#but i don't wanna work the day after a holiday so instead

[irregulargnoll]

I think my steam deck will get here tomorrow, aka the first of my 8 (possibly 9) work days in a row

[simp4konig]

Halloweens with König headcannons 🎃🍂

Gender-neutral Reader

*Slow burn

Word Count: ~3246

*FLUFFFFFFF😿😿💖✨🩷🩷💘

*Soft König☺️ (but also König is a smug bastard + asshole 🙄), Established relationship, Single mention of (ambiguous) age gap 😮‍💨

🧡Happy Halloween guys!!🧡 I don't celebrate Halloween myself , but im feeling 😈in the mood😈 so i hopw this can suffice for this ooky kooky spooky season 😰😰

Gos i wanna kms ive veen so uninspirws AAAHAHAHAHDHDHDDH this is literslly. Me rn--->💥💥💥💥💥🙂🔫 fuckijg FINALLT GOT sometjing OUT 🥳🥳 rest asusred iwont kms i need to finish my rqs first ☺️💖💖✨ i will feel SO euphoric when all the WIPS will become Completed Works !! 😍😍Im just gonna not post until i gdt smth donw bci hate giving false promises its the same as lyijg,🗿🗿

Tag List ♡ @simpforkonig ♡ @abysslovesyou ♡ @puff0o0 ☆ @rustic-guitar-notes ☆ @happy-mushrooms ♡ @reyner-lee ☆ @lotionlamp ♡ @trepaika ☆ @luci4theminorannoyance

...

König wasn't really one for Halloween.

Hadn't ever been, really, as he hadn't been raised to celebrate it.

In his household, he hadn't had much exposure to the Western "Hallow's Eve".

Besides, even if he was familiar with the tradition, his parents didn't bother celebrating those kinds of trivialities; after all, they certainly weren't going to bother wasting hard-earned money on trifles like pumpkins, just so they'd rot on the front porch, or candy that would rot your teeth, or on vulgar masks that depicted serial killers and monsters, too blasphemous to bear.

Plus, his neighbourhood didn't partake in "Trick-or-treat'ing" at all, and wouldn't leave any candy for any children — wouldn't do anything, really.

Nobody decorated their house with ghouls and ghosts, nobody dressed up as vampires or murderers, nobody jumped from behind corners to shout "Boo!".

None of that, as these ideas were childish. Infantile. Juvenile, even.

Thus, October 31st, König's Austrian villiage was quiet. So eerily quiet you'd had thought it was a ghost town had it not been for hundreds of cloaked figures in the cemetary — as, for König, "Halloween" tended to be a more sombre occasion in comparison to the American/English versions.

Instead of running around and knocking on people's doors with a broad, lopsided smile like other children ought, he was brought along to visit the graves of his family members: graves of his ancestors, which he'd be told about in detail, details of the person buried six feet under the stone slab; information and stories passed down from generations.

He would be taught to honour those deceased in his family and respect their memory, to remember those in the afterlife and what they sacrificed to get there.

Carrying a lamp, he'd light candles on those decrepit gravestones, text faded and illegible, while his parents left boquets of flowers, and pulled up their long black cloaks. Silently paying their respects.

While it wasn't necessarily a day of mourning — König never needed tissues to wipe any tears or blow his nose, and neither did anyone else in the family — it was far graver when compared to the Halloween holidays elsewhere.

However, König's memories of Halloween were few, far, and in-between.

Whenever he'd hear of other people's experiences, he was never nostalgic, as, the times that he did attend those familial ceremonies he was either too young to understand what was happening, or knew too little of the deceased[s] in question to be moved by the heavy atmosphere.

Not only that, but the time period was overwhelmingly solemn, with people flooding the burial grounds, some murmuring prayers, others with tears in their eyes.

There was no laughter, no treats, no fun costumes. Not even tricks. Just suffocating depression all around.

So, he didn't really associate the celebration with something to celebrate: what, celebrating the deaths of your family? That was quite morbid, when he thought about it, and he wasn't going to dedicate an entire month every year to remind himself of death with so many other operators around him falling on the battlefield, and having had faced the grim reaper himself several times already.

Hence, every 31st of October, he did nothing. Didn't acknowledge it at all.

But all that changed one fateful day in September. When he finally acknowledged it, all right (with a little of your help of course)!

You had asked König in passing if he had considered dressing up as something for Halloween. Maybe what he had considered doing on the evening. Or if he had plans to attend the autumn fair sometime soon.

His response? A blank look. Distant recognition.

For a quiet moment, you thought he was scowling at you, silently ridiculing your childish suggestion.

Then: "Halloween? Ah!" An amused chuckle, endeared by the child-like curiosity in your eyes, and a silent sigh of relief from you.

"I don't celebrate it, myself, meine liebe. But you're welcome to tell me what your costume is. I'd love to hear all about it, maus."

Mortified by this revelation, you couldn't let this go.

"What do you mean you "don't celebrate it"? You have got to be joking!"

Wide eyes, and jaw agape, you were in disbelief.

He simply shook his head with a strained smile. "I've just never seen it as something to celebrate, you know? No reason to."

Taking it upon yourself to prove him wrong, you wasted no time converting this skeptic into a believer. "Oh no, there is. I mean, it's Halloween! Everyone is crazy for it!"

Suddenly, your eyes lit up. A wave of adrenaline crashing into you, you tugged König's arm in direction of the couch.

"That's where we'll start! We're gonna watch Halloween! That'll surely get you in the spirit."

You winked at him, satisfied. Then, a sudden snort and a suppressed chortle, hand cupped over your mouth as you laughed at your pathetic attempt at a joke.

König cocked his head to the side in confusion, but let you hastily scramble for blankets, pillows, and to microwave bowls of popcorn, as he made himself comfortable on the couch cushions that sank in protest under his weight.

Initially, he was reluctant. Not necessarily looking forward to being forced to watch movies from the 80s–00s, over-the-top movies with subpar acting, to say that he was looking forward to it would have been a stretch.

However, seeing how passionate you were about the holiday, your interests, König didn't want your sweetness sour.

Yes, he was a little older than you, and perhaps didn't grasp what there was to fuss over, but he wasn't about to spoil your good mood, or dampen that excitement just because he didn't personally understand or was interested personally. He wanted to make an effort, for you.

Vowing to take part in your silly shenanigans, he swore to become involved in the festivities in order to see you smile. To keep seeing you smiling.

After that, every October evening you'd watch a movie — a (usually) corny horror classic, though spending most nights binging all the Screams, Halloweens, Chuckys, The Shinings, Saws, and Evil Deads, — huddled under moutains of blankets and stuffing your faces with toffee-flavoured popcorn.

Watching horror films with him was like being lectured on common-sense and taught self-defence lessons in real time, though. Not like you minded, but it really got rid of the edge and the tension in its entirety.

Instead of paying attention to the storyline, it's more likely König would catch on to the stupid decisions the characters and the shitty attempts to fight back, and he wouldn't be able to help commenting:

"Why did she leave the knife in him? In his abdomen, of all places? Now the murderer has a weapon! Should have taken it out and left him to bleed out. But noooo, nein, leave the knife there."

"Going into the forest on his own? In the night? With a killer on the loose? Mein Gott, he is such a dummkopf! Bring a friend, why don't you?"

"Liebling, why is there so much gore? Isn't this rated "15"? Wait, and why is there a lady with no shirt? This is supposed to be scary, ja? I'm very scared. Scared you'll slap me, actually, if I don't keep looking at my lap."

Angrily ranting at the television, you'd gently reassure him, that, "Sweetie, this is fiction. Sometimes, the scenes are unrealistic." "But it said "based on real events"! I swear, liebling, if I watch another ten minutes of this I'll have a headache. I can't comprehend the stupidness."

Tough crowd, that couldn't really immerse himself in the plot, but you took a note or two for the sorts of horror movies König wouldn't dislike.

Although he insulted all the characters for being stupid and ridiculed all the characters for being so brainless, he would begrudgingly admit that he enjoyed the movie, pointing out some of his favourite scenes.

Self-aware comedic slashers meant he could suspend disbelief and laugh out loud a little, while, movies with an omnipotent monster meant he couldn't criticise any inaccuracies. He didn't winge at those as much in comparison to major blockbuster films. In fact, he even preferred low budget movies, ones that were pure comedic relief and so self-aware that he wouldn't be able to help but laugh along, unable to hide his amusement.

Afterwards, at exactly midnight, you'd be huddled together in the dark under a thick blanket, gorging your mouth with sugary sweets and bite-size chocolates (also indulging in chocolates that were far from bite-size), giggling like lunatics (well, that was mostly you, but König joined in to keep you company).

Later, face serious, with a torch under your chin, you'd be whispering hushedly with a tone of foreboding, voice low, and words ominous:

"Drip. Drip. Dripping water. She had checked the bathroom taps, the kitchen taps, and they were twisted tightly closed. A leakage, perhaps? Or, perhaps, something else. As she roamed the corridor, the drip-drip-drip of liquid grew louder. And louder—"

"Ah, she should call her plumber, then, shouldn't she?" A sure shit-eating smirk that was obscured by his mask, but the way his eyes were squinting you knew he was taking the piss.

Of course, storytelling was not as haunting as you would have had liked it to be: König would interject, interrupting the aura of mystery and the medatitive atmosphere, with sarcastic remarks. It made the narrations really melodramatic in the end, and frustrated you to no end.

Still, you would groan, and, undaunted by his immature antics — as, mind you, this was a grown-ass man, a 6'10 wall of muscle messing around like this, teasing you not like the cocky Colonel he was but a snarky teenage boy — continue:

"—she walked on — despite having been rudely interrupted moments prior — and her heart sank. Blood. A puddle of it, on the floor, looking like gallons upon gallons of it had—"

"Maybe she was — ah, what's the word?" A thoughtful pause, hand where his chin was under the fabric "— menustrating? Was she wearing white pants, maybe?"

"—Menstruating, König — and stop ruining my horror narration! Now I've lost the plot! Okay — against her will, her eyes moved up the wall, following the dripping blood. To her horror, it was coming from the attic. Swallowing the heavy lump in her throat, she pulled open the hatch with jittering fingers, grip slackened by the warm sweat on her palms, knees threatening to buckle. And, when the trap door released, she gasped. Blood draining her face, she saw—"

An exaggerated gasp from König, as he clasped his hands over his mouth in mock shock. "She— she saw— your mother! Mein Gott, the horror!"

"Shut up, König!" An annoyed huff, and shuffling away. "Honestly, you're such a killjoy..."

König, scooping you into his arms when you turned around with crossed arms, pouting lips, and furrowed brows, nuzzed his masked face into your neck, chuckling heartily. You squirmed under his hold, fabric tickling your sensitive neck, and you'd desperately hold back your giggles, trying hard to keep a straight face.

"Ja, ja, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Es tut mir leid, meine Liebe. Please keep going. What did she find in the attic?"

"No! You made me forget the grand reveal, now! I forgot what was up there, anyways..."

Walking around the house, you'd have the fright of your life when a huge shadow would jump in front of you at odd hours of the day.

"Boo!" König's voice resounded, loud and reverberating.

And you screamed, damn near verging on a heart attack.

"Shoving" him in frustration — you became actually even more frustrated when the man was like a solid wall and did not even budge a millimetre — König was quick to console you.

Doting over you, a wide smile on his face that the mask couldn't hide, he would be so overly lovey-dovey with you in an attempt to win back your affection that you'd roll yours eyes so far they'd end up in the back of your head.

"Meine liebe, I'm sorry for scaring you. I couldn't resist. You'll forgive me, won't you? You will, right? Please say yes."

You insisted you would, seemingly unassuming, then schemed to startle him at odd hours of the night as payback for losing your dignity in that moment.

At one point, you had even waited half an hour in the wardrobe while he was showering, only to jump out and see König in only a towel.

Yeah, you were the one that got jumpscared instead, face erupting in red despite you two being together for months at that point. You gave up trying to spook him then, bitterly accepting defeat.

Though, going along with your silly little activities, like going shopping for Halloween decorations, made König's heart swell seeing you bounce around excitedly and point out all the ornaments.

He didn't quite consent to you buying a life-size skeleton to call him Greg and place him in your shared bedroom. That was one step too far.

Still, seeing the wonder on your face, in awe of all the masks, costumes, decorations, and animated mannequins that'd cackle after triggering their mechanisms made his steel-blue eyes soften, melting into pure love and devotion for you.

So, to humour you one day, and to lift your mood after scaring you that one morning, König made two eye-holes in a white blanket, running after you around the house, almost tripping over it in his haste.

"Ooooo-ooo!" he moaned in over-dramatised agony, voice low yet playful. "This is not König, but his ghooost! Run, liebling, or you'll be neeext!"

Hearing him say that in his Austrian accent was so hilarious that were tears running down your cheeks from how hard you'd be laughing, and your sides splitting with the laughter, struggling scramble away, giggling.

Those moans of agony would become genuine cries in pain when he'd accidently hit his head on the doorframe when he forgot to duck in his excitement. The one time that bulky helmet of his could have come to use.

Despite all that, you'd be cornered against the wall, with nowhere to run, and König would pounce, tickling your sides viciously.

That broad smile on your face and the expression was worth fooling around and making a fool of himself.

He even didn't mind having you coo over his "injury" just like how he had when he was doting over you, because he loved you so much.

And, he loved you so much, that he even allowed you to "decorate" his gear. "To make it appropriate for the spooky season!" you had insisted, and he'd comply, not wanting to dull that sparkle in your eyes.

So contented with painting an intricate monster on his mask with fluorescent orange paint, you didn't notice König watching you hunched over the desk from behind, leaning against the doorframe with a loving smile on his face.

You hadn't expected that he'd wear that gear on base — veil, knee pads, helmet, and all — strutting his stuff. Just to remind everyone that their Colonel had a lovely spouse back home.

What you hadn't anticipated was how quickly König would start enjoying the season. Unexpectedly, he became obsessed with Halloween — his favourite tradition, second only to Christmas.

Carveling hollowed-out pumpkins of all shapes and sizes was one of his favourite past-times.

You'd think that with his size he'd struggle to cut through the orange crust without crushing it into pumpkin-coloured mush in his fists, but you'd be forgetting that he was skilled with a knife.

That said, König wasn't artistic. At all. The best he could produce would be a lopsided smiling caricature of... something. A nondescript creature, which you had complimented him on being so cute, only for him to angrily insist that it was an evil monster, and not cute at all.

Still, you would snap a picture before he could object, and give this pumpkin the spotlight on your front porch, soon many more following suit. Jack'o'lanterns illuminating your front step, glowing gold.

The sweet scent of cinnamon, ginger, and vanilla extract filled your house, new freshly-baked treats from the oven laid out on the kitchen island daily.

Delicious aroma of sugary pastry, homemade banana bread with small hints of vanilla and sprinkled with icing sugar, candied oranges and sour, sherbet lemon cakes, crunchy cinnamon sugar pumpkin seeds ("Made from the pumpkin guts!" you exclaimed with a smile of pride, König's eyes smiling in delight of your enthusiasm).

Crumbly shortbread in the shape skulls and bats, round cookies with orange and black icing resembling pumpkins, sponge cakes that oozed thick raspberry and strawberry jam when you bit into them ("Because they were bleeding blood," you proclaimed, a devilish smirk on your face — or, something like it, as to König you were the cutest angel he'd had ever been blessed to be around), and so, so, so much more.

So much that your weekly trips to the supermarket became biweekly, until you two found yourselves stocking up on sugar, flour, eggs, and butter far too often to keep track of.

The house was so inviting, especially to little ones from the neighbourd, that their mouths were agape and their eyes sparkled as they passed your "haunted house", holding the hands of their parent(s).

Mentioned in an earlier post that König has a soft spot for children, he'd stock up on Halloween candy and treats, and lug bucketfuls of sweets on the doorstep for any little ones that'd knock on your door to cheerfully cry out in unison, full of glee: "Trick or treat!"

He'd welcome them with open arms, but, with most of them being so little, they'd point with bulging eyes the giant on the doorstep, to be harshly reprimanded by their mothers and fathers for their ignorance and rudeness.

Few would say much after seeing König the giant, and after daring to scoop a handful of confectionary, bowing their heads and avoiding his eyes would mumble a shaky "...Th-thank you, s-sir—!"

One of them, however — a little girl with rosy cheeks donning white stockings and a gold tinsel halo — beamed brightly, albeit shyly, at König, thanking him for the treat and his generosity. An innocent, toothy smile that made her squint from how high it reached her eyes, her front baby teeth missing.

When she had her back turned to you two, she ran as fast as her chubby little legs could take her, and exclaimed, "Mommy! Mommy! That giant is a big and friendly one! A big, friendly giant. Can we go again, please? Please?"

It was only when you nudged König with your elbow, grinning, when she had skipped happily away, that he had realised he had tears in his eyes.

Moreover, maybe the memories König had of Halloween weren't so cheerful, or ones even worth remembering in the first place; after all, his childhood wasn't so cheerful. Joyless, and with little life.

But, with the way that Halloween was shaping up to be, he was already looking forward to the special celebration.

So full of life the you two were, you would laugh at the irony — animated and living the dream, while celebrating the day of the day. It brought you two to more laughter.

And, with you, König could make new ones, ones that you'd look back on fondly years from now, and those grueling months on deployment.

...

Note: Went off experience here for the beginning, guys🫡🫡 for the mowt part i have never celebrated Halloween😰 only a couple times in Poland, and once in England when i drank tomato juice and prwtended it was blood and i was a vampire🤪,

, but I Googled "Halloween in Austria" /Germany" to clarify whether I wasn't just speaking outta my ass and König here would have celebrated it differently to how I had in Poland 💀cuz, yknow, im not egocentric ajd the world doesnt celebrate things the same way Poles do 😘...

...And, no, I wasn't !☺️✨✨(... sort of😅... As far as I know, Germany has adopted the West's Halloween, ans theres pumpkin carving competitiomsn stuff, while Austria does indeed celebrate it slightly differently) .

Because I have no fuckijg idea of König's nationaloty anymore as it KEEOS CHANGING, I got the vest of both worlds 🥲🥲

Also been really busy guys😰😰😰by busy i mean stressing out ovee not writing then proceeding to NOT write bc im stressed❤️❤️🥰 you know jow it is!! 🤗(🔫) its ok tjo❤️(no it isnt) ill work tjis oit somejow🥹(no i wont im gonna kms) 🥰🥰

Have a very spooky halloween guys<3Feel bad foe those that are buying candy bc not onky is it smallwe than last uear but its more expensive 💔😟

[mxstellatayte]

pretty please: chapter two.

pretty please masterlist.

chapter two warnings: covid happens :(, avoiding big emotional conversations, phone sex (not graphic,) i definitely deleted any and all covid social distancing rules when i was writing this but it'S FOR THE PLOT, oral sex (f receiving, not graphic,) LEWIS IS SUGAR DADDY!!!!!!!! (but there's also feelings but we don't want to admit that yet hehehehehehe)

chapter two word count: 3.7k

taglist (crossed out means i could not tag you/no blog was found): @pear-1206 @vivi-81 @irishmanwhore @lucycowr @benstormy

@anat33-blog1 @Xoscar03 @tremendousstarlighttragedy @nenamalenaa @champagneproblems17

@marknolee @toby33b @theendofthematerialgworl @soloqualcosa @sassyinchident808

join my taglist here!

take my hand while we dance on the edge of a knife

tuesday, 3 december, 2019

your phone chimes in the formula 1 radio tone, a custom ringtone you'd set just for lewis. glancing away from your computer screen, you see a simple text.

Hey.

what should you say? "hey yourself?" no, too sassy. "hey, thanks for the mind-blowing sex a few days ago. i think i'm into you, do you wanna go out?" way too forward. "hey!" too excited.

you settle on a simple "hey." in response.

for good measure, you add on a second text.

Thanks for the flight yesterday :)

his response? a simple "Yeah of course!"

"alright. so i'm going to have to be the one to bring it up. gotcha."

so this was the dance that you'd be doing. you'd just move on from the most life-changing sex you've ever had with four texts. you'd take a step forward, try to ask about what this would mean for your professional relationship, if anything, and he'd have one-sentence answers before moving on to a different topic.

that's fine.

it totally didn't make you insane.

definitely not.

instead of thinking about your client-slash-friend-slash-maybe-fuck-buddy over your winter holidays, you opt for drowning yourself in advance work, opting to make your contributions to the february 2020 issue the best the world has ever seen. your articles for the january issue are long submitted, but now that you've submitted everything for finalization for the next two months, you have a staycation at home with your cats, crochet, shitty reality tv, and a lot of alcohol filling up your schedule for the next two weeks (and a short visit to your parents up in leeds for christmas, but that's naught but a short interruption to your routine,) and you don't intend on letting work interrupt a single moment of the next two weeks.

the key word in that sentence being intend.

although, is it really considered work if it's just texting back and forth with someone who's a client-slash-friend-slash-maybe-fuck-buddy and not exactly a coworker?

"girl, i swear down on my nan's grave," amelia begins, and you grin, already knowing you're about to get a true amelia lorenz lecture, "if you don't make a move on him before new year's, i will, and i don't think he even knows my name!" she continues by weaving an intricate web of every single sign she's seen that points to the mutual attraction between yourself and the driver, and you're not sure when the right time is to tell her that you've already had sex with him. luckily, you find an opportunity when she stands from your couch to refill her glass of whiskey and pauses her monologue.

"is now a good time to tell you that we shagged after abu dhabi?"

amelia's head whips around so fast you're surprised it doesn't snap off of her neck. "you what?" you grin sheepishly, any and all confidence you've ever had in your entire life having evaporated in a microsecond. when she sits down opposite you on the couch, her left leg tucked into her crotch and her right hanging off the side, she has to set her glass on your coffee table so that she doesn't splash the whiskey everywhere. you both know what's coming purely based off of her body language. she takes a deep breath, then presses her hands together in a prayer-like stace and rests the nook of her nose in her fingertips. "let me get this straight." she pauses. "you." her right hand points directly at you as she says your full name. "shagged the lewis hamilton. and you didn't tell me immediately?"

"why do you think i wasn't on the flight back?" amelia's eyes widen in realization, and a grin spreads across her face.

"he flew you back on his jet?" you nod, taking another sip of your drink, and amelia squeals with delight. "i need every single detail. start talking."

friday, 13 march, 2020

your phone vibrates on your desk, and you glance over at it, unlocking it when you see the f1 logo on the notification. your heart sinks when you see what the notification reads, though.

"formula 1, fia and agpc announce cancellation of the 2020 australian grand prix"

"shit," you mutter, switching your phone off and resting your head in your hands. it won't be long before the lockdown reaches london, you know that, but it's difficult knowing that lewis was looking forward to being in the car again, especially with some of the new regulations that he hoped would lead to closer racing.

you send him a text before you go to sleep- it's almost 3 am.

Sorry to hear about the race. I know you were looking forward to driving.

by the time you've fallen asleep, though, lewis has seen your text and he gnaws at his lower lip, his thumbs hesitating over the keyboard of his phone's screen. yeah, he was looking forward to driving, but as the pandemic numbers increased, his anxiety about the race weekend did, too.

Thanks. I'm glad they called it off, though. The numbers were getting too high too fast.

months pass. your interviews with various drivers at the monaco and british grands prix are moved to video calls. the world gets thrown into lockdown, eases out of it, and then gets thrown into lockdown once more. dolphins are spotted in the canals of venice. george floyd's murder sparks a revolution that reaches all corners of the globe.

you don't go a day without texting, calling, or video calling with lewis.

it's sickening, really, how much his smile is keeping you sane. well, if you're being honest, it's a combination of his smile, your medication, and going on a lot of walks around your neighbourhood. leytonstone is a lovely part of london, yes, but there's only so many different routes you can take around the neighbourhood before you start itching to jump on a train and go anywhere.

in early june, you get the email. you'll be traveling to silverstone for a set of interviews with various drivers for the 70th anniversary race. it's the fifth of seventeen races on the updated calendar, and the email states that you may be sent to the abu dhabi grand prix, as well.

wednesday, 29 july, 2020.

you're practically vibrating with excitement as you board the first of four trains that will take you to your hotel. you're leaving a week before you're due in silverstone, though, because why wouldn't you take advantage of the double header race? you've never been to a race purely as a spectator and your giddiness makes you laugh. how going to a race has given you the butterflies in your stomach that you haven't felt since you were a teenager, you'll never know. sure, with the fia's no-spectator rule, you aren't really sure how people are planning on watching the race, but you're sure you'll learn as the weekend progresses. either way, you're one of many fans taking the train up to silverstone despite the rules stating that no fans could enter the paddock or the grandstands, many hopeful that simply being in the same general area might get them a chance of seeing any of the drivers in person. a few of the racing fans on the train even recognize you, one timidly holding the july 2019 edition of vogue.

the edition where your first interview with lewis was published.

"could you sign it?"

your jaw opens and closes beneath your mask a few times before you're able to regain your composure, accepting the magazine and sharpie from her with a smile.

"what's your name, darling? here, sit with me." she does, sitting across the aisle from you and nervously tucking a curl of ginger-brown hair behind her ear.

"kathleen. but you can call me kat," she adds, and you smile as you write a small note on the inside cover, adding your signature afterwards. "are you interviewing lewis hamilton this weekend?"

"i don't have any interviews this weekend. just next weekend." you look more intently at kat's outfit, and you smile below your mask. she's wearing a mercedes hoodie and baggy jeans, and you notice that her outfit reminds you of someone. "i like your outfit. it reminds me of some of lewis' outfits, actually." kat beams beneath her mask, her eyes scrunching up into happy crescents.

"thank you! he's kinda the inspiration behind my outfits for the weekend. i'm a huge fan of him, have been for years. i'll be honest, i didn't read much about fashion until you interviewed him, but i really liked your article and looked up some of your others. the one you wrote critiquing paparazzi for stalking celebrities was incredible! you wrote it so freely. i loved it." kat catches herself, noticing her rambling, folding her hands in her lap nervously. "sorry. i talk when i'm nervous."

"you have nothing to be nervous about. i'm just another human being." you hesitate a moment, leaning over to her as you pass the magazine and sharpie marker back. "can i tell you a secret?" she nods. "i was terrified the first time i interviewed lewis." kat's eyes grow wide, and you nod. "i was so nervous. i almost got sick a couple of times, actually."

"really?"

"mhm. i'm surprised i didn't."

"i definitely would."

"i doubt that. lewis is as nice- if not nicer- than he seems. after the first five minutes of talking to him, i knew i had nothing to worry about."

the two of you spend the remaining time on the trains talking together, and she animatedly drags her father towards you and you shake his hand, introducing yourself.

"pleasure to meet you. my name's dan. thank you for being a role model for my little girl." your heart swells with pride at the praise, and you nod.

"you're raising a very fine young woman, dan. she's got a bright future ahead of her." dan nods and thanks you, grinning behind his mask. you know, from what kat's told you, that dan has been a fan of formula 1 since the michael schumacher days and that he's been to three grands prix in his life- silverstone 2003, silverstone 2004, and germany 2008. this'll be his fourth. you also know that the white and papaya t-shirt he's wearing is from the most recent race he's attended. "do you happen to have instagram, dan?"

"i do, why?" his eyes narrow slightly, and you can understand why your question seems a little strange.

"i'm writing a piece about fan presence at recent grands prix, since there's been the 'no fans allowed inside' order from the fia, and would love to interview you and kat before and after the weekend," you lie. "i'd be willing to keep you both anonymous, if you'd like. if i can message you on instagram, it wouldn't be as much of a hassle as writing emails to communicate."

"i'd prefer we remain anonymous, but i'm sure she'd love to be interviewed."

you can't tie me down, but you can tie me up

thursday, 30 july, 2020.

the next morning, you call lewis, the hotel's breakfast menu next to you on your bed and your notepad perched on your lap, your pre-weekend "interview" with dan and kat in just over 90 minutes. lewis picks up the call on the third ring.

"hey!" you have to bite your lip to keep yourself from smiling too much, a rush of dopamine flooding your brain at the sound of his voice. "can i call you back in half an hour? i've got media stuff to do in about five minutes."

"i'll be fast. can you get two paddock passes made for sunday under the names kathleen and dan gallagher?"

"they'll have to be media passes, but yeah, why?"

"you'll see. i'll text you the names so you have them. see you in a few days!"

after texting bono a quick message regarding your own pass and ensuring that he would keep it completely and entirely a secret from lewis, you flop backwards onto your bed, staring at the ceiling for a moment. "what the hell have i gotten myself into?"

since the pandemic began, your relationship with lewis has been... well... less than professional.

your daily phone calls and texts with him have contained topics that still make shivers run up your spine and a flush of heat fill your cheeks and neck when you think about them. there have been many nights where you've been on a call with lewis and you're both breathing heavily, clothes messily strewn across your respective beds in a rush to lay back against your pillows and touch yourself to completion, obeying each other's commands and wishes.

there have also been many nights where you're tucked into your beds, roscoe fast asleep next to lewis and your own furry companions, pipsqueak and garfburger, the latter of which amelia named, curled into a ball of rare calmness next to you. the two of you ultimately fall asleep on the call, the idea of having someone with you, even if not physically, helping soothe your anxiety.

both types of calls are incredibly intimate and beautiful, each in their own way.

four days later, you're meeting up with bono outside the paddock to get your own pass and messaging back and forth with dan, attempting to figure out where you can meet him near the paddock entrance. trying to explain to him why you need to meet up today when your scheduled interview time is tomorrow without giving too many details proves to be a difficult task but you're thankfully able to manage. five minutes after bono appears, three media passes in hand, you see dan and kat round the corner. you wave him down, a smile on your face, and kat immediately comes running over to you. today, she sports a pair of baggy jeans, a hamilton jersey over what you assume is the same mercedes hoodie she was wearing on the train, and an incredibly well-loved pair of black platform converse.

"good morning to you both," you say, a bright grin on your face beneath your mask. from the way kat's eyes scrunch up behind glasses you can tell her own smile outshines your own.

"good morning! dad said you had some mid-weekend questions for us?"

"well..." your eyes flick back and forth between dan and kat, and you can see the gears turning in dan's head, but kat remains oblivious. "the mid-weekend questions were a bit of a lie, but i think- i hope- that what i have in my jacket pocket is enough for you to forgive me." with that, you pull the two black and purple media passes out of your jacket, check which one has kat's name on it and which has dan's, and hand them to their respective owners. "kathleen and dan gallagher, welcome to the formula 1 silverstone paddock."

"are you serious?" dan says in disbelief, and when you nod, kat squeaks in delight and throws herself at you, wrapping her arms around you in a vice grip.

"thank you thank you, thank you!"

"you're very welcome. are you ready to go see some cool cars?"

"is that a joke? of course!" kat looks at her father, hoping for some small nod of approval, and, when he does, you think the girl still glued to your torso might just combust from excitement. you can tell that dan's barely containing his own joy, his eyes mirroring the amount of joy you see in kat's.

"in that case, let's go." after about an hour of walking through the paddock, finding spare headsets in the mclaren garage, and smiling as kat and dan can't control their own amazement at the works of engineering in front of them land sheepishly asking a few drivers for photos,) you make your way, finally, to the mercedes garage. "re you two hungry at all? care for a coffee or tea? mercedes has the best food in the paddock. "

"i'd love a coffee, actually." dan says. "kat? you want anything?"

"a cuppa sounds perfect, thank you."

"i've got it. here, have a seat, i'll be right back, " you say, attempting to sound as casual as physically possible when you know you're about to blow their minds. they sit at one of the tables in the small cafe, and you go up to the barista, ordering dan and kat's drinks before ducking away and making your way to lewis' driver's room, knocking a few times and stepping back, smiling when the door opens and you see him, fuck, he looks good. "hi, lewis."

he knew you were going to be in silver stone for the 70th anniversary race, but that isn't until next weekend. "you've here early," he says, leaning against the doorframe. "why's that?"

"i can't want to see my favorite driver at his home race?" you cock an eyebrow and cross your arms, but there's sarcasm evident in your voice. "plus, i missed you. can i tie up your schedule for a bit?"

"it depends. how is my schedule being tied up if i agree?" lewis is matching your own bass, and you smile.

"just some people i'd like you to meet. remember those passes i asked you to have made? well... they're in the cafe and i think the cherry on top of their day would be meeting you."

"in that case, you can tie up my schedule, but i only have fifteen minutes before the strategy meeting." you grin brightly, and your eyes squishing in the corners makes lewis smile in turn, "before we go, though, i do have a little request. come in for a quick minute?" he steps to the side and you gladly follow, turning towards lewis when you hear the door click shut behind you. he's taking off his Mercedes- branded face mask, and you take that as permission lo take your own off. "you know..." he begins, stepping towards you. your breath catches in your throat as all of your senses one immediately overwhelmed with everything lewis. his left hand comes up to hold your and check you gladly lean into his touch, the gentleness of his touch a stark contrast his calloused to fingertips. the next words he says ring in your head, repeating like church bells.

"i missed you, too." those words are the last thing you process before lewis' lips are on yours and every ounce of tension leaves your body.

"mm, lewis, " you say, pulling away from the blissful kiss much to your dismay. "our guests are waiting." lewis groans, and you giggle.

"fine, but after we've done with that and i'm free from my strategy meeting, we're coming back here and finishing what we started."

"deal."

kat and dan are, obviously, completely and entirely dumbfounded when you return to the cafe, six-time world champion in tow.

they're even happier when they watch lewis cross the line in first place, five seconds ahead of max verstappen.

after the podium and post-race interviews, you find yourself crowded against the wall of lewis' driver's room yet again. your kisses are hot and messy, desperate hands wandering around each other's bodies. sometime in the lust-addled haze, you're laying back onto the couch pushed against the back wall and your jeans are being thrown somewhere across the room. whatever, you don't care where they are or how wrinkled they're going to be because lewis is eating you out again and, within minutes, you're cumming on his tongue again as his nose bumps against your clit. when he kisses you, your cum smears on your cheeks and chin and nose and it's so, so filthy, but you wouldn't have it any other way.

"are you coming to any other races this year?" lewis speaks up, his voice echoing through his chest. he's found you a pair of joggers that you'd slipped on after another set of blissful kisses and a messy (but very perfect) handjob. he's laying on the couch and you're resting on top of him, your arms wrapped around his torso and his own surrounding your shoulders. your socked feet are tangled with lewis' own, and his fingers, unusually absent of any jewelry, run gently along the curve of your shoulders.

"i'm not sure. i haven't gotten any race assignments yet from upper management, and traveling is really difficult right now if you don't have a work visa."

"i bet i can send some emails." you can almost hear the smirk in his voice.

"lewis," you scoff, burying your face in his chest. he smells like forests and jasmine and safety. "you're going to be the death of me."

[michibap]

Lake fic wjth sclatt I beg

Lake Fic p.1

guys i still don't know how to make my posts pretty shits PISSING ME OFF

also im dividing this into diff parts bc i had so much to say

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.

-one thing about jschlatt is

-if there's a gathering?

-he's dreading it

-it doesn't matter who is in attendance

-it could be beloved family, close friends, or casual coworkers

-just knowing that there's a function that he's expected to be present at weighs on his spirit during the days, or sometimes even weeks leading up to it

-preemptively exhausted by the expectation to be social

-he steels himself as he loads the last of your bags into your car, bracing for the weekend ahead of him

-soon, the two of you were to be off to your family's annual weekend on the lake

-and he's shitting his pants over it

-it's been haunting his dreams for WEEKS, waking up in a cold sweat after being tormented with nightmares of worst case scenarios

-realistically, he knows he'll probably be fine

-this is far from his first encounter with your family

-having been invited to multiple barbecues, holiday celebrations, birthdays, etc.

-it's not like they don't like him

-if anything, it seems like the opposite (or so he thinks) (or hopes)

-nearly every time he's seen your family in the past years he's known you, they've eagerly asked when he plans on pulling up to the notorious lake house that he’s heard about so many times

-having been shown countless pictures taken there during your childhood, and told even more stories about the shenanigans that take place there every year

-you've just,, never invited him

-well aware that he was easily drained by social situations, you didn't want to burden him with a long weekend in an un-air-conditioned house, packed in like sardines with your family

-so every year, up until now, he'd hang at home by himself while you fuck off into the woods for the weekend, completely cut off from the rest of the world due to the house's remote location

-so,

-when you asked him to tag along with you this year, he was a little taken aback

-what changed?

-why invite him now, after so long of being content to go your separate ways for this one weekend?

-of course he accepted, despite his confusion

-but he did spend the time leading up to today conjuring up nightmare scenarios

-what if this is secretly an intervention, and your family is planning on separating the two of you?

-what if it was actually an annual cult gathering, and you're in charge of bringing the sacrifice this time around?

-what if he gets so anxious while he's talking to your dad and he just keels over on the spot and throws up on his shoes?

-his anxieties fall to the back of his mind for a moment when he hears the front door slam close

-looking up to watch as you make sure it's locked one final time before turning to him with a smile,

"You ready to rock and roll?"

-he bites back a smile and rolls his eyes, digging through his pocket for your keys so he can toss them to you

"Don't father me."

-you only laugh and settle into the driver's seat

-and he climbs into the passenger seat, a little hesitant

-unused to being the Passenger Princess ™️

-however, after being told that after a certain point the gps stops working and most of the roads are unpaved, he agreed to taking the old beater that you refuse to part with instead of one of his expensive sports cars.

-once you're sat and buckled in, you turn in your seat to face schlatt, looking a little unsure

"You're positive you wanna come?"

-you watch as he pauses and can see the way his brain kicks into overdrive, eyes darting around your face, trying to guess what the right answer is

"I just don't want you to feel like I'm dragging you along. Like, if you don't wanna come-"

-oh!

-he relaxes when he realizes it's a you thing, and not a him thing

-he stops you from rambling, reaching across the center console to place a reassuring hand on your knee

"Baby," he interrupts, a sincere look on his face

"There is nothing I want more than to come."

-a moment of silent passes, both of you staring at one another

-it's broken by Schlatt,

-who could no longer keep himself from snorting at his own play on words

-you roll your eyes and swat his hand off of your knee,

"You're the worst." you grumble as you turn to start the car

-and off you go!

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.

-on the third hour of the car ride, the reality of the situation really begins to set in

-he hasn't had service for the past hour, and the radio had stopped picking up any signals shortly after

-and he was lowkey struggling to come to terms with just how disconnected from the rest of the world he was

-most of his LIFE revolved around the internet, it being how he made a living, kept in contact with friends and family, entertained himself

-after stewing for another minute or two, he let out a groan,

“God, can we put on some fucking music? I'm sick of sitting here listening to you breathe."

You laugh,

"Looks like you've got a long weekend ahead of you, sweets."

-you turn to him with a smile, "Hold this?"

-and he's left to scramble to reach over to grab the wheel, shouting at you as you stretch into the back seat to grab something that was seemingly jammed under one of the seats

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

-you scoff as you return to your intended position, tossing a small box into his lap as you settle back in,

"Don't be a puss, there's no one else on the road."

-he looks at you, bewildered, eyes still frantic and wide

"WE COULD HAVE DIED??"

-you shrug

"All you do is complain, first you want music, then you don't want me to get the music, then you yell at me."

-he stares at you for a minute, mouth agape as he waits for you to break, laugh, something

-he shakes his head when you don't,

"You're fucked in the head."

-proceeds to turn his attention to opening the box you had tossed at him, finding that the box was filled with a variety of cds

-some classic oldies, some obscure recession pop albums, rock, jazz

-he picks out an boy band album and holds it up to you, raising his brows with a cheesy smile

-you roll your eyes and knock it out of his hand

-deeper in the box, he finds some personalized cds with handwritten covers, eagerly looking through them, taking in the doodles and personalized little notes written on them

"Jesus, you've just been hiding this in here?"

"You never let me drive." you answer plainly

"Fair enough." he nods

-he plucks out one that's titled "Dad's Mix", reading the back and finding a listing of songs that he approves of before popping it into the radio

-both of you smile when the sound of fleetwood mac fills the car, loudly singing along to the first few songs

-schlatt grabbing your hand and pretending it's a microphone as he (very badly) freestyles a rift

-and all of a sudden, his lack of access to the rest of the world becomes less anxiety-inducing and more freeing

-no emails to answer

-no twitter beef to avoid

-no business calls to make

-no responsibilities aside from remembering the lyrics to the chorus and keeping you company

-eventually he drifts off to sleep, lulled by the wind in his hair and the sound of you humming and gently drumming your hand on the side of the car along to the beat

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.

-he wakes back up to the sound of the tires rumbling over gravel and dirt, sitting up again and looking out the window, out at the unpaved road ahead of him

-and he notes, absentmindedly, that he can't remember the last time he saw another car on the road

-he shifts in his seat, a little anxious

-and the thoughts of everything that could go wrong start to creep in again

-your car could break down

-somebody could get hurt at the house

-your family might spontaneously decide that they hate him

-you guys could get into a fight and break up and be trapped out there together

-he pauses and takes a deep breath before he turns to look at you to ground himself

-your hair blowing in the wind, one hand on the wheel and the other stuck outside the window, beating against the side of the car, matching the beat of the song, sunglasses on

-and not a care in the world as you sing along to the song on the radio

-you must feel his eyes on you, because you glance over at him before breaking into an excited, toothy grin

-and pull your hand back into the car, placing it on the wheel so you can use the other to grab his knee and excitedly shake it

“We’re so close!”

-and who is he to deny you a smile in return??

-he sits up a little straighter, more alert now that he knows you’ll be arriving soon

-surveying the area

-AS A MAN SHOULD

-but he's thrown sideways, yelping as you suddenly take a sharp turn onto an even bumpier road, trampling through the over grown branches that were blocking the view of the long driveway from the road

"Oops!" you giggle

-he doesn't respond, too busy reading the array of signs that the two of you drive past

'PRIVATE PROPERTY: DO NOT ENTER'

'NO TRESSPASSING: Violators will be shot, Survivors will be shot again'

'BEWARE OF DOG"

-you either fail to notice his growing anxiety of choose not to acknowledge it, driving further down the road until you finally reach the end of it, where the house is

-well, it's more of a cabin

-schlatt recalls having been told that your grandfather had built it himself

-and you could tell just by looking at it

(no offense)

-a little worn down and wonky looking, but obviously lived in and well loved

-you pull up as close as you can manage, with there being at least 14 other cars packed into the driveway

-you unbuckle your seatbelt and he follows your lead, looking over to see when you opened your door to get out

-but you don't

-instead, you spend a moment fondly smiling at the house before honking your car horn

-on the porch, he sees a rather large rottweiler stand up from where he was laying, alert

-jay pales a little, wondering if that BEAST was the "dog" the sign was warning trespassers of

-he's too anxious about watching the dog hurl itself towards the car, jumping up on his side of the car and snarling at him through the now slobber covered window to watch as a handful of people file out onto the porch

-his head whips over when you finally open your door, completely disregarding the fact that there was an animal actually trying to eat him outside

-his eyes go impossibly wide and his mouth drops open when you're tackled full force by a GROWN MAN the minute you get out of the car

-which is suddenly surrounded by people???

-oh god oh fuck

-this is it

-he thinks he's having a heart attack

-THERES SO MUCH HAPPENNG AT ONCE

-before he has the chance to process anything, somebody is nudging the dog away from the window, and he's being pulled out of the car by a strong hand on his shoulder

-he relaxes a bit upon seeing it was your older brother, whose laughing at his frazzled expression as he pulls jay into a bro-hug

-and it must breathe the life back into him or something, breaking him out of his panicked daze, allowing him to take everything in

-he's surrounded by a small crowd of people who all look vaguely similar to you

-some are greeting him, others are glancing at him as they whisper back and forth to one another

-but most attention is turned to where your uncle is dragging you and the cousin who tackled you off of the ground, before shoving a can into your hand

-jay watches in awe as you crack open the can, before using a manicured nail to puncture a hole into the bottom and shotgunning it as your cousins cheer

-he turns when he feels another strong hand clapping him on the shoulder, finding another one of your cousins smiling at him as they push a can into his hand as well

-And so the weekend begins 😼

-after choking down whatever the fuck your cousin handed him, the crowd moves to file back into the house

-it's a mess of too many people trying to squeeze into the door at once, paired with the squabble of eight different conversations happening all at the same time

-he steps foot into the house, taking a moment to admire the interior

-well loved furniture, vintage signs, taxidermy (eugh), knitted quilts, and countless framed photos hanging on the wall

-his admiring is interrupted when you slip your hand into his, leading him to follow where four of your cousins are leading you up the stairs, the others having parted with promises to "See you in the back"

-he follows you into a small room right by the stairway, blanching when he sees one mattress pushed into the corner of the room

-to make room for the air mattress and two sleeping bags that were cramped in there as well

-the tallest of the group that had tackled you (Schlatt vaguely remembers his name being Alex) throws himself onto the bed, bouncing a few times before sitting up to look at the two of you

"Looks like you guys're roomin with us!" he chirps

-it's followed by a small chorus of "Hell yeah's"

-but schlatt is still awkwardly looming in the doorway when all heads turn to him,

"Is that alright with you, princess?" your other cousin, who he could remember was named Harper, teased

"Dude-" hissed Benji, Harper's twin, slapping her shoulder

-he shakes his head with a laugh,

"Yeah, nah I'm good." he reassures, before breaking into a sarcastic grin, "Cozy."

-part of him settles when his small tribe of roommates laugh, before moving to stand up

"Well, we're gonna head out back while you two settle. We'll see you guys out there!"

-the moment the two of you are alone, schlatt is face planting into the air mattress (that he had assumed was for the two of you)

-deflating as he released the breath he didn’t know he was holding

-he sighs when he feels the mattress dip beside him, humming as you smooth a hand over his back

“You alright, baby?” you murmur

-he brings his head up to give you a lazy smile as he moves to drag himself so he can plant his head in your lap,

“‘m all good, doll. Just needed a minute.” he clarified, muffled from where his head is nestled into your thigh

-you laugh, moving your hand from rubbing over his back to carding through his hair, and he lets out a relieved groan

“That’s fair,” you muse, “I know it can be… kind of a lot, at first.”

-he briefly lifts his head to level you with an unimpressed look.

“Understatement of the goddamn century.”

-you narrow your eyes and use your other hand to pinch his cheek, shaking it a little,

"Watch your tone with me, boy."

-after a few more minutes of decompressing, the two of you change into your swim suits and meet the rest of your family out back

-you open the back door and it's an assault on the senses

-Schlatt's nose is flooded with the smell of campfire and grilling meat, there's classic rock playing from a shitty old speaker, and your family is scattered throughout the yard

-some are busy playing cards at a picnic table, some men are gathered around the grill, others are sat around a campfire or in a circle playing hacky sack, and there are more lounging by or splashing about in the lake

-before he has the chance to get too overwhelmed, you're slipping your hand into his and leading him to where your father called you over by the grill

-you stand by as they make awkward small talk, chatting about sports and work and whatever the fuck

-he tenses when the large dog from earlier lumbers over, pleasantly surprised when it plants it's ass on his feet, happily panting as it looks up at him, waiting to be pet,

"Aww, she likes you!" you cooed, reaching out to scratch behind her ear, ignoring how your hands stink a little when you pull back

(old dogs always have a certain stench to 'em)

-"Oh, good!" he says, before reaching down to awkwardly pat the dog's hulking head, "What's her name..." he pauses to read the faded name tag on the dog's collar,

"Sweaty?" he reads aloud, glancing up to you, confused

"It's Sweetie." your father interjects, "Pappaw didn't finish elementary school."

-schlatt blanches, feeling like he breached an uncomfortable subject

-before the crowd breaks into a fit of chuckles,

"He's fucking with you," Pappaw himself corrects from the adirondack chair he was lounging in, "I just thought it was funny callin 'er sweaty. And she stinks like a motherfucker."

-Schlatt laughs himself, and easily slips into conversation with the jaded old man

-it flowed naturally, with you occasionally popping in to supplement where schlatt faltered

-his chest puffing up a bit when you brag about his job and the recent trip to Japan he had treated you to

-however, you're not by his side long

-because in a flurry of chaos, a small herd of children emerges from the lake, little legs pumping as they sprint towards you full speed, little face connecting with your lower stomach at full force

-you groan, but are given no chance to recover

-little hands are grabbing at you from all directions, using their collective efforts to drag you to the shore

-you can only send an apologetic smile over your shoulder as you're ushered off, leaving schlatt to his own devices with the men of the family

-luckily he has man-talk down to a science, only having to answer a few questions about work and such before it was acceptable for his input on the conversation to be a correctly timed grunt

-he passes time by petting the dog, who hadn't moved from it's seat on his feet and watching you down by the water

-you're about shin deep, fighting for your life

-you're holding off one kid who was trying to swing on you with a hand to his forehead, your other hand occupied with another child that you're dangling over the water by his ankle

-you must feel his eyes on you, because somehow when you look up, you almost immediately meet his gaze

-and shove the hitting child's head away just enough to send him tumbling back into the water before using your newly freed hand to wave him over

-schlatt politely excusing himself from the conversation he wasn't really participating in to go to you

-walking diligently enough to not get caught in another conversation on his way

-finally making it down to the shoreline, excited to finally be back by your side

-he watches you make an attempt to meet him half way, struggling to trudge through shallow water with a child clinging to each leg, laughing

-but suddenly it's not funny any more when all of the children who were previously pestering you turn their attention to him

-and suddenly there are little hands rubbing over his facial hair like this was some kind of petting zoo, and he's being barraged with questions

"You're her boyfriend?"

"Why?"

"Do you guys kiss?"

"What's a zucchini?"

"That's Mr. Beast?"

"Have you ever held hands?

"My mommy asked when you guys are having a baby"

-he yelps when a little hand pulls at his leg hair

"Why are you so hairy?"

-wants to tell them to scram, but they're all objectively adorable children

-each of them looking a little bit like you, whether it be the hair, eyes, nose, or troublesome giggle

-and maybe this is a glimpse into his future, but he can't say no to those little faces

-he ends up being forced to launch multiple children through the air and into deeper water

-goes to pick up one of the younger children, stopping in his tracks with wide eyes when he bursts into tears,

"You're not Mr. Beast!" the child wailed

-he turns back to you with a bewildered look, which you return with an embarrassed smile,

"Alex told all of the littles I was dating dollar store Mr. Beast." you explain, a little exasperated

-eventually, another adult comes down to the lake and is bombarded by the kids, giving you and jay a chance to escape

-he follows your lead, swimming after you to the floating dock your grandfather had built a while back

-laughing as you drag his ass out of the water and onto the dock

-the two out you laying out there for a while, basking in the sun like turtles on a log

-enjoying the sun and the ambience of the lake, listening to the combined sounds of nature and the distant chaos of the lake house

-he wants you to have a tanline in the shape of his hand on your ass SO BAD

-but you're like "stop i'm tanning"

-so ofc he takes it as a challenge

-turns into him just trying to get his hands on you while you try to get away, laughing

-and it's cute, until you end up accidentally rolling off of the platform into the water

-and he's laughing too hard to keep a proper center of gravity as he tries to haul you back onto the dock, and ends up falling right back in beside u

-when he comes back up to the surface, you're still laughing so hard you're struggling to tread water

-so he swims over and allows you to latch onto him, floating as the two of you catch your breath, eventually relaxing into one another as you float in the refreshing (kind of brown) water

-he shifts a little when he feels you pull away

-tries to play off the way his breath hitches when he sees you looking down at him with a fond smile, bringing a hand up to push the hair out of his face

-watching intently as your lips part like you're about to say something

-before you're interrupted by raucous shouting from a few yards away

"OI!"

"SAVE ROOM FOR JESUS! You two should be ashamed!"

"DON'T GET THE PARTY STARTED WITHOUT ME!"

-both of you turn to see your three cousins, all precariously balanced on a single paddle board, along with a large cooler

-you grin, and use your hand that was still tenderly cupping your boyfriend's cheek to dunk him under the water

-and swimming towards the board, intentions clear with your troublesome grin

"Back away, wench!" Alex yelled, trying to bonk you with the paddle, but missing when you ducked under again

-Schlatt laughed, watching as the board began to aggressively wobble

-Alex and Harper grappled onto one another, screaming, and Benji clutched the cooler,

"HAVE MERCY!" Benji cried, "THINK ABOUT THE TWEAS"

-at that, the wobbling stopped

-and your head pops back up from the water,

"Did you say tweas?"

-skip to the five of you getting hammered out on the dock

-all dehydrated, all sunburnt, and all having a great goddamn time

-wresting each other into the water, drunkenly attempting to do a variety of tricks when you jump off

-however, the vibe changes a bit once the sun drops below the horizon

-the sky is beautiful, the five of you laying face up to admire it

-however, when you sit up, something is a little.... strange...

-maybe you're still a little (really) buzzed, but it kind of looks like you guys are a lot farther from the shore than you remembered being this morning....

-benji sits up beside you, but before you can ask for his opinion, he's clambering to the edge of the dock to yak over the side

-perfect.

-alex is up next, blinking hard as he adjusts to being upright

"... What the fuck?"

"That's what I'm saying."

"Guys?"

-you and alex turn to look at where Benji sits near the edge, looking at the two of you with wide eyes before holding up a thick mooring rope, covered in algae

-schlatt is abruptly woken up by a panicked shout of

"FUCK!"

"Wha' happened? Wuh?" Harper grumbles, and you would laugh at her hair wildly sticking in a thousand different directions if it weren't for the situation at hand

"It's lookin' like we were unmoored." Schlatt fills her in.

Harper hums, not really listening. "Oh, cool." she supplies helpfully, before flopping back on the dock.

-schlatt remains seated as you and Alex stand on the edge, both of you trying to put your single combined brain cell to use

"Wait, so where are we?"

"No fucking clue."

"Right, right. Perfect."

-a beat of silence passes

-"So what do we do?"

-you sigh, looking to the paddle board, which was luckily dragged up onto the dock at some point,

"What else can we do?"

-have you ever tried to fit five fully grown adults onto a single paddle board?

-it doesn't work very well.

-with the weight of five adults, the poor thing is hardly keeping all of you afloat

-and along with the fact that the water has grown dark and cold without the warmth of the sun

-and that all of you were struggling with the combination of a lingering buzz and a day-drinking induced hangover

-the three mile paddle back was NOT fun

"SOMETHING TOUCHED MY FOOT!"

"STOP FUCKING MOVING!!"

"It's over, it's so over."

-Alex's panic about the creatures in the water leads to the board flipping over, sending all of you back into the water

-and all five of you trying to get back on at the same time didn't go as well as one would think

-it end up taking an hour and a half and some change to make it back to the shore by the house

-the five of you needing to spend a solid ten minutes laying in the sand to recoup before walking back up to the house, where the rest of the family was surrounding a bonfire

-there was a chorus of laughter when they watched the five of you emerge,

"You guys made it!"

"We were wondering when you were gonna notice how far you guys got."

"How was it?"

"I need a goddamn cigarette." you grumbled as you stalked past

"DON'T YOU DARE!" your mother calls after you

-the five of you struggle to climb the stairs, flopping on your beds, bathing suits and all

-taking turns using the one shower in the house

-you and jay are the last two left, so of course you can't say no when he convinces you to hop in with him, under the guise of "saving water"

-and it would have been hot and sexy

-if those FUCKERS had left either of you any hot water

-you and schlatt yelp when the water hits you, both rushing to soap yourselves up and rinse off, just to get it over with

-the two of you return to the room where your roommates are settled into their respective sleeping spots

-all mockingly wolf whistling when you two walk in together,

"How was your shower?" Harper asked, wiggling her eyebrows

"Probably not great," Benji answered for the two of you, "We were already out of hot water by the time I got in."

"Yeah, I'd be surprised if they were able to get anything done with how cold that fuckin water is." Alex laughed

-you roll your eyes and throw yourself on the air mattress, schlatt following suit

-you yelp as he does so, the force of him hitting the air mattress sending you popping off onto the floor

-it goes silent for a moment before you let out a weak groan

-and the rest of the room breaks out into laughter

-you grumble and pull yourself back into bed, allowing schlatt to drag you towards him to press a few apologetic kisses to the crown of your head

-and as exhausting as today has been,

-he's more than happy to sit up until the wee hours of the morning, deliriously giggling and gossiping with your cousins as you all fill him in on all of the ongoing family drama

-he's eventually lulled off to sleep by the low hum of your voice

-body heavy with fatigue, reaching a point where he was no longer able to keep his eyes open

-a little later on, the conversation dies out, and you tuck yourself to his chest

- falling asleep to the sound of the crickets and the peepers outside, and the quiet snoring of your boyfriend, eager for what the rest of the weekend will bring

[shittyassffblog]

I'll be home for Christmas

Noah Sebastian x Reader

I recently saw some interview where Noah said he doesn't really go home for the holidays, so I decided to insert myself into that lol.

Warnings: Tooth rotting fluff, Noah smokes a cig (cause I saw a picture of him doing that at some point and decided to include it), tell me if there's more!

Also this was written months ago but I just didn't think a Christmas fic in September was really that fitting lol

Snow was falling outside your window as you listened to Noah streaming. It was an old stream, but he was in a plane on the way back home from Europe, so you couldn't talk to him. Anxiety filled your chest thinking about not talking to him. It's not like you were completely lost without him, you just didn't want him to die in a plane crash. You used to track his flight on an app on your phone, but after all these years of being friends with him (and having a huge crush on him) and him touring you learned to not get too caught up in your anxiety. Almost.

His voice from the old stream playing on your laptop, him laughing brought you back to reality and you realised it was 1 am. You decided you might as well go to sleep since he wouldn't be landing until 7 am the next day. You were flying out to LA in a couple of days, meaning the 24th of December, and you couldn't wait to see him. He didn't know you were coming, you had made sure of that, getting the rest of the band to make sure he knew absolute nothing about it.

He wasn't going back home, he had decided to just stay in LA and work on the music while the rest of the guys went home to their families. You felt bad for Noah, not having anyone to go home to. You had offered months ago to let him come to your house but he, in his words, 'don't wanna intrude'. So you folded and planned out your surprise for him.

You got up, went to your bathroom and washed the make up off your face. As you dried your face you looked at your reflection and sighed. The anxiety wouldn't leave your body and you just knew sleep would be hard to come by tonight. You brushed your teeth and exited the bathroom, turning off the lights on the way out. Walking back into your room you paused the stream and closed your laptop and set it on the floor beside your bed, getting under the covers.

As you suspected, you wouldn't sleep for the next 2 hours, finger hovering over the app icon for the flight tracker app on the last page on your Home Screen. You decided against it, and chose to doom scroll Reddit instead, falling asleep reading about someones asshole mother in law.

--

You woke up to the sound of your phone ringing on your glass nightstand, the vibrations your phone making the glass ring loudly in your ear. You grumbled and protested the sound, but to no avail, so you gave up and grabbed the phone. Looking at the screen you saw Noah's happy face smiling back at you. He was FaceTime-ing you and you accepted the call, his face showing up shortly after.

"What do you wanttttt" You said grumpily. His face was really close up to the camera and he looked goofy as hell. He pulled the phone from his face to smile at you.

"Just wanted to ease your anxiety, I know you don't do well with that." He said and you couldn't help but smile at that.

"Well I was sleeping so I wasn't anxious was i." You said in a teasing tone. He chuckled lightly.

"Should I go then? So you can sleep?" He asked, softening his voice.

"No I won't be able to sleep anymore. I'll probably sleep in an hour though." You said, pulling yourself up in a sitting position.

"Good morning sunshine!" He said and you chuckled a little.

"Had a nice flight?" You asked, rubbing your eyes to get rid of the sleep.

"it was alright, slept most of it though. Jolly went home to Sweden so he's been home for hours, wish that was me." He said laughing a little.

"What about the others, did they fly with you?" You asked, resting your head on your hand.

"No they went straight home to Virginia so I was all alone." He said. You could sense some sadness in his voice, but you knew if you mentioned it he would just deny it so you let it be.

"Well good thing you woke me up then, I can keep you company. And you me, while I make pancakes." You joked as you pulled the covers off of you and went into your kitchen.

"Oh yay." He deadpanned and you both laughed.

-

"Do you think I would look good with a neck tattoo?" You asked and Noah snorted.

"Why would you want that?" He asked.

"You have one! Multiple!" You said incredulously.

"I'm also in a metal band! and have tattoos everywhere else! You hav like, 6 tattoos and they're all stick and poke" He said and you looked at him. He had a point.

"Well just you wait until I get my hands on a tattoo machine, I'll have more tattoos than you before you even know what hit ya!" You said turning your attention back to the drawing you were working on. You heard his chuckle through the phone and it brought a smile to your face.

"Are you sure I shouldn't ask Nick if he could give you some tips? Help you start? You know he would love it, he could be your mentor!" Noah asked, eyes wide as if he had come up with the cure for cancer. You had thought about it, but you never felt like you were good enough to be an apprentice.

"No it's okay Noah. I'm not even sure if I'm good enough for that." You said, the drawing on your iPad taking shape. Without noticing you had drawn Noah from memory (and with some reference to the picture on your phone screen), and it was turning out really good.

"Of course you are! I've seen your drawings, they're really good! Better than most tattoo artists let me tell you that." He said and you both chuckled.

"Yeah well I'm still not sure." You said and he made a little 'hmpf' noise that you of course mocked. Silence fell between you as you concentrated on your drawing and he his computerscreen which had Logic booted up. He was working on new music when you had called and he told you it was good you called, since he hadn't drank any water or went to the bathroom in a few hours.

You started on his hair, the way it swooped across the top of his forehead and how it waved. Then his eyebrows, and how perfectly shaped they were with so little effort. His stubble, which was showing through right now as he sat staring at his own screen, the light from it illuminating his face with a soft glow. He was wearing glasses, so the screen was mirrored in the reflection on them. You always liked his glasses, they were very round and kind of feminine but they suited his face well. You were lost in your train of thought when a loud noise erupted from your phone and Noah was gone.

"What happened? Noah?" You asked, concern lacing your voice.

"I'm okay! Just fell off my chair." He said laughing. You started laughing too.

"This is why I tell you to not tilt on your chair!" You said between laughs.

"I know I know, I just get distracted sometimes." He said. "It really hurt though" He said, but a smile was very present on his face.

"Want me to blow on it? Kiss it better?" You said teasingly, shaking your head.

"That actually would be very nice," He said softly.

"Shame I'm so far away though." You said, knowing full well you'd see him the day after.

"Can you like, fly out here?" He asked, an expression on his face you very rarely seen. Only on occasions where he was talking about his wildest dreams had you seen such a look. It made your heart soar.

"'Fraid I can't sweet, gonna go see the family." You said, trying to keep your face as normal as possible.

"That sucks...I mean, not for you, you get to see family, but I don't get to see you." He said, looking down at his keyboard.

"Maybe if you make a Christmas wish it'll come true." You said, smiling lightly.

"Alright, cringe." He scoffed and you both laughed.

"Anyway I gotta go to bed. Hope the song turns out good." You said, smiling at him.

"Yeah yeah I won't keep you. Safe flight and text me when you land okay?" He said, reaching for the end call button.

"Yeah of course." You said. He smiled a small smile and ended the call. You felt a little bad lying to him, but you knew you'd see him in about 10 hours, even if he didn't know that. You just hoped he went to bed before that. You decided to text him to go to bed just in case he forgot.

Go to bed btw. Before you get square eyes from staring at that screen.

You put your phone down and packed the last of your stuff. After a few moments you got a text back.

Excuse me m'am but I am already in bed.

You laughed as he sent the picture and liked it.

Good boy.

You put your phone down and went to get to bed before leaving for Los Angeles in the morning.

-

"This is the final boarding call for flight 372A to Los Angeles departing from Gate 3"

You hurried along the long walkway down to your gate. You tucked your carry-on along after you and had your boarding pass in the other hand with a panicked expression on your face. You were gonna make it, your anxiety just wanted you to believe different.

"Hi I'm here I'm here!" You called as the last few passengers were boarding and the lady at the doors smiled tightly at you. You handed her your boarding pass and she looked at it and scanned it. It was 6:45 in the morning and you were so tired you had fallen asleep in an airport café and woke up to someone shaking you for your seat. You had looked at your watch and shoved the rest of your croissant in your mouth before grabbing your stuff and speeding off to catch your flight.

"There you are miss. Safe flight." The lady said and you muttered a quick 'thanks' in her general direction before hurrying into the plane. It was surprisingly empty for the 24th of December, but you still sat in your own seat in the middle of the plane by the window. It was still dark, but you couldn't wait to see the high up view of New York as your flight sailed through the sky to sunny LA. You enjoyed the view as long as you could but eventually you started yawning twice in a minute so you put in your AirPods and wrapped your blanket around you and tried to fall asleep to a Christmas jazz playlist you had downloaded. It didn't take long for you to fall asleep to the soft piano playing in your ears and before you knew it you were awoken by the flight attendant telling you that the plane was landing soon.

You packed your things again and waited until the plane was safely on the ground to turn off airplane mode and see three texts from Noah.

When were you landing again? I forgot.

I miss talking to you seriously. I'm just gonna go to bed again until you land.

Okay seriously wtf why is your plane so slow?

You chuckled at the last one and locked your phone so you could exit the plane. You decided not to answer him, deciding that knocking on his door would be the best way to tell him you landed safely.

Even though the plane was pretty empty it didn't mean the airport was. It took you easily 40 minutes to get your luggage but you decided to just be happy it was there and went to get a Christmas drink from Starbucks.

Exiting the airport you were affronted by the heat compared to New York. You took off your sweater and booked an Uber on your phone to Noahs house. Soon after, it arrived and you got into the backseat after putting your luggage in the back. You said hi to the driver and asked him if you could play some Christmas music. He smiled and obliged, wishing you a merry Christmas, which you returned with a smile. It took about 45 minuted to get to Noahs house so now it was 11:45 and you hoped Noah would wake up soon.

You arrived at the address you had given the driver, and tipped him extra for the inconvenience of driving on Christmas Eve and he thanked you profusely while emptying the trunk from your luggage. He drove off and you turned your head towards the door to Noahs house and smiled. You walked up to the door, took a deep breath and rung the doorbell.

Nothing.

You tried again.

Still nothing. Was he not home?

You tried ringing it five times in a row and soon you heard heavy footsteps trotting to the front door, Noah grumbling before opening the door.

"what in the hell- Y/N." He said, first angry but his expression softened when he saw it was you.

"Merry Christmas!" You said, smiling widely. He still didn't react.

"I'm sorry, am I still asleep and this is a dream?" He asked, rubbing his eyes.

"Nope, I just lied a little, but I thought it was worth it." You said, hands behind your back and turning slightly to the left anf right. He started to smile, and then, before you could realise what happened, he ran out the door and grabbed you around your thighs to lift you up and swing you around.

"How did you get here? you should have told me, I would have picked you up? Oh my god I'm so happy to see you!" He said, putting you down and hugging you so tight you barely could breathe.

"Oh I can take an Uber, if it means I can get a hug like that." You said, removing some of your hair from your face. He looked down at you in adoration and you felt a tiny burst of butterflies in you stomach.

"Well what about your family?" He asked and you rolled your eyes.

"You're the only family I need." You said and he smiled even brighter. He took your luggage from your hand and then took your hand, dragging you inside the house. Harper came running to you, eager to say hi and you fell to your knees to give her a proper rub behind her ears.

"I'm not the only one who missed you." Noah said and you smiled up at him. He had this expression on his face that you hadn't seen before. It was like some sort of clarity or realisation.

"You okay?" You asked as you stood up and he nodded.

"Yeah I'm just really happy to see you. Did you have breakfast?" He asked and turned around and only now did you realise he wasn't wearing anything but underwear. You cleared your throat and sat yourself at the kitchen island.

"No I didn't wanna eat airplane food at 7 am." You said chuckling.

"Well good, cause I was gonna make pancakes." He said smiling back at you. You looked around the living room and noticed there wasn't a tree anywhere.

"Where's your tree?" You asked and he glanced back at you with a guilty expression.

"Noah Sebastian where is your goddamn tree?" You said, and he turned around.

"Look I didn't see the point in getting one when it was just gone a be me and Harper!" He said, hands up in defence.

"That's it, after we devour these pancakes, you're gonna get changed and we're gonna have a Christmas Day together." You said, slamming your hand on the marble countertop.

"Okay, and what does that entail?" He asked, pouring batter onto a pan.

"We'll get a Christmas tree, get decorations, get mulled wine-"

"I hate mulled wine"

"We're gonna get mulled wine and we're gonna get some presents to put under the tree so it'll actually feel like Christmas." You said, and he could hear from your tone that he didn't have much of a choice.

"Alright fine. But I'm not putting on a Christmas sweater." He said.

-

A few hour later you were heading out of the door, Noah and you wearing a Christmas sweater each. Noah went to open the door for you and you said a short 'why thank you sir' and it took him just a second too long to start walking to his own side of the car after he closed the door for you. You shrugged it off as nothing though.

You were driving to the nearest Christmas tree market after you got some hot chocolates. You got out of the car and Noah cam around the car to wrap his arm around your shoulder as you walked Amon the tree trying to find a good one.

"What about this one? You asked Noah. It was a beautiful 6'6" tree that was full and green.

"I can't have a tree taller than me, that's embarrassing. Also do you know how much decoration we would need to buy to fill up that tree?" He said, pointing at the tree with his hot chocolate in his hand. He took a sip and continued. "Can't have that, we gotta find something smaller." You sighed and kept walking.

"This one however," He said, walking over to a smaller but still as full tree as the one before. "This one is perfect. 6 feet even probably, that's way better." He said smiling.

"Told you you needed a tree, look how happy you are!" You said grabbing his arm. You noticed it had gotten bigger since you last saw him a few months ago.

"Well I didn't say I didn't need one, just that I didn't see a point when it was just me." he said

"And Harper." You added.

"And Harper. We need to get her a present too." He said as he waved over the guy who cuts down the trees. "We'll take this one!" He said gleefully.

"As you wish sir!" The guy said and happily took the tree to get it packaged. "This your first Christmas together?" he asked Noah.

"Yes, is it that obvious?" Noah asked laughing as he swung his arm around your shoulders again.

"Well the Christmas spirit is wild this year, so many new couples have their first Christmas together." He said laughing heartily. You blushed thinking he thought you were a couple but neither you nor Noah said anything. You held Noah cup as him and the guy got the tree fastened to the top of his car and you drove back home to drop it off before going shopping.

"Okay let's give each other 30 minutes and whatever we find in those 30 minutes are presents to each other. Then we'll find a present for Harper together." Noah said and you nodded. You went your separate ways and started hunting for presents. You decided to head to a music store, and find some new strings for Noahs guitars, some picks and a kazoo, just for fun. You then went to a few clothing stores and picked up a few pieces you knew he would love. You then wen't and got some Liquid Deaths from the kiosk. You had 5 minutes left so you decided to go to the bathroom before you had to meet Noah again.

While you were there you overheard some girls talking outside the stalls.

"Oh my god I can't believe we met Noah! Fucking Noah Sebastian." said one of them.

"Yeah! Oh my god he's so hot I can't believe it." The other said. You chuckled quietly at that.

"Like I'm actually gonna cry the day he gets married, did you see what he was buying? He definitely wasn't buying that for himself." The first one said. You wondered what he was buying that clearly was not for himself.

"Oh he for sure has a girl. She's so lucky. Just glad we didn't catch him in Victoria's Secret, my heart wouldn't have handled it." The second one said and they laughed as they exited the bathroom. You couldn't stop smiling as you washed your hands and grabbed the bag full of his presents. You felt your phone vibrate as you got out of the bathroom.

Hey you done soon? I've been waiting ages!

You laughed and sent back a text.

Alright calm your tits, I was just in the bathroom. Where are you?

You walked slowly as you waited for him to respond.

By the entrance, come on we have to get to target too.

You smiled big at that, he knew you loved Target more than any other store. You skipped along until you reached the entrance and Noah waiting just outside, smoking a cigarette. You didn't like to admit that you found it kinda hot when he did that.

"Hey, ready to go?" You asked as you came outside.

"Yeah, let's go!" He said, putting out his cigarette and throwing the bud in the trash.

You walked to his car and you noticed two girls staring at you. You smiled to yourself and wrapped an arm around Noahs waist, his arm automatically wrapping around your shoulder. You felt so safe in his arms.

Next stop was Target which took you at least another hour and a half to get through, but they had a lot of cute Christmas decorations that you had decided Noah absolutely couldn't live without. While you were there you found a cute plushie for Harper that she would no doubt devour within a week. As you got out of the store it was already getting pretty dark and you thanked yourself for buying food while you were there.

"I feel absolutely exhausted." You said as you buckled your seatbelt to drive home.

"You can just go take a bath when we get home while I get dinner ready." Noah said and smiled towards you. You nodded and smiled back at him, while putting on some music.

When you got home you tried to help Noah unpack, but he just shooed you away with your new bath soaps that he helped pick out. You started the water for the top as you went back to Noahs room to pick out the clothes you were gonna wear afterwards. You decided on a nice shirt, since it was Christmas Eve after all and long black skirt to go with it. And since you were feeling extra christmassy, that's what your underwear conveyed too.

You went back to the bathroom and turned on some music on your phone as you relaxed into the water. While you relaxed you thought about the amazing day you had with Noah and how happy you were to be here. Much better than being back home in Iowa, where your parents would have nothing else to talk abou than how boring your life was to them. You decided not to think about that, and Instead thought about how Noah would react to the presents you got him and what he might have gotten you.

You could feel yourself get happier and happier and decided to empty the bathtub and just shower normally, so you could go help Noah in the kitchen.

When you walked into the kitchen you watched as Noah hummed along to the music he had put on, while swaying his body in time with the rhythm.

"You need any help?" You asked and he yelped in shock. He turned around, clutching his heart.

"Jesus Y/N, you scared me! No I'm good, just sit your pretty butt down and I'll do the rest." He said shaking his head at you. Despite the fake-hard tone in his voice you blushed when he called you pretty.

Soon after, the dinner was ready and Noah joined you as he gave you your plate.

"Dig in, I hope it tastes good!" He said cheerfully and you obliged happily, being hungry from all the Christmas fun you'd had that day. The food was good and you sat and talked about the different things that had happened that day.

"And then I met these two girls that were fans of Bad Omens so that was cool." Noah said and you laughed a little. "What?" he asked and you finished chewing so you could tell him what happened in the bathroom.

"So now I'm really curious what you were buying that so obviously weren't for you!" You said and you both laughed.

"Well that will have to wait for tomorrow. You wanna decorate the tree now?" He asked and you nodded excitedly. He gathered your plates and yet again he waved you away when you tried to help. You decided instead to unbox all the decorations for the tree so you could start decorating. When he was done with the dishes he joined you and you put on the Christmas jazz playlist you had listened to on the way here.

"I didn't know jazz was your thing?" Noah asked and you shrugged.

"It has its good sides. Bringing Christmas vibes to a place where it doesn't snow is one of them." You said and he chuckled at that. After the tree was nicely decorated, you sat down with a beer each and admired your handiwork.

"Oh wait, forgot something." Noah said and got up. You knew what he meant when he showed you the star you had picked out earlier.

"Of course, how could we forget?" You asked as you got up as well.

"Do you wanna do it?" He asked.

"No we can do it together." You said, holding the star on the opposite side he was. You both smiled as you placed the star on the top branch. Neither of you were letting go, but your stare was directed at each other.

"Y/N, I think I have something to tell you." Noah said and you looked down at his lips. You had a feeling you knew where this was going. You decided to take a leap.

"Why don't you just show me?" You asked, looking back at his eyes. They were wide and hopeful, and you swore you could get lost in the darkness of them. He inched closer to you, so you did the same. You could feel his breath on your face and your own hitched, not sure if this was dream or reality. You lips touched and you melted into each other. You hands let go of the star in favour of holding each other, and in the glimmer of the string lights your hearts found each other at last, your lips moving together and the only thing except soft piano and the sound of your lips moving together was heard.

When you finally parted, you only moved so far apart that you could see each other.

"Was that clear enough of an answer?" You asked and you both started laughing in the glee of finally being truthful with each others feelings.

"Yeah I think that's pretty clear, but I might have to have you repeat it, just to be sure." He said and you kissed once more.

[btsgotjams27]

under the mistletoe | knj

Kim Namjoon is a sneaky one when it comes to celebrating the Holidays.

❄️ title: under the mistletoe | a don't push your luck drabble ❄️ pairing: namjoon x f!reader ❄️ genre/au: fluff | ex college rivals, co-workers, frenemies ❄️ rating: pg | ❄️ word count: 1.3k ❄️ warnings: jokes about harassment in the workplace, teasing, kissing ❄️ a/n: it's the holiday szn and i was feeling festive. this is the 'don't push your luck' couple but it can be read as a standalone. enjoy.

❄️ read don't push your luck ❄️ read pitch fest (dpyl drabble)

“I never figured you were someone who loved the holiday season.”

The office looks like elves came in and sprinkled Christmas magic overnight. There's fake snow fluff, bottle brush Christmas trees, and even stockings with your and Namjoon's initials embroidered.

You like the holiday season–you do, minus the endless hours of Christmas music. You can only hear ‘Rocking Around the Christmas Tree' so many times before you wanna hurl. A tradition you do love is watching Home Alone 2 on the day of along with the fireplace on and cozy blanket.

Namjoon turns to you after hanging up the last ornament. “Yeah, I mean, we don’t celebrate it back home in Seoul, but once I moved to Chicago…” He shrugs. “It grew on me.”

You eye him up and down. “Has Kim Namjoon gone soft? Who are you?”

He narrows his eyes, twisting his mouth. “I can be a Grinch instead,” he huffs as he returns to take out pieces of a toy train track.

Shaking your head, you protest, “No, no, no. We’re finally getting along—semi-getting along without going at each other’s throats. I’ll be nice. I promise.”

“You? Nice? It must be a Christmas miracle,” Namjoon teases, placing the train tracks along the top of the cubicle walls.

“Shut up–you’re the one that should be nice since I’m your boss now.”

Namjoon makes a face. “Is this how you treat your partner in crime? By telling them to ‘shut up’? I’d call that harassment.”

You open your mouth and close it again. He got you there. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

Working alongside Namjoon isn't new, but you and him being partners are. The two of you left your previous company and had the ridiculous idea of going into publishing together. Granted, Namjoon knew the business side and you had the heart of the company–what else could go wrong besides the fact that he still loved to push your buttons and tease you about the last work trip the two of you were on.

The corner of Namjoon’s lips curves into a smile. “Should we hug it out? Hold on, let me turn around. I know how much you like being the big spoon.”

You ball your hands into a fist, ready to fight Kim Namjoon. He laughs, walking away to spread Christmas cheer around the office.

“Don’t make me regret asking you to come work for me!” You yell in his direction.

“With you!” He quips while laying down the rest of the tracks for the toy train.

The risks of having Namjoon as your business partner were high, but you were hoping the outcome would outweigh it all.

After countless meetings with investors and prospective authors, you wanted nothing more than to put on fuzzy socks and curl up in bed with a cheesy Hallmark film to put you to sleep. But with the holidays, no one wanted to talk about money because they were too busy spending it.

“I’m tapping out for the day,” you say as you stand up and peer over at Namjoon. 

He’s hanging up another string of cut-out paper snowflakes. Namjoon stops in his tracks, setting down the garland he’s created. “I’ll walk you out.”

With knitted brows and a frown, you’re wondering what’s gotten into him. He’s never once walked you out of the building. You don’t deny the offer because you’re already defeated from the day and don’t have the energy to bicker with him.

He follows you out, standing beside you as the elevator arrives. Silence fills the steel box trapping you and Namjoon before he breaks it.

“Any fun plans tonight?”

You slowly turn your head, narrowing your eyes at the tall giant. “What’s it to you?” Honestly, he’s never been so interested in your life before. Why start now? Is it because you have to work together as partners?

He glances in your direction then turns away to face the elevator doors. “Just making small talk,” he shrugs, placing his hands behind his back.

“Uh huh…”

Namjoon clears his throat out of nervousness. “You did great today in the meetings. I think we’ll have them all on board in no time.”

Is Kim Namjoon complimenting you? Such words have never rung sweeter in your ears.

“You weren’t so bad yourself. Surely, you charmed the panties off Mrs. Park.” The obvious flirting between the two made you want to gag.

A strangled noise comes from Namjoon as he dismisses your comment. The elevator comes to a stop and dings, with the door opening to the parking garage.

You’re ready to step out when you feel a grip on your wrist. Your heart flutters at the sudden contact and you gulp hard at his warm hand against your skin.

“I wanted to see if you’d want to go to a Christmas party with me tonight.”

Is Kim Namjoon asking to be seen with you in public? Why must there be some kind of magic in the air or did he hit himself too hard with a dumbbell?

“I don’t think I’ll be good company, especially at a party.”

The elevator doors begin to close, but you hit the button to keep it open.

“You can be my excuse to leave,” he explains.

Your mouth hangs open before responding. “Is that all I’m good for? Being your excuse?”

The doors threaten to close again and you attempt to hit the button to stay open, but Namjoon beats you to the ‘close’ button instead.

“Say yes.”

“Or what?” You deadpan, cocking your head to the side.

“Or else I’ll kiss you.”

Your eyes widen at his comment and before you know it, Namjoon closes the distance between you, cupping your face, and presses his lips against yours. You’re tempted to pull away and say that you should keep your relationship professional, but your body betrays you as you drop your bag, and wrap your arms and shoulders, deepening the kiss. His lips are soft and delicate, like how you remember them. He pulls back, and you can feel a smile as he returns for another kiss. Your fingers become entangled in his hair, lightly scratching his scalp. Namjoon traces your spine and presses his body as close as he can, causing a shiver to run through your body.

It’s easier to tell how aroused he’s become, and you’d be embarrassed if his thighs were to become slotted between your legs. And in no way, have you ever thought about riding his thighs.

“Namjoon…” You’re finally able to croak out. He hums, placing kisses along your jawline, and down the column of your neck. “What are we doing?”

“Kissing…obviously.”

He’s a smart ass, and he knows it, but that’s also something you’ve come to appreciate.

“I know, but—why, right now?”

The elevator number lights up, and you realize it’s being utilized by someone else.

Namjoon pulls back and stands tall, straightening his tie. He clears his throat, “I—um…” He looks up, and your gaze follows him to the small green plant that’s hanging decorated with a red bow—a mistletoe.

The two of you let out a soft laugh, trying to regain whatever dignity is left.

“You didn’t put that there, did you?”

He points to himself. “Me? Pfft—why would I do that?”

With the long relationship you’ve had, you can always tell when he’s lying.

The lift moves, highlighting the floor it’s going to.

You stride toward Namjoon, gazing into his dragon eyes, then dropping to his plush lips and back up. “Will I find mistletoes around the office now?”

A ding resounds, but you hold the ‘close’ button, waiting for Namjoon’s answer. A beat passes, and it’s the first time he doesn’t have a cheeky response ready. So you do the only sensible thing—kiss him again.

“What was that for?” He asks, scanning your face.

“We are under the mistletoe.” A chuckle leaves your lips. “Well, it was either you kiss me or I’d have to attend a dreadful Christmas party with you.”

“So, you’re not coming?”

“Wouldn’t you rather come to my place instead?”

Namjoon raises an eyebrow. “I won’t object to that.”

read > pitch fest (a don't push your luck drabble)

[yourlocalsmutwriter]

Redbull gives you orgasms - Mike Schmidt x reader

Moving in with your boyfriend was a no-brainer. Abby loved you, Mike loved you, and well it was easier to split the rent two ways. The only problem was with the sleep schedule. Your partner was an absolute early bird. Even with his sleep experiments, he still managed to wake up at 6 AM sharp to get his sister ready. And 99.9 of those days you'd murmur a ''Goodbye Mike, love you'' into the pillow and fall asleep. If it wasn't for your job, you would be a total night owl. There were instances where you'd wake up at 3 just to jolt down a good idea you had. Thankfully, once Mike was asleep, there was no waking him. Him falling asleep was a completely different matter. And you were gonna find that out soon through the magic of ... public holidays.

That's right public holidays. You were gonna take a break, finally, and spend some quality time with Abby, maybe even get to help Mike find some better job options. But before that, you had to work extra hard and prepare posts for the time you'd be gone. You were stressed, and overloaded on free coffee and sugary snacks. By the end of the day, all was good. You handed over some tasks to your more senior colleagues and headed home. Grabbing groceries on the way, you were even given a sample of a new redbull flavor. You grabbed a few of those for your boyfriend and were finally ready to relax.

But Mike had other plans. He looked dejected, so you figured that the meeting with Jane didn't go well. "I'll take the night shift job tomorrow."

"If you're sure. Well, let's have an early dinner then.". After you all ate and the two of you made sure Abby was in bed, it was finally time to sleep as well. You had a bit of chit chat with Mike, nothing too heavy. He was just about to drift off, putting you through the usual routine when he noticed how restless you were. You were tossing and turning, bouncing your leg under the covers. Then came the pillow adjusting, cover moving. Afterwards you went to the bathroom. Then grabbed water. Then the bathroom again.

"Sweetheart, please. " Mike said, his voice groggy. "Did I wake you, shit. I'm sorry, thought you already dozed off." you replied.

"I can go on the couch?" You suggested.

"No, just come here. I'm so used to you that I can't fall asleep without you here anyway. Your work trips fuck me up." he replied. "I'll fix you right up, I'm a sleep expert after all."

You laid down and let him "fix you". First he moved you to the side, then he wrapped his arms around your waist. Then he began to kiss your neck.

"Mike." you moaned.

"Shhh. I need you to not turn off your brain. Just focus on what I'm doing to you and think only about that. Can you do that for me, sweetheart?"You just nodded. He continued kissing you, but now he was also touching your chest. Squeezing your breasts, gently pulling on your nipples. You were getting wet and he knew it. He slipped his hand in your panties, and started rubbing on your clit.

"You're so needy for me. Can't wait to see you let go for me.". You moved your hips to bring him closer to you. But instead of giving in, he slipped a finger in you, then a second.

"Feels so good, so so good.". You felt him get hard against your ass. You reached out a hand to help him out, but he gently moved it away.

"Shh, I have it all planned out. But since you wanna spoil your surprise." His fingers were still inside you. He first undid the buttons on his boxers, letting his cock spring free. Then he moved your panties to the side and removed his fingers. You whined at the loss of contact. But then gasped when you felt his dick in-between your thigs, rubbing against your wet folds. Not only that, but his fingers were back on your clit. You were done for.

"I know you wanna cum for me, but can you hold it for just a little bit. I want us to do it together. Don't worry, I won't last long with your perfect pussy all wet for me like this."

"Please, just a bit more, just the tip. Need you inside me again."

"You know I can't say no to you, sweetheart.". With that Mike slid the head of his cock inside of you. He buried himself to the hilt inside of you, allowing himself 2 thrusts. Reluctantly he pulled away continued humping you.

"Come on sweetheart, let's cum together." You didn't need a second to think about it. Using your last functional braincell, you "aimed" Mike's cock, so he came on your stomach. When you were a bit more coherent, you gathered the cum and licked it away. There was no way you were gonna leave that on the sheets. You turned to kiss Mike, but saw he was fast asleep. Guess reading that sleep book did have its benefits.

[gabessquishytum]

Hob is a con artist working the luxury hotels in [Greece/Monaco/French Riviera]; Dream is there processing his recent divorce.

Hob doesn't usually make time for wet cat mopey divorcees, but there is just something about Dream that steals Hob's focus, and more than one of his potential marks get away from him as he entertains the beautiful sad man.

Yesssss Divorcee of the Endless <333

Hob was supposed to be fleecing rich old people, but instead he finds himself sneaking onto the grounds of Dream’s hotel each day and setting himself up at the pool where Dream always sits. He looks so sad sitting there with his parasol and his black swimming trunks (he never actually goes in the water), occasionally sadly sipping at a fruity cocktail. Hob makes it his mission to entertain the poor darling by swimming laps in his tightest swimwear, making sure to flex his shoulders and chest. After a few days, he knows that Dream is watching and even looking forward to seeing him.

Hob finally makes his move and sprawls on the lounger next to Dream’s. He's still damp, his hair is slicked back from his face and his skin is shining in the sun. He flutters his eyelashes and shows Dream his sweetest smile. "You look like you could do with some fun." He nearly purrs. "Do you really want to sit here forever? I can show you a much better time."

Dream is so depressed he allows himself to be dragged away from the pool. Hob gives him rides around the historic part of town on the back of his old motorbike, and revels in Dream’s arms around his waist. He takes Dream to the museums and the nightclubs until Dream finally repays him by taking Hob up to his hotel room.

It really is very nice. Hob undresses himself and sprawls on the bed, and Dream just looks at him like he's something he wants to study.

"You're a con man." He says, much to Hob’s chagrin. "I don't understand why you haven't conned me yet." Hob just rolls his eyes and stretches himself out, rolling on the luxurious bedding. "Maybe I'm on holiday." He shrugs. "Maybe I'm gonna con you later. Wanna find out?"

Dream works out a significant portion of his divorce angst out of his system by absolutely railing Hob into the very expensive mattress. His legs are like jelly afterwards, it's actually embarrassing. He can't even find the energy to swipe Dream’s watch off the dresser. He just lays with his head between Dream’s shapely thighs and tries to collect himself.

"I could be the second Mrs Endless, you know." He murmurs into the crease of Dream’s thigh. "I'd be so good at it."

And Dream - despite everything he knows about Hob - believes him.

[leasstories]

Nothing else matters (part 1)

Eddie Munson x fem!reader

TW : Eating disorder

You and Eddie have been dating for two months now, you met thanks to your little brother Dustin Henderson, who asked you to replace Lucas at a DnD game. You've been part of the Hellfire ever since then and Eddie and you slowly grew closer, until one day he confessed his feelings towards you, afraid that you would laugh to his face or friendzone him. But everything worked out perfectly as you were feeling the same way, and the two of you started dating. You've been planning your road trip for a month now. You're really excited but also really nervous, Eddie doesn't know that you struggle a lot with food. You always find an excuse not to eat with him or not to eat at all, but now you're going to spend an entire week with him and hiding your eating disorder will be really complicated. Deep down, you know that you could tell Eddie, that he wouldn't judge you, but you still fear that he won't want to be with someone like you, someone "broken", well that's what you think of yourself at least. You think you're broken. You also know that this will sadden him and even maybe hurt him.

You're in your room packing when you hear Eddie's van pull over in your driveway. You finish packing quickly before heading downstairs. When you arrive you can hear Eddie and Dustin having an heated conversation about DnD, you smile at the sight of your brother and your boyfriend getting along so well, it's like a dream for you. When he sees you, Eddie walk towards you and kiss you on the lips. As soon as his lips touch yours you hear your brother mutter "gross".

After saying goodbye to your brother and mom, you take Eddie's hand and walk towards the van. He opens the passenger door for you, before heading to the driver's seat. He pulls out of your driveway and the holidays can finally start. You're going to a city named Shipshewana, it is 4 hours away from Hawkins. When you arrive on the highway, Eddie takes your hand, you spend the ride listening to the new mixtape you've made for him.

After 2 hours of the van ride, Eddie stops for lunch, he stops next to a forest, you take out a blanket and lay it on the floor, while Eddie takes out a basket full of food. Only looking at it makes you sick, but you don't know how to tell Eddie and you know he probably spent hours making this, so instead you sit on the blanket, hoping that Eddie won't notice that you're not eating. Eddie starts eating before noticing that you didn't take any food.

"Don't you like anything I've made" Eddie says with his mouth full

"It's not that..." you say, trying to put your thoughts into words "You know I never ate in front of you."

"And ?" Eddie asks, clueless of where you are getting at

"And... I... I have eating disorders" you say hesitantly but also ashamed, you don't even dare to look at Eddie.

Eddie takes your hand in his and look at you "I don't know what to say YN, but I wanna help you, help you eat properly. We can start with a small thing, what do you think about a cherry tomato ?"

You nod and Eddie hands you a cherry tomato, you stare at it for agonizing minutes.

"You can do it YN, I know it" Eddie says, trying to encourage you. At his words, you end up eating the cherry tomato, but right after you feel guilty and Eddie can sense it.

"You know, tomatoes are basically almost only water, and they don’t have a lot of calories, I don't know if it helps you to know that but I wanted to let you know" he says reassuringly while lightning up his cigarette.

"Thank you" you say "Thank you for taking it so well, I had never opened myself this way, to anyone."

"Did you think I'd run away for something that's out of your control" Eddie says amused.

You shyly look at the ground before answering "You deserve better than someone as broken as me"

"You're not broken YN, you're going through something tough, yes, but I'm here, I'm always here, by your side, no matter what. I'll be here every steps of the way and we'll go through this, together. It doesn't matter how long it takes. I love you and nothing else matters"

You smile at Eddie's words before kissing him, a tear roll down from your cheek and fall on Eddie's, he pull away and wipes your tears. "Don't cry Angel"

"It's... it's just what you said... It's so beautiful Eddie, thank you, thank you so much"

Eddie pulls you in a hug before putting the food back in the basket. You both go back to the van and Eddie drives again, he think about the fact that he booked a restaurant for tonight. What should he do, cancel ? Ask you if you're okay with it ? Keep the surprise and pray that it won't trigger you ? Eddie ends up telling you "I had made a reservation in a restaurant for us tonight, do you want me to cancel given..." he looks for the right words, knowing it is a sensitive topic. "Your relationship with food" You wince at how he put it which makes Eddie apologize right away "I'm so sorry I didn't know how to put it into words"

"It's okay" you answer, you then take a deep shaky breathe before saying "Don't cancel the reservation, I wanna try. Thank you so much for the kind gesture"

"Are you sure baby ? I can cancel, it's no big deal" he answers

"I'm sure" you answer

You spend the rest of the ride listening to first the mixtape you made him for your two months anniversary and then the mixtape he made for you before you even got together. The mixtape you made was mostly filled with songs from The Rolling Stones, The Red Hot Chili Peppers and Bon Jovi while the one he made was mostly Dio, Black Sabbath and Metallica.

After 2 more hours of driving, you finally arrive at Shipshewana, Eddie parks the van at the edge of a forest.

You head out of the van and go for a little hike in the forest, at some point you start feeling dizzy and being pale, Eddie can see it. "You want me to piggyback you ?"

You smile at the gesture "Are you sure you can? Am I not too heavy ?"

"You're far from heavy, and I can, I promise" Eddie piggybacks you and you head back to the van.

You put the blanket in the back of the van and you lay in the back, cuddling.

"At what time is the reservation?" you ask

"9 pm, in 3 hours" Eddie answers

"Oh my God !" You say

"What ? Do you have second thoughts ?" Eddie asks, concerned

"No, not at all, I just didn't bring an outfit to go to the restaurant, or even to go out at all !" you answer

"That's fine angel, don't worry about it. You can just wear your jean and that black Metallica crop top I made for you" he answers

"But it's not fancy enough to go to a restaurant" you say

"It is for me" Eddie says grinning

You go through your stuff in your bag and pull out the Metallica crop top, you take off your shirt and put the Metallica t-shirt on, you then look down at yourself, self conscious of your curves and start being anxious. Eddie can tell you are anxious and looks at you concerned before saying "What's wrong baby?"

"Don't I look fat in this, I mean we can see my tummy and-" you're cut off by Eddie

"You look beautiful. Life is ours, we live it our way, nothing else matters. Please never care for what they do or think, you are beautiful to me. Besides, I really love your tummy" Eddie says while kissing it. You giggle at his touch.

"Stop it" you say in between laughs. Eddie stops after five good minutes and says "Do you wanna do your makeup ?"

"Yes please" you answer out of breathe from all the laughing.

"I'll be right outside if you need me"

You do a nude makeup before heading out of the van, Eddie stare at you in awe before kissing you on the lips. "I love you" he says

"I love you too" you answer.

Eddie goes to the passenger side and open your door for you, before heading in the driver's seat, the drive to the restaurant last 10 minutes. Eddie parks and you get out of the car. Eddie insist on putting his bandana as a blindfold on your eyes so you don't see the restaurant before arriving inside, after complaining for 5 good minutes you finally give up. Eddie leads you to the restaurant, the walk lasts about 5 minutes, he then sit you down on a chair before removing the blindfold, you look at your surrondings and see that it's a fancy restaurant.

"Eddie you shouldn't have..." you say

"I wanted to surprise you, and looking at your facial expression it worked" he answers playfully.

A waiter hands you the menu before heading back to the kitchen.

"You can eat anything you want sweetheart" Eddie says

"Eddie this is too much... You can't afford this" you say

"I've been saving money for it, don't worry Sweetheart, take whatever you want."

You go for the caesar salad while Eddie orders a Beef bourguignon. While waiting for the dishes to arrive you can't help but bounce your leg, stressed about the idea of eating a whole plate, and Eddie can tell what's bothering you because he says "You don't have to finish your plate Sweetheart, besides, you got this, I believe in you"

"What if I disappoint you" you ask, self conscious

"It doesn't matter if you eat one fork or the entire plate, either ways I'll be proud of you" he answers honestly.

The waiter brings you the plates. Since your plate has been in front of you, you've been looking at it with a frown.

"Would it help you if we share your plate" Eddie asks

You nod before saying "Yes please, I think it would help me"

Eddie grab a fork and start eating in your plate, you imitate him but once the fork is in front of your mouth you stop, with teary eyes "I'm sorry Eddie, I can't do it"

"Of course you can sweetheart, this is delicious, please give it a taste. Let's do it together" Eddie offers

Eddie takes a fork of your salad before saying "One, two, three" he then puts the fork in his mouth and you imitate him. You take your sweet time chewing before swallowing. You're on the verge of crying but you hold it back. Eddie put his hand on yours before saying "I'm so proud of you, you did amazing baby"

He finishes his dishes and offer you a dessert even though he already knows the answer is no. Instead he then asks if you want a coffee to which you say yes. Eddie orders your coffee and some chocolate cake for himself. When the dessert arrive you ask "Can I taste your dessert"

Eddie look at you proudly before feeding you a bit of his dessert "I'm so proud of you" he says once you swallow. Then Eddie goes to the counter to pay and you both head back to the van.

"My tummy aches" you say

"It's gonna be find angel, I promise" Eddie says reassuringly. He knows how hard it is for you and is as supportive as he can, without pressuring you too much, and he is so proud of you for tonight.

Eddie parks back to your spot before getting out of the van and opening the passenger door for you, you both head to the back of the van and cuddle, Eddie whispers sweet nothings as well and expresses how proud of you he is for tonight in your ear and you fall asleep in the arms of your beloved.

The next morning when you wake up Eddie isn't next to you, you start worrying until you hear him cursing, you get out of the van to see what's happening and you see Eddie struggling to make some fire.

"I'm sorry I woke you up" he says, mad at himself

"You didn't wake me up" you answer while stirring.

You sit next to Eddie before asking "What are you up to?"

"I was trying to start a fire, 'cause I don't want you to freeze, it's a little bit cold this morning"

You smile at the gesture. "You don't have to baby"

"Of course I do" he answers

"Okay so let me help". You help him starting the fire and after 20 minutes of struggling it's finally done.

Eddie clears his throat before saying "I know it's a sensitive topic, and you don't have to accept but do you want to go grab some breakfast at a diner ?"

You know that if you answer no Eddie won't eat this morning and you don't want him to starve so you nod before saying "Sure, I'll just grab a coffee though"

"As you wish" Eddie says before climbing on the driver's seat. You climb on the passenger seat and head to a diner.

You go sit on a booth while Eddie orders two coffee and a French Toast. When the order is ready, Eddie come back with it. You look at Eddie's French Toast debating in your head if you should taste it or no, you know it would make Eddie proud, and he didn't even force you to eat this morning, he is so understanding about this whole situation. After several minutes of huge thinking Eddie cuts your train of thought "I saw you looking at my French Toast, if you want we can share it" he offers

You look at it hesitantly before answering "I would love that", Eddie looks at you proudly and put his plate in the middle of the table so both of you can reach it. You start eating a little piece of the toast, it tastes good but as soon as you swallow it you imagine how much calories there is in there and start panicking, as if Eddie understood he grabs your hand for emotional support before saying "I'm so so proud of you baby, you don't have to care about the number of calories, I know how hard it must be but your body actually needs food in order to function correctly"

You smile at his word before sipping some of your coffee.

After breakfast, you start visiting the city of Shipshewana before stopping in a small restaurant. You order a salad while Eddie order an hamburger with fries. You manage to eat half of your salad. When you head out of the restaurant Eddie kisses the back of your hand before saying "I'm so beyond proud of you for this lunch baby, you did amazing". You then visit the city hand in hand. At some point of the walk, your tummy starts aching, you try to hide it from Eddie, not wanting to ruin the walk but Eddie knows you all too well and knows that something's up.

"Are you okay baby ?" He asks concerned

You force a smile before answering "Yes, sure"

"I can tell something's up baby" Eddie says, even more concerned

"My tummy aches from all the eating earlier. I'm sorry for ruining our vacation week..." you say feeling really self-conscious and sorry.

"You're not ruining anything, besides your health is the most important thing so please don't feel sorry" Eddie says while putting his hands around your shoulders and holding you close to him. You smile at him.

"Do you want to sit down somewhere so you can rest a bit" Eddie asks

"Only if it doesn't bother you, I want you to have a great time, not to have to deal with my crap you know..." you answer

"First of all it doesn't bother me at all, as long as I'm with you, nothing else matters, second of all your crap is my crap too now, I won't let you struggle alone, we're in this together, I'm here for you and I'll always be"

You smile at him with teary eyes while going towards a bench in a beautiful small park, you sit down next to one another and Eddie takes your hand in his after having kissed your forehead. You put your head on Eddie's shoulder and both look at the kids playing in the park, an old couple holding hands. Seeing this couple both you and Eddie are convinced that you wanna grow old together, you wanna experience life together and nothing else matters.

Part 2 here

[loveandleases]

hi dear author, uh- i want to ask something, why is that snowball ask got nsfw tag ? i'm confused 😭 also since its already September, i wanna know which ROs that's already excited with the upcoming Halloween on October? thank you so much 💖 hope you have a good day / night 💖

Oh, there is a very good reason as to why it's NSFW. I'll just send you to Urban Dictionary for that. In reference to this ask. Oh, fun little ask. As always, answer below the cut~

❤️ Cam - Is excited. Already has costume ideas, though all are contingent on whatever MC decides to wear. He loves Halloween, loves the candy, loves the atmosphere, and loves having an excuse to wear couple costume with MC.

💙 G - They don't mind the day itself, they just could do without all the people. G works non-stop the weeks before Halloween, helping with adoption for pets. They even dress up the pets for the event. On the actual day of Halloween, they like to just be home and recoup. Easier said than done with everyone coming for candy.

💚 Kara - She likes to go out for Halloween with friends. Cute outfit, and good company. She likes to end it all with a nice warm drink on a walk back home, just enjoying the Fall scenery. She loves the changing of the seasons, and the holidays that come with it. Plus, she totally has a stash of candy she gets from Halloween that she snacks on at work.

💛 M - Love the idea of people dressing up for Halloween, they like to think of it as a big cosplay convention. They themselves dress up, and instead of working nonstop as usual, M actually spends the day watching horror. They will likely have no voice left the day after due to all that screaming.

💜 Isaac - Always too busy to actually get to enjoy Halloween. Never fails Isaac is likely working until midnight doing deliveries and well other things. They honestly could care less about the holiday but they do enjoy the time of year, it was a favorite time spent with their mother.

🖤 Ardent - Do.not.look.at.him. Yes, he is wearing some costume his niece chose for him. Yes, he is the Cowardly Lion, Yeah that is Cupid dressed as Toto. Don't you dare fucking mention it, he will get so annoyed and if in a relationship, will make MC pay for it. He hates it, hates how crowded it is on the streets, but loves spending time with his niece. (softie)

[lythea-creation]

I Don't Need You - Remus Lupin x daughter reader

summary: Remus never knew he had a daughter until he became her teacher. Will he be able to make up for lost time?

warnings: death, alcohol (underage)

word count: 917

Author's note: Feel free to check out my Masterlists and make requests. No reposting please! Reblogging, comments and requests are always appreciated <3 If you like the story/my writing, please don't be shy to say it via comments or asks! It takes you a few seconds and might make my day. It's the best appreciation you can show to a writer you like.

Requested? Yes

----------------------

Remus' PoV

I had mastered a lot of challenges in my life. None of them was easy, but some easier to manage than the other.

Yet I had not expected to face my biggest challenge when becoming a teacher at my old school. It was not even the teacher part that was bothering me. Not at all actually. I enjoyed teaching despite my difficulties with the full moon.

My issue was a certain student named (f/n) (l/n).

She was a bright student indeed, on top of her class. Nevertheless she came along with her (your house) classmates.

Kate had never told me that she had been expecting my daughter. She had raised (f/n) on her own, leaving me out of the picture. And now that I had just found out about her, it was hard to build a proper relationship together. After all my kid was already 14 years old.

Over the year I tried to spend as much time with her as possible to bond. She was reluctant from time to time, but also curious. So she actually agreed to meet up out of class.

We did come along pretty well, but somehow we did not manage to establish a father-daughter relationship. I was more of a mentor to her.

No matter how hard I tried to change it up, it just did not seem to work out.

To be honest it was hurting me that I had missed so much time with her without intending to and I was blaming Kate for it. I did not understand why she had kept my kid away from me.

It hurt that (f/n) was calling me Remus instead of dad, although it was not her fault. She was most likely having an even harder time to adapt than me.

All of that changed for the worse in the end of 1994. Kate had died in a car accident.

I had planned to confront her with the whole situation, but had not been able to gather my courage in time. Now I would never get the chance to. But that did not matter.

(f/n) had just lost her mom after turning sixteen a few days ago. It was a cruel fate. Like I had just met her in time, so she would at least have another parent left.

During the Christmas holidays she did not want to see me and I could not and did not want to force her. But she did not really have a choice but to come to me to Grimmauld Place during the summer holidays.

I was anxious for her to arrive. After all I barely knew her and we had never spent this much time together, especially during such an emotional time.

But I intended to do the best I could.

When she arrived she greeted me with a quiet “Hey”, barely looking at me.

She spent most of the time in her room, even when I tried to get her out of it.

After a few days I was defeated. I had no idea how to get through to her. She was obviously grieving and I could not support her the way she needed it.

I offered her to get professional help, but she refused vehemently. The only time I had seen some life in her since Kate's death.

Instead I realized that some of the alcohol was missing or rather Sirius noticed. I asked around to make sure that nobody else had taken it before confronting (f/n).

I was nervous but upset enough to knock on her door.

“(f/n), we need to talk”, I requested.

“I don't wanna talk to you”, she declared. “Go away.”

“I won't. Will you let me in or do I have to enter without your permission?”, I inquired.

“Fine”, she grumbled.

Her room was a mess, but that was a topic for another time.

“We noticed that some alcohol is missing. Nobody else took it. So it's gotta be you”, I proposed.

“So what?”, she shot back, not even facing me.

She was laying in her bed, her back turned toward me.

“(f/n), you're sixteen. You can't just walk around and steal the alcohol. Your brain is still developing. Do you even realize how damaging that is?”, I wondered.

“Doesn't matter”, she mumbled.

“Yes, it does. I can't believe you're so irresponsible”, I ranted. “I really expected more from you.”

“Oh, yeah?” Now she sat up and turned toward me. “I'm so sorry you're disappointed in me”, she stated sarcastically. “It must be heartbreaking and embarrassing that you did not have enough influence on me to raise me properly.”

“(f/n), I get that you're upset ...”

She interrupted me: “No, you don't! You don't get anything! You don't even know me! We're talking about my mom here. She's gone and she'll never come back. Now all I have left is you. You're trying to act like my dad, but you're not. You're a stranger. I don't need you!”

A heaviness settled inside of me that I could not just shake off. I was mad at her. Mainly because everything she had said was true. It had been plaguing me since I had met her for the first time.

“Now please just leave me alone”, she whispered.

I wanted to comfort her, to build a bridge between us. But I could not. Maybe I had lost too much time with her to fix it up.

[reluctanttrabbit]

its secret santa time!! woo!! @hearts4ggy BOO CAROUSEL JUMPSCARE 💥💥💥💥

originally i planned to make a fic AND draw a scene from the fic. but my dreams slowly crumbled as i realized i would have so much homework this month AND i also really just wanted to get this fic out before christmas bc i know many people are with family at this time

so heres the fic instead!! maybe i can finish up the art part of the gift this week.. :3

the full fic is also below the cut incase u wanna read it this way ^_^

Carol of the Bells

3,347 words

3:56. 3:57. 3:58.

Every time Michael glanced at the clock, it stared right back. Almost like it's taunting me, he thought.

Out of all of the days in the year, why did William Afton have to work on Christmas Eve and leave Michael to look after his siblings?

To be fair, it was a lose-lose situation either way. He could either spend the day stuck with his stupid siblings, or ditto but with his stupid father.

So here he was, baking cookies with Elizabeth and Evan in the afternoon.

"I.. I think we used too much sugar," a small voice piped up. It was Evan, who had just grabbed the egg carton out of the fridge and peered into the bowl the siblings were using. Sure enough, sugar was littered all over the kitchen counter. Evan guessed that was Elizabeth's handiwork.

"Good! Maybe you'll get some cavities from it, and you'll talk even less, then," Elizabeth jeered at her brother.

"Liz, these cookies are for all of us. if anything, you're getting cavities too." Michael sighed as he pushed her aside to swipe the eggs out of Evan's hands. she let out a small yelp of annoyance, which Michael had ignored. He turned to his phone propped up on the counter with the recipe on his screen.

"Ok, eggs and vanilla extract." he said aloud to himself. Michael looked to the counter, but the vanilla extract was nowhere in sight. What? That couldn't be right.

"We got vanilla extract, right? who has it?" Michael instantly turned to Evan, who jumped a little and showed Michael his hands. Empty.

Next, he turned to Liz, getting more agitated at the second. Once he looked in her direction, he noticed three red cups set on the counter, as Elizabeth wore a suspicious smile and eyed the cups. Michael simply wasn't having it, and knocked all 3 cups off the counter as if he were a cat. He deadpanned towards Elizabeth as she watched the vanilla extract fall out of the middle cup and onto the floor.

"Hey! What's your problem today?!" she cried, as Michael went to pick up the extract.

"My problem," he growled, "is that I'm stuck with you two today, because our father can't even manage to take the day off of work for CHRISTMAS EVE."

"Well, maybe he's getting some last minute gifts.. or something!" she said, trying to excuse her father.

"Bullshit, theres nothing open today! It's a holiday, he shouldn't even be at work in the first place!"

"Don't swear at me!"

"I'll do whatever I want! Dad isn't here, I'm in charge."

"Y'know, i bet you the reason you don't wanna spend Christmas Eve with us is because you'd rathe-"

The house phone started ringing, and the two stopped fighting. Michael sent a cold glare to Elizabeth, as if he was telling her this wasn't over, and he walked over to pick up.

"Hey, is mike here?" a voice rang through the speaker. it was Charlie!

"Uh- yeah, what happened?"

"What do you mean what happened, its Christmas Eve! we're coming over for a bit, so we can keep you guys company.. since your dad isn't here, y'know." there was a slight laugh in her voice, but it settled once she mentioned that William wasn't home. Right, how could Michael ever forget.

"Oh, well.. sweet. See you guys in a bit, I guess. bye." Michael put the phone down. He hoped Charlie couldn't tell that there was still hints of anger in his voice, despite their call being so short. He let out a sigh, which somewhat turned into a growl, and turned around to look back at his siblings. Evan had started to pick the extract up and clean it with some paper towels. Good. At least he was managing to be helpful.

hearing the news that Charlie and Henry (and hopefully Sammy) were coming over eased Michael's thoughts. maybe Henry could be the one to deal with his siblings, and Michael could get a break from these brats. Evan offered the extract to Mike, and he picked it up, turning his phone back on and reading over the recipe once again. Liz had left to go sit on the couch and cool off from her and Mike's previous squabbling. Hey, I'm not complaining, Mike thought to himself.

"Cass, you wanna grab the mixer for me?" he asked. Evan nodded, and went to search the cupboards until he pulled the machine out, with the cord dangling and nearly tripping him.

Evan hauled the machine up onto the counter. He brushed his hands off on his pants, and stood idly waiting for Michael to do the next step. He fidgeted with his sweater sleeves, and peeked around the corner of the fridge to look at Elizabeth. she had a pillow in her hand as she hit it repeatedly against the floor.

Evan had a hunch that pillow was supposed to be michael.

He turned back to face Michael. the boy jumped as the mixer started and the ingredients splashed onto his face. He grumbled, but held the bowl steady and let the mixer do its job.

Evan took advantage of the loud whirring from the mixer, and snuck off into the living room to stay with Elizabeth. Her eyes narrowed as he walked into the room, and put the pillow down.

The mixer slowed down and Michael went to wash his hands. He looked around for evan, only to find that the boy wasn't there.

"Hey, I still need help here!" he shouted.

"…"

"Fine."

-------------

Michael cringed with each bite he took of the cookie. Something had definitely went wrong once he was left alone to bake. Was it too sweet? Or too bitter? Were the ingredients expired?

"Ok, these… these cookies taste like shit." Michael put the cookie (could it even be called that?) back down on his plate and took a sip of water. he heard Elizabeth and Evan laugh, as they had already rejected their cookies.

"When will Charlie and Henry get here?" Evan asked, blankly staring out into the window. There were slight flurries outside- the thought of a white Christmas made Michael subconsciously smile. It had reminded him of better days - days where all he would do in school was make crafts and bring them home to his mom and dad. He remember the way his mother's nose would crinkle as she smiled and put the poor excuse for an ornament up on their Christmas tree.

"…"

"I'm gonna go get my sketchbook. Just… do whatever." Mike nearly bolted up as he dodged the question and tossed the tv remote to Elizabeth, heading for the stairs. She turned on the tv and started to flip through channels. There was nothing that interested the two. News channels, baby channels, reruns of old movies, the shopping channel; and a few kids channels, but none of them were playing anything good. Elizabeth decided on one that was about these weird CGI Christmas dogs.. it wasn't like she would actually pay attention to it.

"All of these shows suck!" she huffed in frustration. "Why aren't they playing, like, My Little Pony or something?" she went to lay back on the floor and stare up at the ceiling.

Evan had wanted to answer, because its Christmas and the only thing that's on right now are Christmas movies. But he was too lost in his own thoughts to interject. He remembered the look in Michael's eyes as he went up to grab his sketchbook. The teen looked like he was on the verge of tears. Evan felt as if he had seen a cryptid.

"Liz, um.. do you ever think about why Mike gets angry at us?" he turned to his sister.

"..Well, I don't think about it on a daily basis, but I know the answer. You should too." she sighed, crossing her arms.

"I mean, obviously I know why, but… why does he get angry? We only fight with him because he fights with us. Why does he get to be the angry one? Why does he see us as brats and then get to act like that?"

Elizabeth stayed silent. They both did for a minute.

"Maybe he never moved on. I don't know." she sighed, now giving more thought to the conversation. "I don't remember much of her. Maybe the problem is that he remembers too much."

Maybe the problem is that he remembers too much. The words repeated in Evan's mind. what did that even mean? It got louder and louder, and-

"Charlie!" Elizabeth cried as she shot up to run towards the window. She was careful to not scratch herself on the Christmas tree right beside the window, and peered through the snow, which had begun to fall faster than a few minutes ago. The headlights of Henry's car disoriented Liz, but she tried her best to get a good look.

Evan stared at the ground for a few more seconds, before getting up and opening the door for them. Henry and Charlie stepped out of the car, gift bags in each of their hands. Elizabeth nearly pushed Evan out of the way as they came in the door.

"Merry Christmas, you two!" Henry said, imitating the voice of Santa Claus. He definitely has the beard for the role, Evan thought.

Elizabeth jumped into Charlie arms, giving her a hug.

"Hey Liz!" the teen said, ruffling her hair. "Guess who these are for?" she said as she held up the bags in her arms. Elizabeth gasped and reached for them, but Charlie swiped them away.

"Hey, not until tomorrow." she laughed. Her and Henry walked towards the tree to put their gifts down and take off their coats. Henry paused as Charlie set down her bags.

"You kids only got 5 presents?" Henry asked, concerned. "Now I don't want to shame your dad, but I know he has more than enough money for you guys. There's no way he's putting all that into the mall..." the man trailed off as he answered his own question.

"Well, good thing we delivered, huh?" Charlie said, trying to keep the mood up. "C'mon Liz, let's go find a Christmas movie to watch." the 2 girls walked to the couch as Charlie flipped through their DVD collection.

Henry and Evan sat in silence as Henry looked around and rubbed his hands.

"So, where's your brother?" Henry asked, looking around the house.

"He ran upstairs." Evan answered, looking up at them as if Michael would appear there in seconds. But Evan knew better. He was probably locking himself in his room for the rest of the night. He turned back to look at Henry, but couldn't quite read his expression as the man grumbled something to himself.

"..Well, I see you made cookies! Mind if I take a bite?" Henry grinned as he walked over to the plate on the kitchen counter. He had moved too fast, as Evan was just about to respond until Henry took a bite out of the poorly iced mess. His face went sour, and Evan couldn't help but snicker.

"We- we didn't do the best, I'm sure you can tell." Evan said as he watched Henry put the cookie back down on its plate.

"No worries, kid. I guess it's Santa's problem, not ours." Henry sighed and walked off into the living room. But Evan stayed put as his gaze wandered to the stairs.

He wasn't actually going to stay upstairs, was he?

-------------

Evan walked down the hall, peering in each room. Every step he took made the floorboards creak, making Evan walk lighter than usually. He passed by his room, and the door was closed. He looked at all the drawings scattered on his door, some drawn by Michael and some drawn by himself.

Elizabeth's door was decorated with stickers and one of those "no boys allowed" signs -- a gift that she put up as a joke. Evan continued walking. The bathroom doors were both open, and Michael's door was locked shut. his door held no drawings, or no stickers. Just a door handle and peeling paint. Evan held his ear close to the door, but couldn't hear any signs of Michael. He was most likely in there, but Evan had to be sure.

..That left only 2 rooms to check.

If Evan wasn't stepping lightly before, he was definitely floating by now. Even just standing by the door of William's office was enough to make him remind himself to breathe. The door stood tall and foreboding, somewhat like his dad. The light was off, so Michael couldn't be in there. Evan turned to the room at the end of the hall.

William's room.

Of course, it had never been just William's room. It used to belong to their mother too, once upon a time. Or more like a few years ago. but it seemed like Evan's instincts were right, as the lamp on the bedside drawer was on. Michael was right beside that drawer leaning against the bed and burying his head in his arms. There was a book by his feet, sitting upside down with pictures falling out of it.

Something told Evan that the book wasn't Michael's sketchbook.

Evan walked closer to Michael, and the boy lifted his head up.

"Screw off Cass, get out." his throat was raspy; Michael sounded like he was tired. His voice was the quietest it had been in years.

Evan stayed silent. He moved closer.

"..Are you deaf, I said--"

"I heard you, and I'm not going to let you yell at me anymore!" Evan's voice wavered as he spoke.

"Oh, what, did you--"

"All day you've been rude to me AND Elizabeth, and you're always just rude in general! Why do you get to just- why do you not realize that when mom died, it.. it hurt us too. But you don't get that, because you're mad at our father, and.."

Evan felt tears welling up already. Why was he such a crybaby?

Evan and Michael both fell silent as the two thought of what to say.

"..You really suck at yelling." Michael grumbled as he picked the book up. Evan wiped his tears and tried to compose himself so he could continue his rant, but he finally noticed what the book was.

It was a photo album.

Evan took a breath as he moved closer to sit beside Michael.

"In a way, you aren't wrong. I am mad at our father. Because he doesn't give a shit about us or about mom's death-"

"Liar! Dad talks about her all the time! You wouldn't know that because you barely try to talk to him."

Michael ignored him as he flipped through the pages. Their parents didn't take many pictures of themselves, but there were lots of family photos. A picture of Michael on a high chair as he eats baby food. His hair sticks out in every direction. Carol is cleaning his face, smiling for the camera as she tries her best not to laugh. A beach day photo where she's putting sunscreen on a younger Elizabeth as Michael and Evan splash around in the water. Michael and Carol at a school dance.

Slowly but surely, Michael and Evan's mom started to appear less and less, until the last picture was of William and Henry at the opening of the Pizzaplex.

"It's like she's.. slowly disappearing. From the book, from us-- And somewhere deep down, I WANT her to. So I don't have to think about her everyday. So the pain is easier." Michael sobbed. Evan's eyes widened as Michael was crying real, live tears. Was this a prank?

"I can't remember anything else from our childhood except her."

As awkward as it was, Evan shifted closer to rest his head on Michael's shoulder. Michael didn't push him off. He didn't yell at him. It just happened. And that was enough.

They sat in silence for a good while.

"..It feels weird to see you cry. It's like our personalities were swapped or something. Like 'Freaky Friday'." Evan muttered in a soft voice. Michael sniffed and wiped his eyes as he let out a genuine snicker. It wasn't in a mocking or sarcastic tone, for the first time in a while. Evan still wasn't used to this.

"Maybe it should happen more. For the both of us. I can... cry more, and you can stand up to me more." Michael admitted. He sighed and rested his head on Evan's, like they were 2 brothers who actually liked each other.

Someday, maybe that could happen.

-------------

The rest of the night flew by. Evan and Michael finally went back downstairs to join everyone else and have a movie marathon, along with some TV dinner. They talked, and danced, but eventually Henry and Charlie had to drive back home. Henry allowed them to open at least one Christmas present before they left, and Elizabeth made sure to pick a big enough gift. Because of course, Henry wouldn't allow her to pick the box that DEFINITELY wasn't a new toy playset.

Michael got a set of watercolors, Evan got a set of pajamas, and Elizabeth got a 16" Glamrock Chica plushie. The Emilys went back to their house, and the Aftons got ready for bed.

William Afton was still nowhere in sight.

Falling in and out of sleep, Michael lay in his bed, snuggled up in a pile of 3 blankets with the fan running. It was peaceful.

That was, until Elizabeth creaked the door open and poked at Michael. And when he didn't respond to pokes, she rocked him back and forth.

"... What, Liz? It's.. I don't even know what time it is, why are you still awake?" he mumbled.

"Me and Ev can't sleep," she whispered, Glamrock Chica plushie in her hands.

"Well, that's not my problem, is it? If you're awake, Santa won't give you any presents. He knows when you're sleeping," Michael told her.

"Exactly! We need you so we can fall asleep, and then Santa can come! Get up already!" she dragged the boy out of his blanket nest as he protested. Evan had been waiting by the stairs, with a nightlight in one hand and a Fredbear plushie in the other. The 3 siblings walked down the stairs as the Christmas tree shined as bright as a fire.

"Why are we going in the living room?" Michael nearly tripped on his feet as Elizabeth led him around the house. He looked down at Evan, who was just as confused.

"Aw, wait... Michael, I'm gonna go take your blankets. Help Evan move the chair closer to the tree, okay?" she said in a hurry as the girl ran back up the stairs. Evan set his nightlight down, and Michael finally understood what Elizabeth was planning.

"I'll get some chairs," Michael muttered to himself.

Soon enough, Elizabeth had hurried back down with blankets in hand. Evan had knocked over a few things while he pushed the chair, but they'd fix it in the morning. Michael spaced out the chairs, and Elizabeth draped them all on top of each other.

It wasn't the best, but it was a feasible blanket fort. Michael took the pillows off of the couch and threw them into the fort, as the 3 settled in and got comfy. Michael propped up one more pillow for his head, and closed his eyes.

"Now go to sleep," he told his siblings. In twin movements, Elizabeth and Evan rested their heads on Michael's shoulders. He could have pushed them off, but he was getting more tired at the second. He listened to their breathing get slower, and Michael laughed at the thought that 'visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads.'

Michael started to feel himself drifting away, and just before he fell asleep, he swore he heard the jingling of bells and something on the roof.

Maybe he made that part up in a sleepless haze. Maybe it was really his father's car engine.

[buckgasms]

Ok, I'm sorry for interrupting your busy schedule AGAIN, but hear me out. I really wanna see the softer side of Daddy Bear. I know he's a dark character, and all but I just hear me out a little bit I wanna see what he does when let's say Goldilocks get and injury or something from chores or like just like cute interactions between them LIKE cute little gifts he makes her cute little things she does for him or celebrating holidays and birthdays together or Goldilocks having a bad day and how she gets treated or vice versa or Daddy bear reading Goldilocks to sleep when she can't sleep or Goldilocks treating daddy bear after a nightmare or Goldilocks having separation anxiety crying ugly when daddy bear has work and wanting to cuddle him to death the moment he returns home or bucky heart melting into a FUCKING SWIMMING POOL when Goldilocks complements him I'm sorry I've written the whole dictionary but you don't have to though we have imagination for a reason lol. also, I wrote this poem for you enjoy my love😘. I LOVE YOU POM I HOPE YOU'VE HAD A GREAT DAY OR WEEK OR MONTH I HOPE YOU HAVE GREAT COMPANY IN YOUR LIFE CAUSE IF HEAR THAT A BITCH MADE YOU FEEL THE SLIGHTEST AMOUNT OF AND THING THAT ISN'T JOY I'M NUKING FUCKING RUSSIA UNTIL THEY APOLOGISE love you tons pom bye wife🫶🏾

Babes I love you so much - I would do anything for you okaaaaay!!!!

You want soft Goldilocks hmm?

Ok lemme give you something sweet just because you are such a sweetie to me 💖 I hope this is okay????? I might have to explore some of these ideas further 😅

- Well any time Goldilocks hurts herself doing chores Daddy Bear is beside himself both with worry and pride. His perfect sweetheart/wife in training has worked so hard to make everything perfect just for him!

- You're gonna get cuddles, kisses, he's gonna rub your sore muscles and tell you how much he loves you.

- I can imagine him checking you over for other injuries just so he can squeeze at your body possessively and tease you until you are 💦wet💦 so he can then say what a naughty girl you are and what a perfect wife you are going to make because you are always ready for Daddy Bear.

- Obviously you can't go out or anything but he lets you roam the immediate area of his cabin and sometimes you find pretty flowers or pebbles or feathers and collect them for him which he loves.

- Or you draw something beautiful like the scenery or a picture of him and he's just thrilled because even though you don't have much to work with, you still think of him and make something special.

- Daddy bear will bring home all kinds of gifts for you, but he has to be careful not to arouse suspicion. So everything comes in discreet packaging and you get quite excited wondering what's inside.

- Mostly it's clothing, although often very skimpy things like little frilly aprons, or sundresses or pretty shoes.

- If you mention a book you loved to read he would get that for you too, although he avoids too many reminders of your old life just in case it makes you want to leave him!

- He will also make you little things. Wooden items are his speciality of course but I feel he is quite crafty with other things too. Like I imagine he makes you a little leather collar with his name etched on it????

- And so many flowers 🌸🌼💐

🩷

- He decides instead of celebrating your birthday, he wants to celebrate the day you came to him. So every year he gets a little bear for you, and I feel like some kind of roleplay into reliving the night but he has heavily edited it to make you think it's more like a rescue than what it actually was.

- One day you shyly ask him when his birthday is and from that moment you are planning the most perfect day.

- You wake up early and surprise him with a little treat under the covers which has him growling awake. The rest of the morning is spent doing whatever he likes to you, but it works out well for you!

- Then you make him a delicious birthday cake and surprise him with a present. I like the idea of it being a pregnancy test because that's what Daddy Bear wants more than anything, but it could also just be something sweet like you've packed a picnic and ask if you can go into the woods for the day?

🩷

- Also random but I totally picture him dancing alot with you.

- Its a nice excuse to be close and touch you and hold you tight without being so intense. And he can have fun with it, swirling you around, dipping you suddenly and lifting you up.

- You squeal and giggle a lot because you don't really know what is happening but it's fun and makes your stomach flip when he's holding you like that 🥹

🩷

- If Goldilocks has a bad day.... Well it depends why. If it's because she is missing home or being mopey, Daddy Bear doesn't have much patience for that. He will be kind, but he just reminds you that he is the only one who could look after you so well.

- If it's because you need him, well he's got all the time in the world for that. He'll snuggle up with you, play games and tell you funny stories because he loves you giggling in his lap.

- Maybe he'll take you for a nice walk in the sunshine and then find a suitable tree to fuck you against until you can't even remember your name, let alone what you were sad about.

- Your wellbeing is his top priority so whatever you need, you get.... Sort of 😂

🩷

- If you complimented him?????

- He would be such a goofball about it.

- Firstly because you'd be so shy and cute and he'd know you must have been thinking about it a long time before you could say it.

- But also, he doesn't want to be a monster in your eyes, so when you tell him how handsome he is, or that you loved his gifts, or you are glad he's your daddy bear.... Oh it's just too much.

- He compliments you all day long

- You are perfect, soft, gonna make such a good momma bear, take him so well, always ready, beautiful, everything to him.

- ugh

🩷

- I think you both have separation anxiety tbh! He hates leaving you alone because what if someone finds you and takes you away? He sometimes calls you over the radio at lunchtime and checks in on you.

- You always sit around it at lunchtime waiting for his call and you chat very briefly feeling a little better for it.

- For your part, you hate when he leaves for work. It takes you a few hours to come out of your gloom, wishing you could just sit with him and cuddle all day.

- You distract yourself with chores because you know it makes him happy and that does help.

- But nothing beats when you hear his truck driving down the long road to the cabin.

- You fix your hair and apron and wait eagerly on the deck, bouncing from one foot to the other in excitement.

- Once he's out of the car you run over to him and jump into his waiting arms, kissing his face until your lips meet in a hungry kiss.

"Missed you Daddy Bear" you pout and cling to his arms. He smiles at the routine of it all. "Missed you too Goldilocks"

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Pick the next fic

Click here (part 1) and here (part 2) to choose the fic you want.

the ❗️will be put next to the fics i'm personally excited about and know where to take them while ❓will be put next to the fics i'm excited about but don't know where to take lol so if you have any ideas let me know

YAMQN priest sequel

Incubus gyu takes on the role of a priest in a small town where oc and soobin, a married couple, live. There are two versions of this story, one where oc gets a bad feeling about gyu from the start because he has a weird influence over soobin and she tries to get soobin to distance himself from him, the other is that both oc and soobin frequent the church gyu gets appointed at and they grow closer to him, oc finds him attractive and she feels guilty about it.

Both versions he starts appearing to her in dreams and basically fucking her and she begins to suspect these aren't dreams after all.

2. YAMQN barista sequel❗️

starts off cute but gets progressively darker.

oc is a barista working in a mall and in the holiday season she notices this cute guy dressed up as a christmas elf to gather donations in front of the cafe she works at. she immediately takes a liking to him and starts giving him free coffee in order to talk to him. they like each other and end up dating.

but then oc starts having these weird dreams where gyu is a prince and she's a lady. when she tells him, he gets really weird about it and changes the subject, but she keeps getting more and more of these dreams and eventually she stops talking to gyu about it because it clearly upsets him.

but then she meets this guy at work, taehyun, and she starts having dreams about him too and that's when things truly begin to unravel

3. Perv!soobin full story ❗️

you love yoona, but yoona loves soobin. you hate soobin. you think he's a giant creep and certainly not good enough for your precious girl, but yoona won't listen to you. she believes him to be a sweet, albeit nerdy, guy. you know better. you know he's a pervert and you'll be damned if you let him put his filthy hands on her.

even if it meant you fucking him instead to keep him away from her.

4. stepbro!tyun full story

don't really know where i wanna go with this but stepbro tyun who is so horny for his noona he'll do anything she asks of him.

5. Necromancer!oc and taegyu ❓

oc is a mortician by day and witch by night. aside from the very minor body parts she steals for her dark magic, her jobs do not overlap. until the corpse of a very beautiful young boy, beomgyu, arrives at her table. she doesn't know what compelled her but she just couldn't let the earth claim this one. she had to bring him back and she does.

too bad the boy isn't happy with his return to this earth that he had left voluntarily. oc tries to dispatch him but she can't undo her work so in the meantime she has to take care of him. and boy is he a clingy, teary one.

he requires so much care and attention that she decides to make him a friend, an idea that pops into her head when another boy, taehyun, close to his age arrives at her table.

only, beomgyu doesn't want another boy and he tries to sabotage the spell and fails. or it seemed so at first because taehyun still rises from the dead... except, unbeknownst to either of them, what inhabits the boy's body isn't taehyun.

6. yandere soulmates taegyu ❓

this is one of those fics where your soulmate's name appears on your wrist when you reach 18

you, gyu and tyun have been friends since you were kids. you met gyu first followed by tyun. when you first met tyun he was really nice to you, but when he realized that gyu met you first he became mean. it was only after gyu intervened that tyun became nice again. well, nicer.

as the years passed by, you and gyu became more than friends, and tyun started to distance himself again. still you couldn't care too much. yes, it hurt but you weren't going to beg the guy to be your friend anymore. besides, you have both a best friend and a lover in gyu who you just know is your soulmate.

except when the name finally appears on your wrist, it's taehyun's.

7. arranged marriage prince!gyu (not related to yamqn)

You’re forced to marry prince gyu to secure a political alliance but you hate it. Gyu on the other hand loves you and is ecstatic for the marriage but he quickly realises how unhappy you are and so he keeps trying to get you to love him too

You only have sex with him on your fertile days otherwise you ignore him or give him a hanjob or footjob here and there 

He grows to memorize your days that when they come he's restless the whole day. You like to tease him by staying out late and watching him squirm and try to get your attention to get back home 

basically a cute, femdom fic where oc is kind of a bitch but she grows to love gyu

8. Ceo son!lee know

where you’re a high ranking employee in the company and minho is assigned to you so you can teach him how to run his father's business in the future but he's an absolute menace 

“Are you fucking hard right now?” You exclaim in disbelief, and he quickly covers his crotch with his hands and glances at the door in alarm, hissing, “Shut up.” 

“Now this is just rich.” You laugh mirthlessly, “The arrogant little brat got hard because I was mean to him?”

“No.” He answers in a small voice, but you know it’s true. 

“What a freak.” You disparage, walking towards the door of your office and locking it before walking back to him. You cross your arms over your torso, looking down your nose at his scared expression. “Well then, get to it.” 

9. Puppy hybrid!gyu and best friend kitty!oc

another femdom hybrid fic

The first time you got your bestfriend off was three weeks ago when he was about to ditch you for the umpteenth time to get his dick wet and you were sick of it. You hardly saw him anymore due to his insanely high sex drive. Every time you'd get together, he'd ditch you halfway and go fuck some bitch. 

So you did the only thing you can think of to keep him with you; You pushed him down and blew his brains out. 

You hadn't anticipated how loud he'd be or how hot he'd sound begging.

"Ahh--can I cum?" He had heaved, propped up on his elbows to watch you throat his red, twitching dick. "Please need to cum."

10. Bear!hybrid gyu

another yandere hybrid fic where gyu tricks oc into fucking him lol

You'd been warned growing up to spend your heats alone until meeting your mate because someone could take advantage of you and mate you. 

But when your best friend gyu sneaks up to where you’re kept and offers to spend the time with you, you don’t refuse because it's your first heat and you're nervous. Thinking he'd never hurt you. 

But when the heat starts coming, gyu starts touching you

"Just let me make you feel better."

11. Senior oc and yandere!tyun

oc is a sophomore in college while taehyun is a freshman but she's pretty shy and reserved and often gets walked all over while taehyun is assertive and never lets someone push him over.

He takes an instant liking to oc and starts defending her and kinda controlling her because of it. He makes her school life much better and in return he expects her to be loyal and only have eyes for him and he gets super degrading and mean when she gives even the slightest attention to someone else. they weren't together at first or at least she didn't think so until she made the mistake of accepting another boy's date offer

He was waiting for her when she came back to her dorm

"Isn't that the dress I bought for you?" His fingers trail over the neckline of the dress. "And you're wearing it for other men to enjoy? Do you take me for such a fool?" His fingers dip into your cleavage and you gasp, going to pull away but taehyun immediately grabs you and pulls you to him

12. Fox hybrid!jun and owner!bin

Usually you're on suppressants and all is good but you want your master to fuck you so you secretly stop taking them until your heat comes

Soobin tries to help you through it but it doesn't work as he's a human and you need another fox. He has to get a fox. You're completely against the idea, content with your master barely getting you by but he's having none of it.

He gets yeonjun and you know him. You hate him because he's arrogant. Of course he's used as a stud, every female fox is in love with him and maybe other species too.

You refuse to let yeonjun touch you. Soobin gives you a day alone as a chance but every time yeonjun comes close to you you almost claw his eyes out.

When soobin comes back to see you resisting yeonjun. He grabs you and puts you over his lap, spanking you

"I can't believe you didn't fuck her yet. I paid so much for you "

13. Puppy gyu getting teased by kitten you full fic form ❓

He always liked cats and would get excited when he saw one so his owner got him you.

"Mine?" He asks. 

 He is so excited to approach you and you find it annoying sometimes and endearing sometimes. You eventually relent and let him snuggle you. He adores you. 

He's always hovering around you, even when you change or bathe. You can sense him behind the door waiting for you so you take to leaving the door ajar just to see his dumb eyes peering in to watch you. 

He always scurries to his bed when you come out, complaining that his tummy hurts. 

"Pup's tummy has been hurting a lot lately. Maybe we should tell our owner." 

"No!"

14. teaching your best friend gyu how to fuck full fic ❓

15. werewolf!txt au full fic ❓

you fool around with each of the boys, but which one will be the one for you? you guys pick

16. best of the best full fic

17. high stakes (yangyang or gyu)

Maybe you were stupid to actively seek out slayers. Most of your kind avoided them because naturally they wanted to say undead. But you'd gotten bored of the undead life despite being a relatively new vampire. You've done everything, seen everything that you wanted to see and now you were bored. You wanted to seek out a thrill in life and at this point very few things could get your blood going, a life or death altercation with a slayer being one of them. 

You knew you had to be smart about it. You weren't the strongest or fastest vampire out there. If you wanted to take out a slayer, you had to use your wit, and you pride yourself in having that to spare. 

basically oc is a vampire that hunts slayers and kills them. it was originally a yangyang fic but i could change it. it's dark obviously and oc and the slayer are insane lmao.

[strwberri-milk]

hello! may i request valentine's day with kaeya? 💕💕

bc i dont wanna post this too late im posting it pretty quickly!! i was gonna do more of a fic but ive got a lot of work to do so!! just doing this hc/drabble format helps me mitigate the time it normally would - it's also going to be posted at not my normal time for the same reason !!! this is actually pretty long but!! it is only lightly proofread and will be read over properly later!! there is a Valentines Day Crisis i am going to go resolve but!! i hope yall have a good day <3

Valentine's day is...a little stressful for Kaeya. He's not too sure what he wants to do for you, sure that even if he were to take the planets out of the solar system it still wouldn't be enough to prove to you just how much he loves you. Buying gifts is also hard since he buys you so many little trinkets whenever he spots something that reminds him of you.

Ultimately, he decides to put himself out of his comfort zone, inviting you over for a homecooked meal, complete with a few courses and a handmade dessert. It took him forever to learn how to make it, cramming in cooking lessons between his patrols and spending time with you but it's all worth it to see you smile.

The preparations for this special holiday began well before, Kaeya making sure that not a single thing was out of place. Everything was going to be the epitome of perfection, having everything prepared down to the placement of cutlery on the table.

It wasn't within his nature to be so precisewhen it came to doing anything with you, loving the look on your face as he acted spontaneously, but this was something he did not want to risk.

Kaeya takes a deep breath when he hears your knock on the door, running through his mental checklist one more time before finally letting you into his home. The smile you wear is so bright he doesn't think he needs the lights of the candles to brighten up the room. No, just your presence was enough.

"How are you?" you greet, pulling him in for a kiss that he happily returns.

"I'm doing alright," he replies, clearing his throat to try and eliminate the last minute nerves.

"Much better now that you're here."

"Oh, as if I haven't heard that one before," you roll your eyes, following after him as he leads you to his dining room.

Already, you can see the beginnigs of a lavish meal being put doiwn, about to sit when he interrupts your motions and pulls out the chair for you. You chuckle a little, entertained by this extra chivalrous knight persona he was wearing today.

"How kind of you sir," you joke, making him laugh softly in kind.

"Well, only thebest for the love of my life, don't you think?" he says softly, making your heart flutter a little.

"It is Valentine's after all, and just asking you in a grandiose way wasn't enough for me."

You think back to how he asked you, remembering the giant bouquet he insisted on buying and the lovely little poem he wrote and attached to the flowers.

As you ponder, you feel him press a kiss to your cheek, looking up at him adoringly.

"Have I told you I love you?" you say dreamily, making his hear melt.

"Yes, you have," he replies, sitting you down and helping serve your meal.

You didn't know what else to expect after dinner. The two of you were a little tired from your daily routine anyway, finding the time today to spend together to be enough for you. Maybe another day you can make a grand spectacle of it but not right now.

Instead, you focus your attention on returning his lavish attention and flirting with him, loving the way he averts his gaze when your sweetened words are too much for him to handle. However, he retaliates by upping the ante, both of you caught in some battle of affection. That comes to an end.

"Dessert is served," Kaeya says proudly, brandishing a plate of chocolates he made himself. Your eyes go wide, the intricate looking snowflakes decorated prettily on the plate making you gasp.

"Kaeya! This looks incredible. You made these?"

"All by myself," he huffs, taking one off and bringing it to your lips.

"Here, give it a taste."

You take a bite, happily chewing when you reach a creamy center. He can't look any happier you think, practically vibrating as he watches your reaction.

"Well? What do you think? Good?"

"It's amazing! I can't believe you did all this!"

"Anything for my beloved," he replies, taking a piece for himself.

You suddenly remember that your chocolates are definitely not up to par, simply a package you bought. That's not to say they weren't nice - they just paled in comparison severely when it came to your boyfriend's efforts.

"Well? What about mine?"

He pulls you into his chest by your waist, looking at you expectantly.

"You were carrying a bag when you came in here and I can only assume it's filled with sweets for me."

"Well...yes," you say hesitantly, pushing against his chest slightly.

"Then? Won't you give it to me?"

"I could, but they're not as good as yours," you mutter, fiddling with your hands.

"And?" he asks again.

"You still want them?" you say, surprised. "They're not that great Kaeya."

"They come from you, so as far as I'm concerned they're amazing. Is that not good enough for you?" he pouts again, making you sigh and get the package.

He was right. He didn't really care where they were from as long as they came from you. Honestly, you probably could have given him a rock and he would have reacted just as happily, hugging you tightly and telling you how this was the best day ever.

You couldn't help but laugh at his antics, hugging him close as you planned how to make it up to him next year.

[one-coming-is-enough]

I wanna hear about your beef with Mr. Claus, if you don't mind.

I've been sleeping on this ask for a minute, and it's time, honestly. I've had such a busy holiday season already, it's crazy! I mean, this year in addition to all the zombies, I'm trying to get through the training videos for taking over Hell, and they're meandering, awkward, and full of incoherent jargon. It's just a lot!

But the 6th was St. Nicholas's Day, and tonight it's Hanukkah, so I should definitely answer this one.

St. Nicholas is a decent guy, if a little stiff-necked. His thing is giving dowries to poor women so they don't have to go into sex work. And also bringing poor children back to life after they're sold for stew meat.

(Also, he was the one who proposed at the Council of Nicea that Easter be celebrated on the first full moon after the spring equinox, which tied it to the solar calendar instead of the lunar calendar. Granted, this was to reduce the Jewish influence on the religion, but it also made it easier for Me to celebrate Passover, and I really like Passover.)

So St. Nicholas Day ends up being a day where, instead of finding the nearest whore and offering to fund her marriage (sex work is work), you give money and presents to children. You can see the connection, yeah? Make sure kids have what they need growing up and they won't go hoing to make ends meet. Or have to be made into stew.

Meanwhile, we have this spirit over in the East called Ded Moroz, or Grandpa Frost. He's just, like, an old guy who freezes stuff. He'll take your kids if they wander out in the cold like you told the little bastards not to do.

And because of cultural drift, the duties of Ded Moroz get shifted over to Odin, another dude from the East. Originated somewhere between the steppes of Mongolia and Turkey, as far as anyone knows, finally made his way to Sweden and even the British Isles. Odin is now the Yulefather, the freezer of water and collector of the dead in the dying part of the year. Makes sense, because He's a wind god, since air is the element connected with Spirit at this time. (This is true for Hebrew and Latin, too! Pneuma and ru'ach.)

Well, the church doesn't like that Ded Moroz is a spooky guy who takes souls, decides he's a demon. But people like their Ded Moroz a lot. So now, instead of being a demon who takes souls, he's... Well, who do we have that's also from the East, Turkey specifically, and who is associated with giving or taking something, especially regarding children?

We have St. Nicholas! Who gives children presents instead of taking their souls, and coincidentally can calm the storm (of wind) that so often takes the souls of those lost outside in the cold. And his holiday is just under 20 days before Yule Xmas it's Christmas now. (Or, Yuletide. You know, whatever. Sheol is Hades now, who gives a shit.)

So it all gets kinda muddled up. Odin, St. Nick, Ded Moroz. Father Frost, Father Solstice, Father Christmas.

Well, I'm hanging out in the Holy Roman Empire, and I hear about this guy known as Sinterklaas. I think it's my old buddy and trusted employee Nicholas of Myra, who as far as I know has been buying, freeing, and funding the education and/or startups of slaves for as long as that's been possible. (He has six to eight African guys he ended up hiring on as assistants.) And I hear he's giving out not just coins and oranges, which prevent scurvy, but also toys and candy. And Nicholas of Myra is a good man, but he had zero sense of humor or fun and would never give a kid candy ("it rots your teeth, at least have an orange").

So I track down this Klaus, whom the kids also call Kris Kringle. I hear the kids have been doing all sorts of weird rituals to him, like the Spanish Yule log that shits candy, or the little pooping guy they hide in the Nativity scene (also Spanish, now that I think about it. What the fuck did the Inquisition do to people's brains over there?). And that he has a creepy BDSM goat called the Krampus for an assistant, who's in charge of dealing out the punishment to bad kids (that one's German and I thought it was just, like, the nation's id or something).

And he's smol. I mean, this guy is fucking Thumbelina sized. Roughly round, jolly as fuck, red fur trimmed in white, pointy toque beanie to match, and a miniature sleigh with eight tiny reindeer. Telltale pointed ears. Sparkling all over like they do.

Eight transmuted beings. Sleipnir (Dasher), Shiva and Baal Marquad (Dancer, Prancer), a kitsune (Vixen), a fallen star (Comet), Eros Himself (Cupid), and Thunder and Lightning -- Thor and Loki. Donner and Blitzen.

It's an entire Neil Gaiman novella of folks who've, I dunno, lost some kind of bet to him.

Okay. So he's one of The Neighbors. Gotta be careful.

I greet him like he's my old buddy Nicholas. I ask him how the soul collection is going and ask to see his inventory. He demurs, but I remind him that I'm his boss and they'll all come to Me eventually anyway. I just want to see if I think he ought to put any back. Oh, and can I just scan your company badge so I can establish that you made your check-in?

Well, I'm bluffing really hard, but he doesn't know that. He says he lost it. I tell him I'll wait with the souls until he gets back -- actually, whoa, looks like he's got a full load there. I'll take them in Myself.

That's when he laughs and says, "Well, Jesus, looks like You caught Me fair and square tonight. But how's about you and I make a deal? I'll spread Your Word and tell children to be good. And I will tell them to give to others all year round, because that's the spirit of Christmas. If they are good all year round, doing what their parents say, I will give them presents. If they are not good all year round -- which is to say, they don't do what their parents tell them to earn Christmas presents -- I will not give them presents. Fair?"

Note the wording carefully. Note where there's an and, and where there's not an and.

This works for a while. And then this song comes out.

Something seems wrong if kids are getting Santa presents according to the wealth of their parents, not their goodness over the year.

Then I find out that the primary metric by which Santa distributes presents is no longer behavior, but belief.

Not in Me.

In SANTA CLAUS.

I storm into his North Pole office yelling idolatry and he's got a fucking elven lawyer underlining shit. He didn't convert. He only promised to encourage charity. He didn't promise presents for charity, it's just for kids doing what their parents say they need to in order to get gifts, and right now that's belief in him.

I'm fucking steamed and he points out that I do exactly the same thing. Instead of doing good works or seeing the Divine in others regardless of social status or even fighting for equality here on Earth, Heaven has gotten twisted around to the point where believing in Me alone -- not what I stand for, which at this point can be nearly anything, but just the idea that I existed and did the Thing -- is considered sufficient acceptance criteria.

And I can't argue with that but I hate it. I hate that it's come to that. I hate what My section of Heaven looks like these days. I personally have been pleading for them to enact stringent, clearer, and above all objective metrics of entry, but I'm outnumbered in My own 5D connected consciousness in that opinion!!!

So. Fuck that guy. I'd literally rather you just worship Odin for Yule flat-out than fuck with Santa Claus, because at least He has solid advice for living and a comprehensive afterlife system.

I don't know what Santa Claus is doing with all that belief except get bigger, and it really scares Me.