#but despite those interesting self-contained episodes...

[secretmellowblog]

The ending of Dracula SUCKS because it’s both laughably anticlimactic and the peak of the novel’s racism. The biggest plot twist of Dracula is that Dracula is not a good book.

In the climax, because Dracula is asleep(tm) in his coffin, Stoker decides he has to throw in some mini bosses for the gang to fight instead— Dracula’s carriage drivers, a bunch of Romani people.

It’s one of the many areas where Stoker makes the racist subtext explicit text?

We get a “climax” where the heavily armed white heroes violently attack this caravan of sorta-armed Romani people and it’s framed as noble and heroic. (we’re supposed to Assume the driver are inherently guilty/okay to attack because they’re Romani, and other Romani people were helping Dracula in the castle chapters, and we all know Those People can’t be trusted!! etc etc) It's nearly “B*rth of a Nation” level racism.

Also not to roast Quincey— but I do love how this squad of white people armed with GUNS could barely defeat this ragtag little group of barely-armed carriage drivers, and even lost one of their members trying to do it. Stoker’s trying to frame them as noble underdogs but they come across as overpowered hyper-violent incompetent idiots who couldn’t manage a clean attack even when everything was on their side. XD

The entire novel is essentially a fantasy version of “B*rth of a Nation”-style tropes? It’s “the evil foreign race preying on our innocent white woman.” This is made extremely explicit in the scene when Mina compares her predicament to the predicaments of women in war zones who are killed by their husbands in order to prevent the foreign enemy from having sex with them. In the narrative, murdering your wife like this is framed as Good. Mina believes she should be killed like this before a Foreign Man Takes her in order to preserve her purity, and the narrative agrees with her. She is a “good English woman” because she believes she’s better dead than corrupted by a foreigner, and if she is corrupted by the foreigner her soul will be damned forever.

After all, the foreigners are evil! Either your wife is a Mina, a Good Wife who is assaulted by the poor evil foreigner, and whose purity can only be regained if you violently take revenge. … or your wife is a Lucie, a Misled Child who says she’s happy now but it’s because Her Mind isn’t Her Own Anymore and shes going to hell and she’s so poisoned by the foreigner that she needs to be put down like a rabid dog to protect the white English race.

I’ve seen people make comments about how bad it is that adaptations tend to make Dracula somewhat genuinely seductive/lovable to Mina compared to the book, which baffles me? It frustrates me that a lot of analysis is treating Dracula like a real person, rather than a character who was written in a specific way for a specific reason.

Yes it is bad that Dracula-the-person sexually assaults the other characters. But the reason Dracula-the-Character is written that way is because Stoker is writing him as a metaphor for Evil Foreign Races Preying on Our White Women. The reason book- Dracula is written so unsympathetically isn’t because Stoker is making a progressive point about sexual assault, but because he’s using Dracula as a deeply regressive symbol of the evil Foreigners having sex with white women who must be exterminated to preserve the purity of white English children.

Honestly I feel like the reason most adaptations make the Count genuinely alluring/seductive/sympathetic is because there’s really…not much to his character in the original novel, outside of being the archetypal Evil Foreigner who is Evil because Foreign, which is both offensive and also really shallow/uninteresting. Later adaptations are more interested with portraying Dracula as more tragic or sympathetic or at least more genuinely seductive because...well at least that's SOMETHING to add to this nothing character.

There’s a lot of potential in some of the concepts and aesthetics and plot points of Dracula, but most of the “deeper thematic elements” of the book are bigoted, shallow, or both.

It makes sense that adaptations have decided to attempt to give the characters depth, nuance, and interest that they didn’t have in the original novel? Or to take the aesthetics but flat-out reject all of Stoker's takes and argue with him about every single thematic element? and I am completely on board with vampire reimaginings that continuing to spit on Bram Stoker’s legacy. I hope people continue to make him roll in his grave. XD.

And again, I'm kinda surprised there were so many people during the Dracula Daily readalong acting as if the book portraying Dracula as purely evil is somehow more progressive than later adaptations portraying him as tragically sympathetic or seductive, when "questioning why the author chose to write Dracula as the monster" is kinda like "baby's first Dracula criticism." I mean that, in even in Hotel Transylvania (the recent kid's cartoon) part of the central plot is that Dracula's family is hunted down because bigoted people assume vampires are monstrous predators incapable of love. And it's not because Hotel Transylvania is a deep challenging movie, but because "let's question Why we've decided to invent this entire class of foreign predatory monsters it's okay to kill without remorse" is such a normal milquetoast uncontroversial mainstream critique of Dracula that you'll even find it in Adam Sandler children's movies. XD.

[commsroom]

Hello. It occurred to me recently that Hera is the only character of the main cast who is not named for an engineer/physicist/mathematician. Do u think this has any significance regarding her role on the team and her character, or not really?

(Also, the wiki says she's probably named for the Greek goddess Hera which has interesting connotations if it's true. There was also a NASA probe called Hera at some point I'm pretty sure, but I don't know which is the more likely namesake. I just enjoy the names in W359 because I am a physics student and it's fun to hear character names in all my classes.)

hi! i think the answer is kind of... yes and no? like, gabriel urbina has said his process of naming characters is first to choose a category to pick surnames from, to narrow down the options (so, in this case, famous scientists), and then to find given names that he thinks sound good with those surnames. so i don't think symbolism is the purpose, and i don't think it needs to be. but hera, obviously... doesn't have a last name. and so the way she was named (both in and out of universe) is different, and i think that does represent something.

first: hera is the mother program of the hephaestus. the hera of greek mythology is the mother of hephaestus and cast him out of the sky. the allusions are obviously intentional. (as are other mythology names in the show, but that's another topic.) second: a lot of real world things relating to space are named for mythology, and clearly cutter agrees that's how it should be done. but also: goddard's AIs share the same naming scheme with their spacecrafts. hera, rhea, eris, enlil, perseus, hyperion vs. hephaestus, hermes, tiamat, urania, valkyrie, sol. in one sense, this marks them as company property, people who are treated as equivalent to technology.

but, third: from a writing perspective, gabriel urbina has also said he only started getting a sense of who hera was when he started writing for michaela swee in the second episode; there's such a difference in how she's written just between those first two scripts. you can even see in the first recording script that her name was stylized HERA, as if it stood for something, like a much more standard AI character might have been named. which goes so far against what her name actually ended up representing that it retroactively becomes an in-universe microaggression.

and so, fourth: despite all of that, the real thing that makes hera's name stand apart is that it's a chosen name. it's offered to her, but not the way a name is given - it's a bribe, with the understanding it can be taken away from her. rachel says she can see what else is available if hera "has a problem with the etymology or any of the allusions," which is kind of interesting. but hera chooses to be hera. i don't think it's a stretch to say she has a deadname and a chosen name: that she has to introduce herself every time in a way that amounts to "i prefer to be called hera" and that her name is treated as optional and conditional, a reward for good behavior. if hera wanted to take a middle or last name, she would be choosing those, too.

i think ultimately names in wolf 359 are less about categorization and/or symbolism and more about identity. names are symbols that represent and contain the people who claim them. how people are referred to, when, and by whom - as well as how people refer to themselves by name as an act of self-determination, a reclamation of identity, or in defiance - is all central to the themes of the show. and, from that perspective, i think how hera is named (and what her name means to her, how she has had to construct and fight for parts of her identity that others are given as a default assumption) is significant, but i don't think it really sets her apart from the others when their names are treated in similar ways thematically.

[object-show-analysis]

It’s been a while but TPOT 10 was SO interesting I absolutely have to say Something about it. I would love to go through each team and talk individually about their nightmares but for starters there’s one that Really caught my eye

So for this most recent challenge Two puts one person from each team to sleep to have a nightmare that reflects a fear of theirs with the intention of bringing the teams closer together by having the other team mates save them from it. We’re not given a ton of information on the specifics of this fear from Two. At no point do they say that they’re making them face their Worst fear, but later contestants like Winner and Book come to refer to the subject of their dreams as their personal nightmare outside of a dream sense so we can assume that even if it’s not their worst fear, it is a pretty pressing concern.

These nightmares are Really interesting insights into the worries of some of the characters, and also the responses that their teammates had. It also gave us a lot of really great information that we didn’t previously have, like Winner’s backstory, which a lot of people have been waiting for

While I was excited to see all of the nightmares, nothing stood out to me quite like Barfbag’s. Which I think told us the most about her and her team, despite the lack of obvious attention that it got and I really want to talk about it

Barfbag’s nightmare

The dream opens with the top of Barfbag’s head huge and exposed to her teammates, with different substances in containers above her. Her teammates are confused by what it means, but the substances cause Pin to immediately jump into action, pouring a container of caffeine into her.

The caffeine immediately effects her, which is when Gaty connects the dots as to what the nightmare is about

This is the last time that the actual substance of her fears are acknowledged, as Pin suggests they “commit to the nightmare” and use the substances to wake her up. This is fascinating to me because it shows a clear disregard for Barfbag’s feelings and confirms that this is something she has reason to be afraid of

Barfbag has had to struggle a lot because she is made out of barf. Going so far back as to the first three episodes of BFB, in which she was continuously ridiculed and hurt by the people around her because of cruel assumptions they made about her being stupid because she’s full of vomit

And later in BFB when she’s filled with water for the first time, and she feels much better than she normally does, implying that being full of vomit does actually make her feel very sick

And in the second to most recent TPOT episode (as of now) TPOT 9, where she was turned into a zombie because of what other people put inside, causing a zombie outbreak

This is something she’s shown to have a lot of guilt over now, becoming immediately clear at the beginning of TPOT 10 where she’s hiding from the rest of her team due to fear that they will retaliate against her for the events of TPOT 9, even though she had no active influence in any of those events. Her body was forcibly changed without her knowledge, and she had no ability to stop it. And yet her fellow contestants like Black Hole actively blame her for it.

Barfbag’s existence as a Barf Bag clearly makes her very vulnerable. I’m really glad to see TPOT addressing this reality as something that she’s actively very scared of. And on top of that I think the lack of self awareness regarding this fear among her team mates is Fascinating.

Immediately upon realizing her fear, her teammates exploit it with no care to her feelings about it. And while it works for the challenge, it shows a very clear issue about the lack of respect that people have for barfbag.

I really like the direction that TPOT seems to be going in regards to barfbag and I hope to see this get elaborated on in the future!

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Idia & Rollo: A Tale of Two Brothers

HI I’M WRITING ANOTHER ANALYSIS BECAUSE I’M STILL GOING CRAZY OVER GLORIOUS MASQUERADE PART 5 🤡 *honks clown nose*

***Spoilers for chapter 6 of the main story and Glorious Masquerade!***

***CONTENT WARNING: extensive mentions of death and allusions to suicide and suicidal ideation.***

This analysis was inspired in part by this illustration; Idia and Rollo are both standing trial for their crimes. However, notice that while Rollo is frantically defending himself, Idia stands calm, almost accepting of his fate and awaiting judgment. Please keep this illustration in mind, as I believe it to be an apt visualization of both the similarities and the differences between the two.

On a surface level, there isn't that much that's the same about Idia and Rollo. They don't even "speak the same language", as Rollo expresses confusion at the slang Idia uses when referring to gargoyles as Malleus's "oshi". Idia is socially anxious, introverted, and nerdy, with hobbies and interests such as video games, idols, and manga/anime. He's intelligent, but he's also self-absorbed, often bragging about his own genius or making inventions just to make his own life easier (such as a tablet so he can attempt classes remotely). Idia also has a habit of insulting others for "not being on his level", or even talking them down or acting frightened when they exceed in areas he doesn't deem important, such as athletics. On the other hand, Rollo is far more astute and serious, setting high standards for himself and for others. Despite this, he does well with people at a superficial level and is well-liked by his peers. He is practical and sparing about how he uses his intelligence and magic, usually only limiting them to scenarios which they are necessary to utilize.

However, if there is one major, glaring similarity between Idia and Rollo, it is this: they both love and care for their younger brothers--and they both lost those beloved brothers in tragic accidents, which deeply affected their courses in life and their mindsets as they grew up. What's more, they both became emotionally closed off from others as a result. The difference here is how they coped with their losses and came out the other side.

Idia has been groomed from birth to be the perfect heir that will eventually succeed his father as director of S.T.Y.X. and the Shroud family itself, which oversees the Underworld. Because of this, he has usually been contained to his studies and scarcely saw the outside world. His younger brother, Ortho, who was not burdened by these responsibilities and loved playing with Idia, one day convinced his older brother to sneak out with him to play in the world above. When Idia disarms the security systems to aid in their escape, a Phantom escapes and tragically ends Ortho's life. This incident traumatized Idia to the point where he stayed in his room for roughly 2 years, barely asking anything of others but spare parts. During this time, he invented a robotic version of Ortho to act as his brother, aware that the A.I. would never be able to replace the original that was lost. When the events of episode 6 occur, Idia is able to finally acknowledge Robo!Ortho as his own person, and comes to terms with the original's passing. He decides that he must live on, and gradually opens up to his classmates once he has this revelation.

Rollo's younger brother unlocked his magic before Rollo did. (I will call the unnamed younger brother "Brollo" for the sake of simplicity.) From a brief flashback at the end of Glorious Masquerade, we know that Brollo truly loved magic and using it because it made Rollo happy when he did. Unfortunately, this magic (presumably a fire spell) got out of hand one day and ended up consuming Brollo. Since then, Rollo cursed magic, blaming other magicians for not intervening to rescue his sibling. Then, in a horrible twist of fate, Rollo discovered his own magic after Brollo's passing. Not only does Rollo turn out to also be a mage--one of the people he detests for not helping his brother--but his own unique magic, something that defines him as an individual, is driven by negative emotions and engulfs him in flames... More fire, just like the fire that took Brollo from him. Rollo not only experienced that trauma, but let that trauma fuel him and become an integral part of his identity. This would later convince him that magic is a "sin" that tempts people and decide that it would be better off if Twisted Wonderland were robbed of all of its magic. He cites his motivation for taking such an extreme stance as "saving" others. Even when he is defeated and apprehended by the NRC boys, Rollo holds fast to his beliefs and refuses to admit to any wrongdoing.

Notice where their paths diverged.

Idia was in a situation where he was more directly responsible for Ortho's death. If he hadn't meddled with the security, the Phantom would have never escaped and Ortho would not have been gravely injured. Because of this, Idia accepts the burden of responsibility and feels immensely guilty due to his involvement. This is a good deal of the reason why he shut himself away from the world following Ortho's death and why he has issues with socializing for so much of the main story; Idia feels ashamed for what he has done, so he turns to his own interests as a way to cope with it. Without Ortho there to encourage him to reach out to others and attempt at friendships, Idia falls victim to his own hopelessness. Why bother making friends? Why bother reaching out? His future has already been decided for him, and the one time he tried to avoid his fate, someone he loved was lost to him forever. It's pointless and futile to try, and he says as much in episode 6. All of the test subjects will have their memories of their time gaming wiped--so why be friendly with them and enjoy himself? It's all meaningless. Idia's guilt turned inward, and whether he realizes it or not, everything he does is an unconscious reflection of that guilt, right down to the defeatist attitude he adopts following the initial trauma.

Rollo is the opposite of Idia; his guilt turned outward, and he never came to accept it, so it ended up poisoning him and his perception of the world. This explains why Rollo took extreme actions against all of Twisted Wonderland, whereas Idia was contained (again, internalized guilt) and only Overblotted when tempted by the promise of reuniting with his dead brother.

To go into more detail with Rollo... Sebek mentions in Glorious Masquerade that he cannot understand his motives; if Rollo hates magicians and magic, and Rollo IS a magician, then does the logic not follow that Rollo, by proxy, must hate himself? Idia echoes this sentiment when confronting him, accusing Rollo of actually hating himself the most for being powerless to help Brollo. That's... most likely true, given the circumstances, but notice that it is Sebek and Idia that have to say this for the audience to understand, rather than Rollo monologuing about it. Why? Because Rollo is in denial about his internal conflict. Time and time again in the event we hear him talk about how OTHER people are disgusting, how OTHER people misuse their magic... and when he talks about his own magic, he refers to it as "a curse", "a burden". It's clear he views magic, including his own, as a very negative thing. Rollo's wording is especially telling when he has been beaten, weeping over the loss of his flowers, his salvation, even though he has been claiming all this time his actions were for the good of OTHER people, not himself.

Unlike Idia, Rollo was not the direct cause of Brollo's passing. However, Rollo must feel responsible in some part (whether consciously knowing or not), as it is implied Rollo indirectly encouraged his brother's use of magic (because seeing Brollo's magic made him happy). He must have also felt an immense guilt for not unlocking his magic sooner, for not being capable of stopping the magic from raging out of control. But Rollo, being powerless at the time, did not direct his anger at himself, but at the people around them. Blaming others is just an easier solution than accepting blame yourself, and that was the route Rollo went down. However, in refusing to acknowledge the part he played himself, it caused more hatred to fester. Rollo could never be happy, could never be satisfied, because everywhere he looked, he saw sin--but not within. Like Idia, he emotionally closes himself off from others, not speaking about his experiences to others and instead writing them down in journal entries... but Rollo takes it so, SO much further, spending years and years plotting his "salvation" to come into fruition. He tries to justify this to himself and to others as a means of saving them, but as Idia rightfully points out, that's just an excuse to vent, an excuse to save himself and to be liberated of the burden called magic. It sometimes slips out in the way Rollo speaks about his goals: how people will not have to suffer from painful memories “again” (ie Rollo won’t have to relive the past), how they will be freed from “dark and cold despair” (he’s speaking about it in such detail, like he is speaking from experience).

I actually don’t think what Idia said is completely true; yes, Rollo wants to save himself. However, if that were the case, why wouldn’t Rollo just have the crimson flowers relive himself of magic and no one else’s? It’s because Rollo honest-to-God believes the world would be better off without magic, even if that means he has to force his will upon others. He wants to not only save himself, but prevent anyone from ending up like Brollo. Again, I believe there is a part of him that subconsciously feels guilt for not being able to help his brother, so now Rollo is overcompensating/overcorrecting by ensuring that he “helps” everyone. His extreme wording plays into this; by using harsh terms like “villains” and constantly citing morality, it sounds as though he is trying to convince even himself that what he is doing is correct. He is someone that inherently values morality and justice, but his definitions have become twisted thanks to his grief and guilt. Rollo so reverently defends himself and his worldview because that is the only way he can rationalize tragedy and make sense of the trauma he has experienced.

Perhaps the saddest part of Rollo's story is that, unlike Idia, he doesn't change his mindset (or at least he doesn't want to). By the end of episode 6, Idia has started to come out of his shell to hang out with his classmates and play video games with them, and he has accepted Ortho as an individual. Rollo still believes he is in the right and refuses to talk to the people who offer to lend an ear (the gargoyles) to his woes. He still claims he will never see eye-to-eye with magicians and swears he will continue working against their interests. What’s important is that he is put in a situation where he is forced to face the inner demons that torment him, the guilt that he has yet to address in full, thanks to the NRC boys putting his self-righteousness on the spot. Rollo is being punished, but also given a chance, to be like Idia--to grow from the past, rather than let it continue to consume him.

It was so genius how they implemented Idia in Glorious Masquerade; it can be said that Malleus is Rollo’s foil (in that Malleus represents all the frivolous use of magic that Rollo detests), but in a way, Idia is also a foil to Rollo due to their similar backstories. I love that for the first half of the event, Idia was being his usual self, complaining about being away from his room and from Ortho, making jabs at his classmates, trying to minimize socialization, and occasionally geeking out. Even when the crimson flowers make themselves known, Idia is anything but enthusiastic to assist. He would rather run away from the issue, or just throw in the towel and Game Over than put up a fight. However, there is a dramatic shift in his behavior as soon as he, Malleus, and Azul find Rollo’s diary and learn of his motives from it.

Idia goes all quiet and becomes serious about stopping Rollo. Funnily enough, Azul initially interprets this behavior as hesitation, or Idia showing sympathy for their adversary. On the contrary, Idia knows more than ever that Rollo has to be stopped. Why is Idia suddenly so motivated when he wasn’t before (in spite of knowing the full weight of this threat)??? Because he realizes, whether he likes it or not, that Rollo is just like him. And while Idia may not care for Rollo, the fact is that Idia understands and empathizes with his experiences--but at the same time, he disapproves of the way Rollo is going about coping with it. As Idia puts it, Rollo has a right to be angry and to ruin his own life, but he has no right to drag other people down with his misery. Idia is drawing from his own experiences, how he holed up in his room and hid away from the world with his sorrow and rejected lucrative offers instead of causing trouble for others. Later on (in episode 6), Idia would be an inconvenience because of his Overblot, so he is speaking on those experiences as well. Idia has been on both sides of this, so he understands what Rollo is going through, AND what the worst possible outcome for it could be if he’s left unchecked.

Worse still is Idia knowing that Rollo has also lost a younger sibling--but instead of trying to move on from it, Rollo has fixated and is weaponizing his tragic past to justify his evil actions. As Idia demands of Rollo, is this really what Brollo would have wanted? Or is Rollo just lying and superimposing his own views over Brollo’s wishes, conflating them to make something that fits his narrow-minded and hateful view of the world? Idia is in a similar situation as Rollo, but he has never tried to use Ortho’s passing to excuse or to justify his actions. Even when he Overblotted, sure, Idia was rampaging, but his concern was always Ortho first and foremost. When he gets shot with lightning, Idia loses his cool over Ortho being hurt and rushes to check on the damage he has taken. At his lowest point, Idia still cares for his brother above all else, so it makes sense that he’s disgusted by Rollo essentially using his dead brother and his “wish” to justify doing awful things to innocent people.

This is why Idia says he cannot forgive Rollo: because Rollo is a dark mirror of himself--a version of Idia if his pain had been directed outward instead of inward. Someone who can’t let go of the past, and is ruled by it, spreading their suffering onto others instead of learning to live with themselves and their sins. He’s horrified that Rollo would use his brother’s passing to justify bringing a similar sadness upon do many others by robbing them of their magic. It’s such a perversion of grieving over a loved one, Idia cannot stand it. Both boys demonstrate to us unhealthy methods of coping with their circumstances (turning the guilt and hatred inward vs turning the guilt and hatred outward), but Idia was the one to learn and grow from his sorrows whereas Rollo continues to wallow in them.

It is Idia and Idia alone who understands everything Rollo is going through. All that pain and regret, wishing so desperately that life had been fairer to them and to their poor brothers... He even understands wanting to “destroy the whole world because it hurts knowing that [his brother] will never come back to him”. These are feelings Idia has had himself, but the difference between him and Rollo is that Idia can see those feelings for what they are: misguided, misplaced. He knows that even if life has been unfair, it doesn’t justify making others pay the price for it. He knows that making others suffer won’t get him a happy ending, and that it won’t bring Ortho back. He knows that doing all of this won’t make Rollo happy, it won’t really free him, because the past and the guilt associated with it will always remain no matter what changes in present day.

Rollo will only be free once he reaches acceptance in the cycle of grieving, if he lets go of what happened before and decides to live for himself without shame, like Idia has. Instead, Rollo has chosen to lash out at the world, using his brother’s passing as a fuel for his self-righteous fire. It’s the only way he can live with himself, because were he to accept his own guilt, his ego would break. The magic unique to him, Dark Fire, all of the inner turmoil he has held up to this point... that makes up who Rollo is. And if he doesn’t have that... then what’s the point of it all? He’s not ready to come to terms with that possibility, so he shunts it out for the easier solution, which is being rid of that magic altogether. In that mindless pursuit of his goals, he has lost sight of what he is truly after, his “salvation”: being at peace with Brollo’s death, and finding a reason to live on in his stead.

As Idia tells him, it’s alright to feel guilt, and there is nothing wrong with using the love we have for those who have passed as motivation to keep living. Idia was someone who was fully prepared to “join” Ortho in the afterlife (his choice of word, not mine), and Ortho had to convince him to stay. There’s too many games Idia hasn’t played yet, manga he hasn’t read, shows he hasn’t watched. There’s so much of life he has yet to experience, and he shouldn’t throw that away. Ortho tells Idia to return to his friends, to live--and with that, they said their final good-byes, and Idia is finally able to move on. Now he is passing along that knowledge, that plea to live, to Rollo, even if he detests Rollo’s character, his intentions, and the motivation behind it. For as much as Idia hates people, he would hate to see someone go down the dark path he had been destined for, had it not been for Ortho’s intervention, even more. I imagine it must be a weird feeling Idia is experiencing, some mix of disgust, displeasure, pity, and the feeling of “bro, I know where you’ve been and I know you can be better than this”.

Though Idia is definitely in the right in this situation, I want to call attention to the fact that Idia isn’t exactly intervening for purely selfless reasons; he was ready to fuck off and leave the City of Flowers to (metaphorically) burn and was putting forth no effort to save it until he caught that thread that connected him and Rollo. Even then, Idia’s not concerned with saving Rollo’s soul or whatever, he just wants to make it known Rollo is a bad person and should feel bad for what he has done because they are similar. If Rollo had had some other tragic backstory that didn’t involve a dead brother, I doubt Idia would have been reinvigorated to stop him as he was in canon. They have a kinship through their brothers whether they like it or not (and trust me, neither of them like it 😅), and that is ultimately what drives Idia to intervene.

Idia’s love for his brother not only allows him to connect with and empathize with others against his better judgment, but that love also supersedes Rollo’s hatred and guilt. He is able to reach that final stage of acceptance, while Rollo is still angry and bargaining for a way out.

Anyway, that was my very VERY long-winded way of saying I think Rollo should be forced to hang out with the Shroud brothers in fact, I’m working on a fic about this 🤡 because he could honestly stand to learn a lot from their character arcs…

[alicepao13]

Hudson and Rex S06E08

Another good episode. As a disclaimer, I’ve had a pretty specific idea of how this episode should be like, so I went in a little bit negatively predisposed. Also, these aren't in order. Sorry.

I remember the dead guy. He was in the episode with Meghan Ory’s character, the first one of the two.

“He’s dead. Are you happy?” Calm down, ma’am, you’re giving him reasons to be stupidly self-sacrificing.

Joe: Charlie no. Charlie: Charlie yes.

“We’re going to transfer all the inmates I’ve arrested out of the prison.” You’ll… what… now?

“I’ll find your killer and get rid of your drug problem”. And also fix your plumbing (oh, wait), clean your laundry, and create a gourmet menu for your prison.

Okay they did find a good reason for Rex to be in there. I'd still have preferred Charlie alone in prison and Rex investigating on the outside.

I hate this hairstyle. There, I said it. However, it’s more fitting to prison inmate Chuck than what Charlie has had all season so far as a cop. Which has actually been tolerable as an image despite not fitting the character, and I refuse to spend more time on that because I keep seeing it being commented on and when this keeps happening, I feel bad.

I think I know the actor who plays Charlie’s prison bunkmate but I can’t place him.

Charlie displayed a lot of badassery in this episode. Also, I think John Reardon did some good work acting wise in this one.

Charlie said “I love you”, “babe”, “you’re the hottest woman I’ve ever seen”, “sweetheart” to Sarah, and all of that while he was undercover in prison and through the phone??? Who do I talk to about this? How was there not a better moment for this? It’s like they wanted to throw these words out in the open in the least romantic way possible.

The way I hate “babe” and yet every single couple I ship is using it… They’re lucky I’ve been desensitized since Castle.

And Sarah’s facepalm on the other end lmao. It’s obviously not the first “I love you” at least. I wonder what she calls him.

I liked the instrumental music for the prison scenes. It was very much on point.

Damn, they put him in solitary for 24 hours. This couldn’t have awakened any claustrophobic feelings from a) the freezer b) the cave collapse, c) the coffin he was buried in d) the containers that almost turned him into a pancake? Come on, guys. Also, do they or do they not have solitary in Canada? It can’t keep changing according to the season.

Sarah worried because her idiot almost died in prison. Charlie finally (I might pass out) having a moment of weakness? Saying that he misses Sarah and Rex? I did not think I'd live to see it.

Jesse saying that they'd pull out Charlie if it gets too dangerous… This is way too optimistic. Realistically, he would have gotten shivved before anyone could do anything about it.

Rex totally wanted to maul that guy for injuring Charlie. Once again, why can’t we see him baring his teeth? German shepherds have scary canine teeth, they’re not just cute and cuddly.

I liked Joe as a guard. And interrogating the suspect, getting a bit handsy with him.

Detective Jesse Mills. Doing interrogations. Detecting lol

Bringing back a bad guy from S1? Interesting choice. I barely remember the guy. And wasn’t that episode like a collective fandom hallucination or something? When Charlie mentioned the guy had killed a kid I was like, oh so we haven’t seen that case. That’s how much I don’t remember that episode.

“Lots can change in that time” Charlie, you’re squeaky clean, bud. You tried to be “bad” in S4 and lasted for like four minutes.

Also, in every show I’ve seen, once a cop enters prison, no one cares whether he’s a disgraced cop. They’d want to kill him either way.

Either they shot the scenes of the prison yard in one day or it was raining all the days they had those scenes. Very gloomy weather, it added a bit of extra grime to the episode.

“Do you want to read the letters with me?” Absolutely not. He wants to go back home, hug his girlfriend and have a hot shower to wash the prison off of him. Maybe this all happened off screen already. I don’t care. I didn’t see it so it didn’t happen.

I liked the episode. It didn’t go my way at all but it’s understandable. I wanted some more danger towards the end, as people were catching on to the fact that Charlie was a cop. Also, Charlie had way too much communication with the team, I know it doesn’t make sense for me to not want that, but it also doesn’t make sense for an undercover cop in prison to be able to be in touch with almost every member of his team throughout the episode. Did I want a Charlie and Sarah scene in the end? Absolutely.

Promo: That is a pretty lame promo for what should be a character centric episode. It looks like a complete filler, devoid of character moements. I hope it will be a character centric episode and not a filler NCIS episode (because Navy). Hopefully it’s just lousy promo editing and not a lousy episode. Interesting choice for Charlie’s dad. And I know people might hate me for this, but I’ll say it anyway. I did prompt a few storylines to an AI model about Charlie facing off his dad, and the AI would always, always have his dad call him Charles. Fucking hell.

There’s no way Sarah is not meeting Charlie’s dad, right? I need to be reassured.

Dude seems so dismissive of Rex that I hope Rex bites him. He should be allowed to bite family members who are being assholes.

[thatgirl4815]

I found it hilarious that Jojo has been loosely touting a Taylor Swift parallel when it comes to Mew and his relationship with Top (and it's obviously a surface level joke) but if you actually listen to the songs in Reputation and Lover...the storytelling is 100% Ray. It's finding love at your lowest. The self-loathing, seeking love as salvation, blowing up good things in fear and realizing too late, secret rendezvous where neither knows what game is really being played, finding their purported last love in a world that hated them--who is all of these things but Ray?

The Taylor Swift thing is mostly just an entertaining observation for me but the thing that the thematic elements and imagery in her music prompted me to re-think was that famous final scene in episode 10. While you watch Ray's eyes morph the therapist into Sand, there's a stoic golden glow to imaginary-Sand as he sits in the therapist's chair like a throne, as though you've walked into a temple dedicated to him--a temple Ray has dedicated to him. It's almost like Ray has always seen Sand as a god.

Throughout the confession that follows, Imaginary-Sand is mostly emotionless, minimally responding to Ray as Ray maintains an incredibly reverent face despite breaking down in tears. The apology contains so many reused phrases as though Ray were reciting some sort of prayer, and even while sitting in the sofa, the camera kind of points up at Sand rather than at the even level he is really at when you see things through Ray's vision. Finally, when Ray gets on his knees and imaginary-Sand appears to console him, it's not clearly romantic or friendly. There's a godliness to it. The point is, the whole thing just felt akin to a religious awakening to me. And then I realized I felt those same feelings emanating from Ray in the caravan, in the music room, at the party, drunk in the parking lot, on the rooftop, in the kitchen(s), when they wake up together for the first time...

I don't know what this means for the relationship Ray and Sand have and whether it will ever really be healthy, but it certainly made for poetic cinema. Has Sand eclipsed the unattainable Mew? Has he become the unconditional heavenly father (I say, mostly in jest)? Another point of consideration is that Ray always seems to be wearing a cross. Just saying.

Anyway this theory is pretty out there, and in any case, it's less about proving the idea and more about seeing what others thought about it as a vantage point of discussion, and whether it colors how Ray, and Sand and Ray as a couple, are interpreted.

Those are such great observations! Taylor Swift's lyricism is so fascinating and complex to me, and I agree that there are so many lyrics that could easily apply to Ray.

In my opinion, Ray is easily the most complicated character in this show. It's no wonder they chose Khaotung to play him because there are so many feelings he has to work through, especially in these emotionally-charged scenes. When the camera pans behind Ray's head and Sand appears, Ray slowly looks up at him with tears in his eyes. That first moment when he meets eyes with him and says his name just speaks to how agonizing this confrontation is for Ray, because he's confronting himself through the image of Sand. This entire scene is the acceptance of just how much Sand means to Ray, just how badly Ray has screwed up yet again, and just how much gratitude Ray has for Sand in his heart.

Your analysis of the religious aspects of the scene is so compelling. The golden coloring behind Sand echoes a lot of what @thewayuarent has analyzed about the contrast between cold blue lighting and warm gold lighting for both Sand and Ray. Also interesting your point about how the camera is slightly angled up at Sand rather than at eye-level. Originally I wouldn't think too much of this but contrasted with the shots of Ray at eye-level, it seems super intentional.

"Religious awakening" is a great way of describing it. There's been a lot of discussion about Ray putting Mew on a pedestal and idolizing him, but I think we see a similar kind of reverence being displayed here, but with some notable differences. With Mew, it felt like he was always something distant, something Ray wanted but could never quite touch. But in this scene, we have Ray facing Sand, on his knees for him, embracing him. Despite the whole thing being imaginary, it feels very real in a way I struggle to articulate. There's a worshipping aspect, I agree, but there's also a realism in the way Ray is very honestly considering his emotions. With Mew, I'd argue those feelings of idolization were allowed to grow out of Ray's fantasy, but with Sand, it isn't something Ray has blown up in his head. My main point being--I don't think it's necessarily suggesting an unhealthy power imbalance with Ray as the worshipper and Sand as the godly figure (in the way we saw with Ray and Mew), though I think this scene does an excellent job of emphasizing how Ray views Sand as someone honestly and purely good.

Another reason I think Khao delivers this so well is that he speaks through his eyes in every one of those scenes you mention. He sees all of Sand's goodness, but I don't think he's directly confronted his own behavior until this moment. Yes, he's apologized and yes he's realized that he was in the wrong. But here he is laying it all out on the table. Following the topic of religion, it almost feels like a confession. In Ray's imagination, this is a space where he can expel all of his feelings to the image of Sand. It's almost better that Sand can't react here (seeing as he's imaginary) because it brings the focus back to Ray. Even though Ray is crying to Sand and about Sand, it's all a reflection of his own flaws in their relationship and otherwise.

[shadowycupcakewitch]

"Euphoria"

I've decided to try a therapeutic series that is purely self-indulgent, but might resonate with some other peeps. This series is going to be very emotional and highly descriptive. Whilst containing a fair amount of smut, relates more to concepts of intimacy and self-loathing so please proceed at your own risk.

Triggers: 18+, smut, female reader, oral s@x, difficulty w/ orgasm, self-hatred, pic is a mood board only, attempt at Spanglish...

Accepting gentle feedback and requests :) Excited to take this series in an interesting, healing direction...

It had been about a month. You looked in the mirror, pouting as you ran your hands over your body. Failure. A month of sexy-time operations and you felt dry as a bone. Your friends had recommended all the latest literature, toys, lube and more, but the problem was you. You were always the problem. Not your dreamy boyfriend. If anything, he was the bright spot in a dark horizon of frustration. Endlessly patient, supportive and emotionally available, you were starting to wonder what you did to deserve him. Almost on cue, you caught a puppy dog expression nosing his way into the slightly ajar bathroom door.

“Occupied?” he mused, lightly drifting his fingers over your waist and eventually draping himself around you in a bear hug. You continued pouting at your reflection in the mirror. “That’s a lot of heavy sighing for a Saturday” he pondered, setting his chin on your shoulder teasingly.

He broke into a bit of a smirk, poking your rib, “Do we get to continue our weekend explorations? I know what an academic you are, and I’ve been doing some research…”

Your eyebrows raised quizzically as you twisted mid-hug to rest your hands on his chest. “Is there any way to make that NOT sound like porn?” you joked, resting your forehead on his sternum. You heard a soft rumble, breathing in a scent of cologne, nicotine and mint.  “I mean, that’s not the WORST idea I ever heard, but what do I need with porn when I’ve got such a beautiful guinea pig here in my bathroom?” You smiled into his chest, starting to sway together absentmindedly. 

“I know I’m not supposed to be apologizing…” you began, but didn’t get very far, before he gently lifted your chin up, coaxing your eyes to meet his. He ghosted his lips over yours and moved lower to nibbling your chin and dragging his lips over your neck. “Unless you’re sorry for making me miss the new episode of Euphoria, I’m not sure what we’re doing here…” he mumbled into your clavicle.

You gently pulled his face up with both hands to get a better look. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately, it doesn’t have anything to do with you.” He huffed in comical frustration, widening his stance so he could get nose to nose with you, “Nina impaciente…good things cum to those who wait…” You forced a tight lipped smile. 

“Honestly, I know I’ve said so before, but it’s not a race. It’s not like washing the dishes, hermosa.” You snorted into your hands, covering your face with embarrassment.  “Maybe if we took a little break, and just enjoyed ourselves? Movie? Cuddle?” he started swaying again, lulling you into submission. You brightened slightly at the suggestion. His eyes twinkled with recognition, “Snacks?” Sold.

Ten minutes later, you were piled up on the coach, in your pjs, popcorn in hand. “Thank God! I’ve been thinking about Euphoria for like a WEEK!” Pedro teased, as you tossed a handful of popcorn at his face. Somehow this man was forcing you to relax despite your own insecurities. How did he do that? You settled your feet on his lap, as he immediately began a gentle massage. “Let the suffering BEGIN!” he noted, grabbing the remote, eyes alight with interest. Your mouth began to twist in amusement at his golden retriever-like optimism. The lights of the tv flashed across his attentive expression. Such a nice profile, and his shoulders were so ridiculously broad. You felt a light throbbing as your womanhood tried to communicate through Morris Code. Shifting under the blankets, you pinched your legs together in protestation. 

“You okay over there?” a voice interrupted, now moving his thumb up your leg and resting on your thigh. “Just getting comfortable” you squeaked, confused at your body’s unpredictable reactions. The two of you had all but conjured spells and incantations to reach your now elusive climax, but that didn’t seem to dim your desire or confusion. “Why does she insist on TORTURING herself???” Pedro now exclaimed, throwing a gummy bear at the tv.

Why did she? Why does she? Your lower lip began to tremble involuntarily. It’s my body. Why can’t I force it into submission? Why is it so hard to surrender? A big fat, salty tear dripped down your face, now buttering your popcorn.

“Hey, hey…what’s happening over there? The episode hasn’t even started yet…” Pedro’s eyebrows wrinkled in concern as he reached over to catch the newly falling cascade. It was all too much, as your face distorted in pain, amid squeaks and sniffles. Cupping your face with both hands he pleaded quietly, “Please let me help, hermosa…” grabbing your waist and pulling your hiccuping body close to his. “Can we try things my way, please?” His weight was comfortingly boxing you in and anchoring you down. “I know you want to be a ‘wham bam thank you ma’am' kind of gal, but some of us need a little more coaxing…” he joked as you dissolved into a fit of giggles.

“I just don’t know what’s wrong with me” you acquiesced. 

“There’s nothing wrong with you. What we’re looking for is a different kind of ‘Euphoria’” he chided. Then, honest to God, the man booped you on the nose with his. Reaching over for the remote he silenced the tv, and interlacing his hand in yours, he locked eyes with you, slowly drawing you into the bedroom. “It’s time to take our time”.

This euphoric evening was eventually termed, “The Great Awakening” but it didn’t start out that way. As he seductively removed your oversized sweater you stood slightly shivering, awkwardly covering your breasts.

“Your audience is requesting more VIP access” he teased, dragging his fingers over your collarbone and down your sternum. Rolling your eyes comically you helped pull his white t-shirt up and over his head, revealing his smooth, honeyed skin. Moving his hands lower he pulled at your sweat pants to reveal a red lace thong you had desperately purchased at Victoria’s Secret. His mouth went slack in surprise. “What do we have here?” he rasped, cupping the orbs of your ass and bringing your hips dangerously close to his steadily hardening self.

“Clothes make the woman?” you sniffled, sighing heavily into his chest and resuming your characteristic couple’s sway.

“This time, a LACK of clothes may make the woman…” he joked, wrapping his arm around your waist and taking your hand in his. You felt yourself melt into his body as you swayed in a slow dance at the foot of the bed. Reaching down, you attempted to finger his boxer shorts, but he deftly maneuvered out of the way.

“No hermosa, we’re doing you this evening…all evening.” he whispered, now inches from your ear. Shuddering in his embrace, you tried to slow your breathing, closing your eyes. 

“That’s it…No more racing to the finish line, let the pleasuring begin…” he growled, setting you down on the bed and stroking one finger from the top of your forehead to the soft flesh of your inner thigh, where he started lightly kneading in circles. A shaky breath brought another shudder to your body as he began kissing your knees, thighs, hips and stomach. Drawing your hands above your head, he gently pinned you to the mattress, moving his knee just below your crotch. “I’m going to kiss you now, for an impossibly long time, so get a big breath…” he smiled, and before you could chuckle, he did just that. Tongue. Teeth. Lips. Warmth. Honeyed sweetness and moaning breaths. It was the exposition to a beautiful poem, tumbling verse upon verse. Interlocking lips, stuttering sighs, quick intake of air and hands, hands, hands. Hands everywhere, dripping down your side, feather light touch to your face. Palming your stomach and thumbing your belly button.

Your entire body bucked underneath him as you felt pools of desire gravitate downward. You gasped into his mouth as he massaged your breasts, pinching both nipples in a firm tease. He started licking into your mouth, coaxing moan after moan as you began to lose yourself in the rhythm. White noise. White hot. Searing white heat, as your mind went blank and your body writhed in ecstasy. You mewled like a child as his hands and mouth intentionally moved south, nibbling at your tits and sucking a quick trail from your sternum to your navel. 

Heavy lidded eyes flew open in confused distress as you propped yourself up on your forearms, “Wait, I’m not ready down there! She’s not…uh….trim…” you sputtered, trying to form a coherent sentence. It was nearly comical catching him with tongue poised and eyes wide as saucers. Quickly catching his breath he teased, “The best part of a treasure hunt is when sex marks the spot…”. Eyeing him with incredulity you were about to offer a quick retort until he licked a long stripe from the base of your fourchette all the way up to your clit…and you were gone. 

@talaok @undercoverpena @pedrorascal @bluebeary-jay @lokischocolatefountain @cavillscurls @javiscigarette @pedrostories @punkshort

[demonicintegrity]

Got around to watching the new Helluva Boss and I’m pleasantly surprised at the turn around. Season two has had a wild flux in writing quality imo but I think this episode is arguably one of the strongest ones yet (outta both seasons.)

It also seems to be the longest episode so far, surprising considering it’s not a finale, but they make good use of the time.

Honestly a lot of the episode reminds me of how season one was set up. With a center clearly around Blitzø but still checking up on Stolas. And it’s very episodic and self contained again, which is great because that appears to be the crew’s strong spot.

Speaking of which, this is the first we’ve seen of Stolas since s2e4. I’m surprised it took until e6 of this season to circle back to him, but at least we’re not ignoring him. I personally would’ve at least teased how Stolas was doing after such a big blow, especially considering how the s2 is set up to be extremely focused on him and Blitzø’s relationship, but this works well too.

It works because we’re getting a little insight on Stolas’ frame of mind without causing pacing issues. He’s clearly recovered but focused on getting Blitzø out of his life again. He’s trying to distance himself from Blitzø still. Likely still in that “this was never going to work he doesn’t deserve to be tied to me” type mindset after the season opening.

But we see him briefly really appreciate what Ozzie and Fizz have. He seems genuinely happy for them, and likely is because Stolas has always been a hopeless romantic and a decent person despite things.

Speaking of Fizz, delightfully surprised out how his character is. I didn’t go in with anything specific in mind for him besides knowing he genuinely loved Ozzie but we have a really rounded out character with depth in a very short amount of time. I genuinely like his character.

(And someone’s made a separate post on this, but how Fizzy’s disability is treated is both done well and a bit of fresh air from the usual rep we see. He never denies that being disabled pained him greatly, but the tragedy in his past isn’t being disabled but being betrayed and heartbroken. Nor is he helpless because of it or overpowered because of his prosthetics. It’s not explicitly ignored I think the crew handled this really really well.)

But along with his character, my biggest interest is in how Fizz is now set up to be a foil to Blitzo. Like it's pretty obvs what he and Ozzie has is meant to parallel what Stolas/Blitzo could or even want to have. (Which in turn could mean Stolas/Blitzo is the kinda reputation Ozzie/Blitzo were trying so hard to avoid. A weird power dynamic and piss poor communication on top of the general perception those two have from outsiders.) They're in very similar boats but how each character addresses it that makes the circumstances so different.

And I think we have something really interesting being set up between Fizz and Blitzo. Both of them got enough closure for Fizz to genuinely want to let go some of the grudge. And I think theyre are some options on where to go with them, cuz I doubt this is the end of Fizz we're seeing.

I could see Fizz getting bored one day and reaching out in curiosity to see whats become of Blitz. Maybe the two can piece together the more correct timeline of events of the old circus since the fire. I can also see a potential plotline of Fizz getting I.M.P to be his bodyguards if he has to go out again for this or that reason.

I would also love more Ozzie and Stolas interacting. It would be good for Stolas to have Literally Just A Singular Friend. Cuz he doesnt seem to have any, and Ozzie doesn't seem to have anything personal against Stolas. He could probably be a good rational neutral voice for Stolas to bounce off of. He also just needs a friend if he ever wants a hope of his mental health improving. He seems to be trying to improve himself, but thats also the kinda thing you need a support system for.

Overall, I like this episode. The pacing and story itself was contained nicely and was a good watch. The humor stuck. And we have great leads to pick back up on later.

[lightninginapuddle]

Recently, I've been thinking about how OFMD has similarities to sitcoms. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone use the word sitcom to describe this show really, but I feel they borrow some elements of it without fully leaning into it. If we look at the show through a sitcom lens there are some interesting things we can see. Possibly?

A sitcom usually functions with the same characters who always have specific traits, and those characters go through short journeys during an episode, usually learning a lesson, before they go back to the status quo at the end of the episode. In a sitcom, characters aren’t allowed to grow. It's basically its number one rule.

Some of the signs of sitcoms in OFMD can be seen in the symbolism within most of the characters’ outfits. Apart from Stede, they very rarely change their outfits when they are on the ship, no matter the episode, and only wear something else when they leave the Revenge (i.e when they go on a journey).

The threat of the British lingers all season, but episodically the characters go on self-contained journeys that will progress relationships but won’t really change them or the status quo (whether the one we get used to at first, or the one from pirates outside of the Revenge). We see character development but not necessarily character growth.

For example, Jim in episode 4 is under a lot of scrutiny from the other crewmember who don't know how to view them anymore. They get asked questions after questions until they snap and tell them to "keep calling them Jim because nothing changed". In a way, even if the others took most of the episode to understand them, Jim is still Jim, and like Jim, the status quo hasn't changed. They were Jim before, and they're still Jim now. It's really fascinating to me how using sitcoms structures worked in tandem with Jim in this episode.

One character in particular acts as a sort of enforcer (or symbol) of the sitcom status quo: Izzy.

Izzy tries to manage everyone around him, his own boss and the rest of the crew. He sees Ed’s recent transformation (now a "shell of a man posing as Blackbeard") as a terrible thing and refuses to see him change even more. The crew not acting (and obeying him) like real pirates will not be tolerated either as he sees them failing to conform to what pirates are supposed to be. It’s a change from the status quo that Izzy is familiar and comfortable with, and he doesn’t like it one bit.

Remember, characters can’t grow in sitcoms, changing is not allowed.

All of Izzy’s attempts to keep the status quo get increasingly more violent and dangerous. To him, the problem is Stede who he views as the driving force threatening the status quo, with his management style, creative view of piracy and for what he did to his "boss's brain".

At first he lies to Ed about Stede telling him to piss off. Then he tries to kill Stede. When that fails, he conspires with Jackie and the British. By the end of season 1, despite Stede’s disappearance, the status quo is still shattering before his eyes because Ed is still changing. But now, he isn't only depressed, singing break-up songs and organising talent show, he is also physically changing, drapping himself in pink robes. So Izzy threatens to kill him, tries one last time to force Ed back to the status quo.

And Ed punishes him for it and goes right back to being Blackbeard. And Izzy is happy, because the status quo has been preserved.

But what Izzy failed to realize then is that all his schemes didn’t matter, he was always too late. Change had started happening before Ed even met Stede, because Ed was already changing and nothing Izzy did could stop this. And just like that, the show goes against the number one rule of sitcoms.

(side note The show still borrows sitcom elements in season 2 (mostly with the self-contained stories, like the curse suit or Ned Lowe, though this one does have repercussion in episode 7), but the status quo of season 1 is completely shattered and they never get to a point of creating a new one. We could argue it's actually even more broken by the end of season 2, with Izzy gone, Ed and Stede staying behind to build their Inn, the Crew off on the new Revenge and the Republic of Pirates destroyed.)

And Izzy realizes his failure to maintain the status quo by the beginning of season 2. What he expected didn’t happen, because Ed changed and he's not playing along and being the Blackbeard Izzy wanted him to be. This is Blackbeard, he looks like Blackbeard, acts like Blackbeard, talks like Blackbeard but this isn't like before. This one is more dangerous, more unpredictable than ever and it's now affecting the crew. This isn't the status quo, not really. Ed is on a rampage with one self-destructive goal in mind, and Izzy himself will help put an end to Blackbeard and at the same time the status quo, something he desperately clung to once upon a time, by shooting him.

Sitcoms put their characters in often uncomfortable situations where they have to confront some of their flaws. Ofmd does that to some degree, but also pushes its characters to the point where change happens in response to really difficult situations. Lucius is pushed off the ship by Blackbeard and subsequently lives through some really traumatic times that forces him to change, to become harsher, angrier. Jim's thirst for vengeance leaves them by the end of season 1, and they grow so tired of violence after being forced to work for Blackbeard, they shed this side of them to protect and uplift others (Fang, Archie) become caring when once they used to hide every part of themselves from others.

Izzy himself, symbol of the status quo, cannot hold it together anymore either. Because he loses his leg and it changes him because it changes the perception he has of himself. He says so when he looks in the mirror, wondering who he is. He pushes back at first, lashing out, he rejects the change, rejects this new reality. Until he sees the new leg the crew made for him. It might not be the leg he had before, but there is no going back to the Izzy from the past. That Izzy was alone, the new one maybe could not be. Thus starts his own transformation, effectively embracing the change and letting go of the status quo.

Meanwhile, Ed learns the same lesson, because Buttons turned into a bird in front of him, hitting us over the head that in this show, even if we borrow from sitcoms ... People can change, they should be allowed to, and they do.

[khapaleaf]

Done with my unfair run, finally (well, I was done with it on the 10th, but I wanted to celebrate by gorging myself on extremely sour candy, and afterwards I needed a day to calm down). It took me longer to finish than I had initially anticipated, but it was a grand experience filled with fun times. Anyway, trying to organise my thoughts here, because it will be interesting for me to see whether my opinions will change over time later on, and so into archiving mode I go.

First things first, I think Owlcat did a fantastic job at making this versatile and complex setting accessible to those who are not entirely familiar with it. Prior to playing the game, my own knowledge of this universe was limited to a small number of short stories and a much bigger number of memes without context. Yet going into the game, I never felt overwhelmed with new information, and felt right at home in the Koronus Expanse (or about as much as one can in this grim and unforgiving setting). The in-game glossary and the informative mouseover parts that can appear during dialogues to briefly explain what this or that organisation does, or who that person is and so on helped immensely in helping to ease into it. Bless all developers who do this, honestly. The soundtrack (10/10; not a single bad track, a triumph of a mood-setting music that seamlessly blends with the visual style), art design (pretty fucking metal – love the skulls everywhere; and it is also very interesting to see how Owlcat makes progress with each new game in terms of graphics), and characters all also play a big role in making the game a cohesive and truly engaging whole, and allow to uncover the myriad of complexities native to this setting. I laughed, I wept, I felt a myriad of powerful emotions. This is really it, this is what I want in my rpgs! And I want to play it over and over and over again. Fortunately for me, my brain is wired in a way that allows me to do just that without getting bored.

The main story itself is ultimately not all that complex, but the way it is built up within the game is genuinely interesting and engaging even despite the relative emptiness of the post-Commorragh chapters. I like that the planetary quests are structured a bit like self-contained episodes, while at the same time falling neatly into the puzzle that paints the bigger picture of the state of the Expanse. Still, I wish that there was a kind of overarching red thread present throughout the narrative like in the Pathfinder games (even though, yes, I get that these are vastly different settings and narrative experiences). For example, in Kingmaker, the kingdom has to resolve numerous issues throughout the years, but the threat of Nyrissa destroying it altogether looms over the heroes at all times – that is the kind of red thread I am talking about. It seems to me that there is a distinct lack of such a detail in this game, but if it were actually present in the story, the momentum after the third chapter would not have been lost, and it would have added some gravitas and an emotional punch to the later part of the game. Maybe there should have been more focus on Theodora’s involvement in the grand scheme of things, and how it affected the present timeline, maybe there should have been an overarching antagonist... There should have been more interactions with Nomos, definitely. Still, even with the blemishes, the story managed to draw me into a state of fascination and infatuate me with its vast cast, even though at times it felt as if I am taking part in a quietly moving tragedy, with every small decision slowly leading to a point of no return (but it fits the setting, so no complaints there). And really, this is not my first time loving a game with a less than stellar closing chapter. After all, both Tyranny and Kotor 2 stand among my favourites.

I do wish that it were possible for the player character to be a bit more involved in/written into the setting in terms of reactivity to their background and selected class. The amount of variation in the character creator with all of the different backgrounds, archetypes, skills and triumphs and so on is phenomenal, but the fact that it is all there pretty much only to serve the game mechanics side of things instead of the narrative is honestly a bit of a letdown. I suppose that this could be related back to Theodora’s insistence to forget their previous life in one of the earlier dialogues, but the option to acknowledge the character’s background would have been a fantastic touch nonetheless. I thought it was ridiculous that my first (and main, as is customary for my playthroughs) character, a voidborn, had the option to ask Vigdis to explain just what the hell a voidborn is, and how their lives are structured, but no actual option to relate to her on that level. Of course, it is entirely possible to disregard those questions completely, but then there would not be much to talk about with her, unfortunately. And she explains things so poetically, too. Just... give my character the option to relate to this experience (even though, as far as I understand, the rogue trader cannot be too voidborn-y, otherwise they would not have had the option of becoming a rogue trader in the first place). They did apparently add in some reactivity options along with the big patch back in February, but I do not have a save from that early in the game, so I cannot check whether anything at all was written in for this particular instance, or if this reactivity meant something else entirely.

Also, when it comes to the player character, I am still not entirely sure whether I enjoy the conviction system or not. I like that it restricts certain items, decisions, colony projects and such to specific conviction levels, but I do not like how it ties into the endings in the sense that one with the highest rank overrides everything else without taking into consideration the actual decisions made in the game. Basically, do tell the story of my character’s deeds, but do not presume to know what they were motivated by. My character had the most points in the Iconoclast branch (though it was roughly equal points-wise with the Dogmatic branch prior to the lock-in), and was described as an open-minded, merciful soul because of it. Open-minded, perhaps, certain in-game decisions do point to that being a possibility, and I do not even mind the fact that the Imperium feels the need to go to war with the entire Expanse because of those decisions – this fits, more or less. But was she merciful and compassionate? I do not think that a person who servitorises people left and right, uses them as fertiliser, thinks that cutting out the tongues of servants is a great idea to emulate, executes entire noble families as a precautionary measure, nukes and purges whole ass planets, and pretty much channels her inner Camellia on a regular basis is the space mother Teresa that the game makes her out to be. She is a basic bastard, but she is my basic bastard like all of my characters are, but I enjoyed her journey and I am rather protective of her, for lack of a better word. Perhaps it is a minor thing, but I do not like that the narrative makes assumptions about my character like that. And what of nuance? Sure, she did offer help to certain individuals, but it was done more from the point of view of someone who wants to ensure their loyalty, not someone who is genuinely concerned for said individual. That one dialogue with Cassia in particular was a defining point in her character building.

So here I am, trying to make a cohesive portrait in my mind, taking mental notes on what makes my character tick, and then the ending slides come up, and introduce their own static idea of what my character was like. Oh well, I suppose such are the limitations and restrictions placed on the character due to their native environment being a video game. Perhaps I could simply ignore this part, as I did with the whole kidnapping shenanigans timeline in WotR. Something to think about, I suppose.

Fortunately, the other characters, both the companions and the support characters are all a colourful bunch. And largely consistent in their attitudes and beliefs! Each of them speaks and acts in ways unique to no one but themselves, and I really like when the companion characters specifically chime in with their opinions and even have their own back and forth interactions in conversations. There is a lot of that, more than in any other Owlcat game to date, I would say. Still, when it comes to the companions specifically, I wish there were more deeply developed ways of interaction present. What I mean is that there is no option to really get to know them and become confidants, if not friends. I do feel attached to them as a player, but I would like to see my character actually interact with them more outside of their personal quests. Talking to Pasqal while he is being involved with all of the tech stuff on board? Cool! Cassia visiting the rogue trader to ask for their advice? Excellent, give me more of that, please. Getting drunk with Jae? Absolutely fantastic and hilarious (well, that was actually part of her quest, but it was still pretty unique bit, I think). I wish there were more scenes like that throughout the entirety of the game, but that is honestly my wish for any game that features companions.

On a smaller note, I also think that the book excerpts, letters and notes were wonderfully written, and I could easily imagine the personality of the author behind them, their worries, their beliefs and their desires in life.

I do think that there should have been a bit more voiced dialogue, especially when it comes to non-companions, to get a better feel for their personality as well as their presence in this world, but at the same time I am also not at all upset that a huge bulk of the dialogue happens through nothing but pure text, as I generally prefer to read and skip past the voice acting in video games on subsequent playthroughs, anyway. Unless the lines are really good, of course. And what is actually voiced is fantastic – Owlcat always manages to pick voice actors that are so vibrant and memorable and are a joy to listen to, always. Even now, I can read a line, any line, and imagine that it is spoken by Ekundayo or Jaethal, for example, all with their unique speech patterns and inflections. Here as well, the voice actors did such a remarkable job of bringing life to the characters, that I find it easy to imagine what their unvoiced lines sound like.

That said, I did not particularly enjoy the voice sets for the player character this time around, at least initially. It seems to me like they all have a bit too much personality, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but I am used to selecting these voices as a mere formality (so that the character would make noise when they are hurting in combat, or when they find something on the map), not as a pretty damn defining feature for my characters. It definitely took time to adjust. Still, it was an interesting experience, because these voice lines, somewhat surprisingly, helped me develop the character even further because I go into games without having a clear vision of what the character is going to be like, and instead develop them on the go. But! The voices for the dudes are all kind of revolting to listen to. Unfortunate, but not surprising, because I also disliked all but one in the Pathfinder games. They all sound like they have a fish bone stuck in their throat and need someone to german suplex them to get it out, looney tunes style. How will I ever experience the romance with Lady Cassia under these conditions, damn it?

Speaking of romances, I think it is hilarious that the one my character ended the game with (Marazhai) is on the opposite spectrum in terms of pretty much everything to the one I wanted her to end up with (Yrliet) before playing the game. On my first run, I was certain that the latter caught a bug sometime during its course, and thus ended abruptly without even having a proper start, but apparently Yrliet does not like it if one decides to stab a dude in the neck in front of her, as it was later explained to me. Not a fan of such colourful methods of courtship, then. But it is fine, I would rather see the characters fit together rather than force anything by having my character act in ways that do not fit them to keep the romance going. So in comes Marazhai. The dude definitely has some enviable home decor skills, is very useful in combat encounters and deals a ton of damage, sends out a bunch of his kabalites to kill the enemies of the dynasty, gives not one, but two very cool and useful buffs (and they are intangible, which means more place to equip all sorts other beneficial items – and there is such a wide variety of items to choose from, it is incredible), and is pretty hilarious overall. Also! He managed to take out nine fucking participants (five of which were at full health) of the Aeldari ambush all by himself after the rest of the party was taken out of commission. That was the most clutch moment of the game for me. So... A worthwhile investment, I say. And, most importantly, he and my character actually fit. It is stupid and hilarious, perhaps unintentionally, but they fit.

The combat! I approached it cautiously because, while I do enjoy turn-based combat, I did not actually like what I saw of it in WotR, because it seemed a bit too wobbly to me, as if the camera was swimming all over the place whenever I tried moving the party, and that made me nauseous (I never finished the fallout-bunker-type side quest due to this). To my surprise, I ended up enjoying it very much from day one, even with my immensely stupid decision to experience the game on hard difficulty during my first run of the game. I am not going to say that it was an easy task, but it was fairly manageable, and I also think that it actually helped quite a bit with making the story feel more fittingly uninviting and grim, given the amount of obstacles the characters had to overcome. Thus far, I have three full runs in total: my main run, which I did twice now, and a kind-of-sort of gimmick run with three officers in the party (plus three other characters to bash enemy heads in), though playing an officer and controlling a party member that happens to be an officer feels different to me, and I have to admit that I did not actually enjoy having the main character be one.

For my unfair run I decided to take my first character, partly because she is the one I consider to be my main, and I wanted get a more polished version of her journey, partly because I read a brilliant comment of someone saying that the warrior class is shit in this game, and my character is indeed a warrior. Well, a warrior/psyker/assassin, with the psyker disciplines being telepathy and biomancy (some people shit on telepathy, too, but it is my favourite due to offering quite a few ways to debuff and damage enemies). Still, I became curious whether she is fit to handle the unfair difficulty. And she is! My strategies may not be the best, and my builds do not allow for instantaneously killing the big bosses (oneshoting a creature with over 20000 hp? In your dreams, maybe), but they do get me through the entire game without me ever needing to lower the difficulty. And at the end of the day, so long as there is more of the enemy on the floor than there is of my guy and their party, that is the only thing that matters. Here are some of her greatest hits.

Considering that she is a bit of a hybrid build, and thus has to juggle between more ability scores than a pure warrior class, I think the results she can show are pretty good. These are all from the last zone, of course, but she is indeed able to hold her own in a fight and dish out substantial damage, both mental and physical, throughout the entirety of the game.

Overall, I was expecting the unfair difficulty to make me feel like the tussles with the wild hunt in Kingmaker did – as if I am about to experience explosive diarrhoea and vomit at the same time. And while there were numerous times when I felt like a single enemy attack could dismantle my entire party (fortunately, that tension is all part of the fun for me), ultimately as the companions levelled up their archetype abilities, and the number of available actions and manoeuvrers grew bigger, most of the fights stopped presenting a challenge in a way where it felt that the deck is truly stacked against them. I often felt like going into the difficulty settings just to check whether it is still set to unfair. Still, while I do not think Owlcat has plans for such a dlc just yet, I would actually enjoy going through a purely combat-focused one, perhaps with a planetary multi-level dungeon with an extravagant amount of dudes to have mega tussles with. More challenges, please!

But I will also admit that I do not yet understand how to build some of the party members to make them valuable in combat. Idira should be extremely powerful, in theory. And she is, but she is also doing way too much damage to the party and often gets taken out of commission during the first round, and look – now the party has to fight a shit demon on top of these other twenty guys. I am missing something crucial here, a way to prevent that from happening, a way to reduce the perils of the warp phenomena from occurring. Could it be the difference between a sanctioned and unsanctioned psyker? Mine is able to spam both damaging abilities and buff the party when the purple warp bar is at full capacity, and yet no demons will be summoned, what the hell?! Heinrix is another character that I do not know how to build properly just yet in a way that would make him strong on the lower levels. Passing out during his own quest? Pathetic!

I know it is my own fault for failing to build him properly, but come on dude, work with me a little!

I have not yet grown fond of the space battle mini-game within the game. I can see them being thematically necessary an largely unavoidable when taking the setting into account, and yet I appreciate them only slightly more than the puzzles in their previous games. I think I would have liked them more if the battles were presented in storybook format (with skill and equipment checks and so on) in order to make them feel less like padding in the game. Oh look, the green field is now positioned in a way that forces the ship to fly in the opposite direction of its enemies! And now the damaged enemy ship is attempting an escape, and now our guns cannot even reach them, and now they are successfully leaving the battlefield. And I have to reload the entire thing and try to shoot them down immediately because I cannot accept anyone making a successful escape. I understand that one enemy ship escaping still counts towards our party’s victory, but I need to see everyone in pieces.

Well, I am probably forgetting about a number of smaller details I would have liked to talk about, but the main thing is that I loved the game. Top 3, definitely! I will not deny that there are quite a few blemishes that hold it back, and there is still a lingering feeling that it game could have been even bigger and more complex, if only the development time was longer. Hopefully, that potential will be tapped in a sequel, if Owlcat ever decides to make one. And I hope that they will stay true to themselves when they do so.

[davidmariottecomics]

Brandifying the "Geek", or How Funko Became the Band-Aid

Hello again! 

Last week, I was talking about comics job (in)security, particularly in light of the majority of Comixology staff being let go, and also touched on the continued migration of comic creators to Substack, despite some public problems that platform's had.

Discussing both of those things had me thinking about the safety of a default, which is going to be a lot of what we're talking about today, and we're going to be talking about that through the highs and lows of association with a brand. I'm not here to specifically call out or bash anyone's interests or even any big companies, so much as using this as a chance to talk about trends in the larger sphere of "nerd culture" that effect audience expectations and, often, the thought processes of creatives and creative companies--the parts that actually matter to people trying to make and tell stories.  

Why Brands Like Being Brands Starting at the most basic level, let's talk about what makes a brand and why they're important to this conversation. 

Take a look at your stuff. Chances are there's a lot within pretty easy reach that you call by a brand name, rather than a generic name. Band-Aid (bandages), Tupperware (plastic containers), Kleenex (tissues), whatever.

Or maybe you don't always refer to it by the brand name, but you make assumptions about it related to the brand: tablets are iPads, cell phones are iPhones, simple and cheap furniture's from IKEA, plastic building blocks are LEGOs, sodas are Coke, and sports drinks are Gatorade. That sort of thing.

Brands like being brands because when their name is commonly associated with a product, it's good for business. More name recognizability, easier market penetration. The more a brand exists in the cultural consciousness, the more self-sustaining it is, allowing for longer lifespans and more money. If a business is lucky, at some point they corner the market and either really or artificially box out their competition and become a default. We'll get more into this later on how creators engage with each other and their audience, but keep that in mind. The other key to having a "default" is it sets a sort of standard that people can judge against, but it may or may not actually speak to quality or reliability. 

Ready Player One

If you've been reading through my blog for a while, you'll know I've been slowly making my way through the Blank Check Podcast back catalog. I'm finishing up Spielberg right now and was just listening to the Ready Player One episode. And part of their discussion, which at this point is 5 years old anyway, is the change in the pop cultural landscape between the release of Ready Player One the book and RPO the movie. The book released in 2011. I really enjoyed it on my first read as a young man who liked older pop culture and was looking forward to this crazy idea that there could be a good Avengers movie on the way because outside of X-Men, team superhero movies were practically not a thing and even something so mainstream to me as a comic reader felt like a major crossing-over event in the wider public consciousness. But by the time RPO the movie came out, the Avengers were about to have an Infinity War with characters from a dozen other movies. The language of Cinematic Universes was well established. Star Wars was back and doing a new trilogy! And Hot Topics around the world had walls of little toy statues making every property imaginable a uniform little big-headed guy. 

There's a lot I could talk about in terms of how nostalgia plays into all of that or Warner Bros. multiple attempts at creating a "multiversal WB brand" between RPO, Space Jam 2, MultiVersus, Etc. But why I'm actually bringing it up is in the past little over a decade--and particularly over the past few years as the state of the world has necessitated changes to both shopping and media consumption habits--the brandification of "nerd culture" or "geek culture" or "collector culture" or whatever you want to call it has exploded as businesses have really tried to expand their brands to become pillars of the pop culture landscape. And I think that has started to influence not just the audience, but creators too. 

The Brands of Geekdom

If I go into my local Target, chances are I'll stop by the "Collector's Spot" or whatever they call it. It's a little section by the books, video games, and whatever remains of their movies & music, usually within eyesight of, but not part of, the toy aisles. It makes sense. According to a recent report, "kidults" or--checks the description--anyone 12 or older who enjoys toys (rolls eyes), make up roughly 1/4th of overall toy sales.  At my local Targets, at least, it always seems like an odd selection. There are usually some of Super7's ReAction Figures, but specifically ones where there isn't a space in the toy aisles for the rest of the line. Star Trek & TMNT & horror movie figures end up here while G.I. Joe and Transformers sit with their kind a few aisles away. Also there are Sanrio crossover plushies, NECA figures for TMNT and Gargoyles and horror characters, sometimes the Godzilla toys, and of course the wall of Funko Pops (which is different from, but very similar to, the Hot Topic wall of Pops mentioned above). If you have ever liked a property and wanted to see it made into a physical commodity, there's a Funko Pop for that (okay, looks like ALF only had a Wacky Wobbler from Funko, but still...). 

The reason I focus on Pops is A. They're all over the place. They have an amazing amount of market penetration and there are still stores that exist primarily as Pop retailers. B. Because they work with so many other licenses, they're a good gauge of what's actually catching on--when a Pop is a shelf-warmer, it is a SHELF-WARMER. If people didn't want Ready Player One Pops, you knew. C. Points A and B have made Pops, whether you like them or not, a cornerstone of the general perception of "things nerds like." And it's one that overlaps with the others more than almost anything else--I'd contend that the GoodSmile Company has a pretty robust catalog too, but with a key difference.

Pops reflect a general audience--sure nerds/geeks/collectors/etc may like them, but they're also something a grandma might buy for you because it's cheap, it's of a thing you like, and your grandma's heard of a Pop before. But something like GoodSmile, be it Nendoroids or Figmas or other lines of figures/statues, are not as uniform and not as accessible, even if they have a lot of variety. They tend to be sought out by people who have that interest, rather than distributed to be easily findable for anyone and everyone. 

The other cornerstones that I think are often looked at in modern "nerd culture" understandings include the Disney Trifecta (Disney/Pixar, Marvel, and Star Wars--less the latter, but how many of us have heard someone refer to an animated movie as a Disney movie, or a superhero movie as a Marvel movie, when the Disney Company had no involvement whatsoever), Pokemon, Studio Ghibli, Stranger Things, Dungeons & Dragons, and in some cases where people find themselves incapable of separating their interests from the damage done by the brands' creators, Rick & Morty and Harry Potter. While I may not cater to those last two and don't personally really like Stranger Things, I certainly enjoy stuff from the rest. I even own a few Funko Pops. So, again, I'm not trying to say these things are inherently bad or markers of a false "nerd" or whatever. I'm saying that they're common and because of that, they are getting to be viewed in that default status, which can set a very strange standard which changes how we interact with stories because of the brandification of pop culture.   

A Ranger, a Warrior, and a Bard Walk Into a Bar...

The other part of why this is on my mind is that there's been a lot of conversation about Dungeons & Dragons recently. Most recently, they've reversed their position on becoming more restrictive of their open game license, and have committed to having D&D be under a form of creative commons license. And while I think that's the right decision, and am happy to have worked on a couple of D&D things in the past, I also found the conversation really interesting because I think in some ways, D&D has become an interchangeable term for some people with both tabletop role-playing and Fantasy in general. 

It makes sense, right? D&D's 5th edition is pretty popular as a game. It's got comics from IDW. There's an upcoming D&D movie. Plus, it's central to the premise of Stranger Things and is the game that like half of all podcasts play. This sort of brand rehabilitation--from the Satanic Panic era--has really built D&D into a powerhouse. Regardless of how many other tabletop RPGS there are, the controversy around the open game license inherently revolved around how many businesses and resources have been created specifically based off of and in interaction with D&D. 

And that's one of the kind of downsides to this, right? There is so much wrapped up in the understanding of what D&D is and what is and isn't allowed within it's framework. Beyond this one issue, Wizards of the Coast has been dealing with the ways in which the tropes of D&D have been harmful and how they can minimize some of that harm going forward. But because it has built into a "default" brand, it also means there's a lot of shorthand that comes to talking about setting up fantasy worlds that still uses some of the worse D&D tropes. Or, on the flip side, there are people pitching every property in the world as having a Fantasy version, but are specifically trying to get it tied to D&D for the name-recognition, regardless of whether or not what they actually would want to do with it works within that D&D framework.

Again, this is not me saying that I haven't had fun playing and working on D&D in my time. I have. It's more to say that sometimes I see conversations speculating how much fun it would be to put whatever franchise in a D&D world (often through the characters playing the game) that spends so much time figuring out the ways in which to incorporate those characters and their attributes into D&D, it kinda ignores that it isn't a story being pitched, or that it doesn't further the understandings of the characters at all. Which is fine in casual conversation, but I'm sure myself and other people in my type of roles have also had to have these types of conversations about the other "default" brands and the things that are made within their terms. The more the Marvel movie method becomes understood as superhero storytelling, the more complicated conversations about the nature of comics storytelling, particularly with first time and non-regular comics readers becomes, right? 

When the Default is Unsafe

That all gets us back to what I was talking about last week and my larger point about keeping an eye on these trends. Comixology became the default for digital comics retailer and now is going through being killed by their parent company and that's leaving an uncertain gap in the market, uncertainty in how digital comics will continue to be fostered and grow and become more accessible, and a lot of people out of jobs. Substack brings new people in for a number of reasons, but not the least of which is enough reputable people have taken to it that it's getting name recognition. 

Or, to look at it another way, I'm sure many of us unfortunately still use Twitter. Even with all the problems and the criminal owner, by virtue of being the default social media for years, it is where the majority of creators remain and their fans remain and our conversations as a community remain. And when we tried to diversify, it split too much. Not only did audiences not follow, it was hard to just find your friends and peers again. And that is unfortunate, but one of the considerations we make to keep in touch and the never-more-unified community together, even if we're all kinda still certain it'll all fall apart any day now. 

All of which is to say, I guess, be wary of what we look to as the default--in the larger pop culture landscape and the ways in which criticism of Marvel movies gets projected onto different types of storytelling or popularity is defined by Funkos or whatever to the styles you see other artists using and getting work with and the platforms we use to promote our work and engage with each other. Because while the default might be familiar, that doesn't mean it's the best representation of what could be. 

Next week: I dunno yet. We'll talk about something else.  

What I enjoyed this week: Blank Check (Podcast), Honkai Impact (Video game), House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski (Book), 17-21 by Tatsuki Fujimoto (Manga), Nope (Movie), Black Adam (Movie--No doubt, it was kind of a mess, but I'm a sucker for the JSA, so it was nice seeing my friends, I guess), Persona 4 Golden (Video game), Poker Face (TV show), The Savior's Book Cafe Story in Another World (Manga), Gundam: The Witch from Mercury (Anime), working on some wedding planning/registry stuff, bought a new mattress that should be here tomorrow (please buy stuff from Becca and me because we just spent a lot of money buying a new mattress). 

And for the sake of something fun, here's a roundup of the webcomics/comics I read digitally most weeks and when I read them: Nancy (daily), Gil Thorp (daily except Sundays), Lore Olympus (Sundays), Zatanna & the Ripper (Sundays), Batman: Wayne Family Adventures (Sundays), Vixen: NYC (Sundays), Skullgirls (Sundays), Aeonian Red (Sundays), Alfie (Wednesdays & Fridays--ADULTS ONLY), The Rock Cocks (Mondays & Fridays--ADULTS ONLY), Blissverse (Mondays--ADULTS ONLY), 1.1.23 (As I catch updates), and then my Shonen Jump block: Chainsaw Man (Tuesdays), Jujutsu Kaisen (Sundays), My Hero Academia (Sundays), Witch Watch (Sundays), Fabricant 100 (Sundays), Spy x Famiy (Sundays), and One-Punch Man (Sundays), with other stuff that updates less frequently sort of thrown in whenever I remember.     

New Releases this week (1/25/2022): Godzilla Rivals: Round One TPB (Didn't work on this, but plugging Zilla)

New releases next week (2/1/2022): Off week for my books!

Final Order Cutoff (1/30/2023): Godzilla Rivals: Mothra vs. Titanosaurus (Editor)

Announcements: Arizona Comic Book Arts Festival - 2/25! Less than a month away! It's a one day comic-focused event in Phoenix, AZ. Tickets are only $10. Attending artists include me, Becca (who once again is dropping some new stuff on their Patreon, see below), Mitch Gerads, Steve Rude, John Layman, Henry Barajas, Jay Fotos, Jeff Mariotte, Marcy Rockwell, John Yurcaba, Andrew MacLean, Alexis Zirrit, Meredith McClaren, James Owen, Ryan Cody, and many more! Come and see us! Becca'll have some very cool new merch, too!

Becca contributed to Aradia Beat, a Magical Girl Anthology Magazine! It's now on Kickstarter! It's both a tribute to 90s magical girl stories and part of a larger project about the overall preservation and mutual support of magical girl stories!

Pic of the Week: Caught the cats looking really goofy! 

[tuiyla]

How to divide a Glee season

With all this talk of season 1A this, season 5B that, I thought it’d be interesting to see where that line between two halves of a season is drawn and how close it is to the actual middle. So, to start us off, a handy diagram:

The black line represents the exact middle of a given season, so separating seasons 1-4 into 11 and 11 eps and season into 10 and 10. And then the darker colours represent the A half of the season whereas the lighter ones are the B halves. Season 6 is not included because I hardly think those 13 episodes need to be or are ever divided into A and B halves. If we had to say, I’d divide the season after episode 8 A Wedding but we’ll just consider it as one big chunk.

So, the other seasons.

Right off the bat season 1A is disproportionately longer than season 1B. There were no holiday specials in the first season unlike with seasons 2-4, the divide isn’t after an in-universe Christmas break but after Sectionals. The first 13 episodes where one big chunk of production, save for the Pilot, and it arguably shows on the tone of “the back 9″ that there was a shift. Both because they now had audience response to work with, something Glee became infamous for, and because of that break after the first 13 were done. Season 1 is far from being the most tonally inconsistent season but there is a shift between the first 13 and back 9 so I think this is rightly so the most popular way of dividing the season. And drawing this line feels necessary, too, as Glee was already becoming a different show in season 1B than it started out as. The biggest in-universe difference between the two halves is the beginning of the club in A vs coming off a Sectionals victory in B, as well as the Finchel drama after Quinn is out of the picture but others still complicate things.

Season 2 is where things shift further with the introduction of holiday specials. Even without an in-universe Christmas special, because if the break both in production and airing we’d still understand this difference between the two halves. But things are more balanced here, the most balanced they’ll ever be along with season 4′s divide. Episode 10 A Very Glee Christmas is almost exactly the halfway point and there are a couple of storylines that mostly fit into either the A or B halves. The Unholy Trinity quit the squad in the first episode of B and wear street clothes for the rest of the season, Kurt’s Dalton run is mostly the first half of B, and the Prom Queen buildup is again B’s territory. Finchel are only actually together in A and at very end of B. Sectionals is again the milestone, except we’re now adding one extra episode after it to be the holiday special.

Season 3 continues this setup of A concluding with Sectionals then Christmas and there’s an even bigger shift going form A to B. Despite A being only 9 episodes long and that’s including the self-contained Christmas ep, sooo much is crammed into it. So many storylines that begin and entirely conclude within an 8 episode frame. A non-exhaustive list here, including the West Side Story arc, the Troubletones’ rise and fall, Mike’s only storyline, politics, the Shelby of it all, etc. And then season 3B starts focusing on graduation early on and feels much more disjointed from the A half than previous seasons, imo. It’s a slower pace than A which is not unwelcome but it’s still trying to deal with so many characters and their futures that much of it becomes goodbye or setup.

Season 4 is where the Lima and New York split comes in, completing things further than when we were only in Ohio. In terms of the A and B halves, this doesn’t change much and it’s still the same system of the holiday special followed by a break. The only difference is that there’s an extra episode after Sectionals, needed to deal with the fallout of ND’s loss. Season 4A has the unique challenge of dealing with old characters on three separate fronts - still at McKinley, in New York, and graduated and in flux - as well as integrating brand new ones. So season 4B inevitably feels a little more cohesive and things like Kitty’s softening and Santana’s arrival in New York, coming in a little too late in B but still helping ground it. I still think it feels less disjointed than season 3 but there is a shift in season 4 going from the chaos of A to the show finding itself more again in B.

Finally, season 5, which messes all this up because season 4 didn’t finish the school year like all other seasons did. That’s why we still have a holiday special even though the show’s timeline is in spring (the longest spring ever) and why season 5 would more accurately be divided into A, B and C parts. I suppose season 3 could also have a C part post-3x14 but that’d make for a really short B part. So anyway, season 5B is (in)famously entirely in New York which inevitably results in a different mood compared to the rest of Glee. So even though we could say that everything after PUC is season 5B, everything until the end of the 100th(/101st) episode celebration feels much more like a cohesive unit than the Frenemies-Untitled Rachel Berry Project run would. Season 5A still has the Lima and NY split and there’s even more of an attempt, arguably, at integrating the two together. The 100th special turned two-parter is counted as part of A here and so season 5A is the still the longest run of episodes if we divide into A and B parts. 13 out of just 20 episodes are basically a different show than the back 7 of just New York and just a handful of characters as the enormous cast gets a drastic reduction. Out of all the seasons, Christmas specials and production breaks or not, it makes the most sense to cut season 5 in half - well, not proportionately. But at least in terms of how we understand it, because someone liking season 5B is very different form someone liking season 5A.

Anyway there’s no particular reason for this post other than me thinking about A and B halves of seasons, production aspects, and figuring it’d be fun to tally all this. Some might not agree with how I categorized the A and B halves but these seem to be the general consensus and it’s interesting to see how different the show can be even withing a season, and why it makes sense to distinguish between A and B parts. Maybe less so in seasons like 2, but it seems crucial when it comes to season 5.

[ijustliketoreadstuff]

Evolution trailer analysis

Major Spoilers below, read at your own risk.

The trailer starts off with Gabriel telling Emelie of his accomplishment in acquiring all the other miraculous, minus Ladybug and Cat Noir’s.

However, out of all the miraculous within his possession, Gabriel quickly reveals he is most interested in the bunny miraculous, and for good reason. With the power to travel through time, Gabriel can now take advantage of any situation in the past and do things he couldn’t do before in order to guarantee his victory.

In the trailer, we see Gabriel will attempt to travel to points in time where Ladybug and Cat Noir were left in a vulnerable position, such as in “Riposte” when Cat Noir was momentarily isolated from Ladybug or in “Heroes day part 2″ when Ladybug and Cat Noir were forced into the sewers before de-transforming, but as we continue with the trailer, we find that defeating Ladybug and Cat Noir through time travel does not become his main overall goal.

Since we know this episode deals with time travel, it should come as no surprise to see Bunnyx in the trailer. Bunnyx has appeared anytime there is some sort of time anomaly occurring which has caused a serious consequence in the future, and the thing which caused her to reappear is obviously Monarchs meddling with time. At some point, Bunnyx, Ladybug and Cat Noir do confront Monarch and have a fight with him within the burrow, however, unlike before, the heroes are now over powered by Monarchs use of all the other miraculous, allowing him to not only fight off Ladybug and Cat Noir, but also gain the upper hand in paralyzing Bunnyx with the bee miraculous to prevent her from helping them through the burrow. 

However, judging by the strange electric details around Monarch, Ladybugs shocked face and Monarchs struggling expression, it would appear as though wearing all the miraculous at once is becoming a little difficult for him to control, just like it was for Marinette in “Kwamibuster”. (For those wondering why Chloe wasn’t affected the same, I go in depth here)

Thankfully, despite Bunnyx being left in a paralyzed state for who knows how long,  Cat Noir is shown fusing with the bunny miraculous, revealing to us he had taken on the task of borrowing Bunnyx miraculous in order to fight Monarch and prevent him from taking their miraculous through a surprise attack or uncovering their identities in the past.

Of course the biggest shock of this trailer is Nathalie giving Monarch a flash drive which contains the information required to fix a broken miraculous, information which could have prevented Emelie's condition if she had been aware of it in the past, implying that Nathalie might have been the one to suggest to Gabriel the plan of saving Emilie in the past. The only problem is, earlier in the trailer, Nathalie does not look so happy with Gabriel’s idea to traveling through time , she looks shocked and concerned, but why?

We know time traveling is very risky so whatever it was that Monarch decided to do first in the beginning of the episode with such power, be it use it to take Ladybug and Cat Noirs miraculous, uncover their identities or  prevent Emelie's fate, Nathalie must have known that if Gabriel decided to take the flash drive to past Emelie, then it would guarantee her survival…but at what cost?. A lot has happened during Emelie's comatose state, some good, some bad, but when we see Monarch looking at this flash drive while he is in the burrow, we see him momentarily look at two holes,

one leading to Ladybug and Cat Noir surrounded by a strange blue environment but with Cat Noir still fused to the bunny miraculous, meaning he must have lost them at some point during their chase. The other hole leads to Emelie being carried by his younger self. As this happens, we hear Nathalie say, “It’s up to you to make the right choice”, but why is that? Gabriel has spent so long trying to take the Ladybug and Cat miraculous, but now that he has an easier way of bring his wife back, he should be wasting no time in traveling to the past to see his wife and give her the information to repair the peacock miraculous before she uses it....but maybe he didn’t.

The sad reality of this whole situation is that if Gabriel succeeds in preventing Emelie's sickness, Gabriel will risk putting the future in danger.  It has been mentioned many times that time travel is very risky and odds are Nathalie must have understood this well as she realized that saving Emelie in the past may not give Gabriel the future he envisioned. And sure, saving Emelie from her fate may seem like the logical thing to do  as it would not only save her but also prevent Gabriel from ever turning into Hawkmoth, but the reality of the situation is that by attempting to save Emelie, Gabriel may have doomed everyone, including his family.

Never forget that the bunny miraculous not only allows the holder to witness the past, it also allows them to see how the future plays out through a single choice.  And given he does not easily run to the hole where Emelie and his younger self are depicted, then odds are, Gabriel must have seen something which caused him to reevaluate his choice to rewrite history, but what?. Whatever it was he saw, was enough for him to clench the flash drive which could have saved his wife,

meaning that he might have ultimately decided to not travel to the past to meet Emelie, the only question is…what did he see in the burrow that made him realize he can’t just go back and prevent Emelie's sickness? Nathalie said it was up to him to make the right choice, and maybe this is because she knew she couldn’t just tell Gabriel what to do as it was not in her place to prevent him from saving Emelie, and because she herself had no idea what kind of effects his time traveling could have caused, so she left him to decide what to do.

 As for what kind of future would result in his choice to save Emelie in the past well, one of those consequences is obvious...no comatose Emilie means no Hawkmoth, no Hawkmoth means no Ladybug, no Cat Noir and no miraculous team existing to save Paris from all the other dangers which Bunnyx revealed  (in “Time tagger”) would inevitably arrive to attack Paris in the future. 

But lets wait and see what the episode has to offer when it premiers.

P.s.: no one bring in the whole, “That’s not how time travel works”. When watching a show remember that not all shows follow the same rules of time travel, just like how not all shows follow the same rules of magic. If you watched Dragon ball Z and Dr Who, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

[knickpnackattack]

Demisexuality and Being Seen in Dimension 20 A Court of Fey and Flowers

Y’all, what an episode right? I’ve been reflecting a lot on why of all actual-play romances, Rue/Hob would be the one that hits so fucking deep in my heart in a genre (regency, let alone the broad one of romance) that I don’t care for. This got really long, but if you’re into that sort of thing enjoy some reflection on sexuality and some DnD.

So... I guess I get into it? Thanks to ye old days of 2010 Tumblr I’ve known I was asexual/romantic for more then a decade. Comfortably so until I got to know a lady well and PANICED that maybe I was actually just a lesbian. Identity crisis galore that has come around to leaning into queer and embracing my own brand of demi. Now I have an even older friend that over distance, miscommunication, and opportunity are stumbling into something that only reinforces my identity. 

Being demisexual to me does not me a slow build up, a sudden jump from friends to romantic attraction. To be honest, I still say ace because I’m not even sure if I what I feel isn’t just friendship+/qpa. Being demi is also looking across a room at a person and feeling as though you are looking into a mirror that has never once been at the right angle with good lighting at the same time. It springs a leak that you can only plug for moments at a time before it springs a million other leaks (enjoy a specific song about coming to terms with being poly). The knowing itself usual takes a while, but it sure as hell doesn’t have to.

I’ve always said I don’t like romance plots because I don’t see myself in them. Then comes along a bugbear and owl bear... I know Andherra’s right there (oh god to I love them and Omar) but there is something deeply neurodivergent and demi about Rue and Hob that claws at my heart.

Rue has Wuvvy, an amazingly close friend who cares for them deeply but Rue over millennia has found no one to whom they felt they could be there true self with. Rue, who seems to never once took interest in romance, or love, or life-long partners. They could have had one in an instant with their glamor, one with boundaries or another court so their true form never needed revealed. Instead they lived for pride and their job and other people’s joy (oh god to I feel this).

Hob who seems to long for something but knows that the Goblin Court could never be the ones to grant it to him. Hob who doesn’t understand the cues that others send, the cultural distance between the Goblins and other courts despite his efforts to understand any of them. Hob who despite this saw only a sign of affection he couldn’t describe but he needed closer so he ate a flower (yeah, I’m one of those demi’s who mostly wants snuggles and to drag people close to me).

Rue and Hob knew each other so suddenly with barely a word spoken in the woods during the Hart Hunt that I clocked something in myself. In the watching someone be free of your chains but so deeply bound in their own that you yourself are free of. To lack words to label what you finally see and write to yourself, your friends, and people who lack your best interest purely in an attempt to understand something you only just now know. To refuse it access to your hear because it’s against you’re identity (I SWORE I was ace and finally had a panicked conversation with friends about what it FEELS LIKE to have a crush and to come to terms with identity before I even opened myself up to analyzing it because I couldn’t contain it). Burning the letter, the duel, every moment Hob has considered a motion towards Rue but the fear of what that means for his place, even one of immense discomfort, and Rue’s inability to look at Hob for fear of the strength of the bottle he pushed things into.

Episode 7 - The Masquerade was... I can only think of sad metaphors knowing what we learned about Andhera so ignore that Rue really looked at Hob and shook him hard. Yes! There are feelings there about what your court is doing to you/using you for! Not even feelings about them, just that Hob deserves support to examine any and all feelings he has. I literally had friends do this to me to get me to understand my current person. Hob and Rue not knowing the weight behind the items that they have been given but both finding ways to hide them in their outfits for the ball, literally themed around hiding parts of yourself and yet they chose to hide a part of someone else with them to. And despite being on terms in which their last interaction was Rue potentially shattering Hob’s world, his first instinct was to look for the one person he knew was like him in some reflection and to protect them at all cost. Then for a dance card and stumbling words to be the quietest admittance that they see the honor in one another and the lack of being seen by their own courts. It is the same looking in someone’s eye who is also demi/ace and saying ‘I see you and your boundaries and now you can see where I stand’ only for them to turn around and do the same.

I too would want to eat a piece of paper that says ‘I see all this in you’.

Any who, this got all sorts of rambly but um, yeah I guess Rue/Hob is me crying over feeling represented the the process of being demisexual/romantic and not just experiencing it but the painful up and downs, confidences that help and hinder, fears and hopes, of coming to terms with those rare but oh so precious diamonds of finding someone to connect with.

[mamahersh]

TMA Retrospective

At last, it is time for me to sit down and pen my opinions about TMA. Now, I’ll start by going over the timeline of my listening as you’ll see why it might have colored my opinions the way they did later; then I’ll try to segue into opinions about last 10 eps of S4 and all of S5 and how that compares to my opinions about the rest of the series, particularly MAG 001 through MAG 111; and if I don’t get too deep into the weeds or get wrapped up in the series summary I’ll try to touch on my feelings on the evolution of Jon and Martin’s relationship.

Warning, this will probably end up being my longest post about the whole thing, so here’s a read more to make sure I’m not cluttering your dash with a post the size of that one “color of the sky” post lmao.

To start out, I’m gonna briefly go over the order of events to give some context, as it really altered my opinions of S5 versus if I had gone in blind I think.

A few months back I heard about TMA through the Hermitcraft people and binged the first 111 episodes in less than a week. I had been hearing some spoilers at this point, and I was also beginning to look into fanfiction for the series which led to me accidentally spoiling 160 for myself. At that point I wasn’t sure I liked where the series was going and started reading time travel fix it fics and basically spoiled myself to the rest of the series. then over the next couple of months I sporadically listened to 112-150 and “reminded” myself why I enjoyed the series so much. The hangups I had weren’t panning out in the way I had dreaded, but S4 was honestly pretty heavy listening and it was a struggle. However about 2 weeks ago or so (around the 13th I believe) Rusty Quill started dropping hints about their announcement for the 30th (later today and I am still intrigued). I decided that since I was watching Soul Eater on a schedule, why don’t I see if I can’t set up the remaining episodes of TMA on one too? And thus my 3 eps a day was set in stone and I steadily listened to 150-200 over the course of the last week and a half to two weeks in preparation for the TMA 2 announcement.

So as you might imagine, “giving up” on the series a little over half way through because you spoiled yourself so well you knew all the major story beats of the first 4 seasons would definitely cause some interesting effects when listening to the rest of the series “for the first time”.

To dig into the meat and potatoes of my thoughts, I think I’ll start with subversion of my expectations. After all, I thought I knew what would happen ahead of time but honestly I really only knew the major story beats and over arching themes from S1-4. S5 was mostly still a mystery beyond: Jon and Martin walking through an apocalypse to get to London and eventually ends with Martin stabbing Jon in a bid to release the Fears to the multiverse. So yes, I knew kinda what to expect, and I knew S5 would be bleak after what a friend told me about what he had listened to through around ep 190; but I wasn’t quite prepared for how... blunt? the messaging was? The different domain metaphors were generally very transparent and admittedly it did bother me at times, but for the most part it was rather tolerable. Also, some of those big reveals in S5 about the Web and Jon’s part in it’s plan were still very impactful despite knowing about those concepts ahead of time. I’m still reeling with the implications from eps 196-200 for the earlier parts of the series, and it doesn’t help I’m participating in the a-mag-a-day relisten of TMA.

Something I’m realizing as I was listening to the end of the series and the beginning of the series at the same time, is just how different the podcast became? Personally, I loved S1. I loved the self contained nature of the statements, the personality of S1 Jon, the implied background office drama that was never spooky enough to get on the tapes. Not that I didn’t also love that the Statements were a puzzle, clues to help you guess that there was a wider world out there, that these things that went bump in the night still had it out for the Archivist. Nor did I dislike the broadening in scope that came with the end of season 1 and lead in to season 2. I noticed the voice actor change for Sasha right away, but I thought it was something meta: like they needed to get a different voice actor for S2 because the one for S1 could only be there for one season. Or even that I was misremembering. However when the reveal came that it was the not-them, my mind was blown.

I will say, that perhaps I preferred S1-3 to S4+5 in that S1-3 were far less bleak. Which is a silly thing to find preference in, seeing as it is a horror podcast and that’s how horror works. I dunno, I just enjoyed the S1 archival crew, what little we saw of them, more than the later iterations of the group. Although Jon and Daisy did have a nice dynamic in S4, I will admit. But I think too (and again with the ridiculous preferences of mine), the stakes seemed more realistic in S1-3? Don’t get me wrong, Jonny did a fantastic job of working up to “hellish nightmare apocalypse whose only solutions are either extinction of humanity or spreading said apocalypse across the unknowable multiverse” from “guy at a ‘normal’ archival job reads spooky campfire stories for his paycheck”. But when Jon was still human (and admittedly still fairly ignorant) the stakes seemed within the realm of something like Lovecraft: unknowable horror terrors from beyond operate through their agents of chaos on earth and we need to keep them from being awakened by their acolytes through their heinous rituals. You still had (to some extent) “good guys” and “bad guys”. Jon was slowly turning into something, but he hadn’t Become yet, and no one else in the Archives other than Melanie were on a similar trajectory.

Some (or a lot, it’s rather hard to tell actually) of my qualms with S4-5, I think, would be from how the show tries to evolve Jon and Martin’s relationship. By having a 6 month gap, there’s a lot of things that happen off screen, and a lot of character regression/development that went with it. So, Jon and Martin’s relationship in S1-3 is on a relatively stead uphill trend. Sure, S2 Jon is paranoid and distances himself from literally everyone, but hilariously enough once he gets past it after finding out about Martin’s CV he allows himself to trust Martin again. And outside of that (admittedly) rather large set back he goes from being a pompous dick to actually making an earnest effort to be Martin’s friend; even going on lunch dates in the lead up to the Unknowing. Martin, of course, struggles with a crush for much of S2-3 and possibly as early as S1 as he’s constantly trying to prove himself to Jon which leads to his getting trapped by worms in his apartment for almost 2 weeks. They both are heading towards the first soft somethings off screen for a short bit there near the end of S3.

But then S4 happens and Jon’s in a coma for 6 months. And then Martin’s mother dies, Martin himself falls into a deep depression, and Peter brings him into the Lonely. S4 is definitely good for Martin’s character development in the long run, seeing as it eventually broke him out of his shell, and it did allow Martin the isolation to get some much needed “self reflection” time to develop him more as a character in his own right, seeing as his character normally tries to stay in the background as much as possible.

However, part of what was sacrificed for this was all relationship progress between Jon and Martin up until this point. Martin leaves Jon after Jon “left” and stays gone after Jon “comes back”. They never see each other and the few times they do Martin is explicitly antagonistic, pulling a bit of a role reversal card to their relationship in S1. They are back to square one for almost the entire season till Jon pulls Martin out of the Lonely and it’s implied that Jon and Martin basically rekindle their entire relationship after mutually pining for over a year in the course of about 3 weeks. Then the apocalypse happens, there is no hope, and even a healthy relationship would be strained to the max. But, and here’s the bit that keeps putting me off kilter, they aren’t in a healthy relationship.

Between Jon’s being borderline omniscient and omnipotent (and thus the obvious power gap there), and Martin struggling to trust Jon on top of Jon being incapable of communication until about episode 190; we have a recipe for disaster. All of the personal faults that are still lingering from before the apocalypse and would normally be relatively simple relationship hurdles are exacerbated and used as weapons during it. They didn’t have time to get to the point in their relationship where it could be remotely healthy and while I disagree with Martin that they never would have worked out if given a chance under different circumstances, I do agree that what they have at that moment in time was born from trauma and just connecting with anyone who would think they were human and worth loving.

But to drag it back to a point, this is where the: I took a hug break from the podcast and read a bunch of fanfiction came in. As I’m sure you’re aware, those of you who read TMA fanfiction, particularly JMart on AO3, would probably agree that Jon and Martin a generally depicted as being a relatively healthy couple, particularly in the apocalypse. Even the clips from S5 of them having their silly moments are picked usually because it’s the one silly moment in that episode or couple episodes. Being as I hadn’t listened to that part of the show previously, I was still on: Martin pining and Jon finally warming up phase of their relationship, and generally assumed that eventually the pining on both sides would eventually give way to them actually dating (even if only mentioned in passing off tape). Of course, silly me, even after I knew that wasn’t quite the case, I was unprepared for how exactly their relationship unfolded during the course of S5. I think where the rub lied with me was that I was introduced to the OOC version of their relationship before the in character version, and it frankly caught me wrong footed enough that it was a perpetual bother.

That, and spinning back around to why I enjoyed S1-3 better than S4-5 was because there wasn’t really a sub-genre to the horror? Or if there was it was Mystery: Who’s the worm woman trying to get into the archives? Who killed Gertrude Robinson? Why is Sasha acting weird? What’s the Unknowning? What are the Fears? Are there other Rituals? What is Jon turning into? ect. Versus, S4-5 which suddenly transitioned to “supernatural office drama, pining edition” and “JMart couple counseling, Apocalypse edition”. We went from Horror/Mystery to Horror/Romance in the course of one coma and while don’t get me wrong I do appreciate Romance as a genre, even in Horror (see current Dracula Daily obsession), there is a way to pull off sudden sub-genre change but I don’t think I liked how it was done in TMA. Alas I’m not good enough at literary criticism to say how it might have been done better, and perhaps it couldn’t have and it just wasn’t quite my cup of tea, but I just found I enjoyed the intrigue of S1-3 better than the bleak existential musing of S4-5.

I kinda want to talk about the Web and how it was used throughout the series, but I feel like that would be better in a different post when I either have more thoughts about it or more to say that wasn’t already somewhat covered in my ep 200 post from yesterday.

And with that, I think I’ve covered most everything I wanted to cover. You’ll still see me posting with some frequency about the “A MAG A Day” posts and I’ll cover different themes and minutiae there that would have been out of place or I didn’t think to cover here. If you have any thoughts on this feel free to leave a message in the replies and reblogs as I’d be curious what y’all agree or disagree with in here.

[lucyllebc]

“Intrusive Thoughts” by lucyllebc

This is an Ekphrastic work. is inspired from an installation, a song, a poem, and from experience.

Tracey Emin’s My bed was a unique confessional installation of her own bed after she had undergone a series of depressive episodes after a breakup. It contained condoms, stained sheets and alcohol littered everywhere.

Natalie Jane’s song “Intrusive Thoughts” is about how one is in a relationship but have doubts on the relationship and herself. The lyric “maybe love’s not for me” interests me as it makes me think of the series of abuse and how those can make one question about their self worth.

There is a lost poem I written from experience wherein I was waiting every night for my mother to return home to confess something, but I wasn’t able to. The confession was about a series of abuse and mistreatment I received from our helpers when they are not around.

The installation is inspired of those nights lying in bed and thinking about how one can try to feel comfortable to fall asleep, despite uncomfortable circumstances. The spikes are physical manifestations of thoughts, recollections, and emotions that come in our mind after a long day, and how it can affect our comfort.

Now displayed at Gallery One, University of Fine Arts Gallery (Parola), University of the Philippines DIliman, extended until 8 February 2024.