Tumgik
#boys will be boys
beardedmrbean · 6 months
Text
Nothing like a trip to the uncanny valley to boost your mood
65K notes · View notes
savagegood · 7 months
Text
mcdonald’s in its yaoi era
10K notes · View notes
Text
34K notes · View notes
orbitalsockets · 7 months
Text
Boys Will Be Boys
In case anyone wants to know how unhinged my [REDACTED] is, I asked him about this :
Tumblr media
To which he replied "Every few days."
Why?????
"I like to think about failure, they did so poorly and tried so hard but achieved nothing. I like to think about ancient civilizations and how baffled they'd be by today. They'd die."
More at 11.
705 notes · View notes
tygerland · 8 months
Text
Tumblr media
568 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
209 notes · View notes
remixingreality · 29 days
Text
Tumblr media
216 notes · View notes
masked-watcher · 1 month
Text
Soap created a Group chat Soap changed the profile picture Soap changed the name to “1-whore-1 💅” Ghost left the chat Soap added Ghost to the chat Price: Shouldn't you all be working? Soap: Who says we aren't working? Price: You think chatting like this during work hours is considered "working"?! Soap: You're chatting too Price: It's different! Soap: Lmao yeah sure Soap: Hey, hey Ghost! Ghost ✓✓ Soap: DON'T LEAVE ME ON READ I SEE YOU'RE ONLINE Ghost has removed you from his "Friends" list and blocked you You're no longer able to see the user "Ghost" online status Ghost has left the chat Soap: WHAT THE FUCK Price: Soap, watch with the language! Soap: But but but but he blocked me Gaz: Maybe that's for a good reason? Soap: You're all so mean imma go cry Roach: Bro, seriously?! Soap: Shut up you insect 😭 Roach: Insect? Okay and you're literally the most basic dude here. Soap: Wow. Is national bully Soap day today? Gaz: Yeah, you didn't get the memo? Soap: 😭🖕 Soap is offline Price: Okay, I guess we shouldn't have gone too far... Roach: Too late now... Gaz: Soap will forgive us. Roach: You sure? Gaz: He'll be back in 3... Gaz: 2 Gaz: 1 Soap is online Soap: Okay can someone please tell Ghost to unblock me before I have to go physically meet him Price: Soap, just leave Ghost alone he clearly wants some time alone. Soap: But it's super mega important!! Price: What is so important that you need Ghost's attention?? Soap: That's a secret 👉👈 Price: Soap... Price: You're not still pining over him are you...? Soap: WHAT THE- Where the hell did you learn that word captain?? Price: ...I have my sources. Soap: I- Okay I don't even wanna know but NO I AM NOT Price: I was joking, Soap. You clearly are obsessed with him, I thought it was obvious. Soap: 🖕 Price: Don't you be giving me the finger, Soap, I can dock your pay for that. Soap: Abuse of power!!! I'm telling on you to Laswell!! Price: I'll dock your pay and your vacation days, don't challenge me. Soap: 😭
246 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
377 notes · View notes
zmyaro · 11 months
Text
Tumblr media
Nia had the idea to make this, and they were absolutely right.
459 notes · View notes
beardedmrbean · 9 months
Text
77K notes · View notes
menoftiktok · 1 year
Text
928 notes · View notes
onyourowndaisymae · 1 year
Text
obey me characters as "boys will be boys" shenanigans
Tumblr media
boys will be boys-- a common phrase usually used to dismiss sexist or destructive behavior from boys and men alike. that usage absolutely neglects to acknowledge all the fun, harmless, stupid shit boys are capable of. i refuse to let this phrase be misogynistic any longer. "boys will be boys" is now the go to phrase to mean "boys will sometimes do stupid shit that is usually harmless but always endearing and/or entertaining". gotta give some love to our boys <3
content warnings: clueless boy behavior
Tumblr media
only on the rarest of occasions, when he's completely distracted, mammon will drink like a toddler. y'know that thing where they take huge sips and then breathe loudly between each sip? yeah that. that's him. not on purpose, but he still does it. it is so hard to catch him doing this, but when you do it is so fucking funny.
diavolo and lucifer are really into those unclogging drains accounts on social media. something about them just really captivates them. same with "how it's made" clips. they'll send the videos to each other anytime the stumble across a really good one. nobody (besides barbatos) knows they do this.
beel is definitely that man that, when asked to buy tampons or pads for a mestruating friend or partner, to ask very amusing questions. if he's grabbing tampons, he'll shyly call you up from the feminine hygiene aisle and ask "what size is your... y'know..." (he can't bring himself to say it). cue the laughter once you eventually pick up on what he means-- the sizes they offer for different flows, like regular or super. you're nice enough to explain that one when he gets home. if he's grabbing you pads, he'll call you up in distress from the store. you see, he knows that your period lasts a few days, but the longest lasting ones he can find are overnight pads. should he go to another store to get ones that will last longer, or...? you have to explain to him that you don't wear pads for more than a couple of hours, and that you throw the old ones away and replace them with new ones when needed. poor thing. he's trying so hard to help.
asmo is very much team "kiss the homies goodnight". granted, he has different reasons for that stance, but it's funny to hear him tease the others. what's that, mammon? you don't kiss the homies goodnight? what a bad friend! this always ends in chaos.
mammon may be the crow, but it's usually satan that collects things like one. he has a pile of pretty rocks he's found or received over the years. he will, if prompted, show you every last one of them and explain all of their origins (like a toddler showing off their racecar collection). you might have just asked casually, but now you're in it for the long haul. see, this rock here is actually from the human world. it's only ever found by volcanos, as it is a form of volcanic rock, but this one actually--
Tumblr media
840 notes · View notes
mxanimationz · 2 months
Text
Hey!!!! You there- look at these boys being boys-
Tumblr media
I know i’ve seen someone do this with the sally face boys before but uh- my turn teehee!!
105 notes · View notes
bearnakedbaker · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media
Playing Keep Away!
111 notes · View notes
buckysgrace · 1 month
Text
Work It Out
Challenged by @sadhours for my first ever Harringrove piece so here we goooo :)
Warnings: Handjobs, masturbation, semi public masturbation, lots of pining
Steve is bad at measuring.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
The morning had been slow. The math class he sat in was even more tedious as he continued to find himself staring off towards the back of Carol’s head. He wondered if she knew about the tiny pieces of lint that had settled at the bottom of her red strands. He doubted it.
He’d already finished his assignment for the day, finding it easier to deal with numbers than anything else. He enjoyed reading, but he thought the literature discussions were dumb. Full of fake answers that people thought of to look smarter than what they actually were.
His eyes drifted about, scanning briefly over the various math posters and examples on the board until he settled over the large windows. He stared at them for a moment, longing to feel the warm sun on him once again. He hated the weather now, hated how the sun could look so hot and warm but still be cold outside. He didn’t get it. He missed his home.
His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a pencil tapping. He moved his eyes in that direction, taking in the messy haired boy who seemed to be deep in thought. He clearly hadn’t knocked his assignment out, as he actually looked to be struggling with it. 
He liked looking at Steve. He knew he shouldn’t, but he did. He liked tracing his eyes over Steve’s moles and soft lips. He liked his dark eyebrows, his strong nose and how he chewed on his eraser when he tried to seek the answers to whichever problem he was stuck on. 
The sunlight dipped in through the windows, lighting Steve into a golden haze that danced off of his warm skin. He was tapping his pencil against his textbook, his lips moving softly as he repeated the question over and over again. 
Billy was enamored with the way Steve’s lips moved. They were pink, curved softly and decorated with the prettiest cupid's bow he’d ever seen. Billy had an urge to trace them, to rub his finger across Steve’s lips until he tired of the feeling. He wondered if Steve would lean against him, if he’d pull him closer. He dreamt of Steve gripping his wrist and kissing each of his fingertips, his brown eyes locked onto Billy’s the whole time.
Steve paused mid tap, shook his shoulders and then quickly jerked his head in Billy’s direction. Billy snapped his head back down to his desk, narrowly avoiding the inquisitive look on Steve’s features as he rolled his tongue around in his mouth.
He pressed his fingertips together, doing his best to keep from shaking as he suddenly felt the dire need for a cigarette. He felt a warmth flowing through him, spreading from the top of his forehead down to the tips of his toes as he felt Steve’s eyes lingering for just a moment. Just a small second. Just enough to make him feel like he was losing his sanity.
Billy couldn’t help the ache that formed in his chest every time he looked at Steve, bitter and angry that he wasn’t able to control his feelings. He couldn’t understand why Steve had such an affect on him, why he was the only person that made Billy feel like he could be wanted.
He’d push him in the halls, shoving him up against walls and lockers as he passed through. If Billy got the chance, he’d tug on Steve’s hair and steal the dessert from his tray with little to no protest from the brunette. Sometimes he’d lean forward in his chair and mock him, only feeling proud when Steve would audibly sigh and roll his eyes. The days that Steve smarted back to him were his favorite. He felt like Steve actually saw him on those days.
It was hopeless. Billy knew it was, no matter how tightly he clung to his hope that he may have some sort of chance. Billy saw the girls that Steve dated, saw how he interacted with other guys on the basketball team. His eyes never lingered, never wandered or became suspicious. He wasn’t interested. He wasn’t messed up in the ways Billy was.
He’d had odd feelings before, but they had never been as strong as what they were now. He felt like he was in middle school again, like he’d just discovered what it was like to have a crush on someone. The way he acted around Steve was the same way he acted around girls when he was too young to know what his feelings meant. He knew what they meant now. It scared him. 
Steve made it hard to concentrate during games, during school; just seeing him walking in the hall made Billy’s heart seize. It was ridiculous. He hated himself for it. It only made him angrier, made him wonder where his lines had gotten crossed.
He was too tired to dip back into his conflicting thoughts on who he liked. He still liked girls, but Steve made him think that he could like men too. That he could be with someone who was who had similar parts to him. He wanted it to be okay.
“What did you get on number four?” Steve’s arm was on his desk suddenly, nearly smearing Billy’s neat handwriting as he lazily rested there. Billy stared at the moles on Steve’s arm for a moment before he found the courage to face him, his mouth suddenly dry in a way he hadn’t experienced in a long time.
His eyes were brown, but in the sunlight they looked like warm honey. Almost golden. It reminded him of the hot sun on the beach, of how he used to just close his eyes and absorb the rays from the sun. 
“S’not any of your business,” Billy piped back, finally able to speak as he pressed his fingertips against Steve’s elbow to shove him away, “Not my fault you don’t know how to count.” He snapped back, instantly feeling his insides crush into tiny pieces at the way Steve’s expression fell. 
He watched, feeling frozen in his spot as Steve gave a shrug of his shoulders and slumped back into his seat. He kicked his long legs apart, spreading them as he brought his pencil back against his desk and began to tap again. He didn’t work on the assignment the rest of class; just avoided looking at Billy the same way that Billy was avoiding looking at him. 
Two weeks passed before Billy had his next bump in with Steve. He avoided him in the halls, in the classrooms. He acted like he didn’t exist during basketball practice. It hurt. It made him feel sick. He missed the warm way Steve smiled, how his eyes lit up when he got excited. He missed watching Steve brush his fingers through his thick hair, how he’d occasionally tug on the locks if he got too deep into his thoughts. 
“You’re doing that wrong.” Billy pointed out as he leered over Steve’s shoulder, watching the way he was incorrectly setting up his geometry problem. Billy tilted his head, sure that Steve had incorrectly measured all of his angles.
“I can count,” Steve replied through barred lips, looking irritated as he spared a glance up in Billy’s direction. Billy felt the corners of his mouth twitch, his stomach fluttering as their eyes met, “I know.” He mumbled as he turned away.
Billy watched him for a moment, expecting him to correct it as Steve kept his pencil pointed at the paper. He felt a laugh bubbling in his chest as Steve quickly dropped his palms onto his paper to hide his work away.
“I don’t think you’re doing anyone a favor there,” Billy snorted, wondering if Steve was the reason that Tommy had failed so many of his classes, “You’re supposed to use centimeters, not inches.” He reminded him, hoping that Steve may realize the error of his ways on his own. 
“Since when?” Steve furrowed his eyebrows together, then squinted his pretty brown eyes as he held the paper up to examine it. Billy paused before he settled his legs over one of the extra stools. 
“Says it right there,” Billy pointed out to the top of the paper as he straddled a stool next to Steve. He stared at the words, trying not to focus on the feeling of his knee pressed against Steve’s thigh, “You’re not labeling your units either. That’s why you got this problem wrong.” 
“Oh,” Steve drew out softly, blinking as he examined the directions again, “Right. I see that.” He mumbled as he took a hold of his pencil, twisting it around a few times between his fingers before he began to erase what he’d already worked on. 
“When you measure,” Billy began as Steve pulled his ruler up to the triangle, “You should start here. The numbers come out more accurate this way.” He explained, his fingers lightly pressing against the ruler to drag it down to the correct spot. He watched the way Steve’s fingers twitched away before their hands could meet, like he was too nervous.
“Alright, yeah, I guess,” Steve mumbled as he shook his head, “Is your mom like a teacher or something?” He grumbled but looked to be more jealous than anything, like he wished that he had something similar. Billy snorted in response, wishing that it was that easy. 
“She’s dead.” Billy said simply, unable to hide the bitterness and anger that rolled off of his tongue. She wasn’t dead. Rosemary was very much alive, he was sure of that. But to him, she was dead. 
“Oh,” Steve’s brown eyes widened, his jaw going slack as he looked at him stunned, “I’m sorry, man. I didn’t know.” He spit out quickly, a flush settling over his cheeks as he seemed to be trying to dig himself out of the hole he’d just created. 
“S’fine, it’s none of your business anyways,” Billy brushed him off quickly, “That number is way too small.” He changed the subject quickly, not wanting to linger on thoughts of his mom. It was easier to point out Steve’s mistake. 
“It’s-,” Steve huffed in frustration as he erased his answer hurriedly again, “Funny you say that, considering that’s the size of your dick.” He grumbled to himself, like it was supposed to be some sort of insult. Billy stared at him for a moment, certain that he had heard the brunette wrong. 
“My dick is not that small,” Billy defended himself, “Plus, yours is even smaller than that.” He said quickly, not wanting to be stuck in some rumor over having a small dick. His was not small. 
“I do not have a small dick,” Steve huffed out, his cheeks beginning to burn, “I have a large one. Eleven inches, actually.” He replied proudly, dropping his pencil like that was the last word. Billy raised an eyebrow. 
“Your dick is not eleven inches.” He dismissed Steve as he shook his head. He hadn’t seen what Steve was packing, but he was quite confident in his answer. There was no way. 
“How would you know?” Steve challenged, “Are you peeking?” He asked quickly, looking a little horrified as he moved a hand over his junk. Billy felt his eyes widen, his heart falling to the floor in panic. 
“No,” Billy spit out quickly, “There’s just no way you were blessed like that.” He said at last, suddenly wishing that he hadn’t approached in the first place. Why did he approach? He was suddenly reminded of how annoying Steve was. 
“I’ll show you,” Steve said, then briefly paused, “I didn’t mean it like that. I meant like, I will prove to you how long my dick is. By measuring it with you.” He spit out awkwardly, shrugging his shoulders like it was no big deal. 
“Doesn’t sound very exciting.” Billy replied dryly, though he could feel a certain jolt rushing down  his body. He mentally cursed himself, unable to believe that his body was getting excited over something so dumb. 
“Are you scared that I’m right about something?”Steve challenged, looking like he was quick to defend himself. Billy raised an eyebrow, but kept himself from retorting that he didn’t think Steve’s counting skills were all that.
“You’re on.” Billy said at last, unable to stop himself as he slowly dragged his eyes away from Steve’s amused ones and landed on his pink lips instead. He was fucked. 
They both waited until practice was over and everyone else had left. Billy felt odd sitting around in his towel so long and had hastily decided to redress himself. He already knew how big his dick was, he had nothing to prove. 
“See,” Steve proclaimed proudly, “Eleven inches.” He grinned from ear to ear, looking entirely too cocky as he held his ruler against his dick. Billy looked up at him incredulously. 
“You can’t count the balls.” He pointed out, feeling like it was a known rule to keep from measuring your balls. It didn’t count, not at all. 
“That’s part of my dick!” Steve protested, “It so does count.” He gestured back towards himself, looking a little angry as he stared at his cock. It had been awkward waiting earlier, as Steve had swore that the only right way to measure himself was by getting hard. Billy had waited on the opposite side of the lockers, sure that Steve was probably beating his dick to some old memory. 
“Here,” Billy grumbled as he yanked the ruler free from Steve’s grasp, fully lost in the need to prove him wrong, “You start here and place it here.” He directed him, his eyes slightly widening at the realization that his fingers were brushing against Steve’s dick. Steve lurched forward, a shrill whine leaving his lips at the same time. Billy gulped, feeling his own cock hardening in his pants. 
“I-,” Steve gulped, “I’m sorry, I just-,” Billy cut him off again, his body warming as he slowly wrapped his fingers around Steve’s girth. Steve gasped again, his tone shrill as he jerked his hips forward. He rutted himself against Billy’s palm for a moment, his features wrinkled in bliss. 
Billy felt his heart hammering in his chest, beating against his ribs and nearby organs as he stared down at both of their bodies. He knew it was dangerous, knew that anyone could walk in at any time. He didn’t care. He was too last in the moment, in the thrill of keeping Steve’s gaze on him. 
“What was that?” He hummed softly as he moved behind Steve, feeling his confidence grow at the whiny sounds that left Steve’s mouth. He pressed his chest against Steve’s back, soaking in the warmth from the other boy as he felt his own cock aching in his jeans. He fought the urge to rock his hips forward, to grind against Steve.
“It feels,” Steve gulped harshly as Billy tilted his head, looking at how his eyes grew hazy and his cheeks pink, “It feels good.” He groaned, his eyes flashing in desperation as he turned towards Billy again. 
“Don’t let me stop you,” Billy mumbled from against his mouth, his lips slightly dragging against Steve’s warm skin as he moved his hand from Steve’s cock and towards the other side of his hips, “Go ahead.” He urged the brunette, enjoying the soft croon that fell from Steve’s lips as he wrapped his long fingers around his leaking cock.
Billy watched in fascination, doing all that he could to keep from rubbing himself up against Steve’s soft backside as he slowly began to stroke himself in his hand. Billy dragged his fingers across Steve’s waist at the same time, enjoying the hot sensation that grew from his touch. 
“Oh,” Steve trembled against him, his pink lips pouting out into a breathless moan as he rocked his hips forward to meet the rough movements from his hand. Billy exhaled softly before he pressed his tongue against the crook of Steve’s neck, licking away his sweat as Steve once again let free a whimper, “Fuck.”
Billy felt like the room had grown far too hot, almost blistering as he found his fingers twitching against the skin near Steve’s belly button. He kept reminding himself that he was okay, that he wasn’t actually doing anything. He wouldn’t let himself, no matter how badly he wanted to. 
“You’re such a good princess,” Billy teased, watching the way Steve rapidly blinked his hazy eyes, “Such a good cock slut, aren’t you?” He felt his own desire pooling into his stomach, the lust growing deep inside of his chest. He wanted Steve, in a way he’d never wanted anyone else before. 
Steve turned towards Billy then, his brown eyes shot and filled with lust as he parted his pink lips as another moan fell from his tongue. Billy felt himself digging his fingers deeper into Steve’s flesh, enjoying the feeling of Steve’s warm breath rolling over his features. He smelt like bubblegum. 
Their noses brushed against one another’s as Steve moved his hand faster along his cock, his eyebrows furrowing together as he writhed against Billy’s touch. Billy felt his own mouth parting, nearly feeding the temptation of meshing his mouth against Steve’s. 
He flicked his tongue across his bottom lip, as if he could lick away Steve’s heavenly sounds as he pressed himself closer against Steve’s round ass. He squeezed at his flesh, anchoring himself from moving any closer as Steve continued to rut into his hand. 
“S’yeah,” Steve spit out, looking a little desperate as Billy continued to drag his fingers in the hair underneath Steve’s belly button, “I’m your cock slut.” He whined as he twisted his hand a little harder, moaning at how easily he moved his hand along the length of his cock.
Billy was sure the sounds that Steve was making would forever haunt him. He’d never hear anything as melodic, as sinful and full of want and need again. It was better than the songs that he listened to. He savored the sound in his ears, praying that he’d never forget them as his cock continued to throb in his jeans. 
“Oh, oh,” Steve grunted as he moved his hand faster, his eyebrows knitting tightly together as he cried out, “Fuck, fuck, I’m cumming! Oh fuck!” He hissed entirely too loud, his whole body thrusting forward as he reached his eye.
Billy groaned, watching the thick globs of cum shoot out against the lockers. Steve painted them white as he shook, falling back against Billy’s grasp as he continued to whine and plead. His moans were nonsensical, broken apart as he tried to catch his breath. 
Billy pulled away for a moment, listening to the rough way Steve was breathing as he reached between his thighs. Steve halted, freezing as Billy scooped up a glob of cum onto his finger. Steve’s eyes were wide, shot as he watched Billy bring it up to his mouth.
Billy parted Steve’s lips slowly, utterly in awe with how Steve had such a slutty mouth. He had a craving to feel his lips against Steve’s, but he ignored it. Instead he pushed his spunk covered finger through Steve’s open lips, fighting back a groan at the way Steve instantly began to suck on it.
He watched the way Steve’s eyes darkened, how they gleamed like they awaited Billy's approval. Billy felt his air hitching in his lungs, enamored with the way Steve licked his finger clean. He allowed himself a second to savor Steve’s mouth around his finger, knowing that he’d picture Steve’s lips around his cock later.
“S’not bad,” Billy mumbled softly, unable to pull himself away as Steve seemed to creep closer to him, “You’ve got it all worked out now.” 
131 notes · View notes