#but I guess you don't start your life and also I'm 21

[cutieln4]

Matchmaker | LN4

lando norris x fem!reader, background lestappen

summary: you try getting involved in max and charles' love lives, and it turns out they're also trying to get involved in yours

At the age of 21 years old, you joined McLaren after becoming a champion in all the junior categories. This made you the first woman in modern F1, and the first woman in several decades. And if people thought that Lando had a lot of energy, they had not met you yet.

Now that your rookie season was halfway done with, you've learned two important things. 1) Lando was very easy to get along with and 2) Max and Charles were certainly in love. 

There were a couple times when you had been on the podium with them, and of course you loved being on the podium, but having to third wheel that pair would drive anyone insane. 

So, when you got back from the summer break, you decided to make it your mission to get them together. Step 1 was telling Lando about your plans.

"Landooo!" you called out as you saw him walking in the paddock up ahead, running to catch up with him. 

"Hey, Y/n/n," he greeted you with a handshake. 

"I have a plan," you said devilishly. 

"Shit, that can never be good."

"Hey! Hear me out. So, Charles and Max, you know?"

"Who? I've never heard of those people in my life," he said sarcastically. 

"Ooookay, I could do without the attitude, thanks. Anyways, I'm sure you've noticed how in love with each other they are. Like hello? They literally scream 'enemies to lovers' trope. You know what I mean? I just need to find a way to get them to confess their undying love for each other." 

Lando's eyes widened and he looked around, making sure that no one was listening before pulling you to the side.

"Oh—jeez, so, you in?"

"The entire grid has been trying to get them together for years, you think that you'll be able to do it?"

"Yeah, obviously, but I'll need a sidekick that's why I'm telling you, so...?" 

He sighed. "Alright, tell me your ideas."

"Yes!"

"But I'm not your sidekick, we're partners in crime, okay?"

"Sure, sure. Anyways, step 1 of 'el plan' is to just subtly start mentioning Max or Charles when in conversation with the other. Get them in each others brains, you know? Like 'Oh Max was saying how he hopes for rain.'

Then, step 2, we start mentioning things that they've said about each other. 'Hey Max, Charles was saying how he always loves his on track battles with you the most,' stuff like that. Then we have to start interrogating them about their love life so they can hopefully admit their feelings. That's all I got so far."

Lando nodded, deep in thought. "Okay, this could work, this could work."

~~~~~~~~~~

Charles won in Monza, with Max and yourself completing the podium. While you were getting your interview done, the two of them seemed to be locked in their "debrief".

"Am I the only one who's noticed all the chemistry between her and Lando?" Max asked.

"You're definitely not the only one, mate. Being in a press conference with those two is unbearable."

"Ugh, yes, like just kiss already. I'm glad I'm not going crazy. We need to do something about it, get them to confess their feelings."

"I agree," Charles replied, staring into Max's eyes. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Later, they were in the press conference room, waiting for it to start, and Max and Charles were chatting away.

Y/n: MATE

Y/n: HELP

Y/n: I CAN'T TAKE THIS THIRD WHEELING

Landhoe: you can't complain you got a podium

Y/n: i actually can complain, i've suffered too much

Landhoe: you like seeing them together, don't lie. 

You grinned at that, then glanced up from your phone to see Max and Charles looking at you. 

"Who you texting?" Max asked.

"Just Lando," you shrugged, confused as Charles and Max gave each other a look.

"You guys seem to be getting along well, no?" Charles asked. 

"Uh yeah, I guess. It helps that we're both pretty similar."

"Yes, yes, very similar," Max nodded, and you raised your eyebrow, side-eyeing them. 

"Anyway, you guys have anyone special in your life, yet?" you asked.

The smirk on Max's face faltered as he glanced at Charles for a millisecond before looking back to her. 

"No, not yet, mate."

"Me neither," Charles added. 

You hummed. "Hm, okay."

~~~~~~~~~~

In Suzuka, Lando and you were talking while walking towards the driver's parade. 

"So I'm going to talk to Charles and you're going to talk to Max, sounds good?"

"Yup, I know the plan," Lando confirmed. 

"Great, we'll debrief after the race."

You spotted Charles and quickly ran up next to him before someone else could start a conversation with him. 

"Hey, Charlie! Congrats on your podium in Singapore!"

"Thanks, mate."

"Man, it's crazy how fast the season flew by, it seems like just yesterday I was a scared little rookie rolling up in Bahrain. Anyway, I was hoping to get your advice on something," you said, trying not to bring up the topic too suddenly. 

"Yeah, of course, go ahead."

"Okay, well, let's say hypothetically in a situation where you like someone, but you're not sure if they like you back, and you don't want to say anything because it could ruin your friendship and it would be awkward because you have to see them for the majority of the year, what would you do?" you asked, trying to gauge his feelings about potentially confessing his feelings. 

Charles glanced somewhere behind you, and you didn't want to look but you would've bet a million bucks that it was at Max.

"Well, if you're feeling like that person even just maybe likes you back, I say go for it. You wouldn't want to waste precious time that you could be spending together because you were too scared."

"So you're saying that if you like someone, you should just go for it?" you confirmed. 

"Yeah."

"Interesting..." you rubbed your chin, then turned to look at Max behind you. 

Meanwhile, Lando and Max were deep in conversation. 

"What would you think if two of the drivers started dating? Cause some of these people have some real chemistry," Lando asked, trying to seem nonchalant. 

Max shrugged. "I mean, yeah, some of us have known each other since our childhoods. I wouldn't be surprised if some crushes have developed. It's not my business, but I don't mind. It would be interesting, though."

"What about Charles and Pierre?" Lando egged on, waiting for a reaction. 

He watched in satisfaction as Max's eyes turned a shade darker and his jaw clenched. "Nah, I don't see it. But you and Y/n seem to be getting awfully close."

Lando couldn't help the blush that painted his cheeks. He tried to say something but was at a loss for words, mouth gaping like a fish. Max started snickering.

"We're just friends," he finally stuttered out.

"Alright, if you say so."

Lando sighed, turning away in disappointment. That did not go according to plan. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Max won the race, and because the McLaren was good in the high speed corners, Lando finished 2nd and yourself 3rd. 

You and Lando hugged as soon as you got out of your cars.

"Wohoooo! Let's go!" you cheered as you both ran to the fence of McLaren workers. 

You got done with the interview and was the first one in the cooldown room. You had put your helmet down on the platform and was drinking your water. You heard the others entering and turned around, bumping into Lando. 

"Oh, shit!" you exclaimed as you dropped your water bottle. 

You both bent down to grab it, causing your hands to touch and both of you to pause. Lando then grabbed you bottle and you both stood up, staring into each others' eyes for a couple seconds before you snapped out of it and moved to grab your water bottle. 

"Thanks," you said quietly. 

Lando was still looking at you, before quickly saying, "You're welcome."

You noticed Max watching you and the camera on you, so you cleared your throat and moved around Lando to sit on one of the chairs. 

"That was a good overtake, in the beginning," you commented to Max, trying to diffuse the awkwardness. 

Before the conference, Max was quick to get on his phone.

Max: Holy shit, I have so much to tell you about Lando and Y/n

Max: You should come to my hotel room tonight

Max: I think we're in the same hotel

Charles: I have stuff to tell you too. What time?

Max: Does after dinner, 9:00 work? 

Charles: That's perfect

Max: Great, my room is 1633

Charles: See you then ;)

And for some reason Max felt like a giddy schoolgirl at the thought of Charles coming to his hotel room.

You and Lando kept stealing glances at each other whenever the other wasn't looking, and it was so frustrating.

Later, when it was just around 9:00, Max waited (im)patiently for Charles to knock on his door, and he jumped when he finally heard the noise, getting up to let him in. Charles walked in nervously. 

"We can sit on the couch," Max commented, and Charles quickly situated himself on one end, and Max on the other. 

"Ok, you go first," Max urged. 

"Well Y/n came up to me during the driver's parade and she was talking about 'hypothetically' liking something but not doing anything about it because it could ruin their friendship. So of course I told her she should just go for it, and then she looked at Lando."

"Oh my God. Lando came up to me during the driver's parade and asked what I would think if two drivers started dating each other, and I said something about how close him and Y/n were, and he blushed. And then in the cool down room, they bumped into each other which made Y/n drop her water bottle, and when they both reached down to pick it up they touched hands. Then they just stared at each other for like 5 fucking seconds."

"Jesus, what is going on with them."

"I know right, like holy fuck just make out already! I'm sick of their pining."

Max shifted on the couch, causing his foot to touch Charles' leg. 

"Anyway, want to watch a movie?" Max asked, and Charles nodded eagerly. 

And that's how they ended up in the pitch dark, a bowl of microwaved popcorn in between them, some racing movie on the television. 

They both reached for the popcorn at the same time, causing their hands to touch, and both of them snapped their heads to look at each other. 

They stared at each other, eyes flickering down to each other's lips...until the sound of Max's phone ringing caused them both to jump apart. 

"Jesus!" Max exclaimed, quickly silencing his phone, and they reluctantly turned back to the movie, moment ruined. 

~~~~~~~~~~

A couple weeks passed until they were in Qatar. Max and Charles hadn't spoken to each other, and there was minimal communication between you and Lando. 

Max would be starting the race on pole, then Lando, you, and Charles. 

As the race went on, it seemed like that would be the finishing order, until halfway through Max started having braking issues. Lando caught up, overtaking Max for the lead, and you did the same a few laps later. 

The rest of the race, Max had adapted to the issue but still had slow pace because of it, which left him defending against Charles. 

The race ended in that order, Lando taking his first win.

"YEAHHH!!! LET'S FUCKING GO BABY! WOOHOOOOOO!!!" Lando cheered. 

They parked up in front of the podium boards. Lando opened his visor, got out of his car and stood on it, holding up his pointer finger and pumped his fist in celebration, fireworks going off in the background in the dark sky. 

You quickly got out of your car and removed your helmet, going straight to Lando. 

"You did it! You fucking did it! I'm so proud of you!" you told him as you pulled him in for a hug. 

He stared at you for a second when you let go, then immediately removed his helmet, putting a hand on your waist, pulling you closer and connecting your lips together. 

You were stunned for a second, before placing your hand on his cheek and deepening the kiss. Everything around you guys went still, like only the two of you existed. You eventually pulled away and could hear the booming of fireworks, the cheers from the crowd, and the whistles from the McLaren team a few feet away. You both blushed as you came to your senses. 

"I really fucking like you," Lando breathed out, slightly winded from the kiss. 

"I would hope so, after that," you teased, before pulling him in for another kiss. 

Max stood by his team, watching the pair from a far, his jaw dropped. 

"Fucking finally," Max sighed. 

But then he glanced behind him and spotted Charles walking to the FIA garage to get weighed, and an irresistible urge overcame him.

He followed Charles into the garage and grabbed his arm, dragging him behind one of the curtains.

"Did you see that! They finally—"

Charles was cut off as Max crashed their lips together.

"I think I've been wanting to do that for a long time," Max admitted when they pulled away. 

"I've been wanting to do that since I pushed you off the track in karting," Charles smiled, and Max smiled back, kissing him again.

—••—••—••—••—••—••—••—••—••—

a/n: i never intended to publish this anywhere but here i am. i literally never write written romance like this so this is really cringe and i cringed while writing it but enjoy ig. if you have any suggestions though please tell me!!

[daisymbin]

[21:47] - choi seungcheol drabble

a/n: yes I just posted a mingyu fic like an hour or so ago but I'm having svt brainrot today so I might post a few more today idk 🤷‍♀️

requests open!

check out my masterlist!

"so...." seungcheol starts off as his eyes take in the sight of you. he sees your lips in a tiny pout. your eyebrows are slightly furrowed. your eyes are wandering around the living room, looking and glancing over everywhere and everything, except for him & his eyes. he watches as your fingers fidget with each other, no doubt to calm your nerves and probably to help you think.

"what are you so cocky about? that you've won this stupid game and I've lost?" you bit back sulkily. truthfully, you knew you were being a little too harsh considering the fact that seungcheol hasn't made any sarcastic remarks or any jokes & yet, you couldn't help it. it was a defence mechanism you unknowingly put out because as much as you dont want to admit it, seungcheol was right from the start, he's won this game and you've lost.

the back of his hand rests lightly against the soft of your face before turning his hand to let your cheek rest in his palm as he swipes his thumb across them. "told you I'd make you fall in love with me within 2 months." he said softly as he leaned in slightly. your foreheads now touching and you feel his hot breath on you. "it's not fair, you were being so nice and sweet. who could ever resist you? I was doomed from the start." you answer back; softer this time, admitting defeat.

"life isn't fair, princess, besides, isn't this the best bet you've ever lost?" he asked as he cocks an eyebrow at you. you nod at him lightly, "I guess after all those dates, it's only inevitable. aren't you relieved that all the money & time you invested in me gave you the outcome you wanted?" you teased back; holding eye contact. "you know I'd invest twice, hell, even a hundred times all my money and time on you, my love." his free hand came up to stroke your hair soothingly. you giggled at him as you said "to be honest, I have a confession to make."

"what is it, princess?"

"hmm...I may or may not have already been in love with you before we started this whole....bet.." you admitted as you teasingly bat your eyelashes at him, trying to gauge his reaction. you knew he would never be mad or upset at you over this but still, your confession hangs in the air.

"oh really? is that so?" he chuckled. you decided to tease him more seeing that he was taking it well, "why? do you regret wasting all your time and money on me and all those dates?" you hit his shoulder lightly; a faux pretense of being angry. seungcheol only moved his hands to hold onto your wrists tightly, "don't you know that besides time and money, I've also invested all my love on you? all my time, money & love could never be a waste on you. you deserve every bit of it." only then, does seungcheol finally bring your lips together.

[comicwritesstuff]

okay this is so incredibly specific so please feel free to ignore BUT i’ve been wanting to read a fic for ages where the reader is Chase’s childhood best friend from Australia and she moves to New Jersey for a fresh start. She’s staying with Chase while she gets settled, and one day she comes to visit him at lunch at the hospital, where she ends up meeting House and he’s… intrigued by her 👀 either romantic or smut would be so very cool :^D <33 💐

YES. I LOVE THIS PROMPT IM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG BUT IM FINISHED!!!

Gregory House x Fem!Chases bsf!Reader

Warnings: None really, just cussing and tooth rotting fluff >:) 3k+ words.

Chase's POV: 

“Well I was just wondering if we could go out sometime, I think you're really-” My attention shifted as y/n's call lit up my phone, interrupting the conversation. It was a more pressing matter than pursuing a one-night stand.

“Excuse me for a moment.” I say walking away, the woman having an annoyed look on her face. 

I answer the phone.

“Hello, y/n? Whats up” 

“Chase! Long time no talk haha.”

“You called me yesterday.”

“Learn to take a joke, anyways, I have some exciting news for you.”

“I’m moving to New Jersey!!” 

“Wait what? Really?”

“Yeah, I kinda forgot to tell you and i'm actually at the airport right now, so I hope you aren't busy tomorrow so you can pick me up.”

“Wow, um alright, yeah I can pick you up, do you have a place to stay?"

“Um…no…” I sigh, “Just stay at mine for now.”

“Don't even with the sigh i’ve known you my whole life you can put the nightly hookups on hold for your best friend.” 

I smirk and shake my head, “Yeah yeah, I’ll see ya tomorrow y/n” 

Y/N’s POV:

I smile as I hang up with Chase, grabbing my luggage and pulling it along the airport. Ahh yes, crying babies, rushed parents, annoying couples and that one insanely attractive person you see for a split second, I love the airport. 

Glancing at my ticket I realize I might have to hurry to make it to the gate, speed walking I see a text from chase, “Have a safe flight.” Let's hope so. 

Time skip (to lazy to write all the details about fucking airports)

Relaxing on a 21-hour flight proved challenging, especially with a toddler nearby. It was unclear whether the toddler would be a source of annoyance or just be tolerable. The flight just started. So to entertain myself I decide to do some digging about Chase's job, he brags about it all the time and the infamous Dr Gregory House. To be honest I thought Chase was gay for a little while with how much he talks about him. Still speculating. 

The plane lifts off and I start my look, at first just looking up Gregory House, a surprising amount of things show up. An article titled, “Gregory House, Talented Doctor? Or a lying Narcissist?” Oh well that's a good first impression.   

Scrolling down I see another article, “The world's greatest doctor, and his deepest secrets” 

Now that's enticing. I click on it only to find out his deepest secrets, including using 3 in one shampoo and how his leg got hurt. I guess people hardly know anything about him. I click on the photos of him, there's only a couple, most of them blurry but to be honest he's pretty good looking from the photos I can see. I’d honestly be gay for him if I was Chase. 

The toddler next to me starts giggling, I glance at her and notice her staring at a picture of House. She's kicking her feet too. That's so relatable. 

For the rest of the flight I find some stuff about this guy named Taub, who somehow also figured out that he cheated on his wife which is why he had to quit. How did I find that out? I took a coding class in 8th grade. (I got lucky) 

Lisa Cuddy the Dean of Medicine, unfortunately only good stuff about her, boring. 

Remy Hadley, oddly, can't find anything on her. 

Eric Foreman, his brothers in jail, fun. 

And the others are just as boring. For the remainder of the flight, the toddler proved surprisingly chill. I passed the time by binge-watching random movies I had downloaded earlier

*Another time skip to plane landing* 

Finally, 21 hours on a fucking plane is horrible. 

I check my phone after I take it off airplane mode, seeing a text from chase a couple minutes ago. 

“I’m at the airport, is your flight done?”

“Yep, wya.”

“I’m parked in the front.”

“That's specific” 

“There's no other front dumbass”

I roll my eyes at his text, and get off the plane as soon as I can. I walk out and see Chase standing outside his car waiting for me. His eyes light up as he spots me, and a grin spreads across his face. Unable to resist, I rush forward and envelop him in a bear hug.

“Man you’re a lot uglier in person” 

I say jokingly, smirking.

“Oh shut up”  

We climbed into his car, and he drove us back to his apartment. When we arrive he helps get my crap into the house, before he gets a call saying he had to head to work. 

Eventually a week or two passes, I've gotten more comfortable in his apartment, applied for a bunch of jobs, and looked for places to stay so I’m not invading his “man” space anymore. Unfortunately there aren't a lot of options, and no jobs have replied to my applications, which is weird since im overqualified, it's almost like they aren’t even getting my applications in the first place. 

I’m doing the dishes when I get a text from Chase.

“Hey, I left my wallet on the counter, so I don’t have money for food, could ya bring it for me?” 

“Nah”

“See you soon”

I breathe out a laugh and grab his wallet, putting a coat on then driving to the hospital. 

When I get there I walk in, looking around before I call Chase, “Where do I go this place is huge” I can hear talking in the background, actually more like arguing. “Uhm just wait at the entrance i’ll be right there.” He says in a whisper.

He hangs up so I just stand there awkwardly waiting, that was a weird ass phone call. To be fair Chase is a weird ass guy with weird ass coworkers so what do I expect at this point. 

Before I see Chase I see Dr Gregory House, limping quickly towards me. And damn he’s even hotter in person than the pictures I saw of him. 

“Hey, no time to explain, you need to come with me.” He grabs my arm dragging me into the elevator. Before it closes I see Chase come out of the stairway, he sprints towards the elevator but it closes. I hear him trying to say something, but it's muffled and I can’t understand it. Wait why the fuck did I even follow House? 

“You're real compliant, you’d make a great hooker.” 

I turn around and side eye him.

“Thanks, so would you.” I say giving a fake smile. 

“Speaking of compliant, why did you drag me away from Chase? What's going on?’’

“I made a bet with Chase.”

“That's really specific and helpful thanks” 

“Oh yeah no problem” 

Sarcastic asshole. 

“If you don’t tell me, I'll stop following you and go with Chase.” 

He rolls his eyes.

“Fine, Mom! The bet is that I can convince you to work as my assistant here.”

“Really? That's it? I need a job. Why would Chase even bet against that?” 

“He thinks you’ll fall in love with me so he doesn’t want that to happen, in his words, “She has a thing for homeless looking, narcissistic assholes with beards.” So he’s trying to prevent it, and he’s sure he can.”  

Damn- I feel so called out. I stay silent before nodding.

“Well to be honest he isn’t wrong.” 

I see House smirk before we get out of the elevator, he hobbles and leads me to his office, locking the door then having me sit down. 

As I sit down in front of his desk, he grabs a ball and starts throwing it against the wall, while sitting down. 

“So are you gonna interview me or something?” 

“Yeah, I’m just waiting for Chase to get back up here so he can watch me interview you.” 

He really is an asshole…it's kinda hot though. 

“Fair enough.” 

We wait a bit before Chase comes jogging up to the door, out of breath, he’s clearly been running plenty. He starts banging on the glass door that House previously locked.

“House!! Y/N! Let me in! This isn’t fair!” He exclaims, House is grinning when he leans over his desk, crossing his arms.

“Okay! Let’s start this interview now.” 

“Y/n! You traitor!” 

Did I abandon my childhood best friend for some disabled doctor? No, I did it for the job. At least that's what I'm telling myself.   

Turning my attention back to House instead of the Australian cry baby outside the door, he asks me, “First question, do you want the job of being my assistant?” 

“Obviously”

“Great! You have the job!” 

I mean, easy enough. I smile and shake my head. This hospital really has some unique people. 

House shakes my hand, grinning as Chase is sitting on the floor defeated outside. 

As the days turned into weeks at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, I got to know everyone. Cuddy had to actually approve of me working as House’s assistant first, but once she saw a…normal enough individual, she welcomed me into the environment.

Getting to know House better, I found myself drawn to him in ways I hadn’t really expected. The bet between House and Chase, Chase thinking I would fall for House, I took it as a joke, until that joke turned more into reality. 

Despite House being a narcissistic piece of shit, there were small moments that I saw, or shared with him that made me fall for him. Ones where he seemed happy, or just easy to be around. At work he's serious but when Wilson dragged him out to bars, or other social environments, he could actually be fun. And though him being a dick is undeniably attractive sometimes, when he was…”himself” that's how I began to fall for him.  

One day, after an especially tough day for the team, and being forced to go break into houses and get coffee and food, I found myself alone with House in his office. The rest of the team had left, leaving us in a rare moment alone with each other. As I glanced up from the medical chart of the most recent patient, I caught House’s gaze lingering on me, his blue eyes intense and unreadable. 

“Something on your mind, House?” I asked, attempting to break the awkward silence between us. 

He smirked, leaning back in his chair with a casual ease, “Oh just wondering why a catch like yourself doesn’t have a boyfriend, or husband?” He responds, his tone laced with flirtatiousness.

I couldn’t help but chuckle at his response, a faint blush on my cheeks. House and I had gained an uncanny camaraderie, made from me running around doing everyone's paperwork, being the designated “you get to tell patients they are dying!!” person. And as you’d expect people didn’t respect me a lot, but if someone was blatantly mean to me, House would step in and destroy their self esteem in a second and walk away like it meant nothing. That's another thing that I think made me fall for him. 

“Believe me, I’ve been asking myself that a lot too.” I smile, placing the medical chart on his desk. 

“Do you want a boyfriend? Or girlfriend, or a pet or something.” He quips, his eyes looking like they are reading me, studying my every movement and reaction to what he’s saying, it's flattering and uncomfortable at the same time. 

“A boyfriend would be nice.” I say reassuringly, a laugh escaping me as I shake my head in amusement.

“Alright let's say *hypothetically* I asked you out. *hypothetically* what would your response be?” 

Raising an eyebrow I ask, “Are you trying to go on a date with me?”

“I said hypothetically, now answer the question.” 

A smirk plays on my lips as I roll my eyes in a mock annoyance. 

“Well.” I say, “Hypothetically, I would say yes.” 

“Great, meet me for dinner at (some random fancy place idk u make up a name i'm too lazy to), wear something cute.” 

 With that, he sauntered out of the office, leaving me to think about what just happened. Glancing at the clock, I realized I had just enough time to get ready for our “hypothetical date.” 

The anticipation bubbled within me, standing outside (IDK A RESTAURANT NAME IT), waiting for House to arrive. My heart raced with nervous excitement, unsure what to expect from a…unique…guy like House. I had used all the time I had to work on my outfit, settling for a simple dress (or suit, or just anything you're comfy in :) ). 

As I scanned the busy street, searching for any sign of House, I heard the obnoxiously loud sound of a motorcycle approaching. House rode in, parking his bike before getting off and walking (limping) towards me. My breath caught in my throat as I saw him, he looked impossibly handsome, in a tailored suit that made his rugged charm come out, good god he looked fine. 

“Y/n,” he greeted with a warm smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners in genuine affection. “That outfit makes your ass look nice.” 

I scoff playfully, hitting his arm. “So much for acting like a gentleman, at least you look like one.” 

He chuckled, offering me his arm in a more gentlemanly gesture. “Yeah yeah, shall we?” 

With a nod, I looped my arm through his, savoring the warmth of his touch as we mad our way into the restaurant. The ambiance was elegant and inviting, with a soft candlelight casting a warm glow over the decor. 

As we were seated at a table in a quiet corner of the restaurant, I couldn’t help but feel a flutter of excitement in my chest. I’m finally going out with House, damn Chase was totally right. 

Throughout the evening, our conversation flowed surprisingly easily between us. I had half expected him to be rude or stuck up, but he seemed actually interested in me, in my life. He was asking questions, laughing and joking with me. Sharing stories of his own, and treating me like an actual human. Honestly it was scaring me a bit, but it was making me fall harder for him. 

House raised an eyebrow, a playful glint in his eyes. ‘So, tell my Y/N. What’s the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you?” 

I laughed, shaking my head as I thought about the memory. “Well, there was this one time in college-” 

“Let me guess,” House interrupted, a smirk playing on his lips. “It involved copious amounts of alcohol and very questionable decisions?” 

I chuckle and nod in agreement. “You could say that. Long story short, I ended up streaking through the campus fountain at three in the morning. I'm pretty sure Chase might still have a video of it still.”

House raises an eyebrow, an amused laugh coming from him. “I wish I could say I was surprised, oh and also. I am finding that video.” He states, with a determined and mischievous grin. 

The dinner continues and our connection just seems to get stronger, fueled by shared laughter, stories of shit Wilson and him did in college, things Chase and I did in highschool. With each passing moment, I found myself more and more under House’s spell, captivated by the complexity of himself, his character. His gaze, laughter, even his personality. Maybe it was the wine or something, but House was being nice, he had charisma, and was being attractive in general.  

I don’t even realize that we’ve spent almost three hours in the restaurant just talking. I check my phone seeing that it's 9:30 already. We had got and paid the check awhile ago, but had stayed to talk longer. The restaurant closes at 10, and I felt a sudden pang of disappointment that our date was close to being over with. I didn’t want it to end, I was savoring this moment I was having, this seemingly perfect night. 

When the waiter arrived to take our dessert order, I couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment that the evening was drawing to a close. I wasn't ready for it to end—I wanted to savor every moment, to prolong the magic of our time together for as long as possible.

House notices my look of disappointment, “I’m aware how amazing I am, but if its up to me, this won’t be our last date.” 

A smile tugs at the corners of my mouth, my cheeks heating up as I blush. The butterflies in my stomach going absolutely insane. 

So with a quick glance around the restaurant, I rose from my seat, House grabbed my hand as he led me towards the exit. 

Stepping out into the cool night air, I felt a sense of happiness coursing through me. This was it, the beginning of a new relationship, a surprisingly healthy one so far. 

As House’s hand tightened around mine, his touch sent sparks of electricity coursing through my veins. I knew now that maybe Chase knows me better than I know myself, in all fairness he predicted this, but right now I wasn’t afraid to admit this, to admit the undeniable attraction that I had towards Dr Gregory House. 

His touch leaves mine, his hand pulling as we stand in front of the restaurant, close to each other, staring in each other's eyes. I glance at his lips before leaning in, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, not sure if he expected it, but I pull back.

“Goodnight House. I’ll see you tomorrow.” And with that I walk away, to my car. When I get in my car, I look in the mirror, seeing House standing there with a lovestruck grin, one a child would have over some school crush. But it was cute, he was cute. And this was just the beginning of an annoyingly predicated relationship with a Vicodin addicted, asshole, who I suspect has a soft spot for me.

[genderqueerdykes]

I (21 AFAB) honestly feel like my femininity is more like transfemininity than cisfemininity. I'm autistic and intersex(ish? I've got hypoestrogenism) and spent a lot of my life (10 to 20) identifying as transmasculine. I've had top surgery and I was on testosterone around 3 years. I was cis male passing at 14 and 15, and again at 19 through...uhh... now sorta. I still pass as a young man (although people might think I'm a trans boymoder) if I speak in "guy" voice. I'm seen as female enough to not have any issues in women's restrooms since I started using them, but I stay quiet and use the men's room if I look too masc. I identify I guess as a girl, but not as a cisgender one, and not in the way that a binary woman would call herself one. I also identify as androgynous (or an androgyne). I'm submitting this ask sort of hoping that it makes sense how I feel connected to transfemininity and not cisfemininity. I'm also wondering if anyone else feels the same?

heya! that's actually almost exactly my experience, and many other peoples'. i've been wanting to explain this for a really long time so i hope this will make sense

often times when someone afab or transmasculine transitions and either pauses or stays on a lowish dose of T, our genders get garbled in the eyes of strangers. i don't know how to say it any other way than: often times when trans people who have taken testosterone for long enough have gotten deep voices, 'masc' faces, facial hair, etc. are dressed in a feminine way they will get read as a transfeminine person. like this is an extremely common phenomenon

we instantly become fags and "those type of girls". like it really doesn't take much for queerphobes to perk up. a little 'gay/tranny voice'. a little too limp wristed. when they see strong jaws, Adam's apples, strong cheekbones, and long hair they assume MtF. if the trans person is packing or had phallo things can escalate further, especially if they have breasts.

it's poetic and a bit silly but sometimes people's experiences are so deviated from the standard definition of "man" "male" "female" "woman" that they have to, in a way, transition into that identity for the first time. a lot of intersex people, poc, gender non conforming, people, gay folks, non binary people, lesbians and butches have gotten heavily misgendered as children. sometimes you just were not allowed to be that gender you were assigned at first and it's okay if you feel you're transitioning into that, especially given where you're coming from and where you're headed

i identify as transfemme for many reasons, but this is one of them. i was NOT allowed to be a girl as a child. i was deemed too masc. my nose was too big. my hooded eyes were too masc. i didn't wear flowery or feminine clothing. i acted like a boy. i had a very shitty haircut because my hair was causing me dysphoria. my mom kept calling me butch and a bulldyke. nobody saw me as a girl. i never was one until i transitioned into womanhood as an adult. there i found out i love being a butch woman- but i've had to fight for it.

i also use androgynous and androgyne :)

it's okay if you feel like youre headed on that path. i have met so many people who fall under this umbrella of experiences. many people use transfemasc or transmascfem, some people just call themselves whatever. folks who feel the same feel free to share input. thanks for stopping by, let us know if you need anything else

[bloggingboutburgers]

I admire you so much for being able to share your experiences as an aro ace. It’s so funny, because most of my community knows I’m aro ace, but like, I’m so scared of sharing my personal experience and I think it’s because of how much it hurts to think of that part of my life.

The number of years I spent thinking I was broken because I didn’t feel any kind of attraction to others, forcing myself to date in the hopes that it would “just click” like people kept telling me, getting stressed and mentally distraught when I tried to force myself to show any sort of affection… It’s a hard thing for me to relive a lot of that. I very distinctly remember trying to kiss a guy I was dating that I didn’t want to kiss, but felt I needed to. I spiraled into such a bad panic attack that I drove two hours in a terrible blizzard just so I could get back home to what I felt was a safe place.

I think the hardest part for me was people not understanding my aro ace-ness. The difficulties of simply having a male friend around and having to listen to people constantly ask me if I have a crush on them, then acting as if I’m being coy when I say no (even though there’s no indication of that in my voice). I started dreading inviting my friend to events for that specific reason.

When I did try to date, all it did was add more stress to my life. I was constantly expected to be spending every free moment I had with these guys, and I didn’t want to do that. I don’t think it clicked with my family until I broke down in a hysterical sob one day because of how much guilt-tripping was being done to me when I told them I didn’t want to hang out with him.

And the icing on the cake… the number of times I’ve been told to find a partner because “they don’t want me to reach 50 and be alone and miserable.” To be told that romance is the only way you’ll find true happiness… it’s painful. To be told that the things that bring you joy are not true happiness, that your platonic relationships mean nothing in the grand scheme of things… it hurts far more than anyone realizes.

I should probably stop here, ‘cause I’m getting all choked up, but I guess the bottom line is, thank you so much for sharing your experience and making me feel validated. It means so much to me. Keep being awesome, my friend 💕

I'm so sorry for all the hardships... I recognize myself so much in a lot of what you're sharing. I hate in particular that people act like "ending up alone and miserable" is 100% on you, like THEY don't have a say in that and a role to play in that and they're not basically actively contributing to that alienation RIGHT NOW. If people cared about anything beyond a sexual or romantic partner and kids, if people remembered that friendship is a thing and it's a thing that oughta matter, that would solve the problem much better than forcing everyone to conform against their will.

The only reason I feel comfortable enough to say I'm aroace at this point is because one day when I was 21, a girl I told it to just replied "Oh, okay", which was the first time in my life I ever got a reply like this and not a slew of questions or dismissal. That made my brain explode. In a good way. I'll always be grateful for her, she probably will never know how much. She opened up the door for me to be vocal about myself more confidently and build the invaluable support system of friends, and my partner, and my family, that I have today, and that in turn works as a virtuous circle.

And the only reason I feel comfortable sharing it in the form of comics now is because I did once in 2022 during asexual awareness week just to try some vent art for fun, and people didn't ignore it, or didn't dismiss it, but actually reacted positively to it. That encouraged me to make more. The reason I'm this comfortable and vocal about it online today is thanks to you guys here reading this. Having a positive reaction to what IS pretty much vent art disguised as comedy also shows me I'm not alone. This whole thing is mutual. So thank YOU, and thanks to anyone reading my stuff, for also making me feel validated.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hey, this is the same 14 year old from earlier. first, i want to thank you so much for such a well rounded, thoughtful response. i went through all the resources and they were all very helpful. after thinking about it, i think i probably won't do this after all. technically i think i am ready, i understand the possible consequences, i know how to be safe, etc etc, but i'm just kind of anxious. and it might be a better idea to wait to do things like this with someone i actually have romantic feelings towards, because i'll probably enjoy it more then, right? i'm not exactly sure why i agreed to do it in the first place, i guess curiosity or for the sake of formative teenage experiences or literally just "why not" lmao. i do have one more question if that's alright, do you know of a good way to tell her that i don't really want to do this anymore? we haven't set up an actual date and time yet but she's serious about it and i was serious about it but obviously my opinion has changed. i feel kind of guilty about backing out especially because she kinda wanted this as a rebound after breaking up with her girlfriend of like, six years (which means it might be good if we don't do this anyway, this might be an impulsive decision on her part that she ends up regretting).

also one more question (sorry) if you have the time and energy for it. i know there's a lot of people asking you questions haha. how would you get an STI or STD through oral sex? i understand the basics, its spread through genital fluids and gets into your body that way, but how would the symptoms start showing in your own genitals? or would they not and just show up in your mouth or throat? the planned parenthood link kind of talked about that, but it said that it was rare. anyway thank you so much! you've been genuinely so helpful and kind and i appreciate it so much!

hello! welcome back! it's great to hear from you again, and I'm glad that response was helpful. it's awesome that you were able to weigh all the available information to make that decision. you'll have plenty of other opportunities for formative teenage experiences, very few of which have to involve sex at all - I'd be a bad sex witch if I didn't tell you that I didn't have sex with another person for the first time until I was almost 21!

cancelling this plan with your friend might feel awkward, but it doesn't need to be worse than dipping out of any other activity. "hey, I think I changed my mind about wanting to see this movie; I don't really think I'm going to vibe with it. thank you for inviting me, though!" 'I'm actually not feeling up to going to the game, but I hope you can find someone else to go with." "sorry to change our plans, but I think having sex actually isn't something I want to do right now. thanks for being understanding."

this may hurt your friend's feelings; it can often feel extremely personal and hurtful when someone doesn't reciprocate an interest in sex, and feel much worse than someone saying no to other kinds of plans. this may be especially true if you're right about your friend trying to rebound from a previous relationship - six years is a long relationship for anyone, especially someone for whom six years is almost half of their life, and there's a good chance she's still feeling sore from the loss of that relationship and is seeking comfort and validation from another source (you). good on you for being insightful enough to notice this and recognize this! that's an important trait to have, both as a friend and in your future romantic and sexual relationships.

if your friend doesn't take it well when you change your mind, you may need to get a little space from her while her feelings cool off. remember, while you should be kind when you say no - obviously nothing like "I wouldn't want to have sex with you, you're gross and just rebounding" - you're not doing anything wrong at all by changing your mind, and if your friend starts trying to pester you into changing your mind or acting more harshly to you, we've definitely crossed into the territory where she's the asshole. (not that you're the asshole for saying no; nobody is the asshole in that scenario.) if she takes it poorly, it's okay to ask her for some distance and spend less time around her until the hurt feelings are mended.

remember: you don't need to feel guilty for changing your mind. you are always allowed to do that, even if you're in the middle of having sex. you don't owe anyone else access to your body, ever, and anyone who tries to convince you otherwise can go straight into the trash.

and please don't ever feel the need to apologize for asking about STIs, they're one of my favorite things to talk about!

for many STIs that can be transmitted to the mouth, the symptoms will stay in the mouth and/or throat. sometimes that will look like sores or blisters in or around the mouth, which are sometimes painful and ooze discharge and sometimes don't feel like anything at all. it can also feel like an ordinary cold, with a sore throat and some difficulty swallowing. in most cases, the symptoms won't spread to your genitals unless you also contracted the STI there as well - for instance, if you touched your mouth and tongue to an infected partner's genitals and then also touched your genitals to theirs as well. but while the symptoms looks different, the medicines that treat STIs affecting the genitals are just as effective at clearing up infections in the mouth and throat.

I'm super happy to help, and please know you can send in more asks any time :)

[wishmaster]

My friend enthusiastically gifted me a men's leather jacket earlier, which I thought was weird because I never wear that kinda thing, I'm usually more the casual hoodie, t-shirt and jeans type. It's also like a few sizes too big so he was really off the mark... but I'd feel bad giving it away. I noticed it's your wishmaster brand, never heard of it before, and I guess I wanted to ask if returns are possible? oh but of course I don't have the receipt... I guess I can try it on?

Once you slip it on you feel electricity shooting through your body. Suddenly you see your body enlarge, your muscles grow, your ass expand to a perfect firm peach. Your skin begins to darken as you suddenly remember your dad used to be a famous African American wrestler, he met your Asian mother while on tour and after you were born he started to train you, by the time you were 17 you were already shaping up to be a muscle god. Today you turn 21 and fuck you are perfection. Your best friend gave you the leather jacket to show off that perfect form of yours.

You were perfection, not just to the world, but to your best friend who had always dreamed of you looking this Amazing. Tonight you planed on thanking him by giving him the one thing you know he's always wanted. The best sex of his life, after you fuck him good you plan on popping the question, sealing your longtime friendship in stone. However once you fill your friend up with your cum he transforms into your perfect man as well.

As they say you guys lived happily ever after, another happy ending via Wishmaster clothing. Where everyone gets what they want.

[thebisexualdogdad]

Dick Grayson x Male!reader dating headcanons

*Yoshi Sudarso used as a fancast*

● you had known Dick since you were kids

● your father was a work friend of Bruce's so when Bruce adopted Dick he introduced you hoping that having a friend his age would help Dick adjust to his new life

● little did he know that the two of you would grow up and fall in love

● you started dating when you were 16

● found out about his secret identity at 19

● and moved in together at 21

● him coming home all beat up

● he taught you how to give him stitches when he's in too much pain to do it himself

● and he taught you how to defend yourself after you got mugged

● "you're getting pretty good at this," he says as you have him pinned to the training mat

● "watch out Dick, Gotham may have a new vigilante on its hands"

● "don't get ahead of yourself babe it takes more than a few self defense moves to be a vigilante"

● "Guess I'll just enjoy this view of you being underneath me instead"

● you were ecstatic when he brought Haley home

● "Y/N may I present to you the newest member of our family"

● "Oh my god Dick she's adorable what's her name?"

● "what do you think about the name Haley"

● "I love it, welcome home Haley"

● you absolutely spoil her rotten

● sneaking her people food when Dick isn't looking

● he pretends not to notice because he's happy that you love her as much as he does

● Haley loves when Barbara comes over to hang out cause she gets twice as many treats and cuddles

● going for long walks with Dick and Haley

● not being surprised anymore when he has to run off because he hears a crime happening down the street

● "I'll see you and Haley back at home! If I'm not too late I'll bring home sandwiches from the bodega!"

● Dick coming to your work to have lunch together

● "you were out all night aren't you tired?"

● "extremely but I promised you we'd have lunch today and I always keep my promises"

● Dick is the person that falls asleep the moment you put a movie on

● and when he wakes up he googles the highlights so he can pretend like he watched it

● "So what did you think?"

● "Oh yeah I loved it," slyly looking down at his phone, "especially the part where *insert random scene description here*"

● Tim went to Dick first for advice on how to ask out Bernad on a date

● "well how did you ask Y/N?"

● "I didn't, he asked me out"

● "you're no help where is Y/N he'll know what to do"

● you end up going on a double date with them so Tim is less nervous

● it goes great so double dates become a regular thing

● you don't see Jason as often, he just kind of shows up at your apartment sometimes

● "Jason what are you doing here?"

● "it's been a while and I was in the neighborhood so I thought I'd stop by"

● "you just want me to cook you dinner don't you"

● "Hey… I'm also here for Haley"

● and he usually has some kind of wound he hasn't properly cleaned up so he gets blood all over your furniture

● "Dick, please tell your brother to try and keep the bleeding to a minimum next time, I have to do enough bloody laundry for you as it is"

● one time Nightwing saved you from a killer croc attack at your work

● "thanks for the rescue Nightwing"

● "you're very welcome handsome stranger, maybe I'll have the pleasure of saving you again sometime"

● your co worker comes up to you when Nightwing leaves "dude nightwing was totally just flirting with you"

● "you think so? I wonder what it's like to date a superhero" you say with a sly smile

[canirove]

Rice, Rice, baby | Chapter 21

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

Declan's pov

❃ Flashback to the day after the lionesses game and his chocolate cake date with Liv (chapter 5)

“I want all the details. Now.”

“Hello to you too, Jordan. Please come in” I say after my brother storms into my house.

“Details” he repeats once we are in the living room, sitting on the sofa and patting the spot next to him.

“Details about what?” I ask, sitting down.

“The girl you dumped your beloved brothers for. What's her name? How did you meet? When did you meet? Is she hot?” he smirks, making me roll my eyes.

“Her name is Olivia, though everyone calls her Liv, and we met a couple of months ago when I was with the national team.”

“Oh, Olivia. What a lovely name” Jordan smiles. “But you met when you were with England? How? You aren't allowed to go out.”

“She works as a barista in the cafeteria at Tottenham training centre.”

“Wait, she is a Tottenham girl?” he gasps.

“Yes and no. She works for them, but she isn't into football that much. Her dad, on the other hand… He also works for them, he's part of the medical team, and he is a huge fan who apparently hates anything Arsenal.”

“Wow” he chuckles. “You are like a modern Romeo and Juliet.”

“Let's hope no one dies, tho.”

“Yeah…” Jordan smiles. “Do you like her?”

“I… I do, yes” I confess.

“And you like her a lot, don't you? Because your face right now is turning bright red, little bro” he laughs.

“Yeah” I nod. 

“Does she like you back?”

“She blushes a lot when we are together and gets all nervous, which is really cute” I smile. “And we've made out a couple of times, so I guess she likes me back.”

“Oh, Declan” Jordan laughs again. “I think you do more than like this girl.”

“What?”

“You should see your face right now talking about her. I think I've only seen you smile like that when talking about football and you love it, which can only mean one thing: you are falling in love with her, Dec.”

“I'm not falling in love with Liv, don't be silly” I say with a nervous laugh. “I just met her.”

“And?”

“And you don't fall in love with someone after a couple of dates and some kisses even if those kisses have been the best of your life and have made you feel things you've never felt before.”

“Declan…”

“And yes, she's great. She's funny, and sweet, very clever, and a lot more beautiful than she thinks she is. And when I'm with her I feel like I can truly be myself. Just Declan, the boy from Kingston, not the football player. But you don't fall in love that fast, that only happens in movies.”

“Well, I did” he shrugs. “And everything you just said proves my point and confirms it. That, and the fact that you haven't slept with her yet. Because you haven't, have you?”

“No.” I've just thought about it. A lot. Especially since our date after the game. Who knew seeing someone eat cake could be so sexy and… erotic. 

“Then there you have it. Because you usually don't waste your time” Jordan smirks.

“That's not true” I say, crossing my arms over my chest.

“It is, Declan. We all know it is” he says. “But now you are taking things slow because you want to do it right with this girl. Because you truly like her, you don't see her as a fling. So here comes my next piece of advice…”

“Jordan…”

“Don't fuck it up.”

“What?” I laugh.

“Don't fuck it up, Declan. Or have you forgotten what you did with Sarah?”

“I…” I fucked up. Big time. I got scared because I had started to feel things for her, things that were more than just a physical attraction, and… “That's not going to happen with Liv.”

“It better not, Declan. It better not.”

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

❃ A few days after those photos in Ibiza and Liv's visit… or after Declan did fuck it up (chapters 13 & 14)

“Declan, time to get up” Jordan says.

“No.”

“The preseason is about to start, you need to get out of bed and start training” Connor adds.

“I don't want to” I say, covering my head with my duvet.

“Declan…” Jordan sighs.

“Leave me alone!” 

“We are your older brothers. We can't leave you alone.”

“But it is what I want!”

“Ok, fine” Connor says. “One, two…” I hear him whisper.

“What the fuck!” I yell when one of them throws the duvet away and the other dumps a bucket of freezing water in my head. “Are you out of your fucking mind?”

“Maybe” Jordan shrugs. “But we needed to do something to stop all this moping and get you out of bed.” 

“Like, we get it, Declan. You fucked up, and big time.”

“Big time was what I did with Sarah. What I've done to Liv is… is… urgh” I groan, letting myself fall on the very wet bed.

There are no words to describe what I have done to Liv. The way she looked at me the other day… I think I will never forget it. It will be engraved in my brain forever. And I will never forgive myself for hurting her like that. But I deserve it. I deserve her hate and all the bad things I'm sure she's thinking and saying about me.

“I still don't understand why you did it, tho. Why did you cheat on her? Don't you love her?” Connor asks me.

“I do.”

“Then?”

“Then that's the problem!” I say, sitting up. “That I love her! That I'm madly in love with her, and that scares the hell out of me because I'm a coward!”

“Love is scary, Dec” Jordan says, sitting on the bed next to me and avoiding the wet patch. “But it also is the most wonderful feeling.”

“I know, Jordan. I know. Because I've experienced that with Liv. She's the first girl I've felt that with. And every time I've lived one of those moments of extreme happiness with her, where I've felt like I'm in cloud nine, I've ended up fucking things up and treating her like shit.”

“What do you mean?” Connor asks, sitting on the other side of the bed.

“I've… I… I've basically ghosted her.”

“In English, please.”

“It means that every time something good has happened between us, something important, I've freaked out because I'm a coward and ignored her. She would text me and I would leave her on read or reply with a vague answer. Or she would call me to facetime and I would ignore her and then not call her back.”

“That's…”

“That's being a jerk. Say it, it's the truth” I shrug. “And then, to make things even worse, I would come back as if nothing had happened and with a bunch of excuses because I was feeling guilty and as an idiot for sabotaging our relationship, and do something big and romantic for her to try and make up for it. Like when I took her to Paris for her birthday after basically ignoring her on the actual day. But then, of course, something will happen that would make me realize that I was even more in love with her than I thought, I would freak out again, and fuck things up.”

“And that's what happened this summer.”

“Yes” I sigh. “Things were so good between us… So good. She was the first thing I would think of in the morning when I woke up and the last before falling asleep at night. After training or a game, she was the first person I wanted to talk to, and just thinking about her put a stupid smile on my face. And when I would see you with your wives and the kids, I… I…”

“You?” Jordan asks me.

“I would see myself having that life with Liv” I confess. “She's the one I want to marry and start a family with and love for the rest of my life. She's the one.”

“And that realization made you freak out so much that you spent your summer looking for the best way to sabotage it all until you found it in Ibiza.”

“Yeah” I sigh again. “I… Why am I like this? Why do I do this to myself? To her?” I cry, furiously wiping away my tears. “I love Liv. I love her like I've never loved anyone before. I want to be with her and only her. But now I've ruined it all. She will never forgive me for what I've done, which she is in her right to, and she will hate me for the rest of her life. I could see it on her face, on the way she looked at me the other day. I broke her heart and hurt her so bad, and I hate myself so much for it. So fucking much! I just… why am I like this?” I yell, hitting the bed. “Why?”

“Dec… Declan…” Jordan says, taking my hand on his.

“Why am I like this?” I cry again, looking at him. “Why did I ruin the best thing in my life?”

“Sometimes, we… I…”

“We are humans, Declan” Connor says, putting a hand on my shoulder. “We all make mistakes, it's in our nature. Some of those mistakes are bigger than others, but…”

“This can be fixed” Jordan says.

“Fixed?” I laugh. “How?”

“You need to talk with Liv and explain everything to her. Tell her how you feel, tell her what you feel for her.”

“She doesn't want to see me, Jordan. She made it very clear after crossing my face. I'm like dead to her.”

“But she still loves you, Declan. That doesn't go away that fast even if you've hurt her the way you have.”

“And even if she doesn't forget you, which we all agree she's in her right to… Telling her may help you forgive yourself. And maybe, one day, once you've fixed all those insecurities and self sabotaging… You can give each other another chance” Connor says.

“You think so?”

“I mean, it's worth trying” Connor shrugs.

“But how am I going to tell her all this if she doesn't want to see me? I'm pretty sure she's blocked me everywhere, and I can't show up at her house. If she doesn't kill me, her dad will.”

“You could also meet with her after work” Jordan suggests. 

“I can't go to Tottenham training centre just like that. I'm the enemy, remember? And that would make people start gossiping.”

“What if you ask Madders for help?”

“No, not him” I say. “He's probably going through enough already with being caught in the middle of all this, I don't want to make things worse for him. Liv loves him like a brother.”

“Then…”

“Then there is nothing to do” I sigh. “I fucked up, and Liv will hate me forever.” 

“Wait!” Jordan says after a few seconds in silence. “The national team!”

“What about it?”

“You are playing two games in October, and you will probably stay at Tottenham training centre, right? That's your chance, Declan!”

“If she knows I'm going she'll probably say that she's sick to not see me.”

“Or not” Connor says. 

“Dec, this can be it. You have to stay positive!”

“That's easy to say when the woman you love doesn't despise you” I say, letting myself fall on the bed again. “Was the bucket of water really necessary?”

“It was. And we will be throwing another one at your face every time you start being negative” Jordan threatens me.

“Urgh” I groan.

“Will you stay positive and focus on talking with Liv during the international break?”

“And will you keep little Declan inside your pants in the meantime?” Connor adds. 

“It has only left my pants for Liv since the day we first kissed” I reply, hitting him with a pillow.

“Wait, really? I thought you and the singer…”

“She wanted to, but I didn't.”

“Good, good. Keep it like that” Connor says. “And stay positive and focused.”

“I will. I promise” I say. “Now can I please get out of this wet bed and have a proper shower?”

“You can. But we will be watching you” Jordan says.

“Not while you shower, but you know what we mean” Connor says.

“Yeah… Thank you, guys” I say, smiling for the first time since I ruined it all. 

“You're welcome, little bro” Jordan says before he and Connor hug me. 

[starlightsuffered]

The Directors Daughter (p1)

Warnings - age gap, plus sized reader (not a warning but a heads up), costars, daughter of the director obvs, instant attraction, feeling like a perv, ogling breasts

"Hello, I'm Timothée," I said, and outstretched my hand. She was even more beautiful in person. When I'd found out she'd be playing my love interest, I was excited. I'd felt an instant connection when I looked at her picture. I had delved deep into her history. She had done a lot of work for women's rights, she'd started as a singer, but got into acting, and was surprisingly talented, according to critics. She also was very outspoken for the problem of plus sized women being always cast as the comic relief, and never the romantic interest. She herself was plus sized, but I didn't have any issues with that. I hadn't necessarily ever dated someone plus sized, but I didn't feel like I had a type. She was very beautiful, and I liked her thick thighs.

"I'm y/n," she smiled.

"I gotta say, I'm really excited to work with you. I kinda fell down a rabbit hole of your life," I admitted sheepishly.

"Oh thank god, now I can admit I'm like a huge fan of you," she giggled. Her laugh was absolutely perfect.

"Oh really? I'm honored," I chuckled.

"Yeah, you've just got this passion I adore," she said intensely. She talked with her hands like I did.

"Well so do you, all you've done and only 21?" I said.

"I guess you could say I'm a leader, but don't remind me of my age," she rolled her eyes. I found myself at a loss for words as she ran her fingers through her hair.

"W-why?" I asked her.

"Everyone always invalidates me when they find out my age," she shrugged, and I felt like a fucking pervert, but I was mesmerized by the way her ample breasts jiggled when she did. I was so gross, but I was so attracted to her it nearly hurt. This wasn't good or professional or smart.

"Hey angel," the director came up and kissed her on the temple. I was horrified for a moment. Were her and the director.... They couldn't be, the age gap was over thirty years.

"Sorry about my dad," she said nervously. "He's kinda over the top because I'm an only child."

Oh no, oh no, no, no. The girl who I was crushing on hard, and the rough director who had barely giving me the part, were related? Not only that, but he was her over protective dad? This was not going to be good.

[frickinsleepdeprived]

Sing For Me~ (Tengen Uzui x fem! Reader) ***MINORS DNI***

Back at it again with the sins- i mean holy content lmao hope you guys enjoy! As a reminder MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

CW: female oral pleasure, fingering, edging, downright nastiness overall >:)

......

Tengen was never really the type for simplicity, always wanting the flashiest and gaudiest of things. Didn't matter if it was clothes, jewels, people, or mannerisms. If it was flashy, he wanted it. Then there's (Y/N), no inheritance to her name, nothing fancy or exciting about her. Just a young slayer of about 21 years old trying to make it in life. This is who Tengen has to train, the one he has to turn into the hashira that will soon replace him.

 ......

"Master Uzui, I'm not sure why I have to wear such a thing. Don't you think that this will weigh me down by about a metric ass ton?" You asked, looking at the belt he handed you that was bedazzled with various stones. Emeralds, diamonds, sapphires, rubies, etc. The hashira could only laugh though, finding your concern endearing in a way. He's had apprentices like this, but he's never had someone with a background like yours. Or at least, someone with a background he knows nothing about. He wasn't about to pry though, all he was concerned about was you going out in style as you prepared for a real battle on the next mission.

"Nonsense, the only way I'll let you go out there to slay the most vile of demons is if you go out in the flashiest way possible! The God of festivals deems it so! Now, why don't we get started on some more technique training? You seem to be having a hard time with that as of lately. Unless you feel as though there's a more pressing issue to attend to as far as swordsmanship goes." You thought about it for a moment, what could you possibly do that'll get you out of technique training you’ve been doing for the fifth day in a row? An idea popped to mind, but you knew it would be dangerous to pursue.

"I want to hone my breathing skills better sir. It's vital for battle, if I don't I know I'll surely die out there." You finalized, breathing shakily as you saw the concerned yet disappointed look on your master's face. Tengen knew exactly why he didn't want you working on your breathing just yet. Mostly because his boss ordered it. But also because the last time it happened, well, it didn't blow over so well. "Look, I know it's not ideal but how else am I supposed to be a hashira if I don't? If I don't do it now, I'll never do it at all. So please, if you'll be so inclined to teach me the breathing techniques, I'd be more than happy to do whatever handy work you have for me afterwards." Tengen thought about it for a minute, he knew he needed a couple of things done as far as paperwork went. He also needed some help with a few miscellaneous things that he figured could wait for later. But now that the offer was presented to him, how could he resist?

"You know what, if you're so eager to learn I'll teach you. But you have to be ready to be severely out of breath, because we're about to battle for real this time. Are you ready?" His voice wasn't as cheerful or nonchalant as usual. Rather it was one of seriousness, kinda like Rengoku but not quite as encouraging. You shook your nervous expression and raised your gaze to meet his eyes. Which by now were burning with determination on both sides.

"Are you challenging me, master Uzui? You really think I'm not up for the challenge you present for me?" You inquired, sneering at him. He could only smile and ruffle your hair though, as any mentor would do for their apprentice. 

"No (Y/N), I'm merely testing your bearings. And so far, you're doing wonderfully. Tomioka has trained you well in that regard. Now, what form would you like to work on first? I know your previous trainer went over the first six forms with you. Would you like to review them?" Tengen asked, leaning against a nearby wall in the training area.

"I guess it wouldn't hurt to review the first three at least. It's been about a year since the last incident with the breathing techniques, so I shouldn't have such a hard time with it." You commented, unsheathing your sword and watching it glimmer in the light. It fits you perfectly, at least for what type of breathing you do. Tengen seemed pleased with this, you supposed he wanted you to fight him on this. Maybe this was a test of will? You had no idea but you knew you were getting to work on something you've been meaning to do for a whole.

"Excellent, let's start with the first form. We want this to be as fierce as possible. Sometimes battle will never be flashy, oftentimes it'll be boring to the point where you want the demon to take you instead. But nevertheless, you gotta make the most of it. Here, let me fix your stance.-" He paused to fix the way you stood. "You need to stand like you're in a punching position. Your left foot forward and your right foot right behind it. You should find yourself in a position where you're prepared to lunge at your boring target. Because that's what demons are, they're boring as hell." Tengen's comments made you laugh on the inside. He knew how to brighten you up even in the most stressful of situations. Although, your mind was elsewhere, it was on something far more dear to you than his snarky comments. But those were thoughts for later. "Now, raise your arms at an angle, take a deep and steady breath then swing as hard as you can shouting your first form name." Sounded easy enough to you.

"Sound breathing, first form: Roar!" Swinging with all of your might, you released your breath as you saw rays of black shadows release from your blade, making almost a dragon like shape. It hit your target perfectly. Tengen, needless to say, was pleased with these results. "Sound breathing, fourth form: Constant resounding flashes!" Without thinking, you moved to the fourth form effortlessly. Obviously remembering to breathe this time as you swung your blade, then releasing the breath as your hit landed. You took a second to gather yourself after that, only to hear Tengen's clapping in the back.

"Wow, impressive. Good job, I knew you could do it in such a flashy way after all." Tengen commended you for your efforts. Although it wasn’t exactly what you were expecting, truth be told, you were actually expecting something a little more condescending than that. He’s always been like that, at least towards you in the two years that you’ve known him. Since you were 19, you’ve been training under many different hashira for many different reasons. However, Tengen proved to be a feat in of himself. His flashy ways, his flamboyant yet arrogant personality, not to mention the gaudiness of the way he dresses… it was all just conjecture to you. You never quite understood why someone would want to live such a lifestyle. “Well, that’s enough for today. You should probably just stick with those two for now. Breathing techniques are hard to master, they require time and patience. And I’d hate to break it to you, but (Y/N), you barely have any patience at all.” Tengen deadpanned at the last phrase, leaving you with an expression that feigned offense. He was pretty fond of it honestly, finding it quite endearing that his apprentice could joke around with him like an old friend. “Alright, let’s end it here. You should get some rest before the mission tomorrow evening. It’ll be short lived, just so you can get a feel for being a hashira… and since you’ll be with me, I’ll make sure it’s the flashiest experience of your life!” He exclaimed, trying to get you to crack at least a small smile. You sighed though, knowing that tomorrow night might be your last sunset. Although, you had to admit that there were other things on your mind that you figured weren’t worth attending to at the present moment. He noticed this, knowing you could get too into your own head. Tengen leveled himself to your height, “Hey, what’s going on? You’re usually not like this. Crack a joke or something, liven up. No point in worrying too much before a mission, save that energy for tomorrow.” Tengen lifted your chin to make you look at him, a blush rose to your cheeks as you had no idea what to say. No thoughts, head empty, only Tengen. Your mind was merely blank as you stared into his magenta eyes. It was no wonder he had three wives, well, at least from what you heard he does. It wasn't your place to question someone's personal life, especially someone who has taken you under their wing to make you into a hashira. 

"You know that's why I lead a simple life right? Because of my impatience i mean. After all, I doubt I could keep up with your flashiness given my luck." You commented, sighing at the way he was looking at you. It was almost like he wanted to convey something to you but he didn't want to say it out loud. He chuckled, kissing your forehead. "Consider that a token of luck. Bestowed upon you by the God of festivals!" Okay, that made you smile. Which was exactly what he was looking for, a smile upon your face. "Now come on, I know you're hungry and tired given all of the effort you put in today. So let's go ahead and do something about that alright?"

"Sounds good to me." You spoke, walking with him back to wherever you guys were going.

*fast forward after the mission bc I'm FUCKING lazy*

You took a shaky breath, that demon was uh, something else. Who knew mountain demons were something else entirely. You didn't know if you were up against an upper or lower moon, or if it was just some random demon with insane powers. You looked around, looking for Tengen frantically. He said he'd be right by your side through it all but you couldn't seem to find him anywhere. "Master Uzui?! Where are you?! Give me a sign you're okay!" You shouted as the sun set. A gust of wind followed shortly afterwards, you whipped around to see a flash of white hair. "Master…?" You approached the figure, only to feel a hand on your shoulder from behind. Whipping around bearing your sword ready to defend yourself, only to find a familiar stature in front of you.

"That was by far the flashiest I've seen you perform! Well done (Y/N), you're one step closer to becoming a hashira! And to think that ended up being a more powerful demon than we anticipated, you truly shine on the battlefield." You looked up to see Tengen, his face left without a scratch but his arms were cut up and bleeding from battle. Your eyes began to sting, but you couldn't let yourself cry in front of him. However your efforts were in vain, and you broke. Tengen was taken aback, having never seen you so emotionally vulnerable. "Whoa, okay, hey hey now. Calm down, you're alive and that's all that matters. Come on, let's go get to somewhere safe okay?" He suggested, lowering himself to your level and caressing your arms like he would a child. The only difference is that you're his apprentice, he's responsible not only for your welfare but also your life. He tilted your chin up to have you look at him. "Hey, let it out, talk to me about it. You gotta get it out, so do what you gotta do and say what you need to say. Alright?" Tengen spoke softly, wiping away some of your tears as you tried to compose yourself to speak.

"I- I never thought I could do it Master Uzui... but gods why does it have to come to this?! Why do we have to kill living beings that were once human?! I- I…" You fell to your feet, feeling as though you had let Tengen down along with the other hashiras who worked tirelessly to prepare you for this moment. Looking at your disheveled form he helped you stand once more, and to sheath your blade with your shaking hands. "A-ah! Gods please be careful Master Uzui…" Feeling a sharp pain in your arm, you winced when Tengen lifted your arm to find blood oozing from it. 

"Looks like you got a nasty cut yourself. Come on, let's get somewhere safer than here." He wrapped your arm around his waist to help you balance, making sure to not let you fall. "You know, this is the reason why I didn't want you working on your breathing in the first place right? I don't need you falling ill this easily." He commented, hearing your heartbeat still racing. You tried gathering yourself as best as you could, breathing heavily as if you were still in battle. You began to cough as you tried catching your breath further. You stopped moving, coughing harder than you were before and doubling over in pain. "Okay this clearly isn't good, fight it (Y/N), I’ll be sure to find a place to rest in no time. All you have to do is stay awake.” Tengen commanded, trying to offer some encouragement as he picked you up and ran as fast as he could. You took this time to breathe deeply, trying to ease your mind from the thought of almost losing your life or even Tengen losing his. The fact that you’re both wounded is bad enough. But the question really is were you even breathing all throughout that battle?

“M-master Usui, will I die tonight? I’m having a really hard time breathing…” You asked weakly, hearing a door slide open and feeling the warmth envelop you in its embrace. He looked at you with what seemed to be care, the kind of look he’d give his wives or maybe to Tanjiro. After shutting the door with his foot he placed you down on the bed, courtesy of the demon slayer corps. Sitting up you looked at your arm in the light, it wasn’t too bad but you knew what a deep cut could do. At least now you could breathe better, which was good news to Tengen as he could see your condition improve almost instantly.

“Nonsense, you’re not going to die. All you needed was to breathe, perhaps sitting down is what you needed after all. Panicking like that isn’t good for you, but I can understand why simply because this was your first battle as a hashira in training. That demon was pretty strong too, put up one hell of a flashy fight also.” He stated, rekindling the fire that was previously started by whoever was here before. “But, nevertheless we should take this time to rest. Or recap on a few things from the mission, if you want to.” Tengen sighed as he sat next to you, wrapping your arm with medical supplies someone had left behind. You thought about it for a second, then looked down at the belt he gave you the day prior.

“Well, firstly, the belt is surprisingly lightweight. I didn’t think it’d be this nice on me if I’m being completely honest.” You giggled as you spoke, something you’ve never quite done before. Taking some antiseptic and a sterile pad you wiped any infection away from the cuts on his arms. Feeling the muscles as you held them in your hand. “Secondly, there’s just not a lot to talk about on my end. I’m sure you’ve heard my story from Giyuu or perhaps Rengoku. Also youre really good at patching up wounds, what are you some kind of secret medic?” You chuckled as you spoke while Tengen simply laughed. He loved seeing you like this, as if it weren't evident enough. 

“I actually haven’t heard anything, believe it or not. Not even Tanjiro felt comfortable telling me. He said it was too touchy of a subject and I’d have to ask you. But I won’t push it if you don’t want to tell me. Wouldn’t be very flashy of me now would it?” You laughed at that last bit, your smile warming his heart. "Also, people I hold dear to me tend to get injured pretty often. Be it from clumsiness or even combat, Makio being the more frequently injured one of course. Everything I learned is from Shinobu. Though, I doubt I can be as flashy as her when it comes to medical care." Tengen answered your question as best as he could, concentrating on securely wrapping the wound on your arm after disinfecting it. 

You sighed, him mentioning your past was a rather touchy subject, even though you were the one to bring it up in the first place. “Well, as far as my past, that's a story for another time. For now, I have other things on my mind. Like training, working on my breathing once we get back to quarters, my feelings for you-” Tengen looked at you with a dumbfounded face. Did he hear that right? Feelings for him? From you no less?

“Wait, wait, stop. What was that last part there?” You realized what you said, blushing harder than you usually do in the night when you think about him. You couldn't say that it’s nothing dirty or anything, but you’ve always just wondered what his hugs felt like, what it would feel like to be in his arms. You’re so small compared to him, the man is over six feet tall. To say you’re a little down bad is an understatement. By down bad, it means that you’re full on SIMPING for this man. And since it’s out, you can’t deny it now. He can already see right through you anyways. “(Y/N), are you suggesting that you have an infatuation towards me? How flashy of you, you’re usually not one to be very forward.” He leaned in closer to you, and being the sound hashira that he is, he could probably hear your heartbeat quickening with every passing beat.

“W-well I mean, I can't deny that I do… but surely your loyalty lies somewhere else whether it’s with a person or with work.” You asked, trying to avert your gaze elsewhere but your eyes just kept wandering back to his. At this point you're disinfecting his arms and wrapping them with the same gentle care that he gave to you. Though, they didn't seem to bother him much even before they were cleaned and wrapped.

“I actually have three wives, (Y/N). Yes the rumors are true, but to the other hashira it’s common knowledge. You’ve actually met them one time when we were training. They brought us food, remember?” He was right, they came by the headquarters to drop off some food for the both of you. But in actuality, they wanted to see who their husband was working with, though the food was indeed an added bonus. “Makio, Suma, and Hinatsuru seem to really like you though. Matter of fact, they told me not to come home if you weren’t coming to visit after this mission. Which obviously they were joking of course. But with that said, I suppose your affection isn’t in vain. And if I’m being completely honest…” He leaned in towards you, he was so close to your ear you could practically hear him breathing. “I’m not off the hook when it comes to my feelings about you.” He whispered like a baby's breath, his voice was far more soft than when he would whisper to you in a regular conversation. Your breath hitched in your throat, but rather than fear, you felt a strange sense of relief. You’ve never experienced anything like this before, so it was time for that agonizing twenty questions game you know he hates playing.

“So, what I’m hearing is that these feelings are reciprocated in a way? Or in every way I should say?” You asked, only to find him captivated by your gaze. “Master Uzui?” You reached your hand up to his face, trying to snap him out of whatever trance he was in. Only for him to grab a hold of it and intertwine his fingers with yours, leaving butterflies in the abyss of your stomach.

“Firstly, call me Tengen, you have my full permission to. Secondly, yes, they’re matched in every regard (Y/N). Now, do you want to keep this interaction short? Or, do you want to move onto something more, how should I put this?” Tengen thought about it for a second, struggling to know what to say next.

“Well, Rengoku told me that when words fail, action might not. So instead of saying it, why don’t you uh… show me what you mean?” by now you're already leaning in, he just happened to close the gap. You had no idea what you were thinking but you were damn sure of it as you felt his lips hit yours. They were surprisingly softer than you were expecting, but you didn't mind. He pulled you into his arms, breaking the kiss to catch some air.

"If I show you, are you going to be okay? I won't force you to do anything you don't want to." He spoke, staring at you with what seemed to be a spark in his eyes. Your smile said it all, you were ready to take this further. "That says it all then…" like lightning his lips crashed onto yours again. This time being a little more heated than the last time. You moaned softly as he kissed you, feeling urges that were completely foreign to you. Apparently those moans of yours was only more motivation for him to kiss you deeper and pull you closer, forcing you to wrap your legs around his waist. He broke the kiss to look at you, which by now you're flushed a light pink. "Are you okay? You seem a little flustered there." He asked, needing to know if you're okay.

"Y-yeah I'm okay, although I must admit this is my first time doing such a thing so… please, forgive me if I'm a bit uh, rusty I suppose." You stammered, almost ashamed that you're still a virgin at your age. Tengen placed your hair behind your ears to get a better look at you, and he couldn't be any happier with you.

"Well, for one, that's completely fine. I have absolutely no problem with that. I'm honored to be your first. We'll take as much time as you need, does that sound ideal my angel?" Tengen asked, sincerity lacing his voice as you wrapped your arms around his neck. "And remember, it's your call, always. I want you, no, I need you to put yourself first. Your safety matters to me immensely, and you can always back out at any given point." He's trying so hard to reassure you, hearing your heartbeat quicken made him worry given your state a few moments ago.

"That's honestly the most thoughtful thing someone's told me in a long time. So of course it sounds good. I'm yours for the taking Tengen…" you breathed. The desperate tone of your voice was surely enough to let him knownthat you wanted him. No, you needed him. His gaze upon you darkened as he unbuttoned your uniform blouse, only to find out that there wasn't anything underneath it. You kicked off your shoes and threw them across the bed as you undid his shirt also. "Gods I want you so fucking badly…"

"You've already got a God in front of you beautiful…" Tengen, by this point, is just as heated as you are. The pressure in your core builds up with every garment being stripped from your body until you're both down to absolutely nothing. He traced the abs and muscles on your body, they were subtle yet noticeable by any hashira out there. "Gods you're more beautiful than I imagined… come here and kiss me already." He wraps you in his arms as he dove in for another passionate kiss. Moving from your lips down to your neck which caused you to sing out in pleasure. He flipped you over onto your back, making sure your head didn't hit anything of course. He chuckled as he kept moving down towards your fruitful bounty. Licking it once and looking for your reaction. Which was nothing more than a whimper and you gently pushing his face down towards it. So he continued in slow sensual circles around your bud, causing you to fight the moans you were trying so desperately to hold back. "Are you enjoying this, my beloved?" Tengen asked from down there.

"Y-yes, yes it feels so fucking good I need more please…" you begged and pleaded for more. Which in turn made Tengen slowly and steadily slide a finger inside of you. Wincing a bit, yet quickly adjusting, you felt his finger slowly pump in and out of you making you shake with ecstasy. "O-oh gods yes just like that don't stop!" You couldn't hold in your whines and groans of pleasure anymore, it was just that good. Although, Tengen had other plans in mind.

"Hmm, you're not singing for me the way I want you to my love. How about I quicken the pace?" He started moving in and out faster, the sloppy noises coming from down there sending you into a state of euphoria. You rolled your eyes out of pleasure as you moaned loudly.

"Tengen! Oh gods don't stop!" You begged and pleaded the way he wanted you to. Which got you another finger slipped inside of you as a reward. "O-oh fuck!" You sang your song as he pumped his two fingers in and out of you. It only made you wonder what his actual length would feel like. "Oh my God Tengen I'm gonna bust…" at this news, Tengen slipped his fingers out of you. A shocked expression laced your face. "What?! Unfairrrrr!" You whined as he started looming over top of you. He chuckled somewhat darkly as he licked his two fingers clean, delighting in your taste. "Oh come onnn I was about to cum man!" You laughed it off, thinking nothing else would come out of this. Tengen raised his eyebrow in a playfully questioning manner, a slight laugh emitting from his lips as he bent down and kissed you. Allowing you to get a taste of yourself in the process. 

"Oh baby, we're just getting started…" He cooed, rubbing your shaking legs with tender care letting you know that he's here with you. In this present moment you have never felt more ready for anything in your life. The only issue is that you're nervous as fuck. "Hey, I know this can be scary. Especially since this is your first time, with a hashira no less. But I wanted to let you know that no matter what, I'm here for you, always." He slid his tip in while keeping you distracted with his kind words. "And like I said earlier, if you feel remotely unsafe or uncomfortable at any given point, all you need to do is say the word and we can stop. There's absolutely zero judgment from me, all I want you to do is relax and enjoy my angel." He slid in his length a little more as his arms snaked around your small frame. You smiled at him, kissing his cheek in a grateful manner. Your arms wrapped under his underarms and holding onto his scarred shoulders. His bodyweight wasn't very overpowering, it was like that of a weighted blanket. You could actually feel his muscles working as he slid deeper into you. By which you coped with by taking deep breaths and doing exactly as he said; which was to relax and just enjoy the feeling… maybe this wasn't so bad for you. You heard other horror stories from Shinobu and Mitsuri about people in their lives who lost their virginities in uh… not so nice ways. So the fact that you're doing this for the first time with someone who cares about you deeply, it really changed your perspective on how you felt about sex. When he finally slid it all the way in you let out a small moan, letting him know that you were indeed enjoying the moment. "Does that feel good, my love?" He asked, brushing the hair out of your face so he could see you better. You only hummed in approval, earning a smile from him in return. "Angel, I want to hear you say it, does this feel good?" He bent down near your ear again, "or do you need more my beloved?" You looked at him in the most sincere way you could muster up.

"Yes Tengen, it feels so good. Though, I wouldn't mind if you wanted to give me more. But I'll leave that up to you… master." You decided to get bold with it, mostly because you were starting to get a bit bored. He smirked sinfully, even more sinful thoughts racing in his head. What he could do to you right now… but he knew he couldn't, he would break you if he did. "Oh, whats the matter? Is the God of flashiness that looms above me getting shy?" You teased, testing his limits like you usually did when you both were training together. His eyes darkened a bit, what was once bright magenta eyes had decreased to a deep berry shade. It was captivating in a way, strangely enough.

"Alright then angel, I'll show you what such a shy God like myself can do. Just relax and enjoy this." He wasted no time as he started moving in and out of you, starting at a moderate pace to begin with. The feelings it gave you… you felt so fucking dirty. But the best part is that you didn't care, and he didn't seem to either. It threw every concept of nobility and honor out of the window, and with the pain definitely came pleasure. Tengens groans and moans of pleasure harmonized with yours perfectly and frankly so did his dick with your pussy. He was undeniably large, what'd you expect though? For a big dude you'd expect a big dick, and that's exactly what you got and for your first time no less. "Goddamn angel, how can you be so fucking tight- oh my fucking God it's so good…" He tried holding back as best as he could for your sake, but you both knew that you're getting bored and frankly so is he.

"Master… faster, please I need it faster I need you so fucking bad please master I'll do anything for you if you just pleasure me with your dick please please please…" you begged as best as you could and his smirk only got smugger. He flipped you over so you were laying on your stomach.

"Close your legs a little for me darling…" you did what you were told, feeling his length go back into you but hitting more than what you thought it could. "Oh fuck baby, this is gonna be so fucking good." He started pounding into you faster, making you grip the bed sheets until your knuckles turned a ghostly white.

"Oh fuck yes baby! Master it's so good, I need more but more importantly I need you… give it to me harder." you whined, wanting more even though you knew that it could potentially break you. He grunted whilst moving to hold your hips up as he rammed into your small body. It was almost like you guys fit together like puzzle pieces. Two puzzle pieces that fit together so perfectly. "F-fuck!" you breathed, trying to get a hold of your looming mind but failing miserably just to bask in the high you're feeling right now. Tengen looked down at you with a devilish smirk, only to flip you over on your hands and knees while he's still in you.

"You like it when your master fucks you like this huh?" he taunted in your ear with a low, sensual tone. Smacking your ass as if it were his own personal punching bag, you let out a loud moan. "That's right angel, sing for me will you? I want to hear you sing my name for me all night, got that?" By this point he's already hitting your g-spot, making you say nothing but incoherent moans and more importantly his name.

"T-Tengen, oh god Tengen I need you more please, just give me everything you have please please please!" You were desperate for a release at this point, your throbbing cunt not being able to take anymore for much longer. He went even faster now, the sound of skin slapping on skin harshly and your moans combined heeded warning to any demon to not come near. "Tengen for the love of the gods just FUCK ME!" you couldn't hold back your primal instincts anymore. It took him aback for a second but lust ultimately won in his thoughts, in his actions, and with you.

"Alright, if that's what you want-" he grabbed a hold of your hair and yanked your head back to look at him. "Then so be it." From there he started plunging into you mercilessly, making you feel every inch of him and you loved every bit of it. He took advantage of your open mouth and slipped two fingers in, allowing you to coat them in your spit. He flipped you over onto your back again, pulling himself out he slipped his two fingers into your soaked sex, pleasuring you with his fingers again while rubbing slow, agonizing circles on your abused clit. "Is this what you wanted? Huh (Y/N)?" He asked, not a drop of mercy in his voice.

"Y-yes master this is exactly what I wanted..." You whined, trying to cover your face only to have your arms pinned above your head by his free hand. The thought of being restrained made you go crazy, but now that it's happening, it made you go absolutely feral.

"Good, now here's the catch gorgeous, you're only going to cum when I tell you to. Until then, why don't you sing for me a little more?" His voice was husky and slurred, drunk from pleasure and you definitely weren't off the hook also. He curled his fingers inside of you, hitting that spongy area and making you scream in pleasure. He kept tapping that same spot with his two fingers, and to silence your screams he dove in for a deep, loving kiss. Mostly to remind you that you're safe with him in case you had forgotten.

"Tengen... I want to cum, make me cum please please please..." You begged for him to let you release, which he just smiled at you, looking in your eyes making you anticipate your wish granted. "Tengen please I'll do anything for you if it means I get to cum please-" you were cut off by the feeling of his dick entering in you again, arching your back and making you moan while gripping the sheets.

"Since you've been such a good girl for me, and I can hear your heart pounding against your chest, I don't see why not. But you'll do it on my count, got that?" He whispered in your ear, this is driving you mad. You nodded nevertheless though, wanting nothing but his dick plunging into you as you came. "Ready? One... two... cum!"

"Oh FUCK YES AH!" and just like that, the knot in your chest and stomach released itself, allowing you to bask in your ecstatic high as he pulled out and finished himself off. Spilling his seed on your thighs and lower abdomen. He took a good look at you, marveling in what he's done to make you look and feel that good. You tried catching your breath as best as you could. Only for it to be taken away by another one of Tengen's passionate kisses, to which you returned happily. After he pulled away to find towels for the both of you to clean up with, he pulled you into his lap.

"Was that good, or was I too rough there?" he asked, concern lacing his voice as he looked at your dazed expression. You looked up and smiled though, giving him all of the reassurance he needed.

"Yes, it was amazing. Thank you Tengen, there's no one else I would've rather had my first time with." You reached up a hand to hold his face, stroking it lovingly with your thumb. He leaned into your touch, wanting nothing else but to know that you're okay. He was surprised that you could handle his heavy handedness though, and for your first time no less.

But you wouldn't have it any other way, you were safe and that's all that matters. Safe as you fell asleep in his arms, knowing that maybe there was a possibility of something flourishing between the two of you.

......

AAAAAAA THIS TOOK ME ALL DAY

SOMEONE COME GET THIS MAN BECAUSE HE'S N A S T Y -

Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed! Let me know what you want to see next!

And remember: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

[hibischush]

Idk if we’ll ever get canon ages of the bachelors and bachelorettes for FoM. But do you have exactly any headcanon or idea of how old they are?

You know I was just thinking about this! I have a few ideas but still unsure so feel free to put your input in the tags 🌺

Bachelors

Balor 🪙

26 or 27

He's a merchant that has built a reputation around the town and outside of it, he needs a few years to do that

Especially considering he was a ""former rouge,"" he'd either have to spend a few years to regain trust or change his identity lol

He looks young but acts older if you know what I mean? Idk I guess has a lot of experience

March ⚒️

I'm giving the pretty confident answer that he is 22

He acts like an angsty teen so he's younger but definitely not over 25

For historical accuracies, a quick search claims that blacksmith apprentices would start around age 13 or 14 and would last from 4-8 years (this is from a quick google search so the source is....trust me man...)

I think he would have started at 14 and the apprenticeship would last at least 6 years (he's an "award-winning" blacksmith so I would assume that the two years after he graduated he would build up his fame)

Hayden 🐔

Anywhere from 35-42

I feel like 30 is too young for Hayden but's that just me

He could be a younger silver fox you never know

For maximum DILF points he has to be 35≤

I think a happy little median would be 38

Ryis 🌲

I like to think he's 23 but 22-25 also works

He definitely looks young but I don't think he's at his mid twenties just yet

Eiland 📜

23

It makes sense to me, he still looks young and has some youthful outlooks on life or on his dreams

and that's not a bad thing!

If he ended up getting education as a historian/archaeologist then it puts him at the end of his education

But his age depends on Adeline's since I'm not sure if he is the older or younger sibling (or if they are twins)

If they are twins they both would be 24 but if he is younger then I would keep him at 23

Bachelorettes

Celine 🌼

I know that a lot of people would hc her as younger (like 21) and like

her looks fit the bill

but I think she has a baby face and I think she'd be 24

Juniper ♨️

Juniper gives the "fun wine aunt" vibes

So I think her age range is 28-30

Reina 🍳

I think that Reina would be the youngest out of all of the bachelorettes

I think she'd be 21

I don't have a great reason other than she just seems lost in a way

Like doesn't know what she wants her "niche" to be

She likes cooking and that's great! I think she'd make an excellent chef

But as long as she stays a part-timer at her parents inn she just reminds me of a dove that hasn't left the nest quite yet

Valen 🩺

38-42

Medical school and residency explains most of this

She just gives a very mature vibe so I think she'd be on the older end

However, I think she would be older than Hayden so if Hayden is 38, she'd be at least 40

Adeline 🌷

25

She gives older sister vibes and with how stressed out she is that just solidifies my opinion that she is older

She's getting to the age where she's figuring most things out but some things still escape her y'know

Some things are learned with age (like learning how to relax)

Bonus: if Caldarus does end up becoming a romanceable then (they?) would be the oldest by a long shot. Easily 1,000+

Some of the romanceables look/act super young, but since you can get married the automatic age minimum is 18. But honestly even that is pretty young to get married (at least in the modern day)?? I want to hear the rest of the communities thoughts too.

[distort-opia]

are there any examples of batjokes being gentle? i guess? with each other? other than bruce carrying joker bridal style or in TBWL when he held joker after he shot himself

Depends on your definition of "gentle", I suppose. If that includes Bruce saving Joker's life, often in dramatic ways and holding/carrying Joker bridal-style, he's done that a lot-- not just in Batman Who Laughs. But besides that... they do have quieter moments. They're rarer and not necessarily divorced from violence, because (to quote a line from Hannibal), violence is the language they best understand. But they're there.

The most obvious one is the ending of The Killing Joke, Bruce offering Joker his help and telling him he isn't alone, and then them laughing together while clinging to each other:

-- Batman: The Killing Joke

Another underrated moment that I'm personally very fond of comes from Legends of the Dark Knight (2012), and an arc called "Haunted Arkham". In it, the ghost of a little girl who was killed by the current head psychiatrist at Arkham begins to take over the residents, invoked by the head psychiatrist himself. Bruce realizes what must've happened to the little girl, who (of course) possesses Joker as her main avatar of revenge. She uses Joker to kill her tormentor, and after it happens, Bruce and Joker have this poignant scene:

-- Legends of the Dark Knight (2012) #21

That sock puppet Joker gives Bruce is the shape the little girl had taken to talk to Joker in previous issues, and he just accepts it. Bruce doesn't attack Joker either for killing the guy. They both clearly... felt for the child. (And don't even get me started on the meta aspect of it all, because what Joker's describing here is in many ways his own approach to loving Batman, hurting him so that he'd always pay attention to him and never forget him; which is why the little girl latches onto Batman too, and waits for him through Joker after the murder, because of the implied understanding.)

I'd also count Fool's Errand as a gentler moment. It's the anniversary of Jason Todd's death, and a child is missing (with only Joker having the information needed to save her, because he caused her kidnapping to happen), so you can imagine the kind of projection and grief that Bruce has got going on.

Joker covers it up as another ploy to get under Bruce's skin, but it doesn't entirely read like that. It reads like part of Joker compensates for Jason's death and lets Bruce have this win, this moment where he does manage to get there in time and save the child. ("Why? Just... because." And then he comes up with a reason Bruce would believe.)

-- Detective Comics (1937) #726

Though, maybe one of their most gentle moments is during their amnesiac time. After Batman: Endgame... and does dying together the way they did count as gentle? Either way, the implication of Capullo's unused cover for that last issue is striking:

-- Batman: Endgame

So they die, likely in each other's arms, but are brought back to life without their memories by the dionesium. And then (because the Universe apparently always brings these two together) amnesiac Bruce and Joker meet on a bench and have this iconic moment, in which Joker pretty much asks Bruce not to become Batman again and let them both rest:

-- Batman (2011) #48

The whole issue is beautiful, but my favorite is Joker (the champion of "nothing matters") telling Bruce (the champion of "everything matters") that it's okay for things to not have a point, that being alive and present is enough. Truly tragic that Bruce doesn't remember this.

Then there's a moment during the Rebirth Wedding arc, when Joker finds out about Bruce and Selina being engaged, and goes after them:

-- Batman (2016) #48

It's another instance of a deep understanding between them, an island of quiet within a river of violence.

Man, this got way longer than I thought! I'm sure there's other examples that might qualify, but I'll leave it as it is. Hope this scratched the itch, Anon.

[falena-kingscholar]

Welcome to Sunset Savanna!

The king is a very busy man with lots to attend to, so I'll be taking care of all the administrative stuff so you all can have your fun!

My name is V, you can call me the royal advisor if you really wanted, and I'm here to keep everything running smoothly, keep this blog a safe place, and make sure everyone is having fun. In order to do that, of course, there have to be rules, so let me make this short and sweet as I can for you!

Bigots, terfs, racists, p*dos, you're all on the DNI list. I will block you if you come on my blog with the intention to harm someone else, or openly admit these values.

Being an advisor means I've got plenty on my plate beyond this blog. There is a real person running all this, with my own life to live. Please be patient and understanding.

Have fun!! If I or someone else is making you uncomfortable, feel free to let me know so I can set things right.

Limit your NSFW. I don't mind if you're thirsty to a certain extent, and I'm fine with cursing. Keep in mind that the RP community on Tumblr is diverse both in gender + sexuality, but also in age and I would like to keep this page friendly to everyone.

OCs, MCs and other Canon characters are welcome to interact. Just as a bit of a heads up, I'm not super comfortable shipping Falena with anyone besides his wife - but if you read below you'll see why that's a little rocky too.

This is a HEADCANON version of Falena. Below is a short description of how I interpret him and a few of his relationships. This is to ensure I enjoy the character I'm playing. This does not mean I'm not open to feedback or constructive criticism, just be respectful please.

Get To Know The King

He's fairly jovial and upbeat most of the time

He's really bad about just listening to problems - he likes to solve them

He and his wife are in a bit of weird spot - it's because he's still a closeted gay and it's impacted their marriage. He loves her still, just more platonically than romantically. They agreed to have a kid in hopes of repairing the rift they were both feeling, and it kind of worked, but he still really needs to be honest about his feelings Soon

Cheka is the one person he loves more than ANYONE and often comes across as a bit of an overbearing dad he's totally not just adding on to loving Cheka with all the love he wishes his brother would accept

The age gap between him and Leona? GUESS WHAT, I, THE PERSON BEHIND THE SCREEN HAVE THAT SAME AGE GAP WITH MY SISTERS (twins) (however we are still close and besties so I know. the Opposite of what I did is what I need to do for Falena sldkjfhlskdjf /hj)

That being said, Falena has a strained relationship with Leona that he has only recently come to notice now that Leona isn't around as often. He really wants to make amends, but feels like a complete stranger to his own brother and it shows in his interactions - he still kind of treats Leona like he's 6-13 because that's the Leona he remembers - the one who was still excited to see him when he came home from RSA. It wasn't until Falena was 19 that he noticed a bit of a rift. They started getting closer, then when Falena was 21 he was coronated and got married to his betrothed as his father fell ill.

Thank you for reading all of that! All that's left is to give credit where it's due.

The beautiful portrait done of his Royal Highness used as the face of this page, (with permission), was done by none other than @/lemonwerewolf here.

Dividers were made by @/saradika-graphics, here.

If the way I write seems familiar to you, you might recognize me from @twistedwonderlandshenanigans , my HC's and general writing blog for twst. (I follow from @/symphonicmetal101 though)

Thank you again, the King and I hope you enjoy your stay here,

In Sunset Savanna

[ghostboneswrites2]

Doe Eyes || CH4 - Worth Being Sore Over

See CH1 for warnings! || Chapter list || Masterlist

        Thirty days had passed. You marked each day in a little notebook, and wrote down a song title for each day. Aside from Beth's occasional singing, you hadn't heard real music in a long time. Music was the thing you missed most from the world before, and you thought it would be a good method to keep music alive. Even if you couldn't hear it, you could remember it. The songs weren't even necessarily songs you likes, just the ones you remembered.

        Day 28 - Don't Fear the Reaper ~ Blue Oyster Cult

        Day 29 - Nights in White Satin ~ The Moody Blues

        Day 30 - 21 Guns ~ Green Day

        You guys had a run to make, so you scribbled your entry quickly and got dressed, grabbed a bite, chugged some water, and did a few stretches. You had learned the hard way how sore you could get doing so much labor with no warm up. So, every day you stretched. 

        The council was wary of you at first. Michonne recognized you from the time the Governor sent you after her with Merle, who you learned some time ago was dead, and she made her concerns known. Brandy stuck up for you, though, reminding them that it was you who hadn't gone after her when you could have. You also reminded them that you were on guard when they broke in to rescue Glenn and Maggie, and you didn't go after them. You asked to prove yourself and you did, taking down seven or eight walkers outside the fence on your own with just a crowbar. It worked, and you got to earn your place. So, when you were called upon to make a run with the group, you didn't protest. 

        Brandy hated it, though.

        "You're really gonna go?" She asked you as you made sure your bag was empty to ensure plenty of space for loot.

        "We've been over it." You shrugged. "Every single time, might I add. This is my job. It's how I earn my keep."

        "There are so many jobs that need done around here." She argued. "I mean, I'm up to my ears in laundry. Why the hell are there only three of us on laundry duty? There are like a thousand people here!"

        "A thousand?" You laughed. "Try again."

        "Details aren't the point! Just stay and do a normal job!" She pleaded.

        "This is a normal job, Brandy." You told her, stepping past her and exiting your cell.

        "No it's not. It's like, betting with your life or something every time you go."

        "Come on, stop being such a drama queen. We haven't had a single incident the entire time we've been here." You sighed. When her glare was unrelenting you decided to lay a hand on her arm and offer her a half smile. "Chillax, cowgirl. We're professionals and shit."

        She laughed at that and shook her head.

        "You better come back in one piece." She scolded.

        "Always do!" You chirped as you skipped away before she could protest any further.

----

        "Just give it a second." Daryl said after banging on the glass outside the grocery store to lure out some walkers.

        "Okay, I think I got it." Zach announced.

        "Got what?" Michonne asked, walking up behind him. You raised your eyebrows at him, awaiting his response.

        "I've been trying to guess what Daryl did before the turn." He said.

        "He's been tryin' to guess for like six weeks." Daryl complained.

        "Yeah, I'm pacing myself." Zach defended. "One shot a day."

        "Alright, shoot." Daryl sighed.

        "Well, the way you are at the prison," Zach began. "You being on the council, you're able to track.. You're helping people but you're still being kind of.." He trailed off for a second, gathering his thoughts. "Surly." He nodded. "Big swing here... Homicide cop."

        Michonne started laughing, and you couldn't help but stifle a laugh yourself.

        "What's so funny?" Daryl asked defensively.

        "Nothing." Michonne shook her head, still smirking. "It makes perfect sense."

        "Actually, the man's right." Daryl nodded. "Under cover."

        "Come on, really?" Zach asked.

        "Yup. I mean, I don't like to talk about it, 'cause it's a lot of heavy shit, you know?"

        "Dude, c'mon. Really?" Zach scoffed as Daryl turned his head away and smirked a little. He turned his head back to Zach and gave him a look. One of those 'be fucking for real' type looks. "Okay. I'll just keep guessing, I guess."

        "Yeah, you keep doin' that." Daryl nodded. 

        A walker slammed up against the glass, snarling. You scrunched your nose in disgust at its bloated neck and flaky rotten skin. 

        "We gonna do this, detective?" Michonne asked sarcastically.

        "Let's do it!" Daryl said, strutting toward the entrance.

        The group of you cleared the walkers that crowded up inside, hungry for your flesh. 

        "Alright." Sasha breathed. "We go in, stay in formation for the sweep. After that, you all know what you're supposed to look for. Any questions?"

        "Was there any time that you weren't the boss of me?" Tyreese asked.

        "You had a few years before I was born." She teased. 

        You shook your head and smiled at the siblings bantering as you guys filed inside. You pulled your bag off your shoulder and began searching the aisles for hygienic things, like soap, first aid, pads and tampons, diapers, lotions, just whatever. It wasn't long before a loud crash erupted, and you all rushed to find Bob stuck under a shelf of wine. As soon as you all went to help him, walkers started falling through the roof.

        "Uh, we should get out of here." Glenn said.

        A walker fell down on Glenn but he fought it off and shot it. They just kept coming. You looked around frantically, unsure what the next move was. A walker came up on your side and you whacked it once, then twice, and down it went. Thanks, crowbar, you thought to yourself. 

        You decided to just keep taking them down, until someone shouted some order into the chaos. You definitely couldn't leave anyone behind. You noticed Daryl and Zach working to get Bob out from under the shelf, so you hurried over to help. When the weight was lifted just enough, Bob slithered out from under it. Unfortunately, so did a walker, and it took a big chunk out of Zach's leg.

        You all froze, stunned. Thirty days of good luck, and of course you had to witness the first tragedy in a month. The walkers swarmed him, taking bites from anywhere they could reach, including his face. You gagged at the grotesqueness, but ultimately you all had to go and preserve your own lives. You were teary eyed as you all made your escape.

        The ride back was a solemn one. Nobody spoke, and you personally were filled with dread. Who was gonna tell Beth about her boyfriend? 

        "What about Beth?" You asked, clearing your throat first to break the silence.

        "What about her?" Michonne asked.

        "Who's gonna tell her? About Zach?"

        "Me." Daryl grunted.

----

        "His face?" Brandy asked in horror. She shook her head as she passed the wine you snagged back to you after taking a sizeable gulp. You nodded and tilted the bottle back, chugging a few mouthfuls for yourself. You and Brandy shared a cell, partially for space conservation but mostly because Brandy said it would be just like sharing a dorm in college. You wouldn't know, you never made good enough grades for a college.

        "Yeah, man. It was sick. I can't get the image out of my head, you know? He was just screaming in agony and we couldn't do anything but run."

        "Well, get some rest. We both need it." She sighed. You agreed as you closed the wine and climbed up to your bunk. You didn't get much sleep, though. Your thoughts ran rampant, and you weren't drunk enough to quiet them. You tossed and turned for a while, earning a few complaints from Brandy, but your eyes eventually fluttered shut.

        The next morning you woke with a headache. Brandy was still asleep, so you went and found some instant coffee and made yourself some with room temperature water. No sugar, no cream, exactly how you didn't like your coffee, but at least it was caffeine. You were always more of an energy drink person, anyways.

        You yawned and took a sip, rubbing your eyes. D Block was always quiet in the mornings. You heard shuffling walking toward you but you didn't look up. You assumed whoever it was, they were just as groggy as you. No need for chitchat. That was, until  you heard that familiar guttural hissing. Your head snapped up and your heart dropped.         

        "Shit!" You shouted. "Fuck! What the fuck!" 

        You jumped up, dropping your coffee. Quick thinking wasn't always your strong suit. Your first idea was to throw a chair at them -- the two walkers that were headed straight for you, that is -- but of course in a prison they were all bolted to the ground. Your next closest option was a coffee mug, which did no damage when you chucked it at it's head. That was when you realized it was a familiar head, the kid with the glasses that always followed Carl around.        

        "Shit, man." You breathed. "How'd you die?"

        Gunfire and screams followed shortly after. People filed in with guns as chaos ensued, gunning down walkers and being taken down by them. Rick and Daryl rushed in, so did Carol and Glenn, and eventually with their joint efforts the walkers were taken down. Lizzie and Mica's dad was bit, and Carol tended to him. You searched around for Brandy and found her crying on her cot.

        "The hell was that?" You asked in disbelief as you plopped down beside her. 

        "How did they get in?" She cried.

        "No clue." You sighed. "If it's not one thing, it's another."

        At least I'm awake now, you thought.

----

        Patrick died from some kind of flu, that was what started it. Now you were all quarantined to D Block, just in case it spread. How funny was it that a common flu could end a life so quickly. Patrick was fine yesterday, and so was Charlie. It killed fast. You and Brandy decided if you were confined to a cell, you'd finish off the wine and play the uno cards you took from the library.

        "Draw four." Brandy gloated triumphantly. 

        "Asshole." You grumbled, pulling four cards from the deck.

        "You know, if I survived all this, just to get taken out by a fucking flu, I'm havin' a personal conference with the big man upstairs when I get there." Brandy said.

        "Oh yeah? What makes you think that's where you're going?" You wondered.

        "And just what is that supposed to mean?" She inquired.

        "Didn't you know? All rich people go to hell." You joked. She rolled her eyes.

        "You're a real sore loser, you know that?" She said. You glared at her. "Uno." She smirked.

        "I'm just sad." You admitted, throwing your cards down. "Thirty good days, and then like ten tragedies within twenty four hours."

        "Yeah." She nodded. "That's a loss worth being sore over."

[the-autistic-cat-queen]

My thoughts and feelings. 21/09/2024

Does anyone else who is autistic struggle to go outside without having their comfort items?

For a very long time going outside used to cause me lot of anxiety, so when ever I would go out, I would find myself wanting to return home at the quickest possible time.

In fact there was a period in my life that I didn't leave the house for over 3 months and maybe only went out in total about 20 times in 3 years.

When I became close to my good friend, (you knows who you are), I noticed that she would always take comfort items out with her, I always thought that if I did something like this, that people would give me funny looks, maybe make fun of me or even laugh at me. As you see, well I'm now in my 40s

But seeing how much comfort they gave her and how much more she was able to leave the house. it made me think. Why do I even care what people think, after all, if they don't like me, oh well, it's no real biggy.

Prior to this I had bought myself some cat ears many many years ago, well I thought to myself, you know what, I'm going to wear them.

So just like that, I decided to put them on my head and go outside. (With my partner of course). I was brave but I was no goddess yet. (After all, we are all goddesses in our own right. You just need to have a little self love and a little bit of confidence).

Anyway to get to the point, I started taking some of my comfort things out the house with me (including my new / technically old cat ears) When doing this I felt a lot more confident, I felt a lot more myself. But more importantly I felt happy on the inside.

Well yesterday, we were in such a rush to get to town, as we knew if we were any later the sandwich shop that we loved would close, (as it closes at 4pm you see) and we had only just started getting ready around 3pm. Well anyway, we had rushed so much that I totally forgotten my comfort items, it was only when we were at the bus stop that I noticed I didn't bring them with me.

Now feeling a little uneasy (but at least i still had my cat ears on) we decided to get on the bus, the moment we got to town we instantly went to the sandwich shop, which we then bought ourselves a large baguette to share. We then headed to the nearest gift shop which was less than a minutes walk away and I bought myself this beautiful wee me to you hedgehog which is part of the blue nose collection.

I instantly felt a lot calmer and a lot more myself, isn't it strange that in order to feel more relaxed I now need a comfort item. I do wonder if this could be seen as unhealthy behavior, you know kind of using comfort items as a crutch, but then I think, oh wait, life is short and I honestly don't care. they make me happy, and life is about being happy right? (Well if it isn't, it should be). At least it is for me. Finding happiness in things I feel is so important.

I guess my question is, does anyone else enjoy taking comfort items outside and if so do you feel lost without them?

Also since wearing my cat ears (which I wear everytime I go out) people are always complimenting me and saying nice things, like "oh I love your ears", they are so adorable. (which to be honest) always makes me feel good about myself and glad that I continue to keep choosing to wear them.

Here is the hedgehog I just bought and also some of my other comfort items.

My wee hedgehog. (I've still yet to give them a name)

My wee hedgehog wearing my glasses.

Here is my highland cow with my cat Cookie. Their name is Dilly Daisy Cupcake.

Here is Dilly Daisy Cupcake wearing my glasses.

Here is my Tatty Teddy / Me to You bear called Muffin (I bought them to represent my autism).

Here is Muffin again, this time with a couple of my Sylvanian families.

Here is another one of my Me to You bears. Their name is TeKo. (Their name is inspired after my good friend and partner).

And last but not least, here is another one of TeKo, this time with a little red panda that my best friend bought me. (They also are needing a cute little name).