#but I didn't write Missa's PoV so....

[factorialsotherfandoms]

Canon-adjacent (implied no respawns, or at least heavily impaired respawns, but otherwise canon-ish setting) platonic husbands philza and missa with philza getting himself into a good deal of bother.

TW: needles, blood, major character injury, implied temporary major character death, panic attacks

The mob was new. Of all the things that could do such harm to Philza... there's a lot of them, if he's insufficiently careful, but this one was new. New, and unpredictable, and now very dead.

Very dead, but having left a giant gash from Philza's ribs on one side, to his opposing hip. It's bleeding - heavily - but nothing a potion can't fix.

Philza puts pressure on the wound with one hand, and searches his bag with the other. He grabs a couple of potions - it's a nasty looking wound, and he's already feeling weak - drinking them or pouring them on it as the bottles dictate.

He gives them a second, then another, and the wound doesn't close.

Before he's even had the chance to think /shit/, or /poison/, or /what the fuck was on that mob's stupid scythe/, he has both hands on the injury. His first hand - the hand with his communicator on - is looking pretty gorey already. He puts pressure, realises it's barely helping, then slips his hands around.

He grabs the edges of his skin, pinches them together, and he thinks /okay, fuck, what do I do now?/

For once, Philza does not have an answer. He's a good distance from spawn, his communicator is soaked in blood to the point he isn't sure it'll work and he's very sure he can't see the screen, and if he moves he'll bleed faster. There's also the niggling knowledge in the back of his mind that his thinking is impaired, that he's poisoned and it's likely to have more effects than just preventing his wound closing, that right now if he acts on anything he comes up with then he'll do something extremely dumb.

There's no winning, not when he's having thoughts like that.

Staying put is a shit plan, it's a completely shit plan, and he's pretty sure all versions of him would agree. No matter how he holds the wound he's still bleeding, blood bubbling out between his fingers. If he stays here, in a random glade, a couple of hundred blocks north of the closest build, he's going to die.

If he gets up, if he tries to walk those few hundred blocks... With where the wound is, every single step is going to shift it. He won't be able to pinch the wound closed as he is now, and with every step any healing that's miraculously happened will be undone. He might even tear the damn thing more. He's a couple of hundred blocks north of the Hide and Seek Arena, and nobody's even going to be there at this time of day; if he tries to walk, he's going to die.

What else? What else? He tries to bash his communicator to life, just in case. He keeps the HOLD switch on when he doesn't need it, usually. With his ring finger he manages to reach said switch, and try to flick it. The blood has gotten into the mechanism, disabling it. And with HOLD on... Even if the other buttons escaped the worst, they'll be disabled to. If he gets out of this, he's begging Tubbo or Aypierre or Pac or /someone/ to redesign the damn things, make them blood proof. He's not going to get out of this, though.

He's going to die, and it's going to fucking suck.

Those are, as far as he can tell, his options. None of them are survivable, but at least if he's walking he's /trying/ to live. It'll kill him faster than waiting for help, sure, but Philza's never been much good at standing still.

He pushes up from the tree, and gets eight steps before his knees buckle beneath him.

His hands fly from the wound to catch himself, then back to it to close it back up.

Philza might not be thinking straight, and he might not be good at sitting still, but he's nothing if not stubborn. He grits his teeth, and pinches the wound closed, and drags himself to his feet.

He makes it ten steps, then fifteen, then a whole thirty before he can only make it four. With every attempt his vision grows a little darker, his heart a little faster, his teeth set a little harder into their grimace.

He still gets back up, and gets back up, and gets back up until -

Until he can't any more.

In a hazy blur Philza tries his comms again - still not working - before letting go with one hand. He bleeds even faster without it, yes, but like this? He's too exposed, too exposed, and he can hear the wolves coming. Wolves who might be fine, but might also be looking for an easy meal.

Even dying his instincts kick in; Philza drags himself into a more defensible position, and clamps his fingers around the wound once more.

His body already sprawled on the floor, it's impossible to fall further when his eyes slip shut. Vaguely, vaguely, he's aware of his fingers falling limp, away from the wound and /ah/ he thinks /well, we had a good run, didn't we universe?/.

The universe doesn't answer, or if it does Philza's too far gone to hear it. Maybe the acceptance should scare him, but as he lays beneath a tree, it feels warm, it feels gentle - it feels like coming home.

There's something on the tip of his tongue, some memory just out of reach, some deep-set knowledge he really must know.

He doesn't chase it, he simply leans into the warmth and tries to let go.

"Phil!"

... Missa?

He might be too weak to hear the universe, but not the terrified scream of his husband.

It drives Philza, that flicker of a scream. He manages to get one arm under himself, push up, and-

And he doesn't even get to see the terrified man sprinting towards him, as his vision stays black and his body collapses back to the floor.

---

Philza doesn't expect to wake, not to silence and certainly not to soft Spanish sung by a hoarse voice. Whatever pillows his head is oddly shaped but warm, though everywhere else is freezing despite the weight of blankets. An arm is draped over him, and fingers brush through his hair.

He's also in a fucktonne of pain.

The singing hitches like a sob and - yeah no, that's not an angel, Philza's somehow fucking alive.

He'll take it, but it fucking sucks.

Memories are difficult, fragmented. He's...

He's supposed to be holding shut the wound in his side and /fuck/!

Limbs like lead, Philza tries to move, tries to pinch his bleeding flesh shut once again. It's hard, it should be impossible, but he's Philza Fucking Minecraft and he refuses to die!

He refuses, but one of those arms shifts, tries to stop him. Someone kisses the top of his head, shifts to hold his hands, whispers "you're alright, you're okay" in a gentle tone.

The singer, the singer whose name sits beneath his tongue and Philza can't quite grasp it, but he knows they are /wonderful/, /amazing/, his entire fucking /world/.

Well, maybe not all of it, but a massive fuck-off chunk of it at least.

And it is alright, he is okay, until something catches against his wound.

White hot agony, trailing up and down his entire spine.

Philza... Philza doesn't tense, doesn't scream, doesn't fight - his instincts are strong and his instincts have saved him before and he's just an injured, mutilated bird in the hands of a predator and for a moment all he knows is fucking pain and PLAY DEAD.

He doesn't tense at the pain, he goes limp. He can't even choose how his breathing catches - stopped in his throat, wings slack, body slack, unmoving and unresponsive as can be.

Someone calls his name, but blind pain and blind terror are winning, as in the certainty that he must survive. His name comes again, more frantic, then as a scream-

A scream.

A familiar scream that isn't his own and-

Oh, /fuck/, humans don't play dead in the same way, do they?

Through the pain and the fear and the hands on him it's hard, it's so hard - harder still when he hears running feet from else where and everything he is screams /predator, predator, predator/ - but he does it.

Philza takes a deep, loud, gasping, purposeful breath, forces his body to lock again, forces himself to stop playing, to breathe.

The wonderful voice above him stops screaming and starts sobbing, fingers tracing his jawline as he sobs over and over again.

The running feet stop, and there's a discussion in quick, panicked Spanish - too quick for any Philza, but especially for an injured one - before other hands are touching him, pressing him, assessing him.

His instincts are desperate but Philza remembers the screams before. The fight is exhausting, harder than it should be, but he forces himself to keep breathing, keep breathing, keep breathing. Just for the voice, just for the wonderful person who owns the voice and he knows means the world to him.

He tries to stay awake, he really does, but there's only so much he can do. He's tired, and breathing is /exhausting/, and the lovely voice belonging to a stupid but brilliant man isn't singing to him any more, and the longer he's here the more he realises he must actually, legitimately, be safe.

Safe, what a funny idea. But a nice one.

Philza gives in to temptation, and lets himself fade.

If he's safe, he can let consciousness be someone else's problem.

---

Philza wakes next to a warm pillow, and frozen blankets, and the distinct smell of honey tea. There's no singing this time, but familiar fingers trace his cheek and Philza feels them and thinks /Missa/.

There's a steady bip bip, and a sting, and his existence is cloudy with painkillers.

All of those sensations - every single one - adds up to /probably/ a good thing.

This time, awake, Philza manages to open his eyes. His vision is blurry, but the light is dim, and he's able to drink in the image of his husband above him sipping on a steaming mug.

Missa's eyes gaze vacantly into the distance. Philza does not chase them down. Instead he reaches up a shaking hand, just about managing to make it high enough to stroke Missa's cheek.

He sees Missa blink, and look down, and whisper "Phil?"

Philza can only gather so much strength, but he smiles his soft smile and mouths back "Missa".

---

A few hours and a nap later, Philza is sat against Missa's chest, and curled in his arms. They're both in an exhausted daze, Philza never having really quite left one, and Missa having been running on fear for too long. It strains the stitches a little, but not so much it bleeds, and Philza will live.

He's had the summary of what happened - Missa found him in the woods, bought him back, called for help healing him even as he cleaned and stitched the wound himself. There's talk of the poison, about it being new, and the struggle to synthesise an antidote before they ran out of blood they could give him.

From the haunted look in everyone's eyes, it was a fucking close run thing.

He'll have to thank Pac and Mike later, for that. He's already asked Fit to pass the message on, along with dropping his communicator off for cleaning, upgrade, and repairs, but, fuck, he knows the sort of toll the two are willing to put themselves through for people, and he knows he owes them.

He hopes Mike stopped Pac poisoning himself this time - Jesus Fucking Christ that man will be the death of Fit one of these days - and given the turn around might even be correct about it.

Silver lining - there's now an antidote for the next time someone runs into one of those fucks, and Aypierre is already working on a way to mass produce it.

And then there's Roier to thank, who might still give Missa side eye at times - and what even happened there - but who knows his way around the hospital /and/ seems to have kept his husband something approximating calm, and then Tubbo let slip they'd had to round up blood donations from everyone compatible to keep him alive and make up for the blood loss and, fuck, at this point he should probably get Chayanne to help him batch cook a /lot/ of shortbread to box up and hand around.

And then there's Missa, his Missa...

He's not sure /why/ Missa sang until his throat could barely function, especially when Philza was too unconscious to appreciate it, but...

But it was also Missa who found him, who saved him.

Philza presses a kiss to his fingers, then presses those fingers against Missa's throat.

"Hm?" Missa asks. "Phil?"

"Thank you," Philza shifts his hand, keeping the backs of his fingers against Missa's throat as he strokes along his chin with his thumb.

"I didn't do much," Missa whispers, his voice still suffering.

"You found me," Philza says. "You saved me."

"The... wolves?" his voice lilts slightly on the word - with Philza's communicator gone and head missing a significant proportion of blood assigned to it, they're stuck in English. "They found you."

"They would have eaten me, not saved me."

"No!" Missa's eyes widen, and arms tighten around him. "No, they are good- good boys!"

"I'm teasing," Philza promises, and maybe he is now but it had been a very genuine fear at the time. "I'm teasing, it's okay, I'm okay..."

He's not, he feels like death, and the painkillers he's been given will wear off soon. But, he's breathing, he's alive, and it doesn't look like that's changing any time soon.

Missa curls around him, hugging him close, protecting him from all sides. It's a position Philza is intimately familiar with, having done it so many times for his children.

"I was scared," Missa's voice breaks. "I was scared - you scared me."

"I'm sorry," and Philza /is/, he never - he's never wanted to be the cause of such worry, such fear. "Missa, I- I'm so sorry."

"You were dead," Missa says, the sobs free and almost drowning his struggling voice. "You were dead, in my arms. I held you dead in my arms."

A mistranslation? Philza wouldn't be here, if he were dead, he knows that much for sure.

"I'm right here," Philza promises, rather than call out his confusion; English is hard, and it's no time for a grammar lesson. "You got my dumb ass out of there, and got help. We're okay, I'm okay."

"Don't leave me," Missa answers. "You're- you're- banned! No leaving me, never leaving me."

Philza doesn't think his words are reaching through the tears; he pools his strength, and reaches up, and holds his husband close. Missa's arms wrap around his chest - not tight, moving as he breathes and clinging to that pace.

"We're okay," Philza whispers - despite the exhaustion, despite the pain, despite the catheter still in his arm just in case the bleeding restarts and he needs another transfusion, despite how controlling his body is like piloting sludge. "We're okay."

And maybe, this time, they will be.

[mossy123302]

I am not exactly entirely good with character or relationship analysis (A reason why my dumb fox head is aroace because I am not good w/ navigating romantic relationships)

So this is just my best effort writing the dynamic Q! Philza and Q! Missa have.

I do like to headcanon, like others, that Philza is indeed aroace, but not in a way, that like he doesn't understand what platonic or romantic means. Sure, it's funny to tease Philza about it, but it's also true that close friends could very much do so. I think Philza is quite aware of what is romantic and platonic, he knows the boundaries of it. I mean Philza is literally married to the Goddess of Death (implied) Kristin. It's more or less that Philza doesn't simply care for such labels. (I very much hc that Philza could probably be genderfluid, like me- Peeposmile)

It's something Philza even mentioned in the live stream when talking about the deities in hardcore world. It's something they don't care about and just vibe with whatever they're vibing with. They don't care and I think Philza is the same in that mindset. He just doesn't care, and will be blunt about it, if he needs to actually talk about it.

Philza seems to deeply cherish those that are ... similar to himself from what I can tell. I don't fully watch Fit or other POV to get a clear understanding of Phil's relationship w/ others so I'm sorry if I don't include them, same with Technoblade. I've recently started watching mcyt again and I don't want to talk about something I don't have a full understanding of.

Anyways, Phil deeply connects with those that share similar traits to him in some regard. Techno whose the Blood God, who clearly has an understanding of death, war and loyalty and this clearly shows via Missa too. Missa, while not a fighter, does understand death and how important it is... He literally is a gentle grim reaper. He understands death much clearly, because his mother is also a Goddess tied to Death as well. Missa is also fiercely loyal to Phil and his children, because honestly, he was so busy! He didn't have to return to Quesadilla Island but he did because he cares about Phil and his children, quickly adopted Tallulah and he hadn't even seen her yet.

Whoever Phil trusted and guards with his life, Missa will guard that person with his life as well. Of course, unless, we talk about BadboyHalo then that's another discussion LOL. Such a mess between the demon (?) and grim reaper.

Anyways, we know how much Phil values such loyalty that, I cannot remember what Tubbo said, but he immediately locked Tubbo out of his own home because of what he said about someone and while despite implied flings with others. Philza never spoke about others the way he speaks about Missa.

Their relationship definitely...crosses the line of platonic and romantic. I can see why it would be considered queer platonic relationship, but also at the same time, it's like there is some line being breached which makes everyone raise an eyebrow cause sir, what do you mean platonic-

Philza is clearly...possessive over Missa, because the way he got so defensive when Bagi mentions Antoine (right?) and Missa should date. Philza didn't have to get so defensive, because Missa already immediately denied. Philza could have kissed anyone else, like Fit, but chose Missa instead. He even demanded Tall Missa to the admins, got jealous over any shipping fanart and acts like he's fine and doesn't miss Missa at all. *Coughs in* "I'm going to f*cking off myself. Did Missa log on again?!" (Side eye Philza)

Like he's done lots of things that makes everyone just raise an eyebrow- Philza is fooling no one but himself (& Missa)

I also enjoy the lore Missa has going on with accepting that he is indeed a part of the family and isn't alone. Missa had just lost Spreen, and suddenly, he had no one but the Angel of Death as his assigned partner. Missa must have felt so unmatched compared to Philza because what could he even offer to the family? He had nothing but his music and kind words, which is everyone that Death Family wanted. Missa brought a different change to the family that makes them be vulnerable, to not be so serious all the time and to actually just relax and be like a family that's just on vacation.

I mean, and just talking about loyalty and kindness. Missa never gave up... He fought his way back, despite getting taken away by wolves and suddenly Badboyhalo being so cruel. He always made sure his family was safe and always brought something for them.

Didn't Missa say he got lost because he tried to find a gift for Philza?! Like...the commitment to find a perfect gift for Philza, and still returning (sure, without the gift). While it's hilarious, Missa doesn't run away because of his wet cat behavior. He runs away because he doesn't want to put his family in danger, he cannot fight as well as others can. He relies on others to fight for him and then he jumps in to help, but because the time zone doesn't allow such things. Missa is forced to run.

And Missa is good at it. He will run as far as he can, if it means his family will be safe. He isn't running away from his family, but the danger because at the end of it all, he will return back to his family, no matter how long it takes.

And Missa casually admitted to Chayanne that he needs Philza more than he realized, the same way Philza realizes he needed Missa but didn't dare admit, whether it is out of fear or something else that he couldn't voice it. But Philza clearly showed it through his actions, that he brought/dragged Missa to Rose's Sanctuary before they went to sleep forever. He didn't have to do so, but he did... indicating their bond is much deeper because Rose's Sanctuary is literally a pocket dimension that no one cannot access.

Missa has access. Now he sleeps eternally with his family...

Also their whole dynamic just being Sun/Moon. Fated to never see each other at times, until an eclipse and yet...they still leave signs to let the other know that they're still remembered. This also brought to my attention how Missa is afraid of the sky, while Philza yearns for the sky/to fly.

You think The Sun (Philza) misses the Moon (Missa) so much, because of how far they are, instead of just not seeing each other. The Moon clings to Earth, because they're afraid to go beyond...to something unknown while the Sun cannot stay still, and yearns to burn and be free.

Deathduo/Pissa has me on chokehold.

I do hope this was an interesting analysis, I'm not very good at this..honestly it's probably just me rambling if anything.

[bagely]

HI! this is a translation of a fanfic I already published in AO3 but, I'm trying to prove myself and write in english, Soo yeah my first lenguaje it's not english is Spanish and because of that this work would have some mistakes 😬 sorry for that I do my best but I'm still just learning, so you can correct me, I would appreciate that.

Oh, and its in Missa's pov

Title: Can I have your number?

Words: 2,009

Ao3 link:

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

I walked through the door of the small university café, feeling the warm aroma of coffee fill my senses.

The barista, whose name is Starboby, was very welcoming, and there was nothing strange about her until I saw the bar where someone was preparing coffee with their back turned. I didn't recognize that haircut or the same tone, and I could say that with certainty since I had worked part-time at this place many times before.

«It seems like Roier has hired someone new» I thought, as I didn't recognize any of Roier's blonde friends. There weren't many people in the place, it was still very early. I adjusted my hair, which was longer than usual and a bit uncomfortable.

I walked confidently to the bar, and the barista turned around when she heard my steps and stood in front of me, several meters away. I stopped instantly.

"Oh, I didn't hear you," he said with a warm and cheerful voice while smiling at me. "Do you need anything?"

He was gathering some hair into a ponytail, and her deep blue eyes stirred something within me.

«WHY IS HE SO HANDSOME» I started feeling my heart stop or perhaps start beating so fast that I couldn't measure it myself.

"Uhm... I...just–" I was trying to forced myself to talk. I took a step back and said, "uh... I forgot something... I, uhm... goodbye"

Did I run away or walk very fast? I don't know, the point is that I was already two blocks away from that café. I slap myself.

«Missa, why do you always embarrass yourself? Fool, idiot, idiot...» I wanted to hit myself harder.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

A few days had passed, and I had "forgotten" (or rather ignored to maintain my sanity) that encounter at the café.

Rivers, a classmate, ask me if we want to do some homework together, and since my house was a mess due to my lack of organization, she decided it would be better to go to Starboby, Roier's café at the university. And here I am again, and he is here.

If someone asked me to organize the 5 most embarrassing moments of my life, what happened in this café a few days ago would occupy the top 5 places.

I'm behind my computer while looking at him, hoping he doesn't notice. After half an hour in the place, I only know one thing about him, and that is his name, which is Philza, and I only know that because I noticed the shiny name tag that I didn't see on my first visit.

I want to ask for his number... I would love to be able to get up and approach him, act like a normal person, and just talk to him, but at this point, I'm sure he thinks I'm a weirdo. I am a weirdo, but I don't like to think that he knows it.

"You could ask Roier for his number," Rivers brought one of her pens to my face and started poking my cheek with it insistently.

"And seem like a stalker? No, thanks," I replied in a somewhat annoyed tone because of what she was doing to my face, but I couldn't complain much anyway since I'm a bit behind on our task.

"Sure, you don't want to seem weird to your boyfriend," she started sarcastically, and she moved away from me in her chair while rolling her eyes. "Okay, be subtle and keep staring at him like a crow."

"I'm not...–" I don't even know what I was about to say because my mind freeze when my eyes were caught by his.

«Did he notice?» I felt a bit scared, I immediately looked away, but I heard a slight laugh coming from him. «he got me.» my face is completely red. I couldn't look in his direction for the rest of the afternoon, which was beneficial for Rivers since we were able to finish some work in one day and organize the ones we have left.

I started packing up my things to leave the café, and I felt someone behind me. My body tensed up when I turned around and saw him there. Time felt slow as he handed me a piece of paper. «His number?» That thought made me blush again until I looked down to see the piece of paper he had given me.

"Thank you for coming," he smiled at me, well, at us, Rivers is still here saddly "Again."

I'm sure that last part is for me, but he only gave me a receipt, just a receipt.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Today the café is a bit more crowded, it's rush hour, so I should have expected it. The line is at least 10 people long, and when it's my turn, I find myself too excited. I'm at the front, and I see him. He smiles at me but turns and moves away behind a door to the back. I'm late.

"Missa, what's up?" Roier is now at the bar, smiling at me as if he had just heard the best joke in the world. "Have you seen my new barista?" The look Roier gave me was so indiscreet that I almost hit him, it's obvious that Rivers told him everything.

I restrain any aggressive impulse that grows within me because if I expose myself more than I already am, I'm sure he won't leave me alone.

"Cold coffee, and remember to sweeten it well... You always make it a bit bitter," I tell him, completely avoiding the topic.

He laughs and turns around to start doing what I asked. I lower my head to the counter where the desserts are, I only came to the place for coffee and to see Phil, but it wouldn't hurt to have a donut anyway, one of the things I wanted to see wasn't there, I need a consolation prize.

"Are you ordering something?" That voice makes my heart skip a beat, and it makes me lift my head to see Philza on the other side of the bar with his ever-present kind and reassuring smile. I could die at that moment and be satisfied. "Didn't he finish his shift? Oh, it doesn't matter, my prayers were answered," I say.

"Yes," I say, perhaps a bit too loud.

"Phil! I see you've met Missa," Roier's joyful voice also stirs my guts, but in an unpleasant way, as I'm sure of what's coming.

"Oh, yeah, I've talked to him before," Philza replied, nodding.

I'm not saying anything, and it's awkward because this conversation is about me, but I can't do it, everything in me prevents me from commenting on what's happening.

"You need to treat him well" Roier speaks again, and I have the urge to run away from there, again. "He's not new here, he's one of our most loyal part-timers. A VIP customer," Roier says.

"Roier, no, don't exaggerate," I finally speak, looking into the brown eyes and begging him with my eyes to shut up for once.

"I see," Philza laughs, I notice how easy it seems to make that man laugh, which defensively doesn't bother me, I would love to hear that laughter for longer. I look at him again, and he returns the gaze. "I'll take good care of him then."

If he continues to be like that, I'll probably have a heart attack and die.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

It's almost the end of autumn, which means it's been a month since I met Philza, and I still haven't asked for his number. But I'm making progress, I'm at the point where I can say a complete sentence without stuttering. Anyway, I'm sure he thinks I'm weird because that's the only part of my personality that I've shown him throughout this month.

I'm at the café again, but I'm smart and learn from my mistakes. I don't go to the café during hours when I'm sure Roier will be there. I made that mistake twice, the last time was last week, and the man managed to embarrass me by telling Phil about all my mistakes when I was a rookie.

I'm not hiding behind my laptop this time; I'm "reading" a book. I read on the internet that people who look intelligent are more attractive, and I must use everything I can to my advantage.

Although I haven't talked to him much, I now know a few more things about Phil than just his name. For example, he's 25 years old, which means he's only three years older than me, and apparently, he knows Roier from his boyfriend, and knowing Cellbit's great social skills, he's probably a classmate or a fellow student.

Among the little things I know, I also managed to ask him if he's dating someone in the most discreet way possible, which means I told Rivers to ask him, and I was next to her to listen, and miraculously, the answer was no. I had never felt luckier in my life. I think I almost screamed when I found out, almost because I managed to maintain my composure as much as I could.

"Are you going to order something?" His voice, his terribly charming voice, snapped me out of my thoughts. I didn't realize when he had approached me, placing his hand on the table in front of me.

«Your number» I didn't say it. I wish I had said it. Damn it.

"I'm... I'm fine, you know, just chill.. yeah.." I said, and I'm sure that every word coming out of my mouth It's getting worse and worse.

"Right " He said, and I felt something strange inside me when he sighed after speaking.

Phil seems very committed to his work, he always comes to ask me if I need anything, even if there are several people around. It's very admirable.

He's about to lift his hand from the table and walk away, but I don't want him to. There's no one else here, and a force that I hadn't felt all month pulls my hand, tugging at the sleeve of his white shirt, back to the table.

I turn to look at him, and that momentary force leaves my body.

"Yes?" He asks with a lopsided smile that suits him torturously well.

My eyes sink to the ground. I can only see his shoes and mine.

"Uh could you...uhm" I'm sure I must look like an elf, with my ears burning from the amount of embarrassment I feel. "Can I have your number?" Somehow, that sentence came out in full.

"I already gave it to you."

"WHAT?" I shout. Because there's no other way to express what was going through my head at that moment. I'm trying and searching through hundreds of memories if that ever happened and I have nothing...

"You threw it in the trash, I thought you had rejected me and now you were just giving me confusing signals." Well, with that, I raised my head, he still looked calm, only with a hint of blush almost imperceptible on his cheeks.

"Who was giving confusing signals to who?" My brain was melted, or maybe I was swapped in the middle of the night into someone else's life because all those things he says don't make sense. "Me rejecting you? I'm not insane."

He laughs, and I feel the atmosphere lighten. "Well, you did it." He speaks through clenched teeth, holding back laughter. "When you were with your friend, I gave it to you on the back of the receipt and you threw it in the trash."

«Idiot, idiot, idiot, WHY DIDN'T I SEE THE BACK?»

"I... I didn't see it." His hand goes to my cheek, and his face begins to approach.

«Am I dreaming?» I'm completely paralyzed.

He lightly taps his forehead against mine and then takes a few steps back, but I stand up so we're still close. He takes my hand and intertwines his fingers with mine.

"Dumb" He says to me in that charming tone of voice that I'm sure I'll never get tired of.

[factorialsotherfandoms]

(Alt PoV to the final scene of For All Our Sins, A Saviour. Written mostly aaaages ago, then I didn't like it, but now it's been long enough I go 'no actually this does have redeeming features'. As my hands are too bad to write what I want to today, I've just spruced this up a bit for your enjoyment. No longer even close to canon, the original was written while Forever was in the Nether. I like alt PoVs, but they're hard. Another Brazilian probably would have been a better match for Forever, but... Well, deathfam and Wilbur times were apparently on my brain whenever I started this.)

It is not at all a normal day for Philza, but it is a peaceful one. It is not normal because not only is Wilbur returned from his tour, but Missa has also managed to get just enough time away from work to stop by. Missa cooks and Wilbur anxiously fiddles with his guitar, and Philza perches on a crate of potatoes as he explains recent happenings. On the island. There's not a lot to say, not nearly as much as he would like, but he does his best.

He is just getting to the end of explaining the MiniMes when his communicator pings.

A second later, Missa's does to.

They both look down, and Philza finds a private message from Bad, of all possible suspects.

BadBoyHalo whispers to you: Get to the Nether Portal. Bring Missa.

Philza does not even need to think; there are only so many reasons Bad would call him there, of all places. He slams down a red sharestone, and catches Missa's eyes.

"Chayanne?" Missa whispers.

"There should be a sharestone for it," he says, not brave enough to follow Missa's thought. "If... Let's just go. Wilbur? We'll be bakc in a bit."

He does not wait for a reply; he activates the sharestone, and lets himself be pulled away.

---

The first thing Philza sees upon arriving in the Nether Portal room is Chayanne - his egg, his son, his chick - clinging to Bad's legs as he shakes.

The second thing Philza sees is the blood and bruises all over his son, the burns on his feet and the surpressed terror in his eyes.

The third thing Philza sees is the zombie piglin wandering from the portal, and making its way towards his child.

He does not even think; he draws his scythe and throws himself at the piglin, slicing it through and keeping it away from his child.

When he turns again, Bad is at his side - scythe also drawn - while Missa has picked up Chayanne. Both are sobbing, even as Missa rocks them gently.

And then there is Wilbur, who followed them as he always would.

"Chayanne?" Wilbur whispers. "But where's-?"

He cuts himself off, sounding of heartbreak.

Chayanne wriggles around, just enough to place a sign. 'Portal is unstable. I was the test. The others will come soon.'

It's short, it's sharp, Chayanne finishes the words and hides himself fully in Missa's clothes.

Soft Spanish can be heard from Missa as he tries to comfort the egg.

"Dapper?" Bad whispers, just as quiet. "Pomme? Dapper? Where are you?"

Philza glares at the portal a moment - sees nothing else coming, which only has his heart twist - before moving over to his partner and son.

"You are so brave," he whispers to Chayanne. "Dad's proud of you, I'm so proud of you. Don't worry, Papa will look after you, and Dad will protect you both, okay?"

Bad slices down another zombie piglin behind them, texting away on his communicator as he does - surely summoning the other parents. The movement causes Philza to twist, looking for the danger, but somehow he manages not to fall. The portal seems... unstable, the pattern of swirls glitching and shifting and changing as it tries to settle on a single point of connection. Where-ever Chayanne came from... He doesn't want to think about that.

Philza turns back to his egg, hugging him even as he's tucked in Missa's arms, giving him toast and a potion and a totem of undying, because Chayanne is hurting and dirty and scared and Philza wants nothing more than to have his child safe and looked after.

The toast is eaten so fast; Philza gives him more, because how else does he express his fear and his love? How else does he show just how much his heart is hurting, if not forcing his protection and resources upon him?

"It's okay," Missa switches to English for a moment, looking at Philza. "I have him. He's here."

Philza reaches around Chayanne, trapping him in the middle as he hugs Missa. Trust Missa to work it out, for all their communication failures in the past. Missa, blessed Missa, where would he be without him?

The sharestone and the portal both whirl again, in synch this time, and Philza hears at least three people yell "Pomme!"

Bad will have everything in hand, but Philza still turns, watching as Bad scoops her up, steps towards the sharestone, and is caught by Baghera as he slips to his knees. Etoiles is there too; they share a look, and Philza nods. He turns back to his egg.

"I need to protect the others," Philza says to his son, glancing to his husband in between words. "Papa Missa has you though, okay? I'll be right here, I'm just guarding the portal so nothing can hurt you - or anyone. You'll be able to see me the whole time."

It's wrong, so wrong, to see his brave warrior so terrified. But Chayanne still takes a deep breath, and nods, and turns his head to watch as Pomme parents fuss over her. Checking on his sibling, even as he's terrified himself.

Philza takes Bad's place in front of the portal, scythe in one hand, potions in the other, and waits for whatever comes next. Bad takes the opportunity to run over to his daughter, joining the French in the huddle around her. Behind him he hears more people arrive - Tubbo and Pac and Fit, Foolish, Cellbit and Roier and at that point he stops paying attention because there are more enemies to deal with.

He hears Wilbur demand to know what is going on, and leaves it in the hands of someone else to explain.

Zombie piglins are not /really/ a threat, except for the fact everyone is distracted and their children are hurt, and he doesn't really want to think about one of the horrors catching sight of an injured child - of easy prey.

Wilbur slips in beside Philza, hands nervously twisting before pulling out an axe.

No winning on someone else explaining, then; Philza wouldn't usually mind, but he's busy, and there's only so much thought he can spare.

"Will she be okay?" Wilbur asks, voice quieter and more shaky than it should ever be.

"She has to be," Philza replies, voice a little cold but his concentration split too many ways to comfort his son. "And once she's home and safe and feeling better, we'll kill everything that dared touch her."

He misses Wilbur's reply as a golden carrot is fired at a newly emerged, baby zombie piglin.

Philza is about to tell Wilbur to step back - that he and Fit have this, go ask Missa if he has questions - when the portal shifts again. The pattern... Philza's isn't sure, but it seems as though the swirls have shifted to another direction. It found somewhere to link to, if only for a few moments.

A second later not one but three eggs stumble out of the portal. Ramon has his eyes screwed shut, clinging to Leo's hand. Leo's other arm is supporting Dapper, who is struggling to stand. Philza does not take more than a moment to consider - he calls for Bad and Foolish, just in case they somehow missed this, and moves forwards. A splash potion in the middle, and then an extra right over Dapper. The poor eggs need it - they need a lot more than just potions, but it's a start.

Fit shoves his way past, opening up his arms and calling to Ramon. It takes a second for the boy to open his eyes, but as soon as he does he flings himself into Fit's arms.

Fit then steps back, making room for Foolish and Bad rushing in. Foolish laughs as he hoists Leo up and onto his shoulders, but he clings to little legs like the world might shatter if he ever lets go. Bad, meanwhile, is distraught; he scoops Dapper up and hides him away, then runs off to hide among the French.

Philza doesn't blame him; Dapper looked... All of the eggs have been hurt, but none of the others were struggling to stay on their feet. Philza clings the potions tighter; maybe something has caught up to them, maybe something is attack, maybe-

Wilbur steals the potion from Philza's hand.

"For Tallulah," he says. "In case she..."

"She'll be okay," Philza makes a promise he cannot keep. "If Forever's with them, he'll be protecting her from whatever is chasing them."

"He is," Fit calls across, sat a little way down the walkway, Ramon in his lap and Pac pacing at his side. "Ramon said Forever found them, and is the one who keeps forcing the portal."

It's a relief Philza did not know he needed to hear Forever is somewhere, on his feet, and even better with the eggs.

"Thanks mate," he grins back. "If anyone's injured, can someone let me know?"

"Pomme says Forever is," Baghera offers. "Badly. And that... Um... Sorry, English. Richarlyson needs a new leg and Tallulah's lungs hurt?"

Wilbur /whines/ beside Philza, and Philza cannot blame him. He reaches out, and squeezes his eldest's shoulder.

He can only do so for a moment, though; nearly as soon as he does, the last two children make it through the portal.

A giant blue beetle accompanies them. Warped mosco. One of /those fuckers/. Philza swears, stepping in to block it, while Wilbur moves forward. Philza is almost surprised that Wilbur picks up both eggs before running out of range of the mob.

Thankfully, it is only the one; Etoiles jumps up from the French huddle to help him, and together they cut it down.

Exhausted, Philza turns, and checks on his family. Missa and Wilbur stand close enough that Tallulah and Chayanne can hold hands, both cuddling their respective child close and wary of the danger.

It seems Richarlyson had been handed to Pac, as the boy is animatedly explaining something to his Pai. Cellbit and Roier, having been on the lower floor with the French, Bad, and Foolish, start heading up to the walkway. Now he looks, he can see Bagi and Felps too.

Right. All of the kids are accounted for. Philza should... He wants to back off, to scoop his partner and his eggs up and hide them away at uppies, or maybe even further out... He does have other warps - maybe they'd like that skeleton temple, it'd not take too long to drain a room to hide in... Throw a shitty house around them, make something better in the morning.

He doesn't, though, instead he flags down Cellbit.

"Pomme and Ramon said Forever is still there."

Cellbit looks at Richarlyson, then back at Philza. There's an exhausted curse, but Cellbit and Roier take out their weapons.

Felps and Bagi are a little slower on the take up, but pause too. Philza sees Pac start to get up, offering Richarlyson to Fit, but Cellbit waves for him to stay down.

"He'll come through soon?"

"You saw the bastard flying mob, right?" Philza asks. "He might... Pomme said he was already hurt."

He's almost surprised that Cellbit missed that, but then with all of the reunitings going on, maybe its not so surprising.

Cellbit runs a hand through his hair, tongue flicking for a second, "we give him five minutes. It's not like we can calibrate it from this side anyway - we tried."

"Right," Philza is glad someone else took the planning, even if he feels a little terrible to put even more on Cellbit's head. He hands a few potions to the Brazilians - Etoiles is still on standby, but very definitely has his own - just in case.

And then they wait. Nothing that comes through is especially dangerous, the portal having shifted back to its original configuration.

One minute, two, Foolish asking why nobody has gone home yet...

The portal shifts again. Philza readies his scythe, and the others too.

It takes a moment, but what comes first is Forever. Unlike the eggs he does not even make it off of the obsidian before he is falling. Philza reaches out to catch him, but Felps is already there, pulling an arm over his shoulder and taking his weight.

The Brazilians run to their fellow. Philza almost goes with, but more comes through the portal; he and Etoiles leap into action, cutting the enemies down. There's zombie piglins and warped moscos and things Philza does not even stop to identify as he makes quick work of cutting them down

There's some commotion, and the Brazilians do not pull away. Instead they huddle, and it makes Philza's job much harder as he tries both not to trip over them and to protect them. When he catches a moment he lets Etoiles cover him, and takes his pick to the obsidian.

It's obsidian, it always takes a while to break, but in that moment this one seems to take forever.

Eventually he manages it. The portal shatters, and he breathes a sigh of relief before diving back into the fight.

Once it is safe, Etoiles disappears back to his own huddle, while Missa, Wilbur, and Philza's eggs approach. Chayanne is squirming like he wants down and to walk, but Philza can see the burns on his feet. He and Missa share a look, and their son is hugged a little more tightly.

"You alright?" Missa asks, head tilting.

"Just tired," he reassures. "There were never too many, all these people just get to me a bit."

"Yeah, yeah, I-"

Whatever Missa was about to say is cut off by Cellbit screaming in... fear? frustration? Philza has no idea, but it has him quickly turn to the huddle.

What he sees is Forever unconscious, blood in his hair, blood all over the floor, and his heart drops.

There's not a lot he can do, however; he turns back to his family.

"We left the rice cooking; do you four want to head home?" he hesitates a moment.

Chayanne reaches for him, and Philza's heart breaks, "I'll be back really soon, I just want to make sure your tio Forever is okay, and make sure all your siblings get home safe."

Nobody likes the answer, but Missa nods, and he is the one holding Chayanne. Philza hugs both of his eggs, and gives them more toast, and nudges his family on their way.

Then there is just... Everyone else.

Forever and the Brazilians need space, and so Philza gently starts herding people home. Bad is easy - just suggest taking Dapper somewhere safer - while Baghera hesitates for the same reason as Philza. Foolish and Leo and Vegetta excused themselves as soon as someone else left, and the non-parents drift away after them.

Baghera is convinced to leave by Pomme, who wants to go to the caste. She makes Philza promise to update her - he has every intention to do so.

He checks the room, and the portal, before heading over to the remaining group. Forever is still out, and Philza's heart drops somehow further still.

"Richarlyson," Philza decides to start with the simplest of the group to wrangle, and the easiest to pull the other's strings with. "Do you want to come get a bed at the hospital ready for your dad?"

It's not a question anyone should ever ask of a child, but here it is, and here it is asked.

Richarlyson pops down a sign and, in more than a few emotes, communicates that he will.

Bagi sucks in air through her teeth and asks, "do we have a stretcher?"

"It's upstairs," Roier is the one to reply. "I'll come get it and set things up."

And that is that; Philza nudges Richarlyson upstairs, and soon enough Forever is clean, and treated as best they can, and resting on a hospital bed.

The same hospital bed, but this time there's at least a little more of his family gathered around.

It's horrible, it's a memory Philza does not want, but events overlap and a hatred for the Federation only grows; why the fuck did they send Forever, of all people, and why send him alone? He is grateful for his children safe, but this...

"He shouldn't be alone," is all Philza can say when they're done, feeling every bit the intruder he is. "Someone needs to stay."

"I'll be here tonight," Bagi offers. "Everyone else, get Richarlyson home to sleep."

Philza doubts that will happen, but takes it as excuse to leave even as the group starts arguing over who should stay, and if they should take shifts overnight. He whispers a thank you to Forever, and squeezes his hands, and then vanishes off back home.

As soon as he descends the ladder, two children attack him with hugs. He scoops them up and places one on each hip, and tries to ignore the bandages all over their skin. He kisses both of their foreheads, and moves to sit with them on Chayanne's bed.

Wilbur is loitering by the door, and he can hear Missa in the kitchen - either salvaging the rice, or cooking something new.

"Chayanne, Tallulah," he delights in saying their names to them. "It's okay, we're all okay. Tio Forever's all patched up, and Tia Bagi is going to stay with him and make sure he's okay - she's Cellbit's sister, so you know you can trust her. Some of the other Brazilians will probably stay, too."

Both of his eggs nod against his sides, shaking a bit as they soak in his touch. Neither of them reaches for a sign, so he just holds them and keeps them be.

Unusually, Tallulah moves first, running from Philza to her actual father, and being scooped up into Wilbur's arms.

She's carried to her own bed and sat down with him, and not long after Missa appears with five plates of some sort of mashed potato.

Philza, honestly, doesn't really care what it is as he eats, only enough mind for his children and for the way Missa sits beside him and leans his head on his shoulder, and perhaps for thoughts of Forever, who saved their children but lies badly injured in the hospital even now.

"If you're both feeling up to it, we can go see tio Forever in the morning," he promises worried children. "Your siblings, too."

The promise encourages Chayanne, at least, to eat - Tallulah has about fallen asleep on Wilbur already, too tired to do more than open her mouth and swallow as her father feeds her.

"I should get Tallulah home," Wilbur looks at her. "Thanks for the food."

"You can stay the night," Missa says, even as Philza says, "Wil, there's a spare bed and some sleeping bags in the chest."

Wilbur looks at them, and his laugh is humourless, but he whispers an okay. They drift into silence, and Wilbur breaks it as he picks up a tune. Missa doesn't know the words but he hums along, and Philza tucks the eggs into their beds.