#but alas no original ideas just fanfiction

[sassydefendorflower]

I want to talk about something. I want to talk about ableism in fandom. And sexism in fandom. Oh, and racism in fandom.

Mostly though, I wanna talk about how the discussion about these things often gets derailed because people don't understand what trends and typical behaviors actually are.

Whenever a Person of Color, a woman, someone disabled, someone queer (or an intersection of any of these groups) points out that certain fandom trends are bigoted in some shape or form, half the replies seem to be "but they are my comfort character! Maybe people just like them better because they are more interesting!" or even "people are allowed to have headcanons!" - the very daft even go for a "don't bring politics into fandom" which is a personal favorite because nothing exists in a vacuum and nothing is truly apolitical. But alas~

What most of these replies seemingly fail to understand is something very, very simple: it's not about you.

You, as an individual, are just one datapoint in a fandom. You are not the trend. You do not necessarily depict the typical behavior.

When someone points out that there is racism in fandom, that doesn't mean every fan is racist or perpetuating racist ideas*. By constantly mentioning your own lack of racism, quite often, you are actively derailing the conversation away from the problems at hand.

When someone names and describes a trend, they don't mean your headcanon specifically - they mean the accumulated number of headcanons perpetuating a harmful or outdated idea.

I am not saying this to forbid anyone from writing fics about their favorite characters or to keep anyone from having fun headcanons and sharing their theories and thoughts - quite the opposite actually. A critique of a general trend is not a critique of you as an individual - and you're going to have a much better, and more productive, time online if you can internalize that. If you stop growing defensive and instead allow yourself to actually digest the message of what was pointed out.

I am saying this to encourage some critical thinking.

Allow me to offer up some examples:

Case 1: A DC blogger made the daring statement that maybe Tim and Jason were such a popular fanfic focus because they are the only two undeniably white batboys. Immediately someone replied saying "no, it's all the fun traumatic situations we can put them in!". Which is an insane statement to make, considering the same can be said for literally ANY OTHER DC Batman and Batfam character.

The original post wasn't anything groundbreaking, they didn't accuse anyone, didn't name any names... but immediately there was a justification, immediately there was a reason why people might like these characters more. No one stopped to take a second and reflect on the current trends in fanfiction, no one considered that maybe this wasn't a declaration against people who like these characters but a thesis depicting the OVERALL trend of fandom once again focusing on undeniably white (and male) characters.

(don't get me started on the racebending of white characters in media that has a big Cast of Color and the implications of that)

Case 2: A meta posted on Ao3 about ableism in the Criminal Minds fandom caught my attention. A wonderful piece, very thoughtful, analyzing certain characterization choices within the fandom through the lens of an actually autistic person. The conclusion they reached: the writing of Spencer Reid as an autistic character, while often charming and comforting, tended to be incredibly infantilizing and at worst downright ableist. They came to that conclusion while CLEARLY stating that the individual fanfic wasn't the problem, but the general fandom trend in depicting this character.

Once again, looking at the replies seemed to be a mistake: while many comments furthered the discussion, there were quite a few which completely missed the point. Some were downright hostile. Because how dare this author imply that THEY are ableist when they write their favorite character using that specific characterization.

It didn't matter that the author allowed room for personal interpretation. It didn't matter that they noted something concerning about the entire fandom - people still thought they were attacking singular people.

Case 3: I wrote a fic about abortion in the FMA(b) fandom (actually I've written a weird amount of fics about abortion in a lot of fandoms, but alas) and I got hate comments for it. Because of that I addressed the bias in fandom against pro-choice depictions of pregnancies. I pointed out that the utter lack of abortion in many omegaverse stories or even mpreg or het romances, painted the picture of an unconscious bias that hurt people for whom abortion was the only option, the best possible ending. The response on the post itself was mostly positive, but I got anon hate.

(which I can unfortunately not show you since I deleted it in the months since)

And I'm not overly broken up about it, but it also underlines my point: by pointing at a general problem, a typical behavior, a larger trend... people feel personally attacked.

This inability to discuss sexism, ableism, racism, transphobia, etc in fandom without people turning defensive and hurt... well, it damages our ability to have these conversations at all.

Earlier I said YOU are not the problem - well, i think part of this discussion is acknowledging that: sometimes YOU are in fact part of the problem. And that's not the end of the world. But you can only recognize yourself as a cog in the machine, if you can examine your own actions, your own biases, your own preferences critically and without becoming defensive.

And, again, this is not to keep you from finding comfort in your favorite characters and headcanons. This is also not to say that I am free of biases and internalized bigotries - I am also very much a part of the system. A part of the problem.

This is so you can comfortably ask yourself "but why is there no abortion in this universe?" or "why are my favorite black characters always the top in my slash ships?" or "why do I write this disabled character as childish and in need of help?" - and sometimes the answer is "because I am disabled and I want comfort", and that's fine too.

There is no one shoe fits all in fiction. There is not a single trope that captures all members of a group. There is no single stereotype that isn't also someone's comfort. No group is a monolith, no experienced all-encompasing (or entirely unique).

There is never a simple answer.

But that doesn't mean you should stop questioning your own biases, your own ideals.

Especially, if you grow defensive if someone points out that a certain trend you engage in might be racist. Or sexist. Or queerphobic. Or fucking ableist.

*this does not mean negate the general anti-blackness perpetuated by most cultures as a result of colonialism and slavery

[angstandchaoscreator]

> Writeblr Introduction <

What’s up, writeblr? I go by Percy and I’ve been lurking on tumblr for quite some time, and I’ve finally said, “fuck it,” which leads us to the here and now. I’ll be posting original excerpts as well as fanfiction because I’m a huge nerd and I can’t just have one hobby. That would make my life even more boring than it already is(for legal reasons, this sentence is a joke. Just a funny hahaha…)

Ideally, I’d like to be a full time novelist/author, but alas, I am a broke student with two part time jobs and a love for writing angst. Just pure angst(with the occasional appearance of crack and fluff, but I’m depressed so it comes few and far between. I’m also sleep deprived).

I hope you stick around for all my mad ideas(even if they’re silly).

[galvanizedfriend]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for the tag @kirythestitchwitch and @morningstargirl666 🤗

How many works do you have on ao3? 22! But I think I currently have two or three fics that are private because I keep meaning to rewrite and never get around to it.

What's your total ao3 word count? 1.617.205 😗

What fandoms do you write for? Currently only The Vampire Diaries/The Originals.

Top five fics by kudos: The Wolf (surprising no one, The Originals S1 rewriting), The Wolf II (surprising no one², The Originals S2 rewriting), Vice & Virtue (very surprising this has more kudos than TWIII lol, regency AU), The Wolf III (The Originals S3 and 4 rewriting) and The Sound of Settling (that time I committed coffee shop!AU).

Do you respond to comments? Yes! I try to always keep up with comments, but I get a little behind from time to time, especially with comments left on older fics. Sorry, folks 🥲 With WIPS, I tend to always reply to comments right before or immediately posting a new chapter.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Pendulum, for sure. The alternative ending is pure angst (and I love it very much, there's so much meaning and to me it's a perfect ending for that story).

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? All the others lol All my fics have a happy ending, Pendulum is an exception.

Do you get hate on fics? Not so much anymore, though I did recently get a bitter anon here on tumblr. But yeah, I've received a lot of hate over the years.

Do you write smut? Occasionally, when I feel like the story asks for a smutty scene, but more often than not I go with the classic fade to black.

Craziest crossover: I've never written crossovers, though I have written lots of AUs inspired by other things (I forgot what those are called now).

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yes, I have. A while back this nutjob stole a bunch of fics and published them as originals on Amazon and The Wolf was among them. I got lots of comments from people warning me about it and I managed to get it taken down.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes, I have! To Russian and Chinese.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? I have not, though it's a fun idea.

All time favorite ship? My favorite ship is always the current one and I've been stuck on Klaroline for a few years now. Those two idiots in love have my whole heart.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I have so many. 🥲 I really wanted to give the TVD S5 rewrite a chance, but really don't think I have it in me to start something like that again.

What are your writing strengths? Oh boy. I suck at paying myself a compliment. But I've heard I write good action scenes? I don't know if it's true. Personally, I think I do a decent job of writing AUs, as in adapting canon aspects to other universes. I don't just plaster names on characters, I try very hard to make sure everything is still recognizable even in a totally different setting (then again, that's very subjective 😂).

What are your writing weaknesses? Wordiness. I am so freaking wordy, my stories are so goddamn long. I wish I could simplify my writing, shorten sentences, but alas. I have these ideas for writing exercises I would like to try with a couple of ideas I have, but I need to finish the ones I have started before I can jump into something else.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language? If it's single words or short sentences, it's ok. I kinda like it even, but when it's full dialogues in languages I don't understand, it kind of loses me.

First fandom you wrote in? I think I wrote some semblance of fic when I was like 12 for Charmed, though I didn't even know that was fanfiction. But the first conscious fic I ever wrote was for Torchwood.

Favorite fic you've written? Pendulum. I think it's the most original and profound (lol) thing I ever wrote, it expresses many aspects of how I feel about KC. But I also really, really like The Unexpected Grace of Falling Apart. I LOVE romcoms and I think that story is everything I love in that genre, without being completely silly (in my opinion, ofc). Those two fics couldn't be more different if I wanted to, but one thing they have in common is the fact I spent years working on them.

Tagging @definedareasofuncertainty, @howlingmoonrise, @misssophiachase, @jinxedwood, @bettsfic, @bellemorte180, @marginally-accurate, @b-mina and @austennerdita2533!

[just-a-floofy-catt]

I took a bit of a break from posting cus im tired as balls atm lmao

But i wanted to atleast chuck something out today so heres the ref/original idea sheet of Avery, my fnaf sb self-insert/oc from a while ago :)

(Ive already kinda shown this b4 but now it just looks nicer)

(And has all the writing stuff below the pic in this post)

Also here's some bonus info on him and his role and all :)

• Hes a trans dude (he/they pronouns) that "is built like a twink and dresses like a femboy" (silly quote from my friend lmao😭), and has an extremely ambiguous voice - British accent btw (grew up in the UK, he moved over to his current residence and lives w a roommate who was his online friend).

• Hes can occasionally be a lil bit of a freak behind the scenes XD. Has indulged in alot of fanfiction, draws some questionable stuff for money and also generally can have pretty crude and vulgar humor sometimes lmao.

• Hes pretty creative with a long ass list of hobbies. Loves fashion and costumes, is an artist, avid sewer and just generally loves making things with his hands in his spare time (100% brings his crochet to work XD)

• Has almost crippling anxiety about literally almost everything.

• Hes very polite and tolerates alot of bullshit to avoid conflict, but inside he is 100% raging with the heat of 1000 suns despite the fact hes outwardly shaking enough to be practically vibrating. He will definitely talk shit about the situation to himself in great, excruciating, dramatic detail with alot of angry cursing later and then probably cry about it.

• The boi is a little try-hard that will do their job above minimum effort in order to get praise, or out of fear for getting in trouble.

• Hes typically empathetic to a fault and a straight up (un)qualified therapist.

• Oh, also, hes a raging insomniac.

- First got the job because art commissions were a little slow and, hey, a more reliable source of money at the time wouldnt hurt.

- He was always kinda curious about the place because the scary stories about it were fun to pick apart and he loved the designs of all the animatronics (pft furry).

- He showed up to the interview scared shitless but they hired him almost on the spot, much to his confusion, as he was probably less than entirely qualified for this sort of job.

- From his very first day, he showed up pushing the dress code XD. But, he was indeed wearing the uniform, so he was technically following the rules(THEY COULDNT DO SHIT TO HIM 🥰) (well they could) (but the understaffing issue was more prioritised).

- His coworkers genuinely have no fucking clue how he manages to give enough of a shit to put that much stuff on every morning. The fits are always very over the top, considering all he had to do was put the damn uniform on, but alas, he usually showed up in head to toe accessories and such. It's honestly the best way he can make himself go into work. If he's gonna work a kinda shitty job that doesn't fit his schedule that well and have to do it on barely any sleep, THEN FUCK YEAH HES GONNA DO IT WHILE LOOKIN GOOD. Thats his philosophy on it, atleast XD.

- At first while he settles into the job hes just given shifts in general areas, working joint shifts with more trained security guards or maintenance people or animatronic handlers (those were his favourites. He always got excited like a little kid when getting to see any of the animatronics) to get him used to the place.

Fazbear ent. Was clearly desperate for employees as they were almost always understaffed, but it seemed that they weren't willing to give many employees a strict job role. Rather, expecting them to be a jack of all trades as to try and fix that little issue.

This also happened to apply to Avery, explaining why he was given such oddly scattered and different jobs to settle him in.

- Even as he did start becoming independent, this didnt much change.

One night he could be watching security cameras in the office, the next he could be counting stock at a gift shop, the next he could be helping out with minor maintenance tasks on the robots (despite his ZERO FUCKING KNOWLEDGE ON THEM. Great job there Faz.Ent. Oh well. As time went on he did get atleast a little accustomed to it and managed not to electrically fry his no-robotics-degree-having ass. And he also gained a bestie in the Parts and Services Department, so that was pretty helpful too).

Shit was pretty damn good.

- Thats when they 'suddenly' decide that daycare security is necessary. Something about parents becoming increasingly weary of the odd 'Daycare Attendant' animatronic.

With Avery being their newest hire and most likely to agree to take the position, he immediately gets targeted.

- Now, Avery isnt fond of kids.

Theyre annoying little shits.

So the second he hears 'daycare' hes like "fuck no".

Not to mention that his uh... 'look' (that management had still protested until eventually giving up) would probably set off some entitled mothers or something, and he'd rather not have parents screaming in his face about it.

- Alas, hes eventually convinced into it, under the condition that he gets to stay behind the security desk and not be bothered at all.

- Theyve had security there before, after a few... incidents... but it seemed like they were putting him on a more long term intended job.

- Turns out, from what he can gather from coworkers, a few people have been assigned to the daycare in the past for multiple different roles, but noone really enjoyed it and everyone avoided the place as much as possible. Sun just generally freaked everyone out with that weird... desperation he always had (which was definitely a part of what the parents had also been complaining about) and Moon just scared them all shitless, with the night security guards always looking over their shoulder in hopes of not crossing patrol with him. Noone really downright hated them, some even felt sympathy, but most were just too unsettled to interact with them.

- Avery, being a bit of a pussy, is even further put off from the job by these sentiments.

However, he perseveres and dresses his best to try and convince himself that itd be fine (aka, that if he died atleast hed die pretty).

- The daycare actually had its own themed uniform alongside the plain guard uniform, as did alot of other places in the pizzaplex. However, since the employees were given a choice, basically everyone chose to not don the more whimsical fits, and instead just use their badge to show the specific job or branch they were supposed to be legally assigned to.

- Avery, on the other hand, fucking lived for that shit. XD

Styled it like a girlboss and walked into work at exactly 6.30am, 30 minutes before the daycare opened, prepared to look perfectly the part for his job.

- When he walked into the daycare (he avoided the slide... hm.. maybe if he ever has a night shift here....) and the lights were already on and bright enough to blind a bitch.

Oh well, their electric bill, not his problem.

- He immediately settled behind the desk, planning to keep his ass planted there for the next few hours with one earbud in, hidden under his hair, as he would halfheartedly watch the kids.

But...

Something felt off.

Really fucking weird.

He was definitely being *watched*.

Observed.

Ugh, creepy.

He ignored it, blaming it on lack of sleep.

And thats about as far as i got plan wise for his lil plotline XD

Yippee

[nana-glass-chillhop-radio-hour]

🌈🤲

🌈 i found writing a prose novel in response to audio fiction SO challenging. I had to do several "studies" where I wrote a novelized version of an existing TSV scene and make some baseline decisions about how to handle the POV character's interiority before really starting to sit down and draft come hell or high water. Just like... adaptation is kind of hard I guess!!

I also really struggled with transitioning from the second act to the third act in that work, and I fear it shows. Alas.

And I was very proud of the Carpenter monologues in 'My Song Cries Prophecy and Doom'! I honestly don't have much experience writing horror but I really enjoyed just like, mimicking that classic Ware horror monologue cadence with lots of multisyllabic Latinate words and complicated clauses while Carpenter recounts the MOST vivid childhood trauma in a disingenuously blase register despite the fact that her trauma is quite literally slowly killing her lol. And I actually really enjoyed the voice acting too. I had zero confidence in my ability to pull off an accent from outside the US so I just tried to lean into my natural vaguely Pennsyltuckey Appalachian American accent and hope that it conveyed to accent-oriented listeners the same sense of 'this character is, in fact, from a place' that Méabh de Brún's Carpenter conveys to me 🥰🥰🥰

🤲 writing both original fiction and fanfiction has always been a way for me to work out what I think about things! Especially things that I care about so viscerally that it's hard to approach head-on. My fiction very often goes down the same rabbit holes about like. The sins of the father and human rights and queer aspec people navigating getting their needs met in quasi-romantic relationships and coming to terms with disappointment in God and engaging in self-destructive behavior and breaking cycles of trauma. These themes have literally been coming up in my writing since I was thirteen. I like having a place to play out different permutations of those ideas and see what sticks. I think that is what I get most from writing, the opportunity to tease apart my own feelings and thoughts. It does also mean sharing work feels very vulnerable but that's baseball for ya.

Thanks for the ask! 🥰🥰

[explosionshark]

Character ask game Rachel Amber?

General opinion/How much I care about them: BACHEL BAMBER MY ORIGINAL CHARACTER OC. Okay obviously not really but part of me will always think of her that way a bit - Kae and I DID start intensely working on Rachel fic before BTS was even announced. And I still think we did a better job writing her. Anyway obviously yeah I love her I find her so compelling. Being charming and beloved is such a part of who she is, but she's also got this darker side, this bottomless pit in her that always wants more more more and doesn't know how to fully let herself connect with someone that loves her because to do so would require her to compromise something else she wants. It's such a compelling central struggle, I love teasing it out. 8 years on and I'm still not normal about Rachel Amber

A ship I love: AMBERPRICEFIELD PEAK!!!!! I love the yearning and tragedy of Amberprice, the way they're slightly toxic. I think Amberfield is really sweet too. But put all that together and you've got a real meal.

A non-romantic relationship that I love: idk. Always liked writing the Joyce/Rachel relationship in HTLH. And I love Rachel/Dana friendship. Bicons tbh. Of course there's also Rachel/Victoria which (in my head) is a deeply one-sided looney Tunes ass relationship where Victoria is horny and scheming and filled with hate and Rachel just is like. "Victoria? Lmao ew"

The NOTP: I find Rachel/Frank compelling on a character level but I think he's an interesting mistake for her to make not a relationship I want to see progress. Jefferson/Rachel is, of course, the ultimate NOTP. Ditto to Nathan. Yuck.

My biggest headcanon about them: tons just tons but I love longboard Rachel Amber the most

An idea for a fanfiction I would like to write/read about them: (if I have none in my WIPs I'll make one up on the spot!) Lmao. I mean. I still wish we could finish HTLH someday - I dumped all my fave HCs into it, every time I find myself trying to come up with another Amberpricefield fic idea I realize I'm just doing HTLH again. Alas.

Something that makes me think of them: (a song, a character in another fandom, an animal, anything) me and Kae do have extensive Rachel Amber playlists but #1 Rachel Amber anthem of all time for me is "L.A. Looks" by HEALTH. absolute banger

Character Asks

[sugoi-and-spice]

Okay Hi again. I'm the Anon that made Dust Daddy Bible a thing. I wish to open the Dust Daddy Bible again and take a few new notes as I am curious if you can reveal some hcs about the Reader that once again has already been revealed/you wish to share? Maybe even some Hcs bout other characters like Spinner? Maybe some hcs that'll never see the light of day that you wish to share?

I'm also a bit curious on what inspired you to write PN and how does your general planning looks like for the series? I was inspired by you to start my own fanfic but alas...making hcs and an actual story is very hard and ends up in the dirty mostly white gutters fast.

Hey Anon! So glad to hear that my weird little Au fic inspired you!! I'm certainly happy to explain my inspiration and process a bit!

This took A LOT longer to write up than I anticipated, but I wanted to be thorough lol. So, in an effort to not make these novel of a post any longer than it needs to be, I'm just gonna answer the second half of your ask, rather than the headcanon stuff. But if you wanna re-ask that in a separate message I'll be happy to answer. ^_^

Alright, onto Spice's Fanfic Plotting 101!

So full disclosure: I get a lot of (if not most) of my ideas from other media and in some case other fanfics. For Play Nice, I was really inspired by the fic: The Danger Next Door by ratmonkey. I really liked that dynamic of the creepy forced friend with the popular girl and wanted to explore that in a one-shot. But of course, as I got writing, I ended up taking it in a completely different direction that I thought better suited the types of long-format stories I liked to tell and fit better in my writing style. And they went in two wildly different directions.

I'd never be ashamed of that idea origin though -- and neither should any of you. If you decide that you want to write literally the plot of Titanic but with Jujutsu Kaisen characters, fucking do it - it'll be original just on the basis that it'll be written by you. It's as the saying goes:

Good artists borrow, great artist steal.

So that's where the original idea came from. But as for expanding an idea into a full fic? Lately, I've been using the three following steps to do that:

1. Pilot.

2. Outline.

3. Schedule.

Self-explanatory right? No? Haha, well then--

So a pilot, in the way that I'm using the term, is the first episode of a tv show that serves as a prototype of a series. When a network likes a concept that they're pitched, they'll typically order a pilot episode to showcase the series' potential and gauge audience interest before committing to making a whole season.

This is essentially the same thing I do with a fanfic concept - a Pilot Phase. I write the idea as a one-shot or short multi-chapter fic, something that has a satisfying ending if I leave it as is, but that I could also expand on later. I measure how good or poor the response is as well as my own enjoyment and inspiration while writing, and if it's all great - I'll move forward into turning it into a longfic.

After that, I move into the Outline Phase. Outlining goes such a long way in keeping a fic consistent and motivated, imo. There are a lot of writers that start writing without any goal in mind, and then eventually burn out because they run out ideas. No shade to anyone who does btw! There are writers out there who can write without an outline and make something complete and amazing. And even those who do end up running out of ideas and abandoning a fic, fanfiction is all about fun at the end of the day. But for someone looking to break out of that habit and finish their long fics consistently and with quality, outlining and having a clear direction can really help mitigate these pitfalls.

Outlining can also work wonders for eliminating the ever-dreaded blank page. If I'm starting a chapter, even copy-and-pasting a word for word description like the following gives me something to work with:

"The beginning of MC and Shigaraki’s new routine. Bratty back and forths. Although by the end of it, Shigaraki decides that the time they have together is not enough and sets a new plan in motion."

And then I can expand and flourish the language from there, I'm not starting from nothing.

But of course, writing out a whole outline can be just as intimidating if not more so - after all, how do you go from a blank page to "here's all the plot!"? Well, this is why the Pilot and Outline Phases actually go hand and hand for me. Writing a Pilot/One-shot version when I'm first inspired by an idea means that when I start expanding it into a long fic, I'm also not starting from nothing! I already have a story or dynamic started, so it's a lot easier to build ideas and plot-points off of that, rather than just pulling a whole story out of thin air. They're very symbiotic.

Now, writing a good outline could easily be a whole giant post itself, and there's no one right way to do it. For me, I really like to use my outlines to track character arcs and different storylines. Play Nice has about four major different Plots and Sub-Plots going on that I label alphabetically and track in each episode.

Now as anyone that has read Play Nice can tell, these story beats are not necessarily all separate scenes or plotlines or anything - the A, B, & C Plot of this episode are all part of the same actual scene, but I still like to note them and the different effects that even one line of dialogue has on all these different plot points!

Identifying which story beats belong to which plot points helps me keep track of the progress of each one so that I don't write five chapters in a row just about Shigaraki and his relationship with AFO and suddenly realize "Oh shit! MC hasn't been in the story for like five chapters!" (Extreme example, but you get what I mean lol).

I also write out character guides and such in my outlines with the characters' wants, needs, and - in these AU fics - their alternate backstories. Crafting those things for a character however could, once again, be it's own whole post - but knowledge of Want vs Need and keeping character arcs in mind is what takes any piece of media to that next level, not just fanfic. :)

(You can find a great brief on Want vs Need here - welcome to Spice's film school friends xD)

One last note on outlines, is that you don't have to be beholden to them. I move around plot points I've outlined for earlier episodes into later episodes all the time. Play Nice was originally outlined as like a 15 chapter long-fic, but as the story has developed, that's obviously doubled (potentially tripled as I already brain-storm the sequel lolol). But yeah, Outlines are a map, not a bible.

So the Pilot and Outline phases make up the bulk of my patented fanfic process lol. But the icing on the cake that really keeps a fic moving for me is to keep a Schedule.

Full transparency if you didn't know already, I've worked professionally as a freelance writer for a little over three years now. And before that I got a BFA in Screenwriting. So I'm admittedly pretty used to having weekly deadlines for my creative writing now. My grades and rent have depended on it for 7+ years. There were absolutely weeks where, even on a project I loved, the absolute LAST fucking thing I wanted to do that week was write. But I had to push through if I wanted to get paid.

By setting the same type of schedule and expectations for myself, I'm able to hold myself accountable and force my way through even the worst writer's block. There's no real other trick to this one, I'm sorry to say. You just need to set a doable schedule and stick to it.

Now, I am fully aware of the irony of me stressing the importance of schedule right when Play Nice is in a bit of a slowdown - but I am only human. And while I have switched to a monthly posting schedule, I do still keep a similar writing schedule: I try to finish at least a rough draft of a chapter every two weeks. It just takes me a lot longer to edit the chapters now because they're so freaking long these days.

And, you know, this isn't my job. I write fanfic to have fun and explore ideas and themes that I don't necessarily want connected to my personal brand (*cough* Non-Con & Problematic Relationships *cough*), as well as to write for fun without the worry of whether or not an idea is sellable. If any of you do decide to take these tips and tricks for yourself, please remember to keep having fun and not put too much pressure on yourself!

(Also, a little Step 2.5: I try to have at least two chapters - preferably three or four - written past what I'm posting that week. For example, Chapter 20 is the last chapter I uploaded, but I'm actively writing the rough draft for Chapter 23 at the moment. I write in little arcs essentially, that way I can switch out moments between episodes and make edits to keep them all connected).

So, yeah! That's more or less my process! There's a lot more I could say but this post is already way too long, so if you have any follow-ups please feel free to send them in. Thank you for coming to my TEDTalk lol. I hope it was helpful for some of you and not just super lecture-y and pretentious. 😅 At the end of the day, whether you write a one-shot or a long fic, finish or abandon it, the fact that you put your ideas into existence is amazing.

¡Adiós!

[lordisitmine]

TTNBD BLOG PART FOUR

Covers chapters 4 and 4.5 of the story.

This is the chapter that gave me the idea to do these commentary blogs in the first place! This is also the longest chapter so far (*distant laughter from the future*)- I originally intended to try and keep each chapter of this story around seven thousand words, so they would all be nice and even, but alas, I’m just too verbose for such consistency. The story has to split the right way, and so that inevitably means that some updates will be longer than others. One of the later chapters I have planned might very well end up being twice as long as this one (*laughs again*), so I’ll really have no place to hide at that point. So, without further adieu, let’s get to it!

CHAPTER FOUR: AT THE TURNING OF THE YEAR

The title of this chapter isn’t directly inspired by anything- there is a folk song with that name, but I hadn’t heard of it until way after I already came up with the title for this chapter. It’s kind of a neat song though, so I’ll link it here- it’s about the changing of the seasons and the nature of mortality, and the kinds of things people think about and sing about at new year’s.

This chapter starts with one of my favourite scenes that I’ve written for this story so far. I think it’s probably my own personality showing through again, but the idea of having a woman dress up for me is like O_o and picking out her clothes for her!? Please. Anyway, Sybil is not being subtle… Lizzy is just really oblivious, though maybe not so shy anymore, based on the way the chapter ends. Don’t worry, don’t worry, we’ll get there.

I know Lizzy’s colour is pink; her outfits in the anime are all based on Lolita fashion, and they’re all in very typical feminine colours. Since she’s grown up now, I wanted her style to reflect that, as well as the changing of the times. And I just think blondes look so good in green. It’s my favourite colour, and it’s the colour of her eyes, so it would make them pop. I have at least one more party scene in this story, though, and she’ll be back in pink and frills for that one. I just wanted to give her a simpler, more classic silhouette for this one, which is what I think Sybil would have picked for her, with the ridiculously large sleeves that were so emblematic of the time.

And a Gibson girl hairstyle! This was a popular hairstyle of the time, albeit a little later, more into the 1910s (Edwardian rather than Victorian). But like I’ve said, I can and will fudge the numbers a little when it comes to historical accuracy, if I think I can get away with it and if I really want to be self-indulgent. This is fanfiction, after all. The hairstyle I described was not the one I ended up drawing. There are some variations when it comes to what constitutes a Gibson girl hairstyle, and of course, it would depend on a given woman’s hair length/texture etc. What I described was simpler, more like the picture on the left, but what I ended up drawing was more like the one on the right, which is so beautiful, and I’m obsessed with how the drawing turned out.

As for Sybil, who I imagine to be more on the masculine end of the fashion spectrum- I wanted her to have a Marlene Dietrich moment (for those unaware, Marlene Dietrich was a singer/actress who was very popular in the WWII era and was known for her bending of gender roles and her queerness). Once again, I’m being anachronistic- Marlene Dietrich and her iconic menswear wouldn’t be a thing until decades later, but I can pretty much guarantee that lesbians have been wearing tuxedos for as long as tuxedos have existed.

Madame LaChance’s shop is called Chanceux en Amour. That’s French for ‘lucky in love’ and since Madame’s name is literally ‘lady luck’, I thought it fit. Women have been seamstresses, both domestically and commercially, for centuries, but for a long time, they did all the labour and reaped none of the benefits. So yeah, this is a women-owned business, baby! We love to see it.

As we know by now, Madame is not only a friend of Sybil and Simeon’s but is connected to Ciel and Sebastian as well. I like to think she treats those boys a little like dolls, like if she comes up with some insane design she wants to try, she’ll test it on them. I swear to God I must have been a fashion/costume designer in another life because I’m obsessed with describing/drawing outfits for my characters in everything always.

I am so incredibly proud of these ones. Ciel and Sebastian are known by their employees and patrons only as the Raven and the Phoenix (I referred in TTEOE to Ciel being like a phoenix and it stuck oops) and I wanted them to have stupid, extravagant outfits to reflect that.

Anyway, yes, Sebastian is wearing thigh-high boots, and yes, you bet they’re the stiletto heels he wears whenever he’s in his true form and we only see his feet! Ciel is in heels too, lol, he would have to be to keep up with Sebastian at all.

I am in love with the idea of the two of them creating this whole mysterious persona around themselves, and I’m a sucker for a masquerade. Ciel’s outfit (the sleeves in particular) was inspired by Shakespearean costumes- I’m a big fan of theatre and Shakespeare and I love when characters in stories have an element of mystery and performance to them. Ciel is nobility, so he’s used to garnering a certain level of attention and respect from the people around him, and I don’t think that would change now that he’s a demon but I also think he would like the element of anonymity that a mask gives him.

I’m a BIG fan of the 2004 Joel Schumacher Phantom of the Opera film (if you couldn’t tell by the way I described the theatre in this chapter, or the outfits I have everyone in). If you’re trying to imagine anything in this chapter, it’s all pretty much lifted directly from the aesthetic of that movie. And I was also listening to the 2013 Baz Luhrman Great Gatsby movie soundtrack when I was writing it too. Yeah yeah, it’s the 1900s not the 1920s but I have to get in the old-timey party mood somehow, and that soundtrack was hugely popular/ I had it on my iPod when I was a teenager and at the height of my Black Butler obsession so. They’re somehow kind of linked in my mind.

Le Cour de Corbeau literally translates to ‘the raven’s heart’ and what is Ciel if not Sebastian’s heart? I’m thinking of writing a one-shot spin-off once TTNBD is done that goes back and explores exactly how Sebastian and Ciel met Madame and ended up owning an entire nightclub. I don’t have the exact timeline of events planned out but I imagine it involved some sort of demonic shenanigans so it should be fun to come up with something.

The club is located in the Montmartre area of Paris, which was one of the main gathering areas of the queer community in Paris in the early twentieth century. Paris in general has been home to many underground gay clubs, salons, cafés and cabarets throughout history. Even to this day, it’s considered one of the queer capitals of the world. I knew I had to pay homage to the queer community in my fic, knowing Ciel and Sebastian were going to be living in Paris.

In chapter nine of To the End of Everything, I wrote a scene where the two of them snuck off from a ball to be together, and they danced in a quiet, dark room, and Ciel had a thought of some day being able to do it in the open. I was thinking of that when I decided to set a chapter in this club.

The scene with Lizzy and Sybil in the carriage on the way to the club was really tricky to write- it’s difficult to write a sort of coming out scene without being able to use any of the modern terminology we use now. I’m of the opinion that homosexuality was talked about in common society a lot more than the history books would have us believe. Humans have been having sex longer than we’ve been doing pretty much anything else, and that must count for something.

Lizzy and Sybil get to dance in this chapter! I spent a long time trying to find the right song for them, and I settled on Serenade for strings in C major my Pyotor Illyich Tchaikovsky. Tchaikozvky’s waltzes have this grandness to them, and they always make me feel like I’m being floated around on a cloud of air, which is how I wanted Lizzy to feel during this scene. I believe I’ve said this before, but music is very important to me and it inspires me greatly, and so I’m always finding ways to subtly work it into my writing.

Speaking of music- let’s talk about the scene with Madame’s performance- one of my favourite Sebaciel tropes is them having sex in semi-public places, during parties or in Ciel’s office or anywhere they might be discovered at any second so Ciel has to try to be quiet while Sebastian will try to make him get loud on purpose. There’s just something so utterly them about it. Also Sebastian leaving his gloves on. Enough said.

The song Madame is singing during this scene is from Mozart’s famous opera Don Giovanni, called Vedrai, Carino- specifically the aria from that scene. In that scene, one of the characters, Masetto, has been beaten up, and his fiancée, Zerlina, finds him and promises she can cure his wounds… with sex. It’s all cheeky double entendre and it’s very romantic and cute.

Here are the lyrics:

Come, come; if that's the worst, there's no great harm done.

Come with me home to supper,

And give your faithful promise, you'll nevermore be jealous;

Those bruises can be cured, where love is zealous.

Come, shall I tell thee,

How what befell thee,

Soon can be cured

By my potent charm?

No garden grows it,

Though it aboundeth,

Like furnace glows it,

Yet none 'twill harm,

All guard and cherish it:

Gold cannot buy it,

Say, wilt thou try it

Soft 'tis, and warm.

Has thy wit flown,

Hear, how it throbs within,

lays his hand on her heart

'Tis all thine own,

Ah, 'tis thine only

The melody is cheerful but lilting, and it builds and builds with a sort of heartbeat rhythm toward the end… I just thought it was perfect for this scene.

Sybil and Madame’s conversation was interesting to write. I realised part way through that I was writing an exchange with only original characters in it. I wasn’t sure how many people would really want to read a story with so much original character content, but the response to this story and especially the characters I’ve created has been wonderful and really touching. Being a writer is the most important thing in the world to me- someday I hope to have my own novels out in the world, so even a little bit of positive attention for the more original aspects of my fanfiction is a big encouragement.

Anyway, onto the next section of commentary, which is the scene between Alois and Claude.

I want to be clear- being a victim of sexual assault or child sexual abuse does not automatically turn you into the kind of person Alois is. It is completely possible for CSA victims to have normal, healthy relationships as adults. Alois, of course, was never in a safe enough space or had the necessary support system to heal from the trauma he endured. Instead, he ended up internalizing the abuse he experienced and convinced himself he was in control of it, that he was the one manipulating and using the old man, and that has led to him having a skewed perception of himself and his own sexuality, as well as an unhealthy relationship with sex in general.

The human mind will convince itself of all sorts of things in the pursuit of survival. People will cope however they can. There is no wrong way to survive. In Alois’s case, he sold his soul to a demon. Clearly, he has much different motivations and boundaries than a regular real-life person- and often in fiction, an unhealthy mind is much more interesting to write and read about, especially when there’s things like demons involved.

From the beginning of planning this story, I wanted Claude and Alois to have a super messy dynamic. I see Alois and Claude as a narrative foil to Ciel and Sebastian- the same dynamic, a young aristocrat and his demon butler, but taken to the opposite extreme conclusion. The same devotion, obsession, even attraction, but inverted- reluctant, resentful, but no less intense and inescapable. Where Sebastian is loyal, Claude is treacherous, but he is no less drawn to Alois, if only because of the contract between them.

Alois and Claude’s dynamic as I write it is this: Alois may be the master, and he may think he is in control, but he will always get more than he bargains for when it comes to Claude. Of course, I’m writing this commentary months after this chapter came out, and I’ve pushed that dynamic even further in subsequent chapters.

As to how it will end between them- well, you’ll have to wait and see.

On to the climatic title moment of the chapter, the countdown to the new year and the new century: I was just a little kid in 1999, so my memories are vague. I remember some stuff about the Y2K scare (for those of you younger than I am who don’t know what I’m talking about, you can google it, I’m not going off on a tangent here 😆. Anyway, I imagine the coming of a new century must be really exciting, more so than any other new year celebration, because it’s far rarer.

And of course, what better moment to kiss a girl you like for the first time than at such a classic, traditional moment? There’s something so gripping about the turning of the year, that moment when it feels like everything is about to change even though it really isn’t. It gives that same sort of exhilarating feeling as kissing someone for the first time. Kissing someone for the first time is terrifying too, but it’s also amazing.

Of course, things are about to go sideways for Lizzy, so she’s not going to get to experience any of what normally comes after such a thing, at least not for a while.

I like to imagine Ciel and Sebastian standing up on that balcony, looking down into the street over the crowds and the fireworks, and Ciel’s jaw just dropping when he sees Lizzy kissing Sybil. Lizzy?? Kissing a girl?? He’s not jealous or anything, obviously, but it must have been quite a shock for him, it’s no wonder he was staring.

CHAPTER FOUR-POINT-FIVE: INTERLUDE; AULD LANG SYNE

There are going to be a few interludes throughout this fic- they’re really just chapters on they’re own, but they’re shorter parts that feel like they need to stand on their own. Also, I like the word ‘interlude’ and wanted an excuse to feel fancy.

Auld Lang Syne is of course a quite well-known (at least in my neck of the woods) Scottish folk song that people typically sing at New Year’s. it was originally a poem written in the Scots dialect by poet Robert Burns, written in 1788, but he said himself that he had “taken it down from an old man”. The first verse and chorus can be directly attributed to a 1711 folk song by James Watson, the rest being attributed to Burns himself. Watson’s original stanza and refrain are the most memorable of the song’s lyrics:

Should Old Acquaintance be forgot,

and never thought upon;

The flames of Love extinguished,

and fully past and gone:

Is thy sweet Heart now grown so cold,

that loving Breast of thine;

That thou canst never once reflect

On old long syne.

Chorus:

On old long syne my Jo,

On old long syne,

That thou canst never once reflect,

On old long syne.

The phrase “auld lang syne” can be translated to mean “old long since”, but in a more general sense just means “times long past”. The phrase “for auld lang syne” can me taken to mean “for the sake of old times”. The song, while generally sung at the stroke of midnight at the new year, can also be used as a general farewell- it’s about remembering the past while moving toward the future. It’s been sung at graduations, funerals, and other such events for this reason.

Thematically, it’s perfect for where we’re at in the story. “Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never thought upon” is sort of an inverse of what’s happening- Lizzy still thinks of Ciel often, and Ciel has just had his past brought back to him despite having moved on from it. “Is thy sweet love now grown so cold, that loving Breast of thine; that thou canst never once reflect on old lang syne?” Has Ciel really lost all attachment to his past- does he really care so little what happens to the people he once cared about that he can’t even be bothered to look back, or to literally go back to his old life in some sense?

Alois is hungover and yet somehow still a little horny- there’s not too much to say about it other than OOF. I always have more fun writing Claude’s inner monologue anyway (I hate him so much but it’s so fun to write him), so the scene at the breakfast table where he makes the comment about Ciel not having the butler Alois does really tickle me. I love when characters throw shade at each other without realising what they’re saying. And the fact that Alois has to go around solving crimes and blames Ciel for it despite never having met him? Delightful. What a whiny bitch he is.

Abberline is the boss man now, and he’s doing his whole strong man though guy in charge routine, but he can’t fool me. He’s just a little guy. Still, though, it’s not great that someone leaked stuff to the press- it’s almost like whoever did it wants to cause a panic and make sure that the message gets sent to someone… I wonder what it could mean?

I don’t actually know if the London news would be published in Paris so quickly. I’m probably stretching historical accuracy to its breaking point haha, but like I always remind myself, I’m the only one who cares about stuff like that, and it’s my story anyway so ultimately, I can do whatever I want!

Ciel and Sebastian would be walking down the street holding hands if it was allowed. They’re so gross and domestic in this story and I’m not even sorry. Thinking about them going to a café in the morning and sitting looking at the paper and people-watching while Ciel eats a mountain of sugary treats and Sebastian drinks his coffee- I am often inclined to think about little else. I promise that when all of this is over, they will go back to doing that. But the main plot of the story has finally caught up with them.

“Would you hate me terribly if I said I wanted to go back to London?”

“I would hate you terribly if you pretended you did not.”

One of the things Sebastian loves most about Ciel is how unapologetic he is about the things he wants. Ciel’s motives as a human were never about being good- only about serving his family’s name, which was an obligation as well as a desire, but also about revenge, about going to any extent to achieve his goals. People so often sacrifice their dreams or wants for the sake of others, or for the sake of politeness, or decency- but Ciel was never like that. In a lot of ways, Ciel is a selfish person, self-indulgent and stubborn and a lot of other things people normally don’t like. So how could a demon like Sebastian not love him?

For the record, I love Ciel also. I call him selfish and stubborn and indulgent and all of these somewhat negative things, but I mean it affectionately. He’s a pretty little bastard and I love him so much. I think he should get everything he asks for and be allowed to do whatever he wants forever. (Me 🤝 Sebastian).

Okay so. I had to kill someone. There had to be a murder to bring Ciel and Sebastian back to London. It wasn’t going to be Lizzy that dies, obviously, but who else could it have been that would have made Ciel even remotely interested? I didn’t want to kill one of Lizzy’s parents, they’re useful characters to have around. Not Abberline- he’s even more important. So, Edward was the natural choice. I don’t think Ciel liked Edward at all- Edward certainly didn’t like him- but neither do I. Or rather, I don’t really have any feelings for Edward as a character whatsoever- he’s so minor. So murdered it is. The more important part is HOW he was murdered, obviously, but the fact that the victim is someone connected to Ciel’s past is also important.

RIP Edward Midford, thanks for your sacrifice to the plot. You will not be forgotten.

I think Lizzy and Sybil would have probably gotten together that day if Edward hadn’t have died and sent Lizzy on a whole new emotional arc. So maybe actually Edward, fuck you for getting murdered and keeping your sister from getting some. And fuck me for writing it that way I guess 😅

Anyway, that’s all for now! I’m on hiatus right now, and I’m working on the outline for the final arc of the story, and also trying to catch up on these. I’m probably going to start grouping chapters together in posts. There ended up being so many more chapters in this story than I originally planned. See you again soon!

[mamahersh]

Alrighty everyone, time for my thoughts on the last 3 eps of the Magnus Archives. I’ll post my thoughts on S5 and the series as a whole in a separate post, to be made either later today or potentially tomorrow.

This got really long, so I’ll put it under a Read More so I don’t clutter your dash.

TL;DR: loved the ending, had a thought or two; and look forwards to one more post where I basically write my thoughts on the series either later today or tomorrow!

So, MAG 198: Yes, that edge of the cliff fear is definitely rather unsubtle. Particularly in regards to their imminent choice. Also, have to say, I think Jon is entitled to being a little bitch about the cliff domain when he had to deal with a free fall domain via Mike Crew back in season 3. It is morbidly amusing that when Martin hears that his choices are: jump off the cliff to my pseudo death now or jump off the cliff after Jon talks at length about how terrifying watching people jump off the cliff is, he takes the jump immediately option. Listen, I’m sure Jon would have too if he had a choice, but alas Eye is hungee and Jon’s gotta be the mouth for a bit.

Also, big sad that the cultists all got stolen again while Georgie and Melanie had to listen to their screams.

MAG 199: You know they actually discussed that far more than I thought they were going to. So a misnomer that I’ve picked up on in fanfiction is that I thought there would be a less even handed evaluation of the situation. However, Basira did a good job at forcing everyone to discuss all possible avenues of discussion. However, I find it interesting that Basira draws the line at deliberate mass murder. That sounds terrible out of context I will admit, but up until this point she’s been rather willing to entertain a rather wide selection of options when it boils down to difficult choices. But in this one instance when given the choice between basically committing mass euthanasia/genocide and passively letting people suffer till their “natural” end she refuses to entertain the idea that the first is even an option. And she’s been keeping “just let an entire world of people suffer for an incomprehensible amount of time till the End finally finds them” on the table next to the other amazing /s option “send the horror terrors to upwards of infinite alternate universes to wreak havoc on unprepared innumerable numbers of people”. Just, it’s interesting is all.

On a different note, the Web is getting in a final “fuck you” at Jon with the web lighter by subtly pushing Georgie to borrow it by pulling on her old smoking addiction since I guess none of the others had one presumably. Plus, “Can I have a cigarette” is a nice call back to the first episode with the Anglerfish.

Also, Would like to throw down with Martin over his self-esteem. Thoroughly disagree that they were incompatible without the spooky trauma. I think if they had met before Jon was given power in the Archives, or if someone else had been Archivist while they both were Archival Assistants, I fully think they could have at least been friends. Just because you trauma bond with someone doesn’t mean you wouldn’t have bonded with them otherwise.

I would also like to formally welcome Traumatized Jon™ back to the show for one last hurrah. Is it terrible to say that I missed him? He does bring up good points, even if everyone seems to disagree.

AND FINALLY MAG 200.

I’ve heard the ending I think once or twice already, but I had never heard the origin of the Fears story before. I guess it’s still ambiguous if the Fears were still technically a shitty chain e-mail, but at least in the way that it’s framed it mostly seems like they originated in that universe. Particularly since it started as an amorphous blob and then evolved from there versus how they were sent out as a fractured, netted thing that even if you dissolved it down would still hold some “sharp edges” as it were. Gotta admit though, nice to know that at least on some level the plan worked. The Fears were completely removed, all powers were gone, and people were able to get back to how it was before the Change. A part of me wants to know what happened to Simon Fairchild, but then again it’s far more horrifying if you don’t fill in the blanks on that. Also have to love the ambiguous ending for our two fave blorbos. Jon and Martin, sent to the cosmos with the Fears, destination Unknown. The ending definitely fit, it didn’t seem like anyone acted too out of character to make the ending happen the way it did.

Admittedly with that said, I think the way I worded that opens it up to my thoughts that will go in the long post later. Thank you all for joining me on my journey the last like... week and a half? as I listened to MAG 150-200 in preparation for the big day tomorrow. See you all again soon!

[vashhanamichi]

Sorry if I am bothering you with all my asks. For the Get to know your fic author. 3, 5, 16 and 22.

You're not bothering me at all! Thank you for your patience and I apologize for taking long to answer!

3) Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic

Hmmm ok, this is an interesting one. I usually know where I'm going, but, like Frodo carrying the ring, I do not know the path. I feel like I'm following a scent. I try not to depend so much on fickle inspiration, otherwise I'd write even less frequently than I do now. An idea usually blossoms from a single scene, a prompt, a poem, a song -- with Hologhost it was: What would be the ideal Eden for Harry? And what if that Eden was hiding a horror? From there I try to reign in the characters so they'll heed me, but sometimes they get out of control. This happened with Mary Magdalene, which has expanded beyond its original borders. In the core of most my fics there's a very urgent desire best translated by Kazuo Ishiguro: “But in the end, stories are about one person saying to another: This is the way it feels to me. Can you understand what I’m saying? Does it feel this way to you?” I focus so much on Voldemort because I feel like he's the greatest waste of potential of the Harry Potter series. So it's more like: this is how he could be to me. What is it like to you? Fanfiction is a very social form of writing imo. So in my fics I'm always trying to begin a conversation with another fan. This is how I would transform these characters -- does that make sense to you?

5) Do you like constructive criticism? Yes! I think it's very important. I just don't like the "goodreads" culture of the internet, the booktok/book twitter/booktube variations of would-be-critics. To be a good critic I think you also need to be a good reader and many of those aren't.

16) How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

........eleven. In the Harry Potter fandom. That I wrote down the summary of. Not counting the many WIPs and the ones I didn't bother to write down.

I wish @metalomagnetic would ease my burden and adopt some of my ideas. Alas, I haven't been able to convince or blackmail her yet. One of my ideas involves Harry enlisting Grindelwald in his battle against Voldemort. Fight fire with fire type of thinking. Needless to say, Gellert has his own agenda.

22) Are there certain types of writing you won’t do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc) I think it depends on the prompt and the context. I've been surprised by fics before that had plots and tropes and ships that I had turned my nose on before. I have a hard time finding non-magical AUs interesting for example, but who knows?

thank you so much for the ask!

[zee-has-commitment-issues]

zee i’m BEGGING for your dark and mysterious backstory

*sigh*

Alright. I had to ask my girlfriend's advice, but alright.

Everyone settle in. Get some popcorn. This shit is long, and it is batshit. There are five people that know the entire story. Me, the other person it involves, my girlfriend, Dani, and my other best friend who we lovingly refer to on this blog as "the golden retriever." My therapist also knows, but we don't really count that. But that is it. That is everyone who has ever gotten to know.

There should probably be trigger warnings on this, but I don't even know what it could possibly be for. So like TW for mentions of suicide, inappropriate minor-adult relationships, death threats and probably a few other things.

I used to be very involved in the Harry Potter fandom. And some of the fandom still brings me comfort, and I do love a lot of the fan-made content that JK Trolling has nothing to do with. I, however, cannot consume Harry Potter content in the same way I used to after this story, and I'm sure you'll see why.

Now, if y'all were involved in the Harry Potter community on TikTok in 2020, you probably heard about Golden Boy. It was a Fred Weasley fanfiction, for those of you who have no idea what I am talking about. It was... explicit, to say the least.

It was a Fred Weasley sex novel. I'm not even going to try to sugarcoat it. It was a very explicit sex novel.

I heard about it through TikTok, like most people did. The author was named Samine, and she had a pretty decent following on TikTok (150K when I found her I think) and she had a very large reading (about 2 million people when I found it). It was kind of a trend on Harry Potter TikTok to read GB and record your reactions, so I did that. She liked the video and commented on it and that was the first time I interacted with Samine.

I was 16. She was 21.

It was during quarantine, so I didn't have much to do, so I started working on an art piece. I drew one of the original characters from her story. I sent it to her and said "hey I made this. You probably won't see this but thank you for the inspiration" and the whole thing, you know?

Well, she did see it, and that began my very long relationship with the author of Golden Boy.

She asked if she could post it on her Instagram, and add it to the beginning of her new chapter, and of course I said yes. She had almost 200k followers on TikTok and 40k on Instagram and 3 and a half million readers and I was sitting there with my 2000 followers, so of course I said yes. I did not expect the reaction I got. I gained a shit ton of followers overnight and people wanted more art, so I started making more.

Now, here's where it gets a little shady. Samine was 21. She asked me to lie about my age because of the nature of her story. Being the naïve little 16-almost-17-year-old that I was, I, of course, said yes. I told people I was 17 almost 18 for over a year.

I started getting some hate. People kept saying it looked like I was making my headshots on ArtBreeder, but we cleared it up quickly by posting a video of my process and it mostly went to rest. I still got some mean messages, but it wasn't too bad and Samine told me not to worry about it because she "got way worse."

It should have been a red flag, but alas.

After like 5 headshots (unpaid, even though they took 15 hours each, of course) she asked if I would be her official artist. And, again, I said yes without a second thought. We started an Official Golden Boy Art Instagram account, and we started getting followers on there. Her following grew on all platforms, her readership getting to about 14 million reads at some point, and mine was steadily growing as well. I was really excited.

At this point, "Zee" was born. I was going by my actual name, and it just wasn't working anymore. People were finding me, and my friends, and my family. It was uncomfortable. It was scary. I started going by Zee so fewer people would find that shit out about me, but it still happened and if you look back far enough on any of my social medias, you'll find my real name. People found my school. My High School. Someone called my school and pretended to be my mom.

Samine started talking to me about some really personal things. Her mental health, her issues with her family, her sex life. (again, I was underage the entire time I worked under Samine) We had a friendship, as well as a work relationship. Which, I suppose, is why I did thousands of hours of work for her unpaid. Each headshot could take anywhere from 15 to 30 hours and I normally charged for them, but I didn't with her, and they took up way too much of my time, so I couldn't really do commissions anymore. I didn't care. I had a following, and I was getting brand deals and it was super cool.

Then things started to take a turn. There were people who had found details in GB that were... less than politically correct. There were some racist undertones, some mlm fetishization, and some blurred lines of consent. Some of it could be explained away with author ignorance and at that point I was convinced I knew Samine enough to let her explain it all away.

That did not stop death threats to both of us and she got doxxed, but oh well.

She took the story down at 20M and started rewriting it. The whole time she was telling me about her mental health, her family drama, her sex life and romantic relationships. I would like to put here that she had a gf and was telling me every detail about how they sexted and shit. It wasn't uncomfortable at the time, but looking back, I want to smack myself across the face.

She reposted the fic after a rewrite, and it was met with mixed reviews. Some people were happy to have it back. Some people were still upset with Samine (FOR OBVIOUS AND VALID REASONS) and some people were just finding out about everything for the first time. And, once again, people found problems in Samine's writing. This time it couldn't be boiled down to ignorance. Because she had been told at this point. It wasn't ignorance anymore.

She was doxxed again. Hacked. Someone was like dead set on making sure she didn't have a platform (and honestly she probably shouldn't have had one). There were like "fandom wars" and stuff. People were defending Samine and people were ripping her to shreds. People were in my DMs every day saying shit and at one point I had to post something saying that I wouldn't be answering or reading any more of them because I was getting too many threats.

I was called... awful things. Things I cannot repeat here. I didn't have anything to do with the fic except the art and the "marketing" for the rewrite but I was friends with Samine, and that was close enough for them. It was really bad. My mental health suffered. But I was more focused on Samine's mental health because she had told me before that she was suicidal.

When Samine went offline for a few days at a time without notice, I was looking up obituaries for her hometown. That's how scared she made me for her. Every time something went wrong, or we disagreed, or I told her she did something ignorant, she brought up the fact that she was suicidal.

Please keep in mind I WAS SIXTEEN AND SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD.

So, one day, when I was with Dani and Golden Retriever, I got a text that say "{her real name} died. She killed herself last night." And I believed it. Because I didn't have any reason not to.

It became a really big thing. I had like 5,000 unanswered DMs when I opened Instagram (it had been a few hours because me, Dani and Golden Retriever were on a day-road-trip), the GB account was blowing up, someone was posting on Samine's account. I got in contact with a few of our other GB "team members" and let them know what was going on. Because I was the Official Artist, they believed what I told them.

THEN Samine's ex-gf texted me and was like "hey, the bitch isn't dead."

When I tell you Dani, Golden Retriever and I were baffled.

But, sure enough, she was posting on twitter all merry and shit. So I texted her on her actual phone instead of Instagram and she answered. I'd spent like 12 hours crying into Dani's shoulder about this bitch being dead and she literally wasn't. She was alive. She was fine.

Samine pretended she didn't know what was going on. She said she got hacked (by a stalker she had conveniently never told me about before). She had me post her statements to the Official Account while she "worked on getting her account back."

Samine eventually "got her accounts back" but decided the drama surrounding GB wasn't worth it and she abandoned the fic. She abandoned her account. She abandoned me.

Turns out: BITCH NEVER HAD A HACKER OR A STALKER. SHE FAKED HER OWN DEATH. FAKED HER RESURRECTION TOO.

She left me alone to deal with the fallout of it all. I still get hundreds of DMs a week asking about if GB is coming back. I have abandoned the GB account, mostly abandoned my original account from before GB and cut ties with all things Harry Potter.

I literally cannot watch Harry Potter anymore. It sends me into a panic. It hurts me. I also don't make art anymore. It feels wrong. For a very long time, I also didn't write because Samine had convinced me that I would never write as good as she did.

I know I didn't do anything, really. I was a kid, and I was being manipulated, just like all of her followers were. I still feel extremely guilty for being part of something that hurt so many people.

I don't know how the fuck I managed to get through it. I was seventeen and receiving death threats for drawing pretty pictures. I was seventeen and reading explicit private messages from a 21/22 year old. I was seventeen and lying about my age so people wouldn't call her out about her inappropriate relationship with me.

I made a few good friends from it. I met my gf because of it. I am literally bonded for life with Dani and Golden Retriever because they are equally traumatized from the day that we all thought Samine had "died."

I find the good in it because it's all I have.

At the height of GB I had about 15k followers on Instagram (more on tik tok and other platforms). I'm down to about 2k now on the Instagram I use, and I am more than happy with that.

So, when someone said earlier that I was "famous" and I said no it is because I know what it's like to be an "influencer" in a fandom, and this is not it. When asked if I would start drama for fun, and I said no, it is because I've dealt with that shit before against my will and it is not fun.

That is my dark fandom past. I feel guilty for it, even though I shouldn't. I'm fucking traumatized from some of the dms I got over the year and a half I was working on that fic.

Overall, YR is better. My 1000 unhinged tumblr followers are better. I am very content to never do a brand deal again.

[kingthunder]

Ever since I was a little kid inhaling books off the sf/f shelves at the local library ten at a time, I wanted to be an author.

I put that desire on hold for decades. Not because I didn't want to do it, but because I was one of those gifted-track ADHD kids who internalized the whole idea of, "if at first you don't succeed, the lesson is never try—then they won't know you're skating through everything by the skin of your teeth and are actually incompetent." It took me until I was in my 30s to undo that mentality. It seems like real kindergarten stuff to realize that if you want to get better at something you have to practice. All I can say in my defense is that my own father used to tell me repeatedly, and very smugly, that only losers who aren't good at stuff have to practice, and that we (him and me) were winners who didn't have to do things like that.

(I also think that he has ADHD, and that he cultivated that own mentality in himself to make himself feel better about also lacking executive function, but if I told him that he would dismiss the thought before I was even done getting it out of my mouth. alas.)

Sometime between my middle school dreams and the crushing weight of the undiagnosed health problems of my 20s, I stopped reading. Books, anyway. I would read fanfiction in spurts. A few months here, a few months there, just when a particular fandom was calling to me. So when I finally got over my own infuriating blend of superiority/inferiority and decided to start practicing writing, it was with fanfiction. It made sense to me. I liked reading it. It gave me the benefit of having pre-made characters and settings, so I didn't have to learn how to create those things and learn the mechanics of storytelling at the same time. Plus, I'd have a readership already. Wins all around.

It went well! I look back at the stuff I wrote when I was first starting, and compare it to now, and the progress is clear (to me, at any rate). I still want to get better, of course, I don't think I'll ever want to stop getting better, but it turns out that practicing works.

My problem now is that...I don't how to move back to published fiction. I just really love writing fanfiction, and I really love reading it, and trying to pivot away from that and into the realm of published stuff sucks, actually. I'm constantly checking books out of the library, reading one, ten, fifty pages, and setting them aside out of boredom or anger. It's almost impossible to find anything that holds my interest enough to finish. It's like the genre of book I want to read only exists as fanfiction.

Meanwhile, I'm bashing my head against a wall trying to make myself start writing original fiction that I could possibly publish. I've managed a little of it. I've taken classes. Applied for some workshops I didn't get into. Won one flash contest and got the dinky little 300 word story published in an anthology. But every word is like pulling teeth. It's agony.

And I'm asking myself why, about all of it. I don't like reading books; what made me think I'd like writing them? Like obviously I'm not having a good time writing them. I'm frustrated to the point of tears constantly when I realize I've gone yet another week with nothing more than brainstorming stories I didn't write a single word of. But I don't want to give up either, because giving up on this means giving up on the one goal I've ever set for myself in my entire life, and it feels too much like giving in to the "you're actually incompetent" brain demon.

Persisting feels like pain, but giving up feels like numbness, and I'd rather hurt.

There's no point to this blog post. This isn't a feel-good essay with a breakthrough or lesson at the end. I have no neat narrative ends to tie up. I'm just screaming into the outer void, because screaming into the inner void hasn't been doing me a crumb of good. Thanks for listening. I'm going to go back to staring at en empty word doc and feeling guilty for not typing anything into it.

[moonartemisia]

Moriarty the Patriot Fanfiction: Crown of The Night || Arc I: Silence Endeavour

Fanfiction written by Elise

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Moriarty the Patriot/Yuukoku no Moriarty franchise and it’s characters, but the original character under this story for imaginative and creative attribution within the storyline. Owners of this series goes to Ryousuke Takeuchi for the plot alongside with Hikaru Miyoshi for the illustrations. Based on the original Sherlock Holmes series by Arthur Conan Doyle and Ian Fleming’s James Bond series giving a crossover dynamic between the two famous stories. All rights reserved respectively.

WARNINGS: THE FOLLOWING STORY MAY CONTENT NSFW MAINLY GORE, TORTURE, HARSH LANGUAGE AND OTHER ANGST OR SENSITIVE ASPECTS THAT DRIVEN WITHIN THE VICTORIAN ERA. AS MUCH AS THE AUTHOR WOULD TRY HARD TO DEPICT IT’S REVELANT SOCIETY ON THE PARTICULAR TIME. PLEASE READ IT AT YOUR OWN RISK.

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐈𝐈: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬

Daybreak begins to foil the cracking rays of Durham. Birds twittered merrily through the veneer spring winds. The green pastures passed muster pleasantly, and cattle behaved, feasting their stacks of hays and grass; abidance is the key to all nurturing needs. That's what the spirit settles today. In a beak of its glass windows, seen with a weaved robe worn— flashes upon, crimson eyes shone in a brief sentiment through the awakened sunlight, darted by the uplifting sky blue clouds. Hands were calm, scuffling digits scaffolding to be standing against the upfront living room. His lips— were sealed as relaxed for the sunrise to shine its full glory that would bring soreness to his eyes.

What awaits an adequate; equilibrium for the known master and his serving breakfast goes earlier than was planned.

Chisel with his tipping chin of smiles. His reflection looked upon a figure— prepping tea to his delight.

"You're up early, dear brother."

"And so you are, William... just in time to stare at the sunrise for your tea."

"I'd never fetch you before you could see me standing— awake, I'd suppose you wondered."

A fellow sibling shook his assertions, amusing to his delight, "Gracefully. You know how I come to see you awake quite a time..."

"Well, tea is a spot for my comfort... you made for me, thank you, Louis," he whispered his appreciation to him. Sitting down comfortably at his embarked velvet sofa, tugging his arse by the cushions with his spine postures perfectly well— a pipping cup by his hand as he took a sip.

William enamoured thoughts— through his reflection by the spot of tea. Eyes suddenly became misty— somehow relatively a new mimic mystery. Not mimic, but something to decipher.

"Have you checked at the other bank we brought in with our banknotes the other time we deposited? Louis?"

"Yes, Lilibark Uniondale? Is it, brother? What brings?" Louis asked calmly as he seamlessly bridged his glasses; properly.

"I assume the deposits you asked for were transferred there for transactions. Because the other bank you mastered nearly put a scare." He added, remembering the constructed plan of his brother at the previous event— hurdled many citizens.

"Alas, indeed..." it was never scorned to William's ideas that would create a toll of concussion, giggling about how no one has spoken of it since.

Lilibark Uniondale, a pristine bank afoot near their manor, is acknowledged as an estate owned by a known noble. The Hemsworth of Yorkshire. People ought to think they have an abundance of pennies to mention such; feasible enough with negotiable credentials. A handful of clerks, accountants, and staff were inside. Amongst them, priorities are the profitability and standard of financial shares, including assurance— a fortune. A modern strategy of monetary gains and investments lives taught nowadays. Which is the majority seizes to switch their profits. William adhered to the addresses, consequently. He did exchange good benefits from the stakes, as heard. Approved a new account to pursue demands of income. Observed— how keenly managed a prospect this bank can handle. Much to his curiousness. He still needs to learn more about the bank's background. Especially the owner who goes to their word of: "enabling both statuses to open their accounts." Merely gestures are a hint that made the mastermind indulge in deducing details.

"I'm certain they quoted 'enabling both statuses to open their accounts' means a bunch of definitions."

"Come again, brother?"

"No—," William heaved a sigh. Earth to his mumbling thoughts spoken out of his way.

There must be a hidden agenda to that remark.

"I have an order for you, Louis. Please bring Bond, Moran, and Fred along. All of you are in charge of checking my warranty today. The queue is today's due."

Chimes his morning smile— the blonde coveted his hands tucked in place of comfort. "For now, it's still early. I must nod off..."

"Very well. Don't be a bit laid off as you need much time to regain, awaken."

While the sun peaked through— alas, Louis followed suit with his older brother's chore. Him, departing the rest of the reports in his hands. He fetched his gang as ordered. There— meeting down the halls: a tall, stoic figure who stood above six feet. Former colonel Sebastian Moran. He dressed formally and eloquently to go to the bank just as in the previous event. Fred Porlock, a young lad of his awareness. Personal assistance, a messenger boy to his master, and espionage. He composes stumbling a brilliant disguise to form tricks as needed.

"Only you two? My word, where is Mr Bond? Have you called him?"

"He was with the old hag earlier. Maybe I should—"

Before the colonel could even fetch the other, there was a screeching halt below the polished floors. A loud incoming presence— upon their eyes met a panting blonde, hooking his grey coat. Effortlessly, he brushes his hair, fixing his ilk.

"Apologies, almost late as you would try to fetch me, Moran! So, are we ready?"

Louis reacted, eyes a bit hankering in a blunt manner. Thus, the blonde saw scratching the back of his head.

"I'll explain further details after an errand, Mr Louis. I'm sorry it took a minute or two. Let's go on." 

The four left the manor as they wad towards the stakes— in the meets of the new bank estate. Lilibark Uniondale Bank. Walking passed a busy civilization of people, Durham is a straightforward society; people prefer to go by this location for solace and desires. Much not likely to compare London's dirty and busy environment. A place where the brothers would stay lay low from aside the capital.

When they arrived at the entrance— the bank's architecture was massive and articulate; the opening was remarkable. It is likely those in ancient Greece. The five pillars were sculpted and designed in Greek Corinthian patterns. On top of the pillars was altered. As the layouts of objects were replaced and stood up, a carved coat of arms was. Even at a glance— the top gate frames have a similar design. Their representation? Glancing at the outlines and objects of the coat of arms were significantly detailed through the inner corners and openings. These spotted the attraction of the people, probably alluding that the Hemsworths might have artistic connections.

They're putting in a lot of dignity and settlement for creating such a bank, as Louis was familiar with the structures. He's been here with William occasionally. It is to affirm the Hemsworths are reputable, judging by their stakes.

So much so that they're countless people coiling around to see more than what this bank carries. Hence, the four trek through, sighting every corner of the place. Impeccable.

"They have a lot to show", Louis pondered.

Not to mention every place feels as if it lies on its name. Namesake? Quite an ordeal— coming from them.

"No additional checking at the vault? Or wait? What did Will advise you to take us here?"

Bond promptly asked the other blonde, who turned at the centre, pausing his trace.

"Just the deposits he told me. There must be a queue around here. I'll go by the other departments. While I need you both patiently get in line."

Louis commands Bond and Fred to take the queue, whereas he and Moran will stroll the bank's area. This place is instead uniquely unseen, yet seemingly not.

"Alright then, we will go to the queue. Have fun "busying" the stroll."

Bond waved to them— then whistled at the place, "Wow, I never thought coming to a bank this fancy, don't you think so? Fred?"

"Agreed, it is. Now, where is the queue?"

They begin scanning the centre floor. Eyes watching every section they go as spying binoculars everywhere they're searching. Until Bond quipped to what he saw, the queue— immediately he and Fred found the deposit branch. A few people were designated as follows.  Astounding and manageable— the line of people is intact. They weren't packed and patiently waiting in line to get a call from a registrar. Through the counter where clients are accepting their deposits neatly. Well-reserved mannerisms, service, and eloquence towards time.

"I think they minister with a lot of professionalism. How properly do they work in such a prestige bank? Good worth? Hm, fascinating."

"I do quite have the same opinion as you, Fred. Maybe the bosses fed them well." Within the tone of jokes, the agent pulled aside his friend, chuckling.

"Come, I think we should be in line— they aren't many lads here."

The two gentlemen started walking straight towards the counter. Both Bond and Fred were greeted; with a bow. The blonde veered his fedora upwards, a polite nature fleeting to his gesture.

"Good day, Miss. May I request a check-up deposit?"

"To whom you're checking?"

"William James Moriarty?"

Heeded the registrar, she flitted to her post to see if the warrants scaffold was available to write for later. Louis has instructed him beforehand. He can authorize the cost of the signature in William's favour. Good to take notice as the two of them grin at each other while they wait.

"Here is the deposit you asked for— read first the fulfilment pay before you sign your contract; below right." The registrar broke their silence until a hand extended setting on a piece of paper, giving it gently to Bond for him to inscribe.

Bond reaches out a pen. That is positioned next to him over the counter. He jots his name below where it has written "signature" under the lines. Now, it is time to take the money.

"Oh, I see that you're done. Thank you for the assistance."

"Louis, you came! How was the tour?"

"Simply fine, I've got so much to chatter about what we found, is it Moran?"

I shall also report this to my brother. He probably has more presumptions to add later. There's a definite hunch about this.

Besides Louis, his partner, Colonel Moran— stood with his arms crossed between his pectorals, quietly nodding.

"Here, the money is sealed by this envelope."

Upon receiving the parched envelope, from afar, a herd of noise evoked the whole area. It alarmed the gang to turn overheads witnessing a man shouting at one of the accountants through the counters. Faces stand framed to be calmed yet in compulsory reactions. Judging by the man's behaviour, in particular. Louis thought of chaotic trouble.

I guess this is something scandalous in a public space like this. He concluded.

"Where the bloody hell are my banknotes? You probably snatched it all!"

"Please, sir, remain in your senses. We will inform our employers about this situation. If you must refrain yourself—"

"I have no time for waiting! Do you simply think that my impatience will test me?! This is the last check I had to go to! My blood is boiling with rage— you all must pay!"

The four were left with nothing to help the commotion down. Louis eyed the man's temper at the workers, as this could cost big problems. Uproar in inconvenience made the rest of the crowd look. His heart was beating horribly at an abrupt scene.

"Oh God— shall we help them, Louis?"

Asked Bond, worrying it might cause a quarrel.

"If we are to help, then..."

"I believe if you raise a fist or voice within this stake or to my workers. I'll handle you to the Yard for interrogation."

Words shunned— someone came. To a surprise, the voice hollered was coming from a woman standing between the man. Whom just passed towards; a demure and prominent lady intruded on their talk. Closely seeing her debating against a diminutive issue.

"Heh, and who are you to butt in, madame?"

"If you want the banknotes, I'll pay what you wanted as regard. I'm the one who is in charge. Now, please we shall talk about this privately with my employee. Just as long as you don't violate my policies. Are we clear?"

"Tch, a woman like you shouldn't be upheld. But, since you have quite an attraction— I will be kind to slide this off."

"My charms aren't worthy of your displayed desires." Spatted the woman as she stealth on her profession.

"Whatever you say so, tch. Your bank doesn't hold profitable accountability. So, be it with your words."

A scoundrel buff infuriated man stormed off, completely. Rest assured about the cases of rumours indulging inside. The woman from earlier who stood up to the employees bowed for an apology.

"My sincerest apology for my clients as it went inconveniently. We will try to break down this issue that happened. Please, thank you for choosing our services."

Turmoil has been lessening much to the lady's dismay. It brought me to the moment when the gang saw her stand up just now; a scoring one. This inflicted Louis and his group's peculiarities upon the woman, nevertheless. Her upbringing appears as it goes through her liberties.

"Who is she? I'm quite hesitant to approach her. That's a spirited ovation there." Said the blonde agent, an awed impression towards the lady.

"Maybe we can talk to her for once. If it's not much trouble, wouldn't it?" A glanced colonel spoke after him.

Louis follows a sigh, "Well, the least we could try."

"Excuse me, gentlemen. I see you all got a keen eye on me."

How did she notice—

"Pardon me for being rude. It was a catch that I already know."

"We may, sorry, if we ever made you feel uncomfortable—"

"Oh no, not to brag about it. However, I'm the heiress of this bank. If I'm not mistaken you guys saw what I did at that moment. Stressful, isn't it?"

She's very chattering, Louis described. Listening to her talk the incident occurred.

"Well, again I'm sorry."

"Not at all, I know clients can act mighty, demanding at some point— and entitled to their own will. You must not mind those people. We are only fetching errands here; a deposit."

The blonde remarked, stating his arrival alongside his group— all grinning at the lady's presence without interfering.

"Good, it was all thanks you've chosen my stakes. We will be handling our issue first. Glad to meet you, Sir-"

"Louis James Moriarty."

Worded the man, as he tipped his top hat.

"Oh, well then. I must be off."

Afterwards, the lady shortly left. A pleasing conversation, a short one of an encounter blistering the blonde's impression of her.

Charismatic, and demure, her aura is somewhat I cannot describe— alluring. Mentioning she is the heiress, probably an owner. A noblewoman. Simplistic attracted to her appearance as I thought that she belongs to the workers in charge of this running bank. How intriguing... I must tell this to brother.

"Hm, I wanna bump on the scenes. You've seen the girl in person."

In the coming response from the colonel— observing their momentum just now. Meanwhile, in front of him, Louis shushes the man before him not to spill something.

"Let's go back to the Manor. We have a lot to discuss with my dear brother. Also, Moran, you'll conclude what we've investigated here."

By the time the four men eventually went outside the bank. Louis's introspections vividly stick with his determination, but on what certain metier did he inspect back there? Furthermore his short time with the lady earlier, who is she? At last, arriving at the manor. They found Albert standing in the yard— together with Jack Renfield, their maestro. Also known as Jack the Ripper, formerly. Meeting them shortly after their visit errands, Bond came forth to explain details as the rest heeded inside. Louis appealed to Albert to uprising his interesting news brought from an event; this is indeed important. Hence his confession delivered to William may help to discuss.

"I'm pretty aware of this insight, Louis. Moran already went in— we should too."

"The portraits by the upstairs hall we both discovered the Hemsworths. I never saw them before as you do with my brother's meetings or any particulars. So, they're from Yorkshire, is it? Brother Albert?"

"Oh, their namesake holds a lot of their generations." Albert pressed the conversation, moving on with the other walking inside the manor.

"If I'm not erroneous about their background they come from a line of economic privileges, especially Duke Harrison Hemsworth's. A long format to talk about— in fact, they're sometimes appointed to the queen. That's why I barely greet to chitchat with the family. Although, his daughter—"

”My, my, going through the insights without my guard? How cunningly crude of you, brother Albert."

In time, abruptly the criminal mastermind was summoned, and he breathed a small laughing matter. Keenly smirking his brother aside with his hands folded behind him as usual; much to his anticipation. Welcoming his two brothers beyond the opened corners— standing in front.

"I'd suppose you could say that only the four of us are aware of Hemsworth's vogue of riches— to simply put... Well, lavish outcomes. Though, they're very private with their matters. As I've known to read about their lifestyle once in a bulletin: "Simplistic Nobles of England" hearsay. I'd find it very exceptionally reputable— not on the bad side whatsoever. I don't see any hints of malicious motives. They do a lot of charity work, I guess no wonder they built a bank."

"Yes, you are right, brother. Moran and I earlier discussed he also knew a bit of Hemsworth's background. Their reputations being the noble saints they said." Louis agreed as he proceeds with finishing his brother's words.

"To begin with I may conclude that their daughter by the name of Stephanie Cris Hemsworth. The only daughter of Duke Harrison brings so much image towards their stature. An independent and responsible, yet sociable woman; a socialite. She is named "Jewel of the Night" by the noblemen who attend banquets. She is always presentable. Although, I cannot simply say she is a threat. Much to what I've figured out."

William explained briefly to his brothers what he had known of this woman, Stephanie Cris Hemsworth. Born in Yorkshire, a dashing woman of her finest. She is recognized by their hometown being the precious mineral, as assumed she and Albert shared the same coloured eyes— but hers were much lighter than his pigment. A lot of people know her as a demure, but a quick-witted woman of her charms. It is said she handles any physical prowess taught by her mother— and is a lover of operas. Aside from that a half-French lady who used to reside and goes to a girls' school in Paris. Finally lives today back here in England; helping in Lilibark Uniondale Bank her father's business.

A charter of statements William inputs at the moment there was a space of uncertainties going over through his mind.

Be it with hope, I know the bank holds equity as I've seen commoners pursue to have their money profited with investments. Which is a great move from her father... Why do I feel something? There's still a missing piece to their motive. Even though I've heard they're quite a private family.

Do they hold the same key to idealization as us? Or are they an enemy of some kind? Battling of crimes? So much to discover paints many truths... Their quote—

"But, brother William?"

"What is it, Louis?"

"About their quote, I took notice of that utterance you blurted out of the blue that morning. "Enabling both statuses to open their accounts" was the duke's call. I picked my interpretation of equality. Could there lie they're alike to what we idealized? Or was there something else?"

"By now that you've mentioned. Who knows for a certain they might be? Well, I was going to head off to a tailor to fetch the suit I'd requested all of us for the upcoming ball 3 days ahead." William chimed, bowing down before he could leave the two.

"Thank you for the time to consult this report. I best be off."

"What do you think, brother Albert?"

"I don't want to amend the judgement, Louis. If there's a sign we will take a grudge. For now, our focused goal is the night killer. As William spoke last night, their next venue to hit their target is the queen's actual ball."

"I'm not certain, I hope their motive is not them..."

A cold sweep of Louis's sweat acted upon his shoulders. The tension between his morals and thoughts crumbled

"And you think to summarize the killer's target is the Hemsworth family? Possibilities... But we must stay vigilant. Nobles—really are their prey."

Beyond the dim night of Durham— a carriage parked in veneer at the bank's entrance. The stallion heaped, opening the cab's door appears tall, eloped and a postured gentleman. But it seems he has a company with him. Presented to proceed on their way in.

"I see this is where the new bank resided. Amazing, the design emblems such as attraction— see over the carved top of the pillars. Architects studied their coat of arms so well, don't you think? John?"

"I'm beyond astounding as we came here, Sherlock. Now, why are we here again?"

Questioned the fellow beside him, he released a scoffing manner. His brow shifted with cockiness; marching his way to meet up with somebody that caters for his interest. Perhaps, a bigger reason for help if he may guess.

"The odds, John. A lady fetched us to help her with a nosy client. But, I don't suppose liking at this time to consult their complaints. This is a nuisance." He diminished his words finally meeting the lady through the halls.

"Ah, I see you're the lady who gave me a telegraph. Pleasure, I'm Detective Sherlock Holmes and this is my trusty fellow, Dr John H. Watson."

With a slide of his hand tipping his hat— thus bowing at the lady. Before he could give him a handshake, politely greeted the lady. At the strike of the other's face when he took a glimpse towards the lady for the first time, his mouth agape. An awed, breathtaking beauty he probably had never seen.

"Likewise, this is my first time meeting you, detective Holmes. I'm excited that I've reached out— and Dr Watson. You look bewildered at some point—"

Sherlock turned over to his friend who was momentarily gazing out at the woman. He couldn't help but snap his friend out of the way. Immediately John awoke—

"Oh, pardon— umm I hope I'm not being rude looking at you. Miss—"

"Stephanie, Stephanie Cris Hemsworth. Dr Watson."

"You scoundrel shouldn't be eyeing over a lad like her! We are here to investigate—" the detective kid aside from them both interrupting the important mission much to his exclamation.

"Ah right, my bad, Sherlock."

"It won't be a while— just the soon as you're both good to go. Steadfast and stealth with the conclusions."

"It seems working with you won't be a hassle through my interrogations with your messy client, innit?"

"Yes, I'm truly positive."

Welcome, Mr Sherlock Holmes...

𝕱𝖎𝖓𝖎𝖘...

[marvelmaniac715]

This is an original gothic horror inspired Christmas story that I wrote last year. I thought it would be interesting to post it so that people could see what else I write other than fanfiction :).

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At first I wasn’t frightened. Of course, the notion was so absurd that it was easy enough to laugh off as a figment of my addled, sleep-deprived imagination. The construct of a strained psyche, nothing more. The idea that my daughter’s haphazardly built snowman was a living, breathing being was outlandish.

The thought of this concept came about when my five year old daughter Mathilde came running inside to me, insisting that her new friend was moving. Her mother and I indulged this fantasy when it became clear that the child simply wouldn’t see sense, and a small saucer’s worth of table scraps was left outside for ‘Mr Frost’ as he was now known, as Mathilde insisted that he was hungry.

Mathilde was heartbroken when we had to deconstruct the snowman in order to shovel our front path and retrieve my hat and scarf, she wept for hours on end. We couldn’t convince her to move from the window all of that day. At bedtime, we had to pry her away with our full strength in order to shift her.

My wife and I had hoped that she would be in better spirits by the morning, but alas, she was as solemn as the day before. Some friends of hers from school came over asking to play, but she refused. It was unsettling to see such grief from such a young child, who had no concept of death. Both sets of grandparents were still alive, and the family pet was a foul tempered cat named Spice who was still very much in the prime of life.

Two more days passed in a similar fashion, but after three days, my wife and I woke up to Mathilde bouncing up and down excitedly on our bed, imploring us to come outside. We noticed that she was already in her winter coat (half in, to be precise, she always struggled with the sleeves) and her face was flushed rose pink with the cold.

We were so thrilled to see her return to her former self that we immediately agreed to come downstairs to see what miraculous thing has restored her spirit. But when I went to grab my hat and scarf from the hook, they weren’t there. A feeling of deep wrongness took root in the pit of my stomach, and I shared an anxious glance with my wife. Could Mathilde have possibly rebuilt her snowman whilst we slept?

Sure enough, right outside, where he had stood less than a week before, was Mr Frost, glaring cooly from his coal eyes, gleaming in a solitary ray of early morning sunlight. Mathilde was beaming as she went to throw her arms around her cold companion, but her joy was quelled when my wife Gretchen gently admonished her.

“Now Mathilde, what have we told you about your friend here? He prevents us from leaving the house, and your Papa needs his hat and scarf. And it was naughty of you to sneak out at night, anything could have happened to you!”

Slightly downhearted but still glowing with the faintest hint of excitement, Mathilde grinned conspiratorially and whispered.

“But Mama, I was asleep all night, I came downstairs to fetch a glass of water and saw him outside. Don’t you see? He’s come back to me!”

This… this was clearly the fantasy of a foolish child, there was no conceivable way that a snowman (a manmade creation) could build itself overnight. Mathilde must have been trying to lie her way out of punishment, but the lie was so obvious that it was easy to see through it.

We had to deconstruct the snowman again, of course, but this time, Mathilde didn’t cry. Instead, she stood still, smiling eerily as she gazed at the front door, just beyond which lay the remains of her companion. My wife and I were unsettled, and this image stuck with me as I went to bed that night, I couldn’t sleep.

Against my better judgement, I crept downstairs and took my coat from its hook. Trying desperately to make no sound, I painstakingly opened the door, and each second my hand was exposed to the air the wind nipped at my skin. I couldn’t find my gloves. Or my hat. But Mathilde was sound asleep, I’d made sure to lock her door and window. She couldn’t have done this.

The moment I stepped outside, I was met with a bone chilling sight. The wind itself whipped the snow skywards, moulding it into a disturbingly familiar shape. My hat and gloves rose into the air, the gloves settling on two sticks that had jerked upwards like a macabre marionette, and the hat just hovering in empty space. But not for long.

The snow had settled into its final resting place, the shape of a snowman. I suddenly felt the greatest urge to rush up to my daughter’s room and apologise profusely. She was telling the truth all along, and I had dismissed her as a foolish child.

The snowman’s coal mouth grinned at me in satisfaction. The sticks jolted forwards, reaching out towards me. Then the wind blew fiercely, pelting me with angry hail and bullet-like snowflakes. This wind wrapped around the snowman and lifted it (whole) into the air. With one powerful blast, it exploded, showering the ground with snow and coal.

Shaken by what I had seen, I returned to bed, but the cold clung to me like a blanket, or more fittingly, a funeral shroud. I couldn’t shake it, even when I went entirely under my duvet. It was like the snowman was right there behind me, breathing down my neck, smiling and smiling.

It wouldn’t stop. Why wouldn’t it stop? Everywhere I went, every time I went outside or just sat in my kitchen, it was there. Mathilde was delighted to find her friend waiting outside for her, Gretchen just assumed that I had caved in and decided to let her have her snowman. She didn’t understand. When I tried to explain the horrors I had witnessed, she had merely laughed and told me that I was a wonderful father for indulging my child’s fantasies.

It occurred to me that Mathilde would probably know something about this. Sure enough, when I asked if she knew how he kept coming back, she beamed at me and invited me to sit down next to her. Once I was settled, and Mathilde had been assured that her mother was not around, she whispered in my ear.

“The day I built him, I accidentally spilled some water I had taken from Moon Rock Lake onto the snow he was made from. The second he had a mouth, he whispered to me that we would be best friends forever, and that he would never ever leave me. I’m so glad you’ve seen him come back too, Papa, now I have someone else to play with!”

Moon Rock Lake was said to be cursed by a vengeful witch centuries ago, spurned by a lover who went on to wed another. But that was a simple story that the village elders told to children to stop them from playing in our main water source, or so I was led to believe. There was no other explanation for what I had seen though, so I didn’t know what to think.

That night, I didn’t care if I was heard. I raced downstairs and threw open the front door. I paused to grab a shovel, but forgot my coat in my rush to get outside. Outside, I rushed at the snowman and whacked it repeatedly with my shovel until it was no more. I did what I could to separate the snow into several piles, far apart from each other, and I burned the coal, and the sticks. Regretfully, I had to burn my hat and gloves as well. Now this snow demon would be vanquished.

I slept peacefully that night, but when I awoke, my wife Gretchen was not beside me. The house was deathly silent. I crept downstairs in fright, constantly looking over my shoulder as if I was being followed. Sitting near the front door with a knife in hand was my daughter, Mathilde. She tapped the knife against the door and stared at me unblinkingly. Then she spoke.

“You shouldn’t have done that, Papa. You shouldn’t have done that at all.”

[euphoricfilter]

did you ever think you would ever be writing fanfiction or any piece of writing?

(i just wanted to say your writing is so good too like perfect)

nope! if this is part of the yes or no game it’s not anymore LMAO because i make the rules 😎 and i’m suddenly realising that maybe just a yes or no isnt enough for me because i have a habit of over explaining things…

honestly it’s hard to answer? because i used to write a shit ton of fan fics on wattpad with a variation of tropes but just never uploaded any of them for whatever reason, which thank goodness i didn’t because they’re so musty now that i look back at them.

bts was my first introduction to fanfics, and i literally hadn’t read like a book in years, school doesn’t count because you’re technically forced to read all that stuff but i had and still don’t really have any experience in writing so i never planned to have it as like basically a full time hobby because i was never interested in reading

i have a very very big imagination, so many running ideas going on at once that i just started writing them down and what better way than to have my favorite boys as the main cast 😋 i think i’ve said this before but when i think of a story idea i always imagine it as a drama, so music plays a big part in my writing of certain scenes or what set designs would look like and i think that’s why my writing is very descriptive because i really hope that people can imagine what i’m seeing as i construct a story

and i don’t know what possessed me to post my first piece of writing on the internet but i remember the first thing i ever posted on this blog was the ‘devil that i know’ teaser and i think it got like 100 notes and i thought i made it so big and i guess my writing has just grown since then 😭 and i still haven’t completed that series either and it’s like 2 months away from being a year old

i don’t know if i’ll ever move my writing from fan fiction into like my own novel with original character designed by me or anything because the thought of literally no one reading it would end me and i’d probably make it free like i do my fics just so people are tempted to try it out but it’s not something i have in mind for now

it always surprises me when people praise my writing 😭 because i have basically no experience, somehow my english grades were one of my worst, but to be fair i hate hate hate analysis it’s sucks ass and i’m still learning as i go along! i also have a habit of comparing my writing style to other peoples which is stupid but alas we move!

so short answer: no?

thank you so much though! it really means more than words can explain how happy it makes me when i hear people say they enjoy my work 😭

[strititty]

I posted 627 times in 2022

That's 627 more posts than 2021!

52 posts created (8%)

575 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@simmonsized

@arquiving

@the-meat-machine

@uncannycory

@amazingakita

I tagged 555 of my posts in 2022

Only 11% of my posts had no tags

#art - 268 posts

#dave - 119 posts

#dirk - 66 posts

#rose - 64 posts

#alpha dave - 33 posts

#recs - 27 posts

#jade - 24 posts

#bro - 23 posts

#daverose - 22 posts

#john - 21 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#suffice it to say i do not think that the people who dislike the direction homestuck and all its post canon content took are wrong or bad

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Writing Comms

Hey! So it turns out... I need money to live!

If’n you like my work and you’d like to support me, you can shoot me a DM and I’ll write you a short 1-2k word story for the low low price of $15 USD.

We can negotiate on length and content--I’m mostly a Homestuck kink author, but I’m willing to try to tackle other things!

Examples of my work can be found here.

11 notes - Posted July 27, 2022

#4

i’ve decided i’m going to liveblog my reread of the run and go by @simmonsized​, because life is short and i might as well spend it taking notes on fanfiction i like! consider this my foreword for the work, both that of the author and the blogging to come.

what can i say about the run and go, hereafter shortened to rng?

i can say that i’ve read it through several times already--you don’t post a strider-centric longfic on ao3 without catching my attention, alas. i am simply obsessed.

i can also say that the idea of doing this particular fic as a liveblog is in no small part due to this lovely post i reblogged recently, which very artfully summarizes rng’s premise and furthermore details what draws me to the strilonde family as a whole.

i have, my entire life, been a little obsessed with doppelgangers. the quote-unquote evil double, the broken mirror, one idea but a little to the left. my original characters tend to propagate themselves as iterations of one another, in relation to one another. foils, reflections, translations.

rng goes at the concept of self-and-other and just runs right the fuck away with it. dysfunctional family fractals make these halls and they are fascinating. i think the thing that caught me first, a thing that i bring up all the time talking about this fic to my long-suffering lover, is what turns into the refusal to other dave into davesprite--the nuance that goes into that choice, even when it isn’t always CONVENIENT for everyone - even us as readers - is something that has always struck me.

but let’s save some analysis for the reread, huh! at 504,625 words as of this posting, rng is a long piece of work, and i am going to try to go chapter by chapter, SOOOO... let’s! get! moving!

   The universe spits you out straight onto the roof where you entered the game, and you catch yourself with your face.

   --

   Davesprite struggles with being the Other Dave. Bro is back from the dead, and the Strider apartment is about two times too crowded for everyone involved. Reconciliation takes time and effort, and forgiveness is a thing to be earned.    You have to try, and when that's not enough, you have to try HARDER.

15 notes - Posted June 27, 2022

#3

it’s derseweek baby!!! here’s sort of a meta first in that this is the first (and possibly one of the only) time i have posted visual art on this blog. maybe it’s also the first time rose has put a collar on dave, idk!

@hsderseweek​ <3 hi yall

19 notes - Posted July 18, 2022

#2

@hexcitrine​ mercy, mercy, you have twisted my arm and i will get started on davesprite lalonde.

vital context for this kidswap is that for the most part everything proceeds as normal. i don’t have a LOT of the details worked out, but the meat of it is that dave and rose were swapped at birth. this is not some great sburb conspiracy--it’s fully unintentional. rose’s eyes are still their lovely violet, and dave’s are red as shitty koolaid. have no fucking idea how this happened. could have been a meteor mix-up. bro and momlonde could’ve met up and gone ‘fuck it let’s trade.’

i concede to knowing Nothing and i apologize.

THAT SAID!

rose strider is a girl of so many sharp angles and suspicions that even her friends have trouble getting along with her at the best of times, and dave lalonde could never take jade’s place as the loneliest girl in the world but his mother’s alcoholism drives him to a sort of lowkey highkey desperation for sober approval that does not come to him often.

so lime, you might be wondering, where does davesprite come in?

and i will answer by copy-pasting my original ramble...

shit. fuck. fuck... a series of events in my head:

dave lalonde and rose strider's doomed timeline, where john went and got himself killed and jade vanished. they know that something needs to be done to rewind the clock, to right the wrongs that have been committed. this whole thing will go off the rails otherwise.

assume rose is a seer of time. she sees the confluence of timelines, the endless deaths. she knows the path to take to find the timeline she is looking for, and she can guide others to that timeline - that may involve being able to time travel with other people ? classpecting is so weird, forgive my transgressions

so she and dave spend two or three months in their broken, doomed offshoot timeline. rose knows what she needs to do from the moment things go south, but

against everything she's been raised to do, against the brutal, scalpel sharp efficiency that has been beaten into her by word and blade alike... she doesn't commit to immediately. she will. she will. she just needs Time. time to spend with dave before she does what she needs to do.

but when the months have gone by and she realizes her resolve is trying to weaken, she cuts it out of herself. she says her goodbyes.

she sends dave back.

because dave is still john's best friend, because dave is light and they'll need all the luck they can get--a court doesn't need more than one seer, but a few knights might do the trick.

she may have... misled him about what was going to happen. about who was going to be left behind.

davesprite is fucking bereft.

what i imagine you get is not just a dave who is angry about being the back-up dave, but a dave simultaneously furious with rose for doing this to him and to herself. he spent three long months with her and somehow he never knew?

whole lotta messy betrayal, i think. whole lotta love made incandescent rage.

23 notes - Posted June 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Do you have dirk/dave recs?

boy do i! here's a few

pleonasms by nuclearwinter - no-game au. a series of one-shots that at once strikes me as tender and hilarious. dirk helps dave out with his sexuality, among other things. ;)

phase change by actinide - 14k, post-epilogues but not hs2 compliant. it's got a lot of good metanarrative shit and is altogether a very interesting piece of work. it has a very good sequel in sublimination that i would also recommend, featuring so many of dirk's messy feelings and how they affect everyone else.

dungeons & striders by mortior - 31k, d&d au. dirk is a lich and dave is a paladin! it's extremely fun and if you like d&d or fantasy in general you will take deep pleasure in this.

find me at sea (and tell me why you never loved me) by blackestofmarkets - 23k. dirk's up and vanished and dave goes to find him. a long and thoughtful meditation on movement and searching, which i like very much.

imitation games by centaur - 2.6k, post-game. one-sided but also really interesting and thought-provoking? dirk's running scenarios, as he does.

disengage, calibrate by applejuice_motherfucker - 14k, no-game au. continuing the trend of the fic above, this is also one-sided dirkdave, but sometimes you need to take a sip of the ANGST, babes! there's so much yearning... it's so good. (i started writing a sequel to this. maybe eventually it will see the light of day)

trial run by jalules & is it enough? do you think it's too much? by cmdonovann - 3.9k & 5k, post-game. okay enough sad and/or longish fic let's finish off with some PORN!!! trial run is a good hypnosis fic and is it enough? is a sequel from another author that is very good!!! hypno on both sides. delicious.

43 notes - Posted June 6, 2022

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