#but i knew or had many friends who were bilingual growing up

[etirabys]

Apologies if this is personal and you don't want to answer (or you don't want to answer for any other reason!); if that is the case no worries. But anyway by virtue of the fact that I am (sort of) a linguist I often get curious about people's language situation. You speak English obviously but spent your childhood in Korea, and often went to the English language book store while there? What is like, your personal linguistic history? Like, what language(s) did you grow up speaking, which ones did you learn later and when, etc? How fluent do you consider yourself in both English and Korean? If you don't mind my asking.

Haha, this is a dream scenario for me (someone asking about a situation I find fascinating about myself because I've never met anyone else with that background, but is probably boring to most people). Here's a longer story than you probably want:

My parents emigrated to the US before I was born, stayed for a decade, and moved back to Korea right after I was born. They're conversational in English, and my sister (12 years my elder) is fluent. Speaking English is valuable in Korea, so they raised me to be bilingual. They taught me the alphabet, bought me English language children's books, and sent me to an English language school run by Christian missionaries for preschool, kindergarten, and part of first grade.

My sister left the country when I was three to go to a boarding school in the US, but she came back every year for holidays, spoke exclusively in English to me, and refused to let the conversation move on if I mispronounced a word.

When I was six, my parents moved further away from the missionaries' school and switched me to a neighborhood public elementary school. At this point I was mildly more fluent in English than in Korean. Reading (English books) was a self-sustaining reaction I spent every free hour on. There were fewer interesting Korean books for children. Korea had industrialized ~30 years prior, and the hangeul writing system had only been in full use ~50 years at that point. As far as I knew, there was no CS Lewis of Korea, no Tolkien, no Diana Wynne Jones. In Korean bookstores, many of the prominent books on display were translated – The Little Prince was popular for children, and there was a children's fiction fad around another French author (who afaik never made a splash in the States) whose name I forget.

So I'm reading like 10 hours a day, at the dinner table, on the escalator when my mom takes me while she's shopping, sometimes under the desk at school flipping the pages with my toes, because the teachers don't care. (This is a huge W as far as I'm concerned for Korea – public school teaching is a somewhat competitive and standardized government job, it attracts people who lack great passion for either teaching or controlling children.) Meanwhile my peers don't like me much because my vibes are rancid: I have a compulsive laugh tic I haven't gotten under control, and I don't seem to understand their preferences very well or actively seek to understand them. Fair enough. I have one friend at any given time and she's usually on the fence about me.

When I'm old enough to take the train on my own, some weekends my mom gives me 5000 won for the train ticket + lunch, and I go into Seoul to visit one bookstore that has a 10-shelf English section. I pick a book, spend the day finishing it, and go home. Instead of my English language skills lapsing and being overtaken by the language I'm immersed in, I'm going deeper into English. Which increased the disconnect between me and my peers. I remember overhearing a conversation about an anime (The Black Cat) and eagerly asking if they'd also read the Edgar Allen Poe short story. I wanted to much to talk about shared interests, but it didn't occur to me to "invite myself into their interests" by picking up the manga they talked about.

...this all made my childhood weird in ways that have shaped me hugely but are difficult to describe. I was isolated and not, happy and not, stimulated and not, developing unevenly...

At eleven I discover fanfiction.net, probably one of the most impactful events of my life. I'm running out of physical books, I've read everything five or ten times, but then the computer! has made a deal with me! It contains INFINITE LITERATURE, although sometimes people seemed to misspell things on purpose and I didn't know why. (I had, approximately, never encountered misspellings in written material before.) In return the internet would take MY SOUL FOREVER although I didn't realize this at the time. I post a 100K Harry Potter epic over the next year where Harry is trained by a special assassin cult that lives under a mountain.

My parents have no idea what is on the internet. They're on a new temporal continent with no clue there's a parasite that can turn your daughter into a fujoshi. They do know that they have a worrying child. But! Her grades are really good, especially when she's testing in English. Good enough that although they originally intended not to send me to the US (my sister got depressed and burned out, and they attributed it to sending her to a different country for school), it made much more sense for me to go. I was on track to get a full ride at an Ivy, a carrot they were Not Immune to, and I obviously despised Korea and wanted to leave.

When I arrived in the States, I was terrified of speaking English to real native speakers. My language experience was "reading/writing: 95% English, speaking/listening: 90% Korean". I could perfectly pronounce any English sentence when I tried, but I'd occasionally and bizarrely mix up R and L, or the vowel sounds "ih" and "eeh" if I weren't paying attention. This went away after a year but I felt extra shy and didn't talk much. I'd guess 80% of my social cachet in freshman year came from writing funny Facebook posts.

I remember my time in Korea without feeling bothered by any single aspect, but overall I still have a big sense of "wow I didn't like that", have avoided non-Americanized Korean people since getting here (ten years ago), and now speak Korean haltingly. I'll try to teach it to my children so that they have the option of that cultural connection, but I don't think I can do a good job. It's feels 90% true thinking/speaking Korean is just a normal skill, a thing I do sometimes on the phone – and 10% true that the happier and more whole I become in the US, the more unsettling it feels to speak Korean at all.

[lrenvs3000w24]

Privilege in Nature Interpretation

The concept of privilege plays a significant role in shaping individuals' relationships with nature, influencing access and opportunities to engage with the environment, and many other factors in life outside of nature. My working definition of privilege is advantages or opportunities unrelated to personal achievements or abilities but simply due to one’s background, social status and other factors. My definition is similar to the $100 race video in the courselink notes for the week, which highlighted disparities based on factors beyond the students accomplishments and actions.

Growing up in a big city with a single, hardworking mother, my early experiences were marked by limited access to nature. The inability to take time off work for zoo visits or nature excursions was a reality for many from lower-income backgrounds. Economic barriers, as outlined in the textbook, contribute significantly to this limitation (Beck et al, 2018). Additionally, people are faced with other problems, for example not having a car or money to pay entrance fees or food expenses like the textbook mentions (Beck et al, 2018). I remember when I was younger my mom would try to take me to a theme park once a year but I knew that meant I couldn't ask for anything inside because the entrance fee was already expensive. I also knew that we would most likely leave the park for lunch or bring our own food to munch on. Again this isn't the case for everyone but now that I am older I know that I was privileged enough to go as not everyone had that chance. 

Reflecting on my own journey, it wasn't until I moved to Canada that I had the opportunity to travel and explore nature. The privilege of my parents being able to take time off work and afford travel expenses opened up new horizons for me. This newfound ability to explore different places, cultures, and environments played a pivotal role in shaping my character and fostering a love for exploration which some don’t experience ever or until later in life.

The textbook’s emphasis on cultural barriers is also noteworthy. The ethnicity theory suggests that cultural preferences, shaped by factors such as history, family structure, and values, impact participation in outdoor activities (Beck et al, 2018). An example the textbook gave was camping, which might be perceived as an activity reserved for the affluent by urban minorities. This perspective highlights how cultural barriers can influence interpretations of nature-related activities and I can relate to that. Coming from a Hispanic family, we have never been camping, I have but with friends. When I have brought up camping to the family they look at me weirdly as if they could never do that and couldn’t know how. 

Communication barriers, particularly language barriers, further contribute to disparities in nature interpretation. The lack of bilingual interpreters, printed materials, and signs in languages other than English limits access for non-English speakers. The experiences of Hispanic visitors to National Forests in southern California, as discussed in the textbook, exemplify the challenges posed by language barriers. I lived in California for 13 years and go back pretty often and I have never once been to any of the beautiful national forests. I also don't know anyone in my family who has gone especially my family members that don't speak English. Additionally, this past year my aunt was looking to travel abroad and asked me how hard it would be for her as she doesn't know English which shows how limiting this can be.  

The last thing that the textbook talked about that I find extremely important is lack of representation. Personal experiences, such as my grandparents' tendency to visit areas with a larger Hispanic population, reflect a desire for familiarity and comfort. I have also felt a tendency to choose things related to my culture in different aspects of my life. So I wish to be a part of the representation in the Latin community. In conclusion, acknowledging and addressing these barriers is essential for creating inclusive and accessible environments for all individuals to connect with nature.

I am curious to know if any of you have dealt with any barriers in the nature world and how you as a nature interpreter would overcome them.

Beck, L., Cable, T. T., & Knudson, D. M. (2018). Interpreting cultural and natural heritage : for a better world. Sagamore Venture.

[chopper-witch]

Tbf fakest part of Ms. Marvel was the perfect translation from Urdu to English. Nothing is ever that smooth. That’s fake as fuck.

[thatlowiqbabe]

Hi! I was wondering if you could write something for HoO boys being your boy friend? Also, do you think it’s possible for you to do a trans (ftm) hispanic demiboy? Thanks!

Oh yeah sure! As a Demi-Boy it's my duty!

This is over 900 words so there's gonna be a part two (sorry bout that)

HOO Boys with A Hispanic!Demi-Boy! S/O

Frank Zhang

"Wait your a demi-boy? Like cause you're a demi-god orr"

"Oh okay, totally unrelated gotcha."

You probably came out to Frank after the Son of neptune, scared you'd never get the chance to tell him.

He asked some silly questions but obviously accepted you! He would do more research via internet but demi-gods and phones don't mix

(What do you mean he's been asking other trans demi-gods how to better understand, you obviously got the wrong chinese-canadian shape-shifting son of mars)

Anyway he loves you, and tries to switch pronouns often ❤️ (if you use multiple)

If you're ever feeling dysphoric, he'll turn into an cuddly animal of your choice to make you feel better.

Will turn into a bear and (threaten to)  eat a transphobe

(They probably taste funny lol)

(If you're bilingual) You, him and Jason sit in a circle and speak in spanish, canadian french, and latin, knowing damn well y'all don't understand each other.

Y'all be looking like this

Don't even try having Thanksgiving with him

"Happy Thanksgiving!"

".... I'm canadian."

"Oh, uhhh happy thursday then??"

Like sir, do you want some turkey or not?

Jason Grace

"So wait, if you're a demi-god and a demi-boy do they like cancel each other out?"

"I- baby no—"

"Can I call you God-Boy?"

Y'all give him a minute, boy brain ain't right after getting knocked out so many times 🤣

Being called God-Boy does make you feel powerful ngl

You probably "dated" during hoo, and after you started dating for real came out to him.

Uses both pronouns, like every other paragraph. (If you use multiple)

If you're a greek demi-god, he loves to take you over to Camp Jupiter, and take you on tours around the parthenon and go on dates

If you're roman, he takes you out to Camp half-blood and maybe even tour manhattan!

(Gotta be a group date though, he's been at Camp Jupiter since he was 3 and only left on quests, he don't know where he going)

(If your bilingual) He'll teach you latin if you teach him spanish! It's always cool to know another language, especially if you're partner speaks it.

If you're dysphoric, y'all take naps together.

You don't have to stress, whatever's outside can wait a while, right now it's just you and him ❤️

You're his little God-Boy, he loves you

What do you mean he specifically asked to do whatever chores you had that day? Uh-huh couldn't be him 🛑🖐️ stop playing

Don't let him meet your mortal parent

Boy be so nervous he don't know what to do

"Jason, dear could you pass me the (fav. Food) "

"Yes  (Mr./Mrs/Mx.) L/n, I will have a ham sandwich "

"..."

"..."

"..."

He left with a ham sandwich and a red face

He got invited back over, so it wasn't too bad tho lol

Leo Valdez

He already knew you were a demi-boy!

You probably came out to Leo before y'all started dating, and maybe before y'all knew you were demi-gods, he just has that "yes I'd beat a bitch's ass and lose, and what about it?" Energy y'know??

Obviously you could trust him.

Will try to to use both pronouns, but might stick with one for a while before switching it up and then sticking to one again

Y'all probably talk shit about people together honestly.

Let's be honest, if you were bilingual, with a boyfriend who was also bilingual, and y'all didn't like this one person you'd talk shit right in front of them.

If you're really petty you'd make it obvious too.

If you're ever feeling some dysphoria, don't worry cause Leo got dis-for-ya!

Iamsosorry

But seriously he'll build you tiny trinkets and stuff to help you feel better

Greatifyoureahoarderlikemelol

If you want, you could help him with building, or even build something yourself!

(You: somehow builds a bomb or something equally dangerous

Leo:

)

Y'all like to make smores, and probably sing the campfire song from spongebob while doing it

(Whether it's on Leo or an actual campfire depends on y'all mood)

"OUR C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E  S-O-N-G SONG"

"Hey, you did it without stuttering this time!"

Nico di Angelo

"So you trans your gender??"

"Uh no, I'm transgender, it doesn't work like that—"

"How do you trans your gender?? Is it a like a process to get your gender trans or does it happen all at once?"

This boy a whole boomer, lord have mercy 😭🖐️

Growing up in early 1900's he doesn't really understand, but he'll try.

If he feels like he's bothering you with too many with questions, he'll go bother Annabeth instead.

Uses both pronouns, despite not knowing how you can have more than one. (If you use multiple)

Will do his best to get rid of any internalized transphobia he might have. Even if he grew up around Bianca, it was a hateful time back then and he might have biases.

You're dysphoric, but how??

He understands how dysphoria works, as much as it pains him to know that you're hurting, he didn't understand how it could effect someone like you.

You were much braver than he was, not being outed and actually coming out on your own. You were the man you said you were and more.

Sometimes y'all just lay down outside under a tree and he'll sing to you.

(Y'all know I'm talking about Soldatino don't even play)

Those days can go from bad to okay to great, depending on what y'all do afterward.

Sometimes y'all go out to eat at McDonald's via shadow travel, and I hope you got cash cause the seven gonna want some too lol (this includes Rachel and Will btw)

"So you're ordering (big af order) to go, for just the two of you?"

"We're eating for nine."

"No baby we're eating for eleven remember?"

Cashier, who's just trying to earn they minimum wage:

I don't know how to end this lol

Um part 2 will be out soon, maybe like a day from now if I don't forget lol

Thank you for requesting! I hope it was up to your standards, if not then I hope you enjoyed it anyway, cause I enjoyed writing it!

If you're interested in my writing pls request, I only have one other to do so it might be done soon!

Also, I hope Leo's bilingual hc isn't offensive in anyway. I'm just realizing how rude that may sound. If it is I'll write a new one. I'm not bilingual but if I was that's what I'd do. Again, I hope I didn't come off as ignorant on that hc.

[splendidlyimperfect]

critical hit - chapter 3 [they're taking the hobbits to isengard]

When Sting tells Natsu that one of his friends from school is going to be joining their weekly Dungeons & Dragons game, Natsu isn’t impressed - their table is already full. But while Natsu and Gray’s in-game characters clash completely, Natsu finds that real-life Gray might not be that bad after all.

Chapter Summary: D&D night gets unexpectedly cancelled, but Natsu wants to hang out with Gray anyway.

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Pairings: Natsu/Gray, Sting/Rogue

Tags: Modern AU, Dungeons & Dragons, Role-Playing Games, Awkward Flirting, ADHD Natsu, Geek Gray

*i know i haven’t updated this in two whole years (my bad) but i finally got inspiration so thanks for your patience and enjoy <3*

*link to ao3 in the comments cause tumblr keeps fucking up my posts*

-----

“I’m stoked for this fight tonight!” Natsu grinned at Gray, who was curled up in the passenger seat of Natsu’s car, looking out the window at the slowly setting sun. “We’re gonna kick this thing’s ass.”

“I dunno about that,” Gray replied, fiddling with his necklace. Natsu couldn’t quite make out what the pendant was. “We’re all nearly dead and out of magic. We might be fucked.”

“Pfff,” Natsu scoffed, pulling out of the Starbucks parking lot and heading towards home. “Maybe with that attitude. Don’t worry, we’ll pull a win out of this. We always do! Did I tell you about the time we dropped a house on a dragon?”

Gray shook his head and Natsu launched into the story, complete with wild hand gestures and sound effects. He could feel Gray’s gaze on him as he listened intently, even when the retelling took several unexpected detours. It made something warm grow in Natsu’s chest. Most people in his life were used to his rambling, chalking it up to his ADHD and excitable nature. They usually tuned him out after a while, though, or nodded along while drifting off to something else.

Gray listened, though. He’d shifted in his seat to face Natsu, knee tucked under his leg, coffee held between both hands, and Natsu could feel the deliberate way he followed Natsu’s words. It made Natsu feel important.

He’d just wrapped up another story where they had accidentally created a super-intelligent zombie when both of their phones pinged.

“It’s Sting,” Gray said. “So sorry guys, I can’t make it tonight, work called me in last minute. Can we reschedule for next week?”

Natsu felt a flood of disappointment wash through him as he glanced over at Gray, whose brow was furrowed as he stared at his phone. He was so cute – he had gotten his eyebrow pierced at some point during the week, and it made him even more adorable.

“Well,” Natsu said, chewing on his lip. “That sucks.”

An awkward silence filled the car. Natsu really didn’t want to drive Gray home – he’d been waiting all week to see him, and when Natsu had picked him up, the shy smile Gray had given him had made Natsu feel breathless.

“Well, I don’t—did you wanna, uh…” Gray trailed off, tugging at a loose thread from the hole in his jeans. “I mean I don’t have any, uh, plans? Obviously, since we had—I mean, so maybe we, um, we could…”

“They put all the Lord of the Rings movies on Netflix,” Natsu said quickly, before he could chicken out. For once he was glad for the lack of filter between his brain and his mouth. “Wanna get takeout and watch one of them?”

Before the anxiety could set in, Gray glanced up and gave him a soft smile. “Yeah,” he said. “I’d like that.”

~

Gray’s favorite food turned out to be sushi.

“You’ve never had sashimi before?” he asked once they’d gotten back to Natsu’s place and unpacked the takeout onto the living room table.

“Is that the rice?” Natsu asked as he settled down cross-legged on the floor. “Or the fish?”

“The fish,” Gray said, pointing at the slices of raw salmon. “It’s good, I promise.”

Natsu gave him a dubious look, then frowned at the chopsticks that Gray handed him. “You’re gonna think I’m totally uncultured,” he said as he peeled off the wrapper, “but I’ve never used chopsticks.”  

“It’s not hard,” Gray reassured him. Natsu fumbled with the wooden sticks, glaring at them as he tried to get them to move. “Here,” Gray said, moving closer to Natsu and reaching out for his hands. “Like this.”

Natsu’s breath caught in his throat when Gray’s fingers touched his, settling the chopsticks between them and showing him where his thumb should go. Gray’s hands were cold, and each small touch made Natsu’s heart jump. His cheeks flushed hot when he dropped the chopsticks again, and this time it had nothing to do with clumsiness.

“I, uh, might have to stick to forks,” Natsu said with a nervous laugh. Gray was close enough to him that he could smell his shampoo – something light and fruity that made Natsu want to lean in and run his fingers through Gray’s hair. It looked so soft.

As if reading Natsu’s thoughts, Gray pushed his hair out of his eyes and tucked it behind his ear. Natsu’s eyes followed the movement, and when Gray’s gaze met his, he quickly looked back down at the food, hoping the heat in his cheeks wasn’t visible.

“That’s okay,” Gray said, and it took Natsu a second to realize that he was talking about the chopsticks and not the staring. “You can eat the rolls with your fingers.” He pointed at the second container. “Those ones don’t have fish in them. Just yams.”

“I’ll try the fish,” Natsu said before he could stop himself. He was glad Sting wasn’t here to tell Gray that Natsu had sworn off seafood ten years ago after going fishing with their grandfather and crying when he’d had to gut the salmon they’d caught.

It ended up being better than he’d expected, despite the strange texture.

“I haven’t had sushi in a while,” Gray admitted once they were done the meal. “I ate it every day in Japan.”

“You lived in Japan?” Natsu asked as he stuffed the styrofoam containers back into the plastic bags.

Gray nodded. “Yeah, I was there for an exchange program for a year. I’m from Montréal originally, though.” The soft way he said the word let Natsu finally place the soft accent he’d noticed every once in a while. Of course Gray was bilingual. Was there anything about him that wasn’t perfect?

“That’s awesome,” Natsu said. “When did you move here?”

“Six months ago, for school.” Gray crossed his legs, tucking his feet underneath him as he shifted on the couch cushion. “It’s really different here.”

“I can imagine,” Natsu said. “Have you made it down to Gastown yet? Rogue likes sushi and he says there’s lots of good places down there.”

“Oh, no, I haven’t.” Gray smiled as Natsu’s cat Happy hopped up onto the couch and rubbed himself against Gray’s legs. “I, um… I haven’t really been out too much. By myself.” He ran his finger behind Happy’s ears, who purred happily. “I’m a little—I get kind of anxious. Sometimes. To go alone.”

“I could take you,” Natsu offered before he could stop himself. “There’s so many places here you’d love – Granville Island’s amazing, they’ve got markets and this awesome café, and you’d probably like the art gallery there too. And if you haven’t been to the beach – well, beaches, there’s so many of them, and if you go to Stanley Park you can walk or take a bike, and there’s a…” He trailed off at the overwhelmed expression on Gray’s face. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“I’d like that,” Gray said, keeping his eyes fixed on Happy as a small smile crept across his face. “To go, I mean. With you.”

“Oh.” Natsu couldn’t hold in a grin. “Cool. It’s a date, then.”

Gray finally looked up at him and Natsu’s cheeks flushed when he realized what he’d said. Before Gray could reply, Natsu grabbed the remote from the table and thrust it into Gray’s hands.

“You can, uh, pick one. Of the movies,” he said as he pushed himself to his feet. “On Netflix. I’m gonna make popcorn.”

Natsu darted into the kitchen and exhaled, rubbing his face. His phone buzzed and he pulled it out of his pocket.

holy pain in the ass: you’d better be on a date, loser

Natsu groaned – of course Sting had done this on purpose, the asshole.

pyro-manic: you’re a jackass and a liar

holy pain in the ass: i think you mean ‘you’re welcome’

Natsu glared at the screen for a minute, trying to come up with something witty but eventually just shoving his phone back in his pocket.

When he headed back into the living room with the popcorn, Gray was still petting Happy, who had curled up in his lap and was purring contentedly. He’d taken off his hoodie and had rolled the sleeves of his World of Warcraft shirt up just enough that Natsu could see the never tell me the odds tattoo that wound around his wrist.

Natsu tried not to stare. Everything about Gray made him feel like he was thirteen with his first crush all over again. He’d dated other people before, obviously, but none of them were quite like Gray. There was something about him – a shy but carefree enthusiasm for the things he loved that drew Natsu in. It didn’t matter what kind of pop culture references Natsu made, Gray picked up on all of them. He could finish the movie quotes Natsu had memorized, knew all the best cards in Magic, had seen every anime that Natsu loved, and didn’t even tease him about his taste in music.

Natsu’s phone buzzed in his pocket again, drawing him out of his thoughts, and he ignored what he was sure was another text from Sting.

“I hope you don’t mind the subtitles,” Natsu said to Gray, gesturing at the screen as he sat down next to – but not quite touching – Gray. “I always have them on. It’s like, a thing, with my ADHD – auditory processing something? It just makes it hard to catch everything sometimes, the subtitles help.”

Gray nodded, scratching behind Happy’s ears. “It doesn’t bother me,” he said. “I usually have them on, too. It helped me when I was learning English.”

“Awesome.” Natsu took the remote and hit ‘play,’ then settled back against the couch as ‘Fellowship of the Ring’ started to play.

Natsu was glad he’d seen the movie at least ten times, because the only thing he could focus on was Gray. He couldn’t stop thinking about Sting’s text, about the word date, about the fact that he hadn’t felt like this about anyone in years. Natsu’s life was full of people – he was outgoing by nature – but none of them made him feel like Gray did.

They finished the popcorn quickly and Natsu leaned forward to set the bowl on the coffee table. When he settled back into the couch, he was certain Gray leaned into him a little. He held his breath, shifting as if to get comfortable, and ended up right next to Gray with their shoulders pressed together. It sent a thrill through Natsu and he tried his best to ignore the part of him that insisted he was not a teenager anymore and it was silly to get worked up over this. He tried to focus on the movie instead.

“You have my sword,” Aragon said on screen.

“And you have my bow.”

“And my axe.”

“And my vuvuzela,” Gray murmured absently.  

Natsu burst out laughing, immediately struck by the ridiculous video he hadn’t seen since in years. “Oh my god,” he said, nudging Gray’s shoulder with his as Gray’s cheeks turned pink. “You’re such a dork.” Before Gray could take offense, he added, “In a good way. I know exactly what you’re talking about and now I’m gonna have that song stuck in my head for the rest of the night.”

Gray laughed. “I just can’t take that scene seriously anymore,” he admitted. “My sister and I used to watch all of these movies on Christmas and quote along to it… it got pretty silly. And took forever ‘cause we’d watch all the extended editions in one sitting.” He played with his necklace as he talked, keeping his eyes on the screen.

Natsu was about to ask why they didn’t do it anymore but stopped himself when he remembered what Sting had mentioned when he’d first invited Gray to join D&D. Gray’s sister had died unexpectedly just before he’d moved here, and Gray didn’t like talking about it.

“We can watch them all if you want,” Natsu offered instead. Gray’s expression shifted and Natsu wasn’t quite sure what it meant – he was hard to read even when they weren’t talking about personal things. But then the corner of his lip curled up in a tiny smile and he nodded.

“If you can sit still that long,” he teased.

Natsu laughed. “Yeah, I might end up upside-down or something at some point. But that’s okay.”

Gray’s smile got a little wider. “I’d like that,” he said softly.

“Okay,” Natsu said. He tried his best to keep a huge grin from creeping across his face. “Cool. Yeah. Me too.” 

~

Natsu managed to sit fairly still until about halfway through ‘The Two Towers.’ They’d had plenty of breaks – including one where they’d pulled up ‘They’re Taking the Hobbits to Isengard’ on Gray’s phone and sang along until they were both laughing hysterically – but it was getting difficult to not fidget. He was about to ask if they could take another quick break when Gray shifted and the back of his hand brushed Natsu’s.

Natsu immediately froze, all restless thoughts banished from his head as he focused on the sensation of Gray’s knuckles against his. They’d been moving closer and further apart all evening, bumping shoulders and knees, but this didn’t feel like an accidental touch. Something about it was deliberate, and this time Gray wasn’t moving away.

Heat sparked in Natsu’s stomach and he stared down at their hands, hoping to hell that he wasn’t misreading Gray’s intentions as he returned the touch. He heard Gray’s soft intake of breath, and several nearly unbearable seconds passed before Gray shifted closer and slid their fingers together. He was warm against Natsu’s side, and when he carefully tipped his head onto Natsu’s shoulder, Natsu was certain that Gray could hear the frantic slamming of his heart.

He exhaled as quietly as he could as he ran his thumb down the side of Gray’s hand, enjoying the soft noise that Gray made in response. His hair tickled Natsu’s cheek, soft and fine, and when Natsu rested his cheek against the top of Gray’s head, Gray hummed happily and cuddled closer.

The uncertainty that had been following Natsu around all night immediately vanished as he let himself relax against Gray, squeezing his hand gently as they pressed against each other. It felt so right. Natsu hadn’t realized how long it had been since he’d cuddled anyone until they were both comfortable and breathing in tandem. He felt more relaxed than he had in years.

The movie kept playing but Natsu barely paid attention. His brain, always in overdrive, immediately started to whether or not he should kiss Gray, if that was moving too fast, if he should maybe put his arm around Gray or whether or not that would be a cheesy high school romcom move. Gray solved the issue a few minutes later by stretching and nudging Natsu’s arm up, then curling up against him.

“I can hear you thinking,” Gray said quietly as the battle for Helm’s Deep raged on in the background. “Or panicking. I can’t tell.”

“I’m not panicking.” Natsu wasn’t sure if he was lying or not.

“Okay.” Gray rested his head against Natsu’s collarbone. “Good.”

The movie came to an end not long after that, but Gray didn’t move. He ran his fingers up Natsu’s arm instead, touching the scar that Natsu had gotten after a motorcycle mishap years ago. Gray traced patterns between Natsu’s freckles, then ran his hand back down and touched Natsu’s palm.

“Are we—”

“Is this—”

They both laughed as they talked at the same time, and Gray shifted until he was looking up at Natsu and they were nearly cheek-to-cheek. Warmth sparked in Natsu’s stomach and he leaned in, nudging Gray’s nose with his own. There was a moment of anticipation where neither of them moved, and then Gray closed the distance and pressed their lips together.

The heat in Natsu’s chest spread as Gray kissed him, rushing across his cheeks and down to his fingertips. He made a soft sound, tipping his head and pulling Gray closer until they were facing each other. Slowly, he reached out and brushed Gray’s hair out of his face, running his fingers through the silky strands. It was just as soft as it looked.

When Gray finally pulled back, his cheeks were flushed pink and he didn’t quite meet Natsu’s eyes.

“I, um…” He bit his lip uncertainly.

“I really like you,” Natsu said quickly before he could change his mind. “Like. A lot.”

“Oh.” A small smile worked its way across Gray’s face. “Good. I like you too. Also a lot.”

Natsu laughed, leaning back in and kissing Gray’s nose. “Sting did this on purpose,” he said, gesturing to his phone that was sitting on the coffee table. “He’s an idiot, but I’m kinda glad he did.”

“Me too.”

Natsu ran his fingers through Gray’s hair again, then pulled him in for another kiss. It was soft and sweet, but Natsu’s stomach still sparked with excitement at the touch. Gray was warm everywhere they pressed together, and Natsu never wanted to let go.

Gray pressed one more kiss to Natsu’s lips, then his cheek, then pressed their foreheads together. “I haven’t dated anyone in a long time,” he admitted, cheeks flushed pink. “I just… can we take it slow?”

“Of course,” Natsu said quickly. He kissed the tip of Gray’s nose. “I’m just happy to—I like spending time with you. And kissing. That’s good—great—too. Really great.”

Gray laughed, squeezing Natsu’s hand and kissing him again. Then he looked back at the TV screen where Netflix was suggesting ‘Return of the King’ as their next film.

“You wanna keep watching?” Natsu asked. “I promised you a marathon.” He looked at the clock, which already read 2:47 a.m.

“Yes? But I know you have to work tomorrow.”

“It’s okay,” Natsu reassured him, grinning. “I actually took tomorrow off because today was supposed to be our last D&D session and I thought it might take all night. Plus, I’m not tired.” He kissed Gray’s cheek again. “Maybe just a little distracted.”

“Just a little?” Gray ran his fingers through Natsu’s hair and surprised him by tugging on it gently.

“Maybe a lot,” Natsu admitted. He ran his hand down Gray’s side, then pulled him closer until he was almost in Natsu’s lap. “But I’m okay with it.”

~

They both fell asleep on the couch before ‘Return of the King’ was over. When they woke up the next morning in each other’s arms, Gray blushed furiously, but eagerly returned Natsu’s morning kisses.

“I guess I’d better get you home,” Natsu said as he ran his fingers through the tangles in Gray’s hair. “You’ve got class soon, hey?”

Gray nodded. “I’d rather stay here,” he admitted.

“Look, I’m happy to kiss you all day, but I’m also not gonna be the reason you fail your classes.”

Gray raised an eyebrow at him. “I’ll have you know that I have a 4.0 GPA.”

“Guess I’m dating a genius then, huh?” Natsu paused. “Are we? Dating? I mean, is that what you wanna—”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” Natsu grinned, kissing Gray’s nose, then nudged him off the couch. “C’mon,” he said as he sat up and stretched. “Let’s get you some coffee and get you home.”

Natsu’s pantry was nearly empty, so they stopped for coffee and bagels and ate quietly on the drive back to Gray’s place, holding hands across the console. When they pulled into the dorm parking lot, Natsu let go regretfully and leaned over for a kiss.

“See you on Sunday?” he asked, then shook his head. “No, that’s too long. How about Tuesday? I can take you to Gastown and show you around.”

Gray’s face lit up and he nodded. “Yeah,” he said, smiling shyly at Natsu and squeezing his fingers. “I’d like that.”

“Perfect.” Natsu kissed him again, tasting coffee on his lips. “It’s a date.”    

[allthatremainsislnl]

Forgetting My First Language | The New Yorker

Forgetting My First Language

When I speak Cantonese with my parents now, I rely on translation apps.

Jenny Liao

September 03, 2021

Illustration by Jo Zixuan Zhou

For many children of immigrants, to “succeed” in America, we must adopt a new language in place of our first—the one our parents speak best—without fully considering the strain it places on our relationships for the rest of our lives.

No one prepared me for the heartbreak of losing my first language. It doesn’t feel like the sudden, sharp pain of losing someone you love, but rather a dull ache that builds slowly until it becomes a part of you. My first language, Cantonese, is the only one I share with my parents, and, as it slips from my memory, I also lose my ability to communicate with them. When I tell people this, their eyes tend to grow wide with disbelief, as if it’s so absurd that I must be joking. “They can’t speak English?” they ask. “So how do you talk to your parents?” I never have a good answer. The truth is, I rely on translation apps and online dictionaries for most of our conversations.

It’s strange when I hear myself say that I have trouble talking to my parents, because I still don’t quite believe it myself. We speak on the phone once a week and the script is the same: “Have you eaten yet?” my father asks in Cantonese. Long pause. “No, not yet. You?” I reply. “Why not? It’s so late,” my mother cuts in. Long pause. “Remember to drink more water and wear a mask outside,” she continues. “O.K. You too.” Longest pause. “We’ll stop bothering you, then.” The conversation is shallow but familiar. Deviating from it puts us (or, if I’m being honest, just me) at risk of discomfort, which I try to avoid at all costs.

I grew up during the nineties in Sheepshead Bay, a quiet neighborhood located in the southern tip of Brooklyn, where the residents were mostly Russian-Jewish immigrants. Unable to communicate with neighbors, my parents kept to themselves and found other ways to participate in American culture. Once a month, my dad attempted to re-create McDonald’s chicken nuggets at home for my two brothers and me before taking us to the Coney Island boardwalk to watch the Cyclone roller coaster rumble by. On Sundays, my mom brought me to violin lessons, and afterward I accompanied her to a factory in Chinatown where she sacrificed her day off to sew blouses to pay for my next lesson while I did homework. These constant acts of love—my parents’ ideas of Americana—shaped who I am today. Why is it so difficult for me, at age thirty-two, to have a meaningful discussion with them? As an adult, I feel like their acquaintance instead of their daughter.

During my visits back home from California, our time together is quiet, our conversations brief. My parents ask about my life in Cantonese over plates of siu yuk and choy sum while I clumsily piece together incomplete sentences peppered with English in response. I have so much to say, but the Cantonese words are just out of reach, my tongue unable to retrieve them after being neglected in favor of English for so long. I feel emptier with each visit, like I’m losing not only my connection to my parents but also fragments of my Chinese heritage. Can I call myself Chinese if I barely speak the language?

My parents taught me my first words: naai, when I was hungry for milk, and gai, when I was hungry for chicken. I was born in New York City and spent most of my childhood, in Brooklyn, speaking Cantonese, since it was (and still is) the only language that my parents understand. In the nineteen-eighties, they immigrated to the U.S. from Guangdong, a province in southern China. The jobs they found in hot kitchens and cramped garment factories came with long hours, leaving them no time to learn English. As a result, my parents relied heavily on the Chinese community in New York to survive. I looked forward to running errands with my mother in Manhattan’s Chinatown, where I heard Cantonese spoken all around me in grocery stores, doctors’ offices, and hair salons. On special occasions, we would yum cha with my mother’s friends and eat my favorite dim-sum dishes like cheung fun and pai gwut while they praised my voracious appetite. At home, we watched “Journey to the West,” a popular Hong Kong television series that aired on TVB, and listened to catchy Cantopop songs by Jacky Cheung on repeat. Before I started school, my only friends were the children of other Cantonese-speaking immigrants, with whom I bonded over our shared love of White Rabbit candies and fruit-jelly cups. Cantonese surrounded every aspect of my life; it was all I knew.

When I first learned English in elementary school, I became bilingual quickly with help from English-as-a-second-language classes. I switched back and forth seamlessly between the two languages, running through multiplication tables with my mother in Cantonese and, in the same breath, telling my brother in English that I hated math. I attended my parent-teacher conferences as a translator for my mother despite the obvious conflict of interest; “Jenny is an excellent student over all but needs just a little more help with math,” my third-grade teacher said, which I’d relay to my mom with pride only after redacting the bit about math.

It wasn’t an issue that my math skills weren’t strong. My parents encouraged me to excel in English class because they believed it to be the key to success in America, even if they never learned the language. English would aid in my performance across all subjects in school because that was the language my teachers taught in. But, most important, my parents believed that a mastery of English would promise a good, stable job in the future. This missing piece in my parents’ lives would propel me forward for the rest of mine.

Before long, I learned that there was also significant social currency in adopting English as a primary language. Outside of E.S.L. class, I encountered the first of many “ching chongs” shouted my way. “Do you know that’s what you sound like?” a kid asked, laughing. I did not know, because “ching chong” had never come out of my mouth before. Still, it went on to be a common taunt I endured, along with “No speaky Engrish?,” even though I spoke English. I was humiliated based on how I looked and the fact that I could speak another language. It was an easy decision to suppress Cantonese in an effort to blend in, to feel more American. This didn’t actually work; instead, I felt a diminished sense of both identities.

[demerso3]

Regarding Language-learning

English is my native language. I don't say I'm "fluent" in English here because some of you in the comments section are probably joking about any grammatical mistakes in this post. Regardless, English is the language I'm best at, as difficult and sad as that may be to believe. I could not talk until I was five; perhaps this is a testament to how difficult the English language is to learn.

However, just because I was born into speaking the world's dominant language does not mean I haven't tried to learn others. Growing up I tried my hand at Spanish, and most recently, I've been learning Japanese. Now some of you in the comments are calling me a weeaboo, or otaku, or whatever.

Despite years of practice, I am fluent in neither, and am increasingly concerned that I will never be fluent as I grow older. From my understanding, it is much easier to learn a language when one is younger, given the neurology and malleability of the brain. Unfortunately, as time moves ever forward, the ability to learn a language wanes significantly.

Now, I will be the first to admit that there are things I could have done differently to improve my Spanish and Japanese studies, respectively (such as getting over nerves about public speaking, along with better study techniques). My perception is that I've picked up on Japanese more quickly than Spanish in part due to the fact that I could learn from mistakes I made when I was younger. However, I maintain that, given the knowledge I knew at the time, I was doing my best.

Similarly, if I could tell my younger self one thing, it would be to not care what other people think. Growing up in Texas, there were a lot of Spanish-speakers. Making a mistake in Spanish class was embarrassing (or at least, I perceived it as embarrassing) because my peers either already knew the language, or were picking up on it quickly. Laughs and chuckles would ensue, which was admittedly a blow to my self-confidence.

Speaking of which, it always seemed that I was slower to learn a language than my peers. Verb conjugations were always tricky for me. While it was "easy" (or for the more sophisticated, "intuitive") for my peers to tell the difference between "hablaron" and "hablaban," for me, it was anything but. Cumulatively, over time, I began to resent some of my bilingual friends, who I felt were gatekeeping the Spanish language by using a combination of peer pressure and destructive criticism to send a message that I was incapable of learning a second language. This has happened in my Japanese language-learning as well, though not to the same extent. Given that I am now older, the people who I hang out with are older as well. However, this “gatekeeping” still occurs, and it frustrates me when it does happen.

Perhaps most frustrating is when I see this happen to somebody other than myself. My good friend Caesar (I have changed his name here to protect his identity), fluent in both English and Spanish, was once stationed on the Sinai Peninsula as part of a UN Peacekeeping mission. Caesar quickly made friends with many of the Fijians who were stationed there as well. Caesar, being the intelligent and curious man that he is, was interested to learn more about the Fijian language. Members of the peacekeeping mission who were from Fiji were described as being “laid back,” and “jokesters,” but wanted to help Caesar learn more about the language - at least, ostensibly they did.

Caesar was told that to say “hello” in Fijian, you must say something along the lines of “bula bula tavale.” Now, from a quick Google search, it seems that “bula bula” is used as a common greeting across Fiji. People in the comments section can feel free to correct me or add on to this as needed. However, the “tavale” part is a little sketchy - the word gets into kinship and familial relations in a way that does not necessarily appear to be tied to the word “hello.”

Regardless, Caesar was assured he had learned the proper greeting for “hello” in Fijian. Caesar would eventually leave the military and, about a decade after his time on the Sinai Peninsula had concluded, went to a Polynesian Cultural Center in Hawai’i as part of a vacation with his wife. There they saw an exhibit on Fiji, being presented by, naturally, two Fijians. Caesar was excited to say “hello!” to these gentlemen in the Fijian language, and repeated the “greeting” he had learned years earlier.

The two men started laughing hysterically, and informed Caesar that he did not say “hello,” but in fact, asked permission to marry his sister. Caesar was embarrassed, and when he told me this anecdote, I was vicariously upset.

Here, Caesar had the opportunity to learn a piece of the Fijian language. It was a first-hand learning experience not afforded to many, and while the Fijians on Sinai were under no obligation to teach Caesar any part of the language, feeding him bad information is worse than declining to teach him at all. Instead of teaching him the proper way to say “hello,” the soldiers set Caesar up to fail, get embarrassed, and look like an idiot in the process.

Caesar’s story resonates with me, in that the tomfoolery showcased by the party that knows the language - and taking advantage of somebody who does not know the language - is but one reason why, generally speaking, I don’t look forward to studying languages like Spanish or Japanese.

And then, to top everything off, people have the audacity to get mad at people like me when we make a good faith effort to learn a new language, but simply “aren’t getting it.” Alternatively, critics of the monolingual say that learning a new language is “easy,” and question one’s work ethic in doing so.

To reiterate, I understand that, upon reflection, there are certain things I could have done to make it easier on myself to learn a second language. Furthermore, I plan to continue studying Japanese, and hopefully work up on my Spanish. I maintain that “society,” broadly defined, has made it unnecessarily difficult for me to learn a second language, and that there are other monolinguals - and even multilinguals - who feel the same way.

[theonlinemuse]

So @lesbianmaxevans and I have been discussing how there’s very little backstory for Dani Powell on the show and we decided to contribute to the tags by coming up with our own headcanons for her:

Dani is a nickname obviously, but instead of Danielle or Danika, it’s short for Danys, a unisex Haitian Creole name. She only gets called Danys if she’s in trouble  

Malcolm giggles whenever that happens and Dani threatens to put her cold hands on him if he tries calling her that 

Malcolm learned her middle name the same day he met her middle sister, New York County Court Judge Naomie Powell, who barged into the precinct after an incident where Dani got hurt and went, “Danys Eliana Powell, if you’re going to give our family a heart attack, at least pick up your phone!”

Her dad is Haitian (I still say that episode 5 should’ve delved into this with Dani and her backstory) and her mom is Jewish. Dani and her sisters were all raised Jewish 

Dani doesn’t regularly go the synagogue, but it’s tradition for the Powells to go to services during major holidays 

Dani and JT explaining Jewish holidays to everyone

Powell wasn’t her dad’s original last name. Her dad and grandma came to New York from Port au Prince in the late 70s and their original last name was Poirot. Grandma Eliana kept the name, but her dad changed it to Powell when he started university 

She’s the youngest of three girls in the family. Her oldest sister Mona is played by Meta Golding while middle sister Naomie is played by Sydney Tamiia Poitier

Naomie was the sister who suffered from night terrors after getting into a bad car accident as a teenager and Mona and Dani would often take turns looking after her. This is how Dani knew how to deal with Malcolm 

Dani is bisexual. She and Edrisa went on a date before deciding to be friends and Edrisa likes to joke about them being exes much to Malcolm’s confusion 

“When did you even break up?” “We didn’t, technically. We just went go karting and had lunch at Zabar’s before we realized Dani was wayyyy too much like an aloof little sister to me.”

And this is totally a crack headcanon, but after seeing Jurnee Smollett-Bell playing Black Canary in Birds of Prey, Dani and Dinah Lance are now cousins. Their moms, Zipporah and Dinah Senior were sisters

Dani and Dinah may be Jewish, but they don’t keep kosher all the time. They don’t eat pork, but they’re absolutely weak against shellfish, much to their moms’ dismay 

Chaotic bi Dinah and distinguished bi Dani

Imagine Dani going undercover in Dinah’s band and them singing the Birds of Prey song from Batman: The Brave and the Bold

Dani can rock the punk rock aesthetic. Dinah makes her wear fishnet stockings, red lipstick, a corset over a dark lace shirt, and gold metallic temp tattoos. Malcolm has a heart attack

And then Dani starts singing and he’s a goner because he’s only ever hear her sing old songs from the 30s to 50s and there’s something powerful and sensual about her singing punk rock music. He’s not ready for it

JT teases the hell out of him, but he soon shuts up when Dani and Dinah bring Tally into the mix. Edrisa records the whole thing, as well as Malcolm and JT’s expressions. Gil ends up using it to keep Malcolm and JT from doing anything too outrageous

Grandma Eliana would sing old jazz and méringue songs to Dani and her sisters when they were little so Dani ended up with the habit of singing them absently whenever she’s focused on a task, usually when she’s doing her hair

Dani grew up listening to songs from the 30s, 40s, and 50s due to grandma Eliana always playing her extensive vinyl collection. She didn’t really get to listen to modern music until she was in middle school 

In addition to jazz and swing, Dani’s surprisingly good at disco. It didn’t help that her dad often played Boney M and Earth Wind and Fire during her childhood

She used to joke that the Powell family is decades behind in their taste in music. Dani doesn’t listen to many modern songs, but she likes singing along to Yonce as well as Janelle Monae songs like Electric Lady and Sally Ride

Make Me Feel becomes Dani and Dinah’s bi anthem 

Malcolm once caught her singing and he keeps trying to catch her again. He’s lucky to listen for five seconds before she kicks him out of the bathroom

Dani’s a bit of a tea expert thanks to grandma Eliana, who taught her many different ways of making tea. Other than Earl Grey, Dani’s favourites include grandma Eliana’s ginger tea and pomegranate tea

And I’m not just saying that last one because I saw tags about a Brightwell Hades and Persephone AU

She loves tea flavoured desserts as well. She often gets a glazed Earl Grey donut for breakfast on Monday mornings when she needs a little pick me up

She changes up the glaze depending on her mood. Lavender for when she’s stressed, balsamic and pomegranate for when she’s in a good mood, blueberry for when she’s irritated or stuck on a case, brown butter for when she’s tired, and caramel with blood orange zest for when she’s ready punch a dick

In the summer, she loves Thai iced tea popsicles and matcha green tea popsicles dipped in chocolate

Dani isn’t as big of a coffee drinker as she is a tea drinker, but if she has to have coffee, it’s always a cinnamon mocha with a shot of espresso 

She can cook, but because of her schedule, she mostly sticks with quick to make dishes like grilled cheese and spaghetti. She likes spicing things up though, thanks to growing up with her dad and grandma’s cooking 

Every Hanukkah, Dani always gets roped into preparing the desserts with Zipporah since her dad, grandma, and oldest sister are in charge of cooking. Dani’s the first to admit that she’s not a cook, but she’s gotten good at making sweets, even if she doesn’t always have the patience for it. Eight nights a year is her limit

Malcolm as a foodie bemoans this and his trying to broaden her food choices slowly becomes a thing 

The look of horror on his face when he sees her chow down on a double beef bacon mushroom burger, poutine, chocolate pecan pie and a strawberry milkshake in one sitting is priceless

And Dani loves seafood, especially shellfish which Malcolm can’t have because it gives him hives 

Dani was a bit of a trouble maker in elementary school, but for good reason. She stuck gum in a classmate’s hair because she stole her favourite scratch and sniff stickers and lied about it. And she once kicked a football player where the sun don’t shine because he was being a dick to her

She dressed like Kimberly Hart from the Power Rangers movie in high school, though she did have a goth phase for about two weeks in freshman year. She was trying to channel Wednesday Addams. She was definitely a bit of a rebel style wise. Malcolm was most definitely a nerd

Ironically, Dani’s the one with poor eyesight. She only wears glasses if there’s no more contacts and they’re a chunky pair that’s similar to Edrisa’s glasses

Dani does have some secret nerdy traits, she knows how to code thanks to her sister Naomie going to coding camp for five consecutive summers 

And like Kay, Dani has some artistic tendencies too. She grew up with outdoor art programs that encouraged her to paint 

She’s fluent in French. She, her sisters, and their paternal cousins went to a bilingual language school thanks to grandma Eliana’s influence

Dani also did competitive figure skating as a kid. She actually made it to the Junior Grand Prix finals. She got silver

There’s recordings of her competition routines on YouTube somewhere and she actually goes undercover as a figure skater for a case. Gil acts as her coach because he actually used to skate as well

She also did some cross training in ballet as well since her godmother is a well known ballerina turned dance teacher. There are a lot of pics of Dani in her early teens of her in a leotard and tights with curls escaping her ballet bun

She has an old injury that often acts up when the weather is cold. She broke her leg pretty badly in high school due to an accident in gym class. She got knocked off the balance beam when they were doing gymnastics and had to be rushed to the hospital for surgery 

She prefers horror and thrillers to action movies, but she likes period pieces too. Belle is a recent favourite of hers

Dani likes Star Trek because her dad is the biggest sci-fi nerd and it was a big part of her childhood. She also grew up as a fan of Eartha Kitt because of him after he made her watch 1960s Batman reruns with him

As a result, she wanted to name her first kid after Eartha. She eventually nicknames her first daughter Kit because of this

Dani actually introduced Tally to JT. They were roommates in college (Dani majored in social work while Tally studied chemistry) and they went to the same synagogue 

Tally designated Dani as godmother after she and JT had twin girls. She was the sandeket at Noa and Miri’s simchat bat  

She practices Krav Maga, she and Dinah both learned it in high school, though Dani always says that Dinah had more of a natural talent for it 

Dinah also did kickboxing and gymnastics and Dani ended up tagging along her lessons. She doubled as a coach and sparring partner 

She and her sisters dressed up as magical girls for Halloween when they were little and the new Charm reboot is like reliving their childhood

She wraps her hair for sleep with funny and colourful scarves that Naomie always gives as gag gifts, a tradition that started when they were preteens 

She’s dyslexic, but she wasn’t diagnosed until middle school. She had difficulty memorizing things so she got into a habit of carrying a recorder with her. She also has her phone and computer set to dyslexia friendly fonts and listens to a lot of audio books

It’s also the reason she sometimes makes mistakes when she’s dancing. She sometimes mixes up left and right

She also had trouble learning French at first because of this 

Dani can hold her liquor, but after four drinks, she becomes a giggly drunk who randomly speaks French and sings 90s rock songs

She also suddenly gains a sweet tooth when sober Dani doesn’t usually go for sweets. Luckily Malcolm has a few lollipops stashed away for when this happens

Dani did a brief modelling stint back in college to help out her cousin, who was in fashion school at the time. She mostly modelled for women’s wear and book covers. She even posed for a couple of historical romance covers 

Malcolm may have accidentally come across it thanks to his mom. Jessica might have been a little smug when she told him to fetch the book from where she left it. The look on his face was priceless

Dani ends up recreating a cover for a case. Edrisa makes Malcolm pose with her. She takes so many pictures

Given that Malcolm has Sunshine, it’s ironic that Dani owns a cat. It’s a mischievous black cat named Shuri and she loves climbing things, especially Malcolm

[glorifiedsnickersbar]

Farthest North

BY: DatFandomGirl1 -| A CountryHumans AU |-  \\A few things before we start: 1: The tallest countries are USSR and Third Reich, this is due to the fear of them that grew while they were in power (Or their egos if you want a good laugh) - also for the story’s sake. 2: Provinces, States or Territories are children unless forced to grow up or decide to become a country.  3: The CountryHumans live in their own dimension, but can go between their world and the human world via a ring, which is decorated buy their respective flag. Only the owner of the ring can use it. It can take them anywhere as long as they can think of an adjective that can directly connect to that person/place/thing. 4: Humans can go to the CountryHuman world but only stay for a few minutes before fading back into their own world. 5: There are some historical inaccuracies which will be marked with this symbol (!), the correct information will be given below the chapter. 5: Translations of foreign words (Not English) will be at the bottom of each chapter, please forgive me if some are not accurate, I am only beginning to learn German and am mostly using Google translate for lack of bilingual and/or foreign friends. 6: I describe USSR as a corrupted Russian Empire, considering both were brutal and absolutely horrid. Please enjoy the story! It is by no means meant to make fun of, offend or call out any one race, nationality or government, and does not represent the opinions of any one people.

I will be updating once a week.

--- Chapter 1 -- You Have Mail

Word count: 1063

    America, Russia, Japan, China, Poland, Australia - so many countries, a big world it is, out there. Dangerous, sometimes cruel, unruly and painful. America knew it when he separated from his father's hierarchy, but it was better than being treated like an uncared for adopted child. He knew the story of Les Misérables. He declared that he would never treat his children as such, those being the States. He cared for each and every one of them, though what he called "business" often took him away. He wasn't a total flop of a father, he'd visit every single one of his precious kids... at least, that's what he thought.

         "Has anyone seen America?" Canada questioned those who were already eating at the table, their current meeting place being chosen by Russia: a bar.

         "Someone came by with a letter," announced Japan, her smile showing how oblivious she was at the fact America took the time to answer something like that. Get togethers like this usually made him ignore matters that needed his attention, "Said something about an estate."

Canada nodded, and sat in the empty seat, knowing the star clad patriot would simply steal Russia's.

     The happy country came back, dumping Russia from his chair, as Canada predicted, and sat down, the letter no where to be seen.

         "How's it popping 'Cans?" He asked with a wide smile, glasses hiding his eyes.

         "Not to bad," he answered, "Japan said something about a letter?"

         "Oh, yeah," he blew a raspberry, "Some prank, nothing serious."

Oh how wrong he was.

     The group, consisting of America, Japan, Canada, Russia and Germany, broke their "meeting" after Russia decided to go for a third bottle of hard liquor, dragging him to Germany's car, who decided he would drive him home. Japan announced that she had some business with another trade partner, so she left the group after another ten minutes of babble. Then the five became two, brothers 'till the end, walking down the sidewalk since they had nothing else to do.

         "How are the States?" Canada asked, genuinely curious. America had been spending a bit more time with them lately.

         "They're great," he chuckled, "Delaware just celebrated her 232nd birthday! She's so cute. I was able to get Japan to make dolls that resembled the two men on her flag!"

The country was so proud of his first state, glad that she would never grow up, unless she decided to become a country, that is... but that wouldn't happen, he takes care of all of his children, daughters and sons, so they all remained with the size and somewhat the mindset of children.

         "How's Arizona? I hear she's had quite the wake up call with the sudden cold snap." Canada inquired, making America laugh.

         "Oh dear, it's 90 instead of 190, whatever will she do?" He laughed, the poor girl claimed she was freezing to death in these winter months.

     The two walked in a comfortable silence for awhile. The air was clear, a perfect Pennsylvania afternoon. The little tike was probably somewhere playing in the dirt, or helping some of the Amish folk with their work. He loved to help, always eager to get down in the dirt or play with the farm animals. Pennsylvania was an animal lover for sure, not as crazy a lover as Australia, nowhere close, considering these were mostly domesticated animals, but his love for nature showed most definitely. The birds chirped, sending a witty air toward the two countries, who laughed when an orange tabby ran by, trying to catch whatever species of bird its eyes were on. The colder dirt road before them ran for miles, unpaved until it reached the city, several miles away. Amish country was so natural, practically untouched. No electricity, cars, WiFi. Nothing of the sort. So relaxing.

         "So... what was the letter about exactly?" Canada dared interrupt the soft sound of breezing silence.

         "It was a declaration of independence," he shrugged, "It was from one of my states, I don't think it said which, but I haven't felt anything nagging at me, and my 50 hasn't turned to 49. It's a joke, all my kids love me!"

So sure. Yes, all his children loved him, but he didn't love them equally.

         "I think we need to get going..." Canada looked at his phone, finding it to be later than he intended to stay out, "We have a world meeting, remember?"

America groaned. He hated those. Always so boring, they never needed him around anyway.

         "Want me to drop you off at your house?" He sighed, bringing out a ring with his flag engraved into it.

         "No, thank you," Canada smiled, bringing out a ring with his own flag engraved, "I remembered my key this time."

The two smiled at each other, and America gave a playful salute before throwing the ring on the ground, Canada mimicking the action, and they left through the worm hole, each stepping into their living room.

     Yawning, America decided that now would be the time to clean up the party mess. Hats laid strewn around, party poppers littered the floor, and a half eaten birthday cake slice was still on the coffee table. He chuckled, remembering how his little Delaware was so surprised when the lights came on. He was glad that the CountryHumans were able to have their own private world, or else the humans would have complained about noise. His neighbors complained anyway, of course. 

     If you looked outside you'd see  a world like any other, a small city, population: 195 (not including states or territories). America's mansion held all of his children, though they were currently in the human world having the time of their lives. He remembered his father's palace, Britain, a powerful country, in his time anyway. Now all that's ever really talked about is the royal family, nothing that determined the life or death of another country.

     Finishing what cleaning he wanted to do, the man looked at his watch. Time to go. America took hold of his ring again, and with one simple thought, threw it on the ground, stepping into the grand meeting room. When the worm hole closed, he picked up his ring, stashing it into his pocket. He dawned a lazy smile below his signature sunglasses, until he saw who stood in the middle of the circular seating area.

         "Alaska?"

[untitled-writer-013]

hi! could you make me a golden trio era harry potter ship? i'm a she, straight, filipina, 5'3, has black hair and eyes, tan skin. i'm a ravenclaw, bilingual, i hate studying but i really do not wanna get bad grades. i spend a lot of time reading books and watching 80s n 90s films and baking. i'm pretty shy and kind of anxious all the time. i have little but close friends, and i shut myself from everyone else even when i really wanna get to know them (pretty shy ehe). thanks so much!!! 💓💓💓

I ship you with..

Neville Longbottom!

Neville may be in Gryffindor, but he is not as brave or confident as the rest of his peers. He honestly doesn’t know how in the world he ended up in Gryffindor, other than his family bloodline.

Neville would most likely run into you, literally, while in the library so he can continue studying herbology. After noticing you on the floor, he would hurry to help you up, and give you as many apologies as he can.

Neville would keep running into you at the library, and would eventually ask to sit with you at one of the tables. You two would start discussing what you were studying, and when he found out you were struggling, he would immediately offer to help you.

From then on, he would continue meeting with you in the library, occasionally telling you about the plant he was studying, and those were the few times where you would witness him with some confidence, and he would talk about what he was studying with a sort of passion and wonder. Until he realized that he was rambling, and would immediately apologize and ask about how you were doing.

As you two grew closer together throughout the school year, he learned about your interests in 80s and 90s movies and began to watch some with you, and he found himself becoming interested in them as well.

Eventually, sometime in his fifth year, he asked you if you would like to date him. He was extremely taken aback when you didn’t reject him and told him your feelings, anxiously, but it just made Neville’s usual nervous smile grow into a more confident one, hugging you gently as he thanked you for not rejecting him.

You two would spend your free time baking or reading books together, and Neville made sure to always make time for you. You two would be seen holding hands while walking through the hallways, studying together in the library (with Neville making sure you didn’t pass out from boredom), and managing to sit near each other in The Great Hall.

Now, Neville may have his own anxiety, but if you were ever teased by anyone, he would be quick to correct them. Someone called you strange? He made sure to tell them you were unique, and he loved you for that. Someone said you looked bad? He would ask if they needed glasses, because there was clearly a very beautiful girl in front of them. Someone called you weak? He told them how much you worked for your grades, and how long you stayed up compared to the bullies themselves. He didn’t care who they were or what they said, he would correct their behavior, and wouldn’t let you get treated like that while he was there.

Whenever you let those words get to you, he would bake you your favorite baked good, or would slide a book or favorite 80s film under the door for you to enjoy. He never intruded into your room or bothered you unless he was extremely worried about you, because he knew you needed your space. And every time you would come out feeling better, he would give you a gentle hug, a quick peck on the lips, and offer you something to eat or something to do.

When you two would watch a film together, he would always cuddle with you, just because it made him feel so secure. It made him forget about the homework and detentions that he had from Professor Snape. And when Umbridge was around, it comforted him when he had gotten a harsh detention with her, and he made sure to comfort you if you ever got punished, applying a herb to the scars and placing a soft kiss on the harshly written words, telling you it would be alright.

All in all, you two have a very healthy, commutative relationship. You respected each other's interests, skills, and would help the other out if they needed it. Neville would always compliment you on your lovely tan skin, saying how pale he looked compared to you. He loved how he could practice braiding your hair whenever you let him, and he managed to get your hair into a lovely fishtail braid once. Neville would always manage to get lost in your eyes, and would blush and apologize abruptly whenever you commented on it. And when he found out you were bilingual? Let’s just say, he was very impressed with you, and would sometimes ask you to teach him one day.

~fin~

author’s note: i really liked doing this again! it’s a ton of fun doing these, and really helps shoo away my writer’s block. hope you enjoyed it, feel free to send me another request anytime!

[kyndaris]

Banana Life

Growing up as a Chinese-Australian has had its ups and downs over the years. There has always been a bit of a cultural divide with how my parents have viewed things and how I’ve perceived such matters. In fact, I remember many a fight when I was younger and hated the thought of going to Chinese School every Saturday. Now that I’m older, though, I appreciate the fact that I’m bilingual (I still can’t read Chinese as well as my mother would have hoped, but at least I can tell where the train station is). 

But I often count myself among the more fortunate ones when it comes to being the target of racist attacks. There has never been one singular event when someone has told me to ‘go back to where I came from.’ Nor has anyone physically assaulted me based on my appearance.

In saying that, I have often bristled when people ask me again where I’m from. As if my answer: Australia is not enough. If you wish to know my ethnicity, then be more direct. Unless, of course, you wish to see my birth certificate? I know that some people are curious and want to find a way to bond about their experience in an Asian country, but there are better ways to phrase a question rather than going with a blunt: so, where are you from?

I’ve also never liked when people come up to me and say ‘Ni Hao.’ Yes, I know I’m Chinese-Australian and understand the words, but for all you (a relative stranger) know, I might not know a lick of Chinese at all. What if I was sixth generation and never grew up learning the language? What if I was actually Vietnamese, Japanese or Korean? Malaysian or Singaporean? How about Thai, Indonesian or Filipino? 

Actually, when I was in the small country town of Leeton, I did have a gaggle of girls approach me and say ‘Konnichiwa.’ Perhaps they saw a great number of tourists in that area and assumed I was one of them. I never actually got to the bottom of why they addressed me in Japanese, but I was greatly puzzled. A simple ‘G’day’ would have sufficed. It isn’t as if I approach all Caucasians and start going ‘buongiorno’ or ‘top of the morning.’

Then there have been the subtle times when I was at university and handed Free English lessons pamphlets. Why me? There were plenty of international students from Europe that might have been struggling with English. But because I looked different, many people assumed that I was an international student. One time, I asked one of these good Samaritans if it sounded like I needed Free English lessons. And do I speaker da good English. They quickly learned their error. Although, they then followed me up half the street trying to convert me to Christianity.

Over the years, though, and in more recent months, I’ve read plenty of articles and stories where people have discriminated against people that look like me. People, who, like me, have grown up in the West and often struggle with belonging as we straddle two worlds. Our values are not the same as our parents and yet, we don’t look white enough to be considered ‘true blue Aussies.’ As my mother loved to say - and which was repeated in Crazy Rich Asians - we’re bananas. 

One of my friends said that in the UK, East Asians are one of the smallest minorities there. Here in Australia, we’re one of the largest. Just like in the United States of America, we’re a model for all other ethnic minorities. Most of us studied hard in school, to the detriment of our mental health. We’re good at mathematics. We’ve also prove to be invaluable employees in the work place. And our parents have often hoped that we land an excellent job that pays well: accountant, lawyer, doctor or engineer. 

Most of us have also learned to play a music instrument. Some of us love anime with a passion. Others have dived down deep into the world of Korean Dramas. And a lot fell in love with a film that finally put us on the big Hollywood screen. Representation matters. Even as we’ve remained mostly silent in our achievements after decades of being regarded as the ‘yellow peril’ or ‘Asian invasion.’

COVID-19 has proved thoroughly that despite the great strides Western society has made in being more inclusive, many people are still mired by their prejudice. People have graffiti-ed and vandalised houses in the suburbs of Melbourne. They’ve made disparaging comments under their breath whilst in earshot of Asian Australian in shopping markets. Elsewhere, we have been attacked and told that we’re a disease.

Now, let me be clear. None of this has happened to me personally. And yet, reading these stories, I often fear what might happen should I ever find myself in such a situation. When I was younger, I often thought I’d retort with the fact that if they told me to ‘go back to where I came from,’ I’d simply do the same. Australia has always been a migrant country. All of us came via boat or plane if they’ve traced their ancestry as far as it can go. Maybe that was the First Fleet or as convicts. But just because you’ve settled and claimed the land that we’re on for longer than me and my family, that doesn’t give you the right to say that I’m not who I say I am: an Australian.

As I’ve grown older, though, I’ve realised that trying to reason with these people doesn’t always work. And trying too hard might mean risking getting burnt. In Life is Strange 2, trying to stick to my values only had Sean Diaz bullied into finally singing a song in Spanish for fear that he would be assaulted.

Even little comments can hurt, even when they’re said in jest.

I remember at around the start of the current COVID-19 crisis, a colleague once asked me if I ate bats. At the time, it was believed that the virus had been transmitted in a wet market in Wuhan by eating bats. I said ‘no.’ And then proceeded to list a number of things I have never eaten: snakes, shark fin, dog...the list went on. Of course, I knew it was all in good fun and teased her back by asking if she ate frog legs or escargot. It gradually evolved into a conversation about the different types of food that was enjoyed around the world. But that first assumption also stung and made me question how the people around me viewed this little Chinese-Australian trying to make her way in the world. 

Yet even when it’s not others trying to put us down, some of our fellows are coming up with conspiracy theories. In my badminton group, one of the players said that COVID-19 stood for something more sinister than just corona virus disease. They said that it was an acronym which stood for China Output Virus in December 2019.

Social distancing restrictions are now easing around the world. I know many are looking forward to going out and meeting up with friends without having the fear of disease and death hovering over their shoulder. There is always the concern that lifting quarantine will lead to more outbreaks. But, what I’m scared of most of all, is when someone sees me and decides that it’s my fault COVID-19 was brought in Australia, though it’s been years since I’ve been to China. And then begins to attack me: either verbally or physically just because of what I look like.

[serendipitioussurvival]

The Problem with Reality, Pt 2

<Prev> The Monologue of one Maczysz Stilinski/Hale

“They say that, when you die, your life flashes before your eyes. Honestly though? That’s such a load of bullshit. Do you have any idea how many times I’ve almost died? Do you know how many of those incidents I’ve seen a play by play of my life? None, not even when I actually fucking died! I’ve been cheated out of a lot of shit in my life, a lot of good shit too, so I’m going to do the play by play! Ahem.

I was born Maczysz Angelika Stilinski to humans Claudia Stilinski and Jeorek ‘John’ Stilinski. I was an angelic kid no matter what anyone says. The first few years of my life were great, eating, sleeping, pooping and having someone else clean it up. That was nice, I guess, but then I got to be introduced to the wonderful world of education. Let me tell you - hell doesn’t even need to exist when you have fucking ADHD and a hyperactive imagination, okay? Not only that, but you put it in the body of a girl whose father was a Deputy and whose mother was a nurse. I was literally exposed to so much information - as much as I could get my hands on!

Believe me, by the time I was six I knew how to hide keys until my dad made copies or had to use the backup. I had a key for his filing cabinets, for the car, and for the front and back doors. I was never going to use them for evil though, maybe to do things I wasn’t supposed to, but never for evil. Anyway, getting off-topic. So, by six I was bilingual for Portuguese and English, a hell of a combination for a kid with ADHD who could barely form coherent sentences, let alone sentences with words that weren’t English. 

BUT - it was because of that multilingual gibberish that I landed my best friend, Scott McCall, who also knew Portuguese from his mother and bam! A friendship that lasts throughout multiple realities thank you very much. Then… then I lost my mom. I won’t go into that, I don’t want to, you already know the full situation in detail and it’s still painful. I - it’s my one regret, that little Mischief will have to go through that again, all because I couldn’t save her…

Uh, where - where was I? Oh, anyway, mom died. Dad started drinking. I hated it, had to learn to cook and do laundry. He never hit me or cursed me or anything, but he would - I dunno just give me these looks. Like he was looking for any trace of my mom in me, or he would look at anything but me. So, in true Max fashion, I shaved all my hair off. Scott thought it was punk as hell and told me we were totally brothers now. Hehe, it never bothered me that he saw me as a guy, made me really happy honestly since all my dad could see was my mom in me. So I started spending the night over at his more, studied with him, ate with him and Mel while she taught me how to cook certain dishes - she even let me help, the few times she was free to actually do that. 

Then dickhead Rafe - and no I don’t care that it isn’t his real name, he doesn’t deserve to be called anything but Rafe because he hates it so goddamn much - went and left because he chose to drink instead of fixing things with his family after Scottie got hurt. Suddenly we really were siblings, either staying the night over at his while my dad worked over night, or over at mine when Mel worked overnight. We slept in the same bed until we were thirteen - which other people still find weird. Let me tell you, we didn’t stop until he got his first morning wood at fifteen, and we celebrated it because, for the longest time, my poor Scottie thought his dick was broken.

Can I - can I even cuss here? Like, I’m not going to get smited, smote - whatever. I’m already here, fuck it.

Continuing on! At sixteen Scottie and I went all red riding hood into the woods and met the one, the only, Peter Hale. He was half-crazed and the other half of him was running on wolfy instincts, but it was Peter, and the prick decided that he liked my jacket on Scottie and bit him, turning him into a werewolf. 

Fast forward a couple more months of Scott trying to kill me, his first full moon where he made out with my crush and cemented the fact that I was definitely not lesbian, and then we get to the juicy bits where Peter killed Kate Argent - I hope that bitch is being burned to death, repeatedly, in hell. In fact - could I, like if I don’t get into Heaven or whatever comes after this, can I go to hell just to burn her? Like, that’d be my heaven. No..? Okay. 

Ahem, anyway, uh, Scott hit Peter with a Molotov, killing him, but Peter is crafty so he came back to life a little more sane but no less sassy, and decided to grace my doorstep every few nights with a letter on my window. They weren’t love notes, in fact, I’m pretty sure the first one was him telling me that he wished he had bitten me even though I said no just so his legacy wouldn’t ride on Scott’s shoulders. Looking back it’s funny, but back then I was furious. How dare this sociopathic nut job think my best friend lacks anything. 

Peter though, was different. Maybe death really does change you? I dunno, either way, he became more involved in the pack - or, well, he got more involved whenever I was involved. He gave me the research material he’d put together as his family’s bestiary and helped to figure out how to ‘cure’ Jackson’s reptile problem. 

Then he helped to deal with the Alpha pack and saved me from being tossed off the roof of the hospital by Ennis. Ah, there was also Scott betraying us, me, for the first time. That was fun, I think - honestly I think that was the first time that I actually touched Peter? Like he was always touching me and brushing against my arm, but I think that had been the first time I had touched him. 

It wasn’t anything special, but he stopped my panic attack somehow, and that was great. He was also really firm - ah, nevermind. That’s - that, I was seventeen for crying out loud. Okay? His body was hella nice and his smirk pissed me off and aroused me even when I wanted to kill him again. That night though, it was kind of the turning point. I no longer thought of immediately killing him whenever he annoyed me. 

Then the Alpha pack was dealt with, Scott was a ‘True Alpha’, and Deucalion was sent off - which I still don’t agree with, but whatever, I fixed that shit. Deuce gets to see his baby girl grow up now and Gerard is totally burning in hell next to Kate. Hehe, can - like I feel like I’m definitely gonna be sent to hell, so can you like, assign me to them? It’s gotta be their personal hell to see me again. No..? Gosh, I can’t tell what you’re thinking or feeling with that damned mask, whatever. Continuing on with my flashbacks. Ahem!

What was next? Oh yes, the Nogitsune.”

[fysebastian]

❛ chicago’s very own sebastian ramone has been spotted in new york city in an aston martin db5, welcome ! your resemblance to timothée chalamet is unreal. according to tmz, you just had your twenty fourth birthday bash. your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re diffident , but being altruistic might help you. i guess being a pisces explains that. three things that would paint a better picture of you would be an overflowing ashtray, sleepless nights, and a thrifted jean jacket. & ( cis male & he/him )

hi everyone, my name is bee (it’s not rly but that’s the first letter of my name so close enough) & i’m excited to be here! this is sebastian & he’s kind of a hot mess and i can’t wait for you all to meet him. i’m going to try to sum him for you below, there’s quite a few triggering topics involved and those are abuse & suicide so please be advised! that being said -- send me an im if you’d like to plot or you can add me on discord @ mercury#7589. thanks for reading!!

basics

full name: sébastien émile ramon nicknames: seb, bash birth date: february 28, 1995 occupation: actor sexuality: homosexual birth place: chicago, illinois nationality: french american height: 5′9″ weight: 151 lbs afflictions: depression, ptsd smokes/drinks/drugs: yes/yes/yes

full story

sebastian was born to a newly wed couple as their first and only son, completing their happy little family as a healthy and lively baby who always seemed to have a smile on his face. his sister followed a couple of years later, and the two were always close growing up.

his childhood was modest, but they lived comfortably. his father was a french immigrant and the breadwinner of the family whereas his mother was of american descent and a stay at home mom. he was raised catholic and attended church every sunday and said his prayers before their evening meal.

from a young age he remembers being glued to the television, to the point where his family would have to turn it off just to make him go outside. he’d memorize the lines from all his favourite movies and recite them to whomever would listen. it became very clear that he had an attraction to theatrics, and had no intention of ever taking over his father’s mechanic shop.

his dad never really humoured the thought of acting but his mom was a little more supportive of the idea and took him to his first audition when he was six years old. from then on he just kept auditioning and he had a handful of various roles from the ages of six to thirteen under his anglicised name (which is what he goes by). it was decided that his mom would home school him until the age of fourteen when sebastian decided he wanted to attend the local public high school.

sebastian was a good kid, but like most children he did rebel. he was twelve when he discovered alcohol and thirteen when he discovered boys, and both became a secret he’d try to keep from his family. the transition to public school only gave him more opportunities to get in trouble, and most weekends he’d sneak out to some party or to hang out with his friends. on week days after class he helped out at his father’s shop.

so long as he kept up with his studies and continued to attend church every sunday, his parents were fairly willing to turn a blind eye to his misdemeanors. his relationship became more and more strained the older he got, however. it became more obvious that he was resisting their upbringing and he seemed to stray further from god’s teachings every day. his family was not as happy as it appeared to be, and his father was often drunk and verbally abusive to his mother. as he became older he’d throw snide comments his way as well. he almost never attended his school plays even when he’d get the lead role in every one

sebastian dropped out of high school early when he landed the lead role in high school musical at seventeen. by eighteen he’d filmed a sequel and a third was in the works when things came to a very sudden and devastating halt upon several explicit videos and photos being released days after breaking up with a guy he’d been seeing on and off for a few months behind closed doors.

this not only brought the very public pr relationship he’d been in with his on screen love interest from the high school musical movies to an end, it also terminated his contact with disney, who claimed he was no longer a good face to represent their company. he was outed and his parents wouldn’t talk to him. he felt like he’d lost everything, so it was a really dark time for him. it was too easy for him to fall into a downward spiral when he lost most of his friends that didn’t want the bad publicity and befriended all the wrong people, who introduced him to all the wrong things.

he went on a binge, he was out every night and woke up in places he didn’t recognize with people he didn’t know. he slept with whoever would pay him attention and swallowed whatever pill was put into his mouth. it was on one of these benders that he met his ex-boyfriend. this boyfriend resembled his father in so many ways but most of all the way he’d speak to him, like he was never good enough. then he put his hands on him for the first time, and it just got worse from there.

he was a shell of who he used to be, he fell off the grid and was easily manipulated by this guy who made him think he couldn’t do any better because he wasn’t worth anything. he was isolated from everyone he knew because he was so possessive and had a terrible temper so he didn’t want anyone else to get involved. he tried to get out a few times but it never went well, and so he let it go on for two years

the first time sebastian hit headlines again was when he attempted suicide and was rushed to hospital. from there he was sent to a rehabilitation facility to receive therapy and detox. by the time he surfaced again his boyfriend had proceeded to disappear from his life, taking all of seb’s things with him and leaving him with a barren apartment to come home to. 

it was from here that he started over in new york city, getting back into acting and reconnecting with his little sister who’d recently been kicked out of home after getting pregnant out of wedlock & needed a place to stay. there are times where the flashbacks and the nightmares and the negative thoughts feel like they’re suffocating him, but he’s doing a thousand times better than he was. he’s working on more healthy relationships and surrounding himself with positive people, but it’s hard because that’s not what he’s used to. 

his parents have since divorced and he talks to his mom occasionally but hasn’t heard from his dad in years. he’s been making a new name for himself as of late in roles that involve drugs, mental health and most recently homosexuality (cmbyn okay)-- basically everything he was too afraid to even try before. he still parties but not nearly as much and usually not as hard. he tries to lay low on the radar, but there are times when he still gets up to no good

personality/facts

sebastian is the kind of person who needs to be with people at all times. if he’s alone that’s when he really starts getting in his head. he’ll probably show up at your place unannounced if he feels comfortable with you and if he does it probably means that he needs to get away from himself for a bit. 

he’s a very touchy person so he’s always cuddling up to his friends and likes to hug and express his affection in a very physical way. 

he’s generally pretty nice to everyone and gets along with most people. it’s not hard for him to make friends but he’s somehow always questioning if people really like him or if they just put up with him. he’s very insecure about this deep down. 

he wears his heart on his sleeve and is a very emotional person. he cries when he’s happy and he cries when he’s sad. he’s sensitive and just wants to be loved :( 

very trusting of people and will likely forgive you again and again even if you don’t deserve to be forgiven

doesn’t seem to know he’s famous and is extremely humble.

he loves to dance even though he’s not the best at it and he loves to sing as well. he also plays the piano!

he lives in oversized hoodies and jeans and sometimes baseball caps. he’s also a big fan of knitted sweaters with quirky designs on them. definitely rocks the same pair of adidas sneakers until they’re no longer wearable. also band tees

he has a thing for old cars and vintage clothes. definitely has a giant record collection and is a big fan of rock music

has a few tattoos but they’re all hidden

he’s bilingual and has been in a couple of french movies, which never really made it big in america

he’s a chain smoker; he smokes when he’s stressed, when he’s drunk, when he’s bored, etc. so he’s kind of always smoking

rarely logs into social media because he doesn’t do well with negative attention

[hyojinrk-archived]

MGA 5 EPISODE ONE: tooice’s tt ( 8:08 - 9:11 ) & billie eilish’s idontwannabeyouanymore ( 3:31 - 4:17 ) reimagined acoustic cover

SHOWCASED: singing, guitar, creativity, bilinguality concept versatility??

TW: minor anxiety

there’s a sinking feeling in his chest when he sees the email, with its sleek, coldly official design and matter-of-fact wording. clicking around, reading every email except for the one from mnet, hyojin chews his bottom lip as he tries to immerse himself in anything but the reminder that he had, even for a moment, decided to stray from the path he had decided to follow for the past few years.

‘CONGRATULATIONS, KIM HYOJIN.’

for some reason, he doesn’t feel like he’s being congratulated at all.

he skims through the acceptance email from motte capital, the familiar name of the manager not bringing him much comfort. at this point, he was already guaranteed a spot as an employee, having worked there since his freshman year in university. he’s sure it’s a position that would be envied by anyone else in his department -- getting a job at a large finance firm over one break, nevertheless every one? if he didn’t know better, he would have thought it preferential treatment, too.

( of course, that wasn’t true. the only connection he had was was back in anyang, wondering how her dear son was doing in the big city. )

with a sigh, he opens the email, wondering if there was some kind of mixup, or confusion, or just general cruelty. maybe they were congratulating him for trying out, only to reject him and tell him that he wasn’t good enough. maybe things were better off that way, anyways.

it’s not very normal of him to be this melancholy -- it’s just that his fight with doyoung and resurfacing memories of seungyeon have been weighing him down and keeping him awake lately. there isn’t much comfort he can find unless it’s in singing or when he’s in the studio with seunghun, or even just hanging around with sakura. it’s difficult, indeed.

he remains there foolishly, like a statue, at the slow sinking realization that it wasn’t a joke -- the email gives him an address and information that would make no sense otherwise unless he had somehow passed whatever preliminary screening they had put him through two weeks ago. hyojin’s first reaction, naturally, is to put his phone on the table, face down, and to ignore the message despite the objection his heart raises.

one day and many hours of mindlessly singing songs on the piano that he can vaguely remember the chords for, hyojin finds himself straying back to the lyrics for seattle by sam kim, the unfamiliar, twisting feeling in his gut that had been haunting him ever since he had seen the email growing stronger with every note. he stops and sits there for a while, looking at his fingers on the plastic white keys, the way the keyboard slowly moves with his arms on the thin beams that held it up. in retrospect, it was already used and cheap when he had gotten ahold of it, but at that time, he had carefully collected all of the wages he had gotten from the bakery in a little piggybank on his desk to buy some kind of replacement for the old, rundown piano that he had left back at home, only bringing his guitar along with his small suitcase.

he was more comfortable now than he used to be, of course, but the thought still lingers whenever he plays, the reminder that he had been so determined to get what he wanted just to sing, to make music in the way he could best striking a chord in him.

maybe this was a sign.

❀

“no, this isn’t it.” 

covering his mouth with his hand to try and muffle both a sigh of frustration and a yawn, his eyes remain glued on the bright screen of his laptop as he exits out of the fiftieth music video he’s seen that night. call it a bad habit, but when he stays up late for things like this, he tends to keep all the other lights off -- partially not to disturb jooyoung, but also to save electricity. there wasn’t much for him to lose, anyways -- he already wore glasses with an admittedly rather high prescription.

hearing the inklings of sleep creeping into his voice, now gruff from staying completely silent for at least an hour or so, he ruffles his hair to try and keep himself awake. he doesn’t have much time to waste before the internship starts in a week or two and with the auditions approaching faster than ever. he’ll fix whatever mess he makes of his sleep schedule later, when the performance is over. for now, he’ll have to find something that fits perfectly.

he wants to show another side of him while keeping the same theme. a chaos song? 12:30? a classic, but not currently trendy. what about a momoland song? or...

pausing in his trail of thought, hyojin’s mind zeroes in on an idea. a girl group song? that’s a good mix of trendy and catchy. finally picking up his guitar after spending so long with his fingers itching to play something, anything, but his head not allowing himself to get sidetracked while doing something so important. 

closing his eyes and strumming a few chords while muffling the strings, hyojin quietly starts to sing a song from the top of his head. “what to do, keep me still / make me like ooh ahh ooh ahh -- oh? that’s not bad, what about this,” changing the fingering patterns, he starts a new song, “who that who that who that boy,” then changing again, “i can’t stop this trembling / on and on and on / i wanna throw my all / into your world.” he stops playing once his voice gets a little too loud and he can hear it echo, wincing.

a girl group medley wouldn’t be too bad, but considering his time frame, the amount of time it would take him to decide on songs and arrange them together and practice seemed unrealistic. maybe he’ll just stick with one or two. 

it’s relatively smooth sailing after that -- he ends up choosing tooice’s tt, and after another session of scrolling through random songs on youtube to try and jar his memory as to what would be good to sing, he decides to settle on a billie eilish song as well. no matter how much he tries, he can’t ignore his ballad and emotional vocal side.

by the night before the performance, hyojin finds that the late thoughts have ebbed away, and falls into a dreamless sleep.

❀ IN THE STUDIO ; 

if he was asked to list out the top three things he was most grateful for at that very moment, hyojin would definitely list his cousin as one of them. he’s trying not to take note of how clammy his hands feel and the amount of nerves he has for something as big as this, but he manages to maintain his composure, more so to keep up appearances around jooyoung and not worry him. 

perhaps he’s too preoccupied with trying to absorb the largeness of the studio and everything around him, but before he knew it, his hand was being grabbed by jooyoung and he was being pulled along to a section of the seats. it takes him a second too late to realize that they weren’t going to be sitting along this time around -- although it isn’t unwelcome to see seungmin in any sort of setting, the realization that both jooyoung and seungmin were going to be sitting together for god knows how long. he’s tempted to take the lead and sit in between them to avoid becoming the collateral damage of their interaction, but it’s clear that the older male has something else in mind when he literally sits next to the boy.

“ah, seungminnie.” he waves a hand weakly in greeting, only offering an embarrassed smile when he’s responded to with surprise. 

admittedly, he hadn’t told anyone except for maybe jooyoung and sakura, but he also had run into seunghun and sungwoon during auditions. that makes for less than five people, but in retrospect, he didn’t seem like the type to do something like this.

he can feel the tension boiling between the two siblings, sitting awkwardly in his seat and watching the spectacle almost nervously, as if waiting any moment to break them apart in case a fight went down. so this would be what the kim family reunion would be like, huh. although, he supposes the only person missing would be junyoung.

regardless, he simply smiles back at jooyoung when the male turns helplessly to give him a dry smile and shrug, as if saying what can i do, that’s how youngsters are. laughing to try and break the bad mood, he shifts in his seat again and rubs the back of his neck sheepishly.

“let’s just do well, everyone.”

once the broadcasting begins and the ceos are introduced, hyojin finds himself covering his mouth in shock, and he turns to look at jooyoung in surprise. admittedly, he hadn’t really watched much of the mgas unless it was clips concerning sungwoon, so he had thought the judging panel would just be a bunch of professional performers that could judge idols. 

instead, seeing all five figures in front of him on the stage sends shocks through his body, somehow making the stakes seem far higher now that such qualified eyes were upon them. it wasn’t exactly that he listened to a lot of idol music or paid close attention to the entertainment companies, but it’s still the feeling of seeing celebrities in the flesh that makes him so starstruck.

even then, adding onto that, the contestants seemed to be called in a random order after the initial announcements were made by the judges. nevertheless, he tries his best to enjoy the stages, watching carefully and attentively as each of them performed and cheering for his friends. he can’t help but comment on haruto as he gets on the stage as well, surprised at seeing the familiar face.

“ah, so cute,” hyojin says, smiling fondly and his hands curling up in an almost cringe at how endearing he found the boy during his introduction, and he calls out a soft “がんばってね ( ganbatte ne / do your best )” to the boy in japanese before he starts his skating performance. it’s incredibly impressive and certainly something he’s never seen before until now, and the finesse with which the younger boy performed was definitely eye-catching. of course, he stands up in his seat when haruto ends up falling off the stage after waving, clear concern on his face for the poor boy that still doesn’t go away entirely, even when he proves to be okay.

that aside, he remains seated for the rest of the performances, cheering for seungmin as he sings an english song, mesmerized by his voice, and then jooyoung, who plays some of the guitar. despite having heard jooyoung practicing in his room from time to time, hyojin still chuckles at the similarity in their instrument choices, swaying along to the songs he plays.

“guess it’s a kim cousin thing.” he says to seungmin, gesturing at the acoustic guitar he had with him as well, before looking up at jooyoung with his electric guitar meaningfully.

by the time it was his turn to go up, it felt more like he had been watching a concert and was now being asked to perform.

❀ ON THE STAGE ; 

growing shy when he hears baek jiyoung call his name, hyojin grabs his guitar and heads onto the stage, ducking his head down with red ears. admittedly, he’s a little flustered to have all of their attention on him, but he tries his best to stay relaxed nevertheless. the moment he slings the guitar over his shoulder, however, he feels his legs starting to quiver slightly, only growing more intense when baek jiyoung asks him to introduce himself.

“ah, hello, i’m 21 year old kim hyojin,” he says, holding up two fingers on one hand and one finger on the other with a soft smile. 

he tries not to think of other things while speaking, but he can’t help but think back to how doyoung would occasionally call him a ‘pretty boy,’ and even how his old middle school friends would comment on his eye smile and how sweet he looked whenever smiling. stuttering before he continues his sentence, hyojin adds, “i’ve been singing since i was around... seven? yeah -- i won’t take up too much longer, but i hope you’ll enjoy and that the worries you might have had today will be erased. also...”

inhaling softly once he realizes how his legs are wobbling a bit now, hyojin grows sheepish, asking, “would it be okay if i got a chair? i think i’ll sit while playing.” 

thanking the staff member that brings up a chair for him to sit on and adjusting the microphone to his height while strumming the guitar to make sure it’s tuned, he looks up again at the audience, then the judges, trying not to grow red before flashing a thumbs up. taking a deep breath, he starts to strum the beginning to tooice’s tt.

이러지도 못하는데      i’m in two minds 저러지도 못하네      in an awkward situation 그저 바라보며 ba-ba-ba-baby      i just stare and say ba-ba-ba-baby 매일 상상만 해 이름과 함께      everyday i only imagine without asking 쓱 말을 놨네 baby      i talk casually and say your name baby 아직 우린 모르는 사인데     but we don’t even know each other 

singing the song sweetly despite it being at the same fast pace, hyojin purposefully slows down at some parts to emphasize, varying the notes in a more syncopated, sensual way than the typically cutesy way of the original. at the same time, he notably pouts at the last line, his eyes shining as his fingers brush over the strings in a well practiced manner.

nanana nananana 콧노래가 나오다가 나도 몰래      i start humming and before i know it 눈물 날 것 같애     i feel like crying, i don’t feel like myself 아닌 것 같애 내가 아닌 것 같애      this isn’t like me at all i love you so much

 trying not to grow shy when he hears jooyoung’s voice cheering for him the crowd, he closes his eyes briefly, starting to feel himself get lost in the rhythm of the song, growing out of his nervous shell that he had shown in the introduction. as soon as he hits the chord for the last line, he opens his eyes to wink at the judge panel on ‘i love you so much.’

이미 난 다 컸다고 생각하는데      think i’m all grown up now 어쩌면 내 맘인데 왜      i’m free to make my own choices, but why 내 맘대로 할 수 없는 건데      why can’t i have it my way 밀어내려고 하면 할수록      the more i try to push you away 자꾸 끌려 왜 자꾸 자꾸 끌려 baby      the more i’m drawn and attracted to you baby

slowly picking up the beat as he reaches an especially well known part of the popular girl song, he bursts into a bright smile once he starts to see some heads bobbing in the audience, clearly enjoying the rendition of such a popular song, some even starting to do the gestures of the dance vaguely.

i’m like tt, just like tt 이런 내 맘 모르고 너무해 너무해     you don’t know how i feel, so mean, so mean i’m like tt, just like tt tell me that you’d be my baby

hitting the chorus, he starts to have fun with the lyrics, his voice following along smoothly as he slightly angles his head to glance at the contestants in the audience with a slighty half smile, almost like a smirk, shaking his head cutely while singing ‘so mean, so mean.’ once he reaches the end of the segment, he slows down his strumming, ending it on a nice chord. 

before a silence ensues, he adjusts his sitting position ever so slightly before starting, strumming the guitar, before entering right into the middle of the chorus of idonwannabeyouanymore.

if "i love you" was a promise would you break it, if you're honest tell the mirror what you know she's heard before

hitting each beat hard, he starts to sing more powerfully, voice thick with emotion and eyes squeezing shut as he feels the melody, shifting into a far different mood from the playful nature of tt. in a few seconds, the atmosphere suddenly turns melancholy and moody.

i don't wanna be you i don't wanna be you

slowing down as he draws out the lines slowly, he starts playing the guitar more quietly in the background, barely pausing to repeat the line again, this time going into a higher note, hearing it sound smoothly in the studio.

i don't wanna be you, anymore 

finally, one last time, he echoes the last line, playing nothing but one last chord and eyes reopening gradually. removing his fingers from the neck of the guitar, he speaks a “thank you” into the microphone before standing up and bowing multiple times to the people around him.

flipping the guitar so that it hung over his shoulder against his back, he makes his way off the stage with a little more confidence than when he entered it. as much as it was nervewracking, he would be lying if he said it wasn’t enjoyable.

maybe singing was what he was meant to do, after all.

[polyglotturtle]

My many tongues

Here on tumblr, there are a lot of people that are in love with learning new languages as much as I am. Behind every such multilingual character is a different story and I wanted to share mine.

I got a bit of a head start since I grew up bilingually. My parents are from Poland and migrated to Germany. The first language I learned at home was therefore Polish and some bits of German my parents knew. When I started to go kindergarten I learned German from other children and the educators. So when you listen to me speaking German you notice that I’m from the south of Germany, but you really don’t hear that my parents are from a different country originally. Oh, the treat of learning languages early.

Let’s wind a bit forward in my life, to the point I start attending the German version of Highschool I guess? It’s called Gymnasium. There you often start learning English as the first foreign language (nowadays children already start in elementary school). You know because English is the very most important language of them all. Ugh, how that annoyed me. In this very same year, we had “test classes” for French and Latin, so we would know which language we wanted to choose to learn in the following year. Attending both “test classes” was mandatory, so each student got to know what they’re more interested in. Well, all my friends wanted to choose French. I wanted to choose Latin. Everyone started to try and convince me to take French because a) it’s more useful and b) all your friends are taking French. Many thanks to my guts though I chose Latin, which I ended up studying later in Uni, but that is a story for the next paragraph. In this one, I want to tell you about my Spanish experiences as well. Two years later, we again had “test classes”. This time it was about choosing whether we wanted to learn yet another language, which was Spanish, or whether we wanted to learn some more additional physical, biological and chemical stuff, which was a subject called Sciences, where you learned all sorts of stuff of which one was, how to build a bridge out of spaghetti. Again everyone had to take both classes. And I chose Spanish. Want to know why. Not because I fell in love with it like I did with Latin. I chose it because I got a bad grade on one of my physics tests, so I didn’t want to risk anything. Well, the first year of Spanish was ok. The second was a disaster because I grew to hate our teacher so much. She was overdoing class a bit with a lot of boring and repetitive tasks, so I wasn’t the only one that started to dislike her. My grades went down quite a lot, I started regretting, not choosing the Sciences, but now it was too late I had to pull through. And guess what. When I had to decide which two languages out of three I would like to have as A-Level classes, I went with Latin and Spanish, just because I saw the list of English teachers taking on the A-Level classes and I was like no! Not those, nopedy nopedy nope. At first, I was afraid that Spanish would continue to be a torture, but it was a different teacher teaching this one so I was hoping it would all get better. AND IT DID. Although this teacher recommended me not to take Spanish in my A-Levels, because of the bad grades I used to have, she still took care of me as she did with the others and my grades started to get better again. I passed my A-Levels and was moving on to University. To one far away from all those traumas I experienced.

What to study? There was a huge dilemma because I was both interested in computer sciences and languages. My brain told me to pick computer sciences because getting a job after graduating would be easier, but my guts reminded me that I’m shit at maths and that I really really love Latin! So I applied for Classic Philology in Cologne in Germany. I studied Latin and had to learn Ancient Greek from scratch, which was a beautiful experience, but soon I’d realise that both such demanding languages would be too much to handle. Luckily at the University in Cologne, it was possible to combine Latin with languages form other fields. That is how I came to study Polish as well. Since I didn’t grow up there I never knew much about the literature and the culture connected with them. The short family visits only really showed me some of that everyday life, but it didn’t teach me anything about history and the great works of the intellectuals. It was exciting to connect to the home of my family in a new way and understand better where a lot of the grudges and oddities come from. Especially since Polish authors connected a lot of their literature with the ancient culture of Rome. I graduated in both those subjects and moved on, to a new subject for my master’s studies. During my studies, I met a lot of people with a lot more passion than I had both for Latin and Polish, so I figured that maybe it is not quite the right thing for me. I looked through the course catalogue and there I saw it. LINGUISTICS. “A possibility to learn all things about all the languages?!”, I thought to myself and applied. They took me! That was my ticket to explore my new favourite language. Welsh.

How I got to know about Welsh? While playing an online game called DotA 2, I met a guy who studied in Cardiff. We got along so well, that we decided we want to meet up, so I went and visited him. There I saw bilingual signs everywhere and I wondered: What is this wicked language? I knew about Ireland having their own Celtic language, but I didn’t know about Scottish Gaelic, Welsh, Cornish, Manx and Breton. This is how I learned about another European language family and I got excited. I promised myself to only look into the basics of the language to get a grasp of how it works and then to focus on Latin again. Unfortunately, I’m not good at keeping promises, especially those I make to myself. I never stopped learning and am still learning until today.

So my masters began and I participated in all the different courses about first language acquisition, psychological and neurological linguistics. Additionally, I decided to freshen up my Spanish and start learning French. Both courses had amazing teachers and I loved everything I learned. They were not only teaching us the language but the culture of the different countries they were spoken in. I’ve learned so much and enjoyed experiencing all this input a lot!

Now that my master’s degree is coming to an end slowly I’m looking for a nice university to do my PhD at. I would love to do research on something that is related to the Welsh language, so I’m looking at universities in Britain. I visited Cardiff, Aberystwyth and Bangor already. In March, I would love to see Swansea as well. It is very important for me to have visited all those cities in order to make the right decision since it involves spending another three to five years at that location. Unfortunately, Brexit might destroy those plans for me, so of course, I will be starting to learn Norwegian in October because I want to have a plan B.

Oh wow. This post got a bit on the long side. If you have spare money and like to throw it out for unnecessary things you might consider supporting me on Ko-Fi. You’d help me get some money aside for visiting Swansea or for a flat deposit when I’ll move for my PhD next year.

I hope you all have a good day! Feel free to ask me anything about languages!

[dumbthinmint]

Boss Week Day 2 & 3

Growth:

The primary way I think the channel and Sean helped me grow as a person was the PMA movement. As I described in my post for day 1, I was a bit of a wreck when I started watching the channel. Abusive ex-boyfriend was stalking and harrassing me online while horrible PTSD was causing me to skip class and stay in bed all day. I felt like God has designed me to just be a high school valedictorian and that I had now outlived my usefulness to the world. But at the same time, I had started watching Sean play the full release of Subnautica. I made a tumblr. I saw the PMA movement explode across the community. That... that felt like it was worth something. Fast forward a few months, after finishing my freshman year of college, getting a better therapist, and finding a passion working with the bilingual ministry in my church, the PMA movement had become more than just something with worth. It had become something I felt like I could be a part of and help others through. Having that constant dialogue of positivity and encouragement, both before and after that summer of recovery... it was like having a path of growth beneath my feet. I still had to take the steps along the path myself, but having the path allowed me to both look ahead at where I wanted to end up and look back on how far I've come.

Friends:

I have made soooooo many friends in this community. First and foremost, I would be remiss not to shout out @viostormcaller. They were my first friend in this community, the person who explained the egos and theorist side of things to me, and the inspiring and encouraging presence that motivated me to become a content creator myself and create @thewatchau. I owe a so much of my interaction and initial contact with this community to Vio. They are an amazing friend and I am so glad to have met them.

Next, @a-septic-mind popped onto The Watch AU early on and volunteered to help me put together the discord for the au. She has been an amazing help- I don't think The Watch AU would have thrived nearly so much without her- but more than that, she is a great friend and support. She's like the combination of a mom friend, coworker, and cheerleader, and I am sooooo grateful to have met her.

@egopocalypse is someone I actually knew in high school! We reconnected via The Watch AU and let me tell you... having someone who you knew in real life and then met again in an internet community is an insanely validating and wholesome thing. The fact that this person who I already knew and liked and respected was also a part of this community... I dunno. It just made it all feel much more real. I am thrilled to have the chance to reconnect with River and carry this friendship over into this new phase of my life.

And that's not even mentioning all of the wonderful people who I've met through The Watch AU! @huffletrax @fairyofsomething @livingemerald @honestlyitsjustkenna @shamrockace @autumnleafauthor @bunchofdoodlesinspace @kitnkas and more whose usernames I can't remember. You guys are all absolutely amazing and I am so grateful for all of your support and friendship.