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#but! all the fanarts' characters were once silly little OCs too
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My OCs (♡-_-♡)
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ian-loves-fanfiction · 8 months
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Well
I finally finished I See You, Sundrop! by @shirajellyfish
Slight spoily warning!
It is 1:14 in the morning as I write this (editing about a day later) and I have my first day of my senior year of high school tomorrow, but I just had to get all of my thoughts out while they were fresh.
I have never, never hyperfixated on a fanfic so hard. I've never read 400k+ words of a single fic in under a week. Somehow I managed to do that and have time to draw fanart (something I'm pretty sure I've only done once before for a fic, actually) and do my irl life shit.
How, you may ask? By continuously staying up into the wee hours of the morning :D (like 4-6am type shit, don't recommend it even if I think it was personally worth it).
I think I was so hyperfixated on the fic that I honestly didn't absorb the emotions like I should have? I felt things, surprise, excitement, a Sense of Impending Doom (/hj), but I don't think I really felt them.
I was probably a little more dissociated while reading than I usually am lol. I was so absorbed that some things barely registered. I am 100% going to have to re-read everything.
At one point I worried the fic wouldn't have a happy ending. Doesn't have the "angst with a happy ending" tag afaik and it got much worse before it got better. Saw a comment on one of the end notes and was reassured thankfully TvT. I'm very happy everyone is ok.
Love how the after ending note basically boiled down to "everyone is fine and Felix finally got some sleep" lol.
This fic was just. So good. Riley is such a dynamic character, so awesome and so cool. I really want to headcanon them as autistic (some of their behaviors just. They just. It's hard to explain, but if you're autistic too I bet you probably felt it, just a lil. They got the vibes /hj) but I know some authors can be kinda iffy about people headcanoning their OCs (which I get).
It was really cool to see an honest to goodness nonbinary character, a full character and not a self insert or y/n (no shade, I love y/n stories too). It was just cool to see a complete OC, and I love that it was all platonic, even if Sundrop did catch a little bit of feelings.
Honestly I relate so much to that, as someone who gains and loses crushes pretty fast. I'm happy it stayed platonic though and Sunny wasn't hurt or stuck pining or something silly. Plus his absolute embarrassment and mortification at his slip up was pretty funny. Might try to draw it, if I have any left over motivation (the bottom of this post sure is interesting hint hint).
Update as I'm editing this about a day later: I can't stop thinking about this fic. It was just so good! I already want to re-read it but I know I should give it at least a little time so I don't burn myself out. This fic was probably the best story I've ever read. Period. Even better than the published books I've read.
Honestly without spoiling any more than I already have, read it. If you like the DCA, read it. If you like cool nonbinary characters and great platonic relationships, read it. If you like a plot that sneaks up on you before hitting you in the feels like a truck, read. It. Do it. It's sososo worth it, I promise you.
If anyone has some good fics to read (completed preferred but actively updated ones work too) PLEASE FEED ME. Now that I'm done with ISYS I am desperate for more DCA fics. I've read so many and I n e e d m o r e.
Bonus fanart to celebrate my completion I guess(?), embarrassed Sun boy!
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I guess I just really like drawing embarrassed boyos. Sorry if it looks weird, I've never drawn a pose like this before :P
Shira if you're reading this, thank you. Your fic was just fantastic. Also thank you for helping me get out of my art block! I had it for the whole month of ArtFight (sadge) but I'm so happy to have some motivation again. Thank you.
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hollis-art · 1 year
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Hi I know I’m really awkward, but I think your art is really cool and it’s nice to see someone my age who also likes Star Trek. Also, kudos to you for posting fanart online because I find it really scary.
Eyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is so sweet!!!
Don't worry about being awkward, you are talking to someone who relates to Reg Barclay the most out of all of the Star Trek characters, and he is the epitome of awkwardness (and i love him so much. he is literally me)
I just recently got into Star Trek, and I don't know why I was so surprised to find that a lot of the fanbase is older. Like this fandom has been around for decades, but people are still being drawn into it. It's really cool actually. Like my parents both grew up with star trek in their lives one way or another, and now due to my fun little hyper-fixation, I am bringing it back to them in full swing by drawing all of the little characters and sticking them around our house, and talking about them whenever possible.
As for posting fanart online, I think the biggest reason I'm so comfortable doing it is because I do things with the idea of "I like this thing, and if I like it, other people will too!". And it appears that I was right!! For a long time, I didn't draw much fanart because I thought I wouldn't do the characters justice, so I stuck with drawing my OCs for years, because no one would be able to tell that I wasn't drawing them true to how they were (even though I was painfully aware of it). But after all of that practice, I gained the ability to take what I saw and put it into my own style without taking too much away from it, so I did a few fanworks here and there, but once I got dropped into the wonderful world of Star Trek, something happened and now I can't stop. And due to Star Trek actually having a fandom (unlike my OCs who no one other than me cares about), I decided to make this account to share it all! I was going to draw these silly little guys no matter what, so I might as well make people happy by sharing it for the world to see. I don't think it's really all that scary, but once I realize that woah, people are actually seeing this and enjoying it, it does get a bit surprising.
Anyways, thank you!! I really like typing, so if you don't want to read all of that, I absolutely understand
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taglegend · 3 years
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Tag Fact #3 -  I’ve come to realize I’ve always been a fan artist more than I thought. so here is a timeline of influences that shaped my childhood to now. from nostalgic times, to sad changes, to great loss, to strange rises to fame and phases, to stepping stones and finally a laughing place. all the things that make up your favorite fan artist Tag.
1. Rayman (bumped into this in the year of 1999) was actually the first fandom (with crossovers) I bumped into when I was 9. although the internet wasn’t available at the time it was still fun to dwell in home amusements. I remember the storylines and the OC’s I made but they’re kind of embarrassing and it’s probably a good thing there was no internet. I’ve done fanart and comic crossovers of Rayman with Calvin and Hobbs and Nights Into Dreams, spinoffs of Sonic the Hedgehog OC’s, Yoshi with Pikachu, and the Pokemon/Digimon craze with OC’s and other Nintendo comic shorts. but the drawings and comics are long gone and disappeared in the garage in a backpack due to suspecting my sister’s dad accidentally throwing them away. years later towards the year 2018 (now 28), we decided to move to North Carolina and it was my chance to find them again. unfortunately the backpack was gone just like I suspected (my main stuff), but for some reason I found my Pokemon/Digimon fanart, a good batch of Super Mario drawings (vaguely remember doing these), my sister’s drawings and some other neighborhood kids’ drawings in a dirty box. I was partially happy I found something at least but it was the backpack I wanted the most. sometimes I regret not looking for the backpack (’cause I was too busy being a kid) but it’s alright, noone needs to see that shit anyway, ha ha. anyways, I recall being a fan of Rayman from 1999 ‘til 2002.
2. Sonic Adventure 2 Battle (bumped into this in the year of 2003) my second fandom I bumped into when I was 12 going on 13. at the time, my sister and I both liked the Sonic The Hedgehog Franchise based on the Battle remake and ended up making our own secret fanart club that consisted of only us two members. she liked Sonic (and that was her boyfriend, ha ha) and I liked Knuckles (and he was my boyfriend, ha ha) and we were crazy in love about Shadow’s backstory. we listened to the game’s soundtracks as we drew fanart and comics after school and man, those were good times. however, as we grew older towards the year of 2005, we ended up having separate rooms and I believe it played a part in disconnecting on the same interest. then one day, I asked her why she wasn’t into Sonic anymore and she replied, “Because I grew up.” I was sad after that and slowly observed that she was influenced by the emo culture and the new friends she’s made. I was the only member of our little club for a little longer...but eventually I moved on too. I still have some surviving fanart we did together but it doesn’t mean shit anymore since she turned out to be an abusive mother from the last I’ve heard of her. 
3. Gorillaz (bumped into this in the year of 2006). as the Sonic years were at its end, I first heard the song “Feel Good Inc” on Music Choice and seeing the first image of them as displayed on this post (except the fan-made background doesn’t count since I can’t find the original artwork). this was my third fandom and later had proper access to the internet to the website I still currently use called DeviantArt. at first I liked 2D but eventually fell for Murdoc and developed a spiritual connection towards the character as obviously seen in my old fanart and rare photos of my devotion shrines on Valentine’s Day and his birthday every year. for the longest time since being a permanent fan from 2006-2017 (11 1/2 years) I had no knowledge that it was a political propaganda band and other realizations I don’t want to talk about. I only followed them because it was a cartoon and not the bullshit behind the musical project. the world I’ve built and support for them for all those 11 1/2 years shattered the fuck out of me and I just wanted to be left alone to find myself again, somehow. activity stopped on all my profiles, the flow of fanart stopped since I now cringe from the fan service and felt I was used for my talent. I didn’t want to be reminded of it all so I took down all my Gorillaz fanart and archived them for old followers’ nostalgia but also in the hopes they’ll be forgotten in my timeline. I ceased to exist in the fandom for huge personal reasons but it’s best to not say why. I know for sure that the fandom wonders what happened but it’s none of their business. THE END.
4. Waluigi (although I knew he’s been around since 2000 during childhood, I took deep interest once I revisited the character again in the year of December 2013). as silly as this sounds, when I revisited him again, the character was so bizarre that I ended up staying up 3 nights and 3 days in a row just looking all over the internet on everything about him and the questionable “hush-hush” absence of a backstory. despite there being no backstory he slowly gained a cult following and in many ways it’s a good thing. however, since the early 2010′s tension has been building up between Nintendo and its fans about him starring in a main game but everyone hasn’t fully gotten it in their heads that it’s not gonna happen. as long as Nintendo is in control of that, the fandom will not win, I’m sorry to say. on the other hand, if it’s going to be this way, then that’s what fanart and comic projects are for. as for me, I am doing my very best to get my comic project “Waluigi Land” going. again, I apologize if it’s taking very long to get Chapter 2 going if you’ve been keeping track but aha moments need to develop before I start permanent drawing (since concepts, character design and storyline needed improvement badly). as of right now I am still a Waluigi fan and I will not quit on him.
5. Turbo from Wreck-It-Ralph (although it debuted in 2012, I watched the movie two years later into the year 2014). for some bizarro reason, I had an unhealthy obsession with this character to the point where I dressed up as him for Halloween 2014. only 2 fanarts of him and the Turbo Twins exist on my profiles, mainly because my mind was more focused on just ‘thinking about him’ or ‘being him’ rather than drawing physical drawings. luckily, this supposed alleged fandom didn’t last long a little after Halloween so I chalk it up as a very short phase. to this day I don’t know what has gotten over me about him. the only thing I can think of now is that I think it’s because the character had yellow eyes and teeth but I don’t know. now that I think of it, that little fucker was ugly as hell and I STILL don’t know what had gotten over me. one day, my brother mentioned what that was about, and I said to him, “I don’t wanna talk about it.”
6. Undertale (although it debuted in 2015, I later took interest in it in 2016). It was all about Sans and Papyrus. I couldn’t get enough of the skeleton bros. eventually Toriel and Mettaton EX became my favorites but it took a long time to draw more of all 4 of them because I had other important things to do in my life plus I was still waiting for the next Gorillaz album to revive my imaginative juices (or so I thought). I really want to have this as one of my frequent fandoms but I just don’t have time for it anymore. it’s still in the back of my head to want to draw them but at this point I still have other better interests to be in. and besides, I’m lazy just like Sans.
7. Cuphead (June 28th, 2017 was the official day I called quits on the British-based band Gorillaz due to the bullshit behind it. since that date I was lost, had no inspiration to look forward to and no cartoon guy to make me smile...but lo and behold of the same year, I took an interest in playing the game Cuphead and man...that shit was a frightening exaggerated metaphor for being on that one drug (forgot the name though) and having sex at the same time but man that was the best fun I’ve had in years. I mean, it’s like, enemies are just so happy to murder you and that scared the shit outta me. and the facial exaggeration?....I think I should stop, ha ha. anyways, the Moldenhauers saved my ass from spiraling down, they have no clue. anyways, eventually I became a permanent fan of their work so to ease the hurt and erase my past from the G-fandom I had to re-wire my brain into a different cartoon category that’s a rather more American, so anything Toon related like Roger Rabbit, Felix the Cat or another favorite that’s a western-based cartoon makes me feel better, especially my new man .......King Dice <3 <3<3<3. however, there was something about this new fandom category I still didn’t quite understand until the date March 14th, 2020. I finally understood what it was but I feel I shouldn’t bring it up. anyways, Cuphead and anything western or rubber hose is my last stop in inspiration for the remaining years of my life. many say never say never but I believe I’ve found my laughing place and that’s all that matters.
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lumiolivierlithium · 3 years
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Life Update of 2020 (Don’t Worry.  Just the Good-Good)
It’s been a while since we last spoke, huh, Tumblr?  I don’t pay you nearly as much attention as what I should, but I’m scattered all over cyberspace.  I show up in the most unexpected places.  But what the alternate title of this is:
Lumi’s Post of Shameless Self Promotion (Because What Else is a Blog Good For?)
So, what have I been up to, you may be asking yourself?  Or maybe you’re not asking that question and you’re telling me to fuck off.  Well, if that’s the case, then fuck you, too.  So, hail Satan and have a lovely afternoon madam.
But if you are curious, here we are.  Let’s do this in sections.  That way, if you could give two shits less about something else I do, then, you can skip to the good bits, yeah? Or whatever it is you follow me for, K? Let’s get into it then.
1.)  Fan Fiction:
So, in my last master post update, I hadn’t started posting Castlevania yet.  It just recently came to an end last week, so...Brief synopsis and link in three...two...one!
Last of the Belmonts
Eden had lost her mother. The only family she thought she'd ever have. Her father couldn't be farther at the bottom of the barrel in her eyes. Her mother would be the only one who would accept her dhampir nature. That is until she finally starts to explore the other half of her blood, her vampiric half, courtesy of a certain girl gang of full-blooded vampires. However, despite that, she's still half human. Which half will rule her head and her heart?
Just a heads up.  If you do read Last of the Belmonts (which I highly recommend.  I loved this story so much and I’m so sad to see it go.), there are slight mentions of rape, but they’re far and few in between.  Eden, the MC, is a dhampir.  And for those who don’t know, dhampirs are a human/vampire hybrid.  She wasn’t one of the lucky ones who came into this world by consensual means.  Most of them aren’t.  But before you ask, NO.  SHE IS NOT DRACULA’S DAUGHTER.  We find out just who she is throughout the story.  But it’s got a little bit of everything in it.  It’s got Trevor and Alucard sassing each other.  It’s got Sypha trying to mediate between them.  It’s got a MC that’s got a chip on her shoulder.  I like to call it an alternative season three.  Like, the story opens up in Braila after Carmilla’s raid, so...I’m not going to give too much for spoilers here.  Just...Read the damn thing if you’re that curious.  And I’ve been getting asked about a sequel, but I’m not quite sold on it yet.  
But Castlevania isn’t the only fandom I’ve dipped my toe in as far as fic goes.  Because...It’s been three years since I last wrote for Death Note and I got a friendly reminder of how big of Death Note trash I was when I fell down a fanart rabbit hole one night and thought, I need to jump back into writing Death Note fic.  It’s that kind of a year.  What the hell?  Why not?  And because I was feeling particularly thirsty, I decided I’d write my first Lawlight fic.  Which...Again, same as I did for Last of the Belmonts, synopsis and link!  BAM!
The Sweet Taste of Silver
Email after email...It only made Light sicker to look at them. Final notice. Past due. Expulsion threats. He knew going to one of the best schools in the country would be pricey, but that's what his scholarships were for, right? At least until they start running out. At least he'll have his internship...And his new employer.
Yeah.  It’s what you think.  It’s a sugar baby AU.  We all know Light’s a sugar baby waiting to happen and it’s an underappreciated AU on Ao3, so I figured I’d add to the rich tapestry it is.  But this is still ongoing.  It gets updates every Tuesday.  This story has been my new lightning in a bottle.  It’s gotten a lot of traction on Ao3 and you are definitely more than welcome to it.  I never thought I’d get so into writing angsty gays like I did with L and Light, but holy hell.  It’s so much fun...Why did no one tell me this would be fun?  I don’t know why I needed a sugar baby Death Note fic, but dammit, here we are.
Amongst all that mess, I’ve posted a SHIT TON of Mystic Messenger oneshots (even got my first commission because of those oneshots!).  They’re all on Ao3.  There’s probably 11 or 12 of them, so I’m not going to post the whole list here.  Just go to my Ao3 account.  You’ll see them there.  But since we’re on the subject of MysMes fics I’ve written over the years, I started doing a rewrite of Man’s Best Intern, too!  I mean, the story premise is still the same, but it’s had some tweaks here and there.  And that’s damn near catching up to the Sweet Taste of Silver.  My babies are all growing up so fast.  I’m so proud of them...But the Man’s Best Intern rewrite is going up on Ao3 every Wednesday and Friday.
And the last fic I’m going to throw out here is For the Family.  Now, for those of you who remember, last year, I posted a story called Switch about a little girl that grew up in New York mafia falling in love with a sweet, yet salty yakuza boy and getting tangled up with the Ouran Host Club.  Well, it got a sequel.  Again.  Link and synopsis, ho!
For the Family
One year. That's all it took for Rei's heart to find home in another city. But it wasn't necessarily the city that captured her heart. it was the cute yakuza boy that bumped into her in the hallway. And thought she was a dude. Anyone else would've been afraid of someone with that kind of power...but not everyone had that same power. Now that another summer has passed, Rei and Ritsu were ready to go back to Ouran to take on their mutual frenemies: The Ouran Host Club
I couldn’t stay away from them for long.  They were too cute.  I loved Rei and Ritsu’s dynamic and they’ve only gotten worse.  At the time I’m posting this, For the Family is ongoing, too.  It goes up on Thursdays and I love this one so much.  It’s been a roller coaster already and it hasn’t even gotten to the middle bit yet.  This coming week’s chapter may or may not be a shit show.
I know I said that I’d be done with my fan fiction bullshit after my pitch of For the Family, but I also kind of have something cooking up.  I’ve been working on a project that’s been completely handwritten for Hetalia that includes both the 1p! and 2p! characters, centered around an OC.  I’ve been debating on whether or not to post that one online.  Because it’s been mostly me writing it for me to unwind at night.  It’s what I’ve spent my last half hour of my day working on and it’s put me in such a good place.  Which is weird because the MC spends a lot of time with 2p!France and he’s kind of an asshole. I don’t know.  I’ll think about it.
2.)  New Schedule Changes?  Instagram?  Whaaaat?
I know.  That sounds like it still pertains to my fan fiction here.  It does not!  On my Instagram for the last few weeks, I’ve been doing livestreams on Friday nights.  It’s mostly just me sitting down and bullshitting with a camera, but it’s been some great fun!  For the first one, I made curry.  For the second one, I was working on a bullet journal spread.  They’re all just very chill livestreams with a little hint of chaotic.  My last post before this one?  That was from last week’s stream when we were talking about different CMV projects I’d love to make, but I don’t have the bodies to make them.  As mellow as they are, they’re also a lot of fun.  So, if you’re looking for something to do with your Friday night and feel like hanging out with me, come hang out with me.  My IG handle is LumiOlivier.  You’re more than welcome to come sit and hang out.  If my streams keep going they way they’ve been, maybe I’ll start doing more with them.  Maybe I’ll bring them to YouTube.  Maybe I’ll do something silly like do them more than once a week.  
But that’s pretty much it.  I’ve been, like most of you, shut up in my house for the last six months as much as possible.  This year might be shit, but there’s been some pretty neat shit happening.  And hopefully, it’ll be more of an upswing for the rest of it.  So, I’m going to go because I have a chapter I need to do for Wednesday tonight and an outline to do.  K, love you, bye! 
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wbbbrothers · 5 years
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Dear We Bare Bears,
Hello! I am Sugs. Within the next month, I will be in the start of my college experience as an Illustration major. That fact is completely wild to think about considering when I first started watching this show (on this day four years ago) I was entering High School as a freshman student and I was, in fact, a completely different person. Therefore, I decided that because I am stepping into a whole new chapter of my life and this show has been with me the entire way... this Anniversary I wanted to write about how this show has impacted me over the past four years.
 Apologies for this being a long post, I have a lot to say.
I created this blog right at the end of the premiere week of this show. I had watched every new episode airing during that Bearbomb that week. One of the  last episodes of the week was Primal. So, while it was still airing and I decided in the middle of it that I was hooked! And I knew I needed to make an ask blog to enjoy these silly bear brother characters and fuel the love I had already already found for the show somehow. Wbbbrothers was that ask blog.
I didn’t know at the time but that was possibly one of the best decisions I could have ever made for myself at that point in my life and do mean that very sincerely. Growing up, having intense interest in media that took over my entire creative output was always a very common thing (and obviously still is). These large phases were able to keep my full attention about 1-2 years tops until my brain latched onto something new. But, out of all of those I have to say that We Bare Bears and Bears in general truly are very special to me. I have never been able to create such a variety of stories, embrace so many flawed and imperfect yet still loved characters and feel so deeply about them and the stories I was telling through them. Especially for this long of a time. We Bare Bears as a show holds a great deal of heartfelt comfort for me.
To me: We Bare Bears is a unique show in the fact that (most of the time) it has a very casual, down to earth and calming atmosphere about it. That being said, it is never afraid to experiment or step foot into other genres thanks to its open ended and episodic nature. It is not perfect by any means, like any cartoon written by human beings with flaws. But I admire the love that gets put into it with its personalized watercolored backgrounds, muted palette aesthetics, little visual humor and amazing colorists in general. It can be hit or miss sometimes but it is episodes like Chicken & Waffles, Chloe & Ice Bear, Occupy Bears, Yuri & The Bear, Hibernation, Hurricane Hal and more that remind me why I fell in love with the show in the first place. It loves the quiet moments just as much as I do. It does not have to be constantly shoving stimulation down your throat and in your face in order to tell a fun or compelling story. I have always respected its ability to take things at a slower pace sometimes, especially when a lot of current cartoons tend to lean towards Snappiness (snappy humor, snappy action, bright colors and fast pacing)
 We Bare Bears feels like warmth. When I re-watch my favorite character driven episodes I cannot remove the fond smile from my face and when I re-watch my favorite adventure filled episodes it always sends me bouncing in my seat.
My method with interacting with my interests was always to create my own fan-content or Alternate Universes with the characters that I loved.  It was my way of putting a piece of me into the characters whether it be through my other interests in media or my own experiences and feelings. The AUs I make are a genuine form of self-expression to me. 
Obviously, the Character Driven and Open Ended Slice of Life nature of We Bare Bears as a series really opened up the flood gates in terms of my creativity and ideas for AUs.  I never felt happier than when I was creating new jokes or dialogue or just silly scenarios. Alternate Universes were a combination of all the parts I loved about creating for me and they started to act as my own free-roam stories to explore these favorite characters of mine in all sorts of different ways. Since I have started, my work has only improved the more love and passion I put into it. 
Superhero AU and Bad Bears are my main two fan stories/AUs of mine that have been around since I was 14-15 and are two of the most developed AUs I have ever had. They taught me a lot about, developing fictional worlds, characters and plotlines and I am STILL developing and enjoying them even now! They’ve also inspired me to make so many other OCs and stories so much as influencing future projects that I am currently in the middle of developing.
It baffles me to think of a world where I never watched We Bare Bears and never was able to be influenced by its fans, its art, writing and its characters.
If you’ve been on this blog long enough you might recall that my first Wbb AU was your average run of the mill Zombie AU (this was while wbbbrothers was still primarily an ask blog) not to be confused with my Zombie 2 AU which is a completely different premise entirely aside from the zombie apocalypse part. Long story short, I had a Fuckload of AUs back then and I mean A Lot. Enough to get condescending messages over, even some curse outs. (Not everyone I met over the four years was the greatest...) I was scared away from publicly speaking about most of them the way that I used to. While my technical skill was lacking for that age and I could not write a solid scene to save my life, despite the negativity, the intense passion and enjoyment I felt from making content kept me enthralled with the show. I kept making my AUs in private and developing them, posting more general fanart and occasionally art for my Superhero AU publicly. I even started to get pretty good at drawing Bears! And managed to make some friends who shared interests with me, something I never got to have offline.
It was not all great of course, the past four years have been extremely hard for me and extremely hard for everybody else, I’m sure. Bears was my default thought when surviving High School; my go-to pick me up. I seriously would say that it has saved me more than once whether it be through talking to my friends I met because of it or just offering a distraction/creative outlet from whatever was going on in my life.
Prior to becoming a fan I never would have thought I would have been able to  make so many stories, projects, art, writing and comics  and talk to so many amazing creators and people all thanks to this one show about Socially Awkward Bears living in San Fransisco.  
But here we are.
And you know what, even when I inevitably move onto newer projects or interests, I think Bears will always be an important influencer to me. The wonderful people I have met throughout these four years have given me so much support and love and friendship like none I have ever been allowed to experience before. I have learned so much about my identity through my friendships and my stories. And even the awful people I have met taught me what NOT to do and what to avoid when moving forward in my life.
 I am just. So, so grateful for everything and being able to pursue what I love and have it be received by others to make them feel things too. There is a Lot more I could say I am sure but since this is long enough as is I will send it off here.
 So from the bottom of my heart I can only say Thank you. Thank you to my friends who still talk to me to this day, I love you guys. Thank you to those I used to speak to but don’t anymore, our friendship of the past  still stays with me. Thank you to anyone who enjoys my work, my stories and follows me despite my wild ramblings such as this!! (If you’re still reading this wow, points to you)
And Thank you We Bare Bears for helping me grow so much as an artist and giving me a sense of direction and purpose with my work as a hurting teenager who was very, very lost in 2015.
Sincerely yours,
Wbbbrothers <3
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thefloatingstone · 6 years
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never thought I'd see you getting into undertale AUs with a bunch of different sanses and papyruses. in the past you've been all about canon! what drew you to the AUs you've been reblogging lately? (tone clarification: this isn't a criticism or intended negatively, I'm honestly curious about the change of heart.)
I’m still not really into AUs at all to be honest. I like my canon, and I feel the AUs are not able to reach the emotional connection I feel towards the canon characters. I cannot hold the same affection for them as I do canon, and I do not go out of my way to search for specific AUs. I don’t have “a favourite” AU for instance. Because none of the interest me on a concept level, if that makes sense. I don’t have much interest in ‘what if Sans and Papyrus were swapped’ or ‘what if the rules for the universe worked a little different’ or ‘what if things were more violent and darker’. None of those questions interest me and I have no desire to alter the canon as it stands. Nor do I feel those alterations that exist and were created by others can eclipse my love for canon and what I feel is the foundation.
Part of this is because I am not a person who has ever dabbled in other fandoms beyond its canon. For instance: not counting the one character I had for Ratchet and Clank when I was 14, I have never been somebody who makes OCs for myself. I made a few kinda sorta for Invader Zim… But usually in a single drawing and then I got bored and drew something else. I outgrew OCs extremely quickly and since age 18 have never felt the need to create any aside as background characters designed to fulfill a function in a fanfic to aid the canon characters I focus on. I just don’t have an interest in creating that much that isn’t canon.
Even when I was hardcore into TMNT, I only liked the 2003 cartoon. And when the 2012 cartoon came out, I could not get into it, simply because its canon was different from the 2003 show that I loved.
So I just am not a person who is predisposed to drastic changes to canon.
This remains true, and is a core part of my personality so I don’t see that changing in that regards.
I have been reblogging some more AU things lately but this is a credit completely and entirely to the artists and writers I reblog from and their handling of the characters. Even with fanart, it’s more about how the artists writes the character than it is the drawing of the character on its own. (Although I will reblog just plain good art if I like it because I feel refusing to do so is just being petty and stubborn.)
I got hooked on @jolie-in-the-underground’s AU character Q because she reblogged a lot of my comic and art and her tags always mean a lot to me, ao I followed her back as I consider her a friend, and she has this Q character who answers asks. I have a soft spot for chaotic neutral characters (hell I wrote an entire fanfic once literally titled 'chaotic neutral’) so I enjoyed his responses to things. Someone mentioned in the fanfic he was from the latest chapter had some angst and feels. Now of course I’m a sucker for angst and feels so I read it so as not to be out of the loop.
After much prompting and poking from Jolie, I read the previous chapters to so I could get context for events and simply because I like her writing. But her fanfic is a story that is a spin-off for ANOTHER fanfic. And it got to a point where I felt I wanted more context for a new chapter.
So I read some of @tyranttortoise’s fanfic which started the whole thing and was so enamored with her writing and handling if characters that I ended up reading her story from the beginning.
Ty’s fanfic is a reverse harem type story with a reader insert as the main character and literally 5 or 6 different AU versions of the skelebros living in a lodge together. And since her writing and handling of character is so good, of course I ended up developing favourites based on her handling of them. I cannot help that I am drawn to well written characters.
So at the moment I am very much enjoying her story as well as Jolie’s. And as for Grim and @nighttimepixels, considering the 3 of them are all in cahoots with each other (Night is Jolie’s sister and they cross-blog a lot) I ended up following her as well since her art is good and I enjoyed a short angsty piece she wrote recently. Also Night makes games involving the characters and setting of the 2 fanfics.
… @forgivemeimmasin is just a damn good artist and nice person and I am inspired by her art, expressions, designs and how her characters answer asks. *shrug emoji* I feel I can improve my art by looking and studying what it is I enjoy about her’s.
As a result, I like reblogging things from them because I enjoy them as artists and I am someone who likes it when my own work gets reblogged much more than just getting likes. And I do jot like being a hypocrit. So I feel if I enjoy their writing and art I should be reblogging it to, and not let stubbornness stop me from supporting people whose work I enjoy and who I consider online buddies if not full out friends. They deserve support and notes too. Especially writers who often get overshadowed by artists which isn’t fair.
So long story short, the AU reblogs from me are a testament to the artists I reblog from, and not to the AU concept on its own.
I still don’t really like AUs, but my love for good characters written well overrides my dislike. And I find it silly to deny that I like a character out of some sense of pride or “I said this thing this one time so I am never allowed to change my mind about it”. Because in the end I only deny myself enjoyment that way.
I hope that answers your question?
Also I do apologise as I know most of my watchers are not into AUs and some like me lament the fact that the fanbase seems so preoccupied with them that they completely ignore canon. I don’t mean to alienate you or make you regret following me. But I don’t feel comfortable putting up a fake visage of what I like and enjoy for the sake of rep. I hope you don’t decide to leave me over it.
Canon is still my prime focus though, and honestly I do not see myself interested in AUs beyond these writers and artists at all. For instance I have no desire to write these characters myself. Although I might want to draw the versions from the fanfics I enjoy.
I’ll always be canon first though.
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endless-vall · 7 years
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What if? - part four - Val & Claudius fanfic
Summery: What if we got closure not only for Kenna, but for the other characters too? Kenna appoints her master of arms, Val, to a joint training mission in Abanthus, with Fydoria. Val meets old friends and reconnects with them, and finds out a few interesting details.  Author’s note: It took me way too long to continue this series, but inspiration just hit me out of nowhere. This piece is Val centeric, but also tells the story of her and Claudius. If you don’t know who Claudius is, I recommend reading my other fanfic of them here, and checking out my fanart here 😄 ANYWAY, this piece also explores other characters from The Crown and The Flame, and what happened with them (Diavolos, Adder, Eda & Annelyse), and also features a new oc! 😊 Part One, Part Two, Part Three.
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“Val, a moment?” Kenna was walking towards her with her son Adrian in her arms. The little brat was Val’s own favorite little angel, even though she would never admit that. Val never liked kids too much, they were always too loud and caused way too much trouble, but the little guy won her over from the first moment she saw him. Val stopped the training session with a few of her new recruits, all of them falling to the ground, hitting it hard, and thanking the lord for a little break, finally. Kenna couldn’t help but chuckle, as Val approached her.  “You should go easier on them.” She suggested, while handing her little prince to Val, who seemed very excited to have a few moments with him. “Huh! y’think? They’ll think i’m turning into a softie!” Val protested, while playing and amusing Adrian. “Right.” Kenna noted, making Val stop at her tracks, and look up at her. “Because right now they think you’re vicious.” Kenna motioned to the hand shadow bunny Val was showing to Adrian. Val snored at her, but nodded. “They might get the wrong idea.” She agreed. Kenna grinned, and ruffled Adrian’s hair. Adrian didn’t seem too happy with that, and made an adorable pout. “Can you blame me?” Val asked, as she kissed Adrian on his cheek, making the pout-y face fade away, and a huge smile spread instead of it. “Not at all.” Kenna agreed. “Well, as much as I adore this little guy over here, i’m sure this isn’t why you wanted to talk to me.” Val focused on Kenna now, while putting Adrian down. The little curious prince wondered out loud in awe, pointing at the stables and calling “Hoses!! hor... horses!!!” excitedly. “You’re right. And you’re also right, my little sunshine, there are horses in there. Do you want to go check that out with me later?” Kenna asked Adrian, who nodded enthusiastically and waited eagerly. “I wanted to have a word because king Diavolos sent this out.” Kenna now turned back to Val. She gave Val a piece of paper, looking like a royal letter. “What does it say? Is he declaring war again? Because I swear--” Val got heated for a moment, before Kenna shook her head and waved her hands in protest “No... No.” She giggled a little. “It’s alright. It’s just an invitation.” She said, showing Val the details on the letter.  “Oh.” Val nodded. “So... why are you showing this to me? I mean, with all due respect, shouldn’t you be showing this to Raydan? Or your advisers? Or even Jackson, for that matter?” Val wondered out loud. “No, silly, this is an invitation for a joint training session.” Kenna explained. “Ohhh...” now it made sense. “Between Abanthus, Stormholt, and... Fydoria.” Kenna explained further, winking at the end. “Uh, why would you say it like that?” Val was getting suspicious. Kenna could’ve decided to send anyone else from her army. While Val was appointed master of arms, she certainly wasn’t the best candidate to represent Stormholt at official matters. And also, pointing out Fydoria like this, made her suspect Kenna had something else on her mind, too. “Oh, no reason. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just... You know. Interesting people might be there.” And with that, Kenna left, not giving away any more details, and walking hand in hand with Adrian towards the stables. “I hate it when she does it!” Val ranted out loud, to herself. She looked back at the group of soldiers she was trying to teach some basic moves to, realizing they were too beated to continue, and decided to call it a day.
When Val laid in her bed at night, she finally had some time to think about what Kenna could mean. “Pick your best group, you’ll leave tomorrow, first thing in the morning!” Kenna noted to her, somewhere along the day, after their talk. What could Kenna mean? Fydoria... Interesting people... Who was she kidding? Val knew what Kenna meant. She knew alright. The last time Val saw him, was at Tevan and Zenobia’s wedding. Kenna caught her looking too longingly at the man officiating the wedding. Then, Val told her about the bond and friendship they formed, and about a certain night at a tavern that still gave her butterflies in her stomach. But other then sharing a drink, and congratulating him on his promotion, they didn’t exchange much words that evening.  Ugh. This was stupid. And now Kenna was sending her, of all people, when she knew he’d be there? It’s not like she was thinking about him, all the time. She had flings with both man and woman in the past few years. But nothing of those things lasted, and she was fine with it that way. But when she did think of him... when they met... her heart fluttered. Val decided to gather her best group, just in case, but to also have a talk, with Kenna, in the following morning. To her luck, she didn’t need to look for Kenna, or even worse, wake her up. Kenna came out, along with Raydan, to wave them goodbye before their journey. “Kenna!” Val leaped to the front, when she saw them getting out of the castle. She was busy handling last preparations before heading out, but once she saw Kenna, she knew she had to ‘confront’ her about this matter. “Oops, that might’ve came out too excitedly.” Val blushed, when she remembered they were in front of many subject of Kenna. While she and Kenna were still friends, and Kenna never made her feel like she was less of anything, for being a former mercenary, or for not a from a noble family line, but Val had to remind herself sometimes that they weren’t on their journeys anymore, and Kenna wasn’t a queen without a kingdom anymore. Kenna just chuckled, and motioned her to get closer, like this wasn’t a big deal. “What, did you want a real hug before saying goodbye?” Kenna teased her, while Raydan found the situation really amusing, from her other side. “What? This is ridiculous. You know exactly what this is about.” Val eyed Kenna, who shrugged innocently. “I have no idea what are you talking about.” She played her role, but Raydan’s chuckle gave her away. “Kenna!” Val grumbled, not too loudly. “Fine! fine!” Kenna admitted defeat, bursting into laughter with her husband. “I’m happy you find torturing me amusing, you guys.” Val looked at both of them, staring them down. “C’mon Val. Don’t you think you’re exaggerating? I wouldn’t go as far as saying this is torturing you.” Raydan was the first to compose himself, and reply to her. Kenna followed closely after, nodding and agreeing with him. “You’re making fun of me, now ya?” Val sighed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. We’re just sending you on a training mission.” Kenna nudged Val in her shoulder. “Now come on, you should be going.” She smiled, pulled Val into a quick hug, and then turned her around and pushed her towards her soldiers. “Fine.” Val muttered under her breath, and then got on her horse. “Let’s head out!” She called out, all of her soldiers riding behind her. “You’ll meet the Fydorian troops on the way. Then you’ll head together to Abanthus. You should find them by nightfall, but if not - here’s a communication orb.” Val remembered Kenna’s words, as she watched the beautiful purple orb in her side pocket. She wondered who would be on the other side of it. Or maybe, she waited to finally meet him again. Just like he was reading her mind, the purple orb lighted up and a familiar voice came out of it. “Val? Lady Valentina? Is that really you?” Claudius voice rang in her ears. Her heart beat fast in her chest, but she wouldn’t have it that way. “I though I told you to not call me that way, a long time ago. And I warned you about using my full name. I knew it was a mistake telling you about it.” She took the orb out of her pocket and answered him. “I deeply and sincerely apologize. I know I should’ve waited to meet you by nightfall, but I couldn’t wait any longer. I had to hear your voice. Even if you’re just scolding me.” He teased, and Val rolled her eyes, defiantly satisfied. “Oh. I’m not just scolding. You know i’m not just all talk. You’ll be punished when we bump into each other again.” Val warned him again. She heard Claudius chuckle huskily. She could imagine him smirking right now. “I’m counting on that.” He finally whispered. Val blushed at first, then bite her lip. Finally, she composed herself, all in a matter of a few seconds. She was glad she was leading the group, since no one saw her flushing right now. “I’m going to beat you ass, you know.” She said back. “Are you kidding? I was waiting for this re-match for years!” Claudius called excitedly, and Val bursted into laughter. “See ya later when i’ll be kicking your ass, dummy.” Val rolled her eyes, and put the purple orb in her pocket again. By nightfall, as promised, Stormholt troops met the Fydorian troops. They all set camp and started bonfires. Claudius embraced Val in a bear-hug, and she hugged tightly back. After boosting their soldiers moral, the two leaders went a little further from the group. They got to the edge of a low cliff, watching the starry night before them.  They both sat down, and their hands accidentally brushed against each other. It caught them both by surprise, and they both shot their eyes from their hands to each other’s eyes. In the darkness, it was hard to tell, but both were blushing. While they’ve shared a kiss before, this was entirely different. They weren’t drunk right now, and weren’t on the verge of possibly dying tomorrow by a lightning monster. Val opened her mouth. She didn’t know what to say, but she had to say something, right? “Uh...” Was all that came out of Val’s mouth. “So how about that re-match?” Claudius asked, suddenly. “Good idea.” Val swallowed, jumping back on her legs, letting go of his hand. He got up as well, and prepared himself, getting into a fighting position. “I can’t believe it! You beat me with my own move!! UGH!” Val complained, as Claudius sat on her back, holding both of her hands behind her. “What can I say? You’re a good teacher. Or do you want to call it cheating and demand another re-match?” Claudius teased. “Oh, don’t get too cocky. I’ll defiantly defeat you if you’ll give me another chance.” She said, as he released her. “You sure? I got pretty good at thi-” Before he could finish his line, Val leaped towards his, tackling him down and holding his arms under her legs. That way, he was completely immobilized. Under her mercy. “Hey! this was un-fair. We didn’t say we started. I was totally off-guard.” Claudius protested. “A warrior should always be on-guard.” Val simply noted. “I guess I still have a lot to learn.” Claudius agreed. Val freed her hold of his hands, but still stayed on top of him, straddling him. “I guess you do.” She said, and finally got off him. They went back into camp, and each went into their tent. Their journey continued, and they finally made it to Lykos. A messenger announced their arrival, and King Diavolos quickly came out, greeting them. “Hello, Val. Claudius. It’s nice to see you again.” Diavolos approached them, shaking their hands.  “Diavolos,” Val had to give credit to the man. He had proven himself and trust-worthy ally, and a honorably man. Something Val couldn’t ever possibly imagine happening. But a few good years had passed since the end of the war, and Diavolos haven’t disappointed them even once. Claudius bowed slightly, showing his respect too. “You must be tired. The staff will show you to your rooms. We’ll assemble later again, for the training session details.” Diavolos said, and none of them had any complaints. When they gathered again, after re-freshening, Val looked around the courtyard. “Where’s Adder?” she wondered out loud, searching around Diavolos. “Oh, we don’t see her that much these days. After my sister got out of the way, me and Adder got to agreements a lot easier, and she left the ruling part for me. She can run the Black Asps from wherever she wants, and she spends most of her time in Aurelia now.” Diavolos told her. “But you probably shouldn’t mention it near Eda.” He advised, eyeing one of his captains. “Oh. They broke up?” Val asked. While she didn’t remember if Adder and Eda were ever really official, she did remember seeing them dancing together at a few celebrations, as well as in Tevan and Zenobia’s wedding. “They did.” Diavolos confirmed. “Why Aurelia, of all?” Claudius joined in the conversation. “Well, let’s just say, Adder loves gold. Or, more specifically, a certain woman in gold.” Diavolos had a sly smile, while Val realized what he was saying. “No way! Adder and Annelyse got together?” She asked, making sure no to be too loud and upset that captain. “Well, i’m not sure about how Annelyse feels about it, and frankly, i’m not really updated on this subject, regularly. But Adder made it very clear how she feels about her. And, since she does spend a lot of time there, I guess it’s possible.” Diavolos shrugged. It was clear he didn’t know anymore about those two. Diavolos appointed Eda as the head of the training mission on Abanthus side, and left for his businesses. Along with Val and Claudius, the three agreed on a training technique, and started to practice. After a long day of practicing, even Val was ready to call it a day. She was known for being hard on her soldiers, but with good intentions. She was always pushing them to their limits, to be their best-selves. But handling all three groups was getting... exhausting. “Val!” Claudius called, as he and a few other soldiers were heading out, last but not least, from the training arena. “would you like to join us in the tavern?” he asked. A knowing smile spread on his lips. “Oh, I don’t think I could handle it.” Val admitted. “Oh no, are you feeling well?” He checked her for fever, jokingly. “Does the mighty Val refuse a drink just to head to bed early?” He continued. “Hey!” She scoffed. “I’m not saying i’m heading to bed early! i’m just saying I might need to cut on the booze for tonight to stay focused for tomorrow.” She added. “Alright. Boys, you should head without me.” Claudius called back to the group of soldiers, who disappeared so fast Val couldn’t even question it. “Who said I invited you to stay in with me?” She raised an eyebrow, teasingly. “I just thought you’d appreciate the company.” Caludius tried. “Maybe you’re right.” Val punched his arm lightly, and then he wrapped an arm around her shoulder. She enjoyed the touch, and leaned into it. “Where to?” A long moment had passed, until Claudius broke the silence and asked. “I think I saw a cozy spot in the garden, by the fountain, but it might be occupied.” Val suggested. “We could check it out.” Claudius nodded, and they started walking in that direction. They arrived at the fountain, to find Diavolos talking to a stranger. She was a beautiful woman with light hair, golden locks turned into a gentle hairbun, wearing a fancy blue dress. They were too far away to figure out what they were talking about, but it seemed like she said something snarky, and Diavolos chuckled, putting a hand on the back of his neck. The unknown woman raised her eyebrow at him, and then shrugged and took off. Diavolos immediately followed her, calling after her. “Lady Felicia, wait up!” They didn’t seem to notice Val or Claudius, and both caught their places near the fountain. “Lady Felicia, huh?” Val noted, before scooting closer to Claudius. “She looks familiar. If i’m not mistaken, she’s from Fydoria’s noble families. She’s known for being cunning and hard working, don’t let that gentle angelic appearance fool you.” Claudius told her. She sent a questioning look his way, but he just chuckled and shrugged. “I know everything King Tevan needs to know. This includes insight about the noble families.” Val nodded. “Interesting. And do you find Lady gentle angelic appearance attractive?” Val asked, not sure where she was going with this. It’s not like she was jealous, she had nothing to be jealous of, and even if she did, she didn’t have any right to be. “Hm... Pretty? sure. Attractive? Nah.” Claudius simply answered. Val was a little shocked, but it wasn’t showing on her. “Personally, the woman I find attractive, is a little more... rough.” He said, looking directly into her eyes. Well... now, her shock was defiantly showing. Along with a slight blush, she had to quickly shake away. “Oh... Interesting...” Val dared to look back at him. “But none the less beautiful.” Claudius added, his eyes drifted from her eyes to her lips, and to her eyes again. “C'mere. Dammit.” Val pulled at Claudius’s top, making their mouths meet in a clash. “Ouch!” They both burst into laughter, the nervousness faded away, and while the moment “was ruined”, both felt relieved. After they finished laughing it off, Claudius lifted her chin with his hand, and pulled her lightly towards him. She leaned in gladly, and their lips met in a soft and sweet kiss. This time it went smoothly, and quickly enough the kiss developed into a much hungrier one. As if it was making up for every time their glasses clinked and met each other instead of their lips, for every drink they shared instead of a night. They both were so into the kiss they forgot they were sitting on a wall without a backrest, and when none of them seemed to notice and stabilize themselves, they slipped and fell into the fountain. Although that didn’t stop them from kissing, there was some giggling and then they got back into planting kisses and soft bites at each other’s lips, Claudius laying on top of Val, both soaked wet, and completely content.
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notttt-che · 7 years
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Yet another sketchbook video! I heard of many monthly art challenges such as “shiptember” and I believe I saw a video where that challenge for September was to draw people in underwear...I wanted to try them all but I didn’t in the end orz. Even so, September is not finished yet so I might give those prompts a try!
Most of them are OCs! Border 8 charas appears from 0:16 to 0:33...Those are some heavy spoilers but I don’t know when Border 8 is going to be developed and I’m pretty sure nobody will ever remember. Aside from that, there are some minor re-designs for Jona and Azure from Book of Monsters. I basically gave Jona a messier hair, some small freckles and a tad more of muscle in her arms(I know it doesn’t show in the sketch but I wrote next to her so I can remember :A:!) I changed a bit of Azure(shark guy) as well, since he is based in a blue shark, I made his nostrils more similar to the ones of the animal and added a bit of red tint to them and his lips, which now should have a downwards curve...I changed his hairstyle to be longer and less spiky. In comparison to the heroine, he is really big(His kin is called “people of the sea” and they are like giants, Azure, even if he is big by human standards, he is small compared to his kind)
I think I drew some fanart as well(Cutting this part with a “read more” because of fan ramblings)
By the way! I might finish with commissions early next week so I will disappear once again from the internet for more Infurubia’s development(This time for real, thank you again for your kind understanding!)
I recently get to know about Star Ocean Anamnesis and damn I really want a phone now XD I loved LOVED SO2 and SO3(Even if relations between characters weren’t as cool as the ones of 2) I first drew Nel with the wedding dress of the game(It’s a weird choice IMO, but it’s kinda cute as well) and my little shipper shit self couldn’t resist adding Albel because I shipped them so much back then(I did fanart and two fan comics of them haha. Never will show those I read them the other day and I feel so shitty for the OOC) After them, I liked Maria a lot too and watching some LP in youtube recently I realized I liked Fayt as well because how silly his righteousness was.
Then I drew another with Celine and Dias which were my very early OTP of SO2. I don’t know why I always end up shipping the sorcerer and the swordman together lol. I liked Leon too which was strange because I hated child characters back then(Pretty much because I was a child as well lol) Rena and Claude were fine MCs. I liked to play with Rena better because it was easier to beat the game for some reason with Dias in my party. Sadly I didn’t know much about the internet so I never knew about the secret dungeon where you get Leon’s strongest spell(I’m still bitter I didn’t know about that, I spent so many hours grinding in the one in SO3...Searching for Lenneth to shout Nibelung Valesti XD)
I want to draw more fanart in the future like this. It felt good to remember these characters I liked so much :u;
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the-harvester · 7 years
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An Open Letter:: A Shift in Perception
Hello, everyone. This is VT. No, not Astire, aka both VT and CZ at once. Just VT.
Before you worry, yes this is a serious post, but no, this isn’t about some end-to-The-Harvester news or anything. I just need to have a serious heart-to-heart with you all.
My reason for writing TH started to shift. And, it’s time I shift it back. [More under the cut. Long post, but please take a moment to read.]
I’ll cut straight to the point, and the reason why I’m writing this. As of late, I have had little drive to write The Harvester with my partner, @chillachompers, aka CZ. I assumed it was because we were both busy, myself especially, but that wasn’t the root of it. Truncated version; I’d stopped writing for the enjoyment of it, and started writing with readers in mind first and foremost. I wrote to please everyone and to make a good, presentable story for people to enjoy. And you may be thinking, yeah VT, that’s the whole point! It’s a long-running fanfiction that you’re posting, of course that should be your priorit-
The Harvester was never created with the intention to share it.
Sharing it was... my idea. I got excited that CZ and I had something really good going, and that someone else should be able to see it, and might find enjoyment in it. Back then, the story was simple arcs 1-4, and then a few little other things. Maybe a 5th arc. That was it. Now it’s, quite amazingly, turned into a multi-series thing. And, the problem is... somewhere along the line, I became so focused on the story being as solid and well-executed as it possibly could be, to the point of no longer really enjoying the writing like I originally did. It became a mild chore instead of a break from work. And. I hate that. I hate my hobbies turning into chores.
Now, here’s the thing. A lot of this is on me. Most of it, in fact. CZ, for one, has no fault in this. I’ve always been the one to push things the extra step too far in the pursuit of ‘perfection’. It’s cost me dozens of hours of sleep with editing, actually caused me to stress out about writing a chapter that should be a light comedy romp, and to just... have negative feelings towards TH. I started writing to please fans and keep people happy with as little mistakes as possible instead of to enjoy myself.
Some may have the mentality that if we’re sharing this on the internet... that opens it up for critique. Even harsh critique. To some, that’s just the nature of posting things online. And I get it, I can’t stop you from seeing TH as something crafted for you and your enjoyment. But, I do really need to get something off my chest before it ever even has a chance to become a problem, because my anxiety loves to say the worst of my fears will happen.
The bottom line, is... The Harvester isn’t a Fanfiction written for readers. It isn’t a novel series. It’s a long-running, Steven Universe-inspired Roleplay between two friends with an extensive story and lots of OC’s. But it’s deeper than that. More personal. The Harvester is, at its core, a very therapeutic hobby. It’s very. Very hard to admit that out loud, it really is, because posting TH already feels vulnerable enough as it is, much less without people knowing what it is. This story branched off from a joke. A joke between friends about Yellow Diamond being drunkenly fused with my old Gemsona, Hematite. Then it somehow turned into what it is today. From the very start, it was just... a way for CZ and I to bond, to grow closer, to, though we didn’t know it at the time of starting, fight some really serious inner demons. It may seem silly to some people, but it’s very real to us, and the effect it’s had on our lives is undeniable, even if the effects have been behind closed doors.
The Harvester was never meant for other eyes. We didn’t have a ‘proper editor,’ we didn’t care that much about punctuation and grammar being correct, and we didn’t analyze everything for possible plot holes or contrivances. I didn’t do those things. But somewhere down the line... I started caring more about those things than the story and characters themselves. I was so focused on certain scenes going a certain way that I would actually pull them along forcefully, limiting what characters could do or say in response to a situation. And that’s... not what it was supposed to be. TH was always a wing-it sort of story with general guidelines and then loose chapter concepts. That had to be chipped away as things got more complex, but... the focus was lost, for me. MY focus was lost. I started nitpicking so much on stripping bad bark from trees that I didn’t pay attention to the forest.
So that brings me to the point of this letter.
The Harvester is a roleplay story written for fun by two dear friends, whom decided to share their story with the internet. We, of course, don’t want to just cut everyone off from this. I know CZ doesn’t want it, and I certainly don’t want it, either. I know people like this story and would be sad to see it go.
But I can’t keep writing this with the mindset that I’m making a product for the scrutiny of online readers, for fans, 95% of which I don’t even know personally. And that’s what brings me to this:
The Harvester won’t always be perfect. Far from it. That’s just how it is. It’s written by two stressed-out, busy, nerdy young adult artists who like big gems and drama. It’ll have typos, it’ll have all sorts of grammatical errors, it’ll have off moments, it’ll have plot holes, contrivances, characters acting a bit out of character now and then, it’ll have moments that go too far, moments that don’t go far enough, just like any piece of created media. It shouldn’t have to have a ‘quality meter.’ I shouldn’t be measuring a hobby with a close friend of mine by some self-created standard. I shouldn’t be sacrificing nights of sleep over editing every error out of a chapter. I shouldn’t stress out over writing about my own characters with one of my best friends, whose characters I love dearly. I shouldn’t be striving to perfect something so integrally personal as a story like this. One day when I start making my own fictions, sure, I’ll have that high standard.
But for now? Well... There’s nothing for you, as a reader, to take from this other than this: We do like hearing from you. We enjoy hearing your theories and thoughts. We like seeing your fanart. The fact that our hobby could bring a smile to anyone is mind boggling to us, in a good way.
But just know, right now, that TH is flawed. It always will be, because nothing is perfect. We’re two stressed-out, sometimes absent-minded people just trying to write something that makes us happy. We’re going to sometimes write some cliche, predictable, badly paced stuff, but we’ll also write some really good, heart-wrenching stuff. It’s just the nature of things. All I’m saying is, please don’t see this as something made for viewers. It isn’t... It’s just. Something we choose to share. And, this isn’t to say that we’re trying to avoid criticism, people will be critical of something they like. Just keep in mind what TH is at its core. It’s inherently extremely personal and close to our hearts, and every character has a piece of us in them. We’re not trying to write it to impress anyone or be the next JK Rowlings or Rebecca Sugars. We’re just writing it to have fun, to cope with some serious issues in our day-to-day lives. CZ’s always kept sight of that.
It’s time I do the same.
Everyone take care, and we will see you soon enough with the start of arc 6. We’re unsure when, but we’re aiming for before the end of June. We aren’t going to rush ourselves, though. It will be worth the wait.
It may seem selfish, but I have to go back to writing this for me. For CZ. For us. And I hope you’ll understand that ‘selfishness’ comes from a place of passion and a desire to keep a flame burning for TH. We’re not going to take TH in some drastic direction... but I am going to try and stop caring so much whether the story is perfectly crafted.
It just has to be fun.
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zagenta · 7 years
Text
hear me out for a sec
Tbh all that’s left of the good h/a/m/ilton content that isn’t just pretty fanart of the musical is rly intriguing b/c i feel like it exists on this plane of existence completely separate from actual history or even the musical? Do you know what I mean?
Like I know its usually considered OOC writing for characters to be unlike canon but all the really interesting content i’ve consumed has evolved the characters so that they’re far more interesting their their canon counterparts, b/c ppl are using the bare bones of what was once probably a historical demon man to base a template for a fully fleshed out character. There’s been some really great content that delves into exploration of sexuality, gender, race, etc that’s based primarily on ppls interpretations, although that’s probably bc at this point i primarily only look at content by authors of color that talk abt LGBT+ characters of color.
Honestly it’s an excuse for some real creativity and exploration of intimate subject matter.
The femslash and the next gen stuff is a great example. Originally this post was going to be a joke that I was gonna write an original story featuring the hamilton next gen and nobody would have any idea, but really its true. Ppl have fabricated personalities out of practically nothing or very little historical info for characters that have very small roles or are completely cut from the diegesis such as Frances Laurens, Dolley Madison, Maria Cosway, Maria Reynolds, Martha Manning, Theodosia Jr, Georges and Adrienne, etc and I think that’s amazing!
And these practically fanmade characters are given stories that touch on LGBT+ themes, parental/child dynamics, drugs, racism, mental illness, art, music, etc. It’s surprisingly mature, and these characters expand upon the themes of the original text and adds additional themes and making it better, more palatable, and more satisfying.
 Almost always set in a creative setting or a modern setting.
Not that there isn’t that mountain of weird fetish-y romanticization works from the fandom, there is, but at this point i’ve learned to tune it out. I just think its amazing how fans can expand a pretty problematic original text into something far more interesting (it’s actually a pretty similar phenomenon to what happened with T/w/i/light, 50 shades fiasco aside). There’s lots of cringey stuff, but the same fan cliches can also be used to great effect.
Perfect example? Nonbinary Laf: often a cringey token nonbinary flamboyant european gay stereotype or an excuse to fetishize daveed, but i’ve also seen (and written, not to hype myself up too much) works that show a lot of depth to his character, his defiant flamboyancy being an act of queer transgression, that are a lot more introspective on the experience of being a nonbinary or bisexual person and parent, an outsider.
Often its the stereotypes that were used to the point of exhaustion by white fandom that we reclaimed to spin in a more nuanced light (some of it we worked to deconstruct b/c it was just nasty but other stuff we’ve reclaimed).
Because seriously, what fans of color have done w/ the show vs. what white fans have done is honestly incomparable. I mean, I doubt Israa still cares abt this demon musical, but her fics were serious artistry. Same w/ Dia, but Sorry About the Blood in Your Mouth is AMAZING. And Peaches’ Maria Cosway Certified Lesbian is the most charming thing on the planet. I even think the silly shit has its merits. 
& its strange, b/c most of these characters are so unlike their original counterparts, or were created from whole cloth, so they feel much more like *mine* than any character on some whitebread m/a/r/v/e/l show could be. And while, H/a/m/i/l/ton, as problematic as it is, is probably quite literally a masterpiece, these characters really don’t belong to the musical or to history. Sure they may inhabit the same names, but they’re not the same.
Butch lesbian Peggy is OURS, its not the musical’s. Stoner John Laurens, (silly as it might seem) is ours (well, its Vic’s), not the musical’s. Nonbinary Lafayette is OURS. Butch lesbian Frances Laurens with a F/un H/ome dynamic with her fucked up gay dad is ours. Technically-not-siblings/best-friend-cousins Philip and Frances is OURs. (I’d argue even the more problematic ones like Mads & TJ are so removed from the historical and musical reality that they fall under this category, fucked up as it seems).
They’re their own characters, they exist in a universe tangential to history and the musical but not the same one.
--And I’m gonna veer off into self-indulgent territory, but as far as my own involvement in fandom goes, I personally put a lot of work into this alternate universe. Closeted, ambitious, perfectionist Dolley Payne is mine. Gangly, neurotic, awkward gay Georges is mine. Angelica/Dolley the ambitious power couple is mine. Queer anarchist rebel Virginie de Lafayette is mine. They’re MY characters, and I’m extremely proud of them.
tbh im just gonna admit that me focusing on second generation of kids like Frances & Philip & etc and the women both in the show & that weren’t rly in it like Eliza & Angelica & Dolley & shit is how i reconcile w/ myself for H/a/m/ilton being a show based on the demon fathers & its not a perfect solution but tbh it gives me an excuse to just make up shit that are basically my own OCs bc half the characters i writer abt were never in the show. I know its basically an excuse to assuage my own guilt but there it is.
Anyways im not rly sure how to end this, if we’re mutuals i’d rly like your input. And pls don’t let this circulate around, i especially dont want antis to see it nor particularly do i care abt white fans’ opinions either
also i know this is super apologist i just wanted to express an idea
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