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#bruce tells ollie
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*At a Batfamily meeting*
Tim: As the only one in a committed relationship- Selina doesn't count after your whole wedding drama- I really feel-
Jason: what do you mean 'thE OnLY oNe', you aren't the only one
Tim: oh yeah, who else is in a serious committed relationship?
Jason: Me? I've literally been married for years?
Bruce: EXCUSE ME???
Dick: who to?
Jason: Roy
Dick: EXCUSE ME??? EWWW YOU AND ROY, GET THIS IMAGE OUT OF MY HEAD, MY FRIEND AND MY LITTLE BROTHER GROSSS
Jason: Wait, did none of you know? I literally call him my partner all the time
Tim: To be honest we thought you meant partner in crime, not marriage
Jason: I mean, both but still...
*Later, during the ✨vigilante hours✨ of the night*
Bruce: I hear you are married to my son
Roy, panicking cause Bruce is really protective of his kids: Oh, shit, um, yes- yes sir
Bruce: without my blessing
Roy: uh, yeah, we were on a time crunch, married couples can't testify against each other
Bruce: without inviting me to the wedding
Roy: I uh- you were gone that weekend, business trip
Bruce: I haVE A PRIVATE JET, I WOULD HAVE FLOWN IN! IT WAS MY SONS WEDDING, I WOULD HAVE LIKED TO HAVE BEEN THERE
Roy: I'm sorry, sir
Bruce: tell me one more thing
Bruce: was Ollie there?
Roy: No
Bruce: Does Ollie know
Roy: No
Bruce: your recompense is to allow me to be the one to tell him so I can brag to him that I knew first
Roy: uh, sure?
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gretahayes · 8 months
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Robin & Batman (2021) #1
WHAT THE FUCK. THIS IS SO SICK.
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milowing · 4 months
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i hate when people--especially dc writers-- act like damian is bruce's only child "i have a son" "he's become a father"
bruce doesn't have a son, he has four, and a daughter. bruce didn't become a father the day damian was born, he became a father when he realized that he needed to help a little boy who wanted revenge for his murdered parents. dick grayson was introduced in detective comics #38 in april of 1940. that's 11 months, 11 issues, and 11 appearances after bruce wayne was first introduced. that's years before alfred, or barbara, or the first batman and superman interaction. batman has been a father since before the idea of extended superhero universes existed. this is not new, and the idea that it is is frankly insulting, not only to the character, not only to the fans, but to anyone who's ever had family they are not blood-related to.
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thequiver · 2 years
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I think the thing that people miss when they say that Ollie, like many other heroes in the JL, puts himself above the people he serves is that he just….. doesn’t…… the man has an ego for sure, but he’s not interested in being above the people he serves by any means.
Ollie stands trial for things he does as Green Arrow as Oliver Queen. He doesn’t prioritize a secret identity because as evidenced in JL comics from the 60s, Ollie isn’t a hero for the aggrandizement, he’s a hero because he believes in people and he pushes down the desire for fame and self import because people believe in him. For him being a hero is just as much about being held accountable as it is about serving others- because he doesn’t think that there’s anything heroic in causing more damage to people’s lives, so he lets a justice system he views as corrupt pass judgement on his extra-judicial actions because it’s a symbol to the people that he works for them rather than for himself, that he’s willing to take criticism and to subject himself to punishment when he does wrong.
Ollie’s entire schtick with the JL is that he’s constantly telling them to remember who they work for, that they don’t work for the team they work for the people. He doesn’t like their HQ being physically above the world because it can lead to them “looking” down on people. He funds the league but doesn’t try to run it because he’s not interested in being in charge, he’s just interested in helping. He doesn’t trust the league but he understands why it needs to exist which is why when he has money he funds it. He wonders who watches the JL, who is supposed to keep them in check? He’s the one asking and pushing for ways to make sure that the League keeps sight of their true purpose. He’s viewed as the least corruptible member of the league, the most moral, the least likely to turn.
Yes Ollie was raised rich and he comes from a privileged background and you can absolutely see that in the way he carries himself and in the literature that clearly defined his sense of self (I’m working on a meta about this)- but more than that Ollie is also a man who’s had nothing, a man who needed saving, and a man who saw what little sympathy was given to a rich and powerful man who had experienced great trauma and stopped to think about how little must be given to those without his wealth and power and set out to do something about it.
If you want to point fingers at JL members looking for power or placing themselves above others there are other heroes to look at with significantly more evidence to that point.
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townoffobo · 2 years
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hal jordan my beautiful sopping wet cat of a person babygirl boyfriend
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i feel like the annual Wayne Foundation Charity Gala is the gotham equivalent of the Met Gala with different themes every year but if anyone doesn’t stick to the theme they get forcibly removed
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just-about-nothing · 1 year
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whyd dc cuck oliver queen by making him rich again we have bruce we dont need two billionaire assholes running around we need one billionaire asshole and a blond asshole who wants to redistribute his wealth more than anything else and theyre constantly fighting about it
i hear your bruce & oliver were frenemies in boarding school headcanon & raise you actually oliver has no money & thinks bruce is lame as fuck for being rich and wants to fight him on sight for it
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Earlier today @sun-moon-stars-jedi and I were talking and I canNOT get the idea of Bruce Wayne, Oliver Queen, and Harvey Dent, in their early 20s, getting drunk and playing strip Twister out of my head.
I just—
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covertblizzard · 2 years
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Kyle trauma dumping on Ollie out of NOWHERE I did NOT see that coming
But the results of trauma dumping is apparently positive! Ollie’s like... fine I guess I can be a mentor figure to this kid. (I also want to say, the artist for this series is INSANE, the way they captured his emotions in those three panels after Kyle asked his question...)
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ivoryteeth · 1 year
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someone on the justice league should just enter the meeting, tell everyone "guys, bruce isnt handsome.... clark is handsome, hal is handsome. bruce is pretty" & then leave
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batfamhyperfixation · 10 months
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The fun game of which headcanon would I like better:
A) one of the batkids playing welcome to the black parade by MCR and Bruce knowing every word cause of course he does, he went through an emo phase (he's still in his emo phase), he listened to it on repeat when it came out to the point that even Alfred can recite the lyrics, it was his inspiration for the Batman mantle
Or
B) one of the batkids playing welcome to the black parade by MCR and Bruce BECOMING obsessed with it, like he's never heard it before but the lyrics hit him hard and he then forces anyone near him to listen to it on repeat for weeks cause he plays it everywhere he goes, he gets into all their other songs, and he, as a middle aged father of 7, goes through the MCR black parade aspect of his emo phase
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frownyalfred · 1 month
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I am begging for more slut Bruce headcanons- PLEASE-
once had a dick-sucking competition with Oliver Queen in school and won by a full ten points (this is the first thing that comes to Ollie's mind when he finds out Bruce is Batman, unfortunately)
sometimes he just sits down in people's laps as a power move. it works.
learned how to look artfully mussed and disheveled from none other than notorious GILF alfred pennyworth
sometimes he and Dick infiltrate Gotham nightclubs for info and a lot of people have trouble telling them apart in the dim lighting
has ranked the Justice League in order of objective fuckability for a contingency plan and Hal Jordan is actually at the top, to his horror
occasionally shows up to Wayne Enterprises board meetings and flagrantly hits on everyone regardless of age except Lucius and Bob's wife (who's very nice) as a semi-annual intimidation tactic (it also works)
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emma-d-klutz · 1 month
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Clark telling someone on the Daily Planet who only knows him vaguely as a coworker that, sorry, he really cant take any of that Wayne Ent job off him. Why? Well he sure would like to be of help but journalistic integrity and all. Oh you don't know? Wayne is one of his best friends. No for real. No really! Like probably slot 5 of his top 5 favorite people in the world if he's ranking. (No, Lois isn't first. His mom is first. Which Lois knows but don't like say that I said that.) Right Wayne! No yeah for real love the idiot. You haven't seen him come around? Yeah and he always calls Clark the wrong name as a joke because we're friends. Dude I'm not lying to get out of this! Why would I lie? Ok yeah it is an annoying assignment...
Hang on.
Clark texts someone on his phone. Waits a beat. Gets a text back. Calls someone. It's ringing. It picks up.
"You're on speaker, B."
"Sorry just had to get somewhere quieter-" It is so loud in the background Wayne is nearly screaming into the phone. "Oh yeah Clark was with me all last week. Whatever you saw was someone else. In fact, he saved my life up there. I broke part of my spine on a fall and was partially paralyzed instantly, and he had to carry me over his shoulder. But then after five hours of carrying me, his adrenaline gave out, and so did his legs. So we're both on the ground in a pile right near the ledge, and we start sliding that direction, and I think to myself -I distinctly remember- I think to myself that if we're going to die, at least I get to die looking at intrepid reporter Clark Kent, who is waaay more ripped than he looks with a shirt on and has the most soulful blue eyes. And then we were saved or something because he's such a genius that he rewired his phone and rigged it to get a signal even in the middle of nowhere on the fly and called for a helicopter. Or something like that. I don't know. But yeah thats why Clark's been gone, and if you thought you saw him, you saw someone else. I mean that haircut is everywhere. Did you know he set that trend? Anyway I gotta go."
The line goes dead. Clark and the coworker look blankly at each other for a moment.
".....You were here all last week."
"Sorry. I didn't text him why I needed him to say he knows me, so I think he just.... tried to cover all the bases."
(Bruce is in several layers of method acting ofc but Jimmy, Hal, Ollie, Dinah, Kara, and several more all gleefully corroborate it immediately when given the opportunity and even yes-and onto it, and now Clark's journalistic integrity is going towards reminding his coworker that he was here last week I promise they're all doing bits )
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Hey I'm new here, may I offer a thought I can't get rid of?
Dick: Bruce, listen to me. Jason is on his way to tell you he's in a relationship with Roy
Bruce: WHAT-
Dick: SILENCE. You have GOT to be cool about this. You two are finally on speaking terms. Alfred will take us both out if Jason stops coming to family dinner.
Bruce: But-
Dick: SHUT UP
Jason: Bruce, I got something to tell you. Roy and I are dating.
Bruce: ... congratulations! I'm so happy for you.
Jason:
Jason: Actually we're getting married. Three weeks is long enough.
Bruce: I couldn’t be more proud! Let me know if you want me to contribute-
Jason: You know what? Ollie is paying for it.
Bruce: *in visible pain* How wise. You should bond with your in-laws.
Jason:
Jason: DICK YOU RUINED MY MOMENT I WANTED TO GIVE HIM A HEART ATTACK YOU FUCKER
Welcome. Thank you for the thought, I adore it.
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alyakthedorklord · 8 months
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Part 3 of Batman the Playboy, in which I change my mind about the reveal in part 2:
Batman: “So you didn’t notice?”
-justice league record scratches-
GL, horrified: “No. there’s no way, there’s absolutely no way…”
Batman’s grin would fit better on a supervillain, before he suddenly, miraculously, transforms. He leans back, tilts his head, the smirk isn’t evil but instead inviting and amused: “Really, Mr. Jordan, your job is just so fascinating… tell me more about planes…”
GL: 😨
Batman, turning on the rest of the league, one by one, changing his body language ever so slightly for each person: “Mr. Allen, I do hope you’ll entertain me again if I’m ever back in central, I had a grand time. Dinah darling, I stand by what I said, Ollie was SO much nicer to kiss when we were in college. Princess, the boys and I are in your debt. Mr. Jones…”
Batman’s mind goes no thoughts, head empty. Martian Manhunter is both impressed and embarrassed, nodding in understanding as Batman turns to the final hero, smiling sweetly, brain still empty as a blank sheet of paper: “And, Mr. Kent…”
Batman steps closer, hand on Superman’s chest, hip cocked, Brucie Wayne smile in full effect: “Our conversation got… cut off, the other night, because I wasn’t sure if you’d be okay with me going further, which is a damn shame. Call on me, won’t you?”
Superman, realizing why a very eager Brucie Wayne stopped their makeout session short: “…huh? OH- um.. uh huh.”
Green Arrow, short circuiting: “No fucking- BRUCIE? How? How is that possible?”
Batman, backing away from a shutdown superman, the physical mask on his face hardly the most effective one in his arsenal: “Because I’m Batman.”
Bonus for @help-i-need-a-cool-username: Hal Jordan STILL doesn’t know who bruce wayne is.
a few months later:
GL: “So this big old money billionaire guy in gotham is connected to this, i think he’s called Wayne or smth.”
Justice league: “…”
Flash, had a FULL DAY of Brucie and was VERY aware of who he was with: “Uh… Hal?”
Green Lantern, who heard Bruce’s name in passing, while distracted, under loud club music + has tried to erase that night from his memory: “what?”
Batman, under his breath: “We can find your secret identity so easily, batman, you’re not that good, Batman, we’re just being polite, Batman.” Sure you fucking can, Jordan. You know, it’s polite to remember the names of people who you’ve fondled.”
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tarragonthedragon · 2 days
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the difference between the bats and the arrows is that ollie has more than once snapped his kids out of brainwashing/depression/the morbs by standing there unarmed and telling them to shoot him whereas if bruce tried that with 90% of his kids they would assume it was a 5D chess manipulation tactic and either shoot him immediatly to call his bluff or have an all-out breakdown (or both)
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