#btw I'm not talking about their labels as a part of the family

[arvandus]

Hello hello, I know you're not really talking about him recently but truthfully i feel like you understand Dabi's personality the most. So i wanted to ask what MBTI you think he relates to the most?

So, as per usual, the weekend was a bit busy with IRL stuff. But now I'm finally able to answer this!

First off, thank you SO MUCH, it really means a lot to me that you feel I understand him the most. That's very high praise because there are some truly amazing writers and meta-analyzers on here that also have amazing takes on Dabi and his personality.

Also, PLEASE talk to me about Dabi! I still love him so so much, I'll never get tired of answering asks about him, truly. I know I haven't written for him recently, but I don't love him any less.

Okay, back to your question...

So I've looked at this a few different ways... First, I went through and took the personality test as "Dabi"; i.e., I answered the questions the way that I think HE would answer them (this is different from how others may perceive him, btw). I used the test on www.16personalities.com, and the result that I ("Dabi") got was INTP, i.e., the Logician. I also looked at what was listed for him under the personality database website, which was ISFP, the Adventurer. Finally, I simply read up on what each of the categories were on Wikipedia, and thought about it. From what I understand and through my observations of him, I would label him as INFP, the Mediator.

Below the cut I'll show the personality test results, and discuss them by comparing them to the other results. Beware though, both anime and manga spoilers will be present because I use some specific examples to explain the results.

So, from the 16personalities test, here is what Dabi got:

Here's the rest of the descriptors for INTP-T:

I think for the most part this is accurate for him, at least for how he perceives himself. But I think there are going to be some key differences between how he sees himself and how we, as observers, see him.

Let's start...

Introversion:

We definitely can't deny that he's introverted, and that's clear across all three personality types that were assigned to him. He's never meshed well with others, especially on first meetings, thanks to his abrasive personality and very thick walls. This introvertedness may not seem as obvious when one thinks about how badly he wants the attention of his family, and his willingness to go public with his past, etc. But think of those moments... of him recording himself, of him dancing in front of Enji as he revealed himself... think of those things as a performance. Think introverted theater kid. And even then, it wasn't exactly for the purpose of the public's attention, but for his father's attention. His broadcast? Pre-recorded, not live. His face-off with his dad? He didn't give a shit that others were there and watching; his focus narrowed like a singularity; it was only him and his father in that moment.

Another helpful thing to keep in mind is that Introversion doesn't mean you don't want to be around others; it just means that you recharge best when you are by yourself. Dabi still definitely wants to be seen by his loved ones, but I think he is naturally an introverted person in that isolation is something he enjoys as a way to rest and rejuvenate himself. I see him finding most people exhausting to be around.

Intuitive:

This was the one of the portions that differed from his MBTI on the personality database, and I actually agree with the test result more. I see Sensing/Observation as "the scientist" and Intuition as "the philosopher," and I definitely feel that Dabi is more Philosopher than Scientist. Whereas Sensing/Observation is more literal, in the now, and taking things at face value, Intuition is not. That's not to say that Dabi doesn't observe; he absolutely does. But he does so through the lens of his ideals and how all of these individual pieces fit together into his belief system.

Wikipedia describes Intuitive as "imagining the possibilities of how things could be; notice the big picture, see how everything connects; enjoy ideas and concepts for their own sake, and likes to describe things in a figurative, poetic way." While I don't necessarily see him as figurative or poetic, I do think he's a bit of an idealist. He's someone who looks at the bigger picture, who's able to extrapolate a lot of information through observation, more so than what's immediately in front of him. He's a bit of a creative genius in that way, and it's shown by how quickly he was able to develop his quirk through watching his father's battles, and later with his brother, with practically zero practice. Additionally, he's a dreamer, always wanting more for himself, even when he was young, which was why his inability to meet his father's standards was such a huge blow to him. He could see the big picture of heroism and what it meant to society, his family, and to his father (and by proxy to himself) and to not be able to see himself as a part of that picture was incredibly damaging for him. Now, this intuition isn't necessarily something he's utilized for positive gains, at least not positive for others; his focus is very selfish/self-centered in this regard. But he's still able to idealize, imagine, and extrapolate. I also think he'd enjoy deep conversations about morals and hypotheticals, and enjoy playing devil's advocate quite often. He never takes things at face-value, always looking at what's underneath.

Thinking:

This was an interesting one, and the one that I think I wouldn't exactly agree with as an observer of his character. BUT, I think Dabi would believe that he's more thinking than feeling. We know that he's incredibly ruled by his emotions in his decision-making; and I think he embraces those emotions a bit more openly once his big reveal finally happens and he's able to fully pursue his conflict with his father (and by proxy his brother). But, I think Dabi fancies himself as someone who thinks 'logically,' who is smart and isn't swayed by the hearts of others. We see this in how he keeps others at arm's length; at how he keeps a level head during the summer training camp arc, etc. But, at the same time, later on, we see more of his vulnerable side. His strangely kind gesture and words towards Toga was spurred by his care for her. His reaction to Twice's death heavily impacted how he battled Hawks. And of course, we see how emotional he really is with regards to his family.

Now granted, he would most definitely put a 'logical' decision that will get him the result he wants over someone else's feelings, in most cases. When it gets down to it, his feelings will take priority over others' feelings, 9 times out of 10. But that doesn't mean he's a Thinking type; that just means he's selfish, and that if anyone's feelings are going to be listened to, it'll be his own. This doesn't surprise me considering his history of being emotionally neglected, let alone all of the other things that happened to him. Typically, a Feeling type would have a strong sense of altruism for others because they can easier empathize with them... and I think a part of him does empathize with his league comrades, which was why he behaved the way he did with Twice and Toga. But I think overall for Dabi, his Feeling is turned more inward, as he's empathizing with himself. It's a form of self-preservation, a way for him to protect his damaged ego. It clouds his judgment in the sense that he thinks he's not emotional because he's not easily moved by others; and yet, he's very emotionally moved by himself and his own pain.

Perceiving/Prospecting:

This, along with introversion, was consistent across the board of all three methods I used to analyze Dabi. The definition alone from the test describes Dabi to a T; good at improvising and adapting; flexible noncomformist, valuing novelty over stability. Need I say more? Also, Wikipedia describes it as: prefer to leave your options open; see rules and deadlines as flexible; like to improvise; spontaneous...

By contrast, Judging is much more rigid/structured, which doesn't really fit Dabi at all. Judging is all about planning, organizing, staying on task and meeting deadlines... I think Dabi is far too ADHD for that (Shh, I'm not projecting, I swear!).

Just think of it this way: if Dabi had the perfect upbringing and never became a villain, what kind of job would you picture him having? Would he have a desk job, pushing papers and sitting through meetings, doing the 8-5 grind? Or would he have something a little more spontaneous, more flexible, something that would mentally (and likely physically) engage him?

I rest my case.

So, I'd say that there are two answers to your question. If you're really looking at what would Dabi identify himself as, I would say the test would be the most accurate: INTP. (he'd also really like the title of the Logician; it would totally stroke his ego!).

BUT, if you're looking for more what his "true" personality would be, I would say INFP.

Now, the irony of this is that I'm an INFP. Actually, I used to be an INFJ, and that's what I thought I was while writing most of this up. I retook the test earlier today because I was curious if my results had changed at all over the past few years, and apparently they did, and it just so happens to align with what I was assigning Dabi. This could either mean that me assigning INFP to Dabi is due to implicit bias, as I see a lot of myself in him and vice versa, and it's possible that the two have gotten muddled a bit. Alternatively, it could also mean that I'm able to write him so clearly because I understand his character and his personality in a very, well... personal way.

Anyway, I hope that helps! Let me know what you think and which MBTI type you think fits him best! 💕

[klxudykai]

my guide to making scripts ☆

i’ve had my fair share of making scripts (cause i'm obsessed) so i thought i’d share how i make them (with examples)

btw i make my scripts on notion^^

general things to add

- so first, choose the aesthetic you want. it can be something like “black and white grunge” or “green forest”. i get most of my pictures from Pinterest cause that’s where most high quality photos are ofc. so for the icons i always put “icons” after whatever aesthetic im going for because the search shows square photos. if you don’t want to add a photo for every page you have, you can just look up smth like “solid black background” (specifically solid cause if not it’ll give you a photo instead).

- for photos to add throughout the script i highly suggest going to tumblr cause you'll get higher quality photos. you technically could use pinterest, too but you might not find a decent quality photo. you might have to scroll a bit depending on what you're looking for but you shouldn’t have a problem finding what you need 🤷🏾‍♀️ (keep in mind that depending on how small the photo is, it might turn out with bad quality)

-this part is optional considering your scripts will still look pretty without it, but if you want to, you can add dividers. not just the ones that are on notion but a colorful one once again those can be found on tumblr (if you intend on sharing the script make sure to give credit to who made the dividers!!). i haven't quite figured out how to make them hence why i dont add them to every script cause they dont always have the color i want

(i personally prefer the solid color once for aesthetic reasons, but its totally up to you which divider you want to use)

-next that i like to add are symbols. you can easily find those by searching up "copy and paste symbols" and something should pop up. try to refrain from using language characters cause from what i've heard it can be offensive. go for something like a heart or a star (stars are my personal go-to)

-i usually add the symbols in the title and on the toggle lists (yes my safe word is “back to the ghetto” LMFAO)

structuring

so my scripts are always set up like this:

personal: basics, appearance, personality, wardrobe, backstory, house/car

relationships: family, friends, partner, pets

media (this part is optional depending on what year you're shifting to): phone, tiktok, instagram, twitter, youtube

extra: safety, first day, scenarios

depending on the dr it is, i'll usually add an extra section. so for example if i'm shifting to a dr where i go to school ill add a section labeled "school" and have the class, dorms (if you have any), backpack, and whatever extra stuff about the school.

if i have a dr where i have powers or something then i would add a section for that with the pages named combat (where you can add how you fight and what abilities you have), how you inherited your powers (you can also add to this section if you're a hero, villain, vigilante,etc), if you are a hero or something then you can add another page with what your suit looks like and then add the extra gadgets you have along with it

(i'll use my spiderverse and mha script as an example so you can see what i'm talking about)

details i had throughout the script

colored texts: so when im highlighting something important like my dr name, nicknames, mbti, etc

dividers: im telling you dividers make everything look sm more neat. it doesn't even have to be a colored one it could be the notion divider

bold texts: i feel like this just makes things look more aesthetically pleasing idk

a hint i learned: you can put texts right next to each other

anyways i think that's all the tips i have to give when it comes to scripts, if you have any questions pls lmk ^^

i also made a script that you guys can use for reference and if you plan on using it as a script make sure to duplicate it (the option to do that is on the top right of the screen)

(pls don't let this flop i worked so hard)

pookie also wanted to be tagged so @lovebvni

[gloriousmonsters]

what is the new book concept?? (if you don’t mind sharing — but if you do mind it’s ok not to reply)

also what is that font you used btw? is there a full alphabet somewhere and if so would you mind sharing the link? i like that it’s a very understated gothic-looking serif. or very calligraphic looking i guess

sure thing!! with the understanding it's a lot more half-baked than most of the ideas I've been talking about, so i'm going to briefly walk you through the few ideas that went into it before explaining (also briefly) what it is so far, lol. Also, the font is Fondamento - it was one of the fonts available in Photopea (free online photoshop-like) which I used to make the cover, but it looks like it's also on Google Fonts. If you want to know how I did the bronze metallic-ink-ish look for the text I can expound on that as well, btw, or you can just enjoy the font :)

So I've been having a resurgence of my Tempest emotions

(for those who are unfamiliar. i would summarize it, but it would take a long time. just. find a summary and read it with a MASSIVE grain of salt that's labeled 'prospero is an asshole and nobody understands Caliban but tumblr user gloriousmonsters and the poet Robert Browning')

and this time reading it was especially having fun with the parallels between Caliban and Miranda's characters and also thinking about how EXTREMELY weird and screwed up their relationship would have been growing up.

Despite interpretations/stories based on it sometimes having it otherwise, in canon neither of them seem to have ever seen or spoken to Ariel (at least in capacity as A Person You Can Talk to; Caliban is more aware of the spirits Prospero commands in abstract, at least). Aside from Prospero, who is notoriously not good at being present for what he's supposed to be looking after, they are the only human being the other one knows. It's serving twisted Eden vibes. It's serving tmg's 'the last man on earth'. it's serving 'not that Prospero would have encouraged it, but to an extent they must have seen each other as family, right? especially in Miranda's case, considering she grew up her entire life with him. the psuedoincest is off the charts'. Then shit goes bad (in whatever way you want to interpret) and now suddenly they're in a place of seeing each other daily, because Caliban does literally everything around the place, but having an uncrossable rift of mutual hurt and betrayal between them* that has little choice but to curdle and get worse because neither of them can do anything to change their situation. Depending on how lines are assigned, they never speak to each other in the play. And they have nobody else to talk to save for cursing out Prospero (Caliban) or trying to get in two words between Prospero's monologues (Miranda). And then the play events happen and they just part ways because Prospero has decided it, after probably expecting they'd be stuck in this forever. And then the next-to-only person you've ever known is on a different landmass and you're probably never going to see them again. it's So fucked.

Anyway I was revolving all of that with quiet awe in my head, and going 'man, I want to write a fucked up Caliban/Miranda book, but I don't have a non-play plot and I don't want to just write a prequel'

Then I encountered Caliban upon Setebos for the first time, and despite the fact i could still nitpick some things it slaps insanely. Only good Tempest fanfiction. It's a long poem consisting of Caliban theorizing about Setebos--a god his mother supposedly got her witch powers from, but that Caliban knows very little about. He theorizes that Setebos is either indifferent or malignant or both--impossible to predict, driven by whim. The only other divine force is 'the Quiet', an even more inhuman and incomprehensible force that doesn't do anything at all; cosmology is cruel, the world a sandbox under the eye of a god with as many arms as a cuttlefish, capricious and sadistic, whom we can only hope will someday grow decrepit and sleep, which is the closest to it being dead we can pray for--

It was about this point I realized Caliban/Browning was inventing the Lovecraft mythos 50ish years ahead of schedule, and got hit by the lightning bolt of 'PUT ELDRITCH BEINGS IN IT' and, five seconds later 'CALIBAN DESERVES TO BE A MAGICIAN' and five seconds after that 'miranda deserves to break out of being her father's Perfect child, let's set it in the future and kill Prospero off'

So Bitter Heart (taken from a line in the poem, 'Caliban/a bitter heart that bides its time') is conceptually a dual perspective novella/short novel focused on how about nine years after the conclusion of The Tempest, Miranda (unmarried, I'll handwave it; Ferdinand bores me so much sorry dude) finds her father dead and surrounded by rambling half-incomprehensible notes, remnants of a type of magic that's far different from his old ways, and a creeping sense of Wrongness that begins to slowly manifest in distortion, mutation and decay of elements of reality. People search for solutions while Miranda tries to find the source of the bizarre power in her father's notes and what hidden books she can unearth from his study, but she hasn't made it very far before a man comes to Milan at the behest of someone who's decided we should throw magic at the magic problem--a man she's heard rumors of as the hot new 'guy you keep in your court for a bit to show him off at parties because he's learned and also Moorish or something, he has this crazy backstory that's probably fake but is a lot of fun, also he does magic probably' in other cities, but never met.

A man who, when they meet face to face, turns out to be Caliban, who after about a year of 'finally peace and quiet' realized that living completely alone on an island was going to drive him insane and also he still really wanted revenge on Prospero (and had a lot of ambiguous ideas about what he wanted from Miranda) so he scraped together what Prospero had left behind and taught himself magic for the next few years until he could figure out a way off the island. He's extremely annoyed that after that, and after spending more years building himself up and finding his footing in the outside world, Prospero had the nerve to die RIGHT before he showed up, even if he wasn't promised a reward if he can stop people's arms from turning into fishes and shit he'd find out what did it so he can give it a piece of his mind. Miranda understandably never planned for this scenario and has a really hard time knowing what to feel about it, but she and Caliban form a tentative truce in order to try and figure out wtf Prospero was doing before he croaked.

There'll be intercut flashbacks to their past and the time they spent becoming incredibly codependent and eventually tipping into confused romantic attraction and sexual experimentation, which both of them have tried very hard to convince themselves was a bad idea for one reason or another, it clearly wasn't and will never be good for them, etc; and of course in present day they both immediately resume having bitter gothic sexual tension and trying to ignore the instinct that, now they've met each other again, they're the only two real people in a world of dreams and spirits.

Also they have to find the entrance to an eldritch realm and figure out what's coming through and how to stop it, and have a lot of insanely weird and pretentious thoughts/conversations about God and sin and abuse and vengeance/hatred and so on. So that's the mess Bitter Heart is at the moment :P

*ymmv may vary on how justified on either side depending on the situation, obviously

[nightmyst14-blog]

CRK/CROB Valentine's Day 3-4

Part 3, everyone!!! I know im kinda late on, (been busy) , but I still wanted to finish it.

As before, I'll be doing one Romantic, one Platonic, and Familial headcanons. I labeled them so no one can call me out for shipping children with adults (DISGUSTING).

Btw, these are all MY headcanons and thoughts. Don't leave any hate messages here if you don't like something.

Romantic- Oyster x Captain Caviar

(2nd favorite older couple, love them)

-tall wife x short husband

-Met as kids/teens, she found him working on one her family's ships loading cargo and scrubbing floors. She offered him and gave him lunch, even though he declined many times. Then on, Caviar will always repay her kindness.

-Siren x mershark supremacy, they go on nightly swims together. ( In cookie form or mercookie form, that's up to you, I'm good with both)

-Oyster always tends to his wounds whenever he comes back from his trips (Caviar's usually fine, but he's not gonna stop her doting on him)

-Adopted Sorbert Shark as their kid. Caviar isn't a fan of Sorbet wanting to become a pirate, but supports him nonetheless by teaching them how to run a ship properly. Excellent stepfather to Oyster 's daughter, Bubble Pearl.(@queen-rainy-love 's oc)

-For nicknames, Caviar calls Oyster " his seashell or treasure" Oyster doesn't really do many nicknames beside " my love or dear" but sometimes she will will him " Captain" sweetly just to make him flustered

Platonic- Werewolf, Crunchy Chip, and Red Velvet

-Dog/wolf best friends!!

-tend to share the few braincells they have between each other ( sometimes Werewolf has the most)

-Werewolf met Crunchy while visiting Dark Choco in the Dark Cacao kingdom (DarkWolf supremacy). Crunchy Chip thought he was a threat until the prince explained. Became fast friends after that. Soon met Red Velvet after White Lily visited the Dark Cacao kingdom once again. Velvet was skepical at first, thinking that they would be put off by his cake-beast features. But the two actually liked his odd features. Finding him to be very cool, much to Velvet's surprise.

-Crunchy and Velvet are helping Werewolf to get comfortable with his beast side slowly, even got him to shift in front of them for short periods of time

-Velvet gets kinda jealous whenever Crunchy and Werewolf talk about their boyfriends. Meanwhile, the two are trying to find Velvet a date

-Late night/ Midnight howling sessions are constant between the three

-will fight each other over the last piece of steak and then immediately make up afterwards

Familial- Hollyberry and Dark Cacao

-Known each other since they were children. Dark Cacao's father had remarried to Hollyberry's mother, making them stepsiblings. Dark Cacao is the older sibling.

-Their bond is the strongest between the 5 ancients

-Hollyberry was actually a shy girl when she was young, due to her mother's harsh and high expectations on her. Dark Cacao helped her become more open and expressive as they grew up together. Became extremely close, almost like blood-related siblings.

-Ran off when they were adults to escape their parents rule, ending up becoming two powerful rulers

-Dark Cacao likes to braid Hollyberry's hair whenever she was stressed or sad.

-When Hollyberry is upset, she goes to Dark Cacao for comfort and quiet. Whenever Dark Cacao needs a laugh, he goes to Hollyberry for one.

-Dark Cacao was excited he was a great-uncle to Hollyberry's grandchildren, one time sending a gift to Princess's 22nd birthday. It was a coat for whenever she decides to visit his kingdom.

[daandyli0n]

ok ill bite. whats this about turning block people into rock people (the gem au btw)

HOO BOY, I'VE HAD THIS AU IN MY MIND FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS NOW:

so! general gist of the au's premise: the dsmp characters and (part of) the plot get put into a Steven Universe kind of world, where there are Gems (rock aliens that have no gender. i'm pretty sure that's canon) and humans. the characters, depending on what i think would be cool, are split between these two species. it doesn't follow the plot of SU exactly (there is no Gem-Human hybrid as the main character, most of the Diamonds are actually better than they were canonically. kinda, anyway, and what exactly caused the "Gem War" is different), but there are a few similarities.

so! PLOT TIME (i'll be using the Gem names, 'cause why not)

(i apologize how long this took, there is just. So Much)

there are four Diamonds: Green, Black, Pink, and Amber Diamond, in order of age (these are c!Dream, Bad, Eret, and Wilbur, respectively). each of them get their own colonies, and eventually, Amber gets his own (Earth and the Moon).

Pink and Amber are besties :]

unlike in the actual show, when Amber asks the others to leave Earth alone, as to not destroy the planet, that request is respected.

the problem? Amber is unable to "grow" his own Gems, meaning that he requires help from the other Diamonds

the other Diamonds give him a few extra Gems here and there, including "undesirable" Gems: "defective" Gems (have multiple things wrong with them by Homeworld's standards; generally aren't viewed as functioning well/properly), "off-color" Gems (not necessarily defective, but have some things off with them physically (wrong color, for example) and/or have wonky powers), and "rogue/rebel" Gems (have no desire to follow the purpose the Diamonds have chosen for their Gem Type; ex. a Quartz of any type doesn't want to be a soldier or guard. "rebel" is generally used when a Gem is "at risk" of being a "problem," and "rogue" is basically shorthand for "is currently a problem"). Amber would end up showing these Gems more kindness than the other Diamonds did (except for Pink, but due to Reasons (*cough* Green) she can't be as open about it as Amber does)

through this, Amber receives four Gems that he will come to consider family: a "rebel" Jade and an Obsidian from Black Diamond (Phil and Kristin), a "rogue" Rose Quartz from Pink (Techno), and a "rebel" Lapis Lazuli (Clementine).

how did they each get labeled this way? well...

Jade didn't just want to sit around and deal with High-Ranking Gem BS, he wanted to go explore!! maybe even build stuff (which is i recall from the show was a job for Bismuths)!! and the Obsidian? she just followed him when he was sent off.

Rose Quartz was...more violent than RQ's typically are (they're generally healing/guard Gems. but this is obviously Techno we're talking about here. plus Anarchy™), and while Pink is generally accepting like Amber is, he feels pressured by the other Diamonds (Green specifically), so they just gently send any "troublemakers" over to Amber.

and the Lapis Lazuli? well...they're generally pretty quiet, keep to themselves, and listen to orders pretty well. not this one: she pretty much came out of the ground loud, a bit rowdy, and just generally telling everyone to F**k Off. Amber had to go and get her from Green himself before that guy decided to shatter her or something. when they finally went down to Earth, her first words to Amber were something along the lines of "Did I do something wrong?" Amber assured her that she didn't do anything wrong.

and now we have SBI + Kristin :]

so yeah. if it wasn't obvious, Amber pretty much believes that Gems should just be allowed to do what they want, as long as they aren't hurting anyone.

the SBI learns from humans that names exist, and give each other names. they're the same ones that. y'know. the characters have (Amber is Wilbur, Lapis is Clem, etc.)

Amber and Green...didn't get along. So A War Starts!

things are fine...until Green gets one of his Quartzes (Punz) to assassinate/shatter Amber, only stating to leave no witnesses. which he does. but, oh, what's this? Clem Witnesses It But Is Hiding! So Quartz Doesn't See Her!

Green somehow covers the whole thing up. the other remaining Diamonds are suspicious, however (Pink more so than Black)

SBI, over the next few centuries, research to figure out how to bring Wilbur back. and they find one! but it basically requires the essence of the other Diamonds and a Rose Quartz's tears. they already have Techno, so now they need the Diamond's help. Clem offers to go do it

things go well when asking Pink and Black. it's with Green that problems start (because of course it is, right?)

so. she gets to Green. he eventually decides "f**k it, i'll help bring Amber back, everyone's too suspicious of me already." Clem gets the Diamond essence, and gets ready to leave.

and then she sees Quartz. and gets rightfully pissed off

Green, now realizing that there Was a witness to Wilbur's assassination, kind of...panics. and does the one thing that comes to mind for him to do.

he cracks her gem. Badly

now. here's the reason why that's bad: That's The Equivalent Of Attempting To Murder Someone And Putting Them Into A Coma.

given, y'know, that people Already suspect him of having some role to play in Wilbur's death, and that people would probably get Pissed if they figured out what he did, he decides to bubble her gem (something that Gems can do; they quite literally create a bubble around the object they're bubbling) and teleport that bubble to his "Bubble Room" (something else gems can have, apparently), and forces all the Gems that were in the Throne Room/Palace he has to keep quiet about what happened and claim that Clem just never arrived there.

some Gems who are technically witnesses, who Will be important later, are an Amethyst guard (Purpled; didn't tell anyone because he was a direct witness (heard the yelling and subsequent cracking of Clem's gemstone) and was honestly scared for his life should no one believe him) and a Brown Agate (Schlatt; didn't say anything because he genuinely didn't give a s**t).

Pink and Green despise each other after this :]

for the next 2,000 years, various different things happened:

two new Gems joined Green's Court: an "overcooked ('defective')" Bumblebee Jasper (Tubbo; is basically just much shorter than Jaspers are, a consequence of the Gem staying underground too long. he's also one of the spotty bumblebee jaspers :]) and a "defective" Snowflake Obsidian (Ranboo; is technically a perma-fusion from birth. two gems combined before Ranboo was "born," thus making Ranboo a fusion. they literally cannot unfuse, because he will die). these two hate their jobs. due to Ranboo's circumstances (which, keep in mind, is something out of his control), they are practically treated like a Pearl (literally a servant Gem. like, they are the lowest on the Gem Hierarchy due to something Ranboo Can't Control. like, his options are either to Literally Die or be treated like a servant).

Clem is stuck in a Limbo between life and death

the rest of the SBI and a bunch of corrupted Gems are still on Earth. the other members of SBI view what happened to Clem as a threat.

Brown Agate is sent on missions with an Azurite (Quackity; relatively High-Ranking Gem in Black Diamond's Court) and a Pyrite (Foolish; not technically a High-Ranking Gem, but Pink is really close to him, so they made him High-Ranking because F**k Green, She Does What She Wants <3). these three basically hate each other, but Azurite and Pyrite hate each other less.

so...in the show, the Diamonds created a Human Zoo. in the show, this was to preserve humans so that they wouldn't go extinct from the Earth getting destroyed. in this au, it's because Gems genuinely don't understand that humans are sentient too. so like, this wasn't entirely done out of malice. again, not entirely

so...now that we've got caught up on the past two millennia, now let's enter the 21st century! :D

now we finally get introduced to some humans :]

Puffy: a sailor/fisherwoman who lives in a seaside town with her adopted daughter Michelle. she has always dreamed of adventure, maybe even a sea adventure :]

Niki and Jack: live in a small town. Niki is a baker and Jack works at a motel in town :]

Ponk: lives in the same town as Puffy. they're a doctor :]

Fundy: a teen interested in coding and stuff. doesn't have..the best home life, but it doesn't deter him from his coding dreams. he lives in the same town as Niki and Jack :]

i'll continue this in another reblog, give me a bit. hit a character limit

[worldiary]

I posted 5,246 times in 2022

58 posts created (1%)

5,188 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@bumblerhizal

@cinary

@mens-rights-activia

@bespectacledbookworm

@red-white-and-bolshevik

I tagged 1,801 of my posts in 2022

#lol - 930 posts

#art - 131 posts

#story ideas - 124 posts

#tumblr - 105 posts

#want - 54 posts

#worldiary speaks - 46 posts

#everything everywhere all at once - 37 posts

#dracula daily - 34 posts

#goncharov - 34 posts

#poetry - 31 posts

Longest Tag: 126 characters

#with google you can bring whatever you want into the sandbox but every time you touch a grain of sand google gets paid somehow

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I know, I know "it's such old media how can there be spoilers" but we all know that about 0.3% of us have actually read Dracula before and 99.9% of Dracula media we have seen bears 0 resemblance to the story we're reading now. With that in mind, please consider tagging your Dracula Daily posts and/or writing at the top of the post what day's entry you're talking about so folks can skip potential spoilers as needed.

41 notes - Posted May 16, 2022

#4

It's interesting to read people complaining about the community label feature when my understanding is (and correct me if I'm wrong here):

1. Your post will only get hidden if you mark it as sensitive. If you're worried about people not changing their settings, that's fair. You can make an FYI post and wait until you're confident before marking your work with a community flag. But it's not like the Nipple Ban™️ where an AI is rampantly tagging onions as sensitive. It's only if you mark your own post as sensitive.

2. This is what allows Tumblr to unblock porn. Which is something folks have been asking for ever since the aforementioned Nipple Ban™️. The idea is that if porn is hidden by default but folks can opt-in, Apple won't pull them off the App Store.

Maybe I'm missing something, but this feels like a win for folks making adult content? I know people on Tumblr engage less with creators these days. So it's fair to be worried that your reach will shrink. Make a few FYI posts to your followers. Don't mark your stuff as sensitive until you're ready. And then once you feel confident, try the feature out? See what you think. Give staff feedback.

51 notes - Posted September 26, 2022

#3

The thing about Everything Everywhere All At Once is that it could have been terrible. Like there were so many elements there that 99% of the time would not have worked together. But in this case it did???? Equal parts horror, comedy, family, philosophy, and fashion.

69 notes - Posted August 9, 2022

#2

Spent 2 hours watching this movie going "huh, this is a lot like Hamlet. Funny, even the guy's name sounds like Hamlet." Turns out. I'm watching the Norse myth of Amleth. Ya know. The Norse myth HAMLET WAS BASED OFF OF. No one's talking about this? We talk about Hamlet all the damn time and no one thought to say "btw, he ripped off a Norse myth. Just moved the H around and killed Ophelia." She doesn't die in the original myth, folks. It's just Shakespeare out here fridging and moving Hs around.

90 notes - Posted October 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I think the thing that hit me the hardest about Everything Everywhere All At Once was that.... Evelyn in part brings Jobu Tapaki into existence through her abuse and Jobu, in response to her pain... destroys worlds and lives searching for a version of her mother that can help her navigate the pain.

The nuance of the situation was so beautiful to me. It's the... "You hurt me but I still want you to comfort me and I don't care how much I hurt you as I dig for that comfort."

130 notes - Posted August 10, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[xxkittycass-meowmeow]

life stuff that is complicated but there's some good things 2 prob boring 2 read it's yapping tiem

dear diary,

boy I sure am happy now that I have drugs and alcohol in my system

(supposed 2 b funny not concerning, just at a birfday party (blows the little birthday thing that makes noise*

it's past situationship past best friend idevenk's (I've decided her name's cherry 4 now) lil bro's 21

I haven't seen that kid in forever I got really emotional seeing him, especially because he'd asked for me to b there TT^TT he was always like a little brother 2 me when we were younger, I really hadn't spent time with him in a long time, I brought up going 2 pride, he really wants to, he's never been and he said we should go together, it just tugged at my heartstrings bcuz I didn't realize how much her family still cares about me like I care about them

my youngest brother is turning 21 soon 2, idthink he's interested in alcohol at all tho, I got 2 think of smth 2 do for him 2 celebrate tho

u kno idk if it was a bad idea or not 2 start hanging out with cherry again, I thought she'd changed a lot and she has but not w certain things and I'm worried wat if she's hasn't with certain others

like I thought she'd gotten over the talking about ppl behind their back in such a mean way thing

the last time I hung out w her before this last time

she'd brought up an old friend of mine. a lot of my friends did nottt like ach other, but she at the time was v possessive and was constantly trying 2 get me 2 leave others or even try 2 get them 2 leave me, and now she kinda did the same things again, but I guess just 2 genuinely shit talk?

but she brought up my friend miss silly, she asked "do u still like miss silly?" and I said "well I haven't seen her in forever, but I love her and I'm sure I would, I think about her all the time"

"well she's so embarrassing and she used 2 wear these crazy costumes 2 school and she used 2 do this and she used 2 do that and insult insult insult, it gave me extreme secondhand embarrassment"

I responded "those were some of my favorite things about her."

"well she made me feel so embarrassed laugh hehehaha"

(summarized convo btw not word 4 word)

and I told her that her secondhand embarrassment isn't because of miss silly but because of her

I'm irritated that she kept on insulting her knowing I had just said I still really care for her and would love 2 hang out w her agian"

wait she also did this about another friend of mine

pretty tall elf

so pretty tall elf was like she would bark at ppl, she'd bark at bullys or mean/rude ppl a lot and idk I thought it was fun personally LOL

she was so good at art omg I miss her so much i hope she's good

cherry talked about how werid and fucked up she is 2

and I'm like..... u r also fucked up?? me 2?? that's part of the reason we became sucho close in the first place

when we were attached at the hip we had a v unhealthy complicated fkd up weird 2 the eye relationship

like ppl would walk up 2 us and would b like "wow I'm so surprised the 2 of u r friends, ure jist so different from 1 another"

opposites attract fool

but also we had so so many similarities

anywho, ppl would do this 2 us constantly, even when were we're apart from 1 another

but it was harsh, towards her more tha me

ppl would basically like allude 2 me being this angel and her being the opposite of that

it drove me crazy being put in a label I can't live up 2, but I know it really hurt her 2 a greater extent ppl comparing us

those people didn't kno me, they didn't kno her, it was all just assumptions

but she started to do this "well u're my sweet little angelic friend" recently and I h8 it and I'm just gonna call it out next time

I'm not an angel and I don't want 2 be. we were just 2 humans together leaning on each other 4 support and filling each other's void with affection and hurt and fun

me and her had a v fkd up dynamic, we were both untreated ptsd'd so yoiks(yikes) but we we're also v 1 for the other and I felt so connected bcuz she didn't want 2 let go of my hand as much as I didn't want 2 let go of hers

but things changed and r still messy i guess jsut different and I am actally so tired here's my lil yap sesh good night sleep tight don't let the bed bugs bite I love that 1

[joselinealt]

This is based off of the post I reblogged!💜🦋

Ok. So, I want to start this off saying that I don't label myself as anything but asexual; yeah sure I feel romantic attraction towards all genders and I am gender queer (if I had to label it, it would be like agender or gender fluid ish?) but I still choose not to label that part of myself, I'm just me.

Now, I first found the term "asexual" when I was in 6th grade, while we were having "the talk" in our school. I'm very lucky that I lived in a state where rhe lgbtqia+ community was talked about freely with no consequences and because of this, during that time our teacher took the opportunity to talk about what every letter stood for and so she also talked about asexuality.

It's a fond memory of mine because before that moment I thought something was "wrong" with me because every time I heard about romance it was immediately connected with sex but everytime I thought about it I felt discomfort (I wasn't discussed by it per say but I just felt really uncomfortable with the idea and my fight or flight just kicked in). When I told my family that I never wanted kids they always told me that it was just a phase and that everyone says that and end up having 3 kids (everyone exept my mum pushed that on me). I told them that if I had to have kids the would be adopted but even then I didn't know why.

That was until I found out the term "asexual", right after the teacher explained what it was, I said out loud: "that's what I am", no one but my friend sitting next to me heard but she didn't fully hear thewords I said.

After that I told oe of my friends and they told me that the abbreviated version was "Ace". I pushed it to the back of my brain subconsciously and didn't think about it until I saw the interview that Anthony Padilla did, there I saw @shelbygraces , whom I had been watching years before then and it helped me validate myself.

When I started questioning more about myself, like perhaps being Bi/pan, (which btw my first crush was a girl) I pushed that idea down alot because I was scared of the idea; mainly the thought of having to come out to my parents as that.

Eventually, at the age of 13 I fully accepted myself as that and then came my gender crisis. I thought my pronouns where she/they but then at 14 I thought my pronouns where they/them and I was gender queer, (It was also at this time where I knew I was demiromantic, which felt so relieving because I had a hard time understanding why it took me so much to like/develop a crush on someone and why I only liked one person up until that point and why they had to be my friend first before developing that crush), into late 14 I went by any and all pronouns exept she/her.

And at 15, I deamed that I was more comfortable just not putting a label on myself at all and just exist (in the closet). So, let me introduce myself, My name is Jai or Joseline, My pronouns are They/he/it, I like playing minecraft, art, music, writing, animals and I am an aspiring content creator. 💜

[freakadr0id]

I have a really strong urge to classify and analyze the roles of each turtle (and April) in a fight, but I have a feeling it's already been done and it would just be redundant. Idk I just noticed some interesting things about how each character fights, particularly in how their fighting styles complement one another in team battles. I thought it might be fun to go more in-depth into it, but I don't want to do it if it's already been done.

Update: I decided to go for it and Part 1 is up

[kawaiichibiart]

Prosekai Pride Month, let's get into Vivid BAD SQUAD + Ken (because I like Ken, he's a good dad :})

Ken doesn't have a specific label, but he has dated men in the past.

Weekend Garage is a safe space for people within the LGBT+ community. This is one of the reasons Toya visits frequently, as he is the only one (as far as he knows anyways) in his family who happens to be a part of said community.

Kohane's dad was very supportive of her when she not only came out (she's a lesbian btw), but told him she was dating An. He insisted they have a photoshoot to celebrate and the girls humored him.

An is acespec. She isn't sure where she falls in the spectrum, so she will just default to saying she's ace.

Akito is bisexual with a preference for men.

Akito was simultaneously impressed and pissed off when he watched a MMJ stream (technically, Ena was watching it with Mizuki on Nightcord, but she had the stream pulled up on their TV and Akito just couldn't bring himself to really...move from where he was sitting) and saw people leaving comments about how Minori was just using Haruka to increase her fame.

The stream left a bad feeling in his gut because he understood. How, wasn't exactly the same. But it was similar enough that he did. (He tries not to think of the brief time Toya left BAD DOGS which in itself felt like a breakup with his now, but not back then, boyfriend)

So when the girl with short, choppy, blue hair began to literally scream at the camera, only for it to eventually be cut off, he just sat there, taking it all in before he began to laugh. Because, in all honesty, if anyone were to question his relationship with Toya, he would likely do the same thing....no, he definitely would do the same thing.

Toya came out to the Tsukasa first. While Akito was his partner, both as BAD DOGS and in the romantic sense, but he didn't really know him back when he was first learning what made him him. So, prior to learning about Weekend Garage, Toya would sneak over to the Tenma household and wait for either Tsukasa or one of his parents to let him in when he didn't feel safe at home.

People think Toya is on the arospectrum. He's not. He's just not....that into romance in all honesty. He can be romantic, as he proved when he stood in for Tsukasa at a wedding, he just rather not.

Kohane, on the other hand, is a sucker for romance. She loves anything and everything romantic. Candle light dinners? Yes. Dozens upon dozen of roses? Yes! Being sweeped off her feet? Yes!! Yes!!! A thousand times YES!!!

An and Akito often try to outdo the other when it comes to date ideas. They both go all out. Meanwhile, Toya and Kohane just talk about their dates and what Akito and An managed to come up with this time.

Akito is also part of the "siblings who tease their sibling about who they're dating" seeing as to how he's always teasing Ena whenever she's about to go an a date with Mizuki.

Akito absolutely does NOT pout when Toya admits the first person he came out to was Tsukasa. He doesn't. "SHUT UP AN!! I'M NOT POUTING!!!"

Akito often spends the night at An's house whenever his relationship with Toya is brought up at home. It's not that his father is against it, but he doesn't really show support??? In all honesty, he doesn't know if his dad said he wasn't against the relationship just to sound like a good person.

If Akito stays over at An's, Toya will sometimes stay over as well. Which leads to Kohane staying over and it becomes a VBS sleepover.

Kohane often talks to with Ichika and Minori about her relationship with An. She's happy her friends know how she feels and can relate to being in a relationship.

Ken definitely has one of the photos Kohane's dad took framed somewhere in the Shiraishi household. Eventually a photo of Akito and Toya makes it's way next to it.

Kohane cried during her first official Pride month. She was just so happy. She had a wonderful girlfriend. Friends who all understood and fell in the lgbt+ community, her father supported her through and through. She was very emotional.

[insomniactalks]

I feel like people that hate Portwell often times misinterpret Portwell’s love story. Look I get it that some people don’t ship Portwell and that is fine. I have seen haters call EJ a “loser” for liking someone younger than him instead of someone his own age and say that he should focus on his future instead of being in a relationship. Personally I don’t think EJ is giving up his future for Gina. I think EJ just doesn’t know what he wants to with his life right now and that is fine. 1/2

It’s perfectly normal for high school seniors to not know what they want to do with their life it doesn’t mean they are loser for wanting to take a gap year to figure some things out. EJ all his life wanted to make his father proud by following in his footsteps by going to Duke. EJ realized from talking to Gina that he wants to do his own thing and follow his own dreams. EJ can still follow his own dreams and still be with Gina who inspires him it’s not impossible like what some haters say. 2/2

I mean, anon you said it perfectly! ❤ Ppl forget how young EJ really is. He's only 18, still a teenager who still has a lot to figure out post-high school. Like you said, he has a lot to figure out soon about his future (like Troy) but that doesn't mean his relationship with Gina is holding either of them back. Just like Troy decided Gabriella was still going to be a part of his future, perhaps EJ decides the same with Gina? 😚

It's a bit hard to see, but the wall says "Where do you see a future?" before panning to EJ. Personally, I think the show already visually foreshadowed where EJ sees his future:

He gives Gina not just any Duke hoodie. He gifted her a third-generation Caswell family heirloom. He clearly trusts her with something that's important to his family (which Gina knows about since she was right in front of him when his dad presented it to him on Career Day). In this same episode (2.08), PW have their wonderful conversation on the couch.🥰 They learn more about each other and connect on a deeper level. After talking to Gina, and taking the "lesson" she taught him about being a "good guy" who "tries really hard to do the right thing" (plus being inspired by the "bravery" EJ sees in Gina), he confronts his dad later that night:

EJ's body language suggests not only is he nervous, it looks like this is the first time he's ever actually confronted his father. I suspect we'll see more of this in S3, where EJ will probably be pressured by his dad to make a final decision about college (whether it's a gap year, out-of-state college, local in-state college, what he majors in, etc) 🤔. Gina is probably (definitely) the first girlfriend EJ's ever had that he can be truly, 100%, authentically himself around. Because of that, I think conversations with Gina will continue to inspire EJ to do what feels right to him. Make his own choices and follow his own dreams (not what his dad wants for him). 😅

Ppl who call EJ a "loser" for liking Gina back are simply bitter PW is moving forward and are the focus of S3 (from what it looks like, at least). Younger fans in particular are quick to label him as such b/c they see 18 as a fully-realized adult. It's not, btw. EJ can vote and drive. That's it. Like literally that's it. 🤦🏽‍♀️ How many ppl do you know knew exactly what they were gonna do after graduating high school? Not many.🤷🏽‍♀️ And that's okay! Like Gina says:

I know the above lines aren't specifically referring to PW, but I can't help but point out EJ and Gina are literally the faces of East High with their (co-anchored!) morning show. I'm inclined to believe EJ and Gina are "East High" and they "can make anything work" (which EJ enthusiastically agrees with🤗). I guess we'll just have to wait and see in S3. 😁

[cactiired]

Sorry if it's too personal, but how did you come to the conclusion u were a lesbian, I've been trying too see if I was one as well, but I'm kinda stumbling

Don't worry about it, it's not too personal and I'm happy to answer!

I never had actual crushes on guys. When I was younger I sort of "picked" boys to have crushes on. Usually it would be a boy I hardly knew and didn't talk to. Once even someone I didn't know at all. That's because I liked the idea of liking someone and someone liking me back but I never wanted to actually pursue anything with any of them.

For a while I identified as bisexual. I think I was like 14? This was partly because I just wasn't sure but a lot of it was that the label lesbian, in my language: lesbo, was basically used in the same way that slurs were thrown around. The word just made me feel gross and calling myself bi instead was safer. It didn't have the same connotations that "lesbo" had.

Like many teens, I was also very desperate for attention and affection. Because of my mental health issues I've struggled a lot with my self-esteem and body image. I wanted someone to fix that. Not realistic at all but at 14 I really thought that if someone liked me romantically it would make me feel better. I started to seek out relationships. I wanted a boyfriend.

This kind of got me in a few uncomfortable situations with guys that could have easily become dangerous. But because I thought that feeling nervous was totally a part of developing a crush I totally overlooked my anxiety and wrote it off as feeling butterflies. Luckily nothing too bad happened I was just left uncomfortable. Meanwhile, my actual crushes were always girls. One particular crush was honestly really painful for me because the girl was a close friend of mine and I had feelings for her for years. She was straight ofc so nothing ever came of it and my confession sort of broke our friendship.

Time went on and at one point I just realized I really wasn't attracted to men. I was more so attracted to the idea of being desired and the image of love that had been planted in my head from a young age was heterosexual love. I was very homophobic as a child btw. So as you can imagine it took time and self-reflecting to unravel a lot of the stuff I had grown up to believe about myself.

I think I became sure about my identity when I started dating. Things just clicked in place, yknow? I actually experienced the stuff my straight friends would talk about but in my own way. Things felt right. Dealing with internalized homophobia got easier when I entered upper secondary school because I met other LGBTQ people. I made friends that had a deeper understanding of my experiences than anyone I had met before at that point. They knew what it was like and I didn't feel so bad calling myself a lesbian. (I and my girlfriend are actually from that same friend group)

And lastly, I'd like to say that as I've grown older I've gotten more comfortable with my sexuality. Believe it or not, when I came out as a lesbian I used to not be able to compliment guys on their looks because I feared being told "See? You're not a lesbian! you do like guys!" Which is ridiculous but being invalidated and disrespected by people that refused to believe me made me very hesitant to show any affection towards guys outside of my family. I didn't even have close guy friends like i do now but what helped me a lot was to realize that just like straight women can call their friends cute I can do the same to my guy friends without it changing anything about my sexual orientation.

[potteresque-ire]

Can you talk more about the usage of the word "wife" to talk about men in the BL context? I've noticed it in BJYX (particularly with GG), in the (English translations) of MDZS, and then it came up in your recent posts about Danmei-101 (which were super helpful btw) with articles connecting the "little fresh meat" type to fans calling an actor "wife." My initial reaction as a westerner is like "this is very problematic," but I think I'm missing a lot of language/cultural context. Any thoughts?

Hello! First of all, for those who’re interested, here’s a link to the referred posts. Under the cut is arguably the 4th post of the series. As usual, I apologise for the length!

(Topics: seme and uke; more about “leftover women”; roster of feminisation terms; Daji, Bao Si & the origin of BJYX; roster of beautiful, ancient Chinese men; Chairman Mao (not part of the roster) ...)

[TW: feminisation of men]

In the traditional BL characterisation, the M/M (double male) lead pairing is essentially a cis-het relationship in disguise, in which one of the M leads is viewed as the “wife” by the creator and audience. This lead often possesses some of the features of the traditional, stereotypical female, but retaining his male appearance. 

In BL terms, the “wife” is the “uke”. “Seme” and “uke” are the respective roles taken by the two male leads, and designated by the creator of the material. Literally, “seme” (攻め) means the dominant, the attacking / aggressive partner in the relationship and “uke” (受け), the passive / recipient (of actions) partner who tends to follow the seme’s lead. The terms themselves do not have any sexual / gender context.  However, as male and female are viewed as aggressive and passive by their traditional social roles, and the attacker and recipient by their traditional sexual roles respectively, BL fandoms have long assigned uke, the passive, sexual “bottom”, as the “woman”, the “wife”. 

Danmei has kept this “semi” and uke” tradition from BL, taking the kanji of the Japanese terms for designation ~ 攻 (”attack” is therefore the “husband”, and 受 (”receive”), the “wife”. The designations are often specified in the introduction / summary of Danmei works as warning / enticement. For MDZS, for example, MXTX wrote:

高貴冷豔悶騷 攻 × 邪魅狂狷風騷 受

高貴冷豔悶騷 攻 = noble, coolly beautiful and boring seme (referring to LWJ)  邪魅狂狷風騷 受 = devilishly charming, wild, and flirty uke (referring to WWX) 

The traditional, stereotypical female traits given to the “uke”, the “wife” in Danmei and their associated fanworks range from their personality to behaviour to even biological functions. Those who have read the sex scenes in MDZS may be aware of their lack of mention of lube, while WWX was written as getting (very) wet from fluids from his colon (腸道) ~ implying that his colon, much like a vagina, was supplying the necessarily lubrication for sex. This is obviously biologically inaccurate; however, Danmei is exempt from having to be realistic by its original Tanbi definition. The genre’s primary audience is cishet females, and sex scenes such as this one aren’t aiming for realism. Rather, the primary goal of these sex scenes is to generate fantasy, and the purpose of the biologically female functions in one of the leads (WWX) is to ease the readers into imagining themselves as the one engaging in the sex.

Indeed, these practices of assigning as males and female the M/M sexual top and bottom, of emphasising of who is the top and who is the bottom, have been falling out of favour in Western slash fandoms ~ I joined fandom about 15 years ago, and top and bottom designations in slash pairings (and fights about them) were much more common than it is now.  The generally more open, more progressive environments in which Western fandomers are immersed in probably have something to do with it: they transfer their RL knowledge, their views on biology, on different social into their fandom works and discourses. 

I’d venture to say this: in the English-speaking fandoms, fandom values and mainstream values are converging. ��Cancel culture” reflects an attempt to enforce RL values in the fictional worlds in fandom. Fandom culture is slowly, but surely, leaving its subculture status and becoming part of mainstream culture. 

I’d hesitate to call c-Danmei fandoms backward compared to Western slash for this reason. There’s little hope for Danmei to converge with China’s mainstream culture in the short term ~ the necessity of replacing Danmei with Dangai in visual media already reflects that. Danmei is and will likely remain subculture in the foreseeable future, and subcultures, at heart, are protests against the mainstream. Unless China and the West define “mainstream” very similarly (and they don’t), it is difficult to compare the “progressiveness”—and its dark side, the “problematic-ness”—of the protests, which are shaped by what they’re protesting against. The “shaper” in this scenario, the mainstream values and culture, are also far more forceful under China’s authoritarian government than they are in the free(-er) world. 

Danmei, therefore, necessarily takes on a different form in China than BL or slash outside China. As a creative pursuit, it serves to fulfil psychological needs that are reflective of its surrounding culture and sociopolitical environment. The genre’s “problematic” / out of place aspects in the eyes of Western fandoms are therefore, like all other aspects of the genre, tailor-made by its millions of fans to be comforting / cathartic for the unique culture and sociopolitical background it and they find themselves in. 

I briefly detoured to talk about the Chinese government’s campaign to pressure young, educated Chinese women into matrimony and motherhood in the post for this reason, as it is an example of how, despite Western fandoms’ progressiveness, they may be inadequate, distant for c-Danmei fans. Again, this article is a short and a ... morbidly-entertaining read on what has been said about China’s “leftover women” (剩女) — women who are unmarried and over 27-years-old). I talked about it, because “Women should enter marriage and parenthood in their late 20s” may no longer a mainstream value in many Western societies, but where it still is, it exerts a strong influence on how women view romance, and by extension, how they interact with romantic fiction, including Danmei.

In China, this influence is made even stronger by the fact that Chinese tradition  places a strong emphasis on education and holds a conservative attitude towards romance and sex. Dating while studying therefore remains discouraged in many Chinese families. University-educated Chinese women therefore have an extremely short time frame — between graduation (~23 years old) and their 27th birthday — to find “the right one” and get married, before they are labelled as “leftovers” and deemed undesirable. (Saving) face being an important aspect in Chinese culture introduces yet another layer of pressure: traditionally, women who don’t get married by the age agreed by social norms have been viewed as failures of upbringing, in that the unmarried women’s parents not having taught/trained their daughters well. Filial, unmarried women therefore try to get married “on time” just to avoid bringing shame to their family.

The outcome is this: despite the strong women characters we may see in Chinese visual media, many young Chinese women nowadays do not expect themselves to be able to marry for love. Below, I offer a “book jacket summary” of a popular internet novel in China, which shows how the associated despair also affects cis-het fictional romance. Book reviews praise this novel for being “boring”: the man and woman leads are both common working class people, the “you-and-I”’s; the mundaneness of them trying build their careers and their love life is lit by one shining light: he loves her and she loves him. 

Written in her POV, this summary reflects, perhaps, the disquiet felt by many contemporary Chinese women university graduates:

曾經以為，自己這輩子都等不到了—— 世界這麼大，我又走得這麼慢，要是遇不到良人要怎麼辦？早過了「全球三十幾億男人，中國七億男人，天涯何處無芳草」的猖狂歲月，越來越清楚，循規蹈矩的生活中，我們能熟悉進而深交的異性實在太有限了，有限到我都做好了「接受他人的牽線，找個適合的男人慢慢煨熟，再平淡無奇地進入婚姻」的準備，卻在生命意外的拐彎處迎來自己的另一半。

I once thought, my wait will never come to fruition for the rest of my life — the world is so big, I’m so slow in treading it, what if I’ll never meet the one? I’ve long passed the wild days of thinking “3 billion men exist on Earth, 0.7 of which are Chinese. There is plenty more fish in the sea.” I’m seeing, with increasing clarity, that in our disciplined lives, the number of opposite-sex we can get to know, and get to know well, is so limited. It’s so limited that I’m prepared to accept someone’s matchmaking, find a suitable man and slowly, slowly, warm up to him, and then, to enter marriage with without excitement, without wonder. But then, an accidental turn in my life welcomes in my other half.

— Oath of Love (餘生，請多指教) (Yes, this is the novel Gg’d upcoming drama is based on.) 

Heteronormativity is, of course, very real in China. However, that hasn’t exempted Chinese women, even its large cis-het population, from having their freedom to pursue their true love taken away from them. Even for cis-het relationships, being able to marry for love has become a fantasy —a fantasy scorned by the state. Remember this quote from Article O3 in the original post? 

耽改故事大多远离现实，有些年轻受众却将其与生活混为一谈，产生不以结婚和繁衍为目的才是真爱之类的偏颇认知。

Most Dangai stories are far removed from reality; some young audience nonetheless mix them up with real life, develop biased understanding such as “only love that doesn’t treat matrimony and reproduction as destinations is true love”. 

I didn’t focus on it in the previous posts, in an effort to keep the discussion on topic. But why did the op-ed piece pick this as an example of fantasy-that-shouldn’t-be-mixed-up-with-real-life, in the middle of a discussion about perceived femininity of men that actually has little to do with matrimony and reproduction? 

Because the whole point behind the state’s “leftover women” campaign is precisely to get women to treat matrimony and reproduction as destinations, not beautiful sceneries that happen along the way. And they’re the state’s destination as more children = higher birth rate that leads to higher future productivity. The article is therefore calling out Danmei for challenging this “mainstream value”.

Therefore, while the statement True love doesn’t treat matrimony and reproduction as destinations may be trite for many of us while it may be a point few, if any, English-speaking fandoms may pay attention to, to the mainstream culture Danmei lives in, to the mainstream values dictated by the state, it is borderline subversive.

As much as Danmei may appear “tame” for its emphasis on beauty and romance, for it to have stood for so long, so firmly against China’s (very) forceful mainstream culture, the genre is also fundamentally rebellious.  Remember: Danmei has little hope of converging with China’s mainstream unless it “sells its soul” and removes its homoerotic elements. 

With rebelliousness, too, comes a bit of tongue-in-cheek.

And so, when c-Danmei fans, most of whom being cishet women who interact with the genre by its traditional BL definition, call one of the leads 老婆 (wife), it can and often take on a different flavour. As said before, it can be less about feminizing the lead than about identifying with the lead. The nickname 老婆 (wife) can be less about being disrespectful and more about humorously expressing an aspiration—the aspiration to have a husband who truly loves them, who they do want to get married and have babies with but out of freedom and not obligation.

Admittedly, I had been confused, and bothered by these “can-be”s myself. Just because there are alternate reasons for the feminisation to happen doesn’t mean the feminisation itself is excusable. But why the feminisation of M/M leads doesn’t sound as awful to me in Chinese as in English? How can calling a self-identified man 老婆 (wife) get away with not sounding being predominantly disrespectful to my ears, when I would’ve frowned at the same thing said in my vicinity in English?

I had an old hypothesis: when I was little, it was common to hear people calling acquaintances in Chinese by their unflattering traits:  “Deaf-Eared Chan” (Mr Chan, who’s deaf), “Fat Old Woman Lan” (Ah-Lan, who’s an overweight woman) etc—and the acquaintances were perfectly at ease with such identifications, even introducing themselves to strangers that way. Comparatively speaking then, 老婆 (wife) is harmless, even endearing. 

老婆, which literally means “old old-lady” (implying wife = the woman one gets old with), first became popularised as a colloquial, casual way of calling “wife” in Hong Kong and its Cantonese dialect, despite the term itself being about 1,500 years old. As older generations of Chinese were usually very shy about talking about their love lives, those who couldn’t help themselves and regularly spoke of their 老婆 tended to be those who loved their wives in my memory. 老婆, as a term, probably became endearing to me that way. 

Maybe this is why the feminisation of M/M leads didn’t sound so bad to me?

This hypothesis was inadequate, however. This custom of identifying people by their (unflattering) traits has been diminishing in Hong Kong and China, for similar reasons it has been considered inappropriate in the West.

Also, 老婆 (wife) is not the only term used for / associated with feminisation. I’ve tried to limit the discussion to Danmei, the fictional genre; now, I’ll jump to its associated RPS genre, and specifically, the YiZhan fandoms. The purpose of this jump: with real people involved, feminisation’s effect is potentially more harmful, more acute. Easier to feel. 

YiZhan fans predominantly entered the fandoms through The Untamed, and they’ve also transferred Danmei’s  “seme”/“uke” customs into YiZhan. There are, therefore, three c-YiZhan fandoms:

博君一肖 (BJYX): seme Dd, uke Gg 戰山為王 (ZSWW): seme Gg, uke Dd 連瑣反應 (LSFY): riba Gg and Dd. Riba = “reversible”, and unlike “seme” and “uke”, is a frequently-used term in the Japanese gay community. 

BJYX is by far the largest of the three, likely due to Gg having played WWX, the “uke” in MDZS / TU. I’ll therefore focus on this fandom, ie. Gg is the “uke”, the “wife”.

For Gg alone, I’ve seen him being also referred to by YiZhan fans as (and this is far from a complete list):

* 姐姐 (sister) * 嫂子 (wife of elder brother; Dd being the elder brother implied) * 妃妃 (based on the very first YiZhan CP name, 太妃糖 Toffee Candy, a portmanteau of sorts from Dd being the 太子 “prince” of his management company and Gg being the prince’s wife, 太子妃. 糖 = “candy”. 太妃 sounds like toffee in English and has been used as the latter’s Chinese translation.) * 美人 (beauty, as in 肖美人 “Beauty Xiao”) * Daji 妲己 (as in 肖妲己, “Daji Xiao”). 

The last one needs historical context, which will also become important for explaining the new hypothesis I have.

Daji was a consort who lived three thousand years ago, whose beauty was blamed for the fall of the Shang dynasty. Gg (and men sharing similar traits, who are exceptionally rare) has been compared to Daji 妲己 for his alternatively innocent, alternatively seductive beauty ~ the kind of beauty that, in Chinese historical texts and folk lores, lead to the fall of kingdoms when possessed by the king’s beloved woman. This kind of “I-get-to-ruin-her-virginity”, “she’s a slut in MY bedroom” beauty is, of course, a stereotypical fantasy for many (cis-het) men, which included the authors of these historical texts and folklores. However, it also contained some truth: the purity / innocence, the image of a virgin, was required for an ancient woman to be chosen as a consort; the seduction, meanwhile, helped her to become the top consort, and monopolise the attention of kings and emperors who often had hundreds of wives ~ wives who often put each other in danger to eliminate competition. 

Nowadays, women of tremendous beauty are still referred to by the Chinese idiom 傾國傾城, literally, ”falling countries, falling cities”. The beauty is also implied to be natural, expressed in a can’t-help-itself way, perhaps reflecting the fact that the ancient beauties on which this idiom has been used couldn’t possibly have plastic surgeries, and most of them didn’t meet a good end ~ that they had to pay a price for their beauty, and often, with their lowly status as women, as consorts, they didn’t get to choose whether they wanted to pay this price or not. This adjective is considered to be very flattering. Gg’s famous smile from the Thailand Fanmeet has been described, praised as 傾城一笑: “a smile that topples a city”.

I’m explaining Daji and 傾國傾城 because the Chinese idiom 博君一笑 “doing anything to get a smile from you”, from which the ship’s name BJYX 博君一肖  was derived (笑 and 肖 are both pronounced “xiao”), is connected to yet another of such dynasty-falling beauty, Bao Si 褒姒. Like Daji before her, Bao Si was blamed for the end of the Zhou Dynasty in 771 BC. 

The legend went like this: Bao Si was melancholic, and to get her to smile, her king lit warning beacons and got his nobles to rush in from the nearby vassal states with their armies to come and rescue him, despite not being in actual danger. The nobles, in their haste, looked so frantic and dishevelled that Bao Si found it funny and smiled. Longing to see more of the smile of his favourite woman, the king would fool his nobles again and again, until his nobles no longer heeded the warning beacons when an actual rebellion came. 

What the king did has been described as 博紅顏一笑, with 紅顏 (”red/flushed face”) meaning a beautiful woman, referring to Bao Si. Replace 紅顏 with the respectful “you”, 君, we get 博君一笑. If one searches the origin of the phrase 博 [fill_in_the_blank]一笑 online, Bao Si’s story shows up.

The “anything” in ”doing anything to get a smile from you” in 博君一笑, therefore, is not any favour, but something as momentous as giving away one’s own kingdom. c-turtles have remarked, to their amusement and admittedly mine, that “king”, in Chinese, is written as 王, which is Dd’s surname, and very occasionally, they jokingly compare him to the hopeless kings who’d give away everything for their love. Much like 傾國傾城 has become a flattering idiom despite the negative reputations of Daji and Bao Si for their “men-ruining ways”, 博君一笑 has become a flattering phrase, emphasising on the devotion and love rather than the ... stupidity behind the smile-inducing acts. 

(Bao Si’s story, BTW, was a lie made up by historians who also lived later but also thousands of years ago, to absolve the uselessness of the king. Warning beacons didn’t exist at her time.)  

Gg is arguably feminized even in his CP’s name. Gg’s feminisation is everywhere. 

And here comes my confession time ~ I’ve been amused by most of the feminisation terms above. 肖妲己 (”Daji Xiao”) captures my imagination, and I remain quite partial to the CP name BJYX. Somehow, there’s something ... somewhat forgivable when the feminisation is based on Gg’s beauty, especially in the context of the historical Danmei / Dangai setting of MDZS/TU ~ something that, while doesn’t cancel, dampens the “problematic-ness” of the gender mis-identification.

What, exactly, is this something?

Here’s my new hypothesis, and hopefully I’ll manage to explain it well ~

The hypothesis is this: the unisex beauty standard for historical Chinese men and women, which is also breathtakingly similar to the modern beauty standard for Chinese women, makes feminisation in the context of Danmei (especially historical Danmei) flattering, and easier to accept.

What defined beauty in historical Chinese men? If I am to create a classically beautiful Chinese man for my new historical Danmei, how would I describe him based on what I’ve read, my cultural knowledge?

Here’s a list:

* Skin fair and smooth as white jade * Thin, even frail; narrow/slanted shoulders; tall * Dark irises and bright, starry eyes * Not too dense, neat eyebrows that are shaped like swords ~ pointed slightly upwards from the center towards the sides of the face * Depending on the dynasty, nice makeup.

Imagine these traits. How “macho” are they? How much do they fit the ideal Chinese masculine beauty advertised by Chinese government, which looks like below?

Propaganda poster, 1969. The caption says “Defeat Imperialist US! Defeat Social Imperialism!” The book’s name is “Quotations from Mao Zedong”. (Source)

Where did that list of traits I’ve written com from? Fair like jade, frail ... why are they so far from the ... “macho”ness of the men in the poster? 

What has Chinese history said about its beautiful men? 

Wei Jie (衛玠 286-312 BCE), one of the four most beautiful ancient Chinese men (古代四大美男) recorded in Chinese history famously passed away when fans of his beauty gathered and formed a wall around him, blocking his way. History recorded Wei as being frail with chronic illness, and was only 27 years old when he died. Arguably the first historical account of “crazy fans killing their idol”, this incident left the idiom 看殺衛玠 ~ “Wei Jie being watched to death.” ~ a not very “macho” way to die at all.

潘安 (Pan An; 247-300 BCE), another one of the four most beautiful ancient Chinese men, also had hoards of fangirls, who threw fruits and flowers at him whenever he ventured outside. The Chinese idiom 擲果盈車 “thrown fruit filling a cart” was based on Pan and ... his fandom, and denotes such scenarios of men being so beautiful that women openly displayed their affections for them. 

Meanwhile, when Pan went out with his equally beautiful male friend, 夏侯湛 Xiahou Zhan, folks around them called them 連璧 ~ two connected pieces of perfect jade. Chinese Jade is white, smooth, faintly glowing in light, so delicate that it gives the impression of being somewhat transparent.

Aren’t Wei Jie and Pan An reminiscent of modern day Chinese idols, the “effeminate” “Little Fresh Meat”s (小鲜肉) so panned by Article O3? Their stories, BTW, also elucidated the historical reference in LWJ’s description of being jade-like in MDZS, and in WWX and LWJ being thrown pippas along the Gusu river bank. 

Danmei, therefore, didn’t create a trend of androgynous beauty in men as much as it has borrowed the ancient, traditional definition of masculine Chinese beauty ~ the beauty that was more feminine than masculine by modern standards.  

[Perhaps, CPs should be renamed 連璧 (”two connected pieces of perfect jade”) as a reminder of the aesthetics’ historical roots.]

Someone may exclaim now: But. But!! Yet another one of the four most beautiful ancient Chinese men, 高長恭 (Gao Changgong, 541-573 BCE), far better known by his title, 蘭陵王 (”the Prince of Lanling”), was a famous general. He had to be “macho”, right?

... As it turns out, not at all. Historical texts have described Gao as “貌柔心壮，音容兼美” (”soft in looks and strong at heart, beautiful face and voice”), “白美類婦人” (”fair and beautiful as a woman”), “貌若婦人” (”face like a woman”). Legends have it that The Prince of Lanling’s beauty was so soft, so lacking in authority that he had to wear a savage mask to get his soldiers to listen to his command (and win) on the battlefield (《樂府雜錄》: 以其顏貌無威，每入陣即著面具，後乃百戰百勝).

This should be emphasised: Gao’s explicitly feminine descriptions were recorded in historical texts as arguments *for* his beauty. Authors of these texts, therefore, didn’t view the feminisation as insult. In fact, they used the feminisation to drive the point home, to convince their readers that men like the Prince of Lanling were truly, absolutely good looking.

Being beautiful like a women was therefore high praise for men in, at least, significant periods in Chinese history ~ periods long and important enough for these records to survive until today. Beauty, and so it goes, had once been largely free of distinctions between the masculine and feminine.

One more example of an image of an ancient Chinese male beauty being similar to its female counterpart, because the history nerd in me finds this fun. 

何晏 (He Yan, ?-249 BCE) lived in the Wei Jin era (between 2nd to 4th century), during which makeup was really en vogue. Known for his beauty, he was also famous for his love of grooming himself. The emperor, convinced that He Yan’s very fair skin was from the powder he was wearing, gave He Yan some very hot foods to eat in the middle of the summer. He Yan began to sweat, had to wipe himself with his sleeves and in the process, revealed to the emperor that his fair beauty was 100% natural ~ his skin glowed even more with the cosmetics removed (《世說新語·容止第十四》: 何平叔美姿儀，面至白。魏明帝疑其傅粉，正夏月，與熱湯餅。既啖，大汗出，以朱衣自拭，色轉皎然). His kick-cosmetics’-ass fairness won him the nickname 傅粉何郎 (”powder-wearing Mr He”).

Not only would He Yan very likely be mistaken as a woman if this scene is transferred to a modern setting, but this scene can very well fit inside a Danmei story of the 21st century and is very, very likely to get axed by the Chinese censorship board for its visualisation. 

[Important observation from this anecdote: the emperor was totally into this trend too.]

The adjectives and phrases used above to describe these beautiful ancient Chinese men ~ 貌柔, 音容兼美, 白美, 美姿儀, 皎然 ~ have all become pretty much reserved for describing beauty in women nowadays. Beauty standards in ancient China were, as mentioned before, had gone through significantly long periods in which they were largely genderless. The character for beauty 美 (also in Danmei, 耽美) used to have little to no gender association. Free of gender associations as well were the names of many flowers. The characters for orchid (蘭) and lotus (蓮), for example, were commonly found in men’s names as late as the Republican era (early 20th century), but are now almost exclusively found in women’s names. Both orchid and lotus have historically been used to indicate 君子 (junzi, roughly, “gentlemen”), which have always been men. MDZS also has an example of a man named after a flower: Jin Ling’s courtesy name, given to him by WWX,  was 如蘭 (”like an orchid”). 

A related question may be this: why does ancient China associate beauty with fairness, with softness, with frailty? Likely, because Confucianist philosophy and customs put a heavy emphasis on scholarship ~ and scholars have mostly consisted of soft-spoken, not muscular, not working-under-the-sun type of men. More importantly, Confucianist scholars also occupied powerful government positions. Being, and looking like a Confucianist scholar was therefore associated with status. Indeed, it’s very difficult to look like jade when one was a farmer or a soldier, for example, who constantly had to toil under the sun, whose skin was constantly being dried and roughened by the elements. Having what are viewed as “macho” beauty traits as in the poster above ~ tanned skin, bulging muscles, bony structures (which also take away the jade’s smoothness) ~ were associated with hard labour, poverty and famine.

Along that line, 手無縛雞之力 (“hands without the strength to restrain a chicken”) has long been a phrase used to describe ancient scholars and students, and without scorn or derision. Love stories of old, which often centred around scholars were, accordingly, largely devoid of the plot lines of husbands physically protecting the wives, performing the equivalent of climbing up castle walls and fighting dragons etc. Instead, the faithful husbands wrote poems, combed their wife’s hair, traced their wife’s eyebrows with cosmetics (畫眉)...all activities that didn’t require much physical strength, and many of which are considered “feminine” nowadays.

Were there periods in Chinese history in which more ... sporty men and women were appreciated? Yes. the Tang dynasty, for example, and the Yuan and Qing dynasties. The Tang dynasty, as a very powerful, very open era in Chinese history, was known for its relations to the West (via the Silk Road). The Yuan and Qing dynasties, meanwhile, were established by Mongolians and Manchus respectively, who, as non-Han people, had not been under the influence of Confucian culture and grew up on horsebacks, rather than in schools.

The idea that beautiful Chinese men should have “macho” attributes was, therefore, largely a consequence of non-Han-Chinese influence, especially after early 20th century. That was when the characters for beauty (美), orchid (蘭), lotus (蓮) etc began their ... feminisation. The Chinese Communist Party (CCP), which started its reign of the country starting 1949, also has foreign roots, being a derivative of the Soviets, and its portrayal of ideal men has been based on the party’s ideology, painting them as members of the People’s Liberation Army (Chinese army) and its two major proletariat classes, farmers and industrial workers ~ all occupations that are “macho” in their aesthetics, but held at very poor esteem in ancient Chinese societies. All occupations that, to this day, may be hailed as noble by Chinese women, but not really deemed attractive by them.

Beauty, being an instinct, is perhaps much more resistant to propaganda.

If anything, the three terms Article O3 used to describe “effeminate” men ~ 奶油小生 “cream young men” (popularised in 1980s) , 花美男 “flowery beautiful men” (early 2000s), 小鲜肉 “little fresh meat” (coined in 2014 and still popular now) ~ only informs me how incredibly consistent the modern Chinese women’s view of ideal male beauty has been. It’s the same beauty the Chinese Communist Party has called feminine. It’s the same beauty found in Danmei. It’s the same beauty that, when witnessed in men in ancient China, was so revered that historians recorded it for their descendants to remember. It doesn’t mean there aren’t any women who appreciate the "macho” type ~ it’s just that, the appreciation for the non-macho type has never really gone out of fashion, never really changed. The only thing that is really changing is the name of the type, the name’s positive or negative connotations.

(Personally, I’m far more uncomfortable with the name “Little fresh meat” (小鲜肉) than 老婆 (wife). I find it much more insulting.)

Anyway, what I’d like to say is this: feminisation in Danmei ~ a genre that, by definition, is hyper-focused on aesthetics ~ may not be as "problematic” in Chinese as it is in English, because the Chinese tradition didn’t make that much of a differentiation between masculine and feminine beauty. Once again, this isn’t to say such mis-gendering isn’t disrespectful; it’s just that, perhaps, it is less disrespectful because Chinese still retains a cultural memory in which equating a beautiful man to a beautiful woman was the utmost flattery. 

I must put a disclaimer here: I cannot vouch for this being true for the general Chinese population. This is something that is buried deep enough inside me that it took a lot of thought for me to tease out, to articulate. More importantly, while I grow up in a Chinese-speaking environment, I’ve never lived inside China. My history knowledge, while isn’t shabby, hasn’t been filtered through the state education system.

I’d also like to point out as well, along this line of thought, that in *certain* (definitely not all) aspects, Chinese society isn’t as sexist as the West. While historically, China has periods of extreme sexism against women, with the final dynasties of Ming and Qing being examples, I must (reluctantly) acknowledge Chairman Mao for significantly lifting the status of women during his rule. Here’s a famous quote of his from 1955:

婦女能頂半邊天 Women can lift half the skies

The first marriage code, passed in 1950, outlawed forced marriages, polygamy, and ensured equal rights between husband and wife.  For the first time in centuries, women were encouraged to go outside of their homes and work. Men resisted at first, wanting to keep their wives at home; women who did work were judged poorly for their performance and given less than 50% of men’s wage, which further fuelled the men’s resistance. Mao said the above quote after a commune in Guizhou introduced the “same-work-same-wage” system to increase its productivity, and he asked for the same system to to be replicated across the country. (Source)

When Chairman Mao wanted something, it happened. Today, Chinese women’s contribution to the country’s GDP remains among the highest in the world.  They make up more than half of the country’s top-scoring students. They’re the dominant gender in universities, in the ranks of local employees of international corporations in the Shanghai and Beijing central business districts—among the most sought after jobs in the country. While the inequality between men and women in the workplace is no where near wiped out — stories about women having to sleep with higher-ups to climb the career ladder, or even get their PhDs are not unheard of, and the central rulership of the Chinese Communist Party has been famously short of women — the leap in women’s rights has been significant over the past century, perhaps because of how little rights there had been before ~ at the start of the 20th century, most Chinese women from relatively well-to-do families still practised foot-binding, in which their feet were literally crushed during childhood in the name of beauty, of status symbol. They couldn’t even walk properly.

Perhaps, the contemporary Chinese women’s economic contribution makes the sexism they encounter in their lives, from the lack of reproductive rights to the “leftover women” label, even harder to swallow. It makes their fantasies fly to even higher, more defiant heights. The popularity of Dangai right now is pretty much driven by women, as acknowledged by Article O3. Young women, especially, female fans who people have dismissed as “immature”, “crazy”, are responsible for the threat the Chinese government is feeling now by the genre.

This is no small feat. While the Chinese government complains about the “effeminate” men from Danmei / Dangai, its propaganda has been heavily reliant on stars who have risen to popularity to these genres. The film Dd is currently shooting, Chinese Peacekeeping Force (維和部隊), also stars Huang Jingyu (黄景瑜), and Zhang Zhehan (張哲瀚) ~ the three actors having shot to fame from The Untamed (Dangai), Addicted (Danmei), and Word of Honour (Dangai) respectively.  Zhang, in particular, played the “uke” role in Word of Honour and has also been called 老婆 (wife) by his fans. The quote in Article O3, “Ten years as a tough man known by none; one day as a beauty known by all” was also implicitly referring to him.

Perhaps, the government will eventually realise that millennia-old standards of beauty are difficult to bend, and by extension, what is considered appropriate gender expression of Chinese men and women. 

In the metas I’ve posted, therefore, I’ve hesitated in using terms such as homophobia, sexism, and ageism etc, opting instead to make long-winded explanations that essentially amount to these terms (thank you everyone who’s reading for your patience!). Because while the consequence is similar—certain fraction of the populations are subjected to systemic discrimination, abuse, given less rights, treated as inferior etc—these words, in English, also come with their own context, their own assumptions that may not apply to the situation. It reminds me of what Leo Tolstoy wrote in Anna Karenina,

“All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

Discrimination in each country, each culture is humiliating, unhappy in its own way. Both sexism and homophobia are rampant in China, but as their roots are different from those of the West, the ways they manifest are different, and so must the paths to their dissolution. I’ve also hesitated on calling out individual behaviours or confronting individuals for this reason. i-Danmei fandoms are where i-fans and c-fans meet, where English-speaking doesn’t guarantee a non-Chinese sociopolitical background (there may be students from China, for example; I’m also ... not entirely Western), and I find it difficult to articulate appropriate, convincing arguments without knowing individual backgrounds.

Frankly, I’m not sure if I’ve done the right thing. Because I do hope feminisation will soon fade into extinction, especially in i-Danmei fandoms that, if they continue to prosper on international platforms, may eventually split from c-Danmei fandoms along the cultural (not language) line due to the vast differences in environmental constraints. My hope is especially true when real people are involved, and c-fandoms, I’d like to note, are not unaware of the issues surrounding feminisation ~ it has already been explicitly forbidden in BJYX’s supertopic on Weibo. 

At the same time, I’ve spent so many words above to try to explain why beauty can *sometimes* lurk behind such feminisations. Please allow me to end this post with one example of feminisation that I deeply dislike—and I’ve seen it used by fans on Gg as well—is 綠茶 (”green tea”), from 綠茶婊 (”green tea whore”) that means women who look pure / innocent but are, deep down, promiscuous / lustful. In some ways, its meaning isn’t so different from Daji 妲己, the consort blamed for the fall of the Shang dynasty. However, to me at least, the flattery in the feminisation is gone, perhaps because of the character “whore” (婊), because the term originated in 2013 from a notorious sex party rather than from a legendary beauty so maligned that The Investiture of the Gods (封神演義), the seminal Chinese fiction written ~2,600 years after Daji’s death, re-imagined her as a malevolent fox spirit (狐狸精) that many still remembers her as today.

Ah, to be caught between two cultures. :)

[kintatsujo]

LOZ AU- The Courage of Running Away PART ONE

warnings: Parental abuse, fantasy religion, fantasy religious abuse

So the original grain of this concept was actually a dream I had once but we'll get to that.

A major aspect of this idea that makes it an "AU" as opposed to "just" a "game pitch as fanfic" concept is that it has a worldmap that looks something like this: 

[Image Description: A map of a continent.  In the center is Gerudo Desert, ringed by mountains that extend from the bottom to top of the continent.  On the west side of Gerudo Desert, from north to south, are countries labeled "Termina," "Holodrum," and "Labrynna," while on the east side are countries labeled "Hytopia," "Hyrule" and "Lorule."  Hytopia is indicated to be a sky island above a territory labeled "Drablands."  Hyrule and Termina are more directly east and west of one another, as the Drablands are the northernmost country of the continent and Labrynna is the southernmost country.  There is an indication of another continent to the east, and off the eastern shore is a sky island labeled "Sky Temple."  To the south of Labrynna is a proper island labeled "Windfish Isle."  There is a legend in the upper left corner that reads "Really generalized AU map.  Proportions not to be taken too seriously and most of the sky islands besides Hytopia just aren't there because it would get too busy."  End Description.]

Lorule as a physical country to the south of Hyrule rather than a mirror version of Hyrule is because I am weak for dumb puns.  Also in general you can describe this as "this is my AU and I do what I want."  

Also the map of Hyrule itself in this AU should be considered to be heavily similar to the Breath of the Wild map because that's what I want shh.  Does this mean the other countries are similar in scope despite being based on countries from earlier and smaller games?  Well, yeah.  

I actually tried out making this worldmap in RPGMaker btw but to get something I was happy with I'd at LEAST need a nicer worldmap tileset for MZ.  Do I have the skills to make that?  Yep.  Have I got the time to make that?  Nope.

Anyway so as noted there's actually a NUMBER of floating sky islands in this version of the setting, and its version of Link was raised here, in the sky temple monastery/commune/abbey don't look at me:

[Image description: A floating island with a round temple, some sort of pillars arranged in a circle, and a few other buildings, one of which might be a dormitory.  The temple has a statue of the Triforce nested in Hylia's wings on the roof.  End description.]

A couple notes here since it's the only good place: In this Hyrule there are Loftwings because I said so.  There is also a Rito run mail service and there are also balloon-based airships.  Again, because I said so.  The Rito are the main people who run supplies to the Sky Temple, but there's also a number of hylians with bonded Loftwings living there.  The Loftwings are a little less mysterious in that they clearly roost nearby riders they've bonded with; note the large archways kind of indicated on the side of the dorm building.  Link, at this point in the story, does not have a Loftwing, which is important for reasons that will become clear by the end of this post.  Also, I'm not sure how obvious it is but I do intend that there's a cucoo/chicken coop set up near the dorm; this is for the eggs but the monk or whatever in charge of them is definitely a crazy bird person and probably also keeps messenger pigeons.  There would also be a garden somewhere and as one can possibly tell there's a graveyard.  Basically this Sky Temple is what I thought Skyloft was going to be a little more like until I found out it was literally a Boarding School Town.  Anyway.

The thing is that this Link was discovered to be the Hero of the age sometime in his infancy.

And this is the person who discovered him:

[Image description: On one half of the page is an establishing shot of a hylian man in blue and white (light gray) robes and a hat, with long hair in a braid and graying at the temples.  He's approximately middle aged by the lines in his face, tall and slender and moderately attractive.  He is wearing heavy gold diamond shaped earrings to match the symbols of Hylia and the Triforce on his clothing.  He is frowning, and he is labeled "Astramorus."  On the other half of the page are a series of comic panels: In the first, a young Link is hiding from a Rito behind Astramorus's cloak.  Astramorus asks, apparently fondly, "Come now boy, where's your courage?" while the Rito sheepishly assures him "Th-that's quite all right, Lordship."  In the second panel, a very small Link dressed in the Hero of Hylia's traditional green outfit is wiping his eyes while holding a sword too large for him.  There is blood on Link's clothes.  Astramorus, standing so that only the hem of his robes are in shot, asks "Come now boy, where's your courage?"  And in the last panel, lit as though by fire, Astramorus now has a much older Link by the back of the neck in a controlling manner, once again asking, "Come now boy, where's your COURAGE?"  End description.]

By the way the manner in which Astramorus is holding the back of Link's neck in the final panel is a sneaky thing my dad used to pull sometimes; basically if you squeeze just hard enough to hurt nobody but the person you're doing it to can actually tell so you can even do it in public without people necessarily noticing.  It took me ages to go "wait that was actually really fucked up that he used to do that."  Shoulder touch is good, neck touch bad.

A note on Astramorus's costume: It's basically an evil version of the costume worn by the priestly guy from the Sanctuary in alttp.  Astramorus himself, well, I had the idea for him well before Age of Calamity came out but yes he is basically named after Aster, so you can guess that he's more than just a terrible father.

Astramorus has been training Link since he could lift his sword, including trials he should have been too small for and acquiring things for him to fight-- and kill.    Link isn't allowed to speak to anyone unless asked questions or told to by Astramorus, not even the other members of the monastery (although perhaps many of the people there have taken their own vows of silence.)  

And he's not allowed to have opinions, and he's not allowed to back down in a fight or say that he's too tired to keep training, and this has been going on since Link was six.  Astramorus tells him this is the ideal.  That never backing down and never stopping is what courage means and what being the hero means.  That starting from a young age is only proof of the hero's purity of heart.

And when Link is nearing seventeen, Astramorus tells him that he's going to present him to the royal family of Hyrule, and that at last the HARD part will truly begin.  (Keeping in mind that he was putting a six year old through trials MEANT for a seventeen year old.)  And Link breaks: 

[Image Description: A comic.  Link is putting together a paraglider not dissimilar to the one from BotW.

He narrates: Tomorrow we're supposed to set out so that I can meet the king of Hyrule.  Which means that this is my last chance to run away.

Link grinds his classic hat into the ground with one boot, and leaves his sword stabbed into the earth behind him.  He leaps off the sky island and toward the sun on the horizon.

Link narrates: I don't care if this is cowardly anymore.

End description.]

And THAT one page is what the dream that started the concept was about; some people might remember me talking about it as long as three years ago and it's just been stuck in my head ever since!  (Also: I love the idea of there being a Link who starts out wearing the classic outfit and THEN switches to other costumes.)

This is obviously not the end of this AU, lol, stay tuned for where Link finally crash lands (spoiler: He makes it pretty far and you might be able to guess from the map >:3c)

#AU August

#LoZ AU: The Courage of Running Away

Bonus: 

[Image description: A headshot flat color sketch of this Link, who has short fluffy light blonde hair and green eyes.  He is yelling, with tears in his eyes: "I am NEVER wearing that STUPID hat again!"  End description!]

[lesbian-vmin]

Reading your post about gender identity...

Just wanted to share my experience on this. Reading all of this makes me realize that I identify with you a lot with this in regards of your gender identity... It's funny bc all my family thinks I'm lesbian. I'm not, but sometimes I wish I were honestly... It's frustrating to be seen as only one thing or another... "you either are very feminine or you're gay". I like to be a girl, when I was a kid there where times that I wished to be a boy... But not like forever, just my thought that being a boy would be easier, that people would judge me a little less.. Idk.. People always made me think that if I didn't behaved girly enough then I was gay... "You must be gay then, you act and likes things that are for boys" that type of things.. And I was confused because I didn't like girls. I didn't talked with anyone about it, but I was like.. I little lost in regards of "where do I fit then?" You know? Because, they were giving opinion on my sexuality based on my looks and tastes... But I was like.. Why can't I like girls then? To me was the question.. Why I don't like girls? Until I started to think, Why should I like anyone only based on what things a like to do or what clothes or hobbies I like? I know this is different from you. But I was soooo confused when I was younger because of this.

I thought, why if I don't like barbies it means I'm like a boy? Honestly... I loved my brother's toys... His toys were funnier than a barbie, I was like.. What I need a doll for? What do I do with that? Like.... ??? It's boring as fuck... So I started to ask just for other things that were more interesting to me than barbies and that kind of stuff... Now I don't care much about what people say, as I said, my family really think I'm lesbian... I mean.. good for them (not my mom, I'm talking about causins and uncles/aunts) lol. But idk.. I like to be feminine, but I also like "boy" clothes... I always did. My personality is... Suga is my bias... And I think we are the same person honestly 😂Not 100% but.. Like 80%. Just to give you an idea. Some people think I'm cold, and some people say I'm very sweet and kind... So I should say it's something that change from "please don't talk to me, I don't like you or your vibe🙄😒" to "I love you, you are so sweet, I'm so glad that I met you 🥺 hug hug". So it depends on the people I meet, which parte of my they bring out..

I don't want to be a boy, I'm glad being a girl, I feel identified as cis-female, but I won't be mad if someone called me tomboy... Actually I think I am... And I don't care. Because I like the part of me that is "less feminine" and more like "boy behavior". What it offends me is the labels. That I have to be a boy or a girl to do or like X stuff.. Like why? I like what like... You like cars/sports? That's for boys.. Like Why can't a girl like that too without being labeled as "this" or "that" and same for boys.

My case is very different than yours obviously, because you were more like, I don't want to behave as a girl because I like girls, and I was like.. I like boys but I have to Iike girls because I behave as a boy sometimes. But in some things I understand you a lot. I wish people stopped assuming other people's sexuality only based on those people's identity and viceversa because is something very complicated. Maybe I am the complicated idk.. Anyways, thank you for sharing your story and your thoughts on JM. I agree with you btw.

So, I just wanna say thank you for sharing your story with me. Even though it’s different, it’s still kind of similar. I’m glad that someone could relate to my story, even if it’s not exactly the same. It just goes to show how dynamic people really are.

Also, your story just proves that people shouldn’t be so quick to judge someone’s identity or sexuality based on what they see. People think because a girl is more masculine, she must like girls or identify as a boy. Or because a boy is more feminine, he must like boys or identify as a girl. But neither may be the case.

You can be a straight cis-female and be more “masculine” than a lesbian or non-cis female. And the same thing remains true no matter where you fall on the spectrum of gender and sexuality.

It’s funny to me that my family never assumed that I was a lesbian, and they always just referred to me as a “tom boy.” I remember my aunt used to tell me that I’d never get a boy to like me if I didn’t act more lady-like, and I’d tell her that I didn’t care if boys liked me or not. She’d always say “You will when you get older.” And now here I am lol. But maybe it was that kind of attitude that made me want to be a boy more when I was a kid. Because I loved being friends with boys, but I knew I didn’t want to date them. It didn’t seem fair that boys could be boys and date girls, and I couldn’t lmao.

That being said, no one was surprised when I came out as gay. The responses weren’t all positive, but no one was surprised. And more people in my family actually came around to the idea a little more when I started to present myself as feminine more often, oddly enough.

It’s funny because I think people shouldn’t assume, like people would assume that you’re a lesbian. But I also think it’s okay for people to be open to the idea. There’s a middle ground where it’s just the right amount of support for you to come out without assuming you’re lying if you say you feel one way or the other. Some people in my family were on this level with me, but it’s rare to find people who fall right on that ideal middle ground. The people who let you know they’re aware of the possibilities in regards to gender and sexuality and talk to you openly about it so you’re aware of it, too. Those who aren’t surprised if you come out as gay or straight or any form of non-cis gender identity. Because while they may have been open to the possibilities, they weren’t assuming anything. So nothing is a surprise to them.

[p0pnstxr]

Hi so I'm going to announce this more professionally.

[less cloggy repost to Tumblr since Id felt Id talk about it here too. You can just scroll all the way down if you just want to hear me announce it btw I wont mind!!! reading about my story behind all this is also fine too]

Throughout the years, I've been getting more and more aware and questioning within deep of my gender and it's construct ever since in around 2018 when I felt I was not really a girl and identified more with being nonbinary. While my gender was static, I felt more comfy with my new label and identity, with the price of being shunned out constantly by my family, including screaming, violence and denial, soon my gender then started turning kinda gloopy and weird. My gender started feeling more acoustic in a way, as it felt a little off or different sometimes. It was more slower and less impacting then it was now, so I continued to use nonbinary to define it though, as gender in a whole was still hard to understand for me. To represent this I made my fursona (which was a delusional attachment for a REALLLY really long while until I had mentally calmed down by myself) a seacow. It shared features of dog, little bits of a different creature entirely, but for the most part, it was a cow mixed with a dolphin. As time moved forward and beyond, I continued to feel unsure about continuing to say I'm exactly nonbinary. By around 2019 my gender started to feel like it's own concept, unsure of how to explain. Skip to now and it's still the same, except now I finally found out how to. I finally spoke up one late night on Twitter about my gender structure and how confusing it was, with how badly I wanted to tell people about it. It didn't seem big, but it was a big stepping stone to my troubles. And finally, after years and years of searching, I've finally found a label that's most fitting. I've been meaning to tell everybody at that point but my social anxiety's hit me dead in the ground, in fact my head is still aching and anxious, but now I can say what I feel. I'm proud to tell you now that I knew who I was and who I am now. To make long stories short, the past out and the future in the way,

I'm coming out as Demifluidflux. It's been rough, but I finally know who I am perfectly. To clarify I am still kinda nonbinary, since it's my static or most common gender, but the flavor of it fluctuates along with other itty bitty parts, including tiny feminity and some chunks of punk. I hope you still see me as valid. If any of you are confused exactly on it I'd be glad to give resources and clarification on what exactly demifluidflux is especially since it's not really talked about alot since its a really long word.