#btw I freaking love Monster Energy

[ocean-candy-fish]

I almost forgot to post this here-- 

But... 

Idia Shroud Sketches... The rare once-in-a-blue-moon special Idia event Drawing Sketch is here... 🥰🦈

[sweetiecutie]

Hi!

I fell in love with ur underbedmonster!simon au!

And I am sure everybody else fell in love with it.

Can we get some more stories with monster simon? If it's no problem, of course :)))

Love your work btw <33

A/n: sure you can, I think that this trope is my new obsession🫣☺️

Warnings: smut, mdni, possessiveness, monsterfucking, tentacle fucking

Part 1 || Part 3 || Part 4

Underbed monster! Simon who was slightly startled by such sudden change in your aura - once sugary sweet and syrupy turned into bitter and pungent, causing creature to sputter and hiss begrudgingly at the taste, his ears (or whatever that was that he had) straining to hear any words coming from you that could explain this drastic shift in your emotions.

Underbed monster! Simon who listened attentively as you spoke on the phone with your best friend, choking on your own tears and sobs as you told them how you broke up with your now ex boyfriend, about the ugly fight you had, how he called you numerous names, shattering your heart in million pieces just with his cruel words.

Underbed monster! Simon who felt rage simmering somewhere deep within him. How dare that pathetic scumbag treat you like that!? Yes, Ghost did torture you with horrible nightmares quite a few dozens times, but you were his human, his to scare, his to taunt, his to fuck, no one else’s. He felt possessive and angry, he wanted to soothe your poor little heart, to make all the pain go away so you could feed him more and more of that honey-like energy that your pleasure exuded.

Underbed monster! Simon who finally decided to take matters into his own hands after keeping a close eye on you when your state didn’t seem to get any better. Ghost sneaked out some of the sweets from kitchen to your bedroom so you had something to munch on, making you confused as to how those candies seemed to magically appear on your bedside. Simon tried keeping the house tidy and clean for you in hopes that it’ll make you get better soon, he even did your laundry once, causing you to freak out at the sight of your clothes, freshly washed and still damp, hanging off the rope to dry out.

Underbed monster! Simon couldn’t be more happier, watching your attention finally shift from your shithead ex to him. Simon was purposefully lurking right in the corner of your vision, making his presence in the house way more obvious. He watched with fierce amusement as you grabbed the sharpest knife from the kitchen, inspecting every nook and cranny of the house, not finding any signs of intrusion or anything that could’ve given a clue about another person’s presence, scrunching up your pretty eyebrows in confusion.

Underbed monster! Simon who fully revealed himself for the first time in your dream, standing in his full glory in front of small scared you, your breathing quickening in your sleep as you inspected his tall dark form, two red eyes glaring down at you from above. You felt paralysed as you watched this creature raise its smokey limb that slightly resembled human arm, cold tentacle fingers brushing your cheek, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear affectionately. And all of the sudden all fear and anxiety vanished, leaving place for curiosity and amazement as you studied monster’s features closer, not feeling threatened nor endangered by him. Slowly its mouth opened - even blacker that the rest of him, his voice clear and lucid, ringing right inside of your head “Wake up”

Your eyes snapped open - you were laying in your bed still, crumpled sheets dug into your back unpleasantly but you couldn’t care less as you stared straight into those crimson orbs, cold tentacles slithering up and down your sides, wrapping tighter around your limbs, immobilising you completely. Underbed monster! Simon just purred audibly at your obedience and lack of resistance, branching a few more extremities to slip under the hem of your pyjama top and wrap around your nipples, tugging and tweaking on them softly.

Underbed monster! Simon who growled satisfactorily at the small wet patch that started forming on your panties, slowly rubbing your sweet pussy while applying more and more pressure to his touch, watching you writhe and whine underneath him, begging for more.

Underbed monster! Simon who purred as he slipped a thick tentacle past the hem of your panties, stuffing your fluttering cunny so full of himself, finally that rich taste of your pleasure simmered right through him, filling his ghastly body with strength and energy he lacked all this time you were depressed. Newfound strength just nagged him into fucking you faster and harder, twisting out your nipples and rubbing your clit rapidly, all while forcing his thick tentacles in and out of your leaking cunt, making you scream and tremble in his inescapable grasp as fourth orgasm rippled through your weakened body, pure pleasure surging through your veins, hogging up your mind and making you incapable of thinking.

Underbed monster! Simon who only let you go when first sun rays peaked in through bedroom’s window, leaving you a fucked-out yet blissful mess, pinching you on your cheek affectionately before slipping under your mattress, curling up like a huge lazy cat and falling asleep, full of your delicious pleasure.

And even hours later as you peeked under your bed you could see a huge black spot there, still and unmoving; and if you listened closely enough you could hear your underbed monster purr softly in its sleep, happy and properly nourished.

That’s quite a pet that you have now, eh?

Likes, reblogs and comments are highly appreciated, don’t be shy to give writers some love! Requests are open, so send me some stuff<3

[ckret2]

still so sad that one thing we didn’t get to see during weirdmageddon is bill actually partying. like how does this triangular freak get down. i admit he’d probably lose all intimidation factor if we got to see him do karaoke or something but come on

love the fic btw!!

he should've at least got a red solo cup

I do like what it adds to his characterization—he's spent eons upon eons trying to start this "party," and then once he finally does he just hovers over it and watches. There's so much you could potentially read into that.

Doesn't feel close enough to his own "friends" to party with them and so has to stand somewhat apart from them, King Wallflower at his own party? Sees himself as so far above everyone else there that he'd rather arrogantly survey the rabble from above than lower himself enough to join in with them? So preoccupied with the work of Weirdmageddon—rounding up locals, weirdifying the town, spreading to the rest of the world—that he can't relax? Found that after an eternity of waiting for this moment, he's not any happier than he was before?

but all that said—

one time in college i went to a party, but they were charging guests at the door to buy a solo cup you'd use for the night, but i didn't want to drink and thought i oughta get in without having to buy a cup since i wasn't gonna be taking any of the booze, and they said i had to buy a cup anyway, and i thought that was stupid so i left without going in—but anyway, someone had parked a pickup in the front lawn, lined the bed with trash bags, and filled it with a hose, and a half dozen kids were sitting in the pickup in their underwear like a jacuzzi.

i think bill shoulda got to do that. I think that's the kind of stupid thing he'd think is wild and cRaZy and fun. I think he shoulda been sitting in some kind of alien monster truck pickup jacuzzi when time baby busted in, and panicked because he was naked (he'd taken off his bow tie and hat). he built the Fearamid, he could have just ADDED a jacuzzi, but that doesn't have the same energy as sitting in a wet pickup.

[ayuki-ikuya]

I come bringing ideas and headcanons.

OK, so we all already know what The Three oldest archons abilities. So I’ve come up with my own ideas we could use for the younger archons! (And yes I’m grouping Ei, Venti and Zhongli as the older siblings since Ei Is 1000 years old Venti is 2,500 and Zhongli is 5,000-6,000 and the other archons are still in the hundreds I think)

Again these aren’t canon just stuff you can use for future Requests for Twisted wonderland x Teyvat God! Reader

For Dendro archon!Reader

Definitely a Bow User. And Is a Healer. But the their Ult can cause damage

I have a theory That during the Archon War The dendro Archin created the Regisvines to fight for them, and only two were left. I also Headcanon The dendro archon can bring plants to life and overwrite what each plant can do. (Maybe even bring mushrooms to life 👀).

Maybe They can create a giant plant from the ground that spreads Healing energies and since this is a god where talking about can Cure Curses (Ahem Vils Curses Ahem) and major Diseases and what not.

For Their Ult maybe a giant plant monster (kinda like how Gouba and Oz exists ) that will attack for them (could make for fun combos with different elements like if the dendro archon was wet Hydro Plant monster)

For Hydro archon!reader

Polearm or sword (theirs way too many Hydro Catalyst) Healer and Dps, Why? Cause I say so.

You’ve mentioned how Hydro archon summons a giant wave? I’ll do you one better and their E skill summons a giant sea creature of your choosing to soak the fighters (A cool visual is their polearm turning into a big dream catcher then going swoosh and Baam Maybe like A giant Water Koi fish finna drown your ass *ahem ace ahem*)

Now mihoyo likes to reference Their character form honkai impact into genshin impact (and since they took a characters look from Honkai and another characters abilities with the whole Dual ego thing for Raiden shogun and Ei) I’m gonna base this Ultimate Skill From a character from Honkai (for research search up Herrsercher of Sentience)

Since the Hydro archons whole thing is about Justice. Now here me out here. WATER WHIP. Just a giant whip of water that can go on for miles (maybe it’s salty maybe it’s like fresh water depends on our readers mood lolol). Like, It’s whip of water strong enough to cut diamond or whatever it would be very cool (Kalim would wanna see if he could do something like that with his UM Que jamil trying to stop him)

Maybe their hair turns into water too.

Pyro archon! Reader

Claymore. A Big strong war god needs a big strong weapon. Dps and Defense.

Now It’s not just one claymore, It’s DUAL-CLAYMORE, why? Cause it’s a war god that’s why!

I like to think the shield is like Xinyans and XiangLings combined and it’s constantly sending off tiny Fire Discs. Or just symbols shooting fire like what the Pyro Abyss mages can do

For Ultimate I like to think it’s like Childes Daggers but Bigger and on fire just a huge sword made of fire.

The pyro archon doesn’t think just BURNS. and STABE

Cryo archon! Reader

I can’t really come up with much for Cryo archon. But maybe a Catalyst that can summon a giant blizzard that drops down giant ice swords (kinda like Ganyus)

Definitely a sub DPS.

Maybe a healer too since The Tsaritsa is The archon of love?

What do you think about these abilities? Since you mentioned that the students and staff would assume their just strong mages I tried to be very creative with these abilities.

Also how I think the lore could go is maybe somewhere after leonas overblot and before azuls, Crowly has found a way to send Yuu home reluctantly. Yuu, grim and the aduece duo, and maybe some of heartslaybul or savana claw whoever you want come with them to the office to send them home. But Yuu is contemplating whether or not they WANT to go home now. But something goes wrong, maybe grim messes up the spell for the portal to work becuase (although he doesn’t want to admit it ) doesn’t want Yuu leaving, and their greeted with a surprise guest. Now this gives Yuu time to decide if they genuinely wanna go home and when teh archon finally has the materials they need to create a portal Yuu will tell them to leave the portal open (maybe put it into a tiny pocket mirror like the how we have the teapot) because they wanna stay for a little while or just until grim graduates (Que a happy fire cat ) and the archon whose grown attached to some people here was like ok “let our friends visit whenever they want, only if their headmaster allows it”

Now onto the headcanons

Anemo Archon! Reader and Mondstadt! Yuu

Everyone expected a lot of things not a person with Green eyes and (H/C) hair with green highlights. And an odd thing about them was the glowing stone on their person, Yuu didn’t have that?

Everyone’s freaking out because they’ve accidentaly taken another person from Yuus world.

And since Venti Is a well known famous bard In teyvat let’s say or Dear (y/N) is also a known bard and is not at all freaking out about what’s going on in fact let’s say our dear reader recognizes Yuu! And so now (Y/N) is now a new student (and a new headache for Crowley) in the ramshackle dorm! Yup! Just an ordinary human bard, Ehe~.

I’ll leave the rest of this up to you, Where Yuu has to explain what the world of teyvat is like (and why Yuu doesn’t have a phone (and a vision) because Twisted wonderland is far more advance in Technology and teyvat has JUST invented the Camera)

Also I head canon that people with Visions can summon their weapons and object with their visions, ok? Ok. To make things make more sense when reader pulls out a lyre from floating glitter.

Geo archon!reader and Liyue! Yuu

Same things happend here, but hey! We’ve summoned a Funeral Consultant! A very (ahemATTRACTIVEahem) Wise funeral consultant at best!

Our dear Friend (y/n) is very calm about the situation as well. After all everyone and liyue knows their god was killed and The Adepti are watching over them

So Our dear reader is seeing this as a free vacation 😊

Electro Archon!Reader and Inazuma!yuu

Since the god of Inazuma isn’t “Dead” or hasn’t left and the people know what their beloved archon looks like, Yuu will definitely Be Freaking the fuck out

“YOU DIDNT BRING ME HOME YOU JUST SUMMONED MY PEOPLES FUCKING GOD OH SHIT”

insert the meme of the womens face that gets zoomed in on the second panel “the. WHAT.” 😃

And y’know how Eis “Hello” voice line where she makes the traveler her guard she says the same thing to Yuu except “I recognize you are one of my people as your archon I shall be your guard and keep you safe from any danger in this Foreign world” and let’s say The puppet will not be used and Reader will be in control becuase they don’t have to worry about erosion right now so the puppet will be resting while (Y/N) is in control protecting their Precious Inazuma citizen is ok.

Well until They can get the materials they need to open a portal. I’ll let you figure out the rest, but congrats ramshackle you now have a god in your abode 😃✨

-Plot Anon 💗

PLOT ANON-SAMAAAAAAAAAA ILY!!!!!!!!! Thank you for your hard work sob

Anyways, for skills of the archons-

Dendro Archon

I think they'd use a sword or a catalyst tbh, if the skills you listed, it makes a little more sense to have them be more of a catalyst

For their elemental skill, I think they'd summon/throw something similar to Klee's and Aloy's elemental skill except they heal if someone in your party is nearby, their healing could scale by their EM or ER.

For their burst, I like your head canon for the Dendro Archon, so I might go off from that and your idea for their burst, just more tweaking. The dendro archon would be able to summon a large plant that heals AND deals Dendro damage by sapping mobs hp. The amount of life sapping it does and the healing would scale off their original HP (artifacts that give hp won't be of use)

Hydro Archon

I agree with hydro polearm or sword. Too many catalysts

Mmm... To be honest, I think you should have the burst be her skill... The whip idea is intriguing, but I think it would work more for a skill which can allow them to use it several times before waiting for the CD to go down. I think the whip skill would work better with Crit as well.

AND AS FOR THE MENTIONS OF WAVE AND A SEA CREATURE, I'LL DO YOU ONE BETTER BUT FOR THEIR BURST!!!! They summon a large tsunami which takes form of a monster/animal and lunges at the mobs (similar to Zhongli tossing down a dumbbell), however the amount of damage the burst can do is depending on if they are afflicted by the wet status the mobs are afflicted by. If already afflicted with hydro, the mobs would receive double damage while those with other elements afflicted on them would receive the element combination DMG and normal DMG while those that aren't affected by an element, they would receive normal damage. The amount of damage the burst does is scaled by EM.

Pyro Archon

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA CLAYMORE

Hmmm.... I think the skill would be they set an AoE with magma, mobs will receive damage from it and will continue to receive damage if they stay on it, but those who are in party, they will receive an ATK boost that scales from HP.

For the burst, I think I'll use a character from Honkai Impact with their special move which is Murata Himeko in Vermilion Knight: Eclipse battlesuit. Pyro Archon uses their claymore and another claymore but made of pyro and is far more larger and their cut scene has the Archon raise the pyro claymore above their head and slam it down to send pyro erupting from the ground (similar to the pyro axe wielding hilichurls)

Cryo Archon

I agree with catalyst

Mmmmmm.... I'd say her skill would beeeeee... Trapping several mobs or so in ice. They can either do 2-4 ice traps depending if you got their c1. (The ice traps are similar to Mirror Maidens traps BTW but it deals or affects the mobs with cryo)

For burst, I like the idea of summoning a blizzard/swords, but it's similar to Ganyu's. SO I'LL DO YOU ONE BETTER!!!! Cryo Archon will summon a blizzard which freezes mobs without having to use hydro, the freeze status lasts for a total of 15 seconds or higher if you got their c3

Hmmm... I like the idea, but imma tweak it a bit. The archon was in fact summoned through that portal because Grim decided to mess it up just for Yuu to stay a little longer, and so the Archon now resides in Twisted Wonderland as well in order to aide them until they can return back to their world. That way it makes more sense and makes it more fun.

Anemo archon

Yuu would be a bit jealous about them because they got a vision.

Crowley needs to hide his money

Sam has been strictly told to not give them wine that Sam stores in his shop...

Vargus is conflicted about them because they legit float without magic

Trein recurved a major headache

Divus is praying to whatever god existing to take them back

Ehe

EHE TE NANDAYO!?

Geo Archon

Yuu feels awkward meeting the consultant of the funeral parlor having to meet the Director...

Crowley is praying for dear god for them to go away.

"STOP TAKING MY MONEY YOU GORGEOUS FIEND" - Crowley

Train + Crewel + You = Besties

Sam was literally threatened to not joke around with you with business.

You legit did not fuck around with people when in contracts.

"Osmanthus wi-"

"SHUT THE HELL UP" - everyone

Electro Archon

Yuu is literally terrified in "your" presence.

Shogun malfunctioned due to being in an entirely new world so you had to disable Shogun's rules and create new ones regarding this world.

Yuu is still unaware of Shogun being a puppet

Crowley is no longer safe.

The staff (specifically Crewel) is supporting Shogun/You to beat Crowley's ass into shape.

Only the Diasomnia dorm knows your predicament with you and your puppet(s).

You are the definition of Queen/King/Royalty of the school. If you search up NRC, your picture literally plastered on it as the definition.

[hoodiewithhorns]

pls tendou nsfw hcs

━ smut hcs of tendou satori ★

first request eee requests are open btw <3 please read the rules before requesting please and thank you.

▲ warnings : not proof read,  bondage, vibrators, exhibitionism, edging/ orgasm denial, size kink, mention of safeword, degradation mixed with praise, daddy kink, overstimulation, possessiveness , fem reader!, oral giving and receiving both male and fem, spanking, dacryphilia , dumbification, mention of punishments, anal, all characters are 18+, MDNI.▼

Tendou is a hard dom I'm not arguing. 

- A FREAK A LEAK.

- an actual sadist in bed did you see how happy he got seeing the faces of his bullies? yeah same energy in bed.

- he absolutely adores seeing you crying either because you can't take him or because of his cruel teasing. 

- size kink go brrrrr

〜 ☆

- degradation mixed with praise like semi. only his degradation is like 90% while semi is a 50/50

- “ awe my dumb little slut can’t take me? but you were crying and whining about how bad you wanted to be stuffed by my fucking cock, so why don't you take it like a good girl.”

- has an authority kink loves being called daddy/sir

- “t-tori please I need to cum...”

-  “thats not my fucking name now is it baby?apologize and maybe i’ll let you cum hm?”

- “ yes daddy... m’ sorry.”

- “that's my goodgirl.”

- edging that leads to overstimulation 

- he’s definitely a brat tamer and gives punishments 

- likes seeing you tied up with a vibrator on you at full setting mocking and teasing you 24/7

- his fingering is 9/10. them fingers are long so he hits all the spots you can’t

- knows your body more than you 

- possessive sex isn’t too rare for him he hates the thought of you leaving him or you talking to his friends a bit too much and if they touch you?...you might not be able to walk for a few days

- cums in you and out you he thinks your pretty with his cum covering you

- would definitely eat chocolate off of you but would never admit to being into it

- he can be soft ofc he’s a good bf that wants his baby to be happy :c

- he would be absolutely mortified if he hurt you since he knows he can go a bit too far I mean he’s called a monster all the time so him acting like one to the only person that matters in his life???yeah poor baby :<

- you two have a safeword ofc but he never wants you to get to a point where you’d have to use it

- his aftercare is also really good he’d kiss the marks and bruises he left on you and bathe with you if you ask him too

- he's open to a lot of things so if there's a kink you wanna try out by all means he’s willing to listen

- into facefucking but would only do it if you’ve been misbehaving 

- I know I said he's a hard dom but he would so guide you if you wanted to ride him

- he’d praise you so much too !!

- “you’re doing really well baby...take your time I'm not going anywhere my love...such a pretty girl want me to help you cum hm?”

- praise him too if you tell him how good he makes/made you feel he’ll have such a proud and goofy smile

- he's into fucking in public just likes the thrill of possibly getting caught or you covering your mouth up cus you can’t stop your moans

- would fuck you while his friends are over he doesn't care he's just showing everyone that your his <3

- on nights when he’s in a soft mood he’ll worship your body and point out every detail he loves about you while eating you out

- oh yeah he’s def into spanking. misbehave too much and he might make you count.

- would do anal as a punishment since ur little whore cunt doesn’t deserve to get fucked 

- anyways, I love tendou satori very much.♡

[warriorrazor]

Dropping some ramblings about Spooky Family Skid and Pump-

I just kinda wrote them and shared them on Discord when I felt like it, and they range from silly lil fun facts to plot relevant writings. Hope you enjoy! (BTW none of these are canon to the actual Spooky Month, they’re for the Spooky Family AU)-

*****

Skid and Pump first met on Halloween when they were trick or treating. Pump had no costume but Skid had his skeleton costume, so Pump rushed up to Skid because he really admired his costume. Skid asked Pump where his spooky costume was, and Pump told him he didn’t have one. So the two of them went to Skid’s house and together they made Pump a costume using a jack-o’-lantern Skid and Lila had carved and a suit Skid had never worn. It’s the costume Pump still wears, and the duo have been spooky buddies (and now brothers) ever since.

~~~

For a while after Lila gained custody of Pump, when Lila would do something seemingly small for Pump (bringing him a snack even if he didn’t ask for one, washing his bedsheets, etc.) he would look at her with the most genuine and grateful expression, eyes full of pure wonder, and mumble a small “thank you, mom.”

It would melt Lila’s heart every time without fail.

~~~

Pump is nervous around most adults, he’ll usually go quiet and stay close to his brother or Lila when around them. However, his love for spooky month and pretty much everything spooky helps calm his nerves, so he feels a lot less nervous around adults or pretty much anyone who are monsters in some way (demons, ghosts, etc). And when he’s with Skid, whenever they meet someone spooky together their excited energy bounces off each other and the two of them get super happy and bubbly.

Pump’s always excited to have new spooky friends, just like Skid.

~~~

Skid is a super energetic and bubbly child, he pretty much wants to be friends with everyone. He’s the kind of kid who will shout across the room to get your attention. Somehow didn’t hear him? He’ll yell louder.

Another thing about him though is that he’s very empathetic. While he is a bit of a wild child, ever since Pump has become his brother he’s become pretty good at picking up small and silent cues. Pump tends to fiddle with his hands or even start shaking when he’s nervous or overwhelmed, and when Skid notices this, his demeanor can change in an instant. It’s almost like a switch being flipped; he often goes from loud and excited to quiet and gentle without even being aware of it.

Since Skid does this with Pump, he’ll also often do it with others as well. He thinks about his actions and considers what others might like and not like. Like something he does pretty often is when someone is upset, his first instinct is to hug that person. But he’ll instead stop himself and consider that a hug might be too much at that moment, and rest his hand on their arm instead. Just like what he does with Pump.

~~~

Pump has really good hearing. He can hear the words of a single conversation in a large crowd if he listens closely enough. If you whisper something to someone else around Pump, chances are he’ll have heard you. He usually doesn’t really mean to eavesdrop, he just hears and notices a lot.

~~~

Pump gives amazing hugs. He may be a bit small, but ask him for a hug and as long as he trusts you he will wrap his full self around you to the best of his ability. He also doesn’t mind if you cling to him for like an hour, he will hold onto you for all eternity if he must.

~~~

Recently I made a fic on AO3 where Pump had a nightmare, and Skid guided him to Lila’s room and they all fell asleep together so that Pump would feel safe. It ended with Pump saying “I love you, mom.”

That was the first time he told his new mother that he loved her.

So anyway Lila heard it and had to do everything in her power to hold back her happy tears so that she wouldn’t freak him out.

~~~

In this AU, there’s a specific way that life and death work. There’s a heaven and hell where angels and demons reside, but humans don’t typically go to them when they die. They usually become one with the universe, in eternal peace. However if your spirit is powerful enough, you could become a ghost or a spirit, or even become an Angel or a demon if you’re special enough (or unlucky enough). There are also very old souls that tend to wander around as well, powerful enough that they can do whatever they wish. This is plot relevant I promise-

*****

Heya if you read all of that and now you’re down here thank you so much for reading, I really appreciate it! As always if you have any questions, ideas, or anything for this AU you can comment, reblog, or send an ask any time! I may be a bit more busy these days, but all of those things really brighten my day and I’ll try to reply to everyone I can!

[red-riot-rat]

ＲＥＱＵＥＳＴ:  yo can you do headcanons for tsu, jirou and toga with an s/o that gets caught up in chaotic situations (like accidentally setting a firework stand on fire) and is like a really big dumbass

-

HEY HEY!! Me irl FKJNG

Ｇｅｎｒｅ：FLUFF/CHAOS

𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: cursing,,,,, 

𝘗𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘴: THEY/THEM (GENDERNEUTRAL)

AN: me watching puppet history on repeat for days on end?? Yes also why the fuck are these everywhere i am so sorry

-

-

【Ｔｓｕｙｕ　Ａｓｕｉ】

Has no idea how you do this shit??

LIKE WHAT???

You were literally just vibing right, and then

She got up

Was gone for like maybe a minute

And thats at the most

And she comes back to the couch you guys were sitting at

And fucking suddenly

You were holding the fire extinguisher

But

The fire extinguisher was on fucking fire???

Like burst in flames

And you just kinda stared at the fucking fire can in your hand

The fucking,,,,

What??

“Kero? Do you need me to get Todoroki-kun?” is all she will say because she is

FUCKING BAFFLED

Fucking b a f f l  ed 

Like fr

The machine made to put out fire

Is now

On fire?

She doesnt really know how you do it, 

She’ll turn her back to you and suddenly

Midoriyas broken his arm and your hand is wrapped around his wrist

Ochakos floating to the ceiling as you hold onto her foot like shes a fucking balloon

(shoutout to squishy for that,, Ochako Uraraka is a balloon now,,,)

She honestly??

They make good stories to tell,,

But what in the fuck??

-

【Ｋｙōｋａ　Ｊｉｒō】

Fucking LAUGHS HER GODDAMN ASS OFF

LIKE

SHE LOVES THAT YOU FIND YOURSELF IN UTTER CHAOS WITHOUT TRYING

WILL MAKE FUN OF YOU FOR IT ,,, R E LE  N T L E S S L Y

Fucking youre studying?

“Hey baby? Remember that one time you set a fire-” Cut her off for dear gods sake

You guys were on a walk,,, it was like around 3 am,,

Both of you guys had energy drinks, shes a monster addict fight me

And she was taking a photo of the moon, and full ass screamed as fireworks and Bang Snaps went off

(btw they’re just like fireworks that when they go off its really loud and have a little explosion) 

Fucking whips her head around and sees you just standing there, back facing her as the stand of fireworks

Just fucking has a goddamn lights show

She has to grab your wrist and drag you away asap,,,,

Y’all are heroes,,,,, you CANNOT get caught by the cops at 3 am as the town has a fucking firework show

You guys run so fast, shes fucking freaking out and you’re laughing your ass off

Eventually

You’ll stop,, youre close to fucking crying sdfndg

AND SHE JUST FUCKING STARES AT YOU

Like

She cant tell if shes like angry,, or just fucking thinking about how much she loves your crazy ass

But fucking breaks out laughing n e way

You sit on the sidewalk for at lEast 5 minutes, fucking cracking your asses off

And you have to explain what happened,, 

She fr doesnt care how or why it happens,

She just fucking loves it

-

【Ｈｉｍｉｋｏ　Ｔｏｇａ】

(i couldnt really think of a situation,, so here are just some normal headcanons also shes so pretty in this gif???)

Is literally

Always going to join in with whatever's happening

Full ass

Doesn't know how it happens, and will never ask

But will always whip her knife out, and join in

Even if she doesn't need the knife,

Its out

Sometimes she can drag Dabi into it as well

Will wreck havoc with you and whatever fucking chaos you got yourself into

ACTUALLY

Will make it so more chaotic than it was

Normallysomeone gets stabbed, 

Or she steals someones blood just for the hell of it

Takes a photo everytime something happens

Smiles like a madman in it and shows the background more than her face most of the time

Prints them all out,, makes a photo wall btw

(im so sorry these are so short babes)

[the-acid-pear]

Tumblr refuses to let me reblog the post again, so this is the second part of me reading the second btg book! ☺️

Still Chapter 211

Son on son violence

Chapter 212

This dude pretty cute ngl

Shit, rip

AAWW HIGH 5 🥺🥺

It's almost like they are a regular father and son 😭🥺💔

Chapter 213

Look how thigh those shirts are hehehoho 🥴

OYXITSITDITDLTD

Ooooh there goes my man Jyaku ready to kick some ASS

🥺😭💞

Baki really just forgot his mom eh, thought you were getting stronger for HER smh

Oh Jyaku vs Retsu? Nvm Jyaku i can only hope Retsu is nice w you

I like how most are like, confused over who to cheer for lmao

I know he won't make it but I'm cheering for Jyaku btw i like him more <33

Chapter 214

Love that title, can't believe Jyaku is gonna ask Retsu out 😍 /j

He really is just honest Igari

I love that he apologizes

Chapter 215

OJFOYDITDISTOTDG

HIS FACEEE THIS FUCKING CLOWN 😭😭😭

THIS IS JUST SO FUCKING FUNNY

Chapter 216

Burgir

GHZJDUDDRHD THEY ARE SOOO MAD

That smile so cute...

Jyaku is a king

Love it when Retsu throws that pose, though y'all know why

HDGSSGSGF you are coming to Japan wether you like it or not 🔫

Chapter 217

Finally Jyaku got serious too

WITH HIS TOES 😭

King is just obsessed i luv him

HEHE HAIRY LEGS

It does seem like Jyaku is trynna confess his love jfnshdshdf

Chapter 218

I remember i almost laugh cry with my dad when we saw this

His damn beard... 💔

THE HAND OF THE TRAITOR

He has a good point

They be calling my man Jyaku a masochist noooo yfjdhdgs

Chapter 219

Okay seems kinda into it <:/

Old man? He doesn't look that old Baki :/

That was so smart 🥺

Chapter 220

Retsu calm down please you are gonna break his back

Oh my god Retsu, oh my god.

He did apologize at least

Chapter 221

Damn dude be a little more gentle with him

Oh, get was picking him up, okay

FR FR

🥺🥺🥺

FARHDHDYFTH THE KINGGG

Chapter 222

I love how everyone completed him (except Yujiro but not surprising), these warriors are such a good team

I want to eat an apple too now

That was fast

I got distracted watching a vsauce react video sorry

Okay I'm glad a comment actually mentioned Sik

Chapter 223

Had to take a uh idk 5 hour break bc lights went out :/

Feet be fuming lmao

Ohhh that's a cool analysis

Chapter 224

What a good punch

That "please",,,

Poor Li man, having to see his brother DIE /j

No, Viêt Long, i have not been hit by a truck before.

Chapter 225

It's so funny how Jyaku lost bc he fought a main charac and only those win

Sad day for the Chinese citizens

Mf got tits in his back

This is gonna be so goodddd

Chapter 226

Look at the size of his tits, the slut

INSTAGRAM INFLUENCER POSE WOOO

These two are cool fighters

Chapter 227

Old man showing skin

His smile is so fucked up lmao

Chapter 228

Baki what the FUCK are you wearing?

I just remembered when Hana did a flip, that was so good

Retsu babey 🥺

I love how confused Yujiro looks

Chapter 229

Hey, i recognize that name...

Kaku just too op

Yujiro you are gonna pop your testicles if you do that with your leg

Chapter 230

God that's such a good threat

Love Retsu's confusion

Damn bitch you saying we gotta keep up w this whore cuz you were too slow? Ffs Kaku 😢

I love when you can tell someone is still hanging around just quietly by seeing their response in a comment

Chapter 231

God this just feels so good, to see Yujiro actually scared 😍

YOOO THAT'S POG

Chapter 232

I wanna finish this book and start the next one grrr

This fight is so satisfying

That last bit is so cringe but whatever that's okay

Fight so controversial comments were deactivated

Chapter 233

Itagaki hincha de boquita el más grande? 😳 /j

Okay yeah it IS just rude

Hohoooo shit getting nice

Chapter 234

This asshole lmao

Yuji-chan really went "how many times do i have to teach you this lesson, old man?!"

Mfs be doing Jojo references in the comments lol

Chapter 235

GTFO WITH THAT LOGIC RETSU IM SORRY CHINA IS LOSING BUT GET LOSTTTT AJSGAJGS

Ffs Kaku you are doomed 😢💔

Yujiro so strong my mouse disconnected

Chapter 236

Abs in his back...

Crying and shaking that is NOT true

DON'T FEED HIS EGO, KAKU

LIONS CAN BE KILLED BY TIGERS TOO!!!!

I thought Yujiro was bleeding for a second there smh

Chapter 237

OKAY YEAH IT IS HIS BLOOD ITS COMING OUT OF HIS NOSE ITS NOT MUCH BUT HE BLED

THE HEAD APPLAUSE

HE'S SO UPSET LMAOOO

Yujiro surprised is good shit

GSJDUFTHSTD

KAKU YOU LEGEND LMAO

Kaku has boyboss energy

Chapter 239

This cover almost gives me a stroke

I love how they all just shat their pants

These minor Chinese characters were so good tbh, sadly i don't think they will ever return

Don't worry Retsu, we the viewers have seen a man revive before

King i don't think any of us understands

It really is

CAN MEN IN THIS FRANCHISE JUST OPEN BOTTLES REGULARLY?!

Oh my god i though Yujiro was sitting on the air for a second i almost cry 😭

Coca cola must have paid Itagaki /j

Chapter 240

Oh so the Kaioh part takes the name, not the surname

...is Yujiro wearing a floral shirt? 😭

I LOVE THAT ENDING SO MUCH 🥺😭

Jyaku has his eyes fixated on Retsu eh, proud of having him come to Japan lmao

Chapter 241

HORRIBLE fit Baki

CHILDHOOD SAGA PART 2? 😰

Jk though i do miss Yuri 🥺

Oh hey Jr

You gonna fuck his girl, bro?

Chapter 242

So straight forward lmao

I'm starting to appreciate Baki's feminist ass every day even more

AAAA GRANDPAAA 🥺🥺💞

This page didn't allow me to call two mfs virgins smh, 1984

Chapter 243

Grandpa they shrunk you

Chapter 244

Kings idc about this

Okay true but also he's 70 dude pls... Though idk if this guy will go thru worse than Jack lmao

Such a nice lad

Chapter 245

Baki being such a feminist icon is so meaningful considering how his parents were,,,

MY MAN IS BACKKK AND AS DAPPER AS EVER

Doppo he's called Ali Jr how are you surprised?

OH MY GOD I JUST REALIZED HIS EYE PATCH HAS A PATTERN THAT'S SO COOL 🥺🥺😢💞

These men love throwing their glasses eh

Chapter 246

If only Igari and Toba had done this lol

OKAY THATS COOL I LIKE THAT

Me lo re devaluaron a mí pelado eh

HEHE OOOOH NICE 😳

Scenes that give me a boner

CHU...

Such a good callback...

Chapter 247

My man got serious, sweet

Doppo has been trying out his luck a bit too much like he's been betting with his life an uncomfortable lot like king do you need to talk? Are you okay? First asking Gouki to kill him now this like, is everything alright Doppo?

YEAH A BIT FUCKED UP TO THINK ABOUT

I love that blocking technique

OSHWOWHIWWH "gay ass Orochi, out of option so he touching dick" SHUT UPPP 😭😭💀

I really wish he got kicked in the nuts again see if he's still using his technique

Chapter 248

Poor guys thought he was bout to get murdered

A kiss? 😏 /j

When i saw this in the anime i actually thought Orochi was going to die, i was gonna get sooo angry

Chapter 249

What a way to cockblock em

Feminist icon

Jack is that the only sweater you own?

Chapter 250

I have been thinking of that scene of him eating the whole steak a lot

Jr like 🥺

Imagine being stupid enough to tease Jack like, i get he defeated two masters but they are NOTHING compared to this monster

Imagine jack just smoked some weed right there lmao

Jack needs to bite people more

Chapter 251

My shitty ass son gave me parkinson's

Jack that's not how human anatomy works what the fuck did Kureha do to your body spine?

Chapter 252

DAMN JR WHAT A FAT ASS

Looked like Jack was going for a handful

Those techniques must fuck your neck up so bad

Okay Jack you are going a bit far now don't cha think?

Chapter 253

You are tempting your luck sunny boy

Look at that, you pissed him off!

You cannot just know out jack hanma bro

HHH

This was so stupid yet, unironically, iconic

Chapter 254

Bruh i thought it said Pog 😭, ain't manslaughter poggers Mr Hanma?

OKAY THANKS JACK

Such a simp he downed that coffee cup

Grandpa put here cockblocking

Chapter 255

"no he didn't >:/"

These two masters are a pair of fucking idiots like understand this i love my grandpa and i love my man but mfs have to take the L for this one time sksgwjgshgw

Gouki bro my senses gonna shut down if you put your sucks against the dirt again OUGH sensory hell 😭

FOR FUCKING REAL JR

STOP ENABLING THE OLD MAN!! WKSGKSGSJSHDD for once I'm on Viêt's side 😭

Chapter 256

Hoho Gouki out here getting a panty shot 😳

Grandpa i love you but this was unnecessary

Chapter 257

Kozue should wear a Korn tshirt

GET HIS ASS KOZUE

OWHWLWGISGSJWG 😭😭 MF JUST STANDING THERE LIKE A FREAK I LOVE HIM BUT I HATE HIM SM!!!

Love how consistently round his hands are, king got no knuckles

HEY DONT CALL MY MAN A FREAK KOZUE

King hasn't changed his clothes ever since i see

His shoes look so nice...

OKAY OKAY HE HAS A POINT AT LEAST, HE AT LEAST ACCEPTED HE LOST BUT HE'S STILL BUTTHURT FROM IT SKSGAJGS BUT HE ADMITS IT!!

Doppo i love you but shut UPPP you lost get over it!! You are just going for the rematch bc you have the higher ground against a injured guy!!! Like Shibukawa didn't have time but you were already getting serious!! Hhhgrrrrrr doppo i love you but I'm going to bark

Hehe nvm he still hella fine... keep talking king 🥴

This was so mean of him sjsgwjwg

Chapter 258

Low-key starting to believe these two mfs plotted against Jr sjshsj

THAT FACE AKSGWJGS just 😐

If i didn't know you would get your ass handed in a plate i would be a lil mad he's planning on being that savage

He has been thru worse, sunny boy

Niceee

Tbh. I don't care anymore. Doppo is in the wrong, but GOD I'm a simp and i love seeing him fight 😍😍🥴

Yeah a comment mentioned it, we all were on Jr side until he threatened to kill Doppo Orochi like, even if not everyone here is as horny as me we all like an og fella

I also love how the prisoners really changed them all, the scars (both physical and mental) those 5 left will be remembered lol

[bloededhoine]

hi! I loved the last headcanons I requested so I'm sending more, hope u don't mind and sorry if this is late and if it is not Friday for u anymore. ☾, ■ and ♡ for Morvran (coz the one u wrote is the most amazing thing) and ✿ for Ves. Thank you so much and btw I abolutely love your witcher memes

you sent this 6 november. it is currently 12 december (by time i finished it its 11 january on my god) i am so fucking sorry but here you go! also the ves one.. yes.

☾ - sleep headcanon

■ -  bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon

♡ - romantic headcanon

✿ - sex headcanon

list

sleep headcanon

morvran is generally a pretty light sleeper, to the point where someone walking loudly outside will wake him up

so, he takes it upon himself to be properly tired before he goes to bed so he'll sleep through the night

this is usually accomplished by riding (a horse or a diplomat? who's to say)

good god it's the third bullet point how did i already make this sexual

alright...

he totally gives me monogrammed matching pyjama set vibes

like they're a mahogany coloured silk with a little MV embroidered in cursive

ciri loves making fun of them

but he's comfy DAMNIT

he sleepwalks... and didn't think it worth mentioning until emhyr hired a witcher to deal with the palaces supposed wraith problem...and of course he didn't want the city of golden towers to have a reputation as a hotbed for monsters.... but he eventually decided he liked his status as the local ghost

he keeps a dream diary.

like most of these hcs are based on tiny details in some obscure translation, but trust me bro morvran voorhis keeps a dream diary

he plays the dapper dude game, but with enough sambuca he will absolutely tell you why journaling your dreams is the most important thing you can do

he wears slippers. i know this for a fact. they match his pyjamas and he leaves them right next to his bed every night

of course, this started with morvran's father making sure he was always prepared for a quick getaway

even after the assassination he just couldn't shake the habit. he also always stays on the ground or first floor and won't fall asleep in a room unless the windows open from the inside. precautions, you know?

great now i'm sad

bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon

okay here's the thing you need to understand about morvran voorhis: he did not have any autonomy for the first 20 odd years of his life

growing up in the imperial palace doesn't leave a lot of room for individuality. sure, he had expensive toys, soft fabrics, and the nicest governesses and most intelligent tutors in the empire, but none of it was his

even after his father died, he couldn't leave because he was getting married off to some girl he'd never even met!

so, by time he had command of the alba division and, by extension, his own life, he got creative

i'm talking a tapestry of his favoured stallion that takes up an entire wall

and a custom plaque of the merchant's guild insignia on the mantle

and a hook right next to his bed to put his medallion

and his own gwent card, framed

and a map of nilfgaard he annotates himself, with markings such as "bastard who stole fire scorpion, cheats with scoia'tael deck", "pretty girl witcher", "annoying witcher", "guild army contact", "actual 25 centimetres, take portal or carriage"

and a desk he never actually uses because it's too orderly and looks too nice to mess up

should all those mismatched patriotic and egotistical things look good together? no, no they should not. but do they?? fuck to the yes! our mans knows the importance of a colour scheme!

when you first walk in his quarters, it looks kind of like most of the others in alba, except with a few extra empty coffee mugs

but he HAS THOSE MOTHERFUCKING DETAILS

i don't know why i'm so invested in this i just fucking KNOW it's true

he's a neat freak. i feel like we all knew this.

there's a designated spot for everything, and don't you dare mess up the system

also if you drip water on his rug he will 100% throw your ass out onto the street

romantic headcanon

now, i'm almost exclusively romantically attracted to women, but i would marry voorhis and not just for the money

he definitely has a huge romantic streak that he really loves indulging. buying flowers, writing love letters, all of that, he genuinely enjoys it

yes, he's a busy man, but he makes the little moments count! he definitely bugs assire for a new xenovox like every week because he breaks them so often

morvran voorhis is a massive flirt. i will not be taking questions

i told myself i wouldn't work in my voorhis used to be a sex worker hc in this, but you know what he did and that's important to him!

the flirting is definitely an issue in relationships, especially with people who didn't know him before he was a commander.

i'm not saying he's two faced, he just has very distinct business and pleasure personas that he doesn't want to mix

he also sees relationships as fairly contractual. he gave those diplomats a little of ~this~ because it helped him succeed. somewhere along the way he began to enjoy the feelings of courting someone, but it was largely because he knows you're always better at work you enjoy.

ciri has called him out on it a few times... he was not happy

how dare you ask this man to be vulnerable he is a BOTTOM

but i honestly think that if there is someone he wants, he will make himself worthy of them. voorhis is nothing if not confident and determined, and i think those are more powerful than the massive daddy issues and praise kink

he really just puts in effort and concern to all aspects of a relationship

like dates? unreal

he always starts by going to the vegelbud estate, partly because he is desperate for his peers' approval and partly because he wants to see if this lucky person is a good match

he also knows all the places around the estate where wildflowers grow. i told you he's a romantic.

sex headcanon

i'm about to be incredibly gay on main oh good god jimmy don't read this please

ves is a dom and a top. acceptable titles include Sir, Master, or Lieutenant and you better fucking use them

ves definitely gets around. i mean, just look at her. the energy is immaculate and she knows what she's doing

overstim. just... one is not enough. shaking is not enough. begging is not enough. being completely fucked out and not even able to manage any words while sobbing? that might do. (with consent!)

not that ves doesn't love to hear some begging, she definitely does. it's just not going to motivate or demotivate her to do anything, she already has it all planned out

that plan includes hearing someone beg for her strap even as she's deep enough inside them they can feel it in their belly

good god i'm really exposing all my kinks

anyways let's keep it going!

she's an amazing rigger

not just in technique, she knows exactly when to be gentle versus firm and create art out of a body and some ropes

ves bites

just grabbing a handful of hair and tilting their head back so she can leave marks on their throat... mmhm yeah

i think she fucked geralt

like yeah you can have her fuck geralt in assassins of kings but i think she just did it anyway cause she was bored and smelled a bottom

he had a very good time

ves was eh

geralt's just far more submissive than ves's usual partners. i mean, she's used to handling 5 temerian guerillas. a singular witcher isn't even a challenge

surprisingly, she's quiet. spending 80% of her day within earshot of her father figure made this more of a necessity, but she can fashion an excellent gag for any parties who aren't worried about all of temeria hear them

[derekmorganscrocs]

Nancy Drew 2x12? IDK

this was in fact 2x11

Thoughts while watching

SPOILER ALERT!!

HOLA MISHAMIGOS! Jkjk that’s a spn reference so not many of y’all will get this, but for those who do: super extra socially-distanced kisses! Yeah I’m weird and lame lmao don’t even worry about it!

So basically I got locked out and forgot my password for a min but I’m back and now I’m on spring break and feeling sexy and shiiii 😩 anywhoodles! I maybe have a few nearly finished fics 👀 keep an eye out maybe? But yeah I’m back now!! So here are my thoughts on last week’s new episode! So excited for tomorrow too!! I NEED TO KNOW IF THEY ARE THE HARDYSSSSS!!

ON WITH THE SHOW:

Nicks eye opening scared the crap out of me omg- DUDE Y R WE IN THE FOREST. WHATTTT WTF U MEAN WHO R U

“And why would you think that?” RYAN- you’re not v convincing. Okay nvm he is convincing.

AW HE’S SO CUTE AND NERDY RN OMG “I’m from Florida” he’s so happy about the money. ACE IS SASSY? Oh the brother... pocket rocks? POTION ROCKS. “So I lied?” HES SO DISAPPOINTED IN HIMSELF AW. he is very confused.

“FAMILY MEETING”- CARYAN AND NANCY ARE FAMILY 😫 HUSBANDS. nancy is gonna dieee. EVERETT HAS RUN PEOPLE OFF SKI SLOPES BEFORE APPARENTLY

IS THAT ACES MOM? ITS HIS MOM. HER VOICE IS SO SOOTHING I LOVE THE WHOLE FAMILY.

“You’re not food free grant” has the same energy as me saying “grant is a murderer” every time I can. I’m living for this secret brother storyline though. OH NO WHY COPS- A MURDER? SHIT HIS PHONE? NICK IS NO MURDERER. aw fanson so cute! Waiting for odette to pop out and nick be like “you’re French?”

FLORENCE OH I MISSED HER <3

Aw nick no you’re not a murderer 😭 god I love him. So all I’m getting from him leaving a trail is that he’s the worst murderer ever. NOT THAT HES A MURDERER BECAUSE I LOVE HIM! Also I love that he still knows.

Magical truck smoke bomb? Oh nick was almost murdered, okay jeez.

WTF WHY IS HE FREAKING OUT- forest monster OH JFC WHAT IS THAT. WHAT IS THAT THING. HOLY SHIT- he re-erased his mind.

I love Nancy’s scarf btw it’s so cute. Pls nick is adorable and I love him

I love that nick still knows asl though. HE FIXED ALL THOM’S CHAIRS? I AM IN LOVE WITH HIM OKAY? IM NOT GONNA STEP ON GEORGE’S TOES HERE BUT STILL NICK OMG.

STOP IT I AM SOBBING RN 😭 NICK NO.

Loving aces white crewneck and genius hacking. Grant is a murderer still. I think.

Nancy making a scene 😫 OH NANCY WHAT- SHE JUST DID THAT OKAY

FANSON RIGHTS. FANSONFANSONFANSONFANSONFANSONFANSON!! oh no not the rich lady- Ryan said “what-“

“This is a terrible podcast” Mood.

WTF oh no! OH NO COMPLETE AMNESIA

GEORGE ITS YOUR RESTAURANT- that was so cute omg fanson reunited YAY! not ace hitting on bess again omg- nvm he got shut down too fast LMAO. they tried WATERGUNNING IT? SLINGSHOT STEAK KNIVES? ACE GOT STABBED- this is all something I would do.

Amnesia Celia is so cool 😫 aw besties for amnesia life!

eh, they’ll figure it out eventually. (Shrugs) ODETTE COMING THRU WITH THE W!! Bess is so confused omg did odette just hit on her? Viking Bess? I’m here for it tbh. BESS SEND THAT TWEET BABE!! DO NOT USE NICK AS BAIT!

Oh shit! IT SNATCHED MR ARISTOTLE- NICK ERASE UR BRAIN

DAMN FANSON WOOOOO TEAM WORK COUPLE- NOT FLORENCE DONT DAMAGE FLORENCE.

OH SO THEYRE INFLUENCERS, I SEE.

BURN THAT BITCH. BURN THAT TINY LITTLE IDOL THING BRUH, BURN IT. SALT AND BURN.

CARSON IS BEST DAD. BEST DAD. WE LOVE BEING A DREW. yes thanks dad. HES COMING HOME!

aw Ryan being nice to his mom that’s cute.

ooh thank god nick is proved innocent I LOVE ACES DAD OMG. ASK ABOUT YOYR BROTHER ASK ABOUT YOUR BROTHER! Damn.

He’s buying the whole building- rich nick! I love seeing IF THAT IS NOT FRANK HARDY- okay so maybe grant isn’t a murderer. IS HIS NAME FRANK OR NAH?

End thoughts:

TUNJI IS IMPECCABLE. I WAS CRYING WITH NICK BC IT WAS SO WHOLESOME, THE CHAIRS 😭 and I love odette randomly popping in and being all French and flirty with Bess and I really liked Nancy’s scarf thingy! AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO RILEY SMITH, BECAUSE THAT WAS YESTERDAY!

My Sister’s Thoughts:

[gay-otlc]

Monsters- Chapter ב

Previous chapter

Summary (changed from last time btw): Eyphah has monsters in hir head. How much do the monsters have to control hir life before ze becomes the monster?

Content warnings: OCD/intrusive thoughts/trich, religion, cursing, low self esteem, violence, lmk if I need to add anything.

Playlist (if anyone’s curious)

Word count: 1762

“Monster,” ze whispered to hirself again, as ze walked through hir door. Ze swallowed and put on a fake smile. “Shoshanah! I’m home!”

No response.

Heart thundering, Eyphah rushed across the hallway and up the stairs, footsteps echoing loudly. “Shoshanah!” ze yelled again, ripping the door open. The lights were off, bed empty, sheets slightly ruffled. Hir eyes flicked around wildly until they fell upon a sheet of paper resting on the nightstand.

Eyphah exhaled, grabbing it.

Eyphah-

I know you get worried when I’m not here, so sorry to worry you, but I had to fill in for Yakov at the hospital. I won’t be home until late, so you can have dinner without me. I’m alright and I love you!

Love,

Shoshanah.

“Fucking idiot,” Eyphah muttered, setting the note down and rubbing hir temples. Why did ze have to freak out every time Shoshanah didn’t answer immediately? Why did the monsters in hir head have to fill it with images of Shoshanah lying in her bed, unable to move, dying before hir eyes- or already dead.

And ze was still fucking anxious. “She’s okay,” ze muttered again, shaking hir head. Hir eyebrows itched. A lot, like the fear of stabbing someone with hir sword and finding Shoshanah dead had all physically manifested in hir left eyebrow, needing to be extracted from hir body.

Ze pulled.

And pulled again.

And pulled again.

And then wrapped hir hands behind hir back and sat on them, determined not to pull again.

And pulled again.

“I fucking hate you!” ze yelled at hirself. Frustrated, ze stood up and grabbed hir notebook, opening it to the most recent page.

Reasons I don’t want to die:

I want to learn the new sword move.

I love Shoshanah

Shoshanah loves me

Maybe I’ll find a new ahav

No babka when you’re dead

NO RUGELACH WHEN YOU’RE DEAD!

The thought makes me feel sick

I don’t want to die

I don’t want to die

I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die

Eyphah remembered writing that. Ze’d been baking; latkes, was it? It was Tammuz; last month, and one of the summer ones, but ze hadn’t wanted to let the wrong season stop hir from enjoying latkes. The rest of the memory was a bit blurry. Ze opened up hir drawer to get a spatula and flatten the latkes, but hir gaze fell upon a knife.

Ze imagined grabbing the knife instead of the spoon.

Ze imagined quickly thrusting the knife into hir chest.

Ze imagined bleeding out on the floor, Shoshanah coming to discover hir body and screaming.

Eyphah hadn’t opened that drawer since, nor had ze baked.

It was sad. Ze used to love baking.

Baking and sword fighting; those were hir favorite things to do for fun, but the monsters in hir head made hir terrified of that. What would happen next? Would ze have to avoid Shoshanah, someone she liked to do for fun as well?

Do you even love Shoshanah? Or are you just her ahav out of pity?

“SHUT UP!” ze screamed, and wrote down ten reasons ze loved Shoshanah.

The way she bites her lip and looks down when she finds a joke funny but doesn’t want to admit it’s funny.

Her kisses. She tastes like strawberries.

The way her eyes light up when someone calls her a girl.

The little twirl she does when she wears a dress.

Her singing voice for Havdalah prayers.

Her determination to help others.

When she talks about picking her name and has this sweet little smile on her face.

The way she flaps her hands when she’s happy.

How her hand fits in mine perfectly.

Her laugh, like sunlight.

When Eyphah was thoroughly convinced ze actually loved hir ahav, and wasn’t just faking it and toying with her feelings out of some sick sadism, ze threw the notebook down and paced across the room, trying to release the nervous energy bubbling up inside hir.

Normally, when ze had this buzz of energy, ze tried to get it out by practicing with hir sword. But that wouldn’t work now, would it?

Convenient.

Until hir stomach rumbled, ze had no idea ze was hungry, but ze gratefully accepted the distraction of going to get food. Ze was good at baking, but terrible at cooking, and ze hated using the stove anyway- too big a risk ze’d set something on fire. Bagels, maybe? Shoshanah bought bagels yesterday, and they should have at least a few left. No cream cheese, though; ze’d have to use a knife for that.

Eyphah focused on the motion of hir legs, lifting one up and swinging in front of the other, over and over again, until ze reached the kitchen, because otherwise ze’d get too lost in hir own head to move.

Even without cream cheese, the bagels tasted pretty good, and ze ate them quickly. After reciting the birkat hamazon, the sound of hir voice stopped echoing through the house, and it fell silent. Ze was just alone in here, and it was dark out, and there was nothing stopping the monster in hir from taking over.

Maybe ze should go out into town? Ze hated being around people, always had, and ze was probably a danger to them, but maybe it would be better than being alone in this empty house. Eyphah shifted hir weight on the chair as ze thought, and even the creaking seemed to whisper monster at hir.

It was official, ze had gone insane, and Eyphah needed to get out of this fucking house.

After pausing just long enough to leave a note for Shoshanah- Shoshana didn’t worry like ze did, she probably wouldn’t need it, but maybe it would be nice- ze changed into a cleaner shirt, short sleeved and white like before, but not covered in imaginary blood stains. Then, ze left the house and decided to walk to the jewelry store, hoping to get hirself a new magen david necklace.

It was raining lightly outside, the sky clouded over with grey so ze couldn’t see any stars. Disappointing. Other than that, Eyphah didn’t mind the rain much; sure, hir hair was getting wet, and hir scalp where ze had a bald spot, but it felt kind of nice. Calm. Ze could almost imagine that the rain was washing away all the evil that lived inside hir.

Almost.

Slowly, ze breathed and focused on the noise of hir shoes clicking against the pavement, of the rain gently pattering on the windows of the stores surrounding hir. It had been such a long time since ze just focused on what was going on in the world around hir. Most of the time, ze was too caught up in hir own head, obsessed with the past or dreading with the future. Eyphah let hir eyes linger behind hir a little too long, or narrowed hir vision on the world ze was hurtling into, and and never took the time to look around.

It wasn’t so bad.

Ze ran a finger through hir damp hair, making it look a little more presentable, before walking into the jewelry store. Was it even open this late? Maybe ze should have checked that first. But the lights were on, and loud voices flooded the building, and there were people in there. It felt much warmer than hir empty house.

“Eyphah! Shalom!” someone called, and ze started a little, not having expected to be welcomed. It was easy to forget people liked hir, when ze struggled with liking hirself so much.

Ze waved, responding with “Hey, how’s it going?” Hopefully, if ze initiated a conversation, whoever called hir name would come closer to hir and ze would figure out who it was. Their voice wasn’t instantly recognizable.

They did, in fact, come closer; Chaim, Eyphah remembered. They had been extremely close as children; he had done an aliyah at hir B’nai Mitzvah a few years ago, and while they hadn’t spent as much time together recently, they were still good friends. Eyphah smiled a bit.

“Pretty good,” Chaim said, grinning. He was usually grinning, his slightly crooked teeth showing and dark eyes lighting up. His hair had gotten longer since the last time ze saw him, dark and curling around his warm, copper colored face. “I’m getting a boat soon, finally. I’ve been saving up for years.”

“That’s great! I’m really happy for you!”

“Yeah, I leave in a few weeks, but I’ll be sure to write. How about you, anything interesting going on?”

Eyphah tugged at hir hair, a few strands coming loose. Chaim must have noticed the bald spots, wider and more obvious than the last time they’d spoken a few months ago, but he was nice enough not to comment on it. Nothing very noteworthy had gone on in hir life recently, especially not something ze’d want to share with people.

“I’ve been working on sword fighting more often,” ze said finally, omitting how terrified ze was of hurting anyone. “Gotten pretty good at it.”

“Nice! Please don’t stab me though.”

That’s what I’m worried about. “Haha, I won’t,” Eyphah said weakly, clawing at the skin where hir neck sloped into hir shoulder and tearing it off.

Chaim took a step forward in line as whoever was at the front left. Eyphah followed. “A lot of people here, huh? I thought there’d be hardly anyone.”

“Tu B’av is coming up soon, I guess. A lot of people buying their ahavs jewelry.” Eyphah usually made Shoshanah a cake for Tu B’av; ze supposed ze’d have to come up with something else this year. Hopefully ze didn’t disappoint her.

“Right. Forgot about that.”

Eyphah nodded, shoving thoughts of disappointing Shoshanah out of hir head. “Are you here buying anything for your ahav?” ze asked, the corners of hir mouth turning up.

Chaim snorted. Eyphah had thought he would find that funny, considering he had never and would never love people like ahavs, the mere thought that he would was ridiculous. “I was hoping to get earrings, actually,” he said once he stopped laughing. “Lost my old ones.”

“Disaster,” ze teased.

“You’re one to talk, Mx. I got my hair cut because I burnt it cooking.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“You love me, bitch.”

“I do.” Eyphah smiled again- a real genuine smile!- and leaned against Chaim’s wide frame. He made hir feel like a person. That was nice. Ze had forgotten what it was like to feel like a person, not a monster.

[fixated-addict13]

I’ve been thinking about Sam’s powers. Because i’m obsessed they had so much potential in the later seasons. And i’ve wondered what would happen if they occurred in season 9 after the Gadreel ordeal as well with Abaddon & Metatron. As a result this fic happened. This is my first time writing fanfiction so any suggestions or constructive criticism is welcomed. Currently I’m at chapter three for this, but I though I share this one because maybe other people will enjoy it.

Btw this is an AU so no MOC (I didn’t care for that storyline) and Dean stayed at the bunker so there may be some tension between the brothers if I decide to keep writing this. Castiel also has his grace, but broken wings :(. Also anothe ring inspiration was the writing “Start Here” by Caitlyn Siehl. So if this even gets noticed and read, enjoy! I may add more chapters on here or somewhere like AO3 or Fanfiction.net.

“When is a Monster not a Monster?

Oh, when you love it.”

- Caitlyn Sieht

Chapter 1: “Start by pulling him out of the fire and hoping that he will forget the smell. He was supposed to be an angel…” (Sam P.O.V)

He could feel it.

The dirt.

The impurity.

The unholiness.

The evil.

No matter how hard he tried he couldn’t scrub it out. The closest thing he had to purity was going through the trials. But then again, he couldn’t even get that right.

Everyone acts like they can’t see it. As if they can’t look into his very soul and see the fingerprints of the devil himself.

See the ways his eyes darken when angry. Or when his eyes look almost yellow in the sun.

Almost.

On days when he can’t help but reminisce, he remembers the power, the feeling of being able to kill with just a single thought. Being able to kill the ones once said to be “untouchable”.

He hates those days.

When he looks in the mirror he can’t help but see the worst of himself and those caught in the crossfire.

He sees Lucifer.

He sees Gadreel.

He sees Azazel.

He sees Ruby.

He sees John.

He sees Mary.

He sees Jessica.

He sees . . .

Dean.

God. He prays that he could be as clean as his brother. The so-called “righteous man”. The one the angels and possibly God wanted out of hell.

Not him though.

At least he had Cas, he just wishes someone higher saw worth in him being freed. That maybe God himself saw him more than “The True Vessel of Lucifer”.

More than an Abomination

Boy King

Anti-Christ

Freak

Blood Sucker

Azazel’s Favorite

The Boy with the Demon Blood . . .

It’s funny really. His soul is over centuries-old and he’s 6’4 but they still call him a boy.

Sam!

What was he doing again?

Sam! Sam!

He sounds familiar?

Sammy! Sammy!

Oh right, Dean.

Wait, why is he yelling?

Is he okay? He should probably. . .

______________________________________________________________________________

Gasp!

Sam wakes up with a gasp to a pair of worried green eyes looking down at him and shaking his shoulders. “Sam? Sammy?! It’s okay, it’s okay just breath”.

He didn’t realize he was hyperventilating.

‘What happened to me?’

“We were ambushed by Abaddon and her crew, remember?”

‘Oh. I didn’t know I said that out loud.’

“Why do I feel so... “ He breaks off there and realization dawns at him, and Deans’ solemn look confirms his suspicions.

That’s why he felt it.

He looks around and takes in the atmosphere of the worn-out factory. The wrecked pipes, the drip-drip of falling water. Walls dwindled by age and slimy floors. He remembers now, they had been on a case involving a vampire’s nest. They had tracked them to this factory and Abaddon had…

______________________________________________________________________________

NOT LONG BEFORE:

A group of a dozen or more demons - most likely more - surrounds them. They separate and once Sam is able to decapitate some demons, he sees Dean being outnumbered. He starts to go toward him to assist but is soon stopped in his tracks by an unseen force, quickly he is forced to the wall behind him. Next thing he knows Dean is being restrained by the low-level demons and he is unable to move his limbs from the walls deteriorating surface. Abaddon walks toward him, a wicked smile tucking at her blood-red lips.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t the Boy with the Demon Blood.”

He’s unable to suppress a small flinch from those words. She seems to revel in his reaction.

“Wish you would’ve told me about your reputation, seeing as you are made specifically for our God himself, … for Lucifer”. She walks closer to him and grips the bottom of his jaw. Her now black eyes looking directly into his.

“DON’T TOUCH HIM YOU BITCH OR I SWEAR I’LL KILL YOU” Dean growls at her.

She turns to him, her face filled with amusement. Then quickly faces the younger Winchester again and continues as if Dean hadn’t spoken.

“Now, where were we? Right. You should’ve told me, Sam. It’s better to learn through the individual than through gossip” she says with a false offense.

“Screw… you.” he retorts through gritted teeth and flaring nostrils.

She scowls in response. Then reaches into her pocket for a small silver dagger. Sam eyes it, his angry and defiant facade faltering a bit. Only a little bit.

“Oh calm down. I’m not gonna hurt you”. She turns her head to Dean. “Him… well he’s expendable”. At this panic fills Sam’s eyes, his attempts to fight against her hold increasing.

She continues looking back at Sam's eyes, however not acknowledging his attempt. “I wonder what the blood from a Knight of Hell would do to a specimen like you.” She wonders while playfully stroking his cheek as if he were her lover. He cringes at the feel of her cold fingers. His mind then begins picking up on the intent of her statement.

Upon his realization, his body fills with trepidation and his blood runs cold. In the background, Dean continues to fight and curse against the demon’s strong grips. She brings the blade to her wrist and slices very slowly as if attempting to tease him. Right away he can smell it, the strong aroma of sulfur. The scent of evil, poison, of … of…

‘Power.’

He blinks and attempts to shake his head against her grip when that thought appears. He can’t become that.

‘I can’t.’

She starts bringing her wrist to his mouth. He tries to take his face out of her hand, but she has a fucking strong grip. She pulls at his bottom jaw opening just enough.

Dean’s curses, protests, and threats fade into the background as Sam gets a look at the blood on her wrist. His tongue waters. And he hates it. He should be over it. Centuries of the cage (of redemption) should dim his craving, his temptation.

Guess he was wrong.

The next thing he knows the taste of metal and sulfur is on his tongue then fills his mouth. He attempts to spit it out, but she has her hand over his mouth and nose. He doesn’t want it.

‘I DON’T WANT IT. (I, YOU, WE NEED IT)’

It goes down his throat as he attempts to take a breath, it burns going down but it feels so damn good.

She takes her hand away from his mouth and nose. Her other wrist still fixed to his mouth. He stops fighting. Pure instinct takes over and he’s practically licking the cut trying to get as much blood as possible. Making sure that none is wasted. He’s pretty sure Dean is eyeing him with disgust and disappointment, but he can't bring himself to care. He could feel the power and energy building up. It builds behind his eyes, in his gut, his entire fucking body. What were once whispers in the back of his mind have now turned to shouts. (‘MOREMOREMOREMOREMORE’)

Then it stops. Everything comes to a standstill, the shouts, and energy dull, his body numbs.

She pulls away and he opens his eyes, he didn’t even realize he had closed them.

Abaddon is smiling wickedly at him. And Dean is… Well, he can’t even bring himself to meet his eyes. Can’t bring himself to see the hate, detest, the. . . the . . . ‘fear’.

‘He should be afraid of me, you, us. I’m, you’re, we’re, way stronger than him than all of them. All I, you, we need is more blood’, his mind whispers.

The pressure builds between his eyes. Blood is rushing in his ears. Abaddon seems to be speaking, but all he could focus on is the beating of her heart. (‘KILLKILLKILL’)

The sound of her and the other demons’ blood rushing. (‘MOREMOREMORE’)

His lips start forming into a grin. He could already feel the cool blood falling from his nose, the blood drying around his mouth. His hands slowly begin to loosen from their fixed point on the wall. The last thing he sees is Abaddon's once satisfied smile falter. Then black begins to fill the edges of his vision, then soon everything follows suit. ______________________________________________________________________________

NOW:

Sam takes into account the number of bodies that surround them, some encompassed in pools of blood. He looks down at his hands, and they're covered in blood (‘not mine’) that hasn’t quite dried yet.

“Did I . . . did I d-do this?” he asks, but deep down he already knows the answer. He just doesn’t want to believe it. Sure, things have been really bad between them lately. Well, bad would be an extreme understatement. But despite that, he just needs some form of assurance.

“Sam . . .” Dean begins with his hands still having a tight clutch on Sam’s shoulders. The younger Winchester attempts to listen to what else he’s saying, his lips are moving but the whispers are back in residence and drown out Dean’s voice.

‘He’s going to lock me, you, us up. Lock the door and throw away the key. He doesn’t need me, need you, need us. I, you, we, need more. All he sees is a monster…

“Sam, it means you’re a monster”

and when is a monster not a monster?’.

TBC

[lesbian-kyoru]

Can I ask 1-9 for the Kyoru FWB fic? (Which btw is probably my favourite Kyoru fic ever)

first off thank you so much, that’s so freaking kind?? there are some truly amazing kyoru fics out there so i’m honored that you would consider mine one of your favorites!!! i’m more than happy to answer these questions ahhhhh 

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

i got the idea to write a fwb AU completely on a whim! came to me randomly one day and thought it would be fascinating to explore, especially because it’s a concept that kind of goes against how people view kyoru as very Pure and Cute and Wholesome Only... it’s like, you read fb and you’re like “they freak out when their hands touch there’s no way they’re fwb....” but. what if they actually were lmfao. not exactly written out of spite, but more that i thought it would be an incredibly interesting scenario because it seems so out of character and implausible on the surface. it was a super fun challenge and i really like how it all came together!! didn’t expect for it to be 25k+ but yknow. sometimes it do be that way

2: What scene did you first put down?

the very first scene on the rooftop, actually! i tend to write extremely chronologically, actually, so most of inertia was written very moment to moment, beat by beat. i think the reason is bc i’m a theatre actor and you always perform plays in order, so storytelling is naturally very chronological for me and it’s hard for me to write out of order lol. notable exception is that i wrote the ending/epilogue before i had finished part 2! (and it actually was finished before i even realized i wanted to write a part 3 at all LMFAO)

3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

She watches him, and she wonders how anyone could call someone so beautiful a monster.

i am a simple woman and “in love with a monster” stories just really speak to me. i like how this is peak angst and peak romance in a single sentence. feels good feels natural feels kyoru💖

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

“This was supposed to be about… I don't know, helping you be prepared for when you meet someone, okay? Just… practice for you. It's not about me." "Does it even matter what the reason is?" she asks. "Yeah, because it keeps both of us from being idiots."

fun fact this question made me realize that my favorite lines are always prose/narration and never my dialogue and it’s because i kind of write dialogue very sparingly. because i hate when characters say what they actually feel hsdhfoisdhfos. having said that, i’m gonna go with this exchange because i like how it toes the line between saying what they feel and. absolutely obscuring what they really mean with bullshit LOL. very them

honorable mention:  "Oh, so you want to bone Honda-san?" haru....what a king. egot

5: What part was hardest to write?

definitely the clusterfuck that is the last scene of part 2. firstly it’s over 6k which was a monster to write, felt never ending LMFAOOOO. also just was a challenge across the board because it required a lot of me as a sex scene, and then plot/character-wise it was also just sooooo complex and messy and emotionally-charged. the section in between tohru mental breakdowns 1 and 2 took about a week of agonizing over it and tweaking to get it right. i think the agony was worth it though bc it’s definitely the scene i’m most proud of in the series now :’)) also it made people cry and that feels so satisfying as a writer >:)

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

it’s my only kyoru fic that’s not a one shot! my first kyoru AU as well, and it definitely just has the most angst and has the most complex plot of anything else i’ve written. it’s also the first time i’ve ever written smut LMFAO...this fic is just my baby it’s special to me haha

7: Where did the title come from?

so the series title and the part titles all come from the song inertia by brother moses!! from very early on i had a fwb AU mix to listen to while i wrote, and i added inertia on a whim along with some others. as i listened to it more, the music and lyrics really ended up having just the right vibe that i wanted for the title. “entangle me” feels very impending chaos and getting caught up in a situation that is going to spin out of control, which is very part 1 lol. “moments when you and i are one” feels very intimate and quiet and secretive which i thought fit part 2. and then i settled on inertia as the series title because i think the concept of stagnation vs moving forward is super relevant to fb as a whole, but specifically to kyoru and their mutual pining! if u can’t tell i like naming fics ahaha

8: Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?

i definitely have some kyoru fics that are more inspired by my real life than others LMFAO but tbh this one is mostly just inspired by me thinking about kyoru all the goddamn time. i’ve had some disaster relationships and that energy inspires me as well LOL. but i can’t say i’ve ever had a fuckbuddy and also been in love with them, i’m truly just drawing on that Universal Feeling of Yearning there

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

big one is that it started as just a tohru POV fic because i love getting inside her brain, but i later incorporated kyo POV because i felt like i needed both to tell the story best and justify the complex motivations (and mental gymnastics lol) that led them into this situation. i’m super glad i included kyo POV though, because i really can’t imagine the fic without his scenes now! i love kyo so much and i love writing him. oh and another one! this started as one giant oneshot. then it became two parts. THEN it became two parts + an epilogue. and now it’s three parts + an epilogue. my deepest apologies because that’s why i’ve left y’all hanging for over a month now LMAO

ask me about a fic

[uneryx]

Renee Gets Salty About Dark Magic

This post got long, and got away from me, so I’ll tl;dr it

1. dark magic is a metaphor for consumption and materialism and is ultimately bad because it harms others unnecessarily and is not a sustainable resource

2. the elves were dicks for banishing humans but (especially if humans sucked all the magic out of the land themselves) they were kind of justified, even if it was an extreme measure

3. Eating meat is not the same as dark magic if you’re looking at things from an animistic point of view, which the elves likely do

4. it’s okay to like problematic characters and you don’t have to portray Ezran as a monstrous enfant terrible to feel okay about thinking Viren is justified in what he does.  In fact, pretty please stop doing this, everyone in all fandoms. It’s fine if you don’t like the protags but that doesn’t mean you get to say Ezran or Rayla or whoever is EVIL. It’s called Ron the Death Eater and it’s a fandom trope that has pissed me off for going on fifteen years. Deliberately misreading the text isn’t cute. Stop doing it.

5. The show isn’t over, be patient, you’ll probably get to see some comeuppance for stuff anyway. And if you don’t, there’s always fanfiction. 

6. For the love of baby adoraburrs please tag posts that go in the vein of “the writing is bad because Viren is portrayed as a classic villain/elves good humans bad/the protags aren’t held accountalbe” with “TDP CRITICAL” I would greatly appreciate it because I’m getting super annoyed with posts that deliberately misrepresent canon to uphold a favored side and it’s affecting my enjoyment of the show. Now! Actual long and discourse-heavy post under the cut!

 Ugh I don’t want to start a big ol’ argument with people because I’m still on vacation and don’t want to spend the rest of today arguing about cartoons on the internet, but this has been on the kettle for a while and I feel QUITE STRONGLY about some of these things, so just... let me express my views here and don’t come for me because I’m about to talk about religion and sociology. 

Dark Magic is a metaphor for unchecked consumption and capitalism.  1. The theory i’m seeing floating around that got my dander up is that the elves and dragons drained the western half of the continent of magic to keep magic away from humans. I think that, based on what we’ve learned from canon, this is highly unlikely and would be weaker writing than what I think actually happened. Instead, Dark magic was going on for a good solid 800 years (Rise of Elarion is 2000 years before canon) before Sol Regem faced off with Viard (1200 years before canon). The division of Xadia was another 200 years after that. Humans had a solid honking millennium of unchecked dark magic. It is quite likely that the reason the west is entirely devoid of magic, and that humans were banished there, is because they sucked all the magic out of that half themselves. Poor innocent baby humans nothing. They got a taste of power and progress and, like real world humans, let that get WAY out of control.

2. “But Lujanne eats bugs, she’s a hypocrite for saying Claudia can’t squish bugs for pancakes” I want you to go down to your local new-age/witchy bookstore and find yourself an animist that eats meat. You are going to get glared at SO HARD if you whip out the “you think animals have souls but you eat meat!” chestnut. Because here’s the thing.

Eating meat/animal products is an act of life, necessary to sustain the life of someone else. We don’t vilify wolves for eating deer. You gotta eat to live your life, and the human (or, we can assume, bipedal humanoid) diet includes a need for complex protein chains, quite often found in animal meat. 

But the reason that we find cannibalism repulsive in western society is because it’s eating another human, despite the fact that humans are made of meat. It’s eating something that we consider sentient, dignified and possessed of a soul. Of course, the taboo also derives from the fact that you can contract prion disease from consuming human meat, but people in 11th century Normandy didn’t know that.  It is quite likely, especially given what we’ve seen of magical creatures and Ezran’s ability to talk to animals, that elves view non-human/elf creatures as sentient and possessed of a soul. If that’s the case, then OF COURSE they would see dark magic as horrific.

But eating meat is not on the same level because, as we see from the assassins, death is a part of life, and sometimes necessary. I imagine that hunting and taking a creature’s life for food is an act that is done with respect. The creatures are honored or thanked before they’re eaten or turned into leather. Highly ritualized to dignify that creature’s life.  Dark magic doesn’t do that. Dark magic sucks the whole life out, without so much of a how do you do.  It’s treating a person like a thing. It’s sucking all the life and essence out of someone so you can shoot fireballs or make fluffy pancakes. Lets be real - you don’t need to do either of those things, so the creature thus died in vain. 3. “The elves are selfish bastards for hogging all the magic.” I agree. Granted, their attitudes may have cooled in the ensuing centuries. It’s a new dawn, the era of Zubeia. We might see elves getting over their uppity selves and working to help teach humans magic. We might also see the show explore that kind of prejudice as Callum learns more magic. In fact, I hope we do. However, two wrongs dont make a right.  If Japan bombs the absolute fuckshit out of Hawaii, that does not make it okay to flash-fry Nagasaki with a weapon that blights the land and its people for years and years afterward.

To the elves (who are magical creatures and therefore totally usable as spell components), that’s what dark magic is. Suddenly, haha oh fuck, the humans have a fucking NUKE that every elf and dragon in Xadia is vulnerable to.  If a weapon was devised that ONLY a certain portion of the population was affected by, you better bet your sweet bippy that people would panic and make it forbidden and illegal, and severely punish the people who created it. ESPECIALLY if those people were already marginalized. Sucks, don’t it? Doesn’t mean the writing is bad for portraying people having a realistic reaction to something that is harmful to them. The elves aren’t justified in hogging the magic, and I hope future chapters will explore that. But the elves ARE a liiiiiittle bit justified in freaking out. I hold they could’ve come up with a better solution than BANISH HUMANS, but they didn’t. Makes for interesting story conflict, doesn’t it? 4. “Humans NEED dark magic!” / “Calling dark magic a shortcut is dumb” Did they tho? Did they really? Really really? We, modern day humans, don’t NEED smart phones (which rely on several rare earth minerals and are causing untold ecological disaster in areas where they’re miend). We, modern day humans, don’t NEED coal power (which is controlled by coal companies, who keep telling us that we totally do, despite many scientists saying that renewable energy is ready to go whenever). We don’t NEED blackberries from Mexico year-round, or a whole hell of a lot of the things we have come to rely on and consider part of our every day lives. All of these things are unnecessary and shortcuts to progress.

The only - ONLY! - good, necessary thing we’ve seen in canon that dark magic was required for was using the magma titan’s heart for saving people from famine.

A lot of the complaints about sustainable energy and efforts to heal the planet as climate change become increasingly a crisis stem from the fact that doing things RIGHT, in a way that is sustainable and doesn’t strip every last resource out of our home, is that it takes time. It takes SO MUCH TIME to do things properly. Yeah, we can keep going with our coal and our gas-guzzler cars and our fracking and our rare-earth metals... but we ARE going to run out. And then what?  Dark magic is the same principle. Eventually, you’re going to run out of resources. 

5. Where I think the show is going My main beef with those (and there’s a lot of ya, so I’m not intending to single anyone out) who say that the writing is lazy for dark magic bad elfs good is that the show is not over. Wonderstorm is doing their damndest to give us the saga. And they’ve said, out right, that there WILL be books, if nothing else.

You can’t judge a story’s merits when it’s only been half told. Right now, what the show has done is it has shown us the worst and best of the elves (for example, Khessa’s purity test vs Rayla refusing to kill Ez so she doesn’t perpetuate a cycle of violence) and the worst and best of the humans (ex: Viren forcibly turning thousands of people into monsters against their will vs Viren risking his life in order to save thousands of people from famine). The show has done well to demonstrate that there is good and bad in everyone, and it’s the choices you make and the respect you show others’ autonomy that makes you a good or bad person. The dominoes are in place. The saga has only begun. Being mad that Ezran burned an army (that he likely knew from Soren was invulnerable to fire) or that Aanya shot Kasef in the face (when Opeli would have told her that Kasef conspired behind Ezran’s back to usurp the throne, which is AN ACT OF WAR btw) means you aren’t looking at the big picture. There WILL be consequences for those actions in later seasons, mark my words.

I’m sorry if you’re a Viren or Claudia stan, but they have made choices that hurt other people, and it is in no way shape or form Ezran or Callum or Rayla or ANYONE ELSE’S fault that they made the choices they did. Instead of being mad at the show for not portraying your fav as an innocent victim, be glad that you got such a wonderfully complex set of villains who, quite likely, will get a bomb-ass redemption arc. In fact, I’ll bet you anything that Viren’s walk back from the edge has already begun. The dude fucking DIED, and he’s not going to be eager to get in there and get all grabby with the power any time soon. 

That’s what good writing IS - conflict. Tension. People making morally questionable choices. We like it because every day people are hypocrites and morally questionable. You, and I, and everyone we know. Nobody’s perfect and getting cranky and painting the protagonists with the broad villain brush so you can feel good about liking a problematic fave is... some peak tumblr bullshit, tbh.  It’s okay to like characters who aren’t perfect. How fucking boring fiction would be if everyone was perfect.

Now if I can ask my mutuals to please tag their criticisms of the show that go in the vein of “the writing is bad because dark magic is portrayed so negatively/they don’t hold the protags accountable/elves good humans bad” with “TDP critical” I would greatly appreciate it. It’s getting to the degree where things are becoming very not fun and making me cranky.  Thank you, Renee out. 

[tempo-takoyaki]

I wanna ask!! 1) Of all the fics you’ve written, which one your favorite and why? 7) Who was your favorite character to write in your fav fic, Love List, & Can You Hear the Sea? 8) Which usually came first, the title or the fic? 10) What are some facts readers may not know about your fav fic, Love List, & Can You Hear the Sea? 11) This isn't in the question list, but if you don't mind, who's your fav in your monster AU??

Wow that will be long ! Okay here I go !

1) Of all the fics you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?

Tricky question. Currently my fav one is actually one I still haven’t finished. So I’m going to choose the closest to it in the ones I posted which is “Sing me a song about a happy Goodbye”. It had been a while since I wanted to write Something similar to “Can You Hear The Sea?” and “1cm per month” and Something about Isabella and Ray’s relationship that had this kind of… “It seems alright but it’s not” feeling. Btw I actually wrote the whole fic listening to celtic music!

I do love each of my fics very much since I only post those I really like (I have a bunch of unused drafts in my phone and computer) so it is a though choice… Also I need to choose something other than “Love List” which is the most self-indulgent fic for me. I really have a lot of fun writing it. 

7) Who was your favorite character to write in “Sing me a song about a happy Goodbye”, “Love List” and “Can You Hear The Sea?” ?

I loved writing Isabella as in Sing Me a Song about a Happy Goodbye. (Which is nice since she is the focus)

In Love List, Barbara is SUPER FUN to write. She has to have this kind of seductive but absolute dumbass energy while being super horny at the same time it is hilarious. (Good thing again she is the protagonist) 

For Can You Hear The Sea? I would say Carol. It’s kind of biased since I had to imagine her whole personality since she currently is a toddler so of course I made her act how I wanted and not how the character would be. But I still really like the little story I made for her and her teenage crush on Ray. (In all the other stories I want to make her appear in she still is very close to him)

8) Which usually came first, the title or the fic?

It’s very specific for each one so I’ll make a small summary.

Can You Hear The Sea? : The title came first (though I still had some part of the plot in mind) and actually comes from two things ! The first one is a movie (and novel) called Umi Ga Kikoeru (Ocean waves) that I had watched with my father before writing it and it stucked in my mind (though the scenario has absolutely NOTHING to do with what happens in Can You Hear The Sea?) and the second one is L’Etranger (The Outsider) by Albert Camus, I studied the book in class before writing the fic and it was my main inspiration for it. There’s a recurrent theme in the book which is the sea and how it reminds of good things. the writing style is what inspired me for the way I write in Can You Hear the Sea?.

1cm per month : The title first definitely ! (since the title directed every part of the fic) Like Can You Hear The Sea? The title comes from another japanese movie called 5cm per seconds (which is the time a cherry blossom’s petal takes to fall on the ground). Again I just thought it sounded cool.

Magia and Another Heaven : The songs inspired me the titles. So the titles came first.

Caster’s Master, Let’s Play Werewolves! and Sing Me a Song about a Happy Goodbye : I needed a title. The fic came first (for most of them I had a completely different title written in my drafts, I even changed the last one a hundred times)

Yellow Tulip : I wanted flower language. I needed to find which flower. Boom. Title. But the plot came first. So fic first surprisingly.

Love List : This fic is pure self-indulgent and I wanted a title that sounded cool. And Love List came immediatly into my mind… But fic first anyway. (I actually wrote it in a draft on my phone where the input title was the serie’s one because Love List was intended to be a one-shot… oops)

Pretty? No, Cute. : Fic first surprisingly. The fic was originally called Princess, but then the last dialogue came out. And I was like… Nah.

At which point did you though it was a good idea? : Fic first. The title is me talking to myself. (But I have no regrets)

10) What are some facts readers may not know about Sing Me a Song About a Happy Goodbye, Love List, & Can You Hear the Sea?

Here I go ! (It’s long)

Sing me a song about a happy Goodbye

It was supposed to be a multi-chapter fic that was an alternate universe to Can You Hear The Sea? Where Ray and Norman stayed with Emma.

The story is set in Europe ! I didn’t specify the country but for me it was in England. 

Ray was supposed to get a girlfriend who came from Glory Bell. She was a few years older than him and was about to accept to become a Mama when she was sent to the human world with the others. She is not particularly pretty but very cute.

It’s not because Isabella was a “number” that she couldn’t get a job, but because she was a “mama”. 

All other facts are kept for the sequel with Norman POV. ;)

Love List 

I... uh… was just horny… but not too much… huh… I needed girls and sexual tension okay?! I was in a phase when I really wanted a girlfriend so I decided that I should help myself by writing this fic. Now this phase is kind of gone (lie, I still want a girlfriend but there’s school), hence why I haven’t wrote much.

Norman was supposed to be a COMPLETE ASS in this fic at first (I even wrote some of those parts). He was manipulative, possessive and jelaous as hell. Then I thought : “Norman is a gentleman. Norman wouldn’t do that.” And I re-wrote him so that he is the nice and helpeful dude he is now.

I never, and won’t, I think, published a whole dialogue between Norman and Barbara when he is forced (because of her puppy eyes) to explain to her how two girls have sex. (one of the reasons why I changed his characterization, that scene was too funny for him to be an ass)

I literally drew EVERY scene before writing them! I have sketches for all of them!

Can You Hear The Sea?

I drew most of the scenes before writing them.

“Actually, I think I would have preferred you two being dead.” is the first real replica I had thought about in the whole fic. It’s in my very first drafts. Though back then it was written as a simple “I hate you two”, followed by a “I know” from Ray.

I knew the end since writing chapter 1, but I didn’t know what would exactly be in the middle (I just thought : I want to write that, and that, and that... And we will see how it goes)

One of the cut scenes is Emma cutting her hair in front if Phil at the beach before telling him that she won’t leave him alone anymore.

A whole part of the plot that was cut was Emma’s alcoholism as well as her having her first time (understand here : sex) with her best friend at the time who was a delinquant boy, and the only person who would dare approach her. There was no feeling, and it actually was pretty lame, like a first time. 

SHELLY IS A FREAKING GYARU

Except Phil, most of the GF kids who have the legal age to work works in the family restaurant where Emma herself used to work before her illness forced her to quit. The manager loves them.

Carol’s past is light compared to the other GF kids… But it still used to be hard enough for her that she attempted suicide a year before Ray and Norman came back (yes, 12, like Ray). When she meets Ray, she is actually coming out of a heavy depression that lasted during most of her childhood.

To answer an unanswered question “Why 8 years?” Fufufu... I needed Phil to be 16. That’s it. That’s the reason. 

There was supposed to be an epilogue, and then I thought that an open end was cool.

11) This isn't in the question list, but if you don't mind, who's your fav in your monster AU??

I’m going to guess that you are talking about their monster’s type and how well I thought it would fit them. There’s two, Nat, who is a Tengu (because of their long noses) and Barbara who is a Wendigo (her design is a mess but God I’m proud of that one).

As for who in terms of how they act with their monster nature… Yuugo. Because… huh… Look up “Tanuki” in google. You will understand. *snorts like a dumb teenager* You will understand.

Thank you for all the question ! (^^)/

[shulto-masusdesus]

The Cryptid Machine [BNHA AU: Chapter 1]

Time for the cryptid machine to go wild

(this is my writing sideblog btw)

i havent written anything else in days. i pushed for it so hard. 7k in three days and its just one chapter lol, fuck (i mean i wasnt writing anything else anyway so im glad i was productive at least thanks for giving me something to do lol)

But it was also fun

I accidentally really made them into the scooby-doo gang and honestly its the best thing ive ever done unintentionally. They just fit so well

@kawaiipotatuh @vango-bango and @sooske yo hi yall said you wanted to read it so i wrote it

sorry sooske i didnt get to shiga in this chapter but hes comin,,,,this is gonna be chaptered so he’ll definitely be in this soon. definitely plot relevant because i love shiggy. 

anyway A/N over time for the story

Rating: T for language and fantasy violence (no nsfw this time this is group friend story)

tags in the tags. some body horror because cryptid-related creepiness yknow. and major character death later on so yknow

if i missed anything tell me, okay now time for the story <3

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Izuku, frankly, was stunned.

“I thought it was just a hobby!”

“A hobby?” Shouto threw back what looked to be his thirtieth Five-Hour Energy, pouring syrup on the pancakes Izuku brought without paying much attention. They were more syrup than pancake at this point, but that was hardly priority at the moment. “A hobby?”

The giant frog sitting on the table between them blinked its left eye, and then the right, after a little delay. Izuku shuddered. Too much frog, too close, too much detail. Very scaly and slimy and bumpy. Frogs were not supposed to be big. But it was easily bigger than his head, almost the size of his torso.

“How did you get it in here?”

“Thawed crickets.” Shouto raised an eyebrow, as if having frozen crickets stored for a time such as this was normal and expected. Like a madman consumed by his own craft, he picked up a syrup-coated pancake with his own two hands, and bit into it. Then he looked at the mess with mild surprise, a gaze that read “What the fuck is this? Where did all this syrup come from?” Izuku didn’t have the heart to answer him. “…You’re underestimating me.”

Izuku shut his eyes, sucked in a breath, rubbing his temples. “So. You found this frog in the woods behind your house. You just so happened to have a pack of frozen crickets-”

“No, that’s not what happened,” Shouto leaned forward, elbows on the table, the plate of pancakes Izuku brought ruined and pushed to the side, with that damned cursed light in his eyes he got when he was about to tell a story, dive head-first into a theory, or conjure up a new way to ditch work. “I’ve been hunting this frog for months. I learn about many creatures when researching,”

Scrolling r/cryptids, Izuku thought. And various other unspeakable 2chan threads and dark web sites. He sighed. Those pancakes were better than usual, too...he managed to remember to use less butter…he forgot that all the time…if he was going to make pancakes in the middle of the night, they may as well be good...what was Shouto talking about? Oh yeah, the frog.

“-and I encountered this post about a kappa sighting. It was confusing, and I almost wrote it off as another incident of someone just seeing something very mundane in the wrong light - until I recognized the location of the sighting.” There it was, Shouto’s rare grin, a look very reminiscent of the cat that finally caught the mouse. “…Heartstone Lake, on the park side of the woods.”

The giant frog grumbled. Loudly. Its chest puffed a little and Izuku felt a wild fear for what a real croak would sound like. This thing was huge. “Uhm, yeah? And?”

“So I went and checked it out.” He went over to his Wall, pointing to photo after photo, and Izuku hummed along, suddenly very, very worried about this frog in the Todoroki’s basement. This could end in many ways, and a very loud croak waking up his dad would be one of the worse ones. “Found tracks. Tracks, Izuku. You have to understand - nobody ever finds tracks.”

Izuku nodded. “Crazy.” He said, noticing how the frog’s eye was starting to slowly roll around, as if looking, scanning its surroundings. He was a little bit more than freaked out. He really had thought that this was just an interest of Shouto’s. Not something he was actually going to pursue, and that it produced a very crypid-like thing, a real result? A part of him wanted to go home and go back to bed, before Shouto decided to find a demon from hell or something. Or before the frog turned out to be a demon from hell. “…Did you do a steak-out?”

“Yes. Many steak-outs.” Shouto sighed, rubbing his face. “For…six weeks. Every night and every spare minute I could get. Along with a camera live feed setup. Only today did I actually see something, and once I did, I didn’t let it get away.” His smile was so wholesome, but the fruit of his labor was probably a harbinger of the void. Izuku was torn between supporting his friend and self-preservation.

Izuku decided to call the two people who would help back him up in whatever answer was the right one. The guardian angels, Tenya and Ochako. Because he needed help.

“I’m gonna call Tenya and Ochako.”

To Izuku’s bewilderment, Shouto deflated, smile dying, abruptly concerned. Izuku sputtered, pausing in pulling his phone out of his pocket. “What?! Do you not want them to know, or-?!”

With a sigh, Shouto grumbled, “Tenya…You know what he’d say.”

Izuku rolled his eyes. “It’s probably what you need to hear, really. Monster or not, this frog doesn’t belong indoors. We could get money for it, and what if it’s a new species or something-”

The other boy sighed. “Fine, whatever-”

The underside of the frog’s throat started expanding. Izuku watched in mute horror as it opened its mouth, and released a croak.

It was louder than Izuku expected. Very much so. His ears were left ringing from the rumbling warble, but that was hardly the biggest problem. There was a lot of thudding and yelling going on upstairs, in the upper levels of the Todoroki household; the family converging in on Shouto’s basement for whatever that definitely inhumane noise was.

Shouto’s dad was the strictest father around, and didn’t allow Shouto to have friends over on weeknights, nevermind late at night; since Izuku, an unapproved friend, basically snuck into the house on a weeknight at the unholy hour of three in the morning, he was breaking many, many rules.

And a giant fucking frog on the table in the middle of the room also would do more than raise a few eyebrows.

Shouto, however, was prepared. He pushed a mysterious white jar across the table to him, and pointed to the basement awning window. “I’ll help,” He said. “It’s actually not all that heavy.”

“Shouto! What was that?! What are you doing in there, it’s three in the morning on a school night-!”

There was his father. However, aside from the actual basement door lock, Shouto secretly installed about six extra locks, so he wasn’t getting in any time soon. “Studying, Dad,” Shouto said, heaving the massive, slimy frog off the table. He nailed he tired, annoyed, exasperated tone perfectly. Izuku opened the jar, and forced down a squeak - mushy, wet, dead crickets. “There’s a science tomorrow, I want to make sure I’m ready.”

His dad went quiet, which was his “you’re probably lying, but finding out the truth is more effort than I’m willing to put in at the moment” response. Izuku’s been witness to it a lot, as this is far from the first time he’s been a Master Lock away from getting caught. Shouto gave Izuku a look, frog in hand, as he opened the small window.

“Studying at such an…early hour is counter-productive. Get to bed, Shouto.”

“Alright.” Izuku shimmied out the window, onto the grass outside, and cringed as he opened the jar and gently picked up a soggy cricket corpse. With some difficulty, Shouto shoved the fat mass of jiggling skin through the awning, and Izuku pulled it the rest of the way out.

“Don’t let it out of your sight,” Shouto mouthed, scowling a little. Most likely because he was forced to get rid of his first find. Weird giant frog or not, it was really important to Shouto, so he couldn’t lose track of it-

The frog grumbled, and started hopping off.

“Get it!” Shouto hissed, and Izuku ran after it.

It wasn’t as fast as he thought. He caught up to it easily, and offered it a few crickets to bribe it into sitting still for a moment. Shouto’s window shut, and tense yelling ensued; Shouto buying time so he could hide incriminating evidence. His dad probably heard them.

An awkward ten minutes passed. Routinely, Izuku dropped a cricket or two, and the frog stayed put. Eventually, Shouto opened the window again, glaring.

“Take it to your house,” He said. “God knows I’m not gonna get away with hiding it here.” And he shut the window.

“So,” Izuku said, to the monster frog, dropping a couple more crickets. Its tongue flicked out to grab them, and honestly, Izuku feared for his safety. “I guess you’re coming to my place?”

 _______________________________________________________________

 Step one; get it onto his bike.

His basket was definitely big enough for the frog. He could probably stop every couple minutes to feed it a cricket so it wouldn’t struggle too much while he was on the road. It wouldn’t end well for either of them if it decided to upset the balance of the bike on the road.

He lugged the frog into the basket - it really wasn’t as heavy as it looked - and gave it a few crickets before locking the lid. Step two; get it home. That was the easy part.

The ride was mostly uneventful. The route was mostly muscle memory, so it wasn’t hard to hyperfocus on every odd rustle and bump on the back of his bike. He stopped to feed it about five times, and each time its tongue lashed out harder and faster. His fight-or-flight instinct begged him to run away from the very real monster frog on the back of his bike. He channeled the energy into maintaining cadence. If Shouto wasn’t his best friend, and wouldn’t probably murder him if he lost it, he would’ve let the frog hop into the woods when it tried to.

Finally, he reached his plain suburban neighborhood. He considered stopping at Kacchan’s house, but he’d probably kill the frog on sight, so he couldn’t rely on him for moral support. Time to call Ochako up for an early-morning napover. She said “anytime”, right?

Step three; get it to his room. His backyard didn’t have a fence, and he didn’t have a basement, and even if his mom didn’t have a panic attack when she saw the frog, she would definitely tell him to get it out of the house. Any rational person would, really. So. Hiding it in his bedroom was the only choice.

Mom never got out of bed past midnight, so it was easy to trudge inside, to his room, and to lock the door behind him. Then the frog leapt from his arms, and hopped its slimy body onto his bed. Ew. Time to call Ochako.

As promised, she answered by the fourth ring. “…Yaeah…Deku…?”

“Uhm, come to my house?” Izuku chuckled nervously. “Shouto found…uh, a giant frog, but he couldn’t keep it at his house, so I’m keeping it at mine. I need a little moral support?”

“...” Ochako sighed, a very, very long sigh. “...”

“Ochako?”

“What?”

“Shouto found a giant frog-”

“A WHAT?!”

It took Ochako all of fifteen minutes to get to his place, on foot. She took the short route to his room - through his window - and gawked at the frog for another five minutes, school backpack and sleeping bag falling from her hands.

“He - really?!”

“Yeah…”

She stared at it for a long, long time. It grumbled again. Izuku felt a sinking feeling.

“It’s - a giant frog.”

“...Yeah.”

“And…he just…?”

“No, he said he’d been looking for it for the past six weeks.”

“So that’s why he’s been passing out in class?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

Ochako stared at the frog. “I thought it was all…”

“He flipped out a little when I said I thought it was just a hobby.” He ran his fingers through his hair with a huff. “This is really important to him.”

“Well…” She mumbled, eyes wide. “We may as well…take good care of it. H…how do you get a frog to go to sleep? Don’t frogs need heat lamps? How do we take care of a frog - a giant frog-” She stomped her foot. “Did Shouto think about this at all?”

She looked at Izuku. He raised an eyebrow in return. And she fell into giggles. “Yeah,” She said. “Let’s get it in front of a heater?”

Izuku left the room, running down to the hall closet to get a heater; on his way back, Ochako suddenly screamed.

He ran to his room, and to his horror, the frog was, for lack of a better term, erupting. Blowing up like a balloon. Ochako shoved him out of the doorway, into the hall, and slammed the door shut.

“What is going on here?” Oh, his mom was up now, rushing down the hall with concern. “What happened? Ochako, very…nice to see you, but at this hour? What’s happening?”

The two teens were speechless. They looked to each other for answers, but found nothing there but shock and general horror. Tentatively, Ochako cracked the door back open.

The frog was splayed about thinly like a shed bag. Sitting on Izuku’s bed now, instead, was a girl with long green hair. And also very naked, the frog broke open and was now a naked girl-

Confusion ensued. Mom screamed a little, shocked by the frog flash bag, and Ochako and Deku screamed because the frog was gone and Shouto was now on the list of people who wanted them dead; then his mom ran in, bringing the blanket up around the girl with shaking hands and firing off questions one after another, and Izuku screamed louder because he realized that somehow the frog became the girl - Ochako screamed louder, because she realized that with Shouto’s internet skill and wide range of information sources, there was no way to hide from him.

“Izuku, who is this?! Why is she naked?!” Mom turned to him with an unfamiliar demanding tone. “Explain! Now!”

“I don’t…!” Izuku was, completely, lost. “I don’t know…! I think - she was-!?”

Ochako stopped screaming, and said, “We don’t know! She - the frog - it exploded and - it was a frog before-!”

“A frog!?” Mom shouted - his mom never shouted. Izuku felt like reality was fraying at the seams. “What-”

“RIBBIT.”

Everything stopped. Ochako stopped. His mom stopped. Izuku felt like he suddenly lost the ability to breathe, like someone clicked ‘end task’ on his lungs and his panicking head.

The girl’s eyes were very, very big, an expression of pure confusion and shock on her face. “RIBBIT!” She screeched, again.

“R…’ribbit’…?” Mom said, weakly. “What do you mean…?”

“...” The girl stared at Mom with a wild lack of recognition. Not just that she didn’t know who Mom was; she had no idea what she was seeing at all and was completely lost. Izuku was almost as lost, really. “Ribbit…”

Ochako swayed lightly, gripping Izuku’s arm. “S-so - the frog was there before - did she come out of the frog…?!”

Izuku looked at the frog flesh and slime splayed on his bed. “…P…probably…”

His mom’s expression faded from extreme shock and confusion, to general surprise. “Izuku, Ochako, please explain - what is this mess - who is she-”

“I don’t know!” Izuku burst, shaking a little. “I don’t know! It was a frog before and now its a girl and Shouto didn’t tell me and I don’t know-”

“Izuku-”

“Izuku, baby, calm down,” Mom quickly crossed the room to him, softly taking his hands. “It’s okay, I’m sorry I yelled. I’m sorry. Let’s have some tea, and we’ll talk about it, okay?”

“...O…okay.”

 _______________________________________________________________

 Tea with a splash of honey was always good. It warmed him down to his core. The girl seemed to also be enjoying it, if her regular sips were any indicator. Even if she was a bit tentative, slow, testing about it, each time.

His mom sighed heavily. “So, according to your story, she’s…”

Ochako hummed. “Yeah. I don’t believe it either. We should call Shouto.”

“He’d love this,” Izuku mumbled, staring into his tea. “He probably knows what…she is. I certainly don’t.”

“...Well,” Mom glanced at the girl. She had a permanent frown on her face. “We’ll deal with this tomorrow. Today, we’ll…well, It’s already five, isn’t it?”

Izuku dropped his head onto the table. “One hour. Please. I want sleep. I didn’t sleep at all.”

“Ditto,” Ochako also dropped her head, with a heavy thud. “No sleep. At all. I almost was asleep, but then Deku called…”

“Sorry…”

“’S alright….I wouldn’t wanna miss this.” She huffed a laugh. “Somehow, I’m glad I saw it live.”

Mom sighed again, sounding old. “Okay,” She said. “You only have about two hours, though. Remember, you both promised you would ride to school this year.”

Izuku groaned, muffling himself on the wood table. Ochako also whined. The girl watched the both of them curiously.

His mom agreed to watch the girl while they napped; Izuku was so not sleeping in his bed, so he took Mom’s bed instead. Ochako splayed out over one half of the king-sized bed while Izuku took up one third, sharing it because his mom’s bed was wonderful.

It was, without a doubt, the worst nap of his life. Because just as he was getting settled in and kind of almost sleeping, the six o’clock alarm on Mom’s bedside table buzzed loudly. Along with the knee Ochako unconsciously jammed halfway up his ass and her loud drool-snore-choke-drowning, he kind of wanted to die, to get some real sleep. The reason why he stopped sleeping in the same bed as Uraraka Ochako came back to him. Violently, in the form of a foot mysteriously journeying its way up his pants. She was just the weirdest sleeper.

He untangled himself from the covers and Ochako and trudged down the hall. He went to his room, intent on grabbing a shower before school.

He grabbed his clothes from his closet and was on his way to the bathroom before he suddenly recalled what happened last night. Where the fuck was that girl-

He ran around the house, looking for her and Mom - the car was gone from the driveway. His mom had work early in the day, so that was normal, but the girl was still nowhere to be seen. Where was she?!

He texted his mom urgently, and she responded, I left her at home. She should be there with you. Have a good day at school <3

One, was he really going to just leave her at home all day? And two, she was absolutely nowhere to be seen. He checked the kitchen, the living room, all the closets, both bedrooms, and their house was one floor and small as fuck, so there wasn’t many places to hide. She was gone.

And then Ochako screamed. Izuku could probably guess where frog girl was.

He ran to Mom’s room, and there she was, Ochako standing on the bed in a martial arts defensive position with frog girl sitting on the floor, blinking cluelessly, now dressed in spare clothes Ochako left here. But she still had such an alien air around her that it felt like the clothes didn’t quite fit her. She confounded Izuku on every level.

Izuku was cobbling together some way to react to the situation when his phone started ringing. He answered.

“H-hello?!”

“Is the frog okay?”

Shouto. Izuku felt a range of emotions, from relief to joy to murderous intent to numbness. “…It turned into a person, Shouto. A girl. Did you know this would happen!?”

A silence passed.

“Shouto?”

“...S-sorry, I…”

“Shouto, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, I just…” He sniffed faintly. “I wanted to see it.”

“You knew it would happen?!”

“No, but I had a feeling. Part of the witness reports described a frog standing on two legs like a person, and even people with frog-like features, y’know, like a person, but a frog.” Shouto sighed. “So either it was just one creature that could shapeshift to varying levels of frog to humanoid, or it was many creatures that were all varying levels of frog to humanoid. Like kappas or something.” Something tapped rhythmically in the background. “I wished I could’ve seen the shift. Do you still have the shed skin?”

“For what, Shouto,” Izuku was, frankly, pretty fed up. The frog girl was now on top of Ochako and very closely watching her, scanning her features. “What are you going to do with a giant frog flesh bag, Shouto.”

“Research.”

“Shouto.”

“Testing.”

“Shouto! You’re missing the-”

“Fine!” The other boy huffed roughly. “I’m gonna call Mei and cash in a debt to use her research facilities.”

“Shouto, I love you, but you have a C in chemistry. But that’s beside the-”

“She’s going to examine the frog skin, okay?! That’s it! Sorry I don’t have a genetics lab in my fucking basement!”

Izuku tried to be exasperated, but he ended up fighting back a smile. “N-no, Shouto, that’s not - I - whatever Mei has to do with it, it’s a nasty sack of frog skin, Shouto. I was talking more as in, ‘it’s absurd that you would want it, so why’, not ‘you don’t have the means to do anything with it, so why’.”

Shouto went quiet. “…” It was a long, self-depreciating quiet.

“Look,” Izuku said, smile fading, because fuck, Shouto drove him crazy sometimes. “Get your ass over here and help me decide what we’re going to do about her. She can’t stay here while we’re at school all day, can she?”

“I don’t see why not,” Shouto mumbled. “Can’t take her to school. Can’t let her loose.”

“Shouto, you have the skin, basically, so you have a model of what the crypid frog looks like, right? And proof?”

“Yeah. That’s the best part.”

“So do we really need to keep her?” Izuku watched as the girl tried to lick Ochako with a freakishly long tongue. Being a reasonable human being, the brown-haired girl was scrambling away before she made contact. “She’s…well, I mean, endangered species preservation, right? And - I dunno, what’re we gonna keep her for? She looks like a person, kind of…it’d be weird. Morally.”

“...How human does she seem?”

“One hundred percent. She has big eyes, but that can be passed off as a feature, y’know?” Ochako ran to the doorway - the girl opened her mouth wide, tongue flicking out, and it reached all the way across the room, wrapping around Ochako’s waist and pulling her back in. Izuku flinched as his friend shrieked. “…But her tongue is super long and weird, like a frog’s, and she currently has captured Ochako with it.”

“...Well, human meat doesn’t sit well with frogs, so she isn’t going to try to eat her. Unless she’s an adventurous type or something. I mean, she is a monster, so she’s probably full of surprises. Don’t trust her.” Shouto laughed, like this was a joke. Izuku didn’t find it very funny...How did he know that human meat doesn’t sit well with frogs…?

Ochako was released once she was dragged close enough for the girl to grab her. “So we’re just gonna leave her in my house for the day.”

“Yeah.”

“There are hazards everywhere, Shouto.”

“She’ll probably be fine.”

“But what if my Xbox isn’t, Shouto? What if she burns my house down, Shouto? What if she breaks my Xbox Shouto-”

“Forget about your Xbox,” Shouto snapped. Izuku gasped loudly. “It’ll be fine. She won’t mess with anything. I think. And like you said, if she escapes, it isn’t that bad. As long as the skin is still there, she exists. That’s all I need. I have to take a shower before school, I smell like black coffee and steroids. Later.”

And there he went. Almost angrily, Izuku pocketed his phone and said, “H-hey!”

Frog girl looked at Izuku boredly. “Help me,” Ochako begged, held captive by the two arms around her waist. Izuku debated the pros and cons of tearing her away from the literally mutant creature. What was the likelihood of survival?

“We have an hour before we meet up with Shouto,” Izuku stated flatly. “I’m taking a shower first.”

“No!” In a flash, Ochako twisted free of her bindings and was out of the room, and zooming down the hall. “You take all the hot water!”

Izuku sighed. Frog girl, covered in her own hair like she was drowning in it, stared at him with wide green eyes. He averted his gaze, nervously.

“U-uh, hi,” He said. Wow, could he be any more awkward? Well, she wasn’t human, so it wasn’t like she’d pick up on any of human societal nuances-

“Hi.”

She said. She fucking said. She said?! She said. She talked. She said words. She said ‘hi’. Whoawhoawhoa - it had to be simple parroting, it had to be just-

“Where did she go.”

Izuku felt the inexplicable urge to cry. “Wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-”

Frog girl stared at Izuku, eyes peeking between strands of hair with a strange light. “Where is she.”

“I-I-I-I-I-d-d-d-d-on’t-”

She stood up, and walked past him with halting, almost jerking steps. She left the room, and looked one way, then the other. “…”

“O-O-Ochako?!” Izuku felt like curling up in a corner and sobbing wildly. He felt like he just looked into the void and it talked back to him. He felt a number of things, and all of them involved some level of existential terror. “Sh-she’s i-in the sh-shower…D-don’t-”

She was already on her way down the hallway. Izuku didn’t really think upsetting this being of mysterious and potentially reality-breaking power was a good idea. Technically, she was another girl, so it wouldn’t be that weird for her to walk in on Ochako, right? Uh.

Right on cue, Ochako screamed. Izuku groaned. By finding this cursed being, Shouto effectively turned his life upside down. For better or worse was yet to be seen. But from how Ochako was currently fighting frog girl out of her shower, it was probably for worse. Would his life ever go back to normal?

 _______________________________________________________________

 By some miracle, they managed to get on the road on time, meeting up with Shouto on the way. While he and Ochako rode very practical bikes, he rode a skateboard. Why, he refused to really tell. If he wasn’t wearing his school uniform, he’d look like he was in the wrong decade. And somehow the uniform made it look even tackier. But it was alright. It wasn’t like he was bad at it; in fact, he pulled many moves that were reminiscent of a certain famous skateboarder, but he was also from the wrong decade. Somehow, it suited him. He, to a concerning level, didn’t care what other people thought of him, so it was okay. Just weird.

“So,” Shouto said, cruising along with Ochako, keeping up easily despite having much smaller wheels. Also weird. “Show me a pic of her.”

“A what?” Izuku blinked.

“A picture.” Shouto raised an eyebrow. “Don’t tell me you didn’t take a picture.”

“...”

Ochako shrugged, rhythmically tapping her bell. “Didn’t think to.”

The boy huffed. “You guys are the worst,” He said. “How are we supposed to get proof that she shapeshifted if we didn’t get the after picture?”

“Shouto, I’m tired,” Izuku sighed. “I’m sorry. But this is way over my head. I’m not good at…this paranormal cryptid stuff. It’s fun when it’s just creepy stories, but - I dunno, this is too much.” He shuddered. “She talked. Just, started saying words. Like a normal person - super blunt and to the point, but it was like she said it like that on purpose. She knew. Just like that. And she was a frog before-”

“She talked?!” Shouto’s eyes lit up. “What did she say? What did her voice sound like? Ugh, I wish we got it on tape-”

“Shouto!” Izuku snapped. “Pay attention! Forget that stuff - I don’t want any part in it anymore! I’m scared! After school, we’re gonna let her go, and that’s gonna be the end of it! Okay!?” If there’s even a home to return to, Izuku thought bitterly.

Shouto stared at him, blankly. Then he looked away. “…Alright.”

Ochako whistled. “You guys fall out hard,” She said. “I give it…three days before one of you starts apologizing.”

Izuku’s face burned. He was the one apologizing, most of the time. But not this time, He thought resolutely. He wasn’t at fault here. Shouto was going to apologize to him, for dragging him into this mess in the first place.

 _______________________________________________________________

 [10:25 A.M.]

nessie: im dying. im actually dying

shouto: why

nessie: what the fuck is a lamange

nessie: mange is a disease

nessie: in french it means what??? food???? kill me

shouto: it means eat

shouto: pay attention in class and you might get it

nessie: fuck you

nessie: youre the last person i want to hear that from

shouto: ow

nessie: Rip Believe It Or Not

shouto: Ripley’s I Know This Stuff Is Real, But I Can’t Handle It, Dog

nessie: nibyguvtfcu

nessie: so you do get it

shouto: get what

shouto: what

nessie: oh my god

nessie: Oh My God

nessie: you are a national treasure

nessie: you know that

shouto: ??????

shouto: ?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!!what am I missing now

nessie: shut up for a minute teach coming

shouto: well I hope not thats a little inappropriate

---

[10:30 A.M.]

nessie: shouto holy shit what the fuck oh my god what the fuck

nessie: dude

shouto: yeah I sent that without thinking

shouto: and then I couldnt send a correction because

shouto: and yeah

nessie: dude

pppppppppppink: whats happening

pppppppppppink: oh wow what was that shouto hahahahha

shouto: oh my god look it was an accident

tenya: ochako its hardly fair to make fun of him for that

tenya: it was an honest mistake

nessie: tenya coughs, “unfortunately”

shouto: say that shit to my face deku

shouto: whos on the football team huh

nessie: surprised you caught that

nessie: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

shouto: i am going to kill you,

pppppppppppink: hey no death threats on my friendly christian minecraft server

nessie: deadmeme

tenya: yes, death threats are not the way to handle strife between friends

tenya: but neither were those insults, izuku

tenya: you know shouto’s skill does not warrant comments such as those

nessie: hes gonna get a coma i know it

tenya: what does that have to do with anything

nessie: football

nessie: caveman sport

tenya: that is inappropriate

shouto: dudedudedude look man

shouto: im sorry okay

nessie: FOR WHAT SHOUTO

shouto: I DONT KNOW

pppppppppppink: wow that was fast

tenya: please quiet teacher

------

[10:35 A.M.]

shouto: look man I dont know what youre so angry about

nessie: im not angry

pppppppppppink: izuku coughs, “im furious”

nessie: im n o t

tenya: izuku i believe you are, in fact, angry

nessie: im not angry

shouto: youre angry

nessie: SHOUTO WHAT THE FUCK MAN

nessie: EXCUSE ME IF IM A LITTLE SHAKEN UP ABOUT YOU DROPPING A FUCKING FROG DEMON ONTO ME

shouto: i wouldve kept it if i could

shouto: but i forced it onto you without asking

shouto: sorry

nessie: “sorry if i valued a mythical creature above my friends feelings”

shouto: well fuck

shouto: i tried

shouto: yeah fuck you

shouto: i wouldve loved to have it

shouto: you love it when i talk to you about it so what the fuck is the difference

nessie: THEYRE JUST STORIES

nessie: S T O R I E S

nessie: I DONT WANT THEM TO BE REAL

nessie: ITS TOO MUCH

nessie: ITS SCARY

shouto: dude theres always a chance of the stories being real

shouto: you didnt know that

nessie: dontdothat

nessie: i dont want to think of them like that

nessie: no one wants them to be real

shouto: i do

nessie: yeah but ur a weirdo

tenya: foul

pppppppppppink: yeah try again

pppppppppppink: stay within bounds

nessie: are you reffing our fight

tenya: yes

tenya: go on

shouto: dude if you dont want any part of it then ill take her okay

shouto: okay?

nessie: that isnt it

nessie: because ur gonna be all weird about it and be all offended

nessie: bullshit

nessie: were gonna straighten this out here

nessie: rn

tenya: as a distraction in class.

nessie: sure

shouto: im not gonna be offended

pppppppppppink: hahahahhahahhha

shouto: im not

tenya: you will be offended

nessie: you will be offended

nessie: you dont think my fear is valid

shouto: being scared of it and pushing it away isnt going to make it disappear

shouto: theres a monster under your bed whether you want it to be there or not

nessie: oh my FUCKING GOD SHOUTO

nessie: THIS IS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT

nessie: YOU DONT LISTEN TO ME

shouto: i am

shouto: im doing nothing but listening to you

shouto: im getting on aizawas nerves

tenya: he means respect

tenya: you arent respecting him

tenya: as evidenced by you “twisting the knife”, for lack of a better term

tenya: you understand that stories of paranormal activities entertain him?

shouto: yes

tenya: the rift seems to lay in the fact that although he enjoys them as stories, he does not wish them to be real, intimate experiences

tenya: this is where you two seem to split

tenya: because you strive to live the stories

pppppppppppink: *is eating popcorn* marriage counseling :D

shouto: i mean who wouldnt

nessie: I DONT I DONT I DONT I DONT I DONT

nessie: NONONONONONONONO

nessie: UCK AMN DO YOU THIINK I WANNA FUCKING

nessie: THAT IS

nessie: NOOONONONONOONONO

shouto: shit man calm down

shouto: so it scares you

nessie: fuck yess??? you get it????finally????

shouto: why

[nessie has left the group chat.]

pppppppppppink: dude you messed up

shouto: .

tenya: i advise understanding

tenya: not everyone feels the same way you do

shouto: well duh

shouto: but it isnt scary

shouto: .

pppppppppppink: are you hearing yourself? finally?

pppppppppppink: not to be mean, ur just

pppppppppppink: really dense :D

tenya: to him, it is scary.

tenya: and thats just how he works

tenya: youll have to respect that

shouto: but its not scary

tenya: that is an opinion, shouto

tenya: not fact. it varies from person to person

tenya: you have to respect his opinion, shouto

shouto: .

shouto: god

shouto: fine

tenya: now what’s this about a “frog demon”?

pppppppppppink: ohohoohooho

shouto: first of all, it isnt a demon

pppppppppppink: do i have a story for you!

 _______________________________________________________________

 Izuku settled on giving Shouto the cold shoulder. It lasted out of school and on the way home, even as they pulled up to his house. Even as he kept pestering him with his constant, creepy, begging stare. Fuck him. Because if he talked first, he’d end up apologizing. And he couldn’t do that. He wasn’t the one at fault.

The frog girl was gone. They searched high and low, all over his house, but she was nowhere to be seen. Izuku found the frog skin wrapped up in the dumpster outside, and threw it at Shouto without a word. Shouto didn’t say anything, either.

“Hm,” Ochako popped a sucker into her mouth. “I changed my mind. Two days.”

Izuku grumbled, flushing bright red.

“I find this whole story a little hard to believe,” Tenya said, and Izuku felt a wild urge to punch him. “You mean to tell me that this so-called giant frog split open and turned out to be a young girl? Who is now missing?”

“Tenya, I wish it didn’t happen,” Izuku crossed the driveway, grabbing the taller boy by his quarterback shoulders. “I wish desperately that it didn’t happen. But it did.”

“Oh yeah,” Ochako said, nodding. “It was crazy. I wouldn’t believe it if I hadn’t been there.” With a shrug, she added, “Still kinda in doubt. It was super late.”

“Maybe it was a dream?”

“No,” Shouto said, coming up to show Tenya something on his phone. “Pictures. Video. It’s real. The frog, at least. I also have samples at home. I did some research - actually, there are some frogs that can grow up to about the size of our frog, but they can only live in equatorial Guinea. Without the girl, the skin only proves that a new species of giant frog lives in the area unless they map its genome or something.” He shrugged. “Not the story I was looking for, but cool nonetheless.”

“’Story’?” Izuku bristled. “What are you even looking for, Shouto? Why are you doing this at all?” Whoops. But he couldn’t help it. He’d been wondering it for a while, but this was the breaking point. Would he just hand the girl over to scientists for testing if he did have her? Would they take advantage of the fact that she isn’t human to do whatever they wanted? What was Shouto getting from this? Money? Fame? He wasn’t the type who would search out stuff like that, so what-?!

“Huh?” Shouto tilted his head. “...Why not? It’s fun.”

He could scream. Angrily, he stomped back to the porch, yanking open his door and ready to lock it behind him-

-and the kitchen was a mess, like a tornado whizzed around in the few moments they went outside. The dining table was on its side, chairs thrown around, cabinets raided and foodstuffs everywhere. The fridge was open, and judging from the aggressive clinking going on, someone was there. Izuku could probably guess who it was. But why now? She barely touched anything, earlier.

And then she peeked above the fridge door. Izuku screamed.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

if anyone knows how to color text please tell me because i spent a lot of time coloring the chat messages in the original doc and im sad it didnt carry so please and thank you tell me,