#but I guess because I have more cohesive and coherent thoughts about this series in particular I'm less good at just nodding my head

[birdmenmanga]

some kind of moodboard

@birdmenanime @kitsoa

[powerofmettatonneo]

Happy Birthday Jason!/An Announcement + Bonus Content

After half a month of no updates on What Measure is a Non-Human, I finally have one! And, since y'all have been dedicated enough to follow my Tumblr, y'all get to be the first ones to know (all one of you currently; hi IYP! Thanks for all the support!).

I've been hard at work writing the story, but not spending as much time editing it as I would like, so I'm currently sitting on two-three chapters. This is because the mental downtime I have at my job gives me a lot of time to think of ideas that I want to immediately write down before I forget them, but the physical time I spend there takes away from the time I can spend editing it. I could hypothetically release them with less editing done on them, but I want to hold myself to a higher standard of what I release into the world and do genuinely enjoy the editing process. However, with that all being said, I have three days off in a row, and I'm going to use this chance to buckle down and try and get them ready for publication by Valentine's Day. Unfortunately, I can't promise anything, but I do have other news that I can make assurances on.

I've decided that Valentine's Day is Jason's birthday. I wanted to give most of the major characters birth months, at least, just for chronological cohesion; I chose this day in particular for Jason because I have personal history with the day that, when combined with the fact that he's the mc of a romance story, made it the perfect day for him. In celebration of his birthday, I have written out a 7k word prequel one-shot all about the confession/first kiss that I will be posting on Valentine's Day, come hell or high water.

I actually wrote a first draft of the first kiss portion all the way back in December, right after the second chapter, and as a bonus for those of you who take the time to find this post, whether now or in the future, I'm going to share it with you. Most of it will be repetitive to the last bit of the finished story, so beware of spoilers I guess (but this is a prequel anyways so like do they even matter), but I have added enough to the final product to make it stand out and above. Really, this is largely just to archive it as I think it's interesting to see how any story evolves over time, much less my own, and I hope y'all feel the same way. See y'all on Valentine's Day, and without further ado, here goes the original first kiss scene (also fair warning, there's still no smut, but it does get more explicit than I've previously allowed it to):

…Hazel reached up and kissed him. Jason entered a state of shock, freezing in place. At first, his mind went completely and totally blank, but that quickly changed into a series of scattered thoughts as his mind tried to reconfigure itself. I'm being kissed. By Hazel. Who is a Pokemon. Oh Arceus, I’m being kissed by a Pokemon—and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever felt. As soon as he returned to coherent thought, however, the kiss ended. Hazel pulled away, and Jason could see that she looked… scared. The look in her eyes was the same that he had when he confessed his feelings to her. It hit him then; the kiss was her idea of a response, and he had just frozen in place like an idiot. He could imagine the doubts and fears rushing through her at his complete lack of a reaction. He also knew exactly how to alleviate them.

Jason narrowed the gap between them and restarted the kiss. He could clearly feel the surprise in his partner and just as clearly feel it melt away as she returned it. Her lips felt velvety against his as they both pushed against each other with all their might. All of the nerves, the adrenaline, the raw energy they were feeling was channeled into the kiss. They fell back onto the bed, Hazel on top, and didn't stop for a second. It felt like they were melting together, becoming one.

Hazel broke from the kiss, and before Jason had a chance to react, she dragged her tongue across his lips. She moved it down, trailing along his chin and neck, resulting in a small moan escaping his mouth. When she arrived at his shirt, she grabbed it with her teeth and began tugging at it.

“S-stop,” Jason gasped, lightly pushing his partner back. Hazel let go of his shirt and stared at him, a look of disappointment in her eyes. It hurt him to see it, but he had read enough ‘romance’ stories to know where this was going.

“I’m sorry, but we can’t do this right now,” he said, trying to let her down gently.

“Umbre,” she whimpered, looking down at her feet. She felt ashamed at herself for pushing so hard so fast and afraid of what her best friend would think of her for it. Or, she did, until the implication of those last two words hit her. She jolted her head back back up and was met with a worried smile on Jason’s face.

“I’m not saying never,” he started, “but I don’t think I’m ready for something like that yet, and I’m pretty sure mom would just straight up kill us if she found out.” Hazel just sighed at that, but even the vague hope of “not never” sent a small shiver up her spine. She laid down on top of him, enjoying his warmth. They sat there in a comfortable silence for a while, simply enjoying each other’s touch in the wake of the roller coaster of emotions they had both just experienced, and soon drifted off to sleep, not caring what tomorrow might bring so long as they had each other.

[Also, one final super extra bonus note: my beta only left one comment on this original draft when I showed it to her, and it was too funny not to mention: on the line "Her lips felt velvety against his", she simply wrote "I refuse to consider the mechanics of this", to which I simply responded "coward".]

[scary-senpai]

Would love to hear more about you & me & a high balcony!

Gahh! Thank you so much for the ask. (Original link is here, if anyone wants to join or reblog.)

So, “you & me & a high balcony” is one of the fics I drafted when I was teaching myself to write again. So it's awkward and striving (mostly in the right direction), and still pretty rough--I started writing it in 2020, I haven't really touched it since 2021, and I have learned a whole lot since then. At the same time, it is a fic that is near to my heart and I'm grateful for the opportunity to talk about it! <3

“you & me & a high balcony” is about Genos taking Garou home for the first time--why? tbd! I wrote probably about 100k words of various interconnected fics without fully committing to the unifying concept or plot and I will never, ever do that again. Probably.

Anyway, Genos takes Garou home and neglects to fully inform Saitama. You are getting my draft in its fully unedited glory.

Saitama’s cactus is on the balcony and it is a very, very painful experience for him. In keeping with running canon gags, Saitama is absolutely powerless against this ickle, stationary cactus and he finds himself in an ongoing fight with it, almost immediately. He also gets totally entangled in Genos' camping gear, but put a pin in that, we'll come back to it.

What follows is a series of interspersed scenes between Genos and Garou inside the apartment, Saitama making strange noises outside, Genos fabricating excuses and lying (poorly), and Genos occasionally stepping out on the balcony pretending to be Genos (because, again, Saitama is wrapped up like a sad sandwich in an unpitched camping tent.) In retrospect, it's very clear how much I miss writing for stage, because it feels a bit like an homage to Noises Off (but, you know, prose).

In the spirit of adventure, I am sending an unedited screenshot. With comments boxes! I haven't re-read it in years because I'm too nervous, but you can!

“CW” doesn’t necessarily stand for content warning but I guess it certainly could? CW is an abbreviation of my name so it’s how I highlight “shit I need to go back and figure out.” Being older and wiser, most of my drafts are now just bullet points for me to come back to later, when I have a coherent, unifying thought for the story/fic/series. It has saved me a lot of screaming and tears.

Anyway, Saitama keeps moving the cactus into the apartment. Garou keeps moving it back. Genos has no idea what the fuck is happening, but it’s the least of his problems. Eventually it leads to Saitama and Garou having a heart-to-heart (and agreeing not to tell Genos they met) and, idk, man, I love writing Genos x Garou a lot, but (Platonic) Garou + Saitama scenes are my absolute favorite. I just give them my ideal relationship, which is All of the Hijinks and None of the Sex with someone who finishes your sentences, but all the sentences are puns.

I started drafting the story in 2020, and anything I wrote in 2020 chronicles my descent into madness— inadvertently & indirectly. Suffice to say, quarantine was hitting me very hard and a lot of my behavior was centered around making myself laugh. My serotonin starved brain had a tendency to overload scenes with jokes. Even if they didn’t fit, even if they threw off the pacing. But stories and scenes need to have cohesive plots and it’s silly, to the point of being out of character. Sometimes that's part of the process, though. There's always a lot of love in the first draft of a story, I think, because it's a leap of faith.

I had written a litany of things that embarrassed me about this draft, I deleted it. So I'll share one of the things that I am proud of coming up with--I don't play a lot of video games. I needed a fighting game for King and Saitama to play during a stint of dialogue (the outcome of which involves King lending Saitama Hatoful Boyfriend so that Genos can practice dating (and also he does not trust Saitama with any of his beloved Doki Doki sims). So I thought of the one game I played a lot as a kid (Super Smash Bros) and combined it with something I do know really well (literature) and came up, um, this:

The Body Electric is near to my heart because it was a major part of my writing journey. It was also a major part of my writing journey where I learned a lot, mostly by making mistakes. Granted, it remains largely unpublished so I failed in gracefully private but it is really important to me to finish it one day.

Thank you so much for the ask!

[illwynd]

Hey, uh, in one of your posts some time back you mentioned that the Loki fandom has this collectively-agreed upon version of Loki that isn’t really found in canon—I’m not really “in” the fandom, but I’m interested in that phenomenon as a widespread, mutually agreed-upon non-canon characterization. Care to go into more detail about who “fanon Loki” is, to satisfy my scientific curiosity?

oh lol sorry i was not clear and didn't use a sarcasm tag. I was very definitely being sarcastic.

Some other fans (a few of those who like and approve of the Loki series' depiction of the character) have been claiming that the "fanfic" version was just a headcanon invented whole cloth by fans and that those of us who think the Loki in the show is OOC are basically delusional and are mad that our headcanon version isn't in the show.

In response, i was implying that that version was indeed found in canon, and was in fact a very vivid and lasting portrayal, because otherwise there would be no reason for so many fans (who don't tend to agree on much) to have collectively "invented" such a strikingly similar headcanon version that was consistent, cohesive, and coherent in thousands of fics written from 2011 to 2016 (and thereafter, by those of us who have been here the whole time and are still sticking to the earlier version).

I mean, just on probability alone, what's more likely---that so many fans (who, again, don't tend to agree on anything!) collectively imagined the exact same headcanon that was never depicted in canon?* Or that some fans of the current show feel a need to defend their preferred version at others' expense by claiming that the character has always been like this and never changed at all and anyone who thinks otherwise is just crazy?

(It's also funny when they claim, in the same breath, that the only people complaining are the hardcore Loki fans and that the show is aimed at a wider audience so of course it's not for us and we shouldn't be mad that they made Loki "actually fun now." Which is an idea that would seem to suggest that, uh, maybe the version in the show, uh, is different? Like to appeal to a wider audience? So which is it, guys?)

*And I'm not talking about the like, oh, "Thor loves poptarts" sort of thing, which absolutely does happen in fandoms. But rather a whole coherent psychological picture of the character, and one that we can easily point to examples and details from the earlier movies to support. The issue, I guess, is that due to the sort of character Loki is, the canon support is not what's stated blatantly by the POV characters (who, given that Loki was an antagonist, have limited insight into his motivations) but rather comes from what we are shown of Loki's behavior and actions and what a thoughtful viewer with a reasonable level of media literacy can infer from those.

Basically, earlier fandom was picking up what was absolutely there in the canon depiction of the earlier movies. Those movies just used more subtlety and nuance in their depiction of the character, and (some) fans of the current show who did not notice those levels are suggesting that means it didn't exist.

[kuboism]

Bleach Canon Vs. Studio Clown Episode 1

Intro to the series

WARNING: Long read but theres plenty of pictures

The first deviation we’re greeted with is what the anime presents as the arrival of hollows into the human world. With a likely artistic rendition of them forming from the shadows of Hueco Mundo and dripping/bleeding over into the human world like splotches of ink, after which they disappear - unable to be perceived by humans.

A/N: Which, kubos to the anime, is rather neat.

The anime also decided to incorporate the first volume poem which is the thematic beginning and a great establisher of the mood/themes of Bleach, which roughly translates to: 

我らは 姿無きが故に それを畏れ

“We fear that which cannot be seen”

And then they curiously add a line to this poem? 

姿無き故に敬う

”We revere that which cannot be seen"

A/N: Which, initially seems on brand with the spiritualism of that “which is not seen” - the shinigami, DEATH itself if you will. However, unlike the themes of “fear” and “fear of death/the unseen”, “reverence” is not really a theme prevalent or definitive for bleach. Reverence is not particularly reserved for death or death gods, but antagonists with themes of divinity/the Soul King himself, but I digress.

Next off the bully scene has a couple of missing/reworded lines, as well as some of the delivery changed, but overall it’s not significant enough to mention.

I also wish they’d kept Ichigo’s shit yourself scary face from this moment right here, since it really underlines how serious and personally invested Ichigo is in bringing small justice to the souls of the departed, but I can only pray a future remake does include it.

^ I am disappointed in y’all :/

vs.

v Karma delivery, bitch

Then for some reason the next scene is changed significantly:

In the manga, it builds up slowly to Ichigo’s reveal of supernatural abilities with the iconic TM character profile intros (which I can see why weren’t recreated in the anime, but I sure wish they put them in....)

with him spooking the bullies off with the ghost girl right behind him

Versus his scary face doing the job instead.....

It’s a small change, and I can see why it would be opted for - we don’t really know if they even saw the ghost in the first place (then again you could argue that would spook them anyway). There is a tonal difference in the long run though. The manga emphasizes once again *why* ichigo is scolding them in the first place - he sees the people disrespected by them knocking down the vase, he wants them to acknowledge their actions *because* in his mind, there are real victims he knows from it. While in the anime, since the ghost is not yet introduced, it feels more like “you are disrespectful to the dead” in a more generalized way vs. him actually being acquainted with the dead and treating them like the living. 

(Again, not sure why change it so much at all........the suspense and reveal are in the manga just the same.... but ok)

As well as cutting off this small moment where you can see Ichigo’s very human (and cute!) interactions with the ghosts. To him they’re just as real as the living, and he lends them a hand whenever they ask for help.

Also lmfao this 4kids level of censorship.....

It goes on rather faithfully for a while, no significant omissions, then Pierrot decides to randomly replace Yuzu’s lines with Karin??

Manga:

Anime: 

Which is an odd choice, given that not only does Yuzu sense ghosts just fine (albeit at a much lesser level than her family) and that later comes into play with Fishbone & Grandfisher, but Karin literally later admits that she doesn’t even want to acknowledge their presence, so why the change....?

They also cut short Karin’s little talk about Ichigo’s stats, which is a fair change for screentime’s sake, but mentioned for the record.

There’s a bit of a divergence with Yuzu lore, when the manga explicitly states she sees them, but not “clearly”, the anime focuses on her barely sensing them. I guess it doesn’t matter that much in the long run, since she is not that prevalent in the story, but it’s here for the record nonetheless.

Anime: 

vs. 

Manga:A

Also this next bit was removed, probably for the sake of pacing (which, totally fair!!), but it’s funny and I love the Kurosaki family so here it is:

It does make the flow a bit better in the manga, since this talk of selling his talents distracts Ichigo and creates an opening for his father to strike, in the anime, the same is done with Ichigo just randomly saying 

and thats where his father attacks him, which isnt really an issue, just kind of funny of how the manga is like:

Ichigo’s distracted by his sisters plotting to sell him out and hence Isshin has his chance to strike back

vs the anime being like:

Ichigo randomly thinks about dinner mid convo about ghosts and thats what distracts him from play-fighting with his dad 

gfdkhlgfdg okayyyy....moving on 

In the manga this scene is interspliced with Ichigo’s inner monologue about the nature of his powers (with hip jargon like “for real” courtesy of Viz ) 

(but my beef with Viz translations are for another day)

Also the line about “He told me more ghosts than ever have been haunting me” has been given to Karin for some reason, probably to make her feel more included in the scene/Ichigos life.

Notably, Isshin’s response is changed from “What?! He talks about stuff like that with you (Yuzu, singular)” to “What?! He talks about stuff like that with you guys?” as well, again probably to include Karin more into the dialogue. (Mmmm ok....)

Minor detail, but Karin’s lines has been changed to more “boyish” speech structure in the Japanese dub, which may seem insignificant, but ...... that is for later. 

.....

This little exchange

 is replaced with: 

Which, seems innocuous adaptation differences, but Yuzu’s lines keep decreasing and it’s a short enough moment to like....include and establish how motherly Yuzu is acting towards Ichigo.....but ok...huh. 

And now we get into the big boy changes.

So, probably for the sake of grounding the supernatural element of the series, the anime decided to skip time to the next morning and introduce the hollow attacks with a news report.

Which.....is an interesting choice. I am assuming this is addressing how the real world perceives the hollow attacks, which Bleach doesn’t put too much effort into addressing, but very soon after this we learn about stuff like memory replacement and other various technology to keep things under wraps so this is either redundant or implying that shinigamis have not been doing their job, which hm......

Next off is the bizarre choice to paint Isshin out of the picture for the night

Not sure why, but ok

Again, where’s the shinigami with their Kikanshinki (memory replacement devices)??? Pierrot where’s the lore coherence......

Anyway, Ichigo goes to replace the girl’s vase, but suprise-surprise she’s gone-zo. Wonder what happened to her.....

(And....again, people vehemently don’t want a reboot when the anime looks like this? )

So Ichigo hears a scream and a hollow scream and follows the sound (Ok?).

Totally random hollows attack. Which Ichigo somehow has never seen so far? Mind you, this isn’t like in the manga, where Fishbone was sent by Aizen specifically after Ichigo to make him aware of it. These are random-ass hollows attacking people, so how come Ichigo suddenly sees them. Ya coulda played it safe Pierrot, and stuck to the book, but we got plot inconsistencies episode one so let’s party.

The girl is, of course, not eaten and they run away.

She trips at the most inconvenient moment. (can ghosts trip? Ghost don’t even have legs in japanese lore and Kubo draws them floating around so okkkkkkkk)

(ok ok, im just being petty, bUT YKNOW)

(convenient tripping on deadass levelled ground is convenient)

(also God I really want that bag Ichigo’s got on his shoulder, it looks so nice)

Random-ass hollow closes in and 

BOOM

Rukia

(Now, if the rest of Bleach and the manga didn’t exist I would like this moment. We get a glimpse into Rukia’s abilities, into shinigami as a concept and we don’t really get to see her slice and dice hollows that much overall so the moment itself is rad in isolation.

Now, unfortunately for Pierrot’s screenwriters, Bleach manga exists and so does it’s lore, which again, would not be inconsistent with each other if the adapation was faithful. Now, Ichigo sees a shinigami, for some reason, for the first time in his 15 years of life. All of a sudden. 

You could argue, that much like in the manga, this is all part of Aizen’s plan TM, but like, she literally leaves right after leaving Ichigo gaping in awe ghfkjgdf. Why’d Aizen give him an appetizer, I really don’t understand how this change is benefitting the narrative in any way. It’s ....dare I say....generic.)

Rukia yeets the hollow

(why is this kid suddenly not wearing shoes?)

and goes off on her merry way, leaving Ichigo shooketh

ALSO RUKIA MA’AM THERES A FUCKING STRAY GHOST RIGHT AT YOUR RIGHT????? ISNT IT YOUR LIKE....JOB.......... TO HELP GHOSTS MOVE ON??? i know killing hollows is the fun part, but like ghjkfdlgfd ??? are you gonna ignore her???

( his fucking face ghfjdkgdlfgfd)

So after this wholeass pointless detour (you’ll see why it’s pointless in a moment)  we timeskip again (the filler is strong in this one. These 6 minutes were worth not coming up with something cohesive and removing scenes that actually make sense ah yes)

Ichigo is in deep thought TM about who tf is the stranger he’d just seen. Likely mulling over the monsters and how this person was able to slay said monsters. Probably thinking how unusual they are.

and as if on cue

the stranger makes their presence once more

(my God these faces gfhgkldfg)

....

Now let’s briefly address what happens in the manga instead.

Instead of the whole timeskip scene with the fight, Ichigo simply returns to his room on the same day, and oddly enough recognizes the species of the butterfly he sees? (nerdy boi! nerdy!! boi!)

rukia arrives much the same

(With the little text emphasizing how he’d never been aware of soul reapers, which is unsurprising given their secrecy, and makes sense in the long run since their first meeting is specifically orchestrated by Aizen. Two species that werent meant to interact brought together by his schemes.)

Back to the anime:

Ichigo pauses to ponder who tf they are and why the fuck they’re there.

and then the anime has the gall to suddenly revert to sticking to the manga, which like.... Ichigo kicks her for no reason? I guess because she isn’t answering? Even though Ichigo knows she has a sword and can wield it? Reckless boy.

Manga Ichigo thinks she’s a burglar, therefore, unsurprisingly, is comfortable kicking her outta his house. It’s a silly moment, but it also shows how accustomed or stupidly brave he is with the supernatural.

In the anime Ichigo asks her who she is instead of all that, and she responds pretty similarly to the manga

AND THE NEXT SCENE IS WHERE IT CLICKS WHY THEY WENT OUT OF THEIR WAY TO REMOVE ISSHIN FROM THE HOUSE.

(Ichigo and Rukia addressing the pointless filler, this leads nowhere)

Rukia check him out like she’s checking if the oranges on sale dont have mold on them 

slapstick ensues

and Rukia decides to answer his question.

Vs. the manga in which Isshin doesn’t leave his children home alone for some random conference and is actually used very efficient for two reasons:

1) building up on the burglar gag with actually funny slapstick that is based on a previously established joke

2) Instead of Rukia just saying “oh usually people can’t see me”, we get an actual demonstration of it, the reader gets to see “oh Isshin can’t see her - she must be a spiritual entity,” which further clicks with her surprised reaction at him being able to kick her in the first place.

The next scene is the classique Pierrot censorship.

Ghost girl runs away from what I’m assuming is Fishbone.

Aside from not showing her get eaten, the scene is pretty much delivering the same message, 

bUT

BECAUSE OF THE STUPID ASS FILLER WITH THEM MEETING RUKIA BEFORE THIS, I CAN ACCUSE RUKIA OF NEGLIGENCE.

UNLIKE THE MANGA, where Rukia arrives the night before and is specifically seeking Fishbone, therefore having no time to help this girl pass away, 

This vvvvvvv

could have been prevented if SOMEONE DID THEIR FUCKING JOB THE DAY BEFORE VVVVVVV

(I rest my case. Thank you Pierrot for making Rukia either negligent or an idiot. Awesome, And mind you, these changes were unnecessary. The manga’s pacing is fine. They could’ve extended scenes. But nope, had to go for making them meet beforehand.)

Anyway, we get to see some actual stakes in the manga

The next scene which is this in the manga 

has two changes to it. Firstly, obviously Isshin being consoled by Yuzu isn’t included since he isn’t home in the anime, and even if he were, I can see why that would be removed, cute as it may be.

And secondly, due to them having met prior Ichigo asks two additional questions:

And Rukia nods at both, which means she acknowledges that she had seen the girl the hollow was after and yet did nothing to help her pass on. 

(Reminder the Bleach anime was in production WAAAAY past the first 4 volumes, which gave a good general idea of the series, which y’know, was fine to adapt as is.

You’ll see these changes add up into becoming inconsistent with further Bleach lore. There’s a reason people call Bleach a hot mess, and I’m afraid Kubo ain’t really it.)

(Volume 14 Note from Kubo where he talks about the anime being announced)

Back to the series

Pet peeve time: Wish the anime was half as expressive as the manga

These scenes are supposed to represent

This panel:

(Nitpicking? Perhaps, but idc)

So uh, this scene is odd

Again, because of the addition of that filler with the hollow

Ichigo has seen her in action

And they even added Rukia trying to convince him 

even though, yknow???

LITerally the previous day???

Anyway  in the manga, where Ichigo has reason to be distrustful of her and her claims since y’know hes never seen her or a shinigami in action, but has enough proof that she’s a ghost bc his dad didn’t see her, he simply dismisses her before she can reply, and instead of just getting angry for being called a pipsqueak

she shows both Ichigo and the audience proof of her spiritual powers by binding Ichigo and forcing him to quietly listen to her explanations.

(To reiterate - Anime Rukia  has to verbally try to convince Ichigo WHO SAW HER FIGHT A HOLLOW THE OTHER DAY that shes no ordinary ghost. And because of that, she has no other reason to use Sai on him other than that shes mad she was called a pipsqueak bc she just tried to verbally convince him shei is a shinigami. When they could just adapt the manga and have her both demonstrate her powers and put him in his place at the same time. Wild.)

Also CRIMINALLY BORING SHOT, WITH CRIMINALLY BORING RUKIA

#NotMyRukia

LOOK AT THE MANGA

LOOK AT HER SMUGLY OWNING ICHIGO’S IGNORANT ASS #FuckYeahRukia

Also the subs may not show it if you’re watching it on Netflix, but anime Rukia says “I am not allowed to lay my hands on humans outside orders,” which like, you ARE LITERALLY DOING THAT. Manga Rukia is fine with bullying Ichigo, but she draws a line at killing him, but man Anime Rukia, you give no fucks about the laws huh.

why so cheerful?

(also Rukia be right tho)

(specifcally compared to hell you could say Soul society is a resftul place lmfao)

Also anime salary man gets to rest in peace, even like, pray and shit

Meanwhile the manga

YEET TO SOUL SOCIETY

(also notice how we’ve been robbed of ichigo’s silly socks

I swear the anime knows how to suck the soul out of the manga 

Get it? Soul! haha ....moving on.)

Really Rukia? One of your jobs?

GUESS YOU WERE OFF DUTY HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I’M SORRY BUT LIKE, SEE HOW POINTLESS THIS FILLER IS UGH!!!)

(Again pet peeve but look at how ugly this screen is COMPARED TO THE MANGA)

(What have they done to you, queen)

(also they never mention the name Konso ( or as Viz calls it here -”soul funeral”, thanks Viz)

Next on, not a pet peeve, but an observation:

Anime Rukia keeps her sketchbook in her kimono

Manga Rukia keeps it at the titty

Yep, which you neglected to do the day before,

she literally says “With the konso I did just a  moment ago” like she used the word before. Like you can contextually get it, but why cut that line out of the dialogue if you don’t change the next line it’s referenced in?

There’s also a dialogue change from the manga’s well, Viz uses “vaporize” which is not a bad choice given the specific wording Kubo uses, but the original says 

昇華 • 滅却

sublimate/convert • extinguish

which is a clever little nod/foreshadowing to the nature of souls in bleach and that they can be “converted” in and out of a hollowfied state. 

While the anime just says “to slay hollows”, and albeit it lacks the little nod the manga has to offer, I can’t see how they’d include it in the anime at that stage so I’m fine with them simplifying it to like, an exorcism.

A better question then Rukia - WHY DIDN’T YOU SEND OFF HER SOUL????

also WAIT THE GIRL IS STILL ALIVE?? she’s dead-dead by this point in the manga.

BULLSHIT !!!  YOU LITERALLY EXPLAIN LATER WHY!! ACTUALLY YOU EXPLAINED EARLIER WHY!!! YOU LITERALLY SAID THIS, 1 MINUTE AGO :

Anyway, Fishbone almost grants her the priviledge of escaping this God-awful anime, but is suddenly stopped?

AND CAN TALK??

wait WHY DOES FISHBONE TALK?? GHFJD isnt this supposed to be  a juicy reveal for later when Ichigo realizes “hey theyre not actual complete monsters - but used to be humans!” Hm, ok.

Also leaves her alone? Damn ok...

Reminder:

Moooving on...

Speaking of the manga, this little moment is missing:

Since there is no pointless filler that would make him ask about the ghost girl therefore exposing Rukia’s slacking off of her duty, Ichigo realizes that there must be a hollow nearby bc in the manga he actually has braincells to spare. 

Also wiping off the Baron’s moustache moment is gone 😢

Missing and dearly missed is also this moment, which consolidates how protective Ichigo is of his family. He only needs to hear Yuzu scream to click that the hollow is nearby and his family is in danger. I feel like anime Ichigo should be even more worried since his sisters are alone but ok??

Also foreshadows their dynamic of Rukia trying to stop his reckless attempts at pushing himself to protect his family, bc yknow....she has her own Kaien trauma to process.

Next off....

This is .... a choice....

They were very eager to give Yuzu’s lines to Karin just a couple of moments ago but now this whole exchange:

Where we see a very pragmatic yet soft side of Karin

She doesn’t know what is happening, and doesn’t expect her brother to fight it - he just wants him to be safe, because she loves her family. At least warn him before it gets to him and hurts him.

is replaced with this:

Yuzu, sweetie, what do you think he can do to achieve that.

I guess at least Anime Ichigo tries to get Rukia to do her job as she looks down on Yuzu in silence. 

But compare it to the manga:

#MyRukia stops by Karin to check for a pulse and reassures Ichigo that his sister is alive.

Manga Ichigo is NUMBER ONE oniichan in town and doesnt have time to call out to a stranger to save his family - HES BEYOND READY TO GO FIGHT, RECKLESS AS IT IS, EVEN THOUGH HIS OWN FAMILY BEGS HIM TO JUST RUN. because he cant let himself be unable to protect them. He cant live with himself if he doesnt try his darnest to protect them.

*elevator music playing as ichigo tries to get rukia’s attention but she fucks off downstairs, but instead of doing shit he just does the worm on the floor*

which I guess is more realistic for a teenage boy, but Ichigo is literally traumatized by being unable to protect a family member. Y’all think a ghost he’s never seen before is gonna stop him? 

Yooo, pathetic. #NotMyIchigo

[woozapooza]

Hey wait a minute! I just realized something!

Ishmael in chapter 1, “Loomings”: “I cannot tell why it was exactly that those stage managers, the Fates, put me down for this shabby part of a whaling voyage [...] cajoling me into the delusion that it was a choice resulting from my own unbiased freewill and discriminating judgment.” 

Ahab in chapter 132, “The Symphony”: “By heaven, man, we are turned round and round in this world, like yonder windlass, and Fate is the handspike.”

I’ve thought a ton about fate in Moby Dick, and it’s something I reaaaally want to say more about in the future, but for now I just have to draw attention to this little parallel that just occurred to me. Both of our two main guys proclaim that their lives are not their own, that their actions were engineered by Fate(s). Oddly, I think that for both of them, this rejection of their own agency is actually a way of taking back a smidgen of control, or rather of the illusion of control. For Ishmael, it’s preferable to believe that he was destined, for some unknown but undoubtedly important purpose, to experience the most traumatic thing he’s presumably ever experienced than to believe that both his involvement with the Pequod and his survival came down to simple, meaningless luck. For Ahab, it’s preferable to believe that "the path to [his] fixed purpose is laid with iron rails, whereon [his] soul is grooved to run” (as he says—or as Ishmael imagines he says, if you prefer to think about it that way—in chapter 37, “Sunset”) than to acknowledge that his reckless, pointless quest for vengeance is a choice. And in fact, that choice is, in turn, a way of regaining a sense of control in the aftermath of his experience of awful vulnerability in the face of the whale. Both of these guys come face to face with the "vague, nameless horror” (chapter 42, “The Whiteness of the Whale”) the whale seems to them to represent and seek refuge in the idea that their actions in this horrifying, chaotic world aren’t their own. In reality, this is nonsense. They, like everyone, choose their own actions. And the whale doesn’t really symbolize anything, but that’s a story for another post.

The major difference between the two quotes above is that Ishmael is looking back and imposing coherence on events that didn’t really mean anything—he’s narrativizing, to use a handy literary word I learned in the class I had to take my junior year of college as a requirement for majoring in English, in which I had to read some literature I really did not enjoy such as Ulysses and some theory/criticism that went totally over my head but “narrativity” is one of the few concepts we discussed that made sense to me. Ahab, on the other hand, is looking ahead, justifying the path he’s currently on—a path from which Starbuck, catching him at an opportune moment, very nearly swayed him. Honestly, I think the very fact that a combination of his own regrets and Starbuck’s influence came so close to getting Ahab to see sense is what accounts for Ahab’s sudden, dramatic reversion to his “iron rails” philosophy. At that point, there’s a huge element of sunk cost fallacy going on. It’s not just the three or so years he’s spent obsessing over Mr. Dick weighing on him, it’s the forty years he’s spent in the whaling industry. Forty miserable years, and he’s worse off now than when he started. Ahab feels powerless—I mean, he’s a captain, but that’s power over other people, not power over his own life—and chasing the whale allows him to fight that feeling. But if he were to acknowledge that he chooses to chase the whale, then he’d have to acknowledge that it’s just a mechanism for coping with his lack of power. So in order not to feel powerless, he has to pretend that he is powerless. Wow, this guy is messed up. AU where Ahab has a support system and maybe a therapist. Anyway, Ishmael’s case is different because he really did not have as much control over what happened to him and his crewmates as Ahab did. He was just a random guy on the crew. So Ahab invokes Fate to dodge accountability for the few things in his life he can control, whereas Ishmael invokes the Fates to convince himself that there was some reason underlying a series of events that would otherwise be both tragic and meaningless. But it is, fundamentally, the same strategy for coping with existence.

Oh hey, there’s another interesting thing: Ishmael conceives of himself as a minor but ultimately essential player in a cohesive story, whereas Ahab doesn’t suggest that there’s any grand purpose to the path he’s on (at least not as far as I remember, but I could be forgetting something). That’s sort of counterintuitive, because Ishmael is so content to fade into the background, whereas Ahab is generally—there’s really no nice way of saying this, but I promise I’m saying it with a heavy dose of empathy—obsessed with his own issues. But then, I guess Ishmael perceives the Fates acting on him from the outside, moving him around like a chess piece by presenting “springs and motives” to him, whereas Ahab sees his own soul as having been shaped by fate. The latter is definitely more self-centered than the former. Again, that sounds harsh, but I swear I’m not saying Ahab thinks too highly of himself or whatever. On the contrary, I think Ishmael seems to have a much healthier sense of self-esteem than Ahab does. Sad face.

Ishmael and Ahab are so very different, which is what makes it so interesting to note the things they have in common. But then, once you’ve noted a commonality, the really interesting part is looking a little deeper and noticing where the commonality breaks down...and then the really REALLY interesting part is noticing where it doesn’t break down even upon close inspection.

Side note, I think it’s very on-brand that Ishmael uses a theatrical metaphor for Fate and Ahab uses a nautical one.

[flightfoot]

What's your favorite Rick Riordan series between Percy Jackson, The Kane Chronicles, Heroes of Olympus, Magnus Chase and Trials of Apollo? (or like, if you can't choose, what do you like about the series you've read?)

Trials of Apollo, no contest. 

I liked Percy Jackson a lot, it was VERY well done. Percy was hilarious and relatable, but also just super awesome, his dynamic with Annabeth was fun to read, along with his dynamic with Grover, the quests had a lot of entertaining encounters, and it had some well-executed themes that tied in with the overall conflict nicely, mostly about how parents’ and adults’ negligence and even abuse can harm their kids, the overall effects of that, and just... generally trying to get the parents to shape up, as well as the effects of not respecting others in general, like with how the minor gods and by extension, their children, are treated by the Olympians. It comes up with Percy’s relationships with both Gabe and Poseidon, and most of the campers’ relationships with their godly parents, and that’s a MAJOR cause behind the entire conflict, and one of the major things that Percy tries to make better at the end of the last book.

Kane Chronicles... it’s been awhile since I read it. I don’t remember it having as prevalent a theme as Percy Jackson did, though there was definitely social commentary on racism, with how Carter was sometimes treated, and with how people had trouble comprehending that Carter and Sadie were full siblings, since while both are mixed, Carter’s pretty dark-skinned, while Sadie looks White. It was more of a background thing though, not a major plot point. I liked the characters and the plot fine, they were entertaining, and it was good overall - but it’s not a series I’ve felt a pressing need to reread either. Only real complaint I have about it is the romances centering around Sadie. Her and Anubis were kinda cute, but it would’ve been a lot cuter if she was older than 12-13, and he wasn’t a 4000-year-old god who looked, acted, and was treated as a 16-year-old. And then the whole thing with making it a love triangle with Walt who’s ALSO 16 and Rick’s method of “solving” the love triangle... look honestly I just would’ve been a lot more ok with the romantic shenanigans there if Sadie wasn’t a middle-schooler throughout it. Overall still good though, I’d be down for an adaptation of it, but it’s one of the few cases where I hope something IS flat-out changed to make the romances more palatable.

Heroes of Olympus is where I originally fell off of the Riordanverse. There was just so long between books and I could barely remember what happened between them, and with most of the books being like parts of the same quest (especially books 3, 4, and 5), unless you were constantly refreshing your memory of them via fandom, they were hard to follow, especially with several main characters and different character dynamics to keep track of. When I went back and read the whole set of them though, getting back into the series, it was WAY better, since I could read them as a coherent whole. I could tell he was struggling to juggle all the characters, but I thought he did a fairly decent job of it for what it was. I ended up liking all the characters - ESPECIALLY Leo, I thought he was great and relatable and funny, but I also wanted to hug him - and while the quest could drag on a bit at times, there were some interesting parts there. And Percy and Annabeth’s journey through Tartarus was GREAT. 

The themes for Heroes Of Olympus overall were pretty much the same as with Percy Jackson, but with less emphasis I think. It was mostly just “the gods (mostly Zeus, really) are being crappy again, but this time we have enough support among ourselves to manage, except for when a god is technically required to defeat a Giant”. A lot more emphasis was placed on individual character arcs and circumstances, which I think was a good choice, since with so many main characters, they needed more concentrated character development in order to put them up to par with Percy and Annabeth. Plus it allowed Rick to still go into some different themes a bit, like racism with Hazel, trauma with Leo, insecurity with Frank, etc, in a way that felt natural and relevant. It helped that they were broken up into different books for their introductions, so not everything was dumped in at once.

The ending of Heroes of Olmypus... yeah the final battle with the GIants was lame as all hell, and honestly the quest ended up feeling a bit like busywork, but screw it, I did LOVE one part of the ending. The imagery of big, bad Gaia, who even Zeus is so scared of he just wants to hide away with his head in the ground, physically manifesting and being about to take everyone out, everyone losing hope... and then screaming as Festus appears and snatches her up into the sky as Leo gives a shit-eating grin and hurls fireballs at her while insulting her the whole time is just GREAT. I always giggle, and I honestly found it a lot more memorable than the Kronos fight, even if it was technically less epic. It seemed fitting for her to be taken out in such an embarrassing way, by the boy she’d personally taken the most from.

Magnus Chase... yeah that’s the only one I didn’t finish. Quick note: its been over a year since I tried it, so I’m operating off of memory here. I wanted to like it, and after reading through Heroes of Olympus (which i originally stopped reading after Mark of Athena) and Trials of Apollo, I was all hyped up for more Riordanverse... and was disappointed. The basic elements were there, and the writing itself wasn’t bad, but... well, I never really got attached to most of the characters this time, I didn’t find the quest very interesting, and... well, you see how I mentioned about the themes in the earlier reviews? I thought Rick bit off more than he could chew with Magnus Chase, at least with the first book. (I slogged through the first book, got a hundred pages into the second book to see whether Alex, who I’d heard a lot of hype about, could save it, thought Alex was only ok but not someone who saved the book, and called it quits). 

So in Magnus Chase, Rick went DEEP into the social commentary on a lot of disparate subjects, trying to really tackle homelessness, child abuse (because no duh, that’s pretty much a staple, I think the only of his series that DOESN’T have major themes around that is Kane Chronicles), Islamophobia, ableism, and... I’m having trouble thinking of the exact term for it, but Blitzen was heavily looked down upon and derided for wanting to make fashionable armor and just being into fashion in general, so... I think it’s supposed to commentary on making fun of people for having interests that are generally seen as feminine? I guess? I dunno, it was definitely social commentary on SOMETHING, but I think the dwarves having their own particular culture here hurt whatever Rick was trying to say, since social commentary is very much tied to the culture it’s in, and we only have a small taste of dwarven culture, at least in the first book. 

In any case, all these things are fine to do social commentary on, but when you’re trying to go in-depth and really address them, it helps if they’re more tied in with the overall conflict in the book, and if each issue has room to breathe. As it was, it kinda felt to me like the characters were being paraded from location to location to confront some different social issue. I just thought it was too much, too crammed into one book, and the overall conflict had pretty much nothing to do with that. Like, at the end of the book Rick tried to tie it together with some sort of “we’re a band of misfits” message, and... well, a message based on NOT fitting in with society, isn’t one that’s very satisfying or cohesive. And the individual issues, while there’s certainly cross-sectionality between, aren’t intrinsically linked, so... they just don’t mesh together very well. Not so many, all mashed into one book. Plus I just didn’t care for any of the gods, and the only characters I liked were Magnus and Sam. Blitz and Hearthstone... they were just sort of “there” for me.

I can see why people like Magnus Chase, and it’s not BAD by any means, but it just wasn’t for me. Maybe I’ll take another crack at it at some point, but I’m not super optimistic about it. As it was, I just ended up looking up the parts where Magnus met with Annabeth and read those.

Trials of Apollo though, I ADORE. Apollo was hilarious (along with the books in general), it had a pretty focused message about child abuse and abuse in general, along with how a privileged position can blind you from the travesties that are going on around you, or that you yourself cause, and I just thought the themes worked very well. Rick went more in-depth this time on the exact consequences of child abuse and the ways that a parent could abuse and manipulate their child, something that wasn’t covered as much in his earlier series, as those were more based around neglect. I’m a sucker for a good redemption arc, and I was really impressed with how it was kinda slipped in with Apollo. Like, he didn’t even know he NEEDED one, and the good guys weren’t especially pressing him on that point, it’s a realization he slowly came to over the course of several books. And you can clearly tell that he’s conceited and has issues, but isn’t actually malicious... and slowly the reader comes to the realization that he has hidden depths, that not even HE knew he had. It’s really interesting how he did some pretty bad things (or DIDN’T do, a lot of it has to do with inaction and just being uncaring), but he never comes off as being like, evil. He comes off as being an arrogant, narcissistic person at first, but then slowly finding out that beneath that is a lot of pain and trauma, and part of that persona he’s built up has been to deal with this. Watching him slowly change and grow and discover himself during the series, in a way he never had before... it’s just amazing to read. Also puts a nice cap on the Greco-Roman saga, in that the past two series had a heavy emphasis on how the gods didn’t care enough and had to have their hands forced a lot, and Apollo sort of acting as a stand-in for those other gods, showing that yes, they CAN change for the better - something that most of the gods, and even other immortals, didn’t think was possible, even as they did it.

Well that was super long. But yeah, I have strong feelings on the Riordanverse, and Trials of Apollo is far and away my favorite.

[canonicallysoulmates]

I’ve had some thoughts swirling around in my head for a while now regarding the first half of season 15 and what my feelings are about the series ending now that we have started the final season so before we enter into the second half of s15 I wanted to put those thoughts into this brain dump post. I’ve tried to my best to make everything cohesive and coherent and just make everything flow but this is as I said a brain dump so I apologize if this is all over the place. All opinions are my own and mine only, you might not agree with what I say, I might say some unpopular things just know I speak only for myself I don’t pretend to speak for you so if you have a different POV that is ok. And if you’re enjoying the 15th season that is ok too.

I hope that the second half of season 15 is better than the first half cause quite frankly the first half is disappointing as a season in general and as a final season it’s...frustrating.  It’s frustrating and sad and disappointing to see how not even it being the final season can make the writers care. Because I don’t believe for one second that any of the writers in that writers room or that Andrew Dabb and Robert Singer give a fuck about this show, God himself would have to come from the heavens and tell me to my face that Dabb&co. care about this show for me to even consider the possibility. 

This is it. This is the end. There is no season 16. There are no new episodes in Fall 2020. It’s the end of the line. It’s the end of the road. And I understand that for some this fact alone is enough to make them gloss over or forgive the flaws or make them more apprehensive of criticizing the show and the writers because after this there is no more and hey something is better than nothing...right? no. Not to me, because after this there are no opportunities to fix mistakes or to undue things like there would be if this was a regular season. This is the end, and I think this show, and the characters of Sam and Dean and the men who have brought them to life for 15 years, and us the fans deserve more than a final season comprised of the brothers being separated - both physically and emotionally - in the majority of the episodes,  an unnecessary romance, wasted episodes, characters that are brought back for no other reason than the writers thinking it’ll earn them brownie points, focus being placed more on others than on the brothers, retcons of established mythology. 

And listen I’m not gonna sit here and act like season 15 hasn’t given me moments I’ve enjoyed or like every episode of the nine so far have been trash or like I haven’t been willing to look past certain sins but I’m also not going to act like this season has been of a higher quality than past seasons or like if its been quality at all; even under Dabb - not even bringing up the amazingness of the classic seasons - past seasons have put forth better episodes than the ones we have gotten so far in terms of content. 

The first half of the season has in some ways changed my feelings towards the show ending.  I’m still sad about the show coming to an end but my sadness has changed to put it that way because now it has less to do with the fact the show is ending and more to do with the fact that we’re not getting the final season that I think this show deserves and it upsets me that in this the final season the show is still being destroyed so I guess what I’m sad about is no longer about the show coming to an end - which actually I’m glad and thankful to j2 that this show is ending because it’s for the best- but I’m sad about how it is coming to that end. 

I’m going to miss Sam and Dean like crazy, that hasn’t changed, when it all ends they and their relationship is what I’m truly going to miss about Supernatural. I know that once that final episode airs in May I’m going to sob my heart out and be inconsolable but I don’t know if my tears are going to be because I’m saying goodbye to these characters I love or if they’re going to be out of frustration because by the end Dabb would have destroyed this show and given us a disgusting, unsalvageable ending. 

My only hope for the ending are Jared and Jensen and quite honestly it wouldn’t surprise me if Dabb sold them on one script then pulled the rug from under them and screwed them over in the end. I truly have zero trust and faith in Dabb&co. I don’t think I’ve ever hated or mistrusted a writers room more so while I’m still open to being surprised cause there’s still time for Dabb&co to give us a solid second half not going to lie, and as much as I want the second half to be better and I truly do hope that it is good I’m not holding my breath for it and I am preparing myself for not just a disappointing, lackluster, frustrating second half but also for a disappointing, lackluster, frustrating series finale. 

Perhaps I will be more optimistic once the second half premieres and my feelings will change but for now this is where I stand concerning the series ending. 

[cosmiciaria]

In defense of Detroit Become Human (spoilers marked - long post!)

I know I arrived late at the party and everything that could've been said about this game has already been said – but I do want to add some things I haven't found in some reviews I’ve come across, while addressing all the flaws and giving credit where credit is due. And believe it or don't, this game is due a lot of credit. Yes, a game by David Cage is due credit, what has the world come to?

I must admit I'm not the greatest of fans of Cage's works. I can see all the flaws and plot holes in his games/interactive movies, but unlike others, I'm not that bothered by them. Hell, there are plot holes in many good stories and even the greatest games have some flaws, sometimes it feels people like picking one director and hating on them (cof cof, Tabata from Square cof). This doesn't mean Cage is free of sins, since that's far from reality: I still remember the Ellen Page's controversy with her naked model inside the game, and the creepy things they did to Madison in Heavy Rain for no reason whatsoever. Man, I think you should revalue some of your fetishes.

But aside from that, his games are heavily narrated focus, straying too far from the ordinary hero path and 'saving the world with the power of friendship'. He's stated there are so many things we can do in the videogame industry, and that most developers stick to the usual formula, just because they know it works and it profits. And I can understand his point of view, and even support it, that's why I always try to find something good in his games, even when the dialogues are bad and some acting leaves much to be desired – that happens in every game, in every movie, in every series.

Detroit Become Human is, by far, the best work by Cage. I can say so with full confidence: it's the first of his stories whose plot seem cohesive, coherent, whose characters undergo a visible and palpable development throughout the whole game, whose decisions and paths actually cross-impact later chapters and your choices do shape the way the story unfolds. I stress this because, for example in Beyond, your choices didn't matter much – even the QTE's were pretty useless. You just decided how the game would end in the last ten minutes of plot and that was it. Detroit, on the other hand, is so well planned that things you've done in the very first chapter have repercussions later down the line, and it's not like there's just two endings, but a lot of them, and lot of combinations that I'm still discovering. Your choices affect the during of the story, not just the ending. You can have good relationship with someone, or a bad one, and that will affect each scene those characters are in. You can have a good reputation with a group, or they can hate you, and so you will be ejected from the team. You can act irrational, or stay forever a machine, and the last big choice regarding that will depend of your actions across the whole game.

Just the decision making is a huge step up from previous works. And I can only compare this game to Until Dawn, but even in there, there are less decisions and less impact. Detroit is overwhelmingly huge when it comes to different paths and different versions of the same story. So much so that I told a friend who was also playing it about a scene, and she said 'wait, when does that happen? I didn't see it!'. It was as if we were talking about different games.

Detroit is about androids. It's the year 2038 and androids have flooded the market. They're like your usual vacuum but, hey, they can cook, take care of your children and even satisfy you sexually. They are such a common thing to see in the city that people ignore them. Most families have at least one android in their household, becoming completely reliant on their features. This is a future not so far away from our present.

But, lo and behold, because this game will explore the idea of 'freedom'. And, as you could've expected, some androids suddenly realize they don't want to work for humans anymore. Some androids are mistreated by their owners and suddenly they know they're in an unfair situation. Some androids have ambitions, dreams, ideas – some androids have the desire to be free.

And so, they become deviants. An artificial intelligence, capable of billions of simultaneous operations, young forever, and with conscience. Afraid, yet?

We will follow three main characters who happen to be androids: Connor, Markus and Kara. Connor is a prototype designed to assist investigators and police officers with cases, and he comes with many features that will facilitate all the analysis of clues. Markus is an android designed to care for an old man who has lost his mobility, and lives with him and cares for him as if he were his son. Kara is a housemaid android, who specializes in cleaning and taking care of children, but her owner is a drug-addict who forgot what it means to be a father.

Markus and Kara realize their unfair situation pretty early in the game, so they become deviants well at the beginning. Connor, on the other hand… well, it's in your hands to decide his fate.

Their stories will be intertwined: Connor will investigate cases involving deviants, alongside his sidekick – I mean, his partner, Lieutenant Hank Anderson, an old, anti-android human whose past is yet to be revealed; Markus will be falsely accused of aggression towards his owner or his son (depending what you choose), and he will come back from the dead, ready to lead a revolution against humans, demanding androids' rights; Kara will realize she wants to be a mother, and she will save the daughter of her owner from that hellhole they live in, only to travel from one corner of the city to another in search for an escape route. While Connor's and Markus's stories are well entangled, Kara's always felt a bit separated from them, which can be a huge let down. Personally, Kara's story was the one I enjoyed the least, but it has to do with something that happens at the end – that stupid plot twist – besides, it's more than clear in Kara's plotline that all the BS Cage loved from his previous games makes a return in here. Sometimes it felt like he left blender open and all the disastrous ideas he had for her story were spilled all over his kitchen. I can't think of anything else for that, because her plotline is a Frankestein of a story – uneven, irregular, although it has some touching moments, and Valerie Curry, the actress who plays Kara, delivers some guuud acting and lines.

I know the main message this game is trying to send is that androids are equals to humans. This is the most controversial aspect of the game: Cage, whether he says he did purposely or not, has compared the androids' struggle for freedom to that of African-American people, mixing together slavery and segregation. It's funny because Cage stated it wasn't his plan to allude to actual historical events that did happen not so long ago, and still we can see the segregation of androids in public transport, in public places, and the fact that Markus, with a bunch of other androids as well, demand freedom and the end of slavery from the humans. I like it more when he asks for fair compensation for their work.

And I say it's controversial because it's sending a wrong message. Slavery and segregation weren't contemporary, one came after the other; and the fact that they make a clear comparison to that social movement is criticizable. I'm not the most expert on US history – hell I'm from Argentina, guys – but even I know that the bloody history behind the fight for equal rights is far from over and has put the country on the brink of breaking down many times. That someone deliberately compares the android's fight that took only a few months to develop to that monstrous side of US history is, uhm, questionable in the least.

BUT let's just say that it's an awful coincidence (I'm looking at you, Cage) and leave it aside for a moment. That's the main message the game tries to send. But I believe the game actually sends another message, that is better executed, better fleshed out.

Androids and humans can love each other.        

[SPOILER scroll down until you see the end of the spoiler section]

This is obvious at the beginning with Markus, if you decide to endure Leo's bullying. Carl, Markus' owner, dies from a heart attack, and Markus, crying, desperate, falls to his knees and embraces the man who's been acting like his father for years. He yells Dad, no! in front of the real son, provoking a reaction in him and in the player. Just in this tiny moment, which I think most people slip by without paying too much attention, is enough message. It explains everything.

If you decide to push Leo, the scene plays out differently, and we learn this message towards the end, still in Markus' branch. Later in the story you go back and visit Carl, who doesn't die, but is instead stuck in his bed, connected to cables and such. He regards Markus with love and tenderness, and holds his hand, saying You're my son, Markus. Your blood is a different color, but I know that a part of me lives in you. Thank you, you made me cry.

This message is also well developed in the friendship you can form with Connor and Hank. And notice the 'you can' because you can also make them hate each other. But why on earth would you make Hank mad, if not only for the trophy? Because I can't bear the idea of disappointing that good old man. I need him to be proud of me – I mean, of Connor! Their relationship is wholesome, with some instances in which Hank calls him his son, which melted my heart obviously. Knowing that Hank had lost his real son prior to the events of the game makes all this even more touching and moving.

This message is not well conveyed with Kara and Alice, and you might guess why – yes, the fact that towards the end we learn that Alice isn't a human but an android too, utterly destroys the whole concept the game has been trying to build up for this moment. I don't know why Cage thought this was a good idea – maybe trying to explain that androids can love each other as family just like humans do, but that kinda breaks the rules here, because the idea was an android discovering they can love thanks to a human, who has all the real feelings whereas the androids have this emulations and… alright you get me. How can we truly know if they love each other for real if they are two androids? How can we make sure it isn't just some emulation and chemicals inside their metal bodies? Alright I'm going too deep here? Maybe?

[END OF SPOILER SECTION]

All in all, this is the message that stays with me after playing the game. I don't know if Cage did it purposely (suddenly all his messages are casual), but this is what I can save and treasure from this story. Oh, and also, save your fucking planet, polar bears are going extinct.

Characters are really well created. Their interactions are believable and natural, the acting (specially Bryan Dechart as Connor and Clancy Brown as Hank) is flawless, and you can appreciate when they become deviant and when they start thinking for themselves. Some lines delivered by Markus felt a bit forced, but I've heard the actor talk and he talks like that so maybe is the way he speaks. There are some secondary characters that became my favorite really quick, like Luther, Kara's companion in this journey; Simon, one of the first members of the revolution Markus meet; Hank, of course, although I deem him as a main character at this point. Others, well… Gavin is your well-known bully, whose lines are so stupid I can't believe his character made it into the game. Like really, he's taken straight out of a 90's high school movie. I could hear Henry Bowers from It laughing at his attempt of being a bad boy.

On the technical department, this game is stunning. Visuals are a delight: sometimes you couldn't differentiate if it was filmed or if it was CGI. Hint: it was all CGI! Faces, expressions, animations, I can't complain of any of those. The character's eyes, which are the only thing the motion capture can't record, were all added digitally, and I'm bound to say that they're perfect: they make each character feel real, alive. You know when you're staring at something, that your eyes regard everything and your pupils have these tiny, micro, slight movements? That was in the game, and I loved it. Clothes get wet when it's raining, they get frozen when it's snowy, and lights reflect every surface so realistically that you can tell the texture of each object and piece of cloth.

Music is also a great asset in this game. Each character had a different composer, which brought a distinct and unique aspect to each of their stories. I know I've been hating on Kara until now, but I must admit her theme song is the best out of everything in this game. Even when I watched the cutscenes back when the game was released, I had her theme buried under my skin, for it's melancholic, it reminds me of rain, and it makes me wanna cry.

Another aspect I want to address is the gameplay. You know Cage loves his daily doses of QTE's. But this time, though, they're well executed. I recommend playing the game in Experienced difficulty (which is the normal difficulty), because it truly offers a more immersive experience. The use of the controller in all this was clever, and they used everything they had at their disposal to make you feel you're there in the story. For instance, the use of the vibration system of your joystick: when you pet the dog at Hank's house, you can feel a very slight vibration in your hands, as if the dog was breathing, what you would feel when you pet a dog, of course; but when you're driving a truck that leaves the sidewalk and falls into the street, you feel the sudden rough movement and the way the engine is speeding up; or you can feel heartbeats when Markus is trying to repair himself. All these instances of breaking the fourth wall to make you feel part of the story are implemented in such an intelligent way that it works wonders.

And speaking about breaking the fourth wall… In your main menu you'll have an android that will be your hostess. She will comment on the discoveries you'll be finding in your storyline, but she will also play some tricks to you or talk to you all of a sudden. And if you reach the good ending… well, there's a surprise with her. Let's just say that she's a great addition to the game and a fan favorite.

In conclusion, this is by far Cage's most polished and well thought game to date. And I've been hiding my obsession with Connor up until now so you wouldn't think I'm crazy but, I can't believe Cage created a character like this. I love him. Protect this sweet summer child. Don't make him a machine, please :'( Connor Army here I go.

If you have doubts about this game, buy it on sale. You will at least have a good time playing it and discovering the different paths. But if you like heavily narrated games, and you have at least enjoyed some of his previous works, don't miss on this one. It's really better. And it's really more worth it.

[spacemilkies]

pairing: arthur morgan x modern!reader

summary:

the one where dreams aren’t what you make them,

in fact, they’re quite irrevocably the opposite.

everyone talks about changing the past for a brighter future,

but what are you willing to gamble to make a difference?

l | lll

In a very short amount of time, you’d managed to exhaust yourself mentally and physically. It was becoming abundantly clear that dreams were not as flexible as many made them out to be.

After strain and stress, you tried aimlessly to will away your whims and not the slightest feature gave to your demands.

Somehow you remained in your state of dress and even more unfortunately, you’d been unable to strip a single garment from your cowboy.

It was becoming easier to swallow how this might just be a nightmare after all.

Likely the only thing you were going to be able to.

Clothed and apparently more time sensitive than you were, the man whom you’d come to appreciate by the scruff of his beard, was adamant on uprooting you further then just the floor.

You’d resisted at first when he wanted to lead you out of the house. It had only been a fleeting amount of time, or as best as you were able to reason, but it was your only comfort thus far.

It certainly beat risking whatever elements out there.

Your ‘savior’, as you liked to put lightly was beginning to show signs of irritation, however, as he pulled insistently at your joined hands.

And in a childish show of defiance, you leaned back in objection.

Feisty and annoying were clearly painted on a thin dividing line.

“Look, girl, I don’t have the time. I’ve got other people to look after.”

Bordering on hypothermic, there was little argument to be had that would be convincing on your part. But to not cry out against the prospect of galavanting off with a stranger would breach some sort of violation against nativity. Your core temperature had risen enough degrees to at least factor in some common sense.

“Where are you taking me?”

Even in your disagreement, he’d managed to get you near the threshold before answering. The slow drag of movement was almost preferable to the effort it would have taken to walk there properly.

His voice cracked under the fight against the elements,“A place like this is something we need. So I got to get back to them, to bring ‘em here.”

The spiral of possibilities were too endless got you to grasp coherently as you stood shaking under the weight of them all. With no control and little information, leaving your one ‘safe’ space didn’t feel like the most plausible strategy. 

“Wait- were coming right back? Why don’t I just stay-”

Before you could register why he was bending at the knee, he had an arm around yours and had you thrown over his shoulder in the next second. Your head complained louder than your voice as the hazy feeling complied to the weight of a bounder against your skull.

“Oh, god, I think I’m going to throw up.”

That was a lie. It felt as if you hadn’t eaten in days.

It was impossible not to admire his strength as he carried you almost effortlessly, the broad of his shoulder acting like adult heating pack. “We are in need of shelter and I don’t think you would survive long enough for me to return. So yes, we’ll be back.”

Your body sung uselessly as he made the first sunken step into the snow. Everything after that was a series of crunches as the little cabin began to distance itself. As it turned out, it wasn’t solely just a cabin. The further you were away, the more buildings began to appear until a small town of sort rose.

It somehow managed to look aged without necessary years to degrade. The wooden structures looked sturdy but it lacked the reinforcement you knew to be standard in most homes. Even wooden resorts. Not that this place seemed to be popular with the public.

It all begged the recurring question:

“Where are we?”

With a grunt, you were deposited on the back of a horse. Your hands immediately reached for the saddle to balance yourself as you instinctively kicked your leg over to properly straddle the mount. You missed the odd look you received as he situated himself comfortably into the seat in front of you.

All sensibility lost in the storm, you huddled close and squeeze the bareness of your legs as close to the center of heat as you could. His jacket was larger, the length billowing over you like a blanket but in this weather you would need much more.

Your unnamed cowboy waited until the horse fell into an even gallop before answering.

“Somewhere around Ambarino, we think. This wasn’t your destination then?”

Ambarino? 

You weren’t even sure what it was let alone find a reason why you’d somehow ended up here. Given the landscape, you were certainly further up north. The peaks of mountains could easily name a few states but you weren’t nearly comfortable enough to confidently place the town. Coming from a warmer more reasonable southern location, there was really only one you could recall from your childhood.

“Is this in Colorado? I mean I was young, but I came here once. Maybe this hallucination is a deeper psychological analysis or something.” you rambled, fully aware of how unhinged you sounded.

The man made it well clear how aware of his lack of understanding was.

“Girl, somethin’ ain’t right with you. I hope your mind thaws out soon.”

There was too much of a mutual agreeance with his diagnostic to be affronted. The disconnect was glaringly obvious yet you couldn’t grasp the tangibleness of it in order to prove your sanity.

As far as anything you could make clear of, it was just the scenic route of a dream you’d be lucky to remember by daybreak.

Despite its frosty script, it had certain charms that would be worth remembering in.

You’d heard of mountain men before. Read about their solidarity and gruff disposition. Of course in those novels, a young maiden often appeared on their doorstep and the two would warm themselves by the fire clothed in another by their skin and furs.

It was unlikely that a similar plot would pan out for you.

With a visible huff, you snuggled closer into his back comfort outside of the chaos of your mind. The biting wind was beginning to burn beyond the limits of what you could imagine. If it wasn’t for the nonsensical backdrop you would have began to consider that it might just not be a dream.

The sun was setting low on the horizon, but nothing had changed.

Where you had expected to see houses, roads and any sign of life,

you only discovered a continuing theme of snow, trees, some rocks and more snow.

You wanted to question the location more but instead another curiosity won out.

“I didn’t catch your name.”

He’d tried to remain quiet the ride thus far. Though part of it was likely due to his hesitance to inspire more madness from your lips. This was a question he seemed more amicable to respond to.

“Arthur. Arthur Morgan.”

You gave your name response, lip quirking when he mimicked it back in his own twang. It was … soothing. Like the warm scratch in just the right place.

You fell comfortably into it, time working heavily against the strength of your eyes as they sliding close. The unchecked weight against his back seemed to alert Arthur as he cut a concerned glance over his shoulder,

“I’m no doctor but I don’t think you should be sleepin’, ma’am.”

Maybe you laughed, the rumble sounded familiar in your throat as you rubbed your face into the cut of his leather.

“ I thought you were tired of hearing me speak nonsense?”

“Better than you being dead.”

There was no doubting the truth in the statement but it as becoming increasingly difficult to get your body to agree. The environment offered nothing stimulating. The sun was long gone and without it, both warmth and the light to make discernible images was gone. All that was left was the darkness of an abyss as you trotted further into it.

Perhaps this was the end and you’d finally wake up on the other side of the tunnel.

Who knows, maybe you’d continue you adventure with the mysterious Arthur Morgan another night.

Yawning around the thought, you settled comfortably into the admission.

You’re started when you feel an insistent pat on your thigh. You realize blankly how you register more of the impact than the way it knocks against the chill of your thigh.

“Hey now, stay with me, girl.”

You correct him with your name quietly but he hears it, latching on to the thin threads of your quick-temperedness.

“Hey, girl. Tell me. If you ain’t a prostitute, what are you and why were you dressed like that?”

If it was his plan to force you hand in defending your honor, you’d risen irritably to the challenge as you fought away the dreads of sleep.

“God, you really must enjoy a nice beating.”

His laugh is scratchy against the storm,” I’ve survived enough of ‘em.”

“Yeah, well you’re in for a life of them if you keep referring to women as sex workers. I’m a student, Arthur and I was sleeping off a hell of an exam which explains my state of dress.”

You were convinced he’d developed a tone of voice just for you. “Sleepin’ on the floor in the middle of winter in an old mining town … by yourself?”

With all the elements lined up- well, not that it made much sense from the beginning.

“Look, whenever I wake  up from this dream I promise you, Arthur Morgan, that I will book a very expensive appointment with a psychiatrist to work out my obvious issues.”

You can’t see how gave, but it’s okay, because you’re certain. That you can heat the collision of his brows. He hums something along the lines of sleep. The words are so cohesive with your own desires that it could impersonate a lullaby.

A sleep deprived smile, weak in the edges, curls your lips,“How old are you anyway, Arthur?”

All bundled it has hard to guess and the beard still blurred the lines but he didn’t seem like much of a gap.

“Thirty five.”

You squeeze tighter, knocking off the chill on your nose against the back of his neck. His body rolls in complaint but you’re attached too close to be batted away so easily. 

“Huh… maybe daddy issues will be a starting point,” you mused audibly.

“What was that?”

“You don’t want to know.”

Arthur may have called out but it’s lost to the static of the storm. You aren’t sure if it was intentional or not but the horse’s gait had been slowed to a choppy gait, the irritating bump with every step keeping you perfectly unbalanced the peak of unconsciousness.

You think you hear him call out to you again but the voice feels distant. Arthur shifts in your arms, and this time you know it’s his voice but it’s directed away. All at once the white noise collided with the cream of wood and the displeasure of horses treading through the snow.

The build up of frost takes a few blinks to flake away before take in the small caravan lumbering towards you. Arthur slowed to a halt, allowing them to roll closer. The familiarity of conversation makes it easy to assume this was the group he’d been determined to get to. 

“And who is this?”

Even at such a close proximity, its difficult to make out features of the man referring to you. If Arthur senses your apprehension it’s muted against the urgency of the new parameters as he carefully pries open the ring of your arms.

He vaguely explains your predicament as he guides you off the horse and carries you to the nearest wagon. Before you’re able to comprehend the newly familiar loss of his warmth, you’re immediately surrounded by limber hand ands as women tuck various clothing and blankets around you.

The voices rang from different pitches and tones, but you’re too exhausted to try and piece them into something explainable. They throw more questions at you than you have the answers to give.

“Honey, what are you wearin’?”

Too far to reach yet close enough to provide the presence of comfort, you position Arthur hovering near. “Let’s worry about that later. Get her warm.”

The most distinguished touch is that of hands weathered like leather from age. It gives the familiar prickle of a grandparent with the odd firmness of an ox as they try to tear away the comfort of Arthur’s coat.

You find yourself fighting back, clinging to the material for reasons other than warmth.

“Best you give this jacket back to Mr. Morgan, dear.”

When another answers in your stead, you decide that Arthur’s voice is like cinnamon when compared to others. A distinct spicy aftertaste to discern it from the others, and just enough warmth to bite away the chill of discomfort.

“That’s alrigh’, Karen. Let her keep it, I got somethin’ else to do the job.”

Everyone seemed concerned about- everything outside of your sluggish desire for sleep. They were unsatisfied with your tight lip, but weren’t able to give them what they wanted anyway. 

You only wanted one thing and at this point you were convinced that it would be the one remedy to solve it all.

Tucking your face into the pillow of wool, you sought it out from the one provider who help where needed. 

“Hey, Arthur, can I sleep now?”

You’d lost him in the chaos awhile back, but suddenly he was everywhere.

The voice in your ear.

The hands at your hearth.

The weight on your shoulders.

“Yeah, girl. Just make sure you wake up when I call.”

Notes: I don’t know why I spend so much time pregame but I do and regret it every time. But it only took two chapters this time so we’ll roll into the familiar storyline with the next one. Thank you so much for all the positive feedback. This chapter is a bit more slow paced but I want to build everything one piece at a time.

[anxiety-trademark]

The week in review:

Raw 11/16 NXT 11/18 NXT UK 11/19 Smackdown 11/20 Survivor Series 11/22

Raw:

Appreciate Lana providing logic to the creation of this match.

“Is this a Disney movie” lmao.

Honestly Shayna works better as a henchman than as a final boss.

Love Lana’s theme btw.

rip Mandy.

Ugly kick by Asuka. Not a compliment.

hahaha Lana tagged herself into the match while Shayna had Asuka in the clutch. hahahahah.

“You suck, get out” rofl.

Asuka you’re trash for not saving Lana. Truly.

“I’m actually really proud of you, you showed a lot of courage tonight.” Nia is funny. A bitch and a bully, sure, but funny.

There’s number 9. rip.

First of all, Dana’s shaky interview was going really well, and I wish they had let her finish it cuz god knows she needs the practice.

Second, WHY IS MIA YIM ATTACKING DANA OF ALL PEOPLE?

I’m not sorry, I shamelessly love Bray and Alexa together, goodbye.

“Your word is... jackass” lmaooo why is he even doing a spelling bee to prep for this match.

rip Rambling Rabbit for the 38th time.

What makes him being killed so damn demented is not only the way he exhibits agony and suffering as he dies, but the way they STAND BY LAUGHING UNCONTROLLABLY. This is the definition of sociopathy.

“Bullseye!” “More like... Rabbit’s heart!” *continues laughing hysterically* jfc.

Really love how Alexa puts her hand beneath her chin and then waves. That goes along with her characteristics developed since the fairy gimmick in nxt back in 2014/2015, to the cosplaying mean girl in 2016/2017/2018, to the babyface in 2019/2020. Also adds another layer with her gloves. Love that.

Nikki’s wandering around looking for Alexa, when clearly she should be looking for the Firefly Funhouse. I suggest asking Seth or Randy.

“Friends never give up on each other,” they also don’t give each other ultimatums cuz that’s toxic af, but okay.

She keeps running her mouth about Fiend and I can already see Alexa demolishing her for it.

LOVE the cohesion in going from one segment to the other as Sarah runs around looking for an interview. Fitting since that’s obviously her job, but it went together smoothly. They really come off as tmz lol.

I appreciate how Miz doesn’t want to fuck with Bray cuz he knows Bray will just torment his family lol. I also appreciate his reasoning because he’s a true opportunist. he doesn’t want to exhaust himself with this match cuz he might cash in later.

Love Alexa’s remixed theme, it’s jarring af. Walking red flag btw.

Oh nooo Nikki what are you doinggg.

I’m not a fan of how Nikki sold this interaction. Didn’t feel natural at all.

OH SHIT the sound of that slap, oof.

Oh my god I love how Bray came out and glared at Nikki. FANTASTIC. Absolute gold. Then he just smiles at Alexa as she takes his arm to escort him to the ring.

And the way the camera focuses back on Miz and Morrison... Miz’s face... I can’t, this is tremendous tbh. What a great story to run throughout this week’s Raw.

lmfao the way Alexa stuck her head between the ropes to scare Morrison. Ugh this pairing is easily my favorite thing in wwe rn.

Interesting, so Bray protects her. A fair duo.

I will never not cringe at watching people pretend to break someone’s neck by twisting it to the side. If I was a wrestler, that’s a move I would NEVER allow to be done to me.

On the plus side, Alexa took out Morrison and he sold it really fucking well. On the negative, it seems that distracted Bray as he’s more concerned for her well being now.

Oh my god the way Alexa reappears from behind the barricade. Creepy as shit.

Love watching her “balance” on the barricade considering she was one hell of a gymnast in her day.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for watching Lacey progress in the ring, cuz I think her character work is just fantastic, but holy shit what a downgrade going from Mandy and Dana to Lacey and Peyton.

Why is she excited? Why is it exciting to fight Sasha? Maybe Asuka should’ve taken that match a bit more seriously, considering the outcome. But I’m jumping ahead of myself.

“No one is ready for Asuka,” except for Charlotte, Becky, Shayna, Alexa, Sasha...

I do appreciate how Lacey isn’t scared of anyone while Peyton is wary of literally everyone. That’s good. Nia has a point though, y’all could’ve used Mandy. I guess it doesn’t matter though, considering the outcome. Jumping ahead of myself again.

“Worst idea since Quibi” lmao shots fired.

*Bonus* Peyton/Lacey online exclusive: they vibe real well off script. Peyton made points saying she can’t wait to teach Lacey how to be on a team. That’s valid cuz Lacey is NOT much of a team player. Points to Lacey though, she’s funny as hell.

Highlight: Alexa Bliss

---

NXT:

Awesome hearing War Pigs during that Shotzi promo. Is that the official theme song for War Games? If so, baller to wwe for shelling that cash out.

I’m guessing Shotzi was fixing her tank? Was that the premise? Regardless, the setting was different and interesting.

I really like the fencing around nxt’s ringside. Fits with the grungy “indie” feel.

God I’m gonna have to watch Candice defeat Kayden and Kacy aren’t I?

Indi bought the Garganos a flat screen tv? :/ mk. What does she have to gain? Johnny was an AWFUL champion and Candice has never even held gold. What is she hoping to accomplish?

“Indi is gaining one of the best mentors in the nxt locker room” lmao WHAT.

omg Kacy and Kayden are so fucking entertaining, I feel like I say this every time I watch them. All tag teams need to TAKE. NOTES. Look at that cohesion and teamwork. Whew.

Hold on don’t try to retcon Tegan as leaving Candice’s side. I hate Tegan even more than I hate Candice, and she was a shite friend to Dakota by proxy of being a spineless dweeb, but do not try to paint Candice as the victim in her feud with Tegan.

I know nothing about the Dakota/Candice friendship but I’d go ahead and blame Dakota since she’s hella douchey lmao.

Imagine thinking Indi is an upgrade from Dakota. Commentary is super funny and distracting tonight lmao.

Was that not a flatliner? Sure looked like an intended flatliner.

So Kacy attempts to kill herself in the process of taking out Indi and none of the cameras caught it? :/ we still using interns looking for college credits in production? Is that what’s happening??

Vic is kind of an awful commentator in his actual calls. “Nice suplex, almost a brainbuster” better hope that was a brainbuster cuz if not, that was the saddest fucking suplex I’ve ever seen in my life.

So Kacy almost kills herself using offense against Indi and Indi was coherent first? Ugh anyway.

Why do we have to listen to Ember speak every week? What a terrible idea.

So now she’s gonna be nxt’s savior by getting rid of Dakota and Raquel? Oh for fuck’s sake.

Why does she have fucking soda tabs on her gear still.

Why is she teaming with Toni. I THOUGHT THEY WERE HEELS. Seriously, am I the dumb one? Am I the one who needs their hand held? Has Ember not been acting like a heel since she returned? Am I the only one confused about Toni’s alignment??

“We’ve fallen victim to the numbers game” WHEN have you fallen victim to the numbers game, Toni? WHO WROTE THIS.

I know nxt wants me to give a shit about Ember and Toni, but good luck making me care about anyone down there more than Dakota or Rhea.

I would really appreciate it if Dakota was moved up to the MR without actually showing any dissention from Raquel.

Dakota calls a lot of matches, I’ve noticed. Pro shit.

Toni’s German suplexes are amazing if she’s actually never hurt anyone, cuz MAN they look gnarly af.

Gorgeous tornado ddt by Ember. Nice speed, great handling by Raquel.

Don’t Dakota and Toni have quite the history? From UK?

Today in wrestling commentary: Vic cannot tell the difference between left and right.

Whoa I just noticed Dakota isn’t wearing her knee brace. That’s kind of monumental, right? Isn’t that a big deal? I feel like that’s a big deal.

Honestly I might like Toni more than Ember. She comes off as a lot more likable since her move to nxt.

Oh Christ I gotta see Candice again. 

Hi why isn’t this main eventing? Do Rhea fucking Ripley and Io fucking Shirai not deserve it?? For real???

Hate it when refs hold the title up crooked. Noob.

Holy shit Io’s speed is TOP. TIER. Whew.

And then slips on the turnbuckle, sad. Could’ve been worse, could’ve been a Shotzi wipeout (and that’s what I’m gonna call it from now on)

What Io has in speed, Rhea has in strength, these are the facts.

Why did Vic cut Beth off by saying exactly what she was in the middle of saying? Vic’s losing a lot of points tonight tbh.

oof gnarly German suplex off the second rope by Io.

Oh my, Rhea’s ear is covered in blood. Must have punctured her ear with an earring. Rough. I say this as someone who has her fair share of piercings: it BOGGLES MY MIND why any of these women wrestle with their piercings in lmao. No ma’am.

Brutal match, whew.

Rhea wiped her own blood on her face.

There are some aprons spots with Rhea obviously waiting around that needed some work.

Rhea can sell, certainly, but her screaming is way too dramatic at times. Most notably at wm in the empty arena, but this match is a close second. Almost borders on annoying.

Niiice Rhea adding a nice vortex spin on the tail end of her cloverleaf submission. Points. Keep that.

Oh that Riptide attempt countered into an armbar by Io. BEAUTIFUL.

I liked that. Io goes for the 619 in the middle rope, Rhea ducks. Io goes for the 619 on the lower rope, Rhea dodges. Io strikes her a couple times, Rhea falls to the opposite side of the ring and Io proceeds to hit the 619. Good stuff.

Lol Io’s smiling at Rhea kicking out of the missile dropkick.

Nice flip off of Rhea’s clothesline but I’m not a fan of Io landing her moonsault on her feet. That’s not really her M.O.

Fucking spiked Rhea with a ddt by countering the Riptide again. That’s a solid champion, has her opponent completely scouted.

Beautiful sunset flip powerbomb through the ropes with Rhea landing through a table. Would’ve been cool if Rhea had let go right away, though.

In kf, I give points to Rhea for dragging herself from the rubble just to eat a clean pin. Great match.

Highlight: Io vs Rhea

---

NXT UK:

Wow robbing me of KLR’s entrance. Guess Piper is officially the heel.

Quit calling her a “new” Piper Niven. A slight aggression is hardly “new”

BE CAREFUL WITH KLR’S SNAZZY COAT.

Y’all got tape out? Have we learned nothing from Bayley/Sasha hiac?

CHUCKED A FUCKING RING BELL INTO PIPER’S HEAD LMAO

Ugh headbutt that takes everyone out. Tsk.

Ric who? Charlotte’s dad??

Who do I gotta pay to see KLR vs Becky Lynch in an extreme match?!

KLR rolls away after that fisherman buster on the outside. Smart points.

Alright listen I’m on KLR’s side but WHY IS JINNY OUT HERE

Lol smacked Piper with a ‘no entry’ sign. Haha.

And Piper broke a sign over KLR’s head, followed by puns from the commentators.

rip random guitar.

Match doesn’t have any creative spots really, but they sure know how to utilize random objects.

BRO YOU CAN’T TAKE A STEEL PIPE TO HER KNEE ON CONCRETE, THAT’S HELLA RUDE. KLR lit a fire under Piper’s ass and Piper’s trying to retire her as thanks. Super, super rude.

Fuck her up fam, I don’t even feel bad.

??? Did KLR even land through the table or did she just land straight onto the fucking concrete? Jesus Christ man. No, she didn’t, she slid into the second table and just ate the floor. Oh my god. IS SHE OKAY??

Highlight: That vicious ending gained KLR a lot of respect in my eyes

---

Smackdown:

Imagine being surprised that Adam chose the longest reigning SD women’s champion as his team captain. Granted she’s probably despised by everyone, but she’s got the pedigree, come on now.

Look how good Bayley looks. Whew.

“You know what time it is? Bayley time.” she’s so annoying rofl.

Wow riveting stuff, I have zero comments about this 2 min match tbh.

Go stand in the ring with your damn captain, Bianca.

Lmao Bayley allergic to hugs now. Character progression.

It’s quite the team I’m ngl. I just wish we could’ve wrapped up this Sasha/Bayley shit like... months ago so we could enjoy captain Bayley for a bit longer. Gonna burn through this in one damn episode. It’s a bummer.

*Bonus* Nattie’s online exclusive: “I sailed through some rough waters [...] I’m smart, I’m sexy, I’m funny, I’m rich” She is funny, I will give her that.

We’re getting Asuka/Sasha face to face? For real? Okay.

Cute, Sasha’s smile toward Asuka actually looked genuine. I miss when Sasha seemed genuine. It’s like Bayley killed that part of her.

“Michael are you forgetting what time it is?” BAYLEY TI-- “It is boss time, baby!” welp my mistake.

I’ve played Asuka’s dialogue to Sasha 3x and I still have no idea what she was saying because of her ridiculous fucking dancing and animation. I’m tired. Bayley come take her title.

Omg now she’s doing “you can’t see me” SHE ACCOMPLISHES NOTHING I absolutely despise her being champion.

Actually she is ready for Asuka, and I’m gonna take great joy in watching her win this Sunday. Sasha is hella unlikeable until the moment that bell rings, then she’s a god. Is what it is.

Booo Sasha was actually doing good on the mic, how dare you ruin that, Carmella.

Asuka is awful. Even Becky and Ronda fought off common enemies once upon a time. Asuka helps legit N O B O D Y. Awful champion.

Highlight: Captain Bayley

---

Survivor Series:

Love Sasha’s gear.

Asuka kicked out at one, quick everyone cry about her selling. Oh wait she’s not Charlotte, my bad.

Beautiful attempt at an armbar by Sasha, whew.

Sasha is so good at this whole wrestling thing lol.

Nice pop up from that backstabber.

Right and in contrast, Asuka is an amazing striker.

Oh a codebreaker to Sasha as she dangles from the second rope. Gorgeous move.

Ahhhh the blue haired god got the job done. I knew she’d win but it’s so gratifying to see.

Not much to say about the match. The spots weren’t brutal or super creative/innovative, but it had GREAT back and forth and really showcased their chemistry in technical wrestling. Also might very well have been the best match they’ve had yet, seemed pretty short though. Still, an enjoyable watch. Good for Sasha.

Lol the disdain in Nia’s face as she looks at Lana.

Look, Bayley’s arm band says ‘captain’ so she’s the captain.

Love seeing how creative people get with their gear at Survivor Series, as opposed to just throwing a damn brand shirt on. Looking at you, 2016.

One thing I’ve learned about Bayley is if she calls you sister, she genuinely likes you behind the scenes. So glad to see Lacey is in her good graces.

Omg Lacey learned how to do a kip up, everybody clap.

Love how the light shines off of Nattie’s gear. Got rainbows popping.

Squatting while stalling a suplex, and synchronized kip ups. Bianca and Nattie are fun.

“Bayley and the great Becky Lynch,” Oh shit, peep that RESPECT we’re putting on her name now? She gets ‘the great’?? wwe finally seeing her on the same level as ‘the great’ Charlotte Flair??? I am shook. Good for her, fucking deserved (also poor Bayley rofl)

Lana tags herself in again lmao. Nia 5 seconds from killing her. Look, Lana tries. Let her try.

I can’t breathe. she been put in timeout.

(referring to a move by Peyton) “I give that a perfect 10“ PPPFFFFTTTT

What a bump by Bayley; a suplex off the top rope onto the entire roster on the outside, and what a great locker room leader to be checking on everyone IMMEDIATELY as if she didn’t just fucking take a massive bump. Also poor Lana standing over there watching the fun lol.

Now I already knew Peyton pinned Bayley cuz of the outrage by Bayley fans who deemed her “buried” afterward, but I think it was a poor decision to have Peyton get that pin. Peyton sucks, not sorry. Have Lacey get that pin before Peyton. Actually, have Lana get that pin before Peyton.

Not sure what Nattie was going for with that submission to Peyton, but she improvised real quick. So points.

Doesn’t Nattie usually wear wrist guards? Awkward seeing her without them.

Goes for a sharpshooter on a woman who’s not even active rn. I’m removing her points lmao.

I legit never get to see Bianca’s 450 splash and you know what? Fuck y’all.

Well Bianca’s a great partner to do a Spanish Fly with so, good on Lacey.

That’s an interesting elimination. Ruby would’ve pinned Shayna as she had rolled back and reversed the Clutch, but the ref was distracted by Nia. By the time he started counting, Ruby had passed out. Interesting.

Crucifix Bomb by Liv eliminates Lacey, fucking dope.

Having Bianca as the last survivor on her team is great for Bianca. This is a compliment from management.

BEAUTIFUL catch by Shayna into the Clutch. Wow that was nice.

Ah we redoing the spot from their Takeover match, IE my introduction to Bianca. Solid.

Oh this is good. Bianca passed out from the Clutch while on the ropes so Shayna was disqualified. Nia drug Bianca out of the ring to put her through the announce table and they started brawling until they were both counted out. 

Again, I knew Lana was the sole survivor but seeing it happen is fucking hilarious. Nice protection for Bianca though, and seeing Nia this pissed off is so cathartic.

Highlight: Bianca was the real standout imo

---

*Survivor Series shined the brightest as we had both a great technical match, and a fun, entertaining multiwoman match filled with shenanigans. If that’s a cop out, then I’ll give it to NXT this week. 

[darthsuki]

Selfship Prompt: First Meeting

Read other Daniel/Hanzo prompt fills here

Read series on AO3

“You know,” Daniel said softly, wrapping another layer of crisp, clean bandages over the wound of the man sitting beside him. “I don’t exactly do this very often.” Though the wound was small, it was stubborn, bleeding through each layer. The red color unfurled like a flower, as beautiful as it was morbid. The young man huffed and doubled his efforts–no major artery or vein was even touched, he just needed to apply more pressure and layers of bandage.

“And what might that be?” The older man slurred as he leaned on Daniel’s smaller frame. “Taking in wounded strangers, or taking in drunkards?” The smell of alcohol was heavy on his breath, which made it no surprise for how the man must have found himself in the position in the first place.

Daniel chuckled under his breath.

“Not exactly; you’d might be surprised to know you’re definitely not the first,” he murmured, though It was more than loud enough for his unnamed companion to hear. He was still drenched from the downpour outside, soaking everything and everyone who couldn’t find some sort of shelter, even if it was as simple as Daniel’s own apartment. Though the man sat on his bed, soaking the sheets and blanket, at least he wasn’t bleeding anymore. “It was more because I used to be a doctor, of sorts.”

The man’s eyebrow raised as he looked Daniel over. He looked unamused, as if the admission lacked the shock value it was supposed to. Even past the glazed look from however much alcohol he had consumed, the doubt in his face was obvious.

“Undergraduate. Apprentice might be more accurate though,” Daniel clarified, though convincing the man one way or another wouldn’t change much of anything. “I was part of a program that sorta fell through. Used to help full-time in a clinic nearby before it lost most of its funding and was almost shut down completely. I still work there from time to time.”

Silence fell between them, Daniel and the man’s eyes meeting, but neither saying a thing. The rain sounded louder than before, without words distracting from the occasional rumble of thunder, or the thick drops of rain pelting down on the old roof on Daniel’s apartment.

It felt awkward, the air turning from silent to suffocating far too quickly, but at least the drunkard had enough cohesiveness left in him to keep a semi-coherent conversation going.

“I suppose it’s only fair to ask your name,” the stranger grumbled, voice low and powerful despite otherwise thick with intoxication.

“It’s Daniel,” the young man offered, slowly putting away the medical supplies he had laid out on the bed. He wasn’t sure how deep the man wanted of an answer, what was the level of appropriate information to give him beyond that–so Daniel merely asked the same.

“And what’s your name?” He secured the small kit of medical supplies beneath his bed.

The man let out a hum before slurring out a response, entirely avoidant or forgetful of the question itself.

“You’re obviously not from Japan.”

Though Daniel could have pushed harder for an answer to his question, he chalked up the lack of one to the man’s body being filled with alcohol. Short attention span, thick slurr in his accent, all signs he had seen plenty of times before.

Daniel stood up and gazed down at the stranger, not bothering to suppress a chuckle as he gestured towards himself.

“What gave it away?” He laughed. “And here I thought my crappy Japanese and white-ass features would blend right in.”

When the man didn’t reply, Daniel quickly worried that he might have come off wrong. He cleared his throat and quickly tried to busy himself with finding some clothes for the man to wear, at least while the current outfit went through the crappy little dryer in his apartment (assuming it hadn’t broke down again).

“I uh, only been here for several months. Maybe almost a year?” it didn’t take long to find a pair of sweatpants and an oversized sweatshirt that would probably fit the man somewhat well. “Worked with some nice people but uh, they sorta bailed on me when…things went down.”

“That doesn’t sound felonious at all.”

“No! I mean-” Daniel sighed in exasperation, about ready to toss the clothes at the other man. He tried not to stare at the stranger, looking almost regal despite being as wet and pitiful-looking as a stray dog. It must have been the long, raven hair, or the piercing quality of his eyes. Maybe even the tattoo that spiraled down one arm, the same one that had been injured when he had managed to fall off Daniel’s roof and cut it in the tumble down.

The man was an enigma, and Daniel had known him for all of under an hour.

“…I worked for a program funded by Overwatch. I mean, I guess by definition I too worked under Overwatch.”

Though it wasn’t something that Daniel felt ashamed of, being affiliated with it wasn’t something he cared to advertise. Sentiments were still poisoned to some people about the group, its official disbandment still fresh in the public’s mind.

The stranger watched as Daniel stepped closer, slowly accepting the change of clothes with a gaze so careful that Daniel almost questioned if he was still drunk at all.

“…Why are you still here, if you no longer need to be?” The man asked, slowly, but out of genuine curiosity.

Daniel shrugged.

“ ’m still able to help people,” he mumbled, for lack of any better answer. “The clinic doesn’t get any funding from Overwatch anymore, obviously, but some people have enough loyalty or selflessness to keep donating to keep it running a bit.“ A sigh slowly escaped the younger man’s lips. ”…I guess it’s better than trying to run home when I was trying so hard to leave it in the first place.”

It would have invalidated all the years he spent trying to amount for something, to make a life for himself. He didn’t spent several years of enlistment in the military only to end up back home on his parents doorstep, with a story of ‘well, all my plans fell through’ to the same people who had less than stellar hopes to begin with for his life. At least he could be helpful there, with the clinic. At least he could still do good in a world that only got scarier by the day. At least some people still believed in heroes.

The man stared at Daniel for a long time, though Daniel kept his eyes averted towards the floor, obviously avoiding meeting the gaze. After what felt like a long, awkward silence, he slowly stood up.

“…My name is Hanzo.”

And then he left, excusing himself for the privacy of Daniel’s bathroom to change, leaving the other man pondering over his odd, curious house guest.

[ginnyzero]

A Method to My Madness

Every writer has a different writing process. Some writers like to meticulously plan things out with detailed outlines and may plan an entire series of books in advance. Other writers sit down with whatever their favored materials are and just start writing without a clue of where the story started or where it’s headed, preferring to write by the seat of their pants. Then there are writers on the sliding scale of everything in between. The point is to find what works for you and gives you the most productivity. Productivity means words written for the story. Because no matter how much planning you do or how many notes you make, none of that matters unless you write the story.

For a lot of years, I didn’t have a writing process. See, that is something of the joy of fan fiction. You don’t really need a writing process. You write what you want to write and it doesn’t matter if it has a coherent plot or not. It doesn’t really need to be excessively long. And the concept of writing something three times for fun is rather laughable. You write. You spell check. You publish. That was pretty much my writing process for a very long time.

Now that I’m writing my own stories. I find that this has changed. Look, I’ll admit that there is a lot of good fan fiction out there. Good does not mean publishable. When you want to try and publish something, there is and should be an entirely different game plan than just writing for fun to post it on the internet. (There is a bit of rant in here somewhere, but that’s not what we’re here to talk about.)

So, the first step to any writing process is to get an idea.

Ideas can come from anywhere. Conversations. Family antics. Other pieces of media. They can really pop out of anywhere at any time. They can come from our fears, our fascinations or what we find funny. I tend to go a lot with what I find funny. Does this amuse me? If it makes me laugh or entertains me for a good five to ten minutes, then I open a word document.

Then I write notes.

I tend to write a lot of notes. I write notes about characters. I write notes about the world. I write notes about story scenes that I think would be funny. I write down associations of what I feel the story is like in tone, in technology so that I have a picture to ground myself in so I don’t veer off from my initial vision.

Then, if the story is based in any sort of reality and sometimes if it isn’t, I research.

Research is important. Especially if you are writing a longer series. If you’re writing a story about backpacking in outer Mongolia and meeting a yeti, then it behooves you to research about Mongolia, backpacking and yetis.

And then I write more notes.

I write notes about what I researched. I write story notes about the ideas that the research gave me. I write notes about more scenes because characters won’t stop interacting in my head. And when I’m writing these notes, I get questions that I have to go answer. And sometimes when answering these questions, I actually end up writing a completely different story than I thought I would. But at some point all this note taking has to stop.

Now, I want to emphasize why for me note taking is important. I write notes because I get a lot of ideas all at once. My brain likes to go haring off down rabbit trails on the scents of red herrings. If I don’t write these scenes and ideas down, I’m most likely to forget them. And then I’m banging my forehead later with the palm of my hand going “But that was funny! Argh!” I don’t like banging my forehead with the palm of my hand or going “argh!” So, I write lots of notes. It doesn’t mean that the story won’t change, because, my God in Heaven, it can change drastically. But at least I’ll have the notes to document where things took a twist on me.

Notes are important so you don’t forget things. However, notes don’t mean things are set in stone. You can change the story at any time. (Or the story can change on you depending on your point of view.) Notes give an important framework. They are, in a way, verbalizing the ideas so you can get them out of your head and view them more constructively. Sometimes, the only way to determine if the idea will make a good story is to get it out into words. Once the idea is, in essence, verbalized. Then you can start seeing the strengths and the flaws of it. Once the framework is down, then you can start changing things.

I like to keep my notes and my framework flexible. If I leave room for flexibility, there is room for change and for more stories within the boundary of that framework. As long as I have that framework, that world set, I can jump about anywhere within it and discover something new or someone new.

Once I’ve written all these notes and taken a good hard look at my idea and my framework. Then I have to figure out which question, which core idea is the best idea to work with. Sometimes, the very first idea and story you come up with is not the best place to start the story. So, this is the point where I grab my core idea. What am I building this story around?

This is also a good time to ask yourself, “is this a good story?” I’ll be blunt. Sometimes, you can have the best idea in the world, but it just isn’t going to make a good story. Stories have to have conflict. They have to have change, whether the character is growing or slipping backwards into bad or worse habits. Your characters and setting can be interesting. Without conflict, change, movement and action, it just isn’t going to be a good story no matter how much time you spend on it. The best sense a writer can have before they start writing is the nose or gut for a ‘good story.’ If there isn’t conflict, character growth, action or movement, then this is the place where you step back and take a good hard look at what you’re doing, before you set any words to paper or screen at all. The best time to change things is before you even start. This will save multiple headaches later on when you’re not pounding your head against a brick wall because the story wasn’t working.

Finally, I start writing.

I’ve got my idea. I’ve got my framework. I’ve got the core story I want to tell. I may not know everything about the world and the characters, but I know enough that I can write. So, I write. And I write. And I write some more. And if I get any ideas for other stories or further scenes while I write, I open my notes and write them into my notes and go back to writing the story. See, the key thing here is to get that first draft cranked out! That, and usually I’m so excited at this point that I don’t want to do anything else but write. Some days writing is a chore. Other days it’s “What do you mean I have to eat and sleep and all those other bodily functions? That’s not fair!”

So, I write, until I get the story out of my head and onto the screen. I write until it is finished. The story says what I wanted it to stay.

Then I push back, have an immense feeling of satisfaction, maybe do a little dance of glee. Tell Becca, have her do a dance of glee. Really, when you finish something to completion, you need to take that moment and enjoy it! Writing a novel is a huge amount of work. Rewards are in order!

Usually, so you don’t get burnt out, it’s best to leave the story alone for a while and go work on something else. That might be the next story in the same universe. It might be a different story in a different universe. It might be writing something purely for fun in a writer’s case of mindless self-indulgence.

When I get back to the book, the first thing I do is write a summary of it.

Summarizing is a very important skill. A lot of writers hate to do it. It isn’t easy to take your baby no matter how long it is and condense it into half a dozen sentences. In fact, in fan fiction circles, you have to summarize in maybe one or two sentences. This can be so difficult that a lot of writers won’t even try. (You need a sentence to summarize the overall story, and a sentence to summarize the chapter you are posting.) Summarization is about knowing your core idea and being able to articulate it in a cohesive and concise way. If you don’t know the core idea of your story, you’re never going to be able to summarize. It truly is that simple.

I find summarization really helps to point out if there are any weaknesses to my story. It can help pin point who the main character is and what their conflict is. Sometimes the main character isn’t who I think it is and their main conflict isn’t what I thought it was either. Usually when I summarize I can see right off what I need to go back into the book and change or emphasize.

I read the story again and once again, you guessed it, make notes about where I can add things or things need to be changed. I put in where scenes should be added to make the story more complete.

Then, I go in and I write again. I do my best to address the weaknesses I found when I was writing the summary. I expand on things. I add description. I poke and I prod. When I figure I’ve done as much to it as I can within what I’ve got.

I chapter it. Usually this involves some arbitrary page count, plus or minus 3 pages. If you make the chapters too short, the story starts feeling rushed. If you make the chapters too long, it becomes too much for a reader to wade through. In writing fan fiction I found in the fan fiction writing format which is similar to this blog’s, that ten pages was usually a good average for a reader. Ten pages was usually enough to move the story along at a reasonable clip without making anyone too tired. Twenty pages and the story started to drag and it felt like a slog. The key idea is to keep the reader’s interest long enough so they don’t hit the back button. (And readers can hit the back button, essentially putting down the book for the most minor and craziest things.)

When I chapter the book, sometimes I get lucky and find I did something amusing without realizing it. Other times, there are places where things have gone on too long and need to be broken up. However, if they aren’t breaking up directly in the middle, this gives me a place and opportunity to work more on the main conflict of the story. So, as I’m breaking it up, I am once again, writing notes about what chapters are too long or too short and how many pages I have to alter, add or fix what is going on in the story to address the conflict.

If you haven’t noticed, I am something of a “add more” person. Granted, I don’t like taking things out or ‘killing my darlings’ as much as the next author. That’s painful. I had a reason for that to be in there dang it! I don’t want to take it out. It’s my baby! Ahhhh! As I like to say, there is a method to my madness and it only looks like madness to you because you don’t know where I’m going with it yet. However, I tend to add things rather than subtract them, because you can’t take things out if they aren’t there to begin with! Adding stuff, that’s easy. Taking stuff out, that’s hard. And you can’t take anything out and make it more concise, cohesive or whatever, if you don’t have a lot of stuff in there in the first place. So yes, if I’ve got something in there that I feel isn’t making the story stronger, then I can cut it out and paste it into another document to use later! However, I can’t cut it out, if I never wrote it.

Once I’ve chaptered it. I go back and read the story in chaptered form and focus on where each place the story isn’t fitting into my arbitrary number of pages. What is going on in the story? How can I make it longer? How can I cut the chapter up? Do I have to add more? Does something need to be taken out? What is going on in the story at that minute? Do I expand upon it? Do I subtract and summarize? What will make the story stronger? This is me breaking things up into bits and shining a spotlight on the flaws.

I write more. I try to figure out answers to the questions of “is this really important?” The weaknesses are addressed. The chapters are split up or filled out.

Then I step back, raise my hands and call it done.

You can spend a lot of time and energy constantly fussing or polishing a story. You can go back and change things and “fix” them and fiddle until you’ve fretted and worried yourself to pieces trying to make it perfect. At some point, you have to step back and go ‘enough! Stop fiddling!’ This is another important life skill, knowing when enough is enough. It’s as good as it’s going to get without outside intervention. (If you’re a perfectionist, I can’t help you. Sorry. I gave up on that a long time ago.)

So, yes, it’s finished. There is usually more satisfaction and another dance of glee. Sometimes, I want to order pizza and throw a mini party.

For those of you who didn’t want to read all of that, let me sum up. Idea, notes, research, more notes, write until fingers bleed, finish first draft, dance with glee, go do something else, come back, write summary, read story, write notes, write more story, finish second draft, chapter story, write more notes, write more story, finish third draft, dance with glee.

And once this whole process is done, you get to start over and do it all over again with yet another story. Because it’s not if you can do it once that’s important, it’s if you can do it multiple times! Now, if you’re working in the same universe it can be mildly easier the second time around. Not as much research and possibly not as much note taking. If you’re working with a completely new universe, then yes, the whole process has to start from scratch.

Yes, it is a process. It takes time and how much time depends on how much time I’ve got to devote to it and can focus on the project. This works for me. It might not work for someone else. The idea is to focus on writing as much as possible. If you focus too much on the note taking and constantly organizing your notes, you’re never going to get done. The reader doesn’t care about your research. They don’t care about your notes. They care about the story. The finished product. That’s what they are paying for (or not paying for in the case of fan fiction.) So, the key thing for me is to do things in ‘phases’ so I can focus on churning out that final product.

So, you know, I have an excuse to throw a party. Grin.

[afro-elf]

@farrahda5hy:  Next installment, bitch

this is why y’all don’t have rights, i need you to know this

The next day, as promised, you work on the song that Jordan and Laura already started. Laura insists that the song take a Greek myth-inspired route, hoping to influence a concept for the whole album through the one song. You aren’t mad at the idea; if this song and idea wows Cherisse enough, that’s good news for the three of you.

“So I’ve got a few ideas for lyrics that I’ve been toying with based on the melody that Laura provided,” Jordan starts, “and I think we should really stick with the Eros and Psyche route because I particularly like that story the most.”

“But have you considered Hades and Persephone?” Laura says.

“I know, that’s your favorite,” Jordan says. “I wrote a nice chorus for it, but nothing else is coming to mind here for me. Kendra, what do you think?”

You think for a moment. “I honestly like Eros and Psyche,” you say. “There’s a lot more cute stuff we could run with, if we’re trying to sell a whole concept here. Plus I’m imagining a music video where Cherisse is the Cupid-type and manages to get herself a thick and fine man.”

Your friends approve.

“I want to be there when the music video is shot and I will accept no less than Winston Duke to play the love interest,” Jordan says, their hands folded in prayer.

“Go jump in the lake, you dehydrated bitch,” you tease.

Later that day, the instrumentals are mostly laid out on Garageband thanks to Laura, and you help Jordan start setting lyrics to their appropriate sections, occasionally re-arranging and adding effects to help the song pop more.

“Is this what Black Sabbath felt like when they wrote ‘Paranoid’?” Jordan says when you all decide to wrap up work for the day. “Because damn, we have most of a hit right now.”

“I know!” you say. “This unfolded so organically.”

After dinner, Jordan and Laura decide to hang around the fire pit with some other co-workers. You decide to chill in the cabin and read some unsettling yet sexy vampire stories.

Concentration is made difficult from the sounds of confused guitar strumming outside. You try to ignore it and focus on the vampires, but the guitar persists. Frustrated, you mark your place and close the book, and see outside what is keeping you from Lysander’s creepy yet sexy dialogue.

You poke out of the door and follow the sounds of the intruding instrument. You can’t imagine someone wanting to work this late, especially since most of everyone appears to have turned in and chilled out for the night.

The sounds of uncertain melodies lead you not far from your cabin. You track them to behind the cabin next door and find… Tom. Sitting on the back deck and looking frustrated at his guitar. The lights from the cabin illuminate his unsure expression, seemingly searching for the right notes. The shadows deepen the lines that worry into his forehead.

You want to retreat and leave him be, but as you back away, you step on a stick.

“Dammit,” you whisper to yourself.

Tom perks his head up and sees you trying to back away. “Hey there,” he calls out.

“Hey,” you say, trying to act nonchalant.

“Is my playing bothering you?”

You shake your head. “It’s not a big deal.”

Tom thinks for a second. “Actually, I could use your help, if you don’t mind.”

The voices inside your head implore you to abscond, but instead you walk up and take a seat next to him.

“What are you having trouble with?” you ask.

Tom chuckles.

“So, believe it or not, I’ve been struggling this whole time to come up with anything for Cherisse,” he says.

“No one on your team has anything, either?”

“Believe it or not, it’s just me on my team.”

Your eyes widen. “You weren’t teamed up with anyone?”

He shrugs. “Mum and dad thought I’d do perfectly fine on my own. And, to be fair, I thought so, too, but…”

You think for a second. “Did you have any ideas at all for what to run with?”

“Love song,” he doesn’t hesitate to answer.

You chuckle. “I figured as much, coming from you.”

He smiles back at you. “Everything I’ve been thinking of this whole retreat, however, I’ve been worried is a bit overdone for me, and I don’t want to accidentally start any wars between fans because my song for Cherisse is similar to another one that I wrote for someone else.”

“Good call on that!” You look by him, and see a notebook. “Are those your notes?”

“Yeah.”

“Mind if I see them?”

“Go on ahead,” he says, handing the notebook to you.

You flip through the notebook, littered with hastily-written notes and ideas. Some attempts to create hooks and chords are haphazardly drawn in the pages, but easily abandoned. There’s one page, however, filled to the brim with the most coherently tied together thoughts and ideas, and your eyes stick to it.

You see more ideas for chords and hooks on this page, paired with some lyrics centered around bows and arrows and hearts. While this page has the most cohesive set of ideas, it’s still confused, jumbled, and incomplete. But–

“I like what I see on this page here,” you say, showing him the page in question. “You seem to be attempting some concept with what’s going on here.”

“Thanks,” he says, awkwardly rubbing his hand behind his head. “I scrawled that down yesterday, actually.”

“Yesterday?” you ask.

He nods. “I got hit with a bit of inspiration after we were at the archery range.”

You try to fight the blush that crawls across your face. “Really, now?”

“Yeah, I’ve been trying to integrate Cupid inspiration into the song, but I don’t know how.”

You perk up at that statement.

“That’s really interesting, actually.”

“Yeah?” he asks.

You nod. “My team actually came up with something specifically about Eros and Psyche.”

“So the Greek version instead of the Roman.”

“Yep! Do you know the full story?”

“Kind of, just that Eros is the son of Aphrodite and that he fell in love with Psyche.”

“I think if you played off of what we’re doing, you might have a concept to work with.”

His eyebrows raise at that. “You sure? I wouldn’t want to steal your concept.”

“Think of it more as collaboration.” You smile.

“Could I hear what you have?”

“Sure!”

He follows you to your cabin next door, guitar and notebook in tow. You hope nobody sees this.

You grab the flash drive from Laura’s desk and plug it into your laptop. Tom takes a seat on your bed and you sit next to him.

“So, it’s not completely finished yet, but it’s like, 90% done,” you say.

“Just a quick question before we start,” Tom says.

“Yeah.”

“You’re really a fan of the Lysander series?” he says. You turn to him and see he’s holding up the book you were reading earlier, and you turn bright red.

“Please, Tom, we’re doing work right now,” you say, trying to change the conversation.

“I just say that because I’ve been wanting to read it for a while,” he chuckles.

“Oh?”

“I guess I can hear what you think since you obviously are a woman of taste.” He smirks.

You roll your eyes playfully. “It’s okay, I just happen to enjoy vampire stories a lot.”

“That’s good to know.” Tom smiles.

An awkward air of silence sits between you two before you remember why you’re in here.

“Anyways, um, here’s the song,” you say before pressing play.

Tom’s quiet now, taking in the song. The vision of what this song could bring for Cherisse rolls around in your head for the millionth time that day as the song plays. Especially the potential music video. However, the original vision of the song gets a bit muddied as you watch for Tom’s reaction as he listens. You picture Cherisse and Winston Duke less and less and imagine yourself and Tom more and more as the song continues. You hate yourself and try to kick yourself out of your own thoughts but. Oh wouldn’t it be nice to fall in love to a bop of a song?

Luckily Tom doesn’t know how to read minds, so he can’t see the heathenous thoughts unfold in your brain. It’s still embarrassing though.

The last of the vocals that are currently on the track finish playing through, and you hit the space bar.

“So, that’s what we have so far, as far as lyrics go,” you say, shaking yourself out of the Greek fantasy that you cast yourself into.

“That’s really amazing, I love it,” Tom says. “Who did the vocals on this?”

“Right now, it’s Jordan, because they wrote the lyrics mostly. We’re hoping to get Cherisse to get in here so it can be a complete demo.”

“That’s amazing!”

“We’re really happy with what we’ve done so far.”

“So what I’m gathering from this is basically Cupid, or Eros, falling in love with Psyche and declaring that to her?”

“Basically!”

“If we want to run with this specific kind of theme, what else can we do?”

“Well, I think what would be good, is if you did something about how Momma Aphrodite doesn’t understand and refuses to let them be together, because Psyche’s a mortal, and he’s a god, you know?”

“You know, that might be something awesome indeed. I don’t really know the story that well, though…”

“I can share the story with you, my friend Laura could probably help if she’s willing–”

Speak of the devil and he shall appear; at that moment the door to your cabin opens and your friends enter.

“Oh, thank god, Kendra you still have the lights on,” Laura says a bit loudly.

“We were so worried about having to be quiet and everything,” Jordan says. “I’m a bit tipsy right now and… hello Tom when did you get here?”

“What are you saying Jorda– Oh hey, Tom!”

“Please, guys,” you say, trying to maintain a professional demeanor in front of the cute co-worker on whomst you have a mega-crush.

“Is our girl getting you in trouble?” Jordan slurs a bit. “Because she can– she does that sometimes.”

“Guys,” you assert, “I’m just helping Tom–”

“In your bed?” Jordan slurs.

“What, no–” And in that moment you realize, yeah, in your bed. Tom just chuckles at your rowdy and kind of drunk friends.

“It’s okay, I’m loving it,” Tom says. “Your friends are funny!”

“That’s the problem, you’re encouraging them!”

“But no, seriously, guys,” Tom turns to your friends. “I was happening to have some trouble with my song and Kendra was helping me with that.”

Your friends share an “Ohhh,” of realization.

“I figure if he built off of our concept, we could really sell it,” you say.

“That’s smart,” Jordan says before turning to the bathroom to take off their makeup.

“Hey, Laura, could you help me tell Tom the story of Eros and Psyche, by the way?” you ask.

“I don’t really know it, and…” he trails off.

“Yeah sure,” Laura says. “Can we do that tomorrow, because I’m tired as fuck.”

“Yeah, no problem,” Tom says. “Probably a good idea to turn in myself, anyways.”

“Wanna meet up after lunchtime?” you say.

Tom nods with a smile. “Sounds great.”

Without thinking, he moves in to hug you. And you, without thinking, return the hug. However, when you separate, it is a bit awkward.

“Uhm, good night,” he says before turning to the door. “Good night Laura, good night Jordan!”

“Good night!” they call to him in unison.

Tom smiles at you before closing the door behind him. You release a breath you didn’t realize you were holding before turning to Laura, who is smiling smugly at you.

“Don’t. Say anything.”

“I’m not saying nothing,” Laura says, grin still evilly plastered across her face.

“Oh, but I am,” Jordan pops their head out of the bathroom, rubbing toner onto their face with a cotton pad. “You should have told us you were wrangling your boy in here and we would have slept the hell outside!”

“You didn’t see it Jordan, but they hugged before he left!” Laura says.

“GIRL.”

“Y'all!” you say back. “It wasn’t anything, I promise!”

“It’s okay, you don’t gotta lie to us,” Laura says.

“It wasn’t!” you insist.

“You mean to tell me you had that boy in your bed and you wasn’t planning on nothing?” Jordan says, pulling their hair up.

“I really was just trying to help him write his song!” you say with a pleading voice.

“Oh sure, that’s how it always starts,” Laura teases you.

“Laura!”

“Listen, I believe you,” Jordan says. You sigh with relief. “But that’s still no excuse, you could have made your shot, and you didn’t!”

“You had me in the first half,” you sigh with frustration as you roll your eyes. “Moving on to more important matters, Jordan, you think you can put the rest of the lyrics on the song by lunch time tomorrow?”

“Yeah, no problem.”

“Good, because I want to get a hold of Cherisse so this can be a whole ass demo. Laura!”

“Yes, chief,” she says.

“We’re gonna tell Tom the story of Eros and Psyche tomorrow after lunch, got it?”

She gives a salute in the affirmative. “Look at you, Miss Taking Charge.”

“One of us has to in order to keep our collective two brain cells functioning.”

“I bet Tom likes him a girl who takes charge.”

“Laura, just know, that I know I know where you sleep, and that I have a sword.”

“Not with you, right?”

“Not right now. Just know that when the time comes.”