#but i also think maybe this average dude who just ended up with the doctor by chance watching her commit genocide x3

[lesbiten]

dan and yaz got to watch the doctor commit a triple genocide

yeah exactly and THEY DIDNT EVEN BLINK!!!

[emcscared-whumps]

WiJ 2023 - 04: Share Whumperflies Media

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A Show/Movie/Book/Series that Gives Me Whumperflies

Honestly? I'm far too picky about whumpees and I don't consume all that much media (especially not these days since i have my own purpose-built character who is capable of hitting just about EVERYTHING I like) to have many items to rave about ^-^'

HOWEVER.

That does not mean that there is nothing :)

I'll go right back to the start, in fact (in rough order)... just keep in mind that I don't watch for whump, and these aren't whump recommendations except for one lmao, they're just what have managed to give me whumperflies in the past.

Cybergirl (2001-02)

An Australian sci-fi superhero T.V. series that was airing in the morning when I was a young kid, maybe 6 or 7, back before I understood how T.V. scheduling worked lol. I don't often get whumperflies from media, but I think this time, I did, and it's actually my earliest memory of whumperflies.

Cy ended up trapped in a Big Fancy House by the Big Bad, Rhyss. It's been many years since I last re-watched the show so I don't remember a whole lot except there was a lot of urgency and a zappy barrier that Cy couldn't pass through, and I definitely got some kind of feeling about that :)

The writing was very average, not very substantial for an older viewer, but it was excellent for a kids' show. There was so much lore that just never got expanded on, and it didn't go particularly hard with the whump :')

H2O Just Add Water (2006-10)

To no one's surprise, I ADORED this series as a kid. My obsession with mer had just started, and honestly, this shit FED ME. This was another Australian show that I watched when I was fairly young (again, 6-7 and onward), but I don't recall watching it when it aired. I instead had a collection of DVDs.

The girls and co got into some pretty interesting hijinks while trying to guard their fishy little secrets, but shit got REAL in season 6 when a marine biologist coworker of the friend of the girls' Lewis managed to leave a sample of their skin/scale in the lab... OOPS.

You can guess where that lead-- the scientist trying to track down the owner of the magic scale that could turn back into skin (somehow lmao, ~magic~), and she eventually trapped the girls in their little grotto with a gate that she had installed at the underwater entrance of their grotto spot on Mako Island.

Here's where I mention that I did not actually get whumperflies from this lmao, but it was a close one (the scientist didn't go far enough lmao). That's okay though :) One self indulgent decision just under 10 years later sure fixed that :))

Vampire Knight Anime (2008, English Dub aired in Aus in 2011)

The whole show. Every episode. I'm not even kidding. (Well, just about every episode lol, there was maybe only one where I didn't). As many problems as I have with the series, (mainly that every time I see Yuuki or hear her voice I want to strangle her), Zero was just so. fucking. scrunchy-- almost the perfect whumpee ^-^ And the English voice actor does such a glorious job of voicing Zero's pain, the whole series is ABSOLUTELY worth enduring Yuuki's stupidity.

Iirc, my favourite episode was Crimson Chains-- full of spoilers, a lot of plot bits come together at that point, so I can't say much other than that Zero's lost his shit and has a whole big scene where he writhes and pants on the floor with the agony of his hunger. I am convinced the author ALSO liked that XD

I would sit at night and watch that episode over and over and over because man, those whumperflies were something else, super intense, 11/10 lmao

Doctor Who (1963-present)

Nine had that one episode where he got caught by some collector dude and tortured to figure out what made him tick, or rather that he had TWO hearts that made him tick... Fun times, that DEFINITELY gave me whumperflies and had me furtively returning to the episode to keep watching that scene.

A lot of Ten's run had me by the throat, most memorably his regeneration at the start of his run, and his regeneration at the end directly after an hour (approximately) of whump was. AMAZING. I kept coming back to the start and end 😅

There were a couple more times I got whumperflies throughout his run. The main episodes that come to mind are Midnight, set on the planet of sapphires and lethal radiation, and 42, involving a spaceship hurtling toward a sun.

There was only one more whumpy instance, and that was that one movie they made. I forget who, when... EVERYTHING except the dude that played looked like Gene Wilder and it took place on NYE of the new millenium. It was another shitfight with The Master. ANYWAY. The whumperflies were at the START of the movie when The Doctor wasn't doing so well, I think he got shot?? And then rushed to the hospital, all while trying to avoid that and trying to communicate that they'll kill him

Supernatural (2005-20)

Ok. This one is weird in two ways. I forget which episode it was, but it was season 2 where Sam and Dean were trying to kick a group of vampires out of a town, but they were actually cool/chill vampires...?

Or at least some of them were...

ANYWAY.

This other hunter had this vampire chic tied to a chair baaaasically torturing her...? Memory's a bit foggy on what exactly what they were doing (the brainworms wouldn't stop wriggling about AUs), but I got these itty bitty whumperflies from that vampire lady getting hurt. That was weird because 1) I've only had whumperflies off the ladies once before watching Cybergirl which was SO long ago, and 2) I never have had them from watching a side-character, I usually have to be emotionally invested.

Weird right?? Absolutely wild though!

Anyway, that's pretty much everything, even though I've seen and read a fair few things lol, hope you enjoyed my rambling!

[five-rivers]

@lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks came up with this op!Danny/Marvel AU!

BTW I need help naming this newest proof that I can't keep anything to a short little one-shot.

.

Loki was not, and never had been, a good man. For that matter, whether or not he’d ever been a good boy was debatable. His mother would argue that he had, but she would very likely be the only one. Well, except for Thor, perhaps, but that was because he was an idiot who could drown in three inches of nostalgia. Like he didn’t remember every time Loki had humiliated him. Maybe he didn’t, for all that he kept falling for the same trick over and over again.

It made Loki’s late nights studying the arts of illusion, misdirection, and lying seem redundant. Almost. Not everyone was as dense as his big brother.

No. Loki had never been a good man. He had, however, been a free man.

Free to run or hide. Free to explore the nooks and crannies of Asgard, to uncover her secrets in ways few cared to do. Free to walk hidden paths between the Nine Realms and even farther flung territories, where his people did not and had never ruled, to play games, make deals, have adventures, take risks. To be. To exist as his own creature.

He had been free. He had.

But on one of those little secret excursions, he had discovered something that had made even his flippant, slippery heart clench with fear. A ravening plague, spreading across the stars. The death of half of everything on the horizon.

Loki was not a good man. What cause did he have to care for all the sundry others in the universe? There were too many. It was too much to ask.

But Asgard—His home, even though the had long ago realized the blood in his veins originated on very different soil. That was different.

Asgard, he could help. Asgard could survive.

But it had to be strong. It had to have strong allies. None of this barely-held peace, this enemy eternally at their gates. It needed strong leadership. Not his brother’s simplistic view and longing for the glory of war.

Loki was not a good man. But he was one who could get things done.

Before he knew it, he had burned all his bridges behind him. In one case, a literal bridge that was literally broken.

And he fell.

And he fell.

And he fell right into the hands of the one he had feared enough to do this. Broken enough for poison to drip into the cracks. No one knew where he was, no one could know where he was, except, perhaps, Heimdal, and Loki sincerely doubted Heimdal cared. No one was coming for him. No one was looking for him. No rescue was forthcoming.

He was alone.

Asgardians were considered gods for a reason. Their bodies and minds were much more resilient than the average mortal’s. But Thanos’s people had been titans, and there was a reason for that, too.

Thanos enjoyed breaking him.

And Loki turned his lies on himself. A skilled master of games always had one gifted opponent, even alone. Hadn’t he wanted to rule? To command? To see a world, any world, prostrate at his feet? To be given the recognition and praise of which he was so worth?

To pull something, anything, out of the fire?

(If he had spent less time learning how to spin lies and more on how to see the truth, he might not have believed it. A better, wiser, man would have. But Loki was not a good man. And he was very skilled in his craft.)

So, his new master put a weapon in his hands, and he went off to conquer a world.

.

Danny was used to rude awakenings. He was used to those rude awakenings being full body chills and ghosts, not someone knocking on his door.

Blearily, he pulled himself out from under the blankets. Quasi-military government facility or not, the beds were comfortable. Maybe Mom or Dad had gotten themselves locked out of their room? Or Jazz—No, not Jazz, she hadn’t come with them. She was at college, not being flown places by Mom and Dad’s suspiciously generous new consulting job.

At least it wasn’t the GIW.

He stood on tiptoe (curse his perpetually short body) to peer out the peephole. His parents’ buff, one-eyed, and incredibly imposing new boss stood in front of the door, hands on his hips, slightly sweeping back his long dark coat. If Danny listened carefully, he could hear two other people near the door, and… was that an alarm? Yes. Faint, but present, was a warning klaxon.

Okay. Danny would bet his right arm that something had gone horribly wrong with whatever his parents were consulting on. Didn’t explain why the boss was in front of his door.

Unless they’d gotten the rooms mixed up, somehow?

Ugh. Danny wasn’t paid enough to deal with this.

He opened the door. “What-?”

“Phantom,” intoned eyepatch guy with great solemnity.

Danny immediately tried to close the door. The guy stuck his foot in the jamb, and, sure, Danny could have crushed it, but that would be a jerk move. He didn’t think this guy was going for a pirate look, after all.

“We need your help.”

.

“I’m not sure what you think I can help you with,” yelled Danny over the beating of the helicopter blades. He’d remained stubbornly in human form. “My parents are the scientists. This sounds like a science thing. Not a punching-people thing.”

“We spoke to them earlier,” said Fury, “and we have plenty of scientists working on the theories they brought up. You’re the one with practical experience.”

“Practical experience in what?”

“Interdimensional portals,” said the woman, who had yet to introduce herself.

As if this whole thing wasn’t already giving him a bad feeling. “My parents built an interdimensional portal. Again, you should be talking to them. They’re the ones you’re paying.”

“We could pay you, too,” said Fury, “but we assumed you would want to avoid letting your parents know about this, as you’re still a minor and they have control of your bank accounts.”

Danny stared flatly. “This is blackmail.”

“We aren’t threatening you,” pointed out the woman.

“Emotional blackmail,” said Danny, glaring, daring her to challenge him on whether or not he actually knew what blackmail was.

In the meantime, the helicopter landed. Danny unbuckled and hopped out, trailing slightly awkwardly behind Fury and the woman. He didn’t want to stand out, but he suspected that, being the only kid here and being in the general vicinity of Fury, who radiated authority, that was a lost cause.

“This is Agent Coulson. Coulson, this is Phantom.”

Danny’s mouth went dry(er) at how casual the introduction was. His eyes went nervously to all the other people running around the field. With all the noise, it was unlikely anyone had heard, but still…

“Can you not? Secret identity and all? Unless you’ve told everyone herealready, which, rude.”

Fury sighed. “How bad is it?” he asked Coulson.

“We’re not sure,” said Coulson. “That’s the problem. Big fan of your work, by the way,” he added as an aside to Danny. He glanced at the woman. “Agent Hill.”

“Background?” asked Fury as he led the way into the building.

“The first energy surge was four hours ago. Dr. Selvig’s equipment picked it up – He’s the head scientist on this project.”

“Dr. Selvig isn’t authorized to test,” said Fury. “We wanted to run his plans by the Fentons.”

“He wasn’t testing. He wasn’t even in the room. He called it ‘spontaneous advancement.’”

“It turned itself on?”

“What are the energy levels?” asked Fury before Hill’s question could be answered.

“Climbing,” said Coulson.

“Mr. Fenton,” said Fury, “any comments?”

“Look, I don’t even know what this thing that you built looks like or what it’s a door to.” Danny frowned as a thought occurred to him. “You’re not expecting me to fight whatever comes out of it, are you? Because, unless you’ve got a ghost portal down there, I can’t make guarantees.”

“It’s called the Tesseract,” said Coulson. “It’s supposed to be a connection to the other side of space. A source of unlimited energy. At least,” there was a note of humor in his voice despite the evacuation taking place around them, “that’s what the scientists say.”

“A door to space?” asked Danny, firmly shoving down his excitement at the prospect. “Like, a Stargate?” It was no good, he could practically feel himself sparkling. He took a firm grip of his core and reminded himself he might need to fight before the end of the day.

“Well, no,” said Coulson. “It’s this little… cube… thing.” He made a shape with his hands.

“Oh,” said Danny, mind still whirring. “You know, if it’s really a tesseract, it isn’t a cube in just three dimensions, so bigger things could come out of it than you’d think.” He’d seen some weird portals in the Ghost Zone.

“Well, right now, we’re just getting energy.” They entered a large room with an extremely sci-fi setup. It looked like they were planning to shoot some kind of laser across the room onto a platform surrounded by strange-looking panels. There were men with guns scattered around in what was probably a well thought out formation Danny couldn’t see. There was also a dude with a bow sitting up in the rafters. He frowned down at Danny as he noticed Danny noticing him.

“Dr. Selvig!”

“Director!”

“What do we know?”

Danny allowed himself to be distracted by the centerpiece of the room, a piece of machinery built around what was indeed a little cube thing. He tilted his head and approached, trying to get a better view of it around the people in lab coats and protective gear currently swarming it. He caught mention of radiation a grimaced.

It was unlikely to kill him, but, really, everyone here should probably be wearing more PPE. You never knew what was going to come out of an interdimensional portal, after all. Except trouble. Trouble was a pretty safe bet.

It was pretty. Blue. Reminded him a little of a blue raspberry ice pop. Part of him wanted to lick it. Which was stupid. He didn’t want to wind up half what-ever-lived-on-the-other-side on top of his regular ghost nonsense.

“Mr. Fenton?”

Danny jumped and turned, refocusing on the adults, who had multiplied while he’d been daydreaming. The guy with the bow had joined them.

“Mr. Fenton? Like the Doctors Fenton I spoke to earlier?” asked Selvig.

“Yeah, it’s—”

This, of course, was when everything decided to explode. Sort of.

The blue cube shot out a beam of energy that had more than a little in common with the Fenton Bazooka’s portal setting. The beam terminated on the platform, a portal rapidly forming.

Danny slid into a fighting stance, and barely even noticed as blue energy washed over the room, throwing many less-prepared people back.

Something shaped like a man stepped through the portal.

Danny did not break his stance. Still. “An alien,” he whispered, eyes wide. If they were friendly, maybe they’d answer his questions about space. If they weren’t friendly, maybe they’d answer his questions about space after Danny beat them up.

(Danny did not go ghost. Did not even think about going ghost. There were too many people here, and the space was too open.)

Fury attempted to negotiate. Danny approved. Not everything that came through an interdimensional portal was necessarily evil.

Except this guy apparently was. Go figure. He could also deflect bullets and was very good with throwing knives, which led to Danny having to pull several of the gun guys out of their own line of fire as well as the alien’s line of knife. Who would have thought an alien’s weapon of choice would be throwing knives? The energy-blasting spear was much more in line with his expectations.

The bow guy proved to be more competent than the gun guys. This didn’t really surprise Danny. Bow guy sort of had to be competent. Otherwise, no way would they let him go around with a bow. Like, seriously. A bow.

Even so, bow guy was fighting an alien and—

“You have heart,” said the alien, raising the spear.

Danny pushed bow guy out of the way, and his mind fuzzed out.

(The human part of it, anyway.)

.

Loki didn’t know what a child was doing here, and he didn’t particularly care. The boy would do for a hostage, at least. He had a mission he had to fulfil, or else…

Or else.

“Please don’t,” he said turning with a shadow of his usual lazy affect, vaguely insulted that the human thought he could be sneaker that him, “I still need that.”

The human went on and on, apparently burdened with the delusion that he was on the same level as Loki.

Loki was burdened with other things. A glorious purpose. Glad tidings. Freedom. What could be better than freedom?

“A world free from what?” asked the human.

“From freedom,” said Loki, and wasn’t that what he believed, now? Wasn’t that what he’d been shown? “Freedom is life’s great lie.” He would know. He was an excellent liar. “Once you accept that, in your heart—” He batted away an arrow and tsked. “Shield me, boy,” he demanded. Had Thanos misrepresented the scepter’s powers? Or was the boy merely—

A dome of green surrounded him and the boy, thrumming with magic the likes of which he had only seen once, in a tome thrice forbidden.

“Oh,” said Loki, almost purring. “You are interesting. What are you?”

“Half human, half ghost,” replied the boy, tersely.

Loki had never heard of such a creature. No matter. He’d be sure to make good use of him.

“Grab the scientist,” he said, nodding at the balding man who had been with his brother when he’d fought the Destroyer in the desert.

Loki wanted the archer. He seemed interesting. Useful.

.

Fenton was under thrall. Phantom knew what that felt like. A hundred feet under red water, trying not to drown, whispers everywhere. Pulling. Pushing. Prodding.

This was different, but the principle was the same.

Neither half of him could truly ‘fight’ the other. Fenton and Phantom were a single entity. Not two in lockstep. Even so.

Fenton grabbed onto Dr. Selvig, as ordered. Phantom made sure that was all they did.

“What are you doing, boy?” snapped Loki. “Follow me! Bring the scientist.”

And so, they followed.

.

Loki breathed. Acquiring Barton had been the right choice. The boy was powerful, but, perhaps because of his unique biology, did not have Barton’s presence of mind, and couldn’t have led him to such wonderful allies.

Allies.

These weren’t truly his allies. Nor were they subjects. They were…

Loki forced himself to breathe. He just had to follow the mission. Follow the mission, let Thanos’s army through. He’d been promised this world. He would have this world.

And then he could be… His mind stuttered over the next word, and he shook his head, trying to drive out the painful buzz of Thanos’s herald and mouthpiece trying to contact him.

He looked up at the drones bustling around, all according to his will. Except the boy, who stared at him, somehow managing to be both utterly blank and challenging at the same time.

He was alone, here.

He was alone.

But what did it matter? Bad men always wound up alone, and Loki… Loki could never be a good man.

[enderspawn]

op I am pleading for you to talk about c!Schlatt I keep getting interrogated for saying c!Schlatt was the best president and he really didn't do anything super terribly wrong please talk about him

i mean... im sorry anon but idk abt best PRESIDENT. manburg under schlatt.... kind of sucked imo JFKDLSJFKL

1. manburg had massive food shortages, to the point the average citizen (including fundy) had to eat spider eyes to survive.

2. he imposed ludicrious tax of his civillians (namely niki. we dont know if he did that to Every Business like w fundy or if he targeted niki specifically bc of her closeness to the ex-president, but neither is good)

3. exiled those who he saw as political opponents to keep his power

4. straight up ignored his cabinet a lot of the time to make his own decisions (such as destroying the white house, which led to quackity leaving)

5. was widely hated by all the citizens. literally at one point all the ppl left in manburg was schlatt and jack manifold (who was MIA on the server and left to found Manifold Land when he came back)

6. held a public execution, AGAIN without the consent or knowledge of his cabinet (IF I REMEMBER RIGHT. i know big q opposed the execution at minimum, but idk for sure if he knew it was planned at all before the festival)

7. was basically at war his entire presidency thanks to pogtopia's existence

and thats just what i can think of rn! the reasons i like c!schlatt are fully based around him as a character and HIS personal development, not around his policies or actions. especially when compared to the other two presidents, who either won or prevented a war and kept the majority of its citizens happier and healthier than Manburg, he's.... probably the worst president they had tbh

BUT since you gave me an excuse to ramble abt him anyway, i wanna go on abt what i DO like abt him (under a cut bc this post is already kinda long oops) but

tldr; i like schlatt bc of his relationships with others, his flaws and pitiable moments, and how he is a fantastic parallel/foil to the characters around him

I like his complex (and yes, abusive) relationship with quackity, especially after his death and quackity's feelings flipping rapidly between hating him and missing him. but before that they did have a honeymoon-esque period-- at least from quackity's view.

watching their date you get the idea schlatt mightve never really been interested in him and mightve just been using quackity's interest in him for his own advancement! but we dont know.

maybe he did truly love quackity in his own fucked up way in the end, even if he wasnt a good person. maybe he regrets his actions and cruelty. or maybe he doesnt.

in the end they were (like the animatic i linked said) "built from the same dirt", they're both incredibly ambitious and prideful people and parallel each other a LOT (see: q's need for power, his want to execute ranboo paralleling tubbos execution, etc). they're not good for one another, but i love seeing just how they fall apart together (i hope you die, i hope we both die kind of beat)

and.... god his relationship and impact w fundy i could ramble abt all day dude. fundy kept schlatt's sword after his death and calls it an heirloom. we dont know 100% how old fundy was when wilbur was exiled (i mena... he ran for president but current fundy is like 20something and tommy ALSO ran as vp at 16) but we can assume he was a late teen. his own father was gone, but schlatt... seemed to CARE. he showed him affection.

fundy's never truly felt like hes BELONGED anywhere (even the country his father said was all for him, he felt ostracized and made different by his fathers doting babying) and because of that hes always looking for a group to be a part of. hes a people pleaser (its part of why hes so easy for big q to get for las nevadas).

and schlatt GIVES him that feeling of belonging he deserves. hes a spy the entire time, yes, but he becomes conflicted about it as time goes on.

could schlatt just be using fundy and filling his head with empty praise? sure, i couldnt fault you at all for that interpretation, its perfectly valid. BUT, i dont think so. he seemed genuinely shocked to see fundy oppose him on nov 16th. remember, he didnt know fundy was a spy.

in that moment he realizes just HOW alone he is and always has been. and its a tragic moment: the last person he had, the person he himself mightve truly CARED about left him just like everyone else. he was alone, truly and fully. even his allies were only there out of obligation and bc of him paying.

he knows his health has been failing him. he cant even swim due to muscular issues but he refuses see a doctor about it because he refuses to let himself be seen as weak.

hell, one could argue that issue leads to his abraisive and abusive behavoir in relationships: he refuses to let himself be true and genuine to anyone, there always has to be a wall and a proud perfect persona. its part of why hes a great villain both in narrative and to watch as a casual fan: just like c!wilbur, he's playing an act.

hes a foil and a parallel to wilbur. both are men who hide their true selves behind a certain role or persona they feel they have to play while they hide their crumbling health (schlatt's more physical and wilbur's more mental). both experience their rise and fall. but wilbur isnt despised, even if he thinks he is, while schlatt isnt truly loved by anyone, even if he thinks he is.

most of all, their deaths couldnt be more different. wilbur went out with a bang. a large dramatic scene fit for a storybook, with a long monologue and cinematic final blow ALL made to fit how he saw himself in a story and simply filling a required roll. but schlatts death is practically overlooked (especially in comparison to wilburs death and everything else that happened that day).

he built his entire persona about being this massive, larger than life powerful guy but he died small, weak, and frail to his own failing body. its... pitiful, honestly. it doesnt feel fitting, it feels wrong. his life up that point demanded drama, but his death was nothing more than... an accident, almost. unintentional. clumsy. its fucking brilliant.

[13uswntimagines]

Our Troublemaker (USWNT x Baby!reader)

Request: uswnt x reader where reader gets into some trouble at a pride event they all go to, when they get back to hotel reader is punished and then fluff and cuddles to end

Author’s Note: Special thanks to @literaryhedgehog​ for her addition of fluff and mediation of my crazy thoughts. So this universe can be taken several different ways, as i didn’t explicitly define it. Feel free to interpret it in your favorite context. Also, I would totally be down for continuing this universe... Hit me up with Questions, comments or if you just wanna say hi!

You hadn’t meant to start a fight. Well, that was a half-truth. You had totally meant to tell that ignorant ass that he was being a homophobic dishrag. What you hadn’t meant was for him to punch you in the face, and the team to get involved in defending you from his drunk ass. So here you were, being carried over Lindsey’s shoulder back towards your hotel. 

You wiggled again in a vain attempt to get her to put you down. “Come on Linds, I can walk,”

“Yeah, you couldn’t be trusted to stand with Mal for 5 seconds on your own, and you might have a concussion,” Alex answered for the blond, and sent you a glare that oozed “try me,”

 “I don’t have a concussion, and I couldn’t let him talk to Mal like that,” You pouted up at her raised eyebrow. It was tough considering you were over someone’s shoulder, but you managed. 

“Next time you wanna show off for your girlfriend, try not to pick a fight with a guy four times your size,” Kelley laughed, patting your lower back. You frowned. Mal wasn’t your girlfriend. Yet. 

“I didn’t think he would hit me,” You grumbled, flopping down, Lindsey gripped your legs harder so she didn’t drop you on your head. That was all you guys needed right now. 

“Well he did, so let’s get you back to the hotel trouble,” Alex said, pointing towards the building down the street. Lindsey nodded, swinging you around as she turned and began to walk that way again. 

“I’m not trouble,” you complained

“No it just follows you everywhere, and has earned you no ice cream tonight,” Kelley rolled her eyes. 

“I’m not Sonnett, ice cream isn’t the love of my life,” you said, trying to act like you weren't pouting. So maybe the team treated some of the youngins like they were a little younger than their age. You all loved it, and you craved the structure it brought to your life. 

“Wanna make it for the rest of the week?” Alex asked, with her signature eyebrow arch. You grumbled back a no, along with several inaudible complaints. You knew how creative the woman could be with her punishments and you really didn’t want to test her. Your face hurt and you really just wanted to bury your head under a pillow and scream. You had protected Mal, you shouldn’t be in trouble. 

Your pout was strong all the way to the hotel and up the elevator, not wavering at all until Lindsey set you down in the corner of Alex’s room. You tilted your head at the woman in confusion. 

“This isn’t my room.”

“No, it’s not. You get 10 minutes in the corner for putting yourself in danger,” Alex said, her arms crossed across her chest. 

“I didn’t put myself in danger. I just told that dude to lay off. We were in an outdoor bar, there were plenty of people around. I thought societal convention would trap that dude into not making a scene.”

“No, you got punched in the face and almost had a beer bottle smashed over your head to impress a girl who already has a massive crush on you,” Alex exclaimed. 

“She does?” You asked, eyes wide. 

“Not the point Y/n,” Kelley shook her head. 

“The fact is, you engaged with a drunk homophobe on your own. There are times to engage, and that was not one of them. Now sit!” Alex said, dragging a chair to the corner and pointing at it, “your time out starts now.”

You sat down wordlessly, staring down at your hands. You knew that there was no getting out of this one. One of them had a scrape on the palm from where you had landed on the gravel. 

The minutes seemed to drag by, and you fidgeted more and more with every passing second, picking at the cuts on your hands. 

There was a knock on the door. “Stay,” Alex commanded, looking at her watch, “you still have two minutes left.” Behind you, you heard someone go to the door and open it. 

“I got your text,” Becky’s voice came from the doorway. You slouched in your chair, partially from embarrassment, partially from relief. They hadn’t called the medics. And at least they hadn’t called Carli, she duct-taped an ice pack to you the last time you got a bruise. But still, you hated that more people would know that you had gotten yourself into trouble again. “I brought a first aid kit and an ice pack. Also some duct tape, in case she tries to escape.”

 You shook your head, not finding the comment funny. You weren’t going to try and escape, your face was throbbing by this point, and you would rather they took care of you then leave you to fend off Jill and Dawn by yourself.

Alex’s watch beeped three times, signaling the end to your time out. You sighed in relief. Sitting still was never your strongest suit. 

“Come sit on the bed, Y/N,” Becky said, pulling Lindsey’s comforter straight and opening up the first aid kit on one side of it. You blinked twice, staring at the spot. You never liked getting fixed by the medics, and Lindsey’s bed looked lonely. 

“Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven.” You looked at Lindsey in confusion, as she started counting. “Three. Two One. That’s it.” Lindsey picked you up and sat down with you on the bed, situating you in her lap. 

You started to move and realized she had grabbed your hands and pulled them across your chest, essentially putting you in a human straightjacket. 

“Sit still and let Broon make sure you are alright you absolute badger of a human being. You are a great defender, on and off the field Y/n. But it won’t kill you to let someone else take care of you for once.”

You huffed and sunk down in Lindsey’s lap, finally stopping your struggle to get free. It was going to happen whether you wanted it to or not. 

Becky shined a flashlight in your eyes and wiped down a cut on your lip with an antiseptic wipe. You winced slightly. 

“Hand.” 

Lindsey let go of one of your arms so you could put your scraped palm into Becky’s outstretched hand. She wiped it down with gentle strokes, checking to make sure there wasn’t any gravel pieces still in it. 

She nodded at Lindsey who released you and pushed you lightly next to her on the bed. Becky stood up from her crouch, slapping her hands on her jeans as she did. She went over to the dresser where she had set a small bag of ice and brought it over to you as Kelley sat down on the other side of you. 

Alex picked up the chair you had spent your time out in and placed it in front of you, straddling the back of the chair and leaning on it’s back as she looked at you. “Do you understand why we’re upset with you Y/n?” While she spoke, Becky perched on the bed and folded her hands in her lap. 

“Yes, but I wasn’t going to let him hurt Mal,” You mumbled, playing with your fingers. Yes you had been reckless, and probably could have ended up in way worse shape, but you weren’t going to let him disrespect the two of you like that. Her like that. 

“Love, we are so proud of you for standing up like that. You shouldn’t have to deal with hatred from strangers for being who you are,” Becky started softly. 

 “But you are going to have to deal with a lot of it in your life. And we need you to promise you won’t confront someone like that alone.” Alex finished seriously. They would never be able to get the image of little you standing toe to toe with a 6-foot tall man out of their heads. 

“There’s a reason we’re called a team. We work together, back each other up. And strength in numbers is usually more convincing to the average asshole bully than a lone ranger. Let us defend you sometimes.” Kelley chimed in, nudging you with her elbow.

“And if you’re alone, walk away. It sucks, but it’s better to live another day than die on your sword. You can't win every battle, and the world is a much better place with you in it,” Lindsey said, squeezing you in a sideways hug.  

“Fine, I won’t provoke any more dishrags,” you said, in mock exasperation. 

Kelley snorted, and you saw Alex’s lips twitch slightly as she nodded, “Good.” You would always be their troublemaker, but at least they knew you would try. Even if it was only for a little while. 

You snuggled deeper into Lindsey and Kelley, smiling as Alex joined Kelley’s side. The room was quiet for a few minutes before you blurt out a sleepy “Do you think Mal will think I’m more badass now that I have a scar?” 

Becky laughed, standing to pack away her first aid things. “Oh yes, the most badass. Now if you’ll excuse me cuddle bug, I should get back to my room. I have my own troublemaker to attend to.” She walked to the doorway and paused turning back to you. “One more thing. Y/n? You have to spend the night in here for observation. Doctor’s orders.”

“Those are agreeable terms I guess,” You shrugged. That had been your plan anyway. 

“My cuddles are better than just agreeable,” Kelley huffed, bumping your cheek with her nose. 

“Of course they are squirrel,” Alex laughed, kissing her temple. 

Yes, you were a troublemaker, but you were their troublemaker. 

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

Remade AU List for BNHA. Whoa boy.

I decided ONLY to do ones I would love to work on myself for fun because like… dude, WE MADE SO MANY HOLY SHIT.

Relative AUS

These are AUs where Izuku’s related to *inster character*. Mostly parents.

Izuku Many Dads: AU where Izuku’s mom goes to a sperm bank as she is AroAce and wants kids. The sperm bank is a front for a shady buisness where a branch of the HPSC is trying to breed new heroes by using sperm collected from heroes who are worried about injuries making them unable to have kids in the future. Sperm is collected during teenage years so we have choices. Would be a Series thing with multiple possibilities and choices.

Aizawa Izuku AU: Aizawa is Izuku’s dad. Pairing is ShinDeku

Izuku has Fire Wings: AU Where Hawks and Dabi had a baby, time travel happens and Izuku is their baby. Pairing Undecided.

Uncle Might: Inko’s long lost brother is none other than All Might. Pairing is ShinDeku and also Inko ends up with Nighteye. All Might is Aro/Ace and loves his sister and nephew

Inko has a Hero SO AU

AUs where Inko gets with a Hero of Some sorts

Kitty Midoriyas: Izuku and Inko have cat Quirks and Aizawa falls for Inko. Pairing is undecided really. Maybe traffic light trio, maybe not.

YamaDad: Inko and Present Mic get together. Izuku remains Quirkless and wants to be the first Quirkless Hero. Shinsou is adopted by Mic and Inko. IidDeku is the pairing I tentatively want but that might change.

Quirk AU

AUS where Izuku has a Quirk

Omega Quirk: Izuku’s Quirk basically has him be like an omega from fanfics. Sorta. Is currently a fanfic as well. Pairing so far undecided. Best friends with Shinsou

Let’s Start a Riot: Izuku has a Quirk that when he screams, he starts riots. Side effects has those affected unable to use their Quirks at all. Uncle Aizawa. Inko is part of a support group for parents of kids with ‘villain’ Quirks. Good Toga, Pairing is MonoShinDeku

Workout Music Enhancement: Izuku’s Quirk is when he listens to music he is able to preform above average. Not to superhuman levels, but when he is like seven he can run as fast as an average 10-year-old. Best friends with Jirou, Pairing is ShinDeku with Side EraserMic

Gender/Sex Swap Quirk: Izuku is able to swap between male and female. Is genderfluid and stills gets OFA. Pairing: AoyDeku

Nothing Unique: AU where a scout for hero schools goes to Aldera as a punishment duty and discovers that Izuku is highly intelligent. The basis of the AU is that Quirks aren’t Unique and most schools prefer things like brains not related to Quirks. Also, a person with a Quirk similar to AFO is around and works with the Thailand Government and Izuku gains a Quirk publicly. 

Magic Baby AU: Izuku has a Quirk that lets him have kids. Full explanation Here

Selkie AU: Magic made Quirks and Izuku’s dad was a Selkie. Has Izuku discovering this, Inko going to jail and Izuku being taken in by vampire Aizawa and his husband Mic.

Support Izuku AU (title pending): Izuku is able to boost people’s Quirks and gains strength from those he is bonded with.

Fake Quirk AUs

Izuku Fakes a Quirk AUs

Glitter Izuku: Izuku ends up covered in Glitter one day and says it’s his Quirk Sarcastically. People believe it. He rolls with it and then claims that he produces it every night while sleeping. Showers with glitter to make it look realistic. Becomes a Hero. No Pairing Yet

Analysis Izuku: A new doctor after the toe joint is proven fake helps Inko fake that Izuku has an analyst Quirk to protect him. Izuku’s mentor ends up Nezu and he becomes a Hero. Pairings undecided, keep changing mind.

Mimic Izuku: Thanks to his observation abilities and focus, Izuku is able to mimic people fairly well. Ends up claiming it’s his Quirk after a while. He gains amazing acting skills and fools a lot of people. Pairing: ShinDeku

Fem!Izuku AUs

Aus where Izuku’s a girl.

Lesbian Izuku: A series where F!Izuku is gay and has a variety of girlfriends. Usuaully I get to cause pain to other characters with One Sided Feelings

Betrothal Verse: AU Where F!Izuku is able to have a powerful child and ends up in an arranged marriage. Is a series. Pairings are: Iideku, TodoDeku, TokoDeku, ShinDeku and HawksDeku.

Quirkless AUs

AUs where Izuku remains Quirkless

Izuku Mode: AU where Izuku is aged up and went to UA with Aizawa and them. Is a fashion designer who also does hero costumes thanks to All Might choosing him. Has AiDeku and ToshInko. Follows Canon, just with Izuku coming in.

Another Idol: During an international hero fighting competition, Izuku discovers that there are Quirkless heroes in other countries thanks to one of the finalists being Quirkless. Izuku gains another idol fast here.

Pastel Izuku: TodoDeku AU where Izuku is a soft pastel boy whose stepdad is Tsukauchi and Shouto was taken by Dabi when he left. Tsukauchi picks up Shouto, and the famous: Is he cute joke happens. Izuku does meet Shouto and ends up with him. Izuku is Quirkless and ends up in UA. Shouto and Dabi aren’t villain villains here but are criminals.

Izuku’s Boyfriends: Uhhh, older Izuku where he ends up with Dabi/Shiggy/Overhaul. It’s more of a rambling idea of mine where he is older, is trans and has a kid and like… okay I dunno. It’s just me having fun. Series

Raising Kacchan: Izuku is older and is raising Bakugou. He ends up at UA where he teaches the hero course kids. Shinsou, Hawks and Tensei all like him and are interested (Shinsou aged up). Dabi also has an interest due to Izuku being behind Endeavor losing his hero license.

Babies

AUs where someone has a kid

Stone Cold Sober AU: Izuku is an Omega and the doctor who declared him Quirkless discovers he has OFA as he works with AFO. OFA users who carried kids have like super powerful children so the doctor takes the chance to experiment by using sperm stolen from a hero sperm bank to try and impregnate Izuku. Would be a series with multiple possible parents of the kid.

Older Sister AU: Izuku has an older half-sister who comes to Japan when their dad dies. Both are Quirkless. Has Bad Inko who leaves and sister is now in charge of Izuku. Sister is a stripper who becomes an informant for underground heroes. Izuku is trans and has a kid due to a shitty boyfriend. Still gets OFA, I… I don’t think I gave it a pairing. DOes have OC/Aizawa

Dad Izuku: Izuku is a single dad. Mother died in childbirth. Has Inko be a terrible mother who wanted to sell Izuku to Overhaul. Overhaul leans about OFA, Izuku is taken in by All Might. Izuku is raising his kid and is happy, thank you.

[rainythefox]

Nightfall (CH.16)

Synopsis: Pre-Resident Evil 1, slight-AU/Canon Divergence. Claire Redfield comes home to visit her  brother Chris for the holidays but gets caught up in a dangerous game of  cat and mouse with Albert Wesker, the Captain of STARS, after stumbling  upon dark secrets. She can’t call the law; Wesker is the law, and she  can’t tell Chris. She is trapped…Claire/Wesker & Slight Chris/Jill (There’s Wesker & William Bromance too lol). Rated M for smut, language, violence, adult content.

AO3 Link

Chapter 16: Mine

Warning: this chapter contains lots of smut. You’ve been warned, okay? Okay! :P Because of this, only the first section of the chapter is available on Tumblr. Please follow the link to AO3 to read the rest. Thank you! :)

Okay, she knew her luck had taken a big dump recently, but this was ridiculous! If she thought the university job was difficult, she promptly changed her mind. That was a walk in the park compared to this. Claire stared at all the people. The exquisite party was happening at the ritzy Orient Restaurant on the second floor of the most luxurious hotel in the city, Central Hotel.

There had to be close to a hundred people here! The whole restaurant was closed to cater for the invitation-only event. Why did she even assume this “Christmas Party” was going to be just a group of rich, old dudes bragging all night? With how her luck has been, she should've known better!

Claire gaped at the man beside her who was unfortunately the closest thing she had to a friend at the moment. She recalled William’s little “briefing” on the drive over here.

“The party’s not gonna be that big. Just a simple “get in, get out”. You’ll be home in no time! Actually, you’ll probably be at Al’s home in no time!”

He was still rubbing his arm where she decked him.

“This is nothing like how you explained it!” she hissed.

But the mad scientist only half-heard her, his eyes lit up as though he was a kid about to enter his very first amusement park. Something in here was on his kill list because Claire overheard he wasn’t a stranger to parties, at least not to parties like this that could get him something he wanted. 

William was actually quite handsome all cleaned up in his suit. Claire had grown accustomed to his usual disheveled appearance that made him attractive in his own way.

He grinned slyly. “Oh relax, sweetheart. You’ll be fine. Most of these people are total bores…losers just out trying to feel important. They got nothing on you!” He winked at her. “You know what to do, who to find. Ada’s on your earpiece and Al and I are here to watch your back. Don’t worry. Al _definitely _won’t let you out of his sight. Just…don’t distract him too much. I need him focused tonight.”

“Are you fu-”

“Erica!” William nearly squealed, waving both arms and abruptly abandoning her. “Is that gown designed by Broca’s aphasia? Because I’m speechless!” 

Claire glared at the fickle bastard as he ditched her to join some other people standing around talking and drinking. She was on her own for now.

“Forget about him, Claire. Just focus on getting to Bennett. Best not drag this out longer than we have to and risk exposing ourselves,” Ada said on her earpiece.

“Okay,” she mumbled, and got into character, her natural Redfield bravado and assurance making it easy to stroll through the party like she owned the place.

It was a beautiful Asian restaurant. Most of the dark tables were accented with candles and glasses. The lounge-like chairs were colorful and comfy, and the tall ceilings gave way to soft LED string lights, oriental paintings and sectioned lattices. In warmer seasons, the same kind of setup could be seen on the massive balcony, but it was currently closed off.

She felt many eyes on her as she started her objective. But she only cared about one set of eyes as she discreetly scanned the place for them.

This many people here was both a blessing and a curse for her mission, and it could go either way real quick at any time. More people meant no room for mistakes, too many eyes. But on the other hand, this many people distracted amongst themselves could make it easy to get away with nearly anything.

Claire soon found the eyes she had been seeking, felt the familiar, pleasing burn on her skin they always caused. She traced them to an area with more people, where a grand, gold statue of Lord Yama sat. Directly in front of the god of death, Wesker was encircled by a small group, mostly beautiful women, and he charmed them effortlessly.

The younger Redfield had to keep herself from staring, also charmed by his chameleon smile, good looks, and striking black suit. Her nerves tingled from simmering blood. She couldn’t believe it. She was actually jealous?! Claire was angry with herself. How could she possibly feel anything of the sort over the man that was blackmailing her?

Besides...she knew Wesker well enough by now to know that it was all pretense. She was sickened and enthralled by how easily he could deceive and influence people. Ada was right. His calculating mind, his clever tongue, those were his deadliest weapons; not his hands, not his gun.

The statue of Yama was simply a backdrop to the true god of death in the room. His admirers probably had no clue and listened intently. The women batted their eyes, pushed out their chests, even the ones who had dates. And those men did nothing about it, perhaps too enthralled themselves or maybe it was the fact that Wesker had an uncanny ability to make most men around him submissive.

He may have looked like he was paying attention to them, his eyes concealed behind black shades, but Claire knew he was watching her. All of her. Every breath, every step, he was in complete tune. Something about that lit a fire in her belly so fierce, she trembled.

The jealousy she felt instantly crumbled. It didn’t matter if those women were rich or prettier or dressed in nicer dresses. They meant nothing to him. Not like she did.

And why was that, exactly?

Claire frowned, faltering mid-step, eyes still locked on Wesker across the room when she should've been moving on. She had some suspicions, if her gut and Ada and William were anything to go by. 

More importantly, why do you care?

“Claire?! Earth to Claire, hello?”

“Huh?”

“You aren’t exactly being inconspicuous staying in one spot drooling over Albert.”

Claire’s face flushed and she briskly walked away with a huff. “I’m not drooling!”

The first place she needed to check for her target would be the bar. Typical. It was in the back of the restaurant, low-lit, a massive, semi-circled bar with a marble countertop up against an airbrushed wall depicting a dragon floating through the clouds.

“Whatever you say, hun.”

Claire bit her tongue, taking a deep breath. “I was just happy to see him chatting up other women. Less problems for me.”

Ada sighed. “Claire, fishing is beneath you. First, they aren’t his type. More importantly, Albert detests easy women.”

That wasn’t her intention. “I wasn’t-”

“Unfortunately and fortunately for you, you are his type and are as difficult as they come. I probably shouldn’t be saying this, but you’re as close to obsession as he’s going to get romantically.”

The only fortune she could come up with was that it was unlikely Wesker would kill her. But obsession through people with sociopathic and psychopathic tendencies like Wesker were never a good thing. Her life might be spared at the end of all this...but at what cost?

Claire briskly pushed that thought aside, something cold and heavy dropping in the pit of her stomach. She needed to focus on finding Bennett and getting this over with. That was her excuse. After all, she wasn’t ready to acknowledge that her own growing infatuation would likely veer her into her captor’s arms for good.

She looked around the bar area. There were all kinds of high-status people attending Bard’s Christmas party. Doctors, politicians, city officials, even Mayor Warren and Chief Irons were here.

She recognized Mueller from Raccoon University having a casual conversation with the man that had to be her target. A picture was never granted, but a detailed description allowed her to quickly analyze him. It had to be him. Tall, average build, auburn hair and an anchor beard. He chatted with Mueller with a drink in his hand.

Just as Claire stepped their way, a strong grip snatched her wrist. She was spun around, coming face-to-face with Nathaniel Bard. He looked fine since the anaphylaxis she put him through with the shrimp, but the creep wasn't happy one bit with her, still keeping a painful grip on her arm.

"I knew I'd see your face again, girl. What happened at the university is all your fault."

Claire glared at him. "You're gonna be hurting more if you don't let me go right now."

The music and all the guests chatting around them helped conceal her threat from eavesdropping ears but the Spencer Memorial doctor heard her clearly.

He considered challenging her, lips pursing, but soon let her go after his eyes scanned the numerous faces within the party. "I know you're working with those two bastards. You have no idea how much harm you’ve caused me and several of my colleagues. Lowery was a good man, understand? He had a family. And now I’m trapped doing those two psychos’ bidding.”

“Maybe you aren’t the only one who is trapped.”

“Well then there’s more to your pretty face, isn’t there? They wouldn’t risk it otherwise.”

Who the fuck did this guy think he was? Claire clenched a fist, as it took all of her willpower not to break his damn nose. She had a job to do here. If she caused a scene in the middle of this party, especially with the man hosting it, then she could kiss her freedom and potentially Chris’s life goodbye.

She did let him in on what he was narrowly missing out on by grabbing his hand and twisting it slightly, squeezing hard on a pressure point. Just enough to make it really hurt, just enough to get her point across while looking like she was just holding his hand to nearly everyone else. “If my life didn’t hinge on fulfilling this job, you’d be on the floor with a broken fucking face, do you understand me?”

“Damn, Claire. I like your style,” Ada chimed in.

The younger Redfield ignored her and smiled, showing the guests they were having a pleasant conversation. Bard hissed in pain, quickly nodding. Claire released him and he jerked his hand away, shaking it off with a grimace.

“Listen, I’ll make the job easy for you. Just...do what you need to do and get out of here. Take those assholes with you. And never show your face at one of my social events ever again.”

“I’d love to, but it’s not my call. But...I have a feeling you know exactly who you can talk to about that.”

Bard scowled, rubbing his injured hand. He muttered something under his breath and motioned her to follow him, heading towards Bennett and Mueller in the back of the bar. “C’mon, and follow my lead.”

“Ugh, he better not screw this up.”

Bard put on a welcoming smile once they reached Mueller and Bennett’s table. Mueller recognized her, but didn’t say anything. She barely got a moment’s glare from him before he flashed Bard a guarded look, as if asking “what are you up to now?” The two men stood and the doctor shook their hands.

“Mr. Bennett! I trust you are enjoying the party? What kind of host would I be if I was neglecting my honored guest?”

He looked to be in his thirties maybe. His smile was warm as he nodded. He noticed Claire nearly right away, and there was a definite reaction of some kind. Attraction, she guessed, immediate infatuation. Great…

“Oh yes,” he said in a European accent. “I am grateful to you and Greg’s hospitality. You’ve made being so far from home much more bearable.”

“Good, good! It’s a shame your business partner couldn’t join us this evening. But I’m sure he had his reasons. You two are busy men, after all!”

Bennett nodded, composed yet amiable. “That we are. I’m sorry, but I have to ask, who is this beautiful young lady you have with you?”

Bard didn’t skip a beat in his front, presenting her with a grin like she was a piece of treasure up for auction.

“I know, stunning right? This is Elza. She’s one of my...assistants.”

The European man held out his hand with a handsome, friendly smile. It could’ve fooled anyone, and it almost fooled her. But her gut constricted at the last moment, her first indication something wasn’t right about this guy.

He took her hand and kissed it softly. “It is my utmost pleasure, Miss Elza. I’m Stephan Bennett. Please, just call me Stephan.”

Claire put on the sweetest smile she could muster, batting her lashes. “The pleasure’s all mine, Stephan.”

He looked her over, and although he was an attractive man, it made her skin crawl.

“Has Greg taken you up to your suite yet?” Bard asked cordially. “I’ve left you a little treat as a thank you for choosing to stay the night in Raccoon City’s famous Central Hotel!” 

Bennett ripped his eyes from Claire and shook his head at the host. “No, sir. I got the keycard to the room earlier, but wanted to check out the party before retreating for the night.” He presented a friendly, almost sheepish smile. “Honestly, I’m still a little messed up with the time zone changes. I didn’t think it would affect me this much.”

“That’s not a problem. My assistant and I will escort you up there. There’s a little bit of business I’d like to discuss with you anyway,” Bard replied.

“What about your party?”

“Eh, they’ll entertain themselves! Greg will take care of things while I’m gone. It won’t be but a few minutes.” Bennett glanced at Claire, expression unreadable, and Bard quickly added. “My assistant is completely trustworthy, don’t worry. She knows about our research.”

Bennett nodded, relieved. “Alright, lead the way, Nathaniel.”

Claire was uncertain what to do as Mueller shook hands with Bennett and bid them good night before heading for the bar. Her job was to stick a bug on the European businessman, probably so Wesker and William could track him straight to Aaron Roth. Leaving the party just tossed her whole plan into the garbage. This just got way riskier.

Nothing like winging a mission where my life’s literally at stake. What’s the worst that can happen?

“Great,” Ada whispered in her ear, not helping Claire’s gut feeling. “Wesker’s watching and listening through your piece. He says it’s fine. Just get that bug on Bennett without him knowing.”

Was that supposed to make her feel better that Wesker said it was fine? And how exactly was he able to do that anyway? That just made her earlier conversation with Ada a lot more awkward...

With a slight tick of her jaw, Claire composed herself with a friendly smile and followed the two men out of the restaurant and into the fancy, historical hotel.

They went to the lobby, a grand room with high ceilings, bright lights, and expensive carpet and decor. The elevator ride to the fifth floor seemed extra crowded, even though there were just three of them. Bard and Bennett chatted normally about their lives and careers. Claire didn’t like the frequent glances Bennett gave her. She waited for an opportunity, stayed vigilant with that inkling sprouting in her gut.

It got worse when Ada told her she lost visual on her from their location.

Wesker’s making you do this alone because he wants to see how you do, said a small voice in the back of her head. She didn’t have proof, but she wouldn’t put it past him.

She gave vague answers when Bennett asked her something, either curious and flirting or digging and deceiving. She wasn’t exactly sure.

Bennett scanned his card and held the door open to the big, two-bedroom suite. Bard strolled right on in but Claire hesitated, not wanting to put her back to these men. When she did, she felt his eyes all over her, and when he closed the door, he purposely brushed her to get by.

They stepped into the spacious living room first, accented with a bar and impressive kitchen. There was a home theater set up in the den, opposite a wall of glass that displayed downtown Raccoon City. Dark buildings silhouetted within soft glows of lights of all colors. Speckles of white rained down softly outside.

“You meant it when you said this suite had a view,” Bennett stated, drawn to the panorama.

Bard gave her a look, dipped his head in the direction of his “guest”, as if urging her to get her business done. Claire glared at him as he turned off to the bar instead.

“Yes, I did! And over here, something just for you, Mr. Bennett. Your favorite wine. All the way from home!”

“I don’t like this. Are you okay? Cough if you are.”

“How thoughtful of you, Dr. Bard. Thank you. You’ve gone out of your way to make me feel at home here.”

Claire didn’t like it either. She looked around, keeping up her appearance as she joined the men at the bar. She didn’t see any danger, but something like it was lurking about. Whatever it was, she was fine for now.

She coughed. “Oh, excuse me.”

Bennett watched her more than Bard, but she still couldn’t read his expression. Bard took the fancy bottle out of the container of ice. “Shall we have a glass while we talk?”

“Yes. I’d like that.”

That clicked an idea in her brain. Claire put a hand on Bard’s arm, mustering up the realest fake friendly smile she could handle, looking between the two men under thick lashes. “How about you gentlemen take a seat, get comfortable? Let me serve you.”

Bennett’s smile held something darker, but it was gone in a flash. Bard looked at her funny, but composed himself and slowly put the wine down on the counter. “Of course, Elza! You’re always the sweetest thing! Come, Stephan, over here.”

“What do you have planned, exactly?” Ada asked. “Ugh, I hate going by sound alone.”

Her cohorts had lied to her, she realized. William promised Wesker wouldn’t let her out of his sight and Ada said she would watch over her. Wesker didn’t say much to her before the party, but disclosed if she did what she was told, she would be fine. She was alone here and certainly felt something other than “fine” was coming her way.

The doctor and his guest went to the lounge chairs nearby, sitting across from each other. It was the perfect way for Claire to bug Bennett without him knowing. She opened the white wine and poured their glasses, giving them time to get settled in their seats and start talking. The more distracted they were, the better. It also gave her a moment to get the tiny tracking device ready.

The younger Redfield served Bennett first. She caressed her fingers up his arm, across his shoulder, stopped at the back of his neck, squeezing his collar gently. Her flirtatious smile was enough to distract him from Bard when she handed him his drink. She didn’t remain long, crossing to Bard and giving him his drink with the same smile, the same caress that made her skin crawl. She left them and returned to the bar, gathering up the wine bottle and ice bucket and placing them on the table in between the two men.

Claire eavesdropped on their conversation, but a lot of it made no sense to her. Big research, Sheena and Rockfort Island, Roth, Ashfords, prototypes, T-series. All similar topics that Wesker and William discussed and were involved with.

“You know, it’s strange how all of our business associates keep coming up dead or missing since we’ve been in town,” Bennett said after a long sip of his wine.

Bard grew quiet, confused, his fingers clenching around his wine glass. “What…do you mean?”

The European man looked at Claire, like he knew all of her secrets, not near as charming now. “You know what happened to them...don’t you, Miss Walker? Or should I call you Miss Redfield?”

Claire stiffened, nails digging into the chair arms. She dared not blink, glaring at him, keeping calm, but reeling underneath on how to react. He knew her name. Her _real _name.

Shit!

“Shit!” Ada echoed in her ear. “Claire, don’t do anything rash. Hang in there.”

It wasn’t as though she had much of a choice. She was on her own. Bard’s alarmed face told her everything. He was just as surprised as her, but would be too much of a coward to help her.

Claire took a deep breath. “I don’t know what happened to them.”

“I think Dr. Lowery would say otherwise.”

“How do you know my real name?”

The European businessman crossed one leg casually, swishing the wine in his glass, sharp eyes on her. “All it took was a little digging. You really shouldn’t use your mother’s maiden name as an alias, darling. Especially one as unique as hers.”

Cold steel bumped the back of her head. A gun.

Wesker had told her the same thing. Warned her.

She was careless to use it after not being prepared at the university. Now she was in real danger. The other wolves that Wesker claimed he was protecting her from had stalked her right into a corner. Then again, maybe he wasn’t expecting _this _pack. Or maybe he had and was ready to give her up as tribute for his own motives…

“Uh, Stephan, what’s going on, is t-this necessary?” Bard asked.

“Quiet, or you’ll have one to your head also.” Bennett motioned for Claire to stand. “My business partner, Aaron, would like to speak to you one-on-one, Miss Redfield. You have the time, right? You can help fill the gaps on what’s been happening to our dealings. We’re getting warm, but it seems as though everyone is too afraid to give us answers. Whoever you’re working for, we’ll cut you a nice deal if you expose them.”

Claire kept his gaze, defiant, silent. She had no choice but to comply. She had no weapons on her, no way to hide one in this dress. She slowly moved her hands down to her sides, preparing to push herself up, and felt it. The cold, metal coil of a corkscrew. She forgot she had brought it with her while serving the drinks.

Snatching it up between her fingers, she stood. The man who had the gun to her head pulled her out away from the chair. Bennett rose from his seat, finishing his drink and setting the empty glass down.

Bard shot up as well, looking between Claire and his guest, panicking. “Wh-What are you doing?”

There were two other men in suits now. They must’ve been hiding in the suite this whole time. Although they didn’t have weapons drawn, they were probably packing like the one behind her.

“Nathaniel, lying to me that she is your assistant? After what happened to Simon, I’m shocked. Someone’s got you cowering and afraid, just like Greg. Just like our friend the Police Chief.”

“I-It’s n-not what you think.”

Bennett nodded to the other men. They grabbed Bard by the arms, containing him. The European man pulled a gun equipped with a silencer from his suit jacket.

The doctor fought his captors. “Wait! No!”

Claire stabbed the man behind her in the groin with the corkscrew. He cried out as she spun, disarming him and shoving him away where he tumbled to the floor. She grabbed the bottle of wine and threw it at Bennett’s head just as he switched his gun on her. The bottle shattered on his face.

She didn’t get far with running. Not in that dress, not in those heels, before she was snatched by his men. A bash above her temple instantly made the world spin. Still, she fought, as weak as she suddenly felt.

Bennett was soaked, his face earning a few gashes from broken glass, blood mixing with golden-colored wine. He cursed, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. He grabbed her neck, squeezing hard.

“You little bitch! You’re lucky Aaron wants to speak with you, or you’d be dead!”

That’s when his arm snapped. Like a twig. He screamed. Claire, her vision still hazy from the blow to her head, realized he was attacked. His men were attacked; she was let go. A few blinks and she saw Wesker using some sort of martial arts to swiftly dispose of them. Not Bennett though. He raced away to his escape while holding his limp arm that flopped uselessly as he ran.

The STARS Captain had killed the other three. In seconds. With his hands. He paused, looking to the door where Bennett had fled, as if deciding whether to pursue him. He was over it in seconds though, grabbing her and pulling her to him. Not as rough as she had expected, but gentle wasn’t really in his nature.

“Hold still,” he commanded. She felt his hand on her head. He must’ve been examining the clout she had received. “Are you alright?”

There was some blood on his hand when he withdrew it, and she felt it trickling in her hair. It must’ve been just a small cut, otherwise it would’ve been all over her face by now.

“Yeah,” she said. And she was. It had only made her light-headed for a minute or so.

The nearby chair squeaked as it scooted on the carpet, and a muffled curse came from the other side. Wesker finally looked away from her, jaw clenching. He marched over to the furniture and kicked it. The chair crashed and skidded several feet away. Wesker seized Bard by the collar and picked him up, slamming him into the nearby bar counter. The sound his body made hitting the granite countertop made her flinch, and Bard’s yelp confirmed it.

“Wesker, wait, please! I d-didn’t know! I didn’t! I swear! He was gonna kill me too!”

“He was,” Claire confirmed. 

She had no idea why she defended the asshole, especially when he didn’t offer her any help before. But she could tell he was telling the truth. Wesker paused, but didn’t look at her, probably contemplating what to do with the doctor as he shuddered in his hands.

“Consider your...contract extended indefinitely,” Wesker growled, and shoved him over the other side of the bar. He put a couple fingers up to his ear, the same hidden piece she had. “Ada, William, we’re finished here. Ada, track Bennett. William, tell Irons he has a mess to clean up with Bard and Mueller.”

Bard got to his feet, shaken, his surprised eyes finding hers. The younger Redfield glared at him, a silent message he understood. She had spared him a cruel fate from the Devil. But she wouldn’t do it again.

She returned her gaze to the three bodies around her feet. The one she stabbed with the corkscrew had a snapped neck. The other two looked as though they had suddenly dropped dead, nothing to attribute to the hands of the STARS Captain. But she had seen it with her own eyes. And although it shouldn’t have, it lit a fierce fire in her lower belly, spreading when his arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her towards the door.

The flames were fanned when he whispered in her ear, his hand squeezing her hip. “You did exceptionally well, dear heart. You make me proud.”

When Ada told her Wesker would want to take her home after seeing her in her dress, she had denied wanting him to, denied she wanted to go home with him willingly. But after what she saw, how he held her close to him like she was his, and his alone, how his breath upon her ear titillated her, made her receptive to him only, she could no longer deny it.

Claire wouldn’t be able to stand the drive there. She wanted him. Wanted him to take her. She was a liar; it wasn’t just a one-time fling or a mistake. It was going to happen again. And she wanted it to, and would do nothing to stop it.

[tfhub]

Promise

I can't believe how beautiful my life is now. During highschool i was your everyday thug below average grades, bully, drugs addict, etc.

My life took a turn when she came to me, she was like an Angel, a Nobel women it was love at first sight. Her Love changed me for better. Soon after highschool we got married.

It's been 3 years since then and I have a decent job now, not to mention she is pregnant and I feel like the happiest man on earth.

On the day of delivery,

Near the operation theatre doctor seems to be ina hurry

" Doctor!! Is everything alright and going smoothly. "

" About that..., there seems to be complications and we are sorry to inform that we can only save one of them you must choose between your wife and child.. "

I was shocked but without thinking much "The wife... Please! Doctor save my wife!"

Moments later a loud noise followed

"NOOOOO....!! THE CHILD NOT ME THE CHILDREN!!"

It was my wife , and her words like end of the world. Tears broke from my eyes. Soon after the doctor said iam blessed with Triplets 1 Daughter and 2 Son's.

"And my wife.."

" She is still awake and want to meet you"

In operation theatre,

"Dear did I do well 3 children hahaha..."

With tears in my eyes I began to sob "Yes honey..... you did well...... very well.. .. "

"Dear.... take good care.... Ok..and promise me.. you will stay with them..."

After she finished, she left me, with a Nobel like peaceful smile on her.

Now, it's been 10 years since she died and I unable to fulfill my promise to her died last year. Now just as ghost I try to fulfill my promise to her.

Shana ( daughter ), Shun ( elder brother ) and Shaun ( younger brother ) they all live separated now because they were adopted by different families. Initially they don't want to leave eachother but,

Shana was very identical to her mother thus, was chosen to be adopted my a big family so Shun and Shaun did not put much resistance to let her go for bright future.

Soon after Shun and Shaun too were separated.

Shaun was very confident and was comfortable around stranger so I don't need to worry about him much.

But,

Shun was a nice kid infact he was way to nice to live in this world. He even helps his bully and saves him from punishment after getting bullied.

Years passed my nothing much happened They all are in college now. Shun no longer gets bullied apparently because he was the luckiest when it comes to good genes not to mention he is smart and innocent as hell. Look at him drinking coffee with his friends.

But good things don't last forever. The college scum Danny have bad interest towards Shun. He always look at him with this uneasy look. But sometimes Danny remindes me of my past self imean he is not like me but gives similar badboy Vibe not to mention he is from a very rich and powerful family so he act all high and mighty. He doesn't even care about college rules and smoke whenever he gets a chance.

Just after finishing gymnastics class in locker room,

It seemed fishy when the coach asked only Shun to stay after class with him but little did I know Danny bribed coach for this. Shun returned to the locker room it seemed deserted but when Shun was in middle of changing I heard a shout,

" Ah....!!! "

I never look when my children are changing or taking private time but I had to this time.

It was Danny , he hit Shun with a metal bat. I can't believe my eyes, was he trying to murder my son I started praying to God to save my son's life but, Danny had different intentions.

He tied Shun to a bench took off his remaining clothes and started doing some nasty stuff to him. I can't believe this if happening, Danny seems to be only preparing and waiting for him to regain consciousness.

I know what I have to do now, I have lived as a ghost for 10 years now in this time I have met other ghosts and they taught me about my current position. Unlike them I am not bound to this realm with desire but promise instead therefore i can't possess but have greater influence. I flew to Sam, Shun's roommate he is short and fat but he is a true friend of Shun. I can't use my powers unless we share same goal.

The night passed away and Sam way now worrying about Shun. He was half naked but I don't have time to worry about such things. I was a bit worried since it was my first time but continued by overlaped my presence with him and formed a symbiotic relation.

"It will be painful but endure it" I sad to him

Sam seemed flustered but moments later Sam's body now engulfed in burning pain as his body fat melted and rock hard muscles started appearing with his hight now rapidly increasing. Sam in agony rushed out of the bathroom in confusion and pain,

"Wha..t. is happening...to....me!!?"

He noted the change in his voice and was shocked to the bones.

"I know it was painful but it was necessary your old body was not adequate to save Shun"

In shock Sam turned to the mirror.

"I know you are surprised and confused but save it for later and move we must help Shun quick!"

"Wait what!? My body is moving on its own but I am still in control.. what is happening?"

"Don't worry kid, I will not be here for much longer and currently you are far better than your old self "

"Truly I have never felt this energy before but what do u mean by you will not be here for much? And...."

Interrupting in between "All you need to know is that this is the new you weather you like it or not."

Meanwhile In locker room,

Shun started to wake up" What happened... ahhh..my head wait What!!? why am I tied? what is happening here!? "

In a cocky voice " Good morning, mister Nice guy! You sure sleep like a baby. I kept pumping my self up with vitality booster all night for you."

Shun in confusion "Danny is that you. Why am I naked and whats going on.... Wait!? What are you doing AHH.....ahm......... STOP no please! Ahm...........ah....!!"

Danny while grin on his face "HAHAHAHA... l can't believe you all I did was suck you dick and God! Where were you hideing a huge 10 inch monster like this. I never thought DEFILING a pure sprit like you can be so... much fun!"

After some time Sam arrived in the locker room and in desperation looked for Shun but the search didn't end pleasant with eyes wide open he saw Shun covered in cum and Danny thrusting his dick inside.

Danny in pleasured voice "hm....I don't know who you are, anyway Look Shun we have got some company maybe they want in on the fun hahaha..... You are so popular are you not by little pure Shun... correction by Monster Dick Bitch!"

Both Sam and I looked at Shun his eyes no longer had the light to live on, we were furious and wanted to distroy Danny so bad we rushed " YOU BASTARD!!! " and punche him with all our might. A bright flash occurred .....

Moments later,

I realised I have been separated from Sam. And Sam was carrying Shun and was preparing to leave it seemed like he doesn't remember me at all. I looked around for that bastard and saw him on the floor in most miserable position But, something doesn't fell right.

After a few months,

Looking back now I totally messed up, that day the bright flash was because reality changed a lot. Let's say Sam have no recollection of his past self or me and was a total dude from beginning. Danny is trash with no talent or smarts and to top it all off now belong to a poor family with no background. But, Shun got a total upgrade, he still have his past characteristics and trait with new found confidence. Also, he was adopted to a strong and rich family in this new reality. Only down side is he is no longer our inocent Shun but who cares he is still cute.

[notadonutshop]

So Doctor Who’s Back!

I know that no one follows me to read the stuff I post, mainly because it’s never really interesting, and I post at like... midnight and shit, BUT I just watched the Series 13 premier of Doctor Who and I have things i wanna say but can’t say to my partner because I want her to watch it first so here we go! 

Also this is all 100% my opinion.

Spoilers galore if you click Read More!

First off, while it was not perfect, I enjoyed it A LOT! Like, way more than I expected to. By the end of series 12 I was incredibly bored and ambivalent and that really bummed me out, but after this episode??? My mind was racing and I wanted to know more and I am genuinely intrigued. 

Two of the biggest things that got me excited were my reactions to the Doctor and Yaz and their relationship. I FINALLY feel like Yaz is a character! She has agency and she’s talking back to the Doctor and there’s a conflict between them! Yaz is frustrated because she cares but the Doctor won’t let her in! And I finally get the angle they’re playing with 13!!! She’s more cut off and secretive than any of the other Doctors in New Who! I love that!! The way she avoids everything and keeps everything to herself because she thinks she can take care of it but it just leads to shit going even worse!!!!!! In one episode I felt like Yaz and 13 had more character than they did for most of series 11 and 12. 

One of the things I disliked about this episode was it felt really messy, BUT, I also feel like I can’t exactly judge it as just a standard series opener, because this isn’t a common series, this is essentially a 6-part movie so this was Act One and basically just a giant Inciting Incident. So yeah, for a normal episode it’s pretty messy, and even for a part one it could be tightened up a bit BUT I wasn’t bored! I was intrigued and questioning things and wondering what was going on and fascinated and I want answers!!!! I CARE!!!!!!

The creepy crystal face dude is really fun, and here’s where i have to eat my words about the Series 12 reveal. I personally didn’t care about the Doctor being “the source of regeneration”, what got to me was I couldn’t figure out why I needed to care. Why should I care that you added a weird bit of backstory to a character? How does that effect the present? But I was focused on the wrong part! I should’ve been focused on the Division and the shit they made the Doctor do and then wiped their mind! Oh what a fool I am. 

And then there’s the Flux. I am genuinely curious what the Flux is. I am kinda hoping/theorizing that the Flux is this naturally occurring thing that just occurred way too early (maybe because of the Doctor??) and because 13 is so impulsive and quick draw and do first, think later, she’s actually going to make it worse? We’ll see. 

The stuff going on with the TARDIS is probably my favorite thing though???? The doors going in weird spots (god that was so fun) and the leaking and the malfunctions, it all has got me so curious because the TARDIS has NEVER been that wonky and I wanna know why!! Then again, I don’t blame the TARDIS for breaking down when the Doctor is LITERALLY BUSTING OPEN THE CONSOLE WITH A FUCKING MALLET! I’m not even talking about shooting vortex energy into the Flux, I’m talking about before! 

I’ll say this, Dan is pretty “fine” to me. Obviously it’s part one so there’s time for him to grow, but so far he’s a pretty average dude who seems very nice. I will say though, the stuff with the Dog People is a neat concept and a fun little twist of, “I’m not the bad guy! I’m trying to help and you’ve been wasting time!” and the fact that the Doctor was coming after Dog Man for stuff about the Division (while Yaz knows NONE OF THIS) is very good. 

And it’s crazy how all the cut aways - The Sontarans, Vinder, Claire - all felt so wonky and messy, but I will say, that end bit where it showed all of them and their moments of a kind of “Here we go!” bit actually worked for me. I was really swept up by it and my brain really was going “WHAT IS GONNA HAPPEN????” So kudos to that!

All in all, I really liked it. I had more nitpicks like using the sonic too much, the fact that it really didn’t need to be set at Halloween or called “The Halloween Apocalypse”, and that whole beginning escape felt very fan film, but also it kinda set the chaotic energy that 13 and Yaz really give off? Honestly this episode really made me wish (even more) that this series was just Yaz and 13, but I’m sure Dan will grow on me, and so far it seems like Yaz will be an interesting character to use as a “I’ve been here a bit, lemme tell you what’s what” kind of character. 

I really hope that this is a sign of what’s to come and that Chibnall has finally found how to make Doctor Who work for him and that this will be a banger of a series. 

[221castiel]

“Castiel,”

“I would begin by saying I love you, but that wouldn’t be enough. I love you you can say to anything, or anyone, what I feel for you is so much more. What I feel for you is every happy moment, every single sunset, and cloud watch. What I feel for you is the good moments, but not just the ones like Christmas, the small things, the grass against our feet, the smell of fresh rain, the colour of your eyes. Everything you’ve helped me through, and taught me. I love you is not enough, but for now it will have to do.”

“Castiel Novak, would you give me the honor, for more moments, more memories, and the time to find the proper wording, by marrying me?”

Dean opened the small velvet box raising it as he did so. He kept it raised for another second before closing the box, letting his arms fall back to his side, “what did you think? Would you have said yes?” Dean asked the man behind the counter who looked back with what Dean could only describe as utter exhaustion. “Maybe I should try again with the silver one, you know with the huge fucking diamond.”

“No!” The man quickly cried. “I think the one you have is perfect, and even after hearing it three times I think your speech is also perfect. Now shall I ring you up?”

Dean nodded. He reopened the small box, starting at the ring inside. It was gorgeous, the band a shiny silver, with a black strip across the middle, and in the center a dark blue gem. Matching the velvet it sat on. He knew it was the one, but even still he had the smallest feeling of uncertainty. Maybe it was too simple. Maybe Cas would prefer a diamond, or at least a bigger gem.

“Do you think it’s expensive enough?” Dean asked looking back to the jewler.

“You are aware it’s five thousand dollars?”

“Yah, but my boyfriend comes from a rich family, maybe I should go for a seven thousand one? I heard that's the average price for New York.”

The man raised an eyebrow, as he looked Dean up and down, Dean’s own gaze dropping down his body, to the old t-shirt and faded jeans he wore. “I don’t know your boyfriend, but I have reasons to believe price isn’t his biggest concern,” he paused, finally stopping his judging look and giving Dean a forced smile. “And that you should be putting your money in other aspects of your life.”

Dean only gave a nod in understanding, instead looking back to the ring, the smallest smile on his lips. The gem was the same shade as Castiel’s eyes, the black almost the same shade as his hair, it was so perfect the ring could’ve been made for him.

Dean looked back to the seller, the smile not dropping from his face, “I think I wanna try the first one again.”

~~~

Slowly Dean crouched to one knee, raising the opened box. The cold night wind blew, and for a second all he could think about was how he wished he hadn’t left his jacket in the car, his fingers already numb.

“Angel.”

“From the day I met you, you were different. You were kind and patient, and you loved everything so much. And you had me amazed. I couldn't understand how you could do it, find the good in everyone and everything, you made games out of traffic jams, and brought homeless people for lunch, even when I told you not to. But you never cared what others thought, or said, and you loved with every inch of your being. I never thought I could have that, but when I’m with you, I do. I love you with everything I have, and everything I am.”

“Castiel Novak, would you please make me the happiest man on earth, and marry me?”

“Of course!” Charlie cried, throwing herself into Dean’s arms, the moment he had stood, it didn’t stop the nerves. Her cheery smile, the adorance she had for the date Dean planned, despite it all his heart still hammered. He was going to mess up, when he had to do it for real, he knew it. “Dean, that was beautiful. I’m so happy for you two!”

“He hasn’t said yes yet.”

“Which he will. If you ask,” Charlie replied. She stepped away looking up with an obviously disapproving look, though with her red hair messy, strands falling in her face, it wasn’t nearly as intimidating. “You are going to ask him soon? Right?”

Dean took a hesitant breath. , he knew Charlie was right, it had been over a month since he had bought the ring, but the timing never seemed right. Something always went wrong whether it was the weather or or car problems, things just couldn’t be perfect. “I’ve tried to, I just- I just want everything to be perfect, you know? What if he doesn’t even say yes?”

“Dean.” He nodded his gaze never leaving Charlies, though every inch of him screamed to run. “he’s going to say yes. I have no doubt in my mind, just ask him tomorrow you’re going to drive yourself crazy waiting.”

“Fine. Tomorrow.”

~~~

“Dean, this is weird.”

“Just shut up.”

Slowly Dean crouched to his knee, raising the box, and opening it. “Castiel-” Dean began though as he looked up to Sam, he could only sigh, letting his arms fall back to his side. “You’re right this is weird.”

Instead of standing Dean sat, his gaze staying locked on the ring, the blue gem seeming to mock him. Even as Sam sat next to him, Dean continued to stare, studying each inch of the ring, every single detail, no matter how small. Did he even choose the right ring, how was he even supposed to propose if he didn’t.

“How many times have you practised?” Sam asked

Dean shrugged, he slowly looked up from the ring and to the park that spread out in front of them, it was quite, something unusual for New York. It would've been the perfect night to ask Castiel, if only he wasn’t such a coward. “To another person? Cause I can’t even count all the showers.”

“I really don’t want to know what you do in the shower.”

The smallest smile tugged at Dean’s lips. “Want to hear what me and Cas do in the shower?”

“Dude!” Sam cried. “I don’t want hear about your sex life!”

“I was going to say talk about our favourite dog breeds, but if your head’s that far in the gutter.”

“I hate you.”

A small laugh parted his lips as Dean looked to his brother, who sat to his left. “Did you like the date?” He asked, getting a nod. “Did you think it was enough? Or should we do something else as well? Go to the movies? Maybe a ball? Are those still things?”

“Dean it’s Cas.”

“Really? I had no Idea!” Dean cried sarcastically, which caused Sam to roll his eyes.

“Even I know he would prefer something small.”

Dean sighed, he dragged his hands down his face. His brother was right, no matter how much Dean wished he wasn’t. “I know, I'm just.” Dean let out a shaken breath, “what if i'm not enough? His family already hates me, I'm broke, on the verge of being homeless every second week.”

“what if he realizes he can do better?”

There was a moment of silence as Sam didn't speak, his eyes only wondering across Dean. This was the first time those words had left Dean’s mouth, the thought that had been spinning though his head since him and Cas had been dating. He wasn’t good enough, it will only take a matter of time before Cas realizes it.

Dean wasn’t good enough, and it terrified him.

“You’ve slept with his sister.”

“Thank you,” Dean cried, not caring to hide the anger that was so clear in his voice. “Thank you so fuckin’ much doctor Phil.”

“Let me finish,” Sam snapped back, for once Dean listening, holding back his sarcastic comments.

“You’ve slept with his sister, you’ve gone through debt, and therapists, and you’ve pushed him away, and torn yourself apart.” Was this supposed to be a pep talk, Dean wasn’t sure. It definitely didn’t feel like it. “Dean, he’s seen you at rock bottom, and he’s still with you, because he loves you and nothing is going to change that, He’s going to love how ever you propose, not because of how big the proposal is, or how pricey the ring is, but because it’s from you. Could you get that through your thick skull”

Dean looked back to the ring. He could see it on the other’s finger perfectly, it would look beautiful against his tanned skin. “I'm going to ask him this weekend.”

~~~

“AND THEN, THERE WAS A FUCKING RING IN HIS CHAMPAGNE!” Dean screamed, “WHAT SON OF A BITCH PROPOSES IN CHAMPAGNE?”

“It ended up being for the table next to you. Then because you’re an idiot you told Cas that you think marriage is stupid, usless, and gouverment propaganda-” Sam paused, “I don’t think you know what propaganda means.”

Dean glanced at his brother then back to the road, “I’ve told you this already?”

“At least twenty three times, and it’s only been a week.” Sam replied, “when was the last time you’ve seen him?”

“Well it’s been a week since the ring incident, so a week.”

A sigh came from his right, though this time Dean didn’t turn his head, instead continuing to watch the road. He could drive the route in his sleep, though Dean preferred the familiar scenery over his brother’s disapproving looks. Sam had insisted he needed a book from Castiel’s apartment, and that Dean had to drive him, which was absolute bullshit.

Sam knew where Cas lived

He had his own car.

Dean guessed Sam was just done watching him mope around.

The rest of the drive was done in silence, until they pulled up to Castiel's apartment building, a tall expensive one at least triple the size of Dean’s own, when Sam pulled out his phone. “Shit,” he cried, sliding unlock, “I missed a call from work could you grab the book for me?”

“Fine,” Dean mumbled.

He pushed open the drivers door, making sure to give Sam one last glare before he got out. “Fuckin’ idiot.” Dean continued to complain as he walked to the building's front door, typing in the code before he pushed open the front door, and stepped into the main entrance.

His annoyance didn’t falter, as he took the elevator up to Cas’s floor, and then made his way down the hallway. He missed the other, but he didn’t want to see Cas. He didn’t want to be reminded of the ring that burned in his pocket, or of his failure to propose. He didn’t want to be reminded of his fears.

Frankly all Dean wanted was to lay in his bed, and listen to sad Led Zeppelin songs.

“Who even reads fuckin books,” Dean grumbled, unlocking Cas’s door. As he pushed open the door Dean’s mouth opened to yell a greeting, though as quickly as his mouth opened, it was shut again, his breath hitching in his throat at the scene in front of him.

Roses, candles, Cas. On one knee. A box raised. Ring rested in the centre.

Cas proposing.

Shit.

Dean lips parted only to close seconds later, then open once again, the words never seeming to come. He could only focus on the hammering of his heart, and Cas. Cas proposing.

Cas was proposing.

Cas was proposing to him.

Shit he really needed to say something.

“Well fuck me,” Dean finally whispered, the smallest smile spreading across the others face.

“Hello Dean.”

“Cas-“ he didn’t know what he wanted to say, he wasn’t even sure if it was truly happening as he hesitantly walked towards the other, vision seeming to blur worse with each step. He was going to cry. He didn’t care. “Cas-“

“Dean Winchester,” Castiel began in his usual steady voice. That was all it took before the tears began rolling down Dean’s face, a hand going to his mouth to stop the sobs that he knew would be quick to follow. “There are billions of people in this world, there are endless possibilities, and I understand that you don’t believe in faith, despite that we somehow came together.”

Cas paused for a moment, his blue eyes staring up, wide and hazy. Cas was proposing. Cas was proposing.

Was Dean breathing? He wasn’t sure.

“We were not destined to be together.”

“It was not faith that had brought us together.”

“It was our choice.”

“We chose to be together, through every day, through every fight, through every impossible battle. We choose each other.”

“Dean, would you please do me the honor of choosing me again?”

Dean could only nod frantically as tears fell from his eyes, a choked sob passing his lips. “I-” Dean began using one hand to wipe away the tears as Cas stood, and took his other to slide the ring on. “I love you so fuckin’ much.”

“I love you as well.”

Dean stepped forward pulling his fiance into a tight hug. He rested his chin against Cas’s shoulder as the other wrapped his arms around Dean in a just as tight hug. For a moment he couldn’t speak, a mix of emotion twisting his stomach, his heart hammering frantically in his chest.

Through it all only one thought stayed clear in his mind, Cas proposed to him.

Cas proposed.

“I was going to.” Dean explained as he pulled away, his gaze darting across the other’s features. His blue eyes, his tanned skin, dark hair. God he was stunning. Dean could stare forever. “Propose I mean, but you know things weren’t working, and It just never seemed to be the right time, and-”

“Sam had told me,” Cas said, interrupting Dean’s rambling much to his relief.

Dean didn’t reply, his gaze staying locked on the other. They were so close, they were always so close, though for once Dean finally looked away, and instead down to the ring on his finger. It was a shiny silver one, with a diamond in the centre, adn small ones lining the band. It was gorgeous, Dean couldn’t stop staring, or the smile that spread across his face.

He couldn’t even find it in him to be angry at Sam.

“Yes,” Cas suddenly said, Dean’s gaze darting from the ring and back to the other, a small frown grazing his lips

“What?”

“Yes,” Cas repeated, “My answer to your proposal is yes. I will marry you.”

Dean grinned, his gaze once again locked on the other. “I love you so fuckin’ much.”

[og-danny-dorito]

Hellboy Headcanons

it's MY blog and I get to choose the hyperfixation (also it’s yearning hours)

S F W :

- big man big man big man big man big man b

- i love big man v much, and let me tell u smthn it's not for no reason

- so, let's just get a few things straight, the dude is canonically 7 feet tall, meaning that he towers over pretty much anyone. on top of that's he's got horns, a tail, a big ass rock hand thing, and on top of it all a fiery temper. at this you may be asking yourself “danny, if the man hasn't like no redeemable qualities why do you like him so much?” unless you're here because you ALSO like him and know he has a lot of them. let me explain

- so let me start off with some simple facts; he LOVES cats. he loves cats so much so that he actually has a fuckton of them, as seen in the first and second movies (not the one directed by david harbor because i'm not even going to look in that general direction)

- in fact, he loves cats so much that he probably wants to go to a cat café. the issue is that his hulking figure would probably scare away any other patrons at the cafés, so sadly he can't go. as an alternative he just has a whole lot of cats. a lot of the time he'll find himself taking pity on the cats on the street and thus leaving out cans of tuna or cat food in places he might frequent

- he also has a pajama set with cats printed on them but NEVER tell him that it's cute or he may not make eye contact with you for a week

- ah, on that subject matter, he actually gets flustered pretty easily. the only issue is that it's not easy to tell when he does, and when he allows himself to feel like that. it's usually when he's sitting in his room and not really thinking about much of anything (aka: relaxed)

- you can tell by how his face somehow turns a slightly darker shade of red, and the frown and gruff grunt he gives as a response imply an almost evasive nature. he doesn't get how you can say something so innocent about him of all people, but regardless it makes him feel a little bit a somethin

- i know he LOOKS like he will crush your skull, but he's a huge softie. yeah, he comes back to the BPRD base looking like he just fought god bare handed and butt ass naked, but that doesn't mean he's a huge meanie. in FACT, if he really does like you that much he's probably going to treat you like the exact opposite of his stereotype

- he tends to be attracted to anyone who can make him laugh, which is pretty easy considering his biggest weakness is puns. yes, you read that correctly, puns

- catch this dude loosing his shit because you walked in to his room, saw his cats piled up on his torso to absorb his body heat, and said “Wow, looks like you've got a MEOWntain on you, Red.” seriously he won't be able to breathe for a good few seconds

- his laugh is pretty hearty and rumbles in his chest like a washing machine on spin cycle, ending with a dry heave. if you've cracked him up that much he will snort. tiny little piggy snort. and then deny it directly afterwards like a big baby

- he himself is a pretty funny dude, the only issue is that he's selectively funny. usually when he's relaxed and just chillin out he finds himself cracking more jokes than he normally would. making someone he likes laugh motivates him to make more jokes, especially if their laughter is contagious. seriously, he's weak against funny laughs he can't MAKE himself NOT laugh if you sound like a dying horse when you laugh

- he's also pretty affected by other people’s moods even though like 90% of the time he feels shitty. if you're in a good mood then he can't help but feel a little bit better. the positiivty is contagious and not even hellboy can resist it

- thus why he can't for the life of him resist any ounce of cuteness or innocence or impenetrable positivity. like, he just can't help but feel the immediate need to protect

- yeah he likes goth chicks (have you SEEN liz) but have you ever walked around with a literal ray of sunshine glued to your hip? cause big man can't handle the amount of joy it brings him to have someone so happy all the time next to him. it just,,, makes him weak

- that and he's a huge dummy for anyone who's smaller than average but also tends to be fiery and hotheaded like him

- like he doesn't even have a “type” appearance wise but catch him falling head over heels for a positive, firey, and outright goofy person to match his dry and dull attitude towards most things

- he tries to act like he's above it, but the man likes cute stuff. even when he gets caught red-handed petting a litter of kittens he'll just be like “what? never seen a demon before?” and continue with his activities

- if you do end up being his s/o you may very well be the person who has to take care of his wounds because he barely trusts anyone in the med bay to take care of him without trying to experiment or take weird samples without his knowing. that said, he really hates going to the doctor

- you'd be susprized how uncomfortable it makes him, really. so you're probably the one to actually make sure he doesn't fucking die

- it's rare he'll come from work unscathed. in fact, a good portion of the time there's a new scar to add to the count. when asked he'll play it off with some dry humor, barely addressing the fact that his muscles ache like hell and his joints are killing him. you'll have to pressure him into letting you take care of him, which results in a pout and grumbles of protest as he removes his shirt. if he has any injuries near his thighs he'll probably be really hesitant to let you take care of them until you've been with each other for like a month or so

- that and he lowkey would die of embarrassment if you were trying to tend to his thigh wounds and just saw how HUNG he is but i'm gonna save that content for possible NSFW headcanons in the future

- mans super gentle with his s/o, like SUPER gentle. he doesn't want to hurt them, honestly, and just leaving a small bruise from getting frisky or play fighting makes him feel like a fucking monster. in fact, it makes his self-esteem issues worse. he might not touch you for a while if you happen to get a particularly bad injury, on or off the field (implying that you work at the BPRD- if you don't he still feels like shit)

- which means that he probably would like some validation if he does start to feel like complete shit. his skin is thick from his experience over the years, but shit still happens and it always will. he's reminded every day that he doesn't deserve you just by seeing your visual differences. he knows he's a danger to you and the people around him, and it makes him want to avoid everyone. but some gentle words of affirmation and kisses all over make him feel 10x better. it isn't hard to get him out of a funk if he knows you love him too much to find disgust in him

- he doesn't seem very affectionate, but once he knows it's okay to touch up on his s/o like it's no tomorrow he will most definitely release all his touch-starved cravings and be attatched to you all the fucking time

- he's pretty much always holding your hand (although his hands are pretty big so he might just resort to having your and in his without linking fingers) or got his arm around you or, his favorite, having you sit in his lap. he tends to be pretty up close and personal with you if you're all about it

- the only real problems i can see with this are personal distaste or maybe the fact that he's a walking space heater. seriously, hellboy is quite literally hot as hell regardless of the environment, and turns his heater up crazy high. he thrives best in the heat and remains pretty much unaffected by all temperatures. he hates the cold because it makes the tips of his tail and ears cold, but that's pretty much all it does

- you could be in a freezer and the most discomfort he'll feel is that his ears are like a little 👌🏼 bit cold

- so yes, space heater, and it's great if you live in heat like he does. sleeping with him means you'll never get cold again, and since he takes up a lot of space in his bed it's very likely that you'll be sleeping on top of him or at least somewhat touching him. so win win for him, obviously

- he also likes to crank the heater up because it causes you to shed more clothes, probably leaving you in a tank top and shorts while a sheen of sweat forms on your skin and your hair sticks to your face. and if that ain't hot, he doesn't know what is (pun intended). he'll put it down if you ask him to though, begrudgingly. he just likes seeing you breathless is all- ow, don't punch his arm like that

- god forbid anyone look at you like that though. you're wearing something mildly revealing? hell no. there are some bad people out there with even worse intentions and he is not letting some asshole look at you like you're a piece of meat at a butcher's shop

- so obviously he's a bit jealous. well, he's actually a lot jealous, but he won't admit it. just like he won't admit that he was about to kill the guy that catcalled you while you were walking down the street. or that he glared down at the person chatting casually to you about your dress. or that he- you get the picture. he's very protective of you and wants everyone else to know, although it may be because of an inherent self-doubt that says you might leave him

- maybe one day you'll see that you've been dating a demon all this time and be horrified and scared of him, leaving him in the dust for good. it's probably best for you, he thinks, but you'd never do that...right?

- regardless, he's protective of you and thus gets jealous easily. one way to tell is that he tends to become somehow even more attached to you with the person in question nearby. if it gets bad enough he'll just scoop you up and leave, no questions asked. maybe for the sake of your pride and protecting your embarrassment he'll make up some excuse, but as soon as you can tell that he's following you around like a lost puppy it's clear to see that something is up

- if he's getting particularly annoyed though or just wants to tease you, he'll slide his tail up your leg and watch you squeak and jump until pretending he did nothing wrong. the only real way to one-up this is to pinch the head of his tail softly and watch him tense up and give you a look of betrayal because he's crazy sensitive there and gets super unscrewed if you mess with him like that

- of course, looking at him innocently and letting him go once he finally retaliates is always entertaining enough to do again. it may even become a competition between you two to see who looses it and gives out the quickest (spoiler: you're probably going to loose if your relationship is sexual- dude knows his way around the human body and WILL use it against you)

- but it's kind of cute how much he craves your attention, considering it seems he'll do anything to get you to stay by him most of the time. he hates being apart from you and hates knowing you could get hurt at the same time, so it's very likely that you'll have protection wherever you go (if you're in his line of work though he may consider making you his partner, but when he brings this up to Abe the fish man automatically is baffled that a person could bring this kind of reaction out of his stoic and dry-humored friend)

- now for my FAVORITE part; Miscellaneous Headcanons :

   he finds it hot as fuck when you wield weapons of any kind. like yeah you might be his soft precious angel and no one is allowed to touch you but him, but seeing you with a weapon of any sort makes him think about things he's guilty to even know to have though

  oh i forgot to add that he's probably pansexual but is more attracted to feminine body types. doesn't mean he won't fuck someone with a dick, but it does mean that he's a big dom and he likes tiny feminine figures so he's more well-rounded and comfortable with women

   calls you pet names all the time, including Doll, Kitten, Darlin, Sweet-cheeks, and maybe a shorter version of your name or a play at one of your defining traits (for instance, if your hair is red he might call you Little Red as a joke cause he's Big Red ahaha size joke funnyyyy). calling him a nickname in turn that isn't one of the usual like Sweetheart or Honey Bunches gets him blushing like he's got a fever. don't mention that to him though, or he'll get even more flustered (or do, your choice)

   tends to be super flirty with you for shits and giggles, but gets a little riled up if you hit him with an equally witty and flirtatious remark. a little bite never hurt anyone, and he enjoys it more than most

   he really likes spicy stuff, and is currently the champion of "The BPRD Fire-Eating Contest" which didn't involve actual fire from hell (opposed to popular belief) but rather various spicy foods from all over the place and even some from different realms. he won when he ate a concoction Abe made that involved multiple peppers that probably would kill a normal human if eaten all at once but just made Hellboy tear up a little bit and have a runny nose. anything else doesn't affect him at all, and thus why he puts insane amounts of hot sauce in food just to get a tiny sting from it

   his love language is physical contact

- and that's all! hellboy is an affectionate dude with a slew of insecurities. under those scars and rough exterior he can't help but feel his whole day brightened when he sees his s/o and/or best bud, regardless of his mood that day. as a goofball at heart and dad of a thousand cats, the guy is really just misunderstood. take a few minutes out of your day to get to know him over a beer or two and maybe you'll even get a new friend till the end of the line. once he likes you though, there's no way you're getting rid of this big teddy bear

[whumpupthejam]

He’s Out There

//tw: kidnapping, home invasion, stalking

Marcus’s hands are still shaking. They need to stop shaking. He can’t get the key to fit into the lock of his apartment door. Damn it, that’s the wrong key. What’s wrong with him? The jingling of metal is too loud in the otherwise silent night as he attempts to find the right one.

Not being able to stop himself as his panic rises, he looks back at the parking lot, eyes scanning the rows of vehicles belonging to his neighbors. Every shadow seems to deepen and darken as his eyes dart back and forth. They catch movement and his breath hitches, but it’s only Mrs. Allret walking her chihuahua, Diane. Nothing strange. Nothing unexpected for a Thursday night. But he can feel the eyes on him, same as he had in the grocery store. His flesh hasn’t stopped crawling since he first noticed the man staring at him from the end of the bread aisle. Everywhere he went in the store, the man’s dark eyes had followed. Is it stupid to think that the man might’ve followed him home? Somehow, Marcus is certain that he did—that he’s still watching him right now from some shadowed place that he can’t see.

“Fuck, fuck!” Marcus growls when he drops his keys. He hasn’t been standing in front of his door for more than twenty seconds, but it feels like twenty minutes, grocery bags weighing heavily on his wrists. Crouching as best he can, he grabs the keys and finally unlocks the door, still in that position. He half-crawls through the door, kicking it shut behind him. The groceries remain on the floor as he spins around to re-lock the door as quickly as possible.

He stays there for a moment, kneeling just inside, panting. As he slaps himself lightly on the cheek to pull himself out of it, he chuckles. This whole reaction was enormously stupid. Sure, that guy at the store was a freaking creep, but why would he follow Marcus home? And anyway, even if he did, it would be pointless. Marcus has nothing worth stealing. His apartment is modest at best, and he doesn’t even have enough furniture to fill it—he doesn’t even have a couch! He’s a college dropout. He eats 99¢ noodles for almost every meal. The only reason he was able to go on a more substantial shopping trip tonight was that his cousin finally paid him for when he dog-sat for her three weeks ago.

No, the only thing worth stealing might be his TV, or his laptop. His TV, the man can have if he wants it. It’s old and the audio stopped working last week. The laptop isn’t in too bad of shape, but it’s hardly something that Marcus thinks would make him the target of theft. There are plenty of other people in his complex with much more to offer than he does.

And if the man doesn’t want to steal from him, then he hardly knows what other reason he would have to follow him home. He doesn’t have any enemies. He doesn’t think he owes anyone any money other than Caleb, and his best friend is hardly going to put out a hit on him for thirty bucks.

It’s completely stupid to be so scared of some guy who was probably just acting weird ‘cause he was high or something. He didn’t follow Marcus home. He would’ve had no reason to. Even so, as Marcus stands up and grabs the dropped bags from the floor, the prickly feeling in his stomach doesn’t go away.

He turns on some music as he puts away his food, and sings along, hoping it will put him at ease. It does. He almost forgets about the man from the store until he sees someone cross quickly in front of his living room window. It’s just a flash of movement out of the corner of his eye, but it was unmistakably a person. The blinds are drawn up like they always are. His building backs up to the woods, so there’s no reason anyone should be back there, especially at this time of night. He never feels the need to have the blinds down. Until now, that is.

He takes a shaky breath and turns to finish putting away his groceries. Maybe it was a late-night jogger after all—he doesn’t know that it’s a crazy man. As he puts the last item—a carton of eggs—in the fridge, there is a moment of silence as one song ends and another has not yet begun. Marcus can hear the sound of something moving in the bushes outside the window.

“Fuck,” he says, barely above a whisper.

He quickly shuts off the music and walks tentatively up to the glass. Nothing can be seen in the blackness except for the small bushes beneath the window, and the wall of trees a little ways off in front of him. He can’t get a very good view of the surrounding areas from behind the glass. Briefly, he wonders if he should step out onto the back porch, but quickly decides that that would be the most idiotic thing he could possibly do. Marcus is about to turn back to the kitchen when he notices something that makes his heart stop.

Just to the right of his window, obscured in shadow and almost hidden by the bushes, is the obvious shape of a person crouching down, watching him. He stumbles back as if he’s been shot in the chest, scrambling across the floor to hide behind the kitchen island. The shaking is back, and he can’t catch his breath. His heart is beating painfully against the inside of his chest.

He’s out there.

He doesn’t have to see the person clearly to know it’s him. He just knows.

With fingers that almost appear to be in spasm, he grabs his phone and begins typing out a message to his friend Jake, who happens to live in his building on the second floor.

>are ypy home?

>*you

Usually, Jake is pretty good about responding if he’s available, but two minutes pass and the message is still unread. Marcus presses the ‘call’ icon and puts the phone to his ear. It rings. It keeps ringing.

“Your call has been forwarde—” Marcus doesn’t let the robotic voice finish.

He tries again.

“Your call—”

He lets out a sound that’s somewhere between a whimper and a groan of frustration.

>pls man, tgeres someone outside

>you can call me a pussy I dont care. i’m scared.

>I think he followsd me home

He knows he’s making typos, but his hands are shaking so badly that he can’t do anything about it. Another couple of minutes passes. Marcus can’t bring himself to look around the corner of the island. He just sits with his back pressed against it, staring at his reflection in the oven door. He looks pathetic.

He almost jumps out of his skin when his phone buzzes. It’s Jake.

<Sorry, bud. out with Kass and her friends. pretty wasted. won’t be home tonight.

What? That’s it?

He presses the ‘call’ icon again. It rings.

“Hello?” Jake sounds mildly pissed as he answers. He also, admittedly, does sound wasted. Marcus can hear it in his voice.

“Jake, I’m sorry, but I’m telling you, some guy followed me home from the store, and I think he’s watching me through my window right now.”

“So? Close the window.”

“Jake!”

“Sorry. Sure you’re not seeing things, Marc? Hell, I see things all the time,” Jake slurs, chuckling slightly.

Marcus shakes his head in aggravation. “Dude, stop being an ass, you know I don’t make a big deal about this stuff.” He can’t keep his voice from wobbling. “Please, Jake, help me.”

The line is silent for a minute. “Sorry, Marc. I can tell you’re actually scared, and I’m being a dick. I wish I could help you out right now, but I’m across town and I can’t drive.”

Marcus squeezes his eyes shut. He’s out there right now. He keeps thinking. He’s out there.

“Have you called the police?” Jake asks when Marcus doesn’t respond.

“No.”

“I think you should. Hang up with me and call them right now.” Jake sounds so levelheaded when he says that. Almost like he’s not drunk at all.

“Ok, I will.” Marcus rubs his eyes.

“Call me or text me after you do.”

“I—” Marcus is cut off by a sound from the bedroom. He is frozen as he strains his ears.

It sounds... it sounds like a window sliding open.

Shit, shit, shit, fuck. He opened that window earlier. Did he forget to lock it when he closed it?

Marcus can’t move. He can’t breathe. His eyes are wide, his body trembling.

There are footsteps, causing the hardwood to creak.

He’s inside.

“Marc? Y’ok? Marc?” Jake’s voice on the phone sounds like it’s coming from miles away.

It’s strange, Marcus thinks, to hear someone moving around in the apartment so carefreely, as if they’re supposed to be there. When they’re not.

What should he do? Should he try to sneak away? Should he stand up and confront him—tell him to get the fuck out? Should he just wait to be found? What will happen? What does the man want?

Marcus hears the man enter the living room and he holds his breath. Jake is still trying to talk to him on the phone. He hangs up. There’s silence for a second. The man must just be standing in the middle of the room. Doing what? Looking for him? Listening?

A shiver runs downs Marcus’s already trembling spine and he shifts unintentionally. The wood creaks softly. Apparently that was what the man was waiting for. His footsteps are quick and loud as he crosses the distance to the kitchen island. Marcus doesn’t have time to think before his leg is yanked, his body forcefully dragged out from behind the counter so that he’s on his back staring up at his attacker, who straddles his hips in a flash.

Marcus has always felt too small, too weak. Even when he finally reached a height in high school that was declared by his doctor to be “completely average,” he never felt like his body mass was anywhere near proportional. His recent diet hasn’t helped matters.

This makes it nearly impossible for him to fight back against this man, who seems to be about 250 pounds of pure muscle, and who is painfully crushing his hips under his body. That doesn’t stop him from trying, though. He pushes with all his strength against the man’s arms which are trying to come down to his face. He doesn’t know what the man is trying to do, he just knows that he can’t let him do it. They struggle for a moment before the man gets a good grip on Marcus’s wrists, and holds them out of the way long enough to deliver a shocking blow to Marcus’s face with the back of his hand. The boy’s head snaps to the side with the force of it. It dazes him.

Marcus blinks, groaning softly as a cloth is pressed over his nose and mouth. The last thing he’s aware of is a sweet scent that at once feels both familiar and foreign. It’s something like a mix between chlorine and red wine, he thinks. His eyes grow too heavy, and he falls asleep.

~~~~~

Shit, Marcus thinks as he wakes up, I shouldn’t have drunk so much last night.

His head is killing him, and he can’t even remember the details of the previous evening, so he knows it must have been wild. Jake must’ve convinced him to come out.

Wait.

He did talk to Jake last night, but it was on the phone, wasn’t it? He called him about something.

Marcus rubs his eyes and finally opens them. Then it all hits him. The store. The man. The window. The phone call. The struggle.

Panic sets in as he realizes that he is not in his room. He is not in his bed as he had assumed when he first woke up. As he squints in the dark, he can see that the room he is in is rather small and made up entirely of concrete, with only a single metallic door on the far wall. The “bed” he is on is nothing more than a dirty mattress. His hands are shackled to a chain, which tethers him to the wall and gives him almost no slack to be able to move.

He’s trapped. The man took him. Why? What the fuck is happening?

The door opens suddenly and the shock of the light sends daggers into his eyes. He shields them as best he can in his shoulder.

When he is finally able to squint back at the person who just entered, he realizes that it’s him. The man is tall and buff, and he has his arms crossed over his chest. Marcus can really only see his silhouette, and it bothers him that he can’t see his face. He can’t see those dark eyes, can’t see what they’re intending.

“It’s so nice to see you awake,” The man says. His voice is low, but not quite as low as Marcus had expected. “Does your head hurt?”

After a moment of hesitation, Marcus nods uncertainly. As his eyes adjust to the light, he sees the man smile, nodding his head as well. It disconcerts Marcus and he shifts slightly on the mattress.

“You did very well, much better than I was expecting,” The man says as he walks forward casually. He notices the look of confusion on Marcus’s face and smiles again. “Last night. Yes, you struggled a bit, but I enjoyed that. It was just enough to be exciting. And you calmed right down when I hit you.” The man crouches down in front of Marcus, and reaches out to press on the bruise caused by his hand the night before.

Marcus twists, pulling his face away as much as possible. “You drugged me!” he defends. It made his stomach twist to hear the man say that he “calmed right down,” as if it was a conscious decision.

The man ignores his statement, his dark eyes studying the boy’s face intently. “Did your father used to hit you?” He suddenly asks.

Marcus’s eyebrows furrow. The man just chuckles.

“I think you are going to be one of my most entertaining projects yet,” he muses, standing up.

“Projects?” Marcus is disturbed by the word. The man looks at him for a moment, smiling slightly, but he says nothing. It becomes too much. “What do you want from me? Why did you do this?” Marcus bursts. “Money? I have none. Neither does my family, if that’s what you’re hoping. You saw my apartment, I have nothing. I think you must have the wrong person.” he surprises himself with how much he’s able to get out before he becomes too nervous again.

He is surprised further by the man letting out a hearty laugh. “Yes, I suppose I do have the wrong person, in a way. And yet, in another way, I don’t.” Marcus must look confused again. “Ah, well, I suppose before this really gets started I can give you some answers. It’ll be better, really. This did, in fact, start out being about money. You see, an acquaintance of mine is also an acquaintance of a friend of yours, Jacob Settler. He lives in your building.”

Marcus’s eyes go wide. Jake? What does he have to do with this?

“Your friend Jacob owes my acquaintance quite a bit of money. I’m blurry on the details, but it seems he borrowed money for surgery for his sister, or something of that nature.”

Jake did tell him about having a sister who had been sick, but Marcus thought that was years ago.

“Well, the arrangement was that dear Jacob would pay my acquaintance back with interest. No documents were signed, of course. My acquaintance... well, let’s just say not everything he does is above table. Obviously.” On that word, he grins widely. It makes Marcus uncomfortable again.

“When the time came for Jacob to pay up, he was nowhere to be found. He’d skipped town, and his family had gone as well. Well, as you can imagine, this made my acquaintance very distressed. He had trusted Jacob, he had been nothing but gracious to him, and what did he get in return? He got stabbed in the back. So, he contacted me. You see, I am a man of many hats, but my primary occupation is that for a reasonable fee, I will track down those who have stabbed my clients in the back and... well... stab them back,” he chuckles. “If at all possible, I get the payment my clients are due, and if not, I send a message that will not be easily forgotten.” He pauses, again simply staring at Marcus.

“I don’t understand,” Marcus finally says. “What does this have to do with me?”

The corners of the man’s lips quirk. “Absolutely nothing. I tracked down your friend easily, he is not really very skilled in the art of evasion. I’m surprised my acquaintance couldn’t find him on his own, but that’s neither here nor there. I haven’t followed through with my task quite yet because as I began to observe Jacob, I encountered something unexpected that I wanted to be able to take my time with. You.” A sickening chill settles in Marcus’s stomach as the man speaks. “Something you should know about me is that I tend to focus too much on my work. I told you I have many different hats, and that tends to mean that I am always working on something, pouring my all into it, and absolutely draining myself. I enjoy my work, but it does take a toll. There is one thing that I do that is totally for myself. A sort of hobby. A release, if you will. That is my projects. I don’t recall when I first realized my fascination with pushing creatures to their physical and emotional limits, nor my knack for it. It absolutely thrills me. There is always something new to be learned from each person and creature I study, because each one is so different. You are different, Marcus. You mystify me. On the outside, forgive me, you look very unassuming. Very sweet. You’re weaker than most young men your age, and you know it. Physically, it shouldn’t be too difficult for me to break you. But inside you have this drive—this passion to fight for a better life for yourself, not according to other people’s standards, but your own. It’s why you dropped out of school last year. Not because you were too lazy or too stupid. You were doing very well. It was because you decided that it wasn’t what you wanted. It wasn’t what would make your life the best that you thought it could be.”

Marcus is openly shocked. His eyes are wide, shining with an excess of moisture. His lips are slightly parted. This man is absolutely horrifying. And he knows absolutely everything about Marcus.

“I’ve been observing you for quite some time, Marcus. I’ve seen how you interact with the world around you. You never seem to be truly phased by any stumbling blocks in your path. What you lack in physical strength, you make up for in strength of spirit. Others come to you for support and guidance, and you readily give it, never seeming to waiver.” He crouches down in front of Marcus and reaches out to him again, taking the boy’s face between his hands almost tenderly. This time, Marcus is too shocked to move away. When the man speaks again, it is almost a whisper. “It’s important that you know that there is absolutely nothing that can stop what is about to happen to you. I’m going to see just how long it takes for you to be totally destroyed, to become totally malleable in my hands. And I really think I’m going to enjoy it.”

[marinette-the-clarinet]

Happy Adrinette April!

As I’ve mentioned before, I am participating in @adrinetteapril this year. I will follow each prompt as they are named, but my prompts will fit into a continuous and chronological story. I wanted to depict the full development of these two idiots as their relationship grows stronger with each day! I will also be alternating between the two perspectives, starting with Adrien’s POV then going back and forth. I hope you all enjoy my work and here’s day 1! 

PS: I will also be uploading these to AO3 if you would rather read them on there. I’ll post the link once I get it set up!

Day 1: Pranks

Read on AO3!

  The night after the trip to the wax museum, Adrien swore to himself that he would never try to prank Marinette ever again. That night he stared at his ceiling, replaying the horrified look that showed on his friend’s face after he revealed that he actually wasn’t a wax statue. Not to mention that she seemed sad afterward, even after he apologized. Adrien still wasn’t sure why Marinette was all over him like that, but it didn’t matter. He let her do it, and that was shitty. If Adrien wanted to keep these friends that he held so close to his heart after only having them for a year and a half, he had to be careful. Pulling pranks was not going to get him anywhere in the future.

Or so he thought. 

It was April Fools Day. So far it had been an average school day; no akuma, normal classes, etc. During class, Adrien had left the classroom to go to the bathroom and was expecting to return with everything just as normal, but when he reentered the room everyone was sitting in a completely different seat. 

“Huh?” He couldn’t help but say out loud, projecting clear confusion on his face. He stood still for a bit before Mlle. Bustier spoke up. 

“Adrien, please stop stalling and return to your seat.”

“But…”

Adrien stared at his seat, or what he thought was his seat. Instead of an empty spot that he could take, Kim was sitting there as if it was his own. Adrien then looked around. Rose and Juleka sat where Alya and Marinette usually were, Ivan and Mylène were seated where Juleka and Rose were previously, and so on. The only students who were still in their original seats were Chloé, Sabrina, and Lila, who for some reason looked extremely annoyed. 

“Adrien, are you gonna sit down or what?” Alya asked.

Adrien glanced over at the source of the sound, who sat next to Nino towards the back. But if Alya and Nino were now next to each other, then who was he supposed to…?

Marinette was smiling at him, patting the spot next to her beckoningly. Adrien blinked in confusion, but he decided that accepting this would make things way easier. After sitting down in his newfound seat, Adrien looked back to the front and returned his focus to the lesson. It was easy at first, but then Adrien got back to thinking about how everyone seemed unfazed about the seat changes. Did he miss something? 

Adrien decided to get to the bottom of this. He took out a piece of paper and wrote on it before silently sliding it to Marinette. 

Is anyone going to tell me why everyone changed seats while I was gone?

Adrien watched Marinette as she read his note and wrote a response. 

What do you mean? We’ve been sitting here since the beginning of the school year.

Since the beginning of the school year? Was this some kind of joke?

What are you talking about? Don’t tell me nobody moved while I was in the bathroom…

Nope. Are you feeling alright? I don’t know where you’re getting this idea from.

Adrien gave Marinette a perplexed look. He knew he was right, but then why did everyone seem so sure of their spot? Maybe this was an akuma’s doing? But that wouldn’t make sense then since Chloé, Sabrina and Lila were still in their respective seats. 

Is this a prank?

Adrien thought of that possibility multiple times while this shenanigan was going on. If it was a prank, then it was very well thought out and executed. 

Why are you so insistent that we moved? Maybe you should go to the doctor after class because it seems like you hit your head or something.

After a few more failed attempts to break through Marinette’s stubborn walls, Adrien gave up until class ended. As the bell rang, he walked up to Mlle. Bustier’s desk to talk to her. 

“Please tell me I haven’t been sitting in that seat all year?” he asked, trying to keep his sanity together. 

“Adrien,” Mlle. Bustier replied, “What on Earth are you talking about? You were sitting in that seat moments before you went to the bathroom and then you came back and now you’re claiming that you weren’t?”

“What? No, I was sitting here before I walked out of the classroom. I know it!” Adrien exclaimed, gesturing to his old seat. 

Mlle. Bustier only shook her head before giving him a final response. “That’s enough, Adrien. I know it’s April Fools, but your prank disrupted class today. I’ll give you a warning since I know you’re a good student, but I expect that when you return to class you will find your seat as normal, okay?”

Adrien nodded in agreement to save himself from any sort of punishment before walking out of the classroom. He was dumbfounded. If this wasn’t an akuma or a prank, was he just losing it? 

“Hey dude, you alright?” Nino asked as he appeared in front of Adrien, interrupting his internal monologue. 

“Yeah I’m fine, it’s just…..”

“You couldn’t find your seat?” Alya finished for him as she walked to Nino’s side. 

“Yeah, about that…”

“Marinette already told us. Have you been eating okay? Because the ideas you were throwing at her were all sorts of crazy!”

“Except they’re not. You two never sat together in class besides that one day that Lila returned. We all sat in the front!”

“But Alya and I have been sitting next to each other ever since we started dating,” Nino argued. 

“And we’ve been next to each other ever since,” Marinette followed, showing up next to Alya. 

“No we haven’t!” Adrien exclaimed, his appearance becoming increasingly more distressed as the conversation continued. 

“Boy, I don’t know what you’ve been smoking but I think you need to start quitting sooner rather than later.”

Adrien just blankly stared at his friends. Nino looked concerned, Alya looked confused, and Marinette…..wait, was she laughing? 

“I’m sorry..,” Marinette began as she broke into a fit of giggles, “I can’t hold it in anymore, it’s too funny!” 

“What is?” Adrien asked, although he knew the answer. 

Marinette wiped a tear off of her face before she continued. “It was a prank, Adrien. All of us switched seats while you were gone and then pretended that we had been sitting there all year.”

“So it was a prank!”

“Yes, 100 percent.”

Alya and Nino shared Marinette’s laughter as Adrien pouted a little. “You really had me convinced that I was going insane,” he said. “Whose idea was this anyway?”

“It was all Marinette’s,” Alya said. 

“Really?” Adrien asked incredulously. Marinette nodded in response. “Wow. I have to say, that’s pretty impressive. I can’t even be mad because it was so good, absolute genius!” 

“What can I say,” Marinette said, “I guess I’m just the master of practical jokes.”

The four shared one more laugh before heading off in their separate ways. Adrien waved at Marinette as he got into the backseat of his limo and buckled up. Today sure was crazy, but Adrien knew one thing for sure: He was definitely going to get his revenge. 

[puttingherinhistory]

December 27, 2015 by Suzannah Weiss

I was young when I came to discover masturbation, and I had orgasms long before I knew what they were.

Nothing about it seemed complicated. I just rubbed “down there” for a few minutes, and it happened. But later, magazines, comedy routines, and sitcoms taught me that my body – and vaginas in general – were mysterious and complex, often too complex for those without them to figure out.

Confirming what I’d been taught, orgasms weren’t as simple with partners as they were by myself. This is to be expected to some extent. There’s a learning curve when you’re getting to know someone new. But what confused me was that not everyone seemed eager to learn.

“Sorry,” I (unnecessarily) apologized to a partner for taking what I thought was too long.

“It’s okay. I know it’s harder for girls,” he said – and then stopped.

Compounding the lack of effort I encountered from some (though not all) partners, it became harder for me to orgasm when I started SSRI antidepressants. When I told my doctor, she said, “Oh, that’s hard for a lot of women anyway.”

I knew my body long and well enough to know being a woman wasn’t to blame, but others didn’t share my view that the problem was fixable. I grew hesitant to bring it up with partners out of fear that asking them to perform the supposedly impossible feat of getting a woman off was too demanding.

Orgasm doesn’t have to be the focus of sex, but if a woman wants one, she should have as much of a right to request it as anyone else does.

When people say that women’s bodies are more difficult – and these generalizations typically refer to cis women and are accompanied by rants about how complicated vaginas are – they teach cis women that an orgasm is too tall an order.

Trans women also have a slew of sexual stigmas attached to them, which Kai Cheng Thom describes here, though they’re beyond the scope of this article. In addition, though most research on orgasm inequity has studied cis women, trans and non-binary people with vaginas may relate to the frustrations of being taught their genitals are impossible to decode, too.

The view that cis women are hard to please maintains what sociologists call the orgasm gap, in which men have three orgasms for every one a woman enjoys, and 57% of women orgasm during all or most of their sexual encounters, but 95% say their partners do.

These statistics may appear to confirm the stereotype that women’s bodies are more complicated, but there are other forces at work.

As sociologist Lisa Wade points out, the orgasm gap is conditional. Lesbians report orgasming 74.7% of the time, only 10 percentage points lower than gay men. In addition, women take under four minutes on average to masturbate to orgasm.

If these statistics don’t convince you that there’s more to the orgasm gap than biology, here are twelve cultural factors that contribute to it.

1. People Believe Women Are Less Sexual

Women, the story goes, aren’t that into sex.

They may enjoy it, but they do it partially in exchange for validation, commitment, or financial support, popular wisdom says. As long as a woman is getting one of those things, she doesn’t need much out of the sex itself.

To the contrary, a lot of research and lived experiences indicate that women are as capable of wanting and enjoying sex as men.

Until we acknowledge this, we won’t prioritize making sex as enjoyable as possible for women because we’ll believe sexual pleasure isn’t as important to them.

It may not be because women themselves may buy into myths about their gender, neglecting their desires because they’re not supposed to have them. If they do, they and their partners miss out on balanced sexual interactions, not to mention fun.

2. Pornography Privileges Male Pleasure

Most people who have watched porn videos know they typically culminate with a “money shot” in which the man comes, and then the scene ends. Most woman-focused orgasms depicted in porn are merely incidental events on the path to a man’s pleasure.

Additionally, most mainstream porn scenes feel incomplete without blow jobs, while cunnilingus is less common.

All in all, the message is clear: It’s imperative that a man gets off, and if a woman manages to in the process, props to him, but it’s just an added bonus.

3. The Myth of ‘Blue Balls’ Persists

Blue balls, according to Urban Dictionary, is “the excrutiating [sic] pain a man receives when his balls swell to the size of coconuts because of lack of sex, unfinished bjs, and just not cummin when he knows he should.”

The entitlement reflected in this description is characteristic of most uses of the term “blue balls.” While vasocongestion, the accumulation of blood flow to the genitals, can occasionally cause mild pain in people with any genitals, this is not what men are usually referring to when they complain about blue balls. And whether they’re experiencing this or just sexual frustration, it’s never anyone else’s duty to relieve it.

Even though most women know no medical condition results from an erection that doesn’t lead to an orgasm, many of us feel guilty for not providing one. So, in addition to some men’s lack of effort to pleasure women, the pressure many women feel to pleasure men maintains the orgasm gap.

4. There’s More Information in the Media About Pleasing Cis Men Than Women

As a teenager, my secret guilty pleasure was buying copies of Cosmo from the drugstore and hiding them under my pillow to read at night.

I read all their sex articles just because I found anything sex-related titillating, but along the way, I learned all about different tricks to please men – and cis men, specifically. By the time I encountered a real-life penis, I already knew all the basic tricks in the book, plus some out-there ones my dude friends urged me not to try.

I don’t know what most teenage boys’ secret reading material was, but there aren’t many mainstream men’s magazines as obsessed with pleasing women as women’s are with pleasing men. If anything, I’ve heard it’s common for boys to sneak glimpses of Playboy, which is also geared toward pleasing men.

Maybe this explains why 25% of men and 30% of women can’t locate the clitoris on a diagram.

Amid all the advice we read about different ways to hold and touch a penis, many remain in the dark about vulvas and vaginas.

5. Hookup Culture Privileges Male Pleasure

“I will do everything in my power to, like whoever I’m with, to get [him] off,” one woman said in a study by Elizabeth Armstrong on college hookups. But when it came to their own pleasure, women held different expectations.

“The guy kind of expects to get off, while the girl doesn’t expect anything,” a woman in another study by Lisa Wade said.

Accordingly, one man in Armstrong’s study boasted, “I’m all about making her orgasm,” but when asked to clarify the word “her,” he added, “Girlfriend her. In a hookup her, I don’t give a shit.” Perhaps he sensed that women don’t expect much from their hookups.

Statistics about women’s orgasms reflect these attitudes.

The ratio of men’s and women’s orgasms is 3.1:1 for first-time hookups, but only 1.25:1 for relationships.

For whatever reason, hookup culture appears to have embraced the message espoused by the media that women’s orgasms are optional, while men’s are obligatory.

6. Sex Education Doesn’t Teach Us About Pleasure, Especially Female Pleasure

Like many schools in the US, mine only had a couple of days a year dedicated to sex education in middle and high school. During the initial classes on puberty, the portion about women was on periods and the portion about men was on erections, ejaculation, and wet dreams.

Already, our bodies were associated with making babies, while boys’ were associated with sexual arousal and pleasure.

Later on, we learned how to use a condom – along with how to complete a very normative sequence of events. You put it on, we were told, and then you have intercourse, and then someone ejaculates, and then you pull out and take it off. Men’s orgasms, but not women’s, were built into our safer sex lesson.

Nobody said “then you stop whenever you feel like it” or “your partner may need you to pull out” (because, contrary to what we see in porn, not every woman is multi-orgasmic and many have a refractory period, so we can’t all comfortably keep going until our partner wants to stop).

This is one sneaky way we learn to prioritize men’s pleasure without ever really learning about pleasure at all.

7. Self-Evaluative Thoughts Can Disrupt Women’s Arousal Process

Due to the emphasis on women’s appearances in mainstream porn and throughout the media, women learn to picture themselves during sex.

“How does my stomach look from this angle,” “Does my face look sexy or silly in this expression,” and “Would it be sexier if I made more noise?” are a few thoughts that have distracted me in the bedroom.

And I don’t think I’m alone: 32% of women say that when they don’t orgasm, it’s often because they’re stuck in their heads or focused on their looks.

Orgasm itself can become a source of performance anxiety.

Because the women’s orgasms are dramatized in porn and the media, with exaggerated moans and calculated facial expressions, some women feel so much pressure that fear of not coming keeps them from coming. This pressure can also lead women to fake orgasms instead of sticking it out for a real one.

Once again, women’s magazines don’t help.

Cosmo even provides a guide on “how to look even hotter naked.” Though “even” implies the reader looks hot already, the pre-bedroom workout routine and self-tanner application tips make it clear we don’t look as hot as we could – and even if we do, the focus is still on our partner’s pleasure, not what we see or feel.

Thoughts about partners’ perceptions place women outside their bodies, looking in, rather than inside them, feeling the sensations the sexual activity is causing. It’s hard to have an orgasm when you’re not even thinking sexual thoughts.

8. Sexual Trauma Can Impede Arousal and Orgasm

It’s extremely common for women to experience sexual trauma within their lifetimes. One out of six women has been the victim of attempted or completed rape.

According to sex therapist Vanessa Marin, this trauma can have lasting effects on one’s sex life.

“Sexual assault can rob your enjoyment of sex and can make any type of intimacy feel scary,” she said. “Some survivors experience feelings of disconnect or dissociation when they’re having sex. Others can easily get triggered by being touched in certain places or in specific ways.”

Marin recommends that survivors seek out therapy or a support group so they don’t have to deal with the effects of their pasts alone.

In the short-term, Marin has written that reminding yourself you’re with your partner, not the person who assaulted you, can quell trauma-related sexual problems. “Of course your brain knows that it’s [them], but this exercise can help the more subconscious parts of your psyche start to relax,” she writes.

Other emotions women disproportionately experience around sex, such as guilt and shame, may also lead to anorgasmia.

9. More Women Than Men Are on Antidepressants

SSRI antidepressants, like Prozac and Zoloft, can cause anorgasmia. This side effect isn’t gender-specific, but antidepressants themselves are.

Between 2001 and 2010, 25% of American women (but only 15% of men) had been prescribed medication for mental health conditions.

This may occur because women are more likely to suffer from anxiety and depression, both frequently treated with SSRIs, the medication class most commonly known to cause anorgasmia. There are many theories as to why, but one possible source of this difference is societal misogyny.

As Ally Boghun writes of her anxiety, “A lot of the stressors that impact me the most are actually stressors put upon women by society to look and act in certain ways.” In addition, women are more likely to seek therapy, since toxic standards of masculinity deter men from discussing their emotions.

This is one case where the orgasm gap may be related to biological differences, but the sources of these differences are still societal.

10. Women Are Discouraged from Asking for What They Want

Women are taught to accommodate others’ wishes and put their own on the back burner, to be pleasant and polite and grateful and not ask for more, whether that’s food, payment, or sexual pleasure.

To bring back Armstrong’s research, one woman said she didn’t have the “right” to request an orgasm and “felt kind of guilty almost, like I felt like I was kind of subjecting [guys] to something they didn’t want to do and I felt bad about it.”

I can relate: I’ve said “sorry” many times for requesting or giving myself the stimulation I wanted, for taking what I thought was too much time, and for receiving pleasure without immediately returning it.

The same fear that keeps women from voicing their opinions in work meetings or negotiating salaries also keeps us from speaking up in bed.

But until we can “lean in” without bumping into hostility, women can’t singlehandedly solve this problem in any domain. It’s also up to our partners, coworkers, and others to make it clear they want to hear and accommodate our wishes.

11. The Normative Definition of Sex Isn’t Optimal for Many Women’s Orgasms

When someone says “sex,” most people think of penis-in-vagina intercourse, even though it means many different things to different people.

For example, some couples may see oral sex as sex. Some may also put oral or manual sex on the same level as penetrative sex, but this is still not the norm.

When someone talks about losing their virginity, for instance, we usually assume they’re talking about the first time they had penis-in-vagina intercourse.

This assumption can be problematic for women who get off more easily through other activities.

In one survey, 20% of women said they seldom or never had orgasms during intercourse. Only 25% said they consistently do. In another, 38% said that when they don’t orgasm, a common obstacle is “not enough clitoral stimulation.”

Since penetrative sex often doesn’t directly stimulate the clitoris, this could explain why other types of sex – or clitoral stimulation during intercourse, which women considered the most common way they got off with a partner – may be more optimal.

When we consider the activities that often help women reach orgasm as warmup or extra, we deprioritize women’s pleasure.

12. People Think the Orgasm Gap Is Biological

Orgasm inequity is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

When men believe women’s bodies are an impossible puzzle, they don’t try to solve it. Neither do women who are taught their own pleasure is inaccessible.

That’s why it’s important we acknowledge all the societal factors that contribute to this discrepancy. Genetics can’t be fixed, but a lot of these problems can, which means that closing the orgasm gap is possible.

***

If you’re a woman having trouble orgasming, it’s likely not you. It may not be the result of any carelessness on your partner’s part either. You may just need to talk about it, challenge the myths you’ve learned about sexuality, and, if necessary, seek help for any psychological or medical conditions that could be contributing to the problem.

Or maybe it’s not a problem at all. Maybe orgasming isn’t important to you, and that’s your choice as well. But if it is something you would like, you have the same right to ask for it as your partner. If he expects orgasms from you, he shouldn’t mind you wanting one.

It’s not too much to ask, and your anatomy isn’t too complicated. The only thing that’s complicated is the toxic set of messages we’re taught about sexuality. But that’s not on you or your body.

[devourer--of--books]

Callis was Gavaldon’s first witch gynecologist and here’s why

Okay so, in this post we’ll be discussing topics such as sex, contraception, and some religion in the context of it being used as a mean to control people sexually. 

If you’re younger than 13, honestly, this post isn’t for you. 

If you’re unlucky, like me, and your school didn't give you proper sex ed, I beg you to ask someone about it. Your older sibling, your mom, someone, okay? Ask google. It’s important stuff you need to know.

First of all, for composure’s sake, let’s all pretend I didn’t start thinking of this due to me writing a smut fic. At 4am, on my tablet notes. On my defense, tho, there’s an astonishing lack of E-rated fics on this fandom and someone ought do it, okay? Moving on.

So, where shall we start?

Let’s get context out of the way, welcome to my analyses, the actual headcanons are here, I promise, let me just bore you to death first:

The SGE book series overall is set in fantasy fairytale land (The Endless Woods), with the exception of Gavaldon, aka, the reader village. Due to this, there’s not really a time period liking the SGE world to ours, neither can it be presumed by the world building, as Soman mixes traditional medieval elements  with modern elements, which I know bothers some of you too, it ain’t just me, but nevermind that right now.

The point is, the arguments I’m making on this post are based on aspects mentioned in the books, but I’m also going to draw some information from the real world.

A big chunk of the first two books rely on the world the existence of a patriarchal structure in that world, as do some plot points during the rest of the series, but if I were to dive into that we’d be here all night. Talking about the Endless Woods social structure is very complicated, specially with the ‘no labels in the woods’ stuff combined with the misogyny. It’s messy. 

Thankfully for this post, we’ll only go into Gavaldon, because I feel things there are more… explicit (pun intended).

So here’s what we know of Gavaldon’s social structure pre-book 1:

It’s a decent sized village with no official government. There’s no political figure of power, such as prince or a mayor, as they eventually get in QFG. There also doesn’t seem to be an actual economic class distinction between the people of Gavaldon, other than mentions of beggars (pretty sure it’s just one tho, but I might be wrong). Everyone works and trades amongst themselves, with people having more or less the same things (except for Callis and Agatha, due to them being social outcasts). 

Who has power in Gavaldon?

The Elders Council. They make the laws, they are respected, they have influence, and therefore they have power. These dudes stopped people from selling food to Stefan’s family during book 2, and threatened his new family in front of everybody during book 3. And everyone in Gavaldon loved that man. Why are they powerful tho?

Power is born out of inequality. If you have what we have not, we follow where you lead. Gavaldon has no nobles and no bourgeoisie. Geez, I wonder which powerful class we’re missing.

The clergy.

Personally, I hold no love for the church. I’m an atheist, but, as this post is about SGE and not religion, I’ll try to be as neutral as possible, as the point is not to offend or disrespect anyone. When I mention ‘religion’ or ‘clergy’ from this point on, I’m talking about religion as an Institution. As in the Medieval Catholic Church (which if you don’t agree was at least kind of very evil, I don’t know if I want you reading my posts anyway, so feel free to leave).

Most likely, the members of Elders Council of Galvadon were linked to its Church, whatever religion they may have. I can’t see any reason why they would have so much influence otherwise. Who appoints new men to the positions once one of them dies? I’m gonna guess the remaining members of the Council. 

And no one said anything? For centuries. Okay. Corruption? Never heard of her.

Also, burning unmarried women as a way to solve problems claiming they were witches? Wonder where I’ve seen this before.

The fact they’re men, should get mentioned too, just in case you forgot. I bet there are women just as old and wise, if not wiser than the members of the council. Hm, wow why they’re not part of the council.

This hypothesis ties in with the fact that the education given to the kids is limited to the local school, which, given the lack of government and simplicity of work relations, is probably funded by the clergy. We don’t see any proof of this, but again, if we’re comparing Galvadon to a medieval village, it would make sense.

What is even taught at this school? Math and whatever language they speak there, sure, but like they have little to no history that we know of, geography would be pointless, there are no foreign languages, science who, and with these clowns running the village I’ll bet there is no philosophy or social studies and... Doesn’t matter, let’s not do this right now.

Callis briefly mentioned that all girls in Galvadon must marry before the end of their school education, or they are deemed witches. The Elders Council even chooses the matches, in case those aren’t naturally formed or if they disagree with pre-existing ones. These kids are what,15,16, maybe younger?

(this makes me so mad, you have no idea-)

ANYWAY. They form these child marriages, for... look I’m gonna presume is because of population reposition. They need an average of 2 kids per couple or they’ll have more people dying than people being born. Let’s just presume it’s because of this because if it’s because of some tradition stuff I’ll scream, okay?

Maybe they have a low life expectancy in Gavaldon (which is another evidence for the case that the elders are part of the clergy, they probably don’t work, so they live longer). 

So have them teenage girls poping them babies, I guess.

Also, a miracle they have survived this long, because the genetic pool for Gavaldon must be the worst ever, everyone is related to everyone, ew. At least, in theory, there would be no STIs.

In theory.

Ahem… During the middle ages, all forms of birth control tended to be frowned upon, at least here on the west, including coitus interruptus (aka, pull out method), (tho it depends of who was the pope at the time, some of them were cool with this one if you already had too many kids and was like super poor), because sex was supposed to be about procreating, so a marriage with no kids was ‘pointless’. 

(hear me raging in the background, this context is stressing me out, i just wanna get to the headcanons-)

We can assume this view is probably compatible with the Elders Council mindset, as they are marrying CHILDREN. 

If there were any available contraceptive methods, you can bet they weren’t teaching this stuff at school. They probably have no sex ed, and if they do, it’s going to be just about periods and vague stuff. Gotta love them church schools (I never went to one, officially, but honestly, I live in Brazil, what even is Secular State).

(“Don’t have sex before marriage, you’re gonna get pregnant and die”, - one of the teachers at the Galvadon school at some point, I bet)

Let me also mention that there is an specific Gavaldon law that states that if a girl is pregnant she is going to marry the boy who knocked her up. Which, specially in Vanessa’s case, makes no f-ing sense. Could she prove it was Stefan’s? Did she sent it to a DNA lab? If Stefan was the Elders favorite why would they not take his word?

I digress, let’s say Stefan didn’t deny sleeping with her and only said he was under a spell, which, hm, how dumb do you have to be to do that, it’s lying 101, Stefan c’mon, but okay, you do you.

So they are probably super “moral” in Galvadon. You know, the kind of moral who just swipes stuff under the rug. Like, yeah, Stefan you’re now doomed to marrying Vanessa, but ain’t nobody gonna say a thing if you cheat on her as long as you don’t do it during plain daylight.

(The amount of closeted gays in Gavaldon is probably astronomical, can you imagine?)

And then you have Callis. Whom I think is probably responsible for the introduction of birth control in Gavaldon. We have arrived at the headcanons. Hear me out:

After Stefan saved Callis, she was deemed a witch. She’s a ‘witch’ doctor for the town. Only the most desperate of people seek her out. 

That means she normally wouldn’t get a lot of patients. Like, Idk about you, but Gavaldon doesn’t seem big enough for her to have people looking for her everyday. And she probably had to feed Agatha somehow.

But, while her being a doctor for normal diseases wasn’t really working all that well, everyone knew she had a hand in Vanessa’s miracle child. So ‘infertile’ women and women who had been getting sickly during pregnancies start looking for her, asking for her to help them. 

Callis obviously doesn’t use her magic, but as she can’t say she used magic for Vanessa, she gives them generally good advice about herbs and stuff they can add to their food to make it ‘more likely’, aka stuff that reduces stress, telling them how to eat better, stuff they should avoid, etc. She’s no big expert, but at least in the Endless Woods they had sex ed and she was witch, she just knows stuff.

So she becomes this sort of witch gynecologist for Gavaldon’s desperate women.

It works for a while, but then people eventually share these tips amongst themselves to avoid going to see her. Then, it’s back to slightly starving herself so baby Agatha could eat.

One day, a teenage girl arrives at her doorstep in the middle of the night, trading food for her help. If she could ‘make people more fertile’, she could surely make them miscarriage. Maybe this girl got pregnant by sleeping with someone the elders didn’t aprove for her to marry, maybe it was something else a bit darker, but we won’t talk about how that could be common, given you could literally force someone to marry you if they had your child.

Callis panics, because she wasn't ‘making anyone more fertile’ really, she was making them healthier and therefore more likely to have a healthy kid. If she were to tell her to do the reverse of what she told the others, not only it wouldn’t work, but it would actually harm the girl’s health.

At first she’s like, “I can’t help you…”, but then she hears baby Agatha crying, poor thing, so hungry all the time. So Callis decides, “you know what, might as well”.

There’s probably many potions made with magic one could take to not have a baby in the Woods. Even ones that cause abortions with no side effects or danger to the woman. But there also more natural ways, ones that maybe aren’t 100% effective, but would work, tho it had some side effects.

So Callis, makes her a potion to take. For real life comparisons, let’s say she used Queen Anne’s Lace, which works a bit like Plan B. The girl is thankful, and goes on her way.

Soon enough, everybody knows Callis can do these potions. You have girls sneaking to Graves Hill in the middle of the night to get help in exchange for food and while the elders know something is fishy, they can’t do much anything about it. They ask Callis what is up with that and she’s like ‘nope, just ya know, helping them have babies, plan b who’.

She tries to introduce a variation of the potion, one that acts as birth control, because it would stop people from being irresponsable all the time, but the Plan B one is the one every girl wants, because well, it’s easier. You can be unsafe and then take a potion and it’s fine. Soon, it’s not just girls. There’s full grown women there too, who should really know better.

She is pissed, so she says she won’t make them any more potions unless people stop being so careless.

Someone tries to make a knock-off potion, but it ends tragically, because people don’t really know what Callis puts in it. And well… you know what looks a bit like Queen Anne’s Lace?

F-ing Water Hemlock, that’s what.

After that incident, people listen to Callis when it came to ingesting stuff. And thus, birth control culture is born in Gavaldon. Other people started trying out other things to avoid dealing with Callis, like animal-based condoms, pull-out method and inserting acacia gum into your vagina before you had sex,but she had a good clientele overall.

The Elders? Pissed. But since they couldn’t just prove this was her fault, they just kept on hating on her from a distance.

After Agatha has her first period, Callis sits her down and pretty much gives her the talk. Agatha doesn’t really see a point to it, boys are gross, but she listens nonetheless. 

Callis gives Agatha the best sex ed homeclass ever, you can bet she will teach her correct anatomy, debunk myths the school told her about both periods and her own body and even promised her to teach her how to make the birth control potion once she got older.

Again Agatha doesn’t see a point, but okay.

When Agatha comes home with Tedros, years later tho. Callis is... worried.

She tries to ask Agatha if she’s being safe but her daughter just... stops functioning. Blushing like crazy. 

 (“We just kissed, like, once, mom.”)

That being said… Callis doesn’t live long enough to teach her how to make the potion.

So when Tedros and Agatha’s relationship starts to progress (hm… if you wanna read something about it, maybe wait a couple of days, I might or my might not have a sin fic in the works, it wouldn’t be one of my posts if it had no self-promotion, I’m my own sponsor after all) she’s unsure of who to ask about this.

And it makes her extra sad about her mother’s death, so that’s great.

I honestly don’t know who she would ask. If you have any ideas, please tell me. Because I’m kind of inclined to think that maybe Merlin might have predicted this and handed a recipe to her as a semi-joke, but idk. Maybe Uma?

But yes, Callis was totally Gavaldon’s first witch gynecologist. And after they made Stefan mayor, I want people to remember her for the absolute legend she was, okay?

[alexisthedevilsfox]

Hi guys, this is special moodboard because there’s a story attached to it. It’s @lace-maze​ fault because she mentioned Soulmate AU and I immediately had an idea for a story. 

It’s Schneeplebro (Henrik x Chase) and it’s Soulmate AU where the first thing they say to you is written on your body (in their handwriting). 

@pistachio-lan​ @murder-schmurder​ - Tagging you two because I think you might like it 😉

Also… Thank you, Lace for being my beta reader and helping me with the right words and stuff 💕💕 

Now… without further ado, let’s begin.

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“Well hello there, handsome.”

That was written on Henrik’s forearm in messy handwriting and when he was old enough to understand it, he liked the idea that his soulmate would think he’s handsome. It was something he looked for when he had a bad day or when he freaked out because of exams.

However, as time went by, he realized that finding his soulmate would be almost impossible. A lot of people ended up never finding their soulmate. At best, it took years and years to finally find them. Henrik didn’t have that luxury; with him trying to get his PhD, he was glad to find time to just sleep and eat. The sentence on his hand became what it always was, just a sentence. He knew it was there but he just ignored it and two years later, he met Lydia. They met in the library and found that they had a lot in common, so they decided to go on a date. They both pretended that their soulmate wasn’t waiting somewhere in the world for them, because they had each other, and that was enough. It was enough to get married and have two children and Henrik knew that they were happy.

But then, Lydia found her soulmate.

It was a tennis instructor named Rick, someone so obviously Lydia’s other half. Henrik couldn’t even be angry at her. Not when he could see she was happy, far happier that she had been with him.

Henrik was jealous. The last time he cried was the day their daughter was born, but he couldn’t help crying again now. Lydia tried to comfort him. She put her hand on his shoulder and with a gentle smile told him she believed he would find his soulmate too. It was bittersweet, but he was grateful that at least for a while she was his wife.

Once he calmed down, they decided what to do next. They sat down with James and Freddie and explained what had happened and what’s going to happen now. They already knew about soulmates, because he and Lydia had already talked to them about it, but they still had a lot of questions.

Both of them answered patiently and assured the kids that they still loved them and that none of this was their fault.

Divorce was fast after that and because Henrik himself didn’t need such a large house, he moved away. He found a small apartment that was enough, but of course there was an extra room for his kids. He was able to see them almost every weekend or when he had time off, and for which he was very happy and always pleased with the smile the kids gave him when he showed up.

Unfortunately, three years passed and he was still alone. He had assumed it, but he still hoped that maybe… maybe his soulmate would show up after all

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One day, when Henrik had the kids with him again, he didn’t know what they could do, but his children came up with an idea. From what they were saying, Henrik understood that they were watching a man on YouTube who had a channel named Bro Average and that he was doing a variety of videos, including skateboard tricks. Apparently, there would be a show in their town that day where different people show their tricks and one of them should be the man. If the doctor remembered correctly, they said his name was Chase. They begged him to go and see him. What kind of father would Henrik be if he said no?

So right there Henrik was. He watched a bunch of teenagers and adults trying to break their neck in a cool way and he hated it. Well… it was impressive… that much he could say, but still… he saw the fractures and injuries that could have happened and he didn’t like it. But he also saw James and Freddie’s enthusiastic expressions, so he kept quiet.

Then, as soon as the man with bright green hair showed up on the ramp, his children and other people began to scream. He couldn’t be much younger than Henrik, wearing black jeans and a loose gray shirt. Henrik admitted to himself that the man was really cute, and with that smile and energetic appearance he understood why his children were watching him. He was introduced as Chase Brody and he gave the audience a wave. Then hopped on the skateboard and the show began. He was really good and the audience cheered and screamed his name until something happened. Henrik didn’t see what caused it, he only saw as the man fell down from a really high ramp and bumped his head. Someone screamed in horror and people ran to him.

Henrik knew subconsciously that they had it under control, but the doctor in him did not, so he jumped over the railing with a cry that he’s a doctor and ran to the injured man. Nobody tried to stop him, so he knelt beside the green haired man and examined him thoroughly. There was no blood and the man groaned in pain but opened his bright blue eyes, immediately fixating them on the doctor. For a moment Brody just looked at Henrik with a blank expression but then he smiled.

“Well hello there, handsome.” Said the green-haired man, and Henrik just shook his head. It seemed that Mr. Brody was perfectly fine if he was trying to flirt with him.

“I think you have a slight concussion but thank you” Henrik replied and helped Brody sit up. He wanted to look more closely at his head to make sure everything was all right. But then he realized what Brody had said.

“You just… you said my sentence.” He said in shock, staring into those bright blue eyes.

“And you said mine.” Brody smiled even more than before. “It’s nice to finally meet you, handsome soulmate.” He said.

“I… uh… I should take you to the hospital to… to make sure your head is okay.” The doctor said, his cheeks slightly pink.

“Nah… it’s fine. This isn’t my first rodeo. How about some tea instead? Or coffee. I don’t mind either. By the way… I’m Chase. Chase Brody.” The green haired man introduced himself.

“I’m Henrik but… I can’t right now. I have my kids with me because they wanted to see you. They’re your fans” He gestured toward where his kids stood. Chase glanced in that direction and waved as soon as he spotted them.

“That’s cool and we can take them with us. I also have children around the same age, so I know how to handle them.” Chase smiled again. Henrik was absolutely mesmerized by his blue eyes and smile. He was a really beautiful man and he really wanted to know more about him. That was why he agreed with what Chase had suggested.

They left the skatepark and, of course, picked up Henrik’s children, who were absolutely thrilled that their dad was a soulmate of their favorite YouTuber. They went to a café that was nearby and ordered tea for the kids and Chase, while Henrik ordered coffee. 

While they waited for their ored, Freddie and James bombarded Chase with question after question, covering for their father’s nervous and excited silence. Thankfully, Chase just laughed and answered each one with all the patience of a good father. Henrik couldn’t help smiling as he watched, relieved that the three of them were getting along so naturally. He hoped Chase’s kids would like him just as much.

They were interrupted only when the waitress brought them their order, but as soon as they thanked her, they started to debate again. When Freddie and James were satisfied, they finally let their father ask questions. But Henrik was not like his eager children, and he let Chase ask what he wanted to know, so they took turns. 

But after some time, Henrik had to excuse himself.

“I’ll be right back, just going to the bathroom.” He said, got up from the table and went to the toilet. 

The doctor wasn’t gone too long, but when he was coming back to the table, he heard his son talking to Chase in a serious voice.

“You’re our favorite YouTuber and you’re cool but if you hurt our dad, you’re gonna pay for it.” James said and Freddie nodded in agreement. Henrik had no idea how to react. He wanted to scold them that they can’t talk to people like that, but he was also deeply touched that they care for him so much.

“Don’t worry, dudes. I would never want to hurt your dad. He’s my soulmate…” Chase starts answering, then notices Henrik and smiles at him, „and he’s even better than I ever imagined my soulmate to be.” he winked at him.

“You’re such a flirt!” Henrik laughed as he sat back in his chair.

“Yeah, but I’m your flirt from now on, so deal with it.” He gave him a quick answer, with a big grin on his face. 

“God, what are you punishing me for?” the doctor jokingly asked.

“Hey!” Chase pouted, while Freddie and James giggled.

Henrik felt like he was dreaming. This was something he wished for so long that it was almost unreal that it really happened. He could feel tears in his eyes, so he blinked rapidly to stop them from spilling out. But one of them found its way out anyway, so he wiped it with his hand, hoping that no one noticed. But Chase did. He reached out and took Henrik’s hand in his, squeezing it lightly as an assurance that everything is okay. Henrik mouthed a ‘thank you’ to him and smiled. He believed that from now on, things would be much better than ever… because now, he finally had his soulmate with him.