#but WHY things have gotten better overall in the past few months

[rupturedtaleblog]

Hi everyone, Tile here, under more ideal circumstances, you would have gotten everything I wanted to do for the anniversary all at once, but due to my personal life becoming far more busy than I'd like, the content for this year is going to be spread out over the rest of the month.

The following is mostly going to be a few thoughts of mine, over the history of this project, and about a few personal anecdotes. If you don't care about that, feel free to just look at the art up there, it was made by VeggieUTDR.

I would like to start things off by thanking those of you who have decided to still follow this project. What started out as a stupid joke made to spite someone had transformed into a project that is incredibly personal to me. One that I, come hell or high water, will see through it to its completion, one way or another.

8 years feels like an incredible amount of time. A lot of things happened to me, and some things stayed relatively the same. It's part of why I've decided to never really cancel this. By the time Rupturedtale started, it was during the boom of Undertale AU Sprite Comics, it was a project among many of those, and one that would surely fade just like a good chunk of them.

That never really happened, though, as I'm currently talking to you. As corny as this may sound, there is a part of me inside of this thing. And it's a part of me I cannot bring myself to hurt. This whole story is about hurt, really, it'd be cruel to put it out of its misery when it can become something truly beautiful.

If you're wondering why it's taken so long, besides my life in general being busy, it's because I've spent a lot of time developing some personal projects with some good friends of mine. Ones that for the time being aren't really meant for the public eye. Creating those memories is important to me, and they will also shape how some of the things in this project are going to be.

You might get to catch a glimpse at one of them.

There isn't anything of major substance that I can show right now, the Date itself has things that will be better off being shown in their proper context. And its overall script needs to undergo revision before it can be put into game form. In the event of complete and utter catastrophic failure, you can expect it to come out in comic form instead.

In general, for the projects that are made by my hand (and the very lovely people who help said hand), I will be publishing a roadmap of what to expect in the future. There are a lot of things that I want to do, and I'm very eager to show them to you. I just need to get to them first.

Again, I'm incredibly grateful for your patience, there's not a lot of you out there, I'm aware, but for the ones that still are, I promise you're gonna get what you've been looking for.

If there is anything I've learned the past few years, is that my love for this game will never truly die, I will be thinking about it for the rest of my life.

Though, that doesn't mean I will only create under its own shadow.

You can't just play with the same toy over and over again, you know.

You'd want something new.

Eventually.

[wutheringmights]

Anyone ask for the commentary yet for the latest chapter >:3 *dies*

You’d be the first!

So this chapter is cursed. Let’s talk about that first. 

You probably noticed that my writing output has been in the gutter this year. I have not written half as much as I should have. There are two main reasons why. The first is that I finally decided to get off my ass and have a more enriching personal life. This means a lot more of my evenings and weekends have been spent exploring other hobbies or taking weekend trips. I don’t regret any of those, and they have really improved my life overall (but I do write more when I am a sad little shut-in).

The second, more pressing reason was that there was a very important wedding I was the maid of honor for. That means I have spent a lot of my free time this year planning a bachelorette, a bridal shower, and helping with general wedding prep. I honestly was not nearly as busy as an expert maid of honor would have been, but all of this took up so much of my brain space that I was having trouble being creative. Multiple times, I would go to a coffee shop with plans to write, only to spend the entire time stressing about buying a new dress or researching hotels. 

I did not realize how stressed I was about this whole thing until literally this week. The wedding is over now, and I am already biting huge chunks into the upcoming chapter. I just have so much more brain space to write. I feel free. 

All that’s to say that this chapter was primarily written the month leading up to the wedding, and my head was Not There. I was struggling to figure the chapter out, and that struggle is reflected in the quality of the prose. For that, I apologize, as inevitable as it was. 

I won’t make any major revision to this chapter, but I have plans to redo my proof-reading. There is an egregious number of typos in this chapter, more than I consider acceptable for a one person team of me. 

(That being said, my typos have gotten worse this past year; ever since AI was integrated into Grammarly and Google Docs, both have been godawful for helping me fix errors. I appreciate how lenient you all have been with my most blatant mistakes.) 

Now that all of that is established, let’s talk about this chapter.

This introduction to Proxi is really, really bad. I am frankly a little embarrassed that I went ahead and published it. While I had a vision for the first few scenes of Link trying to help Proxi and Jakucho’s aid afterwards, I didn’t realize until the day of writing that I actually had 0 plans for how Warriors and Proxi’s first conversation would go. 

I am not even joking. I have a bunch of plans for their interactions together afterwards (which will appear next chapter). But their first conversation once Proxi started to get better? None. 

So what little they talked together here feels like a waste of space. What’s worse, I don’t even know what I would change the dialogue to in order to fix it. My brain is blank. I don’t know.  It’ll probably hit me in a few weeks. This is the trouble with publishing what is essentially the first draft of a story. If my initial ideas are solid, it’s great. But when my brain farts, I’m screwed.

That being said, my favorite part of the past section is that first half where Link frets over how to help Proxi, as well as Jakucho’s speech about the fairies disappearing. 

I have been trying to subtly establish this era of Hyrule as being one that is shocking devoid of magic; having Jakucho mourn the loss of fairies and what omen that could mean feels like I am ruining things. Nonetheless, I just really like the idea of Jakucho having this small moment of wonder over seeing a fairy, as well as her verbalizing these fears that darker times are ahead. 

I think I just enjoy reading about older people having the same anxieties about the world as younger people. It’s more comforting to me than an all-knowing mentor. 

So this chapter has a lot of random names splattered all over the place. Me being me, I stole some of the names from other media and such I enjoy. I’ll point out any fun connections as I find them. 

So for Proxi’s list of names for Link, there’s two of note. The first is Grimshaw, which is the name of the male lead from Lightlark. Despite how much I talk about Fourth Wing on this blog, Lightlark is the bad book I am truly passionate about. 

The second is Wen-li, which is for Yang Wen-li from Legend of the Galactic Heroes. He’s the character of all time for me, and I will go insane if I think about him for too long.

This Proxi section was supposed to go on a little longer, but by the time it came to write it, I was 100% over this chapter. Luckily, next chapter will be a fresh slate and I can finally deliver on all my promises about Proxi’s return. 

I cannot emphasize enough how frustrating it is to know that I fucked up an important character’s return. It’s... sigh. C’est la vie. Whatever. 

Onto the present day:

So I have a particular problem with the present day section. The last chapter, this chapter, and the one I am writing now are all the same plot point in my outline. I severely underestimated how long the lead up to a Very Important Event was going to be. No doubt, I have probably made similar mistakes before. But I am trying to finish this story, so any time I have to draw out the pacing, I die a little on the inside.

I think I initially planned to just skim over how Warriors got to the castle, but then I realized that this was the politics stuff that is the supposed bread and butter of the story. But the reason why I wanted to skim over everything was (as Legend pointed out) fucking networking.

What’s worse, I got to this chapter and realized that, realistically, Warriors should have to spend at least a few months building up a cult of personality. This should be a (purposeful) multi-chapter arc. I don’t want to do that, so I tried to really emphasize how much Warriors was using his reputation as the hero and legends surrounding it to his advantage. Does it still feel unrealistic? Yeah, but we’re just going to have to cope with it. 

Sevas is named for the male lead in Ava Reid’s Juniper & Thorn, which was sitting on my desk when I realized the priest needed a name. 

Colonel Remarque is named for Erich Remarque, author of All Quiet On the Western Front. I think I had made a post name-dropping him around the time I got to this character.

Matthew Thorn... again, Thorn is for Reid’s book. Matthew was just the most bland name I could think of. 

Vlad Dubarry... so I was watching both Castlevania and Rose of Versailles and took the first and surname from both respectively. 

Between the conversation with the priest, the provost office, and Remarque, I was trying to give out a few more details every time to paint a clear picture without boring the reader by reiterating information over and over again. Unfortunately, I still managed to write three pretty boring scenes. 

That being said, I think the friction Remarque offered was interesting to write, even if I had to resist pointing out every single plot hole during it. 

So everything from the castle to Spirit being poisoned took me the longest to write. I knew it was boring, but I could not figure out a way to make it more exciting without omitting the networking stuff entirely. I didn’t really hit a stride with this chapter until I got to Spirit being poisoned. 

The entire time Spirit was being poisoned, I was rubbing my hands together maniacally. I have been searching for a good moment to have a true poisoning in this story and I finally got it. 

Also, I think if this chapter was of higher quality, someone out there would have realized that, for purely medical reasons, Hyrule had to technically give Spirit and smooch on the lips. There should be at least two very silly memes about this. But, alas. The quality.

You can tell I ran into the realization that, realistically, the Royal Guard’s structure would be more complex than I have alluded to previously. Very importantly, you can tell I realized that I should have mentioned the King’s Guard sooner if they were really going to be this powerful subsection of the Royal Guard.

I actually like how the idea that the King’s Guard is only super powerful in matters relating to the king, aka: Castle Town, and is pretty insignificant otherwise. The bureaucratic bullshit that must cause feels very real. But you can tell that I have no idea what rank that would make Endicott. I have been bending over backwards to not state that man’s ranking. 

That being said, his absence from Warriors’s social circle until now is kinda important. Put a pin in that. It will come back.

Also, Endicott is a name I stole from Over the Garden Wall. I picked it because it sounds like the name of someone important. I picked Roald at randomed.

I am really happy that a lot of you have been enjoying the growing distrust the Chain has for Spirit. Insert rant about how victims have to remain palatable in order to be emphasized with, and how tragic it is that the only person who seems to understand that is the person who traumatized him in the first place. 

I feel like I have been fumbling Time’s character a bit, and his conversation at the floor of Spirit’s bed is me finally getting back on track with him. I enjoyed writing that so much, from him trying to fold the scarf to him being upset that no one has learned their lesson yet, all while still not learning a lesson himself. 

There was going to be a comment somewhere that Spirit is in such bad shape in part because his lungs are weak from all that smoking he does, but I honestly don’t know if anyone but Spirit would make that connection. 

I also need to put Legend and Midna together more. They can be so snarky, and I want them to keep a running commentary of Warriors and Spirit’s bullshit like they are two sports announcers watching a football game.

I first imagined Spirit and Warriors’s conversation taking place on the parapet, and came to the same realization about the ladders that Spirit had. I’m glad I put them by the moat, though. The bit about the smell is probably my favorite bit of prose in the chapter. 

I also really like this conversation between Spirit and Warriors. It’s not as insanity inducing as their past bullshit has been, but it hits a few notes. I like Warriors showing off how much he understands Spirit’s abilities (via the jacket), as well as Spirit’s utter disbelief that Warriors is capable of caring for anyone but himself. 

I was also trying really hard to put more of their bullshit into subtext. I have a bad habit of having characters just state what they are feeling out loud, so I am trying to write more coded dialogue. It’s never just about a toaster, etc. 

Warriors was also having such a night of self-discovery. First he had a little moment to freak out about how much his sincere attempts to help sound like manipulation. Then he realized that he would probably never be fully exonerated from his past. Big night for him.

Being unable to fully fix your past is part of the reason why I buffer against the idea of Warriors having a redemption arc. That implies a certain amount of undoing that is just not possible. I don’t know if I am putting that well. However, I am concerned that I am letting my Catholic upbringing color my perspective.

That being said, if Catholicism was a thing in Hyrule, Warriors would be that and be plagued by Catholic Guilt

He’s Catholic coded.

Irish Catholic, to be specific. There’s a difference. 

Anyway, Four. When Four showed up, I was going to have this bit of dialogue where Spirit would allude to knowing about Vio (and therefore, Four) having a relationship with Shadow. It would have been nestled in a larger, coded bit of dialogue where Four would obliquely imply that he was starting to suspect what the Hot Mess is. I cut it because A) Spirit is so socially inept that he cannot do subtly like that, and B) Spirit’s spirit senses would not give him the ability to know about Shadow. 

I also did not want to commit to Four figuring it out first, if at all. 

I have so many ideas about what Warriors the Symbol means to the people of Castle Town that I will hopefully be able to elaborate on in this upcoming chapter.

Realistically, Hyrule Castle should probably be more like a fortress. But again, I have been watching The Rose of Versailles, and I just really liked the idea of the castle being this symbol of opulence during a time of poor economics. The people are struggling but the nobles are thriving, babes. 

Also, Endicott is so much fun to write. He’s like the true antagonistic version of Lincoln. That man was enjoying making Warriors squirm, and I was having a blast writing it. The sexual favors line? I was utterly delighted. 

Realistically, Endicott probably could have been replaced with Whitestone. However, Whitestone is still on the front and I don’t regret putting him there to be Wind’s superior during his short stint as a soldier. (Even if I still think I could have cut out Whitestone in favor of giving Impa more to do.)

I also feel bad for killing Meemaw off so suddenly, but I was enchanted by the idea of her name having to be crossed off because the death was that  recent. 

I also was going to have Endicott spare Warriors for unknown reasons, with the reveal that Ganondorf had been bribing him coming later in the story, However, I was so worried about this seeming too-easy for Warriors that I decided to reveal that detail early. 

Okay, King of Hyrule stuff.

I’m trying to play at this idea of Zelda’s reputation not matching her actual role. Earlier in the story, Warriors describes her as a socialite with no political sense, and Zelda derisively thinks that of herself as well. Then that bit about her being the face of the kingdom is supposed to contradict that perception. She can’t just be a socialite if she had been the mouthpiece of the king since she was a child. 

There’s supposed to be multiple mistakes going on here: Warriors assuming the worst of Zelda, a sexist perception of Zelda by society as a whole, and Zelda feeling worthless because she knows she’s just a symbol. Not sure if I conveyed any of that well. 

Reuenthal’s dementia was caused in part by a stroke, but he also has a condition called prosopometamorphopsia, which is a form of face blindness where faces become distorted the longer you look at them. 

Fun fact is that I generally knew that there was some kind of condition that had made Reuenthal isolate from other people, but I did not pick prosopometamorphopsia until I read this article from the New Yorker. I won’t go as far as to say that I wrote an accurate version of the disorder; I definitely played up the emotional distress it causes for dramatic effect. That is probably problematic, so please do not trust this story as a definitive source on it. 

This also went unsaid in the story, but I imagine that because every daughter in the royal family is named Zelda, they probably go more by their middle names. I almost named dropped one of her sisters as Zelda Artemis, just to be mean.

The last line “A week later, everything went to hell” is, admittedly, very silly. I had a whole section describing what that meant written, but it seriously sucked. I am in the process of rewriting it now, and it’s already so much better. Plus, now that I have another chapter to hit these plot points, I can explore a more daring version of my original idea. Very excited for it. 

That being said, I would 100% cut off that last line and probably improve the chapter by 3%.

And that’s the chapter! Again, I am so sorry that it was such substandard quality. I promise that the next chapter will be better. 

In other news, can I get your opinion on something. Ever since polls came out, I have wanted to do a little census poll on how many people know about CTB, read it, or choose to read it. Just to gage how big the actual audience is. 

On one hand, I think it would be interesting. On the other, it’s a practice in vanity that is very antithetical to how hard I try to be nonchalant about everything. I don’t know. Let me know what you think. 

[kangals]

Kep report card for month 6 (omg it has been a full HALF YEAR of keppy already)

I changed most of the categories since most of them were really more designed for tiny 2-month old puppy, so these are more relevant for adolescence. I don’t really expect other people to read them all, but it’s nice for me having a record to refer back to.

Leash Walking: 🟢/🟡 overall good, but definitely pulls on a harness unless he is tired or I am constantly checking him (not “yank my arm off” bad, but annoying). he doesn’t do so on a collar, so I might switch to that for a while.

Manners - People: 🟡 wants to jump up on everyone he sees and gets very overstimulated by New Friend Attention. he’s very social still, not sure how much he’ll grow out of that (Stellina did, but I don’t remember if she was quite this extroverted at this age)

Manners - Dogs: 🟢/🟡 friendly bordering on annoying, but he does take corrections well and will give space without getting offended, so that’s a green. I give him a partial yellow here because he likes other dogs so much that he gets annoying about it while on leash and has a hard time focusing on anything else.

Manners - Home: 🟢 he’s really good at home, he settles well and aside from very basic puppy mischief (jumping up on the counters, taking things to chew) I can generally leave him to his own devices without issue. and is now housetrained, thank god.

Manners - Public Spaces: 🟢/🟡 really likes going places but just gets overstimulated about it, so it’s a lot of pulling on the leash and not able to settle. just needs more exposure and time I think. did pee recently at Petco but there’s so much dog traffic there it’s hard to say why.

Grooming: 🟡 trying my patience lol. he does solidly “ok” for brushing and nails as long as he’s got a distraction, but gets increasingly wiggly when restrained so we need to work on that.

Recall: 🟡 yellow but I don’t expect anything better at this age lol. Good at home, other places his brain is often checked out elsewhere. He is noticeably more responsive to voice command/tone of voice than Stellina was, which is nice.

Crating: 🟢 no issues, crates up well and doesn’t throw tantrums anymore. Does occasionally still have issues settling but that’s more just sitting upright/pacing than panic, and it does eventually go, so I’m not too concerned. Have only tried leaving him free alone for 20 minutes and he did fine, so hopefully we can start working that up and phasing out daytime crating.

Fear/Anxiety: 🟢 honestly very chill. he has startled at a few objects recently (trailer hitch, and one particular morning glory flower that I guess gave him bad vibes idk) but it’s a very upright, hackles up “hey what’s that!” Response as opposed to true fear or shyness, and he recovers fast once he had a chance to check out the issue. balks at new stairs sometimes, but that’s really it.

Volume: 🟢 green by collie standards lol. he’s significantly less barky than Stellina was, and mostly just barks when he’s playing or someone else is talking to him. does bark at ppl walking past the yard which is annoying but not obsessively so.

Puberty: 🟢 he’s a big fan of marking instead of just emptying the whole bladder at once, but so far he’s still only doing it outside so I don’t really care. hasn’t tried to hump, does sometimes get too interested in other dogs pee, but so far he’s controlling himself so Ball Privileges remain intact (no pun intended).

overall I’d call him a 🟢 with a few 🟡 caveats, all pretty typical issues for an 8month old herding breed. certainly no red flags or things that have really got me concerned, he’s a very happy, stable dog which I’m always thankful for. if the housetraining ends up being his biggest issue I think we’ll have gotten off very easy! but we’ll see what else adolescence throws at us.

[maaarshieee]

⎯⎯ ୨ Sick Days ୧ ⎯⎯

ੈ♡˳ Il Dottore x Gn!Reader *ೃ༄

ੈ♡˳ 2.0k words ┊ Fluff-Hurt/comfort *ೃ༄

ੈ♡˳ Masterlist *ೃ༄

author's note ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

now isn't this such an interesting plot? hehe,, something short to keep the creative juices flowing plus i think it's funny how unhinged my zandik interpretation is... have a great day/night!! OH AND IM BEGGING FOR PANTALONE, WANDERER, ALHAITHAM AND DOTTORE REQUESTS HEHEHE, also this got out of hand...

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ cw: canon typical violence, basic dottore warnings, mentions of experiments, arguing, choking but not really?

It wasn't often that you'd get sick ever since you got together with Dottore. Your immune system has gotten better throughout the years, all because of the medicines and special treatments Dottore has put you through. Of course, these were only for you, and everything he has done only benefited you. He never dared to hurt you on purpose, only wishing to keep you healthy, safe, and sound.

So whenever you get sick, usually once every year, he'd be the one keeping an eye on you. Not a segment, no, screw everything else! He will take care of you and he will not give a damn about the Fatui until you've fully recovered. You always tease him for this, cooing at how sweet he is, which ultimately pisses him off and leads him to give you the most bitter concoctions he could ever make. You should be honored that Dottore himself is taking care of you (not like you had any say about it, he will get upset if you don't let him nurse you back to health).

With a cold, wet piece of cloth on your forehead, sniffling lightly as you struggled to breathe due to your clogged nose, you couldn't help but reminisce when your eyes wandered over Dottore's back. At the moment, he's taking notes of your vitals and overall health for the past few months, making sure nothing else was amiss. "Hehe, this reminds me of those times..." You rasped from your bed, snuggling more into your blankets as you closed your sore eyes. The sounds of Dottore's clothes shifting and the click of his heels indicated he was walking towards you, then the silent screech of the wooden chair told you that he had taken a seat next to your bed.

Even without opening your eyes, you could see the huge scowl on his face. How could he not? After all, he was an absolute mess when he got sick.

"Zandik, I swear to Celestia I will strap you down on one of your operation tables if you don't stay on your bed and let yourself recover in the normal way!"

"I can make my own damn medicine, why do I have to drink those ones you've bought at the market!? Have you no faith in my medicinal expertise!?"

"YES. I DON'T, BECAUSE YOU'VE POISONED YOURSELF 3 TIMES ALREADY. GET YOUR ASS BACK TO YOUR BED."

From early in the morning, to late at night, your neighbors always send noise complaints to the house you're currently renting while you studied at the Akademiya whenever Zandik was sick. Which was pretty often! With his ungodly sleep schedule, nonexistent breaks, and endless business, you wonder if his specialty as a doctor was only a bullshit thing he made up because he's always driving himself to death with his research. Oh, and he forgets to eat at least 2 meals a day.

And with him being sick, you're splurging extra mora to buy food from restaurants and taking them back home because you couldn't cook for shit. Zandik was the cook of your shared home; he even gives you death threats when you step into his 'territory' (the kitchen).

He's seriously the end of you. You don't understand why you even put up with it.

After physically wrestling Zandik back to his bed, hiding his damned scrolls and files about his research out of his reach and locked inside your drawers, you can finally put a wet piece of cloth back onto his forehead, watching him shiver at its coldness. Heaving a small sigh of relief, you unbuttoned his messy dress shirt and began wiping his body with another wet cloth with Zandik's hands gripping your wrist but still allowing you to rub all over his warm chest. It seemed to be a tad effective, his tense muscles slowly relaxing under your touch and his furrowed brows finally straightened, the back of his head falling onto the pillow.

"Fuck's sake Zandik," You muttered under your breath when his breathing grew heavy, struggling to breathe through his clogged nose. Taking out an ointment that you've been working on for the past few days, you sneaked your hand under his sweaty head to lift it up lightly, letting him sniff the ointment and biting your bottom lip, hoping that it was effective. And it proved to be a success when his breathing slowly smoothened, cheering internally. "Good, it worked." You shook your head in disbelief as you began rubbing the ointment on his shoulders, all the way down to his chest, trying to alleviate the ache in his body by massaging him. "Can't believe the ointment worked considering I only picked up medicine ever since you came into my life."

As expected, Zandik groaned at the returning warmth on his chest, shooting you an accusing glare but you only pressed your hands a little harder against his shoulders, rubbing with careful motions. Before Zandik could open his mouth, you quickly explained the ointment you made. "It's made out of a bunch of cough suppressants, topical analgesics, and some essential oils. Not a cure for any illness, but it helps relieve muscle pain and its vapors can help clear your breathing." You say each word slowly, letting his hazy mind catch up with your explanation. "Feeling any better?"

Zandik let out a grunt, baring his teeth at you, before silently admitting that he was feeling much better than before. "... My muscles don't ache anymore and my nose isn't clogged." Then he scowled again, eyeing the small container of ointment in your hands. "I'm not fond of its strong smell and warmth."

"Well, that's kinda the main thing about it."

Zandik rolled his eyes, shuffling on the bed and trying to sit up, only to be flicked on the forehead by you and laid back down. "Then I ought to make a better ointment than yours." He swatted your hand away, and you could he just became more aggravated. "What's the point if it's not a cure? Just because it made me feel better doesn't mean you're better than me."

His words definitely shocked you. And enraged you. So much so that you've accidentally dropped the basin full of water, where you've been dripping the piece of cloth, down to the floor. Zandik's eyes snapped to yours and he saw, for the first time, the way your eyes so viciously glared at him, mouth curled into a deep frown. "Well, excuse me for making an ointment only for you because I was concerned about your well-being because when you're sick, it's 10 times worse since you don't give 2 shits about yourself." You started, and Zandik wanted to argue but you kept going, shutting him up when he felt your hand wrap around his neck, squeezing the sides of his neck, but not entirely choking him. This caught him off guard, eyes widening at your growing rage. "I know you're bound to make some discovery that can make you immune to most illnesses, that's how good I think you are. But by the time you'll reach it, you'd be dead because you refuse to acknowledge that your body is deteriorating from your lack of care! And I have to care in your stead!"

Zandik struggled to speak with how tight your hand was wrapped around his neck, but he managed to muster out a whisper. "Then why do you care?" If he's such a burden to you, why even go as far as wasting your time on him? Your concerns and worries when he clearly inconveniences you. He knew that you've been missing classes and your due dates for your projects just to help him get through his fever and make that ointment, but he doesn't get why.

That seemed to anger you even more, but now it paired with glistening tears in your eyes as you grabbed his unbuttoned collar, hands shaking. Zandik couldn't tell if it was from your fury or something else. "Because I love you, damn it! I care about you because ever since you barged into my life, I started falling for your stupid antics and got invested in your research!" Zandik seemed stunned at your confession, his hands slowly making their way onto your wrists. "I started caring when you suddenly promised that you'd make me immortal alongside you! When you'd cook for me every damn day because I'd go broke or starve to death if you don't... A blind person could say you care about me as much as I care about you, so I made this stupid fucking alternative medicine to make this easier for you!"

You let go of his collar, letting him fall onto his back which made his head spin. His head pounded painfully from the massive headache he got from your yelling and manhandling, but could barely care, only keeping his eyes on you, conflicted. Throwing the small container of ointment to the ground, you picked up the fallen basin and walked out of his room. With one last glance back at him, you cursed under your breath before saying; "Don't get up and sleep, Zandik." Then you shut the door with a slam, leaving him all alone in his room.

For the next few days, you noticed that he'd grown more compliant to your demands, only reduced to grumbling against your wishes but still obeying nonetheless. You could only assume that the words you've said to him that night affected him, seeing that he's even willingly putting with your ointment's strong smell. In no time, he's back to his normal self, no longer sick and back to conducting his research, but trying his best to be a little healthier. At least now he's eating more than he usually did, and the bags under his eyes have lessened.

You were extremely relieved, and after a few days of his recovery, you finally decided to stir problems back into the house with a big smirk on your lips. "Glad you're taking yourself now, Zandik." You commented one morning, catching a glimpse of him drinking coffee on the kitchen counter whilst you washed the dishes. All you got from him was a grunt as a reply, but that was enough for you. "Though, I didn't think you'd actually believe me when I told you I loved you." You heard writing pause while you kept your head turned back from him, already imagining the expression on his face. "I guess you can say my acting was pretty convincing, wasn't it?" But it truly wasn't acting, you did love Zandik, and in the heat of the moment, your emotions caught up to you last night. It wasn't intentional, your confession, but it was your true feelings. You just didn't want him to take it seriously at the time being since you were still unsure if it was mutual. You have no idea going through his head most of the time.

Not uttering a single word, he threw his cup of coffee at the wall, right next to your head. Without sparing a single moment, you ran toward the doorway, catching sight of his seething form with a laugh escaping your lips. You'll say it was a joke for now, something you had said to convince him to let you care for him. It wasn't that bad either, since he'd begun sleeping and eating more out of spite, just so you wouldn't be the one taking care of him if he ever gets sick again.

"I'm sorry for lying to you, dear." With a chuckle, you leaned into his touch as he caresses your warm cheek. In his hand was a small container of the ointment you created just for him all those years ago. Contrary to his displeasure, you quite liked the strong smell of the ointment. "But I really did love you at that point in our relationship."

Dottore pushed back the hairs that stuck on your forehead due to your sweat. He had a small frown tugging on his lips, "Was that necessary?" He sighed and shook his head at the memory, slipping off his gloves so he could put the ointment on your skin. You merely shrugged, but your smile remained. "Nope, but it did make you think about how you felt toward me, right?"

"I suppose so." He says, planting a kiss on your cheek.

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[sholmeser]

aa4 is so good because it’s about ignorance. throughout the trilogy we realize that phoenix is aware of the issues in the judicial system, but he largely takes on a blasé attitude towards them: when he learned about the law, things were already that way. a system that utilizes jurors is a thing of the past, something contained solely to courtroom dramas from the previous century; nobody currently practicing remembers what it was like anymore. phoenix brings up how trials have been contained to a maximum of three days in aa1 and then never considers this again; he can’t because, like the vast majority of people, he accepts it when someone tells him that something is normal. he thinks that this is normal and that things will never change and so he goes through the trilogy—which only has legal corruption as a very minor theme (save for perhaps in rise of the ashes), and never discusses the issues with the judicial system outright—remaining completely indifferent to these issues.

and it’s this indifference that comes back to fuck phoenix over later: he’s completely ignorant of all of the issues related to the way the legal system is structured, and so he doesn’t think twice when accepting the diary page from trucy, doesn’t think twice about presenting it for the world to see, loud and proud and full of confidence. phoenix doesn’t think about the consequences of his actions in the context of the world that he lives in, and this is what gets him disbarred.

and then enter apollo, who would have been just like phoenix. he’s a greenhorn and he’s nervous as hell and it’s likely that the idea of a corrupt system never even crossed his mind prior to turnabout trump or even succession. but then kristoph gets arrested and phoenix takes him under his wing and apollo learns. he learns and experiences first-hand over the course of just a few months what phoenix couldn’t comprehend in three years and change. apollo learns about the problems in the system because phoenix tells him about them. phoenix, whose mentor died less than a month after his first trial, never had something like that.

and so aa4 teaches us to always, constantly, be questioning the ethicality of the world we live in, of the decisions that the people who came before us made. because our judicial system—and our world overall—has so many problems ingrained all the way down to its core. aa5/6 canon notwithstanding, phoenix’s introduction of the jurist system wouldn’t have fixed everything. far from it. but things would have gotten better, and that’s what’s important: things would have gotten better and apollo would have learned and phoenix would have successfully trained a new generation to do what he could not, and this is why apollo is so willing to put his life on the line for the cause of the greater good in turnabout revolution. because he can see the issues and he can appreciate them and he can want to fix them.

and so aa4 serves to tell us that we can always be better. we always have the power to enact the change we want to see, but this can’t happen if we can’t root out the problem in the first place. and that’s why it’s so good in the context of how phoenix behaves in the entire trilogy, and that’s why it’s so important that it’s through a fresh set of eyes instead of phoenix’s own once again. aa4 tells us to not be ignorant and open our eyes instead. to see the problem and be the change we want to see.

[drunkkenobi]

Oh boy oh boy, here we go.

I waited until this week to do a Ghost Files spreadsheet update because I wanted to do it the same week that I record the older videos. (I have two spreadsheets, one that I only record once a month and one that I do every week) I wanted to see overall what a difference GF has made to Watcher’s shows and views. But first!

All of these videos blow the previous “fastest to one million” Watcher records out of the water. Every Ghost Files episode has hit it in 29 hours or less.

Trending continues to baffle me. As you can see, St. Ignatius did not trend, but had the best opening weekend of them all. I will not and do not understand trending.

The Debriefs are doing about on par that the PostMortems did, with these actually doing better than the most recent PMs did in 2021. They are also quite meatier episode lengths.

You can’t really compare GF to anything else on Watcher’s slate because it’s so doing so far and above everything else. So I’ve been comparing it to the final few seasons of BFU. It’s right on track with those videos, which is pretty amazing considering GF is under a completely different name and channel. I know those of us Watcher fans who have been here since the beginning find the fact that so many people didn’t know it existed baffling, but the algorithm is bizarre and cruel, so I think it’s a huge accomplishment for Ryan and the crew to be right on track with its predecessor.

Also, it is very sweet to me that right now, the top 3 Watcher videos are all from a different Watcher founder. Waverly Hills at #1, Simu’s Dish Granted at #2, and Puppet History’s Dancing Plague at #3. Aw.

One of things I’ve been most excited about with tracking these numbers is how other Watcher series are doing now that Ghost Files is out and so big. This will probably get long, so under a cut.

A lot of Watcher series are up right now, but only the Ryan and Shane shows. Unfortunately, none of Steven or other creators’ shows have gotten a boost from GF. The two exceptions to this are two recent DG episodes. The Uncle Roger episode continues to perform very well (at 908k and counting, twice as much as any other episode from this season) and bless his heart, Zach Kornfeld’s episode got a mini-boost after all the Try Guys drama broke. None of the other Watcher videos featuring Keith or Zach had notable boosts, though. (thank god they never had Ned on, am I right?)

The newest season of TMS has gained an average of 69k (nice) views since GF premiered. Compared to a 4 week run in August, they gained a total of 26k views. The other seasons also got some mild boosts, except the most recent holiday one for whatever reason.

Newest season of AYS averaged new ~14k views over a 4 week period before GF. Now it has averaged ~49k views. Older seasons also got a bit of a boost, although interestingly again, not the second most recent one as much. Maybe people started the playlists at the beginning after watching most recent seasons and didn’t get to the second most recent ones yet?

Most recent season of Puppet History is up to 50k new views per episode since GF, compared to ~28k in the same time period. Older Puppet Histories are also doing very well across the board. Will be interested to see how much this continues with the new season on deck next.

And finally, our dearly beloved Weird and/or Wonderful World. It is not up across the board, but a few episodes have gotten boosts in the past month. Solvang is up 24k, Roller Derby was up 21k, Pop Pals 52k, and Pie Shop 29k. Not sure why only these got boosted, but I will take it. Watcher, please, give this show another chance.

Oh also Tourist Trapped is up 50k.

As of today, October 17, 2022, Watcher has 209,373,478 views across 221 videos. This averages out to 947,391 views per video. This is up from 887k per video that I recorded a month ago. Jesus fucking Christ.

I also subtracted every video that’s premiered since 9/19 to see how the average changes without Ghost Files numbers (or that one off AYS). The average for the 213 videos that premiered before GF is 913k, which is still up quite a bit.

Watcher has gained ~200k new subscribers (at 2.26m) to the channel during this time as well. Their patreon has also gone completely bananas in terms of members. They’re at 6300(!!!!) right now, which again, completely bananas. I know a lot of these folks will probably dip after GF ends for the season, but all of this support only means good things for Watcher. They’ve got more wiggle room now to travel again and try new things and give new creators more shots. After everything we’ve watched this channel go through over the past two and a half years, I could not be prouder. 

As always, thanks y’all for reading! I very much appreciate all the love and nice comments and tags I see on these posts. Glad we are all numbers nerds that are overinvested in Watcher. 

[sarahowritesostucky]

📖"Merry & Bright"

Part 2 - "The Pharmacy"

Rated: Teen

Pairing: Steve x Bucky

Tags: a/b/o, mpreg, misogyny, sexism, alpha Steve, omega Bucky

Summary: Bucky runs into an alarming roadblock when he tries to pick up his birth control at the pharmacy.

Part 2 - The Pharmacy

He runs a few errands just before noon, stopping at the pharmacy to pick up his birth control and at the florists to put in an order for something that he and Steve can gift to Pepper and Tony the following week.

He figures flowers are a decent, non-food way to say ‘thank you’ for having been so graciously hosted in Stark Tower once again. He selects a wicker cornucopia basket full of sunflowers and russet-colored mums.

Tony had offered to house them the minute he’d gotten wind that they were thinking of returning to New York. The long term plan for their family is still Brooklyn, but renovations on the Cobble Hill house are taking longer than anticipated. Bucky had already been seven months pregnant when they made the move back down. Between that and the girls, and then the birth and all the stress and turmoil that comes along with a newborn in the house, living in the middle of a construction zone was never something Bucky was going to seriously consider—even if the alternative meant spending that year’s major holidays with Tony Stark. 

Oh well. Tony’s not a bad guy. He helped Steve and the resistance, back during the war. He managed to give Bucky hope in the middle of all that misery; hope for a future, a better life, a return to some sort of normalcy. And though the other omega has always refused to admit it, Bucky knows that Tony’s the reason why he currently has his prosthesis and isn’t still waiting at the back of a line of thousands upon thousands of equally-deserving amputees. 

No, it’s not up for any kind of dispute that Tony Stark is a very good person overall, it’s just that he’s also very … extra, and all events surrounding him are thus extra. The holidays this year aren’t going to be the low key, intimate, homey family events that Bucky had pictured having with his Alpha and his new pup and the girls. It’s going to be a bit more ��� well, more. 

But that’s okay! He’s already mourned the would-be’s of the cozy storybook Thanksgiving that they won’t be having in their forever family home this year. Next up, he’ll mourn Christmas—though he still needs to have a talk with Tony to make sure the billionaire understands that he can’t just go gifting Sarah and Becca prop planes or ponies or whatever and setting that up as the ‘norm’ in the girls’ minds, even if they are living in the Tower this year.

For the past six months they’ve been living in the same apartment they vacated three years ago, and it’s gone exactly as Bucky feared it would. The girls adore their ‘crazy uncle Tony’ who lives upstairs. They cry whenever Steve or Bucky gently tries to remind them that they’ll be moving into a house next year. And it’s not just the girls who are getting attached. The Tower is luxurious and addictive in its own insidious ways. Steve’s commute will never be better than it is now, Jarvis is basically Bucky’s housekeeper, P.A., and his second nanny, and Bucky is slowly but surely becoming re-addicted to the building’s high-tech amenities. 

This was the same issue they ran into when they moved up to Cambridge for Bucky’s grad school—nobody wanting to give up the finer things in life for the simpler things in life. But look what it’d gotten them! Three years together in a tiny New England cottage, where snowy winters and close quarters had made them so many wonderful family memories to cherish forever. That’s something that money simply cannot buy, and it’s what Bucky wants for his family. It’s why they’re having an historic brownstone renovated and restored to an adapted form of its original glory. Bucky’s even able to admit that he’s turned it into a bit of a personal comfort object at this point. Just like Becca covets her ratty Olaf doll whenever she’s stressed or sick, 704 Henry St. is what Bucky’s been holding onto like a lifeline to pull him through the slog of these past few, postpartum months.

He gets to the pharmacy and passes the time spent waiting in line by daydreaming and scrolling through his Pinterest boards for the house. He’s got one entire board solely dedicated to decorating ideas, broken down even further by individual holiday. Bucky’s talked Steve to death about the decorations he’s got dreamed up for next year’s Christmas, but his husband is decidedly less interested in these things than Bucky has been. “Sounds great, babe,” is the general response he gets most days, and he’s made his peace with the fact that perhaps interior design is just something omegas enjoy more naturally than alphas do. Cliches have to originate from somewhere, after all, and this is by no means the most hard-to-swallow of the gendered stereotypes that Bucky has come to accept about himself since he first became domestic with Steve. 

So his husband doesn’t care what he drapes on the original 1880’s Tudor revival bannisters, so what? That just means there’ll be no real competition on ideas, and Bucky will get his way. That works fine for him. He takes an almost vindictive level of pleasure in making mundane choices for himself these days, and he knows—because his therapist has made sure that he knows—that it has everything to do with the three years he spent being a choiceless broodmare for the state.

Whatever. That doesn’t make his new penchant for (slightly modernized) gilded age interior design any less aesthetically correct. Bucky’s got taste.

He’s just pinned another porch decoration to the sub-board, when his turn comes up in line and he steps forward. “Hi,” he says to the pharmacist, closing out the app and looking up. “Prescriptions for James Barnes-Rogers?”

The pharmacist is a friendly beta woman, but she falters once Bucky’s given her his name and she’s looked up his info on the computer. “Oh. Um, sorry. This’ll just require both signatures of …” she cranes her neck as she’s sliding a clipboard and pen towards him, looking like she expects to see someone else there with him. “Um, do you have …”

“The prescription’s for me,” Bucky reassures her. “James Barnes-Rogers?” He pulls his wallet out and retrieves his ID to hand over, rattling off his birthdate as well because he thinks that she just needs him to prove who he is, but the pharmacist is shaking her head and looking apologetically across the counter

“I’m sorry Sir, but this medication is an oral birth control meant for omegas.”

“I am omega.” Bucky frowns when she still hesitates. “I don’t understand. This isn’t the first time I’ve filled this here. What’s the holdup?”

The woman smiles tightly. “It’s been reassigned as a schedule two drug.”

“O-kay.” Bucky shrugs and goes to pull out his credit card instead. “What does that mean?”

“... A prescription like this needs the signature of both parties who’re planning to use it.”

He must blink at her for a full five seconds, he’s so taken aback. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Unfortunately, yes. So you’ll have to come back with your Alpha. I’m sorry.”

Bucky shakes his head, squinting at her. “Okay. First of all, who said my partner is alpha?” He remembers his mating bite, which definitely shows above the neckline of his jogging shirt. He tenses and has to resist the urge to reach up and cover it with his hand. “I don’t understand,” he says tightly. “It’s my medication. It’s going in my body.”

“Yes but I’m afraid we need both parties’ signa—”

“Yeah you said that already,” Bucky snaps. “What the hell?”

“Sir, I really am sorry but there’s nothing I can do. It’s a federal regulation. It’s meant for your safety. Perhaps if you just come back with your spouse—”

“And how the fuck do you get off assuming I’m married?!” he yells. The woman purses her lips and her eyes slide down to the wedding band on Bucky’s left hand. Bucky curls his hand into a fist reflexively. “Why do you need ‘both parties’ signatures?” he growls. “That’s ludicrous. It’s my birth control!”

“Unfortunately it’s the law, Sir. Both the omega and the alpha patients need to be on the script, and you both need to sign the waiver.”

“What waiver?” he snaps.

She juts her chin out and points to the clipboard. “The liability waiver acknowledging that you both understand the effects and risks of this medication. It’s a recognized abortifacient.”

“‘Abortifacient’?” Bucky scowls. “It’s a birth control pill.” His eyes rake over the woman, taking note of the little cross on the necklace she’s wearing. “The fuck is going on?”

Her eyes narrow at him. “You don’t have to curse at me, Sir. Both the omega and alpha patients have to sign. So if you’ll please just come back with your husband or wife—”

“Maybe I’m not using it with my ‘husband or wife’,” Bucky snaps, voice rising as his face heats up in anger. “Ever heard of casual sex? Maybe I’m fucking the mailman! Hell, maybe I’m going to a gang bang! Six guys at once. Do they all have to come and co-sign for my birth control?!” He realizes how loud he’s being and looks back over his shoulder at the rest of the store, where several other people who are shopping have stopped and turned their heads. At the endcap of the nearest aisle there’s an alpha who’s been perusing the boxes of hair dye, his wide eyes glued to Bucky and the pharmacist. Bucky points at him. “What if it’s him?”

“... I’m sorry?” It takes the pharmacist a moment to collect herself, and when she does, her expression turns heavily disapproving. “Sir,” she scolds. “That’s not—”

“Him!” Bucky insists, shooting her another dirty glare before he turns and stalks over to the bewildered man at the endcap. “Are you alpha?” He can tell by scent that he is, and reaches out to shake his hand. “I’m James. What’s your name?”

“Erm … R-ralph.” He shakes Bucky’s hand, albeit while looking over his shoulder towards the pharmacy counter. “What’s … happening?” he whispers.

Bucky waves his hand dismissively. “Nothing. You were listening in on our conversation, right? You heard all that, just now?”

“I … yea—n-no. No I did not. Was not. Do-doing that.”

Bucky sighs and grabs him by his jacket sleeve. “Just help me with this for a sec, will you? Fucking ridiculous.” He steers the alpha over to the still-disapproving pharmacist. “Him,” Bucky tells her angrily, taking the clipboard before she can pull it back and handing it over to his new friend. “Sign here for our birth control, Honey.”

Ralph’s face goes beet red. “Oh, um …”

“Just sign it, will you?” 

“Sir,” the pharmacist fumes. “This isn’t the—” 

“What? You wanted a partner, he’s my partner. I’m fucking him.”

“That is not. true,” she grits. “You just met him.”

“You gonna prove otherwise?” Bucky jabs his pointer finger down on the counter as he says, “He’s alpha. It’s his sperm, my egg, and he’s fucking signing it, okay?!” 

“This is highly inappropriate, Sir. You are not—”

“Right after we leave here!” Bucky yelps manically. “Not even gonna make it all the way home. Nope! We’re going to fuck right out in the parking lot, right in our car. Isn’t that right, Honey?”

Ralph, who has by now scribbled his signature and is handing the clipboard and pen back to Bucky, doesn’t seem to know what to say. He just looks mortified. Bucky spends a whole heartbeat feeling bad about having put the guy on the spot, but then the pharmacist gets snippy and is telling Bucky that he needs to sign, too. Bucky grabs the pen up and nearly tears the paper with how violently he signs his name next to where it reads, ‘Omega Patient counseled:’

“There.” He shoves the clipboard back across the counter. “Done. Signed. ‘Abortion approved’. You happy? Oh and by the way? I’ve had an abortion: This is not the abortion pill.”

She goes tight-lipped, taking the clipboard back and primly ringing up his purchase. “That’ll be eleven dollars and eighty cents,” she sniffs. 

Bucky stares her down as he taps his card to pay, and the split second that she’s got the receipt printed and stapled to the bag, he’s snatching it out of her hands. “Fucking ridiculous,” he hisses, whirling around to leave. “Stay out of my goddamn uterus.”

“I don’t set the policy, Sir,” her snotty little voice cuts out from behind. “These rules are just to make sure people are educated about what they’re putting in their bodies.”

Bucky’s fingers curl into the crinkly paper of the pharmacy bag. He watches C-SPAN, he knows that’s not what it’s about, just like he knows a fucking birth control pill isn’t an ‘abortifacient’, and that no one but a holy-fucking-roller would ever call it that. He’s just about ready to turn back around and snap at her about how the only thing that’s getting ‘put in his body’ is his husband’s dick.

… But then his eyes catch on poor Ralph, who is already back at the endcap shelves—ostensibly intent on his shopping, but still looking quite mortified. His fingers hover over a box and he picks it up with a still-red face.

For Ralph’s sake, Bucky restrains himself from any further nasty comments, choosing to walk away from the nitwit pharmacist and towards the exit instead. “Thank you,” he mutters as he’s passing by. And then, nodding at the box of Midnight Black #106 that the other man is considering, furtively advises, “... don’t do it.”

Masterlist

If you liked what you read and feel so inclined, please consider dropping a tip in the Kofi🍵 cup!

[houseofbrat]

HOB - Do you believe the story that just came out about her medical condition being leaked?

If it is true, it’s well within the public interest to publish the truth because KP the LIED when they briefed the media initially that her surgery was “non-cancerous”.

I think this is just another story spoon fed by KP to paint themselves as forever victims. The Daily Mail is calling William “dutiful” today with a straight face for…taking another month off 🙄

Kensington Palace seems to have a credibility problem when it comes to their pr timeline, which is in addition to their usual incompetence issues.

On Sunday, 17 March 2024, Roya Nikkhah published an article whereupon a "royal source" said, "I can see a world in which the princess might discuss her recovery out on engagements. If she was going to do it, that’s how she would do it.” Meanwhile, Forbes publishes an article with the rumor that the BBC has been told to be on alert for an announcement from the Royal Family regarding Kate's health.

It would have taken Roya a bit of time to gather information from her KP sources to write that article, and Roya clearly does have sources at KP, given all the exclusives she's gotten from them in the past few years, and publish it in the Sunday papers. So why push that line through the UK press, such as The Sunday Times, that Kate will only talk about it in the distant future IF THE REAL PLAN was to always announce it when the kids go on their term/Easter break?

Well, if the Daily Mail's recent article is true, then it makes a lot more sense that the video happened because they--KP, Kate & Will--felt forced to do it. Supporting evidence of KP having no real pr strategy is found with Valentine Low's recent comments in this video, starting at the 6:20 mark.

"But you do have to ask yourself whether they had the right strategy because there was so much madness around them, and it was very damaging for a while and i don't think the royal family, well, Kensington Palace had really anticipated how bad it would get. But of course, it was all fueled when William suddenly pulled out of that memorial service for his godfather, King Constantine of Greece. Now, it's not clear exactly when he pulled out. We're told now that it was to do with Kate's cancer diagnosis. But I've also heard another narrative that he told the organizers of that service that two weeks earlier that he wasn't going, so it's a little unclear. But suddenly things went mad after that and obviously, I think, the overall strategy at Kensington Palace was very much driven by William and Kate. I think it was their desires to keep things under wrap. Their desires to keep private medical information private, but I just wondered whether in the current climate and in the world we live in where social media is so rampant whether there might be an argument for greater transparency and greater openness."

So which is it? Did William really pull out two weeks prior, and KP just let everyone think he was going to attend until the day of? Or did he really pull out the day of the service? Because if William really did pull out two weeks beforehand, then KP is looking really incompetent by not having a better excuse than "personal reasons." Do they know how to change the lightbulbs over there? How many KP staffers does it take to change a lightbulb?

The whole situation reeks of a whole lot of this:

[perfectpaperbluebirds]

I am formally here to request 💊📎 for Shmolly? ~KB

Thanks, KB!

Prompts: 

💊 coughs & colds

📎 working through the holidays

Fandom/OCs: Shane & Molly

Title: Let Your Heart Be Light

Words: 1445

Inspiration: Read an answered ask about more of Shane & Molly's backstories here

Author’s comments: Shane and Molly finally told me how they met! And why they haven't let me write a Christmas fic for them yet 😉 Because they met while working on Christmas Day! Here's the story:

Even on Christmas Day, the ER was busy, and that was just fine with RN Molly. That was why she had picked up this shift, after all, because she needed to be busy. Holidays had not gotten one bit easier in the ten years since her dad died, and rather than mope around home, she wanted to keep her mind occupied. For her, working the ER was the perfect way to spend the holidays. 

The wintry weather and holiday stress had apparently hit their city with a vengeance, because it seemed like all the patients they were seeing had coughs and colds on top of whatever else they had come in for. Molly was thankful for her mask and gloves even more than usual as people sniffled and coughed on or around her, but the risk of contagion here was the definition of an occupational hazard. 

Things were going smoothly overall, though. The competent senior residents running the ER today had things well in hand. She hadn't really gotten to know any of the residents well yet, having just started here a month or so ago, but she knew many of them on sight. Today's docs were bitchy brunette, skyscraper with glasses, and blond jock. Of course she made sure to refer to them as doctors Schmidt, Del Rosa, and Mitchell when talking to the patients. Whatever their names were, they had been trained well and were running a tight ship, and that was all that mattered in the ER. 

Time moved quickly, and before Molly knew it, ten of the twelve hours in her shift had passed. Around the ten hour mark she seized the opportunity to make a supply run, wanting to get a bit of a breather, and took a shortcut through the hospital's back hallways to the storage closets. As she walked past an inconspicuous door, she was startled to a stop at the sound of a series of wet sneezes coming from behind it. She backed up a few paces, her curiosity getting the better of her, and hesitantly knocked. 

"Umb… cumb ind?" came a croaking voice from within. 

Molly pulled the door open to reveal “blond jock” doctor, red-faced and watery-eyed, holding a tissue to his nose. He gave her an awkward wave. 

"Oh, Doctor Mitchell! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to… barge in, I guess. I just wanted to make sure you weren't a rogue patient or something."

"Ndo, ndo, you had every right to chegck. Idt's pretty stupid to be hidi'g ind a closet sndeezi'g. Seemed like the best place adt the time, though." 

With a final gurgling nose blow, he shoved the tissue in his pocket and stepped out, applying hand sanitizer immediately from the nearby station, giving her a sheepish smile. "Sorry you had to see thadt ndastiness."

She couldn't help but laugh a little. "It's okay. I have a hunch it was more unpleasant for you." 

"Just mbaybe." He laughed too, then sighed, which turned into a pitiful cough. "Ugh. Sorry again. I can't waidt for this shift to be over. Usually I love the ER, budt nodt today."

"I can see why. Looks like the doctor has become the patient." 

He groaned good-naturedly. "I guess you can only gedt sndeezed on so mbany times before idt's you doi'g the sndeezi'g. Idt's so embarrassi'g. Everyone is either grossed oudt or teasi'g mbe." 

"Well hopefully you can go home and rest for a few days when you’re done here," she said, taking a few steps in the direction she was originally heading before he had sidetracked her. Dr. Mitchell was cute, but it was weird to be making small talk with the doctor in the hallway when they both had patients to see.

"Yeah, I wish I could. Thadt would be ndice." A miserable look crossed his face, and for a second he looked so boyish and forlorn that Molly's heart went out to him. 

"Can I… at least get you a coffee or something, doctor? I know how much it sucks being sick at work."

"I would actually really appreciate thadt. Kinda starti'g to feel like I've been hidt by a trugck, and I've still godt two hours to go," he croaked.

"Hey, I'm off at 8 as well." She didn't know why she said that, and wanted to clap a hand over her mouth immediately. She wasn't in the habit of letting strangers know her work schedule, even if they were physicians. She was apparently way too comfortable with Dr. Mitchell already. She quickly spoke again, not giving him the chance to respond. "I guess I didn't know residents had similar schedules to nurses. But anyway, let me finish what I was doing, then I'll go get you that coffee. I'll meet you at the nurses' station with it." 

"Yeah, I suppose a rendezvous here at the closet would be a little weird," the sick doctor agreed, his eyes twinkling in merriment.

Molly snorted out a laugh at the unexpected joke. So he was cute and funny, then. "Yes, exactly," she said. "Like I said, I'll be back as soon as I can." She turned and began to stride down the hallway at last. 

"Thangk you so mbuch, Molly," she heard him say behind her. She almost turned at the sound of her name. She didn't expect him to know her name, since she knew full well her badge was hidden under the fleece jacket she was wearing. Residents never remember nurses' names, especially not float nurses.

Molly finished her errand at last, checked to ensure all was well on the floor, then clocked out for her overdue break, getting in line at the coffee stand immediately. Thankfully the wait was short, and in no time she had two coffees in hand and was scurrying back to the nurses' station. 

Dr. Mitchell was not there waiting for her, and it took some doing to track him down as he had apparently jumped back into the flow of work. However, she at last caught his eye as he was hurrying past and beckoned him over. He took the proffered cup with earnest gratitude, taking a long pull immediately. His eyes lit up as he tasted it. 

"Carambel mbocha?" he said. "How did you know I love that flavor?"

"You look like a caramel mocha guy, what can I say?" she laughed. "I worked as a barista for years. I know how to pair a customer with the right coffee."

"Incredible," he shook his head. "We jusdt mbet and you're already readi'g mbe like a boogk. What do I owe you for the coffee?"

"Some people are easier to read than others," she laughed again. "And the coffee is on me. Just pay it forward and do something kind for another nurse when you're feeling better."

"Deal," he said with a tired smile, swiping under his nose with a tissue, then taking another drink.

Molly eyed him in her periphery as she sipped her own drink. She guessed they were very close to the same age, though he looked older tonight with his tired eyes and messy hair. He had the physique of a long-time athlete and the brain and (someday) wallet of a doctor, with kindness and humor as an added bonus. A desirable catch by any standard. She wondered what his girlfriend or wife was like. 

They sipped in companionable silence for a bit longer. When he had downed about half his coffee, he turned to catch her eye. "I should get bagck to idt. Thangk you again, Molly. I really ndeeded this. Hopefully I can return the favor someday."

"I appreciate the sentiment, but I'm not holding my breath. This isn't my usual department, you know that. You probably won't even see me again before your program ends."

He quirked an eyebrow, smirking. "I guess we'll jusdt have to see. Budt either way, have a good resdt of your shifdt if I don't see you again tonight."

"Same to you, doctor."

"Idt's Shane, please. Since you're apparently a coffee mbind-reader, you should at least call mbe somethi'g besides doctor," he said, stifling a cough, but still smiling. 

She smiled too. "Same to you then, Shane. I hope your cold gets better soon."

"Thangk you. I hope so too." With that he walked away, and Molly couldn't help but watch him go. What a strange night this had been. Did flirting with hot doctors count as Christmas miracles? In someone's world probably. Certainly not in hers. It did break up the dull routine, though.

Her break was nearly over, so she downed the rest of her coffee and made her way to the time clock, humming along with the music overhead as it played "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas."

[mcfanely]

I've had this post sitting in my drafts from around the middle of December, since it had gotten to the point where I'd basically done no substantial art for a good few weeks; and now staring at this post again at the end of December with an unfinished commission on my iPad that I'd hoped I'd have done by the end of November - I thought it would be a good idea to logically think about how to deal with things in the near future, and subsequently make a decision which is painful but also the right one for me right now.

Things aren't really going well currently, alongside a few medical issues in the family, and work and not sleeping well being the sorta base problems I've been dealing with for a few months, I've not exactly been feeling much of anything recently and it's just getting worse. Anxiety and depression is a general thing that I've lived with for years, but right now it's just kicking my ass in a way I haven't experienced before and I'm floundering so much, I'm just floating through days and barely remembering them, and I'm aware I'm disassociating a lot of the time and I feel like I'm drowning-

So I need to step back from art, to take at least one thing off my plate so I'm not extremely stressed over something I thoroughly enjoy.

FYI There are event prizes that I will 100% honour, those aren't going to be put aside. And the two commissions I have going right now will be continued till completion.

Yet as for general commissions and my own art overall, there's no motivation there. I hope to hell there will be a love for it soon (and dammit I'm sure there will be) but right now I'm not exactly enjoying much at all, art is just a thing that I usually love so much - it's what I use to relax, I used to do it for hours in a day and love every second and now, I think I've done maybe two hours of it over the past month overall?

Know that I am so, so damn sorry, god I just hoped that I'd be better by this time but I've never felt worse - I'm so sorry that I'm having to step back from commissions that people would have been excited for, I'm sorry that you've trusted me with your lovely ideas and I'm just not able to provide them anymore

If you do have a commission slot with me, and are willing to wait until I eventually decide to open my commissions again, then do message me and I'll put you on a list for the first slots I have available when I reopen them

This will definitely not be forever, I promise it won't because I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have art in my life. But consistently telling people that I'm unable to honour their commission slot as a new month rolls around is in no way fair, not when there are many artists that have their commissions open and can provide a service that I'm currently unable to give

I'm going to spend an hour or so getting in touch with those who have commissions with me and giving some big apologies, but this is just an umbrella post to keep people looped in as to why I'm probably not going to be active much with posting art or the like, I'll be back, I will, but I need time away from things and I'm very sorry

This was very long winded, whether you read it or not, thank you so much for just enjoying what I do! It always means the world to see the support I have for my art and I'm sorry I have to let you down like this

I'll still be here, active over socials, just a lot quieter, and hopefully getting better

I hope you all understand 💙 love you all, and again, I'm extremely sorry for this situation 💙💙

[chibiexorcist]

I want to cry. I really, really just want to cry.

I've gone almost 6 months without a job, because nobody is hiring without experience, or won't hire unless you can work past midnight (which I can't). And the only thing I've done- the only thing I've been allowed to do- is stay in the fucking kitchen.

I don't have work references either, which are preferred. Because I'm quiet and bad at making friends, so I never got anyone's contact info, let alone permission to use them as a reference.

I have 10 years of experience... at fucking McDonald's (9.5 years) and Panera Bread (half a year, before they fired me for being sick at the wrong time). Not like it matters.

My time on unemployment has almost run out, even though I didn't even start actually getting the payment until two months after I signed up. I won't be able to afford to pay rent or bills.

I can't sign up for even partial disability because even though I'd otherwise qualify, I'm 31 years old and not physically incapable of work, and therefore it's not even worth trying (info gained after looking it up on google).

I have only gotten three interviews, and none of them wanted me, even though it felt like it went well.

I feel absolutely worthless. To top it all off, because they've been screwing with my medications that used to work just fine, because mom brought up that my mood swings and depression were getting worse (while I was under a shitton of stress), my mental state is actually getting worse, not better.

I also suspect I may be autistic and/or have adhd- have suspected it for years actually. But I can only get diagnosed at one place around here, only recently had the opportunity to find and call them, and they're so backed up that it was going to take "2-3 weeks" (a month ago) for them to get back to me just to meet with someone and tell them in person why I think I might be (which they already asked on the phone anyway, in detail). Then it'll be a few weeks from that before I can get tested, if they deem it a possibility. And months after that for the results. So I won't actually know until probably the end of the year.

...anyway, that's not entirely related to anything but the mental health bit. Can't talk to a therapist either because the only local one I know of that takes my insurance and isn't super expensive is also a shitty place (from both my and others' experiences). But yeah. Overall?

I just....

Like, is life even worth it at this point?

I cannot afford to live, because I cannot fit into society like a normal person, and everyone has simultaneously high and low expectations of me, and I just..! I hate it. I hate it all. So much.

I can't even tell my friends, either, because I know that everyone else has it worse, so I'd feel bad just for, well, feeling bad. I have nowhere to turn right now, and I just... I want it to stop. I want everything to stop.

[clinicallyinvisible]

I decided that if L hasn't made any moves by November I am going to tell him how I feel.

I assessed the risk. If he moves to Alaska, I lose him and the kennel anyway and I will always wonder what things could have been like if we had ever gotten together. So if we get together now, even if it's temporary, and even if it goes bad, *shrug*. Either way I will lose him and the kennel eventually.

OR turns out he never goes to Alaska and we fall in love and things are good. The chances of that happening aren't zero. So why not just take the risk anyway? Life is about taking risks and finding out one way or another if they pay off. And sometimes they don't, and that's okay. I have too many feelings for him, I can't keep it to myself forever.

I am STILL going back and forth on if he likes me or not. He didn't seem too excited in the moment when I gave him the photo album, but maybe he was just nervous. He read my note after he left my place and messaged me after to say he loved it with a heart, but also an "lol" after. I assume to keep it more neutral lmao. And then before I left J he did ask me every time we talked if I had had that conversation with him yet. Every time. So like there are a lot of signs that he does like me, but then there are things that leave me so unsure as well.

My one best friend that I tell all this stuff to feels pretty sure that he does like me back and is holding me to my timeline of November lol

Idk, it just seems silly to NOT say something eventually. I will see how the next few months go and give myself some time to be single for a little bit, since I have hardly been single since I was 16. I've spent nearly half my life in relationships and it's nice to be alone right now. Though, I have been feeling lonely. I do miss the companionship. I have been yearning for some romance for some time, though. I didn't really get any from J for a really long time. I keep watching media that makes me feel worse, too. Not on purpose. I tried watching Malcolm in the Middle because it's a silly goofy show, but Hal and Lois are so sweet together and have such a cute relationship. I had to stop a few episodes in and switch to Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which is better.

But yeah, I am a little scared he fully outright rejects me and it makes the entire mushing season really awkward, but I feel like that's a pretty small chance. I get overall good vibes. But also if he does reject me outright I think I have a pretty good ability to move past it and just forget about it. Like I can get over it. It'll suck for a bit, but I'm an adult. I can get over it.

[lifewithjane]

Month Two

Our second month together consisted a whole heap more of fun dates together. We were at a point where we shared music between each other, songs that made each other think of the other. It also included talking about and introducing each other to each other's friends.

Month two started with both of us being away for the weekends, where I was in York and she went to Cotswolds. She was outrageously hit on by some 75 year old airbnb owner - have I gotten over my previous jealousy issues I've faced in the past? Probably not as this really wasn't a good test for that. I mean, the guy was 70 years old and it was all very friendly and jokey.

We went on an interesting Life Drawing date together in Brixton. I didn't know how to feel about it all, both witnessing a naked body together and attempting to draw them. I could imagine in previous years when I was much more insecure about these things, there wouldn't have been a chance in the world, but now, maybe I've grown? The overall day went well and I got to witness she's got some creative talent, unlike me. Idk if I'm willing to embarrass myself again going to a life drawing class like that, but was a pretty cool experience either way. One thing that did play on my mind was how she mentioned a few times about wanting to be the model in a life drawing class and how it made her feel free. I understand its not my choice and I can't really do much in the position I'm in, but why does it make me feel so insecure and uncomfortable. I think it's this possessive nature I have/had, where the idea of seeing someone I love naked like that, just puts me off so much and makes me sad. Anyways, short term solution for now is not bringing it up again and an issue to deal with if she brings it up again and wants to action anything.

Our next fun date involved going to the cricket together. Although the actual day was filled with terrible weather and just watching rain, we had an interesting debate and I got to witness Jane's incredible debating skills first hand. We chatted about whether cricket was a real sport or an activity. Although the topic of cricket should have favoured me, can't say I confidently won that argument. But I was also impressed with how much cricket she actually knew, so surprisingly.. I mean which girl knows anything about cricket?

Other highlights involved going to a live TV Audience with her which was pretty cool. She seemed pretty engaged and excited about the whole thing which is always positive. Between all these activities were a whole heap of cuddles and sex, which was getting better every day.

This one night, Jane managed to ride me for almost an hour. Yes a fkn hour, idk how. But she just kept going and going, although I didn't come, it was probably the closest I've ever been. The sex was getting more and more affectionate and we could both feel our emotions getting so much stronger. Things were escalating very fast and although we both hinted at how we felt a certain three words, we were too scared to say anything.

There were a few upcoming milestones in the horizon but I was yet to really work out what the order would be. With all the pressure coming from friends to meet them, that was definitely first to be ticked off. I was in Lisbon with JuWay and all he'd talk about was meeting her and he was having a house party at his on friday 18th August.

When the day came around, we both got dinner together. She didn't seem too nervous at all. She was wearing this bright blue dress looking absolutely stunning. There was one minor thing that was bugging me and i didn't want it to lead to our first fight. She had about three of her top buttons down and it bothered me knowing she was about to see my friends. Lot of my friends in London were more on the conservative side and I knew they'd definitely overthink / judge her and it bothered me way too much than it should have. Guess it's that same insecurity as last month playing up again?

Fortunately even though I articulated so poorly, she was so understanding and straight away did up a button. I don't want to be controlling or cause any arguments, but honestly Jane being so understanding about where I'm coming from is just another reason why I'm so obsessed with her. This alongside with all my friends loving her that night.

I saw JuWay the next day and he said she was so great and just surprised she's with me. And tbh even I'm surprised. Meg T even went out of her way to msg me and tell me how much she liked her.

And then she met Shannon the next sunday morning at the Women's world cup soccer final between England and Spain. And they managed to get along so well.

It's so easy to get sick of shannon when he brags every sentence but I got to witness how good of a conversationalist Jane really was. She would constantly ask questions and Shannon just ended up talking about himself the whole time and not realising.

We both thene went to St Burgess park after and discussed future plans. She invited me to their france trip in 2024 for olympics which was so lovely and made me feel really happy. I guess just committing to something so far in the future show me she really believed in us. We then confirmed our upcoming trip will be to Stockholme after some quick research.

I made a trip home and came back to hers for some cuddles and booked some stuff for Sweden. We locked in the accomm and flights for 8-10 Sept. Exciting times ahead.

It was getting close to our official two months and I felt ready to tick off the last two milestones for the month.

I had booked peckham rooftop film club with bottomless popcorn where we watched Dirty Dancing. The movie started at 6pm and it was an absolute classic, surprised I had never seen it. It ended about 8pm and it was beautiful sunset and i knew the peckham levels bar was nearby. I was ready to take her there and tell her how I felt.

So we made a trip there and walked towards the view of the London city in the sunset. There I said it - it involved a classic 2 min speech about how I thought she was so amazing and the ended with me saying I loved her. And she said the same words back to me. Although she had made it obvious she had felt the same way, just hearing it in person just feels so much more special. From then on, we were constantly saying it whenever we were together. Although the next two weeks, due to me being stuck in Budapest and making a few other trips, meant we had to pretty much do long distance.

The plan was to go to Primrose Hill on Tuesday 29th July (exactly 2 months since we met) and ask her out and make it official bf/gf. But unfortunately my flight from Budapest got cancelled, leaving the next time i could see her was Sept 3rd.

It had been a fast moving but incredible 2 months. Don't know how long it's been since I felt this happy about someone.

[curly-cottage-girl]

so I think I might be angry but I really don’t know why

[hokiis-writing-dump]

Little Fire Plume Pt.6 (Last part!)

At last, this comes to an end. After many delays due to my ability to have a work-life balance is horrible. Hope you guys enjoy this final chapter :)

Diluc x Child!Reader (PLATONIC!), Reader has Pyro Vision, some angst(lies its more than some), fighting, blood warning, and some swearing

After leaving the cave along Albedo’s side, you come to in a small bed. Toys shaped like abyss mages are littered around the room, as well as and actual abyss mage

Now you’re a kid

A not very smart kid considering you almost died once following a seelie

So, you go over to the abyss mage and ask to play, because your little kid mind is focused on playing with the seemingly cute fluffy thing and not on where you might be.

When you tap it, it nearly jumps into the wall. Def regretting offering to watch over you now

It entertains you for a while, until an Abyss Herald walks in, and you drop your toy, hiding behind the abyss mage.

Like bro this thing is 3x your height what is that

The Abyss Herald tries its best to be careful with you and is really trying not to scare you but it’s stupidly hard since it’s so massive.

Eventually it lures you out with toys and brings you to Albedo, in which you are elated to see a familiar face.

He calms you down when you ask a thousand questions on what’s happening and where you guys are, to which he answers you question of where you guys are with “We are home.”

Home??

You’re still super confused bc you thought Mondstadt was home but okay i guess

The entire place looks like it’s ruins that are somewhat maintained, various abyss creatures lurking about and heading places.

Albedo and the Abyss Herald take you to a lab that has another smaller bedroom connected to it, and you learn that this is where Albedo and you will be staying from now on!

The glowing crystals that are stuck to the walls and ceiling catch your eyes as you stare at them, and you attempt to read the weird language written on some of the walls. Overall, it looks basically the same as the Dragonspine lab, just a few minor differences but not enough to make too much of a difference.

You go to the room connected to the lab and see the number of children’s toys in the various toy chests in the room, and you feel your little child heart explode as you start to pull out all the toys.

The time you spent there included a lot of playing and training with your vision and natural abilities as a homunculus, which led to you being able to summon animals varying in size and type to come to your aid, as well as being able to set traps made of pyro.

After a few hours of just playing after training and forgetting everything else prior, like the blonde woman, you hear a knock and a familiar voice. “Now, now, it seems like someone’s having a lot of fun without their uncle, hm?” You turn around to see Kaeya leaning against the doorframe and you immediately run up to hug him.

“Look at how big you’ve gotten over the past few months! Someone’s certainly growing fast.” He jokes, lifting you up into the air while you giggle. Though, you are confused. “Why are you here too, Uncle Kaeya? Did you see the blonde lady too?” Kaeya’s face seems to darken slightly, and he looks a bit upset.

“Uncle’s...always been a part of this place. Just so happens that I came here after arguing with your dad over...things.”

“You argued with Albedo?”

He seems a bit shocked by your words, you think of Albedo as your father now? Well, it’s better than still being attached to someone who left you, he knows that feeling all too well.

“Ah...never mind it. Let’s play for a while, alright?”

“YAY!”

Now with Diluc, and this is about a few weeks after you get to the ruins

Dear GOD, the guilt is eating him up inside

Like he’s thinking about you 25/8 and he feels so bad about leaving you, but when he’s upset, he always has the need to isolate himself from the problem. Which in this case was you lol-

After arguing with Kaeya about leaving you like that, he’s re-thinking everything he did. So, he goes back to Dragonspine in hopes of finding Albedo

And boy 

He got a surprise when he learned that Sucrose was in charge now after Albedo’s, and your, disappearance.

When she tells him that she’s the Acting Chief Alchemist, he’s now worried about where you are since he left you in Albedo’s care.

“Master Diluc...(Y/N) is missing as well...and Jean has also reported that after your argument with Captain Kaeya a few days ago, all traces of him have gone missing as well...” Sucrose reluctantly chirps out.

Diluc’s heart DROPS.

Oh shit

Oh fuck

His friend is missing

His brother is missing

His KID is missing

He turns his ass right back around and runs to search for you 3

Like he’s tearing through anything in his way to find you

And when he’s struggling to get any leads, he goes to someone who seems to know a bit too much about the Abyss

He goes to find Dainsleif for leads, and explains what Albedo told him months ago about possibly having to leave, and you being a homunculus.

Dainsleif goes to find the traveler for help, which Aether immediately comes to their aid when he hears the Abyss is involved, which means his sister might be connected to this.

Diluc goes to get help from Jean and Amber, really anyone who can help

They all go to another cave Dainsleif had been looking into and are greeted with resistance from the Abyss.

Diluc is absolutely RAGING. He wants his kid and brother, and he wants it NOW.

Aether is using the 3 elements he has collected as of now to tear through the Abyss’s forces.

Jean is doing her best to heal the others from any injuries while fighting, and Lisa is close behind guarding her blind spots.

Amber is taking a shot at any moving enemy and is throwing baron bunnies left and right.

Even knights of Favonius have come to save you 3 from what they think is peril

The area you’re in is on full alert, gathering any homunculi and protecting them all in one area. Albedo grabs you and runs to the area being guarded. Kaeya is close behind helping you stand back up whenever you trip and fall.

You’re panicking and crying as you run, scared since no one’s explaining what’s happening. Your knees are bleeding with how many times your fallen onto the rocky ruins flooring, and your hands are scratched from hitting the floor. You look to see another small family of homunculi with a child that’s crying, and the mother is wounded from what might’ve been a falling rock. The father is armed with a claymore and seems to be a guard.

“Papa!” You call out to Albedo, “What’s happening! Why are we running?!” You scream through tears from fear and pain. He looks back for a second, but doesn’t answer.

The tunnel shakes from fighting happening where Diluc and the others are, as it seems the fighting is destroying some of the cave systems. Albedo stumbled as multiple people fall into him, and the floor gives out beneath you. Kaeya and Albedo both reach down to grab you, but you’ve already gone too far down, you hear them scream for you as you fall into the darkness below.

When you hit the bottom, you know you fell unconscious for a while, the ache in your head says it all. Not to mention the blood that’s seeping from it and pooled under you.

You get up despite the pain in your body screaming for you not to and wander the darker caves. You can still hear fighting; you can hear the rapid running and screams of people above. 

You limp and lean against the wall, still crying somewhat as you feel your vision fading, even if you can’t see much in the darkness anyways.

You grab the pyro vision that has been attached to your hairpin made of falcon feathers and hold it to your chest, trying to summon anything.

You hear the crackle of fire as a small fox made of fire brushes against your legs, and it reminds you of the one in Dragonspine. It chirps at you, even though it sounds more like distorted fire crackles, trying to light a way for you.

You follow it through the cave, and occasionally stop to catch your breath at a rock to sit on.

“...I want Papa Albedo back...I wanna go home...I don’t wanna be scared anymore.” You sit and cry for a while, the fox curling around you.

After sitting and crying for a good few minutes, you hear loud footsteps coming closer and closer. You get up in case you have to run, but then are greeted with an Abyss Lector. It offers a hand to you, which you take quickly to have some sort of an anchor for support while you cry. It carries you off to the other areas of the ruins, and the fighting gets louder.

You hear an Abyss Herald shouting orders to Abyss Mages and Hilichurls, and you also can hear voices such as Diluc and the others. Part of you is excited to see him, but it quickly dies out when you remember how he left you, and now you want nothing to do with him.

When the Abyss Lector entered the room with you in its arms and Diluc caught sight of you, he began to see red once he saw your injuries. “(Y/N)! LET GO OF MY CHILD!” Diluc ignored the other enemies and chased after the Abyss Lector that had you, which Jean quickly scolded him for and chased after Diluc with Aether close behind.

You could hear Diluc screaming at the Abyss Lector, you could hear his calling out to you, but you chose to ignore it. You were still angry at him, and you had every right to be. You felt anger at Diluc build up in you, and you could feel the air around you become hotter. The Abyss Lector took note of this and saw the chance to use it.

It turned and attacked Diluc, Jean and Aether, using the pyro energy you were emitting to combine it with its own electro abilities to create an explosion. 

Right before it struck, a shield of ice blocked it, and Eula was beside them. “I can’t have you lot getting injured now, can I? Let’s get (Y/N) and then get out of here. Albedo and Kaeya have already been located.” Jean and Aether nodded, and Diluc was already prepared to fight. 

The Abyss Lector looked down towards you, and you glanced up at it. “Child...lend me your strength...” You looked back to Diluc, who looked somewhat sad, and when you returned his sad face with and angry glare and nodded to the Abyss Lector, it only got worse.

You summoned a larger fox made of flames to assist the Abyss Lector, and combined with the Abyss Lector’s powers, it led to many explosions in the area. Diluc kept asking for you to stop, trying to reason with you, but you’d only scream back in anger.

“(Y/N), please! Just comeback with us!”

“NO!” You screamed with tears in your eyes. “YOU LEFT ME! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING! YOU LEFT ME ALONE AND YOU DIDN’T COME BACK FOR ME!” You kept commanding the fox to attack, and it already left some burns on Jean since it was too large to easily dodge. Diluc’s heart ached at your words, but he understood your anger.

“..I did leave, and I’m sorry! It won’t happen again, I promise you, (Y/N).” You really want to believe him. You really do, but anger blinds you as you keep attacking even when the Abyss Lector is weakening.

When the Abyss Lector finally went down, Jean, Eula and Aether kept the fox busy while Diluc approached you. You were crying and flailing your arms and legs. You were tired. Beyond tired, your injuries were slowing you down too.

Diluc lifted you while you tried pushing him away, hitting his shoulders to make him drop you. He didn’t let go, he held you and kept apologizing for leaving, even if he knew it wasn’t enough, it was something.

You stopped hitting him, and just laid in his arms while he tried rocking you to sleep. It calmed you enough to let Jean heal your wounds, and you sniffed here and there while Diluc carried you out the caves.

When you FINALLY got back to the manor, boy were you tired and on your last leg before sleeping.

Like if you stood up you would’ve just fallen back down and slept on the floor

Diluc was clinging to you and kept apologizing, even after you forgive him kinda

You still feel a little distrustful, scared he might just leave again, but you both are making a start to being close again.

When night falls and he tucks you into bed, you remember a question you haven’t asked him in a while

“…Diluc..?”

“Yes, (Y/N)?”

“How did you find me..?”

He stops, a bit hesitant. Then, he comes over and sits next to you.

“…You we’re surrounded by dead Abyss Mages and a nearly dead woman. She was being crushed by rocks from a cave in. She must’ve known her time was up. She said she was a researcher, called herself Platinum. She asked if I could take you and raise you in her stead, and if possible, take you to her sister, Gold. I’m not sure who is Gold woman is, but I don’t think I can handle being away from you again.”

“Oh…okay. Thanks for telling me, dad…”

He stopped, and smiled. “Of course, (Y/N).”

FINALLY we come to the end of this, it’s been so much fun writing this, and I hope to make another enjoyable series soon. Until then, have great days everyone!

[prettywordsyouleft]

Conveniently Yours - Part 5

Summary: You knew better than to enter a marriage of convenience with your boss’ grandson. But you wanted that senior partnership, and it wasn’t as if Jaebum was a stranger - you knew him rather intimately. It was only a year together, and then you could divorce him and achieve your biggest career goal. But would it be as simple as that?

Pairing: Im Jaebum x female reader

Genre: romance / marriage of convenience

Warnings for overall story: suggestive, swearing, mentioning of body parts and sex, a miniscule amount of angst, inequality in the workplace, a disapproving mother-in-law. In this part: angst, mentioning of failed marriages due to infertility, fake pregnancy, alcohol

Prompt: “Your eyes are indecent.” – for the @challengingwords​ January monthly challenge

Author’s note: This story is a drabble/mini series. It covers over an entire year in just eight short parts. It’s not as in-depth as this world could have been done, but I hope you enjoy it all the same.

Word count: 1109

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Epilogue

Biting back a scowl, you nudged the man beside you. “Stop it.”

“Stop what?” he asked with feigned innocence, Jaebum’s smile brightening his face before he waggled his eyebrows. “I’m just helping my pregnant wife do some shopping.”

“I cannot believe she actually used it this time!” you exclaimed, uncaring that your voice had risen to the octave it had, and nearby shoppers turned to look at you. Giving your husband a measured glance, you then huffed indignantly. “I am not pregnant! What will she do at the next event when I’m there and not showing even the slightest of a baby bump?”

Jaebum’s grin was uncontained. “We could change that.”

“Don’t mock me. I couldn’t make it this time because of that crazy court case extending well into the evening. It’s not a bad thing to have a lawyer as a daughter. My parents proudly tell everyone. Why not tell the truth?”

“That you’re a badass lawyer who’s married more to her job than her husband? I doubt my mother would ever care to admit that out loud. She would see it as a stain on her reputation. You know what she’s like, Y/N.”

You stopped pushing the trolley, staring at Jaebum’s side profile. He noticed your halt a second later, turning back to watch you curiously. You frowned. “Am I that bad to be shackled to?”

“What?”

“You just said I’m more involved with my career than you. Is that how you see us?”

“No,” he said as he backtracked to your side. “I knew you were career-driven when we agreed to all this. It’s why you married me, after all.”

That didn’t ease you at all. Blinking several times, you looked at the trolley and shoved it along with a little more force than needed. You felt wrong, and you didn’t like it. The past ten months hadn’t felt like this. Sure, you bickered a lot in the first few months, but you were accustomed to Jaebum’s ways now. He was more than just your living companion. You spent more time with him than anyone else in your life. You had believed that mattered.

To him. To you.

And it did. You stopped again in the aisle, blinking more slowly. Somewhere, you had become attached to Jaebum. That was why the growing unease in the pit of your stomach hurt as much as it did. You were disappointed, though you couldn’t tell with who more. Yourself, for losing sight of what this scheme was, or with him, for thinking so little of you.

“Y/N,” Jaebum called, a warm hand cupping your jaw suddenly. You flinched out of your thoughts, spotting the hurt within his eyes at your physical reaction. You didn’t like that either. You were both entangled with the other, and now, after all these months and so close to the finish line of the year together, it had gotten messy. You hated how ugly this all was feeling.

“I just think she shouldn’t have used that. I’m not pregnant. And although a baby has never existed inside me, I don’t think it’s something to lie about. Do you know what some of the most heartbreaking moments of my job have been? Over infertility. I’ve had clients sob in my office about their significant partner wanting a divorce over the taxing nature of not having children. Some are crueller. Some of these men leave their partners because of no birthed offspring within a couple of years of marriage. Love is such a fickle creature, huh?”

You sniffled, closing your eyes when you realised how worked up you were over this. You didn’t want to admit you were in similar shoes to your clients. You didn’t need love in this relationship. Especially so close to the expiration date. You needed to get your head clear and back in the game.

But when you opened your eyes again, Jaebum was staring at you sadly. It confused you, and you merely stared back at him, unsure if you wanted to know what was turning over in his thoughts right now.

“I’ve enabled her to upset you. I’ll fix this.”

You shook your head. “We’ll just lose the imaginary baby. I’m sure the sympathy she’ll reap will make it better.”

Jaebum’s eyes grew hard. “No. You’re right. The truth is better.”

“The truth,” you agreed weakly, forcing a smile before returning to your shopping.

You didn’t know what the truth was anymore.

“Your eyes are indecent.” Looking sharply at Tessa, you then turned to see who she was talking to. Jaebum merely smirked. “If my husband looked at me that hungrily after a year of marriage, I’d be thrilled. I think Mark only gets that excited when I bake him cookies.”

“I do not. I look at you lovingly all the time.”

“My eyes are indecent?” Jaebum wondered, stepping to your side and shooting you a questioning look. “Baby, what’s wrong with my eyes?”

“Ignore Tessa. She’s just stirring where it’s not needed,” you remarked, chastising your friend with a warning look. “Besides, it’s not been a year quite yet.”

“Counting down the days to your first anniversary?” Mark wondered, and Jaebum picked up his drink off the bar table, taking a sip before gazing back at you.

“Every second, more like.”

Tessa laughed. “How you haven’t combusted over this past year with him, I’m equal parts amazed and impressed, Y/N.”

“You are very smooth, Jaebum, but I highly doubt I’m on your mind every second of the day. And can we please get back to the real reason we’re out celebrating tonight? It’s about you two! Securing your first home together is seriously a big deal. I’m so happy for you both.”

“Thanks, Y/N,” Mark said as he clinked his beer bottle against the side of your wine glass. “It’s been a long time coming, but after five years of marriage, we can finally say city living will no longer bother us. Suburban life, here we come.”

“Next will be two kids and a dog?” Jaebum offered, and Mark grinned.

“We’ve got the dog already,” Tessa reminded, slipping a hand over Mark’s waist, and cinching it in her grip, staring up at her husband adoringly.

You felt a sharp pull in your chest at that look. Whilst Jaebum was the master of bedroom eyes, this was how you wanted to stare at someone and be on the reciprocating end of too. Clutching the glass in your hand at the realisation, you downed what remained in one go, signalling to a bartender for a refill.

You only had mere weeks left until this intoxicating confusion would reach its culmination.

_________________

Part 6

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