#but i think that as a standalone drawing it was decent

[clockworkvampyre]

dream blunt rotation

[miraclewoozi]

UNDER THE COLLAR. -l.sm

your unlucky-in-love best friend goes on a date with someone who, by all accounts, should be his perfect person. so... how exactly do you end up being the one who tucks his sorry, drunk ass into bed?

pairing; lee seokmin x gn!reader.  (he calls reader pretty once but that is all<3) content; fluff / some mild angst towards the middle / pining / friends to… still friends but with some ~tension~ and a snuggle? w/c; 4.6k and a smidge. warnings; swearing, alcohol consumption (offscreen), drunkenness, some suggestiveness (MINORS DNI), reader has some hard thoughts, a bit of affectionate touching but nothing deliberately sexual? seok is needy and cuddly (and a terrible flirt). let me know if i've forgotten anything! note; this was originally gonna be part of a mini-series/multi-chap situation but!! i ended up hating the full thing and only being attached to like. two parts of it lol so here we are! there could potentially be a second part to this? if people want it? i don’t know yet! but this kinda just works as it’s own standalone thing anyway i think~ happy sunday <3

The first text comes through just after you finally set your phone down on the bedside table. Your eyes are dry and have started to sting from a long evening staring at screens, your bones feel impossibly heavy, and you think maybe you’re settling down for a semi-decent night’s sleep when you hear the buzz of a notification. A buzz you initially plan to ignore. It can’t be anything that important: who would be trying to reach you at this time of night, anyway? 

You roll away from the device and snuggle down into your pillows, pulling the sleeves of your — his — jumper down over your palms and resting them just in front of your face. This particular garment stopped smelling like Seokmin after the second time it went through your washing machine, but there’s a familiarity in the slightly rough inner lining that makes you want to wear it to sleep in every night, forever. He never liked it when his hoodies were too new, too soft, leaving balls of fluff all over his t-shirts and vests; you don’t know when you started to feel the same way, but you’ve realised recently that you do.

Your eyes flutter closed and your body relaxes, head starting to feel fuzzy in that calm, white-noise, lovely way. You haven’t felt this tired and genuinely sleepy for… months. It’s bliss. 

And then your phone buzzes again. You squeeze your eyes tighter, determined not to lose this warm, comfortable feeling, but your phone vibrates and vibrates and vibrates and with an audible groan, you sit back up, reaching over to see what, exactly, is so damn important at 02:23 in the fucking morning.

Seokmin’s contact name flashes up on the lock screen and you see that there are seven unread messages from him in the space of the last 3 minutes. Instantly, your brows draw together: he’s seldom shied away from a double text, but you’ve never known him to pull a septuple, and you can’t feel but feel a little bit of dread in your stomach as you read through them. 

> seokmin: yn

> seokmin: ynnnnnn

> seokmin: i lied

> seokmin: i didmt go homr yet

> seokmin: can you come get mr

> seokmin: mr

> seokmin: m e

You shoot back a message instantly asking where he is, turning on your bedside lamp and already swinging your legs out from under the covers. You keep hold of your phone in one hand, waiting for it to buzz again to tell you he’s given you his location. With the other, you search for and pull on some sweatpants, sliding into a pair of sneakers. His replies come simultaneously too quickly, and entirely not fast enough.

> seokmin: u knkw the bar in town with the bear statiiue oitside

> seokmin: lol

> seokmin: do you think i ciuld beat thsi bear in s fight???

> y/n: christ. okay, wait inside for me. i’ll be there in 15. 

> y/n: also, no. you couldn’t. x

Your veins feel alive with adrenaline and worry as you grab your keys and head down the stairs to your car. The drive is quiet — you don’t even waste the few seconds it would take to plug into the AUX and pick a playlist, leaving it up to the radio to keep you company on the way. It doesn’t take too long: soon enough, you’re pulling up alongside the infamous bear statue to find your best friend sitting on the curb, propped up against the marble base.

“I thought I told you to wait inside?” you chide, rolling down the passenger side window so you can announce your arrival. It’s like he’s moving in slow-motion, or maybe your words just take an extra few seconds to reach him? Either way, he doesn’t lift his head until a silence has settled between you, and he doesn’t smile until his slightly glazed-over eyes land on your face.

“Y/n!” He cheers, lifting himself off the floor and staggering upright, pushing a hand through his hair. “Hi! Yeah, I know — but look, it was too hot in there. It was so hot. And I didn’t want you to wait-…” Hiccup. “To have to wait for me.” 

He slides into the passenger seat with a contented sigh, a mess of long limbs he can’t quite control, adjusting the vent in front of him so that the cold from your air-con breezes against his flushed cheeks. As he settles, you reach over him, pulling his seatbelt across his chest. 

“I was getting to that,” he whines, pouting his pretty lips at you, and you click the belt in place with a laugh. History tells you that when he’s drunk, Seokmin doesn’t always believe in the power of the seatbelt, among other things, so you think maybe you could be forgiven for not believing him this time.

“Okay, dumbass. Sure you were.”

He reaches down into the passenger footwell for your AUX cord, bumping his head on the dashboard and letting out an exaggerated hiss as he sits back upright. Nonetheless, he plugs his phone in and presses play on his own night-driving playlist, holding the device between both of his hands as you start off towards his place.

“So…” you prompt, because he’s staring blankly out the windscreen with a tiny smile on his lips and you’re concerned that maybe, this time, he has actually managed to drink himself stupid. He rolls his head over to look at you, and fond bliss is written into every line of his face. “What happened?”

He doesn’t say anything for a moment, still just… staring at you as you drive. Staring, even though every detail of you is committed to his memory already. Staring, even though he knows how your eyelashes flutter when you blink. Even though he knows how the muscles in your throat bob as you swallow the saliva on your tongue. Even though he’s sat in your passenger seat enough times to remember exactly how the late-night glow of the street-lamps overhead catch and illuminate the curve of your nose, how they highlight the point of your chin. He knows all this, but he can’t help himself. Staring is… indulgent. So, so indulgent. But he is pretty drunk and he can get away with it when you’re focused on the road — at least, that’s what he tells himself.  

When he does attempt to speak, just as you slow to a stop at a set of traffic lights, the sparkle in his gaze falters. He faces forward again, shoulders rising and slumping in a meek ‘I don’t know’.

“She was… perfect, I think,” he tries to explain, and you glance across to look at him; his lips are both non-existent, pulled between his teeth and he has worry lines creasing up his forehead. With the hand not holding the wheel, you reach over, pressing your fingertips to where his eyebrows have scrunched to try and get him to relax the muscles there. It sort of works, if only because he releases an involuntary breath of a laugh.

“Not perfect,” you gasp, dramatic and teasing even though it stings a little to hear him say that out loud. “I mean, that definitely explains why you were out drinking, alone, three hours after you told me you were heading home.” He turns his head fully away from you, now, letting your hand drop dangerously towards his lap. You pull it back to yourself before it collides with his jeans, clearing your throat. The traffic signal changes to green, and you drive ahead. “I’m kidding. Come on. Talk to me.”

“Doesn’t matter,” he says, despondent, crossing his arms over his chest. You’re not sure you’ve seen him acting like this since you were teenagers. It’s a strange twist away from your usual, very easy-going banter.

“Seok...” You try again. “I won’t stop for nuggets if you don’t tell me.” 

“Don’t stop, then.”

“Seokmin…”

“Don’t-…” It comes out quickly, the vein in the side of his neck popping until he takes a deep breath in and releases it slowly. “Y/n. I’m tired, I just-… I don’t wanna talk about it. Can you please just… take me home?”

He’s still struggling with his words, but he isn’t abrasive in the way he speaks; that’s something you learned about Seokmin very early on in your friendship. He doesn’t raise his voice at you. He doesn’t get deep and gravelly when he’s pissed off. He just… seems to let himself feel things super intensely for a few seconds at a time and then he short-circuits, goes flat. It might be convenient for him, but it gets frustrating for you. Especially when he encourages you to open up to him as much as he does. 

His head is bowed and cradled in his hands when you pull up outside his apartment block, and you unfasten his seatbelt for him which jolts him upright. You stay facing front, though, guilt coursing through your veins at the thought of maybe having pushed him too far. You just want to understand. Why was his date being good such a bad thing?

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles, rubbing his eyes with his fingertips. “I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that.” 

You shake your head. “Don’t be,” you tell him, and he scoffs, but quietly.

“Y/n,” he sighs, his crown falling against the headrest; he reaches over to you, places a hand just above your knee, and you try to ignore how it feels like someone has crashed their car into you from behind. How your heart lurches forwards in your chest. How your adrenaline spikes.

“I mean it. I shouldn’t have kept pushing. I’m sorry.”

He chews this over for a moment, but he doesn’t remove his hand, and you find that maybe you don’t want him to. Not yet, at least.

“Will you help me get up the stairs?”

“Of course I will.”

With one of his arms over your shoulders, your own supporting his waist, the pair of you begin the obnoxiously long ascent up through his building to his apartment. He’s lived here for a year and a half, and you think maybe the elevator has been working… for a total of about a week, since then? God forbid he ever got injured and couldn’t climb six flights just to get himself home. The climb is bad enough as is.

Somewhere around landing number four, Seokmin pulls away from you, mumbling something about having the spins and needing to sit down. You ease him to perch on one of the windowsills, sitting down next to him with your arm still around his hips to keep him balanced on the narrow ledge.

“You should’ve taken me back to your place,” he grumbles, doubling over with his elbows against his knees and his fingers linked behind his neck, taking deep breaths.

“Get your feet flat on the floor. Look at your shoelaces. Breathe slow. It’ll help,” you coo, and he shuffles a little so that he can do exactly that (not without wobbling and almost landing on his face, and he thanks you and your “super strong arms” for keeping him from such a fate). After a few more seconds of deep breathing and grounding, he lifts his head. Crisis averted.

“Are you-… like, a witch, or something?” he asks out of nowhere, and you snort so loudly that your throat hurts. He keeps staring at you, waiting for you to answer. Apparently your laugh wasn’t response enough.

“What are you talking about, Seok?” 

He rolls his eyes at you, as if you should just know. “How did you know how to fix me? It’s like magic.”

“Because I know you, stupid. Come on. Two more flights and I’ll get you into bed.”

“S’that a promise?” he asks, grinning to himself as you haul him back to standing, and he stumbles slightly against you, hands braced on your ribs. Sweating a little, you manoeuvre yourself away from him, landing a gentle, playful hit to his side. 

It doesn’t make your heart flutter, hearing what can only be a drunk rendition of his bedroom voice. It doesn’t. It doesn’t. It doesn’t.

“Save it for your next date with Ms. Perfect, would you?”

“Agh. You’re the worst.”

“I know. Now come on.”

After a few minutes of fumbling through Seokmin’s pockets yourself for his keys (it’s as if he’s forgotten how both hands and pockets work in his now very giggly stupor), apparently brushing every single one of his ticklish spots on the way, you’re inside his apartment and on your knees, untying his shoes for him, easing them off his feet. You don’t think he can be trusted to lean down to do it on his own without breaking something.

Or himself.

“If you go get ready for bed, I’ll bring you some water?” you suggest, sitting back on your heels, smiling up at him. There’s a weight in the gaze he’s looking down at you with, in the way his tongue darts out over his lips, and how his mouth doesn’t fully close after. You tell yourself he’s definitely only looking at you like this because he’s drunk, because you’re helping him — the boy doesn’t know ass from elbow, right now — but there’s no escaping the fact that your stomach drops a little at his intensity.

“Okay,” he strains after a moment, and you stand up and away from him, kicking off your own shoes. He heads in one direction towards his bedroom, and you move in the other towards his kitchen. 

Stop it, you tell yourself, leaning over the sink and splashing cold water from the faucet onto your face. Stop thinking about him like that. He’s your best friend. Stop it.

But… shit, you can’t get those big brown eyes out of your head. The way he looked down at you, the softness of his brows, the heat radiating off him. There’s nothing you can do to stop the way your thighs press together standing in his kitchen, in clothes that— you realise now— are entirely his. The hoodie. The sweatpants you pulled on. They’re an old pair that he let you steal just after your most recent breakup, when you’d stayed on his couch for a week straight just so you didn’t have to look at how ugly and empty your own apartment was. Everything. Even down to the socks.

You thought it was hard enough hearing that he was going out for dinner to your favourite restaurant with someone who wasn’t you; nothing could have prepared you for standing in his kitchen at three in the morning, hot under the collar over five seconds of tipsy eye contact, knowing he’s getting undressed behind the door you’ve been staring at for… minutes, now. Actual minutes. 

Oh, you think, feeling your blood run cold. 

Oh. 

I want him.

More minutes pass as you stew in this information — in the knowledge that you’re fucking desperate for the man who has been there for you through everything important enough to remember, and probably everything you’ve forgotten, too. The boy who took you to all of your school dances and was the perfect date, the perfect gentleman, the perfect partner. The man who has sat next to you in the doctor’s waiting room more times than you can count, waiting for results and sitting outside appointments that he told you that you were brave enough to book. Seokmin, who has been under your nose this entire fucking time — you want him, the man who went for dinner with his dream woman, today, and he said she was perfect. Acid burns the back of your throat as you fight not to run all the way back down to your car.

Fuck. It gets astronomically worse. I love him.

“Y/n?” you hear, and his whiny, gentle voice glides across the apartment like it’s been mounted on a cloud, blown straight into your ears. It floats around in your brain in the most beautiful way, and you think there could be love-hearts in the reflections on your eyes even despite the stress you’re now under. It occurs to you that his faucet is still running, and you still have two empty glasses sitting on the counter. How long has it been? Get it together. 

“Just a second,” you call back. Your voice breaks as you say it and you can hear him fucking giggle from behind the ajar door to his bedroom. The fluttering in your stomach worsens, and by the time you’ve shut off the tap and you’re walking through to him, you’re wondering if it’s possible for people to grow butterfly gardens inside themselves without noticing. No-one has ever made you feel this nervous, before. 

Breathe, you tell yourself as he comes into view, already snuggled down against his pillows with the top of his bare chest and shoulders visible in the low light. 

Fuck. 

This is the last thing you needed.

“Hi,” he greets you, pushing to sit up with eyes softer than the glow of the setting sun. “I missed you.” 

You stand corrected. That is. 

“You’re such a loser.”

You set his glass down on his bedside and crouch next to him. “Did you brush your teeth?” you ask, and his face transforms from a stupid childish pout at being teased to a devastatingly bright grin. 

This running joke you’ve shared between yourselves since your first night on the town together illuminates him, and he nods, proudly, his hair falling down over his face. You reach up to push a few strands away from his eyes, despite yourself.

“Sure did,” he tells you, and you believe him but you raise a brow anyway. He’s so pretty. With his playful smile, tongue held between his teeth, his nose a little scrunched. Fuck, how can anyone be so pretty?

“So if I go check your toothbrush, right now…” His smile turns into a laugh, his head lifts into your lingering touch until his cheek is fully rested in the palm of your hand. Stupidly, you tell yourself that this could mean something. Maybe he wants to feel you more.  

“You could find out another way,” he says, his voice dropping half an octave as his already heavy eyelids blink slowly at you. It’s a good thing you’re already on your knees because that tone could have you sinking to the ground in a split. He pulls his bottom lip between his teeth fleetingly and you think you’re one more line away from melting into the floorboards. 

“You’re so out of it,” you murmur, shaking your head at him. “Did she make you get the oysters? Are you high on aphrodisiacs right now?”

He groans again and rolls onto his back, a hand dramatically coming up to cover his eyes. 

“Stop talking about her,” he whines. “I’m with you. I don’t wanna talk— I don’t wanna think about her right now.”

“Seokmin-…”

“Y/n,” he interrupts, lolling his head to the side, looking at you through impossibly long, dark lashes from between his fingers. “Please.”

You’re not sure what the pull in his voice is in aid of but you force yourself to let it go, pushing yourself up to your feet before you can fall forwards into him.

“I’m gonna head home,” you say, the quiet between you laying thick and heavy against your skin. “Text me when you’re awake tomorrow, okay?”

He contemplates this for a second, frowning; he doesn’t say anything as you start backing towards his bedroom door. Then…

“Please don’t.”

He says it so quietly. So hushed, you think you might have misheard. So delicate, you hold your breath just in case you somehow manage to shatter the moment. 

“Don’t what?” You ask, stopping in your tracks. He breathes deep and props up on one elbow, biting the inside of his cheek.

“Don’t go.”

Glued to the spot, you stare at him. You feel your head tilt to the side without really controlling it, and an eyebrow creeps up your forehead, slowly. 

“I left some lights on in my apartment,” you say feebly, and even though it’s true, a selfish part of you hopes that he’ll still keep trying to talk you around. It won’t take a lot to convince you. It never does. 

“So?” he asks, the duvet slipping just a little further down his upper half, baring more of his chest to you. “Please. I don’t want to be-…”

You swallow, waiting. The cogs in his inebriated brain are surely rotating at a few hundred miles a minute, his eyes almost desperate. Certainly glossy. Absolutely breath-taking.

“I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

Your already fragile resolve snaps under the pressure of his words and you’re moving towards his bed before you can stop yourself. 

“I don’t have anything to sleep in,” you say, offering him one last out if he wants it, but Seokmin just shrugs and peels the duvet back for you to slip in beside him.

“Don’t care,” he mumbles, and you gesture for him to look away so, at the very least, you can shimmy out of his sweatpants. He does, and you do — a few seconds later, with the garment in question folded neatly on the floor by his bed, you’re pulling the sheets over your legs and burying down against his cushions.

His breathing matches yours inhale for exhale and the more you let yourself think about this, the worse you feel even though maybe you shouldn’t. How many times have you drunkenly shared Seokmin’s bed, or how many times has he shared yours? This isn’t new. Even sober, you’ve been curling up together on the couch to watch movies and sleeping with your heads in each other's laps for years. There’s no reason for the guilt that’s burrowing its way deep into your brain, but you can’t seem to get rid of it, no matter how hard you try.

“Y/n?” he asks after a few minutes of you lying stiff as a pair of boards, a few inches of cold mattress between your wide awake selves, both of you staring up at the ceiling. You hum an acknowledgement, and he clears his throat. “Can I hug you?”

Your heart does something you’re a little bit afraid of, but you nod in the dark anyway, before you realise he can’t really see you now all the lights are off.

“Drink some water first,” you tell him lightly. “Then you can.”

There’s something undeniably nerve-wracking about the sound of him obediently swallowing a few mouthfuls from the glass you brought him earlier, even more-so in the way he sets it back down on his dresser. The bed rustles a little as he moves towards you, the sheets shifting over your bare legs, and then he’s got an arm slung over your waist, his head is on the very edge of his pillow, right next to your own… he slides a leg over one of yours, slotting it between your calves, and before you know it, you’re completely wrapped up in him.

He’s warm, and soft, and his fingertips gently soothe circles into your waist where they’ve slipped just underneath the hem of the sweatshirt you’re still wearing. You hum gently, moving your arm so that it snakes beneath his neck, curling up to wrap around his shoulders. This close, you can smell the cologne he will have put on before meeting his date. It makes you dizzy, slows down the neurons firing away in your brain. You wonder what’s going through his own head — what he’s thinking about, being curled up against your side like this. Does he recognise the slight stuttering in your breathing? How cold you are in contrast to him? Will he even remember this, in the morning? Or will you just wake up on opposite sides of the bed tomorrow, all this just a weird, foggy memory in the dark?

His head burrows slightly closer to you and all of a sudden, you can feel him breathing. Every exhale fans against your neck, right where it feels sweetest; Seokmin breathes through his nose when he’s sober, but through his lips when he’s drunk. You’ve never noticed before. It’s maddening. 

“Comfy?” you ask, your voice dry and unsure, and he wriggles a little with a nod to affirm that yes, he is. Something about that makes your cheeks go hot.

“Always sleep better with you,” he murmurs, and your face grows even warmer. You tell yourself he doesn’t mean anything by it. He’s just drunk. It doesn’t help.

“Then sleep,” you say as his hand moves just slightly further up beneath the hoodie, the tips of his fingers gently tickling your lowest rib. You have to fight back a whine. “I’m here. You can sleep.”

“Thank you, y/n,” he breathes, and you turn your head: now your eyes have adjusted to the low light, you can sort of make out his features, so very close to you. This proves to be a mistake almost instantly, but you can’t look away. His eyes are closed now; you’re glad. He looks too sweet. Too peaceful.

“What for?”

“Everything.”

“Seokmin…”

“No, I mean — everything.”

You move your hand up slightly, fingers playing with the strands of his hair at the top of his neck, and he whimpers softly at the touch. You freeze, and he nuzzles back against your hand to beg you to keep going, so you do.

“You can’t thank me for everything,” you tease him, and he chuckles breathlessly, his palm now laying flat across your rib cage, curling around your side. Holding you. Claiming you, just for now.

“Can,” he protests, and you shake your head. 

“Nuh-uh. Against the rules.”

“What rules?”

“My rules.”

“I didn’t know you had rules.”

“I’ve got hundreds,” you tease, threading your fingers through his strands and gently massaging his scalp. Another whine from him, but you don’t stop. Especially not when he hugs you closer, arm and leg both tightening around you.

“Hundreds?”

“Mhm. Maybe even thousands.”

“Well. Fuck.”

You breathe a laugh at him, and he laughs back; within a few seconds, you’ve both dissolved into giggles, and Seokmin has squirmed even closer until he’s half-covering you, actively chortling into your covered collarbone.

“You’re s’posed to be getting to sleep,” you sigh as his own laughter picks back up following a few seconds of deep breathing and quiet.

“I can’t!” He says. You can feel the pout in his own voice, even with his face hidden. When did he end up practically on top of you? When did your arm slip down to around his waist? 

“You have to. You’re gonna feel so shitty tomorrow if you don’t.”

“I know. M’probably gonna feel shitty anyway, though.”

“Come on. Close your eyes. Count back from a hundred. You can do it.”

It falls silent again, and you delusionally tell yourself that maybe it’s working. Until…

“Can you lie on your side?” He asks, and you sigh dramatically but nod anyway: as he peels himself off you, you roll over, facing the wall in the foetal position. He’s right back against you in a blink though, legs tucked up behind yours, trying to find your hand under the quilt.

“S’this okay?” He asks as he accidentally brushes your thigh in his search, fingers lacing through your own when he finally succeeds. Your now joined hands work their way into the hoodie’s front pocket, and everything starts buzzing when he rests his chin on your shoulder.

“Y-yeah,” you swallow. “S’good.”

“Good,” he mumbles. A few deep breaths later, his voice rumbles against your earlobe again. “You looked so pretty for me tonight, y/n. Dressed up in my clothes — you’re so pretty.”

“Go to sleep,” you whimper, grateful at least that at this angle that he doesn’t see how your face scrunches up, how wide your smile is, how ridiculously good he makes you feel.

Euphoria. This is euphoria; you never want it to end.

“Count for me,” he asks, dropping his head down so his brows rest against your back, now. So you do.

“A hundred… ninety nine… ninety eight… ninety seven…”

His breathing is slow and his grip on your hand is slack by the time you reach eighty three. You doze off too, not very far behind.

thank u for reading all the way to the end!! likes, reblogs, comments + feedback are all always appreciated<3

[genericpuff]

Do you think you might ever open up an online shop for prints for people who can’t make it to conventions?

I've been wanting to open one for a while, I had plans to last year but they got shelved for a bit as I still had a lot left to figure out. One of the biggest hurdles I've been sorta kicking down the road is figuring out shipping, as it's never really been my strongest skill LOL Just the logistics of it all is kinda hard on the brain in addition to every other thing I'd have to setup. I know I can do it, it's just trying to get through that mental block of figuring it all out and getting it setup properly.

Other than that, I also have to make sure I have the proper equipment. I have a printer that's pretty decent, but I'm kind of in the market for something that's a bit more ink-friendly as the one I have currently chugs ink like I chug shorty's on a Friday afternoon LOL So I'm weighing my options when it comes to printing as it's a toss-up between "do my own printing so I can print on demand and not have more stock than I need" and "pay someone else to do my printing for me so I don't have to buy printer ink but potentially have to deal with bulk stock that I can't move". And that's not even getting into the manufacturing costs of my other products like my stickers and keychains - that's all stuff that I usually have to order in bulk, so I'd wanna make sure there's enough interest in buying them before I open a shop for them so I don't wind up with a bunch of unsold merch!

Needless to say, running an online shop is complicated and a ton of work! So I wanna make sure if and when I do open one, I do it right in a way that benefits both buyers and myself for the purpose of self-care :' ) I also wanna get out of the funk I'm currently in as creating standalone illustrations has admittedly gotten harder over the past couple years. Drawing comics is no problem because I have direction through the script, drawing illustrations from scratch on a blank canvas suddenly makes my brain short out @.@

But yeah! TL ; DR yes I would LOVE to open up an online shop for the folks who wanna buy my original art! It's in the works and I hope it's something I can bring to you all soon <3 <3

[sequinsmile-x]

ONE SHOTS (I - O)

A list of standalone one shots that do not form part of a series. Please check here for series you might be looking for

I Can't Go Back to Where I Used to Be - This was never what she expected, a life she told herself that she would never get to have, but she was so glad she had it.

Ichor - She can almost feel his desperate touch as she was trying to keep him awake, as if he was trying to press everything into her skin. A lifetime of love and happiness that might just be stolen from them, washed away like the blood down the drain. 

I'll Always Look After You - Emily has the flu and Aaron looks after her.

I'll Go Anywhere With You - Whilst Emily and Aaron are choosing where to go on vacation, one of the suggestions leads her to reveal a part of her past she's never shared with him before.

I'll Work for Your Love - Emily and Aaron take some time to reconnect and spend some time just two of them when life gets a little busy.

In A Sky Full of Stars, I Think I See You - She could live like this, in their quiet, ordinary lives, sitting snuggled with him on this porch swing with their children asleep nearby for 100 years and it would never be enough. Emily reflects on her life with Aaron.

In Bloom - Aaron's birthday takes an unexpected turn.

Inflamed - /ɪnˈfleɪmd/ verb. 1. provoke or intensify strong feelings in someone. 2. cause inflammation in a part of the body. In which Emily gets appendicitis whilst pregnant and Aaron tries to hold it together.

Interwoven - A dark green sweater helps bring Emily and Aaron a little bit closer back together after her return from Paris.

Impossible - It's Emily's first case back at work after Haley's death, but all her focus is on who she has waiting for her back at home.

I Want Your Midnights - The Hotchner's celebrate New Year

Jubilance - [ joo-buh-luhns ] Noun. a feeling or expression of great joy, satisfaction, or triumph; gladness or exultation. In which Emily and Aaron are having a baby, and he immediately gives the game away because of his excellent mood.

Keeper - It's date night, and Emily has food poisoning.

Laced Together - She was trying not to lose her cool with him. Desperately holding back her annoyance because she knew he only meant well, but she felt her control of her emotions fading. AKA the one where Emily is very pregnant and desperately trying not to lose her cool with her overprotective husband.

Landslide - For the first time since she was born this wasn’t something that Emily could fix for her. Her usual approach of scaring off whatever hurt her, bullies and one boy who had come close to being able to break her heart, was not something she could do here. She had to leave it in the hands of the professionals.

Leap of Faith - It's a leap year, so Emily decides to propose. But it's Emily and Aaron, so it's never quite that simple.

Let the Walls Crack - It had always been something she’d thought about, but it was only when she got with Aaron and fell in love with him and his son that she realised a baby was something she could have. That it was something she wanted so much that she ached. But she may have lost her chance.

Like a Light - It's the annual FBI blood draw and Aaron has an adverse reaction to donating. He was never going to live this down.

Linger - Emily was tired, exhausted in a way she hadn't realised was possible. The last time she remembered having a decent night's sleep was the night before she found out Doyle had escaped, when she'd been curled up in Aaron's arms and his love had been enough to keep her safe.

Lives in a Dream - Emily's first night out after having her and Aaron's baby girl.

Lockdown - Date night for Aaron and Emily is ruined by a mysterious package left in the bullpen. All they have to do is get through the night without anyone finding out about them.

Love Drunk - Emily breaks a tooth and Aaron looks after her once she's had it removed.

Love Language - Aaron loves to learn new things about Emily and put that knowledge to use.

Love Like Wildness - Emily helps to prepare dinner on pasta night which, of course, means she hurts herself.

Made of Ashes - Emily knows exactly what drives her to do it, what makes her speak up in a way that she knows Aaron will reprimand her for later if they both made it. Emily could survive a lot of things, she had survived a lot of things, but watching the man she loves getting killed in front of her was not one of them. A Minimal Loss AU

Magic - Aaron, Emily and their children go on the least relaxing vacation of all time.

Maternal Instincts - Emily and Aaron are having a baby. Now they just need to tell Elizabeth.

Melody - Jack has a nightmare and Emily comforts him.

Merit - She thinks she should hate it, that the feminist in her should be screaming at him for protecting her like this. She knows she doesn’t need it, she’s always been more than capable of looking after herself, and she had been for longer than she should have.

She doesn’t need it, but she wants it. AKA the one where Aaron overhears someone being rude to Emily and his protective instincts kick in, even though their relationship is a secret

Metamorphosis - Emily and Aaron's life goes through yet another change.

Mine to Lose - He wasn’t just her husband here, but her boss too. The line blurrier than it had ever been as something in her gut tells her this is a bad idea, her chest constricting with fear.

Mirror Image - He was sure when their daughter was older he’d love her wilfulness, the stubborn streak she’d got from both of them. They were traits that would help her when she needed them, things that had served both him and Emily well. But right now, he really just wanted her to eat her breakfast.

Misdemeanour - /ˌmɪsdɪˈmiːnə/ noun.1. a minor wrongdoing. 2. a non-indictable offence considered to be less serious than a felony AKA the one where Aaron accidentally reveals his and Emily's secret relationship to the team

Mosaic Broken Hearts - Emily and Aaron have been together for months and nobody knows about them. That should make 'pretending' to be a couple to catch an unsub easy, right?

Movie Night - Emily doesn't remember the last time they watched a film that wasn't their daughter's favourite, so Aaron hatches a plan.

My Best Colours - She knew her relationship with her mother wasn’t a typical one, that she wasn’t the sort to sit with her daughter and discuss dresses and entrees before sitting back with tears in her eyes as she watched her little girl dance with her husband. But she’d always expected something.

My Sleepless Night, My Winless Fight - She doesn’t want him to worry, to know that she hadn’t slept at all without him next to her. She worried it was too much too soon, that he’d realise she was more than he wanted to take on.

Never Grow Up - It's time for their son's first haircut, and Emily isn't ready.

New Dawn - It was everything Emily had waited 9 months for.

New Perspective - Aaron feels insecure. Emily shows him he has nothing to be insecure about.

New Ways to be Awed Each Minute - He had always known she was beautiful.

No One Else - Emily and Aaron are on a well deserved vacation before their baby arrives. When someone flirts with her on the beach, Emily refuses to let it ruin the rest of their stay. (Smut)

Noise Pollution - Emily's snoring keeps Aaron awake, but instead of upsetting his very pregnant wife by telling her, he comes up with a solution. And it works. Right up until it doesn't.

Nosedive - It’s only after he’s made the decision to ask Emily out on a date that Aaron realises he’s never done it before.

Oche - She feels pleasantly drunk, the alcohol warming her from the inside out, a buzz thrumming under her skin that made her want him even more than usual. She knows he’s drunk too because of the way he’s looking at her, barely concealed desire in his eyes.

Office Supplies - The only people who don't know Emily and Aaron love each other are Emily and Aaron. Penelope, and Dave, take decisive action.

On the Edge of All This - It was easier to be angry at her than to admit to himself that the reason he’d been so afraid was that he was in love with her.

On the Radio - She could no longer ignore it after New York. She'd fallen in love with him. AKA - the one where being friends with benefits no longer works for either of them

Ours - Aaron, Emily and Jack go to a holiday party at Elizabeth's.

Our Story - Aaron tells a story to try and lull his newborn daughter to sleep. If only his wife would stop interrupting him.

Out of the Mouths of Babes - Aaron loves that their daughter is a mini Emily through and through, although he could do without his four-year-old cursing.

Overtake - It’s her mother that sets her off. Her mother who makes the long-buried grief, something that had been a part of her for longer than it hadn’t, slowly rises back to the surface.

Overture - It’s only when they get level with the picnic tables Jack had told her about that morning, the Capitol building coming into view in the background, that it clicks, when the discomfort she’d felt since they arrived suddenly makes sense. This was where she’d met with Ian.

[arcadiabaytornado]

what are the things you like and the things you dislike about before the storm? please feel free to elaborate as much as you want, i love your essays

Oh this is a fun question! I'll do top five things I like and dislike since the game is a bit of a mixed bag for me! The things I like I love, but the things I don't like really stick out.

Things I Like:

A: Amberprice was my favorite thing to come out of the game. I love the electric dynamic between Rachel and Chloe that was present from the moment they met. It's a great representation of a whirlwind teenage romance and they play really well of each others personalities.

B: As someone who loves analyzing media Rachel is a great character. She has so many nuances and I feel like she's one of those characters five people could interpret in five different ways. She's very complex and I really love her personality. She's the star of every scene she's in. As she should be.

C: Some of the standalone scenes are the best of the franchise in my opinion. Rachel burning down the tree while wind swirls around her, the play that comes off as a proposal, the excitement of discussing leaving their small town and Rachel sealing her promise with a kiss, the dream scenes with William. All of those scenes stand out very vividly to me because of how much I enjoyed them.

More Undercut

D: I liked doing graffiti more than taking photos! I liked the choice about what type of graffiti would you wanted to do like either drawing devil horns on Nathan or a halo on Rachel.

E: I really liked the portrayal of young Chloe! She's jaded and cold, but a lot of her rougher edges haven't come into play yet. Which makes sense as David isn't living with them full time and she hasn't lost Rachel at this point. I think her depression is also written really well. It's never stated outright, but all you have to do is read her journal entries to see her mental health struggles. It's a good confirmation of what we already knew in the first game but wasn't focused on much.

Things I Dislike:

A: I hated everything with Damon so much. It takes a slice of life story and tries to turn it into this a drug dealer conflict which I was not a fan of seeing. Especially because Before The Storm could have had plenty of main conflicts that didn't need him at all. For example, show why Rachel and Chloe never left Arcadia. Was it their parents intervention? Lack of money? Chloe's truck hardly working? One of the girls being unable to commit? All of the above? I find that more interesting then anything with Damon.

B: Rachel is barely in Episode 3. Rachel is the entire draw of the game so why she was regulated to damsel in distress stuck in a hospital bed while Chloe goes to rescue her kidnapped Mother I don't know. I feel like the intention was to show how far Chloe would go for Rachel...but doesn't she already prove that in the first game?

C: Everything with David doesn't really make sense. Before The Storm is a prequal, so why can the game end with David and Chloe on decent circumstances if we've seen how that falls apart in the next game? Like...what happened? It leaves more questions then answers that I don't feel like a prequel should bring up. Personally I think it would've been better for their relationship to degrade during the game so we can draw a conclusion on how things got so bad,

D: No power system. One of my favorite things about Life Is Strange and True Colors is getting to use the powers. I know Chloe couldn't have powers because that would contradict a LOT with the first game, but all I'm saying is Rachel would be a cool protagonist and also she's implied to have some kind of wind and/or fire power.

E: I hated everything they did with Rachel's parents. During the first game the big reason that Rachel and Chloe never left Arcadia Bay is because they didn't have the money to leave. But apparently Rachel's parents are rich? And her Father is so crazily overprotective he kidnaps a women who only wanted to talk to her daughters? But he doesn't care when Rachel goes missing in the first game? Plot holes aside, I also just didn't like James as a person nor did I find him interesting. Which really kills a character for me. So I didn't love him being such a big part of episode 3.

[terrestrialnoob]

Yeah, so, personally, I don't see Fast Forward or Back to the Sewers as a part of the original TMNT 2003 series. I see them as Sequel Series, kinda like how Avatar: The Legend of Korra is the sequel series to Avatar: The Last Aribender.

Not only do FF and BTTS have different titles, literally everything else was changed too. The writers, directors, primary and secondary animation companies were all changed at some point, with only the production company the same and most of the same voice actors, but that was it. That's less than what Legend of Korra had in common with the Last Airbender. And FF and BTTS were intended to be soft reboots to make the 03 series more profitable and palatable. They weren't making enough new marketable designs for toy sales and the dark tone was making the production company nervous (despite the success of the previous seasons).

(That's the important bit, there's only criticism of FF and BTTS after this.)

The FF and BTTS seasons were extremely fundamentally different: literally having different foundations in style, characterization, and storytelling. Though, the FF designs were really good for the adaptions to more computer animation, unfortunately the characters started their descent into "technically still in character", and there were parts that were actually pretty good, if it had been written by slightly more capable writers. BTTS was when everything really went to shit.

The main series was formatted so that there would be three to five episode arcs with zero-to-two standalone episodes in between. But FF started with two vague overarching story-lines that loosely held the season together with decent pacing towards the resolution of those overarching story-lines with one-off character stories breaking them up and giving us about 60/40 "Oh, that was actually a good character interaction" / "He would not fucking say that". It was really always on the edge of being good, but never actually getting to it. And I might actually put TMNT Fast Forward as a standalone series on par with the quality of the 2012 series.

FF had some pretty interesting ideas the writers just didn't do anything with or were forced to drop. Sho'kanabo was basically the Rise Kraang, just with the major weakness of sunlight disinfecting his victims. He was proper terrifying, infecting, taking over, and controlling his victims. He also made evil clones of the turtles who were like, amazing characters and had so much potential! They were so cool! And Zix was an interesting character concept, a smuggler with grey morality who helped just as much as he harmed? If only he was actually well written, and actually was grey and did just as much good as he did bad instead of just being a bad guy who said "sorry :(" sometimes.

Back To The Sewers on the other hand, was fully bad. Every part individually was bad, there is no evidence anyone working on BTTS had any passion for it whatsoever, which means management unequivocally failed at every turn. The designs were actually bad, the animation was stilted and unnatural, the plot was nonsense, most of the dialog was also nonsense to match, the writing was some of the laziest I've ever seen in the entire franchise, one (or more) character was out of character at least once in every episode, and the villains weren't serious threats (The Shredder got taken out by Mikey on his own. Speaking of... Mikey got a ton more screen time, but he also like, absorbed everyone else's character traits depending on what the plot needed? Like, I think they discovered that Mikey was the audience favorite and just made him the center of the episode no matter if it made sense or not). And on top of that, just like the 87 series, they just had to introduce a new toy or accessory design into every episode, which can be fine - unless there's nothing there to distract from it, no good writing, or animation, or characters draw your attention away from the commercial inside the show. It's so bad.

[chaifootsteps]

Same anon as before— I couldn’t stop thinking about Halloween Ends, got pissed, and now I’m making it everyone else’s problem. Halloween Ends felt like David Gordon Green heard all the complaints from the critics who hated Halloween Kills for “just being a film about Michael killing everybody”, ignored the fans who liked it for what it was, and then shat out a movie made for everyone BUT THE ACTUAL FANS OF THE FRANCHISE. I’ll admit, I can’t really comment on the actual quality of the film because I was blinded by rage the whole time, but if it is somehow a good film, it is by no means a good Halloween film. A passable stand-alone, maybe, an okay if not forgettable slasher flic, sure, but an even halfway decent Halloween film it is not. It feels like it was made for people who weren’t already familiar with Halloween, who didn’t care about Michael in the slightest, rather than the people who do. And then you have Halloween Kills. Like, okay. I’ll admit Halloween Kills wasn’t… the best. The script was shaky at best and the hospital scenes were bleh. But when it delivered, holy SHIT did it deliver. It was always destined to be awkward since it was the known middle child of the trilogy, so it spent time on the kills, the MAIN DRAWING POINT OF THE MOVIE. The firefighters, the mob, all the hapless unfortunately souls who happened to become trapped in his path? Every one of those scenes was so fucking good. Was it really that impossible to have Halloween Ends be just… like that???

Also, if your “main antagonist” can get beat up by four band kids even without their instruments (or, get beat up by the person who got beat up by four bands kids, DESPITE being perfectly able to take on an angry mob the film prior), then you know you have a shit antagonist. 

This, this, this, every word of this. Halloween Ends was an okay standalone horror flick, maybe even a meh-to-passable Halloween movie completely unattached to the trilogy. But as a follow-up to 2018 and Kills, the conclusion of Michael and Laurie's story that started when they were little 17 and 21 year-old babies and is now coming to an end on Halloween night, it's a fucking disgrace. It's simply not the same story, the same characters, or the same setup.

Even worse, it shamelessly advertised itself something it wasn't to get butts in seats, and then David Gordon Green had the gall to go "Teehee, not sorry we subverted your expectations, this was always meant to be a love story!" I think that's the part that burns me most of all even now, four months later. They borderline scammed the entire fandom and then blamed the fandom for it.

[garak]

How do you like. Start reading comics. How do you know where to start when there's so so many years of comics

for me i started in what is largely considered a very bad way by reading batman the new 52 as it was coming out, which you should not do. i think the best way to get into superhero comics (which is what i assume youre asking about) is to start with a character you already know you like & look around for what people say are some good STANDALONE keyword standalone comics about/involving them (for example, if you wanted to get into batman i would suggest starting with batman year one & the long halloween). the great thing is if you dont like the characterization or style of that comic you can wipe it from your mind and read something by someone else because there are so many different iterations of comic characters that you can always find one you like better. i suggest reading at least some of the original run involving whatever character you like because often the golden & silver age versions of characters are funnier and it allows you to bitch and moan about people not staying "true" to the original character, which i love to do with batman & the joker. at some point you'll find what kind of comics you really like, what writers/eras/verses click with you, and often youll find side characters you like as well. one of the great things about there being so many comics is theres always something else to read as well, and often "side" characters will have their own solo stories & different iterations.

this is probably not a very useful guide but the most important thing is to not be discouraged by the volume of content and how much of it kind of sucks. you can often find decent guides just by looking up "where do i start with xyz franchise" or "best xyz character standalone stories", but dont be surprised if the nerds out there lead you in the wrong direction to something thats actually lame, & a good artstyle can often make up for mediocre writing, so pay attention to who draws the ones you like. and of course dont forget to HAVE FUN and remember comics are yours to make of them what you will. it is your world and the dc writing room is just living in it

[adultswim2021]

Lucy, the Daughter of the Devil #8: “The Special Fathers vs. the Vampire Altar Boys” | October 22, 2007 - 12:15AM | S01E08

I admire when a TV show does an episode that breaks from it’s formula, generally speaking. But when a TV show you despise does it almost feels embarrassing, like you’re accidentally witnessed something you’re not supposed to see.

I guess it’s somewhat comparable to the time in fifth grade when my mom scheduled a dentist appointment during a school day, which made me a couple hours late to school. By happenstance that day wound up being the day we were doing sex ed. They combined two classes and split the boys from each class into one room and the girls from each class into another. Coincidentally the girls got to stay in what would have been my home room. So when I walked in I was met with about 40 girls all yelling at me to get out. That’s sorta like this, except imagine the girls-only sex ed instructor is Loren Bouchard on a DVD audio commentary pompously explaining how he felt it was important to break the formula of the show for this episode, and the fifth grade girls that are yelling at me to get out are just different fifth grade girls, but wearing all black.

To finish that story: when the boy’s class was over the instructor told us we were welcome to stay after and ask more questions if we wanted. My friends and I actually took her up on that. We were the “obviously have seen porn” kids, and we asked some slightly more advanced questions then what was presented to us in class. I remember this afternoon fondly, but I wonder if we were usurping the time meant for the molested children among us to come get some help. Oh well. Best not to think about it too much. The folly of youth!!!

Speaking of getting molested: This one is a standalone Lucy-less story about the Special Fathers being called to address a growing problem of vampiric choir boys in various churches. It actually starts off with an attempted molestation by a priest on an alter boy getting shut down by said alter boy actually growing fangs and drinking the blood of said priest. 

The Special Fathers are brought in and briefed on the matter at hand. We are treated to a little cutesy chalkboard drawing animation describing how to kill a vampire and explaining which myths are from movies and are bogus. One of the fathers points out that most modern movies also include similar lines to “forget what you’ve seen in movies”, which is a decently funny observation. I also liked the little exchange about how one of the Vatican scientists has a captive vampire for purely vain reasons (to best a friend who has a pet snake). Also mildly funny. 

Another bit I sorta like is when the tenacious Eugene Mirman nun is being drained of her blood while shackled to the cross. She refuses to die, and keeps spitefully making mundane conversation. She winds up getting rescued by the priests who charge in with a big inflatable mattress on top of a truck. That’s the other thing: the church discovered that crosses have no effect on these vampires, but they are terrified of balloons. 

I don’t like this show, but I’d call this one of the stronger episodes. Nothing made me laugh out loud, but there are some ideas I thought were decently amusing. The story moves quickly and then it’s over. That 23 minutes went by fast! Wait? 23 minutes? That can’t be right.

Okay, it isn’t right. BUT: If you watch this on HBOMax right now, the episode appears to be double-length. That’s because they uploaded it without editing the master, which includes a superfluous copy of the episode tacked onto the end with no text. So you can make your fan edit of this episode replacing all the credits with comic sans font.

MAIL BAG

There was a cool goth-ish girl at my high school who used to wear a Home Movies shirt all the time. I wonder if she ever saw or was even aware of Lucy. Anyway, I wonder if loren was jealous of all the goth puss jackson & doc probably pulled in

Loren would kill to smell even Dino’s finger’s (which yielded a 1 in 5 chance there’d be man juice on there)

Reading that last robot chicken review made me go “wow they used to have a girl ninja turtle named Venus” out loud to the friend I was calling which then piqued our curiosity enough for us to look at a bunch of low resolution pictures of her and try to figure out if she had nipples or not. She didn’t but it really looks like she does sometimes. She didn’t though. It was just a trick of the eye. It was just a trick.

They are calling this maybe one of the worst tricks ever pulled, in my mouth

[jaegertango]

Alright, Dawntrail is done. Let's do a spoiler summary. Don't read any of this even if you're mostly through the game.

TL:DR Summary: Overall, it's a solid 8/10. It's absolutely worth.

I wouldn't say it's my favorite expansion, but I'd argue it was better than Stormblood and Heavensward. For a brand new story to be told, I think it tells something standalone decently, though hell if I know how it'll go from here on out. After that whole schtick with Zoraal Ja, I can confidently say I wasn't expecting it to go the Souls Currency Direction.

Any of my nitpicks with the story are pretty small. They're things that wouldn't change the story on the whole, but feel irritating enough to have to scratch. Things like "why is Gulool Ja the one who has to put the earring on the display?" There was no sense of the Everkeep accepting his dying words as command, and it seemed like a halfhearted attempt to make it seem like he had some kind of care for the child that five minutes previously he slashed an image of in half. Let him be a desperate bastard, it's fine. It's just little things like that, stuff that really doesn't effect the story if it just played out the first way, but feels thrown in just for the twist. My biggest annoyance is the repetitive dialogue. No, not that it's boring - that it repeats a plot point ten minutes later, and then sometimes does it again another ten minutes later. Things like the explanation of the regulators, Cahciua's entire deal as an Endless, even Gulool Ja clearly being a blue-hued Hoobigo. It felt like the story was trodding along at this weirdly echoing pace, as if I wasn't paying attention the first time. I've never really felt the story do that before, and it's not a pleasant thing to notice. The story will sometimes refuse to let the player draw their own obvious conclusions, and then proudly explain the answer not much longer after the plot point has been brought up.

As for Wuk Lamat, I don't see a problem with her. Yes, she's the main protagonist of Dawntrail - perhaps the most main protagonist to ever be the face of an expansion. But, I don't know how the story could work without her either. I'm not about to try and be the Dawnservant, and trying to pass off my own power as the accomplishments of Wuk Lamat is pretty fuckin' cheesy. Granted, I don't like that I was forced to backseat a tickle more than I'd like - but this was also supposed to be Haha Vacation Time for the WoL. So really, that's fine. She's a shonen protagonist and I find that shit endearing. The Power of Friendship, as it turns out, works completely fine in the game that literally defeated the End of Everything with that kind of asspull.

This was probably just as much a Krile expansion as it was a Wuk Lamat one. I think it's good she finally got some background set up for her, and it's good that she doesn't have to be delegated to just being useful Echo companion when the WoL is elsewhere. That being said, outside of backstory elements on finding out the truth to her grandfather and herself, she didn't really... stand out to me in any meaningful way. She's inquisitive, sure - but she's Sharlayan, that's just a pre-requisite. Overall, I'm glad she had her parts - but my feelings for her have really not changed much, though it's definitely a net-positive.

Sir Otis Velona was the most Soulsborne NPC to ever exist in a FFXIV game. Easily my favorite.

Solution Nine is easily my favorite part of the expansion - but I really wish I had no idea of its existence before I had seen it. While I had forgotten about Heritage Found by the time I had shown up in it, I've remembered the Arcadion from the very first promo images of Dawntrail. I know that's the raid area, and therefore Square needed to show what it was gonna be, but I sincerely wish I hadn't known anything whatsoever about it. I would've been even more blown away by this Cowboys vs Aliens plot if I never considered the concept of it. This is, again, another nitpick, because I still super love the city, the utter disregard for the human soul (in the cyberpunk city, get it) and frankly, the queen who'd burn the universe if it meant saving her gaol of a haven. Sphene was... I'm fine with her as the penultimate boss of Dawntrail. The woman who'd do anything to not only save her people, but make them at their utmost happiest and insist on no negatives in their lives IS a fascinating ploy. As compared to Meteion, who couldn't understand why the universe was so full of pain, Sphene being the person who tried to completely disregard the cycle of life makes for a really good follow-up, even if Square said Dawntrail was a whole new journey.

Combat-wise, as with all expansions, I've definitely had to step back and pay more attention to what the fuck is going on. I'm sure hoping after months of grinding this shit I'll be fine, but my god was some of this content absolutely clowning on me. The final trial was certainly good, but sheesh. That's a lot of crap going on.

I'm sure I'll think of more shit to rant about at some point as I remember it - I could probably find something to get angry about with Bakool Ja Ja having such a massive 180 in character once it was time for him to not be the Enemy anymore - but I still don't really know my thoughts on that. Same with the whole Yesterland Disneyland knockoff in Living Memory, or the much more casual language at play in some dialogue - but that's one thing at a time.

Anyway, it's fun. But I would've also been content just to see more Alisaie regardless.

[jessi-arts]

It's funny to me, I saw this post at the beginning of highschool and I was like "Omg!! I'm starting highschool so I'll use a pic from begining of Jr. High lol!" And I'm finally a senior in highschool now, officially able to do this correctly and oh boy is there improvement

This was the drawing from the middle school one. Done on Paint shop Pro because I was too scared to download an actual art program or spend money on one. I didn't have a tablet at the time and my sister gave me her hold Wacom drawing pad. Btw, the Psp version I used was literally from the 80's. My mom had it installed and told me that it was the Same as photoshop. Shading is horrible, I used the smudge tool but did not blend it out properly lol, and it also smudged the lineart because I couldn't comprehend layers (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀). Hand is like.. huh??? And anatomy is questionable at best lol. I'm actually surprised I used a different sized pen in this though, I used to hell-bent on using only one size of pen, but I went WAYYY to small and the facial details are so pixelated with the small brush. I also didn't know how to draw backgrounds, so it was again, poorly smudged colors next to eachother.

This was the drawing I made my freshman year. Certainly a little better!!! I learned how to draw smooth lines at least lol. Anatomy's a little better too, and I learned how to somewhat draw hands. However, I did not know proper size proportions and the feet are uneven and the hands are so small. No sense of posing, I used to just wing it back then lol, no references, all from my head. I think the eye style here is pretty interesting, they look upside down!!! Meaningless shading, still. And the shading overall just looks bad, I used the eyedropper tool and desaturated the color, then proceeded to use the smudge tool everywhere. I also only used thin lines because I hated how thick lines looked at the time. I heard so many people talk about line weight and depth and I just refused to listen, telling myself that you could only use one size of pen, and all the lines have to stay consistent in size. Oh! I also had a tablet at this point and used Autodesk sketchbook because it was free lol. I actually kind of started grasping backgrounds?? Most of the time it was just clouds but it was better than nothing lol.

And finally, my art now. There's uh.. definitely a huge difference. Learned line depth and absolutely adore using thick lines lol. Switched programs again !! I now use procreate. I actually learned how to draw hands somewhat, sometimes hands just don't wanna hand, but I can at least make them look decent. I know how to pose characters and use references all the time now. I've also started drawing backgrounds and settings rather than just standalone characters with no personality or depth.

[jcmarchi]

Is The PlayStation Portal Worth A Purchase?

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/is-the-playstation-portal-worth-a-purchase/

Is The PlayStation Portal Worth A Purchase?

Today marks the release of the PlayStation Portal, Sony’s $200 remote player specifically built to accommodate players looking to enjoy their existing PS5 console and its library of games at home but while away from your main gaming display.

By any measure, the PlayStation Portal is a very targeted and specific-use product, and it’s worth clarifying out of the gate: This is not a standalone console in any way. Rather, the Portal allows you to connect to a PS5 you already have in your home over your Wi-Fi network (or any Wi-Fi network) and play the games you have downloaded on that PS5 from other places around your home. You can also connect the Portal to other WiFi networks outside of your home, though our testing found inconsistent results when doing so. Irregardless of where you connect from, remote play of this nature is not a new capability. For some time, you’ve been able to use existing devices like a smartphone to do the same, and if you have chosen to invest in a good connected controller interface (we’ve previously recommended the Backbone), you can already do much of what the Portal is offering.

So, who is this product for, exactly? And why might it be worth a buy?

[embedded content]

The first part of that answer lies in the high quality of the hardware found within Sony’s new remote player, which may be a draw for many users. Many have noted the unusual appearance of the device, with its disconnected controller arms and squared-off screen. But in hand, it feels durable and comfortable. The textured grips feel good, and it has a satisfying but not overly heavy weight – think something just a bit heavier than a Nintendo Switch.

Unlike with connected controllers on a phone, the Portal retains the features that made the DualSense controller so celebrated at the PS5’s launch, including haptic feedback and adaptive triggers, and it’s great to feel those still present while playing.

The biggest selling point is undoubtedly the large 8-inch touch-display screen. The 1080p LCD display looks great in action, with sharp colors and deep blacks, though it’s worth noting that it looks best in dimmer spaces. Any way you cut it, the display is a step up in size from connecting your phone for remote play.

Running over home Wi-Fi, I found the Portal experience relatively seamless. Every user’s experience may vary depending on the strength of your network, but I found even when moving around to different rooms in the house, I didn’t run into significant lag, and the connection only dropped when I moved out of the range of my Wi-Fi.

The included speakers are perfectly adequate, but like many portable play options, your best bet is going to be to connect a decent set of headphones.

The PlayStation Portal, pictured alongside the new wireless Pulse earbuds, which connect easily to the remote player

The second part of the answer about who this product is targeting is about how you engage with games in your home. For a small segment of players, it’s likely to have the high potential to get you playing more frequently and with greater ease.

If you share your primary gaming display with other members of the family who might be watching or playing something else, the Portal puts you exactly one power button-press away from getting back to your favorite PS5 game. And while I’m not going to be the person to recommend you play games in bed before going to sleep (it’s pretty bad for your rest), the Portal absolutely allows for that. I even enjoyed a session of Spider-Man 2 while sitting in my backyard – albeit while I remained within Wi-Fi range.

A lesser-discussed aspect of the Portal’s capabilities is around multiplayer engagement. I was able to continue a co-op session of TMNT: Shredder’s Revenge with a family member who was playing in the living room, while I monitored pots in the kitchen to make sure dinner wasn’t boiling over. The two of us were playing on different screens, but we were able to keep the game going while I needed to physically be in a separate space. By extension, you can also think about the Portal as one additional controller to add to your DualSense stable. It’s perfectly capable of acting in that capacity, even if you’re actually staring at the TV instead of the included screen. Of course, that use case is only a small added benefit – not a reason to pay $200 for a second controller.

The gaming world has been actively moving toward increased mobile options in recent years, and it’s likely that you may already be on that journey. Whether you play a lot of mobile games, check out Nintendo titles on your Switch, or you’ve made the jump to a portable PC like the Steam Deck or one of its competitors, there are now plenty of ways to experience quality gaming away from your TV or monitor.

The PlayStation Portal is less expensive than many of those options, but it has to be, since it’s presuming you’ve already spent the money on a PS5 as the actual system to play on. If you already have a robust library of PS5 games, but it’s sometimes been hard to sit down in front of the TV for a play session, the Portal should have a lot to offer. That appeal might be especially high for busy parents, people in a home with only one TV, or those who prefer playing on a smaller portable screen.

If that’s not you, I’d encourage holding off on a purchase of the Portal. It’s not built as some sort of revelatory new way to engage with PlayStation games. However, for someone who likes the idea of enjoying gameplay wherever you might be in the house, the Portal is the best way I’ve encountered to do that, providing an experience that is very close to what you’d get gaming directly on your PS5 console.

[truetgirl]

"Getting to know you better" tag game.

Tagged by @zeroraiser (who could just ask me any of this on discord or in person and/or already knows these things but hey where's the fun in that)

What book are you currently reading?

I'm halfway through Inkmistress, but it's been a year or more since I ADHD'd out on that so I'll probably need to restart it. More immediately, got back into Lumberjanes recently, and I've been finishing the latter half of the series from where I left off before (around about vol. 9 or 10). Currently on vol. 18, still got the standalone graphic novels to read as well.

What do you usually wear?

Comfy t-shirts, sweatpants, hoodies, and more recently I've been loving mixing skirts into my wardrobe.

How tall are you?

I am 6'4" and I have been since I was 15 or 16. One time, in like my junior year of high school, I went to see my mother at the middle school where she taught at the time and one of my old teachers flagged me down in the hall to ask who I was substituting for. The look on her face what I told her I was there to see my mom and pointed to her door was priceless.

What's your star sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or historical event?

Pisces. Apparently I was born on the same day that Queen Elizabeth I was excommunicated by Pope Pious V.

Do you go by your full name or a nickname?

Full name mostly, Kelly's pretty short, sweet, and to the point, but my closer friends call me Kel a lot and specifically @preciousanalogheart calls me Kells.

Did you grow up to be what you wanted to be as a kid?

Not as of yet, no. Who knows, perhaps someday I'll get back in shape and then become a firefighter after all.

What's something you're good at vs something you're bad at?

I like to think I'm pretty decent at writing, and I particularly enjoy dialogue and introspection.

I am most certainly not the best at time management. Like, seriously, every time I try to keep myself to a schedule I end up chronically late.

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favorite picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this year?

This is actually a sneak peak at something that will definitely not be out till next year, probably sometime around March or April if all goes well, but I still wrote it this year:

"She wept for him. She wept for the man she had known, for the brother she had fought beside, for who he could have been, who he had been, and wh she knew he could never be again."

Dogs or cats?

Every time someone tries to make me choose one over the other, a hostage dies.

What's something you'd like to create content for?

Comics. By which I do not just mean superhero stuff, though that's admittedly no small part of it.

What's something you're currently obsessed with?

Been back on the X-Men train lately.

What's something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

I am honestly worried my HRT isn't doing much of anything at this point.

What's a hidden talent of yours?

I'm actually pretty damn good at strategy/resource management games, but it doesn't always come across because I prioritize things that are fun, flavorful, interesting, etc... over pure efficiency.

What's something you wish to have at this moment?

My girlfriend to cuddle with (they are visiting but I am presently at work).

Tagging: @strawberry-crocodile @breya-etherium-shaper @strawberry-bundae

No pressure, just some fun if ya feel like it.

[roxyandelsewhere]

SPN moments but abstract [10/?] - Stanford era Sam

[havecourage-darling]

Firsts: Jealousy & Gigs

AO3 link || Part 5 of 12 (each chapter is a standalone)

<< First Song || The First Time >>

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Female Henderson!Reader

wc: 9.2K (I-...I don't know how this happened tbh. I'm not even sorry.)

warnings: insecurity, jealousy, some implied sexual content in this one kids, because lol it’s Eddie so when is it ever not? TW: negative language in reference to a woman, it's only one line and we move on quickly.

Lengthy A/N at the end*

November 1987

Your entire body felt like it was on fire as Eddie’s hand slipped under your shirt. He pulled you closer to him, his teeth nipping your skin at edge of your t-shirt. You bit back a groan and tightened your hold on him, his cotton t-shirt scrunching into your grip.

“When you invited me to watch you practice, oh,” you sounded breathless, your voice getting high pitched as his hand inched its way to your chest. “I didn’t know it was code for making out in Gareth’s garage.”

“It wasn’t,” he said between sloppy kisses, “I do have rehearsal.”

“Then why am I here?”

You watched the curve of his smile tilt up higher. “Because I know it turns you on to watch me play,” he said into your ear, huffing a laugh when he noticed your shiver.

“Well, that’s just cruel then,” you teased back, leaning away in his lap.

“Feel free to get back at me.” Eddie’s eyebrows waggled at you, his eyes lighting up. You smiled, happy to see some of his recent stress dissipate. Reaching out to touch his hair, you watched him start to talk about the upcoming gig.

You’d been to many of them over the last year. At this point, you were practically an expert in helping the guys load their equipment into Eddie’s van. They had steadily been gaining a following, you were quick to remind everyone it was because they’d grown popular on your campus, and were starting to play at bars where you needed to purchase tickets. They were finally being paid – which was huge for them. They weren’t selling out, yet, but the crowds were a decent size. It was exciting that there was even anything considering a crowd at all. However, because of midterms, you hadn’t been able to go to any of the bigger gigs yet.

Eddie was talking about the stage at this bar, a first for them, and how the speakers were some of the newer technologies they’d worked with. His eyes lit up as he spoke, his brows disappearing into his hair and his tone was passionate. You loved watching him talk about his music, he looked so enthusiastic and excited. “We’re switching up the set this time,” he said, the hand on your back drawing small circles into your skin. “Jeff wants to make sure we’ve got it down before Friday.”

“I’m sure you’ll get it right,” you said, meaning it. At his answering smile, you couldn’t help but lean down to bite softly at his neck -- loving the goosebumps that you left in your wake.

“Aw, Eddie, come on,” Jeff groaned, walking up to the garage. “I just ate guys.”

You grinned, winking at him and feeling Eddie’s palm keeping you in his lap. “Hi guys,” you said, waving to the rest of the band.

“Henderson,” Gareth greeted, bumping your fist as he made his way to the drums.

“Wait, I thought you were inside?” You said, looking around.

“He went to pick up Jeff and Liam,” Eddie said, his hands inching their way down your waist. You smacked his hand and he groaned. “You guys have impeccable timing.”

Jeff snorted, setting up his guitar and mic stand. “You would think that after two years you’d both be a little more subtle.”

Eddie’s mouth curved upwards, pride flashing across his eyes, and his expression turned mischievous. “You would think so,” Eddie said, eyes turning towards you. He leaned in, smile twisting, “yet I still find myself always ravenous. Your spell is still intact, princess.”

You bit back a laugh and squeezed his shoulders underneath your hands. “Should you, you know?” You asked, smacking another one of his wandering hands.

“Continue to feel up my girlfriend?” He asked, eyes hopeful.

You sighed. “Go set up Munson,” you said, climbing off him and settling onto the sofa comfortably.

Eddie pouted but at your narrowed eyed look, joined the guys in setting up. You pulled out your notebook and hummed along to the first cover they started to play. Tapping your pen along to the beat, you found your eyes darting over to Eddie. He hadn’t been entirely wrong when he said you loved watching him play.

He always did background vocals and lead guitar but there was something about the way he played that made you want to pull him into a dark corner. It didn’t help that usually they were all keyed up after a performance, energy bouncing off the walls, and Eddie was always more than happy to disappear off with you.

Your eyes made their way back to him and you smiled when you saw him already looking. He winked, a stupid smug look in his eyes and you pointedly returned your focus to your notebook.

After a few songs, the guys took a break. You watched Gareth pull Eddie aside, ducking his head close and quietly talking about something.

Closing your book, you raised a brow when Eddie sauntered over to you. “Princess, love of my life, owner of my heart,” he said, bowing, and dropping into the empty seat to your left.

“Munson,” you said, suspicious, dropping your legs into his lap. His hand automatically reached out for you, his hands running up your calves.

“So, we need you to go,” he said.

“What?” You blinked, not expecting that.

Eddie winced. “We need to practice in private, you know, band stuff.”

“And the open-aired garage is private?” You asked, glancing back to Gareth – who was pointedly not looking at you.

“We need to practice a new song,” he said, looking pleased at his own excuse.

 “I’ve heard all your new songs,” you reminded him. He’d asked you to look over them the second he’d finished writing them.

“It’s a cover,” Jeff interjected.

“Then I’ve probably heard it too.”

“Princess,” Eddie sighed, “just do me a solid and go please?”

“You made me drive all the way over to this side of town to sit through your rehearsal. Now, about five songs in, you want me to scram?”

Eddie avoided your stare and sighed. “Please?”

You knew Eddie like the back of your hand and something was off. It couldn’t be anything too serious, so you wouldn’t push. That did not mean you were going to let him off easily.

“It’ll cost you,” you said crossing your arms.

His eyes flashed, interested, and he nodded. “Name your price.” You knew his mind was going into the metaphorical dark corner by the way his eyes strayed down to your cleavage but you had something else in mind.

“Halloween party at Harrington’s.”

Eddie dropped his head back and groaned loudly. Gareth raised his brows. “Ballsy Henderson.”

“It’s why he likes me,” you said, reaching across the table and kissing him soundly. You leaned into ear. “If you go with me, in costumes, I promise to finish what we started almost three years ago under those bleachers.”

Eddie’s expression turned heated and you watched the beam of his smile. He licked his bottom lip and you waited as he contemplated it. “As if I could say no to you, warrior princess,” he said, sighing.

“You love it,” you answered, kissing him again. Eddie wrapped his arm around your neck, keeping you place. Letting yourself have the moment, you leaned into his touch. Biting lightly down on his lip, he stiffened before almost bending you over onto the table in retaliation.

“For the love of – keep in your pants guys!” Jeff said, a crumpled piece of paper bouncing off your leg. You stepped back, catching your breath, laughing at Gareth and Liam’s wrinkled noses and waved.

“Alright, alright, I’m off!” You turned to Eddie. “I love you, see you later?” You’d never get tired of seeing Eddie’s eyes light up. His entire face brightened, as if he couldn’t help it, and he beamed.

Eddie surged forward, kissing your cheek. “I love you too,” he said, squeezing your hand. “I’ll pick you up for dinner?”

“Sure,” you said, walking out the garage and out to your car. You tried to stall, wanting to see what they were up to. When Gareth came out to glare at you, you laughed, flipping him off and starting towards your house.  

///////

“Have I mentioned how I excited I am?” You said, bouncing in your seat – partly from excitement and partly due to the fact that it was the end of fall and you were definitely not dressed appropriately. You’d ransacked Robin’s closet and in combination with your own wardrobe, you’d come up with what you had both deemed as an appropriate rocker outfit for the night.

You still weren’t too sure about it, but by the way Eddie’s eyes had lit up when he picked you up, you knew it had been a success. Despite your new boots, or your new jewelry, Eddie’s attention had predictably gone to your short skirt.

Eddie laughed, warming you further. “You have, princess. Have I mentioned how much I like what you’re wearing?” His hand came down to your bare thigh and you smacked it away before it could climb up higher. Grumbling, he shook his adorned hand like the drama queen he was.

“There are children present,” you said warningly, eyes going to the rest of the band riding in the back.

“We’re used to it!” Gareth laughed. “I think Eddie only has two brain cells, one for music and one for you.”

“That’s not assuring!” You called back. “You’re more than just a pretty face, sweetheart.”

Eddie snorted at your tone and you grinned. “You fell for my looks, don’t deny it.”

“Who’s denying?” You laughed when he shot you a look. “Hey, but seriously, I’m sorry this is the first one I’ve come to.”

“And I’ve told you, I understand. I saw your midterm review, it scared even me,” he said, glancing at you. “The guys are kind of pissed though.”

“Sorry guys!” You called out.

“We’re still mad!” Jeff said, pretending to turn away from you. You grinned and turned back to the front.

“So, when can I see your set list?” You asked, used to being the one who helped organize their set and paperwork for gigs. At the answering silence, you frowned. “Okay, that wasn’t suspicious at all.”

“I’ve got it Henderson,” Liam said, his head popping out between you and Eddie. “Don’t worry, we want you to enjoy your first real show.”

Eddie nodded - his excited energy contagious. “I want you to sit back and watch for once, enjoy the show. Your boyfriend’s an actual musician now,” he said, pride seeping into the words.

“You were always a musician,” you said, smiling when he shot you a grateful look.

“Well, I’m a paid one now,” he said, laughing when the guys cheered from the back.

“Yeah, it’s also kind of messed up to make your girlfriend work during a gig anyway,” Jeff added, snorting when Eddie shot him a death glare.

“I offered,” you reminded him, squeezing his knee.

He huffed, turning into the back alley of the place and parking the van.

“I’ll go make sure they’re ready so we can unpack,” you said, unbuckling your seatbelt. The guys all hopped out the back, talking about possibly switching to a different key and how much they were being paid. You moved to follow them when Eddie’s hand stopped you.

“No good luck kiss?” He asked.

You smirked. “Aren’t those given right before you perform?”

“Apologies your highness, I wasn’t aware there were formalities to follow,” he bowed his head, eyes twinkling.

With a big dramatic sigh, you leaned down and kissed him. His tongue came out to lick your bottom lip and you resisted the urge to nip at him. “You’re going to be late,” you warned him, kissing the base of his neck.

“I can live with that,” he mumbled, hand sliding up your skirt.

“You guys! Seriously!?” Liam exclaimed.

Eddie grumbled and you laughed. “We’re coming!” You glanced down at Eddie and immediately went to wipe your lipstick stain off his lips. He licked your index finger, eyes flashing and you shook your head. “You’re going to get us in trouble.”

“Since when did you get scared off by a little trouble?” He teased.

“Gareth is scary when he’s mad,” you whispered, smiling and reaching to wipe the mark on his neck. Eddie leaned away from your hand and you pointed to the faintly visible red smudge. “You’ve got some on your neck.”

“Leave it,” he said, eyes darkening. “I want it on me when I’m up there.”

You felt a current light up the air between you and you closed your eyes. “Eddie Munson.”

“Yes, beloved?”

“Behave.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” He smirked, smacking your ass before hopping out the car. You inhaled deeply and shook your head. He was going to be the death of you one day.

///////

“Henderson!”

You whirled towards the voice and smiled when you saw a waving Angelina. “Here she is!” Sienna said, hugging you when you sat down.

“I’m so glad you guys could come! They’re a little nervous,” you said, glancing around in awe at the crowded bar.

“I’m glad we made it! Carlos and Farrah said they were coming by later. They went to the first two at the other bar and said that it was great! I was worried we wouldn’t get tickets,” Angelina said, leaning into Sienna’s touch. “The guy at the front said they were full tonight.”

Holy shit.

“I’m so excited for them,” you said, giddy. “This attention happened so fast and I haven’t been able to come to one so it’s new for me! I’m usually watching from a nearly empty bar or from a booth.” You watched as a group of girls pushed their way to the front of the stage, their fluffed hair trembling as they jumped in excitement. The guys had ushered you out, knowing that your friends were going to be saving you a seat.

“You haven’t been to one recently?” Sienna asked, leaning in to hear you over the noise.

“She’s been stuck in Hanson’s midterms,” Angelina explained, having been there to help you cram as much as you could this past week.

Sienna winced. “His exams are brutal,” she said, smiling in sympathy, “but you made it! That deserves a round of drinks!”

You were about to tell her not to bother but Eddie’s words rang through your head.

I want you to sit back and watch for once, enjoy the show. Your boyfriend’s an actual musician now.

“Yeah, fuck it, why not? Shots!” You exclaimed.

Angelina’s brows raised but her smile was teasing. “Oh no, party Henderson has entered the bar.”

“Damn right!” Sienna cheered. “First round is on me!”

You watched as Angelina kissed Sienna before she disappeared towards the bar in the back.

“So,” you said, nudging her, “how’s the first month been?”

“Amazing,” Angelina said, head dropping into her hands. “I hate that I’m sort of waiting for the other shoe to drop but it’s been so, so great.”

You laughed at your friend, her smile and wide gaze on her girlfriend. “It’s the honeymoon period, there’s no other shoe to drop now! Just enjoy it.”

Angelina laughed. “That’s easy for you to say, it’s been years and you’re both still in the honeymoon phase?”

You sputtered, not expecting her teasing. “I-well, no,” you coughed, “our anniversary was two months ago.”

Angelina rolled her eyes and snorted. “Oh, right, sorry for the inaccuracy. It’s not at all like he looks at you like you hung the moon.”

Your skin felt warm and you tried not to pick at your nails, knowing Angelina would just tease you further.

“She looks at you like that too you know,” you said, bumping her shoulder softly. Angelina glanced back at the bar where Sienna was making her way back carefully.

“I’m just worried I’m not enough; you know?” Angelina sighed. “She’s pre-law and is doing all this exciting stuff. What if I’m too boring?”

Your heart went out to her. Angelina had liked Sienna for a while – since freshman year – and you knew that her introversion was a sore spot for her; at least when in comparison to Sienna’s outgoing personality.

“You’re not boring,” you insisted, “being an introvert and being boring are two different things. I’m an introvert!”

Angelina shot you a look and you smacked her shoulder. “I’m kidding!” She huffed. “You’re the cool girl with her cool metalhead boyfriend. How are you boring?”

You rolled your eyes. “No pity parties tonight! You’re amazing and if she doesn’t see that then you deserve better. Even though, I know for a fact that you could turn into a hermit and she’d still like you.”

“Thanks,” she said, bumping your shoulder with her own, leaning her head onto it.

“Jeez, the guy wasn’t joking – almost everyone from school is here,” Sienna said, huffing as she sat back down. “What are you guys talking about?”

“Nothing,” Angelina said quickly, shooting you a look, hand reaching for the clear liquid. “Let’s toast – to Corroded Coffin!”

“To kicking midterms week’s ass!” Sienna shouted.

You laughed, throwing the burning liquid down and slamming into the wooden table. You winced as it went down, anything but smooth, and watched as the lights dimmed throughout the bar. The stage lights lit up and your boys started with their popular opening cover.

Back in black

I hit the sack

I've been too long, I'm glad to be back

Sienna grinned, standing up in her chair, waving her hands in the air. A few other followed her lead, screaming along with the lyrics. You were awed, is this what you had missed? People singing along with them? Holy shit, this was amazing!

They played an original song next, most of the girls at the front singing along with the lyrics and you felt your eyes water.

“Are you okay?” Angelina asked, having to all but shout near your ear. You nodded, feeling silly, and fanned your face.

“This is what they wanted, what they were chasing, you know?” You said. You knew it wasn’t a large crowd, it wasn’t an official venue, it wasn’t even hundreds of dollars that they were getting paid but – people knew their original songs. People had paid to get in and listen. There were couples and girls and people dancing along to their performance. “They deserve it.”

“It’ll get bigger from here,” Angelina said, teasing. “I’ll need to start bringing tissues with me.”

You rolled your eyes and shoved her. You heard the familiar notes of KISS come through the speakers and watched Eddie flip his hair back, the faintest red lip stain still visible on his neck. You grinned.

Tonight, I want to give it all to you

In the darkness, there's so much I want to do

He’d started playing the cover at the beginning and everyone said it was good luck. You, however, knew he was just being a sap. Still, you climbed onto your chair alongside Sienna and watched as you caught his eye. Grinning, he harmonized into the mic, winking when it was his turn for the guitar solo.  

“We’re only a few minutes late and Henderson and Jones are already drunk and on chairs?” A voice called out.

You glanced down to see a smiling Farrah, one of your classmates, and her boyfriend Carlos. “They sound amazing!” She shouted over the music.

“I love this song!” Sienna said, wiggling too much for the precarious balance you knew she had. Angelina reached out to steady the chair, her other hand on yours.

You cheered as the song ended, collapsing back into your chair, a little out of breath.

“Someone’s excited,” Carlos said, giving you a half-hug hello.

“Someone’s looking amazing,” Farrah interjected, eyeing your skirt, “like they’re going to get laid.”

Feeling your skin heat up, you glared at her and Angelina laughed. “Oh please, save it for people who don’t know you two.”

“Seriously, you look so cute!” Farrah said. “Where’d you get those shoes?”

“With Robin at the mall earlier today,” you lifted a leg out from under the table and grinned. “They cost a little too much but hey, every once in a while, is okay right?”

Carlos snorted. “You’re talking to the wrong person.”

Farrah rolled her eyes. “I needed those earrings babe!”

You laughed, remembering Farrah’s affinity for jewelry. They both started to bicker while you tried to hail a waitress. “Anyone want some food to soak up the vodka?”

“Ugh, please,” Sienna groaned, rattling off a few appetizers. You went to the bar for another round of drinks and avoided wandering hands expertly.

You couldn’t help but be in awe at the fact that they were playing at a place that needed security! A few months ago, you’d been trying to get them a reoccurring slot on Thursdays for free. You had been their security, always shutting down any hecklers.

Laughing with your friends, singing along to the music, and a lot more rounds later, you felt the energy surge again. Checking the time, you were amazed to realize it’d been a few hours.

“Hey everyone,” Eddie’s voice echoed in the bar. Sienna and Angelina whistled loudly, piercing through the cheering. Carlos and Farrah joined them, cheering and jumping up and down. Eddie managed to flick his eyes towards your rambunctious table and grinned. “I hope you don’t mind me taking the lead on this one.”

The crowd cheered louder and you shook your head, smiling. What was he doing? Eddie never sang lead.

“We’ve never covered this song before and it’s a little out of our range but, it reminds me of my favorite person. So, this one’s for her,” he said, stepping back and adjusting the strap on his guitar.

“Oooh,” your friends teased, bumping your shoulder and elbowing your sides. You rolled your eyes and smacked their hands away. Eddie smiled in your direction, his grin blinding. You felt a few eyes whirl around to stare at your table but you barely noticed.

“One, two, three,” Gareth said and with the first notes, you felt your heart leap out of your chest.

He wouldn’t – he wouldn’t have.

“Can you hear me calling, out your name?” he sang, closing his eyes, bopping his head to the beat. “You know that I'm falling, and I don't know what to say.”

“Son of a bitch,” you mumbled, fighting the urge to swoon.

“Isn’t this your song?” Angelina asked, laughing when Sienna starting drunkenly singing loudly along.

It was. The beat was a little faster, his voice giving it an edge, but that was it. That’s what he wanted to practice on without you yesterday you realized. The stupid butterflies in your stomach fluttered around like they were on a rollercoaster. 

“Oh, I,” Eddie opened his eyes as he dragged out the word, his gaze in your direction. “I want to be with you everywhere.”

“Yeah,” you breathed, you couldn’t move your eyes off of him. “It is.”

Eddie winked, the smooth bastard knew what he was doing to you, coming back up to the mic. “Something's happening, happening to me. My friends say I'm acting peculiarly.” He grinned, almost as if unable to stop himself. Your hand went up to your heart and you felt like you could explode with love for him. He pointed at you, his guitar slipping. “You better make it soon, before you break my heart.”

“Holy shit,” Sienna said, shaking her head, “Munson’s got game.”

You grinned, shaking your head. Standing, you balanced yourself on the table and watched him lose himself in the song. He looked at home up there, as the lead singer. His voice wasn’t as big or flashy as Jeff’s but it was beautiful. He took a step back to focus on his guitar, his eyes coming up to you again. You didn’t know if he could see you clearly from this far away but, you felt the room around you disappear and your heart was dancing along to the beat.

“I wanna be with you everywhere.”

As the song finished and Gareth started the new chorus to the song they always saved for last, you watched Eddie return to his original spot.

“Well, if you don’t marry him I will,” Angelina said, shrugging, “because even I can admit that was cute as hell.”

“You never sing me anything,” Farrah said, turning to Carlos who was clapping. He laughed, tugging her into his arms and eyed you all.

“Baby, if I sung, you’d leave me so quick I wouldn’t have time to be heartbroken,” he joked.

You all laughed. “That’s true,” Farrah said, sipping on her beer.

As the last song ended, the whole room seemed to erupt into cheers. You clapped and watched them wave a bit before disappearing out through the side door. The decent sized crowd by the stage dispersed, people spreading out in every direction. You stood, waiting for one of them to come through the door.

“Hey,” the familiar security guy from earlier called out to you, scaring you a little.

“Hi?” You said, unsure, glancing at the door for Eddie.

“Sorry,” he smiled at you. “Tell your boys that we can help them pack up in an hour, they’re the van parked around back, right?”

“Yes,” you straightened, thinking of how much easier that would be, “that would be amazing, thank you!”

“No problem, they sounded great. You didn’t hear this from me but, I’m pretty sure they can become regulars here if they gain enough momentum,” he leaned in, “in a few weeks, renegotiate the pay and call the manager’s bluff. I can tell he liked them too.”

You reached out to bump his fist. “Thanks man, I appreciate it.”

“Sure. I’ll come find you backstage in a few, okay?”

Wild hair caught your eye and you smiled when you realized Eddie had come out with Gareth. They were speaking to a group of girls, all of them dressed in leather jackets and ripped jeans. Two of them waved, and you watched him as Eddie grinned, a silly, wide grin that you wanted to memorize and carry with you everywhere. You went to walk towards him when you saw the last girl lean in and put her hand on his forearm.

Frozen, you watched him throw his head back and laugh. A genuine, silly, stomach fluttering laugh. A weird, sharp feeling sucker punched you in the chest and you suddenly wanted to pull her by her perfectly permed hair.

“Whoa, who the fuck is that?” Angelina said, coming up next to you, a new beer in her hand.

“I don’t know,” you mumbled, feeling your shoulders tense.

“Hey, wait, no,” she huffed, “that’s probably just some fan. A few of them hung around them at the last show I went to also.”

What? You both watched as she ripped a pink flyer off the wall and jotted down something before handing it to him.

“Or some skank who doesn’t realize he’s not interested,” Angelina scowled.

“Did he just take the paper?” You asked Angelina, hand squeezing her wrist. She winced but you barely noticed.

“Um, I can’t see from here,” she said, tone uncertain. “It doesn’t matter, she’s not the one he dedicated a song to. You are. You can’t possibly believe he’d care for a second.”

“Right,” you said faintly. An ugly, new, feeling reared its ugly head and you suddenly felt unsure.

“Hey, you’re his girlfriend and I doubt he knows other women exist,” Angelina said. “Look, he looks like he’s searching for you. Don’t let some random girl intimidate you. Go, go!”

With a push, you stumbled over to Eddie, eyes watching the girl saunter off as you got closer. Her hips swung and even you couldn’t take your eyes off her retreating figure. You whirled around to look at Eddie but he was focused on talking to Gareth. By the time you squeezed between the last table, he was standing there alone.

“Hey!” He beamed and you felt horrible for making this about you. How ego-centric could you be?

“Hey!” You forced yourself to smile and wrapped your arms around his waist. “That was amazing Eddie, you all sounded the best I’ve ever heard you!”

“Thank you, thank you,” he bowed dramatically and you felt the smallest bit of tension bleed out. “Did you like it?”

“The set? Of course!”

He rolled his eyes. “The song, our song. I had to alter it a bit to fit our style a little but…”

“It was perfect,” you said, shooting him a genuine smile. “I can’t believe you actually sang in front of so many people.”

“I know!” He said, putting a hand up to his forehead. “Was I horrible?”

“What?” You shouted, smacking his shoulder. “You were great! It was sweet. I’ve always told you that you sing well. You always pretend to be shy about it. No, of course not, I’m just a guitarist.”

“I don’t sound like that,” he said dryly, amusement simmering under the surface.

“I’m an amazing impressionist.”

“Sure, you are princess.”

You laughed, not able to keep up the pretense. “Where’s everyone else?”

“They’re saying hi to their friends that came out, which reminds me, was that Sienna I heard screaming?” He asked, looking over your shoulder.

“Yeah, come on, they wanted to say hi,” you said leading him back to your table.

They all accosted him the second you got close enough. You smiled at his pleased expression and watched him talk animatedly with the group. As you sat by him, your eyes drifted over to Angelina and startled when you saw her already staring back at you.

She shot you a knowing look and the sharp feeling in your stomach crawled back up your chest.

You glanced at his hands, neither hand carrying the slip of pink paper. Frowning, you barely felt the arm he tossed around your shoulders. Had he slipped it into his pocket? Had he thrown it out? Was it weird to ask? Ugh. You were happy, and so proud that his band was gaining the well-deserved attention but – you’d completely disregarded the fact that a lot of that attention would be female.

You trusted Eddie - with your life. You knew without a shred of a doubt that he’d never do anything to hurt you – not willingly. But… this was the first time you’d felt the furious stab of jealousy. He was clearly not single but you knew that wouldn’t stop other girls from staring or, clearly, offering their numbers.

Feeling unsteady and unsure you turned your head when Eddie ducked for a kiss. He frowned lightly, his eyes searching yours. Avoiding his look, you stepped out of his arms and pointed to the bathroom. He nodded and you felt his eyes on you as you made your way to the other side of the bar. Once inside a stall, you leaned against the door and rubbed a hand down your face.

You were being stupid. Eddie knew you weren’t like those girls – not cool like them. You didn’t smoke, you rarely took a drag from his joints, and you definitely didn’t own a leather jacket – not unless his counted. You glanced down at the outfit you’d been proud of earlier in the night and sighed. Did it look like you were trying too hard? Robin said that the skirt and silver chains looked pretty – sexy even. But…did it compare to the authenticity of the girls in the crowd?

Who cared anyways, you scowled at yourself.

Clearly you do, the voice inside your head whispered.

“Holy shit, they’re good,” a high-pitched voice said by the sinks. You smiled to yourself. Hell yeah they were!

“The drummer is cute,” a second voice said, “I gave him my number.”

You grinned. Imagining Gareth fist pumping at the fact.

“Forget the drummer, did you see the guitarist?”

“Yeah, he’s fucking hot,” the first girl agreed, “did you see that girl he sang to?”

“I thought it was cute!”

“Whatever, I hope she enjoyed her fifteen minutes of fame – there’s no way someone like him is staying with someone like her.”

You felt your hands clench into fists. Who the fuck did this girl think she was? Ready to kick the door down and throw hands, you froze when you heard their laughter.

“I mean, did you see what she was wearing?” They giggled and your bravado flushed itself down the toilet.

Fuck this. You weren’t afraid of bullies in high school and you’d be damned if you’d let yourself be intimidated now. You slammed the door open, relishing in their shocked expressions and bared your teeth in a semblance of a smile. “Glad you enjoyed the show girls,” you said, eyeing their leather jackets and studded belts. “Your mascara is running.”

The first girl huffed, whirling around in a flurry of limbs, rushing out the door. The second girl winced, looking mildly apologetic before rushing after her friend.

The second you were alone, you wilted. You glanced at your reflection, wincing at your stupid outfit now. Who were you trying to kid? Washing your hands, a little more aggressively than needed, you pointed at yourself in the mirror.

“Get it together Henderson,” you hissed.

///////

You did not get it together.

“Thank you so much for your help,” you said to Jake, the security guy from earlier, and waved as Eddie drove off.

“See you guys’ next week!”

“See you!” Gareth called out. Eddie waved, honking once before driving back down the street you’d arrived on.

“Well, that was a success,” Liam said, “I can’t believe we can play the next two weeks. We got paid guys, holy shit, we got paid!”

You smiled, trying to stay present in their celebration but slowly retreating into your mind. Soon, you were watching everyone stumble out the van at Gareth’s house.

“My feelings are hurt at the lack of invitation,” Eddie called out from his open window.

Gareth flipped him off, not looking back. Jeff rolled his eyes and pointed to the van. “At least wait until you’re home before jumping each other you animals.”

“We all feel like we’re ready to vibrate out our skin,” Liam said, shaking his arms out. The guys always said that performing was a rush and coming down from it was always a trip. They usually crashed at Gareth’s after a gig. “We especially know how Eddie likes to channel that energy.”

Jeff pretended to gag and Eddie flipped them the bird. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll see you guys tomorrow!”

“Goodnight Hawkins!” Gareth shouted, holding up horns to his head. Liam and Jeff shoved each other; their jabs audible from down the street.

“His mom is going to kick his ass if the neighbors complain,” Eddie laughed.

You smiled and instantly knew by his look that he hadn’t bought it. You knew that he was driving back to his trailer, Wayne at the graveyard shift downtown.

“Did you see what she was wearing?”

Their laughing echoed in your head and you wanted to scream at the fact that you let it get under your skin.

“I’m just worried I’m not enough; you know?” Angelina sighed. “She’s pre-law and is doing all this exciting stuff. What if I’m too boring?”

Angelina’s voice joined their laughter and you winced. You didn’t think you’d be able to make it through the entire night pretending you were fine. You needed to process this new, ugly, feeling that felt like it was poisoning you from the inside.

“Henderson?”

“What?” You said, snapping your gaze up to him. You’d stopped at a red light a few blocks down.

“I said, did you have fun?” He asked softly, his eyes worried.

“I did, you guys were amazing,” you said, sounding like a broken record. Regardless of how you felt, that was true. They were good performers, amazing ones. This could be their shot and you didn’t want to ruin the night with your inner petty turmoil.

“Are you sure-”

“Can you take me home?” You asked him. You needed to process this new feeling in your own space. You felt like you couldn’t breathe in this van – you wanted to rip these stupid clothes off your body.

“I am going home,” he frowned, glancing at you.

“My home, please,” you said, clearing your throat.

Eddie turned to look at you and then seemed to realize he was driving.

“Was it the song? The attention?” He asked quietly.

“No, it wasn’t that at all, I swear,” you said, you felt horrible that he sounded so unsure but you didn’t know how to explain what you were feeling. That stupid pink slip was haunting you – your stupid clothes felt like a huge poser sign. If you admitted to it, you’d sound crazy.

Your house was much closer to Gareth’s and with the empty streets, you got there before you could blurt it out. He parked the van but before he could speak, you hopped out. The cold night air was sharp and burned as you gulped it down greedily. You only managed to get two steps towards your driveway before you felt his hand on your wrist.

“Sweetheart,” he said, softer this time, his eyes betraying his confusion. “Please, tell me what’s wrong.” He stepped into your arms, wrapping his own around you. He trailed a hand down your back and you heard him start to hum a familiar tune.

Oh, I want to be with you everywhere.

Standing in your front yard, in Eddie’s arms, a stupid amount of insecurity crumbled your last standing defense. You softened, your shoulders dropping and Eddie made a happy noise at the loss of tension. To your horror, you felt pressure build behind your eyes.  

“I-I, it’s embarrassing,” you said. It was mortifying. How would you even explain it?

“Princess, you’ve seen me at what I’m sure are most of my low moments. Like, embarrassingly low to be in front of your girlfriend low.”

“It’s stupid!” Because God, it was so stupid. Who cared what those bitches thought?

“It’s probably not,” he urged.

You sighed, burrowing your face into his neck. “I was jealous.”

“What?” He leaned back a little. “Use your outside voice Henderson.”

“I was jealous.”

“That I was on stage?” He asked, looking incredulous. “You don’t play an instrument and no offense, I’m pretty sure you’re tone deaf.”

You laughed, the sound echoing in the night air and you realized how truly stupid you’d been. Eddie knew what you looked like, he knew what your interests were, shit – he’d always proven that he liked you because of that. He never failed to volunteer to sit and watch you study – Eddie, the one person who you knew hated sitting still for hours, much less in a library.

“Of the girl, Edward.”

Eddie wrinkled his nose at the use of his full name. “Which girl?”

“The one who was in that tiny top, leather jacket, stupidly beautiful, and long blonde hair?”

“Why?” He said, looking genuinely confused.

“Because she was hitting on you! She couldn’t take her goddamn eyes off of you and I was fine until she went up to you afterwards – she trailed her stupid hand down your arm and you laughed that stupidly sexy laugh and she noticed. I think I blacked out after that.”

Your confession hung in the air for a moment, Eddie blinking at you. Slowly, you watched the puzzle pieces come together for him. Realization dawned and he nodded. “Okay, that is stupid.”

“Eddie!”

“What?” He laughed, pulling you into his arms. “I didn’t even notice her until she came up to talk to us.”

“I saw her give you her number,” you mumbled, crossing your arms like an immature toddler. “You made her laugh.”

“Sweetheart, I make a lot of people laugh, mostly you,” he kissed your temple and shook his head. “Gareth took her number before I could toss it out. I don’t ever keep them – for what?”

“I know,” you said, and you did…now. “This was just…weird for me. I’ve seen girls notice you, obviously, but when she wrote her number down so confidently – I don’t know.”

Eddie shook his head. “I didn’t even look at it, princess. I love you, you know that right?”

“I do, I swear I do,” you said, not knowing how to word it, “I just spiraled a little too hard. When I went to the bathroom two girls in there were talking about what I was wearing and it got to me. I felt like I was back in high school and fucking Carol and Tommy were giving Steve shit for hanging out with me. Then the blonde looked so effortlessly cool like she’d just tossed it on. While I’d spent all day finding the perfect things with Robin. Then I realized that she looked more like someone you’d have things in common with and I don’t know! I felt so small.”

“Shit, princess, why didn’t you tell me? I thought you were mad at me,” he sighed. “You looked so miserable. If I knew – I would’ve reminded you!”

“Reminded me of what?”

“That I really, really don’t give a fuck about other girls,” he said, his eyes wide and sincere. “You’re like the sun and it’s an active choice to revolve around you.”

“Shut up,” you groaned, hiding your face in your hands.

“I’m serious!”

“When are you ever serious?” You huffed, peeking out from behind a finger.

Eddie smiled, shaking his head. “I can be serious sometimes, you know,” he pulled one of your hands down. “I, for one, think you look hot in this outfit. Okay? So, fuck those girls.”

Laughing quietly, you took a few steadying breaths as you leaned into him.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“Don’t ever be sorry about feeling bad because people are rude,” he said, “you’re human – as much as I forget too, and it’s just shitty people being shitty.”

“I know, but I let it get to me,” you sighed.

After a beat, you heard him speak up again. “You do realize, Henderson, that men hit on you – in front of me – way more often?”

Sputtering, you leaned away from him. “What! Name one time-”

“-the usher at the movie theater-”

“-other than Carl!”

Eddie held out his hand and ticked his fingers. “The teacher’s assistant in your economics class, Keith, the rookie at your new job, Robin’s cousin that came to visit, my neighbor’s little brother-”

“Okay, okay! I get your point,” you exclaimed, “but I don’t ever notice!” As the words left your mouth, you winced.

Avoiding his triumphant stare, you went willingly to him as Eddie took your hands in his. He ducked his head to catch your gaze and smiled softly when you finally did. “Seriously,” he started, “I think is unhealthy how much brain capacity you take up there. I’m pretty sure it’s why I couldn’t seem to graduate.”

“Don’t blame me for that,” you muttered, fighting a smile.

“I would never look at anyone else when I’ve got you,” the knot in your stomach unraveled completely at the genuine look in his eyes. “I will always want to be by your side, for as long as you’ll let me. Okay? And if you ever forget for a second, I am happy to remind you.”

“I know, I know,” you dropped your forehead onto his shoulder, “I’m sorry for being a bitch. I ruined the whole night and it was going so nice-”

“You didn’t ruin anything,” he said sternly, so out of character for him that your voice trailed off. “Princess, you make any room a thousand times better by just being in it.”

“You’re just saying that,” you laughed lightly, pressing an apologetic kiss to his jaw. “I promise to work on not to be so insecure.”

“I told you, it’s not easy for me either sometimes but, we’ve got each other - right? You remind me all the time to talk about it, it’s your turn.”

Nodding, you squeezed his hands. 

“Alright enough with this serious talk, come on you owe me,” he said, opening the car door and turning the radio on. He dug through a few cassettes and you watched him push one in. He raised the volume enough so that you could both hear from your driveway and you grinned.

“You don’t have to-”

“Ah, ah,” he said, putting up a hand. “You owe me.”

You grinned and reached for him. “Alright,” you said, letting him twirl you a little.

Can you hear me calling

Out your name?

You know that I'm falling

And I don't know what to say

Eddie brought his mouth down to your ear as you swayed together for a little. “I wanna be with you everywhere,” he sang quietly, kissing your temple.

“You know,” you said, “people never believe me when I tell them you’re romantic.”

Eddie jerked back and shot you an offended look. “You cannot be spreading lies about me like that. I have a reputation as the town freak to uphold you know.”

“Well, they’re not going to believe you now,” you said and rolled your eyes. “I hate when you call yourself that.”

“I know,” Eddie grinned, “I love that you call me out on it every time. Now stop interrupting my amazing dancing skills.”

“Yeah okay – oh my god!” You squealed as he dipped you dramatically and deeply. Clinging onto his arm, you both laughed as he brought you back up on your two feet.

“Don’t forget,” he said, leaning his forehead against yours. “I’m yours.”

“And I’m yours,” you smiled, feeling warm all over and not wanting this to end. “So, how about we go back home?”

“You are home,” Eddie smiled, shimmying his shoulders ridiculously, “or did my mad skills make you momentarily forget?”

“I meant your home,” you said, kissing him lightly, “where we can be alone.”

Eddie’s eyebrows disappeared into his hair. “What my princess wants, she gets,” he said, kissing you soundly one last time before leading you eagerly back to the van.

“Wait, my bag, Eddie!” You laughed as he threw you over his shoulder. “Oh my God, Eddie my neighbors are going to see!”

“Good,” he smacked your butt and you laughed louder.

“Eddie!”

“Henderson!” He placed you gently into the passenger seat and kissed the back of your hand. “Your carriage, your highness.”

You smiled, completely and utterly enamored with this nerd. He closed the door, ran back for your bag and hopped into the driver’s seat.

“Now, I know you have the hots for me and want to mark your territory – which please feel free at all times, whoever is present. Seriously, if you want to climb the stage next time, go ahead – but try and keep your hands to yourself until I get us home,” he said, winking at you. “I’ve got precious cargo.”

“Oh my God,” you rolled your eyes at his cheesiness.

“What?” He started the van and turned it around. “I was talking about my guitar – ow! I’m kidding!”

You scrunched your nose at him and he laughed.

//////

One day, one of you were going to get hurt from the number of times you both found yourselves running from his van to his room. You were almost sure you’d knocked over something on the kitchen counter as you were ripping Eddie’s shirt off. You felt boneless and you still felt a twitch in one of your thighs, your mind only now starting to come back from the ether.

“I don’t want to beat a dead horse,” Eddie started, still sounding a little breathless himself.

“That’s exactly what a girl wants to hear while lying naked in her boyfriend’s bed,” you joked.

“I know we settled everything earlier but, can I just say one last thing?”

You propped your head up on your elbow and turned to place a hand on his chest. “You have the floor Munson.”

He smiled, his hair sweaty and wild from your scramble into his room. His rings had gotten caught in your hair, you’d almost kneed him in the stomach, but you both managed to get where you needed to eventually.

“I like that we have different interests,” he said, his hand coming up to cover yours. “I like watching you photograph stuff; you’ve got this eye for things that I don’t ever notice. I love that you give a shit about school because one of us has to.”

You snorted.

“If you would’ve told me two years ago that this is where I’d end up, I would’ve laughed at you. I never thought you’d look at me again after the dance--”

“You know I was dealing with--”

“—the Upside Down, parasitic demon monsters, and general badassery?”

“Yeah,” you said, smiling at his description.

“I know,” he said, squeezing your hand, “but I guess what I’m trying to say is I know what you’re feeling okay? I know what people are thinking when they see us together. How can someone like her be with someone like him.”

“What?” You grunted when he shushed you.

“Your friends, our friends, they’re not like that – but at Hawkins High? Where they knew you and they saw me, Eddie the Freak? With the salutatorian of her year? The girl that threatened Jason Carver in the middle of the cafeteria for making fun of her brother? You have to know how it looked.”

“I don’t care about what those idiots said,” you crossed your arms. “They don’t know you. They don’t know us. You’re worth ten of them.” 

Eddie smiled, eyes softening and his arm around you tightening. “I know that, now, but it took me a while to get over it. Especially considering how we, you know, started out.”

“You could’ve come up to me after that dance too Munson,” you reminded him.

He rolled his eyes and tickled your side. You squirmed, smacking his hands away. “We’re not having this argument again.”

“You brought it up!”

“To make a point!”

“Well, you made your point,” you huffed, dropping your head to his chest. “I was being stupid.”

“You were being human,” he said, rubbing a hand down your back. “It happens to the best of us, even royalty like you.”

“When did you get all mature?”

“When I left that shithole?”

You snorted. “I promise to try and draw the line with guys more clearly,” you said, thinking of Carl and his pushiness. “I don’t ever flirt back. I just feel bad cutting them off.”

“I know, that’s how I feel with the groupies,” he said, “it’s also kinda satisfying to know that people want what you have.”

 “Eddie,” you admonished, bringing your palm up to your forehead.

“What? I said kinda, I also kinda wanna punch Carl in his stupidly handsome face every time he touches you.”

“We could go to the nicer theater across town?” You suggested. “He’s seen you with me. We’ve literally gone on dates there. We almost got kicked out last time.”

“There’s bound to an usher there that’ll notice you too, who wouldn’t? I’ll just make it clear to Carl that you’re taken,” Eddie said, leaning across you to bite down onto your neck and your entire body sung to attention.

“So, in conclusion,” you started, a little breathless, “we’re both surprised by our own jealousy and we’ll work on our insecurities? I didn’t even know I could get that jealous until I saw her stupid hand on you.”

“Yeah, what’s that you always say? We’ll grow together? It was never going to be a hundred percent smooth sailing,” he said, worrying a patch a skin between his teeth.

“Bumpy waters and all. I might need a few more reminders that you don’t feel like you’re settling for a boring old college girl when you become a famous rockstar,” you joked, “conforming to the man.”

Eddie snorted. “I’ll be happy to remind you,” he said, kissing the new bruise softly. “Besides, there are some things worth conforming for.”

You leaned away to shoot him a look. “Did you, Eddie Munson, really just say that?”

“What? It’s true.”

“Name one.”

“I’ll name a few! Song choices, driving laws-”

“- have you seen how you drive? -”

“Pets, marriage…” he trailed off softly.

You almost snapped your neck turning to look at him. His eyes were on your neck, his fingers dancing across your skin, like he didn’t just say that.

"That sounded pointed," you said casually.

"Did it?" He asked, exaggerated pensive look on his face. "Well, what do you think about that?"

"Your idea of subtly? Needs work."

Eddie groaned, leaning back against his headboard and you smiled. "I would say I hate it when you do that but that's a damn lie,” he groaned.

You sat up and climbed into his lap, smiling when you felt something hard against your thigh.

“You can’t blame me,” he said, shrugging when you shot him a look. “It’s you, it’ll never not be hot when it’s you.”

Ignoring his suggestive tone, you continued. "I think that I still have three semesters to go before I graduate. You just graduated and are still thinking about whether or not you want to take a few classes. You like your job at the record store, I like my job at the bookstore, but we're broke as hell. We still don’t have our own place yet." You ran a soothing hand down his chest, stopping right below his belly button. "I think that in a few years, if you ever decide you want to ask, my answer would be a very resounding yes."

Eddie popped his head up, surprised, and eyes brightening in a way you’d never seen before. Your heart tripped over itself. He must’ve been thinking of a way to bring it up if he was this happy about it.

"But I want you to know that I don't need a ring or paperwork to tell me that you're my forever," you said, "so if you wouldn't want to either, I'm okay too."

Eddie glanced at you for a moment, searching your face for something. Like a sunrise, his small smile turned into a grin which evolved into a delighted laugh. He rolled you, surprising you, so that he hovered above you.

"I'm guessing that means you'd like to conform to the idea of marriage to me," you laughed. “Is the ring a way of staking your visible claim?”

"Rings? Marriage? I was talking about getting a dog,” he said. You pinched his chest and he squeaked, dropping his weight onto you. You both groaned in pain at the impact.

"What did we say about using your words?" He said, rubbing his chest.

You rolled your eyes before wrapping your legs tightly around his waist, both of you jerking at the sudden pressure. With quick maneuver, you flipped him so you were on top.

"How about we use no words?" You suggested, hand dipping between you both and taking him in your grip. You smiled as his breath hitched.

"I have always said you're the smarts in this relationship," he said, his mouth going back to your neck.

“We’re both the smarts,” you insisted, giving him better access.

“Agree to disagree,” he mumbled, “come on, it’s my turn to be on top this time.”

You fought him for a moment, laughing when he successfully flipped you over.

“I love you, Munson,” you said, watching his eyes bright up like they always did.

“I love you too princess.”

A/N: so, I managed to smidge (and edit previous installments) the timeline so that the relationship and canon make a little more sense but since these don't necessarily go in chronological order, I'm just assigning a date at the beginning of every note so I don't mess up lol hope you guys like this one! I've been thinking of writing a version of DYFAB from Eddie's POV? Since someone suggested it and it's burrowed into my mind now. Would that be anything anyone wants to read? As always -- your lovely comments give me the validation I crave to keep going, thank you so much!

[cosmos-kitty]

Sorry if this is a common question, but what kind of tablet do you use? And what programs do you prefer? I was thinking about getting a tablet with a screen, purely for casual/ personal projects, not professional works like yours :) I have a Wacom but my laptops are getting to old to handle it.

I actually have an about page that lists all of my digital and traditional art tools now! As for my tablet it's a Wacom Cintiq Companion which is a standalone one that doesn't need plugged into a computer, I would usually link where to get one but that entire line of tablets seems to be discontinued now (mine is fairly old)

My advice for anyone who wants to invest in a screen tablet without a decent existing laptop/computer to run it on is to just get a recent iPad model that supports the Apple Pencil instead. They can carry out most of the same functions as desktop drawing tablet set-ups these days with apps like Procreate, and it works out much cheaper than buying a whole new Wacom tablet *and* a new computer to plug it into (the current line of standalone drawing tablets from Wacom are double the price mine was when I got it 😬)