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#boyfriend harry styles
0nlythrowharrybeaux · 3 months
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A Twist of Fate
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Y/N and Harry are exes who have moved on wit their lives and with other people, but have never stopped loving each other. And in an unbelievable twist of fate reconnect. But after all that time, can they still have a future together?
A Twist of Fate Masterlist
WARNINGS: A wee bit of emotional cheating and a steamy unfaithful make out WITH A VERY CUTE moment with the shaved head 🥹🫶
WC: 15K
To Harry, you had always been the one that got away. Your time together had been so good. You both grew and learned, and loved so much but life just got in the way. The split broke you both because you were certain that no matter what, at the end of the day it would always be you together. Learning that it wouldn’t be was devastating. 
For a while you even stopped believing in love and in the good of the universe. Because if love was real, how cruel did the universe actually have to be to tear you apart? It had been a love like neither of you had ever experienced. Your souls were alight for each other and every interaction you exchanged, every hug, every kiss, every glance, every touch fed the fire of your love and passion for each other for five wonderful years. And when the time came for it to end it was heart wrenching. There was just far too much conflict in time and distance, it sometimes felt like your managers were doing it on purpose, you both knew it wasn’t true, of course. You were just starting to reach new levels of fame and were in high demand and you couldn’t keep doing what you were doing to yourselves in trying to make it work.
So when Harry signed on to yet another film and you had gone into the studio for your album you had to reevaluate your relationship. It had to be done over the phone while there was an entire ocean between you because even though it was the wrong way to go about it, you just couldn’t look into each other’s eyes while admitting defeat. There was absolutely no way. It was hard to even breathe at first, but with time it got a bit better and better, and soon you’d met other people and were on your way to being happy like before. But that brought you to this day. After years of being broken up and never speaking or seeing each other you were both frozen in the hallway of a studio in Los Angeles looking right at each other. Time was at a standstill as you just stared for a moment. Both completely shocked at your run in. Harry’s tongue suddenly felt heavy and knotted up and his hands felt like they were prickling. He just wanted to reach out and touch you.
“Y/N, I’ve missed you.” He finally said. But you barely heard it over the obnoxiously loud pounding of your heart.
“I missed you too.” You whispered breathlessly as you looked him over. A smile came to your lips as you admired him from up close. You chuckled and shook your head because his hair was gone! And he looked great. So well rested, stronger, taller, and more youthful somehow.
“Can I hug you?” He asked and at his question you hurried into his arms, not bothering with a response. 
As soon as you touched everything felt better. The fires in your hearts were burning again because the love had never run out. If anything it got stronger with the distance somehow. But things were not as they used to be. He had a girlfriend of nearly a year now and you had just started dating someone just a couple months prior. You had been resigned to the fact that for your circumstance, love just wasn’t enough so you both moved on. The embrace was long, you were taking your time in his arms and he was taking in your scent. How he missed the sweet and inviting smell that wafted around you like a cloud. It seemed like it had been too soon when you started pulling back from his hold, but he willed himself to loosen his grip to give you the space to depart from him.
“Your hair!” You smiled brightly and he chuckled.
“I know…After the tour ended it just felt like the end of an era, you know? Time for a big change.” He smiled through his explanation and you nodded in understanding.
“Yeah, I get that. I love it! It looks great!” You complimented as you looked him over once more.
“Yeah?” He asked timidly and you nodded quickly. He knew he didn’t need your approval, but having it made him feel even better about his decision.
“How long are you in town?” You asked, your hands slid down his arms from around his neck and landed in his. Feeling your soft and warm skin meeting his own had his mind going fuzzy. He could feel his heart reaching out to you with how hard it pounded.
“I uh- I leave tomorrow. I just had a quick thing I needed to take care of. Was only here a few days.” He said and you felt a lump forming in your throat. Gone so soon…a tease of fate.
“Oh.” You responded and he nodded, a sad smile came over his face.
“Yeah.” He squeezed your hands a bit harder, “Ummm, I’m at the Roosevelt. In the Marylin Monroe suite. Maybe we can grab dinner tonight, around 8?” He asked hopefully and you frowned. The universe was heartless and cruel, it was confirmed.
“I actually can’t tonight, Harry. I have plans with my…” you trailed off before shifting your gaze down to the buttons of his shirt. They were all done up now, unlike before, when he barely bothered after the third one up.
“Someone you’re seeing?” He asked and you nodded, not able to look at him as you confirmed.
“Sorry.” You said, finally looking back into his eyes.
“I’m not- I mean, it’s alright. That you’re, you know, putting yourself out there.” He put on a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.
“Yeah?” You asked and he nodded. You were holding onto each other for dear life, “I’m happy I ran into you, though. I missed you. Been thinking about you lately as well.” You said again through a small smile.
“I’m really happy I got to see you too.” He confirmed through his own smile; it was definitely genuine this time.
“Well, I should get going and let you get to the studio.” You said and he nodded.
“Right. C’mere.” He said pulling you back in for a hug. This time you inhaled his own warm, musky, and familiar scent as his warmth settled into your own body. “Take good care of yourself.” He mumbled to you before kissing the side of your head.
“You too, H.” You hummed before you let go and you continued down the hall. You stopped and turned back to see that he was still standing there, watching you leave and you smiled, planting a kiss to your palm and pretending like you threw it at him and he smiled brightly as he pretended he caught it and pressed his palm to his heart and you waved before you left the building.
************
“You seem distracted.” Caitlyn, your best friend, pointed out as she glanced over from her desk to you, sitting across from her, just staring out the window behind her.
“I know, I’m sorry…I don’t think I’ll be much help for brainstorming right now.” You said and Caitlyn frowned.
“What happened?”
“I was doing Seb the favor of dropping off a demo of a new song to his producer and on my way out I ummm…H-harry was there.” You said and Caitlyn’s eyes went wide.
“What the hell? I thought he was in London!” She gasped.
“He will be tomorrow. S’his last night.” You explained.
“Are you alright?” She asked you right away.
“I think so…he invited me to dinner at his hotel, but I have plans with Seb tonight so I can’t.”
“Well maybe it’s for the best, friend. I mean…I know how it was with you guys and like, I know you’re both good people, but maybe it wouldn’t be the wisest thing to have dinner with him at his hotel. Alone.” Caitlyn reasoned and you nodded.
“Yeah, I think you’re right…I mean, besides, he has a girlfriend too so best not to do something platonic that could seem sketchy."
“Exactly.” Caitlyn concurred. “Well, are you feeling OK? Did it bring anything up for you?”
“Just a little sadness… nostalgia? I mean, we put in so much work, you know? I swear we were endgame.” You said quietly with some disappointment.
“Yeah…did he seem happy?”
“I guess? I didn’t ask really. I don’t want to know…” you sighed, “Buzzed his head though.” You smiled and Caitlyn gasped audibly.
“No way!” She laughed in disbelief.
“Yeah! It’s a different look, but he looks really good. It suits him more than I would expect.” You chuckled and then fell silent for a few seconds.
“Y/N, do you still…have feelings for him?” Caitlyn asked carefully and you sighed.
“Think I’ll always have feelings for him…” you said lowly. “Like, it’s Harry!” You said and Caitlyn pouted and nodded in understanding. “It was definitely nice to see him though, even if it was fast.”
“Well maybe it’s good that it was a brief run in. Didn’t have to linger and talk about things that would make you both even more sad.” Caitlyn suggested.
“Maybe I need to be more sad…like I’ve been in a bit of a slump writing-wise…” you said.
“Use this sad, Y/N. The nostalgia, the not knowing, the wondering, you really don’t need more than that.” Caitlyn said and you sighed, “And don’t google him. Or his girlfriend.” She warned and you cackled.
“Of course not! I’m not you.” you quipped with a teasing grin.
“Look, cyberstalking is a necessary evil sometimes.”
“I can’t agree with that statement.” You chuckled.
“Just because you suck at it…” Caitlin sassed.
“I don’t think internet stalking is a skill to be proud of, Cait.” You giggled.
“Look, all I know is that one day, my skills will come in handy.” She said simply and you knocked your head back as you laughed at your best friend’s nonsense.
*************
Harry had not been able to stop thinking about you since the afternoon. He had made a quick detour to LA to meet with some of his producers. He was planning to take a bit of a longer break to focus on other projects and passions and just live for himself a little bit. He was just outlining a plan for his next album since he had already renewed his contract.
In truth, he was glad that he had been able to tour when he did because you had just ended things. He just went right into entertain mode and got so much out of his system. But being back on the road, meeting new people, putting himself back out there, it helped a lot. And then the one thing he thought wasn’t possible happened. He met someone else and he moved on. He felt that he had moved into it quite fast as they’d only been friends for a month or so, but they’d been together almost a year now and it was going well. Was he happy? He was. Wasn’t he?
Obviously, he knew he’d eventually see you but he wasn’t ready for it now. It wasn’t the best time because while he’d moved on, you still had an effect on him. He still dreamt of you sometimes. He still felt butterflies in his stomach when he thought of you, even now when he remembered how you had hugged him. He loved the way your fingers felt as you skimmed them down his arms before you could hold his hands just for a moment. You looked so good too…you’d always opted for shorter hair, to the shoulders or a bit less, but it was longer now, it suited you. Your eyes were bright and your smile just as warm and inviting as it had always been. He would be lying if he said that his heart didn’t skip a beat when he saw you. But being in your presence like that, it suddenly felt like no time had passed at all. 
He felt kind of stupid for asking you to dinner…in hindsight it was good that you were busy. To be alone with you while his heart and tummy were doing all these weird and fluttery things that they did every time he was around you, that couldn’t be a great idea.
The hardest thing to get over was that he loved how he felt around you, it was magical. Your energies matched so well. What you had together had was unmatched, there wasn’t anyone who had brought that same feeling to him before or now. You cared for him in ways that made him feel seen and understood as a person, the whole of him, good and bad…he had no idea how you did it, but it just came so naturally from you. Your ability to relate and communicate and accept other people as they were was innate and he missed that about you. He missed how easy it was to receive the kind of love and care that you gave and that he needed. Not that he wasn’t feeling cared for now, he definitely was, but it wasn’t the same as with you of course…no one was you. He snapped out of his thoughts when his phone started ringing loudly, cutting off the music he was running to.
“Hey man, what’s up?” He greeted Jeffrey who was on the other line.
“Hey H, how’d the meeting go?”
“Good. We set a schedule for the next couple of things so that’s squared away.”
“Excellent.” Jeffrey hummed, “Look man, I know you’re supposed to be taking off tomorrow but someone reached out to me from A24 about a possible Bowie bio pic. They’re really interested in talking to you about it.”
“I don’t know, Jeff…”
“I told them you might not be interested, but they were really insistent that you’d be great for the role and just wanted to pick your brain a bit. You definitely don’t have to commit to anything yet, they just want to talk to you about it.” He said and he hummed pensively.
“When’s the meeting?”
“They said Thursday of next week. They have this like vision board and a script they want to have you look over and whatnot.”
“Can it be sooner?”
“Nope. The director is on some remote site for another project now and will be back in town on Thursday.” Harry sighed upon hearing this.
“Fuck…fine. I’ll wait it out then. Can you get me another room then? I still have to check out of here tomorrow.”
“Yeah man, I’ll take care of it now and send the details over, alright?”
“Sounds good. Talk soon.”
“Yep, love you man. Bye.”
“Love ya’. Bye.” Harry said and then hung up.
Honestly, Harry had no interest in doing this film, he was certain they could get someone else, someone far better in his opinion. And he’d definitely watch it, but right now he had every interest in staying longer and getting to see you again. As reckless as it might be to see you with all of these feelings brewing in him, it was a need. It brought him back to old times, where even when you’d be busy, you’d do reckless things like stay extra days in a country just to be able to cross paths while you both worked. Or fly from one end of the US to the other just to have dinner…it was kind of an awful habit to just do things like that on a whim, but he felt that he could handle this. After all, old habits die hard and indulging in something that reminded him of how in love he was, despite the struggles, it was worth remembering.
***********
All throughout dinner so far you had been thinking of Harry. How maybe you should’ve made an alternate plan to see him after dinner. Like maybe grab coffee, or a glass of wine, perhaps visit your favorite ice cream shop…but you halted yourself when it got to the ice cream because that would be far too special for just a catch up. That’s the place you realized you were in love with him and surely the resurgence of those feelings would be strong, to say the least. 
“What’s going on, babe?” Sebastian asked you and you huffed.
“Just had a weird day.” You explained as you played with your food a bit more, hoping that your appetite would increase.
“Why’s that?”
“I ummm… I saw Harry.” You decided to just tell him straight up.
Sebastian had been someone you’d known for a while, ever since you were starting out. You would semi-frequently run into each other at open mic nights, karaoke bars, talent shows, scouting shows. You weren’t close friends or anything deep, you just had drinks with the other few people who were nice and chill and struggling to get their big break. Luckily, yours came quite swiftly and then you were out of that scene. He’d never gotten your number, but when you made it and your first song went #1 he did send you a fan letter, as he had no other way to reach you. And he was so happy for you and proud of you, and you reached out. That’s when you learned he was in talks with a label then too. He gave you his number and you started catching up a bit and then Harry happened and you friend zoned him (according to him, you had never really been interested like that). Once you got with Harry you were MIA for a bit, you just didn’t know who you could trust at the start since Harry was far more famous and super private about everything, understandably so. 
But then, Harry met all your friends, Seb included, and he saw how you were with Harry and he let go of whatever hope he had that you two could be together. He had shared that with you a bit after you’d gotten together. He just couldn’t believe that after dating someone as big as Harry you’d give him a chance. But in all fairness, anyone who had experienced you and Harry together could tell you how palpable your love was. How intense and dedicated you were to each other for the near five years you spent together. Lots of conversations started with a “When you guys get married…” and you wouldn’t bat an eye. Of course you wanted to get married and have a life together. All this to say that Sebastian knew what it meant or could mean for you to see Harry again. He had been there for all of it and now he was a bit scared…
“Today?” He asked and you nodded.
“Well, it was more of a running into type of situation than a deliberate seeing each other.” You explained.
“I see. Where?”
“At the studio. I was on my way out as he was coming in for something.”
“Are you okay?”
“I think so…I’m just…I don’t know, it brought up a lot of shit, you know?”
“I can imagine.”
“So that’s why I’m a bit…weird. I just…I don’t know. Like I saw him and I missed him, you know?”
“And does he miss you?”
“He said he does.” You shrugged, “I mean, I told him about you, so it wasn’t like that.” You emphasized, “But yeah, I just wasn’t expecting that.” He mumbled.
“I’m sorry.” He said reaching his hand out for yours and you took it as you glanced down to watch your hands connect.
“It’s fine.” 
“How long is he in town?”
“He leaves tomorrow morning. Asked me to dinner, that’s when I brought you up and said we had plans.” You smiled at him and he smirked.
“Oh wow…I mean, I would’ve understood if you ditched me for thee Harry Styles. But I appreciate you choosing to keep our plans.” He said with a slightly smug and victorious grin.
“Of course, babe.” You assured him with a smile.
But that didn’t mean that mentally you weren’t sitting across from Harry at the Roosevelt having an equally nice glass of wine and catching up over what the last couple years apart had been like for you.
*************
Harry very seldom used social media, especially for celebrity gossip purposes, but he found himself hunched over the table in his bedroom eating dinner alone while typing up your name in the Instagram search bar and going to the tags. Much like his, your instagram was now for professional use, so he knew there wouldn’t be anything personal to find there so he didn’t bother with your profile, hashtags were where it was at. And as soon as the page loaded, an avalanche of images came up. He went to the first one and it was a fan video, secretly taken of course, of you over dinner with your boyfriend. Sebastian?
“You’re dating Sebastian? That Hozier rip off? Really?!” He muttered to himself bitterly.
He watched the clip replay a few times.You two were clearly talking about something a bit serious as you weren’t smiling at first. But then he reached for your hand and you took it and smiled. He selfishly hoped you were talking about him just then… 
of course, he would hate it if someone took videos of him like that at a private dinner, but he now understood why people did it. It was better than just seeing it with your own two eyes. This was forever. He could sit there all night and watch as your lips slowly turned up towards the end and smiled at him. He could watch your hand reaching out to touch Sebastian’s. He could sit there and theorize about where this conversation was going…it could just be a serious topic of conversation, an amicable break up, some good news… Crumbs. That’s all these things were, just crumbs. He scrolled a bit and got to some other photos and videos of Sebastian at your shows, you at his shows, out and about…it was making his stomach twist up with jealousy and regret. 
Harry didn’t find that he got jealous much anymore, he felt more secure in himself and in his relationships, he had matured, a lot of things went into that. But a part of his heart would always belong to you and seeing you sharing your affection with someone else, it made him sick to his stomach. He scrolled down further, hoping to see something about you two but there was only disappointment. 
When you were together he was so fucking paranoid that the public would ruin what you had that there was no PDA, everything was so clandestine…you’d been papped alone a few times walking around together, at events, and a few other mundane situations but not like what you had with Sebastian over the last couple months. There were no pictures of you two holding hands, or smiling at each other the way you often did when you were alone or with trusted friends and family. There were no videos of you kissing in the corner of a dark party or side stage at a show…and whatever videos you had with each other…well, those had to go in case any of you ever got hacked or something. He did have a few pictures, but they were in his albums at home and probably scanned into a USB or something similar and it was just lying around collecting dust somewhere. He tried searching you two up and yeah, nothing. Just the couple things he knew of.
“Fucking ridiculous…” he mumbled with his mouth full as he went back to stalking you and Sebastian just a little bit longer. Sebastian had you all over his page; sure he was verified but he was still a smaller artist when compared to him or you, so he could afford to show a bit of his private life without people losing their heads over it.
Harry stopped when he started getting sad and also when a text from Tay came in responding to his news of his change of travel plans. Then he felt bad for lying, for staying longer than he needed to. But the sooner he went back home, the sooner he could forget all about you and what was and immerse himself in the world he lived in now. But then, the sooner he left the sooner he’d be without you close by. The sooner he’d be breathing someone else’s air…sure, there were millions of people in LA, but knowing that you were one of them did things to him.
…. A FEW DAYS LATER ….
If there was one thing you hated to do that Caitlyn loved to do, it was work out. You’d always been a bit lazy for it and did the bare minimum you could get away with. which was still excessive in your opinion, especially when you’d go with Caitlyn. One of her friends, Melissa, had invited the two of you to her friend’s new pilates studio and well, that was one of your hard limits. Barre and Pilates both were! Like what kind of sick fuck can bend that way? Is what you constantly thought to yourself as you’d literally have to have someone hold your body in certain positions to complete the routine.
Since Melissa knew Ilse, the owner of the studio, you were working out in a private studio, which you were eternally grateful for just to spare you from embarrassment at the very least. The last thing you wanted was to become an internet meme because you somehow got tangled up in a pilates machine.
“Alright, great form ladies and just hold a few more seconds…” Ilse hummed to you all. She was sweet to encourage you as if she weren’t currently holding you in position.
“What is going on out there? It’s getting loud.” Melissa pointed out, which made Ilse, turn as well.
“I’m going to go check it out.” She said releasing you from your position before rushing out of the smaller studio.
“Thank fuck.” You sighed as you just left your legs in the suspenders you’d been in for that position Ilse had you in.
“How you holding up?” Caitlyn asked with a grin.
“This is…terrible.” You confessed and you all laughed a bit. “Who wants to leave and feel like a wet noodle for three days after?” You whined.
“It feels great! I love the soreness.” Melissa said and you scoffed.
“You’re insane.” You said to Melissa.
“I am. Clinically.” She agreed and you laughed again at her joke. You was just laying there, legs still suspended in the air, at least this way you were getting good circulation. But mostly because you were afraid to move with how sore you already felt after just a half an hour of pilates. Then Ilse came back in capturing their attention.
“Harry Styles is here.” She said and this made Caitlyn turn to you quickly. You then attempted to sit up properly, “He’s gonna do his thing in here too so that no one bugs him.” she explained. You were still fighting to get up from your laying position with your legs suspended above you. Finally you got your foot out of the fucking loop and were trying to get the other one out before he came in, “Y/N, be careful.” Ilse warned as she started to make her way over to help. But she paused when the door opened behind her and in came Harry in a gray, long sleeve shirt and some tiny, navy blue shorts. You swallow thickly and pulled harder on the cable.
“Ilse, thank you so much for letting me join-” A small shriek interrupted Harry as he came into the private studio. They all saw you fall out of the machine and they hurried over and huddled above you. And there you were on the ground, one of your feet still stuck in the loop of the cable, leaving it extended high above the rest of your body. How humiliating… Your eyes met his and you saw as he rolled his lips together to prevent his laughter from spilling out. You’d always had an aversion to exercising as he recalled.
“Oh my god! Are you OK?!” Ilse asked you. And then you were bursting into laughter, causing Ilse’s shoulders to lose their tension. 
When your eyes met his again as you laughed he sputtered on his own laughter before it just spilled out of him and then your friends laughed along at your mishap as well. Harry was quick to step up and help you get your foot free and then Ilse helped you up.
“Thank you.” You said to Ilse and Harry with a warm face and bashful smile.
“Of course. Do you need ice or something?” Ilse asked and you shook her head.
“I’m fine. I’ll just sit the rest out. Do some free weights.”
“Real convenient, missy.” Caitlyn mumbled and you grinned. Harry soon greeted Caitlyn and then properly greeted Melissa.
“So how do you guys know each other?” She asked the three of you.
“Just industry friends.” You said quickly with a decisive nod and Harry glanced at you. Your eyes averted to Cailtyn’s who just looked to Harry after a few seconds.
“Cool, well let’s keep going then.” Ilse suggested. Since you had decided to just do some free wights across the room Harry took your spot as Ilse guided them through the rest of the routine. 
Harry was stealing glances. Not that you weren’t, but you were far more subtle about it. He couldn’t help it though. He knew her body just as well as he knew his own. And just watching you move was bringing back so many memories. He’s the one that discovered you had a birthmark right near the crook of your inner thigh. He’s the person who discovered that you had a group of freckles and beauty marks on your mid back that almost resembled the entire Orion constellation. He’s the person who knew that you hated that one of your boobs was “much smaller” than the other. He thought they were pretty symmetrical, but whatever. He knew every scar you had. He knew each tattoo, he’d been there for many of them. He knew that there was this one eyelash you had that always grew in a little crooked and he’d always help you pluck it out after you’d beg and beg because it ruined your mascara. He knew the shape you liked to pluck your eyebrows in. He knew the shape of your lips and the shade of your eyes. He knew everything there was to know about you. 
So yeah, he was looking and remembering all the little things about you that made you the beautiful, smart, talented, and unique person that you were. He hadn’t allowed himself to love and obsess over anyone like that ever again, it took too much out of him. Just you. 
“I thought you were supposed to leave a few days ago?” Caitlyn said. And well, if Caitlyn knew this, that meant you had talked about her to him.
“Something came up. Have another meeting on Thursday. S’for a film, the director isn’t back in town until then.” He elaborated.
“Ooh what film?”
“A possible Bowie biopic.” He said and she looked impressed.
“Nice. Are you interested in the project?” She asked just as you bent over to grab your water bottle and Harry got a little lost for a moment. 
He barely heard a word Caitlyn had said, he just watched you shamelessly. God, he missed that perfect, little body of yours. Seeing as Caitlyn was facing the mirror while she talked to him, she could see your reflection and obviously, what Harry was staring at. She loved you and Harry together, but the logistics were kind of fucked and you were stretching yourselves so thin, it was unhealthy. You hadn’t ended things because you weren’t in love; in fact, you were so in love that you couldn’t do that to each other anymore. You had tried to wait it out, but it was exhausting you two to degrees that just was a bit irresponsible for some of the biggest stars on the planet, so you went your own ways.
“She’s happy, you know?” Caitlyn said quietly and Harry’s eyes flickered away from you to hers. He sighed and nodded.
“I know.” He said, “With Sebastian?”
“She told you it was him?” Caitlyn asked. Harry had always been a little wary around Sebastian because it was fairly obvious to him that he had a thing for you. He never tried anything and was always respectful, but just that jealousy he felt over you was palpable. And it would make Harry be on high alert when you guys was around him.
“No. I had to…fucking look it up.” He admitted with slight irritation. Caitlyn snorted quietly on a laugh causing him to shoot her a glare. “Shut up.” He mumbled with a bashful smile as he smacked her with his towel on the leg.
“Ew! Unsanitary!” She scoffed through her sniggers.
“Fuck you, I haven’t even used it yet.” He chuckled. When their little fit died down she got serious again.
“You seem happy too.” 
“I…I am.” He nodded once, “But it’s her. She’s…” he trailed off as he glanced at you again, “She was it for me, you know?” He said with some sadness. “I don’t know…I just…wasn’t prepared to see her yet.” 
“That’s what she said too. Maybe it’ll always be that way? Like you guys had something extraordinary. It was special, some real soul mate shit, you know? Of course it’s going to be hard to get over. I literally thought that was all BS until I saw how you guys were together.” She said and he smiled.
“Yeah.” He agreed.
“What do you want?”
“To just be around her.” He said and she hummed.
“Then be friends.” Caitlyn suggested and he immediately shook his head.
“I couldn’t…like I’m happy for her, but I don’t want to see it in my face. And I’m sure she feels the same about that. Seeing each other have everything we had and more? No way.”
“Then…I don’t know, Harry.”
“Can you just ask her i-if we could grab a coffee or talk or something?”
“Why don’t you ask her?”
“Because she’ll say no.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I do.” He said, “What if she thinks I’m just trying to…to make her doubt or something?”
“She knows you’d never hurt her and you know she’d never hurt you.”
“I know, but what if…”
“What if you guys do something stupid like cheat?” Caitlin asked bluntly and he nodded. “Well then that’s up to you guys.” she said simply, “I did tell her it was probably good that she couldn’t have dinner with you the other night…I could see something happen during a moment of weakness. All that attraction and love you guys still have for each other…I mean, I can’t see either of you walking away without someone getting hurt if you’re not overly cautious. Maybe it’s a temptation or maybe it’s what needs to happen to open that door again…I don’t know, H. But if you do want to see her again just be careful with your hearts and those of the others you’re involved with now.” She admonished and he nodded.
“You’re right.” He said and glanced down at his knees instead of at you. “I don’t want to fuck anything up for her.”
“And what about you?”
“I’m already fucked.” He chuckled breathily with sadness in his eyes.
************
When their session was over you all said their goodbyes. Harry headed back into the locker rooms to have a shower though, so he didn’t walk out with you three. You had gone to have some breakfast at Melissa’s house and were in the middle of eating when your phone pinged. When you picked it up from the table you saw “Harry” on the text notification and you locked it and set it down with a pounding heart. Caitlyn looked to you with a knowing glance and you sighed and went back to your food. Melissa was cool, she was an influencer who was dabbling in TV, which is how she met Caitlyn. But you weren’t really personal friends with her yet so you didn’t feel like bringing Harry up right now. You could talk to Caitlyn about it on your way home.
As soon as you were in the car you looked at his text and smiled at the screen. Harry was sweet, a bit of an over-thinker, but you loved that about him. He was thoughtful of how he wanted to be perceived and how he came across.
“Did he ask to see you?” Caitlyn asked and you nodded and locked your phone before taking off. You sat in silence for just a few minutes before Caitlyn turned to you. “So what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know.” You confessed. “If I see him…alone…” you sighed, “s’just that after seeing him I realized I still feel too much for him.” You explained. “I don’t want to fuck things up with Seb or hurt him in any way.  Like you know that I care about him. So much. But this is Harry, you know? Do you think Seb’ll understand if I want to meet up with Harry?” You asked and Caitlyn sighed.
“Girl, I don’t know…but after speaking a bit with Harry I don’t know if it’s a good idea.” She said and you frowned.
“What did he say?” You couldn’t help but ask.
“He’s just…hanging on by a thread I think.” She said and you frowned. “Like you’re both in relationships, good ones, that seem to make you guys happy. And I mean…you guys are each other’s weakness, you know? And I care about you both so much and I don’t want you to accidentally do something that you’ll regret and hate yourselves for. Like I get it, you miss each other, but would tempting fate fix things or make them worse?” She asked and you sighed.
“You’re right. You’re so right.” You agreed.
“He knows you’re with Sebastian.” Caitlyn said and you turned to her for a moment with confusion.
“How?”
“He was looking you up online or something is what he said.” Upon hearing that you giggled and Caitlyn started to chuckle as well. Before you knew it, you were both laughing hard at how crazy that was. Him scouring the internet to find information about you? “If Harry internet lurks you can too. You’re missing out…” Caitlyn said after your laughing spell had died down.
“Yeah, no thanks. I have some dignity.” You grinned and Caitlyn rolled her eyes. 
**************
Harry waited and waited. And waited well into the night for Y/N to respond to his text. He had no idea if you’d even read it. Maybe you had changed your number and he’d texted someone else by mistake. He was getting antsy, he was only in town for four more days. So he did a double text, just to verify that it was still your number and when no response came after another 10 minutes he just settled against his pillows and pulled out the book he had brought along with him. He wasn’t even hungry anymore after that disappointment.
**************
Sebastian had come over to your house for dinner at the last minute and now you were just washing up your dishes from that when he came into the kitchen glowering at you.
“What the matter?” You asked with some concern and he brought your phone up to your face so that you could see what had him so upset. You pouted a bit when you read Harry’s second text, he was just asking if it was still your number. You felt bad for leaving him on read now.
“You saw him again today and he asked you out again?” Sebastian asked with irritation. He had every right to be irritated without context, but the explanation would easily appease his anger.
“I didn’t plan to see him. Me and the girls were at pilates and he showed up at that studio. I have no control over where he goes! What was I supposed to do? Leave?” You asked him and he sighed, “The trainer had him come work out in the studio with us because people were flocking him. But when he came over I even left to do strength training instead. Ask Caitlyn! I didn’t even talk to him!” You said quickly as he searched your eyes. The fear and panic in them made him doubt you. “He just wants to catch up.” You said as he set your phone down on the counter with a sigh.
“I want to believe you but-”
“Then believe me, Sebastian!” You said with exasperation as you shut the water off and took off the rubber gloves you were wearing. “The evidence is there on my phone. I haven’t even answered him!” You pointed out and he sighed.
“Why is he so determined of doing this? Doesn’t he have a girlfriend to hang out with?” 
“It’s just…a lot seeing each other after so long. He probably just wants to reconnect and be friends? Maybe if I just talk to him-”
“I don’t want you talking to him, Y/N.” Sebastian said and you frowned. “I don’t trust him and I don’t like how pushy he’s being about this.”
“He’s not being pushy…” you sighed.
“He is! You left him on read and he doesn’t take the fucking hint.” Sebastian argued.
“Well maybe if I just respond and explain that you’re not comfortable with us meeting up alone then he’ll-”
“Oh, don’t put this on me.” Sebastian cut you off.
“Well you’re the one who’s upset over this, Seb. I honestly wasn’t even going to respond to him!”
“If you’re not going to respond just delete the message and block the number.” He insisted, handing your phone over. You frowned as you glanced down at it in your hands and then up at him.
“No, Seb. I’m not blocking him for no real reason!” You pushed back.
“Your boyfriend being upset over it is a real reason, Y/N. He wants you back! Why can’t you see that?” He groaned in frustration.
“No, he doesn’t. He just wants to talk and catch up!” You countered.
“Well I don’t care what he wants, Y/N. I don’t want you to see him. I forbid it!” He put his foot down and you scoffed. 
“You forbid it? What the fuck? Who are you to tell me who I can and can’t see in my free time, Seb? I think I’ve respected you and our relationship by leaving it and not answering him. I even told you when I first saw him-”
“Only because I asked! And now again, you see him and don’t say anything about it until I see these texts!”
“One sided texts!” You added and he shook his head.
“I waited my turn and I chose to be with you, Y/N. And right now you need to choose me back.” He said and you sighed as you started growing anxious and frustrated.
“I’m with you, Seb! I already chose you! There’s nothing for me to choose right now! You’re the one putting Harry in the middle of us right now.” You argued.
“You’re honestly telling me that if he says he wants you back you wouldn’t hesitate to choose me over him? You’d just tell him to fuck off?” He asked and you frowned.
“That’s… that’s a silly thing to think. Why are you even arguing hypotheticals, Seb? This will get us nowhere-”
“Tell me, now. Who would you choose, Y/N?” He insisted more seriously and you shook your head.
“I’m not playing this stupid game with you, Seb.” You said as you crossed your arms. Holding your position.
“You refusing to make a choice over this speaks fucking volumes, Y/N.” He said with disappointment before he stormed out of the kitchen. You took a second to let your mind try and catch up with how all of this went south so quickly. Once you were up to speed you hurried over to the front door where he was sliding his feet into his shoes.
“Where are you going?” You asked him with welled up eyes and he refused to answer you. “Sebastian!” You raised your voice.
“I’m done.” He seethed, finally responding to you, “I’m done playing second fiddle to him, Y/N.” He said pointedly before leaving your place with a loud thud of the door slamming. 
You groaned into your hands and your tears started rolling down your cheeks. You were so fucking angry at him and at Harry…it was making you boil over as you returnedd to the kitchen and grabbed your phone and called him. He didn’t pick up, you tried again after a few moments and it went straight to voicemail. You were so angry at him you almost threw your phone at the wall. But before you could, you decided to make another call, this one to Harry.
“Y/N?” He answered almost right away and before you could berate him for his texts you started to sniffle, “Hey? What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” He asked softly. His voice was drenched with concern.
“Seb saw your texts and I think he just broke up with me.” You whimpered as more tears started to fall. You started to sob a bit harder and just dropped yourself on the couch. Harry felt awful…he hadn’t meant to stir up trouble for you, he just missed you.
“I’m so sorry. I don’t think I said anything bad or suspicious.” He apologized.
“You didn’t. He just thinks you’re…trying to get me back. He asked me to block you and I said no because that’s stupid. We’re fucking grown ups, you know?”
“Yeah.” He hummed as he listened.
“And he…he asked me if you wanted to get back together with me, if I would I choose him over you.” You said and he bit his lip.
“What’d you say?”
“I didn’t say anything! I told him he was being ridiculous for bring up hypotheticals like that. Like what would we gain from that, you know? And he got more angry and said that not choosing was basically choosing…”
“I see how he came to that conclusion. I mean…it makes it seem like…he wouldn’t like the choice you’d make.” He explained.
“Well it’s not like that! I just…I don’t know, Harry.” You said before gasping for air as you started to cry harder. Harry wished he could be there to hold you and tell you everything would be fine. He’d just let you get it out for a little bit.
“I’m really sorry for stirring up trouble for you, love.” Harry apologized with full sincerity. 
“It’s alright.” You whispered as your crying diminished.
“It’s not…I should’ve taken the fucking hint. I just miss you and want to spend time with you before I go. I was upset that you didn’t answer me after this morning. I should’ve just left it alone and-”
“I miss you too, H.” You cut him off. You sniffled as you just stared up at the ceiling. “Fucking ridiculous amounts.” You added and he smiled.
“Me too.” He agreed.
“I’m sorry for not responding to you. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. S’just that after talking to Caitlyn about it I just got a little…scared I guess. Like…what if we like have a moment of weakness and do something fucked up and-”
“Love, no.” he responded even if he had the same fear as her.
“Is is that crazy to think about? We obviously still share a lot of feelings for each other and I would hate to…to mess anything up for you if I…if I’m not strong enough.” You explained.
“If anyone’s not strong enough here it’s me.” He said and you smiled, “God…like…I don’t know if wanting to see you is wrong or not and I don’t care. All I know is that you mean a lot to me and I’ve missed you.”
“Enough to lurk me on the internet?” You asked with a smile and he sighed.
“Fucking Caitlyn…” he chuckled and you laughed. “So pathetic.” Muttered lowly.
“S’not…” you appeased him.
“So you’ve done it too?” He asked hopefully.
“No way.” You said quickly and he chuckled, “It’s not because I’m not curious I just…I don’t want t-to see you with her.” You admitted and a silence came over you two for several moments as the information settled. “And well, it’s not even about her really, it’s just…you I guess.” You confessed, “It’s such an ugly feeling.” You explained with a frown, “It makes my stomach hurt and it makes me annoyed and my chest feels heavy and like-”
“You get jealous.” He said and you sighed. You’d never been of the jealous kind. Specially not with Harry, you knew that even God would have to kill one of you to keep you apart. There was no chance of straying from each other. So this feeling festering inside of you was absolutely foreign to you and you never wanted it again. You’d seen a photo of them briefly on some gossip website when a friend had sent a link about some crazy rumor they’d written about you. It was a suggestion for another article read at the bottom of the article about you. The photo above the title was of them two, you only saw it quickly before you closed out of the tab, never wanting to see it again. But god, it was truly such an ugly feeling. You literally felt it growing out of your heart and infecting your…you’d been moody the rest of that day; it was awful.
“Yeah, I guess I do…feel jealous.” You admitted and he bit his lip for a second.
“While I was lurking instagram the other day? I saw a video of you and Sebastian kissing at some concert of his. At the side of the stage?” He said.
“Yeah?” You asked and he sighed.
“Yep. I-it made me so…mad. Like a helpless kind of mad. And then sad.” He said and you frowned, “It made me sad because we didn’t have that. I hate that I kept you so hidden…I should’ve been less afraid of the public, of the fans, of all the external bullshit that fucks with my head. I wish people could’ve see how happy we were. Wish they could’ve see how much we love each other.” He said and you felt your stomach flip when he said that. He didn’t say “how much we loved each other”, he said “love”, present tense, as in right now. It felt good to hear but it also scared you because you realized that you too were hanging on by a thread.
“You know, I kinda love that it’s just between us. Like back then it was tough to hide like that, but now I appreciate it more. I felt…safe and protected and normal when we were together, you know?”
“Yeah, that’s true.” He hummed. “Do you ever think about us?” He asked meekly.
“Of course I do. A lot of the time…” you said with a smile. “Like early last year, Seb opened for someone at the Forum and he like…fell in love with it.”
“Rightfully so, s’the perfect venue.” He said and you hummed.
“Literally. So he bought us club passes and we went to see John Mayer like a few months later and we had the same exact seats that we had for Elton John. Remember?”
“Oh, god…do I…” he laughed and you started to laugh as well. “And Jeffrey had to get them to delete the video of us sneaking into the family bathroom, remember?” He started chuckling.
“Oh, I remember.” You giggled. 
“At least we was fast…”
“We weren’t. We were in there for almost half an hour.” You pointed out.
“Were we?” He asked in shock and you laughed.
“Yeah! You said you wanted to to enjoy it or something like that. And when I said we should go home then you said-”
“And miss Elton John?” He cut her off and you laughed as you nodded.
“Literally, you paused, mid-fuck. Like mid thrust, Harry.” You cackled as he laughed loudly over the line, “As if we weren’t already missing the best bits anyway…” you said and he smiled as the laughter died down. “I’d never done anything in public like that before.” You said, “You tainted me.” You joked.
“Yeah, you tell yourself that. Whatever helps you sleep at night, love.” He chuckled and bit his lip as he recalled how you were biting down on his shirt to contain your sounds. He had no idea what had gotten into him that night, all he recalls is the you were wearing this perfume that was so intoxicating, he just wanted to be buried against your neck. Kissing you, inhaling that sweet and warm scent that made his head spin. He was touching you in some way the whole fucking time until he sneakily brought his fingers up your skirt and touched you over her underwear slowly until you were drenched for him. He shifted a bit when he felt his cock hardening up in his sweats at the memory of what happened afterwards in that bathroom.
“OK, thanks…just a funny little story to lighten up the mood.” You said and he hummed.
“I want to see you.” He said decidedly and you bit your lip.
“I don’t know if we should, H.”
“Right now. Just FaceTime.” He said and you shot up.
“Harry, no…I’m all snotty and shit-”
“Well if we’re not going to see each other in person before I go at least like this. Please, love.” He said and you sighed as you wiped your eyes a bit before the request to FaceTime came in and you accepted and seconds later there you were. Face to face. You stayed quiet for a few moments, just looking at each other, the air was tense with all of the thoughts and feeling being left unsaid.
“I do want to see you.” You said, finally breaking the silence and he hummed. He was in bed, his free arm was pulled back, supporting his head and he was clearly topless from what you could see. 
“Yeah?” He smiled.
“Of course. I just…feel like it’s asking for trouble.”
“Why?” He chuckled.
“Because! I mean, look at you just now.” You said with a giggle and he glanced down a bit and smirked.
“How do you think I felt today at the gym?”
“I was working out!”
“And I’m just laying in bed.” He responded simply. 
“This is bad, H.”
“What is?” He chuckled.
“The way I’m…looking at you and thinking about you.” You said softly.
“And what way is that?” He asked and you shook her head bashfully as he smiled a bit, “It’s not like I’m not thinking the same things about you…” He responded and you bit your lip nervously. “Earlier today I was remembering how I found your birthmark.” He said with a placid smile.
“Didn’t even know it was there…”
“You’re welcome by the way.” He hummed and you rolled her eyes at him playfully. “When did you move out of your flat?” He asked changing the subject. He just assumed as he didn’t recognize your surroundings.
“Last year. Finally could afford a house. S’small for the area, three bedrooms. Very English cottage/craftsman style, original architecture. Obviously, the inside is renovated, but the external structure is in great shape.” You described and he smiled. “It reminded me of the houses in the country we saw when we visited your family together up north? The ones with the brick exteriors.” You said and he nodded and smiled, “It has a lovely front garden…there are tons of windows so the sun shines in nearly all afternoon. And the garage was turned into like a studio apartment and I’m planning to renovate it into a little music studio once I save up enough.”
“That sounds really nice. So where are you at now?” He asked.
“West Hollywood west.” You said and his eyes widened.
“No way. Dude, I am like down the street from you right now.” He chuckled and you smiled.
“Oh! Really?”
“Yeah. I couldn’t extend my stay at the Roosevelt so Jeffrey moved me to the SLS on La Cienega.” He explained, “I could literally jog to you if I wanted.” He chuckled and you smiled and bit your lip for a moment. It was already dark out…so no one would see him…
“Would you really?” You asked and he nodded.
“Yeah, of course! Had to skip my cool down cardio today because there were too many people at the gym.” He said and you thought about it for a moment. 
Harry was ready to jump out of bed and throw some clothes on and run out if you said he could. He just wanted to be around you again. Even talking like this was nice, just getting to see your expressions and watch you form your thoughts and listen to him.
“Maybe you running over here is not a great idea…” you said when you heard a police siren down the street. He tried to mask his disappointment at this but nodded, “I could pick you up?” You suggested instead.
“Uh yeah, that’s cool too.”
“Do you have any plans tomorrow?”
“No, just work out and hanging out in the area.”
“OK, so no strict curfew.” You smiled and he shook his head.
“Nope.”
  “Ok. Ummm, I’m gonna try to call Seb again and let him know.”
“Does he stay with you?” Harry asked.
“No, he actually lives in Pasadena.”
“Ooh…” Harry exclaimed with a scrunch in his face, “That’s a commute just because of the traffic.”
“I know. It’s not really that far, but man he has to take all the shitty freeways.” You said, “I think he probably went home after we argued. But I just want to let him know that I’m having you over just to avoid any issues.” You explained and he nodded. He loved that about you, you’d always been really considerate like that and it made him smile that you were still that way.
“Oh yeah, of course. I should probably do the same.” He said and you smiled.
“OK. I’ll text you my ETA when I’m heading out.”
“Sounds good.” He nodded and then you hung up.
You tried calling Sebastian a couple times before giving up and going to finish the dishes you had started on, maybe he’d call back. You finished up and still no response from Seb. Then you packed up the leftovers and still he had not called you back. You sighed and just called again, killing a bit of time by going around the house, lighting some of the candles you had out. But as it rang out to his voicemail once again you decided to just leave a message.
“Hey babe.” You started out, “I just wanted to say I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings earlier. It’s just that…Harry is really important to me and I miss him, OK? I miss getting to be his friend and he just wants to reconnect a bit, OK? His hotel is like 2 miles away from the house and he’s going to come here for a bit. I’m not sure if you’re on the road home or just went out somewhere nearby, so I’m just letting you know in case you want to come by whenever. I love you, Seb. Bye.” You finished and then hung up. You then texted Caitlyn just to let her know what happened and assured her you’d call the following day to catch her up on everything. By that time it had been about 20 minutes and you texted Harry to let him know you were on your way.
Harry was relieved to hear back from you with your ETA. After it took more than five minutes for you to get back to him he decided to have a quick shower so that he wouldn’t have to do it if he got back too late. He was so nervous, he felt like his heart would beat out of his chest at getting to be with you again. And when it got to two minutes of you arriving he made his way down to the lobby. He was quick as he scurried out and just as he was walking past the valet you pulled up to the curb.
“Uber for Garry?” You called out the passenger window with a playful grin and he laughed as he opened up the door and settled in.
“Hi.” He greeted you, his smile wide.
“Hi.” You responded and then you bit your lip to avoid smiling like Demi Lovato in Camp Rock. You were far too happy, you just needed a second to gather yourself. You were just taking each other in for a moment before someone honked at you and you jumped as the harsh sound startled you both. “Jesus…Sorry.” You mumbled before you started peeling away from the pick up area. Harry was chuckling beside you and you just rolled your eyes at him as he poked a bit of fun.
“How’d it go with Seb.” He asked, changing the subject.
“It didn’t…that’s why I took so long. Tried him a bunch of times while I finished cleaning up after dinner. Gave him a bit to call back and he didn’t so I left him a message. I did tell him that he could drop by whenever just to…see for himself that it’s fine.”
“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”
“Yeah…I just don’t get where all this suddenly came from. Like, I’ve been straight up about everything since I saw you last week and he was fine about it.”
“Maybe he’s just jealous.”
“Well yeah, but that doesn’t mean he has to distrust me.” You said and he nodded.
“That’s true. Well look, let’s not worry about it now. We can have a nice time and catch up…” He smiled and you nodded.
“Have you eaten dinner?”
“Nope.”
“Should I stop somewhere? Or there’s food at the house if you want that.” You said and he nodded.
“Yeah, that’s alright.” He smiled and you nodded. “Do you still cook a lot?” He asked and you smiled and nodded.
“Oh yeah, avidly. The kitchen continues to be my happy place.” You confirmed. “Caitlyn is on this vegan kick until next Thanksgiving, so I’ve been trying out a bunch of new stuff that she’s recommended I learn to cook for her.” you explained with a smile, “Seb is losing his mind about it though, all he eats is brown rice, chicken, and fish.” You explained, “Tonight I made like a veggie stir fry type of thing? With zucchinis and other types of squash, carrots, mushrooms, bell peppers, and some beyond ground beef.…”
“That sounds excellent.” he said and you smiled.
“I thought so too! Never thought I’d have to persuade a grown man into eating that many vegetables.” You said of Seb and Harry chuckled.
“I don’t even want to know what that means…” he mumbled jokingly as he glanced out the window and you laughed. 
“Not like that…” you giggled.
“Sure…sure.” Harry hummed as he side eyed you, who just shook you head in response. “Well you don’t have to persuade me. Though I’m not sure if I should just have you persuade me depending on what you’re persuading people with.” He teased and you rolled your eyes.
“I promised to make his favorite meal next time. That was the persuasion.” You clarified and he chuckled.
“I mean, I’ll still take that…do you even remember-”
“Of course! Branzino al Limone. How could I forget?” You asked with a smile as you glanced to him briefly, and he grinned in satisfaction. “Perfected the recipe last time I went to Italy actually.” 
“Why? For me?” He asked smugly.
“Ummm, because it’s good?! Also it was one of the dishes in the cooking course I completed there.” You said and he chuckled.
“Well that’s good.” 
“Yeah.” You smiled. 
You and Harry bonded a lot over food, it was basically one of your biggest love languages in your relationship. You loved learning together and you taught him a lot of the things he now knew. You wanted to ask if he cooked for his girlfriend…he probably did, it was part of his charm, part of the wooing process. He invited his love interest over to his and made you his perfected risotto al pomodoro and then had the other person involved in helping with dessert and while that went in the oven you’d kill some time by…well, you reckoned anyone would know what you filled that time with. It was basically straight out of a romcom. He even did it for you when you started dating. But you were much younger then so it was all the more impressive that a man pulled out all the stops like that.
You then wondered if she cooked for him as well. Did she do things better than you or was he left wanting just a bit more, forced to remember you every time she took a stab at his favorites? Or did they even do that for each other in this relationship? You wanted to know about it, but at the same time you knew that any knowledge of how his relationship worked with someone else wouldn’t really benefit you in any way. As long as he was happy, that was all you needed to know.
“Hey, what’s the matter?” He suddenly asked when you grew quiet.
“Nothing, just ummm, just thinking.” You said as you glanced at him quickly, “We’re nearly there.” You said and he nodded as you turned down to a residential street. The houses there looked to be of an older build, but they were still very beautiful. There was the odd bright white millennial cement block people were obsessed with currently, but other than that, the neighborhood you were in seemed to embrace the older LA architecture for the most part. “S’that one there in the corner.” You pointed to your right and he smiled as he saw your little corner house.
“God it even looks like England…so much green!” He chuckled happily as he glanced at you briefly before looking back as you got closer. 
Yeah, whoever lived there before her absolutely covered the property in plants. The entire front of the property was lined with a hedge that he assumed was his shoulder height or so. And then running diagonally through the front lawn was a little path of steps to get up to the front door, it was lined at each side by some of those little stake lights and blocked off by a little iron gate. You had some free driveway for guests and then another gate to close off the access to the backyard.
“Let me open up the gate,” you said as you unbuckled your seatbelt, “My control is out of batteries and then I bought the wrong-”
“I got it. I want to snoop your lawn.” He said as he unfastened his own seatbelt and you smiled.
“Yeah sure. The gate code’s-”
“Your birthday?” He asked with a knowing smile and you chuckled, “Still your birthday?!” He asked teasingly and you shrugged. “Oh, I’ve missed you…” he hummed quietly, smiling to himself now as he hopped out of the car and walked over to the little keypad at the far end of the gate. “Six digit and pound I assume?” He called out in question.
“Yes!” You shouted and he gave you a thumbs up before entering the numbers. Just a second later the wooden gate started to open inward, allowing you to drive in and he allowed himself to then wander down to the sidewalk where he unlatched the gate to get up to the front door.
It was so pretty out there. There was a a flower garden against the gate on the right side  and thanks to the LA weather they were still in bloom. He could even smell some of the lavender planted there. He followed the path up to the well lit front door and smiled as he saw the beautiful deep teal colored door. There was a big window to some room in the home, possibly the living room, though he couldn’t really make out what it was to because of the thin curtain over it so he just focused back on the door. He just couldn’t get over the color. Then at the foot of the door he spotted a welcome mat reading “Sup. I’m mat.” And Harry immediately burst into laughter and glanced around again to see some wind chimes dangling off of the corner of the drop off of the roof. The grass was well kept and there seemed to be plenty of space to sit out here if you wanted to in the evenings when it cooled down…
“What’s so funny?” You suddenly asked and he turned around to see you coming up the steps.
“Mat.” He said pointing to the welcome mat and you giggled.
“Oh right…$10 if you guess who got me that as a housewarming gift…” you said and he chuckled.
“Oh Caitlyn…I’ve missed her too.” He said and you sniggered. “I really like the color of your door.” He complimented.
“Thank you.” You smiled.
“And the yard is so nice and lush. Love the hedges.”
“Yeah? I’m thinking of getting rid of the hedges.” You shared.
“Oh really?”
“Yeah. Like I like them for privacy but it just seems so closed off to me.”
“I can see that…What does Sebastian think?”
“Who cares? He doesn’t live here.” You sniggered and he chuckled and nodded.
“Well personally, I’d keep ‘em. You’re so close to Sunset that when people find out this is your home there are bound to be TMZ tour busses rolling to a stop every hour and a half.” He said and you sighed as you realized her was right, “Besides, it just kinda feels like your own little world with them, you know? Almost like secret garden type vibes.” He said as he looked around the area again and you smiled.
“Well thank you for your input, I will consider it.” You assured and he smiled, “Alright, lets get inside.” You said and keyed your way in. You had one of those keypad doors as well because losing keys was your hidden talent.
“Oh wow, this is so nice!” Harry complimented as he looked around inside.
“Thank you.” You smiled as you slipped out of her shoes and he did the same. “Want a tour?”
“Yeah!” He agreed eagerly. 
With that confirmation you first guided him down the hallway towards the master bedroom and let him wander around in there for a bit. It had a door to the backyard as well so he looked out there and let her talk about her plans for her little studio before you wandered into the bathroom and closet. He was obsessed with her shower and even snapped some pictures to see if he could do something like that at his place. Then you went to the guest bedrooms to look around in there, and then you stopped in the living room on their way to the kitchen.
“Hey! That’s mine! I think…” He smiled brightly and pointed at a painting of an array of colorful, small and silly, misshapen faces. He walked up to the wall in the living room with tons of art hung on it and studied that one.
“Oh yeah, it is one of yours.” You smiled, “I found it when I was cleaning out my storage unit!”
“God, I was so fucking high when I painted that…” he recalled and chuckled as he shook his head.
“Were you?” You chuckled and he nodded, glancing back at you for a moment before he looked back to the painting.
“Can’t believe I even gave it to you. It was a secret Santa gift, wasn’t it?” He asked as he turned back towards you, fully this time and you nodded with a smile in response to his question. “It’s pretty cool. M’glad you kept it.” He said more softly.
“Of course I did. I love it. It really catches the eye. S’the one people ask about the most actually. Especially when they see the signature.” You said and he chuckled.
“You’ve got a lot of cool pieces.” He added.
“Thank you.”
“Can’t believe we never even went to a museum together.” he said as he turned back to the wall. “Such a shame…”
“Hey, maybe one day.” You said and he smiled as he turned back to you, “Alright, lets get you fed.” You said.
“Yes, please!” He concurred and followed you through to the kitchen. 
You fixed him a plate and told him to feel free to keep looking around the house while it warmed up. You checked your phone again and Seb had not even sent a text in response yet. You were getting worried now, maybe he was serious when he said he was done. You still didn’t think you’d done anything horribly wrong, he had been quite demanding and unreasonable in your opinion. 
When Harry came back into the kitchen to find you staring at your phone he frowned.
“Hey, everything alright?” His presence startled you a bit, but you nodded quickly.
“Yeah.” You assured and he looked at you skeptically, “I swear. I was just checking to see if Seb got back to me yet.”
“He hasn’t?” He asked and you shook your head as you set your phone down and turned to the microwave to grab his plate. When you turned back he sighed, “I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault, Har.”
“But it is…if I hadn’t insisted t-to have some time with you then maybe-”
“I wanted to have time with you too.” You reminded and slid the plate over to him across the counter and he settled into one of the stools along the island. You then turned around to grab him a fork. Once he had it in his hand he quickly started eating.
“This is delicious.” He moaned with a partially full mouth, “Missed how you cook.” He tagged on happily and you smiled.
“Glad you like it.” You hummed and then started to pack the leftovers back up again. “Do you want some wine or water? I also have Cutwaters, which are quite traumatizing but-”
“Are you gonna have that?” He asked.
“I will if you will.” You said and he chuckled.
“Yeah, alright. What flavor?”
“S’the Long Island ones.” You said with a slight grimace and he mirrored your expression.
“Do you have a death wish?” He asked and you sniggered.
“There were gifted to me with a PR package, OK? Didn’t just want to throw ‘em out.”
“God…just one though, those are alarmingly strong.” He reminded.
“Oh, I know…I hardly even drink anymore apart from the occasional glass of wine. I might only have a cocktail, two max, at events but it’s pretty rare now. So one will definitely do it for me.” You chuckled and he did as well as you turned back to the fridge to open up the box. You came around to the stools and set the cans down and then sat in the spot beside him. “So what did you girlfriend say?” You asked against your better judgment but you had to know.
“About?” He asked, glancing to you before taking another bite of food.
“Us. Hanging out tonight.” You clarified and he hummed.
“Oh! I ummm, I just decided not to mention it to her.” He confessed a bit shamefully, “I was going to but I’m not sure of what her reaction would be and that scared me a bit. And either way, I would’ve come seen you regardless of her opinion about it, so if she’d gotten angry well, I didn’t want to lie and pretend I wasn’t gonna see you on top of making her angry…” he rationalized his decision and then went back for another bite of food.
“A lie of omission is still a lie…” you hummed and he shrugged.
“Damned if I do, damned if I don’t.” He mumbled and you sighed and nodded. “I-is that bad?” He asked.
“What?” You asked.
“That I don’t care what she’d think of us reconnecting.” He said and you sighed.
“I think, in a black and white world the answer is yes, but it’s not. And more than that, I mean, it’s us. It feels wrong to be strangers.” You said and he nodded. “But I mean, in a way it’s good that she’s new in your life because she doesn’t really know how we were together, you know? So she has nothing to worry about. Not that there is anything to worry about at the moment, but if she’s on the insecure side then it could cause her some concern.”
“Like Seb.” He said. Not meaning to, but instinctually having to point it out.
“Yeah, I guess so…” you sighed.
“Maybe he does have something to worry about?” Harry said and you turned to him with a furrow in your brows and then his arched up, “Not with me! Sorry that came out wrong, forget I said anything. Sorry.” He rushed out and took another bite of food.
“If not about you then what?” You asked him as he chewed and he shook his head.
“Just forget it. I misspoke.” He mumbled after swallowing it down.
“H, don’t- don’t do that to me.” You said lowly as you looked into his eyes and he sighed.
“I just…just don’t take what I say to heart, OK? I should’ve just kept my mouth shut.” He prefaced and you nodded, “S’just something a friend told me about their overly jealous and insecure partner that came to mind. She said that often times those people are so worried about what their partners are doing as a form of…projection.” He said and your eyes softened and you looked down at the counter as the implication of what he was saying weighed on you. “Those kinds of people are often paranoid about their own hidden secrets or agendas being uncovered that they try and-” he stopped when he saw you pick up your can and chug it down for a few seconds before setting it down.
Your chest was rising and falling hard as you caught your breath. You weren’t sure if your throat was stinging from the overload of carbonation you’d just gulped down or from fighting off the knot seeking to lodge itself in it. You hadn’t considered that before. Maybe you were naive, but you always trusted that your partners had your best interest at heart. Though you had been cheated on twice by the same person in the past, this was right before you met Harry. And well, things with Harry had been so great that you were largely able to overcome your trust issues over the course of your relationship with him. You healed from it, but now it seemed like it was maybe a thing again.
“Hey,” Harry spoke softly and grabbed your hand and you turned to him, “I know Seb, he wouldn’t do that to you.” He said with certainty, “He was in love with you for five years, maybe more, and never did a thing about it but wait his turn.” He said and you blinked a few times and nodded, “I’m telling you, it just came to mind but I shouldn’t have said anything. It doesn’t- it’s not the same situation.” He emphasized.
“Maybe we’re wrong for this. Maybe we just need t-to let it go. The past is the past, there’s no need to stir up trouble in our present lives over something that clearly wasn’t…wasn’t meant to be.” You said quietly instead and he frowned.
“You can’t believe we weren’t meant to be, Y/N. Of course we were.” He insisted with conviction.
“Then why did we give up?”
“Bad timing.” He said simply.
“Well aren’t you happy right now? As things are.”
“Sure.” He said, “A-are you?”
“I am…I mean, I know I could be happier, but I’m getting there. And it’s not because of you or anything like that, it’s just that Seb and I are still a bit new. And we have a lot more work to do on how our relationship works, clearly.” You said with a smile and he smiled as well and reached for his own drink.
“Wanna talk about it?” He asked and you nodded.
“Desperately.” You said and he smiled.
“Yeah, we can talk about it then.” He assured.
“OK, you finish up here. I’m going to get my makeup off and out of these clothes.”
“Yeah love, take your time.” He assured and you smiled and hurried off. 
Harry finished eating in silence, debating on whether he should tell Tay about coming over to your place or not. Maybe you had a point, she wouldn’t freak out about it like Seb did because she hadn’t seen you guys at your peak. She didn’t know how it had been between you two to be worried about anything happening. And as that thought crossed his mind it then dawned on him that maybe he was also right, about the projecting thing. Maybe he was projecting this feeling of disapproval and rejection from her because he knew he was in the wrong for this. He knew that being here with the person he wholeheartedly believed was his soulmate was such a test…
His own lyrics then came to mind, “my hand’s at risk, I fold”. He’d written that about you all those years ago. He felt then that you’d both put so much into your love, you’d both bet on it with everything you had only for you guys to realize that it wasn’t panning out how you hoped. So you both just pulled out of it before you could get anymore hurt or suffer any more losses. Had folding been a mistake? That was a question that was constantly orbiting in his mind. Had you guys held on a bit longer, would things have suddenly turned around like you’d been betting they would the whole time? Had you guys been too hasty with giving up? That’s what it felt like to him, giving up. He hated giving up. He had felt defeated for so long
and maybe he was here because he was supposed to be. Running into you like he did, talk about the luck of the draw…what were the odds? He dwelled on that thought as he washed his dishes and dried them up. And then he picked up your can of Cutwater to weigh out how much catching up he needed to do and then did just that. He groaned in disgust at the sweet and bitter after taste and then grabbed your can again and made his way to your living room. He set them down on coasters you had at your coffee table and then went to the window to pull the thicker curtains over your window. 
“Hey, can I use the fireplace?” He shouted out and after a few seconds he heard you shout back a yes. So he quickly got a fire going, it was just a comfort thing he supposed. He loved the sound of the crackling firewood and the smell of it burning slowly over the open flame. He got it going and then moments later you came in, your feet in your slippers and your body warmed up in some yoga pants and a crewneck.
“Sorry I took so long.” You apologized.
“S’alright, took the time to clean up after myself and catch up with you.” He said glancing towards your drinks and you smiled and reached for yours, so he grabbed his as well. You tucked one of your legs under you as the other dangled off of the couch. Harry just waited for you to start.
“That’s one of the things I’m struggling with, about Seb.” You started.
“What?” He asked.
“He’s just…a little…helpless. Or lazy, I don’t know which one.”
“Hmmm…”
“Yeah, he didn’t grow up like we did. With everyone pulling their weight, everyone thinking of how what one person does can affect the other. How, you can’t always have it your way, you know?” You explained and Harry nodded. “He’s the youngest of three, has two older sisters, so he never had to lift a finger growing up. His dad’s a pilot and his mom just stayed at home and looked after them. They supported his dreams of being a singer from the get go, like our parents but, they paid for him to come to LA and live here. They had the means so he didn’t struggle at all, his only challenge was just to get a scout’s attention. So fundamentally, we have very different values I think. Especially of what it means to work hard at something. So right now that he’s upset at me, it’s not so much to do with you as it has to do with the fact that he’s not…getting his way.” You explained.
“So he’s a brat?” Harry said with an amused smile.
“Basically…a bit.” You said with a small smile, “And I do love him, but I don’t think it’s…enough to…to make me truly move on like you have.” You explained. He reached for your hand and you squeezed it for a second before letting go.
“Don’t think I’ll ever truly move on from you…” he said, “I’ve been thinking a lot about when we ended things. Like what if we had waited just a little bit more and things had worked out?”
“Would you have…wanted that?”
“Of course.” He said with certainty. “Yeah, I’m happy now, but I’ll always wonder if it’s just another path back to you…I don’t know if that’s…romantic or just plain obsessive.” He chuckled a bit and you smiled.
“Maybe a little bit of both.” You said and he smiled, “I’ve been thinking about how fucking insane it is that we ran into each other at Westlake.” You said and he gasped.
“Me too! Been thinking that since we saw each other.”
“I never go to Westlake if I can help it…like ever. So the odds of me even being there are…astronomical.” You said.
“Really?”
“Oh yeah! Honestly, I’ve delayed recording by a day or two if it’s the only one with open slots.” You giggled with a shake of you head. Maybe it was crazy of you, but you felt like the place was cursed. 
“That drastic!? Why?” He asked, his face scrunched up in a confused smile and your smile faded slowly.
“Ummm…that’s where I was, when you…called.” You said and his eyes softened.
“Oh.” Is all he could say.
“Yep, suite 2.” You said with a small, sad smile, “I feel like the place is cursed.” You told him what you’d always thought.
“And isn’t two the number you dislike the most out of all the even numbers?” He asked and you chuckled.
“Yeah, actually!” You confirmed.
“Don’t you think it’s too big of a coincidence that our paths crossed for the first time in years in the same place we ended our relationship?” He asked.
“Of course, I do.” You sighed and shook your head.
“Do you think it’s…a sign?” He asked and your gaze softened as you looked away.
“D-don’t do that, H.” You said with a frown and he scooted closer.
“Hey, look at me.” He said softly and you glanced up at him, he was just inches from your face. “It’s been you the whole time, you have to know that.” He said softly.
“I feel the same but…but we can’t…” your voice cracked as your eyes welled up.
“Why not?” He asked you, grabbing your face now, “Why can’t we just be together how we’re supposed to?”
“Because at some point we weren’t supposed to. We can’t hurt the people in our lives like that. They don’t deserve that.” You sniffled and he swallowed thickly.
“You’re right. You’re so right.” He sighed. A moment of weakness for him…what was he thinking.
“It doesn’t mean I don’t love you, Harry.” You said and he nodded.
“I know…I just…I can’t believe I said that…so ridiculous.” He sighed, feeling so ashamed for even suggesting it and now you reached for him.
“It’s not, Harry. It’s not like I wasn’t thinking it too.” You said and he squeezed your hand a bit tighter.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, of course. How could I not…” you said and he bit his lip.
“Look, maybe not now but what about a few years from now?” He said and your mouth dropped open a bit.
“What?”
“A few years from now, if we find ourselves alone again we try again.” He said and your lips turned up.
“That’s…that’s wild…”
“This whole thing has been wild! I mean, all of this was just a twist of fate. I can’t let this go to waste without trying. You’re my soul mate, I just know it.” He said and you exhaled shakily, “Tempt fate with me, love. Just one more time.” He appealed and you chuckled.
“OK.” You agreed.
“Yeah?” He asked happily, his heart pounding hard in his chest.
“Yeah.” You whispered. 
Neither of you were really thinking too much about it when his hand came up to your jaw and tilted it upwards and your lips met quickly. When you both realized that you’d kissed you pulled away immediately. Your eyes met as a deafening silence came over the both of you. He hadn’t let you go yet and his eyes drifted down to your lips again, how he had missed the taste of them. The feeling of them against his own. He leaned back in and when your hand hooked around his neck he just smooshed his lips against yours with urgency.
You both sighed in relief at the feeling of kissing like this again. You felt like a wildfire right now, fierce and untamable. When his hands landed on your hips and pulled, you quickly got the hint and climbed into his lap. His strong arms hugged around your waist, making you feel safe and cared for in his arms, like old times. You smiled in satisfaction before his tongue licked at your bottom lip and you opened up easily for him. And when you felt your tongues meeting you moaned and slid your hands up to grab his hair to pull at it like you always would. But you were instead met with the smooth and lightly ticklish surface of his buzzcut and you started to giggle.
“Forgot about that.” You grinned, before pecking his lips lightly and he laughed with you. You pulled back just a bit, your noses skimming as your gazes met. You kissed him quickly again and pulled back before he could deepen the kiss again, leaving him wanting. 
“Baby…” he whined lowly. Leaning in and you turned your head a bit, his kiss landing at the corner of your mouth.
“We should stop before we do something worse.” you whispered and he sighed but nodded.
“You’re right. Sorry.” He whispered and you just smiled and hugged him and he hugged you back. It was just a few moments into your embrace when you guys heard a car lock beeping from outside.
“That’s Seb’s car.” You said, immediately recognizing the sound.
“Shit.” Harry whispered as he let you go and you clambered off of his lap quickly and assumed your previous seat. “Sorry for that. I promise I held off as long as I could.” He apologized and you shook your head.
“It’s alright, I wanted to. Was thinking about it the whole time as well so…” You reassured him as your eyes met and he just smiled at you. Seconds later the lock on the front door chimed, indicating it had been unlocked and then Sebastian appeared, standing at the entrance of the living room to see you and Harry sitting on the couch, a comfortable distance between the two of you.
“Hey.” He greeted you both.
“Hey.”, “Hi, Seb.” You and Harry greeted him.
“Sorry for just leaving like that. I wanted to call you back after hearing your message, but I wanted t’cool off a bit. Went to the bar and I didn’t realize I dropped my phone there. Luckily, someone found it and turned it in. Then I went to Jake’s to track it since he lives close to it and when I went back to get it the screen was all wrecked.” He said holding it up.
“Oh shit! M’sorry.”, “That sucks, mate.” You and Harry said and he chuckled.
“Just bad luck I guess.” He sighed, “So ummm, you guys just catching up?” He asked and you nodded.
“Yeah, Harry’s telling me about performing at Slane Castle.” You said and he nodded.
“Do you mind if I join you guys?” He asked.
“Not at all, mate.” Harry smiled.
“Cool. I’ll get a drink too then.” Seb said with a small smile and you nodded as he headed off to the kitchen.
“Thanks for putting me on the spot.” Harry whispered with a disbelieving grin and you giggled.
“As fate would have it, you had an iconic tour this year, so you can tell the stories…” you smiled.
> Next Part >
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803 notes · View notes
chaoticloving · 9 months
Text
18
harry styles x reader
warnings: mentions of sex
summary: y/n tries to take a pregnancy test without harry finding out, but of course, he does.
a/n: not trying to speak it into existence but lowkey one of my fave tropes is pregnancy scares 😭 i’ve been dying to write this
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Harry was leaving in nine days.
Nine days until her boyfriend leaves for his first world tour. And at this moment, while Harry was out in last minute rehearsal, Y/n was sitting on her bed, looking at the ceiling, wondering why the hell she hasn't had her period yet.
Pregnancy was the first thing that crossed her mind. How could it not be?
A part of her doesn't want to ever take a pregnancy test. She doesn't want it to be real. She can't be pregnant at 18, and she knew Harry shouldn't be a dad at 18 too. So would she even tell Harry is she was pregnant?
She was heavily considering it, accept the fact she's pregnant and not telling the father, who will forever be her love.
Y/n and Harry met in secondary school and the relationship bloomed from there. And when the couple found out that the One direction tour was set in stone, they were scared to be apart from one another, so it was about a month after the announcement that they decided to loose their virginities to each other. Of course before this they had already done some things, they just realized that they wanted to do it, soon, before they were apart for several months.
From there they fucked like rabbits. The love shared between them, along with the knew found pleasure, fueled their excessivness. And, now that Y/n was thinking about it, it is more than likley that Harry forgot a condom some time.
"Fuck." Y/n groaned, turning around on her bed. She looked on her bedside table and saw that she had less than an hour until Harry should be back at the hotel they were sharing in central London.
She got up, grabbed her bag, and sprinted out of the hotel room. When she entered the elevator and the doors closed, the weight of what she was doing finally landed on her.
Would she tell Harry? She couldn't. Harry shouldn't be tied down like this at 18. And his carrer, taking off! He wouldn't even have time to care for a child, not the way a parent should.
A small part of her remembered the pre-x-factor days, where Harry told her he would like to be a dad. He said he wasn't ready yet, then at 16, but he wanted to help create a happy home.
But he's not ready yet, and quite frankly, neither is Y/n.
The doors open and she sprints out the hotel lobby, hood up and sun glasses so no one gets a sneaky picture of Harry Styles rumored girlfriend getting a pregnacy test.
She went to the nearest Tesco, grabbed a congradulations card along with the test just so the cashire wouldnt be as judgy.
In less then twenty mintues, she was sitting on the toilet seat, waiting for the five minutes to be up. She didn't notice the tears forming in her eyes, scared for the future. One without Harry.
"Hey babe!" Harrys voice echoed throughout the hotel room. Y/n jumped up and grabbed her test, putting it in her pocket, and grabbing her phone.
Y/n put on a smile, leaving the bathroom like she was doing the walk of shame. "Hey."
"You alright? You look teary-"
Y/n's alarm went off, making Y/n jump and rushed into her pocket to get her phone out to turn it off, but when she put the phone back in her pocket, the test fell out.
Harry and Y/n just stood there for a couple of seconds looking first at the blue test and then they met each others eyes. Y/n's had tears in them, now trickling down her face; Harry's, though, were confused. His eyebrows were scrunched and anyone could see this mind working to understand what that test is, and what it means.
Y/n raced down to get it, to know what the results were, but Harry's reflexes were quicker. He grabbed the test and saw the little screen.
"What." He paused, taking a deep breath. "What does a minus sign mean?"
Y/n started crying. Not happy tears, but not sad. Harry wrapped his arms around his love.
“Hey, hey it’s okay.” Harry cooed. He tried his best to remain calm, but he saw his life flash before his eyes when he saw that stick—he couldn’t deny that he was feeling uneasy himself. “How long where you thinking that you, we, were—“
His voice trailed off, not sure if he wants to say it.
“I dunno, few days?” She guessed, sniffling a bit and clutching the test that was now in her hands. “I didn’t want to say anything…”
“You should, you always can.” Harry assured. “I mean, I can’t believe you thought you were pregnant and I just left to rehearsal like nothing was the matter!” His raised tone was at himself, angry he didn’t notice something was up.
“Don’t say that.” Y/n sighed.
They were holding each other for a bit which only ment Y/n could think of what happened in the past few minutes.
“H, can I admit something?”
Her voice was soft, more together, but still had a death grip on Harry’s arm.
“Always.”
“If the stick was positive, and I was pregnant.” She paused, not sure if she wanted to tell him. “I couldn’t…make you a father at 18.”
“Love you know I support any of your choices-“
“No, not like that.”Harry gulped, unsure of the next words out of his girlfriends mouth. “I don’t want to hold you back from who you can be. And I think this scare was a wake up call. You need to find out who you are-“
“But I do know.” Harry interrupted. “I love being with you. A baby wouldn’t change that even at 18. If I’m understanding what you’re saying, I’d look for you, and the baby.
“I am not Harry Styles without you.”
“H.” Her voice trailed off and she gave him a quick kiss before tightening their hold on one another. “Even with all it the fame?”
“When I have sold out tours, I’ll always be looking for you in the crowd.”
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erodasfishtacos · 1 year
Text
Safe Space
prompt: follow up to demi piece for mlb!harry
warnings: insecurity, smut, minors dni 18+
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Harry isn’t trying to be dramatic when he says that he is officially and utterly obsessed with everything about YN.
He felt like he was addicted to her, from just being in the same space as her, and then from craving her body so much it hurt.
For a long period of his life, he didn’t understand the hype about sex - sure it sounded fine and orgasms definitely felt good but why did people care so much?
After his first time with YN, he very quickly realized what it was about because fuck, it was beyond the physical feeling of pleasure - it was how connected emotionally he felt to her and the display of love that sex was.
The issue was, they’d been intimate twice now with yesterday being their first time having sex, and both times he came prematurely.
No matter how kind and understanding YN was, it didn’t take away the deep insecurity of not being masculine enough or being a flop in the sheets.
YN had to use her own hand to help her along because he was coming so fast when they had sex, he was so far gone he hadn’t even thought about dipping his own hand down to assist.
Harry had to leave YN in his bed in the morning because he had to go to weight training and then right after a grueling practice.
He had left a little handwritten note on top of her cellphone to find when she woke up.
Good morning, baby. I’m off to practice. I love you x
It was simple but sweet.
When Harry’s in the locker room with his teammates as they all hits the showers and start to change after practice, well it’s no surprise sex is brought up - literally nothing has changed since high school.
He still didn’t feel the need to join in on the disgusting conversation, the way they talked about women was truly abysmal and some of them were referring to their own girlfriends in such crude ways.
Harry had so much respect for YN, so much undying appreciation for her body even though he just is beginning to learn it.
He would never talk about the intricacies of her form with other people, why would he want them to know what is only for him?
He didn’t want others to know how puffy her nipples get after he’s given them attention, how she gets so wet that it makes her folds glisten - that’s purely for his eyes and imagination only.
“Yeah, Becca told me that Cameron only lasted for three minutes,” Joseph cackles as the other boys join in on the laughter, “Said he jizzed nearly as soon as he stuck it in.”
“No wonder she turned him down when he asked her to the Sigma Phi party,” Payton crows with a boisterous laugh, “He’s never gonna get another date while he’s in school.”
Harry hates the anxiety that strikes in his chest because it hits him that they’re making fun of what he’s most self-conscious about right now.
He was new to everything, having YN’s hands, mouth, cunt was so mind blowingly euphoric and like nothing he’d ever experienced before that he couldn’t control how fast his orgasms snuck up on him.
The first time her lips wrapped around him, he couldn’t even think a conducive thought, let alone stave off his release.
The first time they had sex, she had to finish herself off because he came so fast that he didn’t even have time to focus on her.
His throat is tight as he rushes to get his clothes on, he didn’t want to lose YN - she was his person.
They only downfall of finally finding the love of his life was the immense fear of losing it because he knew this was once in a lifetime.
He was this allstar, cocky athlete who everyone drooled and daydreamed over - only YN knew he didn’t truly live up to his potential in the bedroom.
It’s not that he thinks she’s shallow enough to drop him over that but his anxiety and lack of self confidence had negative talk swirling through his head.
Harry wanted to be the best for her and he’s worried that he’s just not enough - it was the worst feeling on this earth and he hated that he didn’t feel confident in his own skin.
He’s out of the locker room without another glance at his teammates, putting his airpods in so he can act like he doesn’t hear all his classmates who try to say hi to him as he walks across campus.
His night class drags on, his fingers are fidgeting against the desk, knee bouncing because anxiety is one of the nastiest emotions to have.
Miss you already ☹️
The text pops across his screen towards the end of class, he has to tamper down the dopey grin that appears on his face - she must have just gotten out of her weekly newspaper meeting.
I miss you more. 😖
You’re the sweetest. Do you love me?
Harry has to bite the corner of his lip to tamper down his smile because he’s in a relationship, he loves her so much.
So much, baby.
I think you should totally invite me over tonight and show me how much. Just so I know you’re not all talk. 😛
Harry’s heart plummets back into his stomach, for what seems like the hundredth time lately because now he’s nervous about having to have sex despite how much he wants to.
Of course, he wants her to come over and he would have invited her in a minute anyways but now that the promise is lingering in her words, he’s struck with nerves.
He doesn’t respond fast enough because another text is coming through as his thumbs hesitate over the screen.
If you’re not up to it, that’s fine too.
And Harry never wants her to feel like he doesn’t want her there. It’s the exact opposite. He wants her there all the fucking time.
Don’t be silly. Of course, you’re welcome over anytime, my love. Meet me at Holden Hall in fifteen, we can walk back to mine together.
Okay ❤️
He’s not twelve, he shouldn’t get butterflies in his stomach but the thought of seeing her makes him squirm with excitement.
Because he is in love.
The class can’t end quick enough because even though there are always a few classmates who want to bullshit with him after class - Harry is bypassing them with a small smile and wave instead to get out the door.
YN is waiting on a bench, eyes on her phone until she must notice class letting up because her gaze rises and she has a breathtaking smile when she notices him.
It quickly turns downward when Harry is stopped by a group of girls, they’re giggly and overly nice as they compliment him on his recent game and how good he looked in ESPN College Edition this week.
Harry would usually give them all a cocky smile, dimples on display, and his shoulders broad as he let them coo over him.
Now he’s a taken man, he doesn’t have to act like he’s into all these girls he’s not anymore, and it’s so refreshing when he gives them a short ‘thank you’ and squeezes out of their circle.
Their eyes follow with annoyance and envy as they’re dismissed so quickly for Harry to make his way over to YN, where she’s sat on the bench in one of his baseball hoodies and a pair of leggings.
The girls begin to whisper furiously amongst themselves when Harry bends down, gripping YN’s chin, and kissing her softly for a moment before helping her up and taking her backpack to swing over his other shoulder before intertwining their hands.
YN seems surprised as they walk away, her hand squeezing his tightly as she ignores the daggers being glared into her back.
“What’s the look for?” Harry asks when they’re finally away from everyone spilling out of the lecture hall, and on the walk back to his frat house.
“I was just surprised you kissed me in front of all them,” YN shrugs, trying to play it off like it wasn’t a big deal to her, “Most guys wouldn’t have done that in front of another group of pretty girls.”
It’s Harry’s turn to frown at that, stopping in his tracks to give her a look, “Why wouldn’t I kiss you in front of all them? You’re my person. I only want to kiss you. I don’t care what any of them think. I only care what you think.”
YN’s let’s a smile creep on her face, leaning up to kiss him for a long moment before she’s giving him a big hug and nuzzling her face into his chest.
“I love you. You’re just…” YN trails off, like she can’t find the right words, “You’re so good to me. I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”
Harry can’t believe that. It feels opposite, he doesn’t know what he did to deserve her.
“You deserve the best and I’m going to always give it to you. I’m going to show you off to everybody all the time,” Harry promises as they begin to walk again, this time his arm around her shoulders pulling him into his chest.
The sex dilemma floats out of the forefront of his mind only for a little, only until they’re in his room, and Harry announces he needs to shower.
He was still sweaty, dirty from practice because on these days he doesn’t have time to shower before class.
When he drops their belongs near the door, he’s kicking of his shoes and telling YN, “Alright, gotta get cleaned up before we cuddle. M’gross.”
He fully expects YN to make herself comfortable on his bed while he cleans up and what he doesn’t expect is to YN to follow him to the bathroom - luckily, he had his own and didn’t have to share with his disgusting frat mates.
“Wh-What’s up?” Harry stutters as his cheeks flush, he hadn’t had anytime to figure out how he was going to solve his stamina problem and showering with his drop dead gorgeous girlfriend wasn’t going to help.
YN’s face twists in confusion as he stands frozen near the sink, “Uh, I was going to join you? If you don’t want me to, I don’t have to. I just thought that-“
He could tell he had embarrassed her by the way she’s trying to overexplain her reasoning to following him in there but Harry also knows that normal couples shower together all the time and if he was fucking normal - he wouldn’t be so surprised.
He wants to shower with her, fuck, of course he does.
Harry wants to scream and pull his hair because in his lack of self-confidence and anxiety - he’s making her feel bad about herself.
“No, no,” Harry interrupts her, bringing her into his chest, and kissing the top of her head, “Forgive me, darling. This, just all this is new to me. I’ve never showered with anyone before. I’m still getting used to actually being in a relationship.”
YN seems a bit relieved at his explanation, kissing his collarbone and rubbing at his back, “Still, if you don’t feel comfortable with me joining you that’s okay. Not all couples shower together. I shouldn’t have assumed.”
Harry’s chest pangs because he just keeping mucking everything up, “No, I always want you with me. Please don’t second guess yourself, baby. Want you to shower with me. Want you with me every second of the day.”
YN nods against his chest but doesn’t make any move, like she’s nervous to be the first one, and so Harry does so first - stepping back to strip his shirt over his head before he’s slipping YN’s hoodie up and over her head.
He leans over to turn on the faucet to get the water warmed up, she’s standing there in just her bralette and leggings - god damn, she’s pretty.
Harry’s heart rate is going a million miles a minute as he shrugs the bralette over her head, her gorgeous tits bouncing out to where they naturally lay - perky but real and soft.
“Baby,” Harry huffs out in awe as he thumbs over her nipples - hard and puffy, they are making his mouth water, can’t help but duck down and wrap his lips around one as she whines happily.
She’s reaching for the waistband of his athletic shorts and briefs, pulling them both down in one go, and it’s not shocking he’s already plumped up and hard for her.
It was still a new experience, being bare and vulnerable in front of someone else - showing the innermost personal parts but he wanted her to see him, it made him feel good when she whispered how nice his cock was.
After he’s got her leggings and panties off, he’s bringing them under the stream of the shower, and watching in rapt amazement as the droplets slide down her neck, over the peaks of her breasts, and bead off her now soft nipples.
“Turn around,” She orders quietly, turning his shoulders until he’s facing towards the back of the tub, her hands come up with lathered shampoo and begin to scrub through his matted locks - her nails scratching against his scalp feel so good that he moans weakly.
She takes such care of him, his heart is melting for her as she washes out the suds before snagging his loofa off the shelves and beginning to wash down his body to wipe away all the dirt and sweat of the day.
It feels so amazing to be taken care of like this, he’s never had this before, and now that he does - he wants to cry because he’s just emotional.
When she’s finished with him, he takes it upon himself to return the favor, not because he feels obligated but because he wants to take care of her just as much and prove his worth as a partner.
“Ouch,” YN hisses when Harry’s fingers get tangled in a knot in her hair and pull it quite harshly, YN’s face contorting in a brief moment of pain.
“Fuck, m’sorry,” Harry apologizes instantly, he was on edge and he just kept making everything worse - he just pulled his girlfriend’s hair, “M’sorry, baby. Are you alright?”
YN rolls her eyes at him, stepping closer and flopping against his wet chest, kissing his skin, and nodding, “I’m fine. You don’t have to apologize. Just be careful.”
Harry’s hands are shaking with nerves as he carefully weaves through her locks, taking his time with the knots before he’s moving onto soaping her body up - he would have to buy scents she liked as everything in his shower was more masculine scented like sandalwood and sage.
After gently running the loofa over her tits and belly, Harry dips downwards but she’s moving his hand away from her center and down her thighs.
“No scented products near the goods,” YN tells him as she wipes a stray hair off his forehead, “It will throw off my PH. I just use unscented soap for that.”
And once again, he feels like a fucking idiot and like he should have known that about female anatomy but he didn’t.
He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, inhaling through his mouth because he feels like such a twat today.
YN doesn’t notice, her eyes shut as she lets the water pound down on her skin, and humming happily as he washes down her legs, hand playing with his sodden curls.
They dry off and Harry grabs YN a tee shirt of his from a baseball camp because he loves seeing her in his stuff - it settled his possessive side.
YN uses his hairdryer to dry her hair until it’s nearly dry, just damp on the ends, and she crawls onto his bed, forgoing dressing in her shirt and underwear.
And Harry doesn’t know what to do because he wants to crawl over top of her, kiss her, and push inside where he knows she’s hot and ready for him but he also knows he was just in the shower for half and hour naked with her and he’ll come too soon.
“Er, what do you want to watch?” Harry asks instead, standing in his tight briefs near his desk with the remote - clicking through Netflix.
YN who’s got a confused look on her face doesn’t say anything at first, she’s literally splayed out on her boyfriends bed bare as the day she was born, and he hadn’t even acknowledged it.
“I was thinking about Bake-Off? We haven’t finished the season yet,” Harry swallowed nervously, eyes glued to the screen and not at her.
YN visibly deflates out of the corner of her eye, her shoulders slumping and she reaches for her top to shove quickly over her head before tugging on her underwear.
“Yeah, that’s fine,” YN responds without the enthusiasm she had a few minutes ago, Harry realizes for the second time that night he’s embarrassed her - he just turned down her blatant invitation.
Harry hates this.
YN is perfect, doing everything perfect, and he can’t get a fucking grip on himself.
He needs a second.
“I’m going to go make us some popcorn,” Harry excuses himself, tugging on a pair of shorts as he exits the room.
A few minutes later, with a bowl of popcorn and some water bottles, he enters his room again, frowning when he notices that YN had also tugged on a pair of his joggers.
“You cold? I can close the window,” Harry offers as he sets the food down and YN looks down at her hands, avoiding eye contact.
“No, m’fine,” She responds, her tone is unsure like he’s never really heard it, “I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I figured I’d cover myself up.”
Harry shakes his head, angry at himself as he mutters, “Fuck.”
YN glances up at him with wide eyes as she watches him pace for a moment before he’s stepping over to her, kneeling down in front of the bed, and putting his hands on her thighs.
“It’s not you. You never make me uncomfortable, baby,” Harry reassures her, he feels tears start to prick his eyes as he hangs his head, “I just keep fucking this up.”
“You’re not fucking anything up, Harry,” YN replies softly, her hands coming to rub at his shoulders, “What do you mean?”
Harry sniffles pathetically, refusing to look up, “I wanted to jump your bones the second you were naked on my bed. I wanted you in the shower with me before you even offered but I’m making you feel like I’m not into you and I’m sorry.”
YN titters, thumbing over his warm ears, “I don’t think you’re not into me. I feel like I’m not reading you correctly and I feel bad.”
“No, no, baby,” Harry refutes, kissing her belly, “You’re reading me right. I want you. Every part of you. I just…I’m really doubting myself and I don’t feel like a good boyfriend.”
“But why?” YN presses, finally forcing his chin up until his watery eyes are meeting her concerned, honeyed one’s.
“You’re gonna laugh at me,” He mumbles but lets her press sweet kisses over his forehead and temples as he struggles.
“Never going to laugh about something serious, if you want us to have a healthy relationship we have to work through whatever is bothering you,” YN encourages, cupping his hands and moving her lips to kiss all over them as well.
“I was in the locker room today and they’re were fuckin’ around and making fun of some guy who…doesn’t last long. It made me anxious because I haven’t been and I don’t want you to get annoyed with me because I’m not good in bed,” Harry’s gone teary again, YN is quick to wipe them with her thumb and a knowing, calm smile decorates her face.
“Baby, that’s why you’ve been so skittish?” YN shakes her head with a small giggle, leaning down to kiss him once more.
“Said you weren’t gonna laugh at me,” Harry grumpily reminds her, nudging her cheek with his nose before pulling back.
“Didn’t realize you were worried about something absurd,” YN tries to tamper down her grin, “You’re worried that I’m not enjoying myself when we had sex?”
“You had to finish yourself off,” Harry points out as a weak reason to his defense.
YN raises an eyebrow, “Okay, at the end? But the reason I was even close enough to get myself off was because I was so turned on and you were making me feel so good.”
Harry didn’t think of it like that, he blinks at her like he wants her to keep talking, and so she does, gripping his hands firmly.
“The two times we’ve done it, they’ve literally been the best experiences I’ve ever had sexually,” YN rubs at the bridge of her nose, “I told you no guy has ever made me come before even when I was helping myself along.”
Harry takes in that information, a sense of pride swelling in his chest, and twitch in his thin shorts at the praise.
“Fuck,” Harry mumbles, brushing his lips against her clothed shoulder, “M’sorry I’ve been being such a dickhead.”
“You just need to communicate. I understand this is all new to you. It’s new to me too. It’s the first time I’ve ever been in love with the person I’m having sex with,” YN admits as her body gravitates closer to him and her legs spread for him to wriggle in between.
“And I’m going to be the only one who gets you like this. Always gonna be in love with everything about you. You’re my person,” Harry reassured her, the nerves melting away because he feels so fucking safe with her.
The stage fright, the nasty quells of insecurity dissipate, and are fully replaced desire to please the gorgeous girl in front of him.
“I’m sorry I made you feel like you needed to cover-up. I actually think we should probably do a no clothes policy in my room from here on out,” Harry rasps, his tone getting lower with the more arousal swirling in his tummy.
YN giggles kittenishly and it goes straight to his center, “Oh really? When did that become a rule?”
“Right about now,” Harry growls impatiently, tugging off her bottoms and panties in one rough yank before he’s lifting her thighs over his shoulders and making himself at home between them, “Fuck. How do you always taste so good, pet?”
“I-oh fuck, Harry,” YN whines loudly as her legs try to squeeze around his ears, he was so fucking dedicated when he went at it - licking, kissing, sucking every bit of her mound and what lay inside.
“Always want this,” Harry murmurs before lapping consistently at her slit while he thumbs at her clit - it was all coming naturally to him now.
“Yes, there. Yes,” YN encourage breathlessly when he finds the perfect rhythm that  has her back arching of the mattress and legs restless against his shoulders.
The encouragement just spurs him on to thrust his tongue into her perfect, velvet core as his thumb doesn’t stop the motion.
Her hips speed up to ride down onto his tongue as she nears her orgasm, Harry reaches up to flip her shirt up to reach and knead at one of her tits, pinching at the nipple.
That small burst of pain tends to do the trip because she’s squeezing on his tongue, clit throbbing against his thumb as she tries to muffle her mewls as she comes down.
“In me, want you in me,” She orders brattily, pulling Harry up by his biceps and dragging him on top of her, she’s bossy as she grips him around the base and leads him straight to where she needs him.
“Fuck, fuck baby,” Harry moans as he’s overwhelmed with pure fucking euphoria, his hips starting to fuck in automatically as his noises echo off the walls.
“S’good, you make me so full,” YN whimpers as her lips brush against his on every odd thrust, “Love being full of you.”
“Darling,” Harry scolds between a groan, the dirty talk did not help his stamina and fuck, her mewling about how full she felt just made it worse because he’s giving a few more weak thrusts before he’s coming as well.
“Mm, thank you,” YN hums as she pulls him up for another kiss, a spark in her core when she tastes herself, “See, practice makes perfect. We’ll get there.”
“Next time m’taping your mouth shut, who knew you spewed filth like a sailor?” Harry teases as he pulls at her bottom lip, “Made me come on the spot.”
“I don’t mind being gagged,” YN says nonchalantly and holy shit, Harry is in big trouble with this girl.
He fucking loves his person, his safe place.
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harrywavycurly · 11 months
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Sarah! I was just seeing if you’d be willing to do a Harry text with his gf who gave her seat up at a show to a fan or traded seats with someone because I feel like that’s something I’d do if i was dating Harry 🥰🥰
Hiii babes!! Awe I love this because same I’d be handing out pit wristbands left and right 😂 I hope you enjoy this!💖
-find all things boyfriend Harry Styles here✨
*Harry knows you like to give you seat up and you like how many people are dressed like fruits*
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ashleighsss · 5 days
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Can someone help my find a story abt harry styles where he’s a footballer at a highschool and he’s dating the coaches neice who photographs the team and is shy? I love the story and cannot find it 🩷
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purple-1995 · 3 months
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Imagine that boyfriend that is always the hornier one in the relationship. Imagine him always wanting to kiss, to touch, to fuck. You are changing after getting home from running some errands and he sees your tits? Please, let him feel them, kiss them, bury his face between them 🥺🙏 You are going to shower? Please, let him join you, he can help you wash your back... and maybe you can let him jerk off while you make your body all wet and soapy in front of him 😇 You are going to sleep in his bed? Please, please, please. He knows you are tired, baby, but you won't have to do anything, just lay down and look pretty, he will do all the work 🥰
Just imagine that 🥵
#Horny!Boyfriend
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gurugirl · 1 month
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Ex-Boyfriend's Dad!Harry
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ex-boyfriend's dad!harry x reader - forbidden relationship au
Series Warnings: explicit content, smut (including anal, rough blow jobs), age gap, angst, daddy kink, dom/sub dynamics, spanking, choking, slight degradation, use of small implements (collar and leash, anal plug)
Coming soon to Tumblr! All parts to be posted on Patreon first.
Based on these requests: Here Here Here Here Here (there are more in my #into the drafts tag but y'all get the hint - this was heavily requested 🖤)
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Part 1 (8.2k words) TEASER
After you break up with your boyfriend, his dad, Harry, stops by your apartment to drop off a few of your things. But that's not all he's there to bring you.
Part 2 (10.8k words) TEASER
Harry wants to show you what you've been missing if you'll let him. OR The filthy smutty one
Part 3 (8.3k) TEASER
You get to try things with Harry you never had the chance to before but the more you get to know him the more of him you want. And that's a problem.
Part 4 (10k) TEASER
You and Harry are both missing each other and despite Tyler's sudden interest in talking to you, Harry's determined to finish what you both started.
divider by @firefly-graphics
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mostmagical · 5 months
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adrien never went to public school au where ladynoir is dating and they finally reveal themselves, and marinette thinks, "huh, he's kinda familiar looking." but like he's her boyfriend so she just thinks welp can't be helped.
and then the first date they go on as adrinette, all these people keep staring at them and she asks him why and he just kinda shrugs and goes "hmm maybe the new ad." and she gets confused and asks "what ad??" and she turns around and there's billboards EVERYWHERE and she realizes she missed her boyfriend hiding in plain sight
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finelinevogue · 8 months
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lost n found
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summary - you are lost in italy the night before your wedding
pairing: fiancé!harry x reader
word count: ~2k
You were definitely lost.
Drunk and lost.
To: harry - im so sor:(y
From: harry - Baby, you’re fine❤️ Drop me your location and I’ll come find you. Please don’t move xx
To: harry - okaY.i love you xox
So currently you were sat on a stone wall, somewhere on a random side street in a small Italian village, waiting for your boyfriend to come and pick you up.
Harry had gone out with a few of his closest guy friends for drinks, for one last night as an unmarried man.
You and your girls had gone out for drinks too and you had mentioned to the boys that you would catch them up later.
At some point during the evening, though, you and the girls had all gone to the beach and you had gone to the toilet. It had been a trek to find one, only when you tried to find your way back you took so many drunken wrong turns that you couldn’t tell your legs from rights now.
Reading a map was useless, but sending Harry messages wasn’t.
You originally hadn’t wanted to send him any messages, not wanting to ruin his last night a “free” man but at some point you had become a little too lost to care.
Swinging your legs as you sat on the wall, you watched the birds fly overhead amongst the clear blue sky. You detailed all the cracks in the old buildings and counted twelve windows on one wall alone.
Your brain was fuzzy and your eyes kept on wanting to close from tiredness. You would be blaming a lot of your girl friends tomorrow for the continuous passing of shots your way.
Your phone rang in your hand.
“Yeah?” You answered, not even checking the caller ID.
“Baby? Love? Can y’hear me?” Harry asked.
“Yeah.”
“You’re not where y’said you’d be.” Harry sounded stressed.
“N-no I am. I sent you my location a-and I haven’t moved.”
You stood up and could feel yourself starting to panic. If Harry didn’t know where you were then there was no way of you knowing. Harry wasn’t ever a big enough drinker to get really drunk, unlike you.
You only ever got drunk when you felt you were in a safe environment, like tonight had been surrounded by all your closest girl friends. Or always with Harry.
Now that you didn’t have anyone and you were still drunk, you were getting anxiety of being alone and intoxicated.
Cue to shaky hands and tears.
“Are y’sure baby?”
“Y-yes. Fuck me. You’re not going to find me. Fuck. I don’t – shit – I.. I’m…”
“Hey, hey. Y/N, baby. Woah, slow down for me, okay? I am coming for you, okay? I just.. It was my mistake and I just need to relocate myself. You’re okay.”
Your phone was shaky in your hands and you started twisting your body around, as if expecting some random creepy guy to come around the corner and take advantage of you.
The twisting didn’t help your head, though, and was making you feel increasingly dizzy and sick.
“Y/N?” Harry asked urgently and you wondered whether you’d missed something he said.
“I-I’m scared.” You honestly said, backing yourself against a wall and trying to let the cool stone calm you down.
Your tears will no doubt have ruined your minimal makeup by now, not that that was a main priority of yours right now.
“Honey, you’re okay. I’ll be there soon, I promise.”
Harry sounded like he was running.
His voice sounded a little breathy and you could hear the fast movement of wind through the speakerphone.
“Y/N, love, turn on your data.” Harry said.
“I ran out.” You banged your head back against the wall, not even thinking about the pain that just caused.
You whimpered as you sank down onto the floor, knees tucked close to your chest and arm wrapped around your legs. Your phone was still to your ear, with Harry’s voice being the only sane thing in this moment.
“Okay, okay.” Harry muttered to himself rather than you. More running sounded from Harry’s end of the phone. “Baby, y’still there?”
“Mm.”
Your mind travelled to many worst case scenarios and due to how bad they were your panic only increased.
This was supposed to be your last nights as an unmarried couple and you couldn’t help but feel like you’d ruined that. He must’ve been having such a good night.
You’d seen a couple of photos on his private Instagram story and other people’s Instagram stories. Your fiancé looked divine. He just looked so perfect that it was difficult to believe that he had chosen you and you got to call him yours.
It did make you nearly cry that he was thinking of you, via Instagram, though.
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“You feeling okay, baby?” Harry asked.
“Don’t know. I’m so sorry, Harry.”
“It’s okay. I’m not angry or upset. Just want to make sure you’re okay, my love.”
“Okay.”
“So you have to be brave for me, okay?”
“Yes, okay.”
You got stuck for a moment, trying to think of possible ways you could calm yourself down and distract yourself. Luckily, Harry was already one step ahead.
“Hey, baby?” He grabbed your attention.
“Yeah.”
“We’re getting married tomorrow.”
You couldn’t help but let the smile take over your face. You weren’t scared at all for tomorrow. You had no nervous jitters. All you felt was love in your heart for your husband to be.
“We are.”
“And you’re going to look so beautiful.”
“So are you.”
“I can’t wait to see you in your wedding dress. I bet it looks so pretty.”
You sniffled, building back your strength and overcoming your anxiety. A lot of your strength came from the love you hold for Harry.
You heard a noise from your left and looked to see a cat rustling through some litter.
Your heart deflated when you realised it wasn’t Harry. You knew he was coming though. He was on his way and he would not stop running until he found you.
It was almost like a bad scene out of a romance movie.
The night before your wedding and something terrible goes wrong. It’s a sign!
“I think it’s just perfectly me.” You said, talking about your wedding dress.
“Sounds perfect to me then.” Harry paused for a moment. “Baby, did you walk under an archway, like, uh, a stone archway covered in pink flowers?”
“I-I don’t know. I don’t remember.” You ran a stressed hand over your forehead.
“Okay. That’s okay.”
“Everyone’s going to be so mad at me.” You began getting frustrated with yourself. “Fuck.” You breathed in a sob and exhaled with a bigger breath.
“Promise you no one’s mad, baby. Gem has messaged me a thousand times asking if you’re okay. I can’t even answer ‘cause this bloody maps apps is a fucking nuisance. I swear to–”
“Harry?” You furrowed your eyebrows, looking up from your knees to check your phone. He was still on the line. “Hello?”
“Y/N!” Harry shouted your name, but not from down the phone.
You could see Harry walking over to you very quickly, clearly panting from having run street after street.
“H.” You dropped your phone and cried as you saw him faster approach you.
Definitely a moment worthy of a romcom.
Harry was probably living his Ryan Gosling dreams.
“Baby, hey. I’m here. You’re okay.” Harry sank down to the floor and scooped his arms around you, pulling you close and squeezing oh so tight.
He sank down to his bum and leaned against the wall, pulling your entirely onto his lap. Too close wasn’t an option right now.
Your arms wrapped around his neck as you sat sideways on his lap. Your face was tucked under his chin and his head rested on top of yours. You cried as Harry held you tight.
You couldn’t see Harry’s facial expressions but he was breathing out sighs of relief, some tears in his own eyes from the adrenaline of trying to find you. He had been just as scared as you, but had to remain strong for you. Now he had you he could let it all out.
“You’re never going to the toilet alone again.” Harry laughed. You laughed back.
“Deal.”
“That was scary.” Harry kind of mumbled, but you heard him anyways. He kissed your head a few times and you melted at the feel.
“Harry.”
“Yeah, love?”
“My head is so dizzy.”
Harry used a hand to tilt your head up so he could see your face. He noticed your mascara ridden face first of all, but beneath that you were all beauty.
“Tequila is only our friend for two rounds, remember?” He laughed at you. He was able to tell from your eyes that you weren’t exceedingly drunk, but definitely tipsy.
“I did not remember.”
He nuzzled his nose against yours as he shook his head with a grin. “You’re such a handful, you.”
“M’sorry.” You pouted.
“Never said I didn’t love you as a handful.”
“Do you? Love me a handful?” You used a hand to stroke over his cheek that had gotten so scruffy with the stubble he was trying to grow.
“‘Course. Love you every way and anyway. Love you so much. Love you until my body literally decomposes my wedding ring off my finger, and then some more.”
“That was dark, even for a 2AM drunk thought.”
“It was, wasn’t it?” Harry chuckled, noticing that smile on your face becoming more and more permanent.
“But I’ll love you for the same.” You promised.
Harry kissed you then, not wasting another moment of this evening away from you. Well, morning now. His lips were soft against yours and you smiled into the kiss, happy that he was here with you even if it was under really weird circumstances.
“Let’s go, trouble. We’ll go back to the hotel and I’ll kiss you all night.”
“Don’t you want to spend the rest of your night with the boys? You know, last night as a free man?” Even though you were suggesting this, all you actually wanted to do was kiss, kiss and kiss him.
“Free man?” Harry furrowed his eyebrows with disgust, “What are you talking about?”
“You know? People say the last night before they get married is their last chance to be free?”
“Why would I need to be free when I’ve got you? I’m choosing you, like I always have. Never needed to be free.”
You smiled warmly at him. “I’m shackling you to me for life.”
“Too right you are, baby. Wouldn’t want it any other way.”
“Now, take me home, trouble.” You giggled.
“Oh. So I’m the trouble now?”
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liked by gemmastyles and 682,928 others
yourinstagram tomorrow i get your last name forever <3 p.s. i would like to state that harry bought himself that tshirt :)
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harryfan1 oh to be y/n l/n
jeffezoff Where did you two go?
harryfan2 moustacherry fans rrIISEEEEE
harryfan3 wish my bf supported me with tshirts like that
jamescorden Tequila anyone?
harrystyles I am planning on wearing that tshirt tomorrow.
yourinstagram @/harrystyles the tshirt but nothing else please
gemmastyles @/jamescorden They aren’t coming back for tequila….
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harrysonlylover · 5 months
Text
Safe Bliss*
Summary: A small glimpse into y/n and Harry’s life during pregnancy and his obsession with her.
Trope: CEO!H
Wc: 3.1k
Warnings: oral, creampie,doctor check ups, dirty talk, mentions of fertility and breeding.
A/n: My attempt at getting back
CEO H MASTERLIST
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Harry’s love language is physical touch.
He’s obsessed with touching you at all times. His hands are rarely found clasped in his lap, they have to be on your skin.
It’s a sentimental gesture in your opinion, a very basic love language made special by him.
It’s not a surprise, after all, you met him during an orgy and he’s the CEO of a sex toys company. You’re accustomed to his antics but others aren’t. His dotting has become a daily routine in your life even before your pregnancy.
Your friends gave you weird looks whenever you went out on a double date, you were quite aware of what they meant but you could not care less. As for Harry, he would be far too gone to notice.
It’s safe to say that it’s always been you and him in a little bubble full of love and touches. This bubble grew bigger with peanut residing in your belly.
Every day you wake up and wait for your life to change, to realize that it was some sort of dream but it never happens. Harry changed your life upside down, it has nothing to do with money or power. He provided you with love you never knew existed, not even in fairytales.
Before you, Harry had no real purpose even when the world was at his feet.
One magazine cover after the other, interviews, meetings, invitations, events, fans, and even some offers from Hollywood directors. All felt mundane to him, things that any regular person would find astonishing.
Some sort of epiphany was fulfilled on a warm April night. He was trying to lose himself in sex, something he adored without shame. And where would he go if not his sex club?
 There are days where he likes to recall all the tiny details leading up to this life-changing moment, while on others he stares at you for a minute or two before letting out a silent prayer stemming from the disbelief of being yours.
It all happened so fast in a crowded room of sweaty bodies letting out their lustful energies. The air was charged with sexual tension as is normal, but the one that radiated off of you and Harry was different.
His entire body was on fire, his fingertips were numb and he felt intoxicated despite being sober.
He convinced himself that it was just the rush of adrenaline and that fucking you would get it out of his system.
He was wrong of course.
Barely 36 hours passed before he asked his secretary to find your number, followed by begging and pleading that he doesn’t necessarily wish to recall.
Now you’re pregnant with his first child, have some of his properties in your name, and will get his last name soon.
You both managed to change each other’s perspective about love and what it meant to be on the receiving end of it. He showed you how a real man should treat you.
His insistence on dating you had you feeling a bit paranoid. It’s a bit flattering when someone is infatuated with you, but Harry surely reached another level.
You were guarding your heart as a precaution from past experiences, so why would a famous rich CEO be any better?
Just like him, you were mistaken.
He went above and beyond to prove to you that he was not bluffing. Four months after your first date, you visited him at his office where you spotted a picture of you taken at a recent outing, framed, and placed near his computer.
That was a huge turning point for you, it opened your eyes to many of his actions that you did not notice before.
You didn’t notice that he bought you the flowers that were printed on your dress the night you met, that he changed his schedule so he could meet up with you, or that he protected your safety with many measures that could’ve hindered his public image.
His need for being around you intensified during the breeding period. He developed a new obsession where he would have you sit in his lap for cuddles, and easier access…
You would often catch him in the act of gazing at your tummy and most of the time, he fucked you senseless after.
His proudness of being your partner and baby daddy made him forget the fact that he’s a public figure. His tongue almost slipped on many occasions due to his excitement of becoming a dad.
The doctor checkups were a whole other thing. An appointment that usually takes around 20 minutes would end up taking an hour thanks to Harry.
Having read a load of books and consumed information from the internet, he would ask your gynecologist questions about your pregnancy and health that have the poor doctor questioning his career and tolerance.
It was moments like these that indicated what an amazing person he is. Every time you go for a check-up, he leaves you for a few minutes while you clean up and sort yourself. You’re aware that he does that to leave a donation and come back quickly but you never say anything.
His adoration for you seems to only get stronger with every passing day. He often worked from home because he “wanted to be around his loves”.
It is no longer a surprise to find his body clinging to you in the mornings instead of being at his office.
He’s simply in love.
Your pregnancy hormones are yet to kick in, but that’s not a barrier because you still take any chance you get to jump at each other like rabbits.
The slow growth of your breasts along with their tenderness and the prominent appearance of your nipples has Harry weak in the knees.
You could only wonder what will happen when you begin to lactate.
Today is one of those days.
You’ve been at it since the morning before he cooked you breakfast and served it in bed.
You both agreed that he should work so you urged him to lock himself up in his office and stay there till lunch.
Thirty minutes later, you found yourself arranging your shared bedroom and collecting laundry, but you couldn’t think properly, not when your fiancée was in the same house as you.
You were bending down near the bed when you felt something large pressing into your ass. You yelped and straightened your posture only to be met with the sight of a fed-up Harry and a bulge in his pants.
“Baby what are you—“
“I need you. Can’t stay away.” He pulled your body closer and attached his mouth to the back of your neck.
“It has barely been half an hour since we fucked.” You groaned knowing that he’ll fall behind on work if he continues behaving this way.
“Really? I knew it’s been a while!” His chuckle vibrated against your back as he engulfed you in a loving embrace.
“Did you even get some work done?” You questioned him with a bossy tone.
“No. Who cares? I’m the CEO.” He whispered lowly in your ear prompting goosebumps to rise all over your body.
Your entire system feels rigid whenever he mentions his power. He’s not someone who abuses it, and perhaps that’s what makes him attractive in your opinion. To explain it briefly, he’s fine with neglecting work just because he wants to be around his baby mama.
“Doesn’t mean you can boss me around mister.” You turned around to face him, cradling his face in your hand as you pressed your body closer to his.
“Never. You’re my boss.” And that is your man. Someone who’s not afraid to admit that their female partner has the upper hand.
Your giggles echoed in the room before joining your lips together in a rush as if you hadn’t seen each other in years. Harry is always extra excited to kiss you like it’s his first time (he cried during your first kiss)
“But..” He pulled back momentarily, gazing into your eyes as mischief took over his. “It doesn’t mean that I’m oblivious to the fact that you need to be fucked daily.”
You swallowed down your throat feeling his fingers travel over your hips and outer thighs. His lips attached to the nape of your neck, leaving subtle kisses that fuelled a fire inside of you.
It’s truly insane to think about the way your chemistry works. You just have to be near each other and everything else collapses.
“Baby..”. Your soft moans echoed in his ear as you held on to his bicep and grinded against his body. The laundry and his office work were long forgotten.
“Can never get enough of you my love.” He confessed breathlessly trying to keep his mouth attached to your skin.
The wetness between your thighs from earlier today having taken a load of his cum joined with the one being formed due to his pining is not helping you at all.
A wet patch covered your grey panties, the same ones he helped you put on claiming that he’ll stay away for good.
Obviously , that was a lie.
The back of your knees hit the edge of the bed. Harry’s arm was wrapped around your waist as you instinctively spread your legs for him.
“These pretty legs are always open for me aren’t they?” He grinned knowingly, rubbing circles to your inner thighs.
The pulsing in your pussy was unbearable. You could feel his cock brushing against your leg making you whine and roll your eyes backwards.
As of recently, all you could think about was his cock. How it was curved to hit the right spots, how it bred you perfectly and fucked you into madness . You simply want it inside you 24/7.
“H…”. It came out as a whimper when his fingers brushed purposefully over your sensitive cunt.
“Please just fuck me now.”
“Where are your manners sweetheart?” He tsked, slowly undressing you before prepping hungry kisses to your pelvis.
The gentle breeze from the open window invaded the room and tickled your skin as you closed your eyes and relished in the feeling of Harry’s touch over your naked body.
It felt like a prayer to him.
“Now let’s see if your greedy cunt swallowed all of my cum.” His voice, thick with lust and pleasure warned you of what was to come. This was not going to end with functional legs.
He refrained from mocking your soaked panties. Part of him knew that it would happen and the other part was proud that he caused it.
You stared at each other in adoration, ogling your bodies shamelessly. You could almost drool at the sight of his toned abs and pumped chest. The way his cock stood erect against his stomach ready to engulf your walls. If your legs weren’t spread beforehand, you would be squirming to relieve yourself. And if you weren’t pregnant already, your ovaries would be in pain.
He breathed in, attempting to hold back from pouncing at you like a predator. Your bump is slightly more prominent since you’re on your back, your nipples are erect and the change in your areolas is making his head spin.
“Wide hips, full breasts, swollen tummy and a dripping pussy. That’s my girl.” He spoke like a man who was proud of what he had done. If you didn’t wish to stay under the radar for a while, he’d probably tell strangers on the street that he’s going to be a dad.
“Well this pussy is feral and hormonal so get to it.” You were not here to mess around, you knew what you needed and he could never say no to you. Especially not when you’re using your hand to spread your lips and give him a glimpse of the stored load that he released inside you earlier today.
“Hormonal or not, you know I can’t get enough of you.” He positioned himself between your legs and lowered his face to inhale the smell of wetness mixed with his cum. It was like a ritual for him.
The only thing that didn’t change during pregnancy is getting your pussy filled with his cum. He was content in doing so pre-pregnancy and will continue to stuff you until you give birth.
His tongue caught some of the semen that was dripping down your inner thighs making you arch your back.
It felt so warm yet it stimulated your horniness. It made you aware that his cock wasn’t stuffing you to the brim. He’s obsessed with licking your pussy clean, and you know that he’ll fuck you when he’s done so you patiently wait.
He took a broad lick along your slit reaching to your clit, where he wrapped it around his mouth and suckled on it. You jerked your hips in reaction and tugged at his hair.
“Such a fertile pussy for daddy.” He spat on your vulva, observing how the saliva trailed down your already wet folds. Your hands gripped the sheets tightly in response.
Being inside the house every day with your fiancée felt like being in a sex club. The constant sex and foreplay prompted you to be wet at all times, but most importantly sensitive.
Your sensitivity increased and you didn’t care whether it was due to pregnancy or Harry’s hunger , because your orgasms have been countless.
“Ohhhh.” Your eyes were shut and your chest was rising up and down as you poured all of your focus on the way Harry’s tongue was suckling your clitoris.
The wet slurping sounds along with his moans were outrageous. His fingers dug into your skin but not as harsh as usual. He adored having bruises on your skin, the same way you leave crescent nail marks on his back, but he’s been very cautious since you began trying for a baby a few months ago.
“Should I praise this cunt for taking all of my cum or degrade it?” He looked up to you, his chin resting on your pelvis as he panted heavily with juices coating his chin and a fallen hair strand covering his forehead.
“Both.” You smiled reaching for his veiny hand that’s adorned with rings (and wetness) and brought it up to your breasts. Watching his pupils darken was a delight, your tits had gotten a bit fuller and you went only one bra cup up but that didn’t matter a lot since you never wore bras around Harry.
You knew intuitively that his lactation kink would kick in soon, he loves eyeing your breasts when you’re wearing a low crop top with your small bump on display. It makes him go down on his knees (literally).
“I’ve been ignoring these beauties haven’t I?” He cooed, towering his body over yours while keeping one of his hands cupped over your pussy.
You nodded at his question giving him fuck me eyes that had him hypnotized. He’s still not done with your pussy, but you loved making his head spin with your body. He’s aware that he can’t pleasure you everywhere all at once and it pissed him off.
“You’re a fucking goddess.” He kissed your sternum and moved slowly to your full tits where he swallowed down his throat upon laying his eyes on your perky nipples.
“You like them?”.Teasing him was entertaining. You tweaked one of your nipples followed by biting your bottom lip, before clenching your pussy knowing that his hand is placed there.
“I worship them.” He breathed out almost instantly and took the other bud inside his mouth.
“Gonna provide milk for our babies. Such an amazing mama aren’t you?”. Hearing him say “babies” in plural had you moaning. You can’t wait for him to breed you again.
He couldn’t contain himself once he began suckling on your breasts, his fingers that were cupping your pussy plunged inside it as he grinned at how your back arched in response.
“I can feel my cum deep in your pussy.” He whispered in your ear after reluctantly detaching from your bud.
“Guess I got used to raising my hips after all those breeding sessions.” He curled his fingers inside and he was not wrong at all. You felt the warm cum flowing inside of you and your whole body tingled knowing that you’ll get another load soon.
He suddenly retracted his body away from you and redirected his attention to your pussy that was dripping on his fingers. He tapped on your thighs, signaling for you to raise your legs over his shoulders. He was obsessed with being trapped this way.
He turned relentless with licking and suckling, balancing between overstimulating your sensitive nerve bud, plunging his thick fingers inside your warm walls, licking up your mixed juices, and slapping your vulva.
“Uhhh—fuck me.” You whined from the excessive pleasure he was providing you as you jerked your hips into his mouth.
“Oh, baby—I will. I’ll hit your cervix the way you like, the same way that got my seed into your womb.” He added in another finger while flicking your engorged swollen clitoris.
“But first, cum for me.” He ordered with a direct tone that dripped with authority. And who are you to refuse him?
Your orgasm washed over your body as your moans echoed through the room combined with curses. Your hand tugged at Harry’s hair who completely shoved his face in your pussy.
“Atta Girl. That’s it, sweetheart.” It was an intense orgasm and the aftermath was even more extreme. Harry pressed delicate pecks to your pulsating pussy and inner thighs as he murmured praises of love.
Your chest heaved and your pussy was clenching around nothing. It was one hell of an orgasm, more of a warm up even.
“Are you still going to fuck me?” You caught him off guard with your question. Your legs were shaking yet your grip on him was going to leave bruises. It seemed like you would cry if he didn’t stick his cock inside of you.
He moved your hair out of your face and kissed your temple. “Of course I will darling. Gotta take care of my pretty fiancée.” He took in your post-orgasm glow before leaving love marks over your bare skin.
You were intertwined together and the breeze from the window invaded the air with a rich aroma. Everything felt sweet and intimate. Harry’s body engulfed yours as he whispered the filthiest promises in your ear.
You were both stuck in a safe bliss.
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lovecanyon · 6 months
Text
Inside Y/N L/N’s Bag | Vogue | Dad!H
MASTERLIST | PATREON
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“Hi Vogue I am Y/N L/N and this is what’s in my bag.”
After she introduces herself, Y/N looks down at the bag in her lap. The bag she had used every single day was a personalized Pleasing mesh bag. It was a light pink color and had a blue ribbon tied onto one of the straps.
It was clear that it meant a lot to her.
“What I carry with me everyday is this.” She says grabbing onto her bag. “You can fit anything in here. And the thing about this is, it’s technically Inez’s diaper bag.”
Y/N then grins at the memory of Harry gifting her the tote.
“This specific bag was gifted to me by my husband a while ago, right before he had launched Pleasing. My son actually loves this bag and has one of his own but smaller. He doesn't go anywhere without it.” Y/N shares.
Setting her carrier onto the wooden coffee table in front of her, the Styles woman reaches into her bag and pulls out a bag of candy. Beau's favorite type.
Y/N remembers the night when Harry had got their son addicted to the chocolate minstrels.
“My son is obsessed with these and when I saw them I had to get them for him.” She laughs. “I spoil my kids way too much.”
The next thing Y/N pulled out was her phone. Just a plain iPhone 14 with a case that she had stolen from Harry or borrowed it, so she said. Once she taps on the screen her face lights up.
Her lock screen was a photo of a newborn Inez sleeping on Harry’s chest with Beau right beside them.
She almost shed a tear.
“This is my phone, nothing special until you look at the lock screen.” Y/N grins. She loved her family so deeply.
After placing her phone onto the table, she slides her hand into her carrier pulling out a blue bandanna. It previously belonged to Harry until Inez came around and slid the bandanna off of her father’s head.
It was truly her favorite thing in the world. You could say it was sort of like a safety blanket for her.
“Harry’s bandanna or should I say Inez’s bandanna. That girl loves this thing so much.”
-
A small bag of diapers, bibs, toy trucks, hair clips that she had stole back from Harry, kids sunscreen, Love on Tour’s backstage/V.I.P passes, bandaids, Harry’s headphones, her family’s passports and a camera
“Since we’re currently on tour and always traveling I always have to carry my children’s essentials.” Y/N explains looking at all the items laid out in front of her. “You can never be unprepared.”
Just five years ago her bag was filled with very different items than now. She was now a mother and had a family with a man she’s always wanted to grow old with.
Two kids later and she’s become a changed woman, a better one. She’s always valued the life she had, especially right now. Y/N couldn't have been more happy.
“Another toy!” Y/N laughs, pulling out another toy from her bag. “A mini statue of our dog Kendall who was actually named after Kendall Roy from Succession since Harry is obsessed with that show.” She holds out a miniature dog in her palm.
Following the toy, she slides out a pair of rings that clearly belonged to Harry Styles since they were his initials.
Y/N leans forward and slips the rings into her back pocket. She remembers the last time Harry had lost jewelry. It was at Coachella and he went insane looking for them.
“We are not losing any more rings.”
Comments:
harryfan2 WHEN WAS THEIR WEDDING OMFG?????
harryfan10 best mother in the world truly
harryfan4 harry’s love for succession has me rolling 😭😭
harryfan8 this. is. what. we. needed.
harryfan13 THE LOCK SCREEN
harryfan7 i cannot stress how much i love this video
harryfan5 the literal girl version of harry
harryfan9 harry is finally y/n’s husband 🧎‍♂️
harryfan11 i’m literally crying
-
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0nlythrowharrybeaux · 2 months
Text
A Twist of Fate: No Hard Feelings**^
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Thank you everyone for your patience. Here is Part 2 to this star-crossed lovers story. This part really focuses on the break down of the relationships so it can be angsty. Part 3 will be the last one in this short series. READ PART ONE
Series Masterlist
Warnings: sexism, unprotected sex, argumentative and rocky relationships, drug and alcohol use, break ups
WC: 16K
…. JANUARY 2024 ….
The holiday season had been interesting for you and Sebastian. You had gone over to his family’s for the festivities and it was interesting to say the least. You felt like you had transitioned into a weird dystopian dimension after that first dinner.
Seb’s mom wanted his first meal back to be his favorite home cooked meal, a green enchilada casserole; he had been talking about it since you’d left LA. So were excited to try it, so when dinner time came and his mom, Renee, started to serve up a plate of food, you followed suit and she gave you a knowing smile. It confused you but you finished up and followed after her to the table. When Seb glanced up at you with a smile your brows furrowed in confusion; you weren’t sure why Seb was just sitting at the table if he was so excited about this meal? But soon enough you were in front of your seat and set your plate down and then sat. You glanced up when you realized it had grown uncomfortably quiet and everyone was looking at you. When your eyes met Renee’s, she was frozen with the plate she had served her husband laid on the place mat before him. It was then that you noticed that this was not a self-serve situation, you were the only woman at the table and the ladies were serving their husbands before they could sit to eat.
You were mortified. You hadn’t grown up like that, your parents were very lax with gender expectations and roles, your mom wasn’t in charge of cooking and cleaning up after your dad. They were both working so much that they both did everything to keep the household running. Besides, you had never served Sebastian his food. You had cooked for him plenty of times and sure he never cleaned up after himself (unless asked), but he had always fixed his own plates so you had no idea why he would expect it now. It was even more awkward when his sister came in right behind you just moments later and placed a plate of food before him.
“Thanks, Amy.” He smiled and she nodded and looked at you briefly, you swore there was judgement in her eyes, and then everything picked back up again.
After, that it was just awkward and tense. Seb’s mom stepped up the babying for the rest of the trip. You were shocked the amount of work this woman did for her husband and Seb. You started doing the same to blend in, but it had been too late. Christmas Day at lunch, you were heading to the kitchen to offer your help with anything when you overheard his sisters and mother talking to maybe their aunts or other cousins saying how they had all been telling Seb how selfish you were and that you couldn’t take care of him how he needed. It was impressive that just from that one incident they had already discarded you and started shit talking you to Sebastian and others. You were glad when you finally got to leave and get back to LA, but it had been days now and you were still a bit in your head.
“Hey, babe.” Seb hummed as he came into your bedroom.
“Hi.” You offered a smile before glancing back down to your sudoku book. You felt the bed dip and glanced up to see him climbing onto the bed, heading over to your side.
“How was your day?” He asked.
“It was fine. Yours?” You asked as you put down a ‘9’ in it’s designed box.
“Finished another song today, think this will be the single. It has good energy.”
“That’s good.” You hummed as you glanced up at him and when he saw he had your undivided attention he got going. Sebastian started talking about all the things they’d done and how he got inspiration for new lyrics… He’d been talking at you for an hour already, it was nearly midnight and you were tired. Then, in the middle of his story you had the urge to yawn and you did. “Oh sorry, am I boring you?” He asked with irritation and you frowned.
“No, I just yawned. S’late. I was up at 5:30am for that stupid yoga class.” You explained to him and he frowned.
“You’re being weird.” He said.
“What?”
“Ever since we got back you’ve been off.” he said and you sighed. You supposed you should just get your concerns off your chest now.
“OK, so I ummm…I overheard your mom and sisters talking shit about me on Christmas.” You said and he frowned, “And I know they were talking about me to other people and to you.” You said.
“And?” He asked, “I mean, what did you expect after that first night?” He asked you.
“What’d you say when they talked to you about me after that?”
“Nothing…just heard ‘em out. It’s better to not argue with them about their opinions.”
“And is that…is that how you expect me to be?”
“Well, I get that’s not how you grew up. Trust me, meeting your family was a culture shock for me too. But we'll get there. With a little training.” He joked, but it was ill timed, “They know there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for me when we’re on more serious turf.” He assured you.
“Ummm…I don’t exactly know what you mean by that.” You said as you straightened up a bit and raised your glasses up to your head. You set your book down as well to really just ensure all of your senses were in tune as you had this conversation.
“I mean that once I move in here we’ll get you to a stage where you’ll feel more comfortable assuming the more traditional feminine role in the house.” He said and you were shocked to hear him say this.
“Traditional feminine- OK, I hope this is not what I’m thinking…”
“And what’s that?”
“You want me to wait on you like that? Like your mom and sisters?” 
“It’s called acts of service.” He countered.
“Babe, i-if I just sat here all day and did nothing outside of the house, then sure! I’d do work here. Your laundry and iron, clean up after you, and fucking spoon feed you if I wanted to. But you also forget one big thing, Seb. This is my house. My name alone is on the mortgage and every other expense. You should be cleaning up after yourself in my house, especially if you invite yourself over for days at a time!” You raised your voice in frustration. 
He looked so offended by what you’d said but this was something that had been frustrating you for quite a while now. Of course you wanted him over, but he just took over your space. He’d stay for days and disrupt everything, like sleep in later than you and not do the bed. Eat and pile up dishes in the sink, he’d leave his dirty laundry and towels on the ground, and he left cups everywhere! But what was most annoying was that he’d leave everything to you. And when you’d call him out on it he’d get it together for a couple days and then go back to his old ways. At first you thought it was just laziness but after spending 10 days with his family you saw that it wasn’t just laziness. Seb had an expectation that you’d soon be doting after him at all times and keeping a nice home for his comfort. He knew that if he’d left a mess you’d eventually grow tired of it and clean it up for him, which was true. But that didn’t mean you wouldn’t gripe about it, but he expected that to diminish and soon become extinct the longer you were together. That was concerning to you and you suddenly found yourself seeing him in a completely different light.
“Well, sorry for taking up your space.” He muttered bitterly as he rolled off the bed and made his way out of your bedroom. 
You didn’t stop him from going, you heard the front door lock and that was that. You hadn’t seen this type of attitude from him before, he had never shared those expectations with you before so you were quite shocked to hear him say that and you still hadn’t quite processed everything he’d said. You immediately called Caitlyn and told her all about your trip and now this.
“…Oh my god, so he’s a chauvinist!” Caitlyn gasped and you hummed.
“I just can’t believe this…I mean if this is really what he expects of me then I can’t be in  this relationship. Of course I believe in doing things, acts of service for your partner, but what he wants is a maid, mother, and lover wrapped up in one! No…just no.” you sighed.
“I agree. I mean, it’s good it’s only been a bit, yeah?”
“I guess so…” you sighed, “I just can’t believe this.” You muttered, your brain felt like it was about to overheat.
“I mean, he’s from a red state, friend. What did you expect?” Caitlyn said joking and then you both sputtered on a laugh. “So…what’re you thinking then?”
“I’m thinking that…” You sighed, “I saw how his mom was with his dad…I couldn’t live like that.” You explained. “I want to feel like I have a partner, not a boss at home. I can’t be with someone like that. I can’t.”
“Yeah.” Caitlyn said in understanding, “I mean, if that’s truly how he is then it’s for the best to just let this go.”
“Yeah, it wouldn’t end well.” You agreed “I think we both need to cool off a bit and then talk about it.” You said with a sigh and she agreed with you. 
You were in a shit mood now and had wandered into the kitchen to grab yourself a bottle of wine and some of those Trader Joes takis. You were soon back in bed and watching a movie as you got drunk and ate your chips. You had a moment of weakness…and against your better judgement you now went on instagram and searched up Harry. You just wanted to see him going about his day, you missed him and knew he’d be so supportive right now, even seeing his smile would be comforting enough. But what you saw coming up had your heart stirring with envy instead of a fuzzy and warm feeling. 
For the first time you felt entirely un-special to him. Just four years prior you’d been at the same fucking Anguillian resort frolicking about on the beaches, lazing around in cabanas, getting day drunk on fruity cocktails, and making love to your hearts content. But there he was again but with another person this time. Well, not just any person, his girlfriend, and it was making your blood boil. Was nothing sacred to this man? Did he have to recycle every single thing to lure another person in? 
And then you clicked on a post and decided to just see it all and you sighed as you looked through the images of him, so gorgeously tan and buff swimming in the ocean and the final image was of her getting her pictures taken on the sand while he enjoyed the warmth of the Caribbean Sea.
“She’s not even getting in the water with you?!” You nearly shouted at your phone, “What a fucking waste of a vacation!” You grumbled. “I would get in the water with you.” You mumbled drunkenly, “No, no…I did! We went there and I did get in the water with you, no one could get us out!” You said as your tears started to streak down your face, “And we did take pictures too, a lot of them. But we went to have fun, not just to take pictures at sunset like influencers who’d never been to a beach before…” you said bitterly and then frowned.
“OK, but she’s so pretty of course she’s having her fucking picture taken instead of getting in the water with you.” You sighed in defeat. “Also it’s her fucking vacation too, so she can do what she wants with her time…” you said to yourself, rationalizing her choices and deciding not to take out your frustration with Seb on her. “I’m not being a girl’s girl right now.” You scolded yourself for your harsh judgements. 
You didn’t even know each other so you had no idea how she was or what her intentions could be at all. But if Harry was with her then she had to be nice and sweet, something that you just weren’t any more. You weren’t being nice when you kissed Harry despite you both being in relationships. You weren’t nice or sweet when you blew up on Sebastian earlier and felt and thought bad things about his family. Instead you were full of spite and sadness. You felt stuck in a loop of negativity that would never end. You were lost, but you didn’t want to be. You wanted to be like you were when you were with Harry. Happy, confident, full of hope…you wanted that back. You were crying so hard and were so drunk after having half a bottle of wine that you just tuckered yourself out.
********
“Tempt fate with me, love. Just one more time.” You heard Harry’s voice purring lowly. You were covered in goosebumps as you nodded, noses nudging lightly.
“OK.” You agreed easily.
“Yeah?” He asked you, grinning wide.
“Yeah.” You agreed happily. 
And then your lips met eagerly with some lingering hesitation. But after your eyes met it completely disappeared and your lips were joining again. And then you were on his lap and his hands were fighting not to grab you in places he shouldn’t, but his resolve melted away quickly and was guiding you over his lap, letting you feel his evident need for you. 
Suddenly you glanced down at him and he was naked except his briefs and you were too, just your bra and panties, both of you impatient and fighting to not take it to the next level. You felt harry’s fingers gliding up your back, right up to the clasp of your bra but not daring to remove it, instead opting to just lose himself in your kisses.
“Just…mmm, wanna touch you, baby.” He whined into your lips.
“Then touch me.” You whispered back.
“Can I? Can I really?” He hummed and you nodded. He was quick to unclasp your bra and bring his hands forward to cup your breasts. When his kisses trailed down to your chest, you leaned back and let him lick at your nipple teasingly before just sucking your perked up little bud between his lips. You were getting so wet for him, grinding down harder and with more intent.
“Please…I need you. I’ve missed you.” You whimpered and he grinned up at you.
“I’ve missed you too. So fucking much.” He said quietly, “What if he comes home and-”
“Then we should be quick.” You panted and he nodded. Magically, his briefs were gone and he was guiding his hard, thick length to your entrance, holding it up so that you could sit over him and get him inside of you, “Can I?”
“Please. Yes, go.” He rushed out and you both moaned in ecstasy and relief at being connected this way once again. 
You rode him slowly, getting used to feeling him deep in your guts like this from how big he was. He was panting and kissing at your neck, his fingers gripping your ass tight as he helped you move over him in ways that were beneficial to the both of you. You picked up your pace then, needing to hurry things along and he groaned against your throat.
“Fuck Y/N, you’re so fucking good.” He mumbled, “Missed you…missed your body, s’my favorite body, baby.” He muttered as he sloppily kissed your neck, “Gonna make me come. But I want t’come inside, can I?”
“Har, I-I don’t know…” you winced as he held you down, his cock impaling deep inside of you. “What about your-”
“Forget everyone else.” He interrupted, “We’re here now, s’just us. It’s us.” He appealed as he started to thrust up.“Don’t tell me you don’t want it like that.” He said, “I know you, love. Know you better than you know yourself.” He mumbled and you choked on a moan as he started to rub your clit.
“Yes, yes please come inside me.” You begged, finally giving in to what it is you wanted.
“Yeah, you want it inside you, my sexy little slut?” He questioned and you moaned and confirmed.
“Yeah, of course you do. You’re a filthy fucking home wrecker, you know that?” He muttered and when you glanced down it wasn’t Harry anymore, it was Sebastian. “Gonna throw me away like that and go after him, aren’t you?” He asked and suddenly you felt stuck in a bad way.
“Please just…” your pleasure was fading fast. He wasn’t fucking you. He was actually fully dressed, just holding you still in his lap and you were stuck there. Still fully naked though, to signify your shame over lusting after Harry. 
“You’ve fucked it up with me and now you’re gonna go fuck up his life too. You selfish, greedy bitch.” He seethed with spite.
************
And that’s when you woke up and immediately started crying again. Already, your head was pounding with inhumane levels of pain from the wine you’d drank the night before. But also the shame you felt for your thoughts the night before…it was monumental and sitting on your chest heavily. You felt like you needed to apologize to them for it, that’s how guilty you felt. 
Obviously, you missed Harry. You hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him since you’d seen each other late last year. You hadn’t even spoken since! He hadn’t made any moves to rekindle the friendship between you as much as you had insisted that that’s what it was all about. Maybe he saw you and just got lost reminiscing the old days, but when he got back home to his girlfriend and his friends he realized that everything was exactly as it should’ve been. Maybe he needed to be with you to verify whether he was going down the right path now and clearly, he was. But you were just lost…so terribly lost.
************
It was a few days later when Sebastian finally came around to talk about your relationship and he was the one to hit you with the break up speech right off the bat. He made it seem like it was all your fault for not being more accommodating to his needs as a man. You had no idea what he meant by that, but you were in no condition or place to argue with him because you had wronged him. He did go off a bit about how he should’ve listened to his sisters and dumped you the moment you came back from their house. He was angry at you for not wanting to change or make compromises for him even though it was your job as the woman to look after him and your home and that’s when you lost your shit.
“THIS ISN’T YOUR HOME, SEBASTIAN!” You shouted with anger boiling over and he stopped talking, “It’s my fucking house! My house. I bought it with my money! I didn’t buy this house because I was planning a future in it with you! I just wanted a place of my own! That’s it! We weren’t even together when I got the house! What makes you feel like you have any sort of ownership over it or me?! You come here to do laundry and charge and wash your car, using my resources without ever even pitching in. You eat my food and use my AC in the summer-”
“Well you know I don’t have the same amenities at my apartment and-”
“Then tell your mom and dad to get you a better one!” You shouted and he frowned, “You’re spoiled and inconsiderate and completely helpless, Sebastian. I can’t be with a person who can’t hold their own or even bother to google what the symbols mean on the tags of your fucking clothes so that you don’t shrink them in the dryer!”
“Well you already know so I was calling you so that you could tell me-”
“I was busy with my fucking label rep! I couldn’t pick up the phone. But the fucking point is that, like you, at some point I didn’t know! I didn’t know a lot of things! So I had to grow the fuck up and figure them out for myself! And that’s the problem with you, you don’t try to figure things out, you don’t face any problems or obstacles, you just back yourself into a corner, telling yourself that you don’t know! You make everyone else jump in and sort things out the second an inconvenience arises for you.” He was pouting now. 
“Is that really how you see me? A spoiled man-child who can’t do things for themselves?”
“Yes.” You said and he chuckled.
“Who changed your tire when you got a flat? Who mows your fucking lawn when the landscapers can’t make it-”
“I can change a fucking tire, Seb! And I can mow a lawn! It’s not fucking rocket science! You insisted on doing those things for me because you said I “wouldn’t do them right”, don’t forget that detail.” You said and he shook his head.
“Well, no one ever wants to be with a know it all so…fuck you.” He said before leaving your house with a loud slam of the front door.
All you could feel was relief. It was like a weight had been lifted off of your shoulders and you just wanted to run. So you did, you called up Caitlyn and you drove down to the beach and just ran and ran along the shore until you were shivering from the cold and could hardly feel your nose and lips. You were panting, struggling to take in a nice deep breath as you guys dropped down into the sand. Caitlyn being in much better shape than you wasn’t nearly as winded.
“How much did we run? Like two miles?” You asked as you swallowed thickly and she laughed.
“Try a 3/4’s of a mile…maybe a full one.” She said and you groaned and just let yourself fall back into the sand and stared up at the sky, it was slowly growing darker. You could feel your legs tingling a bit from the constant running, and as you laid there, letting all of your feelings from the past few weeks process you stopped feeling cold. “Want some water?”
“You brought water?”
“Yeah, my camelback.” She said and took it off and handed it to you. You thanked her and sucked some out of the straw before handing it back. “You good?”
“I don’t know…” you said monotonously, “No, actually.”
“Mmmm, I have a joint?” She said and you chuckled.
“Light her up.” You mumbled and she smiled and did just that. 
Soon she was laying back as well as she handed you the joint while she blew out the hit she’d taken. You took your hit as well, holding just a little bit because you were so bad at smoking and it was also bad for you as a singer. You still choked on it and shot up, snatching the water from Caitlyn as she giggled at you.
“God…” you groaned before laying back down, “You know, I saw pictures of Harry on vacation with Taylor the other day…internet stalking is the fucking worst, you know that? Why would you want to do that to yourself?” You asked Caitlyn.
“Mmmm, so nothing catches you by surprise. Or at least that’s what I like about it. I mean, if it’s just speculation at least you have that possible scenario in your head and you can process it before it’s just shoved in your face randomly, you know?”
“Yeah, I guess…I was judging her for not swimming in the ocean with Harry.” You said and then started laughing, “I don’t know why that particular thing pissed me off so much!” You laughed and Caitlyn did too, “Like what’s so fucking special about swimming that just triggered me…so ridiculous.” You mumbled.
“Just a bit…” she said.
“I think I’m starting to realize that…nothing about us was really special. Like we did all the things they do now just in secret…it’s like…I’m watching my relationship with him being reenacted.” You said with welled up eyes, but you didn’t cry this time. “It’s…it’s so weird.” You hummed and then you were silent for a few minutes, passing the joint back and forth.
“Wanna hear a rumor I heard?” Caitlyn said and you turned to her in interest, “I heard from Mer that-”
“Mer Winston? You’re still friends?”
“Oh yeah, we talk all the time.” Caitlyn confirmed, “But she said that they got in a huge fight before Christmas, he came over and had this whole venting session with them over lunch one day. And she said that H had a lot of making up to do if he wanted to make it work with her.”
“I hope that wasn’t my fault.” You mumbled.
“Maybe he decided to tell her about meeting up with you.”
“Maybe…” you sighed, “We haven’t talked at all or anything like that. It was part of the deal. If things were meant to happen then they would.” You said and Caitlyn hummed. 
“Maybe it’s like an apology vacation…”
“Who knows, but like…they’re there now so whatever…”
“Harry’s a bit annoying though, isn’t he? Like clingy if I recall? Like lanky ass wrapped around you all the fucking time, no?” Caitlyn asked and you chuckled and nodded.
“Yeah, sounds about right…”
“Then why wasn’t he clinging to her? I saw the pictures too, by the way…” she added and you chuckled.
“Maybe he was? But he gets nervous when he knows people are watching.” You explained. “And besides, you should be the voice of reason here, not the conspiracy theorist!” You reprimanded and she chuckled as she handed you the last bit of the joint and you declined.
“Sorry, it’s the weed.” She said and you sighed.
“Well I’m not feeling shit.” You said, still completely sober.
“You’re not doing it right, s’why.” She laughed and you huffed.
“Damaging my lungs for nothing…” you muttered.
“I assure you with how shallow your inhales are that shit didn’t reach your lungs.” She cackled and she couldn’t stop from there. 
You walked back to where you parked with your arms linked together as you talked about other things. You were fine now, you just needed to get all the emotions out of your system. And well, just because your relationship had ended it didn’t mean that Harry was meant for you. Or you for him. All this meant was that Sebastian wasn’t right for you and you weren’t right for him. And as you walked along the shore you decided that you weren’t going to seek Harry out, you were going to forget about the little deal you made yourselves, that was just wishful thinking and you couldn’t set yourself up for disappointment like that. He was just so far away, it wasn’t cute, it wasn’t realistic, it was just sadistic and psychologically damaging. If you love someone you let them go. 
“I know this is so gross but I have to use the bathrooms here before they close.” Caitlyn said and you chuckled and nodded and she took off for the bathrooms. You just wandered back to the concrete wall that separated the pavement from the sand. The sun was just about to disappear and it felt so perfectly poetic. It was cathartic, thinking of him while the sun set second by second. And when the last little sliver started to fade you smiled and exhaled shakily before whispering.
“Bye, Harry.” 
*************
The news of your breakup with Sebastian had come swiftly to the public as the very next day Seb released a statement via an Instagram post asking for “privacy in this difficult time”. It was interesting to you because he was the one who did the dumping. But then the questions started pouring in from your manager and publicists and you confirmed that you’d broken up and explained why and they decided that they would not give him the satisfaction or even an acknowledgement with a confirmation to the media.
You did get papped outside of your preferred grocery store the week after he announced the break up and you believed it was to do with the fact that you nor your team had done a thing to acknowledge his announcement. You had a strict plan for grocery shopping as to prevent being papped or seen by too many people and the one person who knew that apart from Caitlyn was him. So it was about 9 at night and the paps were bombarding you with questions about this break up as you unloaded your groceries into the car and all you said was “Yep, Seb broke up with me.” with a bright smile. You wanted to give “Nicole Kidman divorced from psycho cult follower, Tom Cruise” vibes. You felt like you’d escaped a super shitty future. You were sure he could find someone who would happily be all the things he wanted them to be for him, but that’s certainly not what you wanted from a relationship. You did wish him well, but that was all there was to it.
Unfortunately for Sebastian, his plot with the paps backfired a bit. People were pointing out that you seemed happy and relieved about the breakup as you just carried on with life. And then that turned into speculations that he wrote that post on instagram for some compassion from the public since he had broken up with you. And yeah, that was all true, but you weren’t going to fuel the fire. The public could be your bestest friend of your greatest foe, so it was better not to try and involve the masses when possible. That’s something you had learned from Harry, regardless of whether things were good or bad, the public always had something to say and the best thing to do was not to give them any ammunition.  
*************
Harry’s POV:
Harry had heard about your break up through the grapevine and his first instinct was to check up on you. It’d been a few days and he was still teetering on the edge of whether he should or not, he’d have to go through some lengths to do so, but he wanted to. Admittedly, he was already on thin ice…
When he got back from LA he was just really in his head about everything and when Tay asked what was up he was honest with her. Except the kiss, he didn’t tell her about the kiss. But he shared with her that he asked to see you. He told her that he chose to stay longer in hopes to see you again. He was honest about why he didn’t want to tell her that he wanted to hang out with you. He was honest about how much shit it stirred up in him to have run into you. Obviously, she was pissed at him, even said it was probably over, he had never seen her angry before but it came at him strong and she was gone for a few days. That’s when he took advantage to talk about all this to someone else, so he made his way over for lunch with Ben and Meredith and told them all of it.
Once it was off his chest he reached out to fix things with his girlfriend. And while she agreed to work through this with him there had been a lot of conditions given until he regained the trust that he had broken. She wanted him to remove your number from his phone because as she’d put it, he had no business trying to talk to you while you were in a relationship and while he was in a relationship. He genuinely couldn’t argue with that logic so he did right there in her face so that she could see for herself. She also wanted to understand what it was about you that made him suddenly lose all his self control. And against his better judgment he told her about you and he saw for himself how the more he spoke, the bigger the hole he dug for himself. 
The holidays were a little weird, there was still some tension and it was good that she got to be around his family to distract a bit from all the hurt and anger that was still lingering beneath the surface. So when the new year came by he suggested they get out of town, have a nice little change of pace to start out their year together. And now here they were, he had just seen another post about you and Sebastian being over and he just needed to check.
“Mate, d-do you think you can reach out to Jen and get Y/N’s number?” Harry asked Tom quietly.
“Jen?”
“Yeah, Jen Lockley, her manager.” He said and Tommy sighed.
“I know that I work for you, but this is stupid, H. Is this really something you want to be doing? Especially with the situation you’re in right now.” He admonished.
“Look, her boyfriend just broke up with her, I just want to make sure she’s OK.” He explained and Tommy sighed and pulled out his phone and was typing something up before handing his phone over. It was a video of you getting papped, smiling bright as you confirmed the break up.
“She’s fine.” He assured.
“OK.” He sighed.
“Why is she so happy about it?” Tommy asked.
“I don’t know…maybe if I talked to her I’d know.”
“So this has nothing to do with you?” He asked.
“No! I just came and asked you for her number! If that’s not an act of desperation, I don’t know what is…”
“So what are you trying to do here? Are you not as happy as you let on or what?”
“I am, I just…I miss her. She was my best friend, you know? I was rocked when I saw her. I didn’t expect to feel as much as I did. I couldn’t help that, running into her was out my control.” He explained
“Yeah, I get that. But look, you’ve got someone really great right in front of you.”
“I know that…s’just, different. She’s a different person.” Harry said, “Which is great, it’s just…different.” He said again.
“Was that relationship the one that like…changed everything?” He asked and Harry nodded. Tommy had been working with Jeffrey for a while, but he and Harry only started getting close after Jeffrey and Glenne got married, he wasn’t with you by then anymore. So he hadn’t really seen your relationship like everyone else had.
“Yeah. I wanted to marry her. Have a baby with her, everything. We met when I was still in the band, she’s was there for the whole transition out of it, she helped me with my songs for my first album…we grew up together, you know? Challenged each other, encouraged each other.”
“And you ended it because?”
“We were both way too busy, we hardly had time to see each other during the last 2 years we were togther. We were doing extreme things just to have a weekend together, you know? It was draining and exhausting for the both of us so ummm…we just decided to end it.”
“Well, regardless of how you feel now, it’s over H. I just don’t want you to…to look past what you have now just because you’re clinging to the past.”
“Well what if she’s in my future?” He asked and Tommy sighed.
“If that’s really how you feel then what are you doing here with someone else? What’s the point? Just killing time until you can have the person you want?”
“It’s not like I don’t love Tay, I just…also love Y/N. I think I’ll always love her and I’ll always wonder about her. She’s the one that…got away, so it’s always going to be like this.”
“Does your girlfriend know that?”
“I think she’s starting to figure it out…” Harry sighed.
“Well if that’s how it is you still need to focus on the relationship you’re in now. You have nothing going on with Y/N, not even a friendship, so you need to be present. Turn a new page, like you promised.”
“I will. I will.” He repeated, almost as if trying to convince himself more than Tommy. 
Tommy could understand why it was hard for Harry to just move on when he felt like the person that was his person was slowly pulling further and further from his reach. He believed that you could be torn between two people, love more than one person at a time, but not everyone accepted that kind of love or relationship. He didn’t think Harry would start a full blown affair with you, but for some it was worse in a way, knowing that their partner felt love for them and someone else. It couldn’t be easy for Taylor to come to terms with that; especially if she wasn’t aware that Harry even had the ability to love this way. Or that there was someone who had the ability to affect him that much that wasn’t her.
“I know this is fucking unfair of me but I really just have no control over these feelings, mate. I saw her again and it hit me like a fucking train that I love her, you know? It’s weird for me too to suddenly have all these different feelings for someone else when I thought I had moved on; it was unexpected. I even…love her in a different way than I do Taylor.” Harry explained with a furrowed brow.
“Well don’t say that to her. Ever.” Tommy advised.
“Well, I just think she’s understanding this all wrong…like she thinks that seeing Y/N raised up some conflict or doubts in me about our relationship. That I’m “torn” between options and it’s not that at all. I enjoy our relationship and I love being with her, so much, but it’s not what Y/N and I had. So I’m not looking for that in Tay nor am I comparing her to Y/N at all. Like I love Taylor for Taylor and what she does for me and how we function together. But I also love Y/N for all of what we had and all that we could possibly be. It’s completely separate…she’s still on this “emotional cheating” argument, which I get what she means. But it’s not like I’m looking for something she’s lacking, you know? I’m not even looking for anything else with anyone else. It’s just feelings.”
“Love is a big feeling, H.” Tommy said. “It’s getting messy.”
“I know and like…she just wants me to let it go and move on which is impossible. I can’t just stop loving Y/N on command, you know? If it’s going to happen it’s going to take a lot of time. I mean, I thought I was past all this until we were face to face. Who’s to say that won’t happen again 10 years from now or something?”
“Yeah, I see your dilemma.” Tommy hummed. “I mean, the fact that you deleted her number should be a good start for Tay. Show her that you’re willing to just focus on you two.”
“Yeah…”
“I mean, you get why you guys can’t even be friends, right?”
“Of course, I do. It just…it sucks.” He sighed.
************
Harry didn’t think Taylor would be keeping an eye out for you after he deleted your number, but she was. And it was late and he was tired and a little sunburnt and he just wanted to plop into bed after his cold shower, but the concerned look on her face made him realize that something was about to go down that would prevent him from resting as he hoped.
“What’s the matter, love?” He asked right away instead of waiting for her to get around to stating the problem.
“She broke up with him.” She said to him with a slightly nervous tone.
“Who broke up with who?” He asked, playing dumb.
“Y/N, with Sebastian. My friend just send this to me.” She said turning her phone to him as he came over to the bed. It was a tabloid cover with the news.
“Well good for her, he was kind of a prick.” Harry said as he climbed in.
“So you’re happy about this?”
“If she’s happy about it then yeah. And again, I’m not his biggest fan, so why wouldn’t I be?” He questioned.
“I’m sure she’s doing it for you.” She said with a slightly accusatory tone, “Does that make you happy too?” She asked him, challenging him. Harry sighed and rolled his eyes.
“She’s not doing it for me. When we talked she was telling me that they were having some issues that she was having a hard time getting past. Seems like it was coming. Maybe they both reached their breaking points.” He reasoned. But the thought did cross his mind, was she sending him a sign?
“Harry, I hate feeling this way…” she said, “This isn’t me.” She shook her head, “You know this isn’t me. But I feel…like we’re up in the air.” She repeated and he sighed.
“I’m sorry.” All he could really do was apologize. “You have no reason to feel that way though, babe. I’m not looking for anything with Y/N, love. When I said I still have feelings for her, it’s just that, they’re feelings. But we’re not gonna talk, I’m never gonna see her again-”
“You don’t know that, Harry.” She interrupted.
“Well, not on purpose, I won’t, not if you don’t want me to.” He said and she sighed.
“My whole point is that I shouldn’t have to put restrictions on you, like a child! I should be able to trust that you won’t hurt me.”
“Then trust me. I’m not going to do anything with this.” He assured and she pouted.
“What if you never stop loving her?” She asked him and he sighed.
“Babe, I don’t know…”
“Well what then? I just have to live in her shadow for however long we’re together? What if that’s my whole life?” She asked with a frown and he was getting a bit frustrated that people weren’t understanding that this wasn’t a competition for him.
“Babe, it’s not like that…you’re not in her shadow because you’re never going to be her!” He groaned and she frowned, “Let me finish.You’re not Y/N and Y/N’s not ever going to be you. It’s not a competition…I don’t want you to give me what I had with her. I like what we have now. I’m not comparing, I’m not trying to get pieces of that relationship back through you. They’re two mutually exclusive things! If I continue to be here for you how you need, and I’m faithful, and supportive, and am fulfilling all of those duties we talked about… how do my feelings for her impact us?” He asked.
“See, to me that feels like a cop out.” She said and Harry sighed.
“How?! How on earth?”
“Because you can continue loving her for the rest of your life if you want under this mentality you have! What if loving her from afar stops being enough? I don’t want to share you with someone else! That’s not what I signed up for.”
“You’re not sharing me with anyone!” He groaned.
“See that’s what you’re not getting, Harry. I know you feel you’re not and you can even make the distinction, but I can’t do that, H. I don’t function that way. How do I know that one day your mind won’t change and you’ll want to be with her instead of me since you’ve kept this channel open?” She asked.
“My feelings for you can start to change at any given moment for any number of reasons that are completely unrelated to Y/N, so-”
“You’re a dick.” She said and got out of bed and just locked herself in the bathroom. 
He tried to explain what it was he was trying to convey but Tommy was right, this was getting messy. She said she’d only come out when he was out of the bedroom so he made his way to the general area of the large condo style suite they’d rented out at the resort and just laid on the couch. If there was an off-switch to loving you, Harry would’ve made use of it ages ago. It wasn’t easy to love someone who life kept pushing out of your reach. He just loved you 
from afar, he reckons he always would.
…. February 2024 ….
You were at your wits end with Sebastian. It took him about a month of you two being broken up before he started trying to spark things up between the two of you again. You wanted to believe it was because he’s considered his antiquated (in your opinion) expectations of you, but your gut told you it had more to do with the fact that you were what gave him more exposure. You hadn’t really run into him anywhere during awards season or even any parties, though he had been persistent to talk to you. You’d declined and rejected him so many times, yet once again, you got home from the studio to see your assistant had left yet another fresh bouquet of roses on the console table you had by the door. You sighed and grabbed the little card that was tucked in among the greenery.
Thinking of you today, Y/N. I hope we can talk or see each other soon. I’ll be waiting.
- XO, Seb
You sighed as you picked out the little card and crumbled it in your hand. Now you had a dozen red roses you had no use for. It irked you quite a bit, like everything was though as of late. This foulness of your mood was brought on by the visit of a mutual friend a few weeks prior. They were based in London though, so you hadn’t seen each other face to face in at least three year. But when you met up, they talked about your old circle in London, and obviously that led to the mentioning of Harry and how happy he was with Taylor. They said that the pair had been traveling together a lot, and just really immersing themselves in what they had going on. Hearing that solidified your decision to just steer clear of anything that had to do with Harry. Especially if he was really focused on making things work in his current relationship, as he should! But this also reminded you that you really needed to move on and not just say you would, like you often did. You slipped out of your loafers and migrated to the kitchen to figure out your dinner when your phone started ringing and you glanced down to see it was one of the guys from the studio.
“Hey Ricky, what’s up?” You asked with some pep.
“Hey Y/N, it’s going good. We’re almost done with the single. Ummm, I was actually calling about something else though. You know how my younger sister’s in a band?” He asked.
“Yeah…” you said as you opened up your fridge.
“So they’re doing this charity concert to raise money for an emergency student fund for students in financial need at UCSD. She asked me to run the sound system and if I could rope in any friends to volunteer for the main performance last minute? They’ve got a few local bands and singers lined up and them plus a surprise guest is what they hoped. But the surprise guest decided to drop out since they weren’t going to be paid.”
“What an ass.”
“I know, they knew about it too! It’s for charity!” He said, “Obviously, they’re at a loss and don’t want the event to flop. I told my sister she had one favor a year and she called it. So I was wondering if-”
“Oh my god, you don’t even have to ask. It’s for a good cause! When is it?” You asked.
“It’s going to be on March 9th, it’s a Saturday, at the SDSU amphitheater.” He shared and she pulled her phone away to put him on speaker and look at her calendar.
“Ummm, I don’t believe I have anything lined up for that weekend…yeah, no. I’m all clear so I can definitely participate.” You assured.
“Seriously?!” Ricky asked in disbelief, “Like they can’t pay anything though. The school pitched in for some thank you gifts, that’s all.” He said and you chuckled.
“No problem. I would love to help out.”
“You’re a saint! Let me text you her information so that you can reach out to her and get the lowdown on all this.”
“Sounds good.”
“Thank you, Y/N. Seriously, thank you so much! You’re the tenth person I’ve called.” Ricky confessed.
“Ummm?” You exclaimed, face twisted in full offense, “I’m offended that I’m the tenth choice.” You chuckled, “Unless you were like calling in personal favors from like Lana or Rihanna.” You added and he chuckled.
“No…I just know you’ve been going through a bit emotionally lately, so I didn’t want to rope you into anything last minute and burden you with anything else.” He explained.
“Oh, I’m up for anything that involves singing.” You assured him and he chuckled.
“Well thank you, she’s going to be so happy about this. She’s kind of a fan…” Ricky sighed in relief and you chuckled.
“Anytime. See you tomorrow?”
“Yep. Have a good night.”
“I will. And Ricky, don’t stay too late, please.” You said and he chuckled.
“I’ll try…” he mumbled and you both chuckled before hanging up.  
…. MARCH 2024 ….
Time had flown by and you had rehearsed with Alondra, Ricky’s sister, and her band the weekend before the show. You’d actually spent the weekend with them, at Marisol, their drummer’s house. You’d all slept over and they took you around to some of the low-key spots in the area. You really enjoyed spending the weekend with them, Marisol’s parents were so sweet and hospitable. But on Sunday afternoon you moved to an AirBnB that was closer to the campus and would provide you all plenty of space and privacy to rehearse later in the week. Ricky drove up on Tuesday night with Caitlyn and Melissa to stay with you for the rest of the time as well.
On Friday night you were doing your rehearsal/soundcheck at the amphitheater right before the city’s noise curfew. This was because there weren’t as many people on campus around at that hour and a larger area had already been blocked off from public access for the event. So thankfully you guys finished that quite fast and Ricky had all your settings down for the following day.
“You guys sounded so good.” Ricky assured as his arm draped around Alondra’s shoulder as you guys rallied up on the now cleared stage.
“Yeah?” She asked and he nodded with pride.
“OK, so are we getting drinks or what?” Their keyboard player, Pablo interrupted, “I need something to distract me, please.” He mumbled and you frowned, you had no idea what was wrong, but going out to get shit faced before a gig day was a poor idea.
“Well in the interest of ensuring you don’t feel like shit tomorrow, we can go to the house? We have a pool and hot tub, and I know Caitlyn has weed on her, and we can get drinks and order food?” You suggested.
“You’re really just giving away your friend’s weed?” Pablo chuckled.
“I can get her more.” You chuckled, “What do you guys say?” You wanted to ensure that whatever had Pablo so worked up didn’t make him lose control.
“I like it, let’s do it.” Alondra said and with that you were making your way over to the AirBnB. 
After making your purchases and just ordering some pizza’s you guys were all hanging out in the patio enjoying the refreshing breeze of the night. Pablo was definitely a little crossed and looking quite bummed out. You wanted to ask him what was wrong, but didn’t want to seem nosy. So you headed inside to find Alondra, she had gone in to get herself some water.
“Hey, what’s wrong with Pablo?” You asked as you came into the kitchen.
“Oh, he found out that his ex-girlfriend is now dating one of the guys from another band that will be playing tomorrow, he saw her name on their guest list. They haven’t seen each other since the break up which actually was maybe a year ago. It was just a really sad time for him.” She explained quietly.
“Oh…yeah, running into an ex can be weird after so long.” You shared from personal experience.
“Yeah, they’d been together since high school, so I think the relationship had just run its course and she knew it, but he didn’t see it like that. He talked about marrying her and having kids with her all the time and she’s so sweet, but he was just really giving up on everything else to stay with her and she didn’t want that for him, so she ended it before he sacrificed too much, you know?”
“Yeah, I know how that is…” you assured. And suddenly you heard a familiar song play loudly from the outside…
“No hard feelings honey
There’ll be no bad blood
Losing your love has been hard enough
Life can be short, but life can be sweet
No hard feelings honey, the next time we meet”
Your heart shriveled in your chest because this song had been played a lot by you. The single had come out maybe a month or two after you and Harry ended things. You’d cried so much to this song, it still made you feel things, clearly. You were pulled from your thoughts when you heard Pablo and Caitlyn all singing along loudly and you and Alondra rushed outside as Ricky smiled at you guys. Pablo was sandwiched between Caitlyn and Jesse, the bassist, as a few tears streamed down his face as he sang the lyrics to “No Hard Feelings”.
“We need to add this to the set list…please!” He sniffled as he stopped singing along, “I learned how to play it a bit ago. Please….” He begged Alondra with tearful, puppy dog eyes.
“I mean, w-we can, but I actually don’t know this song, I don’t think I can get it down by tomorrow.” She explained. Pablo was not a singer, he hated it, so he glanced to Marisol who also was not all that confident in learning the song right now for a performance the next day.
“Y/N?” He turned to you, “Do you know it?” He asked you.
“She does!” Caitlyn cut in, “Sing it with him!” She pouted at you and you glanced to Pablo who looked so hopeful now and you forced a smile.
“I do. I also know the bass part.” You shared and he smiled.
“I just want her to know that I’m glad she’s happy. It hurts, but I’m so happy for her.” He said and everyone hummed in understanding and then Caitlyn’s eyes glanced to yours as you swallowed thickly. ‘SORRY’ she mouthed to you when she realized what she’d done and you just smiled at her to assure her it was fine. Even if it wasn’t, it had to be fine.
The next morning Pablo was up with you, earlier than everyone else, and with some coffee in your hands you got to figuring out an arrangement. Luckily, Ricky had brought along a guitar, bass, and travel sized amp for the work you’d be doing during the week and so you practiced on that. There was a piano in the house, so Pablo practiced on that for now. You were both so familiar with the song that it was so fast to get an arrangement set and for your guys to get it down. You had agreed on starting out the first verse/chorus with the keyboard like in the lullaby version and then you’d come in with the bass and transition into the regular studio version. You went over it a handful of times before deciding that it was perfect.
And so far, it was going perfect, the concert was sold out and the bands were doing great. People were singing along and having a nice time. You didn’t get nervous so much anymore, but it nearing the end of the show and you were waiting back stage to have Alondra call you out to play alone with Pablo.
“Thank you everyone.” Alondra spoke into the mic, “Before we wrap it up, we have just a couple more songs for you guys.” she said and the crowd cheered, “Thanks, you guys are great. Now, we’re going to bring Y/N out one more time for a special song with Pablo.” and upon mentioning your name the crowd started to cheer louder, “We hope you like this one.” She smiled and moved away from the mic. 
Jesse took off his bass and handed it to you. You got it on as you walked further onto the stage. You smiled as you got it in a comfortable position  and glanced to Pablo who nodded that he was ready to go. You felt your stomach swirling with nerves and nostalgia, but you had to use that to push forward. You let out a long exhale as you gave the bass a couple plucks to test the volume in your earpiece and when that was good you walked up to mic properly.
“Please be gentle with this one.” You said softly and then glanced back to Pablo and gave him one more nod as you inhaled and started to sing.
You faintly heard some gasps and coos when people recognized what you were singing before everyone fell mostly silent and just listened. The entire amphitheater started to light up with flashlights from people’s phones, making the moment feel magical as well as solemn as you sang through the first two verses. When you got to the instrumental you angled yourself towards Pablo to be able to see his cues. You then turned back to the mic as you guys got ready for the final verse, you eased out of playing the bass and went back to just Pablo playing the keyboard, letting his final note resonate as you took a deep breath as you leaned into the mic. And when your eyes shut gently to envision the words Harry’s face appeared and you knew your facade would crumble.
“The threads that kept us together were already wearing thin…” your voice faded into breathy whisper as a huge knot formed in your throat. Pablo noticed and you swallowed thickly and he slowed his tempo to let you get to the next part, “Would we ever have tied the knot? Well how long is a piece of string?” You sang sweetly as your tears started to silently streak down your face. “And for everything that ends, something else must begin…” Your voice cracked as you inhaled shakily to finish the song. The crowd cheered you on, giving you the courage to finish the song, “No hard feelings, honey. And we both will take the win.” You finished softly and you quickly turned away from the mic as a sob escaped you. The audience was so kind and generous with you two as an also crying Pablo came up and hugged you tight.
“You were so good…thank you for doing this for me.” He hummed before he let you go. Your hands squeezed his and you nodded and smiled at him before waving and walking off stage for the final time. You couldn’t even hear Alondra’s final thanks as you hurried down the steps to find a place to be alone and cry it out for just a bit before you had to face everyone again.
**************
You kind of felt like an idiot for agreeing to sing this song with Pablo over the weekend because the performance had gone viral overnight. Then, first thing Monday, the university’s media department posted a full length, HQ video of it. Obviously, the story was that you delivered such an emotional and beautiful performance because your break up with Sebastian was so fresh. A bunch of reporters and blogs had reached out for commentary and you had declined, of course. That didn’t stop Sebastian from reaching out several times trying to reconcile things between you two. It had all been turned into one big, chaotic, and raging dumpster fire.
Noticing the chaos that had ensued from his performance you were invited out to a wine bar with a couple friends just to loosen up. And on your way out you were swarmed by a small group of paparazzi, and as you tried to get through, one of the paps asked about how you were actually coping with the break up because you had seemed happy about it before. Then, another asked if the performance was for Sebastian. Maybe it was because you were a bit drunk, but you decided to give a response because you didn’t want to keep encouraging Seb.
“Look, that song is just special to me, it has been for years. And performing it kind of transported me back to that time of my life where it was my lifeline.” You explained, “There’s a lot of history with this song and a lot of feelings I had been holding in for a while came out during the performance, that’s all.” You explained, “I promise, I’m fine and everything’s good with the break up.” You assured before being tugged away by Ricky to his car as he muttered something about you not owning anyone any explanations.
****************
HARRY’S POV:
Harry was sure that everything had been going well between him and Taylor. He really had focused on her and on them and things had been going great. She had been back to her old self and then at some point over the weekend something shifted because she was a bit annoyed again and it only got worse during the week. Harry figured it was something personal because he was pretty sure that he had done nothing to illicit any type of irritation from her. But he could see she was having a hard time with not taking out any frustration on him so he decided to ask, just in case.
“Babe, is everything alright?” He asked as he strolled into the entertainment room, she’d been in there reading after dinner. When she glanced up he was met with an exasperated and somewhat angry expression and he wished he had left it alone, “Have I done something?” He followed up as he sat at the edge of cushion with her legs on it. “Please tell me if I have, I thought we were doing good.” He said as one of his hands smoothed up her ankle to her knee, this was to placate both him and her. He really needed to know because he felt like he was walking on eggshells the last few days.
“No, H. You’re…good. I’m sorry, I’m just really trying my best not to take my frustration out on you for something that I know isn’t really your issue-”
“OK, well what is it? Maybe I can help.” He offered.
“No, it’s super insignificant and stupid…”
“I think not if it has you in this state, babe.” He countered her logic. “C’mon, let me help you.” He insisted and she shook her head.
“Trust me, Harry, you don’t need to know about this.” She assured. That made him a bit annoyed because whether she meant to or not, she was being weird with him and he wanted it to stop.
“Well I think I do. You’re trying not to take it out on me but you’re still acting strange and  cold and are super irritable anyway so-”
“It’s freaking Y/N, OK!?” She finally said, voice raised and laced with irritation. Harry frowned and now his anger was aimed at you. Had you said something to Taylor? He couldn’t see a world in which you would, but maybe you had. And well whatever it was, it had to have been really personal for her to be reacting like this and being upset over it for days now.
“OK? Did she do or say something to you?” He asked and she sighed.
“No…not directly, but she…she’s doing a bad job at fixing that stunt she pulled over the weekend and-”
“What? What stunt?” He asked. He really had completely blocked out anything about you because he didn’t want to make Taylor feel like he was keeping tabs on you or his options open. So he truly had no idea what you had done or were up to recently.
“She sang at some college charity show and she sang this song…but she did it on purpose because the song’s about you! It’s a break up song about seeing your ex again!” She insisted. Harry’s curiosity was piqued. What song had you sang that she was so sure it was about him? 
“Maybe it was about her recent break up, babe.” He tried to think of anything else that would make her let this go and not worry about it so much.
“Not according to what she told the paparazzi yesterday.” She added and Harry sighed but couldn’t prevent the chuckle that slipped past his mouth.
“Oh my god, love…since when do we care about anything the paps have to say? Hmmm?” He asked and she sighed. 
“There’s video.” She informed. “I’ve seen it…multiple times, much to my misfortune” she shared and upon hearing this Harry felt defeat overcome him. He needed to choose his next words carefully, because it was something that might upset her further, but she needed to hear.
“Look, I know you have every right to be wary of this and even to doubt me, but babe, this has gone too far. Way too far.” Harry stated his concern and she sighed, the same defeated look over her face.
“I know, babe. I know it has.” She admitted.
“I just…I’m trying to understand it, babe.” He sighed with confusion, “All this time I’ve been putting all of my focus on us and improving our relationship, like I told you I would. And  honestly, t’s feeling like you hardly notice or care for it all because all you do is obsess over my ex!” He explained his feelings, evidently quite forlorn.
“The ex you still love, H.” She reminded him of that pertinent detail. Harry nodded in understanding and scoffed out a defeated laugh.
“Tay, I can’t do anything else to prove to you that I love you and am committed to you. I feel like I’m losing my mind trying to get you to just be here again. Please, just be here with me.” He beckoned she blinked rapidly as she drew her eyes up to the ceiling.
“I feel like I’m losing my mind too.” She confessed softly, “I promise I’m trying to move past this, H. I am. But honestly, I’m starting to think that maybe I just…can’t.” she confessed and he nodded silently. “I see the effort, babe. Thank you for it, I appreciate it, I promise you, I do.” She insisted, “I just…kind of wish you had never said anything to me about this…” she confessed. Harry was feeling that way too. He should’ve just made something up about why he was acting strange. 
“I think I’m just going t’go to bed. Sleep on it, hopefully wake up feeling a bit more optimistic about this than today.” She said and he nodded as she got up from he couch.
“I love you, sleep well.” He said. She leaned over him and kissed his forehead and gave him a smile before leaving him alone.
Harry felt super shit now. He had fucked up a catastrophic amount. He truly did regret being honest about the situation with you. He should’ve kept it to himself because now things were just getting weird. Sure, he was a bit annoyed with Taylor’s recent hobby of stalking you, but he couldn’t blame her or label her insane for it, he had done that to her. And for the first time he truly questioned what it was that he had gone and done with you. She didn’t deserve to doubt herself or their relationship like she was now. They were both having a miserable time and it was entirely his fault. He wasn’t sure what to do from here, he didn’t even know if there was anything he could do to help fix this.
*************
It took Harry a few days before he decided to look up the videos Taylor was talking about to see for himself why she was struggling so much to let this one go. But when he saw the video of you singing “No Hard Feelings” with so much emotion he knew it had nothing to do with Sebastian. He had to force down the growing lump in his throat and blink away the tears accumulating in his eyes, this felt like a goodbye from you almost and it confused him. The emotion was definitely tangible even weeks later though a screen, he could understand why it was haunting Taylor. And then he saw the pap video she mentioned, he couldn’t agree that what you had said was damning evidence, but if she felt that way, what could he do? He wasn’t going to tell her he watched them. They did make him want to call you though, but of course he’d leave it alone and decided against it, both for his and Taylor’s sake. 
Instead, he called Caitlyn, he needed to see what in the world you had been thinking when you decided to do that. He was genuinely curious. Of course, he first texted her to let her know he wanted to talk when she could. He didn’t want to just spring a call on her and risk you being there. And finally, the time they had agreed to talk had come and she was calling him. He strolled out to his back yard, taking advantage of the evening breeze while Taylor got ready. They were going to Mitch and Sarah’s place for dinner in a bit.
“Hey, Har!” Caitlyn greeted him energetically for her time of day.
“Hiya.” He greeted, “You sound chipper.”
“Just came in from a jazzercise class.” She explained and he chuckled.
“Oh shit, did it go well?”
“Yeah. It was really fun. How are you? How’s it going?”
“I’m alright, but it’s been a bit…tough.”
“Did something happen?”
“Well I told Taylor about seeing Y/N, so I’ve been making up for that…but I guess there was a show a couple weeks ago and she sang a song that has her a bit upset. She feels like Y/N did it on purpose I guess, to like…bait me in or something. And then she said some bit about it being important to her in the past and that’s kind of what…made Tay just lose it a bit.” He explained and Caitlyn hummed.
“Well, the song wasn’t to bait you, it’s kind of my fault she ended up singing it. The guy she played it with found out his ex was going to be at the show with someone else just the night before and he wanted to sing it for her. It was very last minute…she was the only one who knew the song well enough to pull it off with him the very next day. I volunteered her and put her in a difficult position where she couldn’t really decline…I knew she knew the song because she did listen to it a lot after…I didn’t know it would…affect her like that though.” She explained sadly, “I’m sorry it caused trouble for you, H.” Caitlyn apologized.
“It’s alright, Cait.” He assured. Now that he understood the context he felt relieved. He knew you weren’t a petty person like he could be, and he was a bit upset at himself for even considering that you would actually do something on purpose to bait him or cause turmoil in his relationship.
“I just feel awful…as you probably know now, she’s gone viral for it and it’s caused her some problems. It was such a vulnerable moment that she didn’t expect either so I know she hates that it’s kind of blown her up a bit.”
“I mean, she sounded incredible and it was just so sincere. Of course everyone’s obsessed with it.” He said with understanding.
“Yeah. She just feels really exposed, I think. And also, when she said that to the pap, about it being something form her past, she was super drunk. She called me the next morning asking if it sounded as awful as she felt it did, which I personally don’t think it did. But I mean, I could understand why Tay’s feeling upset about this.” Caitlyn said and Harry nodded.
“Yeah…I just don’t know what I can do to…fix this.”
“That bad?”
“Yeah…a few days ago she said that she wasn’t sure if she could get past all this. I don’t blame her…it’s a lot to get past.”
“Well what did you say to her when you told her about Y/N?”
“I…admitted that I still had feelings for her.” He sighed and Caitlyn did as well, “But like, I didn’t even know that for sure until she was right in my face. Like I knew I missed her, but just being with her again, it just brought everything that I’d been repressing up to the surface. I regret being honest with Tay, about it all.” He sighed, “She regrets it too apparently. Wishes I never said anything.” He added with defeat.
“Well it is quite a lot to get through. Especially if she knows you still have deep feelings for Y/N. It can be scary thinking that you’ve given your whole heart to someone only to discover that you’re not the only one they love.” She explained “She might feel like a place holder until you and Y/N can get back together.”
“Well she’s not. I love her too.”
“I know, but that just doesn’t work for some people, H. Maybe this is what’s supposed to happen.” Caitlyn said and he sighed.
“I never meant to hurt anyone like this…”
“Well, it’s collateral damage. There’s always going to be someone who gets hurt. S’why I was warning you guys to be careful with this.” She reminded and he hummed.
“Did she end things with Seb for me?” He asked after a beat of silence.
“No. They went to his family’s for the holidays and as it turns out they function under this idea that men’s love language is acts of service, as in, women should wait on us hand and foot while we sit around with our dicks in our hands…” she said with some disdain still feeling salty about the whole thing. 
“Get out…” he groaned with secondhand embarrassment for the male species as a whole.
“It was a whole thing…his sister’s and mom were talking shit about her for it after the first night. She knew he was babied by his mom, but not that she was like his fucking PA! Either way, when they got back they talked about it and he basically said that she’d ease into it and learn how to treat him and take a more feminine role in their home as their relationship advanced or some shit like that…and she was like “umm, you should be cleaning up after yourself because it’s actually my home”, and he got all sensitive about that, the fucking free loader…” Caitlyn said.
“God…good for her though. I’m glad she stuck up to him.”
“Yeah, and well, he actually broke up with her…she’s not upset about it or anything. Just more annoyed really as now he’s trying to win her back, but she’s just ignoring him.”
“Good. That’s good to hear. When I heard about the break up I wanted to reach out but I can’t.” He explained.
“Yeah, I’m glad you’re seeing that. Especially with the situation you’re in.”
“Well that, but like I literally cannot. Tay asked me to delete her contact in case I got tempted to reach out again and I did, so I don’t even have her number anymore.” Harry let out a breathy laugh and after a few moments he inhaled and started to cry. Caitlyn frowned and tutted as she heard him breaking down.
“Harry, hey…” she cooed, “What’s the matter?”
“Ugh…nothing. I think I’ve just been holding that in.” He sniffled, “I kind of hate myself for making Taylor go to these lengths…I know she hates doing that kind of stuff too. And Y/N…god, why is she always on my mind. I can’t shake her, Cait. I just can’t…if I could change my heart I would. I know that it’s hurting us more than helping us.” He sniffled.
“If it helps to know, I think she’s made peace with the fact that you’re with the best person for you.” She said and hearing that physically hurt him, it made his chest tighten up and feel hollow at the same time. “I know it hurts her sometimes but she’s genuinely really happy for you, H. She truly is. So give it your all, yeah? Make this right.” Caitlyn said and he sniffled.
“OK. Thanks, Cait.”
“Anytime, H.” She assured him.
“I know you’re best friends and all, but just keep this between us, yeah?”
“Of course.” She assured, “If there’s anything I can do at all just let me know, OK? Or just listen if you need it.”
“Thank you. Bye.”
“Bye.” She said and they hung up.
Harry felt like a full blown asshole. He had hurt the two people he was in love with and now he had to choose. He had hoped that things cleared up on their own, but they were as murky as ever. It shouldn’t be hard to just choose the person he was with, but it was. It felt like he was losing. Well, who was he kidding, he had already lost you.
…. MAY 2024 ….
It was the night of the MET and you had just finished getting your hair and make up done for one of the after party’s. Caitlyn was your +1 to the parties and was more than excited to be tagging along with you for her first ever met. You’d been invited before, when Harry hosted, but you just laid super low. You even left his after party early because you had a work event in LA the next morning. Being the man of the hour you didn’t really see much of him that entire night. You did kiss him goodbye, but he was balls to the walls high on you weren’t even sure what, and that was that. This time, you were invited without any internal connections, but you were sure it was because you were still riding on that viral wave. You weren’t going to go, you didn’t want to keep calling attention to yourself. But your manager and friends insisted that you needed this, just to have a fun night out without cameras. And well, that was true, there were never cameras at these things, just outside.
“You ready?” Caitlyn asked you as you looked over your reflection one more time.
“If they’re where we are, we’re leaving.” You said and Caitlyn nodded in agreement.
You had been strategic and decided to party hop to decrease the likelihood of you running in Harry and Taylor after learning that they were attending together. You were feeling good, you’d successfully made it through two of the three parties you had been invited to and having a blast. Normally, you’d be dying to get home, but you had taken some E as you were leaving the first party in hopes to have endurance for the next two parties. You felt floaty and happy and tingly under its influence. You could quite literally feel the music around you, the hard hits of the bass tickled from the soles of your feet and up your legs. You were surrounded by people, probably in a similar state as you, dancing through their highs with racing hearts. 
And through all the dancing and euphoria you were making out with someone. It was in a dark corner and you had no idea who it was. All you knew was that your mouths were moving together eagerly. Suddenly, you were being tugged away, much to your dismay, because it did feel very nice especially while you were under this high.
“Cait…” you huffed as she apologized to the person you were with as she dragged you away.
“I think it’s time to go.” She said against your ear as she chuckled and you mumbled something about not wanting to go yet. “Babe, I just saw Harry and Taylor across the bar. We should go.” She said to you and that made your heart tighten and ache. 
Your smile dropped and you glanced around the busy room. When you heard a British accent behind you, you whipped around hoping to see Harry, but it was someone else. Then, you thought you heard his laugh and you turned in another direction, but maybe it was just in your head. You were at the peak of your high, so things were very murky. And as you looked for Harry, that nice feeling was starting to turn ugly. Caitlyn realized what was happening and grabbed your face in her hands and your gaze met hers for a few seconds.
“Hey, they’re all the way across the room. They’re nowhere near here.” She assured and you nodded.
“I need to use the bathroom before we go.” You said and she nodded.
“OK, c’mon.” She said grabbing your hand and guiding you through the crowd and to the bathroom. “Give me your bag, I’ll call your car. I’ll be right over there by the security check.” She pointed and you nodded a few times as you handed over your purse.
You walked into the bathroom and the white lights over the sink were far too bright for your overly dilated pupils. You hurried into a stall and struggled a bit with getting your dress enough out of the way so you could use the bathroom. And as you sat in the stall alone with your thoughts you started to feel cold and trembly. Your ears were ringing in the relative silence of the bathroom and you felt like the stall was starting to get smaller. You sped things up and hurried out to wash your hands, trying your very hardest to ignore your erratic heartbeat and the churning of your stomach. You didn’t even bother with drying your hands, you just smeared them against your dress as you rushed out of the bathroom. You were ready to get out of this situation before it brought on a full blown bad trip. 
But you came to a screeching halt when you saw Harry chatting animately with Rita Ora and Taika Waititi just a few feet away from you. They were laughing, heads knocked back in enjoyment. You were frozen for a few seconds as reality caught up to you and you glanced around for Taylor. She wasn’t in your line of sight yet, you’d wait in the bathroom. You took a few unsteady steps back before deciding that was the best course of action. You twirled around and hurried back, your heart was hammering in your chest and your breathing was completely shallow. You felt your body trembling like a dying leaf in the wind and your stomach was twisting as you stumbled back into the bathroom. Much to your misfortunate, you were met with Taylor drying her hands. You sighed shakily, about to turn back around but she glanced over with a lovely smile, but when she realized it was you it dropped entirely from her face in a moment. You turned around to leave again but then remembered Harry was actually right outside.
“You were with him just now, weren’t you?” She asked you with a frown and disappointment drenching her tone.
You suddenly felt sick to your stomach and you whipped back around and rushed past her into a stall and just started to throw up. You felt completely overwhelmed and overstimulated. Feeling as much as you did now was not to your benefit. But you were more than grateful to hear her footsteps receding as you spat out the sour taste from your mouth. You wiped your mouth with some toilet paper and flushed away your mess, trying your best not to get sick again just from seeing the mess that had come out of you. You were alone now and took your time to rinse your mouth and your hands, hoping they’d go before you had to face them again.
***************
HARRY’S POV:
Harry glanced over to the hallway for the bathrooms to see Taylor coming out with an unreadable expression on her face. He was still smiling from the laugh he had just had with Rita and Taika before they headed out.
“You were with Y/N. Weren’t you?” She asked with an accusatory tone and he looked baffled by this accusation.
“Babe, no. I’ve been standing here this whole time-”
“Well then why did she get one look at me and get sick?” She asked with confusion and a frown on her face. Harry’s face scrunched with concern.
“I didn’t.” He said and she looked skeptical, “I swear!” He insisted and she rolled her lips together for a moment.
“I want to leave.” She said decisively and he nodded.
“OK.” He nodded, “I-is Y/N alright though? Does she need any help or-” Taylor walked off towards the exit leaving him mid sentence. He was reluctant as he followed after her and glanced back down the hallway of the bathroom before rushing after Taylor who was practically out the door now. He was making his way towards the exit when he saw Caitlyn standing by the door on her phone. Surely she’d come along with you. Taylor hurried outside and Harry stopped for a moment to greet Caitlyn.
“Cait!” He called her name and she glanced up and her eyes widened and she glanced around quickly before she smiled at him as he came up and hugged her.
“Hey! How are you?” She asked as they pulled away.
“M'alright. Ummm, Y/N had a run in with Tay in the bathroom.” He said and Caitlyn frowned.
“Oh, sorry.” She said glancing over to Taylor who was now looking at them expectantly. She offered a smile and Taylor returned it before quickly glancing down to her shoes.
“She said something about Y/N getting sick. Maybe you should go check on her if she hasn’t texted you.” He said.
“Oh shit, thank you. I actually have her phone with me, we’re waiting for her car.” She explained.
“Then yeah, please check on her.” He said and she nodded.
“Yeah, she’s pretty fucked up too. But ummm, is that why you guys are leaving?” She asked and he nodded.
“Tay thinks I spoke to her…which I didn’t. I didn’t even see her tonight, I swear it.” He said and she nodded.
“I know, Harry. I believe you.” She assured and he sighed.
“Thank you.” He said and she smiled at him with sympathy.
“Alright, now get going.”
“Please, make sure she’s OK.”
“I will.” Caitlyn smiled and they kissed cheeks before he hurried out. 
Taylor watched as Caitlyn hurried back inside and then turned into the hallway that led to the bathrooms. She swallowed thickly and hugged her arms around herself when Harry tried to grab her hand when he came up beside her.
“I didn’t speak to her, babe.” He insisted again with frustration. “Did she say something to you?”
“No.” She responded monotonously. “Just call the car, please.” She said and he nodded and did just that, “Five minutes.” He informed her once he hung up and she nodded. 
A few moments later Caitlyn was rushing you out of the venue, but even the chatter outside didn’t mask the sharp inhales of you trying to breathe through your crying. You two hurried past him and Taylor and into the car that was now waiting by the curb. She opened up the door for you and helped you get settled in the car. Harry found himself taking a few steps towards you but stopped himself. He wanted to see you, even if it was just for a second. But Caitlyn scooted in behind you and mouthed one final ‘thank you’ before shutting the door so that you could take off.
The car ride back to his hotel was tense and uncomfortably quiet. He genuinely didn’t think that Taylor had any reason to be upset tonight. This was a huge event, lots of people were bound to be there. And still, he hadn’t seen or even spoken to you once in the entire time. He didn’t think it was wrong that he was concerned for you when she told him that you’d gotten sick. He would’ve been concerned for anyone who was in that position, especially at a party like this where he knew there were drugs and alcohol around. He tried not to be upset at her though because he had no idea what was going on in her head that made her upset. 
When they got into their hotel room she immediately slipped out of her heels and headed into the bathroom. He heard the door shut and then the shower come on. He made his way over and listened through the wood to see if she was crying, but she wasn’t. At least there was that. Maybe she just needed to cool down from the situation because truly there was nothing that he did wrong. He debated for several minutes whether he should call Caitlyn to check on you or not. And who was he kidding, he needed to check in.
“Hey H.” She answered him right away, “Don’t you worry, she’s alright. She’s just having a shower now.” Is the first thing she said and he smiled a bit.
“Good. Nothing bad happened right? With Tay?”
“No. She said that when she was leaving the bathroom she walked out and saw you waiting in front of the hallway, so she hurried back into bathroom. Y/N didn’t want to stir up any trouble by saying hi or just being near you if Taylor was around. But when she came back into the bathroom, kind of in shock from seeing you right there, Taylor was there and she asked if you’d just been together, that’s all. And well, Y/N said she just felt trapped and got anxious from the fucking molly she took and just got sick. She was just crying because you know how much she hates throwing up. Not because you were with your girlfriend.” She assured him.
“Yeah.” He smiled as he recalled this detail about you, “The throwing up is probably why Taylor thinks we spoke. Just from her reaction to the question, I guess.”
“Maybe so…but in all honesty, we party hopped all night because we were trying to avoid you. And when I saw you guys when I went to the bar I told Y/N we needed to leave.”
“Oh…” he said with some hurt radiating through his chest.
“Yeah…S’just that after we spoke last time I just didn’t want to give her any reasons to doubt you or to think Y/N was meddling or something. Obviously, Y/N doesn’t want to ignore you, but she also doesn’t want to complicate things for you. But…”
“Shit happens.” Harry sighed.
“Yeah.” 
“Well, I’m glad she’s fine. She’s coming down alright?”
“Yeah, she’s good so far. I’ll take good care of her.” Caitlyn assured him. 
“I know you will.” He smiled.
“And are you alright?” She asked him.
“I think so…we haven’t spoken about it yet, so we’ll see. I just- I don’t want you guys to think Taylor’s a bad person for this. She’s not usually like this.” He explained.
“We don’t, H. She’s just navigating this situation the way it comes, you know? She has every right to feel apprehensive.”
“Yeah. Thank you for understanding.” he sighed.
“Of course.” She responded.
“Well thanks for answering, I just want to check in. And I’m sorry if we ruined your evening…” he apologized with a regretful sigh.
“Who are you talking to?” Harry heard from behind him and he glanced back to see Taylor wrapped up in her towel.
“My friend Caitlyn.” He said and she looked skeptical.
“It’s cool, H. Go deal with that.”
“Thanks. Good night.” Harry said before hanging up. He stood and then handed his phone over to her to see the call history. “See.”
“But Y/N is with her.”
“She was in the shower.” He said and she bit her lip, “I didn’t talk to her. I didn’t even see her until they walked out, babe.” He said.
“And why are you apologizing for ruining their evening? Now we have to walk on egg shells to protect her feelings?” She asked him and he sighed.
“No, I’m apologizing for that because they had been party hopping all night precisely to avoid running into us and causing you to think something was up.” He said signaling between them and she frowned.
“Is that how you’re telling it to people? That I’m just angry about your ex?” She asked him.
“No! I mentioned to Caitlyn the thing that you told me before about the song and the paps. I just needed to be sure that Y/N wasn’t trying to get a reaction of me or you. I know she’s not like that, but when people are upset they can sometimes do things that are out of character.” He said looking to her, hoping she’d catch his drift. She scoffed out a laugh and headed back into the bedroom. “Babe…” he sighed as he sat on the bed as she dug her pajamas out in silence. “Did you confront her about being with me tonight?” He asked her.
“I’m not going to feel bad for that, Harry. I wasn’t rude about it, I just asked.”
“I’m sure you weren’t but-”
“She was probably going to though-”
“For fucks sake! She was running back into the bathroom to avoid having to run into me!” He shouted, “She saw me and decided to wait in there until I was gone. She’s the one walking on fucking egg shells as if she’s the one driving the wedge deeper and deeper into our relationship!” 
“So you’re saying this is my fault?” She asked him with a confused frown and he sighed.
“Tonight, yes.” He said. “I have…done what I can. Everything you’ve asked to try and make this work, to make it better. To have you believe me-”
“Harry, she’s still in love with you!” She shouted in exasperation.
“And what?! She’s happy for me! She’s happy for us! She didn’t delete my number and hasn’t reached out at all! Look at the fucking lengths she tried to go through tonight just to ensure that we weren’t uncomfortable! For fucks sake, just let it go! Please!” He was panting from how frustrated he was. He swore that smoke was blowing out of his ears as all of his pent up frustration reached its boiling point. He felt that he had been as understanding and as patient as possible, but it had been months of the same thing. She bit down on the inside of her cheek for a few moments. “I’m sorry for shouting at-”
“I think we both know that this has been over.” She said softly and his chest tightened. “I don’t like myself anymore.” She said with a frown, “I hate feeling insecure in us or just like I’m second best.” She sniffled. “I know you’ve never said that to me but just the fact that your heart’s in two different places makes me feel that way. Believe me, I have been trying to not let it bother me or just to understand how this can work for you, but I can’t.” She explained.
“I’m so sorry.” He apologized and she shrugged. “I never meant to make you feel that way. I just…I wanted to be honest with you, I felt bad for keeping that from you-”
“I know. I think you did the right thing in telling me but…I just, I can’t make peace with that.” 
“I get it. I do love you, though. You have to know that.”
“Yeah. But not like you love her.” She said and he sighed, “Babe, if you loved me like you love her then keeping your distance wouldn’t feel like a sacrifice to you. And clearly that’s how you see it. Even now, instead of checking on me you called your friend to check on her? I mean…” she let out a sardonic laugh.
“It wasn’t that I didn’t want to check on you, I just figured you wanted some space.” He explained.
“So you check on me and ask if I need space, H.” She argued and he swallowed thickly and nodded.
“You’re right.” He said.
“H, I can’t keep doing this to myself. I can’t even recognize myself.” She said with a frown, “Like I…I feel like I’m losing myself in trying to keep you and I’m not okay with that. I’m sorry.” She sniffled and he nodded.
“Don’t be sorry. I get it. It’s my fault.” He said with a sad smile.
“Yeah.” She whispered and bit down on her lip. "No hard feelings?" she asked and he shook his head.
"Of course not." he smiled.
If you enjoyed this feel free to check out some of my other fics...
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chaoticloving · 1 year
Text
new years, new family
harry styles x reader (SOH masterlist)
summary: y/n meets anne and gemma for the first time, and harry's just happy. || w/c: 2.2k
a/n: felt i should post a bit more before im back to class, enjoy and have a good new year!
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Anne was an amazing mother. She was kind, empathetic, and had the strong will that helped her do what was right. Harry loved his mum too. Despite all the arguments and the fame, he has always had faith in her. He truly felt the love and comfort that a mother should give any child—and he still does to this day as an adult.
Anne prided on being someone her kids could go too if they needed an ear and always gave her kids space, but that didn’t stop her from being curious about their lives. She would sometimes sneak in a “do you like someone” or “when do you think you’ll have kids” every now and then, but they knew she just had their best interest at heart.
Anne was very careful about what she asked Harry though, not to say that she would be blunt with Gemma, but there were certain questions that would sound too much like a TMZ journalist asking questions. So, Anne would turn to Gemma to maybe slip some detail about Harry’s life.
The last time Gemma came around her mothers though, she did tell Anne that Harry’s got a crush that sort-of, maybe, turned into his girlfriend. “But don’t quote me on this. I don’t know for sure.” Gemma reminded her mother.
But Anne was bubbling with excitement. She knew the girlfriend in question is Y/n, the women Harry might of suitably alluded to having a crush on, and she couldn’t be more excited for her boy. She reminded herself though that she can’t be too pushy, but she can watch the young actresses movies.
After just under six months of dating, Harry decides he wants to tell his family.
“I know my mum won’t tell and Gemma will just make fun of me, I just don’t like keeping you a secret from everybody important in my life.” Harry confessed, kissing his lovers face all over as a way to win her over.
Y/n had a habit of overthinking, but seeing her boyfriends puppy dog eyes she just couldn’t say no.
“I believe you.” She kissed him back. “Just don’t embarrass me when you tell them.”
The next morning Harry was practically jumping from excitement, yet feeling like he needed the bathroom every five seconds from nerves. Harry knew his family wouldn’t hate Y/n or everything of the sort. It was just the fact they would be one of the first to know and their secret relationship wouldn’t be a secret anymore. He knew Y/n wasn’t just in it because of the the secrecy, but the fact still didn’t make him feel any better.
Harry powered through, and made the call.
The line rang a couple times before the cheery voice of Anne rang through. “Hi Honey, so good to hear from you!”
Harry laughed, walking around his London flat aimlessly. “It’s nice to talk to you too. Been feelin’ so busy from work that I think I’ll go crazy.”
“Oh no, well remember to take breaks and focus on you.” Anne thought this was her chance. “Do you have someone you can talk to or someone you feel comfortable with? Go out with them and forget about work.”
Harry blushed, he was in the kitchen and he could see the back of y/n. He thinks she is getting her morning coffee all ready as well as a cup for him.
“Yeah, actually, I’ve met someone.”
The pure joy running through Anne's body was something she last felt when Gemma told her about her last boyfriend.
"And is it who I think it is?"
"Have you been talkin' to Gemma recently?" Harry ask, false annoyance slipped through his voice. "But uh-" He cleared his throat. "Yeah, I think so. "
Anne practically screamed through the phone, excitement radiating though.
"But we are talking about Y/n, right?"
"Yes! Yes, oh my goodness, you finally are together! You two look so adorable together and I know to never buy into something TMZ or Daily Mail says but I saw your little photo and then when Gemma finally told me that you told her that you were talking to Y/n I started watching all of her movies so far and she is very talented, although, i have to admit, when she kissed that other boy in the movie I kept thinking how you would been feeling and--"
A couple seconds into her rant, Harry put Anne on speaker phone and was suffering from the adrenaline rushing though him. He was coming down from the high of fear and going into a tired yet happy state.
Y/n handed Harry a cup of coffee, half cream with a ton of sugar added in, then sat down next to him with her own coffee in hand. Y/n was trying to hide her smile through a look of embarrassment, but the actress couldn't quite hide her emotions from Harry.
Harry nudged Y/n, a smile on his rosey face. They look at each other with such adoration that it was sickening to anyone single.
"Harry? Harry, you still there?" Anne's voice snapped Harry from Y/n's trance on him.
"Yeah, I'm here mum." Harry chided, clearing his throat. "Just got a bit side tracked. What did you say?"
"When are you two coming over then? I know Gemma is coming round for new years so six could work, maybe five, or is that too early for new years?"
Y/n's eyes went wide with shock as she heard Anne's words then she could've sworn her heart stopped beating when Harry replied, as nonchalantly as ever, sure mum.
"Six'll work." Harry said, saying his goodbyes. He hung up his phone and smiled at Y/n. "You excited?"
"Definitely."
...
Y/n was not excited. Not in the slightest.
Y/n and Harry spent the holidays with their own families. They called each other, constantly; and much to Annes delight, and Gemma's partial annoyance, they've been hearing all about Y/n constantly. But a few day's after the holidays, they both met up at Harry's flat to make the journey to Anne's.
Currently, they were in Harry's Range Rover, close to Anne's house. They left a couple hours after Anne's call, knowing the drive is long and traffic would most likely be a nightmare. Harry has made the long drive quite a few times since he has moved to London, he knew it like the back of his hand; Y/n, while she hasn't made this specific drive, has gone on plenty of long trips in her life.
Yet, this drive, was pure torture.
She didn't want to tell Harry thats she is scared. She knows Harry would turn the car around and say it's no big deal, but he would be disappointed.
It wasn't like she didn't like what she has heard about his family, the opposite in fact. It's what they have heard about her.
Currently, the media is portraying Y/n as a serial dater, using someone for a night, or weekend if they're lucky, then dumping them and repeat. And poor Harry is the unconfirmed boyfriend that Y/n is dragging along for a long time.
They got all that from one group photo at a party last month.
It's not true. She knows it's not true, Harry knows it's not true, but does Anne and Gemma know it's not true? Anne invited her when there wasn't too much drama going on, but now? She was terrified for what would happen.
Y/n is just glad that it is just Gemma and Anne tonight, as much as she would want to meet Robin or Desmond, she can't deal with anymore people in one night.
"Okay so a couple tips." Harry started, turning down the volume of the song on the radio, Fleetwood Mac obviously. "One, don't ask Gemma if she is dating someone unless you want her to give you a silent treatment."
She nodded.
"Don't mention fame or anything too out of touch. Not really specific, just general advice because my mum always scoffs at people who flaunt their money."
"You say this in your custom two-hundred-thousand car." Y/n joked, trying to keep her cool.
"I got teased a bit." Harry shrugs, flipping the indicator and turning down a neighborhood. "But that's just teasing."
Harry sighs as he pulls to the side of the road in front of a nice house. It was cozy, yet big enough for a couple and a guest or two. "Ready?"
"Nothing else?"
"Not really sure." Harry fidgeted. "You're the first they would or could meet so..."
Y/n just nods as Harry's voice trails off, it's all she can do. Their thoughts mimic each other.
She's meeting her future in-laws.
I'm meeting my future in-laws.
The only difference was the tone. Excitement and fear.
Harry walked round to the other side, opening her door and holding his hand to help her out. Y/n felt like the paparazzi was watching her, but instead of flashing lights it was curtains suspiciously moving.
Harry knocked on the door, hand in a death grip with Y/n's. "Deep breaths. They're going to love you."
"Harry!" Anne swung open the door and smiled, when she looked over she saw Y/n, causing her to smile brighter and nearly bring tears to the women's eyes. "Y/n! I'm so glad you're here. Come in come in!"
Y/n had her red carpet smile on. She was carful to not make her smile look too obnoxious, but not like she was not excited to be here.
"Ms Twist you're house is beautiful." She complemented, earning her first awe of the night.
"Please, call me Anne." She blushed. "And thank you sweetheart."
"Where's Gem?" Harry asked, taking his shoes off and brushing his hand on Y/n's.
"Living room. She's on the phone with someone." She winked and walked into the house. "Come in, I've got some nibbles for you two."
Y/n mouthed, someone?. Harry just rolled his eyes and mouthed, "ex." She nodded and followed Harry into the the house.
"Gemma get off the phone." They heard Anne yell. "Say hi to the couple."
Gemma’s jaw dropped as she hugged Harry. She saw Y/n and her smile grew. "You're the famous Y/n we've been hearing about!"
Y/n nervously laughed but nodded, excepting the hug happily. Harry sighed thought, face turning a shade of pink. "It's so nice to meet you!" Y/n was smiling. Their first impressions were so far good. They seemed excited to meet her, and Y/n was able to breath finally now.
"Not long until midnight, so I've got to get going on the dinner." Anna decided.
"Let me help!" Y/n jumped at the opportunity to get to know Anne and get in her good graces. Following her to the kitchen and leaving the siblings behind.
"Mum's going to love her." Gemma whispered to Harry, shoving his shoulder. Harry just blushed, happy that his girlfriend is getting along with his family.
~
Midnight struck, cheers and hugs were done, and a sneaky kiss between the two young and in love celebrities were shared. Anne was tired, so the rest decided to retire to their rooms for the night. Harry took their two bags up to the stairs and revealed the small room that housed talented singer: Harry Styles.
It had grey walled with posters hung all around. As Y/n looked closer behind the records and old CDs tapped to the wall, she found a poorly covered up dent in the wall. "What's this?"
"Something that will definitely give my mum a heart attack." Harry smiled, dropping the bags. "Was playing with some of my friends and one "accidentally" threw a nerf gun at me."
"Sounds fun." She mused, continuing to look around the room. "Seems like your music taste has not changed." Y/n noticed the Joni Mitchell collection, right next to the Stevie Nicks one.
"Nope." Harry sighed, standing next to his girlfriend, but she could sense the smile forming on his face. "I'm glad I threw out all of those porno mags."
"So thoughtful." Y/n pushed Harry away as he laughed. Harry grabbed her and threw themselves onto the small, twin sized bed that had superman sheets on.
"Superman? At sixteen?" She asked.
"Hey, don't hate on superman." Harry defends. "These sheets are too comfy to get rid of."
They laugh a bit more, settling slowly into the silence that the small room gives them. They can hear Gemma talking to someone through the wall, though they don't mind--they're too wrap up in themselves to care.
"Think your family likes me?" She asked.
"Oh definitely. You're much better then any guy Gemma brought round." Harry remarked. "Plus mum loves you loads, it's really easy to see. She doesn't just offer her special margaritas to anyone."
"I'm glad." Is all Y/n says. She's tired now, a long stressful day of nerves really washed her out, but thankfully, she's got an amazing boyfriend to sleep next to.
"I'm glad you got to meet them." Harry admits. "No way you can break up with me now. Mum'll miss you too much."
"I'd miss her too. Not that I'd ever want to break up with you."
Harry kissed her sweetly, "Good, because I'd never do that too. Wouldn't even think of it."
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alonetimelover · 6 months
Note
I was wondering if you could write Harry kissing reader lips all the times. No matter where or with whom. During sex or doing domestic things pls
pairing: boyfriend!Harry x reader
summary: Harry's love language is physical touch, but especially showering you with kisses. Here are just a few types of them.
warnings: Suggestive content (alluding to smut, but nothing explicit, alluding to reader being submissive), lots of kisses.
a/n: Just boyfriendrry and his obsession with your lips. No specific trope of mine here, just cuteness overload. Thank you for requesting!!!
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At the beginning of your relationship Harry tried not to be overly all over you. He didn’t like the word clingy but he was the equivalent to it. In the dictionary, there could be his photo next to the definition of the word. But he tried to repress the urge to just touch your arm when you were sitting on the couch, holding your hand at all times while strolling all those World’s streets, keeping his hand on your thigh while driving, caressing your hair while you tried to fall asleep late at night, massaging your sore shoulders after coming home to him after work, or just squeezing you tight whenever he was passing you. He tried to repress it, making you wonder if there was something bad going on. 
“What is your love language, Harry?” You finally asked him, while watching one of the movies from your TBW (to be watched) list. It was yet another time when he sat a metre away from you, as if you were contagious. It got you thinking. 
“Why the question?” 
“It’s just, I can’t crack it. I feel like you appreciate all of them but not one from what I do is your favourite. It’s just, I just want to cherish you the way you want to be,” you explained, now sitting sideways on the couch, face to face with Harry. 
Harry breathed heavily, “well, I didn’t think I had one. I learned to do things that my partners appreciated and roll with it.”
“You mean none of your partners asked you the question?” 
“Is that a usual question you ask?”
“I do. I mean, don’t you want to know what your partner appreciates and what they don’t like? I think the best way is to ask. It’s not only for pleasure but for creating boundaries. Those are as important.”
Now, Harry was thinking. One of the most important things he wanted to do in all of his relationships during the years was making his partners feel good, appreciated, and most importantly secure. He didn’t want them to be scared or not comfortable or even not sure about his feelings. And he now realised, you weren’t sure. 
“I think it’s physical touch,” he finally said. 
Well, that shut you up. And it did for a while, so Harry started to worry if you even heard him. 
“Yeah, I heard you. I’m just,” you stopped for a moment. “Just surprised, I guess. I’m glad I asked.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Well, now that I know,” you prolonged the last word and moved on your knees, crawling towards Harry. 
“What are you- oh!”
In seconds you were making yourself comfortable, laying down on Harry, head on his chest, one of your legs wrapping around his and arms embracing his waist, making him stop talking. 
“I love physical touch. Please don’t hold yourself back anymore,” you whispered in his chest, not wanting to strain away from his warmth. 
“Just tell me when I’m too clingy.” Harry kissed the top of your head. 
“I will. It’s gonna be okay when we communicate,” you explained and added, “you have something else you want to do more as a couple?”
“Kisses,” he now said without hesitation, confident with his feelings and needs. Coming clear to you. 
“Oh, the more you know, the more you know.” 
So you spent the rest of your evening sharing kisses, touches and sweet nothings. Now sure about each other more than ever. 
From the moment that conversation happened very early on your relationship, the physical touch was an indispensable part of it. It was everything from light touches under the table during all of the dinners you had in the public and holding hands while doing groceries to kissing you breathless against the door after coming home from a party, where you’d been teasing him throughout the whole night. 
And those kisses and any other type of them were Harry’s favourite way of saying ‘I love you’ even when those words were not apparent in your relationship’s vocabulary. 
At the beginning, the surprising kisses, being placed on your lips on any unexpected moment during your meetings were his favourite. 
“You really can't just not scare me any time we see each other, eh?" you finally asked him, hand on your heart and trying to steady your breathing. 
"I'm so sorry, baby. I'll do it softer next time," Harry promised, wrapping his hands around you and turning you so he could properly see your face. 
"Softer? How about without giving me a near heart attack experience?" 
"Mhmm." 
But those words really just went in one ear and left through the other. Harry had something much greater to concentrate on. Your lips, smeared with tomato sauce you'd been preparing to go with dinner, were just a thing he gazed at. 
"You're not listening." 
"Of course, baby." 
Just the way your lips were moving with the upper lip extra red made him answer not knowing what. He just wanted to drown into the endless waterfall of your kisses. 
“Okay, great! That’s why I was thinking about breaking up. It just seems to be not working, you know?” You tested him, if your prediction of him not being actually there in front of you, was true. 
“Yes, baby.” 
Bingo. He was not listening. 
“Harry, do you realise that we just broke up?” 
Now, he was listening. You used his name. How could you use his actual name and not one of the established nicknames. You used ‘Harry’ and he now knew you meant business. 
“What?”
“Oh, now you're listening! Great! Uhmm - I am making a spaghetti bolognese and need you to taste the sauce. It’s just missing something,” you said like not a minute ago you didn’t use the words ‘break up’ and ‘Harry’ in one sentence. 
“Wait a minute. What ‘break up’?”
“Oh, you heard that?”
“Well, you called me Harry! Of course I heard what was said later.”
“That’s your name, love,” you teased, turning to the pan, stirring the sauce. 
“That’s,” he emphasised. “That’s my name. Love, baby, my sweetest boyfriend, sexy, hottie. Whatever. You know it.” He pouted, making his way between you and the stove, as to have your undivided attention. 
“Oh, is that true?” Teasing smile on your face, turning into a loving grin. 
“Yep.” He popped the ‘p’ and dived towards your face, giving you sweet three kisses on your lips in a way to say ‘I love you’ without using those heavy words. 
And somehow even after being used to saying ‘I love you’ all the time, those three kisses meaning those words stayed in your relationship ritual. Whenever he was leaving for tour - three kisses -, whenever you went to visit your family - three kisses -, whenever you stayed at home and he was going to the store - three kisses -, right before falling asleep - three kisses. It was just engraved in you both. 
“I’ll see you in two weeks,” you said for the third time, assuring him. 
“That’s too long.” He grimaced. “Can’t you just go with me?”
You laughed, “of course I can’t. I have a job, and I promised mum I would spend some time back home. And then,” you placed both of your arms around his neck, placing your hands in his overgrown locks. “And then I am joining you.” 
Harry smiled, leaning in and placing his warm lips on your cold ones, making your breath hitched. No matter how many of those kisses you shared, each and every one of them, no matter how long or how needy they were, made you stumble and felt like it was the very first time he stole your breath away. 
He was cursing himself in his mind, when the kiss grew very heavy and needy. When your hands pulled on his hair just the way he liked, and his knee was going right where you wanted. His hands slowly moved under your baggy shirt, sending shivers down your spine. His cold fingers slowly stroke your lower back and hips, then making their way just under your ass, so he could hold you up. 
“Your plane is leaving in two hours, baby,” you said breathlessly, when Harry plastered your neck with some tiny and some mark-leaving kisses. 
“Mhm, don’t care.”
“You’ll hate yourself if you’re not early enough at the airport.”
“Ugh,” he groaned. “How are you always right and rational even when I am very prominently trying for you to forget about everything, huh?” 
He placed you back on your feet, now stroking your cheeks with his thumbs, gazing into your eyes, searching for any sign of ‘keep doing what you’ve been doing for the past five minutes’. Finding none. 
“Need to put that on my resume,” you joked. 
“If you were working for me? Sure. For anybody else? Uh, uh. Don’t need others thinking about you like this,” he whispered, eyeing you up and down. 
“Possessive, are we?”
“Nah.” He shook his head. “Just in love.”
You smiled at him, and placed those final three kisses on his awaiting and slightly swollen lips. 
“I’ll see you soon. I love you.”
“I’ll miss you. I love you.”
Like in each and every relationship there were times where you didn’t agree on certain things. Times when you argued. Times when you had silent days. And during those silent days, Harry still, a little bit proud and sometimes with a bruised ego, didn’t want to speak. But he couldn’t live without kissing you. As confusing as it was, you appreciated that. Even though you both were angry at each other, or disappointed in one another, or too proud to admit that the other was right - you would never refuse his kisses. 
Well, you once tried. 
“I don’t want you to kiss me,” you said seriously, immediately going back to reading your novel.
Harry’s brows scrunched and he cleared his throat. That hurt more than the argument, he thought. But he wouldn’t say it. He was mad and promised himself, childishly, to give you a silent treatment. It was a one time situation that he never redid. 
So he sat down next to you on the couch and waited patiently for you to speak up. He waited for hours till the moment you finished a part of a book that you had promised yourself you’d do. Then, you closed it and turned towards him. 
“Are you going to talk to me now?”
He sighed, placing one hand on your knee, squeezing it gently. 
“I’m sorry.”
“I am too.” 
“For the argument and the silence that I thought would be the best,” Harry resumed his apology after you said yours. “I know, we agreed on communicating. I’m sorry.”
“We’ll do it next time. No one said that we are perfect and are going to stick to the plan all the time. Mistakes are going to happen, probably more frequently than not. It’s just the way humans, we, are.”
Harry smiled as you started stroking his cheek lovingly. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. 
“And you were right,” he added. “My ego couldn’t take it.”
“I understand. Mine couldn’t either. We need to keep each other in check, shouldn’t we?”
“Yes. But I have one request.” 
You encouraged him to continue by nodding your hand. 
“Never, and I really mean it, never refuse my kisses. It hurt me more than anything ever. No matter how angry we are at each other, just promise me, you won’t refuse a kiss from me.”
If it was possible your eyes would immediately flow with tears and sobs would come out of your mouth. Harry was too good and sweet for this world. And his obsession with kisses just added up to his lovingness in an attempt to make sure you knew how loved you were. 
“Promise.”
And you sealed that promise with a sweet kiss. 
There was one more special type of a kiss that Harry provided you with. One that just screamed: bedroom. Or, you know, just let’s go and be alone with each other. It was discreet so whenever you were in public, or with your family or friends, they wouldn’t know what was going on. 
It was very simple. Harry would look like whispering something in your ear, but in reality he was kissing and sometimes slightly grazing the skin right under with his teeth, showering your body with goosebumps. 
The first time he did that was in his bed, no one was around, just you and him. You were lying for him, just the way he wanted you to. In the middle of the bed, pillow under your head to make you comfortable and hands placed underneath it to forbid you of touching. You laid there at his mercy watching as he moved around the room in just his dress pants - belt forgotten on the floor (already done with its job), button and zipper open, his underwear peeking. 
He finally stopped walking, standing at the end of the bed, right in front of you. Holding both of your ankles in each hand he moved them apart, placing them just far enough so he could fit between your legs. With eyes locked into yours, he kneeled on the bed, kissed one and then the second of your knees still not averting his gaze from you. Your breath hitched, a moan daring to escape your lips. 
“Don’t hold it in. I want to hear you, sweet girl,” Harry said. 
Of course he noticed the shallow and rapid breaths, warm skin and shy gaze from you. He noticed how you were forbidding him from hearing your voice, hearing how good he made you feel even though he barely touched you today. He needed to know your every thought and feeling right now. 
He smirked when you moaned after he squeezed and then caressed your inner thigh. 
Finally, to end your misery and yearning, he leaned down, bearing down on one of his forearms. His face daring closer and closer to yours, edging you endlessly. You wanted to just grab his head and kiss him right this moment, but knew that wouldn’t lead you to any good. You learned your lesson the hard way.
“Now,” he started, his face just inches away from your ear. “I think I can start to properly thank you, huh?” 
You gulped, not knowing if the noise that would come out of your mouth would be a coherent sentence (a simple ‘yes’) or a loud, needy moan. You knew Harry would encourage you to speak up. He needed to hear you and he could wait more to just hear those three letters. 
“Words, sweet girl. I need to hear you saying it.” 
His hand once again moved to your thigh, his fingertips tickling your skin, so delicate, so familiar and needed. He was testing you, almost as he wanted you to fail his little test, wanting to see you crumble underneath him. 
“Yes, yes. Please.” 
He grinned, and it had nothing to do with a teasing smirk he liked to send your way nor the teasing smile he flashed you from time to time. That grin was just perfection, like showing your entire love on your hand, giving it away to that one and only. 
And then he kissed that spot for the very first time. And you weren’t silent, loudly giving him a pointer that it was a way to see you fall apart from the simplest of pleasures. 
“Mhmm,” he chuckled. “I’m gonna use it more from now on.”
a/n: a little challenge for myself to write something more intimate. i hope you liked it!
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harrywavycurly · 1 year
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Texting Boyfriend Harry Styles Part 1: That’s Odd
Masterlist: here
A/N: I haven’t done a lot with Harry in a very long time so be gentle while I get back in the groove of writing for him. But enjoy the first installment of the boyfriend Harry series!✨
*Harry should’ve known his surprise would end up like this also you are going to have a very long talk with a certain Irishman*
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heartateasee · 6 days
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“Attention”
boyfriend!Harry x you
Word Count: 3.9k
Warnings: unprotected sex, sir kink, mutual masturbation and squirting
Plot: Your boyfriend, Harry, is CEO for a big company, and you’ve been feeling neglected lately. Being bored at home alone causes you to think of the perfect idea to capture his attention.
◈◆◈◆◈◆◈◆◈
You wandered across the hardwood floors of your boyfriend’s house. House was putting it lightly. Your boyfriend practically owned a mansion. But regardless of him owning a mansion, it didn’t make up for the neglect you had been feeling for almost the past two weeks.
Harry had been your boyfriend for a little over three years now, and you made the decision to move in with him almost a year ago. Your relationship was honestly nothing short of perfect. A year into your relationship you were able to quit your job as he wanted to support you fully, and things only got better once you moved in. He doted on you, and gave you everything that you could possibly want.
At first you felt bad, telling him that he was doing too much, and that you were more than happy just being with him. Harry didn’t like that answer. He wanted you to know how much he loved you. Whether that was in public, in the bedroom, or contained in your shopping bags - Harry wanted you to know.
Your boyfriend was a busy man. You knew this from the start of your relationship, but you felt more lonely recently. It wasn’t like the two of you to go without sex for so long. It was a Friday, and this coming Sunday, it will have been two weeks since the two of you have been intimate.
Now that you think of it, this may be the longest you’ve gone since the first time you gave yourselves over to each other.
As you made your way back into your bedroom, you sat on the foot of your bed. Your eyes slipped shut, as you reminisced about the last time he had his way with you - despite an interruption.
Harry’s large hand was around your throat as his chest was pressed against your back. Both of you were on your side, still a bit hazy due to the early morning, but even on the weekends Harry’s body woke him up at dawn. His prick was thrusting in and out of your barely awakened cunt as you mewled and moaned into the open air of your bedroom. Despite being groggy, you could hear the sound of your arousal bouncing off the walls.
“My good fucking girl,” Harry growled lowly in your ear, his voice still rough from sleep. “Taking me so well - every inch.”
Your hand reached behind to grasp at his hip, and you could feel your fingertips denting into his skin. This was one of your favorite positions. It was so easy, and slightly lazy, but it just always felt right. 
He dropped his hand from your throat, and he coasted it down your chest to knead one of your breasts as he continued to consume you.
“Are you, angel? Are you my good girl?”
You gasped as he tugged at your nipple, causing you to drop your head back against his shoulder as he continued his pleasurable taking of your drenched pussy.
“Yes,” you huffed. “Your good girl. Only yours.”
Your hazy eyes watched as Harry smirked, and he dragged his hand back up to cup the underside of your chin. His lips met yours in a sloppy, and tortuous kiss before the shrill of his phone cut through your lust.
“Ignore it, please,” you begged, your other hand coming up to wrap around his wrist, but his free hand was already reaching behind him to locate the inconvenient device on his nightstand. You rolled your eyes when you heard him answer it, and as much as you knew he tried not to, his hips stilled.
“What?” Harry snapped into the phone, still caressing over your ribs and your side. “I’m busy.”
You could hear a muffled voice on the other side, and you rolled your eyes again. Your hand around his wrist gripped a bit harder to pull his hand off your chin - maneuvering your way through the silk sheets away from him. It caused him to slip out of you, and you could tell he tried to suppress a groan from the sensation.
You didn’t get very far until you felt Harry’s arm around your waist, pulling you right back to where you were. As much as you tried to fight against his grasp, you knew you were useless. You weren’t fighting the sex because you didn’t want it, you were fighting it because you were annoyed.
His fingertips prodded against your soaked entrance for a moment before you felt his arousal-ridden tip enter you again. Harry was so slick with your want, and as much as you wanted to resist, the fact he still wanted you while taking a business call had your head reeling.
“What do you mean he hasn’t counter offered?” Harry’s thrusts delved further into you as your fingers grasped to the pillowcase under your head.
His large hand trailed down your leg until he threw it over his hip, and you let out the loudest moan of the morning when you felt him so deep.
“Well, if he doesn’t want to meet our demands, then find someone else to go through with it,” Harry strained as he continued to satiate your needs. “But I can’t draw this out too much longer. Not right now.”
Whimpering, you reached around to grasp at his torso, fingernails digging into his skin. You needed him, every bit of him, and you knew he was trying to give it to you. 
Harry hissed at the sting from your nails, but he didn’t care - he liked a little bit of pain. “Figure it the fuck out. I’ll be at the office within the hour.”
His phone was thrown onto the floor, and his arms enveloped you. Letting out a huff of surprise, your back met his chest even further, and his cock continued to ease your every ache.
“Y-you answered your phone,” you whined, hands gripping to his forearms. “While you were inside me.”
Harry scoffed, shaking his head. “And?”
You frowned, your body jolting with each of his thrusts. “They knew what was happening, H.”
“So what if they did? ‘S their fault anyway - bothering me on my day off,” his lips sponged against your neck before you felt him nipping at the hinge of your jaw. “Now c’mon, angel. Need you to get my cock all wet.”
Just the thought of him stretching you out had your thighs pressing together, and you opened your eyes to look at your phone on the nightstand. You grabbed it and quickly clicked on his name to call him, and you put the device up to your ear.
“Hello?”
“Hi, H,” you said softly as you fiddled with a stray string on your comforter.
“Is everything alright, angel? You usually never call like this.”
It was true. You didn’t call during his work days because you didn’t know if you’d be disrupting something important, and you didn’t want to bother him.
“No, nothing’s wrong. I just…I’m feeling a little-”
“Richard, no, that’s not the number we agreed to,” Harry cut you off, and that’s when you could hear other voices in the background. “No, you tell him it’s either that or nothing at all.”
You go quiet as you hear a bit more back and forth before Harry is clearing his throat.
“Sorry about that, baby. What were you saying?”
Sighing, you shook your head as you pinched the bridge of your nose between your thumb and index finger. “Nothing, it’s nothing. Do you know when you’ll be home this evening? I’d like to know when to start getting dinner ready.”
“I don’t know right now, I’m sorry. We’re getting really close to sealing this deal, and I don’t want to lose it. I may have to stay pretty late today to make sure it gets done.”
You dropped your hand into your lap as you felt tears welling in your eyes. They were tears of sadness, and frustration. You missed your boyfriend, and even though he’s been home after work in the evenings, you felt as if you hadn’t seen him at all these last few days.
Once he comes in from work, he sits at the table with his already made dinner that you worked so hard on, and silence blankets the table. You don’t ask how work is because when he’s quiet like that you know it’s either not good, or he’s extremely stressed. He won’t ask how your day has been, or what you got up to to entertain yourself.
As you wash the dishes, he’s already up in your en-suite - taking a shower before hauling himself away inside his home office. You're left to bathe alone and you tuck yourself into bed. Alone. It’s not until the wee hours of the morning that you’ll feel him get into bed beside you, but he doesn’t hold you. It all feels so empty.
“Okay,” you responded, shaking your head. “I’ll just put your plate in the fridge for whenever you get home. I’ll let you get back to work.”
“You sound upset,” Harry said, and although you could hear the concern in his voice, it still didn’t make you feel any better.
“Maybe I am,” you laughed. “I feel like I haven’t seen you lately.”
“Are you serious? You see me every day at home. We have dinner together every night. We sleep in the same bed. What do you mean you don’t see me?” His tone now had a bit of annoyance to it, and that set you off.
“Just because you’re here, Harry, doesn’t mean you’re actually here. Mentally you’re still at work, and focused on whatever deal you’re making at the time. I’m left to entertain myself all day, and now I’m stuck doing it at night too. It never used to be this way.”
“Do you understand that if I don’t take care of these deals then we won’t have a roof over our heads? That we won’t have food on our table, and that you won’t be able to go out and just buy whatever you want? This is my job, Y/N. You knew who I was when you started dating me. I’m a busy man.”
“God, you’re not even listening,” you groaned, tears now streaming down your cheeks. “We’ll talk later. Whenever you get home, I guess.”
You could still hear him speaking as you ended the call, and you dropped your phone onto the bed. Pressing the heels of your palms against your eyes, you sucked in a deep breath and tried to calm yourself as best as possible.
It hurt that he didn’t see the point that you were trying to get across to him. Instead you were met with aggression, and misunderstanding. 
Once you gathered yourself, you stood up from the bed and began to walk into your en-suite, but you stopped as your eyes lingered on the drawer of your nightstand. The drawer housed every toy that you and Harry owned, and regardless of being upset, you were still extremely frustrated sexually.
Then the lightbulb went off in your head.
You knew just how to get your boyfriend’s attention.
Making your way into the en-suite, you bring out your curling iron, and you style some soft waves in your hair. You apply a little bit of mascara to your lashes, just enough to give them some volume before you head into your closet.
You pulled out a lingerie set, one that you knew was Harry’s favorite, and you paired it with some sheer white knee high stockings. Tying a white silk robe around your body, you opened your nightstand drawer, and you grabbed your medium-sized pink vibrator.
Harry had several cameras in the house, and you knew that they went off when motion was detected. Most of the time he’d look at the notification on his phone, check the footage to make sure it was you, and that everything was okay before he’d move along. But today, you knew just how to get him to stay focused on one particular camera.
With your phone in one hand, and your vibrator in the other, you made your way into his home office. You never come in here when he isn’t home, so you knew the notification that motion was coming from this room would intrigue him immediately.
You’d be getting his attention. You knew he would call you.
You kept your eyes on the camera as you made your way around his desk, pushing his computer chair to the side so that it didn’t block the view of you once you perched yourself up onto the desk. Tilting your head to the side, you placed both your vibrator and your phone down before leaning back against the wooden surface - palms down on the top of it.
You pushed yourself up to where you were now sitting right in the middle on the top of his desk, and you brought your fingers down to play with the tie of your robe before undoing it. You let it fall off your shoulders slowly, and then you threw it off to the side.
Biting down on your bottom lip, you ghosted your hands over the swells of your breasts that spilled so deliciously over the cups of your lingerie. As you started down towards your core, you heard Harry’s ringtone cutting through the silence, and you smirked as you looked back up to the camera.
You blindly reached down and accepted the call - putting it on speaker.
“Hel-”
“What do you think you’re doing, Y/N?”
“What does it look like I’m doing?” You asked as you batted your eyelashes up at the lens, pursing your lips into a pout. “I’m just trying to take care of myself - find something to entertain me while you’re busy providing for us.”
You heard him scoff on the other line, and you trailed the tip of your finger over the vibrator that was still laying next to your thigh.
“I figured that if I did it in here, it would be like I was closer to you since this is where you’ve been spending all your time at home lately. Still smells like you from last night.”
Maybe you were being a little mean, but you didn’t care at this point. You wanted him to know you were upset, and just how much this was hurting you.
“Y/N,” you could hear the restraint in his voice. He didn’t want to give into you, but you knew you’d have him cracking in no time.
“Yes, sir?”
“You're being a little brat.”
“Am I?” You tilted your head to the side as you picked the vibrator up, trailing the tip of it over the top of your thigh. “I thought you’d be happy that I found something to do to occupy my time since you’re too busy for me.”
You heard Harry saying some names through the phone, and you could tell he was letting people he’d be busy for a moment. He told them not to disturb him for a bit, and he’d let them know when he was available again. You knew he was probably speaking to his assistant that sat right outside his office door.
It wasn’t until you heard the sound of the door shutting, and the click of him locking it, that you felt anticipation swirling in your lower abdomen.
“Interrupting me during my work? I’d say that’s brat behavior.”
“Well, it seems like you don’t mind the interruption too much since you’re still watching me. And you’re still on the phone with me, aren’t you?”
Clicking the button on the bottom of the toy, you feel the vibrations flow through your thigh before you slide it over to rest on the top of your mound.
Harry remained silent, but you heard the unbuckling of his belt, and the noise of his zipper being pulled down.
“Touching yourself at work, hm?” You taunted, and you gasped out as you pressed the tip of the vibrator to your covered clit.
“What else do you expect me to do? Just sit here and watch you get off?”
Humming, you tilted your head to the side. “Honestly, that would seem fair to me. It might be nice to have you feel a little neglected for once. Then you’d know what I’ve felt like for almost two weeks.”
“Two weeks…fuck,” you could tell that Harry was actually surprised to realize the span of time. “Has it really been that long, angel?”
“Mhmm,” you started to move the toy in slow circles, your toes curling in your stockings. “Been lonely, sir.”
“Shit, I’m ‘s sorry, baby. I didn’t think it had been that long. Can’t believe I’ve left you needy. You know I don’t like doing that to you.”
You hadn’t realized your eyes slipped shut, so you fluttered them open - looking back to the camera. Parting your lips, you let out a lewd moan as you applied more pressure against your needy pearl, and you arched your back so your pretty cleavage was pushed out for him to see.
“Looking so beautiful, sweetheart. ‘Y wear that set just for me?”
You nodded as you fought to keep your eyes open. “I know it’s your favorite,” you breathed as you rested your cheek against your shoulder. “How are you touching yourself?”
“Just palming myself over my briefs right now - squeezing myself a little. Teasing myself for you,” Harry panted, and you clenched down around nothing at the vision his words brought you.
“Good.”
You pulled the underwear part of your lingerie to the side, lifting the vibrator up the slightest bit just to put it right back down against your throbbing bundle of nerves.
“Tell me how wet you are,” Harry huffed into the phone, and you moved your free hand down to circle your entrance - being met immediately with your arousal.
“So wet, sir. Already dripping,” you told him before slipping a finger inside as you upped the vibrations on your toy.
Your hips bucked up against your palm and the vibrator, and soon you heard the sound of Harry spitting through the phone.
You knew he was spitting into his hand, and it caused a shudder to run up your spine.
“Did you pull yourself out?”
“Yeah, I had to. I’m rock fucking hard, angel. It was starting to hurt,” Harry spoke into the phone, and you started to hear the sounds of his wet hand sliding over his shaft. 
“How does it feel?” You dipped another finger inside, beginning to curl them to graze your g spot as you felt the familiar burning in your lower abdomen - your thighs attempting to pull themselves together as you neared your orgasm.
“Feels good, but not as good as you. Wish it was your tight little cunt squeezing me - not my hand.”
You moaned at his words, and his shallow breaths mixed with the noise of your toy, and your fingers, filled the room. “And I wish it was you inside me, and not my fingers. It feels good, but it’s not enough.”
“Slip another finger in for me, Y/N. Make it three. I know you won’t be as full as if you were full of me, but it’ll get you there.”
You knew this information yourself, but you liked him coaching you through it. There was something so insanely sexy about this whole thing, and you couldn’t help but wonder if this would become a new norm for the two of you.
Gliding another finger into your slick entrance, you really started to feel your orgasm creeping in, and you applied more pressure to your swollen bud.
“Cut that lingerie, baby. I want to see properly.”
“But…but this is your favorite-”
“Y/N, cut it. I’ll buy you another. There’s scissors on my desk.”
You whimpered as you slid your fingers out of yourself so that you could reach behind and grab the scissors. Once they were in your hand, you carefully separated the blades over the underwear and snipped it - having it fall completely open.
Immediately, you plunged your three fingers back inside, and you began to pulse them in and out at a harder rate now that you had more room to work with.
“I can hear how drenched you are through the phone. That’s so fucking sexy, and you look so fucked right now. Never gonna have you go without again, you hear me?”
Whining, you nodded your head in response to his words. “Please don’t, Harry. I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’ve missed you too, baby. When I get home, I’m going to give it to you so nice, and deep. I’m gonna make you feel how sorry I am. I’m gonna let you know that this won’t ever happen again,” Harry grunted, and you could hear that he had picked up the pace of him fucking his prick into his fist.
Knowing your next move would send you over the edge, you pressed the pad of your thumb against the button of the toy one more time so that it was on the highest intensity, and as much as you wanted to close your legs down around your hand, you forced them open more.
“I’m about to come, sir,” you moaned, curling your fingers to rub the tips of them over your spongy spot over and over. “It’s…oh, it’s going to be a lot.”
“Come for me, angel. Let me see it. Let me hear you.”
As your orgasm began to wash over you, you pulled the vibrator away from your clit as your climax sprayed across the inside of your thighs, and across the top of Harry’s desk. You continued to grind your ass against the wood to meet the aggressive thrusts of your hand, keeping your orgasm going as more and more liquid left you.
“Oh my fuck,” Harry gasped into the phone, and it quickly turned into a moan. “Got me coming all over my hand - all over my stomach. Holy shit.”
You felt yourself clench down around your fingers harder when the noises of Harry spreading his come over his length filled your ears, and you let out one final gush of your own orgasm before you began to slow down.
Your chest heaved up and down, and you whimpered as you removed your fingers.
“Clean them up.”
With your hand still trembling from the aftermath of your climax, you held out your tongue as you wiped your fingers over the pad of it before sealing your lips down around them. Harry hummed as your eyes fluttered shut, and you felt yourself starting to come back down to earth.
“My good girl,” Harry cooed, and you opened your eyes again to send him a dazed smile through the camera. “My gorgeous angel. How are you feeling?”
“Good,” you sighed as you lazily nodded your head. “Really good.”
“I’m so glad ‘m love. I’m sorry I didn’t pay attention to what you were trying to tell me earlier, and I want to talk about it more when I get home, okay? I don’t want to let this happen again.”
“Okay, H. Thank you for hearing me.”
“I’m sorry for not doing it sooner. I’ll see you shortly. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“And angel?”
“Yes, Harry?”
“Go ahead and plan on being on all fours on the bed when you hear me come in the front door. We’re starting as soon as I get home.”
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