#bruce wayne

[itsdabatt]

happy national impersonate your favorite vigilante day to those who celebrate

[frownyalfred]

the thing about being a self-professed slut is that people really, really don’t want the details. Bruce Wayne limps into a boardroom at Wayne Enterprises, makes finger guns at Lucius Fox, and loudly says rough night with a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows.

suddenly no one in that room is pressing him for details. they absolutely don’t want further illustration of whatever encounter Wayne had last night, and that’s exactly why they ignore the clearly broken and taped ribs, the way the limp is a strained ankle and not something else, the puffiness to his nose that suggests someone hit him in the face with a closed fist, multiple times. one look at that suggestive, playboy smile and the rest of the details fade away.

[incorrectbatfam]

Each kid has a different sweatshirt from a college that Bruce dropped out of send tweet

[batfam-stuff-posts-0]

Imagine: Bruce gets the ability to see people's kill counts

He's not surprised to see that Damian's and Jason's are pretty high.

He's not surprised to see that Dick's is pretty low, for a vigilante.

He's shocked to see that Tim's is way higher than he'd thought (he would be asking about that later...).

He faints when he sees Alfred's.

[incorrect-batfam-quotes-mostly]

Bruce: TIM! Are you ok? I heard screaming

Tim, in tears: I had a nightmare about the duolingo owl

Bruce, who's parenting books have not prepared him for this: ....what

Jason, from the other room: HOOT HOOT

Tim: screaming

[tiger-grace]

(Batman gets de-aged in a fight)

Duke: he really does look like Damian if you squint, doesn’t he?

Jason, walking in: oh, look, it’s the poster child for untreated youth mental illness

Tim: no, thats Bruce, not-

Jason: did I stutter

[caffeinatedvigilantewriter]

So Danny has an ice core. But i don’t think that Dani had an elemental core that was mentioned in the show.

So in this prompt, Dani has an earth core. She’s getting used to using it, practicing almost daily when she’s alone.

Until one day, someone sees her.

Ra’s comes across a girl with incredible earth magic and kidnaps her, forcing her to teach his grandson Damian her magic.

Damian was only 4 to her 12, but he was liminal enough so that he could develop a core. A shadow core.

If Dani was honest, she didn’t hate her years with the LOA. Ra’s was a creep, but Talia treated and referee to her as a daughter. She knew the Leuage was bad news, but they gave her a home.

Damian was young, he didn’t understand blood relations in family. So when he saw his mother treat Dani like a daughter, he just assumed her was her sister and just never end mentioned his thoughts. After all, Mother never mentioned she before, so Damian thought he shouldn’t either.

Meeting his father only solidified his theory. Dani and Bruce look similar enough. He also never mentions another sister other than Cass.

It was only a couple years later that Damian’s magic is found out and her goes

Damian: I don’t know why you’re so surprised, your other daughter also has magic. Mother never has any so it must come from you

Everyone looks at Bruce: … your other WHAT??

Bruce: …🤨😟😣😩

Even better if Danny has already joined the JLD and meets Damian and Damian is like

Damian: 🤨🤨

[thebat-musicman]

9 year old Dick: If you’re a friendless loser and you know it, clap your hands!

Bruce:

Dick: Clap. Your. Hands.

Bruce: *clap clap*

———

12 year old Jason: HEY YOU!

Jason: HEEEEEY YOU!

Jason: HEY! YOU!

Bruce: It’s not polite to not call people by their names, Robin.

Jason: Nice try, Hey You. I know my mentor’s name.

———

13 year old Tim: You see this coffee, Bruce?

Bruce: Thank you for making this for m-

Tim: This is my coffee. You are having water. Only people who don’t break mugger’s fingers get coffee.

———

Clark: Batman, your Robins are so polite. They must have been a joy to raise.

Bruce, through clenched teeth: Such a joy.

[theaceofarrows]

Gotham citizen memes

[spicy-apple-pie]

I'm literally so excited for this part!!! Mostly because I get to draw Talia and I think it's actually illegal for her not to serve cunt

Prev / Index

Commission Info / Kofi

[ky-landfill]

[frownyalfred]

there has to be this certain kind of fear that hits, as a Bat, when you reach for your belt mid-battle and there’s nothing left. no explosives, no batarangs, no more knives or weapons or anything you can use in close quarter combat. the fear hits you like a ringing bell, and then you take a breath. you calm down and remember Bruce’s training. the very specific lesson he’d given on exactly this moment — when your gloved fingers scrape at nothing and you only have your wits to save you.

every time, every single Bat has come back from that moment of fear. maybe they don’t emerge uninjured, but they never give up. they never sit back and say there’s nothing I can do, now.

[incorrectbatfam]

[in the car]

Damian: Aww.

Selina: What's wrong?

Damian: It's gone.

Selina: What is?

Damian: My tarantula.

Bruce: *tenses up*

Selina: Okay, was it in the jar when we left the house?

Damian: Well yeah, I was just feeding it.

Bruce, paralyzed with fear: Selina, find the spider.

Selina: Bruce, I'm trying.

Bruce: Selina.

Selina: Don't stress me, sweetie. Where were you feeding it?

Damian: On the seat.

Bruce: I have a phobia of spiders, you know this!

Selina: Bruce, just calm down.

Bruce: Oh God, oh man...

Selina: Look under your seat, look under your dad's seat.

Damian: I did, it's not there.

Selina: Sweetie, does it have a name? Can we call it?

Bruce: Oh God.

Damian: Fred.

Selina: Fred? Okay. Fred?! Come here, Fred!

Bruce: OH GOD, OH MAN!

[later at school]

Damian: ... Which is how I was able to bring him here to show everyone today.

Damian: *holds up empty jar*

Damian: Aww.

[pinkiemachine]

BatFam Shenanigans—The Model Incident—Part 21

Part 20 👇

[batfam-stuff-posts-0]

When Bruce gets injected with truth serum

"Who's your favorite"

Everyone looked at Jason.

"Out of the four of us," he clarified. "Who's your favorite?"

He, Dick, Tim, and Damian turned to Bruce curiously.

"Well..."

Bruce proceeded to go on and on for over 3 hours about how he didn't actually have a favorite and how proud he was of all of them, only interrupted when Alfred walked in and Bruce started about how he was the best butler-dad ever.

None of them could honestly say they weren't at least a little teary.

[donnatroyyyy]

Steph: I’ve come to terms with the fact that my livers are gonna fail by my 30s, but until then I’m gonna enjoy as many painkillers and as much dehydration as possible

Cass: yeah I get that

Steph: you love to drink water

Cass: oh no I wasn’t talking about that, I mean that I’ve come to terms with dying by my 30s

Duke*in passing*: if Bruce hasn’t yet you won’t