#but i legit ss this from my insta

[in-her-wildest-dreams]

MY LA SECRET SESSION EXPERIENCE!

Background:

So Taylor’s been following me for over 2 years now and she’s showed up for me somewhat regularly ever since she followed me which I’m incredibly grateful for (like INCREDIBLY). When she did secret sessions last era, I didn’t even have a fan account for anything and I got all the news off insta and my best friends in real life @thislove-brittany and @thosegeorgiastars13 when we would come into school and talk about how some extremely lucky fans got to go into her home and hang with her for hours on end. At that point we all almost had to laugh because we live in Australia and we weren’t known AT ALL by Taylor and we just told ourselves it was such a far fetched dream it was ridiculous… Fast forward a few months later that next year in 2015, when Taylor followed me – I believe to this day she saw a photo of B, G and I posing as Bad Blood characters, and she followed me from that. So basically the first memory I have of Taylor acknowledging my existence was shared with my 2 best friends, but let me now continue with the story….

 On the 1st of January this year, I wrote this post: 

About 4 weeks ago, things at uni went downhill and I had quite literally hit rock bottom in terms of my stress and my future regarding uni. At the same sort of time Taylor had started joining people’s livestreams but she would do so between the hours of 3-7am Australian time so I just kept waking up to her lurking people and watching their lives while I had zero chances in the first place and it was there and then that I thought to myself ‘I’m never meeting her, I have negative hope that I’ll ever meet Taylor” and basically I spent a few days not logging in very much because I was so upset about everything and just didn’t want to bother. But then I started having so many fun events like friends and family birthday parties over those next few weekends and life felt a bit better. During one of those weeks, Taylor had seen 2 or 3 of my tumblr posts where I complimented people’s selfies and it hit me then that good things were still coming and that she still probably maybe had her eye on me (but it was still just wishful thinking). Then London SS happened and my best friend from England, Katy aka @ethereal-swiftness ended up meeting T and I’d sent her an ask about keeping the secret and Taylor saw that a day later and once again I really started to feel things again and it was almost as if right then I knew something was coming for me – like I just knew.

 Getting Contacted by TN

So it was Wednesday morning on the 18th of October, 5.36am, when B and G texted me about 23 times in a row with messages like “EMENME” “CHECK TUMVLT NOW GO DHCIENEONC DO IT CHEJCK IT” “WE GOT THE SMEDSAHE” so naturally I nearly fell out of my bed because yes, in fact, my 2 best friends in real life had both individually received a confidential message from TN and so I went to check my tumblr and there was nothing there so I was worried at first, but I know they always take a while to send each one out, and once again, by my own intuition, I just knew I was getting one, and knew somehow that all of us were going to meet her together at some point – we’d been on countless walks by the beach all year dreaming about the day we’d meet T together, and I just knew in my heart it would happen for us all – and so I had to go to uni that day so I was checking my messages every other minute of the day, and I got home in the afternoon and had a nap because I was physically exhausted LOL. Next minute I realise its nearly 6pm and I was getting ready for dinner, and out of nowhere, my subconscious mind decided that I’d click on my twitter app, which I genuinely barely EVER touch these days - I hadn’t touched it in days, but somehow my mind told me to click on it in that moment, and the second I logged in there was one new message, and there it was. I screamed so loud and started shrieking, running over to mum and dad and yelling at them – they were very very excited because I’d told them about the girls getting one that morning!!! I couldn’t believe they’d sent it via twitter as my main account is tumblr and I was expecting it to come from there but hey then I realised how shifty Taylor is and she probably gave them my twitter because its in my tumblr bio (!!!!!!) (TN don’t follow me on twitter either). They asked for my details in the message. Anyway so it hit me that night that I was officially meeting Taylor anytime in the next 2 weeks or so and I remember proper crying in the shower that night (I never cry properly like I just don’t do it?!!!!) because it was just a shock and it couldn’t have come at a better time honestly and it all just hit me so hard. So anyway the next day I was writing my notes for uni and at about 1pm, I got a call from a New York number and I knew instantly it was TN. I think it may have been Sierra but I honestly can’t remember LOL so the first thing she said was “I understand this may be a bit of a flight…” and in the moment I was like ‘yeah no Sydney or Melbourne is nothing for me’, expecting the event was to be held in Australia LOL, but the next thing she said was “So there’s actually going to be an event in the Los Angeles area on Sunday” and I straight away said “wait you mean this Sunday?!!!” and she said “Yes like in 4 days Sunday, yes in Los Angeles, now I know this is a lot and you may not be able to come but at this stage there’s nothing else on the cards, and we do have your details now and we can send you some things in the meantime” so I said “okay okay can I just call you back so I can sort some things out, can I please just call you back” and she was fine with that and so I hung up and told Mum instantly and then called Dad and he was so happy for me that he was already helping me look up next day flights! So low and behold, within the hour, I ended up booking flights myself and getting in contact with the girls so we could sort out similar flight times and hotels etc, and TN called me back and I told them it was a ‘go’ and that’s the story of how I was suddenly about to fly to LA with one days’ notice to meet Taylor Swift LOL. So basically I had to spend the next few days making up (very) lame excuses to you guys online as to why I wasn’t posting at my usual times and it was the hardest secret I will ever have to keep OH. MY. GOD.

 Arriving in LA

So Friday morning LA time I arrived and met up with the girls straight away at the airport luckily, and we made our way to our hotel. Of course because we were all on a 13+ hour flight, we missed the release of ‘Gorgeous’ and we knew we had to learn the lyrics before Sunday LOL so it was on repeat for 48 hours straight and we were loving every moment of it. We had an amazing 2 full days exploring LA and doing fun things, knowing how excited we were for Sunday’s adventure!!!

Meeting Taylor

In no time it was Sunday the 22nd October, aka the day we were meeting Taylor Swift in her LA home. (!!!!!!) We had to go out shopping in the morning to find a frame for B’s painting she was doing for T, and then we probably spent the rest of the day in the hotel with ‘Gorgeous’ on repeat getting prepared to actually get ready LOL. By 12pm we started doing our makeup and hair because we didn’t want to rush the process or anything, and honestly soon enough it was already 3.30pm and we were downstairs taking photos and vlogging, about to hop in an uber to take us to the meeting spot (!!!!!!). So we get there and walk inside to where TN directed us, fill out some details and get our wristbands (!!!!!) and suddenly I recognise this girl with dark hair and a stripy dress, and I just kNEW straight away it was Bella aka @swiftful-thinking13 but I had that fear it wasn’t so I waited a bit longer to properly check and it was DEFINITELY her LOL so we were all kind of standing in a circle and I just looked at her and went “Bella… Bella… BELLA” and she dead set looked at me in complete and utter shock for god knows how long (there were no words coming out I kid you not) and so then and there we both ran into a hug and she basically started crying, saying “THIS IS BETTER THAN MEETING TAYLOR SWIFT I CANT BELIEVE YOU’RE HERE IN LA WTF MY DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE I LOVE YOU” and literally until we actually got on the shuttle she was in disbelief and none of us could quite believe what was happening LOL (I knew ALL ALONG she was gonna be there, may I add, I KNEW it).

This is a pic of Bella and I basically as soon as we met!!

Anyway among all this chaos, someone informed me that @ohkimani just rolled up and I legit stood up, looked around and went “KIMANI” and there she was in front of me and yeah that was casual, considering I was supposed to meet both these girls in a few months time when I’m back in LA!!! So we took some photos, had a good chat, and I also met Paige!! ( @heypay ), and waited around until it was time for us all to get on the shuttles to the ‘secret location’.

Kimani, Bella and I!                             

 It was about 6pm or so when our group got on the shuttle after a security check, and I sat next to Bella, while B and G sat right behind us, and we spent the entire ride basically holding each others hands crying, knowing that we were minutes away from Taylor Swift’s house (!!!!!!). So we roll up to her place, the gates open and it felt like I was in wonderland in that moment, I’m telling you it was indescribable. We had to have another body check when we got off the shuttle, and we were then told to stand against the wall. On my way to the wall, I saw what looked like her guest living area all lit up with about 20 candles sitting around a bench LOL, and then there was an archway next to the wall to the backyard that was surrounded by fairy lights!!!!!!!! So in the few minutes we waited for everyone to get off the bus, we started hyperventilating and going into panic mode like I think I said to Bella about 20 times in a row that I wanted to turn around and leave because it felt fake and I got so scared suddenly that we were about to be in Taylor Swift’s presence (!!!!!!!!). 

Anyway soon enough I think it was Erica who escorted us through to the backyard, and into the pool area where the first group were mingling. All the food was set up on tables around the pool area and I just about lost my entire soul in that moment…. It was like a scene from a Hollywood movie like her location is divine!!!! and just sitting around her pool eating her food was a feeling I could never ever ever describe to you…ever. I had a plate with hommus and carrots because a lot of you know I can’t live without hommus LOL, and I had some olives, a REP cookie, REP m&m’s, a sushi roll thing, chips, and of course, a SMART water hehe. When we went to sit down by the jacuzzi, ‘Fire Away’ by Chris Stapleton started playing, and Bella and I just looked at each other in disbelief because in that moment everything was perfect, and we were listening to such a chilled, country song as the sun set in the most beautiful way over LA on a warm autumnal night at Taylor Swift’s house. It was there that I think we both just cried, like we’d met for the first time at Taylor Swift’s house and we’d already felt like best friends and it all came full circle, and I looked at B and G and went, guys this just isn’t real, its not… how did we fly here, I can’t believe life right now. That moment is a memory I’ll treasure forever and I truly could not have felt more content with my life – everything felt perfect. So we were waiting until the other groups arrived, and suddenly I saw Tree turn up so I went over and while she was chatting to other people, @teardropsonsmyguitar came over to me and said “OH MY GOD I KNEW I RECOGNISED YOU OH MY GOD EMILY HEY” and I was like oh my gODDD girl, remind me your username again!!!! And she told me and I knew it was Kaitlyn straight away and she told me I was beautiful etc and just about cried then too because I felt closer than ever to everyone there even though I was oceans away from home! Finally Tree turned to us and she said “So where are you guys from?!” and B, G and I said together “Australia!” and she goes “wOW WOW oh my GOD what part?!” and we said Gold Coast and she was so enthused and ecstatic for us and then I asked her how her cat is going and she told us a cute little story and it was adorable hehe and then we spoke more and she had to go and check on something and left. I also finally got to meet my Aussie gal @screamedsooloud and her sister during that time and we were talking about the fact that none of us knew if any other Aussies were gonna be there and omg Dani is truly as funny as you see online LOL. 

Anyway soon after, we were escorted back up to the house, into a small living area with candles lit everywhere and soft pillows/blankets all over the floor. I was so mesmerised by everything that I wasn’t paying attention to where B and G were and suddenly they said “EM, come over here!!!” and I turned around and saw a red chair with speakers either side and I knew EXACTLY where homegirl was about to be sitting, so somehow we ended up smack bang at the front of the room, less than 1m away from the chair. We then spent a solid 10 minutes screeching and crying to each other, knowing Taylor Swift was about to sit less than a f*****g metre away from us for 2 hours (!!!!!!!!!!!!). So yeah all of a sudden, there was commotion at the back of the room, and Taylor Alison Swift appeared through the curtain, and the whole room turned into madness and hysteria holy christ, but no apparently that wasn’t enough – two of the HAIM sisters are right behind her, as well as Jack Antonoff, Ruby Rose, Jessica Veronica (I think), Ash Avignone, and someone else and the whole room went into riot (!!!!!!) Taylor made her way to the front, hugging some people along the way, including B, to which T said “YOU MADE IT!”, knowing we came from Australia (????!!!!!!!). So there we were, less than a metre away from Taylor Swift herself, trying to act like we were somewhat alive in that moment. She looks very different in real life I found I don’t know she just looked so beautiful and perfect in every way and she was wearing high waisted camo pants with huge boots and a long sleeved black crop with her curly hair and red lips!!! I won’t talk now much about what happened in that room, but I WILL say I had a dance party with her and she came over to us and fully had a proper dance sesh and it still just felt like a dream. Throughout the playing of the album, she looked at me so intently so many times that I felt like I had to look away at times because she truly does stare into your soul like its mesmerising WOW. Anyway when (my now favourite song) was playing, I started crying instantly and I saw that she was watching me at times, and by the last verse, Bella, me, B and G had all lost it, laughing and crying at each other, having the absolute time of our lives, and T watched us, smiling and miming the lyrics to us the whole verse and that was by far probably the happiest moment of my life, it was just a feeling you could not put into words – it meant everything and it couldn’t have been more perfect, she made that song extra special for me and I’ll have that memory to hold onto forever. We also fully bowed down to her like you actually would to Queen Elizabeth, because hey she IS a queen, and it was so funny LOL. 

Once she’d kinda finished up with that part of the night, she told us she had to go de-sweat and freshen up because that LA heat with 100 of us in a small room was really getting to everyone and so we kinda mingled and went for a bathroom rush to freshen up ourselves before we started the meet and greet/photo opportunity. We went to what was probably her guest bathroom, as the house is still in renovation and there were actual notes on the wall saying ‘wallpaper’ etc like it was legit in mid renovation so it was exciting to know that she told us we were the first official ‘guests’ in this home?!!!! And then we got back into the room and mingled while people started forming a line to the next room where she was about to take photos and meet us! It was probably about 45 minutes later, after lots of crying and talking and general disbelief, that we were about to walk over and hug Taylor Swift – ‘Malibu’ by Miley Cyrus was playing right before we met her and I could not have been happier I swear. 

Brittany went over first and she hugged her so tight, and then T looked at me like ‘HEY!’ and we hugged (absolutely magical hugs they are), and then G hugged her. The first thing I said was “okay so we got told on Thursday and booked next day flights over here” and she said instantly “look I still can’t believe you guys made it like I can’t believe it WOW!” and then I think we spoke a bit more about it and she said “so Ali texted me before saying ‘The Australians are here!’ and I was so excited and I can’t believe you’re actually here!” And B said something like “of COURSE we’re here we wouldn’t miss it!!!” and then I think we must have taken the photo and I was like “Can I hold the Grammy” and she was like “uhhh yeaahhhhhhh” and I asked her which Grammy it was to which she said “1989 AOTY” and so there I was holding her latest Grammy in her house, just casually. I gave it to B to hold, and then held it again on the throne that we sat on in the photo LOL, and she gave G the phone from the LWYMMD music video that she danced with earlier LOL. So we all sat down and then T leaned in from the side and I think she put her arm around B and before I could even orientate myself nicely they’d already taken the photo LOL so I’m worried how that will turn out…. So then we all spoke a bit more and I asked her how the cats were and she said “yeah they’re doing really well at home now, although they did have a fight today” and she showed me the scar on her finger LOL, and then she said “but Meredith’s been so good lately, she’s been behaving and she even purred” and I think I just laughed and said ‘yeah purring’s always a good sign’ or something stupid, and then I complimented her black sparkly nails and she pulled them out towards us and said “aww thanks, do you like them? I did them today!” and then we must have said again that we couldn’t believe we were really there and she said “guys I just cannot believe you made it, thank you so much” and then the girls walked away because everyone seemed to go as a group first and then allow each person to have a one on one with Taylor. So suddenly it was just me and Taylor and I think the first thing we did was get a photo and so I said “okay what should we do” and she was like “I don’t mind, whatever you want” and so I quickly said “lets just hug” because I always wanted a cute hugging photo so we just locked ourselves in a hug, and JUST as the photographer was about to take our photo, they had to walk away and change something, so in any normal situation I thought T would let go and just wait, but she LITERALLY KEPT HUGGING ME in that position and I nearly died I was in shock but also felt so loved in that moment and I said “oh my god you smell AMAZING” because we were literally THAT close her scent was fully rubbing off on me and she smelled DIVINE like my gOD !!!!!! And she said “awww thanks” and then I think we finally got our photo, and then started talking more. The first proper thing she said was “oh my god I LOVE your dress so much, wow, its like perfect for like a more important, special type of occasion, like a first date, you know what I mean?!” and I just lost it then wow. I think after that I mentioned how thankful I am for all the tumblr friends I’ve made and how supportive we are online and she said something like “awww yes it’s the most beautiful thing” and then I mentioned Akhila ( @smilingswiftie ) and how she told me she was meeting T beforehand and then I realised I probably shouldn’t have told Taylor that so I quickly said “don’t worry, I kept the secret!!” and she turned back and cackled LOL I found it pretty funny and then she ACTUALLY SPOKE ABOUT AKHILA and said “oh my god she’s so pure and adorable and I didn’t want to let her go” and I said “yeah she’s so beautiful” and then I mentioned how Mere  ( @lifeofswiftie89 ) had mentioned Jess ( @jessicaswiftie1989 ) and I (my OG group chat) at the RI ss and she interrupted and said “ah Meredith with the cats” and nodded and said “yeah yeah” before I finished Jess’s name and she fully knew them as she apparently did when Mere mentioned Jess and I to her (?!!!!!) so yeah that happened and she knows a LOT of people I tell you… And then I think she was just standing there and I remember looking up and saying “you’re GORGEOUS” because I wanted to sneak in the ‘gorgeous’ reference LOL, and she stepped back and did that cute little smile of hers and said “thanks GORGEOUSSSSSSS” just like she sings it in the song (!!!!!!) and then I probably said for the millionth time that I couldn’t quite believe I was there and she said for the millionth time “I can’t believe you’re here thank you so much for coming!!” and then she had the AUDACITY to say so casually like so casually I almost died, that “you were on the list ages ago, I’m so sorry they took so long!” and I think I just laughed in shock and went “well I can’t BELIEVE I’m here, thank you so much” and then I think she hugged me again and we said our goodbyes and it was B and G’s turn to speak with her. I got my merch bag and Ali wanted me to wait for the girls because they wanted to interview us about coming all this way…. And then soon enough we were escorted out the side door and back onto the bus and I basically wanted to cry then LOL and so that was the story of how I flew 13 hours across the world with 3 days notice to meet Taylor Swift in LA with my 2 best friends!!!!!!!

Timing really is a funny thing, and it all just so happened at quite honestly the most perfect time ever. This year I have felt more confident than ever, and most content with myself and my life and I feel like the best things happen when you’re at your best and that’s why meeting her when I did couldn’t have possibly come at a better time – just know that good things come to those who wait, and you’ll know when you know, I promise. Never ever ever give up. 

And so to end the story, on October 22nd 2017, this happened:

thank you endlessly from the bottom of my heart for the opportunity of a lifetime, and for giving me a memory I will NEVER forget as long as I live, Taylor, you’re truly the best there is :’)

[snapedefender]

I was going through my feed on insta and there's legit a whole, entire account dedicated in taking every post with SS positivity and ultimately shitting on it. It fathoms me how people could be so ruthless for a fictional character FULL of flaws caused by years of abuse, and undermining all aspects of him. Abuse doesn't give SS a reason to be a jerk, I get that. But what hits me the most is the hatred they expel. I like SS DESPITE all he has done but that does not make me agree with his choices.

And they even scour for shitposts about SS, and then point out the ‘flawed logic’ when that was the exact point in the first place. It gets me heated seeing others beat a dead horse. SS was not a good man (to me) He made choices in which I don’t agree with, choices that don’t go along in my own moral codes. Severus was rude, he was cruel. But for a man to live with wounds in his mind and soul, it is obvious he would be broken.

like it’s one thing to dislike a character. we all have characters we just don’t like or rub us the wrong way. and snape is definitely unlikeable - deliberately on rowling’s part, i would say, but i do actually get why there are people that dislike him. he does some bad shit, he’s not a nice man, and he makes mistakes. he’s full of flaws. 

but it’s another thing ENTIRELY to go from disliking a character to shitting on them intensely and repeatedly, often at the expense of their fanbase. it’s another thing entirely to treat the fans of that character so poorly, as if by simply liking a character they’ve become morally suspect. and for me, it’s worse bc a lot of people pretend that there’s nothing in snape that we can relate to or find sympathetic. snape is a flawed character, but he does good things too and antis so often will sweep that under the rug so they can feel morally superior. or, even worse, insist that people only like snape bc…. they’re girls??? and girls are stupid for romance???? even tho a lot of pro-snape people recognize that snape and lily’s relationship was unhealthy (or even dislike it???), even tho lots of pro-snape people like him for reasons that have nothing to do with lily. 

and it gets even worse bc then they’ll list all these reasons they dislike snape and they’re all largely made up or blown out of proportion of what actually happens in the books. fandom has created something of a strawman snape where he does all this shit in their heads that they blame him for, but the truth is a LOT of the stuff antis come up with is either entirely made up fanon or grossly exaggerated. so like…. they’re even hating him for stupid reasons and not the actual, legitimate reasons canon gives us to dislike him lmao.

honestly girl, i agree with you. there’s a lot of shit snape does that i, personally, don’t agree with or find morally right. i think he did a lot of shitty things, a lot of petty things. but refusing to see the context of his actions, refusing to acknowledge the good he did manage to do, the brave and decent shit he did, that’s an even worse disservice to his character and it boggles me that antis can’t SEE that.

[loveinruins]

Are we just friends now?

He messaged me this morning asking if I had gotten the raffle tickets, I was like nah i’ll get them this morning then he goes I’m just gonna tell the 2IC’s to tell their teams respectively as in for us all to tell our teams about the incentive that was running today. I wrote back saying lol someone doesn’t like public speaking orrrrr he goes yeah might burst out in a tear or two but hey it’ll be cute (referring to when I cried because of SS on her last day whilst making a speech to my whole department) and I wrote back i thought as much and he goes right? and then I said not the second part and he goes TL totally licked - trying to be a fuckwit about my initials.

So the day goes on, we don’t talk much whatever I didn’t really care, he skyped me talking shit about work and then he obviously watched my snap story I posted this morning and he goes gotta show me a makeup tute later tho hahahaha and i go lol yeah you need it babe. He replies with ouchhhhh and I go well that’s what you get for your comments this morning. He goes brah brah brah shots fired.

Anyway I didn’t have lunch with him on purpose today because I said I was going to put distance so I went and had lunch with EM and some of the people from her department. It was good to have lunch with not the usual as well even though I did kinda miss him a bit but I was like nah - put space, you need it.

I did see him KT and MT in the foodcourt, I think he saw me but didn’t want to approach me so he kinda just walked off and I pretended like I didn’t see him but I did.

Anyway comes afternoon break, I was on the phone and he came to collect the raffle tickets and whatever by the end of the day MT was like are you coming or? He goes what we’re leaving now? So we all left and he offered to take MT to chaddy because she needed to meet her friend there. So me, him, MT, AC and KT all walked down towards flinders and KT went off to bourke. As we’re walking he doesn’t give me anything, not sure why but he was being cold af. I was like lol k whatever. We get to the station and on the train and it was fine, he was just being normal and we get to kooyong where he parked and AC drove as well so him and MT went into one car and me and G went in his car. He turned to me and was like oh are you gonna come chaddy? I go well yeah.. or should I not come orrr? He like rolled his eyes and  took his time putting water in the window wiping thing of his car and doing some other shit in the car.

A song came on and he goes oh you gonna shazam this one and I go I already know the song actually - I go if it bothers you so much about me “stealing” your songs then don’t play them when you’re with me. He goes yeah but I’m DJ G and I was like ugh whatever. Anyway we eventually started driving and it was fine. We had a serious chat about my sitch with my manager and he made some really valid points about how this is going to test me. 

I did appreciate what he was saying because I know what he was trying to do and that was to try and make me feel better. He even said you know I know you’re there for me when it’s shit too. I go yeah..

When we got to chaddy, I didn’t want to walk around with my iPad in my bag because it was heavy and as I opened the glove box as I normally do to put it in there he had a box of condoms in there. It was like my worst nightmare come true.

Legit I felt sick for 2 seconds and I said T you can’t be upset about it, he’s not your boyfriend, he is a boy, he will fuck anything that moves. As I got out of the car to walk towards chaddy - He knows I saw it and goes sorry, I knew someone was gonna open that and be like wtf eyyy, then he goes yeah needed them for the other day.. like did I really need to fucking know that? Did you have to rub it in my face? I go yeah well at least you’re being safe, you know not fucking bitches and thinking they’re pregnant and continuing to hang out with them once you find our they’re not.. he goes what did you say and pretends to play push me because I was being a smartass about his sitch.

I laughed as I called AC to see where abouts he was. AC tells me he might have to leave to go pick up his cousin from uni cos she doesn’t drive and I hung up and I go AC might have to leave.. We were walking up the stairs to the entrance and I go why does everyone always ditch us? Then he goes.. babe what’s with you planning all these sneaky dates with me? It’s your plan isn’t it? I go lol what? Maybe it’s you that’s doing that since you always bring it up and think and say that and I laughed and he goes in a sarcastic voice yeah babe didn’t you know I’m secretly madly in love with you. I go yeah it’s ok you can just admit it I already know. As I was laughing at my statement he like kinda walked away from me as I was saying that and turned the other way so I couldn’t see his face. I just thought is he turning away from me because he doesn’t want me to see if he was embarrassed orrrr what he was hiding but he was hiding something because he couldn’t look at me in the face when I said that.

We met up with AC and G was like bro why are you going I wanted to see you? We haven’t kicked it in ages and I go yeah AC didn’t you know he wanted to see you not me and G goes yeah exactly. He goes I’ll see you guys tomorrow anyway and then he left. So once again me and G are left alone on a friday. Not that I’m really complaining I guess. So standard he didn’t want to eat at any of the places in chaddy so he goes leggo get kebabs.. I was like where he goes mums.. I’m like fuck no.. really? He goes yeah why not.. I’m like ugh fine if you really want to and he goes what do you want? and mimicks me and says “anything but indian” and I go yeah or mexican and told him why I hate mexican because of that time I got really sick.

Anyway so we decided on kebabs, he took me to some full local joint in dandy, when we got up tot he counter he goes I gotchu here I’m thinking wtf he’s going to pay for me? what in the actual fuck has hell frozen over? But he meant ordering for me.. not paying. I knew it was too good to be true. We ordered and drove to a park to eat because there were not proper tables and chairs at this place. 

We were eating and it was cute, like in a cheap date kinda way. I mean he thinks I’m really boujee sometimes but I mean I just like nice things.. that’s all. I was telling him stories of when I was a teen and he was like lol you’re a hood bitch at heart, you can’t take the hood out of the girl and I rolled my eyes. 

As per usual I didn’t finish my kebab and he was like are you gonna finish your food for once? I go I’m full legit I can’t I literally ate 2/3 of it anyway and I go do you want me to chuck it or do you want it, he took two bites and ended up chucking it and I go why did you give me a look of disgust when I said I wanted to chuck it if you were gonna do it anyway.. drainer and he goes babe I’ll do what I want ok and makes a joke about leaving me at the park if I don’t get into the car because it was really windy and dust was blowing everywhere.

So we leave the park and start driving towards my car and he was being a little shit and I go don’t tell me to shush, it fucking irritates me and he goes I know, I go why do you like to piss me off? Like you actually enjoy it orrr? Do you want me to just flip my shit, I don’t get it.. I go you’re a fucking weirdo. He goes thanks. Anyway so we’re driving and I was like fuck it I’m going to snap him and so I did and the first one he looked so like broady and I go I’m not even gonna story that.. everyones gonna be like who the fuck is that.. he goes what you’re embarrassed/ ashamed of me? I go no.. I never said that - just that snap is too much.. I’ll send it to AC. I then took another one of him when he was dancing like a dickhead to put him on my story but he stopped as soon as I pointed my phone at him.. in the video he looked sooooo fucking cute, like you could see his dimple so  on his face. I’m not gonna lie I think I’ve rewatched it about 15 times and I’ve saved it to my memories.

Anyway we get to my car and as I get out he said something about going tomorrow to costco I go fine I won’t come tomorrow and he goes good and I’m like good you and Marie will go and he’s like sick and I go cya and then he was just like bye and drove off.

So here I am now, his “friend”. I’d rather be that than anything else really, I went onto his insta followers and was looking at the girls that have followed him recently and can I just say.. trashhhhhhhhhhh.

It’ll be interesting to see how it all unfolds tomorrow...