#but he's allied himself with the big baddie

[maverickmongrel]

the erins did longtail so dirty 😮‍💨

[icedragonlizard]

Marx will always be the most hilarious Kirby villain to me.

He has by far the funniest motivation out of any villain. Most other villains are either big bad conquerors, or are barely sapient as they're just embodiments of hatred/evil, or are minions of greater baddies, or have tragic backstories that led to them being villains, or a combination of the listed criteria there.

But Marx is literally none of that. He just did what he did for the hell of it. He had no real reason to do what he did other than just for kicks and giggles. He did it because he thought it was funny.

Magolor pulled a similar stunt, but he counts as a "big bad conqueror" as he attempted universal conquest. Marx however didn't even care to conquer. He asked Nova to give him enough power to be capable of causing all the mischief he wanted, which is what he literally outright says after making that wish. He just wanted to turn Popstar into his personal stomping ground where he can run rampant with mischief.

This guy is literally the biggest troll of the franchise. I love him for it.

And the funniness doesn't stop there. After defeating him in his boss fight, when you punt him to make him crash onto Nova, you'd think that impact would've been more than enough to kill him....

... But nah, he suddenly comes back out of nowhere in Star Allies! And the lore does even not bother explaining how he survived the Nova impact, LOL. How in the world did he survive that? Unless you're someone that doesn't actually regard dream friends in Star Allies being canon and interpret Marx staying dead. I get that. I personally see it as canon, though.

Another hilarious thing is that he acts as a boss in the credits of the good ending of Heroes in Another Dimension. Basically, after the important stuff is over, Marx then goes right back to being a little shit that causes problems on purpose. Showing that he's still the biggest troll of the franchise.

It's also funny how enigmatic Marx is in the lore. It's unclear whether he actually legitimately redeemed himself or not. I'd say it's valid to headcanon him as either being redeemed or still being a bad guy. Interpretations of Marx vary. They range from being just a silly little dude to still being a literal bastard that's still up to something sinister.

As much as I'd love to see Marx get used in Kirby games more, I actually hope they don't give him a backstory. Or at least, don't give him a tragic one. I think he stands out if he were to stay as just a troll without a sob story, as opposed to many other villains who are more tragic. I bet he'd lie about his origins, too, which would also be funny.

Marx is truly one of the characters of all time, in my opinion. He might not have as much substance behind him as many of the later villains in Kirby, but with the material that we do have, he's truly something.

[kamiko1234]

*Yapping Ahead*

(Listen I know I'm putting too much thought and getting way too invested in a book series for kids. Just bare with me for a second)

Okay I am done with BOTL and WOW, the gods and camp are really begging Luke/Kronos on their knees to just- obliterate them all. Because like were they REALLY just doing NOTHING !? Okay to be fair with them, I AM a big agitated because I'm still sort of reeling from Luke but STILL.

Those people JUST had their camp invaded. They KNOW that stuff's getting serious. I mean people DIED there just now. AND IN RESPONSE TO THAT THEY DO BLOODY NOTHING. Like did I miss something? Are they for real? I understand the concept of licking your wounds after a battle like that- BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN JUST GOING ON LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED. Maybe, oh idk- START TO FORM A COUNTER ARMY!? ATTEMPT TO DO COUNTERSTRIKES!? TRY TO STRENGHTEN YOUR POSITION WHO HAS ALREADY BEEN INVADED ONCE!? Let me remind you that Luke/Kronos is out there with a fully formed army including a viable command structure, good training and allies in form of actual minor GODS. ALL THE WHILE ALSO HAVING ALREADY STARTED LAUNCHING ATTACKS. All this and the camp does NOTHING of value! Sure I mean they are sort of training demigods, and even if we say they can't launch attacks themselves for some reason- them doing nothing is just stupid. Atleast start to get these kids used to army strategy and genuinely monster fighting OUTSIDE off capture-the-flag or whatever else they are playing. Maybe also, ikd- INTERROGATE CHRIS!? Like maybe they did and is just wasn't mentioned but- that man was in the army. He should know valuable info and you don't even so much as CHECK of he knows anything!

LAND ALSO WHY IS HE FREELY MOVING AROUND THE CAMP ANYWAY!?

Listen I do NOT care if he had a "change of heart" or "deserves a second chance". This is a purley objective statement here but that guy was an ENEMY. He already switched sides ONCE. THERE IS NO REASON FOR YOU GUYS TO TRUST HIM AT THIS POINT OF TIME, AND EVERY REASON TO HAVE HIM LOCKED UP AND INTERROGATED SOMEWHERE.

I know this is a kid's series but please, Rick. Atleast mention Chris getting question. Don't make your main good guys look like morons compared to the baddies.

Or someone please tell me I missed something of the books because so far it looks like any semblance of battle smarts left CHB with Luke 💀 Also am I the only one a bit irked between the few months timeskip at the end between the Battle and Percy talking with Annabeth? 'cause like, I feel this is a conversation they (logically speaking) should have had a few weeks at MOST after the whole thing going down in the story, NOT a few months after. This too is just a personal ick but, I do not like what they did with Chris. With him joining up with camp just like that? Yeah, no. He betrayed them before. That means he must have had atleast SOME grievances with how things were run. And now he's just back again a "redemtion arc" (that isn't even really an arc if we are honest, it's just there) and no further focus!? It's not like anything got BETTER. I mean sure it was cool to see Dionysus acctualy grieve his kids and be a bit nicer to Percy.

DOESN'T MEAN HE WASN'T ANY LESS OF A DICK BEFOREHAND.

DOESN'T MEAN THAT LUKE DIDN'T HAVE A FUCKING POINT EITHER. Like, idk. I'm just disappointed, as of now I'm just hoping we'll see more of Chris and see the demigods and Luke delved more into with the last book.

The only thing I genuinely pray doesn't happen is that they'll start to demonize the demigods who joined Luke and Luke himself. I'm really nervous since Chris seems to be treated like a "redeemed" villain, ignoring the fact that they all had valid point and valid reasons to go against Olympus. The gods and Camp Halfblood are both objectively horrible as a whole. The system in itself is flawed and I'm pretty sure even stacked against the demigods. I'm gonna be real I see no real reason to expect any real loyalty from Demigods nor do I see any reason why they should keep dying for what's basically a blood mill that couldn't care less. The Demigods who joined Luke are not evil. Luke is not evil. The gods are not good people. If these books start to pretend that Luke and his allies are wholly evil I WILL flip a table. Ngl I have little mind for much else of the bunch of things that happened in the story. Maybe I'll make a second post where I'm talking about other stuff, maybe I won't. I'll see, if I don't feel free to ask. As always I ask to mark spoilers in any replies or reblogs you may make so I can avoid them, thank you ^^

[ultraericthered]

One Villainous Scene: A Childhood Wound Repaid

Unlike later Disney/Pixar villains like Lotso and Ernesto de la Cruz, Buddy Pine AKA Syndrome of The Incredibles was promoted as the film's villain from the moment the character was revealed, as you can just tell by looking at him that he's a dastardly supervillain. But they still sort of pulled a trick on us with what they showed us of him versus what they did not show. Voiced by comedic actor Jason Lee, Syndrome was characterized as a geeky superhero fanboy gone bad after having been soured on his hero, Mr. Incredible, and now he's not only an enemy to Incredible and his family, but a threat to the world at large with the super weapons he plans on making and selling. While it figures he'd be credible as that threat, the geeky personality and hammy characteristics of Syndrome painted him as a goofball cartoon baddie, one who'd evoke more humor than hatred.

And then we all actually saw the movie, and got to see exactly what Syndrome did in it and what effects those actions had on others. Syndrome was a viler, crueler, far more personally nasty villain than we'd been led to believe he'd be, and this scene best exemplifies it.

Before this scene, we were told that Syndrome was an arms dealer and that he'd brought about the deaths of other Supers. We saw Gazerbeam's skull and saw heroes classified as "terminated" on a big computer screen. Dark stuff, but Syndrome's comedically douchey manchild character didn't quite match the darkness of his deeds. Syndrome enters this scene just as comically, fanboying over Bob Parr (Mr. Incredible) all over again even as he holds him captive, then disparaging him sending out a call for help as "Lame, lame, lame, LAME!" And then not two seconds have passed before Syndrome orders the electro shock torture to be turned on, as Bob is painfully zapped by the volts that suspend him, and he writhes in agony but refuses to give Syndrome the info he's demanding. After Bob sent out his request for help, which included a honing signal that gives his location, a government plane has requested to fly and land on the island Syndrome owns. Syndrome wants to know who's on board, as they'd almost assuredly be allies of Bob's. He even plays the transmission from Helen, Bob's wife, but Bob still denies that it's anyone he knows. So Syndrome says he'll send them a greeting.

Not shown in the video is that the "greeting" in question turns out to be an array of missiles to shoot down the plane. And because he knows Bob is lying about not knowing the pilot and wants to fuck with him, Syndrome keeps the live transmission on as the missiles seek to destroy. At one point Helen confirms that her children, her and Bob's son and daughter, are on board, which gets Bob panicked and pleading with Syndrome to call off the strike. Syndrome's response is a cheerful "Too late!", followed by a snarling, disdainful "15 years too late." Because he remains embittered towards Bob about how he'd spurred his help all those years ago, back when Buddy was a young, overzealous Super fanboy wanting to be his kid sidekick "Incrediboy". Bob doing this, and his cold, insensitive attitude about it, cut Buddy so deeply that it set him on course to becoming the villain he is today, and the grudge he carries over it drives him in his vendetta against Supers, Mr. Incredible himself in particular. Really think about that for a second: Buddy remains so sore about having had his feelings hurt as a child - in part due to Bob trying to stop him from recklessly jeopradizing his own life and the lives of others - that he now as an adult is A-OK with harming and ending the lives of children so long as doing so can hit the idol who'd rejected him where it really hurts.

When the last missile hits the target and it seems that Helen and the kids have perished in the explosion, Bob is mortified. Syndrome takes his speechless anguish as yet another opportunity to rub in some petty payback for the incident 15 years ago, throwing Bob's words to him back at him "You'll get over it. I seem to recall you prefer to work alone?" Cackling maliciously, Syndrome turns to walk away not noticing a now furious Bob about to grab him from behind. His assistant Mirage rushes in the way and Bob grabs her in a chokehold instead. Bob demands he be released or he will crush Mirage to death right there and then. Syndrome displays zero empathy or understanding that Bob is doing this out of the pain of having just lost his beloved wife and offsprings, remarking that killing a hostage would "be a little dark for him" before nonchalantly going "Aaah, go ahead." Bob, even in this emotional state, doesn't actually want to take Mirage's life, so he verbally reinforces how easy it'd be for him to do it. Syndrome just chuckles and calls his bluff again. "Show me!", he says, daring Bob to go through with the murder, a despicably evil smirk on his face as he looks his ex-idol in the eyes.

Bob cannot do it. His human decency is too great. But Syndrome sees it differently. "I knew you couldn't do it." he sneers "Even when you have nothing left to lose! You're weak...and I've outgrown you." Completely cold, dead serious, and detached from any semblence of human feelings, Syndrome doesn't even give Bob a second glance as he walks out of the room, believing his revenge to have at last been fulfilled, as now Bob can only suffer and drown in his despair until the time comes where Syndrome makes him the last Super to perish. But Mirage does give a glance back and a sad look as Bob, the mighty and once revered Mr. Incredibly, has broken down in anguished sobs, believing he's just had everything taken from him.

Beneath the geekiness, blase humor and superficial affability, Buddy Pine is not only absolutely a true menace not to be taken lightly, but a malignant, sociopathic monster who relishes any and all ways he can build himself up at the expense of others who are either enemies for him to topple or collateral damage he gives not one single shit about. And with his own self-elevation to greatness, he feels it fine to bring about both the end of Supers and the downfall of human civilization once all of his weapons would be put up for grabs. Nothing matters to Syndrome except Syndrome, and in such a self-aggrandizing soul there exists endless room for cruelties and exactly none for shame.

[number-two-tournament]

Propaganda under the cut!

Roronoa Zoro:

"He went from barely trusting Luffy to 100%. My man is DEVOTED. He took all his captain's pain and said nothing happened, he respects his captain over everyone else. He is,, just to most ever. AND aside from his devotion to Luffy, he cares so much for the whole crew, prime example being Chopper, he is like a big brother to Chopper. But just in general he is just devoted and wonderful and perfect. He also goes into a three headed demon form and,, does not talk about it. He acts like it's just any other Tuesday. <3"

"this man saw a twink and went "dont get in the way of my dream" and then immediately decided he'd die for him. it takes him less than 3 days to be ride or die for his Captain. he takes upon himself his captain's pain and DIES (but he survived so hes ok) . cares for his crew so deeply that he's willing to promise killing one of them if he has to for their peace of mind even though it would destroy him. he risks his lifelong dream for them. Nami betrays them and he goes "alright bet" and tries to drown himself to prove to HER that she's someone he still trusts when she saves him. Hes also like. part demon or something but that's just cool factor."

"Unofficial vice captain of the Straw Hat Pirates, Luffy's first and closest ally, acts as a voice of reason and advisor to Luffy and occasionally leads his crewmates in Luffy's absence"

Sancho Panza:

"he follows quixote around everywhere and is super loyal to him. he feels a lot of fondness & affection for quixote. also they're foils what's not to love.

and he's the second-in-command of the protagonist of the #1 best-selling novel of all time. that has to count for something right"

"icon legend the moment the og if you squint really hard.a baddie tbh."

[denimbex1986]

'Many iconic heroes from literary history, due to their status within the public domain, have been adapted countless times to the big screen. There's bound to be a new film or series about King Arthur, Robin Hood, Zorro, Tarzan, or the Three Musketeers every few years, but there isn’t a character with more screen appearances than Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes. Many adaptations of the character have tried to replicate the tone intrinsic to Doyle’s original stories, but the BBC series Sherlock made the radical decision to set the character in modern times, completely inverting expectations about his mythology. Although Sherlock did a great job of revamping some of the most iconic stories from Doyle’s era, Andrew Scott’s scene-stealing performance as the brilliant Jim Moriarty instantly ranked among television’s greatest villains.

Andrew Scott's Moriarty Added Legitimate Stakes to 'Sherlock'

What was most remarkable about Sherlock is that, despite minor shifts meant to reflect the new historical setting, the show was relatively faithful to the dynamics at play in Doyle’s original stories. Benedict Cumberbatch’s version of Sherlock is a dogmatic, isolated loner whose expertise at deduction makes him an integral (albeit obnoxious) ally to London’s Metropolitan Police Force, including Detective Inspector Greg Lestrade (Rupert Graves). After pairing with the veteran John Watson (Martin Freeman) to work on the “A Study in Pink” case, Sherlock realizes that the two have a potentially lucrative opportunity to work together in solving London’s most beguiling cases. As entertaining as the chemistry between Cumberbatch and Freeman was, Sherlock needed a legitimately intimidating villain in order to raise the stakes. Without a larger threat at play, Sherlock risked becoming just another network buddy cop mystery series, such as the rival Doyle adaptation Elementary.

A sure way to introduce a greater level of intensity to the series is to add Holmes’ most iconic villain, and the series did a great job at building up to Scott’s first debut as the character. Although initially Sherlock’s brother, the governmental agent Mycroft (Mark Gatiss) appears to be a barrier within his new detective agency, it’s eventually revealed that there are more insidious forces at play. Scott’s version of Moriarty is the show’s only character who is Holmes’ intellectual equal. While many of the most entertaining moments on Sherlock involve Cumberbatch belligerently proving his opponents wrong, Scott’s Moriarty is a man whose motivations he cannot crack. The conversations between Scott and Cumberbatch spark with energy because Holmes can’t be two steps ahead of his new rival; for once, Holmes is the one who is just trying to keep up.

Beyond the intellectual threat that he poses to the titular detective, Scott’s Moriarty has completely opposite morals compared to Holmes. Although Sherlock is often bewildered and willfully ignorant of the patterns of human behavior, he seeks to bridge a great understanding that would allow him to connect with others. None of that empathy is present within Moriarty; he views his intelligence as a commodity and callously disregards anyone who can’t keep up with him. While Sherlock seems to enjoy pointing out the errors in others’ ways, Moriarty takes a sick pleasure in creating scenarios where people are forced to make morally compromising decisions. By showing the negative effects that extreme intelligence can have, Moriarty forces Sherlock himself to find his inner heroism. It’s a level of nuance that simply isn’t present in other depictions of the character.

Andrew Scott’s Moriarty Is the Best Version of the Character

Scott certainly isn’t the first great actor to step into Moriarty’s shows; Jared Harris memorably appeared as the ruthless professor in Guy Ritchie’s action sequel Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows. While other versions of the villain tend to emphasize his formal background and influence upon London’s high society, Scott’s interpretation of Moriarty embodies modern fears about internet terrorism and outsiderism. Often concocting various schemes in order to catch the attention of the media, Scott’s Moriarty revels in the opportunity to “play the bad guy” on a public stage. While there are escalating stakes once he begins putting real people in danger, Moriarty can’t help but view his plans as one part of an elaborate game.

Sherlock utilized many of the best works from Doyle’s bibliography as inspiration for Moriarty, with great episodes inspired by the classic stories “The Great Game” and “The Reichenbach Fall.” Despite these classical inspirations, Moriarty’s depiction on Sherlock was retrofitted to reflect Scott’s personality. This is a version of Moriarty who is flamboyant, comically manipulative, and desperately seeking attention; in one instance in the finale “The Final Problem,” he has an entire dance sequence dedicated to Queen’s “I Want To Break Free.” It was a bold reimagining of the character that nonetheless reflected his literary roots as an agent of chaos, leading to Sherlock's Moriarty becoming one of the most defining villains of the modern “prestige television era.”

‘Sherlock’ Suffered Without Moriarty

While the early seasons of Sherlock sparked lively reactions with their creative new versions of classic narratives, the series began to suffer dramatically in terms of quality as it moved forward. Sherlock’s decline can partially be linked to the absence of Moriarty within the story; without a character that showed what Sherlock could become if his more chaotic impulses took over, Cumberbatch’s portrayal felt rather one note. The dark sense of humor that Scott had introduced to the series was also largely absent, leaving Sherlock in an uncomfortable place of self-seriousness.

Although the show attempted to introduce a few new antagonists, there wasn’t another villain on Sherlock who matched Moriarty’s screen presence. Compared to the energetic performance that Scott gave, Lars Mikkelsen’s Charles Augustus Magnussen felt like just another brooding terrorist, and Sian Brooke’s Eurus made for more of a half-hearted tie to Sherlock’s past. While these actors can’t be faulted for their performances, it’s hard living up to the incredible work Scott did in modernizing one of the greatest villains of all time.'

[magicmindless]

Can you do Papa himself?

nooooooo I have to take this man seriously now/j

I’m just kidding I did it (though tbh I don’t think about him much but I think I did decently)

A HC list but it’s just Papa Louie

The man the myth the legend

- To the public eye, he’s seen as a friendly, generous man by most, albeit questionable with his business choices at best. If it weren’t for Quinn, he’d be facing multiple lawsuits at the moment

- Those closest to him can describe him best, and they all say similar things like how he probably means well but it’s sometimes overshadowed by his impulsiveness, and trouble of thinking things through

- He started his business alongside Roy in the small space below of what would become Papa’s apartments, choosing to make pizza since it was relatively hard to mess up. Some customers like Wally and Allan were already there but more come to live in the apartments later

- For a guy running multiple fast-food chains and therefore getting tons of money, he lives in a pretty normal house which is located in a quieter area of Tastyville

- He’s childhood friends with Professor Fitz who was his neighbor. Their relationship is best described as the free spirit and the “straight-man”, and it’s still exactly like that to this day

- Went to a private elementary school because his mother worked there as a teacher. He met Jojo as a friend, however after elementary school they’d part ways to different schools and didn’t meet again ‘til the Taco Mia era

- Big LGBTQA+ ally, though there’s a possibility that he could fall under the aro/ace umbrella. He’s not sure but doesn’t dwell on it much

- He’s always up to date on Fitz’s latest discoveries on warp coins and Ripley’s Munchmore expeditions ever since the previous incidents which involve Radley Madish and other food baddies. He doesn’t let his guard down when it comes to that sort of thing

- He’s like a second father to Roy and Joy and occasionally his other workers, but he tends to take the sibling duo on surprise trips sometimes to other cities or regions of the land. It’s typically work for Louie but also a free vacation for the siblings

- He’s a bit traumatized from when Sarge invaded and kidnapped his customers and when Radley had kidnapped him twice. He doesn’t talk much about the invasions either because of bad memories

- Believe it or not he’s not a violent person, he only ever fought in the platformers because he had no other choice

- Really bad at telling if people are in relationships or not. Of course if there’s obvious signs like wedding bands he can tell, but if isn’t then he’ll just be like “wow what great best friends” until told otherwise

- There’s only one food that he heavily dislikes which is goat cheese

- He’s the only person who knows that Joy is Ninjoy, but he’s never told her because he doesn’t want to worry her

- Other hobbies he likes are mini-golf and bowling. He’s gotten pretty good at both

- Also a fan of gardening, mainly herbs and vegetables. He gets his herb gardening tips from Big Pauly

- He hides a lot of secrets for his own well-being, and that of others, and Fitz is the only person he’d trust to keep them

- When asked about what he thought of Mortadello, he stated that he actually felt kinda bad for him. Sure, he brought himself to his ultimate downfall (with Louie acknowledging that he was also responsible in a way) but he thinks Mortadello is just troubled, plain and simple

[1-up-chump]

Just to let everyone know my mortal kombat characterizations are a mix of the arcade games, mk1995, mk defenders of the realm, and my imagination. Rarely will i maybe pick and choose the rare good things they did in the newer stuff. Just so we're clear:

Raiden and fujin are GODS not demigod as that means one of their parents would had to have been mortal. They are GODS

Liu kang is humble but not infallible, he hates the idea of being a god and tricked himself into thinking he wants to be a chosen one when deep down he just wanted a normal fucking life. He can and will crack under pressure and just bc it takes a lot doesn't mean he'll last forever as a "hero". There are no heroes in Mortal kombat.

Kung lao is prideful in his HONOR of his ANCESTOR and the SECRET WHITE LOTUS SOCIETY. He is not anymore arrogant in his capabilities as a warrior as literally anyone else. He works hard, fights hard, for his friends and earthrealm.

Johnny cage has no fuckin deep lore ancestry to explain his powers he just has chi energy like everyone else he's just rare bc he managed to bring it out so quickly naturally no special bloodline or whatever the fuck percentage this white man has, its all him all his own soul all his own talent.

Sindel LOVES kitana and will never not love her. No matter how much dark magic corrupts her soul and mind, her heart is strong and true and Although it might be twisted she will love her daughter and sacrifice everything for her. Including herself.

Shang tsung is a baddie and he doesn't need big muscles or fancy artifacts to do so. His danger is in his smarts, even if he's not top dog he'll never be out of the game for long nor at the bottom. He will always be persistent and always there in mortal kombat, after all. He is THE tournament master of mortal kombat.

Shao kahn aint no whimp and he isn't a meat head either. He's a cunning tyrant, bold but not so brash he can't be smart enough to know what fights to pick to give him an advantage. Conquered realms with the oldest trick in the book, divide and conquer. Makes his enemies fight his other enemies, plays both sides to gain allies to his power. He's deadly because he is smart AND strong.

Kuai Liang LOVES his brother and never ever in all the lifespan of the universe and several others will he abandon or denounce bi-han. If he has to pluck bi-han's soul out of the layers of void and dark magiks that quan chi put in place then so be it. Kuai knows his brother is in there and if not, he'll find a way to give him peace one way or another.

JAX HAS HAPPINESS AND RESPECTS JACQUI EVEN IF HE SEES HER AS DADDY'S BABY GIRL BC JACQUI IS A GROWN ASS WOMAN

Speaking of jacqui, she is awesome and doing fine as takada's wife and is researching some cool magiks on the side to better help earthrealm (always leaving shang tsung on read since he wants an apprentice)

Sonya is doing her own thing. Ideally she would never had married a man she has 0 chemistry with, but if it has to happen she is divorced and fine with it and never gets back with Johnny. They're still friends tho! Best friends that just don't work as lovers.

Cassie is doing her own thing like Johnny does and has a personality that isnt "nerd dude bro wank bait" and is a warrior who goes through her own journey.

And scorpion is practically retired he's doing fine he's ok he's rebuilt the shirai ryu and everything is prosperous with the ninjas.

Reptile is actually not the last of his species and is getting some damn respect for once. Kotal Kahn is trying to better himself not only as a warrior but a leader bc he realized he has a long way to go actually. Goro is back and vibing. Sheeva is vibing too. Baraka is vibing.

MILEENA AND KITANA WILL HAVE RESPECT EVEN IF THEY'RE STILL RIVALS

Kitana is not some stuck up dipshit haughty princess she actually remembers what being under shao Kahn's oppressive regime, but also starts to realize despite that she had more privilege than others and starts to actually help all of her people and learn that edenia was never a utopia and such a thing doesn't exist, but regardless she will try to actually unite ALL of her people regardless of social status (might even abolish it)

[bow-chicka-wow-wow-wow]

Worst GTA Characters

1. Melvin “Big Smoke” Harris (San Andreas) - Let me get two number 9s, a number 9 large, and well, you know the rest. Oh, some Ballas. Nah, I can’t let this food go bad, let me just stuff my big fat fucking face. Oh by the way, I’m actually allied with the Ballas, and I’ve betrayed my childhood friends. I meant to have Sweet killed, but I ended up accidentally having his mother killed. Smoke is an opportunist, and was always out for himself. Fun fact, when he says “If you can eat your food, while everybody else is losing theirs, and blaming you, you straight,” he actually meant if you can profit while everyone else is losing everything because of you, then you’re okay,” foreshadowing his own betrayal. Almost hurt me to have to kill him in the end, although his mentality is the surest path to hell. Well, that and 15 microdots and an ounce of mescaline. Also, he had no regrets. He saw an opportunity, and took it, no matter who he ended up hurting.

2. Frank Tenpenny (San Andreas) - When it comes to GTA baddies, Tenpenny is one of the worst. He builds a crack empire in order to extort money from, he convinces opportunist Smoke to be the head of said drug empire and ally himself with the Ballas, he orders a hit on Grove OG Sweet after Smoke fails to convince him to get into the drug trade, he murders Internal Affairs officer Ralph Pendlebury for threatening to leak corruption evidence, and he frames the murder on CJ, blackmailing him into cleaning up his mess. Officer Pulaski may be cruel and sadistic, but Tenpenny is much worse. He even has Officer Hernandez killed for snitching on him. Once CJ’s usefulness has come to an end, he orders Pulaski to kill him and Hernandez, resulting in Pulaski’s death. He even manages to avoid jail time, thanks to the would-be witness he orders CJ to kill, causing a city-wide riot. Thankfully, his erratic behavior in the end cost him his life. Fun fact, it’s actually possible that he left Pulaski to deal with CJ cause he knew CJ would end up killing him.

3. The Celebrinator (TBoGT) - Look, buddy, my boss is struggling to maintain two nightclubs, owes money to some dangerous monsters, and is $2 million in the hole for some diamonds that got stolen from him. I got enough problems without your tabloid journalism fake news bullshit! You know what, I’m just gonna throw you out of a helicopter! Oh, I guess I don’t want ANOTHER murder on my conscience, among literally thousands! Guess I’ll save you! Haha, you shit your pants! Guess you’ll never mess with me again!

4. Auntie Poulet (Vice City) - She only appears in three missions as a mission giver. When Tommy initiated a gang war between the Cubans and the Haitians, Tommy does some missions for Umberto Robina, and eventually gets contacted by Auntie Poulet, who drugs Tommy into taking the Haitians side of the war. Then after her mission thread, you’re no longer useful and the Haitians attack you on sight once you step into their turf, following Poulet’s phone call telling you you’re no longer welcome in Haitian territory. Wow, so you use me against my will only to dispose of me in the end?

5. Kent Paul (Vice City) - It’s always funny to watch him try his luck with the ladies, only to fail so spectacularly. This English man keeps his nose in places it shouldn’t be, but that does make him useful if you want to know something involving Vice City’s criminal underworld. And he’s managed two well known Scottish rock bands, Love Fist and Gurning Chimps. But the thing that breaks it with this particular character, is the fact that he can be as petty as Lance when he calls complaining about your lack of respect for him. I hope he too doesn’t sell me out to a rival Mafia family.

6. Brian Jeremy (TLAD) - Ever heard the phrase “Nobody Likes A Kiss-ass?” Clearly Brian hasn’t. He is constant brown-nosing Billy ever since the latter got out of rehab. The Alderney Chapter President of the Lost M.C. is always making the obviously wrong decisions, causing friction between himself and Johnny. And quite frankly, the rest of the chapter doesn’t seem to agree with his methods either, save for Brian. Even Billy finds his kiss-ass annoying, too! When Billy gets arrested, Brian forms a faction that are dumb enough to follow against Johnny, who has taken over as President. I NEVER let him live the mission “Bad Standing.” I make sure he’s halfway to hell.

7. Ray Bulgarin (GTA IV) - So you say your boss is a pain. If he is the head of a smuggling/traffic ring, and he loses his latest consignment in a ship that sinks, and blames you, and tries everything in his power to have you killed, then you have the wrong boss. Granted, in the original GTA IV, he only shows up twice. He makes a more prominent appearance in TBoGT, when he employs Luis, up until he finds out he and Tony were involved in the Diamonds Arc, which Bulgarin claims are his diamonds, then spends the rest of the game trying to have them killed. Word to the wise, stay away from this guy!

8. Zero (San Andreas) - Did you know that you do NOT have to complete his mission thread in order to complete the story mode? BECAUSE I DIDN’T!!! Fun fact, even his voice actor, David Cross, couldn’t stand hearing his voice in the mission “Supply Lines,” so you know this is an interesting entry! Also prior to the casino heist, he boasts to his rival Berkley about the upcoming robbery, which makes the heist more difficult than it needed to be. I laughed my ass off when CJ punches him in the face, knocking him out for his idiotic mistake! That’s for “Supply Lines,” you prick!

9. Beverly Felton (GTA V) - What’s Vinewood without the annoying paparazzi? Beverly is an overweight, obnoxious paparazzo who tasks Franklin with helping him harass various stars around the Vinewood area. When he tasks Franklin to take some photos on his own, Franklin returns and demands his payment, only to be blown off cause they’re shooting a reality show. Oh God, if only I had a rocket lau- OH WAIT I DO! Yeah I kill that obnoxious prick for being, well, an obnoxious prick!

10. Tonya Wiggins (GTA V) - Good ol’ GTA. You get to steal cars, rob stores, get as many cops to kill you as you can, and… tow cars? I’m sorry, TOW cars? Yep, GTA V adds the ability to do yoga, go to therapy, and the mundane task of towing cars. Thanks to a potentially old flame/crackhead Tonya, whose boyfriend works at a towing company. By “works” I mean sitting on his ass and smoking crack. In order to keep his job, I get guilt-tripped by Tonya to do his job for him for nothing. And what’s worse, her first mission is actually required to progress the story, despite being a Strangers and Freaks mission. Good news is her other missions aren’t required, and spoiler alert, they’re literally the exact same thing.

11. Isiah Friedlander (GTA V) - I got some problems. I’m stealing cars, running over pedestrians, killing cops, causing chaos. I need some professional help. By “help,” I mean someone to complain to while he just takes my money, overcharges more for each subsequent session, just checks his watch, and not even listen to me? What, not even my therapist cares about me? What do I pay you for?? Well, you got a nice car, I’ll just steal it. Asshole. Also, do the world a favor. After your last session with him, and he reveals that he has written all your sessions in a book that has been published, kill that prick!

12. Catalina (San Andreas and GTA III) - Do you have a psycho girlfriend? Why is she psycho? Does she go berserk when you rob the countryside with her? Does she force you to have awkward, BDSM sex with her? Does she dump you for some mute with absolutely no personality? Does she shoot you during a robbery and leave you for dead? Wow, you ARE dating a psycho! Run, while you still can! Catalina is without a doubt the most evil character in the entire 3D universe. She’s that universe’s version of Dimitri Rascalov, screwing people over to benefit herself. It’s likely she’d betray the Cartel too, if Claude hadn’t killed her and taken his revenge. Thank God my girlfriend isn’t like that!

13. Karen “Michelle” Daniels (GTA IV) - What do you do when your girlfriend turns out to be a narc? You put her on a list of GTA characters you hate, obviously! Introduced as “Michelle,” she was there to introduce players to the revamped “dating” mechanic that was previously in San Andreas, and this version is actually part of the “friends” mechanic. You know, the “let’s go bowling” everyone absolutely loves! Other than 4 mission appearances, she does little to nothing to the plot, except in her betrayal, when she reveals she’s an agent for the IAA, and her boss forces you to take down links to terrorism and threats to homeland security, in exchange for not having 100 murders pinned on you, and helping find the man who betrayed your unit. So, in a way, I think I should thank Karen for entrapping me in her honeypot operation.

14. Trey “Playboy X” Stewart (GTA IV) - Scumbag. Just an absolute scumbag. He stopped caring about his former friend/mentor Dwayne, and wanted to kill him after the latter has Niko kill the gangsters managing the Triangle gentleman’s club, a club Dwayne ran before his incarceration. When you get the choice to kill either Dwayne or Playboy, and you kill Dwayne, not only does the game let you know in a sad way you picked the wrong choice, but you’re everything that’s wrong with this world and I wonder how you sleep at night! I kill Playboy because not only do I (and Niko) sympathize with Dwayne, but I get his penthouse apartment and the classic Claude outfit!

15. Lance “Ryder” Wilson (San Andreas) - Could it be possible that Ryder calls you a buster because he himself is a buster? Also, what are your thoughts about the possibility that Ryder wasn’t originally meant to betray you? It still doesn’t detract from the fact that he seems to hold CJ in the most contempt out of everyone in Grove. Sure, Sweet was none too happy to see you again, but Ryder just can’t pass up every chance to call CJ a buster and comment on his “shitty” driving skills, which is obviously a meta joke referencing the chaotic way ALL GTA players drive (except yours truly). The only thing that shocked me when Ryder betrayed Grove was the fact that there was not even a mention of him, just Smoke! Still, I can’t help but feel his death was well earned for the way he’s always treated me!

16. Amanda De Santa (GTA V) - What do you do when you’re trapped in an unhappy marriage and divorce is just not an option? You cheat on your husband with literally EVERY man you come in contact with! In her defense, yes, Michael is by zero means a good husband or father, and she was faithful to him till she caught him cheating on her with a stripper. The thing I hate most about her is forcing me to do yoga in GTA. I play this game to cause chaos, not to seek enlightenment! Honestly, the De Santas’ marriage is like Walter and Skyler White’s marriage on steroids.

17. Devin Weston (GTA V) - Not all rich people are bad, right?! RIGHT?! Devin is the billionaire contact for the corrupt FIB division Michael, Franklin, and Trevor are forced to work for. He has Michael work with movie producer Solomon Richards on his latest film, and has Franklin in charge of an operation to steal five exotic vehicles. Things don’t work out well for our heroes though, as Devin cheats Franklin of his payment for the cars, and plans to cancel Michael’s movie production right before they finish, shut down the studio, tear it down, and redevelop it into condos after he gets a tax payout. Fortunately, the movie still happens, infuriating Devin. I don’t think he cares that Molly gets killed when Michael takes the film back, but he just doesn’t like that Michael made a fool of him. His death at the hands of all three protagonists was cathartic (yes, the “Deathwish” ending IS the canon ending!)

18. Simeon Yetarian (GTA V) - Somehow, Simeon found out that I’m making this list, and I’ve added him to it. You know what he said? He said I was a racist. Simeon runs a shady car dealership, where he gaslights his clients into buying his lucrative vehicles in his showroom, taking advantage of the fact that he’s Armenian and calling them a racist to get them to buy the cars at exorbitant interest rates that are nigh impossible to pay in full. When they inevitably default on their payments, he has his employees Franklin and Lamar repossess them. I’m glad Michael beat the ever-living shit out of him when he targeted his son Jimmy in one of his schemes. Call that karmic retribution. It does get Franklin and Lamar fired though, but maybe it’s for the best.

19. Jeffery “OG Loc” Cross (San Andreas) - You know that one kid in high school you just can’t stand cause he’s an annoying poser? Yep, that’s Jeffery. Oh sorry, “OG Loc!” This wannabe gangsta rapper gets himself thrown in jail just for minor misdemeanors just to help his career, which only skyrocketed because he stole Madd Dogg’s rhyme book, quite simply because he is absolutely awful at rapping. And his voice… I honestly wanna put a cheese grater to my eardrums. And you know you’re perpetrating when you gotta call yourself “OG Loc,” and you just gotta say you’re “gangsta,” just to drive your point. This character is absolutely unlikable in every way imaginable.

20. Manuel Escuela (GTA IV) - “The streets, man!” Manny is one of the most, if not the most, annoying characters IN GTA IV. Literally every sentence he utters the words “the streets,” and “man!” He even claims to have been one of the inventors of hip hop before it went commercial. His crusade is to “help clean the streets,” including busting and killing drug dealers (or hiring Niko to do so and take the credit). I was honestly both shocked and relieved when Elizabeta Torres shot and killed him when he harassed her for dealing drugs. But, he gets his organs harvested in the black market, so I guess he finally gets to help the streets after all!

21. Eddie Pulaski (San Andreas) - The instant I met this prick in the beginning of the game, I already looked forward to the moment you get to kill him. An officer of the corrupt C.R.A.S.H. division, and Tenpenny’s right hand man, Pulaski is cruel, sadistic, and racist. He carries out Tenpenny’s orders with little to no hesitation, and constantly taunts CJ. Right before CJ finally does him in, he smugly requests to have sex with CJ’s sister. Pulaski, you were a scumbag to the end.

22. Vladimir Glebov (GTA IV) - Ever played any game at all, and you come across one certain character, and say to yourself, “Can’t wait till I inevitably kill this prick?” That’s Vlad to a T. He’s rude, obnoxious, and inconsiderate. He always boasts about his “powerful friends,” being a debt collector for the Faustin Bratva. The straw that broke the camel’s back was him boasting about his affair with Roman’s girlfriend, Mallorie. After Niko kills him, Mikhail Faustin, despite not being particularly pleased that Niko killed one of his men, nevertheless despised the idiotic Vlad. He only kept him around because Faustin had sex with Vlad’s sister. So much for your powerful “friends.”

23. Maria Latore (GTA III) - Look up the phrase “gold digger.” Chances are you’ll end up with a picture of her. Maria is the trophy wife of Salvatore Leone, and it’s obvious they do not love each other at all. Maria only married him because he’s a rich and powerful Don of a Mafia Family. She’s also the reason Claude becomes a marked man for the Leone Family. She told a paranoid Salvatore that she and Claude were having an affair just to spite him. Honestly, if I were Claude, the moment she got kidnapped by the Cartel, I’d just let her die instead of paying $500,000 to my ex-girlfriend.

24. Bruce “Brucie” Kibbutz (GTA IV) - Business entrepreneur, “alpha male,” and steroid junkie, Brucie is the one guy you’d see at the gym that’s very obnoxious about his workout. His mission thread involves you killing some people just because he’s suffering from ‘roid rage. He one of the characters that can call you every five minutes outside of missions, a mechanic that most GTA players hate. Honestly, Brucie, I’d much rather be hanging out with Little Jacob. In TBoGT, his brother, Mori, is MUCH worse!

25. Roman Bellic (GTA IV) - “Cousin, let’s go bowling!” The thing that breaks it for most gamers is the infamous phone call seemingly every 5 minutes when you linger too long outside of missions. Roman also has a gambling problem that has constantly gotten himself and his cousin Niko into trouble. In the end of the game, you can be a real asshole and take the deal ending and get Roman killed at his wedding!

[lucindarobinsonvevo]

i really want to share this because i think i was so smart to come up with this and i dont think i'll be finishing karma is a bounty hunter anytime soon. here's the twist:

Elle would be speaking on the phone to Tash and Andrew, and she starts complaining about this Ristic dude who's been the one spearheading the campaign against her and Harlow.

Tash would be like hmm interesting. have you considered that it might actually be pronounced Ri-Stich, which is a common Serbian last name.

Elle pauses, then goes I'm such an idiot!! and goes on to explain that Ristic is Lil's maiden name but she's only ever heard it spoken, never seen it written anywhere. Then goes on to say that she's only ever met three serbian people not including Tash. Lil, Serena...And the guard outside Robert's room (Robert attempts to kill himself *actually a murder attempt) who won't let her in to visit him despite her being explicitly named as his POA. Andrew asks how she knows his last name, and Elle explains that she can't see his name tag because he's wearing a coat but that one of the other guards called him by it earlier.

Then, she delivers the big fuck off twist. She can only think of one person who would care about getting revenge on her and Robert...Lil's eldest son Luka Dokich. She's been trying to speak to him for an interview for years but she's been searching for the last name Dokich, it never occurred to her he would have changed it to anything else. Realizing that Robert is probably in danger, Elle, without any allies left (Paul disowned her in part one, Riley is still in Sydney, Nicolette and Leo turn their backs on her in part three when she reveals that she actually could have given David a kidney, however she had made a choice to save it in case Harlow might need it later, Harlow tells her that she'd kill herself to get away from her too after Robert's alleged suicide attempt etc. it's the dark before the dawn basically) runs out of her hospital room, and up to Roberts. Robert is not there, the door is open and there's a small trail of blood from a removed IV...And crushed jacaranda flowers going up the fire escape.

Jacaranda flowers were going to be a repeating image in the story. They appear in the first part only on Elle's computer (she has Beneath the Jacaranda as her wallpaper), but in part two they would show up when she meets with Riley in Sydney and they walk under them in a park. Then in part three they would have shown up again when Elle arrives back at Lassiters and she follows a trail of them to another hotel room where Luka is spying on her and Harlow from, and for a third time when she's pushed down some stairs by him she's got one in her hand. In part four they would have shown up in Elle's extended dream sequence that takes place in the Plane from the Plane crash, where outside the window they're like, raining on them, and again after her long talk with Helen in the second part of the dream sequence she begs to be allowed to see Cameron before she goes, Helen agrees and lets Elle out into the backyard where he's waiting for her under some jacaranda trees. Finally, in part five they show up twice. Once, on the way to the prison with Harlow to see Robert they pass a car that has crashed into a Jacaranda tree before receiving the call he's tried to take his own life (and Harlow is angry that Elle is his POA not her) and again to lead Elle up to the roof top where she begins her confrontation with Luka to determine if Robert is going to live or die.

Part of the reason I havent actually started writing this is that it's too daunting lol, and also I haven't done that much research into Luka's episodes so I'm not sure what his actual fate is/if he has a personality that would lead her. not that it matters I guess neighbours can make a baddie out of anyone. But anyway if you were curious about the ending of Karma is a Bounty Hunter, then. here you go!

[wildcards1407]

Travel Documents 129: Bang Bang Bodhisattva

by Aubrey Wood

Genre:  sci-fi, near-future, cyberpunk, bio-punk

Publication Date: May 9 Pre-Order At This Link

The Dust Cover Copy

Someone wants trans girl hacker-for-hire Kiera Umehara in prison or dead—but for what? Failing to fix their smart toilet?

It’s 2032 and we live in the worst cyberpunk future. Kiera is gigging her ass off to keep the lights on, but her polycule’s social score is so dismal they’re about to lose their crib. That’s why she's out here chasing cheaters with Angel Herrera, a luddite P.I. who thinks this is The Big Sleep. Then the latest job cuts too deep—hired to locate Herrera’s ex-best friend (who’s also Kiera’s pro bono attorney), they find him murdered instead. Their only lead: a stick of Nag Champa incense dropped at the scene.

Next thing Kiera knows, her new crush turns up missing—sans a hand (the real one, not the cybernetic), and there’s the familiar stink of sandalwood across the apartment. Two crimes, two sticks of incense, Kiera framed for both. She told Herrera to lose her number, but now the old man might be her only way out of this bullshit...

A fast-talker with a heart of gold, Bang Bang Bodhisattva is both an odd-couple buddy comedy that never knows when to shut up, and an exploration of finding yourself and your people in an ever-mutable world.

Quick heads up: this book is in pre-release, so this is a spoiler-free review. There’s more depth I’d love to dig into, but I’m hands-off until more folks have read it!

The Scene

Worldbuilding

Hooooo BOY. Buckle up. Here we go.

A high-octane story in the cultural tradition of Snow Crash, Minority Report and Blade Runner, Bang Bang gives folks in the queer community what they’ve been waiting for: a look at the cyberpunk world through their eyes.

In worldbuilding, Wood has taken cues from all your favorite wouldn’t-live-there-if-you-paid-me futures: the tech that argues with you has shades of The Fifth Element, the use of bionics and implants is reminiscent of Repo Man. And the harsh reality of gigging for a living and running on ice? Well that, we’re living right now. Mixed together, they make for a world I really enjoyed reading, but definitely don’t want to visit.

The Crowd

Characterization

Wisecracking, fast-moving Kiera is the POV character we’ve been waiting for. She’s clever, quick-tongued, a little bit of a spaz and an absolute sweetheart. She’s the type of quick-thinking trans girl who’ll yell ‘I got a dick!’ when a skeez wolf-whistles, just to watch him walk into a wall. She’s thirty years old, sick of the grind, and sweet-natured under the armor her world impels her to wear. Her foil is Angel Hererra. No wait, sorry, he changed that name, and that face, to get the world to give him a bit less of a hard time. It sort of worked…sort of. But it cut him off from part of himself too. And that’s never a good thing. On their side are a clever assortment of allies: the android studying law, the classy dame with all the threads to the underworld in her hand, and the indentured servant who really just wanted a better life. Underpinning the story is the sweet support of Kiera’s polycule, waiting at home with snuggles and bingeable TV. Cueing up the ominous music for this piece are Detective Flynn, who gives new meaning to being a dick, and several other impressive baddies. The characters, even those who aren’t fleshed out, are well-written and interesting. The ones who get more time on the page are rounded into wonderfully whole people. Most of them don’t fit society’s definition of ‘people’ for some reason. And with every move, they prove why they should.

Writing Style

Fast paced and sometimes brutal, this work is full of bright one-liners and witty zings. Like it says on the dust cover, it definitely has echoes of The Big Sleep going on, along with Snow Crash and similar zany takes on a dark future. But the author pulls on this setting like a favorite coat and wears it with style, making it fresh. I particularly enjoyed the showcasing of authority using legalism as a weapon against people who don’t fit: it’s a nasty part of the LGBT and minority experience that needs to be addressed. But I enjoyed watching our characters find their way around it even more!

The Moves

Plot

I’ll say this up front: I was not expecting these twists and turns. And I bet you won’t see what’s coming either, not until it’s right on top of you! Or, in most cases, right on top of Kiera. Poor kid.

(cue Kiera shouting ‘I’m thirty, dammit!’ in the background) In the classic neo-noir style, you have your crime, you have your slueth, and you have your unknown criminal. But the twists and turns that take us from ‘oh crap a dead body’ to the last page are nothing like you expect, and everything you want to read.

Overall Rating

A high-octane race through Cyberpunk City, with pit stops for queer love and solidarity.

[random-movie-ideas]

Batman's Mightiest Adventure (Movie Outline)

This is another outline for a movie set in the cinematic universe I've been plotting out, this one technically outside of the universe proper until the Crisis on Infinite Earths event, instead part of a series of animated films focused on more Golden Age heroes and villains.

The movie begins with our Batman and Robin, both very heavily based on Adam West and Burt Ward, in the middle of yet another battle with their villains. Likewise, these villains (Joker, Penguin, Catwoman, and the Riddler) are heavily based on their actors from the old show. The battle has a lot of comic flare in the sense of big animated POWS! and ridiculous bat-based weapons. In the end, Batman and Robin win, and the baddies get away.

The scene zooms out and we get to see a little imp from another dimension dressed in a Batman costume. He nerds out over Batman, using a remote to switch between various Batman universes. He does lament, however, that the universe he’d just been watching didn’t feature many of the later characters that appear in other worlds. Then he gets an idea (visualized by a literal lightbulb over his head).

We then cut back to our four villains sulking in their lair, annoyed by their latest loss and getting into interpersonal arguments because of it. A sudden burst of black smoke fills the lair, and a cloaked figure appears. This figure avoids giving his name, but tells them he wants to help them against Batman. He shows them a glimpse of all the other Batman universes, specifically scenes of all of Batman’s villains, from the Joker all the way down to Condiment King. He then uses his powers to bring them to life.

Batman and Robin are back at their mansion, having breakfast. Much like the Superman animated movie, I would like there to be a distinct visual difference to the characters (i.e. Clark had a scrawny nerd art design, but then Superman was the big top-heavy musclebound design with a big chin). For this distinction, I would like Bruce to have the snooty rich snob design to him, while Batman is a broody “L” type constantly in shadow. Likewise, Dick would have a teenage heartthrob vibe, while Robin would transform into a diminutive chibi-type. After a brief comedic scene between them, they get a call on the Bat Phone that the villains are up to no good again.

Our heroes rush to the bank where the villains are pulling off their heist. At first, they only see the main four again, and are taken by surprise by the army of other villains ambushing them. After a chaotic battle with lots of visual gags based on the various villains, Batman and Robin are defeated and retreat back to the Batcave.

As they are dramatically lamenting their loss, our imp appears, introducing himself as Bat-Mite, their biggest fan from the fourth dimension. He tells them he saw their last battle and says he wants to help. He shows them the same view of other universes, with hundreds of different Batmans, Robins, and other allies from all over the universe. Batman and Robin accepting his help, he brings them all to reality as well.

We cut back to city hall, where the Joker and his army of villains have the mayor, Commissioner Gordon, and everyone else important all tied up, and have a few deep-cut jokes between them all. The lights shut off, and Batman and Robin make a dramatic entrance, followed by their army of Batpeople. A war between the two sides ensues.

This war goes on for a while, with lots and lots of visual gags, but soon begins to spread its havoc over all of Gotham as the people flee in terror. Through all of this, we get the reveal of Bat-Mite and the mysterious figure being the hooded figure, and he laughs hysterically at the chaos, nerding out over all the different little battles going on.

Eventually, as Batman and the Joker are dueling in the middle of the city, they stop and notice all the carnage their war has caused on the city itself. They do a bunch of finger-pointing at each other until they both put together that they both received help from someone from an alternate dimension, and realize they’ve been played.

Bat-Mite is so busy having fun watching it all that he proves far too easy for Batman and the Joker to track down. The pair confront him and try to beat him, but he proves too slippery with his otherworldly powers. However, they notice he becomes annoyed whenever they act too friendly with each other, claiming it’s out of character. They then start going on a rampage of acting completely out of character, roping in the rest of their allies to act in ways they’d never act until finally Bat-Mite breaks down in a tantrum about them breaking canon. Batman and the Joker then point out that he broke it too. The little imp sheepishly admits defeat and zaps all the characters he summoned back to their own universes. He tries to ask for an autograph before everyone tells him to get lost.

The final scenes are narrated by Bat-Mite, lamenting that he lost but saying it was fun while it happened, watching with annoyance as the six characters left behind hang out at a diner after the battle. He clicks over to a different universe and notices slight cracks forming between those universes, asking if he did that.

What do you think? I thought utilizing Bat-Mite here might be a fun twist, and give some fun visual appeal, while also working in a bit of meta-humor about fans and fandom. Next up, we return to the main universe for "Son of Batman."

[bdbdhdjdhdh]

My Hero PSLE: Episode 8 "Life Is A Party And I'm The Pinãta,"

-Charles

"Birth is a curse and existence is a prison,"

-Michael

So ya'll all know about the whole Shadow Leaper shit that went the 3 days ago.

But Xiao Ming was legit sus of him man. Like, we all know he has zero iq, so he confirm cannot have break into school himself one. Confirm must have someone helping him one, hmmm....

So with Xiao the help of Xiao Kang, he create a parallel universe and got Shadow Leaper to tell him everything about his boss's plans.

Like he didn't even have to torture him man, just go "WHOOSH!" *creates parallel universe* "Wah! You cool sia! I will now forfeit all important informations to this guy now!" Like he legit has zero iq sia.

So anyway what they got from him was that, quote unquote, "Some guy here is actually a big baddie for all of the villains of the world who is trying to destory the school from the inside so that they can rule the world! But he said I'm stupid and won't tell me who."

Oh. Yeah no shit you're stupid. But anyway apparently there's a traitor in the school? Oh no, whoever could it be?

*glances at sus Grandmaster*

So now Xiao Ming and friends cannot trust anyone in the school liao. They cannot tell anyone and have to figure out who the sus impostor is.

Oh no. This is like real life among us liao. But first they have to prevent Shadow Leaper from randomly saying anything to anyone else.

Which, might we renind you, is trying to convince a zero iq man not to act zero iq-ly.

Like giving food to a starving man and telling him not to eat it.

So of course he went to go and tell someone. But luckily all the chers think the students are too stupid and won't bother to go check so like no one knows that they know yet.

Except for Zhi Hua.

That sigina had to go and actually torture him before he say what's going on (because clearly he doesn't have the skills to impress Shadow Leaper).

So anyway the xiaozarbor knows now.

So like one day he was just out chilling and then Xiao Ming and friends surprise attacked him and brought him to a secret basement and asked him there, "Ok, since you already know what's going on with our school, then you have to help us find the impostor!"

"Apa ini? Why should I help you?"

"Because otherwise I will torment you every night and then yo-"

"OK OK OK! I'LL DO IT I'LL DO IT!"

"Ah, liddat good,"

So anyway Zhi Hua was an ally now.

As much as the sigina was annoying, Xiao Ming and friends must tolerate him so that they could find the inpostor.

Real life Among us sia

[queer-as-used-by-tolkien]

Storyline Study: One Path Ends (S3)

First | Prev | Next (PoF)

So I said I’d talk about why I dislike One Path Ends, the last episode of S3.

Now, I love One Path Ends because 1) we go back to Orr, 2) ORR IS HEALING, 3) we get to kill Risen like the good old days and, for those of us wielding Caladbolg, we get to weep over it, 4) THERE ARE SYLVARI UPHOLDING TRAHEARNE’S LEGACY, 5) the ghost King Reza is still around ;alkjsdf;lakjsdf 6) well I think you get the point. “Callback nostalgia episode” yes, but not because of GW1, haha. I’m not saying none of this happened; I’m saying it’s not part of the Commander’s character arc.

The main reason is that it wasn’t originally planned in the pacing and arrangement of the rest of S3. Anet devs realized there would be a big gap between the end of S3 and the start of PoF, so they spun up an extra episode. Now, if it meshed nicely with the rest of the season, I wouldn’t mind, but it doesn’t. It ends on a high and happy note, which destroys the message and arc of the rest of S3, which is a negative Fall arc.

You go from one (1) ally and three big baddies, to being inducted into the Shining Blade (the Commander being desperately lonely and needing allies?) to completely making mincemeat out of all the doubts and insecurities that plague them in one or two combat sessions. That’s just… not how it works, in real life or in narrative story theory. That part I think can’t have happened right. I think the Commander’s trauma was just so bad it broke the system. I’ve spent some time analyzing the mechanics of the boss fight to see what psychological processes they’re manipulating, but it seems to hinge on “use the guilt to motivate you to do better! at some point you’ll hit rock bottom and after that there’s nowhere to go but up!” which. is. not at all how that works. That may have been what the Commander did, but in no way shape or form did it heal them from the trauma or in any way insulate them against it being used against them.

In fact, it probably made the trauma, the guilt, and everything else worse. If you’ve ever read the Wheel of Time, where Rand tries to “make himself harder” by reciting a list of all the women who’ve died because of him… it’s rather chilling to watch him get more and more closed off emotionally over the course of the series because the guilt of everything is too much, he can’t take any more. He shuts down and does his Chosen One duties, sacrificing everything he used to love, seeing his friends as pawns on a chessboard. Some of the other characters make it their mission to make him capable of laughing again, because he needs to be able to feel, to love, in order to fulfil his destiny. (I won’t spoil it for you, although if you play GW2 and can read fourteen books, I need to be your best friend.)

Anyway, that’s what would be happening to the Commander in this trial. Eventually they’d be hard enough that the trial just wouldn’t work on them. I don’t think it would take much, not when there’s nothing really at stake here and they knows it’s just phantoms, and not when they’s pretty hard already.

And that’s if the trial would have actually worked the way it was conceptualized. You can’t just beat up your own inner demons by yourself like that, without any emotional support. This is true for any trauma, much less the Commander’s specific ones, relating to loss and death as they do.

One Path Ends has to happen because that’s how we find the Eye of Janthir and find out where Balthazar went. We also get to kill Lazarus, because GW1 points - and also, because you can’t end a major season in a video game without a bossfight, and it has to be one where the player actually defeats the baddie. It’s just… not the baddie that’s at all important. (Why did we try to take him on with just the two of us, anyway?)

Take out it's significance to the narrative arc and the mission in Orr is a spark of green amidst the misery, it’s non-critical (it’s about Lazarus and not Balthazar), and gives the Commander something to kill. So it’s just a bunch of Things That Happened but didn’t change the Commander’s story arc or how they approaches their Lies.

Now, there is something I’ve thought about before: shifting One Path Ends from an epilogue for S3 and turning it into a prologue for PoF. (I’d still ditch the Shining Blade trial, though.) Being in Orr with its greenery, and the reminders of Trahearne, is the perfect preparation for the return arc the Commander is about to experience in PoF.

Like I’ve said before, the Commander isn’t a “blank slate,” they’s an Etch-A-Sketch. Anet has drawn a picture for us. There is a narrative arc. We can shake it up and do our own thing completely if we want, or we can keep and expound on Anet’s example. Their example includes this wonky One Path Ends for game-content reasons, and while I can’t bring myself to erase it completely (Green Orr is too amazing), I can negate it’s narrative impact or move it to a place that makes more sense.

[emma-d-klutz]

Ok the explosion of affection I felt immediately at Batman Unburied's Riddler being a condescending little jackass made me, like, really click in my mind how I feel about the character in a way that I can word now. And keep in mind, this is just going to be MY personal feelings and preferences and not real character analysis with reasoning behind it, so like if you feel differently, I'm not saying your take is wrong.

We good? Ok.

I think Riddler's best as an ally rather than an antagonist.

Why? Because he feels most like himself to me when he's just a little guy. A silly little billy with a genius intellect that he wholeheartedly devotes to riddles and puzzles and escape rooms just because that's genuinely what he’s passionate about and how he wishes to spend his time, and he will steal, hack, blackmail, and even take hostages as a means alone to this life's calling. He is a person who needs everyone everywhere to know all the time that he is the smartest and cutest person in the room or so help him god. He deeply loves Batman/Bruce Wayne in the way one who unironically called themself a “sapiosexual yandere” an online rp forum back when they were 14 deeply loves, and he will throw a tantrum if he doesn’t get enough attention. He roasts and gets roasted. He annoys and gets annoyed. He is just a funny little guy to me!

Now here's the issue:

In Gotham, rogues can be funny. Goofy - wacky even! It is in many ways encouraged. Securing your own campy gimmick is integral to getting into the rogue business there, and they mean it, the campier the better. HOWEVER, a rogue must still be seen as a threat. A real threat. Otherwise, you are nothing but a third string gag character.

So what is one to do with Eddie, who is a main and major rogue of Gotham's gallery so high ranking and OG he can contract and subjugate lower level villains into his plans and who is also just a funny little guy with motives that do not necessitate mass killings or disabling psychological torture? Well, I have seen properties tackle this by making him into a real threat with new or expanded end goals, and I have also seen properties decide to make him pathetic and snubbed, sadly relegated to a dejected gag.* And I don't particularly dislike or disrespect these as a whole. I'm more lukewarm to them, I guess. They still have my affection, but it is proportionally incomplete.

But when you make him an ally?

Well now! That’s a horse of a different color!!!

When Riddler’s an ally he can be competent and taken seriously while also being entirely a silly little guy who is insulting you and bragging. Full bombastic personality and full respectable skillset. AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH!! When he works as an ally, I go from “Eh, it’s the Riddler,” to becoming putty in this character’s gloved little jazz hands! And it’s not even about if he’s actually a reformed “good guy” or not. It’s entirely about letting him be powerful without making him scary. Er, to the audience. (You know, like how we know the Batfam scares the shit out of everyone, but as the audience, we’re not scared; we just think it’s funnier and cooler, because we’re in on it? I realize I’m overexplaining, and I thank you if you have read this ramble this far.)

I think comparable examples are Catwoman and Harley Quinn. Big, big name villainesses, yes. But Selina has always been more of a career thief than a coldblooded killer, and since she has a romance with the Bat, we don’t think of her as anything but an ally even when she continues to act as a rogue. She is allowed to cool and respected as a character without having to be the kind of crime you expect Batman to spend his time prioritizing. Harley, on the other hand, seems much more prone to murder now and forever, but because we always knew it was something she had been pulled into by the Joker, the audience already kind of saw her as an ally, and she often is one. Now she’s just a freewheeling antihero with a girl gang of roller derby baddies and other villainess/ex-villainess friends, associates, and love interests. And she’s still herself! She is just a funny little chick with a M.D.! She is bombastic and adorable and still very much able to pull her shit off. She annoys and is annoyed. A gremlin girl if you will. She is the easiest parallel, and I do not think it is pure happenstance that one of the times Eddie turned coat, she was involved in (and all the sirens were clients to) his detective agency. Nor, would I say, is it a coincidence that Eddie and Selina have also had a longterm friendship that’s-sometimes-slightly-more. Similar things are going on here, yaknowhaddimean?

But for some reason, Eddie’s switch to ally is the one of those three that just never sticks. And I have no theories as to why at this time. I just think, personally, that being a weird little grey-area character that is usually on the same side of the heroes is the best place for him. It is where he can best express being both a worthy rival and a little guy with glasses. You wouldn’t hit a guy with glasses, would you? Oh, you would. Ok.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk, and goodnight. 

*Shout out to instances that split the difference and go, "The Riddler will mislead Batman into thinking he's a real and present danger, but the punchline is no humans were harmed and he has tricked the Batman into playing riddles with him and hanging out." Those feel like an achievable, believable compromise and also are always funny/cute.

[lover-of-whatever]

One thing I love when writing characters is figuring out how they act around different people and why. Not just as a character study but as an analysis of their role in the story. I've been cleaning up the draft for a Sqsq rewrite, and I've come to realize that I've had to write Daroach differently from how I normally approach him. When writing Daroach I'll think of Lupin the 3rd because he's a more lighthearted silly take on the gentleman thief trope often accompanied by other criminals (well, it depends on the adaptation sometimes Lupin is just a massive ass). Because Lupin tends to be the protagonist, we the audience get to see him struggle and work to obtain his goals. He is still chivalrous and polite as a gentleman should be, but while he's mysterious to the public of his universe, the viewers at home know what he's really like. It's satisfying watch him work to earn his status on his many wacky adventures. Contrast this with most depictions of Carmen Sandiego, who tends to be the antagonist of the story. (I assume the recent Netflix show doesn't fall under this I haven't watched it yet) Sandiego is a mysterious figure who audience insert protags have to find with their basic geography knowledge. Sandiego is supposed to be this elusive figure who no matter how many times it seems like she's captured for good, she finds a way to escape. Her insane ability to steal anything and always escape when caught adds to the sense of wonder. But when the kid playing the game or watching the show figures out the answers to just where in the world she is, it feels all the more rewarding to have found someone as talented and cool as Sandiego, even if she escapes eventually (tbf she has to in a long running series). Now imagine if their roles were switched, if a protagonist Lupin never struggled he wouldn't be as fun to watch. If the antagonist Sandiego was caught struggling to steal a crown, then outsmarting her wouldn't feel nearly as satisfying. Yes they both are classic examples of the gentle(wo)man thief trope, but these tropes are still executed very differently because the characters serve very different purposes in their stories. Daroach currently in the series is just another one of Kirby's many friends, recent title Star Allies and his presence in that big steampunk themed merchline that happened a couple years ago seemed to think so. But in Squeak Squad he was the antagonist, a mysterious figure with mysterious motivations who Kirby crossed paths with multiple times before the (kinda) final showdown in his boss fight. Daroach was similar to Meta Knight as he appeared in Adventure in a... well a meta sense. But Daroach's role of main antagonist is stolen by Patrick Star last minute, and by the end of the game he and his gang apologize to Kirby for all the trouble they've caused. Daroach's little redemption seemed to be set up for future appearances. He would show up again in spin off title Mass Attack, where he is not the protagonist so much as the exposition fairy, and he dumps 300 goddamn lines of dialogue helping out Kirby(s) during their adventure. Daroach has been placed in "good enough guy" status and the once mysterious criminal is now just a dude casually talking about how much he loves his mouse gang and that time he went searching for treasure as a kid. He has taken a wildly different tone, but that's because of different circumstances. At first Kirby/the player were his enemy, and now Kirby is his buddy he feels like helping out and is comfortable making small talk with. Daroach himself says “I’ve always been a big fan of underdogs. I guess that’s why I’m helping you out.” Years later in Star Allies he is playable in Guest Star mode, where he and the player have to solve puzzles and battle baddies. He briefly becomes the protagonist and all that comes with it, even if it's all done through gameplay. When I think of the character I think of how his Mass Attack dialogue characterized him, but in the process of drafting out a Sqsq comic adaptation (I never finish any big projects don't expect anything to come out of this) I've had to cut out sections from his pov, not just for the sake of pacing but because that would ruin the cool and mysterious persona he's supposed to have in this particular story. He is still the same guy that would joke about love-me-nots in regards to giant man-eating plants, but only if he sees you as friend rather that foe. In reality he's been tackled by many different writers and this is just me trying to justify the differences, but it's still intriguing nonetheless analyzing how different roles in a story emphasize different parts of a character.