sharpest tool | s.reid
(chapter four, motion sickness)
'I hate you for what you did and I miss you like a little kid. i faked it every time but that's alright. i can hardly feel anything, i hardly feel anything at all, I have emotional motion sickness somebody roll the windows down, there are no words in the english language, i could scream to drown you out'
summary; you never had someone make you feel safe enough to open up, until spencer. now trying to cope with his sudden absence you learn to lean on your new found friendship with his coworker, penelope.
warnings; fem reader, mentions of bad relationships, ghosting, commitment issues, self doubt & overthinking, preettyy angsty idk guys, no comfort yet but there is some fluff, and theres penelope & reader friendship!! reader lowkey shit talks spencer but he deserves it. reader is embarrassed & upset. reader is lowkey really mean, but shes coping guys. i think this is my favourite chapter out of all of them.
2.3k words
taglist; @gghostwriter @lavonee @guiltyyassin @spencersinonlygf @criminalmindssworld @iknwreid @fortheloveofgubler @yokaimoon @sapphirecobalt-1 @eddiesdrummergf @livvyliv15 @lover-of-books-and-tea a @sebastiansstanswhore @bloodredrubyrose @sp3ncelle @nemobee777 @jencole214 @hazzarules
SERIES MASTERLIST
The lights are low, casting a soft, warm glow on the room, making it feel almost too cozy for the storm of emotions swirling inside of you. Penelope sits across from you on the other side of the coffee table, her vibrant personality seeming muted for once. She’s not wearing her usual bright colors, just a simple oversized shirt and pajama pants, the kind of clothes that scream comfort. It fits the night. It fits the conversation.
“You want to talk about it?” Penelope asks, voice gentle, but still full of that spark of energy that only she has. There’s no judgment there. Her eyes made you believe there never would be.
Your fingers tug absentmindedly at a loose thread on the hem of your sweatpants, the silence stretching between you like an invisible barrier. But it’s not an uncomfortable silence. Penelope doesn’t push. She doesn’t know you well enough to push. You’re not sure how to start, not sure how to talk about something you’re still struggling to process.
The night had consisted of making cookies, watching sickeningly sweet romance films you both gushed over — there were numerous times you had to stop your mind from drifting to Spencer, and when it did, you felt a sickening ache in your stomach. For the most part, besides those moments where the room fell quiet and your mind drifted, the night had been great.
“He just... stopped,” you whisper, voice barely audible, but Penelope catches it. Her eyes soften, and she leans forward slightly, offering silent encouragement for you to continue. "One day, Spencer was there, and the next... he wasn't. Theoretically of course..”
Spencer was different to anyone else you met, or at least he seemed that way. You thought he understood you. The way he listened, the way his eyes softened when he looked at you, the way he made you feel like you could breathe around him. No one had ever done that for you before. But then, when things had started getting real—when you both were on the verge of making it official—he disappeared. You couldn’t help but wonder if maybe it was a commitment issue thing. Or if he really just had been playing with you the entire time.
“I don’t understand why,” you continue, the words tumbling out faster now, as if saying them out loud will make them make sense. “One day, we were close. He’d text me every morning. He’d ask how I was feeling, what I was doing. He made me feel… seen. Like he actually cared. And then, nothing. No calls, no messages. He just—”
“Ghosted you?” Penelope finishes for you, and the bluntness of the term hits you harder than you thought it would. You nod, feeling the sting of it all over again.
“He just disappeared,” you say, the words coming out harsh, jagged. You laugh bitterly, but there’s no humor in it. “Like I wasn’t even worth an explanation.”
Penelope’s hand reaches across the table, her fingers curling around yours in a comforting squeeze. She doesn’t say anything for a moment, just lets you sit with the weight of your own pain. But her presence, her warmth, makes it feel a little less suffocating.
“I’m so sorry, sweetie,” she murmurs, her thumb brushing over the back of your hand. “Spencer… he’s complicated. I don’t know why he did this to you, but I can tell you for sure, it’s not your fault. It never was.”
You close your eyes for a second, trying to swallow down the hurt, but it lingers there, a dull ache that refuses to fade. It’s not just about Spencer ghosting you; it’s about all the hope you had pinned on him. You thought he was different, thought he could be the person who made you feel safe in a way you had never felt before.
You couldn’t help the embarrassment you felt, all you had been thinking about for days was ‘how could i be so stupid.’ You had your guard up for a reason. You didn’t date for a reason, and the fact that you had let him let you forget that. You were so mad at yourself.
You missed Spencer more than you were willing to admit. Sleep evades you, and when it comes, it’s restless—haunted by the ghost of his touch. Your limbs grew weary, not from movement but from the effort of carrying the silence he left behind.
Your lips twitch into a bitter smile. “Yeah, well, maybe that’s on me. I was stupid for thinking it would be different.”
“No. Absolutely not,” Penelope says firmly, her voice suddenly fierce in a way that surprises you. “No. You were not stupid. You opened up because he made you feel like you could, and that’s on him, not you. He gave you the signals. He made the promises, and then he broke them. Spencer—he’s got his issues. He’s been through a lot, but that doesn’t excuse what he did to you. You deserved better.”
You pull your knees up to your chest, hugging them tightly as Penelope’s words sink in. It’s hard to believe that sometimes, that you deserved better. Spencer had made you feel like you could finally let your guard down, but in the end, it just made the hurt cut deeper. — Maybe thats all you’d ever deserve.
“He made me feel safe,” you admit, your voice breaking slightly. “Which i know sounds stupid— But— I don’t know.. I trusted him.”
“And then he took that away,” Penelope finishes, her voice softening again, filled with understanding. “It’s okay to be hurt. It’s okay to be angry. You opened up to him because you trusted him, and he didn’t treat that trust the way he should have.”
You nod, biting your lip to keep the tears at bay. You hadn’t wanted to cry tonight. You hadn’t wanted to break down. But being here with Penelope, his friend, his co-worker, who was so sweet and so understanding, it’s harder to keep everything bottled up.
“I just don’t get it,” you say, voice shaking. “Why would he make me feel like I mattered, like we were something, and then just leave?”
Penelope sighs, leaning back against the couch. “Spencer’s not great at dealing with his emotions,” she explains gently. “He’s always in his head, analyzing things, trying to make sense of the world. But feelings aren’t always logical. And sometimes… sometimes he runs from things he can’t control.”
You shake your head, a bitter laugh escaping your lips. “Well, he sure ran fast.”
Penelope gives you a sad smile, squeezing your hand again. “I know it doesn’t make it easier, but sometimes people can care about you and still hurt you. It doesn’t mean what you had wasn’t real. It just means he is an idiot.”
You stare down at your hands, the weight of her words settling on your shoulders. Maybe she’s right. Maybe Spencer did care about you in his own way, but that didn’t change the fact that he left you when you needed him most. It didn’t change the fact that you were still trying to pick up the pieces of your heart while he was nowhere to be found.
“I mean, he’s so damn smart, right? So.. So smart, always figuring things out. But apparently, figuring out how to treat people isn’t part of his skill set.”
Penelope chuckles softly, though there’s no real humor in it. “Yeah, sometimes Spencer’s great at solving every problem except the ones that really matter.”
“Yeah, no kidding,” you mutter, shaking your head. The frustration still courses through your veins, and you grip the fabric of your pants tightly, trying to channel it somewhere, anywhere. “I’m not going to sit around waiting for some half-assed explanation either. If he wanted to tell me why he bailed, he would have.”
She nodded her head. “He is dumb.” She said.
A laugh passed through your lips as you nodded quickly in agreement. “How is he so smart — and sweet yet such a fucking coward? I’m so pissed that he couldn’t even end things in person — that he didn’t even say anything.” You ran your hands down your face.
Penelope smiled. Maybe you were being mean in order to deflect from the hurt in your heart and the way your brain fizzled with an overwhelming ache for the comfort of Spencer. “Are you sure you don’t want me to ask him about it?” She asked.
You were quick to shake your head. While you were desperate for an answer of what you could have possibly done — you weren’t desperate enough to go through his friends to get an answer. You refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing you cared so much. “No. No- Please don’t— Does he even know we have been talking?” Penelope was quick to shake her head with a grin.
“Nope! I haven’t said anything to him.. I sent a photo to JJ earlier of your bobble head collection, but I highly doubt she would’ve just shown Spencer?” She mumbled, shrugging her shoulders slightly. The words made you frown, yet glad. You didn’t care about Penelope sharing your silly bobble head collection, it was something you were very proud of.
“I don’t really care if he knows. Is it bad I hope he is really mad? Like I hope he is really really pissed off about it. Is that petty?” You tumbled out the questions as your mind swirled. You hoped he was mad because at least then in some way maybe you could believe he cared.
“Yes. Definitely petty.” Penelope nodded, a playful smile on her face. “But— If anyone has a right to be petty, it’s you.. You’re handing this better than I would. i’d want to egg his house.” She shrugged, the words made a string of laughter leave your lips.
“I really really do want to” You said honestly, “maybe then he would have to say something” It was silly, but it would lie to say the thought hadn’t crossed your mind. It was childish, and immature and so petty, but leaving someone with no explanation was also just as childish and immature so in your head, it evened out.
“I reckon he would start crying” Penelope giggled.
“God I hope so.” you huffed out, running your hands through your hair before a small smile made way onto your lips as you looked up at the blonde women. The last thing you expected was to get along so quickly with the girl. You had expected it to be awkward between the two of you, but it wasn’t. You two spent hours watching silly chick-flics and laughing, before this conversation even started.
“Thank you- by the way. For this” you mumbled, referring to her just being there. She didn’t have to. She didn’t know you, she didn’t owe you anything, she was Spencer’s friend, not yours.
Penelope grinned widely, “Don’t thank me. I love boy genius but he can be such a tool sometimes without even realising it. He fucked up and you need somebody, plus who else would make sugar cookies with me?” She teased.
You curled up by Penelope’s side, smiling at her gently. You really were grateful. “Speaking of sugar cookies, do you think we could frost them yet?”
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Whumptober day 15- makeshift bandages
Sorry I’m a little late, I slept in fhsksbkssbsk. Anyways this one is kinda silly, idk what I’m doing with whumptober but I’ve had this idea in my head where Legend meets the dads so here’s this silly lil thing dbsksbsksbk.
Warning for a bloody stab wound.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Legend stared out at the ocean, listening to the waves as they crashed against the beach he was on. He breathed in the salty breeze, several old memories flooding his mind from the smell and sounds. He had mixed feelings about the ocean. On one hand, it reminded him of the pain and loss he had to endure, but on the other hand, he had the best memories at the beach. Whenever he got overwhelmed he would try to find a beach area to unwind, occasionally humming his song…
He was lucky that he was close enough to a beach in this world. The other heroes were great, but they would always burst into arguments and overwhelm Legend. In order to keep himself from getting riled up, he’d walk away, and so he found a beautiful beach to think about all that’s happened to him. He stared out at the horizon, watching the land across from him. But something was strange about it when he really studied it. He narrowed his eyes and noticed that there was a boat traveling to where he was.
A boat?
If Legend recalled correctly, they were the only ones here. So who was on that boat? And why were they heading towards them? He stood up and watched the boat closely. He didn’t know what that was, but he might as well figure it out before it got too close. Legend took off his clothes and took a deep breath, praying that no one could see him now, and he jumped into the water. He felt the familiar magic twisting his bones around and fusing his legs together into a beautiful pink fish tail, and he pushed against the water towards the boat. When he got close he kept his distance, but stared at the bottom of the boat. He didn’t know what he was expecting, he couldn’t see the people on the boat so he didn’t know if they were a threat. He circled the boat for a little bit, finally popping out of the water to get a good look at the people onboard. He only saw one person, but from what he could tell, they weren’t a monster. Was that the puppeteer? Legend narrowed his eyes, but he couldn’t see the person very clearly. Truthfully he didn’t know what the puppeteer looked like. But he was from either Sheikah, Hylian, or Gerudo from what he heard, so he should be on this boat, right?
The person Legend was watching suddenly looked at him, and Legend quickly dove back into the water, panicking. He wasn’t supposed to be seen.
Legend quickly swam underneath the boat, trying to head back to shore to report on what he saw. Just when he was out in the open, a sharp pain went through his tail, and he let out a scream. Legend sunk to the ocean floor as his tail throbbed, and he looked at it to see a spear straight through his tail. Blood was mixing in with the water, and the pain was so bad that he couldn’t move his tail. He quickly reached for the spear, trying to gather up the courage to pull it out, but the pain was too much. A shadow went over him, and Legend noticed that the boat was on top of him. They’re after him, he thought in horror. He was going to get captured and possibly tortured for information on the other heroes, or he was going to get murdered for being a mermaid or for being a hero or something. He needed to get out now, but he couldn’t move his tail, he was stuck. He turned and saw a net coming towards him, and he gasped as he was scooped off the ocean floor, his tail throbbing as he folded up in the net. The net pulled up quickly, and Legend broke the surface coughing.
“Let me go! Let me go!” He started yelling as the net pulled him closer to the boat. He weakly punched the air, trying to land a hit on his captors.
“Woah woah woah! Hey it’s ok, it’s ok!” He heard a man yell out, and he was cut free from the net and was carried out gently, which surprised Legend. Was he not a captive?
Legend let out a yelp when he slipped out of the man’s hold, and he fell to the ground harshly. He heard the man curse under his breath and he was leaned up against him.
“Nice going Rusl.”
“I didn’t think he’d be so slippery!”
“He’s part fish, what did you expect?”
“I—I don’t know! Leave me alone!”
Legend looked up at the man he was leaned up against, who he assumed was named Rusl. He had dirty blonde hair that reached to the middle of his neck, with some scruffy facial hair on his chin and an interesting mustache around his mouth. He had light blue eyes and had a gentle expression when he looked down at Legend. He frowned apologetically and rubbed Legend’s arm.
“That got you good,” he muttered, looking at Legend’s injured tail, where another man with reddish-blonde hair looked over. “How… how does it look, Leon?”
Leon gave Rusl a look before returning to his tail.
“Well, the spear went right through his tail so, I can’t imagine it’s anything good,” he answered, grabbing the spear which caused Legend to whimper. “Linebeck, look away,” he said, and Legend noticed a tall man with dark brunette hair turn away, looking nauseous. Rusl held onto Legend’s hand as Leon broke the spear in half, pulling it through his tail. Legend hissed at the pain and felt his tail go numb.
“Hey Leon, did you ever consider that doing that would cause splinters?” A very short man who looked a lot like Hyrule stepped up, staring at the broken spear concerned.
“He’ll be fine.”
“Not if he has splinters.”
“He’ll be fine.”
Legend gulped and looked at his bleeding tail, feeling dizzy from the sight as Leon put pressure on the wound. He felt the magic twisting through his legs and he groaned in pain as his tail split back into two legs. Leon yelped at the sight, throwing his red cape over Legend before continuing to deal with his legs.
“Woah,” he heard Rusl mumble at the sight. “You can turn into a… fish?”
Legend let out a pained breath, smiling at the kind man. “A mermaid.”
“I see. I’ve never heard of mermaids before…”
“Yeah, well, I’m not really a mermaid, it’s just an item that I use whenever I get into water.”
Rusl stared at him blankly, and Legend chuckled at his confusion.
“It’s weird I know.”
Rusl smiled as Leon sat up and turned behind him. “Oy, Talon,” he called out, “bring me some bandages!”
“We don’t have any bandages!” He heard the man named Talon yell back. He sounded like he was inside the boat.
“Then bring me something that can be used as a bandage for Din’s sake!”
“Ok ok, don’t cuss at me!”
Legend took a deep breath, trying not to pass out from the pain and the blood, and Rusl rubbed his arm again.
“I’m so sorry about this,” he mumbled, and Legend waved it away.
“It’s ok, thank you for taking care of me—“ Legend was interrupted when he saw a man walk up to Leon with bandages. He felt his heart stop when he nearly recognized him, and he sat up, almost hitting Rusl’s chin with his head. “T-Tarin?” He blurted out, and the man looked at him in surprise. He looked behind him and looked back with confusion plastered on his face.
“Are ya talkin’ to me?” He asked, and Legend felt disappointment and embarrassment when he realized that he was definitely not Tarin. His hair was thinning at the top, his facial hair connected all the way to his sideburns, and his blue eyes did not match Tarin’s dark brown eyes. Legend looked down, tears uncontrollably welling up.
“I-I’m so s-sorry—I thought you were someone else,” he stammered.
“Oh, it’s ok kid, no harm done,” Talon said softly, handing a shirt to Leon. While Leon tore the shirt apart and began wrapping his leg, Legend stared at Talon. He had such a kind face, and now that he was looking at him more, he was looking a lot like his uncle. A lump formed in his throat and he looked away.
“So, uh, what’s your name?” Talon asked, breaking the silence.
“I’m Link,” Legend said without thinking. He probably should’ve kept his identity a secret, but these men were all so kind that he didn’t think about it. Leon froze and looked at him intensely.
“You’re Link? Are you traveling with other Links?”
“Um…” Legend stopped himself this time. They were all looking for the group… was it smart to say yes? “I… uh… I don’t know.”
“… you don’t know?”
“Uh… well I…” Legend looked around, panic beginning to bubble up in his chest. Rusl cleared his throat and Legend looked up at him.
“We’re only asking because we’re looking for our respective Links,” he explained. “Y’see, my son is Link, and most of us here also have a son named Link, we were hoping that our Links would all be together.”
Legend narrowed his eyes. Rusl’s son was Link? Which Link was he the father to? He honestly looked nothing like them. Not to mention his ears were rounded, not pointed. Was his son Sky? Sky had very small ears, but so did Warriors, maybe Warriors was his son…
“Hey,” Leon interrupted Legend’s thoughts. “It’s a simple question, are you traveling with Links?”
“Leon he’s overwhelmed, be patient with him,” Talon muttered, and Leon sighed.
“I-I’m sorry, Link,” he muttered, and Legend smiled.
“Hey, it’s ok. Who’s your son?”
Leon sat up straight, a hopeful gleam in his eye. “Um, his name is also Link… and uh… he has long blonde hair, he’s kind of braided it on one side though, and he’s very young…”
Legend hummed. “That sounds like Four.”
Leon nearly jumped up at that, causing Talon to yelp slightly.
“Four? As in the Four sword?”
“Uh, y-yes. We had to give each other nicknames so… he’s known as Four, mostly ‘cause of his eyes but also because of his four sword.”
Leon smiled slightly, then looked down. “He’s alright?”
“Last time I checked, yeah. He’s safe and sound.”
Leon sat back, running a hand through his hair, looking relieved. Legend smiled and sat up away from Rusl.
“Really, all the Links I’m traveling with are fine. I’m sure they’d be happy to see you.”
The men all made different sounds of relief at that, but Legend couldn’t help but notice the Linebeck man watching him strangely. Leon finished tying his bandages and gave his knee a pat.
“We'll take you inside, and maybe we’ll find you some clothes you can put on.”
Legend wrapped the red cape around him tighter in embarrassment. “Um… it’s ok my clothes are all on the beach.”
“Whatever you’re comfortable with,” Leon said, standing up. “Ok Linebeck you’re safe to look.”
“No, no you are not safe to look, Linebeck. There’s blood everywhere,” The short brown haired man stopped the tall man.
“Oh come on, his leg isn’t bleeding,” Leon muttered.
“There’s still blood everywhere!”
Legend chuckled at the men bantering, they reminded him of his own group. Rusl gave a small sigh and pulled Legend closer to him.
“Let me take you inside then,” he said softly. “I am… so sorry about this.”
Legend wrapped his arms around his neck as he was lifted off the ground. “Hey, it’s ok. I’m sure it wasn’t your fault anyways.”
Legend heard the others snort.
“No it was definitely his fault,” Leon said.
“I said that I saw a mermaid,” Linebeck started up, “and Rusl wasted no time to grab a spear and chuck it into the water.”
“He was so fast I didn’t have time to process what was going on!” The short brunette chuckled.
“He has a good aim I must admit.” Legend saw a different man with strikingly blue eyes leaning against a strange bird man. “It’s not easy to throw spears into the water, I’ve definitely tried.”
Rusl looked down ashamed. “Guys, enough.”
Talon picked up on his mood and stood up. “Alright y’all, let Rusl put Link inside. Leave him alone.”
The other men stopped and Rusl quickly turned to enter the inside of the boat. Legend watched him quietly as he was settled down in a bed. Rusl grabbed some blankets and set them down on top of Legend, and before he could leave, Legend grabbed his arm.
“Hey… it’s ok,” he said firmly. Rusl stared at him for a moment but smiled.
“Get some rest. We’ll get you once we reach the beach.”
Legend nodded and watched as Rusl left the bottom deck. He sighed and laid down, happily letting himself get rest.
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