#but at that time ghost was still on hiatus I think and also we weren't that close. so it didn't feel right to show it. but it existed.
birdmenmanga · 5 months
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some kind of moodboard
@birdmenanime @kitsoa
#just thinking thoughts...#sorry. the phrase 'bird mom loves you both' was so fucking evocative#and then once I started drawing it turned out I had a lot of feelings about this#if either of you want me to take this down let me know#yeah so I've been sitting on that edit of the conversation between takayama and karasuma for ages. like 4 months.#but at that time ghost was still on hiatus I think and also we weren't that close. so it didn't feel right to show it. but it existed.#my mental image of ghostpun is actually largely just that chibi takayama actually#but like that would cause confusion. so i used your discord pfp. your goat person is really nice to draw actually#as for kitsoa. it's supposed to be your fox from tumblr. but I also really associate you with sora(?)'s silhouette so.#it's that. and then hair that COULD be fox ears if you so desired. the ponytail is the tail... the shape is more or less the same.#fistfighting on top of a ferris wheel is a reference to detective conan movie 20: darkest nightmare#it's just so stupid and ridiculous it's my go-to for ludicrous conflicts#yeah anyways onto the actual subject.#to ghost: sorry about this. generally when it comes to fandoms I read most text posts and nod my head thoughtfully and sip my drink#but I guess because I have more cohesive and coherent thoughts about this series in particular I'm less good at just nodding my head#I don't think there's been a single time where we've said something that made the other person go 'YEAH'#like it's always '......well...............'#some nights I wonder whether we read the same series or not. and I feel like you probably feel this way sometimes too#sorry for being so pedantic. I am really not trying to pick a fight with you I promise.#yeah I have no clue what I want to say actually#we go to the same church for worship and like what are we gonna do??? stop going??? fuck no#I don't hate you. I respect you. still trying my damnest to like you. we're still working on that last one#like look I want to be besties so bad but I feel like we just have a boatload of ideological differences to work through#so I guess. what I'm trying to say is. here's to being insane together for the next few years. cheers!#(additional apology for the brutal honesty. I'm not good at white lies.)#to kitsoa: uh. sorry about. This. I don't even know if you were aware we had a rivalry (???) going on#Uh I wish I didn't stir up trouble in your house (bm fandom) but I'm stubborn. for better or for worse. sorry...#I am going to be careful to keep discussions respectful etc. etc. so as not to cultivate a toxic workplace or whatever. prommy.#(but you have to admit. this is kind of funny) <- guy addicted to doing things for the bit#yeah that's all. I can't do anything in a normal way but I hope you guys can understand somewhat.
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septembersghost · 3 months
Sometimes I think harry's explanation on fine line(having s*x and feeling sad) suits hs1 better simply because that's all the album is about. I always think about his 2015-16 and I can't imagine it being any other way. Like I think 2015 was his worst year . First taylor left him and showed up with her bf 3 months after leaving him. Then zayn left the band and he definitely hated(atleast resented zayn for that) . He was snarky everytime zayn was brought up. I also felt like the boys also isolated him and blamed him for z.In some bts there was ot3 standing close then there was.......harry. If louis blamed harry in 2019 for breaking band we can imagine how he behaved in 15. on top there was Robin's cancer. So he had a lot to deal with and he was only 21-22. I genuinely don't think I'll be able to go through all that unscathed. So he didn't have a silver lining to look for in that stage and he used sex as a defence mechanism. Taylor left him when he had a bit more less-messy life I don't think hs1 would be this sad and maybe would've been more positive. I felt like tay left him when he desperately needed someone in his life who truly understands him as a support system. While he wrote it as a heartbreak album there is a lot of underlying issues in it. While he asks 'take the pain away' he is not just talking about Taylor. He is talking about everything in his life. I think Olivia perfectly describes how much he needed her companionship at that moment of his life.
that explanation of fine line is so inaccurate, and i think he said that to try and conceal some of its heartbreak/darkness/vulnerability, but it does the record a bit of a disservice. it's much more than that. i do agree that description is more fitting for HS1, though he does tackle some of that in a deeper way there as well.
idk that i'd characterize his response to zayn as hating him, but he definitely was upset/annoyed and played that off with snarky humor. i'd imagine it also frustrated him that zayn expressed some dismissal of the band as a whole, since harry has always openly been very proud of their music and what they achieved and created, but naturally the two of them had disparate experiences and walked away with individual feelings. i haven't necessarily picked up on the other boys blaming him (although i have seen commentary about h being blamed for the "hiatus" and some of the resentment that went along with that, whether unfounded or not), but that could be due to seeing things in hindsight rather than as they happened. (niall and harry seem quite close to me in press for mitam!)
agree that was a very difficult and tumultuous time for him, and it's easy to forget he was still SO young. there's real grief tucked away on a lot of HS1, and masking that with sex is not at all uncommon. the sorrow and feeling of not knowing how to handle everything is probably clearest in ever since new york, especially since he's said that it's about that specific loss, but shades of it and that uncertainty and hurt show up in ftdt/mmith and even two ghosts as well.
keeping in mind she was also very unwell and in an escalatingly bad place at this time, it makes additional sense as to why they never found a safe moment to land or an ability to work that out. two young, adrift people just trying to hold on and make it through various terrible storms weren't going to be able to build a lasting foundation.
While he asks 'take the pain away' he is..talking about everything in his life. definitely. fame itself is such a monster to deal with and to survive, and to be thrown headfirst into that as a teenager and try to surface and cope with early adulthood and finding your sense of self and experiencing such formative events...the trade-off of success and money or whatever for sharing your creativity and talent being that intrusive, incessant fame is nightmarish to consider. the entire concept of scrutiny on that level fills me with dread tbh. and it's been challenging and hard from the advent of popular celebrity, we've seen its destruction on so many people, sadly. it's incredible anyone survives it with their minds and hearts intact at all.
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