thinking about bg3 astarion introduction. something very funny about meeting a weird guy on the road and he's like "hey, sorry for trying to stab you. i'm a lawyer btw" and you're like well that seems true. and you click on his picture and see that his character class is just Professional Liar
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finally got some time to finish these guys up! which is sort of ironic considering I started these because I wanted to draw Malleus with a Dragapult, and then I just didn't for a million years!
Malleus has the aforementioned Dragapult, except it's a super special non-canon color Dragapult (like an anime-only form that you could get in-game exclusively through some limited-time event where you have to show up in-person at a specific location in Japan) (it has some wacky overpowered exclusive move/form and the OT is listed as Malleus) (so like that kind of ridiculous specialness) (Leona is extremely salty about this). also hoards and hoards of Dreepy. Dreepy LOVE Malleus. they take naps on his horns inbetween begging him to throw them across the island at mach speeds.
Lilia has a Drampa and a bunch of Woobat that he hasn't actually caught, they just follow him around in swarms because they sense a kinship with him. (also breaking my own rule again to say that he had a Mawile in the past, because...I just really wanted to give him a Mawile...)
Sebek has Sandile for obvious reasons, and also a Pikachu that bullies him relentlessly. :(
Silver has a shiny Corvisquire; I really went back-and-forth on also giving him an Aegislash, but...hm. those pokedex entries though. he can stick with just one for now.
(I hadn't planned on the shiny for him, but after I'd decided on the Corvisquire line and was looking it up for reference, I realized that shiny Rookidee is gold and then turns silver when it evolves and I lost my entire goddamn mind)
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A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc
"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."
"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.
"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.
"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"
"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.
"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."
"This is where I live."
"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"
"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"
"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."
"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."
"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."
"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"
"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"
"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"
"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"
"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"
"Please, call me Bruce."
"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."
Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.
"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."
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Do u have any monsterfucker account recommendations?
I shall be going through my list of mutuals/people I follow as a reference because I'm sadly not that active on Tumblr otherwise. My "Following" dashboard is all I have. Thus, in no particular order:
@bucketsofmonsters has some really great series and oneshots, and they also frequently reblog monster art. My favorite story is "The Witch's Apprentice", it's how I discovered their blog!
@yandere-writer-momo has a lot of variety in her stories, especially nice if you're into fantasy and yandere. Extensive list to go through, you won't be bored anytime soon.
@queenie-the-court-jester is another yandere blog, she has some very neat (and horny) OCs that you can choose from. If hybrids are your thing, you're in the right place.
@dr3c0mix is a writer and an artist, both his stories and drawings are funky as hell and extremely entertaining. Bonus: he mostly writes for male/gender neutral Readers (which I know is rare).
@kachowden is another great combo of artist/writer and has some fantastic monster OCs like this one!
@eldritch-spouse has an entire collection of tasteful, interesting and well-designed monster OCs with a lot of written lore to them. Absolutely recommend.
I hope I'm not overstepping here with the sudden tag (sorry in advance!), but @sharklysweet and @jinkojinx are monster artists I follow and really enjoy. Definitely check them out.
Last but not least, @sophiethewitch1 and @hana-no-seiiki are currently working on a very interesting project for monsterfuckers! It's an upcoming game in its very early stages, but I'm already keeping an eye on it: @teratoquest
‼️ Many more suggestions in the comments, don't forget to check them out!
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