#but in the way that when i've gone on first dates with men we've met in some place far from my home and i've only given a vague description

[lepakonpaska]

god i've missed dating women (and will ramble more in the tags)

[photogirl894]

Congratulations on all of the followers, Morgan 🥳

I'm popping in for a very simple event request. Fem!Reader x Fives with Prompt #6: A hug from behind. Something soft and sweet. I'm a sucker for physical affection 🥰

Please and thank you 💚💚💚

@the-bad-batch-baroness

Thank you so much, @the-bad-batch-baroness , my friend!! 💜

Oooh, I haven't written for Fives yet! This should be fun!! 😊

"Wherever You Are"

6. A hug from behind

Pairing: Fives x fem reader

***

Being a waitress at 79's was definitely one of the best jobs you'd ever had. A good majority of the Clones who frequented the establishment were very friendly and regaled you with plenty of thrilling war stories.

However, the biggest reason why working at 79's was the best job you'd had was because that was where you'd met Fives, your boyfriend and the sweetest, most loving man in existence.

He'd started off trying to flirt with you, just like how a lot of other Clones would, and you thought nothing of it, playfully going along with it, even though you did find him extremely handsome. Then one night, he sincerely told you he thought you were beautiful, kind and fun and he wanted to take you on a proper date since he'd be on Coruscant for a little while. That surprised you in a good way and you'd accepted...and boy, were you glad you did! He was nothing but gentlemanly and charming through your whole first date: opening doors for you, complimenting you and showing interest in you and your life. Which was so much more than any other man you'd gone on dates with.

Since that day, he spent as much time as he could with you when he was back on the planet. Even if you were working, he would just chill at 79's until your shift was over and then you two would go back to your apartment just to have time alone. Sometimes if his squad mates came with him, then you would hang out with them at the bar once you were off the clock and enjoyed a few drinks with him and his brothers. They were a good group of men whose company you enjoyed. They treated you kindly and with respect, seeing how much you meant to Fives. You couldn't be happier.

Fives had been gone on a mission for a while and you found yourself missing him more than usual. It had been a rough few days; you had crashed your speederbike because the other driver wasn't watching, so you had to take a good chunk out of your savings to pay for repairs. Then you'd had to kick out some drunk guys because they were getting too handsy with you and you got called some pretty nasty names. If Fives had been there, he would've beat those guys to a pulp for ever daring to lay a hand on you or for speaking to you in such a way. He would've defended your honor, even if you felt you could handle things yourself. You just wished he was there to talk to, to hold you while you just had a good cry over all the frustrations you were feeling...but you knew that he had more important things to worry about as a soldier. He had a duty to the Republic that he needed to fulfill first before his duty to you. That's what you had to keep reminding yourself.

Finally, your shift ended and the bar cleared out of patrons. It was just you and the music playing over the speakers, so you started cleaning the tables. A few minutes later, you heard the doors swish open behind you.

"We're closed," you stated without looking, continuing to wipe the table in front of you.

There was no response for a second and then all of a sudden, a pair of arms wrapped around your waist as someone hugged you from behind.

You then felt the familiar scratch of a goatee on your skin as the person nuzzled into your neck and said in a low voice you knew well, "Looks like we've got the place all to ourselves, then."

With a gasp, you flipped around in his arms and looked into the handsome, loving eyes of your Fives.

"Fives!" you cried, jumping up and throwing your arms around his neck.

His embrace tightened around, rocking you back and forth. "Oh, I've missed you so much, babe," he said to you.

"I've missed you, too," you replied. "I'm so glad you're back. It's been an awful last few days and I've wished so badly that you were here."

Fives tilted your head up and gave you a sweet kiss on your forehead. "Well, I can't have you feeling down anymore now that I'm here," he said. "Come on, let's go home. We can cuddle on the couch, I'll make you a nice cup of tea and you can tell me everything that's happened."

You tilted your head curiously. "Home? You mean my apartment?"

He snickered. "Babe, my home is wherever you are." Then he cupped your cheek and brought you to him, kissing you in a way that made all your worries and frustrations just fade away.

"You really mean that?" you asked him with a smile.

"Of course, I do. I love you," he confessed to you, touching his forehead to yours.

You'd had a feeling for a while now that he loved you, but the occasion to finally say so just hadn't come up yet, especially with him being gone on missions so much. It made your heart soar to finally hear those words from him at last.

"I love you, too, Fives," you said back, feeling a massive weight lift from you. "Now...let's go home."

Photogirl894's Physical Affection prompts

Photogirl894's 1,300 Followers celebration fics

[ginsengkitten]

Nightfall: Chapter 6

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You had thrown on clothes and jump on slashes bike. He sped through the night streets, to a rural wooded area just outside of the city. The moonlight casted fully upon the two of you as he parked in a grove of trees. A beautiful moss covered meadow sat in the moonlight. You realize it's a cemetery. "What is this?" You questioned confused.

"That one there." He pointed to a smaller older headstone engraved with roses and moss. You read the name. "Samantha..?"

"Our beautiful daughter who loved to paint. We love you." You read the engraving.

"1934" slash answered. He pointed over to another one nearby.

"Hattie Reynolds. Our dearest angel.."

"1951" he added.

As you walk through the graveyard, you see gravestones near and far all the way up to 1972.

"What is all this? Why are you showing me this?" You ask confused.

"This is what happens when the churches find out you're an ally to vampires.." he answered solemnly, coldly.

Your heart sank. "They...they killed them? All of them?"

"Very few have survived, and it's only because they've told no one." He said, he looked to you with a desperate look in his eye. He approached you closely now. He towered over you, his smooth skin reflecting moonlight. He gripped your arm lightly. "You can't let anyone know what you've seen. Ever." He warned.

A new layer of fear swelled inside you. You lose yourself in thought as you stare off for a moment. What a lonely secret to keep.

"All these people, died so long ago..." you look to slash again. "...how old are you?" You ask. You can tell he didn't want to answer that. He sat on the ground next to a headstone. "Old enough..." he said lowly, sorrowfully. You sit next to him and read the headstone.

"Clarissa Rose...- there's no death date." You say confused.

"I never met her myself." Slash said. "But Axl, he refused to put a death date. Crazy bastard thinks she'll still come back one day.."

"Axl-......he's the clan master, isn't he? This is Clarissa, his wife..." You piece it together. Slash nodded.

"We've been alive...for far too long." Slash said quietly. He looked at the ground.

"Can I ask how..-" you start.

"It was duff. He uh-saved me." He hesitated to use the word save. "My mom and I moved out here in 44, for her new job as a seamstress. She uh- she was really really good. Talented. And uh, one night, our store was attacked by the northern clan. I was bitten by a northern vampire but he fled, and I started bleeding out. I had cried out to my mom- that I didn't want to die. That I wasn't ready.." he chuckled slightly to himself.

"And duff heard my cry and came. He was new at being a vampire. Thinking he had to answer that plea with an eternal solution, some sort of moral obligation I guess.

By the time he reached us, Cyrus had ripped my mom's head from her body. He was gone. So was she. But he changed me. Took me home, and healed me. Been with him ever since."

Your heart wrenched. The pain in his voice was numb. "Slash....Im so sorry..."

The silence lasted long, the two of you sat in silence until you felt to move the conversation.

"1944...so you're, old, very old..." You mumbled. "72." He answered. You looked at him shocked.

"Well...you look pretty good for 72. I always had a thing for older men." You admit a joke hoping to lift his spirit. He laughs slightly.

"And you laughed at my joke...so you don't hate me after all." You say. Slashes head lifts up and he looks at you. The moonlight glimmers in his eyes. "I don't hate you.." he says. He resumes that similar haunting stare. His eyes washing over you. "I'm sorry if I made you think that I- from the first moment I saw you. I sensed you. And your presence is-so strong. It's like I couldn't think. And it frustrated me . And then- and then you touched me, when I took you home. And when you touched me- I don't know it was like I had blood in my veins again. It was this warmth rushed inside me under my skin-it was the most human I've felt since I changed..." he trailed off. You completely softened to his candid vulnerability. Your cheeks flushed red. He snapped out of his trance and looked at the ground embarrassed. "Uh- sorry I- that was probably weird to hear." He apologized. You took his hand in yours, making him ignite to your touch. "No, it wasn't, it was wonderful." You soothed. His eyes met yours again.

Slash watched you in the moonlight.  As it dripped down your skin and hair. The way it illuminated your bright eyes. From the moment he laid eyes on you, he had been completely taken by you. Your energy, your beauty. It was impossible to look away. You were something so different than anything he'd felt in decades and it shook him to his core. He studied you. He wanted to figure out why he couldn't figure you out. It puzzled him. His eyes scanned down your lips and then back to your eyes. Your hand still touching his. He felt your warm touch, buzz into his skin and he leaned forward into you. You leaned to meet him. The two of you tiptoeing into a kiss. Both pulling away hesitantly for a second, and then slash grabbed your face in his large hands and pressed his lips against yours gently. You dissolve into his lips. Your lips brush lightly against his fangs. Your tongue reminding you of his vampiric form, but it didn't phase you, you wanted him and he craved you. Surpassing your previous notion of hatred, and now to this, passionate kiss under the silver glow of the full moon.

He pulled away for a moment to study you. The time which he had suffered alone all these years, the lonely sorrow melted away with something warm in its place. He had brief encounters with meaningless women. None had ignited this feeling in him. None had made him feel alive again, not until now. Until you. You were changing everything so quickly.

"I've never thought I'd feel alive again.." He whispered as he caressed your face.

You resume a kiss, which now drifted from gentle passion to a buzz of fierce intensity that you want to try to match but he begins overpowering you, which you initially take a liking to at first. Then his grip on you firms. You feel on your tongue, his fangs grow out further. His kiss becoming more ravenous and animalistic. He released low growls through increasing pants. You feel something sharp pierce your wrist from his grip and yelp in pain. Slash pulls away immediately and you see his face. His face was slightly transformed. His mouth not only had fangs, but all of the teeth came to a sharper point. His eyes are extremely dark and glossed over. You hold your wrist in pain, claws had grown out of his fingers, accidentally cutting you. You held your wrist and looked at him in fear and shock. Slash completely paused and drew himself back. He looked at your expression and glanced from his extended claws to your now bloodied wrist. The both of you panting. Everything escalating so fast. "Y/N- I'm so sorry." He said. His apology was earnest and real, but his appearance and sudden depraved mannerisms made you second guess him. "I- I don't know what took over me Y/N I'm-" he breathes frustrated with himself. You see his eyes continue to pace from your face to the dripping blood. Your blood, the red spillage, drifted sweetly in his face. He pauses for a moment, trying to gain control over himself. He knows the danger of the situation. He had never craved human blood so badly before. He practically licked his lips. Seconds felt like eternity. He struggles to wrangle his control. Vampires- do they all have claws like this? And teeth like that? His appearance was huskier and larger than it was before. Something about his body was formed differently than before. Like he grew more muscular, his hair, longer and more unkempt. You watch him pant for control as he shrinks back to his initial normal human size. "We have to go. Now." He stands up and rushes you back to the lair where Izzy could tend to your wound. Slash said nothing the whole way home.

-

Izzy carefully stitched up your small puncture wound. You winced. Slash couldn't let himself watch what he had done to you. He had fled the lair and disappeared.

"He'll be back." Izzy consoled you.

"It was so weird...it was like he was more than just a vampire. Like some sort of beast. Izzy calmly kept his eyes on the wound. "Well slash is what we call a morph." . "A morph?" You questioned. "The northern vampire that had first bit him, was part vampire, part werewolf. Up in the north, they bred with werewolves for stronger vampires, essentially. But this act is considered illegal in our world- morphs are especially dangerous and unpredictable.

But when duff halted the northern bite with his own strain, it cut off the full infection, but enough had entered his body to alter him into a morph. They are...especially difficult to deal with." He explained with a sigh.

"Couldn't stay away huh?" Duff teases you as he leans against the doorway. "More like slash couldn't.." you mumble. Duffs expression goes more serious. "Be careful around him, Y/N. He's not like the rest of us. He's stronger, more aggressive. He hasn't been changed for very long. He still doesn't have full control of his form. Morphs are bred for violence. While I changed him yes, the dna is still there inside of him."

"I remember the early days after he first changed. Changing into a morph is different. It's more painful. More intense. I spent a lot of time researching them so I could learn how to take care of him better, after all, I was the one that damned him to eternal suffering.

He was ravenous then. Extremely dangerous." He continued. "How did he get better?"

"Time- and patience...and regret. He accidentally killed someone. He lost control and tore a girl apart in the woods. He went missing for days until I found him hiding out in the mountains. It shocked him so badly. I don't think he's forgiven himself for that still. I don't think he ever will. "

Your throat was dry and you completely lost focus of the pain.

"Tracii and his crew got word that a westerner had killed a human and began pursuing slash. They believe he's one of the strongest morphs still alive so They tried to recruit him to the north. They are convinced still he's one of them and belongs up there with those savages. It was a mistake. "

"He's not one of them. I know it." You blurt confidently.

Izzy wrapped your wrist up. "But he's still dangerous." Izzy added.

[calmthefuckdownalright]

hiiii! cld you do a yan!wilbur with (gn) reader who constantly wants to go places nd hates being in the same place for too long? /nf

have a good day/night!! :]

Hiya! Yeah I'd love to thanks for requesting!!

Warnings: Yandere behavior, stalking, gore and blood mention

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Over the years you'd inherited the title of The Nomad. You didn't stay in one place for long and if you did it was out of necessity. You were a traveler. An explorer of the land. Someone who didn't stick around, free of commitment.

"Thanks again for gathering this stuff for the museum." Eret smiled faintly and you returned it.

"Yeah of course. Just tell me when it opens and I'll stop by." You finished off the exchange and took your payment of diamonds off to another adventure. It was refreshing. The constant moving around.

When the whole world actually began you did have roots. Roots in the forests outside of the Greater Dream SMP...and L'manberg. Key word: had. Past tense.

Your cabin didn't exist anymore. After the L'manberg war started it got destroyed in the aftermath. That was when you had first shone your face to the world. When you got recognized.

Needless to say you didn't stick around. L'manberg was unstable and the men running it unhinged according to rumors. You had seen one of the men before. A tall brunette named Wilbur dressed in a General's suit. He held his head high and stared down the tyrant that was Dream.

You didn't pick a side but if you had to have you might've chosen Wilbur's despite the ruthlessness of Dream. Everyone knew Dream would do anything for power so when the second war came around of Manberg v.s. Pogtopia you vacated. Schlatt was stupid and Wilbur had gone off the rails completely.

"Whoa there!" You ran into something stiff and you stumbled back gaining your balance again.

"Sorry about that!" You rushed out and looked up at the one you'd accidentally ran into.

"Not a problem. You're The Nomad correct?" Before you stood Wilbur Soot, or Revivbur as everyone called him now. You'd been off adventuring the decade and a half that whole debacle went down just occasionally visiting back for deals on priceless goods you'd found on your ways.

"Revivbur." You nodded and gestured to him with a small smile. "Uhm, pleasure to meet you." You outstretched your hand and Revivbur's face flushed a shade of pink before he took your hand and bowed to kiss it.

"Wilbur please, and the pleasure is all mine. Can't say we've properly met." Revivbur straightened his spine to his full height, gently removing his hand from yours leaving a cold path behind it. He towered over you and a mischievous smile cut his face.

"No I guess we haven't. I'm Y/N." You said and swallowed as the light flashed over the reddish hues of Wilbur's eyes.

"Right of course." Wilbur chuckled and lowered his head. "Say, I know you're a busy person but might you want to have dinner with me tonight?" Wilbur smiled and it felt like the whole world could fall at his word. The honey smooth sound of his voice penetrated the stone walls you'd built around your heart to keep from it settling down more roots.

"Tonight?" You stammered and watched as his face lit up as your face flushed. "Erm, well I-I guess that would be okay. I've got to get on the road soon but an evening back can't hurt." You broke a smile at Wilbur being met with a charm that made your knees weak.

"Perfect, I'll come find you around dusk. 'Kay?" Wilbur winked and you nodded in agreement. "Don't go too far."

~~

And with that you somehow had a date. Somehow a single man, a man who had been the source of your home's destruction, had broken down your walls and gotten you to come eat dinner with him.

"I think I met your son today Phil." Your brow furrowed and you looked out the window of Philza's home at the snowy lands surrounding. By foot it was a several day travel to Philza and Technoblade's home in the north, by horse just hardly two, but by rail it was maybe an hour. Long ago you'd made an underground rail system to take you to the places which you frequently visited.

There was one at the Greater Dream SMP of course, one into your personal mines, and one here.

"Did you? What'd you think of Wil?" Philza sounded happy and he examined the shield set on his arm with an oily rag.

"Charming." You said simply and Philza laughed.

"Sounds about right. I'd be careful though, he used that charm to fool a lot of people back in the day." Phil warned.

"Jesus man, no wonder people call you old. Who the Hell says 'back in the day?'" You teased and Phil threw the rag at you. Someone caught it before any impact hit.

"You think I'm charming?" Wilbur Soot smirked at you deviously and heat flooded your face despite the cold chill that was everywhere, inside or out in the snowy base.

"Wil, what're you doin here?" Philza asked, his smile faltering just a little but perking up as soon as you seem to have spotted it.

"I've come to pick Y/N up for our date." Wilbur said matter of factly and ran the rag over his fingers tauntly like a bind. His fingers wove around the fabric expertly and a knot as tied somehow without you seeming to notice the exact origin.

"Date? You didn't say he asked you out on your first meeting." Philza's eyes shone with concern but the smile hid the foreboding look.

"Well I would've had he not shown up so quickly. I didn't even realize it was getting around dusk, sorry you had to come all this way to find me." You apologized and Wilbur offered his arm, tossing the rag back to Philza.

"Don't worry about it darling, I'll always know where you are." Wilbur's smirk widened and his pupils dilated. The words sent chills down you back but not necessarily bad ones. Something about someone caring enough to know where you were felt...good.

~~

Dinner was fantastic and you left on a travel for a few weeks promising to come back in time for another date Wilbur had planned. This was how your relationship went, he always sent a letter with you containing a poem or simply a declaration of admiration for you to read whenever you felt lonely or missed him. Wilbur was very confident you did and he was correct.

One might've called his devotion so early on creepy or uncalled for but after doing your share of research you could empathize with him. Thirteen and A half years alone in his own specially crafted limbo Hell. You shuddered now atop your horse just think about it. You were on your way back from a four week excavation for Eret's museum again. Much longer than you'd been gone from Wilbur before.

Deep down you worried he might've moved on.

"Darling you're finally back!" Wilbur greeted you almost as soon as you entered the territory of the main sector of the Greater Dream SMP.

"I had to come back sometime." You smiled and dismounted the charcoal mare you rode. Wilbur embraced you with a long and loving kiss tight to your lips. Something was off. You pulled away and sniffed.

"Wil what's that smell?" You cocked an eyebrow at him and pulled his sweater to your nose, taking in a deep breath. "Cinnamon? Wilbur you smell like cinnamon and vanilla." You stepped back a little, your fears clawing at your throat.

"Ah yeah! Its not what you think I swear! I've been making some potions lately and believe me they reeked so I tried to recreate your scent though I think I applied too much before I came here." Wilbur smiled and clutched your wrist tightly before you could jerk away. Your heart calmed as the smooth syllables of his words ran over your heart. He caressed you gently on your cheek.

"I would never cheat on you darling, but I do get so so lonely. You can't blame me for wanting something of you." Wilbur hugged you and his words tickled your ear causing a blush to rise in your face. Wilbur was not your first partner. Over your adventures you had courted many but none of them had lasted over the course of your longer journeys. All of them left eventually.

"I don't Wil, I just..." You pulled away to look at his face. His beautiful beautiful face. "I just haven't ever had someone care so much to stick around this long."

"Well all those people are fools." Wilbur growled a little and your eyebrows perked. "C'mon, lets go back to mine. I've got a surprise for you!" Wilbur smiled and took the reigns of your horse to lead you away.

~~

"Darling, can I ask you why you travel so much?" Wilbur said on the way.

"It's mostly just because I can't stand being in place. Probably some underlying trauma I've repressed into being a crutch of social anxiety or something." You joked and let out a chuckle. Wilbur only allowed a faint smile.

"Have you ever thought of staying?" Wilbur looked over at you but kept walking on. "In one place I mean. Putting down roots perhaps?" He pressed. Your chest tightened as the memory of L'manberg's first founding. The chaos it had wrecked on your home in the woods. His chaos.

"I did once..have roots I mean." You cracked a half-hearted smile and let your face close off.

"What happened?" Wilbur dared asked and stopped, you following suit.

'You' You wanted to say. The pain of watching your home burn in the revolution became fresh and for a split second it felt like the world was clear again and you realized just who exactly you were dating right now.

"Nothing. It just....didn't work out for me in the end." You shook your head and pushed away a comforting hand. The air shifted to something dangerous and tense as Wilbur led you on.

"Do you have any preferences for dinner?" He asked and tied up your horse to a fence post. You shook your head.

"Something warm I guess." You smiled and went inside the makeshift house. Wilbur wasn't the best builder that's for sure. His house was cluttered and half put together as if in a rush. Chests were disorganized and there was a crafting bench every few steps. It smelled of old cigarettes and burnt vanilla candles.

You settled down onto his couch and reached for a book that sat on the table beside the furniture. You saw the first few lines and knew immediately you shouted reading it.

Journal Entry 2,145: Eret's Journey

Today was hot. And I mean hot. I'm not sure why they decide to go through a desert every time they go out but I almost had to leave my coat behind just to keep following them.

I saw them stop and let their horse get a drink from the oasis. It looked like some trading went on,nothing unusual, and then they smiled. Not the smile like they got a good deal but the smile I give them. The smile that I ONLY get to give them.

I wouldn't hurt my little star but I can't trust the rest of the world. They're perfect. They're everything wonderful and I've only known people to want to destroy that. It's a struggle to allow Eret near them after everything they've done to us, to me, but a complete stranger?! I don't know their name but they're certainly chatting up my little star.

Even from behind the building I could see the blush on the villager's face. They weren't horribly looking and most Desert civilizations didn't have the normal long nosed and warting faces the plains did. And that made it all worse. The fact that there was a chance they could steal Little Star from me.

You stopped and looked up from the page. It was a struggle to not run away crying. You flipped to the last known entry to see how long ago 2,145 was.

Journal Entry: 2,227

82 days...you'd been with Wilbur almost three months and as you did the math in your head using the times you'd been gone with the days you'd been back it was equivalent to 83. You looked towards the end of the journal entry 2,145 and went still.

The villager struggled that's for sure. Definitely did not like having their hands cut off. This way they can't touch Little Star. I left them out in the desert hoping a little they would bleed out or some bird or wild animal would get to them. Little Star is mine and they will be forever. No puny trades person is going to hurt them or take them away from me.

"Y/N? Whatcha got there?" Wilbur's voice cracked your senses open and you turned around quickly. You remembered the villager from that journey. They'd been so nice and friendly, even offering a place to stay for a while. Sure romantic interest was always a possibility but no moves had been made and you weren't interested in a relationship was the last thing you said to them. They'd been missing when you came back and a patch of sand had been dried with blood and scraps of cloth was outside of town where you came in. You had assumed a llama had been separated and cornered by some coyotes or the buzzards got them.

"N-Nothing. Listen I know its soon but I've gotta run. I forgot to pick up some frog lights for Eret. I'll be gone a while and-" You started to gather up yourself and head for the door. Wilbur's eyes darted to the couch and spotted the open journal. His eyesight, although not the best, could see by the intensity of the writing you had found one of his special entries.

"Little Star, why are you trying to get away from me? Am I not good enough for you?" Wilbur grabbed your arm and stopped you. By the way you struggled he could tell you were scared. Terrified. "I would never hurt you. I love you Little Star. Please, let me love you."

"Wilbur please let me go!" You protested and pulled again at your arm. His grip tightened and his other arm whirled up to hold your chin to face him.

"Y/N. Please. I've only ever done it for you! Everything is for you. I can't be without you Little Star." Wilbur's eyes flared with a red glint that reminded you of blood. The blood in the sand. The blood of how many others that had gone missing from your journeys.

"You're a stalking monster!" You tried to move but Wilbur was too strong. His sly smile turned to one of hurt. The scar that ran down his face and left some of his right side a greenish decaying color twisted with his face into a look of despair... and rage.

"I am the best you'll ever have my dear. I'm the only one that's going to stick around for a nomad because I'm the only one willing to follow you!" Wilbur growled and pulled you closer to him. Your faces stood inches apart and his breath mingled with yours. For a second the moment was tender and soft. Someplace you might have kissed him deeply had it not been so terrifying to get here.

"I don't want anything to do with you Wilbur Soot." You whimpered. His grip loosened for a heartbeat and you took your chance. With all the force you had you hit him. The taller man stumbled back stunned and you ran, mounting your horse and practically ripping the lead off before darting away to the horizon.

~~

Wilbur held his face where you hit it. A smile spreading on his lips as blood seeped from his cut along the flesh. He watched you ride away. He watched you from his own mount, a chestnut with a white blaze. He followed you. Fought you. Loved you all the way. Together you saw many places. Kingdoms and villages.

No matter where you went he was close. He was getting closer every second. He hardly slept and spent most his night watching you toss and turn in the frantic nightmares. He longed to comfort you. Kiss your temple and hold you. Tell you it was alright.

One day he'd get his wish. For one day you would become tired of running from him and you'd stop. You'd let him hold you. You'd let him kiss you and love you in every way he could. One day you would do the same to him. It was just a matter of time.

He'd follow you to the ends of the Earth and you would follow him into the dark.

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[90363462]

How To Get More Of What You Need In The Bedroom

How To Get More Of What You Need In The Bedroom

Hey, we've all got needs...right?

Shellie R. Warren

Oct. 08, 2021 06:12PM EST

Sexual needs. Lawd, they are so real, y'all. This is something that I try and get through to the head of some of the clients that I work with — that when it comes to sexual activity, there are some things that each and every one of us deem to be necessary, an urgent want or something that's essential when it comes to experiencing true pleasure. And when those needs aren't met? Boy, that can lead to all kinds of sex-related issues including a disconnect between partners, less sexual frequency or even resentment over time.

Hopefully, you're getting all of your current sexual needsmet. But if you happen to be someone who is out here feeling some type of way because you and your partner are not getting more of what you and/or they desire, I've got seven things that many people have told me they wish they received more of in the sex department, along with some insight on how to get these particular kinds of needs met.

Romance

Whenever I'm talking to married couples about what they wish they received more of, as far as bedroom action is concerned, it never fails that wives will usually say "romance" while husbands typically say "spontaneity". As far as what's behind Door #2 goes, I'll get more into that in a sec. For now, I'll touch on romance. Personally, I think it's so important when it comes to sexual activity that I wrote "What Does It Truly Mean When Someone's 'Romantic'?" and "Tonight's The Night For A Really Romantic Sexual Experience" for the site. One of the main things to keep in mind about romance is the fact that it needs to happen way before even stepping one foot into your boudoir. You know, I've been working with couples for many years now and I find it to be no surprise that a lot of people whose sex lives are ho-hum and subpar are also people who don't spend a lot of quality time together — going on dates (including sex dates), taking weekend road trips, going for walks after dinner, cooking together, dancing to their favorite R&B jams in the living room…you catch my drift.

If you wish you could get more scented soy candles on your nightstand and rose petals on your bed, start with getting together with your partner to plan some dates together, even if you've got to get super creative and have them at home (check out "10 Romantic Dates You Can Go On (In Your Own Home)"). The more thoughtful and attentive the two of you are outside of your bedroom, the easier it will be to act that way inside of it.

Spontaneity

I'm working with three couples right now where the husbands are pretty close to being pissed and shutting all the way down. Why? Well, when they were dating their wife, sex was random, fun and it happened all of the time. This was pretty much the case during the first year of their marriage as well. Yet as time has gone by, morning sex a few times a week has now become sex twice a month — and that's if they are lucky. Oh, but not right now. Now it's like their wives wanna screw like rabbits. Why? Because they are trying to conceive a child. Getting pregnant, each husband is fine with. What's got them triggered to high hell is the fact that if these women can muster up all of this sexual adrenaline to get pregnant, why can't they do that just to enjoy being with their partner?

These men have a point. Besides, sex shouldn't be treated as a "means to an end". When you're married, it first needs to be honored as a priority and staple in your relationship (because if there is one thing that should separate everyone else from you and your spouse, it's that you have sex with your husband), along with being a very intimate way to get closer to your partner — to bond with them on spiritual, emotional and physical level. And while there are times when life may require that you schedule it in order to make it happen, there still needs some spontaneity up in that mug too. Again, I didn't say it — most of the men I know, married and single, say it, on loop, all of the time.

And why is spontaneity such a big deal? It's impulsive. It's passionate. By definition, it doesn't require a ton of effort or premeditation. Some synonyms for the word include simple (dig that!), automatic, free-spirited, unavoidable, uncontrived, off-the-cuff, and inevitable (dig that one too!).

Being spontaneous is meeting your partner at the door, butt-ass naked. Being spontaneous is joining your partner in the shower while they are in it. Being spontaneous is sending random texts about all of the things on your sex bucket list that you want to check off over the next couple of weeks. Being spontaneous is walking into his office and engaging in some oral action, regardless of what he's doing. Being spontaneous is letting him know, out of the blue, that you want to make the kind of movie that only the two of you can watch together.

It's kind of crazy that if spontaneity is the main thing that you and/or yours are missing, it's important to talk about it first. However, if you remember the synonyms "simple" and "inevitable" while you're having the discussion of how to bring more into the sexual part of your relationship, it really can remind you both to come up with ways to make each other feel desirable…just because…with absolutely no agenda other than cultivating pure pleasure on a dime.

Seduction

Ah. The art of seduction. If anyone is bored when it comes to their sex life (check out "7 Signs You're In A 'Sex Rut' & How To Get Out Of It"), I'd venture to say that a lack of seducing and/or being seduced is playing a major role in it all. Shoot, I'll take it even further and say that some people aren't getting what they need in this area because it's been so long since it's happened that they have lost sight of what seduction even entails.

Flirting is an act of seduction. Dressing seductively on dates is an act of seduction. Wearing lingerie is an act of seduction. Extending foreplay (including mental foreplay; check out "Mental Foreplay Hacks That Ultimately Takes Intercourse To New Levels") is an act of seduction. Taking off each other's clothes, ever-so-slowly, before sex is an act of seduction. Bringing in sex condiments (check out "12 'Sex Condiments' That Can Make Coitus Even More...Delicious") is an act of seduction. Doing anything with the intent of enticing your partner to lust you? That is what it means to seduce him.

Unlike spontaneity, seduction is something that is extremely premeditated. You've got to think about what kind of scent he adores on you and where he likes you to put it most (check out "8 Natural Aphrodisiac Scents, Where They Go & How To Make Them Last"). You've got to ponder whether you should go out with him with a lace thong or with no panties at all. You've got to really reflect on what kind of atmosphere to create that will make him want to climb the walls. That's the cool thing about seduction, though — the more thought you put into being the ultimate seductress, the more excited you will probably get about the day or night that lies ahead.

Affirmation

I am a words of affirmation kind of gal. I'm pretty sure that's a big part of the reason why I'm also such a fan of dirty talk — and indeed, like other sexual activities, it is a skill; it's not something that comes automatically or easily for everyone. OK, but I'm getting a little bit ahead of myself here. Let's first touch on why affirming your partner is such an important thing to do. While actions are definitely important, words are too. When you affirm someone, you're letting them know that you see them, that you value them and that you appreciate having them in your life. Affirming someone can help to boost their self-esteem, to make them feel closer to and safer around you and it can remind them of why you chose to be with them in the first place.

While it's not discussed, nearly enough, dirty talk can definitely be a form of verbally affirming your partner because when you're telling them what you're physically attracted to, what you enjoy about the act itself and what they can do to get you to get there — it's like participating in a sex-themed pep rally of sorts. Besides, the best kind of sex incorporates all five senses (sight, smell, touch, taste and hearing) and when you are telling your partner what you adore about them and what pleases you most about sex, in your absolutely sexiest voice, how can that not inspire them to give you more of what you need and want? Exactly.

Oral Action

There are a few people in my world who have pretty high sex drives and yet, at the same time, they aren't big on kissing (check out "Umm, What's Up With These People Who Hate Kissing?") and/or giving (or sometimes even receiving) oral sex ("Sooo...What If You HATE Oral?"). While I personally can't relate to either stance (chile), if you happen to be someone who falls into either category, something that can help in the oral sex department is flavored lubrication. Hey, I'm not playing. These days, there are all sorts of brands that taste so good that it can make going down or being gone down on a lot more pleasant if you or yours happen to be someone who is hesitant because it's just not something that you can wrap your head around (no pun). 

Also, if you happen to be someone who is self-conscious about if you're doing it well or not, well, I'll put it to you this way — you're probably gonna lick an ice cream cone way better than an empty spoon. In other words, sweet skin is gonna make you way more enthusiastic and passionate than plain skin will. Feel me? Anyway, as far as letting-lube-lead-the-way goes, check out "The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant". It's a little hack that really can make a huge difference. HUGE.

Pampering

Is it just me or does it seem like pampering and sex don't go hand in hand as much as they should? When I think of "treating with extreme care" in the context of coitus, to be honest with you, what comes to my mind is more afterplay (check out "Sure, Your Foreplay Game Is On Point. Now What About The 'Afterplay'?") than anything else because, if we're gonna be real, it's a lot easier to want to act "excessively indulgent" towards your partner when you're trying to get some. Oh, but it's next level to do it after you've already "been to the mountaintop" and nothing sounds more appealing than a nap.

So, how can you and your partner sexually pamper one another after sex? A massage. Soaking in the tub together. Giving each other a handwritten note or card that you had prepared beforehand. Feeding each other aphrodisiacs like strawberries, chocolate, and watermelon. Surprising each other with "favorite thing" tokens.

Basically, by making sure that the "end" is just as sweet, special, and satisfying as the beginning, that can make each sexual experience that much more endearing and memorable. It can also make both of you really excited about being with one another again…very, very soon.

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Pillow Talk

I've shared before that if you've got a man who happens to fall asleep right after sex, you really shouldn't get mad at him; that's how he was created. There is a biochemical called prolactin that's released when men ejaculate that typically results in them feeling drained and tired. Not much can be done about that. However, what I will say is a lot of the guys who I've discussed this with have told me that falling asleep is a lot easier to do when their partner decides that she now wants to talk about where the relationship is headed, what bill needs to be paid or what chore needs to be done around the house.

In other words, guys are already tapped out after sex and so, a boring or emotionally draining conversation definitely doesn't inspire them to want to keep their eyes open. So, if more pillow talk is what you're after, try and keep the topics light, crack jokes or ask if he's down to watch something fun on the tube. While there is a time and place for "deep" pillow talk, right after sex usually isn't one of them. However, if you relax and try and stay in the flow of the moment, many men are down to spoon and chat for a while. Hell, 5-7 minutes, at least. #wink

For more love and relationships, features, dating tips and tricks, and marriage advice, check out xoNecole's Sex & Love section here.

Featured image by Giphy

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[letter-to-a-friend]

backlog cont.

10/15 I woke up Incredibly depressed today, but I can't tell you that, I said I would stop making it your problem. We've talked so little these last few days I'm afraid I'll lose my person. I know I'm just being needy, I'm sorry. It's okay if you want to leave me behind to be happy, I'm probably just baggage to you right now. I didn't mention it before but I haven't been eating the laste few days. I'm down to 187lbs. I've had nothing to eat but eggs and and a can of soup each day, if that. I want to eat, but just can't. I think I need help, but I can never tell you.

You told me not long ago that you were sabotaging dates because you were leaving a window open for [ex], how else am I supposed to look back on our time together as anything but that? You sabotaged our relationship, and got back together with [ex] because that's what you wanted in the first place, you never really tried to love me because you were always in love with [ex]

10/16 I forgot to write you yesterday, but not really. I had written out what I wanted to say for our talk but I didn't end up using it. I'll paste it after this but first- you fucking cheated on me man? Are you serious? You left me for another guy weeks Into it, that's not enough time to know Jack shit, much less that you can never come to love someone. The feeling I thought was love is all gone now, but that still hurts man. That's fucked up, and now I don't think I can ever fully trust you again. I don't love you, but once upon a time I did and you stomped on that love for a man who broke your heart again, and honestly? You deserved it for that. And the me of right now hopes he breaks your heart this time too because of it.

The letter: Honestly I'm a little upset with you right now. I took a look back at the timeline of events and it Honestly makes me feel really used. We broke up on 6/6, and started talking again on 6/20, and from then until you broke up with connor on 8/4 you never told me you were in a relationship which leads me to believe you got back together within that 14 day period of us not talking. You said recently that you felt you were sabotaging tinder dates bc you were still holding out for [ex], and I feel like you did that with me too. It really feels like, back then, you were always waiting for [ex], and you were just wanting someone to vent your sexual frustration from being with him. It only took you from 8/4(when you broke up, and also when we began talking like before) to 8/8 to tell me that you were still sexually attracted to me to the point you couldn't look me in the eyes and until 8/31 for you to tell me you were wanting sex from me. And just a little while ago, we hooked up on 9/30, and you got back together with connor on 10/9. With you so quickly going from being intimate with me, breaking up, getting with [ex], back to sex with me, to being back together, it makes me feel a little used. I know I consented to just fwb and that I was the ultimate initiator, and I know we've done things outside of sex, but almost every time we met up and you weren't on your period, we hooked up. As you've said, you're a very horny person, and that's fine I am too, but part of the reason I want this thing with you and [ex] to either last forever or never happen again is because 3 is a pattern man; if you guys break up, and we end up going back to fwb, and you get back together with him, I'll feel even more like just an outlet for your sexual frustration, who just so happens to play games with you sometimes. I consented to fwb until we found partners, but looking back i feel more like I was just filling the void [ex] left and thats very different. And im not saying fwb is bad, or that i was wanting something more, it was just sex- its the speed at which you changed gears that makes me feel this way. You said you could live without sex for him[context: hes sexually attracted to men, but want a relationship with her to the point hes asked to be poly], but I'm not so sure with how quickly you asked for it after you left the relationship. I know how much you've said you cherish our friendship, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm only here because you don't want to be alone. This is made even worse that you got upset at me when i said i was a little concerned that you would drop me when you got another bf, but when you got back with [ex] you told me that you had done that in the past once already. Sure, there was other things going on with [ex bff], but you got upset at me over a fear you later told me was kinda warrented. I'm not saying that this IS the case, just that this is how the everything is making me feel. I feel like I'm only "precious" because I've given you what you want in emotional support and sex when [ex] wasn't there for you. I feel like you only really want one person in your life, and when they aren't there you settle for me until they come back. How could I not when you move so fast?...1/2

[captainkurosolaire]

Prompt #11 ~ Reclaimed Living

♫Overpowered♫

Another cleansing of the soul came with reinvigorated steps loudly revisiting a place of his bearings. His latest and most formidable enemy awakened him from a ghostly remnant he served. He wasn't the same. The last Crew finding them behind his follow weren't the same that collapsed, or buried with his old ship. The rover returned to a rancid pub front-steps. In a dead and remote location, where used to be celebration, came to cease. Now it was just nesting drunken sailors who held no direction. Majority of the Crew that served a Captain were family members, other associates, all drowned and dead brought by his endeavors, curses, afflictions. It was never easy to confront a past, but proper healing cannot begin without it, that's where his wisdom had found of recent date. It was the most despicable and deplorable thing a feeling could present in a leader. The people under your helm perished but the Captain didn't go with his ship and men. Although all held belief he remained deceased, this would be soon uncovered in a twist. He unstrapped his holstered revolver. Swallowed nerves. Then proceeded. Inside were grievers those at the bottom of bottles, they felt too. Sapped of motivation. Chained, jailed, life had no meaning. The peers that died, killed them too. Outsiders didn't come to this enclosed location. So as creaking old planks of wood were heard they drew alert. Until a stoppage. A shadow between the doors. Even in their rancid and intoxicated states they drew arms. The two loose doors flung open as the perished ghost became alive. In a series of insurmountable clicks and aim's hundreds of trained gun's re-positioned. Dirks, brass knuckles, a plethora of last resistance shown. If they were to be raided, they'd go with bangs.

"Minfilia's oversized tits, blimey o' bastard... I don't believe it. Ye chose a poor choice t' ruse us n' appearance." They didn't follow a leader. Each of their voices left were who seized first in their mass. The interloper had them cautiously on standby. "Nay. It b' me." The Seeker discarded his only means of defense and slid a kick over. They had the right to take their shots. Tension was stacked in disbelieving soaring heights. Each still felt a beguile footman who stood at their gate. "Ye inconceivable fool. T'is a reason why, Dead men tell no tales..." Cocking mechanisms of flintlocks surged. Another chimed in when Captain went to peace. "Best ye tell a helluva' tale. Of what ye live..." This served a code, a message in a bottle, but parchment became waterlogged, useless. If there was ever a moment etched within his time, to become unspoken, now was it. He would be a preaching to a choir. Chewing and clacking his gums, he'd lower the tricorne to his heart. A ferocity lit in his hues, rebellious. "From conception we're met with opposition. There ain't a single-choice upon what we calls origins being dealt, whether by some invisible puppeteer, deemed an author, or some putrid sack ov' excuse-spinner." Revving up, "Educated, groomed, taught t' be the same way, that results t' a history never ending but repeats, wondering why we live under th' same shadows ov' all our dated descendants who fell. Constantly wishing or reflecting back, things were simpler, better, desiring do-overs. No-one looks forward t' a clock, only backwards when bloomed." The fulfillment of dreaming in youth, gets devoured, in due age, later when matured. What could've been, spawns. He took brash steps even while being trained on with blunderbusses. "Thrust into environments where eating metal, doing whatever it takes to survive! --- They call us problems." Speaking out to the rebellious that still swelled, "Sentence t' unexplained diseases, festering rot n' us. We start giving into instability, alongside insecurities, it racks us into a trail of bottomless failures, believing we've nothing of importance... Told by our closest endearing whispers, who mutter the same air of our doubting thoughts... It encourages demons, t' vices, to a point, a visit only ov' ferryman can accept us." He registered and conveyed a lot of personal emotion. "Bein' pirate everyone thinks our take ov' freedom means pure unadulterated chaos, anarchy, destruction. To be feared... Truth it means we're standing against what governs us all, growing bone's where they've gone missing." Showing teeth and taking a stand on top of a tavern table between, the disheartened. "Authority, Order! These things are presented as principal things that are required to function, n' keep peace... But it's artificially made-up. Think to yourselves! How many label's have been created to categorize yourself? To try separating you from being an individual, just so someone can stand-out against on a perch! you don't even know how t' stand anymore! ...Thinking by being on your two-legs that's all? You b' so far drowned, you cannot impose those who wear their crowns, cause you accept it as all-purpose... O' if a mass-herd flocks, it's natural to' fall in that line and try to be included at all costs, thinking it'll grant you an audience, notice, give you validation." His speech began boiling up, resonating something in a few, they became domesticated too. "Words, like 'martyr', 'rebel', thrown around. Placed to maintain control, they subjugate, they'll bend rules, whatever it takes! They'll use their fancy speeches t' rile you into a false-sense to stay kneeled over, stating it's a 'we' or 'us', ignoring really they're out their own business." He presented as their so called pirate king was faceless, removed, abandoned all the free-spirited left. That continued with the powers in place. "Same almighty forces that are throwing us into forgotten. Trying to remove us, are the some who were us, once..." The red-coats weren't someone to be all idolized. Innocent's rain rampant on

those, it was not-self sacrificial, they were govern. "Free. Isn't exclusive. It's within us all, a lifestyle, something that any are capable of taking with zero discrimination, no hierarchy, or diversities preventing you at some barrier for entry! Reach down! Battle against your illnesses, wounds, oppressors! Wobble on your soles and fight to stand against what you disagree with, crawl even, gnarl at that hilt! Die fer passion, what makes you feel who, who gives you it! That's what actual breathing looks like! This IS yer rightful treasure, yer CLAIM. Get it back into your hands and you'll know this is a world you own!" Climatically blew through in his renegade passion. The very air he exhaled into these words weren't laced, they came from personal, raw emotion! Casting away not only to his own liberation but his former folks. "This is living's meaning!" Reaching down grabbing a bottle and smashing it against his arm into a tearing cut, bloodied arms formed outwardly, like wings he threw his arms. Drops of resolve and armed weapons fell in unity. 'The Captain ov' the Five Seas' approached them, and said, I am alive, but so are all those who died, they're in me! I haven't lost this War, It's only getting started. Waves, winds, change, so I've adapted. Here, I am.'

The lawless bellowed out an uproar outcry and jolly, shooting their guns into the ceilings. Smashing and slugging each other with haymakers, drinking and thrusting into debauchery, they were free, once again! Label's no more! Defined, never again! Each saw their passion, the moment was seen! What went obscured. Captain leapt into the brawl, of celebration, he was home, alive! The storms were still remaining but he found many places to call shelter when they came.

[hellomynameisbisexual]

When I first met my husband, Neal, I thought he was gay. Maybe that's because he told me he was gay. So while I was attracted to him, I figured he would just be my gay best friend. Then, one night, we wound up in bed together, and let's just say that he did not act like a gay best friend usually acts. In fact, he seemed more comfortable with my body than plenty of straight men I'd dated had been. And after a hot-and-heavy weekend, I knew a lot more about Neal than "gay" had hinted at: He'd been married before (to a woman), and he was (still is) attracted to both sexes. Since his divorce he'd mostly dated men, so he'd gone with "gay" over "bi" when we met, but deep down that's what he is: bisexual. I was not entirely surprised, and I was definitely not disappointed.

However, I did have some concerns. Early in our relationship, which got super serious, super fast, I was anxious: I worried Neal would change his mind, say that he was actually truly 100 percent gay after all, and leave me for a man. (Maybe you've heard the joke? A man who says he's bisexual is gay, straight, or lying.) Another part of me worried whether a bisexual guy could ever really be monogamous. Also, didn't being with a man who was interested in men and women mean that I was competing against everyone in the world for his attention?

I just wasn't that familiar with bi guys. Bi women are practically mainstream: Megan Fox, Lady Gaga, Anna Paquin, Jessie J, and Evan Rachel Wood, to name only a few, have all spoken openly about being bisexual. When a woman says she's bi, it makes her more desirable to men. But few celeb men are out as bi—and you never see two guys making out in a bar to get women to pay attention.

Plus, I must admit I wondered whether all the stuff people say about bisexuals might actually turn out to be true—that they're untrustworthy, just going through a phase, or slutty; that they'll break your heart or give you STDs and probably cooties too.

Dating a bi guy, even one as great and as honest as Neal, was daunting to think about.

The sliding scale of sexuality explained

Understanding the basic science of bisexuality helped me a lot. Ritch Savin-Williams, professor of developmental psychology at Cornell University, who has done extensive research into arousal patterns of gay and bisexual individuals, puts it simply: "Bisexual men are attracted to both sexes. They have variations in how much they lean toward women or men." It's important to note that Savin-Williams, like most social scientists, differentiates between sexual orientation and sexual behavior. "So a guy could be attracted to 70 percent men and 30 percent women," he says, "but still meet a woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with and be monogamous. His orientation is bi, but his sexual behavior is straight." Conversely, if someone is having sex with both women and men, then he is behaviorally bisexual, regardless of what he says his orientation is.

What many women struggle with is not the fear that a guy is bi but the fear that he's temporarily bi and will eventually identify as gay. It's not a weird thing to worry about (I worried about it!), since many men have done exactly that. "Before homosexuality was as accepted as it is now," says Allen Rosenthal, a researcher at Northwestern University, "homosexual men often identified as bi in the process of coming out, like getting their feet wet. But it was a disservice to genuinely bisexual men because it left a lot of people with the impression that bi is a transitional orientation." The good news is that the reasons the bi-to-gay move used to be so prevalent—societal and family pressures, fears of being openly gay—are lessening. These days, it's more OK to be gay, and that's making it more OK to be bi. Progress!

So Could You, Should You? We asked glamour.com readers if they'd date a bi guy. The results:

__I'd have a lot of questions,

but maybe.……………………………16%

No way.………………………………..36%

Totally, why not?…………………….48%

In other words, two out of three of you would consider it. Explained one commenter: "If he's into me, he's into me. If he happens to be into guys too, well…we only have more in common!"__

Our little nonsecret

Neal assuaged my anxieties by being so enthusiastic about me that I had no reason to doubt his attraction. I was impressed by his self-awareness too. He realized he was bisexual when he was 20, and he still considers himself attracted to both sexes, at a ratio of about 80:20, women to men. My friends said he was an improvement over more macho guys I'd brought home in the past, and no one really made a big deal about the bi thing. They'd already seen him with men and with women, and we run with a pretty arty crowd. Bottom line: I was in love. As the years passed, I saw that Neal had more integrity and self-knowledge than anyone I'd ever known. And so, reader, I married him. We've been together and monogamous for 12 years, married for eight.

Neal is comfortable with his sexuality. He's "straightish," in the terminology of a gay friend of ours. But he is kind of "gayish" too. He is a performance artist, eccentric, and has—true to stereotype—better style than I do. And if I'm like, "Wow, Mike is superhot," he doesn't stare blankly but says, "Totally. Because of the way he plays guitar, right?"

Generally, we don't tell the world about Neal's orientation (well, until now!). Not everyone is as supportive as our circle, and to be honest, I have zero interest in talking with someone who thinks I'm in a sham marriage just because my guy doesn't go, "Ewww!" when Channing Tatum takes off his shirt.

There have been a few bumps along the road. Early on, Neal confessed that he had a crush on someone else. In the moment before he told me who it was, as my heart sank, I thought: Oh God, it's a man. He's gay. He's going to leave me for a man. I am a fool. How did I not see it coming? How stupid could I be?

Then he told me who it was: a woman. And we worked through it. In retrospect, I think we would have been OK even if it had been a man. In the years since, we've weathered crushes I've developed too, and a million other surprising and not-so-surprising things. I don't think we're any more open-minded than most couples—but the amount of honesty required at the beginning of our relationship has served us well.

Talk, then talk some more

So how do you make it work with a bi guy? "If I were a woman involved with a bisexual man," says Savin-Williams, "I would have very honest communication with him about what he means when he uses the term." Trust me, I asked Neal a lot of questions about what he was into and what to expect as our relationship deepened. Would he commit to monogamy? What kind of boundaries did we need to set up? Be clear about what you're asking, warns Lisa Diamond, professor of developmental psychology at the University of Utah. "The question Are you attracted to men?' is different from Would you want to have a sexual relationship with a man?'" she points out. "Many men might say, It's a hot fantasy, but not one I would act on.'" At that point the question becomes whether or not you're OK with the fantasy. On the other hand, if he says he wants more than a fantasy when it comes to men…then he might not be the guy for you.

No matter whom you're dating, part of love is taking that leap into the unknown. "The only way to be truly sure," says Barbara Hernandez, a family and marriage therapist, "is over time. It depends on the values of the person, and the strength of commitment, and whether both partners work hard at it." Good advice for any couple, even a straight-as-an-arrow one.

At some point, if you're still freaking out about whether your bi guy is really bi, you might need to acknowledge that what you're worried about is whether he's really yours. "We all need to be honest with ourselves," says Diamond. "I wonder if the underlying concern isn't the same one we always have: Does he really want me? Is he going to leave me? That's a concern as old as the hills." With Neal, I came to look at it this way: If he was choosing to be with me, then he was choosing me over all men and women everywhere. And that felt kind of awesome.

Believe it or not, Neal's sexuality doesn't come up that often in our daily lives. My failure to close drawers, his inability to throw anything away, and an ongoing disagreement on who is the more lenient parent are all topics that cause more strife than his sometimes thinking men are hot. Really, who can blame him? Men are hot, especially ones who are honest and confident. Especially ones who, even though they may be attracted to lots of people, pick you.

[wrightiverse]

Hello and this is me annotating/doing director's commentary for the last chapter of Crowd as a victory lap. There's no indulgence like self-indulgence.

“I’ll just make my hot young boyfriend help me,” Robin teases. “When I’m eighty, you’ll only be sixty-nine.”

I love to take a thing from the beginning of a story/scene and revisit it at the end. In this case, 'hot young boyfriend' is a light callback to 'sexy-ass, significantly younger boyfriend' back at the beginning when Robin was sad about the empty nest situation. This is, I think, the first time we specify their exact age gap. It is also the exact age gap I have with my own partner, because I’m very lazy like that. (None of this was written with any reference to what's gone on in the podcast over the last year or so, which is good because it sounds like the whole aging thing for Glenn could have gotten really confusing. Wrightiverse Glenn came back right after Ravenloft, none of that other stuff happened to him. It's all good. Canon is optional.) * * * * *

It’s not like the men in his family have much luck in that area, anyway; Glenn never met either of his grandfathers, and Bill didn’t make it much past fifty.

I think Meryl actually lived for hundreds of years and is still alive in Faerun and they should totally meet, but Glenn doesn’t know all that. * * * * *

Aesthetics aside, it didn't seem like there was much for Glenn to look forward to in middle age and beyond. Nick would grow up and wouldn’t need his dad anymore, and Glenn would be all alone.

From Glenn’s second chapter in Crowd, when Robin is sad about Connor leaving for college:

“I want him to be independent,” Robin is trying to explain into Glenn’s knee, “but also I don’t want to be all alone.” Glenn flicks his ear reproachfully. “You're not all alone. I’m right here, dumbass.”

Sometimes what seems obvious when we're explaining it to somebody else doesn't feel as obvious when it's our turn. Admittedly, Glenn is coming to this with a different set of experiences than Robin is. More on that later. * * * * *

His career would go to shit, because getting old only works for rock stars if they’re actually bluesmen in disguise, like Keith Richards.

I think I got this theory from something Chuck Klosterman wrote, probably Fargo Rock City. * * * * *

He starts his grounding exercise without even thinking about it. Five things he can see: one, an information sign for the city park. Two, a freshly-painted bike rack. Three, some big public art sculpture that looks like a giant rusty hairbrush…

This particular grounding exercise came up earlier in Crowd. I didn't make it up for the story, it's real and many people find that it works well. Feel free to try it! The exercise he alludes to when they’re on the beach, creating ‘safe spaces’ out of vivid memories with lots of sensory details, is also based on a real thing. Lauren, his therapist, is named after the therapist who worked with me on my own PTSD and taught me that and a lot of other good stuff. At least based on my own experience, I can highly recommend EMDR if you can find a good practitioner. * * * * *

It was a hella sweet gesture from the kid.

Connor’s introduction in Name has to do with him carrying shirts past Glenn, and one of those shirts becomes important later to Robin. Given how big the GC3 actually seems to be, I don’t think Connor did the majority of their merch. I assume they used a regular printer and Connor just did small runs of fun custom stuff when he feels like it, meaning not much changed after Glenn quit. * * * * *

Of course, Robin is the only member of the family wearing the shirt right now, because Robin is the only one who doesn’t care that it isn’t cool to wear merch from the gig at the gig itself.

I have no idea how widespread the ‘no wearing merch from the gig at the gig’ thing is, but that’s the rule I learned. * * * * *

Robin is chatting away about something, but it’s hard to follow with all the noise and distraction around them. Glenn decides to let it ride, and allows himself to zone out and just watch Robin talk.

As requested by my brilliant co-author, this is a callback to when Robin spaces out watching Glenn talk on their first date. Both Robin and Glenn are consistently very prone to tuning out when the other one is talking, but neither of them particularly care. As Glenn says on their dinner date - sometimes a man just wants to think out loud for a while and get a ‘hell yeah’ in response. * * * * *

It's vastly unfair that Robin looks so good in direct sunlight, but he probably pulls it off because he's the one person in Los Angeles who isn't trying to look younger than he actually is.

Glenn should spend less time in WeHo. * * * * *

There’s already more gray in Robin’s hair than when they met, although Glenn will only accept partial blame for that. Either way, the old man’s on track to be a full-on silver fox before he even hits fifty.

It felt necessary to drop a reminder that despite how Glenn talks about him, Robin is not actually that damn old. I mean, I'm sure that sounds very old to some of you, but when you're in your mid-to-late 30s like Glenn, somebody in their late 40s is not unreasonably decrepit. I think it has more to do with their respective energies than actual birthdays. * * * * *

“What is it?” Robin has noticed Glenn’s gaze, and he touches his own face to check if there's something on it.

Glenn grins. "Nothing, just ogling."

This is another callback to their first date:

“Do I have something on my face?” Glenn asks, and rubs at his mouth.

“No, you’re good.” Robin says. “You’re great.”

Because I adore a full-circle moment, that's why. * * * * *

“Your eyes were intense," Robin laughs. "It looked like you were going to start growling redrum at me."

This is my own fault for saying in the last chapter that Glenn was rambling about Kubrick moon landing conspiracies when he comes back from his walk. I tried like seven different ways to get them on the subject. I still don’t know if it feels natural. * * * * *

Glenn stabs an accusatory finger toward Robin. “Did you suggest not doing the show because you knew I’d argue with you and talk myself into doing it?”

Can’t outro this story without at least a little argayment.

Glenn usually finds him in the bathroom at the end of the night, looking grumpy about being up past his bedtime and holding some girl’s hair back while she barfs.

With what we've learned about Robin over the course of Crowd, we now have the context to understand that for Robin, this drunk girl is very much the ghost of Christmas Past. I don't imagine he goes to many of these parties.

* * * * *

It doesn’t bother Glenn a bit. Life isn’t a movie, the cheerleader doesn’t have to put on leather pants and start smoking in order to get her bad boy and her happily ever after.

I know that there’s more going on in Grease than that, but consider: would Glenn know that?

* * * * *

He and Robin are very different people, and they always will be. They don’t make sense on the surface, but they both know who they are, and who they are fits together perfectly.

Circling back to Robin at the end of Name, expressing his anxieties:

Robin rests his forehead on the steering wheel, avoiding Glenn’s eyes. “Like I don’t make sense for you, and everybody can see it.”

Some of the circles that I closed in Crowd were ones that were opened in Crowd, but some went back further. * * * * *

Love bubbles up in Glenn like a shaken-up soda, and he finds himself standing up suddenly and grabbing Robin’s shirt collar to tug him down for a kiss.

I wanted to mirror the ‘Hot Dad surges forward to kiss him, hard’ thing from the beginning, but given the established height difference, Glenn can’t just go for it unannounced unless he’s gonna stand tippy-toe. Thank you @whotaughtyougrammar for this art of what happens when Glenn tries the collar-tug and Robin doesn't notice fast enough.

* * * * *

Robin is caught off guard and stumbles half a step back, managing at the last second not to drop his drink. “One second, sweetheart, just one second. You surprised me. What was that about?”

Glenn gives him a lopsided grin. “Luck?”

“Oh, well, then. For luck.”

Luck and how to change it is a big theme throughout the whole series, both in the sense of ‘good fortune/unearned blessings’ and ‘random, unforeseen chance.’ More later about that. * * * * *

When Glenn presses his tongue forward to slip between Robin’s lips, he tastes lemon and sugar.

Same as the first time they kissed, when he’d been drinking whiskey sours.

* * * * *

“Right, yeah,” Robin breathes, but he doesn’t let Glenn out of his arms quite yet. “You know,” Robin adds, “Nick was telling me earlier that he’s going to sleep over at Grant’s tonight.”

So I'll be there when you arrive / The sight of you will prove to me I'm still alive / And when you take me in your arms / And hold me tight / I know it's gonna mean so much tonight * * * * *

She’d found him there, and she'd saved him, like she always did.

We didn’t know Morgan’s name when we first wrote the scene where they discussed her in Name, so we wrote around it as though Glenn was reluctant to name her out loud. We maintained this throughout the rest of Crowd except for the line where Glenn says that he’ll tell Robin about the phone call with Morgan. Felt right. Her presence is very much felt but Glenn, at least, is not in the habit of talking about her unless he has no other option. * * * * *

They ran out of the venue and down the street, hand in hand and giggling like kids playing hooky.

@shrack was the one who began writing our Glenn with very physical methods of showing affection. I liked it a lot as a vibe and carried on with it. He and Morgan are also very young here. Glenn would be 21 or 22 at the oldest, which is barely older than Connor is now. I've always attributed some of his immaturity to the fact that he became a parent pretty young. (Glenn is 36 when Name starts and Nick is 13, meaning Nick was born when Glenn was 23 and probably conceived when Glenn was 22.)

* * * * *

It was like falling in love with every single person in the crowd, all at once. Glenn felt like he would never be lonely again as long as he could have that feeling.

Facing twenty thousand of your friends / how can anyone feel so lonely? * * * * *

By then, the GC3 performed in venues so cavernous that Glenn couldn’t see anything outside his own spotlight. He could hear the audience roar approval at him, making a wall of sound that he could feel like a physical force. It was loud enough to drown out the screaming in his head, loud enough to let him forget that she wasn’t out there among them. It was the closest he could get to forgetting, so Glenn did it as much as he could.

Part of a success that never ends / But I’m thinking about you only... * * * * *

Slowly but surely, he’d been learning how to go through life with his mind and heart focused on someone else’s well-being. It didn’t come naturally: that wasn’t the kind of family either of them knew. Still, they’d promised each other that they could do better than how they were raised.

I am never here for iterations of this dynamic that assume Glenn is the fuck-up and Morgan was the perfect parent. They both became parents at exactly the same moment, you know? The world does not need one more story with an incompetent sitcom dad and his smoking-hot wife who does all the actual parenting. * * * * *

Nick is long since asleep, but Adele fucking Close has stayed up until these sickening hours of the early morning.

Conveniently, Glenn’s brain has overwritten all his memories with the correct name and pronouns for Nick, because writing around it is a pain in the ass otherwise. * * * * *

“Hello, Glenny.”

Bill calling Glenn “Glenny” that time at Ravenloft really stuck with me. I don’t know if they ever revisited that in the actual podcast, but it was so slimy and chilling somehow. * * * * *

“I fucked up,” Glenn says bluntly, and his mother narrows her eyes ever so slightly at his cursing.

Glenn gets in his own head early in Crowd about comparing himself to Penny, and Robin later worries about putting himself on ‘the same level’ as Morgan. Neither of them are quite galaxy-brained enough to realize that there’s more than one person in Glenn’s life who uses a lot of terms of endearment for him, considers themselves old-fashioned, and wishes everybody wouldn’t swear so much. * * * * *

“Thank you, mother,” Glenn grits out. He sounds absolutely nothing like himself, not that she minds. “I appreciate your help.”

I assume that part of the reason Glenn has such a hard time offering genuine apologies is that when he was growing up, too much of his apologizing was forced rather than sincere. * * * * *

“You are out of chances. If you continue to neglect this child, I will get the state involved, and I will take custody myself. I’ve already spoken to the Freemans, and I have their full support.”

Morgan’s parents are not mentioned very often and don’t seem to be a big part of the Close boys’ lives. I imagine that whatever tenuous relationship Glenn had forged with them post-accident was pretty much destroyed by Adele forming this alliance with them and telling Glenn about it. * * * * *

Her patient demeanor is meant to remind him that she's here to clean up his mess again, like she always does, and his proper response is humble and apologetic gratitude.

And that is why Robin being patient can set Glenn off so bad, such as after the bike accident when they were arguing:

Glenn doesn’t really hear most of what Robin’s saying. It’s all just soothing, pointless stuff in that obnoxious tone that means Robin thinks he’s the smart, calm, mature one here and Glenn’s the immature asshole who lost his temper again. He’d never say it, but Glenn can tell what he’s thinking.

I hope it came across clearly in that part that Robin doesn’t actually see the situation that way and isn’t saying or thinking anything to that effect, but Glenn feels like he is because he’s had this somatic/emotional reaction triggered. Spatially he's arguing with Robin, but his body and a lot of his brain thinks he's arguing with his mom. Trauma can be like that. * * * * *

His mother keeps talking like he didn’t say a word. “We can all stay in each others’ lives, Glenny. I’m not trying to cut you out, I’m trying to help you. I know you think I’m a monster, but I’m just trying to do what’s best for my family.”

Sometimes the monster will tell you it's not a monster. * * * * *

From that night forward, Glenn will always know that he’s not a good person, because he almost takes his mother up on the offer.

I don’t think being tempted by this offer means Glenn’s a bad person, but we write Glenn as somebody who wishes he was a good person but is really afraid that he isn’t. He was at a very low point here and he needed help. Feeling drawn to the only help on offer, even if it was from a toxic source, is pretty understandable. * * * * *

"I'll get Nicky ready for school tomorrow and you can sleep in. We’ll finish talking about this when you feel better.”

Man, I hate that abuser thing when they start being sweet as soon as you muster the energy to fight back. You get a little bit of steam built up and then they dodge you like a matador so that it dissipates again. To be clear, Nicky isn't Nick's deadname or anything, it's just the somewhat baby-ish diminutive form that Adele uses for him, like how she calls Glenn "Glenny." * * * * *

“Family is important,” his mother says sadly. Just before she closes the door, she gives him a look that’s an exquisite mix of regret, tender affection, and a tiny spark of hope. Adele would have been a great actress, but Glenn can’t imagine who that particular performance was for.

Performance skills run in the family and Adele comes by her acting chops honestly, although she doesn’t know it. I picture one of those situations where a young woman from a good background gets pregnant by some rakehell actor and her family covers up the scandal by raising the baby as a new sibling. That would mean that as long as Adele’s “older sister” never spilled the beans, nobody in their family at this point knows that they’re related to Meryl. If Nick ever decides to do one of those ancestry DNA tests, things are going to get interesting. * * * * *

He certainly didn’t find it very compelling. Family? All the family he will ever need is sleeping soundly down the hallway, tiny arms wrapped tight around a stuffed plush Babar.

I wanted Nick to have a stuffed animal that was sort of his parallel to Mr. Lion. Robin is drinking with Mr. Lion in the beginning of Crowd when he’s upset about losing Connor to college, and Mr. Lion appears again when Glenn comes in to talk to Nick and Connor after Robin’s accident.

“I… I guess I don’t know.” Nick looks down, avoiding eye contact by staring into the darkness under Connor’s bed. Mr Lion is under there in a clear plastic box, along with some other stuffed animals. Even when Nick first met Connor, the stuffed animals were already banished underneath the bed instead of on top of it. But over the years, Connor’s never thrown them away.

Mr. Lion is one of the various ways we played with the theme that Connor is, as Nick puts it, “somewhere between a kid and an adult.” Connor is a very confident and clever guy, but you don't magically get a giant box of maturity and life experience on your 18th birthday. At various points, he asks both Nick (at the campus concert) and Glenn (after Robin’s accident) to try to understand that he's still growing and figuring stuff out. Nick has definitely been deprived of some chances to be a kid, but in some ways Connor has as well. He started hanging out with Glenn after Penny and Robin split up, and although he and Nick obviously hit it off, Connor was closer to Glenn for a while. In a different universe, that might not have turned out as well - I mean, tell me you wouldn't side-eye that arrangement in real life. I sure would. Robin just sort of flings his hands up at the role Connor plays for the Close boys, but I strongly suspect that shit would not have flown on Penny’s watch.

It’s funny - he thought Connor was so grown-up when they met, but the guy was only 16 when the Wrights moved in next door. He wasn’t much older by the time he was over at the Close place almost every day, helping Nick with homework or cleaning questionable leftovers out of the fridge. It didn’t strike Nick as weird at the time, It was just another thing about his life that wasn’t like anybody else’s. He never questioned what was in it for Connor. Back then, Nick didn’t even realize how lonely he himself was - he wouldn't have figured out why a kid whose parents had just gotten divorced might want to come over to the chaotic Close apartment to get away from the quiet in his own home.

Everybody was doing their best, and everything worked out for the best, but Connor over the course of the stories is sorting out the balance that works for him in terms of responsibility and playfulness. Fortunately, now that he has less responsibility for Nick, he can enjoy Nick more as a friend and brother. In Name, Robin and Glenn both sort of assume Connor will act as a babysitter to Nick while they go off on their first date; by Crowd, Connor is hanging out playing Smash with Nick and Grant as the gents get ready for their dinner date, but he's there socially, as a peer. Him being goofier and more immature also frees up Nick to do the same, since if Connor is cool and Connor is being playful, then "it's not a little kid thing, it's a bro thing" They both get to be kids now in a way that they weren't before, and I love that for them. Anyway, the point of Mr. Lion and why I wanted to give Nick a stuffed animal as well was to draw the parallel between the sons more directly and to anchor the stuffed animal component. So far there hadn't been any moment in which an actual kid was holding an actual stuffed animal.

[faythelyse]

Joji x Reader {female reader} Apocalyptic Setting <Part One>

The sound of your closest friends baby jolts you awake. You had fallen asleep sitting up in a chair near the window. You stand and stretch for a moment before walking into the kitchen. Jessica meets you at the doorway to the kitchen.

"We're officially out of food." She bounces her daughter on her knee.

"Alright, I'll grab Ashlee and we can hit that up this place we noticed coming back from our last haul. It looked like a department store or something. I have an extra cheese stick in my bag if Jade is hungry."

Jessica knods and sighs. You knew saving that cheese stick was a good call. After grabbing the snack for Jade you head to the garage where Ashlee was working on the truck we scored a few months ago. Ashlee notices you enter and slams her hand on the top. "We still need some gas for this bad boy!"

"No time like the present to go look for some?!" You add expecting a negative response.

Ashlees face turned sour. "We're out of food."

"Yep. You going."

"Well of course, but we just went on a trip 3 days ago. Those rations were supposed to last a week. Jess eats like a fucking pig." Ashlee starts throwing her gloves off onto the desk and prepares a bag for the emergency food trip we are underprepared for in all honesty.

"How much ammo do we have left?"

Ashlee sighs heavily "We were low last trip. We might have 5 or 6 shells left for the shotgun."

"And the handgun?" You interject.

"Fifteen." Ashlee finishes packing up leaving the shotgun for me to take. "I'm gonna take a smoke break. Meet me out front when your ready to roll." She puts the cigarette in her mouth and walks out.

Grabbing the gun you quickly head for your room to gather the essentials. Outside Ashlee was taking the last drag off her cigarette before flicking it to the road. I stare at the bikes in front of us wishing we had gas for the truck. "Jesus christ I hate these bikes, I'm wore out by the time we get to wherever we're going." Ashlee smiles. "Soon Y/N" Ashlee closes her eyes and daydreams for a moment. Imagining life with a car again.

About halfway there we stop and scout a bit. Make sure no one is out and about before we pull closer into this town.

Right on the edge of town we leave our bikes locked to a tree behind a small abandoned house. It was a soft pink color. It somewhat stood out making it easier to remember where we left our things. We chat quietly while making our way to a large department store.

The store was huge. The sign had fallen partially. A corner of the building was also caving in. Jessica, never going out on many supply trips didn't always realize the danger she put Ashlee and I in on a somewhat regular basis. Although we have become better at it over time.

As we arrived at the doors we became silent. Searching for any possible noises or animals that could get us in worse trouble than we were already putting ourselves in. Instead of going in through the front we found a side door that appeared quieter to open. Upon entering we were stunned to see lots of stuff still on the shelves. Why had this store not been hit so badly by looters. Shocked by the nostalgia and childlike joy we let our gaurd down. We casually walked down aisles and shared past memories that seemed insignificant then. We would give anything to be able to visit a store normally again. Buy a new dress to wear for date night or some shit.

"Holy shit, they have mother fucking WINE!!!"

Ashlee was almost in tears, and I couldn't contain my smile. We packed as many as we could. We still needed room for actual food.

Just then we both heard a single gunshot so we dropped immediately to the floor as quickly as possible. Readying our guns we slowly get up and sneak closer to the back of the store where the gun had fired. There is a hallway that leads back to the bathrooms and what I assume might be the head office or the workers lounge area. We see a shadow at first emerging from the hallway. We aim thinking it could be one of the infected, but it was just a man. He pulled out a walkie telling someone on the other end he's fine. Ashlee and I are frozen for a minute. We hadn't seen people in a long time. Hell it's even been awhile since we've seen an infected. They have been sparce lately. Probably just spreading out more. Although we weren't a very populated area anyway. Ashlee whispers "What do we do, ignore them?" I shrug not knowing myself. It would be risky to assume they are friendly. And if they were to rob us we would be left with nothing. Another man runs up, he has a large backpack on. Ashlee and I locked eyes for a moment. We had the same idea to potentially rob this man. I shake my head. "Maybe they will trade?" I whisper.

Ashlee shakes her head in disbelief that they would consider trading. We had not glanced back at the men for a minute, when we turned back to check on them they were gone. I turn back and shrug, if they were gone then we had no further issue. Ashlee and I nod knowing we should get a move on and wrap this up before we get spotted. While crouching we slowly walk around the nearest aisle where we are met face to face with the two men we had just spotted. Both shocked we all immediately stand, but none of us draw a weapon. After a solid 30 seconds of no speaking just staring I speak up

" We really just need to grab some food, we won't be any trouble." It was then that I noticed one of them was injured.

"You're hurt?" I said softly. Ashlee also softened her expression when she noticed the wound. Ashlee broke her silence as well, "Y/N is a healer of sorts, maybe we can help."

Ashlee and I are both suckers for wanting to help. The man with big sad brown eyes looked at me with some hope.

"Can you really hel-ehp" he stopped abruptly and grabbed the wound on his side that started to soak through his thick green coat. I couldn't tell the severity of it, I didn't want him to die though, so in the moment I just decided to say yes. His friend went alongside him to help support him. "My name is Ben" He proceeded to shake Ashlees hand and then my own. "This is George, nice to meet you. We were here looking for medical supplies, if you could help us out we would pay you back some how. Whatever you need, I promise. We'll work it off."

"I'm not a real doctor or anything man. I just started learning this stuff since the world went to shit. I've practiced on dogs, and cats, a few humans. Nothing too crazy. I've become pretty decent at sew up jobs. I just promise to do my best to help. If something goes wrong I just cant have you blaming me."

Ben smiled "Listen, its not like im going to find some heart surgeon out here. Anything you can do to help is better than whatever I could come up with."

Ashlee walks up to the other side of George and throws his arm over her neck. "I'll help walk him to the bikes."

I nod and quickly grab everything i can that is edible, even found a few seed packets. Elena will be stoked to add these to her garden.

We biked back to our little community that cosisted of 2 houses that have been conjoined by fencing in the two. Its somewhat protected by being hidden in the many trees that surround our community.

Jessica was sitting smoking outside. As she saw us pull up with two strangers she looked worried. I held up my hand to show her everything was okay and waved. We brought George in and laid him in a spare room we had set up for me to work on anyone who had been hurt. There was no bed, only a futon mattress had been laid on the floor.

"Set him down gently." Ben whispered.

Ashlee had a worried expression, I could tell she was worried about the blood loss. He appeared paler than before. I sat down and started preparing my equipment as fast as possible and urged Ashlee to grab some other things I needed.

As I neared being finished with sterilizing the needle I told everyone to leave the room. I can never concentrate while people watch. I had assumed George was knocked out when I reached down to start removing his jacket he grabbed my wrist.

"This is going to fucking hurt isn't it." He breathed. I nodded. I had nothing to numb him. Then I remembered the extra wine Ashlee and I had discovered. We had grabbed six bottles. I pulled out a bottle and handed it to George. He glanced it over.

"For the pain?"

"For the pain." I said as took it back from him to open it. After opening I asked if he would like a cup.

"Bottles fine, lets get this over with." He started to shrug off his jacket exposing the large gash on his side. Hopefully he hadn't punctured an organ or something I couldn't fix.

He took 3 large drinks and motioned for me to come to him. I started cleaning the wound to the best of my ability with what we had. It was time to start sewing. Sewing still makes me nervous.

I was ready to pierce skin when he interrupted.

"Do you have anything to bite on?"

I took the belt that was around my waist wrapped it up and handed it to him. He bit down and nodded to show he was ready.

I started and his eyes rolled back into his head, I kept going. I wanted this to be over as fast as possible. He started making a few small shrieks here and there but he was toughing it out rather well I thought.

As I was getting to the last few stitches his hand found my leg and grabbed it tightly. I felt horrible for causing him so much pain.

I started to just mumble I'm sorry over and over again until I had finally finished. His head fell back onto the pillow in exhaustion and agony. I leaned up and pressed my hand to his forehead and face and apologized some more. Trying to gauge how well he was actually doing. I stopped myself and realized I needed to finish by covering it with a bandage. I grabbed clean cloth from the cabinet and bandaged him. I look at him for a moment. I should grab his friend and let him know I've finished. He probably wants to wait with him until he wakes up. As I struggle to stand back up George's hand grabs mine and squeezes. I squeeze back giving him reasurrence, and leave to confront everyone.

Ben steps up to me immediately as i exit the room.

"What's the damage, is he cool? Are we good?"

I could tell he was nervous about the answer.

"I'm not sure yet honestly, he's all stiched up. He's also still alive and lucid which is a good sign. It's going to take a long time to heal. Maybe a month or two. It also needs to stay clean and free of infection. I recommend staying here until he's fully healed. Ben seemed pleased with my answers "Can I go see him now?" I nodded and he rushed in.

Ashlee pulled me to the side. "You reccomend they stay for two months?"

"Yes, that was my recommendation. He was hurt prerty bad, he shouldn't be moving at all for atleast 3 weeks. I think we should just chill. As long as he heals well, we could use their help."

Ashlee crosses her arms. "This is risky, but Im with you. It's nice to have new faces around."

"I agree" I smile, feeling slightly better that I may have saved someone's life.

[mysticgalaxychaos]

"In depth" analysis (commentary) on Mcs vs Yaha dialogue (part 2)

This is the continuation from the previous thing he said and now he downright flirts with Nowe in a very very creepy way. This phrase can be read so wrong and I guess it's meant to be that way. Again with the weird word choice! Is "look into my eyes" that bad? I mean we all know you're trying to smash so why be weird about it?? And that tone!! So horny!

Imma assume this one is referring to Nowe too and there is just nothing I can really say. I guess the battle got him in the mood for flirting and... Other stuff... Ngl tho those horror-fied slowed down roblox death sound effects set a pretty good mood!

*Ah yes! Nothing gets you going like watching your pact partners, whose existence your life depends on being slaughtered!*

Now the focus turns to Urick and we also move to different footage because the other one had the order mixed up (apparently these quotes appear in a certain order but it depends to the time you take and finishing the fight quickly cuts out some important ones). Here Yaha talks about "the old good days" when he and Urick were... Friends?? (A couple??). This tells us that Yaha up until this point had hopes of them going back to what they used to be which is a bit of a sad thing considering how they were friends and Yaha was trying to change the relationship into a romantic one. Him wanting to at least be friends again is pretty sad... (Urick's just heatless man!)

This is also a very weird line! On the surface it just seems like it's the first line that reveals Yaha's feelings for Urick... and that's why I've went out of my way to overanalyze the shit out of it, so LISTEN! This will tie to later quotes as well (of course) but not in the way that you might think. This does seem to be a question, askig Urick and assuming that he did know about Yaha's feelings but the way that "Right, Urick" is spoken kinda gives a vibe of "Right, Urick? We were FRIENDS, RIGHT??? Friends? Were we FRIENDS Urick? Were we really friends, though???" But this is kinda contradicted by the "you must have known". I think it would be more appropriate to say something like "You knew" or "You did know"

Now, now, NOW this is a bit of a ground breaking quote, and given the context, it seems like it's addressed at Urick. From what I've seen, if the gameplay goes by quickly you get this like after the "Come now, I'm waiting" line which makes this seem like it's about "General Oror" but this is an idea I am not willing to entertain so for our sanity's sake we will take Urick as a fact here. Now the first time I watched a gameplay of this game, I missed this quote completely, but it affects the story quite a bit mainly for one reason, we don't know what he's talking about! Is this "exquisite moment" that day he met Urick at the orphanage? Was it the day he discovered Lord of the Rings is a thing? Was General Oror really that good?? We don't know? But considering the context and Yaha's perceived personality (both before and after pact deal) we can safely assume that General Oror is in fact really THAT good that this was an incident involving Urick and Yaha. This is the "event" I talked about before. My interpretation is that something (probably sexual) happened between them (It could have been romantic but judging by how much emphasis is put by both Urick and Yaha on the fact that he lost his ability to feel *sexual* pleasure, we can see they are both very sex oriented). Also we know this thing happened before the pact deal both from something that's said later on and from the fact that if this was a sexual experience, he seems to have enjoyed it which he wouldn't be able to do after the pact deal (*Dramatically looks down*). Either way, Yaha here talks about what appears to be a very big moment for him, probably involving Urick

This is were Yaha goes off and begins telling us the story of his life (not really, his pact deal) and it kinda messes up the narrative of what we've had so far. Because if this "exquisite moment" he talked about before was something that happened between them that would render them "more than friends" this takes us back to square one ("The friendzone"). A bit random, but this quote also makes me sad. If you think about it, the man sacrificed a part of himself (all be it not a super important one) for Urick and it still didn't work for a completely uncknown reason. The mention of the word "finally" implies he tried to "get" him using other means to, but it could just mean he waited for super long, even though again, given the context, it doesn't look like it. Urick hates this poor guy for a reason, that reason, though uncknown, could very well be Yaha's attempts to get Urick to date him.

:(... He sounds so heartbroken... But, as sad as this is, it gives us what might be the most important piece of information we've had so far, that being that Urick rejected Yaha. Not only that, but "rejected me then" implies that Urick had rejected him before. This tells us that Urick didn't want a romantic relationship, that Yaha probably made multiple attempts to get him and that Urick is (drum roll, important plot hole incoming) immune to Yaha's charm! YEP! The supernatural charm he paid with his (*dramatic gasp*) ability to feel pleasure!!! (*Dramatically faints with arm on forehead*). Also, this tells us Yaha hadn't been the most loyal to his love for Urick, as Urick was "The only one" who wouldn't go with him. That does have a couple of scary implications given the rest of the cast, but we won't judge Yaha's taste (or lack thereof) in men now. The phrasing used here also gives the impression that Urick was never involved with Yaha in any way that was not friendly which makes the other quote ("I want to relieve that exquisite moment") super confusing... Guess we'll have to assume it was about General Oror after all...

This is Yaha's quote when you defeat all his gnomes and the gnome king (?) appears. It doesn't have any plot relevance, but the phrasing is interesting. Yaha's described the battle as "playing" before and addresses his gnomes as "children". I honestly have no clue what this means or why he does it, it just kinda makes him sound super innocent and child like, which I think the devs were kinda going for with his voice and everything. Which is just really weird... Cause he's a massive pervert who might have fucked every single adult male character we know... I really don't understand what they were going for. Maybe some short of subverting expectations/stereotypes kinda thing, like "Look! He's an elf! You know how elves are in fiction, pure. And look at how innocent he sounds and how he addresses these gnomes as children and... Oh look! We tricked you! He's actually a creepy prevy guy!!!¡¡" On the other hand, he is supposed to be an illusionist so I guess it might make sense...

Here is where the bosse's helth begins to get kinda critical and Yaha begins to realise that he might die, so he starts talking about it, trying to get who I will again assume to be Urick to maybe spare him (spoiler alert, Urick is a heatless rock of a human being and he won't spare anyone). Again I have to point out this part because they just keep giving us contradictory statements!! Here Yaha is trying to convince Urick (and Urick's friends) to not kill him, and his argument is "I will die and the crystal will be destroyed", but here, the crystal really doesn't make for a convincing argument. Urick (or his friends) isn't attached to this crystal, so Yaha's argument here really is something along the lines of "Urick if I die you ain't getting none". Really he is using his "beautiful body" to get Urick to spare him. It's either that these two really, REALLY don't understand each other, at ALL, or that something has happened in the past that would lead to Urick not wanting to loose Yaha's "beautiful body". Interesting word order there as well. "YOU would let THAT happen?" instead of "Would you let that happen". Placing emphasis on "You" reinforces this idea. Also that final line sounds kinda mocking.

And this is Yaha's final quote before he dies and we go into the cutsceen. As you can see he's fully gone insane, presumably because of the extreme levels of power given to him by the Hogyoku in a short amount of... Wait, what am I even writing about?? Yaha's definitely kinda loosing it there and I can't make sense of this at all... In what way is this romantic? Unless it's meant to be ironic.

"Oh, so you're killing me! Yes, Urick this is the perfect ending to our date! You are SUCH a romantic guy!!"

[discodemons]

The Bitch Is Back & The Pete Davidson Effect

Who would have thought that some 5'8 white dude named Greg would be the best sex of my life?

One week ago I went on a first date that literally has not ended and is still going on as I write this. We met at a bar and within 45 minutes he spilled his beer on us but we sat there laughing, hands resting on our thighs burning through the cold, wet fabric of our jeans.

What happened next has been a primal blur of sweat, spit, cum, slapping, choking, and saying things we know we shouldn't but don't regret a bit.

To provide some context, my first sexual encounters just felt so strange to me that I found myself either overthinking or completely disassociating. My first ex and I definitely had a lot of great sex but my memories of our sex life are clouded by the violent times. My next ex was just...it just wasn't the best sex ever, let's put it that way. All the other times in between my boyfriends felt the same as the first few. The novelty of a new fuck is more exciting and satisfying than the fuck itself. But, not this time.

The first few days I found myself thinking and even saying out loud "is this really happening?" How can he already know every spot and hit it so well every time? I'm sure he wonders how I can possibly be so wet every single time he goes down there.

I've completely lost count of how many times we've had sex and the number of times I've come are astronomical. I've barely eaten or slept and it's difficult to focus on any task without losing focus, thinking about him inside me, and slipping back into that euphoric feeling.

My therapist put a good word to it; all-consuming.

It feels like it never truly stops. All the moments in between simply talking and being near each other just feel like foreplay.

I'm not going to lie. It's got me all types of mentally fucked up.

On the one hand, when we're together everything is fucking wonderful. On the other hand, when he's gone I'm reminded I'm still in love with my ex who lives across the country, and despite barely knowing this new guy, I am head over heels for him. What the fuck is wrong with me? Why can't I just casually like someone and not convince myself it's more?

I mean he's kind of got a great package. Not just his penis. I don't know him well enough to say he's got the full package, but he's certainly checking 3 very important boxes. I call it 'The Pete Davidson Effect'.

The Pete Davidsons, Joe Burrows, and Jack Harlows of the world know this simple truth; all white men are born with literally zero swag and it is only acquired through time as you become:

1. Really good in bed

2. Funny

3. Talented at either sports or the arts

Unfortunately, if you're a white guy you have to have all 3 if you want some swag. Sorry, I don't make the rules.

Nice is a bonus, but a lot of people will fuck you regardless of that.

[90363462]

How To Get More Of What You Need In The Bedroom

Hey, we've all got needs...right?

Shellie R. WarrenOct. 08, 2021 06:12PM EST

Sexual needs. Lawd, they are so real, y'all. This is something that I try and get through to the head of some of the clients that I work with — that when it comes to sexual activity, there are some things that each and every one of us deem to be necessary, an urgent want or something that's essential when it comes to experiencing true pleasure. And when those needs aren't met? Boy, that can lead to all kinds of sex-related issues including a disconnect between partners, less sexual frequency or even resentment over time.

Hopefully, you're getting all of your current sexual needs met. But if you happen to be someone who is out here feeling some type of way because you and your partner are not getting more of what you and/or they desire, I've got seven things that many people have told me they wish they received more of in the sex department, along with some insight on how to get these particular kinds of needs met.

Romance

Whenever I'm talking to married couples about what they wish they received more of, as far as bedroom action is concerned, it never fails that wives will usually say "romance" while husbands typically say "spontaneity". As far as what's behind Door #2 goes, I'll get more into that in a sec. For now, I'll touch on romance. Personally, I think it's so important when it comes to sexual activity that I wrote "What Does It Truly Mean When Someone's 'Romantic'?" and "Tonight's The Night For A Really Romantic Sexual Experience" for the site. One of the main things to keep in mind about romance is the fact that it needs to happen way before even stepping one foot into your boudoir. You know, I've been working with couples for many years now and I find it to be no surprise that a lot of people whose sex lives are ho-hum and subpar are also people who don't spend a lot of quality time together — going on dates (including sex dates), taking weekend road trips, going for walks after dinner, cooking together, dancing to their favorite R&B jams in the living room…you catch my drift.

If you wish you could get more scented soy candles on your nightstand and rose petals on your bed, start with getting together with your partner to plan some dates together, even if you've got to get super creative and have them at home (check out "10 Romantic Dates You Can Go On (In Your Own Home)"). The more thoughtful and attentive the two of you are outside of your bedroom, the easier it will be to act that way inside of it.

Spontaneity

I'm working with three couples right now where the husbands are pretty close to being pissed and shutting all the way down. Why? Well, when they were dating their wife, sex was random, fun and it happened all of the time. This was pretty much the case during the first year of their marriage as well. Yet as time has gone by, morning sex a few times a week has now become sex twice a month — and that's if they are lucky. Oh, but not right now. Now it's like their wives wanna screw like rabbits. Why? Because they are trying to conceive a child. Getting pregnant, each husband is fine with. What's got them triggered to high hell is the fact that if these women can muster up all of this sexual adrenaline to get pregnant, why can't they do that just to enjoy being with their partner?

These men have a point. Besides, sex shouldn't be treated as a "means to an end". When you're married, it first needs to be honored as a priority and staple in your relationship (because if there is one thing that should separate everyone else from you and your spouse, it's that you have sex with your husband), along with being a very intimate way to get closer to your partner — to bond with them on spiritual, emotional and physical level. And while there are times when life may require that you schedule it in order to make it happen, there still needs some spontaneity up in that mug too. Again, I didn't say it — most of the men I know, married and single, say it, on loop, all of the time.

And why is spontaneity such a big deal? It's impulsive. It's passionate. By definition, it doesn't require a ton of effort or premeditation. Some synonyms for the word include simple (dig that!), automatic, free-spirited, unavoidable, uncontrived, off-the-cuff, and inevitable (dig that one too!).

Being spontaneous is meeting your partner at the door, butt-ass naked. Being spontaneous is joining your partner in the shower while they are in it. Being spontaneous is sending random texts about all of the things on your sex bucket list that you want to check off over the next couple of weeks. Being spontaneous is walking into his office and engaging in some oral action, regardless of what he's doing. Being spontaneous is letting him know, out of the blue, that you want to make the kind of movie that only the two of you can watch together.

It's kind of crazy that if spontaneity is the main thing that you and/or yours are missing, it's important to talk about it first. However, if you remember the synonyms "simple" and "inevitable" while you're having the discussion of how to bring more into the sexual part of your relationship, it really can remind you both to come up with ways to make each other feel desirable…just because…with absolutely no agenda other than cultivating pure pleasure on a dime.

Seduction

Ah. The art of seduction. If anyone is bored when it comes to their sex life (check out "7 Signs You're In A 'Sex Rut' & How To Get Out Of It"), I'd venture to say that a lack of seducing and/or being seduced is playing a major role in it all. Shoot, I'll take it even further and say that some people aren't getting what they need in this area because it's been so long since it's happened that they have lost sight of what seduction even entails.

Flirting is an act of seduction. Dressing seductively on dates is an act of seduction. Wearing lingerie is an act of seduction. Extending foreplay (including mental foreplay; check out "Mental Foreplay Hacks That Ultimately Takes Intercourse To New Levels") is an act of seduction. Taking off each other's clothes, ever-so-slowly, before sex is an act of seduction. Bringing in sex condiments (check out "12 'Sex Condiments' That Can Make Coitus Even More...Delicious") is an act of seduction. Doing anything with the intent of enticing your partner to lust you? That is what it means to seduce him.

Unlike spontaneity, seduction is something that is extremely premeditated. You've got to think about what kind of scent he adores on you and where he likes you to put it most (check out "8 Natural Aphrodisiac Scents, Where They Go & How To Make Them Last"). You've got to ponder whether you should go out with him with a lace thong or with no panties at all. You've got to really reflect on what kind of atmosphere to create that will make him want to climb the walls. That's the cool thing about seduction, though — the more thought you put into being the ultimate seductress, the more excited you will probably get about the day or night that lies ahead.

Affirmation

I am a words of affirmation kind of gal. I'm pretty sure that's a big part of the reason why I'm also such a fan of dirty talk — and indeed, like other sexual activities, it is a skill; it's not something that comes automatically or easily for everyone. OK, but I'm getting a little bit ahead of myself here. Let's first touch on why affirming your partner is such an important thing to do. While actions are definitely important, words are too. When you affirm someone, you're letting them know that you see them, that you value them and that you appreciate having them in your life. Affirming someone can help to boost their self-esteem, to make them feel closer to and safer around you and it can remind them of why you chose to be with them in the first place.

While it's not discussed, nearly enough, dirty talk can definitely be a form of verbally affirming your partner because when you're telling them what you're physically attracted to, what you enjoy about the act itself and what they can do to get you to get there — it's like participating in a sex-themed pep rally of sorts. Besides, the best kind of sex incorporates all five senses (sight, smell, touch, taste and hearing) and when you are telling your partner what you adore about them and what pleases you most about sex, in your absolutely sexiest voice, how can that not inspire them to give you more of what you need and want? Exactly.

Oral Action

There are a few people in my world who have pretty high sex drives and yet, at the same time, they aren't big on kissing (check out "Umm, What's Up With These People Who Hate Kissing?") and/or giving (or sometimes even receiving) oral sex ("Sooo...What If You HATE Oral?"). While I personally can't relate to either stance (chile), if you happen to be someone who falls into either category, something that can help in the oral sex department is flavored lubrication. Hey, I'm not playing. These days, there are all sorts of brands that taste so goodthat it can make going down or being gone down on a lot more pleasant if you or yours happen to be someone who is hesitant because it's just not something that you can wrap your head around (no pun). 

Also, if you happen to be someone who is self-conscious about if you're doing it well or not, well, I'll put it to you this way — you're probably gonna lick an ice cream cone way better than an empty spoon. In other words, sweet skin is gonna make you way more enthusiastic and passionate than plain skin will. Feel me? Anyway, as far as letting-lube-lead-the-way goes, check out "The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant". It's a little hack that really can make a huge difference. HUGE.

Pampering

Is it just me or does it seem like pampering and sex don't go hand in hand as much as they should? When I think of "treating with extreme care" in the context of coitus, to be honest with you, what comes to my mind is more afterplay (check out "Sure, Your Foreplay Game Is On Point. Now What About The 'Afterplay'?") than anything else because, if we're gonna be real, it's a lot easier to want to act "excessively indulgent" towards your partner when you're trying to get some. Oh, but it's next level to do it after you've already "been to the mountaintop" and nothing sounds more appealing than a nap.

So, how can you and your partner sexually pamper one another after sex? A massage. Soaking in the tub together. Giving each other a handwritten note or card that you had prepared beforehand. Feeding each other aphrodisiacs like strawberries, chocolate, and watermelon. Surprising each other with "favorite thing" tokens.

Basically, by making sure that the "end" is just as sweet, special, and satisfying as the beginning, that can make each sexual experience that much more endearing and memorable. It can also make both of you really excited about being with one another again…very, very soon.

Pillow Talk

I've shared before that if you've got a man who happens to fall asleep right after sex, you really shouldn't get mad at him; that's how he was created. There is a biochemical called prolactin that's released when men ejaculate that typically results in them feeling drained and tired. Not much can be done about that. However, what I will say is a lot of the guys who I've discussed this with have told me that falling asleep is a lot easier to do when their partner decides that she now wants to talk about where the relationship is headed, what bill needs to be paid or what chore needs to be done around the house.

In other words, guys are already tapped out after sex and so, a boring or emotionally draining conversation definitely doesn't inspire them to want to keep their eyes open. So, if more pillow talk is what you're after, try and keep the topics light, crack jokes or ask if he's down to watch something fun on the tube. While there is a time and place for "deep" pillow talk, right after sex usually isn't one of them. However, if you relax and try and stay in the flow of the moment, many men are down to spoon and chat for a while. Hell, 5-7 minutes, at least. #wink

For more love and relationships, features, dating tips and tricks, and marriage advice, check out xoNecole's Sex & Love section here.

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