#but in hindsight that was pretty stupid of me lol

[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

thought to myself u know what. i havent watched falsettos enough. so here's a couple things i noticed in my latest impromptu rewatch (rewatch number 52th probably?? 67th?) + just some nice bits n parallel that are always Good (tm):

"he loves another" "i agree" with ("-man") going unsaid

the chess games following trina's song about stupid men and their little games

"that's the king. please protect him" That's marvin saying "please protect me. don't hurt me"

whizzer moves the pieces randomly in the revival but i like to imagine he's actually beating marvin at the game in the end... and the whole thing was him pretending to not know how to play, and that hurt marvin's ego more than anything

"now marvin, bend" as a sexy moment but later gets re-framed as a "unwillingness to change perspective" moment

"nothing is everything to me / except sex / and money" in that money whizzer is playing to marvin's insecurity that he's only sticking with marvin for his money- is so needlessly cruel (and thus such... delicious character writing lol)

"and he loves me so" that "so" at the end is sort of a "loves me so much" but also a dare. he loves me, so what can you even do about that?"

"ask me if i love him, it depends on the day"// "do i love him?… no"

"son with a brain, and nice bright mother" showing mendel is like marvin (+ many, many men) and wants a wife half just to do domestic labor for him (goes well with the "washing your laundry, washing your socks!" line)

"he loves his father" // "i love things i never had"

"im everything he wanted" here trina finally realizes how she was such a insecure woman for such a long time and why she could put up with so much / settle for so little ("love me for what i am, not what i try to be" etc)

i love that "what ive done to you is rotten" is the slap to trina, is not taking to jason about his sexuality, and is Also telling trina and jason he "never ever, wanted to love" them. triple treat of bad parenting lol (but our man gets there in the end #bless him)

"a man kid, you'll be kid, whatever your song" the kind of reversed coming out metaphor of it all. ugh. so good!! (also i always cry at this bit bc... i will never have this with my parents :) rip haha whoops)

"pretty boys are in demand" just a good line for the whole gay men dying everywhere + the 'dating frenzy' energy of the era

"im not a giant man" /"good" // "one day i hope to be / as mature as my son who is 12 and a half / and this tall… that's all i want to be, that's all"

"we'll spent BILLIONS of dollars" and then the actual thing plays the way it does

"making the most pathetical errors" as a metaphor for marvin's arc…. making constant errors in love but making a homerun at the end

"should i take this new promotion OR should i take this IBM job?" is an amazing, anti-corporate lyric that fits greatly w/ the most explicitly political (likely authorial) song in the musical that, imho, shouldn't have been cut in the revival. in hindsight tho i imagine the revival people felt very proud and """progressive""" when they made that cut lol is very much a typical liberal move: "cant have true emancipation or revolutions but u cant have some \~upward mobility in the job market xoxo". also on the same vein, cutting the line "i'll change my life, and hire a maid" from the og "and fire the maid" like it's this huge feminist moment lol ughhhh hh

(other line-cuts that frustrate me… "it's queer, mr. marvin", "i could use a little drink" and "i just bought a family" . i feel w/ all of these they tooks some "edge" of the OG characters and kind of attempted to make them "nicer". but it really just makes them a little flatter, a little less real) ( and also some scenes just plain make less sense (marvin's drink line leading to his outburst)

(but bc it's not All Bad sdklfj in fairness, i belie the whole "why don't we tell him, that we don't have the awnsers? (…) this is the start to his becoming a man" bit - is SUCH a great part for mendel, it goes so hard and from what i remember is not in the original falsettos? correct me if im wrong but if it was a new addition in the revival, imo it's a huge improvement to the scene flow… and dare i say, brings the whole climax together, and spells out The Aesop for people who hadn't gotten it by the end of Act 2) -"let me go, im not ashamed to have loved you" // "what's the matter trina, darling, why cant you let go?" -"feel all right for the rest of your life" The Message of the play implicit in it.. "even if it's cut short"

"you save lives, and i serve chicken fat / i can't fucking deal wit hthat" / "maybe is not dumb the way this whole thing ends / the food tastes really yummy!"

"it's about growing up, getting older, living on a lover's shoulder" /"but i confess, you grow up, you get old, you hate less"

"the ground shifting, the rules keeps changing" and it's when the set changes for the first time!!! (/eats all my walls)

"isn't it enough i love you every night?" "who?" // "we had trouble parking, just like on our second date" "i hyperventilate"

"good men never fail" // "but i can't help but feeling i've failed " proving once again those machista lessons marvin learned when young were wrong.... it's clear that him showing weakness at that moment to whizzer was The Right Thing To Do. and what the moment called for.

"the last little mountain ill climb" sound of music ref? maybe?

i only wanted to love and not be blamed " // "who would i blame my life on?"

[banamine-bananime]

AITA for trying to save my friend and keep the rest of my asshole friends safe from their bad decisions?

I (M26) just went through this real shitty breakup. So basically, my ex C (M lmao man fuck if i know his age idek if knows it. or has one i guess) has this god-fucking-awful habit of deciding to solve every problem by dying about it and/or fucking off without so much as a word to the people unfortunate enough to give a shit about him, except maybe his sister (unhelpful for the rest of us because she also inherited the "fucking off without a word" gene. man fuck this whole family for making me care about them. whatever). Also, killing himself inside peoples brains thats like a whole hobby for him. like okay either ghost us OR kill yourself in front of us altering the trajectory of our lives forever PICK ONE like a NORMAL person.

Okay wait im not explaining this well. So years ago C and W (M37 now) were partners but C was, uh, in a really bad place mentally (S is telling me this is more diplomatic to say than "crazy af") and that situationship ended as badly as a situationship can end. I mean W's told me he pretty much had his sense of identity as someone separate from C totally destroyed by that for a while, which like, in hindsight its kinda an accidental dick move that our team made him take C's legal identity, but in our defense a) the fuck were we supposed to know?, b) tbf he really did need it not to go back to prison, c) it's not like C was using his identity, on account of the fucking off and effectively-dying-as-a-solution habits, and d) i mean. i gotta admit it's also pretty funny in a really fucked way.

aw shit derailed on a tangent again

recently its just like, we just get so focused on one thing its hard to remember anything else, you know?

S is so good at getting us back on track though. thank god because you would not believe the number of irons weve got in the fire to keep track of, its ridiculous. (i love making my partner be the planner in the relationship lol. highly recommend being a passenger princess in the body sometimes. fuck massages, i'm telling you THIS is what you need after a long day getting shit DONE and taking care of everyone else's messes)

So I met C 6 years ago, right out of basic, when we were privates stationed at the same base. middle of nowhere. shit, this is gonna be hard to explain, just realized i should use different names for C to keep them straight. I knew "A" and W knew "E", i didnt meet E until years later. theyre alters and also the same guy but also not the same guy. dont worry about it if you dont get it bc ive dated both of them and i dont think i do. my life is stupid.

Bunch of bullshit happened, A ghosted (lol. you'd be high-fiving me if you knew him) and then found a problem to solve by dying. you get it by now.

Then i meet E, E encounters a problem and tries to die about it round one (i guess round two, after exploding in W <- LOL. you should be high-fiving me right now), E's sister drags him back to the land of the living, E ghosts, W and i start dating, W tries to martyr himself and disappears because i guess E rubbed off on him (dude i am on a fucking roll. you should be high-fiving me out of pity for my glamorously miserable soap-opera life if nothing else. homophobic not to), our team gets W back, E strolls back like he has no idea why im mad at him, we fight about it, makeup-makeouts about it, and E tries to die about it round two: in my brain boogaloo.

So thats how S and i meet. oops, guess i never introduced S? Feels weird to have to introduce ourself twice, people dont really meet us separately anymore LOL. S (M, ageless) is also C's alter, my partner in life and badassery and brain and body. and obviously freaky sex stuff, that goes without saying but i'm saying it anyway to brag. the swish swish to my stabbing people who really deserve it. Not really interested in your opinion on our relationship, it's not what i'm asking about. we're aware its not conventional, because we're not fucking braindead. Im so sick of all the "oooohhhhh this isn't healthy", "he's a male manipulator and youre codependent i know bc i learned psychology from tiktoks by girls with green hair", "why are you wearing your ex-boyfriend's armor colors while wearing his dead ex-boyfriend's armor while dating and sharing a brain with your dead mutual ex's alter", "have you considered going to therapy instead of a quest against death itself" blah blah blah. If youre so bored you need to judge our life then just get your own 🙄🙄🙄

we've been really on that sigma grindset the last few weeks. S has got our sleep optimized down to a tight triphasic 3.46 hours and we're minmaxing the fuck out of the rest of every day. Biohacked to shit over here. too much to do, so we have to make there be enough of our time to do it. who else is gonna? my teammates? the REDS? we're half batman half babysitter to a gaggle of idiots who can barely be trusted to wipe their own asses, let alone fight their own battles and make decisions like "wah wah wah A is dead let's just give up and cry about it or whatever".

Don't even get me started on W. Oh youre all about character-building wake up and grind self-improvement and taking leadership until we're making decisions you dont like, i guess. WHATEVER. this is why we dont listen to you.

its hard, okay. like, you cant understand the sheer fucking stress were under trying to keep all our plans going smoothly while keeping these guys safe while they're basically actively trying to unravel every carefully-laid thread and also strangle themselves in them. im probably going prematurely grey and also losing some time. its hard to remember when we need to hold back and use the kiddy gloves. i really didnt want to come to holding - uh, we'll call him MC (M25) - by the throat, passed-out. he's like a brother to me, been through thick and fucking thin together, so yeah, i feel really bad about that, my bad, we were the asshole there, but like, maybe stop throwing yourself in the way? like run out into the road you're gonna get hit by a truck no matter how hard they slam the brakes. mfw the conses quence. but im NOT asking about that. everyone's been on our dick about "please god stop doing all of this" and abandoning A and trying to break us up way before that, and THAT'S what im asking about

Anyways tl;dr are we the asshole for getting shit done when it takes methods that all our monday morning quarterback friends dont like

_____

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

it really was a dick move to dangle my teammate's limp body in a chokehold even though it was basically an accident and also not even directly relevant to the question

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might not be the asshole:

okay but we're right

[bleachification]

a platonic paradox

pairing: grimmjow x reader

warnings: swearing lol thats it

summary: He loves me... he loves me not… he loves me... he... is an emotionally constipated Arrancar with less than desirable social skills and a pension for jealousy. What could possibly go wrong?

One… two… three… four… five shots later, and reality finally starts to blur at the edges. Fuzzier and fuzzier, the strobe lights turn as they cut across blackened space, glowing in feverish haste. 

Maybe drinking on an empty stomach isn’t the greatest of your ideas, but no one’s coined you as a genius thus far, and you certainly never claimed to be one. Plus, you have a valid reason for knocking back a row of tequila: men. Or, more specifically, one man who goes by the name Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez—the bane of your existence and one of your closest friends. However, friend is a term you use very loosely after the earlier fight.

The mere thought of him incites another scowl from you… and a sixth shot that slides down your throat like oil in a car—smooth and familiar. 

You feel a tap on your shoulder and turn to face the person on your left—a head of ginger pops into view, only to be pushed aside by a tiny girl with an irritated yet concerned expression pasted onto her delicate features. Inoue only smiles as Rukia takes her spot next to you and inspects the row of shot glasses on the booth table in front of you. 

“You need to stop,” Rukia demands. 

You barely register her words over the thumping bass of the speakers. The club is a swarm of warm bodies, alcohol, pulsing lights, and wall-shaking music. Through the haze and humidity, you make out the DJ standing at the south end of the venue, directly opposite your booth. 

“You worry too much.” You wave your hand, dismissing Rukia. 

She tries prying the drink you just ordered from your hands but fails miserably.

“For good reason! We’re going to have to carry you home at this rate.” 

Orihime pats Rukia on the shoulder in a calming manner. It doesn’t quite work, but she tries anyway. Ever the pacifist. 

“I think Rukia’s trying to say that we’re worried about you. What exactly happened?” 

Ichigo appears from the crowd and slides in next to his fiancé, beer in hand. “Yeah, what’s going on? You called us out without explanation and started drinking like you were on a personal mission to destroy your liver.”

“I can handle my liquor.” You roll your eyes at your friends’ questioning looks. 

“Y/N,” Orihime presses. 

You groan. “Fine! Fine.”

They all wait expectantly as you down another drink. Every shot turns the world one degree mistier. 

“Grimmjow and I got into a fight,” you grit out. The words taste like gravel on your tongue. 

The three of them exchange a look. 

You frown. “What?”

“It’s just… isn’t that pretty common?” Ichigo asks. 

“No. We argue, sure, but today he… went too far. He was being an asshole—more so than usual. You’d think he’d be nicer to the person who acclimated him to human society. Stupid overgrown cat,” you huff. 

“What did he say?” Ichigo takes a swig of his beer. 

You pause. The whole argument that led to this moment was dumb. So dumb that you can’t even remember what instigated it. All you recall is the hurt washing over you at the end—a vile, sickening sensation that festered like rot in your chest because of the words Grimmjow bit out right before you walked out the door: You’re nothing special. 

In hindsight, what he said wasn’t even that awful. Yet it shredded you the moment it left his lips. Perhaps you took it so hard because you thought you were special to him—in the same way he is to you. The irritating reality is Grimmjow has grown to become one of your closest confidantes. Your best friend. To be cast aside like that… to mean nothing of importance to him… is a harsh and gutting revelation—one that sets fire to your throat and incinerates whatever affection you had left for him to absolute ash. 

“Nothing of importance,” you mutter. 

The others don’t pry any further, sensing you no longer want to talk about it. They’d be right; you don’t want to talk about it… you don’t even want to think about it, especially since the earlier alcohol-induced buzz has now morphed into full-on drunk goggles. 

“I’m gonna go dance.” You’re already halfway across the dance floor before Rukia scrambles to catch up with you. 

Orihime slides her attention over to her fiancé. “Uh. Kurosaki?”

Ichigo dials a number into his phone and brings it to his ear. “Already on it.”

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

It is 1:58 am, and Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez has never been more miserable in his entire life. Not when he was a mindless hollow, not even when he lost to Ichigo—that orange-haired freak of nature. 

No. The almighty former Espada has been reduced to a mopey mess by a mere human. And an annoying one at that. 

It’s been almost five hours since Grimmjow last heard from you. Four of them he’s spent trying to convince himself you’d come back soon like you always do—with that gentle smile on your face that he’s grown disgustingly accustomed to. 

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. 

Grimmjow clenches the phone in his hand and his arm jerks—almost chucking the device at the insufferable clock ticking in the corner. It is a constant reminder that you haven’t returned to him. He only stops himself from throwing the phone once he remembers how much the hunk of metal had cost him. 

Stupid human inventions. 

If it weren’t for the need to constantly message and call you about, well… anything really, Grimmjow would never have spent a cent on the damned thing. 

The phone clatters onto the coffee table as Grimmjow resumes his prior (pitiful) position on the couch: flat on his stomach, face down, and legs draped over the edge. 

Grimmjow frowns—pouts—into the cushions. Twenty minutes pass. Then thirty. Finally, a vibration cuts through the air. 

Someone’s calling him. 

Grimmjow jerks up and unceremoniously falls off the couch in haste to check the notification. His high hopes are immediately dashed when a familiar contact name comes into view: Prick. His shoulders slump, and he lets it ring a couple of times before lazily thumbing the screen to answer the call. 

“The hell do you want?”

“Are you busy?” Ichigo’s voice is barely perceptible amidst the deafening music blaring through the phone’s speakers. 

Grimmjow grimaces, pulling his ear away from the phone, then glances at the coffee table in front of him. A half-melted tub of chocolate ice cream stares back, a mocking reminder of his dramatics grief. Just above the sugary mess sits a large-screen TV—one currently playing a series of films that fit perfectly under the “romantic comedy” genre. 

Grimmjow turns around and faces away from the scene. Out of sight, out of mind. 

“Who do you think I am? Of course, I’m fucking busy.”

“Right… guess I’ll get Y/N home by mys—“

With keys in hand, Grimmjow is already headed out the door when he gruffly cuts Ichigo off. “Address. Now.”

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Tall, dark, and handsome wraps an arm around your waist as you sway to the suggestive beat. 

Rukia’s long gone. You lost sight of her when the crowd drew you further into the dance floor. You don’t particularly care where the shinigami went—probably back to the booth—as the alcoholic haze clouding your mind bars you from focusing on anything but the gorgeous man next to you. He leans in, clearly interested in something other than dancing, but still asks: “Would you like to dance?”

You study his features. Short black hair sweeps over honey-brown eyes that are shadowed by long lashes. He smirks, showing off a dimple on his left cheek. He’s a looker, for sure. 

Not bad at all, but nowhere near Grimmjow. 

The thought jolts you. Grimmjow has nothing to do with the person beside you. So why is it that every passing second serves as a reminder of him?

You shake those useless thoughts away and plaster a lazy smile on your face. You pull the stranger towards you and wrap your arms around his neck as you move to the beat. He presses up against you, forehead on yours. His lips are millimetres from yours, and his lidded gaze glitters with desire. You welcome it. 

For once, you’re lost to the dizzying heat and drunken thrills of the night, and you’re ready to get lost in the arms of a stranger—someone who, hopefully, will distract you from the man plaguing every dark corner of your mind. 

A tilt of the chin brings you closer to him. He leans in, and you close your eyes, ready for a welcome distraction. But before your lips can meet, the man across from you is harshly yanked back, and a flurry of familiar voices bombards you from all directions. 

You blink twice, trying to take in the scene before you. 

Firstly, Grimmjow is here. He’s clutching so tightly onto your poor dance partner’s shoulder that it’s a miracle his collarbone hasn’t shattered. The guy looks terrified… and for a good reason. Grimmjow is pissed. Hell, even that would be an understatement. An air of rage so heavy you almost mistake it for spiritual pressure ripples off him in waves. His normally cavalier expression is distorted. Gone are his usual smirks or annoyed scowls. In their place sits a mask of absolute crazed, seething fury. If looks could kill, this whole club would be home to a mountain of corpses by now. 

Secondly, the shouts you hear originate from Ichigo and the two girls; all three are trying to push through the crowd to make it to you and the blue-haired psychopath before you. Thanks to the dark atmosphere, overbearing music, and the fact you’re all in an isolated corner of the club, no one else seems to notice the complete disaster unfolding before your eyes. 

Ichigo breaks through the sea of people and immediately hooks his arms under Grimmjow’s. It takes almost all his strength to drag the Arrancar back a metre or two. 

Ichigo struggles to keep Grimmjow at bay. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“I’ll kill you after I get my hands on him. Fucking let go!” Grimmjow pulls free from Ichigo’s grasp and steps toward the other man. 

That split second snaps you to attention, and you run to block him. In less than a second, you’re in front of the other guy and facing a murderous Grimmjow; arms spread out in a protective stance. You wobble a bit and curse yourself for getting this inebriated. 

Grimmjow freezes. The look in his eyes—a strange mixture of annoyance, hurt, and unfathomable anger—makes you uneasy. 

“What, pray tell, are you doing?” You mentally high-five yourself for not slurring your words. It isn’t easy in your current state. 

Grimmjow scoffs. “You’re actually protecting this guy?”

Said guy peeps up with: “Look, I’m sorry. Didn’t realize you had a partner.”

You turn to him and scrunch your nose. “I am not his partner.”

Grimmjow makes a snarling sound behind you. 

You whip back towards him. “And you. Are you insane?! Why the hell would you do that?”

Grimmjow shifts closer. You have to tilt your head up to glare at him. His breath fans your face as he answers. 

“He put his hands on you. You think I’m just gonna let that shit slide?” He’s speaking low. Rough. Dangerous. 

You open your mouth to retort, only to find yourself dangling upside down from Grimmjow’s shoulder. He just hauled you up like a sack of flour. 

This bastard. 

As if on instinct, you immediately start wiggling in his grasp and thumping on his back, yelling at him to put you down. The struggling only drives him to tighten his hold on you as he marches the two of you out the club doors. 

“Keep doing that, and I’ll drop you.”

Bastard move. 

“Put me down!” You let out a yell in irritation. Grimmjow pretends not to hear you. 

From your peripheral vision, you catch sight of Rukia, followed by the other two, scrambling to catch up. Orihime apologizes profusely to the bouncer at the door for the commotion caused by the man carrying you. 

“Ichigo, help!” 

Ichigo only shakes his head in disappointment as Grimmjow increases his pace. 

Traitor. 

Maybe it’s the liquid courage. Or perhaps it’s because you’ve finally lost it, but you raise a hand and land a hard smack on Grimmjow’s ass. 

He stiffens. “What the f-“

“I’ll do it again if you don’t put me down this instant, you goddamn psychopath,” you warn. 

Instead of complying, he shifts you until you’re being carried in his arms bridal-style. He just cut off your accessibility to his ass. Although you can’t ponder that disappointment for too long, the realization of what he’s about to do dawns on you when he takes a slow step backward. 

“Grimmjow, don’t you dare-“Your own shriek cuts you off as he rips through the air and propels you toward the sky. You can only tighten your hold on his neck and bury your face in his shoulder as biting winds whip around you at the speed of light. Despite the cool night air, Grimmjow is warm to the touch. In less than five seconds, you’re staring at the front door of his apartment. 

The son of a bitch just sonido-ed you across the city. 

Grimmjow finally puts you down as he fishes the keys from his pocket. The whole time he hasn’t said a single word to you. 

“Why are we here?” You reluctantly follow him into the familiar unit. 

He has his back turned to you. Broad shoulders hunch over as he removes his shoes. Three seconds later, he flops onto the couch while running a hand down his face, quietly letting out a sigh of exhaustion and a hint of something else. 

You sit in the spot next to him and pull your legs up. You shift until you’re facing him and only inches away. 

You poke him in the stomach. It’s a habit you have that Grimmjow complains about constantly, but he never actually takes any action to stop it. 

“Hey. Answers. Now,” you interrogate. 

He lazily peeks at you; head still lolled back on the back of the couch. Grimmjow moves and his shifting weight causes you to dip forward. Typically, you’d be able to straighten yourself up. However, drunk you has precisely zero sense of balance, so you topple right into Grimmjow’s lap. 

Grimmjow almost jumps out of his skin at the unexpected contact. You feel your cheeks flame up in embarrassment as you try to push yourself back up, only to lose your balance again and fall back against him. Your face presses up against his stomach, and the heat clouds all your senses. You feel even drunker than before. 

“For fucks sake.” Tired of your struggling, Grimmjow pulls you up until you’re sat in his lap and face-to-face with him. You try to ignore the fact that you’re basically straddling him. You really try to ignore his hands resting on the side of your thighs. The contact causes something within you to flare up—an unsettling feeling you push away to the furthest corner of your mind. 

“Well, this is nice. We’ve reached a new level of friendship now,” you snort. Thankfully, your stable tone doesn’t betray your wavering nerves. 

Grimmjow’s jaw tenses. “Right. Friendship.” 

You almost reel back. He spits that last part out like it is laced with poison. A sting of disappointment shoots through you, and you move to get off him. Right now, you want to be as far away from him as possible in fear of Grimmjow seeing the tears that have begun to prick the back of your eyes. 

If he hates being your friend that badly, then there’s no way he’d ever reciprocate… 

“Hey. You crying?”

To your surprise, Grimmjow grabs you by the hips and pulls you back, caging his huge arms around you to prevent you from escaping. His eyebrows furrow as he leans in to examine your face. You muster up every ounce of willpower to suck the tears back into the confines of your eyelids. 

“You look like a bug,” Grimmjow murmurs. 

You pinch his cheek with a scowl, mind briefly wiped of your previous grievances. 

“Bastard.”

He doesn’t even flinch. “You stopped crying.”

“I never started,” you retort. 

He makes a noncommittal noise. 

“What?”

He grunts, eyes still fixated on your own. “Trying to figure out why you ran away.”

You gape at him. He has to be kidding. Right?

“Okay, first of all, I did not run away; I left because you pissed me off. Second of all, are you serious? 

Your exasperation only fuels his confusion. Grimmjow’s face scrunches, and he tilts his head only slightly, but enough to emphasize how baffled he is by this whole situation. 

You falter. This whole night you have agonized over his words, never once considering that he may not find fault in what he said. Maybe he never intended to hurt you and only meant to state a fact: that you simply don’t mean anything special to him.

Do you occupy such a minuscule part of his heart? Given that he takes up all the space you have to offer in yours, it is an unnecessarily cruel twist of fate.

You steel yourself. Grimmjow is your friend. Nothing less… and certainly nothing more. He has drawn that line very clearly—in bright, irreversible red. 

“Forget it. It’s nothing,” you murmur.

He shoots you a look; he doesn’t believe you. “Oi. Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not lying,” you insist. 

His eyes narrow, and he slowly drawls your name. Irritation coats the word like honey as he presses you for a different answer. 

With a shake of your head, you cement your refusal to budge. Nothing good could come from that conversation, and you would rather suffer in silence than lose Grimmjow as a friend—which is the only outcome you can fathom. 

“I… it doesn’t matter. Not like you’d care.” The last part is practically inaudible to the human ear. Unfortunately for you, Grimmjow’s senses are anything but human. 

He stiffens, looking like he’d just been slapped hard. “What the fuck are you on about? Who told you that? I’ll kill ‘em.”

“No one told me Grimmjow… no one other than you, at least. It’s obvious you don’t care to be friends anymore,” you scoff and look away, too anxious to meet his eyes. 

Every single muscle of Grimmjow’s goes rigid. You sneak a glance at him and pause at the storm brewing in his gaze. Tides of emotions threaten to overwhelm one another, but at the forefront of the tumultuous battle flashes an intensity you are very familiar with: desperation. 

Grimmjow tips his chin down, lessening the gap between your faces… and lips. What comes out of his mouth next scarcely breaks above a whisper, but the words themselves bear a threatening weight. 

“Obvious to who? Because last time I checked, you’re the only human I ever speak to willingly, the only person whose touch I don’t find repulsive, and the only one who can mouth off to me in my own damn house and not die for it. So tell me, Y/N, who is that obvious to? Because it sure as hell ain’t me,” he snarls. 

You blink. That sobers you up. Any and all words dying in your throat as you take in everything. You only manage to find your voice again after a minute of deliberation. 

“Then why did you say that I wasn’t special? You’re giving me mixed signals here,” you whisper. 

Realization dawns on him like an iron curtain as your response dwindles in the hushed air. He shifts again. This time, switching his grip on your thigh to the curve of your waist. His hands settle firmly, yet gently, on your side, and the warmth resonates through your bloodstream, making it increasingly difficult to focus on the present situation. You try anyway. 

“Is that why you ran away?”

You roll your eyes. “I didn't run.”

He shrugs. “My bad. Is that why you abandoned me?”

For a split second, Grimmjow’s sulking reminds you of a kicked puppy.  A crass, six-foot-one puppy with blue fur and murderous tendencies. Your fingers twitch with an almost overwhelming desire to run them through his hair. You settle for flicking him in the forehead instead. 

“Don’t be so dramatic. You’re acting like I fled the country rather than go to a club ten minutes away.” You absently brush a stray strand of his hair aside, not thinking much of it. Grimmjow, however, sucks in a sharp breath and you pause as a glint of something flits across his gaze… something intimate. 

A trick of the light, surely. 

 “You–” Speech morphs to muffled protests as you press a hand to Grimmjow’s mouth, effectively cutting off whatever he was going to say. 

“You still owe me some answers,” you remark.

“Mmm… to what?” He’s getting sleepier; the lull in his voice is a clear indication. Warmth blooms across your skin as Grimmjow droops forward and nestles his head into the crook of your shoulder, leaning into you as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. 

“How about why you ruined my perfectly good night out?” You feel his head turn, breath hot like coals against your neck. A chill shoots down your spine at the slight contact, and you ignore the tingling sensation in your stomach that feels an awful lot like butterflies—millions and millions of them. 

He scowls. “What, you’re that upset over not seeing lover boy again?” His arms tighten around you, “You could’ve had a better night with me. Here. Like this.” 

You draw in a sharp breath as his forehead meets yours. Space is a minuscule concept now as his face hovers mere centimetres from yours. Your mind swims with a torrent of mixed feelings and thoughts. 

“Grimmjow…”

“I’m sorry.”

You blink. “Huh?”

“For what I said. I didn’t mean it—any of it. Swear on my life.” His voice is strained, as if not used to the taste of those words on his tongue. 

You want to believe him, truly. But the emotional, irrational side of you forsakes that possibility. 

You’re nothing special. 

The knife in your heart, previously forgotten, now twists again as you recall his words. For a brief second, you wonder if it would be better to feel nothing at all. To bear an empty chest, much like the hollow hole carved into the Arrancars. Perhaps that’s what you need—to lose your heart and live as they do, void of all sensations that make up human nature. 

“It’s fine, Grimmjow. You don’t… experience things like I do. It’s not your fault I got upset over such a trivial matter,” you sigh. 

He pulls back, something akin to guilt and shock shuttering across his handsome face. “So I did hurt you.”

You swallow, unsure how to face this new vulnerability of his. 

“Tell me how to fix this. How to fix us,” he pleads.

“There is no us,” you say. The distance between you and Grimmjow is practically nonexistent, yet you find yourself unable to face him. 

“Bullshit,” he spits. 

You shake your head, a migraine already forming in its center. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Grimmjow. I can never seem to understand what you want!” Your anger rises with each sentence, but you don’t stop and let the emotion fuel you, “I saw us as friends. Best friends. But then you go and act like I’m nothing to you, only to turn around and get all pissy like a fucking cat marking its territory when I dare spend my night with someone who isn’t you. So for the love of god, what do you want from me?!”

“I want you.”

Your head snaps up. “What?”

“Next to me, in my bed in the morning, in my arms. Wherever I am, whenever it is… I want you with me,” he states plainly. Too casual, acting as if he didn’t just drop the biggest bomb on you, wiping every semblance of your anger away with pure, unbridled shock. 

You ignore your racing pulse and focus on the intensity of his gaze instead. “You don’t believe in romance. You told me that.”

“I didn’t believe in many things before I met you.” He presses a searing kiss to the inside of your palm before leaning into it, your touch a familiar comfort. 

“Like what?”

Heaven. Home. Love, probably.

He grunts. “Secret.”

“That’s not fair,” you tease. The hope rising within you gives way to giddiness and a whole new sensation: relief. 

Grimmjow wants you the same way you want him. Perhaps even more so. 

“What’s not fair is being iced out for a whole day while waiting for you, only to witness that thing wrapped around you like some fucking parasite.”

“He was not a parasite.”

“Looked like one to me. Ugly. Small. Easy to step on.”

“You called me a bug earlier. Doesn’t that mean we’re meant to be?” You’re torturing him at this point. It's incredibly amusing. 

Grimmjow’s eyes darken. Two slits of obsidian that burn with jealousy and something else under the surface. Something even more dangerous. 

“Say that again.”

You only laugh. It is a light sound that eases the tension in both the air and Grimmjow’s shoulders. He’s missed your laugh—craves it more than a drowning man would for air. 

After a few seconds longer, he inevitably feels his lips pull upwards into a crooked smile—a special kind that appears solely in your presence. 

Your giggles falter into a faint smile when you notice Grimmjow smirking at you. He absently draws circles on your hip with his fingers, lazily tracing the curve of your back as you ask: “What exactly are we?”

“Dunno,” he half-mumbles, too preoccupied with snuggling into your neck. 

You let out a soft chuckle as his hair tickles your cheek. “Grimmjow.”

He groans, the sound reverberating against the skin of your collarbone—the place his mouth presses against. ”Does it matter? You’re mine. I’m yours. All I care about.”

“This won’t be easy,” you say. 

“Yeah, well, I signed up for you, which is anything but easy. So don’t worry,” he pulls back slightly so that you’re both face to face. “I know exactly what I’m getting myself into. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

You barely register Grimmjow’s words before he leans in and roughly kisses you. 

And it is the best damn kiss of your life. 

[kanmom51]

JK live 3/8/2023 10:26 pm or 22:26 KST

**This post was written by @dgtn. Little me added some of my own insight. As a whole this was a joint effort put together by the two of us.

A huge thank you to @dgtn for helping me with this.💜

And a shoutout to JK for taking a couple of days off to allow us some time to try and catch up, lol.

So let's just jump right into it.

JK came live to us on 3 August 2023.  With hindsight we know that he was performing at Suga's concert the next day and the busy schedule he was talking about included rehearsing for that most enjoyable performance.

When he first turns on the live all we get is a chair, curtains, and a stove top vent. Same angle as the previous live. You know, the one I personally feel there was someone in the apartment with him. Kinda feels like we were put in time out! (some ARMY deserves to be put in time out but I digress).   Also, lights dimmed, like he likes (which once again makes me think that in the previous live when he turned them way brighter it was for someone else's benefit).

We can hear him whistling and singing in the background and getting a drink with ice.  Then he talking to himself:

“I have to take medicine!  That’s right” – he is still not feeling well.

“when do I clean my house? I’ll have to do a big cleanup”.   He’s been busy with other things, you know, conquering the world!  But of course domestic kookie places high priority on things being clean.

At around the 2 minute mark he finally comes into focus on the screen.  Typical cutie kookie, comes shuffling in wearing very cozy looking top (by one of his current fave brands, mihara Yasuhiro) with one of his signature beanies (which he takes off pretty quick after he realises, from the comments, that the beanie is same colour as the background and it looks like he has no hair - same effect as a green screen, lol).  He waves to the camera. Then he disappears again!!!!  Finally returns at around the 2 minute mark, sits down with his drink and says “hi”.

First words out of his mouth after greeting us: “I’m so tired”.  These 3 words set the tone for the whole live.  The man is exhausted!  Conquering the world requires a lot of energy.  Especially when it’s done in the span of about 10 days.  He looks absolutely toasted. Well, toasted and sick. Imagine having to do all this while sick. And suffering from insomnia to top it all off.

He stares at the camera for a while, my guess is he at first is zoned out and starts reading comments that are popping up (to himself). 

“I’m sleepy”.

“I have to wash up.”  This is I think one of the things he absolutely hates doing at the end of the day.  I get it.  I will be honest, I have had many a day that I have said fuck it I’m so tired I’m going to bed with all my make up on, only to wake up in the morning looking like a raccoon.  I feel you JK.

Almost immediately he starts dealing with the usual stupid comments.  I don’t think the man could be any clearer when he says “Don’t call me Ian”   with a slight chuckle. You know the one he does when he’s really just over it but is still trying to be polite?  Hasn’t he said this before?  Like many times.  But of course there are those who refuse to believe that he might actually really not like being called Ian because they just keep on doing it.  It’s almost as if they care more about their needs and what they want to say then about how it makes JK feel……hmmmm.  Yeah, do we really have to ask ourselves that question?  Of course they care more about their own wants and needs.  If they actually cared about JK’s needs and wants we wouldn’t be getting the “Ian” comments, or the “speak English” comments, or the “touch your nose” or “why aren’t you acknowledging my comment?” and so on and so forth.

Our ever polite JK flat out says don’t call me Ian and then it’s almost like an instant response to dial back the intensity with a little laugh.  But the message is still loud and clear.  He doesn’t like that name.

Then we get “Really” followed by him looking away from the camera in an uncomfortable way for a few moments.  Maybe he was wishing that all those stupid ass Ian comments would magically vanish.

And yet, once again ignoring his wishes later on in the live someone pulls the “Kor-Ian” joke.  Huh huh huh…

“I really want to sleep early today.  I guess I’ve been having insomnia lately.  I can’t fall asleep. I’m so sleepy, but I can’t sleep.  I can’t fall asleep.”  Our energizer bunny has never been good at falling asleep and I’m sure with his crazy schedule around the release of Seven it’s been even tougher.  Oh, and let’s not forget that when Jimin is not available that complicates things for him even more.  When you are used to sleeping with your partner next to you and then your schedule changes and doesn’t allow for that, it can be very difficult to sleep! Also, did anyone mention neuro divergent?

Next he reassures us that he ate dinner.  What are we, his parents?????  Long pause and drumming of the fingers on the table.  Seems like he is waiting for a good question to answer.  Doesn’t look like it’s going to happen so eventually he says  “I hung up lights in front”.  He’s taking charge of the conversation because he can’t count on us.

He starts talking about the TikTok Live.

How when he turned it on something weird kept popping up and can he turn it off (he’ll come back to this).

The man is tired!  He’s going to finish his drink and go to bed. 

Then he starts looking around his apartment saying it’s such a mess and he needs to clean it and throw out all the useless things.  (around 5:00 min. mark). First off, never come to my house JK cause you’d be horrified and from what we’ve seen of his place there’s not much there to throw out so I’m not really sure what he’s talking about?  There is barely anything left (it’s almost as if he’s been slowly moving things out 😊).  Well, unless if he’s talking about all the old dorm furniture, including very possibly that TV that doesn’t seem to work properly, given that sooner rather than later there will be a brand new home to be moving into, and we’ll be doing that, I must assume, not with old dorm furniture.

Now back to Tik Tok “I can’t turn it off? Then don’t send it.  Why do you send that?  Don’t send it.  No!  I can just not do it” – sounds to me like he is talking about ARMY sending him gifts during his Tik Tok lives.  He’s asking ARMY not to do that anymore and wondering why it’s being done in the first place.  And him saying he can just not do it…does that mean no more Tik Tok lives if he continues to get gifts?  People, hear the man and stop sending him gifts!!!!! 

“Everyone! The cold didn’t die out, but it came back again.  So I went to the hospital yesterday.  Colds are so severe this time around.  It’s so annoying” (said twice).  When something is important enough, he’ll repeat it even over several lives if necessary (don’t call me Ian).  JK gets distracted by the refrigerator.  He says it’s loud whenever he does a live broadcast. 

***Observation about JK.  The only one who can truly hold his attention is Jimin.  If Jimin is not there, you can guarantee he will be distracted; this includes his live.  He is easily distracted.  Well, unless JM is there, or on screen.***

He’s asked if he is resting to which he replies: “I don’t have a few days to rest. I’m busy.”  (6:20 mark)  Back to ARMY assuming the parent role…when will people realize the man is 25 years old!

JK goes back to talking about his cold. Says he’s getting stressed.

Then says “yes don’t send that on tik tok.  Buy and eat something delicious.  I don’t know how much that is.  But don’t do it (shaking his head and hand at the screen). I shouldn’t do tik tok live.

Since then I think he turned off the gift option, so perhaps that will allow for more TikTok lives in the future?

“I’m not in great condition. I just wanted to see you, so I came”.   

So, when he is not feeling well, he comes to ARMY to help him feel better.  We’ve heard that from him so many times, army are a source of comfort to him. 

He is being honest with us.  He makes a point in repeating this time and time again.  When he wants to drive in a message he tends to do that.  Tell us on repeat.  That he loves us.  That we are a source of comfort to him.  That he wants to be our friend.  That he’s not in touch with Tae.  That he has no use for his computer.  That he’s not gaming anymore.  That he’s not going to game ever again (yet to come).  Hammering in, repeating, sending a message.

And then he’s back to his house being a mess.  He says he should clean it when he has a day off as he is looking around in disappointment.  Again, don’t ever come to my house!  Also, can he not afford a cleaner?  Like seriously.

He says his house looks clean but it’s a storage room (ahm…yes?  The old dorm storage room I’d say).  It’s curious that he uses the words storage room to describe his apartment.  Why use that term? This is coming from someone who supposedly had a mattress laying in each room of his house in the past. What makes the apartment look like a storage room then? Like I said, could it be the dorm stuff being used/stored there? Yet another piece of the puzzle as to Brunnen being a temporary crash pad and not an actual HOME?

He says he has to take medicine but he’s too lazy.  Lazy is not a word I would ever use to describe JK.  Being neuro divergent myself (@dgtn), when I think of things I have to do, if it isn’t something I am excited about or want to do, it very quickly falls to the bottom of my to do list.  Sometimes even gets forgotten.

In between yawns he tells us that he went to the company today briefly because of his schedule.  And while he was there, he ate and he should’ve taken his medicine but he didn’t.  See here he says he forgot to.

Now it’s time to watch tv but sadly the network isn’t working for him.

So the house is a mess and the network is shot.  He asks what is wrong with this house?  LTE isn’t working and neither is the internet!

Now he’s going to fiddle with the tv and see if he can magically make it work.  At one point he is actually side eyeing the tv.  Maybe I should try that next time too.  The TV is still not working and now he’s getting stressed (there’s that word again).  Next thing he’s off screen talking to something asking what is wrong with you.  When all else fails…..reboot.  Still nothing, and now he starts smacking the remote on his leg. (after 4 minutes of trying).  Around 6 minutes into trying almost everything he decides the tv doesn’t work after the last rain fall and he needs to get rid of it or something with a little giggle.

Now back to ARMY.  He says thank you to ARMY for worrying about him.  He starts laughing when someone says he should drink warm water instead of iced water. He proclaims that he will always choose iced.

And now he’s back to the tv again, saying it’s the house’s fault not the tv and he’s gonna try something else.

“I get pretty determined” ….. no kidding JK!  Now where have I seen him be determined before….let me think….oh yes….Jimin!

Finally, after about 11 minutes he decides it’s useless to keep trying.

Back to ARMY again.  Now he’s making a peace sign to show that he saw a comment and then starts making bubbles in his water.

He reads “can I see the lip spike?”  Doesn’t understand what that means.

***observation.  He really really wants to spend time with ARMY but is having a hard time finding comments worth responding too.  It’s all about the friendship.  Talking with us.  Having a meaningful conversation with us.  And when he doesn’t find that in the comments, he goes to tv and that’s not working either so back it is looking through comments.

Someone is asking for an air kiss (never gave one by the way).

Someone asked about his next shoot with CK to which he responds with “I don’t know”.  Cheeky JK then laughs and says “do you think I would tell you that?”  So there are limits to what JK will share with ARMY!  Good for him, start putting those boundaries in place!!!!!  “There are confidential things” – in other words I’m not going to tell you so back the fuck off!!!!

He reads that his voice makes someone sleepy to which he laughs and says it might be because he speaks so monotonously…. Ok JK, go ahead and sell yourself short.

He called out someone for asking him to infect them. To which he responds, “that is not okay”.  His polite way of saying That is seriously messed up.  Who says things like this! That may actually be the cringiest comment in this whole live.  People have zero boundaries. 

He wants to sing for us but he is not in great condition and he says he is sorry (always thinking of ARMY’s feelings).

“Bunny” he pauses with a little smirk after reading that.  My guess is he still likes his nickname.

What to do next since the tv isn’t working.  He wants to do something fun with ARMY and it’s pretty obvious he’s bored with all the stupid comments. 

He says the house is ridiculous cause nothing works … sounds like he might be used to being somewhere where everything does work…

He says he can’t fall asleep with us on this live because he needs to wash up.

Now we have JK personal trainer answering questions about diet and exercise. 

“I’m on a diet lately.  What’s the best exercise? Cardio is good for diets. But if…if you run to much it’s bad on your knees.  It could be too much.  There are cardio exercises that are less harsh on your knees.” He makes a rowing motion with his arms and says this is good.  My guess is he is talking about an elliptical machine.  “In the house, there’s the one where you grab on and the arms and legs go together, right?” Was this a slip of the tongue?  Which house? Whose house? Or did he mean the gym?  Yeah, not buying the last one, and we saw that he doesn’t have an elliptic at Brunnan.  I’m going with slip of the tongue.  Same slip of the tongue that RM had in their LA live back way when he was talking about the café they have next to their home.  All signs are pointing at a certain home of which we only got to see the gaming room and part of the lounge room…

Well, at least that was more interesting than the Ian jokes or the “infect me” comment… Also, maybe if I had JK as a personal trainer I’d actually be excited to go to the gym regularly.  Well, that after being totally ashamed of the state I’m in to start with…

“We’re family” comment.  He replies with a hmmm. And a small head shake.

Family, friends, all good. Just as long as it’s not bf or husband.  Oh, and not oppa either.  Yuck.

And back to the issue of the tv again.  It seems someone asked him why it doesn’t work.  He talks about being in the mountains so Wi-Fi doesn’t consistently work.  And he fought with the Wi-Fi ahead of time today because he knew he was going to be doing the live. (was this planned?  Knowing he’s in Brunnen alone and going live for army?)  He talks about turning over the house once (I’m thinking he means turning it over once and for all and being done with it) he says it’s too stressful and he can’t live this way.

On to the Seven CD cover and the words overlapping.  He says it’s for real and on purpose.

Comments he’s reading:

I haven’t been working out much lately.

Even if I wanted to, he can’t listen to much music right now so what do I do?

He asks what does “air kiss” mean? Now we get flirty JK.  He says it’s not a hand kiss and asks if its’ this and shows a kiss. (around 29 minute mark).  Then he laughs and says “Do you like that.  Isn’t talking like this better?”   Naughty JK!!!

Now he’s wondering if an air kiss is in fact a whistle!  Then he finally figures it out!  A kiss with your hand to your mouth!  “That’s Jin’s signature!” (30 minute mark)

“I can’t sing cause I have a sore throat” … all in English.  He actually says cause, but it’s translated as because.  I love how he very properly uses English slang by saying “cause” instead of “because”. 😊

Remember when I talked about the gaming and said “yet to come”?  Well here we are, once again with the computer.  He’s asked if he sold his computer as he had mentioned he was going to do on a previous live.  He’s not going to sell it, just get rid of it.  He doesn’t use it anymore, just uses a laptop for work.  He says he’s never going to play games. 

***observation…was that his way of telling us he does not game with Tae and/or the woogas anymore?????  First time he said he’s not using his computer anymore my thought was, well he’s gaming at JM’s.  But this here, it’s the second time he’s said he’s not playing games anymore, and this time it’s with an exclamation mark.  NEVER.  And do we remember what we said about him repeating messages he wants to get through?  Hammering them in.  Repeating them. Yep.  Interesting.

And today, after the premiere crap yesterday it is making even more sense. JK was invited to that premiere. JK did not show at the premiere. JK could have had a schedule that prevented him from going, that is true. Could have also 'missed' it intentionally. Not wanting to show up at the premiere. A choice made. Just like the choices made answering the Tae comments setting people straight or the choice to repeat he's not gaming anymore.

Topic of religion:

“I don’t have a religion.  They’re Christian on my dad’s side. And Buddhist on my mom’s side.  There was nothing like that since my time.  Nothing was forced either.  That’s why I have no religion.” 

“They’re Christian on my dad’s side.” – as in his dad family, but most likely not his dad.  He’d say his dad is Christian, not use that wording about his dad’s family. Same with his mom.  Parents simply must not be religious, hence the home not being religious either way.

*** Was this his way of debunking the bullshit rumors about him and Yubi?  I applaud you JK!!!

He tells people if they are hungry during the live broadcast to go ahead and eat!! 

***observation: Why are people constantly asking him for his permission to do things!!!! Maybe because he asks them if he can go to the loo as well?  Lol.

Now he’s talking about his jacket asking ARMY if they like it.  He says he’s been wearing it a lot lately and there is a long and short version of it.  He wore the short sleeve version when he did the dance challenge with Mingyu.  He goes on to say he should’ve bought several of them!

Ok, so we know it’s a brand he’s been wearing lately.  JM as well.  We also know that JK has the tendency to buy multiples of things he likes.  Hint to bf to buy in multiples next time?  Lol.

Now the album:

He’s not sure when it’ll come out. (34:30 mark) He’s got to try something…. Curious!!!

Someone says they had a nice dream about him and his response: “really”.  That’s it, nothing else.  I felt like this was his way of acknowledging the comment and then dismissing it.  Again … Kinda cringey.

He’s asked about a new hobby, and he says he doesn’t have any but then he decides live broadcasts are his hobby. (around 35:00 minute mark)

***Observation.  He is SO damn tired at this point.  You can tell he is fading and needs to go to sleep.

His current favorite food is Perilla oil makguksu (buckwheat noodles).  They always turn out good for him! The colder the better! (36:00 mark)

He won first place again!  Thank you!  Our always gracious JK bows his head and says thank you twice.  And a third time 😊

Now we get someone saying that they can’t understand his live because they don’t speak Korean.  (38:46 mark). Good lord, here we go again…His response in a nutshell…it’s hard for him to understand English so perhaps we can both study the languages and learn together.  “Let’s all study.  You should study Korean.  Our Korean, please study it.  It’s also tough for me.  How frustrated must I be as well? Try starting Korean!”

***Observation:  This man is so done with all this speak English bullshit.  He is Korean!!  That is his native language.  He is learning English but would love for people to meet him halfway.  You know that mutual respect that he has been talking about more recently.  That respect that he is looking for from ARMY.

So now we’ve come to that point.  He wasn’t intending on doing the live for that long.

Sleeping for him is hard, he will close his eyes for about 4 hours and fidget the whole time.  He’s going to go wash up and if he wakes up, he’ll come back.  But don’t wait up for him!!!!

Well, I guess he fell asleep cause he did not come back live again that night 😊

Before I end this let's talk about the necklace a second here. It's dark and the video quality is not great to say the least, but he is wearing the necklace with the ring, and it does look like the same one he's wearing in his live the next night (or morning after next night, depending on your pov, lol). And although the chain seems to be different than JM's in Like crazy, that ring, it looks pretty identical. Anyway, something that will be discussed in next post about next live, which I have not yet gone to see, because I really need to brace myself for that 2.5 hr. live (silently crying inside).

And to think that feeling this way JK went on stage the next day and performed with Yoongi. And to top it all he was so hard on himself for forgetting some of Burn it lyrics. I do hope that he is allowing himself some time to rest and heal at the moment. Probably not. But here's hoping.

[bellaireland1981]

Starting Over | 5

Summary: You come home to work to find your husband of three years in bed with your supposed best friend. It’s the wake up call you finally needed to take your two year old daughter and get the hell out of Texas. With nowhere to go you head to your big brother in San Diego. The sagger squad takes you under their wings, and shows you what having a family means. You get a fresh start… will you find your happily ever after?

Characters: Jake “hangman” Seresin x Sister! Reader, Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x Seresin! Reader (Eventually), Hangman x Phoenix (eventually) , Adorable OC Gracie!   The Dagger squad

Word Count: 11.1k -- not even sorry lol. Giving you more for being patient!

Warnings: Angst, cheating husband, emotional abuse, eventual fluff, smut in later chapters, Sweet uncle Jake, Adorable Rooster with a toddler… if I miss any please let me know.

A/N: I don’t own the characters or storyline for Top Gun Maverick. All OC’s are mine. I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION FOR ANYONE TO COPY OR REPOST MY WORK TO ANY OTHER PLATFORM! DON’T STEAL! Reblogs, likes and comments ALWAYS welcomed. THANK YOU @waywardodysseys​ and  @beyondthesefourwalls​ as always for reading over my work and helping me flush out ideas!!

Taglist is open! If I missed anyone who asked to be tagged, please fill out this GOOGLE FORM  to be added. It’s getting to hard to keep track of asks.

CH 1  CH 2  CH 3  Ch 4

True to his word, the following Monday, Bradley was on your doorstep bright and early ready for babysitting duty. Jake was getting Gracie breakfast while you finished getting ready for court. You were meeting your lawyer a half hour before you were due in court to go over everything. She wanted to discuss correspondence she’d received from Trent’s lawyer before going into the hearing.

“It’s open!” Jake yelled when Bradley rang the doorbell.

Bradley came through the front door as you were walking out to the living room. You picked out a green sheath dress with a navy blue fitted ¾ length sleeve jacket and navy pumps. You pulled your hair back into a low messy bun with tendrils hanging around your face. You’d kept the makeup to a minimum, not wanting to have to worry about any running in the event you cried.

“You look really pretty, Y/N.” Bradley said, offering you a sweet smile, “You feeling ok for today?”

“Thank you,” You smiled back. “I’m nervous… like…REALLY… nervous.”

“You’ve got nothing to worry about, Sweetheart.” He said, “It’s going to go your way. No judge would rule in favor of that douche.”  

“I just want the whole thing over and to be free, but I have a bad feeling it’s going to drag out.” You said. “I can’t thank you enough though for taking off work to stay with Gracie. It means so much to me.”

“It’ll be over soon, and all in your past.” He said, “You don’t have to thank me, Sweetheart. I get to spend the day with a Princess. That’s better than work.”

“Even when work involves flying F-18s at stupid speeds?” You challenged, smiling.

“Even then.” He confirmed, not missing a beat.

“Hey Rooster.” Jake said, poking his head out from the kitchen. “I made extra if you’re hungry. Gracie is finishing up her waffles now. I just have to change shirts quickly… in hindsight, I should have known better than to get dressed before serving waffles and syrup to a toddler.”

“Rookie move, Bubs.” You laughed, “We’ve got a little time though so go ahead and change, I’ll hold down the fort here.”

“Then you’ll get sticky from the syrup.” Jake pointed out.

“I’ll handle the syrup situation.” Bradley said, walking into the kitchen, “Go change. It’s my turn with Princess Gracie.”

“WOOSTA!” She exclaimed, holding up very sticky fingers and making grabby hands towards Bradley. “We pway?”

“Good Morning, Baby Girl.” He beamed at Gracie, “Are you all done eating? Or are you still hungry?”

“All done!” She said, “Up pwease!”

“Let me wipe the stickiness from your fingers and face then we’ll play ok?” He compromised, wetting a cloth under the kitchen faucet, before picking her up.

“Otay!” She agreed.

“I laid out some play clothes for her on her bed and the diaper bag is packed if you wanted to go anywhere, the keys to my car are hanging up on the hook by the door.” You said, “You can move the car seat over to your Bronco if you’d rather drive that.”

“We’ll be just fine.” He promised, “Princess Gracie and I are going to have lots of fun today.”

“Thank you again, Bradley.” You said, smiling, “It really means a lot to me.”

“Sweetheart, please stop thanking me.” He laughed, “I will never turn down a playdate with this sweet girl.”

“See, Rooster,” Jake teased, coming in with a clean shirt on and tucked in. “Your dating life is picking up after all.”

“Jakey, be nice!” You admonished your big brother. “Your tie is crooked too, come here.”

“He’s not wrong.” Bradley laughed good naturedly, “My dating life is nonexistent… but I have a feeling hanging out with Gracie is better than any date I’ve been on recently.”

“Well mine is and will remain nonexistent for the foreseeable future.” You said, tying Jake’s tie so it was straight. “There, all better.”

“Thanks Tulip.” He said, flashing you a soft smile, “Let’s go get this first step to your freedom taken care of. Gotta get you back up on that horse.”

“I don’t think that’s the right analogy here, Jakey.” You said, rolling your eyes.

“I think it’s absolutely the right analogy, Sweetheart.” Bradley winked.

“I love you, Gracie Girl.” You said, leaning in to kiss your daughter, “Be good for Bradley. Mommy will see you this afternoon when we get back.”

“Wuv you Mommy!” Gracie said smiling, perfectly content to have time with her ‘Woosta’.  

You and Jake arrived at the courthouse and were greeted by your lawyer.

“Thank you for meeting me before we go in.” She said, “I have a small meeting room booked, we can go in and go over what we have so far.”

“Thank you.” You replied, following her to the room. Once inside, you remembered to introduce her to Jake. “This is my brother Jake.”

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Lauren Kennedy.” She replied, shaking Jake’s hand.

“Nice to meet you too, Ma’am.” Jake smiled, “Thank you for all you’re doing for my sister.”

“I am absolutely happy to help.” She replied, “Especially after some interactions I’ve had with Trent and his lawyer… I’m even happier to help.”

“Is this going to be drawn out?” You asked, your shoulders tensing with the prospect of being stuck longer in this situation. “I don’t even care if I walk away with absolutely nothing. I just need to be free.”

“Not necessarily.” She said, offering a soft smile, “As we discussed last week, he did contest the divorce and also the same day countersued for custody. This, in itself is a contradiction and I would argue shows it’s all a power move on his part. I’ve had several conversations with the attorney that he has hired as well as a few rambling emails and voicemails from Trent himself since that initial contact.”

“He’s already admitted he never wanted Gracie and has since said so on voicemail.” Jake seethed, “That piece of shit doesn’t deserve Gracie. He’s never been involved in her life even when she was living under the same roof.”

“That admission will certainly help strengthen our already very strong case.” Lauren assured us. “If the judge grants the order of protection today, we will certainly use that to accelerate both the divorce and the custody case. I honestly don’t see this dragging out indefinitely, so please don’t get discouraged. Trent doesn’t strike me as someone with the means to keep this tied up in court. He is your typical playground bully. We push back hard enough, he’ll give up in favor of finding an easier target.”

“What if he comes out here and tries to take Gracie?” You asked, the fear suddenly choking you, “He can’t take my baby.”

“He’ll have to go through me.” Jake said, rubbing your back comfortingly, “It’ll be a cold day in hell before my Princess G ends up in his hands.”

“Hopefully today will help prevent that.” Lauren said, encouragingly, “Y/N, I promise you, I will do everything in my power to get you freed from this man in every way. Whether he contests the divorce or not, there are safeguards in place with the laws and we will use them. Him agreeing just makes it happen faster. In all of my years practicing family law, I have never seen a judge side with a parent showing so many red flags as Trent does, especially when the other parent is stable and established as the child’ sole caregiver. I need you to remember that the only questionable variable in this situation is the amount of time it takes to get it through. You will be divorced from this man, you will reclaim your life, Sweetie. I promise you that.”

“Thank you.” You replied, quietly. “I really do appreciate all you’re doing for me.”

“It’s absolutely my pleasure.” She smiled, “Let’s head on into the courtroom and get situated.”

“He isn’t here right?” You asked, suddenly scared to enter the courtroom. “Or his lawyer?”

“His attorney may be in attendance” She replied, “I would be surprised, being he is based out of Texas. If Trent is present, due to it being an order of protection hearing, we will do everything we can to maintain as much distance as possible. In the event he’s here and the order is approved, a deputy would escort you out of the courthouse ahead or behind Trent, upholding the distance ordered and to prevent illegal contact.”

“And I will be here with you every single step of the way, Tulip.” Jake promised, “I will never let him hurt you in any way ever again.”

In the end, Tent, thankfully, had not shown up. His lawyer Zoomed into the hearing on his behalf. After looking at all of the texts, reviewing the voicemails, and listening to your account of your marriage, the judge ordered a no contact order. All communication now had to officially go through lawyers. Trent was not allowed to text or call you and was not allowed within 500 feet of you. The order was temporary, but would hopefully be enough to allow you to get the divorce you needed and to start your life over. Your attorney said the order would help with the custody and divorce hearings. Trent’s lawyer had objected and insisted all of the evidence was a result of emotional distress you’d caused by leaving and taking your daughter out of state. You were thankful the judge hadn’t seen it that way.

“What are the next steps?” Jake asked, as you all left the courtroom. Even just this small victory took a load off of your shoulders. At least now he could be held in contempt of court if he contacted you or showed up on your doorstep.  “Can you file anything that legally separates them so she can start to rebuild her life while waiting on the divorce to go through?”

“Legally, they are already separated.” Lauren explained, “The moment we filed the intent to dissolve the marriage, they were legally separated. The next steps are getting a court date for the divorce and custody of Gracie. Since he’s contesting, it will need to go before a judge. The judge would normally order mediation to work out the divorce agreement but since Y/N only wants custody and nothing from the marital home or any monetary compensation, and in light of the no contact order in place as of today, the judge will be more inclined to waive the mediator and grant the divorce. Custody could be done the same day if we can get Trent to agree to vanquish his parental rights or to simply agree to you having full custody, Y/N.”

“So, the divorce is just a formality at this point, she’s already free of that piece of shit?” Jake clarified.

“The marriage is essentially on ‘hold’ until the divorce is finalized. Legally speaking though, yes, Y/N you are free to move on, Sweetie.” She replied. She smiled warmly, winking at you. “That includes dating.”

“I don’t think I’m quite ready for that yet.” You replied, offering a small smile, “I just want to focus on being a good mom to Gracie.”

“Tulip, you’ve already nailed that.” Jake assured you, “You’re the best mom and Princess G is so lucky to have you as her mommy.”

“I love you, Jakey.” You said, hugging him.

“Love you too, Tulip.” He replied, hugging you back.

“Alright, I will continue to keep you posted” Lauden said, “I’ll be calling Trent’s lawyer again today to encourage his client to settle now and agree to dissolve the marriage rather than drag it out. If his lawyer is competent, he’ll know this is a losing battle on their end. It’s to their advantage to settle and not let the judge set the terms.”

“Thank you. For everything.” You said.

“You’re very welcome.” She replied, “Keep your chin up, this will be over and just a bad memory in no time at all.”

After leaving the courthouse, Jake decided to treat you to lunch before heading home. He took you to one of his favorite Mexican restaurants, knowing you’d love it too.

As you sat eating your lunch you could tell Jake was thinking about something. “I can see the wheels turning in your head, Bubs.” You laughed, “What’s on your mind?”

“Just thinking about what your lawyer said.” Jake said.

“Which part?” You asked, “She said a lot today.”

“About being free to start over.” He replied slowly, “Dating and all that.”

“No need to go into overprotective brother mode, Jakey.” You smiled, “I meant it when I said I don’t think I’m ready. I don’t really trust my own judgment anyway.”

“Do you trust mine?” He asked.

“Of course I do, Jakey.” You replied, “What’s going on in that head though?”

“OK, hear me out.” He said. “If someone were interested in dating you and you were interested in them… would you trust my judgment on whether they were a good fit or not?”

“Yes.” You replied, confused where this was coming from, waiting on him to elaborate.

“Ok.” He smiled, relaxing. “So what do you think you want to do first, now that you’re well on your way to freedom?”

“A job.” You replied, shaking your head at your brother. Sometimes he was so hard to get a read on. “Penny offered me a part time job. If she’s still serious about it, I want to accept. I just need to find daycare.”’

“I can help with that!” He assured you, “I think getting out of the house and being around adults will be good for you.”

“Jake you can’t take Gracie to base” You laughed, “She can’t be your WSO at 2 years old.”

“I know that.” He said, playfully rolling his eyes, “I can look into daycare on base though, or at least ask around for recommendations. Being around other kiddos will be good for her too.”

After lunch you headed home to relieve Bradley of babysitting duties. Jake hung the keys to the truck on the hook by the door when you walked in, immediately reaching up to loosen and untie the tie he wore to court.

“Hey…how did it go?” Bradley asked cautiously.

“It went well!” Jake replied, “That piece of trash can’t contact Tulip anymore!”

“That’s fantastic, Y/N!” Bradley said, flashing a bright smile at you, “How are you feeling?”

“So much relief.” You replied, smiling back at him, “My lawyer also said that this will help us in the custody and divorce proceedings.”

“Even better.” He said, “This calls for a celebration! How about drinks at the Hard Deck tomorrow night?”

“I don’t have a babysitter for Gracie.” You replied, “But you all can go and celebrate for me!”

“Tulip, we can’t celebrate without you when you’re the reason for the celebration.” Jake laughed, “We will find a sitter for Gracie and we will go for a bit.”

“Ok.” You agreed. “Going out does sound fun. It’s been awhile. I’m going to go change and start getting stuff put together for dinner. Bradley, you’re joining us… if you don’t have plans. It’s the least I can do for you taking a day off to stay with Gracie.”

“I will happily accept dinner.” He replied, “But it’s because you’re cooking is amazing and too good to say no to, not because you owe me anything for spending time with that sweet Princess. She was good as gold and we had fun.”

“Well, thank you all the same.” You said, kissing his cheek before heading to the bedroom to change.

***** Jake’s POV *****

“Thanks, Rooster.” Jake said, removing his tie completely now and slumping down on the couch. “I really appreciate everything you’ve done for Y/N and Gracie.”

“Look, I know we definitely started off on the wrong foot but, like we keep reminding Y/N…this is a family.” Bradley said, “For me, it’s the only one I’ve got. So there really isn’t much I wouldn’t do for you, Jake. And let’s be real, 5 minutes in her presence and Gracie had me wound tightly around her adorable, chubby little finger.”

“She has a way of doing that.” Jake laughed, “She’s had me hooked since she drew her first breaths.”

“Y/N is the same way.” Bradley said, treading carefully, unsure how Jake would react to knowing he was falling hard for his sister.

“She’ll kill me for this…” Jake said, sitting up and turning to face Bradley, “Here’s the thing. She’s kinda fragile at the moment and very unsure of herself…actually said she doesn’t trust her own judgment when it comes to guys and dating now… but she does trust me. And I trust YOU. I know you’ve got a thing for Y/N. I’ve seen the way you look at her. I’ve also seen the way she looks at you when she thinks nobody is looking. What’s more… I’ve seen how much you care about Gracie.  Those girls are the most important people in my life, Bradley. They’re the only actual family I’ve got. I just need you to know…to really know… what you’re getting into. If you’re not playing the long game here where my sister and niece get their fairytale ending… I’m asking you to bow out now. I failed her once in my role as her big brother and protector. I can’t fail her again.”

“Jake, I genuinely already care deeply about them both.” Bradley admitted. “I would never do anything to intentionally or knowingly hurt either of them. I’d rather burn in than do that. Just to be clear though, because I’m not trying to get my face rearranged at any point… are you saying that you’re actually OK with the fact that I’m falling for your sister?”

“You’re probably the only guy I WOULD trust with her heart.” Jake shrugged, smiling, “And now that you’ve confirmed you do in fact have feelings for her…what do you plan to do about it?”

“Honestly, I don’t know.” Bradley admitted, “And this isn’t me ‘being safe on a perch’. I just don’t wanna screw this up or spook her.”

“I appreciate that.” Jake replied, “Me giving you shit in the air about playing it safe doesn’t mean I can’t see the value in being cautious and taking things slow when it matters. Just… not too slow. The lawyer even said she can get started building her life and even mentioned dating. She’s legally separated if that’s what is holding you back.”

“I don’t know that the military cares about legal separations, man…” Bradley said, “Pretty sure it’s still against the code… but… I don’t think it’s against the code to spend time with a friend and her adorable little girl. Especially when I am in fact, playing the long game.”

“Good to know.” Jake said, “On that note. I’m going to change quickly. Are you hanging around for dinner?”

“Yeah, there’s no way I’m passing up more time with those two…and a home cooked meal.” Bradley replied, smirking, “And I guess you’re alright to hang out with too.”

“Asshole.” Jake laughed, getting up and heading upstairs to change. Bradley laughed at his retreat.

*** Your POV ***

After changing into a pair of cutoff jean shorts and a Texas Longhorns t-shirt, you made your way out of your room. Before heading to the kitchen to start meal prepping you peeked into Gracie’s room to check on her quickly, smiling at the sight of her curled up sleeping soundly.

“You must have worn her out this morning.” You said, smiling at Bradley who was still seated on the couch. “She’s out like a light still.”

“We played pretty hard.” Bradley said, “Lots of chasing, flying, tea parties, and even went for a walk around the block.”

“Flying, huh?” You asked, laughing. “Starting her young?”

“Yup!” He replied, “Gotta get her used to those G’s. That little princess is fearless though. She loves to be tossed up in the air and completely trusts that you’ll catch her.”

“Believe it or not, she’s only been as outgoing as she is since coming here.” You said, “Back home she was always painfully shy and quiet. I only got to see this version of her when it was just the two of us.”

“Seriously?” He asked, shocked. Gracie had taken to him instantly and he’d never experienced the shy girl being described. “I can’t even picture that… she’s so full of life, full speed ahead.”

“Well it helps that it was love at first sight with you.” You smiled warmly, “She claimed you from the start.”

“The feeling is quite mutual.” He replied, holding your gaze. “Her mom is working her way in too.”

You felt butterflies erupt in your belly, your heart rate picked up and you could feel heat spreading over your body. You weren’t really sure how to respond. You definitely liked the man, but was it really fair to him to be saddled with a complicated mess like yourself?

“I can see the wheels turning, Sweetheart.” he said gently, offering a warm smile that reached his eyes. “No pressure. I know you’ve got a lot going on right now. All the cards on the table though, I really like you… a lot. You know I’m crazy about Gracie. If or whenever you’re ready, if you’re interested, I want you to know that so am I.”

“I like you too…” You admitted quietly, “More than I should considering the circumstances. It’s just… Bradley, I’m a mess. You deserve so much more than someone who doesn’t have their shit together. Hell, I don’t even have a job. I’m literally mooching off of my brother right now.”

“Hey.” He said, taking your hands and turning you so that you’re facing him. “First of all, I’d be willing to bet a paycheck that if Jake heard you talk like that he’d blow a gasket. Secondly, Sweetheart you’re not a mess. You were stuck in a shitty marriage with a piece of shit that doesn’t deserve you and you were strong enough to get you and your daughter out and are taking steps to keep him out of your lives. Thirdly, and most importantly, you are  so incredible, so beautiful, intelligent, funny, an amazing mom, and I would be LUCKY to get to spend time with you and get to know you.”

He leaned down, placing a soft kiss on your cheek, then pulling back to look into your eyes, willing you to see yourself in his eyes. To believe what he was saying.

“Like I said before, Sweetheart,” He continued, “No pressure. I just really want to get to know you more and would love to spend time with you.”

“I would really like to spend time with you too.” You admitted.

“Then we will start there.” He smiled sweetly at you.

“Look who’s up?” Jake said, carrying Gracie into the room. “I peeked in to check on her and my little Princess was awake and ready to play again.”

“There’s my sweet Gracie Girl!” You beamed at your daughter, “Did you sleep well?”

“Hi Mommy” She smiled, still rubbing her eyes, “Woosta, we pway again?”

“Wow, I see where her priorities are now.” You laughed.

“Hi Princess,” Bradley chucked, “I will happily play with you again. Do you want to go outside to play?”

“Yes! Outside!” She happily exclaimed, then looked at Jake, “Unco Jakey pway too?”

“Of course, Princess G!” He replied, kissing her forehead. “Let’s get your shoes on and we’ll go out back. I think we need to get you a swing for the backyard… or a playhouse and a slide!”

“Jakey!” You exclaimed, “There is a perfectly good park within walking distance. We’re not putting in a playground in your backyard.”

“No fun, Tulip.” He pouted, “Princess G needs her own playground.”

“Lord help me,” You rolled your eyes playfully, “You’re going to spoil that child rotten.”

“Nope.” he replied, “Not possible.”

“If you two have her, I’m going to go get started on dinner prep.” You said, heading to the kitchen.

While the guys were out back running with Gracie, you pulled out everything you needed to make dinner. Before getting too involved in prepping though, you paused to make a snack for Gracie, knowing she’d be hungry after her nap. You peeled and sliced apples for her, cutting them into bite size chunks and placed them on a plate with a handful of mini pretzels and cubes of cheese. This way she had a choice of what she’d snack on and you knew Jake or Bradley would help her finish if need be. Grabbing a sippy cup with water, you made your way out back.

“Snack time for my little Princess.” You said, setting the plate and cup down on the outdoor table.

“What about our snacks?” Jake asked, winking.

“You can see if your niece will share with you.” You said, smirking at him, “If not, there’s more fruit and cheese in the fridge. And dinner isn’t too far off.”

“Need any help with anything?” Bradley asked, “I promise I’m slightly more competent than Jake in the kitchen.”

“That’s not setting the bar too high.” You teased. “Gracie would be sad if I took her new bestie away from her.”

“I’ll cover.” Jake said, winking at you knowinging. “Princess G! Rooster has to help Mommy cook dinner, wanna go for a walk around the block with me?”

“Yes!” She said, dropping the ball she’d been playing with. “Bye Mommy! Bye Woosta!”

“And just like that, Uncle Jakey is the favorite again.” Jake said, flashing a victory smile. “Let’s go, Princess G!”

“Stay with Uncle Jakey, Gracie.” You reminded her, “Hold his hand!”

“Kitchen assistant Bradshaw reporting for duty.” Bradley said as the two of you stepped into the kitchen.

“When you said you are slightly more competent than Jake in the kitchen… How much more competent are you talking?” You asked, “He makes decent breakfast food and knows his way around a grill.”

“I can cook, Sweetheart.” He laughed, “I’m not a huge fan of it and it’s just me I’ll pick up take out, but my mom made sure I could cook.”

“Ok then.” You replied, trying and failing to maintain a serious expression. “You’re in charge of cutting the potatoes and veggies. The potatoes just need to be cut into wedges,  the broccoli cut off the stalk, and the  zucchini and yellow squash need to be cut into small chunks. That’s all going onto a sheet pan to be roasted.”

“I can handle that.” He promised, “Cutting board and knife, please.”

You handed him the  needed equipment and the veggies before turning to get  the chicken ready.

“Where’d you learn to cook so well?” He asked as he started to cut the potatoes.

“Jake got us through until I was old enough to read and understand a cookbook.” You said, “We ate a lot of eggs and toast, hot dogs and mac n cheese, and  grilled cheese sandwiches before that. When I was in 4th grade I checked out a cookbook from the library and made Jake get the ingredients… first few meals were rough, but then I got the hang of it. After that, Jake made sure we had a well stocked kitchen… well as best as  he could given the lack of funds we really had to work with.”

“I can’t even imagine, Sweetheart.” He replied, “It was just mom and Me…occasionally Mav when he wasn’t deployed, but my mom made sure I had everything I needed. You and Jake had to raise yourselves. Did you have any other family?”

“Just each other.” You replied, “We learned early that we were all we had. Jake did all he could to make sure nobody had reason to call family services on us. We took care of each other and stayed out of our parent’s way. What was your mom like?”

“Amazing.” He replied, a soft smile forming on his lips. “She was so full of life and love. She was the fun neighborhood mom. There were always extra kids hanging around. I think her mission was to make sure every kid was well fed. She made everything we did together fun, even the mundane things like chores.”

“I’m so sorry you lost her.” You said, “She sounds incredible.”

“I definitely wish she was still alive, but I’m lucky I had her for the time I did.” He replied. “Her and my dad had such a deep and complete love. After he died she was kinda lost for a bit. I don’t remember much of that time since I was so young, but it was almost like she snapped out of it and threw herself fully into just being my mom and raising me. She never dated anyone after my dad died. That’s probably the only thing I’d change. She deserved to be happy.”

“Maybe raising you and being there for you was what made her happy?” You suggested, “She had her one true love, and rather than settling for something less than that, she just poured all of her love into her child.”

“Isn’t there a balance though?” Bradley asked, “And do we only get one true love per lifetime?”

“I’m the wrong person to ask about that.” You said sadly, “I’ve never really been able to see what a healthy love is supposed to look like. I clearly didn’t find it with Trent.”

“Maybe not romantic love, but you and Jake love each other and have a sibling bond that not many reach.” He said, “You’ve also nailed the whole Mom gig, Sweetheart. So that proves you don’t need to have had a ‘good’ example in order to be capable of it.”

“Were you always so smart?” You asked, a smile forming on your face, “Or is this a new development?”

“Always.” He smirked, “You should trust me on this one.”

“I’ll take it under consideration.” You teased, “In the meantime, keep choppin’. I need to put the veggies in at the same time as the chicken.”

“On it.” He smirked, winking.  He finished chopping the vegetables while you finished getting the chicken seasoned and on the cooking sheet.

Once everything was on the cooking sheets and in the oven you grabbed a couple of beers from the fridge and passed one to Bradley.

“Well done, kitchen assistant Bradshaw.” You smiled, “You can help me out anytime.”

“How about, I help you this Friday when the squad invades for dinner.” He suggested, “Then… you let me take you out to dinner on Saturday night, so you’re not having to cook.”

“I’d have to see if Jake has plans…” You said, “Unless we do an early dinner and at a kid friendly restaurant.”

“Sweetheart, I am completely on board with both of those options.” Bradley said, “We could even take her and have a beach day and then dinner in the evening. I’m sure the squad would take a beach day too if you’d be more comfortable with a group.”

“I’d be comfortable with just you too, Bradley.” You said, offering a smile.

“How about we see if Jake and Phoenix want to join us?” He suggested, “That way we can give them a gentle push together. And while we do that, we get to spend more time together, with Gracie as an added bonus.”

“I like that.” You replied. Then, deciding to be brave and trust not only yourself, but also your brother’s judgment in friends and most importantly in Bradley.  “I’d also like to spend time with you… just the two of us… if you’re willing to deal with complicated.”

“Complicated is good.” He smiled, moving to stand closer to you, his hand coming to gently push some hair from your face, “You’re worth complicated, Sweetheart.”

“We’re back!” Jake called from the living room.

“We back Mommy!” Gracie parroted her uncle. The pair made their way into the kitchen, Gracie hitching a ride on Jake’s back.

“Someone was lucky enough to get a piggy back ride from Uncle Jakey, I see.” You laughed.

“She made a solid case for why she should get a ride.” Jake shrugged, smiling.’

After dinner you got Gracie in the bath, letting her play in the warm water for a bit, while Jake and Bradley played a flying video game.

Once you had Gracie bathed and her pajamas on, you took her back out to the living room to let her play for a bit before you started her bedtime routine.

“You’d think you two got enough of that piloting stuff in your actual jobs.” You teased, sitting down in the oversized chair next to the couch. “Just can’t get enough of it huh?”

“This is different, Tulip.” Jake insisted, “We get to fly planes from different eras and hone our skills in different terrains.”

“And we get to blow stuff up.” Bradley added, smirking. “That’s fun too.”

“That’s more in line with what I figured.” You said, rolling your eyes playfully.

“Mommy, you wead book pwease?” Gracie said, bringing over one of her books.

“I will happily read you a book, Baby Girl.” You said, smiling at your little girl. “Do you want to go snuggle in your bed and read before it’s sleepytime?”

“Yes, pwease.” She agreed, rubbing her eyes. All of the playtime and fresh air wore her out.

“Say goodnight to Uncle Jakey and Bradley.” You said. You watched as they instantly paused their game, and turned their full focus on Gracie. It warmed your heart as it’s not something her father ever did.

“Night Unco Jakey.” Gracie said, hugging him first. “Wuv you.”

“I love you too, Princess G.” He replied, hugging her tightly, “Sweet dreams.”

“Night Woosta.” She says, climbing over into Bradley’s lap and hugging him. “Wuv you.”

“Goodnight, Princess.” He replied softly, holding her gently and hugging her back and dropping a soft kiss on her head. “I love you too.”

“We pway tomorrow?” She asked him.

“I have to work tomorrow, Sweetheart.” He answered, “But, I promise to come play with you again soon, OK?”

“Otay.” She agreed before hopping down and heading to her room.

***********

The rest of the week went pretty smoothly. You’d talked to Penny about the part time job she offered at the Hard Deck. She’d told you that it was yours and that she’d work around daycare for you. Amelia was willing to babysit once school was out for the summer, so you only needed a sitter part time for about a month. You were going to meet with her next week to figure out the hours and everything the job would entail.

Friday night was the squad dinner night, everyone loved the homemade pizzas. Bradley had arrived after work and had helped you make the pizzas. Gracie’s favorite night of the week was Friday when the squad was over. She loved having all the playmates.

“What time are we headed to the beach tomorrow?” Phoenix asked once everyone but Bradley had left.

“Probably mid morning, I’m guessing.” Jake said, “We can bring the pack n play and an umbrella so Gracie can nap at the beach.”

“It’s sweet seeing you with her.” Phoenix says, offering Jake a soft smile. He blushed, a smile forming on his face.

“Gracie is really good at wrapping Naval aviators around her little finger.” You said.

“Yes she is.” Bradley agreed. “She’s got me hooked.”

“She’s not the only one.” Phoenix said, smirking knowingly at Bradley.

“That I’ve already admitted to.” He said, winking at you.

“Hey, Nix” Jake said, “Feel like being on babysitting duty with me tomorrow night? We get to hang with a really sweet toddler. She’s lots of fun…”

“That sounds fun.” She said, it was now her turn to blush. “I’d love to.”

You and Bradley shared a conspiratory look. You really hoped spending time together would push the pair together.

The next morning Jake was loading the pack n play, umbrella and beach chairs into the truck while you pulled together snacks and a lunch for everyone. You’d packed the beach bag before going to bed the night before so all you needed to do was get dressed and get Gracie dressed.

“Alright, the truck is packed up. Phoenix and Bradley just got here. I’ll get Gracie changed.” Jake said, “Go get dressed so we can hit the beach.”

Fifteen minutes later you were ready. You’d opted for a simple blue two piece swimsuit, one of two you’d bought while shopping with Phoenix. You threw a pair of cut off jean shorts and a tank top over your suit and slipped on flip flops.

“Ok, I’m ready.” You said, pulling your hair into a messy bun, while walking into the living room. “I packed towels, food, drinks, sunscreen, toys… what am I forgetting?”

“I think you got it covered, Tulip.” Jake laughed, “Let’s go! Princess G, do you wanna ride with Uncle Jakey and Phoenix?”

“Ok, so we’re taking two vehicles.” You laughed.

“Yay! I wide wif Unco Jakey and Nix!” Gracie exclaimed.

“Let’s load up!” Jake said, scooping Gracie up onto his shoulders, making her giggle.

“He’s so adorable with her.” Phoenix told you, a soft look in her eyes.

You flashed her a knowing smile and grabbed your purse.  The three of you followed Jake and Gracie out to the vehicles.

“See y’all at the beach.” Bradley said, opening the passenger door for you.

“Such a gentleman.” You smirked when he got into the driver’s seat.

“My mom raised me well.” he said, chuckling.

“She sure did.” You smiled, looking at him over your sunglasses.

“You’re gonna be trouble, Sweetheart.” He laughed.

After pulling into the beach parking lot. Bradley helped Jake carry all of the big stuff to where you would set up for the day. While they got the umbrella up and the pack n play set up…which was amusing to watch… you and Phoenix grabbed Gracie and the rest of the stuff from the truck.

“We have to put sunscreen on you before you play, Gracie.” You said, kneeling down on the sand to apply the sunscreen. “Alright, play here for a little bit until it soaks into your skin.”

You pulled out a couple of her toys for her to play with while she waited. In the meantime, you pulled off the tank you’d put over your swimsuit, dropping it on the bag. You started to apply sunscreen to your own skin, not wanting to burn.

“I’ll get your back.” Bradley offered, his eyes wandering over you. You smiled, feeling heat creep over your neck and face, having nothing to do with the sun. You handed him the bottle.  “Turn around.”

You turned around so your back was to him. You had to bite back a moan when his warm, strong hands started rubbing the lotion into your back. He clearly knew what he was doing to you, judging by the smirk on his face once he’d finished.

“Your turn.” You replied, making a spinning motion with your finger to get him to turn around. “Shirt off, Flyboy.”

He laughed, complying with your order. He shrugged out of the Hawaiian shirt he had on and pulled off the white tank undershirt over his head, revealing a well toned, back and wide shoulders. You squeezed some sunscreen onto your hand and rubbed them together to warm the lotion before running your hands over his back, rubbing the lotion in thoroughly.

You smirked when you were done and he’d turned to you, his eyes betraying the effect your hands had on him. It was a boost to your confidence that you clearly needed.

“Mommy we swim?” Gracie asked, abandoning the toys she’d been playing with. “Pwease?”

“Absolutely, Sweet Girl!” You said, picking your little girl up. She was wearing a Disney Princess swimsuit with ruffles around the middle making it look like it had a tutu attached. You put the toddler sized life jacket on her, making sure it was secure. Someone would be holding her at all times in the water but you were always very cautious, having seen too many news stories of toddlers accidentally drowning.

“Let’s play in the water, Princess.” Bradley said, gently tapping Gracie’s nose with his finger, making her laugh.

You all headed to the water, Jake and Phoenix walking ahead of you, sending flirty looks back and forth between them. You glanced over to Bradley to see if he was noticing, but his whole focus was on you. You ducked your head, resting it against Gracie’s as you kept walking towards the water.

The four of you all took turns holding Gracie and spinning her the water. Jake and Bradley tossed her back and forth between them, dipping her as they caught her so her feet splashed the water. When she was tired of being in the water, you and Phoenix took her to shore to play with her sand toys, the two of you sitting in the sand to watch. Jake and Bradley stayed in the water, tossing a football back and forth.

“This was a good idea.” Phoenix said, “Thanks for inviting me.”

“This is probably the most fun I’ve had in… I don’t even know how long.” You admitted, “I’m really glad you’re here. It’s nice having a friend.”

“It’s even nicer not to be outnumbered by men.” Phoenix laughed, “I love my squad, but it’s a LOT of testosterone.”

“I can only imagine.” You said, “Just from what I’ve seen at our dinners and the zoo trip… they’re a lot to wrangle.”

“Worth it though.” She smiled, looking out at where the guys were now apparently locked in a water war.

“Definitely.” You agreed, your eyes on Bradley and his rippling muscles on display.

“He’s one of the good ones, Y/N.” She remarked, catching you staring at Bradley. “I know you’re going through it right now, and might not be fully ready, but know that it doesn’t get much better than Bradshaw. He’s safe. And I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but he’s gone for you and Gracie.”

“We actually talked… Monday after Jake and I got back from court.” You admitted. “He laid all the cards on the table. I really like him, Nat. A lot. He’s so easy to fall for. He’s amazing with Gracie… I know he’s one of the good ones…”

“But…?” She pushed, maintaining eye contact.

“I’m a mess. I come with a lot of baggage and I’m scared.” You said, “Not of him. I’m scared of being too much of shit show and dragging him down. He deserves so much more than that.”

“Sweetie, he might look like he’s got it all together, but that man comes with some pretty heavy baggage too.” She replied gently, “Rooster has some trust issues caused by Mav. They’re good now, but there’s history there. He also has baggage relating to everything that went down with his dad and seeing how it affected his mom. BUT…despite all that, he’s willing to take the risk and trust you with his heart. I can see it all over his face. You should also know, he’s never been like this with anyone before. He’s… different with you and Gracie. He’s settled… calm. All I’m saying is… if you feel the same about him, go with it, Y/N… trust him.”

“I think I’ve decided I am.” You said, “He’s taking me out tonight, which is why you and Jake are on babysitting duty.”

“I wondered about that.” She smiled, “Good. Just stay out of your head. Don’t think.”

“Just do.” You finished, laughing at the catchphrase that had taken over the Dagger squad.

“See? You fit right in.” She smirked, before pushing some sand towards Gracie, who was busy scooping the sand into her bucket.

“Speaking of giving guys a chance…” You said, leveling her with a look. “You should know that the same applies to you and my brother. Jake also doesn’t let many in, or let his guard down, yet around you…. He’s himself one hundred percent of the time. He trusts you to see the real Jake. The softer, sometimes insecure Jake. He LIKES you… a lot. It scares him though. He doesn’t want to screw up the friendship with you because it’s something he treasures dearly.”

“I really like him too.” She admitted, “A Lot. I keep trying to drop hints or show him, but I just assumed he wasn’t interested… that him being flirty is just Jake.”

“You’re both idiots.” You laughed, “Ok, so here’s what’s going to happen… tonight after Gracie is in bed, the two of you need to talk. I’ll have dinner delivered for you. My brother is oblivious, Nat… you can’t be subtle.”

“What if I freak him out and he really doesn’t want to try anything beyond friendship?” She asked, “We just got reassigned to Top Gun with the Dagger squad… I can’t put in for reassignment.”

“You’re not going anywhere!” You exclaimed, “This will work out. I promise. Have you seen him flirt with anyone else since you all came back from the mission? Has he hooked up with any females or left the bar with any? The answer to that is no… because Jake is completely on team Phoenix.”

“Mommy, I hungy.” Gracie said, looking up from her buckets.

“Ok, Sweet Girl,” You said, “Let's rinse off then go back to the blanket and Mommy will get you lunch.”

You picked up your sandy toddler and walked into the water with her, rinsing off the sand as best as you could. You’d have to wipe her down with the towel and some baby wipes before she could eat. You got Jake and Bradley’s attention, letting them know you were gonna get lunch stuff ready. Nodding, they made their way back to shore as well.

After everyone ate, Jake and Phoenix decided to take a walk for a bit. Gracie was starting to rub her eyes and get sleepy so you placed her in the pack n play under the umbrella, with a towel over her and she drifted off to sleep quickly.

You and Bradley settled down onto the blanket laid out under the beach umbrella next to the pack n play.

“This was a really good idea.” You told him, “It’s been an amazing day.”

“It really has.” He agreed. “I think our plan is working on Jake and Nat too, so added bonus.” “It is! She admitted to really liking him… and she’s been trying to subtly let him know.” You said, “I told her tonight she has to spell it out for him. Jake doesn’t always pick up on subtleties.”

“That’s the truth!” He laughed. “I have to admit though, Sweetheart, as much as I’m enjoying today and getting to see you in this amazing swimsuit… I’m really looking forward to taking you out to dinner tonight.”

“I’m really looking forward to it too.” You smiled, “But I’ve also been enjoying the view of you shirtless today. It’s kinda distracting.”

“Distracting huh,” He smirks, turning his body towards you.

“You know you’re hot, Flyboy.” You replied, playfully rolling your eyes.

“I’ve done alright, but I wouldn’t classify myself as ‘hot’, Sweetheart.” He said, averting his eyes.

“I thought you had to have good eyesight to fly those expensive planes.” You said, leaning over to nudge him gently.

“I mean, yeah…” He replied, looking back up at you with confusion in his eyes.

“I’m thinking maybe you need your vision checked, Lieutenant.” You teased, “If you can’t see that you’re incredibly good looking, I don’t know that you should be flying those planes.”

“Trust me, Sweetheart,” He said, leveling you with a steamy look, before allowing his eyes to wander, “There’s nothing wrong with my vision.”

Now it was your turn to avert your gaze, heat creeping over your body again. Even though you weren’t entirely sure what you were doing or where this was going, it felt really good to be noticed and to know that Bradley was attracted to you.

The warmth of the day and the sound of the waves lulled you into a drowsy state, and at some point relaxed you to the point of falling asleep. Bradley watched you, committing this moment to his memory. He was no match for the sun and waves though either, and ended up falling asleep next to you, one arm tucked under his head as a pillow the other ended up draped over your stomach.

“Do we wake them up?” Jake asked, taking in the scene in front of him when him and Phoenix returned from their walk.

“Nah, let them sleep.” She replied, smiling, “It’s sweet. They’re both completely relaxed, not a care in the world.”

“I doubt Tulip has let her guard down like this in a very long time.” Jake agreed, “It’s nice to see. He’s one of the only guys I’d trust with my sister.”

“She really likes him.” Phoenix said, “A lot. She’s scared that she’s got too much baggage though. I set her straight on that.”

“Good.” He replied, “Thank you, Nix. It means a lot to me that you’ve become her friend. She needs it.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Jake.” She replied, “I really like your sister. She’s easy to be friends with.”

Jake grabbed his phone from the bag he’d set it in and opened the camera app, capturing the moment before him. Phoenix chuckled, shaking her head.

“Blackmail?” She asked

“Nope. Just figured they’d want this moment someday.” Jake admitted, smiling. “Those two are going to be each other’s endgame. Princess G will get to grow up with two parents that love her and she’ll see what it’s supposed to look like. She won’t grow up like we did.”

“Jake, I can’t imagine what it was like for you and Y/N growing up” Phoenix said, “But the two of you grew up to be incredible people despite it all. Just… don’t doubt that, ok?”

“Thank you, Nat.” He replied softly, “You don’t know how much that means.”

After Gracie’s nap, and yours and Bradley’s impromptu nap, everyone spent a little more time in the water and playing with Gracie in the sand before rinsing off in the outdoor showers and loading the vehicles again.  

Bradley dropped you off, promising to return at 6 to get you for your dinner date. Phoenix had brought a change of clothes with, so she showered in Jake’s shower while you showered and got ready in the main bathroom.

You weren’t really sure where Bradley planned to take you, so you decided to wear a sundress with a cardigan in case it got cooler once the sun set and paired it all with strappy sandals to complete the look. You left your hair down after showering, deciding to just dry it and let it hang in soft waves.

You left your room to head out to the living room. Gracie was playing with her toys, freshly bathed and in jammies. Jake, haven given her a bath while you were getting ready.

“You look gorgeous, Y/N!” Phoenix said, once you’d entered the room.

“Thank you,” You replied, smiling, “I’m not sure where we’re going…so I didn’t want to go too fancy or too casual.”

“You look beautiful, Tulip.” Jake said, coming in from the kitchen with drinks for himself and Phoenix. “I ordered pizza, it’ll be here in 45 minutes.”

“Sounds great.” Phoenix said, “Does Gracie like pizza? I can make her something else if she doesn’t.”

“She loves pizza.” You assured her, “Hopefully she doesn’t give y’all too much trouble falling asleep tonight.”

“I’m sure with all the fresh air she got today, she’ll pass right now.” Jake laughed, “But you’re not allowed to worry or even think about that while you’re out. Enjoy the time with Rooster. We’ve got this under control.”

“Thank you for taking care of her.” You replied, “You’re a fantastic uncle… and the best big brother.”

“Mommy, come pway?” Gracie asked from her play area.

“Mommy is going to go out for a bit with Bradley for dinner.” You said, walking over to her and crouching down next to her, “You’re going to stay here with Uncle Jakey and Nix.”

“We’re going to have so much fun, Princess G.” Jake said.

The doorbell rang and Jake stepped over to open the door.

“Come on in.” he said, “Lookin’ sharp, Rooster.”

“Thanks, Hangman.” He chuckled, stepping into the house.

“Woosta!” Gracie exclaimed, running over to him. You smiled, standing back up, as Bradley picked her up.

“Hi, Princess.” He chuckled, hugging her to him. She immediately laid her head down on his shoulder, snuggling into him. Unable to resist, you pulled your phone out and snapped a quick picture. He looked up, flashing a warm smile towards you. “You look beautiful, Sweetheart.”

“Thank you,” You replied, “You look pretty hot yourself.”

“Alright, you two.” Jake said, “It’s time for our slumber party with Princess G. No Moms and Roosters allowed.”

“Sounds like you’re going to have so much fun, Princess.” Bradley said, walking with her towards you.

“Come give Mommy hugs and kisses, Sweet Girl.” You said, reaching for her. She put her arms out for you to take her and immediately snuggled into you.

“Wuv you Mommy.” She said softly.

“I love you too Baby Girl.” You replied, “Be good for Uncle Jakey and Nix ok?”

“Otay.” She said, then looked back at Bradley, “Wuv you Woosta.”

“I love you too, Princess.” He replied, leaning down to drop a kiss on her head.

“Have her home by midnight.” Jake said, “No funny business. I’d hate to have to kick your ass.”

“Wow, Jakey.” You laughed, shaking your head.

“Ok, Dad, let the kids go on their date.” Phoenix laughed. Shaking her head at Jake. “You two go have fun, we’ve got it under control.”

“Thanks, Nat.” You replied, hugging Gracie again before handing her to Jake. “Thanks Jakey.”

“It’s not a problem, Tulip. I get time with two beautiful ladies. It’s a win win.” Jake replied.

After saying goodbyes Bradley leads you out to the Bronco, opening the passenger door and helping you up before going around to the driver’s side and sliding in.

“I asked Jake for ideas of where to go… I didn’t wanna blow my one shot…” He said, giving you a sheepish look, “So I hope you like the Italian place he suggested.”

“Bradley, there is zero chance of you blowing this.” You assured him, “Italian sounds great.”

He visibly relaxed as he backed out of the driveway and started the journey to the restaurant.

“I feel like I’m the one that should be nervous.” You teased, “It’s been… a while….since I’ve been on a date.”

“Are you? Nervous?” he asked, glancing over at you.

“I was.” You admitted, “Getting ready, I was kinda a mess. But I’m not now. I feel comfortable with you… safe. You have a calming presence.”

He reached across the seat, taking your hand in his own, “You have no idea how much that means to me, Sweetheart.” He said softly, “I feel the same… being with you is calming. I love getting to spend time with you and Gracie, especially after a crazy week on base. I live for Fridays.”

“You never have to wait for Fridays,” You said, “Gracie and I would love to see you any day of the week.”

“You’re killing me, Sweetheart.” He groaned, “I know we need to take this slowly, but I didn’t realize how difficult that would be. I fall deeper every minute we get to spend together.”

“I’m sorry, Bradley.” You said, a mixture of feelings swirling inside you. You were happy and felt good that he was just as affected as you were, but feelings of guilt surfaced because of all of your baggage and the fact that you were still technically married was holding everything back. He needed someone who was free to love him the way he deserved without being bogged down.

“Hey, Sweetheart, no.” He said, squeezing your hand reassuringly, “Don’t apologize. I will happily go as slow as you need and wait as long as needed for the opportunity to be with you. You are worth it, Y/N.”

You gave him a soft smile, squeezing his hand back.

“You shouldn’t have to wait around for someone to figure their life out though. It’s not fair to you.” You said quietly.

“Sweetheart, some things in life are very much worth the wait.” He replied, “YOU are one of those things. I WANT to wait and be here when you’re ready. I want nothing more than a shot with you and Gracie.”

“You have more than a shot, Bradley.” You replied, deciding to trust in his words and in what Natasha had told you earlier at the beach, “Just promise if it gets to be too much, you’ll tell me. I don’t want to hold you back.”

“I promise.” He said, flashing you a bright smile that went all the way to his honeyed eyes, “It won’t be too much, but I promise to keep open communication with you. Do you promise to tell ME if it’s too much, if you need more or need me to back off?”

“I promise.” You said, “But I don’t want or need you to back off.”

You arrived at the restaurant, Bradley once more opening your door and keeping his hand on the small of your back as you walked in. Once seated you ordered drinks before the waiter left you to look over menus. The night went smoothly, falling into easy conversation with Bradley. The two of you talked about everything and anything that came up.  The more you learned about the aviator the further you fell for him. You knew you were dangerously close to falling in love with him.  

“That was so good.” You sighed, taking a final bite of the chocolate cake you and Bradley had ordered to share. “I’m so full.”

“It was pretty good.” Bradley agreed, “I like that layered cake you made last week better though. That was amazing.”

“That’s Gracie’s favorite too.” You smiled, “I’ll have to make it again soon…for two of my favorite people.”

“I have it on good authority that you’re our favorite person too.” He replied, reaching across the table to gently take your hand in his again. “I’ve really enjoyed tonight, Sweetheart… not really ready for it to end… How would you feel about taking a walk? Or if you want, we can go to the Hard Deck.”

“I’m really enjoying it too.” You replied, “How about we walk on the beach near the Hard Deck and if we decide to get a drink we’ll be right there?”

“That sounds perfect.” He replied.

After Bradley paid the check, the two of you walked out hand in hand to the Bronco. The ride to the beach parking closest to the Hard Deck was relaxed, Bradley never letting go of your hand. He had the radio set to a classic rock station but the volume down so you could still talk.  

The parking lot was essentially deserted when he pulled in, only a few cars remaining. It was close enough to the Hard Deck, it sometimes doubled as overflow parking when needed. It didn’t appear to be the case tonight.

The two of you made your way to the beach, kicking off shoes once you reached the sand. You walked hand in hand down the beach, enjoying each other’s company and the sound of the waves crashing against the shore. After a while Bradley paused, tugging on your hand gently to get you to stop.

“Want to sit here for a while? The sun will be completely setting soon.” He suggested.

“Sure.” You replied, smiling softly. You followed him over to some rocks that had been smoothed out over time, making them perfect for sitting on.

Bradley sat down first, then pulled you down to sit in front of him, allowing you to rest against him. His arms coming around you to hold you.

“Is this ok?” He asked softly, his breath warm against your ear.

“It’s perfect.” You replied, relaxing into him. You rested your hands on his legs, sinking back into his warmth.

“This is way better than the Hard Deck.” He said, chuckling. “I love Penny and it’s a fun place to hang out, but this way I don’t have to share you.”

“I’ve not been there yet to make the judgment, but I think it would be really hard to top this.” You replied, “Penny offered me a part time job there though until I get my life figured out. I just need to find a temporary part time sitter until Amelia is off for the summer.”

“You’ll like working with Penny. She’s great.” He replied, “It’ll be good for you to be out of the house too, and good for Gracie to be around new people.”

“I’m just scared to trust anyone with her.” You admitted. “Scared Trent will show up and take her while I’m not there to protect her.”

“We won’t let that happen, Sweetheart.” He replied, “We will find someone to watch her where she’s completely and 100% safe.”

“Do you know how absolutely amazing you are?” You asked, moving your head so you could look back at him. “I can’t even express how full my heart gets when I see you with Gracie and how sweet you are with her. I don’t know how we got so lucky to get to have you in our lives.”

“Sweetheart, I’m the lucky one.” He replied, his voice thick with all the emotions he was feeling, “You and Gracie are all I never knew I was missing from my life. I don’t even want to think about my life without you two now. I was just sort of existing on auto-pilot until walking into Jake’s that day on an SOS Princess mission.”

“I can’t give you a definitive time for everything with Trent to be wrapped up, but I promise, Gracie and I aren’t going anywhere.” You said.

“I don’t need a timeline, Sweetheart.” He replied, leaning down to kiss your forehead. “I’m not going anywhere either.”

You continued to sit together, watching as the sun set over the water. The sky changed colors until darkness settled in. Once the sun set the temperature started to drop, making you shiver despite Bradley’s warm body against your back.

“You’re getting cold, Sweetheart.” Bradley said, noticing the shivering, “Let’s head back to the Bronco. We can decide where to go from there.”

“Ok,” You replied, “I wasn’t anticipating such a big difference in the temp once the sun set.”

“It’s not as noticeable, unless you’re on the water.” He replied, “By the beach, you end up feeling the difference more.”

You walked back the way you’d come, hand in hand. This time you stopped to put your shoes back on before hitting the pavement of the parking lot.

Once back at the Bronco, Bradley walked with you to the passenger side. Instead of opening the door, he turned so that he was standing facing you, one of his hands coming up to cup your face. You leaned into his hand, enjoying the feel of it against his warm palm. You moved your hands up and around to his back, while he moved his other hand up to cup your face, looking into your eyes. You took a slight step closer, your hands moving up on his back in the process.

“Sweetheart, I don’t want to misread this situation…” He said, “But I really want to kiss you right now.”

“You’re not misreading anything.” You whispered.

Bradley leaned in slowly, giving you time to change your mind. His hands moved into your hair, tipping your head back and leaning further down until his soft lips connected with your own. A few seconds later, he pulled back to see your reaction. Seeing you smile, he leaned back in, chasing your lips again. You tightened your grip on his back, trying to get closer. He holds you tighter, his tongue snaking out to lick the seam of your lips. You open, granting him access, your own tongue meeting his as you both tentatively give in to the attraction that had been building. You remain locked in the heated exchange for what felt like hours but was only moments, before the need for oxygen forced you to separate enough to pull in shaky breaths.

“Holy shit.” Bradley whispered, not able to trust his voice. “That was incredible.”

“You are an exceptionally good kisser, Bradley.” You replied, your voice shaky from the kiss.

“That was all you, Sweetheart.” He said, “I don’t think I’ve ever been this affected by a kiss before.”

“I thought the ‘feeling fireworks’ or ‘sparks flying’ were just figures of speech.” You smiled, “I can confirm it is an actual occurrence.”

“Right there with you,” He smirked, “I need a minute to recover here.”

By the time Bradley was pulling the Bronco onto Jake’s street it was close to 11. The two of you had stopped at the Hard Deck for a drink before calling it a night. Coyote, Payback, Fanboy and Bob had been there. They tried to coerce Bradley into a game of pool, but he’d firmly declined, wanting to devote all of his attention to you.

“I had a really good time tonight, Bradley.” You said, smiling over at him. Your hands were once again entwined. “Thank you.”

“It was my pleasure, Sweetheart.” He replied, smiling over at you. “I hope I get to take you out again soon… and I’d love to spend time with you and Gracie together too.”

“We’d both love that” You assured him. “And look, we’re home before midnight.”

“That we are.” He agreed, then frowned at an unfamiliar car parked on the street with Texas plates. “Hey, Sweetheart, do me a favor and call Jake quick. Tell him and Nat to come outside. You’re going to go with Nat into the house and call the police. Stay inside with Gracie.”

“Bradley, what’s going on?” You asked, looking around to see what you’d missed, your eyes landing on the very familiar car. You felt bile start to rise in your throat, your heart started to race.

“Baby, I need you to stay calm ok?” Bradley said, “There is nothing he can do to you. Neither Jake nor I will let him anywhere near you, I promise you that. Can you please call Jake? I’m going to park and get out so I’m able to get you ok?”

You nodded then pulled your phone out and called Jake.

“Tulip, why are you calling me from the driveway?” Jake asked, confusion in his voice.

“Jakey” You whispered, fear choking your voice. “It’s Trent… he’s here.”

A/N: PHEW! That was was along one...what do we think??? Always love hearing your reactions! <3 

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Not a one time thing

Pairing: Ghostface! Aemond Targaryen x reader x Ghostface! Jacaerys Velaryon

Word count: 3,179

C.W: cussing, mentions of murder/serial killings, Ghostface, Aemond, Ghostface! Aemond, Ghostface! Jace, Jace (These are deadass all warnings on their own), fem reader (could be read as otherwise but is fem focused), dom Aemond, dom Jace, sub reader, praise kink, oral (reader receiving), very slight fear kink, p in v, threesome, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it folks), double penetration, soft sex, slightly rough sex at times, fingering (reader receiving), slight dumbification, sub space, overstimulation, tummy bulge, slight breeding kink, slight edging, reader doesn’t know that Ghostfaces are Jace and Aemond at first, nicknames (pretty girl, angel, sweetheart, good girl, baby, many more omg), poc friendly, reader is meant to be shorter than Jace and Aemond, reader has hair that’s at the very least shoulder length, don’t mind me just projecting

Part 2

Author's notes: I tried lol, this is the first smut I've written and first fic and smut in second person I've written so hopefully it's good. Enjoy :)

The phone rang loudly, the sound echoing throughout the house. The shrill ringtone of the landline, something that nearly no one had anymore, was a deafening noise in the silence that currently occupied the home. The sound made you shudder, nearly covering your ears from the high pitch of it.

Recently, there had been quite a few people who had gotten phone calls on their landlines. All of them ended up dead. Maybe the killer has something against landlines, perhaps they had something against what others called “vintage” (but let’s face it, landlines aren’t that old). Now in hindsight, it was a bad idea to pick up but hey you only live once right and also you may or may not be kind of stupid? It wasn’t easy to ignore the ringing anyway, so you did what any insane person would do and picked up the phone.

“Hello?” Silence. For a moment, you could hear shuffling and then a greeting followed by your name being said by a rather attractive voice. It seemed heavily modulated but there was no denying that it sent a tingling throughout your body.

“Yeah? Who is this?” You asked, having not recognized who this could be. Why would someone be calling you on a Friday night? Looking over to the clock on the stove, its bright green digits read ‘11:51’. It was getting late and you couldn’t sleep, so you opted to watch a horror film because that’ll put you to sleep.

Popcorn bag in one hand and landline in the other, you moved towards the microwave and put the bag in once removing the plastic from it. Setting the timer, you hear a response.

“No one in particular. I just wanted to talk, pretty girl.” The name made you blush although with everything going on, this phone call left an unsettling feeling in the pit of your stomach.

“Jace, is this you? You know how I feel about prank calls, douche. Do I need to tell Aunt Nyra what you keep in that box under your bed-”

“This isn’t Jace, sweetheart.” The voice said. “Although, I am intrigued by what it is he keeps under his bed.” This was getting weird. Who could this be? Sounded like they knew Jace.

“Okay seriously man, who the fuck are you? I’ll have you know my boyfriend is a highly trained martial artist and athlete.” Maybe this wasn’t the brightest idea but hopefully it’d get the creep to stop. With any luck, this wasn’t that landline murder dude.

“Ahh yes, how could I forget?” He asked rhetorically. “What was his name again? Aemond Targaryen?” Goosebumps. How did he know? Maybe you did know who this was, maybe this was a stalker.

“You look so pretty right now, angel. Those pajamas really compliment your skin and body.” What the fuck. How could he see you inside your own house?

You were wearing a pretty cami and shorts, both trimmed with lace although they both seemed just barely long enough to cover anything. He saw you in this. The thought made the color drain from your face. Collecting your thoughts, you jumped into action. Running over to the large glass of the door that led to the porch, pulling the curtains to cover it. Then making your way to the front door and ensuring it was locked, you went to the side door. There it was, open all the way. The light outside by the door was flickering making the sight even more unsettling.

“Oh, do you want to see me? Come and find me, baby.” He nearly purred out. You could hear the amusement in his voice as you let out a sharp gasp. Bolting to the door, you move to close it. Luckily, no one was by it but that meant one of two things. He was either still outside or worse, he was in the house.

“Look I’m sorry if I did or said something wrong, okay? Just please leave me alone, please.” You were genuinely afraid. For all you know, by the end of the night you could be another kill to add to the count. At your plea, there was a chuckle.

“Oh just when I thought I couldn’t fall more in love with you. I love it when you beg.” And then, you heard a thud. It sounded close, down the hall maybe. You slowly made your way down the hall, keeping each step quiet.

All of a sudden, the line went dead. The end tone was so loud you dropped the phone. As it dropped, a tall black figure popped up and pushed you against the wall in the hallway. You let out a scream and held your breath, as though that might make you disappear. Slowly, you looked up and came face to face with the lunatic landline killer himself.

His right hand was on the wall by your face and his left rested leisurely on your hip. The hand on your hip pulled it forward, your lower halves flush against one another. You feel his hard on poking you and for some reason, it sends a hot flash to your core. The hand that was on the wall moved to caress your face gently, slowly moving towards your chin and tilting it, forcing you to make eye contact. Your eyes widen, heart beating inhumanely fast.

“So beautiful,” The same voice from the phone says. “And all mine.” He finishes, leaving you to furrow your eyebrows in confusion.

His hand goes from your face to the hood of the long black gown he wore, pulling it down and taking off the mask to reveal Aemond. Your Aemond. He stood there in all his glory, looking almost too attractive to be mad at. Almost.

“You ass! I thought I was gonna die.” At this, he pulls you into a tight embrace. A comforting hand stroking your hair and the other holding you tight while his pretty pink lips left a light kiss on your temple.

“I’m sorry, love. You know I would never hurt you.” He says, pushing you lightly away from him and cradling your face in his hands. You look back into his beautiful blue eye, the other nearly white with a jagged scar running down it. You both lean in and meet in the middle for what starts as a tender kiss. To say the kiss melted away any worries and fear you had was an understatement. It was as though everything dissolved into nothingness as Aemond held you so tenderly, with so much love as though you would shatter if he held you too tight or if he kissed you too hard. He gently nipped at you bottom lip, his tongue poking out very briefly to lick it and resume kissing you softly and moving away from the wall, towards the middle of the hall.

If you focused hard enough, you could ever so faintly hear the sound of the side door opening and closing. Just as soon as your attention went back to Aemond after hearing the sound, you were once again drawn out of your cloud by another pair of hands joining Aemond’s own. A body pressed to your backside, one hand resting on your hip as the other moved your hair to one side, the tickling sensation making you part from Aemond and jump slightly. You look over your shoulder and see Jace. Yet another gasp escapes you, now feeling both him and Aemond poking you, one from behind and the other from the front.

“Jace?” You ask, voice just barely above a whisper. Jacaerys Velaryon was your dearest friend, having known each other since diapers and the crush you had on him all these years didn’t help. He looks down at you, wearing a similar black gown to Aemond. His warm brown eyes full of nothing but adoration. He smiles at you. He says your name in such a way that it makes you weak, legs shaking ever so slightly.

“I called him here, my love. I’ve always known of your affections to him, I thought maybe I could share you for one night. Anything to make you happy.” Aemond’s tone is so soft, his words carefully crafted to not overwhelm you. Not yet, at least.

“Wha-” You’re interrupted by Jace turning you to face him, his lips barely touching yours. He pauses.

“Say the word and I’ll stop right away. Okay, pretty?” His tone was just as gentle as Aemond’s had been moments before. Looking at Aemond who gave you an encouraging nod and looking back to Jace, you nod as well. You want this, you really truly do. Without any further hesitation, Jace moves his lips back to where they were before, leaving the smallest gap. He waits for you to make the first move and you do.

The kiss is everything you thought it would be like. It was slow, sweet and soft and just so Jace. While you were kissing Jace, Aemond moved away for a moment. He backs up just enough to let his hands wander. They move towards your top first, tugging the thin straps of it down your shoulder. His hands went to grip your waist as his lips made their way to your neck. He left a gentle peck, momentarily pulling your attention only to be pulled back to Jace when he kisses you with more fervor.

“My love?” Aemond calls, fingertips brushing your bare shoulder. You and Jace pull apart, both panting and catching your own breaths. You look towards him, still panting slightly, and hum.

“Perhaps we should move to somewhere more comfortable, to our room?” He asks. You nod and are immediately taken by Jace, into his arms bridal style. The pair lead you up the stairs, to your room at the end of the hall on the right of the second story. Aemond opens the door, taking off his black gown to reveal a white shirt that clung to his torso oh so deliciously and a pair of jeans that did little to hide his hard on. Jace does the same once he places you on the bed, Aemond making his way to your side.

Aemond moves his hands to your top, looking at you briefly before taking it off completely. He makes sure not to rip it as your breasts are exposed to the cool air of the room, nipples hardening even more at the temperature. Jace moves towards your other side on the bed, hands lingering on your sides just beneath the breasts before making their way to the waistband of your shorts. Tugging the shorts and your panties down in one swift motion, also very careful not to rip the delicate fabric. This was his and Aemond’s favorite set you wore, they couldn’t risk ripping it especially since it made you look so innocent. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about this very situation. It was so painfully obvious he wanted you, that’s why Aemond offered this to him. They were killing together, if his baby wanted then they could fuck together too.

Aemond, becoming uncomfortable in his jeans, quickly yanked them off alongside his shirt. Jace decides to follow suit and they both return to your side before you even realize they are gone. This whole ordeal left your mind in a haze, now clouded by nothing but sheer lust and desire. All you wanted was them, all you needed was them.

Jace’s hands immediately go to your breasts, pinching the nipples and rolling them between his fingers. You let out a small moan at this, causing Jace to smile. Aemond moves his own hands lower, down to your core. His fingers tease your clit, after hearing a prolonged whine of protest from you he concedes and pushes a finger into you. He pumps his finger slowly at first and gradually picks up pace. You let out a louder moan this time and then a squeal when Jace takes a nipple into his mouth, sucking and tonguing at it. His other hand fondles the other breast, giving them both the attention they deserve.

“Don’t hold back, darling. Let us hear those pretty sounds.” Aemond says, adding a second and third finger and moving his face down. He begins to suckle on your clit harshly, fingers now pumping at an unrelenting speed. Jace finally stops his own attack on your breasts, having moved to the other one a moment ago. He now prompts to kiss your lips, planting short pecks on them and moving to your neck. He sucks and bites until he reaches a spot that causes you to gasp. He smiles against your skin, moans increasing at the dual stimulation. Aemond smiles too, taking his fingers out and replacing this with his tongue as a finger goes to rub your clit. You let out moan after moan, the stimulation too much but not enough at the same time.

Aemond takes one of your legs, moving it to rest on his shoulder and not even a second later you nearly scream. You were oh so close now, he knew this and Jace knew it too. Jace moved to leave love bites on your breasts as Aemond detached from your pussy long enough to say “Come.” and resumes his task. Your body spasms and you scream out, Aemond riding out your high and Jace kissing you once more, one of his hands holding your own close to his heart.

Aemond comes up from between your legs, his face glistening with your juices and he leans in to kiss you, pushing Jace’s face away. You can taste yourself on him, both of you moaning into the kiss and Jace drawing little circles on your thighs. Aemond breaks the kiss, looking at you with adoration once more. He takes his cock in his hands, pumping it a few times and lining it up with your pussy.

“Been such a good girl for us, love. Our good girl, yeah?” Jace asks rhetorically, you nod to what he says.

“Ready for me, sweetness? I’ll need you to use your words, okay?” Aemond asks, looking for any signs of hesitation.

“Am ready,” You say quietly. “Want this. So much. Aem, Jace please.” You look between the two of them. They look at each other before returning their attention towards you, both smiling widely. They knew that this was the only thing you could think about now and knowing they had this effect on you just made them even harder. Aemond slowly inserts himself inside, inch by inch going deeper as your pussy swallows him.

“So wet, my love. So tight.” Aemond groans, hips stuttering and stopping when he’s fully inside. He waits a few moments to let you adjust, beginning to thrust when he sees you nod at him. His pace is slow at first, much like how most of this whole ordeal has been, and increases as time passes. He thrusts faster, harder, with more and more fervor. He couldn’t get enough of you; how tight you are, how wet you are. No matter how many times you have sex, or make love, he can never get enough of you. Your pussy clenches so beautifully, his cock twitching and pulsing as he gets closer to his release.

All of a sudden, he stops. Aemond flips the two of you over so you are now on top of him, he begins to thrust again. Even faster, harder and at such a delicious angle that it has you seeing stars. But once again, just as you are near your orgasm, he stops.

Another pair of hands come to rest on your waist, just above Aemond’s. You whine and try to move up and down on Aemond’s cock but two pairs of hands hold you in place.

“S’okay pretty baby, it’s just me. Can’t leave me out of the fun now can you?” Jace asks teasingly, you shaking your head just wanting a release. Jace chuckles at your desperation, Aemond joining too. You whine, wanting nothing more than to orgasm again. You were so close and it was taken from you after all. Jace takes his own cock in one hand, the other still on your waist. The head rubs on your folds, right by Aemond’s cock, him letting out a quiet moan.

“Well get on with it,” He urges. “Can’t you see our good girl is needy.” And with that, Jace slowly inserts his own cock beside Aemond. The stretch was a bit painful, both not being small in size, but at the same time the sting felt good. Once Jace was fully inside, all three of you let out a moan. Jace and Aemond could feel you squeezing them both, trying to accommodate their sizes. A minute passes, then two and you begin to relax.

“Please.” You let out a quiet plea, and who were they not to oblige their sweet baby? Both men begin their thrusts, slow and steady. Jace thrusting in as Aemond thrust out and vice versa, never leaving a moment where you weren’t full. A bump appeared on your stomach, Aemond letting out a quiet ‘fuck’ when he sees it. He places his hand on it and pushes down, all three of you letting out a moan. You all were so close to finishing now, Aemond and Jace picking up the pace now. Not soon after, you came. The orgasm was long and hit you with such a force that you slumped onto Aemond, body completely giving out on you. The pair continued their thrusts, chasing their own orgasms now.

Their thrusts become faster and faster, close to their own releases. Aemond comes first, his cum shoots into you and painting your walls. You moan out of overstimulation, Jace coming soon after Aemond and both of them fucking it all right back into you. Finally, Aemond lifts you slightly and removes his cock, Jace following suit and leaving you empty.

Jace moves you to lay on your back on the bed, both admiring you before Aemond moves to get a washcloth. He cleans you up as Jace calms you when you whimper and move away, so sensitive to the touch now. Tears begin to roll down your face, Jace kisses them away. Aemond picks your limp body up, taking you to the bathroom now to pee. He wasn’t going to risk any infections, not now and not ever. Once you two return, the three of you lie in bed. Your head rests on Jace’s chest and Aemond’s arms curl around you.

They both take a moment to look at you, your eyes nearly shut. You were so exhausted that you could sleep for days. Right before losing consciousness, you mumble out a ‘I love you both’ and drift off. Jace and Aemond look at each other briefly, their attention returning to you once more. They both knew that they loved you too. Now it was clear. This would definitely not be a one time thing.

[shadowsandsunset]

I wish nothing but good things for Oliver Stark and Lou Ferrigno Jr.

They gave us such an authentic, gentle, tender experience. I've watched the clip of that kiss several dozen times now.

Oliver, especially, has been amazing in his interviews and social media posts, empathetic and honest and sweet. I don't know his sexuality and I don't speculate in real people's sexualities, but regardless he seems like a true ally. He seems to Get It.

As someone who came out later in life** it really touches my heart what they're doing.

9-1-1 has always seemed to try to do good by their queer characters and I really appreciate that.

Hen and Karen have always been a fantastic and very real feeling example of a wlw relationship.

This show is doing amazing. I wish nothing but good and happy things for the cast and crew who make this happen.

**Under the cut is my coming out/self acceptance story if you're interested.

Tw: repression, self harm, drug use, shitty relationships both familial and romantic.

I tried to come out as a teenager in the early 2000s after I kissed a girl for the first time. It did not go well.

My mother was a complicated woman and she loved me very much, but when I told her I was bi (I prefer pan now but at the time I didn't have that word) she told me it was a phase and that she was disappointed, that she would always love me but that it was wrong in the eyes of God and she couldn't accept it.

Disappointing my mother was worse than her being angry. It felt like my heart was carved out of my chest. I feel like if she had been angry or openly cruel I could have fought back, but her sadness destroyed me. I was 16 then and I continued to live at home until I was 24. I'm in my mid/late 30s now.

So I repressed that part of myself for well over a decade and spent a lot of time depressed and miserable. I self harmed and did A LOT of drugs. I'm clean now except for super occasional weed use. I have a lot of scars from self harm.

My mom died several years ago and it wasn't until after her death that I allowed myself to even think about it, any of it. I was in a relationship with a man for eight years that was loving but he was an alcoholic and I had to walk on eggshells around him because of his mental health struggles; he was emotionally abusive but in a way that was only apparent in hindsight. I thought that my relationship with him was as good as I was going to get. We broke up not long after my mom died.

The only family member I am out to is my older sister, who has been amazing and accepting and loves me completely. Without her support I would be lost.

I have now dated/hooked up with women, men, nb and trans people. I have explored my own gender identity (it's whatever, I don't feel like a woman despite having the female equipment and appearing female in body, I feel pretty masculine but not like a man either, and I don't have strong opinions on pronouns, but I feel like I fail at femininity and masculinity in equal measure so I call myself genderqueer. I don't have any desire to take hormones or have any surgeries, I just want to be a person without having to perform gender).

I live in a conservative small city in the US south and I feel disconnected from the wider queer community. I don't know how to bridge that gap. There is a small queer community here but you can't really be openly out and be safe.

I'll be going to my first pride event this June. I'm excited and terrified because I don't feel like I'm queer enough or The Right Kind of queer, which is such a stupid stress to have, but I don't have many friends to talk about this with and I am hoping to get out there and make some but I'm nervous. I'm socially awkward and kinda weird. I'm also single and trying to mingle, lol.

I like who I am now but it was an incredibly difficult road to get to this place. I'm still on that journey, and maybe I always will be but that's ok. I'm finally myself.

[charmedreincarnation]

hii maya!!! i have a success story and im so excited bc this is my first manifestation success story.

for context for everyone else, i was getting bullied at my workplace. my boss hated me and would mock me in front of people and my coworkers disliked me and disincluded me from things and talked behind my back. It was so bad and i was searching for another job instead even though this was so close to my house, the pay was good, the actual work was easy. etc. I told maya abt this and she was such an angel and would let me vent to her and gave me a lot of advice about manifesting.

I wish I could say that I took her advice and changed my life but I honestly struggled a lot. I rmbr crying every single night before going to work and constantly just dreading being there or the thought of having to be there.

But everytime I vented, maya would always tell me to just affirm while listening to theta waves as I was going to sleep so I tried to atleast do that. In hindsight this was a really big thing. I was recently looking into SATS and reading posts about how important what you do before sleeping is because you are super suggestible. I think crying every night made me keep manifesting that my job sucked and stuff whereas affirming that it was great helped to start changing that.

I also tried to ignore the bullying and just act like I was being treated correctly. Like one time my boss said that she wished she had hired someone else and before I would have said nothing and just gone home and cried but instead I just laughed, taking it as a joke, and said that I'll make sure to work hard so that she can be proud of hiring me.

Slowly over the course of 2 weeks things started to change. We got 2 new people added into the team and one of them sits next to me and is my friend and I talk to him a lot. My boss and coworkers are okay with me now, like we have nice small talks and I haven't been undermined in a while. I made an error and before it would have become a big issue and while I did get scolded slightly, it was more of a "be more careful when doing this" versus what I usually got which was "you are so stupid, why are you like this." I also made a lot of other friends at work and work is pretty fun! I look forward to going to work sometimes (not all the time bc I'd rather just be at home in bed) but yeah it has changed so much and I'm much happier.

i just want to thank you so much maya. you are such an angel and i genuinely appreciate you so much. i can't wait to come back to you with a void success story!!

I am beyond proud of you! Your Success is proof that you overcame everything and persevered. But I actually want to point out your reaction to your boss, and encourage everyone to follow suit. You quite literally laughed at the 3D which is what I would do metaphorically but I mean physically probably works better lol.

Regardless I’m happy for everything you’ve accepted as yours. I’m also glad this is only encouraging you to want to go farther and achieve your entire dream life, not just a good one you can tolerate. When I reached this stage I remember I had a thought like “well maybe I should just accept this” “or it’s not that bad now I guess so do I really need to continue or can I chill” and if you have to ask yourself that the answer is no and you know you deserve it all at the highest degree.

[earthbison]

Got a strange feeling from watching the new Life is Strange trailer. Something about seeing an older Max within a new universe and story had me feeling reflective. It's odd looking back at how immersed I was in the first Life is Strange when I was in university. A good game with tons of symbolism and artistic elements for sure. However, I can see in hindsight a lot of that immersion for me was in fact just escapism.

I don't really have an interest in playing the new game, I just find it odd remembering a time when I compared myself to Max. I am nothing like her now at all. I'm talkative, bubbly, extrovert leaning ambivert for the most part. I'm always out on adventures or talking to people on the phone or making stupid jokes at work while tattooing lol

Max was this shy observer of her own life, and at that time I think I was too. Now everything is different, and well, in short- that feels pretty good.

[yurisorcerer]

If anime were appraised solely on their last episodes, Metallic Rouge would be pretty decent, but they aren't, so it isn't.

I'm not going to recap all the various little revelations and plot twists here because honestly who could possibly care? The gist is that the events of the preceding twelve episodes don't truly matter because everything was really just building up to this, a showdown between Rouge and her father figure Dr. Jung, a character who is barely in the show before this point (even in his hooded guise as The Puppetmaster), and who feels ancilliary to much of what the series was trying to do before now.

The actual events of this episode feel very random and I'd almost say fanficky? In isolation it's not a terrible finale but finales of course do not occur in isolation, when taken against the backdrop of everything Metallic Rouge could've been, and indeed *actively tried to be.* The Neans' plight doesn't matter because the entire thing was orchestrated by Doc Jung, which he demonstrates in a long monologue that comes off as trying way, way, wayyyy too hard to make this boring cutout of a Super Intelligent Chessmaster type character seem interesting. If the show had just focused on this from the start instead of interpolating like four unrelated plots along the way, it might've worked a lot better, but it's inherently hard to know.

It would certainly feel less distasteful. I cannot get over the fact that this series treated "serious examination of discrimination and a moral question over the ethics of armed struggle," regardless of its (deeply shitty and unbelievably milquetoast) conclusions, as just another hat it could put on and take off at will. None of it ends up mattering! At the last minute Rouge just decides to free the Neans, because *now* she thinks it's the right thing to do. If we were going to build Rouge up as some kind of liberator and savior it would've had to start many episodes ago, and despite occasional toothless gestures in that direction it, really didn't. I hope fellow tumblr user @naomiortman doesn't mind me digging up the comments they left in the tags of their reblog of my last writeup on this show, because honestly, they're completely correct and get to the heart of the problem of why *this specifically* was a pose that the show should never have attempted to strike if it wasn't going to commit.

The whole thing is just very offputting!

And as for everything *else* the show tries to do, the genre-hopping was occasionally fun when it remembered to not be stupid about it, but that was really only a handful of episodes in hindsight and if someone doesn't feel that that's enough to make up for the show's *many* writing mistakes, I find it very hard to disagree with them.

And then there's the last couple minutes of this episode which....reveal at the end that Clown Robot Girl was secretly a Usurper all along and installed a virus turning all Neans into murderbots, which just completely threatens to saw the legs off what happened mere seconds before, and then it turns out to completely not matter because Gene installed an antivirus beforehand because he knew this would happen somehow? (Gene is a nothing of a character and is another reason this show's writing sucks eggs.) And thus Neans have freedom now, because of a completely unforeshadowed, last-minute minor plot twist that occurred offscreen.

This show is hilarious, and deeply unserious. My friend Sredni (@ihfsttinuf) also pointed out that apparently a bunch of this a wholesale bite of the end of RahXephon? I haven't seen that show so I can't comment, but like, lol. (EDIT: That's apparently by the same guy, by the way! So if anything it's self-plagiarism.)

Just so this entire post doesn't come off like an angry rant, there are a few things that work. Mainly the buildup of real, mutual trust between Rouge and Naomi. (Or maybe I just want it to work because otherwise this show truly does have nothing going for it on the writing side.) At the very least, it's delightfully gay, I like the visual of the two of them together inside Rouge's mindspace. Although even this comes with an icky side effect in that Naomi is now like, functionally dead as her own physical person. IDK man, any time I try to give this show credit for something I find another way in which it could have so easily done better.

Hey, at least they brought the dedicated combat theme back, that's good. And Cyan is right, Rouge's new form does look really cool. (Why did they feel the need to kill Cyan, by the way? You can't both have a shitty central narrative AND kill all your best characters.)

I don't want to come off as though I just completely hate the thing top to bottom. It was entertaining on a week to week basis, but in trying to do so many different things it just kind of does nothing, and I find it really frustrating for that reason. The visual aspect of the show remains compelling (I love the Gladiator designs, seriously), but I could never in good conscience recommend this to someone even if I don't "regret watching it" per se.

What a mess! Glad it's over.

[skaruresonic]

Incidentally your analysis of Shadow's self dehumanization in Battle is what pisses me off with what Ian did with Shadow in early Sonic Universe. He took the "weapons aren't supposed to have hearts" severely out of context, applying it to all weapons even though we know Shadow was made more than just being one, and Emerl was modified in an attempt to no longer be one. He had Shadow randomly try to appeal to Omega and Metal as though they actually had individuality or thought to think of themselves when they never showed it. Metal fucking calls Shadow out on his "purpose" , but Shadow still naively keeps wangsting of "oh woe, another weapon didn't become good" which is stupid. Omega meanwhile had to have Gamma's "soul" uploaded to it to even change. Add to the fact that all attempts of Shadow doing this failed and eventually was abandoned, it's doubly infuriating

And then a couple Universe issues later he's being a sub wuss to Rouge being 100% with nuking Blaze's dimension just for gems :/

Flynn write moral dilemmas one way, and that's ripping off Batman Star Wars:

Kind of makes Shadow's refusal to give Blaze the Sol Emeralds in Team Treasure Tango even stupider in hindsight because this exchange occurred before TTT. Somehow he regressed from offering Metal mercy to refusing to let Blaze have the Sol Emeralds just because Rouge really, really wanted them.

The implication is supposed to be that Shadow's learned that he's more than a weapon, but the message I'm getting here is "he can turn his moral scruples on and off like a faucet"

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Metal fucking calls Shadow out on his "purpose" , but Shadow still naively keeps wangsting of "oh woe, another weapon didn't become good" which is stupid.

It's funny too because Shadow pretty much takes the opposite approach in Battle. He's all gloom and doom, waxing poetic about how destruction is the fate of weapons of war.

Flynn really telling on himself with how much he hasn't played Battle xP

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Omega meanwhile had to have Gamma's "soul" uploaded to it to even change. Add to the fact that all attempts of Shadow doing this failed and eventually was abandoned, it's doubly infuriating

Then he doesn't have free will? Then he's possessed? Then Shadow has no reason to be all "come to the light"? lol wtf there was no reason to assume Omega didn't have free will in Heroes, given that he has a personality and expresses anger towards Eggman.

tfw the peak writing raises even more horrifying existential implications than the original

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And then a couple Universe issues later he's being a sub wuss to Rouge being 100% with nuking Blaze's dimension just for gems :/

Even worse, Blaze told him if she didn't get the Sol Emeralds back that her world would end horrifically.

Actually, no, he admitted he didn't know how Blaze's world would end, just that she needed the Sol Emeralds back. Which smacks of pedantry to me; did he really need to know the gory details to know that apocalypse is bad?

Amy told him that Blaze's world would end in more general terms and it took him at least three Sadboy Glances(tm) to get over himself.

bruh.png

[leporellian]

don giovanni modern au headcanons

'didnt you already make a modern au headcanons list like 2-3 years ago' yeah and i'll do it again baby. this time though its better

(if you're wondering i sourced all the last names from various don juan plays over The Years, except for elvira's, which is a tribute to her original actress in the moliere play.)

on don giovanni himself - giovanni tenorio is, essentially, a rich idiot with no day job. his dad is a republican congressman, and giovanni says he "disagrees" with him, but really this means "giovanni calls himself a libertarian and thinks weed should be legal while Not Caring about any of his dad's other policies". - (he will change political affiliations on a dime if he's trying to persuade/seduce someone.) - (it's also funny he's a libertarian bc he's also very much a catholic still.) - giovanni's parents are pretty excessively doting on him and refuse to believe that their sweet little angel, their only child, could be a... well, you know. in childhood his mother was excessively permissive while his father was straight up physically abusive (in the "kids these days don't get paddled like they used to" way), and while it's unclear how much of that influenced the kind of person giovanni became it seems like both parents regret their parenting in their own way. - because of his family being old money, as well as his dad's stock investments (don't tell anyone LOL), giovanni has a stupid amount of money he usually treats as entirely disposable. he has no idea how to manage it and usually spends a good amount of it buying stupid shit to entertain himself for like 5 minutes or to aid in a Scheme. - (this has led to situations where leporello will come home to find giovanni holding an umbrella cockatoo and swearing it as their new pet, for example, because giovanni thought it would be fun. and it was, for maybe about twenty-six minutes.) - also because of his dad being a rich congressman with Connections giovanni is pretty easily able to get away with everything. any time leporello questions this giovanni goes "oh it'll be just like ted kennedy" which annoys lep to NO end because he doesn't even know what to say to that - he lives together with leporello, his childhood-friend-turned-roommate-turned-possible-indentured-servant, in some stupid ass mcmansion somewhere in the chicago suburbs. i'm saying naperville for now bc naperville is like the mcmansion-slash-unhinged-rich-people-behavior capital of illinois godbless

(why does everyone in this modern au live in or around chicago? because i know that place best. personal bias sorree)

on leporello - leporello catalinon was childhood friends with giovanni, which is funny bc they're so different in terms of background and upbringing - he was born the eldest of five (his siblings are all sisters) into a working-class jewish household, not too far from where giovanni grew up. he and giovanni met in elementary school and bonded, because back when he was a kid giovanni was actually somewhat nice. - eventually giovanni got in trouble in high school doing some dumb (and in hindsight relatively harmless) shit and giovanni's parents decided being his being in a public school was the problem, so he and leporello fell out of touch when giovanni relocated to some catholic school - leporello has a passion for the archival process, so he went through college with the goal of someday becoming a historical archivist. this was a good idea in that he's good at that and a bad idea in that it left him with a bunch of debt he couldn't pay back. - while coming home the summer after college he got back in touch with giovanni, who was like 'oh hey you know you could come live with me and i won't charge rent AND i can pay off your college debt for you'. leporello was like 'oh that sounds great :)' only to realize once he moved in that Something Was Not Right About Giovanni Now, and that somehow in the six years they had fallen out of touch giovanni had become... not different but definitely lacking something. - (but at this point he'd already been roped into the abusive-friendship-slash-indentured-servitude deal and he couldn't imagine any other options. so.) - also he's autistic but you knew that already.

on elvira - elvira duparc actually grew up more near central illinois, which... for those unaware of the illinois Landscape once you get out of chicagoland it turns into 'corn and weird republican backwater towns' Fast. so she grew up in a small republican town - her family was one of the better-off there, and it was a town where everyone Knew each other. so like she was considered upper-class within the community but compared to the kind of money giovanni or even ottavio's families have it's not That much - giovanni ended up in the area while on a trip somewhere and you know how it ended up going. he neglected to tell elvira about his parents or anything so until she finds him again she has No idea his dad's a congressman - he essentially pulled a 'look at me i'm so helpless and lost all on my lonesome' sort of thing and elvira, who really is ultimately an 'i can fix him' person even if she would deny the charge, took him in. in some ways he was seemingly perfect bc he was just as catholic as her family but there was also a definite subconscious idea of Escape in that giovanni had traveled much more than she had and if she were to be his partner she'd likely go move in with him away from home - anyway he abandons her and the whole town immediately turns on her and she's gossiped about like she's the town's prime slut. so she buys a beat up volvo and gets out of dodge to go find giovanni and hold him accountable (or... fix him.) - also she's bisexual and has adhd but she doesn't know either of those things until After the plot of the opera. godbless.

on donna anna and don ottavio - anna ulloa and ottavio robinson are engaged but really they don't seem to be a good couple... anna is always rather closed off (Read: Closeted Lesbian Alert) while ottavio is. definitely says he loves anna and appears to be devoted to her but it's unclear how much he'd actually do for in a time of crisis. and Well - ottavio and giovanni were actually college buddies and their families know each other bc ottavio's dad is Also a congressman. ottavio claims he doesn't endorse any of giovanni's "tomfoolery" but at the same time his attitude about it is to essentially just ignore it. some suspect he secretly envies giovanni in some way and just never says anything about it. ottavio also seems to be trying to go into local office and work his way up to being a gov official on the same level of his old man. - actually ottavio's first Government Job was being an assistant for pedro ulloa, anna's dad, who's a county commissioner. which was how he and anna ended up meeting. - anna very much wants to hold office just like her dad. in fact she probably wants it even more than ottavio does. but she hasn't ever actually Ran for office yet and just busies herself with various government jobs. meanwhile ottavio is like, on a school board or something and is almost sort of indignant about it - anna is deep in denial about being a lesbian and tries to reason why her and ottavio are a Fine Couple Actually constantly. she's been asked on multiple occasions if she's aromantic and she's like NO... i'm just PRAGMATIC and TAKING IT SLOW that's all... but like. looks into camera We know what's going on. - (to be fair anna's parents were very distant with one another to the point you could claim Both of them were deep in some closet or another and just never fully figured it out. so anna doesn't have any baseline of what a relationship Should look like.) - (anna's dad was basically like... you know the dad from bambi? best possible comparison i can make.)

on zerlina and masetto - they're just some guys. literally - zerlina aminta and masetto batricio are two freshly-graduated-from-high-school sweethearts who are like, going into the local community college together or some shit. zerlina wants to be a schoolteacher but honestly she absolutely would teach children swears if she was able to so she's a long way from her goal. masetto... idk what masetto wants to become. a physical therapist maybe? - they haven't even voted for the first time yet so they don't actually know that much about anyone's Government Parents. like when giovanni's trying to butter up zerlina he's all like ...you know my dad could let you get anything... he's congressman tenorio... and she's like Who the fuck is that. which rubs giovanni more of a wrong way than he admits. - zerlina absolutely still reads warrior cats and could name nearly every major and minor character in my little pony: friendship is magic. note that neither of these passions are in a childish way but in a 'oh she is kind of unhinged godbless' way. - masetto is also autistic but in like the complete opposite direction of leporello. leporello is a chatty extrovert autistic who is so so desperate to please people and understand social skills. masetto is polite but beyond that he really cannot be bothered to give too much of a shit. - which means between masetto "will say the obvious thing everyone is thinking but doesn't want to say" and zerlina "has no filter and will give her honest opinion completely unprompted" they WILL collectively tear you a new one without even realizing what they're doing. leporello was around them for like 30 minutes tops and they somehow fully psychologically analyzed him and nearly drove him to tears without realizing it. (which is funny given he's like 10-11 years older than them.) - zerlina can and likes to drive like a maniac but she chooses not to most of the time <3 she wanted to be a monster truck driver when she grew up and honestly it's unknown if she ever actually gave up on that dream or not

on Other Stuff - i think giovanni dies by grease fire. he's overworked leporello to the point lep can't cook like usual, and once elvira gives her as-per-canon spiel abt him Stopping right the Fuck Now he's already got his mind off it. so when things erupt into flames he doesn't think and just shoves a whole pot of water onto it thinking That will Stop It (it didn't) - i'm not entirely sure the specifics of the statue here but i think leporello very clearly remembers that after they'd both been burned by the grease fire- leporello being in better condition than giovanni- giovanni started shrieking about pedro ulloa and "the man of stone" and started panicking about his last rites. the smoke had made leporello too woozy to see much but he does feel like Something Else Was There. who knows how much of it was real or how much of it was leporello's smoke-induced delusions - afterward when leporello was in the hospital over the whole thing giovanni's parents decided to give him the choice of either suing them or them just paying him enough money to clear both his medical bills and the leftover debt he already had so he can start anew. leporello is too tired to fight at this point so he just takes the money. he finds he has a bit left over and donates that away to women's shelters - the whole story is reported in the media as being that giovanni committed attempted assault and manslaughter, and then purposely killed himself over it with a grease fire when he realized the cops were closing in on him. the death report isn't exactly accurate but leporello doesn't know how to explain what he's seen so it just remains that way. giovanni's father resigns in disgrace a few months later because it led to the reveal of just How Many of his son's actions he was covering up. - leporello and elvira are friends of Course they are friends. she shaves off her hair and becomes a total biker butch and he ditches all the clothes giovanni got for him that he found So scratchy and uncomfortable. they both live in their own apartments now and both are visibly much happier for it - (although i do imagine the don's abuse and the nature of his death- he had a closed casket funeral, i'll say that- have left leporello with a case of ptsd) - about a year after everything goes down anna dumps ottavio and starts dating elvira like 2 weeks later LOLLLLLL... and another year on leporello finds his own partner that he loves and trusts. so. they're happy in the end even if the path there isn't smooth - you might also ask, 'wait if anna and ottavio both wanted to hold political office who got there first?' the answer is zerlina. she ran for school board and got in by sheer willpower alone like something out of looney tunes. it turns out she's way better at arguing about things than she is at actually teaching kids. GODBLESS!

[cure-typhoon]

It's an rp inspired by pawnstuck, basically it's called "The Gambit" and occurs whenever a session goes stagnant by falling completely flat, i.e all players supposed to enter are unable to enter in any timeline, in this case due to the lord of doom messing around with prophecies and rule setting

Sburb, in it's aim to produce an additional universe Merges the lands of Prospit and Derse together into Carapacia. The carapacians which usually act as the warriors act instead as potential players for their sburb, sboard in this case,(the pawnstuck inspiration is clear here) in this, the two carapacian sides are relatively friendly, but at the same time, are still two monarchies sharing control over one planet.

At which point sburb activities continue, but with pawns, and sometimes carapacian royalty joining the session to produce a new universe, the session's moons being inspired by the chess variant: Quadular. With their own species: The Scalar(basically draconic chess pieces)

This is the basics of it

Ngl i havent read Pawnstuck so i am a little lost on the references but i think the premises sounds great, yesterday i had a really bad headache so i couldnt answer inmediately but now reading it in the morning i like the structure of the session

I find it cool how you used a chess variant for the moons as Prospit and Derse arent the moons now (for what i understood) so you searched for a way to filled it up and one that sounds pretty cool if i say so.

Also i like how this is like a game mechanic in case of no player able to enter, i wished i had that hindsight while writting my stories and not just going ''fuck it we ball'' lol

Anyway idk if your searching for opinions or if youre trying to create a fanadventure/comic or just wanted to talk about a cool idea you had (i do all three dont worry) but i will tell you that if your trying to create is as an adventure, write all down, all the ideas and have documents for this

Dont be like me and go ''i will have it in my head'' because god is it messy lmao im just starting to actually try to have a schedule around this and it helps a lot .3. anyway good luck with whatever your planning or if your not planning anything thats good tho, because god is it hard, its hard and no one understands/jk

Edit: I just read the RP i may be stupid (Anyway write all down anyway)

[the1975attheirverybest]

thank you for your response to my ask and to the other anon for giving more input! you're completely right about her wealth meaning she could do other things and that she could publicise it. I honestly had never thought of that before, which in hindsight is pretty stupid of me, but you're very right. the fact that she only buys carbon credits when she's quite literally a billionaire is fucking ridiculous. again, thank you both for responding in a kind way and opening my eyes :)

I admire taylor for a lot of things, but her treatment of the world/ blasé approach to global warming is certainly not one of them.

Oh, for sure! That’s why conversations with other people are fun. You get to hear perspectives other than your own and stuff. I mean as long as they remain respectful lol.

But yeah, I get that and I appreciate the fans who acknowledge this about her. Those who try to twist facts and gaslight anyone who is critical of her are the only people that I don’t fuck with like no I’m not gonna waste time arguing with that haha

[purpleshadow-star]

A lot of lmm us just white saviors trying to justify disliking him just cause THEY were weird and annoying about Hamilton 😭 even the criticism about the casting is pretty stupid...it's...a musical. not a documentary? and wouldn't it be even worse if it was a bunch of white ppl rapping? idk ppl don't have media literacy like at all. plus it's literally about Hamiltons life specifically...certain things aren't gonna be at the forefront but to act like they were never mentioned at all??? like even barring the slavery stuff, if u saw it and went "what a nice guy!" after seeing him cheat on his wife and b over all duplicitous then ur also very stupid. idk ppl pmo 💀

Yeah, I've never understood people who say that the musical Hamilton is glorifying any of the founding fathers. Like they all did bad things in the show, except maybe Washington, but I feel like he was portrayed in a more neutral way? Idk, maybe that's just me. LMM actually did say in an interview that there was so much of Hamilton's life that he didn't include simply because he couldn't fit it in. He said you could pretty much pick any moment of Hamilton's life and make a whole musical about it, so he had to pick and choose what moments he wanted to convey. Tbh, I'm impressed that Lin managed to essentially fit Hamilton's whole life into the musical, even if a lot of moments had to be glossed over due to time.

Also, people disliking the casting is weird to me cause the whole point is to give more people of color more opportunities to shine on Broadway since they didn't have too many opportunities at the time.

None of these things are bad? Things can always be better in hindsight, but still, I don't see a real reason that anyone should morally dislike him. Like, everyone can have their own opinions, but to say that he's objectively a bad person is actually just wrong, lol.

Also also, people who dislike things/people just because they're good and/or popular are just weird to me.

Anyway, nobody's perfect, but Lin Manuel Miranda is definitely not as bad as some people try to make him out to be.

[bisluthq]

Swiftdom's collective stupidity never ceases to baffle me. Joever is, like you say, the simplest and most normal boring thing that happens all the time with ltrs: 2 people love each other a lot, have been committed for years and arranging their lives to make it work, then gradually as a result of normal life circumstances (new job opportunities, newfound professional passions etc) one or both parties' priorities change, they start to grow apart in spite of still trying hard to make things work, until one or both of them realizes that the effort and sacrifice being invested is not worth it anymore and wishing for things to go back to how good they once were won't solve anything, and so it ends. Idk it was very clear from Lover era and Miss Americana that she felt pretty certain at the time that her peak as a popstar had already passed and it was gradually moving downhill, so even if the pandemic hadn't happened she would've continued to write and create a bunch but gone for an indie sound and/or writing for other artists.Their plan seemed to be to set base somewhere in north London and he would continue with his acting career and she would obviously still be Taylor Swif, only not 1989 era/2023 levels of fame Taylor Swift, but Lover era levels of fame Taylor Swift, which imho was something that felt manageable to both of them. 2019-2020 media appearances and promo from both of them was more open and in hindsight I think that point was the ideal balance for them. Then the pandemic happen, which halted the previous momentum Joe's acting career had been having, folkmore happened as a direct result of lockdown, which along with the re-recordings catapulted her to unprecedented levels of fame that neither of them could've possibly anticipated and that tbqh Joe didn't sign up for 🤷🏻‍♀️ objectively, it would've been stupid of Taylor to ignore the opportunity so imo it isn't fair to shame her for "choosing her career over him" bc Eras was literally the logical thing to do. And it's what almost anyone in her position would've done🤷🏻‍♀️at the same time, it would've been stupid of Joe to accept being a trophy husband who follows her around (I personally would love to be that for her lol) bc that would've never made him happy bc he yknow likes to act and likes to work. It would've been unfair for him to surrender to the excessive fame that he clearly dislikes just to stay in a rs bc besties that's a fucking lifelong thing in spite of how much Swifties insist that it's not a big deal 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

So neither one is "right" or "wrong" bc no one cheated (physically at least) and neither did anything horrible like dv or stealing so genuinely the discourse at this point feels like a 12 year old's take and idk if it's cos there's a bunch of actual 12 yolds online or if it's just everyone being incredibly stupid and/or cognitively impaired lmao

idk I think it’s a lot of people not being willing to treat celebs as real people. Like no one on a tv show breaks up because shit just gets weird - people know they do but like TAYLOR SWIFT (the character) can’t because it doesn’t make sense to people. Idk. Just accept that she’s a person and it’s way easier to stan.