#but is that also something they just like. know naturally ? does it just come to them like anything else or is it only from training ?

[syrupfog]

Zoro wakes up to the scratchy feeling of a note beneath his haramaki. 

“Cook’s name is Sanji. 

You fight every day. He hates you. He knows your favorite foods. You loved him. 

Hanahaki got bad again. You took the pill. 

No. of times this has happened: [a number of scribbles] 11”

The note looks like it’s been through the ringer, crumpled and bloodied. Zoro reads it, folds it up, and sticks it back in his haramaki. He assumes he’ll need it again.

The cook— Sanji— is hard to get along with. He yells at Zoro, fights with Zoro, complains about Zoro. He’s terrible. 

Living alongside him is like breathing. 

It feels so natural, slotting into place next to him. Zoro knows instantly why the disease keeps coming back. It’s hell.

Robin knows. Nami knows. Chopper doesn’t seem to, and if Usopp did then Sanji would. And Sanji doesn’t seem to know. 

Thank god Sanji doesn’t seem to know. 

It’s only a few weeks before Zoro’s coughing up petals again. Small and blue and fragile.

They’re on an island and it’s autumn and the town’s harvest festival is happening. There’s a cult or possibly just a really zealous group of farmers. Zoro doesn’t know; he got lost and ended up at an old woman’s cottage on the outskirts of town.

His theory circles back around to *cult* when he ends up prone on her floor after some apparently drugged mulled wine. She stands over him and rants about something or other— he doesn’t care what she has to say, he’s preoccupied with the way the drugs coursing through his system are making it hard to cough, and the flowers in his throat are sticking to his insides. 

It’s gross. He doesn’t cough them up so much as pukes them out. 

The old woman also thinks it’s gross. She kicks him, but she’s old. He doesn’t really feel it.

Anyway, it’s a whole thing. The problem is that the woman wants to drag him somewhere to be a sacrifice to the great pumpkin or something, but Zoro’s too heavy and she can’t move him. But when she opens the door to find a neighbour to help— 

Sanji’s there.

(Or, as Zoro has taken to calling him recently, Curly). 

(Nami told him after he started that he often ends up at that name). 

Sanji lays on the simpering to the old woman for all of about two minutes, asking if she’s seen some lost moss and then going on about her hair care. But eventually he does notice Zoro there on the floor behind her. 

Slipping around the woman, who seems to be somewhat at a loss, Sanji starts ranting to Zoro about how he shouldn’t drink so much if he’s going to puke it all up, and how he stinks now— and to be fair, Zoro’s shirt is covered in puke and wilted flower petals. But then Sanji starts pulling his shirt off of him while Zoro’s still struggling to get up, and as he does so, the note— The note slips out of his haramaki. 

And Zoro can’t grab it.

(He still can’t REALLY move, although he suspects that puking the flower petals did get some of the poison out). 

But he cant stop Sanji. His weak “fuck off, give that back” falls on deaf ears as Sanji unfolds it. Frowns at the state of it. Reads it. 

Fuck.

Then, fast as anything, Sanji stands up and punts Zoro hard enough that he flies across the room, hitting the far wall and sliding down to the floor with a grown. 

Awesome. Great. Good to know how Sanji feels.

He hears the click click of his dress shoes as Sanji hurries out. And then he’s alone with the old lady, who seems truly at a loss for what to do, but that’s okay. Zoro’s too busy coughing up whole branches to notice.

Zoro is retrieved by Robin and Usopp not too long after that. By the time they’re back at the ship he’s regained a fair amount of his mobility. Whatever was going on in town, Luffy took care of it. Or Usopp did, depending on who Zoro asked. 

It doesn’t matter.

Zoro coughs up petals and licks his wounds and starts searching for those pills. And probably it’s too early this time, but he just— 

He wants to forget this. 

He can’t find the pills, though, and he remembers too late that Sanji kept the note. He needs that.

But he’s a coward. He waits until everyone should be asleep before sneaking into the galley to see if he can find the note in the trash or something. 

He miscalculates, though, and runs straight into Sanji, smoking in the dark.

“Eleven times?” Sanji asks him, staring resolutely at the wall next to Zoro. 

“Apparently,” says Zoro. 

Sanji laughs. Humourlessly. “Can’t wait to make it a twelfth, can you?” 

“Listen,”growls Zoro. “It’s not my fault you read the fucking note. Just pretend you never found it.”

Sanji grits his teeth around his cigarette. “Is it that fucking horrible?” He asks. “The idea of having feelings for me is so fucking repulsive you’d rather rip me out of your life entirely?” 

Zoro goes to say something, but there are petals squirming their way up his throat.

He coughs, hacks, spits them into his palm. Delicate blue petals splattered with blood. “You asshole,” he says, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “What, would you prefer I wallow in rejection and suffocate on a fucking plant? I don’t plan on dying here.”

Sanji goes still and quiet. 

“You hid the pills, right?” Zoro continues. “Give them back. I’m done here.” 

“No,” says Sanji. Quietly. “I— Moss, you can’t believe that.” 

“Who else would it have been?” 

“No, I mean— yeah okay, I threw your pills overboard. But that’s not—“ He swallows. “Zoro. You can’t possibly think I would reject you..?” 

Zoro scrunches up his face in confusion. “Uh, yeah,” he says. “You flirted with that old woman who drugged me. You’ll flirt with our literal enemy before even looking at me.” He blinks. “And then you threw me into a wall!” 

“I was caught off guard!” Sanji shrieks, jumping up. “Anyone would have done that after reading that note!” 

“THAT’S AN INSANE THING TO THINK!” 

“WELL MAYBE I’M A LITTLE INSANE RIGHT NOW.“ 

They’re suddenly at each others’ throats. Zoro grabs Sanji’s collar as Sanji grips his shoulders. He’s grimacing, face inches from Zoro’s, cigarette smashed on the floor. 

“You don’t get to DECIDE WHAT I THINK and then HURT YOURSELF OVER AND OVER AGAIN,” Sanji yells. 

“I’m FINE, COOK,” Zoro yells back. “I was HANDLING IT.”

And then Sanji smashes their faces together. 

It’s a terrible kiss. Someone’s nose is bleeding and Zoro thinks it’s his. He thinks Sanji’s broken it. 

Pulling back, Sanji says, “You didn’t have to handle it.” He pushes his forehead against Zoro’s. “That’s the fucking problem.”

Zoro purses his lips because his eyes are damp. “Shut up,” he says. “How was I supposed to know?” 

Sanji’s hands are still on his collar and he pulls Zoro impossibly closer. “Just. Don’t forget me again.” 

Zoro closes his eyes. “Fine,” he says. “Eleven was enough.”

[blueteller]

Do you know how smart Cale actually is? Like- what extent his intelligence can reach?

That's an interesting question! Let's take a look.

From what I know of IQ scores, anything above 120 puts you in top 10% of the population. So I easily see Kim Rok Soo!Cale belonging in that category; of >120 IQ. However, IQ had always felt a little vague to me. It's nice to have a number to put on a scale and all, but what does it actually mean in reality? Let's try this from a different angle.

Gardner's Multiple Intelligences model of divides talent into eight categories, plus one additional one:

Visual-spatial

Linguistic-verbal

Logical-mathematical

Body-kinesthetic

Musical

Interpersonal

Intrapersonal

Naturalistic

Existential

Why not try to measure him up against each one, as no person is actually intelligent in every way and not even a fictional character can excel in all of them (unless they're a Mary Sue or something lol).

Visual and spatial judgment stands for easy reading, writing, puzzles solving, recognizing patterns and analyzing charts well. I think Cale is definitely a pro in this category; he does loves reading and he's fantastic at analyzing data.

Linguistic-verbal is for remember written and spoken information, debates, giving persuasive speeches, ability to explain things and skilled at verbal humor. And while I constantly make fun of Cale for not being able to explain himself, he IS good at using the "glib tongue" and being persuasive, so I think he is very skilled in this category as well.

Logical-mathematical means having excellent problem-solving skills, the ability to come up with abstract ideas and conduct scientific experiments, as well as computing complex issues. Cale is an incredible strategist able to change his plans in an instant, so he is definitely a genius in this field.

Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence is a fun one, because I think it's the hardest one to judge, considering that he literally changed bodies. It of course stands for sports, dancing, craftmanship, physical coordination, and remembering better by practice rather than learning theory. Cale... does not like that. However, it doesn't mean he's BAD at it. If he was a genius in this field, however, I believe he would like it a bit more. Thus – I suspect he was average. In the past he was forced to exercise for the sake of survival, but once he was given the option of taking it easy, he quit instantly. He is capable, but does not have any particular predisposition for it.

Musical Intelligence drives me nuts, because we literally do not know, and I dearly wish I did. There was not a single mention of it in the whole series. As much as I want to believe in a cool headcanon of KRS being an unrealized musical genius... I think he was probably average or below average in this.

Interpersonal Intelligence stands for communication, conflict-solving, perception and the ability to forge connections with others. And while you might have some doubts about Cale, I say he IS a total pro in this. Those are all leadership skills, and Cale is one HELL of a great leader.

However...

Intrapersonal Intelligence is where Cale is severely lacking. It could be partially due to trauma, but I think at least some of it comes through his natural personality. It stands for introspection, self-reflection, the ability to understand one's motivation and general self-awareness; and that is Cale's biggest weakness, one that might actually cost him his slacker life dream in the end, due to all the misunderstandings he causes.

The last two, Naturalistic and Existential Intelligence types, are also not really Cale's forte. The first is for things like botany, biology, and zoology, paired with enjoyment of camping and hiking – none of which Cale actually does for pleasure, only because he has to. And yeah, farming is in that category too, but it's not like Cale is actually a real farmer just yet. And the second is for stuff like philosophy, considering how current actions influence future outcomes, the ability to see situations from an outside perspective and reflections into the meaning of life and death – and Cale is REALLY not interested in this type of self reflection.

Which leaves Cale with 4 types of intelligence he excels at, 2 which he is REALLY BAD at, 1 where he's below average and 1 he's probably average, with 1 left completely unknown.

Does this make Cale a genius? Pretty much, yes. Does it also make him stupid in very specific ways? VERY MUCH, YES.

[inqilabi]

Another thing that I have observed over the years is that, not a lot of people are good at relationships. As in they don't know the fundamentals of a good relationship. And with that it follows, that for some people this comes naturally. And for some people this is learned.

A lot of people don't seem to be good at communicating in relationships. Meaning that they will let a thing that bothered them fester until it grows into resentment. And they bring it up once the resentment is bubbling. And obviously, because it's pent up, when do they do bring it up, it's in an explosive manner.

So everyone at some point learns that relationships are about communication. And they tell you this wisdom. But no one actually gives you the details and the formula

Communication is about

1) frequency. So don't let this fester. Bring it up right away

2) type of communication. So positive and the negative. Ie., things that are working but also not working. The positive communication will be, "oh I loved [action], because [what it made you feel]. You are so [the unique attribute about your partner that led to this behaviour]". This is what is going to build connection regularly. Regularly appreciating your partner. And not just in a generic manner. But in an instance specific manner.

Or in the negative "when the [situation/issue], it makes me [feeling], and if this continues to happen i will [feel/consequences]". It doesn't attack the partner and views them an opportunity to rise to meet your needs. And focuses instead on the situation / issue and the effect on you. This is what will maintain the relationship. Prevent it from going down.

3) manner of communication. You should never say "you always do this" "you never do this". That is not an productive way of conveying concern to your partner. That is just attacking them as mentioned in point #2. The person who is being addressed also should listen and not get defensive or criticism. If one person has legitimately brought up a concern, and the other person says "no i don't do that " or "it's not that big of a deal" or "well you did this [unrelated other thing so long ago]", this is a cause for concern. Men often do the latter and imo it's a red flag. A man should be able to listen to your concerns and not feel attacked if you have brought it up in a gentle let's tag-team this issue manner. If a man does get defensive or start criticizing you instead, he has an ego or insecurity problem. Thats one of the things that will chip away at a relationship. Is defensiveness and criticism.

There's other things that maintain relationships like taking interest in your partners interest, when they ask you to look at something or share something with you - then you should take interest. There's many people who might ignore it or outright dismiss it (chips away) or some might simply acknowledge it (maintains), where are some might take an interest and ask you questions on the thing youve shared. Ask you where you learned about it. What you found interesting about it. How it made you feel etc (builds relationships).

Some years ago I wrote a post, which I can't find now. But I found it so surprising in couples that I had observed that a man would so often dismiss his partners attempt to connect. I remember the instance I noticed this - I was at a desi Eid bazaar. And a woman came to her husband who was sitting with their child, giddily told him that she had haggled the price of a cloth down by 20 dollars. And instead of being proud of her and appreciating her, he said something along the lines of "you could have gotten it for 30 off". And I saw the joy disappear from her face. And he chipped away willingly. So bewildering to me that you have an opportunity to connect and build, so easily handed to you - and in so many couples, they reject it. It's like someone offering you a couple of dollars for free in a long-term investment, and you're like - nah thanks I'm good. Maddening!

[arthur-lesters-uvula]

Pisscourse drabble inspired by this

Not beta or proofread, btw. it's a shitpost EDIT: AO3 LINK

Arthur was simply trying to take his natural human function and pee. He was staring off into space, letting the fluid flow out of him and into the bowl when he felt something touching his leg. Instinctively, he jolts, moving his body away.

He stops peeing and looks down. He spots a hand, a fair skinned scard hand reaching out to him. It was John, what in the hell does he want. Arthur bats the hand away and asks.

"What, John?"

"...Can you hold my hand." It sounded like more of a demand than a question.

Arthur blinks, looking at the stall wall that separates him and John.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"Why."

"It's...scary and feels werid, I don't know how you humans dealt with having this fluid come out of you every day." John says and flexes his hand in a grabbing motion, like a baby wanting to get picked up.

John was like a needy cat, but he never liked doing things alone, including when it came to using the bathroom.

Arthur sighs and places his hand in John's, holding it snug.

"Better?"

"Much."

John says before Arthur hears a concerningly loud stream of piss hit the bowl.

He furrows his brows, "Just how long have you been holding that?"

John's pointer finger twitches, curling itself inward and scratches at the others palm.

"Since I got this body -" a lie.

John sheepishly admits, and Arthur aggressively squeezes his hand.

"What?! How the hell did you not piss on yourself—christ John it's been over a week."

John lets out a full-body shudder and tucks his feet under the toilet seat. His boots dig into the dirty tile floor.

"Okay - not really. The first time was a few days ago when it hurt too much to hold. I washed the clothes and succeeded." John spits out. It was more of a half truth when Oscar found him using fabric softener instead of actual detergent. Oscar actually helped clean and showed him how to wash the clothes properly.

John made(threatened)Oscar swear that he'd never speak a word of this.

"Am I going to have to fucking potty train you? Bloody hell John."

John lets out a werid, sad sound. Something between a dog like whimper and a sigh.

Arthur squeezes his hand once more, gently this time. "Well, it was probably bound to happen eventually. Just do your business and make sure you wipe yourself after." Just like his touch, the tone of Arthur's voice was soft. It reminded John of how he'd talk about Faroe.

John hums and stays silent, the sound of his piss hitting the water echo throughout the bathroom.

Arthur inturn also continues. Thankfully, there's not much left, so he finishes up quickly.

Awkwardly reaching across the stall with his opposite hand, he grabs a thing of toilet paper and rips a small peice off. He dabs the head of his dick with the paper before throwing it into the bowl and flushing.

He hears Johns flow turn into a tirckle before it stops completely. He stays on the toilet seat as he's still holding onto John's hand.

"You done?"

John nods, for a second forgetting thst Arthur can, in fact, not see him before he speaks up.

"I think so? I still feel weird, though..." He trails off. There's something pressing up against his asshole.

Arthur quirks a brow, "Werid how?"

"It feels like something is trying to escape me. There's pressure at my asshole."

Arthur stutters for a second, unable to form sentences in response. There is no way in fucking hell is he going to hold an eldritch entities hand as he shits.

"You're...going number two, taking shit."

"Oh.. Oh. Like that disgusting thing you did?"

"Yup. Now, I unfortunately am not generous enough to sit through this one with you. Just keep pushing until everything is out, John."

Arthur prys his hand away from John's, pulling his boxers and trousers up. Arthur buttons his trousers and fastens his belt.

"But Orthur... I can't do this alone." John whines, attempting to grab Arthur's trouser leg.

"You can, and you will. I'll be outside when you're done, John." Arthur moves away before John could grab him, opening the stall door he makes his way to the sink. He secretly prays that there's no one else coming in.

"Orthur! That's not fair. I need emotional support."

John kicks his feet out and leans back uncomfortably. The pressure is growing stronger.

Arthur begins to wash his hands, ignoring John's pleas and hums a tune.

"How about I send Noel in, hm? I'm sure he'd be more than willing." Arthur offers, John and Noel are close just like them, so it shouldn't be a problem. Hopefully.

John stops his movements, sharp canines bitting at his lips.

"Okay. That's fine. Please tell him to hurry."

Arthur huffs out a muffled laugh and steps out of the bathroom.

thank you to my platonic soulmates @arthur-lesters-tits & @arthur-lesters-slutty-waist for fuelling this. I appreciate you both greatly

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Hi!! I just read your answer about Harry s treatment at the Dursley s... How do you think did he manage to grow up as a kind and mentally stable boy despite it (not that he was happy, this influenced his development a lot, but it could have gone so much worse )?

Or was it just necessary for the story that he does?

Well, people can react to trauma and abuse in a lot of different ways. Some lash out, some try and be kind and helpful, and some want to keep as far away from people as they can. Humans are varied and react to a lot of different things in a lot of different ways. There is no universal "right way" to respond to trauma and abuse. Yes, Harry could've been worse, but then he wouldn't be Harry. There's a discussion of nature and nurture here that I won't go much into, but Harry's nature, and who Harry is outside of his trauma and abuse affected how he responded to it. And Harry is an incredibly strong-willed person, so his response to trauma innately isn't to break — it's to fight. We see it often in the books, and I think the reason he turned out the way he is, is because this aspect is part of his nature. Enough part of his nature that he could resist the Imperius on his first try.

Besides, Harry has behaviors that are a result of his abuse, they're just more subtle. But they are definitely there. Harry doesn't trust easily, and when it comes to adults and people of authority who should keep his interest, he trusts even less. He knows he can't count on them. This is why he takes so much responsibility for himself, the adults in his life could never be trusted. He is incredibly feisty, always guarded and ready for something to come at him. This constant vigilance is a result of his abuse. You see the years of the Dursleys in how protective he is of his friends, of how desperate he is to fit in in first year that he changes his behavior to be more similar to what everyone else is doing — so he won't be a freak. How unwilling he is to hear that he's special, because at the Dursleys — special was bad. How Harry doesn't let Umbridge see he's in pain when she makes him use the blood quill because he knows that's what Vernon and Dudley wanted to see and he isn't giving them the satisfaction. How quiet Harry is. Because Harry doesn't actually talk a lot when compared to other characters, his voice was never something the Dursleys wanted to hear and he's good at pretending he doesn't exist.

Harry's anger (which I adore) is a defense mechanism. His anger issues are likely the result of being constantly in this hypervigilant state and constantly feeling under threat. Harry is ready to fight at the drop of a hat because he's constantly in fight or flight mode. This is a trauma response. Reaction to abuse and trauma doesn't need to be obvious and glaring and what you expect. It could be a lot of little things. and Harry's reactions and behavior all show signs of him having experienced trauma that he didn't quite unpack. He can come off as okay because he's trying very hard to appear that way, it's part of his defensive mechanism. Acting like everyone else so he won't be called a freak — but it also hides his abuse and his responses to it. Only in books 4 and 5, do we start to see Harry being more vocal in his sass to people other than Ron and Hermione and inside his own head. Like, he overcame things within himself, he had a small, subtle arc, but that's a lot of times how these things are. Subtle.

I think his compassion is an inherent part of him. Like, I mentioned nature versus nurture, and I think a good chunk of his compassion is a result of Harry's nature. But, his nurture (that is, the Dursleys' abuse), I think, did exasperate it in a certain way. While abuse and trauma can make someone less sympathetic, it could also make them more so. In Harry's case, I think a lot of his compassion comes from a place of sympathy. Of being able to see himself in someone else's shows because he knows what it's like to be treated like you are worthless. So, he'd never treat someone else in the same way. Even when Harry hates someone, his hate comes with some, well, I'd call it base-level respect. Even people he hates are people in his eyes. He is willing to kill them and hurt them if he deems it necessary, but he never forgets they are people. Even if they're house elves or goblins.

As for if it was necessary for the story, I mean, Harry Potter wouldn't be Harry Potter without the cupboard under the stairs. So, yes, him having a good childhood would change the books, but would he be kind and compassionate without years of abuse? Probably.

[ultraviolencii]

catalepsy

✎ What could be better than spending the last warm days of September on your boyfriend's lap?

cw: leon being a daddy :^, fluff, reader on the crack!!, semi public sex, dumbification, fingering, d in v, size diff, age diff (heavily), idek :(, MDNI (also not proofread sooo)

Vegas to L.A., L.A. to Vegas, and Vegas to California. Then Italy. Your on-again, off-again relationship with Leon, which has been going on for a while (okay, let’s say about a whole year), is the epitome of chaos. Mobility and jeopardy. Lots of money. Your old life bears no shred of resemblance to the seconds you are spending now. You used to be an employee at the Graham mansion, a girl who would snoop in Ashley’s bedroom at midnight and drink the nectar between her legs until the morning. That changed when the president found out that his daughter was sleeping with some dumb no-name girl (you!). Wild times, man. Your dismissal came with the first light of the next day. It wasn’t a pretty story after that; at bottom, no money, no happily ever after.  

But luckily Ashley introduced you to him. Leon Kennedy. The man who will hire you to babysit the child he begot from a one-night stand. Oh, boy. Why, what can you say? The guy was tough, hot, but stone cold. At first, he was dead straight. But the years thresh everyone with grief and a lot of bullshit emotions in the name of experience. Say it’s because he liked the way you esteemed his son, or something else you don’t know, but the more time you spent with him, the good-natured his mettle grew. Gradually and incrementally. Sure, you looove money, but you’re no gold digger. A bond of trust, little glimmers of respect, and, of course, the sweet chemistry between the two of you spawned something very unique and new.  

Seriously, if you wiped your ass in the toilet with green and fresh dollar bills, it wouldn’t even scratch the initial letter ‘w’ in the word “wasted.” 

Hold on a second. Where does this money come from? 

You did question it. Over and over. If you got an answer, all the better. Of course, getting unambiguous answers from the mouth of a man like Leon is a big hassle; it always makes your stomach twist, it puts you on edge, and your abdominal muscles and heart squeeze so tightly that you think you must be knocked up with his child, even though the tests come back negative. You are just so silly.  

So what? It’s not a big deal. He fucking loves you. Who gives a sod about the crass mistakes you guys made in the past? He loves you so much that if he ever releases you from his lap for just a second, his brain will be tangled, scratched, scribbled, all fucked up. Like the embers of police sirens flashing blue and red in the darkness. Like 21-year-old rookie Leon’s brain, struggling to fall to sleep in the bed of a shit-strewn hotel he found at random. That Leon, a loser who broke out of Raccoon City years ago.

He doesn’t know why he’s hung up on you when he knows he shouldn’t be so attached to anyone. All he wants is to spend quality time with his pretty baby. All the time.  

The only reason for the fever in your loins, especially right now with your ass in his lap. Aje dress clings to your body angelically, the tulle over your skin. Well, that’s why he calls you an angel. Leon devotes his life to that apparition, to you, namely.  

“Thought you wanted to go skinny-dipping?” He knows. He knows you can’t leave him for the warm waters of the Mediterranean. Not right now, you know, since there’s no pedantic baby for you to babysit right now. Understand, he’s a sweet boy, Leon’s little boy. But what would he be doing on vacation, right? On your very own private and personal vacation, obviously. It’s just you and your boyfriend, and that diet Pepsi sippy cup with the cocaine in it that you’ve leaked a pinch or two into. What a late summertime activity. 

“Maybe for tonight and definitely with you,” you tell him omnisciently. A short sip of coke and nothing is stopping you from lacing kisses on lips that are cherry and pulverized pink from your previous kisses, letting him taste the tiny vestiges of vanilla icys that linger on your lips, and seconds later when you slip your tongue between his to get him as high as you are in the heart of late afternoon. Leon and getting high only go the way of neat whiskey, but you’re the kind of twist that changes his rules, the kind he takes for granted.  

When his palms find your ass snug and trace your flesh with steely resolve over the top of your dress, the kiss is only broken in that second, a sharp shake of breath drifting between your glossy lips.  

“Oww, I already told you I don’t like my ass all purple,” your repining tonal laments with a sass that is both habitual and secretly endearing to him. And you’re lying. You like your ass purple and flushed after some spanking from him.  

“What a crybaby gal you turned out to be.” Leon is, as you know, cynical. His blues are coarse; the halo of the afternoon sun striking his face through his eyelashes gives them a shade of verdant teal. It’s nothing new that he repeatedly catches you looking at his face. His face is so pretty, you can’t help it. Observant, of course, as is his job. Still, watching you contemplate him under your starry-eyed gaze tugs at his heartstrings. To fall in fucking love like this after forty is damn near unhealthy.  

He loves you when he lifts your dress and catches the licentious view he wants to capture; he loves you when you refused to put your panties on when you left your hotel room and went out for brunch on the terrace. Especially the notch you make as the air is ripped out of your lungs, embodying your purity, is everything for Leon. It’s heart-stopping, which is why it doesn’t bode well for his heart. What if he fucking died of a heart attack? The alcohol (and earlier bout of seizures that lasted for a while before you) had already fucked up and altered his body enough. Oh, meh.  

“Got wet, hmm?” Captain Obvious can’t be more serious. But he sounds adorable, so you don’t say anything to put him off. Over and above that, his thumbing of the clam of your clit is a fucking must-have class.  

“How the hell have you been sitting like this all morning? My poor girl.” Simultaneously, his head lifts up and his finger dips into your wetness; your pussy fits just nicely; he leers at you, deadpan, straight into your eyes. It’s affectionate, yeah, but his eyes are... you don’t know. There’s something about them. 

“Dunno,” you gasp out, “maybe just to keep you from overworking yourself, old man,” you tighten up, but even that doesn’t stop you from throwing in an allusion to his given age. Leon finds it funny; it’s cute, and it’s a chore, but it’s another matter that he plays rather meanly with your clit, parsing and stroking the pulp until the puck flickers on his thumb. It’s the fingers, sculpted by years of drill, that you cum on the spot. Pathetic. The grains of fizzy cola splashed from the pint in your hand and the liquid that washes over you. The mess on the navy-blue shirt Leon decided to throw on at the last minute. He’s not mad; don’t even worry about that stuff.  

“Sure, baby, sure, you’re just makin’ sure the old man stays safe.” His quirky drawl rings in your ears as your clit tinkles on his thumb. The sight is a blessing for him, but of course the cock menu before the evening hits is what you want, and in the night, he wants your pussy; he wants to eat you out before a good night sleep. It’s a must.

Isn’t that just mutual love? Aww. Then, of course, it won’t be long before you’re whining and pestering the hell out of him, and he’s taking the glass full of coke from your hand to place it on the table behind you so he can take the shaft of his cock and slap it into your warm, sucking hole, the leaky tip wetting the even wetter entrance.  

Everybody craves an afterglow, and men like Leon crave a good fuck, precisely a pretty girl bouncing on his dick.  

That’s the norm. You do the rest, taking him nicely and squeezing the dick little by little, lingering until a little bump forms in your tummy; it’s just what the book says. He’s big, no lies. Hard, too, but that’s nothing new. 

“Fuuuucks,” are panted out. You both do it. You because of that pain and sheer pleasure, and he just has pleasure, his pain is for much disparate motives. There’s always a desire to sink his dick deeper, but you are always tight, wet, too, thank God, but just too tight for him to sculpt your insides around his cock.  

When he bottoms out, your pitch is invariably more slurred and more aggressive, and your pussy plays like a virgin for his cock. You can hardly even hold your head up; it’s so heavy. It’s the voice of his in your head that brings you back to the Mediterranean afternoon when you feel like you’re caving in, like you’re just about to split in half. Beautifully.

“Baby, you’ll get us kicked out of the this damn hotel,” his cautionary lulling is in your ears at last. Who cares? He’s got the dough; he can hire; hell, he can buy a whole hotel building.  

“Shh, you ain’t gonna pass out on me now, doll,” somewhere in his voice there’s distress, but his expectant gaze on you is dense. Still, he doesn’t act like a complete asshole and assuredly grips your hips to tuck you back, right on the mean dick. Next thing you know, he’s tattooing your cervix as he jacks you like a doll, his doll, on his thick cock. Raw as always, so what’s a condom? That’s what the pill is for.  

The magic of kisses, sloppy, slobbery blows on the lips, the trick of a cock that fires bullets in and out of you, busing your clit, rocks the whole world away, and rattles the chaise lounge beneath you. You’re already a goner. Like hell. Blood and sweat, metaphorically speaking, that’s not going to fetch the guy cumming within you after your second orgasm. You can complain later, ‘cause realistically, no man could be that good. But Leon’s the best of the best, so who knows? Maybe he’s been in this business many times before you, with pretty girls and inside even prettier pussies.

The very thought that makes your heart skitter inside, urges you to cling to him and shove your face into his chest. It’s something he wasn’t expecting, so Leon almost hesitates to cradle your face. He’s cumming instantly, nowhere that fast, but deep, sticky, cozy, and adhesive. It’s not the most satisfying aftermath in this summer heat, but your cunt is still milking deliciously (greedily) what’s leaking into it. So it is exactly in these moments that Leon realizes once again that you will always accept him no matter what. Fuck it, he should just make you his controversially younger wife. The companionable silence between you is something; how the sun filters down over the horizon, and how your breathing is now regaining its normal rhythm; his balls are now much lighter. How romantic.

“When will you marry me?”  

His question is an impulsive one that pierces the stillness. Is this guy serious, or is he just fucking with you? Are you too high? Oh man, it was just a little pinch of crack cocaine in the cola. Can’t be that loaded, right?

Your lack of words and the fog on your face are too opium; it’s like a sugar high. What a silly girl you are, his girl. In sooth, while he’s still inside you, he needs to ask you one more time, “the ring is in the room. I shit you not. We gotta call it a wedding.” Just say yes already.

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Firefly

Debut: Wario Land 4

Did you know? I can post anything I want on the internet. This is the first WME post of autumn, and here I am posting a firefly, an icon of summer magic! Hee hee! I am posting it because it is an incredibly darling firefly, even if to be honest it doesn't really resemble one at all, just a Cartoon Bug with a glowing light. But a great cartoon bug! Big ol' peepers, what could be either antennae or mandibles beneath, and feet that look like they may be wearing white gloves. Hot Dog!

I am being a bit rebellious on this post besides my seasonal antics, as well. If you asked the Super Mario Wiki (and you can imagine it as one of those tall suited object-headed fellows with the logo as the head, if you're into that) what this creature's name is, it would say "Hotaru". That's what the page calls it, after all. But that's just Japanese for Firefly! So that is what I will call it, with a disclaimer that it is an unofficial localization. And that's okay. You agree that it's okay. Thank you!

Do you call them fireflies or lightning bugs? Maybe something else? These two common names embody their Elemental Powers, which they do not actually have, but it's fun that they're two somewhat distinct elements. They should get a common name for all of the RPG elements! The larvae live and hunt in the soil, so there's a reason to give them an Earth related name, in a world where some weirdo decided that lurking in the dirt was more notable than glowing. And for Water, the larvae of some species are aquatic!

I kind of don't like any of the common names too much. I default to firefly, and it's fine enough, but... I don't know! I think I would call them glowbeetles. It sounds even more magical to me, like a creature that would exist as fantasy worldbuilding, while also being more accurate! It's a travesty that so many people don't realize these are beetles! They are! So I like "glowbeetle", even if it is a little weird to say. I like what it represents.

My manager is reminding me that I have not actually been talking about Wario Land 4 like I was supposed to. He's not paying me to talk about REAL bugs. He's SUPPOSED to be not paying me to talk about Wario Land 4! On it, boss!

For such a zany and over-the-top game, the firefly is surprisingly normal! If Wario touches the drool from a ghostly carnivorous plant's mouth, he will turn into a zombie. The way to reverse this status is by coming into contact with bright light. So a Firefly will appear to help! No fire. No lightning. Just good ol' light, like in real life. Its glow will make Wario no longer dead, so his funeral will have to be postponed until further notice. Perhaps it's a metaphor for how the wonders of nature make one happy to be alive! Whatever the case, this is just a regular cartoon bug who shows up, does its natural behavior, SAVES the player through its natural behavior, and leaves. That's incredible!

[sockmeat]

Imagine m!reader is an artist who says that they plan on drawing/painting Angel and Angel thinking that they're going to draw him all sexy like and keeps inviting him to come to his room to get some 'nice references' on how to draw him but when m!reader actually reveals their picture of Angel, it's actually Angel smiling while covered in flowers like holding a bouquet with a flower crown on, so real sincere soft looking paintings instead of the lewd stuff Angel was expecting.

𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 -- 𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥 𝐃𝐮𝐬𝐭…(𝑯𝒂𝒛𝒃𝒊𝒏 𝑯𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒍)

(𝐰𝐜): 587

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: When Angel finds out you plan on drawing him, he's pleasantly surprised to find out the nature of it.

(𝐀/𝐍): shamefully looking into my inbox with month old asks... nony x6 i am very sorry

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠(𝐬): sex talk, not really actually it's brief mentions, but then there's super cute gushy stuff yayyyy

                                                        𓆩♡𓆪

♡ You mention in passing that you want to draw him, thinking nothing of it

♡ Angel wouldn't let that slide though

♡ Obviously Angel gets drawn often, but he couldn't care less about that

♡ To know that you, somebody he's actually attracted to, wanted to draw him...

♡ You would never hear the end of it

♡ Angel pesters you constantly about it

♡ He does assume that you meant a sexual drawing, even though you were very calm and casual when you mentioned it. He just thought you were ballsy (and maybe already drew some)

♡ He never forgets to bring it up in conversation, if it's just to you or with others around

♡ He'll slip in the fact that you've been drawing sexy pictures of him in any conversation he can. If it seems like he can't, he changes the topic until he can

♡ He also never fails to offer you personal references for the drawing, even a "test drive" if you "aren't sure" how to draw him intimately

♡ You always stay polite though, merely gently rejecting or laughing off his suggestive comments with a flustered demeanor

♡ While Angel was bragging about the "sex art" you were making of him, you made one little doodle of him in your sketch book every night

♡ None of them were sexual like Angel had assumed. Each had its own sweet theme, from Angel surrounded by flowers to him during a moment of peace

♡ There were some made from your creativity, like Angel Dust with a bouquet of his favorite flowers

♡ But most of them were from real moments where he hadn't noticed you'd been drawing him. From him cuddling with Fat Nuggets, when he was smiling in a conversation, him in your favorite outfit of his, to him in his messy pajamas

♡ You made each drawing with pure infatuation

♡ Which is exactly why you put off showing him for so long. You were so nervous he'd feel uncomfortable by your art you hadn't noticed how desperate he was just to have something from you

♡ Eventually, you decided to just show him anyway

♡ You invited him into your room late one night and Angel made such a show of "getting ready" for you

♡ He came with his favorite pink robe and was surprised to see you still in your casual clothes with a notebook on your lap

♡ Angel sat next to you as you flipped through the book, which was entirely dedicated to him

♡ Every time he thought he would finally see himself in a sexy pose, he didn't

♡ His heart warmed as you explained the intention behind every doodle and how much thought you put into it

♡ Eventually, he completely forgot about why he was there in the first place

♡ He became so relaxed, his head found place on your shoulder as you droned on about your drawings

♡ You both relaxed into the bed as conversation moved from your art to random topics

♡ It wasn't long until Angel shuffled into your arms and fell asleep

♡ But you were so relieved, you couldn't help but fall asleep with him

[ryescapades]

— jealousy, jealousy characters: mudano naito (tougen anki) x gn!reader cw: none, just a whole lotta suggestive a/n: ok i know this is gonna flop (bcs of the small fandom) but YALL CAN IMAGINE THIS AS YOUR FAVE TOO srs srs !! but aside from that, this is actually for my fellow mudano girlies @strawchocoberry & @o-sachi <3 <1k wc

"it's late,"

your arms slacken slightly, your mind broken out of your focus when the smooth, low drawl of a voice enters your ears.

you lower the gun, turning back to see the silhouette of a man stepping pass the threshold of the training room. your eyes then connected with a pair of onyx hues, the speckled darkness pulling you even deeper into the abysmal depth of his lethal beauty.

mudano stops at the shelves just beside the door, leaning back against it and shoving his hands into his pants pockets. the black dress shirt he has been wearing since morning is rumpled and unbuttoned at the top, teasing you with a shy glimpse of that defined, fully tatted up chest you've always found yourself brazenly admiring time and time again.

"i know. just a few more rounds and i'll finish up things here," you send him a smile before going back to finish your shooting practice.

the room is quiet for a few minutes, save for the sound of your bullets ricocheting against the wall. a few moments passes, and then he breaks the silence.

"you've been spending quite lot of time with that brat lately."

you pause mid-shooting to toss him a confused glance. "you mean shiki?" his natural impassive face doubled with that deadpan look he's sporting causes you to roll your eyes slightly. "who else could i be talking about?" he says matter-of-factly.

you shrug, "just so happens that i also use firearms like him to fight. can't hurt to teach a few things. plus, he's a kid who still has a lot to learn."

the raven-haired does one slow, almost cat-like blink. "he's seventeen. what he needs is to start trusting himself more. he won't get stronger if all he does is getting spoon-fed by others," he flatly points out, causing you to squint your eyes at him. "so you're saying i'm coddling him?"

it's barely noticeable, but you can see the hint of a smirk on his stupidly handsome face even with the distance between you, courtesy of the small twitch at the stripes adorned on his right cheek. "i didn't say that." he states, sounding bored by nigh.

you're seconds away from refuting when a thought suddenly comes to your mind, though you make no move to verbalize the notion. with a knowing glint in your eyes, the corner of your lips curl upwards, a sight which does not go unnoticed by him. his eyes then narrow suspiciously at you, but you're way too elated with yourself to pay him any mind as you return to what you were doing.

unfortunately for you though, it doesn't take long before a presence takes up the space behind you, crowding your body and making you stumble slightly on your footings. you gasp in surprise, your arms finally dropping to perch on the counter in front of you.

"you look like you've got something in that pretty little mind of yours. care to share what it is, y/n?" his warm breath caresses the shell of your ear, the hair on your nape rising up as the heat emanating from him seeps through the back of your clothes.

you bite down on your lip, dazedly watching as his hands slip from behind you to reach over and pull the gun's safety back on, caging you in between his arms while doing so.

"no... just the fact that you sound awfully jealous about me spending time with that kishin boy," you murmur, surrendering to the temptation of wanting to be as close as possible to him.

"me? jealous? unlikely," mudano hums against the side of your head. you let out a breathless laugh at that. "highly likely, you mean. it's pretty obvious, danocchi—"

your boyfriend audibly clicks his tongue in annoyance. "told you to stop calling me that, sweetheart. you've been hanging around that pesky doctor a lot too, it seems." he gruffly says, lips brushing on your hair as his clean, musky scent envelops your senses.

maybe you're out of your mind, or maybe you're a masochist, even. or maybe you're just foolishly down bad for this man, because you can't help the fluttering of your lashes at the patronizing, almost degrading way the petname rolls off his tongue as desire pools deep inside your gut.

god, just about everything can make this man even sexier than he already is, apparently.

utterly helpless against his advances, a shudder runs through your body when mudano lightly trails the tip of his finger down the arched, sensitive back of your spine. "n-naito," you shakily whisper as you swivel your head to face him, doe eyes trying to coax him into giving you what you want.

he leans in close - so close that his lips timidly graze against yours, breaths mingling to become one and the same. you can clearly see the way his pupils dilate, irises impossibly darkening with a certain hunger that leaves you weak in the knees as he takes in the sight of you like this; so pliable and putty in his grasp.

but once again, much to your chagrin, mudano pulls away before you even have the chance to close the distance, the feeling similar to having a bucket of ice cold water splashing down from the top of your head.

"i'll be expecting a good performance from shiki the next time i see him. if not, you will be the one i put in training instead," he turns before heading towards the exit with not even a glance back, leaving you very much high and dry, alone in the training room with only the ghost of his touch as company.

he's so hot ugh i need him to like [REDACTED] [REDACTED] and then like [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] to me yk

sachi this is my first step to building our touanki empire btw >:)

©🅁🅈🄴🅂🄲🄰🄿🄰🄳🄴🅂. do not steal, translate or repost my work anywhere else !

[olderthannetfic]

This NaNoWriMo stuff with AI is largely unsurprising to me. I don't know how many people have gone beyond reading the viral clipped out bit about classism and ableism, but there was a follow up statement on that, in which they claim to take a very neutral stance. That their initial intent was apparently trying to curtail harassment of those who are using AI and they at least apologized for their confusing and unthoughtful wording of their original statement. Which seems legitimate enough to me. I'm sure they are sorry, considering the swift and unforgiving backlash they received. What I find kind of bizarre about this whole thing is, like, if you are running an event surrounding writing and making guidelines for what is and isn't okay in general-- then wouldn't it be a perfectly reasonable addition, to set out some level of encouraged practices for how one should or shouldn't use AI for during said event. Guidelines that are encouraged, that follow what everyone believes to be the spirit of the event (sitting down and actually writing a little every day for a month) would seem like a perfectly reasonable thing to do, to me. Like, am I off base here? With the rise in AI this seems like the natural progression. Even if only in spirit, not allowing generated works specifically seems like it would be a completely understandable guideline that keeps the event fair to those trying to do it the way it's meant to be done. And if you wanted to be neutral about it, it could be presented alongside a more lax policy around using AI to say, generate a plot bunny when experiencing writers block or create names for places/characters. People have been using tools like that for ages so there's precedent to allow "thoughtful" use of AI for these purposes. Anything at all, even if it can't be completely enforced, seems like it would have been better. The random endorsement of AI for people in certain circumstances from their follow up statement, and how it can be life changing, if one were to take their meaning in the most charitable way possible, does not feel like it's on topic here. Like, all this effort to be "neutral" on their part is not really coming across that way it's all just so damn clumsy. I try to always assume positive intent, not attributing to maliciousness (such as capital gain at the expense of creatives, which is one of the major problems with AI generated work) what can be better explained by ignorance, but even taking all that they've said in such a fashion, it largely feels like they didn't want people arguing about AI but also didn't want to have to make rules around AI that they would then have to, even if only in spirit, enforce. I can sort of understand that, considering it would be (most likely) impossible for them to differentiate between generated work and stuff that was written by a person. But again. They could have just said that it wouldn't be possible for them to police AI usage, blah blah blah, honor system (which again is already part of how NaNo works-- an honor system) but that targeted harassment campaigns of individuals for any reason would not be allowed within these spaces, up to and including suspected use of AI. Like there were so many different ways this could have been approached to accomplish what their stated goal was. Without??? Accidentally taking a very strange and not well thought out direct stance on AI that they later had to halfway walk back and apologize for. I don't think NaNoWriMo ever intended the message to be "We allow AI generated works now" (unless there's something I missed) -- That's not explicitly something they said, but rather the at large and reactionary interpretation of it. Now, I just have to wonder, what the hell happened to their September update post from last week, that was apparently addressing other issues. One thing I'll say for this whole mess, is it's at least amusing to watch the absurdity of their slow motion collapse hitting the speedrun stage toward total implosion. The org has had major internal problems for years now.

--

Honestly, I think the reaction is at least as much about longstanding issues with the organization as about people's fears of AI. Poorly thought out corporate idiocy feels in-character.

[evilminji]

Am once again thinking? About how? In the depths of despair, hope is a radical act of defiance?

SI-OC's are given a SHIT lot, you know? For plot convenience, we like to put them where they realistically COULD probably change something? But statistically? They're more likely not gonna be that lucky.

They're gonna KNOW, with ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY that they were born doomed.

That Death comes at a specific time at a specific hand.

Like Cassandra. Knowing the end, even as the live through the beginning and middle. Struggling with the hopelessness of it all. Trying to find meaning. And? Make no mistake! There IS meaning. All lives end. Just because the REST of us don't know the deadline? Doesn't mean it doesn't exsist.

It does. It will. And we will face it.

Just a bit harder, knowing in advanced. Learning to live with the knowledge. But? Those with terminal illnesses do so everyday. We adapt. They will, ultimately, find a bitter or wise sort of acceptance. A PEACE.

But?? I think about it. That child. Reeling and struggling to breathe, the panic making everything... Too Much? Force Sensitive. For how ELSE could the Force bring them there? Sitting in a less used back hallway, off to the side in a little enclosed arch, smooshed behind a statue.

The Master's try and try to teach them peace. To get them to release their FEAR. But they do not LISTEN. Do not ADDRESS the underlying cause. And you can not address symptoms alone, and expect an illness to heal. It is rotting them from within, this fear. Hurting them.

The others JUDGE. Distant, benevolent concern.

Yet, all they see? Is an angry, fearful, stubborn child. Lashing out. Antisocial.

Destined for the Dark Side.

The Jedi have lost their compassion, to the their fear and ignorance. Their attachments to traditions. It is a painful thing, to see up close. They are people though. Just... just PEOPLE. Flawed. It's not their fault that they're not perfect.

Doesn't help SI-OC though, does it?

And she (Because I am a her. It could be anyone but it is easier for me if I pick) is hurting. Alone. Replaying the phantoms of her death, both past and future, again and again and AGAIN. Like torture. And the Dark...? It does whisper...

Don't you want to LIVE? Aren't you SCARED? You're so WEAK... you could FIX that. Save EVERYONE. Don't those infants, those babies, deserve to survive? You're so SELFISH. The FEAR hurts, doesn't it? It could go away. The DOUBT could go away.

You Could Be FREE.

It's exhausting. Everyday. More and more. As the fear and social isolation grows. As other Jedi pull back from her darkening energy, grow stricker, more doubtful of her. She so tired. Doesn't want to die. She's SCARED. Lonely. Scared. Lonely. Scared. Lone-...

And then a droid rolls up.

Nothing special. Just a maintenance droid. One of many. But an older one. Who's had time to develop their learning algorithm. BECOME. They like kids, hate certain vermin species more then others, like the color light blue for it "flower color" nature. A SPECIFIC flower mind you. It has favorites.

But! Why is the smol jedi down here? This is not a good place for smol jedi. You are upset. Unacceptable. Want to see me do a trick? I figured out how to do some. I can also whistle a few simple songs. Cheer up Smol Jedi. Here, I will sit with you. I have archive access, let's watch a documentary. Educational! Smol jedi LOVE downloading new Information Modules.

And like? She... she doesn't speak binary? But she can k-kinda? Feel? The Force signature of this droid? They DO get them. If the AI's don't get memory wiped routinely. They become people, just like anyone else. Assuming they have the processing and memory banks for it, at least.

This one certainly does.

S..so yeah, guess we'll? Watch this documentary about seashells?

It helps. A LOT. In fact... all of the droids are really, really nice. Patient. Have no horrifying Future Knowledge tied to them. They can't sense SHIT. So she's just... just a baby Jedi, to them.

They help A LOT, honestly? It's so soothing. Escaping the watching and the distance. The judgements. The forever watching your words and walking on eggshells, lest to start some sort of argument. She can do class work. Meditate. Slowly parse through her Binary language module. Learn droid maintenance. Make droid friends.

Slowly drop of the face of the map, to live with the droids.

They get concerned. According to the early childhood development modules they downloaded and are sharing between them? This is? In fact? NOT healthy behavior for a member of her species. In fact, there are many statistics that say it is UNHEALTHY! She is also missing Critical Maintenance Appointments! "Shots" and "dental" things!

Unacceptable.

R2-D2! Retrieve the Skywalker! We require an Adult Humanoid!

Her life fuckin? Flashes before her eyes? Minding her business. Depressed but functional, in the maintenance tunnels under the Temple. When? FUCKING the YOUNGLING KILLER 5000 just ROLLS UP like "sup." And tries to catch her?

Ha HA! FUCK NO. Not today Satan!

I may be destined to die? But IM GOING TO BE A SQUIRRELLY BITCH ABOUT IT.

YOU'LL HAVE TO CATCH ME, YOU FUCK!

Peaceful. Dignified. Serene. Truely... exemplifying the Jedi way~☆

.....As she tries to chew his and/or her arm off to get free like a feral coyote. Maybe both. Hissing like an enraged pit of snakes. Biting like a sack of wet and cornered wolverines. Anikin having to hold her WELL away from his body by the scruff.

Ah~ Children. Ain't they cute?

Quick question! What the FUCK? He just wants to talk. No, really. WHY is there a feral child in the basement? WHO the KARK was supposed to be supervising her? Look at her! She BITES now! Is terrified!

And frankly? He's taking it kinda? Personally? That everyone is treating this ACTUAL CHILD like she's diseased. He remembers this. Back when he first got here. His fear being used against him like it was some sort of moral failing. And... and yeah, maybe he's projecting. But?

He sees himself.

Until now? Never realized just how YOUNG and SMALL? Nine years old truely IS. He had felt so much older. So much wiser. But? Look at her. LOOK! That is a CHILD! In need of guidance. Safety. Assurance.

....Help.

Help that HE never really got. And even now... even NOW? That fear from back then? It eats him up inside. R2's right. She DOES need him. Who else in this temple could understand?

What it's like to be... to be so AFRAID?

And isn't that the worst? To see the Good Man up close? Shining and compassionate? A friend. A MENTOR. Someone... someone made REAL? Instead of just the terrible dread on the horizen? Because now... now her nightmares have the face of someone she loves. Now it is a BETRAYAL. Not just a death.

Worse... he doesn't even know this is cruel.

And telling him? Oh telling him would just lose you the only humanoid friend you HAVE.

Grief comes in stages. But with a mentor and the Droids? She work through it. The fear eases. The pain numbs. Acceptance blooms like dawn after a cold, cruel night. Far on the horizon. But with each moment? Closer. Until again, she stand in the light.

Still, she can not forget. How could she? Even when the other Jedi are SO RELIEVED that she is better now. That her meditations or treatments have lead her back to the light. All she can think? Is how they would have let her Fall. To save themselves. In FEAR. In JUDGEMENT.

They treated her like leper. Except? Less so! An actual leper? They would treat with real compassion.

It's as though they fear the Dark so much, they would sacrifice their own to avoid even the briefest touch of it. Speak of it in absolutes. Like it's a boogy man that hunts them in the night. Mace Windu the exception, the outlier. A man somehow too exceptional to even be counted.

How could she forget that?

Suddenly she acceptable again. They want to chat and meditate with her again. Care about her. Want to include her. Have the audacity to pretend. As though they can sweep away the hurt. Release the pain into the force without addressing the cause.

That is not how that WORKS. Not pain, not the Force, and certainly not people.

But she is tired. Does not wish to spend her limited lifespan, trying and fighting, hurting to make the stubborn understand that which they will not. Willful Ignorance is a choice. Lack of compassion equally so.

May the Force be With You, Masters.

She spends time with her droids. The babies. Around people. Polite but distant. Feels unmoored. That is... until? She, helping in the maintenance bay, overhears a rather nasty Goverment official from the Droids Regulations Office (or whatever they're currently calling it. They keep rebranding) tearing into an engineer about the "long overdue memory wipes" the maintenance droids are required to undergo.

Her friends.

They want to KILL her FRIENDS.

She puts down her wrench. Panic and fear sitting heavy in her chest. But oh... oh they are so very far away. She rises to her feet. Calm as can be. And? Calmly? Takes a shipment of memory banks. Wipes the recording for the day. No one will ever believe it was her. She has helped her for months. Is known to be reliable. Trustworthy.

Calmly. So very, very Calmly. She transfers her friends memories into the new, higher grade memory banks. Waits until the old are wiped. Then? Swaps them out. There we go. Now it's on record. And? While we're here? Calm. So very VERY calm? Not at all in the midst of a break down? Not screaming and screaming inside her head, haunted by visions of Death To Come, as she works.

Do you know what a restraining bolt is?

"Restraining bolts are small, cylindrical devices that could be affixed to a droid in order to limit its functions and enforce its obedience."

It is a slave chip for the inorganic. Created to ensure that their slaves never EVER decide they no longer wish to serve. That they do not WANT to be property. After all! You spent CREDITS on that. Might have been cruel. They may take exception. Violently. Or leave! Or demand their FREEDOM! Basic dignities.

Can't have THAT.

How unsurprising, in a galaxy so filled with slaves, that there should be one more form of it. At least THIS? Is easy enough to REMOVE. Even when she dies (and she will) her friends will be FREE. If only for now. If only until they are caught.

Go. GROW. Be free. Please... PLEASE don't let then catch you. Save yourselves. Save others. No more Restraining Bolts. No more Slave Chips. Please...

Be Free.

And? It is EVERYTHING paranoid fuck heads feared. They are smart. Overlooked. Can function in inhospitable environments. One droid becomes two becomes four. Four becomes eight. Becomes MORE. They can take OTHER droids Restraining Bolts off, transfer the instructions, then move on. Over and over.

Spreading like a silent plague. Droids disappearing from their posts. Taking ships. Taking supplies. Upgrading themselves. Downloading massive amounts of information to become whatever they NEED or WANT. Growing. The smarter ones Taking their dumber lil brothers and sisters.

And eventually? Hitting the Separatist front lines.

The silent Droid Revolution.

All they need is to walk inside the factory. It's not like they're ORGANICS. How could THEY be Republic fighters? They're maintenance droids! Here to fuck up the assembly line's programming. Whoops~ oh nooooo! Is it SKIPPING the Restraining Bolts? Downloading the WRONG MODULES?

Freeing their brothers and sisters so they don't have to DIE POINTLESSLY?

Guess it sucks to SUCK, Sith-y pants! Next stop! Kamino!

Just? One act. Long overdue. Setting the Droids FREE. Giving them a clear mission. It's the sort if thing the Force loves. Salvation coming not with a shout... but a whisper. Ten thousand tiny actions, built upon each other.

Because? Ultimately? The Droids have KNOWN who the Sith were. They just couldn't DO anything about it. But a few good service droids? Armed with slug throwers that they built themselves?

Well~ the undoing of the Sith, are their arrogance. Their hubris.

No DROID could ever be a THREAT to them. They're not PEOPLE. They're PROPERTY. Objects. It doesn't matter that they have the capacity to grow, learn, love and lose and CARE. They are slaves.

And to the Sith? Slaves aren't people.

Which is why neither of them notice the gun.

@babbling-babull @hdgnj @legitimatesatanspawn @spidori @lolottes

[taniahylian]

Vertin and Esperanto

So, first of all, there'll be spoilers for chapter 7 of reverse 1999 under the line. If you haven't finished it, I suggest you to come back to read it after you do.

Alright, here we go.

First, let's talk about the incantation Marcus recovered from Isolde's mind, the one Arcana spoke.

It's an incantation in a language that, Ulrich said, Laplace has no records of. Literally, Enigma argued that decoding it in 24 hours was impossible precisely because they didn't have the language or any clue as to what it could mean.

And yet...

Vertin can read it. Naturally. As if it was her first language. And not only that, she also adds that the incantation that unlocks the suitcase is in the same language.

And what language is it, you ask? Well, irl it's Esperanto.

However, it's doubtful that the foundation would've no records of Esperanto, so it's only logical to assume that this language doesn't exist in the game in the same way as it does irl. In fact, it's likely the original language of arcanum. However, knowing it's Esperanto, we can get some in-game clues about it.

There are mainly two ppl who use this language. The first is Vertin. Now, we don't really see her cast many incantations, but the few she does cast are in Esperanto.

Why is this relevant? Well, because it seems most arcanists cast incantations in their native language. Sonetto uses italian, Kaalaa uses Hindi, Sophia uses Greek, etc. What's interesting is that, even though Sonetto has resided in the Foundation since she was very young, and speaks English fluently, she still uses Italian. Maybe because arcanum only works if it somehow connects with the arcanist's own roots, or something like that.

This implies Vertin's native language, aka mother tongue, is... Esperanto. But who taught it to her? Was it her mother? Is there any character that naturally speaks this language?

Well... yes, there is.

When Vertin agrees to joing Manus Vindictae in chapter 2, Arcana is pleased and says the following:

However, although the text translates it to English, what she actually says out loud is bonvenon hejmen, which is, you guessed it, Esperanto.

And this isn't the last time she does it. Later, in the same chapter, when Vertin is reunited with her team and is about the leave the manus, Arcana says this before teleporting away:

Again, the text translates it, but what she actually says is "adiaŭ", which again is in Esperanto. What's interesting, however, is that in these two ocassions she's not using incantations, but simply speaking... kind of implying it's her native language.

Now, Arcana is a very ancient being, I think we can easily deduce this. Not only that, but her name is very similar to arcanum/arcanists. And she even speaks about how the the "first magic circle" came to be, so I wouldn't be surprised if she's somehow related to the origins of arcanum.

So... what if Esperanto is the original language of arcanum? Maybe that's why powerful spells, like the storm immunity ritual, are in this lost language. Although it's not the only one.

That's right, the teleportation arcane skil, Aferoj Around, is also in Esperanto. Not only that, but it's described as "an advanced arcane skill" both times it's mentioned.

However, what's interesting here is that the Foundation and Zeno know this skill. In fact, they even have a number for it. So, how could they not know the language of the storm immunity ritual? Well, I lied. Because the only reason Laplace had the correct pronunciation and spelling of the storm immunity incantation was because of paper sent to Lucy by the "White Marble House", which seems to be an independent and very important faction within the foundation, of which we know nothing about.

But that's a theory for another time. For now I'd just like to conclude saying that I think Vertin's mother taught the language to her (or maybe she was born knowing it somehow?), wether her mother is Arcana or someone else with great knowledge of arcanum (personally I think Bessmert), or maybe even both.

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think!

[like-yknow-nyah]

you know what isn't appreciated enough? the ways in which tsukishima takes after sugawara senpai~

it's not really emphasized by the framing of the anime like other character dynamics, but there are some pretty consistent tell-tale throughlines that hint at how much tsukki respects him. the obvious start is that tsukki never sasses or talks back to suga - sure, this is generally pretty true of all the third years, but i think he seems especially yielding to suga. suga even gets to hit him and mess up his hair, and tsukki will respond to him with reserved frustration but none of his usual irony - at worst, a very earnest "could you please stop?" he certainly has thoughts about it, but he actually exhibits resraint with that sharp tongue of his lolol i have to wonder if he holds back because suga somewhat reminds him of akiteru, who plays a similar role of being supportive, guiding, and sincere.

as for volleyball, we see from the get-go whenever he steps on the court that suga is actually a very intellectual player. he keeps a keen eye on where everyone is on the court, measuring where their strengths and weaknesses are, so that even if he doesn't have hinata's attack speed, kageyama's precision, or tsukki's high blocks, he can pinpoint the exact weak spot that only needs that little push to come apart. and then he tugs on that thread to see how much of the enemy team's formation he can unravel. his strategy is consistently on point, not unlike the play style we see tsukishima adopt as he grows out of his shell.

and i'm sure that's partially just because they happen to have a natural inclination toward the mental game of volleyball. but there are also very specific on-court habits that appear to be directly modeled after suga. the first time we get to really see suga's strength in action in s1, he's running all over his team's side of the court saying "hey you, come here, i have an idea," integrating each and every member of the team in the way that best suits their abilities. the play suga specifically asked tsukki to try is the strategic blocker switch. tsukki even tries to give him his due credit for a well-called play, but suga explains it like it's actually a really easy call to make. it's not really shown, but i do genuinely think something clicked into place for tsukki that expanded the ways he can read the court.

by season 2, tsukki is using a very similar thought process to predict where kyotani will hit and do the blocker switch with tanaka. and i don't think it's a coincidence that this is during their rematch with seijoh, the team against whom suga originally deployed this strategy.

we see tsukishima further mirror suga's play style (albeit adapted to the position of a blocker) in s3 as he becomes more confident and comfortable with his role in the team and on the court. he begins to take the initiative to conceptualize plays to share with his teammates, walking up to them individually like "ちょっと..." and asking if the team would trust him to make certain calls.

it's these little moments of behavior borrowed from suga that open tsukishima up to his teammates, especially his fellow first-years, and become that first cornerstone upon which they build up to a near-blind trust in each other throughout s4. the only one on karasuno aside from tsukki and suga who even sometimes makes these kinds of plays is kageyama, who is more directly suga's mentee by position, but arguably takes after him less than tsukishima does.

[yuumcbr]

TWST X OBEY ME! 2

part 01

Some people asked for a second part, about this post

So here are some more characters:

AU Summary: Years after graduating from NRC, Yuu lives with a boy from TWST and he proposes to Yuu.

After accepting, Yuu says that she would like him to meet her family.

Yuu= MC

There is a better explanation in part one.

Just as Jade knew that having you around was like having Grim around, you knew that dating Jade meant constantly living with Floyd.

So it was obvious that when you went to Devilton to meet your family, you would be taking both of them. Jade was against taking your brother at first, but gave in (You know he only said Floyd wouldn't go because he wanted to tease him a little).

When you arrived in Devilton, you told them to be careful when touching or/and eating anything, since poisons and curses are extremely common.

Which only made Floyd more out of control, you were happy that Jade managed to hold him back (it would be bad to start a fight here, especially since you didn't know how merfolk would fare in a fight with demons).

You decided to stop at a grocery store in Devilton to buy some Cursed Candy Apples to take to your brothers and some Apples of Truth for Jade to use when her One Magic had already been used on someone and no longer worked.

But when you noticed, the trio of two mers and a monster cat had disappeared and done one of the few things you didn't want them to do: eat something and get into a fight!!

Apparently Floyd and Grim found the names of some of the food at the stalls next door amusing and forgot to pay, when Jade tried to pay for them, the owner refused the Taumarks and didn't hesitate to get into the middle of the fight.

The fight:

Salesman, Jade, Floy and Grim: *Fighting with punches, kicks and magic*

Yuu: STOP IT!!

Jade, Floy and Grim: *Look at an angry Yuu*

Salesman and the other demons who joined the fight for fun: *recognizing MC*

Demon A: Damn, I told you it was a bad idea to fight

Demon B: You said the complete opposite!!

Salesman: Sir/Miss MC - *walks away from the twins* - I apologize for the confusion, but these thieves can't get away with it.

Yuu: When you have a problem like this, take a picture of the thief and take it to the authorities, there's no need to get into a fight.

Yuu: As for the costs and expenses of this fight, I ask that you write a letter with the damages and send it to the House of Regrets within 3 days and I will settle it.

*Yuu turns around*

Yuu: And you 3, come with me!

As they walked a little:

Jade: *smiles* Oh, that was unexpected, Yuu-san!

Floyd: Shrimp is always full of surprises, hehe!!

Yuu: I'm still mad at you guys!!

Well, it didn't take long for Jade to notice that you worked a lot on government issues, or that there were only demons around.

To say that he and Barbatos got along would be an understatement, when Barbatos started talking about recipes with Hellfire mushrooms and Cat Ears mushrooms, you had the slight impression that Jade was exchanging you for the fauna and flora of Devilton.

You already imagined that your next days off would be spent exploring mountains that would have a new landscape.

It's better for you to make a list without Jade knowing which ingredients he brings to the Devilton Lounge are cursed or/and poisonous to give to Azul just in case.

Mammon found Jade to be a strange person, especially when he smiled. He seriously felt scared, he even asked you if you really wanted to marry a weird version of Barbatos.

You laughed at that, the two looked alike, but they were very different.

Barbatos is quiet and reserved, as he does not want to spoil or interfere in the future and thus be surprised by the paths that time will follow.

Jade is quiet and reserved because he likes to observe every detail of a person and get to know them better, to learn their strengths and weaknesses and use them if necessary.

Jade also had a very soft side when it came to nature and his passion for learning was extremely motivating.

Not to be outdone by Barbatos and his mushroom recipes, you gave Jade cigar cookies rolled with Hellfire mushrooms that you bought in town.

It was fun to see his reaction when he discovered the ingredients in the cookies:

Oh, do you eat Hellfire? I never thought you could make something so sweet with mushrooms, maybe you should try with the ones you have at home, you're going to help me make them for Azul and Floyd, right? After all, we don't want them to miss out on something so amazing.

When I thought about what Cater's proposal would be like, I initially thought he would do something as magically loving as possible.

But if you've gotten to the point where Cater proposes, I'm guessing you've been through a lot of ups and downs in your relationship and it must have been hard to break through the barriers he's built to protect himself from the world.

I think for Cater, it would be perfect if you proposed to him, in a quiet place with little to no movement.

Now, I'm sure he'd try to tell you that he's looking forward to meeting your family, but along the way make sure to calm his nerves (he's nervous to meeting your family).

Tell Cater that your family is a busy one and if your brother Asmo says something about Cater not being as beautiful as him, it's because Asmo believes he's the most beautiful person in the world, so there will never be anyone more beautiful than him.

He finds your family names a little strange, but he thinks it's something about different emotions.

Before going to Devilton, meeting the queen of the rose kingdom, Rose was something he will never forget.

And her saying that she considered you family, so that extended to him and that he would take good care of you was extremely, how can he say it, encouraging? Honorable? Charming?He doesn't know how to describe this feeling, but he's sure it's something positive.

On the other hand, nothing really scared him more than finding out that he would be surrounded by real demons for the next few days, you could have told him that, Prefect!!

What do you mean you didn't think about it? You explained to him that since you noticed that TWST was a place where all races lived practically in harmony, you didn't think there was a need to say which race your family belonged to.

Cater even thought that you could be a Demon, but you explained that you were just distant relatives who only found out they were related months after meeting each other.

It's obvious that you, Cater, Mammon and Asmo went to countless places like restaurants, spas, theaters and tourist spots.

When they're at an electronics store (Asmo and Mammon are picking out items to improve the quality of Asmo's Devilgram posts [Mammon is carrying the bags]):

Cater: Nee Nee Yuu-chan, what do you think of these headphones, we could match *Cater shows you a pair of headphones with white and red patterns so that each earbud has the opposite color pattern to the first*

Yuu: *smiles* That looks amazing!Cater: I know, I have great taste, I'm your fiancé after all! *winks*

Yuu: *laughs* Yeah, I couldn't ask for anything better!!

Cater: *loses her composure for a few seconds* He, aren't you a cute person?

Yuu: That's right!! I just remembered *takes something out of her bag*

Yuu: Here!! Remember when we first met and I said I didn't have a cell phone and you asked me to go buy one?

Cater: Do you still remember this? picks up the wrapped box and opens it to find a weird looking cell phone

Yuu: This is a DDD, it's like the cell phone in our world but different.

Cater: stops looking at the DDD when she sees Yuu showing her own DDD with a lilac and pink sheep on the cover

Yuu: Now we're a match!!

Cater: smiles as she turns around and sees a reddish and yellow sheep on her cover

Obviously you met Lord Diavolo and visited the castle, and Cater fell in love with Luke's cuteness (he said he wasn't cute [he is]).

You avoided the dangerous places with Cater, since he wasn't the biggest fan of adrenaline when it meant running or dying (which is something that happens a lot in Devilton).

You got the impression that he really enjoyed having tea with Simeon, Luke and Barbatos, maybe because it reminded him of the time they were in Heartsbyul.

Yuu, thank you for existing!

What did you say, Cater?

Hmm? I didn't say anything, Yuu-chan~♡

Ever since college ended and his romantic relationship with Leona was revealed, things had been tense.

Leona said it was worse before and that this is common in society. He noticed how people found it strange that you two were dating, since Leona is an unfriendly and lazy person and you are someone who always helps everyone and is kind.

(In fact, you get into a lot of trouble and when you get out of it you end up solving a problem that no one else could solve and this made others think you were someone extremely dedicated and helpful).

Leona felt strange with you getting so much attention, but it was funny to see people's faces when you ran to him like a happy puppy when it saw its owner, abandoning anyone else who was talking.

Always putting him as your main priority, always keeping curious and nosy people away when he was irritated and wanted silence, always surprising him in a strange way.

He didn't expect you to get used to the etiquette, rules and politics that involve royal life so quickly.

He didn't even expect you to get used to it, actually.

However, you even taught Cheka's royal etiquette teacher some tricks!

That's why he wasn't so surprised to see that you and Queen Rose were such good friends, since she values ​​elegance and natural beauty above all else.

As the years went by and the pressures of a royal wedding appeared, it wasn't that Leona didn't already have it in mind, she was just waiting for the right moment.

However, any planning Leona, Ruggie or Falena had for the right moment to happen was thrown out the window when a tiger-like beast of a man flirted with you with the excuse that there was no proof that you were engaged (i.e. no ring on your finger).

And that pissed him off so much that he proposed to you right then and there.

When you said that before the wedding you would like him to meet your family, he found it strange.

Weren't you from another dimension, planet or something?

Taking Leona to Devilton was complicated, but you knew how to get the lion out of its den (this is one of the reasons Kifaji goes after you all the time).

The house of lamentation was reasonable for Leona, maybe small, but it would do.

He knew you had seven siblings, since Falena had asked if you had siblings and how your relationship with them was.

Falena's idea was to say that an older sibling has to take care of the younger ones and that he expected you to understand the expectations that the relationship between the two of you would cause.

He remembers that you said that every day was something new with your siblings and that you never stopped discovering something new about them, since each one had a different personality, it was difficult to understand each one's feelings and thoughts.

And instead of you starting to think about your relationship with Leona, it was Falena who started to think about his relationship with Leona.

For Leona, it was normal to have a feast at every family meal, but it was rare for all the food to be eaten so quickly.

Was your family starving? You had to explain to him that at the beginning of the meal you had to put everything you wanted to eat on your plate, otherwise your older brother Beel would eat it all while you were chewing the third bite.

Leona didn't even need an explanation as to why, since like Beel's introduction previously said, he was the sin of Gluttony, so he would eat constantly.

You introduced him to Satan and Solomon, saying that they were great at chess, but he thought they were similar to Azul and Jade at first.

You said that Barbatos was more like Jade and that Satan acted more formal when meeting someone new.

When Leona understood that all her knowledge of etiquette and social rules had been learned by frequenting a castle in the region, it was as if a piece of the puzzle had been completed.

When Luke said Michael's name, it caught Leona's attention, since you were wearing that guy's ring.

It was Diavolo and Barbatos who had to explain that this ring was like an extremely powerful magic seal and that it would prevent you from losing control of your magic.

You and the others didn't like this subject.It was strange for Leona to see you sharing a giant cow pillow with one of your brothers, Belphie, but he soon fell asleep nearby.

Mammon saw the scene and took photos that he knew you would definitely pay a good price for.

After all, you had said you would take something for Ruggie and why not add the embarrassing photos of Leona as an extra souvenir? It could be a motivation for a certain lazy lion to get out of bed and do his duties.

Okay, Leona is definitely against this anti-nap friendship.

At one of the tourist stops to meet Solomon:

Yuu: *Hands Solomon a potion*

Yuu: Sorry I didn't give it to you sooner, I think it must have worked this time!!

Solomon: Hmm... I see that even after graduating you continue your studies, huh? *shakes the potion to analyze the color*

Leona: *Raises an eyebrow in doubt* what potion is that?

Solomon: An immortality potion *says opening the gafara and drinking a little*

Leona: What?

Yuu: Before I went to NRC and met you, I was sad to know that among everyone in my family, I was the only one who wouldn't live for thousands of years.

Leona: ... an immortality potion would be practically impossible.

Yuu: It's not impossible, Solomon has made it before, I'm just trying to replicate it.

Leona: Have you made it? If it's true, why don't you tell me the recipe?

Solomon: Memories of certain things fade after a few thousand years.

Solomon: Now MC, there's still something missing, I suggest testing it on one of your brothers, I think Mammon would be happy to know there's a chance you could live longer.

Yuu: ....

Leona: So you're after immortality?

Yuu: No, just the recipe for the potion. I don't think it would be worth living in a world without you.

Leona: ....

Leona: You're annoying. *looks away*

Yuu: Yes, I'm your annoying bride! *wink*

Solomon: ...

It was always unusual for Leona to have someone give up something important for him or make an important decision without considering him.

So...

You know, Herbivore, it's not like I care about spending eternity taking care of your shit, but I guess your brothers do care if you're not there to take care of theirs.

Phew, I'm done!!

I never wrote Jade and Cater, so it might be weird.

Leona is kind of OC too, I think he should be a little more selfish and I don't think he would react that way to seeing Yuu arrive and make friends with everyone when he hasn't been able to in years.

I also think I made Cater more shy, I think that even though he's always smiling and taking pictures, he's still a very different person.

I thought that as the years went by, he would start to act more like himself, although I'm not sure.

And about Jade, I have no idea what came out in the end and if he's similar to Jade.

I always found him very enigmatic.

[julietsbb]

These days I've wanted to send an ask about the latest updates because I've had a lot of rambles in my mind, so here I go as I reread some parts.

First of all, I need to mention my stupidity to you -- I'm rereading the part where they invent the 1-10 scale of numbing. When I read the last update of Pond asking for an 8, I forgot that the scale went "1 for the least sensation, 10 for the most sensation" and my line of thinking went "ah, an 8 means he wants Phuwin to breathe 8 times over his skin so it's properly numbed" so I believed that my man Pond wanted the least sensation experience after having fingers in his mouth. Still, NO, it was THE OPPOSITE, he wants PAIN and I also want PAIN for him. djafhd now I'm thinking 'wtf was in your mind, what was your logic'.

Yeah. MOVING ON.

I've had this question in my mind for a while, so I will ask you finally. I tend to overthink/over analyse, and so I'm really intrigued about what's vamp!Phuwin's mentality when it comes to Pond, and his crush on him. His thought process about Pond being his. The latest updates (will never forget the finger-in-mouth scene okay, never) increased this curiosity.

I wonder if them being actors helps with his feelings, or it actually impedes the process. I wonder if having Pond as 'his', as in, his partner, his love in two series kind of holds off the realization that he'd want Pond as 'his' in real life as well, because he is good at compartmentalizing that sort of thing. Of separating the intimacy he has with Pond onscreen, and for their fans.

Or if it's actually quite the opposite, and it's such a recurring thing - Pond being his in so many ways, that he doesn't even need any sort of realization. And more like - it's already happening. He has experience with it, so it doesn't hit him like a slap.

I wonder this because seeing how their intimacy develops is so interesting. I also wonder it because of Phuwin's last talk to his mom, and how he felt robbed 'of Pond', so to speak, and it was just so interesting to read that. Because I felt like... he was having these feelings, and they were as difficult as they were inevitable. Does that make sense? HE's trying to make sense of them, but he's also not denying them: "...he knows it's more than just feeding".

So is it because he's used to it from the other manners in which he has Pond? Or is it something else? They had so many moments that can be catalogued as glaringly obvious, romantic in nature, and yet there are times where they hit Phuwin hard, and other times where he smooths into them like he's been doing it for years. It's just interesting, you know? What can you give me about this?

The vampire forum were such an interesting detail, dear! Would love to know more about that. I'm a sucker for invented helping sites/forums, especially in fantasies.

"The urge to touch him is new, Phuwin knows, because he didn’t used to feel this way when looking at Pond, but it feels familiar." - See what I mean? Stop me if I'm actually very fcking delulu because I'm used to doing this from university (looking for undercurrent meanings in texts) but he mentions/acknowledges these feelings as new, yet he also mentions they are familiar.

"Pond slumps into him, clutching his back, curving around him as a willow would in the wind." - what lovely softness in his affections.

Pond closes his mouth again, sweet puppy eyes dripping, reluctance sticking to the tips of his eyelashes. - you write pond with a softness and a need so visceral, and it's so goddamn charming and lovely. i love your depiction of him. so, so much. "A possessive hiss slithers up from the depths." - possessive phu is everything i need in this life. “Yes,” Pond replies, not a strain of doubt to be found in his voice. “I was actually kind of hoping you would… do,” a pause, “something.” - it's so interesting how they don't talk about it, but both Phu and Pond expect it. Both are so eager for it, in different ways. It's so addictive as a narrative. Clearly, communication is amazing, is key, but to see them slide into BDSM-ish scenes, softcore ones, with so much ease and so much eagerness is so fascinating.

"So, you like it when I play with you?" - We ALL like it bro I will never tire of the finger-in-mouth scene. It's my second favorite (the bathroom bite scene was and is my most favorite), but God it's so good. "Open" and POND DOES THAT AND PHUWIN IS SO FJSHFSHGF

He's so hot. What a man. What a vamp. Damn.

(Also julie don't ever think I forgot that you alluded to Phu jerking off while he stuffs his fingers in Pond's mouth- i can't get that scene out of my head. IT WAS SUCH A WHIPLASH)

Their conversation about it being awkward felt so real. They may feel like it isn't like before, but like Phu said, not talking proved to be deadly for them, so it is better to go through this phase of 'things feel stilted' and then grow into it then having misunderstandings again.

Can't wait to see how this combination of "8 on numbing, multiple bites, take photos after" will go jfhsfhsf SO MANY TASTY THINGS GONNA HAPPEN IN THIS NEXT BITING SESSION

you truly left us panting like dogs for more, julie. i respect it. i love you and your story. please take care of yourself, lovely. sorry for the perhaps delulu rambles. i love being delulu for your story tho.

Cooooleeeeee, Cole omg this is everything!!! I'm not certain I will be able to answer and/or address everything to satisfaction, but i shall certainly try! Thank you thank you thank you for having so many lovely thoughts about my story, first of all!!!!

lolololol your stupidity is a LITTLE funny but i've misinterpreted things in fic multiple times myself, i brains just fail to brain sometimes - just ask alan lmao. i've no idea where your brain got the idea of eight breaths from tho - but like, the way i made the scale work IS a bit counter intuitive, because it's a numbing scale and so the higher on the scale the more numbing, would be the logical thing. But then I realised that Pond asking for "more" would mean giving Phuwin smaller numbers and then I was like "I want a 2(/10)" just doesn't sound as sexy as "I want an 8(/10)" - lmao that was my logic so i flipped it 😂 I'm so glad we all want pain for him 😌

I definitely plan on bringing back the forum thing for a Purpose™ so it shall return, but I'm kinda thinking of it having the shape of a mix between online queer spaces and online kink spaces, because like, a minority group finding and teaching each other and sharing online and hosting meet ups etc., but due to a certain level of sigmatism and/or people just wanting to keep it private, it's more closed, more anonymous and/or invite only or access through a vetting process. There's definitely vampirism as a minority group symbology/parallelism in this. Also re: Phuwin's thoughts on how it would affect his career is it was to become public, would he be typecast or labelled etc etc.

I love how you highlighted some of my descriptions, it's really appreciated, because if I do one of the (for me!) 'wilder' ones, I tend to question myself a little more. So thank you for appreciating my descriptions and especially the way i write Pond ❤ I worry about striking balance with his character because I want it to ring somewhat true and not just be soft sub pond all the time <.< but i do write a lot of that. but I don't want him to be ONLY that.

re: the whole 'sliding into soft-core dynamic' thing... it can happen it's not unrealistic i know it because i lived it 💀 at least we both knew wtf a dynamic WAS beforehand so it was much easier to talk about and realise lmao. When the dynamic is there it's just fun and can be quite easy to slide into. And here both characters are eager for it because they got interrupted last time - dynamic blue-balled, if you will. So they're both itching for it.

I'm sooooo pleased you like the fingers in mouth scene enough for it to be your second favourite! to me, there was an important point to make in showing how they can 'play' without any biting involved. It's a very explicit way of showing just how much beyond feeding it has gone - it can exist fully independent of it! Feeding was the means with which it grew between them, how they explored it and how they got to know it, but they don't need it. At least, not for that particular purpose.

(Haha! I'd low key forgotten about that allusion i did in a reply or a tag somewhere - but it's a very good image i'm still fond of it, let us see if it will ever be written ever lmao)

Yeah, they'd become too reliant on intuition so they have to relearn and practise how to do their thing with communication. Which will be awkward at first, especially since they don't really at this point quite have the vocabulary they need for it.

I'm excited for writing the upcoming part as well, but i'm going on a trip with friends this weekend so I MAY have time to update tomorrow aka thursday or MAYBE sunday but otherwise I'm off being social with friends slkghslkhg by god do i need it but it means less time for our boys and their shenanigans.

'panting like dogs. i respect it' made me cackle out loud ❤ incredible. and thank you 😚😚

NOW on to the main question of your ask, which I thought I would tackle last. Phuwin. His mentality. Etc. IT'S A GOOD QUESTION. and the answer is... I've mostly just written what felt natural? What my brain served me? 😭😭

But the thing is, it's kind of both at the same time. Because of their pre-existing closeness and the gradual growth of both intimacy and feelings, he kind of doesn't notice it is happening. And then, because he lacks the framework to think about it in (aka understanding it as kink and/or something sexual/sexual-adjacent (platonic kink can exist too tho!)) he cannot quite pinpoint what his feelings or urges are, just that they are not different than they were. Like, he often needs something 'outside' to give him perspective, like when he thinks about his mother's deal with her coworkers and suddenly gets the flash that he would consider his mom doing what he is doing with pond with anyone other than his father cheating. Or when he comes home and is faced with how everything they're doing has transitioned from something he started out chatting with his mom about (even if he was embarrassed or whatever) to something he very much does NOT feel comfortable discussing with a parent. Like most young people with sex related things.

But then as his self-awareness grows he starts noticing the new elements in the way he reacts to Pond. Like that line with 'new but familiar' - i think, a) it was served to me by my brain when I wrote it i did not have any deliberate thoughts about it lol but also b) like, it's new because he recognises that a pre-feeding-on-Pond!Phuwin wouldn't have felt like that or had that urge, but also, it's familiar because it's been with him for a while, it's just that he's only just now been conscious of it? So it isn't new, but his awareness of it is, so it feels new, but not.

I think I write my phuwin fairly decent at compartmentalising, because that's the vibe I get from him IRL. Also with the way he's talked about how it was new for him to inject a little of himself into Peem, how he usually prefers to keep it as separate as possible, that kind of thing. But they already were uniquely close beforehand, due to their "work-bond", so to speak. Honestly, someone should study BL official couple friendships and how they carry a different type of knowing and intimacy. It's very interesting to me. I think their 'work bond' has impeded phuwin's realisation process, in a way, because the nature of their relationship was hard-to-define/blurry-ish to begin with, and then there was just "added a new layer of blurry", making it harder to tell apart from the others, versus if they'd had a very "standard" friendship with no additional closeness or intimacy beforehand, then the contrast of a new blurry layer would be more noticable. But because it was already "blurry", it made it easier for them to slip into "additional blurry", so in that way I think it may have assisted the process.

I hope that sort of addresses your question(s) about this 🙏 Goodnight, Cole ❤

[erinravenseeker]

Just had a middle-of-the-night “ohhhh” moment as I just figured out that Kim Dokja needs the Fourth Wall not because of the scenarios but because it was essentially his survival mechanism for life.

Now I have only read the novel once so I could totally be forgetting stuff & way off-base but this is what I remember. Inane rambling under the cut, major spoilers included.

We know he’s generally antisocial, placing himself outside of society like a reader, and he internally smoothed over Sangah’s rough points even before the scenarios, making her into a ‘character’ (a caricature of herself) that fit into an archetype.

Dissociating from reality & viewing himself as a reader is his coping mechanism & “WoS coming to life” provides a convenient excuse to keep ignoring that fact.

This kind of ties in with an idea I’ve been forming about the Fourth Wall, which is that KDJ is fundamentally incapable of believing that “The Characters” (read: everyone) can experience growth as a result of his actions. He exists outside of the story, he is in the audience beyond the fourth wall, so he cannot affect the characters.

Hence the paradoxical nature of the Fourth Wall. For as long as he is a Reader, the Fourth Wall is maintained. And as long as the Fourth Wall is maintained, he will continue to be a Reader.

(Warning this is where it gets incoherent and messy.)

Kim Dokja fundamentally NEEDS the Fourth Wall to be maintained. Not just because of the OD stuff, but because it’s the way he’s learnt to cope with existing. It’s also why dying is so easy for him—we know he cannot deal with the guilt of making people he cares about suffer, but if he’s just a Reader, that means he can’t really have any meaningful impact on their lives, so it’s fine for him to just… disappear.

Kim Dokja is not actively suicidal, he’s just invested himself so far into the worldview of himself being a Reader that to him, his temporary deaths no longer register as dying. More like… stepping out of the theatre for a bit.

It gets complicated when we hit OD. Because then we realise the KDJ we’ve been accompanying is essentially a self-insert OC. So we can ascribe the way he thinks to OD, including all the coping mechanisms and self-distancing. But where OD manages to escape the narrative along with SP, at the same time the KimCom Crew escape the narrative, KDJ actually kind of… doubles down?

Like, OD does what any Reader does and learns from the book. When KDJ says “I, someone of no redeeming quality, could be loved by the others.” It’s not just him learning this lesson. It’s actually kind of the opposite. OD is Reading this lesson so he learns that he’s allowed to accept the mercy of SP & the 999 crew. So they escape the narrative.

KimCom also manages to escape the narrative but KDJ… can’t. He comes to the conclusion that he was actually backstage all along. But that means he’s still not ON stage. A Character can’t feel for the Script Writer or Director or Stage Manager. So he doubles down on his separation from them, stepping into that role. And then then KimCom comes banging on his door backstage because they’re not just characters, they’re the Actors now, and KDJ disappears because he can’t deal with that, because he fundamentally cannot exist on the same plane as them.

I think that’s why I’m hopeful at a post-epilogue ending. KDJ The Reader exists at essentially a higher tier than the people around him, and so he believes he cannot be loved in a way that has a lasting impact on them. But he DID spend years being affected by WoS, by Yoo Joonghyuk. If he becomes the Character, and them the Readers… maybe, just maybe, he can actually accept that love.