#but also when women have to teach men to be honest/loyal it gives me the ick

[yerimoonlight]

Siri...Play Traitor on repeat because The Legacy of Yangchen is coming out in July and I still have not forgiven Kavik.

[dfroza]

Integrity

Today’s reading of the Scriptures from the New Testament is the 2nd chapter of the letter of Titus:

As to you, Titus: talk to them; give them a good, healthy diet of solid teaching so they will know the right way to live.

Here’s what I want you to teach the older men: enjoy everything in moderation, respect yourselves and others, be sensible, and dedicate yourselves to living an unbroken faith demonstrated by your love and perseverance.

And here’s what I want you to teach the older women: Be respectful. Steer clear of gossip or drinking too much so that you can teach what is good to young women. Be a positive example, showing them what it is to love their husbands and children, and teaching them to control themselves in every way and to be pure. Train them to manage the household, to be kind, and to be submissive to their husbands, all of which honor the word of God.

Encourage the young men in the same way: in every situation, they should learn to control themselves.

Titus, you have to set a good example for everyone. Go out of your way to do what is right, speak the truth with the weight and authority that come from an honest and pure life. No one can argue with that. Then your enemies will cower in shame because they have nothing bad to say against us.

Advise all the servants: Work hard for your masters, and be loyal to them. Strive to please. Don’t be rude or sarcastic. Don’t steal or embezzle your masters’ property. Show them you are trustworthy, and all the credit will go to the teaching of God our Savior.

We have cause to celebrate because the grace of God has appeared, offering the gift of salvation to all people. Grace arrives with its own instruction: run away from anything that leads us away from God; abandon the lusts and passions of this world; live life now in this age with awareness and self-control, doing the right thing and keeping yourselves holy. Watch for His return; expect the blessed hope we all will share when our great God and Savior, Jesus the Anointed, appears again. He gave His body for our sakes and will not only break us free from the chains of wickedness, but He will also prepare a community uncorrupted by the world that He would call His own—people who are passionate about doing the right thing.

So, Titus, tell them all these things. Encourage and teach them with all authority—and rebuke them with the same. You are a man called to serve, so don’t let anyone belittle you.

The Letter of Titus, Chapter 2 (The Voice)

A note from The Voice translation:

At times Paul can be unrelenting. As he challenged Timothy in the two letters he addressed to him, Paul also challenges Titus to live the truth he teaches. People are drawn toward God, not through bold arguments, but by passionate godliness. We must be passionate about doing the right thing. Our actions tell the story. Our lives are living parables, shouting the mystery of godliness. Paul tells Titus to be bold, to teach with authority, and not to let anyone belittle him. We get a clear picture of a strong, courageous giant of a man. Titus is sent to the people of Crete—a people short on virtue and long on vice—to fashion a church of loving disciples.

Today’s paired chapter of the Testaments is the 13th chapter of the book of Ezekiel:

The word of the Eternal came to me with two more messages about Jerusalem.

Eternal One: Son of man, preach against the false prophets of Israel—the ones making up predictions and visions out of their own imaginations. Tell them to listen to the real word of the Eternal One! The Eternal Lord says woe to those foolish prophets whose message is based on their own spirits and have not had a vision! Your prophets, Israel, are like jackals foraging through the ruins. You have put forth no effort to repair the broken-down defenses or to reinforce the wall around the city so that it will stand strong in battle on the day the Eternal sends His judgment. Their warnings and predictions are all false. They utter only lies. They speak in the name of the Lord, claiming, “the Eternal declares,” but I have not sent them. The funny thing is, they actually expect their predictions to come true. Did you not perceive a false vision and speak an untrue divination when you proclaimed, “The Eternal declares,” although I hadn’t said anything at all?

So I say because you have spoken falsely and have seen empty visions, I am against you who prophesy out of your own imaginations. I will set My hand against those who see false visions and lying divinations. These self-proclaimed soothsayers will not be a part of the council of My people or be listed among the people of Israel. They will be forbidden from entering the sacred land of Israel. Then you will know I am the Eternal Lord. It is because these false prophets have lied to My people and led them off course, saying, “Everything is peaceful and fine,” when nothing is peaceful or fine. When the people build a weak and wobbly wall, the false prophets are right behind them, coating it with plaster. Tell these plasterers that your wall is going to fall. Torrential rains will pour down upon your lies, hail will pound your flimsy creation, and mighty winds will knock down your fabricated dreams. And guess what? When your nicely plastered wall collapses, the people will ask you, “Where is your plaster? Didn’t it strengthen the wall?” So I say that in My fury I will release a mighty wind to knock it down. In My anger I will produce hailstorms and torrential rains to destroy it. I will demolish the wall you covered with plaster and level it to the ground so that nothing is left but its foundation. When your wall falls, you will be destroyed. Then you will know I am the Eternal. This is how My wrath will be satisfied against the wall and those who covered it with plaster. Then I will say to you that there is nothing left of the wall or those who plastered it— those fraudulent seers of Israel who prophesied concerning Jerusalem, claiming everything was peaceful and fine when everything was not peaceful or fine.

Now, son of man, you must also preach against the women of your people who prophesy out of their own imaginations. Preach against these false prophetesses, and tell them the Eternal Lord says, “Woe to the women who sew magic charms on wrists and make veils of various sizes for heads in order to hunt down souls with their magic. Do you actually think you can entrap the souls of My people for your own purposes without endangering your own lives? You have profaned Me among My people, trading precious souls for a few scraps of barley and bread. Your lies have caused many to die who should not have and many to live who should not have, all because they listened to your lies.”

I, the Eternal Lord, have this to say regarding your enchantments: I oppose your magic charms you use to hunt precious souls like birds! I will strip them from your wrists and set the people free. I will tear off your veils and rescue My people from your power; they will no longer fall prey to your hunt. Then you will know I am the Eternal One. Because you have discouraged the innocent and unsuspecting with your lies and deceptions when I left them in peace, and because you have encouraged the wicked instead of showing them the error of their ways so they could live, you will no longer conjure up lying visions or practice divination. For I will save My people from your seductive powers. Then you will know I am the Eternal One.

The Book of Ezekiel, Chapter 13 (The Voice)

A link to my personal reading of the Scriptures for Thursday, november 9 of 2023 with a paired chapter from each Testament of the Bible along with Today’s Proverbs and Psalms

A post by John Parsons about “clinging” to faith:

Faith perseveres in the way of life... “You who have clung to the LORD your God are all alive today” (Deut. 4:4). The Hebrew word devakut (דְּבָקוּת) means "cleaving" and refers to communion with God. This word comes from davak (דָּבַק), meaning to "cling" or "stick" (the Modern Hebrew word for “glue” is devek (דֶבֶק) which also comes from the same root, as does the Yiddish word “davka”). Devakut, then, implies being intimately connected with God in an earnest and passionate relationship: "My soul cleaves to you; your right hand upholds me" (Psalm 63:8).

The sages comment that we can cleave to God only one day at a time, since our future is conditioned upon this present day and its challenges. As Yeshua said: “Take therefore no thought for tomorrow: for tomorrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient for the day its own trouble” (Matt. 6:34). One day at a time...

The LORD gives us daily bread (לֶחֶם חֻקֵּנוּ) so that we may persevere for this day; he “feeds us with hunger” to teach us to rely on alone him for true life (Deut. 8:3). “For he is our God, and the sheep of his hand today -- if you hear his voice” (Psalm 95:7). Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your heart (Heb. 3:15). “Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God, but encourage one another every day, as long as it is called "today," so that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin” (Heb. 3:12-13).

[ Hebrew for Christians ]

========

Psalm 63:8 Hebrew reading:

https://hebrew4christians.com/Blessings/Blessing_Cards/psalm63-8-jjp.mp3

Hebrew page pdf:

https://hebrew4christians.com/Blessings/Blessing_Cards/psalm63-8-lesson.pdf

11.8.23 • Facebook

from yesterday’s email by Israel 365:

We are living in prophetic times. For close to 2,000 years, prophecies predicting the return of the Jewish people to the land of Israel were but a dream. But in 1948, the Jewish homeland in the land of Israel was re-established. Israel has a thriving economy, and Jews from all four corners of the earth have returned to the land, fulfilling biblical prophecies of the return of the exiles.

Today’s message (Days of Praise) from the Institute for Creation Research

November 9, 2023

Exalting the Anointed One

“The adversaries of the LORD shall be broken to pieces; out of heaven shall he thunder upon them: the LORD shall judge the ends of the earth; and he shall give strength unto his king, and exalt the horn of his anointed.” (1 Samuel 2:10)

This is a remarkable prayer, uttered under divine inspiration by Hannah, thanking God for the miraculous birth of Samuel. It contains the first explicit reference in the Bible to the Messiah (“anointed,” in the Hebrew, is Messiah, equivalent to the Greek “Christ”). Hannah's prophetic prayer predicts the ultimate exaltation of Messiah over all the adversaries of the Lord to the very ends of the earth. Hannah also prophesied the coming of the Lord’s great King. Yet this was during the time of the judges, long before the people of Israel even began to request a king.

In fact, the entire prophecy is the first of many similar prophecies throughout the Bible that look forward to the return of the Lord “out of heaven” to judge all nations, to destroy His enemies, and to establish His anointed one as King of the earth.

There is nothing comparable to this prophecy in the earlier books of the Bible, but it is a theme often emphasized in the Psalms and in the books of prophecy, as well as in the New Testament. For example, note David’s great prophecy: “The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, against the LORD, and against his anointed....Then shall he speak unto them in his wrath....Yet have I set my king upon my holy hill of Zion....and the uttermost parts of the earth for thy possession” (Psalm 2:2, 5-6, 8).

There are many similar later prophecies, but it is significant that the first one also contains the first mention of Messiah, and that was from the lips of a humble, but devout, mother. HMM

[jumin-deserves-better]

My thoughts on all the Mystic messenger characters and their routes :

Ok, last week I finished playing the mystic messenger game. I completed all the routes, DLCs etc. And, OMG, WHAT A RIDE WAS THAT ! . It doesn't have any appealing plot like other otome games, but this game sure did capture my heart,which most of the otome games fail to do so. The fact I could relate to some of the characters, I felt bad for them, concerned, weirded out at times , and so happy when they changed into a happy person because of me. The game deserves all the praise it gets, 10/10 👍

In this post, I will give my rating based on my playthrough for each character, and I will also say who is my true route as well, i.e, the route I fell in love the most, And please remember, these are based on MY opinions alone, please don't come at me, if it doesn't match yours 👀, Feel free to share your opinions about the characters as well & this post is way long beware ~☆

My playthrough order : I followed the recommended playthrough to get a clear picture of the storyline.

Zen 》Yoosung》 Jaehee》 Jumin 》 Seven》 V 》 Ray.

And for your kind information, I never played this game to get a bad ending, i didn't want to hurt those precious fictional characters just for getting one CG 🤐, but I do know what happens

SPOILER FREE!, I will be just giving MY OWN ratings , except for the rika part lol don't worry, ladies.!

Anyways, let's just jump into it ;),

Zen 🤍:

THAT SMIRK THOUGH 😏

His route : 9/10 ( not the best route, but I liked it anyways, as he is my 1st route)

His character: 8/10 ( I don't like narcissism or narcissistic people, I know it was his coping mechanism, but I kind of dislike those type of men, his attitude in Jumin's route, kinda pissed me off apart from that , he is great ! )

Is he my true route ? : NO, I don't like guys who are narcissistic, I understand that that its was his coping mechanism, to make him believe in himself, but still being narcissistic all the time is not ok, I have a bad memory because of those type of guys, moreover, I am not that confident irl 😂 , I mean the MC in Zen's route,will have to say lots of weird ass choices, and the fact that will impress him⁉️, i wouldn't even say those choices irl to anyone . I wouldn't mind being friends with him though. He is definitely the ideal BF material, but he is just isn't for me..Sorry, Zen.😅

Yoosung 💚 :

AWW CUTIE 🥺💕

His route : 9/10 ( apart from the "You are just like Rika", I personally enjoyed his route, the character development was the best at the end 👌)

His character : 9/10 (OMG! He is just so cute, I am not the one to get attracted to the 'younger guy' type, but this guy just changed everything for me, but he needs lots of attention , beware, yandere yoosungs will pop out if u don't care about him enough, and the fact this guy was the only one who was supportive for Jumin's relationship with MC in Jumin's route , showed how much of a cutie he is!, unlike others 😒, he was a bit annoying in V's route, but it is understandable, he deserves to knw the truth about the person who he admires )

Is he my true route ? : Kind of a YES & a NO. Eventhough I enjoyed his route more than Zen, like I said earlier I am not into those 'younger guy' type, he is a guy who loves to be babied and protected by a mature MC , and well...I am not that mature either 😛,in reality, I am a independent person, but when it comes to relationships, i liked to be babied 😏. I personally think he deserves someone better than me, I don't want to ruin his happiness 🥺

Jaehee 🤎 :

A friend in need is a friend indeed, my bae,Jaehee! 😄

Her route : 7/10 ( ok, I am gonna be honest here, I did not enjoy her route, I was happy that she realized her dreams and goes for it, but do we have to ruin a character just for making this route dramatic? Yes, I am talking about Jumin, Do u guys even know, how much I struggled to even start Jumin's route, I was literally scared of him because of his potrayal in this route as that jerk which he was btw,this route actually made me avoid Jumin for sometime.I expected the relationship between Jumin and Jaehee to become a healthy one, but oh well, whatever, & the after ending was just frustrating,all the RFA members just isolated Jumin, seriously, eventhough he did wrong things ,I felt so bad for him, imagine his thoughts at that moment , ugh...Jaehee deserves a better route, I am just not a fan of 'downgrading one character to give more importance to the main one', it's just bad writing)

Her character : 8/10 ( she is an amazing friend, a bit mature one at that. But personally i felt , if she really wanted to pursue her dreams ,she could have resigned, if she is not liking it . She was behaving a bit ignorant at times, especially in Zen's route. She could have communicated with Jumin beforehand about her difficulty in handling the job? I knw it's very difficult to suddenly quit the job, but she has every right to resign,she does have the money to open a coffee shop, thn why?. Don't come at me, and tell me that I hate her just because she is a female character,HELL NO, I like her but still her route made me have mixed feelings. She was being rude at times , I really understood why CHERTIZ did this, to show women can liberate themselves to work for their dreams, but in a professional point of view, I still think the route could have been handled better. Small businesses success isn't as easy to get, and in my point of view it would have been nice to show how MC and Jaehee make it through in her route rather than making Jumin a jerk, because it ruined Jumin at first for not only me but also a number of players ,but oh well,🏃‍♀️, I do like her, she could be a great friend, nothing more that that )

Is she my true route? : NO, I am straight. I see Jaehee as a friend. Some ask a romantic route for her, but I don't mind about that , I was just glad that I could help her to realize her dreams as a FRIEND.

Jumin 💜 :

I don't see a selfish jerk here, I see a soft boi , in a gigantic body, who is just lonely

His route : 10/10 ( Seriously, I did not expect to like his route one bit, I thought I would hate him more, but turns out, I freaking fell in love with the flawed "him" , HECK YEAH! this was the only route where i was being TRUE TO MYSELF, did not refer any guides, understood his loneliness, I could relate to him so bad, I was happy to help him during his vulnerable times 🤧.Zen was annoying ,but I didn't care much about it, because I knw why he was like this. I prefer the good ending, and yes he does propose for marriage to whom he have talked for only 11 days, but I was very sure he will listen to you, if u don't want the marriage immediately )

His character : 9/10 ( He is so cute in his own way,mature, intelligent,awkward and even gets insecure,because he thinks he does not deserve you?! , you deserve better than me ,Jumin 😫, he does get possessive and irrational and that could make others uncomfortable, but for me, I understood that as well, being an empath myself ,as this dude never had a relationship with anyone,he is new into this, I don't mind teaching him new things about the world, about love. His characterization in Jaehee's route was god awful and cheritz did a bad job in it , I think they decided to make him like this, just for DRAMA,Jumin might have a bad way of showing emotions but he is not a soul less demon. I have seen people calling Jumin an abuser, but I didn't see that at all, he was being an idiot and he acknowledges it, every damn time, an abuser doesn't do this at all, and no..I don't think Jumin is dominant daddy material one bit like how the fandom perceives him. This is his first relationship with a woman, I feel he would be sweet, embarrassed loving and a loyal husband material, and I love his "opposed to living together before marriage" thing as well, as my religion follows that too as well )

Is he my true route? : A. BIG. FAT. YES. HE IS JUST MY TYPE, dear lord. I have never seen someone so perfect and also with flaws just like me , this guy made me realize that all along, I just never showed empathy towards others and that's why no one wanted to talk to me irl, I didn't care what people told about me. He seriously made me understand my own flaws and I corrected it, he made me into a better person, big thx , Mr.Jumin . Morever , I was being myself in his route only, I loved all of his calls , he brings up the strangest things just to talk to you, that's just so cute WTH , this man will be so loyal I am sure of it !.I don't really care about his riches, I am just in love with his true self 😫🥺

707 ❤ :

The main man of this game, hmmm....

His route : 7/10 ( ok, I was so hyped to play his route , cuz even before I started to play this game, 707 was so popular, I expected a lot, but it was a meh for me...he did have a VERY HEARTBREAKING PAST , he was suffering from a lot of things, I understand. But the whole route wasn't that gud though...and his secret endings are just painfully depressing and angsty, V's death just broke my heart, I felt so frickin bad for Jumin, how would he even handle those things?.It just destroyed me completely. Moreover I don't find 707's jokes funny at times, his route had good plot, but 707 failed to impress me in his own route)

His character : 7/ 10 ( oh boi,I am scared that I would be slaughtered with hatred for telling this, the fact that he was faking his own personality was very shocking to me, I did not expect that. I despise tsunderes ,and 707 is the literal definition of it, so yeah, It ended up being annoying for me. Even though I was hella depressed like 707 before, I couldn't find him #relatable at all. I don't knw why , but I couldn't see him more than a friend 🚶‍♀️)

Is he my true route? : NOPE. I was not impressed by him at all, don't knw why lol, I tried to like him as he is THE REAL TRUE ROUTE,but it is still not getting into my heart, maybe because I already started to love Jumin, idk. I felt bad for 707, I wouldn't mind helping him as a friend, but as a significant other...NAH....,I am not into these type of guys 🥴,sorry seven...

V 💙 :

I can understand why Jumin and V were best friends...they be looking like DADDY 👀

His route : 8 /10 ( for me, I was happy that V finally understood that he was basically a obsessive simp for Rika, I hated that he blamed himself more, which somehow I agree, I feel like he could have said something to the RFA , yoosung was hella annoying in this route, he spoke as if Rika is an angel or something, which she is not btw, yoosung, she brainwashed saeran and freakin created a cult, and this is not something an angel would do 🥴, V is not just flawed or anything,he doesn't even love himself,and so clings to rika because she was so wonderful in her eyes as an idea .He kept the freakin truth hidden,just because Rika doesn't want to, of course, my baby,yoosung will ask about . V is too emotional,and he was a victim of rika's abuse and manipulation just like Saeran,I liked the plot and though I didn't fall in love with him , I did have a tinsy bit of crush on him, mainly because of his looks, more like a puppy love, the voice acting was on point 👌)

His character : 7/ 10 ( boi could have handled the situation with his crazy GF much better, he actually let Saeran get brainwashed by Rika, he could have done something, and the fact that he liked Rika only as an idea, showed that this guy was in a very toxic relationship, Rika and V are the perfect example of what happens when two people who doesn't love themselves date, and he was clearly the victim of Rika's abuse and manipulation. I also don't think he is an angel either, he has done some wrong things definitely, and the fandom should acknowledge his wrong doings)

Is he my true route? : NO. Though Jumin and V are very similar , I did not like the fact that he simped for his crazy GF out of his obsession alone and though, she was clearly showing red flags earlier, he thinks that the power of love can change her lol . He was so confusing for me to understand. 😂

Ray 💖 :

His route : 10/10 ( The drama , the music, the plot & the voice acting was just fantastic, I was blown away by this route, but that doesn't mean I liked Saeran as a character, the boi needs therapy, not romance lol, sry,and the recovery from his brainwashed state was unrealistic )

His character : 7/10 ( seriously, the voice acting for both the personalities was just mind blowing, he is such a well written character, but his abandonment issues isn't something u should romanticize about, he loved the affection that the MC was giving , but one wrong move, he will change just like that , he confused affection with love. Some are telling that Jumin was abusive, which he is not btw , for me, suit Saeran was super abusive, WTH)

Is he my true route ? : HELL NO. Eventhough he was practically innocent because he was under the influence of that elixir or some kind of a drug and brainwashed by Rika , I would never in my life try to have a romantic relationship with those kind of people. I may like him after he receives proper therapy ,but NO, just No, I can help him as a person, but I wouldn't go for a kiss or something with him. 🙄

Rika 💔:

This scene still gives me goosebumps 🙄

Her character : -infinity / 20 ( she deserves this uwu)

SPOILERS AHEAD!

Ok, hear me out, I hate Rika so much , i know she has been through a lot, i really do.. but it doesn't mean you can emotionally abuse and brainwash Saeran, he would have been a better person,she turned a person who loves ice cream and cloud watching into a self destructive psycho, another story showed how much she is capable of by her words , She manipulated V to not tell RFA that she is gonna start a cult, WHAT THE HELL, V, do you not knw what she is trying to do here 😳 ? But whatever,V was being manipulated by her "playing as a victim" tactics, she also played with Jumin's feelings for her, I was about to throw my hands on her, how dare u do that to my man ??, made yoosung to obsess over her to make him think that she is absolutely a gud person, and left him to ponder over her so called 'passing' , making him unable to move on from her.

And oh god,the backstory did not make me feel bad for her one bit, it only made me understand why she has become like this. Like dude, I understood she had a shitty past, but so did the other members of RFA, but did they all become like a manipulative victim player? Hell no.. they learned from their mistakes and they change, but even when all the members were trying to help her, she denies that she doesn't need a therapy. She deserves a proper mental therapy and a proper jail time. NO EXCUSE FOR THAT, she did the same manipulation and brainwashing for all of her disciples to get them into Mint eye.

But as a character , Rika just rocked it for me , she was so successful in making me and a lot of the fans hate her as an antagonist. Her voice actor was so gud,she had such a good way of speaking manipulative, like God, I understood why all the RFA members were all kind of whipped for her, she is such a master piece as an antagonist. 🚶‍♀️🤫

Vanderwood 💞👀 :

I NEED A VANDERWOOD ROUTE 😫

His character: 10/10 idk, why am I giving a rating for him though? I just love him 😂

Ok, I know he is a side character, but for some reason, I liked him more than 707 lol 👀, I just spoke with him only in one chatroom , but boi , was I whipped for him 😜

*******************************************

My favourite to least MM main characters and routes :

JUMIN - 19/20 ( 1st)

YOOSUNG - 18/20 (2nd)

ZEN & RAY - 17/ 20 ( 3rd)

V & JAEHEE - 15 / 20 ( 4th )

707 - 14 / 20 ( 5th, it's not that I hate him or something, it's just that I was neither IMPRESSED by his character nor the route, I don't mind him one bit! )

Rika -Though she doesn't have a route or a gud character she deserves a -infinity/20 ( and no place in my heart 🚶‍♀️)

Overall, this game is the best otome game ! , I actually paid for getting the hourglasses, I mean, I suck at patience, I was so intrigued by the story, but it was seriously worth it !. There are a number of otome games which charge more than this.

Anyways,

Thank you, Cheritz for creating Mystic messenger. This game totally changed how I perceived life, love ❤ and Romance 💕

[pear-pies]

音像世界 [Audiovisual World] - Sept 2006

a very wonky but delightful translation under the cut

Placebo ; We are the 21st century modern rock band                        Text/Interview with Zhang Weiwei/Xingyue 

On the first day of "2006 Beijing Pop Music Festival", "Placebo" Perform on the main stage of the company. "Placebo" is hailed as "the most Record the distinctive British music yin", this is their first time on the Chinese stage. Long talk will undoubtedly be a feast for listening to you. Mission to the last century In 1996, one named Brian Moco )lkO) boy,’ painted Seven eyes Liangying, leaving pitch black  Childish behavior:  ‘The violent red color I'm learning girls like a demon Sing a song "Nancy Kid" When I vent without hesitation Stupid material life and The emotion brought by the ft world. From the moment on stage, cloth Who is the backlog in my heart Thrown in front of the world, lead Shoulder, reputation, obsession and even People band one by one "placebo" Horribly turned out, "(Radiohead)s" "'Oasis" (Oasis) Three The altar adds a stunning                                                             Household Don't one by one Lane was born into a wealthy Bank entrepreneur, mother Christianity. Childhood, Tossed in Scotland, Libby Between Schlossburg. Serious  , And moved countless times Dogs have no fixed partners in childhood Jidu is lonely, even learning

The classmates and teachers in the school are also particularly alienated, plus , My parents ignored because of busy banking  , The physical and psychological growth of his son, Bryan from 11 I have been learning from the streets, newspapers and magazines since I was Factory women give themselves makeup and always like to surround  Women go round and round.     When he was 16 years old, his parents gave him a copy  Telecaster guitar, very sensitive to music  Brian soon bought a real price  A real guitar, and I've been obsessed with playing guitar ever since,  So that everyone can often see it on stage  Brian gently hugged the guitar one by one  He plays the role of a mother in his life  Important role. But in fact, Bryan’s parents  Straightforwardly oppose him to engage in art-father-  I want to let Brian inherit his career and become a  Bankers one by one Blaine began to use gender boundaries  Vaguely neutral dress to resist father and family  Against pressure. Until the end, Brian and his father  There is no longer any contact or exchange. In 1990, 18-year-old Brian left the family.  Came to London alone and entered Gold  Smiths Academy of Art and Drama Studies (British  The prestigious Royal Academy of Art, "Blur"  Former guitarist Graham Coxon  Coxon) also graduated from the college J. Cloth at this time  Ryan has been able to skillfully play a variety of instruments such as Ji  Him, keyboard, bass, drums, saxophone, and even DJing,  He also worked as a DJ in several clubs, but he was honest  Say that I am not very good at being a DJ0    By chance in 1994, Brian Kensington subway station encountered a later career ride   Stefan Olsdal,}     Invite him to form a band with himself and join in one,   Club performance. Osdo listened to Brian   Immediately after the song was attracted, not only that, he   , Put his Swedish friend Robert Schutz   (Robert Schultzberg) pulls into the music    Be a drummer (until 1996). Until later   , Bryan also emphasized that Osdo accepted his The moment I invited to the band was my whole life E one of the unforgettable moments. During this period, Bligh En called the band "Ashtray Heart" (Ashtray Heart) Heart)0   After quickly gaining awareness, they The band was renamed "placebo". Soon, Caroline Records has recognized this and A different young band.   In 1996, Robert Schutzberger The conflict with Brian increased and left the band, from Therefore, the position of the drummer has always been Steve Huey 特 (Steve Hewitt) instead. In the same year, the band The first album of the same name "Placebo" (Placebo) released Row. Singles "Nancy Kid" and "Young Rage" (Teertage Angst) immediately became a hit single, The stubborn and rebellious children of the entire Yao British Empire Was boosted by this three-person band, "placebo" It seems that they have been able to relieve their psychological barriers A great pill for manic heart. Just as Brian is different from   Ordinary costumes-mascara, eyeshadow, full lips, ～ Nail polish, skirts, this series will only show up The characteristics of a woman’s body are now affected by a height,The British man who is less than 1.75 meters boldly and naturally used to dress himself up. The British media took advantage of the trend and gave him the title of "fashionable Bowie". "Media reporters like to make boo heads. Maybe it's because life in the UK has always been so dull and boring. That's why they were surprised when they met me and yelled. I like "Sonic Youth" and "Sonic Youth". "Pixies", I prefer to dress myself up as I want to appear on the stage, in the MV and even in life. I just enjoy such an open-self lifestyle." Brian shrugged and said softly. In a tedious and lengthy interview after a TV show performance, Brian deliberately pointed the guard ｝l to the male reporter’s chest, so that the reporter was tossed by the sly Brian that he had no intention of continuing the interview. Go on, while Hewitt and Stephen are laughing together. After the album of the same name was released, the band easily got the mainstream record company Virgin In November 1998, he quickly recorded and released the second album "No "Without You I'm Nothing". This album has a rare change in the depth of the lyrics and Brian’s vocals compared to the first album. Brian in "Pure Morning" lowered his throat and reluctantly sang "Send charcoal in the snow." "A Friend in Need A Friend Indeed" (A Friend in Need A Friend Indeed). A famous sentence like household. Bryan, dressed in black, jumped out of the building and walked straight down the wall. The MV for this song was also planned by Bryan. A keen listener can find from this Xin album that the alcohol, drugs, and erosive relationships in "Nancy Kid" have changed to the mixed emotions and emotions toward urban men and women in "Every You Every Me".

The rhetoric of the low-level media is more intense. Every large-scale live performance, "placebo" In order to pursue the perfect sound effect comparable to the recording studio, Always bring fixed musicians with them Stage performance, and these fixed musicians also accompanied Placement has gone through a worthy 10 years. Although But on the stage they always hide without light In the dark, but they are the same as the "placebo" three The relationship between the members is like a formal team member. Observant Fans will also find that "Velvet Gold Mine" These regular musicians also participated. And "Ann Placement" "Believe in Me" held in Paris (Soulmates Never Die) large concert now The DVD and MV compilation are everybody’s Placement" a precious treasure that loyal fans must collect, The Paris concert not only included the "placebo" essence Cham’s hot live performance also hides a 30 Minute tour documentary, including how the three escaped Avoid the chase of fans and talk about the fun in the lounge Bryan teaches you how to draw eyeshadow and sightseeing Precious fragments of time crazy Stefan. "Placebo" will play an electrified style The ultimate is the new album released this year Meds; compile the album cover with "Sleep with the Elves"

It’s exactly the same, it seems to come from the same designer              hand. As Brian said, in the past 10 years he’              We work hard to find a position and style that suits us,              Looking for an invisible limit. Bryan and Le              The team has been trying to get out of this restriction, out of them              Have experienced, followed, intoxicated, avoided              A sensitive area that has been and moved by. Although cloth              Leith now has a child named Cody              Zihe ~ a touching wife who maintains a stable relationship with him              One by one wife, son, and teammates are all Bligh              En is deeply loved one by one, but Brian is uneasy in his blood              The molecules make him feel full of emotion and sensitive heart              The world has never changed. Now the "placebo" starts              Putting aside some long-standing conventions, in the new album              Significantly reduced the iconic guitar distortion, the band              Focus boldly with a more fashionable electrified style              With drugs, alcohol, and love, it’s like a giant record jacket              The naked, twisted, and shouting woman, "Ann              The placebo" bravely broke free from the past              System", more calmly standing in the British rock music              front.The growth of the Bone Association Band? I am very happy with the growth of the band. Our growth and success are all through long-term hardship...Shan:1 Linde. It’s been an almost uninterrupted tour for 10 years. This is a relatively old-fashioned way of running Cantonese. "(The tail is also what we like very much. The live performance of the mountain and the constant currency" requires that you can get yourself in it. In the early days of the band’s establishment, we had already decided to deliver the music to our listeners in the most direct way. What do you think of the development of Yaoi’i Gun Music? "Lonz Ferdinand" (1,s,i Pordinand), "Arctic Monkeys" (Arctic Monkeys). "The Kooki"; do you think they really have "material"? Just because they are from the same island does not mean they are anointing Le Buya! What is in common. Of course "Franz Ferdinand" and "Arctic Monkey" must be influenced by the music of IJ Moji {Fei, in my heart! Bu! . He is a very good band in J1IJ4 II. Especially the L tail, "Arctic Monkey r", their "material" lies in the quality of their Shule creations. They are very humorous, full of the strong vitality of the factory, modern city, and very British creative style. What they are telling Very interesting, but also very "human", very    A true story is a very realistic expression Present form. I think if the "street boy" (The Streets) is a rock band, they          '   It will be the "Arctic Monkey". I personally have always been very happy   Happy "Franz Ferdinand", from their first    An album begins. They are from Scotland and also   It brings another kind of cultural experience.      What I want to say is that although there are so many    Success bands are all from the UK, but they don’t    Not necessarily have something in common, nor is it necessarily    It means that rock music in the UK will be more    Good or worse. Good is good, bad is good    Is bad, there is no need to divide by region   Standards.      What kind of concept do you hold on creation?      We are a rock band, just like I    We are a modern rock music    team. We enjoy using various tools and equipment    The possibility of creating music. Rock music is not only    It’s a simple guitar with electronic elements    Not only can be used in a certain kind of special music    In the category. The key to its function depends on you    How to use it and how to integrate it better   In your own music category.     Was the grunge trend in the U.S.    Has any influence on you or a British band? You like   Is Grunge Fun?     I never really liked it   Grunge, I have never heard of "Nirvana" (Nirvana)    Music until Kurt Coben (Kurt Cobain) passed away. For me, "nirvana"     Too mainstream T0 I am more interested in those very Alternative bands, like "Sonic Youth" (Sonic Youth), or the late 70s, 80s   Post-punk band in the early years.      What do you think of as a British band   American culture?      We ourselves think that "placebo" is a    European bands. Of course we were founded in London.    Half of my blood is Scottish, history of drummer   The name "Friend (Steve Hewitt) is of British descent,   Stefan Olsdal is a Swedish. We   Speaks many languages, Stephen speaks 5 languages,    I speak French and English. We grew up in Europe  There are K people from the I1 family in Zhou, we see ourselves as Europeans,    I don’t think I have any special UK   Pity. We can, will historically and geographically    The music of the country and the era is biased. Ok    Meeting the music and blood should be interpreted, and it is truly   I found it at Ill lii.} I don’t care if the music comes from Which country, as long as it can move people. but I I want to say: "I'm very happy that I will be in Europe Life".   Countless tours and publicity all over the world make people Enjoy it?   I enjoy the tour, but not the publicity. But it is equally important. In the past 10 years, We have been through live performances all over the world Accumulated a group of very loyal and sincere fans. Every year, the number of our fans grows very much View. Although it takes a lot of time to do this, it also gives me We added a lot of fun.   You know there are many "placebos" in China Fans? They are very obsessed with "placebo" The violent distortion guitar and your charming voice, even Even when playing the piano is hot, many fans want to know the invitation, What do you think of your fans.   Ah, haha, of course I hope so. "I must wait until Ij comes to Beijing in September to learn about Chinese musicWhat a fan is like, I look forward to it very much.   It’s not just heterosexual people. Placement", many gays also like you We, what do you think is the reason that makes "Ann Does "Placement" attract different fascinating groups?   Great! I think this is great! I think For our honesty in emotions and the truth in life Desire to communicate, um, if our music can move people, it must be physically,There are three aspects, both mentally and emotionally.    You are now a father What kind of impact? The kind of perplexed and perverted Dong Is Xijijing completely far away from you?   Honestly, no. As for myself Those who are confused and perverse, maybe less A little bit. But now there is another person Let me care, need my protection, so that it will not be this Hurt by a huge bad world.   You have always loved to dress up, you still Do you love applying black nail polish to yourself?   I have not bought black nail polish for many years Yes, but I still paint eyeliner and eye shadow. I do Did not try to do anything special through these performances Communication, in addition to thinking that people should dress up, Freedom in dress, choice and preference, not affected by Constrained by any established standard. If hard If any message is conveyed, it is freedom. But I do this entirely because I like it, I think I look great like that, like a The mentality of a lady with makeup.  How do you think a man should make his evening watch more cultured and tasteful? I think in the 21st century, men should be free, Wear what they like and dress up like they like Huan look. In comparison, women are more They can wear skirts or they can wear Pants, they can make up or not, They can look bright and beautiful, or they can watch Go up and take control. In the 20th century, men’s The choice has become so small. Looking back, Louis France in the fourteenth period, and the restoration period In Great Britain, men used to love makeup that much, Their clothes are so gorgeous and they look so good elegant. So we just trace the roots in history.  The media will use it when evaluating "placebo" Keep your eyes on such things as "male and female", "gorgeous", ) If you have to symbolize, how can you give yourself Has it been defined and classified?  A modern rock band. A 21 The modern rock band of the century. Let me show you and all Some magazine readers confirmed that "placebo" is not Hermaphrodite, the "placebo" members are all men, Everyone is.

In addition to work, the three of you often Play together? The three of us spend time together Family and love have more time. So when we After we got home, we gave all the time Family material lover, ha ha. Can you chat online? No, it never happened. I know net Some people on the network will call themselves Brian Mok, Husband ,,’’No~1 million That would definitely not be me. If you are online I met someone like that and I visited Brian Mo But my blog or Myspace, I read my Diary, you have to believe that it is definitely a lie. I Will not publish their life information on the Internet, I am a privacy-conscious person. What's the story of the performance in China this time ? What are your expectations for the Chinese record market What? Just like going to Thailand and Korea, through hosting Party’s invitation, we’ll come and we know people We like our music, so we can play for them We are also very happy to play. As for the record market, I Really have no idea. I just look forward to acting I hope to bring an outstanding performance. Please describe you in one word or sentence " 3 people. Just one sentence. Have you seen "Starship Fans Is this TV show "Star Trek"? Oh, your country may not broadcast it. Stephen It's "Mr. Spock" (Mr. Spock) It’s ‘Dr. McCoy’ and I’m "K Captain Kirk" (Captain Kirk)

[knightsandjedis]

Let the pettiness commence

Let me be frank here when stating that if the quarantine weren’t happening I would probably remain the type of blogger to just re-blog posts without commenting or making my own posts. I enjoy looking at things more than commenting what can I say? I should say thanks and welcome to all the followers I’ve gained these past few years. You all are awesome and hope you all are staying safe during these troublesome times!

Alright, I’m going from civil to petty here and I should forewarn you if you’re a fan of Sarah J. Maas and her novels you’ll prefer to stay away then listen to my rant. Just being polite and giving a heads up.

Listen, there are periods where atrocious books become a major part of trending pop culture. Eventually, the hype dies down and people can take a deep inhale of relief. Around the 2010s time-period, the hype was focused on Twilight books. No matter where you went you felt suffocated by the hyper-fixation people had on this series. I’ll be honest I was an avid Twilight lover for a period until I wised up and had to recognize these books are horrendous and having a bad influence on teens during my era. Teens were getting Aids from drinking each other’s blood literally, they were drinking someone’s blood literally. While they’re still popular main society’s attention has begun to wane.

Pop culture has an new interest in Sarah J. Maas’s series: Throne of Glass (ToG) and A Court of Thorns and Roses (ACOTAR). At one time I was part of the fan-base obsessed with her books. During a bleak period where every book I purchased ending up a dud despite strong premises; Maas’s first books, in both series, were a breath of fresh air. They had characters you found hysterical and enjoyed the story-lines (even though the storytelling was meh at times) and you couldn’t help anticipating future novels to see where the novels took these characters. Both series died for me at the books: Queen of Shadows and A Court of Mist and Fury.

These novels were my wake-up call to Maas’ manipulative storytelling patterns and her inconsistent characterizations. She completely morphs characters depending on the scenario. A noble, decent character is turned heinous to either add unnecessary drama or to make readers turn their affections towards another character Maas’ manipulates into becoming “the hero”- typically a love interest. Usually, the first-or second in TOG- love interests are noble characters with a few flaws but nothing to make readers despise them other than the fact they’re not the prettiest men in the series. Literally, readers adore the male characters that are otherworldly attractive than an average looking male who is humane and unproblematic. Problematic much? The message I’m receiving is you should fall in love with a pretty face rather than explore the person’s entire being (this includes past history, personality, characterization, etc).

People will say I’m petty because I’m annoyed Chaol and Tamlin did not remain the love interests. This is absolutely untrue. I’m annoyed Maas had to pull absolute garbage reasoning out of her ass to make the characters despicable.

Let’s start with Throne of Glass. Celaena (I refuse to call her Aelin because the name visually repulses me, it sounds like something Maas stole out of better high fantasy novels) realizes she doesn’t find Dorian compatible and finds Chaol more of an equal. Chaol has flaws but his main one seems to be he’s good-looking but only average in comparison to Dorian and Rowan- whose sex on legs apparently. Maas realizes people will deny Rowan as a love interest (after he gets into a punching match with Celaena) so she has to make Celaena despise Chaol and interact towards him with hostility despite her recognition Chaol had his reasoning's for certain events in previous novels. Then, Maas takes Chaol’s character, who is known for being awkward around women and loyal to a fault, and make him have one night stands, cheating on women, and apparently the scapegoat for everything that goes wrong because Celaena can’t own up she made mistakes. Nehemia also died to give Celaena that necessary push to go against the king but it’s entirely Chaol’s fault for Nehemia’s death since Celaena can do no wrong. Horseshit I say.

Dorian is not a match, Chaol is the bane of Celaena’s existence so Rowan is her champion. Gag. I actually liked Rowan in Heir of Fire but I found it repulsive how Celaena keeps throwing herself at him in Queen of Shadows and growing dependent on him. When she put him in a bath and started throwing her favorite shampoos in I found it to be the most awkward scene. It’s a moment someone with limited knowledge of sexual encounters would conjure up. “Let me give my love interest a bubble bath!” I’ve read these type of bath scenes in other novels but they’re more maturely done. Although I have to remember these books are written for teens. Then, they become mates. A contradicting setup because he had a mate in the past. But, no one is compatible unless they’re mates in Maas’ world. So, mates are stuck together and seem to have a servant/master relationship in certain portions of the stories. Yuck, just yuck.

Readers if you have to state someone is someone else’s mate so you’re aware they’re a thing then it’s probably not a healthy relationship since you’re staying they own that person in Maas’ world-building.

I’m going to stop while I’m ahead when writing about Rowan and Caelena because they repulse me. Buuuttt not to the same extent as Feyre and Rhysand. I absolutely despise these characters with every fiber of my being. This is one of the most unhealthiest relationships I’ve ever read. Before I jump into why they’re disgusting let me just say I love how everybody hopped on the Feyre adoration bandwagon only when she got into a relationship with Rhysand. Nobody liked her until she got.into.a.relationship.with.Rhysand. Wow!

Listen, I understand why Feyre couldn’t stay with Tamlin after what he did (ahem what Maas decided he should do). However contradictory Tamlin’s characterization was the relationship had turned unhealthy. Yetttt, no one batted an eye with Rhysand was giving Feyre date rape drugs, forcing her to give him lap dances making her sick when she came out of the haze, and her being entirely repulsed when he made-out with her. Plus, I read Rhysand as a gay or bi character when he was introduced. I think he would be a better character as a gay male seeking a friendship than their disgusting love story. He goes from giving her roofies and at least seeming like a morally gray character to Feyre’s champion. Yeah, not buying the bullshit.

I pity Tamlin’s character truly- he was butchered beyond recognition. He goes from allowing Feyre to wander to her heart’s extent- as long as she wasn’t in dangerous areas- to locking her up because he thought it made sense. He’s suddenly possessive of her in the most disgusting ways (but Rhysand isn’t possessive in the slightest even when he calls Feyre his “mate!”). All these details were added to make Rhys’ character more heroic. Rhys goes from being a somewhat tolerable character in his actions to a fucking messiah. Rhysand goes from roofie expert to whisking Feyre away for her own safety. Rhysand assists Feyre under the mountain unlike Tamlin! (Because the queen didn’t give a shit about Rhysand and he wasn’t under her radar to the extent as Tamlin). He loves reading stories with Feyre unlike Tamlin. (Hmm, Tamlin offers to teach Feyre to read which she stubbornly refuses because she’s independent but Rhysand forces her to learn and he’s romantic!). And gasp, Tamlin ended up being the one who murdered Rhysand’s family hence their animosity (hahahaha how desperate are you Maas, I mean seriously how pathetic). Feyre, just like Caelena, was forced into this relationship with another abuser painted as a hero in storytelling. Rhysand and Rowan are constructed into heroes to make their disgusting actions justifiable in comparison to Chaol and Tamlin’s ruined characters.

I’m mostly focused on the main relationships since that’s all I keep hearing about. Changing subjects briefly, Maas’ does not acknowledge PoC or LGBTQIA unless readers are pointing out lack of representation. If they’re introduced you’re guaranteed either they die to promote the white lead’s agenda or forced to become a villain. What kind of statement does that make, Maas???? Also, her world-building is beyond odd. Random characters get introduced in weird scenarios that she has to force into the story-line just for sprucing purposes (Manon and the 12 and the 12 princesses from Earth or whatever). Really, what were the purposes of these characters???? And these kingdoms are written so bad. One realm has everyone wearing Renaissance era clothing while the next realm has people dressing hipster I mean wtf?

The reason for my rant is that I needed to get it out of my system. Lately, I cannot get away from these garbage novels. I’m on my Kindle the books are recommended. I’m on Goodreads her books are recommended and keep winning Book of the Year despite better novels being on the same list. I go on Facebook someone mentions deciding to give the series a spin under quarantine. I’m on tumblr (if you’re a fan then that’s fine, enjoy what you love) and artwork keeps popping up. I love it’s typically Feyre giving Rhysand lap-dances in the earlier part of the series where she’s desolate and sicken by these moments. People are quite forgetful when they want to ignore something in order to make Rhysand babe. I wish I knew how to block anything Sarah J Maas on here because I’m trying to escape. I want to read other authors’ novels and not have Maas’ smug face pop up on my recommendation lists. (Her books are on every list on Goodreads- every freaking list!) Hopefully, when quarantine ends the hype will quiet again but I’m getting ticked off here.

Just had to get it off my chest. I’ll probably go back to quietly ignoring the recommendations and artwork but I’m having a moment here.

[sstthings]

President John Tyler - by Dr. Lyon Gardiner Tyler

My granddaddy, John Tyler, was President of the US way back in 1841-45.  He was born in 1790, 228 years ago.  My Aunt Pearl died in 1947 at a ripe old age and whose grandfather was John Tyler, Sr., the president’s father, who was born in 1747. This marvel, that 3 generations could span 200 years, was written up in Ripley’s Believe It or Not.  My “little 89 year old brother” and I are already at the 228 year old mark.

 I heard too much about presidents growing up. A few years ago I met a lady who told me that she had come to our house in Virginia when I was probably 3 or 4 years old and I met her at the front door.  She said that she had asked me, “Are you going to be President when you grow up?” and I said, “I’ll bite yo head off.”  She said she said “And what will you do with the bones?” and I replied, “I’ll pit ‘em out!”  In college, a buddy of mine brought me down to earth by saying, “Tyler, the best part of your family is underground.”  I had to agree.

 John Tyler was President of the United States from 1841-45.   He agreed with the principles of the Jeffersonian tradition of limited federal government, strict construction of the Constitution and fiscal frugality. He opposed the American System of Henry Clay and John Quincy Adams, which advocated federal building of roads and canals, a Bank of the United States, controlled by private interests, and a high tariff on imported goods. Tyler believed in the so-called “manifest destiny” of the United States to expand across the continent and to help. the blessings of freedom__  and democracy around the world.

 John Tyler’s father, also named John, was Thomas Jefferson’s roommate at the College of William and Mary.  Jefferson and John Tyler, Sr. shared the same political views, played their fiddles together in college and remained life-long friends.  John Tyler, Sr. was speaker of the House of Burgesses, and he and Patrick Henry organized a militia company just prior to the American Revolution.  John, Sr., served in the Virginia legislature, where he made the motion that eventually led to the United States Constitutional Convention.  He also served successively as Judge of the Admiralty Court, the General Court and the Supreme Court of Appeals, as well as on the U.S. District Court at President Jefferson’s urging.  He also was Governor of Virginia.  He had 8 children.  After his wife died, when the future President was just seven years old, the father took care of all of them, besides serving as surrogate father for 15 or 20 foster children. A busy man! 

John Tyler entered the College of William and Mary at age 13 and graduated soon after his 17th birthday.  He gave the Valedictory address, remarkably, about the importance of women’s rights – especially in the field of education. 

Before I attempt to discuss Tyler’s presidency, let me say a few words about his previous career and some things that can show us the kind of man he was:John Tyler was a state legislator in his early 20’s. Then he was a congressman, Governor of Virginia and US Senator.  As a senator he was a loyal Democrat, but was disturbed by some of President Andrew Jackson’s over-reactions, similar to his earlier unauthorized invasion of Spanish Florida and his later reaction to the South Carolina attempt to nullify the Federal tariff when Jackson threatened to hang John C. Calhoun, his Vice President.  

Both Jackson and Tyler opposed the recharter of the Bank of the United States, a privately owned bank which kept the government’s funds, but Tyler thought Jackson had gone too far when he removed the government’s money from the bank before its charter expired and put it in state banks which had supported him, hence known as Jackson’s “pet banks.” 

Tyler in his campaign for the U.S. Senate had stated that as a Senator he would obey the instructions that might be given him by the state legislature.  But he would soon face a dilemma concerning that promise.  The US Senate had adopted a resolution to censure Jackson for removing the funds from the Bank.  Then the Virginia legislature instructed Tyler to support a measure that would rescind the censure, which he felt was wrong because Jackson had broken the law.  At the same time Tyler could not go back on his campaign promise to obey the state legislature.  So he resigned and made this statement:By the surrender of the high station to which I was called by the people of Virginia, I shall teach them to regard as nothing place or office, when either is to be obtained or held at the sacrifice of honor.President John F. Kennedy included John Tyler in his Profiles of Courage for this incident.

It was always his children who were his primary concern.  In his letters to his many sons and daughters the need for honesty is a regular refrain.  Hear, for example, this from a letter to his son, John, Jr., back in 1832:

Truth should always be uttered no matter what the consequences.  Nothing so degrades a man as equivocation and deceit.  When I am in company with a double-dealing man – one who has one language on his tongue and another in his heart—I am involuntarily made to avoid him as I would a poisonous reptile.  Trust such a person with not even the slightest circumstance on earth; for he will deceive you, if it be to his interest to do so.  Learn then, my son, to speak the truth always.  By doing so in trifling matters, it will grow into a habit from which you will not afterwards separate yourself.

In the words of a toast once offered to Tyler, he was a man “too firm to be driven from his principles—too upright to be swerved by the laws of ambition or power.”  Indeed he was known as “Honest John.”

In 1840, the Whigs chose as their candidate William Henry Harrison, former Governor of the Indiana Territory, and victor over the Indians in the Battle of Tippecanoe and then the British in Canada in the War of 1812.  For the Vice Presidential spot Henry Clay and the Whig Party settled on John Tyler of Virginia, hoping he could attract disgruntled Democrats.

It’s interesting that the future President Harrison and Vice President Tyler in this election grew up in the same small Virginia County just ten miles apart.  Actually through Tyler’s mother they were kin.  Through my mother’s side I am not descended from President Harrison, but I am from his father, Benjamin Harrison, Governor of Virginia and signer of the Declaration of Independence.

The Whig campaign of 1840 was the first modern campaign with all the trimmings: buttons and banners, songs and slogans.  The Whig slogan “Tippecanoe and Tyler too,” really meant, “We’ll give you Harrison, a war hero.  He’s for a strong national government, roads and canals, a national bank, and a high tariff, but if you don’t like that; we’ll give you Tyler. He’s for states’ rights and against all that other stuff.

The Whigs won easily and Harrison became president, but Harrison had already given away the store.  He had agreed to be a one-term president and to have just one vote in the Cabinet which was to be hand-picked by Henry Clay, but Harrison died of pneumonia a month after the election.  Nobody, including John Tyler, expected that he’d become president. The Whigs in Congress were shocked.  They refused to recognize Tyler as the real president, since this was the first time a president had died in office. 

But Tyler believed that according to the Constitution he was the President and he was determined to be President.  He would make the decisions.  He would not promise to let Henry Clay run the show.  As a matter of fact when Henry Clay showed up to tell the Accidental President whom to appoint and how to conduct his office, Tyler thundered, “You go, Mr. Clay, to your end of the Avenue where stands the Capitol and there do your duty as you see fit and, so help me God, I will do mine at this end of the Avenue as I see fit.”  From then on Clay had the votes but Tyler had the vetoes. 

Tyler’s first act as President was to proclaim a National Day of Fasting and Prayer, to mourn the death of President Harrison, in which he stated, “When a Christian people feel themselves to be overtaken by a great public calamity, it becomes them to humble themselves under the dispensation of Divine Providence, to recognize His righteous government over the children of men… and to supplicate His merciful protection for the future.”

If Tyler had gone along with Clay and the Whig majority in Congress he could have had an easy road and many would have deemed his presidency successful.  But he refused to take the easy road.  He vetoed the bill to re-charter the Bank of the United States and the Whigs read him out of the Party.  The veto caused his Cabinet to resign, except for Daniel Webster, his Secretary of State.  Instead Tyler proposed a banking system with a Board in Washington and branches in various parts of the country, a system almost identical to the Federal Reserve System which was subsequently adopted in 1913.

Tyler was unable to do much of anything in the domestic area, but his administration is being increasingly recognized for his accomplishments in foreign affairs, including the settlement of the boundary line between the United States and Canada over half way across the continent. Tyler invoked the Monroe Doctrine to prevent the British and French from taking over the Hawaiian Islands.  He sent the first American mission to China, which resulted in a treaty in 1844, opening for the first time the profitable trade between the two countries and granting American citizens in China extraterritoriality, the right to be governed by their own laws and not those of China.   Tyler pushed through the annexation of Texas at very end of his administration by the novel use of a joint resolution by both houses of Congress.

Tyler’s first major biographer called him a Champion of the Old South – but I believe that is “incorrect.”  Tyler had troubling doubts about slavery and never saw it as a positive good, though he was a slave owner.   In 1832 he had introduced a bill to end the slave trade in the District of Columbia.  He was also president of the Virginia Colonization Society, which aimed to resettle freed slaves in Liberia.

Tyler’s administration was hog-tied but its social life excelled.  His first wife Letitia Christian, a beautiful Christian woman, was an invalid when Tyler became president and died during his second year in office.  His daughter-in-law, Priscilla Cooper Tyler, then served as White House hostess, with the help of former first lady, Dolly Madison. 

Tyler’s second wife was Julia Gardiner, my grandmother, a 24 year old debutante and beauty from Long Island, New York, who married the President when he was 54.  Tyler was completely captivated by her vivacity, good humor, poise and stamina.  When someone asked him if he wasn’t too old for her, he replied, “Well, I’m in my prime.”  The reply was “When she’s in her prime, where will your prime be?”  But John Tyler kept his into his seventies, later siring seven more children by her.

There was tragedy in their love affair, however.  The navy had a new ship, the “Princeton, which was equipped with a huge new cannon dubbed the “Peace Maker.”  The President, his cabinet, and all the important people in Washington were invited to a cruise down the Potomac.  The cannon was fired when they passed Mount Vernon and everyone retired below for food and music.  On the return trip someone suggested they fire the cannon again.  Most of the people went up on deck but the President and Miss Gardiner stayed to hear one more song.  The cannon was fired and it exploded killing the Secretary of State Abel P. Upshire, the Secretary of the Navy Thomas Gilmer, and others, including Miss Gardiner’s father.  She fainted at the tragic news and President Tyler carried her down the gangway and sent her to the White House.  Soon afterwards they eloped to New York City and were married there. 

Tyler’s new young bride, Julia Gardiner Tyler, was a great political asset.  The Whigs called Tyler “a man without a party,” but most everyone in Washington turned out for Julia’s parties.  Julia had made the grand tour of Europe and had been presented at royal courts.  She had been the first woman ever to be featured in a newspaper ad.  She was called the Rose of Long Island.

After John Tyler retired, the couple went back to Virginia to the place he had purchased during his term in office. For a time he was very unpopular but he harbored no bitterness and he eventually regained the respect and admiration of the people of his state.  Since he had incurred the displeasure of both parties and since he was accused of being an outlaw like Robin Hood, he renamed his plantation “Sherwood Forrest.” Julia made the plantation the social center of Charles City County.  She decorated and they enlarged the dwelling until at 100 yards in length, it became the longest frame house in America.  John and Julia had seven children to go with the eight that he had produced in his first marriage.  The ex-president loved children.  He never tired of them, took them hunting, fishing, riding and boating.  On summer evenings, he would play the fiddle and sing with the black and white children.

He ran the farm himself.  There were no whips, lashes, or brutal overseers.  He saw that the slaves were adequately fed, clothed and honored.  He would not sell any or break up families. 

My great, great grandfather on my mother’s side was Edmund Ruffin, known as the “Father of scientific agriculture in America.”  He was the same age as the ex-president but two more generations back from me.  He had opposed Tyler, but he came to visit and was captivated by him.  Ruffin would give up farming and research for politics.  He was to be one of the fire-eaters who stirred up the South to Secession and he hated Yankees.  He would wrap himself in a Confederate flag and commit suicide after the South lost the war and leave these last words in his diary, “Would that I could bequeath these words to every Southerner living or yet to be born, to have no traffic with Yankees nor any political, social or business dealings with the vile, perfidious and malignant Yankee race.”

Nevertheless, Ruffin could recognize virtue even though he could not seem to exercise it.  In spite of all the ex-President’s enemies, Ruffin had hardly heard an unkind or hostile remark from Tyler and he would confide to his diary after the ex-President’s death in 1862 these thoughts: “How difficult and how much worse would I have acted in this their situation.  I should have returned these undeserved manifestations of hostility, and of ingratitude, with scorn, contempt and hatred.  I would have so increased and kept alive and increasing, the hostile feelings of all other persons to me - and I should have become a miserable misanthrope, living and dying without a friend.  But more wiser and more politic was John Tyler.” Ruffin would even say that John Tyler completely exemplified the description of love as found in St. Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians.

After Henry Clay died, Tyler spoke at his memorial service.  Tyler admitted that “We gave each other a few bruises, but he was a great man.”  He noted Clay’s many accomplishments including his work in effecting the Compromises of 1820 and 1850, which helped to keep the nation together for a considerable time.

When the Deep South states seceded Tyler pleaded with the Virginia legislature to call a meeting of the Border States to try and form a bridge between the two sections.  But the state delayed and invited all the states to what was called the “Peace Convention” which sought to find a way to restore the Union and prevent a war.  John Tyler addressed the assembly in this manner:” Our godlike fathers created; we have to preserve; they built up.  You have a new task equally grand, you have to preserve the Government and to renew and invigorate the Constitution.  If you reach the height of this great occasion, your children’s children will rise up and call you blessed.”

But it was too late.  On the same date the convention met at the Willard Hotel in Washington, the seven Deep South states met in Montgomery, Alabama, to establish the Confederate States of America.  President elect Abraham Lincoln soon after arrived in the Capitol City in disguise for fear of assassination and told Tyler that it was too late to reconcile the sections, that the die was already cast.

When Virginia seceded Tyler saw no other course than to stick with his state.  Elected to the Confederate Congress, he died suddenly before he could take his seat in 1862.

The unknown President could be an example to us all.  We might ponder these observations from people who knew him:

“An honest, affectionate, benevolent, loving man, who had fought the battles of his life bravely and truly, doing his whole great duty without fear, though not without much unjust reproach.” (Henry A. Wise)

“A career which for rapidity in achievement, consistency of conduct, and exalted moral character, finds few equals, and no superior in the annals of American history.”  (George L. Christian)

On the grave marker of his horse “General,” John Tyler wrote these words:  “He never stumbled.  Would that his master could say the same.”  John Tyler was not perfect, but he came close.

[onthesandsofdreams]

The Knight & The Dragon King

Fandom: Rogue One Pairing: Cassian x Jyn Rating: T Summary:  Cassian remembers the first time he saw his father turn into a dragon. He had been a child of six, and he had stood in silent awe as his father turned into a magnificent beast. Dark green and horned, but the eyes had not changed at all, they were the same soft brown his father had, kindness written in them. Words: 1415 Notes: Chapter 2. [My link to ao3 will direct you to chapter 1]

Read @ AO3 | Previous Chapter

Cassian remembers the first time he saw his father turn into a dragon. He had been a child of six, and he had stood in silent awe as his father turned into a magnificent beast. Dark green and horned, but the eyes had not changed at all, they were the same soft brown his father had, kindness written in them.

“We have been blessed, my son,” his father had told him after he returned to human form. “We have been given a chance to keep our people safe, for what can take down a dragon?”

“Nothing can, papa!” That had been his reply.

For all the good the dragon shifting had done his father. It had struck down as ironic that Jeron Andor, King of Fest would die from illness. He’d been ten, his mother had become his regent, and he had the court’s mage a kind witch by the name of Ahsoka Tano teach him the mysteries of shifting as much as she could, given that she herself was not a shifter. Fortunately, his forefathers had written down everything, so all the Andor bloodline would be well informed.

He had first shifted into a dragon two years later. His mother had given him a sad look, “Your father would have been proud, my son. I am very proud.”

Only those high in command were allowed to know about the shifting. The high council too, it was necessary and something that never left the palace walls. Those who vied for positions of power, were put through trials that meant to weed out those who would take the easy way out. Ahsoka would oversee them.

But shifting into a dragon was not the only thing he learned. He was taught to use the sword, the bow and arrow, how to brew potions as he had not inherited his mother’s magic, he learned politics, how to farm and fish, how to sew and mend. He was the King of Fest, and his duty was to be able to be a father to his people.

So, he does what he knows he must. Throws himself to learn everything, he trains until his arms ache, he listens to his people, lets them know him in turn, mends his clothing and doesn’t complain anytime the needle meets his fingers, he hunts and gives the animal to those who lack food. He spends hours going over treaties, laws and whatever is put in front of him, if only to make sure that his people are well taken care off.

He also trains his dragon form.

He spends hours learning how to shift, hours learning to lift himself of the ground with his wings, hours how to summon fire and blast it away. He does everything that he’s supposed to do, because he knows that the time will come that he will have to march into battle and defend his people.

The man called Palpatine and his nascent empire are slowly taking over. And he will be damned if he lets Fest fall. So he trains like there’s no tomorrow.

He actually wins his first battle at fifth teen. It’s not a full battle, if he’s completely honest, it’s more like a small skirmish, but he wins it all the same in human form. He sees no need to shift into a dragon and burn his enemies away. Not yet anyway. He’d also like to have a surprise waiting for Palpatine should the man come calling. Or for the wizard only known as Vader.

Then a slight problem arises, when Ahsoka asks what is he going to do if he’s needed in battle in dragon form, but should be seen leading his army. The solution comes to him surprisingly easy, a decoy. They find a man who has the same proportions as he does, someone loyal to Fest and himself. So, the people will see their King armored, helmet closed ride to battle and then, they will see the dragon come. Ahsoka can cast a spell to make the decoy’s voice sound like him. Ahsoka laughs, “Well thought out, Cassian.”

He’s always wondered why his people can’t be told he’s the dragon. “Because, that would make you a bigger target,” Ahsoka tells him with a hint of sadness. “With you dead, it would be easier to sow discord.”

He can see the wisdom in her words. So he listens and never tells anyone but those who work directly with him about the shitfing. He bonds with his guards, those closest to himself and makes a small family.

Then, he looses his mother to Palpatine. She was making a diplomatic visit on his name, when an assassin caught with her, poison in her cup. It takes all his might not to turn into a dragon and burn down everything. Ahsoka, bless her heart, holds him and lets him cry until he has no more tears; she only rubs his back and sings lullabies to him. He falls asleep, exhausted.

His mother’s death only spurns him forward. He pushes himself onward, he trains harder, he fortifies Fest, continues his work for his people and above all things, he works on his shifting and dragon abilities. Ahsoka tells him she’s proud of him, that he is doing both his parents proud, he believes her, because Ahsoka has never lied to him. Even when it would be for the best, she has never lied and he is grateful for that. His work makes him deal with people who would lie to him, but it’s a comforting thought to know that at least, Ahsoka will always tell him the truth.

The first full fight against the Empire happens two days after his twenty-first birthday. The celebrations have ended, when late at night, a guard rushes forward with another man upon a horse. He looks at the man, who is bone tired and about to pass out of exhaustion. “Palpatine has sent a force against Fest, your Majesty,” the man speaks. “He wants to test Fest defenses.”

“And how would you know it?” He asks the man

“Because I am a deserter of his army,” the man answers, doesn’t shy away from the gasps that erupt in the hall. “I am tired of seeing the man’s cruelty. He calls it freedom, but it’s nothing more than servitude without any returns. He wants slaves, not people.”

“What is your name?”

“My name, your Majesty, is Kay. Kay Tueso. I was a spy. I know you have no reason to believe me, and I will do whatever I must to prove I speak the truth.”

“Very well, Ahsoka, the truth serum.”

Turns out, the man is being honest. That is when he rushes and calls for an emergency council, informs his generals of the upcoming threat. A small force is put together, his decoy changes into his armor and he rushes towards the tunnel. The tunnel his father once taught him, a special passageway that ends in a cave near the mountains just outside of the walls of Fest.

Once he arrives there, he leaves his horse there and makes for the exit. He looks up, the sun shines and the skies are clear, so he shitfs. One moment he is there in two legs, the next, a large dragon stands where King Cassian Andor once stood. And he takes to the skies, relishes for a moment the freedom that comes from flight.

Watches as his army moves to meet Palpatine’s army. He roars in warning, the men of the Empire in their white and black armors look up, some yell in shock, but he doesn’t care, he flies low enough for them to take a good luck to his form and then, he breathes in and the next exhale is pure fire.

He lays waste to Palpatine’s army, doesn’t touch his men and women. Pretends to pay homage to the king, then once more takes to sky. And that is how his battle begins. A battle that he knows he will fight so long as he lives, he will protect Fest first and foremost, but if he can, he will aid his neighbors too. Palpatine is getting too greedy and he will not allow that man a moment’s peace so long as he breathes.

Cassian Jeron Andor is King of Fest, a dragon shifter, a man who loves his people and the freedom they have, and he swears to himself that he’d rather die than allow them to fall.

[star-anise]

Valdemar AU where Dirk is the senior Empath Talia learns from when she arrives in Haven, and also things are a little bit different about when Gifts manifest and the political climate and stuff. TW: Child abuse and neglect.

Dirk tucked Elspeth in carefully, making sure her favourite toy lay under her hand. He dropped a kiss on the princess's sleeping head, and then came into the sitting room. Talia got up, assuming he'd want to move further off, but he waved her back down onto the couch, and then joined her on it. It was closer than unrelated Holder men and women ever sat, but Talia got the sense he wasn't doing it to be close to her; he wanted the vantage the couch provided on the carved window screens into Elspeth's bedroom.

"Why can't you just do that all the time?" Talia asked.

Dirk grimaced. "A few reasons," he said. "One, I can't go out of about thirty feet of her or she'll wake up again." He waved his hand to demonstrate their close quarters. They were both taking in the kind of quiet murmur Talia had trained herself to use instead of whispering, when she'd first gotten care over the Littles' dormitory and needed to tell the Firstwife something without the Littles hearing. "Two, it's not good to use too often, not on a psychic child. It's a form of attack⁠—a gentle one, but if she learns to accept and give in to it, she'll be very vulnerable to Mind-attack when she's older. She should be learning how set her shields and work her own way out of those mental storms. And to be honest, she's doing a lot better⁠—this is the first time in two weeks I had to do much more than slow her down a bit. But, well." He grimaced. "She saw her mother, and you're new, and it's⁠—all a bit much now." He blew out a breath. "It's a mixed blessing. To some degree, it's good it happened now. She was due for something to happen, and it waited until after Selenay dismissed her servants."

Talia frowned. "Her Majesty said⁠—what's the problem with the servants?"

"They work for the Court," Dirk explained. "They're not⁠—task doesn't go with rank at Court, the way you think it does. They're both from powerful noble families, and they consider it their job to... augment the influence of the Heralds. An heir must understand the needs and perspectives of her non-Heraldic subjects. They understand that right now, she needs MindHealing, but they don't like being reminded of it." Talia bit her lip, and Dirk stretched his hand out and placed it over hers. "I'm keeping watch over what you do. You don't need to understand the politics of it right now. The nobility and the Kingdom understand the value of what we do, by and large, and they do mostly trust us. They just... find the process a little unnerving."

Talia stopped and thought about that. She'd yearned so much to be Chosen. She hadn't really understood what that meant, what a Companion's love could do, but she'd desperately wanted the chance to get away from her family. It felt deeply alien to imagine the rest of the Court mistrusting the Heralds, or suspecting a MindHealing that made Elspeth more able to love, and less wrapped up in the memory of a person who'd done little else but hurt her.

"That's the disconcerting part," Dirk said. It didn't really feel unnatural for him to be responding to her like this. It felt like the moment Rolan found her, like the both of them responding to Elspeth's spurt of terror a very obvious second before Selenay had. It felt like she'd been speaking a language all her life that nobody else could hear, but now somebody had. "The Heraldic bond, the things you can do with Mind-Magic... you have to understand how deeply disruptive it is to the normal course of life here. Children... children are loyal. It's not that they never feel anger towards their parents, but... if you give a child as young as Elspeth the chance to come away from the person who's raised them all their life, they won't. Not Empaths⁠—we're different⁠—but the ordinary child at that age needs that love and approval. It's the pillar their whole life is built around. They'll endure any amount of cruelty if they still believe they can earn it. The Choosing scares people so much because it's like the basic bonds of loyalty and belonging that holds families and households together just disappears⁠—just gone, like that. No matter how much someone loved you before, the Companion's call is just so much more profound, that they... it's as though we could make the whole world fly apart."

"But would they really rather Elspeth still loved somebody who hurt her?"

"No, not like that. Not... they would, but they wouldn't. It would make more sense to them if she did. It would fit with their ordinary expectations for things. It would be terrible, and it would be a catastrophe for the heir to so much power to be vulnerable, emotionally or psychically. But it's not hard for them to think: If we can change Elspeth, what else can we do?"

Talia bit her lip again, thinking about her history lesson that morning: the reign of Arden and Leesa, the High Priest's shift in sympathy away from the Border-Lords. It had shocked her a little to hear Heralds criticize their own members, even ones from two hundred years ago. She hadn't really expected such a lesson to be relevant.

She could sense a kind of deeper feeling in Dirk, a quiet pattern of unhappiness in his general settled calm, so she asked, "Why are Empaths different?"

He sighed a little, but his distress didn't intensify. She felt like she was being led over troubled ground by a more experienced friend. "Ordinary children know they're loved because.. they feel it, they see it. They're held and kissed and cared for. It's their physical senses that tell them. And you can... you know you can still be gentle with a child when you're tired or sad or angry. But Empathic children feel it. We don't just see the smiles; we can feel the irritation behind them. We... non-Gifted parents can try to show love all the time, but we see past it." He smiled sadly, rubbing the back of his hand across his eyes. "There's the advantage that we can pull love from other people⁠—the amount of people we rely on for love is larger. But children... are very difficult to feel love towards all the time."

He knew. He'd known and that was why he said it. The feeling had been in Talia, invisible, all this time, and he'd felt it in her heart and recognized it, a set matching her own. He knew that she felt it. He knew that when he said it, grief and outrage and relief would rise up in her, all at once, clogging her nose with tears, and he was ready for it. The space he made between them for her was like a cage a wild animal paced, before realizing it wasn't actually too large. He grinned a little wryly. Being too anticipated, he knew, was irritating.

"I knew they never really loved me," Talia said. It tried to be so many things at once. I knew, I knew, they lied but I knew, and never with the taste of the faint regret her Father felt when he saw her, the feeling that he should have been there when he was born because he wished he felt the same kind of tenderness for her he felt for her older siblings, but she was just one child too many, hard to tell apart, and loved with the sense that her Grandmother did love her⁠—her Grandmother loved everyone⁠—but it was a very pale, thin, watery sort of love, ladled out with a very even hand. It wasn't the kind of fierce, possessive, joyous love Keldar felt for her children. Nobody had felt for Talia the kind of rapt friendship that sometimes sprung up when children from different Dormitories met. The truth of her life had just very clearly been: Nobody had cared about her very much.

Dirk's history was more complicated⁠—parents who wanted to love him, but found him exasperating and always preferred to love a child a little less him-shaped. What felt in common between them was how being Chosen had been a relief, how being the centre of someone's world, important and deeply loved, had been a relief. It had said to them: Now everyone else can stop trying.

It offended Talia, Dirk's history. She knew that he ought to have been loved. That parents with Empathy could have told when he was merely being honest, not trying to defy them. She could have told that he wasn't play-acting or putting on a sulk when he got upset; he'd been genuinely troubled, even if it made no sense to them why his toys had to go in a certain order or he had to do things first. The sense of that child feeling unloved and alone made her want to teach out into the past and cup him in her hands and say: At least there's me.

He felt the same way about her. It was uncomfortable to realize it; to have someone else look at her as a child, detached and calculating or crying her heart out over an invisible slight, and to say: Yes. Me too. It wasn't just the feelings of love and rest he poured into Elspeth, a mask carefully maintained, a pose held for as long as he could until he faltered; he was trying to hold himself in, not to pour too much into Talia, but still this was him, emotion that sprang straight from the heart and experience that cut to the quick.

The secret, Dirk said in the space between them, articulate in all the ways she wasn't⁠—being very clear in his mind about the sleep he sent Elspeth, the Talia he saw, the things he let Talia see, the clear illustration of his thoughts between them, the things he kept her shielded from⁠—is to feel this love, and then learn to feel it for yourself.

It was like putting your eye up to a closed lantern, and rotating around the outside until the holes fell together and the candle-beam hit you right in the eye. The thought of holding onto this⁠—not just a touch Dirk held out to her, but something she felt for herself every day⁠—was so bright, and implied so much change, that she felt the scars in her mind protest against being pulled too far. That was the secret, he meant: Portioning it out into small enough pieces that she could keep feeling it. Rubbing it into her scars like a salve, and hoping over the seasons, they would soften.

She reached out to Dirk and squeezed his hand, feeling that deep sadness again. Don't give all that love back, she wanted to say. Keep some for yourself.

He smiled, a little ruefully, squeezed back, and let go of her.

He had his own scars, was the feeling she got back. They too protested when he stretched them too far. To feel that love too deep was to take him into chasms of himself he hadn't yet healed⁠—and Talia herself wasn't certain, suddenly, that she wanted to flow that deeply into him. With Rolan tethering her soul, she was suddenly absorbed so much that she wasn't pure liquid, able to pour love into anyone who wanted it. She didn't know, she realized abruptly, if she wanted to love Dirk⁠—or anyone⁠—that much. Anyone but Rolan.

"Leave it," Dirk said. He sent her a brief brush of affection. "This is a lot for the first day. You've done well, Little Bird. This is the training of years, not evenings. Go catch a late dinner and go to sleep. We'll meet again two days from now."

Talia nodded and stood up, and abruptly felt exhausted.

"Mero's holding dinner for you," Dirk told her. "Just go by his kitchen. He knows."

"Thank you," Talia said, shaking her head to fight off the spots that swam in front of her eyes. Stumbling slightly, she made her way out of Elspeth's chambers.

[popculturebuffet]

Jake Reviews Stuff: Bojack Horseman: Horay Todd Episode! (Plus a little bit on girls with slingshots)

Happy final day of pride month everybody! It’s been a hell of a ride.. and not just because the current landscape of the globe feels like hell right now, And to close it out we’re taking a look at an often overlooked segment of the queer community in media: Asexuality. I first learned about asexuality from the web comic girls with slingshots, because I love comic strips as much as comic books and because mainstream media tens to be really bad about telling people about diffrent facets of the lbtqa+ community, proven by the fact It took me till 2010, 18 years into my existince, to learn trans people existed from the long running candian teen drama Degrassi, birthplace of candian rapper Drake despite his damndest attempts to make people forget that, and a show that actually tackled the subject really well and the horrible shit trans people have to put up with, especially at Adam’s age. I also bring it up to apologize for a lack of trans representation of this pride as I scratched my head trying to think of some.. only to forget “oh yeah that really damn good rocko special from last year exists and has been sitting there all month dumbass” as I was writing this. I’m truly sorry and will try to get a review of static cling out sometime in june as an apology. 

Back to Girls with Slingshots though because like with degrassi I want to give it genuine props and a talk here both for teaching me about it and being really good at queer representation in general. We actually meet the comic’s Ace representivie Erin, a shy 19 or 20 year old, when lead and professional dumbass Hazel hired Erin to find out who was dating her friend Jamie.. turns out

Given Jamie had only been dating men up to this point, and her one time with a woman lead to her assuming she wasn’t bisexual,  when Jamie TRIED to tell Hazel what was going on Hazel, being kind of a dim, assumed it was an aaron and Erin decided rather than just you know, show up and let the the hamster in hazel’s brain slowly figure it out to do this. 

Why yes that is a tiny asexual wearing the most transparent graucho marx-ish disguise ever. And why yes Hazel absolutely falls for it and even when Erin outright takes off the disguise it still takes Hazel a good minute to connect the dots. And why yes, this strip is awesome and is worth taking a large amount of time to talk about in an almost entirely unreatled article, more than i’d planned really. But eventually things hit a snag: the two TRIED having sex before Erin left to go to school in london.. and given i’ve out and out admited she’s asexual, you can guess it went badly, with Jamie feeling bad it was so uncomfortable and didn’t talk to her until visting her in london, where the two patched things up: They still loved each other, Erin was simply asexual and Jamie realized she was biromantic.  However this didn’t mean Jamie herself was asexual.. and to Corsetto’s credit she actually fully dealt with this. After Jamie accidently became a meme while complaning about how horny she felt, the two had an honest talk about it, with Erin revealing she was perfectly fine if Jamie hooked up with dudes to satisfy her needs. It was a nice compromise and one of the first times I also learned polyamory wasn’t just something some weird asshole on tv did where he forced three women into what looked like an utterly miserable situation. What i’m saying is polgamy isn’t the same as polyamory and sister wives is objectively terrible and i’ve only seen minutes of it. 

In fact the current daily reprint is up to this storyline and has Erin wing womaning for her girlfriend. And yes I do acknowledge this won’t be a solution for EVERY couple, everyone is diffrent.. it was really nice to show a relationship between two people of diffrent and wildly underrepresented sexual orentations that , rather get into a depressing thunderstorm over something like this, talk it out like adults and work out a resonalbe solution. Hence why I took several paragraphs of something else entirely to get into it. If you want more , check the strip out here. 

https://www.girlswithslingshots.com

Okay now that plot cul de sac is out of the way, though I don’t regret a minute of it, you see the problem: Girls was the exception not the role and media wise, has a small but loyal fanbase. Big shows just didn’t really get that asexuality existed. But then one decided:let’s go let’s do this... so now i’ve talked about something else entirley for a good few paragraphs let’s talk about Bojack horseman Bojack Horseman is, like SU last time, one of the best shows of the last decade animated or otherwise. And like Steven, and adventure time before steven, it changed the game on what a genre of animation could do. See while Animation was going thorugh another renicssance in the 2010′s, it was mostly on the kids side for the first half.. Adult Animation was...

While there were good shows,after all Archer is a child of the 2010′s, bob’s burgers premired shortly after, and venture bros was, and still is, goin.. they were the exception. Family Guy was devloving from a really funny show to a horrible, unfunny mess that was and probably still is the television equilvent of screaming racist and offensive things just to piss people off and thus get attention and Adult Swim hit a slump, with several great shows like metalocalypse slowly leaving, and most that was left were garbage like Mr.Pickles. It .. wasn’t a great time. 

But around half way two shows changed things and most adult animation stood up and took notice; Rick and Morty, which while i’m not as much of a fan these days was and still to some small degree is a really funny show while also having a deeply complex and deeply deconstructed lead. And around the same time. we got Bojack.  As you probably know, Bojack was the tale of Bojack Horseman, a former 90′s sitcom star who starred in Horsin Around, basicaly fully house if uncle joey adopted orphans with bits of other tgif shows mixed in. Also he’s a horse and this world has a mixture of humans and various anthropormphic animals. And they dont’ shy away from that either and use that for a LOT of great jokes. Anyways Bojack is now a washed up asshole whose done tons, and as the show goes on continues to do, terribe things to get where he was, and is now trying to hang on to the scraps of his career. Around him are Princess Caroline, a pink cat and his agent and ex-girlfriend who wants a real realtionshpi , a baby and her career to go somewhere, Mr. Peanutbutter, Bojack’s dim aquantince who was on a ripoff show (which only PB seems not to get and is even called “Untitled horsing around ripoff project” at first in a flashback) and is really nice but also really bad at reading people, Diane, PB’s wife for most of the series who soon becomes bojack’s friend when she’s hired to do his autobigoraphy, and today’s subject, Todd, a 20 something cloudcuckoolander who crashed on Bojack’s couch after a party, and just.. never left since Bojack thought todd was kicked out for being gay and brought him in for brownie points (he was just lazy), and then despite insulting Todd constanlty kept him around because he was crushingly lonely and before Diane, had no other friends.  There’s obviously more to it. more evolutions but as the episode title shows, today’s ep is all about Todd, so we’ll be focusing on what he’s been up to: Todd spent most of the first two seasons just kinda.. bouncing around. Whlie the a-plots could be more serious, most todd plots were wacky palette cleansears, from him ending up in jail and trying to court two gangs at once like it was that one episode of family ties every sitcom sense has copied, made a giant copy of his own head over months, or started a safe cab company for women that somehow ended up as stripper cabs. Season 3 however added more weight: Bojack’s various slights against Todd were piling up, and he was starting to get tired of it, the straw that broke the camel’s back coming when Todd’s ex emily, who todd failed to sleep with because he didn’t want to but, not knowing what an asexual even was, couldn’t comincate with it and bojack having a really bad track record of thinking with his dick.. you can kinda see what happened.

Finding out much later, after Bojack used emily telling him not to as an easy way out of telling him and both were kinda stupid with that, and Todd eventually found out something happened.. but when Bojack tells him it was sex, Todd is genuinely suprised and had, for the last time expected better of him. Really Todd is a great deconsturction of the wacky sidekick in shows like this: the often abused optimist oppisite of the pesmist asshole protaganist. But here it shows.. that can only go on  so long. You can only treat a person like dogshit so many times before they grow tired of you and as Todd prepares to move out and bum around somewhere else we get one of the most iconic, and best, scenes in the series as Todd unloads on bojack after the horse tries apologizing.. couched in excuses. 

“It’s you bojack, it’s alwasy eben you” This scene hit like a truck, not just due to Aaron Paul absolutley killing it, but because as someone with a bad habit, even sometimes falling back into it, of justifying why I did something bad afterwords or blaming other people for far too long, if not NEARLY to the extent bojack did, it resonated. Sure those kinds of things may have LEAD you to the things you do but sometimes, your just doing shitty things and no amount of reason for it makes it okay. And it was a bold step to take: while the two talked on occasion and their friendship KINDA regrew, it never REALLY recovered from this. Things didn’t go back in the bottle. Bojack lost one of his best friends as his friend.. they were in the same orbit but it’d never be the same.  Todd did eventually tell Emiliy what he was dealing with and Emily told him what he was, and Todd started crashing on mr.peanutbutter’s couch because, unsuprisingly, the two eventually became close friends. So with Emily out of the picture, while she liked todd she needded sex and neither of them thought of an open relationship, that’s where we find Todd, grapling with his asexuality while getting into his usual wacky misadventures, which hadn’t and would never stop, as evidenced by the horrifying sex robot he created to try and please emily in a later season. So with all of that FINALLY out of the way. we can finally dig into horay todd episode after the read more. Because while i’m going to try doing that less to get more readers.. this episode is giant just at the introduction and is a half an hour long. 

We open with an orchestra, nervous Todd won’t show up for his solo.. because of course Todd’s a regular part of an orchestra now. He shows up in time to do his bit on the triangle, cheers all around

Att the bar, the various musicians wonder just who Todd is. Was in a prison gang? (Yes two in fact as stated above) A foreign prince?? ( He looked just like one and they swapizesd for an episode), a tech billionare? (For all of five minutes) Or is he both?... there isn’t a both here I don’t know why I did that. However the conductor roars in, he’s a lion, .. and it’s keith david everybody!

As you can probably wager Keith David is a faviorite of mine, one of the best voice actors around, a fantastic live actor, and just all around awesome dude.. and still pretty damn hot at 64. And while this is a minor role, ANY time keith david shows up is cause for celebration and I honestly forgot he was in this, so it was a nice suprise. 

We then find out how the two know each other, with the conductor calling Todd “The most giving man he’s ever known.” Accurate. Todd once saved his pregnant daughter from a shipwreck carrying her on his back, delivered said baby on a piece of driftwood then circumcised said baby while hanging from a rescue copter.. and also had a spirited but respectful debate before hand about how circumcion had fallen out of vouge, with them eventually deciding on it since the lions are jewish and she’d like the option for the baby to join the relgion if he so chooses when they grow up. Which is both a great gag and a nice nod to circumcisons not being popular these days, and makes todd even awesome. I mean not every man would not only be repsectful when talking to a mother about this, but do so while hanging from a helicopter. Also props to the old timey paperback illustrations, which doubly sell the sudden debate bit. It’s something I love the show: while it’s one of the most depressing in existance, it’s also god a wonderfully goofy sense of humor that helps ballance things out.  The conductor then explains todd later filled in last year when their triangle player died after getting his foot stuck in his triangle, another good one, but worries about todd and just how MUCH the man gives and wishes sometimes to see him not there when his part comes up, to see Todd give for himself. Then of course Todd spoils the move by coming out drenched in water with greasy hands, having tried to wash taco stains off his shirt, but then got greasy hands from said taco he ewa sstill holding and being trapped in a bathroom for an hour. That’s Todd in a nutshell: He can be legendary, selfless and utterly helpful or insightful one minute, and somehow get trapped in a hallway for an entire episode the next. That.. actually happened in case you either didn’t know or entirely forgot. Cue Credits.. a FIRST for this show suprisingly. Given most shows i’ve done are 11 minutes the credits usually happen before the show and I just forget to talk about them. I”ll breifly say the credits for Bojack are exellent and I love how they evolved and changed as each season wore on, and give the team kudos for doing what most shows just simply won’t or can’t do in western animation.

We’re at the peanutbutter residence, where PB is in the middle of his political campagin, working with his controlling and assholish ex wife katrina, and Todd gives him some pocket cheese to help but get’s shoed off and works on breakfast in the background with a giant egg for some reason. Probably because all animals are sentient here. And yes they explained how they still got meat. Anyways, Diane is annoyed that Katrina wants PB to decide if he’s for or against fracking based on public approval, insstead of you know just.. being against it because it’s wrong. She’s STILL better about it than that one episode of last man of earth I watched where the straw man liberal asshole argued with the consertaive asshole lead over a pothole they had and refused to just let his son belivie god exists because it calmed him down and in the next one forcibly dressed said son up as coal to mock his future mother in law because he’s as bad as the lead character, because this show is miserable and Ryan is what the writers apparently think a liberal is.  Anyways as this goes on we see Todd.. pulling his weight. He packs diane a lunch, leaves it by her purse as she gets ready to go to work, makes said giant egg into an omlette for pb and sets up a nice breakfast complete wtih his medication hidden inside because dog. We see that despite crashing there Todd has grown from where he was and is now making sure to actively contribute to the house as thanks for letting him stay. Anyways PB needs his glasses to take them off to seem sincer because he left htem at princess carolyn’s, she also represents Peanut Butter, Todd and Diane. Todd heads off, though dosen’t sign for a package as he once ended up with cremated remains, or cremains as he calls them and I now will, over it because of course he did and heads off while a mysterious horse in a trench coat watches... more on her in a bit.

At Carolyn’s agency , PC annoynces “it’s todd” with todd giving back an excited it’s me... he should enter the room like that every time. It really fits. Anyways, it turns out PC needed him for help with actress Courtney Pourtnory, whose in femalecentric Taken spinoff ms.taken, which i’m shocked wasn’t an actual movie. There’s also a lot of tounge twisting puns which as always Amy Sedaris flawlessly delivers and that i’ll miss now the show is gone. Anyways Courtney isn’t seen as relatable so PC goes with the oldest trick in the book: have some normal guy date the celebrity to see them as relatbale and well todd’s on retainer. Todd is reluctant, less so due to his  asexuality and more because he’s not only already busy with the sunglass errand, but has a meeting tonight. intresting. But PC ensures todd it’s no trouble and they can just do lunch for the paparazzi and todd does like the idea of having his picture taken. “It’s proof I exist.” It’s the same reason I hate having mine taken. It’s proof I still exist and this hell year hasn’t ended yet. 

Back at the campagin unsuprisingly what todd didn’t sign for was important and Katrina just tells him to sign for Pb next time, which is like giving a dog a play bone that also has a dart full of poison that shoots out of it into the rest of the living room. There’s no way this ends well and you should know that. So Katrina asks him to dance a little sidestep on the issue instead. 

This movie is eh but this musical number is awesome and I will use it at any opportunity. Rest in peace Charles Durning. It helps it’s still relevant as hell for both sides of the isle. Anyways Todd signs a letter to the state goverment because again, telling todd to do something without even remotely thinking about it is like giving a baby a boomerang loaded with nitro glcyerne, but soon gets cloroformed by our mysterious viewer. “And down goes todd. “.. said by todd himself because of course he did> God bless this man and aaron paul’s performance.  “And up comes todd!” .. whose, not suprisingly, apparently been drugged and/or knocked out enough to have a catchphrase for these situations. After grabbing a pool skimmer for defense because you know a stranger just kidnapped him, the stranger calms him down and introduces himself: And this is where we properly meet Hollyhock..  Manheim-Mannheim-Guerrero-Robinson-Zilberschlag-Hsung-Fonzerelli-McQuack which I copied directly from the wiki because this review is already running long and running behind, and I don’t want to spend an hour trying to copy that from the episode itself. The nightmare of a name, which is a running gag is because she was adopted.. by 8 gay men in a polyamours relationship. And one of them is apparently related to launchpad. 

Anyways Hollyhock, who called at the end of last season to no answer, thinks Bojack might be her dad and thus bought a spy kit to figure out. And used the cholorform, if apologizing for it because once you’ve got it you can’t not use it. Todd is unsuprised by both things; As bojack hilariously but horrifyingly put it his penis was like sun dried tomatoes in the 90′s: it was on everything, and Bojack himself had that kit, mostly using it on himself because of course he did. She tracked down Todd because Todd was in Bojack’s book as his roomate. Todd explains they no longer live together and Bojack has been missing, long story there though we do know where he was due to the last episode, but since Hollyhock really dosen’t need to meet him just wants his dna to find out if he’s related or not, so Todd suggest sher house. Time for more cloroform!

At Bojack’s place Todd wonders where to find a hair, since most ladies Bojack is with understandably shower afterwords only for Holly to find one.. and a sleeping unconcious clearly spiraling once again Bojack. Todd lament siwth an oh bojack: just because he’s mostly done with the guy dosen’t mean he still dosen’t care. Todd’s still a good guy and still dosen’t want to see his former friend go through this for the 80th time... he’s just done being the one to be there for him through it and that’s understandably.  Hollyhock yanks a hair which does nothing to wake him, unsuprisingly, but the mention of “blowing this place” makes Bojack wakes up as he thinks people has blow. it’s also telling that he’s worried Todd’s going to yell at him again and that he’s clearly stills marting from his understandable telling off. Todd is force dto make up an excuse since Hollyhock VERY understandably dosen’t want to tell him the truth, and Todd lightly rebuff’s bojack’s attempts to be pals again.. given he hasn’t really changed, it’s understandable. Also Hollyhock cloroforms him to get out of BOjack asking more questions and sends todd to take the dna to a place. Todd heads to  a 1 hour dna testing lab, because of course there’s one this is LA. But without Hollyhock’s dna they can’t do it but the guy says to come back with it in an hour after he’s done with lunch.. which gets Todd to realize OH SHIT I HAVES A DATE and he runs off. The fact he DIDN’T actually say that is a suprise. 

At the date Courtney transparently breaks up with Todd for publicity as Todd is utterly confused, before getting reminded about hollyhock. This scene just kind of happened so have the first gif I find typing “David Byrne” into gif search. 

Back at Bojack’s house all Hollyhock’s done is snoop around, finding Bojack’s box of bad reviews of other people’s sitcoms because of COURSE he has that, eat a full box of donuts and take a nap.. given the simliiarity todd isn’t sure they need that test. Hollyhock naturally refuses and just wants to use todd’s hair but since the dna guy said that don’t work, they find some in her comb. Todd however has to cover for the earlier Maid excuse he gave bojack, nice bit of foreshadowing there, and cleans up the house while Hollyhock sits around. I know she’s not his daughter, still related but still and even I’m having a hard time beliving the truth.  No sooner than does Todd put out that fire, than things get worse; Naturally the signutre was for pro fracking and while Katrina is pissed, not fairly as again, it’s like she handed a baby a shot gun for tots that make sa funny noise when you pull the trigger and is suprised that he shot up the couch. Anyways PB is understandabily more worried his wife will be upset he has to support fracking now, and Todd untietionally offers to distract her from the media while Hollyhock takes a nap because she feels.. really diffrent early on. While parts of her horseman traits would remain here she’s far less friendly or helpful than she would be later on in this half of the episode. it’s not BAD as sometimes it takes an episode or two for a character to properly become what their like for the rest of the series, it’s just WEIRD. Like Red Green’s monotone in early Red Green Show episodes it just feels.. off. 

Todd rushes off to Girl Croosh, the click baity blog diane works for because I forget when things happened sometimes, where Todd is doing the most todd distraction possible: Telling diane to look at him while he dances. Which to Diane’s shock has been going on for 45 minutes. 

Diane’s boss Stefani comes in voiced by the wonderful Kimiko Glenn who I admited to loving as a voice actress, and having a crush on back in my first close enough review and still stand by. She’s wonderful. Stefani berates diane for not being clickbaity enough, other plot for this season etc etc next todd crisis.  Princess Carolyn is annoyed they didn’t get a picture of courtney with todd.. even though she left first but this eems to be the “blame todd for things that are either not his fault or you should’ve expected by talking to him for five minutes” episode. Anyways PC says to be at the shark jacob’s fashion show in 30 minutes, and Diane bemoans trying to get people to pay attention to the world sucking. Todd shows some more competence and actually gives her a good metaphor: When mr.peanutbutter dosen’t want to take his pill, as I expected, Todd disgusied it.. though in the cheese. Just do that: put some hot goss around the rest of it. Todd, to keep her away from the computer with a literal headline that reads “Mr.Peanutbutter supports fracking and hasn’t told his wife yet”, because this show is amazing, makes up a story about Channing Tatum having an illgitamte daughter and gives her the testing hairs. The theme of this scene, and the episode really is that people underestimate todd: understandably the man got lost in a bathroom at the top of this episode and refused to sign a package because of past shenangians... but because of that they fail to see that todd is .. actually really compitent, insightful and caring. IN this one scene he actually suceeds in his mission in the dumbest, toddest way possible, then on the fly kills two errands with one stone while also giving Diane genuinely good advice. But the big question the episode poses is.. what does TODD want at the end of the day and just how much of this “doing everyones shit for htem” should he take?   

As Todd passes a sheep with a wonderful “The end of the wool is coming’ sign, he sneaks into the fashion show.. we also see a background model bird smoking that I SWEAR is a protytpe for tuca, just with a diffrent bodytype and a more aloof, supermodely face. Though if this is the same universe it could just be a sister of hers. It’s not out of the realm of posiblity. And yes I will defintely be talking Tuca and Bertie at some point, especially once it comes back next year. Being todd he ends up walking the runway instead, and it goes poorly, but Todd telling them that fashion shouldn’t be elitest somehow works and he become a hit. Also Tim Gunn is there as himself, beacause this show liked to mix animal versions of celebrites iwth the real ones, and sometimes had the real ones voice the animal versions of themsselves. Todd also gets a call from Diane: it’s a match. ALso I forgot Todd’s wonderful ringtone which is him , to the opening of that one betooven song going “todd todd todd TODD!” Magical Back at the horseman residence, Bojack’s sent hollyhock to go thank channing tatum for collecting his mail and goes through all the mail that piled up while he was MIA. He’s also wallowing about his miss opprtotunites, some involving pottery barn. He’s suprised by PB’s governor run, with Todd countering that of course he knew he’s been around and when Bojack asks how Diane feels Todd shoots that down right away and insists he just ask her himself, and again counters; Does she even know he’s back? Bojack insists he’s no tready, and he’s only told Todd he’s back.. and his various drug guys, channing tatum, and hollyhock. But not his inner circle. And given he and PB tend to not mesh well, though it is getting better at this point, he ruined things with Todd, he dropped PC for entirely warranted reasons.. Diane really IS the only person he has to call and he’s likely afraid of disapointing her. He then tells Todd to friend break up with channing tatum, with todd thinking his speech was about him and being understandably disapointed. I also like Todd’s attiude here: he’s done just.. taking Bojack’s shit and isn’t going to stick around for it and only really agrees to go to channing tatums because Hollyhock’s over there and he needs to tell her. 

Todd goes over and lies to hollyhock after warning her BOjack might not be readyf or a daughter and Hollyhock expresses her own doubts. Then diane shows up and Todd’s force dto play being channing tatum so they both don’t get arrested for trespassing. Diane confronts channig with her thoughts he’s the father, which hollyhock instnatly realizes exactly what that means, but relents on doing so, not wanting to be that kind of journalest and ruin someone’s life for her own benefit. Todd gives her a pep talk and she accepts it’s him because it’s what she thinks channig tatum would say and leaves with a cheery “love half your movies. Hollyhock meanwhile has fled, obviously upset and before Todd can deal with THAT, he gets another call, clearly tired at this point as am I as i’m not only not used to reviewing 22 minute shows anymore, let alone 30 minute ones, but I have a ticking clock due to my own procastination. She once again gets mad at him, this time a bit more understandably, and Todd darts off to meet courtney. 

The two talk, and Courntey is dressed like todd only her hat is 50 dollars.. and that’s a hella don’t... I miss Macklemoore. Anyway, Courtney opens up about being seen by everyone but not being seen at the same time.. which todd relates to even if courtney can’t fathom someone having the same feelings, but admits it’s nice to talk about it while Todd laments about his meeting, worrying h’es not ready yet. That what if it goes badly? What if the idea of something is better than the truth. I realate both due to my anxiety proving that and because as a comics nerd and general nerd, that’s happened more times than I can count, both with legendary stories that turned out to not be very good or something I really looked forward to turning out to be a mess, like It Chapter 2, or Zoolander 2, or Secret Empire or.. point is Courtney does relate to that and prefers fiction and the paparazzi, the same ones who tailed bojack for multiple episodes in season 1, eat it up with Courtney announcing their engagment iwth todd responding with “Horay i’m confused!”... that’s me all day everyday buddy. 

Todd goes back to Bojack’s to find Hollyhock, and being a good friend even to someone who certainly dosen’t deserve it at this point, tells Bojack the truth.. which he reflexvley denies before Todd admits she didn’t want to tell him and Bojack. understands and once again piles pity on himself. 

We then get the scene that got me to review this in the first place.. thanks asshole! All jokes aside, the two have an honest conversation: Bojack, while not outright saying sorry admits all he does is hurt people and he slept with the one person he ever saw todd be in love with... given it’s hard for him to give out a genuine apology, it’s still a good moment as it shows Bojack, even if he screws up constantly, is really apologetic about destroying their freindship. That part also shows WHY it was wrong: Sure todd couldn’t and wouldn’t sleep with her.. but it dosen’t change the fact Bojack SHOULDN’T have , knew what he was doing, did it anyway and then never told him. 

He continues with it though after todd wonders if he’s evne allowed to love. , saying he got more of Todd than he deserved, and all the guy asked for was a roof over his head and the ocasional smore in a baquet, and tells todd he didn’t deserve him and he really appricated him. This.. actually gets Todd to open up and he comes out as Asexual to bojack which after making it clear it means he’s not a sexual deviant, dynamo or what have you, a great wordplay gag, that he’s just not sexual.. Bojack.. shockingly and to Todd’s suprise dosen’t think it’s weird like he expected, but is thrilled and honeslty wishes sometimes he was asexual and we get what I consider to be the best joke of the seris.  Bojack; Maybe then I wouldn’t have A strain of herpes Todd; You have multiple strains Bojack: I know, it only works with the A.  Todd feels.. good.. while i’m not Ace myself I am bisexual and both times i’ve come out, first to my mom and a few friends, then to the rest of the world this month on facebook, it felt.. freeing. To not have to worry or hide no more.. to just be who you are.. and it feels.. good to Todd. While Bojack tries to slide back into friendship since todd isn’t mad about Emily anymore, Todd gently stops him: It wasn’t just here, as I made clear earlier, he’s not ready to be his friend again.. but hes ready to be more than NOT friends. While their freindship won’t be the same anymore, as Todd makes painfully clear.. Todd gives him a genuine i’t’s good to see you as he leaves. Again he may not LIKE the guy anymore and understandably dosen’t want to be the only person he can count on in bojack’s life... he still wants the guy to be okay, which the fans could probably relate to the whole damn series; Being fed up with his bullshit and TERRIBLE TERRIBLE actions, but wanting him to be better already. The door rings.. and it’s HOllyhock. We MIGHT get to that another time, but for now we close out Pride, and todd’s tale as todd goes to his meeting... which as it turns out...

While there is still more miles on Todd’s journey, ending his sham engagement set up here, a failed relationship and a sucessful relationship at the end of the series, not to mention reconcliation with his family... Todd takes an important step and takes what he wants, finding his people and being proud of who he is.. and that’s sometimes the best and hardest step. And we get a nice button on the framing device as Todd misses his solo for the first time, to the conductors delight. The End. 

Final Thoughts: This was a really good rewatch.  While not AS heavy as some other bojack episodes, it still has plenty of good character work, moving along or setting up several plots for the season without any of it feeling forced whlie giving Todd added depth in his coming out story. Todd still dosen’t fully understand what his asexuaity is and is scared to be open with it.. but that beautiful scene above is what makes the episode work as is the ending right after: By finally telling someone he knows, and by being accepted by the last person he’d expect to not only understand what Todd is but embrace it.. he can finally find others like him to help him through it and finally find something for himself after giving so much to everyone else while asking nothing in return.  That’s also a nice bit of deconsturction here... while Todd’s happy to help we do ssee bouncing from storyline to storyline actually wears on him and that sometimes it’s tiring being the guy everyone assumes has nothing but time for htem. It’s a nice development and Aaron Paul does it beauitfully and I do stand by HIS casting, as unlike with Allison brie where they knew diane would be an vitamese woman and cast a white woman anyway, though to Ralph-Paul’s credit, he’s throughly apologized for this and Allison Brie herself recently also apologized for it personally in the wake of the recent black lives matter lead call to not have white actors voice People of Color anymore. Also props to Jenny SLate for, if a bit late , still leaving big mouth for the last two seasons and apologizing herself among with any other actor or actress whose dropped a role as a POC when their white. It’s a good trend. But here.. I get why they didn’t try and get rid of Aaron Paul. It was probably hard enough to get executives to give a shit about Ace representaation enough to let htem do it, adding “firing a big name draw to replace him wiht a likely no name” was probably a bridge too far and sadly, sometimes you have to pick your battles, and they picked getting to have an ace character at all and to Aaron Paul’s credit he’s been an Ace ally ever since. HOpefully in the future we will get more ace chracters and more ace actors and actresses playing the part, but every journey begins with a sigle step and this storyline was a huge one.  But overall the episode is truly fantastic, a highight in a series full of amazing episodes and it was a good note to go out on for this month. I won’t stop doing LBGTQA reviews obviously, and I should’ve added the a way sooner, but it’s been fun doing them and i’ve been proud too. Some have been better than others but the better one shave been some of my best work. So as we live in uncertain and stupid times, stay safe , black live matter and your all beautiful. I have other stuff in the works; a full steven unvierse arc, regular coverage and of course that “sorry I was a moron” static cling review, but until then, I love you all and i’d like, if I may, to close on a song... not by me obviously my singing voice is “sorta adaquate I guess’ at best. 

[hecohansen31]

A Cure For Unrequited Love

Hawthorne! Michael+Witch! Reader (+Cordelia) :

(A/N): Hello there, lovelies!

I have recently chosen to write a little smutty piece for each Michael Langdon’s era (because I am that fan of his) (right now we have Outpost with “Little Love Notes”, I have this and I have written down a “Fire & Reign” piece I am very proud of, and I am working on a “Grunge Era” Michael, but I am taking a break from fanfic to edit what I am writing, but I have enough for at leats sei weeks!).

Also I really hope you’ll like this, I am low key proud of it (and I love Hawthorne Michael more than my family...) (and special tag for @sojournmichael, whose “Descensum” piece inspired me to write this, so give her a follow and look at her piece, it’s amazing... it gets my latin kink going... love you, babe).

(Also reader is bisexual/heteroflexible in this fic, which means that she also proves attraction for women, I really hope that my rep of this is enough and didn’t disrespect anyone, if I did, let me know and I will take it down immediately, love you!).

SUMMARY; When your crush for the headmistress of Robinchaux, ends up badly, Michael decides to help you get over with it, with a rather “unorthodox” method...

WORDS: 5,1 K

WARNINGS: Rough Unprotected (as always wrap it up before doing the dirty; it will protect you from both unwanted pregnancy and STDs, be smart and safe, lovelies of mine) Sex (specifically we are talking about Hate-Sex, so be aware of that), Spanking, Slapping, Sir Kink, Degradation through harsh words, Oral Sex (Female-Male receiving) and  Magic involved in the bedroom (because that’s what I would do with magic, I am a hoe...). Also Angst, Heartbreak and Unrequited Love.

She had had a crush on Cordelia since she had first joined Robinchaux.

She had been the first one to believe (Y/N) wasn’t something perverse, a horrible and against nature.

She had taught her how to feel empowered and confident in her powers, with nothing to fear.

Because of this, she had somehow latched to Cordelia, when they had both found each other at their lowest; she was escaping a toxic family situation and Cordelia had just lost Misty Day, which meant that as soon as she had seen the girl she had taken her under her wing, raising her as her most brilliant pupil.

And she had somehow mistaken Cordelia’s motherly and professional attention, for the care and affection she had never been given, due to her supernatural nature, something which had developed her to have a “slight” schoolgirl crush on her principal of Robinchaux.

But being not only shy, but also a bit intimidated by the fact that Cordelia was older than her (although it didn’t seem to matter on the nights were her fingers touched her thighs and what was between them) she had avoided making a move on the woman, just admiring her from afar, and listening to her every order.

And as soon as Michael Langdon had seen her loyalty towards the other woman, he had dubbed her as “Cordelia’s loyal dog”.

When they had first seen each other they had immediately hated the other: she was too “witchy” for his tastes, and in her words “the antichrist was an asshole”.

So there was no way they could have ended in that situation: Michael’s hands on her ass, her lips on his plump ones, in her room.

Yeah, definitely no way.

She would have blamed a moment of weakness meanwhile Michael Langdon wouldn’t waste an opportunity to teach a stubborn and bratty witch a lesson, in how he was better than her, in any way she could think of.

Her moment of weakness had started right after Misty Day had come back and her spot next to Cordelia had been replaced by the blonde and sweet witch.

She had tried to avoid feeling jealousy, but she couldn’t help to feel heartbroken for the fact that the lovely lovely Misty Day had so easily taken her place, in Cordelia’s heart.

And that morning she had confronted her mentor about it, not wanting to confess her feelings but she had done it somehow, right when their discussion had reached its peak and awkwardly she had tried to kiss Cordelia, just for the other woman to avoid the kiss, leaning on a side.

“I am sorry, (Y/N) … I just can’t feel what you feel for me, also it won’t be right, we are just too different”.

She had felt entirely ashamed of her gesture and although Cordelia had let her down gently, trying her best not to hurt her feelings, it hadn’t worked and she had just run away from Robinchaux, not daring to come back.

At least not until she had somehow forgotten about the entire thing.

And what better way to forget than alcohol?

But she hadn’t been able to drink in peace, because Langdon had been there, at the same bar as her.

He had pestered her till it got too much for her and she blurted her rage on him, even going as far as to let out a bit of magic, setting the bar stool next to them on fire, meanwhile Michael had just giggled at her, but more softly, putting out the fire, meanwhile he made a move to switch the tequila she had chosen with water.

“Better not have alcohol near you, if you are going to set things on fire” he had mumbled.

“Next time, it will be your hair” she had threatened him, but with no bite in her tone, too tired now that even the last ember of rage had gone out, just the shallow pit of sadness and shame hanging in her stomach.

She had put her head on the bar table, closing her eyes, as if she had wanted to sleep, and strangely Langdon had caressed her hair, almost softly.

“… you wouldn’t” he had stated, meanwhile she  just huffed out, because he was damn right  “… mostly because I might be of use”.

“With what? Want to bring my dead feelings back from Hell? Because if not, let me drink tequila till I pass out” she proposed “… also since you are the “antichrist” can you turn this water in tequila?”.

She had hoped to annoy him enough that he would have left her alone to her self-destructive tendencies, but it  hadn’t worked out perfectly, since he had stayed there, and she had just rolled her eyes.

“When was the last time you had sex, (Y/N)?”.

That had been enough to make some fire appear in her hand.

“When was the last time you didn’t say something that almost got you killed?” she had retorted.

“What I am trying to tell you is that the best way to forget someone is have a full night of the best sex you might have ever had”.

She had been almost halfway from having a laughing fit when she had realized he was being honest with her.

“Are you serious, Langdon?” she had huffed out, immediately raising her head to look him in his playful eyes “… high and mighty antichrist wanting to have sex with Cordelia’s dog?”.

“You should be honored” he had shot back, looking at her with confidence, just to be shot down by a quick laugh from her part.

“Yeah… I am sure that your pinkie would satisfy me more” and then she had made to turn around, just for him to grab her hand, and push her against him and she had soon realized that what she had previously said wasn’t definitely true.

She had always liked both men and women, but nothing had mattered since her crush on Cordelia and it had been a long time since her last fuck, and the fact that it hadn’t been a good fuck (she had been too scared to let out any magic, to actually let herself go, and it had hurt) made it seem all so much longer.

And the comforting warmth of another body, right when she was feeling damnably alone and sad…

“What would you get out of fucking me?” she had asked.

She might have been na��ve, but she knew that without any kind of retribution Michael Langdon never did something: he brought Madison and Queenie back to show that he could and be admitted to the “Seven Wonders”, he had brought Misty Day back to make a point and now she couldn’t come up with a reason why he would agree to fuck her.

But she knew, also this time there was a reason.

He had smirked at her, truly devilishly and she could almost feel his telltale tail moving in the air behind him, meanwhile horns appeared from his head, but maybe it was just a hallucination, because of her tiredness.

“Maybe I just want to piss off Cordelia” and he had grabbed her hand, a romantic gesture, was he not looking at her as it he wanted to eat her “… or maybe I just need a good fuck myself, and your body looks like a fucking masterpiece…”.

So here they were in her room, making out and slamming each other against her elegant furniture (Michael had complimented her on it, before grabbing her face roughly, bringing her in a scorching kiss, which left her totally unaware of the open door) stumbling on the few books she had left on the floor.

It was almost comic, was it not for that pleasure she felt deep in her guts.

And, it was just lazy kisses and light groping with Michael, who was trying to almost memorize her body with his hand, with no attention to her sensitive spots, rubbing them roughly, but some part of her welcomed the pain, feeling like it made her feel something, like it made her feel desired, as if Michael was seriously interested in her.

But she didn’t try to get her hopes up, she shouldn’t have let it happen with Cordelia.

Michael pushed her down the bed, as soon as they were close to it and shed his jacket, almost being immediately mirrored by her, who pushed her leather jacket on the floor, meanwhile she kicked her heeled black mary janes off her feet.

They stripped each other shirts off their body, but whereas she had tried to gently unbutton each button, Michael, after having unlaced the little black blow she wore around her neck, had straight up ripped apart her shirt, getting a slap on the chest and an annoyed “Damn that was expensive Michael!”ò

As a revenge she ripped the rest off his expensive top, before dragging him by his bow tie, towards her lips, stopping just half a second before a kiss.

-Do that again, and I will rip every inch of your body apart- this seemed to surprise him, but Michael just smirked annoyingly.

-Oh sweetie…- and as soon as her grasp loosened on his bow, after he had straightened it up, he pushed her down on the bed, immediately getting on top of her, his body crashing her into the mattress and she could feel each inch of him -… it doesn’t work that way-.

And to make the thing even more… evident, he ripped off her pants, as if they were the stripper kind of jeans, and she just chose to roll her eyes, trying to regain to upper hand, but Michael was physically stronger than her.

But she had a few trick on her side, and her body slowly disappeared under him leaving him a bit dumbfounded, before reappearing on him, pushing him down on the bed and thank to the surprise she managed to get some kind of action on him and blocked him with her legs.

-You clearly never fought with a sibling… you would have known that it isn’t over till you scream “mommy”- she mumbled, smiling arrogantly and strangely Michael reciprocated the smile, moving to push a few strands of her hair behind her ear, just to decide to pull on them and use them to change again the position, and as her legs brushed together, she found she was wet, already.

-… oh, you can call me “sir”, then- he mumbled, again that damned smirk on his face, and had her hands not been gripped so tight that she knew there would be bruises, she would have slapped it off her face.

And from the fact that the smirk became bigger she realized he might have read her thoughts and wouldn’t have minded it.

She would keep it in mind.

-… is that a way to compensate for the fact that we can’t call you “supreme”- wrong move, because Michael had been tame at least till that moment and before she knew it, the position had changed again (she would get an headache from it, if he didn’t settle, she was sure…).

And now she was on his knees, sprawled on them with her facing his face and before she knew it a slap was soundly delivered to her ass.

She should have expected, seeing her behavior and Michael’s tendency, but no other partner had ever spanked her in bed, and not with that lack of care that Michael had just used, as if he didn’t care if he bruised her.

She was thankful that at least her panties were still in their original place, taking a bit of the impact but it still stung as hell.

(Which was incidentally where he came from…).

-What the hell?! – she should have shut up after that, but not being Cordelia’s loyal dog, anymore, made her feel daring -… didn’t know that you were a pervert like that, Langdon!-.

-Well, at least I have a good company- and he ashamedly moved himself and her to be able to take a look at her panties, raising them to reveal more, which made her honestly a bit uneasy, since it had been so much time since she had been that exposed, no matter the fact that she still had her pretty royal blue lacy thong (not that it covered much of her), but her wetness was clear as the light of day.

And this proved she enjoyed it.

-… your pussy is already throbbing for me, it’s very very flattering. He laughed at her discomfort, touching her gently through the soft and silky fabric, collecting the wetness he could find, not exactly too much, but still it smeared his finger when he lazily dragger a finger up her folds and he cleaned it up recklessly on her thighs -… maybe you are not Cordelia’s loyal dog, you are more like her bitch in heat, right now-.

-Would you stop talking about her? – not because it was painful, but she knew that Cordelia wouldn’t have approved and she was ashamed of it.

But a part of her liked that she was trespassing an unspoken rule Cordelia had given her.

She had just warned about how dangerous Michael was, knowing she wasn’t some love sick witch, one that would think to want even the slightest contact with Michael.

“Of course, Cordelia, he is just a stupid asshole, not my type” and now she was letting him see in her in her most vulnerable state.

That was called character development.

(And, spoiler: not for the better).

-… does it bother you? – and not letting her answer he slapped her ass again, this time, skin hit skin and she had to bite down harshly on her lip, feeling blood erupt in her mouth, from the cut she had provoked, biting down on her lip -… I bet she would be extremely disappointed to see you wet on my lap. Her loyal bitch has finally betrayed her for some cock-.

-Go to hell, little antichrist ... - and she should have stopped there, but she felt the need to save some kid of honor -… and stop talking while you are at it, you are annoying-.

She expected a slap, and had already closed her eyes, but nothing happened and the waiting was actually worse than just a violent gasp.

When he did act up, he grabbed her hair, again (did she discover a hair kink?) and raised her to meet his face.

-Frustrated much? – he replied, before spitting on her face, something she didn’t expect so she didn’t react, and then she was pushed again on his laps -… now make yourself useful, little bitch, count-.

And the slaps immediately came back.

She didn’t count, resisting him, with an annoyed look, but then the torture got even more worse, because there was not only the sting of the slaps, but also her dripping arousal, and Michael didn’t seem to care about it-

There, she had just given up and started counting, getting an amused laugh from Michael, and she kept her head down to avoid his arrogant and judging eyes.

She arrived at ten, but before she had already received five of them, and Michael wasn’t nice and sweet, clearly wanting to hurt her, although he was careful on where he hit, hitting just the plumpest areas in order not to injure her permanently.

Clearly, she wasn’t the first one on his laps, and she was low key grateful for that.

She wouldn’t have sit down without whimpering for a good week, and as she got a good look at her ass she discovered it was inflamed, and Michael actually smirked, groping her much more gently as if he was comforting her, and in that moment she realized she had tears streaming down her eyes.

She was a mess, but apparently Michael just found her extremely attractive, and he made sure to tell her.

-Look at you, little bitch, all ruined after a few slaps, how will you be after you got my cock in you? -.

-Maybe this is all overcompensating for your lack of…- and she just wiggled her eyebrows, getting an annoyed roll of eyes by Michael, which turned her on her back, in order for them to come to face to face, before slipping under her, and getting on top her, but…

…. There was something strange: he was in the opposite position as her, staring at her legs, but she forgot about any confused thoughts she might have, as soon as he licked a little strip of her through her underwear and if before she had been just started getting wet, now she was dripping, and he managed to collect a lot with his tongue, moaning at her taste, before straight up ripping off her panties.

(She would make him pay for anything he broke she would make sure of it).

-… and you taste so sweet, no matter the bitter words you speak of, I’d much rather listen to what these lips have to say about me, they like me quite a lot-.

-Thank God, shut your mouth and make it useful- she honestly had a thing against people who spoke up not understanding the danger of the situation, but in this case, she decided to be a bit daring (not to say downright stupid).

Oral was something that she honestly missed, since it was something that not everyone she had been with, felt comfortable giving.

Only one partner had actually given her oral and they had been quite good at it (A/N: I decided to keep it neutral, so people can choose!) and she had enjoyed it.

But it was nothing compared to Michael’s skills.

His tongue tasted her, gently at first, before diving into her suddenly and she let out sweet delighted moans.

But everything got better and more intense, as soon as is tongue meet her skin, right on her clit, where he installed himself, sucking it roughly.

But he wasn’t done.

His fingers slowly approached her, and before she knew it, one was inside her, reaching an impossible depth she honestly didn’t believe existed.

And this time she stopped breathing, whining in a very inhuman way, feeling something shatter near her but she didn’t care, not when he started moving his fingers.

Michael smirked against her clit, probably amused by her loss of control over her magic and soon she felt another thing shattering, and this time Michael straight up laughed.

She thought it honestly sounded so beautiful, boyish and genuinely happy and not only she pushed more wetness on his face, but she felt a tight fist in her stomach, begin to unravel, and she was exactly a minute away from Paradise, stars under her eyes and all that shit…

And then Michael stopped.

And if she thought he had been evil after the fifteen slaps, this time he was even worse

… and worst of all… she couldn’t see him, so she couldn’t foresee what would be coming next.

And this stressed her much more.

-… why don’t you also put your tongue to some use? – he replied, turning a bit around to stare at her -… and I might consider going back to what I was doing…-.

-Aren’t you scared my bitter mouth will melt your precious length? – she mumbled, sending him an annoyed look, now the teasing was all welcome.

He couldn’t leave her hot and bothered without expecting some revenge…

-I will take that risk- he stared at her annoyed, but his eyes still had some kind of smirking glint -… just avoid the teeth-.

And she just nodded with the fakest smile on her face.

She unzipped his pants, feeling nervous for what might be happening next, meanwhile Michael turned around to observe her, and if she was nervous before, now she was halfway through having an heartattack, but she tried not to show it too much.

She didn’t want to give Michael any kind of satisfaction.

And as soon as she was in a comfortable position, and the monster length was in her face, she immediately moved an hand to his cock and gently started pumping him, feeling it mostly to adapt and take some time, getting a few low moan from him, meanwhile he looked at her under lowered lashes and hazy eyes, the excitement evident, no matter the fact that he faked a “yawn”.

And that’s when she tried to take as much as she could, without giving him no chance to adapt, surprising him enough that he screeched, just as she had done when he had firstly slapped her, surprised by how much she could take (and honestly she was surprised too… but didn’t let it show).

She watched him through fluttering eyelashes, before retreating herself form him slowly, saliva coating her mouth.

She didn’t push him away completely and immediately went back to it.

She took less, mostly because her throat had been strained a little bit too much, but she tried to appear languid and sexy enough.

She avoided teeth, but as soon as she saw him deep in a trance, enthralled in the throes of lust, she gently ranked them against his dick a bit, feeling him immediately gain conscience, looking at her almost hurt.

And she sent back an extremely fake innocent look, between her lashes, happy of the control she had seemed to gain, but immediately it was taken away from her, again the hair kink appearing.

He grabbed her hair, and as much as she was grateful for them being out her face, his grip was almost bruising enough to pull a few hair, leading her to a fast-paced rhythm, facefucking her as if her mouth was a fleshlight.

But something was much different, because seeing him lose all his senses, because of her mouth was low key… exciting and empowering, because no matter how much tighter his grip on her hair was, she was in control.

And it was even more clear when a pillow on her bed shattered, and this time… it hadn’t been her.

When she felt something musky in her mouth, she twirled her fingers and Michael was roughly and magically pushed off her, no matter his strong grip, and before he could reply and react, she was on top of him, she knew she had no chance to fight him and held him off, so she better hurry up.

And before he could protest, she slipped him inside of her, immediately feeling his muscles, under her tighten, meanwhile she adjusted to the stretch.

Clearly if she had had trouble fitting him in her mouth, she had trouble also fitting him inside her extremely tight canal, since if she was inexpert in any kind of oral, she was even less expert in those things, and Michael was no mere human.

He was the antichrist.

And his dick also showed that.

She had exactly one minute, before he started pushing in her and she immediately had to move her hips at the same rhythm.

She pushed her hand down his chest, mostly to get some stability, since Michael rutted in her with no care.

But she honestly didn’t care-

It felt so so good, with him reaching her in some pretty unspoken places, undiscovered by hands, tongues and dicks, and as soon as she believed it had reached its fullest, she was remembered that he hadn’t…

-… who knew I would enjoy so much the sight of your breasts bouncing…- he moaned out, and he immediately gripped her sensitive globes, unclasping her bra, instead of ripping it, something for which she was grateful and rewarded him with a particular change of angle, and he seemed further in her -… and I somehow managed to shut you up-.

She couldn’t actually answer him, because she was too intent mentally pronouncing the spell that would give her the last laugh… she hoped.

And it worked, as soon as she felt herself leave the bed, levitating over nothing.

She had found this spell a few months ago, the stress of being unable to perform it, had led to her trying to relieve herself through… a “physical method” but the spell hadn’t left her mind and soon as her climax approached him, she found herself levitating through it, and the fear of almost plummeting to the ground had brought her to an mind-blowing finale.

Michael immediately gripped her, tighter, his handprints wouldn’t be only on her ass, but also on her hips, and she cooed in his ear, almost making fun of his distressed state.

-I thought I would make this more magical- she giggled, taking immediate advantage of Michael’s slowing pace, slamming into him -… but don’t take too long, usually my fingers take me fifteen minutes and I have never tried to hold out for more-

But danger made it all more interesting and immediately Michael took the hint.

Slamming into her like an animal, pulling her hair, and palming appreciatively her breast, pinching her nipples, and she almost climaxed at the sight of him biting her nipples, but he just slowed down there, feeling her clench around him, milking him closer to his ending.

And to her questioning look he just smirked.

-… you said fifteen minutes… and just five have passed- he answered, before thrusting up, impaling her on his cock -… I don’t intend to lose even a single minute of this magic-.

Some people, after they had discovered that they had no chance with the person they loved, put on Taylor Swift at the maximum volume and just cried, others drank themselves stupid, not to talk about other substances…

… she had fucked the freaking Antichrist.

She realized that the Antichrist had also cuddled her to sleep, and her muscles were on fire, not only for all the abuse that her entire body had experienced, but also for the aerobic she had done thank to Michael and the little help of magic.

They had actually beat the record, of fifteen minutes, and after her first orgasm, he hadn’t stopped. fucking her through the mattress and she was sure there would be broken tiles, on her floor.

Not that she regretted any kind of those things.

She was just confused at Michael’s presence in her bed, after he had gotten what he wanted-

His strange behavior had started before the accidental sleep-in, after her fifth orgasm, obtained with his cock on her mouth and his mouth on her cunt, after they had calmed down, he had suggested she got some healing cream for her ass, even going as far as summoning the little tube in his hand, and offering to massage her ass, but she had just replied that she didn’t trust him around her ass, after what had happened.

But she had still let him massage her throbbing should.

After she had exited the bathroom, where she had gone to clean herself up both from his cum (he had cum inside her, but he had reassured that she wouldn’t be getting any kind of demonic STDs, alongside the fact that he had eyed her pill on her desk, so no demonic spawn) and hers.

After that she had fallen asleep quickly expecting him to leave, too exhausted to keep her eyes open and check him.

But, apparently, he had slept in and also he had showered, since he smelled like her fresh body cream…

But before she could inquire more, her door was swung open and Cordelia walked in.

She was so caught up into what she was saying that she didn’t notice the “lovers”, till she was near to her bed, seeing not only an awful lot of her naked body, but the start of Michael’s one.

And shame came to her cheeks, in form of a reddish blush.

She could see the disappointment into Cordelia’s eyes, but strangely she didn’t care.

She had gone to bed with the Antichrist just to feel better after she had broken her heart, so…

… it was bad to assume she had some kind of dignity and self-preservation.

-… please, (Y/N) tell me you didn’t sleep with…? – she mumbled, shocked.

-Oh we did more than “sleep”- replied a sleepy voice and behind her, Michael nuzzled her neck skin, his eyes still closed but a touch of smile on his lips, and as much as she hated when he used sarcasm against her, she low key loved it being used against anybody else, it was a very funny show -… and by the way, next time knock, we could have been doing something very different form sleeping-.

-You are not allowed to bring boys back to your room- tried to reprimand her Cordelia.

What she said was true, but she wasn’t a student, anymore, so although it might have been extremely unprofessional to bring Michael back in her room, she was allowed to do her own choices.

-What are you going to do? – she raised up a bit, totally unashamed of her nakedness, wanting to remind Cordelia what she had lost -… punish me? I am not a child Cordelia, I make decisions for my own, I decide who I fuck-.

And this seemed to take Cordelia so so much aback.

She had been always so clean and polished and nice, whenever she was with Cordelia.

Her best smile her sweetest words, and she never dared to disobey her.

But right now, she had enough.

And Cordelia shared her same thought, seeing no way to bring her over to the right side, and instead she just shook her head, delivering a powerful final line:

-You are free to do what you want, but when he breaks your heart, don’t come running to me like a school girl with a crush-.

And there she smirked, no matter the sadness and confusion inside her, choosing to hide them:

-… it’s impossible, my heart is already broken-.

And when Cordelia exited the room, a tang of sadness could be seen in his steps, alongside anger and embarrassment, meanwhile she turned around in the bed, a headache appearing due to all the terrible things she had experienced, in those days.

But before she could go back to bed and hide under the cover, all her bravery disappearing, she heard Landgon stifling a laugh, and this made her send him a confused glare.

She knew he was a freaking sadist, but…

-Oh excuse little old me, I never thought I would see the day when Cordelia’s loyal dog decides to riot against the hand that feeds her- and then his hands disappeared under the cover but she was definitely aware of where they went -… it’s kind of a turn on-.

And she forgot about anything.

Apparently, the best cure for a broken heart was fucking the Antichrist.

Who knew?

---

Hope that you enjoyed it lovelies!

As always, please let me know what you thought about it, any feedback (as long as worded it gently) is very much welcome (whether it is leaving an heart reblog this fic, a comment or a DM or an ask about what you thought about it, everything is welcome)

Also here it is a little list of people who wanted t be tagged here (I am thinking about creating a taglist, so if you want to be in that, shot me a DM or an ask, love you!).

@so-langdon@vampirefairyestelle @sarcasticfuck101 @ahstatejameskai @devilslittlebrat @lindsey3300 @starryeyechae  @raluralu394 @floralpiper @wth-trippy @mollymcbutter99 @writerandee

Love you, lovelies!

-Heco Hansen.

[grindskull]

Shit that fucks me up #1 - Toxic Masculinity and being a “man”

Gotta have some way to organize my random thoughts here. I’m going with the obvious thing - Shit that fucks me up (STFMU). This is about me and my experiences. It is not my intention to discredit or question other human experiences. Sharing in the hopes of connecting with others who may have feel similar in their own skin. There are things here that others may define as triggers so read at your own risk (rape, abuse, and this fucking world). ---

Here is me being vulnerable.  I am putting myself out there by discussing masculinity and how I often do not identify with the larger concept of “being a man” in any positive way. You can call it toxic masculinity if you prefer. It’s acceptable shorthand for something that is just as nuanced and difficult to wade through as anything gender related.  I read this article on The Atlantic yesterday and there were some things that really resonated with me and my experience as a man/male (he/his/him). You can read it here (sorry there is a pay wall if you read more than 4 articles a month) but I will also be quoting some of the article below.  If you have time to read the article I’ll wait. It’s a bit long (many articles on The Atlantic are) and kind of academic at times. It’s okay if you don’t agree with everything in the article. Just read it.  Done? Okay let me set the stage a bit for how this shit fucks me up. ---

I’m male. I have always identified as a male/boy/man in my life. Unfortunately my experience with other males/boys/men has been mostly negative. It started at an early age when I had a hard time connecting with other boys my age. I was not interested in typical “male” interests like sports, violence, competition, and achievement. I had few (usually 1 or 2) friends at any one time and they typically had some kind of unhealthy power dynamic over me where I was subservient to my “friend” in some way.  I have some thoughts on reasons why this happened. The short version is I lived in poverty (often extreme) and I was searching for help and support in order to survive. At home I had abuse (mental, physical, verbal), drugs, addiction, and neglect. It was not a safe place to be so I did whatever I could to not be there. It was not unusual for me to eat maybe one meal during the day (typically what I could get from others at school or their home). Winter was the worst as we often did not have heat. Some of my “friends” used this as a way to hold power over me and make demands of my personality, time, and attention. Imagine finding yourself in this situation - you have to actively work to not be yourself in order to appease others for your very survival. Of course as a youth I didn’t identify it this way - my “friends” were just bossy or demanding. All of my male role models were basically assholes who did not give a fuck about anyone except themselves. This was a huge part of the 80′s zeitgeist in popular culture at the time as well. In some ways nothing has really changed. “... when asked to describe the attributes of “the ideal guy,” those same boys appeared to be harking back to 1955. Dominance. Aggression. Rugged good looks (with an emphasis on height). Sexual prowess. Stoicism. Athleticism. Wealth (at least some day).“ Under this common definition of “masculinity” I do not see myself. I am loyal, honest, caring, and sweet (to those I love). I love my body though I am non-athletic and have been most of my life. I am an attentive and talented lover but I have had very few sexual partners in my life and never saw them as moments of “conquest”. I was dirt poor most of my life but now live comfortably in my own home with my long term partner. So while not “wealthy” it is far beyond anything I could have imagined I would have in my life as a boy. Stoicism I have down. That one was easy. For me it’s just a nice way of saying “I have completely disconnected from my emotions and not having feelings or emotions is the best way to be a man”. I believed that for a very long time - it’s only in the past 2-3 years I have begun the work of breaking that down and reconnecting with my own emotions. It’s all tied up in trauma, depression, and anxiety so it takes a bit of fucking work but it’s very much worth it. If you are a man/male who thinks it is normal to not have emotions (or that emotions make you feminine/weak) please listen to me - THAT IS BULLSHIT. YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF TO HAVE EMOTIONS.

“... young men described just one narrow route to successful masculinity. One-third said they felt compelled to suppress their feelings, to “suck it up” or “be a man” when they were sad or scared, and more than 40 percent said that when they were angry, society expected them to be combative.“

Emotions are not weakness. You are not weak for having them, feeling them, or connecting with them. There is great strength in connecting with yourself and understanding your emotions. Don’t let anyone tell you different. They are delusional at best and actively trying to harm you at worst.

“While following the conventional script may still bring social and professional rewards to boys and men, research shows that those who rigidly adhere to certain masculine norms are not only more likely to harass and bully others but to themselves be victims of verbal or physical violence. They’re more prone to binge-drinking, risky sexual behavior, and getting in car accidents. They are also less happy than other guys, with higher depression rates and fewer friends in whom they can confide.”

---

How did we get here!? Have men always been this way? What about the good ole masculinity of ye olden times? It was a simple time where men were men right? A man’s man? “According to Andrew Smiler, a psychologist who has studied the history of Western masculinity, the ideal late-19th-century man was compassionate, a caretaker, but such qualities lost favor as paid labor moved from homes to factories during industrialization. In fact, the Boy Scouts, whose creed urges its members to be loyal, friendly, courteous, and kind, was founded in 1910 in part to counter that dehumanizing trend. Smiler attributes further distortions in masculinity to a century-long backlash against women’s rights. During World War I, women proved that they could keep the economy humming on their own, and soon afterward they secured the vote. Instead of embracing gender equality, he says, the country’s leaders “doubled down” on the inalienable male right to power, emphasizing men’s supposedly more logical and less emotional nature as a prerequisite for leadership.”

Take a minute to read that and really take it in. Like many things in the US (and the world) the effects of industrialization and war shaped our current version of accepted masculinity. More specifically the leaders of this country (and leaders in other countries) used their positions of power to strengthen men and this new masculinity in our institutions. Then we were taught that this was the “right way” to “be a man”. FUCK. THIS. SHIT.

“Today many parents are unsure of how to raise a boy, what sort of masculinity to encourage in their sons. But as I learned from talking with boys themselves, the culture of adolescence, which fuses hyper-rationality with domination, sexual conquest, and a glorification of male violence, fills the void.“

Here we have the core of what I experience as a man when it comes to the current socially accepted version of masculinity and why it fucks me up. I don’t identify with any of this shit! It does not feed me. It does not make me feel fulfilled and happy. It doesn’t make the world better for anyone it simply dehumanizes us all. 

“In a classic study, adults shown a video of an infant startled by a jack-in-the-box were more likely to presume the baby was “angry” if they were first told the child was male. Mothers of young children have repeatedly been found to talk more to their girls and to employ a broader, richer emotional vocabulary with them; with their sons, again, they tend to linger on anger. As for fathers, they speak with less emotional nuance than mothers regardless of their child’s sex. Despite that, according to Judy Y. Chu, a human-biology lecturer at Stanford who conducted a study of boys from pre-K through first grade, little boys have a keen understanding of emotions and a desire for close relationships. But by age 5 or 6, they’ve learned to knock that stuff off, at least in public: to disconnect from feelings of weakness, reject friendships with girls (or take them underground, outside of school), and become more hierarchical in their behavior.“

I’m not going to get into the topic of my own father (that’s another post in this series for sure) too deeply but I will say I completely identify with these ideas. Emotional distance, only expressing anger, telling me having emotions was weak. This was reinforced societal norms throughout my youth through today. Don’t talk about your problems or feelings. Ball them up inside. Wall yourself off from the world. Connections = weakness that others will exploit. You must control every situation and hold power over others. FUCK. THIS. SHIT.

---

So when did I wake up? When did I start to see through this shit in some way? When my younger sister was born. It was really obvious to me that she was treated in a different way and expectations of her as a girl/woman were not the same as the expectations others had for me. Mostly I just saw the negatives in this. It took me time (and lots of communication and experiences with my partner and others) to recognize the root of this was more fucked up socialization. 

“Girlfriends, mothers, and in some cases sisters were the most common confidants of the boys I met. While it’s wonderful to know they have someone to talk to—and I’m sure mothers, in particular, savor the role—teaching boys that women are responsible for emotional labor, for processing men’s emotional lives in ways that would be emasculating for them to do themselves, comes at a price for both sexes. Among other things, that dependence can leave men unable to identify or express their own emotions, and ill-equipped to form caring, lasting adult relationships.”

Read this carefully. Nobody is responsible for your emotional well being but you. If you are a male/man this is especially true - females/women are not responsible for managing your emotions and your reliance on them to take care of this is a form of abuse. They are not responsible for your emotions. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN EMOTIONS.

It can be really hard to see this. It was a blind spot for me for way too long. Don’t let it be one for you. Connecting with and taking responsibility for your emotions is one of the biggest things you can do to improve yourself as a human being. If you are sad you can cry. If you are happy you can laugh. You have a wide range of emotions and they don’t all lead to frustration or anger.

“As someone who, by virtue of my sex, has always had permission to weep, I didn’t initially understand this. Only after multiple interviews did I realize that when boys confided in me about crying—or, even more so, when they teared up right in front of me—they were taking a risk, trusting me with something private and precious: evidence of vulnerability, or a desire for it.“

---

Okay so putting aside all of the reinforcement we get from our parents and institutions and our lack of emotional vulnerability why do we all buy into this dumb shit? Who convinced us all this is what masculinity is? And why do we listen?

“What the longtime sportswriter Robert Lipsyte calls “jock culture” (or what the boys I talked with more often referred to as “bro culture”) is the dark underbelly of male-dominated enclaves, whether or not they formally involve athletics: all-boys’ schools, fraternity houses, Wall Street, Silicon Valley, Hollywood, the military. Even as such groups promote bonding, even as they preach honor, pride, and integrity, they tend to condition young men to treat anyone who is not “on the team” as the enemy (the only women who ordinarily make the cut are blood relatives— bros before hos!), justifying any hostility toward them. Loyalty is paramount, and masculinity is habitually established through misogynist language and homophobia.”

Sounds familiar right guys? Don’t kid yourself. This is what being a man looks like in almost all situations in which we feel “safe” to express our self right? You are either with us or against us. Anything different or anyone questioning this behavior must be “othered” as they are clearly not “on the team”. FUCK. THIS. SHIT.

This was my entire experience as a youth. As someone who did not fit into this group (nor wanted to) I was immediately “othered” and deemed a “pussy” or “fag” or “homo” or “weirdo”. My friend group reflected this - mostly others who also were “not on the team” like women, gays and lesbians, and men who also did not identify with this version of masculinity. Which just made it easier to group us all together and identify us as the enemy. 

“Just because some young men now draw the line at referring to someone who is openly gay as a fag doesn’t mean, by the way, that gay men (or men with traits that read as gay) are suddenly safe. If anything, the gay guys I met were more conscious of the rules of manhood than their straight peers were. They had to be—and because of that, they were like spies in the house of hypermasculinity.” Without the ability to connect with and express my emotions I often reacted in anger. I started fights. I got violent (with words and writing mostly). I returned this “othering” and treated them all as the enemy. I had other reasons for this (being abused by men as a boy) but at the crux of the issue I had no trust for men. This helped me connect with women and my gay friends as they also experienced this distrust in similar (and different) ways. 

Years later I found myself in a job where I managed a group of men (100 or more at any time) working as a team (video game industry) and totally unable to connect with any of them as a human let alone a man. It was at this time that I realized this was a problem beyond my own experiences and when I started to understand my own participation in this system. 

I tried to question things as they came up. I tried to hear my teammates and help them navigate this murky sea of masculinity to find their own place in it. Most people didn’t want to participate. They learned to keep their mouth shut if I was within earshot of their typical “bro talk”. They learned to act differently around me so as not to incur my wrath (using my anger and position of power to punish them for being sexist, racist, or intolerant). I felt powerful and I tricked myself into thinking I was making a difference. I was wrong. 

---

“Recently, Pascoe turned her attention to no homo, a phrase that gained traction in the 1990s. She sifted through more than 1,000 tweets, primarily by young men, that included the phrase. Most were expressing a positive emotion, sometimes as innocuous as “I love chocolate ice cream, #nohomo” or “I loved the movie The Day After Tomorrow, #nohomo.” “A lot of times they were saying things like ‘I miss you’ to a friend or ‘We should hang out soon,’ ” she said. “Just normal expressions of joy or connection.” No homo is a form of inoculation against insults from other guys, Pascoe concluded, a “shield that allows boys to be fully human.”

It wasn’t long before my “making a difference” spread into our hiring, training, and management of the team. I brought in women who wanted to work in the game industry. I tried to shut down any of the bro culture bullshit that came up and used it as an opportunity to teach other men why it was fucked up. It worked for some (maybe 5-6 people out of hundreds) but the majority either quit or tried to get me fired. Most did not change their behavior in any way. 

The women said they knew what they were getting into. I don’t believe they knew what it was like to actually be in the middle of the situation. I assume women in the military probably have a lot of experience like this. In short - it’s fucking toxic and disgusting. Like other males/men they too have to fall in line and “become one of the boys” or risk being antagonized and ostracized for being “different”. It’s Lord of the Flies. It’s fucking mob mentality. It’s masculinity at it’s absolute worst. And this was in a “progressive” creative city working for a small company with a woman CEO. Men simply don’t give a fuck and it’s almost always easier to go with the flow. FUCK. THIS. SHIT.

My first experience with a trans individual in a work setting occurred was while I was managing this team. One of our long term employees made the transition and I had to watch how they were treated by the “bros’. Jokes were made, memes were shared, snickering and fucked up behavior was rampant. I had to talk to, discipline, and fire many individuals. These were men I thought were “on the team” and working to be good examples of masculinity. I should have known that was just part of the act - their way of surviving and showing subservience to me as a man in a position of power over them. My trust was further eroded in masculinity. 

Putting yourself over others is not power. It is dehumanization and it stems from hate. We can be different without being better or worse than someone else regardless of who they are. Not everything has to be a competition. It took me way too long to undo the damage done to me by these ideal of toxic masculinity. You can do it too - you just have to start today. 

---

Beyond the negative effects this version of masculinity has on us as males/men it also fucks up our interaction with women and sexual partners and it’s certainly done so to me. I’m actively working on unfucking my fucking and aware that many of my heterosexual ideals of sex stem from the same shit I have been actively fighting against most of my life. Connecting emotionally with your sexual partner takes things to a completely different level.

“It’s not like I imagined boys would gush about making sweet, sweet love to the ladies, but why was their language so weaponized ? The answer, I came to believe, was that locker-room talk isn’t about sex at all, which is why guys were ashamed to discuss it openly with me. The (often clearly exaggerated) stories boys tell are really about power: using aggression toward women to connect and to validate one another as heterosexual, or to claim top spots in the adolescent sexual hierarchy. Dismissing that as “banter” denies the ways that language can desensitize—abrade boys’ ability to see girls as people deserving of respect and dignity in sexual encounters.”  

This is the first thing that comes to my mind when I hear the term “rape culture”. As men we are taught that to be masculine is to claim “wins” in sexual conquest. Sex is property and we can collect it. Even if it’s with our long term partners or spouses. Ever tried talking to men about this? Ever questioned others on how it’s fucked up? You probably heard about how it’s all in jest. Just a joke! I’m just joking!  “When called out, boys typically claim that they thought they were just being “funny.” And in a way that makes sense—when left unexamined, such “humor” may seem like an extension of the gross-out comedy of childhood. Little boys are famous for their fart jokes, booger jokes, poop jokes. It’s how they test boundaries, understand the human body, gain a little cred among their peers. But, as can happen with sports, their glee in that can both enable and camouflage sexism. The boy who, at age 10, asks his friends the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball may or may not find it equally uproarious, at 16, to share what a woman and a bowling ball have in common (you can Google it). He may or may not post ever-escalating “jokes” about women, or African Americans, or homosexuals, or disabled people on a group Snapchat. He may or may not send “funny” texts to friends about “girls who need to be raped,” or think it’s hysterical to surprise a buddy with a meme in which a woman is being gagged by a penis, her mascara mixed with her tears. He may or may not, at 18, scrawl the names of his hookups on a wall in his all-male dorm, as part of a year-long competition to see who can “pull” the most. Perfectly nice, bright, polite boys I interviewed had done one or another of these things.”

Let me be clear in case you are confused. This shit isn’t funny. Laughing at other people’s misfortune is a long standing human tradition yes - and it still dehumanizes everyone involved. That doesn’t make me laugh but maybe you are still amused? Why?

“At the most disturbing end of the continuum, “funny” and “hilarious” become a defense against charges of sexual harassment or assault. To cite just one example, a boy from Steubenville, Ohio, was captured on video joking about the repeated violation of an unconscious girl at a party by a couple of high-school football players. “She is so raped,” he said, laughing. “They raped her quicker than Mike Tyson.” When someone off camera suggested that rape wasn’t funny, he retorted, “It isn’t funny—it’s hilarious!”

The classic toxic masculinity force field present in my life has been the “just joking” phrase with the ultimate no consequence phrase “it’s hilarious!”. Say something you don’t want to manage the consequences for? Just a joke! People still question you or your morals after saying some heinous shit? No.. it’s cool... it’s hilarious! You just gotta laugh! FUCK. THIS. SHIT.

“Hilarious” is another way, under the pretext of horseplay or group bonding, that boys learn to disregard others’ feelings as well as their own. “Hilarious” is a haven, offering distance when something is inappropriate, confusing, depressing, unnerving, or horrifying; when something defies boys’ ethics. It allows them to subvert a more compassionate response that could be read as unmasculine—and makes sexism and misogyny feel transgressive rather than supportive of an age-old status quo. Boys may know when something is wrong; they may even know that true manhood—or maybe just common decency—compels them to speak up. Yet, too often, they fear that if they do, they’ll be marginalized or, worse, themselves become the target of derision from other boys. Masculinity, then, becomes not only about what boys do say, but about what they don’t—or won’t, or can’t—say, even when they wish they could. The psychologists Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson, the authors of Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys, have pointed out that silence in the face of cruelty or sexism is how too many boys become men. 

I feel like I may have already gone too far into this dark hole of shit that fucks me up around toxic masculinity. I hope I didn’t lose you. I hope you have questions and thoughts about how this impacts your life. Perhaps ways that you make a change today to fight against this bullshit. You may be asking yourself “what can we do!?” At the end of the day its up to males/men to change this culture. It’s not about self-hate or self-abuse. We gotta name this and own it. We need more men to step up and say ‘It doesn’t have to be like this”. Our collective mental health requires us to be more flexible and connected to ourselves and emotions. We need to find ways to deal with our anger, frustration, and desires in ways that don’t hurt ourselves and others. We need to teach ourselves (especially youth) that it isn’t enough to only talk about things we shouldn’t (and hopefully won’t) do. 

If this shit fucks you too you can do something about it. Start with yourself. Question these things when they come up. And not only when you feel “safe” to do so. Do it consistently in ways that are non-confrontational (they will probably lead to confrontations with most men anyway - sorry). Be okay with not always “winning’ in these situations. You’ll be surprised who you might connect with in the process. Hopefully one of those people will be yourself. 

[fallen029]

Risk and Reward

When he was a little boy, Laxus found that he felt alone. A lot.

Which wasn't wholly true. Gramps was always there. Even when his parents couldn't be. Separated by death from his mother and by mental instability from his father, the man was a rather steady constant in his early life. Not to mention many of the other, now long gone members from the guildhall that had no real, lasting impression on Fairy Tail's new breed, not really, but when he remembered the glory days, the people he emulated and adored, it was always from when he was around the age of five and even the lowliest of mage looked like a master.

Still, for all the people he was around, Laxus always felt kinda lonely. The women in the guild liked to sing to him and giggle at all his fantastical, little child lies and the men liked to toss him up on their shoulders and tell fantastical embellishments of their own.

But they all left.

Eventually.

The life of the mage was hard and not made for family men leading to many leaving it as they aged. It was an unreliable profession, if it could even be called that, that was abandoned somewhere along the way for most. It always stung though, hurt real deep, when someone had their emblem removed because they'd gotten married or found something more productive to do with their time, than drinking and spell casting.

When he was really little, Laxus couldn't wait to have a kid of his own, a son, who'd he teach magic to and come home with gifts from exotic places for, like his daddy did for him. But as Ivan got more deluded and memories of his faded from his mind, it became difficult for him, even as a young child, to desire that.

A family.

Because families eventually were ripped apart. Whether from death, illness, or just the person joining a new guild or deciding the life wasn't for them, there was no constant for him. There was no constant for anybody. It was just better to learn and accept that.

The closest thing you could ever have, ever treasure, were friends and it took him a damn long time, even, to make that concession. But with as loyal followers as the Thunder Legion, it was hard not to. Even as hard as he tried to push them away, as horrible as he was to them at times, they were there for him, to see him through it.

And he had no doubt, regardless what became of the guild or any of their personal lives, that nothing could ever truly tear them apart.

Nothing.

But that didn't mean that he went back on any of his other assertions. No. As he grew, Laxus found little need for a family. Nothing deeper than the guild or the Thunder Legion, at least. He had fine luck with women and when something ran it's course, that was just it.

It was good that way.

For a long time.

He figured it was the same way for Mirajane too, honestly, in the beginning. She told him as much, or at least he felt, one of the nights when they laid together in his bed and tried hard to not consider the ramifications of their relationships recent development.

"My parents loved one another," she recalled softly as he laid beside, seemingly disinterested outwardly, hoping he didn't give away too much how deeply he cared for her words. "Very much. We didn't have a lot, you know, or they didn't, I guess, but… They sick. One right after the other. And then… Sometimes it just bothers me, I guess. To think about. How you can do everything right, bother absolutely no one, and you still end up..."

He agreed.

Wholeheartedly.

Life took things from you. Everything from you. And fine, yes, you had to make some concessions, allow yourself some joys, but to take too much, to indulge too harshly, only led to heartbreak. You didn't need more than a guild and good friends. Anything more just bled you dry eventually.

Which was why he knew that it had to end eventually. He welcomed it, even. He and Mirajane were never supposed to be together, it was a gross overstepping of boundaries and he knew, oh man, he knew, how sticky and horrible guild relationships went, but he just…

They both loved Fairy Tail, more than anything, and knew what it stood for and meant. So when, inevitably, everything in their slowly forming relationship broke apart, he just hoped they'd be able to amicably find peace between them.

If only for the sake of the enigma they both treasured so deeply.

But things never seemed to reach their natural end. He thought they should. Soon. He was gone a lot, on his S-Class jobs, and that was usually what led to women eventually growing tired of him. It made it difficult to build a connection, much less maintain it, and he was reaching an age where the women in his circle wanted some sort of commitment.

Something real.

But Laxus always felt too real.

Mira was always just there though, holding down the guildhall while he was away, and she didn't seem to wonder what took him so long, on jobs that seemed rather upfront. Never questioned his activity or absence.

"I'd travel too," she admitted to him once. "If I could."

When he mentioned her ability to do just this, she only shook her head, made a vague reference to the bar, and, well, he wasn't pushing her into anything. Not when she wasn't doing it to him either.

That was the thing though. She wasn't pushing him. At all. Mirajane seemed just as content with their lack of pace as he was trying so hard to find any sort of issue with it. There was nothing he could find wrong with them, not enough to sacrifice what she did bring to his life at least, and man, he wanted there to be something.

Anything.

But there was nothing.

"Sometimes," Mira told him one night as they walked to his apartment together, late at night, after he stuck around to watch her close down the hall, "I just want to stay in moments. You know?"

He knew.

But he also knew that you couldn't.

Because time went forward and feelings couldn't stay stagnate, no matter how much you wanted them to. They either grew or diminished and he didn't understand it, really, why it was becoming increasingly hard to even picture himself with someone else, to think about what he wanted with Mirajane, their life, their future, and how could he even think about that? A future? With someone who thought the exact same as him, that if you fell too hard into it, gave into the universe too much, it would rip your heart right back out of you?

He didn't think he could be that open. That honest. But one morning as they sat at the kitchen table, over the breakfast she'd prepared, Mirajane only stared at him with quizzical eyes and a curious expression.

"Laxus," she asked softly after he finished, laid it all out there, all his thoughts and feelings, in an honesty on stone cold sobriety could provide, "you think that I don't want that? To fall in love and get married and-"

"Your parents died, Mira," he told her plainly with a heavy tone. "And so did mine. And so does everyones. No matter how much you love one another, you always die. Or end up divorced. Or separated. Or you have a kid and you feel stuck together forever even though you're miserable and-"

"Laxus, that's the point though." And she smiled in uncertainty, reaching across the table to lay a hand over his. "You can't experience real happiness without risk. Theirs no reward without it. I didn't tell you about my parents because I hate how it turns out for them; I told you about it because I think about them all the time and how lucky I would be, even if just for a night, to find myself that in love. No matter how it ended."

Staring heavily down at their hands then, Laxus shook his head as he said, "I just… I don't want to be hurt. Or to hurt someone else like that."

"Then you'll never get to really experience it," she replied simply. "And that makes me really sad for you."

She started to retract it then, her hand, to shift back in her seat, but Laxus was quick then, to grasp her hand, and as Mirajane only stared at him with wide eyes, Laxus found his own avoiding the woman's with a huff.

"I think I love you," he whispered softly, making a disgusted face despite his declaration. "Mirajane."

Grinning warmly, she told him in full sincerity, "I know, dragon."

And he couldn't be for sure, certainly not in that moment, that it wouldn't all blow up in his face in the coming days, much less months or years, but as he let out a breath then, he didn't realize how empty he'd feel, with his admission. But as he sucked one right back up, staring into the woman's bright blue eyes, he felt a fullness he hadn't in a long time.

Laxus hadn't felt alone in a long time. Not since he was a little boy. Not since he'd discovered the sense of companionship that could be derived from one's team, friends, followers, and guild.

But that early winter morning, as Mirajane giggled and he allowed himself to smile, if only a bit, he found that there had been something else missing as well. The indulgence he'd always kept at arms length. For as bitter as he knew it would taste, were it to be taken away, he had to admit, in that moment, there was nothing sweeter.

[mediaeval-muse]

Book Review... Gwen Rowley, “Knights of the Round Table: Gawain”

Rating: 2/5 stars

Genre: fantasy romance

Part of a Series? Yes, Knights of the Round Table #3 (of 3)

Summary: Loyal Sir Gawain pledges to marry a hideous crone in exchange for the answer to a riddle that will save King Arthur's life. But the loathly lady is actually the lovely Aislyn, former sorceress, in disguise, who is out to make Gawain pay for rejecting her in the past. Then Aislyn finds herself enchanted by the gallant knight.

***Full review under the cut.***

Overview: I’m currently reading a bunch of romance novels with a friend of mine as a way of getting more familiar with the genre, and I remember seeing this book recommended by another medieval enthusiast, so the two of us decided to give it a whirl. While the idea of retelling the story of Gawain and Ragnelle isn’t inherently a bad one, I felt like this book missed the mark in so many ways. There were some saving graces; the relationship between Arthur and Gawain was very well done, in my opinion. It just wasn’t enough to make up for the things that bothered me.

Trigger Warnings: violence, misogyny, rape

Writing: Rowley writes with a fairly straightforward prose style, but one that tells a lot rather than shows. It wasn’t the most irritating style I’ve encountered; it just made the book more skimmable, which I guess could be a good thing if you’re a reader who likes to get through books quickly. Some of the dialogue was humorous (by design), which made for a more light-hearted reading experience; it did feel very modern than what I would expect of medieval characters, aside from a few stray “yons” and “lemans” thrown in to make it feel more archaic. Honestly, I preferred the more modern style rather than the fake medieval-speak, since the medievalisms made the dialogue feel more wooden than natural. But overall, the I didn’t find the style unbearable - it just wasn’t interesting. The major flaw in the writing, for me, was the random insertion of characters’ memories and flashbacks. They occurred at random moments that interrupted the flow of the story - they sometimes interrupted a sentence that continued on after the memory was over! I would have preferred flashbacks be handled more deliberately, not thrown in whenever something in the plot vaguely reminded a character of something from their past.

Plot: As I mentioned above, the idea of retelling the story of Gawain and Ragnelle isn’t a bad one. I love authors who try to rework medieval tales to give women more agency and character. Unfortunately, Rowley decided to do so in a way that cut out a lot of the most interesting stuff from the original tale. We start with the end of the story, when Aislyn, disguised as a crone named Ragnelle, agrees to give Arthur the answer to his quest in exchange for Gawain’s hand in marriage. Rather than the curse being inflicted on her before the marriage, as it is in the medieval tale, the curse is inflicted after, when a character is trying to punish Aislyn for messing with Gawain (in the form of her using her crone form to torture him for a past slight). For me, this killed all the excitement and shifted the focus away from the original message of the tale (about female agency and sexual dynamics) to one about how love can overcome barriers. It would have been a good shift, but I didn’t get the sense that love was overcoming barriers by the end of the book - Gawain doesn’t seem to actually learn the lesson from the original tale, and Aislyn mostly struggles with whether or not to be obedient to Gawain. While I can understand wanting to make female characters more agentive from the beginning, I found this book’s reworking of the plot less interesting than the original medieval tale. The change in focus also made the plot drag a little bit. In the first 80 pages, all of the focus was on Gawain’s disgust at Ragnelle’s form or Aislyn’s/Ragnelle’s desire for revenge. We follow Gawain and Ragnelle as they explore married life, which isn’t as exciting as it sounds since Gawain is forever struggling with Ragnelle’s ugliness and Ragnelle/Aisling is always looking for ways to torment him. After Aislyn is formally cursed on pages 85-86, the plot has a goal, but nothing in the structure of the narrative seems to work towards that goal in a very efficient way. Events don’t seem to build on one another, so the plot didn’t feel like it had shape. There are also a few events that seem to be inserted to show conflict between Gawain and Lancelot, and some that showcase Gawain’s anguish over his past. While some of these things bring Ragnelle and Gawain closer together, the conflict with Lancelot and Gawain’s emotional pain definitely overshadowed the moments of tenderness between the characters. What I disliked the most, however, was that everyone - main characters and side characters alike - seemed to be in petty conflict with one another. There’s obvious tension between Gawain and Lancelot, and Aislyn’s inner thoughts about Guinevere and the other ladies of the court disappointed me (why can’t we have more medievaly stories in which women band together, I ask). Aside from these conflicts, everyone got on my nerves for treating Ragnelle as subhuman. While their treatment of her could have been the moral lesson of the book, it didn’t come through consistently; I did get the sense that the book was supposed to showcase how Camelot isn’t the paradise it is made out to be, but a lot of the mistreatment felt like drama or humor rather than a teaching tool. I did like, however, that Ragnelle’s purpose seemed to change so that she was at the center of a lot of conflicts between men - in this way, I think she exposed a lot of the underlying problems in a male homosocial society. However, as much as she pointed to a lot of the problems, she also perpetuated them.

Characters: I had an extremely hard time liking either Aislyn or Gawain for a large portion of this book. Aislyn, our heroine, is constantly thinking ill of other women or thinking herself better than them, except in incidents. She’s out for revenge, and while I get that being left by a man you loved is devastating, I personally find seeking revenge for that a little petty, especially when you can just use your words and clear up any misconceptions. She got better as the book progressed, standing up for other women and calling out injustice, but I still had a hard time with her, since she seemed to waver between being a strong-willed character and being a bully. Gawain, despite being one of the best knights in Arthurian lore, starts out as kind of a sexist jerk with a lot of emotional turmoil from his past. His sense of honor was admirable, and I want to make clear that I do think that aspect of him was well done, but he was so angsty that his main purpose was to be a wet blanket for most of the book. I also wasn’t wholly convinced he had changed in his ways by the end of the book. The villains of the piece weren’t even that interesting. Morgause is completely one-dimensional: a power-hungry seductress whose motives aren’t exactly clear and, based on her actions, poses next to no real threat to anyone. Somer Gromer Jour (or Launfal), Aislyn’s brother, could have been interesting if Morgause herself wasn’t so over-the-top and Launfal had more of a purpose other than to be Morgause’s victim. Lancelot and Guinevere are also turned into antagonists by the way they blatantly disrespect not only Ragnelle, but other knights of the Round Table. It was kind of a mess. But despite all that, I did like the relationship between Arthur and Gawain. They had some nice exchanges that showed how complex their dynamic was, with Arthur being both Gawain’s king and uncle. Gawain and Ragnelle also had some nice moments where they were honest with one another, and those bits were well done.

Other Romance: I honestly didn’t see much romantic chemistry between Aislyn and Gawain, perhaps because Aislyn was so antagonistic towards him for so long. Don’t get me wrong - I’m a fan of enemies-to-lovers tropes, but this novel didn’t really feel like it was really getting to the heart of the angst and pain between the characters and working on unraveling it. Instead, the conflict was easily cleared up by just talking (even if the characters didn’t act on it for a long time). Instead, their relationship felt more platonic, which wouldn’t be a problem if this book was marketed as a genre other than romance. Misogyny: I understand that a lot of authors writing about the Middle Ages will embed some sexism in their books, but I am still irritated when I see it. Rowley has Gawain start out as holding very misogynistic views, despite his medieval counterpart being one of the most courteous knights to women (and even in the book, Gawain wavers back and forth). The book also makes use of various tropes which  I dislike: Morgause is a seductress who (I think) rapes Launfal regularly, characters use words like “bitch” and “slut,” a male character views his wife as worthless for not bearing a son, etc. Poor Guinevere couldn’t catch a break since she was being portrayed as a cheating harlot the whole time, and Morgana popped in for all of 10 seconds to serve her part in the plot before moving on. Rowley also writes an episode where the Saxons blame the women for the peaceweaver system failing, which was utterly baffling to me. And Gawain still seems to hold his view that a wife should be obedient to her husband until the very last second - around page 307 of the book.

Moving on to Other Books in the Series? No.

Recommendations: I would recommend this book if you’re a romance reader or interested in Arthurian retellings.

[iwantthedean]

The Division

Part Six: Life, Here and Now

Summary: Finley gives as much information as she can on The Division; she and Castiel do their best to ward away anyone who may wish to harm the hunters. Pairing: Dean x OFC Finley Word Count: 2360 Fic Warnings: Language, angst, canon-typical supernatural elements. Chapter Warnings: None, other than above. I think. 

Masterlist

Mary and Cas had already stocked up on beers and one hotel room by the time Finley and Dean met them at a hotel in downtown St. Louis. Tensions were still present, but Cas and Dean managed to more or less ignore each other long enough to focus on the conflict at hand. 

Finley opened a beer and took a seat on one of the beds. “Okay, everyone ready for this?”

“We’re listening,” Mary assured. 

“Right.” Finley took a good swig of her beer and set the bottle on the night table. It was going to be easier to do this if she was standing. “After I turned eighteen, I got out of the life. You knew that. I went to college, I graduated. But nothing stuck. I found reasons to not work anywhere that would require a commitment. I took my college degree and I worked in diners — places that I could up and leave without it being any big deal. One day, I was just waiting tables, and this old guy walked in — Cuthbert Sinclair. The head of The Division. He knew that I didn’t belong in that diner, but he also knew I didn’t belong with some other government agency.”

“That’s when you joined The Division,” Dean interjected. 

Finley nodded. “Yes. They took what I already knew and they built on it. See, you know about the Men of Letters. What you don’t know, or maybe haven’t entirely figured out, is that they didn’t entirely disband after Abaddon’s attack. The British Men of Letters came over from London and signed responsibilities over to the American government — or at least that’s what we were told.”

Cas nodded. “But now you don’t think so.”

“I think the American government was a funding front. What I saw when Cuthbert was killed — what I heard — was the Brits telling him that he had broken policies. If the American government was really behind The Division, why would the Brits insist their policies be followed?” She gulped down another swig of beer. “They want hunters who don’t want to do things their way dead. That’s what Gordon wanted out of me, and I think that’s what Cuthbert was fighting against. We all fight the same monsters, we all fight for the same cause. Maybe we go about it a little differently, but that’s no reason to go around killing an entire community.”

Mary shook her head. “So they’re going to keep coming after us — especially Finley. But if they’re holding strong that Cuthbert was violating policies, why would they frame you?”

Finley shrugged. “This is what they do. They pick a target and they break you down until you give in or you die. Those are your choices. Really, The Division wasn’t so different from the British Men of Letters. We were trained that our cause and our purpose was so sensitive, anyone who dared to go against us or leave the organization would threaten all of our lives. Turns out we were the threat the whole time.” She ran a hand through her hair. “They’ll use any means necessary to break us down. They’ll break us apart from each other, they’ll torture us. They’ll turn people we thought would always be loyal against us. I think our best bet is for me to keep on to the headquarters, and the three of you to gather as many as you can to go against them. There will be strength in numbers, and with me on my own, they’ll be distracted long enough for you to build a defense.”

Mary interjected. “No, we’re in this together. Even if we have to part again, we do it strategically. This isn’t another hunt — this is our lives.”

“Exactly,” Castiel agreed, stepping behind her. “We do this together, win or lose.”

Finley looked at Dean. He didn’t say anything; his gaze bore into her so intensely, tears welled in her eyes. She feared he would give her up, until he spoke. 

“We need something to throw them off our trail, buy us a little time.”

Castiel cleared his throat. “I may be able to help with that. We’ll have to locate another angel, but I think I can do it.”

“Do what, exactly?” Finley questioned. 

“A warding. It’ll be stronger than the tattoo I’ve got, but I can’t promise it’ll last.”

“I can. There’s a warding spell that’s — well, it’s pretty fucking old. But we won’t have to find an angel, which means Castiel won’t have to steal anyone’s grace.”

Dean frowned at his friend. “That’s what you were going to do?”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Castiel admitted. 

“The spell,” Mary prompted. “What do we need?”

A couple of minutes passed while Finley tried to remember both the ingredients and the words for the spell. Once she had it all written down, they made a plan to search in teams for them around the city before convening back at the room. There would be some danger to searching out the ingredients, but once they had them and the spell could be completed, that wouldn’t be a problem. 

The foursome ended up splitting women and men; while Castiel fetched something from Mary’s car, Finley pulled Dean aside. 

“You don’t have to do this, if you don’t want to. I’ve told you before, I’m fine on my own. If you want to walk away, I won’t hold a grudge.”

“Well, yeah, you would, first of all,” Dean snorted. He held loosely to one of her hands. “But the point is, I’m not going anywhere. You knew to run to me when you were in trouble, and there’s no way I could run from you when you’re in trouble — and it isn’t just you now, Fin. It’s all of us.”

He kissed her forehead before getting in the Impala, leaving Finley to watch him drive away. 

Finley carefully navigated the streets of St. Louis, searching out the first store where they would check for the needed ingredients for the spell. Mary wasn’t ever up for small talk, but if Finley didn’t start talking and stop chewing on her bottom lip, she was going to draw blood soon. 

“Something on your mind?” 

Finley glanced over to the passenger seat before fixing her eyes back on the road. “Just thinking about that wraith hunt.”

Mary frowned. “Something wrong about it?”

“No, definitely not. Those final moments were nearly flawless — that spell’s one of my favorites, to be honest. But I keep thinking about how we would have gotten out of it if I had never joined The Division, if I had just stayed in the life. I would have known another way, I guess, because I probably would have been fighting wraiths all the time.”

“There’s something about being a hunter,” Mary acknowledged. “We live a seemingly normal life, but there’s all these secrets and close calls underneath it. When I met John, when I knew we were going to have a life together, I couldn’t wait to stop hunting. But then we got married and the boys came and I still couldn’t stop. It’s embedded in our DNA, I think, for people like us. Our parents were in it, and we can never get out. Not really.”

Finley pulled into a parking stall and turned off the engine. “It’s not only about hunting. How did I get here? How did I become an enemy of the state? All I wanted was out of hunting, but like you said, there is no getting out of it when the connection is familial. I thought I found a compromise in The Division, but now it feels like I’m in it deeper than ever.”

Mary did something then that only a mother might know to do in that moment. She surveyed Finley’s eyes searching out the windshield, trying to get the bearings on her life, and responded by pulling Finley into a tight hug. She said nothing, she didn’t try to comfort Finley, or tell her everything was going to work out. In truth, there was no way to know that. So, Mary hugged Finley, who took a few seconds to respond in kind, but when she did, she hugged Mary tighter than she had hugged anyone since her own mother. 

“Thank you,” Finley whispered. 

They all returned to the hotel several hours later, empty-handed. Dean ran a hand over his face, trying to come up with another option. 

“Cas, what about finding you some grace?”

Mary’s brow rose. “As in, stealing it from another angel? Have you done that before?”

“Only in dire circumstances, which I would say these are,” Castiel responded. “We’d still have to find the ingredients to summon an angel, or figure out another way to hunt one down. Finley?”

“We can do it without an angel. There’s another spell, one only taught to elite agents of The Division, in keeping with the Men of Letters tradition. It would keep us from any interference — even archangels.”

Castiels eyes went wide. “Life-bound warding? You know how to do that.”

Finley nodded. “Our best bet is to do the drawing on the cars, but the second part might be trickier. Here, everyone grab a paper from this, find a pen or something. We’ve got to get this right if it’s gonna work.”

“What’s the second part?” Dean asked. 

Castiel and Finley exchanged a look before Castiel came out with it. “The second part is to draw it on our chests above our hearts.”

“How do we do that? Sharpies or something?”

Finley cleared her throat and shook her head. “Knives. It’s got to go into the skin.”

“Great,” Dean sighed, setting about finding a pen so he could copy the sigil Finley and Castiel were teaching them to draw. After a few rounds of practicing, they could carry out the warding, then get back on the road. 

Benny Lafitte checked his surroundings before sitting at his desk and calling his field agent. The other man answered on the second ring. 

“They’re in St. Louis. Gordon, Christian, and Cole are all down. They’re on their way back to headquarters for a debriefing.”

“Hunters got to her before they did?” Benny asked. 

“For the most part. From what I can tell, they’re working on a warding sigil, then they’ll continue on to Topeka.” The other man chuckled. “Thank goodness for thin motel walls.”

Benny chuckled, too, and it had a sliver of relief to it. “I’ll second that. Have they suspected you’re following them?” 

“Not as far as I can tell. I’m keeping my distance — no reason to break my cover. If they make me, I’m not sure I can get them to trust me, which means I’d likely end up in a position I don’t wanna be in.”

“Yeah, I’ll bet you would,” Benny agreed. “Keep that distance, but keep your eye on them. We’re working on things here at home base, so we’re ready when they come. If it looks even for a second that they’re spooked, you’d better let me know.”

“Will do, sir. I’ll check in first thing, unless you’ve got updates before then.”

“Sounds good.”

Benny hung up the phone then, checked again for anyone who may have been listening, then gathered his things to leave for the night. 

Finley put her gun on the nightstand, propped a pillow against the headboard, and leaned back against it. 

“When’s the last time you slept?” Dean asked, quiet so as not to wake Mary or Castiel, laying close to each other in the other bed. That fact was eating away at him, but he wanted to avoid the same conflict they had run into before. He didn’t understand, and he didn’t like it, but he was doing his best to keep those thoughts to himself. 

“Before they found me in Saint Louis. When’s the last time you slept?”

“Little before that, when someone dropped me and made her getaway.”

She couldn’t help but smile a bit. “Did I apologize for that, by the way? I really thought I was doing what was best. Figured you’d never leave on your own.”

“We’ve been over that,” Dean reminded her, propping his pillow up the same as her. “You should sleep while you can. We’re warded. No one’s coming tonight, Fin.”

“I know that,” she whispered. “Doesn’t mean I can convince myself of that, though. Runner by nature, remember? I’m just used to being on the ready.”

Dean put an arm around her. “You don’t have to be ready anymore. Not with me. Not unless we’re running together. For right now, I’m stationary. I’m going to try and get some rest, which is a new thing for me, but maybe we can give it a shot together.”

Figuring it was a stretch for Dean to talk about sleeping instead of staying up to keep watch, Finley compromised. She kept herself upright, kept her gun on the nightstand, but leaned into him. He ran his fingers up and down her arm, the best thing he could think of to help her relax. 

“Your mom hugged me earlier.”

Dean smiled and kissed her hair. “She did, huh?”

“Yeah. I think she didn’t know what to say. Or knew there was nothing she could say, to make me stop thinking what I was thinking.”

“What were you thinking?”

Finley licked her lips; her eyelids were already getting heavy. “Trying to figure out how I got from where I started to where I am now. This isn’t the life I always wanted to escape, but it’s not the life I wanted, either.”

Dean wanted to say something, but like Mary earlier in the day, he understood this as one of those moments when it was better not to say anything. He held her a little tighter, continuing to rub up and down her arm until he felt the deep, even rhythm of her breathing in her sleep. 

She wouldn’t like it if she woke up and realized, and Dean would never tell her if she didn’t figure it out on her own, but he had every intention of staying awake and keeping watch until morning came.  

Keep It Original: @ashleymalfoy @atc74 @melbrandes @smoothdogsgirl @illisea @spnbaby-67 

The Division: @xtina2191 @itsallaboutthedean @roxyspearing @adoptdontshoppets

[scaip]

The foil of a king

I’ll develop a bit the idea that Carla Tsukinami is a foil of Karl Heinz. While I think this is not a new idea in the fandom, let’s try to give more depth to the topic.

The rest is under read more due to length

First: Names.

Karl has obvious german vibes, while Carla is its feminine form.

A quick research on Wikitionary (1), (2) shows that Karl means free-man from the proto-germanic, used as a nickname in Old Norse or as a given name in Old High German. Quite old, eh?

Dialovers is full of germanic references: Richter. Mertz. Heinz. Krone. Giesbasch. Rotingenberg. Banmaden. The ominous, dark germanic background is there in a meta sense.

 The fact that of all the DiaLover’s suitors, Carla is the only one with a non-japanese name strikes me a lot.

Second: Appearances Both are tall men with long white hair and golden eyes. While we never may know how Karl originally looked like, in the current time line he has epic long hair and yellow eyes. However, Carla looks more stern than shady. Karl his shady and transmits chills, his design tells us he is sneaky, hiding something.

Third: As Individuals

Both are very intellent and have great magical power, however, Carla is limited due Endzeit, while Karl has deux ex machina abilities. As far as I remember, we never got to see Carla’s true unleashed potential, only glimpses of it. They are an oddity among their own kind when it comes of their prowess: king Giesbach was jealous and paranoid about prince Carla and Shin’s power doesn’t appear to rival Carla. Karl rules over the state of the Makai, can reset reality, changes his physical appearance, has knowledge about politics, diverse branches of science... we get it, he is clever and magically powerful.

Both are also open-minded individuals. I don’t recall if it was in Vandead Carnival or Lunatic Parade, but Yui gets to learn servants at Heinz’s castle were sent to learn about human customs. Karl appears to idealize humanity, but doesn’t limit himself to watch, he investigates and takes customs and information from there. He even sends his own children to a human school. Carla, for his part, reads both demon and human authors, and enjoys artistic content no matter the source.

Fourth: Younger brothers In Haunted Dark Bridal, Reiji tells Cordelia that if someone like her is the cause between Karl and Richter’s rift, then they mustn't have been close in the first place. We never see Richter interact with Karl. We know Richter had some sort of duel for Cordelia's hand, but lost it. In fact, we don't know much about the relationship between both brothers. We can only guess Richter has to constantly live in the shadow of his older brother. Yet, in Lost Eden he appeared to teach Ayato how to deal with the Eden Castle, he had important information. Both siblings have a distant relationship, but seemed to have been close enough at some point. Or they simply were taught how to deal with the Makai as princes. Or Karl gives him information as he sees fit. Then, we have Carla and Shin. While in some bad endings things end up in tragedy if Yui chooses to pursuit the other sibling, in the good ones, you get to see they give up the girl and remain close. They love each other. Shin behaves inmaturely and Carla is bad at openly expressing his love and concern to his brother. Carla bowed his head to a king he disliked and did something very violent to his younger sibling because losing Shin's life would have been worse. There's competence and resentment, however, you see them go past it and keep loving each other. The affection is there, they only needed to work their communication skills in order to have a healthier relationship.

Fifth: Their relationship with women We don't know much about Heinz's relationships with other women outside his three wives. In Lost Eden, Richter tells Kino his brother used to have many lovers. He seemed to behave as some sort of big-brother figure to Christa until she grow up. The thing is: he was abusive and manipulative to his wives, lacked empathy to their sufferings (and therefore, to their sons') but we don't know more about other women of his past. About other female figures. He has the whole I-am-bad-at-dealing-with-my-feelings excuse because the Eden would meet a bad ending. So, I can only say he was a horrible man to his wives, but lack information about other potential non-romantic and non-sexual relationships with women. One thing I really liked about Carla's route in Dark Fate is the narrative women were given. The Makai people are, obviously, a patriarchal society, I even bet there is some salic law for inheritance. Yet, we get to see how more women dealed with that society: Queen Krone not only feared for Carla when it came to the mistreatment he received from King Giesbach, but for her people too. Giesbach wasn't right in the head and she didn't like it, but had to give Carla a knife in order to stop the madness. Carla was close to his mother, and it is rare to see a positive mother-son relationship in Dialovers. There is lady/princess Nemae too: she was close to her nephews and did what she could in order to help her dying people. While both women met tragic endings, we got to see some positive actions in them. There is also Yui. in Dark Fate, Carla abuses and mistreats her, yet she stood it all bravely despite her fear. Yui is loyal, kind and honest with him. She managed to break past his roughness and help him move forward. Being shutted inside a castle full of dying people for years until Carla and Shin were the only ones left alive is something plainly taken from a horror movie and it left Shin and him full of resentment, but he gets to slowly start to walk forward. In Lost Eden he even asks for her opinion when it comes to his ideas. From Karl's side, we don't know what else he did with his wives, other than use them for child-bearing.

Sixth: Monarchy Both are kings. Carla is the king of the First Bloods, the original population of the Makai. Karl is the leader of the Bat Clan and, according to the reset in Lost Eden; it also appears his role as the king influences the Makai as a whole, having his feelings/state of mind connected to the topography of the place. However, all of Carla’s subjects, minus Shin, are dead due to the Endzeit pandemic. He only rules over their old castle... and wherever remains of the good ol’ Ancestor land? Heinz, meanwhile, rules over whatever territories reach the Bat’s domain. He also influences other clans (or at least knows how keep the Vibora Clan in control) and is a politician in the Japan of the Human Realm. Both introduce themselves as rather misterious individuals, however, Carla’s prominence is bigger to us, the fandom, as he is a character who has his own routes. Karl drives the plot, but always remains a secondary character. This means we get to know more about Carla than Karl. As I said in above, both are open-minded individuals. Heinz takes into consideration humanity(or rather, his own vision of it), and Carla does so too. In Lost Eden, Carla, in order to reach his goals, started an alliance with the Ghouls, despite the prejudices common demons hold against them, and ASKED YUI her opinion about it. He keeps it in mind all possible options, and doesn't mind doing something 'degrading' if it is for the greater good.

To conclude this: I really believe both characters, Carla and Karl, are foils to one another. However, while Karl never gets past his issues, Carla grows. We still lack information about Karl, so we don't know much about him in order to give him proper judgement, however, we know one thing: Karl idealizes humanity because he can't get over his issues and pushes the solution of them onto others: whoever ends up with Yui in that Adam and Eve plot. Carla, on the other hand, faces things and we see him grow. He is close to people, even if they are few (Shin and Yui), but at least we see him getting close to someone new: Yui. Karl, on the other side, keeps the spectre/spirit of Socrates as his friend... and seems to be the only close person he has. He loves Christa, but doesn't treat her well. Carla, on the other hand, allows Yui to accompany him

[kierarktina3ever]

An Appreciation Post

In honor of International Women’s Day, I would like to appreciate some of my favorite female characters in TSC.

Clarissa Fairchild. The first female protagonist in the gift that is the fabulous shadowhunter chronicles, she, a sixteen year old girl, is such an amazing confident icon that she somehow managed to get an entire council of adult shadowhunters and downworlders to cooperate and bond to each other for the war against Valentine.

Isabelle Lightwood. Where do I even begin. She’s literally such an icon like she rocks the badass I save my fucking self vibe and kicks demon ass and is just an all around badass all in heels no less than eight inches. Yet she still has the side where she likes to have someone in her life, even if she doesn’t need it which is honestly so relatable and teaches girls that they can be feminists and still stick with the feminine gender roles and date a boy if that’s what they want without being any less of a feminist.

Tessa Gray. Smart as fuck like literally just so fucking smart and intelligent and talks like a fucking dictionary and god I admire her so much. But she also shows the struggle of coming to terms with who you are as you grow into maturity (even if in a rather unorthodox way) and it’s just so inspiring and taught me that sometimes it’s ok to not know what you want or who you are and you are allowed to take your time to figure that out for yourself.

Charlotte Fairchild. Hell fucking yeah. Such a damn feminist icon like she fucking heads an institute while practically raising three shadowhunter children showing each of them the level of love a mother would show despite how difficult Will and Jessamine can be and then goes on to become Consul despite adamant protests from a great number of men of the Clave and this is all BEFORE SHE HAD HER FIRST CHILD SHE WAS SO YOUNG GUYS IF SHE CAN DO ALL THAT I SURE AS HELL CAN DEAL WITH THE SEXIST DUMBASSES IN MY SCHOOL!

Emma Carstairs. There’s the obvious badassery of her and Julian turning normal gender roles on their heads, but aside from that she’s just the most dedicated character I’ve ever read! She gets up at 5am every morning to run and easily trains more than any other shadowhunter her age. She is considered the Jace of her generation AND SHE HAS NO SUPERNATURAL ASSISTANCE!! JUST HER OWN BADASS DETERMINATION AND HARD WORK!!

Cristina Rosales. Honestly the sweetest woman alive. Provides support to everyone and shows kindness and refuses to let Emma hurt Diego even after he broke her heart (obviously Em did it anyway because stubborn) but there’s so much more to her than her kindness. She can kick ass in battle, she has her principles and she sticks to them, she is fiercely loyal to Emma and all the Blackthorns, and she refuses Marks advances at first because she doesn’t want a body without a heart (and let’s be honest morals aside how many people would be strong enough to do that I sure as hell wouldn’t Mark Blackthorn is hot af)

Drusilla Blackthorn. An icon for all the beautiful plus sized women out there. She lives her whole life around these tiny girls because apparently nobody else is plus sized in the shadowhunter World and she puts up with shit from everyone and she obviously struggles with it but in the end she’s always true to herself because she knows just as well as we do that she’s gorgeous mkay?

Livia Blackthorn. Wanted to be just like Julian and grow up to help people and she never got that chance but we know that she would have been the best institute head LA has ever seen!

Helen Blackthorn. The sweetest big sister ever and a bisexual icon. Worries about her siblings all the time on Wrangle island and just has the biggest fucking heart of anyone. She also puts up with so much shit for being half faerie and is never bitter about it she always remains positive for the sake of her family and I think that’s such an underrated quality in her that she just bears all these insults, head held high, and takes the high road.

Aline Penhallow. Shows a beautiful story of discovering her identity and finding the love of her life who she sticks with through thick and thin even when things get rough and she has to spend all that time with her on Wrangle Island she still loves Helen fiercely and oh god they’re just so flawless!!!

Diana Wrayburn. A fucking goddess okay? She had to deal with being called a man for a good chunk of her life and now that she can finally be who she really is she rocks that shit. She is beautiful and amazing and confident and we all love and support her so much and she cares so deeply for all the Blackthorn kids and Emma and Cristina and she’s just such a calming presence even if on the inside she’s freaking out just as much. God bless Diana god I fucking love her.

All the other underrated women of our fandom who deserve all the recognition because we love them all and we love CC for giving them to us. Reblog with all your favorite ladies that I may have missed because it’s 10pm and I’m tired as fuck and just needed this rant.