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#bleed for this 2016
ughthisisntright · 1 year
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Fuel | Vinny Pazienza x Reader
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Summary: Vinny knows just how to make you feel better.
Warnings: NSFW, MDNI, 18+, porn with plot, p in v sex, exhibitionism, general awfulness
Word Count: 1,613
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Rage. Anger. Frustration. Irritation. Calm.
It was in that order that you settled after an argument. You weren’t fond of them, but in your fuckin’ family that was usually what you got. Arguments. Heated ones. You never instigated but man, the second your dad jumped in your mom’s face you bet your ass you were the one jumping up to defend her.
Unfortunately for you, that meant lots of poisonous words thrown in your face - by your father. You’d been dubbed “bitch,” “little girl,” and a whole slew of others in the midst of those face-offs with him. No matter; you’d been called worse by better.
Not to mention the veiled threats on your living situation. You put up with my disrespect, I let you keep living here. Like a prisoner? Sign you up.
So when you found yourself on the business end of an ass-whooping, you decided it was just time to high-tail it out of there. You huffed and puffed out of the house, leaving your drunk father to scream at your tiny mother. What else could you do? A twenty-five-year-old woman against a sixty-year-old drunk? You would have been bloodied within seconds.
Tears screamed in your eyes as you tore out of your driveway in your Chevrolet Chevelle. You ripped down the street and drove to the only place you knew you could find comfort. The one place your heart felt full. The one place where pain was a distant memory.
You pulled into an alleyway and were hardly in park before you were hopping out of the car. You ran up to the door of a brick building, hailed it open, and walked inside. Music blared as soon as you opened the door and all you could smell was sweat. As you walked in further you could hear the familiar grunting and smack of boxing gloves hitting pads, along with orders and other words of encouragement.
You walked into the middle of the gym and caught sight of your man. Your rock. The one guy who could make the rest of your issues go away. Vinny.
He was the vision peace for you. You stood and watched as he finished his round with his trainer, Kevin. Once the older gentleman noticed you, he was finishing up quicker so you could talk to Vinny. And as soon as they were done, Kev wished the two of you goodnight, and Vinny was spinning around to face you.
“Hey, baby!” He beamed as he took his headgear off. “What are you doing here? I thought you had something with your mom?”
The wobble of your bottom lip must have been obvious, because the man’s face fell at the sight.
“Whoa, what happened?” He immediately ripped his gloves off, catching you as you fell into his arms. You didn’t cry - you didn’t want to give that drunk bastard the satisfaction - but you trembled in your strong boyfriend’s arms. He held you for ages, repeatedly asking you what was wrong.
“I just-” you started before taking a deep breath. You pulled away from him and looked into his eyes. Vinny just had this look about him. Like he was always paying attention. It was comforting. And it let you know he was always there for you. So, when you looked into his eyes, something ignited in your belly. Maybe it was the rage still simmering in your chest, or the fact that Vinny was there, but you surged forward and captured his lips in a fiery kiss.
He was taken aback at first, but his hands never faltered. They slipped around your waist and tugged you flush against his sweaty, naked torso. Your hands slid into his sweat-damp hair and tugged the curls atop his head. The kiss became more heated and Vinny was scooping you up.
You wrapped your legs around his torso and he carried you over to one of the weight benches. He sat down on the upright incline bench and leaned back against it, holding you on top of him. You ground your hips against his and his lips traveled down your jaw to your neck and all the way down to your collarbone.
You let out raw moans of pleasure, a release of pent up frustration and rage. Vinny responded in kind by shoving your short skirt up and revealing your bare ass. You made quick work of your top and Vinny was already pulling his gym shorts off. You opted to step out of your skirt and returned to his lap, completely naked for him.
His hands palmed the weight of your breasts as you ran your hand down to his hardening shaft. The anger in your stomach was enough to make you crazy - and you were going to take it out on this man one way or another. You felt the tip of his cock poking your slit as you bumped along him in feverish kisses and desperate touches.
“Need me bad, huh?” Vinny rasped, hand fitted at the back of your head while his lips worked over your neck. “Can feel you shaking, baby, I’ve got you.”
You only groaned in response. You couldn't even attempt to form words properly in the mood you were in. You only knew what to do, and you knew what Vinny was doing, too. You could feel his hands smoothing over the plump of your ass as he coaxed your hips upwards.
He ran the tip of his hard cock through the slick between your legs and wasted no time sinking himself inside you. You gripped his shoulders tightly and felt his hips press against yours as he bottomed out.
“That's it, angel, take what you need,” he groaned softly. “You look so good, all full of me, makes me crazy.”
You lifted your hips up and felt the drag of his cock inside you. He already had you seeing stars, and you'd barely even started. You rested your head down on his sweaty shoulder and seated yourself back down in his lap. You moaned and mewled softly into his ear as you set a steady pace. His grip on your hips was possessive and firm. You could tell he was locked in.
“Baby, baby, fuck,” he whined softly. “Gonna make me cum already, look at you.” He tapped your sides a couple of times.
You picked your head up and looked at him with a haze covering your vision, eyes half-lidded and fucked out already. He looked up at you with his lips parted and sweat at his brow and hairline. He grunted as you fucked yourself with his cock, drinking in the sight of you. He gave a smirk and jutted his chin in a gesture behind you.
You turned your head and were met with the most pornographic sight - Vinny’s cock halfway inside you and your arousal coating it. You'd forgotten the mirror was behind you, now you couldn't look away.
You bit your lip and continued riding Vinny’s cock, making an even bigger show of it not only for yourself but for him, too. He was having a hard time looking away from the mirror just like you. Your moans grew louder and more desperate. Vinny could tell there was more to this but he was too busy with his lips on your nipples to ask.
You tossed your head back and rolled your hips against his in a way that had you crying out his name.
“Fuck, Vinny,” you grunted. “Feel so good, I’m gonna cum soon…”
“Let go, babe, lemme hear you scream for me-”
“I-hah- I’m gonna cum-”
“Do it, lemme hear you. Scream my name, baby, yeahh, fuck you look so fuckin’ hot. Gonna fill you up, make you fuckin’ scream, baby.”
Vinny’s babbling was enough to have you keening, pushing you over the edge and screaming his name just like he wanted. Your pussy clamped down around his cock as he took control. He fucked up into you like an animal in heat. His heavy breathing and desperate grunting was like music to your ears. Your hands gripped the back of the bench as he fucked you through your orgasm, cumming quickly after you with a shattered breath and a whimper of your name.
It was then that you felt the hurt of the day’s events smash into you like a ton of bricks.
Vinny had pulled out of you and you were resting in his lap, chests pressed together and breathing evening out. His fingers caressed your bare back as you laid on top of him. Your head was turned toward the sparring rings and you felt the angry sting of tears in your eyes again. You drew in a shaky breath that alerted Vinny suddenly.
“Babe,” he said roughly. “Hey, talk to me. The fuck is going on?”
You shook your head a couple of times and that was all it took. You let out a soft sob and his arms were around you completely. He kissed your temple and simply held you while you let out the last remains of your anger.
“My fuckin’ dad,” you whimpered. “Fuckin’ drunk piece of shit-”
“Hey, hey,” he soothed. “Enough. Don't think about that right now.”
You pressed your forehead to his chest and sniffled.
“You’re gonna spend the whole weekend with me, baby,” he said with a grin. “Gonna watch me win the fight, gonna go out and get some good food, and I’ll bring you back to that big, fancy hotel room and fuck you till you can’t walk. How’s that sound, gorgeous?”
“Sounds perfect,” you meekly say.
“Atta girl,” he praised. “Always such a good girl for me.”
happy birthday (again) @roosterscock
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jayjay-thejet-plane · 1 month
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Vinny Pazienza!! (played by Miles Teller in Bleed for This (good movie, go watch it))
reblogs and replies are greatly appreciated!
lineart and timelapse below :D
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robotsarecoolaf · 1 day
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youtube
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averseunhinged · 8 months
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💌 send this to the twelve nicest people you know or who seem to have a good heart and if you get five back you must be pretty awesome. 💌 :)
ilu, ella! you're cool and nice and you should probs know that i've prev screenshotted your translated class notes for my own further investigation. you're like a history stuff influencer.
here is a thing from further on in i never said i had the answer i thought you might enjoy! it's v rough and idk what the final form of it will be b/c there's a giant chunk of s4, plus boring new orleans supernatural politics, left to go before this, but it involves my favorite pet theories about the elena + caroline + bonnie friendship.
“You got into Yale?” Elena questioned with a little laugh, dripping in disbelief.
“I had the highest GPA in our graduating class,” Caroline scoffed and crossed her arms, leaning her weight back on one hip. “I got a 2130 on my SATs in one try. Yeah. I got into Yale.”
“Because you’re organized and you obsess over stuff. Not because—”
“Whoa, Elena,” Bonnie protested off to the side.
“Not because I’m intelligent or hardworking? Or because I dedicated myself to cheerleading and student council and spent most of my spare time doing civic activities and community service, because I wanted to be the most attractive candidate to every school I applied to?”
“That’s not what I meant,” Elena insisted, squeezing her hands into fists and pressing them into her stomach, like she always had when she argued with Caroline before turning sucked out her personality and replaced it with Damon’s.
“Of course, that’s what you meant. Because I’m just bitchy, bimbo Caroline, right? Nothing else to see here, right?”
A petite, delicate hand inserted itself between their faces. “Absolutely not,” Bonnie demanded. “You are not doing this to me. I refuse to relive the freshman year fights.”
“Freshman year fights?” Stefan asked, heroically latching onto the attempt to defuse the two women.
“Caroline makes varsity cheer squad freshman year, so Elena goes on a date with Caroline’s crush. Caroline embarrasses Elena in front of said crush and he doesn’t ask her out again. Elena tells the sheriff about the college guy hitting on Caroline, so she gets grounded.” Bonnie flopped onto the sofa next to Stefan. “Why does Elena look better in low rise jeans than I do? Why is Caroline’s hair always shinier than mine? I love you both very much, but I swear I’ll figure out a way to dagger you like Mikaelsons if the alternative is living with that for the rest of my life.”
The room was quiet for a moment, until Damon loudly slurped Liz’s Maker’s Mark. Caroline rattled a disgusted noise deep in her throat when he responded to her disapproving glare with a toasting glass and a show of settling more comfortably into his chair, like he was ready to be entertained.
“I thought we were all going to Whitmore together,” Elena finally said.
Caroline took a steadying breath and tried to shake off her defensiveness. Forced herself to uncross her arms and roll the tension out of her shoulders. She explained, “We were! Yale was just a last minute whim, because they have this specific interdisciplinary Classics program, and I didn’t know when I applied, but the head of the department is a vampire, so when I said I wanted to minor in finance, too, it raised some flags,” she paused and then burst out in a quick rush of justification, “and I might have used a passage I translated out of an old journal in Grams’ collection as an example of the work I was interested in doing. I didn’t think it had anything obviously witchy, but it rang more bells.”
“Jesus, Barbie,” Damon groaned.
“Well, I know it was dangerous, now,” Caroline stopped and thought, frowning. “Mostly because they recognized my last name and universities have problems with hunters infiltrating the student population with their kids. They waitlisted me while they investigated, but I really am a vampire. So, they didn’t have to kill me and everyone I know. Crisis averted. Everything’s fine.”
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snibe · 4 months
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if you ever at any point thought hotline bling is a good song you need to get your ears checked and maybe a psychiatriac evaluation as well
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pika-blur · 5 months
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another steam background because i hated the sonic 4 one kajlshdaj
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pitlanearchive · 9 months
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Ted Kravitz discusses Lewis Hamilton responding to Toto Wolff saying he’s at one with himself at the 2016 Chinese GP.
Ted: why you giving me that funny look?
Simon: I don’t know where you’re going
Ted: Toto Wolff said in the press conference on Saturday night that you know we’ve seen this Lewis Hamilton be so at one with himself and it’s so fantastic to see. And then we asked Lewis about what Toto had said. And Lewis came out with this thing I hadn’t heard before: Nice to hear that from Toto. He’s a very big part of the journey I’m on. You know earlier in my life throughout my life friends used to say to me Lewis you don’t know who you are. It’s like you’re searching for yourself. But now I’ve found myself found my identity. Didn’t work for him today of course but that’s another thing. We just know how centered he is and if you’re a Lewis Hamilton fan out there you know that he’ll overcome these difficulties. Enough to give him the world championship? Who knows.
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nugothrhythms · 9 months
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"We Bleed Black" by Peterborough, England-based gothic post-punk act The Hearse off of their 2016 self-titled debut album.
Fun fact: I discovered this band via a post on Mastodon of all places.
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leviabeat · 2 years
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Rob playing while standing on a couch in The Devil's Bleeding Crown music video
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20cm · 2 years
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sorry i know so many of my followers + mutuals on this blog are kpop but like. i need yall to know one of my main Video Game Man Archetypes
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goldieclaws · 15 days
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The panic I felt this morning bc Norton charged me for a yearly subscription I took over from my dad after he snuffed it but thank GOD the lady I spoke to got it done so quickly for me
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jackthomwolfe · 2 months
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I fucking love the bus. it’s the only conscious version of sleeping, where you’re being productive but you don’t hafta do anything. there’s no one you need to talk to or even acknowledge beyond a smile, a nod, a show of a ticket, and “thank you!” it’s solitude and solidarity at once?? the hum and roar of it, vibrating thru you, but none of the din that freaks my head out (overstim). lookin out, fifteen feet above the street. big fan
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dinosaurswant2rule · 1 year
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I done a thing where I did an update.
For those who don't know, this is based loosely on the unaired pilot tidbits provided by @dashboardonfire and the trailer....such a missed opportunity!
So much whump!!
Mac is a POW in Pakistan trying desperately to recover from a horrifying set of injuries and starts to have complicated (and I mean very complicated feelings) about a woman who saved his life
@grettiwrites I recall you always were fan of medical whump, what do you reckon to this chapter?
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I get variations on this comment on my post about history misinformation all the time: "why does it matter?" Why does it matter that people believe falsehoods about history? Why does it matter if people spread history misinformation? Why does it matter if people on tumblr believe that those bronze dodecahedra were used for knitting, or that Persephone had a daughter named Mespyrian? It's not the kind of misinformation that actually hurts people, like anti-vaxx propaganda or climate change denial. It doesn't hurt anyone to believe something false about the past.
Which, one, thanks for letting me know on my post that you think my job doesn't matter and what I do is pointless, if it doesn't really matter if we know the truth or make up lies about history because lies don't hurt anyone. But two, there are lots of reasons that it matters.
It encourages us to distrust historians when they talk about other aspects of history. You might think it's harmless to believe that Pharaoh Hatshepsut was trans. It's less harmless when you're espousing that the Holocaust wasn't really about Jews because the Nazis "came for trans people first." You might think it's harmless to believe that the French royalty of Versailles pooped and urinated on the floor of the palace all the time, because they were asshole rich people anyway, who cares, we hate the rich here; it's rather less harmless when you decide that the USSR was the communist ideal and Good, Actually, and that reports of its genocidal oppression are actually lies.
It encourages anti-intellectualism in other areas of scholarship. Deciding based on your own gut that the experts don't know what they're talking about and are either too stupid to realize the truth, or maliciously hiding the truth, is how you get to anti-vaxxers and climate change denial. It is also how you come to discount housing-first solutions for homelessness or the idea that long-term sustained weight loss is both biologically unlikely and health-wise unnecessary for the majority of fat people - because they conflict with what you feel should be true. Believing what you want to be true about history, because you want to believe it, and discounting fact-based corrections because you don't want them to be true, can then bleed over into how you approach other sociological and scientific topics.
How we think about history informs how we think about the present. A lot of people want certain things to be true - this famous person from history was gay or trans, this sexist story was actually feminist in its origin - because we want proof that gay people, trans people, and women deserve to be respected, and this gives evidence to prove we once were and deserve to be. But let me tell you a different story: on Thanksgiving of 2016, I was at a family friend's house and listening to their drunk conservative relative rant, and he told me, confidently, that the Roman Empire fell because they instituted universal healthcare, which was proof that Obama was destroying America. Of course that's nonsense. But projecting what we think is true about the world back onto history, and then using that as recursive proof that that is how the world is... is shoddy scholarship, and gets used for topics you don't agree with just as much as the ones you do. We should not be encouraging this, because our politics should be informed by the truth and material reality, not how we wish the past proved us right.
It frequently reinforces "Good vs. Bad" dichotomies that are at best unhelpful and at worst victim-blaming. A very common thread of historical misinformation on tumblr is about the innocence or benevolence of oppressed groups, slandered by oppressors who were far worse. This very frequently has truth to it - but makes the lies hard to separate out. It often simplifies the narrative, and implies that the reason that colonialism and oppression were bad was because the victims were Good and didn't deserve it... not because colonialism and oppression are bad. You see this sometimes with radical feminist mother goddess Neolithic feminist utopia stuff, but you also see it a lot regarding Native American and African history. I have seen people earnestly argue that Aztecs did not practice human sacrifice, that that was a lie made up by the Spanish to slander them. That is not true. Human sacrifice was part of Aztec, Maya, and many Central American war/religious practices. They are significantly more complex than often presented, and came from a captive-based system of warfare that significantly reduced the number of people who got killed in war compared to European styles of war that primarily killed people on the battlefield rather than taking them captive for sacrifice... but the human sacrifice was real and did happen. This can often come off with the implications of a 'noble savage' or an 'innocent victim' that implies that the bad things the Spanish conquistadors did were bad because the victims were innocent or good. This is a very easy trap to fall into; if the victims were good, they didn't deserve it. Right? This logic is dangerous when you are presented with a person or group who did something bad... you're caught in a bind. Did they deserve their injustice or oppression because they did something bad? This kind of logic drives a lot of transphobia, homophobia, racism, and defenses of Kyle Rittenhouse today. The answer to a colonialist logic of "The Aztecs deserved to be conquered because they did human sacrifice and that's bad" is not "The Aztecs didn't do human sacrifice actually, that's just Spanish propaganda" (which is a lie) it should be "We Americans do human sacrifice all the god damn time with our forever wars in the Middle East, we just don't call it that. We use bullets and bombs rather than obsidian knives but we kill way, way more people in the name of our country. What does that make us? Maybe genocide is not okay regardless of if you think the people are weird and scary." It becomes hard to square your ethics of the Innocent Victim and Lying Perpetrator when you see real, complicated, individual-level and group-level interactions, where no group is made up of members who are all completely pure and good, and they don't deserve to be oppressed anyway.
It makes you an unwitting tool of the oppressor. The favorite, favorite allegation transphobes level at trans people, and conservatives at queer people, is that we're lying to push the Gay Agenda. We're liars or deluded fools. If you say something about queer or trans history that's easy to debunk as false, you have permanently hurt your credibility - and the cause of queer history. It makes you easy to write off as a liar or a deluded fool who needs misinformation to make your case. If you say Louisa May Alcott was trans, that's easy to counter with "there is literally no evidence of that, and lots of evidence that she was fine being a woman," and instantly tanks your credibility going forward, so when you then say James Barry was trans and push back against a novel or biopic that treats James Barry as a woman, you get "you don't know what you're talking about, didn't you say Louisa May Alcott was trans too?" TERFs love to call trans people liars - do not hand them ammunition, not even a single bullet. Make sure you can back up what you say with facts and evidence. This is true of homophobes, of racists, of sexists. Be confident of your facts, and have facts to give to the hopeful and questioning learners who you are relating this story to, or the bigots who you are telling off, because misinformation can only hurt you and your cause.
It makes the queer, female, POC, or other marginalized listeners hurt, sad, and betrayed when something they thought was a reflection of their own experiences turns out not to be real. This is a good response to a performance art piece purporting to tell a real story of gay WWI soldiers, until the author revealed it as fiction. Why would you want to set yourself up for disappointment like that? Why would you want to risk inflicting that disappointment and betrayal on anyone else?
It makes it harder to learn the actual truth.
Historical misinformation has consequences, and those consequences are best avoided - by checking your facts, citing your sources, and taking the time and effort to make sure you are actually telling the truth.
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reasonsforhope · 4 months
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Double dose of articles about how crime is actually plummeting
From the UK:
"Seventy-eight per cent of people in England and Wales think that crime has gone up in the last few years, according to the latest survey. But the data on actual crime shows the exact opposite.
As of 2024, violence, burglary and car crime have been declining for 30 years and by close to 90%, according to the Crime Survey for England and Wales (CSEW) – our best indicator of true crime levels. Unlike police data, the CSEW is not subject to variations in reporting and recording.
The drop in violence includes domestic violence and other violence against women. Anti-social behaviour has similarly declined. While increased fraud and computer misuse now make up half of crime, this mainly reflects how far the rates of other crimes have fallen.
All high-income countries have experienced similar trends, and there is scientific consensus that the decline in crime is a real phenomenon.
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The perception gap
So why is there such a gulf between public perception and the reality of crime trends? A regular YouGov poll asks respondents for their top three concerns from a broad set of issues. Concern about crime went from a low in 2016 (when people were more concerned with Brexit), quadrupled by 2019 and plummeted during the pandemic when people had other worries. But in the last year, the public’s concern about crime has risen again.
There are many possible explanations for this, of which the first is poor information. A study published in 1998 found that “people who watch a lot of television or who read a lot of newspapers will be exposed to a steady diet of crime stories” that does not reflect official statistics.
The old news media adage “if it bleeds, it leads” reflects how violent news stories, including crime increases and serious crimes, capture public attention. Knife crime grabs headlines in the UK, but our shock at individual incidents is testament to their rarity and our relative success in controlling violence – many gun crimes do not make the news in the US.
Most recent terrorist attacks in the UK have featured knives (plus a thwarted Liverpool bomber), but there is little discussion of how this indicates that measures to restrict guns and bomb-making resources are effective."
-via The Conversation, May 13, 2024
And the United States:
"[The United States experienced a spike in crime rates in 2020, during the pandemic.] But in 2023, crime in America looked very different.
"At some point in 2022 — at the end of 2022 or through 2023 — there was just a tipping point where violence started to fall and it just continued to fall," said Jeff Asher, a crime analyst and co-founder of AH Datalytics.
In cities big and small, from both coasts, violence has dropped.
"The national picture shows that murder is falling. We have data from over 200 cities showing a 12.2% decline ... in 2023 relative to 2022," Asher said, citing his own analysis of public data. He found instances of rape, robbery and aggravated assault were all down too.
Yet when you ask people about crime in the country, the perception is it's getting a lot worse.
A Gallup poll released in November found 77% of Americans believed there was more crime in the country than the year before. And 63% felt there was either a "very" or "extremely" serious crime problem — the highest in the poll's history going back to 2000.
So what's going on?
What the cities are seeing
What you see depends a lot on what you're looking at, according to Asher.
"There's never been a news story that said, 'There were no robberies yesterday, nobody really shoplifted at Walgreens,'" he said.
"Especially with murder, there's no doubt that it is falling at [a] really fast pace right now. And the only way that I find to discuss it with people is to talk about what the data says." ...
For cities like San Francisco, Baltimore and Minneapolis, there may be different factors at play [in crime declining]. And in some instances, it comes as the number of police officers declines too.
Baltimore police are chronically short of their recruitment goal, and as of last September had more than 750 vacant positions, according to a state audit report...
In Minneapolis, police staffing has plummeted. According to the Star Tribune, there are about 560 active officers — down from nearly 900 in 2019. Mannix said the 2020 police killing of George Floyd resulted in an unprecedented exodus from the department...
In Minneapolis, the city is putting more financial resources into nontraditional policing initiatives. The Department of Neighborhood Safety, which addresses violence through a public health lens, received $22 million in the 2024 budget."
-via NPR, February 12, 2024
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pirateprincessblog · 2 months
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cosmos
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18+ nsfw content ahead, approach with caution. if a minor, I ask you to not interact.
🌌𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫.: centuries ago, humans detected a signal from an asteroid with a collision probability of 1-in-1,200. unwilling to gamble with humanity's future, they decided to evacuate. thus, kang yeosang finds himself aboard a spaceship, nestled in a sleeping pod among thousands of other slumbering passengers. the destination appears distant, and everyone remains asleep. just why is the young man awake then? ☄️𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: kang yeosang x f!reader ☄️𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 17.7k ☄️𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: angst, fluff, smut, slowburn, space travelers, space themes, plot twist, smut with plot ☄️𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: masturbation, voyeurism, praise kink, hair pulling, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, fingering, choking, hair pulling, oral (both receiving), multiple orgasms, biting, marking ☄️𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: Interstellar Main Theme (extended version)
🌠𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: swearing, light violence, existential crisis (me lol), depressing themes, mentions of death, slight blo0d (like two drops), mentions of substances 🌠𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: inspired by passengers (2016), i absolutely adore space, i am so in love with it, to the point it scares me how beautiful, enormous and unpredictable it is. i gave my all to this fic, kinda put myself in it, so please do not hesitate to leave a feedback <3 each word means the world to me!
𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫: 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐲.
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"calculating remaining travel time... xjlsdja23ky324xii... updated."
"come on, you piece of shit."
"updated estimated time to reach proxima centauri b is nine hundred and twenty eight years, six days and seven minutes."
"fuck!" the man hits the screen with his fist, but the numbers don't budge. "what the fuck?!"
if the man's relatives and friends were awake around him at this moment, they would've been shocked. kang yeosang never swore, nor did he ever strike anyone or anything. him losing his temper is something that only ever happened once, at the entrance of the very ship he stands in. the captain wanted to separate his mother from his family, claiming there is no space for her and that they have reached the traveler limit. she is the last to board, they said, you'll wait for the next one. yeosang stepped down, letting his mother take his space, and said his tearful goodbyes before clearing the way for the captain and the stewards to close the doors.
however, they did not. instead, they waved their hand towards a group of people, keeping the door open for them. yeosang watched with his jaw dropped as a family of five rushed to the doors, dragging their designer luggage, wheels scratching the uneven concrete floor and making the man's ears bleed. blood boils inside his body, and his mother noticed the popped vein on his forehead from the window. before she can make it to the door to stop him, yeosang throws himself at the captain, hate, cussing and violence taking over his body.
once the stewards separated them and his mother's face appeared in front of him, he realized his mistake. the older man seized the woman by her elbow, then shoves her down the silver stairs. the sound of groans and thumps still echo in yeosang's ears, accompanied by the distant rumble of the luggage wheels that had triggered his reaction.
"you want to get on the ship so bad? go!"
he is forced inside the ship, and moved away from the doors so they can close them. through the window, he looks at his tearful and hurt mother through his own blurry eyes, heart ripping apart at the sight. i'll be fine, she keeps mouthing, forcing a smile.
they say the next ship will be ready soon, but after this, how can he trust anyone? besides, the ship could be ready next week, or next year. the danger is inching closer with each day that passes, increasing in speed and destroying everything in its path, until it eventually collides with the green planet, destroying both in the process. if they survive the impact, they will die of starvation. yeosang's heart clenches at the thought. he didn't want his mother to await certain death on this planet. he didn't want her to eat dust and dig for food in the ashes of those who stayed, willingly or forcefully.
but that might just be the price for his actions. yeosang sobs against the window, clawing at it. his lungs hurt, a new realization hitting him with each second that passes and sending him into another fit of wailing. a soft smile on her face is the last thing the man sees before he is pulled away from the window. he recognizes his sister's voice comforting him, even though she is in as much pain as him.
now, yeosang stands before the screen, its numbers blurred by fresh tears of sadness and anger. he walks over to his sleeping pod, eyes examining it and brain struggling to understand what went wrong. he lays inside once again, then closes the glass door. the white sheets are still warm and as uncomfortable as the first time he laid there. nothing changes, no sound is heard, no matter how long he lays there. he isn't stupid, he knows that the buttons on the outer shell need to be pressed in order for him to go into hibernation again. but maybe, just maybe, a miracle happens.
an hour, a nap, and no miracles later, yeosang is awake again. he sighs, chest swelling with sadness and pain once more. not only did he abandon his mother, but he is going to face his end alone too. the blonde man glances at the nearby pods; his sister, grandfather, and a few family friends all peacefully awaiting the end of the long voyage. hundreds of pods are lined up in the room, each person inside it dressed the same, stripped of any makeup, piercings, and earthly clothes, instead dressed in simple white silk sleepwear. from the richest to the poorest, they all share the same fate now; a plain sleeping pod, with no designer marks or gold pleating, barefoot, barefaced, and a desire to keep living. he is so close to them, yet so far. surrounded, but isolated.
until he hears a crash outside the hibernation room.
his bare feet tap against the cold white tiles as he follows the echo of the noise, heart thumping with fear and hope. is he not alone?
yeosang finally exits the hibernation room, eyes failing to catch an empty pod near the exit. he finds himself standing in the middle of what looked like a lobby. the pale colour of the walls hurt his eyes, along with a big number of white led lights scattered on the ceiling. on the first glance, it looked simple. once yeosang's eyes got used to the light, he noticed a great willow tree in the middle of the room. it is surrounded by a few wooden benches, all facing it. a long table follows the curved walls, decorated with plants of all sorts, protected by glass.
he does not speak just yet, instead he further examines the room. all the windows are shut, and yeosang doesn't think to approach one and remove the shade. he continues the path through the door closest to the one of the hibernation room, not knowing what to hope for. is he alone, or is he not? both possibilities are equally terrifying. if yes, what was the noise? if not, what could he expect from the person that was also awake for some reason?
yeosang seems to have entered a tube that served as a hallway, the walls curved and decorated with thin led stripes. yeosang's eyes shine under the lights, like a baby's on their first christmas. the hallway leads him into a somewhat warmer decorated room, soft yellow lights a contrast to the previous strong white ones. he raises an eyebrow as he takes in the space. it looks like a restaurant, with a bar fully stocked. there aren't many tables, all of them made to fit up to four people.
they are simply decorated, with a single electric candle in the middle. the chairs are all neatly tucked in, except one. the man carefully approaches the table, fingers hesitantly grazing the plush backrest. it is a deep green colour, the velvet material soft under yeosang's fingertips. the seat itself has an imprint, and yeosang's heart seems to stop for a moment. he raises his head abruptly, and his eyes lock with another pair.
he steps back, breath caught in his throat. the figure gasps too, eyes widening, before her legs carry her outside the restaurant and into another room. the man stays still, unsure if he should follow. what if it is a trap? for his misbehaviour? what should he do anyway? hide around the ship until the end of his life? could be tricky, but the ship is enormous. with an equally enormous luck, he might just make it.
his eyes catch a few items on the table; an opened book, a marker, cup of brown liquid and a broken necklace. on the floor is a shattered glass, probably the crash he heard. he takes the book in his hands, making sure to remember the page before closing it to view the title. it looks like a steamy romance, and when he goes through a few pages, he has to set it down before his attention shifts to something else.
"good evening, sir. ready to order?"
yeosang jumps, dropping the just acquired blue marker on the table. the voice is robotic, yet the face is human. it is an older man, with wheels instead of feet. his hands look human too, holding a tray with a single glass of water on it. it is when yeosang takes a sip that he realizes just how parched he was. he downs the glass, a few drops escaping and rolling down his chin and neck.
"what are you?" he finally speaks.
"i am a human made robot, created to be at your service during your stay at the ship. would you like to sit and take a look at the menu?"
yeosang sits down on the other chair, curiosity taking over him. shortly after, a thin menu is handed to him. it has a few usual choices, and a few more fancy ones. his stomach grumbles as he reads the ingredients of a certain dish, mouth almost watering when he sees the picture of it on the next page. but he has other things to worry about.
"made for our service, right?"
"indeed, sir."
"then, can you activate my pod again?"
"oh, sorry sir. that is beyond my program."
the blonde haired man sighs, dropping the menu on the table. he intertwines his fingers and rests his elbows on the edge of the table, his chin on top of his hands. he looks at the robot's smiley face, and then scoffs.
"it's just a few buttons."
"i'm sorry sir, but-"
"you're programmed to make dozens of cocktails, but not to press a few buttons?" he raises his voice, annoyed with the situation.
"it is dangerous, sir. i cannot just press any buttons, there is a whole procedure. your pod might implode, and you might endanger other pods, even the ship itself."
"bullshit."
"perhaps the young lady can help."
yeosang follows the robot's gaze, and his eyes lock with those from moments ago again. a female figure stands at the doors where she once disappeared, with no emotion on her face. at first, yeosang thinks that it is another robot. but all of her seems human enough.
"i'll be at the bar if you need me." with that, the robot slides behind the bar, busying himself with cleaning.
the girl approaches, carefully. when she reaches her once abandoned table, she slowly smiles. the look on the man's face makes her smile fade quickly, pure anger written all over his features.
"you." he says through gritted teeth.
"uh... hi. my name is-" she holds her hand out as a greeting, ignoring the sudden hostile demeanor.
"i don't want to know your fucking name."
"w-what?"
yeosang replays the image of the captain pushing him out of the way, only to invite a whole family inside after he said there is no more space left. he saw you, carrying that foolish designer bag over your shoulder, the weight of it pulling your body to the side. he remembers locking eyes with you for a split second, just before he went berserk on the captain. you looked like you hadn't worked a single day in your life, and like your world was only flowers and waterfalls.
"you're holding me accountable for your mom, aren't you?"
"do not talk about my mother."
"you know, before assuming something, you should try thinking a bit harder. how do you-"
"i don't have to- no, i don't want to think harder. you rich bastards waltz in here like it's nothing while us poor people have to scrape every corner of our house for the last penny to get a chance for a ticket." he stands from the chair abruptly, making it fall on the floor and you flinch.
tears gather in your eyes, and you feel frustrated that you cannot control it. why do you always have to cry, no matter the emotion? who cries from anger, for god's sake?
"oh, no no. you do not get to cry. that is my mother that stayed down there, and-"
"you think i just waltzed in here? just like that? you think i didn't pay for my own goddamn ticket? you think they let us in just because of our status and wealth?"
"you paid for your ticket? who told you that, your daddy?"
you stay silent for a moment, before confirming. yeosang laughs sarcastically, offending you even more.
"right." he scoffs.
"you think he would lie to me?"
"did you see the tickets? do you know what they look like? how much they cost? where they're taking us? do you even know where you are going? tell me any of these things, and i'll believe you."
you sit down, staring at the broken necklace. you did not know any of those things. you did ask your father to show you the tickets multiple times, you were excited. but he delayed it, even at the entrance, he didn't have to show it to the captain.
"that's what i thought."
"but... why would they let us board?"
"because your daddy is an important minister. you should try thinking a bit harder." he repeats your sentence from earlier.
you sit still, anger stirring inside of you. anger no longer directed at the gorgeous man, but at your family. your father specifically. the stranger picks up the chair, then sits on it. he sighs, shoving his face in his hands.
"what happened to your pod?" he asks, not yet looking at you.
"i don't know. i suddenly woke up, couldn't breathe, and had to break the glass to get out. next thing i know, it had smoke coming out of it so i pressed a bunch of buttons until the thing shut down completely. what about yours?"
yeosang removed his hands from his face, finally looking at you properly. he feels his ears and cheeks warm up, noticing just how beautiful you are. he looks at your book instead, unable to maintain eye-contact.
"no difficulty with breathing as far as i remember. i woke up like i did on earth every day, and it felt natural too. the lid was open, no smoke or cracks. the digital board seemed normal, the vitals still showing up until i had to rip the cables from my wrists." yeosang looks down on his hands, remembering how gently he yanked those tubes from his flesh. "then i was confused as to why i was the only one awake. i went to the main screen in the hibernation room, might've hit it, and then heard a crash. you, assuming?"
"yeah. i knocked it over while trying to fix the stupid necklace."
yeosang nods, eyeing the necklace that now rests in your fingers. it has a simple butterfly pendant, and yeosang fights the urge to ask if it holds any meaning.
"how long have you been awake?"
"about three weeks."
"it doesn't sound like a lot, but when you're alone, assuming it feels like three months?"
you laugh, "more like three years."
"have you tried sending a message back to earth?"
you frown, remembering all the video and voice messages you have sent the first day you woke up and met your new fate. you abused the poor system, sending a tearful plea for help almost every hour.
"i have."
"and?"
"it takes approximately nineteen years for them to receive it, and more than nineteen for me to receive the reply, depends on the speed we are moving at. in that time, the asteroid is expected to strike. they'll have it worse than i do, so i am at least grateful that i get to live to an old age. hopefully."
silence envelops both of you for a while. he seems to be thinking, eyes squinted and nose scrunched cutely.
"do you think... you can try activating my pod again?"
he sees your smile fade. must be horrible to be all alone, especially knowing that you won't reach the set destination. nine hundred years is a long time after all. barely any human lives past a hundred.
"i can try."
yeosang beams, excitedly standing up. he misses the way your eyes become glossy again, tears threatening to spill any moment. you trail behind him, using the chance to examine him. he is taller than you, with soft blonde hair that falls over his almond eyes, and bright skin. he looks like a prince, more beautiful than any man you've been with or had a crush on. he looks over his shoulder, checking to see if you're following him. his eyes are a warm chestnut brown, and his lips a pretty pink shade. you're jealous of his cheekbones and lashes.
soon enough you stand in front of his hibernation pod, the lid opened and the sheets inviting, no matter how uncomfortable.
"right, then. lay down." you say with a heavy heart.
he wastes no time, laying in the pod with his eyes closed and rolling up his sleeves. you take the discarded tubes, poking the tiny needles back below his wounded flesh and taping them back together. he closes his eyes, and his lips twitch in a smile. you bite the inside of your cheek, wishing for nothing more than for all of this to fail.
you're horrible, yes. but if you have to spend another day alone here, you might just toss yourself out in space without a suit on and die. robots are a good company only for a limited amount of time, before their answers start becoming repetitive and predictable.
"you never told me your name." you mumble, getting ready to close the clear lid.
"yeosang." he says, opening one eye to look at you. "yours?"
"y/n."
"beautiful." he compliments.
"bye, yeosang. i hope a better life awaits you." you say before your voice starts cracking, and a tear escapes your eye.
"bye, y/n." the man says his final words before closing his eyes again and relaxing.
you close the lid, then make sure his vitals are showing on the tiny screen. once everything seems ready, you follow the steps on the screen, pushing the buttons in the right order, until it asks for an authorization code.
"shit."
he seems to hear it, because he opens his eyes to look at you with his eyebrow raised. "what?"
"uh, i'll be right back. i just need the authorization code."
"oh. alright, i hope you find it."
"it should be on the main screen."
after a long time of fooling around on the screen, you do not find the code. if you were to start guessing, you wouldn't know where to start. the keypad offers both numbers and letters, and it could be any combination.
"yeosang?"
"yes?"
"i'm so sorry, but... i couldn't find the code."
yeosang's world shatters once again. it seemed way too easy anyway.
"help me out."
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a week later, you still find the man in the same spot. he sleeps in his hibernation pod, and when he doesn't, he sits on the floor beside it and stares at the ceiling. the glass of water you had brought him last night, just like every other night, was empty beside it. it makes you feel relieved that he drank. you don't want him to die like this. you aren't sure how you would handle that, both emotionally and physically.
"yeosang?"
you call, hoping to convince him to come outside today.
"want a tour of the ship? you haven't seen anything yet. besides, don't you have to piss from all this water?"
"thanks for reminding me. my kidneys will kill me." he groans. "which way?"
you lead him out the hibernation room and into the lobby again, only this time you take a different path. there is a door near the restaurant hallway, and you playfully open it up for him.
"my lord."
he rolls his eyes, not yet in the mood for jokes. you lean your head against the locked door, hearing a soft sniff from inside.
"the sooner you accept it, the better it will be for you. i promise."
"you say it like it's easy."
"it's not. i still cry myself to sleep. but i like to pretend that i own the ship, and that all of those people in those pods are my peasants who are coming to serve me on my new planet."
you hear a faint chuckle, and your heart feels lighter.
"besides, once i show you everything, you'll see just how irrelevant our lives are compared to the whole universe. it's beautiful, yeosang."
"you can see outside?"
"yes. i'll take you to the cockpit, if you promise to have a proper breakfast."
you hear water running, and you assume he is washing his hands. "how do you know it's morning? isn't it always dark out there?"
"funnily enough, my digital watch still works. the battery did not run out yet. currently, it is ten in the morning on earth. i even let you sleep in! how generous of me."
he opens the door, causing you to stumble forward into him. he catches you before your head can hit his chest, and it is then that you realize just how big his hands are. you smile awkwardly, stepping back.
"let's go."
yeosang chooses a simple breakfast; cereal and a banana. you order your usual, the blueberry muffin and chocolate milk having you in a chokehold since the first day you woke up. you feel like a peasant who was allowed into his lord's house, eating like a starved farmer while yeosang eats like a sophisticated prince. he taps the napkin on the corners of his mouth every few moments, doesn't graze the spoon against the bowl and doesn't slurp the milk. you, on the other hand, have made a mess not only on the table, but on your lap and floor as well.
"so, uh..." he trails, moving the emptied bowl aside and reaching for the yellow fruit, "what's the plan?"
"are we talking short term or long term?" you also finish the muffin and set the paper wrap aside.
"let's stick to short for now."
"i thought i'd give you a tour of the ship. find you a room, spare clothes and such. the ship is like a city floating through space. my childhood town didn't have this many things to do."
the man laughs lightly, fidgeting with the banana. he doesn't peel it yet, his thoughts so intense they're almost audible. you call his name, once, twice. he doesn't respond. hesitantly, you reach over to put your hand over his. he ceases his fidgeting, his gaze locking with yours. the whites of his eyes are red and glossy again, and being the sensitive person you are, your eyes start burning too. you let out a shaky sigh, trying your hardest not to break down in front of him. he avoids your gaze again, seeing what he did to you.
"i'm going to sound mean and horrible. i know you might have a spark of hope left, and i want to tell you that you should get rid of it right away. hope will only worsen your pain. there is nothing we can do, yeosang. we can't turn the ship around, we are already years away. we will make it just in time for us to die of old age. we can't wake up any of the crew or loved ones, who would put them to sleep again? one of us would have to stay back again. and if you're thinking of the worst... well, i can't stop you there. i'll try, but the ship is huge. i won't be able to keep up with you if you do decide to take that step."
the blonde man sniffles, wiping his cheeks with the back of his free hand. his other one still subconsciously holds onto yours, thumb lightly caressing your skin and comforting you.
"if you, however, do decide... please let me know. so i can prepare to be alone again." your voice trembles, and tears finally set themselves free.
yeosang squeezes your hand, then put his other one over it and keeping it warm. he just now realizes how hard you also have it. he feels selfish, dumping all his sadness on you and not thinking about your feelings at all. you are a stranger, but if you are going to live on the ship with him, might as well try and make friends with you. otherwise, it would be awkward to coexist together.
"so, the cockpit?"
"woah, take me to dinner first."
as you help ryan, the robot you both named, clean up the table, yeosang takes the time to examine the bar.
"so he makes all the food too?"
"there's a couple machines back there, not humanoid though. enough to know a medium rare steak and fries. you'll need all the protein you can get."
he hums, then gets out of the way so that ryan can get the dishes cleaned. you wait near the table, not rushing him yet. he needs time, as much as you still need it. but one of you needs to be the tough one, or you won't last. as soon as he makes his overthinking face, you are quick to grab his elbow and drag him with you.
"there's more to the ship than the bar and the lobby."
when back in the said lobby, you release his elbow and continue down a different path. the short, tube-like hallway is the same as the one before, this time leading into a different room.
"this is the storage. spare clothes, towels, hygiene supplies and such can be found here. further down, see that door? those are the showers. but there is a shower in each of the vip rooms. you can pick whichever room you want when we get there."
"sounds nice."
you show him the gym and the small terrarium, before continuing through the main door of the lobby. yeosang watches in awe as you take out a silver card from the pocket of your sleepwear top and scan it.
"where did you get that?"
"found it in the hibernation room when i woke up. it was locked in a little glass box, it said something like break in case of emergency. seemed emergency enough for me. sadly, it did not have any codes to operate the pods."
the circular door opens smoothly in a spiral, opening a whole new hallway. this one isn't like the previous ones. it is wide, and it rotates around its axis. and it doesn't have a floor. it is simply a tube. the door closes behind you when you step over threshold, and yeosang flinches.
"uh..."
"trust me. take my hand."
everything yeosang does recently is with hesitation. and you understand him, truly. but at least he has someone to guide him. you had nobody. once his hand slides into yours, you don't give him time to ask anything before jumping inside the tube. his heavy body floats in the air, following after you. you can't help the smile that spreads on your lips when yeosang looks up. his jaw is dropped, and his eyes shine orange under the sunlight.
he is speechless, face pressed against the rotating glass like a child against a store window. you swim over to him, also pressing your nose against the cold glass. he is witnessing the first sunset on a different planet, and his heart flutters at the sight.
"it is..." he starts, but doesn't finish.
"i know. there's no word for it, is there?"
"not really, no. beautiful? glorious? breathtaking? none of it seems enough to describe it. it is... strange. different. scary."
you hum, looking down at the dense clouds of the yellow planet. "our earth is so much more beautiful, though. couldn't live on such a dull planet."
"do you think anyone lives down there?"
you shrug, not having thought about it.
"do you think anyone lives on the planet where we are headed? just how advanced is our science and astronomy? for all we know, we could get crushed by a single step from some giant as soon as we land. then all of this was for nothing."
it is the first time you hear him talk more, and you don't dare interrupt him. he has a lovely voice, a deep tone with a soft lisp. you smile to yourself, wondering if anyone pointed that cute trait out to him.
"i guess it doesn't matter for the two of us anyway. not like we are going to live to see it."
"such a ray of sunshine, aren't you?"
he chuckles, sparing you a single glance before flying off to the other side. the planet is enormous, even with the distance the ship keeps with it. their home star seems tiny, but you know that it is just very far away. it might be stronger and way bigger than the sun you know.
"how fun would it be if a fleet came rushing to the ship and they imprisoned us? made us work for them and all?"
"yeosang!"
almost half an hour later, you had to peel yeosang from the windows that were now full of face and finger prints. he whines, but doesn't have much power over his body like you do. you learned to navigate the zero gravity spaces, while he is just getting used to them. you effortlessly pull him through the tube, taking one last glance at the yellow giant below the ship before landing on a floor again. he doesn't succeed, instead landing on his hands and almost his face. the door closes behind you, and smoke fills the small hallway.
"pressure stabilized. you may proceed."
"thank you!" you yell, skipping towards the new doors.
"they can... hear you?"
"huh? oh, no they can't. that's just the automatic system. but it is a habit of mine, to talk to these machines. i had to speak somehow, or to something, otherwise i would've lost it."
"understandable."
using the card, you open another door. each time you do, you are amazed at the mechanics. everything is very futuristic, and no door opens with a doorknob. they are either sensor or card activated, and they always open unusually. from those that spirally open, to those that slide up or down. you love the noises they make when they do so.
"these are the vip rooms. we still have to figure out how we will use the card, since there is only one and you need it to move around. i can unlock the room you want so you don't have to look for me every time you want to go to your room, but that's all the card can unlock. i'll check with ryan if we can duplicate it for other doors."
"he was incapable of pushing a few buttons, think he can replicate a whole card?"
"doesn't hurt to try. anyway, pick a room!" you hand him the card, motioning to the sensors near the doors. "feel free to check out each one of them."
he wants to take the first one, without exploring the rest. but you pressure him into seeing others, claiming there might be better ones. truth is, you've claimed the best one for yourself. but he doesn't need to know that.
"oh, wow." he breathes out, entering the last room at the far end.
it has a simple white bed, already made with pillows and sheets, a desk and a few shelves above it. it has a door that leads to his own bathroom, and a small dresser. a circular window just above the bed takes yeosang's attention again. he smiles, then turns towards you.
"this one."
"you sure?"
"positive. i'd love to wake up to that view every morning."
"then, it is settled. you have your own bathroom and shower, so you won't have to go out all the way back to the lobby. there's also a minibar, it gets restocked once every two weeks for now. but i found a way to change it. it's just a few drinks and snacks."
he nods, still taking in the room.
"anyways, i'd like to call it a day. the cockpit will have to wait. you should refresh yourself, there is towels in the drawers under the bed and spare clothes in the dresser. it's only sleepwear, but fresh. the dirty clothes go in that bin by the door, it gets automatically dumped in the washing machine in the storage room every morning."
"wow, you've really done some exploring."
"guess i have. have fun. i'll unlock the room, then i'll be right across the hall if you need me."
"thank you, y/n."
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a few days later, a knock wakes you up. you glance at the watch, and seeing that it is three in the morning, you groan.
"yes?"
"are you awake?"
"now i am."
"sorry."
you stay silent, waiting for him to continue. but he doesn't. you hear shuffling outside the door, then footsteps. you roll your eyes before dragging your body out of the comfortable bed. you open the door, only to find him very much awake and dressed in fresh clothes, on his way back to his room.
"what is it?"
"what's the time?" he turns around at your voice.
"three in the morning."
"oh."
you stare at each other in silence for a few moments. you raise an eyebrow, amused with his behaviour. "well?"
"right. i was bored. i don't know what to do. i can't sleep."
"then... go to the gym?"
"i forgot how to get there. is there anything else to do? where did you get that book you were reading?"
"ah, the library"
"there's a library?!"
"um, yes. not many books, though. mostly classics, only a small young adult and fantasy section. a few comics here and there. it is on the other side of the ship, though. want to borrow mine until tomorrow?"
his cheeks flush at the sight of the book, remembering the themes of it. a little reading can't hurt. besides, he hasn't had any activity in a while. not with himself either.
"sure."
"want to hang here while you read? if you start feeling sleepy you can just sleep in that other bed." you offer, gesturing towards the bed across the one you have occupied.
"sure, if you don't mind."
"make yourself comfy. the minibar is still stocked, feel free to take anything."
it doesn't take long for you to jump back into bed, warming it up and scrunching the pillow beneath your head. it is just not high enough. with your head turned towards the window, you can see yeosang's reflection. he sits cutely on the bed, back pressed against the slightly curved wall and knees pressed to his chest. his blonde locks fall over his eyes, and he blows upwards every now and then to remove them. you smile to yourself before dozing off.
the second time you are woken up, it is by soft whimpers coming from behind you. a wave of heat washes over your body, seeing the reflection in the window. yeosang lays on the bed, the book halfway finished but discarded on the floor next to the bed. he bucks his hips into his hand, which is wrapped around his pretty pink cock. the veins on his hands are bulging, like the ones on his cock, and you have to fight every urge in you to not jump on him.
you shiver at his moans, getting louder and more... pathetic. carefully, your hand slides from under the pillow and under the blanket, reaching the heat between your legs. he chokes on his own moans, gasping and whining more as he works his way to an orgasm. your other hand sits on your mouth, stopping any noise from escaping. you don't tease yourself, there is no need. you are wet enough for your fingers to slide inside of you easily, and you immediately start pumping.
light squelching is heard in the small room, and you are not sure if it is him or you. either way, the noises are driving you insane, and you hate that you cannot quicken your pace.
yeosang is a gorgeous man, and you found yourself having a crush on him the moment you saw him. but you never thought of him this way. he was just too sweet and innocent looking. now? seeing his veiny hands work on himself, pretty lips creating noises you didn't know men could make, cheeks flushed and hair sticking to his face and neck, you might just be in trouble.
"fuck-" he whispers, hips becoming sloppier with each thrust.
you use the last few moments of his lack of attention before his orgasm to speed up your fingers, inching yourself closer and closer, until a wave of pleasure washes over you and blurs your vision for a moment. you bite into your hand, legs squeezing shut from the intense pleasure. you did touch yourself occasionally during these few weeks, but nothing was as strong and intense as this. and none of it was because of yeosang.
you realize you missed his orgasm, and can't help but frown. you would've loved to see it. his pretty eyes rolling back, and his breathing getting shallow as he loses himself to pleasure. he has already composed himself while you were still getting down from your high. he stands up, puts the book on the nightstand near your bed, then makes his way back to your bathroom.
by the time he comes back, you are already asleep from exhaustion.
"tell me about yourself." he says the next morning.
"ask away." you respond, already out of breath.
the treadmill was never your friend. yeosang had joined you right after you warmed up, and you were the one blushing this time. every time you look at him, you see his sweaty face from last night. not a sight to complain about, but you could've done without it.
"i don't know. favorite colour? movie? song? are there such things on the ship?"
"there is a selection of songs. a couple from each period, as samples to show if there is anyone where we are going. well, they. and a few movies, i think. also some popular ones from each period. they have game of thrones, too."
"ah, i never watched it."
"really? i started it on the ship. didn't know what else to do. i am not watching the godfather or star wars again. so far it seems good. jon snow is to die for."
yeosang looks at you, confused. "i don't know who that is."
"if you want to watch with me, i'll show you. i haven't shown you the theater yet anyway."
you stop the treadmill, jumping off it and sitting on the floor for a moment. your legs burn, but it is satisfying discomfort. you wait for yeosang to dismount the stationery bicycle, not looking at his bottom whatsoever. not fair how it is better shaped than yours. he is speaking to you, but you are busy admiring his body. he always hides under the loose sleepwear, this is the first time you see him properly. he wears a tight athletic fit, showing off his broad shoulders and thin waist.
"is that okay?"
"what?" you accidentally yell, then slap your hand over your mouth.
he laughs, running his fingers through his damp hair and glancing at you over his shoulder. "i asked if you want to have dinner? i know we usually skip it from lack of moving during the day, but i am going to be here for a while. i'm going to need some food before bed."
"of course. i was thinking the same. any dress code?" you joke.
"i mean, you can dress fancy. why not? who's stopping us?"
"what, are you going to wear, like, a tuxedo or something?"
"i'll figure something out." he gets off the bicycle, sending you a playful wink.
you find yourself blushing under his gaze, but you do not look away. he is just too mesmerizing to look at. where has this man been hiding down on earth?
"need help getting up?"
"uh, i think i might skip the bike. my legs are too shaky. i'll stay on the floor for a while."
"you'll catch a cold. come here."
without a warning, his hands position themselves on your waist, and so effortlessly pick your aching body up. you hold onto his shoulders, flabbergasted. there is no motive, other than being helpful, but you can't help the sudden rush you feel between your legs. imagining him manhandling you, throwing you around as he likes, wrapping his hand around your neck as you struggle to breathe and beg him for more.
"i'll help you." he sets you down on the yoga mat, then gently pushes you to lay down. "you have to warm up more and stretch yourself."
"if i start warming myself up more, i won't have the energy for a proper exercise."
"come on, don't be dramatic. i'll show you now, alright?"
"fine."
you lay back, eyes looking up at the open ceiling. millions of white and yellow dots glimmer all across the dark void. yeosang's hands slide from your waist to your leg, gently rubbing the thigh. he puts light pressure on it, and it only increases the muscle pain. but you trust him, so you let him continue. he does the same to your other thigh, and repeats the process with your calves. he then sets his hands on your ankles, slowly pushing your feet across the mat until your knees are propped up. he doesn't stop there, picking your ankles off the floor and slowly pressing your knees to your chest.
"oh, fuck me." you gasp in pain, shutting your eyes and reaching for something to hold onto.
your fingers can't grasp the tight fabric of the athletic shirt, so you resort for digging your nails into his shoulders. he holds you in that position for a few moments, then slowly releases and straightens your legs out again. then again, and again, until you are sweating with pain.
"you're doing good," he hushes, "just a bit more. you can handle it for me, can't you?"
"i guess, yeah."
"good girl."
before you can respond with anything other than a grunt, yeosang presses your knees against your chest one more time, this time leaning his body against you. his body is firm, and big. he hovers over you, his crotch dangerously close to yours. if you moved just a few inches, you'd be grinding on him. he stays still for a moment, not breaking eye contact as he causes delicious pain, and you can't help but think about other ways he could stretch you.
"does it hurt?" he whispers.
"a little." you respond with an equal quiet voice.
"i'll get you used to it, don't worry."
it doesn't feel like he is talking about the warmup anymore. but you decide not to risk it. he could really mean it in an innocent and helpful manner, and you would be the lust driven fool who has ruined the only friendship you are going to have in your life. you remove your hands from his shoulders, then gently press them against his chest to push him away. he doesn't budge, but takes the message and moves himself. he is so much stronger than he looks, and it drives you crazy. such an angelic face, with such a sculpted body.
"i think i'll finish early today. if i continue, i won't have the strength to even dress for the dinner, let alone reach the restaurant."
"alright, then. eight tonight?"
"sounds good. got your card?"
he retrieves the shiny item from his back pocket and flashes it your way. "right here."
"great. i'll see you tonight, then. with my fancy clothes." you laugh, picking up the items you have scattered around the gym.
"ditto."
you raid the storage room, looking for anything that is not gym clothes or sleepwear. roaming around the ship, you find the luggage room. hundreds of bags, all full to the brim. you're sure they won't mind if you borrow something. not your fault your father made you pack simple childish clothes and only a handful of makeup.
eight o'clock rolls around quickly, and you may or may not be running late. your room is a mess, makeup scattered all over the desk and nightstand, and clothes piling up on the bed. you do not know what you've pulled from what bag. it's not like you'll be alive to hear them confront you anyway. you had heard yeosang's door shut ten minutes ago, and no matter how much you rush, it seems that everything is working against you. your hair was frizzier than ever, and you hated having it any other way than down. tonight, however, you do not wish to look like you just woke up and forgot about the dinner. you resort for a simple hairclip, pulling out a few strands of hair to frame your face. finally, you feel decent enough to leave the room.
yeosang hears the clicking of shoes, then stands up. his jaw drops at the sight, and he almost forgets to talk. he hasn't seen you with your hair up, ever, not in the gym either. you had some sort of a loose braid, but loose and messy enough to look how you normally do your hair. your face is exposed completely, along with your neck. yeosang was never one to gawk at a woman, but the way the deep red colour of the evening gown complimented your skin and the fabric hugged your curves had him stuttering. your lips had a red tint, with a hint of glitter, both matching the dress. the dress sparkles under the lights as you walk over to him, like the stars yeosang looks at all day and night.
"don't you look handsome." you smile.
he wears a loose, slightly see through black shirt, with nothing underneath. your mouth waters at the sight of the outline of his chest and abs. you so desperately want to run your nails down his torso. he also wears black slacks, and polished black shoes. his hair is tamed, falling in soft blonde locks around his face and showing his eyes properly.
"you look... uh-" his gaze roams your body, up and down multiple times. it lingers on your lace up heels, and if you looked at him for just a bit longer, you would see the way he gulped and licked his lips. "you look dashing."
"thank you, yeosang. you're very sweet."
he pulls out the chair for you, and that simple act already gives you butterflies. as you sit and look at the menu, as if it's your first time seeing it, you can't help but think whether this is a date. you fear to ask. two people looking good and sitting down for dinner doesn't always mean a date, right? even when they keep blushing at each other every few moments?
"are those your clothes?" you ask, chewing on the appetizer.
"no, actually. borrowed them from some guy named seonghwa, i think it said on the bag. he has good taste. i might borrow more things from him once in a while. what about you? that dress has to be yours, it looks like it was made for you."
"i borrowed it from some lady. seems that she only took evening gowns with her. from all of this, only the hair clip is mine."
yeosang nods, shoving a bruschetta in his mouth. "you look pweffy wif your hair up."
"what?" you laugh, taking the last appetizer from the sharing plate.
"i said..." he swallows, "you look pretty with your hair up. you should wear it like that more often."
"will do, sir."
two hours of eating, conversing and laughing later, you drag yeosang from his seat to dance. it has to be the prosecco speaking, because you would never ask him such a thing sober. especially because you can't dance.
"there is no music," he stands in front of you, hands resting on your waist.
he is slightly tipsy, but the sober one between the two of you. you wrap your hands around his neck, and call ryan.
"yes, miss?"
"put on some music, please."
"right away, miss. do you wish for anything specific?"
"play something by elvis."
even though you claim you can't dance, your body moves itself to the soft rhythm of the music. you sway your hips and move your feet to match the blonde man. both of you still have hands firmly planted on the others body, and eyes locked with each other. this time, neither of you look away. something about this moment is so beautiful, and so sad. you have each other, but are alone. you try to make the best out of the situation, but both of you are terrified. you have only learned to mask it well so you can keep each other strong.
but tonight, neither of you holds back tears. you let them freely spill, feeling vulnerable in each others arms. you tremble under his touch, afraid to let go. his thumb grazes your cheek, wiping the new tears away and caressing your skin in the process. this time, it is his turn to comfort you. he wraps his arms around you and pulls you into a hug while still swaying to the rhythm of the music. his head rests in the crook of your neck, nose nuzzling against your exposed skin. you have your head buried into his chest, while your hands rest on his back and fingers scrunch the light material of the shirt.
"you smell nice." he compliments softly.
you scoff through tears. "it's a new shampoo."
"macadamia?"
"yeah. was feeling like autumn today."
"i like it. better than my old spice supply."
it feels comforting to silently cry into his chest. after being the one comforting him and staying strong for a long time, it is his turn to cheer you up. he holds your face in his hands, thumbs relentlessly wiping tears away.
"as beautiful as you look even when you cry, i'll have to interrupt with a fun discovery i've made a few days ago."
your cheeks heat up at the compliment. nobody has ever told you anything like that. even at your lowest, he makes you feel pretty.
"a discovery?"
"yeah. i saved it for tonight. come with me." the brown eyed man smiles at you before offering his hand for you to take.
"but slow down, these heels are quite uncomfortable." you accept his warm hand, taking it like you were made for it.
he stays still for a few moments, gaze locked on the black platform heels. a squeal leaves your lips when yeosang takes your body in his hands, carrying you bridal style. you hold onto his neck, and press your head against his shoulder for support.
"wait, the card! i left it on the table."
yeosang makes his way back to the table, then lowers you enough for you to grab the card. you playfully put it between your teeth, then wrap your arms around his neck again. as he walks, you nearly drift off on his shoulder. the soft clicking of his shoes against the floor, his scent, and his occasional humming gives you a sense of serenity. he smells of vanilla and bourbon, and it is a big refreshment from all the ocean breezes and sport rushes. seeing him order the glass of bourbon made your stomach flutter, as you were used to men only ordering beer or a rum-coke. he took small sips of it, a complete opposite to you who finished two glasses before getting to desert. the third one we shall not mention.
you feel him stop, and you open your eyes. you look at a door you've never seen before. looking around, you notice lockers lined up on the wall and a screen hanging in the middle of the room.
"i'll put you down now."
he sits you on the bench under the screen, then crouches in front of you and reaches for the card still nestled between your teeth. you move your head away, sitting on your hands. he scoffs, then reaches again. but you are stubborn. you move your head away once again, causing him to sigh and rest his hands on your knees for support.
"can i have the card please?"
you finally lean in, getting to his eye level. his eyes watch your lips sparkle, just like the card that is stuck between them. the tips of his ears become hot again, and he is glad that his hair is covering them today.
finally getting the hint, the man sighs, playing annoyed. he leans in, hands squeezing your knees, before he takes the other end of the card in his teeth. you almost giggle out loud, not actually expecting him to do that. he takes his sweet time retrieving it, slowly pulling it from your mouth and keeping his gaze locked with yours. you finally let go, accidentally leaving a red lip stain on your side of it.
he then transfers it to his hand, while using his other one to poke your forehead. "you really are something."
"that's right, poke the weak."
"you're going to have to take your heels off for this."
you groan, throwing your head back dramatically. "do i have to?"
"why, too lazy?"
"maybe."
yeosang rolls his eyes, then takes your leg and places it over his lap. his fingers place the card back between his teeth, this time the side with your lipstick on it. something about the whole situation is insanely intimate, and you might beg him to just chain you up on the side of the ship so you don't do anything. he begins untying the laces of the heel, making sure to graze your skin accidentally with his knuckles. you feel his warm breath on your skin, and can't help but squeeze your thighs together. it is only then you realize that he can see up your dress. but he chooses not to.
"you do it so naturally. do you usually take girl's heels off?"
a pinch to your thigh causes you to jump and yelp, and you use your other leg to gently bump his shoulder with the tip of the heel. he doesn't react, only smirking to himself while still looking down and working on the halfway undone lace. you repeat the action, feeling mischievous and set on seeing what he'll do. on the third bump, yeosang grabs your ankle, yanking it forward along with your body and looks up at you.
your legs are now slightly spread, and he can easily look if he wanted to. but he still doesn't. his eyes stay locked with yours, no longer a playful glint in them. his pupils are dilated, causing his eyes to appear darker than usual. a gulp goes down your throat painfully slow, realization hitting you. he might not like this type of teasing and joking, and you might've pushed it too far. after all, he is trying to do a nice thing for you here. he is crouching on the ground for you, for god's sake.
"stay still." he almost growls, voice low and stern.
you nod, your eyes falling down on the leg in his lap. then, you notice the bulge in his pants. he might not be as angry as you thought after all. you stifle a smirk and decide to sit still and make it easier for him.
the man finally takes off one of your heels, and when you want to set your bare foot on the floor, he keeps it still in his lap. the tiles are cold, he says. he works on the other one, taking his sweet time while you admire the room.
you wonder what it is, and where he is taking you. the room gently sways in your eyes, or it might just be you. whatever it is, you trust him.
"feeling better?" he rubs your red and bruised soles. as comforting as it feels, you have to remove them before you drip through your dress and on the bench.
no man was ever this gentle and caring with you. yeosang doesn't even have that kind of relationship with you, and he is already way ahead of all the men you've ever been with. you might've just hit the jackpot with him. spending your life on this ship alone with him doesn't seem like the worst way to live.
"yes, better. thank you, yeosang. you're very sweet. who taught you how to be a gentleman?"
"my sister. that dumbass." he scoffs.
he then proceeds describing how he learned from her horrible boyfriends. they were always selfish, and she always felt alone even when she was in a relationship. she mostly felt used, ignored, and a second choice. yeosang would witness them coming home, doing the deed, then leaving because they had plans with the boys. she cried often, and even though she always slammed the door in yeosang's face whenever he wanted to comfort her, she was grateful that he won't grow up to be like them.
"your sister sounds nice. i've only had asshole brothers."
"well, none of them are in our way now. my sister won't suffer for another nine hundred years, and you won't see your asshole brothers for the rest of your life."
you continue rambling about how strict your father always was, how your mother only listened and rarely ever defended you against his accusations and your brothers' bullying, and how you had to hide every relationship and never got to enjoy them properly. although, now that you think about it, you had the same experience as his sister. you are glad not to be stuck with someone like them.
"now, wear this for me. there's a changing room right there. and don't ask. i promise, it will be worth it."
you feel like a child after coming out of the dressing room, standing up when he tells you, turning around and facing a certain direction. you both wear tight black clothes, and he checks the screen every now and then. once he makes sure that you are wearing the clothes properly, he opens one of the lockers.
"no." your jaw drops in disbelief.
"yes." he says, happily pulling out an astronaut suit.
"yeosang, that- is that safe? i mean, you're not thinking about leaving the ship, are you? this is just dress up, isn't it?" you ramble.
"it is perfectly safe. you told me once to trust you. now, it's your turn to trust me. why do you get to show me the cool stuff around here, but i don't get to do that for you?"
"yes, but... this is outside the ship. it's open space!"
yeosang helps you put the suit on, despite your ranting. you hold onto his shoulders while you put your legs in the boot part of the suit, then your arms until yeosang zips it up. it feels like you already have dozens of layers on you. he stifles a chuckle, and you squint at him.
"what is it?"
"you look like a penguin."
"yeah, well, so do you."
"i know. you just look cute."
he turns around to grab the gloves and helmet, leaving you to blush by yourself while he finishes zipping himself up. he brought back the fear you had forgotten about; fear of the unknown and stranded. at least if something happens, you are not alone.
"head up." you do so, and he connects an oxygen and communication system to the suit, then rolls up the collar of the undersuit so that it protects your neck and head, leaving only your face visible. "good girl."
"you need to stop saying that." you blurt out.
"and you need to stop teasing me every few minutes. there is only so much i can take."
"you're the one to talk! you always-"
"hey." his hand grabs your jaw, turning your head to look at him and stopping your complaining. "behave. or else."
"or else...?" you whisper, the prosecco still pulling the worst in you.
he leans in, noses almost touching and lips close enough to feel his warmth on yours. he looks into your eyes, then down at your lips, still holding your jaw in his hand. "or else i might just have to tame you somehow."
you gulp audibly. he smirks at that, then lets go of you and proceeds to put your helmet on. you feel frustrated. he is playing your game, and he is winning. you are supposed to make him blush and stutter, not the other way around.
"there, all fixed. can you breathe?"
"yes."
"can you hear me?"
"duh."
"through the system, dummy." he laughs, tapping on the wire that connects inside the suit.
"ah, yes. i can."
"good. i hope you don't have to pee."
"don't remind me of that! i had half a bottle of prosecco and am wearing like a hundred layers."
"good. no more pee talk. let's do this."
yeosang slides the card on the door, and enters the small space. when it closes, the space fills with smoke and lots of lights start going off and on.
"pressure stabilized."
"thank you!" he yells, playful smile dancing on his lips.
with a frown, you hit his arm for mocking you. he gently nudges you, as if pushing you away. you both know that if he wanted to, he could've pushed you way harder. and it makes you a little horny.
just in time, yeosang slides the card near the other door, then puts the card safely in the suit pocket and zips it. the round door opens, sliding up and revealing the dark void. instinctively, you grab his hand with two of yours. clinging to him like a sloth, you stand on the edge of the spaceship and look down. it strange that when you step over the threshold, no gravity will pull you down.
"wait!" you stop him before he steps over. "have you done this already?"
"uh... yes? i mean, i didn't go far or stay long. i think i hung for a few seconds from that handle and rushed back in. was scared shitless, honestly."
"you fool!" you hit him again, multiple times.
"ow! hey, what, what?!"
"you went to test it alone? you could've- you could've injured yourself! or worse! something could've gone wrong, and i would be all alone again!"
"you didn't think i'd bring you here before seeing if it's safe, did you? what if only one of us survived, the other would have to live with that guilt until the end of their life." he explains, holding you by your shoulders and gently shaking you as he speaks. "i know we've known each other only for a little over a month now, but i'd never do that to you. we only have each other, and i'd never do anything to leave you alone on this thing. i promise."
"promise?" your bottom lip quivers.
he sighs, closing his eyes and leaning his helmet against yours, as if leaning his forehead. "i promise."
"i believe you."
"good. otherwise, this would be a very bad idea."
with that, he pulls you over the edge, holding onto the handle on the outer surface of the ship. you squeal, legs wiggling in the unknown and arms firmly wrapped around his free one. he holds you close, not yet moving until he is sure that everything looks fine.
"i'll let go now, alright?"
"what if we drift away?"
"we won't, i tied us up to the ship. we can get back whenever we want."
you give yeosang only a few minutes of silence, before bombarding him with questions again. he answers every single one he knows, assuring you that he has everything under control. using the moment when you are focused on something on your space suit, he slowly lets go of the handle. as soon as you feel yourself drifting away, you glue yourself to his side, even going so far to wrap your legs around his.
"y/n, you'll have to let me go. i can't move like this."
"i'm scared."
"you want to go back?"
"no."
"then," he peels you away from himself, instead holding your hand properly in his. "let go."
you now float in the void, holding his hand and admiring the ship from the outside.
"you're looking the wrong way, doll. turn around."
due to the strange and spine-chilling situation you are in, you miss his little nickname directed at you. with his help, you slowly turn your back to the ship, and focus on the newfound space.
"look, down there." he points to the side.
"oh my god!" you exclaim, fear and excitement mixing inside of you. "what is that?!"
it is a bright, giant cloud of shiny dust. it has a light pink hue and a faded purple in the center. 
"it's a nebula." he simply says.
"aren't they more colorful? i mean... that's just looks like a space cloud. it's nothing like the photos they send to us."
"ah, those images are taken with long exposure to capture all the lights, and edited later. our eyes cannot process all of those colours, so they sometimes add them on later."
"oh. well, nevertheless, it is stunning. it looks so glorious. i want to touch it."
"no, y/n, you can't touch the remains of a dead star."
"but why not?" you play along, acting like the spoiled child.
both of you laugh, holding onto each other and staring at the beauty of this frightening place.
"how did they calculate the trajectory? what if they missed some asteroid or something?"
"please don't talk about asteroids while we pathetically hang from a space ship in the void. i beg."
"sorry," you smile sheepishly.
"had enough? want to go back?" he asks, checking on your suit.
"not yet."
"want to go a bit furth-"
a snap interrupts him, coming from the ship. before you can look that way, yeosang pushes you away from him just in time, and you scream. a white object passes between the two of you, close enough to hit you. another snap is heard, then another. you finally look at the ship, right before more objects start flying at you. one of the smaller debris hits you, right in the helmet, sending your body further away. a few moments of silence pass, both you and yeosang going through shock. until you hear slight wheezing, and feel cool air on your face.
one of the boards on the surface on the ship must've come loose and broke into pieces. you gasp, body and soul reaching for the man now far away from you.
"i'm coming!" he man yells, panicked. but the communication starts glitching. it cuts off his words, and soon enough, you can't hear him anymore.
the air becomes harder to breathe, and lack of oxygen could kill you, if fear doesn't do it first. your vision becomes spotty, and yeosang's figure slowly starts blending in with the nebula behind him. you try covering the crack with your hand, and it helps for a short amount of time. you accidentally apply more pressure on it, causing the helmet to further break and wheezing intensify. the system begins to go crazy, sending you signals and urging you to get back on the ship. dozens of beeping noises, red lights and whatnot going off in your suit, yet all you can focus on is yeosang's failed attempts to reach you.
"yeosang..." you call, hoping he might answer.
but he doesn't, instead working with his arms and legs to get to you.
"keep... eyes... open... please..." his voice echoes inside the helmet, broken and mixed with robotic sounds. "take... hand... try... reach..."
"i can't," you breathe out, eyes closing. it is the last thing he hears from you.
"no!"
your vision blackens, and you stop the squirming, instead letting your body in the control of the cosmos. maybe that's how it was supposed to be from the beginning. no escaping doomsday, no ships, no wandering in the void, no claiming other planets. maybe humans were supposed to be the ones with limited knowledge. they weren't meant to go this far. or maybe the human race is simply that insignificant, compared to everything else. just a small, useless percent among the stars. the universe will stand, and continue being terrifyingly beautiful and endless, with or without us.
it feels like the right way to go. a punishment, for escaping your fate and leaving others to die a terrible death.
"i'm sorry, i'm so sorry, god i'm so sorry."
you couldn't have known, yeosang.
"i should've known, i should've stayed inside."
there was no way for you to know, yeosang.
"i should've died the first time i went, so you know not to do that."
don't speak such things, yeosang. maybe it was meant to be this way from the beginning.
"you don't deserve this, i do."
if you knew what i did, you would know that nobody deserves this like i do.
"please don't die on me, please. what do i do without you?"
you'll make it. you'll just have to do what i did. but you'll hate yourself for the rest of your life.
"none of it makes sense without you."
you'll hate yourself every time you look at their face. like i hate myself when i look at you.
"i- i think i love you. i don't think i'll make it without you."
i wish i could say it back without the guilt eating up my heart. i wish i could say all of this out loud to you, and not in my head. and yes, you will make it, yeosang.
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kang yeosang hasn't eaten in days. the restaurant remains empty, as does the gym, and the discovered library, although with a few empty shelves. he sits on the cold floor of the emergency room, books scattered around him and one nestled in his hand.
"it is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. however little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters." he reads, voice raspy and tired.
there is a pile to his right, and a smaller one to his left. he reads from morning to night, even though the stars and moons do not show it. he sits there, reading page after page, all to you who lay on the bed in the middle. he lowers the book after a while, glancing at your sleeping body.
"you know, if you've already read pride & prejudice, i can skip it. now that i think of it, you might've already read everything i read to you these days. sorry. must be torture."
already used to not getting replies from you, he sets the book down with a sigh. he folds the corner of the page, marking where he stopped reading. if you were awake, a poke to his forehead would be guaranteed, if not worse. he laughs, remembering the first time you discovered he did that.
"i'm sorry, are you ill? what the hell are you doing to my books?!"
"first of all, they're not yours. second, it's just a book. and third, to answer your question: i'm folding the corner."
"my lord, i have just lost all my respect for you. please exit my chambers."
"gosh, stop reading game of thrones already. if i get called lord one more time, i'm jumping into the nearest black hole."
"i am the queen of the ship, i do as i wish."
"and what does that make me?"
"you can be my queen hand."
"not your king consort?"
"ha! you wish. your house and blood is no match for mine, yeosang of house kang."
"whatever you say, your grace."
yeosang had forgotten about his own room. he hung out with you all day, and slept in the bed opposite to yours. for the first time in a while, he didn't think about what's outside, and what fate awaits him. he enjoyed the moment, enjoyed making you laugh and pissed. he loved how you could switch from giggly to angry in a split second, only from him tickling you too much.
now? he can tickle you as much as he wants, but you won't budge. you breathe, but you don't show any other signs of consciousness. he has raided every room there is, looking for any medical help in any form. he asked ryan, though he should've known better than that. i am not programmed for that kind of procedure, sir. yeosang already knew that sentence before it was said. it took everything in him to not smack the robot, but he heard your voice in the back of his head, defending the soulless thing.
he stands up, setting the book aside on the pile that is waiting to be read. he approaches the circular table, where he has laid you, stripped you of the heavy spacesuit and only left the first layer of tight clothes, then covered you with a light blanket. he managed to connect a few tubes to your body, following the instructions on the screen above the table. he can now see your vitals, he just doesn't know what to do with it. he relies on the ai, hoping it is right.
"if you do not wake up soon, my queen, i will take your throne," he jokes, tapping a damp cloth on your forehead. "then what will you do?"
he unbuttons his silk sleep shirt and stays in his white tank top, suddenly feeling hot inside the room. he folds it on the table next to your head, and pushes the hair out of your face. the system beeps above his head, showing increased heartrate. he looks down at you, searching for any sign of consciousness other than breathing.
"can you hear me?"
your heartrate goes back to normal, dimming yeosang's hope. he finishes wiping the sweat off your forehead and neck, then gently squeezes your hand before sitting back on the floor and resuming his reading.
when he wakes up, he finds himself in his own room. how he got there, he could not recall. but he left your side, after he promised himself to not do that ever again. almost jumping out of bed, the man dashes down the halls, the shiny card in his hand still holding your lipstick stain as he presses it against the various door sensors. he reaches the emergency room in record time, and his heart almost stops. you aren't there.
the tubes once attached to your body now lie on the floor, and the blanket is neatly folded on the table. his sleep shirt is gone, along with the book he wasn't done reading to you. hands hurriedly rubbing his eyes, yeosang fails to process what happened. he rushes through the rest of the ship, searching every nook and cranny in hopes of seeing your face. even going to the place he has been avoiding for the past few days. the spacesuits and helmets still lay on the floor, forgotten. the cracked one delivers a pang to the blonde man's heart, a painful reminder of his careless acts and their consequences.
hopeless, he reaches one final spot. the cockpit.
he had promised you not to go there without you, and the other way around. both of you were waiting for a perfect opportunity, when both of you are sober and wide awake. that never happened.
yeosang breaks his promise, holding the card to the sensor. the doors slide open, revealing the long awaited cockpit. two tall chairs stand side by side, separated by a narrow control panel. in front of the chairs is a wider and more detailed control panel. and above it all, a panoramic window. the ship is flying through a nebula, its vivid colours taking yeosang aback. bright shades of orange, yellow and blue envelop the ship, reflecting in yeosang's wide eyes. 
"you said that the colours are edited on photos. how dare you lie to your queen?"
the man steps back, recognizing your voice.
"y/n?"
"yes?" one of the chairs turns around, and you sit in it. with a smile on your lips, the lost book in your hand, and his sleep shirt hanging from your body. but all he sees is your face.
he exhales, relief washing over his body like never before. not able to control himself, he rushes towards you, picking you up from the chair and enveloping you in his arms. the book falls to the floor, your arms flying to return the hug. it never felt as right as now.
"gosh, how did you get here by yourself? are you hurt?" he sets you on the floor, cupping your face in his big palms. "are you alright?"
"i'm fine. a little dizzy."
"i thought i lost you."
not able to stop himself, yeosang presses his lips against your forehead. he stays there, inhaling your scent and listening to your breathing. your hands slide down from his neck and find their place on his chest, feeling his heartbeat under your palm. it beats fast, almost matching yours. he pulls away, resting his forehead against yours properly this time, not through a helmet.
"how dare you leave me alone?"
"is that a way to speak to your queen?"
he chuckles at your jokes, even in such moments. he should get used to it by now. his thumbs rub your cheekbones, soothing you and making whatever worry you had left perish. you can't help the tears that prickle your eyes when you look at him. his are as red and glossy, and it takes you over the edge.
you climb on your toes, properly reaching his face. his heart beats faster under your palm, as if threatening to jump out. slowly, and with a bit of hesitation, you press your lips against his. it is a mere two second kiss, before you pull away. you search his face for any emotions; disapproval, disgust, discomfort. yet none of those are present.
he has his eyes shut, still taking in the kiss. you want to pull away, to give him space. but his hands slide down to your waist, pressing your body against his. he leans in again, capturing your lips with his. his kiss is an opposite to yours: confident and sure. he pecks your lips once, twice, again and again, until you finally relax in his arms and let your hands roam his body. fingers finding comfort in his blonde locks, and body pressed firmly against his, you kiss him like it's your last.
his grip intensifies, his fingers buried into your sides as yours gently pull on his hair. he picks you up, only to set you back into the chair you've been sitting in all this time. he easily finds the button to lower the backrest and turn it into a temporary bed, then climbs on it with you. his lips are hungry for yours, and even though you could use a moment of breathing, you do not stop him. allowing yourself another moment of bravery, you gently lick his bottom lip, asking to deepen the kiss. and the man listens. he opens his lips, tongue in search for yours while your hands play with the collar of his tank top on his back. you slide one hand underneath, feeling his hot skin on yours.
gently, yeosang grazes your tongue with his, and you taste salty liquid on his lips. tears fall down both your faces, drops rolling down your cheeks and mixing in your mouths with the kiss. it is emotional, passionate, and intimate in every way. he pulls away for a split second, only to take a breath and look at you.
his chest rises and falls heavily, and his lips are plump and a deep pink. his hair is ruffled, your doing. he already looks breathtaking.
"is that... my sleep shirt?" he finally notices.
"oh, yeah. i was feeling a bit chilly, i borrowed it. want it back?"
"no, you can- oh."
you sit up, enough to let the white silk material slide off your skin and pool on the chair. you had stripped yourself from the tight undergarments yeosang had left you in, instead wearing a white bralette and matching lace panties. from the size of his sleep shirt, he didn't even notice that you weren't wearing the short bottoms you usually do.
the white has never complimented your skin as beautifully as today, right in this moment. yeosang can't help but remove your hair from your chest and neck, letting it fall back and exposing your body to him. you let him, taking your time in examining him as well. he runs his knuckles down your wet cheek, wiping the tears that decorate your face, and continues down your neck. his forefinger takes the lead, caressing your collarbones and making a path between your breasts.
you take his hand, guiding it to the outline of your panties. his breath seems to stop for a moment, but a gentle smile on your lips assures him that everything is alright. he groans, slamming his lips back on yours, this time sloppier and rougher. noses brushing against each other, teeth clashing, and hands hurriedly getting rid of clothes, it is all you've needed all this time.
him, all of him.
a thin layer of sweat coats his body, making his pale skin shine under the lights of the nebula. he peppers kisses along your jawline, down your neck, and settles on your collarbones.
"my queen," he whispers, then runs his tongue along your collarbone.
your fingers play with his damp locks, gently pushing his head towards you and inhaling his scent. he seems to have a fixation on the certain part of your body, because he can't help but mark it with purple spots. you hiss at the sweet pain, and yeosang is quick to lick your fresh wounds, as if apologizing for what he did.
he lingers around the area a bit more, switching between the crook of your neck and the collarbones, until he finally dips his head down to your breasts. a shiver runs down your spine when he cups them, giving them a gentle squeeze before kissing all over them. you tremble under his touch, hips desperately searching his for friction. but he lowers your body back on the chair, limiting your moves.
you forget just how strong he is, and him holding your body in place with a single hand reminds you how much he works on himself, even when his life has completely changed. a gasp escapes your lips as you feel the tip of his hot tongue circling your tense nipple. he catches it between his lips, gently sucking it while his other hand travels down your body. his short nails graze your skin, and you've never felt this sensitive in your life.
he pays attention to every inch of your body, showering it with love and passion, marking your skin as he goes and making you his in every way.
"yeosang-" you choke out, feeling him bite your lower stomach.
"yes?"
"please," you beg, running your nails down his bulk arms and shoulders.
"patience, love. you'll get where you want to. what's the rush? we have our own eternity."
the way he speaks in a hoarse voice has you seeing imaginary stars beside the real ones out the window. he pulls away from your body, just enough to plant a kiss on your damp forehead. he pulls you in for a kiss again, sighs of pleasure leaving both your mouths as you kiss and feel each other. his bare body finally leans against yours completely, and you instinctively spread your legs. his arm hooks under your knee, bending it over and caressing your thigh in the process.
"you're everything i've ever wished for." he whispers between kisses. "i just failed to see it. it took me losing you to understand that."
"yeosang..." his name rolls of your lips so sweetly in a light moan.
"i'm so sorry for what i did."
"don't apologize."
"i will. you almost died because of me."
"don't speak of that now," you hush him with another kiss.
he listens, putting his other hand on your other leg and gently spreading them. he falls to his knees, hands still firmly planted on your thighs. you try pushing them together, instinctively, but you should've known better than that. they stay in place under his grip, exposing your glistening core to his hungry eyes. it's almost like he can see the colorful dust cloud down there, the layer of arousal mimicking his sweat and reflecting the blue of the sky.
yeosang isn't in a rush, unlike you. your hand pathetically grips his hair, pushing his head towards your pulsating and burning core. he chuckles between your legs, cool air hitting your clit from the proximity.
"please?"
"what do you beg for, pretty?"
"don't tease me, i've waited long enough. please, yeosang."
"oh, but i've waited long too. and now that i am here, i want to take my sweet time. i want to devour you, feel all of you, to mould you so that you fit perfectly in my hands. i want to make love to you among the stars, and i want to make you feel like a real queen of the skies."
it's like he fell out of a book. he knows all the right words, all the right gestures, and all the right touches. his tongue dips between your folds, plush lips following and lazily caressing your clit. your fingers tighten their grip in his hair, and your other hand digs its nails into his shoulder for support. settling for soft and gentle licks, yeosang truly takes his time with you. he makes out with your folds, as if they're your real lips, sucking on them, grazing them with his teeth and kissing along your clit. you squirm under his painfully slow moves, grinding your hips on his face in hopes of getting more friction.
tired of your disobedience and impatience, yeosang places your legs over his shoulders, burying his head further into your core and switching to rougher moves. lewd noises escape your lips, and you do not try to conceal them. he should know what effect he has on you.
he slurps up your nectar, coating his lips in shiny fluid and enjoys your core essence. he eats you like a starved man, not bothering to take a proper breath. he sucks harshly on your clit, drawing moans and gasps from you. when he pulls away, his cheeks are flushed, and his lips plump and glistening with your arousal. a thin string of saliva connects his mouth to your core, and you almost black out at the sight. you pull him by his hair, crashing your lips on his again. you taste yourself on his tongue, and even though you never liked reading about it or seeing it, it is something that you were truly missing out on.
you nudge him, asking him to switch positions. he smiles into the kiss, but turns you over so effortlessly. he is now the one laying down, and you are the one to break the kiss and get on your knees. you see him clearly for the first time. you decide to give him a taste of his own medicine, by taking it slow and teasing him. you kiss his thighs, ignore his aching area, and continue kissing his lower stomach. he can't help but reach for your hair, softly caressing it as you try your hardest to hold back, but seeing that he doesn't mind the delay, but rather enjoys it, you stop the teasing.
 your tongue doesn't hesitate to lick a stripe up his hardened cock, circling around his tip and collecting the precum. he hums with pleasure, but doesn't close his eyes. he wouldn't miss this for anything. you take his red tip between your lips, slowly pushing until you almost touch his stomach. he twitches inside your hot mouth, the tip caressing the back of your throat and making your eyes tear up. finally, crying for a different reason.
unlike you, he doesn't buck his hips to speed up your moves. he is perfectly obedient, petting your head and muttering words of praise.
"that's a good girl," he whispers.
you bob your head up and down, testing the waters. he only sighs and hums, not yet moaning. your impatience wins again, your body eager to extract more dramatic sounds from him. you pull away from him, but not without a teasing kiss to his tip, before climbing into his lap.
"how do you want it, my queen?" he cups your face, and you're quick to nuzzle your cheek against his warm palm.
"i want it just like this. me on top."
"oh? didn't take you for one to be on top."
"i'll surprise you with so many things, kang yeosang. you just wait."
"that's my girl."
driven by pure lust and euphoria, you do not care about protection, or the aftermath. you simply raise your hips and align his cock with your clenching hole, then slide down on it. he slides in, inch by inch, deliciously stretching you and filling you to the brim. when you finally sit on it, both of you moan out, hands reaching for each other. his hands help you roll your hips, while your hands feel his torso and chest. you move, slowly, just the way he likes it.
the moans and sighs leaving his lips are the prettiest sounds you've ever heard. you stay silent, wanting to hear more of him. his eyes are fixed at the point where both of you are connected, pupils dilated as he watches your wet hole swallow him whole. the room is filled with squelching noises, the creaking of the chair, passionate kissing here and there, and neverending exclamations of pleasure.
you find yourself whining for release pretty quickly, the buildup already more intense than any of your previous orgasms. yeosang seems to be reaching his end as well, seeing his head hanging from the chair and exposing his pretty neck to you. you can't help but snake your hands up his torso, fingers finding the key pressure on his neck and gently pressing. he chokes out with surprise, sending you a single glance of pure ecstasy before letting his head fall back again.
the dried tears on his glowing face look majestic, along with his eyes rolled back and his hair a mess. he looks glorious under you, especially as his moans get more high pitched and needy. you feel yourself becoming tired, but you love the position too much to change.
"come on, love. fuck yourself dumb on my cock."
such vulgar words from such an angelic face make your insides quiver. it gives you a boost of energy, and you quicken your pace and bounce just like he told you to. he doesn't break eye contact with you, nor does he let you do all the work. his hips meet yours, reaching deeper inside and making you finally moan out loud. he sits up straight, pulling you close to him and holding your body in place so he can collide his hips with yours quicker and with more accuracy. you are a drooling mess, forehead pressed against his as you shamelessly moan into his lips.
"come on, angel. milk me dry like the good girl you are."
your walls squeeze around him, moans becoming whines and mewls.
"fuck, love- i'm going to fill you up-" he grunts, lips desperately chasing yours.
but both of you are too lust driven to kiss properly, so you settle for moaning into each others mouth and bite each others lips, all while chasing the sweet pleasure.
"my love..." he moans.
"yes-" you choke out, feeling the buildup getting ready to errupt.
"my fate..." he grabs your face, forcing you to look into his eyes.
"yeosang-" you sob, pathetically grinding your hips on his.
"my queen of cosmos."
the orgasm tears through you, erupting in your lower stomach and spreading to the edges of your body. warm liquid shoots inside you, and yeosang keeps rocking his hips to the point where he has your eyes rolled back and jaw dropped, no sound exiting your mouth. your nails leave marks on his back, shoulder and neck, just like your lips do on his. you bite down on his bottom lip, accidentally making it bleed. he hisses at the pain, but doesn't forget to help you ride out your orgasm. your moans bounce off the walls of the cockpit, filling yeosang's ears like heavenly music.
the man doesn't seem to get enough of you, because he lays you on your back and slides back inside you. you don't protest, instead relaxing your body and throwing you head back, much like he did. you let him praise you, use you, worship you. you could never handle more than one orgasm, yet kang yeosang has you moaning on the third one already. by the fourth one, you feel like you're drunk or on some kind of substances.
the vivid colours of the nebula never stop, dancing with each other and illuminating your bodies. yeosang kisses you, over and over, whispering sweet things into your ear and asking if you're good. you don't reply with words, but with a kiss to his forehead, nose, lips, whatever you could.
yeosang makes love to you until the ship swims out of the dust cloud, revealing the void littered with millions of glimmering dots once again. you've stopped counting after five, and let yourself go in his arms. maybe this was your fate after all.
or maybe you were kept alive just to confess to your wrongdoings to the man that has proclaimed his love to you. maybe your punishment is his kindness towards you, when you know you don't deserve it.
"i love you."
"i love you too, yeosang." you say it back, guilt still eating up your heart like the first time he said it, unaware that you could hear him.
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the blonde haired man didn't have to try hard to get used to waking up beside you. it was his favorite part of the day for months now: waking up to your kisses, or the other way around. having breakfast together, going to the gym, then showering together. perhaps it was repetitive, but to yeosang, it was everything.
today, however, he woke up way before you. he has raided the luggage room, and created a mess until he found what he was looking for. you did your usual routines alone today, with yeosang busying himself with something else all day.
"i'd like to finish that book today, if you don't mind? i'll see you for dinner tonight."
"alright then. i'll miss you." you pout.
"i'll see you in a few hours, darling. fancy dress code?"
"sure! we haven't done that in a while. i can't wait."
and that's how yeosang found himself in the restaurant, spending two hours decorating the place with ryan's help.
"is the rose too much, ryan?"
"depends on the occasion, sir."
"let's say... proposal."
"i believe it is too little, sir."
"yeah, well, unless you can shit out a rose right here, i don't have much choice. i stole this one from the little terrarium in the lobby."
ryan doesn't respond, in his true robot style. yeosang sighs, lighting the candle on the table. you should be here any minute now.
"maybe i should've done it in the big terrarium." he overthinks.
"if i may, sir, the hibernation room would also be a meaningful place."
yeosang raises an eyebrow, amused. "hibernation room?"
"it's what started your new fate."
"ah, the broken pods. i guess i have to visit the engineers on board once, to thank them for that malfunction."
"oh, no need sir. you can thank miss y/n."
yeosang stops arranging the cutlery, looking at the humanoid robot. "what do you mean?"
"well, she is the one behind the malfunction. at least behind yours. so she is the one to thank."
"what?"
"oh, i thought you knew. apologies sir-"
"explain." he walks towards ryan, brows furrowed and hand fidgeting with the jewelry box in his pocket.
"i really shouldn't, sir. apologies, i-"
"you'll tell me," yeosang reaches for a glass of water, ready to pour it over the machine, "right. fucking. now."
"her pod was the only one that malfunctioned. yours was perfectly fine, sir. miss was lonely, and sad. she spent a whole week looking for a perfect match, and found you. she opened your lid, and rushed back to her room."
a crash, similar to the one on the very first day he woke up, echoes through the restaurant. yeosang turns around, finding your startled face looking at him and a broken bottle of wine by your feet.
you don't dare move, afraid of what he'll do. you have no excuse. and no shame.
he slowly steps towards you, causing you to step back. unlike the first day, his face doesn't give away anger. he is calm, and it scares you more. you wish he'd yell, push, throw. yet he doesn't, simply walking into your direction and stopping right in front of you, separated by a broken bottle. he steps in dark red liquid, the ruined shoes being the last thing on his mind.
"yeosang-" you whimper, his still face torturing you.
"don't."
"b-but-"
"do. not."
"you have to understand- i- i was just-"
his hand wraps around your neck, putting light pressure on it. "you took everything from me."
"yeosang, please."
"you do not get to cry. you do not get to feel my pity. you do not get to feel my mercy."
"please, understand me!"
"no!" he drops you on the floor. "i won't fucking understand you! i'd never do such a cruel thing to someone! have you felt no shame every time you looked at me? kissed me? comforted me when i cried about it?!"
pieces of glass tear your palms as you try to stand up, but fail. you sob on the floor, chest hurting from intensity. the glass shards dig into your thighs, and your dress soaks up the wine. you wipe your cheeks with your bloodied hand, accidentally smearing a few red drops on your face.
"here." he throws something in front of you before storming off.
you wail on the floor for what seems like hours. with your knees pressed to your chest, and your head resting on top of your knees, you cry. your dress is soaked with alcohol, tears and snot. you have no dignity left at this point. once you finally start calming down, you notice the plush box that lays discarded on the floor.
it reveals a stunning ring, with a simple stone in the middle. it looks like it was overgrown by vines, and is a rose gold colour. guess you can add it to the box with the broken necklace now. another relationship broken because of you.
days are longer than ever, with you waking up alone and eating alone. that is all you do, besides an occasional visit to the terrarium. when you hear his doors open, you do not dare exit your room until you hear them close. with each day you wake up, you love him more. your body aches for his, and soul yearns for his. maybe if you told him right away in the beginning, this wouldn't have happened. maybe he would've accepted it, he would have more time to understand.
you're a crying mess, from morning to night, until you pass out of exhaustion.
today, you woke up with a hoarse voice and painful chest. you desperately needed to get out the room, no matter if you heard yeosang's door or not. you might faint if you don't leave.
you limp through the hallways, holding onto the walls. you make it all the way until the rotating tube. why was there no other way to get to the other side?
you sit at the edge, head leaning against the stationary wall and legs hanging above the space. you watch the tube rotate, not brave enough to jump in today. but if you don't make it to the terrarium, you might stay here forever.
the doors open behind you, the familiar voice of the system echoing through the tube. you gulp, his scent enveloping you. you expect him to walk away, or simply jump in the zero gravity space and continue his path. but he holds out his hand for you to take.
you look up at him, eyes tired and bloodshot red. he spares you a single glance, before furrowing his eyebrows and looking away. your hand slides into his, as if made with his measurements in mind. he pulls you up slowly, then presses your body close to his. it is as if you were never separated. his vanilla scent fills up your nostrils, and soft breathing soothes you. you hold onto him, like you did when he took you space walking.
he moves through the tube effortlessly, stopping for a while to gaze at the planets below. they are as breathtaking as the previous ones, and the ones to come. yeosang never ceases to be amazed by the beauty of the universe.
upon reaching the other side, you clutch onto him, knowing that this is going to be a rare occasion now. maybe it was just you, but his breath hitches, as if he wants to say something. no sound leaves his pretty lips, not even when you land in the hallway and he helps you find your balance.
"thank you." you whisper.
he stays by your side, eyeing you up and down. "are you alright?"
"uh, yeah. aside from... you know."
he presses the back of his head against your forehead to feel your temperature. "you're a little hot."
a smile creeps on your lips, and you are desperate to make a joke. typical you, making jokes in situations that are serious.
"go on, say it." he sighs, his lips curving up as well.
"no, the moment is gone now."
"want me to repeat it?"
you roll your eyes, then become serious again. he stares at you, an unexplainable emotion on his face. disgust? maybe.
"where are you headed? you should lay down if you're feeling sick."
"terrarium. i need... fresh air."
"i was headed there too."
"oh. sorry, i'll just go somewhere else." you start turning around, and he grabs you by your elbow.
"you don't have to. come here."
before you can protest, yeosang picks you up in his arms, carrying you bridal style once again. while he is focused on the path, you take the time to admire him. he is beautiful. his eyes also seem to be a reddish pink shade, and he has slight bags under his eyes. but before a hope sparks inside your heart, you remind yourself that he does not weep after you. he does it after his family, and after his changed fate.
after the life you stole from him.
"i can hear you thinking."
"sorry."
"stop apologizing."
"okay, sorry."
he looks down at you, amused. "you haven't changed a bit."
"uh... sorry?"
for his own sake, he decides to ignore you. when reaching the terrarium, he sets you down on one of the swings. your head feels lighter already, but your voice stays the same. you aren't used to being this silent, despite being alone for almost a month. you steady yourself, holding onto the chains that hold the plank you call a swing. yeosang stands behind it, putting his hands over yours and gently beginning to push it.
"i understand." he starts.
"you don't have to-"
"no, let me." and you do let him. he lightly pushes you on the swing, taking his time to form sentences. "while you were passed out... i wished for nothing more than for you to wake up. if you didn't, i'd probably do as you did. humans aren't made to live alone, and i never believed it. until i got in this situation. thus, i understand. what i did not understand though, why me? hundreds of men and women in those pods, and you chose me. what made me stick out? what made you come over and open the lid? it's not like there are any personality traits written anywhere. i could've been a douchebag, and you wouldn't have known. then what? would you have gotten rid of me? locked me somewhere?"
"you were simply... angelic." you don't have to think long to give him an answer. you did the thinking before opening his pod.
"angelic?"
"you had this beautiful face, serenity painted on it. true, i did not know anything about you. you could've been short tempered, violent, or worse. after all, i'm a girl. alone, with no protection. yet i took my chances. and you turned out to be perfect. i fell in love with every part of you; with your soul, brain, body. you were my dream partner."
he is speechless. for the first time ever you speak openly about it, and you do not stutter.
"and i wanted to be your dream partner. i tried my hardest to be perfect, but my previous doings kept coming back and haunting me. that night... i wanted to tell you. i truly did. but that stupid robot beat me to it. i mean, seriously, he can't push a few buttons but he can gossip?"
yeosang snorts, then nods in agreement.
"i'm sorry."
"what?" you whip your head around to look at him. "no, i'm the one who should be apologizing. you did nothing wrong!"
"i've been thinking. i apologize for what happened on the space walk. and i apologize for getting violent with you. i just felt... cheated. and stolen from. i felt betrayed. and all that by the person i love with all my being."
"but, yeosang-"
"look, y/n." he walks around the swing and crouches in front of you, stopping your swinging. his hands rest on your knees, thumbs absentmindedly rubbing your skin. "for all we know, they could all be headed to a different type of destruction. maybe they miscalculated. maybe the planet already has life on it, and they see humans as threat. they won't hesitate to exterminate them in order to protect their planet. or maybe it is a higher, more advanced civilization. i don't know about you, but i'd rather live my life on a sized down earth than live to see my own species die out or become slaves to someone else. so, in a way, thank you. for saving me."
"oh, yeosang." you exhale, falling on your knees and into his arms. "i love you. i love you so much."
"i love you too, princess. say..."
"yes?" you pull away, wiping your upcoming tears so they don't fall.
"can you give me my ring back so i can propose? but please act surprised."
you laugh, and he laughs with you. you pull it out from your pocket, and he looks at you with a wider smile.
"i can't believe you had it right here."
"had what?" you shove it into his hand.
"what do you mean? the ri- oh. right." he catches on.
you stand up, pretending to look at the plants while he shuffles behind you. he clears his throat after a while, making you turn around. you fake a shocked expression, putting your hand over your open mouth after seeing him on his knee. the box is opened, and the ring is as beautiful as the first time you saw it.
"will you marry me, my queen of cosmos? and rule the cosmos with me by your side?"
"i will, my queen hand."
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🌠 𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: first of all, omg a happy ending?? is this a first for barbz? i hope you enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it :)
🌠 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 (𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐚𝐥/𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬)
@kodzukein @woomyteez @mulletdaddyjayjo @bae4choi @haatohwa @marvelahsobx @jxhnnyfav @angellluh @jjaemasung @oddracha @devastateed
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