I wanna be fucking normal. Why couldn't I have been normal?
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Bpd anger is a whole other fucking feeling.
I swear to fucking god. It literally makes me want to tear everything apart, tear it all down. It’s fucking killer. The constant switching between intense anger and drowning despair and sadness and depression is fucking killing me it's a constant cycle in less than a fucking hour less than fucking 30 minutes less than 15 I just can't I fucking can't. It makes me want to surrender myself to it. To let it overcome me. Just blind rage. And god help anyone who gets in my fucking way.
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the anger i feel towards ppl i love when i’m splitting is indescribable like i want to block them on everything and never speak to them again but then 5 mins later im sobbing over how much i love them it’s exhausting
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That fucking bpd rage where everyone's voices makes you want to scream and every noise around you makes you want to sh and you're so mad you can almost feel the cuts everywhere
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I may not be able to contain my rage anymore.
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you think you know what rage feels like?
have you ever had to write in excruciating detail how you would kill someone in the most personal way? have you had to draw it, visualize it and obsess over it so you can get it out from under your skin? have you ever been scared of yourself and what you’re capable of when you’re angry? have you ever felt like skinning yourself alive would not even be enough to stop the pure rage from imploding within?
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When I'm slightly overstimulated bc i didn't get enough time to get ready (which was my fault for not getting up) and i can't have a human interaction without ripping my hair out and screaming at you
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i never felt loved by my family which is why i always searched for it in the worst places because when you’re about to die of thirst, even a drop of poison tastes like heaven.
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I don’t enjoy things like how I’m supposed to. If I’m not insane about it, or obsessed or devastated or angry. I don’t care about it enough. I don’t love it.
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don't y'all just hate it when your fp has friends? and they talk to their friends? and about their friends? and post with their friends? and not you? and they're abandoning you for their friends? and you want their friends dead? and their friends have malicious intent? and their friends want to steal them from you? and they care about their friends more than you? and you want to die? and they forget about you? and you stop existing in their world? and their friends get more attention than you do? don't y'all just hate it? i hate it. i HATE it.
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I'm triggered and splitting. I fucking hate being dismissed and ignored. I didn't directly tell my boyfriend but left passive aggressive posts on Facebook for him to find later. I feel so much rage. And I'm supposed to control this? I'm supposed to control this overwhelming intense emotion?? Fuck that. I hate the world for ignoring me and then expecting me to stay quiet. This is the reason I isolate. Because people are huge disappointments. I'm not getting what I need from the world. I want to watch it burn.
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