#but goddamn what an ultimate fucking mindfuck

[pusangkambing]

I must say, this is genuinely so much more interesting than sleeper agent cellbit, atleast to me, and also shows full force just how far the federation would go to manipulate and use someone. There's no way they didnt understand that Cellbit was doing this to escape the island. Everything he worked for, he worked for to find answers, to protect his son, to get them the hell out of there.

What a goddamn way to crush a man's soul, taking something he loves doing fooling him into thinking it's for the right cause, only to brutally reveal that it has been used against him this entire time

[avissapiens]

Prize Bull- Bodybuilding hypnosis.

Take that bull yearning in your soul to a new level. Become more than just muscle. More than the perfect bull. Be a paragon of obsession and addiction. Strength and size. The most dedicated. The most muscular. The Ultimate expression of that lust for growth. Taking it and letting it push you to new heights. Competing and winning for the abyss. Grade-A beef cultivated through corruption. The perfect prize bull with no restrictions to the dream or the lifestyle.

Testimonials

"Listening to Prize Bull made me grunt and groan as i felt the Abyss play with my roided bull cock, making my muscles pulse with raw hunger and power.

Felt my cock drippin precum and instinctively started stroking as the file did what I knew it would: making me more of a mindless fucking monster who knows the ultimate truth that muscle is all that fuckin matters.

Saying the Abyss was mindfucking me would be true for someone who isnt used to being part of it. For me, this file took that primal muscle bull connection that the Abyss has been building thanks to the other files to a whole new fucking level.

I will be full of every single fucking roid on the planet, destroy my fucking muscles so they can grow, fucking eat myself sick so i can be that fucking inhuman monsterous prize bull. If you want to truly commit to The Abyss and feel those tendrills destroy you and breed that addictive corruption into you, so you can be reborn through indescribable euphoria into a prized bull of the Abyss, this is the fucking file for you." - Beastbull (Discord) 12/07/23

"I haven't been active in the server for a bit but I just listened to Prize Bull for the third time and my response was so goddamn intense.

I felt the growth and the tendrils on an incredibly deep level. When the tendrils began going down my throat I literally began gagging and gulping it down greedily while under and felt the corruption be fed into me

I listened to it before my Pull Day and I immediately felt like I HAD to go lift. My life depended on getting a good pump in and I'm even lifting better than I did last time on an exponential level" Ansreth(Discord) 18/08/23

And If you want to support the creation of more hypnotic experiences that you know you can trust, then you can do so by subscribing to my Patreon, or to my Youtube channel. And if you want to interact more closely with me and my supportive community you can join my Discord server.

[imtheperfectvoid]

So I’ve been REALLY fixated on Danganronpa the last few weeks (replayed the last two games and recently finished DRV3 as well) and I realized I have many many thoughts about certain characters and their respective arcs/stories/behaviors/etc. and bc I enjoy shouting my thoughts into The Void That Is The Internet I’m just gonna mash em into one post and send it out to sea. Spoilers for DR1, SDR2, and DRV3 under the cut (and sorry, it gets looooooong)

DR1:

My biggest thought I’ve had is that, over time, I’ve slowly begun to realize that I just... don’t like Kyoko as much as I thought I did. Like, when I first played the game back a couple years ago, I thought she was pretty alright. Not a favorite, but perfectly fine. However, after replaying recently, I kinda realized she just... rubs me the wrong way? I guess? Like, I understand why she is the way she is, but she just constantly comes across as being so abrasive and distant and mildly unwelcoming. Byakuya is the same way, though - hell, he’s even more abrasive and unwelcoming - but I enjoy his character more. I couldn’t figure out why until it hit me about nearish the last chapter; it’s because Kyoko switched gears and started opening up to Makoto in a way that just didn’t feel natural or earned, y’know? Byakuya was an absolute shitheel, through and through, but his character shift (as small and hardly noticeable as it was) still made sense because he came to realize that him neglecting the feelings and thought processes of others can really bite him in the ass (a la Sakura’s trial) and he starts to cooperate a bit more with everyone. Kyoko, on the other hand, just kinda... decided to open up to Makoto a bit too fast for not really any clear, distinctive reason. Maybe I glossed over it? Maybe I just didn’t read deep enough into her lines or take enough interest in her Free Time events? I don’t know. All I know is this: Kyoko’s character development in terms of her connection with Makoto and the others felt too forced and disingenuous overall, like it lacked sincerity.

I enjoy Hagakure. Like, people seem to generally find him irritatingly dumb, which I get, but honestly? Sometimes his shit is just so wild that I can’t help but enjoy it.

Same with why I like Byakuya so much. He’s a dick, but he’s pretty entertaining to watch and listen to, especially when he’s thrown off guard. That shit’s the best.

I have no idea why but... I also would’ve liked to learn more about Ishimaru? He just seemed fascinating to me, especially in his Free Time events when you learn about his family and his history of harassment and whatnot

Junko being the mastermind was really unexpected and I enjoyed that twist a lot. I did not see it coming when I first played, and the small clues they left throughout the game pointing to her were very clever!

This first game will forever be iconic in many ways, but it is sadly my least favorite of the trilogy only because they just kept getting better

SDR2

*slams fists on table* I! WANT! MORE! GUNDAM! TANAKA! (I am fully aware that he was given quite a decent amount of development, both throughout the story as well as in Free Time events, but god, I don’t know what it is but I just fucking love this guy)

People seem surprisingly divided on Kazuichi??? Which is understandable but I liked him plenty. Sure, his thing with Sonia was a bit... much... but aside from that, he’s pretty enjoyable and funny. Like Hagakure, but less dumb, I suppose.

Honestly??? I wish the blackened in chapter 4 had been Sonia- please hear me out on this one. By no means do I dislike Sonia - she’s great, I love her! - HOWEVER, I think this could’ve led to a lot more interesting development for everyone. Imagine the insanity of realizing Nekomaru, a giant, strong, agile, keen robot who couldn’t even be killed by a bazooka to the chest being killed by Sonia goddamn Nevermind. That would be a mindfuck and a half (granted, they’d have to do some serious explaining on how she’d have done it. I don’t doubt she’d take on the Final Dead Room, though - she seems plenty capable of challenging that tbh). Not only that, giving her the same motive Gundam had is just as fitting and sad enough to boot - she’s the Ultimate Princess, of course she’d want to motivate everyone and use her influence to keep their morale up in such a seemingly hopeless situation, right? Hearing her post-vote explanation for why she did it would be heartbreaking. And possibly my biggest reason for wanting Sonia to be the blackened? Imagine Gundam and Souda after her execution. Now wouldn’t that just be a moment of despair? Gundam, likely, would be very steely and unflinching on the outside, probably saying something about how “the Dark Queen no doubt knew this was her moment to take flight from this world and prevent you mortals from abandoning the lives you’ve been so fortuitously bestowed” or whatever, but god, I genuinely feel like he’d be torn up about it inside (I should add: I’m not a sondam shipper, by any means - I don’t ship Gundam with anyone - I just like the idea that Gundam is so unaccustomed to kind gestures and compliments that he just gets nervous about them coming from literally anyone (like with Hajime in Free Time events)). And Souda???? He would either try to play it tough or he would be a fucking wreck. And as much as I like Souda, I’d love to see how he carries through the rest of the game after Sonia’s execution.

Komaeda is vastly overrated. Like, don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy his character - I think he’s complex and interesting and his batshit insanity is goddamn hilarious at points, but he’s waaaaay too overhyped. Bouncing off this thought, I also feel like his character went through a lot of ups and downs in terms of enjoyability. Like, first trial? Very enjoyable - we learn he’s fuckin cuckoo for Hope Puffs and it’s great but also awful but also great. Fifth trial? We see how far he’s truly willing to go to fuck with others and bring despair so that hope can shine through, and it’s fascinating. There are other times, though, where he’s just... annoying. Not really adding anything new and just babbling about hope and despair and saying the same tired shit again and again. But what makes him a neat character is that he’s at least fun to hate. Granted, not all the time, but most of the time, yeah, it’s fun to hate this guy. Getting frustrated at how he holds back information crucial to a case or how he turns his nose up at those he thinks are below him - it’s done in a way that I at least don’t get annoyed by hating him, and I have a good time doing so.

Y’know who’s not fun to hate, though? Saionji. I fuckin hate Saionji. I honestly do. Nothing fun about hating her. Nothing fun about her at all.

I am fascinated by Twogami/Imposter’s story and character as a whole. I would love to know even more about them.

Junko being brought back again was a bit... much, yeah, I’ll agree - I as a bit disappointed that they just made her the Big Bad again, but honestly? The whole Izuru Kamukura twist made up for it. Same goes for the simulation twist; yeah, had it just been “it was all a game!! nothing really happened!! your friends are fine and monokuma ain’t real lmao”, that would’ve been real shitty, BUT by making them all Remnants of Despair, leaving the dead people most likely dead (though it’s implied that they can actually wake up, it’s just unlikely), and making Hajime technically the mastermind behind this killing game, it became a really good twist ending.

This game had some bomb-ass music, especially with the 8-bit mixes and stuff. V v good

FUCK (IMPROVED) HANGMAN’S GAMBIT. “””IMPROVED””” MY ASS. YOU RUINED A PERFECTLY GOOD GAME MECHANIC IS WHAT YOU DID. LOOK AT IT - IT’S GOT UNFAIR PLAYABILITY

This game used to be my favorite of the installments, but then... but then...

DRV3

Yup. This game’s my favorite. It’s got the best overall cast (but I’ll give SDR2 credit for having my favorite character of the whole series - my sweet boy Gundam), best music, best debate game mechanics, AND best post-game content.

GONTA GOKUHARA IS A BIG FRIEND WHOMST I LOVE VERY MUCH

A lot of people seem to be divided on how the protag switch from Kaede to Shuichi was either good or bad. Personally? I liked it. Yeah, it would’ve been really cool to have a female protag for a change, but Kaede felt too... complete, I guess? She felt like a very self-realized, confident character. While yeah, that would also be cool to see, having a very confident, strong character as the protag from the get-go, I like seeing a protag go through something like this starting out weak or unrealized and coming out on top with more of a complete character than they started with. I love Kaede, and I love Shuichi. I thought the protag switch was acceptable.

People also seem to be divided on how they feel about Ouma. And by “divided” I mean a lot of people love him a lot and some people hate him a lot. I really liked Ouma’s character a lot. I don’t like Ouma as a person - God, Christ, I do not like Ouma as a person - but his character was absolutely fascinating to me. Having a character being the total embodiment of a lie was so interesting, especially in a situation where truths and lies can gravely affect the outcome of a vote. And much like Komaeda, he was enjoyable to hate, but to an even greater extent. So many moments with Ouma were fucking hysterical. He’s got some of the best lines (”Stop making such dumbass comments and keep your smelly breath in your dirty mouth” still cracks me up with the delivery he gives for it. Also any time he yells and his voice does the screechy thing is fuckin great) and his sprites are a goddamn trip (his creepy smile sprite that just keeps getting creepier over time???). There’s a lot I can say about Ouma but I’ll just keep it at that. I don’t love him by any means, but I greatly enjoy watching him throughout the game.

People are also very divided on the ending. I loved it. I love when shit gets so meta that it blows me outta the water. And it’s really easy to fuck up a metagame ending like that, but I don’t think DRV3 did (well, I’m a bit let down by the post-credits bit - kinda would’ve preferred for it to just cut off where it did before the credits - but even that wasn’t enough to really detract me) I even liked the twist of the mastermind (even though I definitely had my suspicions solely bc Tsumugi was just too boring, and Danganronpa wouldn’t make such a nothing character for no reason, even if being plain and boring was literally her character trait, y’know what I mean?)

I’m gonna be real upfront about this - I really liked Korekiyo at first and am subsequently really disappointed with how they chose to develop his character. Granted, the whole “I’ve killed nearly 100 women in order to appease my dead sister whom I was supposedly in an incestuous relationship with and is also a tulpa in my own mind who speaks through me sometimes” was definitely something that threw me for a loop and a half and was a surprising twist, but “surprising” doesn’t equate to “good”, not in this case. See, I loved the mysterious and creepy vibes Korekiyo gave off - doing his Free Time events, I saw how intelligent and composed and fascinating he was to interact with. His views on humanity, his views on a lot of things, were just so interesting. I wanted to see more into him, see what more he had to offer, and I thought we’d get something like that in chapter 3 when we unlocked his research lab, and I was really looking forward to it. When they threw that twist out there, I was... really let down. Making him something that was just so objectively vile and inhumane seemed unfair and not as interesting as it could’ve been. I was expecting him to be more Gundam-like (looks like they’d kill you but is actually pretty nice and likely would not kill you) or maybe even slightly Komaeda-like (his obsession with the beauty of humanity drives him to say and do some weird shit, which ended up being kind of true, but not to the extent I was expecting) Kiyo’s development felt too over-the-top, too, in that sense; like, it wasn’t enough that he’d killed nearly 100 women - he also had to have a tulpa who was his sister that encouraged him to do these things, and he also had to be in an incestuous relationship with said sister when she was still living. That’s just... a lot. Like, waaay too much. Had they thrown that out, kept his weird shtick about how “humanity is beautiful, even when ugly” and all his other overall strangeness, I think he could’ve had a far more compelling backstory and character arc. Honestly, maybe get rid of the serial killer bit, get rid of the incest, and he becomes more interesting while still being a character who eventually kills someone for the wrong reasons (i.e. maybe to see “the beauty of a life leaving its physical body” or something, not for his own survival or escape). Hell, maybe even keep the tulpa to give a twist on his story that focuses on how he’s unhealthily coped with his sister’s death. Maybe his sister tells him to do these things but he doesn’t listen to her and tries to avoid causing harm to others and block her out. Or maybe she’s more rational. Or maybe it’s not a tulpa and Korekiyo knows she’s not really with him but he pretends to help himself cope. Any of these would’ve been interesting to delve into (albeit assuming they’re done properly, as well). I didn’t anticipate to linger on this for so long but goddammit, I really wanted a cool character out of Korekiyo and was cheated out of it and it really disappointed me.

(also some people like korekiyo way too much and it frightens me)

(same with ouma like guys c’mon)

But on the bright side, I do love me some good “seesaw” memes

I’m also amazed at how there wasn’t a single character in this game that I didn’t enjoy to some degree. DR1 had Kyoko, Hifumi, and Celeste whom I never ended up feeling very strongly for one way or the other (though Celeste freaking tf out in the 3rd trial is always enjoyable to watch), SDR2 had Saionji and also had Mahiru and Akane who were kinda “meh” for me. But DRV3? Yeah, Angie got pretty annoying in chapter 3, and yeah, I can see in what ways people would get annoyed by Tenko or Himiko or Ouma or Miu or... most of them, really, but everyone in this cast was interesting and enjoyable for extended periods of time. Some, all the way through the game! (Looking at you, Gonta, Miu, and K1-B0)

THE DEBATE SCRUM SONG IS A FUCKIN BANGER

AND THE DEBATE SCRUM IN GENERAL IS AWESOME

Thank God they fixed Hangman’s Gambit

A lot of the music in this one was really really good!! I have the soundtrack CD in my car and I very much enjoy it and will probably blast it during my drive back to campus on Monday

Thanks for coming to my TedTalk

[sternbilder]

the games i played to completion in 2017, ranked in order of how much i liked them

mostly for my own reference and i’m gonna try to keep this out of the tags but read on if you want to read about me getting super excited about video games i guess

p/ersona 5 - look i know this wasn’t a perfect game like there are Several Large Complaints i would like to file regarding plot and pacing and premise even but this was. still my favorite game of 2017 and just such an enjoyable 120 hours to have spent holy fuck?? like everyone’s always talking about how stylish p5 is and goddamn are they right like it’s such a gorgeous game!! the loving detail they put into every aspect of the UI, the beautiful character sprites, that effortlessly cool contemporary tokyo vibe that oozes into every aspect of the game!! and the gameplay (which i played on normal difficulty, being a series beginner) was both challenging and rewarding and both the dungeons and the school life segments (considering the sheer variety of Shit You Could Do not to mention all the charming-ass characters with compelling sideplots) were just. an absolute treat?? plus the soundtrack to this game was just killer so there’s also that

n/ier: automata - SPEAKING OF GAMES WITH GR8 SOUNDTRACKS. i think this game’s soundtrack probably ranks up there with my favorite video game OSTs of ALL TIME FOREVER like seriously. it is so so good. anyway friends it took me four (4) days to beat this game and another full 24 hours just to process this game like. y’all know i’m always a slut for sad robots and BOY HOWDY did this game have that thing. not only is the game itself gorgeous but i’m pretty much in love with the Entire cast (but especially 9S, who is my special son) and i’m crying,, eternally,, about the c/d/e routes and even though it probably wasn’t the Most impressive and best written game Ever it had a lot of good twists and revelations and a real sense of weight and suspense esp. in the later playthroughs which i am ALL ABOUT. not being much of an action RPG person i never really fell in love w/ the combat but it was fun enough even though it got kind of repetitive and too hack-and-slashy for my taste after a while?? actually fuck the bullet hell hacking minigame tho if i’m gonna be real

f/ire emblem fates (birthright, conquest, and revelation) - listen i know this game was like objectively garbage but i’m still trying to justify having spent a literal 1/3 of my year playing it so bear with me for just 2 hot seconds. first of all hi yes there’s a running theme here bc i dig the shit out of fe14′s OST?? also even though the plot was kind of a mess the characters and supports still grew on me a lot after a while and actually the gameplay was really fun?? maybe it’s bc i played it on hard/classic (as opposed to fea which i played on normal/casual) but i really enjoyed the combat a lot more in these games than fea--actually i do think there’s actually a lot of actual improvements here, especially with all the new classes, the improved dual guard/dual strike rules, and no fucking weapon durability, etc. as well as a lot of the more unusual victory conditions (in conquest and revelation, not so much in birthright) like i feel like there were a lot of highlights and i genuinely enjoyed the battles in fe14 a lot and sure the whole waifu nintendogs concept is creepy as hell and babyrealm is a fucking joke but i still thought this was a Pretty good or at least enjoyable game so you can fight me on that front

d/anganronpa v3 - ok let me me the first to admit that i honestly?? don’t really like dr as a franchise very much and the only real reason i got into it in the first place is to fill the ace attorney-shaped hole in my heart in between releases thereof (as well as superficial similarities to other games i like, like ze) and while i still enjoy the gameplay and investigating and mystery-solving parts of it and those aspects i still find very enjoyable and well-written a lot of the rest of the games really kind of fall flat for me?? like tbh i’m not a huge fan of the art style, the sense of humor and localization don’t really do it for me, the characters are cute but kind of over-the-top and not super relatable to me personally, and honestly the whole ~evil mastermind did it for the lulz~ trope being played super straight disappointed me a lot about the first game especially?? that being said i know this is a bit of a base breaker but i actually really liked the direction that sdr2 took with its ending and it made me hopeful for the sequel, which brings me to drv3 which surprised me in a lot of pleasant ways?? like personally i think it’s the best dr yet and while i can see why people would be disappointed with the ending and feel like it may be a cop-out i think it was still clever enough that i appreciate it for trying?? or maybe it’s just bc i didn’t like the original so much and the departure from that felt like kind of a breath of relief but that’s just me idk

f/inal fantasy x - guess who was late to the party and played her first final fantasy in this year of the lord 2017!!! it’s me!!! honestly i was expecting more from this game overall in terms of plot just because it’s such a Classic and all but fwiw i still liked it?? i didn’t super love any of the main characters and the story was a little predictable and even though i played the remaster it’s still an obviously dated game but NEVERTHELESS it was still just a solid RPG and i genuinely enjoyed playing it!! i should play the sequel sometime but. i’ll get to it after i clear out this massive backlog i have currently as we speak sobs

the witness - i don’t talk about this game enough bc honestly it isn’t the kind of game that can have a real fanbase (no real characters or plot, etc.) but i still enjoyed the fuck out of this, holy hell. i mean it’s i guess kind of an open-world exploration-slash-puzzle concept which sounds kind of boring but the world is gorgeous and the way the game presents these puzzles for you to solve and teaches you the rules in a way that’s entirely self-explanatory and intuitive but still super difficult and ultimately rewarding is just so gratifying and i was just so so impressed at how creative they got with these puzzle designs and the way the world seems to unfold itself the more you unlock its secrets?? anyway i know this is near the bottom bc i do love me a video game story and this particular game doesn’t have that but PLAY THIS GAME IF YOU LIKE PUZZLES IT IS JUST SO COOL AND FUN AND GOOD

the n/onary games (999 only) - this is a replay but still worth mentioning i think?? obviously 999 is one of my favorite games of all time and i was super pumped about the remake and while i didn’t quite enjoy it as much as the very first time i played 999 on my DS it was still a good game!! tbh i mostly just played this game for the voice acting which i was pretty impressed with, and also i got to pick up a lot of the bilingual bonuses i obviously missed while playing my localized copy of the original game which was cool!! i wasn’t as impressed with the updated sprites unfortunately, i felt like their quality was inconsistent and some of them looked like kind of a rush job to me but ymmv i guess?? i think overall i still prefer the DS version even with improvements like the flow chart in the newer version, mostly because 1. i actually appreciated having to literally replay parts of the game in the former bc i feel like it’s more in the spirit of the game if you know what i mean, and 2. some details near the ending that they changed, which you definitely know what i mean if you played the game. still, i appreciate that it’s made the game more widely accessible and if you haven’t played the game pls go play this game i’m literally begging u,,

u/mineko (question arcs only) - ok the only reason i have this 8th on this list is just bc i haven’t technically finished it yet and BOY am i the kind of person who lives entirely for that sweet sweet payoff but there really isn’t THAT much i can say?? like thanks to the ps3 patch the art is pretty decent i guess?? i’m liking all the characters so far?? there’s a whole lot of Bullshit that doesn’t make any sense at this point but i’ve been promised metagame and mindfuck in due time so i guess i’ll just have to see?? yeah this is more of a tbd review than anything i don’t really know what to say besides i’m just so eager to play the other half of this game and get the answers to all these gotdamn MYSTERIES already

braid - i mostly just played this bc i knew it was made by the same person?? studio?? as the witness and while i liked braid and i really enjoyed the puzzles it was just too short for it to have really made an impression on me?? like i know that there is a story and a Twist but it didn’t really do much for me with how abstract it was and just in terms of sheer volume of content it doesn’t quite compare to the other games on this list like don’t get me wrong it was still good!! and if you need a way to kill an afternoon i still highly recommend it but it just wasn’t as memorable to me as p5 or nier was unfort

[caladblog]

okay here we go

if i had to succinctly* describe what i like about Archive 81, i’d say two things:

*lmao

1) eldritch! but, y’know, if the Fathomless Horror wasn’t rooted directly in violent hatred of everyone who’s not a WASP.

2) so you think it’s not possible to portray quality gore and body horror in a strictly audio format? hey. hey. buddy. guess what. feast yr ears

this podcast has, hands down, the absolute best sound design of anything i’ve ever heard.

my warnings for the show come from those two points. reality gets bent, minds get fucked, terrible things happen to (mostly) undeserving people and you get to hear every bit of it in stereo. if that’s not a good time for you, you might have to skip over this one. (i can give more specific warnings to anyone who asks!)

okay now on to the actual review! as usual, it’s fucking long as hell, and there’s only light spoilers under the cut.

i’m gonna start off by elaborating on point #2 because it is my favoritest thing ever oh my god. the only thing that sort of comes close to the quality of its immersion is Lif-e.af/ter, which, aside from being a fucking pain in the ass to type out and impossible to search for, isn’t trying to portray anything half so ambitious as a dude’s spine being ripped from his body in order to house an otherworldly messenger and fuel a lesbian’s apotheosis. i mean to be fair i never finished watching L-i.give/up, but it’s mostly just like some guy in an office. idk man. reach for the stars & keep going til you land in the abyss.

immersion. i want to repeat that. i had no idea how good a podcast’s acting and sound design could be until i clicked on Archive 81 at random. it is honestly amazing and ridiculous and amazing how immersive this is. even the ads are done in character my god take some fuckin notes, TBT

will i ever stop throwing shade at TBT? details at eleven.

and then there’s the body horror. delicious, delicious body horror. where do you even find that many different meaty crunching noises? i thought it was good in the first season but then the second season took it up about fifty notches right away and it’s just sooooo. (◡‿◡)

...what was i talking about? anyway. elaboration on point #1.

i really like this stuff, y’know? mindfucks, and creases in the fabric of spacetime, and unreality, and how characters then have to fumble around in a frantic attempt to figure out the logic of the situation, if there even is a logic, and it is just

so

fucking

impossible

to find a story about all of this that doesn’t either ignore people like me or treat us with outright contempt. and i try but it is so tiring to interact with things made by people who find it easier and more rewarding to write about non-Euclidean geometry than queers.

which is why, when i do find a story like this that acknowledges and includes me, i have to actively restrain myself from going door to door** all like hello friend have you heard the creepy word :) :)

**i totally would, but i live in the deep south. i’d get my tires slashed in the name of the Lord.

i am a jehovah’s witness of weird shit and by clicking on this post you have made the ultimate mistake of answering your door, and now i won’t stop telling you about gay-ass unknowable beings even though you’ve already promised me like eight fucking times that you will be at snake church*** next wednesday. you will not be at snake church. we both know this, and that is why i am still talking.

***this is in fact an actual thing. there’s one just off a highway around here, its sign is written in black sharpie and tacked to a telephone pole. bless

i mean, did you see that bit about a lesbian’s apotheosis up there??? MY GOD i wish i didn’t have a self-imposed spoiler policy because these were some of my favorite scenes! actually, you know what, i’m gently breaking the spoiler policy to tell you that they get to be happy. they get to be happy AND TOGETHER!! for a crash course in why this is significant i would like to direct you to autostraddle’s ongoing list of 181+ dead canonically wlw characters, just pulling from television, not even including movies or books or anything else. (for obvious reasons that link contains huge spoilers, and for equally obvious reasons it’s fucking depressing.)

and, to be frank, if the phrase “lesbian apotheosis” doesn’t sell you on this podcast i don’t know what the hell you’re doing on this blog. the main character is a cis dude, but queer people and women also exist in a major way, and they’re allowed to have their own unique and complete personalities outside of Delicate Victim, or Vile Corrupter Of All That Is Good And Human, or Either Of The Above But Sexy(TM) This Time.

it’s stupid as fuck that this is notable, but hey that’s the state of the genre.

speaking of the state of the genre, Archive 81 also stands out for being fucking funny at parts. i for real have not yet gotten over that time they lampshaded The Black Tapes (Stamp Dot Com. For when you only need one stamp.) or basically every thing ever said by cynthia or that one conversation with clara you know the one.

[pictured above: the entire fandom after s2e5]

so much of the genre--horror, sf/f horror in specific, lovecraftian horror in even more specific--takes itself so god damn seriously. everything must be an unrelenting cavalcade of madness and misery. if there is a joke, it’s only there to be juxtaposed against the naked agony of everything else. and that’s just not realistic? in a human reaction way, i mean. no matter what sort of incomprehensible hellscape you’re trapped in, people are always going to be sarcastic little shits to each other.

and the fact that i was laughing at dan’s hipster-ass ~oh, so we’re archiving MFA projects now, great~ comment two minutes ago doesn’t mean i can’t feel a bit of trepidation at lou’s attitude now, or interest in what lies beyond the river, or fear for how it’s all going to be fucked up and awful. there’s a whole spectrum of emotion beyond ‘cynicism’ and ‘terror’, horror writers! paint with all the colors of the goddamn wind, please!!

ugh.

anyway, so season 1 was really good, and then season 2 took a HARD left turn that was a bit jarring at first, but in doing this it tremendously expanded the world and the cast, and i’m glad i hung on for the rest of the ride because there are so many amazing questions now. i wrote out a whole list of them and then deleted it because it super violated my spoiler policy! just trust me that they give you enough information for you to keep up, but if you sit down for a second you start to wonder about one thing which leads you to another two things and then you realize you don’t know the whole deal about this fourth thing either and before you know it you’re lost down a rabbit hole of just what the fuck has happened here! and is happening here! and could/might/will happen here! not necessarily in that order! time is weird, okay, be cool

jesus h. fuck, this is over a thousand words long so i will speak only in pairs for the rest of the review. QUICK RECAP: excellent sound, corporate exploitation, dreaming Things, important stories, musical leviathans, go listen.

[nastywomenblr-blog]

Ya down wit the PP?

Real talk, you should be.  

Planned Parenthood faces constant legislative woes, fueled by the religious right.  Though the government is prohibited from enacting laws that interfere with practicing religion, vis-a-vis the Constitution, the religious right continuously forces their religious views on all citizens through state and federal legislation.  Do you remember when Catholics and Christians denounced the use of birth control claiming it was murder?  The irony being those preaching these sentiments to their congregations were doing so in front of drastically smaller families than ever before.  My church quietly backed away from the condemnation of birth control somewhere around the year 2000 (Backstory, I'm a recovering Catholic.  In my youth, the house rule was mass each Sunday).  At some point even Catholics had to acknowledge that their congregation was no longer made up of families with 10 plus kids each and that perhaps it was more than divine intervention causing it.

To distract from the quiet acceptance of birth control, religious groups turned their focus on abortion.  The Roe v. Wade decision of 1973 gave women access to abortion.  But not long after, women took a different approach.  In fact, abortion rates have essentially been decreasing since the early 1980s.  (4)  Some reasons for the decline could be negative - for example inadequate access to a clinic, or unnecessary barriers like viewing the ultrasound, forcing consent from the father, attending a burial service, etc. (4)  However, while abortion rates have been decreasing, births have not been increasing. (1)   The likelihood of this is affordable access to birth control, especially more effective birth control. (2) 

There are many types of birth control.  But each has a failure rate which could result in pregnancy, a mindfuck of a life-altering event for all parties.  Condoms have a failure rate of approximately 18%, oral contraceptives have a failure rate of approximately 9%, and long-acting reversible contraceptives (LARCs), such as IUDs or implants, have a failure rate of less than 1%.  (1)   Obviously the best method is....LARCs, don't even fucking say abstinence.  I do not need to revisit the ungodly amount of studies and FAILURES of abstinence-only education.  Further, grown ass women do not need to be rich in order to have sex.  I'm sick & tired of women, especially lower & middle class women, being stranded in the ocean while rich, white men tell them they should have made better life choices while they float away on their yacht.  Sex is not a privilege for only the wealthy.  

Look, LARCs are not only highly effective because they don't require daily use, but they also remove the reliance on males.  Men have too much sexual freedom in comparison to females, and to paraphrase Juno, the proof of sex is never under his shirt.  He also doesn't have to give birth, incur thousands in medical bills, & forever be responsible for the life of a human.  Unfortunately, as my experience in family law has shown me, it is easier and frequently men that walk away entirely or come & go when it's convenient.  The responsibility falls on the woman to provide (With the added bonus of the goddamn pay gap).

Thus, it is so important all women have affordable access to birth control.  They should be in control of their own future and their own fucking bodies.  Therefore, every person with a functioning brain should support Planned Parenthood, stand up for Planned Parenthood, and ensure their doors stay open.  The Indiana/Kentucky Planned Parenthood organization (my local PP) reports annual numbers, although the categories reported vary year to year.  In 2016, my local PP provided care for over 51,000 patients, in the form of birth control, pap smears, STD screenings, referral sources, and yes abortions.  (3)  However, in 2013, the most recent self reporting of abortion numbers (since it's not federally required to track & report), there were zero abortions performed in Kentucky.  (3)  Yes zero.  They did, however, ensure patients received affordable access to various types of birth control, which ultimately helps decrease the number of abortions performed, by lowering the number of unintended pregnancies.  

At the end of the day, both sides can agree that the goal would be zero abortions needed.  Planned Parenthood can provide that number, and still stay operational.  However, an abortion decision is for a family to make with their doctor.  Only the families themselves can decide what is best for them & the child based on their current situation and trying to predict if their future circumstances will provide a healthy environment for the child.   For some who visit PP, they do decide adoption services are best for them.  But even if every abortion was converted to adoption, the Cabinet is still woefully overwhelmed with children aging out of the system each year before they ever find a home.  There is no shortage of kids to adopt.  And removing the option of abortion, do not stop abortions.

Access to affordable healthcare, especially for women, should not be at the mercy of religiously fueled legislation.  PP doors should remain open for women to make educated health decisions without going bankrupt.  Support their work and donate $5 HERE.  With the current fight among GOP asshats to repeal and replace at any cost to the average american,  access to Planned Parenthood is more important than ever.

[stylesprimes]

so the wonderful, wonderful kath @bioluminescentwriting tagged me in the new best meme ever let’s get down to it, here it is for db frances!!

rules: choose a couple of fave photos/gifs of your character! copy and paste the questions down below! answer as if you’re the character that’s been tagged! then tag some of your fave characters/authors to answer next! (btw you’re also allowed to tag an author again if they have more than one character you want to answer these questions!)

i tag: maude @likeamisfit​ becks @bioluminescentwriting, beth @littlebird006​, scarlett @beggingforfics​, ramona @nebulastyles​ 

For a full list of questions without the answers in between, click here!

1. If it’s 1am and you’re still awake and wanting to talk to someone, who do you call and what do you talk about?

I mean, my gut instinct is to say Hyesun, but she’s actually responsible and goes to bed at, like, eleven every night, so if it wasn’t important I wouldn’t call her. And it’d be dumb to call Harry, since he’s right downstairs, I’d just knock on his door--so Niall, I guess? I don’t think he ever sleeps, he’d probably start off telling me dirty Irish jokes or some shit, then make sure that I wasn’t calling him so late because I was really upset and then we’d talk about, shit, I don’t know--marketing plans for Hysterical Naked, if we were feeling productive? If not, old school MTV reality shows. 

2. Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

Little spoon. Especially in the tiny beds I always seem to find myself in. 

3. If you could only listen to one band/artist for the rest of your life, who would it be?

Goddamn, I know whatever I answer, I’m never gonna hear the end of it. Is it really fucking cheesy if I say Hysterical Naked? 

4. What kind of drunk are you?

One that makes impulsive decisions I tend to regret in the morning, Also, a little feisty if the situation is right. 

5. Are you a team player or do you prefer to go solo?

When it comes to school, solo, thanks to the jackasses to who tend to populate my program, but in most other things, I’ve realized that it’s really nice to work with other people. 

6. When you were younger, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I wanted to be a nurse, but then discovered I was pretty good at building stuff, and that math and physics made much more sense to me than biology. Also, I’m not the best when it comes to blood.  

7. What’s your ultimate feel good/pick me up TV show or film?

Fuck, another thing I’m never going to hear the end of--it’s The Princess Diaries, Hyesun and I watch it whenever one of us is feeling down. 

8. What is one scent that reminds you of home? Why?

Freshly made waffle cones. I spent most of my summers in high school working at an ice cream parlour. Vanilla has also become a pretty comforting scent to me, because someone close to me insists on burning them all the time. Even in the middle of the summer. It never ends. 

9. If you were given a blank piece of paper and a pen, what would happen?

If I’m in school, probably an equation related to whatever new mindfuck they’re throwing at us in physics or stoichiometry and I’m trying to get into my brain. If I’m not in school, I like to doodle--expect lots of right angles. 

10. What are your top three most used emojis?

🖕 😘  💩