#bur gur

[mtsodie]

But would Yellow enjoy... Bunger

i think he would devour that shit . my cat is fascinated by this gif

[p1nkc4lyps0]

yeah can I get aaaaaauuuuuuhhhh. bur gur.

based on this video by @lucabyte and this image [under the cut]

[doppel-dean-er]

Hamp bur gur

[pathologising]

I ĴUST WANT BUR GUR

[444namesplus]

abl aci acr age aid aki ala all als alt ami ana ann ant ape arc are arm ato aun aur aut avi awa axi bab bac bai bak bal ban bar bas bat bea bec bee bel ben bes bet bia bik bil bin bir bit ble blo blu boa bod boi bol bom bon boo bor bos bot bou bow bra bre bro buc bul bum bur bus but buz caf cag cak cal cam can cap car cas cav cel cen cha che chi cho cit cla cli clu coa coc cod coi cok col com con coo cop cor cos cou cov cra cre cro cub cul cur cut dal dam dar das dat daw day dea deb dec dee del dem den des dia dic die dir dis div doc doe dol dom don doo dos dov dow dra dre dro dru dua duc duf duk dul dum dus dut eac ear eas eat ech edg edi els env epi eur eve evi exa exi exp eye fac fad fai fak fal fam far fas fat fea fee fel fil fin fir fis fiv fla fle fli flo flu foa foi fol fon foo for fou fre fro fuc fue ful fun fur fus gai gal gam gan gat gav gaz gea gen gif gil gir giv gla gle glo glu goa goe gol gon goo gor gow gra gre gri gro gul gur hai hal han har hat hau hav haw hea hee hei hel her hid hig hik hil hin hir hol hom hoo hop hor hos hou hug hul hun hur hyp ico ide idl ido inc inf int iri iro isl ite jac jai jak jan jav jaz jea jee jil joe joh joi jok jos jum jun jur jus kee kem ken kep kha kic kil kin kir kis kit kne kni kno koh kyl lac lad lai lak lam lan las lat lav law laz lea lef len les lev lie lif lik lil lim lin lio lis liv loa loc lof log lon loo lor los lou lov luc lum lun lur lus mad mai mak mal mam man mar mas mat may maz mea mee meg mel mem men mer mes mic mik mil min mis moc mod mol mon moo mor mos mov muc mus myt nai nam nav nea nec nee nes new nex nic nin nod non noo nor nos not nov nud nut oat obe odd odo oka onc onl ont ope ora ott our ova ove pac pag pai pal pap par pas pat pea pec pee pes pic pie pik pil pin pip pit pla ple plo plu poe pol pon poo pop por pos pou pra pre pro pul pum pun pur pus qui rac rag rai ram ran rap rar ras rat rav rea ree rel ren res ric rid rin rio rip ris rit roa roc rod rol roo rop ros rub rud rui rul rus rut sac saf sag sai sak sal sam san sav sca sco sea see sel sem sen sep sex sha she shi sho shu sic sid sig sil sin sit siz ski sla sli slo sna sno soa sod sof soi sol som son soo sor sou spa spi spo spu sta ste sti sto suc sui sun sur swa swi tac tai tak tal tan tap tas tax tea tec tee tel ten ter tes tex tha the thi tho thu tic tid tie til tim tin tir tob tol tom ton too top tor tos tou tow tra tre tri tro tru tub tuc tun tur twi typ ugl uni upo urg use vai var vas vei ver ves vet vic vie vin vis voi vot wad wag wai wak wal wan war was wat wav way wea wee wel wen wer wes wha whe whi who wid wif wil win wip wir wis wit wok wol woo wor wra yan yar yea you yua zer zin zon zoo

[elainapendragon]

Pronunciation Guide:

Drakabloð Sögur: DRAK-ah-BLODTH SOH-gur

Valhöll: VAL-holl

Alfheimr: ALV-hey-MUR

Ljósalfar: LYOS-al-VAR

Dökkalfar: DOCK-al-VAR

Svartalfheimr: SVART-alv-hey-MUR

Svartalfar: SVART-al-VAR

Íssalfar: EES-al-VAR

Jötúnheimr: YOET-oon-hey-MUR

Hýrralfar: HYEER-al-VAR

Múspellheimr: MOOS-pell-hey-MUR

Skögralfar: SKO-gur-al-VAR

Grœnnfell: GROEN-vell

Vanír: VAN-eer

Vanaheimr: VAN-a-hey-MUR

Þokalfar: THOK-al-VAR

Nídavellír: NEE-da-VELL-eer

Nærnin: NAYR-nin

Seiðberendr: SAYDTH-ba-REN-dur

Seiðragaldr: SAYDTH-ra-GAL-dur

Fafnir: FOV-neer

Vaeryn Téhlladen: VAY-rin TAY-la-DEN

Zephysus: ZEH-fi-SUS

Höddgardr: HOD-gar-DUR

Kuningaz Xekaara: KOO-ning-GAHZ za-KAR-ah

Raameshaz: rah-MEH-shaz

Hemaara: HEY-mar-AH

Zou’maal: zoo-MAHL

Ne’daag: NAY-dahg

Tal’mar: tal-MAR

Friðrs: fridth-THURS

Iilr: EEL-urs

Bilfjord Beast: bil-FYORD beest

Skjelkii: SKYEL-key

Fjorlagforað: fyor-LAG-vor-ADTHS

Nornadäg: NORN-uh-DAHG

Súnadäg: SOON-uh-DAHG

Múnadäg: MOON-uh-DAHG

Týrsadäg: TEERS-uh-DAHG

Wodensdäg: WO-dens-DAHG

Thorsadäg: THORS-uh-DAHG

Friggsadäg: FREEGS-uh-DAHG

Niflheimr: NIFL-hey-MUR

Hvergelmír: HVER-gel-MEER

Elivagar: EL-iv-AH-gar

Svöll: SVOL

Gúnnthra: GOON-thra

Fjörm: FYORM

Fimbulthúl: fim-BUL-thool

Slíd: SLEED

Hríd: HREED

Sylg: SILG

Ylg: ILG

Vid: VEED

Leipt: LAYPT

Gjöll: GYOLL

Ginnúngagap: GI-noon-GA-gahp

Ymir: EE-meer

Aurgelmír: ARE-gel-MEER

Audhumla: ODD-hum-LAH

Buri: BUR-ee

Börr: BOR

Bergelmir: BER-gel-MEER

Ask: OSK

Embla: em-BLAH

Sol: SOL

Mani: MAHN-ee

Bil: BEEL

Hjuki: HYOO-kee

Hati: HAH-tee

Sköll: SKOLL

Yggdrasíl: IGG-dra-SEEL

Hraesvelg: HRAYS-velg

Nídhöggr: NEED-hog-UR

Ratatösk: RAT-at-OSK

Modsognir: MOD-sog-NIR

Durin: DUR-in

Æsír: AY-seer

Frey: FRAY

Valfreyja: VAL-frey-YAH

Heimdallr: HEYM-dall-UR

Bïfröst: BIE-frost

Baldr: BAL-dur

Nänna: NAHN-nah

Ragnarök: RAG-nah-ROHK

Fimbulvetr: FIM-bul-VEYTR

Fenrisúlfr: FEN-ris-OOL-fur

Jörmúngandr: YORE-moon-GAHN-dar

Naglfar: NAHGL-var

Vígrid: VEE-grid

Gjállarhorn: GYAE-lar-HORN

Einherjar/Einherjerii: AIN-her-YAR/AIN-her-YAER-ee

Valhalla: VAL-hall-AH

Surtr: SUR-tur

Líf: LEEF

Lífthrasir: LEEF-thray-SEER

Gimlé: gim-LAY

Brimir: BREE-meer

Okolnír: oh-KOL-neer

Sindri: SIN-dree

Nidafjöll: NEED-ah-FYOL

Nastrond: nas-TROND

Drekivörðr: DREK-ee-VOR-dthur

Vandr: VAHN-dur

Rígurd: REE-gurd

Dögúl: DOH-gool

Bïfröstblaða: BIE-frost-BLADTH-ah

Sígarsholm: SEE-gars-HOLM

Galdyrbrynja: GAL-dur-BRIN-ya

Gleipnír: GLEYP-neer

Ellída: el-LEE-da

Vaettrhaerr: VAY-tur-HAYR

Izana: AYE-zan-AH

Fjörr: FYOR

Byardölf: BYARD-olv

Jarnir: YAR-neer

Alfhildr: ALV-hil-DUR

Rúnhildr: ROON-hil-DUR

Hildegardr: HIL-de-GAR-dur

Jarl: YARL

Skídbladnír: SKEED-blahd-NEER

Hneflagi: HNE-flah-GEE

Myennr: MYEH-nur

Keifdel Drekínalen: CAVE-dell drek-EE-nah-LEN

Vedthrelta: VED-thur-EL-tah

Lydia: lid-AYE-ah

Feldûrröst: fel-DOO-rost

Fjoðrbrandr: FYO-dthur-BRAN-dur

Asbjorn: AZ-bjorn

Zazyr: ZAZ-ur

Hráfnfär: HRAE-vin-VAR

Valdyrbjalla: VAL-dyur-BYAL-ah

Dàlr: DAH-lur

Múfnir: MOOV-neer

Ylette: YIL-ett

Reiyr: RAI-ur

Denris: DEN-ris

Laefden: LAYF-den

Alyr: AH-lyur

W’ei: wuh-AY

Aallviinaax: ALL-vee-NAX

Norðrljós: NOR-dthur-LYOS

Bleiðarak: BLIE-tha-RAK

Ornúsüm: OR-noo-ZOOM

Iirvaedín: ur-VAY-deen

Araelys: uh-RAY-lis

Ómakligr: OO-mok-LEE-gur

Eljúðnir: ael-YOODTH-neer

[444names]

MYSTERY POST #27

Abang Abank Ace Act Adina Aggs Ake Alic Als Altý Amote Angný Ango Ank Antín Anía Aptal Araug Ard Areno Ark Arkay Arlex Artur Aríma Ashi Aslon Astur Aug Augir Auta Axi Azuer Aðal Bad. Bake Bala Ball Ban Bana Banco Band Bang Bangi Bank Banka Banks Bar Barle Basm Beasi Becia Beig Beld Bels Ber Berme Berp Betin Bfium Bia Bin Bjank Blir Bnite Bnpip Boode Bora Borp Borsý Bra Braf Brat Bria Brán Bur Burg Burn Cada Cake Can Car Cara Cato Caur Ces Chank Chela Chill Chily Cia Clank Clau Clo Copan Corp Cra Crou Cýr Darga Decap Dera Des Dins Don Dout Dran Durg Dus Ebank Ecum Edank Efnk Ego Eivar Eli Ell Eltar Emer Emsl End Erg Ert Euwa Eval Evoup Eya Eyn Fen Fin Fing Fingi Fjinn Fjóa Fjón Flon Fnia Foney Forp Foup Fra Frel Fria Frí Frími Fríði Fur Fán Fánna Gar Gatip Gawa Gein Gela Gend Ger Gern Gism Glon Grour Gráð Grína Gtlas Gund Gur Gurla Gurt Gurík Gus Gíne Günta Haf Hank Har Heif Heir Heis Heism Helin Hemet Hen Henes Hia Hig Hil Hilld Himur Hinn Hjá Hjörn Hlema Hlöð Hobur Hoca Holla Hols Hon Hoph Hou Hri Hrún Humon Hypto Hía Hólf Hólfe Höð Húgói Iband Ich Inbe Ind Ingba Inism Inn Ino Ins Inz Ira Iric Iwa Jar Jario Jon Jorp Julfa Jup Járvi Jónan Jóngg Jónó Jós Jóðný Jürg Kabal Kaki Kao Kar Kas Kasch Kass Kaza King Kiwa Kjar Kla Kragg Kres Kri Krite Krutz Kuk Kur Lan Laug Lein Leki Liest Ljálf Lum Lía Lúís Mabe Mae Mals Mana Mank Maral Mard May Mell Men Meon Mer Mera Mich Mie Mik Mika Mil Minas Mir Mita Mjay Mong Morp Mosuk Munn Mur Míank Míasa Mörg Nal Nari Neas Nega Ner Neses Nice Nli Norka Nuela Nóey Oda Odent Odi Odo Okird Ommer Omon Onn Org Owa Panla Par Park Pea Perp Pionn Pit Pita Plert Pola Prug Prung Pvcat Pálía Péta Ques Qui Raer Reda Res Rey Ris Ron Rsall Rum Rusug Ríður Saira Sak Salbe Sas Sbank Sch Scorp Sei Sezuk Shan Shand Shar Shia Shinn Shir Sia Sies Sig Sinks Sitow Skus Sla Snja Snsus Sovi Soy Spa Spar Spare Spoch Sta Staka Stank Sudow Sunn Sur Sva Svank Svara Swa Swed Swer Swes Swilí Sydr Tadil Tado Tafn Taki Takur Tank Tar Tatla Tefon Tes Thald Tiali Tibay Tius Ton Tum Tunda Tur Turk Turus Undey Undór Unn Vank Varr Vatau Vindo Vism Vnes Vía Vörns Wajar Walný Wesla Wingi Wyo Yank Yna Yoka Yorp Zair Zake Zenn Álaug Ásban Ægi Ísa Örno Úliv Þjón Þor Þorg Þorp Þyr Þyrel Þóras Þória Ōdank Ōfur

[brandonwayneb]

war, and zero white shits

exalted /ig-zawl-tid /

adjective

1 raised or elevated, as in rank or character; of high station:

an exalted personage.

2 noble or elevated; lofty:

an exalted style of writing.

3 rapturously excited.

zenith

I zee-nith or, especially British, zen-ith /

noun

1 the point on the celestial sphere vertically above a given position or observer.

Compare nadir.

2 a highest point or state; culmination.

Now you maynor see why I always come across as high impact energy,

however, Im quite exhausted, and of pen point accuracy, I require physical realignment of my physical body, after endurance many assaults from white war criminals in terrorism regimes.

I am a hero.

however I am professionally wounded physically, causes spasms and speech issues.

specially of my “collar bone”

“clavicle” and astral assaults from white abuse clerics, “node nine church nun”

“Bur Gur Lore Eye Zim”

death threats, and assassination attempts from white forces guised at “medieval war clerics”

“Eric, and Nick”

mass terrorism from white races “mormon, hebrew, paganism”

however subtle differences between Pa Ga, paganism, and Wicca

white forces care only for power, and “dye gye” “criminal digest, subvert crime tampers, hero and villain roles used as games and score panels, assassainations history snipers” pure blood

talks of envy in soul forms,

celestial chords, celestial bodies

liberations of white lab racial diseases

Zenith, highest energy or state

Exalted, highest energy or state

white death, mass assassinations

wars of Roe Tea, Roe Lore

“Royalty” wars, Rank wars, alphabet schemes

white envy groups, “environmental encyclopedia”

white dna disease banks.

the fallout of the white race

Pure Racism

Pure Terrorism

wars of why ANYONE works, or doesn’t just shoot every illegal white in hostile occupations.

Chessboards, white assassinations

Stye

Wic

Jessica

Rivera

I require physical bone realignment to protect myself from further white race assaults

I have scheduled plans for a “chiropractor”

however I will keep zero tolerance com with white races.

specially of the mentions of Medieval war power link “nodes”

specially crossed between protection of ALL lives, asain, indian, and so on,

NOT the HOG ball of white shit.

and the war tactics of mass deflection.

read as many times as useful

Celestial Ace Accords,

Celestial Zenith Bodies of ecstasy and pure, heavenly light

Zero white shit wars. labor blood banks

Stye

Wic

Jessica

Rivera

Little Girl 12

[desitenya]

i need a burger so bad.

[thecrazyworldbuilder]

Just some random pseudo-norse syllables

Perhaps just take two random syllables to create a nordic/scandinavian inspired name. Serndul, Binfern, Varslyn...

bal bam ban bar barl barm barn barr bars bart bas bel bem ben ber berl berm bern berr bers bert bes bil bim bin bir birl birm birn birr birs birt bis bjal bjam bjan bjar bjas bjel bjem bjen bjer bjes bjil bjim bjin bjir bjis bjol bjom bjon bjor bjos bjul bjum bjun bjur bjus bol bom bon bor borl borm born borr bors bort bos bral bram bran brar bras brel brem bren brer bres bril brim brin brir bris brol brom bron bror bros brul brum brun brur brus bryl brym bryn bryr brys bul bum bun bur burl burm burn burr burs burt bus byl bym byn byr byrl byrm byrn byrr byrs byrt bys dal dam dan dar darl darm darn darr dars dart das del dem den der derl derm dern derr ders dert des dil dim din dir dirl dirm dirn dirr dirs dirt dis dol dom don dor dorl dorm dorn dorr dors dort dos dul dum dun dur durl durm durn durr durs durt dus dyl dym dyn dyr dyrl dyrm dyrn dyrr dyrs dyrt dys fal fam fan far farl farm farn farr fars fart fas fel fem fen fer ferl ferm fern ferr fers fert fes fil fim fin fir firl firm firn firr firs firt fis fjal fjam fjan fjar fjas fjel fjem fjen fjer fjes fjil fjim fjin fjir fjis fjol fjom fjon fjor fjos fjul fjum fjun fjur fjus fol fom fon for forl form forn forr fors fort fos fral fram fran frar fras frel frem fren frer fres fril frim frin frir fris frol from fron fror fros frul frum frun frur frus fryl frym fryn fryr frys ful fum fun fur furl furm furn furr furs furt fus fyl fym fyn fyr fyrl fyrm fyrn fyrr fyrs fyrt fys gal gam gan gar garl garm garn garr gars gart gas gel gem gen ger gerl germ gern gerr gers gert ges gil gim gin gir girl girm girn girr girs girt gis gol gom gon gor gorl gorm gorn gorr gors gort gos gul gum gun gur gurl gurm gurn gurr gurs gurt gus gyl gym gyn gyr gyrl gyrm gyrn gyrr gyrs gyrt gys hal ham han har harl harm harn harr hars hart has hel hem hen her herl herm hern herr hers hert hes hil him hin hir hirl hirm hirn hirr hirs hirt his hjal hjam hjan hjar hjas hjel hjem hjen hjer hjes hjil hjim hjin hjir hjis hjol hjom hjon hjor hjos hjul hjum hjun hjur hjus hol hom hon hor horl horm horn horr hors hort hos hral hram hran hrar hras hrel hrem hren hrer hres hril hrim hrin hrir hris hrol hrom hron hror hros hrul hrum hrun hrur hrus hryl hrym hryn hryr hrys hul hum hun hur hurl hurm hurn hurr hurs hurt hus hyl hym hyn hyr hyrl hyrm hyrn hyrr hyrs hyrt hys kal kam kan kar karl karm karn karr kars kart kas kel kem ken ker kerl kerm kern kerr kers kert kes kil kim kin kir kirl kirm kirn kirr kirs kirt kis kjal kjam kjan kjar kjas kjel kjem kjen kjer kjes kjil kjim kjin kjir kjis kjol kjom kjon kjor kjos kjul kjum kjun kjur kjus kol kom kon kor korl korm korn korr kors kort kos kral kram kran krar kras krel krem kren krer kres kril krim krin krir kris krol krom kron kror kros krul krum krun krur krus kryl krym kryn kryr krys kul kum kun kur kurl kurm kurn kurr kurs kurt kus kyl kym kyn kyr kyrl kyrm kyrn kyrr kyrs kyrt kys lal lam lan lar larl larm larn larr lars lart las lel lem len ler lerl lerm lern lerr lers lert les lil lim lin lir lirl lirm lirn lirr lirs lirt lis lol lom lon lor lorl lorm lorn lorr lors lort los lul lum lun lur lurl lurm lurn lurr lurs lurt lus lyl lym lyn lyr lyrl lyrm lyrn lyrr lyrs lyrt lys mal mam man mar marl marm marn marr mars mart mas mel mem men mer merl merm mern merr mers mert mes mil mim min mir mirl mirm mirn mirr mirs mirt mis mol mom mon mor morl morm morn morr mors mort mos mul mum mun mur murl murm murn murr murs murt mus myl mym myn myr myrl myrm myrn myrr myrs myrt mys

nal nam nan nar narl narm narn narr nars nart nas nel nem nen ner nerl nerm nern nerr ners nert nes nil nim nin nir nirl nirm nirn nirr nirs nirt nis nol nom non nor norl norm norn norr nors nort nos nul num nun nur nurl nurm nurn nurr nurs nurt nus nyl nym nyn nyr nyrl nyrm nyrn nyrr nyrs nyrt nys pal pam pan par parl parm parn parr pars part pas pel pem pen per perl perm pern perr pers pert pes pil pim pin pir pirl pirm pirn pirr pirs pirt pis pol pom pon por porl porm porn porr pors port pos pul pum pun pur purl purm purn purr purs purt pus pyl pym pyn pyr pyrl pyrm pyrn pyrr pyrs pyrt pys ral ram ran rar rarl rarm rarn rarr rars rart ras rel rem ren rer rerl rerm rern rerr rers rert res ril rim rin rir rirl rirm rirn rirr rirs rirt ris rjal rjam rjan rjar rjas rjel rjem rjen rjer rjes rjil rjim rjin rjir rjis rjol rjom rjon rjor rjos rjul rjum rjun rjur rjus rol rom ron ror rorl rorm rorn rorr rors rort ros rral rram rran rrar rras rrel rrem rren rrer rres rril rrim rrin rrir rris rrol rrom rron rror rros rrul rrum rrun rrur rrus rryl rrym rryn rryr rrys rul rum run rur rurl rurm rurn rurr rurs rurt rus ryl rym ryn ryr ryrl ryrm ryrn ryrr ryrs ryrt rys sal sam san sar sarl sarm sarn sarr sars sart sas sel sem sen ser serl serm sern serr sers sert ses sil sim sin sir sirl sirm sirn sirr sirs sirt sis sjal sjam sjan sjar sjas sjel sjem sjen sjer sjes sjil sjim sjin sjir sjis sjol sjom sjon sjor sjos sjul sjum sjun sjur sjus sol som son sor sorl sorm sorn sorr sors sort sos sral sram sran srar sras srel srem sren srer sres sril srim srin srir sris srol srom sron sror sros srul srum srun srur srus sryl srym sryn sryr srys sul sum sun sur surl surm surn surr surs surt sus syl sym syn syr syrl syrm syrn syrr syrs syrt sys tal tam tan tar tarl tarm tarn tarr tars tart tas tel tem ten ter terl term tern terr ters tert tes til tim tin tir tirl tirm tirn tirr tirs tirt tis tol tom ton tor torl torm torn torr tors tort tos tul tum tun tur turl turm turn turr turs turt tus tyl tym tyn tyr tyrl tyrm tyrn tyrr tyrs tyrt tys val vam van var varl varm varn varr vars vart vas vel vem ven ver verl verm vern verr vers vert ves vil vim vin vir virl virm virn virr virs virt vis vol vom von vor vorl vorm vorn vorr vors vort vos vul vum vun vur vurl vurm vurn vurr vurs vurt vus vyl vym vyn vyr vyrl vyrm vyrn vyrr vyrs vyrt vys wal wam wan war warl warm warn warr wars wart was wel wem wen wer werl werm wern werr wers wert wes wil wim win wir wirl wirm wirn wirr wirs wirt wis wol wom won wor worl worm worn worr wors wort wos wul wum wun wur wurl wurm wurn wurr wurs wurt wus wyl wym wyn wyr wyrl wyrm wyrn wyrr wyrs wyrt wys zal zam zan zar zarl zarm zarn zarr zars zart zas zel zem zen zer zerl zerm zern zerr zers zert zes zil zim zin zir zirl zirm zirn zirr zirs zirt zis zol zom zon zor zorl zorm zorn zorr zors zort zos zul zum zun zur zurl zurm zurn zurr zurs zurt zus zyl zym zyn zyr zyrl zyrm zyrn zyrr zyrs zyrt zys

[mtsodie]

you must draw... stain and special one... enjoying a burger...

BUR ! GUR !

[archetypal-archivist]

My Beloved, Penis

Fuck it. I was infected by Penis SMP by @demonboyhalo reblogging a bunch of it and the lack of consistent lore bugged me, so I somehow banged out 2000+ words of fanfic about the Penis SMP and how it got started. Lots of internet humor and classic MInecraft shenanigans in this one folks. *slaps roof* This baby can fit so much crack treated seriously, lol. This is also up on my AO3, Zazibine, if you would prefer to read it there.

_-_-_-_

It was never supposed to get so big. It was just an SMP with a couple friends of his he had met from the Hypixel discord server, where he had logged on simply to trash talk the absolute asshole who had dared to kill him last minute in bedwars, only to stumble upon said asshole- going under the name shittyfartbaby69 of all things- complaining to his girlfriend(?) Milfboss in the voice chat. Thirty minutes later of awkward hellos and the manliest of bitching at each other (with Milf chiming in every once in a while to roast them both), and PenisUnavailable had perhaps his first Minecraft friend in, like, forever.

Then Admiral_Anus had entered chat, bitching about his competitor in ABBA Mining and his bullshit bad luck and the whole process repeated. By the end of the day, Penis had three new friends, a private discord server for the four of them, and a promise to meet up with them in Hypixel next Sunday for the ultimate round of bedwars.

The game went spectacularly. Somehow, Admiral had some of the best bridging skills any of them had ever seen, and between Milfboss' terrifying Scottish screaming and pvp and Shitty with his clutch TNT skills, the three of them almost made up for Penis' awful depth perception. They still lost around forty percent of their games, but that was certainly better than Penis' own abysmal record, not helped with his habit of walking off the edge at inconvenient times.

And it was... fun. Usually bedwars was just him playing in his bedroom alone for an hour before he rage-quit and went back to survival for a bit before he died to fall damage and rage quit that too. But shittyfartbaby69 would crack dirty jokes that he'd never even heard of before, and Milfboss would roast him for looking it up on reddit and Shitty would cuss her out as he tried to prove that no, he was being original- all while Admiral would comment of them as if they were a sideshow display. Then Admiral_Anus would turn around and knock an enemy player off their island with some clever pvp and they would all hoot and holler and swear for a while before going back to their conversation, joking about forgetting the topic and starting up a running gag about something new.

And their accents, mmm. PenisUnavailable would never say it, but he really was as American as white Wonder bread and Milfboss' Scottish brogue, Admiral's smooth British snark, and Shitty's shrieking in Australian, well. Ear candy, you know? Even if he teased them mercilessly for pronouncing shit wrong, like "buhguhr". Ppffttt, it still cracked him up how Milfboss had threatened to murder him after the dictionary app on his phone had proved him right that it was actually "Bur-gur", even if Admiral kept insisting it was pronounced "bruh-girl".

Four hours and twenty-eight wins later, they had agreed to meet up the next day to play again, preferably at an hour that wasn't two am for Shitty again. (It was two am for Shitty again, although that was because they played for six that time.) Eventually, it just became a regular thing, them playing bedwars and competing at ABBA Caving- the one game Penis was unnaturally good at, much to Admiral's annoyance- to the point where they ran out of funny jokes about their competitors and the game itself and started talking personal anecdotes.

Milfboss owned a motorcycle. Admiral, entirely independently, also owned a motorcycle, as that was the only vehicle of reasonable speed and style that could actually handle the London traffic. Shitty couldn't drive at all, something about never passing his driving test. Admiral ate cheese at breakfast. Shitty liked to burn his garbage in a metal oil drum in his backyard. Milfboss posted herself singing covers of shit over on Youtube. And it wasn't just real life stuff either- their minecraft skills were also on the table for them all to collectively roast.

Admiral had never seen a single Minecraft Championship. Milfboss thought a flat cobblestone roof was entirely acceptable. Shitty's favorite block was the flint and steel. (That's not a block, sixty-niner. Shut up, is too. OoOh, real clever, 'shut up'! Uh, how about no? How about I fuckin' make you, ever think 'a that? No nono nonono, I'm on two hearts! I'm on two hearts, stop!) It made him curious, honestly. He wanted to see Milf's builds for himself, get revenge on Shitty, see if Admiral really could beat the Ender Dragon with a knockback stick like he said he could.

So he made a minecraft server. And they all joined it. (And stuck PenisUnavailable with the bill, suckaaahhh~!)

Predictably, it all went to Hell in a hand basket pretty quick.

See, it's one thing to play with nutters like his friends in a structured set up like Hypixel games, it's quite another to try and keep a semblance of order in an open world survival server like the Penis SMP. The first five minutes had been him trying to explain the rules and teleporting everyone back to spawn over and over as they tried to "escape the cops," ie, him. The next five minutes was Shitty scream-laughing "scatter!" and other John Mulany references down the mic as everyone ran off to start their houses. Penis, as he was still "god" at that moment, used admin commands to find the closest flower field biome to settle into, hoping for some- ha- peace and quiet.

Shitty, inevitably, ended up trying to settle in the fucking Nether. Like a mad lad, you know, as you do when you are apparently obsessed with all things lava. Milfboss ended up making an oak plank box of a "tree house" in a dark oak forest, while Admiral_Anus picked a nearby swamp for his starter base. Outside of that, they just kinda vibed in discord as they tried to fend off the mobs and get enough resources to try and build up houses that were a bit more than cobblestone towers and wood boxes- er, mostly. Milf kinda just fucked off to go mining, found a skeleton spawner by chance, and made a set of iron gear to stand in the dungeon room with to just chill and kill mobs for a while. She ended up with something like 45 levels and burned her only diamond on an enchanting table so she could buff the Hell out of her iron weapons and armor.

Penis, rather typically, he though to himself, put together a basic sheep farm and started work on a cute little cobblestone cave base. He managed to get a whole twenty by twenty block room done and fully furnished before he noticed the chat full of Shitty's death messages and went to go investigate. After nearly dying in lava twice, he managed to find Shitty's pile of items floating on a basalt pillar about a hundred blocks out from his... base?

It was a soccer ball. Shitty's base was a perfect fucking spherical soccer ball made up of quartz blocks and basalt. Just. What. The Fuck??? Then out popped shittyfartbaby69 and it was PenisUnavailable's turn to misjudge a jump and plummet right into lava. Fifteen minutes and much shrieking later about losing his diamond pick, and it turns out that Shitty didn't really care about his lost items, as he really only had four gold picks, a stack of dark oak, two furnaces, a bucket, and thirteen cooked mutton to his name. Not even a bed, the fucker. He just ran back to his portal from spawn every time he just burned to death, taking the chance to gather resources on the way back each time.

And no, he wasn't following a tutorial for his "football" base. Jerk. (Although Penis did have to admire his determination...)

The day ended on Milfboss, Shitty, and Penis reconvening back at spawn to try and hunt down Admiral_Anus, who they found later having built a thirty block tall castle of all things. Out of cobble stone and the windows weren't quite even, but still, it was pretty impressive. And of course, when presented with a castle, what can what do but siege it? So they lay siege to the castle and Milfboss curb-stomped Admiral in pvp and laid claim to the throne, crowning herself queen before summarily throwing the rest of them out. It was a good day.

And the day after was a good day. They played dodge ball crossed with hide and seek in forest around Penis' house with arrows supplied by Milfboss. And the day after that, too, where they had a building competition using nothing but cobble stone, specifically to spite Milfboss, who had kicked all of their asses the day before. In fact, three wonderful weeks passed of doing normal Minecraft shit and being friends passed by, and every bit of it was great fun.

And then came the fucking role play.

PenisUnavailable would have liked to preface that with he only participated under duress, but really, Milfboss had been queen for too long and nobody wanted to risk TNT cannoning any of Shitty's nice builds, so. Well, the castle was better than his drafty cave, alright? It was cold and wet and didn't have a proper door because aesthetic (and because it usually took him several tries to work an iron pressure plate door), so there were far too many mobs wandering in at night and spawn camping him. He and Shitty had almost the same number of deaths and Shitty lived in the fucking Nether.

So yeah. Castle time, baby! Daddy needs a new home! And Admiral obviously wasn't happy living out of Milf's awful tree house hot box where they all did drugs together on day fifteen and it still smelled of burnt wheat seeds, aka "weed." It was only obvious that they teamed up to try and take back the castle.

The battle itself didn't exactly go great, but it wasn't exactly horrible either. A lot of shouting shit at each other for fifteen minutes, the majority of which he wouldn't remember until it was too late- something about server unity?- only to find out that it wasn't two on one girl boss, it was two on a girl boss and her "baked out of his mind" henchman, also known as Shitty in a squirrel furry skin.

The ears man. Those stupid (cute) ears.

And then they were running for their lives because Milf had somehow gotten her hands on a flame bow with infinity enchants.

It all culminated in a dramatic stand-off in front of Shitty's Nether Soccer ball, Milf on one side, diamond axe in hand, not a bit of armor on because of an unfortunate run in with lava, Penis and Admiral on the other, picks in hand, threatening to tear down shittyfartbaby69's base. Shitty wasn't online just then to comment, but they could all hear him click-clacking away on his keyboard so he obviously hadn't gone to sleep just yet like he said he had. At an impasse, and unable to justify letting her teammate's home be used as collateral, Milfboss stood down and gave up her "crown," an enchanted golden Prot IV helmet she had gotten off a skeleton from her spawner.

Then the great betrayal, the beginning of the end. Shitty came back online. 96-Cam joined the game, not that they noticed in the chaos. Admiral-Anus cackled wildly and PMed Milfboss the message that Shitty had sent him, giving Team Gay Sex permission to tear down his base in the name of winning the war if it came down to it- making Milf's sacrifice worthless in the end. Penis gave another dramatic speech, circling around Shitty, who was acting weirdly apologetic to Milf about betraying her and still wearing that fucking squirrel furry skin.

"You see Milf, there's one thing more powerful than a girl boss, and when it comes down to wars between kingdoms, there's something you need to remember!" Penis got out his golden ax, helpfully labeled 'Piss Off'.  "And that's a dilf with something to lose!" An enderpearl in his off hand and he teleported behind Milf, catching on fire from the lava but still landing the last hit needed to finish her off. She puffed into a cloud of EXP, swearing up a storm, and then Admiral and Penis turned their gaze to the cheering Shitty.

"AAAAAYYY, LET'S GO DADDY!" the squirrel man screeched, wild laughter shorting out the discord voice chat, making him go quiet in patches when the volume overloaded the client. Behind him, Admiral quietly started building a chair out of birch fence posts and slabs.

"Not so fast, shit-ty-fart-baaaaa-byyyyy~, this isn't quite over yet!" Penis fucking chirped, barely holding back his laughter. "You're still a fucking traitor and we can't have you backstabbing us too. Get in the chair for Daddy, okay baby?"

Admiral finished the chair just in time for Shitty to turn around and see the completed monstrosity, shrieking dying off immediately. "Oh screw you, that's just mean. The Hell man? That's not a chair, that's illegal. If you want an electric chair or some shit, just ask. That's just sad." Mentally shrugging, Admiral lit up his work with a flint and steel while Penis pillared up above where Shitty was building an electric chair out of iron bars and trap doors. Admiral nudged Shitty into the chair, Penis dumped a bucket of lava over the edge of the pillar so it flowed over him, and Shitty started giving a soliloquy about how betrayal and how his love for his "Daddy" still "burned strong".

Like his dick. Apparently.

By the time the lava finally hit the floor and burned Shitty to death, Penis was crying with laughter, shrieking down the mike and banging on the desk hard enough to make him forget that his was still on the mouse, making him mine the block under him with the bucket and sending him hurtling to his fiery death too.

It was a good day... almost.

Because, as it turned out, shittyfartbaby69 was actually a tiktokker of some renown and his cam account had record everything. And he had uploaded the bit to tiktok, as you do, where it went viral, where it wasn't supposed to. And Milfboss, who had recently been uploading covers of herself singing old classic Minecraft songs, had attracted the Minecraft fandom kids to her twitter, where she had gone to post her rage about the events of her dethroning and Shitty's execution.

Penis SMP had gotten on. Fucking. Trending. And now everyone was demanding the full clip, their names, their Twitch streamer handles, their characters' backstories.

The masses wanted lore.

Penis watched in disbelief, head in his hands and mouth agape as sugar crash played over a clip of him killing Milf on loop.

They were making memes.

...Oh god. They were screwed.

[metfell]

They put the fishe in the bur gur? Why would they poot him there he belongs in the sea -G

ANON WHAT IS THIS REFERRING TO

[eighth--wonder]

YEAHH CROWS

b bur gur

*breaths in* F LU FF CH ONK

Fluff chonk family reunion ☺️

I think this one wants to kill someone, and yknow what, that’s fair

This one just looks mildly upset or offended and I love them for it

This one may or may not be from an article talking about crow necrophillia, but,,,, it honestly looks like either one crow yelling at its dead fiend in grief or that coach/Sensei/trainer character yelling at the trainee to get off their fat but and continue training

hmhmhmmhmmhmhm the entire crow species my beloved

[wordbirds]

NONBURGER

NON-bur-gur ( N.) Word to use for a meatless hamburger that tastes and looks (pretty much) like a hamburger made of beef, but contains no animal proteins. Also may be used as adj. to describe the ground product used in cooking, available in grocery stores (and in Impossible Tacos and Bowls at Qdoba and Taco Bell.)  Usage: Joel ate a nonburger and fries at Burger King (the Impossible Whopper, they called it) and wondered when McDonald’s would start serving its version, the P.L.T. That night, at home, he made nonburger chili for dinner.

‡ For 200 other useful, illustrated 21st-century coinages, check out Wordbirds, on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Wordbirds-Irreverent-Lexicon-21st-Century/dp/1982104481/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1576848737&sr=8-1

[444namesplus]

aba abe abh abi abo abu acha ache achi acho achu ada ade adh adi ado adu afa afe afh afi afo afu aga age agh agi ago agu aha ahe ahi aho ahu aja aje aji ajo aju aka ake akh aki ako aku al ala ale alh ali alo alu am ama ame ami amo amu an ana ane ani ano anu apa ape aph api apo apu ar ara are arh ari aro aru asa ase ash asi aso asu ata ate ath ati ato atu ava ave avi avo avu az aza aze azh azi azo azu ba bal bam ban bar baz be bel bem ben ber bez bha bhe bhi bho bhu bi bil bim bin bir biz bo bol bom bon bor boz bu bul bum bun bur buz cha chal cham chan char chaz che chel chem chen cher chez chi chil chim chin chir chiz cho chol chom chon chor choz chu chul chum chun chur chuz da dal dam dan dar daz de del dem den der dez dha dhe dhi dho dhu di dil dim din dir diz do dol dom don dor doz du dul dum dun dur duz eba ebe ebh ebi ebo ebu echa eche echi echo echu eda ede edh edi edo edu efa efe efh efi efo efu ega ege egh egi ego egu eha ehe ehi eho ehu eja eje eji ejo eju eka eke ekh eki eko eku el ela ele elh eli elo elu em ema eme emi emo emu en ena ene eni eno enu epa epe eph epi epo epu er era ere erh eri ero eru esa ese esh esi eso esu eta ete eth eti eto etu eva eve evi evo evu ez eza eze ezh ezi ezo ezu fa fal fam fan far faz fe fel fem fen fer fez fha fhe fhi fho fhu fi fil fim fin fir fiz fo fol fom fon for foz fu ful fum fun fur fuz ga gal gam gan gar gaz ge gel gem gen ger gez gha ghe ghi gho ghu gi gil gim gin gir giz go gol gom gon gor goz gu gul gum gun gur guz ha hal ham han har haz he hel hem hen her hez hi hil him hin hir hiz ho hol hom hon hor hoz hu hul hum hun hur huz

iba ibe ibh ibi ibo ibu icha iche ichi icho ichu ida ide idh idi ido idu ifa ife ifh ifi ifo ifu iga ige igh igi igo igu iha ihe ihi iho ihu ija ije iji ijo iju ika ike ikh iki iko iku il ila ile ilh ili ilo ilu im ima ime imi imo imu in ina ine ini ino inu ipa ipe iph ipi ipo ipu ir ira ire irh iri iro iru isa ise ish isi iso isu ita ite ith iti ito itu iva ive ivi ivo ivu iz iza ize izh izi izo izu ja jal jam jan jar jaz je jel jem jen jer jez ji jil jim jin jir jiz jo jol jom jon jor joz ju jul jum jun jur juz ka kal kam kan kar kaz ke kel kem ken ker kez kha khe khi kho khu ki kil kim kin kir kiz ko kol kom kon kor koz ku kul kum kun kur kuz la lal lam lan lar laz le lel lem len ler lez lha lhe lhi lho lhu li lil lim lin lir liz lo lol lom lon lor loz lu lul lum lun lur luz ma mal mam man mar maz me mel mem men mer mez mi mil mim min mir miz mo mol mom mon mor moz mu mul mum mun mur muz na nal nam nan nar naz ne nel nem nen ner nez ni nil nim nin nir niz no nol nom non nor noz nu nul num nun nur nuz oba obe obh obi obo obu ocha oche ochi ocho ochu oda ode odh odi odo odu ofa ofe ofh ofi ofo ofu oga oge ogh ogi ogo ogu oha ohe ohi oho ohu oja oje oji ojo oju oka oke okh oki oko oku ol ola ole olh oli olo olu om oma ome omi omo omu on ona one oni ono onu opa ope oph opi opo opu or ora ore orh ori oro oru osa ose osh osi oso osu ota ote oth oti oto otu ova ove ovi ovo ovu oz oza oze ozh ozi ozo ozu pa pal pam pan par paz pe pel pem pen per pez pha phe phi pho phu pi pil pim pin pir piz po pol pom pon por poz pu pul pum pun pur puz ra ral ram ran rar raz re rel rem ren rer rez rha rhe rhi rho rhu ri ril rim rin rir riz ro rol rom ron ror roz ru rul rum run rur ruz sa sal sam san sar saz se sel sem sen ser sez sha she shi sho shu si sil sim sin sir siz so sol som son sor soz su sul sum sun sur suz ta tal tam tan tar taz te tel tem ten ter tez tha the thi tho thu ti til tim tin tir tiz to tol tom ton tor toz tu tul tum tun tur tuz uba ube ubh ubi ubo ubu ucha uche uchi ucho uchu uda ude udh udi udo udu ufa ufe ufh ufi ufo ufu uga uge ugh ugi ugo ugu uha uhe uhi uho uhu uja uje uji ujo uju uka uke ukh uki uko uku ul ula ule ulh uli ulo ulu um uma ume umi umo umu un una une uni uno unu upa upe uph upi upo upu ur ura ure urh uri uro uru usa use ush usi uso usu uta ute uth uti uto utu uva uve uvi uvo uvu uz uza uze uzh uzi uzo uzu va val vam van var vaz ve vel vem ven ver vez vi vil vim vin vir viz vo vol vom von vor voz vu vul vum vun vur vuz za zal zam zan zar zaz ze zel zem zen zer zez zha zhe zhi zho zhu zi zil zim zin zir ziz zo zol zom zon zor zoz zu zul zum zun zur zuz