#but actually i watched a few episodes earlier and they were fun. i liked them.

[maddy-ferguson]

i'm only 21 isn't that way too young to be watching season 19 of grey's anatomy

[guinevereslancelot]

i've said it before but shoutout to the teen wolf fandom for continuing to produce banger gifsets regularly as if the show never ended you guys are so talented and beautiful and iconic for that <3

[pagannatural]

2.17 Heart

- this episode can’t really be called underrated but it makes me insane in a special and specific way that needs airing

-Dean is cleaning their guns and geeking out about how cool werewolves are, how they haven’t seen one since they were kids, and how good it is to know how to handle the situation, and Sam is teasing him. This callback to their shared childhood is important.

-Dean asks Sam their next step the way a teacher asks their student because Sam is still learning hunting from Dean. Sam answers correctly, looking like he’s trying not to smile and looks down and then up at Dean. He looks like he’s flirting. He loves seeing Dean happy.

- Madison tells the brothers that the victim was the kind of guy to hit on everyone in a five mile radius after a few scotches, you know the type, and Sam at first smiles knowingly. But then he looks over at Dean, who’s smiling his fuck-me smile at Madison, and his face falls. “Yeah, I do, actually,” he says.

Dean’s interest in Madison (and other women in general) really bothers him in this moment.

- Dean tells Madison someone needs to stay with her in case the werewolf shows up. The moment she leaves the room Sam tells Dean “you go, I’ll stay” with this expression that seems very serious, not like he’s just wanting to be the one who spends time with the pretty woman.

They decide to settle this the old fashioned way which is rock-paper-scissors (ro-sham-bo). Another callback to their childhood. Sam wins because Dean always chooses scissors which is honestly fascinating to me— I would have guessed Dean would pick rock because it’s the solid strong masculine option and because Sam would choose paper, but of course Dean chooses the tool, the blades. Sam grasps Dean’s arm after and his hand lingers. Again, he does not seem to have done this out of any interest in Madison, it seems like he just doesn’t want to witness Dean with her.

-This is not the face of a man who likes this woman

It reminds me of how he acted around Sarah In Provenance. He has to perform liking her for Dean, but he never shows any signs of genuine interest. Madison even dumps a basket of delicates onto the table in front of him to fold and he scrunches up his face and moves to the couch.

- Sam observes that Madison is smart and independent and asks her why she was with a stalker, and she answers that it’s not like he introduced himself like Hi I’m possessive and controlling and I like to punch people. She also says he’s wanted by the police, and that she was too insecure to leave until she realized she could take control of her life.

Madison and Sam are set up as direct parallels. She ends up being a monster without even knowing and without intending any harm, which is what Sam fears. Also, the way she’s describing her ex-boyfriend sounds a lot like Dean: possessive, controlling, likes punching people, wanted by the police. I think Dean has a lot of very redeemable qualities and for the most part he treats Sam very kindly, but he is all those things. It’s also how Sam would describe John, who he got away from by taking control of his life. The difference is that Sam actually wants to be with Dean.

- Dean kills the first werewolf in this episode. The werewolf is dying in the street and Dean stands over him and watches him turn back into a scared and confused man right before he dies. Dean obviously doesn’t enjoy seeing a man lose his life, and it complicates his earlier excitement over hunting a werewolf. The grown-up version of this hunt isn’t fun any more.

- Dean can see how Sam cares about Madison because he relates to her, and the way he watches Sam is so tender and protective. When Madison hugs Sam, Dean watches them with such bittersweet understanding

and then excuses himself very obviously so that Sam and Madison can fuck. Which they do. Which is just wild.

Because Sam decides to have sex with the first woman since Jessica because 1) Dean tells him to and 2) he sees this woman as the version of himself that gets to live without becoming a monster

- when Sam knocks frantically on his door, Dean opens up, knowing right away something is wrong and reassuring Sam that they’ll find her. The way that Sam runs straight to Dean’s door when he’s scared and needs help and Dean is right there without another thought is very romantic tropey.

-Sam yells at Dean because Dean’s willing to kill Madison without question but unwilling to kill Sam no matter what he does including murder. Dean looks a little jostled to be confronted by this, but I think to him it’s just so clear that Sam is a special and specific category from the rest of humanity and creation that he doesn’t see or doesn’t care about the hypocrisy. Sam is the center of his universe and his entire system of values. Everyone on earth or in hell is either Sam or Not Sam. It’s funny because Sam is like this about Dean too, but he just accepts it.

-Dean explains the situation to Madison calmly and honestly. It’s the decent thing to do, and also the difficult thing. He’s not cold or numb to the work, but he is able to handle it and keep his head as long as it’s not about Sam.

-Madison asks Sam to be the one to kill her and Dean watches Sam struggle. He’s been watching Sam carefully and protectively this entire episode.

-She uses language so similar to the language Sam uses to beg Dean to kill him—asking for help, saying she wants it to be him who does it, “I’m asking you to save me.” She tries to hand Sam the gun.

Dean gets up at this point and stands behind Madison, his eyes on Sam as he moves, and slowly takes the gun out of her hands. This shifts the focus off Madison and solely onto the brothers for the remainder of the episode.

His eyes stay on Sam’s as he does this, and Sam is somehow looking up at Dean pleadingly. His romantic interest is begging him for help with tears in her eyes in what will be the last moments of her life and Sam is staring at Dean behind her.

The sexual relationship between Sam and Madison is explicitly compared to Dean and Sam’s relationship. It wasn’t necessary for the werewolf character to be a woman who Sam sleeps with—the very first woman that he is with since Jessica. She’s the stand-in for Sam in this case, and Sam is put in Dean’s shoes.

The brothers go into the other room and Dean assures Sam he doesn’t have to do this, that he’ll handle it. He wants to take care of Sam and spare him this, just like he has since they were children, but he can’t this time. Sam feels he has to because she asked him, and asks Dean for the gun.

It’s a very intentional choice that Sam won’t do this for Madison until he has to ask Dean, and that in the end it’s a conversation between the brothers that forms the emotional tension and climax of the episode. Dean did what Sam needed him to do by being the one to give him the choice: let me protect you from this or do it yourself. Before, the choice was more about Madison. Now it’s about Sam and Dean’s relationship.

- Sam looks back at Dean before he walks away, like a frightened child who needs help because he really doesn’t want to do this, but he knows it’s the right thing to do as a hunter. In doing this, Sam has played out the two things from Madison that he wants from Dean, that Dean can never give him— Dean will never let their relationship become physical, and he will never kill Sam.

The camera stays on Dean’s face as the gun goes off and the episode ends. Dean can’t save Sam from this, he can’t protect him from one of the responsibilities that comes with their lives as hunters. He’s terrified that he won’t be able to save Sam at all. The days when he could take care of Sam and shield him are over, and they both have to leave that part of their childhood behind. It’s not that Dean can’t save Sam in the end, because at the end of all of this their love for each other is what saves the world. It’s that their innocence can’t survive what’s coming. They have to grow up and face the realities of their lives. Their incestuous love for each other is one of those realities, but they aren’t there yet.

[swiftllama]

February Compliments ☀️🔍

[Compliments Masterlist]

And we’re back! Not a lot of compliments for February but still a few so hope this will still be a fun read for you guys 😊

So let’s get into it!

February 2024

Is This Video Offensive?

So in this Flashback they reacted to the classic Molester Moon sketch 🌚 We only got one little compliment in this video but I thought I would still include it :-

-

They’re introducing the video dressed as moons and give each other a fist bump and saying how they’re ‘ordinary guys’.

Ian: “Anyway, um,” *turns to Anthony* “You look good.”

-

Another little moment I wanted to include which I just found silly :-

[talking about the pandora’s boxes that were opened with the creation of certain emojis]

Anthony: “The peach emoji…”

Ian: “Yeah, yeah, for real.”

Anthony: “The eggplant emoji.”

Ian: “Or do you think the creator was like, ‘let’s make it look a little bit like an ass’.”

Anthony: [laughs] “It’s a little bit like a huge, purple dong.”

Ian: “Dong.”

Anthony: “Yeah, I don’t know, honestly, it makes me wonder if they did know because it’s too perfectly ass-shaped. Right? I feel like it’s more ass-shaped than a peach. Peaches are not that perfectly ass-shaped.”

Ian: “I don’t know, bro.”

Anthony: “You seen some pretty good looking peaches?”

Ian: “I’ve seen some pretty tantalising peaches in my day.”

Anthony: [swallows] “Oh yeah? Do you want me to call you by my name?”

Ian: [in a low voice] “I could eat a peach for hours.”

👀 who doesn’t love Ian and Anthony flirting with each other 🤭🍑

What’s Wrong With This Soup? (Culinary Crimes)

So the boys went on Courtney’s new show and it did not disappoint with giving us some complimentary bestie moments :-

-

Courtney: “So the theme of this episode is foods that are vegan, gluten free, with some other twists as well.”

Ian: “So a lot of nuts, I presume.”

Anthony: “Besties with testes.”

Ian: “We are besties with testes, so.”

Silly but still quite cute, can never resist them calling each other besties even when it involves testes 😅

-

[First recipe they are given is soup]

Ian: “I have recently became a soup boy.”

Anthony: “Yeah.”

Courtney: “You have become a soup boy. That’s why I put you on this case.”

Ian: “Oh, is that right? Yes.”

Anthony: “I have been a good soup boy’s assistant.”

Ian: “Yeah.”

Anthony: “Ian invited me over. I was a little assistant, we made some soup.”

Ian: “We made soup together.”

Anthony: “It was really good.”

WHAT?! THEY MADE SOUP TOGETHER! IAN INVITED HIM OVER AND THEY MADE SOUP TOGETHER!!! ANTHONY WAS HIS SOUP ASSISTANT!!! 😭…. Sorry, screaming over. But that is the cutest thing ever! So after the whole moment in January where Ian dashed many of our fantasies of them making soup together, it ended up actually happening and I am one happy girl knowing it did 😊

Making Of “Would You Push This Button?”

So the BTS of the Would You Push This Button? sketch provided us with a couple moments :-

-

Not a compliment or anything but you know, gotta include the high-fives.

-

Now this other moment is complimentary but the dialogue isn’t that important so I’m just going to give a run down of what is happening :-

[Anthony filming Ian sitting recording voice audio that no longer is getting used for the main video. Ian rambles on about how only members get to hear it and how we’re getting it for free, but not really free cause we paid for membership, and how this audio was originally meant to be used as a Shut Up! intro but it wasn’t that funny, all while Ian is saying this you can hear Anthony laughing behind the camera]

Just another example of the fact that Ian is the funniest person to Anthony ☺️

Would You Push This Button? & MrBeast Copycat Watch Party

Of course to go along with the Would You Push This Button? sketch we also got the watch party livestream, along with them reacting to the previous sketch MrBeast Copycats Have Gone Too Far that they had missed.

-

[Earlier in the video Ian guesses that Apollo 17 was the last time humans set foot on the moon]

Ian: [reads chat comment] “Oh, I was right with Apollo 17.”

Anthony: “Damn! How did you know Apollo 17?”

Ian: “Just a good guess, I guess.”

Wee compliment from Anthony 😊

-

Chat comment: ‘What’s the latest soup Ian’s learned to make?’

Ian: “The last one that I learned to make was the African Peanut Stew.”

Anthony: “Oh yeah, that one sounds so good.”

Ian: “So good.”

Anthony: “I was like is that shit vegan?”

Ian: “It was so good- yeah, yeah, it’s vegan.”

Anthony: “Yeah, we got to make that one. We got to make that one next.”

Aw, soup boy’s assistant is wanting to get back in the kitchen with him 🥹

-

[Boys do a quiz to find out which Bratz doll they are]

Q: ‘What is a personal flaw that your friends accept you for?’

Anthony: “Probably shy and awkward. That’s true.”

Erin: “Do you agree, Ian?”

Anthony: [looks at Ian] “Do you accept me for that?”

Ian: “I accept you for that.”

Anthony: “Okay, thank you.”

Just a cute little one 😝

-

[Ian taking the quiz]

Q: ‘Pick a fashion icon’

Ian: “I think I’m a Bianca Jagger.”

Anthony: “Sure. That feels right.”

Another little compliment from Anthony cause why not ✨

-

Q: ‘What’s your favourite relic from the 2000s?’

Ian: “I’m going to do [sings] being young, carefree and stupid.”

Anthony: “That was mine too.”

#twinning #justbestiethings

-

Q: ‘Which y2k fragrance did you have/would you have on your vanity tray?’

Ian: “I am definitely Princess by Vera Wang.”

Anthony: “Yep. That sounds right.”

Just Anthony agreeing that Ian is a princess 👑

-

Ian: [on the personal flaw question] “I feel like I’m all of these things.”

Anthony: “You’re a drama queen…”

Ian: “I think my honesty can be harsh. I think- actually I can’t be wild.”

Anthony: “You’ve been wild.”

Ian: “I am a drama queen.”

Anthony: “When are you a drama queen?”

Ian: “I feel like I can be a catty little bitch sometimes.”

Anthony: “But that’s not a drama queen.”

Ian: “Like I love drama. Like whenever I hear that there’s a problem I’m like [rubs hands together] ‘alright, let’s go’.”

Anthony: “Yeah, but I feel like drama queens are also like in the drama.”

Erin: “He’s a little dramatic.”

Anthony: “Is he in the drama though?”

Erin: “I would say so.”

Ian: [laughs]

Anthony: “I feel like he observes it and talks about it.”

Ian: “Sometimes I can be the drama. No, I don’t think I’m- I love hearing other people’s drama…”

Anthony: “Yeah.”

Ian: “But I feel like sometimes my honesty can be harsh.”

Anthony: “Sure, sure.”

Ian: “Sometimes I, you know, like sometimes there’s things that just don’t need to be said.”

Anthony: [laughs] “And you used to have no filter.”

Ian: “Sometimes I say it, I think I’ve gotten a little bit better, where I’ll be like, ‘I- never mind’.”

Anthony: “Yeah, yeah. I accept you for it.”

Ian: “Okay.”

Anthony: “I’ve grown to accept it. I used to be very sensitive.”

Love how this started off as something silly but turned into a genuine compliment by the end of it.

-

[Ian gets Jade as his answer]

Ian: [reading answer description] “…bold and thinks outside of the box or just someone who’s wild at heart.”

Anthony: “I could see wild at heart.”

Just a little mini compliment from Anthony there

…

Anthony: [reads chat comment and laughs] “Why is Ian on such a high from getting Jade over Anthony getting Jade?” [Anthony really wanted Jade as his answer as the crew said that’s who he was like]

Ian: Umm, I just didn’t think I was cool, man.”

Anthony: “Dude, you’re cool, Ian.” [pats chest] “You gotta have a little confidence, man.”

A double compliment from Anthony in this little section, you love to see it!

-

[reacting to the MrBeast sketch]

Anthony: “Yeah, that one was good. Your Mr Beast character, you fucking killed it, man. And going into the horror mode at the end [of the video] was great.”

It’s been a very heavy Anthony complimenting Ian livestream as you can probably tell 😅 not that I’m complaining!

-

[reacting to the Button sketch]

Ian: [talking about his Mormon character’s wig] “Wow, the blonde really brings out my eyes.”

Anthony: “Yeah, it looks really good.”

We do know Anthony loves Ian’s blue eyes 😉

-

[Ian dressed as a woman in the sketch]

Anthony: “Your lipstick is poppin’!”

Just another complimentary moment I wanted to include 😄

-

Chat comment: ‘Ian plays the mother so well it’s scary’

Ian: “That’s because I am mother.”

Anthony: “Ian is mother.”

👀 Okay, Anthony…

And that was it for this livestream!

Making Of “Grimace: Where Is He Now?”

The BTS of the Grimace: Where Is He Now? sketch gave us a couple little moments, not necessarily compliments, but wanted to include them nonetheless :-

-

First was this moment where Ian and Anthony are looking at each other through a door covered with fake police tape and they reach through and touch each other’s hands.

(As usual sorry for the terrible gif quality, I tried 🫣)

But yeah, thought this was cute so wanted to make it part of this post 😊

-

And the other moment I wanted to include was as they were doing the outro to the video :-

Anthony: “Why do we need a fog machine when we have…”

[both Ian and Anthony blow out of their mouths so you can see their breath in the cold air]

Ian: “Wow, I don’t know if that looked cool on camera but…”

Anthony: “Felt cool.”

And then of course, gotta include one of their signature moves…

The high-five!

There’s A Werewolf Among Us…

So the boys joined in on this Games video along with Courtney, Arasha, Spencer, Chanse and Trevor where they played Werewolf, in which one person is the werewolf and they have kill off other players without being discovered.

-

[Arasha brings up how she used to play it when it was called Mafia and the others joke around saying that it’s no longer called that because it’s offensive to Italian-Americans]

Courtney: “Angela actually held up a sign in the front of the building, she was like - ‘Please stop’.”

Ian: “Yeah, she picketed us.”

Anthony: “She’s on strike for the day.”

Ian: [laughs] “She’s on strike.”

Love when the shoe is on the other foot and it’s Ian finding Anthony funny, always very cute ☺️

-

[Everyone saying they think it’s Ian]

Chanse: “I was gonna say, I think I thought it was Anthony, but I’ve changed my mind.”

Ian: “Well, I mean, I would say I trust you two [Anthony and Chanse] ‘cause you didn’t immediately just go along with it. If you were the werewolf you would have immediately just motioned to vote because you’re like, yeah, let’s kill another villager.”

Trevor: “Or maybe they’re trying to hide it…”

Ian: “No.”

Trevor: “Because they already had someone second it. So why would they jump immediately?”

Ian: “Right, but they would need to be to jump in.”

Anthony: “Or maybe there’s no information to even go off of in the first round.”

Chanse: “I nominate Ian.”

Trevor: “Yeah. Vote time?”

Spencer: “Unfortunately, Ian.”

Ian: “All right, I’m just…”

Spencer: “You have made your case.”

Ian: “Okay, all right.”

Spencer: “And it’s vote time.”

Ian: “I think Anthony’s safe. I don’t trust anyone else.”

It’s sweet how Ian says Anthony’s the only one he trusts here as everyone besides Anthony is saying they think Ian is the werewolf. It’s also doubly sweet when you think about the fact that Anthony actually was the werewolf this round and yet, he was the only one Ian trusted 🥺

-

[Arasha making her case for the werewolf not to kill her]

Anthony: “Why are you giving werewolf tips?”

Courtney: “She’s plugging all the holes.”

Ian: [puts hands up] “I am nominating Arasha [as the werewolf].”

Anthony: [puts hand up] “I am nominating Arasha as well.”

I love when they just follow what each other’s doing 😌

-

[Anthony’s character dies]

Trevor: [going to raise his hand but backing down and everyone asking what he was going to say] “I just wanted to do it again. I was gonna do it again, where I just make a blatant accusation for no reason.”

Courtney: “It is good, though, for the plot.”

Chanse: ���It starts shit.”

Trevor: [puts hand up] “All right, I think it’s Ian.”

Courtney: “The werewolf?”

Trevor: “Yeah.”

Spencer: “All right, does anyone wanna second that?”

Ian: “I think that’s a terrible decision.”

Trevor: “No, not necessarily nominating, I just would like to, you know, cast some doubt upon his character.”

Spencer: “Gosh darn.”

Courtney: “Yeah.” [points at Ian] “You like wolves!”

Ian: “I don’t like wolves.”

Trevor: “You would kill Anthony.”

Ian: [makes a sad/unhappy face]

Trevor: “You would. You hater.”

Ian: “What do you mean I would kill Anthony?”

Trevor: “You’re trying to, like oh, I would never kill my best friend. Oooh.”

Ian: “I never-”

Chanse: “He’s trying to start shit.”

Courtney: [laughing]

Trevor: “See? See? Ian’s like, ooh, they won’t think it’s me because I would never kill my best friend.”

Ian: “This guy talks too much.”

Anthony: [laughs]

Loved this moment, especially how not happy Ian was with the accusation that he would kill Anthony, even in a game. And of course can never resist when it’s brought up that they’re best friends. Also loved how Anthony didn’t say anything and only laughed at what Ian said - the bestie-ism was shining through! 👯‍♂️

And that was it for this video!

-

With that, that brings us to end of the compliments for February 2024! A shorter one as I said but hope you all still enjoyed 😊

Thanks for reading and I shall see you next time! 🫶

[ihatehugo]

hey!!! if you enjoy varian and the seven kingdoms please stop scrolling for just a moment!!!!

so i know there are multiple fanfiction creators who have written their own versions of vat7k and i love and have read each and every one of them

i decided i wanted to join in on the fun and so i’ve been working on my own version of vat7k for over a year now

i’ve split it into three books plus a prequel and a sequel. each book (minus the prequel & sequal) have 22 chapters each. the prequel & sequel will have around 1-10 chapters (it depends on how long the written portion is)

i wanted to make my series have a similar vibe to an actual tv show so the chapters will be posted as if they are episodes. for example, one chapter will be lore based and another will be similar to a filler episode.

sadly, i’m still working on it and it probably won’t be done anytime soon but i do have a decent portion of it created. i have an idea for what to put into each chapter and am working on the details of each chapter. i’ve also written a few snippets here and there and here’s one from the prequel, After Ever After:

Varian’s pacing. He knows he’s pacing but by the Sun, he’s angry. For years, he’s wanted to know more about his mother. For years, he’s begged to hear stories about her. For years, he’s lived off of the small scraps that his father gave to him, only to learn that he has been keeping a key component about his mother from him.

His mother’s journal sits before him on Xavier’s table, a deep forest green with a symbol engraved upon it. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say it's mocking him. Just when he made peace with the fact that nothing will ever change in Corona, this journal pops into existence as a big “fuck you!” to Varian’s mental wellbeing.

Xavier has been watching him patiently, having already picked his way through the journal. Varian stubbornly refuses to be the one to speak first but Xavier is just staring at him, his eyes following the path Varian is making into his floor.

Varian doesn’t speak for several more seconds before he demands: “So? What does it mean? What are the Seven Trials and why was my mom so obsessed with it?”

“Ah, yes, the Seven Trials,” Xavier enunciates. He rubs his chin as a faraway look passes over his face. “It is an old tale but one worth revisiting.”

“Oh, would you quit it?” Varian snaps. He stops pacing and stands across from Xavier, arms crossed and his foot tapping the ground repeatedly. “I really don’t want a long winded explanation right now.”

Xavier chuckles. “Very well. I will keep my story short. The Seven Trials were a test made long ago by Demanitus himself.”

Varian’s foot falls with a final thump. “Demanitus? My mom followed his studies too?”

“It would seem so.” Xavier gently picks up the journal and flicks through the pages. He stops about midway through the book and turns it for Varian to see. “And it also seems like she got very close to her goal.”

The entry on the page is annoyingly vague. The main phrases he gets from it are words he’s already read when he skimmed through it earlier. “The Eternal Library” particularly stands out to him. He could have sworn he heard it somewhere before.

When he rereads the paragraph, though, he puts together pieces that he had taken for granted before. Most of it doesn’t make any sense because she’s using key words only she obviously knows but Varian gets the gist of it. She completed all of the trials and found the location of the Eternal Library.

that’s all i have for that right now

if you have any questions, feel free to ask

and if you have suggestions, i’d be happy to hear them! i can’t promise any of them will make the cut but if they do, i’ll make sure to credit whoever’s idea it originally was

thank you for reading! if any of you are interested i might be able to post more snippets of it

[bengiyo]

Knock Knock Boys Ep 5 Stray Thoughts

Last week, we squarely sorted our housemates into two pairs and gave Almond a proper shake to make him get over Jumper. Almond spent the first chunk of the episode following Latte, and watched him give a talk to a club about pansexuality. He and Almond had a good moment after that, and Latte found himself getting jealous of Jumper at the barbecue they hosted later. Meanwhile, Thanwa is still looking for work but had an excellent moment with Peak in a closet where Peak apologized for taking a kiss from him earlier and asking for a new one. We left at Jane reentering the picture.

I do love their cold opens that are for a later scene in the episode. It feels so assured every time. I like the anticipation of paying attention to the moments so I know what that cold open is meant to provide as payoff.

I love Latte so much. He wakes up from sleeping on Almond and only gives a pleased smile about it. These two faking sleep are ridiculous. I know Almond was gonna toss his ass when the Now Kisstm moment started

Using the shirt to provide a barrier during a pratfall kiss is novel. I’m glad the first time their lips actually touch won’t be accidental, and that Latte got injured. We’ve only seen someone bleeding after a pratfall kiss in a few instances (Love Stage!! TH comes to mind).

Fiancée? I am ready for the drama.

These boys are nosy as hell!

The energy Jane gives off is so knowing. I am compelled.

Almond, the rich kid, took his shirt off to pretend to clean the walls with it after rolling away from the door. Incredible.

She is so ready to fight this man. They do not feel like they are romantically involved.

I feel bad for Thanwa. He’s staying out of the way, and even waited a bit for answers before calling.

Finally, someone acknowledged that every goddamn mosquito would be flying in through those open doors.

Morning wood in my BL? It’s more likely than  you think.

Almond, we see you still smiling about what you saw.

I’m with Almond. I wouldn’t want to eat breakfast at this tense table. However, I am also with Latte just trying to get some food in before walking to class.

Thanwa feels so properly gay to me. He’s being so careful about being neutral in his interactions with Jane.

I don’t like Max.

I like Lukpeach taking her offense to their sexual health club and talking about how improper it is to film people’s private moments and post them for clout.

Almond, focus please!

These two have a fun dynamic. Almond is still clearly thinking about Latte’s dick, and I love Latte being upfront that he’s down to play if Almond wants.

An unfortunate t-shirt choice there, costuming department.

This framing with the bed scene is excellent. Thanwa is still willing to offer Peak shelter, but he’s made it clear that they can’t have any more closeness while this situation with Jane remains unresolved.

Yes, put on your glasses so you can see his back properly. This show is very good at communicating that the characters are feeling multiple things.

Baby’s first dildo!

I don’t think they’re talking about the job anymore, guys.

This boy is skipping home to use his new toy! I love that for him.

You’re gonna need more Vaseline than that, baby boy.

I really love that Almond is allowed to explore his body this way. He lucked out on his roommates, too. Latte was worried when he heard him scream, and I love him teasing Almond about helping. It’s so cool that Almond is made to feel like he is desirable in some way.

And now Jane is covering for Peak, and didn’t react much about Almond saying he kissed Thanwa. She knows.

Oh no. Almond, do not go check that locker room. You are gonna get your little heart broken.

Glad I called that Jumper was already with his friend.

Almond….no… You were just at a meeting about consent.

That’s interesting. I thought we would find out about Jumper and Shawn via the clip, not that Almond would have already seen them together.

Wow, that’s a difficult cliffhanger. You could see Latte pulling away from Almond.

The preview is not promising!

Wow, I was not expecting the show to go beyond the “don’t film people” PSA aside. Having Almond overstep that boundary in a moment of jealousy and be caught for it is ripe with tension. I like that it’s Latte who catches it first, because he’s been dealing with Almond overstepping boundaries with him for multiple episodes with him following him places and trying to see his dick. Even if there’s been brewing sexual tension between them, Almond has been very firm about saying no to Latte. To have him then film and post Jumper like this is egregious, but in line with his earlier behavior. I’m excited to see where we go with them. As for Thanwa, I love that he still likes Peak even if he’s holding on his own line as well. This show whips ass.

[girl4music]

Never really done any meta writing on Aphrodite before or posted anything on here with Alexandra’s commentary in it but just so you guys know,… she’s also one of my favourite characters in Xena too. Some standout statements from Alexandra about Aphrodite and her relationships with Xena, Gabrielle and Ares come from the Mythology vs Xena featurette that was on the 10th Anniversary Anchor Bay released DVD set. I think you guys will enjoy learning all about the great significance of Aphrodite’s character in the show directly expressed by the actress that portrays her.

“I think people will be watching this TV show for a long time. I think it’s one of those moments in television history that’s really important because of what I said earlier about it’s really the first time that I can think of where you have two women who are really strong women action heroes who aren’t answering to men in some way or other or being dictated to.”

“I don’t think Aphrodite is homophobic. If you want to interpret the show that Xena and Gabrielle were lovers, Aphrodite was a complete cheerleader of their relationship, I think. It’s a big deal. It’s the first time that I can remember that a television show has had such a place for the lesbian community. I think that’s a really big deal too. And so to have this pink fluffy blonde bimbo-y girl is a little bit incongruous but I think there’s a little bit of genius in that because what you don’t expect in a show that’s kind of becoming a feminist icon is sex and humour and that’s what Aphrodite was and everybody likes sex and humour. Including feminists and lesbians. It’s kind of an overlooked part of life sometimes when people get very serious. So I think that maybe that’s one of the reasons she worked so well on the show and people loved her so much.”

“Surprisingly in some ways, the most pivotal episode for Aphrodite’s evolution in the show was ‘Punch Lines’ - which was almost an afterthought. They had already shot the show. I was done filming another episode and they asked me at the last minute ‘can you stay for a few more days and shoot a few more scenes we’re gonna put into ‘Punch Lines’’? ‘Punch Lines’ was a bottle show. It was really about Gabrielle. A story about Gabrielle and Lachrymose. And then they decided they needed a little bit of funny in there so they put in Aphrodite. But, again, here’s an episode basically with me and Renee. And that’s when Aphrodite gets into the hot tub. That’s when Aphrodite psychoanalyzes Gabrielle and there’s that slightly famous line about… what was it? Some possible repressed impulses - or something like that that became such a famous sort of fun fan line. Again, you’re gonna have to ask the fans what my line was. But I think that’s sort of the moment when Aphrodite got in there with Gabrielle and they created their own connection and their own friendship and relationship and Aphrodite started to take a personal interest in Gabrielle specifically and the love between Gabrielle and Xena.”

“We talk about Aphrodite and Ares and the Gods as if they’re human beings but they’re not, actually. They’re Gods. I think of them as archetypal human impulses. So in some ways you can look at the episode ‘Motherhood’ - the Twilight of the Gods - as this family crisis were Aphrodite is going against her family. Making a choice to betray her family in order to stand up for her friend - who she thinks is innocent, who pretty much is - Gabrielle. In another way you can look at it as all these different forces playing against each other and - of course Aphrodite, she is love, she is the embodiment of love, all kinds of love but certainly also magnanimous love, generous love, redemptive love. So she kind of has no choice but to stick up for Gabrielle. She can’t really… Ares would of course go try to kill her because he’s the God of War, but Aphrodite is the God of Love. She can’t. I think even if she didn’t already have this relationship she would have stuck up for her … nnngh might not be right about that, but certainly since she already had this connection, she had no choice. She had to fight for her, I think.”

I will leave you guys with this Xena confessions that perfectly describes the way I personally interpret both Aphrodite and Ares and the profound influence they have on our beloved WLW ship in Xena and Gabrielle.

[marley-manson]

Finally watched the Xena finale, thanks to the fanon episode order treating it as a midseason soft finale that gets fixed by When Fates Collide lol.

And man, it really was a hot mess. I could barely follow the plot, and many aspects were very arbitrary and like, revealed off-screen. The most hilarious of course being Xena suddenly announcing, like a minute before the end of the episode, that oh actually apparently she has to stay dead, sorry Gab, xoxo

It is VERY Xena though to have a plotline where Xena anticlimactically dies in the pre-credits scene at the beginning of part 2 and both you and the characters assume for the rest of the episode that she's going to come back to life like usual until the tragic twist lol.

Akemi was... resoundingly mediocre as one of Xena's exes. Her only personality traits were 'proto-Gabrielle' and 'wants to kill her dad.' Also like... was there incest subtext there? Like it was implied that the little creepy afterlife she was in was like, her dad's ghosts' personal brothel or something? But like I said, the plot was very hard to follow.

The themes were also a mess of course, it's been said many times but yeah ignoring the central theme of the show (atonement is pointless if you're doing good now) in favour of redemption thru death was dumb, the set up was dumb (we're blaming Xena for 40k deaths because she set a couple dudes on fire in self defense? Man at least give me an actual deliberate atrocity here), and choosing death over Gabrielle was like a dumb reverse Ides of March. Also Gabrielle just going like, 'damn okay I guess, bye forever,' was unbelievable. Even if Xena wants to backslide, I'm pretty sure Gabrielle would force her to come back to life anyway, fuck those souls. Like, it's not even clear how Xena's death helps them? Killing Akemi's evil dad again freed them from torment or whatever, who cares if they don't get avenged? What is a state of grace? How will they be lost, if she comes back to life? People go unavenged all the time, deal with it.

That said, I'd been under the impression that somehow Xena's death here contradicts the whole reincarnation thing, but I didn't get that at all? Idt there's any stipulation that she has to stay in the Japanese afterlife, just that she has to be killed and stay dead, and it does make sense since in their next lives Xena is a lot older than Gabrielle, so she should logically die a few decades earlier.

On the more positive side of things, it was very fun to see Gabrielle shining as ~the new Xena~ Love to see her kicking that one dude's ass twice, and the moment she catches the chakram is super cool. The non-Xena chakram-catch has always been framed as an 'oh shit, this woman's gonna be hardcore as hell' moment in the show so I love that they use it to show how far Gab's come.

And of course, gay gay gay homosexual gay. Like, season 6 is the point where I would say it is textual if only the show didn't go out of its way to scream "IT'S STILL AMBIGUOUS" a couple times lol (reporter's question in You Are There, fans in Soul Possession saying "yay Xena and Gabrielle are finally together" when they hear Harry and Mattie are married, eg.) "If I only had thirty seconds to live, this is how I'd want to spend them: looking into your eyes. I love you, Gabrielle." Like goddamn. I appreciate this cast and crew so much. Plus the incredibly thinly veiled makeout scene <3

Finally, while I think her chatting with Xena at the very end was meant to be more metaphorical or symbolic rather than literally Gabrielle talking to herself, it was an unfortunately funny image and a pretty terrible final scene imo. I do like the 'I hear they're in need of a girl with a chakram' reprise though, I gotta admit. Go kick some ass babe <3

And despite very much not liking that Xena dies in the finale, I would still read/watch the shit out of Gabrielle's now-single adventures as a just-as-invincible gay hero, kicking ass, fucking women without ever settling down with anyone, telling stories about Xena and becoming even more famous herself.

[reikunrei]

Shadows, Saving, and Simulations

A while back, I made a post (that I can no longer find) about some random bits of a couple episodes of Doctor Who that gave me some Stranger Things vibes with the intent of seeing if my inkling was warranted. Well, I finally watched the episodes again.

They are season 4, episodes 8 and 9, "Silence in the Library" and "Forest of the Dead."

The monster of these episodes are called the Vashta Nerada. We never actually see them, but they take the shape of shadows/exist as swarms within the darkness. They were the main reason why I initially thought of these episodes because of their being possible inspiration for the Shadow in Stranger Things, because while the Shadow/Mind Flayer is presented as one (mostly) singular, tangible being, the hive mind aspect of it/the UD is very similar to how the Vashta Nerada operate and communicate amongst each other to hunt.

There are even several characters who become "puppets" of the Vashta Nerada. Though while the don't actually go into the victims, the language is similar in that the Doctor says they become "infected" by the Vashta Nerada. They'll even attach themselves to a victim before consuming them to keep them "fresh" and to infect others. These victims wind up having two shadows: one benign and one infected.

The Vashta Nerada can strip flesh from bone in a fraction of a second, so the victims are dead in an instant and the swarm inhabits the suit they're wearing and manipulates that into moving. It starts off clunky and slow, but as the episode progresses, they get better at moving the suits to keep up with the others.

We even get a fun "strangling the person who's trying to help" moment. Hi, Joyce!

We're also introduced to a concept called "Data Ghosting." The members of the expedition party, the ones in the white suits, are each equipped with a communication device which, upon death of the wearer, hangs on to a copy of their consciousness anywhere from a few seconds to several hours afterward. These "ghosts" can continue to speak to the living until they deteriorate, often repeating a final word or phrase as their consciousness officially leaves.

At one point, the Doctor tries speaking to the Vashta Nerada, encouraging them to use the the lingering "data ghost" of one of the victims to manipulate their speech into telling the Doctor what they want. This occurs later as well when another victim is infected. Though, as the Doctor said earlier, "they're learning."

Anita, a member of the expedition, ultimately finds she has a second shadow, and in an attempt to trick the Vashta Nerada into believing they've already gotten inside her suit, they tint the visor. However, this proves futile, but nobody notices that she's been killed for a good long while, and she even continues talking, keeping pace as they run, and carrying herself like a normal person until the Doctor makes it clear he spotted that she's back down to one shadow.

I had completely forgotten about the "Data Ghosting" aspect of these episodes, so while I went into it thinking "ah, yes, a living shadow that puppets dead people in an attempt to kill others" was a pretty fun little similarity to the Mind Flayer, I didn't expect to then have "the shadow is trying to mimic the infected person in order to cause more damage."

Obviously, this isn't exactly like what's happening with, say, the flayed victims in ST who are still themselves but heightened to a certain degree rather than being wholly replaced (ie. Billy being angrier than usual). However, it specifically makes me think of this theory by @aemiron-main that, for example, "Henry" isn't Henry in TFS, and perhaps certain characters have been replaced with shapeshifters or doppelganger-type monsters. The Vashta Nerada are even feeding off of the remaining "data ghosts" in order to communicate, much like how a doppelganger would have to feed off of/consume their victim in order to pass as that person.

Now, with all that out of the way, let's get to the fun bit: NINA parallels.

These episodes take place on a planet-sized library which was constructed for the consciousness of a little girl to live in for eternity. The little girl, Charlotte, was dying of an incurable disease, so her grandfather created The Library for her to enjoy every book ever written, meanwhile also giving her an imaginary world to exist in as a "real girl," which leads her to believe that The Library is her imagination rather than the reverse reality.

However, as the Doctor, his companion Donna, and the expedition team fall under threat of the Vashta Nerada, Charlotte's psychologist, Dr. Moon, reveals to her the truth.

Yes, he even calls them nightmares!! Just like Henry calls his visions in TFS!!

Throughout the episode, we see Charlotte in her imaginary "real world" interacting with the library.

When the Doctor and Donna first "meet" her, what they actually come across is a hovering, sphere-shaped security camera that shuts off when Charlotte opens her eyes in her "real world." Then, when the Doctor tries to turn the security camera back on using his Sonic Screwdriver (a multi-purpose tool he carries with him), we see Charlotte reacting to the sound it emits/feeling the Doctor forcing the security camera back on, but her father and Dr. Moon don't hear the sound at all.

There are several other instances where Charlotte will hear something that's caused by commotion in the library, but her father in the "real world" can't hear it. At one point, the expedition team are trying to crack into the security protocols for the library in an attempt to find a way out/figure out what's going on, but they hit a wall and trigger an alarm. The alarm manifests as a phone ringing in Charlotte's living room, but when she asks her dad if he's going to pick it up, he says the phone isn't ringing.

Then, in an attempt to break through the security protocols even further, the Doctor winds up transmitting himself onto her TV and they speak briefly to each other. At this point, the Doctor & Co. have yet to know what Charlotte's relation is to the library, but she recognizes him as the man she saw "in my library." Before the Doctor can question her on that, the connection is lost.

Throughout the rest of the episode, we then see Charlotte "watching" what's happening in the library on her TV. She's basically watching the Doctor Who episodes within the Doctor Who episodes, and when she flips through channels, she switches to new scenes/shots. They even have a musical score that is very clearly coming from her TV. Her dad is unaware of this as well, and when she makes comments about the library being "on TV now," he chuckles and reminds her that the library is in her imagination.

Obviously, a lot of this reminded me of El talking to Brenner when she's in NINA in ST4, as well as the several times the grandfather clock chimes in TFS despite its otherwise glaring absence throughout the whole show. There's even that one moment before the attic sequence with Patty where Henry gets interrupted by the clock chime, but Patty doesn't seem to react to it at all, she only reacts to Henry reacting.

Not to mention the Vecna visions in ST4 and seeing/hearing the grandfather clock/other aspects of the vision when no one else can, El's running in and out of the Rainbow Room/shouting eliciting little to no reaction from the other kids, and Henry's weird half-real/half-not visions throughout all of TFS.

Let's talk more about Charlotte's "real world."

At the end of the first episode, Donna, while being transported to the TARDIS to be kept safe, gets mysteriously grabbed "by" the library. While Charlotte is watching The Library on her TV, she flips to a channel that is not in the library. We see Donna pulled out of an ambulance on a gurney and taken inside a care facility, where we then see Dr. Moon enter her room. However, she doesn't know who he is or where she is until he "reminds" her.

Peep the two years...

He gently feeds her information that gets her to believe one "reality" over another. And while it's not exactly the same, it reminded me very much of Brenner urging El to "remember" in order to proceed through NINA, and it reminded me of all the times Henry or other characters pushed the "it's a dream/nightmare" sentiment in order to change the outcome of something.

Throughout the rest of their interactions, Dr. Moon says "and then you remembered" and "and then you forgot" very frequently. His motives may seem wishy-washy at this point, since he was telling Charlotte that the "real world" is just her imagination, but here he is telling Donna that the "real world" is real and her memories of the Doctor are just "dreams." From what I can gather, it's mostly just to keep Charlotte/the simulation stable.

In these moments when Dr. Moon "reminds" Donna of what she remembered/forgot, she often will then behave like Dr. Moon has just arrived, greeting him again and seeming surprised, like she forgot he was there/like they hadn't just had a conversation with each other.

The way time progresses within this world really stuck out to me. It's played off like Donna has memory issues, but in reality, whenever something is suggested to her/she thinks of doing something else/going somewhere, it simply... happens. For example, in that scene with Dr. Moon asking her about her "dreams," when he suggests they go for a walk, they're simply suddenly outside taking a walk. She asks him how they got outside, because, from her point of view, there was just a snap transition from her room to outside. He talks her through how they walked out of the building and she laughs it off like she simply forgot again.

This phenomenon is finally explained to her by another character who was in The Library with her, Miss Evangelista, who's sentient of the fact that this "real world" is all a simulation.

Miss Evangelista was the first victim of the Vashta Nerada. She hides her face in a black veil because she was copied into the simulation when she died, resulting in her getting scrambled physically and mentally. In the library, she was a pretty ditz, but in the simulation, she's a photo-booth-swirl-filter-looking genius.

And like... do I even need to say it?

At this point, I guess I should just out and say what's really going on here. Charlotte, full name Charlotte Abigail Lux, or CAL, is the hard drive for The Library.

Her consciousness was essentially made into the computer that runs the whole planet, and 100 years prior to the Doctor and Donna arriving, the Vashta Nerada hatched, alerting the security system that the library was under attack, and in an attempt to rescue the 4,022 people who were physically in The Library that day, the library tried to transport them all out of harm's way. However, with nowhere to send them, CAL saved all of the people to the hard drive in this imaginary "real world."

They spend a lot of time equating this imagined "real world" to a dream. Alongside Dr. Moon initially telling Charlotte that her visions of The Library are "nightmares," the Doctor, attempting to wake up the computer to save the data core before it self-destructs (Charlotte had a meltdown of sorts once Miss Evangelista made Donna realize that her world, her husband, her children, are all just a figment of her imagination/an idealized world/a dream. While overwhelmed, she deleted her dad and Dr. Moon by pressing buttons on her TV remote, and this resulted in The Library going into self-destruct mode. This was also partially because Dr. Moon is a personification of the computer's "doctor moon," a fake moon placed into The Library to act as a virus checker) equates its state to that of someone who's dreaming, and that's when the "child hooked up to a mainframe" situation is revealed, because she is dreaming.

Which leads me into my next detail of import in these episodes: names and identity.

As we've already explored, Charlotte's true identity/purpose remained a mystery for most of the run time. We're aware that she has some sort of influence on/ownership over The Library, and in that early scene with Dr. Moon we're told that her "imagination"/"nightmares" (read: The Library) are the real world. However, it's not until well into the second episode that we're officially told that Charlotte is CAL, and only once they understand that fact are they able to figure out what to do to save the library and everyone inside of it.

We're also introduced to the (future) recurring character River Song. From the first moment we meet her, we're aware that she knows the Doctor. However, the Doctor makes it clear that he doesn't know her. Ultimately, we learn that this is the first time he's ever met her, and it's the last time she's ever going to see him. Because of this, she has years of experience with him to make her trust him unequivocally, but he is very distrustful of her, seeing as she's a total stranger to him.

However, there is one thing she says to him, something that she whispers in his ear so no one, not even the audience, can hear what she says. And that one whisper has him instantly putting all of his trust in her. And what did she say?

Spoilers: later in the show, River and the Doctor get married. That's why she knows his true name, not just his "Doctor" moniker.

Obviously, all of this name and identity stuff has me staring at the Henry slash Vecna slash One nonsense, the existence of Edward Creel, and the general "which character actually is this" of the whole kit and caboodle.

In a similar vein, we get multiple instances of language like this from River:

And while this is clearly just a "you're not the man I know yet" type of sentiment, which is something she specifies, there was no way I could ignore the implications of that kind of dialogue being put into ST. Especially in regard to this post made by James @henrysglock and the general idea that the same person can exist simultaneously/interact with themselves/be both themselves and "someone else." This also happens a lot in DW, and different iterations of the Doctor will meet each other occasionally, and each Doctor is different enough from the other + any later regeneration's additional life experience will allow them to help in different ways.

Just something about the "future you" being the "real you" because that's the "most accurate" you, and all the "past" yous are half-baked, incomplete, and not quite you just yet.

Actually, before I continue, in a similar vein to James's post I linked above, I should explain that we even get a moment of the future Doctor helping the past (present) Doctor within these two episodes.

In order to save all of the people in the hard drive, they need to "restore" them. However, CAL, overwhelmed, doesn't have enough memory in order for it to work smoothly. The Doctor suggests he hook himself up to the mainframe in order to assist, but River offers herself up instead, saying that it'll kill him if he does it and she can't let that happen. Ultimately, she knocks him out, handcuffs him away from her, and takes his place, killing herself in order to restore all of the people in the hard drive.

Earlier in the episodes, we learn that River also has a Sonic Screwdriver, that fancy multi-tool I mentioned a while back. However, that's not something the Doctor just gives away to people. Just before he and Donna are to leave the library, he sets the screwdriver atop her diary, which he was planning to leave in the library along with all of the other books. But then... it clicks.

Why would he give her his Sonic Screwdriver? Why would he do that, knowing he (his future self) would never see her again after this?

He cracks the device open only to see a piece of hardware exactly like the communication device that enabled the "data ghosts" from earlier. He's able to rush back to the hard drive, Sonic in hand (he does have to go fast, she's dwindling), and deposits her into the mainframe for her to exist in the imagined reality of Charlotte with her friends who had been killed by the Vashta Nerada.

His future self, knowing she was going to die on this trip to The Library, planned ahead, knowing his past self would be smart enough to figure it out and save her.

Anyway, where was I? Cripes, this post is all over the place!!

Stranger Things, at the present moment, is a bit of a mess in terms of identity and who's-who. We're told one thing, but when you peel back the layers, you find about a dozen other deviating routes that point in an entirely different direction. As I mentioned earlier, we even get extra characters like Edward Creel, who add another entirely new series of layers to help further muddy the waters.

Blame is something central to the story of Stranger Things. Specifically, where it is wrongly placed.

It was already apparent to me (as to most people) that one of the keys to "beating Vecna" in the end will have to be figuring out who he really is. Given that they think they know his identity, and yet they still managed to not beat him, is clear evidence that they don't have the full picture yet. And, much like how the Doctor wasn't able to figure out how to save The Library until he knew who and what CAL was, our gaggle of teenagers and errant adults won't be able to save Vecna until they know who and what he is.

However, my big takeaway after watching these Doctor Who episodes was... is anything in NINA even real at all?

I personally think that it has to come from some kind of truth, and, at least in the case of El in NINA, I think some of those moments really are her memories. With TFS, I'm a little more willing to look at it and go "yeah all of this is entirely a simulation." Given how many facts are misaligned with on-film canon, the insistent way we're told "Henry" is Henry by Henry (and other characters).

And the number of times Henry says, "This isn't real." Sure, those were in moments of distress when he was experiencing effects of the Shadow, but it still makes me go... okay, "Henry," if that even is your real name... how much of this isn't real?

Donna, once faced with the reality of her world being a simulation/dream, finds herself hard-pressed to keep up the image of it. She starts becoming more aware of the weird way in which time passes, she realizes that every other child in the world is an exact copy of her own, and she finds it difficult to reassure her children of their existence when they confess that they feel like they're not real sometimes. And, after they tell her this, they vanish into thin air.

This, obviously, is where things diverge in terms of how this applies to ST. Obviously, the point of NINA was for El to be aware of the fact that they're memories and to collect them again in order to get her powers back/find the source of her strength. But that leads me again into: if she doesn't remember them, how does she know that they're her own? This has been talked about extensively by folks like Em and James, so I won't touch on it more than that, but I think it's a likely possibility that has to be considered going into ST5.

This is a bit easier to apply to "Henry" in TFS. While I agree that some of it has to be taken from reality in order to construct the world he's in, as I said prior, the inconsistencies and timelines not matching up (again, spoken about a lot by James and Em, especially stuff like the newspaper dates being wrong) makes it stink of something especially wrong.

In these Doctor Who episodes, all of the people that exist in that world are, in fact, also real people! I think the only exception are the children, as they were fully fabricated by Donna's "settle down and start a family" dream. At the end of the second episode, she even goes searching through library records to see if the man she "married" was one of the 4,022 people who'd been saved.

However, in the end, he was real. We see him trying to call out to her as she walks away with the Doctor, but he gets teleported out of the library before he can get her attention.

Not only did this remind me of idea that Patty might not be real, but it sort of put me further in the camp of "Patty in TFS isn't real, but Patty is a real person." Like, I genuinely don't think that she's a fully fabricated being, but rather she's taken from some other reality and molded to fit the current situation.

Which also reminds me of, in these Doctor Who episodes, there are statues throughout The Library which offer information to guests, and they have real human faces on them. Donna talks to one early on in the first episode and it gives some spiel about how it "chose" a face she would "like" from their data bank. The Doctor says it's "like donating an organ." This idea has been talked about irt Patty in TFS being so similar to Henry in terms of likes and desires (they're both comic/superhero nerds and they both want to get away from their abusive households) (I know either Em or James have posted about that but I cannot for the life of me find the posts lol). Not to mention that Patty winds up filling a sort of maternal role for Henry, who is without a proper maternal figure in his life, which Em talks about in posts like this one irt Patty also looking for a paternal figure in her life/rebelling against the one she has.

So, they're both looking for something specific of these relationships, and, at least from Henry's side, he gets given someone who shares his interests and experiences and is willing to give him love and affection when the "proper" person isn't willing to (even if it does go awry in the end, but, y'know).

I got a bit sidetracked there, but looping back to what I said just a little ways above about the purpose of El's NINA simulation being to be aware of the fact that they're memories and try to follow them "the right way"... it's, again, interesting to me that the only time we see "Henry" insisting something isn't real is when he's in a "bad vision," and it makes me wonder what would have happened if he'd been able to question reality outside of that as well. Other characters tell him it's a dream/nightmare/not real (whether that's actually Patty or a friend in disguise, like James suggests in one of the posts of his I linked earlier, is to be confirmed) and that helps to snap him out of it/ground himself... but what if we got more of that? Would all of it fall apart? Much like how, once Charlotte became fully aware of what was going on and the "reality" was questioned, she sent the library into self-destruct?

And looping back again to the "Patty isn't real" stuff and Em's doppelganger theory, if Henry was allowed to question himself, would we potentially learn that "Henry" really isn't Henry? Like Donna said, he "could have had a different name out [there]."

Okay I... think I need to stop myself from going any further, so here's some closing thoughts!!

In short, none of these ideas are new. James and Em have spoken extensively about NINA/TFS being fake, or interspersed with lies at the very least; they've spoken about there being missing information/scenes during/prior to the 1979 HNL massacre; and aaaall that other stuff I already linked. Stav @heroesbyler was also the first to talk about Brenner's Doctor/Time Lord coding, which is something I also talk more about in this post.

Ultimately, the fact that there were so many things that jumped out at me in these DW episodes that aligned with ideas presented not only in these theories about ST, but within ST itself, makes me think that those theories really aren't far off the mark.

And while none of this gave me any answers, it reinforced a lot of questions (and added some new ones) that make me eager to see how everything culminates in this upcoming final season.

What's real and what isn't? Who's real and who isn't? Which are memories and which are fabrications? Whose memories/dreams belong to themselves and which ones belong to someone else? Are they twisted/swapped to get a specific outcome someone else wants? Is anything idealized to make it more alluring? Who can we actually trust throughout this whole damn series?

[utilitycaster]

(this might be a silly question, and please take this in the best possible faith, i don't mean it to be any kind of a gotcha or a trap, okay now that that's out of the way) i'm a cr fan who hasn't started c3 yet (still trucking through c2 and loving it) but i've been a quiet observer to whatever tf has been happening in the tumblr tags for it and have enjoyed your takes/opinions. so, asking this as someone without context who's not trying to comment on any recent ship developments (don't worry about spoilers though, not trying to avoid any), are there parts of c3, either characters or plot or backstories or whatever, that you do really enjoy/find compelling? (you might have already answered this, i've only been following you for like. a week and a half.) thank you!

Hi anon!

Yes, there definitely are! I completely get where you're coming from for this question, too, but I appreciate the context because I have gotten questions before where I feel like someone is trying to corner me and say CAN'T YOU BE POSITIVE??? Anyway, more on that at the end because I want to get to the things I do like, because there are, in fact, a lot. Also, because you've been vaguely following stuff this is chock full of spoilers just FYI.

Ashton, Chetney, and Fearne are all great characters. There is a lot of thought put into all three by the cast members who play them, I find their backstories and their inner lives rich and interesting, I am actually pretty patient with the Hishari plotline because Ashton has so much else going on that while I'm curious, I don't feel deprived. Chetney is just a great concept (for real people need to play older adventurers more often) and Travis is perhaps an unparalleled generator of interesting plot hooks, and Fearne constantly surprises me with her emotional depth and mischief - after two campaigns of Ashley playing characters who were often more, if not subdued, restrained or thoughtful, it's wonderful watching her let loose and be chaotic and cause problems.

Imogen is tricky because she's a character archetype I love, but her closest relationship does nothing for me. I would really love to see Laura lean into the darkness and moral ambiguity more. With that said her relationships with most of the rest of the party are great and I'd like more of them, and her family dynamics are also fascinating. With Imogen...I do want payoff but there has consistently been enough to keep me going.

Orym and FCG are interesting cases because I always liked Orym well enough but he was extremely Just A Guy - he delivered consistently but never wowed me - and I could not stand FCG earlier on. However, Orym's current arc is phenomenal. Liam's style doesn't always work for me but when it does, it really does, and the past few episodes have been top-tier Orym content. Similarly, after FCG learned of their history and met Dancer, they have been on an upswing that has not ended. I have never before turned around on a character to this degree but I love what Sam is doing. So if you're early on and FCG pisses you off: valid, but he gets good around episode 31 and then keeps being good.

The party split arcs are great. I love Uthodurn, I love Molaesmyr, I love getting to see some of Issylra, there's some great combat, the guests are all fantastic, it's a standout Laudna arc (quite literally part of why I've been recently frustrated with Laudna is because it's like every scrap of character development vanishes when she's within 15 feet of Imogen, like the dumbest paladin aura, but episodes 59-63 Laudna you will always be famous.

Earlier on, everything while Dorian is there is a fun time. Eshteross is precisely up my alley as are the Green Seekers. I also love the Twilight Mirror Museum heist.

The Bassuras arc is rough because there's a lot of good stuff going on but the plot is all weird and slow and I did not enjoy the guest arc. That said: some great interpersonal conversations, and also the Deathwish Run is a fun time if, like me, you love combat.

Yios casino episode, also a good time. The best way I can put it for someone watching through is that like...episodes 1-23 are typical finding one's characters/figuring out what's going on early campaign stuff, enjoyable overall, and the flaws within them can be attributed to that. 24-38 have plenty of bright spots within them (some of which I talked about) but it's a real slog at times. 39-42 are great. 43-45 are nonstop lore dump time, which isn't to say they are bad - there's some good stuff in there - but after 24-38 being lore dump and weird setup city it's a bit exhausting. Once the party goes to the feywild in 46 things get good and stay good. Like, for all the current romance isn't doing anything for me it's also, at this point, literally 2 minutes in an episode that otherwise fucking rules.

So just to get back on the bit about positivity: I tend to talk a lot more about what isn't working than what is. Some of this is because I firmly believe complaining is an art and a skill and is more fun to write. Some if it is also because I think if I like something, I just...like it! I can probably figure out why I like it if I want, but there's something very enjoyable about, well, just enjoying something. But if I don't like something, it's important for me to try to tease out why. Sometimes it's just that it doesn't work for me. There have been past CR characters who, while I can talk through the things I find I don't like about them, in the end it really comes down to "I think this personality is annoying, and that's valid and also a personal opinion." But sometimes I can frame it in terms of lack of narrative weight or momentum, or mechanically suboptimal builds that don't fit in with the character, or what have you, and I think it's valuable to be able to say that instead of just "wow this sucks." Like, there's meta to be had in why I don't care for something, whereas, for example, Fearne's incredibly clutch moves in the most recent episode were things I called out in my liveblogging but I don't have much to say other than "Ashley made some baller combat choices."

[agirlwithdemonblood]

Broken Fan - Chapter 3

Pairings: Jensen Ackles & Reader (Read as first person!)

Series Summary: Always a nobody, always invisible, will this convention change things?

Chapter Summary: A mix of emotions, mixed signals, what is a girl supposed to think?

Warnings: Anxiety, swearing, alcohol consumption, placement is in a bar for part of this story, slight panic.

Series Masterlist here! Main masterlist here!

Loud voices poured into the streets slowly and then all at once, and suddenly I was no longer alone.

I stood from my spot against the wall, and took in all the people flooding the entrance of the hotel once again. Casual conversations were being held about their favorite parts of the convention, how attractive the men were, and how excited for the signings everybody was.

That was one part of the convention I was most nervous about, actually meeting him. Especially after the way he stared at me, would he even recognize me? Would he judge me for freaking out and leaving?

Part of me didn't even want to go to the signing tomorrow, I wanted to get in my car and head back to my hometown, never look back. But I knew I couldn't do that. I spent almost all of my money for this chance, this moment to feel like a part of civilization, so that when I had to go back to my normal-shitty life, at least I could hold onto these moments to get me through the dark nights.

That's why I came here, this is what I wanted and needed to do, and I was determined to get over myself and meet the man who saved my life.

I was being dramatic earlier, so what if he stared at me? It didn't mean anything, he was just connecting with his fans, but why did it end up being me? Why did I have to overthink the way his eyes bored into mine. Why do I keep having flashbacks of that gorgeous smile that was spread across his face?

And fuck sakes, WHY did I feel a connection when there clearly wasn't one. He was famous, I was a nobody. It was stupid and I hated my mind.

I was going to forget it even happened, that was my goal.

Night finally approached and the streets got quiet, everybody went back to their hotel rooms to get some sleep for tomorrow.

I spent the day trying to relax myself as I put on some Supernatural episodes, but it felt different now. Watching Dean on the screen felt wrong, nearly uncomfortable because I felt like I no longer knew Dean. I felt like I knew Jensen.

I sighed and shut my phone down as the sky got even darker. I couldn't sit in my car any longer so I decided to go for a walk, even though I had no idea where I was.

There were a few stores down this street, but a majority of them were already closed for the night, but hope filled me when I spotted the bar at the end of the block.

Quickly checking my wallet, I smiled contentedly when I noticed I had enough for a quick drink, even though I barely drank as is. I wasn’t really a heavy drinker, I’ve been to block parties or went to bars for some fun, but I didn’t enjoy drinking too much. After todays events, I needed just enough to calm my nerves.

The parking lot was nearly empty, except for a few cars, which made me sigh in relief. Less people the better. It was a small place, sort of secluded and quiet.

I walked in and looked around, spotting only a few others inside at tables and sitting at the bar. With such a weird name like the "The Thirsty Horse", this place was actually quite cute. There were pool tables and a jukebox, and a dart board. It was nice and calming, exactly where I needed to be.

I grabbed my drink and sat at a corner booth, sipping slowly while looking around at my surroundings. I couldn't help but smile at the scattered people either on a date or chatting with their buddies, it sort of made me feel less alone to see them interacting.

Halfway through my drink, the bell to the door rang and two men in hoodies entered, heading straight for the bar. The taller man scanned the room while the shorter one talked to the bartender who simply nodded, and then went to lock the bar door.

Confusion and anxiety seeped in as I watched them act sketchy, until the door was locked and blinds were pulled down. The tall man took his sweater and glasses off first, and my jaw nearly dropped when I recognized the mystery figure.

Jared Padalecki.

My heart nearly stopped beating. If that was Jared, that could only mean....

The second man took off his sweater and my thought was confirmed. There he was, Jensen Ackles. They were here, in the same bar, only a few feet away, and directly by the door so I couldn't leave.

Fuck.

Jensen scanned the room in a way that made my heart beat faster. It was almost as if he sensed somebody here, like he was looking for somebody he knew.

I pushed my head in my drink and stayed low, crossing my fingers that he wouldn't notice, not after today, not with how I looked now. Thankfully, they didn't seem to recognize or even see me as they walked to the pool table and started chatting away like normal people, but I couldn't help but slightly watch the interaction. They looked so... normal. So regular.

Occasionally Jensen's eyes would scan the room once again, and every time I'd lower myself until it was nearly impossible to see him. I avoided watching them and quickly finished my drink before slowly sitting up, trying to spot the boys.

Jared was leaning against the bar chatting to the bartender and Jensen was nowhere to be found. I breathed easy when I realized he was probably in the bathroom, now was my chance. I got out of my seat and kept my head down, nodding at the bartender to lock the door after I left, and I rushed out.

My eyes stayed on the figures behind me, trying to make sure that Jensen didn't exit and see me, but he wasn't there. Thank god.

As soon as I turned to step out the door, my body ran into a firm figure in front of me, and I fell to the ground tangled with the poor victim of my clumsiness.

Embarrassment and anxiety was filling me as I started to untangle myself. "Shit! I am so sorry I wasn't paying attention."

"No problem at all." The famiar voice spoke, causing my heart to skip a beat. I knew that voice. Hesitantly, my eyes flickered up spotting the very man I was trying to avoid. Jensen.

He smiled softly as he stood from his spot, reaching his hand out to help me stand back up. With a shaky hand, I grabbed his and stood from my spot mere inches from him. His eyes were locked on mine once again, and I could barely breathe.

With all the strength I had, I ripped my gaze from his and stared down at the ground. "Uh, Seriously though I am really sorry."

He chuckled lightly as he dusted the dirt off his jeans, "Seriously though, it's totally fine."

I nodded and walked around him, swallowing hard with every step I took away from him. My entire body was buzzing and I felt like I could probably throw up at any moment, he must really think much about me now.

"Wait." He spoke, and I stopped dead in my tracks. Turning slowly, I tried to best to hide the look of anxiety that was probably stretched all across my face, and simply nodded for him to go on.

He stepped closer, "Your the girl from the convention right? Middle row?"

Oh god, he did remember me. What do I do? Shit, speak dummy, speak!

"Um, yeah that was me."

His smile widened and his hands moved into his pockets, a slight blush appearing on his cheeks as he stared back. "I thought I recognized you."

I giggled nervously and nodded, "Yup..."

Before my thoughts could run wild, he looked back to the bar and than to me, "Did you want to come in for a drink with me and Jared?"

Wait, what? Did I hear that right? I'm dreaming... Right?

He laughed at my shocked expression and held his hands up in surrender, "I'm sorry if that was uncomfortable, don't feel inclined to say yes, I just figured..."

He stopped for a second and I laughed lightly, "You just figured there was a fan who was meeting the people she always wanted to, and you felt inclined to do something nice, like a wish for a cancer kid or that sort of thing."

His smile dropped and I mentally kicked myself, nice way of wording it.

I shook my head frantically and stepped closer, "God, that was so rude I'm sorry."

"It's all good." He laughed out, "I was actually going to say that I figured if you didn't like the panel, I wanted to make it up to you."

I furrowed my brows in confusion, "Why do you think I didn't like the panel?"

He shrugged, "You did leave 15 minutes in."

"Oh." I whispered. "Right."

How the hell do I explain this one?

Before I could respond, he stepped closer, arms crossing over his body. "It's okay if you don't want to, I wouldn't be offended. If you end up changing your mind and want to come join us, we would be happy to have you." With that, he smiled and walked back to the entrance, only turning back at the door to shoot me yet another bright smile.

I stood in my spot for what felt like hours contemplating my decision. I could either go inside and drink with the boys-possibly have a great experience and get to know them better, or I could go home and wait till tomorrow, possibly regretting not saying yes.

I have no idea what to do. I have no idea why he even wanted me to drink with him, was it pity? Maybe it was his ego because I left the panel early, or maybe he felt the same thing I did-No that's stupid… right?

Jensen’s POV

I couldn’t take my eyes off those damn doors.

Was she going to come in? Did I come off too strong or make her uncomfortable, yet again?

I have no idea why this is happening, why I’m acting like a 17 year old boy who’s on my first date, I don’t even know her!

But there’s something about her I can’t place ever since the first day I saw her in the crowd. She looked so… vulnerable. So innocent and kind. For the first time in a long time, I felt a connection between us. I felt it when my eyes reached hers, I felt it when she crashed into me and she apologized for her sassy remark, there was something.

Maybe I was being stupid, but I swear she is different. She didn’t fangirl or freak out when she saw me, she treated me like a regular human being. She looked at me as if we were the same, and I adored that.

I don’t know what was going on or what it was about her, but I felt the need to talk to her more. To see her again.

Did she feel it too?

After mustering up as much courage I could, the doors swung open and I stepped inside, instantly feeling Jensen's eyes on me. I smiled nervously and crossed the room until I was directly in front of him.

"Hey, so glad you decided to join us." He stated confidently.

I shrugged and bit back the kiddish smile that wanted to appear, "Yeah, thanks for inviting me."

The silence was deafening, every moment that passed only made the tension grow higher. Jensen quickly cleared his throat and turned towards Jared, who was staring like he was watching a very interesting episode of his favorite show.

"Sorry, Jared this is..." Jensen froze and turned back towards me, "You never actually told me your name."

I shook my head as I laughed and stepped closer, reaching my hand out, "I'm Y/N, it's nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too Y/N, i'm going to get us some shots, you drink?"

I nodded in response as I sat at the table, trying to ignore the way Jensen's eyes were heating up every inch of my body the more he stared. He sat beside me quickly, turning to face my direction. "So..."

"So..." I repeated quietly, causing his chest to boom with laughter, god his laugh was beautiful.

"So, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

I turned in confusion, "What?"

"At the panel." He stated, "I apologize if when I kept looking at you, it made you feel uneasy or uncomfortable."

I shook my head frantically as a laugh escaped my throat, "You didn't. I'm pretty sure any fan would die if the great Jensen Ackles couldn't keep his eyes off of her."

His laugh was stronger, more powerful and it send shivers down my spine. "Not you though."

I stared back and waited, noting the way his smile faltered slightly. "The great Jensen Ackles doesn't have that effect on you huh?"

My cheeks burned red and I turned away, shrugging my shoulders. "I never said it didn't.

Like a saviour, Jared returned and placed all the shots in front of us, indicating for all of us to take a shot.

"Jensen, your first for pool." He stated, before taking Jensen's spot on the bench beside me.

Jared turned towards me and smirked, "So..."

I nearly choked on my drink as laughter erupted, "Wow, you and Jensen really are brothers eh? That's exactly how he started our conversation."

Jared laugh in response and nodded, "Yeah we know practically everything about eachother, which is why I wanted to ask... What did you do or say to catch Jensen's eye so quickly?"

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as I looked towards Jensen, and than Jared. "What?"

He shrugged and moved closer, "He never invites fans to have drinks, even when they ask. So I'm curious how you got an in."

I could suddenly feel reality slam right back into me, he was right. Who was I? Why was I here. I know Jared probably didn't mean anything with his comments, but I could suddenly feel guilty and embarrassed that it might look like I forced my way in here and that's not what I wanted to do, at all.

I took my last shot and smiled at Jared, "I'm sorry to cut this short but I actually have to head back, big day at the convetion tomorrow, thank you for letting me join and it was so good to see you again Jensen, so good to meet you Jared."

Before the boys could say anything, I rushed as fast as I could out of the bar, my heart was pounding in my ears and I couldn't breathe.

Was Jared right? Did I force my way into his life somehow or was it genuine? I was an idiot for thinking he wanted me there, right? I didn't know what to think, but I knew I felt embarrassed and ashamed, and anxious to see him tomorrow.

Jensen's POV

As soon as the bar door shut, I felt my heart pang in my chest. I don't understand, I thought we were getting somewhere, was that a stupid idea? I knew it was risky inviting a fan to have a drink with me, but she's different, what went wrong?

My gaze moved to Jared and I stepped closer, swatting his shoulder. "What did you say to her?"

He held his hands up in defense as a shocked expression appeared, "I didn't say anything, I was joking with her."

I grit my teeth and stared, "What did you say?"

He sighed and pushed the hair from his face, "I just asked her what she said or did to get an in with you considering you never ask fans to grab a drink with them."

I could feel the anger bubbling, "Your an idiot. You realize you made it seem like she conned her way into here, like I'm not the one who invited her and wanted her here."

Jared's expression faded as he realized what I was talking about, finally. "Oh. Shit, yeah I can see that now. I'm sorry dude I didn't think of it that way."

I sighed and sat beside him, finishing the shots that were laid out in front of us. Jared's hand came down on my shoulder as he brought another shot to his lips. "Seriously man, I'm sorry."

I shrugged, "It's okay. It might have been a bad idea to invite her anyways."

"Why did you." he whispered, "Just curious."

A deep sigh escaped my throat as I thought of an answer I didn't have, "I really don't know. I saw her at the convention and I just... I don't know, felt something? It's stupid, I don't even know her."

"It's not stupid." Jared started, "You can't help who you connect with, maybe she is special. I mean, you have never once invited somebody out for drinks with us unless it was a coworker or you've been dating them for a while. Also, don't think I didn't notice the way you were staring at her."

I shrugged and turned towards him, "But I don't know her."

He smiled lightly, "I don't think that matters, your heart wants what it wants, there's a reason why you felt so connected to her, you just need to figure out why."

"But, isn't this just complicated and stupid? Messing with a fan?"

Jared laughed loudly, "First of all, don't call it messing. Second, I met her for about two miniutes but I can say she did not treat you like you were a famous actor, or me for that matter, and she didn't act like a fan. That's not all she is."

I nodded, "Yeah, your right. I actually felt... human around her. Like I wasn't a celebrity or a piece of meat, she just treated me like normal. But I don't know how she feels, I may have come on too strong and blown it."

Jared shook his head, "You'll get another chance if it's fate, just let the world decide what's best for you."

Let the world decide. Pshh. I didn't really believe in fate, but after these two interactions with you, I was starting to think maybe Jared had a point, maybe it was fate.

Maybe you were made for me.

Maybe.

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Like, comment & reblog -feedback is my fuel ❤️

[defeateddetectives]

9 Fandom Peeps to Get to Know Better

thank youuu @coquelicoq for the tag! yes this is an entire month late because of who i am as a person :'D

3 ships you like: actually gonna give some real estate to the ones i have NOT been rotating nonstop on this space like a rotisserie chicken lately to mix things up!

1) hiyakawa/mikado (the night beyond the tricornered window) - a plug for my tiny, spooky, hilarious and obscure af manga series that blindsided me with its pathos (and because i want everyone to read it and then create some very niche fan-content for me specifically! :D wait who said that!) emotionally oblivious loser 4 emotionally oblivious loser!!! except they're emotionally oblivious in fun, complementary ways! their whole journey is absolutely bonkers and unexpectedly heartfelt, and yes, exorcism should be this hot always!

2) natsume/tanuma (natsume yuujinchou) - i know that no one will believe me when i say that this is still THE natsume yuujinchou ship to me at the end of the day! something something if i loved it less i might be able to talk about it more! but lonely kids finding one another and making each other's lives SO MUCH BETTER solely for existing in each other's orbit and being such a paragon of healthy, functional communication and trust and growing connection that still floors me to this day (and with such courage and eloquence that most adults still cannot manage...i say...sideeyeing two v specific adults)!!! theirs was the thread that pulled me into the series to begin with (i literally just watched all the tanuma eps on first pass) and i'm still so grateful for them and everything about them

3) jack rackham/anne bonny (black sails) - platonic/queerplatonic/romantic/whichever combo or other nebulous way you slice it! THE soulmates of all time that haunt me on the regular and really said to the audience: watch us take your expectations and definitions and parameters of love, joyfully smash it to smithereens, and create something so tremendously unrecognizable and beautiful. truly partners till they put us in the fucking ground!!!

first ship ever: the first fanfic i stumbled upon in my life featured taichi and yamato from digimon adventure. i still remember this because it was interspersed with an edit of yamato in a dress and posted on ye olde personal webpages and shown to me by a school friend, both of us looking like the :o face incarnate. we were Babies. it was a Time. i don't even think i knew what a ship was at the time but hashtag formative things!

last song you heard: it's been a grimes & janelle monae - venus fly kinda day

favourite childhood book: soft spot for whitechurch by chris lynch forever. i think i read it maybe in high school? it rewired my brain and is probably a huge part of why i am the way i am/write the way i do subconsciously.

currently reading: does vi bullying me into danmei count? in which case, global examination....at snail's pace. in this house we love and appreciate a good arson!

currently watching: recently started rewatching the original a:tla for the first time since it finished airing after trying and failing miserably with the live action :( only a few episodes in but augh its still so good and some things hit even harder with foreknowledge. there will never really be another character arc like zuko's ever again.

currently consuming: a smoothie! i've discovered i am a fan of almond butter when dunked in a blender with berries, yogurt and milk. 11/10 would recommend!

currently craving: earlier today i was daydreaming of bbq so let's go with that

super low pressure tagging @endless-season @half-infinite @argyros @fadedclxssic @caroline-hill @kastellaran @doubleboyfriend @constastan @spookirou and as always, everyone is welcome to steal

[azazelsazaleas]

I finished watching through DS9 a few weeks ago and I’ve been meaning to do a rundown of my thoughts on it. Here goes:

- Oh my god that was fantastic. I really wish it’s given it a fair shake back when it was on the air; I was a dumb teenager who resented it for not being TNG and was going through a weird self-loathing phase where I didn’t want to admit to myself that I was the massive nerd that I am. This seriously lived up to the hype. I may have to do a TNG rewatch because this might just have upstaged it as my favorite 90s Trek.

- Andrew Robinson should’ve been made a full cast member. Ditto Max Grodenchik and Aaron Eisenberg.

- Damar’s transmission at the end of The Changing Face of Evil lives rent-free in my head. I cheered out loud at that.

- One thing the show did fantastically that a lot of other SF/fantasy properties don’t quite get right is that it lands a pitch-perfect balance of “these characters are major, important figures in the larger multinational conflict” and “this conflict is absolutely massive and not everything revolves around the same small group of people.” The fact that Sisko, Worf, Kira, Odo, et al are so important is entirely plausible and it never feels like the writers are trying to gratuitously bring everything back to them.

- That said, I kind of love that Admiral Ross’s leadership approach during the Dominion War eventually consists of doing whatever the hell Sisko tells him to do.

- God, the acting was incredible. Andrew Robinson, Armin Shimerman, Nana Visitor, Marc Alaimo, and Louise Fletcher were real standouts, but everyone was just so damned good.

- Actually, I really need to give special mention to Shimerman. The man went above and beyond to make Quark be something more than a joke character, despite how obvious it was that basically the entire production team wanted him to just be cartoonish comic relief. He worked harder to flesh out his character and show his race as a race of *people* (not just caricatures) than just about any actor playing an alien on Star Trek before him except for maybe Nimoy. Give the man a goddamn Emmy. Don’t believe me? Go rewatch the iconic root beer scene from The Way of the Warrior.

That said: I do have a few criticisms:

- Pretty much all of the (canon) romantic subplots were just…yikes. The only major exception I can think of Sisko/Yates, where they actually seemed to have a healthy dynamic, fall legitimately in love with each other, and generally treat each other like adults in a serious relationship, not bickering teenagers.

- Seriously, Worf/Jadzia got so hard to watch and then the fallout with Ezri was just ugggghhhhhhhhh stop please for the love of god

- Why did the writers need to try to romantically pair off all the female characters? Just, why?

- Kira had more sexual tension with that Romulan lady in half an episode than she did with any of her bucket-of-paint boyfriends over the course of seven years.

- I totally get the behind-the-seasons reasons why things panned out the way they did, but (hot take) I think Dax’s whole arc would’ve worked better if they had killed Jadzia off after the first season or two and brought in Ezri earlier. Jadzia was fun, but she was just too perfect to get many interesting stories and her relationship with Worf felt too much like manufactured drama. Having a trill who didn’t want to be joined, agreed to in a life or death emergency situation, and now has to reckon not only with taking on this symbiotic relationship with no preparation whatsoever but also succeeding this beloved person in the eyes of her loved ones is such a better setup for a character and it’s a pity we didn’t get to see that play out properly.

- Sisko deserved a better conclusion to his story. Give the man his damned house on Bajor and let him raise his kid with Kasidy. He’s more than earned it.

- Next time I rewatch the series, I’m skipping the mirror universe episodes and the ones with the genetically enhanced walking-90s-neurodivergent-stereotypes.

Other random thoughts:

- Dukat’s storyline should’ve ended with him getting killed at the end of Waltz. Either by Sisko, or by deluding himself so thoroughly that he does something suicidal. The pah-wraiths subplot felt like a lazy afterthought (except for the episode where he pretends to be Bajoran and starts fucking Kai Winn) and as much as I liked watching Marc Alaimo act, his story arc was basically over at the end of Sacrifice of Angels….which, incidentally is when Damar actually starts to get interesting.

- I loved the O’Brien must suffer episodes but I thought Hard Time was kind of overrated. Mostly for the plot line with the cellmate; I think I’m a little burned out on seeing stories that have a moral of “deep inside us is a line between humanity and savagery and when pushed to the limit, even the best of us would turn to murder.” It’s been done to death, and it’s really not truthful, at least for many people.

- I think I may have a little bit of a crush on Major Kira. It would never work out if I met someone like that in real life, though. I’m a laid-back, atheist, creative type; she’s a deeply devout former insurgent. Given certain real-life crushes I’ve had recently; maybe I’m just into strong women with big, expressive eyes who wear their hearts on their sleeve and have a spine made of fuckin’ steel. I have no idea what this says about me.

- MORN

- Favorite Episodes: In the Pale Moonlight, The Visitor, Improbable Cause/The Die is Cast, In Purgatory’s Shadow/By Inferno’s Light, In the Cards, Duet, The Wire, Civil Defense, The Magnificent Ferengi, basically the entire Dominion War arc.

[watchingspnagain]

Rewatching Changing Channels

Welcome to “‘Supernatural is filmed before a live studio audience’: A Supernatural Rewatch Blog” with Lor and Mace!

Up today, s5e8: Changing Channels.

Sam comes home to the boys’ bright, sunny apartment to find that Dean has been shirking his research in favor of entertaining a bikini-clad lady. Oh, and there’s a laugh track. What? Rewind. A few days earlier, the boys are investigating the death of a man with anger-management problems who seems to have been killed by the Incredible Hulk. Sam suspects the Trickster, and suggests trying to convince him to help them stop the apocalypse. When they go to an abandoned warehouse thinking they have a lead on where the Trickster will be, they get zapped into a hospital where everyone thinks they are doctors, doctors who seem to be caught up in a great deal of personal drama. The boys are stuck on TV, making their way through a number of shows, including Doctor Sexy, Dean’s “guilty pleasure” medical drama. They catch the Trickster, and he tells them to “play their roles” before disappearing. With the help of Cas, they figure out the Trickster must actually be an angel, trap him in holy fire, and make him explain himself. He’s Gabriel, and he insists Sam and Dean must play their roles in the apocalypse and that the boys mirror the conflict in Heaven, with Dean the faithful son (Michael) and Sam the rebellious one, who chaffed under his father’s rules (Lucifer). Dean rejects all this, but they are both shaken.

Below is a log of our real-time reactions as we watched. Remember that there may be spoilers for any part of SPN’s 15-season run here. Note also that the nature of our conversation is adult and thus it may contain adult language and themes.

 [and we begin:]

Mace:

I LOVE THIS EPISODE

Lor:

ME TOO IT'S SO GOOD

Mace:

YASYASYAS

Mace:

You know what the Latin is for a sword’s sheath, Dean? Because that’s pretty much what you are to Michael, right?

Lor:

LOLOL

Lor:

I love that they drop you in with no idea what's going on

Mace:

YES

Mace:

these silly eps are where we really actually see how amazing these two are as actors, I think

Lor:

YES YES YES I was just thinking that

Mace:

omg the theme song!

Lor:

omg the son of a bitch

Mace:

YES

Lor:

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA YES

Lor:

and the montage behind it

Mace:

how much stupid fun must they have had making this

Lor:

RIGHT?

Mace:

AND THEY’RE IN OHIO

Lor:

YES

Lor:

OMG Dean your face

Mace:

YES

Lor:

YOU WERE NOT CHANNEL SURFING DEAN YOU WERE WATCHING YOUR DOCTOR CRUSH

Mace:

poor Dean. Sammy’s scorn won’t let him admit that

smacks Sammy upside

Lor:

right? don't kick him when he's a confused muffin, Sammy

Mace:

brothers. yeesh.

Lor:

LOL!

Lor:

Banner or Norton? I LOVE HIM

Mace:

BANNER OR NORTON

Mace:

HAHAHAHA

Lor:

LOL

Mace:

Dean, bud, that doesn’t even make sense

Lor:

lololol

Lor:

"you might say you wouldn't like him when he's angry" LOL

Mace:

I was talking to the fly in the kitchen this morning and told him, “Stay right there, bud, until I get the swatter” and then I felt bad calling him “bud” before killing him. I have issues, I think.

Mace:

HAHAHAHA

Lor:

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Lor:

they are both looking particularly lovely this ep

Mace:

they really really are

Lor:

oh Dean. you're gonna ally with so many worser dudes than Gabe, honey

Mace:

right?!

Lor:

mmmm scanners. sounds like childhood

Mace:

…what?

Lor:

my dad. it was one of his hobbies. he listened to them for funsies. to the best of my knowledge, he was not using the info to hunt the supernatural

Mace:

Ah. interesting.

Lor:

OMG Sam's face after she slaps him the second time

Mace:

YES

Lor:

"that's your theory?" well, he's right, Deano

Mace:

HA

Lor:

"I dunno. it is compelling" LOL

Lor:

OMG Dean's reaction to Dr. Sexy versus all the others

Lor:

HON.

Mace:

OMG Dean’s “doctor"

Lor:

YAAAAS

Mace:

YESYESYES

Mace:

he is so crushed out

Lor:

RIGHT?!

Lor:

"yeah, you're not a fan" lol Sammy

Mace:

oooh he slammed him up against the wall...

Lor:

HE REALLY REALLY DID

Lor:

omg I love him

Mace:

YES

Mace:

“my own little idiot box” and who, exactly is the idiot here, Gabe? So. Many. Choices.

Lor:

"you two muttonheads broke the world" LOL

Lor:

HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA

Lor:

omg his eyebrow waggle

Mace:

YAS

Mace:

the soundtrack omg

Lor:

"it's real, it's real"

Mace:

omg DEAN

Mace:

SAM’S FACE

Lor:

OH SO HE CAN GET SHOT IN THE BACK AND FUCKING SAM CAN SAVE HIM BUT A LITTLE REBAR IS THE END?!

Mace:

HAHAHAHAHA

Mace:

HE SAID STAT

Lor:

LOL

Lor:

omg the game show coming for Sam

right?

Mace:

omg their FACES

Lor:

OMG the FACES

Lor:

LOLOLOLOLOL

Mace:

HAHAHAHA

Lor:

CAS!

Mace:

YES

Mace:

PRETTY BOY ANGELS

Lor:

"mister trickster does not like pretty boy angels"

Mace:

i mean, he’s not wrong

Lor:

YES

Lor:

LOL

Mace:

he is very pretty

Lor:

he really is

Lor:

OMG Dean's face when he hits the button

Mace:

YES

Lor:

SOMEONE CAST HIM IN A COMEDY RIGHT NOW

Mace:

RIGHT?! BOTH OF THEM

Lor:

YES

Mace:

HAHAHAHA THE COMMERCIAL

Lor:

YES

Lor:

omg the side effects

Mace:

YES

Mace:

“slightly lessen the spread” HAHAHAHA

Lor:

YES

Mace:

“how is that funny?!”

Lor:

"how was that funny?" LOLOL talking to the laugh track

Lor:

YES

Mace:

YES

Mace:

oooh Cas with his little cuts

Mace:

HOT

Lor:

YESYESYES

Lor:

oooo now Dean is getting pushed up against a wall

Mace:

YAS

Lor:

OMG I FORGOT ABOUT THE CSI ONE

Mace:

ME TOO

Mace:

omg they look SO GOOD

Lor:

RIGHT?

Lor:

WOULD WATCH

Mace:

“no talent douchebags"

Mace:

HAHAHAHA

Lor:

"calm down?! I am wearing SUNGLASSES at night"

Lor:

LOLOLOLOL

Lor:

OMG THE WALK DED

Mace:

YAS

Mace:

I’m gonna need Sammy to keep that bright blue shirt

Mace:

OMG SAMMY

Lor:

YES

Lor:

I'm gonna need Dean to keep those sunglasses

Mace:

YES

Lor:

Dean, baby, the decor is the same. Pay attention

Mace:

right?

Lor:

THE MUSIC

Mace:

YES

Mace:

I LOVED KIT as a kid

Lor:

YES!

Lor:

the leaves shot

Mace:

YES

Mace:

“should I honk?"

Mace:

AHAHAHA

Mace:

“eat me”

Lor:

"should I honk?" HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Lor:

LOLOL

Lor:

"nobody's going anywhere until Sam has opposable thumbs" I LOVE HIM. he could just say "put Sam back" but no, because it's Dean

Mace:

YEP

Lor:

"we pulled it out of Sam's ass"

Mace:

SNORK

Lor:

SAMMY

Mace:

YES

Lor:

"they call me Gabriel"

Lor:

aw, Gabe. I love the little jerk

Mace:

AGREED

Lor:

"you sorry sons a bitches"

Mace:

HAHAHA

Lor:

"you were born to this boys" "as it is in heaven, so it must be on earth" I LOVE IT IT'S SO DUMB BUT I LOVE IT SO MUCH IT MAKES ME ALL BOUNCY

Mace:

It’s really nice and parallelly

Lor:

yep

Mace:

chosen ones and cycles so good

Lor:

YES

Lor:

oooo nice upside down shot in the water

Lor:

"first of all, you can bring Cas back" pets him

Mace:

YES

Mace:

Gabe has really nice eyes

Lor:

RIGHT?

Mace:

Oh Dean. Kettle much?

Lor:

yeeeeah

Lor:

he was hot when he busted the fire alarm though, so

Mace:

HAHAHA

Lor:

"I wish I was back on a tv show"

Mace:

oooof

Lor:

RIGHT?

[marley-manson]

scattered thoughts on season 2 of xena after marathoning it over a few nights.

-- Girls Just Wanna Have Fun is so fun lmao, it didn't even occur to me that the vampire ladies could've been hypnotizing Gab until I saw it mentioned in a tumblr post lol, I 100% just took it as Gabrielle being attracted to them. I mean one of them even has a buzzcut.

-- Xena is great because it's a true genderswapped cheesy genre show, complete with extremely bland one episode love interests who die to provide our heroes with manpain. Also Xena totally subconsciously let Callisto kill Perdicus, come on. Loved Gab's rage afterwards <3

-- Lucy Lawless and Hudson Leick are excellent at playing each other. Hudson Leick is so good as Xena that I always forget Lucy Lawless isn't actually in Ten Little Warlords lol, and Lucy Lawless' Callisto is great too, especially when she's playing Callisto pretending to be Xena.

-- Love Ares' first episode as a mortal too. Love that he's scared of rats, a decent fighter but still needs Xena to save him a few times, and the moment where he contemplates having actual blood on his hands for the first time is *chef kiss*

-- I'd skipped Miss Amphipolis when I first watched Xena because I'd heard it was transphobic, and then saw a post praising the episode for its progressiveness so I was like hm I guess I'll give it a shot. Honestly, it had its good elements, but yeah I think the criticism is warranted. Awesome if it's true that Karen Dior was openly HIV+ when she and Lucy Lawless kissed here, love that. And if the idea was that Miss Artiphys was more a drag queen than a trans woman it's not too bad I guess? But if she was meant to be trans then yikes, terrible depiction, lots of 'he's really a man' shit (plus the name c'mon). And the lack of clarity doesn't help either way.

Also Gabrielle's mild homophobia was a weird choice, and I didn't like that she only won after every other woman turned down the crown lol - I get the point that none of them really wanted it or enjoyed the pageant while Artiphys did, but I feel like that point could've been made without putting her in last place.

Kudos to the director for objectifying her just as much as any other woman though lol.

-- They should've given a little bit more time to Xena and M'lila's relationship in Destiny, since her death is the catalyst for her going evil, but unfortunately it felt like a very arbitrary final straw. It was funny though that M'lila died for her because she just knew it wasn't Xena's time to die yet lol. Like c'mon, at least imply they got close off-screen.

-- Also Xena 🤝 Dennis Reynolds: because of the implication. I'm actually torn on how much that's intended lol, because on the one hand they certainly do not frame Xena as an actual rapist here, she's still sympathetic and Caesar's still the ruthless villian. But on the other hand the predator/prey metaphor when she was coming onto him was incredibly on the nose (she even says "cutting off his path of retreat" like, yikes girl); Xena later points out that crucifying her was an overreaction and thinks she must've fucked with his head; Caesar has psychosexual nightmares about her in another later ep (ie killing him mid sex basic instinct style); and Caesar's "all those who prey on Rome" line is basically the payoff to his earlier "I am Rome" thing, essentially a coded way of phrasing "prey on me," which fits the sex thing more than the hostage thing, since that was literally preying on Rome.

Idk, I'm curious what the writers were aiming for here. Maybe some of it's just meant to suggest that Caesar has a crush and is mad about it lol, but it's eyebrow raising.

-- Also also: the montage of Gab and Xena at the end of Destiny is so ridiculously romantic <3

-- I love that Xena agrees to only possess Autolycus when he gives her permission, then bodyjacks him whenever he says no anyway. Autolycus is a delight in this ep. And I love how the show does everything it can to make it clear that it's Xena kissing Gabrielle in Autolycus' body, from Bruce Campbell's acting demonstrating exactly when he regains control of himself, to his "Seems like you two worked things out" in repsonse to the kiss, to him not noticing his hand was still on Gab's ass lmao.

-- A Day in the Life is still such a ridiculously good episode.

-- Can't believe how almost explicitly gay Blind Faith is even with the rest of season 2 to compare it to. Like okay maybe it's not quite The Quest's kiss, but something about Gabrielle's conversation with the gay dude where they both very overtly use ambiguous pronouns for the people they love feels like a step beyond. It's not just two close characters who love each other, it's lesbians situated specifically in a gay solidarity context, idk. I love it.

-- Also I cite this a lot but idc, I still fucking LOVE that Xena is temporarily rendered blind in this episode and she is still never physically challenged by anyone in a fight lmao. Like you'd think as a plotpoint it would be a way to have her uncharacteristically defenseless and reliant on this one-ep dude to defend her, right? Nope, she still outclasses him, all she needs him for is to watch out for cliff edges.

-- Also also I love that this annoying dude sees her as an idol and it's just accepted as obvious, absolutely no commentary on a dude modeling himself after a woman. She's Xena, of course aspiring warlords desperately wanna be her.

-- Ulysses here to reassure the straight audience after the tidal wave of gay we've seen in the last few episodes, but it can't even do that right because Gabrielle and Xena still 100% interact like they're hooking up and catching feelings but not exclusive.

-- The Price would be a perfect episode if it weren't for the racism in the depiction of the antagonist force, man, it's such a blot on an ideal Xena story. Also Xena is at her absolute sexiest here. I'm usually more of a Gab girl, but fuuuuuuck her hardass sadistic commander persona has me like 🥵. Hits the perfect balance of serious and dark, while her warlord flashbacks tend to be a little too exaggerated and campy to be truly sexy to me.

-- Also another episode where I love how men relate to Xena. She shows up, they find out she's Xena, and they immediately go "holy shit please take over, please command us, you're our only hope."

-- Cecrops is one of my favourite one-ep characters I think

-- Comedy of Eros is dumb but fun lol, I always enjoy how the show flips the script for Xena's occasional heterosexual turns, in the sense that she's the active participant, acting upon the men and going for what she wants. It is a relief when it stops being earnest and starts being solely for the sake of manipulation though lol, and I'm glad we have Cupid to blame for this one too. In fact, I think all the genuine reciprocated het is behind us now, right?

-- I love the fake out where Gabrielle nearly sees Xena first before Joxer gets in the way. I feel like I've seen some writer say once that they considered having Gabrielle fall in love with Xena for this episode, but they decided against it because they didn't want it to be a joke she gets over, and I am 100% behind that reasoning. It would've felt cheap imo. But the tease was cute lol, they know what the audience wants.

[petrichoraline]

Favorite we are character or scene?

i love this question, nani <3 thank you so much, i saved it for a day filled with rendering and eye straining but it's been five days now so ill sit comfortably and think about it

I'll start off with the fact I'm a very out of sight out of mind type of person, i could be banging my head against the wall cause of a scene but have no reaction if it's mentioned in the future soo I'm definitely not going diligently through my memory for this hahah

my fave characters are phum, q, chain and pun - phum is a bit too relatable on top of being really sweet and q had me shocked at how solid of a crush I had on him in the earlier episodes. as for chain -he is the bestest friend there imo, he has the serious level-headed look at times but he's always in for shenanigans; he did a play in two acts just for q to admit what everyone already knew and he enjoyed getting into the role despite the fact q made out with his supposed crush and came out all smug about it (I'd be gnawing on his face); he is just chill and fun and so so caring, he will barely put up a fight and he'll scold pun just out of obligation, he's also super gentle with him and the domestic dynamic they have is partially because of chains reliable nature. smart dental student who finds time for his studies, his friend's and pun (and his random ideas) in particular. just a solid guy, 10/10 [if he'd do something about moving this stoic ship it'd be great][and he's not too observant but he has his own romance to care about and, again, he seems to be one of the few putting in the work to get that degree]

and punnn, I have a soft spot for him because poon is just perfect, in the hands of the wrong actor a character like this could really be insufferable but pun pouts a bit and opens his eyes as wide as he can and you root for him completely. I liked him since episode one (had that relatable factor about him as well but most of us aren't lucky enough to have someone clean up our messes the second they happen lol)

I'd say it's between phum and chain, I like them in different ways. also the teacher we saw in exactly two episodes (who is now also a teacher in mlmu hahah) was cool and so is ciize's character who seems like a cameo atp

now, for a fave scene... ive giffed a few so you could think it's any one of them but actually I'm still stuck on episode ..1? 2? when they grab each other's hair and phum's thumb lingers over peem's ear. I go wild for that scene every single time cause it took you this little?? getting yelled at, a kick to the balls, some banter and physical contact?? baby you were desperatee desperate 💕

now looking back it makes perfect sense, the guy is touch, attention and affection starved so the amount of contact and time spent with peem was overwhelming ..but watching it back then was like oh. pick your jaw up cause peem is not catching the signals anywayss

there are plenty plenty of scenes I liked from friendship stuff to romantic lines like "so you mustn't forget mine" but this one i keep being reminded of so 🙂‍↕️

thank you so much for the question, I had fun thinking it through ☺️💞💓💖💗