#but I feel kinda bad about how harsh and uninterested I am

[wild-moss-art]

I’ve been dating and I try not to dress my absolute best for meetups bc I don’t like to be held to that standard but it’s so difficult bc I slay too hard in everything I wear 😔

[beann-e]

Entitlement Of A Class

summary ; shinso loves to get in your head during arguements

You’d been sitting here communicating your annoyance through your facial expressions for the last 15 minutes yet, you couldn’t tell if shinso just didn’t care or he didn’t want to

“ whenever you stop acting like an emoji keyboard and decide to use your words we can talk “

you looked to the floor wishing it could swallow you whole as you sat next to your boyfriend on the couch his arm wrapped around you as your body laid back against the couch feet tucked under yourself

“ unless your scared “ his eyebrow coming up as he turned to look at you

“ and my precious kitty has no reason to fear me right “

you looked away from him shaking your head lightly as his hand came down to rub your thigh “ see then we’re fine lets just watch the movie ‘k— i’ve been wanting to see this since it came out “

You knew he never cared much and you didn’t know how to communicate it wasn’t that you felt like you couldn’t talk to him ‘ which you did ‘ you just simply found it hard to when he would always use his quirk to shut the argument down when it approached a point he didn’t want to discuss or simply talk anymore

“ I-i’m mad “ you decided to start out slow you knew you had to go about this a certain way or it could all go left . He blinked as he continued to stare at the tv his body relaxed showing no interest as he repeated your words plainly “ you are mad “

you took a gulp “ and i’m — I want you to apologize for making me mad “ you studied him as you kept speaking slowly “ I would like for you to pay attention to me while I talk s-shin “

“ how do you expect me to pay attention to someone who’s just listing effects and solutions but wont provide me the cause to said ‘ anger ‘ “ you nodded your head you were doing ok he seemed to be taking you slightly serious

“ i’m sorry it was my fault for not explaing “ he grunted as your continued “ earlier before we watched the movie you ignored me when I said hi to your class — in the hallways — at training I just it was kinda hurtful babe“

“ I told you I don’t want people to know “ he moved his hand over to turn the tv up trying to focus on his — y’all’s— movie “ why would I hold your hand or request you as my sparring partner if I don’t want people to think we’re dating “

“ but because of that I had to pair with bakugou and he burned me “ you gripped at your side “ badly “

he nodded “ yeah saw that — you should get recovery girl to fix it she’ll have you as good as new — ask deku he should be a medical intern by now“

you looked to the floor “ shinso I wish you cared more “ your voice was low “ I know your trying your best really I do but you just your so distant even when we’re not around people “

you pointed between the two of you “ honestly if you didn’t use your pet names I myself would think we’re just really close friends — look how uninterested you are when I talk“

“ I am not uninterested “

“ then what was I just talking about shin “

he paused as he looked at you speaking “ why do you always do this “ his gaze on you harsh

“ why do you always pick fights with me I told you I was listening y/n why can’t that be it ? why can’t it be over “

he reached out to pull you in his arms “ I don’t understand arguments baby — I don’t understand the point when half the time the problems aren’t that important “ he whispered as he spoke to you “ your mad because I didn’t pick you as my sparring partner really y/n ? not because I didn’t save you from villians or because I let you almost get hit by a car “ his eyebrows creased “ but because I let you fight bakugou “

“ it’s not li— “

“ baby , honestly it’s not my fault you can’t beat bakugou — it’s not my fault your not on his level “

he shifted you off of his lap as he moved to turn the tv off “ so stop trying to start pointless fights that you know we’re gonna get no where with and go practice in the training room — you wanna be a hero right “

you shook your head slowly “ well then it’s gonna be hard for me to advocate for you to aizawa— to get out of class 1-B if you can’t even beat the top student and then cry about it after he scratches you“ he waved you off as he stood up stretching “ no one wants to deal with that “

“ shinso that’s not nice —he literally blasted me into the brick wall for even approaching him to start the fight— you know i’d give anything to be in your new class just becuase I can’t beat bakugou doesn’t mean anything“

“ clearly it does if your bringing it up to me like what do you want me to do about it — I can’t magically make you fight better “

“ I know and that’s not what i’m upset abo- “

“ then what the fuck are you so upset about y/n “ his hand slammed into the couch face lit up in annoyance

“ n-nevermind “

“ oh now it’s never mind ? where was this earlier when I just wanted to watch my movie huh “

his voice was so calm but his actions were saying otherwise as he was gripping the remote in his hands knuckles white “ answer me — I told you this argument was pointless that it was a waste of my time and I didn’t understand it and you kept going“ his face came up in disbelief “ and now you wanna end it here ? “

“ no I just — your there — at the peak— it’s no need to keep going i’m gonna screw myself over “

“ how ? huh how are you ?— what the hell are you talking about “

“ I would like to s-stop please “

he stalked over to where you sat looking down on you who was now trapped. You’d pissed him off even if he was the calmest and rational person you’d ever met. You knew his attitude when he had one always showed his annoyance especially when he felt the situation was as trivial as this

“ oh you wanna stop ? now ? and i’m just suppose to let you after I said I wanted to stop and you kept going “

“ because I — I thought I had the go ahead I didn’t know i messed up “

“ what are you talking about-why do you keep saying that ? “

you went quiet you knew not to answer he knows what he’s doing

“ y/n come on baby “

you weren’t gonna speak , you felt as the couch dipped him sitting down as he pulled you in his lap kissing you softly as you returned it . It was rare for him to give you affection and you enjoyed it he knew this . You found yourself pulled into a long kiss you both breaking away as he moved to nuzzle into your neck “ y/n come on talk to me “ he nipped at your neck

“ I love when you talk no matter if your mad or not — I hate when your quiet makes me feel like I did something wrong “

you groaned at his words you felt bad you didn’t want to leave him hanging “ did I do something wrong baby ? “

you felt your heart strings pull he never got soft like this you knew he felt bad and you couldn’t help but answer softly “ no shinso “

the smirk that spread across his face was so sinister if you could have seen it you would have packed your things and ran. Your brain going wonky as you felt your head start pounding it was almost like you’d lost control over your own thoughts —mind racing

“ I know babe I know “ you whimpered at the feeling

“ calm down i’ll help you out “ you felt as he sat you down on the couch gently

“ y/n you see your hand “ he pointed to your hand

“ bring it up to your head for me real quick and let your quirk go to work ok “ you did as you were told hand falling when you were done him sitting back on the couch and your body swiftly falling to lay back on the pillows eyes closed as snores fell from your lips

“ thank god you have a sleep quirk any other and it might not always work “ he laid his back on the couch starting the movie over and relaxing peacefully as he sighed out

“ shoulda done that as soon as they pissed me off when they first opened their mouths “

[rhywhitefang]

Blank Rune + Inner Shadow characters ranked by how much you can trust them to babysit your children

Mary Poppins is seething in envy:

- Avery; Hugger of children and literal angel. There’s no better option. No, you cannot change my mind. Your children will come back, happy, safe, and goth. They will form an unbreakable bond devils bargain of friendship

- Jademis: Smart, responsible, and nice. What better qualities for someone to take care of your kids? Not only is she capable, she actually cares about doing her job AND she will probably help your kids with their math homework also.

- Coal: Obviously an amazing choice. Not only does he have common sense and makes responsible choices, they are also fun! I can also see Coal really liking kids which makes him great for this.

- Caravel: On her own? God tier, no question. She takes her job incredibly seriously, gets attached to the kids immediately, and will defend them with her life. She will give them great food but also be responsible and also the kids will love her. Her taste in men is not her fault!

- Kester: He is literally a dad. The only reason why he’s ranked lowest in this tier is for slight overprotective tendencies, but you know what? That’s also a good thing. He would also LOVE tormenting your little ones with his dad jokes :)

- Idokras: This is a really protective person who is really enthusiastic and will do anything to keep them safe. Fun, but also strict enough to discipline them without being too harsh. The kids will have a great time!

Great tier:

- Acorn: Nice, smart, and full of great advice. Has kind of a hands-off approach which is why he’s not in the first tier, but overall a very solid choice.

- Fatima: Why is Fatima so low, you ask? She is across both stories the character with the most solid moral compass.She is responsible. She cares about their safety and wants them to be not traumatised. Perfect! But on her own, she is a bit awkward and “no fun” around kids. However!! If Oxyll joins her the pair of them instantly move up to God tier. 

- Astrid: Astrid is amazing! I don’t even have anything negative to say that put her down, she’s all around great! No complaints! Just not so extraordinary as to put her any higher, but if you chose her as your babysitter, your kids will have fun and learn some wilderness skills.

- Soleya: Probably already makes mad cash babysitting. Smart, responsible, snarky. Shame she’s not the biggest fan of children.

- Sora: Sora is a literal angel. An actual disney princess. A precious flower who is soft and nice and will take good care of your children. She can be a bit of a pushover though!

- Rhy: Canonically a great babysitter. Fun, good with children, and just all around a charmer. Maybe not the great role model, but I’ll doubt you’ll have any complaints about him. 

Decent enough:

- Oxyll: Also dad energy, but lesser efficiency than Kester. He’s more oblivious, and way less of a grip on the kids. He’s fine, but definitely not the best. Again, though, if you combine his powers with Fatima, they become god tier together. 

- Skipio: Decent enough, responsible, and will do his damnest to keep your little ruffians out of trouble. He’s gonna be strict with them, too - which is also his downside. Your kids won’t want them back.

- Tave: He’s doing his best! He’s trying! Who knows, maybe he can work himself up the tier list. For now he’s getting an E for effort. 

- Kain: A good boy! He’ll try to look out for them, but also, he’s very stupid, so emphasis on “try”

- Pan: I don’t think he’s really a “kids” kinda guy, and probably won’t know what to do with them. Still, he’ll try his best to keep them alive. 

- Agnes: Honestly, considering the fact that she’s like, what? 14? This is hella impressive. A responsible girl! I’m very proud of her!

- June: Your kids will love her! She’ll let them ride on her motorcycle, stay up past 2 am, and let them eat as many cookies as they want!

Meh Tier

- Lyn Amara: Completely uninterested in your brats. I guess if you paid her, she’d pay attention though. 

- Ash: Can be bribed into doing a good job, and depending on the kid might also grow attached enough to do it out of their own volution, but they might also not bother.

- Blake: He just wants to sit in his barrel, bro.

- Anianno: His honor demands him that he protects him from threats and he’ll definitely run head first at any large animal that tries to attack them. 

- Tilly: Stimulate your childrens creativity! Teach them valuable life lessons! Repeat after me: Murder is okay :)

- Laure: I mean, she *might* sacrifice them to her death cult but I feel like she’d be responsible about it, yaknow?

- Wren: That’s a bit too much responsibility for our anxious little bean. They will try their best though!

You Might as well have left them alone

- Allen: This is the same as leaving them alone.

- Swift: Will probably get distracted & overhwlemed. 

- Copper: Anxious chihuaha. Will cry. 

- Jakob: Oh boy... probably not the greatest idea. I mean, he’ll try his best, but I can’t see this going too well. Maybe they can write sad poetry together?

- Finn: He does nothing for them and might accidentally... drop them.

- Elvin: He’s a baby but at least not actively completely irresponsible, and has some physical capabilities? He’s really dumb tho.

- Phillip: He will ditch them half way through the night to go fight and/or make out with his boyfriend

- Prion: Too busy staring at himself in the mirror.

- Lexa: Herself a baby and also has no concept of fear or danger. Don’t.

- Kyra: Might steal their arms... but eh, too small. 

- Barnacle: Looking at his intentions and general vibe, it’s great! He is a soft cuddly sweetheart, who I can totally see liking children. He’s also a mess and a disaster and a huge pushover. Also, what do kids eat again? Here have some uhhhhhh...... leaves from outside?

Just.... Bad:

- Delta: Do you want your kids babysat by a cat?

- Liam: I mean... look at the job he did with June. He kept her alive and fed, I guess. So, congrats on achieving the bare minimum, but he’s definitely not getting any awards here. And theres you know, him being an evil shithead.

- Midas: As irresponsible as they get and also kind of a shithead. There’s a chance he might use your child as a football. 

- Mikash: He is baby, dont give him this kind of responsibility!

- Arna + Firmin: The irresponsible children squad. Why would you let them babysit your irresponsible children??

- Dareios: Canonical child hater and overall horrible person. The only reason he’s not in the shit tier is that if you payed him, your children will survive. He will treat them horribly though.

KEEP THEM AWAY FROM THE BABIES

- Artemisia: Well she might kill the kids, but unlike the rest of the people in this tier, here your kids might have a chance of survival ‘cause Misi is not that interested in them and might ignore them and do something else instead.

- Rubin: trash garbage man who will misuse your kids as “squires” for his fucked up murder tournaments

- “Ethan”: Almost the absolutel worst option. He is a terrible influence. We remind the reader that when Caravel asked him to get something to eat for the kids, he brought chips and alcohol. Awful role model, and thats not even getting into the fact that he literally murdered the two children in his care. Might not even keep your kids alive if you pay him!

- Esca: No :(

[surveys4ever]

25.

Section 1 – Who were you?

Think back as far as you can. What is the first memory you have? I think meeting my (now) dad for the first time when he and my mom were dating. I was very upset because he was short and that’s not what dads were supposed to look like in my 3 year old eyes since my bio dad was super tall.

What is something you remember enjoying very much as a small child? Playing Barbies, watching Barney, Happy Meals, being with my grandma.

How old were you, when you made your very first friend? Probably preschool.

Are you still friends with this person today? Facebook friends, yeah. Real friends, no.

Was there a story somebody read or told you that has stuck with you? No one ever read to me after I learned to read for myself so one day I was sick and I came home and curled up with my mom on the couch and asked her to read me a Little Mermaid book I had and she did, even though I had to get up to go shit myself halfway through and it meant a lot to me at the time.

What is something you get an immense feeling of nostalgia from? Hannah Montana for some reason. It was my favorite show and we didn’t get the Disney channel so whenever we went to a hotel, nobody could tell me fuckin NOTHING because we were watching Hannah Montana whether they liked it or not.

As a child, were you a sore loser or a sore winner? I was the only child for 8 years and then the oldest after that so I never lost at anything and now when I do, I feel like I'm the biggest piece of shit loser there’s ever been. So that’s fun.

Did you go through the "naked phase"? I learned that you didn’t have to sleep in pajamas and you could just sleep naked so I did it for a while but then realized that I much preferred pajamas.

Which television shows do you watch the most as a child? I loved TV so basically all of the 90′s/early 2000′s shows there were.

Did you play with siblings, neighbourhood kids or by yourself? Either with neighborhood/school kids or by myself. I didn’t ever really have siblings who weren’t my kids, if that makes sense.

Is there something you really miss from your childhood today? I miss back when everything was simple.

Section 2 – Likes and interests  

Would you ever like to try competitive pinball playing? Ummm, no.

Do you knit, crochet or cross stitch? I’m trying to teach myself to crochet.

Have you ever, or would you like to attend a gaming or comic convention? No thx.

What's your opinion on online multiplayer games? I really liked Among Us for a while there but I don’t really enjoy how rude everyone is on online games.

Do you like to go cycling? If so, where? Uh no.

Have you ever tried woodturning? If not, would you like to? Never tried it, don’t really have any desire to, but it can be relaxing to watch!

Do you enjoy drawing? If so, what do you usually draw? I do! I usually draw graphics for YouTube videos or doodle over Instagram photos, draw things to put on shirts with my Cricut, etc. I use my iPad for so many things.

Have you ever attended a painting class? If so, what did you create? I haven’t but I would like to!

How about a creative writing course? If so, did you get any feedback? I took Creative Writing literally every year it was offered in high school and I always got awards for having the top marks in the class.

What is your favourite form of exercise? No thank you.

Section 3 – People  

Who is the most important person in your life (besides yourself)? My husband.

Do people generally approach you easily? I think so!

Do you get along with people well? If not, what's the problem? Yeah! I’m pretty friendly and easy going.

Do you enjoy being in crowds or do you prefer your own company? I would much prefer my own company than crowds.

Which one of your friends have you known the longest? I still talk to the girl I was best friends with in the 6th grade on occasion so like 17-18 years?

Do you find it easy to make friends now? If not, what makes it difficult? As an adult who works from home, making friends is hard as fuck. 

What is something about people that annoys you? Something I've noticed in recent years is just how entitled and greedy everyone is. Everybody wants something from you or for your skills to benefit them without them putting in any work or paying you for your time. It’s just gross.

What is something about people that you really like? We have really, really harsh winters and if you ever find yourself in the ditch for whatever reason, there will be a lineup of cars stopped behind you to help you push it out or let you chill in their car while you wait for a tow truck. On the really bad blizzard days, there are groups of men in big trucks that literally L I V E to go around and help pull people’s cars out of the ditch. It’s the only time I feel like there’s actually a sense of community around here.

If you live alone, what would be your criteria for a roommate? I honestly would never have a roommate because they could either be your friend or a stranger and living with friends is a good way to ruin a friendship if your living styles aren’t similar and living with a stranger just sounds like a nightmare.

How about criteria for a spouse, if you're single? I am married but my criteria was honestly that I just wanted him to be kind and funny and I got that tenfold with my husband.

In general, what's your attitude towards people? I can’t stand to be around grumpy people. If all you do is gripe and complain about literally everything, I’m out. No thank you. Why is your hobby being angry? Take up knitting or something for christ’s sake.

Section 4 – Habits

What is something you do every day without fail? Baby talk the dog and snuggle with Beebs.

What is your typical breakfast? I’m a leftovers for breakfast kinda gal but lately I’ve been having a bagel and watermelon.

Which article of clothing do you like to wear the most? I loooove me a good baggy T-shirt and booty shorts.

Is there a TV show you watch habitually? We’re currently watching Unhhhh while we eat dinner every night, haha!

Where do you usually spend most of your day? I really only sit in 4 places--bed, the couch, my makeup/work desk, or my sewing desk. Depends on the day which one I’m at.

Is there a product that you do not want to run out of? Moisturizer. I’m a dry son of a bitch.

What is your preferred mode of transport? Car!

Do you usually have something playing in the background when you're home? Nah. I’m in silence a lot of the time.

Where do you usually get your groceries? Walmart for the bulk of it, a local grocery store for the specialty items, and Target if we ever run out of something midweek because I cannot handle Walmart more than once a week.

How often do you go to your local park? Like once or twice a month in the summer!

Which of your hobbies do you indulge in most often? Sewing and Sims currently!

Section 5 – Favourites and dislikes

What is your favourite fruit? Watermelon!

How about your favourite berry? Strawberries are the only berry I like.

Which food do you highly dislike? Fish. It’s all disgusting.

What is your favourite song, and why? I hate this question. Who can pick one definitive favorite song out of the bajillions of songs that have been written??

What is a movie you cannot stand? Anything with Seth Rogen in it, any movie that's got a 3+ after it (looking @ you, Fast & Furious), and all the fuckin’ superhero movies that have the same ‘ah yes, this undefeatable bad guy that we have absolutely no chance against and will undoubtedly kill us all--but we’re going to pull through at the last second with the power of friendship!’ plot line.

Which trait in a person do you find most appealing? I don’t know how to describe it--certain people just have that spark and you can always tell right away if they’ve got it or not and those are my favorite kind of people.

Which trait puts you instantly off? If they’re religious it’s an instant no from me, dog.

Who is an actor/actress who you dislike so much you can't watch them? I really, really dislike Tom Holland. I honestly think he’s a terrible actor.

What colour are your favourite shoes? White!

What is a smell that disgusts you to no end? B.O., on me or others. I just can’t deal with it.

Which door handle/door knob do you like the most in your home? They’re all the same.

Section 6 – Culture

What is something very typical to the culture of your home country? Apple pie and baseball are the only things coming to mind atm.

Do you enjoy art? If so, which form of art is the most enjoyable? I do! But I prefer art that you can look at and know the artist is incredibly gifted and/or has put in a ton of time and effort to master their skills. None of that million dollar paint smear on a canvas shit.

What is something about another country's culture you don't understand? I feel like other cultures take their family and their family’s approval way too seriously. That might be rich coming from someone who doesn’t have a very good relationship with their family but I just don’t understand what the point of making yourself miserable to make your family happy is.

Do you ever attend the theater? If so, which play did you see last? Last thing I saw in a theater was Shangela perform a drag show, haha!

How about the opera or the ballet? Nope.

Which dance troupe do you enjoy, if any? ...they still do that?

Do you attend concerts or gigs? If so, which band did you see last? Not as much as I’d like to as no one good really comes here very often. Last band we saw was X Ambassadors and Paramore!

Are you interested in foreign food? I’m not uninterested but I’m not super interested either.

If so, which country's cuisine do you enjoy the most? Chinese...albiet probably a very Americanized version of Chinese.

Do you enjoy stand-up comedy? If so, who is your favourite comic? I doooo! Bo Burnham and Drew Lynch are my favorites.

Do you contribute to culture in some way? If so, how? I try to? I’m an influencer so I definitely have a platform of a couple hundred thousand people. Not sure what exactly I contribute tho.

Section 7 – Charity

Do you volunteer your time to anything charitable? If so, what? Newp.

Do you donate money to any charities? If so, which ones? No. I don’t trust a lot of charities, to be quite honest. A lot of them are very shady and I’d rather donate money directly to someone who needed it rather than it getting tied up in a charity where it might never actually see the people they claim to be helping.

If you have pets, are any of them rescues from shelters? We adopted our dog from one of my husband’s coworkers but she probably would have gone to the shelter if we didn’t take her.

Do you donate your old clothes, linen etc. to charitable organizations? Yes! We almost always have a bag of donations in our trunk that we always forget to take to the thrift store when we go.

If someone you know is in need, is it in your nature to offer help? If I can, yes!

Have you ever donated Christmas presents to children of poor families? We used to do that when I was a kid.

Have you ever had to rely on other people's charity? One Christmas when I was really young I remember my parents signed up for a sponsorship through the Salvation Army where a family adopted us and bought us Christmas presents and Christmas dinner or whatever.

How do you feel about donating to charities endorsed by celebrities? I would never donate to a charity simply because it was sponsored by a celebrity but I guess its the easiest way for a charity to get the word out that they need donations.

Is there a charity you absolutely never ever will not trust? PETA, Salvation Army, Goodwill, and that breast cancer one with the horrible CEO.

Have you ever donated to a cause that had a person going door to door? No. I extra wouldn’t if someone came knocking on my door asking for money.

In general, what is your opinion on charity? I already did my rant about them, haha.

Section 8 – Entertainment

Which was the very first video game you remember playing? Ocarina of Time I believe!

Which was the very first film you remember watching? That I don’t remember. Maybe that Barney movie with the magic egg?

What is your go-to form of entertainment? TikTok usually.

Do you have a large collection of DVDs/Blu-Rays? Nah. We have a drawer but we usually stream everything.

How about music albums? Beebs collects vinyls!

Do you prefer to have your music on vinyls, tapes, CDs or digital? I prefer digital and Beebs likes vinyl.

When and where do you like to entertain yourself usually? Either the bed or the couch.

Do you ever binge watch shows? If so, what are you binging now? Usually! I’m sadly in between shows rn.

What kinds of books do you like to read, if any? I honestly don’t read anymore.

Is there a book series you're currently collecting? ..

Is entertainment something you prefer to enjoy alone or with someone else? I have my shows and then we have shows we watch together. So there’s a time and place for both!

Section 9 – Internet 

Do you always have access to the Internet, wherever you go? If not, why? Yup!

Which website do you frequent the most? Website website? Google. App website? Instagram or TikTok.

Which search engine do you prefer and trust the most? Googs.

What do you use the Internet the most for? Social media or entertainment.

Do you judge people who have their phones out all the time? If so, why? Random people? None of my business. But if we’re spending time together and I’m trying to have a conversation with you and you're not paying attention to me because your nose is glued to your phone, I’m gonna be pissed.

If your connection goes down, what do you do? Go do something that’s not on the internet?

Is there something you wish you could do online that isn't possible yet? I still wish you could smell things through the internet.

Do you remember the first time you used the Internet? When was it? Yes! I believe the 2nd/3rd grade?

What was a website you used to frequent that doesn't exist anymore? I loved the Disney website with all the games.

Do/Did you ever have your own website? That was the thiiiing back in the day.

Isn't it great how much knowledge and info we have at our fingertips? It’s great but also overwhelming.

Section 10 – And finally...

What is something you consider to be highly controversial? Politics, apparently.

What kinds of jokes do you like the best? I love a good pun.

Is there a person who makes you laugh effortlessly? Oh definitely.

Which part of your body do you like the least? My eyes.

What's something random, out of context you remember from your past? I don’t do well with really vague questions.

Do you wear shoes indoors? No, I’m not a heathen.

What's the silliest thing you've worn on your body in public? I don’t think I usually wear silly things.

What's the most important thing in your life right now? Just spending time with my fam. Trying to get over this anxiety.

What is the most distant point on the planet that you've been from home? Florida.

Do you enjoy trivia games? If so, which one's your favourite? We love some Trivial Pursuit in this house!

Are you more logical or emotional? My emotions take over and then my logic brings it back in. Equal parts, baby.

[edengarden]

Hi! May I have a romantic heaven box BNHA matchup, please? :)

I'm Flo, a 19 years old bisexual girl.

Appearance: I'm 164 cm(~5'3) tall, with slim, kinda athletic body. I have medium long brown hair and same coloured deer-eyes(probably most attractive part on me), I also wear eyesglasses. I have thin mouth unfortunately. Also, I have a tiny little scar above my right eyebrow(I opened our car's door on my head years ago lolol), it's barely visible. I'm vain and always dress like a lady: so dresses and skirts, I have a classy, elegant or cute style, depends on my daily outfit. I wear light makeup, but not all the time.

Personality: Ambiverted, Virgo with Leo ascendant and Pisces moon. Slytherpuff. Needless to say, these already represent how confusingly dual my personality is. My behaviour constatntly changes, depending on who I am with: I try to sell myself, being two-faced, wearing a mask(sometimes I appear to be talkative, other times full-stoic), but to people I really do love, I'm quite blunt. Most of the time I'm caring and relatively kind person(but can be an asshole&harsh if tired emotionally). Highly critical, opinionated and rational-thinker, and I usually analyze everything: movies, books, other people, myself. HATE small talk, I always want to talk about some deep shit, sharing my opinions, thougts(only if you ask for it). Enjoy debating. Also, I'm the REALLY clumsy, like clumsy af and I have an invincible talent in getting myself into the most embarrassing, cringe situations. Hate appearing to be weak or crying in front of others(I never do), and generally I can get melancolic and depressed easily. I don't really trust even my loved ones, I always hide my deepest emotional(or whatever) issues, I just can't stand the fact being emotionally vulnerable. Also, I bottle up feelings well. But I can be soft sometimes which suprises people. One of my best friends said, I am suprising, always doing something unpredicted. Additionally, I stress over something all the time. About my humour, it's kinda ironic, dark, morbid, troll-ish; roasting, teasing people 24/7. Don't worry, despite my sometimes serious act, I can be a total dumb idiot. Selfish, vain, lazy,  snobbish hahah. Quite liberal, and I almost never judge people, I mind my own buisness. When I can talk about something I love or just sharing my opinion, I am passionate and be ready for a LONG rambling. Oh, I love alcohol and going out with friends, also I smoke those occassions. Plus, I have god-like hands, everyone told me that I could earn money bc of my massaging skills(I just know by instict how to touch people lol). Oh, and I daydream and zone out a lot. I love going out and drink alcohol with my friends(and sometimes somoke too), the drunken me can be a real asshole, but also hugs out of the blue, I get softer. Oh, and I curse fucking much, I have a disgustingly flithy mouth, bc of my rather innocent appearance and behavior ppl are suprised how much is... cruse.

Relationship: I don't really have a 'type' but I get bored easily: I takes a lot for me to really like in long-term a person, so I fall easier for complex and charismatic ones(but like I said, I can fall for other personalities too!!). I'm a quite difficult person to be with and to love, so I'm suprisingly flexible in a relationship. Only thing I need and without it wouldn't work at all: DEEP CONVOS AND SOME INTELLECT. Also, I have a quite roasting-bullying type humour, so my lover should understand and being able to handle that. Anyways, I'm not much of a PDA person(but I don't mid handholding, short hugs etc. if my partner really want to), and not romantic at all(also cannot flirt hehe), and for a long time I can be bit distant. Love language is words of affirmation&quality time, and if I have to express my feelings I'm best with acts of service. I love cuddling, ppl are suprised when I initiate hugs but tbh I love physical affection. I'm probably more likely the 'friend' lover. I need a lot, lot, lot alone time.

Hobbies/Likes: classical literature, theatre, politics, hiking, sightseeing, mysteries, reading about disappearances(crimes), trying out new things, yoga, running, horse riding, table tennis, listening to music, cats, thunderstorms, rainy days, cider, tequila

Music taste: Oh man, MIXED. I listen to literally everything except techno, it depends on my mood honestly. But if I had to say something, I think indie, alternative rock, electronic and psychedelic songs are the closest to me, but I've grown to listen more and more rap. Most of the songs are depressive as fuck, I mean I can be at my happiest, but I'd still listen some dark shit. But still, I enjoy pop(2000s pop at parties FUCK YEAH), jazz. Also, some occassions all my ears and mind need is some good ol' classical music. Some faves: Tame Impala, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Jack Stauber, Fink and some Hungarian bands that no one knows unfortunately. :(

Sorry if I was too long and more sorry if I've already requested before(my brain just rots lol), then just ignore me, hehe~♡

Did you,,, did you just copy paste like 3/4 of who I am

Man when I was reading your persona I was going “RinRinRinRinRinRin-“ but I decided against it UwU

ALL IN ALL you honestly sound like my type of person?? Like deadass I’d wanna befriend you. Fuck them small talks tell me what you think of the expansion of the universe and let’s talk about what if drugs are illegal bc they make us perceive true reality-

I’m going to match you up with... Shindo!

This one is a Battle of Wits, I swear. You didn’t trust him a single bit when the two of you first met, no one even thought you’d ever become friends. Shindo could practically see the gears turning in your head and quite frankly he was impressed?? You’re a highly intelligent individual who was able to keep your guard up and seclude yourself from others while not appearing TOO unapproachable? Boy was whipped and he didn’t even realize it. While others thought you were sort of cold and pragmatic, he thought you were the most well-balanced human in the world.

You guys 100% had an enemies to lovers thing going on, but it was slightly different. YOU started off completely uninterested in him, but while he made you think the feeling was mutual, I think Shindo found himself gravitating towards you. You can bet he secretly celebrated every little victory and step forward he made with you. Boy did NOT let up.

I seriously think he’s entertaining enough for you to keep interest in him. Shindo is as two-faced as you are (if not more), and he WILL change his behaviour within a second to keep your interest (somehow no one noticed his habit of doing that when he was crushing on you?? SUSPICIOUS). Also not a big fan of small talk; if he’s interested in you, he wants to know how you tick. He wants to know what you enjoy, what you like and what you dislike. And when you tell him while trying to still keep an emotional distance from him, he takes it as a challenge. No, he doesn’t think your relationship is a game, but he does think it’s highly entertaining and interesting.

When you start softening up to him, he won’t even grow bored. He’s worked so hard to get close to you and it finally pays off and he’s so happy??

But he won’t ever initiate PDA, just because he too has an image to uphold lmao if others don’t personally know you they’d never know y’all are falling for each other.

Songs!!

- One of My Turns, Pink Floyd (“don’t look so frightened this is just a passing phase one of my bad days” just hits different for the two of you?? I’m not saying your relationship is toxic bc it really isn’t but the VIBE is there)

- Do I Wanna Know?, Arctic Monkeys

- Dollar Days, David Bowie

- You Give Love A Bad Name, Bon Jovi

[inagetawaycarxo]

Blood Lust| Vampire!Tom Holland

Requested By @cosmicstarbabe

— Hi Hun! I've been reading a few things and your writing is so good! I wanted to know if requests are still open? If so, I wanted to request a vampire au with Tom! Where he ends up meeting the reader on a casual night out~ thank you sunshine! Have a nice day or night where you are and stay hydrated!

✧ Pairing: Vampire!Tom Holland x Reader

✧ Featuring: Vampire!Harrison Osterfield, F/n, Zendaya, bartender, patrons.

✧ Summary: you meet Tom in a pub, but he is lusting for your blood rather than you, or both.

✧ WARNINGS: ignore the summary, angsty? alcohol, pubs, blood, vampirism, supernatural themes, injured! Reader, comforting friends (well one of them is comforting).

✧Word Count:1640

✧ A/n: f/n = friends name, requests are open!!!

Your fingers tapped lightly on the surface of the countertop, leaning slightly on it as you waited for the bartender to fill the three glasses up with liquor.

You turned your head to the left, looking at the table were your friends sat.

Zendaya looked uninterested in whatever f/n was telling her, probably the latest crush she had.

Zendaya rolled her eyes, her gaze drifting over to you as she gave you a pleading look, to come over and rescue her from f/n’s rambling. You let out a chuckle, shaking your head. You turned back around quickly as you heard glass clinking against the wood counter in front of you.

"Thank you." You spoke, as the bartender smiled at you, then walked away from you to serve another customer, you quickly grabbed some napkins from the napkin dispenser, before huddling the three glass cups together, before carefully picking them up, your tongue poking out just a bit as you concentrated on trying not to drop them, just as you turned around you bumped straight into someone, making you let out a yelp, dropping all the three glasses onto the floor, making the glasses shatter into pieces while liquid spilled onto the floor. 

"Shit." You cursed, pushing the fallen strands of your hair that fell in front of your face behind your ear hastily.

"I am so sorry, I should have been paying more attention to where I was walking." You apologized, kneeling so you could clean up the mess, the guy followed suit, as you used the napkins to pick up the broken glass, putting it into a not so broken glass cup.

"It's fine, I'm just as much to blame as you are, I wasn't really paying attention." Tom spoke, as he started to pick up the broken glass. His friend Harrison leaned against the counter as he watched the whole interaction, smirking at his friend. Tom snapped his head up to look at you, staring at you intently, his eyes quickly scanned your body up and down, biting his lip, as his eyes darkening with lust.

"I'm such a clutz." You mumbled to yourself, though Tom could hear you. Tom has about to say something when he heard you let out a swear word, then he smelt the sweet metallic scent of blood, his heart quickened, as he gulped trying to ignore his animalistic side that was coming out, god how he wanted to sink his teeth into your neck and suck you dry.

You grabbed one of the unused napkins wrapping it around the cut on your finger. While Tom looked away from you, gulping again, as he tried to compose himself, the sclera of his eyes turned blood-red, as dark veins appeared under his eyes as the blood pumped through them, his canine teeth extend into razor-sharp fangs, poking against his bottom lip.

Toms eyes snapped closed, then snapped open again, as the desire to drink your blood only grew stronger, he had to get out of this pub before he sinks his fangs into your neck. His eyes snapped open again, as he clenched his fist to his side. The piece of broken glass he was holding pierced into the palm of his skin, but he didn’t care, it would heal.

You were just about to say something to the guy when he quickly stood up abruptly, making you flinch, your head snapped up to look at him, noticing he looked pale, also looked like he was in pain.

"I have to go." the guy spat out, turning around and walking away from you and out of the pub, while you just looked at him in shock, his friend who was watching him had wide eyes, he quickly followed after him, turning back to look at you and giving you an apologetic look.

You stared at them in shock. What the hell, just happened? Did I do something wrong? You thought.

You were too deep in thought that you didn’t notice that f/n and Zendaya come over to you. Until you felt a hand gently touch your shoulder. Zendaya kneeled beside you, concern clouding her eyes as she looked at you.

“You okay?” she asked, as she started to pick up the rest of the glass.

“Yeah, I think.” you squeaked out.

“He was so hot, you should have gotten his number or at least his friends’ number, he was hot too.” f/n spoke, making you and Zendaya look up at her as she stood in front of you’s. You gave her a confused look while Zendaya gave her an annoyed look.

F/n turned her gaze towards Zendaya, f/n shrugged her shoulders before speaking.

“What, I just want my friend to date, to finally be happy.” F/n she exclaimed, making Zendaya roll her eyes, while you just gave f/n a smile.

“Y/n, doesn’t have to date to be happy.” Zendaya scoffed, clearly annoyed by f/n antics in trying to get you a boyfriend.

“But she deserves a boyfriend.” f/n huffed.

“And she will find one, stop pressuring her too much.” Zendaya sighed.

“I wasn’t, he is hot she is hot, what a perfect combination.” f/n explained.

Zendaya let out a scoff, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Just because they look hot, doesn’t mean there is any deep emotional attachment, a relationship isn’t about looks f/n.” Zendaya snapped.

F/n was about to argue back, but Zendaya interrupted her again.

“Here take these to the bartender, y/n and I will wait for you outside, we are going to the club.” Zendaya ordered her, as she held up the two half-broken glass cups filled with broken glass towards f/n.

F/n let out a huff, grabbing them and giving Zendaya a bitchy glare, Zendaya returned the look.

“Fine.” She huffed, turning on her heel and walking to the counter.

“Bit harsh.” You spoke, making Zendaya look at you, she just shrugged.

“She will live.” Zendaya grumbled, helping you up, as you and she made your way out of the pub, leaning against the wall, as you two waited for f/n to come out.

“You know she isn’t that bad, she’s just showing her love” you spoke, making Zendaya snort.

“Love, she is obsessed with your love life and mine, even her own, I don’t even know why we are still friends with her?” Zendaya grumbled as she unlocked her phone, opening the Instagram app, and scrolling through it.

You let out a snicker, your eyes wandered down to the napkin wrapped around your finger, you let out a sigh, just as your thoughts were about to consume you, Zendaya spoke.

“Stop.” She warned, making you look at her.

“What?” you replied.

“Stop thinking about that asshole.” She responded.

“Maybe he hates blood?” you mumbled, looking back at the napkin that was wrapped around your finger.

“He is an asshole, it’s not your fault you cut your finger on a piece of broken glass and he couldn’t handle it.” Zendaya replied.

“I just, he as kinda cute, and I thought maybe I could, you know, ask for his number, maybe go on a date, I don’t know.” You confessed, Zendaya gave you a sad smile before speaking.

“And you will meet more kinda cute guys who won’t run away at the sight of blood.” Zendaya responded.

You were about to say something, but f/n voice cut you off, making you and Zendaya snap your head towards her direction.

“Let’s go bitches.” She shouted, grabbing yours and Zendaya’s hand, pulling you two with her towards the direction of the club.

・。・゜☆・。・。☆・゜・。・゜。・。・゜☆・。・。 MEANWHILE

Tom leaned against the wall, trying to control his breathing. It was working, his eyes were back to normal and his fangs were gone. His face was pressed up against the club sign, the cold metal, cooling his skin. Tom felt a gush of wind by his side.

“Are you okay?” Harrison asked, walking over towards Tom. He rested his hand on Tom’s shoulder, his eyes clouded with concern as he looked at his friend, waiting for his reply.

“Yeah, I just, I lost control and I had to get out of there before I sucked her dry or worse ripped her throat out.” Tom replied. Turning his head to the side to look at Harrison.

Harrison’s eyebrows were raised as he smirked at Tom.

“What?” Tom asked, giving Harrison a questionable look.

“Oh, just that I could see you giving her the bedroom eyes.” Harrison smirked, making Tom roll his eyes.

“Admit it, you started to develop feelings for this chick, even though you just meet her.” Harrison spoke.

“Maybe... it’s not like I can do anything about it, besides I don’t want her to be dragged into my chaotic life, I don’t want the reason for her death to be my doing, or the reason she turned to be my doing.” Tom sighed.

“You are such a hopeless romantic Tommy, but you will probably end up stalking her.” Harrison chuckled.

“Will not.” Tom huffed, smacking Harrison in the chest hard, which made Harrison let out an oof noise.

“Sure, you won’t, now let’s go find some girls to compel, I’m starving.” Harrison spoke, jumping down from the building and landing on the ground on his feet perfectly, Harrison composed himself, before looking up at Tom, giving him a questionable look.

Tom stared at Harrison on the ground, his mind wandering to you, maybe another girl would be the perfect distraction to get you off his mind. Tom landed on the ground beside Harrison, standing up straight, and fixing his outfit, turning to look at Harrison who was smirking at him.

“After you.” Tom smirked, as they walked into the club…

[fleursowl]

Now and Forever

An unprompted fic that came to me in the middle of the night. I don’t remember writing it, which is a little creepy, but ah well.

Warnings: infidelity (kinda??), a LOT of angst, barely barely there but if you squint you can see where it would be suggested smut

Simon

I didn’t want to do it. Hell, I wish I hadn’t done it. But I did.

Baz had too much to deal with, too many problems and fights to face to deal with me. After all, he’d fallen in love with Simon Snow, the Chosen One, the future Mage, the magician.

And now I am none of those things- except Simon Snow. I still don’t feel like him very much, either.

I don’t feel like him especially when I lie in the spare bed of Dev’s flat, ignoring the worried messages and missed calls from him.

You’d have thought he’d given up by now.

It’s been a two weeks, after all.

Two weeks since I walked out.

Baz

The only way I know he isn’t dead is through Penny.

She’s sitting opposite me, her eyes sad, but not the my-best-friend-is-missing-and-could-be-dead type of sad, the yes-Baz-I-know-he’s-breaking-your-heart type of sad. She refuses to tell me where he is, though.

“Come on, Baz.” she attempts, poking my foot with hers. “You haven’t even left the flat for two weeks. Dev and Niall will be there, and Micah, and everyone else-“

“Fine.” I interrupt, just to get her to shut up. Crowley, I can’t stand living with myself. “I’ll come.”

Simon

I’m not sure why I let Dev persuade me into coming. After all, I’m hiding, arent I? Hiding from Baz- hiding from my responsibilities- hiding from my life. But I suppose it’ll be a good distraction from all of those things.

When we get there it’s just me, Dev and Niall- Trixie and her girlfriend (I forget the name) haven’t arrived yet. There’s a boy across the bar looking at me unsubtly underneath his eyelashes, and it makes me feel slightly ill. I stand up, and the blood rushes to my head.

“I’m just going for a smoke.” I announce, and make accidental eye contact with the boy once more before walking into the alley and lighting a cigarette.

“Hi.” the boy says, appearing next to me and leaning against the wall.

“Hi?” I say more uncertainly, and before I know what’s happening, I’m being pushed against a wall and being snogged within an inch of my life.

It’s weird. I’ve only ever kissed two people in my life, and this boy isn’t like either of them. Agatha was soft and tentative and never really there, always chaste- and Baz was, well, Baz was everything.

This boy is neither of those things. But he’s a distraction.

A small, choked noise is made to the side of us, and we jump apart. Well. I jump. The boy’s hand is still on my hip.

I look to the side, and, standing there, is Baz and Penny. Penny looks extremely uncomfortable and also rather scared, but behind that is a pity I can’t bloody stand to see.

Baz looks ruined.

Baz

Simon Snow is standing in front of me. Simon Snow, who I haven’t seen in two weeks. Simon Snow, my boyfriend. Or so I thought.

I’ve been stabbed before. I’ve been shot before. I’ve been shoved inside a coffin with no food water air or blood, and it was nothing like this.

Nothing compares to this pain.

He’s standing there, panting, with his hair messy just like I make it, and his cheeks red just like I make them, and his lips swollen just like I turn them. Except, this time it wasn’t me.

I’d always had my suspicions that I wasn’t alive, but now there’s no doubt. There’s no way in hell or on earth that you can feel like this, feel this pain, have this screaming mantra in the back of your head, have this hand clutched around your heart, without being alive.

Oh, how I wish I was dead.

Simon

His grey eyes have turned almost black, and he’s shaking.

“So,” he whispers, clenching his fists, “This is where you’ve been.”

“Baz, no, it’s not-“ He’s walking away. “Baz- wait!” I call desperately after him.

“Let him go, Simon.” Penny says sadly. “There’s nothing you can say right now.”

But I’m not going to do that.

I’ve known for a long time now, and seeing the hurt in his eyes, the raw betrayal, the pure, truthful pain, I’m in pieces. This is how it feels, I think, this is how it feels to be in love.

I’ve liquidised and I’m spilling down, down, down into the drains like the scum I am.

How could I do this?

I set off at a run towards our flat- his flat- yet I still don’t meet him on the way there. Curse him and his long, fit legs.

To my surprise, there’s still a key in my pocket.

Well. It’s now or never.

Baz

As soon as I reach our flat- my flat- I collapse onto the nearest chair by the table, still shaking.

The tears take a while to come, shock having numbed my brain and nerves. But oh, when they come, they come. I’m crying him a river, yet he’s basking in the ocean, and I’m drowning, I’m drowning, I’m drowning-

At some point I must have thrown a vase across the room- the vase he produced when he pulled a bunch of roses out from behind his back on the third week, mumbled stutters of I know you’re not a girl but immediately covered by an intense kiss that lead to an intense tangle of sheets and gasps and first times.

There’s a noise at the door, but I don’t register it. I’m slumped over the table, my hands in my hair, and for one of the first times in my life, I don’t care what I look like. I can’t move, I can’t think, I can’t even breathe. All I can do is sit here and cry, sit here and hurt hurt hurt.

Simon

I’ve never seen Baz cry before. Sure, he got a little teary at the end of Titanic- even though he vehemently disputed this- and sometimes he cries a little in his sleep, in the middle of what seems to be a bad nightmare, but by the time I’ve shaken him awake and pressed soft kisses to his forehead, he’s fast asleep again, cheeks already dry.

This is nothing like that.

This is an avalanche.

He’s sitting at the table, shaking. Still shaking. There’s a- Crowley, is that a pool of tears on the table? I turn, and see a smashed vase on the other side of the room.

Fuck, this is it.

“Baz.” I say quietly, moving towards him. He startles, looking up at me, and tears are still streaming down his cheeks- pooling in his eyes and then spilling over, accompanied by heart-wrenching shudders. “Baz, love, I-“ I reach towards him, and he flinches away so hard he falls off his chair.

“You don’t get to call me that right now.” he says, and where there would be venom, where I know he intends for there to be venom, there is just a chasm of sadness. I pull up a chair, and sit.

He stands up, and walks out of the room.

Oh, Crowley.

Penny

Simon Snow is an idiot, and you heard it here first.

Well, maybe that’s a little harsh. He isn’t an idiot. He just doesn’t think. I know he’s in love with Baz, but I also knew that Baz has been in love with him since second year. I just decided not to tell Simon.

But Crowley, you’d think Simon would’ve worked it out. A fool could’ve seen.

The same goes for Baz- the amount of times he’s quietly confessed to me that he doesn’t think Simon loves him is, well, shocking. A fool could see the love Simon has for that boy. He just doesn’t always know how to show it.

And now it’s all going to blow up. I’m not going to be a part of it this time. I’ve had enough of fixing them. They need to work this out themselves, for once.

Simon

Baz is sitting by the window with his knees pulled into his chest and his chin rested atop them. It makes him look younger, and my heart tugs. I sit down on the floor next to him. He doesn’t acknowledge my presence.

“I’ve never been the best with words.” I start, and a flicker of something flashes in his eyes, but it’s gone as quickly as it comes. “But I want to try.”

I get up, and sit cross legged opposite him on the window seat, taking his hand.

He doesn’t pull away. It’s a start.

“Having my magick taken away from me- giving my magick away- is like- it’s like a part of me is missing.” I begin, and his eyes briefly meet mine before he looks away. He looks pitiful, even now. “And I’ve tried to fill that missing part of me with other things. Things like you, and Penny, and Dev and Niall, and- I don’t know, just, having someone. But I need to be someone.”

“You are someone.” Baz whispers. “You’re everything. You’re everything to me and Penny.”

We stare at each other for a few, intense seconds, and my breath is taken away.

“I just- for fuck’s sake Baz, I have so many emotions.” I groan, banging my head against the window. It rattles. “And, the way I feel about you, it- it scares me sometimes.”

“I scare you?” Baz whispers, looking up. If I thought he looked hurt before, in the alley, this is a million times worse. This time it looks like he hates himself.

“No! Baz- Baz, love, that’s not what I meant.” I whisper, stroking his hand with my thumb. “I meant- the way I feel about you- how intense and powerful and consuming it is- that scares me. And, well, I’m not the Chosen One anymore, am I.” I laughed humourlessly. “That’s who you fell in love with. My magick. So I had to leave- before it got worse. Before you were tied down with a useless, uninteresting sod like me.”

“Simon Snow.” Baz whispers, “If tonight has proved anything, it’s that you are far from uninteresting.” He leans forward, taking my other hand. “I didn’t fall in love with the Chosen One. Yes, that’s what first attracted me to you, but that’s not what I fell in love with.” He takes a deep sigh, closing his eyes. “I fell in love with the boy who jumped in a lake in the middle of winter to save a baby bird. The boy who eats crisps at his desk, and can’t concentrate unless he’s chewing on something. Who always wakes up smiling, no matter what nightmare he’s had the night before. Who never gives up on his friends, ever, and always sees the good in people. Who has faults, and flaws, like every other fucking human being, but is inherently a good person. And that’s you,” he jabs me in the stomach, “not your magick.”

“You love me?” I whisper, caught massively off guard.

“Crowley, Snow, is that all you took from that? Yes, I’m in love with you. I have been for a long time now, and I don’t intend to stop anytime soon.” he says, raising an eyebrow at me. It contrasts so greatly with his red-rimmed eyes that I burst out laughing- or crying, I’m not sure which I’m doing.

“Fuck, Baz, I love you, I love you, I’m so in love with you” I laugh-sob, collapsing into his chest. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry.” Baz nuzzles into me, his body relaxing.

Baz

He’s home, and he’s in my arms, and that’s all that matters. It doesn’t matter that he smells like another boy and cheap alcohol, he’s here. He’s crying into my chest, and I’m crying into his shoulder. But we’re both laughing.

“Wanna go shower?” I offer tentatively. Simon pulls off me, and nods, wiping his eyes. We stand up, and he takes a deep sigh. “Yeah, that would be good. I feel, I dunno, unclean.”

I pinch my nose and smirk at him. “Yeah, and you smell it too.” He grins, and punches me on the shoulder.

Simon

I could live as long as eighty, and I will never get used to the sight of Baz naked. He gets in the shower before me, of course, bloody bathroom hog that he is, and I nearly slip over when I see him.

Crowley, he’s fit.

I move towards him, wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my chin on his shoulder.

“Hello there, Snow.” he says without turning around, and I hum softly into his shoulder.

“Any reason you’re being so touchy?”

I let myself relax into him, the full weight of everything that happened sinking in.

“I’m sorry.” I murmur, pressing a kiss to his neck. “I didn’t like it.” Another kiss. “‘Was strange.” Another kiss. “Not like you.” Another kiss. “Nowhere near as good as you.” Another kiss. “Didn’t even want it.” Another kiss. “I’ve missed you.” A longer, heavier kiss.

By the time I’m finished Baz is flushed- he must’ve drunk before he went out with Penny- and is panting slightly. He spins around, his hands on my waist, and fixes me with a look that makes me shiver all over.

“Let’s get his smell off you, shall we?” he murmurs, pressing me against the wall. I sigh in relief, and tilt my head back.

This is home. This is where I want to be. In Baz’s arms.

Now, and forever.

[kaiinyourarea]

Fix Me Not (16) | Sugawara Koushi X Reader

Wattpad: heartbeats_forU Previous chapters can be found on my tumblr account/profile <3 ___

              16. This time I fear there's no one to turn to

(Yn)

"Yoo-hoo!"

I froze in my seat and felt like I was in a movie where the girl protagonist meets someone important and their hair suddenly flows along with the wind gracefully. I looked at Ya-chan who was just as shocked and confused as me.

"(Yn)-chaaaaan! Long time no see!"

"W-who let you in--AHCK!"

I was cut off by the energetic guy giving me a bone-crushing hug. Wow, I almost forgot that he's one of those clingy bestfriends.

"You could've visited me before, you know? Long time no see your face!" I joked before hugging him back. I looked around to see if my mom was present but she's not. It's not like I'm being careful though. She knows how close I am with this guy even though we're just friends.

"That's mean! You're already shouting at me? Didn't you miss me? I missed you!"

He was about to cling on me again when I moved away, his front and arms hitting the dining table instead. He backed away instantly with a pouty look before sitting on a chair. Yachi excused herself and quickly went back to our shared room. She's been really quiet since yesterday and also a lot more panicky than usual. I wonder if it's because of school.

"Tooru, what the heck? You're so enthusiastic. You even barged in without telling me!" I exclaimed before handing him a glass of water. He's still wearing his after training attire so I think he came from volleyball practice.

"Why didn't you go to Aoba Johsai, (Yn)? It's like hell without you," he said with a grin.

"It's not like we've been classmates before, idiot. Why are you here? What if we moved to a different house and you barged in on other people?"

"That's not possible. Can you stop worrying too much? I might think that you still have feelings for me-- ow, that hurts!" he cried out.

"I'll sew your mouth shut if you bring that up again," I warned in a serious tone but we both laughed anyway.

There's really a good kind of feeling whenever I'm with him. Maybe it's because he was one of the firsts to take my feelings and situation into consideration or maybe because he's overall a really nice guy? It's both.

Oikawa Tooru.

He's the guy I had feelings for back in middle school. I only met him during volleyball-related events before since we weren't in the same school. I kinda had a crush on him when we first talked to each other because he was so cute. Plus, he's a great volleyball player.

But Sugawara Koushi is my number one!

"You don't want me to bring that up? Why? (Yn)-chan has a boyfriend already? Are you keeping it a secret from your mom?" he snarked.

"I don't have a boyfriend. Why are we not awkward though? It's been years... and you're still stupid--"

"Stupidly in love with you."

I immediately glared at his comment before rolling my eyes. It's been years. He couldn't possibly mean that. I wanted to joke around with him and play along but Koushi might get the wrong idea even though he's not with us at the moment.

"How's practice? You're still doubting yourself?" I asked, half teasing and half serious.

I've been to their volleyball practices back then so I've seen him in action but only for a few times since we're both busy middle-schoolers and he has ranted to me before. Even though we only bonded for a short period of time, it was enough for us to become comfortable in each other's presence.

I saw the curve on his lips turn into a straight line as he suddenly became quiet. I looked at him while he drank the water I gave earlier. As I was observing him, I began to feel conscious about how I looked. Compared to him who looks like the typical campus heartthrob even when he's just breathing, I looked like a potato in my oversized white shirt and white shorts. I know I'm pretty but in front of him? I look like a sack.

"I saw Tobio-chan again," he started, his cheerful facade completely disappearing. I nodded at him to urge him to continue before standing up to comb my hair a bit.

"Do you want me to hear something from me?" I sincerely asked him.

"Yeah, even though I can hear you in my brain already--"

"You have a brain? Joke. Seriously though, you're your own. You don't have to surpass anyone you consider greater than you. You're already great, Tooru. I'm not trying to get in your way, you know that but I'm just reminding you to have pride in yourself as well. They might have natural talents but your hardwork is something else. I'm proud of you."

I kept on remembering Koushi while talking to Tooru. I've seen Kageyama Tobio back in middle school and I know that he's now in Karasuno's volleyball team with Koushi. Isn't it crazy how the two setters that I know are both linked to Kageyama?

That reminds me... if there are two setters on the team, doesn't it mean one of them has to be out of the court most of the time? I've also heard from Hitoka about the people considered as the 'regulars'.

I hope Koushi is not feeling the same way as Tooru. They're both great players. Regular player or not, they're amazing players and I'm proud of them both.

__________

"An old friend visited last night. I'm sorry I couldn't answer your call!" I apologized to my one and only bae, Sugawara Koushi. We're walking to the park today because I asked him to play volleyball with me. He was calling me last night so he can video chat with me but  my phone was in the room and on silent!

"It's fine. I was just worried but it's fine now. May I ask who it was?"

"Oikawa Tooru. I heard you had a practice game with their team."

I saw how his brows furrowed right after I mentioned Tooru.

"The suitor left you alone but it's a volleyball player now?"

"What do you mean by that?" I asked, clinging on him slightly with a pout.

"Nothing."

"Koushi, tell me," I whined.

"It's nothing."

I feel like he's a bit mad at me for not answering his calls but I'm trying to make up for it now so why is he not saying anything? I'm pretty sure he's not just being the usual quiet and composed. He's being quiet on purpose!

I kept on asking him but all I got was the shrug of his shoulders and a few monotone phrases. I removed my hands that were holding onto him earlier when he continued on answering me in a harsh and uninterested tone. I didn't want to anger him more by being more annoying. I still can't get over how composed and charming their manager is and as much as I hate to admit, I'm trying to be more like her just in case Koushi likes girls like her more than girls like me.

He didn't even react and care when I started to slow down my walking pace. I didn't even say anything bad! It's not like Tooru's making a move on me, too. I'm going crazy!

We barely get to hang out with each other and I want him to talk more but he's being like this. It's disheartening. It makes me more jealous of their manager because she's always with them.

Does he not like me anymore?

[believerindaydreams]

you knew I had to ask K for the trio :3 I love me some post-apocalypse stuf

in which there is a stubborn refusal to settle on which apocalypse this actually is

“Terminat hora diem- what utter nonsense I’m spouting. A pet affectation, at best.” Talking to fill the void has never been my art; but our resident expert has abandoned the attempt. His face turned to the wall, prayer beads slipping through his fingers. Quite dead to the world.

Perhaps Tuco’s only being reasonable, when the world’s gone so mad as this. I defied the laws of society, true; but I never thought to see them so madly cast aside.

“In days of peace, perhaps it was,” Father Paul says, gripping my shoulder with his sun-browned hand. His face has never acquired laugh lines like his brother’s; but that harsh and look seems only fitting now. “But these are not the first bad times the church has seen- we’ve learned how necessary it is, to salvage after disaster. For the sake of mind as well as spirit. Your Latin is a treasure to be shared out, not forgotten.”

“Just the same as your Spanish, in that case.” Tuco will never press the point, so I must perforce.

I don’t expect him to take it well, but the man’s a stoic after the best; not a swallow, not a flicker of self-regard. “You’re right. Though it’s been a long time, since I was Pablo Ramirez.”

“I’ll help you,” Tuco says eagerly, distracted from his empathy; and for that one bright look of eagerness, I think our resident prior would have made a harder sacrifice.

I would have done myself, if the chance was there; but Tuco’s known long since that I’d die readily enough to protect him from my errors.

And considering what we’ve already lost? What else is there to give?

******

“I knew before you told me,” Tuco says that night. Holding fast to me with more strength than wit.

A fragile lovemaking, this, and not properly deserving the name at all- nothing lofty and transformative, neither is it forgetful and cheerfully animal. My pareja has been talking incessantly now he’s found his voice again, proving his humanity every minute; and it is not how this should be but nothing is now.

“You heard it on the radio?” I’d been with Pablo when the news had come through, a lazily meaningless game of backgammon.

(Was this how superstitions began, in past centuries? For I can’t envision touching a backgammon board again with any pleasure.)

“No- no. I woke up from my siesta, and I saw Blondie standing by the window, smoking a cigarillo. He said to me, it’s finished. That’s all, but the way he said it! So much sadness in his voice… I hid beneath the covers. Then he was gone when I looked again.”

“You know he isn’t here, Tuco.” Fancy’s fancy, but fact is fact. Blondie’s not coming back this time. Won’t again walk through that door, covered in mud and exhausted from his camping trip, patiently resigned to Tuco’s lavish coddling and my own amused pleasure at his reappearance.

If I had kept up my old trade, all those contacts and lethal information at my fingertips, would he be alive now? Most likely not- an earlier grave for all us three, if I’m being honest with myself.

I wish to lie. I wish to berate myself with absurd scenarios in which we lived, whatever improbable unmarked path would have kept the three of us together. Now, that’s hardly more sensible-

“If I’d gone to him, maybe he’d be here,” Tuco says hoarsely, a dry sob sticking in his throat. “If I’d taken Blondie by the hand, if I hadn’t turned away-”

Thank a god I don’t believe in, that one of us is rational. “That’s nonsense and you know it.”

“I believe in miracles- Angel, do you know what a hellish thing it is, to believe? To think that if you’d only been holier, your faith might have been enough-”

he struggles with me then, roughly pushing his way out of my grasp, and I don’t dare stop him; it takes all my effort to keep old instincts from rising up. I might hurt him to the quick, if he caught me by surprise; and Tuco knows that well.

(That his native caution has so far deserted him, that’s a worse hurt than all the rest together. The world burning is its own affair; but my pareja is irreplaceable.)

(The more so, because Blondie wasn’t either.)

“I hate- I hate-” he’s crying now, at the foot of the bed; and it wrings my heart with a strange relief. He’ll be far more himself after such an outpouring, those quick sympathies and sudden rages of his.  

“That’s fair. Don’t berate yourself for that.”

“I hate how hungry I am.”

Rather the nonsequitur: but that’s easily remedied. It’s only a moment’s work to step out and pluck out a round, perfect orange. Listening all the time, if he should attempt something unfortunate in my absence.

But he’s not moved at all when I come back. Limp fingers won’t hold the offered sphere; I take it back, contemplating how to peel it. There’s a knife conveniently to hand, in the pocket of my neatly folded trousers.

I don’t think I could bring myself to commit even so small a violence, in Tuco’s presence. Not today. Better to take a cue from my innamorato, and tear it with my teeth- tough and rather bitter work, but doable-

Tuco’s fit looks more like a seizure than giggling; but giggling it nevertheless is. He sprawls across the quilts, close enough to touch again; I refrain until the spasming’s stopped. Then stroke him with slow careful strokes, the oil from my hands transferring to his flesh, staining him wherever I touch.

“Oh, Angel, don’t- don’t try to be him. It wouldn’t ever work.”

“That’s not what I-”

“It was a little.”

He hands me the knife; I finish quickly, putting aside the ravaged peel. Orange segments neat and unbroken, the way that Tuco prefers them. They sit on the bed, untouched.

“It occurs to me. That fruit bowl might hold the last oranges either of us will ever see.”

“Yeah, I thought of that too.”

For all his claim of appetite, his look at the fruit is uninterested at best. There’s more light in his eye when it falls on my body, still naked as his own- it’s very cold, this late. I draw the bedclothes over us, grasping for his warmth. We should have Blondie for this; and that small loss is a banality of almost unimaginable pettiness, but that does nothing to stop the odd tear dropping into Tuco’s curls.

“I mean I want to eat something, my belly’s empty. You’re here and I want to fuck you, and I want- I should be in mourning, shouldn’t I? Shouldn’t my heart be broken?”

My only comparable experience would be with my mentor; and she’d left such clear and precise instructions, a rigorous schedule to maintain, that I was left with no blank time for grieving. Blondie would never be so organised, as to provide a forthright message-

“If you have a joke, Angel, I think I could stand to hear it.”

“…it certainly would be ironic, if he’d won his wings for the sole purpose of consoling you.” There will be better times to point out the probability of his dreaming. Not tonight.

Tuco doesn’t laugh. He snorts.

“Like my partner was a saint- ha. No, he was human like me, and I’m glad of that too! You should have some of this orange, Angel, I think you’re getting light headed.”

“All right.” I sit up against the headboard, pull him upright with me. Carefully detach a single delicate segment with my bare hands, pop one end of it into my mouth. Palpitate it delicately to squeeze out the juice.

“You make that look pretty sexy…”

“Come and get it, then.”

The following could be described only as a mess.

Orange over the quilt, on my thigh, crushed against my teeth. A chunk of peel lodged jauntily behind Tuco’s ear, while juice drips down his mustache; he licks at it contentedly.

There’s waste to this, an extravagance that would seem rather contemptible to my mentor- and if she’d ever thought to mention what to do in case of apocalypse, I might have better notions, but the thought really hadn’t occurred. This time is already more grace than I’d know what to do with.

But I have not lain with my lovers for so many years, without letting their appreciation of softness bind to my sharp awareness of every moment. If he’s all I have left, I’ll have him and kiss him again-

(why, there won’t be any need to translate Spanish in bed, now-)

“God above, I’m glad to see this. Been scared to hell about you two.”

“…that’s Blondie, isn’t it?” Tuco remarks. Not turning his head.

“It is.”

“So he’s definitely there, it’s not just me.”

“Right.”

“But he wasn’t here this afternoon.”

“No?” Blondie says, looking quizzical. “I was still with Penny- it’s a lucky thing she had the plane all fueled up, we made it here on fumes. Or not even that, we kinda…crashed, actually. Not too badly. She’s clever that way.”

“Is all well?” If I allowed a bagatelle like being caught in flagrante with orange rind in my hair, by a man who has no business being anything but a ghost, to put me off my poise…it’d be a rather poor show.

“Sure! Sure. She’s waiting for me to come back with the van, so we can get all the cargo back here. I’ll have to talk to Father Paul about that, but I needed to see you two safe first-”

“I think I must be a terrible person,” Tuco says musingly, while I’m preoccupied with rediscovering every angle of my innamorato’s anatomy. Each familiar, and yet new as sunrise-

“Why?” we both chorus.

“That cargo- I guess we get to keep it, yeah?”

“Uh-huh,” Blondie agrees, between breathless kisses. (His rasping stubble is paining me, where the citric acid stings, and I would not trade the sensation for anything.) “What about it? I thought you’d be happy.”

“Oh, I don’t know. If I have you two…what kind of catastrophe is that, huh?”

“A bad one,” Blondie says mock-solemnly, wrapping an arm around his shoulder.

“A very bad one,” I agree, taking his hand.

“…it’s all the other people I feel bad for,” Tuco says gloomily, huddling between us. “Who aren’t lucky like me, you know? I mean, I’m the kind of person who- who gets killed in the first five minutes, that’s what, and then everybody else dies too, and it’s just- two blonds walk off to Eden in the sunset-”

“We’re not gonna let that happen,” Blondie insists. “You’re gonna make it through the same as us- aren’t we, Angel?”

It’s strange, really, that everything’s changed and yet nothing has at all.

“Of course.”

I drag the knife along my tongue, carefully cleaning it of acid. I may need it in future. Quite soon even, if there’s trouble on the road. 

But not, I think, just yet. 

Unfortunate Penny and her plane full of orange marmalade will simply have to wait.

[boydgearloose]

how do you feel about Fenro? do you think it has a chance when it comes to character development?

OKAY so i have been trying to figure out how to answer this without going on a whole ass tangent but however i cannot so read more it is fellas let’s do this

basically my feelings on fenro are….well i don’t wanna say complicated because i do REALLY love it and can’t deny that, even if i don’t post a lot of it here BUT i am gonna say that i’m not a huge fan of how a lot of people portray it and that might be because i tend to get super attached to how i see certain dynamics?? but still i feel the need to go off a little bit about that

let me start this off by saying one thing: as of now, fenton and gyro’s relationship is one of the most interesting things in the show to me and not even in a ship way, i just really love their scenes together and seeing them interact because hey they’re my two favorite characters! what’s not to love?

however, the fandom interpretations kinda throw me off because when i see content of these two it’s either like…..gyro currently in the show having a thing for fenton and being hard on him because he likes him or whatever OR gyro just straight-up being unforgivably terrible and awful to him for no damn reason to the point of where he’s portrayed as an antagonist 

and both of them are extremely fuckin oocfirst of all, the whole “tsundere” gyro thing is kinda….weird imo? i mean, yeah he’d probably be the type to deny his feelings at first because he’s a pretty closed off person but it’s such an overly exaggerated and boring way to go about this whole thing

gyro and fenton currently have a looong way to go like i don’t think they hate each other in the slightest (frank more or less confirmed this) but there definitely is a lot of tension there so anything romantic happening that soon feels weird to me and super uninteresting compared to the other options

in order for this to work, it would have to be a LONG way into the future but that’s still possible! one thing i find super interesting that nobody ever brings up is that their whole dynamic just changed: they’re on the same level now because they both work for scrooge, gyro has no right to boss fenton around and they’re going to have to learn how to work together as equals and develop a friendship from there

THAT’S WHY I FIND THEIR RELATIONSHIP IN THE SHOW SO INTERESTING AND NOBODY EVER PLAYS WITH IT and that makes me irrationally mad like i’m literally counting the DAYS until we get to see them interact again with this new dynamic and i know for more or less a fact that we’re gonna get some good development out of their relationship this season and everyone just….doesn’t…..talk about it……they just pull some “lol gyro is a jerk to fenton bc he likes him xD” crap AND THAT’S REALLY NOT IT MAN JUST LOOK AT THE POTENTIAL THESE TWO HAVE THAT YOU’RE WASTING ON THAT AWFUL CLICHE TROPE

now that i’ve covered that bad interpretation, let’s move on to the second take because boy it really makes me mad too!!! now i’m not trying to deny that gyro is WAY too damn harsh on fenton because he definitely is and i haven’t seen anyone try to ignore that (if they do then they’re wrong bc gyro’s an asshat)

gyro is…..not the best socially, as we all know, and he has the tendency to act like he’s above everyone else and this is definitely portrayed with how he’s treated fenton thus far and he needs a stern talking to and lesson on how to treat people the way they deserve to be treated bc damn he’s got some issues!!! but i have no doubt that will happen because the crew has nothing but positive words for gyro

however, like……okay i am really trying to think of a way to word this that doesn’t make me sound like i’m dunking on fenton bc I’M NOT HE’S SUCH A WONDERFUL CHARACTER AND GENUINELY NICE PERSON but sometimes his attempts to be helpful kind of…….are things that would make a reasonable person angry? and gyro already has a short fuse so like how else is he gonna react when he finds out someone posted his secret information online and got it stolen or that someone’s sneaking around with an unstable invention of his and doing stuff with it that he said not to do?

this ties in with the whole thing where people infantilize the shit out of fenton and refuse to see him as an adult and instead think he’s some poor wittle defenseless baby who can’t stick up for himself uwu so he needs someone to save him uwuwuwuwu which…HOO BOY I DON’T LIKE THAT ONE BIT

fenton is a bit of a pushover who tries to hard to help others, yes, but how can you watch who is gizmoduck and think he’s 100% defenseless against gyro??? the whole episode is about him pushing past misconceptions and standing up for himself so why do you think he’d have a problem telling gyro to go fuck himself if it came down to it like HE EVEN KIND OF STOOD UP TO HIM IN THAT EPISODE JUST. GOD. FENTON ISN’T HELPLESS Y’ALL HE’S A 25+-YEAR-OLD MAN WHO WANTS TO SEE THE BEST IN PEOPLE BUT ISN’T AFRAID TO TELL SOMEONE OFF WHEN THEY DESERVE IT

kinda backtracking here but fenton’s whole thing is that he wants to help people but he’s too impulsive with how he goes about it and it winds up wrong and yeah it’s the thought that counts but that’s such an interesting part of his character and others overlook it to make it seem like gyro continuously torments him or something which he really…..doesn’t, he’s not very nice to him at all but people really take it too far sometimes and act all Edgy about it and it’s a terrible take for both of their characters

honestly what’s interesting about these kind of relationships is that you get to watch them grow and look back in a few months or years at a season 1 episode and think “aww! look how far they’ve come” and it’s gorgeous 

fenro couldn’t possibly work as anything other than a REALLY SLOW BURN i mean like REALLY SLOW but y’know?? slow burns are my JAM so i’m on board! i just really wish more people felt the same way about it instead of rushing it when they haven’t even gotten to the friendship stage in canon yet 

i love where this is going and am too hyped for words to see how they’re gonna interact now that they’re on equal grounds and gyro is gonna be confronted with the fact that he can’t act like he’s above fenton whatsoever anymore (tbh i really think fenton’s gonna do the confronting himself bc like i said, he can do that y’all!!! he can stand up for himself when he’s pushed too far and you all gotta realize that and stop treating him like he’s a baby!!!!!!)

these two are my favorite characters in the show and i trust the crew to give us some good content of em and to develop their relationship in an interesting way because i have yet to be disappointed in any of the other character dynamics they’ve fleshed out and i know whatever they do is gonna kill me

also my friend and i may or may not currently be writing a fic about all of this but i’ll leave that for y’all to find on your own ;) 

SO TL;DR: YES. IT DEFINITELY HAS A LOT OF POTENTIAL AND I THINK IT’S GONNA GET SOME NICE TASTY DEVELOPMENT IN SEASON 2 BUT PEOPLE IGNORE THE DEVELOPMENT PART AND IT MAKES ME ANGRY

[coeurspire]

▲ + Jellal ( lmao not too harsh VHGDFAKS ), ▲ + Chelia, ▲ + Mermaid Heel, ▲ + Alvarez aaaaaand 3 x ▲ of ur choice!!!

a guided tour through the salt mines! / meme.

jellal.  truly unpopular opinion, probably, but he was most interesting to me when he was a villain because at the time, the writing for him was probably best. since, he has been involved in a lot of things that made me actively groan  ( the deux ex jellal moment during tenrou, his involvement with ft in the gmg arc, the way his eyes healed perfectly after he severely injured them ).  he cannot be blamed for bad writing, obviously, but it kind of made me dislike him as a character despite me having liked him previously.

chelia.  there is no way for me not to be harsh here. i do not like this character. i do not like how she essentially replaced sherry in the story. i consider her to too similar to sherry, especially when she was first introduced and there were far too many traits that were extremely similar to her cousin. in a way, chelia is sherry 2.0 with a stronger type of magic and ‘cute’ clumsiness. aside from this, there is very little she does / very few traits she possesses that sherry does not have as well, making her a rather uninteresting character for me. it also does not help that she is involved in one of the most idiotic fights in the entire gmg arc — and given how much pointlessness happens in that arc, this is definitely telling. i obviously talk about her fight alongside lyon against juvia and gray; chelia is canonly weak against water so why the actual hell didn’t juvia, an s-class mage in phantom lord, take advantage of this weakness????? in short, a lot of chelia’s involvement in the story feels nonsensical to me. ( also, people who post chelia content into sherry’s tag. why do you do that. )

mermaid heel.  alongside lamia and saber, this guild is actually one i’d actually love to learn more about? we know very little about them as it is, i believe, the only guild that participated in the final round of the gmg that did  not  have their guild master shown? in fact, i kinda think that compared to other guilds, they were treated especially unfair by the narrative — considering that millianna was essentially demoted to a comic relief character / plot device to further underline that minerva is a bad guy who’d stop at nothing when she could have had a much more meaningful impact on the story? i also do not like the way kagura’s  very justified  resentment towards jellal and erza both was handled; it should have been fleshed out much more before the degree of forgiveness that was later shown in the manga would have felt realistic.

alvarez.  i did not read the arc. i do not care about the arc so all that i know, i know because it was on the dash. it probably could have been a good arc, the same way a lot of arcs could have been good, but given that the last decent arc was tenrou, my expectations were low from the beginning. however, then the typical problems with the later ft arcs came into play: powerful characters once more became suddenly weak / performed considerably below their abilities, and it never seemed like the stakes were actually appropriately high as the ‘good side’ was protected from death to the point where it has become ridiculous. i think no one wants their favourites to die, but writing a war arc and having absolutely no fan favourite die seems cheap me. yes, there was the moment when juvia seemingly died, but i remember the dash that day: no one really thought she would actually stay dead. if anything, people hoped she might because it would finally make it feel like the risks were real.

fanon.  i think most people can agree that fanon is a horrible, horrible thing. especially when it exaggerates a character’s traits to the point where all other aspects of their character seemingly cease to exist. i also do not like it when some headcanons suddenly gain the kind of popularity where people who do not agree with them are accused of not understanding the character. after all, a lot of things are really open to interpretation and unless the creator says something, all headcanons that are in line with the source material are … equally valid?

minor character blogs.  so, this is something i’ve witnessed a lot during my five year stay in this fandom. once in a while, there are people asking “ why are there no blogs for [insert minor character here]??? :( ” and as someone who has written pretty much exclusively minor characters, i can tell you what my experience with writing minor characters is: it can be very difficult to keep the blog going once the initial excitement that someone is writing the minor character dies down. and it is also my experience that a blog that struggles to generate interactions is a blog people start to consider draining. their joy to write the character is the next thing to die and before long, the blog ends up abandoned or deactivated. this is in no way meant to make anyone feel bad and i can understand that not all characters mesh well, but i think that a lot of people cannot really understand how much dedication it takes to write a minor character.

m.ashima.  so, i am not sure if anyone but me remembers it, but there a time when people who  dared  to post their disagreements with the way the manga was going were met with accusations that they were ungrateful, that we had been given the manga and that we should not complain because without the author, the manga would not exist. and sure, that is true. however, it is important to read critically and there is absolutely nothing wrong with pointing out narrative choices made no sense or were problematic  ( stone age omake, all instances of natsu groping lucy / violating her boundaries, juvia doing the same to gray, etc. ).  and in my opinion, as long as this rightful critcism is tagged properly, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. the manga is, in many ways, a decent outline  ( or was, up to the tenrou arc ),  but it was never all that it could have been if all storylines had been developed properly instead of being twisted by the way the narrative eventually catered to the fans.

[steamishot]

End of July

i think i’ll be starting my period sometime in the next 24 hours. my friend who i am synced with just started hers this morning. tomorrow, i am using a sick day to go to to dentist. my dentist is in san gabriel- a 20 minute drive east of my home. in the past, i would only take a half day, but then i thought, why am i stressing and rushing myself to go to work when i have all these sick hours. even more so when there’s not much pending at work. so, i plan on going to the dentist in the morning, having lunch in the area, then coming home and painting my living room and kitchen. my dad asked one of his home depot contacts to come work for us lol. i’ll be taping and painting along with him tomorrow so the job gets done faster. just came back from home depot earlier and bought two gallons of shiny luster paint- the same shade and sheen as my room. i also bought a darker grey to paint the borders for contrast. hopefully it looks good. a few weeks ago, our gallon full of coins got topped off. my mom would sit and individually package the coins into the sleeves banks provide whenever we wanted to exchange the coins for cash- this would take her nearly half a day. not sure why we never used coinstar before, but we finally did it. i learned that its an 11% fee if you exchange the coins for cash, but there is no fee when you exchange for a gift card. so, with one gallon full of coins, we got about $350 total- i put about half on a home depot gift card, and half on an amazon gift card. it was funny/so coincidental today that our total came out to be exactly 2 dollars less of our home depot gift card (my dad also had things to buy and we weren’t computing the costs).

events this past weekend: friend’s going away party. she received a scholarship from fullbright- which is a prestigious academic award to represent the US in international affairs. i didn’t realize how honorable it was til today and previously saw it as another “teach english abroad” opportunity. we ate at roe seafood in long beach. i thought the food was pretty bomb- i’d give it a 7/10. however, the more i ate of my scallop porcini pasta- the more water i had to drink. taste wise it was definitely there, but the cheese/carb combo was so damn heavy. i liked the group and it felt easy/natural to socialize (also because i was sitting in between my good friends b and s). in my last blog, i was venting about b, but i realize in the grand scheme of things- the little things i get annoyed by don’t matter. she continued to do the things i got ticked off by over text, but instead of getting irritated, i tried to teach myself to be loving and forgiving and think- she’s not me, i’m not her, don’t think that what i think is the “right” way of doing things is actually right. we had a nice time together that night. good vibes throughout. 

watched lion king with my mom, grandma, bro and wife. i went into the movie having low expectations due to what everyone else was saying, but i enjoyed it. the fact that we got to live through seeing the cartoon version in 1994 to seeing it full in CGI in 2019 is incredible. i love the storyline of lion king. the scene where mufasa dies always gets me. i had to hold back tears during the emotional parts of the movie lol. 

matt’s free time is decreasing and decreasing. he now has to work 6 days a week. he’s at work before i wake up, and still at work after i’m off work. on a GOOD day, he’ll only be at the hospital for about 13 hours, on a bad day, maybe 16 :(. he also has to study outside of work as they have monthly exams. saturday was his one day off during the week and it was kinda sad lol. he has one day to catch up on sleep and he’s too tired to do anything else. he tells me that he doesn’t have time to drink water at work, let alone use the restroom. his lunch consists of downing a soylent. his hospital is severely understaffed and he is doing nurses’ duties (drawing blood, patient care taking). he normally calls me right after he gets off work. i get to talk to him for about an hour or so, while he’s prepping dinner and eating. he then goes shower and gets ready to sleep and i get to see him again for a few minutes before he sleeps. i feel lucky that i’m the one he wants to talk to and see every day. i hope i brighten up his day, as he keeps saying he’s “dying” lol. when he didn’t match into a residency program, he was depressed. now that he’s in residency, it’s also depressing (but at least there is an end in sight). apparently the second and third year residents are super jaded and negative. i wouldn’t be surprised if he became like that in a year lol. on saturday, he called me right before i was going to shower. so i told him that i’ll call him back afterwards. as i got out of the shower, i saw a message from him saying - take your time, i’m gonna go shower too. so i took my time and started getting ready for the going away dinner. he called me 10-15 later and was like “you didn’t call me back!” there was something so satisfying about him being needy and clingy LOL. he’s naturally an independent cerebral person so i love it when he is needy. 

saturday night at like 1am, i got a random text from L asking me about relationship stuff. coincidentally, i couldn’t sleep cus your girl would have been dead asleep by 11 any other day. i’m happy that she felt comfortable enough to reach out to me and share her feelings. i learned that we both are perfectionistic, have unrealistically high expectations, and are quite sensitive. she cares a lot about how others/her friends perceive her relationship. she shared with me an instance where her bf came off a bit rude to her in front of her friends and she felt “very disappointed” in him. if i place myself in her shoes, i can understand why she felt hurt. and if its an reoccurring thing, then i’m sure the pain is stronger. however, being “very disappointed” in your partner for being human is stressful for both you and them because you set unrealistic standards for the relationship. she wasn’t able to let it go and gave the incident more attention than it needed. from hearing her story, i basically saw my problems in someone else. it makes me realize how silly and crazy i am sometimes in making mountains out of molehills. i used to think that it was good to have high standards for your partner, and i often felt disappointed by my last partner. i think it reflected more on myself than him- my needs weren’t being met, i wasn’t happy in the relationship, i stayed with an incompatible partner, etc. having “high” standards is only valuable if the standards are attainable and something that can be worked towards. 

i feel very happy with my current partner. being away from him for almost two months now has allowed me time to reflect on us and myself. i’m way more forgiving with the distance, and considerate about his new schedule and circumstance. in my last relationship, i started seeing the flaws around 8/9 month mark. and if i was smart and experienced enough, i would have realized those were dealbreakers (because in the end, i broke up with him for the same reasons). coming up on 9 months with matt, i feel secure and that our issues are small issues. we’re able to get along and have similar values and ideals. 

his words can sometimes come off harsh but i’ve gotten used to it and actually really appreciate him being honest and constructive with me. a week or so before he left, i was hanging out in his room. i forgot what we were talking about before but he said, “you would be much much prettier if you worked out. not that you don’t look good now, but you would look better if you worked out.” i was a little bothered by that at first, but realized he is 100% correct. i never paid attention to my body much before- but skinny fat is not a good look or feel. my bikini pics in hawaii were meh lol i was flabby, weak and out of shape. i started working out recently with dumbbells and find it so fun- more efficient work out than without any equipment. working out also helps my face maintain its shape. i realized in the past months my face started looking more bloated and fat. i’ve even received comments from two of my older friends - “you got fatter. but just in your face.” i was never mindful of how my diet and exercise routine affected how i looked. which is really dumb as a human lol. i kinda wish i was more athletic when i was younger because i’m almost just starting from scratch now. however, i am grateful that i was at least somewhat active (hiking here and there, walking, leisurely workouts) in the last few years. so, he helped me gain weight to be at a normal range (this is the heaviest i’ve been my whole life). now it’s my job to tone myself. i’ve been saying this for some time, but i’m getting more cognizant about fitness which will help the consistency. 

throughout our time together, he’s only lost his patience/raised his voice a little twice during arguments. the last time he did actually helped so much in putting me in my place. he is very smart and makes pretty good arguments sometimes haha. the last time, it made me realize that it’s better to nourish my relationship rather than bring drama into it. since then, i’ve thought twice about bringing up small issues that i can learn to let go. i love that he pushes and inspires me to be better and to be hardworking. and i’m glad i’m pretty receptive to his ideas. 

i read old conversations with my past partner today. it was super cringy. i come off as cold, inquisitive, and serious and he comes off as immature, emotional and uninterested in my thoughts. even reading through our messages now i felt the frustration i felt when i was talking to him then. i felt i was always trying to change him into the person i wanted him to become. i saw the potential but i didnt see the person he was. to me, he was gross, trashy and had many insecurities. the more separated i am from it, the more i am disgusted with myself for choosing that lol. however, i am grateful for what he taught me, which was what attracted me to him in the first place- how to be intimate emotionally and physically, how to talk about feelings, how to communicate, how to talk about more difficult subjects, how to bring up issues, how to understand what i’m feeling, etc. 

[yenasmatik]

Random Flash rant

Sorry to all those uninterested coughcough prettymucheverybody cough but I kinda need to vent this out after episode 13.

The more I watch season 3, the less I like the show. It just feels so boring. Every part I used to love about it has been removed and replaced by clichés I feel like I’ve seen dozen of times, and I simply can’t understand how ANYONE can find that interesting.

One of the main selling points of the show in season 1 was Eddie. Seeing Iris, Barry’s love interest, being with another guy and having that guy portrayed as a good person (Eddie was a much better guy than Barry will EVER be, seriously)... It was such a goddamn relief. To see a show simply not indulging in that male fantasy that if a girl you want chooses to date another guy, that guy must be an asshole and you are justified in taking any action you can to make her stop seeing the guy she chose and see you instead. But of course, the hero was always meant to Get The Girl. Can’t have a hero hero-ing without getting the pussy he wants as his due reward! I know I’m being harsh here, and I know that the comics wrote Iris as Barry’s girlfriend, but- but this trope just sickens me. The implications it has, the sense of entitlement it creates are just plain creepy.

Another big selling point were the antagonists. Eobard Thawne was an amazing villain - he was obviously smart, and the writers put a lot of effort into writing him smartly to make him a convincing puppeteer. The result was a damn good manipulator. The dramatic irony made for at least half of the entertainment of season 1. It gives it some good rewatch value.  The rogue gallery is interesting, both as individuals and as a unit. Getting to know the Snarts’ backstory gave them depth, and the Mexican standoff gave room for a relationship to develop between Barry and his villains. And all members of Snart’s group had great potential as characters, and as a starting points for many themes that would have benefited the show by giving it a deeper, more complex and more nuanced  approach to super-hero-ing.

That’s what I wanted to see more of. Developing the show’s villains. Humanizing them. Maybe even (one can always hope) tackling at least some of the moral issues related to vigilantism, justice, the treatment of prisoners, rehabilitation VS punishment, the cycle of violence and/or abuse, redemption...

Here’s what we got instead: - Joe taking away Iris’ agency “for her own good” because who doesn’t love the Daddy Knows Best trope? Who would want grown women to be treated as adults, as people who can make their own decisions and don’t owe anybody a damn explanation? - Barry helping Joe to control Iris - Barry taking away Iris’ agency as well, because who doesn’t love the good old tradition of women being handed over from their dad to their husbands like some goddamn property? - the fact that Barry and his crew held their prisoners in inhumane conditions never even being mentioned. Let alone challenged. After all, it’s not like isolation in a small cell without any visible bed or toilet is a dehumanizing treatment that happens to real people in the US, right? - Barry rewriting the future (and doing the super-heroing in general) less and less for the good of others and more and more for his own selfish desires, and nobody challenging it - People forgiving him without him really working to fix his mistakes or looking actually sorry (Cisco’s brother? and we expect him to just forgive Barry?) - Caitlin’s powers being treated as inherently evil and something that will turn her into a Bad Person if she uses them to empower herself, despite the fact that Cisco also had another him that used his powers for evil. But noooo, only the woman’s powers are inherently bad and only the woman must be prevented from gaining the capacity to do shit by herself. - and now since Julian is attracted to her, he starts acting like a controlling dickhead towards her. And of course, like with Iris, it’s portrayed as romantic and cute. Every season the writers try to write another villain in Eobard’s place, and it doesn’t work. Hunter Zolomon wasn’t too badly written per se, but he was a stereotype - evil because he was a serial killer, boo, real depth to that background guys. Also, while discovering Earth 2 gave us some fun and interesting moments, it started some tendencies that have grown really bad this season: the plots get more and more complicated, with a wider scope, which left less time to develop the characters and less time to interact with the rogue gallery. And while Zolomon was a decent bad guy, he wasn’t nearly as interesting as the rogues. He doesn’t have room for much character development and I don’t see him bringing many deeper themes to the show. As for Savitar... He feels like a video-game character. There’s practically no character at all to him. And the plot, OMG the plot. Flashpoint was brought up as this huge thing that would be the center point of the season, and instead of sticking to it and developing their idea, the writers just... rush it into a few episodes to bring Barry back, give him some manpain about how his friends resent him playing god with their lives, and promptly move on to the next big baddie. Who is as deep and interesting as cardboard.

Also, romance! Boring stereotypical heteronormative romance everywhere! Like, I know I’m biased. Heterosexual romance bores me to tears unless the relationship has something special to give it actual chemistry instead than just... the usual clichés. Especially the sexist clichés. But boy are this season’s romances boring. Also, yes, I love Hartley and I am kinda real pissed that they took away the one gay character of the show. Right after making him a good guy, too! The worst part is, I can’t stop thinking about the potential of the characters they left aside. Like, no offense meant to Tom Felton, Julian could be a decent character and all, but I don’t care about him. I want that screen-time for the rogue gallery. And I wanted Hartley as the new team member (at least as a semi-regular, damnit). I mean apparently in the comics he turned into a socialist vigilante, and damn if that wouldn’t be more interesting than anything on the show right now.

[radicalapollo]

A GBU breakdown of Kamen Rider Ex-Aid. Episodes 1-14

It has been a little while now, and we’re firmly past the first act of Kamen Rider Ex-Aid, and I thought now would be a good time to record my thoughts on the series to far. Now, I’ve been pretty harsh on it so bar, but I want it to be known that there things about the series that I really do like, so here’s how we’re gonna do it. I’m going to use the GBU method. The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. You’ll see how the ugly works once we get to it.

This is gonna be a very long post, so I’m going to put it under a cut, so check it out that way fam!

THE GOOD

I feel like Kamen Rider Ex-Aid has one of the stronger starts for a series. I felt like the first few episodes set things up pretty well, and did a pretty good service showing off our characters. I’d also have to say that I really like Emu. Some people may not agree but I think his character is really interesting, and the story behind his split personality, between himself and M, is one of the big things that keeps me invested.

The story beats so far, while a bit sloppy at times, is still extremely engaging, and I’m really looking forward to where the story is taking itself. One thing that really helps out Kamen Rider series, even ones that aren’t particularly well liked, is a solid mystery, and Ex-Aid has that going on for it in a big way in regards to the nature of Emu’s character, his connection to Zero Day, what the villains are really after, and what the bugster’s true nature is. All of those have yet to be answered and it’s leading to a cool story so far!

While not the best action in Kamen Rider history, I feel like the fight scenes have a unique enough flair to them that I still get really invested in them, and this season has some of my favorite finishing moves I’ve seen in Kamen Rider in a long while. The visual design is ALSO pretty damn cool, and leads to some really cool, dynamic shots all the way through.

The music in the show has been top notch, and while I’m not sure it would beat out Ghost’s OST, it will probably be up there, and you know I’m gonna be JAMMING to Genm’s theme when the OST comes out.

The costume designs, while all stupid and silly looking, are EXACTLY the shit I love, and I think that like... it may actually be one of my favorite sets of designs in a really long time. They’re all really cool and goofy as fuck and just so so good.

I’m also liking much of the villains so far. Graphite was a really cool, if a little generic, and Dan The Game Master Man is turning into such a hammy villain that I can’t help but love him. All their designs are really cool so far too, and that’s helping a lot. I’ll have more to say about the villains in a second though.

And lastly, Kiriya... Poor Kiriya. Kiriya Kujo, shocking as it may be, was probably the best written characters in the show, and while I am really sad that he died, a part of me was also pretty okay with it because they made me like... feel a damn emotion for this show. I was pretty mad about it, but I also just kinda... felt bad about In Universe type stuff going on with it. It made Emu sad as shit and that made ME feel sad as shit. While I certainly wish he hadn’t died, thank you for making a character that I will firmly remember for a long time as a really interesting and well built character!

Now then...

THE BAD

While I’m close to the topic of the villains, I think it’s important to bring up right now that while I really like two of the villains we’ve had so far, Parad is just... nothing. for the next two weeks we’ll be getting focused episodes on him, which I hope fixes him up to be more interesting, but as things go currently, Ex-aid has had this problem of only making characters interesting and have development in episodes that are EXCLUSIVELY about them. I don’t know what it is, but it feels like the writer at the moment doesn’t have a firm grasp on how to properly build all of these characters all at once, and it kind of feels like some, in some cases, Taiga and Hiiro are shoehorned into the plot from now and then, and Parad has had the same problem, only this time on the villain side. He comes in and says something cryptic and then BOUNCES. He feels like a nothing character at the moment, and it’s hard to see.

That being said, I also feel like Taiga and Hiiro are in an extremely poor spot of both of them being extremely one dimensional and bullheaded in ways that don’t make them endearing in the slightest. While they have been having character development, in that we are learning more about them as people, they have not had any character growth, at least not in the kind of way I would hope so. They will seem to be growing softer and learning something by the end of the episodes and in the next, we’ll CLEARLY see them fighting against Emu for what feels like petty and uninteresting reasons. The story at large feels like Ex-aid’s strong suit, but balancing individual characters seems to be it’s weakness.

Speaking of, the overall handling of women characters in this show has been... poor so far. Asuna/Poppy has been handled like a joke despite her implied traits as a bugster, and every woman who has shown up so far has either been a damsel in distress seemingly weak willed in the face of bad behavior on the part of their male counterparts in whatever arc is going on. I’m far from the first to complain about this, but it’s leaving such a sour taste in my life. So far, Saiba Nico has been a ray of shining hope and I’m really glad about that...

But I’m LESS glad that there is another person here to give Emu a hard time. I think one of my least favorite things about the show so far is the fact that it feels like EVERYONE is a dick to Emu and is giving no real reason for it and isn’t explaining their stances on everything and it just feels like... he’s in the same spot Kouta was in Gaim in that he’s being told that no matter what, being a hero is WRONG and doing anything that would make people’s lives better is a waste of everyone’s time and not worth it and it’s better to just be unfeeling and that... fucking SUCKS. That SUCKS it’s a shitty thing to have as the crux of your conflict because it doesn’t do ANYTHING for the characters saying it, namely Hiiro, because YEAH NO NO ONE IS GOING TO AGREE WITH HIM IN REAL LIFE BECAUSE HE SOUNDS LIKE AN ASSHOLE. The biggest thing you NEED for a moral conflict is someone who has reasonable views that they push too far to clash with the hero. THAT doesn’t happen in Ex-Aid, they just fucking have Hiiro be contrarian to everything Emu believes, and lets that be the center of his character, and that doesn’t make for an interesting character, especially for a man that is meant to clearly be the second rider type.

Ugh.

I think the one last thing that’s worth bringing up is that the pacing has been WACK. Everything has moved too fast and has not given the many characters in the show so far have proper time to breathe. Form after form comes out, and more and more gets stacked on, and more and more of the earlier forms become straight up obsolete that it’s giving my whiplash. I’m hoping things shape up soon, now that we don’t have a lot more forms to push like at this point I think we have like... 6 more to show off for the rest of the show, MAYBE??? We’ll have to see. But that’s all that I can really say for the bad.

Now for

THE UGLY

Kamen Rider Ex-Aid has a very weird problem going for it in that it has no way of actually like... making itself NOT exactly like the two series before it We already know, even at this point, that because of the way Kamen Rider works, that Parad, who is gonna be Kamen Rider Para-DX as of this upcoming Saturday, is going to be a good guy. Maybe not right away, but like... some time soon. That’s a problem because that means we’re going to be introduced to The Real Villains not too long from now, meaning these fuckers that have been our rouges gallary so far are small time nobodies, and it BUMS be out because things are already kinda dire, which is leading into MORE dire things, and it’s making the situation feel hopeless, whatever the actual situation is. The Current Kamen Rider Formula is making things a bit too predictable in such a way as to make it that I’m not sure how to feel about Parad going forward because like... how are they going to spin his redemption. I don’t feel like they could do one nearly as good as they did for Alain last season, and having JUST had that happen, a villain rider turning good last season, it feels like we’re retreading old ground, in such a way that it’s too close for comfort.

I hope they can make it interesting, but I have no high hopes so far.

I have HARD mixed feelings on the series so far, but I can’t say I hate it, and I can’t say I love it. I have hopes for it, and I’m hoping they can fulfill those for me.