#but i really liked his album too!!

[starry-bi-sky]

Stuck in the middle of a forest made of

Flesh and bones and they're all scared of

A lost little boy who has lost his heart

Fear's not enough, they have to

Tear him apart —-------

There are two things Daniel Fenton knows that his family knows as well: 

He’s adopted.

He can’t remember anything else before that.  

‘Adoption’ is a loose term, implying that they went through the official legal processes and troubles of adopting a child into their home willingly, and with the full intention of doing so going into it. That is not what happened. What happened is that Jasmine Fenton found a half-dead child, in strange clothing, in the middle of the woods at her Aunt Alicia’s cabin, and then she went and got her parents. 

What happened is that a twelve year old Danny woke up in the same cabin, wearing clothes much too big on him that didn’t belong to him, and with very little memory of before that moment. He wakes up like a spring being set loose, sitting up so fast he scares the daylights out of Jasmine Fenton sitting next to him. He wakes up, reaching for his sleeve for something that isn’t there, and when it isn’t his mind stutters, like he’s tripped at the top of a steep hill. 

When they ask him for his name, he tells them, clearing muddled thoughts from his mind; Danny. He’s twelve.

(He thinks that’s his name, at least. It sounds right; it feels right. If he thinks really hard about it, he thinks he can remember someone calling him that, utter adoration in their voice. So it must be his name.) 

The Jasmine girl convinces her parents to take him home with them, and they give him the spare guest room upstairs. He has nothing to fill it with.

It’s… a strange experience, to go to a ‘new’ home when he doesn’t even remember his old one. 

The official adoption process… happens. He can’t say it’s easy, or difficult. He’s oblivious for the most of it, Jasmine intends on helping him settle in and Danny can’t say he enjoys the smothering. He learns that he is stubbornly self-independent, that’s one new thing he knows about himself. 

His adoption papers say ‘Daniel J. Fenton’. Danny remembers staring at the name ‘Daniel’ for a long, long moment, something curdling sour in his sternum. His name is Danny, that he knows. But it’s not Daniel. But he doesn’t know any other way of saying it, so he keeps his complaints to himself.

(Jack Fenton boisterously claps his hand on Danny’s shoulder and jerks him around, grinning wide as he welcomes him into the Fenton Family. Danny’s mind blanches at the touch on his shoulder, an instinct snapping like the maw of a snake, telling him to cut off the man’s fingers for daring to touch him.) 

(He keeps the thought to himself, tension rising up his shoulders the longer Jack Fenton’s heavy hand stays on him.) 

They found Danny in the summer. It’s a perfect coincidence, Maddie Fenton says before she goes back into her lab with Jack Fenton. She says it’s enough time to allow Danny to adjust; that they’ll enroll him into the school year in the fall. Then she stuffs a canister of ectoplasm onto the top shelf, and disappears like the ghosts she studies back down the stairs.  

(There’s something eerily familiar about the ectoplasm sitting in the fridge, something unsettlingly so. Danny knows what that stuff is, but he doesn’t know where. When the house is empty, he takes a can from the fridge and inspects it.)

Jazz wants him to leave the house. Danny doesn’t want to step foot outside of the FentonWorks building until he has something that quells the feeling of vulnerability he gets whenever he does. He tried to once, and he felt exposed. Unsafe. 

He turned back around and went inside.

—-------

Where do we go

When the river's running slow

Where do we run

When the cats kill one by one

—------

One day, when the house is empty — or, as empty as it can be; the Fenton parents down in the lab, and jazz out with friends. Danny is making a sandwich, and he caves into the urge to flip the knife in his hands between his fingers. A childish impulse, but one he falls for nonetheless. It comes to him easily, like second nature, in fact. The slip of the blade between his fingers is seamless, flowing with an ease like water running down the wall.  

He’s almost startled by it; his body holds memories that his mind does not. Muscles that know which way to move and twist, limbs that know how to hold and how to throw. He continues twirling it, fascinated, as if he were a scientist discovering a new species of animal. 

It’s not for a handful of minutes when a new thought hits him; an impulsive thought that pops in the back of his mind like a firecracker; Danny moves without thinking. 

He turns, and throws the knife. The pull of his shoulder, the flick of his elbow, is familiar like a hug. He knows when to let go, and the blade flies through the air in impressive speed, embedding itself into the wall with a hearty, loud thunk. Sinking into the drywall like butter. 

Danny stares at it in shock, he feels relieved — about what? — before he feels the guilt. He scrambles across the kitchen to pull it out, heart racing in his chest at being caught, and prays no one notices the hole it left behind. 

(He runs up the stairs before anyone can find him, food forgotten, and hides the knife beneath his mattress like a guilty murder weapon.)

After that, he leaves the house more. It’s more out of fear of being caught than the desire to leave. But Danny is quickly learning that among all things, he is someone who was dangerous, before he lost his memory. Even with his mind in fractures, he is still dangerous. 

He’s not sure how to feel about that — he thinks he should be scared. He feels a little proud, instead.

—------

Hazel beneath our claws

While we wait for cerulean to cry

Unsettled ticks run through time

Enough for the hunt to go awry

—-----

There’s another thing he learns about himself. That he knows about since he woke up. He knows that he left someone behind. He doesn’t know who, but he knows they must have been close; he’s always looking down and finding himself surprised when the only shadow he sees is his own. 

He thinks that he must have sung to them a lot; he finds himself humming familiar melodies when he’s lost in thought. Lullabies lingering at the tip of his tongue, an instinct to turn and sing them to someone beside him. He can’t remember the lyrics, but his mouth does, it tries to get him to say them when he’s not thinking. He can’t. 

Danny’s found himself humming under his breath more times than he can count, trying to recall whatever it is his mind is trying to claw forward. 

(“That’s a pretty song, Danny.” Jazz tells him at breakfast one day, Danny screws his mouth shut. He hadn’t realized he was humming. “What is it?”) 

(Something mean and possessive rears its head on instinct, uncoiling like a snake from its ball. His shoulders hunch defensively, he bites his cheek to prevent himself from baring his teeth. He doesn’t know what song it is, but it’s not for her. “I don’t know.”)  

He misses his person. Dearly. He knows, the longer he is without them, that they must have been close. Otherwise, he wouldn’t feel like he’s missing a chunk from himself. He wouldn’t be turning to someone who's not there; reaching for a hand that’s missing, birdsong on his tongue, a story to tell. 

A dream haunts him one night. Warm and familiar, he’s holding onto someone smaller than him, they’re tucked into his side like a puzzle piece. He’s humming one of his songs that is always playing in the back of his mind, an unfinished tale of a harpy and a hare. Danny can’t remember their face, not all of it. He remembers green eyes, hair dark like his own, skin brown like his. 

He loves them more than anything else in the world, a fact he knows down to his soul. He loves them so much it fills his heart with sunlight. Danny squeezes them tight, nuzzling into their hair; he makes them laugh. Then, he proudly boasts something. That when he takes something of their father’s, that his person — a sibling? That feels right — will be… the word fades from Danny’s mind before he can make sense of it. 

His person hugs him tight, his… brother? And their mother — a woman whose face he can’t remember either, but who he loves like a limb nonetheless — appears, smiling. Her hands reach for them both, voice calling them, ‘her sons’. There’s ticking in the distance, it sounds like the fastening of chains.

Danny wakes up cold, tears streaming down his face. The details of the dream already fading from his mind like the cold pull of a corpse.   

—-------

Harpy hare

Where have you buried all your children?

Tell me so I say

—-------

When school starts that Fall, Danny joins the sixth grade class, and quickly learns more things about himself. One of those things being that he’s smarter than the rest of his grade, whatever education he had before, it was better than the one he’s getting now. 

Everyone knows he’s adopted right off the bat. He tells them when the teacher forces himself to introduce himself, but it’s not like they needed him to tell them for them to know; he never existed in their little world before now, and the Fentons are pale as they come. Danny is not.

He befriends Sam Manson and Tucker Foley; they ask him about the scars fading up and down his arms, they ask him about the scar carved diagonal across his face.

Danny, as politely as he can, tells them he doesn’t remember. He thought kindness would come second nature to him, his dream burned into his mind where he hugged his brother so sweetly. Apparently, his sweetness is only second nature to people he considers his own. 

(It becomes even more apparent when Dash Baxter tries to bully him later that day, and Danny ruffles like an eagle threatened. His mind whispers, hissy and agitated, sinking like a shadow at his shoulder, several different ways Danny could kill him for talking to him like that, and fifteen more ways he could cripple him.)

(Danny ignores those thoughts, up until Dash Baxter tries to grab him. Then he breaks his nose on the wood of his desk. It’s easy how quickly the rest of his grade sinks him down to the status of social pariah.)

(At least Sam and Tucker still talk to him after that. When Danny goes to the principal’s office later, he wisely doesn’t mention the worse things he could’ve done than break Dash Baxter’s nose.)  

—--------------

It clicks and it clatters in corners and borders

And they will never

Hear me here listen to croons and a calling

I'll tell them all the

Story, the sun, and the swallow, her sorrow

Singing me the tale of the Harpy and the Hare

—-------

More dreams come, of course they do. Each one halfway to forgotten whenever he wakes up, ticking faint in his ears. He is many different ages. He is young, shorter than a table. He is older, holding onto his little brother. He is singing in almost every single one. He is singing to his brother. 

Danny can barely remember the lyrics, he’s begun leaving a journal by his bedside so that it’s the first thing he can write down when he wakes up. He’s a storyteller, he learns. He feels like a historian, trying to piece together a culture long dead and forgotten. 

His most vivid dream-like memory is not a happy one, and for once he’s almost relieved he barely recalls it. He is somewhere that isn’t home, but his mother and brother are there. He is dressed in black, blades keen in his hands. 

They are atop a moving train. They are fleeing something. His brother is struggling to keep up, he is small, and young. It’s beautifully sunny, they are somewhere green and lovely. 

It is a fast dream. 

His brother stumbles on something, and Danny, fast as a whip, snatches him by the back of his shirt and hoists him up to his feet before he can fall. “Watch your feet, habibi.” He murmurs low, a hand on his back. It’s hard to hear, there is wind in their ears.

His brother, face obscured in all but his eyes, which are green as emeralds, nods. 

The dream blurs, but Danny falls behind. His foot catches on air — impossible, it should’ve been, at least. He never trips. — and he lands against the roof with a thud and a grunt. His mother and brother stop, and turn for him. 

The train hits a turn before Danny can get up, and he shouldn’t have, something pulls on him, he swears, but he slips. He can’t find the purchase to pull himself up, cold fear hits him as his nails scrape against the metal. 

His mother and brother’s horrified faces are the last thing he sees before he disappears off the side of the train. 

(The ticking is at its loudest when he wakes up, pounding against his inner skull. He only manages to write down ‘train fall’ in his journal, before he’s flipping over to press his head into his pillow to get the pain to stop.) 

—---  

She can't keep them all safe

They will die and be afraid

Mother, tell me so I say

(Mother, tell me so I say)

—-------

When Danny is fourteen he is still humming songs he can’t remember, his mind still in a broken puzzle. But his room is now decorated with stars and plants in every corner. He has a guitar he keeps in the corner of his room, and he plays the lullabies in his head on the strings over and over again. 

The ectoplasm in the fridge still unsettles him, still reminds him of a past he can’t recall. The knife beneath his mattress has returned to the kitchen — he doesn’t need it. He found a box in the attic last year, it had his name on it, and inside he found familiar, strange clothes, and more weapons than he thought was possible to carry on one person. 

(Even without knowing that the Fentons prefer guns to blades, Danny knows, instinctively, that they were his weapons. He was — was? Is — a dangerous person. He takes the box down to his room to sort through. The weapons all fit into his callused hands almost perfectly — the grooves worn to fit his palm. They’re just a little small.) 

(He tentatively takes a small blade with him to school one day, and feels much more comfortable with it sheathed beneath his shirt. He’s kept it on him ever since, like he’s reunited a lost limb to himself.)   

Danny doesn’t have a name for his person, his little brother, nor does he have a name for his beloved mother. He’s haunted by dreams every few weeks, many of them repeating. He’s ingrained the words he can remember to memory, and the ones he doesn’t, he writes down in his journal. His little brother; Danny calls him a bird, he can’t figure out what kind. His little bird of some kind; when Danny takes something from their father — what, he can’t remember what — then his little brother will be a little bird. 

(He doesn’t have a name for his brother, yet, but he’s calling his birdie in his head. It’s better than nothing.)

—------

Seeker, do you ever come to wonder

If what you're looking for is within where you hold

Will you leave a trail for them to follow a path

You'll soon forget

Home

—---------

When he’s fourteen, Danny dies. It does nothing to fix his fractured memories, much to his consternation. It just confirms something he already knows; that he was someone dangerous, and that he still is. 

When the shock of death has worn off, Danny inspects his ghost in the metal reflection of the closest table. It’s blurry, hard to see, but shock green eyes pierce back at him, green like the portal. Lazarus, Danny’s mind whispers, and he blinks rapidly.

‘Lazarus,’ he mouths to himself. It’s familiar. Sam shows him with her phone what he looks like, joking that he looks like an assassin. Danny doesn’t think she’s that too far off. 

He doesn’t tell her that. He tucks the thought away with the rest of his secrets, and fiddles with the hood gathering at his neck, attached to a cape with torn edges swinging down to his ankles. He pulls it over his shock white hair. It shadows over his face impossibly so, until all you can see are his green-green eyes peering out like a wolf hiding in the brush.

He ends up calling himself Phantom. 

(Maybe now he can start putting lyrics to his lullabies; his memories may not have returned, locked away with the sound of a clock, but the dead can talk. One of them may just have answers.) 

----------

Home is where we are

Home is where you are

Home is where I am

-----------------

Dedicated to @gascansposts for being the one who introduced me to the band Yaelokre, and thus being the whole reason I was inspired to write this in the first place >:] Those lyrics at the line breaks are all from their album Hayfields.

[palmtree-summer]

Nishiki +Nakamori Akina

[b1gwings]

some teens from class today + some traditional daddies i drew last summer and never posted ^_^

[micamicster]

Bruce Springsteen's third album BORN TO RUN as Penguin Classics (inspo): Odilon Redon / Romere Bearden / Max Regot Selling Company / Lewis Hine / Ulpiano Checa / Edgar Degas / Thomas Cole / El Greco

[callixton]

ur telling me the singer/rapper i got attached to in like. ninth grade is the famous pretty boy vampire of my dashboard fame. sorry i actually can’t process this at all what do you mean

[tsukasalover]

This is the exact reason why I hate when people ask to go through my phone. Its always Tsukasa’s fault just remember that.

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

fire and the thud came on my spotify shuffle while me and my sister were listening to music this afternoon, and at the end of it she turns to me and goes “who was that? the lyrics sound like the kind of thing you’d write” and honestly i think it’s one of my favourite unintentional compliments i’ve ever received

[buck2eddie]

buck according to albums: sounds good feels good by 5sos

[hooked-on-elvis]

"If You Don't Come Back" (1973)

Recorded July 21, 1973 at Stax Studios, Memphis · Released on October 1, 1973 · Album: Raised On Rock

MUSICIANS Guitar: James Burton, Reggie Young, Charlie Hodge. Bass: Tommy Cogbill. Drums: Ronnie Tutt, Jerry Carrigan. Piano: Bobby Wood. Organ: Bobby Emmons. Vocals: Kathy Westmoreland, Mary (Jeannie) Greene, Mary Holladay, Ginger Holladay, J.D. Sumner & The Stamps. OVERDUBS Guitar: Dennis Linde

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"If You Don't Come Back" — LYRICS Songwriters: Jerry Leiber/Mike Stoller (Woke up early in the morning) (What did the poor boy find) Well the car was gone and you were gone And I almost lost my mind If you don't come back (if you don't come back) Hum, if you don't come back today (if you don't come back today) You can call up the people at the crazy house And take this crazy man away (He threw himself off a gas stone wall) (He tore his clothes out the door) I ran out on the street in my stocking feet Tell the police I've been robbed If you don't come back (if you don't come back) Hum, if you don't come back today (if you don't come back today) Well you can call up the people at the crazy house And take this crazy man away Mrs. Brown's been talking about me To the people across the street She said (I cooked that boy a pot full of stew, But the poor thing just won't eat) If you don't come back (if you don't come back) Hum, if you don't come back today (if you don't come back today) You can call up the people at the crazy house And take this crazy man away

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

RECORDING SESSION Studio Sessions for RCA. July 20–25 1973: Stax Studios, Memphis On that first night Elvis left the studio after four hours, having recorded absolutely nothing. He arrived late again on the following night, his speech so slurred that he seemed scarcely awake. The sound of his voice on the session tapes makes it painfully evident that he had little interest in recording at all. Freddy Bienstock began by presenting a Leiber and Stoller number, “If You Don’t Come Back,” which he had secured under the new publishing arrangement, and Elvis barely managed to drag himself through five indistinguishable takes before Felton called him in to listen to the results. In the end the ninth take became the sorry-sounding master, devoid of anything like fire or enthusiasm. Excerpt: "Elvis Presley, A Life in Music: The Complete Recording Sessions" by Ernst Jorgensen. Foreword by Peter Guralnick (1998)

Elvis Presley at Stax Studios in Memphis, July 1973.

In order to understand better what was going on in Elvis' life at the time the first Stax recording session was held in July 1973, let's get some facts on his life during that year.

1973 RECORDING SESSIONS (BACKGROUND STORY)

The Aloha From Hawaii concert (January 1973) demanded a lot of energy from Elvis. Once it was over he was very tired due to all the months of preparation for this huge concert to which, for example, he went through an extremely restrictive diet to get in a good shape and, to make matters worse, couldn't get enough rest at night either; but things would get even worse in the following months with a very busy schedule ahead.

Following the Aloha From Hawaii was a four-weeks engagement at the Hilton Hotel in Las Vegas (January 26 - February 23, 1973), to which Elvis missed several performances due to a bad case of laryngitis (he wasn't even supposed to be working, according to doctor's orders). After the Vegas engagement Elvis had a mini tour in April (April 22 - April 30, 1973) when he performed in Arizona, California, Oregon, Washington and Colorado. Not enough, Elvis then had a two-weeks engagement scheduled at the Sahara Tahoe Hotel, Las Vegas (May 4th - May 20th 1973), to which some dates also had their concerts cancelled, allegedly due to the flu and a chest infection, and back on the road once more another mini-tour followed (June 20th - July 3rd 1973), with Elvis visiting cities in Alabama, Georgia, New York, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Missouri, Tennessee, and Oklahoma. Other than demanding a lot of him physically at a moment his health was as delicate as it was, those concerts ended up being emotionally tiring for Elvis as well. Some of those concerts were highly criticized by the press, highlighting that, for example, Elvis had gained thirty pounds, looked puffy and white-faced, besides he was blinking against the stage lights during the shows (due to secondary glaucoma to which he had been diagnosed in March, 1971) and on top of that, the worst for the audience, his voice sounded weak and his performance lacked in enthusiasm. It wasn't the Elvis Presley everyone knew, loved and praised, and knowing about all that criticism must have felt disappointing to Elvis himself.

The origin for all those health problems, apart from physical exhaustion caused by pre-diagnosed health conditions, adding to unhealthy eating habits and not enough rest, was also emotional. Elvis' personal life was not in the best fitting. He was dating Linda Thompson since mid-1972 but in 1973 he was still dealing with the divorce procedures with Priscilla; the heartbreaking part of it all, what could've been affecting Elvis' mind the most, was worrying about what the divorce would cause to his daughter, Lisa. That can be supposed by a bad reaction to a song Elvis would cut at the Stax, "My Boy"; He showed his feelings about that song telling Felton Jarvis that he wanted it to be done in two takes tops. When asked to sing the song for the third time Elvis snapped at Felton (record producer), "I told you to get this goddamn thing in two takes. I can’t sing it no more." Elvis' divorce with Priscilla was only final on October 9, 1974.

As evident, Elvis was dealing with a lot in 1973. His choice of city for a recording session at that time was Memphis because he wasn't feeling specially excited with cutting records at that moment, let alone travelling to get to a studio in another city. The American Sound Studio's producer, Chips Moman, who had worked with Elvis in 1969, was no longer in Memphis, so the Stax and its crew was a fairly good alternative to them. The initial Stax recording session ended up being disappointing- with only seven songs getting a master approved to be released on the next album. With the lack of sufficient material for a new album after the July recording session at Stax, RCA managed to get their mobile-recording truck at Elvis' property for a home recording session at Elvis' home in Palm Spring (September 22-23, 1973) because Elvis was hesitating in going back to the studio one more time. The album Raised on Rock was finished after that home recording session, and it was released the following month (October 1973), but proved to be a failure in sales.

By December 1973 Elvis seemed to be feeling good again, at least good enough to go back to the studio for another recording session at Stax. He was in a better place physically and mentally by then. But as for the first recording session at Stax, that's the background story... things didn't worked that smoothly in that studio at first.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

FURTHER INFO Vegas 1973 engagements (cancelled concerts)

LAS VEGAS HILTON — January 26 - February 23

Elvis was supposed to perform two concerts per night — a Dinner concert at 8:15pm and a Midnight concert at 12:00am) — with an exception for the opening night, with only one evening performance. From January 26 to February 23, 1973 for that Vegas engagement at the Hilton, Elvis performed every single night but the January 31st, with both concerts being cancelled. The other cancelled concerts were exclusively the Midnight concerts, with Elvis performing the dinner concert in those dates. The days the Midnight concert was cancelled were: February 1, February 6 and 7; February 13, 14 and 15.

SAHARA TAHOE — May 4th - May 20th 1973 (ended up sooner, on May 16th)

As for the Sahara Tahoe Hotel engagement (May 4th - May 20th 1973), the agreement was similar in schedule as for the shows at the Hilton — Dinner (in Sahara Tahoe at 10:00pm instead of 8:15pm) and Midnight (12:00am), with the opening night having one evening concert only. On that engagement there was also an additional show ("Mother’s Day" concert) at 3:00am on May 13, apart from the Dinner and Midnight usual concerts prior to this one (which was a benefit concert; the proceeds would go to Lake Tahoe’s Barton Memorial Hospital where Elvis' mother Gladys had once undergone surgery). From a two-weeks engagement, both concerts from May 17 to 20th, 1973 had to be cancelled (eight concerts).

Source: elvisconcerts.com, elvisinfonet.com, graceland.com; "Elvis Presley, A Life in Music: The Complete Recording Sessions" by Ernst Jorgensen.

[octoooo]

Makomo’s album part 14 (Masterlist)

References:

Link to Bunny Weightlifting

[deus-ex-mona]

i miss her…

[puppyeared]

38 and 39 for the ask game!

(Love your art by the way)

38: fav song at the moment?

pawprint panic | party at club bug | love birds

39: youtuber you've been obsessed with and why?

link to scruffy's youtube channel

[seaofreverie]

Success, my dad told me today that he listened to Flood at work, and TWICE at that. Could it be that the TMBG propaganda is also working at last

[theworldisabrokenbonebutitishome]

Kang Yo Han is the walking embodiment of I'm Not Okay (I Promise) and relates to Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge far more than is healthy. In this essay I will-

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

.