#but im so scared shes gna die while we're gone and she would've been all alone in the house
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#we think my cat might be. starting to. uh. die#i dont want to speak it into existence and it could just be that shes getting old and wobbly#but she keeps tripping over and she sleeps all day and eats maybe once a day and shes got so thin and she keeps having toilet accidents#just. aauauauuagh i dont want her to die. i dont want her to die shes my little girl#it makes it worse that in a few days time nobody is going to be in the house bc my family and i are going on (seperate) holidays#my cousins gona come in twice a day to check on and feed her and also my tortoise bc she only lives across the street#but im so scared shes gna die while we're gone and she would've been all alone in the house#or that im gona come home with my friends and find her dead or that shes gona die while theyre staying#i dont want to make everyone sad and uncomfortable bc im the host and i cant just sit thete mourning my cat#again i dont want to speak it into existence i hope we have her a lot longer and shes just a lil under the weather and im overthinking#but i just. i dont want her to die#its the first time since rhory that im having to think about someone i love dying and idk if its the ptsd from rhory or what but#i feel like im not doing enough and that if she does die then i will have failed her somehow#and im assuming it is rhory related bc im not god i cant just decide to make her young and healthy again but im blaming myself#i just dont want to lose her#sorry i. its just its been literally pent up all day like 11 hours ive been sitting on it trying not to break down#i just needed to dump it somewhere#ask to tag#personal#pet death cw#pet illness cw
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