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fafulous · 4 years

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Take Me Home (1/5)

Andy Barber x Reader (Post!Defending Jacob)

Summary: After the unfortunate events of the trial and after, a depressed Andy Barber decides to call it quits and start a mundane life far away from Newton. He decides it is best to have a fresh start away from prying eyes and alone, but he never thought his caring neighbor (and her son) would change all of that.

Themes: MAJOR D.J. SPOILERS ((The series is following the BOOK ENDING and not Show)), Sad and soft Andy Barber, Single Mother Reader. Cursing.

a/n: I hope you guys like it. We all know Andy deserves some softness :’)

The one thing you cherished about your neighbourhood was its calming silence.

Away from the hustle and bustle of the 21st century fast pacers. It did not give you any force to lead a rush life. No matter how hard life was you enjoyed this serenity, just like your neighbours.

You were the only one relatively younger in your neighbourhood, for this place was normally owned by retired elderly after experiencing everything life had to offer. But for you and your three-year-old little son, it was a second chance at life. All your neighbours except for that one loner house beside you was occupied by retired veterans and war heroes.

But that soon changed.

A man by the name Andrew Barber had moved to the house beside you. You got to know one day when you saw a huge truck with people going in and out of the house with clean and neat furniture.

Seeing all that, your vivid imagination went running and tried to picture how this man would look. Judging by the furniture (which made no sense), you thought your new neighbour was someone who would be simple and felt it wasn’t going to be someone who was, you know, old.

Oh boy were you right.

Once those packers went by, you saw him.

Andrew Barber was nothing what you thought out to be. Tall and broad, his back muscles would tell you its own tale. From afar you noticed his biceps never failed him too, for his arms screamed whenever he went in and out with a huge piece of cardboard boxes. His facial hair was a bit messy, like he is just moving into his new abode right after a sloth nap. You weren’t sure but his blue eyes had a dull finish that were deep embedded in his sunken face.

You also took notice of his sleek black Audi A6 which was parked by his driveway; It was not easy to peel your eyes away from its beauty.

This was wrong. You’re a single mother with the most adorable kid you could’ve ever asked for. After a struggle of six months your son Nikolai and you have found a hint of stability; single parenting is never easy unless you get the hang of it.

And you did.

Before you could offer any refreshments, your neighbours beat you to it. They were too kind. They were the elderly parents whose snobbish kids only visited once a year. Hence you decided to fill the gap in their lives. They loved you and you loved them back.

So now you decided that maybe when the time is right, you could meet him in a day or two and get to know each other.

Right?

—

This was new for Andy. Very foreign too.

To live a life without Laurie and Jacob was something he never expected to happen after the trial. It’s been a good handful of weeks since it happened. He did not even have the heart to think more about his son. His eyes would cloud with tears and the whole day would go wasted in drowning himself in sorrow and liquor.

He was still mourning after all.

So he decided to move. Move away from his house that reminded of his 17 years of a marriage that only seemed successful, only for it go wrong in an impulse. Move away from all of the local tabloids that hinted at himself being a next murderer.

Move away from his unsuccessful lineage.

Scattered around him were boxes of his stuff at his new house, his stuff alone. Laurie’s stuff was nearly packed and sent away to her parents’ home, the last time he’ll ever associate himself with her family.

Yes, her family.

Andy did file for a divorce while she was in prison, but that was a long procedure until it became official. However hard it was to sign those papers; it was as hard to let go of Laurie. Because if he lets her go, he has nobody.

A lone sunken soul.

The packers truck got in half of his belongings, the remaining which will come tomorrow. It was difficult moving especially with one single person. His neighbours were all elderly, so surely, he could not ask anyone for help. Also, it was another reason he chose this locality, he could be alone while he knew he lived in a tightly knitted community filled with respected war veterans.

He was extremely taken aback when many of his neighbours offered him freshly cooked food and refreshments to get over the day. He was thankful. They knew about his past and still they accepted him and asked him to reach out if any help was needed.

Andy’s day went ahead unpacking his clothes first, which took his time. He wondered if he’d ever need the fashionable suits and ties, he wore to work. There was a job opening at a swimming instructor at the local community gym; all he needs are those Speedos. But nevertheless, he kept then all back, trying to keep his mind preoccupied in cleaning.

But all that effort seemed futile for every memory crashed down when he unpacked his wedding tux.

He felt too claustrophobic, buried his hand in his face. He no longer had a marriage. He no longer had anyone to look after.

He no longer had anyone to look after him.

But amidst all this chaos in his foggy mind, he hears a lovely toothy giggle of a child.

He peeks out of his window to see a young mother and her small son sitting in their backyard with a picnic spread in front of them, while the little boy kept tripping over the grass purposefully just so he could laugh and make his mother laugh too. Andy had no idea he had a middle-aged family living nearby.

Seeing you and the son spread this familiar warmth inside Andy, reminiscing how he had this. It reminded Andy of a happier time.

Soon to be replaced with anguish. He would never have that again. He missed feeling the warmth of family, the love of a wife. Life never really gave second chances he believed.

He noticed you, a caring mother placing the little one on your lap while you fed him all the scrumptious food. He didn’t fail to miss how your eyes shined with happiness. A happy woman is always a pretty woman at heart; it is something he used to tell himself. A soft chuckle left out of Andy’s lips as he saw the boy eat the food messily, but you seemed to be patient, responding lovingly towards his naughty antics.

Her husband is one lucky son of a bitch.

He could watch you two all day, but that would be extremely inappropriate. Right now, Andy wanted his newfound house to look like a home.

Next day went by and it didn’t seem like he was getting anywhere near getting his house ready. He was waiting for another truck to get more of his stuff while he sipped on some bear till the movers arrived. They unloaded most of his stuff at his lawn and went away.

“Need a hand moving those boxes?”

Andy turned around to a gentle voice of the same woman who had he had seen yesterday with the small child.

You.

A chilly afternoon, he wasn’t surprised you sporting a loose, fluffy knitted woollen pullover with black leggings. Your hair was tied up in a bun and then noticed that he was probably staring at you for a long time.

“Uh- No. I’m fine, thank you.”

But you kept standing there looking at him smirking. He was literally struggling to carry all those boxes “Your body language says something else.”

When he looked up you saw his sunken eyes with even more detail as though the man hasn’t slept in days, “Would I be desperate man if I said yes?”

You chuckled, “Not at all. I’m Y/N Y/LN.”

“Andrew Barber”, he stretched out his hand for a warm greeting with a firm handshake. The feeling of his rough palms sends small jitters to you, but you ignored it; and just like that you resumed.

You helped him lift the bigger boxes to his house even though you knew he carried most of the weight. Two could always get the work done sooner. Both of you didn’t talk much for these 20 minutes but it was a comfortable silence while both of you took sneaky glances at each other’s features.

When you neared him, you realized he was lot more than just handsome. Sunken face was holding two blue eyes that would be enticing if he had put any effort to put any life in them. His beard was neatly trimmed although scruffy, just like you saw yesterday.

Andy on the other hand was just too despondent to, you know, check you out. He thought you to be a beautiful woman with a kind heart, especially after seeing you and your son yesterday.

He even thought of asking you about your son and family, but that would be too intrusive he wondered.

Andy thought you’d leave after moving the boxes but you insisted you’d stay to help unpack his stuff and maybe cook some lunch for him since he didn’t even unpack his kitchen utensils out. He was ready to accept the help only for a second.

The Andrew Barber he knew before the events of the trial would have gladly accepted, maybe even made lunch for the beautiful lady, instead of you, who graciously offered him help. He was divorced now so there was nothing stopping him.

But do you really deserve a fresh start with a lady Andy?

Would she be here if she knew who you really were?

His mind was plagued. He moved here with the intention of a fresh start but, he wondered if anyone would actually accept him. He decided for himself that they wouldn’t.

“It’s alright Y/N. Thanks for your help.”

There was no way a man could set up his home all alone you thought. “Mr. Barber, are you sure? I really have no problem. I’m completely unoccupied at the moment. Besides Nikolai-”

“No.”

You blinked at his curt reply.

“I’m good Y/N. I can take care of the remaining stuff here. You can go now.”

Looking at him made you realise how conflicted he was. His words likely meant that he didn’t require your presence but his whole demeanour looked like just wanted some god damn company. He didn’t mind your help at first, but at the same time now he was pushing you away. What changed?

So much for making acquaintances with the new neighbour, you thought.

Without saying anything you stiffly nodded, Andy realizing the offence written all over your face, and saw you walk away from his abode closing his door politely.

It was probably for the best to keep distance from a kind woman like you. He knew you were trying to get acquainted with him like any normal person would, but Andy was firmly grounded that he and normalcy would never go back again.

The minute you left he opened another beer bottle to sink himself. This fresh start for Andy was just bullshit.

–

You rushed back the minute you closed Mr. Grumpy Cat’s door and made a beeline to your home, only to see your son playing on the countertop with one your elderly neighbour.

“Thank you, Mr. Arthur, for taking care of Nikolai. I hope he didn’t cause much trouble.”

“I’d do anything for you sweet pea, Nikolai was a sweetheart.” The old man chuckled and turned to leave, “By the way last weekend’s pot pie was delicious. I had to make it up to you.”

Returning a hug, you thanked your neighbour again and leaped your son in your arms, attacking him with kissed while he spurted giggles. “Mommy it tickles!”

“Guess what happened peaches? I met our new neighbour”

Nikolai clapped his hand “Mista Wandew Bahhba?”

Your son was hell bent on knowing the name of the newcomer after he laid his eyes on the stylish black Audi. Boys always know their toys.

You nodded, “He’s a grumpy man peaches. I have no idea what to do with him.” And just like that you began speaking with Nikolai. He was your only company to talk. He never really understood anything, but your talented son did a fairly good job of putting up a pretense to hear.

“I offered him help and he says yes. Then I kindly ask him if I can help him more, you know like cook homemade spaghetti. But instead he becomes snippy with me?”

“Woh no,” your son whispered to your exclamation, which in reality was for his superhero figurines falling on to the floor. “I like his cahr mommy.”

“So do I Niko, but I so do not like him,” you paused and gave him a kiss on the forehead, “Guess we’re the only sunshine in this neighbourhood peaches.”

—

Days went by and you rarely interacted with your new neighbour.

Oh and when it did, it really never went well for you.

The first time was when a few standard posts under the name of Mr. Barber arrived at your doorstep, since he wasn’t available at his house. Like any other hospitable neighbour, you signed the post and made sure to drop it by him when he gets back.

"Uh Mr. Barber the post man dropped this by at our doorstep since you weren’t available. I thought I should give it to you.”

Andy opened the door with a few knocks and saw you standing with a few posts in a fluffy cable knit sweater. He took the posts from you, gently brushing over your hands. He perused through them quickly and gave you that conflicted stern look.

“I appreciate it Mrs. Y/L/N, but next time I’d like to collect my own posts irrespective of its nature. You can tell them I can collect it from the post office”

Was this man for real?

You crossed your arms and gave him back that stern look too. He wasn’t going to get away without you throwing shade. “Oh you know Mr. Barber I was just trying to be a good neighbour. It’s not like I’m dying here to get associated with you.”

He gave you a nasty grin which triggered you to make you leave away from his threshold.

Andy thought for a moment that he already crossed the line with the wrong woman.

The next time you met him was probably the last time you would ever meet him.

Your shift at the library got too late, for you were the Librarian of the local Library. You didn’t have to worry much about picking up your son late for he was at Mr. Arthur’s.

But coming home realising that he was sitting on the front porch of Andrew’s house made you park your car haphazardly in your driveway and run up to your child, ignoring Andrew’s presence.

“I’m so sorry sweetie. What are you doing here Niko?”

Andy interrupted, “Mr. Arthur had to visit the hospital. He was catching the flu and he didn’t want to give it to Nikolai here.”

You didn’t want to meet his gaze, but you forced yourself for you were grateful for this kind gesture. Maybe this Grumpy Cat has a kind heart after all.

“Mr. Barber, thank you so much for taking care of Niko. My phone must’ve been on silent if Arthur wanted to contact me.”

“Oh, don’t thank me Mrs. Y/L/N. I am just filling in the gaps of irresponsible parenting.”

It felt like a blunt hit to your heart. “Excuse me?”

“Oh, you heard me.” he whispered so closely that you could smell his musky deodorant with a hint of beer. Your son was out of earshot, sipping on a glass of lemonade that was probably offered by this man. “Trust me I know what happens to a child that is always kept away from their caretakers.”

He quickly went on to say how Nikolai was a special child when your son came near you both and how your family should take more care in your child. You never really listened for your eyes threatened to pierce with tears. No way were you going to cry in front of this man.

“Thank you Mista Wandi.”

“Anytime buddy.”

He went up and shut the door, like it was a personal aimed at you.

And you just stood there feeling numb while Niko tugged on your work coat.

“Let’s go home Mommi.”

The audacity to tell you how to be a parent. Did he even have a child? Does he even know how to it is to take care of a child single handed?

But those questions never mattered. No matter how positive you are in life, its never nice to hear someone spew your flaws on to your face.

Meanwhile minutes passed when Andy soon realised how he had royally fucked up. Everyday around 5pm you and your child would come along to the backyard and have a snack ritual while both of you played or read story books. For Andy, though he chided himself for his stalking behaviour, it brought him a sense of peace to see your son scream with shrills of laughter when he ran around the lawn.

He had nothing against you, yet he was being selfish.

I be mean to her; I stay away from here. Simple.

Today however, Nikolai sat facing away from his ypu munching on freshly baked cookies while you sported a tear stained face. He felt a twinge when he saw you staring straight ahead with a blank stare while tears rolled down. His heart successfully sunked when he saw Nikolai trying to wipe your tears and hug you. Andrew then sat down dramatically on his chair when he saw you breakdown into your son’s fragile shoulders.

Apologies wouldn’t fix this. It would, but Andrew Barber the resilient thought that being obnoxiously rude to someone he wants to be close to will make them hate him.

He never thought it would hurt you.

He decided not to take any efforts in an apology; or it could take more than an apology.

—

A few weeks passed by and you tried your level best and succeeded in avoiding banters with Mr. Grumpy Cat. Whenever you saw him, a flurry of rage fell over you. Was it your mistake you were trying to be friendly to your only attractive neighbour?

Strike out attractive. A mean soul was never attractive.

Andrew Barber on the other hand dreaded what had happened; he was a little too late to the party to realise that your house had no male inhabitant, except for that one man who had made a visit.

He soon deduced that you were a single mother.

Too late rather Andy.

And when he recalled what he had said to you, he wanted you to slap him in the face. Hard enough to have a bruise that lasted for a year.

Nikolai and you always woke up late on a weekend morning. Both of you always shared and slept in the same room for Nikolai had regularly occurring nightmares.

You never realised but you and Niko woke up a small commotion outside your house, or probably his house.

Plus, the other day it so happened Nikolai’s father paid a terribly long visit, pleading you to take him back into your life. He felt apologetic for what he did. But that lingering memory was soon cut off by Grumpy Cat’s voice.

Knowing his tendencies to irate his neighbours, (or maybe just you exclusively) you ignored it and began serving late breakfast pancakes for your son. But you soon stopped when you heard a loud, hoarse bellow.

“GET OFF MY LAWN!”

You looked outside of your window to see a bunch of vans and the reporters standing outside Andy’s lawn. Niko ran up to you and carried him over your hip for the little one heard the scary yell too.

Andy’s car was parked haphazardly on the pavement. A pair or more of reporters were taking pictures of him and his vandalised garage door.

“Oh my god.”

You put down Niko and asked him to play with his toys. Yes, you hated Andrew but what you saw on his now tainted garage door made you want to retch. It was such a distasteful thing to do. It appeared as if a spray can paint was used to write whatever it was on the door:

MURDERER, YOU WILL ROT IN HELL TOO.

Andy crouched down on his knees, his hands covering his face and ruggedly running his hands through his hair, while he kneeled down in front of the vandalism.

The very reason he moved away from Newton was now on his garage door.

You wanted to go out and help him, but your ego wouldn’t let you. Why should you help a man who was nothing but mean to you all this while?

Luckily enough you saw Mr. Arthur and a couple of his old friends admonishing the press. They threatened that this community was filled with retired war veterans and that they would charge them for community trespassing and disrupting the lives of people who have lost a limb and more for this country.

Hearing that threat made the desperate amateur reporters leave from the vicinity as soon as possible.

Andy stood up and tried to process this whole situation, looking around for any sort of help, only to lay his eyes on the faint image you from your window.

You expected him to shout and rage and ask you to fuck off from staring at his pitiful state. But he didn’t. You would never forget those embarrassed sunken eyes, silently pleading for help.

He didn’t deserve this. You have no idea about his past or who he was to garner such attention, but this was just cruel. He soon averted from your gaze and went on to thank his fellow elderly friends and made his way inside home.

Later in the evening, you caught Andy scrubbing the ugly writings with cloth and soap water. After a while, he took a few steps behind and saw that they words were still there but faded.

“I had some grey paint for Nikolai’s nursery, but never got the chance to do it.”

Andy turned to that sweet voice of yours and hesitated in meeting your gaze. He was embarrassed, for you stood there, giving out an arm to help him again despite his foul behaviour. He saw little Nikolai standing behind you with his shabby brown hair that reminded him of Jacob, clutching onto your legs while he peaked at him. He didn’t understand what you mean by the whole nursery thing, but he stood up and finally, both of you took in each other’s gaze.

Andy’s eyes were even more sunken than he had when he arrived, his blue orbs sunk in a sea of red. He must have been crying. He saw you were missing your feisty eyes that you always sported. Maybe it’s because you despised him so much.

“It’s not the exact colour of your garage door but it can do the trick I suppose.”

The second you handed over the paint to him, you quickly turned around to head towards your home. But Andy didn’t want to push you further anymore by being a dick. He was ready to apologise.

“Hey please listen up! I really am s- “

“No no no,” your voice trembled; this habit of crying while you were angry was just exasperating you wondered, “I think its best we don’t hold conversation Mr. Barber. This will be probably my last interaction with you; what happened to you was horrid and ugly. You don’t deserve that. That much I know”

Andy was hesitant, embarrassed. “Mrs. Y/L/N- “

“Quit calling me a missus! I am not even fucking married anymore-” you said drawing quotes in the air, to be interrupted by a little tug at your coat. You realised that your kid was standing next to you. And you swore in front of him. Great parenting.

“Oh Niko,” you picked him up and peppered him with a few kisses, “Sorry for that language. Mommy won’t swear again okay. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah”, the kid nodded and buried his head into your neck and hugging you tightly.

"Let’s go, sweetie. I’m done with this man.”

As you went away the little boy who was wrapped around over your shoulder waved with his short hands to Andy. To Nikolai, Andy was the one who had the coolest car and made the best lemonade (which he had when he was made to wait for his mom). He never really understood the intensity of adults’ arguments. He was just a grateful child.

It was only then Andy realised he had to make it up to you by any means for he stood there alone feeling like a real douchebag with a paint can in his hands.

—

Part 2

—

Taglist (IS OPEN): @sinner-as-saint @captainscanadian, @kakakatey @bluevelvetsam

@mrsbarneswillseeyounow

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#Andy Barber #defending jacob #Andy Barber x Reader #Andy Barber Imagines #Chris evans x reader #chris evans imagines #defending jacob spoilers #andy barber smut #andy barber fluff #chris evans #chris evans x you #andy barber imagine #andy barber angst #defending jacob finale #jacob barber #andrew barber

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words-writ-in-starlight · 4 years

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on one hand I get that Andy is Bitter and Jaded™ but on the other hand Nile is already pretty scared about the whole situation and I don't know anyone who would take finding out that they are a new immortal by dying well so I'm like "andy pls be nice she is just a wee one" also nicky and joe have completely stolen my heart and I'm only 40 mins into the movie help

okay I was the earlier anon (if tumblr didn't eat my ask) and I finished the movie and I understand more and hope I didn't sound like I was unnecessarily bashing on andy for being "mean" to nile if that makes sense

Oh, not to worry, I didn’t take it that way at all! Honestly it’s one of the things I love most about The Old Guard (what am talking about, everything is what I love most about this movie): it’s an action movie, a superhero movie, that does the jaded tired mentor trope without making that person intolerably unkind. Andy is really bitter! She is really jaded! And she has every right to be! She’s fought the good fight for thousands upon thousands of years, and she has never once been in a position to see real payoff. Without any evidence that she’s been making a difference, she’s still marched into battle and stood up for what she thinks is right, even though the mortals she’s been protecting have done horrible things--to each other, to her people, to her. Of course she’s so goddamn tired that she’s finally, finally, reaching the end of her rope.

But...

The Guard loves Andy! The scene of her meeting Joe and Nicky at the beginning, where she cups Nicky’s head in her hand and Joe spins her around while she thumps him on the back??? The affectionately wry way Booker keeps assuring Nile “that’s not the signal,” in the tone of someone who’s been watching Andy wreck shop for two centuries and kinda loves her for it??? I mean, goddamn, Nile and Andy are at odds for half the movie, but even so, Nile throws herself in front of bullets and off buildings without hesitation, for a woman who embodies the total destruction of her life! Nile brings Andy’s labrys to the lab, because Andy might be mortal and she might’ve been shot but Nile refuses to give up on her until she sees proof positive that Andy doesn’t need that axe anymore.

And I think it’s because Andy is still so affectionate, that it works for me. I’m honestly sick to the teeth of the jaded tired mentor trope, because it so consistently just presents as--Naive Young Character Is Berated And Insulted For A Whole Movie And Bears It Stoically And Eventually The Mentor Sees The Light, or more commonly the alternative ending of Naive Young Character Is Broken And Jaded And Understands That Mentor Was Right All Along.

And this isn’t like that. Andy is sharp with Nile at first, hard on her, but like--goddamn, I really understand why. First of all, “well, you can’t die and neither can I and if you go back and admit that to your superior officers, they will make you a lab rat forever, so how about instead we go to France” is...a hard sell. I get why she went for Show over Tell, with that being the situation on the table. I mean, damn, I bet she stabbed Booker, too. But second of all, Andy is just off the worst case scenario. Her family was tricked into exposing themselves, on purpose, to someone who wants that information for purposes yet unknown but certainly nefarious. She doesn’t have time to bring Nile in gradually. She could’ve been nicer! But she couldn’t have been slower.

And then--once Andy is back on steadier ground, in a safehouse with people she trusts, she’s not--softer. But she’s not cruel. She doesn’t berate Nile for wanting to speak to her family, she doesn’t call her stupid and naive for not knowing how to handle this. When Nile says she won’t go with them to get Joe and Nicky, that she doesn’t want to kill people, that she wants to spend time with the people she loves, Andy lets her go. It’s not a test, it’s not some reverse psychology bullshit, it’s just--

Andy sees that Nile is young and scared and hopelessly out of her depth, and she decides I don’t want to break this girl, I don’t want to hurt her, I don’t think this is a good idea but I want her to live her life with as much joy as possible.

Andy is bitter and jaded and tired and old, so fucking old, but she’s not unkind. She shows love freely, she feels everything down to her bones, she looks at Nile (she’s only a baby, she says, heartsick over the picture Joe draws) and she doesn’t make Nile prove herself, just instantly and unflinchingly extends her family to include this new lost orphan of mortality.

I think the thing that makes me love Andy in all her world-weariness is that, even after all her thousands of years of exhaustion, she is the kind of person who, against her better judgement, puts her secret, her family, her immortal freedom at risk, because she wants to save some kids.

#the old guard #andromache of scythia #andromache the scythian #I! LOVE! HER!#I LOVE HER!!!!!#i have a whole Thesis about why andy thinks that nile has the potential to be...well. her.#it's about the 'i go first' scene and i am absolutely dying over it #i really want to write a fic of the next time joe and nicky and nile go on a mission--a mission to dangerous for their newly mortal leader #(even in the body armor that nile has forced her to buy and adapt to)#and they're at the door of the target location and nile puts her shoulders back and says in an undertone 'i go first'#nicky and joe shoot her a look as if to say 'are you sure'#and over their comms andy says with a smile in her voice 'she goes first'#a queue we will keep and our honor someday avenge #Anonymous #asked and answered

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wild-flower-art · 4 years

Text

The Old Guard- Andy x Reader (F/F)

Guess who’s back and betta than evaaa? I’m so sorry it took me almost 2 whole ass months to post the 3rd chapter. With school starting up again, the part of uni I work at got fuckin hectic. Luckily that part of my life has settled a bit (for now), and now it’s time to get back on track in other parts of my life...writing being one of them. Enjoy!

Chapter 2

Chapter 3 – Help us (I think I’m sticking to 3rd-person POV-- 2,975 word count)

Darkness engulfs (y/n) as she enters the house, only able to see and follow the light from her flashlight. Her suit is weighing heavily on her body, her helmet obstructing her vision but protecting her all the same. She does her best to get out as quickly as possible, the SCBA tank only allowing for at least 30 minutes to get in, do her job, and get out. Some of (y/n)’s team are trying to extinguish the fire that just won’t let up, and the rest of them have been sent in to get people out. (Y/n) sees there’s a basement door in the kitchen. She radios in to her team that she’s going down. She can hear screams. Girls crying out for help. The further down into the basement she goes the darker it becomes. This is where the fire started. She reaches the bottom of the stairs and can hear the screams even louder now. Her flashlight shines on another door. That’s where they are. (Y/n) tries to calmly yet quickly get the door latches unlocked with her bolt cutters. Their screams are getting louder. They know they’re being saved. Before she can get the door open there’s an explosion behind her, knocking (y/n) forward…

She awakes with a start, having almost rolled off the bed. Her heart is racing, blood running cold through your body, left side of her torso throbbing with pain. (Y/n) is damp with sweat, soaking through her shirt. She searches for her lamp, but then remembers she’s not at home. She then reaches for a candle and lighter, flinching slightly at the sight of the flame.

It was just a dream.

…But it really wasn’t. It’s a memory that not even sleep can help her escape from. Before she can focus too much on what she did wrong, and what she could’ve done better, she hears a light tapping at the door. Her breathing hitches in her throat, but then releases itself when she realize it’s Nile, the light from the main room illuminating (y/n)’s—no, not her room—the guest room, probably. Not at all decorated or welcoming. It looks like a room used for storage, not being meant for personal use.

Nile whispers, “Hey, are you okay? I thought I heard crying.”

“Yeah, I’m fine, Nile. Thank you. Just a….bad dream.”

“You have those often?”

“Yeah, too often.”

“You’re not the most peaceful of sleepers then, huh? As an ex-Marine I know how that feels.”

“An ex-Marine?”

Nile stammers, “Oh, yeah, uh I was in for a few years before I got injured, and was uhmm discharged.” She tries to hold eye contact, but then looks away after a beat. (Y/n) feels like she overstepped a line she didn’t know existed.

“Oh…I’m sorry.”

“Nah, it’s okay. It was for the best, I’m sure. Maybe. I don’t know. Soooo....can I ask what you dream about?”

(y/n) sighs, “Before moving here to England I used to be a firefighter back home. We had been called out to the scene of a possible trafficking house the feds had been keeping an eye on. It had caught fire rather quickly, so we had to move just as fast, if not faster.”

(Y/n) looks down at her hands that she didn’t realize were clenched into fists. She inhales slowly so as not to cause more pain to her diaphragm, and on a shuddery exhale (y/n) releases the tension in her hands and shoulders. Fuck, my body hurts.

“I had gone down to the basement where I heard the screaming of young women and girls…kids…” A lump forms in her throat she tries to swallow down before continuing, “I was so close to getting them out, but then something went off behind me, knocking me forward. It felt like I was being tackled by a large animal or something, knocking me out cold. My dream usually ends there.”

“What happened after? In real life, I mean.”

“My team was able to get me out of there, the girls weren’t so lucky. The next thing I remember is waking up in a hospital bed about a week later. I quit shortly after when I heard the traffickers who had the girls in the house weren’t caught. I felt like I owed it to them to keep future girls from being victimized like that. I followed them here to England, but the trail ran cold about a month ago. I’ve been teaching self-defense classes to women, young girls, and non-binary kids since I’ve arrived here to be of use and pass the time, maybe make some money…oh shit, speaking of, where’s my phone? I need to contact my classes and cancel.” (Y/n) starts patting down her pockets and aimlessly checking the sheets and under pillows for her phone.

“Oh, uhm…I don’t remember you having a phone on you when we brought you. Maybe it fell out at the building?”

“Fuck. Well, I’ll contact them tomorrow when I leave from here.”

“Leave? No, you shouldn’t leave. You should stay until you’re healed up.”

“I don’t think your friends want me around for too long. I was gonna suggest I go to a hospital, but looks like you know your way around a bandage and sutures.” She says, examining her wound.

“Yeah, well, it helps to know those things out in the field. Anyway, please stay. We insist. And I’ll help you contact your class tomorrow. In the meantime, you should really get some rest. You look like shit.” She says the last part half-heartedly and with a smirk.

“Aw gee thanks, jerk”, (y/n) chuckles.

Nile starts to exit the room before (y/n) stops her. “Hey, Nile? I mean it, thank you.”

She smiles and nods before closing the door behind her. (Y/n) falls asleep as soon as her head hits the pillow and she closes her eyes, her body welcoming rest once again.

Nile makes her way up the stairs to her bedroom that she’s sharing with Andy since Andy gave (y/n) her room to recover in. That downstairs bedroom and couch in the livingroom give her easy access to the front and back doors in case something is amiss. It takes Andy too long to get settled, not used to resting in a room so far away from where possible intruders can enter. She starts to roll out of her makeshift bed to head downstairs, but Nile makes her way into the room, stopping Andy dead in her tracks.

“What do you think you’re doing?” She asks, hands on her hips.

“I can’t sleep in here, Nile. I’m sorry. I have to go downstairs and keep watch.”

“No, you don’t. Nicky and Joe agreed to take turns staying awake tonight. You need to learn how to relax. You can’t heal yourself the way we can anymore, so you need to give your body some time to rest so you don’t burn out. We’ve been over this! Any less sleep and you’ll look as exhausted as (Y/N). Jesus! You’re like a stubborn old person, too set in their w—“, before she can finish her reprimanding rant a pillow smacks her square in the face, earning a laugh from Andy, pleased that she caught Nile off guard.

“That’s not funny”, she says throwing the pillow back in Andy’s direction.

“Well, if it’s not funny then why am I still laughing?” Andy says between giggle fits. It’s becoming a common occurrence to see Andy like this. Lighthearted laughs and jokes that the guys said hadn’t ever happened this often, not in a long while, so Nile smiles and lets her have her moment before she has to dampen the mood.

“(Y/N) asked for her phone.” Andy stops laughing and instinctively reaches for the phone that lays in her coat pocket. “She teaches a self-defense class and needs to cancel for the next few days, maybe even weeks.”

“What did you tell her?”

“That I don’t remember seeing a phone when we brought her here and that she probably dropped it at the building…She doesn’t know who or what we are, so why are you keeping it?”

“You can never be too careful, Nile. She can’t just update people on where she is and expect people not to look for her. She might not know who we are, but we need to limit her access to the outside, at least for now.” This earns her an incredulous look from Nile. “Just trust me, okay?”

“Alright, boss. Now, can you please lay back down and get some sleep?” Nile asks as she gets into her bed.

It takes Andy a while to get settled, but when she finally does she can’t seem to manage to quiet her racing thoughts.

“I can hear you thinking, Andy! What is it?”

“You said if I didn’t get sleep I’d look as exhausted as (Y/N). What did you mean by that? Was she awake when you went downstairs to lock up?”

“Uhh, yeah. She was having a nightmare about something that happened when she was a firefighter. Just before she moved here her team was sent out to a burning building, turns out that was a trafficking holding house, possibly run by the same people who run the one we raided last night. But that’s just me putting two and two together. She said her trail ran cold, so she’s been keeping busy with her classes.”

“How much does she know?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t think to ask. She looked so tired and sad, I just needed to get out of her hair so she could rest. Now, sleep!” Nile tosses a pillow at Andy’s head this time.

Andy turned on to her side so Nile wouldn’t see her still awake. I should pick (Y/N)’s brain on what she knows about those people who set that house on fire. Maybe she can help us.

(Y/N) slept through the rest of the following day, not giving Andy time to ask her what she knows, but, instead, giving Andy time to talk to Nile, Joe, and Nicky about (Y/N) and if they think she’d be willing to help.

“She’s come this far to find out who hurt, and continues to hurt, those girls. I’m sure this will give her more purpose to continue on her journey”, Joe speaks up from behind his cup of coffee.

“Should we have Copley do some digging on her? Just to see where she comes from, and maybe find any paper trails to where she’s been following those disgusting human beings through?”, Nicky says as he makes his way back to the dining table, pulling a seat from across Joe and next to Andy.

“I contacted him earlier, he’s on it. He said he’d get back to us by the end of the day. Should be hearing from him any moment now.” Andy turns her head to look at her bedroom door. Still no movement. They’ve done multiple checks on (Y/N) throughout the day. Each time they were either met with groans, signaling them to go away, or with light snoring. With drool lightly dribbling from her mouth, she’s obviously getting the kind of rest Nile wishes Andy would allow herself to get. I’ll rest when I’m dead. Reminding herself and the team that she is on borrowed time, and she doesn’t want to waste whatever time she has left worrying about menial things like resting. Though (Y/N) makes it look so comfortable.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone look so peaceful while sleeping.

She’s shaken from her thoughts as Nile scoots out of her chair to stand. “Well, I’m off to bed.”

“We’ll head in for the night as well.” Joe says, getting up and wrapping his arm around Nicky and then rubbing the middle of his back.

“Goodnight, boss” they call out in unison as they head up the stairs.

“Night.”

It’s maybe about 45 minutes after the rest of the team has gone up to bed, and a couple of glasses of vodka later, that Andy receives a message from Copley with several attachments of what he found on (Y/N).

Here’s all I could find. Hope this will suffice.

Got it. She quickly types in response. She’s curious to open the files, but it’s getting late and she wants to look at this new information with the team. She double, triple checks and locks the doors, and makes sure the windows are all securely latched. She and Nile would be taking turns watching over the house, and she has first watch. She turns off all the lights, except for a lamp in the kitchen, and makes her way upstairs to grab a few things to hold her over for the next few hours. She isn’t upstairs for more than 5 minutes when she hears a door open and close, some carefully placed footsteps, and another door squeaking open before being lightly shut. Barefoot, Andy quickly and quietly grabs her labrys from its case, shoves a gun in her pants, and swiftly makes her way downstairs and out the front door.

She stops suddenly when she realizes it’s (Y/N) walking down the driveway. She runs over to her, fearing she might be in trouble. (Y/N) turns around in shock and almost screams, but grabs at her left side and hisses in pain, having twisted her body around too quickly.

Short of grabbing her arm, Andy quietly yet sternly asks, “Where the hell do you think you’re going? It’s dark out! You could get hurt! Do you not have any sense to just stay put?”

(Y/N) all but ignores Andy and turns back towards the driveway to continue walking.

Andy walks past (Y/N) and stands in front of her. “Hey, I’m talking to you! You’re not going anywhere until we know you’re okay!”

Trying in vain to push past Andy, (Y/N) replies, “I said I’d be gone as soon as I’m feeling better, and obviously I’m feeling a lot better, so if you don’t mind—.”

Andy scoffs and puts herself back in (Y/N)’s way and gently pokes at her upper left side just over her ribs, causing (Y/N) to wince and hiss in pain. “Yeah, obviously.”

“What the hell?!” (Y/N) grits through her teeth. “Do you treat everyone you help like this?”

“No, just the stubborn ones I believe have the ability to help us in return.”

(Y/N) squints at Andy incredulously, “Help you with what?”

“Help us find the guys who burned down that house with all those girls stuck inside.”

(Y/N) stands stock still and dumbfounded. “How do you know that?”

“Nile told us about your nightmares. I also had someone do some digging on you, so I’m sure those files will tell me the same thing.”

“You had someone ‘do some digging’ on me?! You guys are crazy! Now, please MOVE!”

(Y/N) shoves her hand against Andy’s shoulder and tries again to maneuver around her, using Andy’s height against her to juke her out. It almost works, but Andy is too quick to turn around and put her leg in front of (Y/N)’s leg to trip her and hook her arms around (Y/N)’s waste to keep her from falling forward. (Y/N) groans in pain and frustration as she places a heavy heel on Andy’s bare foot. With her heel still digging into Andy’s foot, (Y/N) leans her body back and shoves her hands up into the small space between her body and Andy’s arms. With a grunt she pushes her arms out, freeing herself from Andy’s grip as Andy falls backwards. Pleased with herself, (Y/N) quickly limps away from Andy, all the while Andy is on the ground smiling, trying not to laugh at the sorry sight in front of her. She gets up and half jogs up to (Y/N), catching up with her in just a few strides. To add insult to injury, Andy keeps a steady walking pace next to (Y/N), who has broken out into a sweat.

“So…where are we going?” Andy asks, trying not to laugh at how (Y/N)’s brows furrow with frustration.

(Y/N) responds with a roll of her eyes and a huff before pleading, “Please just go away and let me leave.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that, (Y/N). We need your help and you clearly need ours. Please just come back to the house and get some rest…Do you even know where you are?”

“No idea.”

“Then how do you know where you’re going or if you’re going in the right direction?”

“I don’t, but if I keep walking I’ll get somewhere away from you guys.”

Andy picks up her pace and places herself in front of (Y/N) again, this time placing her hands on (Y/N)’s shoulders and meeting her (e/c) eyes. “Please. Help us find those girls.”

That’s all it takes for (Y/N) to give in. She puffs air out of her mouth and looks down at their feet. She notices a small bruise forming on Andy’s foot where her heel pressed down just a moment ago, a few scrapes marking her own. She feels a pull in her stomach, an obligation to those girls who needed her and a new obligation to the girls who still need her. She feels pressure building behind her eyes, her vision blurring, and her bottom lip slightly quivering. Fuck.

When she finally looks up her eyes are glossed over with unshed tears. Now’s not the time. She clears her throat and swallows hard. “Okay”, she finally whispers. And with that she turns around and walks back towards the house with Andy following close behind. They walk in silence until they reach the door. As (Y/N) reaches for the door handle, Andy places her hand over (Y/N)’s. Their eyes meet again as Andy whispers, “Thank you.” (Y/N) nods her head slightly before entering the house.

#the old guard #andromache x reader #the old guard imagine #andromache the scythian x reader #andy x reader

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fae-fucker · 3 years

Text

Zenith: Chapter 76-79

Chapter 76

Andi has a nice little poetic nightmare. It’s irrelevant. The next morning has the girls preparing for the ball, complete with dresses and makeup.

Some things to note include Lira saying that in Adhiran religion (which is global, I guess), one has to mourn for three days before “letting” the souls of the dead pass on into ... everything.

Andi tries to say that it’ll take time to heal from it all, but Lira is having none of it.

“It will take time to move past what happened on Adhira,” Andi started, but Lira held up a hand.

“My three days of mourning have passed. Lon’s and my aunt’s, too. Now we, and the others who lost loved ones during the attack, must give the lost spirits to the stars, to the trees, to the wind.”

Which basically means that she’s done feeling bad about the unexpected and brutal attack on her home planet, so that’s convenient. Well, if one of our main characters doesn’t care about her people getting senselessly murdered, then why should we?

She also lets us know that her aunt has fixed up the Marauder and brought it here, because of course. Lira wants to arrange for Lon to be transferred to the Marauder, and though she has a logical reason for it (taking him home personally), it’s only a setup so we know why he’s on there at the end of the book when Andi’s bleeding out and needs a universal donor.

Spoilers, I guess.

Andi’s mother, Glorya, intercepts Andi as she tries to leave her crew to their makeover montages, just so we can move into a scene where her mom is brushing her hair and babbling on about gossip and vapid high society stuff.

But Andi, of course, gets lost in a flashback that’s so amateurishly written it’s honestly embarrassing and only highlights Shinsay’s helpless reliance on flashbacks as a storytelling device.

Observe:

Her words faded away as memories took their place. Andi lost herself to them.

The whole flashback is written in italics for some inexplicable reason, even though it would’ve been fine as just regular text since we’re clearly told what’s happening now and what’s a memory.

Also, there’s one bit where the memory “fast-forwards” to a different one. Shinsay, this isn’t a fucking movie. This isn’t a screenplay. What the fuck are you DOING.

The flashback and the mother’s inane babbling are all there to illustrate how vapid and brainless Glorya is and how she only ever cared about her status and not about her kid. Glorya pretends that everything is back to the way it was but Andi curses her out for abandoning her when she needed them most and how “the way it was” was actually always shit.

I mean it’s fine. It’s all right. I see what they’re going for, it’s melodramatic as all fuck but it works for what they’re trying to do? I can see this as being a realistic way for an emotionally neglectful family to look like. I wish it was more nuanced and wasn’t just shoe-horned in here (Glorya doesn’t show up before or after this bit, this is the only time she’s ever present or even mentioned in this book in any meaningful capacity) for the sake of making Andi’s friends look better and for her to not have anything that anchors her to Arcardius, but like, I won’t say this isn’t realistic.

And then Shinsay can’t stop themselves and it’s back to silly time:

“Really, Androma...”

[...]

“That is not my name,” Andi whispered. She allowed the darkness to come up into her voice, the mask of shadow and steel to sweep across her face. “My name is the Bloody Baroness. And if you or Commander Racella ever so much as utter a single word toward me or my crew again, I will personally strip the skin from your body and wave it like a flag from my starship.”

Glorya let out a soft squeak. Andi snarled with all of her teeth.

Guys I can’t breathe this is too fucking funny. And not in a good “woo vindication!” sort of way, but in a “they really put this right after an emotional confrontation about parental emotional neglect/abuse huh?” way. They really thought this was ... badass? Revenge? Andi, sweetie, you’re, like, traumatized? Presumably? I can’t really tell. But maybe get some therapy?

Do Shinsay think this is somehow a win and that Andi’s threat means she’s fully released from the hurt and pain her parents have caused her through their neglect? It’s honestly written as if Andi just confronted her mother and her own hopes of coming back to her family in this one short scene, and then upon realizing her parents never loved her, she scares her mom a little and then is all smug and satisfied at the end.

That ain’t how it works, darlings.

Then the annoying Marketable Space Pet runs in and starts biting Glorya’s toes and she runs away shrieking like a defeated Disney villain.

Way to undercut your own drama, Shinsay.

The chapter ends with Andi thinking about how her crew is her True Family for the bajillionth time. Because we’re all idiots and Shinsay wants us to remember that.

Chapter 77

It’s the evening of the ball and Andi thinks about how she missed Bavista, which is apparently your generic coming-of-age ball held at Arcardius for every 16-year-old. I’m guessing it’s a yearly thing? The book never clarifies. Not sure why the fuck it’s here tbh.

Actually, it’s a pretty good demonstration of how the worldbuilding in this book is presented so here, have at thee:

She could still remember seeing the otherworldly dresses and suits float by her on the feeds as she watched the girls and boys glide into the A’Vianna House in the Glass Sector. They seemed light as air, full of pride, bursting at the seams with excitement. Once inside, they would be greeted by members of the Priest Guild, who would award each young person three items.

The first was a vial of water from the Northern Ocean, symbolizing strength. For growth, they accepted a single leaf from the oldest tree on Arcardius, known as The Mother, which was said to have been planted when the Ancients first arrived. Lastly, they were given a single floating pebble, no larger than a child’s fingernail, chiseled from the very gravarock where the Cortas estate was. It represented the wisdom of rising above.

Is this relevant to anything? Does this help you understand this world or its inhabitants? Does it tell you anything of the culture of Arcardius or its youth and what’s expected of them? No? It’s just a really generic list of things thrown together using Mystical Proper Nouns as glue? Weeell heeell.

Also what does “it represented the wisdom of rising above” mean? This is utterly generic and means fuck-all, that’s what.

Anyway, Andi’s admiring herself in the mirror. Her dress is very sexy, trust me, I can’t be bothered to include it so just imagine your favorite My Immortal outfit description. It does include sword holsters at the back, which are Andi’s favorite part, because she’s a strong independent woman who don’t need no man. She never actually uses them or brings the swords to the ball so ... Idk what the point of this was.

We also get some shit about how Andi actually LOVES dresses and being pretty but she never admitted it to anyone. But don’t you worry, this badass space criminal LOVES all things girly, because that’s feminism! Can someone check in on Shinsay? I’m not sure they’re getting enough air with their heads so far up Sarah J Maas’ asshole.

Admitting to herself that she looked pretty was something Andi kept private. She didn’t want to give her crew the satisfaction of knowing her true thoughts about fashion. How even though she was a fierce, hardened criminal, she could still appreciate the joy of a beautiful, impractical ball gown.

Huh. And here I thought they were your family. That’s weird that you’d keep this information from them, especially considering all of them seemed pretty excited to be prettied up in the last chapter. I guess they’d really just haaate the idea of sharing this joy with their captain, huh? Why aren’t you admitting this to them, Andi?

You’re saying shit about how “even though” you’re a hardened criminal, you can “still” appreciate beautiful gowns, like those two are somehow contradictory. Are you, mayhaps, ashamed of having this traditionally girly interest? Hmm! Interesting. Why could that be, I wonder? Why would having traditionally feminine interests or even caring about one’s appearance be seen as something inherently shameful or embarrassing, as inherently contradictory to being fierce and “hardened?”

This is all just so *clenches fist* feminist.

Forreal though, somehow Shinsay managed to take their entire made up GALAXY and make it subtly and not-so-subtly sexist. Good job, morons. Really girlbossed that one, huh?

The only bit I like about this whole mess is this:

The dressmaker had also accented her gown with a sparkling necklace full of jewels that Andi didn’t plan on giving back.

This is the one and only space pirate-y thing Andi does -- sorry, considers doing -- in the whole book and honestly could’ve been used to build her character more, but it’s just a one-off joke here. Wasted.

Valen comes to fetch her and we get some subtle foreshadowing.

“Valen the Resurrected.”

He stopped to look at her, brows raised. “What?”

She shrugged. “It’s what the press is calling you in all the feeds.” Valen let out a deep chuckle.

[...]

“Something tells me things are about to change for the better,” he said. “I’m ready to see it all happen.”

Andi wondered what he would do now that he was home with a whole planet at his disposal.

He deserved to have some fun.

Is it bad that I’m rooting for Valen to destroy everything? And this isn’t my villain-fucker coming out, I just want this poor bastard to absolutely annihilate Andi and her gang of acolytes.

Chapter 78

Andi and Valen arrive at the ball. It’s all very pretty and space-y and aesthetic. There’s a bunch of aliens everywhere. Andi sees a woman with funky eyes and assumes it’s a body mod, because I guess she knows the genetic characteristics of every species by heart and can tell when something is real or not.

An old classmate of theirs comes up to talk to Valen and congratulate him on being alive, then Andi reminds him of who she is just to be a smug asshole and the guy fucks off in a panic. She’s just so cool and badass, you guys.

Then it’s time for Valen and Andi to dance, and of course General Cortas looks like he’s about to lose his marbles because these darn kids! >:(

The chapter ends on Andi noticing Dex pouting in the distance.

“Relax,” Andi whispered. “Let’s give them something to talk about.”

She flashed him a wicked grin as the music began.

And as Valen spun her into the first move of the dance, Andi saw Dex standing on the fringes of the crowd, an expression of longing clear on his face.

Chapter 79

This chapter is exactly 298 words of Dex moping around about how he’s actually not over Andi at all when he thought he’d done such a good job of repressing his feelings, and how he should be the one dancing with Andi instead of Valen. If you’re surprised, you’re clinically dead.

#eff reads: zenith

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angelkurenai · 4 years

Text

For Jacob - Dean Winchester x Reader

Title: For Jacob

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader, Andy Barber x Reader

Warnings: None

Summary: Imagine your son being accused of murdering his classmate and the detective in charge of the case, and close friend of yours, Dean comforting you. All the while you wait for your ex husband to fly to town to be by your side. Even if all remaining personal feelings must be pushed aside for your son’s sake.

“They said there were some setbacks because of the weather, as if I hadn't had to deal with too many as it is. All flights are delayed again. Thing is, we are not going to board until it's 8 pm. And even then seems like too soon based on what the weather forecast says.” a heavy sigh came from the other side of the phone and in the middle of everything that you were feeling, in the middle of everything you were going through, you felt your heart ache for the man.

He felt hopeless and stranded away, and the combination was killing him.

You were sure of it. You already felt like dying on the inside, being unable to do anything but wait for the morning to roll in so that you could get your son out of- You couldn't even bare to think of the word in this case, let alone picture Jacob inside a cell like some every other low life criminal. But at least you had been able to see him not even an hour ago, you had been able to give him some comfort, you had been able to hold him during this difficult time and tell him everything would be alright while Andy was stuck miles away with no means to get to you and certainly no chance of seeing his son until the morning.

You couldn't help but feel somewhat guilty. Like it was all your fault, and maybe in some sort of way and some part of it it was, because he couldn't be here for Jacob the second you both found out the news about him being accused of murdering his classmate. After you'd broken up, and that too was your decision – or at least you had started feeling the need to be away, you had gotten custody of your son and the both of you moved away. You kept in touch with him, a part of you would always love him and he always had your utmost respect, and so did Jacob who would spend as many weekends and holidays as possible with him. For all that Andy was far away from you, or you from him, he couldn't be closer to you and your son.

It was only cruel fate that in this moment when Jacob, and possibly you too, need him most, he couldn't be there. Everything seemed to be against you today.

“It's alright, don't beat yourself up for it. 'S not like you can do anything about it. Frankly I don't think there is anything either of us can do for now other than wait for the morning to roll in.” you sighed yourself, resting your head in your hand. You let your eyes close, hoping the headache would die down just a bit but it refused to.

“And you?” his voice was low and hoarse “Aren't you beating yourself up for it? Sounds rather familiar the kind of voice tone you have there.”

“Doesn't matter how I feel, Andy. I appreciate you trying but I-” you had to fight back a sob for his sake. Because, you reminded yourself, he was in a much worse position than you, more on edge and more desperate, more helpless and lost than you. With all those miles between him and his son in a situation like this and no certainty of when he'd arrive, you could barely imagine all the emotions running through Andy at the moment “I don't think any of it matters right now, not how much I am to blame and certainly not what what I could've or could've not done. I can't think about it, not as long as my baby is in there.”

A small pause followed. Or it was long? You couldn't tell, you couldn't feel.

“How is he?” he asked in the end, voice more hoarse and almost a whisper.

“He's-” but a lump in your throat prevented you from speaking “He's not ok. He's clearly not ok. I saw him and-” a small sob escaped your lips “My gosh, Andy, he looked so broken and hurt. My baby boy in prison and he's barely fifteen. He's just a kid, he- he won't stand to be there another second. I- I just want him out. Gosh, I want him out so bad, I want him home with me, away from it all. And he- he begged me to get him out, he begged me and I- I couldn't take him home in that very moment, I couldn't even do that for him. What kind of mother am I, Andy? What kind of-”

“The best.” he interrupted you, voice firm, confident and sure in his words despite how broken and uncertain of everything around you the both of you felt “The best one he could ever have. You didn't even hesitate a second to think about the pregnancy even though we were so young. You didn't even try and you loved him from the second you found out we were expecting him. You had it in you because you're such a good mother. You've given all your care and love to this child, raised him with the best of intentions, you gave him the right principles even more so when I wasn't there. You didn't let us, what we had and what we didn't have, affect him in the least bit. You stood by his side and supported him all the way. You are the best mother Jacob could ever have. The best mother I could ever have a child with, don't you ever forget that.”

Wanting nothing more than to believe his words, you couldn't find the words to speak up about it. You knew this wasn't about you, down to the very last cell of your body you knew that Jacob came first as he had been your first priority ever since he was born, but there was only so much you could take. Going through this on your own even for a short amount of time was one thing, but to go through this alone and at the same time feel like you were responsible was something that one couldn't take. You felt like it was your fault, like your choices had lead to all this, and that ultimately Jacob's misery was your fault and you couldn't help but hate yourself for it.

“...and was told he spoke to the policeman who found him right?” he asked and you realized you had lost a big part of his words “Did you make sure to tell him not to say a single thing to anyone else after that? You know that if he brought up anything it could be used-”

“Detective.” you corrected in a low voice “Not a policeman. It was- It was detective Winchester. He-” you let out a soft breath just as you head the low “Oh” from the other side of the phone “I'm sure that even if Jacob said anything that could be... considered negative to him, Dean wouldn't- He would have told me. But I told him anyway, yes, so don't worry about that for now.”

“Winchester then huh. Well, alright, that's good I suppose. He's- He's a friend of yours if I remember correctly? He'll help I assume? Let us in on anything once they discover it?” you couldn't help but notice the stiffness in his tone and for that you couldn't blame him.

It was definitely not the time, though, so you didn't mention it. It had been a constant sore spot for years. Having known Dean since you were in a relationship with Andy, and with the first having done little to hide his interest in you, the flirting was given as was the rivalry between the two of them. Years later after returning home and finding Dean you couldn't lie to yourself that there was attraction. But you had a young son to think about and in the very end you had decided to not go any further with any of it. Being friends was the only option, closer than ever for sure, but friends.

And with what was taking place at the moment, you didn't even have the mind to think about weather past or present relationship would make this weird or awkward for either of them. All you knew and all you cared about was that Dean was the best cop in town and that he cared for your son, he knew him and he knew that he was good kid.

Dean believing in his innocence, which you knew he did, and trying to prove it, was all that mattered. And you knew it had to matter for Andy as well.

“Yes I uh suppose so. He's in charge of the case, by the way, so I think we really have an ally there. That's a good thing.” you admitted.

“He's a good cop. He's- that's good yes.” he admitted slowly and nervously repeating his words.

You bit your own lip, not sure of weather to keep up the talk given the direction it was going in or not. But fortunately, as if luck was finally with you for the first time this day, the doorbell rung and you didn't have to make a choice.

“I uhm- Andy, there's someone at the door. Mind if I call you later?”

“No uh of course not. Go ahead. Just... be careful, that's all. I want you to please be careful. I'll call you as soon as I board on the place. I hope that I'll be there within the next five hours. I'll try not to-”

“I'll be waiting for you.” you cut him off before he could even think of suggesting he be anywhere else but your home for the whole time this lasted for “Don't worry about it, I won't be getting any sleep. And don't think about trying to change my mind, alright? Alright. See you soon Andy.”

“See you soon, (Y/n). Hang on tight, our son's gonna make it.” hearing the soft smile gave you a bit of hope, that you nodded your head with a smile even though you knew he couldn't see you.

Ending the call you quickly made your way to the door, swinging it open before you could give it a second thought. You didn't regret it because of who was standing on the other side but because of the realization that dawned on you once you opened it that things weren't as the used to be and the reason behind it hurt worse than anything could.

“Should've probably been more careful huh?” the man tilted his head to the side, noticing the look on your face, giving you a half smile that despite everything calmed you down.

“I guess... some things have gotta change, no matter how much I don't want them to.” you admitted, your eyes casting down as your eyebrows pulled into a deep frown.

“Not necessarily, no. There are about a million ways this could go, (Y/n), you shouldn't give up on hope. Especially not this early on... Jacob's gonna need you.” it seemed like the mere mention of your son's name was something that both terrified and saddened him at the same time. It was enough of an excuse for the reason why he hesitated to say it. And he was only so hesitant because he feared what he saw happen in front of him in that very second.

Feeling like your throat closed up, you pursed your lips and hugged your middle even tighter. It was almost as if the events of the entire day flashed before your eyes, even the ones you weren't present during, making fresh tears well up in your eyes once more. It was as if the mere mention of your son from Dean made you realize that your boy wasn't upstairs, in the safety of your house, that he wasn't going to be stubborn to spend five more minutes in his comfortable warm bed or ask you to hep him with his quiz while you prepared breakfast together. No, your baby wasn't in his comfortable bed but rather one he most surely would be crying in, he probably wasn't even safe to begin with and you didn't know if he would be from now. It all made your knees go weak and you had to press a hand over your mouth to keep yourself from sobbing.

“Whoa whoa!” Dean's eyes widened as he snapped into action, reaching forward to take hold of your shoulders and help keep you steady.

“It's ok. I'm ok.” you said even if it was in a very low and weak voice. You both knew it was not true but he didn't comment on it, nor said anything further on the topic.

“Maybe you should lay down a bit? Rest?” he said, standing closer that it should be right if someone was to see you but you didn't care, didn't have the mind to think about it, when being this close to him managed to bring you even the small bit of peace.

“No, I'm alright. I'll be alright. I'm-” you took in a deep breath, although shaky, as you closed your eyes for a few seconds “It's all this, it's so much and I just- I never thought I'd have to go through this. I never thought my little boy would-” you stopped yourself, shaking your head with as much determination as you could master “Doesn't matter. Everything will be solved out, I know. Everything will be alright. I am sure.” you nodded your head as you placed a hand on his chest and tried to give him a reassuring smile “Just like I am sure you are going to do a good job of finding out who really did. You're going to be one of the people who prove my boy is innocent because you're a freaking Winchester.”

“Well, as far as pep talks go, you sure know how to give them, I'll give you that. Even if I'm not the one who needs it.” he gave you one of those half smiles that were filled with such care for his close friends and family that you couldn't help the small tug of your heart.

You raised an eyebrow, knowingly “I'd beg to differ. But this is probably not the place. Do you want to come in? I'm guessing you came here for a reason it wouldn't do to just... leave you here.” you slowly pulled your hands away, as did he, only once you said it did you realize you had not pulled away from each other prior to it “Unless...” you started when you saw him hesitate “This is probably not right given I'm the mother of the suspect huh?”

“It's-” he sighed, pursing his lips only for a second “Probably not for the best no but-” he looked with more determination at you, though there was a great fondness and care in his eyes too “Nobody can blame me if I care to see on how a friend is doing during such a hard moment. And if they do, well, I'd like to see them try.” his smile was mostly reassuring, knowing how you needed it more than you did yourself.

You did let out a small inaudible sigh of relief and moved to the side to let him in “I'm sorry if it's a bit of a mess but after... you know, I didn't have the mind or time to do anything.”

“Should've seen how my place looks like these days.” he said with a small scoff “It's fine, really, I'm just- maybe you could really use that sleep? I could... make do with a call or text, if that's what you'd like.”

“What I want is you here, Dean, and I'm actually very glad you are. I- I can't bear to stay like this all alone for much longer.” you both made your way to the living room before you looked at him over your shoulder “The usual?”

“You know it.” he gave you a half smile, nodding his head “Besides-” he sighed softly, as if about to make one last weak attempt and you would have been surprised if he didn't “I just had to ask, we both know it is not going to get any easier. And well, here's something I never thought I'd get to say, but you look like shit.”

A choked laugh, completely hollow left your lips, though your heart felt the actual care behind his words “Thanks. I never thought I'd say it but you look just as bad yourself.”

He took the glass from your hand and looked at it for a couple seconds in contemplation before speaking “I was following a lead. We've had it before Jacob was a suspect, but now more than ever I wanted to-” he shook his head with a sigh “I shouldn't be telling you this, but as far as the department is concerned, Jacob's not the only suspect. We had this file while investigations first started and there's history and a lot of maybes but- I've got someone in my mind that is very likely-”

“The real killer?” you breathed out, eyes wide and heart up to your throat.

“Yes” he nodded his head “Yes. Could be. But we still- There need to be evidence and there need to be so many things that can put him, well, where Jacob is right now, to put it simply. I've also got my brother looking into this, though, he's a great lawyer and- and you know that as far as it counts, I'm on Jacob's side.”

“It counts a whole lot more than you think, Dean, thank you. You've been here for us in more ways than I can remember, I don't- Thank you.” you whispered, your heart beating with a newfound hope.

“Don't.” he shook his head “Do when it ends. And besides, you know there's not a damn thing on this world that I wouldn't do for you and the kid.”

“Must have been fate that you found him then huh?” you asked but didn't exactly expect an answer.

“Yeah, about that.” he cleared his throat “He was the one that came to find me. Was waiting in the kitchen, came in through the backdoor with the key I'd given him some time ago. Sorry I- I didn't know how to tell you before. It's just- we had a talk about it and, well, I'm not his father so it didn't seem like... it should matter, not much at least.”

“And yet it does matter more than you could ever imagine, both for Jacob and I.” you confessed “You've stood by our side far more times than I can count, Dean. You helped me through from the first moment as if not a single day had passed since you last saw me, always closer always... family to me. And you've helped Jacob more times than I can remember. You were always there, every time he's been missing his father or needed advice.”

You could see the appreciation and warmth in his eyes, as he took a few seconds – maybe a few seconds too long, longer than was appropriate – to look into yours; just as you could that there was something that he wasn't telling you “Speaking of... does he know?” when the words came out, his voice was hoarse and low “What am I asking, of course he does.” he shook his head soon enough “...When will he be here? I can only assume that he wants to be here for Jacob and you.”

“Yeah uh-” you cleared your throat, always finding a sense of awkwardness talking with Dean about Andy and vice versa “We were on the phone just before you showed up. He's sadly stuck on the airport, flights have been delayed due to the weather. He hopes that it will be tonight though. I was- I'm waiting up for him, is all.”

“Ah so that's why sleep wasn't a plan.” he hummed, the words barely over a murmur “It's going to be good, not just for Jacob but also you. You'll need someone to-” he paused, eyes down on his drink as his body slumped a bit forward, elbows resting on his knees “You'll need a shoulder to lean on. I thought-” he scoffed almost a bitter laugh, running a hand over his beard, and you didn't dare interrupt him, needing to hear him out... even if you knew that given how the situation was, you wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

That didn't mean your heart didn't yearn to hear him say it, or at least get close to it. Anything.

“I thought so too, which is why I came here but-” he cleared his throat, straightening his back “Andy will be here soon and maybe that's how things should be. That's his place. Not mine.” he downed the rest of his drink in one go and fast “Besides, who knows?” he finally looked at you but his smile looked forced “Maybe when this is over, you'll get out of it more as a whole than you what you are now. Sometimes, situations like this can bring people, families closer than ever before. Especially when the ones involved have been secretly hoping so all along, it might turn out to have a happier ending. You and Jacob deserve it. Andy deserves it too.”

“A happier ending. That depends.” your voice was low, unable to hide how you felt for him not speaking up even though you weren't sure what you were feeling yourself.

“Is it Andy the only one who deserves this kind of happiness?”

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aphroditestummyrolls · 4 years

Text

Tagged by: @rhubarbdreams @cactusdragon517 @morallygreywaren and @ceraunos (I’m so sorry this took so long! Thank you for thinking of me, it is so flattering <3)

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

This was SO FUN. It was so nice to go through my old stories... I’m really proud of my writing. That’s something I never thought I’d say, and it’s something I’ve decided I’m going to do unabashedly from now on. <3 Happy almost April, everyone!

Gaining Heart (Spartacus)

The days following the defeat of Glaber had been a flurry of activity.

Agron found himself not only leading on field of battle, but leading organization and defensive strategy. Those fucking Romans had moved into the temple as if it was their own home, claiming all that they saw— but they had also brought much of their own. Food, wine, supplies— it was a gift from the fucking gods, and needed proper inventory.

Agron knew not how to do that. Nasir and Naevia were invaluable, cleaning each chamber of any evidence of battle, cataloguing lists and categorizing everything from barrels of grain to rolls of bandages.

Tangles and Roots (The Old Guard)

He was covering Andy.

The hangar was dark, shadowed by the last of the night while dawn crept up over the skyline outside. The plane was set to land any minute now, and Nicky’s eyes flicked from corner to corner, finger on the trigger of his gun and his jaw grinding hard. He could swear he saw shapes moving along the roof— the banks of high windows above them left eerie patches of weak blue light, flickering with little flashes of darkness.

It was probably just birds. He was out of practice— they had done nothing but sit around in the six months since Merrick, trying to heal the deep wounds left in their minds… and bodies, in Andy’s case.

Nicky swallowed, stepping that much closer to his friend’s side as they took their places in the shadows.

Still Awake? (The Old Guard)

He pretended to sleep. His eyes were closed, and his muscles were stiff, tying themselves into knots where he laid in his cot between Andy’s empty bedroll and Joe and Nicky’s snuggled up bodies. Booker refused to be comfortable— he refused to rest. The day had been rough, and the fighting had left a bone deep ache inside him, even while the physical wounds had healed.

All the Time in the World (The Old Guard)

The first time Nicolo and Yusuf bathed together, it was by the river— he wasn’t sure which river. It had probably changed names and countries a hundred times by now. All he remembered was that, by the time they heard the steady rush of water and cleared the brush and trees to the bank, he was half mad with annoyance.

If that man made one more grumbled complaint— one more clearly telegraphed grimace— about the supposed smell of him, Nicoló might have to break their truce and run the bastard through.

Kissed by an Angel (The Old Guard)

Nicky felt his lips flicker into a private smile, setting the pot on the stove to simmer and turning to look out the window into the garden. Joe’s garden.

He was humming to himself— Nicky couldn’t quite hear it, but he could tell by the set of the other man’s jaw under his beard and the purse of his lips as he concentrated. The weeds wouldn’t rip themselves, the overgrown shrubs wouldn’t miraculously be already pruned and waiting for them.

They were finally back in Valletta. Finally home.

Patron Saint of Satisfaction (The Old Guard)

It had been a long, long few weeks.

Joe’s shoulders were tense and knotted, and his whole body still ached from the train ride he and Nicky had taken all that day. There was a stifling, choked sensation in his gut that would rise in waves, up his throat to the tip of his tongue until he was ready to scream. The whole way to their safehouse, he brushed shoulders with his lover— practically leaning on him— and let himself take refuge in the feeling of Nicky’s warm hand entwining their fingers.

Waking Dreams (The Old Guard)

At first, they could’ve been anywhere for all Joe knew.

There was nothing in the world but Nicky— his scent, his body, his quiet sleeping breaths. Joe felt himself hover on the edge of sleep and wakefulness, the familiar thrum of pleasure making up the backdrop of his thoughts.

He nuzzled into his Nico’s neck, pressing sloppy, half asleep kisses to the back of his neck.

Here There Be Monsters (The Old Guard)

The morning had been blustery and hot. The scent of ozone made the sea air thick as it blew through his hair where they all stood, crowded around the lower deck. They all squinted against the bright sunshine, but Joe knew better than to trust the blue sky.

”If I’m getting in, I’ve gotta do it soon—“ he spoke up, cutting into some conversation that he hadn’t been listening to, “There’s a storm coming in from the East.”

Nile— still so young, so far from the American Midwest, and in her first field season— raised an eyebrow at him from behind her sunglasses.

He smiled at her bemused look, shooting his gaze over to Andy. Andy smirked, huffing a laugh. “If anybody knows, Joe knows.”

In Loving Memory (The Old Guard)

The wind whipped up off the water, cold and salty despite the way the sun beat down on them. It was alright, honestly— refreshing after all those stuffy hours in the car.

These immortals were highly resistant to normal modes of transport. Like a plane— a real passenger plane, not a Russian cargo plane full of drugs. It was all cars and boats and trains, low to the ground, literally under the radar.

Nile understood why. She didn’t want to end up strapped down to a lab table like the one they escaped all those months ago. She’d just rather take a nice plane from the closest airport to Provence and get to Valletta in a matter of hours, rather than drive through three countries and all the way down the Italian boot, just to bribe a fishing boat.

Feed My Soul (The Old Guard)

Malta looked good on Nicolò.

Joe leaned on the railing of their balcony, looking down into their old, old walled garden where his Nico shuffled around in the herbs. He was looking for something particular, the bridge of his nose scrunching as he peered at the mess of overgrown pots.

Joe beamed, the familiar, all-encompassing warmth of loving that man filling him up and making him feel expansive and bright. There was a cathedral ceiling in his chest, airy and golden with the light of dawn through its tall, jeweled windows. There was a house of worship where his heart should be, and he traced the lines of the other man’s body like he was devoting a painting to him.

Sono Qui (The Old Guard)

Andy left Booker on the beach.

She felt his gaze follow her, but couldn’t bring herself to look back.

It wasn’t as if they had never separated before— as if the four of them had been constantly attached from the time they finally found the Frenchman, even after months and months of dreaming and searching. There were plenty of times where they spent months, or sometimes years apart. They took breaks from each other, they traveled. Just a year ago, Andy had declared that she needed a break— was that last year of being alone the thing that led Booker to betray them? Maybe they should’ve stayed together. She never should have left him. She understood how it felt to be alone in the world… to lose someone so precious that life loses its color.

Andy had left Booker plenty of times. It wasn’t something she liked to think about now, but she had… She had assumed he was handling it like her. Somber and drunk, wishing for some type of release. They’d talked about it enough times. But not like this.

Brother of My Heart (The Old Guard)

Joe clenched his hands on the steering wheel, flexing his fingers to feel the stretch in the tendons, even though any injuries from the fighting had long since healed.

While driving away from the ruins of Merrick’s car, the adrenaline was still rushing in his veins, and all his self control was devoted to staying reasonably within the speed limit. The last thing they needed was to get stopped by some bobby cop while covered in blood and dust, with a bullet through Andy’s stomach.

Right now, they needed to blend in. So, Joe didn’t press the gas pedal into the floor.

Care and Feeding (The Old Guard)

Nile couldn’t ever remember liking the cold.

Even at home in Chicago. Sure, her memories of warm Christmas masses, bright lights on the tree, and gently falling snow outside the kitchen window made her throat dry with that familiar, wistful grief. She wasn’t sure she’d ever get used to seeing pine trees or twinkle lights without thinking of her mom’s mac n cheese, or how early her brother would wake her up on Christmas morning.

But loving Christmas, and loving snow? Those were two completely different things.

Going Underground (Star Wars)

Poe wasn’t sure what it was like when they broke through the atmosphere into Yavin IV. He didn’t watch through the Falcon’s wide front window as the familiar jungles passed by in a blur of green underneath them, and he couldn’t pick out the roof of home from the surrounding grasses as they came in for a landing.

The first thing he saw as he came to, bleary and aching, was Finn. They’d fallen asleep right where they were, pressed shoulder to shoulder at the holochess table, Poe’s head on Finn’s shoulder. It took him a sluggish moment to recall why his hand had its own throbbing pulse, and why Finn’s soft, dark skin was pockmarked with strange cuts, glistening with bacta.

The second thing he saw, swallowing against the rush of memories filling his fuzzy mind, must have been a hallucination.

STAR WARS VIII: The Battle of the Force (Star Wars)

“General, I don’t know how much longer we can hold ‘em off—”

Poe’s voice crackled from the shoddy reception, nearly engulfed by the constant bombardment in the background.

“Commander, the Resistance depends on taking down this dreadnought.” Leia kept her voice steady and strong “Stand your ground.”

Beyond What We Can See (Star Wars)

If he was being honest with himself, he supposed that he’d been feeling the Force his whole life. He’d always just brushed it off as basic intuition— he thought everybody felt this way. It wasn’t until he started seeing the way the Force was treated in the First Order—as a myth, a fearful, distant thing—that he realized how much he needed to keep his head down. Even though he only felt it in small ways, he was different. He buried the feelings, tried to ignore the nagging dread that said that he didn’t belong there in his platoon. That none of them did.

But that wasn’t something he was allowed to feel. The Force wasn’t supposed to be something any of the troops knew firsthand.

Like She Always Did (Star Wars)

The first time she left was barely a memory. More of a dream. He didn’t remember the fight they had, but he knew in hindsight that they must’ve had it for much longer than the tail end that he saw. Maybe it was what got his little feet out of bed in the first place. Daddy’s eyes were rimmed with red and Mama was pacing out her anger into the sitting room rug. Poe’s eyes were wide as he watched from the threshold to the hall, his little hand gripping onto the pillow that he’d tugged along with him from his room.

Love Will Help You Heal (Star Wars)

Every inch of him throbbed, the last dregs of whatever the interrogation droid had injected him with still pumping through his bloodstream. He was so tired. How long had it even been? Getting captured on Jakku felt like a hazy dream, as if it was weeks ago.

No one was coming for him. He knew that much—he’d probably be mad if they endangered the resources to try—but he couldn’t help but wish anyway. Death seemed so close, like a cold hand on his shoulder, by his side in the recirculated air of the Star Destroyer.

He wished they’d just hurry up. His drug-addled, sleep deprived mind didn’t know if he was asking for rescue or death. Maybe they were the same thing now.

Dying a martyr. At least it suited the image—Poe Dameron, Poster Boy of the Resistance.

Ghosts of Future and Past (MCU/Captain America)

His head was throbbing. His back ached. Everything in him pulsed with agony like he’d been hit by a train.

A train. Bucky.

“Bucky is alive.”

He could feel the winter cold at the memory, his eyes snapping open as the past few moments came flooding back to him.

There had been another Steve. Even without the mask, he’d looked just like him. It must have been Loki playing tricks again, it had to be.

Sweet as Honey, Gold Like the Sun (Stranger Things)

Steve was drifting after high school graduation. He drifted right out of the halls of Hawkins High and into a desk job at his dad’s office. If he was being honest, he’d been drifting since the Gate closed— maybe even since Nancy broke it off.

He wasn’t mad. She was his best friend. He and Jonathan were even friends now. No, he hadn’t been mad for a long time— but he was lost. The kids were going to high school. Dustin would be getting his license one of these days, and Steve’s last function to his little gaggle of brats would become all but useless.

The idea of not serving a purpose left the bitter tang of anxiety in his throat. Once the kids didn’t need him— and Joyce and Hopper and even Nancy— Steve would be left behind. Again.

Okay... Some of these may have been more than just what is considered “Opening Lines”, but I can’t just leave something feeling unfinished, and I’m a little tipsy, which means I am bending the rules <3

**EDIT** i forgot to look for patterns and pick my favorite! I mean, I think all storytelling/creative expression (anything from developing a recipe to composing a painting to writing a story) follows a distinct formula. And the best way to establish the story is by starting it with the most important element front and center— I almost always start with my main character. A thought or a feeling, a situation or a sensation. They’re the focal point from which everything ripples out. Those first ripples (the 2nd, 3rd or 4th lines) are usually about building the setting. It’s an equation that works so well for me, and though I sometimes shake it up by adding immediate dialogue or flipping the positions of setting and main character, it has served me well ❤️ i think my favorite has to be Brother of My Heart. It’s the first really, immediately big story Ive ever had. So many comments, so much warmth, so many kind people— it grew my confidence and helped me make friends. It reminds me of how truly wonderful fandom can be, even just with the first few lines.

I’m going to continue to bend the rules by not tagging anyone immediately-- it’s giving me weird anxiety levels, so I’m gonna wait and do it later maybe. If, in the meantime, you see this and want to do it, write me down as the one who tagged you! <3 Feel frrrreeeeeeee!

#spartacus #the old guard #star wars #fanfiction #writing #writing by ME #<3 thank you friends #for thinking of me #it was really nice of you

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ghostiewriter · 4 years

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62 or 147 for jiara 😘

So I decided to make my life a little harder and use both🤡hope you like it, Liv!

Word Count: 1.5K

Prompts: “I warned you. He warned you. Your freaking mum warned you.” // “Zombies aren’t real, I promise.”

“I told you sooooo!”

Kiara let out a small huff, ignoring the smug voice on the other side of the phone. In any other situation she would’ve retorted with her own wee snarky comment, but her focus was currently preoccupied with finding the four year old that had disappeared from her vision. She was right there and now she was gone, just like that.

“Sarah, I really don’t have time for this.” She whined lightly, scavenging through the mess of the living room and hoping that maybe Amelia was hiding under one of the toy boxes.

You see, Kiara may be perceived as this badass who says whatever she wants whenever it’s on her mind. And that is true. But she also happens to have this finnicky little habit of not being able to say ‘no’ when she really should. The Barton children were notoriously known around Figure 8 for being a pain in the ass, having scared away every single babysitter they had ever received. Kie knew that and yet when Mrs Barton was telling her the sob story of how she had no one to look after her children on the day of her anniversary, Kie still found herself agreeing to take on the job for the night. And boy, did she regret that now!

“I’m just saying—” Sarah started, but the brunette quickly cut her off.

“Yes, yes! I get it! You and JJ and everyone else I fucking know said it!”

“I warned you. He warned you. Your freaking mum warned you.” Sarah deadpanned. “You really need to get better at saying no, babe.”

“Sarah,” She let out a small huff, standing in the middle of the kitchen now, her cheeks flushed from the last hour she had spent trying to find these children. “Really not helping.”

“Is JJ not there yet?”

“He said he would be here like forty minutes ago but—” Just then, the doorbell rang and Kie could’ve screamed in relief. “I’ll talk to you later, bye.” She quickly hung up before she rushed to the door, never having been more happy to see the blond on the other side.

“You’re a lifesaver, Jay!” She sighed, opening the door for him and his…pizza boxes? Though he seemed to pick up on her confusion on the wee knickknacks he brought and only grinned.

“This isn’t my first rodeo, Kie.” He said with a grin, placing the pizza boxes down on the kitchen counter, along with a bag which with a quick glance Kie discovered was full of rented movies and some snacks. “I actually babysat a few times for some extra cash. Kooks pay absurd amounts when they are desperate.” He said with a shrug.

Kie wasn’t even sure what to focus on: the fact JJ was a babysitter or that she hadn’t even thought of bribing the kids with pizza. She had tried board games and even dress up, but of course pizza would’ve been the smarter option.

“KIDDOS, PIZZA IS HERE!”

Suddenly, two pairs of footsteps came running from opposite directions and the kids were running into the kitchen, eager and completely uncaring of the fact JJ was definitely not here before. Their focus was on the food and the exciting promises that JJ made about watching a ‘big kid movie’ after dinner.

She was so lost in her own thoughts that she didn’t notice JJ was standing next to her until he was sliding a plate with a few slices in front of her. “Veggie supreme, your favourite.” He said, seeming very proud of himself for remembering. “With pineapple, as well.” He added, watching as Kie grinned in response, happily taking the plate.

“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” She commented before shoving a massive bite into her mouth, this was the first time she had actually felt relaxed since Mr and Mrs Barton left a couple of hours ago.

“A few times, yeah.” He responded with a grin, arm thrown over her shoulder as he indulged in his own pizza slices.

Once the kids were done with dinner, Kie cleaned the kitchen up while JJ took the kids into the living room to play a game of ‘who ever can clean up the most toys in three minutes gets a prize!’. It was gobsmacking how good he was at this whole thing, truly.

Soon enough, a movie was playing on the TV and the kids had finally settled down on the couch. Little four year old Amelia found herself happily sitting on JJ’s lap whilst her older brother was sitting beside Kie, making little comments that Kie couldn’t help but chuckle a bit at.

“How can the dog talk? Can I get a talking dog?”

“Scooby should be the leader of the gang!”

“Zombies are much scarier than ghosts! They eat brains! They should use zombies instead!”

Time flew by and soon enough it was time for their bedtime, and Kie couldn’t have been more thankful for that. She gave JJ the job of helping Andy to sleep while she took care of Amelia, however, the young girl seemed reluctant. Kie assumed she was just used to one of her parents tucking her into bed and assured her that they would be back soon to say goodnight, but then she started crying and whining and Kie didn’t know how to make her stop.

The commotion alerted JJ and soon enough he was rushing into the room, eyebrows furrowed slightly when he noticed the panicked look on his girlfriend’s face before he looked over at the distressed child. He lightly nodded his head towards Kie, telling her that he had this covered before he crouched down beside Amelia’s bed.

“Hey, shhh, it’s okay.” He cooed gently, reaching out to gently wipe away Amelia’s tears. “Just breathe, you’re okay.” He whispered, taking deep breaths with Amelia. Kie watched closely from the doorway as the young girl slowly calmed down until she was letting out small pants.

“That’s good!” JJ praised softly and smiled at her. “You wanna tell me what’s wrong?” He asked gently. The young girl looked hesitant, fingers fiddling with the stuffed giraffe on her lap instead. But JJ didn’t push her, he let her take as long as she wanted until she eventually spoke up.

“I-I don’t want my brain to be eaten by zombies!” She cried softly, her chest starting to heave slightly like she was about to start crying again. JJ quickly shook his head, calling out to her so he had her attention.

“Hey, no zombies will be eating your brain, alright? Zombies aren’t real, I promise.” He told her, but she didn’t seemed awfully convinced. “And even if they were, you don’t have to worry. You want to know why?”

Amelia stared at him with wide eyes and nodded.

JJ leaned in a little closer, his voice having dropped to a loud whisper so Kie could still hear him. “Because me and Kie are actually secret spies. We stop monsters and keep them away from good kids like you. But you can’t tell anyone, got it? Our secret identities can’t be revealed to the enemy!”

Amelia nodded quickly, seeming much more assured and excited than she was moments ago. “I won’t tell anyone!” She said.

JJ’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Pinky promise?”

She quickly intertwined her pinky with his. “Pinky promise!”

“Good. Now get some sleep, we will be here to protect you.” He grinned as he stood up from his position.

“JJ?” She called out before he left.

“Yeah?”

“Can I be a spy one day too?”

“Of course you can, just gotta be a brave girl.” He said with a grin. “And listen to older spies, and this spy says sleep!” The girl wasted no time in nodding her head and quickly closing her eyes, arms wrapped around her teddy as she fell asleep.

Once they were sure the two kids were fast asleep, Kie and JJ found themselves sitting on the living room couch, helping themselves to some leftover pizza while they waited for the Bartons to returns from their anniversary outing.

“I know I’m gorgeous but this staring is excessive, even for me.” JJ commented jokingly as he turned to look at his girl, her eyes narrowed slightly as though she was analysing him. “What?”

“Nothing,” She said with a shrug before reaching for another slice. “You were good today.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah, you were.” Kie said with a grin before she leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. “Thanks for helping me out.”

“Hm, no problem here if your thanks include more of these.” JJ retorted as he leaned in for another kiss, and Kie didn’t stop him. It wasn’t until a few minutes passed that Kie pulled away enough to look up at him.

“You’re really good with kids,” She whispered, almost like she wanted to keep this comment between them. “You’ll make a great dad one day.” For a second, she regretted the comment, maybe it would be something that hit a little too close to home for JJ.

But JJ only grinned in response. “You think so?”

Kie grinned back. “Yeah, I do.”

He didn’t say anything for a few moments, basking in the comment a little longer before he looked at her with a smirk. “Wanna start trying now?” He teased.

“JJ!”

“Ouch, woman! I think you nipped my nipple! My nipple has been nipped!”

“Good!”

“Kiss it better?”

“You wish, Maybank.”

#jiara #outer banks #obx #jiara prompts #writing prompts #my writing #hope you enjoy Liv😂

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toonytoodles · 3 years

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Some of my story ideas, there's a lot here, but if you read let me know which ones you like/dislike, what ones you would or wouldn't read, feel free to leave comments or suggestions, and just give me your opinions 😊 So without further ado, some story ideas I had (some are still being workshopped, if you have ideas for those just let me know ❤)

Don't shed light on it!/ The scales aren't in my favor;

Avery is shedding and is embarrassed, making an attempt to hide it, especially from her friends... She's the only reptile amongst her friends and is worried that she'll be seen as weird and gross if they see her skin falling off.

A "little," cold?/ Emma and the giant cold;

Emma catches a small cold, and after falling asleep at school (and partially on the building), she's sent home, so Avery brings her her homework, and ends up volunteering to hang out with her and help her out with stuff until she feels better, which is a lot harder than Avery initially thought, because Emma's house is difficult for her to navigate without Emma... But she really wants to help so tries to get around without her, hiding the difficulty she's having

Big fear/ A crushed dream;

Emma has a nightmare in which she hurts her small friends accidentally, and can't stop thinking about it the next morning. She begins avoiding them in fear that she'll do something terrible, she stops talking to them at school, and eventually stops showing up to school at all. Avery goes to her house to confront her on it, which only makes things worse...

Cat fight/ Sibling rivalry;

Andy and Andie are fighting, more than usual, and decide that just because they're siblings doesnt mean they have to be friends, and end up spending some time apart.

Mixed Results/ Goin' through the potions;

When stocking the shelves in the shop, Avery accidently knocks over several potions, ensuing chaos when the effects of each vial takes place at the same time.

Slumber party / Girls night;

Ave & friends girls night! Followed by a camp out slumber party

*needs a little something

Love Bug/ A push in the right direction?;

Emma and Avery's friends work together to put the two through various scenarios in an attempt to make them finally become a couple, believing they need a push to make it happen. When all else fails, Andy foolishly uses a love bug to get the two to confess their love, as messed up as that is, it gets even worse once he loses the bug.

Big problem/Little problem;

Emma gets frustrated at being so big, and wants to be shrunken down, just for a little while. She asks Avery for a potion, but Avery refuses to give her one, causing a fight between the two, it escalates to the point where Emma steals a potion from Avery, that she doesn't know how to use, causing a little problem...

No title/ Lost title;

The gang faces off against a herd of memory trolls in the woods, but they don't remember that. They wake up in the middle of the woods with most of their memories gone, they struggle to get along and struggle to find their way back home, it's a strange journey back to Tradeskeep

How to raise a Draconic / Eggstraordinary origins;

A look into how Avery's egg came to be with her parents, and how they managed to raise her

Smitten kitten / Head over heels;

Andie and Sofia have a crush on the same guy and have a small fight over him, Sofia usually never speaks up about things like this, and it makes Andie mad that this is when she tries to take a stand, she's not giving up on getting this guy. Sofia gets scared and backs off, so the fight kinda ends up being one sided. Andie ends up being mean to Sofia over it, and doesn't realize how mean she's being until she does something stupid and petty she regrets

Avery meets Emma/ Emma meets a bean;

Kid Avery attempts to make friends with a nervous giant, but the young giant, Amelia, has never been around someone smaller than her before and doesn't know what to do

Oh Deer/ Magical mishap;

Clementine has been studying magic, and attempts to do a few advanced spells, all of which go horribly awry

The centaur of attention / Marely passing through;

A young centaur adventurer is passing through Tradeskeep, and during her stay she encounters a group of girls around her age, though she's a bit hesitant at first, she ends up quickly befriending them. She stays around for a couple days before she moves on, but she keeps the stop and her new friends in mind, visiting every now and again.

Dreaming/ Awaken;

Something happens to the small town of Tradeskeep, causing its people to fall asleep, all of them. People in the market, the tavern, their homes, the school- they're all asleep. Adventurers heroes and travellers passing through attempt to investigate the small town, soon becoming drowsy, they must investigate from the outside. While others search for a cause and a cure, the people of Tradeskeep dream of altered realities and terrible nightmares.

The big date/ The insecure dragon;

Avery and Emma have a date at a giant restaurant, and shortly after they arrive, something happens that causes Avery to ask Emma to take her home. Emma attempts to talk to her, but it only makes things worse... A few days later they're able to talk it out, and try it again, with it going much better the second time.

Evil Avery/ Dragonic Dopple ganger;

Avery means to take a Duplicate potion to allow her to be in more than one place at the same time, but gets mixed up and instead uses a Doppio potion. This causes her to be split into two versions of herself, a neutral good version, and a chaotic evil version. One Avery keeps running off to help people, while the other keeps running off to hurt people. Unable to tell them apart, people are confused as Avery comes over and causes a problem, then runs back in and fixes it. The two need to be together to be able to reverse the potions affects, but getting the two together and keeping them around long enough to undo it is much easier said than done.

Snow way to the dragonlands/ Snow way home;

During the holiday season, Avery is eager to go to the dragonlands and participate in the Fire Festival, but due to heavy snowfall surrounding Tradeskeep, travel is nearly impossible. This makes Avery incredibly upset. That night as she packs a bag, steals several potions from the shop, and leaves to go to the dragonlands. Her parents go to check on her, and when seeing that she was gone began to panic and call around, trying to figure out where she could've possibly gone. Upon receiving the phone calls, people began to go out and look for her. It begins to snow again, meanwhile Avery isn't doing as well as she thought she would, she's cold, tired and hungry, and soon she's lost. Everywhere she looks is just blankets of snow, and new snow fall quickly covers her tracks. There's no way home now, and it's getting colder.

Avery, Andy, & Drew;

Avery Andy & Andie have basically known each other since birth, this story basically explains how they grew up together, and how they've changed over the course of time. Andy goes from awkwardly trying to be extroverted and cool to being comfortable with being a quiet nerdy introvert, Drew becomes her true self, Andie, and Avery, well, Avery never really changes. The three of them have been through a lot together, and this slice of life side story just tells some of those tails~

Water you?/ Wets be friends!;

Young Andie, Andy, Avery & Emma meet a young Pond, they're immediately intrigued by her, and well, as little kids, it's sorta easy to become best friends quickly

A new friend/ Hi deery;

Clementine's new to Tradeskeep, but makes friends with a group of other kids

Pink with Envy/ Not berry subtle;

Audrey starts flirting with Emma, and, uh, Emma doesn't seem to be arguing it... Avery tries to brush it off, Audrey sorta just has a flirtatious personality and Emma's really nice... But literally everyone who sees them talking thinks they're hitting on each other, making Avery's anxiety worse about it. She's really worried about Emma seeing how much better Audrey is, and she starts to become genuinely concerned that Emma is losing interest in her... She tries to keep her jealousy and insecurity in check, but Emma can tell somethings up. When they talk about it, something happens that shows Emma how Avery really feels, and Emma tells her that she feels the same way, so though Avery is still mildly annoyed by Audrey, she's not really worried about Emma breaking up with her or leaving her for some one else anymore. After what happened, she realizes how silly she's been.

Blank space/ Making my mark;

Ty wants to get his mark, and Avery tries to help him, but to no avail. They spend the whole day trying different things to try to get his mark to appear, trying out different hobbies and activities, there was bound to be something that he likes, and Avery intends to help him find that passion, but she gets a bit over involved and starts trying to push him, to help of course.

The egg/ Whatever it takes;

Avery finds an abandoned egg, and, sorta projecting onto it, is determined to reunite it with its parents no matter what it takes, cause no one should ever be abandoned like that. Her friends are understanding to her need to take care of it, they're quickly able to put together why she has to do this, and help her out with finding the parents, which proves to be sorta difficult... But eventually they find the parents, and everything's alright again.

Kalvins wish/ You remind me of the babe;

Kalvin is upset by how fast Avery's growing up... If only she could be a little kid, just for a little longer... But he never expected it to actually happen. Avery begins to age backwards, slowly losing her memory as she regresses. It's a race against time as her parents rush to figure out how this happened and how to fix it. They try to keep it quiet at first, but end up having to call in reinforcements to get this fixed as quickly as possible.

A head in life/ Do you need a dullahand?;

Frustrated, Sofia shares some of her struggles as a dullahan, which Avery mistakes as an ask for help. She attempts to find ways to help Sofia out, but Sofia just sees it as Avery treating her really weird. Sofia gets mad at Avery, and the draconic thinks that she's not helping enough, so this goes on for a while until Sofia gets really mad, and Avery realizes that she was just venting, and didn't actually need anything. In the end they just sorta laugh about the misunderstanding and become closer because of it. At least now Sofia knows she can a ask Avery for help when and if she needs it.

Swap meet/ The perfect present;

Clementine finds a magical artifact at a swap meet, but they won't take her money, they want a different item, so Clementine runs around swapping items to try to get the item she wants. Meanwhile, Andy and Andie go around the swap trying to find the perfect birthday present for the other.

Andy's birthday / Andie's birthday;

The kittwins are celebrating their 17th birthday! They celebrate with a get together outside the tavern, with their parents and their closest friends. They spend the afternoon getting presents from their loved ones and eating cake and ice cream.

*needs a problem/conflict of some kind

Sapphire & Kalvin / The pirate and the mercenaries;

Mercenaries Micheal and Kalvin are in search of treasure they were hired to find. However, they weren't alone, as pirates came to find the same thing. The treasure was in a booby trapped dungeon with a multitude of traps and dangerous wildlife, but the mercenaries were ready for anything, unfortunately, one of the pirates weren't. A member of the crew, a fairy, got captured in a carnivorous plant with no chance of an escape. While Michael went after the treasure, Kalvin saved the fairy. This fairy was named Sapphire, and after Kalvin saved her life, she decided to join them and became their partner in hired crime. Later on though, Sapphire and Kalvin became actual partners, and they'd go on to retire and open a potion shop in the small town of Tradeskeep. Michael would meet them again later on after he retired.

Dulladad/ A whole new life a-head of me;

A retired mercenary, Michael, meets a young dullahan girl on his way to his new home, and instantly falls in love, wanting nothing more than for her to be loved and protected. After learning she's an orphan, he feels that Fate has planned this and he takes her in. The two journey to Tradeskeep together, and the man adjusts to his new life in a small town as a black smith and a father, and neither was as easy as he thought it'd be. And although Sofia is happy and excited, she's also sorta scared. She's overwhelmed by the amount of changes happening so quickly, and struggles to adjust. Things are made easier though when Michael meets up with some old friends, and Sofia makes some new ones.

Ponds problem/ Element-emotion-al;

Ponds parents are having another kid... Yay?... Pond has... Mixed emotions on it... She's not mad at her parents, or against another kid, she just... She'd never considered her parents having more kids, she's been the only child her whole life... Everything's gonna change... Luckily Emma's a big sister, and she gives her some advice.

Rainy day/ Video chat;

Since its pouring in Tradeskeep, schools been cancelled and shops have been closed, so the girls decide to video chat all day to prevent boredom. We get to see more slice of life stuff as they're stuck at home for the day, seeing some of Emma's younger siblings filter in and out and wanting to talk, over hearing parents, chatting while doing chores or studying, stuff like that.

Ponds pal/ Invisibuddy;

Pond becomes quick friends with an invisible named Travis after being paired up with him for a school project. The two begin spending a lot of time together and become close, basically becoming best friends within a month.

*needs a problem/conflict of some kind

Wave hello/ Baby Brook;

Ponds new sibling is here! A water elemental named Brook. Ponds still a little nervous to become a big sister, but instantly falls in love with her.

*needs more, idk what tho

#toonytoodlesoc #original character #oc #avery trowbridge #amelia mcconnel #sofia hodges #clementine moores #andie and andy #andy and andie #pond the elemental #toons story ideas #long post #writing ideas

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stina-is-a-punk-rocker · 4 years

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donna tartt’s ‘the goldfinch’: an attempt at a comprehensive review

Includes spoilers, because I still haven’t mastered the art of reviewing something without spoiling anything, because I am a dumbass.

It is with great trepidation that I step on my soapbox for this book, partly because I don’t want to be Sandra the Soccer Mom at a modern art exhibition who eyes the work with a disdainful sniff and, “My Bobby could do better than that with Crayola and construction paper!”, partly because too many people like this book for me to be comfortable with dragging it through the mud. Not that I particularly hated it; I view The Goldfinch with the same detachment I reserve for vanilla ice cream and jazz music: it exists, and some of it is good, but it’s not something that has me frothing at the mouth.

Having read (and loved) The Secret History, I was expecting beautiful writing, excessively dramatic and melancholic characters that I will hate with every fiber of my being, and a plot that will keep me hooked till the end. Having read The Goldfinch, my sentiments can be summed up in nine words: when you order a Coke but get a Pepsi.

Theodore is insufferable, pretentious and just an overall boring protagonist. I’ve read books with main characters I hate (*cough* Gone Girl *cough*), and I can tolerate arseholery, as long as it’s interesting arseholery. Theodore Decker couldn’t do me the courtesy of doing even that. That last monologue of his? Skimmed over the entirety; I couldn’t be fucked to go through pages’ worth of introspection and Analyses of Life. RIP to Theo and his sad boi hours, but I guess I’m just different. Almost everyone else in his life is far more interesting than him- Hagrid Hobie, Boris, Mrs. Barbour, Kitsey- hell, even Andy the Weeaboo.

Pippa’s essentially a watered-down version of Camila. I don’t have much to say about her except: :/.

And then we have Boris. A caricature if there ever was one- the over-glorified alcoholic, the drug-addicted genius. Utterly cartoonish. Draco in sparkly leather pants, but not too sparkly, because our man’s Heterosexual.

I’m assuming Hobie was supposed to be the big, loveable gentle giant- the one character we all loved no matter what, the only saving grace- but he falls short. Again, Hobie’s painfully boring and I couldn’t bring myself to care for him.

The beginning is one whiplash after the other- we go from adult Theodore to young Theodore after he has a dream about his mum (who I became fond of, for some reason), to his first encounter with Fabritius’ painting that sets off this series of very improbable events, to his mum being blasted to smithereens (RIP Mrs. Decker, I liked you), to Welty giving him the painting- which, now that I think about it: how did Welty take the painting in the first place? He obviously obtained the painting before the bomb went off, but given that the story takes place in the twenty-first century and they’re in the Museum of Modern Art in New York, you’d think there’d be tighter security. And where was Pippa in all of this (the book might’ve mentioned why she wasn’t with Welty at the time of the explosion but I’m not about to leaf through eight-hundred pages to find out)?

The part where Theo waits for his mum to come home is genuinely painful. My heart hurt for him and his mum; in other words, it made me Feel Sad Things, and I respect a book which can make me do that.

But the fact remains that most of Theo’s problems could’ve been avoided if he did away with the fucking painting. At first, I assumed that Welty’s instructions to find Hobie meant that they were both part of some art smuggling gig. Why did Welty give Theo the painting in the first place? What was he supposed to do with it?

Theo had plenty of opportunity to hand over the fucking thing- he’s thirteen, just barely a teenager, and admittedly I didn’t make the best of decisions at that age (that’s an understatement), but allow me to say this: Theodore, you fucking dumbass.

What’s even worse is that at the end, that’s all that happens. They hand over the painting, get half a million dollars, and that’s it. And I get that if Theo had done that in the first place, that would mean no story, but if your character has to make the dumbest decisions to move the plot forward, maybe you should reconsider.

There’s of course the argument that Theo’s attachment to the painting has to do with his mother’s love for it, and him holding onto that last memory of her, but it’s not like he’s holding onto her favorite necklace or her diary, or something she owned. I dunno, it just doesn’t make sense to me. I just can’t get over the fact that he just hands it over and walks away unscathed at the end- it makes zero sense to my reptilian brain. To describe what I felt after that anticlimactic conclusion: much like I did at the end of Guy de Maupassant’s The Diamond Necklace, only far less entertained.

The plot drags on for far too long, not to mention there’s large chunks of it that could be lopped off. The large section of the story that takes place in Vegas- easily disposable. Boris is the only catalyst to the plot that comes out of it- Xandra and Theo’s dad are pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

And then, near the end, much of the actual story is crammed into a relatively small number of pages. And this is going to be nitpicky, but by the time that rolled around (reuniting with Boris and the sequence of events afterwards), I was… pretty fucking bored. So instead of turning the last page with the euphoria that ending should’ve warranted (minus Theo’s #deep life analysis), it was more of a ‘thank god THAT’S over!’

The final few pages- oh, fuck, no. It’s the sort of angst-riddled pretentious bullshit people write in English Lit. It reads like the musings of that one weepy drunk uncle who stays way past he’s invited at family reunions and goes off on tangents about Life and His Experiences and the World and the Futility of Human Existence and Nature and Death. In other words: it’s fucking boring. No one cares, Theo.

Going through this might make it seem that I strongly dislike The Goldfinch. I assure you that’s far from the truth; it’s wonderfully written, and a decent read if you’ve got time to spare. I just tend to rate a book based on whether or not I would reread it, and I doubt I’ll ever reread The Goldfinch. It made me Feel, and there were parts of it that I want to frame and hang on my wall, or make a throw pillow out of. The book just wasn’t to my taste, overall

#the goldfinch #carel fabritius #donna tartt #the secret history #tsh #books #book review #modern art #art #dark academia #dark aesthetic #goldfinch #thriller #suspense #bildungsroman #literary #literature

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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1150

survey by reckless-ryan

When was the last time you cried? Like half an hour ago? I saw a short clip on Twitter of Jessi going out of her way to comfort this girl on an audition show who didn’t make the cut and ended up bursting into tears as she was walking off the stage. I thought it was such a heartwarming gesture and I ultimately cried along with the young girl, lol.

Is there anyone in your life who you won't ever want to lose? Of course. I can’t bear any of my best friends leaving me. It’s already happened with an old best friend, and even though I’ve already moved on from it I don’t ever want to go through something that devastating again.

What is your opinion on the world? Unfair, for the most part.

When was the last time you had gummy bears? The last day I was in school before the pandemic. Andi had just done a hosting gig the other day and the organizers of the event had given them this jar of gummy candies as part of their compensation, so they shared some with me.

Have you ever thought or wished that you were someone else? I mean I’m always wishing that I were richer, if that counts. Doesn’t matter whose shoes I’m filling; I’d just want to experience living in a big modern home with a fancy coffee maker and centralized AC hahaha.

Is there anyone you like? Not in the way I’m guessing you mean.

What was the last lie you told? I told my mom I had left my Hydro Flask tumbler at Angela’s house and that I just never asked for it back, when I actually lost it two years ago. HAHAHA my mom has now been nagging me to get it back so I have to buy one altogether and stage a pickup at Angela’s place :(((

Name one singer or artist you dislike a lot. I cannoooooooot stomach Chris Brown. Fucker should have had his career ended more than a decade ago.

Your siblings just ate the cake you baked for your friend. Your reaction? I honest to god cannot see them doing this because we always make it a point to ask for permission when it comes to food lying around and making sure it’s for everyone. But if I ever had a different and much ruder set of siblings, I imagine getting furious and demanding why they did it. Baking is no easy feat :/

Your crush/lover just gave you a dozen roses. What do you do? There’s no such person in my life. But hypothetically, I’d absolutely swoon and be over the moon. I love getting flowers.

What would do if the person you like started sweet talking to you? Be wary about it and report to my two best friends so I can get advice and/or different perspectives.

Are you shy? I am at work, when we’re speaking with clients or planning with other agencies. I don’t think I’ll ever get over being a grown-up doing grown-up things.

Favorite subject in school? I loved taking history and would’ve taken every available history elective if I could’ve.

What is your opinion on school exactly? Everyone deserves a quality education, and it’s infuriating how expensive tuition can get to the point that it has the power to force children to stop schooling. Do you like to play with fire? I’m deathly afraid of fire and squeak at the smallest flame, lmao. I ask my dad to light up my scented candles every time. This is also the reason why I doubt smoking will ever become a habit of mine.

Are you evil? Wow, no? And I certainly hope other people don’t think that of me.

What's the most eviliest thing you've done? Probably some stuff I did to my brother as a kid.

What's your favorite number? 4.

Are you in love? No.

The world is going to end. What will you spend the rest of the time doing? Empty my bank account and buy all the food I’ve ever wanted to get, have a long road trip wherever my car takes me, and probably break Covid protocols and throw a large party with and for my friends.

Your brother ate your last favorite brownie. What do you do? I’m estranged from him but we live under the same roof, so I will probably do something pettily passive-aggressive. He actually did this a few months back but with a doughnut, and I remember complaining while knowing he was within earshot.

Do you still write notes in class? I’m not in school anymore, but yeah I consistently took down notes no matter how uninteresting the class was or no matter how often my prof would get distracted and go off on a tangent about something completely irrelevant.

Have you ever got caught cheating on a test? No. I’ve only cheated once but I wasn’t caught then because I did it while a prayer was playing on the school speakers.

Have you ever done weed? Nope.

Have you ever drank? Sure.

What's one memory you'll never forget? Being at Nacho’s wake.

How many people are in the same room as you? None, I’m on the rooftop alone.

Are you currently sick? Thankfully I’m not and haven’t been since last year for something not Covid-related.

What's one thing that changed your life forever? I think it’s too early to determine something like that, but at this point in my life I think my break-up would definitely rank high on the list. I’m just happy there’ve been more good things to have come out of it than bad.

Do you have unlimited texting? I do, but it’s a promo that I have to pay for every week if I want to keep having it.

Who do you text the most? Mostly media friends we deliver gifts or PR kits to.

Who do you call the most? I’m rarely the one who makes calls.

What's the longest time you've cried for? An entire night, I’m guessing. I’ve had lots of those nights.

What did you cry about? Breakup, general depression, feeling alone and helpless.

Your crush just asked you out. What do you do? I don’t have a crushhhhhhHHHHHHHHHH

You got caught smoking/drinking. What do you think will happen? For smoking, I’d get the whooping of my life for sure. If I got spotted drinking my parents would just walk by me.

Have you ever cried in school? I think just once. I was campaigning to have an executive position in the org at the time and the miting de avance was taking place that afternoon, and I got overwhelmed and broke into tears.

You friend at school gets arrested for doing something. What do you do? I mean in the Philippines, arrest means a completely different thing and the police here can arrest and kill just about anybody they wish to fire a gun on, so I’d imagine I’d be infuriated and share it on social media to spread the word.

How are you feeling right now? A little meh because this weekend was so uneventful. I’m not as down as I usually would be on Sunday evenings, though, because it’s the Holy Week and I only need to work until Wednesday.

Why do you feel that way? Whoops, one step ahead of you.

What's your favorite animal? Dogs or elephants.

What's your sex orientation? I usually just say ace so that I don’t get a confused look from people, but I generally don’t like placing a particular label on myself.

Do people have a problem with that? No. The ones who know have been nothing but accepting.

Do you have any problem with gay people? No.

How about lesbians? No?????

What's something red in the room you're in? There’s a static red light flashing from our Wi-Fi antenna thingy here on the rooftop.

#survey #surveys

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cuthian · 4 years

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Becoming a Memory, Becoming a Treasure Chapter Two

So, uh...

That took much less long than I expected it to. Still don't know where this is going exactly, but these characters are SO fun to write!

Thanks for all the love, everyone!

Love Annaelle

PS Thanks to my darling beta @juuls, who has not watched the show and has no clue what's going on but still reads over samples for me :p I'd be helpless without you, darling.

TWO

“Life is like a Beautiful Melody, Only the Lyrics Are Messed Up.”

—Hans Christian Andersen

REGGIE

Seeing Maggie again had… it’d soothed the sharp edges of something broken deep inside Reggie’s chest. Something that had been hurting so badly for so long he didn’t even realize it hurt until it stopped. She was an adult, and she was married—to a woman! How would his father have taken both of his kids turning out to be gay?—and had a baby that she’d named after him, and it didn’t look like their parents had been as shitty to her as they had been to him.

He walked home with Julie, keeping his arm slung around her shoulders because they could do that now, even if none of them knew why, mostly keeping their conversation light and easy.

He’d have to warn Alex, when they got back to the studio, that Julie knew that they’d fooled around and dated, and that the chances that Luke was going to find out were suddenly much higher.

It wasn’t that they’d intentionally kept it a secret… at first, anyway.

At first, it’d been awkward, because Luke and Alex hadn’t been broken up that long, and though it had been amicable, it felt a little like they were crossing a line that couldn’t be uncrossed ever again. Reggie hadn’t actually meant for anything to happen between him and Alex; he’d sought out his friend to ask how he’d known he liked boys, how he’d felt when Luke kissed him, if he’d ever looked at girls the same way he looked at boys, because Reggie did.

Reggie loved girls.

But… but… Reggie was also 99.9% sure he’d been in love with Luke Patterson since the day they’d met.

By the time Reggie had figured that out though, Luke had already dated Alex, broken up with Alex, and started dating a girl named Tawnie or Tiffany or something. So he’d turned to Alex instead.

Alex, who had smiled at him when Reggie said he didn’t know if he’d want to kiss a guy the way he’d kissed girls, shrugged and said, “So kiss me, see how that feels.”

Reggie had never really been able to resist a dare, so he had.

It’d kind of spiraled from there, and they’d just… kind of kept doing it.

They’d never quite gotten around to telling Luke or Bobby about it because neither of them thought it was a big deal. They fooled around when they felt like it, but they weren’t in love—they were best friends, and Reggie loved the hell out of Alex and he knew Alex felt the same, but they weren’t…

It wasn’t romantic love.

It’d taken Reggie some time to admit that though, even to himself. Alex had figured it out first—Alex always did know these things before Reggie did.

“So,” Julie said as they turned the corner to walk into her street. “Are you gonna talk to Luke?”

“About Maggie?” Reggie deflected deliberately. “Obviously. He and Alex might wanna pop in at some point too.”

Julie drew him to a stop and gave him a look.

Reggie heaved a sigh and hung his head.

“There’s really nothing to talk about,” he shrugged. “I mean, I think I… I think I’m cool with Luke not being into me like that, you know?”

Julie slapped him up the head.

“Ow,” he whined. “What was that for?”

“Oh, dio mio,” Julie groaned, throwing her hands in the air in exasperation. “I give up.” She stalked forward, leaving Reggie standing dumbfounded on the sidewalk for a second before he chased after her.

Luke and Alex were throwing a basketball between them restlessly on the driveway, clearly waiting for Julie and Reggie to show up. “There you are,” Luke exclaimed as soon as they came into view, rushing forward to grab at Reggie’s shoulders. “How’d it go? What does she look like? Did she buy Julie’s story? Are you okay?”

Reggie stumbled back a little, taken aback by the onslaught of questions, but Alex popped up behind him and steadied him with a hand pressed to his back.

“Ugh,” Julie snorted. “You guys are hopeless.”

She left them standing on the driveway, walking into the house after rolling her eyes at them. Reggie was pretty sure she was just going inside to text Flynn so they could gossip about them.

“It was fine,” he told Luke and Alex. “She’s—she’s great. I mean, she, uh…” His eyes watered and he swallowed thickly. “She named her kid after me.”

Tears rolled down his cheeks as he said it, and Alex made a soft noise before he folded his arms around Reggie and held him in a tight hug. “Oh, Reg,” he said quietly, leaning his forehead against Reggie’s temple, and Reggie sagged against him gratefully. Seeing his sister had taken more out of him than he had thought it had, and now that Alex was holding him and Luke was coming to terms with someone crying in front of him, it hit him hard.

Alex’s hugs really were the best.

Luke, it seemed, had finally processed and accepted that Reggie was crying and tumbled headfirst into panic, rushing closer too, pressing his palms to Reggie’s cheeks, rubbing at his tears with his thumbs. “Of course she did,” Luke said softly. “You were the best big brother. She adored you.”

Reggie sobbed dryly, pitching forward to tuck his face in the crook of Luke’s neck, wrapping his arms around his best friend. Alex moved with him, staying pressed close so that Reggie was effectively cradled between them, letting him sob out the tension, the grief, the nerves—

Letting him work through everything meeting his sister again had brought up.

He wasn’t sure how long they stood there, how long Alex and Luke held him and let him cry, but he knew that his eyes felt dry and scratchy by the time he looked up, and Luke’s eyes were distinctly red too, and he could hear Alex sniffing a little too.

“I’m okay,” he whispered. “Thanks, guys.”

“Duh,” Alex said affectionately, leaning in to press a kiss to the corner of Reggie’s lips without thinking about it, just like he had a hundred times before when Reggie had been upset, before freezing abruptly when he realized this was the first time he’d done that in front of Luke.

Reggie froze too, swallowing thickly before he dared to look up at Luke, who was looking between them with a bewildered—and slightly hurt—expression.

“Uh,” Reggie said eloquently.

“I—uh,” Alex stuttered, cheeks flaming, pulling his hands away from Reggie and holding them up defensively. “I’m sorry?”

“What is going on?” Luke said harshly, eyes flicking from Reggie to Alex and back.

Reggie opened his mouth to say something, but when no words came out, he shut it again. “Luke,” Alex started, but Luke shook his head and stepped back, looking at them with an expression that made Reggie’s insides clench painfully.

He ran a hand through his messy hair and shook his head. “Fine,” he spat angrily. “Fine.”

Before Reggie or Alex could say anything, he disappeared with a soft plop.

“Shit,” Reggie cursed, running his hands through his hair. “Shit. Of all the ways he could’ve found out.”

“I’m sorry,” Alex said anxiously. “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t thinking.” He wrung his hands together nervously, chewing on his lower lip.

“No, it’s—” Reggie sighed. “Julie found out today too. I was gonna talk to you about telling him, but…”

“Yeah,” Alex sighed. “Yeah, we probably should’ve handled that better.”

Reggie bit his lower lip before he told Alex, “I’ll go find him. Talk to him.” He rubbed his hands over his upper arms and smiled weakly at the other boy. “He’s probably mostly pissed that we didn’t tell him anything. And as much as you suck at change, Luke is just as bad.”

“Yeah,” Alex chuckled weakly. “Yeah, he is.”

Reggie could see Alex hesitate, could see him thinking something through before he stepped forward and very deliberately took Reggie’s face in his hands before pressing the softest, most chaste kiss they had ever shared—the first kiss since Alex had told him they needed to stop their romantic relationship—to his lips.

It tasted remarkably like goodbye.

“I’ll go find Willie,” Alex said quietly when he leaned back. “Tell him too. He should know before Luke runs into him and tells him something that isn’t—”

“Yeah,” Reggie nodded. “Okay. Good luck.”

“You too,” Alex told him, smiling genuinely before he stepped back and disappeared with a plop.

“Right,” Reggie said. He thought about where Luke would go, about where he’d try to hide from him and Alex, before sighing. There really was only one spot Luke would go to.

“Here goes nothing,” he told himself, and popped away.

------------

MAGGIE

Maggie walked into the office with a bit of a spring in her step, the bracelet that her brother had once made her now sized to fit her wrist and sitting just below her watch. “Hey Maggie,” Andi said as soon as Maggie had walked into her own office, leaning against the door casually. “Long time no see.”

Maggie snorted a laugh as she sat down at her desk and pulled her laptop out of her purse. “Well I did have a baby, Andi. It’s called maternity leave.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Andi rolled her eyes and walked in, settling in the chair across the desk. “Rub it in. You do not get to look like that,” she gestured towards Maggie vaguely, “twelve weeks after given birth to a literal human being. You’re giving us all a bad name.”

Maggie laughed and rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Any interesting artists pop up while I was gone?”

“Eh,” Andi shrugged. “Trevor Wilson’s kid isn’t bad, but she’s not good enough to stand out, I don’t think. There was one band with a lot of potential, but I haven’t been able to get in touch with them just yet.” She shrugged. “I tried to pitch the lead singer after a show, but an angry parent interrupted.”

“Oof,” Maggie winced.

Angry parents were the worst thing about trying to recruit successful young artists.

“What’s the band?” She asked, typing in her password and opening her search engine immediately. “Want me to do some digging?”

“Sure,” Andi said casually. “It’s Julie and the Fat Ones. Phantoms? I can’t recall.” She got to her feet elegantly and said, “If you can find and book ‘em, they’re all yours.” She walked out of the office, turning at the door to smile genuinely and say, “Welcome back.”

Maggie grinned. “Thanks, Andi.”

She turned back to her laptop and typed in Julie and the— Before she’d even completed the second word, suggestions and results were springing up, including a few videos. She looked through the options for a moment before deciding on the video with the most views—an absurd and impressive number, considering it had only been up for a week—titled ‘Great’.

She clicked the link, and the video played.

-------

Start from the beginning:

Becoming a Memory, Becoming a Treasure:

(1)

Or read it HERE on AO3 :D Find the next chapter HERE on Tumblr :)

#jatp #julie and the himbos #jatp ruke #ruke #Luke patterson #Julie molina #alex #reggie #luke/reggie #BaMBaT

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mcustorm · 4 years

Text

Thoughts on Jamie Johnson 5x08

I actually don’t even know what to think. You guys don’t understand. Do you know how serious this episode was? It was so serious, that my afternoon nap was delayed so I could write this post. And only important things stop my head from hitting the pillow.

Last week was Dillon’s glorious coming out, a beautiful moment to put an apex to all the tension between Dillon and Elliot. This week, Dillon’s coming out continues, for better or for worse.

I love how *all* of this episode centered around Dillon coming to terms with being out/being outed. It underlined the significance and severity of the moment. Somebody check up on Patrick Ward’s back because he was carrying this episode, and I know we’re all here for Dillon but he truly is the most fascinating character on the show.

Delliot getting ready to see each other after the previous day’s shocking events was such a cute scene. We all know that the characters on this show tend not to feel any way about anybody romantically, so just seeing those two try to look/smell nice for somebody they may feel some-kind-of-way about...ah, there goes those memories of mine again, haha.

And of course, I for the most part like Elliot’s role as someone who’s a little bit more experienced and can help out a baby gay like Dillon. Elliot being so different from everybody else we’ve met thus far on the show not only makes him fascinating to us, but to Dillon as well. On the other hand, I did not like that 1) Elliot almost immediately went and told Ruby and 2) after helping out Dillon with his gay journey, he mayhaps yeeted off into the sunset.

Ya know, if Hansard and Harry and Indira and Molly and Savage and Wozza and Jethro and Jack’s awesome dad and the different-somehwat-prominent-black-male-extras-on-the-team-each-season didn’t exist, I would have more faith that Elliot might have more of a role in the story moving forward. But this show has proven time and time again that if the character’s name isn’t Jack, then once the story is done with you it’s done. At this point in his journey, it maybe isn’t the best idea that Dillon get involved in a relationship. That makes sense. But to maaaaaybe reduce Elliot to a m*****l n***o? I don’ like det.

It *seems* from what the show has presented thus far, that the only narrative purpose for Elliot to tell Ruby about Dillon is so that [both in-story and in the writer’s room] Dillon can have a reliable shoulder to lean on who is [and this is the important part] not Elliot. With him out of the picture, now Dillon’s go-to is Ruby if he needs a sounding board. And I have no idea why that’s the story-angle they’re going for. Perhaps Elliot threatens the status quo, which is “all of our characters are hopelessly, eternally single.”

But who knows, maybe I’m completely wrong and these last couple of paragraphs are irrelevant. Maybe not.

SN: Seriously, this show’s ships is definitely an interesting writing decision. Thinking about all the ship inequality thinkpieces that came out of the Andi Mack era, let’s talk about how the only canon het ship on this show that may give you feelings like Delliot is Jack and that rich guy whose name I’ve already forgotten.

Do you wanna know what? Today was the most sympathetic I’ve ever been for Liam, and yet in this episode he did the most despicable thing he’s ever done. Well, maybe I’m not sympathetic per se, but at least I realize that he’s just another victim of his father’s emotional abuse. You know, Joseph’s brothers felt neglected too, and I never said “well maybe their father could’ve treated them better” when they sold their brother into freakin’ slavery. There has to be a line between seeing Liam as a victim and seeing him as just plain evil. Or maybe it’s a Venn Diagram. Either way, I’m still not a fan. I wonder what redemption for this character looks like.

I just like that this show was so unafraid to go there. It is completely unprecedented in any TV show intended for children/young teens...at least to my knowledge. I’m gonna make it very clear that I’m not trying to downplay other shows’ accomplishments, but coming out really is an internal and external journey. One is how you feel about yourself, and the other is how others react. This is my opinion, but some shows have really got the internal part down (DOAFP was GOAT-tier with this one); however, when the time comes to do the external part, the show either doesn’t go there or kinda just limps over the finish line. Does that make sense? Am I just rambling?

I think of all the programs that I’ve watched, this show has already done the best job of reconciling those two aspects of coming out. Besides The Fosters, perchance. Some people will be right by your side, others may need time. Despite all of the blatant and frankly disgusting homophobia that we saw on the program, the show made it clear that this is just what I said: a journey. There may be hope yet.

Also in this episode: Eric feels bad, because he did wrong and also because his “friends” are being generally dickish to him, and Jamie is also here to tell Dillon he did phenomenally at the cup (which, just a portion of that energy would’ve been great yesterday for the entire team, but go awf Mr. Johnson). I guess I should take away that Jamie and Dillon are in a way better place than they’ve been before. Great.

So there ya go. I must say, that was probably a Top 3 episode of this TV show. Which is why that preview for next week made me say, “Okaaaaay…” So wait, are Boggy and Jamie just like BFF’s again? Are we gonna address the nonsense that Jamie was spewing last week? Are Kat and Zoe just friends like that now? Are we gonna address the nonsense that Zoe was up to last week? WAIT, Freddie wants to spend time with just Alba and Eric? ARE WE GOING TO ADDRESS THE NONSENSE Y’ALL WERE ON LAST WEEK?

I will keep going to bat for Eric, idc idc.

See ya next week. Off to take my nap.

#jamie johnson #jamie johnson spoilers #5x08 #dillon simmonds #delliot #elliot

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redrattlers · 4 years

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Hello Em!! I would love to know, which 5sos album aesthetic and colour palette is your favourite? Or maybe what you like about each if there isn't a stand out favourite? 😌

Hi Kara! Thank you so much for asking this!! I LOVE to talk about the aesthetic of the albums, or the “eras”, especially when looking at the evolution. I ended up writing a lot more than I intended to, so my thoughts are below the cut!

Alright, with 5sos, it’s no secret that they were quite young when they started out and the growth, both musically as a band and also as individuals, is one of my favourite thing about them. We kind of grew up with them, which I find really nice! And I think the aesthetic of each album is really coherent and relevant with the music they were making and where they were at in their lives at the time!

If I quickly touch on self-titled and sgfg, I’m grouping them together cause they feel like a continuation of the same pop-punk aesthetic, it’s really what made the most sense to them and for the music they were making at the time. The doodles on the covers, their fashion style, the symbols like the safety pin and the tally, bright and “loud” colours… all very coherent with the pop-punk image they liked and were pushing for!

Then comes in Youngblood and this is where it gets interesting, to me at least! Musically, they came in with a new sound, and I think the aesthetic change was super important to support that. Youngblood was a very strong and coherent era in terms of colours, symbols and themes, they basically rebranded themselves and I don’t think they could’ve done this any better! The aesthetic fits SO well with the album. To me it’s probably their strongest era aesthetic wise, but calm is my favourite because it feels a lot more intimate to me. KJ @5sosofficial once said that calm was like a big city at night if yb is that city during daytime and i found that super interesting!! Youngblood had this big and vibrant energy, whereas calm’s colour palette is darker, feels a little less put together, like it has rougher edges. I personally LOVE the industrial and grunge vibe of the visuals of the album and in their personal fashion styles! Again, I find that it fits really well with the music, and is particularly coherent with their musical influences for the album. I find it really cool you can hear/see the different influences really clearly on calm and in the aesthetic they choose to adhere to ever since easier. Also mad props to Andy and Ryan for the content they created for wwj and in the months leading to the release of calm, the style of photography and the editing feels really appropriate, some of my favourite 5sos pics were taken within this period!

The only thing with calm is that we’ll never know how the aesthetic would’ve evolved with the no shame tour, it will be interesting to see how 5sos will present themselves as a group next because so much has happened in the past year!

This answer is so much longer than what I was expecting, hope you don’t mind!! I’d also be super down to hear your thoughts on the subject as well! Love you!

#oh my #alright here’s my essay on 5sos and their aesthetic over the years #thank you kara though!!!#this was super interesting to write!!!#if you have thought's i'd love to hear them!!#calm aesthetic #album aesthetic #calm #youngblood #ask #karajaynetoday

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wild-flower-art · 4 years

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The Old Guard- Andy x Reader (F/F)

This started off as a weird dream and I had to jot it down...I was inspired and started writing a chapter 2. If y’all like this I might post the 2nd chapter. I’ve never written a fanfic before, so any constructive criticism is welcome! (I’ll probably name this if it gains traction) Enjoy!

The Old Guard- Chapter 1: What the Fuck Did I Just Get Myself Into? (first-person POV-- 1,434 word count)

This isn’t how I pictured my Thursday evening to go. I was supposed to have a chill night at home, with some tequila, take out, and a bad yet so good sci-fi b-movie. With blood caking my shirt, writhing in pain as the synapses shoot off pain between neurons like fireworks, yup, this is DEFINITELY not how I pictured my night to go.

I’m going in and out of consciousness, but all the while I’m aware of a few things going on around me. The sound of bullets leaving barrels and hitting bodies and cement blocks. Blades slicing flesh. The sound of men and women yelling, some in anger, others in pain. But the main thing I keep focusing on is the sight of a woman, crouched down next to me, her hand pressed firmly on my diaphragm, trying in vain to keep my blood inside my body. How is she shooting at these people with such precision?

“Guys a little help here! She’s not gonna make it!” She turns to me with something that looks like concern painted over clear eyes, making her forehead scrunch up. “Why did you do that, you stupid girl?”

Why did I do- oh….right. I jumped in front of her. I heard a fight break out, I was trying to get civilians out of the way of bullets. I saw a goon point a gun at this woman who had been helping me get people out of the way, and I jumped in front without thinking. (Y/N), you fucking idiot. What are you gonna do now that you’re bleeding out on the floor? You sure as hell can’t watch that bad b-movie anymore, that’s what you’re NOT gonna do. Oh fuck, it’s going black again and my hearing is becoming more muffled. Is this it? After all I’ve been through, this is how the universe if getting me to finally die? Could be worse….god she’s stunning.

*everything goes black*

I’m in a basement in my firefighter suit, trying to get to the cries for help I keep hearing. The further into the basement I go, the further away the screams become and the darker and smokier the room becomes until the flames consume me. I can hear myself breathing heavily, shaking….shaking….shaking….

I’m jolted awake, sweat covering my face and neck…where the hell am I? And who’s hands are squeezing my arms? Another beautiful woman? Am I in heaven? I move to speak, but she stops me “Hey hey it’s okay. You’re gonna be okay. Just don’t move.” She gets up to leave and I’m left in this bed by myself. It’s a semi-comfortable bed, the walls around me look like they’re rock? Cement? I don’t know, there’s not much lighting other than a few candles that are lit and a light coming in from under the door from which the woman stepped out of. I see black figures moving underneath…who are they? Are they gonna hurt me? Before I can start trying to answer my own questions, the door opens gently, revealing the woman who was just over me, shaking me awake, with her hair slicked back into cornrows revealing a beautiful young face. Behind her are two men, walking tightly close to each other…are they holding hands? Right behind them is the woman who I jumped in front of, whose hand was covered in my blood. She looks so relieved yet angry….or is that fear I see?

They come rushing in to check on me, but they keep their distance. They look awkwardly at me like they don’t know what to do with themselves. The one who steps up is the youngest looking of the group, the woman who had been over me just a moment ago. “Hey, you’re safe now. My name is Nile. We’re here to help you.” She starts toward the bandages over my diaphragm, but then stops suddenly when she sees my muscles twitch. She looks up at me questioningly, nonverbally asking for permission to touch the bandages. I nod after a beat, bracing myself for the pain I know I’m about to feel. I try to look anywhere but where she’s touching, out of sight out of mind kind of thing. I’m clenching my jaw, probably on the verge of cracking my teeth, and looking up at the ceiling. That starts losing its appeal and my eyes wonder over to the people looking over Nile’s shoulder paying close attention to what she’s doing, taking mental notes. The two who are closest to Nile in proximity are two men; one with curly hair and a darker complexion compared to his counterpart, who is holding him tightly by the hand, his thumb rubbing over the other’s knuckles.

The woman behind them is looking on, quite pale, and with cuts littering her face. She looks uneasy, but also intimidatingly gorgeous and stoic. She’s smaller in stature compared to the other two gentlemen, so just south of 6 ft? Her angular dark haircut only adding to the severeness of her eyes, leaving nothing soft about her. Before I can shift my eyes to avoid being seen gawking at her, she moves her icy blue eyes from the bandages to my (E/C) ones. Something close to sorrow flashes in her eyes. The softness is alarming, but just as quickly as it appears it leaves her face. She turns her attention back towards my bandages, which are just about done being wrapped up. It still hurt, no matter how much I was trying to distract myself. Nile and the two men behind her admire her handy work. I’m trying not to cry from the throbbing, hot pain radiating from my upper abdomen, and I’m trying not to look at the woman behind them so as not to make it awkward. She’s the protector of them, I can tell. How she’s hovering over them like a hawk, wide eyed and alert.

Before I can ask any questions, the two men behind Nile finally realize a person is attached to the bandages and introduce themselves. “I apologize for staring, my name is Joe, and this right here is Nicky.”, he says so lovingly, with his hand lightly squeezing the back of Nicky’s neck. It’s quite beautiful. It makes me feel mushy inside. Nicky nods at me and smiles, I smile back and reply, “I’m (Y/N). Thank you for looking after me…but where am I?” Nicky replies, “No, it is us who should be thanking you for--“, before he can finish his response the woman behind him interjects. “You are at our safe house. We will keep you safe here while you recover, but it would be in your best interest to leave as soon as you are better.” Joe and Nicky look back at her and start speaking in what sounds like Italian, “Non possiamo lasciarla andare senza una spiegazione, Andy.” “Che cosa?...”, she bites back, her voice lowering as she continues. I speak a little Spanish, but in her hushed and rushed biting tone, it was hard to understand her, but I know she was disagreeing with what they had just said.

I sense tension and move to sit up. “I shouldn’t stay here longer than I have to.” Nile moves to get some pillows propped up behind my back. “That’s not necessary, you’ll stay here as long as it takes. We can’t risk you getting hurt or worse if we could’ve prevented it. You need fluids, I’ll be right back.” As she leaves she throws a glance to the other three who are arguing in a hushed tone. I’m too tired to try and eaves drop and understand what they’re saying. It’s obvious I’m not wanted here for too long, so in a day or so when I’m feeling better I’ll just leave in the middle of the night or something. Nile comes back with some water, some slices of bread, and fruit. “I don’t know how hungry you are, but you should try to eat something.” “Thank you”, I nod. “We’ll leave this door closed for some privacy, but open just enough so you can holler if you need anything.” She, Joe, and Nicky all smile at me and turn to walk out. The woman I saved stays behind for a moment and awkwardly hovers over the corner of the bed, her eyebrows furrowing as she’s contemplating on doing or saying something.

Finally, she speaks, “I’m Andromache, but you can call me Andy.”, and with that she moves swiftly out of the room, almost without sound.

What the fuck did I just get myself into?

#the old guard #andy x reader #andromache x reader #andromache the scythian x reader #the old guard imagine

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