#but i didn't see the point as it will end when y'all lose interest anyway

[rottmnt-residuum]

Is there a date limit for the panel redraws? Asking for a college swamped friend

Not really? The soft date is Feb 8th, but there's no real ending, thats just when i'll stop tagging them as 'anniversary drawathon' and just 'residuum redraws' instead. It's just something fun for you all to do and for me to enjoy

[theshadowsingersraven]

Actually a huge reason I want Elain out of the Night Court is that I, as a READER, am fucking tired of being there!

We've spent five books in the same fucking place where there are six other Courts to go to! There's a whole other continent! Girly likes to travel and some people lose their fucking mind at the premise of her potentially moving out of the Night Court if it makes her happy--as if Feyre didn't find her HEA with her husband and kid in a new house, living separately from both her sisters?

As if Elain’s interests also don't conveniently align with what would narratively benefit the reader and prevent them from getting bored?

When the Day Court, where people speculate she could end up, is next to the Night Court? It is quite literally the only neighbor that the Night Court has?

This is a world with winnowing where Rhys can just yeet himself across the entire continent from Night to Spring and then back to Night with it taking zero toll on his overall energy and magic. We saw him do it for Feyre.

I'm sure if any of the sisters wanted to see one another, Rhys, the most powerful High Lord in history, can make it happen as easily as if she were two minutes away instead of one territory away.

That's not even mentioning that Elain was going to get married to Graysen, meaning she likely expected to move out of her family's house as a human anyway?

Elain fucked Graysen in his own damn estate and came back to her and Nesta's house glowing, I think she probably had no qualms with moving in with him. Meaning she'd likely never see Feyre again and rarely see Nesta since she hated Graysen.

This whole "people want her away from her family and nephew and that's bad" is so unbelievably infantilizing to her character, which is even worse considering how much SJM has drilled into the narrative that Elain is fostering independence and no one decides what she does and doesn't do. Y'all missed the point, quite completely!

Elain will be fine if she ends up outside the NC. And so will you!

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

now that I've had some time to think about Book Three's cover/description, here are some bullet-point thoughts

The art style has vastly improved from Book One. It feels like Tillie's finally comfortable with style, and the characters here don't have same face syndrome here. Also the color palette here is my favorite of the three covers. From everything that I've read from Tillie, the way she works with color is a strong point of her work... which again, makes me wish the entire comic was in color but nooooo...

It looks like Ricca has her own cane now, which makes sense given a bit point of her character through the series is her worsening vision like... even with her glasses, she's practically blind.

Clementine has a new hat. Y'know... because her iconic hat got left with AJ... y'all still remember AJ, right? The comics don't.

Dr. Barnwell the cat made it onto the cover.... you know I'm in too deep with these damn comics when I see some random person be like "Clementine's getting a new cat" and I say, out loud, "That's Dr. Barnwell, you dingus, he's been around since the end of Book One." AS IF ANYONE ELSE CARES!

I know too much about this series, y'all

In my defense, I'm a little snappy about stuff like that after Book Two came out and people were just making shit up about what happens, going as far as to fake screenshots, and tell people it's "just like fifty shades of grey" when uh NO? it's not? People were deliberately trying to deceive others over certain elements and it still makes me mad whenever I think about it.... ANYWAY

We also see Fen and Olivia featured here, too. Fen's one of the more interesting side characters we've gotten, and I'm glad she survived Book Two, and Olivia.... I notice the way she's drawn with the front of her body hidden. I know that's probably to not show spoilers for Book Two since that reveal's a big deal, but still.

"Clementine finally has it all–a safe place to live, a girlfriend, and even a cat…but nothing lasts forever. And when Clementine suffers a loss unlike anything she’s ever faced, a new mentor called The Gardener offers her a new family, and a new way of living… but at what cost?" This is the description we were given.

First of all, Clementine had it all at Ericson, and it didn't make her happy. In fact, it made her so miserable that she left... I kinda hope this book does something with that by giving her everything she wants [as in, the safe home, a romantic partner, friends, a cat, etc] and she's STILL unhappy...? And it ends with her leaving again? But something tells me it won't.

Clementine's going to suffer a loss "unlike anything she's ever faced"? Ehhhh, press X to doubt. I played the games, I lived through all of her losses. I don't think anything will ever top seeing her parents as walkers and then losing Lee right after.

I mentioned before that the obvious direction here would be for Olivia to lose her baby, or for Olivia to die after giving birth, but uh... Clementine's been through both of those things with Christa and Rebecca... but we have to keep in mind that we're so far removed from the games at this point that it's never going to bring those up, y'know?

Real talk though? I'm very intrigued by the idea of a new mentor character called The Gardener who is apparently offering her a new family and a new way of life... but at a cost. What cost? What new way of life? What new family? Are we joining a cult now?

Listen, we missed out on the opportunity for a cannibalism plot in Book One, and Miss Morro left a lot to be desired in Book Two, so like... go extra dark this time. C'mon, Tillie, do it.

Also, Amos is definitely coming back as a twist villain, I feel it in my bones. We didn't see a body at the end of Book One okay!

I'm mostly joking but also NOT JOKING AT ALL!

My offer still stands, if Amos comes back, the book is an automatic 5/5 stars, no questions asked.

Anyway, I'll keep y'all updated on this, and when it releases next year, I'll write my in-depth review... "I read it so you don't have to" and all that.

Just as a final reminder, and allow me to make it extra big so that everyone can see it:

Leave Tillie Walden alone. I don't care if you hate the comics or think they're an insult to the game or whatever else. You want to express that, then do it on your blog. Don't send it to Tillie. We have enough pricks harassing her as is, and you're the bigger asshole here if you think it's okay to send her shit like that, so don't.

Seriously, it's the last book and then Tillie's done with the series, and I doubt they're gonna sign her on to make more. The games still exist, you can still go play them, these comics aren't taking that away from you... and if you feel like they are, then don't engage with them, period. It's not hard.

I cover the comics in-depth for people who don't want to read them but are curious about what happens. They don't bother me in that "they ruined the games" way that they used to, so I can handle it. If you can't, then do yourself a favor and just don't. Just don't!

[picnokinesis]

My friend is running a text-based rpg campaign, and I'm absolutely in love with it, so I decided to draw a 'cover' for each day in the story. We'll see if I can do one for each day, but I'm SO proud of how these turned out so far - all of them are inked in my notebook first, and then coloured digitally. If anyone's interested in the story, I've explained more about it all under the cut!

OKAY. So the game is called City of Mists, and basically it's...kinda hard to explain, but I'd call it 'cyberpunk noir', but with a 90s technological aesthetic. Kinda like when you read Issac Asimov's books and they're using computers but it's all cassettes and film-based technology. Anyway, it's awesome. Every character has a normal life in the city - their 'logos' - but there are some characters who are called Rifts, who have something mythological manifest within them - their 'mythos'. Now, the mythos can kinda be anything, but the point is that it's a legend or story that manifests within the character, and thus gives them new abilities. And every Rift has to balance their logos and their mythos - because to delve too much into your mythos means you forget your normal life and become entirely consumed by the mythos...but to focus too much on your logos means to lose, and forget, your mythos entirely. The 'mist' of the city obscures mythological and supernatural things from those who haven't 'awakened' yet - but Rifts can see through the mist.

So, my little guy is - sighs. Okay. Y'all are gonna laugh. Please be aware that I know, okay? I know. It's fine. This is a choice I've made. But he's called Nakis Sandhu, and he's an investigative journalist (NOT with amnesia) who, when he was a kid, was involved in a train accident that killed his parents, but him and his twin sister miraculously survived. He's trans, and he has a van - he doesn't live in it, thank goodness, but it is important because his mythos is Captain Nemo from 20,000 Leagues Under the Seas (this is why he looks like Sacha Dhawan, because like....Sacha Dhawan should play Captain Nemo and I'll die on that hill). And so Nakis, when his mythos awakened, turned his van into the Nautilus - Captain Nemo's submarine - and so it now works underwater too, and can travel undetected. He also becomes like, a technological genius and can invent stuff on the fly, but he never studied engineering or anything - it just comes to him in flashes of inspiration.

Nakis' main thing is that he's trying to figure out what happened in the train crash when he was a kid. He saw something different to everyone else, because he saw through the mist - what everyone else thought was an accident was actually two Rifts duking it out (I think). One of these Rifts was a blue bull that is apparently called 'the Bull of Thunder', and the other was a man with fire based abilities - called 'The Burning Man'. On Day 2, Nakis discovered a metal case that had belonged to the Burning Man, that had been hidden for twenty years - since the day of the accident - and was full of clues, including some photographic film that needed developing. Unfortunately, seems that there's a strange filter on the photos, so it's impossible to tell what's on them...luckily, my guy made friends with a photographer on Day 1 (who I believe is another player character) whilst investigating something else, and as a result he's now passed the film on to him, in the hopes that he'll be able to clear them up.

One funny thing: Day 0 was supposed to be a 'chill' day to figure out how the game mechanics worked, and figure out what your character would do on a normal day. Nakis immediately went to investigate something and then nearly ended up drowning RIP. On Day 1, when continuing to investigate the thing from Day 0, he...got shot in the shoulder HAHAHAH but he's fine, he's doing great, he didn't bleed out in his apartment which is always a win. He also bumped into another player character by doing this - so yay!

[qpjat076]

actual serious thoughts™ on the Acolyte

Spoilers. obviously. under the cut tho because i'm sweet like that. also it's a bit of an essay.

I loved this show. I LOVED. this show. It had some ups and downs, but I really hope it gets renewed for another season. I was NOT expecting it to end so. . . open ended? I'm glad it did though.

Dividing my thoughts on this into PLOT and PRODUCTION. We will start with the PLOT:

The ending was perfect. The full circle of Sol and the crew spreading a horrible lie only to then be tainted in his death through a second lie is just so poetic. I was losing it, it was flawless and amazing storytelling. It seems SO in character for Master Vernestra seeing as I doubt the council or anyone knew of Quimir going all evil. . . I bet she told them his "death" was an accident. she doesn't seem at ALL like the kind of person to air her own failures loudly, and she'd see his betrayal as a personal failure. Or, if not, she she would fear (her first mistake) that the council would see his betrayal as her failure. Pride is always the fall of Jedi, we've seen it time and time again (because being prideful is the easiest way to let fear take control of your life). Anyway, 11/10 for that plot point being resolved.

for real though, there was NO WAY they were going to resolve every single plot thread they'd laid out across this show in one 40-minute episode. it would have been too crammed. nothing would feel satisfying. leaving a decent amount of food for thought was definitely the right move, so they could focus on the plot at hand (Osha, Mae, Sol, Quimir). and they've left me wanting more. if disney is so committed to the 8-ep bit they've got going (sans Andor for some beautiful reason), then this was the best way to get the extra episodes needed to address everything. I WANT MORE.

I want a whole season focusing on Quimir and his relationship to Vernestra. I WANT THAT TEA. How did Quimir get to Brendock? What was Vernestra's breaking point, or what was Quimir's? I want to know how the hell this all plays in to Plaguis. WHY IS HE THERE?!?! Are he and Quimir working together? if so, was Quimir Plaguis's padawan, and is Quimir now trying to usurp him? If so. . . then we know how that ends and that would be a helluva way to go about telling us a story (affectionate, star wars is at its best when its killing characters I love fr)

Speaking of Plaguis. . . HOOOOOOO BUDDY i was not just expecting his lil jumpscare and then NOTHING ELSE. I was down for it. I figured he'd be a part of it. I was whooping and *insert DiCaproio pointing meme here* at the screen, I was EXCITED to see him. and honestly I love that he just. . . wasn't elaborated upon any further. He didn't NEED to, because they're setting us up for more. I WANT more. I didn't, however, feel as good about the Yoda tease. . . i mean I WAS wondering where he was during all of this so it kinda worked? but also. that whole scene played out more like a marvel end credits "ooooh, what nostalgia character is comin back next?" kind of deal. moreso than plaguis bc like. . . i've never seen plaguis before. i know very little about him as only a movie/tv show watcher. but I've seen Yoda a thousand times, so the effect is lessened. Yoda IS needed to the story so I know why he's here, and I am interested to see him more in his earlier prime (and less cgi please lord don't do him dirty a second time). but it could've been a liiiiiittle smoother.

last thought: while sol's death was a little telegraphed (honestly, i wish Osha just saw Sol's body, no context for who killed him as opposed to the "mae killed him" bit), but the way Vernestra handled it made it all pretty forgivable. the twist wasn't his death or that Osha was gonna turn. we all pretty much could guess it. the twist was how his death was lied about, and I'm SO here for it. it balances out. this ep was amazing y'all i'm not over it.

Now for PRODUCTION (though I've kinda talked about it a little)

I know people have been overwhelmingly negative about this show. I really don't see it. And yeah, I maybe am the intended audience because I need to be restrained like a dog every time I see Manny Jacinto's arms. . . but that wasn't the only thing to like here. I liked the show even before that. It's interesting. Intriguing. Me frothing at the mouth over Arm™ was pretty minimal compared to how I'm rabid for more lore about these characters in this era.

I have three complaints: first some line delivery maybe could use a little work overall, but this last ep was the best it has been. also it's nowhere NEAR as bad as some line deliveries in the past (you know the ones). second, slow motion has no place in this world anymore in a non-comedic based fight scene. not since the matrix, anyway. that's the only exception. please let it die. never want to see it again. finally, I really do wish the flashbacks had been mingled more with plot and episodes as opposed to shelling them off separately. I also wish we could have seen a padawan Osha and Sol in flashbacks a bit too. . . though that may come next season (do another one disney). three complaints (four total with my mild beef against Yoda's intro) is high praise though, so hats off. Lee Jung-jae killed it till the very end, I was SO impressed how desprate I was to like him even though at the end. . . I didn't really want to. He made me WANT to believe he was good. Best part of the show hands-down. Amandla Stenberg was a much stronger presence towards the end, but at the very beginning I thought she did great too. While I wish she had more of a chance to stand out, I'm ever-hopeful she gets a greater chance to in the *hopeful* next season, especially without Lee Jung-jae stealing the spotlight every single episode. All the supporting Jedi martyrs killed it too. too bad I'll never see Jekki and Yord be funny together again, it's a real tragedy. Manny was awesome but also I'm a little biased (Arm™, also literally everything else about him in this show, costumes, fight choreography etc., hot DAYUM they knew what they were doing). So yeah. Awesome show, I hope the overall negativity towards it doesn't discourage a second season. It is wanted!!! please feed me.

[hummingbird-games]

Postmortem: #CrushedVN Edition

Okie doke y'all! It's been some time so I guess we're good to dissect this project!

(I almost didn't bother with writing this up, but at the end of the day I do the dev diaries and the random--game development related--posts for me to look back on and prove I'm learning. Getting better. Not regressing. So. Might as well move forward!)

Background/Inspiration

It's like if you took my late 2022 brain and threw it into a blender!! Most of these are self-explanatory (Boys Love media I adore with emphasis on early to late teen experiences.) Let me draw your attention to The Edge Of Seventeen: not sure how many times I've rewatched, but it makes me tear up every single time. Main character Nadine is awkward AF, still hasn't come to terms with the death of her father years prior, isn't on the best terms with her mom or her older brother, and even ends up on rocky terms with her best friend too!! Anyway, that feeling of being young, and a little angry and a little sad and not feeling quite right on the inside but eventually reaching a place where things fiiiiiinally start to work out...it's just a sliver of what I wanted to capture and infuse into Crushed.

Listen y'all, I just pulled and pulled and pulled from real life experiences. I was inspired by authors Julian Winters, Leah Johnson, and Jay Coles' works (all Young Adult authors LOL! Fitting since I seem to be creating things for the teens at this juncture in my life). This all provided the base for Corey and his inner world. Also, I've been wanting to create a bookworm character...no time like the present right???

As for deciding to specifically create a boys' love visual novel of all things?? First, y'all must understand that I fought the original idea and anything related to it. This was coming off the heels of me suddenly seeing (another) wave of players throwing fits about indie games forcing you to play as a femme character. First off, no one is forcing you to do anything. Secondly, we are still at a point in video games where the majority of characters you play as are male. Forgive some of us for wanting a little variety 😑Thirdly, for those looking for games where there's even more inclusivity (choosing pronouns, playing as nonbinary/trans, and etc) I really wish that players would seek out those games that ARE being made and support them so the developers don't lose steam and drop their projects. It's so disheartening to make something that's meant to be consumed and BOOM, silence.

Anyway, all of that to say that as a developer herself who's tired of watching girls' media be regulated as Less Than, made fun of, and just overall disrespected, I wasn't interested in making any games that didn't center a female character. But back to my main point!!!

I had Heartstopper, the webtoon, infecting my brain. I was so not immune to falling in love with Nick and Charlie like everybody else. But then I was hit for the 34573847th time that I was engaging with white queer media. And I knew that if Nick and Charlie were Black Brits, they wouldn't be getting half the attention they are now. Even less if the boys were girls and we had a sapphic relationship on our hands. (But that sapphic story from Hummingbird Games is still brewing, and Corey and Jacob's story was ready first.)

Also....the biphobia is real. It's insidious. I could write a whole book about how the straights and the gays need to get their shit together. I could then write a sequel about how the Black community can be some of the worst offenders when it comes to our Bi Fam and say some of the most ignorant and devastating things. But I had limited time on my hands and decided to write a short VN instead. Once I let Corey just be, exist as the person he is, everything fell into place.

Things That Went Right...

I took a very niche, very Specific To Me, very nestled in the space between my heart and my brain and wrote a script just so I could be a part of a game jam specifically highlighting and supporting the work of Black game developers.

And I submitted the bitch on time.

I'm always down for anxiety rep!!! As a fellow anxiety haver, I say the more visibility the better!!! At the same time, it's not a one size fits all, and there were some things I dealt with that I'd never seen depicted and I figured I might as well be true to my experiences. Maybe someone would take solace in Corey the way I've taken solace in other characters for reflecting my lived experiences.

I tried new things I was scared of or didn't have time for with HSD or didn't feel confident enough to sit and learn previously: partial voice acting (and holding auditions to incorporate more), a text message system (which wasn't my own but part of learning to code for me means being able to take what others have done and replicate and/or use it myself), and implementing music and sound effects with intention. I've done it with film, but games are a close cousin in a lot of ways. A LOT of ways. I should remember that.

I still didn't do too well in the marketing department but for this game, it didn't feel like a failure. I also didn't really try. Oops. I've got to do better. I went into Crushed knowing it wouldn't have half the audience HSD does, and yet the feedback I've received for Crushed has made me want to break down into tears of relief.

I launched the game around 10 something at night my time and proceeded to be sick with anxiety for about 3 days. For three whole days I legit felt like I was going to die. And then I wanted to laugh because didn't I just make a game to express a version of the human condition?

Things That Were Different...

HSD showed off my skills when it comes to intensive planning and sticking mostly to that plan. Crushed was a jam entry that became more extensive over time and found me flying off the seat of my pants.

I also had less (aha, zero???) budget this time around. Because again. Jam entry. It wasn't supposed to be a Big Affair. But now that it's over and out to you guys, I'm not mad. You could say that it all worked out.

If I Could Go Back, I Would...

For one, I would have smacked the voice in my head that said "let's add more voice acting now". I love the feature, but there's no reason why I couldn't have done auditions after release. I was impatient and restless waiting for art assets, and my idleness led me to take on more things just to not feel useless. I Have Learned My Lesson, thanks.

I Had The Pleasure of Learning...

There will always be an obstacle in the way of game development. (And sometimes your body will be your own worst enemy, yuck.)

I don't know who my audience is (yet) for HBG but I'm always a part of it. And that's not a bad thing. If I hadn't felt so strongly about Crushed or even HSD, neither project would have happened because I would have given up a long time ago.

To the Future...

Empasis on future, but the world of Crushed isn't exhausted. It lives in the bigger universe of HSD:JY but took on a life of its own. So it's no surprise that Corey and his friends became even more precious to me. Not that I know when I'll be able to work on it, but right after finishing and publishing the demo, I outlined a rough draft for a kinetic novel sequel told through Jacob's POV. In my head, Corey's story was always half of a whole, and busting out Jacob's outline so quickly confirmed that.

(What I didn't anticipate was how loved Oke and Keegan would be, or that there would be a want for their story outside of myself??? Between us and this postmortem, I hope to sort out their deal and get the satisfaction of seeing another type of love story/dynamic I can't get enough of and share it!)

Closing Thoughts

The comments I've gotten concerning Crushed and noting the appreciation for its slice-of-life/grounded-ness is reassuring! Maybe I'll branch out to other genres, but realism will be something I always come back to. Also, making Crushed wasn't too traumatic soooooo that means I'm still making games LOL! Can't get rid of me yet!

- Gemini 💛

(some links of other posts where I went on tangents concerning the creation of Crushed; these can also be found by searching the tag "crushed vn"!)

Music Inspo and Crushed

Memes Tag Game

Game Dev Commentary: Bonus Content

[basedkikuenjoyer]

A Marvelously Wonderful Life

1102 was a very tough chapter to write about. I usually have a draft ready from the Raws, but here there were a few angles I had to look at it from. So y'all are getting a Christmas bonus. On the surface this is just a cool, cool chapter. We split between Kuma and Bonney's stories, showing the former's side of known events. It's so moving in it's own right, do remember part of why I choose to focus on the meta narrative aspects is because it's hitting very close to home. And y'all this one's a doozy. Bookends. So this flashback begins with Ginny saving the day at God Valley the way she did and now ends with Kuma setting a precedent for the exact narrative trope we're looking for? Showing hidden sides of known events.

That's it, that's like...the entire foundational building block of all this weird shit I've said. Kiku was perfectly set up to do this with all of Wano, but it'd really start looking like a new recruit narrative fast. It's not just saying that the same way anyone could do that, we've pointed out several specific places where you could guess something happened based on context clues. Miss Unassuming is kinda the #1 archetype to pair with a twist told that way. In essence, this flashback starts and ends by setting a precedent. That's one way you could look at it, given I can tie both to Victoria Cindry is blowing my mind.

You cheeky lil shit. Don't worry, I'm not getting ahead of myself. This could just be a last note of the flashback and next chapter we're back to fighting Saturn. Kuma pops in to save the day with a last ounce of humanity, the miracle we didn't see with Cindry. Tomorrow we'll talk big picture, why I still wonder if this is a red herring walking the same line as Yamato. But first we have to ask the basic question, where does 1103 go from here? Because it can do that...but did we see it? A repeat of how we came back from the big cutaway. When we skipped the night in the lab. Is this the start of us coming back to that? Don't forget that was a double-bluff too.

That is an intriguing possibility. Always cool when you see the concept you expected but in a different way that's instantly so much better. Yeah, that is the way to play with the flow of this narrative. Skip the night, get to the high drama, fill in the night, finish the fight. To me, if that's what we're doing then this is almost assuredly heading towards the "Double Rashomon" idea. There'll be one more segment away. Maybe it's the alternate take on Wano. Maybe that's through Sword and Drake's report. Maybe it's the two Stussys as a pretext to let Marco do it. Maybe it's something completely different with or without alt-Wano as the fourth, real one. Neat right?

Crackle. Oh man, story's picking up another frequency again. There's something I'm left with here. Kuma's a total patron saint of teddy bears and genuinely good dudes everywhere. He's so cuddly and sweet and I know some of y'all are gonna hate me for this but he's also kind of a trusting idiot. So it's interesting you have that "Bakura" split personality element seep in.

We've broached this subject before, it's where Okiku was an evolution of Himura Kenshin. Which is really just the difference between a man making big, grandiose axioms about nonviolence vs. a sensible, pragmatic woman who will bear the burden of doing what's necessary as a last resort. Remember how much Kuma's sacrifices troubled Ginny. A little more grit and realism from the very spiritual Kuma probably would have been better for everyone involved, but at least people end up remembering you as a figure like Oden.

Makes this little crackle very interesting. It theoretically works as a Chekov's Gun; a way for Kuma to have a happy ending if Vegapunk snuck it in anyways. Or it works as a roadmap for where Kuma, saintly as he may be, fell short and is part of something bigger. Recall, we do make a point of showing something similar out of Vivi losing her cool in a tense conversation with Cipher Pol. (Psst, and Stussy setting up still struggling with personal identity issues that are silly to worry too much about.)

[itsjustagoober]

So, uhhhhhhh.

Howdy y'all. Been a minute since I've really been around here. I mean, yes I've been reblogging and stuff, but like...that's roughly all the time I've had to do? Just pop in for a bit or so, reblog and head off again.

Gonna do my best to keep it short, but I'll also put it under the cut to keep the base post short to most. Here goes nothing, I guess?

TL;DR: A family emergency back in June literally caused my entire summer, which I had originally planned to be my most creative and focused time for projects and art and stuff, to be watching after and living with a family member up until the first week of October to make sure they would be okay. I then took a week vacation this past week to visit my girlfriend and I was so relaxed I didn't do anything else, either. I am gonna need time to get back into the groove on here as I process and reassess what I wanna do for my blogs for the rest of the year and from here out.

To start, I am very glad that I made sure my great uncle was fine for sure, the whole time I was living with him. I just also realized that, now that it's over, being his immediate caretaker for three-to-four months? Life really stole my summer and everything fun I wanted to do this year. It sucks. It's not entirely his fault, but hrrrrmgle.

So, June. I was hearing how wet and frequent his coughs were and was trying to get him to go to Urgent Care/go see his primary (which he assured me he didn't have one when I always am the one making his appointments for him), but he continued to refuse and fight me the entire way. He does this to everyone who tries to tell him how to do something he doesn't want to hear, so I just took it and knew he'd realize sooner or later this was a losing battle on his side.

That came the day he went for his dentist appointment and he ended up having a cardiac episode in the chair before they started. They called me right back and I took him to the hospital. They gave him so much stuff to bring his heart rate down, like holy shit. Thankfully, since the dentist didn't start with anything, there was nothing to worry about with drugs fighting with other drugs. I stayed there until his stepdaughter finally got off of work and I was allowed to go home after a pretty draining and traumatic day.

Oh, that reminds me. I said it wasn't wholly his fault about how this summer turned out. That's because there's another character here, his stepdaughter. She will be referred to as S from here out. While I'm at it, Great Uncle will also be R and S' daughter will be K. K is pretty cool, though, so you probably won't see her here as much as the other two, considering.

So, S is an interesting lady. She is about as old as my mother and acts like she's 22 still. Nothing against her wanting to be that way, but it made it very difficult to genuinely talk with her or see her at any point that wasn't on her time and when she was in town. Most of the summer, she barely came to visit despite everything. Every weekend, she went out partying or camping or out of town/state because she couldn't handle all the stuff with R. You can guess who that fell to, obviously. And the fact that S assumed I was gonna take care of him for her anyway, bleh. Yes, as he's family and I care about the people I care about, but assuming all that and I had to find this out later and from someone else? Not a great impression there.

Took a dinner break here, so where was I? I visited him in the hospital when I could, mostly. He was moved around so much and going through procedures and the like I barely caught him in passing. The day he was let out and moved to rehab, however, I was sure to go visit him ASAP. I made sure he was settled, met the nurses taking care of him and the schedules for medication.

He didn't have an amazing time there, according to him. However, this is because of two very important details: He didn't want to be there and wanted to be home already and that he needed to complete rehab to get home. You can probably imagine where this is going, yes. He refused to do his bare minimum of exercises and the like and then wondered why they were keeping him longer, even though they wanted to see him go and make a full recovery.

Another detail that's important is that one of the doctors in the hospital sent him to rehab with a defibrillator vest. This doctor apparently didn't explain it to him, any of his nurses at the hospital, none of them at the rehab center and most of all, me. So, this was a 6-pound burden for us all that reeeeally pissed him off especially. The damn thing would beep for any reason and while there was a book for each beep, every message shared the same beep! You wouldn't know the reason until you cross-checked the manual! And the damn battery pack kept nailing him in the shin, too. Augh.

Eventually, after a short time and a big tantrum from him that required S and I to be there for his patient review (in which S also had a breakdown because of this), he finally realized he couldn't get out until he kept the vest on and did the harder exercises to build up enough strength to be let go to go back home. And then he was, about the second to last week of August. And that's when I moved in to be his caretaker and help him with stuff around the house while he got used to it again.

The longest part came next, all his follow-ups with doctors he saw in the hospital to give him a clean bill of health to drop the defibrillator vest fully or drop it to get an internal one installed. All these follow-ups took end of August through to the end of September and his patience for everything was so worn thin. Every little thing agitated him and he never wanted to do anything extra outside of what he HAD to do. It was very frustrating for everyone involved trying to help him, myself included.

Finally, we came to October 2nd. The day he finds out about the vest and his medical stuff going forward. We go in and see the doctor. He's a very nice man and he's doing his best to do his job and let R know that, while he should be okay to take off the vest now, he needs to still be careful as he could plummet in health at any moment if he overdoes anything or even does super nothing (ya know, stagnant type nothing). Of course, R only heard that he could take the vest off and that's what he was waiting for. He was suddenly very energetic and headstrong that the doctor then quickly tried to let him know we'd still need to see him in a few months and make sure everything is okay. He even offered we come in later in the week for him to get a light defib shock to fix his heart rate from afib.

This, of course, is not what R wanted to hear. He was done, as far as he was concerned, and didn't want to do anything else. It started with a 'No.' and soon turned into a full screaming match, only from his side, to the doctor just trying to make sure he'd be alright going forward. Once the doctor realized there was nothing he could do to change R's mind, mostly from a motion from me that it wasn't worth the argument, he dismissed us as professionally as he could and everything. We left and I grabbed his card, just in case anything happens, ya know?

We're downstairs and he's so proud of himself for that outburst. He got what he wanted to hear and wasn't going to take anything else for anything he didn't want to hear or realize. We went to lunch and I just sort of clammed up for the rest of the day because it wasn't worth the effort. He didn't apologize after he calmed down or anything. He was just so proud of himself and it pretty much made me feel nauseated.

Since that was just a week or so ago from this, he started to get a big head. He was good to go and didn't need anymore doctors or meds and or anyone to help him. He started getting visibly and vocally frustrated with me, so I figured that was a good time for a short break from each other. Went back once or twice to get my stuff like clothes and food from living there for two-to-three months and then saw him off that last Saturday for October 7th. I was so anxious and everything, especially with hoping he'd be alright while I was gone.

I told S and K I'd be taking a week vacation and then go back to pre-cardiac episode (once a week every Wednesday or whatever day if he had appointments). Never heard back from S, but I thanked me for everything I had done all summer and said my kindness and love would be paid back in time. One of my great aunts, married to one of R's brothers, said the same thing. I believe them both when they said that too. I didn't need it, but I guess affirmation and validation that I did a good thing was worth it, after all it had taken out of me.

And then I went to Missouri to visit my girlfriend (@somechubbynerd ) for a week. I was so relaxed and so forced to not do anything I didn't have to that I sort of just existed in a time and limbo of bliss? I have high anxiety as it is and, not feeling it for the first time in years, I sort of didn't know what to do with myself?

My girlfriend helped loads with that, though, by guiding me through places she wanted to take me and spend time with me. We cuddled and watched YouTube together. We baked cookies and made a chicken fettuccine dinner together. We went to the zoo together and then to one of her favorite restaurants in the same day. She made me so at ease and helped me be myself for once that I sort of just was so mind-numbed into pure bliss and peace with myself.

It felt great, looking back, but I just genuinely didn't know what to do about it. I hadn't felt that in years and I am still feeling it as I write this now. It feels so nice and so calming. This is awesome, given that I actually went in to urgent care for a panic attack that was gonna put me out for a few days, back in June/July. It sucked so much, but I'm glad they helped me recover so quickly. I couldn't afford to be down for too long. I am so essential to everyone around me and to be there for them, even if I know that they all can't always be there for me.

My girlfriend, as well as a few others, made me realize I probably need to start saying no more. Not because it's to be a bastard, but I can't give myself away like this again and again and get so little in return or no time to recover from the last thing. Obviously, I should still do stuff on a basis I choose, but yeah. Maybe I should say no a little more. It also made me realize that, while not anyone's particular fault, my summer was stolen from me. This summer was planned between my girlfriend and I, as well as a few mutual friends, to work together on art, writing and projects we have been invested in for a year or more and have to keep putting off due to life and work stuff. This was gonna be the summer we were all available...and then we weren't.

I'm still processing these last three months and the year or more so far, since I finally had a break long enough to realize what's going on with myself and my life and someone to bounce my thoughts off of that I couldn't with family. It has opened my eyes a bit more about my circumstances and what the near future might hold for me. I miss my girlfriend so much already and I felt so bad I wasn't crying as much as she was when she had to drop me back off at the train station, but I guess I was still processing it too?

Yeah, still processing things. Probably for a bit, too. I'll probably need some time to ease back into things here. All my blogs and what I was doing before sort of disappearing for a long time and also being interrupted from a lot of threads I wanted to continue or even start. I hope you all can be patient and understanding with me and I'll do my best to do the same. I love y'all and nothing will ever change that, okay? I just need some time to figure myself out again. Yeah. Just need more time...

[flowered-mp3]

u guys.... i just cried in my bf's car yesterday (again!) lol pls skip this but i know some of y'all invested and i just need an outlet so......

so like... my bf raised an interesting question weeks ago, essentially asking me "how do u know if ur in love?". i was a little caught off guard at the time, but i answered that i wasn't sure, because i've never been in love. then, i asked him the same question and he thought that he might've loved one of his exes, but he wasn't entirely sure, either.

then, flash forward to last week, when he called me at night (like he normally does). usually he tends to get in his feelings at that time, and started to ask if i thought that our relationship was moving too fast. and to be fair, it was moving fast but i never felt uncomfortable with it? it never felt wrong. we 100% progressed faster than most couples but it never felt wrong. we just did whatever we felt comfortable with. he also told me that this is the fastest that he's ever fallen for someone, and the fastest that he's ever had a gf meet his family/go on staycation/be physical, etc. so, he was afraid that because he's so into me, he would miss any signs of potential points of conflict. and the reason why this was bugging him was because he doesn't want to lose me. there were times in his previous relationships where he ignored those issues because he was so enamoured initially, and obv those relationships ended. the idea of losing me terrifies him, and vice versa for me.

next, i asked what brought this on and he stayed silent for a while before saying that on the last day of our staycation, he wanted to say that he loved me. i was so shook over the phone that i started crying. idk why i just couldn't believe my ears.

but then, he backtracked again because he was also scared because he also wasn't sure if what he was feeling was love - similar to me. he also mentioned that a couple of days before our staycation he statted asking around "how do you know that you're in love" and the only person online was his ex (she wasn't a great gf to him and kinda toxic, they dated 3 to 4 years ago, but she recently reappeared in his life to apologize for what she did to him. honestly? good for her, and i hope that she's happy with her new bf) so that kinda made me :/ but it's ok because it worked out lol just wait. anyways, we essentially talked it out and i said that there's no pressure for him to figure it out. feelings are complicated.

so i also said that i didn't think that i was ready to say that i loved him yet. and he was so sweet about it, saying that he would wait however long that i needed :')

ok so flash forward to the present. i was thinking alot over the past week and i was just kinda realizing that wow. i really like him. but saying that i really like him isn't really cutting it anymore. and when i went to his house for a bday party for his uncle tonight, i kinda just realized that fuck. i fell in love with him, and i didn't even fully recognize it. just looking at him the whole night, seeing how much he cares for his family, how loud his laugh is when someone says something really funny, the way that he holds my hand or traces his fingers on my knee absentmindedly, the way that he remembers that i'm introverted so he always tries to look for signs of my social battery running out. i knew that i would do anything for him, but it didn't really hit me until that moment.

i just realized that i wanted this for our future. for us to have a house together, to invite family over. to host something like this, except that i would be the person scrambling to cook and he would be taking out the alcohol for people to choose from.

so when he was driving me home, all the emotions came rushing through me. we were at a light and he stopped at it, glancing at me (as he usually does). all it took was for me to look at his face for me to be close to tears.

he immediately asked me what was wrong, and i said nothing. it was really late and it's a long drive, so i didn't want to inconvenience him. but then, he turned into a gas station 2 mins after and looked at me like "what's wrong, baby?" and i just. started tearing up. he started to comfort me, thinking that something made me upset or mad but instead, i looked at him, took a few deep breaths to gather the courage, and kissed him. i pulled away just enough to look into his eyes, and i said "i love you, too" with tears in my eyes.

i still remember the way that his eyes widened before i wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him, basically sobbing that i loved him. i was rambling at that point, being like “idk why i’m crying i’m not upset i’m so happy but idk i’m really emotional idk why i’m crying”. and then he asked me how i knew and i said that i didn’t really know, it just felt like something that i wanted to say. i just started spilling my heart out to him, saying that he makes me the happiest girl in the world, and that sometimes i care for him more than i care for myself, and how i want him to succeed in life and that i saw how he treats his family with such care and just???? i could tell that he was tearing up and i could just cry typing this out again.

then, he pulled out his phone and i was confused for a second, but then he started to pull up the convo he had with his ex - i really didn’t have anything to worry about. all he did was ask “how do u know if ur in love” and essentially just talked about me the entire time, saying that how much he liked me and how he didn’t know how to navigate all this because he’s never fallen so fast and hard for someone and that he thinks that i’m his last, that i’m the one. my heart :’)

then, all the details are a blur after that except for some. like i remember i was just rambling about my feelings and crying so i just pressed my forehead against his and tried to take a breath. but then, he said that he loved me too and his voice was cracking. once i heard those words come from him i immediately fell apart. he tucked his head into my neck and we hugged and cried. he pulled away just to look at me, and said that i was smart and beautiful and caring, and he loves that i love my family, that we laugh at the same stupid shit and that he imagines a future with us.

then, everything just made sense. all the times where he would hug me and pull away to look at me in the eyes, saying “i really like you.”, or when i said that i’ve always dreamed of having my own reading room with shelves of books that reached the ceiling (i told him this when we weren’t even dating), he remembered that and said “i really have to work harder on this program, this project will be a good asset on my resume when i’m applying for work after graduation. gotta afford a reading room, you know?” :’) or when he asked me how many years of dating would it take for me to think that it’s appropriate to get married, or when he said that he planned to date me for a very long time, or when he said that i make him want to be a better man.

then, in the midst of us crying, i said that i also think that he’s the one and he pulled me in for another kiss, hugged me, and we both just broke down and started to full on sob. i’m talking smiling and laughing and talking while crying, tears streaming down my face, saying that i think that he’s smart and kind and spontaneous and funny, and how i know that he can argue with his dad and sister but i know that he loves them, and that he loves his family very much. and how he’s always so in tune to my feelings that i don’t even notice. we were just sobbing in his car and hugging and kissing and saying that we loved eachother in the middle of a fucking gas station at 10:30 pm.

eventually when we calmed down, he started to drive again and i asked him how he knew. he couldn’t really pinpoint much either but he had some things. he said that he would remember the smallest details about me, like my mannerisms and such. the little random dances that i did when walking to his car when he picks me up, or when i wanted to show him something in the backyard and i reached for his hand. then, he said something so domestic and romantic that i just melted. on the last night of our staycation, he had sudden inspiration for his program and needed to do some quick research before bed. it was pretty late, 1 am it think, so i told him to come to bed soon. so, i decided to read a book until he was ready to sleep. 

so, he told me that he looked at me on the bed, book in hand, glasses on, reading light on, and found so much comfort in it. we didn’t exchange any words, but he realized that he wanted that. for us to share a bed in a place that we have together. he wants that comfy future, and he wants it with me and adlkfjd :’)

i also asked how long he was waiting to say it, and he didn’t give me a specific timeline he just said that he watched a podcast where they were like “when is it ok to say i love you” and one girl said 3-4 months lol so he wanted to wait 3-4 months but couldn’t lol. which is ok, because i couldn’t wait 3-4 months either. essentially, we couldn’t really pinpoint how we knew, we just kinda knew? 

so, he dropped me off home and said that he loved eachother before leaving. then, when he got home he texted me “have a good night, my love” and i want to SCREAM like THIS MAN IS NOT REAL alsdkfjdlk

anyways this is lovely. my feelings are all aldsfkjasdlkfjdafj but my bf loves me and i love him and there’s a mx comeback tomorrow. overall, it’s looking ok u guys :)

and to think that all this started with my friend forcing me to get a dating app :’)

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

; good enough

© @pedropcl

lee bodecker x fem!reader.

summary. your father invited you to his birthday party and things ended badly.

words. about 2.3k.

warnings, tags. nsfw, +18!!! drunk state, language, unprotected sex, daddy!kink, very brief degradation, mention of bodily fluids, very brief mention of violence. and i think that's all.

a / n. first time writing for this man that has me obsessed, so i hope y'all like it! none of my writings contains reader's body descriptions to be inclusive. if you find something out of place, please send me a message and i'll change it.

You didn't want to be there, but it was your father's birthday and you couldn't miss it. More than thirty minutes had passed since the last time you saw your husband standing in a corner of the large living room, sipping from his glass of whisky and judging every guest around in silence. Lee hated your parents, your family, their friends. And you didn't blame him. Your family never accepted him, always repeating that he wasn't good enough for you, nor your interests. Except for your mom. She wasn't the only one who didn't treat him like dirt.

Once that you escaped from your father's arms, showing you as a trophy and trying to set you up on a date with one of his best friend's sons, you stepped out of the house to the back garden. It was cold outside, having to close your jacket around your chest as you closed both arms over it. Following the footprints on the grass, you reached the improvised parking where different cars were stationed. The smoke coming from nowhere called your attention, glimpsing Lee sitting on the hood of his black Ford. Cigarette in his left hand and bottle of whisky in his right.

You doubted for a second to interrupt his moment of peace for the first time in two weeks. Two long weeks where you barely had spent time together. He started holding over his shifts because, apparently, there was too much paperwork to attend. You couldn't help but think that he was raving mad about you, or about something you did unconsciously. But the real problem was that your husband never used to talk about his feelings or what was going in his mind.

“I think you've drunk enough”. You uttered watching him raise the bottle to his lips.

Lee chuckled ironically, shaking his head. “Lucky me I don' care”.

Frowning and with your mouth pressed closed, you walked towards his position to face him. He had never talked to you like that, but he was being honest, shrugging his shoulders to point it out a little more.

“I do. I do care”.

“Don' worry, darlin'. I ain't gonna shame you in front of your family”. He scoffed bitterly, finally sipping from his drink. “Watya' doin' here anyway? Party's indoors”.

“You're here tho”.

“And who fuckin' cares, uh? You were having so much fun inside with that… pretty boy who works in Wall Street”. Your husband mocked taking a drag from his cigarette. “We should divorce, don' you think? So you coulda go with him to the big city, and don' be stuck in… How d'your father call it? Knockemshit. Stuck with a… fat sheriff of a shitty town”.

Lee didn't notice the tears blurring your gaze till he raised his face. The bitter smile curving his lips suddenly disappeared, putting his pale blue eyes away from you because it was too painful for him to watch you cry. Your husband gulped hardly, kissing his teeth as he threw the cigar somewhere on the ground. You couldn't believe he really wanted to divorce you, wrapping your heart with a suffocating sorrow that barely let you breathe. He was your life and, after three years together, he seemed to not give a shit about it sometimes.

“I ain' like them”. You whispered sniffing.

“Tha' doesn' change the fact that you don' deserve a man like me. Your father is right. 'M a fucking loser compared to anyone inside his damn house”.

You loved Lee with all your heart, soul, mind, body. He was everything you want in your existence —your life. So damn obsessed with his touch, his kisses, his smell of wind and leather, his smile, that beautiful pair of pale blue eyes. You refused to believe he was talking seriously.

“You should be there. I— Imma go home, tell your mo—”.

Before your husband could finish his goodbye, you interrupted him by slapping his face. He didn't see that coming and you'd never imagine yourself hitting him. But you needed it, seeming the only way to stop him from abandoning you there. He kept his face away from you, trying to comprehend what had just happened. His drunkenness suddenly disappeared, pressing his inner cheek with the tip of his tongue whilst rubbing his hand over the reddened skin. You were so mad right now that you could set on fire the whole world.

And you were about to do it a second time when Lee caught your wrist in the air, painfully gripping his fingers around it to push you closer —chest against chest. Then, he raised his index finger. “Don' you fuckin' dare to try it again, y'hear me?”

You were furiously breathing, but not filling your lungs with air in reality, keeping your eyes on the blue ones that used to steal your heart every single day. It was like a contest of dominance you knew he always won. Any time.

Your husband didn't give you the chance to say sorry, slamming his lips on yours. A moan died in his tongue when it invaded your cavity while releasing your arm to fly his rough big hands to your ass, almost grabbing it all with his long fingers. Your digits went to the lapels of his leather jacket, not lasting too much there till finishing on the back of his head.

Lee was hungry for you, just like you were for him after two long weeks barely touching each other. Your husband devoured, sucked, and bit your lips, urging you to turn around enough to push you on top of the hood of his car. His hands pulled up the skirt of your dress, wanting to reach the waistband of your panties, receiving the great surprise that you weren't wearing any.

“You little dirty girl… Don' wantin' your Sheriff to lose time, uh?” He grunted with such an animal and eager tone, as he took care of the belt and the zip of his pants.

“I need you”. You sobbed against his lips, feeling his hands maneuvering between your legs.

At least, you were fast enough to cover your mouth with a hand when Lee rammed his rock dick into your soaked cunt, drowning in your palm a loud cry of pure satisfaction for being filled by your husband. Back and forth, he hit your body once and once, impaling you against the Ford still being furious by the way your father and friends treated him as if it was your fault. Lee was mad, really mad, digging his fingers in your hips to pin you on place and don't move, continuing fucking you harder and harder —challenging you to not be able to be quiet and make everybody heard how good he used to made you feel.

“Goddammit… you're so damn ti— tight, baby doll… So tight fo— for your daddy, ain' ya?”

“Yes… Yes, daddy”. You cried hiding your face into the crook of his neck.

His strong scent filling your lungs caused you to roll your eyes white, letting your soul leave your body while his cock attacked fiercely your pussy with no mercy. Your vocals were in sync with the screeching noise the car produced in every thrust straight to your guts. The pace was insane, intense than never before, and more pleasurable than you could imagine in your life.

Lee was aware how much you loved him, that you felt devotion for him. But sometimes —sometimes like those— he couldn't help but think he could lose you as soon as you realized who he was in reality. You didn't care. You weren't blind. You knew about his dirty laundry, his past, his sister (...). And you still wanted him with all your heart and body.

“Fu— Fuck, gonna put a… baby inside you”. He growled, wrapping his right around your throat to urge you to face him. “Y'want it, uh? D'you want dad— daddy to put a baby in that… beautiful belly?”

“Yes… please, Lee”. You whined with teary eyes, being too much pleasure for your body to handle. “Please, daddy… I wa— want you to… get me pre— pregnant with your child”.

Your husband's lips curved up in a petty smirk, pulling out from your dripping cunt, causing you to sob in disappointment. Lee managed to put you down on your shaky feet to turn you and force you to bend over the hood of his car. Ass upped, legs spread. He only took a second to stare at your glistening and abused folds in your arousal, prior to impaling you again. With a hand on your lower back and the other tangled in your head, your husband obligated you to arch your back as he continued banging your anatomy once and again.

At this point, you had forgotten your name, where you are, and if someone could hear how you cried pleased any time he crashed against your g-spot. It was a mix of pleasure and pain as Lee wasn't having any kind of compassion with your cunt, clenching unconsciously around his hard length. He knew then how close you were to cumming for him —because of him—, increasing the pace while you tried to find a place to put your hands on and find some balance to stay in place. As soon as the hand tangled in your hair landed back to your throat, you gripped five fingers around his wrist, enjoying the brief lack of air because of it.

“C'mon, my swe— sweet whore… Y'wanna cum for daddy, don't ya?”

His raspy and wrecked voice fell into your ear like an angelic melody, not being able to hold your moans anymore within your mouth. The knot inside your lower belly was bigger and bigger and suffocating, feeling how it could explode at any time. Lee shoved his cock non-stopping producing a sloppy obscene sound when his pelvis crashed against your ass, along the chink of his belt against the back of your thigh.

“Daddy… Daddy…” You called him while the tears started to fall again through your cheeks, this time, of absolute satisfaction.

You couldn't help but bite your lip strongly till the metallic taste of blood covered your tongue, letting yourself go as the knot bursted within your belly. The orgasm threw you above the edge with your husband's palm covering your mouth to not be heard or it would be really awkward to be caught by all the guests, even if he didn't care. He wouldn't mind showing that pretty boy from New York that nobody could fuck his little dirty girl better than himself. Oh, how funny it would be to see his face while your husband was ramming his cock into your abused pussy, cumming inside your tight walls, digging his teeth in your neck to mark his territory.

Lee came with a sensual and passionate hoarse gasp causing you goosebumps bristling your skin, burying himself balls deep to hold it inside the mix of your juices filling up your center. It felt like being in Heaven, although you weren't sure if you could walk after such an intense quickly, feeling your walls burning as his dick still twitching and stretching your cunt.

Your husband wasn't a man of kisses after sex, that's why he surprised you when tilted your face to his and pressed his lips on yours, panting, not caring about the lack of breath. It wasn't a lustful kiss either, more than a tender and fondly one, tasting your mouth, playing with your tongue.

Pulling out his semi-erection, Lee helped you to clean yourself with a tissue before using it to clean your arousal on him and toss it to the ground. As he put on his pants, you fixed your dress and your hair, turning around.

“You meant it?” You dared to ask, still having sorrow covering your voice. “Gettin' divorced… You mean it?”

“What?” He inquired, squinting confusedly until he realized what you were talking about. He chuckled holding your chin with two fingers. “You married me, darlin'. There's no other way you're gonna spend your life but with me. Willingly or not, you hear me?”

Lee raised both eyebrows very sure of his word before you nodded your head with a fleeting smile crossing your lips.

“Can we go home now…?”

“'S that what you want?”

You nodded your head a second time, while your husband placed his arms around you with hidden possessiveness to guide you back to your childhood's house. And of course, your father was enraged when you told him that you were leaving with your husband. He yelled at you and nobody tried to stop him till the moment he had the brilliant idea of pretending to lay a hand on you.

Lee punched him. Lee broke his nose. Lee made your father fall to the floor between the pretty boy's arms. And Lee never felt better in his whole damn life.

“Don't you ever come back to this house, if you leave now with this… bastard”.

“She doesn' need you”. Your husband cooed wrapping your neck with an arm, leaning slightly to borrow your purse. “Ma'am, my pleasure a see ya' again. The beef was delicious. G'night”.

You were yet processing what just happened, ashamed of the desire for your husband himself awakened inside you after watching him hitting your father. Lee could be a total asshole sometimes but one thing was undeniable: he loved you with all his heart and soul, he was obsessed with you since the very first time his oceanic eyes contemplated you walking down the street, smelling a bucket of roses you bought for yourself.

Never again you knew anything about your family. Not even when your son, called after your husband, was born. But you weren't sad. As Lee said, you didn't need them. You had your own family to take care of.

feedback is appreciated. if you enjoyed it, please leave a comment so i can know your opinion. reblogs are needed.

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[the-silentium]

Featuring a Cyborg and a Magician

Masterlist

Pairing: Bad Batch x Reader, Hunter x Reader, Crosshair x Reader

Words: 5667 words

Warnings: Kayden is a warning of his own.

A/N: Let’s have some fun shall we? I decided that now was the time to include Echo if I ever wanted to include Omega.

Taglist: @clone-rambles / @mandaloriandin / @apathetic-catastrophie / @jenstar1992-2 / @haloangel391 / @lightning-wolffe ​ / @cherrydemon5 ​ / @and-claudia ​  / @lackofhonor ​ / @gaymasonjar ​ / @depthsreturn ​ / @koskareevesismyqueen ​ / @leonidas-banana-phone ​ / @mangoberry43 ​     

________________

"Ooooh can I come on this one too?" Kayden clapped his hands excitedly like a child, his eyes wide in anticipation and nearly bouncing on his seat. 

As it turned out, taking him with you all wasn't hard. It only required a Batcher to have your wooden crest in their possession for him to be able to follow them in a 3 klicks radius and his presence on missions had helped on the two previous ones he slipped himself in. 

Retrieving heavily guarded data was a walk in the park when you could have someone walk in there like a tourist, search around for his objective while ignoring the commands of the clankers surrounding him and laugh as the friendly fire killed a majority of the enemy forces. 

He even managed to detonate a malfunctioning bomb by walking right up to it, press the button to blow up the whole base and pop back into the Marauder in a second, whistling like it was nothing. Correcting the error in the programming would have taken too much time and the chances of a Batcher being hurt would have risen exponentially with each passing second. 

He was a precious ace up your sleeves… when he wasn't a shit digger. 

Unsurprisingly, his not-so-hidden talent was to create chaos wherever he passed. It was true back in Alryan, it was still true in the Havoc Marauder. Many new rules were created to ensure that nothing too awkward happened and to keep a somewhat control over the situation. 

Rule number one: Kayden had to be visible at all times when in the ship, the only exception to the rule being when people outside the Batch were around. Two: the barracks were off-limits as he didn't sleep and there were established relationships aboard that liked to have their private alone time. Then came rule number three: do not be a nuisance. This command encompassed the pranks, the whining and the fact that he couldn't be seen or else the Batch would be in deep problems. 

"General Skywalker is a Jedi, Kayden. What if he can sense you? Or worse, what if he sees you? What do you want us to tell him?" 

Cody's debrief has been short and a bit too vague to your liking. Usually, he was more concise but then again, you've rarely worked with Jedis before. In the nearly two years you passed with them, it only happened once and it was a memorable experience. 

Watching those two peacekeepers fight from your seat in the Havoc Marauder left you in awe. Their movements and grace made a straining fight look so easy and- "Dunno. That he should stop doing spices?" 

Kayden said it with such nonchalance that you nearly got whiplash at how quick you turned to face him, although you did choke on air at the mere idea of insulting a General that can use the Force.

"No. You're sitting this one out. We can't risk blowing her cover if he can link you to her and Fors." Hunter intervened while getting his armor on, just like the rest of the team. 

"He could be useful during the recon part of the mission." Tech pointed out, adjusting his pauldrons. "There are still a lot of unknown variables in this operation and his abilities could be desirable on the field." 

"Yeah what he said." Kayden's arms crossed at his chest. You rolled your eyes at his childishness and finished strapping your custom chestplate on to get to your rerebraces and vambraces. 

"If you can refrain from pulling tricks on everyone and follow orders that is." Tech added with a heavy look. If it managed to get his attention away from his datapad, then it was a really important point. 

"I can do that." You would have laughed at how definite he sounded, but Crosshair beat you to it. 

"Right." The sniper sneered and you smirked. Now that he could get away with pretty much anything, Kayden often took pleasure in disturbing the grey-haired clone and rile him up until you had to intervene or Crosshair would blow a fuse. 

"You ass-"

"The answer's still no. We successfully completed missions with bigger holes in them than this one. We'll manage." Hunter put an end to the debate just as he slipped his helmet on his head. 

"Yeah cuz y'all like big holes, eh?" Since he was losing, he retreated to his old habits. You kind of felt bad for him. You knew he was bored of staying on the ship. Hells, even you who were the assigned pilot had more fun in this thin can because you could actually fly it. All he could do was watch all days long and wait all nights long. 

"Better stop talking now." Crosshair too slipped his bucket on and grabed his rifle for a last inspection. 

"Or you'll hit me?" Smugness dripped from each of his words, a daring look in his eyes. 

"Let's not get there, shall we?" You showed him the Core between your fingers, that he knew you could control his density with. Wrecker happily tested your theory a while back. 

"No thank you." Kayden conceded defeat, hands in the air and slumped in his seat behind you, arms crossed. 

________

The recon went well if you based yourself on the fact that everyone was still in one piece, regs and Batchers alike. There was no denying that you were worried Crosshair would cause too much problem to the boys in blue. It seemed like there was tension between them and your abrasive boyfriend, but nothing too dangerous.

As the Marauder's pilot, you stayed behind with the ship and by extension, Kayden, who whined the whole time about not being able to enjoy his time as a ghost. 

"I'm still young! Now's the time to enjoy myself! Not when I'll be an old rat like that chandeler."

"Chancelor." You'd correct him on the title, but not on the old rat. You had to admit that he did give off that vibe. As for his age, you actually had no idea if he was still aging or not. 

You admired your work, the ship was in order, every supply has been replenished in the boys' absence, the fuels tanks were full to the brim and all that was missing for the ship to be complete was the crew of walking testosterone. 

A couple of hours later they arrived and you fussed over them. None were injured, to your relief, and everyone headed to bed for a short night of sleep. Everyone who could sleep, that is. 

You knew it'd be awkward to have a Jedi on board so you geared up quickly, wolfed down your plain food that the GAR dared call a breakfast and put your whole armor on, deadset on keeping your helmet on until the mission was over. Not even Crosshair managed to take it off you for a kiss. 

"It'll be fine." He'd reassured you with that soft tone he only reserved for his time alone with you. The following keldabe kiss put you more at ease. 

The effect only lasted an hour. 

Shortly after, the General entered the ship with his Captain in tow and you set course on Skako Minor. 

You had managed to lay low for a good part of the trip with your Bad Batch fashioned bucket on and some good old shut-your-mouth. The boys at the back kept all the attention, Kayden remained invisible and civilized, while you navigated the ship alongside Tech. 

Everything was alright until you felt Skywalker's gaze taking you in, up and down slowly just like the two Jedis a year ago. He analyzed you the same manner they both did, with an attentive eye and- you couldn't see it but you were sure it was there- a small frown. Your heartbeat picked up again and you forcefully swallowed the lump in your throat. 

Tech's theory about your origins being somehow mixed with the Jedis' must be true to some extent. Three out of three force users took a special interest in you and you were sure what got their attention was the weird wave of energy traveling between you. 

He approached the front of the ship and you could now see his scrunched eyebrows, his head slightly tilted to the side, still trying to figure out what was special about you. 

Heat raised to your cheeks under your helmet, every muscle in your legs contracted to keep you from listening to your fears of being separated from your newfound family and run away. There was nowhere to run anyway, you weren't in the jungle anymore. 

Would he try to invade your mind like Wrecker said? Would he find out who you were? Stay calm. Keep your mask on like in the village and it'll be fine. Calm your mind.

After more than a year on this ship, you developed the useful ability to distinguish who was walking where with the mere sound of the person's steps. Each clone had a distinctive footstep and right now, it was Hunter who moved to your side to save your ass. The sore muscles in your legs started relaxing, followed by the drum in your chest. You'd be fine. Hunter will have it under control. 

Then, right before Hunter could intervene, General Skywalker suddenly gripped his shoulder in a hiss, freezing the blood in your veins. The man looked behind him to find no one close enough to have hurt him and flee. All the others were minding their own business, while Hunter was yet not within arms reach.  

"What…" 

"General?" Captain Rex inquired after he approached at his CO's sound of pain, the confusion on his features reflected perfectly the one on the brunette's face. 

The Jedi stood silent for a moment longer. You felt the energy around him shifting as he searched his surroundings for something. Please do not find him. Please do not find him! 

Thank the gods Texh was actually piloting the ship, your attention so completely focussed on the General that you could have rammed into an asteroid the size of a planet. 

"It's nothing." He shrugged it off and reported his attention on you. "I don't think no one mentioned a pilot. What's your name trooper?"

Talking to General Skywalker was inevitable and you knew it. You simply didn't think that you'd be stuck in a Kayden-induced stress while doing so.  

"Not a trooper, sir." You removed your helmet to show him what you meant and offer him a sheepish smile. "My name's Y/N."

"My apologies. I didn't know the GAR assigned civilians to trooper squads." Again, he eyed you up and down, but you kept your cool this time. He didn't seem to be able to find what was wrong and didn't force an access in your head. 

"It's rare but not unheard of. Her abilities with a ship made her a good match for our team and the," He paused to search for an adequate word. "Type of mission we usually do." Tech elaborated on your situation. 

"And what type is that?" Rex came closer to get a good look at you and even offer you a hand to shake. 

"Downright suicidal, Captain." You managed to genuinely chuckle while shaking his hand in a firm grip. "I'd recommend strapping in, the landing will be a difficult one." You announced as the first turbulence racked the Marauder.

You silently prayed that this situation with the blue-eyed Jedi would be the only difficult part of the mission. Helmet back on, you showed off your skills by landing the ship in a raging storm. 

_______

There was very little you could do for Echo without using the Core. After reading through the whole Forsian book about its powers, you learned that it could be used to heal dying planets and basically anything in the galaxy. 

Your desire to create or heal a planet was extremely low. However, your desire to heal your comrades was very high. Instead of creating life and whatnot, you used the Core to heal their wounds and keep them safe. So far, no one had been on the verge of death so the crystal passed its time tucked in your pocket that was now closed with a zipper to ensure that it did not slip out.

The book didn't tell whether or not using the Core affected the Force so you refrained from using the golden rock on Echo seeing as Tech and yourself highly supposed that it did, as it was said that the Force was connected to every form of life and the Core was the initial creator of life. There was no way you'd leave hints for General Skywalker to pick. 

Echo went off a while ago, looking paler than Kayden, to barge in a strategic debrief with too many Generals for you to ever consider following him. Now that the ship was only composed of members of the Bad Batch, reprimands were in order. 

"You hit the General?!" Despite keeping his voice down, the strength in his tone unconsciously caused you to press further into the cushion of your seat in the cockpit.

"I pinched him because he made her uncomfortable." Kayden popped on the Sergeant's left with a scowl of his own. To his credit, he did stay with you in the ship and followed Hunter's orders. You were sure he would have sneaked the crest on someone's backpack like he did on the very mission he attended. 

"I was going to intervene." You let them bicker, instead turning to Tech when his hand fell to your armored shoulder. 

"I get it that you've had another sort of connection with the General." His curious brown eyes met yours for a whole second. 

"Yeah. It was more powerful with him than with the others." You recalled, remembering how the dull hum between you and General Skywalker was way more significant than the one flowing between you and the two previous Jedis. 

"I highly suspect that the strength of the bond is influenced by the strength of the Jedi. General Skywalker is known to be quite strong Force-wise." He typed away at his vambrace too fast for you to keep up with his notes. Back-Up peered up at you with her dark eyes, her body wrapped tightly around Tech's vambrace to enjoy the warmth radiating from the electronics below the plastoid. "It seems like you can still feel a particular form of Force despite not being sensitive to it. Surely due to your legacy and your connection to the Core. It is the source of the Force after all."

You nearly yelped when a fist collided with your shoulder. Wrecker's playful punch didn't hurt as much as it scared the shit out of you. "Yes because she's a goddess!" 

You sighed at the perpetual reminder that you may or may not be as normal as you'd like to be. Wrecker's excitement was cute and all, but you wanted to be their equal, not some deity that could be perceived as superior or something. 

You knew your two boyfriends had been influenced by it at some point. He never told you, but you were certain Crosshair had been intimidated or would use the excuse of you being "better than he was" to belittle himself. He had started distancing himself a little, although you didn't let him the time to get too far and reassured him that you didn't care who or what you were, that all you wanted was to be his. Hunter found himself on the other side of the spectrum. He would often use the excuse of you being a "goddess" to worship you more than necessary. He didn't get it the wrong way like his brother, no, he used it to his advantage, whispering words of adoration and how he could venerate your body all day long. You blushed at the memory of your last worshipping session. 

"Am not!"

"You are!"

"Am not!" 

"You brought Kayden back! And you healed my blaster burn the other week and you helped that village on Ruusan when their entire crops have been destroyed by the clankers!" 

You bit your lip at the reminder of what you did. Tech had been against your intervention, saying that miraculously reappearing crops would be awfully suspicious and could be easily linked to the team. You'd listened in the beginning, but as the day passed, you noticed more and more people hurting from hunger. Kids who couldn't understand why they couldn't satisfy their rumbling stomachs cried their hunger, mothers did their best to not seem affected but from a sharp, adult eye, their suffering was clear. 

You weren't an idiot. New crops didn't magically grow back in under a minute. No, deep down you wished that there was a nearby undiscovered meadow, hidden in the dense vegetation, where juicy fruits grew in the trees and small preys liked to play. Edible fungus pullulated through the grass amongst the root vegetables that were already ready to be harvested. 

It had been 100% unintentional. You'd thought that this could have been a good idea and the next thing you knew, a kid came back running with two round fruits in his hands, holding them like they were treasures and claiming that there was “infinite” more. Needless to say, the kid's overstatement gave you a heart attack and won you a lecture by not only Tech but Hunter too. Up to this day, you never regretted accidentally helping them. Not when the kids were cheering in glee at the food and the moms were relieved to the point of spilling some tears. 

"She's a what who did what?" A voice rang out from the Havoc Marauder's entrance, sending your heartbeat and body heat through the roof. 

Echo stood there in his new armor, courtesy of Clone Force 99's armor surplus from when Tech developed your own custom model, a deep frown deforming his tired features. 

For a split second, everyone stood there, frozen in place, until Crosshair harshly pulled the clone inside and hit the buttons near the door to lift the ramp. Should have done that sooner. You could at least be relieved that he was alone and not accompanied by either his Captain or General. 

"Who's that?" Echo added once he realized he'd walked in a confidential conversation and that everyone was wracking their brains to find a suitable lie. His features hardened from confusion to suspicion as he shook Crosshair off his arm and stood straighter. 

Kayden, who was still poking Hunter's chest plate, clapped his hands once and kept them pressed together. "No one." There was an awkward pause as he met yours and Hunter's gaze and turned to Echo with a wink. "Don't do spices." He uselessly added before vanishing. 

The gloved hand flying to your forehead was purely unintentional. Idiot! 

"What was that?! Where did he go?" The clone took a step backward, his eyes moving around frantically. 

"He's- eh-" Hunter was the first to attempt to defuse the situation. He was a good liar. Knew what signs to avoid, how to keep his vitals as normal as possible and had quite a quick reply. The thing was, Echo had had enough time to see that Kayden wasn't just the fruit of his imagination and the moron even talked. The alarmed expression on Wrecker's face wasn't helping either. 

Considering all the factors, you decided that Hunter's lie would not do. "Echo, calm down. Let us explain." You abandoned your seat to get closer. 

"How can I trust what you say when you hide things from the GAR and that- the man that was there- he…" He tripped on his words and guilt washed over you. The poor man passed years at the Techno Union's mercy, was brainwashed, butchered up and patched back up with mechanical pieces. He was already lost and confused and what he overheard wasn't helping. 

"Big words coming from you." Your jaw tightened as soon as Crosshair cut him off, the toothpick between his lips moving from one side of his mouth to the other. 

Echo bristled at the attack. "What does that mean?" 

"You've been a Separatist puppet for quite some time, selling the GAR every time you could. Now, how do we know you won't be selling us out?" He grabbed his toothpick and threw it with a flick to the white and blue chestplate before you could even lift your hand to stop him. 

"I wasn't in control! I'd never betray the GAR and my brothers!" 

"Cross, stop." You put yourself between the sniper and the once reg, your right hand falling on the grey plastoid to keep him at bay and maybe calm his arrogance. You knew his whole demeanor was because he was worried you'd be taken away if Echo decided to report you and what happened with Kayden. You were worried too. Scared even. But it wasn't Echo's fault and you couldn't hold it against him. Talking about such things when still on base had been stupid and reckless. 

Crosshair didn't meet your eyes but you knew he'd not interfere when the muscles in his neck relaxed. Your hand fell to your side and you turned to Echo. "My instinct tells me that you're trustworthy, so listen. What I'll tell you must not be repeated outside the Marauder and to no one else."

"Y/N-" Hunter tried to talk you down from telling the truth, a hand softly grabbing on your shoulder to catch your attention. 

"It's alright. Echo's a good one." You smiled warmly at the tattooed clone. "I'm not a goddess," You shot a look at Wrecker who nodded his head in contradiction. "But I can create some things at will. Like crops and such." You intentionally forgot to mention the Core. You trusted your gut, but let's not forget that the Lumsins fooled you once. "And the guy you saw was Kayden. He's- eh…"

"Your brother." A voice rang out from nowhere and everywhere, scaring Echo who jumped and hit a console with his elbow. 

Silently wishing he did not hit his funny bone, you continued. "Adopted. But yeah. He's that. And he's technically dead." 

His eyes grew wide and once again, he seemed to struggle to find the right words."Wh- Did you say dea-" 

Sharp knocks on the side of the ship cut the conversation short. "Permission to get in? I hope you're all ready in there!" 

Everyone straightened, multiple pairs of eyes fell on the 501st trooper to see how he'd react. Against a majority of the expectations aboard the Marauder, Echo kept his mouth shut. 

"Of course General! Sorry about the ramp!" You answered the man outside the door before quickly glancing back at Echo. "If you keep this for yourself, I'll explain more later." You promised and even offered your hand to seal the deal. 

After looking at the boys behind you that you were sure looked back at him with hard looks and maybe some distrustful gazes, he nodded once, shook your hand and stepped aside so you could lower the ramp for the blue Captain and his General. 

"Welcome back." You smiled before hurrying away to your seat, away from the weird buzzing energy that roared to life once the Jedi walked up the stairs.  

______

Flying right towards a Separatist fleet messed with your nerves. Even though you'd previously mentioned trusting the robot-clone, Kayden could easily feel the doubt snaking its way into your mind. Despite everything, you remained calm and focused on your task. As soon as the droid called your permission to land on their big-ass ship, the brunette felt a new wave of pride wash away your worry. 

He had to admit, so far your guess had been right. The clone kept his word and didn't mention Kayden or the fact that you were a goddess to any of the men that radiated authority more than testosterone. Because yes, you were a god damn goddess despite you denying it like a vegan that claims to have never cheated on their crazy diet. 

So far, you were the only member of the Bad Batch who trusted Echo. Even Wrecker was still torn between accepting the new guy or following his brothers' judgment. As usual Crosshair was nasty towards everyone, Hunter was more on his guard than anything else and Tech, well, Kayden didn't like feeling Tech's emotions. They were so fast and too much was happening at the same time that it gave him terrible headaches. From the look he exchanged with Hunter, though, it was easy to tell how he felt about Echo. 

Guess they're like that for every outsider that joins the bubble, Kayden thought. He watched as you landed upside down under the belly of the cruiser and gave your signal to the rest of them. 

Time to go! 

Sneaking the crest into Wrecker's backpack had been terribly unchallenging. Everyone was concentrated on the mission or on Echo, leaving him all the time in the world to fetch the necklace from under your pillow- yes, he wasn't supposed to be in this room but who listens to rules anyway-  pass through the barracks doors and discreetly make his way to Wrecker. No one saw the flying piece of wood and now he could get off this damn ship and maybe even enjoy his time outside. 

Kayden jogged and ran with the group, staying invisible for any mortal and mechanical eyes. He watched as Echo proved his loyalty to the Republic and got zapped when he pushed his luck. 

So far, he'd been pretty disappointed. He thought a cruiser this size would swarm droids of all sorts, giving him some reason to be out and about. Then Skywalker ran away and the action began. He didn't know if he still had veins and adrenaline, but Kayden felt a surge of energy flow through his whole being. Let the fun begin!

He walked two corridors down so he would not be seen by Rex still following the Bad Batch and messed with the droids' internal circuits. He discovered that his new ghost status allowed him to disrupt electronic systems. Tech wasn't too happy about his learning method, but it was a necessary process.  

To his delight, the droids fell like flies under his ministrations and he got to return invisible before the clones even turned the corner. He waited for them, leaning onto the wall with a smug grin on his face. Hunter will love this. 

"What happened here?" The blue trooper's steps faltered as he took in the scene. Hunter shook his head with a low grunt while Tech crouched to assess the nearest robot. The Bad Batch already knew what happened, but needed to put on a show nonetheless. The wave of displeasure radiating off every single one of them minus Wrecker nearly made him laugh. 

"They seem to have malfunctioned, somehow." Tech provided his best half-truth. There wasn't time to ponder more on the matter as more droids marched their way and thus, Rex accepted the explanation and passed to the next problem. 

"There's too many of them!" Kayden scoffed at Rex's statement. Not for this team, bud.

To Kayden's joy, Wrecker got into position. This was his cue. 

"Mind a little help?" He smirked at Crosshair who was currently sniping through his body to hit some targets behind him. From his place right over the corner, there was no way Rex could see him. It wasn't the case for Hunter. 

"Hell yeah!" Wrecker cheered before charging the first droid. 

"Kayden, no." Hunter growled so low he nearly missed it. 

"Kayden, yes." He laughed as he popped at the other end of the hallway filled with droids. Wrecker charged at the B-1s, quickly making his way to Kayden's position as he walked between the yellow robots and worked his magic. 

He was taking down his 7th victim when movement and loud approaching steps caught his attention. A large pile of droids charged his way and would have knocked him over had he not made himself intangible. 

He couldn't control the laugh bubbling out of his mouth at seeing Wrecker throw the droids everywhere. Since the last enemy standing was shaking in fear, Kayden took it as his cue to disappear once more. 

"I heard someone." Rex peaked in the scrap-filled hallway, his head moving right and left to try and identify what caught his ears. 

"Wrecker?" Hunter asked with an impeccably innocent voice. 

"No, not him. It was a laugh. But it wasn't Wrecker." The man was on edge, his senses alert and gun at the ready. 

"Didn't hear anything, Captain." Hunter turned to meet Echo's frowning gaze. Brownie points right there! The peak of gratefulness escaping the long-haired clone was subtle, just enough to breach through his irritation. "Perhaps a defect in your helmet, sir." 

He knew he'd be in trouble later but it was worth it. Doing nothing on their ship was boring him out of his mind. Maybe he should ask you to get him some wood and wood scissors so at least his nights would be interesting instead of playing with his thumbs and doing castles with the toothpicks he found here and there. 

Kayden stayed behind with Crosshair, still invisible to not disturb the guy. Not that he cared, but he was curious to see how the small mirrors he threw on the walls would help. Knowing the sniper, they were all placed perfectly where they should be even if the pattern seemed random. 

He may not like the hard-ass clone very much, but he wasn't ashamed to admit that his skills were impressive. They got to the infiltration point where the others were waiting, Skywalker amongst them, and Crosshair got into position. The thought of moving the first mirror passed through Kayden's mind and prickled at his fingertips. 

Hunter was a nice target to pick on. Crosshair, not so much. 

The mirror stayed in place, allowing Crosshair to execute his awfully impressive shot and take down every single droid marching their way. Without an ounce of doubt, Kayden knew his face was mirroring Wrecker's. 

Back in the ship, it didn't take long for Crosshair to find the crest in Wrecker's bag and shove it into Hunter's hands who closed his fist around it. Oopsie. 

You piloted the ship back to the GAR base and gracefully landed in the hangar, something Tech never learned to do or didn't care to execute. 

Rex and Skywalker exited the ship, the rest of the troops slower to follow. 

"Nice job cyar'ika." Hunter carefully touched your helmet with his, once the two men walked out. Both your foreheads touched for a whole second and Kayden felt the bile rise in his throat.

"You boys did all the work as usual." You laughed, your hand lifting to cradle the side of his neck. 

From his invisible spot near the door, Kayden saw Echo do a double-take in the corner of his eyes before following Rex down the ramp, Wrecker and Crosshair behind him. 

Hunter threw the crest in the barracks, clearly hoping to keep Kayden in the ship while they had to follow their superiors. 

Joke's on you! Kayden internally laughed as they stopped within his 3 klicks radius and received their praises.

Just because you were there and still felt uncomfortable whenever weird people with weird energy were around, he remained from doing shits around the hangar. Then it was time to pack up and go. He did look forward to being visible again, it did consume more energy and was a bother to not be able to pull pranks as he did before, but he could interact with people and it was worth it. Hunter's lecture would be a hassle though. 

Maybe he should look around for a crate to push on someone before the fun time was over. 

Echo, who apparently decided to trust you all despite not knowing the whole truth about you and him, joined the ranks of the infamous Clone Force 69. Watching you all salute, Kayden entertained the thought of kicking Crosshair behind the knee and admire him stumble to the ground. As hilarious as it seemed in his head, he couldn't find the courage to do it. 

You all got in, Wrecker removed his armor, Hunter disappeared in the barracks, Tech helped you pilot and Crosshair hovered over your seat. You removed your helmet and briefly smiled up at him. He kept watching you do your stuff until the Marauder was in hyperspace and the autopilot was engaged. 

Echo was still looking around, wondering what to do with himself. Kayden walked up to him, still too ghostly to be seen and waited for the right moment. 

You stood up to smile once more at the grumpy clone. 

"Now kiss!" Kayden loudly broke the silence as soon as he made himself visible and scared the cyborg. He closed an eye and moved his fingers so he was pushing yours and Cross' heads towards each other.

"Why are you the way you are?" You rolled your eyes with an exasperated sigh and moved around Crosshair to get to the barracks with the sniper in tow, a too familiar glare hardening his gaze. 

"Do not make fun of me because I was dropped!" Kayden laughed at your retreating forms. 

"Wait… I thought she was with Hunter…" Echo trailed off, confused. 

"She is! But she's a girl so she's predisposed to love triangles. Ya know, like in their anatomy. Boobs, south pole. Triangle." He traced a triangle in the air, using your body as a reference. 

"And wh-who are you again?" Echo inquired, frowning too deeply for his fragile features. 

"The Dimwit." He winked with the most suspicious grin on his lips before vanishing into thin air. 

Echo ran to the cockpit and stayed close to Tech for the whole evening.

[silverisbestboy]

Sonic Boom x Reader

Requested by @blackace1993: Conversation was accidentally deleted but from what I remeber of it, they wanted hc for the Sonic Boom characters who has a partner who frequently gets into trouble and/or captured by Eggman. They didn't specify which character they wanted so I just did all of them minus Tails. Hope you enjoy!

Sonic:

There's no denying it

Sonic was smitten

The moment you set foot on the island Sonic was taken aback by you

To him, you were drop dead gorgeous with a great personality so I guess you could say it was love at first sight for him

This boy is a fool for you

It's actually quite funny watching him zip across the island at the slightest remark that you need something

"Man, you what? I'm feeling kind of hungry"

"Say no more!" He'll say as he zooms away and reappears seconds later with a chili dog in hand

"Uhhhh"

But, unfortunately for you, being in any sort of relationship with Sonic is not wothout complication

Eggman sees you as a new oppurtunity to best Sonic and ends up taking you hostage on a regular basis

The first time it happens, Sonic all but destroys Eggman's fortress looking for you

But after it continuously happening, it starts getting kinda old

"Greeting Sonic! I see you've come to rescue your little girlfriend"

"Yeah, yeah. Can we just we just get to the part where I clobber you?"

It gets to the point where Sonic starts teaching you how to defend yourself so you can hold your own against Eggman

Not that he doesn't mind rescuing, it's just he can't always be there to protect

With the amount of times they've had to save you, the team are already very familiar with you and consider you apart of their friend group

But as you get better is self-defence, Sonic officially announces you as part of the team and you start joining them on missions

While Sonic does tend to stick to your side more than his other teammates during battle, he's glad to have you fighting alongside them

After all, he's happy to spend as much time with you as possible, even if that means having to bash Eggman's robots to do so

Knuckles:

You're not a bad person

So what if you have anger issues

So what if you get into fights from time to time

So what if you've been in trouble with the cops before

Doesn't mean you're a bad person, it just means you've.... got some issues

One day you're not in the best mood and have already had a pretty shitty day, and you're just a ticking time bomb waiting to explode

So it's no wonder that when a big guy bumps into you and causes you to drop the tray of food you're holding, you go off on him

Unfortunately for you, this guy is huge, a tall red echidna with bulking arms that looks like he could punch you into next week

But you're not one to back down from a fight, you've beaten up guys twice your size before and you're not afraid to do it again

"Woah, hey, sorry about that, didn't see you there."

What, is he dense?! Who does this guy think he is barrelling into anyone he pleases just because he's big? You bet he was just gonna walk off without even helping you. Well, you'd show him!

Without warning, you lunged at the echidna with the intent of knocking him over the same way he almost did to you

But you underestimated his initial strength and reflexes and he caught you midair with your legs kicking and your hands clawing for his face

"Woah, dude chill! I said I was sorry!"

He just kinda holds you up in air at arms length with you kicking and screaming until you eventually tire yourself out

The echidna stares at you cautiously

"Are you good now?"

After a moment, you reluctantly nod, and he gently sets you back on your feet

He then carefully leans down without takong his eyes off you and grabs your burger which is still wrapped in foil and reaches it out to you

"How about we start over? I'm Knuckles."

You thought after that encounter, that was the last you'd see of him

But one day, you've gotten yourself into another fight, and to say you're losing would be an understatement

It's once again, a guy twice your size and he's absolutely beating the crap out of you

But by some miracle, Knuckles happens to be walking by and immediately notices you

He steps in to save you, and the guy you're fighting knows about Knuckles being part of Sonic's team and doesn't even bother attempting to fight him

Knuckles takes your half conscious body to Tails's work shop where they fix you up

After that, Knuckles refuses to leave you alone

Even if you try to leave, he always ends finding you to make sure you don't get into more trouble

He helps you find outlets for your anger by sparring and working out with him

You grow a soft spot for Knuckles that you'd never thought you'd have for anyone

He's your big goofball that somehow always manages to calm you down and get you out of whatever trouble your in

Though it's beyond you why anyone would want to put up with you, eespecially a lovable ray of sunshine like Knuckles, you're so grateful that you have someone like himin your life to keep you in check

A/N: Might make more hcs for that because I absolutely love the idea of big, strong goofball Knuckles having a little ball of pure rage as a partner.

Amy Rose:

Some would say you're a pacifist

Some would say you care too much

Some would say you're too nice

But you like to think that you're just trying to do good in the world

You're definitely the type of person that hates conflict and wants everyone to get along, and you're more often than not a bit of a pushover

You like to give people benefit of the doubt and prefer to see the good in people, although sometimes, this affects you negatively

A kindly looking (or at least in your opinion) wolf with a showman's top hat and a certain glint his eyes one day stops you in your tracks and asks you ever so politely if you would kindly lend him some money to help feed his family

Of course, you're quick to help, but little do you know that this is none other than T.W. Barker himself, and he's been watching you carefully for some time

He notices the way you jump at the oppurtunity to help someone in need, and he being a con man at heart, decides to take advantage of that

But before you can lend the man all the money you have in your pocket, a certain pink hedgehog decides to interfere

"Hey, you leave her alone Barker! Go find your own ATM machine!"

Amy Rose herself stands not far behind you, hammer in hand and ready for trouble

"N-now, now, let's not be too hasty. I was simply accepting a generous donation from this unsuspecting-- I mean self-less young lady."

"Yeah right. Beat it before I hammer you into next Tuesday, punk!"

You're in utter shock as the seeming wolf in sheep's clothing (pun intended) makes his escape

"Gotta look out for scumbags. Seems this village is getting more and more of them everyday. Anyways, I'm Amy, what's your name?"

Since then, Amy keeps a close eye on you to make sure you don't become prey to anymore scam artists

Now Amy will never admit she has anger issues, but she does get... irritated from time to time

On more than one occasion, you're there to help her calm down and have a sleepover planned or a spa day for when things get particularly rough for her

Whenever she needs help choosing which paint to redo her wall with, or which dress she should wear to a party, she calls you up, because no matter what you're interests are or how inconvenient the timing might seem, you're ready to help a friend, even with mundane things

Amy has you become a part of the Sonic family, and while you never do join them in battles, you help keep the peace between the team whenever there's an argument

And Amy always makes sure your overly caring attitude isn't being taken advantage of

No matter the time or the place, Amy knows she can always count on you, and you know she's always got your back

Sticks:

Well this is quite the predicament you've gotten yourself into

A lot of people would descibe you as clumsy, but you knew you just bad luck

And to prove just that, here you were dangling upside from a rope trap after deciding to take a liesure stroll through the forest

What are we, nomads? Who sets out traps in the middle of the woods anymore?!

After about 20 minutes, the blood is rushing to your head and you're starting to feel faint

But just as you think that your bad luck will finally be the end of you, figure bursts from the bushes with a fierce battle cry

It's a badger girl with a boomerang clutched in her paw, ready for a fight

But after a moment she realizes just who's gotten caught up in her trap

"Hey, what's the big idea?! Why're you in my snare?"

"Why am I in your snare? Why did you put out a snare you loon?!"

After about 5 minutes of arguing, Sticks reluctantly cuts you down, begrudgingly explaining that she set out a trap for any woodland monsters

You run into her again on another walk, crossing a small stream before tripping on one of the stepping stones and almost falling in before a furry arm wraps around your waist

"You outta be more careful out here. The wilderness is no place to be a klutz."

"Hey, I'm not a klutz. I just have bad luck is all."

And what more to gain the attention of a superstitious badger than the possibility of supernatural forces at play

"You could've been hexed by a witch. Or worse, there could be a vengeful spirit after you! We gotta get you an exorcist!"

"I'm fine, I'm just unlucky. Always have been always will be."

"We should still burn some sage in your home just to be sure."

You let Sticks do what she wants with you, after all, her superstitious perspective is a nice change from everyone just thinking your clumsy

You think her attempts to "cleanse" you are endearing, she tries something new everyday, and you end up learning a thing or two about survival and the corruptedness of politics from her

Weeks later, her attempts slowly dwindle down, and she just comes to accept she's just gonna have to keep an extra close eye on you, especially when she sets out booby traps

The time y'all have spent together, although it was somewhat motivated by Sticks not wanting to get whatever curse you exposed her to, lead to y'all having a close bond

Everyone has their quirks, she's paranoid and you're clumsy, but you two always manage to work things out

And that's the beauty of a relationship

A/N: Sorry I haven't been that active lately, so take this as an apology. Four hcs for the price of one!

[yanderecandystore]

Can we have the s/o in the old eldritch one get pregnant n stuff

Oh well, it seems like the antichrist will be born-

Well not literally, but kinda.

I think… That maybe I should warn y'all about some possible disasters.

Tags?/Tw??: size difference boo; curious eldritch boy; illusions; apocalyptic world; also mentions of other entities and some of the events that happened in A Bad Dream. Also I'm a dumbass who should have took some medicine instead of writing while having a headache.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Golden Years [Yandere!Eldritch x Pregnant!Reader - Short Fanfiction and possibly a follow-up story]:

It's been five years since the Earth's sky has been broken apart. The red clouds above form a connection to the other world that creatures like him came from. A portal, in a way.

To humanity, this was the end. But to them, it was the beginning of something.

Something interesting.

Not every single entity on Ibu's home was on Earth of course, it's a really small place for so many cosmic entities. And it is not like all of them have an interest in this small rock, only a few, like Ibu himself.

Always the curious one. Most would consider him naive, and possibly childish, if the "concept" of children was commonly known throughout his "brothers and sisters".

He was only a couple of stars old. 687 stars have been born and have died throughout his entire existence, to be exact. Which was pretty young compared to his "peers".

Not that they really cared about keeping up with their age, it was mostly used to devalue each other's nonsense. Someone around his age would be considered foolish regardless of what his morals and ethics were.

But he doesn't really care, he prefers to take his time and learn than pretend he knows everything in the universe. He enjoys being curious the way he is, is more fun to learn about things if you truthfully explore them.

And learning about humans while interpreting to be one is probably the best form of learning he could have ever found!

It's extremely exciting to him, in five years he has learned so much. He learned that humans fall easily into his illusions, that humans are small and easy to carry, that even if a human is in his illusion they won't notice the odd feelings of being high up or being held by bigger hands, oh! Humans are actually pretty warm, and that their living habitats are tiny but he can kinda squeeze himself in.

Which isn't the most comfortable thing, but he knows how to deal with it.

He learned that humans call each other by names depending on their relationship status and how much a human cares for them. He learned that humans are fragile, and that they like small things, and that they-

Oh, it's just so many things you know? He could keep going on, but it isn't exactly human like to point out obvious things like that.

You told him that. You've been really helpful with helping him understand your kind better.

His companions don't really agree with his actions. While he is playing "dollhouse" (he saw small humans doing this ritual of playing with inanimate objects and pretending to have an "a family", he found that so fascinating), his peers are doing more "fun things".

Like slaving humans, or executing humans, or trapping them in pocket dimensions, or adding them to their ever growing collection (like a friend of his who is obsessed with collecting life forms), or destroying everything and everyone that they meet in the way, like his sister!

She showed him a big wall the other day, it was bigger than any human, or even house. They both didn't understand the point of such obstacle. She said it probably took centuries to put it up. She simply smashed it down like it was nothing.

He doesn't know why she does these types of things, but she still finds enjoyment in doing them, so he would just let her have her fun.

She tried to convince him to give up on understanding you and just let loose, as humans would say.

But, he doesn't find it fun at all. He tried it once on a really annoying human, he thinks it was your mate.

He can't remember for sure. He tries to forget unpleasant things. Yet, he still remembers that day.

Could you stop it please? It's getting annoying.

There he was, the annoying human, and some others trying to… Hurt him? He doesn't understand what they were trying to do, whatever it was it wasn't as effective as they thought it was. They were clearly aiming at his eyes, but it only made them itchy.

You never stop, do you?

At that time he didn't remember that they couldn't understand him. He was getting angry, and it seemed normal to speak in his own language rather than communicating on yours.

"- Hey… What is happening love?" You asked him, poor thing, he wondered what you could possibly be seeing. Considering his illusions were really effective on you, he assumes that you were only seeing your husband and a bunch of pricks trying to hurt him.

In your eyes, he looks like your true husband, and your real husband feels like a stranger. It's all that he can do for now, interpret your old mate.

Also, love, you have some bad taste at picking partners, this little human seems a little too possessive, don't you agree?

Of course there are a couple of rebellious humans, trying to survive and fight for their freedom and what not. He really wishes he could care about them, but honestly, how can they expect to win a "war" that is not even happening?

It's not a fair fight anyway, so why bother so much? And also, they don't even know that the most important part of "killing" one of his kind is completely destroying their mask. Which is close to almost impossible.

Honestly, why even bother…

"- L-love? Are you okay?"

"- Yes, don't worry about it." He learned how to perfectly imitate the other human's voice. It's not exactly a difficult thing to do, especially for the likes of him, but hey, he thinks he deserves some praises for doing it.

Anyway, they thought that they could have a chance against him. And although he wasn't looking for a fight, he almost did kill them out of rage.

While holding you in one hand, he made his way towards the crowd shooting at him. One little slap to the ground was enough to shake it and unbalance them. It's kinda silly from his perspective.

How bothersome, if I take these would you stop?

He took and broke (although accidentally) the guns in his fingers. He was actually planning on studying them but, oh well, he can always ask you later about how they function.

Even when he already lost, your ex partner still tries to pick up a fight. It's taking every fiber of his being to not put this insufferable little creature into an everlasting nightmare in his pocket dimension. He picked the annoying one up, while the others were trying to pick some extra equipment they brought.

It wasn't so difficult to trade places with you, but if you keep acting foolish, I don't think you'll exist for too long.

Yelling, after cursing, after more yelling, some crying in the mix. Ibu can't be bothered right now, you two were just going back home.

Can't a being tall as a building go home with his tiny mate in peace? The world has already ended, so why bother stoping him from living his own immortal life?

"- She doesn't love you, and ya know that."

…

Oh.

…. Oh…

"- Excuse me?"

"- Oh! So you can speak now-" He yelled after hearing Ibu speak in his own language. That prick heard every bit of suffering that he put him through, yet-

"- Repeat." Ibu already knew what he said, he just needed to hear it, again...

"- What?" … Just to be sure…

"- Repeat." … That what he heard was correct...

"- … What if I don't?" … And that he had a free pass...

"- … What would your intestines look like if they were pulled from inside out?" … To lose his patience with this one.

It seemed like he could "let loose" this time around.

If only he had payed better attention at you instead of that insolent pest.

He had closed his hands a little too harshly at that moment. Even if it was unconsciously, the damage was already done.

He closed his hand, and accidentally (he swears it was an accident!) Broke one of your legs.

He dropped the other human at your sudden scream. The low sound of something breaking wasn't really reassuring.

I mean, two legs were broken that day, yours and your ex lover's. But he didn't care about the other one, so let's ignore his screams of agony-

To his sister, breaking one of your bones wasn't exactly the worst possible thing that could happen. Actually, if it was her the one holding you, she would probably do that intentionally.

As to her, it was fun to hurt humans like you. But to Ibu it wasn't, it was terrible! He really didn't mean to.

He was plagued by the sudden feeling of guilty overflowing him. It was probably the first time he ever felt like this. It was probably the first time he ever apologized for something.

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm so sorry please shhhh I'm really sorry I'm sorry I'll fix it I'll fix it I'm sorry I'm sorry

Woah, that was… A terrible experience even remembering gives him headaches. And he shouldn't even have headaches! Stress can lead to his mask breaking.

That would be really unfortunate.

You didn't seem to remember what happened the day after, so he had to help you get better slowly. I guess another thing he learned in these five years was how to fix human bones.

But that was in the past, right? It didn't matter now, right?

Yeah… It didn't… Mattered.

Or it shouldn't. He never really relaxed after that incident.

Not only did he feel incapable of taking care of you, as he started thinking a simple blow of wind could make you fall. But he also felt on edge whenever he remembered those words.

" She doesn't love you."

That shouldn't have been so impactful as it was. Maybe he truly was too soft. He knows better than to listen to the delusions of that man.

He knows that you love him. He knows that! He really… He really hopes he knows that.

He really hopes it is true.

You started acting a little weird recently, he doesn't know how you're feeling and what you are thinking, so he started feeling like maybe you don't love him…

You normally made calls to your friends, although the telephone hasn't been functional since four years ago, since if you truly were interacting with other people there could be a chance of you breaking the illusion. You would tell them what was on your mind while you thought he wasn't listening.

You haven't written in your diary, you haven't made any recent notes on your phone or computer, and you haven't told him what you were hiding.

He wouldn't know how to react if you decided to get away from him. He would probably put you inside his pocket dimension, or probably take you to his own world.

No… That place is too dangerous. What can he do??

He was sitting on the sofa contemplating this last few weeks you've been acting differently. And that phrase keeps popping up in his mind, and is starting to make him sick.

And the thought of you being sad or mad at him from when he broke your leg is starting to eat him from inside.

What can he do-

"- Love? Are you okay?"

"- Oh, don't worry about it… I'm just thinking about some stuff."

"- Is it related to work?"

Oh yeah, "work", he kinda hides outside the house whenever you think he is at work. Even if he wanted to experience a job for the first time and know how humans function under social stress twenty two hours a day through five days, each every single week, there weren't any jobs available.

As more than a half of the population was gone or dead.

"- Yeah… It is." He learned how to deal with this type of question. He saw a lot of tv shows with you, and they all mentioned how jobs are essentially torture chambers that suck the energy out of humans in exchange of money.

Those shows weren't lying or exaggerating, right?

"- Well, I… I think you should relax, and maybe take a break, I never saw you taking a vacation, maybe this is a good time, love."

"- Yeah…. I would love to spend more time inside." Although he literally just watches you doing mundane things all day everyday, because to him all of those things are incredible and breathtaking.

"- I… I have something to tell you…" You seemed a little concerned, was something wrong?

"- What is it?"

"- H-here." You were worried that his reaction might be a little negative, or not as excited as you were. He works every single day, you feel like this type of surprise you probably make him worry more.

But then again, there wasn't really a way to keep this a secret. You're still wondering how hasn't he noticed your belly or your morning sickness, but you also didn't think it was because of pregnancy, so, I guess you're both equally naive?

He is looking at the pregnancy test, not knowing it's a pregnancy test or what pregnancy even is. So he doesn't really understand what it is until you say it out loud.

"- I'm going to have a baby, love."

He is still visibly confused.

"- A… Tiny human?"

"- Pfft, yes! Of course it's a tiny human. Oh gosh, how can you be silly in a time like this."

Yeah, he is a riot, isn't he?

Stars, help him understand what is happening, please.

"- That's kinda what I like about you, you know? You're funny, you never take anything too seriously." You tell him, being fully honest.

His presence feels comforting in a world so serious and dull.

He isn't aware of how to feel, he is confused and extremely excited about this revelation.

Would the baby be human? A hybrid of some form? Would it have his own features? Would it have a mask? Would giving birth to them possibly break the illusion?

He should consider all of the possibilities but… He is just, so happy! This the weirdest most confusing experience he ever had, yet he is absolutely delighted by this outcome.

He loves you so much, he really does, and he knows that now. He knows that this is a proof of love, that there is absolutely nothing that can separate you from him.

You two would be spinning around the living room, full cliche style.

Although, again, he doesn't really fit in the living room all that well. So he can't really do that, but you get the sentiment, right?

Stars, this is perfect, absolutely perfect.

"- I love you [Y/N]!"

"- I love you too, Cameron!"

It's been five years, and yet you kept saying the same name over and over again.

At first he didn't mind, it was a nice sounding name. But as time went on, being called by your ex's name is starting to become troublesome.

"- Maybe I can fix that later." Maybe he can drop the charade and give you one of his many names.

Having you call him "Ibu" would be so special to him.

"- Hun? What do you mean?"

Oh nothing, really.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

[warm-starlight]

Before this arc I would've never thought that so many people would support and promote genocide and even celebrate such a fucked up thing to "save humanity" and that it would even make a character more popular because of it like, how?? I get it, humanity can be cruel and messed up, but to murder EVERYONE because of it really ain't it, at this point Eren might as well be a modern teenage titan Hitler, except that people are now simping for him smh... I kind of wish this series would've been just about humans vs titans or even humans vs humans like in season 3 and having the series end with them seeing the ocean or something, if only cause I really miss the time where the fandom was mostly on the same page and making memes and getting along (sorta *cough*)

I wonder when and how all the yeagarist suddenly changed their minds and said "fuck the alliance, the need to die. Go chad Eren!" Like did they read and watch the series with blank faces whenever the other characters had their moments and jumped on the opportunity to possibly see them lose or die or did they actually like them, but the moment they said fuck genocide they went "y'all are delusional lmao" and start hating on them?

Especially since it didn't even seem like Eren was THAT popular before as Levi and Mikasa were stanned and thirsted over by basically everyone and even Erwin, Hange, Armin, Sasha, Jean, etc. were/are fan favourites... so what exactly happened there? The majority of the Japanese fandom seems to be pro Alliance, its the western fandom that is super split on the whole Yeagarist vs Alliance war tho... I wonder what Isayama thinks about all of this and whether it might influence his decision on the ending or not, probably not but idk it's wild

Sorry for that salty ass rant btw, I've never actually interacted with the Aot/Snk fandom before and all these fandom wars, character and irl people bashing and overall toxicty really caught me off guard ngl

Eren isn't doing the genocide to save humanity. He is doing it to protect his homeland and basically because he thinks he deserves the whole world for himself and his people.

I think the themes SnK is exploring is actually pretty interesting. Globalism vs Nationalism, Nihilism vs Existentialism.... Thing is, Isayama made the whole "Eren had no other choice" plot point unrealistic and forced and it's why i find so hard to get behind Eren. There were other, mpre viable options that would of course require sacrifices, but not nearly as many. Eren chose the Worst option of them all because he couldn't take any risks or make sacrifices. He chose to sacrifice all those he has Zero emotional connection with instead.

Somehow some people feel more "unique" if they support a guy with questionable morals. Those "good guys" everyone likes are boring haha.

Idk why that is but a lot of people seem to root for villains in the stories. I guess it's because they can relate to them more? I kinda think people who support Eren are young, like 13 to 15 on average. I can't imagine any person older than 19 would root for him. Of course there are always exceptions.

Anyway, i rambled too much haha.