there is something so extremely tragic about Thalia Grace. She was a child looking after her baby brother. just a nine year old little girl with a two year old boy clutching onto her sleeve while she tried desperately to protect him from their cruel world and their mother. She looks away from that little blonde boy for just one moment, and then he’s gone forever. Dead. She runs away from home. She meets another blonde boy. An older one. His eyes aren’t quite as blue as Jason’s, but he still reminds her of what her brother might’ve been if he’d only gotten the chance to grow old. they find another child in need of protection. A little girl with blonde curls like her mother’s. And this time is going to be different. This time Thalia won’t fail. This child will be safe. They will all be safe.
She is twelve years old when she dies alone on a hill to protect annabeth and luke. the closest thing that she had left to a family. I wonder if she thought of Jason as she lay there. I wonder if she saw her friends make it to safety as she fell. I wonder if she thought of home, wherever that was. A picnic in the forest with Jason? A safe house with Annabeth and Luke and Grover? An empty mansion in Pasadena? it doesn’t matter. because her body becomes a monument. In death, she can finally be the protector that she’d always tried to be. She’s a symbol of safety now, not a lost, scared little girl who was condemned to a life of hardship because of who her father was.
Except it’s not the end. Thalia comes back. Everything’s different now. The little girl that she once raised is now older than Thalia ever got the chance to be. Luke is gone. Thalia closed her eyes for the final time as a twelve year old girl and woke up a fifteen year old, suddenly the star of a prophecy that she’d never gotten the chance to learn about. To the campers, she’s still the tree on the hill, still that symbol of safety and hope. To Luke and his army, she’s a symbol of the failures of the gods. There is no space for Thalia Grace the person. She is now the figurehead of a war that she never wanted to fight, the mascot for a side that she’d never agreed to join, and the closest people in the world to her are total strangers now. and through it all, the clock keeps moving forward. She’s running out of time. There are at most four months between when she comes back and when the prophecy is scheduled to kick in. She has no time to breathe, no time to adjust, she’s just thrown back into the fight.
And then she chooses immortality. She’d never wanted to be the prophecy child. She’d never wanted any of this. All she’d wanted was to protect. All she’d wanted was safety. She’d lost everything. Jason was dead. Annabeth had grown up without her. Luke was someone that she didn’t recognize anymore. So she chooses to remove herself from the story. She is an eternal protector now, only one day from sixteen for the rest of her days. She watches from the sidelines as her friends grow up and move on without her. At least this time, she can be conscious through it.
Luke dies. She doesn’t get to say goodbye. She doesn’t get to see those blue eyes close for the last time. Another blonde haired blue eyed boy has been ripped away from her. Annabeth is sixteen now. She’s found love, friends, a place to belong. And Thalia is no longer a part of it. So she moves on and focuses on her duties as a huntress.
Jason is alive. Her first failure was all part of some greater plan. She’d never failed him at all. He was safe. He was her age now, but he was safe. He didn’t remember her, really, but that was okay, because he was alive and they had time to fix things. Except they don’t. Because he dies. She’d barely gotten him back before she loses him for good. The boy that she’d once held on her hip, the baby who drove her away from her mother, towards Luke and Annabeth and becoming more of a figurehead than a person, he’s gone. Neither of her blond boys got the chance to grow old. And Thalia is right back where she started: a tree on a hill, standing forever still while the world moves on around her.
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🇨🇳⚔️🇺🇲 💵 🚨
CHINA DUMPING US DOLLARS AS TRADE WAR BREWS
China has sold nearly $100 billion in US Treasury holdings since 2023, and nearly $49 billion in US Treasury bonds in just the last quarter.
The findings were published by the US Treasury Department and reported in the Business media, detailing a pattern of the People's Republic of China dumping US Treasury bonds as a trade war begins brewing between the two economic powers.
#source
@WorkerSolidarityNews
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So what advice WOULD you have for people who might suspect themselves to be autistic, especially those who can’t get an official diagnosis? /gen
Yeah sure, under the cut!
My philosophy focuses around problem solving and improving circumstances rather than focusing on getting or following the path of a diagnosis. So the first thing I recommend if you feel you're struggling, is start actually writing down things you struggle with. Big or small. And then for each, start making a plan on how to mitigate or remove your struggles. Obviously, easier said than done. Lord knows it takes a lot of time, effort, and discipline. However, the biggest thing, is keeping a mindset where it is: you have struggles with x. But this is not a permanent thing, this is something you can work on. You may not be as naturally adept as some people, but this is a challenge and you can face it and improve how it affects your life. This is something that has to be done whether you follow the whole diagnosis route or not, because it's the requirement for living, lol.
I will give an example from my own life.
Firstly, I have always very much struggled with food intake. Eating is something of a chore to me, a lot of food is repulsive (less so than before, thankfully), cooking is a lot of energy. Eating healthily is even more of an issue since you have to make and eat so much more of less calorically dense foods. Over the past 4 years, I've improved a lot though, though it has been trying at times. First, I catelogued my issues. My biggest issue is due to eating little, I wasn't getting enough calories, and I was always tired and weak. I was often sleepy, struggled to concentrate. I was on the verge of being underweight but considered not — yet, I had pretty life impacting symptoms. It was actually thought that I had more severe problems due to all the deficiencies I had. So, the first thing I did was seek out high calorie food that I could use to at least increase my energy. Preferably avoiding outright junk food, but basically, I started routinely trying to eat a meal with lots of carbs once a day. As my energy slowly increased, I started trying to fit in healthier snacks and whatnot, but ultimately (even now!) my goal, 100% is just making sure I get enough calories that I'm not tired tomorrow. It was difficult, especially since my appetite was so surpressed hunger didn't really come back until like 6 months in. Nowadays I do get hundry but still find it unfortunately easy to ignore, though I'm a lot better with it. Anyway, focused on high calorie foods. Once I had more energy, I worked on *cooking* high calorie meals. Literally, just like pasta. Noodles with poor man's pesto (garlic, basil, parm, salt). Ramen. I still eat that like once a day lol. My new challenge is shifting that a bit but it's a work in progress. Anyway, while I regressed some sometimes, I started regularly cooking a very very low effort meal once a day, and eating smth that made sure I had energy for the next day. A lot of my symptoms improved even though my diet was still essentially shit. Then, I also worked on taking a multivitamin. I am very bad at sticking with medications so frankly this is still on and off for me, but I'm planning on incorporating it into my morning routine before work and that should help. I did do this consistently for a while, and this helped. All this happened over 2-3 years. If I ever ate out, I made sure to get something with meat and vegetables since I knew I wasn't getting it at home. Now, my most recent success is I've started managing to meal prep and bring lucnhes to work. I do really simple air fryer chicken and rice/couscous, or fried rice (good for veggies). So far I've managed to consistently bring food, which is a goal I've never dreamed I'd be able to manage on my own! Super awesome. I also found 'drinking' my meals is easier sometimes, so I found smoothie mixes I can tolerate that have more nutritious things. And I do that sometimes. Anyway, I'm finally at the point where the struggle is less eating, and now more expanding my consistent cooking and making myself a better diet. But that is SIGNIFICANT success compared to where I was originally, when I wasn't cooking and I was barely eating and it was physically impacting my life in a way that made it much harder to claw my way out of. But, despite it taking a long time and having a lot of backsliding, I was able to significantly improve.
This sort of thing can be applied to mental health stuff, social stuff, etc. Basically, identify your issues, identify solutions — long term goals but also specific short term steps that will get you there. And then keep trying. Even when you fail. Even when you give up for a long while. Even when it feels like it isn't working. Keep trying. And eventually you'll have made progress even without realizing.
I also applied something similar to trying to work out how to socialize well. Which may be applicable for you. The best thing you can do in my experience is watch people, be confident, and try to pay attention and learn how to interpret people's comfort levels and what's common casual topics of conversation and what's not. Yes, it's hard, and it's usually not intuitive, and that's a big part of why you may feel you are autistic, because this seems entirely foreign in a way it's not to other people. But it is a skill you can learn. At this point, I can hold a conversation with my coworkers, even if we don't have much in common or if we have differing opinions or whatnot, I can have a good lunch conversation and come off as 'intense, but nice'. Which is a good thing to aim for. Like with the eating, I recommend a lot of reflection and efforts to catelogue and identify areas of struggle and how you can observe and practice improvement. The more you do all this, the more it will genuinely become less manual and more automatic, like driving a car. There's a lot you think about when you first start driving, that you aren't consciously thinking about 5 years later. It's the same way. And also, try not to take your fuckups too personally. And some people just won't like you. It is what it is. Just keep chugging.
I know, it is easy to sit here and be like "why should I have to figure out and stick with common topics of conversation? I'm not into those :/" Lord knows, I always felt dumb and out of place whenever people bonded over sports. But what these common topics are, their purpose is essentially like a little olive branch, a thing the person is offering to try and make it easier to chat by commiserating over a common thing, whether it's a issue, a thing yall like, or something else. I'll probably never manage to follow sports teams and I don't want to, but I will nod along as some guys talk and commiserate when they express feelings about wins or losses. The point is to bond. That's why the weather is such a huge topic. Small talk serves a huge purpose! The more you become familiar with how to casually hold a conversation with someone you don't know well over one of these topics, the easier it'll be, and most social stuff develops from that sort of thing. As you bond over the olive branch topics, you can flesh out anecdotes and experiences and personal stuff as you become better friends with people, rather than throwing it all at someone at once and hoping they catch and like you. It lets you sort of get a feel for people, and you can keep it at the small talk level instead of just not talking at all or immediately proceeding to best friends mode. It's a comfortable middle.
I also really recommend, for anyone, engaging and developing a fondness for the world around you, and practicing having appreciation for everything. It has helped my mindset and capability to keep trying. I really recommend learning to identify some category of things in nature in your area, because you'll feel more grounded in the world, you'll see more detail, and the world will feel less threatening.
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Martin and I visit New York City. Blog 3 of this series .
Continuing with 7/31/2011
7/31/2011 Sunday 11:54am
Greenacre Park. “A private park for public use.”
No cameras, no exercising, no kids and no pets except on a leash. There is a snack bar where they sell hot apple cider. NO ALCOHOL SOLD THERE.
It’s like a haven from the rest of 51st street.
MAC’s up showering. He feels better. His jangled body loosens.
Greenacre park is a good place to be just pre the World Trade Center (WTC) visit. There is a soothing waterfall int the park. A tribute to the WTC.
Sunday is a good day to visit the WTC. What were they all doing July 31, 2001, the people who died on 9/11/2001 at ground zero?
We were all 10 years younger.
Greenacre Park is also a nice place to think about my late partner Jim.
The ubiquitous, iconic, New York City water towers are visible from the park.
It’s kind of nice being in a place where photographs and exercise are not allowed. They are, in their own way, invasive.
This NYNY visit is not so much about running around and doing as it is about be.ing. Greenacre Park is perfect. A healing place.
It’s loud enough here because of the waterfall that it drowns out the city sounds. You can’t talk on the phone. It inspires and enforces contemplation. “My time”.
7 minutes to 2 pm
Martin beautifies. I sit by the air conditioner watching sun bathers on an adjacent roof top. “New Jersey, Pennsylvania, New York” the radio rambles.“Sleepy's Mattress Sale! “One of the comedians made fun of it last night. I thought He made Sleepy’s up! “Sleepy’s, the mattress of professionals.”
7/31/2011
9:14pm EST
Dark again. The taxi dropped us at ground zero (WTC). What is this? A mistake? Nothing there but tomb stones, an old church and big fences. And a half way finished new tower. A foreign man kept asking me “Is this all there is? Is this 9/11?”
10:28pm
MAC’s back. Breaking Bad’s on.
11:57pm
MAC and I just walked back from McDonald’s. It was sprinkling and cool/warm. MAC ordered food, but, didn’t eat
We were going to go to the Empire State Building after dark. He sleeps now.
My body aches, knees and arms. What’s wrong? Instead of working out, we walked around ground zero. The biggest acknowledgement of what happened at ground zero on 9/11/2001 is the ancient church cemetery across the street from ground zero. It stands as a silent soldier saying “this is what happened. This happened." And jets flew "through" the buildings as we stood there. Haunting. People at ground zero today talked and thought and inquired.
Then we taxied to the High Line elevated walking trail. MAC loved it. The plants. The buildings.
Then, back to the Pod Hotel for a rest.
Oh, MAC and I then went up on the Pod roof and looked around at the view from there of the City."
End of entry
Greenacre Park is located at 217 E 51st Street, New York, NY.
The Tower built to replace the WTC twin towers is called One World Trade Center . It was completed in 2014.
The September 11, 2001 attacks, per Wikipedia, were four coordinated Islamist suicide terrorist attacks carried out by al-Qaeda against the United States. Four jets were high jacked. Two were flown into the World Trade Towers. One was flown into the Pentagon. And one, flight 93, was forced by passengers to crash in Pennsylvania. A movie called “Flight 93” later came out about the events that transpired that day.
Breaking Bad was a TV series that MAC loved. It was about an all American White family that got heavily involved in drug manufacturing and sales. It was outrageous and fun at the same time.
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Is sign language something the Order teaches?
After asking that, I realise that it's much more likely that Handlers learn it as part of their education (being the one who engages with the common folk out of the duo).
But what if a Hunter wanted to learn it? Would they have to request being taught as well?
And outside of the Order, how is sign language treated in the overall world?
it is, actually! sign language is pretty widely taught as a second language in Adrania. that's not to say that everyone is fluent, though, and there are different dialects just like in real life (ie ASL vs BASL) if someone is fortunate enough to receive schooling they will typically study common sign language (which is mainly used for trade and is very formal), but whether or not they retain it and can still understand it varies from person to person, and again there are variations that will differ from the basic common version taught in a school. with the class divide in Adrania, i also imagine there would be a drastic difference between the culture and sign of lower classes (who most likely will not have received any kind of education) and the upper classes.
and you're right, Lea is the one that is more proficient in it between the two, mainly because they are the one doing most of the talking. the hunter has a basic understanding and can typically interpret signs, but isn't the best at signing themself. if you go with Merry in Blackwater, you can see her, Mal, and Branwen all sign to each other, with Branwen actually being hoh. the hunter recognizes that Branwen calls Merry a bastard, but for the most part the three sign too fast for the hunter to understand. Merry and Mal will continue to use sign throughout the story, and they actually use a variation that neither the hunter nor Lea will recognize, even if they were signing slower; think of it like the thieves cant, but in sign.
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