#but im already crying bc i know I'll never escape the complete hell that is getting used to new places and people
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#day 2 of my internship#idk im just traumatized from previous social situations#but im already crying bc i know I'll never escape the complete hell that is getting used to new places and people#and im also thinking about how i always need very clear instructions about everything ever#or else i just literally dont know what to do#I'm doing everything the teachers are asking me to do#and im trying to observe as much as i can to see if there's something they're not saying but are expecting me to do#but i ALWAYS miss these unspoken things people expect from me#(also even if i notice something most of the times i feel like im not allowed to do anything ever if people dont give me#permission explicitly)#so i was thinking about talking to the teachers im helping about these things#so they know that if im not doing something they expect (and is obvious i should be doing) is not bc I don't want to or something like that#and that sometimes i just need very clear instructions about everything people expect from me wjhwhss#but then im scared that if i bring this up I'll just make the situation weird idk#this has been a issue my whole entire life and now im too self aware to not feel anxious about it lmao#in previous situations i just noticed things like years after#now I'm paranoid so im always acared to be doing less than expected bc people usually dont explain the obvious stuff#ANYWAYS i haye being like this i need a new brain#camtalks
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