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creativepawsworld · 1 year

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Everything But You - Part 9

Pairing = Cillian Murphy x OC

Summary = Things are moving forward for Brie and Cillian. Both have some hard decisions to make.

Warnings = Language, Grammar, 90s Cillian, Insults,

Word Count = 3503

Note = We are nearly done...this took a lot longer than I intended but thank you all for sticking with me. I love you all so much.

Tonight, Cillian was going to tell the boys in the band he was leaving. He had decided that after getting the part of ‘Pig’ in the stage show Disco Pigs, he would focus the majority of his spare time rehearsing.

Instead of touring with the band in hopes of achieving a record label.

He had been nervous most of the day. Going over exactly what he wanted to say. After forming lasting friendships with some of the boys, his nerves were justified. He was worried their friendship would simply end.

The year was flying by incredibly fast, we had our first-year, final exams last month. I was apprehensive about receiving the results. I was terrified I had failed them. After not hearing back from Riverdance, I considered that another rejection and my last. I wouldn’t put myself through it again, they simply didn’t want me.

But If I had failed my exams as well, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. I would be lost. My whole life I had been fighting for both and the thought of receiving nothing, scared me.

The only thing I could see going right in my life at this moment was my relationship with Cillian. This was something I never saw coming, he appeared out of the blue, capturing my heart. He was something outside of myself that had my heart beating again.

Cillian was completely unbothered about whether or not he passed the final exam. It was clear law wasn’t for him. I called it the first day we had a class together, he was more interested in getting my attention than he was listening to the lecturer.

The last few weeks he had spent rehearsing his lines and trying to figure out the best way to approach the complex character that was Darren, aka Pig. I had never seen Cillian so engrossed in something before, not even when he was writing songs or performing on stage. This was different, this was his true passion.

The first show was in Dublin Theatre in 8 weeks. Cillian had two weeks to get his affairs in order before having to travel from Cork to Dublin for rehearsals. He had six weeks of on stage rehearsals before finally going public for the first.

He had the option of staying with the other cast members in a house-share type accommodation but decided not to. He liked coming home every night even for 30 minutes just to see me.

“He’s gonna burn a hole in that floor, tell em to sit down.” Paidi, Cillian’s younger brother commented.

Looking towards him he was sprawled out on the small sofa provided for the band’s set to play at the local bars during the week. Tonight was The Son’s of Mr Green Genes' last performance, a fact known to the three of us in this room. The other band members had yet to arrive for their sound check.

I attended Cillian’s house last weekend for Sunday lunch at his mother’s request. After having dinner with my father, his parents felt it was only fair they got to meet the girl, their son had chosen to yield his wild ways.

The lunch went well, meeting his family was much less awkward than it was meeting Andrew's parents. Cillian’s family were welcoming, whereas I always felt judged and not good enough for Andrew's parents.

“Cill, maybe sit down for a bit. You are gonna exhausted yourself before your due on stage.” I agreed standing in front of him, stopping him in his tracks. “They are going to be okay. They will either find someone to replace you both, or everyone will go their separate ways.”

“I just, I feel like I am letting them down.”

“I would rather you let down everyone in this room and outside it before letting yourself down Cillian.” I smiled placing my hands on either side of his upper arms and rubbing them.

“Beautiful and smart.” Cillian grinned down at me, leaning down to capture my lips in a short, sweet kiss. Only pulling away at the sounds of his brother’s gag reflex.

“CILLIAN YOU'RE NEVER GONNA BELIEVE IT.” Casey’s voice suddenly took over the room.

Stepping away from him I allowed the blonde man to step in, replacing my hands on Cillian’s upper arms. He had one of the biggest smiles I had ever seen. I was used to him constantly scowling, especially when I was around.

“Acid Kazz is outside and wants to speak to you, man. They are willing to offer a five-album contract record deal if we hit all the right notes tonight.” Casey continued.

My jaw fell open much like Cillian’s, the two of us staring at his friend. I wasn’t sure if this was some kind of joke or if life was playing a cruel prank on Cillian. Forcing him to make what I considered an impossible decision.

“Go, go talk to them, man. I swear it’s real. We fucking did it. Finally.” Casey beamed, and with a large smile, he started placing open-hand slaps against Cillian’s chest and back, forcing him out the door and towards whoever was on the other side waiting to talk to him.

“Congratulations, that’s great news for the band. You must be dancing on air right now.” I smiled shoving my hands into the front pockets of my jeans. I was unsure of what else to do with them.

“Yeah, it's amazing. Sucks for you though. Cill will be too busy with the band now to spend any time with you.” Casey shrugged off, turning his back to me and taking his bass out of its case.

Glancing over towards Paidi he shook his head at the bassist before rolling his eyes playfully at me. Being the youngest in the band, no one took him seriously. They just considered him Cillian’s younger brother, easily replaceable if need be.

“Right...” I trailed off not bothering to respond to the blonde. “Great news for you too, but what are you going to do about school?” I asked Paidi who sighed with a slight shake of his head.

“Ma will never let me skip out until I finish so I don’t know. Probably have to leave it all behind.”

“I’m sure you will be missed.” I smiled softly. Much like Cillian, Paidi loved music, he came alive on stage. You could see it in the way his fingers moved along the neck of the guitar or the smile he sent to the crowd every so often.

“Yeah, but we can find someone to replace you man don’t worry. I met this guy at the bar the other night, he is pretty good.” Casey replied bluntly.

“Gee thanks, man.” Paidi scoffed. Bringing one hand up to his other, he rubbed along his bicep, hurt evident behind his eyes.

“I am sure Paidi can at least record one album with you. He was a member when the record label found you after all.” I explained, trying my best not to glare at the older of the two boys. “He will be available after school and most of the summer.”

“No offence Brianna, but that’s not how bands work. I don’t need a part-time guitarist. It’s been holding us back. The only reason he is in the band is because of Cillian.”

“Excuse you?” I gasped wide-eyed at the complete audacity this man was showing. I heard of people getting too big for their boots when the prospect of success was in the future but this was ridiculous.

“Well he is a good guitar player, not bad on the piano either but he is just a kid. We are going to the big leagues now.”

“You haven’t even got the contract and already you think you're going to go places?” I laughed not quite believing the man standing in front of me.

“Like I said you haven’t a clue about music. Someone offering you a five-album contract is a pretty big deal. Not like you’ll be around long enough to see that.” Casey snapped, moving forward so he was now standing in front of me. “Cillian will have plenty of women throwing themselves at his feet. You will be nothing more than a distant memory.”

“Now hang on...” Paidi stood up next to me, immediately jumping to my defence.

“I don’t see what he sees in you. Average at best.” Casey continued ignoring the younger of the Murphy brothers. “He should have just left you alone after the first night he slept with you. Sluts like you always land on your feet don’t ya”

“What the fuck is your problem?” Paidi growled shoving the blonde back with a hard push of his hand.

“I’m just telling it how it is. She fucking spread her legs the first chance she got, once a slut always a slut.”

Pulling Paidi away from the man, I fought against the tears threatening to fall. Shaking my head at him I pushed Paidi towards the corner of the room, quietly asking him not to mention any of this to Cillian until later.

“Why? Casey is way out of line Brie, he is a fucking cunt.” Paidi glared over my shoulder.

“He’s not worth it,” I whispered, wiping the few tears that escaped on the sleeve of my jacket. “Look I want Cillian to have a clear perspective going into tonight. If he wants to pursue music great, if not even better but it’s his decision to make. I don’t want anything influencing it”

“He already decided. He is going to the stage show.”

“Right but that was before the offer of a record deal Paidi. Let’s just see what happens. Let’s just forget everything for now.”

*****

Twirling the small red straw in my drink, my mind was miles away. My friends joined me in the main part of the bar. Over the last few months of attending numerous concerts, they found themselves enjoying the music Cillian’s band performed.

“We dreaming of Mr Blue Eyes again.” Billy winked nudging into my side, bringing me back into reality. “He haunts my dreams girl. Those goddamn eyes.”

“They are hypnotic,” Marion commented with a slight nod. She had known Cillian the least but much like the rest of us, felt entranced by his eyes. “Everything okay with you two? You don’t seem yourself?”

“Things with Cillian are great,” I nodded, a small smile pulling at the corner of my lips at the mere mention of his name. “His bandmate on the other hand, not so much.”

“Which one? Who upset our girl?” Billy demanded, slamming his glass onto the bar table. The music from the band drowned out the sharp snap of glass. “I swear if you don’t tell me, I’ll march up on that stage and interrogate each one of them.”

“It’s Casey, the bass player. He’s been against me since Cillian and I got together. He said a few things earlier that just have been playing in my head.”

“Like what?” Aoife asked joining the conversation for the first time. She had disappeared into the bathroom as soon as she sat down, sickness has been plaguing her all week. But being afraid to miss anything, she insisted on coming out tonight.

“The band’s been offered a record deal. Five albums.” I nodded, my eyes not once lifting from the red straw in my glass. “He said Cillian will have women falling at his feet and he would forget all about a slut like me.”

“HE WHAT?” Aoife screeched, gaining only the attention of those standing next to us, or at the near tables. “He actually called you a slut?”

“His words were, sluts like me always land on their feet,” I repeated the words, plaguing my mind for the last hour.

“I’ll fucking kill him”

“Woah wait, wait. What did ole blue eyes say about this?” Billy interrupted holding his hand high into the air, stopping anyone else from speaking until he had finished.

“He doesn’t know.”

“What do you mean he doesn’t know?” Aoife barked back, the anger she was feeling evident on her face.

“I didn’t want him to know. Not until after the performance.”

“Why the fuck would that matter? He can’t talk about you like that? Cillian better not let him off with that” She growled, reaching forward to gulp back a large mouthful of water.

“Because he has enough on his plate at the minute.” I sighed, leaning on the table with my forearms. “The record deal isn’t the only offer Cill’s got. He has been cast as one of the leads in a stage play called Disco Pigs. Guys, he is amazing, honestly. The emotions he can pull from you...he is just brilliant.”

“Someone’s in love.” Billy grinned, placing a gentle hand across my shoulders.

*****

Clapping and screaming, cheers of praise with Billy. Cillian looked over in our direction shooting a wink in our direction which Billy claimed was for him and him alone. The band took one finally bow before heading off stage, Cillian gestured for me to meet him backstage but I declined. Confusing him.

“You gonna tell him?” Billy asked, fanning the sweat from his face. Between the amount of bodies in the bar and the unusual heatwave we were experiencing, it felt like we were standing in an oven.

“Not tonight, I want it to be his night.”

“Why are you so good?” Billy grinned, “Blue eyes better realise how god damn lucky he is having you by his side.”

“I’ll be sure to bring it up a few times.” I laughed. The two of us weaved our way through the crowd, back towards the table. Aoife was holding her head while Marion rubbed at her back. “Ef you okay?”

“Yeah, just need to go home Brie. Sorry.” She groaned, shakily standing to her feet with the help of Marion.

“I’m just gonna run her home. I’ll be back for you Mr don’t be getting into any trouble.” She pointed at Billy with a smirk. “Are you spending the night with Cill?”

“Maybe, I’ll see.” I nodded unsure of what his final decision was going to be. He may have decided to stay with the band, let his acting whim go and if that was the case. I didn’t want to be around Casey, especially not tonight.

Saying our goodbyes to the girls. Billy dragged me around the back alley, claiming he was gagging for a smoke. Just as we rounded the corner we came to an immediate stop, raised voices catching our attention instantly.

“Oh Blue eyes don’t look happy” Billy spoke in a hushed tone. “Looks like someone told him. Who else was in the room with you?”

“Paidi, Cillian’s little brother.” I whispered cautiously stepping forward. Billy gripped onto my arm, almost as if he was hiding behind me, yet pushing me forward at the same time.

“Fuck you! Who do you think are talking to my girl like that?” Cillian raged. I had never seen such an anger in a man before as he squared up to his taller friend.

“She won’t always be around for you Cill. Open your fucking eyes.”

“She supports me much more than you fucking bastards do.”

“How? By setting you up for failure.”

“Not failure success. Because of her I am actually doing something that has made me feel alive.”

“And what’s that? She gives you a good blow job every once in a while and suddenly your the king of the bloody castle.” Casey boosted. Having enough, Cillian’s arm withdrew before coming forward hitting the taller man straight on the jaw, knocking him back on his feet.

“In case you didn’t get the message. I’m done with the band, so fuck you, fuck the record deal and fuck the band.” Cillian spat, holding his two hands up he flipped off Casey who was now leaning against the bar wall holding his jaw.

“All this for some slut? Are you having a fucking laugh?”

“Fucking talk about her like that again and I swear to god I will not be responsible for my actions.”

“That righ...” Casey provoked.

Pulling away from Billy I ran towards Cillian placing my hands firmly against his solid chest. I could feel the anger radiating through him, it felt like he was vibrating beneath my hands.

“He isn’t worth it, hey look at me” I pleaded moving my hands up towards his face, holding him in place. He cast his eyes down to me briefly, his pupils were blown wide with anger. “Look at me, he isn’t worth it.”

“He can’t call you...”

“I’ve been called worse. Leave it.” I smiled softly, gently pushing him back towards Billy who helped me turn his solid body around and away from what I would assume was a former friend now.

“That’s right, go. Throw you career away. Idiot Murphy. You're a fucking idiot.”

“Throwing away nothing mate” Cillian smirked throwing himself around to face the blonde once more. “You record label means jack shit if I don’t sign it. It’s my songs after all. You got fuck all.”

Looking up at Cillian, a smugness was slowly replacing his anger. Glancing over at Casey the realisation of Cillian’s words sunk in. The once cocky blonde, now turned pale white, sickly white.

“Is that true?” I asked looking up at Cillian softly.

“Take that bitch.” Billy yelled with a large smirk. Shaking my head at him I looked up at Cillian, he just held me close. Wrapping his arm around my shoulders we decided to leave the bar, having enough excitement for the night.

*****

A few days after the excitement in the bar I was sitting with Cillian inside his bedroom. He was leaving for his Dublin tomorrow to start the stage rehearsals for his play.

“Are you nervous?” I asked playing with the aglet on my lace of my converse shoe.

“A little” Cillian nodded smiling softly at me. His hand came over cupping the side of my face, his thumb stroking my cheekbone softly. “But I’m making the right decision I can feel it.”

“That’s all that matters then.” I whispered leaning into his touch. “I’m gonna miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too.” Cillian smiled sadly before a mischievous look appeared on his face. “You know the next semester doesn’t start until what late September? You could come with me to Dublin.”

“Your not serious Cillian what am I suppose to do in Dublin?” I laughed softly but Cillian stepped away from me, really thinking, almost like he was trying to put together all the jigsaw pieces in his head.

“Why not? Its only up the road then we can tour together. It’s only in Dublin for a few weeks then I’m back in Cork before moving to Edinburgh. It’ll be a summer you wont forget.”

“Cillian...” I trailed off shaking my head softly this was an insane idea.

“Brie... I love you. I love you alright and I don’t want to be apart from you unless I absolutely have to. You gave me the courage to pursue this dream, come live it with me. It will be you and me.”

My mouth dropped as he mentioned those three words. Three words I’d never expected him to say. Cillian came over to me grabbing my hands in his, holding them up to his chest so I could feel his heart beating wildly in his chest.

“I love you Brianna.”

“I love you to Cillian” I chuckled softly not quite believing what was happening. I wiped the tears away from cheeks, they were happy tears. “I love you so much.”

I took his head into my hands kissing him passionately. I didn’t care if his brother Paidi walked through the door or not, I didn’t care if his mother walked through the door I was happy.

“I’ll come on tour with you but I’m not going home after Edinburgh.” I nodded not knowing how I was going to survive. My savings were okay but not enough to last, I would just have to talk to my dad.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” Cillian asked, fighting off an even bigger smile that threatened to spill onto his face.

“Yeah, it’s not like I am going to Riverdance anytime soon and I always wanted to take a gap year so why the bloody hell not.” I giggled, placing my hands firmly on his chest, ignoring the ringing phone in my pocket.

“Are you really sure?” He asked, eyes squinting down to see if he could detect any sign of lying. Nodding my head, I pulled away from him briefly to check the caller id on my phone. - unknown.

“Nothing will stop me going on tour with you Mr Murphy.” I grinned placing my phone back into my pocket before throwing my arms around his shoulders. Pressing our foreheads tightly together, we stared into each other’s eyes. “I’m letting go of Everything but You”

Taglist

@stars-of-scorpio @lovemissyhoneybee @peakyscillian @cillmequick @forgottenpeakywriter @lyarr24 @brummiereader

#cillian murphy #cillian murphy fanfic #cillian murphy fanfiction #90s cillian murphy #90s cillian #everything but you #part9 #originalcharacter #oc #cillianmurphyxoc

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last-flight-of-fancy · 2 years

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You seem like a good person to ask. Do you have a particular list of longer "Kingdom Hearts" fics or series that you would recommend that have a focus on either the Sea-Salt Trio/Family or the Destiny Trio (or both)? You tend to have a lot of good art and theories here, so I figured you might have some good fic recommendations too. (Self-promotion is absolutely acceptable)

*slams hands on table* my time has come

though as a pre-note i will say that everything i have is at least a few years old, not because i stopped loving fanfic, but bc my specific brand of adhd hyperfixation doesn't allow me to actively read much fic while i'm writing my own.. and anyone who's been following me for a while knows how long i've been working on Stand AU ^^; it sucks but so it goes. i've been trying to catch up before i start my next big AU, but man... adhd brain has not been co-operative -_-

Instinctively Family - Bookwormgal - Kingdom Hearts (Video Games) [Archive of Our Own]

First up is the Instinctive Family series by Bookwormgal, which i've been following for a long time (one of the few i manage to keep up with while working on stand au) and absolutely adore. part one is set during the games and is focused on axel/lea's developing role in roxas and xions lives. it's canon divergent, and part 2 focuses on lea (and isa) learning how to parent a pair of superpowered teenage toddlers while also managing their own boatloads of Trauma. it's a great read and i can't reccommend it enough.

Build a Home | Archive of Our Own

cute sea salt snippets about them building their new home in twilight town

Drops of Blue, Sky of Red - Chapter 1 - spiffyperson - Kingdom Hearts [Archive of Our Own]ks

incomplete, but really fluffy and cute. leaisa with bonus terrqua and of course the various kids doing what nosy kids do best.

From Radiant Garden With Love - BigDykeEnergy - Kingdom Hearts (Video Games) [Archive of Our Own]

a series of postcards sent between leaisa and the kids while leaisa are off on their honeymoon. extremely cute

(also just... everything BigDykeEnergy writes is phenomenal. seriously give their works a scroll)

The Stories We Tell | Archive of Our Own

dealing with axel and saix's past, ranging from radiant garden, through their horribly traumatic time in the organization, and then finally to the found family light at the end of the tunnel.

this one is very heavy, with topics and themes around neurodivergence, ptsd, failing friendships, and mental illness, and as such can be a little rough to get through. i definitely had to take breaks while reading it, but it's a great story if you don't mind a lot of angst before your happy ending.

Love In Every Moment | Archive of Our Own

its been a while since i read this one so the adhd has deleted it from my memory but its in my bookmarks and its tagged sea salt family, so that's a pretty good start i think

Life's Little Lessons - Inarchem - Kingdom Hearts [Archive of Our Own]

modern au! oneshot. isa is a kindergarden teacher and lea is a single dad. isa is his typical ornery self

late night in twilight - rivtco - Kingdom Hearts [Archive of Our Own]

cute little oneshot where axel helps comfort xion after a nightmare

A Grasping Hold - Chapter 1 - Splintered_Star - Kingdom Hearts [Archive of Our Own]

destiny trio and various parents deal with certain ways their journey's have changed them.

and by that i mean things like roxas and namine.

an old one (2013, so it's a post kh2 era fic), but one i still think about fairly regularly tbh.

Sora's Groupchat - Chapter 1 - Dragon_boi - Kingdom Hearts [Archive of Our Own]

i know chat fics can be hit or miss with people but i like this one, it's fun. low-stakes khverse where they're all hanging out at Keyblade School. silly and lighthearted

Stillwater - burymeonpluto - Kingdom Hearts [Archive of Our Own]

less destiny trio and more a kairi introspective character study, but a really good one imo. exploring kairi's feelings and her (very strained) friendship with riku after sora's dissapearance after kh3.

Suppose You Get to Another World - Chapter 1 - illa_dixit, Luxord52 - Multifandom [Archive of Our Own]

incomplete, but a fun read and concept! what if the destiny trio was raised by moogles? also features genderfluid riku and nonbinary sora, and a bunch of worldbuilding with the final fantasy characters

and of course i'm gonna self promo bc im shameless~

StandAU | Archive of Our Own

Stand AU!! my pride and joy <3333 definitely more heart hotel focused than destiny or sea salt focused specifically, but at 500k there's definitely plenty of both of those in there too. slooooow burn sorikai, themes of mental illness, trauma, and most of all healing from it.

all of which somehow sprung from the single prompt of: what if sora's heartmates could manifest themselves like jojo stands?

finally, cometverse

Cometverse | Archive of Our Own

and i'll be real with you, cometverse was both me and orion's first fic writing in decades, so it's a bit rough around the edges in places. but that being said it was written with a whole lot of love and even more hyperfixation, and i still reread parts of it from time to time bc it's just so perfectly self-indulgent to our specific interests.

so what is cometverse?

it's an outside-looking-in OC story where said OC a tendency to adopt every kh kid they come across. and ends up in a throuple with lea and isa. and also there are were-creatures everywhere.

it IS cringe, and we ARE free.

#me poking at tumblr: hey you gonna post this time?#god i hope the links work idk what's up with tumblr rn but it does not like me answering this ask akjfkjfsdjksdf #anyway!! thank you for thinking i have taste omg #i do but also sometimes i don't #i tried to sample a bit from different genre's and tone. yknow. for variety's sake #i had a bunch i would have linked but have updated since i read them last #and i'm not in the business of recc'ing things i haven't read myself yet #hopefully some of these catch your fancy #i was not very thorough going through my bookmarks bc uhhhh... well my bookmarks are kind of a mess tbh #i should fix that at some point (i wont)#flights tag for replies and stuff #fanfic #fanfiction #kingdom hearts #long post

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la---ra · 1 year

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4. Dream-memories

Thursday April 20 2023

***

"No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality; even larks and katydids are supposed, by some, to dream."

Shirley Jackson

“The light of memory, or rather the light that memory lends to things, is the palest light of all. I am not quite sure whether I am dreaming or remembering, whether I have lived my life or dreamed it. Just as dreams do, memory makes me profoundly aware of the unreality, the evanescence of the world, a fleeting image in the moving water.”

Eugene Ionesco

"Waking from a bad dream does not necessarily console you. It can also make you fully aware of the horror you just dreamed and even of the truth residing in that horror."

Bernhard Schlink

***

Recently I have been forgetting if something happened to me in real life or if it was a dream.

I have been mistaking reality with the things that happen inside my head when I am sleeping.

I see my dead grandpa moving around his house in Sed el Baouchrieh, I find myself lost in Beirut’s streets and alleyways, I watch an old movie with my parents and tell my friend about it on the phone, I go to a political discussion about the state of the country, I talk to old friends from high school that I haven’t seen in years, I get into passionate arguments and profound discussions. I relive days that I have previously lived, except everything is different. My throat closes up, my eyes tear up when I inhale tear gas or black smoke. Earthquakes, explosions, floods, war. I see the street where I grew up, radiant, covered with blue sky and sunshine. Mafias, militias, sinister smiles and threats surround me.

All of these things really happened, but didn’t. They exist, but they don’t.

I am trapped inside memories of the past. I struggle to release myself from the burden of remembering. But I can’t escape it, not even when I am sleeping, not even in my dreams.

***

Perhaps it is obvious that memories are similar to dreams: they are, after all, made of the same material. Memories, like dreams, come to us in images more so than words. Or at least, that is how it is for me.

It must have been that way for Walter Benjamin, too, because he came up with a term to describe this process: "thought-images." In his book Berlin Childhood Around 1900, Benjamin writes a series of what he calls “thought images” or “thought figures” — memories of his childhood in the city from which he was exiled. Thought images are pieces of writing in which image and thought cannot be separated. They speak to the imagistic nature of memory: memories come in images, sounds, feeling.

***

About a year after the August 4 explosion, my sister told me that she had a strange dream: she was in our summer house in the mountains and intruders were trying to get in. “I was alone,” she said. “Only Meera was with me. And I could hear them coming in. Then I called Dad, and he told me that he is coming. And then he comes and sits on the sofa in the living room while the intruders are coming in, walking by us.”

I said: “It sounds like your August 4 experience.”

On August 4, Lea was at our house in Beirut alone with Meera, her best friend, while I was at our summer house that she dreamt about. After the explosion, she called our father, who came to the house. I said this to Lea, recalling all the elements that were present in her dream. Our father's behavior in her dream reminded me of something she said when she was telling me what happened to them on that day. After our Dad came home and comforted Lea, he said he wanted to go back to the office at AUB to pick up some things and check the damage. When they were on their way back home from the university, Dad said: “I want to get a manouche, do you want one?” When Lea had recounted this to me, she was laughing at how nonchalant Dad was.

Lea was convinced but amused: “I didn’t even think of that. I don’t think about August 4.”

“It lives in your subconscious,” I told her.

Later that night, Lea told me that she remembered something about her dream that confirmed my theory. In her dream, her friend Fawaz was at the house but left before the intruders tried to break in. And the same thing happened on August 4: her male friend was over at our house and had left right before the explosion happened.

How do we remember things in our dreams? Where are our memories present, how do they reveal themselves?

***

One day, I will write a series of my own dream-memories.

But for now, I will write about just one.

Last summer, I went on a hike with my family in a pine forest. It was hot. The heat seemed to rise up from the dry earth and the towering pine trees above us. The sky was clear and the sun was strong. My aunt and uncle stopped halfway through the hike and went back to the restaurant. They waited there as the rest of us got lost in the pine forest.

The entire time I was there under the burning sun, I was mulling over a dream that I had had the night before – except it seemed not like a dream to me. I would remember or think of it in flashes, it was like the dream came over and took control of me and my facilities. What I'm trying to say is that I did not control the images of the dream or its recollection.

In the dream I received an explanation from someone who had hurt me deeply, one that made me calm down and feel at ease. It clarified things for me. In the dream, I thought, oh that makes sense – and oh, what a relief! So it isn’t all in my head, I thought to my dream-self.

But it is all in my head. When I woke up, I did not realize that it was a dream, and remembered that dream as though it was a memory. Sometimes dreams and memories have the same hazy and blurring feeling and quality, so that they are almost the same. But this was not a memory, it was a dream.

***

Sometimes I wish my dreams were real and that I could disappear into them. I catch a fleeting feeling that my dream was real, that it actually happened. Then I realize that it was not real, that it was just a dream. But I wish that it was real and that I could go back and be inside the dream.

I feel the same way about my memories.

Did things really happen that way?

Nothing feels real when I am remembering it and I am constantly full of doubt. Did it really happen that way?

What I would give to go back.

***

Past events exist, after all, only in memory, which is a form of imagination. The event is real now, but once it’s then, its continuing reality is entirely up to us, dependent on our energy and honesty.

Ursula K Le Guin

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fleurspun · 3 years

Text

The Art of Pretension

summary: You strike a deal with Nikolai to save yourself from a disastrous arranged marriage.

note: fake dating nikolai lol english is not my first language u might see some errors and also you can find this on ao3

word count: 5.8k

When my tutor asked me where I saw myself in ten years, my twelve-year-old self answered something along the lines of pursuing higher education in Ketterdam University and occasionally taking trips to The Grand Palace to annoy Nikolai, a prince of my age whom I was often forced to study with to promote ‘friendly competition’— whatever that meant, about being forever his older brother, Vassily’s shadow.

Ten years later and I don't think I'll be fulfilling the latter any time soon for very unfortunate reasons, including Vassily’s untimely death.

Instead, I'm sitting on a velvet blue chair on the other end of the King’s newly-polished marble table, which felt comically long, by the way. Instead, I abandon my shame and face the boy who I was now obligated to call the Tsar. Instead, I was here in Os Alta to make a proposal. Literally. Because in the next few seconds, I would be asking Nikolai Lantsov, the Tsar of Ravka and the reason for the many wrinkles in my forehead, to...

"Marry me."

I say it with my whole chest as if I was simply barking out orders at a palace servant, "Or, at the very least, pretend like you want to marry me."

We are both rendered speechless by what I had just said, and our silence is as uncomfortable as a sock rolling halfway down a shoe-clad foot.

There’s a subtle look of shock present on his face before quickly schooling it back to something a little more controlled, "Little bossy coming from somebody who wants my hand in marriage, no?"

Huffing, I sink back into the chair, "Pretend hand in marriage."

Silence falls on us again, but this time Nikolai has his brows knitted, trying to figure out why'd I want to do this in the first place. After all, we've spent the better half of our mortal lives in a catfight. It could've been counted as a childhood rivalry, yes, but unfortunately, Nikolai and I are both destructively competitive, much so that what was once a quarrel between 9-year-olds over simple geography and literature became a fight between 22-year-olds (who both have much better things to do) over politics and pride.

It takes a good minute before he gives up, striding across the floor to get to my seat. He sighs, planting a hand in front of me as he leans into the marble, "You've got me again, princess. Go, elaborate."

"Parents want to marry me off to this Fjerdan boy, and he's terribly stupid and arrogant." The words pass through my gritted teeth, "I am a scholar at Ketterdam University, Lantsov. Royalty, at that. I can't get married to a man who lowers the intelligence of the whole room every time he talks."

Nikolai licks his lips, nodding in amusement. He's clearly enjoying the predicament I'm in. Bastard. Chances are, he'd reject the deal just to see how it plays out, "Watching the boy annoy you to your wit's end would be fun—entertaining, even. I'd throw a ball every two weeks just to see how you’re holding up. Perhaps I could learn from him.”

"Ha-ha. You're predictable, Nikolai."

"But also, I have to say, the idea of you being cross at somebody that isn't me is making me a little jealous." He moves forward, tilting the bottom of my chin with the pad of his finger, “I think I should be the only one to see this little scowl of yours.”

What?

I could feel my breath hitch from his comment. "What do you mean?" I stab a finger at his chest. I’m making a move to get out of the seat, hopefully covering the red coming up on my ears, "Look, if you aren't going to take this seriously, I might as well just lea-”

I'm startled when he grabs at my hand to stop me from moving away from him any further, his thumb smoothing over my wrist, "It means I'm interested, darling. What's in it for me?"

Nikolai gently pushes me back down on my seat, and I do the impossible: I oblige, "I hear Ravka’s coffers are nearly empty, and with everything going on, I know you need the money I’m offering you. What’s inside those coffers won't be able to support the people and those little pet projects you have.”

He scowls at the comment, “Huh.”

"If you accept my offer, I’d be willing to fund you. I mean it, every personal project you need the money for. I earn more than what I need and the exchange rate between kruge and Ravkan money is good.” I bite at the bottom of my lip, smiling as if assured he’d take the deal, “You’re smart as a whip, Nikolai. You’d get more benefit out of this than I would.”

His ears seem to have perked up at my last statement, immediately turning his head to meet with my eyes. His expression is melting into something cocky as if telling me he’d already figured me out. “I’m an ethical person, princess.” He shakes his head, sucking on his teeth, “I don't take offers where I get more than the other, and you don't make offers that put you at a disadvantage.”

I scoff, “Oh, my. Is Nikolai Lantsov willing to put morality over coin? Did coming back to court soften you up?” His eyes are boring straight into my soul at every word I spit out, “You’re a privateer, Nikolai. You took what you could get.”

His tone, however kind and sincere it sounded, was filled with stinging poison, “Correct. Privateers took what they could get, but I am a king now, and kings get whatever they desire.”

I cross my legs, smoothing over the wrinkles on my dress, “What’s your point, Nikolai?”

“You obviously have some sort of plan under this fake relationship proposal, and I’m trying to fish it out of you. There isn't any way you’d let me get so much in exchange for so little.” He kicks the leg of my seat so that I’m forced to face him, “So, it’s either we play this stubborn game of ours a little longer, or you just tell me what it is.”

If there was one thing worth noting about Nikolai, apart from his freakishly good looks and his sunlight hair that just has to be styled to perfection, it was that he was observant with anybody and everybody. He had such a keen eye that by the ripe age of 15, he could tell whenever I was lying or hiding something. The catch is? I don't have a tell. Or at least I think I don’t. I once looked him dead straight in the eyes, stating a lie so coherent it could've easily been the truth, and yet, he flashed me his childish, toothy grin, and pointed out my lie.

Not even my own sisters or my own governesses knew how to figure me out, and the fact that Nikolai did never failed to get under my skin.

Slightly on edge, I mask my nervousness with a snarky comment, “Can never get anything past you, can’t I?

“So?”

“My papers are based on the theology of the Ravkan saints. The books I need for research are in the Apparat’s possession, as well as a bunch of scrolls from the palace’s restricted library.” I shrug, “Thought I’d have an easier access if I had a direct relation to you and the palace.”

Clearly pleased with my answer, Nikolai lightly taps on my cheek, the gloves’ leather rough against my skin, “That wasn't so hard, no?”

His gloved hands are stuffed back into the pockets of his coat as he walks back to his own seat, and I hope they sweat so bad that they stain through both his ridiculously expensive gloves and his ridiculously expensive coat. Insolent little peacock.

Nikolai is now clearly evaluating the deal I've given him, judging by the furrowed eyebrows and with constant nibbling of his bottom lip. He’s back in his seat from across the table, bouncing his knee ever so slightly. His actions are making me weirdly anxious even though I was confident he’d strike up the deal, and I imagine I've turned blue, vis-à-vis lack of breathing.

"You’re going to get a deal, but on one condition.” He pauses before his lips curl up into a little Cheshire grin. "You have to say please."

—

Three weeks from now, our first plan would be set in motion. A massive party for the nobilities and the merchants to mingle amongst their pretentious little selves would be held inside the Grand Palace, right in the heart of Ravka. My family, of course, would be invited to see their youngest daughter hanging off the arm of the king.

Very fortunately, I was allowed by the university to take a month-long vacation to Ravka, where I’d settle into a guest’s chambers every night. This new arrangement would ease the other people in the palace into our very fake relationship, however, it would mean that I’d have to spend every waking hour in his presence. That wasn't something I was looking forward to, but it was a sacrifice I was willing to make. However, Nikolai was a king—a tremendously busy one, at that— and it wasn't as if he’d go out of his way to spend time with his pretend girlfriend whom he surely hated: me.

I assume we are in Os Alta from the way my carriage ride goes from rattling to smooth. With this, I packed up the book inside my purse, and opened the carriage curtains to reveal the pinnacle of all gaudy monstrosities Ravkan architecture has birthed, the Grand Palace, and waiting for me in the entrance is Nikolai—

Wait. Huh?

Nikolai?

Why’s he there?

“You gonna get down from there or you want me to carry you out?” Nikolai is leaning against the frame of the carriage door, “Hi, princess.”

I frown, taking his offered hand as I climb out, “What are you doing here?”

“Might come off as a shock, but I actually live here.” He answers, pure sarcasm seething out of his tongue. His other hand moves from behind his back, revealing a bouquet of snowdrops and native Ravkan flowers, all tied between fine strings of twine, “I sure hope you still like snowdrops.”

I take it from his hand. Given his track record, it wasn't all too surprising that Nikolai knew the basics of making bouquets look coherent and appealing, but he didn’t need to know that. He was plenty good in many other things already, “Not really your talent, is it? Flower arrangements?”

“And acting like a besotted little princess certainly isn't yours.” Nikolai pauses, gesturing to the multiple people around us, “A thank you would suffice.”

I look around, facing the palace servants and a few grisha looking at us with clear intent to figure out why the princess of Novyi Zem was here, and I remember that I was here to be his fake girlfriend, and not to annoy Nikolai into ripping out his hair,

“Thank you,” I mumble begrudgingly.

“Thank you… what?” He raises his eyebrows at me, waiting for an endearment.

I try not to throw up in my mouth, “Thank you, solnyshko.” I made a move to walk away into the doors, but I couldn’t get any farther away with Nikolai’s hand gripping on my waist, pulling me right back to him. A small gasp escapes my lips when his hands find their way on the small of my back, tracing circles while my hands are placed flat on his chest to stop myself from crashing into him.

Nikolai lowers his head and presses a kiss on my temple, whispering, “Try not to act so repulsed, princess, disgust doesn’t look that good on you.”

—

It’s been four days and we have not spent a single hour together. Normally, being away from Nikolai was something to be celebrated, but right now, I was his fake girlfriend, and his fake girlfriend did not enjoy the pity stares and gossip she was receiving from the servants and the grisha. Poor, naive princess waiting for the busy king’s attention.

Until now.

Nikolai has invited me to dine with him and his friends tonight, and he seems excited about this, even doing as much as sending a personalized dress and pieces of emerald jewelry to my room. I find myself arriving earlier than what was said in the card, and Nikolai, ever so punctual, is alone on one of the chairs with a bouquet right next to him. He’s deep in thought and tapping his fingers on the table in a song I’m not very familiar with when I arrive. Nikolai shakes sober when he sees me, eyes scanning everything from my head to my toes, “Hi.”

“Well, hello.” I cross my arms, narrowing my eyes at him, “Finally decided to talk to me, have you?”

“You’ve been waiting?” He’s grinning wicked, head lazily propped on his hand, “I know you’ve missed me, princess, but you don’t have to make it so obvious. "

Nikolai doesn’t have to stare to notice that today I’m not in the best mood today.

He earns an eye roll from me when I chuck the bouquet out of his hand, “I miss not being the recipient of all the hot palace gossip, that’s what.” I scrutinize the flowers a little longer, “Good saints, Nikolai, these are wilted. Is this how you treat your lady?”

“Judging by the beautiful gown I had made for her and the jewelry hanging from her neck, I think I treat my lady quite well.” Nikolai gestures to the variety of beverages on the table, “A drink, darling?”

“What are my choices?”

“Yes or no.”

Sighing, I answer, “Whatever you’re having.”

Our conversation is cut short by the doors creaking, entering now are Nikolai’s friends. I’m glad to see familiar faces, namely Zoya and Genya who frequently visit Ketterdam to see me, and apparently some guy who runs the Crow Club downtown. The night is young, and while we eat, Genya makes small talk to entertain the group, “I hear Nikolai’s invited you to stay for the month, leading up to the party. What for?”

Nikolai is quick to answer, “We’re finally making it official to her family.”

Everybody has stopped their movements, either shocked or in the middle of processing the information. Did he not tell them beforehand?

“Official?” Tamar asks.

“We’re dating.”

Genya lifts an eyebrow, inquisitive, “You’ve been packed these last few days, Nikolai. Why didn't you tell us your girl was here? We could have cleared up your schedule!” She turns to me, “I hope he’s been spending enough time with you.”

“Well, he hasn't had the time to talk to me, let alone spend a few moments together.” I answer, plastering an obviously fake smile to get my point across, “But what can we do? Kolya has precious things occupying his day and it’s only unfortunate I’m not included.”

I see from the side of my eye that he’s seething with anger, hiding it under rapid slicing of the knife on his steak. It was only a matter of seconds before he talked, “If you didn't give me a headache every time you opened your mouth, maybe I would have made an effort to actually spend time with you.”

Oh.

I hear gasps from around the table, even from David, who has kept to himself all evening. The utensils dropping on the porcelain plates make screeches and clangs. Zoya is furious, brows furrowed with her tongue biting her cheek and Genya is constantly looking over at me to see how I would react.

I smile. A tight-lipped, tired smile.

Without a second thought, I abruptly get up from my chair. It makes a scandalous little screech that garners the attention of everybody in the room, including Nikolai’s, who is looking at me with a mixed expression of regret and anger.

“I don't wish to make your busy night harder for you, moi tsar. Have a good night, everybody.”

—

It’s deep into the ungodly hours of the night when I hear another knock from my door. I’ve been left to soak up my emotions, namely anger. Exhausted, I think of feigning sleep to let the person realize I wouldn't be getting up soon, but I do the opposite anyway, “A second, please!” I say, slipping on a silk robe.

When I nudge the door open, it reveals Nikolai. Just great. Perfect.

“Can I come in?”

I decide to indulge in pettiness so I don’t say a word, only gesturing with my head.

He settles on leaning on my vanity table, taking a deep breath before softly letting out, “What’s wrong with you?” Nikolai doesn’t wait for an answer, “How are we supposed to be believable if you act like that when somebody even looks at us?”

“Look at us? They barely see us together, Nikolai.”

“They finally saw us together three hours ago and what did you do?” He works his jaw, “The moment you got an opportunity to talk about our arrangement and convince them we’re real, you tell every person with an ear to lend about how your own partner doesn’t give you the time of day.”

Nikolai is off my vanity, walking towards me until I’m forced to take slower steps backward. His breathing is ragged and it’s obvious he’s trying his very best to stop whatever anger is boiling in his blood.

“How am I at fault here? The last time I checked, I wasn’t the one who let their partner have no company at all for four days.” I let a finger jab into his shoulder, “Have you heard the gossip, Nikolai? The servants all think I’m some stupid princess who forced her way into the castle for you to start giving me attention, and you’re making it all too real for them.”

“Tell me, then, smart girl. How was I supposed to react when you told them you think it’s unfortunate you weren’t important enough to occupy my day?”

“You were supposed to act your part as the charming king, telling his lady that he’d take time off for her and coddle her up until she was practically melting in his arms. You’re used to swooning people into taking a bullet for you, so what’s not clicking?”

Nikolai doesn’t say or do anything, instead, he walks closer and closer until my back hits the wall next to the door, eyes boring into me as if I’d committed a terrible crime until his expression breaks into something I was so very familiar with. He’s relaxed his jaw to give way to a forced smile like he’s clearly figured out what to do with me. I’m hoping it isn’t murder.

“You want my attention, princess? Fine.” He plants a hand above my head, he smells of brandy and that one ridiculously expensive perfume he likes so much and it’s overwhelming my senses. Has he been drinking? At this hour? How irresponsible. “Oh, you’ll get my attention alright.”

The way he’s towering over me is enough for my voice to catch on my throat, and I don’t say anything until I manage to get a small croak of, “Good.”

I can see his eyes flickering from mine to my lips before he turns away, reaching for the doorknob, “I’ll have handmaidens here by seven in the morning to prepare you.”

“What for?”

Nikolai sneaks a glance back at me, and the faint ghost of a smirk is on his lips, “You wanted attention, didn’t you?”

—

Right on the chime of the morning bell, about 12 handmaidens enter my room, Genya making her way in last. I see them carrying boxes, which I can only assume are dresses, and my suspicions are proven when they lay them out on the table, revealing gorgeous fabrics of various colors and embellishments. “I saw Nikolai make his way to your room late last night. Must’ve done more than just reconcile if you’re still asleep at this time.” she lifts a brow suggestively, poking at my arm.

“Give me a break, Genya. It’s like seven in the morning.” I groan out, trying to block out the light from the windows, “What’s with all the dresses?”

“The king had them made just for you.” Genya drags me by the arm, “Now, get up, because you have to meet with him in exactly two hours, and Nikolai does not like to wait.”

True to her word, Nikolai was waiting in his private dining hall at nine in the morning, “Hi, pretty. I see you’re wearing the dress I sent you.”

I shrug, taking a seat across from him. The scene is dramatically similar to when we made our deal, and I stifle a laugh at how stupid we must look: begrudgingly sitting across from each other with daggers for eyes, “What are you planning, Nikolai?”

“I’ve taken time off from my kingly duties, and I’m planning to coddle my lady until she practically melts in my arms.” He directly quotes me from last night, sending over a mischievous grin, “Since she wanted the attention so bad, today she’ll find her fill of it.”

He certainly wasn’t lying.

Nikolai’s brought me around the Little Palace, parading me around the most crowded of hallways and courtyards with his hand settled on my waist, squeezing on it ever so lightly when somebody greets us. He tells the trainers he’s in here to overlook how the new training regiment is performing but spends more time planting kisses on my head and fixing my hair than actually looking at his Grishas train. It’s obvious he’s overplaying his role, out of spite or not, but after yesterday, I��m sure I shouldn’t be in any position to complain.

When we are asked to join them for lunch, Nikolai doesn’t hesitate to take them up on their offer, immediately following them onto the dinner hall. Two seats up front are reserved for us, and he pulls my chair closer to his when I sit down, “Princess, how far are you from melting in my arms?”

Near, actually. I’m not the most used to public affection and I’m one forehead kiss away from fainting into the cold, dark earth, but Nikolai didn’t need the satisfaction of knowing he’d put me into such a condition.

“Very far. I feel bad for your future wife if this was your best shot at it.”

He laughs, “You’re damn hard to please, aren’t you? This isn’t enough coddling for you?”

I never liked acknowledging that Nikolai’s smile was pleasant to look at, so I turn away from him when I sip into my glass of kvas, “You did say I was hard to please.”

“Then, I hope this’ll suffice.”

Nikolai pulls me into him and presses a kiss on my mouth, and all of my senses are focusing on him and him only. I can feel him smiling into it, his fingers splayed out on my waist, and perfume’s scent is rendering me weak in my knees.

I try to shake myself sober from the desire to pull him in, instead placing a hand on his chest to push him away lightly. I can see him shift his gaze from me to the crowd of people who are doing a bad job of trying not to stare at us. His eyes are back on me and he subtly licks at his lips, breathing heavy, “You taste like kvas, princess.”

—

Nikolai was a true romantic, and I hated it with all my whole being. I regret ever complaining about how much he didn't take the deal seriously, because I’d sure take that over trying not to burn red every time he showed me some type of attention. He constantly brings me to dinners where he’d lace his fingers with mine, drawing incoherent letters and shapes on my hand while he had small talk with one of his advisors, pulling me away when he wanted to have an early night and brushing away the stray hair on my face when I was busy scribbling off on my notebook. I’d try my best to not flush red, occasionally hiding away to collect whatever was left of my sanity that chipped away at every forehead kiss he’d give me whenever I fixed his hair or his clothes. Butterflies started to burst into my stomach, and every day I do my best to swat them all dead and remind myself that this was an act and nothing more.

Slowly, the things we were only supposed to show in public turned into things we subconsciously did in private, and that terrified me.

I start to seek refuge inside the libraries Nikolai promised me in the deal, avoiding his presence more often than usual. Focusing on my papers would help sober my mind from constantly thinking of Nikolai’s annoyingly soft kisses and his even more annoyingly pretty smile and possibly even save myself the embarrassment I’d face if he saw me like this. It’s nearing eleven in the evening when I decide to take a small break from writing, cracking my knuckles until my fingers feel somewhat sore. It was also nearing eleven in the evening when I hear a familiar voice calling out my name in a soft sigh, “I haven’t seen you all day.”

Oh no.

“You’re a mess, Nikolai. Look at you.” I lean back to get a good look at him.

He’s dragged a chair opposite mine, settling down on it rather slouched. Nikolai’s tousled mess of hair is juxtaposed by his pressed, kingly clothing, and my body betrays me when I reach out to him, running my hand over his hair to push it back from his forehead. My actions have surprised us both, and I try to salvage the silence with the clearing of my throat, “What brings you here?”

“You, clearly.” He answers nonchalantly, “Since when do you hide out in a dusty library for hours?”

I take a second to answer and I raise my eyebrow, giving him an amused smile, “Don’t tell me you’ve missed me, Nikolai.”

There’s a glint in his eyes, “And what if I did?”

“Then, you’d be a liar.”

Nikolai takes it upon himself to stand and loom over my chair, anchoring himself on an arm pressed on the back of my seat, “Oh, milaya moya, I’m many things, but I’m certainly not a liar.” He leans down further, and I’m reminded of the reason I hide in the eerie library aisles. My breath hitches when he speaks again, “And stop flattering yourself. We have fittings in three days for the party.”

—

The fittings took quite a bit of time, and by the last day, Nikolai and I were invited to try on what we were made to wear for the ball. Both of our clothes are pulled in on a mannequin, and we are equally in awe of what they made in a few days’ time. Nikolai’s presented with a gold and blue court tunic with delicate embroidery and a sash. My off-shoulder gown resembles Nikolai’s tunic colors, black embroidery extending under my black corset. My corset is the last thing to fix in my perfect-fitting dress, and it’s impossible to do alone. I try my best to do whatever feels right, and I know it’s taking me a long time when Nikolai shouts out from the outside, “Princess? What’s taking you so long?”

“It’s my corset.” I mumble, rolling my shoulders, “Unless you’re here to help, I suggest giving me a minute or two.”

He knocks, “Come here. I’ll tie it up.”

I push the heavy doors apart with some struggle, and Nikolai is staring, rather wide-eyed when he sees me. His arms are crossed when he walks over, nodding in satisfaction, “You look beautiful in Lantsov colors.”

I turn around to let him grab at the lace of my corset, “I look beautiful in anything.”

“Of course.” He works his way from the top laces.

I understand I underestimated the proximity this puts us in when I feel his breathing on my neck when he moves his fingers around the laces, splaying his fingers on the small of my back. I groan when he suddenly tightens it, “Too tight?” He asks. It takes him a few minutes to figure it out, and when he finally does, he lays his hands on the smooth surface of the corset on my waist for a few minutes, “The gold brings out the spite in your eyes.”

“Charming.”

—

Today, I’ve woken up earlier than usual to prepare for the ball everyone’s anticipating. I’m sitting on my vanity when handmaidens enter my room, with them the gown from yesterday in tow. Upon laying my eyes on the corset, I remember Nikolai’s hand on my waist and I try to pull myself away from the thoughts in my head. I couldn’t afford to think these things, not when I’m supposed to spend hours of him doting on me for show. It would be too dangerous of a game, and I wasn’t exactly the person to dabble in risks. Counting down is the only thing I can do to keep my nerves in check, and it doesn’t provide much help when my heart starts to pound in my ear a few minutes before Nikolai knocks on my door to fetch me.

We are a hallway away from the venue when he stops, reaching for my hand. There’s a gold-band ring on his thumb with an uncut emerald, and he’s carrying an identical one on his other hand, “Just so they know.” And with that, he slips it on my thumb and drags me inside.

I’m quite pleased about how well the party is going. People are fooled by our show, and they’ve been tirelessly asking about our matching clothes and jewelry, intrigued about how this relationship between the youngest Zemeni princess and the Ravkan king bloomed, and I do my job well, gushing about it like it wasn’t just an act we put on.

I’ve also come to introduce Nikolai to my family, who are all gasping and clutching their pearls, “Is this why you haven’t sent letters this past month? You’ve been spending all your time here in Os Alta!” My mother says in fast Zemini, “And with little Nikolai too, no less.”

“I can assure your daughter’s been enjoying yourself, Your Highness.” He answers her in perfect Zemeni, flashing a charming smile before he bows, “She’s finding solace in one of our many libraries.”

“We never thought you two would come to terms with your feelings. Especially with our little girl here, who was practically glowing red when you two entered the room.” My mother pokes at my arm, “Sweet girl. What has he been doing to you to have you all shy?”

I stutter out an answer, and when no words escape my mouth, I pull Nikolai away from my parents.

“Shy, princess? Did I hear that right?” He laughs, letting himself be dragged off.

“No.” I pant. Nikolai wasn’t exactly a feather, “Now, go. Fool more people.”

“Alright, alright. No need to get pushy.”

Nikolai must’ve been fooling a whole nation because it’s been a good hour since I’ve seen him. I’m growing tired, so I decide to find drinks to sustain me for at least a few more hours. There, I see the boy I’ve been looking for, and… with another princess, too. He’s standing over a glass of brandy with her, and it seems like he’s enjoying his time. I could feel an ugly boiling of emotion at the bottom of my stomach, and my face contorts into something of obvious disgust.

Oh no. No, no, no. This wasn’t happening. I wasn’t feeling this way. Not for him, no.

Nikolai sees me and he excuses himself promptly from the princess, who I’ve identified now as the Shu princess. “Hi, pretty.” He lifts my knuckles up to his lips, “Is there anything you need?”

“You,” I jab a finger at him subtly, holding him at the arm, “are coming with me.”

When we arrive at a secluded room, I push him against the door. “Bold, aren’t we?” He says.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing? What are my parents gonna think if they see you chatting up the Shu princess who is clearly interested in you?” I hold him by the collar, “I know you aren’t the most delighted to be seen with me, but save me the shame, Nikolai.”

Nikolai is peering down on me, reading the expression plastered on my face, and his expression of confusion is melting into something of a knowing little smile, “Are you jealous?”

“Obviously not!” I chew at my bottom lip, crossing my arms defensively after such an accusation.

“Stop lying to me. I can tell when you are and you know that.” Nikolai shakes his head, taking me by the waist so that I’m the one against the door, “You think you don’t have a tell, but you do, and I’m rather elated I’m the only one that knows what it is because that means,” He says slowly, tone enticing, “I’m the only one that’s so constantly looking at your lips.”

I look up at him and glare, eyebrows furrowed, “So what if I were jealous? It’s not like it would matter, wouldn’t it? This is just an act we put on for both of our benefits.”

“You’re a stubborn girl, aren’t you?” Nikolai sighs, dragging his hand lower on the door, “I look at you like you hung the stars, the moon, and every celestial body in the night sky, and you’re telling me you think I’m just putting on an act? Good saints, princess, they told me you were smart.”

“You… were flirting with her.”

“And I kissed you in front of the whole Little Palace.” He lowers himself down to meet with my eyes, “I wasn’t flirting with her. She was, but not me.” He cocks his head to the side, grinning, “Why don’t we save ourselves the embarrassment of admitting to everybody this was all fake, and allow me to actually take you on a proper date?”

“I suppose that would be fine.” I turn my head to the side, unable to retain eye contact. His hand is tilting my face back at him, “Oh, no, no. We’re well past the point of being shy, I think.”

“You are impossible.” I try to muster a poisonous voice but my eyes betray me when it flickers between his eyes and his lips. Saints, his pretty lips, and his pretty smile. I hate him for what he’s doing to me, and yet somehow I’d hate it even more if he were doing this with anybody else.

I don’t have to look at him to know he’s reading me, figuring me out like I’m his favorite puzzle. “Far from that.” Nikolai presses a soft kiss on my mouth. I return it almost immediately, pulling him in by the hem of his tunic. Nikolai runs his tongue on my bottom lip before he pulls away, leaning in to get another on my jaw, “I’m improbable, princess.”

#nikolai lanstov x reader #nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x you #nikolai lantsov imagine #grishaverse

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sumsebien · 4 years

Text

by design pt.2 // Prince Friedrich

series masterlist

summary: one room and two very confused individuals.

word count: 3.6k

warnings: none

a/n: don’t ask me how. i don’t know either :) (edited: i added another scene yall)

Friedrich stood awkwardly next to the coffee table, looking out the window while you sat on the couch all the way across the room from him. A queen-sized bed splitting the space into his side and yours that none of you were willing to cross.

“The weather-“ Friedrich began, taking a quick peek outside, “-is lovely, don’t you think?”

“It really is.” You were just going to say that.

It had been 15 minutes and that was the first thing you had said to each other after the doors were closed. Both of you were longing for lunch time to arrive for an escape, any escape from this tragic situation you felt developing.

“I-“

“Oh, you were saying?” he asked.

“No, nothing. You?”

“I was just-I think I’ll head out for a minute. Check on where the rest of the luggage is.”

It was confirmed. He absolutely despised your guts. That was not his job. A Prince never had to check on anything. If he wanted to stay, there was nothing that could stop him. Not even some stupid luggage. He must be leaving because he didn’t want to stay in your company any longer.

“Oh, of course.”

Friedrich gave you a small smile, walking towards the door with the least amount of elegance anyone had ever seen. His legs didn’t even feel like they were even his. There went all of his posture and diplomatic training.

As the Prince, he was forced to sit in numerous lessons on the art of making conversation and had to put it into practice almost immediately at dinner with his father. At Cambridge, he spent three years studying international relations, different societies and their interactions.

But somehow, the weather was the first thing he talked about. It was such a poor attempt that he was absolutely certain you found him dull. Even he thought it was dull.

And the walk? He could not explain where that came from. He was a giraffe who suffered an identity crisis and had no awareness of its legs.

There was no way in hell he was going to make you suffer through this the entire day. He thought as he asked his guards to find Heinrich. He was going to fix this.

Lunch had passed and soon came time for dinner.

You sat and watched the plate of beans, stale bread and soup go cold. It wasn’t because you were a picky eater by any means or that you held some sort of contempt for people less fortunate than yourself. It was none of that. It was the voice inside your head, feeding you paranoia every second that passed.

He would probably walk than sit on the same train as you. Remember his face? And the small talk that he kept having to make? Probably did not think you were worth any real conversation.

You stood up abruptly and then sat down again, the skirt of your dress rustling with your movement. You huffed, staring out the window with no intention of admiring the landscape. You just needed something else to think about. But there was simply nothing other than this.

Just as you were about to call your maids in to clear away the food, you heard a knock on the door. Careful this time, you stood up and told whoever on the other side to come in.

It was Friedrich. You scanned his expression with caution, hesitantly. He wore a gleeful grin on his face, his eyes gleaming. The happiest you had seen him. But it was fleeting, quickly wiped off when he saw your face. Were you that terrible?

He took a glance at the neglected tray and then back up at you. “Was the food not good?”

“Oh, I just wasn’t hungry.”

“Your lady’s maids are just outside. Would you like anything? Fruits?”

You shook your head. Through the gap he left, you could see Lea and Ilse’s figures. You walked past him to the doors, calling them in.

Once they saw your face, they immediately rushed into the room, curtsied to the both of you and took the tray away. You just stood next to the door and gazed aimlessly at the floors. Friedrich who was impressed turned to you with a remark that completely missed you.

“Yes?” you asked again.

“Nevermind that,” he smiled, “I have found a solution!”

“What?”

“A solution to our problem,” he gestured between the two of you. A glimmer of hope flashed in front of your eyes, so close that if you had reached out your hand you would have caught it. Your heartbeat hastened, your fingers clenching around themselves.

“I have rented out a compartment for myself. It should work perfectly well! You can have this room!”

Whatever else he said blew away. You heard none of it.

You could still see perfectly clearly though. A smile plastered on his face, his lips moving so fast you could not make out what he was saying even if you tried. He seemed so cheerful, so satisfied with himself that he had dealt with this, with you.

You blinked at him, your arms going limp at your side. Were you so despisable? That he had to leave the entire day just to figure out how to get away from you?

But where is the surprise? Even your own parents struggled to love you. All your life you had to live everyday knowing you were undeserving. Undeserving of your father’s pride from the moment you came into the world a girl. Undeserving of your mother’s affection for not being foolish enough. And undeserving of your betrothal’s tolerance. Not likable enough. Not pretty enough. Not Daphne or even Cressida.

“Y/N?”

His voice brought you back. You quickly ducked your head, rubbing away the tears that were gathering at the rim of your eyes. “Yes. Thank you.”

He paused, tilting his head to try and match your faze. “Is something wrong? Did I offend you?”

You waved him off, turning the corners of your lips upward in a show of pretend. “Not at all.”

“You’re crying.”

You sniffed. “Allergies. I apologize.”

You opened the door, “I believe your compartment awaits you. I will be completely fine, I promise.”

He walked over to the door, prompting you to take a step back and clicked it shut before you. “No,” he said, “there is something wrong. It’s my fault, isn’t it? You can tell me. I won’t be offended.”

You walked away from him, your back to him. “There is nothing wrong. There is nothing else I can say.”

“Y/N. I know you don’t trust me. But we are to be husband and wife-“

You spun around, all of your control gone. “Then why won’t you treat me so?”

Friedrich stared at you, unblinking.

“I know I am not who you expected. I am not who anyone expected,” you laughed bitterly, flicking your eyes up towards the ceiling to blink back the tears. “That much I know very well.”

“Y/N-“

You stopped him with the shake of your head. “But you must know that it is not my choice either. You don’t want to be in the same room as me yet you won’t let me leave.” Your fingers had been gripping on the fabric of your skirt. So tightly that it hurt when you yanked them away, throwing them in the air. “What must I do then? Disappear?”

“Y/N. Why do you think I did that?”

You sighed in exasperation. “You despise me!”

When your lungs were gasping for breath was when you knew you were done. Your breaths became deeper, easing the burning in your lungs but not the burning you felt in your heart. You took your time to watch him, really observe. His lips were pressed into a line as he watched you with pained eyes. Your words had slashed him but you did not know that. You did not think he would care.

Finally, he spoke, his voice barely louder than a summer breeze and calmer than a pond on a windless day. “I don’t despise you.”

“Y-you don’t...?”

He shook his head. “I got us separate rooms and I am giving you your space and your freedom because you clearly did not have in England.”

“I-“

“I didn’t have any freedom growing up either. People have a lot of input in my life. I know what it feels like to be an outsider in my own body, to want to run away and be myself. I may not have had it as bad as you but I still understand. And I am trying to give you your freedom.”

You stumbled onto the chair behind you and sat down. Friedrich sat across from you. The rounded coffee table was the only thing between you. He leaned against the arm, looking at you like he always did. But only now that you realized what exactly it was that he held in his gaze.

Sympathy.

“I am sorry if I made you feel like I despised you. Because that is not what I am trying to do.”

“No. I am sorry. I shouldn’t have lost control of myself like that. I obviously don’t know you enough to assume.”

An idea flashed in his eyes, he sat up, that excitement filling his blue eyes again. “How about we change that? I want to get to know you. And I will tell you whatever you want to know about me. Does that sound fair?”

“Fair.”

...

You were both painfully aware that there was only one bed. The both of you eyed it, wondering what you were supposed to do. It wasn’t as if any of you had any intention of doing anything other than talk. Right?

Well, you’d be lying if you said your mind wasn’t going somewhere else.

You didn’t know about him but you had been preparing yourself mentally for your wedding night ever since your mother gave you the talk. You just never thought that the first time you would share a bed with a man, your husband for that matter was to talk.

It was not that you were disappointed. You just did not know what to do. Somehow, this was more awkward than the ballet performance your father made you perform for his siblings and their children at Christmas. If there was ever a competition amongst the most humiliating instances in your life, that one would win, well, would have won.

“I will sit in the chair, you take the bed,” Friedrich decided.

It didn’t take a genius to see that the little wooden armchair was not going to be comfortable for him. Hell, you yourself had difficulty relaxing against the bumpy wooden backrest. He was essentially twice its height and had much more muscles than you. He simply would not fit.

“No, if anything, I’ll sit. It’ll be more comfortable for me.”

He quickly shut that idea down with the shake of the head. “No, I simply cannot allow that.”

“Why not?”

“Well for a start, I started this mess. You shouldn’t have to suffer the consequences-“

“I started it too!”

“You weren’t the one who placed a bet with my father, were you?”

“Bet?” What bet? He never told you about any bet?

Friedrich could see panic slowly rising in your eyes. He hadn’t meant to say it like that. It sounded as though this was all a game to him. You were probably thinking it was at that very moment.

“I,” he began, searching for the right words for a moment before he continued, “my father always wanted me to marry someone of his choice. It wasn’t ideal for me, I had had my freedom. I wasn’t going to give it all up. So I made a deal with him. If I ended up married at the end of the season, he would not be able to intervene.”

“But you weren’t married.”

He nodded.

Quietly gazing at the ground, you said nothing else and just sat down on the edge of the bed. Friedrich couldn’t see your eyes but he began to worry he had offended you.

Of course, he did. What was he thinking? He basically said marrying you was akin to being in a cell. He might as well have said that. What was the difference really?

Then, out of the blue, you apologized. An apology which felt wholly unnecessary. It sent him into a daze. “W-whatever are you apologizing for?” It was you who deserved an apology.

“I’m sorry,” you repeated, looking up, “about Daphne and about your father. I’m not sure I could have pulled myself together as well as you did at our wedding if I were you.”

Wordlessly, he sat down next to you, the both of you staring straight ahead. He didn’t think he handled it well at all. He just showed up. But then he decided against saying anything lest he ruined the conversation again.

After a little while, you turned to him with a question. “You loved her, did you?”

If you had asked him that question a couple of days ago, before he met you, he would have said yes immediately. He was very certain that he loved Daphne Bridgerton. But now that you were in the mix, he had other feelings to compare whatever he felt with Daphne to.

With Daphne, there was attraction. A lot of it. Perhaps so much that it had temporarily blinded him. There was also the pressure of the bet. Once he found someone he felt like he could love, he made the leap.

But something was amiss. There was always a concern that they wouldn’t quite connect on a deeper level. He knew that if he were to be having this conversation with Daphne instead of you, he wouldn’t have shared so much about his relationship with his father.

Yet, with you, he just knew you would understand.

“Did you love Simon?”

You shook your head, your eyes on your hands. “No, I didn’t. Not in the way I wanted to. I barely knew him. My parents did though. They were pushing me towards him when you and Daphne began to court.”

“And if they had asked you to marry him, would you have?”

The corners of your lips curled up ever so slightly. “I don’t have any other choice.”

Ever since that day at the abbey, he had suspected that this arrangement was forced upon you as well. Having it confirmed by you, however, saddened him. For you, it was never a question of this or that. It was either you did as you were told or you suffered. At least, he had a shot. You never did.

“I have no say in anything. Not even with my own performance at family gatherings,” you added, swinging your legs back and forth gently. The small smile on your lips lightened the mood. It made him smile as well.

“Me neither. It was quite the embarrassment.”

“I once fell flat on my face at Christmas trying to perform a ballet.”

“You did?”

You nodded. “And then I laid there. Like a log of wood.”

“That is still not as embarrassing as the time I got an awful grade in arithmetic. And came lunch time, it was splattered all over the papers: ‘Prince Friedrich does not know how to count.’“

You tried to hold back a laugh. But you couldn’t, your entire body was shaking with laughter. As a last attempt to save some grace, your hand flew to cover your mouth. A habit you had formed over the years living with a strict mother. Well, you weren’t sure if there was any grace left but it certainly sounded less like a hyena and more like a hyena with a rope around its mouth.

Friedrich couldn’t care less though. Very quickly, he joined you, leaning forward with a chuckle.

You found yourself looking at him and thinking how nice his laugh sounded. It wasn’t obnoxiously loud like the ones that echoed all across the estate during one of your father’s dinner parties. It wasn’t too perfectly staged either. It was simply a delightful sound. A laugh anyone would be jealous of.

When the room returned to its familiar silence, his arms accidentally brushed yours. The unexpected graze was so brief that you didn’t think he even noticed. You, on the other hand, were very aware.

To mask your increasingly reddening cheeks and clammy hands, you opted to carry on with the conversation. “I guess gossip papers truly are everywhere.”

“For an appetite so voracious, it is only fair. At Buckingham, everyone reads Lady Whistledown.”

You paused, shaking your head to yourself. “You read Lady Whistledown?”

“I must admit it is quite entertaining when it is not your name on the front page. You read it too, right?”

“Of course!” you grinned,” I am not allowed to but I find my ways. Who could dare dream of missing out on London’s latest?”

“So what are you allowed to read?”

“Nothing. Which is why I read everything I can get my hands on.”

You then continued to recount your late night adventures sneaking into the library. You seemed so proud that he couldn’t help but smile and nod along.

There was also that sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as he learned more and more about your upbringing. You seemed to know that the nonsensical rules your parents imposed on you were unusual too. But somehow, you had learned to accept it as nothing more than a fact of life. You never spoke of them or referred to them with spite. Certainly not had the same sour taste that Friedrich had on his tongue everytime he spoke about his father.

The Duke and Duchess of Clarence were damn lucky to have you as their daughter. They certainly did not deserve it though. He thought bitterly.

...

You and Friedrich ended up in bed, talking all night.

By the time dawn was on the horizon, you had both finished recounting your childhood tales, leaving nothing behind. In the end, the two of you found in this complicated arrangement so much more than either of you could bargain for. A confidant.

“Who is to say the betrothed can't be good friends?” Friedrich said, leaning against the headboard as he looked up at the ceiling.

You laughed. “Not us apparently.”

“Would you be able to promise me something?” He turned his head to look at you.

If there was one thing Friedrich learned after hours of conversation, it was that you were the best friend he had never had. And he was not going to let that go. Not even for his own feelings.

“Yes?”

“That we will remain friends even if we can’t love each other like we should.”

You grinned, sticking out your pinky. “Promise.”

...

Dear sister,

Everything is in order. All that is left to be done is for my ‘Diamond of the season’ to produce a male heir....

Bernadine closed the letter and stuffed it in her trunk of clothes at the faintest sounds of footsteps echoing in the hallway outside. Putting on the sweetest smile, Bernadine made sure she was the first thing he saw coming into the room.

“Good evening, your Majesty. How was hunting?”

The King entered the room swiftly, slamming the doors behind it. She did not jump, immediately following him and helping him with his cloak.

“Didn’t catch anything,” he said, shaking off his muddy boots onto the floors. “The weather. Too gloomy and rainy. Scared off the deers.”

Bernadine hung the fur cloak up. While the King disappeared into the bathroom, she quickly closed the blinds, of course not missing the bright blue sky and the royal garden bathing in sunlight.

“Yes, the weather has been absolutely terrible these past few days.”

When he came out of the bathroom, she made sure to cling onto his side, steering him towards the desk. “Are you feeling better, my love?”

“Much. Made sure the train stayed right here before I left. Good luck travelling with the lower-class, son.”

The King began to cackle uncontrollably at that, even had to sit down at one point. And Bernadine made sure that he sat right before the stack of paperwork sent for him this morning.

“That is a genius idea!”

“I know it was. What is this?”

“This is everything that needed to be signed while you were gone.”

The King cleared his voice, taking his quill and began to scribble his name on every page. Even the one that had nothing to do there along with the more important national matters.

A contract.

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#by design #bridgerton #bridgerton imagine #prince friedrich #prince friedrich fanfiction #prince friedrich imagines #prince friedrich x reader #my writing

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harveywritings92 · 3 years

Text

Oni! Dabi x reader Pt. 2

Summary the is vaguely based on the Yomawari games: Your best friend Touya disappeared during the last Summer festival you both had together, you swore up and down that whoever took him away wasn't human! but everyone dismissed this as you being traumatized, a few weeks later your family moves away, ten years later you've come back, determined to find out who or what took Touya...

Y/n sighed as she slowly sat down the tub the hot water felt nice on her aching limbs, after a few moment s of relaxing Y/n started to feel antsy hearing nothing but silence she looked at her phone resting on the small table next to the tub and went on YouTube and put on some random videos not for a laugh or because they interested her. No, She played them for the background noise, The [y/hc] woman just didn't want feel alone right now after what happened in the forest, her whole head was in disarray... that man was he really an Oni?

She heard a lot about them from her grandpa (who she inherited her sight from.) growing up, apparently back in the old days yokai were very powerful type of creature and were very common; their origins were gruesome as they would start out as humans who willingly or unwillingly gave up their humanity to gain the powers of a supernatural... Y/n always wondered how that would be possible? And tonight the [Y/hc] woman got her answer!

… Albeit in a disturbing manner, she took her hand out of the water to examine it she was still shaking still feeling those cerulean eyes staring her down, Y/n hugged herself and slipped under the water. As she thought back to what happened on that summer night ten years ago...

{{You were 15 and Touya was 16 You were wearing your favorite sundress and tights You and Touya were at the meet up spot on the overlook watching the summer fireworks going off, the atmosphere was somber as this was going to be you last time doing this with as, you dad had gotten job offer and were moving out and far away from town...

You and Touya barely talked but as the night wore you hadn't noticed his hand closer to you until felt something curl around your pinky and ring finger almost flinching thinking it was bug only to looked and see Touya's pinky and ring finger slowly inter locking with yours, you looked up at him and saw him looking away from you; the tips of his ear were pink when he realized you caught him! You smiled and closed your hand keeping the two fingers inter locked as Touya hand rested on top of yours, it wasn't long before his voice broke the silence.

"...I hate this Y/n, I don't want you to leave!"

"You not alone there Touya, but my parents have made their decision, we're moving and there's nothing I can do to convince them otherwise."

"...Then let's leave! hit the road together!"

"Touya..."

You gave the redhead a look that told him how much of a bad idea that was, Touya sighed he knew you wouldn't go for it and besides his old man was pretty big deal! his idea was a media circus and a manhunt waiting to happen! He sighed and looked back at you...after a few moments of silence the red haired teen spoke up. "Y'know there is something I wanna do before you go." you looked up to ask him what? only to be met by a pair of lips on yours. It took a few moments for you get over the shock a kiss him back.

You felt Touya nip on your bottom lip you let him in as the red haired teen hand rested on the back of your head deepening the kiss a he pulled away to let soo you two could breath before claiming you lip again... your arms found their way around his neck as Touya gently pushed you down on the table and felt his free hand go up your dress...

*snap*

Touya pulled away from you and snapped his head towards the woods. "Touya?" you gasped bemused as he brought his finger to his lip and shushed you. *snap...rustle...snap* You shuddered hearing footsteps moving around in the woods getting closer! but what really sent a chill down your spine; Was the giggling...

It sounded like a girl but you weren't sure... You heard Touya growl in annoyance. "Fuyumi?!" he barked making you jump as the giggling now sounded like two people instead of one. "You and Natsuo better not have followed us!?" he huffed you watched Touya walk towards darkness and squint trying to see where they were, as the giggles got more distorted and deeper, it became clear that whatever had been out there watching them wasn't his siblings, you watched Touya’s shoulders stiffen.

"Y/n...Hide." He hissed looking back at you. "I'm not lea-" before you could finish protesting a giant hand that looked like it was made out of shadows jutted out from the darkness and wrapped itself around your friend! You ran and manage to grabbed Touya's arm as the hand started dragging both of you into this red looking mist! Touya was yelling at it to let go him! as you held onto him...

Then it was like everything went into slow motion.

Touya was almost completely covered in the mist as he brought your arm up and bit down hard! Your eyes widened in horror as the realization sunk in... Touya wasn't telling the hand to let go of him, He was tell you to let him go...You cried out in pain as you instinctively let go of his arm, the last thing you saw was Touya smiling sadly before disappearing into the red mist....]]

While she was underwater y/n felt a chill go down her spine her eyes looked up and she nearly had a heart attack upon seeing a shadowy figure with blue horns staring down at her! Y/n gasped and accidently swallowing some water she sat up in the tub coughing and wheezing before looking around her bathroom to see...Nothing. There was no one standing over her tub!

Y/n caught her breathe while running a hand through her wet hair, she looked at her phone was it was playing random reddit stories about haunted houses no less! *Okay, I'm way too tired for this crap!...and I really need a drink!* She thought pulling herself out of the tub and grabbing a towel and wrapping up and headed to her kitchen to get a can of hard lemonade from her fridge, but before she could open a sudden sound of glass breaking caused Y/n to she whipped her head in the direction of her office, the h/c woman swallowed nervously as she approached the closed unsure of what she'll find....

"Maow!~" Y/n blinked and looked down to find a cat, sitting at her feet? the (y/ht) woman crouched down to examine the feline, he was black as nigh with odd purplish brown brindle markings on his body, particularly around his body and face. And he had blue eyes... *He must have some Siamese in him...* she figured the cat's tail flicked as if he was waiting for her to do something.

The (Y/hc) held her hand out to him and muttered "How'd you get in?" as the cat nuzzled her hand letting her scratch him under the chin, *No collar...A stray?* she smiled then looked around the office window was slightly opened and saw her flower pot broken on the floor...

"I guess I didn't close it all the way." She got up and went to close the window... only to yelp when the cat suddenly grabbed onto Y/n's towel nearly pulling it off. "Whoa! what are you doing?!" the cat yowled at the h/c woman who thought the cat wanted her to pet it some more, before realizing she was about to walk bare footed through broken glass! *Okay... that's trippy!* Y/n hummed fixing her towel and picking the cat up he seem to settle down immediately purring and nuzzling her cheek as she carried him out of her office.

Unbeknownst to Y/n the cat's cerulean eyes stared over her shoulder in to the dark window glaring at the weaselly Akaname* that had been spying on her in the bath, the tiny red purple imp shuddered under his glare and ran off crying...

--------------------------------------------

Mineta is a Akaname: It translates to "Filth licker" it's a yokai that waits around watching people in the bath, then when they're done it moves in and licks the filth and grim off the bottom of their bathtubs.

#boku no hero academia #bnha x reader #Oni! Dabi #dabi x reader #Touya todoroki x reader #Dabi #touya todoroki #minoru mineta #monster x human #psychic reader #fuyumi todoroki #natsuo todoroki #yokai au

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jonah-aesthetic · 4 years

Text

Jingle Bells I Daniel Seavey

Daniel X Reader

Plot: Your best friend since childhood takes you on a sleigh ride. one you’ve only mentioned once to him. With the entire Christmas vibe he brings to life it’s hard for you to keep your feelings at bay for him.

Word count: 2.9k

Author’s Note: unedited I feel like this piece flopped for me. I didn’t want it too long, but it also dragged on a little. Yet I didn’t think I put enough detail in this one.

Rating: 16+ (I’m 20 so I’d like my readers to be some what around there.)

MoodBoard

-----------------------------------------

Your vision was blocked by a folded bandanna tied around your head with a secured knot or two. Hand tightly locked with Daniel’s, feeling his thumb rub a top yours for comfort. Snow crunched under your Dr. Martens with ease, slightly soft from the snow fall a few days prior. Slow steps as He guided you keeping your location a surprise.

Your senses felt heightened with your eyes looking into the dark oblivion. The vague bitter smell of horse manure and the rather oddly pleasant hay scent Reached your nose. You wouldn’t have noticed it before, almost feeling like a damn blood hound. Yet it gave a hint on where he was taking you.

Two hours previous he woke you up, you’re nothing close to a morning person. So you cussed his ass out of your apartment so you could enjoy the fantasy dreams about him. Ones you could never endure in reality, Daniel’s your best friend who you were insufferably in love with.

Yet he came again, using the spare you forgot you gave him. But this time he came bearing an Eggnog Latte and gingerbread cookie. Slaying the ferocious dragon into silence, the way he always knew how. The caffeine and baked good keeping you at bay as he told you he at the day planned for the both of you. Although it was a surprise, all he said was dress appropriate for the chilly winter weather and grab a blanket.

Analyzing everything in your head for a quick second. You realized he was bringing you on that sleigh ride you mentioned once before. Thinking it’d be fun to do during the winter months, you didn’t think he’d actually book an entire day for it. Making it a big thing, you wish he didn’t. Cause it only made butterflies flutter, tempting you to wreck your friendship.

“Watch your step..” Daniel’s voice is more projected against the snow over ground. Heart slamming upon your rib cage and you swear you can hear it.

“Actually just bend your knees, It’s a stairwell and I’d rather not risk you eating shit. Or breaking a nose in the winter.” At his words you probably figured they were slippery or he didn’t trust you not to slip, you were no doubt clumsy as Bambi, and the man knew it.

Bending your knees a little, which you curious on why he asked you in the first place. Yet you trusted him with your life, there’s no going back on years of friendship now Seavey. his arms scooped you under your legs and against your back. Bringing you closer to his chest, the motion fast and unexpected as you let of a small whimper. Daniel groaned as he hopped getting a more sturdy hold on you.

“God you’re heavy.” He breathes, the air from his lungs hitting your cheeks.

“Then put me down Asshole.” You scold him, slapping his chest, feeling a deep chuckle rumble within.

“I was joking, you’re not heavy, you’re fine. It was a bad joke anyways. Now hold on I might drop you.”

“Daniel That’ll be the last thing you’ll do before you end up in hell.” You threaten playfully. You instantly wrapped your arms around his neck after feeling him climb up the stairs. It was a small rocking motion almost like you were on a ride especially with the blindfold on.

“Was that a death threat?”

“If you drop me, yes, yes it is.”

Gasping you felt Daniel fake drop you, it was a slower motion that you thought it would be to actually drop you. Nonetheless it still scared you, clawing on tighter to him. Whitening your knuckles as angry wasps scattered in your stomach.

“I hate you, I hate you, I have you Seavey.” You yelled still preparing for the fall the would never come.

Again you could feel the glorious deep chuckle of his erupt from his chest. Vibrating against you, turning angry wasps into love-sick butterflies. “We’re hear anyways.”

“Than you can put me down and take this damn blindfold off.” You speak trying to reach for it. Daniel’s hand caught your wrist like a reflex. “Not yet, just a few more minutes.”

Opening a door and being engulfed my warmed, you shivered from the drastic temperature change. Bells rang above warning the receptionist that customers have arrived. It was around an hour, or what felt like an hour to you later. Of going over everything for the surprise, from the time to the pricing. Which you weren’t to happy about, yet after all of it nobody confirmed your theory. You knew what it was, but you wanted it to be heard. Though nothing about it was said.

Nada. Zilp. Zitch. Nothing. Not even a damn crumb.

Going from warm to cold wasn't as drastic of a change. Daniel still held you bridal style, scared you eat shit. Which you most likely would have, if he let you climb down the steps. You felt very natural in his arms anyways, like to pieces of a puzzle.

Daniel began to lower you softly letting you go before your feet were on the ground again. Silently thanking him for being on your two feet again. His presence coming behind you, raising his fingers to the knots and began to pick at them.

“Are you ready?”

Yes I’ve been waiting all damn day for this. Take it off Seavey.” Hearing him chuckle behind a smile spread across your face. Feeling the bandanna drop, hands flying to your mouth as you gasped. You knew it, yet you were still shocked by the sight of it.

In front of you was bright red sleigh with gold detailing all around it. Had a massive resemblance to the famous Santa Klaus one. instead of nine reindeer, a beautiful black Clydesdale stood in their place. On of the bands resting upon his butt had a line of huge bells. Ringing every time he moved, bringing the whole Christmas vibe alive.

whirling around gazing at him a gentle smile rested on his lips. His blonde hair half tucked under a black beaning. Light stubble dancing along his jaw, making him look older. His icy blue eyes watching you, fighting the urge to tell him you wanted him. Maybe he knew it already, that’s why he took you here, and maybe he didn’t.

“You didn’t have to.” You said shaking your head,

“I know, I wanted to, I had the money for it.” He shrugged stuffing his hands into his pockets. Why couldn’t Daniel be less attractive! it wasn’t fair. perfect silence emerged over both of you, genuine smiles with adoration for one another hidden behind your eyes.

“If you Two love birds are ready, I love to show you what this gorgeous winter has to offer.” The Driver spoke, sitting upon the front seat that was two or three feet higher then the main seats in the center of the sleigh.

With giddy giggles Daniel escorted you towards it, his hand resting on the smallest part of your back. Maybe it was your mind playing tricks on you, but you swear you could’ve felt his hand reach and squeeze your hip.

Sitting down it was a tight and cozy fit, the bench and the back rest was cushioned with a black leather material. Smooth to the touch and soft as ever, with a clicker of the chauffeur’s tongue, the sleigh bolted to life, cause you and Daniel to fall back into each other. Soon enough the jingle bells rhythm came into ear shot. Making this whole experience feel like you woke up in a fucking Christmas. Unbelievable real.

“Are you okay?” Daniel’s laugh fans your cheeks as he helps you to sit up right.

“Never better.” You say with an undying happiness you possessed inside. Not feeling the way the cold nipped at your nose making you look like and off brand Rudolph.

“Here.” He speaks as you watch him unfold a black blanket, a little dumbfound, the thing was massive and surprised you hadn't noticed it before. Handing you one of the corners of the blanket, and instantly wrapped it around you as Daniel did the same. Pulling you two closer together, trying to engulf your body in it as much as you.

“Thanks” you whisper under your breathe, watching it form into an icy cloud. Glancing at the gold letters embroidered into the corner of the blanket tight. it was a gift from Daniel’s mother giving to you on the day you both graduated. Remembering the words she said to you like it was yesterday.

“You know I wasn't to ecstatic about new neighbors moving in. But as soon as I saw this sweet little girl playing with my boy. I was glad that your parents’ pick the that house. I Watched you two laughing and giggling in the yards, I just knew you two would be in separable. It’s a shame that boy of mind doesn't see the love that you have for him...”

It shocked you to know that she knew that you were in love with him. You covered your tracks pretty well back then. Controlling yourself around him was child’s play compared to now. She never interfered with the way you felt about him, You were grateful at the time. Now not so much, but it could’ve wrecked the friendship you had-

“Y/N look.” Daniel’s voice cut your thoughts short, His attention of the right. You follow his gaze, spotting nine caribou in scattered in the woods. Or rather nine reindeer, you guessed they weren’t replaced after all. You could feel the sleigh come to a gentle stop, the jingle bells’ song vanished into the air.

“Oh shit! Reindeer.” No filter with pure shock,

Curiously watching them from a far, you admired each and every one. Noticing a chunky bell lacing around their necks, like they were Santa's famous reindeer's’ out of the movies.

“And watch this.” He speaks glancing up at the driver, as if on cue he places his fingers in mouth and releases a high pitch whistle. “Keep an eye out for him,”

“Keep an out of who?-”

A reindeer further into the forest walks towards us, elegant and gentle. Stalking through the snow as if he held pride, significantly larger than all the other reindeer, he must of been the alpha, the leader.

Amazed at the whole thing you couldn't think of words to say and if you manged something. It’d definitely come out as word vomit. Reaching closer and closer to the sleigh you could her the bell jingle against his chest. Black scribble appeared on the red ribbon clasped around his neck. Soon being able to read the name ‘Rudolph’ on both side on his throat.

“Isn’t he beautiful?” Daniel asks looking back at you expecting you to say words you couldn’t fathom at the moment. You gulped and nodded your head vigorously. He was more then beautiful he was stunningly gorgeous and massive. You’ve never seen a wild animal in person not to mention this close to one.

Daniel held a chuckle at your reaction to this entire encounter with Rudolph. Finding your dumbfound shock, adorably cute. In moments like these he dreaded the knowledge of being your best friend and not your boyfriend. Where he could just grab the back of your neck and smash his lips hungrily to yours.

The adrenaline high was retreating in your veins, causing your mind to process again. The cage of anxiety breaking open as the glance of Daniel’s ocean eyes calmed you down.

He’s fucking perfect. Look at those dopy eyes, various shades of blues swirled inside them. causing your heart to melt into the bottom of your stomach. All thoughts of common sense started to leave, glancing at his lips. looking pink and soft as ever, god they must taste like heaven, or at least the closest thing to it.

Best friend. Best friend. Best friend.

Looking forward you could’ve swore you breathed the same air as Rudolph. Still he was more beautiful up close. White creamy chest that reached to his legs, chocolate brown body. adorable nose that had the softest resemblance to a cow. Antlers sprouting from a top his head, developing towards the sky. A small white box was tethered to his left antler by a black ribbon. Throwing your best friend a suspicious glance, he nodded letting you reach for it.

Clasping the velvet box in your hand, feeling your heart pound repeatedly. Breath caught, anxious of what’s in the box. Feeling your gut tell you this was it and whatever this box contained was going to change everything. Distracting yourself you focused on Rudolph, seeing the way he looked at you. As if he knew what it was somehow.

taking your glove off with your teeth you reached for him, pausing three inches before his nose. If you learned anything from Draco’s encounter with Buckbeck, was to be patient and let the animal come to you. Although at the end of the day it was just a fucking movie.

Warmth exploded from your palm to your elbow, smiling you trailed your hand to rest under his chin. His fur softer than you were expecting it to be, yet you didn’t know what you were expecting. “Thank you Rudolph.” You whisper to him soon retracting your hand. Backing away he retreated to his herd, quite as if the encounter with him never happened.

Taking up your spot next to Daniel you glance up at him, “What is this?” You asked breathlessly.

“Open it.” He says, voice a tremble and couldn’t help but think that he knows. Was this what a best friend break up was like? Staring at it you forced the top open, but you let it go. Snapping shut without a glimpse. You shake your head, gulping feeling the bile rise. “I can’t Daniel”

His hand comes into view, twice the size of yours. Veins scattered along his knuckles, red from the cold. Taking the box from you grip you stared at your fingers, missing the feeling of his hands on yours.

“I’m in love with you.” He blurts in out like it was nothing new to you. Your head whipped so fast you got dizzy. His eyes were genuine, you always knew he was lying. The way he would glance up and down then to side. Tongue poking out with a fiddling of handing, but he didn’t show any signs. He was a good actor though.

“She told you.” You accuses like a defensive mechanism. You guessed Keri thought you moved on with your feelings for Daniel. There was no other reason you could think of.

“She did.’ He confirms, Nodding his head. Was this was this a joke to him? Cause it wasn’t fucking funny. You shook your head feeling the fire burning in your blood.

‘I can’t do this.” You speak, removing yourself from the seat and jumping out of the sleigh. Starting to head back in the direction you think the farm was located. The cold weather bite at your body, but you hugged yourself too furious to care.

“Y/N!”

“Leave me alone Daniel.” You could here him chase after you, with the ay he was breathing.

“Mom told me you wouldn’t believe me.” His voice getting louder.

“Maybe you should’ve kept it to yourself Seavey, better yet you should’ve let me sleep in.” You were hurt, and you didn’t know how to comprehend any of this.

“I love when you talk about things you’re passionate about. Like the colors on your paint palette, how you mixed blue and purple for the perfect shade of magenta.”

That was two months ago and you remembered the excitement you felt. After hours of mixing you finally made the exact shade you wanted. Daniel was the first one you came to, as he was at your apartment.

“Daniel stop.” using his name the way you were was like a sting each time.

“Or the time you hit that sparrow, you pulled over as so soon as you felt the bird hit the grill. You dug him a grave with a used spoon in the truck of my car. Gave him a funeral and forced me to speak at it like it was lost friend. It was the day I finally realized I love you with every fiber of my being.” You could hear the strain in his voice.

That happened two fucking years ago.

“It’s not fair.” You speak stopping in your tracks, a good distance away from the sleigh. Feeling his presence behind you, you let him reach out for you. His hand turning you to face him yet you faced the ground feeling like you lost a damn war, defeated and drained.

“I know it’s not and I’m so incredibly sorry.” He sounded like he was begging for you.

“Okay.” you didn't know exactly what it was for, but you felt like it was needed.

His hand came to rest on your cheek wiping a tear you didn’t know slip. His touch delicate against your face, tilting your head up he caught your lips against his. His lips were soft as you fell into sync. Tasting like cinnamon and peppermint. Pulling him closer you lost yourself within him, the feel, the smell, and the touch of him.

Kissing him was like finally finding the last piece of your puzzle, the way both of you fit perfectly together amazed you. He tasted like heaven and heaven tasted like home.

---------------------------------------------

Felt like I could’ve added more, but its already long.

I hope you enjoyed this piece.

Also if ya made it to the end comment which Why Don’t We guy I should do next.

#daniel seavey #daniel seavey imagines #wdw #wdw imagines #why don't we #why don't we imagines #seavey #jonah aesthetic #jingle bells daniel seavey #🐆

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shadycwasont · 6 months

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This was mainly inspired by other people's aus/fanfics like 2 souls, hamato spirit (I think that's what it's called haven't seen it is a bit) but basically the premise is that a ghost of the turtles from one iteration goes to another iteration pretty simple right?

Well, in this specific one, our ghostie turtles are actually from another one of my personal au, and it is to be explored in the fanfic, au- thing that I've got going on.

basically the spirits of each of the previous iteration of turtles is connected to their respective Turtle the Leo from before is going to leo, raph to raph etc, etc, the Spirits can only be seen by their respective Soul bound (that the name were going with for now)

Now featuring the 2012 turtles getting magic because they deserved it. A slight rewrite of a few characters (ahem donnie casey and april ahem). Airbender references. Trans leo. Autistic raph. (They're all Autistic but this specifically for el rn)(i've never seen anyone else use that nickname for raph, yet its one of my faves). Airbender fan content references, angst, fluff, crack, fluffy crack (that sounds so wrong 😂). Splinter simultaneously gets shit on (by the characters, not me i dont hate rat dad) and a somewhat support system at the same time. Emotional moments. possibly, just maybe, shitty art. And more. 🥳

Might post about it again, and I might orphan the idea for someone else 🤷‍♀️ who knows. I sure as hell dont.

#tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt au #donatello hamato #leonardo hamato #michelangelo hamato #raphael hamato #tmnt 2012 #hamato yoshi #i think im gonna refer to the spirits by their colors for now #blue is like a parental figure to lea #trans leo #blue is very supportive of her #red is like the older brother who lofe has shit on so much but hey at least he gives really good life advice now #purple is kinda distant #at least at first #orange....#we'll just have to wait and see #😈

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nationalhoranleague · 4 years

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Eighteen | All Summer Long

TW: Alcohol, Mentions of Binge Drinking

Chapter Song: Wonder - Shawn Mendes

≫ Everly - Monday, June 13, 2016 ≪

We were miserable. We were walking a very fine line between still drunk and hungover. Luckily, it wasn't just us, everyone gathered in the lobby waiting for the buses to take us to the airport looked to be in the same shape as Sid and I. Well, almost everyone.

"So," Beau began loudly, seemingly popping up out of nowhere. "What time should we be around tonight?" He asked, looking between Sidney and me.

I looked up to Sidney who wore dark sunglasses over his eyes, even as we stood in the hotel lobby. "I don't know, we won't even be back in Pittsburgh until," He looked down to the watch on his wrist. "after two o'clock."

Beau looked to me, clearly not happy with Sidney's inability to answer his question. "What tim-"

"Are you always this loud?" I asked, interrupting him. Beau's girlfriend, Georgeann, who looked to be as miserable as the rest of us, and Sidney both stifled their laughter. "How are you not miserably hungover like everyone else, anyway?"

Beau's head lulled to the side, looking at me as if I was an idiot for asking him such a question. "Olli, Justin, and I did shots when we got up this morning,"

Genius. I looked up to Sidney. "Why did we not think of that?"

He chuckled, shaking his head. "We didn't have anything left to drink,"

"Lack of planning," Beau noted, pointing finger guns at us. "So, what time?"

I groaned. Since the beginning of the playoffs, I have been planning a massive pool party for the team and their partners to celebrate the cup win. Luckily, I did all of the planning, shopping, cleaning, and decorating before I left for San Jose, but right now, the last thing I want to do is throw a party. I haven't been this hungover since Sochi. "Um, let's just say 5:30. That'll give everyone to get home, relax for a while, and then come 'round for supper."

"You say relax, I say pregame,"

I tilted my head. "Beau, are you going to drink all day?"

"Evergreen," He began, calling me by one of his many nicknames for me. "I'm going to drink all summer."

Sidney and I flew separately, as did the rest of the team and their families. Of the two planes the Penguins chartered for the family of the team, I was fortunate enough to be on one with an abundance of alcohol. Maureen, Kuni's wife, popped open three bottles of champagne which we passed around the plane to those old enough to drink, not even worrying about individual glasses. When we touched down in Pittsburgh, nearly everyone on the jet was tipsy enough to have to hold onto both handrails of the jet's airstairs as we deplaned. However, it seemed as the passengers on the other jet enjoyed their time in the air as much as we did. Hell, even the coaches seemed to teeter off of the team's plane.

The team's jet was the last to arrive and deplane, leaving Sidney's family and me to wait for him on the tarmac. The concrete beneath us was quickly heating up and began to mix with the heat from the alcohol coursing through my body, causing me to begin to sweat. I smiled, the long, hot days of summer are only a few days away and today's temperature is a clear reminder of that. I was ready to celebrate this win all summer long.

"Ow! Ow!" I exclaimed as Sidney drew closer. Trina, Troy, and Taylor all began to clap and cheer loudly, causing Sidney to blush and the others around us to start laughing. "That's my MVP!"

He shook his head as he came to a stop in front of us. He hugged his parents and then his sister. "You're a mess," He spoke, teasingly, before leaning down to place a kiss on my lips.

I nodded, agreeing with him. I grabbed for the dress bag he had in his fingers, taking it from him and slinging it over my shoulder. "Ready?"

He nodded. "We'll see you tomorrow for dinner?" Sidney asked, looking to his parents for an answer.

"We'll be there!" Trina sang, pulling him in for one last hug. "Have fun tonight, you two,"

I hugged the three of them before we went our separate ways, them to their rental car to stay at my condo for the evening, and Sid and I to his car, to head back to his home in Sewickley.

The car ride felt exceptionally long, traffic from the airport was terrible, and we were itching to get home and get out of our airplane clothes and into our swimsuits to enjoy the evening by the pool with the team. Once we were finally home, we all but raced up the stairs to the same shower.

"Care to join?" Sidney asked, dropping his pants onto the floor, his belt clattering against the cool tile.

I laughed at him but began to strip down to nothing as well. I stepped in behind him, not hesitating to wrap my arms around his waist. He relaxed into me, his shoulders dropping the tension he had been carrying around since December.

"I've missed you," I mumbled into his damp skin.

He sighed contently. "I've missed you, Everly Grace,"

"It feels like I haven't seen you since May,"

Sidney spun around, now taking me into his arms. "I'm sorry, Ev. I just get tunnel vision during playoffs, you know? I just get so wrapped up in the need to win that I forget about what matters the most," He paused to grab my face in his wet hands, directing my eyes up to his. "You."

I swatted his hands away from my face so that I could wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him into me. "Hey," I began softly. "Don't apologize for the schedule that you had no control over. You're here now and you're a two time Stanley Cup champion. That's what's matters. All of that work paid off, you have something to show for it."

He smiled before leaning down to kiss me. "Wouldn't have been possible without you,"

I laughed, pulling away from him and stepping into the warm water, grabbing my loofah from it's resting place. "Me?"

"Yeah, you,"

I hesitated, watching Sidney as he grabbed the pink loofah from my hand and began to run it down my arms and then across my chest. "What did I do?" I questioned, closing my eyes and relaxing into his touch. He seemed to be washing away the stress that I had been unknowingly carrying around, likely as long as he had.

"You were in my corner," He spoke softly.

"Hmm," I hummed. "It's the least I can do,"

"You took care of the house, entertained my family while I was out of town or busy, all while working on stuff for the foundation, and still carrying on with your own life. You've taken a lot off of my plate and put it on your own, no questions asked." I tilted my head back, soaking my hair.

"As I said, it's the leas-"

"Thank you," I opened my eyes to reach for my bottle of shampoo.

"I'll always be in your corner, Sid," I assured him after a few moments of silence.

"That's why I'm marrying you,"

"Still trying to figure out my motive," I teased, before gazing down. "Nevermind, I figured it out."

He threw his head back, laughing loudly as he jokingly attempted to cover himself. "Quit objectifying me!" He teased, pushing the bottle of conditioner into my hand. "And finish washing your hair before the water runs cold,"

I watched as he scrambled out of the shower, laughing when he nearly fell. "Hate to see you go, but love to watch you leave, Sid!"

"Don't start anything. I'm still tired from last night," He replied, speaking loudly to be heard over the running water and the rustles of him dropping his towel and pulling on his underwear.

I washed the conditioner out of my hair and turned the water off before stepping out of the shower and taking the white towel from Sidney's outstretched hand. "You were on your game last night,"

"I know," He boasted. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Settle down," I teased, walking out of the bathroom to get dressed, leaving him to shave away his playoff beard that I had come to love. "You know, I don't hate the beard," I confessed as I shimmied into my bathing suit, threw a pair of shorts and a t-shirt on, and walked back into the bathroom to brush my teeth.

"You could have told me that before I shaved half my face,"

I giggled. "Sorry, bub,"

I finished brushing my teeth and collected both of our discarded towels from the bathroom floor, depositing them into the laundry basket hidden in Sidney's closet. I popped my head back into the bathroom to see Sidney still messing with his hair, having yet to put his swimming trunks on.

"C'mon, pretty boy," I began, using the nickname that my sister and Mel had given him, one that both Sidney and I had only recently come to learn about, causing Sidney to roll his eyes. "Olli will be here any minute with the ice and we still have to get all of this food on the grill,"

Sidney groaned loudly as he ran his hands through his hair, spiking it up in about 14 different directions. "This is as good as it's gonna get, I'm afraid." He laughed, flicking the bathroom light off and walking toward the dresser to retrieve his swimming trunks.

"You look handsome as ever," I complimented mindlessly before heading toward the bedroom door to head downstairs to begin preparing dinner.

"Ev?" Sid called out to me, stopping me in the doorframe. I turned to look at him. He had the top drawer of the dresser open, one hand hidden in the pile of socks, and a look I hadn't seen before written across his flushed face.

"They're not in that drawer, they're in the bottom draw-"

"I know where my trunks are," He interjected, turning now to face me directly. However, as he pulled his hand from the sock drawer, a blue object that not previously been in his hand caught my eye.

"What's that?" I asked, pointing to the blue box in his hand.

Without answering my question, he stepped toward me, clad only in his boxer-briefs, and grabbed my left hand in his right. "Everly Grace,"

I gasped, throwing my right hand over my mouth, now catching onto what he was doing. Tears sprung to my eyes almost immediately. And as I looked into his eyes, I noticed that his eyes looked a bit glassy too.

"When I met you, I knew I had met my match. You've challenged me, and encouraged me, and lit a fire within me, one that I hadn't known existed. You are the strongest, smartest, funniest, most beautiful, most caring, most loving woman I have ever met, and even that is the tip of the iceberg." I giggled lightly, squeezing his hand tightly in my own. "I know, in my heart, even after this short time together, that you are the person I am supposed to spend the rest of my life with. I've known since day one. So," Without ever letting go of my hand, Sidney bent down onto one knee and with his other hand, he held the box out to me, flicking it open with his fingers with ease, as if he had been practicing the action for weeks. "Everly Grace Cassius, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Breathlessly, I answered. "Yes, of course! A thousand times, yes," Without once looking at the ring in his hand, I tackled Sidney in a hug, causing both of us to fall onto the carpeted floor.

"Ow!"

"I love you," I beamed, taking his face into my hands before kissing him.

Sidney laughed as we kissed, causing our teeth to clank against one another's. "I love you more, Evy,"

I shook my head, hitting him in the face with the hair that had fallen loose from my bun when I tackled him. "Impossible,"

"Where do you want these?" Olli asked, shuffling across the threshold with three bags of ice in his arms.

I stepped out of his way, leading the way to the kitchen. "Just set them down on the counter," I replied, taking one bag of ice from him and setting it down on the marble. "Thank you for getting the ice, Ols, it totally slipped my mind,"

Olli shook his head as he set the other bags down. "Don't worry about it,"

"Olli!" Sidney cheered, standing up from where he was squatting on the floor, filling up the empty coolers with beer. They embraced in a quick hug, patting each other on the back. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," He replied, cooly, as he reached up to his face to take off his sunglasses and set them on top of his head. "Are you guys okay?"

I eyed him oddly. "Of course, what are you on about?"

"You look like you've been crying. The both of you," He spoke, matter-of-factly, catching me off guard. While Olli was very observant, he was not confrontational by any stretch of the imagination, he was the type of person to notice something was off, but to wait to pull you aside by yourself to ask you about it.

"Oh," I replied, blushing. "It's nothing, no worries!"

Olli scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back against the counter. "C'mon, did someone die?"

I looked at Sid, who only smiled knowingly back at me. "I have to tell him, he thinks someone died!"

"We haven't told our families yet," Sidney reminded, keeping his voice low, but still wearing a smile on his face.

I grinned. "Olli is family," I replied, quickly, setting a hand onto Olli's arm. "He won't tell anyone, right?" I asked, looking up to Olli who glanced between Sidney and me, completely lost. His eyebrows a clear indicator of his confusion.

"Right?" He squeaked out, barely loud enough for me to hear him.

Sidney laughed and then threw his hands into the air as if to say 'What the hell, why not?'. "Go on, then,"

Without saying anything else, I reached down into the front pocket of my jean shorts and pulled out the diamond ring that Sidney had presented to me only ten minutes prior, and slid it onto my left ring finger. "We're getting married!" I squealed, shoving my hand into Olli's face, all the while dancing.

Olli gasped before pulling Sidney and me into a hug. "Congratulations!"

"But," I remarked, stepping out of the hug. "You can't tell anyone! Our families don't know yet,"

Olli shook his head profusely, his expensive sunglasses nearly going flying as he did. "Your secret is safe with me,"

"Good," I turned on my heel, grabbing two plates stacked with raw hamburgers ready to be grilled, and then spun back around to hand them to Olli. "Now you two get to cookin'," Sidney grabbed the pan full of hotdogs from the island and made his way out to the back patio where he had already lit the grill with Olli hot on his heels.

Before I could do anything else, I glanced down at the Tiffany ring on my left hand. It wasn't absurdly large. Sidney wasn't a flashy man nor was I a flashy woman. But, it was beautiful, nonetheless, too beautiful to have to hide for the evening, but too important to tell the team about before we told our families. It was also too beautiful to separate myself from completely, hence the reason I was hiding it in my pocket as opposed to the iconic blue box that set empty on top of Sidney's dresser. It was too new, too electrifying to simply place back into the box etched with my soon-to-be-initials across the top.

Carefully, I slipped the ring from my finger and returned it to its temporary hiding place in my short's tiny pocket. The weight of the ring against my thigh brought me an odd sense of comfort. Symbolically, of course, the ring tied Sidney and me together forever, but the weight of the ring felt as though it physically tethered us together too. I couldn't wait to bear the weight of the ring on my finger for longer than ten minutes. I couldn't wait to wear it forever. To spend forever connected to the man who I knew was my husband the day I met him.

I turned to the ice on the counter in front of me, noticing that the bags had begun to sweat and drip onto the hardwood floor of the kitchen. I sighed before picking a bag up to dump into the cooler full of warm beer. I proceeded to empty the other bags into the multiple coolers lining Sidney's kitchen, hoping that we had bought enough alcohol to hold the team and their others over for the night.

I began to open bags of chips and dump them into bowls when I heard the front door open and subsequently fall shut.

"Hello? Sid?" A heavy Russian accent rolled through the house.

I popped my head out of the kitchen to see Geno, Anna, Flower, and Vero standing in the entry-way, lingering awkwardly.

"Hi!" I stepped out of the kitchen fully now, making myself know. "Come in, come in,"

Anna smiled, coming toward me quickly. She wrapped me into a hug, holding onto me tightly with one arm, keeping the platter in her opposite hand between the two of us.

"Didn't want you hosting without sweets," She spoke softly, placing the plate full of brownies into my hands now.

"You didn't have to do that, thank you," She smiled softly and then stepped aside, allowing Vero to hug me quickly.

"Where's the cup?" Flower asked, pulling me into his side for a hug as soon as his wife let go of me.

"Uh," I began, turning back toward the kitchen to set Anna's brownies down and finish what I was doing before they all walked in the door. "I think Coach Sullivan has it, he's the last person I saw with it at the jet port." I dumped another bag of chips into a bowl and set it on the island among the other bowls and various plates of burger and hot dog toppings. "Okay," I dusted my hands off before setting them on my hips. "Drinks are in these coolers, there's bottled water, soda, beer, wine coolers," I listed off on my fingers. "Um, there's liquor outside at the bar by the pool, serve yourself,"

Without saying a word, Geno and Flower shared a quick look before darting toward the back door and disappearing outside, on the hunt for a stiff drink.

"What do you need help with, Everly? You look overwhelmed," Vero asked, running a comforting hand up and down my arm.

"This is just a much bigger affair than I had anticipated," I admitted sheepishly, turning away from the women in front of me to the fridge to pull the fruit out to cut it up and toss it all together to make a fruit salad.

Anna took the plastic containers from my hands and started over to a small section of empty counter space. I handed her a cutting board and knife and thanked her profusely as she began slicing.

"You're going to be just fine, Ev! As long as you have food and drinks, everyone will be happy," Vero glanced around the kitchen. "And by the looks of it, you have more than enough to get us through the night,"

"I just want to make a good impression on everyone, you know?"

"You already have,"

I smiled softly at her. She had been a great friend to me throughout the season, all the girls had, but Vero went the extra mile. She was always the first to reach out to me to invite me to a girl's night or to come over to watch The Bachelor or to call just to catch up. She was my rock this season, becoming my uncertified therapist to help me cope with the loneliness of Sid being away and the helplessness I felt from not being able to skate.

"Thank you, Vero," I offered sincerely.

"Anything for you, Ev. Now, get yourself a drink, you've earne-" The doorbell rang loudly startling the three of us. "Get a drink and then get the door, I've got the rest from here,"

Ignoring the coolers, I scrambled to the front door before whoever was on the other side could ring the bell again. I swung the door open, to see Mario, Coach Sullivan, their respective wives, and the keeper of the cup, Philip, whom I had yet to officially meet, but knew by name. His presence meant one thing: the Stanley Cup was in the Crosby house tonight.

"Everly! Good to see you again!" Mario chimed, leading the group into the house. He paused to kick his shoes off at the front door and then pulled me into a hug. Mario and Nathalie lived only a few streets over and were frequent fliers around here. Mario and Sidney often sat on the couch for hours on end, watching hockey games, and discussing anything and everything while Nathalie brought over homemade desserts, winning her way into my heart almost immediately.

"Ev," Nathalie spoke, hugging me with one arm over my shoulders. I hugged her back tightly. "I brought a cake, I hope you don't mind,"

I laughed. "Of course not! I will never complain about you bringing food over," She smiled warmly and then headed in the direction of the kitchen with Mario on his heels.

Coach Sullivan stepped farther into the house, discarding his shoes at the door just as Mario and Nathalie and his wife did before him. It was odd, to see him dressed down, I mean. On the few occasions that I had been around Coach Sullivan, he was always dressed to the nines, as if he was perpetually ready for a business meeting to occur at any given time.

"Everly, lovely to see you," Coach Sullivan pulled me into a side-hug and then released me quickly, but not without a squeeze to the shoulder. "This is my wife, Kate, I don't know that you two have met,"

I nearly went to offer a hand out to her, but instead just pulled her into a quick hug, surprising her. "Everly Cassius," I introduced, stepping back from her now. "I'm, uh, Sidney's fi-," I stopped myself quickly. "Girlfriend,"

"It's so nice to finally meet you, Everly."

"You as well, Kate," I gushed before giving the married couple the details on when dinner would be ready, where to find drinks, the bathroom, and Sidney, and then watched as they headed in completely different directions.

I turned to the blonde man still standing in the foyer, a small smile on his face. "Philip, right?" He nodded, letting go of the handle of the large black case behind him and offering a hand out to me. I introduced myself to him and him to me, insisting that I call him Phil. "Well, Phil, I'm glad that you're here," I told him, beginning to lead him toward the back door, watching as he towed the beat-up black trunk behind him and navigated it with ease through the house and out onto the patio.

"I'm just here to drop this beauty off," I looked at him in surprise as he put on his white gloves and popped open the black case.

"You don't have to stay with the cup?" I asked, watching as he lifted the cup with ease and set it on one of the tables I set up outside.

He chuckled. "Nope, I can just drop it off and leave it, as long as I know where it is, of course."

I hummed, crossing my arms over my chest. "I just always assumed you have to stay with it," He shook his head as he turned away from the cup and toward me. "Well, do you want to? Stay, I mean,"

He hesitated for a minute, pulling his white gloves off by the fingers. "I, uh, wel-"

"You don't have to say yes, I ju-"

"I'd love to stay, if that's okay with you and Sidney, of course,"

I grinned, before turning to Sidney who still stood over the grill with Olli at his side. "Sid," I called out to him, catching his attention. "You don't mind if Phil stays, right?"

Sidney smiled and shook his head. "Of course not! Get him a drink, Ev,"

I laughed before looking back to Phil. "What's your poison?" I asked, causing a grin to break out across his face.

I got Phil a beer at his request and then gave him the same spiel that I gave to everyone who came in before him; telling him where to locate drinks and the bathroom, to make himself at home, and to find Sid or me if he needed anything at all. He graciously thanked me and then wandered around to the opposite side of the pool and sat in one of the chairs facing the house. I watched on as he relaxed into the chair and twisted the top off of his beer bottle and took a long pull from the bottle.

"Careful, that big heart of yours is on your sleeve," Sidney whispered in my ear, startling me with his sudden presence.

I smiled softly at him, only to see that he was looking at Phil across the pool. "Didn't feel right for him to come to drop the cup by and then have to leave, likely to go back to an empty hotel room with shitty room service, when he knew we were having this big party. We have plenty of food, plenty to drink, what's one more?" I explained, looking back to Phil who now sat with Mario next to him, the two of them chatting away.

Sidney smiled before dipping his head down to press a kiss to my temple. "Good woman,"

"Hmm?"

"Just another reason I'm marrying you,"

As the night hours winded into the late night, everyone began to grow rowdier. Sid's backyard was beginning to look like a frat party at The University of Alabama on homecoming weekend. Even Coach Sullivan, or Sully, as he insisted I call him in his drunken stupor, was beginning to slur his words. Though people were drinking almost as soon as they hit the door, the drinks really began to flow after dinner was finished and plates were cleared. In the blink of an eye, the Stanley Cup was filled to the brim with Dom Pérignon and was being lifted to the lips of anyone who merely looked in the direction of the coveted trophy.

"Who hasn't had a sip?" Sidney called out, catching mostly everyone's attention, including mine. I glanced over to him, shamelessly checking him out as he stood in the pool next to Geno with the cup sitting on the ground between the two of them. However, I was still very much engaged in the conversation I was having with a few of the girls, even though I took my eyes off of them for a few seconds. But before I could even turn my head back around to return my gaze to them, Maureen Kunitz, who I had come to learn was a blast in a glass, was pulling me up from my seat, and pushing me toward Sid.

"Everly hasn't! In fact, I haven't seen her have a drink since I got here. She needs to loosen up,"

My eyes grew wide. "Maureen!" I exclaimed laughing, now noticing that everyone's attention was on me as she all but pushed me across the pool deck.

"Everly Grace!" Sidney taunted loudly, causing me to blush. "I can't believe you managed to fly under my radar,"

"Sidney," I whined playfully, dragging out the last syllable of his name.

"Oh no, don't Sidney me, baby. It's tradition, c'mon," He patted the concrete of the pool deck in front of him.

I shook my head, laughing, but walked toward him and squatted down in front of him, facing the cup, just as everyone before me had. Slowly, he and Geno lifted the cup and I wrapped my hands around the bowl to help them steady it and took a long sip of the warm champagne. I pulled away and wiped at my mouth with the back of my hand, catching the alcohol before it had the opportunity to run down my chin. Sidney and Geno set the cup back down on the concrete carefully, all the while laughing.

"How do you feel?" Sidney asked, looking up at me.

I laughed, nodding my head. "Like I just had a once-in-a-lifetime experience,"

He shook his head with a bright smile on his face. "Hopefully not," His hand reached out and wrapped around the back of my neck and pulled me to him, pressing a quick kiss to my lips. Sidney was not a man too keen on PDA, but I suppose with the amount of alcohol coursing through his system, he couldn't have cared less who saw the two of us.

"Get a room," Beau chirped from behind Sidney in the pool.

"I have the whole house, asshole," Sidney replied quickly, causing everyone within earshot to laugh.

The night went on, everyone getting more and more drunk as the sky above us shifted from blue to pitch black. The pool was full of people to where the bottom of the pool couldn't even be seen from the pool deck. At one point, Mario jumped in the pool fully clothed, causing everyone to cheer loudly, surely annoying the neighbors, who hopefully understood. Not long after Mario jumped in, the cup was thrown in and began to crowd surf among the team. It was a quarter past midnight and the party was far from over.

Maureen was right, however, I did need to loosen up. Wanting to throw a great party and making a good impression on everyone had me tense. After taking a drink from the cup, I headed over to the bar, where Kris has taken it upon himself to bartend and asked him to make me something, anything, with vodka in it. Three sweet concoctions later, I began to feel a little more than a buzz.

In the middle of my fourth drink, I felt someone wrap a warm, wet, arm around my waist, soaking my shirt in the process, and pull me into their chest.

"Sid," I spoke, never looking over my shoulder to confirm that's who had a hold of me. I knew already.

"Ev," I turned to face him now, drink still in hand. I wrapped my arms around his neck, my drink glass still in hand. "You just dumped that down my back, you know?"

I gasped, lifting my glass to see that it was indeed, empty. I laughed, hiding my face in his bare chest. "Sorry, Sid. Little tipsy,"

Sidney laughed, tossing his head back. The back of his head hit the lip of the glass in my hand, subsequently knocking it out of my hand and to the ground, where it shattered against the concrete. "Little drunk," He corrected with a laugh. He stepped forward, pushing me back into the granite bar.

"Okay, maybe a little drunk," I agreed with him. He smiled before dropping his lips down to mine and kissing me sweetly.

"I just want to do a toast and then we can start winding down for the night,"

I untangled myself from him, and he reached out for my hand, pulling me behind him toward the waterfall at the opposite end of the pool. He stepped up onto the concrete wall and pulled me up with him, tucking me into his side and throwing his arm around my shoulders. I watched as he placed two fingers from his opposite hand in his mouth and whistled loudly, capturing everyone's attention and drawing their eyes to us.

"All right everyone, I'm going to keep it short and sweet. First, thank you all for coming tonight. Second, I just want to tell you all that your hard work and sacrifices have not gone unnoticed this season. They are not lost on me. That goes for the wives and girlfriends too." Sidney squeezed my shoulder as he said this. "Everyone dedicated themselves to winning this season and now we have this beautiful cup to show for it," The crowd cheered loudly, causing me to laugh. "Okay, okay! That's all really, I just wanted to say thank you before we started losing more people," Sidney nodded his head in the direction of the lawn chairs, where Justin Schultz was passed out, one leg hanging off of the chair. "If you can't drive, please feel free to crash here. Everly's sister was kind enough to come over this morning and blow up a bunch of air mattresses. All four guest rooms have four or five, there are two in the office by the front door, and the couches are open too. There are blankets and pillows in every room, but if you need more there are some in the hall closet, right across from the bathroom."

"Thank you, guys!" I added once Sidney was finished speaking.

Before Sidney and I could step down from the concrete base of the waterfall, Olli's voice boomed over the group loudly, causing everyone to look at him as he stood on the opposite side of the pool.

"And a special thank you to the future Mr. and Mrs. Crosby for hosting us this evening!" Olli raised his drink in the air as if he was making a toast, however, no one else followed suit. Instead, everyone turned their attention back to Sidney and me, wide smiles on all of their faces.

"What is he talking about?"

"Yeah! Are you guys getting married?"

"Olli!" Sidney and I hissed in unison, though I slapped my hand against my forehead in disbelief at his admission.

"It slipped!"

A loud gasp emitted from the crowd as they realized that what Olli just let slip was in fact, true. They began cheering loudly, louder than they have all night.

"Congratulations!"

"This is so exciting!"

"When's the wedding?"

Sidney and I laughed at the variety of comments and congratulations and took a minute to soak it all in. Sidney cleared his throat before speaking over the group again. "Okay, alright! Yes, I asked Everly to marry me and she said yes!" Sidney pumped one fist in the air, earning hoops and hollers from the boys and awes from the girls. "But, we have to keep it a secret, at least until tomorrow,"

I nodded. "We haven't told our families yet! We only told Olli because he caught us with red crying eyes and he thought someone died, and I couldn't let him think someone had!" The group laughed and I watched as Patric Hornqvist elbowed Olli in the ribs.

"We'll keep it a secret if you show us the ring!" A voice shouted out from next to me.

"Yeah! Show us the ring!"

Without a second hesitation, I pulled the ring out of my front pocket and placed it on my finger, and then threw my hand out to my left. The girls squealed, all attempting to get a closer look at the diamond, however, in their excitement, they accidentally pushed Sidney and me from the waterfall, into the pool.

Sidney and I were both laughing when we resurfaced. I grabbed onto him first, wrapping my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. I kissed him, tasting chlorine more than anything else. But, in my opinion, it was the best kiss we had shared yet.

Read Change on the Fly here!

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sunflowerhoney · 3 years

Note

Can you answer all 100 of the questions? I know it’s a lot but I figured it would be a fun relaxing distraction 🥺🥺💕💕

-🍓

Of course!! thank you so much for asking darling, youre the best 🥺 <3

1. What is you middle name?

Kathleen

2. How old are you?

3. When is your birthday?

March 19th

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Pisces

5. What is your favorite color?

Light blue

6. What’s your lucky number?

319

7. Do you have any pets?

2 cats!

8. Where are you from?

USA

9. How tall are you?

5’6”

10. What shoe size are you?

9 or 9.5

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Maybe 7 or 8 I think?

12. What was your last dream about?

Good question 😅 i have weird dreams but I tend to forget them quickly

13. What talents do you have?

Ah I’m not sure that I have many haha, I used to be able to play viola but I haven’t in ages and I write a little bit but not well

14. Are you psychic in any way?

Not that I know of :o

15. Favorite song?

Sunflower by Rex Orange County

16. Favorite movie?

Carol

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

Gwendolyn Briggs 😂

18. Do you want children?

I honestly don’t know tbh

19. Do you want a church wedding?

No definitely not lol

20. Are you religious?

Nope

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Not like as a patient but I’ve been to hospitals to visit family members

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

I got a ticket once if that counts lol

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

I met Lea DeLaria (from OITNB) at an event at my college once!

24. Baths or showers?

Showers

25. What color socks are you wearing?

Pink

26. Have you ever been famous?

Nope

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

No, I’m way too shy 😅 I think it would be very stressful

28. What type of music do you like?

Lots of different types tbh: indie, alternative, pop, ska, pop punk, I tend to just listen to any random song I like regardless of the type

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Yes once 🙈 with a friend when I was in college

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

Usually curled up on my side

32. How big is your house?

I live in a one bedroom apartment so not very big haha

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

I don’t typically eat breakfast, eating early in the day makes me feel gross :(

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

‘

35. Have you ever tried archery?

Yes!! At summer camp when I was a kid, it was actually so fun! :o

36. Favorite clean word?

Purring (because cats!)

37. Favorite swear word?

Fuck! Lol

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

A little less than 24 hours

39. Do you have any scars?

Yes

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

You before you came off anon? 👀 hehe

41. Are you a good liar?

Depends on the situation, I tend to get too nervous haha

42. Are you a good judge of character?

More so than I used to be I think

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

Not really, at least not well at least lol

44. Do you have a strong accent?

I don’t think so! I say some words with an accent though

45. What is your favorite accent?

I’m not sure if I have a favorite :o

46. What is your personality type?

INFJ

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

I honestly have no idea tbh

48. Can you curl your tongue?

Only a little tiny bit haha

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

Innie

50. Left or right handed?

Right handed (except for when I play softball, I bat left handed)

51. Are you scared of spiders?

Not if they’re small, big spiders freak me out though

52. Favorite food?

Onion Rings

53. Favorite foreign food?

Sushi

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

Somewhere in the middle

55. Most used phrased?

I’m not sure :o (maybe thats my most used phrase lol)

56. Most used word?

Probably “hi” or something like that 😅

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

Depends where I’m going, usually like 30-40 minutes

58. Do you have much of an ego?

No I don’t think so, I’m wildly insecure

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

Uhm both I think? Like I bite them but not until they’re really small haha

60. Do you talk to yourself?

Yes lol

61. Do you sing to yourself?

Yes, especially in the car

62. Are you a good singer?

Not really 😅

63. Biggest Fear?

This is probably weird but I have emetophobia so throwing up lol

64. Are you a gossip?

Honestly a bit lmao but not in a malicious way I’m just really nosy

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

Carol? If that counts haha

66. Do you like long or short hair?

On myself, long hair (I hate the way my hair looks short lol)

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

Yes lol only because I learned a song about it as a kid and never forgot it 😂

68. Favorite school subject?

English

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

Introvert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

I have not

71. What makes you nervous?

Driving on really big highways/in bad traffic, interviews, feeling like I’m trapped, being in the middle of a row of seats (like in a movie theater)

72. Are you scared of the dark?

Only if I’m somewhere unfamiliar

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Not usually unless its going to benefit them to be corrected, I wouldn’t just correct someone to embarrass them or anything like that

74. Are you ticklish?

Yeah a bit

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

Not that I can think of

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

Kind of at work?

77. Have you ever drank underage?

Yes

78. Have you ever done drugs?

If weed counts as a drug then yes, if not then no lol

79. Who was your first real crush?

Some random person I went to school with lol

80. How many piercings do you have?

Just one on each ear

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

A little bit

82. How fast can you type?

Actually pretty fast!

83. How fast can you run?

A lot slower than I can type 😂

84. What color is your hair?

Brown

85. What color is your eyes?

Brown

86. What are you allergic to?

Nothing really I don’t think, I was allergic to pollen when I was a kid but I haven’t had any allergy symptoms in years so I guess I’m not anymore?? Lol

87. Do you keep a journal?

I don’t but I keep meaning to start

88. What do your parents do?

My mom works for a non profit, my stepdad works in a grocery store

89. Do you like your age?

Mostly, I’m happy to have the independence that I didn’t have when I was younger but sometimes I’m like ah adult life scary

90. What makes you angry?

Rude people, close minded people, getting taken advantage of, people who are mean to people I care about

91. Do you like your own name?

Not really, I wish I had a less common name

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

Nope, I can’t even decide if I want kids or not lol

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

I don’t really have a preference

94. What are you strengths?

I’m a good listener, I try to be understanding, I’m usually pretty organized

95. What are your weaknesses?

Procrastinating, second guessing myself, being majorly insecure

96. How did you get your name?

It was the only girl name my Mom and Dad could agree on 😂

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

Not that I’m aware of haha

98. Do you have any scars?

Yes

99. Color of your bedspread?

Dark red

100. Color of your room?

White

#anon #anonymous #answered #🍓

4 notes · View notes

wildshub · 3 years

Photo

WHO: The Twilight of Adam Boys WHAT: The boys come across Warren’s dead body and bury him. WHEN: Day 3 NOTE: For future reference.

Blue blue had been replaying the entire night over in his head. he had been against leaving sawyer and warren alone on the cliff, they were all a team in this but theyd always be combative until they got that. maybe the guys saw how much carrying another guy around + a lack of good sleep had done to blue, he himself felt like his energy was cut in half. maybe that's why he relented and followed the rest back, in what felt like a half sleep daze. But there they all stood, having seen far too much of what remained of warren on earth. it was the first dead body blue had ever seen, and the image seemed to puncture through any other thought. "what um, what did you guys last say to him?" his eyes housed some extra moisture, but he would be unashamed of this. a brother died, even if he wasnt blue's favorite. and sawyer, soy dog, being given this huge task, and having this be the outcome, it was heartbreaking. "i last told him he needed to translate the message..." he wished he had said anything more comforting, personable, leas tinged with annoyance. but that was the truth

Kian Kian had never been good at dealing with death. When the great aunt he barely ever spoke to on his mother's side passed away, he hid in the coat closet at her wake and refused to come out until the body was gone. That was eight years ago. It wasn't any easier now, standing here in front of a lifeless, mangled corpse...especially not that of who, just hours earlier, was joking and laughing and lazing around like they weren't in dire need of rescue. He had to tear his eyes away from Warren, focusing his gaze on a rip in the hem of his t-shirt. "Dunno. Probably something about how much of a twat he was being," Kian mumbled, none of his usual bite to his words. "But we were all kind of being twats yesterday."

Sawyer Warren was a fuck up. And, selfishly, Sawyer felt drawn to him for that very reason—because he took comfort in knowing he wasn’t the only person on the isle whose smart mouth and poor rationale got him into trouble more often than it got him any good. When Warren chose to stay with the fire, Sawyer hung back with him. He could read people like he read books, knew there wasn’t something right with the guy after he’d been choked out, beaten up, and hung off the ledge of a cliff within an inch of his life. If he indulged in a little alcohol he’d been keeping from the rest of the boys—and if Sawyer shared some with him—nobody needed to know. He’d needed that liquid courage to face camp in the morning...fuck. It felt like a given, only seven hours ago, that he’d even wake up to see the next morning. “S’my fault,” he said suddenly, drawing fourteen sets of eyes away from Warren’s body and to where he stood, feet away from the group. His voice shook as he spoke. “We were drinkin’, a-and I knew he was upset about the radio and shit, and I should’ve…looked after ‘im.”

Joe Instead of properly processing the events of yesterday Joe had pushed them to the back of his mind. He shoved the memories into a filing cabinet where they became an unorganised jumble of shouting, pulling and dashed hope. He trudged back to the camp with the hope that a good night's sleep would fix everything. He prayed that a new dawn would make for a bright new start or maybe he would wake up to find out that the last forty-eight hours had been a nightmare based on some disaster movie he watched years ago. But turns out the exact opposite happened and the new dawn brought more fucking anguish. Eyes still transfixed on Warren's lifeless body he was about to tell the Adams that the last thing he probably said to Warren was be careful, Joe wished he meant be careful in general instead of specifically with the radio. Maybe things would have ended differently if his past life prioritised Warren's life instead of a stupid old radio. That train of thought was interrupted by Sawyer. "Don't you fucking dare." It was supposed to be a command but it was more of a whimper. The words blame yourself remained stuck at the back of Joe's thought. "It wasn't your fault,ok. You couldn't have seen it coming." Yeah, Sawyer stayed behind to babysit Warren but making sure somebody didn't get yelled at wasn't the same as making sure they didn't die.

Dash Dash had seen a dead body once before but Warren’s looked mad different, mangled and limp and scraped up from the rocks. He loitered away from the group huddled together in lieu of getting any closer to the body after the panicky, failed revival. Touching his cold, lifeless skin to drag him ashore had been enough macabre bullshit for one day. Dash flexed his hand as he looked at Warren’s lax face. Well, third time’s the charm, he thought wryly, then felt a little sick. Any of them could die here apparently, and it started to feel a whole lot less like Total Drama Island as the Lost vibes violently rocketed up. The neckbeards who worked at Google were gonna have to hurry up and tap into their space stations to find them before someone else met their untimely demise. His eyes cut toward Sawyer when the other guy spoke and then to Joe when he replied. Dash shrugged uncomfortably. “Yeah, I mean, I guess there’s not much you could’ve done about it if you were asleep, man. Alcohol plus dangerous heights equals...” he trailed off. He rubbed the back of his head, eyes narrowed when he noticed something missing. Warren’s belt bag was gone; it had been one of the first things Dash noticed about his fit on the place, not entirely without envy. “Looks like Mother Ocean wanted his fanny pack.” He paused. “Uh... should we let her take him too? Yunno, ol’ Viking funeral style. Those were basically his people, and we gotta figure out what to do with the body.” Dash was all for suggesting some kind of action if that meant he didn’t have to stare at a bloated corpse anymore. Besides, he was going to start stanking the beach up in the hot sun sooner or later.

Lukas Put him in front of the grossest, goriest movie or game and Lukas had a stomach of steel. The second he laid eyes on Warren, he lost the airplane nuts and seltzer that had filled his stomach the night before. Though he did have the decency to at least step away from the group to do it. Wiping his mouth as he returned taking up the spot beside Dash towards the back of the group to avoid his stomach being unsettled again. He shook his head when Sawyer spoke up, wasn’t his fault he wanted to say but he was worried he’d say it with a side of puke. Thankfully Joe had them covered on that front, even if he did say it with a wobble of his lower lip. “ Isn’t that usually with a boat and fire and shit? “ Like that even mattered right now but it was a lot easier than thinking about having to bury Warren.

Liam for the first time in his life, liam was glad he was shorter than most. surrounded by so many taller than him, liam couldn't get a good look at the body in the water, not that he wanted to. while he may have found warren annoying and after the whole ordeal with the radio, everyone was pretty pissed; but that didn't mean he wanted the boy to die. it didn't take long before liam's eyes stung with tears a the thought of one of them dying. he looked to sawyer as he explained what happened, liam reached out and placed a hand on his bicep. "yeah, it's not your fault," he repeated joe's words, but as he did, the tears started to spill. liam quickly rubbed his hands over his cheeks to try and hide the evidence before some of the meaner members of the group (cough sebastian cough) noticed. dash and lukas started talking about what to do with the body and liam had nothing to add, worried if he did have anything, his voice was shake and crack if he spoke.

Kian "He's got family, though," said Kian, shifting his weight from foot to foot. As much as he desperately wanted to go all out of sight, out of mind with Warren's corpse, the thought of lighting him up and sending him off to sea settled in his stomach like a handful of rocks. He couldn't imagine being Warren's parents in that situation, forever haunted by the fact that they'd never get to see their son laid to rest. Fuck, this was all so fucking fucked. "Maybe we should keep him buried somewhere cool. So he doesn't...get too bad before rescue comes."

Joe "Kian's right." Joe said bluntly, breaking the silence that hung over them. He buried his hands deeply into his shorts pocket. Fuck he wished he had his jacket. It didn't matter that he was already being smothered by the humidity of the island."Just throwing him into the sea would be dead disrespectful." Warren was a disrespectful twat when he was alive but that didn't mean he deserved to be dumped into the ocean. He was a person with a family that loved him. Plus, a decomposing body would probably fuck up the ocean floor's ecosystem or whatever it was called and the poor crabs didn't deserve that. Joe took Liam quickly rubbing his cheek as a sign he needed to go into full distraction mode (something he learned to do from awkward family dinners)."And there's so much shit wrong with the viking funeral idea, no offence Dash. We don't have a boat and the Vikings were from that bit of Europe that looks like a tongs grabbing a bit of lettuce. That's not where Switzerland is." He was hardly a viking expert but being forced to go on a two hour coach trip to go to some museum on the other side of the Pennines when he was in year 3 counted for something. It didn't stop him from being complicit in the death of some rich bastard but it counted for something." Not that any of that matters."

Sebastian Sebastian looked at Warren's lifeless corpse and saw the shape of his own hands reflected in the discolored bruising around the other boy's neck. Would it ever go away or would he be buried with the reminder that his last hours had involved Sebastian trying to kill him? He swallowed hard, disturbed by the thought but the lump in his throat refused to shift in even the slightest way. He decided not to answer Blue's question, everybody knew what Sebastian's last words to the other boy had been and he didn't want to repeat them, not now. "It's not your fault," he insisted, his voice low and gravely as he responded to Sawyer, "You're not his keeper," none of them were. They were looking out for each other to an extent but they weren't obliged to one another beyond that, not really. He looked over at Kian and nodded his head, "Yeah," he concurred when Joe spoke up, assuring the group that Kian was indeed right. He cleared his throat softly and contemplated their options, "We gotta bury him," he announced, though the prospect was unbearably grim. "The animals will get him if we don't," that was worse, much worse.

Sawyer Sawyer appreciated the words of comfort—really, he did—but nice as they were, they did little to lighten the guilt sitting heavy atop his chest. He was the last person Warren ever spoke to. The last person Warren ever saw. If any of them had the ability to prevent his death, it was Sawyer, and he just…drifted off to sleep after a measly half-canteen of cognac. Did he ever ask if Warren was okay? Did he notice if he was drunk enough to make any dumb, rash choices? And if he did, did he even care? With a hard sniff, Sawyer tightened his jaw and focused his attention on an upturned shell poking out of the sand. Having a pity party for himself, he decided, wasn’t gonna bring Warren back from the dead. “Yeah. We can use that emergency blanket to wrap him up, keep the bugs an’ shit out.”

Dash Yeesh, it was just a suggestion, Dash thought, and it was easier to focus on that small smidge of annoyance than the word 'family'. Things were less complicated when Dash could look into Warren's empty eyes and imagine that he spontaneously generated on the plane like one of those meat flies. Okay, so now other cultures’ funerary rites are disrespectful? Awright, cheers, Sir Moseley, he wanted to say, half-jokey in tone and a painful mimicry of Joe's accent, but the quivery feeling that rattled his insides made him swallow the words almost immediately. Maybe it was his Catholic upbringing, and sure he just suggested they log roll Warren into the sea, but cracking jokes in front of a dead body actually seemed kinda uncouth. Kept him from pretending to snore in response to Joe’s list of Viking-related facts, too. Before he could say anything though, his mouth snapped shut when Sebastian spoke. If there was anyone he’d believe actually went on a Dr. Jekyll-Mr. Hyde midnight ride and yeeted Warren from the cliff, it was that guy. The bruises on Warren’s neck seemed evidence enough for a case of premeditated murder in his books. He pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek and his gut twisted again at Sawyer’s next words, the prospective task nauseating. “Sure, yeah. Makes sense.” He cleared his throat and nodded, then promptly expelled the thought of bugs burrowing into Warren’s carcass from his mind or else he’d follow in Lukas’ footsteps in the retching department. He gave his buddy a commiserating pat on the back as he looked over his shoulder at the stretch of beach, totally lost as to where they’d have to put him. “When my mom’s dog died, we had to bury that thing pretty deep so the bobcats wouldn’t dig him up. So, uh... guess we should get started on that, too. Might take awhile.”

Kian If he wasn't in the presence of a decomposing corpse, Kian would've rolled his eyes. The flippant way Dash was acting about the whole "Warren is dead" situation unnerved him more than he would've liked to admit; as if this was just another fucking Saturday for him. "There's no bobcats in Hawaii," he said.

Lukas " Polar bears then, " Lukas retorted dryly. Even if he had made it to day 3 of the island before making a LOST reference, he wasn't gonna start outright joking about things this soon after Warren's death. He'd give it, like, five more minutes. " Point is, I don't wanna meet whatever the fuck lives on this island because it decided to make Warren a midnight snack. " And he also didn't want to deal with the body, clearly he did not have the stomach for it so he was definitely aiming to be part of the dig crew. " It shouldn't be near camp either. Just in case. "

Dash Dash exhaled sharply. The words ‘what did I do wrong!!!!’ broadcasted themselves in bright, obnoxious colors in his head. Did it start when he wouldn’t say some bullshit things over Warren’s dead body about him and what Dash might or might not have said to him in their final moments together? Because that felt insincere and shitty. He wasn’t going to pretend that he meant anything to Warren, or make the guy’s death about himself. The best thing they could do was save him from the indignity of lying around like a washed up CPR doll while they all stood around crying. He snapped then pointed at Lukas. “Exactly." Kian and Joe wanted Warren to get back to his family? Well, hey, Dash was sure there was a fair chance they wouldn’t wanna see him with chunks missing. But fuck him for trying to be helpful, apparently. “Hence: deep hole.” He lifted his hands in faux surrender. “Can we move on from bitching at me? Yeah? I’ll help dig.” Anything to put some distance between himself and Warren’s body. He hadn’t looked at him once since he said the Viking thing, and he was happy to put that off for awhile longer. He nudged Lukas with his elbow. "Let's find a spot. Who's gonna help?"

Sawyer So that was that. Warren was dead and he wasn’t coming back and they were going to bury his body deep in the ground so wild animals couldn’t eat away at his rot before help arrived. Sawyer felt like shouting, or hitting something, or running off into the ocean until the saltwater swallowed him whole. He felt everything at once and nothing at all. “I’m gonna...go grab the blanket.” If he had to spend any longer staring at Warren’s emotionless face and twisted limbs, he wasn’t sure he’d make it to the burial.

Callum “I’ll help.” They were the first words to leave Callum’s mouth since they found Warren’s body. Unlike most of the group, he couldn’t tear his gaze away from the boy’s mangled corpse. He fucking hated Warren when the bastard was alive and breathing, but looking at him now, unmoving and silent for the longest period of time since he’s met him, Callum actually felt something other than irritation and rage for the boy. Was it regret? Guilt perhaps? And possibly some weird variation of yearning where he just wanted the idiot to get up and start doing something stupid like he always did. Yes, he was an annoying son of bitch who fucked up drastically, but he was also the first person Callum saw on this island. The first person to make him feel less alone. Whatever was going on in Callum the longer he stared at Warren’s body wasn’t great. It was a strange mix of things he didn’t quite understand and he wanted so badly for the feelings to go away and be replaced with something familiar. Something he knew how to react appropriately for. Something like... anger. That’s what he preferred to feel when he couldn’t understand what was going on within him. He turned his head when Sawyer spoke, grinding his teeth together and squaring his jaw. “Sure you can do that? You're not gonna let your fingers get all slippery and have it be blown away by the wind? Maybe we should have someone go with you, you know, since you clearly can’t be held responsible for a simple. fucking. task.”

Blue blue froze, bewildered by callum's reaction. while he knew in their time together that callum couldnt be....intense, how could someone so clever not hear the pain in sawyers voice. dash, a guy he admired for his unabashed self and how he expressed it with ease, was ready to point fingers. "it wasn't an easy task. was it an easy task for us to keep warren away from the radio? we don't know what the hell happened up there last night, for fucks sake, if you think something shady happened, share with your brothers." his voice broke a little on the last word. and his eyes darted from callum to sebastian. he expected it from seb, but he thought cal ran cooler than that. "Ill go with sawyer...." his eyes darted more quickly than usual to each boy, wondering on their thoughts. though he always gave a helping hand, he knew it usually came with a smack from a more callous present, but he already put his faith out there, and he did it for sawyer, and the truth.

Sawyer When Callum spoke, Sawyer found himself wishing he’d just punched him across the face—would’ve hurt a whole lot less than taking some salt and throwing it to the fucking sea to pour acid on the wound, instead. He recoiled as though Callum had shot him in the chest, mouth working and gaze darting from boy to boy as he fumbled for something to say. Where were you when Warren decided to hang back? When he needed someone to help carry him down the hill? When he was hovering over the ledge of a cliff and having his windpipe crushed by someone twice his size, where were you? Where the fuck were you? His arm swung uselessly at his side. The ugly truth of it all was that Callum was at the camp, and Sawyer was sleeping right beside Warren, and neither of them were able to stop him from taking a tumble into the ocean. And nothing he could say was going to change that. So, Sawyer did what he knew to do best, and choked out something that might’ve sounded like an “I’m sorry” before he turned and started walking briskly in the other direction.

Kian "Fantastic," Kian said, all-too-ready to participate in the blame game when it suited him but not to stand up for the other members of the group when they were under fire, "you pissed off the guy with the criminal record. Great going." Maybe that meant Callum's body would be next to mysteriously wind up wedged between two rocks tomorrow morning. Maybe Kian would've preferred that to hearing him flex his macho bullshit over a group of grieving 18-year-olds. His arms found themselves wound tight around his middle as he moved away from the body—the last thing he wanted to do was go searching in the jungle with two of the most annoying people on the isle, but like fuck he was going to sit here and stare at a rotting corpse for the next hour. "Guess I'll go, too, then.”

Lukas Lukas was team dig even before Dash nudged him with his arm, starting to move when he did. But he'd barely taken a step when some other bullshit started. Callum spoke up, and was mad at Sawyer. As if he wasn't suspect number two in Lukas' mind. He'd spent all of Warren's two days on the island threatening the dude, was no homo best buds with Sebastian, and had already taken a swipe at Dash. Speaking of, as Callum was having a go at Sawyer, he cast a glance to Dash, making a quick face as if to say What the fuck, are you seeing this shit? And then just as he's trying to start moving again Blue said, share with your brothers and Lukas had to try really fucking hard not to laugh, especially because his voice cracked. These mother fuckers weren't his brothers, especially not Warren. He rubbed the back of his hand against his nose, trying to conceal the small exhale that had escaped, as he started moving again, the task of digging a fucking grave on his mind. " For auto theft– not assault and battery. " Lukas pointed out as he walked, meaning it in Sawyer's defence. The perfect proof that having a criminal charge didn't make you inherently dangerous was Liam, but since the guy was crying he wasn't gonna throw his name down the gauntlet. And he also wasn't gonna offer up his own name and felony seeing as Kian had been so quick to judge Sawyer's record. For what he was going to say next he leaned into the small group going to dig a grave, lowering his voice to avoid getting some bruises to match Warren's, " 'sides, think we all fuckin' know who's got the quick temper 'round here. " He said, raising his brows. Lukas was ready to accept that Warren was just a moron that slipped off the cliff in the middle of the night, but if they were gonna point fingers he didn't get how anyone was pointing them anywhere but Gigantor.

Blue blue rose his hands up, palms to his brothers as he listened to his peers, his fellow castaways though it was easier to think of them as as more in his nature. "seb lost his shit more than anyone." The image of his hands on Warrens neck burned hard but that's wasn't the whole story. "but his strength helped pull warren up when he hung by the ledge.." blue looked each castaway in the eye,unfazed by the personal distance. "If any of you know more than dumb guy blue....say it!"

JJ He understood the tensions raising and the unpredictability of reactions to ensue. However, he knew couple of things for certain, Warren was dead. The radio was gone. The help is not here. There was no need, in his opinion, to pass around blame or mope for too long or make a bad situation even worse. Then again, if his opinion mattered they wouldn’t have left Sawyer and Warren alone over night in the first place. He will look over at Callum then Sawyer than back on Warren and laugh. “Sorry, it’s really not funny...” he will say and nod at Luke and Blue who seemed to have been the most clear minded at the moment. Aside from palpable tension in the air that is. “Sawyer man, don’t beat yourself up. It’s was reckless as fuck leaving yall alone up there in the first place.” He said in his best attempt to provide some comfort to the other before focusing on what to do with the issue at hand. “Burying him in the woods is the best option. We wrap him, dig deep so animals can’t dig him out and mark the place so we can find him when the rescue gets here. But first...” he will kneel down and start digging through Warrens pockets. If there was anything there, they could use it more than the dead guy.

Dash Without a backwards glance, he started toward the jungle, lowering his voice like Lukas did just in case: “Did I or did I not call this shit Day One, dude? Roasted. Fuckin’. Pigs.” He shook his head. “The whole Macho Man rescue thing? Red herring moves. Zigging when we expect him to zag. Classic misdirection.” He looked at Callum out of the corner of his eye. He didn’t know if him and Sebastian had any kind of bro bonding moments so far, but Dash at least knew he was on Team Sawyer’s Fault which put them at odds once again. Perfect. His shoulders hunched and he fought back a shiver; the moment they flipped Warren over onto his back replaying in his mind like the most twisted boomerang. The word family haunted him almost as much as those few seconds. “This blows,” he said with feeling. Once they past the treeline, he picked up the first fallen stick he saw. It looked like it broke off at an angle, leaving a slanted end. “I once watched one of those 3 AM History Channel specials about how aliens helped ancient people build pyramids and shit. Alien Theory Guy goes, ‘You want me to believe these Incans could dig thousands of holes totally randomly? Nah, that’s a Martian move.’” He looked over the stick in hand. It seemed pretty sturdy, about an inch and a half in diameter. “Then some corduroy jacket-wearing Ivy Leaguer crops up and says, 'Ever heard of sticks, bitch?’” He cleared his throat again and rubbed at his jaw. Weirdly the further they got from Warren’s body, the more it preoccupied him. Like now that they weren’t looking, he’d pull a grisly Toy Story move and get to his feet. Except he’d be making daddy jokes in his Dr. Doofenshmirtz accent. Dash held up the stick for inspection. “What do you think? Could try and make it work a little bit. Just so we don’t all end up with bloody hands by the end of this.”

Kian “What in the actual fuck are you talking about,” was the only response Kian could muster when Dash started going off on a tangent about Aliens and pyramids. Warren didn’t need a tomb, he needed to be lowered into the earth and kept cool long enough to be recognizable when someone—anyone—could come and exhume him. Chopping him up and stuffing his body parts into little holes in the ground seemed like JJ’s gig, and like, they didn’t need even more of a reason to be suspected of group murder. “We’re burying him, not cutting him open and harvesting his organs. Only reason there’d be any blood is if Godzilla here and his buddy King Kong decide to swing on one of us again.”

Sebastian Sebastian was admittedly surprised by Callum's response. He'd seen flickers of the other male's disdain toward the group but at the time, it had seem warranted. Now, however, he seemed more irritable about Sawyer's failure than perturbed by the fact that the course of the evening, regardless of whether it had to do with Sawyer at all, had resulted in the death of somebody they knew. As he digested it, he considered that maybe Callum was in shock, maybe he'd never experienced death and couldn't process it. When Sebastian's grandfather had died, his Dad had been angry for no reason at all but it was a part of the grieving process, his mother had assured him. "We're not arguing about who is in the right and who is in the wrong right now, we're not arguing at all- we're getting this done," he instructed, leaving little room for protest. Then Jorts piped up, "Who the fuck are you pointing fingers at, Jorts?" Sebastian shot at the other male and he would have had more, far less civil words for the other boy if Blue hadn't chimed in.

Lukas God, Sebastian was so back and forth wasn’t he? Yesterday he was barely tolerable and now he was back to giving off future military recruitment vibes, like pick a lane already. Perhaps stupidly, Lukas rolled his eyes as Sebastian pulled his attention from what Dash was saying. “ It was just a fucking joke, “ well, sort of. It was a joke he had meant. “ Obviously, he took a drunken swan dive off the cliff, right? “ he looked around the group, confirming that was the consensus. “ But you’re not gonna go far trying to convince anyone that those are my hand prints on his neck, that’s all I’m saying. “ He held up his hands as he said it, continuing to take a couple steps backwards before he turned back around, hands returning to his sides. Back to the project of digging a grave for the less than dearly departed. He grinned along with what Dash was saying about Martians building the pyramids. An easy chuckle leaving his lips too. Then head turns to Kian and Lukas finds himself unable to stop another stupid snort escaping him. “ Who the fuck is talking about cutting him up? “ He asked, amused Kian had even gotten to that point. “ Like maybe old grave robber over there, but not me that’s for sure, “ he said, feeling a little too bold about the distance between them and most of the group as he nodded back at JJ literally looting a corpse. Though the comment of King Kong and Godzilla was a good one and again he laughed. Reaching for a stick like Dash had he held it up, inspecting it as if he knew what would make a good grave digging stick. “ What is it about big dudes that think they gotta fucking rough everyone up to prove something? Like we get it, you’re fucking boring, quit making it our problem.”

JJ He looks over at Lukas "He's dead, he won't need any of his shit. We might."

Callum Seeing JJ drop down to his knees and not hesitate in the slightest to search Warren’s pockets for something valuable was fucked up beyond belief but Callum couldn’t argue that he did have a fair point. And if they couldn’t find anything useful, maybe they could find something to give back to his family. It was then that Callum took notice of the watch on Warren’s left wrist. Fuck, was he really about to do this? With an irritated sigh (because even in death, Warren was making him do things he didn’t want to do), he walked over to the other side of Warren and knelt down to undo his watch. He figured they could give it back to his family along with Warren’s body when they were rescued. Rising to his feet once he was done, he brushed some dirt off of Warren’s watch with the pad on his thumb. The watch face was cracked and after giving it a closer look, he noticed that the hands weren’t moving, stopped at 1:49AM. “Did everyone manage to sleep through the night last night?” He then asked, his gaze still fixated on the watch.

Kian “Something something toxic masculinity, something something animals.” Kian knew he could be a dickhead sometimes, but at least he was a dickhead to everyone. Boys like Sebastian and Callum were wolves in a pack, sniffing out other people’s weaknesses and arranging them accordingly on the ever-arbitrary pecking order. In their eyes, all you needed to be was tall and muscular to be deemed worthy of respect, and that was pretty fucking gay if you asked him. But god forbid anyone point that out to them. “They’ve never had to develop personalities beyond being human jockstraps and it shows.”

Sebastian Sebastian kept his arms folded tight to his chest, perhaps to stop himself from choking anybody else out that afternoon. Everybody knew that the bruising around Warren's throat matched Sebastian's prints perfectly but they also knew that it was as a result of the argument yesterday and not anything that had happened over night- right? His gaze shifted between a few of the other boys, trying to read their thoughts to no avail. He shrugged his shoulders, "I woke up a few times but it was too dark to tell the time," he explained, looking at his own watch briefly, "I don't think I even bothered to check," he confessed a moment later, he'd been exhausted, maybe even a little delirious the few times he'd woken up, irritated by the sand, the cold wind chill, the sound of other boys snoring and talking in their sleep.

Dash Dash distracted himself from Kian’s bonkers, nauseating interpretation of his suggestion with what Lukas had to say. “He's pretty batshit for doing that but can’t imagine they’ll find anything useful on him, unless they plan on hocking the fancy watch when we get out of here. Other than that, he’s probably just got a busted Juul, a nipple piercing, and a few kroner he planned on slipping to the flight attendant for a splash of Stoli in his OJ. None of which are super beneficial to our survival.” As the conversation continued on the topic of Chud and Chuddier, he scoffed lightly when Kian said ‘human jockstrap’. Dash used a similar phrase the other day too and he wasn’t stoked about their thoughts running parallel right about then. He wasn’t stoked about some dude hating him on sight either, but whatever. He poked at the ground with the flat edge of the stick. “My bet’s Mayor of Poutineville’s concussed to hell. Goddamned walking, talking potatohead. Dude operates on nothing but pure, scrambled egg-brain aggression. Rabid dog ass — no fuckin’ hope for the guy.” He stopped when they soon hit a relatively clear area, not too dense with trees and not so far from the beach that they couldn’t hear the sound of the ocean waves or catch the odd glimpse of sand. There was enough shade that the air felt cooler too, and he was sure that it’d be easy to find again. In a pure asinine move, Dash thought hopefully 'hey, maybe Warren'll like it here.' He leaned on his stick and surveyed the dirt like he had any real idea of what he was doing. When he dug a hole for the little rat dog back home, the soil had been pretty sandy. He hoped they had a similar experience here, because he didn’t wanna lug rocks around on top of burying a body. It had to be immoral for a day to be physically and emotionally exhausting. “How’s here?”

Lukas Lukas couldn't help but feel a little elated when Kian joined in on the trash talking, his choice of words especially tickling him. " That's fuckin' true, ay, " he agreed, more than happy to accept that Sebastian and Callum were so easily annoyed by him because they were jealous of his sparkling personality. Even if that was not what Kian had meant in the slightest. " For sure, dude, " he concord with Dash on the topic of Callum without missing a beat. " Yo, you know who they remind me of? " Enthusiasm quickly filling his tone, looking to Kian and Dash, " You ever play Outlast? " He did not stop and wait for an answer to that question, though he probably should have, " The fucking twin meatheads from that. The ones that just like walk around the map, like, " He severely hunched his shoulders, arms dangling comically at his sides as he pulled his face into an over exaggerated expression for the next few goofy steps before he straightened up again. " Dicks out and just saying weird as fuck shit to creep you out. " Lukas was misremembering a lot of details but he could not forget the fact that those characters had been naked the entire fucking game, seemingly for no reason. That image had been seared into his brain in 2013 like a curse and he had not been able to forget it. By the time he's finished his comparison, Dash had stopped in a clearing. When he asked how's here, Lukas actually looked around the place. It seemed as good a place as they could get without putting in, like, actual effort so it seemed perfect. " Yeah, here's probably good. " He dug at the ground with the heel of his shoe, noting how it moved easily out of his way. " Ground's not too hard. " he assessed before moving again. Drawing out an approximately Warren-sized rectangle with the stick he'd picked up, before kneeling to the ground, ready to dig. " How deep d'you think? Like two, three feet? "

Kian Kian could only blink at Lukas's comparison, nose wrinkling in disgust as he tried not to imagine Callum and Sebastian running around camp with their dicks out. Unlike Dash, he couldn't seem to decide who was the worst offender of the two; in his book, a cunt was a cunt was a cunt. He followed the other boys to the clearing and stomped around a bit in the dirt, testing the soil's softness with the soles of his trainers. "Yeah, I'd say a meter at the least. We want it to be deep enough for the animals to keep away, but not so deep we can't get him back out." If they'd have to dig him back out. Personally, Kian was hoping that the rescue team came armed with shovels. "Anyone have objections to using their hands?" He asked with a pointed glance at Dash.

Callum "Hm," was all Callum could think of to say in response to Sebastian. Out of all them, the other boy was clearly one of the most upset with Warren yesterday. But seeing as Sebastian was also one of the first to dive in to save Warren, Callum didn't feel the need to prod for further information. "We need to ask Sawyer what the hell the two of them were doing last night after we left when he gets back here. And what time they fell asleep. All that." He tucked Warren's watch into the pocket of his pants, looking around for sign of Sawyer. "Why the hell is he taking so long? It's a blanket, not a pile of rocks." He shook his head, irritated. Then he shifted his gaze to JJ. "Did you find anything?"

Dash Dash shook his head but still watched Lukas act out the so-called Dick Out Twins with sincere fascination. “Sheee-it. Uncanny resemblance, dude. You even got that bowlegged caveman shtick down pat.” The internet told his mom that they had to bury the dog at least three feet to keep any predators from digging him up, so Dash nodded when Lukas suggested that depth. His eyes still went skyward when Kian agreed, because wasn’t that motherfucker just giving him shit about the very same topic because ‘there are no bobcats in Hawaii’ like five minutes ago? If Dash said it, it was bullshit. But if Kian said it, it was apparently obvious fact. Good to know! he thought sarcastically. At Kian’s question, Dash hummed contemplatively. “Huh. Okay. Here’s the plan,” he started, walking closer to where Lukas drew a rectangle in the dirt. “When the Russians spot us on their satellites and decide to hit up their Navy—yunno, headed up by Nikita Khrushchev's chemically preserved ballsack—and then a rusty little battlecruiser rolls up to haul us to the Gulag, I’m gonna ask Count Admiral Baba Yaga to take out his busted Samsung and google the Ancient fuckin’ Mesoamericans for you.” Dash lifted the stick for emphasis. “Digging stick. It’s a thing, and I’m gonna use it.” He suddenly felt very sure of his expertise as a man who had dug literally one (1) hole in the woods in his lifetime, and ignored the fact that he only doubled down once Kian gave him such a hard time. He stuck the flat end of the stick into the ground and pressed downward. There was some resistance, possibly a shallow root snapping under the pressure, then he bent it to upend a large chunk of dirt. “Hooty-fuckin’-hoo, it works," he announced, voice dripping with performative surprise. "Now let's just get this shit over with. This morning sucks enough already."

Sawyer Sawyer took a few minutes to gather himself before he returned with the space blanket, eyes rimmed red and torso covered with the sweatshirt he'd been wearing on the plane. Didn't make much sense for him to hold onto a dirty wife-beater covered in another person's blood...a dead person's blood, at that. This way, he figured, he could at least be comfortable and respectful. "S'got a couple holes in it," he sniffed, unfolding the blanket as he approached, "y'know, from the fire and all, but I figure we can stuff 'em with grass if we really wanna..." His voice trailed off when he spotted JJ, knelt at Warren's side with his hands down his pockets. Even beneath the warm inner lining of his sweatshirt, Sawyer's blood ran cold. "...Seriously? We're fuckin' lootin' him, now?"

Kian Dash, Kian was convinced by now, was just inventing names and facts for the sole purpose of making himself sound smarter, although it was obvious to anyone with ears that the guy was a complete and total prat. And Kian would've pointed this out to him had he not proceeded to shove his stick in the ground and flick dirt everywhere, onto Kian's shoes, his shins, his clothes. Dickhead. "Are you taking the piss right now? You're getting shit everywhere, we'll go a lot faster if we just use our fucking hands."

Liam in all honesty, liam wasn’t paying attention, he was off to the side and trying to keep what very little control he had over his emotions. his eyes kept wandering to group of boys standing over warren but every time he glanced at the boy laying there, he could feel his chest tighten and anxiety bubble up inside him. that’s going to be all of us. we’re all going to die here, he thought to himself as he sat on the ground, hands gripping his hair against his scalp. he tried to think back to the last thing he said to his siblings, probably something dumb like don’t touch my things or don’t go in my room. now he wished he had told them he loved them one last time. just as he was getting sucked into these thoughts, he heard sawyer come back to the group. his head shot up and he wiped his eyes quickly as if it wasn’t already obvious that he had been crying. “they think he might have something useful on him,” he chimed in, as if sawyer couldn’t figure that out on his own, but liam didn’t know what else to say without breaking down completely.

Lukas " Thank you, " Lukas gave a facetious bow when at least Dash seemed impressed with his impression. Arms extended out to the side then straightening up with a grin. If it wasn't for the fact that they then very soon afterwards stopped to dig a literal grave, Lukas could have almost forgotten the body that had been found less than an hour ago. When Kian brought it up, he crinkled his nose a little at the idea of using his hands, or honestly digging the hole at all. But it seemed the suggestion was not for him, but for Dash, who was still holding onto that stick and quickly started making a case for it. A case with a lot of words that kinda just went right over Lukas' head to be honest. However, when the stick launched a collection of dirt into the air (mostly onto Kian), he couldn't help the laugh that escaped him. And it was only made funnier when Kian responded in anger with that fucking accent. Hand on his stomach as he tried to subdue it. " Okay, okay– as fuckin' funny as that was, ol' Alfred Pennyworth's got a point, hands will probably be quicker. " That's what she said. But before he gave in to covering himself in dirt completely, he took off his sweater, about to toss it behind him before he paused to offer it out to Dash. " You want it? So you don't fuck with your nice Neil Bar-whatever? " He asked, brows raised. He could not remember that fashion name for the life of him, but he assumed Dash still cared far more about his clothes than Lukas did his own. Then glance to Kian, holding up the front of the remaining two layers he'd slept in. " Got one more layer up for grabs if you want it. " Because even with two of the least threatening of the group, Lukas was still not gonna show his chest. And he'd feel like sort of a dick offering Dash something and not Kian, even if the dude was already covered in dirt.

Sawyer “Useful,” Sawyer echoed after Liam, huffing a dry laugh as he traded his sorrow for anger. As if the dead kid was hiding a secret cellphone or something from them - he barely knew how to use a radio when he was alive. “Why don’t we just strip his clothes while we’re at it? Can even use his fuckin’ sneakers as tinder for the fire. Fuck ‘im. Fuck his folks who might want somethin’ to remember him by.”

Callum Fucking finally. Callum thought it'd take ages for Sawyer to get back. "We got a keepsake to give his parents." Well, he did but Callum didn't care to get into the specifics. What he did care about was what the hell Sawyer and Warren were doing up there last night. "What the hell were you and Warren doing up there last night?" He asked, brows slanted downwards in a frown.

Sawyer His gaze flickered to Callum's shoes before they found his face, jaw working like not going off on the guy who just rubbed Sawyer's nose in shit over someone else's death caused him physical pain. "I told you, we were..." Didn't he tell them? They were drinking. Talking, about what fuck-ups they were and how they ended up at the retreat. At least, that's how he remembered it - brandy always made his memory a little hazy at the edges. "Drinkin'. Some of that fancy cognac he smuggled with him on the plane."

Callum "Drinking?" Callum repeated. "That's it? You were drinking one moment and Warren was taking a swan dive off the cliff the next?" Was that insensitive? Probably. But Callum needed Sawyer to hear how fucking vague that sounded. "I'm trying to get some context for why this fucker would off himself, and all you're gonna tell me is that you two were drinking." He scoffed and shook his head. "What else? Were you talking about anything?"

Sawyer "Nah, we drank in fuckin' silence." Callum's edge, no doubt, was starting to rub off on Sawyer, sharpening his tongue like the blade of a knife. Fuck was he supposed to say? That Warren told him he was gonna jump off a cliff and Sawyer said 'sounds good, man, I'll just leave you to it'? It wasn't that simple. Nothing in life was that fucking simple. "Y'know, I don't know if...it were an accident, or if he did it on purpose, but if I was askin' myself what might'a pushed someone to make a decision like that, I think I'd start with the ones threatenin' to off 'im the night before," he said, tapping his temple.

Liam liam's eyes went between the two boys as things started to heat up, blame being thrown around. as someone who preferred to avoid conflict all together, liam chimed in. "maybe we shouldn't be pointing fingers, yesterday was super fucking stressful but whether this was an accident or if he did it... on purpose," liam had to pause to swallow down the lump in his throat, "we can't be putting that on sawyer."

Callum Callum squared his jaw. He thought back to the last thing he'd said to Warren. You fucking idiot! That was our only chance! The last thing he could remember anyway. He walked off to cool his temper before he did something stupid, like break Warren's jaw in three places. Callum just wanted someone to blame, to direct whatever was going on inside of him at someone, and he couldn't very well do that with a dead boy. "Oh, fuck you," Callum shot back. "We may have been pissed with Warren yesterday, but we went back to camp, tired as hell. You think one of us had it in us to hike all the way back up there and throw him off in our state? And you fucking heard Sebastian, it was too dark to fucking seeing anything even if any of us did wake up so there's no way it could have been one of us, and all the more reason it could have been you." That was a little out of left field but Callum was angry and it was all he had. "You're telling me you weren't pissed off with Warren? Who's to say you didn't get drunk, start spouting horrible shit to fuck with him, and that sent him over? Or maybe you just pushed him off yourself, fuckin' criminal," he spat venomously.

Sawyer So, admittedly, the laugh that escaped Sawyer the second ol' fuckin' Dudley Do-Right accused him of second-degree murder didn't exactly help his defense, but sue him. He couldn't help it. Back in Conrad, he'd been called all sorts of nasty things to his face - from felon to fairy - so he wasn't too miffed by having his criminal record thrown back in his face like a handful of sand. What did unnerve Sawyer was the implication that he was a violent drunk, the kind of person who yelled and raged and hurt people after a few drinks. After a fucking nightcap, at that. "Pushed 'im?" He said, each word dripping with disbelief-tinged mania. "Pushed 'im? You think this is a fuckin' Tarantino movie? Is that it? Are y'all so goddamned sheltered in Moose Nut, Canada that everyone with a parkin' ticket looks like cold-blooded killer?"

Callum "Yeah, pushed him," Callum echoed derisively, stepping forward. He wanted to rile Sawyer up to see what he was capable of. A hand of his balled into a fist at his side. He couldn't tell what part of the Hick's comeback irritated him more but the dig at his home country definitely didn't sit right with him. All Callum knew was that he had to get his hands on Sawyer so that's what he did. Crossing over, he held his hands out and shoved the boy. "Yeah, pushed him. Like that."

Liam tension between callum and sawyer escalated, and liam felt like his protests were futile as they got into each other's faces. fuck, where the hell is lukas and the others? he thought to himself. he watched as callum pushed sawyer and liam shot up, trying to push his way in between the two of them but considering they both towered over him, they could easily push him aside. "guys, seriously, this isn't helping anything, just stop," he said, raising his voice at them.

Sawyer They hardly needed Liam’s intervention to put any distance between them; Callum was strong enough to send Sawyer stumbling backward with a shove. Like that, Sawyer was in the mess hall at juvie again, getting pulled into fights with the rougher guys because they were bored and he was an easy target, big bark and little bite. And when Callum pushed him, he wanted to push him back. Worse, even—he wanted to punch him in the fucking throat. “Yeah, Pretty Boy,” said Sawyer, grinning ear-to-ear over Liam’s head, “would be a shame for you break a nail fightin’ the criminal.”

Sebastian Sebastian was getting tired of people pointing fingers in his direction when he had just as much reason to suspect any of them of foul play. He'd been asleep on the beach for most of the night, he'd already said as much so why did it still keep coming back to the argument he'd had with Warren a whole day ago? "Unless you're saying you were so blacked, you wouldn't have noticed one of us coming up on the cliff, you wouldn't have heard a struggle and you wouldn't have heard him screaming as he fell- and if you're happy to go ahead with that summation, you'll also have to accept that you were too blacked to remember what the fuck you said to him or what he said to you or what happened after that. You could have been messing around, accidentally tripped him over- or you coulda been mad about the radio, pushed him," he insisted, "Alcohol changes people- I don't know what kind of drunk you are, do you? I'd make sure your name is clear before you start throwing anybody else's on the table, huh?"

Sawyer Sawyer did not have “get gaslit into thinking you might’ve committed a murder while drunk” on his vacation bingo card, but neither did he have “become stranded on a desert island,” so he supposed he still had a thing or two to learn from the local senior living home. The spark in his stomach fizzled out with the last of Sebastian’s cold analysis, a flame touched, expression falling from a manic grin to a hollow, tight-jawed stare. People could say what they wanted about him: that he was a hick, a petty criminal, a burnout with no fucking future. But Sawyer had never laid his hands on another person—not on anyone who hadn’t laid theirs on him, first—and he’d never used his buzz to put out someone else’s. “Fuck you,” he said, voice wavering. “You don’t know jack shit about me.”

Joe Joe couldn't believe they were having the most stressful game of Cludeo ever over Warren's fresh corpse. Where the fuck were Pinky and The Brain and Kian ? Maybe the others would see sense and realise that accusing an innocent guy of murder wasn't going to fix anything once their focus was on burying Warren's body. "Everybody simmer down.",Joe moved to Callum's side. Somebody had to be there in case the situation escalated beyond shoving and Thumbelina wasn't going to be much use. Bless Liam for trying but with his mild manner and short stature compared to the other boys he could easily be ignored."Baseless murder accusations aren't going to fix anything. We don't have any reason to believe Sawyer murdered Warren, there's only circumstantial evidence. Couldn't Warren have just fallen because he was hammered?"

Blue he wasnt proud of it, but blue could not see the boys without picturing their fates the same as Warren's, and he slipped out to go yell at the water, and write dirty words in the sand just to watch the water take them back, it might have been an odd grieving process but it was his, and as he returned to the group, the air was so tense he, he instinctly reaching his pocket for his phone to see 204 unread messages and feel the dread. but there wasn't anything there, the dread wasn't contained to the tiny electric box, it pumped through the mob's veins and they breathed it back into the air. he looked to each one, lingering a but before speaking it. "hey boys, the fucks all this?" his tone sounded fatherly, concerned but orderly, and he got the chilly feeling that warrens blood wasn't the only time theyd see the red stuff tonight.

Kian Alfred Whomst? Kian opened his mouth to make a quick retort, but was beat to the chase when Lukas offered him his...shirt? It read you're too close in bold, angry red letters, which just about summed up how Kian felt about the two boys he'd made the terrible decision to come grave-digging with. "Fuck's sake," he muttered, looking off into the jungle for a few silent moments as he contemplated his life choices. "Just...give it here, then."

Lukas Stupid grin spread on Lukas' features when Kian, albeit begrudgingly, accepted offer of a protective t-shirt. Pulling it off, he made sure to grab the white long sleeve underneath so it didn't lift up as he removed the top layer. Removal successful he held it out across the drawn rectangle for him. Pushing his own sleeves up to his elbows once hands were empty and announcing " Let's get to it then, " kneeling down on the ground and starting to dig. " Before the Dick Twins get over here and try and find something else to be assholes about. "

Dash The only thing that truly kept Dash from laughing aloud at the way Kian’s voice went high and warbly in his Peppa Pig accent was the fact that the hole they were all bitching about would soon occupy an actual human body. But even that just kept it at bay. When Lukas agreed with Kian, he snorted—the proffered sweater going a long way in quickly smoothing down any ruffled feathers. Dash pressed his lips together, but felt the fight slowly leave him when he suddenly just felt tired. He couldn’t sworn he slept the whole night, but he definitely didn’t feel it. He sighed heavily, stretching his arms out and letting the stick fall by his side. Dash had every intention of bringing it back to camp, regardless of whether or not it had any other use than as a makeshift shovel. “This is not a concession,” he started, and gently pulled his own sweater over his head and folded it neatly to place on the ground. He only had a white t-shirt on underneath but even that was Tom Ford, so he didn’t hesitate to take Lukas’ offer a moment longer. “This? It’s an act of benevolence.” His voice went slightly muffled for a moment as Lukas’ Thrasher sweatshirt went over his head. “We’ve spent more time arguing than getting this shit done, so I’ll throw you a bone here.” With a grimace, and a silent miserable thought about his pants, he got down next to Lukas and dug.

Kian Lukas's shirt was smaller and tighter than the baggy one Kian had on underneath, causing the sleeves to pillow out at his elbows like some kind of weird pirate tunic. He exhaled sharply through his nose. Fuck. This. Properly incensed, Kian knelt across from the Americans and began to claw his way through the dirt. Unlike Dash, however, he at least made sure not to kick it up everywhere. "Would you stop calling them that?" He huffed. "The last thing I want to think about is Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dipshit stomping around camp with their pricks out."

Lukas Lukas wondered if Kian saw the irony in him grumbling out some complaint about his hilarious joke the second after Dash had said they'd spent too much time arguing already. " You knew exactly who I was talkin' about though, and it only took two seconds to say, " he defended as he dug. Defending the phrase for no reason other than he didn't want to talk about the fact that a dead body would be heading towards them any minute now. And god forbid they fall into silence and he just had to think about the dead body again. He's stomach churned just a fraction, so he quickly continued. " Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dipshit is good, but could be anyone, " for example, it could have very easily been used to identify Lukas and Dash.

Kian "Bert and Ernie, then. Literally anyone else." Kian had hardly even made a dent in the ground before his nails were caked with dirt, and if he hadn't spent the better half of his childhood digging through the mud for bugs to show Clarke, he would have been disgusted at the state of them. God, let there be a freshwater lake in the wilderness for him to wash off in. "Besides," he said, wiping hair out of his face with the back of his sleeve, "I think they're the sort to be flattered that you think about them naked so often."

Dash Dash let a low whistle as he tossed a pebble over his shoulder. He didn’t think flattered would actually be the appropriate word for how those two would feel if they knew Lukas had mentioned their names in relation to dicks. “I think the word you’re looking for is disgusted, actually. Or, uh. Vein-throbbingly violent? Like, on the edge of going full-on berserk.” He scooped out another handful of dirt and already felt exhausted by the whole endeavor. Dash reminded himself that they were doing this for what was a good cause and it’d be fucked up if he sat back now. “Gay bash-y, definitely, but whatever.” He gritted his teeth as he came across another root. Fuckin’ weak ass trees and their weak ass roots. Some of the ones back home were similar, always getting blown to shit by every passing hurricane. He stood enough just to bring his heel down hard enough to snap it. “Wait, just to confirm, we’re in agreement that Lord Humungus took the kill shot, right?” he asked Lukas.

Lukas Lukas didn't know where the fuck Kian had got the idea that Gigantor and his Mini Me would be flattered that Lukas was talking about them in such a fashion, but he definitely disagreed. Thankfully, Dash quickly put his thoughts into words. " Yeah, that's more the vibe I'm getting, for sure. " Lukas agreed, eyes staying down on his hands as he dug for a moment. Just get this fucking over with, get Warren in the ground and then they could move on. Eyes lifted when Dash spoke again, meeting his and for the second time today having to disagree with him. " I think he totally could have. You know, definitely had motive and means down, " Start with agreement, wasn't that a debate thing? He didn't fucking know, he wasn't a debate weeb. " But opportunity? " He sucked his teeth, eyes back to the ground as he continued making work on the grave. " Unless he turns into a fucking werewolf at night, there's no way he would've been able to make his way up there in the middle of the night. It was dark as fuck. " Okay maybe there were a couple of ways, but Lukas wasn't sold. " So, like, maybe he did it, I dunno. But what are we supposed to do about it? "

Kian Lord Humungus? Did he mean Sebastian? "Think he's just upset he didn't push him off himself when he had the chance," said Kian. Because Lukas had a point (as much as it pained him to admit), it was way too fucking dark for Sebastian to be able to get up, hike all the way up that cliff to murder Warren, and slink back before sunrise without anyone noticing. All signs pointed to Warren's death being an accident - a shit, unfortunate fucking accident. Kian picked a worm out of the shallow hole he'd created and flung it into the grass. "I'm not taking my chances with him, though. You saw the way he choked Switzerland out - he's definitely out for blood."

Dash "Involuntary manslaughter, then." If that's what it even was called. "Lack of oxygen gave him a big brain booboo which lead to the guy seizing like a motherfucker. Bumble balled it right over the ledge.” Dash raised his eyebrows like, huh? How about that? But what could they even do about that? He didn’t know fuck-all about like, obtaining quote-unquote justice. The whole system was wanky back home, so pulling from real life examples didn't really vibe with him. Plus, there was the whole... they were stuck on an island thing. The best he could come up with was: "Uh. Banish him to the other side of this tropical limbo to go think about what he's done?" He kept digging, and digging, and digging. It couldn't have been a more boring activity, and he wished the other guys would hurry with the body if only so they'd have more hands on deck. Dash tilted his head to the side in lackluster agreement with Kian. Lackluster because he kinda hated to agree with him right then. "For suuuure. I can really respect Warren's kinky side, but that shit's not in my wheelhouse."

Liam clearly, no one was paying attention to anything liam was saying since the giants of the group wanted to keep going back and forth at each other, blue and joe chiming in with a more level headed approach, but liam was already over it. he understood that everything was stressful and the past few days have been a roller coaster, but he couldn't deal with the fact that the others would rather fight with each other than take care of warren's body. he pushed his way out from in between the other boys, "fuck this," he muttered to himself as he walked away from the group. if they weren't going to be helpful, the least he could do was go find the others and see where they are at with digging. he took one last glance at warren, which was probably a mistake because the second he did, he felt the familiar tightening in his chest again. looking away quickly, liam started the walk to the others and hoped he wouldn't get lost in the process. though, being lost in the jungle was starting to seem like a better option than being stuck with all the toxic masculinity of the other group. alone and walking, he finally let himself feel everything and didn't stop his tears until he started to hear the three boys talking. he ran his hands over his face and took a deep breath to compos himself before stepping out to make himself known. "uh, how's it going here? do you guys need help?"

Lukas Lukas made a small chyeah sound with an accompanying chuckle when Dash suggested involuntary manslaughter. Even though it appeared he had more experience with the justice system than these two, specifically in a case of involuntary manslaughter, he didn't think they could prove such a thing. Even with the, what? 14 witnesses? 13 now he supposed. They couldn't even convince one another, how could they convince a court of people who hadn't even been there. He kept digging. " What, like Survivor? " He asked when Dash suggested banishing Sebastian. " Even if he didn't kill Warren I wouldn't be against sending him the fuck away just so I didn't have to see him stand around and brood all fucking day. " Though part of him wanted Sebastian to stay close, so they could see when the eventual murderous rampage was coming on. He's about to tack on some crude joke about Warren getting choked out to what Kian and Dash were saying but that's when he hears a voice behind him. Head turning to look and stupid smile widening on his features. " Yo! " Same shirt! Lukas thought again, even though Dash was currently wearing his Thrasher sweater. " Yeah, for sure, get in here. " He tilted his head back to the grave, resuming his digging while Liam pulled up a spot. " So, the fuck were the others up to that you decided digging a grave was the better option? " He asked, chuckle falling from his lips at the very circumstances. Even if this was definitely the better group of people, by Lukas' definition, Liam had stayed with the others a while before joining them, Lukas figured something must have been happening.

Liam liam tried to muster up as much of genuine smile as he could despite the fact that his had just spent a better part of his walk over crying. he looked between the three boys, noting the progress they achieved in the amount of time it took the other group to do literally nothing but fight and point fingers. with a nod, he walked over to them, getting on his knees at the edge of where they were digging and started to help. he let out a broken laugh when lukas asked what was going on, he couldn't even hold it in because the whole situation seemed ridiculous. "they're fucking not doing shit. jj's, like, looting his shit because he's not going to need it. which fair, but he just went straight to it. everyone's pointing fingers. and sawyer got the emergency blanket but as soon he came back, him and the one tall roid head started going at each other because apparently sawyer and warren were drinking last night and they think it's his fault. then fucking gigantor came in and amped everything up." liam realized he was probably talking pretty fast and agitated and he rambled, so he paused and took a second to catch his breath. "i just- i needed to get out of there. none of them would listen to me."

Kian "Fuck's sake," Kian said for the second time in the span of ten minutes, pushing his momentary annoyance at yet another member joining their group aside to express his utter exasperation at the sheer dickheadness of the dickheads on this island. JJ being a weirdo didn't shock him; nor did Thing 1 and Thing 2 using someone's death to be complete pricks to everyone around them. "What did I tell you? Out for blood."

Dash Dash looked over his shoulder when he heard a new voice, and his brow furrowed. Liam looked a helluva lot like a guy who had just been crying, and Dash could vaguely recall him getting a little choked up when he had still been loitering around Warren’s body. Clearly he was taking this hard. The threat of a big-d Death was annoying and years-long over the course of his life, so he could forget that someone's shit could get really rocked by the whole thing if they had never lived like that. “You good, dude?” he asked, only a little awkward in execution. Being on the receiving end of a barrage of friendly check-ins didn't really make him any better at extending them. As Liam recounted what was up on the beach, Dash rolled his eyes. Day Three of hanging around these reprobates and he already wasn't shocked by some of their behaviors. JJ looting a body? Bit fucked, but not totally out of left field. He was sure the guy still had multitudes of weirdness to expose though. "Okay, cringe. But, uh, did they find anything?" he had to ask, still a little curious if he was right about the nipple piercing thing. Kian’s out for blood comment spurred him to continue: “And is anyone bleeding yet? Someone should probably them it’s kinda tacky to duke it out in front of a dead body.” Warren’s body. Dash grimaced, and went back to digging.

Callum Callum huffed grumpily when Joe came by his side and diffused the situation. "All the stories Warren tells about taking champagne up his ass and having to swim in whiskey before he feels anything, you think a fucking flask got him hammered? That's a joke." He stayed glaring at Sawyer. Then Blue came into the picture. "Something is up and this criminal's just too good at hiding it." Callum couldn't help but take another dig at Sawyer.

Sawyer Sawyer should’ve taken comfort in the fact that the other boys, some of whom he’d barely even spoken to, were willing to stick their necks out for him. He should’ve heeded Liam’s advice, walked away when he had the opportunity to do so with his hands clean. There were a lot of things in life he should’ve, could’ve, would’ve done if he were a better man. But there was something in Callum’s tone—an undercurrent, heat simmering beneath the surface of his icy demeanor—that made him see red. Who gave him the right to speak about somebody like that? He didn’t know Sawyer. None of these assholes knew any more about him than he did of them. His limbs moved of their own accord before his head even had time to process what was happening, tackling Callum to the floor of the impacted sand, arm reeling back and fist connecting with his smug fucking face—once, twice, until his knuckles began to split. “Fuck you,” he spat. “Fuck you—”

Sebastian Sebastian couldn't deny that Callum had made a good point about Warren's alcohol tolerance. The kid seemed to actually be more efficient with a little booze in his system than he was without- so how were they supposed to believed he'd managed to get so plastered the night before that he'd toppled off of a cliff all by himself? Something wasn't adding up and Sawyer's increasing irritation was only adding to fuel to the conspiracy fire. "Whoa- hey!" Sebastian called out impulsively as Sawyer leapt at Callum, tackling him into the ground and taking one manic swipe at him after the other. On instinct, he crashed into Sawyer's back, throwing his arms under Sawyer's and pinning them back as he dragged the other boy, rather clumsily, to a standing (ish) position, away from Callum. "Come on, come on, come on," he insisted, for a lack of anything more profound or meaningful to say to either boy. "Bro, somebody fuckin' check on him," he instructed anybody that was listening to aid Callum after the spontaneous beating. "You gonna cool off man?" he asked sawyer, using all his strength to keep his arms in a submissive position with his arms locked between Sebastian's. "-Or we can go for a walk, you gotta choice here," he insisted, giving Sawyer at least some sense of control in an otherwise out of control situation.

Callum "Umpf—!" One second, Callum was throwing Sawyer a dirty look that could piss off a pacifist monk and the next, he was on the ground getting his face rearranged. He should have probably seen this coming with the way he was running his mouth. For a moment, the embarrassment of being put down was worse than the pain of actually getting his face pummeled. Callum was just barely catching up, getting his hands on Sawyer's arms when he felt the boy's weight be pulled off of him entirely. Then he heard Sebastian's voice. Thank fuck, he thought. Relief washing over him for only a moment before the pain set in. "Fucking prison rat..." He muttered, turning his head and spitting out some of the blood in his mouth. "I'm fine," he insisted, swatting a hand before any of the other boys could do something like rush to his aid. He wasn't some pussy, he could get up just fine. Or so he thought when he attempted to sit up and a sharp pain shooting up his back reminded him he was still very much recovering from an unfair bar fight. "Fuck," he grunted, sucking in a sharp breath in an attempt to contain his reaction to the pain.

Sawyer Sawyer could do little more than let out a pained yelp as his arms were wrenched behind his back—Sebastian had all the strength of a corrections officer and less than half of the patience, pulling Sawyer to his feet before he could get a final blow in. “Don’t—fuckin’—touch me!” He tried, in vain, to weasel his way out of the other boy’s firm grip. Fuck him. Fuck Callum. Fuck Warren for dying, fuck the pilot for crashing, fuck his parole officer for sending him on this retreat and fuck him, fuck Sawyer for thinking he could better himself, that you could add bells and whistles to a broken-down car and expect it to get anywhere good. “You wanna talk about me?!” He yelled, eyes stinging hot with tears again. But this time, he wasn’t crying out of guilt or sorrow—rather, the frustration at his inability to control his situation, or anything, had nowhere left to go but out of him. “Huh?! You wanna talk about what kinda drunk I am?! You’re not even good fuckin’ people sober!”

Callum "And what makes you think you are?!" Callum shot back from where he was twisted uncomfortably on his side. "Fuckin', Mr. Criminal Record!" With his back fucked, Callum was all bark and no bite right now. "Take a fucking hike, convict," he spat from where he was on the ground. "We'll carry Warren ourselves. Don't you need you hijacking his ring and that stupid fucking chain around his neck for some spare change and a place to live."

Sawyer The next thing Sawyer did, he wasn’t too proud of (he wasn’t very proud of pummeling Callum to the ground, either, but in the heat of the moment it felt more than deserved). If these guys wanted to assume the worst of him, though, he’d give ‘em a better fucking reason to. He mustered up the last of his resolution to spit at Callum’s immobile form, hoping, childishly, that he felt the touch of cold saliva on his skin, that he felt every bit as tainted by Sawyer’s indecency as Sawyer did. What little dredges of fuck he had left to give died on his fists the moment they made impact with Callum’s face. With a full-bodily jerk, he managed to free himself from Sebastian’s grasp at last, holding his middle fingers up at Callum as he took a few steps backward before he turned his back to the group. He wasn’t hiking back to the camp or the jungle, but to the furthest corners of the beach, where he could melt into the shoreline and imagine himself turning into sea-foam—swept away, all at once, by the tide.

Callum Spitting on him? Really? Callum scoffed and shook his head. Then he watched Sawyer's retreating figure. "Yeah, walk away, convict. We don't need you," he called out. A final nail in the coffin if Sawyer didn't hate him enough already. He brushed his hand against his pants where Sawyer's spit landed, making a face at the wetness that now covered his palm. Gross, he thought. When he figured the boy was far enough, Callum decided it was high time for him to get up and move too. "Can someone give me a hand?" He asked grumpily, after having attempted to get up himself; though he couldn't quite do it without assistance. "And let's get Warren out of here already."

Lukas Lukas couldn't help but grimace as Liam told the three of them what had happened in their absence. Yeah, no, definitely the superior group right here, he thought. Looting, yelling, and pointing fingers at each other. He was only a tiny bit upset to be missing it all. He nodded in agreement at Kian's point. " Dude, they're so fucked, " he commented, pulling more dirt out of the hole. However, he did also kinda want the answers to Dash's questions so he looked to Liam expectantly, waiting an answer. Then Lukas thinks he hears something. Not sure what he looked over his shoulder again with furrowed brow. " Y'all hear that? " he asked the group, his gaze remaining behind him for a second longer. Sounded like yelling, but it was just too far away for Lukas to put any more effort into finding out what it was. As he looked back to the hole, soon to be grave, he was pretty fucking impressed with their efforts. Someone had to be. " That's probably deep enough, right? Looks about two foot, bit over. "

Joe This had to be some kind of divine punishment. There was no way he would be stuck on a desert island with wankers that couldn't go a full day without getting into a punch up if he wasn't tainted in some way. As tempting as it was to leave Callum on the floor Joe knew had to be a bigger person and make some kind of contribution ,he didn't get Sawyer off of Callum and he did a shit job at including Liam. He would have to apologise to Liam later but in that moment his main focus was grabbing Callum's hand and dragging him off the ground. "Oh yeah, yous are going to have to stop being pricks for a second because we need to move Warren. Is there a technique to moving bodies?"

Callum Callum let himself be pulled up by Joe, offering a short grunt of 'thanks' in appreciation once he was back on his feet. He dusted himself off, scoffed a little at being referred to as a prick, and answered Joe's query. "Not that I know of. But we got the blanket–" Thanks to Sawyer, who he did not care to credit or mention even if there was a gun to his head. "–we'll lay Warren on there, and there's..." He counted whoever remained. Him, Sebastian, Joe, and Blue. Perfect. "Four of us. So each take a corner and just carry him like that I guess." He shrugged. Heavy lifting wasn't a great idea with his back all knotted up and achy like it was right now but Callum figured with three other guys helping carry the load, it shouldn't be too bad. He walked over to the lower half of Warren's body and grabbed his ankles. "Someone get the top half of this kid please. And the rest just like, hold the blanket down flat, hands on the corners."

Blue blue told himself that it was like carrying an injured teammate, you'll pull your brother up, move him off the ice, the nurses patch him up, or that one time when he had to visit beau at the hospital...but he needed that visualization to make it through this strange night. as he placed the blanket down with the others, and then took a step back, all of that went away and the darkness all around enveloped him. "does anyone know the song from sound of music? the sad one?"

Kian It was easy to block out the events of that morning when you had nothing to do but dig and dig until your arms ached. Moving meant you had less time to think, and the less time you had to think, the less time you had to feel. Mostly, Kian just felt numb...and like, he couldn't figure out whether that made him a shit person or not. That he could look at a dead body and feel nothing but a sense of disgust and dread, like if he stared for too long, the clutches of death would reach out and grab him by the wrist. Scary shit. He scoffed at Lukas's remarks, blowing a piece of hair out of his eyes. "Two feet's not deep enough. It has to be a meter, so, like...three." God. Fuck the Yanks and their stupid measurement system. "You can go tell the others to hurry the fuck up if you want, though."

Lukas Personally, if Lukas was wearing someone else's shirt to prevent dirt getting on him, he probably wouldn't be such a dick to them. Well– he probably would but that didn't stop him from being offended when Kian had a go at him. " I said two and a bit, didn't I? " he rebutted, begrudgingly returning to digging. " And you've gotta give the metres thing up, you're clearly fuckin' outnumbered here. " He cast a glance to Dash and Liam as if to say, right guys? As for going back to the others, however, he shook his head adamantly " No fucking way, I'll fuckin' puke, " again. You would fucking puke again, Lukas. " You can go tell them if you want though, " he offered back to Kian, being completely facetious. He didn't think there was any way any of them were volunteering to go back and tell the others what to do. " Tell them all about how we've got a metre " he poorly mimicked the other's accent for that word and that word alone, " deep hole here and they need to hurry up, you and Warren would look good with matching hickeys. "

Liam liam looked to dash when he asked if he was okay, and again he tried to put on a brave face and pretend like everything was okay. "yeah, i'm good," he said despite being the opposite. liam has never experienced death before, not even a pet. even if they hadn't known warren long and he was pretty annoying, it still made reality hit him hard. "i don't know if they found anything good, i wasn't really paying attention," i was trying to not cry in front of everyone he finished in his head. but then kian seemed annoyed by how deep they should go and lukas teasing him about meters. liam just looked up at the others and shrugged. he didn't see what the big deal was. "they probably wont even listen to you," he mumbled. "they didn't listen to me. they're too busy seeing who's dick is bigger by ganging up on sawyer." he just hoped they were done being dicks long enough to actually get to moving warren over here.

Kian If Lukas's hastiness didn't tick him off, that piss-poor imitation of his accent certainly did. He did not sound like that - Kian could pronounce his r's just fine, thank you very much. With a saccharine-sweet smile, he took the next fistful of damp soil from the ground and flicked it in Lukas's direction. "There. Now it's two and some more." Prick. Liam was much more tolerable than the other two prats, if only for the fact that he seldom talked and always looked like he was on the verge of tears. No wonder he couldn't stick it out with the meatheads, Kian thought. "The one from jail? Why're they ganging up on him?"

Liam he grimaced at the comment. the one from jail. everyone was so focused on the fact that sawyer had been to jail, he wondered what all of the others would think if they knew he had a record too. sure, his was probably much less than sawyers, but they really didn't know anything about each other. "yeah, him. because he was the last to see warren alive and i guess they were drinking last night. they think he got drunk and killed him or something." saying it out loud sounded so ridiculous. even if they didn't know each other well, he couldn't see sawyer doing it. after all, sebastian was the one who choked the dude out.

Lukas He's late to see the handful of dirt flying at him but still he tries to bat it away, leaning back as he did. As if that would help. Looking down at the mess, he couldn't help but snort another chuckle again. How fucking stupid was this whole situation. He thought as he returned to digging. He glanced to Liam as he spoke, but then he laughed again when he revealed the others had been pointing at Sawyer as the cause of Warren's death. " You're joking, Sawyer? Seriously? " He chuckled, giving it a moment to gage that Liam was in fact serious. While Kian was pretty keen to keep bringing up Sawyer's record, Lukas wondered if he was the only one who remembered the cowboy had admitted it was for auto theft. Plus, if a criminal record was all you needed to be a murderer then well shit, guess him and Liam were on their way to the janky island electric chair too. " That's fucked. " He shook his head, still amused but at least a fraction more somber about it now. " There's no way they actually think that, they're just tryna shift the blame 'cause they know they're the most fucking suspect. "

Kian For the first time, Kian and Lukas were on the same wavelength; he couldn't help but let out an ugly guffaw when Liam revealed that some of them were now accusing others of murder. Yeah, no. Sawyer was way too friendly to kill someone - and not in a, like, American Psycho way, but in a weird uncle who drinks too much and mistakes you for your sister way. Believe him, Kian sat across from the guy on the plane. He knew a person who spiked their drinks in secret when he saw one. "And besides, Warren was dumb enough to nearly fall off a cliff without alcohol. What makes them think he didn't just take a long walk off a short ledge when he was trying to piss or something?"

Liam "that's what i thought too," liam chimed in. warren didn't seem like the brightest person sober, nearly walking off the cliff just hours before. "i think they're all so focused on making sure they don't look guilty that they're trying to put the blame on someone else. but i think we all know that if anyone did anything, there are far more convincing people than sawyer."

Kian "Like that JJ fucker," said Kian, eyes going wide. "Swear, I haven't seen him so much as smile since we got here. I think he's a proper psychopath."

Dash Dash didn’t really believe Liam’s ‘I’m good’ and made a mental note to check in on the little dude later. He might not be a total help to him, of course, but it made Dash at least feel like he had something to fill his day after this hellish morning instead of staring vacantly at the ocean. Drops of sweat gathered on his brow from exertion as he listened the other guys contemplate who to point fingers at. "You know where I stand on this whole thing, man,” he said. “Chokey time, brain damage, mouth frothing and a one-way ticket cliffside — ipso facto: Gigantor’s fault.” Dash wiped the moisture away with the back of his hand, and tiredly thought that maybe he should’ve taken his aunt up on the repeated offer to join her at her godforsaken, soul-sucking cycling class. He stood to inspect their work—the boundary of the hole came up to his thigh-ish, edging toward his hip—and stamped down a boot to flatten the earth beneath his foot. “Jesus...” he spoke under his breath, then continued aloud, “Is this finally a fuckin' meter or what?"

Kian Kian sat back on his haunches, heaving a sigh. Grave-digging was no easy task on its own, but having a sweaty mop on your head and a boa constrictor wrapped around your chest put it on equal footing with, like, running laps. Or building pyramids with tree branches. "Proper fuckin' meter," he said, ricocheting right off of Pink Floyd, "where the fuck are the pallbearers?"

Callum Callum made a face at Blue. "The fuck. No?" He shook his head. "Can we just focus on getting Warren out of here?" He asked, his patience thinning quickly with his back pain. Once everyone was in position and Warren was safely wrapped in the emergency blanket, the boys hauled him off, proceeding across the beach until they came across the boys responsible for digging Warren's grave. "Yo, you guys done?" Callum asked when he was close enough to be heard by the other boys. They looked like they've been busy digging so Callum hoped they were, and didn't just spend all this time fucking around.

Dash It was like Kian’s pure pissiness summoned the ‘pallbearers’. Dash looked up from where he watched a shiny beetle scuttle around his boot and was met with a real one-two of shitty and honestly fairly gratifying images. One being Warren’s body, wrapped up like a shoddy mummy—that was horseshit—and the second the pretty black eye developing on Callum’s face. Dash was a pacifist by nature but it was still a refreshing look, if you asked him. He let out a low whistle and leaned back against the edge of the hole, letting his hands rest palms down against the grass. “Wow. Sweet shiner.” He shook his head as he turned to hoist himself out of the grave. “Gotta say, babe. You’ve never looked better,” he wisecracked, a grin started to itch at the corner of his mouth until he looked back from where he came. An empty hole. For Warren. What a way to spend a vacation. He cleared his throat and shrugged both shoulders. “So, uh. Guess you guys just lower him in then,” he continued, gesturing toward their work.

Kian Yo yOu gUys DoNe? As if Moose Knuckle and the park rangers hadn't just taken ages to wrap a body in a blanket and carry it not half a kilometre into the jungle. Kian had a quip ready to go, a right hearty fuck off, but the second he turned around to open his mouth, he lost his shit. Seeing one of the Winklevoss Twins with a bruised eye nearly made up for the corpse within arm's length of his face. "Has he risen from the dead to punch you in the face?" He asked, scuttling out of the way so they could lower Warren's body into the hole. "I miss the fucker, already."

Liam liam’s whole body tensed up when he heard the unmistakable sound of callum’s voice. but at least that meant they were finally done and they could put this whole awful day behind them. getting up from his spot by the hole, liam turned around just as the other boys started commenting on his black eye. clearly the arguing turned physical after liam left, which really didn’t surprise him. but rather than bring attention to himself, he just moved out of the way so the others could move warren’s body into the hole.

Callum Callum swore if he wasn't helping carry a dead body right now, these fuckers — Dash and Kian — would be in the grave along with Warren too. Ignoring the heat he felt in his cheeks when he was cheekily referred to as 'babe', Callum merely scoffed and shot a measly "fuck off" at the two boys with comments. "Let's go," he urged the boys helping him with Warren's body, shuffling forward to position the corpse directly above the hole so it could be a smooth descent. "Ready? Bring him down slowly." It was easier to pretend this was his summer job doing construction work, and not burying some guy they survived a plane crash with. Nice and steady, Warren was lowered and just like that, the boy was laid down in his temporary resting place. Callum blew out a breath once he was standing at full height again. "Fuck..." He didn't expect it to be difficult to look at the grave with the blanket-wrapped body in there. "Guess we just... cover him up?" It felt strange to discuss. He wondered then how Dash, Kian and Lukas felt digging up this hole knowing what it was for.

Dash Dash watched the way Callum’s face heated with fascination, as his tongue poked at the inside of his cheek—one part confused to two parts jazzed about the power he must’ve had to elicit a reaction like that. He badly wanted to say something, to make a joke about how there must’ve been a heart beating there in his chest all long ‘cause his pink cheeks proved it. But he swallowed it down, the words like bile at the back of his throat. It seemed his body would only allow one joke in the presence of an actual burial, which kind of sucked really because without that there was nothing much to do but look at the lump that was once Warren get lowered into the ground. Dash thought about the last time he was at a funeral—and the shower of roses that were placed on the casket before it too was buried beneath pounds of dirt—and glanced around until he saw a flower. “Wait a sec.” It had five large pink petals, and looked like it’d work well enough. He plucked it, then looked over at the other guys. “I dunno, like a fuckin’ — show of respect or something,” he defended himself. “To make up for that Viking burial thing.” He tossed the flower down the hatch. It fluttered, then fell near Warren’s feet. Close enough. “Alright, dirt time,” he said, but still waited for someone else to make the first move.

Kian Kian watched the flower fall to Warren’s feet with little fanfare. That was shit, he wanted to say, but for once, he held his tongue. This was an actual, real thing they were doing; no going back now. Dash’s words hung in silence for eons before Kian began to shove dirt into the hole with his foot, covering up what he assumed—and hoped—was Warren’s face, first. “Where’s Sawyer gone? Thought he’d wanna...pay his respects or whatever.”

Callum "He's off being a pissy little bitch," Callum muttered as he pushed some sand into Warren's grave with the side of his foot. He knew it would be far more useful to go on his knees and shovel dirt in with his hands but he couldn't be fucked to hurt his back even more.

Dash Dash bent to pick up his abandoned stick. He used the flat end to knock dirt onto Warren’s body — it gave him something to do and saved his boots from more damage: two birds, one stone. “Lemme guess,” he started, angling the stick only enough to point in Callum’s general direction. He placed a fingertip under his right eye and tugged down for emphasis. “He responsible for that?”

Callum "Oh fuck off, Troll Doll." Though with his tiredness (and slight guilt), the insult didn't quite have the bite Callum wanted it to have. "It's not my fault the Prison Rat can't take the heat. If he wasn't guilty of anything in the first place, he wouldn't have had trouble sticking around." Callum moved some more sand over the grave with his foot and brought his hands up in a 'it wasn't me' gesture. "S'all I'm saying."

#wilds.thread #wilds.toa

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is0gild · 4 years

Text

Ice Cream and Fire Oven Pizza - Chapter 23

Pairing: Elsa x Lea/Axel || Side Pairing: Riku x OC

Summary: Modern AU. She's an introvert ball of nerves who works at Ice Palace, a mall food court ice cream shop. He's the outgoing, sassy goofball who works at the Pizza Planet across the way. Hilarity, snark, and fluffy romcom hijinks ensue.

Word Count: 11,552

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

Credit for super friggin’ cute and super friggin’ amazing cover art goes to the super friggin’ talented ky-jane here on tumblr!

"Sorry, did I miss a point back there where my car transformed into a submarine to cross the Atlantic Ocean?"

I turned my head towards Lea, knitting my eyebrows together. "Pardon?"

"Well I just don't see how else we would have ended up at freaking Buckingham Palace," he muttered, keeping one hand on the steering wheel while the other tipped his aviators forward for a better look at the mansion at the end of the long, extravagant driveway he was currently cruising his car down. He gave a low whistle, "Shit, all it's missing are those dudes in the highschool band uniforms and big fuzzy hats."

Rolling my eyes, I snorted softly. "Oh come now, it's not that big."

He scoffed, "'Not that big' is something girlfriends say about their exes to protect their insecure boyfriends' fragile male egos. It's not what you say about the Taj Ma-fucking-hal here."

The dreaded weekend was upon us at last.

You know. The Weekend. Capital T, capital W.

Aka, the visit with my parents.

Operation Boyfriend But Shh Not Really was about to be tested to the extreme limits.

The chateau in question (maybe villa would be a better word? Or manor, perhaps? Really, it wasn't big at all, Lea was just exaggerating) belonged to my parents. This was the home I'd grown up in. It was weird coming back here now after all that had happened. Was still in the process happening, I suppose. My fingers fidgeted with my braid as the mansion loomed ever higher the closer we got.

Actually… now that we were more up close and I was really seeing it again… oh gosh, it was rather enormous, wasn't it?

...had it somehow grown in size since last I-?

Shush, now, don't be ridiculous. That was just the anxiety talking.

Of which I was in no short supply of. I still had no clue what was in store for this weekend. Anna seemed almost just as much in the dark as I was, which was strange seeing as how she still lived here. Then again, I was pretty sure she'd been spending a lot less time around home lately in favor of staying over at her new boyfriend's place. A man I still surprisingly knew absolute zilch about, but I was hoping Anna had invited him to join us for this weekend as well. That way, I'd get to meet him and maybe even have a little of the attention taken off me. Long shot, I know, considering he was only Anna's still relatively new beau whereas I'd skipped out on my own wedding and shamed my whole family (apparently), so this guy was kind of small potatoes by comparison. But hey, a girl can dream, can't she?

It was actually Friday evening right now, so we were going to be in for more of a long weekend - in every sense of the word. Lea and I had both worked early shifts today before going to our respective homes, getting changed, packing bags for staying over for two nights and then finally heading up. Not knowing what this weekend was going to entail was wreaking no small amount of havoc on my nerves. That said, it could have been worse. Pretty sure I'd actually been more nervous for the audition a couple days ago than I was for this. Maybe that was because the audition had just been so last minute, whereas I'd been preparing for this little get-together for a couple weeks now. Even I had to admit that Lea and I made a pretty convincing couple at this point. Sure, I still got a bit awkward with PDAs, but I was no longer anywhere near as bad as I had been the day I'd seen father at my old condo.

...then again, doing the whole relationship act around the mall for the past couple weeks was one thing. Trying to pull off the same charade in front of my parents now, not to mention the Duke as well? Probably was going to be a lot more complicated.

I really had no idea what was going to happen the moment we passed through those ornate double doors leading into my parent's home.

But I was about to find out.

Whether I liked it or not.

"Alright, we made it," Lea announced as he parked the car next to the big fountain in the middle of the circle driveway, shutting off his engine. He shot me a grin, "You ready for this, my lil sötnos?"

I blinked over at him, then narrowed my eyes. "Do I even want to know?"

"It's a Swedish term of endearment. Its literal translation is sweet nose. And if yours ain't the sweetest, I dunno what is," his grin twitched wider as he reached over to tweak said nose.

"Sweet n-" I groaned, swatting his hand away. "Veto."

"Aw c'mon, I thought that one was cute!" he gave a little whine. I just drooped my eyelids at him and he sighed, stretching over to open his glove compartment and pull a black marker from it. "Guess America's just not ready for the sweet nose," he grumbled, pulling the cap off with his teeth and marking something off on his palm.

I frowned. "...what are you doing?"

"Regrettably giving up on what is arguably the greatest pet name of all time, that's what."

"No, I meant with your hand." I snatched his in both mine, yanking it over in front of my face to discover a small list written on the inside of his palm, located at the top of which was sötnos with a line struck through it. "...are these... more terms of endearment for me?"

He smirked as he leaned in closer to stare down at his palm alongside me. "Yup! Since the big weekend's here, figured I'd best come prepared. This is important stuff we gotta nail down!"

I squinted at the words before me, reading, "Kruzynko…?"

"It means breadcrumb."

Scrunching up my nose, I stole the marker from him and crossed that one off. "No. Bogárkám?"

"My little bug," Lea supplied, sounding more confident in this one.

A snerk. "Nope," I popped the P. And another one bites the dust. My tongue tripped uncertainly over the next one, "Blodyn tatws?"

"Heh… potato flowers?" he asked hopefully.

"Oh wow, I love that one."

He perked up, "Really?"

"Absolutely... not," I said flatly, looking him dead in the eye as I drew a line across it as well.

"Aw man, not cool!" He pouted, then pursed his lips to one side. "Hey, is now really the best time to be doing this? We, uh…" he chuckled sheepishly, holding up his second hand to reveal a whole other list scrawled on that one too, "...might end up being here all day."

I stared blankly at him. "Just how many more of those do you have?"

"I'd show ya, but that'd require me going a lil more half monty than you'd probably prefer I'd get in your parent's driveway."

My brow furrowed and I leaned away slightly, eyeing him up and down. "...where…?"

He waggled his eyebrows at me, "That's for me to know and you to find out."

I let his hand drop from my grasp, "I'm good, thanks." As he snickered, I looked away, rubbing my fingertips over one of my (now brought to a low simmer) cheeks. "Can't you just stick to El? It's simple. Nice… I like El."

"You do?" I heard him ask and I directed a furtive sideways glance in his direction. A slow smile was curling his lips, "Alright… El it is." But then he was peeking down at his palm again. "...and also krúttið mitt."

Biting back a grin, I swat his shoulder. "How would you like it if I kept calling you some weird pet name in a foreign language all the time?"

Lea beamed, "I'd like it very much actually."

"Really? Fine," I took up his hand again, scrutinizing his palm, "...mo chuisle it is then."

His eyes lit up, "Ooo, that one's spicy!"

Oh dear, why had I thought this was a good idea again?

"...what's it mean?"

He bent towards me, eyes hooded as he purred, "You just called me your pulse."

I've made a grave error this day.

"Ah-ah!" he chirped, pressing a finger to my lips as they began to part. "Too late! No take-backsies!"

I huffed, unbuckled my seatbelt and got out of the car, slamming the door shut behind me.

Lea looked far too smug as he climbed out himself, retrieving both our bags from the backseat of the car on his way out and slinging them over his shoulder. He removed his aviators, hooking them into the collar of his black, fitted v-neck shirt as his eyes took in the mansion before us once again. He'd reclaimed his leather jacket to wear for this, accompanied by snug jeans tastefully ripped at just one knee and a pair a black, heavy, steel-toed boots. He'd blinged out a bit as well, sporting a small sun medallion that hung from a chain down to his mid-chest, along a few strappy leather bracelets and a couple of rings decorating his fingers. His winged guyliner was somehow even darker and bolder than usual and his hair had been pulled back into a half-tail.

Not going to lie, my traitorous fingers practically itched to pet that little red tuft at the back of his head.

Instead, I settled for fussing with the necklace that rested against my skin just above my collarbone. The pendant was formed of three blue, almond-shaped gemstones gathered together at one point. A present from Rayne to wish me luck on this trip. I was a much bigger fan of her good luck charm than I had been of the one Lea had "gifted" me with for the musical tryouts. I wore the small charm with a classic little wrap dress in a soft lilac. Off the shoulder of course - it was me we were talking about here, so you can probably guess it before I even say it at this point - and with the hem of the skirt flaring out around the knees.

Needless to say, looking at him and me side-by-side right now, it was clear one of us was either severely over or underdressed. Considering it was my parents' door we were about to knock on, one guess as to who was what.

"Try not to scratch the paint, chief!" Lea chipperly called out as he was suddenly tossing his keys at one of the staff under my parents' employ who just so happened to be walking past us in that second.

Eyes widening, the man fumbled to catch them. As Lea turned to head towards the front door, I followed, quirking my eyebrow at him. "What was that?"

"I'm blending in," he flashed a cheeky smile, shoving a hand into one pocket of his jacket. "Whatcha think, do I sound like a rich asshole or what?"

I tipped my head to one side. "...actually, you kind of sounded like my ex."

A snort escaped through his nose. "I'll take that as a yes then."

We walked a couple steps in silence. Then, "That wasn't a valet, by the way."

He froze midstep, looking at me sharply. "What?"

"That was a gardener. My parents don't even have a valet."

"Oh." Lea glanced back over his shoulder, frowning. "...maybe I should go get my keys back then."

I hid a small grin behind my fingers. "Maybe you should."

Waiting politely, I watched him jog back towards the worker to do just that, along with offering what looked to be quite the humble apology. "Got 'em!" he declared once he'd rejoined me, flinging them up into the air before catching them again to slip into his pocket. "So even a proper gent like your old man feels the need to prove what a hot, young stud he still is, eh? Wouldn't of thought him the type."

"What?" I blinked a couple times. Where'd that come from?

He tossed his chin back towards his vehicle. More specifically, at the few other cars he'd parked next to. "I recognize Anna's Porsche over there, but that blue Ferrari reeks of midlife crisis."

"...that's my car." Then I grimaced and amended, "Rather, was my car."

"Huh?" he looked taken aback. "You drive? Since when?"

I gave a small shrug, "Since always."

"Then why're you always having me n' your roomies chauffeur you around? Not that I mind..."

"I don't have a car or the funds to purchase one." He wordlessly jerked his thumb back towards the Ferrari, face blank. I sighed, "My parents bought me that. It didn't feel right keeping it after… everything. Not with me trying to separate myself from them and make it on my own. No, I plan to buy my own once I've saved up enough."

"Shit, still shoulda kept it," Lea said and I gave him a dull look. He hastily waved a hand in front of him, "Even if ya didn't want it, you coulda sold it and made bank before giving all that munny away to charity. Ya know, just so you could really stick it to your folks."

Shaking my head with a soft chuckle, I started walking towards the entrance again. "Let's just get on with this."

"Aye aye, Capitaine," he gave me a two-fingered salute, catching up to me with his long strides.

Feeling my chest start to constrict as we drew nearer to those doors, I blew out a soft, slow breath. "I hope we're not late. I shouldn't have let you talk me into that salon visit after we got off work."

"What, you needed something to help ya relax and a quick spa day was just the ticket! 'Sides, I wanted to make myself all pretty for this! Whaddya think?" He stretched his arm out before us both, fingers wiggling to show off his fresh coat of black nail polish. "If this doesn't impress your folks and tell 'em what a man of sophisticated tastes I am, I dunno what will!"

I snorted. "I think my father is more of a mauve man himself."

"Really? Crap, you shoulda said something! I'd have asked for a matching color so he and I could be twinsies! Shucks," he snapped his fingers, "missed opportunity."

Coming to a stop on the doorstep, I reached for the bell, but my fingers hesitated.

This was so strange. I'd lived here. Spent my childhood here. I'd never had to use the doorbell before.

...why did the idea of doing so now seem so hard?

A sudden warmth enveloped my other hand. I looked down to discover Lea was holding it. He gave it a small squeeze as he said softly, "Hey. Whatever happens in there, just know I'm here for you."

I felt a small stutter in my chest as a tiny smile tugged at my lips. "...thank you," I murmured, squeezing back before looking to the doorbell once more. Taking a deep, calming breath, I pushed the button at last and a heavy chime could be heard within.

While we waited, a glimmer of something at Lea's waist caught my eye and I turned to see what it was. A crease formed between my eyebrows. "...is that… a wallet chain?"

How had I missed that thing until now?

"Hm?" he followed my gaze. "Oh! Yup! Heh, thought it might really pull the whole look together! Do I look like a punkass bad boy now or what?"

"Or what," I fixed him with a deadpan stare. "You look ridiculous."

He splayed a hand against his chest in mock offense. "Rude. Can't believe you'd talk to your pulse like that."

Face warming, I hung my head. "...I'm never going to hear the end of that, am I?"

"Nope!" he grinned wickedly.

"Would you just take that silly thing off?"

"No can do, sweetcheeks! Boys like to accessorize too, ya know," he sniggered, giving the chain a little twirl. "Just be grateful I left the spiked choker in the glove compartment."

"Spi-?!" I spluttered over the word before managing a scoff and crossing my arms. "Oh, trust me, I am. The point is to get my parents to back off, not to send them into cardiac arrest!"

...huh… Lea in a spiked choker…

"You're trynta imagine what I'd look like wearing it now, aren't ya?" he'd hunched down beside me to whisper into my ear with a smirk.

My cheeks burned so hot, you could have roasted marshmallows on the damn things.

"...am not."

I was almost grateful when the door swung open just then. And also a little surprised, because the face that greeted me wasn't that of my parents' house maid Gerda.

No, instead it was that of a pale, wide-eyed, huffing and puffing Anna.

(With Gerda right behind her, looking quite harried and put out by the fact that my sister had stolen her job.)

"Elsa!" she cried out in relief. "Finally! What took you so long?!"

Furrowing my brow, I began, "Anna? What-?"

"No time! Get." She lunged towards me. "In here." Her hands seized my shoulders. "Now!" I was forcibly yanked inside.

I heard the door booming shut behind me and could only hope that Lea had managed to slip in himself in time as well. Gripping my sister's arms, I tried again, "What's going on? We couldn't be more than a few minutes la-"

Her hand suddenly shot out to squeeze my cheeks together between her thumb and fingers, squishing my face and effectively silencing me. "Shush! No talkie! Only listen! Oh, it's bad, Sis. Really, really bad! It's him! He's here! Like, here here! Right friggin' now!"

"Who's here?" I asked, tugging my face free of her vice-like grip and working my jaw. I knit my eyebrows together at Gerda, who was frantically circling us as she kept trying and failing to get a word in edgewise. "The Duke? I already knew-"

"No! Not the Duke! Of course not, he won't be here until tomorrow! Gah! You know, Sis, sometimes you can be really-" Anna cut herself off in a tiny snarl, fingers curling in front of her to strangle empty air. "Ugh! Anyway, it's- I didn't- It was just- Out of nowhere- Mom and Dad, they- He- His-"

"I think she's trying to tell us something. What is it, Lassie? Timmy trapped in the well again?" Lea snerked as he let our luggage fall to the foyer floor beside his boots.

Ignoring him, I gently rubbed my hands up and down Anna's arms. "Breathe. Calm down. Take a minute to gather your thoughts."

"People!" she suddenly blurted out, startling me a bit. "Lots of them! Loads of them! So many people!"

I frowned. "People? Where? You mean here, now?"

She shook her head rapidly, "No, no, no, no! Not now people! Future people! Tomorrow people! And… and caterers! And musicians! And decorators and, and, and him! He's- Right now, he's- just down the hall, he's- he's-"

"Who, Anna? Who?" I insisted.

Her hands violently shook me, "Him!"

Right. Thanks, Sis. Big help you are.

Why was she like this?

The maid finally managed to pipe in, "What Miss is trying to tell you is that your-"

"Got it, Gerda, thanks!" Anna huffed out with a tiny scowl. Then she took in a deep breath, preparing to say something.

"Crap, I think that dude just robbed us," Lea chimed in first.

Holding a finger up to Anna, I whipped my head around to see what he was talking about: an older gentleman in a black suit walking briskly away with our bags. "Oh, that's just Kai."

Lea cocked an eyebrow at me, "The robber's name is Kai?"

"No, the butler's name is Kai."

"Why would the butler rob us?"

"He's not robbing us, he's just taking our things up to our room." I blanched. "Rooms." Plural. As in more than one. My parents would never, not in a million years, have put Lea and me in the same room under their roof… right? Oh gosh, why was the possibility only just now occurring to me? "He's, uh… he's p-putting them where we'll be staying. Separately. As in, not together. Completely and one hundred percent apart," I (overly) clarified, fighting that blush I felt creeping up my neck now.

Anna suddenly grabbed my head with both hands and forced me to look at her again, grounding out through her teeth, "You're. Not. Listening to me!" Then with a grumbling sigh, she snagged my hand in hers and started dragging me down one of the many corridors that branched off from the foyer. "Come on, we better hurry, they're probably wondering what's taking so long."

Gerda squeaked and scurried after us. "Right this way, please, and I'll see you to the Marigold Room where your hosts await your presence!" she awkwardly trilled, trying to maintain some semblance of performing her duties despite Anna's continued interference.

A whistle from Lea confirmed he was following as well. "Lemme guess. The Duke in the conservatory with the candlestick."

"Wha-?" my voice faltered as my feet tripped trying keep up with Anna, only barely managing to keep myself upright.

He grinned down at me as he strode along, shrugging. "This whole place is a legit, life-sized Clue board. Just trynta play the game here."

I stumbled again. "Ow, Anna! Not so hard. What is the rush?"

Not slowing down, she glanced back at me over her shoulder. "Come on, Elsa, think! What day is it?"

"Uh…" Was this a trick question? "...Friday?"

A low, agitated noise emitted from her throat. "No, what day?"

I squinted up at the ceiling in thought. "...the seventh?"

"Yes!" she spun around to tap her nose excitedly, her feet still moving backwards. "Which would make tomorrow…?"

"The eighth." Lost by this line of questioning? I know I was.

"Of?" she pressed. "What month, Elsa?"

"The eighth of… oh!" It finally clicked and I staggered again, my eyes growing round. "...oh no. It's his birthday. Oh gosh, he's here?! Right now?!"

"Yes! Finally! Thank you!" Anna cried out in exasperation.

"Who?" Lea asked, both eyebrows shooting up his forehead at my sudden change of attitude.

"It's-" I began, but that one word was all I got out before Anna took a sudden sharp turn, yanking me into the Marigold Room with her and bringing us face to face with-

"Grandfather!" I breathed, feet faltering as Anna brought us both to a sudden and jerky stop before him.

He cut an imposing figure, my grandfather. Tall, like father, and with the same red hair too that had been passed down to Anna. His however bore prominent streaks of grey at his temples - really the only sign of him getting on in years as he otherwise looked remarkably good for a man of his age. Still fit as a fiddle, barrel-chested, with a strong, square jaw and a sharp, piercing gaze.

A gaze that was so cold right now that I didn't know how I wasn't frozen into solid ice on the spot.

Anna had been wrong.

This wasn't bad.

This was catastrophic.

Because my grandfather? Not exactly the nicest person. Remember what my father had been like? Well, just think - he'd had to learn it from somewhere. And next to Grandfather, my father seemed warm and cuddly. Like sunshine and rainbows. Heck, Father was as friggin' teletubby by comparison to the man who'd raised him. Grandfather was cut from the same cloth as his brother, the Duke. The epitome of old fashioned and proper etiquette. The thing was, where the Duke was all bluster and tantrums, Grandfather just got quiet when he was angry. Like... really, really quiet. An ominous kind of quiet. A bone-chilling kind of quiet. Whenever Grandfather stopped talking, that's when I really got scared of the man.

No, scratch that. That was when I got petrified of the man.

So the fact that he was just staring down his nose at me right now, eyes narrowed, lips set into a grim, disapproving line, and not uttering a single word? Would have been enough to turn my hair stark white if it weren't pretty damn close already.

And to make matters worse? Mother and Father stood not five feet behind him looking rather unamused with me themselves.

Oh gosh, this wasn't going to be some pleasant, little family gathering.

This was going to be an execution. Mine, to be exact.

Gerda suddenly appeared off to one side, panting to catch her breath and making a hasty curtsy towards my parents and grandfather before announcing, "Elsa and her guest have arrived."

...thanks, Gerda. I think they figured that out already.

I watched as she turned and hurried to make her exit before reluctantly returning my gaze to Grandfather. Still, he said nothing. Just arched one bushy eyebrow at me and waited.

Oh fudge, he wanted me to be the first one to speak? Where do I even begin? What do I even say? Could I even talk right now? I don't think I could, not with how heavy my tongue suddenly felt, like it had turned into solid lead. What was I supposed to do here? How-

Suddenly, I felt it. A hand. Lea's hand, slipping across the small of my back and coming to rest on my hip, pulling me gently into his side. "Aren'tcha gonna introduce me, babe?" he asked, voice low and sugary-sweet as he grinned and pressed a kiss to my temple.

Grandfather's thick mustache gave a little twitch.

That's all it took for me to know. Not thirty seconds into this and there was absolutely zero doubt in my mind.

Before this weekend was out, Grandfather was going to murder Lea.

Inhaling and exhaling, I wrung my hands together and somehow figured out how to do this thing called 'talking' once again. "F-Father, you've already had the, uh… the pleasure, but Grandfather, Mother… this… this is…" I screwed my eyes shut, trying to steel myself.

Come on, Elsa, you can do this. Just one word. Just one measly, little word.

"This is my boooooo-" What was this? What was I doing here? "-oooooooooooooooo-" Why was I stretching the syllable out so friggin' long? What, had I gotten stuck? "-oooooooooooooo-" Dear god, how was there this much oxygen in my lungs? "-oooooooooo-" I didn't think there was even this much oxygen on the whole planet, much less inside my lungs. "-oooyyyyyyy-" Oh good. Progress. At this rate, I'd complete the word sometime this century. "-yyyyyyyyy-"

Anna, my divine saviour and blessed angel of mercy, jabbed her elbow into my gut.

"-friend!" I finished at last with a cough. "Boyfriend. This is my...my boyfriend. Yes. This is he. He is this." A beat. Then, "Lea! By the way. His name, that is. Yup. Lea the Boyfriend. My boyfriend. That's right, Lea is my boyfriend. My boyfriend is-"

"I think they get it, Sis," Anna hissed quietly out of the corner of her plastered-on smile.

Gee, I was getting so good at this whole lying thing, wasn't I?

"Pleased to meet ya, Gramps," Lea stretched out a hand towards him.

Grandfather didn't take it. Instead, he just stared long and hard at it. At the black nail polish and rings adorning it. Finally, he lifted his chin with a sniff and straightened his already ramrod posture even further. "That'll be Sir to you, young man."

"Oo, how formal. Whatever you say," he retracted his hand with a smirk, "Sir Gramps."

This had been a mistake, using Lea as my rent-a-boyfriend.

Actually… no, mistake would be an understatement. This was a powder keg and Lea was a goddamn burning match.

Pushing past my now rigidly stiff grandfather, Lea approached my parents next. "Pops, always a pleasure. Ma'am," he took my mother's hand in his to politely press his lips to the back of it, "lovely to make your acquaintance."

She looked slightly taken aback, blue eyes widening. However, Mother recovered quickly, delicately plucking her fingers from his grip to smooth at the tight bun her brown hair was currently up in before primly folding her hands together just below her waist. When she smiled, it was gracious but tight. "As it is yours," there was a briefest of pauses before she tacked on a hesitant, "Lea. Please, take a seat. Dinner should be ready shortly, but would anyone like a drink prepared while we wait?"

I was relieved to hear Lea answer with, "I'm good, thanks." Because a return of Wine Tipsy Lea was by far the very last thing this situation needed right now. As I declined as well, a quick look around brought to my attention the fact that we were the only two not partaking as it seemed the others had already started before we'd gotten here. Mother and Father were sipping at what looked to be some sort of dark red cabernet, while Anna retrieved her own glass and moved towards the mini bar to refill it - most likely with something sweet, fruity and potent enough to bring down an elephant, knowing her. On the low table around which all the seats gathered was a sturdy glass full of ice and an amber liquid. Probably Grandfather's. Probably bourbon.

I shifted over towards the sofa opposite the table from my parents and all three of us took a seat at the same time. Lea joined me soon after, slipping his arm around my shoulders as he flumped down into the cushions beside me. Grandfather, however, hadn't budged from where he stood since we'd entered the room. Not one inch. "Father," was all my father said to him - partially warning, partially pleading.

Grandfather's mustache twitched again and his left eye ticked. But then he moved to sit down in the armchair in front of the bourbon, snatching up the glass and sullenly nursing it.

Dear lord, this was a nightmare. No, this was Hell. That had to be it - I'd died and was now in my own little corner of the Underworld specifically designed and crafted to torture me in the cruelest way possible. I could already feel the stress burning an ulcer into my stomach and no amount of Lea's fingers lightly trailing up and down my arm would calm me down.

There was no point in putting it off, right? I should just do it now. Bring up the thing that was on all of our minds but no one was talking about. You know, the thing. The wedding thing… or rather, the whole lack of the wedding thing. I should just get this over with. Rip the bandaid off. Getting it all out in the open now had to be better than this. Anything had to be better than this… right?

Hands fidgeting furiously in my lap and this close to dislocating a finger, I licked my dry lips and managed to find my voice. "Perhaps now… we should discuss what exactly h-happened on… on my-"

"That is a topic that would be best saved for later," Father talked over me, his stern voice cutting me off. "Let us speak of other things right now."

My head rocked back at that, my forehead wrinkling. I flicked my gaze over to Grandfather briefly - who was still stewing quietly over his drink - then back to my parents. "But I thought-"

"Now's not the time, Elsa," Mother insisted firmly. "This is not a discussion that will be brief, nor will it be suitable to have over dinner. Besides, your father and I will have our hands full preparing for the party tomorrow evening, so this is a conversation that will just have to wait until the day after."

A frown tugged at my lips. "You're hosting a party?"

"For Grandfather's birthday," Anna plopped down onto the sofa beside me, freshened drink in hand. "Since, ya know, it's such a huge one. The big seven-oh. The whole family is going to be there to celebrate. And I mean, the whole family," she shot me a pointed look over the rim of her glass as she took a swig.

Oh. So that's what she'd meant earlier by "tomorrow people."

Why couldn't she have been this articulate when she'd greeted me at the door?

Mother added, "You are, of course, invited to attend the celebration as well, Lea. I know Father would be thrilled for you to join us."

Uh-huh. Sure. Grandfather looked positively pleased as punch over there at the very prospect.

"Sounds like a blast, count me in," Lea grinned.

Alright so… the birthday soirée would be tomorrow, then The Talk™ would be the day after. Roughly two days… forty-eight hours of waiting and worrying and dreading and- oh dear, I had to wonder what the world record for longest sustained panic attack might be. Start the timer, I was about to shatter that sucker.

A hush fell over the room, with the only sound coming from the clinking of the ice in Grandfather's drink accompanied by the ticking of the ancient but well-kept longcase clock in the corner. The ticking seemed to get louder with each passing second.

After one painfully long minute, Mother was finally the one to break the silence. "So Lea," she began, her eyes intent on him, "please… tell us a little about yourself."

"Where to even begin? Lessee here." Uh oh. I didn't like that little gleam he had in his eye as he rubbed a curled finger over his chin. "Well, I guess ya could say I had the kinda childhood every lil tyke dreams about: full of joy and love and the foster system." It was probably a good thing I hadn't gotten a drink because I'd probably be choking on it right now just like my parents were with theirs. "But I mean, with a druggie dad who bought the farm and a druggie mom who split outta my life first chance she got, where else was I s'posed to go?

"As for the rest after that, let's just give ya the highlights." Now he started ticking off his fingers, "College dropout. Ride a motorcycle. In a hardcore death metal band. Smoke ten packs a day." For the love of… he did remember the part about not giving my parents a heart attack, right? "Just got my thirty-day chip from AA - hey, fifth times a charm, right? Oh, I'm also a wanted felon in three different states. Wait…" he squinted one eye, pursing his lips to the left, "...make that four. Always forget about Connecticut. Which reminds me, I need to check in with my parole officer."

"He's joking!" I said quickly with a tiny, nervous laugh.

"Or am I?" he leaned forward in his seat to whisper conspiratorially, eyebrows bouncing. I pinched his arm, forcing a soft tch from him. "But let's not forget the most important thing ya need to know about me: how completely," he kissed my pinky, "and totally," another one for my ring finger, "head over heels," three more, one for each word and each remaining finger, "I am for your daughter."

Alright, you need to cool your jets, cheeks. This was all just part of the show, after all.

A show that was possibly being performed a bit too well. Grandfather's knuckles had gone so white around his glass, I was surprised the poor thing hadn't shattered into a million pieces yet.

Lea tapped his index to his lips now, "Hmmm, what else? Oh! Got a pretty cool story about this gnarly scar my half-brother gave me with a-"

"Anna!" I suddenly burst out, turning towards her at the same time I snagged Lea's hand, keeping him from lifting the hem of his shirt. She froze mid-sip, glancing at me out of the corner of her eyes. "What about you? What's new with you? You have that new boyfriend of yours, right? What about him, will he be joining us this weekend?"

Who me? Trying to change the subject? Psh, I would never!

She winced, averting her gaze and lowering her drink as she traced a finger around the rim. "Oh jeez, my…? Well... he, er… he was going to make it for dinner tonight but… something… unfortunately came up! But he should definitely be here in time for the party tomorrow, so… don't worry! Heh… I- oo, little cheeses!" she cried out excitedly as Gerda abruptly appeared once more to place a small platter of hors d'oeuvres on the coffee table. Anna immediately proceeded to stuff her face with them before pointing at her bulging cheeks and shaking her head, signaling she could no longer talk.

A crease formed between my eyebrows.

Huh… was it just me or was Anna acting kind of weird?

Maybe the tension around the room just had us all on edge, even her. Yeah, that was probably all it was.

"And you, Elsa?" Father's cool tone snapped my attention back to him. Each word that followed was slow and measured, as if he were picking them very carefully, "Tell us how you have been keeping yourself occupied during these past several weeks."

"Oh!" I gnawed on my lower lip, my fingers already tugging at my braid before I'd even realized it. "Well, I've… reconnected with an old friend - you remember Rayne from when I went to summer camp? Well she's married now with a baby on the way, can you imagine? And… and I've gotten myself a place to live and have found a job and-"

-and auditioned for a musical.

That was what I'd been about to tell them. However when I tried, the words got caught in my throat.

I knew they'd disapprove. That they'd probably scoff and wonder why I was still wasting my time on such childish, useless things. But it wasn't childish or useless, at least not to me. To me, the audition had been so important, had brought me so much happiness. I didn't want to give my parents the chance to belittle and ridicule it. I didn't want them to take this thing that was so special away from me.

So instead I released my braid and folded my hands in my lap, sitting up a little straighter as I simply said, "...and that's it really."

I could sense Lea's eyes on me. I think he knew what I'd purposely omitted. Thankfully, he kept his mouth shut about it.

"So… Lea…" Grandfather spoke up suddenly, his voice dangerously low and making me flinch. "I hear you're in the…" his lip curled in a slight sneer, "...pizza business? Is that right?"

Smirking back, he slouched a bit more comfortably into his seat. "That's right. I sling dough at a lil pizza joint in the local mall food court. Great place by the name of Pizza Planet… you ever been?"

His jaw clenched ever so slightly. "No, can't say that I have. But this... Pizza Planet," he said it like those were the two most offensive words in the english language, "...is that where you see yourself working for the rest of your life?"

Lea chuckled, his hand batting the air, "Nah, that'd just be silly! No, I won't be selling pizza forever." His mouth curved into a cheshire grin, "Instead I'll be selling ice cream."

"He plans to own his own business, Grandfather," I hastily clarified.

"His own business… selling ice cream," he growled, pointer finger incessantly tapping against his glass now. "And this is how you would plan to provide for and take care of my granddaughter."

"Pardon me, Sir Gramps," there was a hint of an edge to Lea's voice now, despite his unwavering smile, "but I was under the impression that your granddaughter was her own person fully capable of taking care of herself."

You know that chilling, goosebump-inducing, hackles-raising energy you can feel crackling in the air right before a devastating storm strikes and ravages the land?

That was exactly how it felt right now in the space between Grandfather and Lea.

Luckily, Gerda appeared in the nick of time to divert the tempest by announcing, "Dinner is ready!"

"Thank you, Gerda," Mother had stood in the blink of an eye and was already making her way over to Grandfather. "If you would be so kind as to escort me, Father?"

His hard, unblinking gaze was still on Lea and for a second it seemed like he hadn't even heard her. But at last he tore his eyes away with a harrumph and put his drink back down on the table with a sharp, audible clink. "Of course, my dear," he said evenly as he rose from his own chair, offering her his arm and leading her out of the room.

I turned to Anna, but before I could say anything she'd already bolted up and around the table to grab both of Father's hands in hers. "C'mon, Dad! Walk me to dinner too!" she yanked him up, startling a soft grunt out of him as he staggered to his feet. Then she was hooking her arm through his elbow and all but dragging him out of the room with her.

What the…?

...maybe Anna was just super hungry?

"I think that went really well!" Lea chirped, giving me a thumbs up.

I merely drooped my eyelids at him and said nothing.

Later that night found me in my old bedroom. I'd deduced this was where I was expected to sleep, seeing as how this was where Kai had deposited my luggage. As suspected, Lea had been set up in one of the guest rooms further down the hall, so it was just me alone in here now.

It felt odd being back in this room. Just like it'd felt odd returning to my parent's home or going back to my old condo. I don't know, I guess I just didn't feel like I... belonged here anymore. Like I was some piece that everyone else was trying to force into the wrong puzzle, even though my edges didn't fit and the picture didn't match at all.

Sighing, I shifted in my chair to face the mirror on my vanity once more - this one a lot nicer than the one we'd scrounged up for my room back at the apartment I shared with Rayne and Riku, as you might imagine. Having just finished combing out my hair, I set my brush aside and my fingers idly went to work on rebraiding as my thoughts began to wander.

Dinner had ended up just being the sequel to drinks in the Marigold Room. My parents had continued to try and maintain some semblance of being hospitable hosts while keeping up strained conversation. Grandfather had continued to be a seething ball of barely-held-in-check fury and I don't think he'd said more than two words for the rest of the evening. Lea had continued to… well, be Lea. And as for my sister…

I quite honestly had no idea what was going on with her. Maybe it was just my imagination but it seemed every time I'd tried to talk to her, something else had always gotten in the way. Like I'd open my mouth to speak but before I could so much as make a peep, she'd already engaged Mother or Father in some new topic. Or I'd ask her a question only to have her look at me, lips pursed shut against a mouth full of food and shoulders shrugging. There was even one time where all I'd said was her name before she'd accidentally knocked over her drink. At least, I thought it'd been accidental… unless...

Could it be that she was... purposely avoiding talking to me? Had I done something to upset her? I couldn't even begin to think what. Last I'd seen her a week ago, she'd been fine. Everything had been normal between us. What could have possibly changed since?

...maybe I was just reading too much into it. It was probably just a lot of coincidence and poor timing. In fact-

There was a knock at my door just then.

Ha! Bet you that was her now. See? Nothing to worry about, I'd just been overthinking it all. Tying off my completed braid, I rose to answer the door.

And indeed, it was a redhead that I found waiting in the corridor on the other side.

Just not the redhead I'd been expecting.

"Lea?" I frowned, both my eyebrows rising.

He snerked, "Yeesh, don't act too excited to see me."

"What? No, I'm- You're just not who I-" I pressed my lips shut, heaving a small sigh through my nose. "...nevermind. What brings you here?"

"Brought ya something," he grinned and for the first time, I realized he was hiding his hands behind his back. "May I come in?"

My head tipped to the right. "Uh...sure," I opened the door wider, my bare feet stepping off to one side as I absently smoothed at my dress - the same one from dinner. Lea had arrived just before I'd been about to change for bed.

He was still in his earlier clothes as well, though he'd left behind his boots and jacket. I couldn't help but notice he hadn't taken that cute little half-tail out of his hair yet. I also couldn't help but notice the way he carefully managed to keep whatever he had behind him out of sight, even as he walked past me into the room. I closed the door and when I faced him, he hunched down to my eye level, "Ya ready?"

I crossed one hand over my abdomen and gestured with the other for him to continue.

"Ta-da!" he brought one hand forward now, revealing a little black strip lined with sharp, metal points dangling from the clasp pinched between his fingertips.

That's right. It was the spiked collar.

...whatever I'd been expecting, it hadn't been this.

My eyes blinked once. Then twice. "...you were serious? You actually have one of those?"

"Course! What, didja think I was lying? I'm offended, madame," he hmphed, putting his free hand to his breast.

I snorted with a roll of my eyes, "Well no, not lying, but more so just joking."

"I never joke about studded leather," he waggled his eyebrows at me.

Nose crinkling, I delicately poked a finger into one of the spikes. "Alright, so why exactly are you showing me this?"

Lea smirked and shrugged. "Your curiosity just seemed so piqued when I mentioned it earlier."

I gave him a flat look. "It was not piqued."

"Keep telling yourself that," he chuckled then paused, eyes crinkling. "...so you wanted to know what it looked like on me, right?"

Cheeks lightly toasted now, I scowled, "I never said-"

He wrapped the thing around his neck, holding it in place with a hand instead of fastening the tiny buckle in back.

Oh.

Oh, I see.

...it was, um… hrm, it was… interesting.

Damn it, face, be cool. That goes double for you, heart! Don't go thinking I can't hear that racket you're making down there!

"Well, I guess that's one mystery solved," was all I said as I glanced away, hand coming up to cover one cheek in a vain attempt to hide the growing blush.

"Glad I could be of service," he murmured as he (mercifully) removed the collar from his throat once more.

"...why do you even own one?" I asked, hesitantly reaching for the accessory now.

He let me take it from him. "Just a relic from my pissed-off, rebellious juvenile delinquent days that I managed to dig up again recently. What a punkass lil poser I was back then, huh?" he hummed a tiny laugh as he looked down at his feet, lightly scuffing one against the carpet.

Intrigued by it now, I turned it over in my hands as he spoke before taking it over to the mirror on my vanity. "I suppose we all try to find different ways to express ourselves when we're young. Just a part of growing up and figuring out who we are," I said distractedly as I watched my reflection bring the choker up to encircle her neck, tilting her head slightly to the left with a thoughtful frown.

"Well I guess that'd make me a-" whatever quip he'd had locked and loaded was forever lost as he made a sudden strangled, choking noise.

I looked over at him sharply, brow furrowing as I lowered the spiked collar once more. "You okay? What happened?"

His fist thumped his chest as he fought for breath, which was making his face red. "N-nothing," he wheezed, rapidly shaking his head. "Just oxygen, man. That shit'll kill ya, am I right? Heh."

I squinted at him dubiously.

Lea was such a weirdo sometimes.

He averted his gaze now, rubbing at the back of his neck. "You, uh… that choker looked good on ya. Like really, really good."

"You think so?" I frowned down at where it rested in my palm before holding it out to him, "I'll just have to take your word for it."

"Keep it," he grinned, pushing my hand back towards me. "Ya never know when you'll need one for an impromptu angry goth phase."

I smiled at that, "I think I'm in the clear. Isn't that more of a teenager thing?"

"Please. Angry goth isn't an age, it's a state of mind."

"If you say so," I snorted, but put the choker down on my vanity. I had to wonder what my parents might say if they ever discovered it in here with the rest of my things.

"So," he piped up once more, pulling my attention back to him, "this is the bedroom that sweet lil El grew up in, huh?"

As I watched Lea take a few steps further in now, it suddenly occurred to me... this was the first time a boy had ever been in my bedroom. And not just any boy - this was my crush.

Wow… it felt so highschool when I put it that way.

To be fair though, this wasn't an experience I'd ever got to have while I was actually in highschool.

Better late than never, I suppose?

I only wish it didn't make me want to squirm so much as his eyes roved over everything in here, from the big, purple, gauzy canopy bed to the embellished, oversized wardrobe and matching dresser set. From the cushy, inset bench beneath a grand window in the unique shape of a triangle to the tall, antique shelves of neatly arranged novels and DVD cases of old musicals and plays. From the small sitting area in one corner furnished with plush red chairs to the vintage Broadway posters hanging from the walls in expensive frames.

The room was not small by any means, but him being in it somehow seemed to make it shrink. Like here was this big guy that had somehow found his way into a cutesy little dollhouse room. The comparison did not make me want to fidget any less.

Trying to take my mind off it, I began, "So… earlier at drinks and dinner, did you really have to be so…" I bit down on my bottom lip, trying to find the right word. "...just so, ah…"

"So much of a grade-A jackass?" he suggested brightly. Not exactly the word I would have used, but still, I gave a slow nod and he laughed. "Remember, the whole point was for me to be a total hooligan so they didn't just think me some pushover they could boss around or scare off. Think they got that message loud and clear. 'Sides, pushing every last button of the girlfriend's folks is kinda a hallmark of being a classic bad boy."

My fingers found their way to my braid, running up and down it. "But there's a big difference between pushing a few buttons and having a deathwish."

"Aw, how sweet, you worried about lil ol' me, El?" He paused briefly in his casual perusal of my room to glance my way, flashing me that cursed dimple of his, "I'm so flattered."

I shook my head, "I just think you didn't have to go to such extremes or be quite so-"

"Gotta question for ya," he interjected, coming over to stand in front of me. "Say I had showed up on my very best behavior. The perfect gentleman, minded all my P's and Q's and was just the saintliest boyfriend to ever saint. Do you think your family would be singing my praises right about now?"

My eyes shifted about and I tried weakly, "...well… maybe if-"

"Do you truly, honestly believe that your family would ever accept a white trash lil nobody like me dating their precious princess of a daughter?" he pressed quietly yet firmly.

I tucked in my lower lip, hesitating for a long moment before a tiny grimace twisted my face and I mumbled, "Probably not, no."

Lea gave a little smile that almost seemed a touch sad before he turned away once more, returning his attention to exploring the bedroom. "Thought so. I was screwed the second I so much as dared to breathe the same air as your gramps. So if they're all gonna hate my guts whether I play the part of boy scout or hoodlum, might as well go with door numeros dos and at least have some fun while I'm at it," he chuckled.

"Fine, I see your point," I crossed my arms with a frown. "But still, you might want to tone it back just a smidge. Grandfather has munny and connections. He can seriously make you disappear."

A snerk. "I'd like to see him try. I'm one tough son of a bitch to get rid of," he muttered as he neared my bed now, reaching out a hand to poke some of the draping aside as he peeked in, "Trust me, no one axes me that easily, got it memorized? He's in for one rude awakening if he thinks he can just- gah!" he stumbled back in surprise, blinking a couple times before shifting the canopy again for a second look. "The fuck is that ugly lil bastard?!"

I rushed over, snatching up the stuffed plushie sitting atop my neatly made bed and hugging it close as I glared at Lea. "It's a snowman and shush, he's cute! Cuter than you anyway!"

His horrified gaze darted from me to the doll and back. "Dear god, I hope not!"

Sitting down on my mattress, I spun the little guy around in my lap for a better look at him - it'd probably been at least four-some-odd years since I'd last seen the plush, after all. And okay, sure, I could admit he probably wouldn't be winning any beauty contests any time soon, but give the poor, stuffed snowman a break! I had had him since I was a baby and he had had to endure more than one stitch repair job, especially with what a destructive little toddler Anna had been. Despite all that, I still thought him rather handsome with a unique, quirky charm to him.

Giving Lea a flat look and hitching my chin, I said dryly, "My statement stands."

"Wow, guess it's true what they say, beauty really is in the eye of the beholder," he grumbled, narrowing his gaze on the plushie as I snuggled it close to me once more. But then one corner of his lips quirked up and he bowed down to look me in the eye, tipping his head to one side as he murmured, "Hope I at least rate a close second."

Resident cheeks be advised: flash fire warnings are now in effect.

I held my tongue and just glanced away.

The corners of his eyes crinkled as he straightened back up and shoved his hands into his pockets. "So… about that big party tomorrow…"

Thank goodness, a new topic! "What about it?"

Shrugging, Lea said, "Just wanna know what to expect."

My fingers idly stroked at the snowman's head - the fabric still felt soft after all these years, even if it had taken on more of a dull gray color by now as opposed to its original pristine, snowy white. "Well… it'll probably be held in our ballroom-"

"This small palace has a freaking ballroom too?" He shook his head with a snort, "I was kidding before, but this place really is just one big damn Clue board."

Rolling my eyes, I continued, "And it'll probably be packed with all our relatives. Believe me, there are a lot of us on both sides of the family. Acquaintances too. Honestly, it'll most likely all be rather boring. Just a whole lot of mingling, maybe a speech or two, and an over abundance of food accompanied by music."

"Music…" he repeated, frowning up at the ceiling now as one hand went to the nape of his neck, tugging at the little hairs there. "So that mean there'll be dancing? Like… the fancy kind?"

I cocked my head at him. "Are you worried about having to waltz?" Resting my stuffed doll against my pillows, I stood up, "I can teach you if you'd like."

He blinked at me, expression unreadable. Then, "Alright."

I stepped over to stand before him. Now that I got close, I was reminded of just how freakishly tall the man was. My stomach did a little somersault at that and I was already regretting this decision. But it was too late to turn back now. Beating the blush back, locking it up and throwing away the key, I schooled my face into seriousness.

I was going to handle this like a professional, damnit!

"It's fairly simple really, and you've probably seen more than your fair share of it in those sappy movies you like so much. Our hands come together, like this," I joined my right with his left, holding them up to one side. "While your other hand goes…" gingerly taking his wrist in my grasp, I tentatively guided his palm to rest on my hip, hoping the action didn't seem as awkward as it had felt, "...right there." Finally, I settled my left hand on his shoulder and looked up the few inches that separated us.

Big mistake.

Jeez, having eyes as green and beautiful and heart spasm-inducing as his should've been illegal!

And being surrounded by his warm, cinnamony boy scent was not helping matters one bit.

I hastily broke eye contact, opting to look down at our toes instead. Toes are nice. Toes are safe. "It's, uh... it's very easy. You just take steps in the shape of a square. Watch my feet and follow along, I'll go slow. Forward with your left foot first," I took a step back and he moved with me, "then to the side with your right… now bring them together… Good. Then back with your right… out with your left… and together again." I took him through it a few more times without issue. "See? Simple. You're already getting the hang of it."

"I just must have a really good teacher," he said in a low hum.

"At this rate I'll soon be the one following your lead instead of… wait," my forehead wrinkled, "...you are already leading." I looked up at him suspiciously. "Did you already know how to ballroom dance?"

He smiled sheepishly, "Heh… guilty?"

"You brat, why did you tell me you didn't?" I laughed, trying to step away from him.

"I said no such thing," his hand shifted from my hip to the small of my back, not letting me escape. To be fair, I didn't try that hard. "You just assumed I didn't know how. And you know what they say when you assume," he teased as he continued to lead me in our little dance.

I scoffed in spite of the upward tug I felt at one side of my mouth. "Where did you even learn to waltz?"

"My lil secret," Lea winked. "But you know the deal. I'd be willing to give it up for one o' yours."

"You want me to give you a secret?" My eyes darted to the left. "I'm not sure I even have anymore…"

He snerked, pulling me ever so slightly closer to him. "Now I know I don't believe that. You must be able to think of at least one."

...actually yes. There was… at least one more I could think of…

That of certain feelings I was having for a certain redhead.

Sensing a small, familiar heat creeping up into my face, I cleared my throat and shook my head, still not meeting his gaze. "No… no I don't think so. Pretty sure I'm all tapped out."

He dipped his head down next to mine and I could feel him smirking against my ear as he whispered, "You wouldn't be lying to me now, would you?"

His warm breath tickled and I had to suppress a shiver. Conceal, don't feel. Don't let him know. I finally looked at him with a small, playful smile that I hoped didn't betray my hammering heart. "Come now… does this look like the face of someone who'd lie to you?"

Lea bit back a tiny, crooked grin as his eyes hooded, his thumb tracing small circles against the fabric of my dress. Then his lips parted, about to speak.

That was when, for the second time that night, a knock came at my door.

That must be Anna. Smile widening as I continued to stare up at Lea, I called out, "Come in."

I heard it open followed by a soft, "Oh!" that caused me to pale and my feet to stumble.

That wasn't the sound of my sister's voice.

My head whipped towards it as I stammered, "M-Mother!" This time when I attempted to break free of Lea's hold, he let me.

She stood there, posture perfect and hands clasped together in front of her. "Sorry, I didn't think you already had company."

"S'okay, I was just leaving," Lea said before pressing a tender kiss to my forehead. "Night," he told me, voice low as his fingers tucked some of my hair behind my ears. Apparently, he couldn't just depart without giving me one final whammy of the warm fuzzies. Jerkface. "Ma'am," he nodded to my mother as he walked past her towards my door, closing it behind him on his way out.

My gaze followed his exit before drifting over to my vanity right beside the door.

More specifically, to the spiked collar still resting on top of it.

Fudge. Had I wondered what my parents' reaction would be if they ever discovered it in here? Yes. Did I particularly need to find out the answer to that little question this very night? Hell no!

Luckily Mother hadn't seemed to notice it on her way in and her back was currently to it as she said, "That young man is… quite the character."

Funny. That's what Father had said. Almost verbatim. I wondered if my parents rehearsed these things.

"He, uh…" I sidled past her, putting myself between her and the choker, blocking her line of sight to it. Then I forced an innocent smile and a weak chuckle, "...he makes me happy."

If she thought my movements strange, she was good at hiding it. "And he seems very fond of you."

"Ah… yes, I suppose so." I casually leaned back against the piece of furniture and slipped a hand behind me, discreetly moving the offending item into one of the vanity's small drawers.

Whew! Mission Hide The Goth Contraband was a success!

The small feeling of victory swiftly waned however and I frowned. "Mother, I…" I began, only to find I had no idea what to say to her.

I hadn't had any idea for years now.

It had not always not always been like this. In fact when I'd been very little, I'd felt like I could share anything and everything with her. She'd been my biggest supporter in all things, especially in my love of the performing arts. As I'd always been such a shy child, she'd gone so far as to even encourage the activity, perhaps in the hopes that it would build my confidence and make me more outgoing.

But as I'd grown older, our relationship had changed. She became more aloof and distant. I suspect she and Father had hoped my interest in theater was just a phase, one I'd grow out of eventually. But when it seemed I wasn't going to - not on my own anyway - she'd started taking a sterner approach with me. That's when she stopped being my friend. That's when it became harder to talk to her. And it'd only gotten harder and harder with time. Things were never quite the same between us after that.

She watched me now, patient for me to continue. Worrying my bottom lip between my teeth, I finally settled on, "Why are you here?"

"I would think the answer should be obvious." Her small, gentle smile caught me off guard, but not nearly as much as her now stepping forward to take both my hands in hers. "I wanted a little time alone with my daughter. Away from your father and grandfather... just the two of us."

My breath hitched, my chest constricted, and before I knew it I was blurting out, "I auditioned for a musical."

Her head reeled back slightly and I winced.

Welp. So much for not letting that cat out of the bag.

I swear, mouth, I can't take you anywhere.

Waiting with bated breath, I searched her wide-eyed gaze for any clue as to what she might be thinking. Was she angry? Annoyed? Disappointed? I couldn't tell as her face gave away nothing for several long seconds. Finally though, she tipped her head to one side, "...did it go well?"

I blinked, a crease emerging between my eyebrows. "I, uh… yes, I think it did. But they won't announce casting until next week."

"I see. Well," and here she was smiling again as she leaned in closer to whisper, "we can just keep that our little secret, hm?"

...who was this woman and what had she done with Mother?

I stared at her before slowly nodding. It was all I could do. Words abandoned me at the moment. I hadn't been prepared at all for this.

And I was even less prepared for what came next.

Mother's gaze softened as she brought her hand up, cupping her cool fingers to my cheek. "That must have taken a lot of courage. I'm very proud of you."

My throat tightened and I swallowed past the lump I felt forming in it. I blinked away some tears, my voice hoarse as I somehow managed to get out, "Th-thank you… Mother."

Had I entered some sort of Twilight Zone? If so, I never wanted to leave.

She regarded me kindly for a second more before her expression turned to that of concern. "You look tired. Have you been sleeping well?"

Honestly, I hadn't. The last good night's rest I'd had was the unplanned sleepover in Lea's room. Every night since then was one night closer and closer to this weekend and whatever unspeakable horrors awaited me. Every night had been less and less dreams, replaced by more and more tossing and turning. I'd actually spent all of last night wide awake, just staring up at my ceiling until the sun had at last arisen.

So, naturally, my answer to Mother was, "Yes."

Her quiet tsk said she didn't believe me. "Come here," she turned away, walking towards my bed and lowering herself down onto it. I hugged myself, feet rooted to the spot as I stared after her, bewildered. Sitting back against my pillows and tucking in her legs, her hand patted the spot on the mattress beside her, "Cuddle close, scooch in."

Instantly I was transported back to when I was a little girl. Back to the last time I'd heard her say those words to me. My response was automatic and before I'd realized it, I'd already curled into her side and was resting my head against her shoulder.

She started humming a familiar lullaby. One she had used to sing for me all the time when I was small. It was from my favorite musical, the same one that the song I'd sang in the tryouts had been from.

This was nice. It wouldn't put me to sleep, but still, it was... nice. Comforting. Nostalgic. Her hand was lightly stroking my arm, my hair, my cheek. Then she was trailing the tip of her pinky down the bridge of my nose slowly before bringing it back up to do it again. An old trick she'd used to use to get me to pass out. Cute. That may have worked when I was a child, but I was an adult now. There's no way it could still possibly have the same effect on me now, not in a million-

Within minutes I was out like a light.

Author's Note: Ah, it's finally here! The dreaded weekend with (dun dun dun)… The Parents (TM)! Elsa's spent most of the story in Lea's KH universe, now it's his turn to spend a few chapters in her Frozen world xP Let me tell you, when I was writing outline notes for this whole story, I had very little planned for this arc at first. I had a smattering of a few vague ideas, but hardly enough to fill even so much as one chapter with! But thankfully, Frozen 2 was released, coming to my rescue and giving me a whole new host of Frozen characters to include xD Then the ideas started flowing, thank goodness! Soooooo, more F2 characters to be introduced in the chapters to come! Fun Fact: Elsa's dress this chapter (complete with lil necklace) is loosely based on the dress she wears at the beginning of F2 for the Some Things Never Change song, just picture it shorter (cuz apparently I just want to do that to all her dresses) and with a maybe slightly poofier skirt.

Next chapter, what new trial and tribulations does The Weekend (capital T, capital W) hold in store for our couple? Is there something up with Anna or she just being her normal oddball self? Was there a reason behind Mother's unexpected show of affection? Will there be trouble brewing at Gramps' bday shindig? Just who REALLY is the cuter cutie to ever cute: Lea or Elsa's wonky snowman plushie? Stay tuned!

Thanks for reading, I super duper appreciate it! And an extra BIG thank you to those of you who’ve liked, reblogged, and followed so far, seeing those lil notifications always brings the biggest, goofiest smile to my face!

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