#but i follow them on instagram so i know that they’re 1. queer now and 2. insanely cool and pretty and UGH.

[parkitaco]

who am i if not constantly pining for ppl i lost contact with years ago

[nczaversnick]

Writerly Questionnaire

Thanks to @willtheweaver for the tag!

How long have you had you’re writing tumblr/writblr? A fast and loose estimate is fine!

I’ve been here only, like, two months I think? Which is kinda crazy honestly.

What led you to create it?

I find it’s so much easier to get excited about my writing when other people are excited too. Besides I’m the face of this operation for Project Gemini and after years of failure on Instagram I gave up for several years until my roommate pointed out that I might actually like being on tumblr and I figured it deserved a fair try.

What’s your favorite thing about the community?

I love how excited everyone is about everyone else’s projects. It kinda blows my mind

What’s one thing you’d like your mutuals to know about you?

I will answer literally any question to the best of my ability.

Also, to those of you who are big fans of specific characters (I’m talking about you @honeybewrites and @the-letterbox-archives ), I fucking love that you have a favorite. Mine and Rachelle’s favorite is Adrian, her second favorite is Iris and my second favorite is the guards talking about chili cheese fries in the middle of the big climax of Book 1. They don’t have names but they’re in every draft

Is there anything you’d like to see more of on your dash?

Nothing comes to mind

WIP

Which WIP are you noodling about lately?

Well, I’ve only got the one, Project Gemini. We’re working on detailing the outline to break down what happens in each chapter. But while that’s been happening, while I’m at work I’ve been pondering what Adrian would be like in the Arc of a Scythe universe

How long have you been working on them?

I had the initial idea roughly.. 15 years ago I think? The first draft was written 10 years ago. I’m currently on draft 5 or, really, draft 1 of version 3

Do you remember what inspired them/ what got you started?

When I was 8 years old a friend of mine on the playground offhandedly made a comment some kind of magical being that was half ice and half fire. And it just stuck.

When someone asks “what do you write about?” What do you say?

Queer people overthrowing the government what else would I write about?

What do you want to say (if it’s different from what you do say)?

I think I was pretty clear the first time lol

Let’s rotate Blorbos

Name any character you’ve created, and I mean any:

Listen I’ve been writing for over a decade. There’s no way I’ll get everyone. So here’s several:

Caspian, Adrian, Aurelia, Iris, Mason, Quinn, Athena, Lucia, Resin, Filick, Nic, Weston, Atlas, Flynn, Jacob, Lily, Audrey, Micah, Ikaris, Faldris, Helvar, Mara, Flynn, Atlas’s, Dimitri, Cyrus, Jaron, Abraxis

Who’s the most unhinged:

Good lord who even knows?

Who comes most naturally to write:

Definitely Nic or Adrian, as they’re both the oldest

Do you ever cringe at them:

Sometimes, especially those early versions of Adrian

How much control do you feel you have over them? Aka do they ever “write themselves” or refuse to cooperate or do thing you don’t expect? To what degree? Are some less cooperative than others?

Oh I don’t have any. Rachelle doesn’t understand when I say things like “I won’t know the answer to that until the little Iris in my brain bother to tell me”

Some are more cooperative than others, I feel like Aurelia is always around sometimes. Mason is impossible. He’s uncooperative both in my head and in the story, which unfortunately is very on brand for him. But it also means I know basically nothing about him right now.

To get around this I tend to write snippets that sort of circle around the actual question I want answered until I manage to get it

Do you enjoy people asking about your characters? And do you have a preferred method of receiving said questions?

Do I enjoy what is probably my favorite kind of interaction of all time?

And no I don’t have a preference.

On Writblr Engagement

What makes you want to follow another writeblr account?

Good vibes. I usually check out anyone who follows me anyway

What makes you decide against following?

Besides the obvious answer of discrimination and bigotry, the answer is also vibes. If you fail the vibe check, I won’t follow.

Do you interact with non-mutuals often?

Oh yeah all the time. I keep forgetting that some people are mutuals and some aren’t lol

Tagsss:

@honeybewrites @wyked-ao3 @kittrrrr @zackprincebooks @fractured-shield @theverumproject @the-letterbox-archives @the-golden-comet @poppycat-writes @davycoquette @moltenwrites @finickyfelix @kuebiko-writing @illarian-rambling @yourpenpaldee

[wandering-wolf23]

I posted 25,514 times in 2022

That's 6,352 more posts than 2021!

128 posts created (1%)

25,386 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sl-walker

@scientistservant

@problematic-faves-appreciation

@kedreeva

@yharnamsnewslug

I tagged 315 of my posts in 2022

#dispatches - 258 posts

#original content? on this blog? - 143 posts

#discourse related - 33 posts

#in light of recent events - 32 posts

#lgbt fantasy - 22 posts

#fantasy novel - 20 posts

#wolf pack - 18 posts

#asexual characters - 17 posts

#indie author - 17 posts

#anits are idiots - 17 posts

Longest Tag: 77 characters

#i was downvoted to hell because i said even awful people deserve human rights

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

A tale of found family, daring do, and a quest through the very heart of a cursed forest...

Magic brought Danel to the WildWood and nearly killed him in the process. What good is a crippled knight? No one will hire him and he's forced to eke out a living as a knight errant. It's a hard life, but someone has to do it. When he comes across a half Fae wanderer in the forest and hears of a healing pool, he jumps at the chance to find it. 

Aldyn used to be Prince Magnus of the Ten Isles, but a coup led by his illegitimate sister has left him burned and alone in the WildWood. Finding Danel - and learning that he could use a little healing - is better luck than he's had in years. He didn't count on the ravens, though, or drawing the attention of every nasty beast that calls the WildWood home.

What should have been a simple quest quickly turns into a fight against forces neither one of them could even imagine... and becomes a race against time to find the pools before anyone else.

46 notes - Posted June 6, 2022

#4

Antis telling people they’re going to hell will never not be funny to me.

This is exactly what the evangelical church told me for being queer, so miss me with that bull shit.

47 notes - Posted February 14, 2022

#3

The best thing about being proship is that I don't have to give a fuck about someone else's standards of morality in my work.

Don't like it? Then don't fucking read.

51 notes - Posted February 7, 2022

#2

Security PSA

Look, this is real talk. I’m going to put aside my opinions about fiction for a moment and talk about something that has been bothering me for awhile.

Antis, if you are going to call proshippers out on apps like TikTok or Instagram (hell, even Tumblr or Twitter!), do not put your real face in the video. Do not use your name, birth date, or anything else that might identify you. Proshippers, if you are going to call out antis, the above applies to you.

Why? Because if you do, that video is going to follow you around. Videos are downloaded, posted to other sites, and otherwise preserved in ways that you can’t destroy just by deleting the video. It also becomes blackmail material and can bar you from jobs that require a background check or a security clearance.

Please be careful. I see so many young people on this site and many others who do not know basic internet safety/cyber security. It’s scary. It makes minors far more vulnerable to predators than they might be otherwise.

There are predators on the internet and in every community. You are never truly safe on the web. There are very bad people hiding under the guise of being a “safe” adult who want to hurt you for some sick thrill.

Please be careful, both for your safety now and your life later on down the road.

306 notes - Posted November 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

As a proshipper, it is not my problem if children wander into an area that is clearly marked for them to avoid. If they can't monitor their own internet usage, they have their parents and a multitude of internet apps.

If the dove is dead, don't be surprised to see maggots when you open the bag. Your inability to heed warnings is not my problem

390 notes - Posted November 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Sat 10 April ‘21

Louis posted pics!! Two black and white pics of himself smoking and playing guitar and looking all tough and cool (look at that beard he’s been hiding under the masks! OMG.) He’s wearing a cap in the pictures, yes of course- but stop complaining about his hair being hidden people, cause WHAT A CAP IT IS! It’s got a triangle on it, with a skull in it, and the skull is wearing a laurel wreath AND has a rose in it’s teeth. Oh yeah: and the brand? ‘NEW ERA.’ You can say those things don’t mean anything til you’re blue in the face but 1) it doesn’t even matter at this point what the world means by them, LOUIS knows very well what significance the fandom places on them and 2) yes triangles really are a queer symbol, watching this fandom argue that maybe triangles aren’t REALLY a gay thing is just sincerely the weirdest shit I have ever encountered. SO anyway: triangle, queer symbol, and with Louis in particular, associated with him via his tattoo. Skull, well who the fuck knows EXACTLY at this point but like when you know you know; I feel like it used to be more specific but now has become a nod from him to us about, well, all of it? Like a signal about the fact that yes, he does send us signals to decode. And laurel wreaths and roses are both tattoos of Harry’s that Louis has referenced in ways that link to that meaning multiple times before. So THAT’S a lot, even without him making the cover photo of his post be the one with his face angled down so the cap logo is the main focus of it with only the second one showing his face.

Charlie Lightening posted uncropped versions of the same pics and said “Good to see you lad, always a pleasure hanging out. Good things to come”, Jamie Hartman (Louis’ main cowriter for Walls and, from what he’s told us, LT2) said, “I love that you're not afraid to be a rockstar in an era where most artists are so squeaky clean”, and Sergio Agüero, the football player Louis followed the other day, commented “my bro”. Maybe they’re just new friends or whatever but… hear me out… this guy just left his team contract and it isn’t clear what he’s up to now… that organization just posted the other day about asking Louis to play in a charity match… what if??! *dreams big* Also Louis left Mexico City-- there was video of an awkward fan encounter at the airport (wearing the same shirt as in the insta pics, king of traveling light) as him and Oli seem to be mostly succeeding at getting through unseen, and try to dodge the fan who spotted them (“sorry, COVID” and “the starbucks line is over there,” lolll). The Daily Mail article about Louis’ post (“Louis Tomlinson drives fans wild as he returns to Instagram for the first time in FOUR MONTHS“) consists of about 10% coverage of Louis’ post, and then a loooong and extremely detailed round up of all the abuse allegations against The X Factor, Simon Cowell, and Syco. And in case you were wondering if the new louies you’d heard about were a real thing, today’s post has ALREADY become Louis’ second most commented on instagram post… EVER! And by like A LOT too. Holy shit you guys, LT2 is truly going to fucking EXPLODE; even tour is going to be madness by the time it happens! I wonder if they’re thinking about adding more shows or bigger venues for whatever the final dates end up being.

[renidrag]

I literally can’t stop thinking about how the finale is going to play out for Greta and Riley and was wondering if you could give me your theories if you have any.

Like we know that they’re finally going to talk to each other but who do you think is going to initiate the conversation? What’s going to happen that they finally breakdown and talk? Also, what do you think is going on with Luz? Do you think she’s the one that tells Greta about her and Riley or does Riley tell her herself? Why else would Luz be at the party though? I’m having such a hard time picturing how it’s all going to play out in this one episode. Like there’s so much that needs to be addressed will it even end on a good note for them?? If the season ends with them on bad terms and we don’t get a season 2 I’ll be devastated.

Sorry that’s a lot of questions but I just want to know how you think it’s all gonna go down. I’ve loved reading all of your other theories and analyses!

alright alright let me answer this question by question lmao but this is all speculation ofc because I have NO IDEA

because the pics we have of the conversation are in riley's room and because she's been the one to try to initiate conversation the past three times we've seen them talk - in ep 14 when riley yells at greta, the 'wow greta you look great' line (still can't believe she said this on a group facetime aljsfdjsald) and their final almost-convo in ep 15 - it seems most likely that it will be riley who pulls her aside so that they can be alone in a room together (for like the third time ever!!!) and so that she can finally hear the end of 'actually I wanted to tell you'

on the other hand I'm also thinking that maybe greta has had enough of being interrupted. she's been trying to have this out with riley for so long that maybe on this third attempt she just shuts them in a room together so that she can say her piece. if she's been thinking over this one conversation and all the different ways it could go endlessly for days then maybe she just hits the point where she can't hold it in for a second longer

from the sneak peek where greta says 'I can like someone, like really like them' the only thing that makes sense to me is her explaining that she is actually extremely into riley, that she can really like someone if she's connected with them and that that person is riley. in the hug at the end of the sneak peek greta looks like she's crying so I've seen people speculate that it's like a goodbye hug or something, but if I had finally spilled my guts to this girl that I'm all in on I'd probably be bawling too. maybe riley pulls her in to tell her that everything is going to be alright, and that she's valid and that riley still likes her so much no matter what?? they're always so tentative with touching each other and the only other time they've hugged it was pretty brief and awkward at x files night, so that hug honestly just looks like relief to me. it must feel so good for both of them just to hold onto each other like that - a mirror of the hug between chester and riley in ep 14. some people just make you feel correct

in terms of luz being there, the afterparty at riley's house is filled with a bunch of other random people from their school like the party in the pilot so it's not weird to me that she's there. maybe luz is regretting giving up on greta and is coming back for a second try, or maybe she's just there to either have a good time or start drama idk at this point

this dialogue from ep 15 has me really interested to see whether riley chooses to perpetuate her dad's cycle of dishonesty because she feels she has no choice, or if she decides to diverge from this doomed path that she thinks is set for her because of who her parents are

if they're doing it just for the drama then she's obviously going to keep it from greta and then luz will come along to ruin everything, but I think it would be much more interesting for them to queer this narrative of untruth and subvert those expectations that we have. riley's not stupid, she knows it's going to hurt greta but I would love if they let her realise that keeping this from greta now is just going to make things worse in the long run

she already has that threat of 'not yet' from luz hanging over her head, and it would be so cool and different for there to be this conversation between the two of them that is just completely honest and sets them up with a clean slate to continue their relationship on. not that I think it will happen really but I'd also love for greta to hear about the hook up and tell riley 'okay I understand that you were upset that night and that made you act in a way that you regret. I don't hate you, you're not a bad person and you're not your dad' rather than being some massive shocking revelation, like that kind of patience and acceptance of trauma is something that we never really see

I really hope that riley tells greta everything that's happening with her home life as well. the 'stuff I don't wanna tell you' line was so pointed and I need her to know that greta is literally just worried because she cares about her so much, and that she honestly does just want to hear what riley's struggling with so she can help her carry that load. we've had two specific instances in ep 1 and ep 9 (funny how the two halves of the season start with this) where riley and greta have been trying to check in and ask the other if they're okay and also get interrupted, so this is finally a chance to not only talk about their own feelings but everything outside of that as well

I really hope this season will end on a good note. obviously they won't be able to resolve everything but even just having a little moment of something at the end of the episode, like that quiet car ride with that tiny hopeful uptick that is bo replying to chester at the end of ep 8 is kind of enough for me as long as we get a season two. I've said this before but ending a season of a show about queer people on some cliffhanger of pain and misery and chaos just seems like the absolute wrong message for any creator who is also queer to send. like that's why we make art that represents ourselves, to tell kids that it does get better, and there is hope and light and love at the end of the tunnel

not to compare this show to euphoria because I think it’s reductive but there's this thing that sam levinson says about his show that I think really applies here too with how zelda and her dads talk about this show and it makes me feel at least a little bit optimistic about this final episode:

'It’s about how if you keep your heart open, there are people who can change your life, and it’s about love, and it’s a show about being seen and heard and known. It doesn’t cure everything but it sure as fuck helps.'

if you've gotten through this and you have twitter or instagram then go follow the official accounts, tweet something about how much you love this show and hashtag #renewgeneration so that we actually DO get a season 2 :-)

[freddiekluger]

Why Cap Being Internally Closeted Is Not Only Possible, But Valid Representation 

i wrote this to a lot of mitski and onsind, so you can’t blame me for any feelings that bleed through

now i don’t know if it actually exists, but i’ve heard of there being a lot of discourse surrounding the captains story arc regarding his sexuality- i believe the general gist is that having a queer character that remains closeted to themselves is either unrealistic or ‘bad’ representation, and as someone who really treasures the captain and relates to his story so far a lot, i thought i might break this down a bit. 

i’ve divded up every complaint i’ve heard about this into four main questions which i’ll be covering below the ‘keep reading’, because this is gonna be pretty comprehensive. full disclaimer i reference my experiences as an ex-evangelical non binary butch lesbian a couple times, and i spent a year studying repression and the psychological impacts of high demand sexual ethics for my graduating sociology paper, so this is coming with some background to it i swear

the big questions:

can you EVEN be gay and not know it????

but isn't this just ANOTHER coming out arc, and aren't we supposed to be moving beyond those?

but if cap can't have a relationship with a man because he's a ghost, what's the point?

since cap's dead, isn't this technically bury your gays, and isn't that bad? 

1. "but is it really possible to not know? Isn't that bad representation?"

short answer: no and no.

before i get into the validity of the captain's ignorance about his own orientation as 21st century rep, let's break down how the hell the captain can be so clearly attracted to men and still not even consider the possibility that he might be gay, as brought to you by someone who literally experienced this shit.

the captain's particular situation is both a direct result of the lack of information around human sexuality he would have had (aka clear messaging that it's actually possible for him to be attracted to men. i don't mean acceptable or allowed, i mean physically capable of happening- the idea that orientations other than heterosexual exist and are available to him, a man), and a subconscious survival mechanism. the environment in which he lives is outright hostile to gay people, while the military man identity he has constructed for himself doesn't allow for any form of deviation from societal norms, let alone one so base level and major. as a result of this killer combo of information and environment, instincts take over and the mind does it's best to repress the ‘deviant’ feelings until a. one of these two things changes, or b. the act of repression becomes so destructive and/or exhuasting that it becomes impossible to maintain. the key to maintaining a long-term state of repression of desire is diverting that energy elsewhere, and a high-demand group such as the military is the perfect place for the captain to do this (this technqiue is frequented by religions and extremist ideologies worldwide, but that’s not really what we’re here to focus on). 

while the brain is actively repressing ‘deviant’ feelings (aka gay shit), this doesn't mean you don't experience the feelings at all. when performed as a subconscious act of survival, the aim of repression is to minimise/transform the feelings into a state where they can no longer cause immediate danger, and something as big as sexual/romantic orientation is going to keep popping up, but as long as the individual in question never understands what they’re feeling, they’ll be able to continue relatively undisturbed. you know how in heist movies, the leader of the group will only tell each team member part of the plan so they can’t screw things up for everyone else if they get caught? it’s kind of like that.

this is how the captain appears to have operated in life AND in death, and it’s a relatively common experience for lgbtq people who’ve grown up in similar circumstances (aka with a lack of information and in an unfriendly-to-hostile environment), and accounts for how some people can even go on to get married and have children before realising that they’re gay and/or trans. 

personally, while i can now identify what were strong homo crushes all the way back to childhood, at the time i genuinely had no idea. there was the underlying sense that i probably shouldn't tell people how attached i was to these girls because i would seem weird, and that my feelings were stronger than the ones other people used to describe friendships, but like-like them in the way that other girls like-liked boys? no way! actually scratch that, it wasn't even a no way, because i had no idea that i even could. i even had my own havers, at least in terms of the emotional hold and devotion she got from me, except she treated me way less well than cap’s beau. snatches of the existence of lgbt people made it through the cone of silence, i definitely heard the words gay and lesbian, but my levels of informations mirrored those that the captain would have had: virtually none, beyond the idea that these words exist, some people are them, and that's not something that we support or think is okay, so let's just not speak about it. despite only attending religious schools for the first couple years of primary, until i got my own technology and social media accounts to explore lgbtq content on my own- option a out of the two catalysts for change- the possibility of me being gay was not at all on my radar. don’t even get me started on how long it took me to explore butchness and my overall gender, two things which now feel glaringly obvious. 

when shit starts to break down, you can also make the conscious choice to repress which can delay the eventual smashing down of the mental closet door for a time (essentially when the closet door starts to open, you just say ‘no thanks’ and shut it again by pointedly Not Thinking About It). in the abscence of identifying yourself by your attractions, it becomes quite common to identify with a lack- in my case, this meant becoming proud of how sensible and not boy crazy i was, and in the captain’s case, this means becoming proud of how sensible and not sensuous/wild (aka woman crazy) he was, identifying with his LACK of desire for women and partying (which, even in the 40s, involved the expectation of opposite sex romances and hook ups). i’m not saying that’s the only reason he’s a rule follower, but i think the contrast between About Last Night and Perfect Day pretty much support this. (the captain getting on his high horse about general party antics that he inherently felt excluded from because of underlying awareness of his difference & his tendency to project his regimented expectations of himself onto others, vs. joining in the reception party, awareness of how the environment supports difference in the form of clare and sam, and relaxing his own rules by dancing with men- the captain doesn’t mind a party when feels like he has a place there.)

so the captain was operating in a high demand, highly regulated environment (primarily the military, but also early 20th century England itself), with regimented roles, rules, and expectations. working on the assumption that he wouldn't have had out/disclosing lgbt friends, he would have had little to no exposure to lgbt identities, and what information he did receive would have been hushed and negatively geared. while my world started to open up when i started high school was allowed to have my own phone + instagram account, resulting in me realising something wasn't quite 'right' within a few years (making me a relatively early realiser compared to those who don't come out to themselves until adulthood), in life the captain never had that experience. he didn't receive the information he needed, his environment didn't grow less hostile. with the near-exception of havers related heartbreak, his well disciplined and lifelong method of repression never became destructive/exhaustive enough to permanently override the danger signals in his mind and allow him to put his feelings into words. neither of the most common catalysts for change happened for him, so he continued as usual, even after his death.

BUT, and here’s where we come to why this is actually great representation, arrival of mike and Alison represents the opening up of new world. for the first time, the captain is actively made aware of the fact that his environment is no longer hostile, and better than that, it’s affirming. he’s also getting access to positively geared information about lgbtq people and identities, so option a of the two catalysts for change is absolutely present, and resoundingly positive. 

the captain’s arc is also relatively unique as it acknowledges the oppressive nature of his environment, but actually focuses on the internal consequences, and the way that systems like those that the captain lived in succeed because they turn us into our own oppressors. for whatever reason, we repress ourseslves, and often can’t help it, and i find that the significance of the journey to overcome that is often overlooked in more mainstream queer media. perhaps it’s just not very cinematic, or it remains too confronting for cishet audiences, but ghosts manages to touch on it with a lovely amount of humour and hope. Jamie Babbit’s But I’m A Cheerleader is another favourite piece of queer media for the same reasons.

not only does it show this, but as the captain continues to get gayer and lean into some of his less conventional traits (like an interest in fashion and the wedding planning), it shows lgbt people who have been or are going through this that there CAN be a positive outcome. it takes a lot to unlearn all the things that have painted you as wrong, especially when a massive institution is desperate to continue doing so, but you can do it, you can be happy, and it's never too late. (i've been meaning to say that last point for ages for ages, but a mutual beat me to it here)

2. not just another coming out arc

i absolutely support the demand for queer stories that don’t center around coming out (it’s like shrodinger’s queer: if you’re not coming out on screen, do you really even exist?), but i don’t align with the criticisms that the captain should already be out. for the reasons mentioned above, the captain’s particular story is fairly different to the ‘young white teenager who mostly knows gay is fine, it’s just everyone else that’s got the problem, but have a unremarkably straight sounding soundtrack, a trauma porn romance, and a cishet saviour’ that we keep seeing. the captain’s ongoing journey with his sexuality emphasises the overaching theme of the show: recovering from trauma and humanity’s endless capacity for growth, and i think that’s worth showing over and over again until it stops being true.

additionally, while the captain’s journey regarding his gayness is a big part of his character and story, ghosts makes it clear that it’s not the ONLY part, and being gay is far from his ONLY characteristic or dramatic/comedic engine. the fact that i’m even having to congratulate ghosts for doing that really shows how much film and television is struggling huh.

while all queer media is, and should be, subject to criticism, i think if it helps even one person then it absolutely deserves to exist, and i can say i’ve found the captain’s journey to be the lgbt story i’ve found that’s closest to my own, which says a lot considering he’s a dead world war 2 soldier who hangs out with other ghosts including a slutty Tory, a georgian noblewoman, and a literal caveman. 

3. if captain gay, why he no have boyfriend???? 

another complaint that’s been circulating is that since the captain doesn’t, and likely won’t, have a boyfriend, that makes him Bad Representation because it follows the sad single gay trope. i kind of get the logic from this one, and a lot of it is up to personal interpretation, but part of me really enjoys the fact that the captain’s journey towards accepting himself is separated from having a relationship.

coming out is often paired with having romantic/sexual relationships (either as the reason or reward for doing so). my own struggle with repression didn't end the second that came out, and i still struggle with letting myself develop & acknowledge romantic feelings as a result of actively shutting them (and most other feelings in general) down for years, and statistics show that lgbtq youth in particular tend not to live out their 'teen years' until their twenties. by not giving cap a relationship straight away, ghosts separates the act of claiming identity and sexual orientation from finding a partner (two things which are, more often than not, separate), and also provides some very nice validation to folks who have yet to have the relationship they want, especially when lots of mainstream queer media is now jumping on the cishet media bandwagon of acting as if every person loses their virginity and has a life defining relationship at sixteen. it’s essentially a continuation of the earlier theme of “it’s never too late”, and who’s to say the captain won’t get a gay bear ghost boyfriend to go haunt nazis with??? people die all the time, it could happen.

(also, i think him and julian will have definitely shagged at least once. it was a low moment for both of them and they refuse to speak of it.)

lots of asexual/ace spectrum fans have come out to say how much they’ve loved being able to headcanon cap as ace, and while that’s not a headcanon i personally have, i think it’s brilliant that ace fans feel seen by his character- we’re all in this soup together babey (and sorry for cursing everyone still reading this with that cap/julian headcanon. i’m just a vessel)

4. “okay, but cap’s a GHOST- doesn’t that make this Bury Your Gays?”

this is a bit of a complex one, but i’m going to say no as a result of the following break down.

Bury Your Gays (BYG), aka the trope where lgbtq characters are consistently killed off (and often with a heavy dose of trauma, while cishet characters survive) is probably one of my least favourite lgbt media tropes. BYG has two main points:

1. the lgbt character is killed, thus removing them from story entirely- hence the use of the phrase ‘killed OFF’ (killed off of the show/film)

2. the character’s death reinforces the perception that lgbtq people’s lives must end in tragedy, instead of being long and fulfilling, or are inherently less valuable. bonus points if the character is killed in a hate crime or confesses same-gender love right before they die (that one implies that queer love genuinely has no future!)

not every death of an lgbtq character is bury your gays, and i personally feel that the captain is an example of an lgbt death that isn’t. 

first of all, while the captain is dead, so are the vast majority of characters in ghosts. the premise of the show means that death is not the end of the line for its characters- for most of them, it’s the only reason we get to see them on screen at all. as such, the captain being dead doesn’t remove him from the story, so point one is irrelevant.

at the time of posting, we don’t know how or why the captain died, but we've had nothing to suggest his death was in any way related to his latent sexuality, so his mysterious death doesn’t actively play into the supposedly inherent tragedy of queer lives, nor the supposedly lesser value. that’s as of right now- since we don’t know the circumstances of his death it’s a little tough to analyse properly. while the captain’s life absolutely features missed opportunities and it’s fair share of tragedy, hope and growth (which seems to be the theme of this post) abounds in equal measure. the captain may not be alive, but we DO get to see him growing and having a relatively happy existence, that for the most part seems to be getting even better as he learns to open up and be himself unapologetically- that doesn’t feel like BYG to me.

while writng this, it’s just occured to me that death really is a second chance for most of the ghosts, especially with the introduction of alison. from mary learning to read, to thomas finding modern music, they’ve all been given the chance explore things they never could have while they were alive, and hopefully grow enough to one day be sucked off move on.

in conclusion,

i love the captain very much and i hope his arc lives up to the standards it’s set so far. i don’t know where to put this in this post, but i’d alo like to say i LOVE how in Perfect Day, the captain wasn’t used as an educational experienced for fanny at all. i am very tired of people expecting me to be the walking talking homophobe educator and rehabilitator, so the fact that it’s alison and the other ghosts that call fanny out while the captain just gets to have fun with the wedding organisation made me very happy.

here’s a few other cap posts that i’ve done:

the captain’s arc if adam and the film crew stayed

a possible cap coming out 

the captain backstory headcanon

if you’ve read this far,

thank you!

also check out @alex-ghosts-corner , this post inspired me very much to write this

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

lately i feel taehyung is a straight man and his vibez is much more masculinity i mean not to mention taehyung straightly said to jimin he like him most and no offense for me it's just assurance about something etc and i don't feel like in romantic way but much more because he is best friend for life. i mean before you can assume he is kind of gay but lately i feel like he's more focus on masculine way and much more straight man.

Admin 1: Let’s do a little exercise which I think will help us answer this question, as well as showcase why reading it annoyed me so much, especially as queer person myself. Okay, here are nine different men, all of them athletes (why did I pick them? Because idols are basically just as athletic as them and chances of you knowing all nine are low), and now please try to guess which of them (if any) are gay/queer:

…

Do you have your guesses?

…

Okay, as example, if you guessed only the one first row second from the left then, well, you are partially correct. That man is Johnny Weir, former American figure skater, who is, in fact, gay, yes. But you are wrong in saying that out of all the men in those pictures he’s the only one who is queer. Because all of them are. You can read more about them here if you’re interested.

What does this tell us? Easy. The manner in which someone presents themselves (or the vibe, whatever that’s even supposed to mean, that they give off/give you), traditionally masculine, feminine, more androgynous, or anywhere else on the spectrum, has no correlation whatsoever with their sexuality. A gay man can dress in a way that is traditionally seen as more feminine and that’s fine. He can dress and look more typically masculine, and that is fine as well. He can dress and look however he likes and that doesn’t make him any less or more gay, or any less or more valid.

The main thing I would like for you to take away from this answer is this: please do not buy into stereotypical, basically fetishizing, portrayals and assumptions of what constitutes a “gay man” visually and behavior wise. There is no checklist full of boxes a queer man, or any queer person for that matter, needs to fulfil in order to be queer and valid in their queerness. There is no unified look a gay man has to showcase in order to be gay. It’s the 21st century, the year 2021, can we leave finally lay these things to rest?

As for Tae, if you want to know my thoughts about BTS and the LGBT community, I have an entire post about it which you can read here if that’s something that interests you. If we look at how Tae currently looks like, which you’ve defined as more “masculine” (and therefore straight), I will agree that he has gained muscles, if that is what you think is a necessary checkbox for masculinity, but really, all that really tells us is that Tae is healthy, that he looks great, handsome as ever, and that he is an idol of whom it is expected and required to be in a good physical shape, especially with comeback being quite literally just three days away which means a lot of performances, dancing, and hard Bangtan choreographies.

Your taste in fashion and how you feel most comfortable with your body looking like has no direct correlation with your sexuality, and neither does it with Tae’s.

Lastly, how is Tae saying he likes Jimin most on national TV somehow proof of him being straight? What else was he supposed to say? What would he have to say for you to not question his bond with Jimin? Is there a possibility we’re wrong and they’re just platonic, of course, but at the same time, looking at how Jimin said that Tae is a honest person, how Tae basically wears his heart on his sleeve, and how he’s written a song all about falling in love with his best friend, whom we know is Jimin, and we know Tae writes songs based on his own feelings and experiences, I do have a hard time believing that we are wrong. But, of course, we won’t know for sure until Tae or Jimin, or both, tell us themselves.

You are free to believe whatever you like but at least don’t project gender and LGBT stereotypes (most of which have been created and are perpetuated by straight people) onto Tae, and the other members for that matter. Or any queer person really.

Admin 2: I admit that after what I’ve recently observed on various sns platforms, no question will surprise me anymore. In fact, I'm sure I know where this question came from.

The most annoying thing is that despite so many "steps and demonstrations" on BTS' part, there is still an army trying to put people into individual boxes and number those boxes and give them names.

Do any of us have our sexualities written out on our foreheads? Can you see if we are sexually interested in women, men, or anyone else? And how can you know that?

I think a lot of people know Adam Rippon, for example, who is a former American figure skater and Olympic team bronze medalist. Yes, Adam is gay and has a very handsome partner, fiancé actually, who looks like a young god. He's fit, look at his photos on Instagram, Jussi goes to the gym, runs and is even in the process of builds a house himself, like a "real man", a "typical" man ... but he's gay!

If you look at this example, you can clearly see that there are no stereotypes that would indisputably define the appearance of an LGBTQ+ person! Indeed, in the last century, attempts have been made to give "gay" people the weird appearance of only ever being feminized man who are always sassy and the side kick in movies/shows, the stereotypical "gay best friend". It the past century it was designed as such to portray queer people, and especially gay men, in undesirable ways, as jokes and as something "bad", but I thought we grew out of it a long time ago as modern and tolerant people.

Kim Taehyung has to practice and exercise as a member of BTS. That’s a fact. To meet the requirements of their choreographies, whether you like it or not, you must be in an Olympic physical form. Not just him, the entire team must basically be at a near peak physical condition and health. Tae has to exercise, he has to take care of himself, and he has to look great. I have to admit, I've noticed that "gay" men pay more attention to their looks than a normal, unshaven straight guy! (I'm basing this on a joke Adam Rippon once made where he apologized to his followers for looking like an "unshaved straight guy" after he'd just woken up)

What do I mean by that? I want to express the fact that the way you look and take care of your appearance and physical condition are not an indicator of sexuality!

As for the "I like you the most" statement, I'll admit that I've observed many people in many ways trying to use this statement to twist it into whatever those people wanted it to be, instead of taking it for what it actually was, especially since it appears to be something like a thorn in the sides of those who ship other ML pairings.

I'll be rather blunt here now, instead of beating around the bush.

I think this whole question is another attempt at ripping down the Vmin sails and belittling their bond and its possible implications once again.

If we remember how the scene played out, remember Jimin's reactions, his nervousness, how flustered he was, said that things are getting dangerous, and the fact that Taehyung's letter was only for Jimin's eyes. Is that really how "bros" behave? Just a couples of besties?

I doubt that normal best buddies on national TV would feel the need to write mystery letters just for a friend's eyes and tell each other that they like him the most? I'll say more, "boyfriends" don't force their lover to admit that he is copying him in his dance style, only friends do.

It is strange that this "copy" situation was "perceived" as highly romantic, and yet Taehyung's words to Jimin were relegated to "best friends only, nothing else".

However, it doesn't change the fact that Taehyung said what he said, he wrote 95z is love and Jimin confessed that he would love to spend his life with his lovely Taehyungie. Do "only best friends" (best friends that are straight) behave like this?

[my-faves-said-gay-rights]

my faves said gay rights part 5 - SNSD

For pride month this year I thought I would live up to my name and post about all the times my faves supported the lgbtq+ community! Last but not least we have snsd/girls generation. There's quite a bit to get through so let's get started!

1. Tiffany wrote a love letter to the lgbtq community for billboard

2. All members support drag queens. Drag queens were in the mvs all night and love & girls. Taeyeon posted pictures with the queens from love & girls on her instagram with the caption "Oooops. Ginger’s hand is a cute hand. My hand is a bad hand. Love & girls, love that girls!! I mean…guys. So cool! They were pros." And when knetz criticised one of them for holding up their middle finger she responded "I asked him to do a ‘bad and wild atmosphere’ pose and that’s what he did. They’re not bad people. They made the music video set really fun. Because of them, we were able to film as we had fun". Tiffany has also said she's a big fan of Ru Paul's drag race and they remind her of snsd, and she made a video with the drag queen soju (highly recommend watching its so funny)

3. When taeyeon was a trainee she did a 100 q&a and when as asked what she thinks about same gender relationships she said "as long as they like each other there's nothing wrong about it"

4. At her concert, seohyun asked couples to raise their hands, including same sex couples because a couple is a couple

5. On national coming out day taeyeon posted a picture of a rainbow with a unicorn emoji as the caption

6. When same sex marriage was legalised in the us, taeyeon liked instagram posts with #lovewins in the captions

7. When there was a queer parade in sk taeyeon posted a rainbow sticker and a sticker of two bears hugging

8. Sunny tagged along with a gay couple, took photos with them and congratulated them on their marriage (I saw one tweet about this but can't find anything else so not entirely sure if this is true)

9. Taeyeon said they could be the ideal type of both guys and girls

10. In taeyeon and melomances mv for page 0 there is a wlw couple and trans people

Okay you guys know the drill, if I missed anything please tell me (I probably did I'm really tired lol)!! I hope my fellow queer sones and every single one of my followers had a great pride month full of gay activity, and if not there's still like 2 days left so it can get better. I'm gonna pass out now bye!

[hopefullystillatheatrestudent]

okay so i’ve been going crazy these past few days. all about cockles/jensmish and obsessively watching their panels or reading the transcripts BECAUSE. THEY ARE LOUD. LIKE. i saw some fancams on twt and i thought people were just exaggerating but noooooooooo!!!???? so, getting to the point. you said that how do we know that jensen is performing masculinity? because jared isn’t and THAT IS A BIG BRAIN MOMENT. ON POINT. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. a particular moment from gag reel that jumps out (which you’ve talked about) when jensen goes ‘cas, you are my baby daddy’ and misha goes, ‘i know i love you too’ and jensen goes, ‘i didn’t say i love you’ and misha goes, ‘i know you wanted to’ and jensen says, ‘i love you’ WHAT THE FUCK! that was NOT a joke. yes, people took it as a joke and had a good laugh BUT I HAVE WATCHED IT TOO MANY TIMES AND IT LIVES IN MY MIND RENT FREE BECAUSE IT WAS NOT A PERFORMANCE. THAT WAS JENSEN. THAT WAS MISHA. jensen has a had trouble with the pda and being all touch feely (the breakup theory) and he gradually grew into it, accepted it and misha was right there all along, never pushed it. it was like a deancas au but tbh, 99% of destiel is because of cockles and we all know it. i just. jensen has latched onto dean as an emotional support because he tunes with it. understands it. projects on to it. yeah, i just had to say it and get it off my chest. (and what about those poetry pages on instagram? alma? what is your opinion?) btw, you have a lovely blog and your analysis are right on target.

so there is a LOT i’m going to address here(how dare you bring up [gunshot] i HAVE to talk about it now) so again!!!! under a cut it goes but i hope you appreciate my rambles anon it seems like you do :,)

1. jared vs. jensen and performing masculinity. hell yeah man. jared and jensen are both just ‘guys from texas’ but they are still so vastly different. today i actually had a revelation that i’m pretty sure has to do with me being bi. and it’s that i have a group of straight friends(that i love dearly but they care too much about hockey and pitbull imo could not be me) and i have a group of queer friends(who are also batshit[affectionate]). and it’s like whichever group i hang out with a different side of me emerges? they’re both me, it’s just that certain aspects of who i am as a person only surface depending on who i am around. however, i will say i feel like i watch what i say around my straight friends more. i see that very clearly in jensen as well. around jared during panels and on set, he’s definitely putting on an air of machismo and engages in typical guy talk. i do think an element of it is performative, because he wants validation from jared that they’re still just two dudes from texas taking on the world together despite his sexual identity. does that make any sense??? i hope so. but when he’s with misha he is an entirely different person and his sense of humour becomes wildly different. the machismo fades away, he’s way less caught up in what people think about him, lets his guard down, etc. to go back to my original point which is how j2 are different in that regard....jared does not do this. he is a constant. he does not flip a switch between ‘performing masculinity’ and ‘not’ because he isn’t performing any part of who he is. he just IS. so yeah these two are similar in many regards but there’s somewhat of a dissonance between them when it comes to how they perform masculinity because one of them is putting on a show and the other is merely being.

2. that crypt scene blooper(here just in case you need to see it again. do it. as a treat.) when i tell you i have easily seen this over thirty times??? since it first came out??? i mean it. it is such an overlooked(r*mantic) moment and it means so much more than people think it does. i’ve talked about the context behind it, and i think that’s why this blooper was so meaningful, so i’ll mention it again. jensen and misha had a LOT of trouble with this scene. the reason is that jensen couldn’t wrap his head around why dean would be saying these things, if i remember correctly, and both of them sat down and scoured over how they should play it for a while before filming(teamwork ;) teammates *ahem*). [to be honest we all know why jensen had a hard time with that scene and it is because it is blatantly romantic. rip to him but i would simply give in to it at that point but oh well] so anyway, their heads were scattered going into shooting, which is NEVER a good headspace to be in for a scene, ESPECIALLY not a pivotal one. but they had each other to help them through said weird energy on set that couldn’t possibly have invoked the best feelings, especially considering jensen STILL doesn’t think he played that correctly(but he praised misha on his performance :,) ). and with that context every single part of that video hits haRD 

-’stop pulling my face towards your crotch’ i think this is objectively hilarious because it really really looks like jensen is pulling HIMSELF towards misha’s crotch. again, you’re fooling no one, jensen. misha’s wheezing laugh and the way he wraps himself around jensen is also,,,sweet??? like i don’t know how else to describe how i see it but this moment really reads as jensen, in his weird ‘constructing elaborate rituals’ way is asking for security through a physical touch from misha and he happily obliges and gives jensen what he needs. because i mean...watch it again. jensen ‘fights back’, but not really at all, actually. pretty wimpy counterattack. he literally lets himself be smothered by misha, and i would literally describe what they end up doing as cuddling. 

-’i need you, cas. you’re my baby daddy’ i love having an actor’s perspective on things bc i think i can explain what’s going on here. jensen just delivered what was(in his own mind) a rotten take of the lines he’s most scared of delivering. so the scene was already messed up. therefore; ensuing fuckery is warranted to help him feel better. but there’s also for sure more than meets the eye for what he says here because of misha’s reaction after??? like he seemed genuinely touched. first of all, he’s saying ‘you’re my baby daddy’ as half-jensen, but not necessarily dean either(because he didn’t say the previous lines as true to his character...you get it), to misha, not cas. i think i’ve made this point before, but every single innuendo in the gag reels is to misha specifically, never once cas. therefore; logical conclusion: ‘you’re my baby daddy’ was for misha and it meant something deeper than we think because of what follows it

-this part. jensen’s giddy ass smile after he sees misha crack and then misha says ‘yeah, i know’ (can i just say his voice when he says this is so intimate???? like am i intruding guys??? sorry i’ll let myself out) also he is smiling SO BIG

- ‘i know’ ‘why are you laughing?’ ‘no i know i love you too’ this analysis is already so long but i still want to get into what THAT whole exchange means. ‘why are you laughing?’ to me sounds like jensen’s pretending to be affronted by misha laughing at something that is serious. and it’s serious because he quite literally meant ‘i love you’. he did. misha knows it. misha’s really REALLY good at cutting the bs and just getting to what people are actually trying to say. he has an innate sharpness to his sense of humour. so yes, misha is being 100% accurate when he says ‘i know, but you wanted to say it.’ misha isn’t lying here. jensen did want and mean to say ‘i love you’. and then he actually does say it(in a jokey way but not really). 

- so yeah. it is actually so romantic??? like in a weird way jensen was professing his love for misha here?????? and that’s why this clip will NEVER. ever. get old. 

3. jensen having trouble with pda and projecting onto dean: we can all call ourselves dean coded cas girls but NO one deserves that title more than jensen ackles himself. he is dean winchester but marginally less repressed because he actually did admit he was in love with his best friend and let himself be happy, and pretty early on too. one year and two months as opposed to twelve years. so. happy deancas au is correct. and yes about the pda thing: one day i want to write my own post about both of their body language when it comes to each other, but all i can tell is jensen, even in the early days, couldn’t help himself from flirting with misha, but if misha ever crossed a line, jensen would not be happy. clearly he’s come around, however. what i find sweet is that misha always follows jensen’s lead when it comes to how much affection they’re allowed to show each other onstage. it touches my soul

4. destiel is cockles fault. yeah. and the thing is everyone knows it, too. even non-cockles shippers will explain early destiel as entirely dependant on jensen and misha’s wild chemistry. and that chemistry is easily explained by the fact that misha and jensen are literally just wildly horny bisexuals who were crazily attracted to one another and were falling in love on screen before our very eyes. and when you have THAT insider info(which sounds cray doesn’t it!!!! the destiel actors are in love irl??? huh???) everything really does click into place. why destiel got SO popular when the show and actors never ever intended for it to happen.(i know some people think misha was playing cas as gay the whole time for shits and giggles, and i won’t deny that[especially considering he found out early on that destiel was why he was staying on the show], but i don’t think he really wanted it to amount to anything, nor did he care??? i mean he has the real thing with jensen, for one, so their characters aren’t really as important. for two, he loves joking about destiel because it’s a cultural phenomenon and it’s fascinating, and i’m sure he did ship it because he’s unhinged, but i don’t think it was vastly important to him either way.) destiel got popular because everyone was and is unintentionally reading into the real deal. i could pull up countless gifs that people have used as destiel proof that is actually just jensen and misha being messy. mainly jensen. if i’m being honest.  the symbiotic relationship between destiel and cockles is why i’ve stayed onboard the destielcule and shellerscape for three solid months now; because it is utterly fascinating to witness and kind of super beautiful, too. 

5. alma(and others). so. i do NOT want to really REALLY get into this in its entirety here and now so i will just give you my opinion on if i think alma is misha or not. also; i don’t want to mention the other poetry accounts here bc i feel like that’s a bigger breach in privacy, but a lot of people do know about alma now. way too many, actually. this is why we can’t have nice things. anyway-to answer your question-there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that yes, misha is running that alma poetry account. i am 100% certain. some people think it’s actually three people and they’re all connected to misha in some way but that is so needlessly complicated. as it goes in psychology; the easiest explanation is probably the right one. it’s just one person running that account, and it is misha collins. i don’t know why it’s so hard to believe KNOWN POET misha collins(who is known to spend most of his free time writing poetry anyway) would have created a secret poetry account to write about his intense secret relationship under an alias and also get legitimate feedback since no one used to know it was him. oh and the handwriting is identical??? you are blind if you do not see that i am sorry. and a million other things prove it’s misha too but yeah all you need to know is yes. it’s him. it would take a literal livestream from a random woman on that account to convince me otherwise. and honestly not even that because a random woman could technically still log in if misha asked her too. so. it would take a hell of a lot to convince me otherwise, clearly. that said DO NOTTTTTTTTTTTT GO ONTO THAT ACCOUNT WITH A SUPERNATURAL RELATED USERNAME AND COMMENT THINGS THAT ARE COCKLES RELATED. ARE YOU BRAIN DEAD WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT’S OKAY. sorry i got heated but god please just don’t be dumb so many people have already gone way too far 

6. thank you for your lovely compliment on my analyses!!! i love doing them but i don’t know if people actually like reading them so i really appreciate it

[whatiwillsay]

late stage swiftgron - the folklore era - 1.0

this post will include all relevant and major activities between taylor and dianna since taylor announced folklore on the morning of July 23, 2020.

click here for a dianna’s spotify masterpost (we are only including the most loud spotify activities on this post but it’s all very interesting)

tagging @jennyboom21​, @goldenageofsomethingblue​, and @tayloragron​ to help me out if i miss something (and ofc all of you swiftgrons who help out with the blog, don’t hesitate to let me know if i miss something major)

JULY 23, 2020 

-  8 AM EASTERN - TAYLOR ANNOUNCES FOLKLORE TO COME OUT AT MIDNIGHT  

 -  THAT AFTERNOON - DIANNA UPLOADS A NEW PLAYLIST TO SPOTIFY ENTITLED I’LL BE AROUND, WITH ONE SONG ON IT - ‘I’LL BE AROUND’ BY FLOOR CRY:

-  DIANNA ALSO STREAMS THE SONG ‘I LOVE YOU SO’ BY THE WALTERS:

this song contains a very loud lyric that makes us believe ‘the 1′ is about dianna:

JULY 24, 2020 

-  MIDNIGHT - FOLKLORE COMES OUT

-  SOME TIME THAT AFTERNOON - DIANNA ATTENDS NAYA RIVERA’S FUNERAL IN LA

JULY 25, 2020

-  AFTERNOON - DIANNA TURNS OFF HER SPOTIFY LISTENING FOR THE REST OF THE DAY AND INTO THE NEXT DAY (WE THEORIZE TO LISTEN TO FOLKLORE)

-  DIANNA’S SOON TO BE EX HUSBAND, WINSTON MARSHALL, POSTS THIS SHADY ASS PIC TO INSTAGRAM WITH THE CARDIGAN LYRICS WHILE HE PLAYS A BOARD GAME WITH HIS BAND MATE

JULY 29, 2020

-  DIANNA POSTS A LOUDLY DOLLY BIRTHDAY POST FOR MOLLY’S BIRTHDAY

-  TAYLOR RELEASES THE “cabin in candlelight” VERSION OF CARDIGAN

JULY 30, 2020

-  DIANNA IS RATHER ACTIVE ON SPOTIFY INCLUDING A STREAM OF ‘HAPPY TOGETHER’ COVERED BY FLOOR CRY WHICH SEEMS TO BE A DOLLY SONG (there is a very cute video of them goofing around on a beach, pretending to make out, being very adorable and affectionate with each other - dianna posted it and specifically edited it to add the song happy together)

-  THE BLOG GETS AN ANON REMINDING US HOW DIANNA WOULD LISTEN TO PALE BLUE EYES BY THE VELVET UNDERGROUND AROUND THE TIME SWIFTGRON WAS BREAKING UP IN 2013, WE PUBLISH AND DISCUSS ON MAIN

AUGUST 4, 2020

-  DIANNA STREAMS PALE BLUE EYES BY VELVET UNDERGROUND ON HER PUBLIC SPOTIFY 5 DAYS WE DISCUSSED HER LISTENING TO THAT SONG IN 2013 HERE ON THE BLOG

-  TAYLOR IS SPOTTED IN CAPE COD

AUGUST 5, 2020

-  TAYLOR NO-HOMO’S BETTY ON COUNTRY RADIO

-  DIANNA STREAMS PALE BLUE EYES AGAIN

AUGUST 6, 2020

-  KEVIN TEASES SWIFTGRON ON SHOWMANCE AND TALKS ABOUT TAYLOR LOOKING FOR SOMEONE (LIKELY DIANNA) ON THE GLEE SET IN FEBRUARY OR MARCH 2014, POSSIBLY CONFIRMING THAT SWIFTGRON PINING WENT ON LONGER THAN WE EARLIER THOUGHT

-  TAYLOR IS SPOTTED BRIEFLY IN LA WITH JOE

AUGUST 8, 2020

-  DIANNA IS CONFIRMED TO BE BACK IN NYC

AUGUST 9, 2020

-  DIANNA TRULY SNAPS, CRAVES WET PUSSY ON MAIN IN THE PLATFORM PRESENTS EDWARD SNOWDEN SKIT.  WE LIKE TO PRETEND THAT SHE DID THIS TO MAKE UP FOR TAYLOR’S NO-HOMO OF BETTY

AUGUST 15, 2020

-  BOTH OUR GIRLS POST TO SOCIAL MEDIA ABOUT SUPPORTING THE USPS WITHIN THE SAME HOUR

-  DIANNA IS ON A FRIEND’S SOCIAL MEDIA IN CONNECTICUT

AUGUST 18, 2020

-  THE LAKES (WHICH IS A SONG ABOUT TAYLOR WAITING FOR HER MUSE) AND THE DELUXE VERSION OF FOLKLORE COMES OUT

-  TAYLOR DISCUSSES THE MEANING BEHIND EXILE ON RADIO

AUGUST 19, 2020

-  DIANNA’S DIVORCE IS ANNOUNCED AROUND 8 AM EASTERN TIME

AUGUST 20, 2020

-  ESCAPISM FOLKLORE CHAPTER RELEASED

AUGUST 21, 2020

-  DIANNA IS SPOTTED IN NYC WITH HER HAIR CUT AND FRESHLY DYED

-  DIANNA GAY RUMORS SWIRL AS WELL AS HER CONNECTION TO TAYLOR, IT ALL SEEMS TO BE PICKING UP STEAM,  THE BLOG PREDICTS A JOE x TAYLOR STUNT

-  DIANNA’S WIKIPEDIA PAGE IS EDITED, A MORE FEMININE PICTURE IS MADE HER MAIN PICTURE, SEVERAL PEOPLE ARE EDITING HER PERSONAL LIFE SECTION.  SWIFTGRON RUMORS ARE ADDED TO IT:

IT APPEARS AS THOUGH A USER GOING BY KINGSIF MAKES THESE EDITS:

AUGUST *22*, 2020

-  IT IS ONE OF DIANNA’S GOOD FRIEND’S, SELBY’S BIRTHDAY.  SELBY (WHO WAS AT THE FUN CONCERT IN FALL 2013) POSTS TO INSTAGRAM WITH BOTH MTR AND WILDEST DREAMS PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND.  DIANNA DOES NOT PUBLICLY WISH HER A HAPPY BIRTHDAY (tho she didn’t post for selby’s birthday last year, however she didn’t like molly’s selby birthday dedication and she usually does comment on posts molly has made for selby’s birthday or like it or both in the past, she also didn’t comment on or like tracy dubb’s selby birthday post) 

AUGUST 23, 2020

-  SLEEPLESS NIGHTS FOLKLORE CHAPTER RELEASED

AUGUST 24, 2020

-  DIANNA IS IN CHILMARK, MA AT A LAKE WITH FRIENDS (it’s probably a coincidence but this location is not too far a drive or ferry ride from taylor’s place - about an hour)

AUGUST 25, 2020

-  DIANNA IS HAPPY AND FRESH AND CUTE ON THE SHIVA BABY LIVE STREAM

AUGUST 26, 2020

-  SALTBOX FOLKLORE CHAPTER RELEASE

-  THE BLOG POSTS THE SPOTIFY SINCE FOLKLORE MASTERPOST

-  A FEW HOURS LATER SPOTIFY GLITCHES AND/OR DIANNA GOES PRIVATE ON SPOTIFY, IT IS HARD TO TELL WHICH HAPPENED OR IF BOTH THINGS HAPPENED.  SHE DOESN’T STREAM AGAIN UNTIL 9/2/2020

-  DIANNA IS PAPPED IN NYC CARRYING A BOOK DESCRIBED AS RAUNCHY AND QUEER LMAO

-  DIANNA SHOWS UP IN INSTAGRAM STORIES OF SOMEONE WEARING A MASK AND A DETROIT BLOWS SHIRT

AUGUST 28, 2020

-  DIANNA SHOWS UP IN A DOG’S INSTAGRAM POSTS, RARE BTS FOOTAGE OF HER IN HER AMAZING ROMEO DRAG FOR HER ROMEO AND JULIET PHOTOSHOOT FROM 2019

-  TAYLOR NATION POSTS A PICTURE OF TAYLOR WITH WINE FROM THE FOLKLORE LIVE CHAT THAT TOOK PLACE THE EVENING OF THE 23RD RIGHT BEFORE FOLKLORE DROPPED TO CELEBRATE NATIONAL *RED* WINE DAY

AUGUST 29, 2020

- DIANNA’S INVOLVEMENT IN A PLAY OR FILM ADAPTATION OF A TALE OF TWO CITIES GOES PUBLIC ON INSABELLA MACPHERSON’S INSTAGRAM.  THE QUOTE REFERENCED IS, “IT WAS THE BEST OF TIMES IT WAS THE WORST OF TIMES”

-  THE OSSA YOUTUBE CHANNEL SNAPS AND SENDS SWIFTGRON MAINSTREAM SHOWING THAT NO, THEY’RE NOT OVER SWIFTGRON SO WHY SHOULD WE BE OVER IT?  THEY ADD SWIFTGRON RUMORS TO A VIDEO TALKING ABOUT WHO ALL THE GLEE CAST HAS DATED.

as of 9-4-2020 9 am central this video now has 115 k views:

AUGUST 30, 2020

-  DIANNA’S OLD BOSS RYAN MURPHY FOLLOWS TAYLOR ON INSTAGRAM, MAKING HER THE 13TH PERSON HE FOLLOWS (we speculate that taylor’s music will be featured on his upcoming movie, the prom)

-  TAYLOR WINS VMA FOR BEST DIRECTION FOR THE MAN, SHE GIVES A DIGITAL ACCEPTANCE SPEECH AND ENDS IT WITH A TENDER “I HOPE I GET TO SEE YOU SOON.”

AUGUST 31, 2020

-  THE BLOG REQUESTS DIANNA TO COME BACK TO SPOTIFY:

SEPTEMBER 2, 2020

-  DIANNA COMES BACK TO SPOTIFY WITH TWO VERY INTERESTING PLAYLISTS (songs that seem to specifically and blatantly reference taylor’s lyrics)

SEPTEMBER 3, 2020

-  DIANNA PAPPED IN NYC OUT BOOK SHOPPING 

SEPTEMBER 4, 2020

-  CAM SNAPS AND DECIDES TO CELEBRATE THE FAIRFAX FLEA MARKET ANNIVERSARY BY MAKING THIS MASTERPOST. HAPPY SWIFTGRONTEMBER.

what does it all mean?

as you all know, this blog does not think swiftgron is together (other than being friendly and on cordial or even close terms)  however we do think swiftgron is being referenced by kevin, her wikipedia, and that news video as part of a narrative.  we are not entirely sure what that narrative is but we have two very specific ideas.  if you hang around the blog or discord you probably know what our two theories are.  we are not comfortable blogging them publicly right now.

the usps post coordination is very loud to us as well along with the outside sources commenting on swiftgron.

it is not just our small circle of delulu 2020 swiftgrons that notice something going on with the girls.  they are referencing each other and seem to be circling one another and normal people are taking note.

i probably missed a lot so please ping me if i did (esp about taylor, we don’t track her as closely as we do dianna, we’re going to start though) and please read over this post with big swiftgron intelligence agency eyes 👀👀👀!  if there are connections and “coincidences” that stand out to you anon the blog or comment please!

and that’s what you missed on swiftgron

[rosethornewrites]

Fic: The Rebellion of Adrien Agreste, ch. 13

Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth, Juleka Couffaine/Rose Lavillant, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Luka Couffaine, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Kagami Tsurugi, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Luka Couffaine, Lila Rossi/karma, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth/aneurism, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Kagami Tsurugi, Plagg & Tikki

Characters: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth, Lila Rossi, Jagged Stone, Plagg, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Luka Couffaine, Penny Rolling, Anarka Couffaine, Rose Lavillant, Juleka Couffaine, Kagami Tsurugi, Alya Césaire, Chloé Bourgeois, Wayhem, Nadja Chamack, Nathalie Sancoeur, Sabine Cheng, Tom Dupain, Tikki, Fang, Principal Damocles, Caline Bustier, Ms. Mendeleiev, original minor character, Alec Cataldi, Lila Rossi’s Mother, Sabrina Raincomprix, Roger Raincomprix, Mylène Haprèle, Le Gorille | Adrien Agreste’s Bodyguard, Nino Lahiffe, Nooroo

Tags: Lila Rossi salt, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Teenage Rebellion, Swearing, Bad Parent Gabriel Agreste, Crack Treated Seriously, Lila Rossi’s Lies Are Exposed, Cuddling & Snuggling, Luka Couffaine Needs a Hug, Paparazzi, Parentification, Marinette Dupain-Cheng Needs a Hug, Gabriel Agreste Needs an Aneurism, Uncle Jagged Stone, we’re all queer here, the spirit of punk is sometimes just being allowed to be yourself, Kagami Finds Her Groove, punk rock fashion, Savage Kagami, Marinette protection squad, Good Parent Sabine Cheng, Good Parent Tom Dupain, Protective Kagami Tsurugi, Protective Luka Couffaine, Bisexual Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Pansexual Luka Couffaine, Sharing a Bed, Pet Names, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Instagram, Bullying, Social Media, Anxiety, Makeover, Hugs, will cure your acne, Face Punching, Bad Ass Juleka Couffaine, Rumors, Protective Juleka Couffaine, Protective Adrien Agreste, Lawyers, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Holding Hands, accountability, mental health, Jagged Stone’s well-paid pet shark, How to Make the Evening News, Sexy eyeliner for days, one fish two fish Lila is a screwed fish, How to have fun and piss Gabriel off, Fuckery, sweet litigious karma, Alya sugar, lawyer shark doo doo doo doo doo doo, Schadenfreude, Bad Ass Alya Césaire, Gaslighting, abuse denormalization, Jagged likes his lawyers like he likes his pets: toothy af, Blood in the Water, Everything you didn’t know you wanted and some things you did, Gabriel Agreste is shark bait, Denial, Consequences, Principal Damocles salt, caline bustier salt, the impotence of Gabriel Agreste, snarky Nooroo, lies and the lying liars who tell them, Lila’s brain is a narcissistic hellscape, Lila’s mind is built like an Escher piece, Alec Cataldi salt, Adrien Sugar, wholesome salt, Fu Salt, Kwami Shenanigans, Nooroo is a little shit

Summary:  Sweet Litigious Karma

AO3 link

Chapters 1-2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12

-------------

They had to wait for Jagged to coax Fang out of the limo before they could proceed with phase two of the plan. Juleka murmured something to Rose, who dashed into the school and returned with Luka’s guitar.

Juleka took it and drifted to the open limo door, which had Fang hanging halfway out of it.

“I know without your guitar you feel like you’re missing a limb, so I figure you shouldn’t be without it today.” She handed it to him. “Especially after this drama.”

Luka peered out the limo and flashed a little smile. “Thanks, sis. I wanted to work on a song for Adrien, anyway. He should know what his heartsong sounds like.”

Adrien blushed at that, ducking his head.

This wasn’t part of the script, but they’d all decided ad-libbing was a good idea if anything came to mind. He’d told Luka to pretend all the reporters were naked, and apparently that had calmed him enough.

He moved back to the limo door, keeping out of Fang’s path, and took Luka’s hand. “I look forward to hearing it, ma luciole.”

An enraged high-pitched sort of bellow sounded from behind him, and Adrien turned to see Lila stomping toward him, her face a mottled red. She froze when Fang snapped in her direction, clearly bothered by her movements.

“Yeah, Fang here doesn’t like when brats like yourself harass his friends. Adrien and Luka here? They’re friends.” Jagged crossed his arms. “You’re just the liar who claimed to save my nonexistent kitten from a runway.”

Lila fumed, then turned on Marinette, who stood near her parents. “You! You did this!”

Tom protectively moved in front of his daughter as the Italian took a step in her direction, straightening his spine to increase his height.

M. Damocles cleared his throat. “Mlle. Rossi, you are on very thin ice. Stop harassing your classmates.”

“I’ll see you later,” Adrien murmured, letting go of Luka’s hand to move closer to Marinette, just in case she needed defending.

He noticed Juleka doing the same thing—and he wasn’t the only one, if Lila’s narrowing eyes were any indication.

Lila’s posture changed, becoming demure and defensive, as though she was protecting herself from harm. “I’m sorry, M. Damocles. I-I just can’t believe Marinette would go this far to bully me!”

The girl fled past the principal into the school, crying fake tears. M. Damocles blinked, looking confused. Adrien hoped he wasn’t buying into that sham.

“Fang’s better at crocodile tears than she is,” Jagged snorted, shutting the limo door now that Fang was completely out. “What a prima donna.”

The press didn’t hear him and ignored the limo as it pulled away with Luka, instead taking the opportunity to swarm Marinette, calling out questions.

“What led to Jagged Stone employing a 14-year-old girl as his designer?”

“Do you care to comment on your rivalry with Mlle. Rossi?”

“Is it true the text messages to the press were fake and you’re the real bully?”

Adrien frowned at that one, and pulled out his phone, turning it on so he could display the messages. Keeping it off wasn’t necessary since his father likely could see his location on TV.

The questions continued to ring out until…

“You seem awfully close with Mlle. Tsurugi. Are you dating?” That one was from Alec Cataldi.

Marinette blushed brightly at that question, looking more overwhelmed than he had ever seen her.

Jagged shoved his way through the crowd. “Oi! What are you doing prying into the romantic life of an underage teenager? Bloody paparazzi!”

Cataldi immediately backed off, and Penny grabbed Jagged’s arm to keep him from advancing.

That gave Adrien the opportunity to finish opening his text messages, pulling up the ones from Lila. He shoved his phone toward the reporters, scrolling up and down so they could see.

“Not faked,” Adrien announced, his voice icy. “And not ‘leaked,’ either. I made sure they went public intentionally. I do not tolerate threats against my friends. We are finished with questions, as we have other business to attend to.”

When several reporters started to ask more questions anyway, he channeled his father, as much as he hated to do that. “I will remind you that under French law taking pictures and footage of minors without permission is quite illegal, and we’ve tolerated that up to this point.”

Dead silence fell immediately, and the reporters backed off, the implied threat effective.

The space allowed them to move forward into the school, trailed by Fang. The bell rang as they entered, but the courtyard was filled with students and teachers, mostly gaping at them.

To be fair, Mme. Mendeleiev was trying to round up her students, but none of them were paying her any mind.

M. Damocles cleared his throat. “Apparently the entire school is tardy,” he announced loudly.

There was a rush as the students and teachers cleared the courtyard, with the exception of Mme. Bustier’s class, who kept watching since their teacher was beside the principal.

He turned to her. “Caline, go handle your class. I will send M. Agreste and Mlle. Dupain-Cheng along once this… matter is dealt with.”

Adrien wasn’t fond M. Damocles’ dismissive tone, but he figured that’d be destroyed by the lawyer soon enough.

In any case, as Mme. Bustier led the way up the stairs, he took quiet joy in the way his classmates gave Lila a wide berth, like she was contagious. Well, aside from Juleka, who was staying closer than was strictly necessary and smiling menacingly.

They quickly found themselves squeezed a bit tightly into the principal’s office—six adults, two teens, and a crocodile were a bit much for the small room.

Jagged took one chair, and Tom took the other, leaving the rest to stand. The lawyer placed her briefcase on the desk to open it, taking out a stack of paperwork and handing it to the principal.

“I’ll keep this brief, M. Damocles. M. Dupain and Mme. Cheng are concerned with the lack of investigation into the allegations against their daughter, and the lack of investigation into Mlle. Rossi’s claims—from illnesses and disabilities to excuses for absences. It implies not only a degree of favoritism, but additionally calls into question whether this school is following basic procedure.”

“That—”

“I am not finished, sir. Furthermore, Mlle. Dupain-Cheng has faced a multitude of instances of harcèlement moral, bullying, including destruction of her property by the mayor’s daughter—who, I might add, faced no consequences in another implied instance of favoritism. She has now been targeted by a self-admitted serial liar, whose frankly ludicrous tales managed to fool the authorities at this school, injuring her mental health. That file outlines everything she has faced in the past year.”

Adrien could see Marinette’s face redden out of the corner of his eye, and knew the lawyer wasn’t exaggerating—he’d seen and heard enough last night to know that now. He put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently to let her know he had her back.

The lawyer continued. “While current French Labor Code would see this as a violation, the law has woefully not seen fit to include schools, the workplace of students, in this definition. M. Stone is strongly disgusted by this oversight, and would be happy to see whether a suit on his employee’s behalf regarding these incidents could result in precedence in case law.”

M. Damocles’ eyes had widened, his face pale. Adrien almost felt sorry for him, but it was the inaction of far too many adults that had allowed Lila’s reign of terror to go on this long.

“However, we would prefer to resolve this outside of the courts, if at all possible. Since, unfortunately, orders of protection in France are not granted outside of situations of domestic violence. As neither M. Agreste nor Mlle. Dupain-Cheng are in a romantic relationship with Mlle. Rossi, this means they are unable to pursue one under current French law. So I will be frank: my clients seek, at minimum, an investigation into this matter and the immediate removal of Mlle. Rossi from Mme. Bustier’s classroom, so their education is not further interrupted by her behavior.”

The principal stuttered a few times. “Ah, b-but I have to consider the impact on Mlle. Rossi’s education—”

The lawyer smoothly interrupted. “Her education has already been interrupted by alleged travel outside of the country—which presumably you verified with her parents—whereas M. Agreste and Mlle. Dupain-Cheng have been in consistent attendance.”

“I-I will need to contact her mother, of course—”

“Yes, I suggest you do that. We will, of course, wait outside until you are finished speaking with Mme. Rossi. Might I suggest, if you are unable to reach her by the number provided to the school, you contact the Embassy? My clients have already been quite patient.”

With that, the lawyer closed her suitcase, and stepped over Fang to reach the door. The rest of them followed her out.

Marinette looked a bit light-headed. He led her to a bench and sat with her, Sabine and Tom joining them on either side.

After the door was closed, Adrien murmured. “I thought he was going to wet himself.”

The lawyer flashed a shark-like smile. “That is what I’m paid for.”

That got a nervous giggle from Marinette, who snuggled into Sabine’s side. She looked exhausted.

Adrien took a moment to text Kagami to let her know phase two was in progress. He also told her about the reporter’s question—he had no doubt there’d be rumors flying as a result.

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Thurs 4 Feb ‘21

Confirmation is here at last of Harry’s role in the film adaptation of My Policeman, brought to us by queer fave Greg Berlanti (and his husband). Harry will costar with Emma Corrin, who you may remember from the at the time inexplicable seeming Harry/Emma cross promo last August-- given the pains they took then to emphasize that the relationship was platonic, one assumes this film will go for a different promo tactic than the current one! They share a stylist though, so they’ll no doubt be beautifully coordinated. Harry will play Tom, which some people object to on the grounds that Harry is the wrong person to play the role of a closeted man which is certainly… one opinion. Aaaaand there’s plenty more of that discourse (and about him playing a policeman) to come over the coming months so I’ll just leave it there for now! Anyway and as for that current project, we got more DWD set pics today, featuring Harry in various costume outfits! There’s ones where his character looks bloodied, and ones where his character looks clean but absolutely terrifying, grown up frat boy from hell looks to give you CHILLS, plus some of Harry as Harry in a bright orange hoodie designed by his friend Kunichi Nomura.There was also {moustache spoilers} some weird facial hair on display. Okay then!

Project Defenseless has been launched to push Defenseless up in the streaming charts and push for radio play! The fan single project offers resources and organized pushes to get people streaming and promoting on all the platforms and reaching out to radio, and has fans making lots of very cool edits besides! “I see what you’re doing with defenseless! You are all incredible!” said Louis. That song is such a fitting choice for this kind of project! Its journey has been all about the fan response from back when Louis played it for us for the very first time in 2019 (it was the one everyone was screaming about from soundcheck clips for the few hours between that and hearing the songs for real even) and afterwards he told us about how although he’d always liked the song it clicked for him in a new way after getting the fan reaction, saying “something happened to it when I performed it live, and ever since then it really kind of got me,” and “the fans make everything sound amazing, they made it sound so good,” and “the fans for whatever reason really took to this song, so now it has a special place in me heart definitely”. Plus of course there was the long saga of fan stress when it seemed like it might not be on the album and rejoicing when Louis finally definitively confirmed that it would be, after what seemed like might have been a reversal on his part due to the outcry about it. And now she’s climbing all kinds of charts like a the star she is! The song shot up on itunes (#3 worldwide, #1 in 16 countries) just for starters and the project has only just got going. Louis commented on the stats-- “An album track off an album that’s a year old. You lot blow my fucking mind! Thank you so much!”

Louis also commented on a Jack Saunders (BBC indie music DJ) tweet and followed guitarist Johnny Took of the DMAs on twitter which is weird only in that he didn’t already.

There’s news about Zayn’s Zach Sang interview, and it’s not the most surprising news but it is very sad; Zach says “hi beautiful humans, this convo was scheduled for last week but we got a rain check from his team. this conversation can still happen, it ain’t over yet! we’ll keep ya in the loop. I listened to this album 7 times! we’re determined” Well... damn. However Zayn DID pop up with some spon-content but like… the WEIRDEST ad content?? It’s for Coors Light and, well I’ll let Zayn tell you about it! “They’re gonna see if they can put a commercial inside your dreams... which is kind of messed up.” HAHAHAHA I have nothing to add! What Zayn said!!! “So we’re gonna give that a go and uh see if it works,” he says, sounding appropriately skeptical, followed by “wish me luck”. Does this kind of sponcon count as malicious compliance? Technically he DID say the stuff he was supposed to- and he’s doing an instagram live for them Sat, supposedly. I can’t wait to see how that goes! Wish him luck! The latest installment of the NIL comic book video series is also out today, but just one this time instead of a pair. This week’s song is Connexion and the new comic shows us that the figure pursuing our hero is, drumroll-- himself! The call is coming from inside the house!

Unlike interview shy Zayn, however, Gigi is out there ready to overshare, as long as it’s to Vogue. She has plenty to say about giving birth to zaby Khai (newly revealed nickname: Khaiba) at home at the Pennsylvania farm. The article says that they decided to have the birth at home due to COVID placing restrictions on hospital births that would have prevented Bella and Zayn and Yolanda all being present, and after she and Zayn watched the documentary The Business of Being Born. “They placed a blow-up bath in their bedroom and sent their three cats and border collie away when the midwife expressed concern that the sphynx and Maine coon felines might puncture the tub with their claws,” the interviewer learns while horseback riding with Gigi. The article also says Zayn “caught the baby” but it isn’t a direct quote from Gigi and I’m thinking a bit of an exaggeration perhaps. Gigi had the baby at the Hadid family farm but she and Zayn have since relocated to live at his farm, which is nearby, where they say they will be raising the child, with Z’s mom Trisha coming to stay to help out for the first month, that Khai sleeps with them, and that Zayn said his experience of the whole thing reminded him of the birth in a lion documentary they’d watched. Neither mentioned it but it has been spotted that Gigi and Zayn each now have tattoos of the name, Khai, in Arabic.

Meanwhile, Niall surfaced only in golf guy mode- a Modest Golf announcement and a podcast appearance to promote the new Modest initiative to get young people into playing golf. He says they want to “get rid of that thing that’s been holding golf back for a long time, that it’s a boring sport…” and I know he means he’s trying to combat that idea but when I tell you I LAUGHED!

[hakuryuu]

PLEASE I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW (EITHER-OR!) NEW OR RONAH’S ANSWERS FOR THE WHOLE MEME YOU POSTED

NEW 1. How would you (or they) describe their gender, without using standard binary terms?: new would describe her gender as the color the sky gets right before the sunrise gets started in the summer


2. Are they religious?: no…..sort of…….religion is hard one bc gods like Canonically Exist in this world and she Knows This And Believes In Them but she’s not particularly spiritual and doesn’t have one god she’s particularly devoted to AND because of the memory thing she only like vaguely knows that the gods exist at all so sjdflkjs


3. What social media platforms would they use (if in a world where those existed) and what would they use them for? Bonus: What would they get cancelled for?: new would probably have an instagram but not use it very much, she’d maybe post pictures of stuff now and again and she likes to follow people who make cool things but i think she would mostly make an instagram account and then forget about it (bonus: paz and caramel are BIG on twitter)


4. Do they have any weird scars, and how did they get them?: she has a bunch of regular accumulated life-living scars from like scratches and bug bites and falls and stuff, but nothing really weird except for that she doesn’t remember how she got a lot of them


5. What crime are they most likely to be arrested for?: loitering U__U


6. Ok, what crime are they most likely to have actually committed?: trespassing


7. If the one prison phone call thing was real, who would they call?: paz w/o hesitation (paz is the richest and will probably show up with caramel and run anyway)


8. Do they collect anything? What do they collect?: she collects little trinkets and things! usually small emotionally relevant items that are from or remind her of experiences she’s had (her haircutting knife, that portrait of run in her bag, the small bells off her dress, etc)


9. Who would they platonically marry for tax benefits?: PAZ…….


10. What superstition/paranormal entity/conspiracy theory do they believe is 100% real, whether or not they admit it?: i can’t think of anything like this for new im sorryyyyy i’ll come back to this one


11. What’s something embarrassing they did as a child/teenager?: [REDACTED DUE TO MEMORY LOSS]


12. What’s something embarrassing they probably did yesterday?: walked up to someone without looking directly at them, assumed they were run, started talking to them, and then realized that they were just a random stranger and not run


13. What hobby did they try once and give up on? Why?: jewelry-making! she wanted to make more fun earrings and stuff for herself and her friends but she doesn’t have access to many of the right tools for it and the stuff she managed to put together didn’t look how she wanted it to so she just stuck with weaving as a hobby


14. What niche topic do they get incredibly pedantic about?: SJKDGLF THANKS TO HER LIKE WEEK OF RESEARCH AT THE PIPER TOWN LIBRARY THAT ONE TIME SHE KNOWS SO MUCH ABOUT OLD RICH FAMILIES ON PANSIA…..paz will make some offhand comment about a family the mahaleys work at and new will be like. eyes emoji


15. What’s their favorite food to make?: she loves apple cinnamon oatmeal and loves to make it from scratch ;__;


16. What do you think this character’s worst decision was? What does this character think their worst decision was?: New Has Done Nothing Wrong In Her LIFE (SHE thinks her worst decision was agreeing to abandon caramel and run & go with paz when paz left them, even though they ended up turning back pretty quickly)


17. Is there anything you wish the writers had done differently with this character? Why?: I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO SEE THE WRITER GIVE HER SOME MORE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT IN THE SECOND HALF OF FMFY, I THINK THAT SHE AND ALL OF THE CHARACTERS COULD HAVE REALLY BENEFITTED FROM EXPLORING THOSE NEW WEIRD DYNAMICS BEFORE THE CLIMAX OF THE BOOK,


18. What character from another work do you think they’d get along really well with?: within my own works (elise nano extended universe) i think that she would get along with maimou from ttsp (he’s that kind of friendly that would put her at ease and draw her out of her shyness somewhat i think), and outside of my own works i have this vague sense that she might get along with charlotte’s oc io?


19. What character from another work would be their mortal enemy?: not mortal enemy but i think that she and turnadot from lamsm would be at odds because of the like difference in approach they have to everything that’s happening to them and the difference of experience… oh iro i think would get frustrated at her easily i think


20. What’s a headcanon you’ve always wanted to share but none of these ask memes ever ask you about it?: I Am Constantly Sharing All My Headcanons And No One Can Stop Me

---

RONAH 1. How would you (or they) describe their gender, without using standard binary terms?: you know when you light a fire in the snow at night and the light is orange and the shadows are this bright blue? that color


2. Are they religious?: yes! they’re a big believer in the moon and the cycle (ironically….. :( )


3. What social media platforms would they use (if in a world where those existed) and what would they use them for? Bonus: What would they get cancelled for?: gjsdlgjsf i really feel like the closest they have to a social media presence is like. a goodreads account. and then they show up in the background of thrip’s tiktoks sometimes and their brothers reference them in tweets and raiv’s instagram has a lot of selfies with them


4. Do they have any weird scars, and how did they get them?: the only weird scar they have is one on their thigh where they accidentally cut themself mid-switch between elf and wolf forms and it took forever to heal and it’s BRIGHT red


5. What crime are they most likely to be arrested for?: grim answer: being a wolf shifter


6. Ok, what crime are they most likely to have actually committed?: accessory to murder U___U


7. If the one prison phone call thing was real, who would they call?: they’d want to call raiv, but they would call laithe (they would consider calling bliss “walked barefoot across the country to get out of a witchcraft trial” parvo and then immediately decide against it)


8. Do they collect anything? What do they collect?: they have a modest storybook/folktale book collection, just a small shelf of their favorites, but they aren’t really the collecting type


9. Who would they platonically marry for tax benefits?: they would (queer)platonically marry bliss for tax benefits, although honestly bliss is getting the benefit because it means they never have to do taxes again because ronah will do them


10. What superstition/paranormal entity/conspiracy theory do they believe is 100% real, whether or not they admit it?: probably one that they’re kind of embarrassed about but still believe deep down that lonaih and unaech (wolf shifter folk story cornerstones) are still alive and out there somewhere somehow


11. What’s something embarrassing they did as a child/teenager?: they were VERY into performing songs and plays and stuff when they were younger, which is something that they feel kind of silly and embarrassed about now (but they still love to tell stories)


12. What’s something embarrassing they probably did yesterday?: walked around the corner and saw themself in a mirror and scared themself


13. What hobby did they try once and give up on? Why?: music, because it was impractical…. :(


14. What niche topic do they get incredibly pedantic about?: LITERALLY EVERYTHING, THATS LIKE THEIR JOB, I LOVE THEM


15. What’s their favorite food to make?: do you remember that braid of pesto bread iro was briefly eating in the beginning of lle? you might not because i suddenly can’t remember if you read the whole thing or just the kavi chapter, BUT ronah learned how to make that because it’s both iro and thrip’s favorite food


16. What do you think this character’s worst decision was? What does this character think their worst decision was?: i personally think that the decision to actively assist their family in a scheme to murder a moon goddess for revenge isn’t the BEST idea they’ve ever had. ronah thinks their worst decision was leaving raiv behind


17. Is there anything you wish the writers had done differently with this character? Why?: it would be cool if the writer had. written the last three to five chapters of the book they’re in. i think that would have been neat
.

18. What character from another work do you think they’d get along really well with?: i think that they and kavi would bond over a love of family and stories!! w/i my own works i kind of like to think that they would get along with farfara from tayl. sonia from ttsp would also remind them of their family, and i think they’d like her for that


19. What character from another work would be their mortal enemy?: this is niche but the bounty hunter from see me through would hate them


20. What’s a headcanon you’ve always wanted to share but none of these ask memes ever ask you about it?: they used to dye their hair when they were younger!

[greengay]

Thank you for being one of the only blogs to talk about rpf 🧡 I like it a lot, but I feel like it’s become taboo to mention it? I don’t post about it because I’m worried people will think I’m weird

LOL JUST DOIN’ MY PART....

TBH!!! sooooo many people feel like you do LOL like, a lot of people enjoy it and know it’s harmless and SO MANY PEOPLE follow my nsfw gd blog (sorry for not answering the asks yet......executive dysfunction....)

1) i don’t care about followers or whatever, i am just here to scream into the void and if people tune in, cool

2) YA it’s become taboo moreso recently because I think fan culture has gotten.....younger? because of people being able to access the internet easier? like back in the day, you used to have to either have a computer or log onto the family computer IF you were allowed, so fandoms skewed older? like at least 15+....now 9 years old all have iphones and can access fan communities etc. which is....terrifying tbh.

BUT! with that, i think especially with l*rry and r*den and ph*n (disregarding if the relationships were real or not) younger people don’t understand boundaries as well and can’t really comprehend the fact that the people they’re reading fic about AREN’T the same people that they’re tweeting/commenting on ig posts of.......i mean they are, but i think it’s pretty much understood that in fic.....none of these things have actually happened. it’s just taking a daydream about a hot celeb and writing it out, or it’s using gerard way’s face + likeness + personality traits gleaned from on stage/interviews and creating a character based on that.

3) ALSO. celebs/musicians/etc. have gotten 1000x more accessible? AGAIN, with ryden.....back in the day it would stay on livejournal or tumblr and ryan and brendon (i know he’s cancelled or w/e but i think ryden is the best example) wouldn’t be exposed to it unless they actively sought it out (except for the crazy fans that would wait for them in airports LOL but that was v few and far between). but then. instagram and twitter became WAY more popular and suddenly fans could access the love of their life any time they wanted!!!! and why not use that access to confirm/get more “lore” about their favorite ship? /s which kinda related to point #2 bc it was mostly young people doing this.

now if you see frank iero MENTION gerard way the twitter replies will be FILLED with “frerard” 😬 and 1) if you do believe they had something (i believe they DID....not currently tho) it obviously wasn’t public, so why not respect their privacy lol. not to mention that it’s in the PAST and we don’t know if it was a painful split (frank was HEARTBROKEN after mcr broke up and would shit talk gerard in interviews lol so) its best to assume it was and NOT bring it up to hurt him more and 2) it affects their real life relationship at this point!

there’s a difference between knowing something is out there and being tagged in it/having it shoved in your face. for the most part, bands have never cared abt ships and actually would tease them a little cos they knew it would “sell” the band better and excite fans and show that they aren’t like......abt to go into a gay panic bc someone thought they were fucking their friend.

THIS IS ANOTHER ESSAY/RANT ENTIRELY, but i think band rpf is a safe and healthy way to explore sexuality + emotions if you are too scared/traumatized/whatever to go out and try everything you ever imagined. especially if you are afab and you want to have sex with men. it’s scary out there!

like. real men might be assholes and take advantage of me and could hurt me. but projecting onto billie and mike is completely safe, especially because i’m so far removed from it. there’s also like....this is fake deep, but whatever....the aspect of exploring Queerness in a safe way? like in fics that aren’t just smut. LIKE 12-17 year old me reading NOTHING but m/m fic with some f/f thrown in there and still thinking i was straight LOL. and it just being....completely normalized for me until i was comfortable enough to admit that i was bisexual to myself? IDK IF Y’ALL KNOW THE COMPARTMENTILIZATION PEOPLE THAT GROW UP IN VAGUELY CONSERVATIVE AREAS WITH NO REPRESENTATION GO THROUGH. i would LITERALLY stare at my friends (who were girls) lips and think about kissing them and just be like....HM! THAT WAS WEIRD! LET’S NEVER ADDRESS THAT INTERNALLY.

you can argue that there’s an aspect of fetishization, but i think the concept of celebrity & stan culture is fetishization in and of itself. like.

Fetishization refers to a process of imbuing an object or idea with power. A fetish object is often associated with sexual gratification, desire, and worship. Fetishization marks a cultural, psychological, and social technique of fetishizing things by making them appear larger than life, animate, or sexually desirable (→ Sexualization in the Media). It is argued that this process has profoundly influenced contemporary consumer culture (Fernbach 2002; Jhally 1987; Schroeder 2002). (x)

like if you even vaguely idolize a celeb/put a celeb on a pedestal or reblog a text post about them........that’s fetishization, babey! you don’t ACTUALLY know them!!!! they’re just.....some guy! billie joe is just.....some guy who’s really good at writing songs. he’s actually kinda ugly but we all find him attractive and go 😍 over his traditionally unattractive features cos he is talented and famous. if he was some dude at your gas station you would NOT be posting abt him on instagram.

but because i love and respect him i think he is beautiful 💖 and the only reason i can “love” someone i don’t know is celeb worship culture.

and the people who compare girls liking m/m fic to LESBIAN PORN. LOL. i think that’s so deeply insidious that, again, it’s another post. ACTUALLY i think i’ve already posted abt it waaaaay back.

omg i’m sorry this turned out so long...

[abigailzimmer]

Favorite Reads of 2020

In this year of slowness, thank god for books to make the world a little larger again. I read several classics for the first time—Shelley’s Frankenstein and Rachel Carson’s Silent Spring and Bernadette Mayer’s Midwinter Day—all of which felt important to return to the source material, to see how these books shaped those that came after them. And I delved into new books from favorite authors whose words I will always seek out—like Kelly Schirmann’s The New World and Heather Christle’s The Crying Book—and I branched out into mystery and romance books because they kept pages turning and tidied everything up so neatly at the end, which if not my usual fare, was sorely needed in this strange year. But since I do love a list, here are the books that sung to me / inspired me / shaped me:

1. Exquisitely told and inventive in form, Women Talking by Miriam Toews centers on a group of Mennonite women in South America who discover they're being drugged and raped during the night by the men in their community. While the men are away, the women meet to decide whether they will stay and forgive their attackers, as their community’s religious leaders ask them to, or leave the colony and start anew. Their conversation over the course of two days questions the role of women, what freedom and forgiveness really mean, how to fulfill one’s calling as a woman, mother, and believer, whether one must choose one thing over another, and whether staying or leaving carries the greater risk. It’s a thoughtful and creative approach to hard questions and the complicated reasons why there’s never a right answer.

2. Ilya Kaminsky's collection, Dancing in Odessa, was one of the first books of contemporary poetry I ever read, lent to me by a friend in college, and I remember being stunned at what poetry could be and do. Deaf Republic stuns in the same way. The poems are incredibly cinematic, telling the story of an occupied town and its people and a couple who fall in love. When a young, deaf boy is shot by the soldiers, the entire town pretends deafness in rebellion, finding excuses to not understand the soldiers. They bear witness to the boy’s death and honor his life. Though a fictional town, the call to political action, to really see those who are being oppressed and stand for justice with them, is resonant for any time and place. Plus, Ilya writes the most beautiful love poems.

3. Another cinematically-inclined poetry book is GennaRose Nethercott’s The Lumberjack’s Dove. In this long poem/myth/fable, a lumberjack accidentally cuts off his hand, which turns into a dove, and then a story parts ways. The lumberjack is not just a lumberjack and the hand-turned-dove is not just a hand-turned-dove, and the story visits both an operating room and a witch, and the story, of course, is one you've heard before and one that brings surprise and wonder to the telling. I simply adored it.

"Living creatures believe they own something as soon as they love it. They refuse to believe otherwise, no matter how many times a beloved vanishes."

4. I fell in love—hard—with The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller and her exquisite, queer love story between Achilles and Patroclus. Miller’s writing is wonderful and after reading her novel Circe as well—another fantastic retelling of Greek myths—I spent the remainder of the year searching for a novel that compared.

5. Some books meet you in the right moment. The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating by Elisabeth Tova Bailey is a slow and attentive book on small things, which in 2020’s period of waiting and uprootedness was a gift. Due to chronic illness, Bailey finds herself confined to a bed with little to do. Her friend brings her a potted plant and a snail whose pace of life, matching her own, becomes a comfort and lessons her loneliness. As she watches, she learns intimately the snail's eating and sleeping habits, its daily adventures, and the conditions it best thrives in. Later she delves into the literature and science of gastropods and weaves her notes in with her own observations and stories of the snail. Her writing is light and funny and holds such tenderness for this very small creature.

"In the History of Animals, Aristotle noted that snail teeth are 'sharp, and small, and delicate.' My snail possessed around 2,640 teeth, so I'd add the word plentiful to Aristotle's description....With only thirty-two adult teeth, which had to last the rest of my life, I found myself experiencing tooth envy toward my gastropod companion. It seemed far more sensible to belong to a species that had evolved natural tooth replacement than to belong to one that had developed the dental profession. Nonetheless, dental appointments were one of my favorite adventures, as I could count on being recumbent. I could see myself settling into the dental chair, opening my mouth for my dentist, and surprising him with a human-sized radula."

6. Insecurity System by Sara Wainscott was one of my favorite books published in 2020. The poems in it make up four crowns—a series of sonnets in which the last line of each poem becomes the first line (or an echo of it) of the next. The playfulness of the form as well as the topics give the book an energy: Sara muses on time travel, levitation, memory, flowers ("people who read poems know a rose / is how the poet drags in genitalia"), motherhood, Mars, and mythical transformations (children tell their mothers they have turned to seals “and it is true”). Sara is funny and wry, and yet she also captures some difficult emotions of grief and depression, a struggle with complacency amid daily obligations “Sentences become drawn out affairs / but I am doing what I can / to answer one word each day.” The poems move from the mundane to a hard feeling and then onward to wonder and a bit of the fantastical, which I guess is just how life goes—I love how these emotions are all rolled together and always shifting.

7. Asiya Wadud’s powerful long poem Syncope is one I’ve returned to often throughout the year. She tells the story of 72 refugees who fled Tripoli in an inflatable boat in 2011 and were stranded for 14 days, despite the presence of 38 maritime vessels who could have rescued them, but didn’t. Instead, only 11 passengers survived. Syncope is both an indictment against those who did not act and a eulogy for the dead, returning humanity to people who were deemed not worth saving but who were “luminous in that / we were each born under the / fabled light of some star.”

“We began as 72 ascendants by that I mean we were a collective many each bound for greatness merely in the fact that we were each still living”

8. Eula Biss’s Having and Being Had is a thoughtful and exploratory conversation about capitalism and its effects on what we do and how we think. In a series of short vignettes, Eula picks apart what consumption, work, accounting, and investment mean on a personal and everyday level (albeit a white, middle class level). Who defines value among boys trading Pokemon cards and how did Monopoly's origins in economic injustice shift to pride in bankrupting players and if one of Eula's favorite things about being a new house owner is easy access to a laundry machine, is her house merely a $400,000 container for one washer and dryer? Her essays bounce from work that is valued, unseen or shamed; the perceptions and realities of being poor or rich; our approach to gift-giving and art-making and pleasure—weaving together research, observations, and conversations with friends.

9. In Grief Sequence, poet Prageeta Sharma’s grieves the loss of her husband in a kind of journal, tracing the memories of his diagnosis, the hard and normal days, the days before diagnosis, and the days after he is gone during which she tries to make sense of her new reality: “How gauche it is to be in this body being unseen by you now,” she writes. “You are not you anymore and I am trying to understand how a human with feelings has disappeared.” Her writing is excellent but it is hard to sit with and next to her pain, and it makes me wonder: when does one read such a book? When you’ve also lost a beloved to cancer? To be in conversation with someone who has, with Prageeta? Do you read for the sake of the living or to honor a body who was once here? Prageeta writes, “Poetry and grief are the same: you are taught to care about it when it happens to you.” I don’t know who to recommend this book to, but it spoke to me, and I’m glad she wrote it, as a monument, of sorts, to a specific togetherness and to a person.

10. The Lives of the Monster Dogs by Kirsten Bakis is a strange and sweet book about a race of genetically-engineered dogs, created initially to be soldiers, who move to New York in the ‘90s while still holding onto the customs and dress of nineteenth-century Prussia, which is to say: I don't know if I ever would have picked this book up had a friend not recommended it. Told through news clippings, letters, journal entries, an opera(!), and the first-person account of a human who befriends them, their story has echoes of Frankenstein as the monster dogs reflect on their creator and what it is to be human, to have purpose and hope, to wrestle with a clouded past and an uncertain future. "It's a terrible thing to be a dog and know it," writes one monster dog scholar after some of the dogs begin to revert back to their primal state. I loved the varied forms, the piecing together of the dog’s history, and the surreal mark they left in the book’s world and my world.

For more books throughout the year, follow along on Instagram at book.wreck.

[fandom-star]

Non-Binary Week

I've not answered any of the questions the organisers of this have put out until now, but as yesterday was the last day, I'm just gonna answer them all today!

1. Personally, my experience of being non-binary is being a mix of both the male and female genders. The way I experience it can be shown in the ratio male:female as 80:20.

2. My pronouns are they/them, however I probably wouldn't mind he/him either.

3. My honorific is Mx. I used to have a mixed (ha) opinion on it, but over the past six months or so I've grown to actually really love it!

4. I mean, naturally I have to say that the purple on the flag represents me best! It's my favourite colour! However, of the four colours, it's the most obvious to symbolise the mix of male and female that I experience.

1. The first time I heard of non-binary was when an old internet friend of mine came out as non-binary. I never really thought much of it other than now knowing what pronouns I had to use for them! 

2. I started questioning my gender more than two years ago. I used several non-binary labels before settling on just non-binary seven months later.

3. As I said before, I used some other more specific labels, which changed as my understanding of myself developed. 

4. I have! I came out to my best friend basically when I labelled myself as non-binary. Then I came out to my mum the next Summer. Then I subtly came out to my other friends. And I came out on Instagram on Tuesday (actual non-binary day) and Friday.

5. I haven't come out to my granny or my dad, and I almost certainly never will. 

1. I love the community we have. Like, the majority of non-binary people I know on- and offline are really amazing.

2. I definitely know a lot more about gender and the history of it than I used to.

3. I've gained gained more acceptance of the way I am. I've also gained insight to some of my behaviours when I was younger. 

4. My favourite gender euphoria moments are definitely seeing or hearing my name. Not many people actually call me Elliott regularly, which is fine bc in most settings it's preferred that they don't (e.g. at school or in fandom spaces where I've almost always been known as Ell), but it's really nice to open my laptop and see it wanting "Elliott J" to log in and things like that.

1. I'm asexual, bi- and/or panromantic and autistic.

2. Well, my sexuality and everything intersect because it's all queer. Autism and trans identities intersect because a lot of autistic people are also trans and/or non-binary. While there is no exact reasoning behind this, some have connected it to our lack of understanding or different view of social situations.

3. Well, autistic and non-binary rep is incredibly lacking separately, put them together and, well...

4. Please, please, please, don't listen to people who are "oh so concerned about the lickle autistic childwen" because they pretend that we can't think for ourselves, or worse, they BELIEVE that. We can. If autistic people couldn't think for themselves, I wouldn't be running this blog. I wouldn't be writing fanfiction. I probably wouldn't have friends. Don't fall into that trap.

1. I am asexual (cba to go into romantic attraction). I have known that for years, I feel like I probably class as an ace veteran! I'm not really sure how to describe my relationship with the terminology. 

2. Being non-binary definitely plays a part in how I refer to my body and and my relationship with it. As anyone who follows me probably knows, I have bad chest dysphoria, so I don't refer to that part of me with the "anatomically correct" term, I just call it my chest. I can't really change the terminology of anything else that bothers me. But yeah, being non-binary and the dysphoria I experience because of that definitely affects how I think of my body and relate to it.

3. Gender roles are shit, not gonna lie. I just do whatever the hell I want. I mean, cis people obsessed with them would probably say I fulfil the male role more than the female. But I don't know.

4. I definitely present myself in a more masculine way. I have short hair, I don't wear dresses or skirts, I only ever wear any kind of make-up for cosplay. However, a lot of my features are seen as proving that I'm "biologically female", and I don't bind as often as I'd like. 

5. I don't really know how often I think about being non-binary. I mean, I think about my gender more often than a cis man or woman probably does, but... I don't know. Not as much as I used to. 

1. Oh god, so many things people think are wrong. Probably that non-binary genders are new thing. They're not, they're really not. Western cultures just covered them up. A lot of indigenous cultures have more than one gender.

2. The most dangerous thing that people can think is that it doesn't exist and are only used to get attention. NO! If we wanted attention, there are SO MANY BETER AND SAFER WAYS TO DO SO!!!

3. I think it's definitely cis people, especially white cis people, who perpetrate the most misconceptions about us.

4. Binary people need to understand pretty much everything I've just said. And that if you want to have a say in this, do your research. And not just from a binary perspective. Actually LISTEN TO THE PEOPLE YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT!!!

5. Just... just don't ask me anything unless I say you can. And when I do tell, please don't ask anything invasive.

1. I have both changed my name and my pronouns.

2. I want to legally change my name. I also want to legally change my gender to non-binary, but that can't happen until the government agrees to allow it. Which they haven't. 

3. I think I want to take testosterone for some time. Maybe between six months and a year. I also want a chest reduction. Not top surgery, because I think it would feel wrong for me if there was nothing.

4. I haven't tried to access any gender services yet. I probably won't have to lie, I hope not, I'm a horrible liar, but I suppose we'll just have to see.

5. I want to grow out my natural facial hair. I have a somewhat abnormal amount of facial hair for someone who's afab, and mum makes me get it off bc she's worried about bullying and stuff, so I'll probably have to wait until I go to uni to do that, which is only two years, so!

Thank you for getting this far! I hope this gave you some insight into me and my experiences as a non-binary person.