first art post of the new year!!! granted, i don't share my art here that much anyway, but– shhh.
hehehehhhooo,, here's something i've been working on for 'bout a month,, albeit not consecutively– took a few,, very very long breaks in between working on this,, but i managed to finish it in the end! am i satisfied with it? .......ehhhh? not completely, but if this took any longer, it might not have seen the light of day, so like. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
anyway,, made a little poster for my favorite fic, tommyinnit's services for villains, vigilantes, and various other vagabonds, by @scorpionoesit!!! it's really really good,,, and i've always wanted to make more art for it,, so i decided– poster! at least,, that's what it's mean to resemble,,, dkdmkdmdkd.
i will freely admit,, i'm... not the biggest fan of the fan-made logo i tried to design for it,, feels a bit boring, and could definitely have used a bit more pizazz, something to make feel more like the fic itself(what does that mean? you figure that out),,,, but– again, steam was running low,, dkdnksjs. graphic design is my passion. i do also have other complaints, but i'm afraid i already punched my one-use self-critique card,, oh well,,, dkdnkxjdkd.
regardless,, even with the flaws only i can really see,, this still turned out pretty okay!! hope you enjoy it, mx. scorpio and mx. alibi!!! and i hope everyone else has a wonderful new year!!!!
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the deeply dispiriting feeling of being told that a handful of friendly strangers in a shared community would like to be part of a group you've proposed, only to hear from none of them and still be the only person in the discord you created when invites are about to expire almost a week later, leaving you paranoid and wondering whether you set it up wrong or just haven't received any kind of acknowledgement because they saw the work you put in setting it up and all realized you are way too much
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An open letter, to everyone from this afternoon's meeting:
Christ a-fuckin-live, yes, I do think all these redundancies are really necessary! It's not even that many redundancies, are you fucking joking, I'm not asking for a full and proper PACE plan (yet! not yet but oh you best bet it's coming, you idiot bitches give me a contingency inch and I will take a save-your-ass mile) it is literally training one extra person for each task. One! Do you know how close to the bone we are already running. Do you know the cold sweat that haunts me. One single solitary contingency! I am here begging bare-bellied for the meanest of scraps and you're interrupting me. You are swinging over the gaping abyss of absolute moronity and as I hand-tie the slimmest of career safety nets beneath you, you argue with me!
Every month we voluntarily take our entire system down and hard reset it, because the tooth-grinding inconvenience of a controlled descent is better than the comminuted fractures of a natural crash, but if you would rather the broken bones, that can certainly be arranged. Every day someone asks me to hunt down direly-needed information, and I burrow weasel-like through digital snowbanks until I find the problems and crack their spines between my teeth. Would you like to see how I do it. I have built checks for unreturnable queries into my daily routine, do you think that is a standard practice? It would literally be easier for me to let them break and frame a different one of you for each failure than to continue maintaining them all. If you really want to know about most efficient use of time, I will show you the math. It will look very like the forked end of a crowbar, and I will gladly give you a thorough breakdown! That said,
Please fill out the highlighted lines on the attached form. Your supervisor has been copied on this message. Thank you for your support.
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finally broke into one of my new syringes (still have some old ones, but figured hey i should try them for this shot)
Tw for bitching abt medical shit/my injs below the cut
and i just. why is my doc intentionally making this harder. I ask for 3ml syringes bc it's what im used to and know how to draw up. She agreed to that, so i never checked my new ones bc why should i? she listened, she sent in for 3mls, right?
NOPE. fucking 1 ml which means figuring out the draw up has required online searching to make sure it's right, and bonus! everything I've found doesn't recommend it for T bc it's such a slow inj to begin with, and 'many feel it takes longer to inject in smaller syringes designed mainly for IV use, which lessens compliance with injection schedules in some'
And i hate how it looks. it looks like so much more, and i know that's stupid bc it isn't, it's the same amount as usual, but the sight of it is v much involved in me getting my injs done with my fear of needles. I know, again, I KNOW planned parenthood is dealing with not enough funding, hands on staff, etc, but does that really prevent you from listening to your patient and trying to help them with shit like this? bc i don't think it should. I'm still forever grateful they've been helping me keep my T going until I find a primary care doc, but at the same time...what the fuck? I said this would be an issue, and i need to stay with my usual supplies. If that was an issue for them, i was willing to buy syringes myself from the medical gear shop I've used for extra supplies before (that will ship out here, I've checked.) Why won't she just fucking. listen, and talk to me? if all she could do was 1 ml syringes, fine, BUT FUCKING TELL ME THAT BEFORE SO I CAN JUST BUY MY OWN
Like. I will get this done. ill use these crap syringes up bc I refuse to waste them.
But now I'm overly nervous and worried im gonna fuck it up with the new syringe, or that it will hurt more or take even longer to inject than usual, so my hands are too shaky to do it! im already a day late with it, and I'd bet ten bucks I wont be able to calm myself enough to do it until tomorrow. Yes, this is also autism bs of needing things the same but like. I've had to do a lot of adjusting since last year, and have made efforts to accept changes and sporadic things. it's been hard as fuck, but I've fucking done it. so why can't i have one fucking thing like this stay the same? just my inj supplies, that's it! I'll accept and deal with other changes but for fuck's sake, she KNOWS I'm nervous abt fucking up my injections (bc i always want them to go well so i get as much med in me as i can, with minimal tracking out after it), why the fuck wouldn't she at least tell me if she was limited in syringes/what she can rx?
Why don't docs listen when i talk, and why won't they just talk and be honest with me like a fucking adult. is that honestly so fucking difficult?
Apparently so 🙃
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