#but i sketched this idea the other day just so i wouldnt forget and here we are

[mush-haus]

would you buy his wares be honest

[upagainstthesunset]

Finally got an actual full night's sleep and I had SO many dreams.

First i was in my back yard and it had rained so much all the grass was soggy almost like a bog but not quite. Then i realized there were a bunch of water snakes and i didnt want to step on them but they were everywhere. I kept losing my balance and i thought if i could just get my feet under me again i could get out of here and not hurt these hundreds of snakes. But then there was also a crocodile and it was slowly coming for me and i was legitimately scared. If it was hungry and i couldnt get my balance, there was no way i could get away. Woke up stressed with my heart racing.

Then had a super long dream that i had made some sort of scavenger hunt in my childhood bedroom where there was a sheet of clues and you had to find a number somewhere in the room for each clue. Idk what was meant to happen at the end of the scavenger hunt but it was well received. I think my room kind of dream morphed into a classroom bc i was at my old high school or something.

I think that one kept going and had more to it but i forgot. I know i woke up again though.

Last dream i was at a convention i think. My partner was there and we had to unplug/uninstall some cabinet looking things on different floors of the building. There was talk of the next big trend in office design being a desk drawer that is a whiteboard on the inside bottom. I was like thats stupid, people wont want to store stuff in there bc itll get in the way of where they need to write. Also itd be awkward to write inside of a drawer. But the idea was that it was for notes and ideas that were more secret, so if someone came in your office you wouldnt have to quickly erase everything, you could just shut the drawer.

Then i was outside in a downtown area walking with my partner and joking that i forgot he was a celebrity (hes not even tho irl there is something notable about him). He was at the convention to give a talk and had a big banner over his table that said "celebrity" so we were joking about that bc to me hes just himself and i forget hes got any claim to fame.

At some point i think maybe back in the convention/office building someone was showing me old newpaper photos online of something and my mom was in the background! So i looked up more pics on my phone and saved them to show her later. They were from the 80s when she was younger and she was so pretty (that is true irl).

Okay back to the convention, there was a big group of people all sitting on the floor hanging out and talking. People would take turns standing up and presenting something like an impromptu talent show. One person had brought a new kind of lava lamp that had black water with black blobs in it. Another person did some weird slam poetry but was like very mountain folksy. He kept standing right where i was sitting with his back to the crown on the floor, which was upsetting bc his pants were saggy and his old man butt crack was like not far from my face.

But in the crowd i spotted a sketch comedy group i really liked growing up and mustered the courage to talk to one of them. It was the same person that irl at the last con i went to i got to shake hands with but then was sort of pushed aside by someone else who wanted to meet him. So in the dream i talked to him and he was super nice and funny, and another guy from his group came by and chatted. The others stayed sitting on the floor doing their own thing and heckling whoever was performing (in good nature).

And i think that's it? It felt like id been dreaming for days.

[a-snow-decahedron]

alphys and flowey, with 22!

I'm so sorry for taking so long. Here we go. 22: books (from this prompt list)

This is for Alphys week! -> Day 6: Flowers

(who said it had to be several flowers?)

Crumpled Paper

Words: 1300

Read on AO3:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33809740

The first time he met the royal scientist, it had been during a visit she made to the castle, a day after he had emerged in his fath- Asgore's garden, crying out for help for the first time. She carried a bag, which she dropped the moment the king informed her of his finding. She examined him, checking on his magic levels, and as she worked, her face could barely hide her worries. Through stuttering words Dr. Alphys gave her report: she said he had no SOUL, but besides the fact, he seemed fine. She came by every few days to check his stats, apologizing profusely every time. What for? She couldn't explain herself without stumbling on her words, but he got something about an experiment. But it would be fine, she assured him!

He wasn't fine, he couldn't feel, no matter how much he tried. He was not the same and it wasn't worth it to keep trying.

But then he discovered the real power behind determination. Curiosity led him to various places, and soon he found himself outside of the scientist's laboratory. She hid something, and he was determined to find out.

* * *

"Howdy!"

Alphys was startled by the sudden voice. She was back from a trip to the dump, holding a bag full of cans and metallic wastes. At this time of the day, she didn't expect to find anyone outside the lab.

A flower stood by the door, giving her a toothy smile.

"Howdy, doctor! Have we met before?" The flower snickered and winked, as if there was an inside joke she didn't get.

She recognized the kind of flower on sight, after all, she had worked with them during the last weeks. But just like her other experiments, it seemed determination didn't have the expected effects. She rememebered taking the vessels back to the garden and...

Oh no.

Not THIS too.

She tried forming a sentence. But what could she say? She felt herself start sweating, her breathing getting faster. She swallowed and managed to say "We do not know each o- but you said that we do..." She decided to set for a question. "Do you want to... come in?"

The flower's expression was blank for a moment as if considering his options, then he smiled. "Sure! Get me inside!" Alphys sighed in relief. This shouldn't be difficult, right? They could just... take their time to talk.

After some arrangements, she managed to fit the flower in her bag to carry him and set him in her workbench. His small black eyes examined the room, eagerly looking for something. What it was, Alphys couldn't tell.

She was filled with questions of her own. Dozens of theories were running in her head, but she feared the flower wouldnt be able to answer them. She watched him as he tried to pick up one of the books resting on her desk. They were too heavy to lift.

"Do you... want my help?" She held the book for him, which had a winged hero on the cover. She opened it on a random page, so they could both look at the drawings.

"What does it say?" He pointed at one of the speech bubbles.

"What?" Alphys was distracted looking at the pose one of the main characters, a human with human ears, was making.

"On the book. The handwriting's weird."

"Oh that... I'm not sure. It seems it's a human language, but it's not like the one we speak. I think it's called Japanese. It comes from the land where they make cool things like anime and..." She started going through the list of every little fact she learnt about the land through her TV shows, but the flower interrupted her.

"Why do you have a book you can't read?"

"It's called manga." She was quick to correct. "I'm learning how to read and write! I've been looking for books in the dump that can teach you how."

"Is that what you do as a sicentist?" He raised an eyebrow, which was as white as the rest of his face.

"N-no, but it's something... I do sometimes, when I have the time."

"Cool! Can you teach me?"

"To read Japanese?"

"No, I'll pass, it sounds complicated. My sibling would have liked it. They are such a nerd, always saying weird words."

Would that mean...? Oh no, one animated flower is a thing but more? Alphys would be screwed.

The flower opened his eyes wide at his words and he stuck his tongue out in thoguht, as if he was solving a mental puzzle. Alphys waited, was it the right move to ask questions? Would it scare the flower?

"Ah, my tongue slipped. I guess I'll have to tell you. But later, OK?" A part of Alphys wanted to turn to dust right there, a different part wanted to spit out every question that crossed her mind, but the saner part of her decided it was best to play along. Anything to make this less awkward.

The flower found a solution sooner than her. "Why don't you... teach me how to write? I don't know if I can." He looked down at his vines.

"Yeah, sure. let me grab some paper and pencils." Alphys felt the tension dissipate as they changed topics.

"Do you have color pencils too?"

"Uhm, we'll see what I can get."

Alphys found a box of pencils next to her computer, on top of a pile of paper detailing her blueprint ideas, a few scratched projects and a personal story she was working on. Her handwriting made her the least suitable for the job, but the flower was content with her lessons. They chatted about mundane topics, forgetting their situation for a moment. He was reluctant to tell her his name, and never mentioned the "sibling" again, but both of them seemed at ease.

"Do you wanna... stay here tonight? Or do you need to go to the garden?" He considered his options, then shook his head. Alphys leaned to look at the paper, it seemed her friend grew tired of writing and made a drawing. "What's that?"

"It's me! Well, not me me, but my cooler form!" It showed a winged godlike creature, shooting stars out of his hands. He was surrounded by a rainbow cloud.

"Oh! You drew inspiration from the manga I showed you?"

"Maybe? But this is way better!" He was grinning, proud of his successful creation. It took him some time to get used to grabbing pencils with his vines. Even though he couldn't make small things, his grasp was good enough to make a rough sketch.

"I like it! Give it a name!"

"What would they name it... " He whispered, barely audible. "Ah! I know what."

He took a black marker, and with a strange kind of handwriting and in all uppercase he wrote:

"THE ABSOLUTE GOD OF HYPERDEATH"

For the rest of the timeline, the drawing was put on the fridge with a magnet. He didn't get much information about the scientist that night, and saw less of her with every passing day

When he found out why, he reset. Many timelines went by. The ghost of the drawing was forgotten, but his ability to grab things stayed.

* * *

Alphys walked into the lab, putting on her labcoat over her dress. Her day was eventful, and her confession marked the start of a new time. She was feeling... better? Sure, her confidence had a long way to go, but she could handle it one thing at a time. Her smile dropped when she found a crumpled piece of paper, with a message scribbled with a black marker. It was a strange kind of handwriting, in all uppercase.

It read: "I KNOW WHAT YOU DID"

[azumasoroshi]

okay this is kinda long overdue BUT i have many noumu hawks sketches and i just think they’re kinda neat

first sketch! note that the “BONE WINGS???” never became a reality, but I have entertained the idea in some other wips.

Bone wings are the coolest thing ever man idk what to say

and yeah the boa came from ujiko in the final because i don’t think dabi would have a feather boa hanging around and ujiko is just weird enough for it to be less questionable

the boa has no symbolism i swear its just a replacement for hawks’ fluffy coat

working on the face was. interesting

(this one made me giggle uncontrollably for about five minutes)

the eyes look better here LMAO

the split face was a cool idea, but i ended up not going with it in the end mostly because it looked kinda weird LOL

full outline!

one of my discord members said that hawks looked like he had little t-rex arms and i havent stopped laughing at it since

personally i was aiming for him to be copying dabi’s frankenstein pose, and i think it ended up looking more like the “is he....yknow...” meme so many different interpretations here it seems

the general color scheme! note the second pair of wings added lmfao

his claws look weirder every time i look at them but. these drawings were made in december give me a break

more sketches! these are pretty bad ngl (when noumu hawks has more of an ass than living hawks) but they give off the creepy vibes he was intended to have pretty well i think

it was at this point that i really started to forget that noumu hawks was supposed to have a scar over his eye like in canon, so that got completely omitted from YLMTM unfortunately

it was also at this point that i started drawing the mouth tearing open through noumu hawks’ face all over my schoolwork and my teachers would be like “ayo what the fuck is this” and i wouldnt be able to respond because 1. id have to explain noumu 2. id have to explain hawks 3. id have to explain why hawks was a noumu 4. id have to explain dabihawks and just. no thank you

oh MAN this was a doozy

i can’t recall if this exact scene happened in YLMTM but it’s just noumu hawks protecting dabi and dabi being like nooo

while i was drawing it i was like “this is so cool omg” and then i finished it and i was like “oh hell naw”

this was drawn in march, so not too long ago! i’d like to go back and edit it a bit, but ibispaint crashes my entire tablet every time i try to open it because there’s so many layers, so i’ve resigned myself to never being able to fix it unless i redraw everything, unfortunately.

still pretty proud of those wings though like goddamn

and here we get to the most recent update to noumu hawks’ design! i drew this like two days ago so it’s pretty indicative of my current style hehe

i’m sure i’ll find all the problems with it soon enough but right now i think that looks pretty damn good

i changed up the eyes and claws a bit, and i think they look better now :D

i have many more sketches but most of them are on paper homework and aren’t very good, so that’s all for now lol

anyway if you’re seeing this on your dash and you have no idea what im talking about or what YLMTM is, boy do i have the angsty dabihawks fanfiction for you

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30914087

[tumblunni]

Hmm kinda randomly got an idea for an oc based on dr maddiman, sorta? Just like the vague concept of 'dude researching supernatural thing, accidentally turns into supernatural thing'. Not very developed in personality or plot but i just doodled a neat design for a spoopy magic grandpa and the vagueness in my brain right now is that he'd have that sort of plot. But i guess more of an olden times fantasy story version? I feel like he's in some universe with Majick With A Capital Spelled Wrong and he's one of those Scientists But For Wizard. Lives in a fancy ass tower in a haunted forest or somethin. Also he is old and grandpa. He was researching magical creatures for originally some sort of selfish reason but over time he came to genuinely love the ones he captured as lab experiments and almost immediately started seeing as pets instead. "Mwhahaha i will totally not let sentiment get in the way of my goals!" he says while putting soft blankeys in the monster terrarium and feeding them lil carrots, fluffling their cute earsies~! And his friendship with the monsters really touched his heart because he was always seen as a freak by other humans and didnt have any friends or family, to the point where noone noticed he was gone when someday that house on the hill just turned silent. Because at some point he passed away and didnt even notice, waking up as a ghost and just going back to feeding his lil pets and living out his peaceful strange life. He's not sure why he could suddenly understand their voices but it made him so happy his heart skipped a beat! He just didnt notice that it.. Well, literally did that. He was very old and it was easy to just leave his body behind and never notice. And i think that was the day he really realized that his monster friends had become his reason to live, and decided to stop working on whatever the goal of his research was and just focus on living happily with them. I think possibly he was trying to succeed in some experiment that was said to be impossible, not because he actually cared about it but because he thought it would make him famous and everyone would recognise his genius thus he would Receive Friend. But the real friend was the experiments all along!! So on that day he woke up as a creature of the night, he didnt really notice, and just felt like the weight of his life goal had been lifted, realizing how he'd achieved the real goal long ago and he was searching for the wrong thing all along. How odd that he wouod have this sudden realization for no apparant reason! (He says while floating thru the wall) And now he's just a slightly ditzy spirit watching over the forest with his pals, and maybe one of these days he'll forget that sad old human life completely. He's already forgotten that stupid old lab he used to lock himself up in, he'd not seen the sun for so long that when his spirit floated free the plants had already grown over the door so if he'd actually made this big realization when he was alive he probably wouldnt have been able to get out anyway, whoops! So yeh he just cute ghost gramps who tends a little garden in the grounds of the place he once lived, and sits around happily sketching pictures of birds and cuddling his mini dragon babbys and stuff. If u find him he can sell u these many magical inventions he found somewhere arpund here that were probably made by some old human dude i suppose. And you can check out the ruins of that place that i totally dont remember being there. Wow weird that these diaries are signed by a guy with the same name as me, what are the odds? Not really relevant tho cos his whole quest sounds stupid, how could he not realise it was infinately better to just hug the monster pals? So basically one of those 'apocolyptic diary of a dude who died' things except the ending is happy. Tho a bit melancholy that he didnt have anyone to care about him in life, and now you can be his first human friend. And maybe if he'd met you earlier he wouldnt have had such a tragic death. But at least he's at peace.

Anyway he look like this

A sweet grampelghos

[bronzeflower]

Who The Fuck Writes A Ten-Page Rant?????

Chapter 21: The Rappest Conversation

Also on ao3

It was your self-imposed day off, so you started the day by sleeping until afternoon. After making yourself breakfast and eating it, you played Slime Rancher for about two hours because it was a nice relaxing game that Roxy bought you for Gristmas last year.

Everything was peaceful. Nothing could possibly ruin this.

Oh look. John was pestering you. You hadn't talked to him in while, even though he was your best bro. You guessed both of you have been pretty busy lately.

-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

EB: hey, dave! EB: we haven’t spoken in ages!

TG: yeah man its been entirely too long TG: ive turned to dust while you were gone TG: ive become one with the desert and sand TG: im the sand on the beach that gets stuck inside an oyster TG: and the oyster is like what the hell are you doing here you dumbass motherfucking sand TG: im here to ruin your life oyster TG: thats basically my job TG: why are you doing this you tiny bit of sand TG: i already answered that question TG: okay fine be that way says the oyster TG: ill just turn you into a pearl so that youre no longer stabbing me everywhere TG: and then i was transformed into a dope ass pearl TG: the prettiest goddamn pearl in all the land TG: im turned into one of a pair of earrings that are sold for more that your life is worth TG: im bought by a rich woman looking for jewelry to show off TG: its passed down through the generations until the wealth they had dwindles and runs out TG: so now the earrings are sold for a dollar just to get the money for food that night TG: its a tragic tale TG: anyway TG: how are you doing

EB: dave, did you copy and paste an entire act of a play into this chat?

TG: what no TG: it is all natural and organic typing from scratch going on here TG: absolutely no foul play involved and to even imply such is an insult to my craft

EB: alright, fine! EB: i will not insult your “masterpiece” anymore. EB: if you can even call it that.

TG: oh wow sick burn TG: but like seriously speaking how is your stuff going TG: like the comedy stuff TG: have you yet to release an hour long special containing your hilarious jokes TG: and like half of the time is taken up by people laughing at them so its not even a true hour long special its more like a half hour long special and you didnt even manage to make it through all the material you had prepared TG: you know like you did in school where you accidentally prepared too much for a presentation and then get cut off because your time is up TG: and you still have like an hour and half left of material that youve collected that ended up just being a pile of wasted effort

EB: maybe not to that extreme. EB: :P EB: i haven't gotten my show up on netflix yet, but i am certainly planning on it! EB: watch out for it!

TG: do you still have that one person booing you at a bunch of your shows

EB: yeah, it is getting pretty annoying at this point, but i don't really want to do something like call security to remove someone for booing at my show. EB: that just seems as little bit over kill.

TG: i thought you were going to do a comedy sketch about them

EB: oh yeah! EB: i forgot about that.

TG: who are you jade harley

EB: what! EB: jade is great at remembering things!

TG: shes really not she just has a really fucking good system for making certain she remembers things TG: she has to build a physical barrier to her door so that she doesnt forget her keys TG: and she has so many keys to her house they are literally everywhere

EB: huh. EB: i guess i havent really visited jade in a while, have i?

TG: i would highly recommend going to her place at some point TG: and just hanging out with her in general TG: although youd probably have to plan a whole trip for it TG: just like TG: drop by or whatever next time youre where shes currently living

EB: messaging her might be a little bit more practical.

TG: yeah probably TG: anyway you really should get on writing that sketch about the lady I booing you

EB: yeah probably.

TG: yeah man how else are you going to get back at her TG: also when you finally do perform it please tell me what happened TG: or send me a recording of it TG: jk ill buy the recording TG: i always buy the recordings of your shows TG: but youll have to tell me which recording its in so that i can prepare myself

EB: maybe i won’t tell you which recording it’s in just so you're surprised by it. EB: like a schrodinger’s recording.

TG: does that mean you might be dead in one of them

EB: i hate to tell you this now dave, but i’m actually a ghost.

TG: shit ive been friends with a ghost this whole time thats actually pretty fucking dope TG: how do you do comedy sketches as a ghost TG: with the whole intangible thing TG: also with the people not being able to see you thing TG: wait TG: i wouldnt be able to message you if you were completely intangible TG: you must be a poltergeist or something TG: is there anything i can do to help you pass on

EB: yeah, you have to burn my body. EB: that’s what they do in all of the supernatural movies and shows where there’s a ghost.

TG: alright i am fully prepared to do that TG: i however have absolutely no idea where your grave is

EB: i know where your grave is.

TG: well thats not ominous at all TG: i dont even have a grave

EB: as far as you know.

TG: are you telling me that im dead TG: am i also a ghost

EB: i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner! EB: but yes we’re both ghosts. EB: i was supposed to wait for you to figure it out yourself, but it’s taking so long, so i guess i got a little impatient. EB: :B

TG: yeah but i still dont remember anything about dying or anything like that

EB: maybe you'll remember someday. EB: i’ve got to go right about now though. EB: i compromised my mission, and now i have to go through remedial training.

TG: ill wish you luck

EB: who needs luck when you have skill?

TG: okay then no good luck from me TG: i take it back TG: youve got this handled due to the sheer amount of awesomeness you have

-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

TG: oh no they got you TG: i know i said i didnt wish you good luck but i actually did TG: you cant give back a good luck TG: you can never give back a good luck TG: the blessing is yours now forever and ever TG: or however long you live i guess TG: thats going to take a butt load of time TG: anyway TG: i should probably get going too TG: instead of just having a conversation by myself after you left TG: and like go and have a conversation with someone else TG: maybe with jade TG: i havent talked to jade in a while TG: wonder how her pumpkins are doing TG: i wonder if shes harvested them yet TG: or if its even time for that TG: i swear i do actually listen when she talks about gardening TG: but i dont remember what half the harvest times for a bunch of the vegetables she grows TG: dont tell her that TG: or do TG: she probably already knows TG: shes always had a tendency to know things that other people would have absolutely no clue of knowing about TG: anyway TG: ill pester you again at some point eventually TG: ill go pester jade instead now TG: see ya

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

TG: yo jade how are your pumpkins doing TG: is it about time to harvest them or anything TG: or has that already happened TG: when do people harvest pumpkins again

GG: ive harvested them!

TG: awesome were they tasty

GG: of course they were!!! GG: i made pumpkin pie and roasted pumpkin seeds GG: and then i sold all the leftover pumpkins

TG: yeah what kind of profit did that turn

GG: quite a bit, actually! GG: especially with the fact that pumpkins are basically weeds GG: because they grow back no matter what you do GG: no GG: matter GG: what GG: but people fucking love pumpkins during the fall seasons

TG: yeah everyone goes batshit for that kind of stuff TG: got that pumpkin spice everywhere TG: and colorful trees and sweater weather TG: unless you live in the south TG: then there are just two seasons TG: summer and cooler summer

GG: those were basically the seasons on the island i grew up on too GG: im so glad i get to see snow where i live now!!! GG: i always wanted to play in it growing up!!!

TG: tbh we should coordinate and try to play in the snow together at some point

GG: yes!!! GG: but, no GG: :( GG: itd be way too difficult to coordinate that kind of thing

TG: yeah probably TG: but maybe one day if we happened to be in the same area and it happened to snow TG: we could get together and play in the snow and build snowpeople and snow angles

GG: dont you mean snow angels?

TG: i meant what i said TG: were gonna be drawing angles in the snow TG: forty five degrees sixty degrees one hundred and eighty degrees TG: well have all the angles right there written in the snow because no one can tell us what to do

GG: i still think id rather make snow angels though

TG: fair enough TG: you stick with your boring old snow angels TG: and ill have a fantastic time making all my fucking snow angles

GG: :/ GG: you do that, i guess GG: i still think making snow angels will be more fun!

TG: suit yourself TG: anyway im being messaged by someone else so ive gotta bounce

GG: alrighty, see ya!

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

GC: D4V3

TG: terezi

GC: H4V3 YOU S33N TH1S?? GC: F1L3.COM

TG: well it would seem that im being framed for murder and no one told me

GC: NO GC: 1N C4S3 TH4T H4PP3N3D 1 WOULD S3RV3 4S YOUR PROS3CUT3R

TG: wouldnt you be unable to participate in the trial because you have a bias because were friends

GC: Y3S BUT TH4T 1S B3S1D3 TH3 PO1NT GC: W41T GC: 1S 1T B3S1D3 THE PO1NT OR B3S1D3S TH3 PO1NT??

TG: no idea TG: does it matter

GC: 1 GU3SS NOT GC: JUST LOOK 4T TH3 GODD4MN M3M3

TG: nice

GC: H3H3H3H3H3H3

-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

CG: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

TG: so what stuck itself up your ass

CG: DID TEREZI SEND YOU THAT MEME?

TG: what meme i have no idea what meme your talking about

TG: i dont even know what a meme is TG: you could hear me say that but i pronounced meme as me me TG: because thats how little i know about memes TG: ive never even seen one in my life TG: you dont have any proof that tz showed me the meme that you are talking about like less than five minutes ago about the ten page rant that you sent to complain about my channel

CG: THAT’S REALLY SPECIFIC, AND IT MAKES ME SUSPICIOUS AND PRIVY TO THE IDEA THAT YOU ACTUALLY DO KNOW WHAT A MEME IS.

TG: please spare me i have a family

CG: I WASN’T AWARE THAT YOU HAD KIDS.

TG: youre right i dont have kids TG: not in reality TG: imaginary kids TG: all running around and being great and fantastic and not fucked up at all TG: thats the fucking dream

CG: DAVE, WE’RE NOT HERE TO DISCUSS YOUR INSECURITIES DEALING WITH THE POSSIBILITY OF HAVING KIDS OR WORKING WITH KIDS. CG: WE’RE HERE TO TALK ABOUT THE MEME TEREZI SENT YOU.

TG: why do you even care so much about a meme TG: its a meme and its harmless fun TG: even if it does include a picture of you topless

CG: EXACTLY. CG: I’M GOING TO NEED YOU TO DELETE ANY EVIDENCE OF THAT PICTURE, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU WANT TO KEEP IT.

TG: why would i want to keep it TG: maybe i already deleted it TG: maybe i didnt even save it TG: also why do you want me to delete so bad TG: its not much in the way of blackmail TG: who could possibly use it against you

CG: PEOPLE.

TG: thats specific

CG: I’M NOT REALLY IN THE MOOD FOR GOING INTO TOO MUCH DETAIL ABOUT THIS, SO COULD YOU PLEASE JUST TAKE MY WORD FOR IT AND DELETE THAT PHOTO?

TG: k

CG: REALLY? CG: JUST LIKE THAT?

TG: sure if it really matters to you that much ill make sure to get rid of it TG: you can tell me why at another time TG: i get if its too personal to talk about or whatever TG: sometimes that kind of thing happens TG: there we go TG: deleted photo

CG: THANKS

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

-- arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

AC: :33< *ac prowls up to the unsuspecting crow* AC: :33< *she asks meow the crow is doing!*

TG: *the crow says hes doing well and asks the same of the cat*

AC: :33< im fine! AC: :33< im meowstly just double checking the date and time we agr33d on for tea

TG: yeah im still on that day TG: just cant believe it in like a month and a half TG: seems like an almost unnecessary time to plan in advance

AC: :33< but it is a really meowfurlous tea place! AC: :33< its just a little exclawsive, so youve got to make reservations a bit in advance

TG: yeah i get that but the main question here is the dress code TG: can i show up in my jeans and hoodie or do ive got to pull out the singular suit i have TG: its bright red so i cant exactly wear it to black tie events

AC: :33< it s33ms more like mew should wear brunch attire

TG: khakis and a polo shirt got it

AC: ://< i guess thats brunch attire AC: :33< i would wear something a little nicer though

TG: so more like colorful khakis with a button down shirt that can hold cufflinks

AC: :33< yeah thats s33ms more appropriate AC: :33< mew could always ask kanya~a for advice on what to wear

TG: yeah im probably going to do that TG: also that cat pun in her name that you did was the best think ive heard all day ten out of ten would use again

AC: :33< thank mew! AC: :33< i like to give all meow furends cat pun names! AC: :33< its kind of hard to come up with them for some people though

TG: yeah im not sure how you can make a cat pun from dave TG: its pretty much impossible but if you do manage to do it i will be supremely impressed

AC: :33< meowbe a rhyming thing? AC: :33< like cavedave or something? AC: :33< but that makes you sound like some sort of caveman AC: :((< and thats not really cute

TG: maybe adding a hobby of mine of some sort to my name TG: like rapping TG: like rapnap dave or something TG: cause it sounds kind of like catnap

AC: :33< that certainly is a lot cuter! AC: :33< ill consider it! AC: :33< but ive got to go meow so we can talk later

TG: cool

-- arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

Since you were clearly talking to all your friends today, you might as well see if Aradia’s online as well. You’re pretty sure she was, and since you probably won’t get to contact her for a while, you might as well message her now.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering apocalypseArisen [AA] --

TG: have you finally figured out how im going to die TG: or divined that kind of shit yet TG: saw it in the clouds or something TG: my hot as hell dead body floating in the water staining the fluid and polluting the river and making it muddy with red TG: taking a stabbing and falling and dying before i could ask if it was something i said TG: choking to death, clubbing to death TG: hit through the chest with some white magic TG: bleeding and crying as they take their last breath TG: its all just so horrible and tragic TG: having every single one of these dreams TG: but i think i know that theyre memories TG: had these nightmares since i was a kid TG: always wondered if it was something i did TG: cause they made me scared of clowns swords and puppets TG: made me too scared to watch even the muppets TG: but they’re not just mine cause it’s not always my body TG: lying on the ground looking super fucking shoddy TG: and all i can feel is the oppression and fear TG: of letting go of all we hold dear TG: stabbed with a sword we did abhor TG: all the death and the violence and blood TG: overwhelmed us like a flood TG: but try as we might we had no chance TG: we were always meant to lose this dance TG: alright im done that was a dope ass fucking rap thanks folks for listening to how awesome that was

AA: you will die on the twentieth day of april in the year of 2069 from drug overdose

TG: nice

AA: also your rap was both cool and concerning

TG: yeah im not sure if i actually thought at all about what i just said in that rap TG: so basically i forgot everything that i just wrote

AA: thats the beauty of a messaging platform AA: you can just scroll up and reread what you wrote

TG: im sorry im suddenly unable to read

AA: wow AA: youre really going to do this

TG: yes and i have no regrets TG: hi im jared im nineteen and i never fucking learned how to read

AA: your name is dave

TG: shit TG: caught in the lie TG: what time will i have to spend in jail officer

AA: well since im not a cop AA: none! AA: but im still curious about whatever the hell was going on with that rap

TG: maybe you should respond with the stuff thats bothering you in rap form TG: do a little rap battle TG: but like TG: with feelings and shit TG: you can talk about whats bothering you and then i can elaborate on the fuckery in my rap

AA: alright i dont see why not AA: it will probably help us both AA: my heart and my brains been pulled taught AA: stuck between work and the one that i love AA: cant help my job fits me like a glove AA: but i cant stop thinking about my matesprit AA: how hes gonna face it AA: cause he says he supports me AA: and he says that he agrees AA: with putting my job first and foremost AA: while he sits in one place and holds post AA: i didnt mind too much before AA: we had all i could adore AA: but since he proposed were going to be married AA: i just dont know if that life should be carried

TG: well that sounds like something you should talk about TG: because not doing so might leave you in a drought TG: in your relationship where miscommunications TG: might lead to decimation TG: or more likely just breaking up TG: but you dont want that to burn up TG: so just have a talk with him about your concern TG: and then your love will continue to burn

AA: did you just rhyme up with up

TG: dont judge me im trying to help

AA: your advice was good but i can still judge you for your lack of slam poetry skills

TG: hey ill have you know im the best in the business

AA: must be a very small business

TG: wow TG: i cant believe my own moirail would do this to me

AA: you know i had to do it to em

TG: i hate you and everything that you stand for

AA: likewise AA: aside from that AA: do you want to talk about those dreams you mentioned at the start of this conversation

TG: i will only answer that if you ask me in a rap

AA: what the fuck was up with those dreams AA: you seem to be tearing at the seems AA: with all the death and the dying AA: and it might seems like im lying AA: but ive had those too AA: hit in the face and bid me adieu AA: except im a ghost and dead AA: dont know how but i bled AA: then im a frog for some reason AA: it has something to do with treason AA: then a robot that i hated AA: someones kinks that were stated AA: then i blow up again and again AA: wake up in pajamas the color of cayenne AA: and thats when i know that im alive AA: and i know for a fact that i will thrive

TG: always thought that i was alone in this TG: but i guess im not so now ill remiss TG: on all these nightmares ive had TG: that were all really bad TG: i always thought it was because of my childhood TG: never thought that i would be old enough to get to my knighthood TG: thought i was going to die alone TG: thought they wouldnt even find a bone TG: thought no would care if i was gone TG: always felt like i didnt belong TG: i thought the dreams were a message, an order TG: to finally get rid of the disorder TG: that was me theyd promised id be free TG: but i still desperately wanted to be TG: alive and awake and active and happy TG: excuse me if this starts to get a bit sappy TG: but i wanted love TG: i wanted to be above TG: my bro who so obviously hated me TG: and everyone i know would agree TG: so no matter how much i wanted to die TG: there was always something just keeping me alive TG: a wish or a kiss or a day that gets better TG: a time when i get to open a letter TG: theres something to live for something to survive for TG: going and traveling and taking a tour TG: listening to music when i feel depressed TG: going outside when i feel repressed TG: reminding myself its gonna be alright TG: in order to tell myself not to go towards the light

AA: feeling alive is good

TG: yeah TG: it is TG: thanks for listening

AA: thank you for listening! AA: thats what being moirails is all about AA: listening to each other and doing our best to comfort each other AA: although i guess thats what friendship is about too AA: moirail is more of a formal title

TG: i get that TG: someones messaging me now though so i guess this is where we can end our convo

AA: dont be a stranger!

TG: not planning to be one TG: <>

`AA: <>

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering apocalypseArisen [AA] --

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

TT: Hello.

TG: yes just come up and start a chat using the most generic fucking greeting in the entire goddamn world TG: thats exactly how you start a conversation with someone youve known for years TG: start conversations by calling your friends a bitch like the rest of us

TT: I’m pretty sure I would like to have a little more class than that.

TG: ill bring you down to my level one day

TT: I will do my best to resist going down that low.

TG: listen TG: im pretty sure you dont have to go that far

TT: Wow. TT: Rude.

TG: thats a more appropriate way to talk to your brother

TT: I’ll be certain to use more crass language when greeting you next time I make the decision to start a conversation with you.

TG: anyway what did you want to talk to me about

TT: I would like to invite you to my party celebrating the release of my new book. TT: It takes place in a month at my house.

TG: you mean your big ass mansion

TT: Yes, I suppose that is an apt description of the location where I reside. TT: I suggest you dress formally for the occasion. TT: You can wear the suit that you had recently tailored for you.

TG: oh yeah the one kanaya made that feels like the softest goddamn plush toy in the childrens aisle

TT: Yes, please wear that one.

TG: alrighty sounds good to me

TT: Not going to argue about wearing jeans and a T-shirt instead?

TG: nah TG: not this time at least TG: im kind of excited to wear the one kanaya made anyway TG: especially since its the first suit that i actually kind of like

TT: Well, I look forward to seeing you at my party in a suit. TT: For now, I must go and give a few others personal invitations.

TG: k you do that

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

You proceeded to play videos games for the rest of the day because it was, in fact, your day off. You had to spend some of it by yourself after all.