#but he's going to stay and make it BETTER. because people like garak fucked it UP and now EVERYONE in his family is DEAD

[fauvester]

young elim's childhood infection also affected his hearing (which is ALREADY bad because, you know, cardassians.) he's finally started to wear the hearing aids julian got for him. whenever garak starts getting on his ass about proper cardassian culture he turns them off

[thegeminisage]

STAR TREK UPDATE TIME, holy shit! tuesday we watched ds9's "a time to stand" and "rocks and shoals."

a time to stand:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGH

i feel like ds9 is so fucking good every episode i rate "watch" on ym spreadsheet would easily be "must see" in any other trek show. where do i even fucking start

i love that theyre just casually mentioning bashirs darkest secret in playful banter now. theres something in there that makes me very emotional but also it's extremely funny. also, he really DOES quote percentages like a vulcan. whatever he and garak were doing, i don't know what that was but i loved it. literally his boyish smile

oh speaking of couples. KIRA AND ODO. they've got the station all to themselves...um, e quark. i did get deluded for a hot second, when they were all at the bar together, into believing in kira e odo e quark. i don't think that's going to be a permanent feature in my psyche but it was fascinating to experience just once

ODO. MAKES HANDS. TO TOUCH PEOPLE WITH!!!!!!!!!!!

no one made this gifset so i have to make do with a screencap

HE MAKES HANDS TO TOUCH PEOPLE WITH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i may have had to pause the episode to start screaming

also. hi. "im glad you can still smile" "only when im with you" what if i threw myself into the sun

dukat and kira, holy shit. i've never been so scared in my life. i think about it all the time that he essentially called leeta into his office to fuck him. he BLOCKED KIRA'S EXIT. jesus christ we've come so far from his gay little fireworks show and the thron in his ass

odo manipulating weyoun who's obsessed with him <3 king. but he only did it because <3 kira asked him to. he literally said i've walked this horrible horrible line before i can do it again...their relationship is somehow moving forward because they are going back in time

and like GOD she knows he loves her and she hasn't decided how she feels back but somehow it's still comfortable because he doesn't ask for anything...IMPECCABLE fucking vibes. WHO is doing it like them

on the spaceship side, all of that was very fun, especially sisko and his <3 headaches. but even funnier was them getting stuck 17 years away from help. JUST like. star trek voyager

rocks and shoals:

AND IT GETS BETTER!

kira in this episode. mwah. she quite literally can't live with herself and it's SO clever because at first you the viewer are also like aaaa no dont let the bajorans protest aaaaaa theyll get in trouble and then kira has the change on heart and youre like oh shit. oh fuck. whose side am EYE on?

also, the fact that this was also odo's kneejerk reaction, and she said "don't make me fight you too" and he immediately fell in line. that's love.

garak's "oh, NO" as they were falling. please let the man say "oh shit"

o'brien ripping his pants <3 incredibly funny i felt like i was getting loopy right along with them. the wide shot of the flaming ship sinking into the sea as they laughed their asses off.......cinema

poor dax!!! she tries so hard to be brave but man she really did get fucked up

the little vorta freak in this episode...i want him dead. what an evil thing to do to your own guys AND one of sisko's people died too because of it. ik they won't kil him but they should kill him

i wasn't expecting the thing between garak and nog to have like consequences but it was funt hat they brought it back up. good for them and good for nog, even though i still wish it had been bashir on the post

julian being so chirpy and cheerful w the vorta after fixing him up as though he is a normal patient...sir please control yourself

my only complaint is i wish jake had more to do...right now he just seems to be getting underfoot, when staying behind was supposed to be a sign of maturity. hopefully all his reporting isn't for nothing!!!!

TONIGHT: voy's "day of honor" and "nemesis"

[darfeld]

Star Trek Wars

Trying to escape some remnant of the Empire, Luke jump to hyperspace a bit too close from a Black Hole. When he emerge into regular space, his hyperdrive is fried and his computer can't say were he is in the galaxy. In fact, it seems he actually jumped galaxy. With no frame of reference he doesn't know he also traveled through time.

Fortunately, a huge spacecraft soon arrives. Communication between ship take some time to establish, but with the help of R2 (and presumably from the people on the ship working on the problem too), they are able to establish audio contact. The troubles aren't over, however, since they don't speak the same language or any language known to Luke, who regret the absence of 3PO. Finally, the huge space craft decide too invite Luke to fly his X-Wing into the shuttle bay, through means of elaborate shuttle dance. Luke, having little options at the moment and sensing no ill intention from the people of the big ship, accept. With the help of a woman which Luke later learned she was counselor Deanna Troi, Luke's language is analyse by the computer of the space craft named Enterprise. R2's "binary" language is also deciphered and know Luke can hear him speak in basic, which is weird. He suspected his robotic friend had a flourished language but he did know half of it as it turns out. R2 is equally weirded out to hear Luke speak in binary. Picard allow Luke to stay on board as emissary of another culture, and promise to help him get back to his galaxy if the occasion arise. It might take a while. Luke allow the engineer of the Enterprise to have a look at his X-Wing. Geordi is baffled as it is not like anything he has seen before. Even stranger than Borg tech. Luke learn about the federation of planet and is amazed by the post-scarcity society in place on earth. Also by the replicator. He spend a not insignifiant among of time trying to make it replicate blue milk. Data and R2 have long conversations about their experiences as robotic sentient being. Along the way, the Enterprise stubble upon a new civilisation with some fucked up shit going on. Luke want to do something about it. Picard explain to him the prime directive.

Luke is like "You know what, I'm not Starfleet."

Picard is like: "I can't let you go down there wreck havoc, I would violate the prime directive by proxy."

Luke is like: "Yeah well, try and stop me then."

Obviously Luke gets down there, solves the problem of the day. Picard is pissed off. Say if Luke is going to be like this he can't let him stay on the Enterprise. He still commit to help Luke go back to his galaxy if he find something useful while exploring the galaxy. Luke says well if that's how it is, you can leave me to the nearest outpost, because I can't let injustice happen doing nothing, so it will happen again. Luke and R2 are left at the space station DS9. He make friends with Jadzia, Worf (Worf immediately respect him as a warrior), Quarks (he missed having a scumbag in his life), Garak, even Benjamin once they get to know each other a bit better. He has an interesting relationship with Kira. They talk about religion, fighting an empire, being in the resistance, etc... They flirt a bit but nothing come out of it. Partly because Luke learn about the Maquis at some point and decide to go check on them.

In the Maquis he meet Chakotay and join his crew, just before they are sent at in the delta quadrant. It baffle him to learn the voyage home is suppose to be 70 years long. Sadly he doesn't know enough about hyperdrives to help with that. He has a lot of heated discutions about the prime directives with Janeway, and he end up in the bring a few times for disobeying orders, though nothing serious enough Janeway would actually leaves him behind. He plays with the limits often enough though. All in all, even Janeway get a quite nicer experience than normal out of the arrangement, and the Voyager even arrives home in half the time. At home, with the data from Voyager and the reverse engineering done on the X-Wing's hyperdrive by Geordi, a solution is found to send Luke in his galaxy far far away. Luke thanks everyone for the help and the experience, and come back to the new republic with a lot of interesting idea for a new form of government and society, and a stolen replicator.

[ur-friendly-nbhd-cardassian]

I've just re-read my biggest fanfic achievement in English, my DS9 fan novel, and.... it was so fucking good. I thought it was boring and I've gotten much better since then, but it's still gold. It could use a new polish, because in many ways I have gotten better, but it's gold. And it deserves the sequel I've been promising.

I can't believe I wrote this. It's like the story was already alive somewhere and it just used me to be told through. And there's so much more that needs to be said... too bad there's only maybe a dozen people who care xD.

But reading it again (even just a third, the part after the comment I've recently received after a long time of silence) reminded me of the most important reason why I write: I wanna be the one in awe, having fun reading my own stuff some time later. With luck I'll be old one day and I'll have all these memories to go over again. It's like a time machine for your mind.

The Casualty will need an overhaul, and I'm thinking I'll start with that to get back into the DS9 groove... and then I might have enough motivation to start the sequel again. And I think that this time I won't care about anyone saying it's boring. I can't please everyone. I will aim to please myself... and whoever happens to like what I write will be an added bonus.

There will be more Garak this time around - even Garashir, eventually, in hints - but gawd, let me do it my way. Being force-fed Garashir in every fucking DS9 group was exhausting. So I'll stay away from fans for as long as I'm writing. There's waaayyy too much Garashir without me adding to it, so if it's not up to the fan's standards, whatever - I'm writing this for Damar. He's the reason this huge feat of a novel exists in the first place - and he deserves the spotlight, especially since he doesn't have many fans.

Oh well. It makes sense that very few people are burdened with such impeccable taste 😈

[bijoumikhawal]

For the ask game: 1, 12, 13, 49 :)

1. Top 3 favorite female characters?

Mmmm. Keiko and Kira are up there, definitely. Also I find Nurse Jabara very conceptually fascinating just because she's the nurse who we know helps Julian handle Garak- I think it's probable they just use her name a lot, because shes usually the nurse named in scenes, but there's implications there! Is she the head nurse? Do the two of them just work well together? Etc. I liked how Everything is Fine by Arati_Mhevet looked into her and a lot of other characters

(Lwaxana is not here because I am not especially familiar with TNG)

12. Top 3 NOTPs?

I've mentioned I don't like j*les because I find the fans annoying and I think their relationship is not like. One I actually think most fans can write well as it is in Canon, much less in a romantic context (because to me, underlying everything is that Miles is a white guy and a space racist, and his fixation on Julian being better at racquetball than him in that one episode made me feel very uneasy, as well as the Jem'hadar episode), and I don't like how people treat Keiko there (like, they're really just pushing her out of the way even if they're going "yayyyy polyamory", and wishing Keiko was more like a man is kind of homoerotic, but in context it was. Definitely meant to be misogynistic.).

Another strong ick for me is Kira/Dukat. I don't think Kira would even hate fuck him, they dont have that kind of relationship or chemistry, and I think Dukat should be court ordered to stay 50 feet away from any Bajoran ever, especially women. It could be interesting if Kira had a different way of interacting with Dukat (I have, after all, read Sloan/Bashir fic) but she simply doesn't. Their relationship mostly consists of Dukat chasing around the daughter of a woman he kidnapped and raped, who has no consideration for him unless he's making problems for her.

Also like. Garak/Ziyal, which does not need. Explanation.

13. A ship you wish had been canon and why?

Funnily enough, I don't know if I wish garashir was Canon lmao- at least not during DS9's original run. I trust Andy and Siddig, but they would not be the ones writing scripts for that- it would be the actual writing team, and 1) I think Star Trek specifically isn't very good at writing Canon romances, and often writes stuff thats lackluster or creepy, 2) the TV problem of finally paying off years of tension and writing a relationship so bad you wanna punch the screen, and 3) the added fact that this would be Gay Shit in the 90s with a straight writing team and Berman on high... you know one or both of them would die or something

49. A favorite ST fic?

What, just one? There's so many though! Interpersonal studies by @johannestevans, @ofhouseadama's debut work, Stubborn Mouths: Humans in Translation by Hannah, a bunch of stuff from @wanderingwriter87, @irresistible-revolution's work... and that's only a few!

[lorenzobane]

Julian and Leeta's relationship is weird because they were together for about a year. She is far and away his longest canon girlfriend (aside from offscreen Palis). And… well, it's not that he seems like a "bad" boyfriend; he just never seems much more than generally fond of her. When they break up, he's more or less ambivalent- he's really only upset that she's into ROM of all people.

And I feel like this does a couple of things for me.

I feel like I better understand him and his ex-fiance now. Like I think if Leeta hadn't broken up with him, he would have just stayed with her and been reasonably happy. Maybe even proposed one day, because why not? She's the one to end the relationship, but at no point while they're together do I get the feeling that he's... particularly into her at all.

In fact, the periods he was the most into her is when he was trying to seduce her (see: the PADD with the "go away" on it)

It really clarified for me that I think it's just that he's fundamentally a chaser. He likes the hunt. Not just with women (although that's what we're talking about). He's just a striver; he wants to win awards, he wants to learn and do hard things, he wants to cure impossible diseases. In fact, my whole theory is that Sarina is a literal manifestation of this- she is not only a challenging medical puzzle but also slightly distant from him.

I think Julian really prefers people when he's chasing them. Once he has them, I think they bore him a bit. He doesn't leave them, but he's so generally detached that they eventually leave him (or he fucks off to run away and join the Space Circus).

Even with Ezri- he claims to be "passionately in love with her" (in THE most deadpanned tone I've ever heard. I literally laughed when he said it bc I thought he was kidding), but once they're together, it seems like he's already detached. Their whole conversation at the very end when they're discussing what Holosuit program to use, it was just very... Not engaged.

Idk- it's interesting because I was thinking the other day about whether or not Julian is "good" with women- and offscreen, he seems like he's doing great. We get tons of throw-away lines about him dating and banging tons of women. But he's a disaster on screen because he's generally pursuing women he actually wants to date on screen, and these are women who typically reject him.

Just an interesting character trait, and incidentally (not to make this about Garak), I think that is another reason why their relationship might be the only one Julian could ever find long-term happiness in. No matter how much of Garak he ever has (and it might one day be a lot), it will never be the whole thing. There will always be something to hunt for. Some mystery that has been left unsaid. It would be enough to keep him actually interested.

Anyway! Just a theory- what does The Internet think?

[rotationalsymmetry]

General gripes about DS9 and gender (some spoilers) (content notes: some references to sexual abuse/trauma, and specifically spiritual abuse/sexual misconduct in religious leaders, also death/murder):

I swear to fuck these people do not know how to write female characters without shoehorning them into romance plotlines. (Or weird fucked up stuff, like when that Cardassian serial murderer kidnaps Kira.) Especially noticeable with Ziyal -- when Kira takes her to DS9, the writers apparently can't think of a single thing to do with a young woman other than ship her with a much older Cardassian. Then, she's starting to get her own life and make a name for her as an artist, and they fucking refridgerator her. The fuck. (And: the focus is on how her death affects Dukat, that fucker. Which, obviously sure it's going to affect him...but it's also going to affect Kira, who sees Ziyal as like a younger version of herself and was trying to protect her. And then Ziyal dies. That should have some sort of effect on Kira! And did no one else on the station make any sort of connection with her when she was there?) This is arguably not primarily a gender thing, but it is partly a gender thing: the show keeps demanding Kira find sympathy for her oppressors, over and over again. (This is a gripe fest: of course there's a lot of things about Kira's character that are done really well.) She keeps getting thrown in situations that show (some) Cardassians in more nuanced lights and that more or less force her into relationships with them, while meanwhile her old resistance cell friends all get killed off, her parents are dead, if she has any other family we don't hear about it, and she's basically left with no Bajoran friends even, as far as we know. She gets Bajoran lovers who... OK, about that. First, Vedek Bareil. Now, Bajorans are shown to have a pretty relaxed attitude towards their clergy (eg Kira is frequently rude to Winn even after she becomes Kai with apparently no consequences) -- but still. Vedek is roughly equivalent to, what, cardinal? He's high up in the heirarchy. And, he's put himself in a role of spiritual authority relative to Kira: she gets access to one of the Orbs through him. They've got a power imbalance and one that's connected to Kira's ability to do her religion. I don't care what the social norms are on Bajor that is 100% sexual misconduct on Bareil's part. If something went wrong in their relationship, it could fuck up Kira's connection to her faith. And in the show it's presented as no big deal.

(Star Trek seems to be aware of this when it comes to ship's captains! For all that Kirk notoriously fucks everyone, he never voluntarily (/outside of the mirror universe, outside of odd transporter malfunctions that split him into two parts, etc) came on to a crew member. But it's no less important for religious authorities.) (Also: this has nothing to do with celebacy. I'm fine with Bajoran religious figures being allowed to have sex and being allowed to have sex outside of marriage. But: a religious leader having a sexual relationship with someone who they're in a pastoral relationship to is wrong, and while Bareil isn't exactly Kira's pastor I think there is some level of, he's providing spiritual guidance to her. That means she's off limits to him, or should be. In the same way that bosses shouldn't fuck their direct reports, college professors shouldn't fuck their students, therapists definitely shouldn't fuck their patients, etc. Regardless of how they handle their sex life outside of those restrictions. And regardless of whether there's love involved or not -- romantic love absolutely does not make it better.) And then there's Shakaar, the former leader of her resistance cell. That she joined as a teenager. It's...yeah, it's been many years, yeah she's not directly under him any more, and yeah goodness knows a band of resistance fighters is probably not going to have a clearly written up sexual harassment policy so it's not necessarily unrealistic...it's not as blatantly "oh god no" as Bareil, but it's got some...is anyone thinking of potential abuse of power issues here? Anyone?

There was one episode where Jake and Nog were double-dating and it goes badly due to Ferengi, uh, gender roles not meshing well with Federation egalatarianism. And, then the rest of the episode is all about how they're going to repair their friendship. And I was thinking: we didn't see either female character either before or after, and why is a sexism issue being shown from the lens of "how can I, a nice guy, stay friends with my male friend who has sexism issues" and not "how am I, a young woman, going to deal with this affront to my basic personhood" or "how am I, a young woman, going to repair my friendship now that I talked my friend into a double date so I could date the guy I liked but his friend turned out to be garbage?" Like...out of all the potential relationships there, why is Jake's friendship with a guy with sexism issues (who's made it clear he's not going to change, at least as far as dating goes) the one presented as being in most need of preservation? I know, it's because Jake and Nog are more central characters and their friendship has been significant in the show for seasons now. But...that just brings up more questions. Like why does this show have a significant bro friendship between two teenage boys, but there's no friendship between two women (or between a woman and a man for that matter) that's given as much weight? There's some bonding between Kira and Dax, but it doesn't have the same presence and significance as Jake and Nog or, say, Miles and Julian. (I'm having first name/last name inconsistencies here. Ah well.) Keiko has no on-camera friendships. Kira has no on-camera friendships that have Jake & Nog or Julian & Miles weight. Dax maybe does with her Klingon buddies from Curzon's lifetime. (Benjamin Sisko also doesn't.) Ziyal could have, but doesn't. Molly could have, but doesn't. Miles doesn't seem to have any (on-camera or otherwise acknowledged) parent friends (like...there's one couple mentioned who can babysit Molly at times? That's it? We never even see them?), which is weird because fuck knows parenthood can make it hard to have any friends who aren't parents. Odo's got his weird frenemy thing with Quark. Garak has his standing lunch with Julian (if you read that as platonic, which ... yeah, there's not a lot of arguments for seeing it as platonic beyond "they're both men.") I am, don't get me wrong, extremely for showing male friendships. Very much for it. It's just...I want friendships that aren't between two guys also. And I want them to be shown as significant and meaningful and worth overcoming obstacles for. Friendships between women, friendships between people of the same race or culture (or alien species, since we are talking Star Trek here), friendships between men and women that aren't just a precursor to romance. And...parenting that isn't just...I want to see Keiko have problems with parenting that she overcomes with help from other people. I want to explore the emotional ramifications of Kira being a surrogate mom to Kirayoshi or being a semi adopted mom to Ziyal and then having her die. I want Kira to talk about how her own upbringing in times of famine and war and occupation affects her sense of her ability to potentially be a parent. I want a female character to calmly talk about her decision to not become a mother and have that decision be treated with the utmost respect. I want the sort of struggles that male characters have with parenting on the show, like Worf's difficulty connecting with his son or Benjamin's conflict over watching his son grow up and get less interested in spending time with his dad, be shown for female characters as well. And the joys, like when Benjamin remembers holding Jake as an infant, like when they reunite after Jake gets caught in a war zone. Rather than parenting be this thing that mom characters apparently do on autopilot without any internal conflict or feeling out of their depth or particular moments of joy and amazement. There's so many plot lines and moments and bits and pieces that could be amazing moments that give

mother characters balance and nuance and characterization, but they only ever get shown for fathers. (And this is not just Star Trek either...look at all the kids movies that are about father/son or father/daughter bonding, and somehow the moms...just aren't there. It's so good when there are single father storylines, just...where are all the mom storylines that could be like that?) And why do teenage boys get focus and their own stories (especially with Jake in DS9, but also TNG has Wesley Crusher and Alexander, and TOS had one story centering on a teenage boy) but girls either aren't there at all or don't get to have stories that are about them? Ziyal's stories aren't about her, she doesn't get to form her own friendships and only barely gets to develop an interest of her own before her life is taken away from her. Molly doesn't get stories that are about her. (And yeah, Molly's a lot younger than Jake, but those are still choices: DS9 could have been set when Molly was a teenager, or the show could have introduced a different teenage girl as a significant character, or Jake could have been a girl rather than a boy, or Benjamin could have had two children...)

[meatmensch]

I posted 2,795 times in 2021

226 posts created (8%)

2569 posts reblogged (92%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 11.4 posts.

I added 3,422 tags in 2021

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My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Maybe this is obvious to people with more than a few braincells but the three stories that Garak tells in The Wire represent all of the conflicting feelings that he has about his work in the Order and the occupation, and how his morals are developing and changing during his time on the station.

In the first story, he regrets killing a hundred Cardassian civilians in order to kill a few Bajorans. He claims that in doing this, he also killed Elim. In a manner of speaking he killed himself in order to follow his orders for the good of Cardassia and to appease his father.

In the second story, he regrets letting a few Bajoran kids go because at the end of the day he doesn’t think that interrogating people who don’t know anything is worth it plus he just wants to relax. “Elim couldn’t believe his eyes. He looked at me as if I were insane.” He was being merciful to those Bajoran kids because it served himself and some genuinely good part of him that wanted to do the right thing. The hardcore trained spy in him was like, “Um. Hello???” and the rest of him was like “Dude I’m so over it. Fuck ALL of this.”

In the third story, he claims that he framed Elim for letting Bajoran prisoners go, but Elim did the same thing to him first. He regrets betraying himself to stay alive, on Cardassia, and doing fucked up morally despicable shit; and in the end he still got exiled.

Also, “Don’t give up on me now, Doctor. Patience has its rewards,” is just as much him pleading with himself as it is him pleading with Bashir. It’s him thinking, “Maybe I can figure out what the fuck I actually believe in. Maybe I can redeem myself in whatever way I need to be redeemed, or at least do something good. Maybe I can lead a meaningful life.” And by the end of the series he does that. He didn’t give up, he stuck it out living in an on-fire garbage can, and in the end he clearly doesn’t approve of the Cardassian occupation of Bajor and believes that Cardassia needs to change and plays an active role in bringing about that change.

125 notes • Posted 2021-05-10 04:15:19 GMT

#4

frankly insane dean thoughts but what if, when he was making the mixtape, he kinda freaked out about the parallel between him and cas, and his parents. because he knows that wasn't a loving, healthy, safe, real relationship, and while he and cas aren't exactly perfect, hell, they aren't even together together, he wants to at least try to be better. so he thinks about "he knew the words to every zeppelin son" and wonders "do i even want to make cas a zeppelin tape?" and then he's like ummmm yes i do. duh. obviously. lol. my parents don't define me and led zeppelin is the tits. and i love cas. and you know what i'm spelling tracks with xx because i want to give him kisses.

199 notes • Posted 2021-12-07 07:45:47 GMT

#3

"Most people are curious about my extraordinary abilities. My extreme strength. How fast I can compute. No one has ever asked if my hair grows. :)" (I'm paraphrasing one of Data's lines from the TNG episode where Bashir comes aboard.)

Julian is a friendly doctor and is interested in how alive and human-like Data is. That in itself is very funky fresh! But also...from a Watsonian perspective...maybe that was a beautiful display of empathy.

Maybe Julian, an augment, met Data, this guy with superhuman strength, smarts, abilities, etc, who has been treated like shit by many members of the Federation and Starfleet, and thought, "If I were outed as an augment, the best case scenario is that I would be treated like Data. And he gets treated like shit, even in everyday situations with colleagues just like me. I bet he feels alienated. I bet he doesn't feel human. I'm not going to ask him to make big calculations or lift heavy shit. I'm going to ask him about things that remind him he is a being deserving of equality and respect." (Maybe not in so many words, but - actually, what the fuck am I talking about? He probably used more words. It's Julian we're talking about here.)

Then he did that. I can't even fucking imagine how Data felt. To have this kind doctor (He specializes in humans! He of all people would know!) just be like, "You're very human. Whoever made you clearly put a lot of effort into making you very human." When Data's whole thing is that he so deeply and truly yearns to experience humanity?

I can't fucking. Oh my God. Jesus Christ. Holy fuck

If only Data could have known! If only he could have known where Julian was coming from; how lonely and ostracized he felt. At least Data can be out - never had a choice - and at least with him there's not Khan-related stigma. If only Data could have reciprocated the validation that Julian gave him!

287 notes • Posted 2021-07-06 04:15:53 GMT

#2

old marrieds garak and julian be like "my dear doctor bashir :) is the cardassian heat getting to you today? your poor delicate terran body. let me get you a glass of rokassa juice :)" and julian's like "you must be going senile :) you know i fucking hate that shit :)" and garak's like "YOU must be going senile :) of course i remember you don't like it but don't YOU remember that it is great for dehydration" and julian's like "whatever. it disgusts me. YOU disgust me" and garak just gets him a glass of space gatorade and turns on the fan and says with all the love in his heart "and you disgust me my dear" and they're just like. so happy and in love lol

294 notes • Posted 2021-12-18 06:59:58 GMT

#1

dean goes to garth for a dental check up and one of the things he learns is that he really needs to wear a mouthguard to bed unless he wants to get a million root canals. garth makes him a fitted mouthguard and he grumbles and groans about having to wear it but he wears it everyyy night. he puts it in says "goob neigh casthe, i lobbe yeuo" and then snorkkk mimimi snorkkk mimimi. cas sees/hears this and is filled with lust

450 notes • Posted 2021-12-29 06:49:18 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[a-stitch-in-time-and-space]

Headcanon: Julian Bashir is autistic and has frequent sensory overload, and the only two people who can help him are Garek and O’ Brien. Me? Projecting? It’s more likely than you think!!!

Ha, moooood. Which on that note I have a somewhat intense fic here in which Julian has a meltdown. It’s not related to sensory issues so much as “oh boy a lot of shit’s happened to him” but if you want more O'Brien helping him out after this – so because we gave that fic to O'Brien, let’s give this one to Garak.

Also can we talk about the fact that it’s canon that Julian and the other augments can hear sounds at decibels that non-augments can’t and that it causes them pain, but Julian just taught himself to not react, like fuck, how did someone write this and not follow through on Julian-Bashir-is-autistic-and-or-otherwise-nd!

sorry for taking so long, a. this got a bit longish so it’s under a cut and b. I got distracted by the fact that I always want to see everyone’s notes on reblogs in case of interesting discussion points and i have just now learnt that that cannot be done easily if a lot of people reblog at once… oh hyper-fixation how you get me time and again

this takes place post-Doctor Bashir I Presume and alludes to the fact that during this time Garak and Bashir’s interactions were gradually stripped away in the show (because it too gay) - Andy Robinson ran with that in A Stitch In Time and had Garak write about how much he regretted the two of them not remaining close/hinted that he was in love with him… so take that background as you will.

—— More Space ——-

Thank goodness, he thought after an indeterminate amount of time. O'Brien was here. He would be able to calm him down, he would know how to come up with some soothing description of exactly which of DS9’s pistons or pipes or programs was currently making that noise and he’d either fix it or stay with him until it sorted itself out. Or maybe the noise was gone and the residual whining was just himself recreating it perfectly in his head, or maybe he was just too far gone by now for it to matter, but O'Brien would help. Since the two of them had become friends and some of Julian’s old ticks had returned after his augmentation had come to light, Miles had been a surprisingly steady presence in his life.

“Doctor?”

No, not Miles.

Garak.

He couldn’t make himself respond. His body felt like it was compressing him into a vice, with all his ability to focus somehow splintered into a million shards, each of them painful to the touch. Oh no, what if Garak touched him? If Garak touched him right now he might shatter or scream or something else entirely outside of his control, but talking was also impossible right now, so he couldn’t ask him not to touch, please don’t touch-

Garak sat down in front of him, far enough away that it didn’t feel like too… much.

“Doctor. You don’t need to say or do anything.”

He could manage that.

“I was wondering why you’d missed our lunch date. Very pleased to find you didn’t simply opt not to come without telling me, although I find the alternative to be distressing.”  He stopped talking for a moment then. “Apologies for breaking into your room. Again.”

While Garak simply sat and occasionally spoke Julian was dimly aware of the fact that he could feel his edges hardening again. The shards were being pulled back together.

He also noticed now that he was freezing. It usually happened like that, having sat sedentary for however long or coming down from some emotional extreme. He shivered.

“This station is cold,” said Garak.“The temperature, the lights, the people… all too cold.”

Julian managed a smile and it was like his mouth was freed from a curse. “It is, isn’t it.”

“Not to mention loud,” Garak added.

“All that machinery,” Julian nodded and spoke slowly. His mouth still needed to unstick. “Every time an alarm goes it’s like a sharp pain… I used to be… much better at this.”

“What do you mean?”

“I used to… I used to get these all the time as a child. Meltdowns, shutdowns, I think. But then my parents told me later that it was a side-effect of the augmentations and I tried to… to will myself to stop them, to bypass my natural instincts in order to not be found out and it worked, in a way, or at least nobody found out. I familiarised myself with and categorised any sights, sounds, smells, feelings I came across on earth during my Starfleet training and ordered them into lists and sublists: What I could handle mostly, what I could handle sometimes, what I needed to avoid at all costs. I managed to… to pretend. And then I came to Deep Space Nine and for awhile it was all too much again, I had to make new lists, but I managed, I really… I really did, I really did, I really-” he was talking himself into hyperventilating again, he knew this, but he couldn’t stop now, “- and then I got captured and it was like everything just stopped. I barely- I don’t even remember most of it, but when I got back it was so much worse -”

“Julian,” said Garak and the sound of his first name coming from Garak’s mouth surprised him back to the now. “Julian,” said Garak again. “You’re here. With me. On a floor that is quite cold, I might add.”

Julian breathed out and mumbled under the exhale. “One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten.”

“What is that,” asked Garak.

“Counting my fingers. It… helps.”

“Noted,” and the easy way in which Garak seemed to have just accepted that he would be helping Julian again in future was another shock to his system, but then why wouldn’t he? Even if they hadn’t met up as often as they used to. Even if he was untrustworthy at heart and Julian could never figure out why Garak wanted his company at all. He found he missed Garak’s simple and complicated nature. It grounded him, somehow.

He got up off the floor, reaching out for Garak when he stumbled. He held him just tight enough to make sure that he wouldn’t fall. Not overcrowding – Julian suddenly remembered that Garak was claustrophobic. He must know how easily sensory inputs could become too much.

At Garak’s questioningly soft hold on his arm, Julian nodded and he helped him to the sofa. “Would you like some water?”

Julian nodded. As Garak went to fetch it, he began to talk again. Somehow… he just needed to get it out now, like an excision. “After the truth came out my mother told me that they’d been lying. I mean, they’ve been lying about so much, but specifically about this. I’ve always been like this. Or. Some of it. The meltdowns. I thought… those memories weren’t real. But now they are? Some of them. I’m having trouble sorting them.”

Garak handed him the water.

“I developed a theory,” said Julian, forgetting to sip.

“Tell me your theory doctor,” said Garak, his tone of voice tender as he sat down beside him, again, close enough if he needed him, but not too close.

“I was wondering why a heightened inability to process inputs was a side-effect of the vast majority of augments, when I had this inability before my augmentation. I started to suspect that it was less to do with the augmentations and was simply… who we were. The augmentations gone wrong could throw that into extremes, but that may have more to do with medical trauma responses than… anyway, I can’t confirm until I have more data. I did research into my own developmental delays, the medical history – it’s fascinating how we repeat cycles actually, first it was considered a form of possession or changelings, then it began to be classed under a broad form of what would be known as schizophrenia, then divided into narrow and still somewhat inaccurate categories of autism, aspergers, adhd, add, high and low functioning etcera, and then was gradually broadened again under general brain-differences known as neuroatypicals or neurodiverse,” he took a breath and continued: “- I’m not too interested in 21st century history honestly, but I know the government upheavals affected medical classifications and concepts of what was known broadly as “disabilities” at the time, and that it fundamentally shifted again once we formed the federation. But then -” and here he started gesticulating widely in excitement or outrage - “it all becomes the same just repackaged, doesn’t? Stigma against augments who are overwhelmingly people like me is stigma against neurodiversity is stigma against the “possessed,” it’s…” he trailed off. “It’s all the same,” he finished lamely.

He’d become very aware suddenly that he’d done that thing that annoyed most of the people he ever conversed with, running his mouth while forgetting the other person. But Garak didn’t seem annoyed. He was listening intently, in fact. At the pause he even nodded and offered: “The history of such matters is different on Cardassia. Or rather, mental and developmental differences don’t get acknowledged on Cardassia.”

“Eugenics?” said Julian with a frown.

“Not as such. We don’t mind in theory, as long as everyone can perform the tasks they’re assigned to. It’s a… class thing. If you belong to a powerful family and are expected to do great things in the army or politics or the sciences, being unable to do so for any reason is usually – what is the term humans use? - “Swept under the rug.” But then someone like you, dear doctor, if you had been Cardassian it might surprisingly have been easier for you.”

Julian shook his head. “My abilities are due to my augmentations. I’d have been… I don’t know. Not me,” he said softly.

At that, Garak gave him a look that he couldn’t pin down. Something… surprised for a moment, almost? Then smoothed out into an enigmatic smile. “Perhaps. From what you tell me you’ve always processed like you do, you’ve just been given better tools to translate and more…” he searched for the word for a second, before landing on: “space.”

At that Julian burst out into an unexpected laugh. “I certainly have enough space out here. More than enough, I’d say.”

Garak’s smile deepened. “But it doesn’t matter. Either you were always going to be able to pursue medicine and the stigmas of your parents and surrounding society were preventing you from discovering that on your own, or your augmentations made you unlock new abilities. But on Cardassia someone with the kind of passion you possess would have done well, with or without them.”

“If I were born into the right class. And if I didn’t get arrested for being fundamentally against the militaristic state.”

“Naturally,” acceded Garak. “And I must say I’m quite relieved to find the incorruptible, perfect federation comes with its own flaws. One wouldn’t have expected it with the way humans constantly go on about it.”

“Oh, we go on about the federation? According to you Cardassia is superior in culture -”

“- oh, definitely -”

“- politics -”

“- without a doubt, my dear -”

“- criminal justice system?”

“- well, we’ve never brought a wrong case before the court-”

“- I know you’re just saying that to rile me up-”

“- my dear doctor, when have I ever been anything but sincere?”

“- when have you ever said anything you meant?”

“- I am offended, truly-” said Garak with a big grin on his face.

Julian found it the easiest thing in the galaxy to return.

“Remember to drink your water,” he was reminded, gently, before they continued their lunch discussion. It was a moment in which they both forgot that they had ever begun to drift apart in the first place.

—— The End ——-

[ameerawritesstuff]

Garashir from the prompt list: 8, 32, 40, 86 (Has anyone told you that you rock today?

Anon! You’re so sweet, omg! Sorry these took so long, I was on set all day, but here we are! I hope you enjoy :3

8 “You’re so fucking hot when you’re mad.”

“You’re so fucking hot when you’re mad.” Julian chuckled as he let his fingers graze over Garak’s shoulder ridges, earning himself a glare.

“Are you even listening to my complaints, or am I wasting my breath?” Garak snapped.

“Oh, I’m listening.” Julian smiled, clearly not deterred. “People keep buying off the rack and blaming you for the pants being too long.”

“What is the point of going to a tailor if they don’t expect tailoring?” Garak sighed. “I don’t know how to explain it any more clearly.”

“Look, Elim,” Julian smiled. “Most of your clientele is Bajoran. It’s not like they’re accustomed to giving their wardrobes special attention.”

“Chief O’Brien is not Bajoran.” Garak reminded.

“And once I told him he’s meant to get them hemmed, he stopped complaining and made the adjustment.” Julian pointed out. “But really, wouldn’t you feel better talking about this in the bedroom?” He purred.

“What is it about my rage that puts you in this mood?” Garak still acted annoyed, though he had a small smirk.

“Honestly?” Julian shrugged. “I like whenever you show strong emotion. You weren’t always this comfortable with me.”

“So when I complain you analyze the significance of my complaining instead of focusing on the complaints themselves?” Now he was clearly amused.

“You know damn well that your customers aren’t really the root of your displeasure.” Julian chided before gently running a hand through Garak’s hair.

“Well, they’re certainly not helping.” He grumbled. “But yes, it doesn’t take much to irritate me lately.”

“We’ll free Cardassia from the Dominion, Elim.” Julian whispered. “I promise you that.” He kissed Garak’s cheek. “We’ll get you home.”

“Even if the Dominion is defeated,” Garak said, shaking his head. “I doubt my exile will end.”

“Cardassia needs you, Elim.” Julian bit his lip. “And you need Cardassia. We’ll find a way.”

“You’ve learned to lie from me rather well.” Garak smiled.

“I’d rather be lying with you.” Julian breathed as he moved in to kiss Garak. “Let me cheer you up?”

“You’ve already succeeded.” Garak smiled into the kiss.32 “Trust me.”

“Trust me.” Julian pleaded as he watched the Cardassian man huddled in the corner. “Garak, let me help you.”

Garak didn’t say anything, he just remained shaking in the corner of his quarters. Julian had been so busy with the war, with making time to play darts with Miles, he’d stopped his lunches with Garak. Still, nearly every week he would get a message relayed from Nurse Jabara, saying Garak had tried to reach him. He’d been meaning to apologize, but something always got in the way. Julian felt so selfish and shallow when what got him to finally seek out Garak was when Jabara didn’t give him a message this week. He’d gone to see if Garak was alright, only to find him having a claustrophobic attack.

“Garak…” Julian said slowly as he cautiously squatted down to Garak’s level. “I’m sorry, this is all my fault.”

“Oh?” Garak swallowed. “Enlighten me as to how you gave me claustrophobia before you were even born.” He let out a nervous chuckle, that was really more of gasping for air than laughter.

“I’ve been ignoring you and acting like a real heel.” Julian sighed. “It’s not right. You’re my friend and I should be there for you, it’s just…” He bit his lip, knowing there was no good excuse. “Everything is so complicated right now, I’ve just been too overwhelmed.”

“I’m sorry I’m too complicated for you, doctor.” Garak spat. At least his rage was calming his fear a bit.

“You’re not too complicated. But…” He owed Garak a real and honest apology. “My feelings for you are.” Garak’s striking blue eyes were then completely focused on Julian. “I’m having trouble being a good friend to you because I’m being selfish.” Julian sat down beside Garak and leaned against the wall. “I want to be more than a friend to you.” He couldn’t look at Garak as he confessed, he stared at the floor instead. “I know you must find this pathetic, I couldn’t just stay emotionally detached like a good spy.” He gave a self-deprecating laugh. “But let’s be honest, you’ve always been the dashing secret agent and I’m just the easily wooed doctor.” Julian scoffed and then dared to glance at Garak. He was expecting an amused, possibly even sadistic, smile mocking him for being such a sentimental human. Instead, there was a look of wonder on Garak’s face. He wasn’t gasping for air anymore, he was just staring at Julian in shock.

“Doctor, what are you saying?” Garak whispered.

“I’m in love with you.” Julian gulped. He’d thought it for so long, but he never voiced it. “All of our lunches, I keep convincing myself that you might feel the same way. But then I end up being disappointed when nothing happens and I don’t want to resent you for just not thinking about me like that, though with everything else going on, I’m afraid I might place undeserved blame…” He shook his head. “I honestly don’t know what the logic was. It wasn’t a conscious plan. Just a stupid attempt I made to try and get over you. Instead, I just ended up hurting you.” Julian rubbed his face and sighed. “I don’t know what you want to do going forward.”

“My dear, you’re saying you’ve been harboring romantic feelings for me?” Garak’s voice was calm, yet skeptical. Julian laughed a bit and blushed.

“When I was in solitary in the camp…” Julian looked back at Garak with a guilty smile. “I used to fantasize about you coming to rescue me. I mean, it wasn’t so insane. I knew Tain was there and if there were to be anyone to expose the Changeling, it would have been you.” He licked his lips before speaking again. “Then when I saw you, I almost forgot myself and ran into your arms like a real fool. Luckily, Worf’s face is a bit striking so that shocked me enough back into good sense.” He chuckled.

“Doctor…” Garak put his hand on Julian’s shoulder. “You are the most beautiful and intelligent creature I know.” He moved slightly closer. “If I thought for a moment that you would have me, I’d be yours.” Julian couldn’t believe it. He didn’t know what to save. He stared at Garak for a few minutes, just repeating the words said in his head over and over again. Eventually, almost out of mercy, Garak stopped Julian’s mind from working by bringing their lips together.

40 “I’m running away.”

“I’m running away.” Julian finally explained, though that hardly explained anything. “Please, I’m begging you to help me.”

“Doctor, you came in here, asking me to help you create a new identity and give you any other information necessary to disappear.” Garak blinked, still trying to understand what was going on. “I deduced you were running away, but I’m trying to ascertain why.”

“I don’t want to answer that.” Julian said it as if he was being firm, but there was clear anxiety in his voice. “Look, I’ll pay you.” He was back to pleading with his eyes. “All that I have, it’s yours if you help me.” How often had Garak fantasized about Julian saying something like that? However, this wasn’t arousing, this was tragic to see the man he cared for reduced to looking so desperate.

“Doctor, I’m beginning to grow worried about you.” Garak said calmly. “You love Starfleet, I can’t imagine anything would make you want to run away from it all.”

“Damn Starfleet, Garak!” Julian shouted. “They’ve damned me, alright? The whole Federation has damned me for what I am!” Garak tilted his head in curiousity, causing Julian to sigh. “I’m a freak, Garak. If they had always known what I am…” He shook his head with a pained expression. “Please, I have to get out.”

“My dear…” Garak began before thinking. “Julian…” He said, causing Julian to look at him with surprise. “I would not wish exile on my worst enemy, let alone the person dearest to me.” What did Garak have to lose? Based on what Julian was saying, he’d probably never see the man again. “I think if you could not return to the Federation, you would die in ways you didn’t know you could.” He paused. “I know I would have if you hadn’t been there to save me.”

“The wire…” Julian breathed. Garak shook his head.

“Not just that, though that was certainly significant.” Garak gave Julian a small smile. “I would not have met you if it weren’t for my exile. As much as I despise my fate, I would repeat the actions that led me here a million times over just to have lunch with you one more time.” Had Garak really just allowed himself to say that? He was truly a sentimental mess when he thought about Julian. “Do you realize how lucky I am to have met you? If you weren’t in my life, I would have ended my exile long ago by ending it all.” He shook his head again. “I can’t risk your safety by hoping you’ll find someone like that while you hide everything about yourself.”

“Garak, please.” Julian looked almost as if he would break. “You don’t know what they’ll do to me.”

“I doubt you do either.” He said thoughtfully. “Will they kill you? Incarcerate you? I feel like you’re not even sure, therefore your mind is swirling with hundreds of imagined horrors. I assure you, that’s worse than anything your beloved and forgiving Federation will impose on you.” The next thing Garak knew, his face was pressed up against the wall and his arm was painfully twisted behind his back. He tried to break free, but Julian’s strength was greater than anything Garak could have anticipated.

“Help me now, Garak.” Julian bit back. He was like a caged animal, cornered and lashing out in any way he could.

“Or what?” Garak gasped through the pain. “You’ll kill me?” Almost immediately, Julian let go and collapsed to the floor. “Julian!” Garak exclaimed in worry. He’d thought something had happened to the doctor, that he was suffering some kind of attack. Instead, Garak found that Julian had simply collapsed in tears.

“They’re right about me, aren’t they?” Garak could see the beginnings of a panic attack coming onto Julian. “I’m a damned monster! I’m so determined to get what I want, I just attacked the man I love!” His sobs were choked by desperate attempts to get air. Garak found himself holding Julian close to his chest, shushing him and stroking his back soothingly. He wanted to tell Julian he loved him too. He wanted to ask how long the young man had felt that way. He wanted to kiss him and claim him as his own. But Julian was in no state for romance, he simply needed comfort and someone to be with him. Garak was more than happy to provide that for him.

“It’s alright, my dear.” Garak soothed. “You’re not a monster, but even if you were, I would still love you dearly.” 86 “Why are you walking around naked?”

“Why are you walking around naked?” Garak asked Julian in horror. There his lover was, sprawled out on the ground under the shade.

“I’m not walking.” Julian didn’t even open his eyes. “It’s too hot for walking.” Now he did crack open one eye to glance at Garak. “Too hot for clothes, as a matter of fact.”

“I warned you about Cardassian summers, my dear.” Garak sighed as he sat down next to Julian in the shade. “You really should stay with the other Federation relief members. Their quarters are climate controlled for this very reason.” Garak wiped a sweaty lock of hair back from Julian’s forehead. “You know I won’t be provided any sort of environmental controls anytime soon. All will be given to those most in need first.”

“The Federation Relief building is in the city.” Julian whined. “It’s at least an hour walk here from there.”

“It would actually be a pleasant stroll for you in the other seasons.” Garak smiled.

“It’s only summer that I would want to stay there though.” Julian reminded. “And in which case, I wouldn’t be able to walk to visit you in this heat.” He smirked. “Not clothed, anyway.”

“I could visit you.” Garak suggested. “It would make sense.”

“I’d have a roommate.” Julian shook his head. “Regardless, I don’t know if I can sleep without you beside me anymore.”

“I’m sure Kukalaka could fill the void of someone to hold.” Garak found himself lying back onto the grass beside Julian.

“It’s not just someone to hold.” Julian said, while he moved so his sweaty arms were wrapped around Garak. “It’s the feeling of being held that’s nice.” Julian nuzzled up closer.

“Honestly, my dear, sharing body heat is probably not ideal for you right now.” He chuckled as Julian only held on tighter. “Aren’t you going to ask me why I wasn’t here this morning?”

“Mm,” Julian hummed. “Let me guess, you were out making Cardassia a better society because you’re not only important, you’re damned good at your job?” Garak couldn’t get over how proud Julian was of Garak’s government work. No matter how small a task he was given was, Julian giddily congratulated him on its completion.

“Actually, I was picking up a package.” He stroked Julian’s wet hair again. “From Chief O’Brien.” Julian’s head shot up in surprise.

“Miles?” A large grin appeared on his face. “He sent you something?”

“He sent you something through me.” Garak kissed Julian’s forehead gently. “It’s a room cooling unit.” Julian was suddenly standing up with excitement. Of course, the sudden motion would have had him toppling over again if Garak hadn’t quickly risen to steady him. “Careful, darling. And please, don’t get too excited.” He shook his head sadly. “It only cools one room and it doesn’t evenly spread the cool air across the room, it all disperses from a centralized source.”

“You think I care at this point?” Julian laughed. “Come on, let’s set it up in the bedroom. I want to sleep with at least a sheet covering me instead of wishing I could peel my skin off.”

“It’s already set up.” Garak said. “I figured out of the three rooms, the bathroom and small kitchen were unlikely candidates for its placement.”

“Were you also maybe hoping I would be extremely grateful once my naked body makes it to the bed?” Julian purred with a smirk.

“I didn’t know you were naked when I set up the unit.” Garak sighed. “I assure you, my intentions were only to make your stay here a bit more comfortable.”

[kelasparmak]

Odo and Garak for the situations ask?

Fake dating/marrieds: there are two options. one is that odo is excruciatingly uncomfortable and people start taking garak aside to give him unwanted relationship advice for his fake marriage, or they slip odo cards with a divorce lawyer’s name on. garak finds this hilarious at first but, because it’s garak and he is a vain vain man, quickly becomes appalled at how everyone assumes odo has fallen out of love with him and he’ll be left heartbroken. maybe he’s moved on to greener pastures, guys, didja think of that?alternatively, and maybe less likely, garak is for once determined to properly be a good friend to odo, who in fairness has always been a good friend to him, and not do anything that might push his boundaries. odo on the other hand is a noir detective in his heart of hearts and immediately gets super into the roleplay/disguise element, and is surprisingly good at playing the part (because playing the part is what odo has been pressured to do for as long as he’s been conscious and self-aware).either way, it’s not what people expect it to be, and it’s sort of hilarious.

Bodyswap: odo uses his security codes to turn up the temperature in his room, breaks it, and causes environmental problems. o’brien gets pissed off with him, then figures out why and is sympathetic, and then goes right back to pissed off because garak has turned into goo to get into places he shouldn’t and hear things he shouldn’t, and o’brien just found him in his goddamn alamo replica.

Telepathy:  ANGST. angst happens. probably they bond over having daddy issues, but resolutely pretend not to be able to hear each other’s thoughts because they are stubborn pieces of shit who Don’t Do Sadness.

OH NO only one bed at the hotel: odo doesn’t use a bed so this is maybe not an issue. if it’s during the humanoid!odo time though, i can see a cuddling-for-warmth scenario arising. only they refuse to call it cuddling and come up with completely absurd periphrastic overcomplicated bullshit to make it sound like Serious Stuff that was unavoidable and doesn’t mean they’re friends or anything.

Accidental time-travel: oh jeez. i mean, probably the awkward bisexual disaster that is teenage garak turns up, right? that is generally the best use of time travel. no matter who he runs into he develops a crush, because it’s practically asit!canon that that is garak’s whole thing at that age. just crushing on everyone in the entire goddamn galaxy.alternatively, an au of ‘things past’, in which odo’s unresolved guilt about the things he did/allowed while an unwitting/uninformed semi-collaborator is actually addressed. if anyone’s in a position to talk to him frankly about Doing What You Gotta and not feeling worse about it than you have to, it’s sisko and garak. sisko, because he’s a good person and a bit of a martyr, might make odo feel worse, though he’s self-aware and empathetic enough not to do it as much as he could. garak, i imagine, could find the words to make odo feel more okay with what he’s done (if only because he knows that garak wouldn’t just say these things to make him feel better, though actually that’s 100% what garak is doing).

Their first kiss: hmmmmmm. can kinda see it happening near the end of ‘the die is cast’, just after they escape the trap laid by the founder, both of them very confused and not totally okay with what’s going on. but that’s not going to have been a great first kiss, so maybe… okay, a few options:a) they hang out a lot while garak’s in jail, because i don’t remember if it was ever clarified but if garak was in jail on ds9 that is potentially horrific, the holding cells we see on the show are tiny and have no privacy; hopefully a longer-term cell would be nicer but either way leaving that aside it’d mean he was spending a lot of time with odo. if he was in jail on a different station, which would prbably mke more sense, i like to think odo would still visit him pretty often, maybe even more than julian because i think odo ‘gets’ him more but relates to the lying etc less, which makes it easier for him to sympathise than julian, who empathises a lot but pretends he doesn’t and wishes that he didn’t. anyway they get really close over that time and when garak gets out they have excruciatingly awkward small talk and then a ‘uhh, hey, so… how ya feel bout… touching mouths…’ and then they smooch.b) also sad: when garak and kira realise odo’s dying just after they all leave for cardassia prime. everyone’s poly and that’s not an issue. odo is dying and that is an issue.c) they discuss odo’s awful romance/smut novels and the terrible descriptions therein, and it quicly comes up that odo’s never really kissed anyone before, so garak offers to help him get some experience, fully expecting it to be taken as a joke (as intended!), but odo’s like ‘yeah actually i do need some practice? this is one of those solid things?’ and……. the obvious fanfic ensues.d) the episodes ‘my way’ and ‘our man bashir’ mesh perfectly into one episode where they are both nerds in tuxedos who make out in an early/mid-20th century themed holosuite.

Meeting the parents: this has happened on one side already. i like to think that garak would be very very cutting to dr mora, with no reservations about how he has to be nice to odo’s ‘dad’ and not cause problems in their already fraught relationship. also probably sabotage several little things to make sure that his stay on ds9 is awful, though nothing that’d actually damage him. probably. maybe a lot of ‘accidental’ electric shocks from ‘accidental’ wiring faults, though. turnabout’s fair play.

Moving in together: odo puts his bucket in garak’s room. garak tucks several blankets and a space heater under the desk in odo’s office. DOMESTIC AS FUCK.

A crossover of my choice: oh boy. okay, let’s take some creative license here, cause this is sort of more of an au, but… white collar. odo as the dedicated  and sort of boring-seeming cop with a strong sense of justice and commitment to law & order, but who in his heart believes that people really can be redeemed, and also kind of grudgingly admires criminals like master forger & art thief garak, who is so fucking talented and creative and twisty-mindedly a genius, and who seemingly by coincidence takes care not to put anyone’s wellbeing on the line if they’re just trying to make a living and haven’t done anything to deserve it. together, they solve crimes (and drink a lot of wine).

An au of my choice: again, i have such a fondness for the white collar au i was just talking about, though i don’t think i’d really considered it in any depth before just now, other than ‘oh hey, this neal guy reminds me of garak, and if he’s garak then i guess this superficially by-the-book but secretly-a-loose-cannon cop is probably odo’. i love this au now.but because that wasn’t exactly a crossover i feel like i’ve gotta be really strict and come up with a canonverse au for this one. so, either:a) dominion!odo au, where odo rejoins the link willingly the first time he meets them back in ‘the search’, and for the rest of the series is a semi-enemy who genuinely believes the founders can impose order on chaotic and harmful forces like cardassian expansionism and prevent atrocities like those that that happened on bajor from happening again. this brings him into conflict with the regular ds9 crew, obviously, though those conflicts never come to violence because both odo and the rest of the ds9 crew realise that the other has good intentions and they don’t want to hurt each other because they’re friends. garak has no such qualms - anything that might jeopardise cardassian interests, no matter how well-intentioned (and no matter how badly-intentioned he thinks the current cardassian government might be), is fuckin’ going down. this could be a very long fic with a lot of drama where everything turns out okay, or it could be a short one where, lbr, garak fucking dies because he tried to kill an entire planet of near-invulnerable shapeshifters, again.or b) deep dish nine, the One True AU in every niner’s heart. my initial thinking is that this hypothetical fic would relate to odo being involved in an ongoing attempt to shut down a drug operation in the neighbourhood, which he did not realise that that odd but strangely easy to talk to tailor who lives in the basement was involved with. either he talks to garak (who has probs already been talking to julian about this whole Drug Problem Sitch) and convinces him to help with the sting, or he doesn’t find out until the middle of a raid or something. again, this one could end well or it could end badly. i like to think it ends well.

If you like, another trope/scenario of your choice: i mentioned it earlier but it’s canon that odo reads a lot of terrible smut (despite being probably ace, which perhaps surprisingly is not an uncommon combination, even though it’s not an intuitive one at all). and it’s semi-canon (thanks, andy) that garak is a hopeless romantic, a bisexual disaster, kind of kinky, and (full canon now) v into reading as a form of escapism. so, their breakfasts together definitely end up being a second replimat-book-club for garak, only in this one they might pretend it’s Highbrow Literature but genuinely all they discuss is like, bad housewife erotica. they know it’s garbage but they also both unironically love it. (quark overhears more than he wants to but like hell is he telling them that since breakfast time is quiet he can overhear certain frequencies if he’s near the exit of his bar - which he is, more often than he needs to be these days. he’s not suicidal enough to try blackmailing either odo or garak without a damn good reason, but having some material on them doesn’t hurt).

[thegeminisage]

STAR TREK UPDATE TIME. last night we finished off the third season of ds9 with "facets" and "the adversary."

facets:

FINALLY some good fucking food re dax. oh finally finally finally. i absolutely loved this episode start to finish. 10/10 no notes. well no i have two notes 1. it's hilarious that they included leeta bc they didn't have enough characters for all of dax's lives 2. i wish we didn't on-purpose forget that crazy mf who kidnapped her in that one episode...where was he. anyway, aside from those two things, literally perfect

gonna start with the b-plot - nog finally passing his starfleet exams was such a huge fucking deal and it was an even BIGGER deal to me that rom - rom, who initially almost stopped his own kid from going to school because of his brother's influence/ferengi culture in general - got so mad on his kid's behalf he yelled at quark NOSE TO NOSE. not only that, he had a uniform commissioned from garak at a high expense...his son is more important than even MONEY and GOOD FOR HIM!!! my new friend rom.

i'm trying haaard with quark - i liked his scenes in the a-plot - but him fucking with the test is just so horrible. i am begging for even a scrap of character development or even just likability. why can't his schemes and shenanigans be something that doesn't cause emotional harm to other people?? he did a lot of that in the first two seasons, what happened??

anyway, it's cosmic justice that dax assigned him hairbrushing and pregnancy talk in her little ritual. at first i was like i can't believe theyre not gonna make him curzon because he's an asshole and so was curzon but this episode was so enlightened

actually, i had a little spoiler going into this episode. one day i was gooling pics of curzon bc i couldn't remember what he looked like and was so shocked to see ODO! i was like damn is odo mimicking curzon, i thought it was dr mora, what manner of backstory...but then i happened to see the summary for the episode later (i try not to read them, but it happens) and was like ohhh. and it turned out to be perfect

like, the picks for everyone were great - maybe o'brien as tobin was a little mean, that could have also been quark lol - kira was such a perfect feminist trill even with her little voice and sisko made an AMAZING joran (his fakeout was SO fun and i love when sisko calls jadzia old man) but you can't get more perfect than curzon and odo

like, theyre both assholes who go too far sometimes, though obviously they're different KINDS of assholes - odo's grumpiness in generally more benevolent, though not always, and curzon's is much more hidden under charm. they're also both PINING! what a plot twist. it actually explains so much (why he asked for her despite expelling her) and it's like...yeah, jadzia was an adult, but the age difference still made it kind of inappropriate, and he knew enough to know that. and rene auberjonis can play that kind of tortured wish-i-didn't-love-you angst PERFECTLY

and even though he's an asshole, you didn't feel like jadzia's sympathy for him was misplaced, because he obviously did his best to make amends (important!!) and suffered over it a great deal - that his own inappropriate behavior almost cost jadzia something she'd worked her whole life for, and it was nearly a mistake that couldn't be undone. you felt like he actually HAD a wake-up call, unlike a lot of the characters in tng or in a recent case voy who were only sad and made excuses so THEY could feel better without actually attempting to correct course for someone ELSE'S sake. i liked curzon a lot, he had a lot of nuance

also, i gotta talk about odo. since curzon and odo's personalities are so different, it actually makes total sense why they'd want to stay joined...odo gets to be free and easy around others, and curzon gets the joys of being a changeling. odo's rigid personality doesn't complement his abilities as a changeling very well, but curzon's personality kind of does??

curzon sisko reunion was so good too. sisko pointing vaguely at him to an amazed and speechless jake going oh you remember curzon ha ha and getting sort of dragged out of the room. they're SO funny and i love sisko scenes so much

and of course sisko's scenes with JADZIA! i feel like i understand her so much better now...firstly, she's had this sort of sassy personality for a few episodes, so i'm wondering if we are finally sticking with that one? but then she also has this deep-seated insecurity underneath there which could kind of explain away some of her reserved rigidity in earlier seasons - her whole deal enrolling kind of traumatized her, and her "real" personality is starting to shine now that she's healing? all conjecture/headcanon, but i could get used to sassy jadzia! it feels great that she has actual conflict and stuff to say and like, a pretty fun sense of comedic timing also

and now that her character has started to appeal to me i can see how lovely it is that curzon was once sisko's mentor and now sisko is mentoring jadzia on how to confront curzon...also they fucked twins once. and fucked in the mirrorverse. there's so much to unpack. it's a complex fun relationship that i've always LIKED but am only just now starting to APPRECIATE

anyway, wonderful stuff, 10/10

the adversary:

MY BEST FRIEND ODO. "no changeling has ever harmed another" are such fun arc words and i was hoping he'd be the first and he WAS. i think that other changeling technically attacked him first but whatever. it was what i wanted and i GOT IT and he was so fucked up after <3

sisko's promotion!! i always wondered when they'd get around to making him captain, it was always bonkers to me that he started as a commander. he is still ROCKING that beard also but i do pre-emptively miss his hair. also, sisko taking jake's drink at the toast when he tried to steal too much. priceless. he has such dad energy

dax teasing sisko about his baseball gf..........i love this so much for them. i love that he gets a baseball gf and i love that everyone gossips about it behind his back. i also love how much glee everyone took in calling him captain for the rest of the episode. his besties love him so much.........................

changeling plot was so fun because i THOUGHT it was weird for julian to be crawling around in that little hole but the close-up on obrien had me CONVINCED he was the one and ofc also that one traitor guy was there too and he's super squirrelly. so it kept me GUESSING

i do think it's really funny that they used this nice civilized hypo to draw blood though - firstly, it's less secure, because the changeling was able to swap samples, but secondly, on s*pernatural they would have been cutting each other up INSTANTLY. straight across the palm like idiots. they're so fucking civilized in the 2300s.

the return of the self-destruct codes!!!!!!!!!!! GOD THAT WAS SO METAL. everyone went very calmly to their almost certain deaths too.

the fact that kira was the first to ask after odo after he went, sorry, NONVERBAL, and showed up in the meeting room.......that's romance. r, well, it's not but i'll take it and happily.

"you're too late we're everywhere" THEY'D BETTER GET USED TO THE CUTTING!

TONIGHT: kicking off voy s2 with "the 37s" and "initiations." though i do happen to know the former was originally just supposed to be part of s1 lol

[lobsters-on-their-heads]

What I want from (Fan)fiction

I love fanfiction, but good Lord is it hard to find good stuff in any fandom.  I haven’t counted, but my guess is that only about 10% of works in any fandom are high quality, and the rest range from “okay, I can read this” to “holy fuck, this sucks so badly I now hate this pairing.”  Of course, some of it is personal preference.  There are tropes I can’t stand that other people love, and that’s great!  Diversity is important.  This is my list of things that I want from fanfiction.  A lot of this applies to all fiction.  I start with tips that I feel many readers would agree with, and end with my personal preferences that I know people disagree with.  Specific fandoms mentioned here are DS9, Orphan Black, Harry Potter, and Game of Thrones.  

1) Use the characters’ names, and use them in the way that they’re used in the original material.  No one in Harry Potter called Minerva McGonagall “Nerva,” so you shouldn’t, either.  Besides, it sounds silly.  Call her Minerva.

Also, avoid referring to the characters by their characteristics unless absolutely necessary.  In a scene with Cosima and Delphine, avoid referring to them as “the brunette” and “the blonde.”  If I’m reading Cophine fanfic, I know damn well what color their hair is.  Besides, the names are mostly just convenient tags to let the reader know who’s doing what, to help with the movie playing along in our brains.  Adding in extra markers takes the focus away from the action.  I understand you’re trying to avoid redundancy, but it ends up a little confusing.  

“Cosima gasped as the blonde rolled on top of her.”  This makes me wonder if a third woman joined the action.  Just say Delphine rolled on top of her - it’s more clear.

2) The majority of your speech tags should be said or asked.  It’s okay to throw in an occasional “she yelled” or “he gasped,” but keep those to a minimum, and only use as appropriate.  Speech tags, like names, are mostly to tell the reader who said what.  You don’t even need them a lot of the time if there are only two people speaking.  Using creative and unnecessary speech tags, again, takes the reader away from the main action or message.  

3) Tighten your writing.  Specifically:

- Avoid excessive modifiers and prepositional phrases.  “She spat with vemon” should be shortened to “she spat” unless of course there is literal venom involved, in which case, remove the “with.”  “He frowned sadly,” is redundant.  How else would he frown?  “She thought to herself.”  Well, who else is she going to think to?

- In general, if you can take words out without changing the meaning of the passage, take those words out.  One way I’ve found to do this is by giving myself a page or word limit that’s a little bit shorter than what I already have.  If the draft is 3,000 words, I try to make it 2,500.  Going back to point #1, using the characters’ names helps with this.  “Odo” reads more quickly than “the shapeshifter.”

4) PROOFREAD YOUR SHIT!  Proofread it yourself a day or two after you finish, and then get someone else to proofread it.  None of us can catch all of our own errors by ourselves, but we need to make sure it’s as clean as possible before sending it out into the world.  Proofread especially for the following:

- Verb tense.  Past tense is the most common, but the most important thing to watch for is consistency.  I read a fic yesterday where the writer switched randomly into present tense halfway though, then went back to past.  There was no time travel or flashbacks involved, just sloppy writing, and it took me out of an otherwise interesting story.   

- Check your spelling.  We’ll forgive the stray typo here and there, and some of us won’t even notice if you misspell “achieve,” but if you spell Kira’s given name as Niris, you’re showing that you don’t care about details.  

5) Use accurate and appropriate language.  I’ve lost count of the number of DS9 fics in which Major Kira “stomps” around the station.  I can’t remember her ever stomping on the show, though.  She strode, sashayed, walked, ran, jogged, limped, and (maybe) marched.  She might have even bounced or skipped, but she never stomped.  Stomping is what children do when they’re angry.  

Similarly, don’t get too creative with names for body parts.  Don’t use “digits,” use “fingers.”  When discussing breasts, never, EVER call them orbs, globes, or mounds.

6) Be true to the characters.  I know the point of fanfiction can be to stretch the boundaries of canon fiction, but if you go too far from the canon characters, you create entirely new characters who happen to have the same names.  This doesn’t mean you can pair them up in canonically unrealistic ways.  Garak and Captain Sisko can certainly have a tumble in Garak’s dressing room without either of them leaving character.  This includes physical traits as well as personality.  Some examples of what to avoid:

- Odo fucks Kira in the middle of a staff meeting, and she is pleasantly surprised.  No one is upset about this.  None of this is in character.

- Kira has massive breasts.  In the show, Kira’s breasts are lovely (from what we can see), but they are not large.  

7) Okay, so this one relates to #6, but might apply more to me than anyone else.  I don’t like AUs.  I just saw one that had Cosima as an actress, and another with Delphine as a kindergarten teacher.  Guys.... they are both SCIENTISTS.  That is a critical piece of their characters, not only professionally, but in terms of how they see and interact with the world around them.  Similarly, Jaime Lannister is a soldier and a nobleman.  He is not a musician.  Brienne is not a fangirl.  You can be inspired by characters and put elements of them into your own original work, but if you change too much about them, they are not the characters you say they are.  

Of course, some people love AUs.  If you like AUs, great, keep writing and reading them!  They are obviously popular (about half of the Cophine fics I saw just yesterday were AUs).  For me, though, you have to really sell me on your concept before I’ll even click the link.  

Amendment to #7) This doesn’t apply to divergent plot lines within the original universe.  Some of the best stories I’ve read follow the pattern of “What if [plot point] had turned out differently?”  These keep the characters in character.  What if Kira hadn’t died in “Children of Time?”  What if Cosima had never been self-aware?  What if Hermione were killed in book seven?  What if Brienne found Sansa Stark and they went on adventures together?  All of these work because they keep the characters in character. 

What if Harry were a muggle?  That works less for me.  Being a wizard is too integral to who Harry is as a person.  Still, if you write it well, I might give it a shot, provided that most everything else stays true to the Potterverse we know and love.   

8) It’s okay to use a foreign language I don’t know, as long as it’s realistic.  I don’t speak French, but Delphine does, so having her cry out French phrases during sex totally fits, and is better than having her do it in English.  I can figure out the meaning from context.  If characters are having a conversation in a foreign language, and the exact meaning is critical to the story, there are a few ways to handle that: 

- One way is to have them speaking in, say, French, with each other, and then have a third character ask for a recap or summary.

- Have a footnote somewhere translating the lines into English (or whatever the primary language of the piece is).  

- Have everything in English (or the primary language), but somehow signal to the reader that they have switched into French.  Maybe use italics and have a third character point out that they aren’t not speaking English anymore.  

Do not assume that your readers DON’T understand the foreign language you’re using, or that we all want an immediate translation.  Repeating the same message in English immediately after giving it in French slows down the pace of the story, and is literally redundant.  

[ltbroccoli-archive]

ST ask meme - ALL OF THEM

Star Trek ask meme

Under a read more, because long.

1. Top 3 favorite female characters? Kathryn Janeway, Seven of Nine, Uhura.

2. Top 3 favorite male characters? Reg Barclay, Rom, Data.

3. Top 3 least favorite characters? Katherine Pulaski, Wesley Crusher, Jadzia Dax. (I said Travis Mayweather on my other post but he’s honestly tied with Jadzia.)

4. Favorite alien species? I really enjoy the Borg. Voyager ruined them just the tiniest bit though, by overusing them.

5. Episode plot you wish they had handled differently? Several are coming to mind, but I think I’m actually gonna go with the Enterprise finale. Which I don’t remember terribly well but I remember that it sucked. Riker and Troi? Seriously? The least that show could have done was end on a reasonably high note. Granted it was never a great show in the first place…

6. Character you feel a show could have done without? Pulaski was so utterly unnecessary, and just horrible. I realize they wanted Gates McFadden gone, which was also a mistake. Just let her stay through the whole thing.

7. Who would make up your crew dream team? Captain Janeway, First Officer Spock, Chief Engineer Reg Barclay, Doctor EMH, Tactical Officer Worf, the rest can just fight for it idk.

8. Which captain would you most want to serve under? It’s a toss up between Picard and Janeway… I think Janeway wins by the tiniest bit. Picard would also be awesome.

9. Which episode plot do you prefer?

     a. Time traveling to the past or dealing with time travelers from the future? The past. I love time travel everything give me all the time travel please.

     b. Going undercover to spy on enemies or going undercover to explore pre-warp planets? Probably the enemies, but it really depends on the episode.

    c. Holodeck malfunction or space anomaly? Depends what the holodeck malfunction is and what the space anomaly is. Holodeck malfunctions are always stupid, but we need to know if it’s the good kind of stupid.

    d. Ship being taken over or being stranded on a planet? Taken over.

    e. Rapid aging or de-aging? De-aging. “Rascals” is a gift.

    f. Diplomatic negotiations or all out battle? Both? Both is good. (Negotiate to stop the battle.)

10. Which alien pet would you most want for your own? The unicorn dog.

11. Top 3 OTPs? Janeway/Chakotay, Doctor/Seven, Rom/Leeta

12. Top 3 NOTPs? Chakotay/Seven (seriously wtf), Dukat/Winn, Garak/Ziyal

13. A ship you wish had been canon and why? Garak and Bashir. They had great chemistry from their very first scene and it’s just such an interesting pair.

14. A ship you wish hadn’t been canon and why? Garak/Ziyal. She’s barely legal. They were only doing it so the Garak/Bashir shippers had no chance. It didn’t make sense. It was forced.

15. Top 3 favorite alien crewmembers? Spock, Worf, Seven of Nine.

16. If you could steal the basic plot of an episode for one show and apply to another which would you choose? Well Enterprise directly stole plots from other shows multiple times… honestly I can’t think of any.

17. What role would you have aboard a starship? Science officer…? Engineer? One of those.

18. If you had to fight a character who would you choose? Pulaski.

19. You can undo one plot point, which do you choose? Dukat joining the Pah-Wraiths. That’s the exact moment his arc went from absolutely incredible to just… a piece of shit.

20. Which piece of technology do you wish existed in reality? Transporter.

21. What kind of stories do you hope the new show does? Explore current issues. Make important points about our current world. Make people uncomfortable. Make people examine themselves and how they behave.

22. Would you rather serve on a starship or a space station? Space station, probably.

23. Favorite tropes? The non-human character trying to figure out what the hell humans are even doing.

24. Which character do you relate to the most? Reg Barclay.

25. Favorite villain(s)? Dukat, the Borg, the Dominion.

26. Which alien hybrid offspring are you most interested in seeing? Uh… this is really not something I thought about before. Maybe a Bolian and a Klingon. See how that one works out. (Yeah I just kinda picked two random races…)

27. What do you wish they had handled differently? A lot of Reg’s later TNG episodes treated him as comic relief. I would have liked to see more of him in a serious light and less comedic. And also directly acknowledging that he has anxiety of some kind, whatever that might be, would be great.

28. Character(s) you want to cosplay as? I really don’t do much cosplay, I’d be happy just to have a StarFleet uniform.

29. Favorite and least favorite episodes? I’ll just go one from each show, this is hard. These might not be the absolutes but they’re what popped into my head first.

Favorites - “The City on the Edge of Forever”, “Realm of Fear”, “Far Beyond the Stars”, “Bride of Chaotica!”, sorry I can’t consider any ENT episode to be a favorite.

Least favorites - “The Mark of Gideon”, “Sub Rosa”, “The Muse”, “Year of Hell”, “These Are the Voyages…”

30. Something you wish you could delete from canon? That ghost trying to bang Crusher? Yeah I completely skipped that episode on my rewatch, no thank you.

31. A crossover with another show/movie/book/ect, that you’d want to see? Doctor Who, Stargate, or Firefly.

32. F/M/K. I dunno. Someone give me three choices and I’ll answer this.

33. Whose twitter feed would you most want to follow? Data’s would be a blast, I think.

34. What do you think *insert character*’s tumblr would be full of? Someone has to send a character. Since I write Reg, I will say that Reg’s Tumblr would be cats, advice for dealing with anxiety, cool space pictures, cats, engineering facts, and cats.

35. A minor character you wish had become a main character? Reg Barclay. I always want more Reg Barclay.

36. A social issue you hope the new show tackles and how? Actual gay people would be nice.

37. Character A and Character B get into a fight, who wins? I need characters.

38. *Insert crew here* is thrown back in time to *insert time period here*, how do they handle it, which fashion trends do they pick up, who threatens the timeline the most, who is saddest when they have to leave, who is most knowledgeable, who stands out the most, ect? Again, I need things. Also this would take forever to answer, so…

39. You have to relocate to a planet other than Earth, which do you choose? …Vulcan? Andoria? Some Earth colony? Yeah probably an Earth colony, if there’s a nice big one.

40. If you got a trek inspired tattoo what would it be? I don’t think I’d get a tattoo… but I mean, if I were forced to get one at gunpoint for some reason, maybe the IDIC medallion on my ankle or something simple like that.

41. Which episode(s) creeped out/scared you the most? “Night Terrors”, the TNG episode where the crew can’t dream. When Crusher’s in the morgue and all the corpses are suddenly sitting up? I lost it the first time I saw that as a kid. Still creeps me the fuck out.

42. Which episode(s) made you cry? “Real Life”, the VOY episode with the Doctor’s holographic family that you never see again. I don’t know why that one got to me but it got to me.

43. Order of shows from most to least favorite? Deep Space 9, Next Generation, Voyager, Original Series, Enterprise, Animated. Honestly DS9, TNG, VOY, and TOS are all at about the same level for me, I love them all but in different ways. ENT is a noticeable step down in quality and TAS is uh… yeah.

44. If *insert crew* ended up in the modern day what would amaze them the most? Gotta give me a crew.

45. Which alien culture would you most want to live in/would feel most comfortable? Denobulans would be super friendly, I feel like.

46. If they rebooted *insert show here* who out of modern day actors would you pick to play the main characters? No more reboots.

47. An unpopular opinion you have? Jadzia Dax is the worst character on DS9. She’s an annoying know-it-all who can apparently do no wrong. She also has no character development to speak of and her episodes were always the most boring, despite the Trill being a fascinating race. Worf deserved better. Also, Terry Farrell never seemed the right choice for the part. I was glad to see her go and I genuinely don’t understand why this fandom worships the ground she walks on.

48. Sort the crew of *insert show here* into Hogwarts houses. Someone want to send a show?

49. A favorite ST fic? I don’t read much fanfic, actually. I did read one where Q was trying to help Reg get over his stage fright. That was pretty funny. I can’t remember where it was or I’d link to it.

50. A random headcanon? At some point after the episode “Hollow Pursuits”, Reg Barclay gave Deanna Troi a damn good (and completely genuine) apology for recreating her on the holodeck for make out sessions.

[sleepymarmot]

DS9 season 6

[Season index: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 PS]

Here I get angrier and discourse-y

A Time to Stand

The Garak/Bashir scene (finally)... and Bashir looking like this... I feel blessed

when he talks about his “boyish smile” but cannot smile at all. that hit hard

aw Worf/Jadzia!

the Terok Nor dynamics are fascinating. I'm very impressed by Kira's willpower...

jesus fucking christ the Dukat/Kira scene :O D: 😨

why is Bashir doing mental calculations now, he's not Data

Rocks and Shoals

Kira's storyline about being self-conscious about collaborationism is great. In the previous episode we saw her trapped and vulnerable, especially in the viscerally horrifying scene with Dukat, and now we realize along with Kira herself that all of that is having it good.

Sons and Daughters

how did Sisko send a signal that Martok heard but the Jem'Hadar didn't?

Alexander lived on the Enterprise because Worf's parents were incapable of raising him anymore... I guess that was so inconvenient for the DS9 writers they decided to just ignore it instead of at least trying to invent an excuse.

"But the last time you defied him, he left you here to die!" "We talked about that. He admits he overreacted" bwahaha

Oh Alexander, so much secondhand embarrassment...

god, he gave her a dress, eww

oh my god, and he immediately re-gifts it to his own daughter, what a jerk

accepting Worf into the house of Martok involved much less ceremony...

why doesn't this episode address Alexander's age? did the writers assume, again, we didn't watch TNG? they could have said something about his grandparents protesting because he's about ten years old. something about Klingon children growing up very fast, and humans disapproving of child soldiers.

I don't understand how Ziyal can be so naive. Sure, she's kept unaware of the creepy sexual aspect of Dukat's advances (though I was waiting for Kira to snap and finally say "Your father keeps hitting on me, please don't force me to be in the same room with him"), but surely she must see why Kira finds his company uncomfortable and inappropriate! I do like that Ziyal is on his side again. And I enjoy seeing the continuation of Kira's storyline where she has to walk the line between keeping a polite facade and staying true to herself, gets too used to engaging Dukat&co on their own terms and has to take a step back to reassert herself.

Behind the Lines

Wait, if the Romulans have signed a non-aggression pact with the Dominion, why do they still allow Starfleet to use their cloaking device against it?

I've already been concerned about their open discussions of resistance activities, but a Founder's presence on the station makes it even worse! Sure, discuss your plans over a bar table that might well be a changeling...

Odo, for fuck's sake, she's going to learn all about the resistance from you...

"She didn't find out about the resistance, if that's why you're worried" in the same scene: "If she had some hidden motive, I would have sensed it"

Odo!.. >:(

Captain Dax!

Do the Cardassians still have the truth serum? If no, it's a giant plot hole; if yes, things are looking really bad...

Favor the Bold

oh god ewwwwww

why is Leeta making that noise

haha you go Kira

"We are way, way past sorry" good. unforgiving Kira is the best Kira

Odo's longing for his kind works so much better when the Founders are not on screen -- the things they actually say are so boring, one-dimensional and unconvincing... Though I find interesting that Odo's storyline mirrors Kira's in this arc: the female changeling manages to seduce him while Dukat fails to do the same to Kira.

Sacrifice of Angels

"DAMAR: I doubt he was working alone when he tried to sabotage the station. He must've had help. His wife Leeta, Jake Sisko, Major Kira. DUKAT: What are you proposing? DAMAR: That we arrest them. Keep them in custody, at least until the wormhole is reopened." Finally someone wakes up! I was expecting them to do this an episode ago...

"War is such thirsty work. Don't you agree?" "Perhaps if you didn't talk so much, your throat wouldn't get so dry."

Oh look! He's actually pretty shocked by the suggestion to "eradicate [an entire planet's] population"! Even this guy has standards.

"A true victory is to make your enemy see they were wrong to oppose you in the first place. To force them to acknowledge your greatness" classic Dukat. this is his ideology in a nutshell

"Then you kill them?" I'm loving the discussion of the differences between the Cardassian and Dominion approach

"Perhaps the biggest disappointment in my life is that the Bajoran people still refuse to appreciate how lucky they were to have me as their liberator. I protected them in so many ways, cared for them as if they were my own children. But to this day, is there a single statue of me on Bajor?" how is it possible to be so deluded?! fucking incredible

"Link with me, Odo. Embrace the clarity" EMBRACE ETERNITY

Where's the Enterprise during all these battles?

haha Quark & Ziyal make a great team

"The only reason they haven't killed me yet is that I'm part of their victory celebration. Seven o'clock, Dukat makes a speech. Eight thirty, cake and raktajino. Eight forty five, execute the Ferengi"

holy crap, they actually detonated the minefield! I didn't expect that

LITERALLY DEUS EX MACHINA

(I'm beginning to think this is a predestination paradox and the wormhole aliens started taking care of the Bajorans throughout history because Sisko told them to...)

Shit, I thought Dukat was about to snap and kill her, but it's even worse

I didn't expect to feel sympathy for Dukat ever again after those scenes with Kira, but this show played me again. I guess he'll completely lose it now?

Did you really had to remind us that the trainwreck that was Garak/Ziyal existed?

Wait, please tell me this isn't Dukat's last appearance and he's not about to spend the last 1,5 seasons in an asylum?

You are Cordially Invited

Why does this Klingon woman have human teeth?

Ah yes, Jadzia is too proud and independent and should follow her fiance's totally reasonable suggestion to humiliate herself to fit better in his culture. fuck you

Resurrection

am I supposed to recognize this guy?

oh no it's a Mirror episode

I... don't... care...

ugh, her again

I wish I just fast-forwarded this episode

Statistical Probabilities

How did I know from the title that this is a Bashir episode...

lol my dude when Bashir gets his look on his face you know you're fucked

I can't believe Miles pretended to have work just so he could be in the same room as Julian... romance is not dead

Don't know what to think about this episode. There are some good conversations about ableism and intelligence, but that set of stereotypes and assumptions... It's like the final Sherlock episode. And it was implausible when they could read Damar so well in the first place. And the long-term predictions are a million times worse! Do they include variables like "wormhole aliens destroy the entire enemy fleet because Sisko asked nicely"?

Plus I don't like how this season portrays Bashir's enhanced intelligence... I thought he was just made smarter than average, not make mental calculations at the same speed as Data... Where did that come from. Why.

The Magnificent Ferengi

"May I help you, gentlemen?" lmao

"Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to take a nap."

"By the time the Dominion is done with you, all you'll want is a quick death." I love his serene tone haha

This was hilarious :D I really like this show's ventures into black comedy! Also Keevan looks exactly like Orlando Bloom and it cracks me up.

Waltz

Dukat's career has been through a lot of ups and downs over the seasons, and this is the lowest point ever that brings a new dynamic: Dukat so powerless that Sisko can afford to feel pity for him. I'm glad Dukat seems sane.

"A bottle of kanar and an Orion slave girl would be nice" ew

oh, so he has hallucinations. oh well.

"From this day forward, Bajor is dead. All of Bajor" Ouch. Sisko, I think you made it worse... I might have used the same rhetoric in Sisko's place, but damn, his final statement about Dukat's evilness rings pretty hollow since it was him who dragged "kill all Bajorans" out of Dukat's subconsciousness into the light. Like, I understand, when you're injured and trapped with an armed crazy fascist who tries to force you to praise him, you'd want at least the final satisfaction of telling what you think about him to his face, in no way I blame you for it... But if someone is mentally unstable and obsessed with proving to you he's a good person, and you reject it and instead goad him into exposing and accepting his darker motivations -- then don't say he is irredeemably evil? I can see how Sisko's rhetoric could have worked as reverse psychology -- his opponent would have started the speech about killing everyone, heard himself, stopped in horror and realized the error of his ways -- but Dukat didn't have enough self-awareness for that even in better times, and certainly not now. This was just giving your enemy ideas. Nice job breaking it, hero! When Dukat sabotaged his own redemption arc by joining the Dominion, it was beautiful, but when someone else does it to him... Idk, I usually like the Batman/Joker dynamic where the bad guy is obsessed with the protagonist and defines himself in opposition to him, but I'm not sure how well it works here... On the other hand, it has been a part of Dukat's character that he has an almost fourth wall breaking awareness of his role in the story as a likeable complex antagonist, so there is some poetic sense that he turns to straight-up villainy when someone convinces him that is the better role for him and he decides to live up to it. 

The sad thing is, except that strange last scene, I was absolutely with Sisko the entire episode. And contrary to his words at the end, I found it an excellent example of grey morality. I've talked about it a couple of seasons ago -- allowing the antagonist to plead his case and then explaining why he's still wrong -- and this episode dedicates a lot of time to this. We've basically already heard Dukat's self-justifications, but learning what exactly was his role during the occupation and what he has done differently that made him think he was so much better than the other Cardassians -- that's something I've wanted since the beginning of the show. Cardassians are my favourite part of the show because of their messed up ideology, and Dukat is the one character who keeps talking about it, which is why he's so interesting for me. (Initially, heavy focus on ideology was what I expected from Garak and his character arc, which is one of the reasons I was disappointed in them.) It's great how he gives a lengthy speech that does make him sound pretty reasonable and sympathetic for a minute, and then with a single line Sisko breaks the spell and makes him reveal the ugly racism under it all, the reason why Dukat is deeply wrong despite any good intentions: "From the moment we arrived on Bajor, it was clear that we were the superior race. But they couldn't accept that. They wanted to be treated as equals when they most certainly were not". But, honestly, this isn't exactly news. Dukat's always been a racist, a victim-blamer, an egomaniac, an opportunist, and this episode doesn't even touch the issue of Bajoran women. So in this episode, he says pretty much the same things as when he played a "morally grey" role, but now that suddenly means he's "not morally grey"? Because of some bat-swinging during a psychotic episode, and a final villainous speech based on an idea fed to him by Sisko? He's responsible for a genocide, that's bad enough -- you don't need to start blaming him for things he's not fully responsible for! One of my favourite things about Dukat is that his crimes mostly happened offscreen, before the events of the show, so his presence on screen was sort of a test of integrity for both other character and viewers -- can you still tell right from wrong without a visceral reaction to violence and suffering happening right now before your very eyes? The characters have always passed that test; but now, regrettably, the writers decided that the viewers cannot. At the beginning of the episode he's a war criminal half-mad from loss, and Sisko feels sorry for him; at the end of the episode he's a war criminal completely mad from loss, and Sisko thinks he's evil. I guess, this might be interpreted just as Sisko's version of Kira's stories at the beginning of the season, where she briefly forgets how much she hates Dukat, and by the end of the episode he gives her a reason to hate him even more. I guess it comes down to the first line in this liveblog that I wrote during the first minutes of the episode: when the enemy is neutralised, we can afford to feel sympathy for them, but as soon as they start posing real danger, compassion goes out of the window and our first priority is to stop them. Except, of course, that works for any enemy, they don't have to be "truly evil"... So my complaint about that line still stands. Besides, it really deflated the drama; five minutes ago we had Dukat delivering his mad king's speech with the Shakespearean levels of gravitas, and now Sisko almost looks in the camera and summarizes his experience with the dramatic equivalent of "That's as many of four tens. And that's terrible."

Alright, let's try to stop raging about the dumb final scene and say something about the actual episode... I wish this was a real courtroom episode without the madness -- but the imaginary Weyoun, Damar and Kira's arguments were very well done. Their opinions sounded authentic while the delivery was distorted by Dukat's point of view. Just look at the imaginary Kira draping herself sensually over everything... :D

Dukat has a special talent for making me feel terribly guilty. You know the parts from his final monologue about Bajoran "superstitions", how they "clustered in their temples and prayed for deliverance"? Well, as I dislike the episodes about Bajoran religion I kinda see where he's coming from, and now I feel like a Nazi...

Idk how I'd fix this episode. 

I'd like to throw out the mental illness altogether but then half of the episode stops working. 

If I couldn't invent a completely different ending, I'd throw out the final scene, letting Dukat's actions speak for themselves. 

Or there would be a final scene, but similar in tone to "The Ship", where Sisko'd be like "Whoops..." and also traumatised by the experience. 

Or, if it were absolutely necessary to state the moral of the story and remind the viewers that Dukat is Bad(tm), maybe he'd say something like "Yes, I gave him the idea, but everyone is responsible for his own actions, and blaming everyone but himself is what he wants and does, so I'm not going to". 

Maybe I'd end the episode with Sisko killing Dukat and the final scene being like "Generally I value life but you know what? No regrets". (Of course the best outcome would be if Kira killed Dukat but I've already been informed it won't happen.) 

tl;dr: There are some impressive scenes, lines and acting, but the episode is deeply compromised by its general intent, mental illness excuse and the final scene.

Who Mourns for Morn

Not the best Quark episode... Gags about Morn don't work for me because the prosthetic is so bulky the actor can barely move in it, let alone make facial expressions, and it's impossible to believe that guy becomes talkative, charming and athletic as soon as the cameras stop pointing at him.

Far Beyond the Stars

Finally, a classic episode that lives up to its reputation -- and an AU that's good enough that it does not require an explanation. (The Prophets... made an elaborate simulation of 20th century Earth... to inspire Sisko to fight on? Okay.) I feel that somehow this is the best story about Sisko as the Emissary so far, even though -- or maybe because -- it was only discussed indirectly. It works as a history episode, as an AU episode, as an issue episode, as a meta episode about Star Trek itself...

I'm a bit confused by not-Bashir's role as one of the white writers who just don't get it -- just another reminder of how little I understand the concept of race... I've never thought of him as white -- would he be, by 1950's standards? I get that the episode is specifically about antiblackness, but they did mention sexism against not-Kira, so why not him?

I tried hard and failed to recognize the artist -- turns out, it was Martok! I'd never guess...

I'm darkly amused at Odo as conservative, contemptible half-antagonist again (similar to the roles he played during both occupations and in Mirror universe). His conflict with not-Quark is still recognizable, not just superficially imitated without any of the substance (remember when Quark called Odo a fascist?).

Similarly, I almost laughed when Dukat and Weyoun showed up as racist cops -- just in case you somehow still aren't drawing parallels to the current events, the show does it for you... How sad it is though: a show filmed in 1990s about the 24th century remembering the 1950s looks like an immediate reaction to the news reports of today...  

It was a pleasure to see Kasidy in both worlds! I've missed her. She's such a likeable person, and has effortless chemistry with Sisko (and Benny).

Joseph was great, a beautiful variation on his role in Homefront/Paradise Lost.

I was impressed to learn afterwards that the writers all had real prototypes. So they’re based on a group of real people and group of fictional character at the same time, and both sets of influences are recognizable. That’s incredible. 

One Little Ship

"I love it. Let's go"

more enjoyable than I expected

Honor Among Thieves

ooh nice scenery

this is the kind of story I find hard to watch both because it's painful to wait for something terrible to happen, and because it's not very captivating

Change of Heart

ah yes, Bashir learned all the rules from half a second glance *eyeroll*

this is season freaking 6!!! you told us two seasons ago that Julian's crush on Jadzia is dead! what the fuck?

moral of the story: don't send married couples on dangerous missions toge -- wait, as I was typing, Sisko said the exact same thing lol

why are all Jadzia/Worf episodes so bad. why are all Jadzia episodes so bad. is this a conspiracy?! why is her every episode about almost dying? you know, at this point I'm kinda looking forward to it happening for real.

Wrongs Darker than Death or Night

What, you can easily travel back in time? Just like that?

I didn't expect this show to actually use the term "comfort women"!

Kira looks like she needs a bucket to vomit in... I may need one too...

*Dukat kisses Meru* *mine and Kira's vomiting intensifies*

let me guess, the episode will end with Kira realizing that "my mother deserves death for having Stockholm syndrome" was a bit too harsh

"Kira and collaborationism" is one of my favourite themes in this show istg

"Believe me, there's a part of me that wishes that I hadn't. But the fact is, no matter what she did, she was still my mother" I actually wanted to Kira to go through with the assassination! But then it'd create a different timeline and the episode wasn't about that. 

ok, I spoiled myself about Dukat/Meru so it lost the shock value, and I can see that it's incredibly contrived, but on the other hand it somehow managed to make Dukat's harassment towards Kira even more gross and creepy which is impressive

I have so many technical questions though. If Bajor has a freaking time machine why is no one using it in the war? Why is the Dominion not trying to get its hands on it? Why does it work differently than in "Tribbles"? Is it a closed time loop or alternate timeline? -- at the start of the episode, have Meru and Dukat met the time-travelling Kira or not? Dukat said he was the Prefect only for ten years but in this episode young Nerys looks about four and she certainly isn't a teenager at the end of the occupation -- how does all of that add up? Wait, if Ziyal was 13 by the end of the occupation, it would make more sense if Dukat was in charge for about 20 years and, roughly speaking, spent seven of them with Meru (as said in this episode) and thirteen with Naprem, and the line in "Waltz" is a continuity error -- but putting it this way sounds more wholesome than he deserves, since from the words of that one dude in this episode and a scene in "Things Past" I got the impression that those unfortunate Bajoran women passed through his quarters at a much faster rate...

btw remember when I was hoping that Dukat's mentions of his children to Sisko were intentional manipulation? now I'm pretty sure they were.

wow, TvTropes: "The episode itself... which is rather a letdown. With such a name, you'd expect some sort of horrible atrocity to be happening" -- you mean, MASS SEX SLAVERY, long-term psychological manipulation, prostituting oneself to a tyrant and learning to like it, and planning the murder of one's own mother -- these things are not horrible enough??? who tf wrote that entry

(btw, kudos to this episode for handling these heavy topics without going the exploitative shock value route like "Violations" that actually showed rape scenes on screen.)

also someone mentioned that Terok Nor is very brightly lit and now I can't get it out of my mind... why, set designers, why...

Something I liked: in the opening scene Dukat says: "Captain Sisko gave me the clarity to see beyond the lies, the self-deceptions that were controlling my life. He helped me see to the truth about myself. And now I'm going to do the same for you." And that's what happens indeed, even if not exactly in the way he might have intended. Sisko made him acknowledge the violence under the pretty words and justifications, and now we get to see the ugly true face of what Dukat calls -- and genuinely believes to be -- "love".

Inquisition

"Why would the Dominion leave your runabout orbiting the camp" well I'm glad the writers are aware of their plotholes... :D

"Captain, if Doctor Bashir had been involved in one or two questionable incidents, I could understand how you might be able to dismiss it, but the sheer number of incidents form a pattern of behaviour that can't be ignored" you could say that about literally any of the main characters lmao... every episode of any Star Trek series contains a questionable incident plot twist?? let me guess, it's set up by Sloan to make him confess

Second Skin 2

"And because you didn't want billions of Federation citizens to lose their lives needlessly, you agreed to provide us with information that would help us end this war quickly" heh, nice use of Statistical Probabilities

oh wow, Weyoun and his ship are actually real! I didn't expect that

the DS9 crew are all acting so strange, I guess they're part of the simulation too

"I admit it takes exceptional people to do what we do. People who can sublimate their own ambitions to the best interests of the Federation" heh, is this the final test?

wait, they kidnapped him THAT early? Bashir really should stop going to medical conferences...

this episode was pretty predictable after so many similar stories, but I do like these types of episodes, and this one utilised well the long-running themes of Bashir and secret service, and Bashir's idealism. And he got to join the club with Data, Riker, Picard, Dax, O'Brien, Worf -- am I forgetting anyone? Oh, right, Wesley -- that was one of my favourite episodes, actually... Oh, and I just rewatched the scene is the beginning where Bashir wakes up tired in the simulation for the first time, and remembered that episode of TNG where Riker kept losing sleep because aliens kidnapped him every night.

In the Pale Moonlight

Garak saves the day! I'm glad to see him live up to his reputation.

Actually, I don't think the plan was THAT immoral. Especially how it turned out in the end. The worst part was the danger to the Federation in case the forgery was discovered, but Garak took care of that. So ultimately, my only regret would be the use of that biomimetic gel in the clearly wrong hands. Call me cynical, but I fully agree with Garak that the price they paid was very small. Sure, for a Starfleet officer all of that must feel very dishonorable, but I'm sure the secret services of all major powers in the galaxy pull this kind of crap and worse on a fairly regular basis.* Hell, I think what Sisko himself did to apprehend Eddington was worse by my standards! And how is bribing Quark worse than blackmailing him, which Sisko has been doing literally since the pilot?! I think his guilt would have worked better for me if the plan failed and all of that were for nothing. 

* Actually, why WAS Sisko the one doing this? And not someone like the just-introduced Section 31?

On a less serious note, I love that Sisko isn't satisfied with the recording until someone talks shit about Dukat :D then he's like "mmm perfect"

I feel obligated to mention the quality of writing and directing! And the wonderful ambiguity of the final "I can live with it" -- I love things like this.

His Way

let me get this straight, Julian got rejected three times by the same woman but she started dating him after he asked a hologram for advice?? wtf. Miles is surprised by the latter part but I'm more concerned about "Bashir is repeatedly rejected and refuses to stop pursuing a woman" (what is this, season 1???! between that and the mention of his crush on Dax several episodes ago, certainly feels like that, and not in a good way) and also about "Bashir dates a woman offscreen because the relationship is so shallow it's apparently not worth showing but we need to remind the viewers he's Straight"

"Is that the best you can do?" "I'd like to see someone do better." "So would I."

"You're not exactly the most lovable person in the galaxy. You're not even the most lovable person in this sector, or on the station. Or even in this room"

how many of those dumbass songs must I endure?

I'm really bored...

ughhh this is embarrassing

and THIS is creepy

(at least Odo is better than Barclay and backs off...)

he can just go to any other holosuite and interrupt whatever people are doing in there? D:

oh god, he can also use the station's com line?! SOMEONE DELETE THIS PROGRAM IT'S GETTING REALLY SCARY

kill me. or kill this episode with fire

ughhhh it's finally over bye. the scene with Quark was very good, but the rest... how come Kira and Odo by themselves are probably the most interesting characters but their romance is this utter dreck?

The Reckoning

why doesn't the universal translator work here?

how did the wormhole animals get here, anyway?

(I’m keeping this typo lmao)

for once, Winn is absolutely right!!

did he actually break it?.. this is not a dream?.. Winn won't be pleased

it's episodes like this when I miss TNG, and Picard's total refusal to treat Q like a god

this is getting stupider and stupider...

take a shot every time Sisko claims to know something 

you know your story is bad when Winn is the most, and probably only sympathetic character in it (and Kira spends the entire final scene talking how bad Winn is? what?) Winn is being rational and ends up saving lives while Sisko keeps justifying his shitty actions with weak babbling about how "The Prophets want this, they work in mysterious ways" -- have they switched bodies while I wasn't looking?!

Valiant

Jake has a nice stylish outfit

That's strange... Why didn't they return to the Federation space after the war began? Will that be the point of the episode -- that they continued the mission on their own out of sheer hubris?

so this poor girl and the others spend months trapped on a tiny ship inside enemy territory because that guy wants to feel adult and important and likes to play captain?

so, they finally found one specific battleship they had been looking for for 8 months? and it happened the next day after Jake and Nog come on board? is that just because Nog adjusted the warp drive?

dude! your job was to gather info! if that battleship kills you, you fail!

The First Duty 2

...but a lot more bloody D:

this episode was better than I expected

Profit and Lace

aaaalright, here we go, let's see if this really is the Worst Episode Ever

why is Ishka wearing clothes that accentuate her breasts? the clothes in the previous episodes were so baggy I assumed that Ferengi women don't have boobs

"...brilliant Ferengi female. Do you know any?" I suppose Pel wouldn't be able to get here fast enough?

okay, Quark reluctantly doing his best to advocate for female rights is actually pretty awesome

are u telling me all Quark needed to be a better person was a little estrogen?

I actually... didn't find this bad for a Ferengi episode? and it was more interesting to watch than some other episodes in this season -- I was genuinely unsure what would happen and was rooting for everything to turn out well! 

Of course I'd prefer if Ishka made the case for Ferengi feminism herself -- but, at least, the narrative is on its side this time, unlike at least one previous episode. And this time she has more agency than in her previous appearances (Zek's lover/hidden mastermind and damsel in distress) -- she's using her position of power to implement a whole new progressive law, and it even seems like she made it to Zek's side for that purpose and domestic bliss was a nice side effect. 

Quark as a woman is an objectively transphobic gag, of course (and yes I know that it’s my privilege that allows me not to be viscerally upset by it enough to immediately ruin the episode forever). But I didn't actually find it as nasty as the same joke in "Facets", where the narrative and other characters used it to made fun of him, and the shot of his head on Kira's body in "Meridian"; here it's for greater good, and being in a woman's shoes (literally) gives him some perspective, plus nobody seems to think sex reassignment surgery is a big deal. Other characters criticise Quark’s performance of femininity in the same tone as Worf criticised others’ performance of Klingon-ness. Like, I see that this is fundamentally Bad, but I was preparing myself to be outraged much more so it doesn’t feel that bad.

And it's gross that Quark sexually exploits his workers and the narrative doesn't punish him, but that happened before in season 1... 

Unlike, say, The Reckoning, it doesn't affect the show's overall plot or lore in a negative way -- I'd even say it's the opposite because of the big win for women's rights on Ferenginar. (It shows a frustrating lack of progress in Quark's character arc, but a lot of episodes share this problem...) So, even though this episode is unfunny and largely offensive, I don't feel it's exceptionally terrible -- just another example of the problems this show has always had. I have more problems with stories that break the entire show, than isolated episodes like this which can be easily skipped and ignored.

Time's Orphan

what about the Orb of Time, wouldn't it help?

Keiko, that's a terrible decision

I guess the episode will end with both Worf and the O'Briens realizing this parenting problem is too difficult for them, and they'll do what they should have done from the start and re-rescue Molly

No, Miles, your plan is horrible. If it works I'll never forgive this episode.

I'm glad it ended well. But feral!Molly was obviously a lost cause from the beginning...

The Sound of Her Voice

Odo, are you being shitty on purpose?

I was worried when Bashir didn't want to talk at the beginning, but this is almost scary!

I suspected something like this...

Julian no...

“I really care about all of you, even if sometimes it would appear that I care more about my work” says the guy who spent two seasons running after everybody like “PLEASE BE MY FRIEND!!!11!”

This entire thing looks like Julian and Miles are about to make a public proposal to each other...

"Someday we're going to wake up and we're going to find that someone is missing from this circle" *looks directly at Jadzia*

Tears of the Prophets

*sigh* Okay, I'm emotionally prepared, here we go

*sees Jadzia on screen* no I'm not prepared

ughh why are Bashir and Quark being so gross

where has he been all this time?

"I don't hold you responsible for Ziyal's death. You may have fired the phaser, but it was Benjamin Sisko who forced your hand" ????? dude. this is a stretch even by your standards.

"You've gone from being a self important egotist to a self deluded madman" Weyoun is not wrong

(but you know acknowledging within the story that your writing is shitty doesn’t fix the problem)

Klingons and Romulans!

why must I listen to this stupid song and look at Bashir and Quark being shitty and badly written

Oh great, the wormhole aliens can somehow contact him whenever and wherever they want, no orbs or travels to the wormhole necessary. WTF?

I like how Weyoun and Damar roll their eyes at Dukat's nonsense. same

"I've immersed myself in the study of the Bajoran ancient texts, and I've come to realize that the wormhole is much more than the gateway to the Gamma Quadrant. It's the Temple of the Prophets" o rly??? truly an astonishing discovery

congrats on finally getting the Renegade eyes, Dukat

what is Garak doing here?

ugh. 

Dukat went from the embodiment of the best storyline on the show to the embodiment of the worst storyline on the show

At least Weyoun and Damar keep reacting to his every word as "That's nonsense" so at least someone inside the story doesn't like this plot as well. I think Dukat has passed them the torch of being the fourth wall breaking meta character...

...but, you know, if the wormhole would really close forever I'd be glad. of course they'll find a way to reconnect with their "Prophets" somehow

I interrupt the ugly crying to ask: how the hell would Sisko's presence on the station have saved Jadzia's life?!

"for the first time in my life I've failed in my duty as a Starfleet officer" uh, how?! 

this is the worst season finale in DS9

Ohhh man... The season started so strong I was overjoyed. I've always wanted more stories set on Terok Nor during the occupation, and didn't expect the show to deliver in this way! The change of status quo was exciting -- it really felt like Shit Got Real and a serious war was on and things would not be the same again! And Kira's little storyline about normalization of oppression and fighting it, first of all inside one's own heart, was great. But then it just went downhill...

Odo's betrayal made me lose all sympathy and trust towards him forever, and even without that, his character arc was greatly weakened by the presence of the Female Changeling, who is the worst combination of uninteresting and unlikeable. When the Founders are somewhere out there, Odo's longing for them is poignant, but when you see them on screen being bland and annoying, the magic just evaporates. 

An underused female character fridged to make a male character's arc less interesting: he loses his Morality Chain, his mind, and complexity as an antagonist. It's just so lazy. His main redeeming quality is the love for his daughter, and we're tired of writing bad people who still have some sympathetic motivations, that's too difficult, so let's take the object of that love away from him to make him Purely Evil(tm). And since the plot requires this rationalist character to do something OOC in the finale, we need to make him crazy or it couldn't happen. He's evil because of mental illness, he's evil because he gets himself possessed by a demon, he's evil because he has red eyes -- that leaves the viewer with the impression that his previous crimes weren't bad enough, that the writers think overseeing colonisation/genocide for years is tolerable but five minutes of hate speech & one minute of glowing red -- that's the real moral event horizon! Mental illness made him evil, huh? Take that trope and throw it in the trash along with Intendant Kira's Depraved Bisexual trope. Hey, remember when this show was about dealing with the effects of war and oppression, and Dukat embodied the different ways that oppression manifests? well now he's a comicbook villain with glowing satan eyes who shoots death rays 

The wormhole aliens are now suddenly Good Gods hijacking bodies and using them for Voldemort-Harry ray battles

The best-forgotten stupid tropes about hyper-intelligence are dragged from TNG and pasted onto Julian

The writers pulled out of their asses Bashir and Quark's unrequited love for Jadzia?? Bashir's crush was cute in season 1, but he got over it long ago, and Quark has always been just friends with her. Bashir had such a nice friendship with her, and now he's wishing that her marriage would fail so he'd get a shot, even though she was never interested in him in the first place? Fucking disgusting. Way to compromise his character.

And, of course, as the final insult, they fucking killed Jadzia for nothing.

So, let me count: Jadzia literally dead. Dukat's character almost completely assassinated, Bashir’s comes pretty close. Odo's character weakened. Lore and plot of the entire series fucked up. God. I have no words anymore. How do you ruin something so quickly?!

[a-stitch-in-time-and-space]

Various Feelings About ASIT Part 6: Doctors (and other lovers) Part 2 of 2

What I'm mainly trying to do in this part is reconcile what the book is – a love confession to Bashir – with what is in the text – the opening overtures to his romantic relationship with Parmak.

So I'm going to use a little bit of looking at Parmak as a probable reason why Bashir might've taken awhile to get to Cardassia after reading that novel:

Parmak and Bashir are comparable in the same way I feel Pythas and Palandine are comparable. The latter shared their names with him at Bamarren, helped train some of his later most recognisable (often unhealthily utilised) traits, are too caught up on the system themselves to be good for him and vice versa. The former challenge his ways of thinking, have witnessed parts of his worst self and offered forgiveness without a catch, are incredibly kind and giving, make him do better simply by existing as they do.

There are too many quotes and a half about Garak lamenting the change in his and Bashir's relationship. A couple of them seem to indicate Bashir's own awareness, at least of the fact that they don't communicate as easily as they used to, but one thing the book never gives us (for obvious reasons being this is Garak's pov) is Bashir's reasons for drawing away.

[Excerpt fromt the book: Bashir smiled and accepted the invitation. I led the way back into the shop, and while I coaxed two teas - one red lead and one Earl Grey - from my ancient replicator in the back, the doctor strolled about as if he were genuinely interested in the various sartorial displays. He was clearly ill at ease, and I wondered how the gulf between us had widened to such an extent. I was determined to narrow it.]

I can (and do) hypothesise and headcanon, but I'd like to know if any other novels give us more perspective – perhaps one of Una Mccormack's, but that's awhile down the road for me yet.  In any case, Bashir and Garak drift apart. I wonder whether it looks different from Bashir's pov – does he think it was Garak pulling away because of the Cardassian conflict – they have an argument about it earlier on, in which Bashir unwittingly is rude about their society and Garak lashes out at him – or did he just have some sense of perhaps tension between them post-wire, that he misread as a wish on Garak's part wishing for him not to be around as often. How much has to do with his own PTSD (unexplored on the show and, so far, in subsequent books)... here is where I go into my own territory and think that the person he had the most trouble hiding his emotions from was Garak and maybe it was subconsciously easier to stay away from him, lest he be honest towards someone who wasn't being honest back (or he had no idea how to process his crush, so ran away from it, which, mood).

[”I’m keeping you from your business,” Bashir stood up. “I won’t take up any more of your time.” “I’m pleased you stopped by.” I was about to escort him to the door. “No, you’re not,” he said quietly. “Excuse me?” “Garak, I come from a culture that has perfected the ‘stiff upper lip,’ he explained with the same faint smile. “What does that mean?” It was a genuine question; there was a change in his attitude. “It means that we never complain, never admit to our feelings, never ask for help. It’s just not done,” Bashir explained. “And those people who ‘lack character’ and insist on airing their needs - especially in public - are subject to ridivule... and worse. Does that sound familiar?” “Perhaps,” I replied softly. “But I’m also a doctor, Garak. And I know which group of people suffers the most. I really won’t take up any more of your time.” He extended his hand, which he rarely did, and I took it. “Thank you for the tea.” He turned and went out the door. I stood there for a long moment, deeply upset. I felt trapped within myself, knowing what I had to do to get out but unable even to begin. Yes, Doctor, it does sound familar.]

There's so much of interest to explore in terms of Garak feeling like Bashir abandoned him and then running to another doctor (maybe Bashir thought that Garak had left him in turn – must of stung to think of him with another doctor) – not that I'm calling Parmak a rebound.

[Extract from the book: - be given a new brain. I rather enjoy this peripatetic politicking. It’s something I would never have done on my own. In some respects his is so much like you, Doctor. If I’ve found someone’s opinion insufferably boring, he’ll kindly but sternly lecture me on the value of tolerance.]

They both represent pivotal parts of his healing process: Bashir on Deep Space Nine removes the wire, makes him feel less lonely, quite probably is the main component in his belief in inter-species co-operation, fundamentally changes the way he wishes to live (is the first person outside of the little Circle of Secrecy that knows Tain is his father?), Parmak on Cardassia helps him reconcile with his past, takes the beginnings of political concepts he'd discussed with Bashir and puts them into practise, also literally everything about the fucking Memorial Statues, not to mention that time when Garak fully breaks and he helps him recover, (and Garak tells him freely that Tain is his father).

(also both Bashir and Parmak are horrified by the thought that Tain is Garak's father, which, mood)

Where is the change then? How come Bashir didn't work out and Parmak does? The answer possibly lies in reciprocity – where Garak couldn't offer what Bashir needed in return, he could do that for Parmak. This isn't a judgement, I'd say the problem is that Bashir didn't know what he needed and Garak wasn't open enough to maybe fully be considered someone Bashir could go to (even if both Bashir and Garak might've wished he was), while Parmak is much more grounded in who he is as a person and by the time they meet, so is Garak, because he utilises those lessons he'd learnt from Bashir. Oh the irony.

[Excerpt from book. Parmak asks Garak for advice: “You know, Elim, I’m neither a soldier nor a politician. I’m a doctor.” “I do know that. I also know that we’ve been betrayed by our previous leaders. Our only hope is that men like yourself can offer an alternative.” “But you have the expertise that can... .“Doctor, I have an expertise that comes from survival and compromise. There’s already plenty of that on the other side... and it’s not an alternative that will create a new and lastinf union.” “No, I suppose you’re right,” he conceded.”  “You’re a doctor, yes, and that’s your strength. I’ve learned something about your profession over the past several years. Don’t think like a politician. Think of the planet as a patient barely hanging on to life. Think like a doctor. How would you save this planet?” He considered what I’d said in his careful manner.]

Maybe a good indicator is that Garak never actually directly told Bashir that his first-name was Elim.

And then A Stitch In Time happens and all of those things that no-doubt must've frustrated Bashir to no end that Garak wouldn't share with him are laid bare in their entirety in a way that sounds like he'd love nothing better than to finally pick up where they faltered, with no more lies and secrets... only problem is it sounds like Garak might've found someone else and now it's too late.

[Excerpt. The last lines of the book: It has become my personal totem. I hope that someday you’ll have the opportunity to see it. Nothing would please me more. You’re always welcome, Doctor.]

I would love to ask Andy if I ever meet him if he thinks Bashir would have come to visit after that letter, despite everything that was written subsequently. After all, the last words were an express wish to see him again. Even if just as his friend, I feel like Bashir would've wanted to take him up on that offer...