#boneler | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thelightsandtheroses · 1 year

Text

Secret Smile: Giving In (Chapter Nine)

Javier Peña x female reader

Summary: Before returning to Colombia to get things right this time, Javi’s childhood best friend asks him to keep an eye out for his sister while they’re both stationed in the embassy. Only you don’t need Javier to keep an eye you her. Your role as a new legal advisor is all about keeping an eye on him after all. Sparks fly, lines will be drawn and broken and there’s everything to lose.

Word Count: 3k Chapter Warnings: 18+ blog, smut (p in v, oral f receiving and fingering), language, reader has a nickname (Blue) but no physical descriptors are used. Reader’s age range is mentioned once in this chapter (previously established that is a similar age to Javi but slightly younger) Notes: Okay, so we’re here guys. The slow burn is burning! I am not a natural smut writer in the slightest but I have tried! Please be kind.

The kiss is bitterness, desperation, and relief all at once. It tastes like fire and feels like a summer breeze. It’s contradiction after contradiction.

He traces kisses down your neck, entwines his fingers with yours, pushes your back against the window and when he meets your lips again, when your kiss deepens you hear him groan.

“I don’t want you to regret this. I don’t want this to be about them.” He breaks away from you, panting slightly. “Don’t want you to regret me,” he adds in a low voice that tells you everything about what he’s really thinking.

“It’s not. And I couldn’t.”

This is Javi after all. You have wanted him for so long.

That’s all it takes, he takes your hands in his and kisses you as he gently guides you to his sofa, roams his hands down your waist, traces kisses down your jaw.

There’s safety in his arms and all the noise and anxiety in your head is fading away with each touch, each caress, each kiss.

You hastily unbutton your blouse, allowing Javi to remove the rest of it, his hands then drawing a line up your waist to meet the edge of your bra. You mentally thank whatever divine force inspired you to wear your good bra today as his fingers tantalising hover over the edge of the lace.

“You’re fucking gorgeous,” he whispers in your ear. “Wanted you like this for ages.”

“Really?”

“You sound surprised.”

“I thought you hated me when you arrived.”

Javier groans against your neck, a gesture that shouldn’t make the heat pool between your legs like it does.

”How many times have I got to say that I never hated you? I hated that they put you in this position., Cariño, do you really want talk about this right now?”

His hand is edging up your leg, below your skirt and tracing up, up, up to skim the outer edges of your underwear. You’re sure he can feel the effect he’s having on you already despite the cotton layer between you. The layer you’re suddenly desperate to be rid of.

“No.” You pause and then quietly add, “I want you to take me to your bedroom.”

Javier smiles: a full glowing smile you haven’t seen before those brushes past the. “I can work with that.”

You’re touching or kissing the whole time he guides you to his bed. In the moment, you’re finally able to unbutton his shirt, discard it on the floor in your journey, and to feel the heat and solid skin on his torso. His heart is thumping when your fingers skim over his chest before sliding your hands lower.

His hand between your legs, fingers deftly moving up your folds, between your slick to find just that spot.

His fingers touching, touching you, reaching inside you. One then two - opening you up and finding that pace, that rhythm that has your breath ragged and eyes closed, tantalising close but then he -

He tastes you on his fingers, sucking each digit before salaciously smirking and moving down, down, down to place his mouth on you.

He’s meticulous; one hand on your hip as he carefully takes you apart with each kiss, lick, the way his nose feels against your clit.

The heat in you builds and builds again and this time you let go. Let the white heat take you away and leave you boneless.

He’s with you again, kisses your

“Do you have protection?” you ask as your heart still races and ears buzz.

Javi nods. “Bedside cabinet.” He reaches over and pulls the box from the drawer and you unbutton his trousers.

Hands everywhere. You can’t not touch, every movement tracing heat down your body.

There’s that moment as the two of you finally connect, as he eases himself into you.

For a second, the two of you pause and you mentally adjust to the weight and feel of him, your gaze is focused on each other. Javi leans down to kiss you once again. This time it’s surprisingly gentle.

You loop your arms around his broad shoulders as he finally moves.

It takes a moment to get just the right pace but then it’s there and it’s magic and the two of you move together, connect in a way you would never have expected a year ago but now realise was always the ending.

Fate has bought you together and this, maybe this is why.

The crescendo builds.

Then you both finally let go of it all.

You wake up in an unfamiliar bed. It’s been a while since that happened. There’s a pleasant ache, flashes of the night before coming to you as you flutter open your eyes.

Javi’s there next to you, all heat and warmth, one arm sprawled over your side, the other curved above his head. You turn carefully so you’re facing him but you don’t wake him either.

His eyes are shut, a peaceful expression on his face. One you haven’t seen before but you want to see again and again and again.

The two of you have really crossed the point of no return now.

A brief stab of anxiety hits you. Where do the two of you go from here?

Can you truly stay in Colombia much longer? Since Javi arrived, it’s been clear your role has an eventual expiry date. You could go to another embassy, carry on advising, but you’d be away from Javi.

How would that work?

You’re not sure you can take the politics or messiness much longer anymore. It wears at you, corrodes you over time. You’re exhausted and you’re not making the difference you hoped.

You went to law school with naive aspirations and none of them have been realised.

Javi’s eyes gradually open in front of you.

“Morning,” he grumbles, moving to rub his eyes in a gesture that feels so young, so vulnerable.

“Hi.”

You feel awkward for a moment. Conscious of the vulnerability of this moment, of the fact you have no idea if you’re welcome to stay or expected to leave.

“Coffee?” he asks sleepily, tracing idle shoes down your side.

“Yeah, if you’re making some.“

“Course. If you want to stay, that is.”

“I do.”

“Good,” Javi stretches, moving his arm away from you. You pout at the loss of contact, the sudden coolness from his hand not being on you.

“Mind if I have a shower while you make coffee?” you ask drowsily, hoping the hot water will wake you up properly, shake off the gnawing anxiety of what comes next.

He shakes his head, mumbles where he keeps fresh towels before leaning over you to kiss you, his hands once more roaming down your side and

“Could join you,” he murmurs.

Well, that should definitely wake you up and shift the anxieties away, you think as you smile back at him.

You can smell the coffee on the stove as you walk into Javi’s kitchen, zipping your skirt up as you go. In hindsight, turning up at his apartment in your work clothes had not been the best, or most comfortable, idea.

You’re also not sure how you’ll hide the fact they’re from yesterday in the office; your blouse is crumpled and creased. Maybe Javi can drop you off at your apartment before work so you can quickly change, or you can borrow a shirt.

Maybe you’re just the right level of invisible that no one would notice.

“You hungry?” he asks, looking over at you.

“Depends on how bad a cook you are.“

“I’ve survived this long,” he says with a smirk.

“Yeah, but so’s Rafa and he would probably burn water.”

“He’s a doctor.”

“And you’ll be glad if he is if he ever cooks for you. It’s balance,” you say sagely.

“I can scramble eggs, or we can pick something up on the way in? I can drop you off, but I have to go somewhere before the office this morning,” Javi says lightly.

“ Go where?” There’s something in the air, something he’s not telling you.

“An appointment.” He shifts awkwardly, avoiding your eyes.

“Javi - what’s going on?”

“I - I can’t let it go,” he says finally.

“Let what go?” you ask, a growing sense of concern at his words.

“I have a meeting with Carolina Alvarez.” You recognise the name; she’s the journalist Javi was working with earlier in the year. You piece together his plan quickly, realise Javier Peña has one last move left.

It shouldn’t surprise you at all.

“Tell me, are you going to do what I think you are?”

“If I say yes, are you going to yell at me again?” he asks gently.

You say his name like a warning.

“I arranged it yesterday, before you - before we -“ Javi breaks off and then sighs. “ I - I can’t let this go, Blue. Please don’t ask me to.”

You walk over to him. His shirt is partly buttoned, tie loose around his neck. You touch his cheek, let him lean into it before shifting your hands to his broad shoulders.

“Professionally speaking, I am not your lawyer so I cannot advise you on this, or be party to it.” You pause, smoothing his shirt and then looking at him with what you hope is a focused gaze, “Personally speaking though, Javi, if you don’t do this interview, then I will.”

“Blue - ” Javi looks at you dumbfounded.

“Now, I agree it will sound better if it comes from you rather than me,” you continue. “It’ll be more convincing; it will contain first-hand evidence as opposed to my second-hand knowledge. You know more about this than I probably ever will. I just want you to know though that I get it, Javi, that I’m with you.”

There’s a heavy silence between the two of you. You know Javi understands why you feel this way; why any perceived corruption would set you alight like this, bring up your ghosts and demons back. You don’t need to say it, neither of you do.

The two of you are haunted by different spectres of your pasts, and now you even share some of the same pains from your year together in Colombia. The two of you may be the only people who can truly understand this decision right now.

Javi has to do this - there is no way he can just walk away without doing this, without one last attempt for the truth to be known, for the right thing to be done. You know him. This is the only way this chapter in your lives can end.

“They’ll fire you. They’ll fire both of us when it comes out,” Javi says flatly.

“I know.” You sigh heavily. “You’ll need to resign just before publication. Promise me you will?”

“And you?” He loops his hands around your waist, pulls you closer to him. “I don’t want to jeopardise your future with this, Blue. My career with the DEA - it’s done. Your career doesn’t have to be though.”

“I’ll get something in motion. I don’t know if I can - if I can resign before you without raising an alarm so - I’m not sure how I’ll do this if I’m honest. It’s - if they know it’s you, then I’ve probably definitely failed at what they wanted me to do with you so they would -” you trail off.

“No, no, absolutely not. You are not getting fired over this. I am not getting you fired, cariño. You can’t ask me to be okay with that.”

“I agree, Javi. I won’t be. Look, I - I have some ideas. I told you before, I’m really good at what I do. You just worry about what you want to say.”

You go to kiss his cheek lightly but he tilts his head at the last moment with a knowing smirk so you’re meeting his lips instead.

You wrap your arms around his shoulders as he presses you against his kitchen counter, moves his hands from your waist to your hips.

You open your mouth to deepen the kiss.

You could spend hours like this.

“You have an appointment, Javi,” you say as he moves his kisses down your neck.

“I can be a little late,” he mumbles, resting his head in the crook of your neck.

“No, you can’t. Wear the red tie, it looks good on you.”

“She’s not filming me, Blue.”

“It’ll help, trust me.”

The stares follow Javi as he walks into the embassy, shoving his car keys into his jacket pocket.

The article is live - everybody is talking about it.

As he rounds the corner past the ambassador’s office, he notices Linda’s watchful eyes on him.

“He wants to see you today,” she says calmly, by way of warning. “I think after this call - expect to be summoned in the hour.”

“I hear you,” Javi says casually.

“It’s not looking good for you, Agent Peña.”

“I expect not.” He’s already resigned, took your advice, and had called the office in DC before he even left his apartment.

The two of you had spent the night before together again; distracting yourself from the knowledge the article was imminent by taking distraction in each other bodies.

He’s learning all the ways to take you apart; the expressions on your face as you grow close, the sounds you make, the way you taste.

You both wasted so much time, he thinks. We could have been doing this all along.

“He fired her, y’know.”

“What?”

She mumbles your name and it sends dread throughout his body. It’s a wave of anxiety, nausea, anger, and fear. His heart races and his palms are sticky.

“They fired her?”

“First thing this morning. She’s already left the building, Javier.”

You’d gone into work earlier than him after saying that you had some paperwork you needed to file.

You lied to him.

You told him this wouldn’t happen, that you had a plan, but he realises that you knew what would happen all along.

You let him do it anyway.

Javi’s hit with the sinking sense that he’s really fucked up. He’s ruined your career. He’s infected your life like poison, creeping and suffocating your ambitions. He took you down with him and he never meant to.

He quickly schools his expression, doesn’t say a word to Linda and carries on down to the DEA office.

Feistl and Van Ness are there, reading the article and both look at over him with unreadable expressions.

Stoddard stands from his desk and no one says a word to him.

It’s powerful really. He’s rendered them speechless, but he can feel it, the confusion, the sense of betrayal, the sense that he’s right and the relief it’s not them in his shoes today.

Before Stoddard can speak, Javi says, “When the Ambassador’s ready for me, let me know. I’ll be in my office.”

He shuts the door behind him and sits at his desk and waits.

“You said you had a plan, you said you would make sure this wouldn’t happen.” Javi looks angry, rests his head back against your bedroom wall as he watches you place folded clothes into your suitcase.

“I know.” You smile at Javi affectionately. “I lied to you.”

“It’s not okay. This is not okay.”

“Our visas are pulled, you’ve resigned and they’re firing me. We’re being flown back to DC, Javi. This is the situation we’re in and we need to work with this. Now you have to finish your handover and I - I have some meetings to get through too in DC -”

“You told me you wouldn’t get fired,” he says desperately, “You let me go into that interview, knowing they’d fire you for it.”

“Yes. I’d do it again.”

“What are you going to tell your family, cariño? What do I tell Rafa, huh? God, he asked me to look out for you.”

“What?”

“Oh, yeah, shit, I didn’t tell you that.”

“No, you didn’t. Okay, I’m in my thirties, does no one in my family think I can look after myself?”

”You are technically getting fired right now,” Javi says, raising his arms in mock surrender at your thunderous expression.

“Thin ice, baby.”

He whispers your name in a low voice. “I didn’t want to get you fired, that wasn’t what we agreed. I wouldn’t have -”

“I told you where I stood on this, Javi. Look, have you considered that I have a plan?”

“Well, seeing as you said that before when you assured me you wouldn’t get fired because of me, then I have little confidence in any plan you have.“

“And I did have a plan then, and now I have another plan.”

“Blue. I’m not worth -”

“This was the right thing to do. It wasn’t about you, it was the right thing. Do you trust me?”

It’s an echo to your early conversations when you needed him to do something that you couldn’t do either. It’s a callback to when neither of you had placed faith in each other, but now, now you think the answer might be different.

“Of course,” Javi says firmly. “Of course I do.”

“Good, so trust me.” You kiss his cheek before going back to zip your suitcase. “I’ve got this.”

Tag List

Secret Smile tag-list @darkroastjoel @sullyosully@catsickyellow@spishsstuff@casa-boiardi@living-for-jesus-and-telenovelas@pastelnap@babeincolor@iamskyereads@angelofsmalldeath-codeine

Everything Pedro tag-list: @harriedandharassed@pedrostories@hiroikegawa@pedrosaidsheispunk

If you want to be added to (or removed from) one of the tag lists, let me know or you can get notifications for @thelightsandtheroses-fics if you prefer. If you do not have an age or age range showing you are over 18, I will not add you to this list. I block ageless and blank blogs.

#javier peña x reader #javi peña x reader #javier peña x female reader #javier peña fanfiction #javier peña x you #javi pena x reader #javier pena x female reader #javier peña #javier pena x reader #javier pena #javi pena #*secret smile

104 notes · View notes