#but I won't see it because all I see is you choosing not to be better

[monstermoviedean]

let's talk about the bridge.

[spnwiki links known filming locations when available. in all three episodes, this is listed as the spur 4 bridge, lower seymour conservation reserve. it may appear in more episodes, but i'm not sure.]

the bridge appears in 05x02 (good god, y'all!), 13x18 (bring 'em back alive), and 15x20 (carry on). now. do i think this specific bridge was specially chosen each time to communicate a certain message? with respect to the crew, nah, probably not. do i think you can read a pattern here? ooh, yes. tl;dr: you cannot cross the bridge. merely standing on it means the rules have just changed in a reality-bending, fucked-up-beyond-all-repair sort of way. attempting to complete the crossing is an acceptance of the new rules.

in 05x02, the bridge appears as dean and sam are driving into river pass, colorado, the town controlled by war. the bridge is broken. they drive halfway across the bridge and stop. this is the first sign to sam and dean that something is seriously wrong here. this is no normal demon hunt. this is a problem on a scale larger than they can grasp. there's a literal gap between them and the town! they have to leave the car (/home) parked on the bridge and hike in. they are entering uncharted territory.

when they do, they find people killing each other and seeing demons where there are none. war is altering reality and playing people off each other. jo attacks ellen! rufus attacks sam! the townspeople turn on ellen and dean! you can't trust anyone! but actually...you can. none of them are demons. the danger is real, but it's not what it appears. and no one has ever come across anything like this before.

so what do sam and dean learn? the apocalypse is here. there's no going back. the rules have changed. the tactics they've always used don't work, because they are in a new reality now. and they accept that. while they can't physically walk/drive across the bridge, they do complete the crossing of their own volition. they accept that their world is different now and they will adapt to it.

in 13x18, dean and ketch are in apocalypse world walking near the bridge. they see a group of angels leading a group of shackled, hooded prisoners across the bridge.

two of the prisoners are executed by the angels right there. they do not cross the bridge. they die playing by the same rules they always have. it's the apocalypse, and they'll fight, but the angels are the angels and it's tough to win as a human. when i started writing this post i thought charlie had crossed the bridge, symbolizing her entrance into a new reality. but she doesn't! the angels fly away with her, without any of them ever crossing the bridge (below are back-to-back screencaps. sorry for the lack of visual but trust me on this)

charlie doesn't fully cross the bridge. she gets halfway across and then the angels fly her somewhere else. dean is hoping she finishes crossing. if she does, it's like she's crossing into his world. maybe this charlie will be just like the charlie he knew and lost. maybe he can save her. maybe he can undo it. but she doesn't cross and he so he can't get to her!

when he and ketch eventually catch up with her at the silo and escape, charlie hears about dean's universe and chooses to stay in hers. because it's hers. charlie's reality has been fucked with, certainly, but she chooses to accept the reality she knows and stay in it (for now at least). she's not outright rejecting the new reality of parallel universes, but she's also not letting the new reality dictate her actions. it's her home, it's her fight, and she's staying. she doesn't complete the crossing.

so that brings us to. deep sigh. 15x20. dean drives onto the bridge, ostensibly in heaven. he drives about halfway across. and stops. he does not cross the bridge. he gets out of the car and hesitantly walks around the front of it. i won't show you all the screencaps but he touches the car and stays pretty close to it as he walks.

the last one is about the furthest point he walks across the bridge, give or take. he doesn't go far from the car (which is a good strong symbol of dean's reality and home). you can see there's two vertical posts in the space between him and the car. when the final shot zooms out from him and sam, they are magically further across the bridge, about halfway across, about five vertical posts away.

dean standing on the bridge means the rules have changed. his world is different now. he cannot go back. this especially works with the next scene, which is the one of the cast and crew in our world saying goodbye. now, can you say that dean dying and going to heaven is the change? sure. but he doesn't cross the bridge. he doesn't accept it. could you say that simply means he's in denial about his death and apparent ascension? i guess. "but what about sam?!" shhhh, not right now.

i think it works much better as dean recognizing there is a new and unknown reality on the other side of that bridge, and instinctively knowing that there is something wrong. that he doesn't want to accept that reality. that if he finishes the crossing, he will be accepting it and will be unable to go back. and sam just appearing out of nowhere, seemingly materializing onto the middle of the bridge without actually taking steps to cross it? somehow moving dean with him so they're both further across the bridge? well maybe that's not real. maybe that's a trick to try to get dean to cross. maybe his acceptance of the new reality will sever his connection to his actual reality - war destroying the bridge in 05x02 certainly did that for the townspeople.

i know others have talked about dean crossing the bridge as an acceptance or an ascension, i'm nowhere near the first person to come up with that. but i do want to call attention to the previous iterations of the bridge. a broken bridge sam and dean cross, only to find war beyond it, an enemy the likes of which they have never seen. a bridge charlie is nearly forced to cross, but which she's taken away from before she can complete it (which would be more likely to lead her to jump realities). and a bridge dean starts to cross, but doesn't. a bridge that appears first in dean's reality, then in apocalypse world, then in dean's heaven, and then in our world, with jensen dressed as dean saying goodbye. and nobody ever crosses that bridge. it's a false promise. you can't do it. all you can do is stand on it and hope you'll be okay, even though you can't go back.

[pedro-pascal-love]

It's so sad that she loved him and Cregan loved her too, but he didn't respect her. She could have prioritized her future and married a good man, but she didn't because she kept waiting for a man who in the end will never go for her. Now she finds herself at the end of the road, alone and with no one to turn to. It is so sad because she is a totally worthwhile woman. She may not know about arts and crafts or embroidery, but she has her own good skills, the only bad thing about her is that she waited and still waits for love from a man who is not worth it, instead of prioritizing herself.

She may love Cregan, but it's time to prioritize herself. She's spent so much time living for Cregan, she doesn't know what it's like to live for herself. Besides, even though Cregan seems to love her in the same way, he doesn't seem to be willing to be with her openly as husband and wife. Besides, it would be very disrespectful if Cregan suggests her to be his mistress. That woman doesn't deserve to be anyone's mistress, not even his. Arra also doesn't deserve to be disrespected like that by her husband, who has a mistress. They are both too much woman for so little man. If Cregan decides to take a mistress, then Stark honor would be in tatters. Our girl must choose a new dream, perhaps walk other paths, choose other battles. I know it's sad, but we women must know how to choose our battles. We cannot stay and fight among ourselves for a man who says he loves you, but at the end of the day he is going to marry another woman. That only means that he only loves himself, he is not capable of loving anyone else. It is undignified and very sad that she (I say Reader like this because I can't imagine myself as her) and Arra are chasing the love of a bad man. Sometimes the right decision is not to marry the man we want, but to marry the man who loves us the most, and Cregan doesn't really love either of them.

I think it's more than clear that I want to come to blows with Cregan for getting these two girls' hopes up for nothing. I wonder if Lord Cerwyn (Cregan's canon best friend) and Lord Glover (Cregan's canon cousin on Cregan's mother's side) wouldn't like to seriously court our girl. I mean just because Cregan rejects her all the time doesn't mean other men are the same. Lord Cerwyn and Cregan were best friends since childhood, their home is only half a day's ride from Winterfell on horseback. I think it would be good for our girl to be appreciated by a man who really sees her. Summary: girls if a man promised you something and not only didn't deliver, but also started dating another woman. Leave that man, that man is not worth it, you can't go crawling around for a man's crumbs. More if that man made it clear to you that for him everything was a game, if you accept him back into your life, then you won't know when he is serious and when he is just playing with you.

Reader is definitely going through it. But don't worry, Cregan will be going through some stuff of his own too. He's not going to come out of all this unscathed.🤫

[raayllum]

Callum is so right about Rayla never doing anything for herself. You could say freeing Runaan was for herself but she also treats it as her "sacred promise" and chose him for Ethari too (shows how great her heart is). You think sparing Callum will finally count as her doing something for herself? Choosing her future and her love for him over the "greater good". She couldn't get her og parents back‚ this girl keeps losing and suffering she seriously deserves more wins

God, I could write an entire meta about that line - maybe one day when I'm feeling self indulgent. In regards to your actual prompt, re: saving Callum will count as something for herself -- a big yes, absolutely, I think! Though I think freeing her parents is something she deeply wanted for herself, too ("I miss you so much" / "so I wanted to do something for yourself for you") even if it was something she was continually putting off till the Aaravos situation, as far as she knew, was resolved

Prior to S6 I went back and forth on whether the show would frame Rayla's end of the possession plot line / trying to get Callum back as either "It doesn't matter what happens to me (again) I just want to save him" (which is what leaving in TTM and other moments was about) OR whether it'd be framed as "I refuse to sacrifice him / something I want (again)" and therefore be character development. I leaned towards the latter for reasons outlined here since the two have the chance to be even more thematically codependent than they already are in terms of their senses of identity:

As long as Callum is Callum (not possessed, or she has reason to believe he’s still in there), Rayla likely won’t be able to bring herself to kill him. This is from an emotional / characterization standpoint, of course, but from a thematic standpoint, we can see where it stems from Callum and Rayla continually being each other’s main connection to their sense of identity. As long as Callum is Callum (“you’re the destiny is a book you write yourself guy”), he’s worth saving. As long as Callum is Callum, she can be Rayla (“Rayla’s brave. She saves people” / “Rayla. My name is Rayla, and I’m going home”). As long as she’s Rayla, he can be Callum. Because if Callum isn’t Callum, then he’s dead, and if he’s dead, she can kill him. And if Rayla kills him, if Callum is dead, then she won’t be Rayla anymore. Because to literally kill Callum would be to simultaneously symbolically/emotionally kill herself.

This goes both ways of course - Callum can't/won't sacrifice Rayla because to do so would be to sacrifice a fundamental part of himself (namely his deep and Pure devotion to others which means he'll never go entirely down the negative side of Viren's path, and keep to the positive - leaving Aaravos, breaking free, etc). This was subtext prior to S6, but now it's actual text (she's his light/truth/hope of salvation, etc) so it goes double going forward. This is true for Rayla too — Callum is her guiding light and her star, he's one of the people who's taught her the most about how to love and the person she wants to be.

With all that in mind, yeah, I do think that Rayla will choose to not sacrifice Callum for the right reasons. Part of this is scaffolded under witnessing Callum not sacrificing her No Matter What prior to her won choice, and realizing "what [she] most deeply desires" isn't just Callum's survival even, but specifically the life they can have together, which she needs to stick around for and thereby not sacrifice herself. Runaan is also explicitly remorseful over the actions he took towards her where he choose duty over love, so Rayla realizing she should choose love over duty ties into them growing together as well in a positive way. We also see her realize some of this I think in choosing to let Lain and Tiadrin stay together rather than separate them specifically because of the Moonphoenix bracelet Callum gave her as well.

"I risked losing the best thing I ever had" because of her own duty turned revenge vs "I refuse to lose either of us like this" and finally fully accepting an assassin was never who she was and never who she Should be, in sacrificing others' lives or her own included. Them both Choosing each other above everything else was exactly what I was hoping for as soon as the "I need you to kill me" plot line started / wrote in my first CHET fic pre-S4 years ago:

She has two options as she pulls away. She can make a grab for her swords and go out, swords blazing. Kill Viren or Aaravos if she can as the sky splits open, purple and thrumming with magic; die with a sword in her hand in all likelihood. The release spell has already started. Or she can help Callum up, and they can live to fight another day—together. Rayla grips the back of his jacket. Presses her forehead to his neck for a second, tears building her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she says. His arm tightens around her, like he’s braced for her to go. “Rayla—” “I’m so sorry,” she repeats, sobbing. This is all her fault, but she can’t do that to him. “We have to get out of here.” [...]

Callum is staring at her when she pulls back and she swallows hard. She doesn’t know what to say. It’s both a blessing and a curse when he speaks first. “You chose me,” he says, not quite softly; she can tell there’s a lump in his throat. An edge of anger that not doing so was even an option. “Yeah, well. It was about time,” she says quietly. “I—”

So uh, here's hoping!

[soulfarer23]

The truth about the Void-State is starting to sink in

so yea, I've been 'over'consuming loa/shifting/void-state Tumblr a bit, but I feel like, after reading very similar things in many different ways, It's starting to actually sink in.

By that I mean, I don't just know it, I genuinely understand it and its implications. ( I think lol )

I used to see the Void-State just as the 'instant manifestation' state, but It's so much more. It's me. Literally. I am LITERALLY the 'Void-State'. It's me in my purest, unfiltered form. It's my pure consciousness. And it exists unattached to any vessel or reality. It just is.

Now the affirmation 'I am' makes sense to me. I don't know if it's because I am not a native speaker, but I never fully got it. It always felt like there was something missing, like, I am what?

But that's literally it, I am. I exist. And that's what I am.

Not a body, not a human, not a person, not any DNA information. Not even someone from reality XYZ. I just am.

I am naturally omni-everything and eternal. My power is as infinite as infinite gets. The only thing to ever appear to diminish that power is the reality I choose to be aware of and the vessel I choose to experience that reality with. And that's always my choice, and my choice alone.

One question I often ask myself when I see posts like these from people who seem to 'know it all' is. Why. are. you. still. here.

And well, I am still here too. Have I woken up in the Void-State after 21 days of affirming? no, at least not in the 3d, but I won't go on one of these 'only the 4d matters' rants.

Well, why am I so convinced in the Void-State then? Well I was there once, years ago before I had a damn clue about anything. I just dreamed and suddenly my mind was sharply aware and awake, but there was nothing. No sound, no sensations and pure darkness. I wondered if I was dead, genuinely, yet I couldn't panic, I was content. I just existed. (thinking back, having these thoughts while being pure consciousness seems kinda dangerous)

So years later, I still clearly remembered this event vividly until I had a big 'OH' moment when I found out about the 'Void-State', and I finally understand what I felt back then. It was pure freedom and peace of mind.

Let it sink in. Mine and your most natural state is that of pure omnipotence, freedom and peace. Infinitely. Eternally. Literally.

All that keeps us away from that state is our assumption, some people (younger me for example) even still getting in without having a clue it exists. We can even guarantee it by assuming it, which ties back into loa. We are always in control, we really just have to realize and accept it. It's there, it's always been there, you just couldn't see it. Now you can. Take it and don't let anything in this reality stop you. NOW.

[vicsy]

Many people won't care about me writing about this but I must get this out.

I got into Formula 1 at the beginning of 2022. It coincided with the world as I knew it collapsing in on itself with record speed. I don't hide the fact that I am from Russia and I know most people would know what my country started in February that year. You watch your entire life plans getting crumpled like a piece of paper and thrown into the trash; the borders closing, companies leaving, the world turning back on you for the sole fact that you were born here. You watch yourself slowly inched into isolation.

And at the worst time in my entire life I managed to find this little gateway. It started with Lando, funnily enough, because I didn't know my way around the F1, so I picked someone with a Star Wars name. Irony is not dead. It wasn't long before I imprinted on Daniel like a fucking baby duckling.

Even through the mess that was his career in 2022, he brought me (and many others) so much joy. I was slowly navigating the world of racing and trying to make sense of it all. Daniel was there. The narratives were there. He is the reason I discovered the fanbase, the fandom, the reason I met so many people I get to call lifelong friends now. And I can't imagine my life without them anymore. At my lowest I found a community that made my life bearable and fun and bright; a community that made me want to create and write again. Daniel was the reason I broadened my horizons and became a Fernando fan, Lance fan, a fan of so many other drivers that I still have the joy to support even when Daniel won't be there, behind the wheel or barking in the garage.

You'd think that it's stupid to hang your entire life balance on one millionaire who drives cars in circles and won't ever know you exist. But to me Daniel became that balance when everything else was just plainly uncertain. I watched the news of the world events unfolding and that pit of dread was never ending. It was like having a rug pulled from underneath your feet every single day. Those first 2-3 months of the war felt the worst. Not like it changed but you get the idea. But I still had this little F1 world and this smiling weirdo to brighten my day.

The friends that I found, the happiness that I managed to scrap in the times of great uncertainty, all of this was tied to Daniel. He was, in a way, a lifeline that led me to a hobby that I've grown to love. It hurt me back, multiple times, but it also saved my sanity on so many occasions.

I know, in my heart, Daniel will bounce back. Who knows, maybe he'll be back one day, in 2026, or doing something related to F1. Or maybe he chooses to stay away forever. Me, personally? Of course I'd like to see him race. And I hate change. The change of it all hurts as much as the fact that Daniel never got a proper goodbye. I do hope he knows, somehow, how much he is loved.

And I'll forever cherish the fact that I got to see him live in Baku, that I stood in front row an listened to him explain his terrible pizza choices. I heard him say well done, Baku first hand. I'm glad I got there in time to get a signed card. I'll always have the warmest feelings towards Daniel. If not for him, my life would be emptier today.

oh, and, never forget – fuck 'em all.

[smiley-positivity-potato]

for all the young and older autistic masculine and transmasc peers out there, get ready to be confused about the new addition of male social cues society EXPECTS you to learn on how to be a "proper" and respectable man.

be ready to be just as flabbergasted and baffled by the expectations of others, men AND women alike, for what is acceptable for a masculine person in a conversation to say and what is not for it is seen as "weak". don't be shocked when your anxiety starts to rise when others try to see how strongly you can shake their hand, or for when they see how you can hold yourself in an argument OR fight you KNOW shouldn't have happened but the aggression is there because, naturally, you're a man so you can "take it". be ready for your disabilities or ailments to be dismissed by others, for you're a "big, tough" man so you shouldn't need time to HEAL. "Just ignore it. Keep pushing forward. What kinda man are you if you can't?", they'll accuse.

be ready for them to all of a sudden make being a man feel like rocket science mixed with gymnastics. they will make you feel like you have to wear a double mask to be a man. one mask you'd wear for your autism and one you'd wear to hide your past womanhood taught traits. and you'll feel idiotic if you don't get these things when we barely got the "girl" social cues before we transitioned.

they will laugh if you can't lift the trash because it's too heavy and they may MOCK YOU, just like my first ex gf did. they will compare the way you can or can not hold in your emotions to other men (your meltdowns, stimming, sensory issues, and etc. are now no longer "cute and quirky". they are an inconvenience). they will stare you down and expect you to KNOW how to be the protector of EVERY situation- not as a team protecting one another, but as an individual knight protecting your loved ones. and if you can't do this and more, you socially aren't accepted by other women AND men, alike, as a "proper" man.

but the thing is, you may never learn EVERY social cue as an autistic masculine person. and even if you do, it won't make sense. so you may not see a reason to do it- for the pressure of others shouldn't define your manhood. you are autistic and that is okay. you do not need to find all these things important to your masculinity journey. and even if you choose to learn some of these society approved cues, it should be out of your own comfort. not because you want others to think you're a "better" man. standing your ground, as you walk further and further up this path, has already helped you start to become a better man- this version of you is already better because it's who you wished to be as a little girl.

and you will continue to grow and be that. so all because you don't get or know why every masculine social cue exists, like others expect, doesn't make you any less of a man than another cis man. you're just an autistic transmasc. an autistic, upstanding man. and there will NEVER EVER be anything wrong with that. i promise.

[nico-esoterica]

Controversial take, maybe? Nah, it won't be.

It's the Law of 'You.'

It's all about You and what you say is true consistently. You don't have to listen to anyone's rules or guidelines you don't resonate with. You also don't have to force yourself to think or 'do' anything. That includes trying to make a concept work and click that you see success stories from but you simply don't align with. You don't like the person, the phrasing, it gives you the ick or makes you uncomfortable/anxious, whatever.

That doesn't mean you're missing out. Everyone gets what they want by thinking it's theirs regardless of negative thoughts, shitty feelings, history or circumstances. You can call it assuming, being, knowing, attracting, creating, whatever you want. Then continuing to choose that story. You can even forget about it! You didn't change your mind about it so it'll still happen.

You can also mix and match. You can have a soup of different supposedly opposing spiritual ideas and beliefs and say they all work and are compatible because you say so! Believe in magic! Organized religion! A pantheon of deities! Saturn whipping your ass to make you learn! Pixies, Lucifer, and Krishna, baby.

A deity literally blew up my spiritual line recently because she fucks with me being powerful and wanted to give me advice. A Goddess recognizing a Goddess. And she was FINE with me not worshipping her despite her having worshippers. I could just tell that she just loves my energy and my potential and wanted to bless me with wisdom and it's appreciated. But I don't worship anyone other than myself :) However, that was a great experience and I was open to it. I can do it all!

There doesn't have to be consequences, divine punishment, or your religious traumatized ass whipping yourself through guilt because you think you need to be reprimanded for thinking you're 'grown enough' to assume control. Be logical, illogical, think like a child or in magical terms, use placebos for everything and fuhgetaboutit, whatever you want! There are NO rules unless you decide you wanna adhere to some. Nothing can occur without your permission, baby, because you can assign new meanings to anything in life you want. If something unfavorable happens, you change the meaning or how you perceive it.

CREATING YOUR REALITY SHOULD FEEL EASY, FUN, AND SEXY. YOU'RE THE CAPTAIN SO DRIVE THE DAMN BOAT!!!!

[annwrites]

— jacaerys velaryon quotes ⊹⊱♛⊰⊹ | read

❝You there—girl—do you know how incredibly rude it is for you not to stand and curtsy when in the presence of royalty?❞

❝You are to look at me while we're speaking. Do you understand?❞

❝From now on, you will wear more suitable clothing when outside your private chambers—which means conservative in nature; not whatever men found desirable upon the Street of Silk. You are a representative of our house now. A dragonrider. A soldier to our cause. You will look the part.❞

❝You will watch your tongue, you insolent little wench.❞

❝You are being too gentle with her—too patient—she requires a firmer hand, elsewise she will never properly learn.❞

❝Just as soon as you can give such commands in High Valyrian, I shall consider. Now, do as you are told.❞

❝Is this what it's going to take, then?❞ (...) ❝Me manipulating you like a ventriloquist does its doll to get you to do what I need you to?❞

❝Rȳbās,❞ he then says with a smug look. ❝It means obey.❞

❝You've silver hair, purple eyes, pale skin. Men would pay handsomely to pretend at having a Targaryen princess or lady for an hour or two, would they not?❞

❝Everything to do with you concerns me!❞

❝I do not answer to you, but you will to me: your superior. Now.❞

❝You will address me properly, and you will hold your tongue. You speak only when spoken to, is that understood?❞

❝If you ever raise a hand to me again,❞ (...) ❝I will take it. What you just did is treason.❞

❝Go on, then. Try me. See how far I let you get after such a stunt. You think me weak? Easy to strong-arm?❞

❝I doubt it. You've no idea who you're testing. I am your future king,❞ he spits. ❝And you will obey me, you little bitch.❞

❝You think your comely looks make you special? Think they're all you need, so as to easily fool and take advantage of men? To get your way?❞

❝There is a screen, and I hardly intend to look. Now, do as your prince commands.❞

❝I won't allow any harm to befall you, you have my word, Y/N! As long as you are with me, you are safe!❞

❝Do you think she enjoys being trapped in here all hours of the day? Do you know how long it's been since someone has ridden her? Let her show you the skies. Allow her that privilege.❞

❝I want us to experience this together.❞

❝It is possible,❞ (...) ❝To change your mind about that which you think you want. If you only consider other options.❞

❝Gods, you're fucking impossible, aren't you?❞

❝Teach me how to please you. Allow me to show you how truly sorry I am in this...other way.❞

❝I have taught you much these last few days. It is time, mayhaps, you return the favor.❞

❝Allow me to please you.❞

❝You have me on my knees. Begging you to allow me to pleasure you. You need more reassurance that you have me at your mercy now?❞

❝I would use my mouth, Y/N, if it please you.❞

❝I know what I want. And I know that it is you. Here. Now. Will you not allow me this most singular indulgence?❞

❝May I untie my breeches, My Lady?❞

❝Gods,❞ he mutters against your mound. ❝You're so beautiful. Mm, and delicious.❞

❝I did not need even touch myself to finish at your hand.❞

❝In truth, I would very much like…❞ (...) ❝For us to begin sharing all our meals together. To walk together, when you choose to on the beach. To ride together.❞

❝But I do not burn for her. Not as I do you. You fill my every waking fucking thought now. All I wish is to be near to you. To touch you. To hear your voice.❞

❝Was it fair to her when I had my face shoved between your thighs as you finished upon my tongue?❞

❝I don’t want to lose you,❞ he whispers. ❝When I’ve only just found you. When I am with you, I don’t feel so afraid anymore. Please…please don’t take yourself from me. Please.❞

❝We’ve fondness, but a fire does not rage within me when I’m near her as it does for you. A fire I am desperate to keep fanning the flames of. Because if it were to burn out—now—I know not what I would do.❞

❝When I am with you, I feel fearless. Not a coddled princeling. Not some royal betrothed where everything must be prim and proper. I feel… I feel alive. I have the attentions of a woman grown, and I would be remiss to shirk them out of the sake of propriety.❞

❝It is why I ask you—if you can find it within yourself to consent—to let me have you, at least in private. Let us live while there is still time for it.❞

❝I mean for us to share more than just meals and walks together, you know?❞ (...) ❝Such as my bed, and yours. Perhaps baths. The rug before my hearth. The dining table chairs. The windowsill. My settee…❞

❝Only for you, my little dragonseed,❞ he replies, kissing you tenderly. ❝You see: I can be quite generous.❞

❝I deign we shall need moontea in large supply.❞

❝If you wish to quiet my tongue, you will need to find other uses for it, then, my sweet.❞

❝I want you…to be the first.❞

❝I want for you to… Tell me what to do. Use me for your pleasure. Please.❞

❝Command me.❞

❝Gods, I want to touch you.❞

❝Yes, mistress.❞

❝Let me instead. Please, I beg of you. Let me tend to your needs.❞

❝Do I have your permission?❞

❝Thank you, Y/N. For making my first…❞ He trails off for a moment. ❝For being my first, and for making it perfect.❞

[thelovetheystole]

Robert rant incoming.

1) This is the most interesting backstory they could come up with for the new Sugden?

2) How harrowing will it be when 'up against' Aaron's past? Since they insisted on putting those two not-so-sunny characters together without them having one thing to talk about, this will inevitably end up being the thing that bonds them emotionally, because all they have now is sex. Which trauma will Aaron choose to focus on?

Because if he starts talking about all of them, Fauxbert won't be the focus, which they clearly want him to be. So, Jackson, Ben or Liv?

3) This is when I'm going to scream into the void about Robert again, okay? I'm getting a bit tired of everyone coming on the show having these off screen tragic backstories when the one we actually saw on screen never seemed to rate. (If it would have been written in 2024, can you imagine?)

Robert watching his mother die in that burning barn at 14 years old never seemed to qualify as a 'harrowing' experience that may have damaged or shaped him, in the eyes of his fellow villagers (or the viewers, and certainly not the producers/writers), neither did finding out who was responsible or who was willing to cover for them. Think about that. 14 years old.

And people wonder why he turned out like he did. Fauxbert, I assume, was a grown man when this happened and he has been acting like an ass since the moment we met him. Presumably because of what he's been through in the army, and specifically this event.

Aaron was the same a year after Liv's death, beating people up and and saying horrible things to anyone and everyone, including victim blaming Suni and Nicky, being vile about Dawn, humiliating Ethan after sleeping with him and almost killing Cain.

Is that understandable? Sure, it absolutely can be. PTSD is obviously a very real thing, for one. But why can't Robert's behavior ever be understood? His mum died a very painful death, and he was there, a child, who couldn't help/save her. His brother/best friend was responsible and lied about it and their father lied to help cover it up.

No exaggeration needed either, it was shown on the show, step by step. People can still watch it now.

He. was. just. supposed. to. get. over. it.

Then the brother and father were closer than ever, and Robert was on the outside looking in, for all time, and he was basically shamed his whole life for not being able to forgive and forget what happened to Sarah and why. Who would be able to get over something so traumatic without help and understanding and support?

Andy even mocked him about it before chicken run 2.0 when Robert voiced his pain over Sarah and Jack. Is that what this is about? Him liking me more than you? No Andy, that's not the whole story and you know it, and fyi, decent parents don't pick a child they 'like more'. Ask Wendy Posner and she'll tell you.

Robert's constant need to remind everyone that he was the 'real son' and that Andy was adopted comes from feeling that was the only 'advantage' he ever he had. The only valid reason he could think of for Jack to love him, see him, pick him. Accept him. The son who didn't want to be a farmer. The son who kissed a boy. The son who stole his brother's girl. The disappointment. But at least they were blood and that had to count for something right?

He was 14 years old when that fire happened, like Liv was when she arrived in 2014. Her upbringing with Sandra wasn't great, and then she found out about Gordon. Those things contributed to her alcoholism later and that was something she would have struggled with for the rest of her life, had it not ended too soon.

He was 17 when he fell for Katie, his brother's girlfriend. That's something he was held accountable for his whole life. Around that age Liv blackmailed Maya over Jacob instead of trying to get help for him, because she couldn't grasp the severity of the situation. Because she was still considered a child and treated as such.

When Robert was sent away from the village and told to never come back, he was 19, about the same age Liv was when she couldn't bear the idea of Aaron leaving her and moving away with Ben or consider going with them. (I know she was drinking at the time, but she was still very attached to the idea of living with Aaron when she had married Vinny and was sober in 2022.)

Robert was treated more unfairly than any other child on the show, and judged by adult standards way more than any other teen, and I'll die on that hill. (He was also the adult who wad judged the hardest for cheating, but hey, that's for another day.)

I guess I'm just sad for Robert that he now has another brother he has to compete against. Someone's who's trauma is worse, yet is heroic and saves people. Someone who Aaron wants to be with - for unexplained reasons. Someone Victoria is desperate to be loved by. Someone about to become an important part of the community.

Someone who is now basically living Robert's life.

[kyokoyya]

for the better (geto suguru x gojo satoru x reader)

- gender neutral!reader, slight satosugu, shoko and yuta mention, angst, mentions of death, just angst lol, references from hidden inventory arc (jjk 0).

- platonic friendship between reader and all of them.

- 1.1k words

(randomly thought "oh i love angst!" and wrote this because jjk ended in the worst way possible)

- do like, reblog and comment 🫶🏻🫶🏻

"Are you the strongest because you're Gojo Satoru? Or are you Gojo Satoru because you're the strongest?"

You were standing right behind your best friend, Gojo Satoru. You're witnessing your other best friend, well, used to be best friend, just a few meters in front of you both.

The moment those words came out of Suguru's mouth, you adverted your eyes to Satoru. You were in disbelief at how the situation turned out like this. What is even happening in front of you?

"What are you talking about, Suguru? Stop shitting around!"

You could only yell at him from afar, knowing you won't be able to control yourself when you're close to him. You were witnessing how your friends are falling apart, barriers between them getting thicker.

Suguru can only look at you with his soulless eyes. He's emotionless. Or rather, he became numb. He is numb. He massacred a whole village and both of his parents. He explained that he just hated non-sorcerers. In his eyes, they are all just monkeys.

"And you, y/n, are you even worth being a sorcerer?" That made you flinched. "What the fuck are you talking about, Suguru?" Satoru yelled at him, trying to understand what he's trying to say. You could only look at him with disappointment.

"Knowing you are born without cursed energy, you are no different from those monkeys, right?"

And that was your last straw. The tears started to fill your eyes, blurring your view. Your disappointment turned into hatred. You suppose, never in your whole life have you thought of hating on Suguru. He's your best friend after all. You clenched your fist in anger. Before you could make your way towards Suguru, Satoru held your wrist tightly.

"Y/n, don't." Satoru looked at you, you could see his eyes were getting teary as well. You were gritting your teeth.

"Why are you stopping me, Satoru? Did you even hear what that fucker said about me?!" You yelled, pointing your finger to Suguru, who stands still, unbothered. You stared at him, tears falling from your eyes down your cheeks.

"He didn't mean it..."

"Fuck you mean he didn't mean it? He's serious about this shit, Satoru!" You yelled at him, slapping his hand away from your wrist.

You could only stare at Satoru, who had his stare on Suguru. You're witnessing your friend choosing someone who betrayed the both of you. Over yourself.

You could only laugh in disbelief. "Satoru, you're fucking with me." You could see his eyes pleading at you, trying to gain your empathy.

But you had enough; you can't handle more betrayals anymore. You look over at Suguru.

"I hope I'll never see your face again in this world."

You looked over at Satoru. "And I hope you know what you're doing, Satoru." And you walked away, leaving them both to settle whatever shit. It's not like you have the energy to care anymore.

Maybe, if maybe you could turn back time. Maybe you could stop the scene in front of you from happening.

"Y/n... long time no see.." There lies Suguru, sitting against a wall, holding his wound. You could only look down on him. He was losing so much blood, and you were certain he wouldn't last long.

You stare at him in silence. You could blame him for numbing your emotions, but you didn't. You can only look at him. You won't deny that you miss him so much. You miss when you, Satoru, Suguru, and Shoko were together.

"You look rough." Satoru's voice bloomed beside you as he looked at Suguru's state too. You know he's hiding his feelings right now; you know him too well.

Suguru let out a breathy laugh. "Do I? Your student is amazing. What's his name again... Okkotsu.. that brat.." He coughed out blood.

You can only stay silent throughout the conversation. You couldn't trust yourself, knowing if you were to talk, you would break down.

Suguru looks at you, smiling. "Y/n you are too silent for my liking."

"I don't have anything worth to tell you." I said, keeping my face straight. Satoru could only steal a glance at me before kneeling down near Suguru.

He says something to him, which made Suguru laugh a little.

"At least curse me in the end." You knew too well what happened between both of them. If only you could protect your friendship, all of you would be laughing together right now. Maybe speaking ill of the higher-ups.

"Y/n, do you have any last words for him?" Satoru asked you. You stared at Suguru for a moment. And you only stayed silent, shaking your head.

"Well, what about you, Suguru? Do you wish to tell y/n anything?"

Suguru looked at you and smiled. "I'm forever grateful to have you and everyone else in my life. But I also never regret what I did, heh." Suguru said as his eyes slowly got tired. He coughed more, as his breaths were getting shorter.

Then off he goes. Suguru took a final look at both of you before closing his eyes, forever. A smile on his face.

Geto Suguru died right there, right in front of you.

You can't hold it anymore as you let the tears fall. You sobbed as you stared at the lifeless body. Satoru only looks at you, hesitating whether he should comfort you or not. He did, putting his arms around you, patting you on the back.

"Stop acting tough, Satoru. Can't you just stop being the strongest, even just for a day?" I look at him. I can't even look into his eyes to know what he was feeling, due to the blindfold.

"Remember when Suguru asked me that question years ago?" That question.

"Are you the strongest because you're Gojo Satoru? Or are you Gojo Satoru because you're the strongest?"

"I don't understand why he asked you that. I never did." I stated as I looked at Suguru's body.

Satoru could only stay silent. "Neither did I. But I guess, the answer is open for interpretation." He said while playing with his blindfold.

You stayed silent, before calming yourself. Whatever Satoru was thinking at that time, you guessed it was all about the man in front of him. You let him be.

"I'm going. Please wrap up the scene and... settle with his body." You felt your heart shatter again, seeing Suguru. You walked away from the scene, with tears falling from your eyes and the chill of autumn.

You guess this is the end of everything. It's not like you could change anything. Everything happened. It happened.

You took a deep breath before grabbing a cigarette from your pocket and lit it, inhaling the cigarette before letting out the smoke.

When you're the strongest, you forget about the weakest. When you're the weakest, you earn to be the strongest. And the cycle continues.

In the end, no one won, and maybe it's for the better.

[tippedarrows]

You know what speaks about Gabriel's character a lot too?

The fact that he was the Holder of the Amulet. Not Soren (the "leader"), not Ellegaard (the "responsible"), and we won't even talk about Magnus or Ivor.

They all agreed on giving the Amulet to Gabriel because he's the only one who everyone trusted.

What we can see through Ep1-4? Magnus and Ellegaard constantly fighting with each other and they both talks about how they didn't won't to visit Soren even though he did sent the invitations! Soren, meanwhile, is somewhat too scared to even greet them both properly, and he's too angry with Ivor.

But! Gabriel tells Jesse "Soren went missing long ago" means he doesn't know where the ginger is. Maybe Soren felt too ashamed writing to Gabriel? Maybe he couldn't look in the eyes to only member of the group who in fact could've been described as a Hero?

And still, in both scenarios Soren is more than happy to see Gabriel, unlike he is with Ellegaard &Magnus. When we choose Gabriel over Petra, first thing first Soren is worrying for Gabriel's state:

"You look terrible!"

"Terribly handsome?" (I love this old man, joking while you're dying oh gosh)

AND if Gabriel has amnesia, Soren is somehow upset and happy because at least now Gabriel doesn't remember what they all didn't, now Gabriel won't feel any shame because of it and he finally be a Hero he deserved to be! (And heartbroken face Soren has when Gabriel hears the truth)

The next fact is that doesn't matter who you choose, Ellegaard or Magnus, if Gabriel is with you, they hug each other without any thoughts. It's been years since they've seen each other and still it feels natural to hug, it feels normal, it feels needed.

And Ivor? Ivor is angry. He's angry because he knows Gabriel can do better. He knows Gabriel has everything he needs to be a Hero. He's brave (didn't run away like Ivor from WitherStorm), quickthinker (gave Amulet to Jesse knowing they will do what needed), willingly puts himself in danger to protect others (he tries to lead the group in the End even when he's sick) and much more! Ivor is angry because he knows Gabriel agreed to lie only because of his devotion to others (he's devoted to Ivor as well, but Ivor is alone and there's three of others). So Ivor comes to Gabriel not because he's the only one to be around people, but because he knows that with Gabriel he has at least a chance to change everything (sadly it didn't work out.)

The fact that Gabriel asks Jesse if he should tell the truth himself is only shows, how good he is! He could've just shut his mouth and no one Would remember about that? But no, he lost a friend because of their lies, and Jesse did as well. So he lets Jesse decide their fate.

Gabriel is the one who hold amulet, because he's the one who'll use it to help, not to hurt.

And when he gives it to Jesse, it means now Jesse is the one who hold the role of "devoted friend". We can see it through other Episodes!

The only reason Gabriel's tells Jesse that heroism stays above friends is because Gabriel doesn't want Jesse to end up in situation like he did. He doesn't want Jesse to become to devoted so he won't see who his friends turns into. Good new for you, Gabe, but his friends actually won't do anything, they're too kind! And you need to sent yours to therapy.

Oh.. oh god, I didn't expect this thing to be that long? I was rambling lol..

YES!!! SO MUCH GABRIEL ANALYSIS!!!! MOREEEEE!!!! I LOVE THSS!!!

[astaraels]

why do people think Yevgeny wasn't Mickey's son? in 3x06 there was clearly no condom used (not that Terry probably would have let Svetlana stop to get one), but there's no reason to think she wasn't using condoms with her regular clients. it's not Svetlana's fault that she was a tool used to rape Mickey—the sole blame for everything that happens in that entire situation belongs to Terry Milkovich and him alone—so why does it feel like it's just another way for people to shit on Svetlana for something that wasn't in her control? it's not as though she'd asked to get pregnant in the first place...

[goldentigerfestival]

So. I love this. The way Yuri snickers at Flynn showing his real self. The way he, without hesitation, says "yeah" to the idea that he would die in Flynn's place.

But the most important part of this entire thing, which was changed in the dub, is how Yuri specifically jokes that Flynn is trying to abandon him, and Flynn returns and tells Don he had no intention of abandoning Yuri.

Yuri does not hear this. Flynn knows that. But Flynn uses the exact same term Yuri used earlier, as if it's his answer to Yuri and saying no, I would never abandon you.

For reference:

Personally I just... love the weight of it. How Flynn will say something about Yuri that Yuri won't hear, but he still speaks it out into existence because it's how he really feels.

Just because Yuri won't hear it doesn't mean he won't say it, and in a way that's even more powerful. He's not looking for the credit of saying it. He's not looking to be recognized for saying it. He's not only expressing how he feels about Yuri somewhere that Yuri himself will hear him.

They're just his real, honest feelings, and he'll admit them even if Yuri's not within earshot.

[misscrazyfangirl321]

Oh hey I'm legitimately about to start crying over a middle-grade book. Ok.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

if dorian didn't show up, do you think louis would have shot minnie?

I do. I know some people think either he wouldn't have or he would've missed so that's why the writers had him shoot Dorian instead, but mmmmmm no, I don't personally think so. I like to think that if he had taken the shot, his shaky hands would've caused him to shoot her fatally.

Mostly because I'm already so normal about the fact that of the Ericson crew, Marlon and Louis are the only ones with a body count. Well, that we know of, but shown to us in the game, at least. Plus, we know it's Louis' first kill.

Like yeah, Clementine and AJ become part of the crew and they have bigger body counts, and if we're counting indirect kills caused by actions, then Tenn has a count... and I guess everyone has blood on their hands for blowing up the boat... but I'm talking about killed directly with a weapon like....... I lied, I'm not normal about that at all, Louis and Marlon are the ones who have killed someone in Louis' route. I'm also not normal about the fact that Louis kills Dorian and then even as he's clearly in shock, he tries to go with Clementine to get AJ, and then later on when they talk about it, he says it feels like bile but not quite and he's glad he has it in him to do it.... listen, listen, listen... I'm obsessed with that.

Anyway, so if Louis shot Minerva, I think he would've accidentally killed her and can you imagine? He's already enough of a mess after killing the woman who pinned him down and tried to cut his finger off [or succeeded] but he knew Minerva, they were friends before the twins were taken. Even Violet couldn't kill her even though that would've been the smarter thing to do, and we know thanks to meta knowledge that killing her would've saved lives, but Violet couldn't, and I don't think Louis would intentionally either.

Speaking of Violet, if Louis killed Minerva, I hate to think about what that would've done to Vi. I think she might've actually left at that point, like what was planned before it got changed to her being burned. I don't think she would've attacked Louis over it, though, like yeah she attacked Clementine in the cell but Louis? I don't know, but I don't think so just because it's Louis and he'd be a mess about it anyway.

Though if he did kill her, it would be a neat parallel to draw... y'know, because Louis forgave AJ for killing Marlon even though he was pissed and heartbroken, and Violet was annoyed with him the entire time... but could she ever forgive Louis for killing Minerva? Y'know? We already have a similar parallel with AJ shooting Tenn, but still.

If Clementine killed Minerva in that moment, though, then I could see Violet attacking her since in her eyes, Clem proved her right.

So yeah, I get why they added the Dorian kill to his route. It adds another compelling element to Louis as a character, but we also need Minerva alive for episode 4; Louis can't kill her, he can't miss, and he's not going to stay with her because we need Violet to stay on the boat and him to be on shore for all routes.

[quietwingsinthesky]

for the ship ask game, have you ever thought about simm!master/eleven? would you like to?

would i ever!!!!!!

this was the basis of one of my posts about little amy so long ago. a hypothetical s5 where the master sticks with the doctor after he regenerates. but like can we talk about how insane that dynamic between him and amelia, the literal eight year old, would be. look at me. one of the defining things of eleven's run is that the first face he saw was amy's. seared onto his hearts!!! now, imagine that happens in a world where the master did everything right to be that person, and it was still amy. the tardis crashed, and the doctor went one way and the master went the other, and by the time the master drags himself soaking wet out of what was the swimming pool and into amelia's garden, the doctor is already having dinner with some random human child.

things simm!master is not above: being a little bitch to amy about this. yes, even when she's eight. (amelia pond with her stories about her magical raggedy doctor!! ...and the trash rat who crawled out of his time machine after him and threatened to eat her. wait okay hold on i know im getting distracted here but aslkjdalkjsd rory who amy makes dress up as the doctor vs mels who insists on dressing up as the master because she craves violence and an excuse to bite people.)

ANYWAY. god. eleven who is this bottomless well of grief and rage. and the master who is so much like him in this incarnation. silly goofy guys who burn too bright, burn up everything and everyone around them. what is simm!master if not a version of eleven untempered by kindness. i wonder what the master would have to say about a version of the doctor who is aware of how scared people are of him and uses it to his advantage. who scares the rest of the universe so much that they try to lock him away and kill him and do anything they can to get rid of him. when they lock the doctor up in the pandorica, does the master give him the final shove into the chair or is he a few feet away, just barely restrained, impotently snapping and snarling to prevent this?

but never looking at it directly, right? neither of them would be able to. not at what's between them, not at what came before. if you don't talk about that time you both saved each other, then maybe you can pretend it didn't happen.

i think the master would make eleven worse, no doubt about it. i think eleven might just make the master a little better, and he'd hate that but that wouldn't stop it from happening. they might find some sort of equilibrium, just this once, a little willing to bend in the aftermath of the events of the end of time. that part of the master that will be missy one day wakes up. the part of the doctor that was once the time lord victorious gets a last glorious breath. they can have that, together.

okay. okay. one last thing. gets ill thinking about eleven who is so physically affectionate being that way with the master. with mr 'im going to kiss my wife i married for political gain like im starving'. with mr 'time lord telepathy does not require physical contact but if we don't touch foreheads right now ill die'. with mr 'fuck u but also im gonna die in your arms, don't leave or let me go before everything falls quiet.' thinks about eleven touching him and hugging him and kissing him and- thinks about the master recoiling from it, hackles raised, or shoving the doctor away when he does. thinks about the doctor not stopping. thinks about the master getting accustomed to his touch, taking it greedily. (thinks about missy kissing the doctor to greet him later.)

yeag <3

[put any ship in my ask box and i’ll give my brutally honest opinion]