#but even given that the show could be invested in him. clara could be invested in him.

[bonesandthebees]

So guess who missed [Wilbur cried.] on the first read? My brain just didn’t register it as out of the ordinary. I’m blaming the fatigue, or being to invested in the story to pick up on it. It’s also because the shift is very smooth, as in there’s a good build up towards him referring to himself as Wilbur, so good that I didn’t notice it and he might not have either.

Also, upon rereading, I realised that there’s a ridiculously long time Wilbur refers to himself with just pronouns. He stops being the Pythia the second he enters the bathing cave. Because that’s what he wanted. He feels like he failed Clara and thinks she’ll be angry so he does not want to be seen by Her (or anyone for that matter). He wants to stop existing for a bit. So the second he enters the dark, he stops being seen and in his mind, stops being the Pythia. And if he isn’t the Pythia, he’s nothing. So now he only refers to himself by his pronouns. And he continues to do so even as Tommy shows up.

Meanwhile, Tommy refers to him by name/nickname because he knows they are alone and he’s aware that the thing freaking him out is probably a religious trauma problem so he’s reafirming the fact that Wikbur is a person by using his name. He also says [No one’s pissed at you, ] so he might think that’s what Wilbur is scared of, Techno brought that up too. Wilbur never actually mentioned why he can’t tell them, he just says that he can’t, so of course they assume it’s because he thinks that they’ll get mad at him when the truth is even more fucked up. But Wilbur isn’t scared of how they would react, in fact he was quite satisfied before the panic hit, he’s scared of Clara’s reaction.

But she can’t see him, and Wilbur trusts Tommy and he’s still very much a person regardless of whether or not he’s being the Pythia. So while not being the Pythia, with Tommy there constantly using his name, Wilbur lets himself be Wilbur for the first time. He lets himself break because he can’t hold it together any longer. And then, when his tears have all run out, he puts his broken shell together to be the Pythia again.

And it’s beautifully written, but it’s so sad. I’m glad Tommy was holding him because someone had to. It’s a step in the right direction. What Tommy is doing is making progress, and now that the other Deathlings got another glimpse, I’m hoping they’ll start trying to fix him too. Preferably with a little less pressure next time *glares at Techno even though I get what he was trying to do and it was necessary because of Wilbur would have never given them that info otherwise*.

Also, I am losing my mind about the fact that Wilbur wasn’t wearing his blindfold when referring to himself by name. He wasn’t wearing the blindfold. He wasn’t wearing the physical representation of being the Pythia because in that moment he wasn’t and so there was room to be Wilbur. And that last thing, I feel like the blindfold is a methophore for being the Pythia. As in, wear the blindfold blurs his vision a little and gives him headaches. It’s harmful to him, yet he wears it anyway, just like he keeps being the Pythia, because he’s terrified of what could happen when he doesn’t.

-🌲

honestly it seems a lot of people missed that moment at first which makes me happy because I wanted it to be subtle. a very 'blink and you'll miss it' kind of thing. like, I considered italicizing wilbur's name for emphasis there to point it out, but then I decided against it and I think it works in the narratives favor.

yes!! so glad you noticed the pronouns thing!! I really like playing with the narrative aspect of the text and I decided as soon as his panic attack really got into gear he wasn't going to refer to himself as the pythia at all. he wanted to be hidden from everything, including clara. he needed a moment where he wasn't anything at all, so he gets that.

this is exactly the kind of moment tommy knew he was going to want to know wilbur's name for. if something like this happened, he wanted to be able to affirm to him that he's a person and remind him of that even when he's so lost in his panic. but he's not a mind reader and so he just says what pops into his head to try and calm wilbur down, but that's not what wilbur's afraid of. it's not the others. it's clara.

but yes, like you said, he trusts tommy. clara can't see him in there, and he's completely falling apart, so for just a moment he lets himself be wilbur again. but then he pushes that back down the moment he can, and puts on the mask of the pythia once more.

techno doesn't have the most tact with that kind of stuff lmao. but hey, he has tommy and he got a hug out of it so things are going very well for crimeboys.

YES IM GLAD YOU UNDERSTAND WHY HE DIDNT HAVE THE BLINDFOLD ON. to refer to himself for the first time by name in so many years, he couldn't have it on. even though it was dark and tommy didn't see his face or anything, it wasn't on. it doesn't necessarily mean anything in a literal sense because again, it's not like tommy could see his eyes or face and he put it back on pretty quickly after that, but it was a symbolic thing and I'm really happy with how that moment turned out.

thank you so much for the kind words spruce!! so glad you enjoyed!!

[daxromana]

it's like. how much of what clara does in dark water/death in heaven is actually about danny and how much of it is about clara's need to feel like she's in control and that the universe owes her something.

and generally, to what extent does danny exist as a character in his own right and to what extent does he only represent the sort of life that clara could have (but can never have because of the person she is)?

[redgoldblue]

Just got my second Pfizer shot and suddenly I’m very very emotional about the ways Steve and Danny love people. Like, they’ve both got So Much love, but they send it out into the world very differently? Danny loves and cares about all of his friends and family but it’s mostly in a very quiet, calm way, but then he has just two or three people that he loves SO much and with such absolute force behind it, like he’s throwing absolutely everything that he is into it. Rachel must have been that at some point, and his kids, and Steve, and that’s it. Maybe his parents, especially Clara, but he doesn’t see them so much anymore. Whereas Steve doesn’t love people with that absolute force (except for the ways that he does, with Danny, but that’s another matter) but he loves… everyone. Like, given their respective histories, Danny should be the one who’s more likely to see the good in people, but he isn’t, it’s Steve who always desperately wants to look for the good in people and to believe in them, and as soon as anyone comes anywhere near his emotional vicinity he’s totally invested in them and loving them, but… softly. All-encompassingly. Danny loves like a meteor, Steve loves like the sun.

And that’s reflected in the ways they get hurt, too. Steve’s had so many betrayals and heartbreaks in his life, because he trusts and invests in so many people, even when he shouldn’t, but he also always manages to recover from them and keep functioning through them, because it’s never his whole world that’s come crashing down on him. And he always, always, tries to bring them back into his life, whether he succeeds, like with Cath, or is never able to, like with Doris. Whereas Danny… it’s hard to get to Danny, but when one of his people hurts him, it’s so strong. Like, it’s canon that if it weren’t for Grace, and for Matt constantly coming over, he could well have killed himself after the divorce, if only from alcohol poisoning. And you see it with Steve - we only get brief glimpses of it, but he clearly shuts down when he’s gone dark during ka i’o, he’s doing his job but he’s just… doing his job; even early on when Steve leaves him the Dear John Korea letter, he gets so mad because he gets so upset. And it’s why he’s so clearly depressed at the start of the show, because the only Person he has left he only gets to see every other weekend. Steve gets hurt easily and often, because so many people can hurt him, but no-one ever destroys him; Danny lets extremely few people close enough to hurt him seriously at all, but the people he does, my god, they can break him into a million pieces and he knows it.

[permian-tropos]

Daniil - Liberosis

Didn’t think this prompt word would become so poignant so soon. The subject matter wound up kind of surreal and taking whatever path I thought might be interesting but sometimes it’s nicer to let other people search for meaning in something. 

IDK yeah I just wanted to publish this. Contains canon-typical misery.

Liberosis: The desire to care less about things.

-

It rains again, always with that damn rain, and inside of each puddle in the street is the reflection of a man with cold eyes. They’re a little bit sardonic, as if the protective cloth tied over his mouth obscures a world-weary smirk. They track movement deliberately, and never dart or flash.

When did this happen? When did his features freeze in place like this? It’s interesting. The last time Dankovsky saw his own reflection, he was burned out like a candle stub.

This is better. You’d rather see a second wind from the Capital doctor on his rounds, a man who cares less and does more, even if what he does isn’t much use to anyone. It’ll give people less reason to panic.

The plague is spreading on the wings of panic. That’s why the patrolmen show no mercy to the sick, those shambling mummies, when they stray into the streets.

Dankovsky never gave such an order. The man in the puddle wears his intentions well: But I wouldn’t countermand it.

When you think about it, the only way to fight the plague is to resist your natural human desire to seek help, or even the comforting touch of another; instead you must succumb in solitude, to save others.

The nature of epidemics really is to target the most precious aspects of our being…

“What do I do? What do I do? I’m lost…”

Dankovsky first expects that wheedling voice to come from a child, but it’s too knowing, like it’s playing a game.

Sometimes they’re called mimes, but they talk too much. They’re more amused by the circumstances than the name Tragedian suggests. Subconsciously, Dankovsky has gotten into the habit of treating them as if there is not a human under that patchwork black cloth, but paper stuffing, or an animated wire frame. They’re an oddly useless counterpart to the orderlies, and they certainly don’t answer to the Bachelor.

“One of you?” he sighs, backing up a few steps. “What do you want from me this time…? Get it over with.”

The masked man dawdling under the streetlamp tips its head slowly one way, then the other. “His Excellency thinks I spoke to him?”

“I’m the only one on the street. Unless you’re raving, in which case I have no time for lunatics.”

“How cruel. In any case… I’ve lost my mask.” The Tragedian shields its eye-holes from the rain with a hand, and looked far and wide.

“It’s right on your head,” Dankovsky grouses. “Now what’s my reward for finding it, a bag of marbles? Or wait, you’ve lost those too.”

“Oh, no, not this. This is my face. You see how blank and plain it is? It wants a character, a role to play. A mask, a mask.”

Dankovsky folds his arms. “What about playing a man who doesn’t leave his house… wherever he comes from, his burrow, his den, and doesn’t get himself into trouble?”

The Tragedian offers an apologetic shrug and spread palms. “I tried it but alas, it weren’t for me. I didn’t know my lines, and came too late…”

The Bachelor mutters, “You’ll be a dog soon – playing dead.”

“I’ve lost a mask of careless cruelty… I think it would be fun to wear a while. It grins at simple victories and doesn’t shed a tear for those less fortunate. I’d like to be the one who laughs in Hell…”

“Fine, I’ll look for something like that… I suppose.” It wasn’t the first bizarre request he’d taken, and been able to fulfill despite not understanding it at first. Whatever the Tragedian was looking for, it would turn up eventually.

Now the Tragedian was clasping its hands together, pleading. It was remarkably expressive for having, as it said, such a blank face. “But if perhaps you’d let me borrow yours…”

“That’s completely unsanitary.” What kind of idiot request was that?

“I mean the one behind the cloth, the visage that regards the world so icily…”

The Tragedian pokes an impudent, spidery finger right between the Bachelor’s eyebrows, which pinch together in great chagrin.

“I don’t know what you’re getting at… but I get the impression you’re not asking for a real object.” He slaps the finger away. “If you want to wear my face, playact all you like. Just don’t impersonate me to anyone important, or use my name for any stupid ventures. Or you’ll regret it.”

Dankovsky leaves the actor to mime out his gratitude, head fervently bowing, clasped hands pumping up and down. He’d expected to get something out of this exchange, but perhaps it’s a longer-term investment. Or it’ll be quite the farce when the thespian starts wandering around the town pretending to be him. He’s not sure what he’s given away.

Signal fires mark the start of an infected district. He tightens the cloth around his mouth and nose and rushes in. There’s one house in particular he has to visit, so he very much intends to keep his head down all the way there.

His ears are assaulted by wails of the dying, carried far even by stagnant windless air.

At first he doesn’t understand why his skin is prickling. Senseless paranoia.

I gave away my mask…

It doesn’t mean anything!

But something’s changed in him for sure.

Even though it’s illogical, he’s shivering like ice has been poured down his shirt.

His eyes catch movement and he jolts away at first, because he’s learned to flee whenever a human shape stumbles across his path in districts like these. One filthy touch from any of these walking corpses could pass on the infection.

“Don’t,” he whispers. “Don’t come near me…”

“Help us…” the mummy gabbles. It’s sobbing under the linen wraps, but those cries might be of relief as well as pain. “Please, please, you’ve got to help us… I’ve been looking all over for a doctor… You’ve got pills, haven’t you? Kind sir… spare us something… even just a sleeping draught…”

Dankovsky should be fleeing, and he’s frozen instead. He should do the compassionate thing and put a bullet through this faceless cloth-wrapped head, and he cannot. He has the unsettling thought he would rather turn the gun on himself.

The supplicant takes his inaction as permission. Its hand has seized him and is crawling up his forearm, creeping as surely as a mold on a wall.

“There must be something…” the infected one pleads. “If only to… I just wanted to… oh, but it’s so… my head’s spinning… I can hardly hear myself, can you hear me? Am I speaking? Are you there?”

More dying souls are shambling out of the alleys and either they can smell healthy skin like sharks smell blood or they’re spotting him through the gauze over their eyes and immediately recognizing him. Two have emerged from behind one building… a third and fourth from a park…

The dead come to drag him down into the earth. Rain pours down his cheeks.

“Hey!”

There’s someone behind him, shouting, but he doesn’t realize it’s directed at him until—  

“What do you think you’re doing, dummy? Dummy Dankovsky!”

“Hah?” He’s unstuck when that strident childish voice pierces his ears through the white noise.

In comes charging none other than the wandering saint girl, shoes pattering and splashing through the sodden pavement. She spreads her palms out like she’s pushing out a great wave of force from them, some kind of heavenly wind, and even though no immediate magic goes off with a theatrical bang and puff of smoke, the sickened townsperson withdraws.

Clara catches Dankovsky’s arm. Her grip is mighty steel.

“You didn’t think you could heal them with your touch, did you?” Her tone is either mocking or heartachingly sincere. She’s too peculiar to ever be one thing or another, so maybe it’s both. “Don’t… don’t get those funny ideas into your head, okay? You’ll make people worry about you…”

Of course he finds her words ironic, but not surprising. It’s the usual way that young people parrot the things they’ve been told by others, as a way of expressing concern.

Especially ironic now that she’s extending her free hand towards the bandaged wretch, with a strained but beatific smile, flashing white teeth. Her fingers unfurl, flexing, preparing for an incredible sleight-of-hand.

“Don’t be scared,” coaxes the Changeling. “I’ll take care of you!”

“Careful—!” the Bachelor croaks, voice stolen by panic. But he still waits with bated breath, wondering if he’s about to witness a miracle.

But as soon as Clara’s palm brushes the gauze-wrapped fingertips, the infected person’s hands turn to claws. They gasp and clutch their chest, rocking on their heels, head bobbing.

It’s almost as if they’re trying to express a profound devotion and love that cannot fit inside them. Then they exhale without a word, collapsing in a heap, like a thread over their head has been snipped.

Clara’s smile shrinks by millimeters. Water droplets slide off it, dropping from the corners of her lips.

“Why…?” Her query is a quiet chime, a small tolling bell.

“Leave it, leave it. It was a myocardial infarction,” Dankovsky mutters. “Plainly, a heart attack. It’s usual for them to die like this in the end… Perhaps they were startled by us… Overwhelmed by a moment of hope.”

“I thought I was the one who healed…” the girl says, eyes fogged with confusion. “I mixed it up… Even we can’t tell us apart anymore…?”

Damn this… The girl’s delusions are only going to worsen now. Whoever’s been letting her roam about without supervision needs to rethink their priorities. She used to irritate Dankovsky with her proud preaching, and he was afraid she’d be able to stir the town’s population into a fervor. They come out of their homes in search of her sometimes.

Still, it’s possible she’s been witnessing frightening things for days — or longer? who knows where she came from or what she’s suffered to be without a family now — and has convinced herself she must have a purpose. Whose mind doesn’t falter like that in the face of an insane world?

The Bachelor doesn’t think he’s nearly as paternal as his rough-and-tumble counterpart, the favorite of the orphan underclass, Burakh. But Burakh’s not here right now.

Dankovsky slings a strict enclosing arm around Clara’s shoulders.

“You didn’t do it, Clara…” he commands her to believe, as his heart keeps minutely panging in that new way that he’s not accustomed to. “Don’t think about it. Pull that ratty scarf over your mouth and nose and keep moving.”

She’s stumbling after him, reluctantly keeping apace. “But can’t you see I’m not her…?”

“Whoever you are, I don’t care,” Dankovsky mutters. He stares only ahead, at the distant waterlogged signal pyre marking the invisible border between poison and safety.

[hibiscustea9]

10,000 views on “Fire Walk with Me”!

YOU GUYS. Late last night, “Fire Walk with Me” hit 10,000 views. I am beyond blown away by this. Nothing I have ever written has come anywhere close to the reception this story has gotten. To celebrate, I’m going to make the sort of post I don’t usually make and share one of my headcanons for each of the Stardew Valley villagers (excepting the few who don’t have any real impact on the story, like Gil and the Ginger Island villagers). Read on below the jump to see these (some of which have been shared already in “Fire Walk with Me”) and thank you, thank you for all of your support and reading this story. It’s made me so very happy.

Abigail secretly loves disco music. She hates the aesthetic and clothing of the era, but she will rock out to any of the great disco bands or divas when in her room and with her earbuds in. She would sooner die than have Sam and Sebastian find out about this.

Alex had offers to attend several universities on a full ride scholarship to play gridball, but turned them down out of fear of failing out of school. After high school, he was diagnosed as dyslexic. His teachers were encouraged to just pass him through without making him complete the work, which left him deeply insecure. He now has plans to go to trade school, which he feels might be his ticket out of Pelican Town.

Caroline is the wizard’s daughter, and a lay green witch. Her father was a sailor who was lost at sea and Rasmodius comforted her mother (which is the regret Rasmodius has that broke up his marriage). Caroline’s hair is naturally green. She is not aware of her magic, which manifests mostly as being able to grow any plants she wishes.

Clint left Pelican Town to go to college, only to have to come back when his father died to take care of his mother. He was a voice major and has a lovely singing voice, though he’s often too shy to show it off these days.

Demetrius is a skilled teacher and used to adjunct biology classes at Grampleton Community College to help support his family when Robin was getting her carpentry business off the ground. While he enjoyed teaching, the commute and long hours burnt him out after a year and he hasn’t felt the urge to teach since.

The Dwarf is a huge movie buff, but even more than the films, she enjoys turning around while sitting in the front row to look at the faces of the people watching the films.

Elliott is not a citizen of Ferngill but a foreign national. His posh accent and vocabulary rubbed some townsfolk the wrong way when he moved to Pelican Town. He managed to get on the good side of those same townsfolk when he accidentally knocked his bait bucket all over himself at his first Festival of Ice but continued fishing through it, coming in a respectable second to Willy that year.

Emily genuinely believes in the healing power of crystals and positive thinking, though she also has great respect for traditional medicine. She often asks Harvey medical questions when he’s at the bar. For his part, Harvey truly enjoys being able to talk about his discipline with anyone else, even a crunchy granola type like Emily.

Evelyn stopped believing in Yoba after her daughter was diagnosed with cancer and died young, leaving Alex in her care. She has never let on, given how George makes a point of attending weekly services. Seeing how much Clara suffered, first in an abusive marriage and then going through the failed treatment for her cancer, left Evelyn unable to believe in an all-powerful deity. Instead, she aims to spread as much kindness as she can, seeking salvation in other people instead of worship of Yoba.

George started watching so much television when Alex came to live with him and Evelyn. He didn’t like TV much before then, but got in the habit of letting Alex stay up late and watch reruns with him. While he claims to enjoy westerns the most, he has a not-so-secret love for classic game show reruns. The way the women dress reminds him of Evelyn when she was young, though he thinks none of them are quite as pretty as Evelyn.

Gus used to run a successful restaurant in the Zuzu City suburbs and is a classically-trained chef. The stress of running the restaurant and being in charge of both the front and back of the house took a toll on his health and his doctors recommended he step back and find something less strenuous to do. With his proceeds from selling the restaurant, he built the Stardrop Saloon and now is much happier with his life.

Gunther is a local son of Pelican Town who moved away to attend grad school in library science. He had a job in Zuzu City but moved back when he learned of the theft of the collection. He secretly resents returning to Pelican Town, which he was eager to leave, but feels it is his duty to stay and ensure the library is taken care of.

Haley’s ringtone on her phone is the National Geographic theme. When she was young, her parents took her and Emily all over the world and she grew fascinated with other cultures and other places. She has planned all the trips she wants to take. As much as she and Emily bicker, Emily is her favorite travel companion.

Harvey and his family were very poor when he was growing up. When he was fourteen, his sister contracted scarlet fever and they were unable to afford a doctor’s visit. A local doctor from a clinic came by and left medicine at her own expense. This led Harvey to pursue medicine as a career; he could make much more money in Grampleton or Zuzu City, but he stays on in Pelican Town because they really need a doctor. 

Jas helped Shane with his experiments in breeding the chickens. She has a natural head for science and once she got hold of Shane’s books, she plotted out how to look for recessive genes that would allow for chickens to be bred and emerge with blue feathers. She and Shane have a gentlemen’s agreement to not tell Marnie.

Jodi worked as a travel agent before she married Kent. She always envisioned the trips they would take as soon as they had the money, and then when Sam was grown, and then when Vincent was grown. She sometimes stays up late on the computer, looking at flight plans and planning the most affordable trips that would allow her to travel and see the places she most wants to see in the world.

Kent found comfort in another soldier when they were in the Gotoro prison camp. Though it became physical, it was more about finding something to hold onto than about the sex. His guilt over this relationship kept him distant from Jodi and his sons when he first returned. After confessing his indiscretion to Jodi, they attended relationship counseling. She has forgiven him, but he has yet to forgive himself.

Krobus is technically a liquid.

Leah earned an M.F.A. from Zuzu State, where she met and became friends with Elliott. Prior to attending her program, she interned as an apprentice carpenter in Grampleton. It was these same contacts who told her about Pelican Town and Robin, who let Leah stay at her home while she looked for a house to rent in town. Leah not so secretly has a crush of admiration on Robin.

Lewis, before becoming mayor of Pelican Town, owned a leatherworking business. He misses working with his hands, which is one of the reasons why he always visits the shopkeepers and is insistent on there being booths at the Stardew Valley Fair for the artisans in town to show off their wares.

Linus used to live in Pelican Town. He has a living relative in town. [REMAINDER REDACTED: SPOILERS FOR UPCOMING CHAPTERS OF “FIRE WALK WITH ME”]

Marlon saved George’s life the day of the mine cave-in. He was the only one willing to enter the caves and seek out the last missing miner. It was in the process of doing so that a falling rock blinded him in one eye. Despite his injury, Marlon managed to pull George to safety up through the mine shafts. Though his lost eye made him unable to be an active member of the Adventurer’s Guild, Marlon does not regret anything and would absolutely do it again.

Marnie wanted to be a veterinarian. She did very well in college, earning a degree in animal sciences from Zuzu State, and was on the verge of leaving Pelican Town permanently to pursue vet school when she interned at a vet’s office in Grampleton for a summer. She was so distraught the first time she had to assist with putting a dog to sleep that she gave up on the career and decided to open her ranch. She makes it a point to be present any time an animal has to be put to sleep to give it comfort, even though it wrecks her emotionally.

Maru got into science after Sebastian was completely uninterested in a chemistry set he got one year for the Feast of the Winter Star. She is still passionate about chemistry, despite her other interests in biology and robotics. She was briefly the most popular kid in town, despite being younger than most of the other young adults, when she learned how to make ice cream using ingredients found in any kitchen.

Morris was a child actor who had a small role in Junimo Forest, a nearly-forgotten children’s movie from more than forty years ago. He owns six of the known twenty surviving copies of the film.

Mr. Qi took Sandy on as his ward after her parents, who worked for him, died suddenly. He considers Sandy to be his own daughter and always looks out for her. It’s why the Oasis is still in business despite barely getting any customers.

Pam and Penny used to live above the library. Pam’s husband and Penny’s father was the former curator, who made off with the entire collection on a day when Pam took Penny to an academic competition her senior year of high school. The trailer was the only thing they could afford to move into. This was when Pam started drinking so heavily and Penny started longing so much to live in a house of her own.

Pierre holds a degree in economics that he wanted to use to help boost his family’s business. His secret stash is stock options that he has been investing in since taking over Pierre’s General Store from his father. Neither Caroline nor Abigail knows about this money that Pierre is sitting on.

(I am not the biggest fan of Pierre, in case you can’t guess.)

Rasmodius only built his tower after his daughter, Caroline, was born. He has looked over Caroline and her family ever since. Though his lifespan will last far beyond Caroline’s, he plans to watch over Abigail after she is gone, as well as any children Abigail has, or their descendants. His greatest regret is not being present in Caroline’s life as she was growing up.

Robin wanted to be a ballroom dancer, but at 5′11 was far too tall to actually enter the ballroom circuit. She met Demetrius at amateur ballroom dancing lessons and still knows how to perform any ballroom or Latin dances she learned. Her favorite dance is the tango because of the crisp precision required. After she retires, she and Demetrius have a plan to travel and dance the tango in all of the countries where it is taught.

Sam, despite a love of pranks, only ever really got in trouble once while in high school. He and Sebastian cut class and went to a local park, where Sam skateboarded and Sebastian smoked. A missed trick made Sam get so scraped up he had road rash for a month. After he got home, Jodi read him the riot act for once and grounded him from skateboarding until school was out. That was when Sam got into guitar and started thinking seriously about a career in music.

Sandy met Emily at a holistic retreat. She used to work for Mr. Qi, selling snake oil (literally - his iridium milk sells for a huge amount to those in the know), but was so energized by her encounter and conversation with Emily that she decided to go into running her own store.

Sebastian’s favorite adult in town (other than his mom) is Marnie, who recognizes in him a kindred spirit. Marnie taught Sebastian how to catch frogs when he was young and he still occasionally seeks her out to talk to and ask advice from. He vehemently dislikes Lewis because of his refusal to acknowledge his relationship with Marnie, and wants to see Marnie in a relationship with someone who will treat her right.

Shane was on track to be a major gridball star, and was the hope of Stardew Valley High, before getting in a car accident senior year. He almost lost a leg and had to spend six months relearning how to walk. He began drinking heavily afterward to cope with the constant physical pain. Marnie reached out to friends of his in Zuzu City, who had him come live with them and dry out. He remained sober until three months after he moved back to Pelican Town with Jas, his goddaughter. He started drinking again after working at JojaMart, much to Marnie’s dismay.

Vincent changes what he wants to be when he grows up on a weekly basis. Past desired jobs have included soldier (like his dad), musician (like his brother), teacher (like Miss Penny, but something fun like art, not yucky like spelling), game show host, Flower Queen, surfer, and astronaut. Jodi amuses herself by imagining what her son will wear to work on the weeks where he insists he’s going to be some combination of the above.

Willy is a veteran of the Ferngill Coast Guard. He is from the Fern Islands but vowed never to return after some of his siblings disputed his father’s will and caused a massive feud. He joined the Coast Guard as a way to stay on the water and get away from the islands. He was honorably discharged after suffering an injury on a rescue mission and decided to settle in the most peaceful seaside town in Ferngill that he could find, which led him to Pelican Town.

Once again, thank you all so, so, so much for reading “Fire Walk with Me”! I hope you enjoyed these headcanons and that they give you some insight into some of the way I’ve written characters in the story.

[enchanted--realm]

When Calls the Heart Live Ramples

Season 8 episode 9 Pre Wedding Jitters

That scene in 👏Nathan's 👏office👏 The lines they wrote for Kevin *chef's kiss* perfection. I mean, I still dont like this whole secret reveal thing. I think it's so dumb. Like, ain't no way the writers intended Nathan to have this secret when he first came to the show. I don't think he was suppose to have any secret at all. I mean, this whole, 'There's something he's not telling me' thing came out of nowhere. That aside, the love confession was great, again, and he left Elizabeth speechless again and she ran away, AGAIN. That tells me all I need to know. She cannot deny this man BECAUSE SHE LOVES HIM. And if y'all think otherwise than you're delusional.

The game at the bachelorette party. It was obvious from the promo for this episode how this would play out. She reaches for Nathan's hands and thinks he's the one. (I was predicting that she would know it was Nathan and then feel uncomfortable and move on, but that didnt happen. She thought he was Lucas *bleh. Though I was still right in thinking Nathan would be 'the one' during this little game). We like that. I really liked how the party scene lasted longer than I expected. It wasnt even too long of a scene, but it was definitely long for When Calls the Heart. This show really needs to work on it's pacing. Everything happens so fast bc they have to cut to the millions of side plots that happen in every episode. My gosh, would they give us some focus please.

When Lucas came by Elizabeth's house in the morning I enjoyed that they interacted more casually with each other it seemed, at least it did on Elizabeth's part. Just through small details like the way she was casually leaning in the doorframe or her tone of voice. She wasnt so awkwardly polite...but Lucas still was. Lucas is so polite it's uncomfortable. Like I don't feel like anybody could just be themselves around him, bc it's like every meeting has this awkward air of being polite to an acquaintance you dont know well. Ugh it's so weird. I didnt like that Elizabeth told him Nathan's reveal. I feel she should have kept that to herself. Ugh and then Lucas wanted to act all protective and 'talk' to Nathan. Oh please. That is not his place. Elizabeth is obviously the one who needs to talk with Nathan and it's no one else's business what goes in between them, besides Allie of course. And speaking of Allie, I thought her scenes were really good and thoughtful. I still think it was weird that Lucas got her a gift for her adoption ceremony, but whatever we are past that now. I like that her character is being more mature about everything too. I really hope we get a scene where Allie and Elizabeth have their own conversation though. They need it. I'm not sure how I feel about that obvious Paul (Florence's son) having a crush on Allie. It seems that the writers will want them to like each other. I guess it could be cute? It's just a little awkward bc we havent seen this Paul kid around before so it creates a weird air that the only reason he shows up now is to be a school crush for Allie. Eh. Jaeda was great though and I think she did her scenes well.

After Lucas and E talked, I think it's obvious to Lucas that Elizabeth has strong feelings for Nathan and that she's just running away from them. I mean, she told Lucas that when Nathan told her he loves her all she could do was say nothing and just leave. *holds out arms and stares with a 'well, there you have it' expression'* IT DOESNT GET ANY CLEARER THAN THAT. I wonder if the writers will make Lucas step down bc he cant be with someone who will never love him. Idk how Lucas will react honestly, Lucas's character is such a mystery to me I could never know what he would do in a situation that didnt involve setting up a perfectly romantic date or sweet talking someone with an annoyingly, unrealistic, perfectly understanding polite response.

Elizabeth was also super rude to the people she cares about in this episode. The way she talked to Rosemary. First, she didnt like hearing what Rosemary had to say, which implies that she may have been blaming Nathan for Jack's death. That is such a horrible thing to hold against someone. I mean I could understand why she would feel that way but just for a moment. I mean she should understand how completely wrong and irrational that thought process is and that she shouldnt blame Nathan. TWO, then she had the nerve to tell Rosemary something like 'why would you think that comment would help me right now'. Wow Elizabeth. Gee, maybe she's saying the truth and she's also your friend and just trying to talk things through and give her opinion as a way to help you through your difficult situation. God forbid she doesnt say the perfect thing that you needed to hear at that time, she can't read your mind. I thought that was incredibly rude. It hurt to see Rosemary hurt. And then later she told her that she should leave her house. *SCOFF* man, she was really hitting Rosemary hard this episode. If I were in Rosemary's shoes, yes I would be hurt, but I think I would mostly be understanding of what Elizabeth might be going through and not take anything personally. E's lucky that Rose is such a good friend. OH! What Rosemary told Nathan in the library! She totally implied with her little metaphor comparison that Nathan was making Elizabeth unhappy by getting in the way of true love, i.e. Lucas and Elizabeth. I-- wow! Everyone is against this man. I'm so glad that Nathan stands firm. I mean he knows that Elizabeth feels strongly for him based off her reactions to his honesty with her and how she never denies anything and just runs away. I mean, it's plain as day. Let's not forget the *speechless gaze into each other's eyes* 'I can't' from Honestly, Elizabeth.

I think that's it regarding the love triangle. I absolutely despise the Faith and Carson relationship. And I cant believe they made him say, come with me to Baltimore and we can see in a year if we want to get married. That is so dumb. He just asked Faith to drop everything and leave her life in Hope Valley for a 'I might break up with you in a year' situation. Dumb. This is definitely out of character for Carson. It's obvious the writers are just trying to get rid of him and make him not be missed by the audience. They clearly want us to favor Faith, but she couldnt be more annoying honestly. I wish she were leaving and Carson would stay in Hope Valley. But whatever.

I dont like how every side plot seems to be about some couple's budding relationship. I mean aside from the love triangle, we have Florence and Ned, Molly and Bill, Clara and Jesse (though not a budding relationship, it's still all about their relationship) and now Rachel and Christopher and oh yes also Fiona and whoever that guy is and wow I'm still missing Faith and Carson. Thats 6 other romantic relationships in the show (not including the also important one of Rosemary and Lee) and I'm probably leaving one out. Oh yes, now possibly Allie and Paul. 7. Seven relationship side plots!!! Omg I'm going crazy!! They need to learn how to write some actual plot! What happened to town problems and family drama! Thank goodness we have Henry Gowen and his son (cant believe I just complimented that out of nowhere concept but hey) and the oil thing with Lucas and Henry, barely ever a plot line. This show needs better writing. There's no glue holding the town together and even when there is, it's so small or happens so fast that it doesnt have any long lasting and meaningful affect.

If I weren't so invested in Elizabeth's plotline and in need of some wholesome tv, I would have stopped watching a long time ago. Oh and the last thing. The mention of Abigail. I'm so glad Henry mentioned her because she was very important to him and his character growth. His character arc is one of the saving graces of the show and it needs to be given more attention.

Okay in short, Elizabeth was hecka rude, Nathan is wonderful and so was that office scene. We also stan Allie. Next week's episode also looks like a dud and I dont think much will happen.

[dredreadsdrawing]

Day 2: 'Family', using the template created by @benjiweird

This one's gonna take a bit more context lol. So I've already posted a past Demonverse story concept named Tearduct Pact, right? Welp. Before I made those characters, I already had a few ogs in that universe that I never got to drawing. These are some of em.

And this is the story about a family created by a demon.

Florencia was a girl born from a rich invester and an immigrant maid. She was taken in by her father, but neglected by everyone.

One day, for a sister of Florencia's birthday, the family went to watch a circus. Florencia, of course, stayed behind. The family never returned in one piece.

Florencia was alone. Ten years old, she knew she was in trouble, but she could do nothing. Servants left, distant family members would come only to dispute over assets in the office. Though her father made it so his children would get all his possessions, she was never brought up as a candidate. She didn't want money or possessions, she just wanted a home. But knowing the adults, they would rather kick her out the second they claimed the house, than have to keep her around.

At night, she noticed a voice from the bottom of her bed. Always soothing her. Always making jokes. Always promising it would be okay. If only she made a deal. She was scared to even look down, and would largely ignore it. But one particular night, her uncles weren't leaving. They were coming to a conclusion, and she knew. She needed to act.

She gave into the deal, and the figure showed itself. It promised it would only take what could be spared. All it needed to seal the deal was a body. Being a lower level demon, the bear would do for now.

With the ritual done and his soul bound to stuffing, something peculiar occured. She couldn't let go of the bear. She couldn't move her body at all.

The demon had possessed her. And, using her, 'she' moved to barge in to the office and demand they leave. The men laughed.

'She' walked over to father's desk and took out the pistol from his top drawer.

'She' wouldn't ask nicely again.

They moved closer, trying to take it away. She shot an uncle's fingers off. That finally brought them to their senses. She wasn't going to leave.

"That was your second warning. You may not believe it because my father never mentioned me, but I am a quick shot with 100% accuracy. I will kill you. This is my property and you are no longer welcome."

They were outraged. The nerve of this girl, claiming this house! 'She' looked at the only lawyer in the room, straight into his eyes.

"I know my father's will like the back of my hand. You ingrates will destroy his legacy given the chance. This is why he never mentions any of you. Now leave, or else, by law." 'She' smiles. "I can commit murder."

They left but promised they would cost more me back for revenge. The uncle with his fingers offed took his threats personally. Finally, with everyone gone, the demon let go.

Florencia fell to the floor. She couldn't believe what had transpired. She was...

She was glad she made the deal.

This wasn't over, he assured her.

She needed allies. Staff. To continue her father's business. He would make sure she would thrive, and she eagerly held his body close. She welcomed all his promises.

~~~

I will get more in general because I don't have everything else as specifically planned. What transpires is her, the next day, going to town and walking through the streets with her demon, guided by his intuition on who to take in as a servant. Five people are chosen.

Lewis, a man trained for years as a butler by a prestigious family, recently fired after being caught with the master of the house. They had been secret lovers, but when push comes to shove, he was abandoned, left to rot in poverty and alcoholism.

Marcy, a sweet girl who had a life ahead of her. She was betrothed at an early age, promised a life in the city, but an accident with her lover left her short a leg. The financial burden that would come from a wife that can't work was too much, and she too was left behind.

Clara, the old widow and her two children. Her husband was her lifeline for most of her life, but his passing meant she had to step up. Working in a restaurant with her oldest son, they would get paid, but not a fair share. The tipping point was when her second child came to work as well, only to be mistreated by the owner. They quit, and were readying to move.

But Florencia found them all and tooke then in.

Brought together by a young girl, these strangers weren't sure what to make of their situation. The girl was odd, and the legal battles brutal, but she never faltered, and was quick to reassure them of their security under her home. She was earnest and kind. They loved her immediately.

They grew into a proper family, taking care of the house and one another. This was everything Florencia ever wanted, and she had her demon to thank.

She never would let go of his hand. Day and night, she kept him close, talking to him, squeezing him, always thanking him for everything he gave her.

He was amused by how easy getting a child's adoration was, and would revel in her sincerity, but he always kept a wall around her words. She only liked him now, without her knowing what he was really taking from her. Of course, once he revealed the truth, her tune would change.

More time went on, and the staff already caught on to the demon's presence. While they didn't believe in him at first, they've been proven time and time again that something supernatural was indeed going on. Still, they never were scared by it.

A tipping point came in the form of Clara. For a minute, Florencia let go of her beloved bear to help Marcy plant flowers. He sat alone in the shade and watched, when Clara came and sat beside him. She talked, venting about how great the year had been. She thanked him for it, telling him she was afraid for Florencia at first. But with how happy the child has always been, she could not reason that he was a bad spirit. She was grateful he found her.

This didn't sit well with him.

That night, for the very first time, he felt guilt. He slipped out of the bear and sat in bed, only gazing at Florencia's face.

Remembering all her kind words, and her love and laughter and how she has helped so many people inside and outside the house. She was a beacon, shining to make everyone's lives brighter. And, because of him, she would come to die at an early age.

He cried. He tried. He couldn't take back the years he's consumed from her life. All used as building blocks for his power and gain.

He checked her palm, reading her lines, hoping he was wrong when he first read them. But his eye was trained well.

Three more years. At the age of fourteen, she would be snuffed forever.

And it was all because of him.

~~~~

Dis is all I have so far lolol. In case it's not as clear as I wanted it to be, this demon's love for her is strictly platonic. While my first concept of this story was romantic, as I am a sucker for em, the more I kept thinking it through, the more I prefered keeping their relationship as a little sister and an older brother. He's looked after her and comforted her, and she's willingly dependent on him it.

Also, like in Tearduct Pact, his form changes the more he feeds off her life. He becomes bigger, bulkier. He gets his wings. Im not very satisfied with his form in this comic, so I may change it as a whole too but. Ye lol, I haven't planned his demon form very well.

Das all i can type lol. I. Have. WORK TO DOOOO.

[missbrunettebarbie]

Doctor Who

For the record: I am only at the begining of season 5. I skipped most of season 3 and didn't watch even one episode of season 4. This show kills my joy, but I am too stubborn to quit. At first I stood around to see what Moffat era is about and while it was a vast improvement, it was not imoressive. I am watching for River now and for Clara and when she will show up.

the first character i ever fell in love with: ehhh, I don't love anyone here. Except, maybe, River.

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not: I was much more fonder of Rose in season 1 then in season 2. Even if the season's finale gave me feels.

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not: Rose/The Doctor. Rosenine was a bit better than Roseten.

my ultimate favorite character™: River, but I hope Clara dethrones her, no offence. She and her ship with Twelve is the whole reason I started this show.

prettiest character: Clara, hands down.

my most hated character: The Doctor :))). I cannot stand him.

my OTP: Clara/Twelve based solely on gifsets xDD

my NOTP: I wasn't a fan of Rose/Mickey or even Rose/Ten, but for very different reasons.

favorite episode: The one that introduced the Weeping Angels. Amy was so clever there, the horror element is on point and I saw River for the first time.

saddest death: I don't think there were any permanent deaths.

favorite season: I guess season 5? Season 6 has an arc that I am more interested in, but I haven't seen enough yet.

least favorite season: Season 3, but really, were of them are pretty awful. Why do people like this show?

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: The Doctor. All of them xDD

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: Umm, well, I liked Lady Cassandra.

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: Martha deserved better than her boring seasons/era. I could only watch a few episodes with her, sadly.

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: Ehhh, none? Given spoilers, Amy/Eleven is somehow the closest thing to this, but I am ambivalent to it.

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: River/The Doctor

[tavi-hayes]

practice challenge ~ journey to the palace

((whoopwhoop, idk how i managed to write this (given it’s quite long and i usually never ever write stuff this long) also please excuse me again for any spelling/grammar errors i try. alsoooo thanks to these wonderful girls: Bethia @h-hart​, Kat @clara-choii​ and Pia @brookelynnsanders​!))

It was silent at work today. The only sounds were the flipping of pages and the ticking on keys of a computer, followed by a frustrated sigh occasionally.

“Maybe we should get some more flutes?” I said, “they’re not that expensive and they won’t take up a lot of space here.”

Lola, being distracted by her laptop, showed no sign that she had heard what I just said.

“Helllooo, Lo are you there?”

“Huh, what?” she ran her hands through her hair as she looked my way.

I lifted the catalogue to show her the flute page.

“No Tavi,” Lo leaned her head on the back of the chair, doing the accounts must have tired her. “We already have flutes, and no one is ever interested in them. They have been here for decades.”

I rolled my eyes, “maybe that is why no one is interested. They look grim.”

Lo refocused on her laptop, and I flipped another page of the catalogue.

Oeh, the bass guitars. My favourite part.

I ran my finger over the page, paying a lot of attention to each one.

There were electronic bass guitars, but also the semi-acoustic ones. Some were very modern-looking with the brightest of colours, while others go for more of a vintage look.

I don’t know if I would ever be able to part with my own baby. The bass guitar, that I now owned, had been eyeing me every day since it had arrived in the store. It had been love at first sight.

But it was such a big investment and I just didn’t have that kind of money.

A part of my earnings was needed for us to make a living, pay the rent and do the groceries for example. And the other part that wasn’t needed for that, entered our savings jar.

We had been saving money since the day my dad was put behind bars. For whatever reason those bars had been in St. George. Freaking St. George.

The province didn’t even have direct borders with Denbeigh, Ottaro was right in between.

That made a simple, but still long, car ride impossible. Not taken the problems that come with the snowy climate into account.

That same climate also caused issues for our only transportation option.

Denbeigh’s climate was hard to predict at times. It could be a beautiful day with sunshine and a clear sky, but then you wake up the next morning to a thick layer of snow.

And because those snowfalls could happen in at least 8 out of 12 months, a lot of planes got cancelled in those months. The only airport anywhere near Winnipeg was privately owned. So the owners could literally ask the prices they wanted for the plane tickets. And boy, they were only focussed on making a profit.

For a simple family of Fives, those prices were unpayable. Hence why we had been saving money for 6 years now, still nowhere near able to pay for tickets. My mom would need a ticket, Daniel and I would too, and we just can’t leave little Aria and Arlan. My dad should be allowed to see them as well. That’s means we already need the money for 5 tickets. But if we include Daniel’s family, with his wife and little Melody, then that would equal 7 tickets.

So yeah, I would never have been able to buy that bass guitar.

Until Lo had a brilliant idea. They would give it to me as my birthday present for the upcoming 10 years. At first, I couldn’t accept that kind of gift, knowing it would have been a huge investment for the Wood family as well. But they insisted, hinting that they would get an employee discount anyway since you know Mr Wood owns the place. So, the price dropped, and they ignored me, so I had to give in and accept. It was the best gift I had ever gotten.

The stores door busted open, “GIRLS!” Gina’s voice took me back to earth. “they’re about to do the draw!”

“What draw?” apparently Lo shared my confusion.

Gina rolled her eyes and grabbed Lo’s laptop from the table. “Wait, I was working! Save it, save it!”

The laptop was put right on top of the catalogue I had just been looking through. Lo ushered over as well.

“Let me just,” Gina had opened an internet page and started typing in the website address of Winnipeg’s number one news channel, WTV. Such an original name.

The news anchor, some middle-aged woman with very fake looking blond hair, appeared on screen. “What is she wearing?” Lo asked, disgust and confusion both showing on her face.

“A track suit, it’s part of her image,” Gina unmuted the laptop, the crow-like voice of the woman filling the room, “now shush, I wanna hear this.”

“… Cameron Porter has been selected for the Illéan national ice hockey team. The star of Winnipeg’s very own ice hockey team, the Winnipeg Belugas, will accompany the national team to the world cup, taking place later this year in Saint Petersburg, Russia. Last week’s draw concluded that Illéa will have to face the German Federation and New Asia in the group stage. The national team’s training will start next week.”

Lo and I shared a look, “this is what you wanted to see Gina?”

“Since when do you care about ice hockey?” I asked, this was something new.

“Urgh, you guys are intolerable,” she silenced us with her finger.

“… and now we will switch to the royal palace in Angeles, to watch the live draw for Prince Arin’s Selection.”

The draw, of course that was what had sparked Gina’s interest. For some unknown reason, the entire Selection had slipped from my mind.

Nevertheless, I felt a little flutter in my stomach. Nerves. Looking over to my friends, I noticed the tense looks on both of their faces. Lo’s hands were clasped together, while Gina’s had disappeared in the pockets of her cardigan.

“Welcome,” some weird voice-over called.

With that the camera focussed on the prince.

“Urgh,” I rolled my eyes.

Lo poked me in the side, laughing, “oh Tavi your distaste is showing.”

“I don’t understand how you can hate someone who is that good looking. I mean have you seen that jawline? Perfection.” Gina had had a crush on the prince for as long as I had known her.

I rolled my eyes again, “I don’t hate him.” The drawing began before I had time to explain myself further.

“From Allens … Idalia Moretti.”

“He doesn’t look very happy,” I couldn’t help but comment, “or comfortable.”

Gina sighed probably annoyed that she couldn’t listen to the show properly, “his engagement was called off not that long ago. That is a pretty hard thing to deal with.”

“Yeah, I see, it’s so hard that he’s having a Selection. Shouldn’t he like get over the other girl first?”

My friends ignored me.

“From Angeles … Emily Rose White.”

This thing was going to take forever. I just wanted to look at the catalogue again, not at that prince, “he’s making me feel uncomfortable, just by watching him.”

Again, no response from either of my friends.

I took that as a sign to remain silent, knowing very well my friends wouldn’t reply anyway now that their eyes were locked on the prince.

“From Dakota … Brooke Lynn Sanders.”

Gina let out a breath she was holding, “okay now is Denbeigh,” she took our hands in hers, “fingers crossed it’s one of us.”

Her hand palms were sweaty, she must really want this.

“From Denbeigh … Octavia Hayes.”

We were all silent for a minute. Then Lo started screaming, Gina joining her. “Oh my GOODNESS!”

“Tavi! You’re going to the palace! You’re going to meet the prince!”

“Yeah,” I was absolutely lost for words. Meeting the prince hadn’t been the first thing that came to my mind, hell it hadn’t even been the second or third thing.

The first thing I thought was: I’m one step closer to getting my dad out of prison. I will be in that freaking library day and night looking for the book that is going to help me. There must be something somewhere about a second opinion on a court order, or something else to annul the judge’s decision.

“Ohhh, I’m sooo jealous of you right now. You are going to meet the prince! And there’s a chance he will fall in love with you and you’ll have beautiful babies.” Gina pulled on one of my curls, it bounced up and down as she let go of it.

“Uhm, I think that particular chance can be redeemed to zero.” I bit my lip, not even in my biggest dreams had I imagined my name would be drawn.

“Tavi, listen. I know you only applied for those laws books, but you need to be friendly to the prince if you want to stay,” Lo insisted, “or else you will be eliminated.”

“And I have to interact with him?”

“There are girls who would kill for a chance of even being in one room with him,” Gina took over, she sounded very serious suddenly. “You’ll meet him that’s for sure, and if you actually try you might make it far enough to earn a date. Just at least try to be nice, okay?”

“Just don’t insult him,” Lo added, “or his family, or the country. Okay, don’t insult anyone.”

The way my best friends were looking at me brought me right back to the good old school days. That was exactly the way teachers had looked whenever I had done something naughty. Which had basically been at least once every day.

“Do you promise?” Lo asked when I didn’t respond.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll try not to insult anyone.” I sighed, this is going to be so much harder than I thought.

All of a sudden a lot robot-like voice yelled “BREAKING NEWS”.

It just scared the living shit out of me. We turned as one towards the laptop again.

On the screen was that fake blond woman in her tracksuit again.

“Prince Arin just completed the draw for his very own Selection. Some famous girls will be joining him at the palace. Our very own province will be represented by Octavia Hayes. You might have heard of her, given that she is some meekly Five. But her father’s name will ring a bell. Octavia’s father is Caspar H., a dangerous convict in prison for murdering Winnipeg’s beloved mayor Wilfred Wallis. He might have very well passed the criminal gene onto his daughter. Not only is she definitely not a good representative for Denbeigh, but the lives of the royal family might all be in danger.”

“Damn it!” Stupid news anchor. Why couldn’t they just stay out of my family’s business. Now the entire country will be aware of this. My dad’s arrest did make the headlines of some newspapers when all that had gone down. But that had been 6 years ago and I had hoped no one would remember that.

But now it was out in the open. Again.

It didn’t even matter that my dad was innocent. He had already been suffering for it by being locked up far away from our family.

“Tavi,” Lo put her arms around me, “that’s just bullshit, no such thing as a criminal gene exists.”

Gina joined our hug, “you can’t take anyone seriously who wears a tracksuit on live TV.”

*** Couple of days later ***

Dear dad,

My name got drawn for the Selection, I’m going to the palace and meet the prince. Some palace person is coming to pick me up anytime now so I can’t write a lot. Plus, if the mail has already arrived then you will have to wait another month before you get this anyway.

I asked Daniel if he could start writing a monthly letter as well, maybe he can even add a little picture of Melody so you can see her for the first time. He said he will take care of mom, Aria and Arlan as well. Molly will just cook dinner for more people, which she doesn’t really mind doing. At least that’s what she said.

Anyhow I will write to you from the palace.

Lots of love, 

Octavia

Zohl wzw, R’n hxzivw. Tlrmt gl gsv kzozxv, z dslov mvd vmerilmnvmg dsviv R wlm’g pmld zmblmv. Ovzermt nln, vhkvxrzoob mld gszg rg urmzoob hvvnh orpv hsv’h gibrmt gl orev ztzrm. Zmw dszg droo gsv xlfmgib gsrmp lu nv. Droo R gfim rmgl zm lfgxzhg? Zxxliwrmt gl DGE R’n tlrmt gl hozftsgvi veviblmv rm gsv kzozxv, yvxzfhv lu blfi ‘xirnrmzo tvmvh’. Yfg gsv kvlkov dsl olev blf droo zodzbh yvorvev blfi rmmlxvmxv, vevm ru gsv dslov xlfmgib hvvnh gl gsrmp lgsvidrhv. Qfhg pmld gszg dv nrhh blf wvziob. Zmw R droo gib vevibgsrmt R xzm gl tvg blf ivovzhvw. Qfhgrxv zodzbh kivezroh.

*** At the airport ***

The car journey all the way from Winnipeg to somewhere in Sota had lasted for ages. Even though I hadn’t really been aware of that, since I fell asleep as soon as they closed the doors behind me.  

A frustrated voice had woken me up, “can you please stop drooling all over the leather upholstery?”

My eyes flew open, saliva was indeed smeared on the seat. I quickly wiped it off my face, where it had been present as well. “Sorry,” I mumbled, I then realized we had arrived at the airport, I quickly opened the car door and jumped out.

What I immediately noticed was the rain puddle I had landed in. My shoes and socks were soaking wet. Great.

“Maybe you should try to act more lady-like?” the driver said with a very disapproving tone, looking me up and down. He had already taken my guitar case out of the car and was about to put it right onto the wet street. I quickly grabbed the case out of his hands, clutching it close to my body.

The driver sighed, “there’s the entrance to the airport. Inside it will be clear which directions to follow.”

I made my way towards the entrance he had pointed at when I heard him mumble to himself, “why did I had to drive a barbarian?”

As I turned around, the car’s engine had been running again. I wasn’t sure if he could see me, nor I did I really care. I showed my middle finger to the car anyway. Asshole.

Never had I seen an airport before. It was freaking massive, people walking in all possible directions. Some carrying luggage with them, others with balloons that read “we missed you” or “welcome home”.

One day, my fam and I will be waiting at the airport, carrying one of those dumb balloons around. Coming to pick up dad.

I snapped out of my daydream by someone tapping me on my shoulder. “Miss Hayes, please come with me.”

Nodding, I followed the person not really having another choice since I had no clue which way I had to go. Maybe this is some insane kidnapper.

My heartbeat increased; did I just make a stupid mistake?

“Only one girl has arrived so far. You are to wait for the others before you can board the plane.”

Okay, no insane kidnapper then.

Unless.

This is a complete setup created by his crazy brain.

Panic filled my body, damnit how will I get out of this situation.

Okay, if I just push the person onto the floor, that will give me a chance to run for my life.

One. 

Two.

Three.

I took a deep breath in, ready to make the push. But at the last minute the person side stepped which caused me to lose my balance. He looked at me in a very funny way, “please take a seat, the flight attendant will come get you in a few minutes.”

My cheeks turned very very warm, the redness might very well have equalled the red colour of a traffic light.

Trying to calm myself down, I slumped down into a chair. Yikes, only now became I aware of it again. My socks were still wet and cold. Sigh.

After taking a few deep breaths in and out, I noticed the other girl.

“Oh hey, you’re also a Selected?” I started, realizing it wouldn’t be a bad thing to talk to someone.

She turned towards me, “I am Brooke Lynn Sanders, but just call me Brooke please!”

Not knowing what else to do, I waved at her a little awkwardly. “hi Brooke, nice to meet you. My name is Octavia, but please call me Tavi.”

“Nice to meet you Octavia. Did you have a good journey?” I could already tell she did have the lady-like manners I had been lacking.

Oh god, I couldn’t possibly tell her about the drooling situation, so I decided to stick to a vague answer. “Yeah, it was alright thanks. What about your own journey? Which province are you from?”

“My send off from Dakota was a bit bumpy but I am here now. I wish they would have let me take the train though...”

Another girl arrived, also looking very much like someone the prince could end up with. Compared to these two, I was more of a rag doll.

Pushing my feelings behind that wall deep inside me, I waved her over, “oh yeah hi, please join us.”

We chatted some more for a bit, until Haven arrived.

The way she was walking, the only person I had seen walking like that was Long-Beard Logan, the homeless guy who could often be found near New Wave Records. He walked the same way, but he had one wooden leg.

Then Haven opened her mouth, a weird voice coming out, “hi.”

I noticed Brooke shared my confusion, “uhm hello?”

She took out her phone and typed something, it read ‘I’m Haven’.

My confusion hadn’t ebbed away, “are you alright?”

She typed some more, ‘yup:)) just got a bad cold! what are your names?’.

As a response to that we all introduced ourselves again. These girls didn’t seem to be that bad, hopefully the other Selected at the palace were the same. But the chance of that being true was small. Also, why did I care what the other girls were like? I wasn’t there to make friends, with them or with the prince. I had applied for the thing I needed most. Access to the royal library.

“Have you guys ever been on a plane before? This is all very new to me.” I admitted, trying to ease the nerves that had been building up inside me ever since my name had been picked in that draw.

Brooke had a very strong opinion on planes. Private planes more specifically.

Which came as a shock to me. The private plane part. I didn’t know what I was thinking but taking a private plane had never crossed my mind.

In the meantime, Brooke started talking about the CO2 emissions.

“How else would we get to the palace without having an endless journey? It’s not like there’s a teleportation device, right?” I said a little more vicious than I intended. The higher castes used planes all the time, if anyone had a cause in the destruction of our planet it was definitely them.

Brooke definitely had thought of it all, as she mentioned the outstanding quality of the Illéan train system. Clara chimed in to agree with her.

I decided to not mention my exact thoughts about the higher castes, given the fact that I had promised my friends back home not to insult anyone. So I just nodded my head, “yeah okay I understand your point.”

We were able to board the plane shortly after that. Brooke sat down in a window-seat and Clara nestled herself in the seat next to Brooke’s.

I took a chair on the opposite side of the plane, trying to create some sort of privacy for myself without being rude.

Haven sat down in the seat next to me and smiled at me.

The entry door closed; I could no longer contain my nerves. “Here we go I guess.” I tried to calm my breathing, but it didn’t really help. I tried to think of my family back home in Denbeigh, didn’t help either. I heard my dad’s voice in my head, it was like he was actually talking to me, “You are a strong girl, the flight will be over before you know it. Octavia, you can do this.”

A weird sound whisked my dad’s voice away, I looked over towards the source of the sound. It was Brooke choking on her drink. “Please don’t die,” I said. Her dying here would be a shitty start to this whole adventure. Besides, Brooke actually seemed like a nice person.

She coughed, “I am – I am trying.”

Haven mentioned her sibling, how they were close and stuff. She then asked if we had any siblings ourselves.

This provided me with the perfect distraction. I turned towards her, “yeah, I have three siblings. One older brother, a younger sister and a younger brother as well.”

Normally I would never share such personal information with someone I had just met but talking about them was the distraction I so desperately needed from this whole plane situation.

The others talked some more, but I just realized the one and only thing that would get me through this.

Music.

“If you guys don’t mind, I’m gonna listen to some music.” I said as I took my earphones out of my bag. “Haven would you like to join?” I asked her politely, given that she was sitting right next to me and it would have been quite rude otherwise.

She smiled at me and nodded, so I handed her one of the earphones. “I do have a very mixed taste in music so you’re in for a treat.” Maybe I could even make her listen to our own music, you know casually extending Five Whispers’ audience.

As a reply, Haven winked at me, “I love a girl with mixed music taste.”

Oh who would have thought, I had something in common with another Selected. I too liked people with a diverse music preference, since music says so much about a person. The quote ‘You are what you listen to’ was on one of the walls of New Wave Records music store. It was also my own personal life motto.

Clara and Brooke continued chatting, but I didn’t listen anymore. The music had taken a hold on me and it had only released me from its grip when the plane hit the ground in Angeles.

[sweetserenityrp]

“I’m a dream that died by light of day. Gonna hold up half the sky and say only I own me and I feel my heart beatin’. I feel my heart underneath my skin.”

Dustin YOUNG is thirty-two years old. He/Him is employed as a traveling journalist at Metro Magazine. 

☆ PAST

Most families who could brag about being a part of the town’s history took every opportunity they had to brag about it. There was a certain clout that came along with being part of the fabric of the founding families that made Serenity what it is today. Dustin came from the rare family that appreciated their ties to the small town but had bigger ambitions than the town structure would accommodate. His mother, an accomplished and impressive politician herself, moved to Washington D.C. soon after giving birth to him. Dustin was afforded the top education opportunities and attended private schools throughout the year but he still spent every single summer with his aunt in Serenity. She was the only person in their family who still accepted him and his parents and the choices they’d made to move away and make something different for their lives. He liked the hustle and bustle of the city but there was something special and unique in Serenity that kept him looking forward to spending his summers there.

One of the biggest draws to Serenity for the summer was the longterm relationship he’d struck up with one of the locals, Carla Martinez. She was everything he could have dreamed up in a partner and he maintained his relationship with her even when they were long distance throughout most of high school. Unfortunately, their goals didn’t align the way they’d always thought they would and by senior year of high school, they’d decided to split up and go their separate ways. During his last week of his final summer in Serenity, Dustin was single while he attended the grand send-off party for the graduating seniors. He’d had more than his share to drink and he’d ended up in bed with Kasey Dewitt, a long-time rival of Clara and her friends Kate and Rylee. He thought nothing of the one night stand and as far as he knew, neither did Kasey.

Dustin went to college in San Fransisco and majored in journalism. It wasn’t a school or career his mother’s family was proud of but his parents encouraged him every step of the way. The most surprising aspect of his college life wasn’t the questionable degree he’d chosen to pour himself into though, it was the fact that he and Carla reunited and began dating again. He was positive that this couldn’t happen unless they were meant to be together but life seemed to continue to get in the way. They wanted to go in different directions after college so their relationship shifted into an on again, off again mode once again.

Dustin’s true passion was writing and he believed he could change the world with his words if he wrote about the right things. He worked his way up in Metro Magazine after he graduated from college and his pieces were known for being hard hitting with no holds barred. He was a journalist with integrity and he only reported the truth. Even if the truth hurt a powerful person or business, Dustin saw it as his responsibility to be honest and open on the page. There were periods in his life when he was sure all he needed to be happy was his drive to write and help the world but inevitably there was always something missing. Every so often he and Clara would try to make it work again but each time something seemed to be working against them. Their last argument, their last breakup, surrounded the fact that she wanted a family and children but he thought kids would weigh him down and compromise his ability to be the kind of journalist he wanted to be. He wanted her but he didn’t think he could give her everything she wanted and deserved do he pulled out of the race permanently. Dustin was sure Clara could find what she was looking for in someone else. Someone better.

☆ PRESENT

Dustin’s career now has him traveling the world and reporting on the meaningful stories that he always wanted to cover. He’d left behind the calm and quiet life he was sure he’d have enjoyed in Serenity and was fully immersed in his dream of being a substantial journalist. His articles were featured in national newspapers, his byline was one that people respected. He was in Bangladesh reporting on the heinous working conditions of a factory that sold in bulk to the United States when he got the notification that told him Clara ad her friends were finally opening the spa they’d always talked about opening. He always knew she’d live her dreams when she was able to and now she was there to prove him right. He finished up on location and sent his story into his editor along with a request for time off to visit his home in Serenity.

Dustin travelled back to his aunt’s house in the small town with every intention of congratulating Clara and her friends on accomplishing their dream. He wanted to show his support after all this time feeling invested in the spa himself. He was sure his heart would always skip a beat when his eyes landed on Clara, that much was a given, but the palpitations he got when he saw Kasey Dewitt at the grand opening party, a child around the age one might be after their one and only hook up by her side, were darn near cause for concern. There was no telling whether or not the child was his but the thought that it was possible was enough to make him nervous the entire time he stayed in Serenity.

The Role of Dustin YOUNG is played by HENRY GOLDING and is currently OPEN and this FC is nonnegotiable.

[voidgremlin]

An Oath to hope (Chapter 7)

Chapter 7: the Tortoise’s lesson

Vastra and Jenny walked down the street after a long day at work, holding each other by the hand. They stayed silent for most of the walk home, thoughtful but most importantly dreading about the situation they accepted inside their walls. Precious walls if Vastra had anything to say. Precious walls made from the couple’s hard work, a reputation that made her liked by the police force as they helped each other in different cases. A mutual respect that was appreciated a lot. And now she gave her resources, her work to a charming man who oozed of destructive vibes. It won’t go well and she knows it, who is openly willing to go against conspiracy who obviously is forcing people to hide themselves ? This guy apparently !

Vastra didn’t know what was the weirdest the fact he showed up in her office like a madman, sleeping, eating and hiring her like it was not suspicious. Or was it the fact that presented with the possibility to change identity, he took only thirty minutes to pull off a new identity and new backstory that he handed out like nice written rapport.

Oliver Gupta, comes from Ireland lived most of his life in Australia moved there with his parents when the work asked them to, stayed until coming back there two years ago. Worked for many newspapers under different pen names (he even pulled out a list of pen names if someone asked them as well as a number of place he is visiting usually like coffee shops and library). It was an exhaustive list and it was worrying. He let them as well his address but made them promise to never show up in there or around there unless there’s a life and death scenario. Hinting that getting the obscure entity there would help their case.

“If It happens that they are following you, there’s a chance they will either try to know what you know, kidnapping you in the process and you will never go back to your life that was before. If it is the case you give them my address. You give them where I live and tell them that I am the head of the operation. Work for your liberty. Sell me out.” He demanded with a serious tone

“How do you know that ? It does sound farfetched. ” Oswin asked perking up at the sounds of danger.

“I worked for them, long enough to have access to their inner working, long enough to know that they are not kidding.”  He answered looking to the brown haired woman, who was, weirdly, smiling at the answer. A predatory grin. Vastra knew it wasn’t good news too, seeing him smiling back.

Oh gosh there’s two of them.

Oswin was a short brown haired woman with perfect eyeliner and perfect fashion choice. Clever, always sporting some clothing with red lining as for signaling, like exotic fish, the danger she is looking for or represent, Vastra wasn’t sure what it was. Oswin was only a nickname, a childhood nickname as she explained when she had her first interview with Jenny, asking to only be called as such in the office to let go of Clara Oswald and her life. It was her only requirement when she was hired.

To be honest Vastra didn’t wanted to hire anyone perfectly content with her short team, she didn’t wanted to hire anyone especially not a young widow who seemed to know no end to her daredevil manners but the burnt lady owed one of her friend a favor. That’s how she ended up babysitting this bright and weird woman. She remembers telling him that her office has no therapeutic purpose but he looked at her, pleading to help. To just look out for her.

“Please, she- she needs her space” Her white-haired friend told her. “She needs to figures it out and I cannot help. As much as I want to. I can’t help. Please be kind, do it for her sake.”

“I don’t know her. I don’t care for her. You know this.”

“You do care because you are kind.” He said looking up searching something in her eyes. She held the stare a few moments before nodding.

“If she can’t hold her own weight, I am not taking her in. I do not want any idiot in my team.”

“Thank you.”

“I do not know why you are thanking me dear, I am not taking care of her.”

He still thanked her that day, she thought her jaw grinding a molar, if there’s indeed a mess due to those two teaming up she will show up to her friend house and break his electric guitar. No fuck given.

As they reached the porch of their home, Jenny broke the silence:

“My dear, you worry too much.”

“I am not, in no way, worrying.” She answered in a sharp tone, opening the door for her love.

“You are and you are angry because those people and the things happening are out of your control. You cannot help, nor protect them.”

“Darling-.”

Jenny threw away her coat and started to take away her boots. “You are afraid of the world my dear, always had, and now there’s people you like that might get caught in it.”

“I do not care about those idiots, love, I care about you and I care about Strax once on a full moon.”

“You remember when we received the companion program e-mail ?”

“I- Yes and we decided it was too shifty to accept it.” Vastra remember this day as if it was yesterday, she was still staying at home, doing some meaningless administrative work before receiving this mail. It was so full of legal clauses, the terms of agreement asked to watch over a common friend and all she could think was why ? Why him ? Who wanted to monitor someone so badly ?

After a prompt refusal, she tried to dig and found out who this Susan Foreman was, but nothing. No record, no trace, no one. It was a ghost.

She made an agreement sound. “I am pretty sure that you see as I am seeing the potential connection between an organization that hires people to monitor others and the weird Company our friend O is babbling about.”

Vastra stayed silent taking away slowly her gloves.

“We, at the time, let it go not from a lack of trying. But there’s now proof, that this surveillance thing might be wider that what we thought, a monitoring that target two of our friends, maybe more and yet.” Jenny bite her lips, thoughtful of an alternate scenario where they would have been more in control, finding nothing. “And yet, we are gonna let someone else run wild with this.”

“It might be our only way to understand what is happening.”

“Doesn’t mean we have to like it.”

“No it does not.”

“So what’s the plan then ? Do we warn Alexa and the professor or- ?”

“The plan, I guess is we find out about this O, Ajay or whatever he is called. Find what he knows and if he is trustworthy.”

“He did said to be affiliated with the company, as much as trust can go he gets none from me.” Jenny said in a casual manner.

“I agree, let’s hope we get to know more about this before some irreparable damages is done.”

The word damage made her think about her own scarred face and the burned arm that Jenny had. She thought of the destruction, of the smoke that filled her lungs. She thought of her, Jenny always so stubborn staying with her until the firefighters arrived. With that in mind she walked toward her lovely wife, a hand on her cheek, stroking it. “Promise me you will always be safe.”

“As long as you are my love.”

It wasn’t the answer Vastra wanted, but it was what love is.

The next morning in the office, it was confirmed that the usual quietness of the office disappeared. O invested the place, he was everywhere. Several notebook out, the heavy file he showed them before, spread unto several desk as well as Oswin’s. Who was here, earlier than usual, looking at the man slouching in front of his portable computer, on the floor like a university student who forgot to do their essay.

Oswin was smiling, clearly amused, looking over the file with barely veiled interest. Not looking up, he saluted the ones arriving.

“Hello to the both of you bosses.” Waving a hand. Only Jenny deigned to answer.

“Hello to you the double O ! How long have you been working dears ?”

“I just got there Jenny, enjoying the view on this fine morning.” Oswin said, a hand to her chin. The remark just made the man snickers softly before going back to the work he was doing. “I do not know what he is up to.”

Vastra squinted, looking to the state of the office and Oswin’s disheveled hair and the new man barely closed shirt.

“Oh no.” it is worse than what she expected. Before she could rage about the sanctity of the office and how dare they meddle love affairs into her work, Jenny intervened.

“Well I do wish the lot of you a good day at work.” Dragging Vastra by the arm who whispered swears under her breath.

Ok, I might need to clarify some events, because when the Paternoster darling couple left the office leaving Oswin and Oliver alone, some stuff happened and some stuff I do mean snogging… And some secrets shared. Long story short never let those two alone for 2 hours.

As soon as the original team left, Clara let little time for O to let his guard down, the presence of Vastra being overwhelming with inquisitive stare and silent questioning, O felt like he barely avoided the most of it, wasn’t able to shake away her suspicion but it is a long term work. Like he did before, be sneaky, be kind, be charming, maybe give them coffee in the morning.

Or act like the doe-eyed woman, who lazily played with her hair looking at him with intense interest. She didn’t cared in the slightest of what the other thought of her. She owned the place, or at least her desk, she owned her space, breathed in and out at her own rhythm. The paternoster gang worked in symbiosis, it was quite obvious in fact, they bounced off each other ideas, providing sight for the other’s blind spot. He is a little thankful for Jenny’s intervention earlier in the day, helping him settle with the best end of the deal, better than he could ever dream off. But Oswin. She wasn’t part of this machinery, she was a loose end and he didn’t know why Vastra let her be there.

“How long have you been there ? In the company I mean.” She ask looking at her nails feigning disregard.

He stayed silent for a while wondering if it was simple curiosity or something more, his useless paranoia and anxiety blaring. His stomach twisted to the thought, in her eyes there is a light of acknowledgement, of understanding. He cannot be sure if it was out of goodness or control. He didn’t knew, but he had to play along, he revealed so much didn’t he ? Too tired, he should sleep more it was a box on his mental to-do list, as well as the physical to-do list.

“I stayed uh- years, five at least if not more.”

“So you worked with the shady organization for years and didn’t thought to leave ?”

“It wasn’t shady at first I mean it was always shady but when I first worked here it was… Annoying ? Boring. Was the assistant of an assistant, so low in the payroll. Didn’t even knew why they hired me. And I didn’t know most of their work.” Getting up from his sitting position, moving his arm like he was in a presentation.

“Oh boy, that must have been dreadful, you, an assistant ! I wouldn’t bet you for one.”

“And what would you bet me for ?”

“A eager professor, the kind who would make people really interested in what he says and break the hearts of how so many poor students.”

“Oh !” He looked at her with a smirk.

“That’s our names.” she says doing the motion of finger guns. “So how did you from the low end of the payroll. Get the hold of this top secret mhm- project Theta ?”

He winced at the name, grinding his teeth. He thought he would be alright with it by now but no. The name felt like a sore thumb, the project it accompanied, the idea kept haunting him at night.

“I rose up the rank, broke some hearts in the way to do so," he managed to say with a wink. "but I managed to be there. And one day, a file fell onto my desk, someone caused a lot of trouble and they needed more help. This file was a collection of experiment reports, observations reports and names.”

“How many ?”

“Too many.” He sighed.

“So what did you do with that information ?”

“Learned as much as I can, committed to memory as much names and details. What you have here.” Motioning to the heavy file “Is all of my transcriptions out of memory.”

“Is it the only copy ?”

“No. I am not that stupid but it is a very valuable file.”

She look at him then the file with cloudy eyes, thoughtful. 8 out of 10 chances that lady is part of monitors, the young man thought. Better have your enemy closer, so he proposed.

“Do you want in ?”

“What ?”

“Do you want in ? The investigation I mean. It will be probably dangerous, you will lose some sleep. But damn is it worth it.”

She looked at him, bright smile.

“I mean If there’s bloody danger. I am into it.”

[willidleaway]

Doctor Who, series 12 as a whole

In short: [looks up if the last SW:TCW season will be out on Blu-ray]

Oh hi, didn’t see you come in. I was trying to distract myself from the fact that series 12 of Doctor Who went there.

I mean, the show’s gone up itself a bit, hasn’t it? And I do mean that quite literally. It’s gone upstream in canon and I just don’t know why Chibnall bothered. It’ll teach me to complain about Moffat’s new!Who for taking Doctor-lore so seriously, I suppose, given everything that’s happened now.

Things I liked about series 12: I do feel that with Chibnall as showrunner, each series feels more cohesive in a way that they did not with Moffat, and really not even necessarily with RTD. Plot elements get set up and paid off all throughout the series, and it’s a nice thing to see.

Sacha Dhawan was pretty great to watch, and I rather think maybe his introduction in this series brought out a bit more in Thirteen as well.

Things I can’t say I liked about series 12: just about everything else. This is not equivalent to saying I hated everything else about series 12. But this is me saying that at the end of the day, I found the plotting too exhausting with not enough heart to get me to care much about the story or the characters. The show’s starting to feel like a caricature of itself, in many ways.

In less short: again, I don’t mean to say I disliked everything about series 12 apart from the new Master and the improved cohesion, but I ended up pretty indifferent about much of it, and did start to get a bit irritated by the increasing defiance of ‘show, don’t tell’. But I’m really disheartened by the fact that series 11′s focus on the companions seems to have been just a passing whimsy in the overall picture of Chibnall’s master plan.

But what exactly was the godforsaken point of this master plan anyway? Why bother plotting this series so tightly and cohesively together if the message at its heart is ... basically nothing but a revelation about our protagonist, and one that ultimately (not at first, but ultimately) holds no emotional weight by the protagonist’s own admission? Great, you’ve woven this giant earth-shattering twist into the Doctor Who canon. But is that all that the show is good for? Editing its own lore?

Of course, part of this is that I’m old. (As far as you know.) The show that returned in 2005 is not the show that’s airing now in 2020, and as someone who was sold on new!Who based on the vision it had in RTD’s time, I’m bound to connect less strongly with Chibnall’s vision for the show. This sort of evolution is fine in principle—even necessary—if it’s actually still good television, competent storytelling, with its heart in the right place and an audience that it speaks to. I’ll admit that series 12 is spectacular television in the literal sense of it being a right flashy spectacle of a show—Spyfall should have convinced everyone of that—but is it good? And the serious doubt I have after watching this finale—I had an inkling of a doubt back in episode 3 but by god it’s a serious doubt now—is: is Doctor Who, under Chibnall’s supervision, actually a competent show?

I’ve seen multiple people across subreddits compare this finale to Episode IX of the increasingly incredulous Star Wars saga, and I can’t say I disagree. I’d honestly almost extend the comparison to all of series 12—you have to, in a sense, because the series just functions that cohesively.

And I’d make the comparison a tad favourable to The Rise of Skywalker, actually. There is a case to be made that JJ Abrams, for all his faults and overambitious gambits, was trying to say something beyond just ‘oh Palpatine never died and Snokes grow in jars’ or ‘oh here’s the skinny on Rey’s ridiculously dark past’. I genuinely saw attempts—gestures—at broader messages like ‘you are not alone’ and ‘together we can overcome anything’. I’m not saying these are particularly novel or insightful messages to try and convey, and I’m not saying they were even conveyed that competently. (Episode IX fell into the same more-tell-than-show pit of quicksand that series 12 has found itself in, for one.) But by god there was at least an attempt, whereas I don’t see that here.

If you want a study in contrast, look no further than Moffat’s series 9 finale in comparison to the finale we got tonight. There was an actual character arc! Twelve’s obsession with his ‘duty of care’ bit back on him! He was forced to recognise loss as part of events! Granted, Moffat still pulled his ‘everybody lives’ gambit so Clara only technically died and for all intents and purposes lives a fairly exciting life for many years after we say goodbye to her. But there was an actual emotional resonance that was there!

The point is that Moffat, for all his lovely diversions into past show lore and Time Lord social psychology, never forgot about human relationships and human emotions and how they drove the audience’s investment in new!Who. I mean, sometimes it was played up in a rom-com way (you can take Coupling out of the TV schedules, but never out of Moffat’s writing, I suspect), and there were times when it worked and times when it definitely didn’t work. But it was always there. You could find it. You could see yourself in it, sometimes.

This? What was the point of this? The Doctor is the Timeless Child. It turns out this was a carefully guarded secret known only to the highest echelons of Time Lord society and certainly to the ominously named Division. A large chunk of the Doctor’s life is basically missing, possibly forever.

From a lore point of view: sure, this has massive implications! And Chibnall is at least smart/restrained enough not to spell it all out, and at the end of the day there’s still some mystery—at least, for as long as Chibnall doesn’t proceed to smash that to bits as well in the remainder of his tenure.

But from a storytelling standpoint? Ruth!Doctor even spells it out: ‘have you ever been limited by who you were before?’ The Doctor’s past, ultimately, just doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter to the companions. It doesn’t matter to the Doctor. It doesn’t matter to (I would wager) a large part of Doctor Who’s audience. Chibnall knew this and yet built the whole arc of series 12 around this revelation, which was totally irrelevant to the heart of the show by his own indirect admission.

It doesn’t feel like the sort of thing that you build a 10-episode run around. It feels like something you drop like a mic at the end of a two-parter, and then pick up the pieces of the next time around. In fact, you know, I think series 12 would have been better if we started off with this revelation, giving us time to have any meaningful emotional fallout, some space for it to breathe.

Series 1 had the revelation that Gallifrey was destroyed in the Last Great Time War, but we didn’t build to it. It was given to us near the outset, in episode 2. And new!Who was richer for it, for treating the Time War not as a culmination of some arc, but something that impacted so many subsequent events in the Doctor’s life and by extension in the companions’ lives. The big surprise in series 1 was the Bad Wolf, because it was Rose all along—basically your average Londoner whisked away into extraordinary circumstances and doing extraordinary things. There’s some value in seeing that sort of thing on screen. I don’t find any such value in seeing the Doctor’s past rewritten on screen.

Chibnall, I suspect, overestimates the level of patience everyone else in the world has for tedious lore unfolding, and sees this as only the first half of a grand multi-series plan for reinventing the show. I suspect we will learn that RTD and Moffat were both wiser to attempt no such thing.

[mischiefs-hawk]

Grindelnewt or New Hallows Newt gets hurt/captured/what ever and all hell breaks loose. (followed by fluff)

((I hope you like it Anon!)) ((Also, shout out to @vindsie and @evening-rose-309 for answering my obscure questions

The moment the British Minister for Magic saw Newt Scamander, he decided he had to have the Magizoologist. How could he not? The boy was breath taking, with pale skin dotted with freckles. Minister Fawley wanted to know if his whole body was covered in them.

Despite his position as the most powerful man in the country, he couldn’t get himself alone with the younger Scamander. If Auror Scamander wasn’t at his side, then it was the American Auror on international assignment, or the Muggle or Auror Scamander’s fiancé. He simply could never get Newton by himself.

It was frustrating.

Not long after the mess in Paris, Minister Fawley finally had an opportunity. He refused to wait another moment without the Magizoologist. Fawley wanted him, and he would have him. Even if he was arguably going about it in the wrong way. The amorentia would only be until Newton truly did love him.

It couldn’t be too hard to do? From what he’d heard around the Ministry, the young Scamander loved his beasts and clearly Fawley was much better then them.

Though, the older man thought, when Newton marries me we will have to find him a more suitable profession. Perhaps even just keeping Newton at home all day? Maybe leaving him tied up so he’d be begging for Reynolds to fuck him?

As he finished up brewing the amorentia, the Minister for Magic Fawley had no idea how truly fucked he was.

“I-isn’t it a stupid idea for me to go to a Ministry event when I’m in a relationship with a Dark Lord?”

Newt Scamander was currently being held by Gellert Grindelwald, both of them wondering what the hell had gotten into Albus. Albus had been invited to go to some Ministry event that included members of the IWC as the guests.

“That isn’t widely known though- and” Albus looked away from the two- blushing a bit.

Gellert chuckled, pressing kisses to Newt’s neck

“He wants to show you off. I’ve done it enough around my followers.” The blonde shrugged

“I can’t blame him for that.”

The three of them had not been together very long. After Paris, Newt had been enraged because of Leta’s death. Until the next day when he went to Albus at Hogwarts. The Professor had given him drugged tea and used a hidden portkey to take Newt to Austria.

He’d woken up on a couch in a comfortable warm room, his head was on Albus lap who was gently petting his hair. There was a coffee table about a foot away loaded with a gently steaming teapot and the kinds of biscuits he’d favored in school.

On a loveseat across from the couch Newt’s Niffler was snuggling a pile of shiny gold coins looking much better after he’d been burned. His three babies Luke, Lisette, and Laura were close by playing with a gem that was much too large for them.

For a moment, in his still sleep addled mind, Newt wondered if Albus had taken out his Zouwu, too. That wouldn’t be good, Clara still wasn’t alright with strangers.

He still felt more or less calm until he realized that they weren’t alone in the room. Queenie and Leta were speaking quietly to one another across the room near the wide windows.

“Leta?!” Moving so quickly he practically disapparated to her side, any kind of social anxiety was gone as he embraced his future sister-in-law.

The young woman hugged him back, a small smile on his face.

“What-? I saw Grindelwald kill you.”

The young woman smiled sadly, brushing a stray tear from Newt’s eyes.

“It was a trick; the ministry was going to arrest me and fire Theseus if he didn’t comply.”

Newt gaped at her, but now everything else was slamming down on the Magizoologist too.

Where was he? Why had Albus drugged him? If Queenie was here then-?

The Magizoologist fumbled for his wand and couldn’t find it. Not surprising.

“Newt, it’s okay.” Warm hands- Albus’ led him back to the couch, the Niffler babies scurrying off the chair to hop atop Newt’s lap. Either from the lack of sleep in the past few days or the drug, the redhead didn’t feel too great. His mind felt foggy, and most of his focus was on the Niffler babies. His Niffler could defend itself if need be, but the babies were babies. They needed him- they all needed him. Could Bunty keep a hold of his creatures? Would he die here?

He couldn’t leave Theseus alone!

“Newt, love?”

Attempting to focus back on Albus, Newt looked back at the other’s piercing blue eyes.

“Why?”

The professor sighed, taking one of Newt’s hands and pressing a kiss to his knuckles. He opened his mouth to speak again but was interrupted.

Grindelwald followed by Credence entered the room. The man’s mix-matched eyes looking over Newt in a way that made the younger man feel very uncomfortable.

“Because Albus and I both agree, you belong with us.”

That had resulted in Albus rolling his eyes and scoffing, Queenie and Leta being very displeased and Credence looking as uncomfortable to be there as Newt felt.

It was not the greatest start to a relationship, but as it seemed everything was in Newt’s life it was unusual. Yet, judging by Newt’s comfort in being in Gellert’s embrace months later, it had worked out just fine.

Now, though, Newt wondered why on Earth Albus wanted to show him off. Hell, he didn’t understand it when Gellert did it either.

“And I’ll be in attendance as well” The German murmured, pressing another kiss to Newt’s neck.

“Why? If I probably shouldn’t be there you definitely shouldn’t.”

From his place on the couch, the Hogwarts professor tried not to look as invested as he felt. Gellert had his chance to show Newt off and Albus wanted his turn- to show the political witches and wizards at the IWC how lucky he was to have the most beautiful wizard in the world at his side.

“Regardless, I would never give an opportunity to see you in a dress, as everyone glares at Albus wishing they were him.”

Though neither Gellert or Albus said it, would also be a safety precaution.

Albus had enemies too after all, including Travers who Albus and Gellert felt uncomfortable leaving Newt with.

Little did they know, it wasn’t Travers they had to worry about.

-

The night of the gala, Newt and Albus arrived arm in arm with Gellert hiding in plain sight. Newt and Albus were able to recognize him immediately as a disguised low level Ministry worker.

He winked at Newt who tried not to blush- the whispered comments made by Gellert before he left that night were echoing in Newt’s head.

The slimming black dress had apparently been pleasing to Gellert, judging by his touches and kisses.

Newt hated these kinds of things, all these people? No, thanks. Every now and then when Gellert caught his eye, the german would do something to make Newt smile.

He’d even set a foreign dignity with a wampus coat on fire. Newt may not like violence but the man had it coming.

“Mr. Scamander, how nice to see you again.”

“Uh hello Minister,” Newt wasn’t entirely sure why the Minister of Magic wanted to talk to him of all people but he could get through it until Albus came back. The professor had gotten caught up in a debate of some sort when he’d gone to get them champagne.

The Minister handed him a glass, which Newt already felt awkward about accepting. The Magizoologist was about to take a sip of the light colored liquid, absentmindedly noting that he thought it smelled like Albus’ citrus soap or maybe Gellert’s lavender cologne?

Before the drink touch his lips the glass was shot out of Newt’s hand. It shattered against the marble tile floor- catching everyone’s attention.

Gellert, in disguise, had his wand out and pointed at them. Newt couldn’t recall the last time he’d seen the German look so angry.

Albus was at his side in a moment, an arm wrapped around Newt’s waist.

The Minister was glaring at Gellert, almost as intensely.

“What the blazes do you think you’re doing?”

Gellert pointed at the shattered mess, conjuring a vile and filling it with the champagne. Dropping it in Albus hand, he explained

“I think you’ll find, Professor, that Minister Fawley just attempted to slip Mr. Scamander a Mickey Finn as colloquialism goes.”

Albus sniffed at the vial before nodding, his face grim.

“Amorentia,” he declared earning gasps from the other guests.

A love potion? Why would Fawley would to give him a love potion? He hadn’t even interacted with Fawley that much! A hello every now and then, certainly but not enough to make the other man go to such lengths!

Unless, perhaps, Fawley meant to use him against Albus? Or Gellert? Did he know?

“Auror Scamander, why don’t you take your brother home?”

Newt hadn’t noticed Theseus move by them, either. Too concerned about figuring out why someone would use him for this? He would have done anything under the influence of Amortentia even-

Oh Merlin, he could have-!

“Little one, let’s go home okay?” Theseus gently guided Newt out of the building, followed by Gellert who dropped the disguise after they disapparated back to Theseus home in London. It was slightly more convenient then returning to Nurmengard.

“I could have killed you.” That was the first thing Newt said when Gellert sat him down. Theseus had gone to make him some tea.

Gellert pulled the younger man into his embrace, pressing a gentle kiss to Newt’s temple.

“We never would have let that happen. We protected you, your brother protected you, yes?” The Magizoologist nodded, trying to wipe away the tears before Gellert saw them.

Gellert caught his wrist, moving to kiss away Newt’s tears.

It wasn’t long after Theseus came back with a mug of warm tea, Pickett on his shoulder who let out an excited chirp to return to his tree. Newt let out a pained laugh as the Bowtruckle scurried back up his arm and to his shoulder.

The Auror had gone back to Newt’s flat and picked up the Bowtruckle in attempt to cheer up his little brother.

Not long afterwards Albus arrived, still looking grim as he hugged Newt. The older man practically collapsed in Newt’s arms. The thinner man looked over Albus shoulder at Gellert, his brows furrowed in confusion.

“I’m so sorry, Newt. If I’d known he would have tried that I never would have asked you to come with me.”

Something akin to understanding came over Gellert’s face. Gellert and Newt maneuvered Albus so all three of them were hugging one another.

Despite Abus’ regret and fear that Newt could have been put in danger- that his arrogance and lust for power had put someone he cared about in danger again, despite Newt’s anxiety that not only could he have hurt his boyfriends he could have left his creatures to die without his care- really, despite it all they still had one another.

It wasn’t perfect, and Albus and Gellert were broken but it was still good.

As Theseus watched the three of them interact, he couldn’t help but admit it. If only to himself, Newt had never met a monster he couldn’t love.

[prixmiumcontent]

Doctor Who Introduction Post

Hello #Doctor Who! My “name” is Prix, and I am about to embark on a re-watch of Doctor Who during which I will be writing reviews and other such commentary on this new meta blog. Please see the links and pages around the blog for more information if you are interested. Before I get started, I wanted to take a few moments to articulate why I am writing about Doctor Who, how I feel about it, and why I decided to start with it here even though I plan to write about it and many other fandoms.

The Present

At the time of writing this, I am 27 years old. I am a school teacher, but I am currently without a full-time position. Given that I have a little bit of time on my hands, I really wanted to work on my sustained writing-for-pleasure skills, and this blog seemed like a good way to do it. I have a personal blog, which I will follow from if I follow you back, but this is a fresh start for a more disciplined approach to running an actual-blog rather than a big mess of blogging, reblogging, and flailing. Doctor Who continues to be one of those things that always draws me back in. However, over the past couple of years, I have not been quite as on top of it as I once was. Letting go of Clara Oswald has proved to be very difficult for me, so while I like Bill - and the other companions I have seen - I have not seen all of S10. As a result, I haven’t even started on S11. However, I hope to very soon! While I am embarking on a full re-watch of Doctor Who (2005), I won’t necessarily prevent myself from catching up on everything I’m missing before I finish this up.

The Past

I was an avid internet user from the time I was about twelve years old. I was home-schooled for a time, and so much of my interaction with the outside world came through meeting people to talk to through AIM (may she rest in peace.) One of those people that I befriended (and have since unbefriended) was a young man five years my senior with a lot of chronic health problems. Given our mutual circumstances, for the good years of our relationship, we were able to find time to talk to each other despite a five-hour time difference. He lived in England, and I was so young that the concept of world geography was something well beyond my grasp as an American. Nevertheless, I had an adolescence very colored by a sort of cultural exchange with this friend of mine whom I much respected and wanted to please. I dimly remember his first mentions of Doctor Who being revived and his confusing explanations of what it was registering as a simple footnote in our conversations. It was something he watched on Saturdays. For a while, that was that.

Fast forward to the end of 2006. Due to various circumstances including my grandmother’s having a stroke and my parents’ mutual concern that as math and science courses became more difficult that a home-schooling curriculum wouldn’t cut it from them, I returned to public school. I was fifteen, and I was tagging along behind my peers who had been new students to high school the previous year. This new-to-everything, fish-out-of-water experience left me vulnerable to a certain individual whom I wish I had never met but who has shaped much of who I am today. I was in a relationship with him for a couple of months, during which I was emotionally abused and coerced in ways that I won’t go into detail about. The only part that is relevant is that this relationship really shook my ability to trust in people to the core. I was a different person from August to December and one who felt hollowed-out at that.

It was a relief to finally be on Winter Break, if only to get away from the presence of my then-ex who continued to follow and harass me while I was at school. However, the experiences of the past couple of months had taken the joy out of most of what I had been doing. I had been loosely into online fandom since about 2003, but I had never really learned the tools of the trade, and it was just a matter of happening upon people with similar interests through word-of-mouth and a few fanfiction.net-made contacts. I was still talking to my English friend online when I could.

Then, one day, I was feeling very depressed and lethargic. I took a break from vacuuming the house, and I turned on the television. I dully watched the scrolling TV Guide Channel, and I noticed that the SciFi Channel (it wasn’t SyFy at this point) was running a marathon of Doctor Who. Curiously, I changed the channel.

I watched “The Idiot’s Lantern,” an episode from Series 2, with no context whatsoever. I was confused and mildly intrigued. More than anything, I wanted to tell my English friend that I had finally seen an episode. He did his best to explain the show to me a bit better, and later that day I found myself tempted to tune back in.

In the days that intervened between that day and Christmas Day, the channel played at least several hours of Doctor Who episodes per day. They were marathoning Series 2, and on Christmas Day itself, they were going to play “The Christmas Invasion” - the Christmas Special spanning the gap between Series 1 and Series 2. I was supposed to go to my grandmother’s, but I made  a point to note what times they were showing it. I was invested already, and soon I had seen “Doomsday” and knew that my heart was going to break no matter what but that I wanted to know more and more about this show.

I remember going to my room after returning from my grandmother’s that day. I know that I had been showing signs of my depression and lethargy, and while my parents didn’t know the full extent of the damage my brief foray into trying to be “in a relationship” as a high school student had gone, they were most certainly concerned about me.

My mom and dad were in the living room visiting with someone - it was Christmas - and I remember feeling a sudden rush of energy and resolve come over me that I had not felt in a long time. My relationship with fandom may not be the healthiest that has ever been, but I don’t think that it is a bad thing either. I have always been one to fixate, to have maladaptive daydreams about those things I love, and to feel a rush of endorphins when I find something new to add to my collection of beloved stories. I fall in love with my fandoms, and they’re my friends.

That hadn’t been true for months at that point, though, and Doctor Who breathed new life into my teenage bones when I was - justified or not - dangling by a thread. The particular scene that burned itself into my consciousness was Ten’s speech to the Sycorax - “It is defended.” I’m not even sure why, but it kind of gave me a little bit of a kick in the butt to get back up, to try, and to feel something again.

I often tell people that Doctor Who saved my life, and that’s how. It gave me a friend when I felt like I had none. It gave me energy, purpose, and a reminder that even when things are difficult and it feels like there is no reward for the things one tries to do because they feel like the right thing, there still is a point to it. I consumed Series 2 in order as quickly as I could; I was a poor teenager and wanted to make sure that I got the series i had fallen in love with before deciding on more. Then, I manage to get Series 1 and watched them back to back. At the time, it was nowhere near as popular in the US as it became later, so I paid $60-70 per season at the time. I never did get past Series 2 on DVD as a result. Maybe one day I’ll buy a huge boxed set, but for now I make do with streaming on Amazon Prime for the most part.

I hope that this personal glimpse into my past will give you some kind of connection to me as a writer and that you will understand how much Doctor Who means to me as a show.

The Future

I plan to watch an episode or two most days for the foreseeable future and to write a post and create at least one edit per episode that I watch. I hope to queue them after the first couple so I can have a consistently active blog. Please feel free to interact with me! I follow back from my personal blog (currently polyroci), but I am very interested in interacting with people about this and other fandoms that are dear to my heart.

[calliecat93]

ST: TNG S5 Watchthrough Episodes 22-25

Imaginary Friend: An officer is concerned about his daughter, Clara, having an imaginary friend as he worries that she’s not making real friends. Troi assures him that it’s not an issue and perfectly innocent and will fade as she settles and makes real friends… except her friend Isabella isn’t quite as imaginary as everyone believes. Or at least she was imaginary… until a ball of light alien got on board and took up becoming Isabella. What is it with this show and alien balls of light that causes problems?! So when I read the description, I was expecting to dislike it going off the summary alone. Like I said with Hero Worship, this feels more like an episode you’d see in a children's show. Which things go exactly as I’d expect in this kind of episode, the not-to-imaginary-friend causes problems that get the other kid into trouble and wreaks havoc. Kinda like that one Powerpuff Girls episode Imaginary Fiend, only we get to see the imaginary friend she she is far creepier than Patches was. I just feel bad for Clara. She’s a sweet little girl who's both lonely and due to Isabella getting them into trouble or made to do things she otherwise wouldn’t do. Isabella comes off as one of those toxic friends who bullies and pressures the others into doing things they know they shouldn’t do and oh golly is that relatable no matter the age. This episode is just cute. Not overly-so, we still have the Problem of the Week courtsey of Isabella, but still they managed to make what would otherwise be a childish or horrifying episode depending on how they played it into something cute without overdoing it. I can imagine this being a good one for adult ST fans to watch with their young kids. It made me think back to when I was that age for sure. I was very much the kind of kid who tried to listen to my parents/grown-ups, but it didn’t alway work out and I did get shifted around to different schools for a bit (finally settled on one by First Grade) so I could relate to Clara on that level. Like I said, just a nice, easy to watch episode and one that I think kid viewers can relate to. 3/5.

I Borg: Yep folks, we’re finally checking in on the Borg again. So here’s a scenario: as we know, the Borg are all part of one collective hive mind, tight? Well… what happens when one becomes seperate from that collective? Well in this episode, the crew find one of the Borg on an Away Mission who had crashed onto a planet. While pretty much everyone else wants to leave him as dead, Crusher refuses and has him brought onto the ship for treatment with Geordi assigned to observe him. Needless to say, as this is the first showing on the Borg since The Best of Both Worlds, the effects of that episode still run deep. Picard is still traumatized and haunted by what the Borg did to him and while he tries to keep it internalized, he’s… not handeling having a Borg on board well. Thia includes making a plan to essentially infect the Bog an send him to poison the entire collecive. Yep, Picard is planning genocide with Crusher being the only one against this plan, though Geordi later sides with her. Even Guinan is all for it. It’s understandable due to what happened to Picard and the viewpoint that the Borg are essetially mindless drones… but Dear Lord that’s messed up. This does allow some more exploration for the Borg. As it turns out the one they rescued is named Hugh, and he’s actually not a bad guy at all. He’s a very curious, almost child-like being and as Crusher and Geordi interact with him, it’s clear that he’s formed a sense of individuality to the point of not wanting to rejoin the collective. He’s not even being malicious with the asimilation threats, he legit doesn’t realize that it’s a bad thing, and is open to explaining how things work and let them examine his parts.

This was an excellent episode. I’ve been wondering if they’d show the Borg again, and not only did they but they took a fantastic approach. The themes of individuality, assimilation, and humanity are very well done. While I morally disagree with Picard’s plan, I fully understand why he feels that way and not even just due to trauma. The Borg will keep assimilating and assimilating until nothin is left… but is it right for us to eradicate them? Hugh shows that they can develop the concept of individuality and as the others interact with him, they find that they can’t go through with it. Even Picard, when acting as Locoutus to test Hugh, finds that indeed he can’t go through with it. Which makes the ending even sadder when Hugh chooses to go back to not endanger the Enterprise. There’s a brief hint that he retained his individuality as he’s taken away while Geordi watches… but it’s still just so sad. Hugh is great and he hdeserved better dang it! But yeah, I really enjoyed this one. In fact, it may be late in the seaosn, but I think that we finally got one deserving of a perfect score~! Yay~!!! 5/5.

The Next Phase: When assisting a damaged Romulan vessel, Geordi and Ro get lost during transport. Well… now you see why McCoy and Pulaski hated the things. They are assumed dead… but of course one of the mains and a regular reccuring character aren’t going to be offed like that unless their name is Tasha Yar. They’re alive, but to put it simply, they’re ghosts. They can see everyone else, but no one can see them nor can they physically interact with anything except each other. I guess this is what Kirk was going through from his POV in The Tholian Web XD Ro is convinced that they’re legit dead while Geordi thinks that something else is going on. There’s some really nice, somber moments here. Data askin to conduct the memorial service, Ro thanking Picard even if he can’t see/hear her, Data and Worf discussing how best to present the service and Data talking about how Geordi accepted him… it’s some really nice stuff here. Ro’s reactiont o Riker wanting to do a eulogy for her was also amusing XD Anyways, I don’t understand the science behind what happened, but it was fun to see Geordi and Ro work together and piece it all together. The fight between Ro and te bad guy was also cool and also hilarious. You’d have to see it to get why XD But yeah, another solid episode with a fun plot, nice character moments, and a cool dynamic with Ro and Geordi. Also Data’s way of conducitng a memorial service and Ro and Geordi’s respective reactions? Perfect. 4/5.

The Inner Light: Picard passes out… and wakes up with his wife concerning leaning over him. Picard is now Kamin and he is in a village where everyone seems to know who he is. He’s understandably confused but goes along with it, and it soon becomes normal life for him. We all know Picard by now. He’s serious, focused, diplomatic, and married to his job. He gave up any chance at a normal, domestic life when he signed up for Starfleet and he never looked back. In this episode, he is given the chance to have that life. He clings to his Starfleet ambitions at first… but he ends up investing in this new life. He has a wife. He had children. He’s part of a pretty tight-knit community. Picard gets the life that he claimed that he never wanted, and finds that maybe that’s not quite true. To the Enterprise, whose left with Picard’s unconscious body, it’s mere moments. For Picard? It’s for 30 years. He even goes through having grandchildren for goodness sake! It’s an interesting episode with some strong emotional moments, such as Picard’s wife dying and the ending of the episode. It’s one of Patrick Stewart’s best performances for sure, and that’s saying a lot! Mind you… considering that it isn’t real it kinda muddies the impact up a bit and the probe putting Picard through that while I understand the reason… is pretty shitty. Did Picard REALLY need a second mass trauma?! Though I supposed it was very much real to Picard. How do you go back to life as it was after that? He’ll certainly carry the memory of those people forever, as the ending signifies. God that ending… I was doing alright until then, and that’s when I finally started tearing up. One heck of an episode for sure. 4/5.

Alright folks one more episode to go along with the S6 premiere and S5 will be done~! We’re so close to finally finishing the series~! Yay for accomplishment~!!!

[mrlsmckinnon]

              thirty    +     waitress     +      istp       +      scorpio

sparknotes: always looks like she has 99 problems and ur face is def 1, jumps to conclusions faster than the speed of light, gets possessive af, thinks cleaning dishes is probably the worst job in the world, would live on ham and cheese toasties if she could, obsessively (read: angrily) cleans when she’s frustrated, makes at least 5 bad decisions every day, would honestly throttle her sister if she could get away with it, hates christmas (soz), can never finish a song/book/tv show/movie - she always changes it halfway through, actually cries when she sees spiders, wears such tight clothes that it’s a surprise she hasn’t been sewn into them a la olivia newton john + her sandy pants. 

tw: v. vague reference to abuse and alcoholism + mentions of miscarriage. 

clara was born in mexico to santanna alvera and carlito castilla - she lived there for all of five minutes before her parents relocated to florida. and by “relocated” she means “up and ran away” because her mom was from a pretty well-to-do family and her dad was some poor businessman on the way up.  

they lived pretty happily for a while: her dad invested in nightclubs and they were somehow a hit so the cash started to roll in. her mom was pretty happy to sit by the pool and drink margaritas, and her dad was always off on business trips to austin to “expand the business” 

more like “expand the family” because it turned out that he’d been having an affair out there with some woman, got her knocked up, and had another daughter. santanna called him all the names under the sun and demanded a divorce... which, by that point, carlito was more than happy to give her. so, they divorced and carlito moved to magnolia, and clara stayed with her mom in florida - going to stay with her dad and his new family every summer. 

it was hell, honestly. whilst chloe - her dad’s other daughter - was the apple of his damn eye, clara was like some reminder of the family he’d tried his damned hardest to leave behind. the only reason clara went to stay with him was because her mom “needed a break” aka a few months where she could get as drunk as she liked without having to worry about her daughter. but, you know, clara just sucked it up. as much as she kind of hated her dad’s new wife and... hated magnolia too... she quite liked having a sister, and she decided it was her job to try and “protect” her from... everything, basically. clara tried to tell her mom once and she got brushed off, so she decided not to try that again. 

her real saving grace came in the form of dean callahan - just melted her cold little heart, didn’t he? ironic, really, seeing as he was just as messed up and miserable as her... but there you go. she’d spend her summers with him and things never felt so bad. 

then, when chloe decided she wanted to use the money their dad’d given her to open up a bar in mexico... clara decided, why not? and... off they went to cancun to open up a seafront bar. it was heaven, honestly. and then chloe decided she wanted to marry some scum of the earth idiot and clara had no choice but to drag her kicking and screaming back to magnolia.

she quickly fell back into her life, her and dean ended up together - even managed to get themselves together enough to get engaged - and things seemed like they were finally okay. then she found out she was pregnant, a month or so later miscarried... and her and dean basically fell apart at the seams. one crossed-wires kiss with someone else and dean packed up his things and left. 

so clara’s been picking up the pieces and trying to get on with this like always but she’s gd miserable and gd angry all the time. her bad. 

needs: she might seem angry and hostile 99% of the time but she’s actually got such a bleeding heart underneath it all. she’s a good friend; probably not the one who you go to, to feel sorry for yourself but if you need advice or someone to fuck shit up with you, she’s your girl. so a group of friends???? also the guy she basically had an emotional affair with after she lost her baby pls!!!!