#btw i love buffy shes such a qUEEN

[gaming-thoughts-by-an-idiot]

Fable 3, fuck Logan, lil bitch

Game: do u want to be Prince or Princess?

Me: I'd like to be the third secret sex

Game: what?

Me: THE MAIN CHARACTER

Game: y-yes that's-

Me: WHO GONNA SAVE THE WORLD

Game: that's what the sex-

Me: gotta go girl, boys are so obvious, he's gonna be all proper

Game: have u ever met a man...?

Me: girls are so badass, just look at Buffy

Game:...

Me:...

"Ready to see my man... the bastard Reaver"

"Damn, the city sure got bigger in like 20? Years"

"The hen tried to fly but couldn't but they can actually fly so we were all lied to"

"Damn, children working..."

"I cant remember this part of my castle"

"Holy shit it's fucking huge omg"

"Hehe that's what she said"

"That feather had plans"

"Ew look at that hat"

"Damn my dog could've been prettier"

"Pff, do u wanna look princess-y or cool"

"Obviously I'm picking the short and movable one"

"I fucking LOVE Jasper"

"I'm standing still, I wanna hear his comments to it"

"What happens if I try to leave in my pjs"

"He just went 'are u sure?' "

"Damn, he just threw a word at me that idk what means, but I think its like 'silly' "

"I look so pretty- wtf is that hair?"

"Jasper said avoid my brother, but what kind of sister would I be if I did?"

"I'm glad the princess can talk"

"Lmao I just had like the most gangsta handshake with a guard love it"

"I'm so happy I get to pet my dog, not a fan of how she sounds tho"

"Oh wait, I think maybe since I'm playing 3rd on xbox one, but did the 2nd on 360, maybe I won't have the queen but default king..."

"I'm just walking around shaking people's hands"

"Elliot is such a.... name, and- wait... who's gonna be the girl if I'm playing as him???"

"Next time..."

"I will be EVIL and idk why that's a guy"

"Hohoho I kissed the man"

"The city doesn't look like my city :( or... are we not in bowerstone, was that the name? Jesus, I've played the 2nd game for so long and I've forgotten"

"I love we're holding hands"

"I love Walter"

"Oh no my Prince, he ran away"

Walter: I want u to fight me, like your life dependent on it

Me: wow, that doesn't sound like a tutorial at all

"I'm gonna fuck up the buttons"

"Hell ye I did not"

"Damn, thought I should end the game here so I could sleep, but apparently you can't until a spesific place in the game... oh nooo, I have to do my fave hobby? Terrible:)"

"Running with my bois<3"

"There were NOT this many doors in my castle"

"The default is king :/"

"Imo king is so vanilla, like you don't give the same respect as a queen"

"All my hard work of being a queen just gone"

"Basically next time I'm doing it all on xbox one"

"Right, war room"

"Listening in"

"Damn, I'd be upset too if I was Logan, if I had that haircut"

"Oh, same throne at least"

"Ah... here comes the choice"

"Well, as the queen... I'm a good person... until I charge rent ofc haha"

"Bye baby :("

"He loves me😭"

"My MOTHER'S daughter, thank u very much"

Game: the hero was your dad

Me: what was that?

Game: I said the her-

Me: sounded like the wind

Game: tHE HE-

Me: whatever it was, it was saying bs... I miss my queen

Game: u know what? Fuck it.

"Run run run- Where's my dog btw?"

"Oh nevermind"

"Ugh, we're gonna look at the imposter, the king"

"I mean technically, Reaver IS a hero, he's just a bad one"

"Did Logan also go through the whole grab seal, end up in front of Theresa?"

"The seer of the SPIRE???"

"The queen would've fucking whipped Logan's ass if she knew"

"I'm sensing the fanfic energy... not from that Logan thing but for Reaver"

"I'm such a simp"

"For these terrible men...

"And my queen"

"You guided my MOTHER"

"What does Theresa even do in her spare time? I bet she crochets"

"I got a glove that let's me use magic... can anyone say Link? Cuz im getting Link vibes"

"OH FOR FUCKS SAKE, STOP RUNNING IN MY WAY, YA BASTARD DOG"

"Do I get to name my hero? Or am I cursed to see 'hero' every time she speaks?"

"Do I get to name my dog?"

"Isn't the dog supposed bark when there's treasure close by? Cuz I only found that key cuz of my own memory"

"Jasper is scared of bats, he'd make a terrible batman"

Walter: did u see that Jasper???

Jasper: indeed your MOTHER would've been very proud

"Why can't I run"

"Did the queen make these tunnels?"

"What happens if I don't buy the castle in the second game?"

"Can I slut around in this game too?"

"Like mother like daughter, or is it like daughter like mother? I honestly don't know"

"What's with the gift in the symbol in the corner?"

"Thought all the transportation gates were all gone, I'm pretty sure I'm on one"

"Oh wow, look at all that winter. Just like norway"

"I can make friends by shaking hands"

"I'm gonna make everyone love me with how great I am with my hands"

"For handshakes, I meant handshakes"

"I forgot I had to go back to sanctuary to change, which is much better than just changing out into the open imo"

"Oh hell yea! Look at all those gifts!"

"Bleh the outfit is... yeah"

"Dog potion? For what?

"Pink poodle"

"Doberman"

"White poodle... who wants a poodle?"

"Clockwork dog potion??? What does that even mean???"

"Setter dog potion??? What"

"Five star dog potion...?"

"That's all the gifts, i wanted a gift for myself"

"AWW I GOING WITH ALSATIAN DOG, LOOKS LIKE A GERMAN SHEPHERD OMG"

"I CAN NAME THE DOG"

"should be something fun-.... hehe"

"Betcha u can guess"

"I'm giving 10 coins to everyone, I have 129 left"

"Damn, 20coins left"

"Gotta talk to the man with the small fish name"

"What are those jester shoes"

"My mom, the queen, was busy for like 20 or something years..."

"Oh! I'm getting more gifts!"

"They better be for me istg"

"I went into a sink hole water thing and found a wedding ring"

"I think a fish is proposing to me"

"Ooo, dye"

"Are all my packages dye?"

"Tattoo set, nothing says rebel as much as this, I just got out of the castle"

"Bushy hairstyle"

"Bowerstone soldier uniform...???"

"Yule costume lmao"

"Silly outfits, dye and hair types, oh and that tattoo set"

"Out to explore more!"

[imnotavamp1r3]

♡ TMI tag!!! ♡

So the other day I was watching some of Eugenia Cooney's old videos since I used to watch them a lot as a kid. I found some of her tag videos and I guess I thought it'd be fun to do one of those 2015 Youtube tags but on Tumblr. I'm not sure if this is going to be that interesting but yeah. You can watch Eugenia's video here btw.

🎀 What are you wearing?

I'm wearing a Misfits Marilyn Monroe t-shirt, black cargo pants, a skeleton hand bracelet, and Hello Kitty headphones because I'm listening to music right now.

🎀 Have you ever been in love?

I've had crushes but I doubt I've ever been in love

🎀 Have you ever had a terrible break up?

No

🎀 How tall are you?

168 cm or 5'6

🎀 How much do you weigh?

Last time I got weighed I think it said something like 105 lbs

🎀 Do you have any tattoos?

No

🎀 Do you have any piercings?

No and I don't even have my ears pierced

🎀 What's your OTP?

Buffy x Angel

🎀 What's your favourite show?

Gravity Falls

🎀 What are your favourite bands?

I love so many but The Pretty Reckless, Paramore, Tally Hall, Pierce The Veil, and Sleeping With Sirens are probably my top five.

🎀 What's something you miss?

Nigahiga

🎀 What's your favourite song?

I don't think I really have a favourite song but my top song on Spotify every year is always Make Me Wanna Die by The Pretty Reckless so I guess that's my favourite.

🎀 How old are you?

16

🎀 What's your zodiac sign?

I'm a Gemini but I don't really know what that means other than that I'm apparently evil.

🎀 What do you look for in a partner?

I don't know

🎀 What's your favourite quote?

'I'm just a girl'

🎀 Who's your favourite actor?

Anya Taylor-Joy, she's so gorgeous and smart and she always chooses great projects (except for that one time when she was in the Play Mobil movie). She's probably my favourite scream queen too.

🎀 What's your favourite colour?

Probably really obvious but pink

🎀 Loud or soft music?

Loud

🎀 Where do you go when you're sad?

Notes app

🎀 How long does it take you to shower?

When I'm not crying, less than ten minutes

🎀 How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

Usually about 10-20 minutes

🎀 Have you ever been in a physical fight?

I have a brother so yeah

🎀 What's a turn on for you?

Guys with long hair, mainly because of Kellin Quinn

🎀 What's a turn off for you?

Guys calling girls 'females'

🎀 Why did you join Tumblr?

I was bored

🎀 What are you afraid of?

Looking dumb and doing badly in school

🎀 What was the last thing that made you cry?

Probably my mom arguing with me the last time we had lunch together.

🎀 When was the last time you said you loved someone?

I think it was to one of my friends but I'm not sure

🎀 What is the meaning behind your username?

It came from the Falling In Reverse song I'm Not a Vampire. There's not really a reason why I chose that song specifically, I just really like vampires. Originally my username was just going to be imnotavampire with no numbers, but that was taken so I added a 13 into vampire.

🎀 What was the last book you read?

Lapvona by Ottessa Moshfegh. I might write a whole post about it because I really enjoyed it.

🎀 What book are you currently reading?

Cleopatra and Frankenstein by Coco Mellors

🎀 What is the relationship between you and the last person you texted?

She's my mom

🎀 What is your favourite food?

Probably apples because they're the thing I eat the most

🎀 What is a place you want to visit?

I would really love to visit the Palace of Versailles. It looks so beautiful and I'm so jealous of all of the French queens who got to live there.

🎀 Where is the last place you were?

Panera Bread parking lot

🎀 Do you have a crush?

Yes, on thirty year old emo men

🎀 When was the last time you kissed someone?

I've never kissed anyone

🎀 When was the last time you were insulted?

The aforementioned lunch with my mom

🎀 What is your favourite flavour of sweets?

Strawberry. I'm so addicted to strawberry flavoured things that someone could tell me their vomit is strawberry flavoured and I'd probably try it.

🎀 What instruments do you play?

I play guitar

🎀 What is your favourite piece of jewellery?

Probably the skeleton bracelet I mentioned before because I wear it the most and my mom hates it.

🎀 What was the last sport you played?

If taking ballet as an elective in middle school counts then ballet

🎀 What is the last song you sang?

I sing a lot so I'm not really sure. Probably Bubblegum Bitch by Marina because I sing it all the time.

🎀 What is your favourite pick up line?

It's a toss up between 'Dang, girl, are you a construction worker? Because you are BUILDING,' and 'I want your bull in my Bronx.'

🎀 Have you ever used it?

No but I will

🎀 When was the last time you hung out with someone?

I have no idea. Really all I do is just rot in my room.

🎀 Who should answer these questions next?

Anyone else who also wants to overshare on the Internet

That's it, byeeeee!! ˚｡⋆୨୧˚♡

[kippentrash]

buffy

Ngl I can’t tell if this ask means just talk about Buffy or asking me for any post-finale Buffy headcanons, but since I just posted a post-finale Tyrus headcanon thing I’m assuming headcanons for now lol

She insists on making Andi a time capsule like what Cyrus and Andi made for her before she moved away

Speaking of her time capsule she still has it sitting in her room and refuses to open it

One day she invited Marty over to hang and he was gonna throw something away in it because it looked like a huge ass trashcan

So she had to stop him and inform him it was the time capsule

In which he teased he remembers than and he put something in too but won’t tell her in an attempt to make her open it so he could learn what was inside too

But it didn’t work rip

Buffy decided to try joining cross country, girls basketball, and track in highschool

She also joined her school’s BSU

She ran with Marty most of the time and had mini competitions with him both for xc and track

Marty wins more long distance while she wins more short distance

In xc Marty has to remind her to focus on her stamina a lot

So she just wind up at a stable pace bantering with him most practices

She’s the one to insist TJ and Marty hang out with her and Cyrus and Jonah more often as a group

“They may be BOYfriends but that still means they should be FRIENDS to our friends”

She does geniunely enjoy TJ’s company now but when TJ and Cyrus announced they were dating she still gave him the “hurt my best friend I’ll kill you” talk

Even as Jonah doesn’t use docious magocious she tries to get him to say it again “for old times sake”

She, Andi, and Amber like to have “girls nights” every now and then

90% of the time those nights involve dancing and karaoke

Cyrus one day gives her a “good hair crew” shirt (an extra he didn’t put in the capsule) and she wears is frequently as pajamas

Even with boyfriends they reserve time to hang out with each other independently

No matter how old they get there always comes a time where Buffy carries Cyrus again and she’s always able to do it with extreme ease

In highschool she gets straight A’s and holds tutoring sessions for her friends every now and then

Cyrus helped her understand how to help TJ with math, so anytime he needs extra help outside his special tutor she tries to help him out

There’s some Buffy hcs for now I can give more if ya want LOL

[sandalaris]

LATE! but for the fandom asks: BtVS and Shadow and Bone? 💖💖💖

BtVS

my favorite female character: At the moment it’s probably Faith. Her journey and her approach to slaying has always been fun and interesting, but I’ve been thinking more about the things that lead her there lately. The bad choices she made and what could’ve gone differently with a nudge here or there.

my favorite male character: Xander Harris. I know he’s grown some hate over the years, but I love him dearly. He still one of my favorite characters of all time to this day.

my favorite book/season/etc: Season five is the best in my opinion. I’m not even sure why, but its just so good. Or maybe it’s just the last really good season of BtVS, because I feel like the show went down hill after that.

my favorite episode (if its a tv show): Hush is just an amazing episode. They do a lot with so little spoken dialogue, and the misdirect with Tara was just awesome.

my favorite cast member: Anthony Stewart Head, I always like him in whatever I see him in.

my favorite ship: I have my OTP, Spike/Xander, but at the moment my favorite ship is Angel/Willow. Every now and then I get back on them and need content, I’m just so damn picky about them and they’re on the rarer side ship-wise in the fandom that I hardly ever find anything I like. :(

a character I’d die defending: Xander! >:( He gets way more hate than he deserves and I am not here for it. I won’t got into a big defense now, many people have done a better job than me at it anyways, but the amount of blind hatred he gets is staggering.

a character I just can’t sympathize with: Warren. It’s not just that he killed Tara, but he entire storyline is basically just him being bitter and angry that life isn’t “fair.” I’d argue that he got way more than deserved from life to begin with.

a character I grew to love: Cordelia Chase. During my first watch through, I didn’t care for Cordelia until about season three. I loved her after that, and she was probably my favorite part of AtS. 

my anti otp I will call it notp until I die!: Spike and Buffy. I shipped them for a half a moment when I stumbled across a random season five episode before I ever started watching the show. Then I actually watched the show and just wasn’t into them at all. It’s not that I don’t see the appeal they could hold for others, but they hold absolutely no appeal to me and I really don’t like the subplot of Spike being in love with Buffy that happened in season five. 

Shadow and Bone, possible spoilers ahead! You’re getting multiple answers for almost all of these, btw :P

my favorite female character: 

In the Shadow and Bones trilogy it is my girl Genya. She had some amazing lines/moments and she put with so much all for the chance at a better life. And she was this subtle badass, fighting back in her own small ways, like the method she used to poison the king. I’m a little disappointed they didn’t show the Queen all fake and plastic looking in the show considering how Genya would purposely tailor her just a little off as revenge. I still like her in the show, but she hasn’t yet grabbed me the way she did in the books. I actually don’t think I have a favorite female character in the show at this point.

Nina and Inej mostly tied as my favorites in the Six of Crows books, but Nina made me laugh more which gives her just a little bit of an edge. She’s fun and flirty and doesn’t let anyone, even Kaz, keep her from being herself. She’s also a pretty good grifter, able to use her skills with languages and her ability to read people to get what she wants. 

I didn’t actually like Zoya all that much until later on in the series (a mistake on my part because Zoya is awesome), but King of Scars made her one of my favorite characters. Yes, she’s prickly and prone to jealous sniping when her position is threatened, but she’s also unapologetic in who she is and genuinely wants what is best for her country and people and will do whatever it takes to get it. She learned a hard lesson at a young age that being nice won’t protect her and has fought to keep herself and those she loves/are loyal to safe.

my favorite male character:

I’m not positive he fits the label of “favorite” but I certainly found the Darkling the most compelling male character in the books, and he’s pretty far up there in the show as well. I probably enjoy watching him on screen the most as well, although I feel like in the show Jesper was my actual favorite male character. He was certainly my favorite in Six of Crows books, and the show version of him captures book!Jesper perfectly. 

I wanna say that Nikolai is my favorite somewhere, because I love him so much (he’s funny and sarcastic, which I’m always a sucker for in a character), but I feel like he doesn’t quite count for reasons I can’t put my finger one.

my favorite book/season/etc

Out of all of the Grishaverse, Six of Crows is hands down my favorite. It’s a heist! With young morally-gray criminals who don’t all have this nice heart of gold under it all, who break into-and out of -an unbreakable prison while spouting off witty dialogue! 

There’s only been a single season in the show so far, but I’m excited to see more!

my favorite episode (if its a tv show)

Probably the episode two. There’s something about the way things were revealed and the subtle unfolding of many of the characters that I like. 

my favorite cast member: 

The only one’s who’s name I know is Ben Barnes and I only learned that when he was announced as the Darkling and Tumblr had a meltdown. *shrug* I mostly was like, “that’s the guy from The Punisher. He’s good at playing the villain, so yay.” 

my favorite ship

I don’t want him redeemed in the slightest, nor do I particularly want a happy ending for them, but I love the dynamic between Alina and the Darkling. That push/pull they have, how very alike they are even as they are very opposite, and how she just can’t shake her draw to him and him to her, although he doesn’t try as hard as she does. They have this connection, are insanely compatible, and part of this tragic appeal of them is that in another life they could’ve had that happy ending together. It’s beautiful and tragic, to see how you’ve broken something before you even had it. And there’s something so appealing for me in that, in how their feelings are this tangled mess that can’t be undone and the way they really are the only people who can fully understand the other and the bond that forges between them. 

On a lighter note, Nina/Matthias was my favorite ship in Six of Crows for a long time, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention how much I love Kaz/Inej.

a character I’d die defending

Zoya maybe? Or Matthias? 

a character I just can’t sympathize with

The apparat. I kept waiting to see if his motives were something I could relate with in the books. They weren’t. He’s just a creepy old man who wants Alina to die and become a martyr so he can lead the church in her name. 

a character I grew to love

Probably Zoya. She seemed to be such a stereotypical mean girl in the first book, there only to make things hard on the main character, and I fell for it. She really is so much more than that.

my anti otp

I will accept the term anti-otp just this once because I don’t really have a notp for the show or books. The closest I have is Alina/Mal in the books. In the show I can actually see it and will probably aw over them when they get together, but in the books? He doesn’t seem to care of Alina at all, even as a friend for most of the first book, and gets downright petty and bitter when she’s revealed to be the Sun Summoner. But I can see their friendship in the show, on both sides, and that’s gone a long way for me. It’ll probably never be a ship I love, but I think I’ll probably grow to like it well enough.

[kryptsune]

Kit’s Fandom Love List

🌼 So I have been messaging back and forth with my friends and everyone knows me as the Fell Queen pretty much, an offshoot of the Undertale fandom, but I love so much more content besides that! I was asked what, so here is a list of the things that give me the warm and fuzzies! These are in no order and not all of them obviously. Super special ones are bolded!  Anime/ Manga:  1. Kuroshitsuji (Black Butler) 2. Pandora Hearts 3. Beastars 4. Death Parade 5. Ergo Proxy 6. Inuyasha 7. Fruits Basket 8. Danganronpa 9. Kyoukai No Kanata (Beyond the Boundary) 10. Ancient Magus Bride  Shows:  1. Supernatural (this show is one of my favorites of all time. Say what you want about it but... you can’t take my love away from it.) 2. Doctor Who (all of them up to Mat Smiths version) 3. The Magicians  4. Sherlock 5. Stargate SG1 and Atlantis  6. The Librarians 7. Eureka  8. Buffy the Vampire Slayer 9. The Vampire Diaries 10. Kippo and the Age of Wonderbeasts 11. The Arcadia trilogy (Trollhunters, 3 Below, Wizards) 12. Avatar (the SERIES) 13. Grimm 14. Gravity Falls 15. Star Vs the Forces of Evil 16. She Ra (this was a shocking one to me I definitely recommend it) 17. Gargoyles (yes the Disney cartoon it still hold up today btw) 18. Hazbin Hotel Games:  1. Persona 5 2. Okami 3. Spyro 4. Crash Bandicoot 5. Sly Cooper 6. Gris  7. Franbow 8. Final Fantasy (X specifically its a nostalgic thing) 9. Animal Crossing 10. Pokemon 11. Tomb Raider (OG not the new ones) 12. Danganronpa 13. Five Nights at Freddy’s (Please don’t murder me)

[27emailsicantsend]

3x14 and 3x15 Andi Mack scene by scene recap + my unnecessary opinions lol

Forewarning: as from the title these ARE spoilers to the episodes if you haven’t seen it. I’m tagging spoilers out but there’s still a chance they could be seen. Also, I’m giving a scene by scene recap with my opinions of the show. I’ve been requested to do the recap but I also want to talk about what I thought from these episodes in more detail than my post yesterday. So for the most part it’ll be factual but I’m really invested in these two episodes so I’ll definitely be adding my own twang. It’s virtually impossible for me not to recap my own hype for the episodes lol. Hope you’re a Muffy and Tyrus stan bc I’ve got some cOnTeNt for you ❤️

Ok here. we. go.

3x14

Scene starts in the spoon. It’s Andi, Muffy, and Cyrus. Muffy and Cyrus talk about Andi’s parents not getting married while Amber overhears. She gets upset and asks why. Andi clarifies her parents aren’t married, but still together and Amber makes the comment, “unlike my house. My parents are still married but barely together”. Which gets some awks looks from the table. Andi tells them she’s not sad, but angry. Then she says that B&B (Bex and Bowie) said she’s entitled to her feelings to which Cyrus claims as being manipulative?? (Still don’t see how, but he explains that they are playing dodgeball and b&b are on one side and Andi on the other. She has a ball of anger she wants to throw, but they’re ready for it. So if she throws it, they’ll catch it and then she basically can’t show her anger- he’s obviously been listening to his counseling parents hahaha). Andi asks where she can throw her anger ball (lol) so Amber takes her to a sledge hammer place (Rage Cage) where everyone is in individual cages that have old items that you just beat up with a sledge hammer.

*opening song*

Andi is laying on her bed and gets a really excited phone call from CeCe about the wedding to which Andi feels guilty. She tries to tell Bex to tell CeCe it’s cancelled but Bex refuses bc the next day is CeCe’s bday. This scene had some really good acting BTW (I’ll probably tell you when this happens too bc honestly props to the actors. And the cinematography and music in these two episodes is beautiful. Literally made me feel like I was watching a movie).

Buffy runs up to Marty at a bench and he gets a big dimple smile bc why wouldn’t he be excited to see her?? Lol Buffy starts mocking Marty’s shoes because they have toe inserts and that’s when he tells her they are for a marathon. Buffy gets confused (and lowkey upset) she didn’t know about the marathon and Marty is all, “we have a lot of catching up to do” and I’m all (you have a lot of dating to do because my soul has been empty this past season without you. #RIPME 😭 ⚰️). So Buffy gets all flirty competitive and says she wants to race as well. Marty tries to talk her out of it bc he’s worried about an injury, dehydration, etc. but this is Buffy we’re talking about and she insists she can do it and then runs away lol, but Marty can’t help the love he feels for her and smiles sheepishly as he goes to run away with her (very metaphoric. I love)

Jonah and Cyrus are walking and Cyrus invites Jonah to see a meteor shower in his backyard for a campout (good Jyrus moment if you ship that) Jonah makes a lame joke about not having a s’more in awhile and so he has “s’less”- Cyrus tells him not to hurt himself making that joke 😂😂

B&B and Andi are at a restaurant waiting for CeCe & Ham. CeCe shows up and tells everyone Ham went back to India.

Cyrus and Jonah go into a beautifully set up tent where Cyrus obviously had to out-do himself and make everything in the tent extra. I love a gay interior design queen.

Back at the restaurant, CeCe says Ham went to India for rest. CeCe makes some really weird remark about seeing him again (yikes) and the rest make comments about him doing what he needs to do and that they have to accept it and not take each other for granted. Very subtextual of the real situation, but also a great way to write off his character and play into Bex worrying about cancelling the wedding. She showed fear like she wouldn’t want to say anything to CeCe bc he’s gone, but since CeCe was ok with him leaving, Bex calmed down too. Just really well done. CeCe tried to show Bex venue photo’s and Bex tried to stop her but then Bex just says she had a problem mailing the wedding invites *cliff hanger*

Cyrus and Jonah back at the tent. Jonah is panicking about dying in Cyrus’ backyard and Cyrus brings meat into the tent but makes it all flirty and weird- I don’t ship Jyrus but the whole thing lowkey felt like they were trying to impress Jyrus shippers with date vibes haha (also the meat is BAD if you’re camping bc animals can get to you). Then an animal hits their tent at (obviously) the right time

CeCe now knows the wedding is off and is PiSsEd™️. The waiters are all completely unaware and don’t know how to read the room so they bring a sparkler cake. CeCe flips the sparkler upside down, shoves it in the cake, and exits as dramatically as possible. Leaving the mustached waiter with an awkward face like:

Then there was this weird commercial on my app promoting season 2 like bish you already know I watched that season at least twice don’t play me like that

Back to the pointless tent scene (for real- this scene was just filler. You rip off Tyrus FOR THIS? Actual homophobia). Jonah mispronounces some weird thing (and Cyrus says don’t hurt yourself again) and then breaks the tent. Cyrus makes a failed attempt at opening the tent with a cheese knife but Shazam! saves the day by telling Cyrus not to hurt himself and opening the tent with the same cheese knife (honestly, weird flex but ok). They escape and are saved and watch a poorly CGI’d meteor shower like two old men on their front porch. and yippee five minutes of wasted screen time are over. I don’t care if you ship Jyrus. It was a waste of time when we could have been focusing on the TeA of the show. *rant over- no worries. Many more to come*

Back to important matters, Muffy is now running their race. Marty doesn’t want to race. He just wants to finish in under 4 hours and Buffy wants to finish under his time. Buffy agrees with Mr. Party at first, but then hears the word “race” and bolts away like Lightning McQueen.

Bex and Andi back at the house. Bex says it went bad with CeCe bc she won’t even act like Bex exists. Andi realizes her anger and knows where to take her (you guessed it. RAGe CAGe- Andi said it wasn’t for Bex lol so she wouldn’t tell Bex where she was going with CeCe 😂 the shade)

Marty is jogging along like a middle aged white woman and sees Buffy wheezing. He gets all husband like and concerned as he catches her in his arms. (Which reminds me of a pic I saw on Tumblr where they drew her in his arms but laced it with the “Miss Keisha” vine and I was here for it). Then Marty and Buffy put their arms around each other and he escorts her to a bench. (Just saying, everyone knows Tyrus is going to involve a bench scene but as us loyal fans know, Muffy shadows Tyrus and they have also encountered two (2) benches thus far. Coincidence? Maybe. Will I believe it was a coincidence? Absolutely not). Then he puts her on the bench and acts all cute and paramedic and concerned. He’s been taking doc notes at General Hospital obviously. (He even mentions taking her to a doctor). Buffy is all like, “Run your race Marty. 4 1/2 hours. [I’m the supportive girlfriend you hoe].” And he doesn’t want to leave her and she accuses him of being a martyr? Then she snaps at him (like tf) to go away and he gets all angsty™️ and runs off and my heart broke bc I was not ready for a Muffy battle.

Andi and CeCe at the Rage Cage... rage. In a cage.

Marty comes running back to Buffy with a dimple smile again bc he knows she was trying to “White Fang” him from a movie they saw together (❤️). To “White Fang” is for the boy in the movie to send the wolf away, wolf doesn’t want to leave, so the boy throws rocks at him to make him go. Buffy is caught (but she ain’t mad) and I need to quote this part word for word bc it’s TOO CUTE 🥰🥰🥰

B: You’re the one who said we should run our own race

M: That’s what I’m doing

B: Wanna sit here with me?

M: No. I wanna cross the finish line with you 😭😭😭

And that, my friends, was the day my heart ripped in half from joy

Then he picks her up and they put their arms around each other (I seriously can’t. They made me cry last night and lowkey I thought it was bc I was tired but I’m fully energized and watery eyed... sooo....) then Marty makes a joke about them running and Buffy goes, “you’re hilarious” and his voice gets all soft and he looks at her all gentle and goes, “you finally figured that out” AND PLEASE TERRI STOP IT HURTS. But no, the scene CONTINUES BECAUSE MY HEART APPARENTLY COULD TAKE THAT (lies). And the scene changes and now Marty is PIGBACKING HER ACROSS THE FINISH LINE THREE HOURS LATER. LIKE STOP. STOP. I CAN’T HANDLE THESE TENDER MOMENTS. (Seriously they were together an extra three hours with him helping her. I’m WeAk). And they both get medals and Buffy compliments him so he gets all happy and tells her to keep going, but she runs out of compliments so he goes, “ok, I just wanted to see how deep that well went” with his eyes darting all over her face and then the music shifts to almost like progressive-romantic music as BUFFY PUTS HER ARM BACK AROUND HIM AND THEY WALK AWAY (the music was placed so we knew they were having a moment) and that was the exact moment I died. MY PARENTS. (Watched this scene 3 times and will 100% watch it at least 1000 more).

Then Andi sees Amber raging. In a cage. She’s like “excuse me? What are you doing here” and Amber is all mad at Jonah and Andi’s all break up with your boyfriend yeah yeah cuz I’m bored. And Amber wasn’t here for it because apparently she thinks she’s in love with Jonah now? (with tears in her eyes... I mean, love to me isn’t that angry and hating everything he does [he only sent her six emoji’s apparently and just isn’t there for her] that it drives you to physical violence but ok)-(but good acting along with the last Muffy scene but I’m sure ya’ll picked up on that from my synopsis lol)

3x15

FYI this synopsis won’t be AS long, but that’s because Muffy is absent and I have an unexpresible love for them and this episode also sent me over the EDGE with Tyrus 🙄😤🙃 but I’ll do what I can with Tyrus bc it’s still gay and angsty and I was here for that part of it (also I love the Terri devoted two separate episodes to Tyrus and Muffy. Like she really knows this Friendom and what will keep us watching lol)

Unnecessary opening scene with B&B and Andi going to the movie instead of spending time on their phones (it was cute but unnecessary. I liked in the last episode that the rage cage in the beginning scene actually tied into the episode)

*opening credits*

Buffy and Cyrus watching Kira and TJ like hawks from the bench far away and Buffy is confused af about it. She asks Cyrus and he gets all angsty (I WILL over use this word bc it’s too accurate for this episode, wait til you actually see it) and goes “I don’t know” *shoulder shrug* “I haven’t been hanging out with TJ lately”

Buffy: because of that?

Cyrus: they’ve been pretty much attached at the hip (then Kira has the AUDACITY to jump on TJ’s back) and the back. They look happy.

B: it won’t last. Kira’s not a nice person. Only took me a day to figure that out. Since he’s a GUY, it’ll take longer.

Cloud 10 with Bex and Andi discussing Bex and CeCe making up, but in front of CeCe. CeCe is still PiSsEd™️. Bex tries to talk to her and BEGS to make up with her mom but her mom is cold and I felt Bex’s pain. (Great acting in this scene too. I just wanted to hug Bex. Like did you really have to do her a dirty like that? With Tyrus and Bex, this episode is starting to feel like 3x13 again and I thought we all agreed to never speak of that episode ever again)

Cyrus is sitting all angsty and alone with some frozen yogurt in front of a greenhouse? Literally no idea where he is at but it’s such a mood lol and even funnier that TJ found him there. Like where are they?? Hahahaha but ANYWAY, TJ sits down and confronts Cyrus about avoiding him. Cyrus says he isn’t but TJ is like “kinda feels like it”. Cyrus tries to say that TJ has been occupied with Kira taking up his time and TJ denies that hard. And here’s the TEA sis:

Cyrus: you two are clearly hitting it off. Which is great. I’m happy for you guys.

TJ: you make it sound like we’re a couple. We’re not. We mostly just talk about basketball.

C: and then you give her a piggy back ride?

T: she bet me I couldn’t carry her. That was all

Then TJ tried to tell Cyrus to hangout with them more and Cyrus rejects that bc Kira knows Cyrus is Buffy’s best friend. Then Kira comes in to hoe around the scene and sits at the table. Says “heyyyy” all flirty to TJ 😒 and “hi Cyrus” direct and cold to Cyrus. Then becomes the most fake hoeeeee when pretending to agree with TJ that they should hang out more with Cyrus. Cyrus YEETS outta there and Mr. heart eyes looks like he created depression (it was that prevalent). Kira gets all needy and is like, “hellooo? I’m over here” and TJ just looks at her with the fakest angsty smile. Like why.

At the spoon, the GHC AND Jonah are sitting and Andi tells of this store called Mint Chip where they burn clothes rather than donate them bc it would make the brand look bad and lose sales if it’s with charity. Like??? Ok you actually look better with charity sooooo take two steps back B. Buffy gets the taste of wanting to be a bad guy (cue bad guy by Billie Eilish) and they all go dumpster diving and get the clothes from Mint Chip’s dumpster. Not much happens other than them stealing clothes and Buffy says her ankle hurts so she can’t get in the dumpster. IDK if that’s from the dehydration last episode (bc when she’s walking with Marty 😍 she’s limping) or if she fell wrong at the dumpster. It’s foreshadowing bc I know she has a hurt foot in a later episode so not sure where it will come in or why.

The kids have an outdoor “sidewalk sale” where they give away the free clothes from mint chip and some lady comes and gets a coat. She shows up later in the episode to tell Bex and CeCe about the sale but they do nothing. It was really weirdly staged like this character had more importance in the episode and got cut or she has importance later on. IDK? She just got a ton of screen time for it to go nowhere so we’ll see. And Cyrus is a Queen and styled some guy for an interview and Buffy is a Queen and styled a lady for a first online date. Then Jonah is just himself and doesn’t know what a pencil skirt is. *cue clothing sale montage with Jonah being a player and talking to lots of girls and the GHC+Jonah looking all sweet looking at pics from the day*

B&B get a wedding gift from Celia. It’s a snow globe from the night Bowie proposed, but since it’s mailed, was sent before CeCe knew about the cancellation. Bex tries to write her a thank you card but can’t and cries through it (great acting here too- Bex just takes the cake on acting TBH)

At the sale, Cyrus shows Buffy a shirt he wants to give to TJ (which isn’t a hoodie, surprisingly). He takes a pic & sends it to him to ask if he likes it and Buffy says “it’ll look good with his eyes” and Cyrus is all “it WILL 😍”

Buffy: he’s gonna like it. Why don’t you just give it to him?

C: I thought about that. I’m not sure how much he’s want that.

B: a free shirt??

C: ME. Giving him a free shirt.

B: there’s a great way to find out

C: what is it?

B: *forcing the shirt back to Cyrus* give him the shirt. Maybe it’ll mean something to him. Maybe it won’t. Either way, it’s a nice thing to do [seriously though I stan a Tyrus Ally]

C: it’s TJ. Thumbs up on the shirt *replying to Teej lol* you should come by the sale. It’s amazing. *back to the Vampire Slayer* was that too braggy?

B: not braggy enough

C: TJ *reading the message* I’m at the park *back to Buffy* what do you think that means?

B: he wants you to meet him?

C: you think

B: why else would he tell you where he is?

C: should I bring the shirt? I’m gonna being the shirt. *walks away and comes back* the shirt feels weird

B: then don’t take it

C: *walks away and comes back*

B: *whilst saying nothing hands Cyrus the shirt with a loving, yet so over Cyrus’ gay angst expression*

C: he’s gonna be expecting it... so I’m just gonna- yeah *yeets out of there in gay*

Kira and TJ at the park. Kira asks who TJ is texting and he says no one 😤 so TJ suggests feeding the ducks and Kira decides to hoe around yet again and suggests swinging first. She’s all flirty and TJ is ~not straight and not here for it~. He’s all like “I’m not five” like he doesn’t go swinging and Kira gets all competitive over who can swing higher and makes comments reflecting his and Cyrus’ convo which gets him to get on the swing (reluctantly) and also she is on Cyrus’ swing?? So umm? Get tf off???? And that’s when Cyrus pops around a tree, shirt in hand, to see THAT DISGUSTING MOCKERY OF A FRIENDSHIP I HATE IT SO MUCH??? EWWWW. And he’s all sad and angsty and jealous so he walks away **AND AS HE’S WALKING AWAY DOES A LOOK BACK SOOOOOOOOOO HE IS FOR SURE IN LOVE FREAKING HECK I CAN’T** and I just want to hug my boi and I can’t hug him and ugh 😭😭😭 my sad tears are here.

So Cyrus sees Buffy and tells her TJ was with Kira so that makes Buffy all annoyed (she’s a real one). Cyrus becomes a liar and says they’re “good together” again. Buffy tries to reassure him it won’t last, but Cyrus isn’t sure and now has this shirt he doesn’t know what to do with. He gives it to Jonah and says he has nice eyes too??? Like umm? Rebound much, Cyrus?? Like Boo. Don’t do that. I’m here for YOU. Jonah then tells some woman about how they pulled off the clothing shop and a police officer shows up. They don’t have a license to sell and never bought the clothing so they can’t give it for free. Next thing you know Bex is getting a call (after trying to make things right with CeCe AGAIN and more A+ acting.. seriously though freaking FORGIVE HER ALREADY SHE IS DOING EVERYTHING SHE CAN) and runs with CeCe to go help bail the GHC+Jonah out of jail (this was also after the woman in the coat makes a 2 second appearance at cloud 10 to talk about the sale and NOTHING HAPPENS WITH HER SO WHY). The scene ends with the cell door closing so I hope next episode maybe this scare freaks CeCe enough into making up with Bex. But IDK.

I’ve got many mixed feelings about these episodes. Hope you enjoyed my highly detailed and opinionated synopsis of the show 😂😂 can’t wait for next week!! ❤️

[roidespd-blog]

Chapter Sixteen : THE QUEER KING RECOMMENDS

The Queer King recommends THE DEATH AND LIFE OF MARSHA P. JOHNSON (2017) No one knows what really happened to activist and trans pioneer Marsha P. Johnson the night she died. People still trying to understand. Why do you need to see it ? Marsha P. Johnson is an icon and learning about her is learning about Stonewall and our culture.

The Queer King recommends FAGGOTS, Larry Kramer (1978) Fred Lemish, looking for love, gravitates in a New York City full of glory holes, BDSM, orgies and becomes disillusioned along the way. Why do you need to read it ? It’s Kramer’s first novel. It’s ruff. His writing doesn’t shy away from the reality of gay life and he does not take any prisoners alive. A must read.

The Queer King recommends TANGERINE, Sean Baker (2015) On Christmas Eve, Sin-Dee discovers her pimp boyfriend has been cheating on her. With her friend Alexandra, she goes searching for him Why do you need to see it ? Shot on an IPhone for a ridiculous amount of money, this dramedy puts trans women up front with incredible narrative audacity.

The Queer King recommends A LITTLE LIFE, Hanya Yanagihara (2015) Jude, Willem, JB & Malcolm are best friends living in New York City. From college to middle-age, with most focus on Jude, you will learn to care for them like no other fictional characters before. Why do you need to read it ? I can’t stress this enough. This novel is extraordinary. 18 months later, I’m still not over it. It will break your heart.

The Queer King Recommends PLEASE LIKE ME, Josh Thomas (2013–2016) Josh discovers he’s gay, putting a spin in the lives of his girlfriend, his lazy best friend, his newly-wed dad and his depressed mother. Why do you need to see it ? This Australian comedy achieves in tone and heart what Looking never could. And also, there’s Arnold. Oh, Arnold.

The Queer King Recommends HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH, John Cameron Mitchell (2001) Hedwig, an East German gender queer rock singer, is waiting for her operation that will get rid of the one-inch mound of flesh between her legs. Why do you need to see it ? Poignant, full of incredible tunes and an extraordinary performance from writer-director JCM. Sugar Daddy, Bring it Home.

The Queer King Recommends THE PRINCE OF SALT/CAROL, Patricia Highsmith (1952) Young Therese meets Carol, an rich older woman. The “friendship” that will follow will change her life forever. Why do you need to read it ? An unprecedented feat in literature, a lesbian love story in which the protagonists are not punished in the end. The movie adaptation by Todd Haynes is also a must-see.

The Queer King Recommends 120 BATTEMENTS PAR MINUTE, Robin Campillo (2017) France, 1990s. Act Up. The AIDS Epidemic. Love. Revolution. Why do you need to see it ? To remember what happened. It’s earth-shattering. Silence = Death. What are you waiting for ? Go see it, now !

The Queer King Recommends ONE DAY AT A TIME (2017–2019) A family of hispanic descent tries to survive in today’s America. Why do you need to see it ? For the greatest coming-out storyline on television. So perfect. Bring the show back!

The Queer King Recommends GIOVANNI’S ROOM, James Baldwin (1956) David, a young american who lived in Paris, remembers his complex relationships with the men in his life, particularly a bartender named Giovanni. Why do you need to read it ? Top-3 greatest gay novel of all-time. The first time I read it, I couldn’t finish it. I read the last 30 pages 4 years later. It’s THAT powerful.

The Queer King Recommends A VERY ENGLISH SCANDAL , Stephen Frears. (2018) Three-part miniseries about the Jeremy Thorpe Scandal. Why do you need to see it ? Three words. Whishaw. Davies. Frears. Funny as fuck. I’m starting a Ben Whishaw fanclub BTW.

The Queer King recommends THE ADVENTURES OF PRISCILLA, QUEEN OF THE DESERT, Stephan Elliott (1994) Three drag queens take a road trip across Australia to get to a paid-job. Why do you need to see it ? One of the rare 90s positive representation of LGBT+ people, it’s funny, gorgeous looking. A classic. PS The soundtrack is IN-CRE-DI-BLE.

The Queer King recommends JUST KIDS, Patti Smith (2010) The chronicles of a love story beyond societal restrictions between Patti Smith and revolutionary artist Robert Mapplethorpe. Why do you need to read it ? Aside from the historical accuracy of the 60/70s, you explore what it feels like to really love someone. And Mapplethorpe is a fascinating man. I cried multiple times.

The Queer King recommends THE X PORTOFLIO , Robert Mapplethorpe (1978) A series of photographs that shade a light on homosexual practices (most of them extremes). Why do you need to see it ? A lot of Mapplethorpe’s work is great, but this is beyond. Not for the sensible soul. Hardcore.

The Queer King recommends SHORTBUS, John Cameron Mitchell (2006) An extremely diverse group of people are desperately trying to connect in a vibrant New York City. Why do you need to see it ? That little miracle isn’t shy about sex. ALL kinds of sex. It’s very much like a Robert Altman movie, if Robert Altman shot a lot of oral sex in his career.

The Queer King recommends LESS, Andrew Sean Greer (2018) As his 50th birthday is coming up, writer Andrew Less is traveling around the world to avoid going to his ex’s wedding. Why do you need to read it ? For the exploration of a gay man’s psyché while his youth and opportunities are behind him. As a gay man, it made me sad. Then it gave me hope. Also now, I want a blue suit.

The Queer King recommends CLOSET MONSTER, Stephen Dunn (2015) 18-year old Oscar tries to figure out his sexuality and face his childhood demons Why do you need to see it ? The Buffy references and great acting. Duh.

The Queer King recommends THE WAY HE LOOKS, Daniel Ribeiro (2014) Blind high school student Leo meets new classmate Gabriel. He starts developing romantic feelings towards him. Why do you need to see it ? Desires and self-realization are themes very well exploited in this movie. The two main actors are phenomenal. I almost wished I was 16 again (but not really).

The Queer King recommends WHEN WE RISE, Cleve Jones (2016) A complete memoir about the journey of activist Cleve Jones, following into the path of Harvey Milk to keep fighting for LGBTQ+ rights and against the AIDS Epidemic. Why do you need to read it ? An in depth look at life at the fore front of activism, with gorgeous interludes of romance, sex and heartbreaks.

The Queer King recommends KILLING EVE, Phoebe Waller-Bridge (2018-present) MI:5 Eve Polastri’s pursuit of International killer Villanelle. Why do you need to see it ? Because lesbian desires are still mostly unseen on mainstream, award-winning programs. It’s very, very, very good.

The Queer King recommends ZIGGY, STARDUST & ME, James Brandon (2019) 1973. Jonathan meets Web. He’s not supposed to. He needs to change. Sweet Ziggy won’t help him now. Why do you need to read it ? It’s not out until August (but I have a proof copy). It’s not great literature (it’s YA after all) but it did fill my heart with feelings of love and hope. Everything Bowie is good for the soul anyway.

The Queer King recommends PRIDE, Stephen Boresford (2014) 1984, Brittain. A strike is breaking the country apart. Lesbians & Gays decide to give their support to the miners. Why do you need to see it ? Because it’s still rare to see a funny movie about gay people which is not condescending.

The Queer King recommends ANGELS IN AMERICA, Tony Kushner (1991–1993) A complex, metaphorical examination of American life, the AIDS epidemic and homosexuality in the 80s. Why do you need to read it ? The writing is glorious, full with incredible characters. A very sensitive approach of flaws in the human spirit. It’s epic.

The Queer King recommends LE ROSE ET LE NOIR , Frédéric Martel (1996) Everything that happened to the Queer community in France from 1968 until the arrival of the PACS. Why do you need to read it ? Information is key. You won’t get a deeper source of information.

The Queer King recommends LILTING, Hong Khaou (2014) A mother tries to understand who her son was after his death, co-existing with his grieving lover. Why do you need to see it ? A story of death, acceptance and race, Lilting is a delicate piece of filmmaking. And again, Ben Whishaw. Goddamn Ben Whishaw.

The Queer King recommends MOONLIGHT, Barry Jenkins (2016) The youth, teenage years and adult life of a black gay man struggling with his identity. Why do you need to see it ? Black gay men are not a common subject. It won Best Picture at the Oscars. Fucking Amazing.

The Queer King recommends POSE (2018-present) The tribulations of gay and transgender characters in the ball scene of the late 80s. Why do you need to see it ? The first of its kind — where representation is limitless, it’s an homage to a fabulous and terrible time in LGBTQ+’s life. As I said in a previous article, it’s essential.

[ifeveristoday]

Amazon releases the Boom! Buffy a day earlier than its published date - I thought it was just a fluke with the first digital copy, but I preordered the second issue and it happened again.

Buckle down internets, here are some mildly quick reactions to issue 2 of the Boom! reboot

okay, so the preview panels are fun to guess about and theorize but wow, dialogue really puts everything in context and all of the supposed drama that I was thinking/okay reading other people’s thoughts re: what was going to happen -- I was wrong about pretty much everything except for Buffy disliking Joyce’s boyfriend. Of a year. 

who is probably most likely not evil or going to die in a horrible fashion ...right?

Nice meeting you Eric.

The pacing of this issue is just as quick as the first one - I feel because there are so many characters and such a rich mythology to draw from, that there’s going to be a long run of introducing all of them into the Boom!verse before there is a long sustained arc - that we meet 2-3 new characters each issue and then get a corner piece of the overall puzzle.

This is both good and bad - because it can be overwhelming to a new reader who may not have seen the show and is experiencing Buffy for the very first time in comic form, but for a long time fan like myself - these little introductory drips make me really impatient for what comes next. I just want to collect all the Scoobies and get to the story!

The new additions - Eric and Rose don’t strike me as anything more than love interests currently and are appropriately supportive of Joyce and Willow. 

They’re more like cameos but I hope they will get fleshed out in future issues.

Onto canon characters-

Cordelia, Cordelia, Cordelia. In full Queen C/Tracey Flick mode. The twist is that there is no animosity between her and Willow, and Cordelia is that rare popular person who’s actually nice to everyone which is so not how popular media portrays high school to be. I know! Willow envies Cordelia but it’s not due to any messy romance issues, it’s because she thinks Cordelia is so much nicer, smarter and more beautiful. Rose sweetly reminds her that she is all that too.

So for everyone who was worried that just because Willow wears crop tops now she isn’t the awkward insecure muppet skinning sweetheart from the show --- she still is.

Cordelia’s confidence and charisma have been amped to 11 in the Boom!verse - she’s running for class president and already has been Ms. Sunnydale 2017 and 2018. In a conversation with Spike, she also reveals that she doesn’t care what other people think about her.

It’s interesting in this introduction of Cordelia- she’s the most overtly confident, with it character so far - Buffy has that whole secret identity she’s poorly keeping and burgeoning slayer powers, which leads to prickly independence and sassing of authority figures and also a remarkable lack of knowing how to read a room, Willow has self-doubt about her own worth, and Xander -- well those blue boxes were his blogs and feelings of alienation the entire time. They’re three separate characters that are drifting alone in the same direction, whereas Cordelia has the appearance of popularity, beauty, and connecting to others. So ...pretty parallel to the show actually.

Robin - similar to Cordelia in the confidence department - he’s also super smooth - the closing distance between him and Buffy in each descending panel was a nice touch. Buffy, who is already on edge for inadvertently showing off her slayer speed to the track coach, mistakenly thinks Robin is flirting with her - which he neatly turns around into a compliment and a flirt. It was cute, but I want to know why he fell off a roof.

But back to that other meet cute - Cordelia spots a few of her campaign balloons floating around Sunnydale woods and because she’s environmentally minded, runs to catch them.

Spike is lurking in the woods. As you do.

This dialogue:

What’s a nice British guy like you lurking around high school campuses for?

Luring girls like you into the woods.

What big eyes you have, Grandmother.

Cordelia does not interrogate Spike further about why he’s hanging out in the woods and even offers him a ride -- but this is brushed off due to Cordelia’s belief that paranoia is pointless - “..what’s the point in assuming everyone is out to getcha?”

Oh you sweet summer child.

They’re all so young, Gandalf. *sniff

And Spike knows her name, so that’s going to end up real well.

I thought it was both believable and telling that Xander’s blog box wrote “Girls don’t even have to try to be likable. A friendly smile, and they have anyone wrapped around their finger.”

Spoken like a boy who doesn’t know anything about girls. But he’s in pain and we’ve seen what happens when people are in pain and don’t reach out - as quickly as the Scooby Gang assembled in the first issue, they are distant from each other in this issue as other characters are introduced. Xander is constantly shown as an outsider looking wistfully at Willow/Rose and Cordelia. And the chat group with Buffy/Willow, he really feels left out. I honestly hope they don’t go down the path Jonathan did in Earshot with Xander’s characterization, but that last ominous blog box - When am I gonna finally get what I want? <shades of school shooter I’m just saying there’s media precedence>

And finally, to Anya and Drusilla - they’re the keepers of the Spooky and hint at an arc - what brought them to Sunnydale in the first place. Drusilla knows Anya is a demon and can’t be tortured or killed, and Anya tricks Drusilla with a psychology trick, which -- I’m not sure I like, but I will admit I laughed at Anya’s smug expression in the last panel. Bet you feel real dumb right now -- indeed. I’m going to calm down on the theorizing of future previews because they are misleading without dialogue. 

So future issue: JENNY CALENDAR (Year Book Club will now be meeting in Ms. Calendar’s classroom in Room 106), the school play is Phantom of the Opera (could be worse. could be Cats.) and there’s a sinkhole in the Science Wing.

And there’s a gossip girl style bulletin at the beginning of the issue:

Ok, guys, NEW SCHOOL YEAR UPDATE! There’s a new student named Buffy and she seems SUPER cool, but also, like, super introverted? Btw I am GREAT at talking to introverts, but she spends all her time in the library with the hot dad librarian. Weird. Also, I hear she walks around a lot at night STABBING PEOPLE. Who does that? Maybe she just needs a new friend to show her that stabbing is bad!

Immediate headcanon: this is Harmony writing these updates. Also Xander’s blog has only three followers. 

Final verdict - they’re still hammering out characterizations and the tone of the story, but I dislike that the Scooby Gang has basically evaporated in the second issue and that the cameos of the love interests don’t really add anything to the story except to announce their existence. Eric is totally not going to bite it at any time.

Buffy basically only hangs out in the library and hasn’t attempted to make any other friends besides Xander and Willow, there is no Dawn (and no Mr. Gordo, this is outrageous), Cordelia’s charm offensive makes me think she’s going to reveal herself as a Mayor Wilkins type later on but until then, shine on you crazy diamond. Giles is there to be annoyed at Buffy and I find myself in that odd position of being both on their sides but mostly like Giles, get your feet off the table, Buffy. I was hoping to find out more about when Buffy started training with Giles - they’re definitely not close yet, still very much in the I’m just doing this because I have to and why don’t you take your sacred calling more seriously, you frivolous American teenage girl phase. But yeah, she’s bratty to both Joyce and Giles.

Willow and Rose were there to be cute, and that’s appreciated but again - Rose didn’t really bring anything meaningful to the storyline.

Also yeah there’s a giant bat monster that kills vampires loose in Sunnydale.

Must be Tuesday.

[luna-aesthetic-s]

!!!!!!!ANDI MACK 3X20 SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!

YALL I CANT SKENOAJ FOWKR

IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED 3X20, SCROLL PAST THIS VERY FAST!!!!!

CECE A QUEEN, TRAILING THAG SUITCASE DOWN THE STAIRES

DID CECE JUST- YES THERE THROWING A PARTY OMG

THEME SONG IM TRYING NOT TO CRY

OKAY BUT Andi honey what is that jumper

omg Sava letter, ahjskd gkwkckks

LMAO BEX JUST FELL BACK INTO THW SOFA QUEEN

AMD BOWIE TOO XMSMSL

BOWIE IS A MOOD

OMG ANDI STUNNER THE HELL

BEX OMG I CANT I NEED TO PAUSE TO ACCEOT THUS OMG

LOVE TBE BUBBLES

GHC ENTERED TBE CHAG

THE PARTY

okay btw I'm pausing like every 10 seconds but oh eell

WHI IS MARTY TALKING TO

THAT DISASTERS

Oh rachel

ME 2 CYRUS ITS MOT TRUE

BUFFY CALLED TJ IBER SKSKSK

HIS DAFT WAVE AWW

no kira

BUFFY HAS CAUGHT ON

NO HE IS HUGGING HER

STOO THIS

OMG IM SORRY I WAS PROBABLY DELUDING MYSELF ANYWAY

IM SAD

OKAU I SKSKSK NOOOOOOOOO

TJ doesn't wanna dance

Cyrus go

Kira go away pls

I begs u

OMG TJ BEUNG PROTECTIVE I CANT

HE IS TELLING KIRS OFF FOR LAUGHING AT CYRUS HELLO

OMG KIRA

It's hapoening

MAKE ME PICK I CANT SKMSKSJFRDNSKDNFJSNDHELPP

KIRA BYE SHES GONE YAY

TJ LOOKS SAD THI SAD BOI HOURS

THE DINOSAUR oH MY GaWD

WJOS THE DINOSOUR

omg what if it's tj

it's tj

cmon

OR MAYBE BEX

Or bowie

imagine it was cece

OMG CECE I CANT SKSKSKSKSK

CEVE A QUEEN PART 2

KSKAKAKKDKAKD

OMGGGGG

KEYBOARD SCENE I CANT SKDKDKFKNFKDJFJEJDJDJKFJ ITS A SAD SONG WAUT IS THIS LADY GAGA

OMG CYRUS I CANT ITS LADY GAGA

AMBERRRRRRRRRRRR

IM DJDNFJSJFJFJEJJRKEKEJFJRKEKRKEJF

OMG I CANT LIPPENT WINS ITS LADY GAGA

THEY ARE SINGING LADY GAGA

IM GONNA CRYYY

BUFFY SINGING ONG HER VOUCE ITS OMG CSN SOFIA BECOME A SINGER

AMBER AND CYRUS SINGING TOFETHER

I CANT IM DANCINGGGG

RIGHT TRACK BABY I WAS BORN THIS DWAYHH

AMBER A STHNNER AS USUAL

OMH THAT WAS CUTE

RICE LMAO

the bracelet

The bracelet

OMG

The bracelet

the bracelet

OMG

bury it? what the hell

awwww

planotonic jandi is actually cute

how is this so sad and happy at the same time

omg stop I'll cry

mUFYY

MUFFY

parallels

PARALLELS

it was

banter free conversation omg

how was Ur day aw

AWKWARD BUT I LOCE IT

BUFFY WHAT HAPPENED

OMG NVM

aw

I aw

omg

Buffy I can to like u omg

this is happening

THIS IS HAPPENING

awkward

THERE HOLDING HANDS

I CANT

Omg

MUFFY KISS

guys

MUFFY KISS?!?&!!!??!!!!!OMGOMGGGGGGGGGGGGGIM TRYING NOT TI SVRRAM THE HELL

OH MY GOSH

MUFFY JUST KISSED THE HELL

bench scene omg wait I cant

KIRA OH

OMG WITCH REFRENCE

OMG DTIO IM SOGT

ONG

OMG HIS NAME

OMGGGGGGG

OMG I CANT

I CANT

Never use it

CANT WAIT TO SEE THIS SCENE EBERYWHERE

WHAT

OMG

WHAT

How do I SPELL THAT

TOLONIS JACKER?

Whay

What?

IM COFNSUED WHO IS THAT

Awww I'm soft

stoo

OMG

HANDS

THER EHANDS YALL

OMG

STOP I CANT THE TENSION

YES

THERE HANDS

I CANT OMG

THERE GOLDING HANDS

STOOooop OMG

what's the picture show us

WAIT WAS THAY THE BENCBS VENE CUTTEE

I'm sad stop this

there babies

Andi omg no

this is the time

NO

STOP THIS IS WHAT WHY FIF SHR RO THIS

Whay

nono wait

this is goodthing?

oh my gosh

yes it's great

I KNIW BUT ATLEAST ANDI WILL BE JAOOY

She seems happy

POTTERY DEN AWWW I WANNA SEE THAT

FLASHBACKS NOOO

YAKL I CNA TSTOO THIS RUGHT NOW

DONT CRY DONT CRH DINT CRY DONT CRY

dam the secret baby flashback LMAO

DINT C R Y

stop

WHAY ARE THE LAST WORDS GONNA BE NONSTOP

LMAO OMG LOVR THIS

DI T CRY OMG

S T O P

WINNIE THE POHmpooh?,po?

THE SPOON YAY

IM NOT DAYING GOODBYR OMG STOP

ANDI JACMET IS SO CUTE THO

oh my gish

the last words where ily andiman

ODKDKAKFMKWLSMFMDLEKFLFLDLDLFKIM GONNA WATCH THIS ALL DAY

but can't we just talk about how Tyrus confused with there hands the hell-

[modern-sybil]

Get to know me tag game - Magicians edition

I got tagged by @quellthefire (who is a total gem and a great person to bounce headcanons and future episode hopes and dreams off of, btw)

Name: Katie or Miss Berry. I’m missberryisbest on legit every social media platform I have.

When you started watching the Magicians: I watched the first ep way back when it came out and didn’t feel it (BECAUSE I WAS YOUNG AND A FOOL). I started rewatching when season 3 dropped on Netflix and I WAS HOOKED.

favorite season (so far): Season three holds my heart, but if Queliot grows on through season four then I will definitely change my mind. I love this season so far, but I’m too scared of losing good things to claim it as my favorite yet. And the quest theme of s3 was just marvelous.

favorite female character(s): Margo Fuckin’ Hanson. All day every day.

favorite male character(s): Eliot and Quentin are tied. 

if you were a magician, what would be your discipline? (i.e. your specialty). The quiz I took gave me natural magic, which definitely fucks with where I already am at, so I’ll agree.

which of the main characters would you best get along with? Margo. She knows what she wants and doesn’t fuck around and I can dig it.

which of the main characters do you relate to most? Probably Julia, she takes no shit, loves with her whole heart, will fuck you over if you mess with her. I’m pretty sure she is also a Scorpio. And her ability to grow and evolve after massive trauma is something I hella relate to. I want to say Quentin, but he is WAY too open and vulnerable to be a me, lol.

favorite unlikable character/villain: This one is harder than I thought!!! Probably shadeless Julia. She was so pragmatic and she got shit done and I stan a queen.

favorite pairing(s): Queliot. But honestly everyone is so hot and good together I kinda just want one big poly family dynamic. But Marqueliot, kady/penny23/julia and Fengo are my other three main pairings. Queliot is the OTP above all others forever tho.

favorite episode(s): Escape from the Happy Place, The World in the Walls, A Day in the Life, Marry Fuck Kill.... many many many

top 3 fandoms outside magicians: Brooklyn 99, The Good Place, and Buffy. 

dream job: Honestly, I don’t really have one. I just want to be financially secure enough to be a foster mom. Maybe be a super rich and fancy chocolate taster or some shit.

what one thing do you wish people knew about you: I am both the mom friend and the dad friend, many a person in my life refers to me as “parent.” Legit just start talking to me like we are friends and we are. It is that easy.

Tagging my peeps who heart/reblog/chat Magicians at me, if I haven’t seen their post already. If I tagged you and you already did a post, @ me in the comments!! I’ve been reading all of them and following more peeps!! I love this fandom. If I didn’t tag you, I either thought I saw someone else tag you or I thought I remembered reading yours, or I am just a bad potato that doesn’t deserve your friendship. In any of those three cases, consider yourself tagged. If this isn’t your scene, then I hereby untag you and I’m very sorry for the tag, you da bomb!

@duh-vonne @king-quentin-of-fillory @el-and-q @detectiveinspectordonut @official-mermaid @assuredentropy @norabombay 

[luckyfaeth]

hey so i was going through your pinterest (your aestethic boards are dope btw) and stumbled across your ocs, they seem pretty cool. could you maybe tell us about them?

*gentle gasp* someone finally wants to know about my babies 

[here’s the board if anyone’s curious]

so I currently have two different universes that these OCs are parts of

 devon and eli are in one and abigail and marcela are in the other 

dev and eli don’t have much of a plot

they’ve both just graduated high school

dev works at a local burger and fry place and eli comes in like every day after his band’s rehearsal and orders fries and they fall in love 

i havent developed them much 

now the other universe actually has it’s own board  and is going to be some sort of mash of supernatural/stranger things/scooby doo/buffy thing? i haven’t decided on plot bc i have a lot of different ideas but its gonna have some spooky stuff

marcy is a sort of take no shit, ready to fight kinda gal

she’s super curious and impulsive which leads her to discovering some Supernatural Shit 

she also definitely has a little bit of a hero complex 

her family is puerto rican

this takes place in a Small Town so...her classmates were never exactly the nicest to her but she kind of developed a “fuck you, I dont care what you think” attitude to deflect it 

(she’s secretly insecure as fuck though)

also a major drama queen 

pansexual queen

abigail is kind of cold and sarcastic and never really had many friends because she just wont open up to anyone

her dad is a preacher and her mom was in the army (they’re divorced; she lives with her dad and basically never sees her mom anymore, but she always wears her dogtag under her clothes)

she has a very...complicated relationship with religion 

idk how she gets dragged into the supernatural shit but she Does and blames Marcy for it 

repreeeesssseeeddd lesbian! 

theyre in love

i have like a few other things about these two but this is getting long so! i’ll save it >:3

[theaterofthebizarre]

Some characters I’ll be cutting from the roster/cast list and my reasons why. As well as some I’m seriously thinking about dropping and why. I’m open to feedback on the one’s I’m up in the air about.

Jessica Rabbit (Who Framed Roger Rabbit)- I love this lady to pieces. She’s such a feminist icon. And I’d love to play her but for one I see so many great roleplayers already doing her in an interesting way and I feel like I can’t bring much new to her. And I already have Betty Boop, a toon who needs my attention I feel.And I should devote my time to her.

Rip Van Winkle (Hellsing Ultimate)- Her hyperness and psychoticness reminds me a bit too much of Demencia and I don’t want them to end up too similar! Though I would’ve loved to develop her further I think I’ll skip on it.

Victoria Evergot (Corpse Bride)- I love her and I think she’s a cute and interesting character that gets overlooked and I like victorian women but I also feel like that’s not much for her to do in an already crowded cast list. So I’ll skip.

R. Dorothy (Big O)- Her remoteness is similar to how I play Sabrina. So even though I love the character and would like to see her developed further I might pass for now. Though I may return again later. Temporary pass.

Drusilla (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)- I’ve played Drusilla in the past and enjoyed it and she’s my favorite Buffy character. But aside from having both Seras and Aleera and Girlycard on here already I think there’s such a thing as vampire overdose. 

Lucy Westerna (Bram Stoker’s Dracula)- Again with the vampire overdose. And this one is very similar to Aleera. Also she has a less interesting backstory I feel. So I’ll pass her up in favor of one of Dracula’s established brides.

Tiffany Ray (Chucky series)- I already have a love-crazed psychotic fangirl (Demencia) and I don’t want to wear myself out on the same themes. Even though I love Tiff. I see some roleplayers already doing her justice too.

Kathryn Merteiul (Cruel Intentions)- Mean girl who I think I play really well but who has the same faceclaim as Buffy and also happens to have a similar disposition as Chanel. I want to keep the bitchy meangirl count down to one on the site if I can.

Verona (Van Helsing) - I only need one of Dracula’s brides really. I can NPC this one when I need to.

Marishka (Van Helsing)- See Verona.

Akasha( Queen of the Damned)- I really love vampires, don’t I? Well, I’d love to play Akasha but for some reason I’m not feeling the muse for it.

Persephone- With Calypso, Casandra and other mythic figures in the roster Persephone doesn’t feel necessary though I’ve felt a kinship with her for years. As I feel less and less “trapped” I feel less and less like playing her. So maybe passing her up is a good idea.

Muses I’m considering cutting but am undecided about.

Sarah Tilly Coe (OC)- This is Licorice the Umbreon’s pokemon trainer, a 14-yr-old foulmouthed girl, very spunky with a high IQ who can be too big for her britches. I’m actually pretty stoked about her honestly. I’m not sure why I want to cut her. I’m just considering it I suppose because the roster is so big? I’ll probably keep her. 

Blood Countess (AHS: Hotel)- I’m already quite in love with the Gaga potrayal of this character and I’ve not even finished the season. But again. Another vampire? I’m just not sure. I’m up in the air. It will depend on how the season goes and if the muse cements itself in my heart.

Bellatrix Lestrange (Harry Potter)- I’m noticing a pattern here. I like these lovestruck fangirls with a psychotic streak, don’t I? The nuttier and more powerful the better. Luckily, Bella is distinctive from Demencia, at least in that she’s a snotty, racist, childish noblewoman. But-- and I hate to say this-- she is a little overrated too. I could build up more there. But as is, there isn’t much depth. She’s literally had her soul sucked out. I could definitely play that angle up. But I don’t find her sympathetic like I do with Tiffany, Demencia, or even someone like Harley Quinn.  

Mewtwo (pokemon)- yes you read right. Back in the day, Mewtwo was my favorite pokemon, before I got an Umbreon in gen 2 that won me over. But anyways, Mewtwo’s story always called to me. Because clones and too much power, am I right? Only reason i’m considering cutting is I don’t know if I could do him justice. I’ll have to watch the Mewtwo Returns movie and the extra media that I missed over the past years to see if my muse calls to me.

Bonus- Why I won’t play certain muses even though I’d be badass at them.

Harley Quinn (DC Universe)-  Again. Demencia. Frankly I prefer Demencia and also choosing and narrowing down what version of Harley I want to do would be...a pain in the ass and then making her distinctive enough from the psychotic hyper ladies would be another mess of a problem.

Rapunzel (Tangled)- I found Rapunzel in Tangled similar to Anna. Not in a bad way, mind you. But everything I get from playing Anna is what I need. Rapunzel might be more of the same.

Black Hat (Villainous)- Simply because I have an OC (which i created before Villainous btw) that’s so similar in personality and occupation to Black Hat that it’d be like playing him in an au. And that’d be just weird!lol

There’s some late night rambling and decision making for us. Hope you enjoyed it! <3

[claudia-kishi]

for the question thingy, andi mack, superstore, elementary, dark matter, queen sugar, the good place :)

wow THX ANON i’m gonna save superstore for the other ask i got so it won’t be all in one thing lol

btw the i’m in trouble with i’m assuming like. we’re in trouble together not we’re in trouble with each other if u know what i mean lol

andi mack

the character i love: BEX MACK

the character i hate: amber 

the character i would call if i was in trouble: ??? idk???? help

the character who i’m in trouble with: bex definitely 

the character i would trust to plan my birthday party: BEX 

the character i would share fries with: BUFFY my child 

the character who would be my best friend: bex............

the character i would hang out with on a rainy day: andi!!! we would craft all the time a good day

elementary

the character i love: joan watson

the character i hate: mycrosoft 

the character i would call if i was in trouble: honestly sherlock lmao solve my problems 

the character who i’m in trouble with: sherlock probably

the character i would trust to plan my birthday party: joan please momther plan my birthday party 

the character i would share fries with: marcus 

the character who would be my best friend: mY #1 MOMTHER JOAN WATSON

the character i would hang out with on a rainy day: joan watson please and thanks

dark matter

the character i love: two

the character i hate: ONE WAS THE WORST THANK GOD HE IS DEAD

the character i would call if i was in trouble: two

the character who i’m in trouble with: android hehe 

the character i would trust to plan my birthday party: hmmmmmm five or six 

the character i would share fries with: two because i want to give her my fries 

the character who would be my best friend: TWO 

the character i would hang out with on a rainy day: i wanna say four once so i’m saying four he can teach me how to fight hell ya

queen sugar

the character i love: not 2 b dramatique but CHARLEY!!!!!! MY FAVEST!!!!!

the character i hate: davis can die 

the character i would call if i was in trouble: charley but also i’d feel bad because........ she juST WANTS SOMEONE TO HELP HER BC SHE’S ALWAYS FIXING EVERYBODY ELSE’S PROBLEMS + HER OWN AND I’M SAD 

the character who i’m in trouble with: honestly idk lol 

the character i would trust to plan my birthday party: aunt vi!!! GIVE ME THE GOOD FOOD 

the character i would share fries with: nova!!!!!!!

the character who would be my best friend: nova!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the character i would hang out with on a rainy day: nova!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the good place

the character i love: CHIDI MY LOVE 

the character i hate: michael i guess lmao but also?????? idk haha 

the character i would call if i was in trouble: eleanor lmao

the character who i’m in trouble with: ... also eleanor probably too 

the character i would trust to plan my birthday party: TAHANI 

the character i would share fries with: jason we would be chill 

the character who would be my best friend: CHIDI 

the character i would hang out with on a rainy day: CHIDI i love chidi oh wow

send me a show, and i’ll answer these questions!

[givenchy1stface]

How could they do Queen C like that?

So I have been a long time BtVS fan since I was a wee bitty kid and it first aired on the WB. I have never been a fan of Angel the character so I didn’t really watch the spin-off however 13 years after Angel ended I decided to give it a chance thinking it would add on to my Buffy knowledge of plotlines- and it did! I also wanted to give this show a chance because well, I love Love LOVE Cordelia Chase! Now that I am midway season 5 of Angel- oh my fucking gosh I am at a loss for words. Let me collect my ranting words and beware spoilers ahead:

Cordelia deserved better, so much fucking better! She is an og character since season 1 of the original series and the writers/producers/Joss just cast her aside like some random day-player. How could you shit on Cordelia’s legacy like that??? You’re Welcome was a great episode and a great jumping off point to reintroduce Cordelia back into the series but no, yall wrote her off and cast her aside like day old stale bagels. And to add insult to injury there is no mourning, no heartbreak no intense reactions of her death from the others in the following episode? WHAT?! Like really no funeral scene?! No grief-stricken reactions from Fred, Gunn, Wes, or HARMONY aka Cordy’s longtime frenemy?! Joss could have totally redemeed himself from the stupid Connor/Jasmine plotline from the previous season but NOOOOOO the way Cordelias exit was treated was very spiteful and it felt very petty and personal against Charisma Carpenter. I really feel like the writers and Joss fucked up big time with Cordelia in the end. Cordelia was a symbol of pure feminism, she had power and strength and even though she was not a slayer she still exhibited these powerful traits. Like ok, in an earlier season there was an episode where she got impregnated by a demon without her knowledge (which is very traumatic and a metaphor for sexual assault btw) which could have added to Cordelia’s depth and progression as a character and then for the writers/Joss to have Cordelia endure this same plotline in season 4 with Jasmine was very lazy, half-assed, and punitive to Cordelia’s feminist legacy. They made her mute by placing her in a possessed state and then a mystical coma and when the powerful, spitfire Cordelia came back to us in You’e Welcome, the outcome is to kill her off? What a way to spit in our faces Joss. What a horrible message to send to viewers that if a woman is able to stand on her own, assert her will and opinions then she deserves to be punished and killed. I can’t. I CANNOT and I REFUSE to acknowledge this was Cordelia’s end. 

Joss you fucked up big time. Like Joss don’t you have an elsewhere to be? Tact is not saying true stuff. I’ll pass. I’m the nastiest girl in Sunnydale history. I take crap from no one. Oh and, you’re welcome. 

[letteredlettered]

Lettered my queen: why are your fics so funny? There I am, happily reading, when I suddenly lol, and then stare in confusion at the words. Where was the punchline? The set up?? This happened to me many times in ACT, and the requisite Wild and Wired reread after those lovely extra scenes you posted. Example from ACT: *Draco stared at him, and Harry realized that maybe Brazil seemed random. / “That was where it was from,” he explained.* Lettered. Why is this so hilarious?? Why did I laugh so  1/2

hard? I suspect you will be able to explain it perfectly. My best attempt at understanding: it's a lot about 2 people trying and failing at mindreading, but they try SO HARD to communicate anyway. and in that, there's Dramatic Irony, bc you always make sure the reader knows exactly what both are thinking. You also repeat things that become steadily more hilarious, like "skewed frame of reference". idk why it got more and more funny. i think i am owed an explanation for this sorcery. <3 u queen

Thank you! I’m really glad you find my fics funny.

While I love to pick apart writing and analyze why it works the way it does, I’m afraid this isn’t something I can explain perfectly. For one thing, people’s sense of humor varies. I’m not sure I find the thing you quoted particularly funny, just for instance. But since I can’t explain, I’ve written for a bit on my relationship to humor and offered some theories.

I don’t like comedy as a genre. Sitcoms, standup, funny movies--most media designed specifically to make people laugh really turns me off. I think it’s something about the setup--if I know you’re trying to make me laugh, I feel challenged, and being a contrary person, I shall not satisfy your intent. The same is true in person; if I go to standup, or someone says, “Hey, want to see a funny meme? Or hear a joke?” I’ll struggle to laugh.

When people are asked what they are looking for in a partner, the reply is often, “a good sense of humor,” or “they make me laugh.” While this answer is totally fine, I do feel some aversion to its prevalence. Laughter is fine, but wouldn’t it be nice to prioritize good moral character as a society? Shared values? Emotional honesty and kindness? As a result, for a while I went around saying that I didn’t care much about humor, which I apparently posted on Twitter. My gf, before she was my gf, was pretty disappointed about this Tweet, as she loves to laugh, and feared we wouldn’t really get along.

The hilarious part is, I laugh a lot in person, a tremendous amount. I make a lot of jokes, and do many silly things, and am, in general, a very large goof of a person. My gf and I often joke about how unimportant humor is to me, as we find it very funny. I told my girlfriend about this ask, btw, and she was excessively diverted.

I never set out to write humorous things, but I do sometimes write fic for canon that has funny characters. The first canon like that I remember writing for was Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I remember watching episodes of BtVS specifically analyzing the humor, writing down lines I thought were funny, then trying to take them apart to understand what made them funny. A common refrain I found in BtVS was the use of idiomatic and common phrases, but with different endings, or added parts. The reason this is funny, as far as I can tell, is an expectation is set up by that which is familiar; when the expectation is not met, there is a dissonance that results in humor.

For example:

“I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away.” – Xander

“They were supposed to be my light at the end of the tunnel. I guess they were a train.” – Buffy

“Just because you’re better than us doesn’t mean you can be all superior.” – Xander

The repetition you mentioned actually employs this marriage of the familiar and unexpected. Once the phrase is used, it becomes familiar; then, if it is repeated in unexpected places, it can be amusing.

A commenter once mentioned that the repetition of the word “stricken” at the very beginning of Away Childish Things was amusing to them. I found this interesting, because my beta had suggested I remove the final use of that word in the first draft. I agreed with her, and so that final use was--you guessed it--stricken. I think that if I had not deleted the final usage the repetition would have been overdone and not nearly so effective. If you repeat something too many times, then it is no longer unexpected. If it is used too few times, it is not familiar enough. If it is used in the wrong place, the juxtaposition of the familiar and unexpected will not speak to each other. Therefore, timing is also important.

You’ll note in the quoted phrases above that the familiar part is short, as is the unexpected. This is so that the familiar juxtaposes very quickly against the unexpected, so you don’t have time for your expectation to change. “I laugh in the face of danger. But I do find it frightening, so then I hide until it goes away,” is not as funny, because “I do find it frightening” eases us into a new expectation in a gentler way. (Timing doesn’t always have to be quick to be funny. Sometimes things are funny simply by virtue of being long, for various reasons. Sometimes the length itself is unexpected, which makes a line/story funny.)

I think these reasons are why I tend to find comedic media and anything that is purposely trying to make me laugh unfunny. A joke that has a set up means a punchline is expected, and even if the content is unexpected, the formula and timing are too familiar for me to really feel amused. But real life is a morass with the familiar sprinkled with the unexpected, which I think is why I am, in general, so often laughing and making jokes. As you state in your example, Draco and Harry are attempting to communicate, but they cannot guess what is actually in the other’s mind. Since people are never able to enter each other’s minds, but do try to predict, an expectation is set up, and then when people behave like humans and do/say something completely different, if the timing is also right, it’s hilarious.

My writing--and my life, honestly--circles around the fact that we try but can never really understand any mind but our own (and sometimes we don’t even understand our own). Since I’m so often writing about the familiar (your own mind) meeting the unexpected (the rest of the world), it makes sense that sometimes when the timing is sharp, it results in something people find funny.

I think the line you pulled out is probably funny for exactly the reason you state. We are familiar with what Draco must be thinking--he is impressed that Harry was so powerful at such a young age. We also think we are familiar with what Harry is thinking, because we’re in his head. But due to timing, the reader has actually jumped into Draco’s head and is thinking about what Draco must be thinking, such that the sudden insertion of Harry’s assumption is unexpected.

[type40thiefoflight]

My thoughts on BBC Dracula

This got longer than I expected so here’s a read-more.

Episode 1:

The jump-cuts reminded me of Jekyll, another show by Stephen Moffat

In one scene of Dracula biting Jonathan, he looked like Christopher Lee=nice!

I loved the whole scene at the convent when Dracula tore his way through the wolf and Agatha teased him with her blood. But as cool as the transformation was, it seemed like a really impractical way to shapeshift if he has to go through that every time.

Why was Dracula suddenly so willing to kill Jonathan after finally catching up to him?

Self-digs at vamp lore: they work but no-one knows why and say they don’t make sense and are ridiculous.

Lots of parallels with Sherlock:

The theme song sounds like the Sherlock one slowed down.

the spiral staircase in Castle Dracula looks like the one from Sherlock’s mind palace.

“Help me” gets reflected in the window like “Get Sherlock”

“Johnny, there is no baby” = Moriarty convincing people he’s Richard Brooke and Sherlock’s a fake, also a hint that Rosie isn’t real?

Dracula convincing Jonathan to write the letters and manipulating him like Moriarty with the people strapped to the bombs and Eurus with the prison guards

Jonathan gets trapped with a baby by a woman who can get out of her prison like John getting trapped in the well by Eurus (that baby looked really freaky, btw)

Dracula’s blasé attitude to death like Moriarty, calls Jonathan “Johnny”

“I have a detective acquaintance in London” really?!

Sister Agatha is basically fem!Sherlock

Mina is Molly, sort-of helpful to Agatha but mostly useless

Episode 2:

Loved all the food puns

He’s such a messy eater, no wonder he needs to feed on so many people.

When Olgaren asks Piotr/Martin what he thinks of his first time at sea, Martin should have said, “needs paprika.”

Did they really need to add a token secret gay couple just to kill them off? I know Dracula killed everyone anyway but that seemed like fake representation.

How did he get to England from the box without his home soil?

Not too much to say on this one. It was a fun locked-room murder mystery with lots of food puns and a fresh take on part of the story that never gets elaborated on. I initially didn’t like the modern ending but warmed up to the idea in the third episode.

More Sherlock similarities:

Captain Anderson, I mean, Sokolov

Utilizing a mind palace to solve a mystery (Agatha finding out who the passenger in no. 9 is and the case of the abominable bride)

the chessboard

Agatha realizing she’s in a dream

 Episode 3:

How does he know it’s a camera?

Why does he care about the girl smiling so much?

He knows how to use a video camera, tv remote, and faucet but not a refrigerator or electric lights?

Why is the knowledge he assimilates from his victims selective? Plot device.

Is he scared of the sun because he drinks from people who believe that, like with the crosses?

Is his immediate knowledge of using a phone from Bob?

Why did they transition to another shot of the portrait, couldn’t they have just zoomed in?

Jack Seward’s Shining wallpaper

Why is Lucy so superficially shallow?

Did he get the name for cancer from Bob too? He’s just pulling knowledge out of his ass at this point.

He’s had cancerous blood before but only reacted strongly to Zoe’s?

Super-secret organization can’t come up with a better password and gives him a wifi-enabled device?

How did he figure out wifi, skyping and hiring a lawyer over the internet that fast?

Wtf?! Why did Zoe drink his blood?!

Did her drinking his blood make her possessed by Agatha’s blood ghost?

Why so many time skips?

Why does Dracula need a treadmill? He’s an immortal vampire with supernaturally enhanced stamina, he doesn’t need to exercise. He looks weird in work-out clothes.

Lucy’s so chill with Dracula being a vampire and feeding on other people.

What happened to appearing to her in her sleep as mist?

What’s with her blasé attitude towards death?

“Children of the night. What music they make.” is supposed to be about wolves, not not-quite vampires knocking on their coffins in a cemetery.

Wtf is with the zombie kid?

Renfield needs to be weirder than just eating one fly in the car.

Does Lucy’s gay friend have a name? He didn’t die so... yay, I guess?

Lucy’s a social media influencer?

I don’t like the floor in Zoe’s hospital room.

Wow, Quincey’s a dick.

I don’t know how I feel about Lucy’s cremation rather than her book death.

Okay, so I was right Zoe drinking Agatha’s blood ghost.

Why does Dracula see himself as old and Lucy see herself as beautiful in mirrors?

They burn up Buffy-style? That’s not how it happens in the book. If that how it works, how could Dracula wear Jonathan’s skin? Did he flay him then stake him?

I like that Zoe’s shirt is the same color blue as Agatha’s dress.

The painting of the Sun is really neat.

Wow he really is a drama queen, huh.

Not sure I understand the explanation as for why Dracula couldn’t be in sunlight.

Love the visual of him walking to the sun through the crosses of the window.

The cancerous blood wasn’t deadly to him before it was Zoe’s or was it just that he didn’t drink enough to have that effect?

Well that was a dumb ending; he realizes the sun can’t hurt him so he immediately commits suicide? No, that’s stupid. Why the sex dream for Zoe? There’s no attraction there from either her or Agatha so what’s the point?

Zoe hosting Agatha’s blood ghost shares another slight similarity to Jekyll: Dr. Jekyll’s descendant is married to a woman who turns out to be the clone of Dr. Jekyll’s maid.

I liked that both Agatha and Zoe tried to beat Dracula right before they died in a fiery explosion.

Even More Sherlock comparisons:

Harker foundation is UNIT/Sherrinford prison/Moriarty’s holding cell

Blood-fueled deductions about people, good thing Sherlock’s human

“You don’t have to talk a lot of shit.” “You know, people don’t usually say that to me.” “Yeah, you kill them before they can. Basically, you’re blocking people.”= “Brilliant.” “People don’t usually say that to me.” “What do they usually say?” “Piss off.”

All in all, I enjoyed the series more than I expected to. The first episode felt like a season recap, maybe because it was told mostly through flashbacks. The second one felt the strongest because it was a part of the book that no one adapts and the writers got the chance to fill in the gaps however they wanted. The third episode started off all right but had a weak ending.

What they left out/changed from the book: so, so much.

What they left out/changed that I can remember:

garlands of garlic help ward off vampires

staking only immobilizes them, to kill them you need to stake them first then behead them

Dracula is affected by sunlight

He is not Vlad Dracula Tsepes, prince of Wallachia (auto-correct wanted me to write Appalachia)

Renfield is way more obsessed: “The blood is the life,” eats food chains

Mina and Lucy are great friends

Lucy kills children to eat and is seen wandering graveyards in her burial dress

Dracula has more control over himself when faced with blood

He’s not a snarky jerk

Neither is Quincey

Obviously they genderbent Dr. Van Helsing

“Children of the night. What music they make.” is supposed to be about wolves, not not-quite vampires knocking on their coffins in a cemetery!

I’m sure there’s more but that’s what I can remember off the top of my head. It’s been a few years since I’ve read the book.