#but it also has sugar ? since it's a soda i guess

[mishkakagehishka]

Have you ever tried Clamato?

Idek what that is. Google says it's only distributed in the US, Canada and Mexico - I'm eastern euro

[clementianos-blog]

From the beginning, Tim and Steph had a kind of chemistry in their lack of chemistry. They were very different - backgrounds, perspectives, family influences, etc. About all they had in common was that they were only children with family troubles, but even those similarities were abundantly different once you scratched the surface even a tad.

But what I find interesting, and seriously questionable, is how their actual relationship comes about. Steph repeatedly makes choices that aren't the best while "trying to help" and Tim repeatedly has to correct her. He's more-or-less acting like a conscience to her. I guess you could look at this as being that strong part of Tim's personality that drives him to help others. It's why he's Robin. Unlike his predecessors (and successors), the main reason he became Robin was to help Batman; helping everyone else was a secondary (and Batman's primary). To Batman, Tim's Robin is the "I'll help you so you can help everyone else." It's ingrained into him to see the shortcomings of others and he intrinsically wants to help.

There are multiple moments in which Steph is ready to walk away from a lowlife thug who is vulnerably facing certain death - and Tim explains why they need to help. But that's a major theme in the Batman comics in general, so it doesn't really fit the bill of what we're talking about here in a way that is unique to Steph and Tim.

But this does:

Steph is willing to steal two Zesti sodas from a convenience store after she and Tim cleared out the bad guys. He sees no problem in taking the Zestis as long as they will be compensating the store for them rather than stealing. He probably thinks "we COULD go to another, open store, but I'd rather help this one out" or even "best to be seen as little as possible" etc. It doesn't really matter. What matters is that he anticipates that she's thinking about stealing them. He asks "this your treat?" to put the burden on her since she was the one who offered to pick them up.

This could also be his subtle and not-enough way of pushing the "this is not a date" vibes he's been lazily humming out at her lately. Which brings us to the scene that follows this directly:

Tim has been emotionally cheating on Ariana for quite some time, relying on Steph for the emotional pick-me-ups and help-me-outs as well as leading her on. He's reflected on this a few times and even tried to do something about it several times before this point. But here, he is pretty open about his resignation.

This is the kind of thing teens do a lot - really, everyone does it at some point or another. We redefine our understanding of the world, of our morals, of our personal resolve to suit what feels nice. Exactly this is why it's a very good piece of advice to write down your goals in distinct, objective terms and keep them visible to you when you make them. If you say you aren't eating sweets for a month, be specific about what that means. If sugar in your coffee is an allowance, then say so. If desserts, pastries, jams and jellies, and candy are not allowed, then say so. Without being specific... we start to think things like "Well, a blueberry muffin isn't really a sweet (even though this one is covered in sugar crystals and tastes sweeter than the candybar I had last month)."

I'm not really cheating on Ariana. I haven't held Steph's hand. I haven't kissed - er, I haven't intentionally kissed Steph.

The problem is often that we don't see the danger of this stage. Just like Steph saw no danger in stealing two Zestis from the convenience store, Tim sees no danger in letting Steph treat their outings as dates. It's just a buck. It's just a game. It's not serious. No one's getting hurt by it.

And this is a problem for the exact reason Tim gives Steph.

What Steph did was so small, so simple, and seemingly so harmless. The shopkeeper probably would have handed them a case of Zestis each for what they did. But the shopkeeper isn't there.

Steph has Tim here to help her understand why it's wrong to compromise even an inch of her integrity.

What Tim is doing is so much worse. SO much worse. There is no justification, no excuse, and no good reason other than "this makes me happy right now."

But unlike Steph, Tim doesn't have a... well... Tim to put it in perspective. To help him see why it's wrong. Why it starts like this, and soon he'll be bending all the rules.

Instead, Tim has a Steph who is the one dragging him into this quagmire where he's blatantly cheating on his girlfriend and cannot see it for what it is.

And yes, it's clear he can see that it's wrong - just like Steph knew that taking the sodas wasn't really right. But just like with the sodas, neither of them recognized the action for what it truly was: stealing/cheating. Once put into that context, Steph immediately pays. If it were simplified like that to Tim, he would cut it off. The end. No more. I'll either say goodbye to Ariana, or I'll say goodbye to Steph.

But he sees something else: he feels happiness, he sees two happy girls, and he thinks, "No one's getting hurt here. It's not really right but it's not like I'm, you know..."

It starts like that. And soon you're bending all the rules.

TimSteph has a lot of positive qualities to it, but the fact that Steph's a project of Tim's - to build into an upstanding citizen from the rough place she's been raised - means that he needs to stay in the role of her pillar of morality. If he doesn't, as we see, then he falls himself.

Tim managed to say no to the Zesti, but the apple was just too tempting.

[dollsonmain]

omg

Another chaotic day, but chaotic in a different way.

She added even more tasks to my morning which I don't appreciate. I already struggle to get anything done.

Right when I discovered that the reason the floor in the cooler has been sticky is because someone spilled a whole gallon of milk in there and never told anyone, which of course I was told to clean up because I work there, and it was horrible because it already was stinky and clumpy, and I only had like 20 minutes left before it was time to go, a customer dropped a Monster and it exploded covering two whole panels of products.

The milk spill was in THE most inconvenient place in that furniture will have to be moved, the 20 foot floor mat will have to be pulled out and hosed down, then let to dry, and I physically just fucking can't especially in only a half an hour.

And the Monster Mangler was so sorry. He was like "Um..... I'll pay for that uh..." and I was like "Nah, man, that sort of thing happens." He didn't break anything, he just made everything sticky.

Then she gave me Tasks and I tried to find the sausage patties, looked right at the box, and didn't see it because it was well past Eat Time but I didn't get eat time because I was only scheduled 5 hours today, and both my blood sugar and pressure were dropping and I saw something entirely different in that box. I saw bread rolls.

I'm actually still not convinced that box isn't full of bread rolls.

So I don't know.

And like... The whole cooler needs to be dumped out and hosed down. It's disgusting in there. There's stinky milk, there's mold, there's soda spilled, there's Monster...

And she's like Ok do Task when I had like 10 minutes left which is when I should be counting my drawer and doing my dishes, and Task, which I guess I'm the official sandwich maker now and I do not like that I hate making food and it's such a pain because I have to take the gloves on and off to ring up customers and I get stuck in the gloves because my hands sweat.

I think I need to take some simple cotton gloves to wear under the work gloves maybe. I do have a bunch of those somewhere.

And it's just the same shit you can buy at Walmart and put together yourself and you're just paying like 400%. Because I made it.

Like....

You get one sub roll, 3 thin slices of cheap turkey sandwich meat, and 2 slices of even cheaper American cheese for $5.

The "Cold Cut Sub" is literally a sub roll, 2 slices of Oscar Mayer Bologna, and 2 slices of American cheese.

...

And I just.... I hate making this shit.

But that's apparently my job, now, even though I didn't retake the food handler's course and didn't apply for sandwich lady.

It was already half an hour past when I was supposed to leave, and I still had to tally my drawer, which I couldn't because I couldn't count anymore, because the sugar.

And I also don't get to pee which is bad because of my kidneys. Which is isn't that I'm not allowed to go pee it's just that I don't get a chance. I'm the only one on the floor. So it'd been from about 5:30 since That Guy was able to drive me to work this morning, until like.... noon, until I got to pee and that didn't smell great which is a bad sign. I have to monitor the smell of my pee for kidney infection smells.

I'm chugging water rn to flush everything out.

And it EXTRA sucks because I wanted to go to town this weekend to go to Goodwill and get a keychain bracelet thing or a lanyard for the store key so I can better keep track of it until I give it back to Manager when she gets back from her trip week after next, but I can't do that because That Guy took the car for the weekend. He'll be home Sunday.

So.

I can't do that until Sunday evening or Monday after work at least.

I have fewer hours next week. I guess in case no one else is in the store to give me a chance to go eat at lunch time. Manager said her sister will try to be there when I get there in the morning but there's no guarantee, and the way she's setting things up it sounds like she half expects her sister to not show up at all. Their dad, the owner, tends to show up around my lunch time but doesn't get on the floor. He does admin stuff in the office while he has his breakfast.

Multiple of my fingernails split so I have to cut them all off again.

I'm so.

I'm

tired

[petitmimosa]

This or That Ask Game

Tagged by @alittlefrenchtree for an obscure reason. Should've made you guess what I was going to answer and you'd get one sugar per cup of tea for each one you got right.

Iced or hot coffee ☕

Why would you make me drink coffee in the first place? Why was coffee even discovered and who decided it was an acceptable beverage? If I have to make a choice, then iced and with a shit ton of sugar/chocolate/white chocolat syrup. You know Starbucks' white chocolate frappuccino? Very little coffee, lots of everything else.

Iced or hot tea 🍵

Why would you ice TEA? This is why the human race is doomed I'm telling you. Tea is to be served hot but never burnt so get that kettle off before it boils.

Lemonade or sweet tea 🍋

Sweet tea is an abomination. Why would you give me BAKING SODA TO DRINK? Ugh. Lemonade is alright if homemade by someone who's not addicted to sugar though.

Fruity or minty gum

Not allowed to chew gum anymore but I was more of a mint person. Fruity flavors were too chemical for my taste.

Pasta or potatoes

Niak. This is a hard one. Potatoes are fun and you can fry them and they're creatures of God but pastaaaaaa... Parmesan goes on pasta and for that reason only it gets my vote.

Olives or pickles

There are two things you need to know about me if we're gonna share food together: I will never, ever willingly consume olives and will have pickles with absolutely everything. The small ones though, cornichons. Not the gigantic ones people in America like to grow.

Rice or bread

Bread. Bread. BREAD.

Cookies or brownies

Brownies take too long to bake and you have more fun with cookies. Also, that's my cat's name and if I don't say cookies he will know tonight when I get home and he will bite me to punish me.

Handwritten or phone reminders-

That notes app is somewhere on my phone because I can't uninstall it. But I hate my handwriting with a passion so I just remember everything since I have an excellent memory.

Zip-up or pullover hoodie

I hate zip-ups, I look like a whale in them. And hoodies are COZYYYY.

Jeans or sweatpants

I look even more like a whale in sweatpants so I'll have to say jeans. But when I'm home I'm just wearing pjs.

Flip flops/thongs or slides

Both are evil so they can crawl back to where they belong. I'll sleep with socks (even thin) all year long. I'll take them off when we reach 40°.

Paperback or ebook

I use my kindle before bed but paperback all the way when you want to spend hours reading.

Enemies to lovers or FWB to lovers

Enemies to lovers all the way. The hatred, the tension, the angst, the oh, oh maybe I was wrong? the messy feelings, GIVE IT TO ME I'M READY.

One bed or fake dating

That one bed trope has been alive way too long and needs to be put to rest, pun very much intended.

Hurt/comfort or whump

Hurt/comfort. I'm all for angst but the heavy hurt usually deals with atrocities and, nope.

Mutual pining or amnesia

Amnesia! That's the kind of angst I like.

Canon compliant or AU

It depends on the ship. I usually prefer canon but there are some excellent AUs out there.

Soulmate or Sports AU

My issue with sports AU is that it's almost always about the characters in the sports world rather than the chosen sport itself. I end up frustrated with how poorly depicted the sport is or how irrelevant it is to have them in this world in the first place all.the.time. Like okay they're figure skaters but why would you have them do 3 triple lutzes in one program when it's not a thing and yolo spins without telling me if it's a flying sit spin or a back camel?

Celebrity AU or Coffeeshop AU

I may have outgrown the coffeeshop AU, so, celebrity.

One shot or long fic

Quality over quantity. Which isn't an answer but :D

Anyone who wants to answer this, have at it!

[kndrules]

You said your numbah 2 has drinking problems when older? What may that look like in action? And do any one else have problems like that? Very interesting hc

I don't remember the specifics of what you're referring to, but you're probably referring to a headcanon that my friend @eltube came up with and then I adopted it.

Which is basically that the addictions presented in canon should be considered seriously. With Hoagie, we see them openly struggle with substance abuse (chocolate sauce) and we also see them participate in the trade of another addictive substance (soda, which is a stand-in for alcohol). I don't know that I think Hoagie has an addiction to actual alcohol when they're an adult, but more of just that Hoagie is someone who does struggle with addiction in general.

When Hoagie is an adult, I think that will actually look more like when someone is a "recovered addict", which is a very specific thing. It's different than not being an addict at all. People I have known who struggled with substance abuse and have since gone clean described to me the way in which they STILL struggle with those urges, especially when times are hard. (and to be clear, since im on the subject, no one is a failure or a bad person if they relapse. addiction is not a moral issue.)

As for the second part of your question, does anyone else deal with similar things, yes: Abby. Again, this is a case where we kind of see hints of substance abuse in canon, with sugar in particular (op LICORICE is a great example). She seems like a "functional addict" in the show, but that's a phrase that I feel diminishes what that person is going through, so I don't like it but I don't know what else to call it. As she grows up, I imagine Abby also gets a handle on it like Hoagie does, but I don't think she'd ever quit sugar completely. That would make me sad, to be honest. Cuz while the addiction narrative does exist there, her love of sweets is such a fun interest and clearly makes her happy in ways that defy that narrative (because its not really one-to-one)

That's my thoughts on that, I guess!

[lsotp]

Okay okay okay.

Since you confirmed that yes, each individual has a certain scent that they can alter to suit a specific someone's taste, then I just gotta ask.

What are do the SkeleMen's scent smell like?

Could you also do for the Helvetica men too?

I got curious on how Whip (bless his innocent and adorable soul) would smell like. I guessing something smoky yet sweet at the same time.

I thought about it a long time ago and wrote em’ down!

Skeletons and their smells:

Sans- Vanilla and lavender

Papyrus- Oranges and jasmine

Blue- Freshly cut grass and clean air

Orange- Honey and sweet potatoes

Red- Campfire and burning wood

Edge- Carmel apples

Milord- Burning air before a heavy snow and mint.

Mutt- Forget-me-nots

G- Lemonade and Tea

Aster- Caramel and coffee

Mars- Fall leaves and rain

Jupiter- Summer rain and oak

Polaris- Grape soda and sherbet

Ursa- powdered sugar and cocoa

Buck- Clean linens. (Freshly washed sheets.)

Jett- Hot sea salt like smelling the ocean, but without the gross fish smell.

Whip- Watermelon and fire cracker smoke

Cobalt- freshly tilled farmland and Milo

Gaster- Black coffee

Swap- Pancakes

Fell- Cinnamon

Starlord- Strawberry candy

Swiff- orange and blue raspberry popsicle (he’s got an artificial scent to himself, not because the scent is fake, but due to his fake personality he puts on.)

I’d say they’re scents say stuff about them that sometimes isn’t carried over in appearance or personality.

[rodolfoparras]

Allow me to be robbed of that spark and stay in the dark, (I jest). I don't believe my taste in literature is fancy or anything, but I can see what you mean. 'Goodnight moon' by Margaret Wise Brown & illustrations by Clement Herd is a good one as well, (even if it's a children's book).

It does make sense that Dazai would seem misogynistic (writing wise, I'm not sure how he was a person), especially since in those times it was quite common, though that doesn't justify it or anything.

I agree in that sentiment, sadly the use of delicate subjects, such as c/sa even r*pe, has moreso been glorified in this time of age. I have yet to dive into any particular romantic novels, since some have quite..interesting covers, perse. Phycological ones however, are very intriguing, they provide a different outlook for the many views on life and other subjects. Sir Alec, is there a specific book you are fond of?

Likewise, even if some information may be useless at the time, who's to say it still will be in the near future? The carbon dioxide in the soda isn't disturbed so it doesn't air out, which normally causes the fizzing and flat flavor it leaves behind. I didn't know about the grass bit though, perhaps it has something to do with certain plant components mixing with the oxygen presumably makes that freshly cut grass smell linger in the air (just a guess though).

-Гора (I hope your anxieties have cooled down by now, take it easy Sir Alec.)

Oh I have not read that one but I can assure that some of the best literature I’ve read was meant for kids especially those that depict fantasy and detective themes!

Oh I love a man who can take a little criticism with grace! I’m not sure how he was as a person either but I’ve read/ heard some jarring snippets of his stories 😭

Oh I have to agree with you on that!! I have a distaste for romance novels who put real people on the covers 😭 also for book recs a really good one is the silent patient I enjoy it solely for the plot the writing as in grammar and such could’ve been better for such a highly praised book but the plot is neat!!

Sugar wym you’re not smart look at you describing the science behind my silly facts I am throughly impressed sir 🧎🏻‍♂️

And thank you sugar bee I’m feeling ok atm and I hope it stays that way for the rest of the day 🙏🏼

[haarute]

for the record as an American, candy corn is not only real but HIGHLY controversial as a candy. Most people either love it or hate it, but half the people who love it also admit that it’s terrible. It has a slightly strange texture and it mostly tastes like sugar. (I’m a love it but it sucks person and I’ll eat a giant bag of it and hate myself for doing so because it’s objectively horrible!) I don’t know if you have any similar candy where even the people who love it also hate it, but there you go. the candy corn lore. hope the “it’s objectively awful” knowledge helps with homestuck lore

oh yeah i've come to learn in the years since that it is in fact real and incredibly mediocre apparently. i'm guessing it's controversial because it's like the leftovers candy that you might be given against your will forcing you to have an opinion on them? but i don't know if i read that somewhere or just assumed that it was the case anyway thank you for your input! i too love unhealthy and objectively awful trash, so i would be delighted to try them out if i ever visit the US alongside a bunch of shitty sodas probably. i'm VERY curious about this texture thing you mentioned now honestly.

[doctor-cherrys-office]

Which boxer is the best patient of yours? Worst patient?

"Which one is my worst or best patient, well, aren't we getting to the nitty gritty"

"Let me get the worst out of the way first, to save me a headache and as to not ruin my day with unneeded angry. Soda has a match today and I already know I will be pissed at him"

"I feel like a few could tie for that place honestly. Like, speaking of Soda, SODA HIMSELF. The amount of times I had to scold him for drinking soda in the middle of a fight or how drinking so much could raise his blood sugar is insane. The fact the man's teeth haven't rotted away yet is a miracle! Then there's Don, don't get me wrong, I adore Don like the next person, but behind closed doors, he can be such a drama queen! He can be a gentleman next, but if I have to hear whining like a Spanish Soap Opera, i personally smothering him with a pillow. Then there is, ugh, Super Macho man."

"Maybe I'm biased since this man has hit on me so many times it took me literally snapping his wrist and threatening his ability to have children for him to stop it, but my god is he the worst! He's always on his phone, livestreaming to his fans, flashing a bright camera for selfies, bringing reporters into my office when that is AGAINST THE RULES. At least mine....But moving on, it has gotten the point I had to BAN him from my office. Bet everyone in the league thought it was gonna be Aran, but hell! At least Aran knows when to behave and not push his luck surprisingly! "

"But, switching subjects onto something nicer. The best patient among the boxers, I could honestly say is any of them, minus Macho Man. Yes I know a gripped about Don and Soda, but they have their moments of behaving too. I guess the best so far would be a tie between Von Kaiser and Bear Hugger. But, I would have to mainly say Von Kaiser. Maybe its his military background or his strict self, but he has never given me any problems. He shows me wear it hurts, reports what he can and lets me run test. He is also willing to let me do check-ups for upcoming matches, which is a blessing. I even got meet one his support pets during one of his check-ups."

"Overall, the boxers are a mix bag. Sometimes it depends solely on how their matches went, sometimes it can be outside forces. But I will openly admit, Vok Kaiser has been my best patient so far and I sometimes wish the others would follow his example, dear fucking god...."

[chaoticreation]

Online Shopping... or not.

So I think this is really important to share, for those who might not understand what it’s like to survive in a shitty area. I’m disabled. So this is what online shopping looks like when I’m snowed in, or if my vehicle is in the shop, or if I really just don’t have the energy to get out. We do not have public transit where I live, and taxis/ubers are unaffordable. I do not have someone in the community that can shop for me.

Some of these are things I currently need again, and some of these are things I buy frequently for survival. Honestly, I encourage you to reblog this to spread awareness. This is what it’s like in America now.

In stores, I buy GV pizza crust mix, for like $2. As you can see, it’s not even available in this list. But it’s $9 for Martha White (which sucks tbh. Always sticks,) and $12 + $10 for shipping, for betty crocker. That is OUTRAGEOUS. (I’m not looking for the GF so that’s like, out of the question in the first place.)

Disinfectants? Paper goods? Unavailable to ship. So I can’t clean my house, or dishes, but I also can’t buy disposable cups or plates. Go figure.

Easy carbs. As a person that’s frequently hypoglycemic, carbs are key to survival. Bread, bagels. They’re easy. Every last one is unavailable to ship.

So maybe I’ll try chips for carbs. That’s sustenance. Miserable sustenance, but susten- oh right. Unavailable to ship.

Other snacks. Let’s try other snacks. Hmmm… $17 for a jar of salsa I just paid $5 for in store. I think tf not. Beef stick? What’s that say? $155/lb? It’s almost $10 for that little bit. After other results, I’m kind of surprised it’s not $20 for a single stick.

Drinks. Let’s try drinks. Soda will give me sugar so I don’t die. But let’s see what’s actually available to ship. $18 for a 6 pack of sprite. $5 in store is pushing it, but $18?! You’re joking!

I have one bottle of water left. Hydration is important. It reduces the risk of blood clots, (and I have a blood clotting disorder,) and y’know, keeps me alive. But I can’t drink tap water. It makes me throw up. Same with certain brands of water. Poland Springs has been a pretty safe water for me to drink. Let me get some… or maybe not? Over $30 for a case of water? Guess I’ll dehydrate.

So let me get this straight; I can’t hydrate, I can’t get soda for sugar, I can’t get chips or snacks. I can’t even get bread to make pbj sandwiches. No bagels either. Or pizza crust mix, to even attempt to make my own bread or meal or anything. I can’t get dish soap to wash my dishes, but I can’t get paper plates or plastic cups. I can’t even get disinfectants to clean my house. Hell, I can’t even get tissues to blow my nose after crying from an extremely failed online shopping trip.

And Amazon isn’t any better when it comes to this.  

So what’s a guy to do when I’m snowed in? Or if I’m in too much pain to go shopping? Or if I have car troubles? We don’t have public transit in my area.

What am I supposed to do?! How is any of this okay?!

And you wanna know the worst part?

I was supposed to go shopping today, but I really just couldn’t function. I went out for dinner. It took me 4 hours to just manage to do that. My brakes felt a little off. A little clicky. It’s been really cold, and since this wasn’t consistent, I assumed it was just that. The cold. However, when I turned my car on after dinner, so I could go home, this is what I see. So I guess it’s a good thing I couldn’t manage to make myself drive 30 minutes from home for some groceries, but now I’m stuck without anything in the house.

So the reality of not having access to a vehicle is yet another issue I have to face. (ABS & ESC OFF lights, as well as speedometer temporarily not working) I don’t know what the problem is, if it’ll be covered, if I’ll be able to afford the repair, or how long it will take. @sydthetiel​ has a vet appointment on Tuesday. I couldn’t get shopping done. I need help taking the trash out. And now I may need to beg for a ride just to take my girl to the vet. I literally don’t have anything to drink, and I don’t have carbs, and I don’t know if my van is safe to drive.

2023 is off to a great start, huh? Now what?

[elvenbeard]

I'm late, heck, but for the detailed headcanon asks: 6, 12, 22, 35, and 45? 👀

Thanks so much for asking!! Never too late, I'm always here to talk about the boy :3

6. Eating habits and sample daily menu

V doesn't have the best eating habits tbh. When he's stressed he barely gets anything down, and the stress working at Araska brought with it only made that worse. Since he's usually out and about all day really, "lunch" is usually just whatever and whenever, usually from a vending machine or street food, despite him not being fond of either as much. Honestly, I see him as the kind of guy who probably makes it through the day fueled by energy drinks. He'll try to have something small for breakfast at least, at least a protein bar of sorts, or cereal (dry even, just to eat *something*). Dinner though then at least is usually a "proper" meal, something warm, something filling, doesn't need to be fancy (although being able to go to fancy restaurants regularly is one of the things he actually misses most about not working at Arasaka anymore during his first few months as a new merc).

Sample daily menu:

Breakfast: Coffee (with milk and sugar) & protein bar/ cereal/ toast with eggs (when it's a slow day with spare time in the morning)/ french toast or waffles on days "off" when there's time to go eat out somewhere that serves either

Lunch: varies wildly, sometimes also just nothing when it's a "one gig/ appointment after the other" kind of day; whatever he manages to get down in all the stress, and sometimes that's just soda or energy drinks or coffee and the like

Dinner: pizza, ramen, something warm and filling, can be streetfood, but ideally something a bit more high quality and tasty/ if he can afford it he'll go eat sushi somewhere nice

12. Favorite book genre?

I have to say I don't see him as much of an avid reader. To wind down he's more a "play a game/ listen to music/ watch TV" kind of person. Most of the books he has revolve around tech, maybe some history and culture stuff from all around the world. So I guess nonfiction as a whole as favourite genre? xD Maybe with a handful of scifi novels and spy thrillers thrown in, but they're in the minority.

22. Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?

Depending on how much time of nothing to do we're talking about here, he'd probably start planning out something interesting to do. An exciting vacation for example, a list of places he'd like to see and why, if we're talking a few hours at most. With more time (and post-Sun ending) he'd probably come up with a detailed plan on how to make the Afterlife run even more efficiently. He might request more than one piece of paper for this though.

35. What activities do they enjoy, but consider to be a waste of time?

Going shopping xD There is so many better ways to spend an afternoon, but in his mind it brings him back to simpler times, there's always new things to see, and, let's be honest, he just loves clothes a little too much.

45. Superstitions or views on the occult?

No views on the occult whatsoever. He indulges Misty with her tarot stuff because he likes her as a person and considers himself relatively open to new experiences. But it's probably as far as he'll ever venture down that path, and half of the time he's not quite sure what to make of anything Misty says. He's not a superstitious person, but he does believe in luck, and that sometimes it just plays a part in you ending up in the right place at the right time (or the wrong place at the wrong time, if you're unlucky).

[friedesgreatscythe]

cw: weight loss, weight discussion, diet

when i went for my physical last june, i weighed 203 pounds. i weighed myself yesterday, and i’m down to 178. that’s about... 25 pounds lost? i havent really changed much besides not eating meat, not having soy, and reducing gluten and fried (and frozen) foods. i dont have that much sugar either beyond the occasional super small can of soda, so i guess that helps. i definitely have disordered eating... or i eat disorderly... or whatever. but my appetite has always been strange. i eat when im hungry, and sometimes a day goes by when im not.

anyway, i’m happy that i’m dropping weight. it was scary seeing how big i got. if i can lose 25 more by december, i’ll be closer to my ideal weight (130). and then i can donate more clothes, since half my wardrobe will, once again, not fit.

not much else to say beyond that. researching mortuary science degrees. stressing about having no money. the loan i was close to paying off accepted my deferment, since my dad isn’t helping me with that anymore. my current smaller predicament is trying to come up with a name for this goddamn city in the krakrgaldr rewrite, and im having the worst fucking time in the world. most of my social interaction is with the people in my ffxiv FC, my therapist, and more often my parents, which is something i wouldn’t have guessed or expected even half a year ago.

i feel shitty sometimes, thinking that the only reason i had strife or pain when talking with my mom was because of me, because i was sick, and she wasn’t doing anything wrong, but that can’t be true. if we’re communicating better, or if i don’t experience--or notice--arguments, nor do i have to tell her that she’s hurting me or that she isn’t listening, it’s likely because i’ve developed a skill to protect me from getting to that point. i’m not blameless, but i’m also only one part of a toxic relationship with someone who is also very sick, someone who isn’t getting the help they need. if i’m not experiencing pain or spiraling into self-loathing/miserable lonesomeness as much anymore, it’s because therapy is working, because i’ve been internalizing and either consciously or subconsciously practicing the lessons i learn in therapy.

there’s still a long way to go--we still haven’t at all processed or even started to work on my intimacy issues and rape ptsd. but at least i’ve come this far.

[phychohex]

I met a vampire down in Santa Carla (chapter three)

I am now fully settled in having found my way around to life back in Santa Carla. The past month I have slowly made my room mine once again. The frame is the same only the fairy lights are replaced with new ones that actually work.  Two nightstands both black with neon green skulls all over them. One holding my medication and sleep stuff the other having random junk. I also finally have a desk that also acted as a makeshift vanity. The mirror that hung above has a black frame with some lights hot glued along the edges. The desk was black with the top having a leopard print design and the chair was a rolling one with a leopard print blanket on the back. My dresser was replaced by a big wardrobe which I painted black to match the nightstands. I also have a lamp in the corner of the room which I made myself using a prosthetic leg, an old tall lamp, and a leopard print lampshade. It was over by my makeshift reading nook where a hanging chair stayed along with a large corner shelf. When I switched to a wardrobe I was able to uncover the doors to the patio. I made sure to keep it up to my stepdad's standards. I used black curtains to cover the doors when I didn't want to go out. My bedding was now black with satin sheets and pillows. I'm not done with the room but it has only been a month. Using any tips and the money Steve didn't take to make it all done up. 

With Steve still not believing how much I make was now a blessing. I am rarely around him especially after we got into a fight and my mom tried to stop it from happening ending up with a broken arm. Begging me not to tell the truth to anyone and also feeling guilty I tend to stay in my room when I'm home. If I'm not at home I'm at work which was more bearable. Tyler was an asshole always having some shit to say under his breath. He mostly kept to himself so I do the same. It also doesn't help that no matter where I'm at the group of bikers seem to linger. Every night they were out on the boardwalk doing whatever they wanted as if they owned the place. I try to stay as far as I can they just leaked trouble. Somehow though they are always there. I get off work and they are at a store not too far away leaving as well. Getting gas well guess who just so happens to be getting gas too. I'm sure other people have the same kind of routine as me having recognized other people but they stood out like a sore thumb. The only real peace I seem to get is on Wednesdays when I go to the Shack for DND and band practice. 

We were rocky at the start having to refind our groove and style but once we did we didn't sound half bad. Again it's only for fun so we never take it seriously. If someone misses a note or Josh and I have voice cracking or sing misheard lyrics we just laugh it off. I also have my room at the shop just how I want it. I bought a CD player along with a CD book for people to choose from. Most of it is stuff I like but since not everyone shares my taste I also have other music. I also have a mini fridge where I offer free drinks. I offer soda, sweet tea, and water. I got a snack basket on top of it again free to those who need it. This is handy for people who don't take tattoos very well and have blood sugar problems. I find this tends to get me good tips which I use to buy more snacks. Setting up my area getting ready for my shift soothing through my CD book.

 I hear the bell alerting us we have a client looking to get something done. I didn't have any appointments for another couple of hours so unless Tyler gets to the counter first I am free. Sadly I didn't make it hearing him talking to whoever it was. "RORY" he shouted which was startling. I peek out and instantly get annoyed. Standing at the front talking to Tyler was the biker gang. I shake off whatever thoughts I have and make my way over. "This is David he is specially requesting you for his tattoo" the jealousy seeping out in his voice. 

"shouldn't a tattoo artist have tattoos" he questions getting a kick out of this. I lift my sleeve showing him my bat wrapped around my right wrist. "That's it" 

"no I have a bunch, I just so happen to be a lady who dresses modestly" I lean against the counter "Do you want a tattoo or not" I had to put on a tough face the last time we met I was too nervous. Drumming the counter standing up turning to his friends saying something. The other three leave and he turns back. "good what ya thinkin' on getting" 

"arm wrap, barbed wire?" I turn grabbing a big binder filled with regular tattoos that people tend to get flipping to the right page showing him the different kinds he could get. Looking through them before picking one he liked.

"Okay follow me and I'll get you set up" I take the page out and head to my room him following close behind. "just take a seat while I draw this up" I turn to the desk that was set up getting the stencil ready. "you have any music you prefer or if you want to talk we can. Help yourself to any drinks or snacks as well" 

"I'm good" I felt him right behind leaning over watching me.  With it done I turn around only to see he was still in his trench coat. 

"the jacket" I point. He nods taking it off wearing a black short-sleeved shirt. His arms weren't jacked but they had a nice tone his shoulders were broad and his shirt seemed tight against his chest. He sits down I put the stencil on and make sure it looks okay. "look in the mirror and see if you like it, if not I can change it" he gets up not really looking.

"little lower" I turn redoing the stencil and prepping his arm lowering the placement. Now liking the placement I finish getting him ready. 

"so any music" I offer one last time. 

"that's alright" I start trying to get into my headspace which clearly was going to be a bit hard. "where you from" 

"New Mexico" 

"What brings you to the murder capital" 

"it's complicated" I mutter glancing up his eyes never wondering. I go back to the tattoo hoping this won't be as antiganizing as I think it's going to be. "what about you" I ask trying to flip it to a different topic. I do this a lot letting the client talk about themselves and share their story. It was one of the things I enjoyed about this job. 

"complicated." Well, there goes that plan "We have a while we should swap stories" That was his motive. 

"Why do you want to know" I ask "What do you want to know" 

"I said I'd see you around, didn't I? Tell me whatever" 

"you hassle all your artists?" I joke reinking the needle

"Just the pretty ones" I look at him. 

I gasp "Don't let Tyler hear, it'll hurt his feelings that you think he isn't pretty" I playfully pout.

"so she can snap back here I was thinking you didn't have it in you" I roll my eyes." seriously though what about the murder capital that has attracted you here? One of those true crime junkies" 

"let's just say I grew up here then I left collected up some baggage and now I'm back" The silence was loud but I finally got the peace I wanted. I hyperfocus back on my task. I find myself playing stories in my head when I do. If someone is telling me their own I picture it if not I let the music guide my thoughts but silence. I hate that it gives me little to work with and my mind drifts to its own memories. It would be about the Dnd stuff or what I should've said in an argument when I was younger, but now my mind decided to bring memories of him back. The first time he cheated is now at my forefront. 

I came home late due to night classes. The house was pretty dull but I did hear moaning. Confused I go and see John having another girl in the bed. I lashed out asking what the fuck was going on. Who was this bitch laying in my bed with my guy? It didn't take much for him to throw me against the wall yelling for me to get the fuck out and slamming the door in my face. That was the first time he put his hands on me. I didn't talk to him for days no matter how much he tried. That didn't last long either tho because once he was done with it he yelled at me throwing himself to my feet gaslighting and guilt-tripping. I sit up looking at my work. 

It was good and I have most of the front done. "turn your arm please" I mutter. I didn't notice it but he was looking at me. His once sarcastic demeanor was gone as the tension thickened. I take a deep breath to gather myself.

"mind if we listened to something," he asks I nod agreeing to the break stopping the clock. I hand him the book "You pick" I shrug and put it back pressing play on the stereo. The misfits blasting and getting back to work humming along to the songs. It brought me out of that gutter I was in making my mood better. I put the finishing touches on cleaning up and sterilizing everything again. He looks at it in the mirror before going with me to pay.

"thank you for choosing me to give you a tattoo it was nice" I smile "I hope you enjoy it" he nods paying before leaving. I felt bad I must've made it awkward with my answer. I couldn't let it get to me though I had the appointment coming in any time now. 

A couple of days have gone by. Right now  I'm getting my nails done by Kayla. I promised I'd stop by yesterday so here we are. I'm getting acrylic nails in oval shape. With a clear coat and the tip being white with little cherries all over. "so what you doing after this" she asks

"Nothing, I got tonight off" I shrug "Probably just go home" 

"No shit" she smiles "let's go get drunk then" Now there was something I don't do. The few times I have in never ended well. John used to be a very touchy and angry drunk so I never really got into the whole party hard and drink your liver to death. 

"I don't know" I shake my head "I'm not a big drinker" 

"even better you can be the DD" I guess it wouldn't be too bad. Plus gave me a good reason not to go home. 

"Fine as long as it isn't a bar that's on the boardwalk" 

"what's wrong with the boardwalk" She looks up switching hands putting the one she currently was working on under the little light. 

"cause that biker gang will be hanging around"

"biker gang?  you mean the guys with the mullets so what"

"well yesterday the one with the trench coat ya'know the leader, he specifically requested I do a tattoo for him the other day. While doing it he started playing asking a thousand questions and after I told him why I moved it just got quiet and awkward" 

"damn what did you tell him" 

"not much I just said I left got baggage and now I was back. I wasn't about to trama dump on some random dude, especially not a client. Before this, though they just were always" She gives me a look smiling "What" 

"he might like you" she teases "or at least did before you scared him off" I didn't think of that. The thought of someone liking me was the farthest thing from my mind. After everything with John, the last thing I want is to jump into a different relationship, especially with someone I didn't know.

"I guess but that's kinda creepy no?" 

"yeah it is I mean he doesn't even know you or has talked to you" 

"Well," I draw out the word gaining me a quick lookup.

"go on" also draws out the last word ready for any information I have left out. 

"When I got done with my job interview I went to that little coffee shop. The one with all the books. Well he and his gang all burst in there like a bat out of hell and we made eye contact. I guess he took it as his cue and came over to where I was searching for a book. I was over by the horror section so way back in the corner. He grabbed the book I was looking at and held it above my head asking for my name. It was like I was in high school again I swear." 

"oh he definitely likes you" 

"so" I scuff "I'm not looking for a man anyways" 

"no, but a little fun wouldn't hurt if you know what I mean" 

" hell no" I laugh "Trust me that is the last thing I want" as she finishes up my set getting me checked out. "I'll wait for you at my car I'll take you to come get it tomorrow okay." 

"Okay, but we are going to Drunken Sailor" I give her the bitch really look. 

"that's on the boardwalk" 

"Oh come on Rory it will be okay pretty sure you scared him off anyway" I roll my eyes and get in the car and wait for her. She was right no guy wants to fuck around with some chick with tons of shit clouding her past. I guess that's a good thing because now I can have some girl time. After about an hour she comes out ready to go drinking. We drive up to the bar being very surprised. The atmosphere was almost club-like the music was loud but not so loud to where you couldn't hear the person standing next to you. There were people at the bar all young and ready for a party others were already drunk or tipsy dancing their hearts out. Kayla rushes to the bar pulling me along. "two shots please" the bartender looks at me nodding before making them. She takes both swinging them back. I look at the menu.

 "can I get a virgin strawberry daiquiri please" Going to make the drink Kayla groans. Tugging on my arm as some pop song plays. 

"Let's dance" she ushers I beg for her to wait up but she is already out and partying. once my drink came I joined dancing as well I could covering my drink. "put it down" I shook my head "Fine I need more anyways." after an hour or so sipping on my drink and her doing the same. Going back and forth on the dance floor I end up sitting alone at the bar while she dances her heart out. Keeping a close eye on her when the bartender comes over with a cocktail. 

"oh sorry I didn't order one" I smile 

"on the house" he smiled "sent by that gentleman over there" I looked up to see David looking right back at me. The smile on his face and a little wave let me know I didn't scare him off. I look at the cocktail and stop the bartender. 

"Can I get another virgin daiquiri please" 

"yeah want me to send it back." he offers. I glance over and shake my head. I get up gathering up the balls to go and sit with him. I sit down and stay silent not sure what to do now. 

"thank you" I smile "but I don't drink" I slide it over to him. 

"Cause of the baggage" he questions I look down all courage gone. 

"Look I don't know what you want but maybe next time you should start with hi how are you this evening." I get up ready to get my drink and leave. He stands up following me. 

"wait" he gets in front "I'm sorry let's start over okay?" he offers. I look debating on it I sigh and sit back down. He sits next to me before downing the drink he offered like it was nothing. I was taken aback by this usually those things are filled with alcohol. he notices me staring "What, you said you don't drink and I wasn't bout to let it go to waste" he leans against the bar. "so if you aren't here to drink then what are you here for" I look out and point to Kayla who was currently in a group circle dancing. "why not join" 

"cause I've had enough dancing for tonight" The bartender comes back with my drink I pay with a good tip. "before you start this is a virgin" I take a sip enjoying the slightly sour drink. 

"no that's a slushie" leaning into the whiskey. "so your friend is over there dancing all by herself while you sit at the bar?" 

"I might be a tad uptight, I don't make friends as easy as she does." 

"yeah I noticed" He jokes��

"Sorry bout that." 

"it's fine you have those guards up for a reason" he looks at his drink as if thinking.

"to be honest" I glance at my glass not sure why I wanted to open up. It isn't like I had a buzz, but he was easy to talk to. "they are kinda new. I didn't use to be this way." 

"you want to forget?" he leans in our eyes meet it was like I was falling under some sick spell. "even if it is for one night" I shake my head letting out a laugh. It sounded like one of those you hear in a movie when the character was trying to hold it together. 

"no, thank you. That's the last thing I need" I hold my glass tighter. "I'm kinda over being a toy" It was silent I had said too much. Starting to regret having come over and not just sending my drink back like any normal person.

"fair enough." he leans back taking another long sip of the whiskey from before. "how bout this, me and you go do something fun, no strings attached" I look at him confused. 

"why" 

"why not, got nothing else going on." with the idea not sounding too bad I'm about to answer when Kayla leans on me. 

"what ya doing" she hugs looking over at David. Turning to my ear she attempted to whisper "is this him" I felt my face become heated with embarrassment as a smirk was plastered on his face. 

"Kayla" I look at her "What are you doing" I try giving her a hint to not do whatever her drunk mind was telling her. 

"just checking in" she pouts and touches her forehead on mine. "is that him" I nod hoping the hint finally clicks. She looks at him looking up and down. "get it girl" Now fully embarrassed and ready to go crawl in a hole and die I stand up. 

"I think we should go" I help her standing up much to her protest. "excuse her she is very drunk" I apologise "Can we take a rain check" I ask he nods in agreement. I hand him my phone letting him put his number in my phone. As he hands it back looking up and down I rush her out saying bye. Once in the car we just sit there. 

"he was cute" She looked at me I looked back the laughter was too hard to hold back. 

"you are such a bitch" I laugh starting the car. 

"oh shut the fuck up you know you love me" I start the drive to the shack. Getting her in the door was easy. we sit on the couch with a random movie playing only for her to instantly fall asleep. I hear my phone ding looking to see a new number on my phone. 

[whoamiaga1n]

Great news, I just walked for 43 mins roughly while watching the first episode of GA. My mom got me two packs of water flavouring, which is awesome because I do have trouble drinking water. One has 5 calories per serving and the other 15, but that's okay, I guess. I work out while drinking them, so it helps to burn the calories I'm drinking, right? I'm gonna think of it tjsf way at least.

My mom also got me sugar-free sunkist, which are my fav soda usually, though I've never had the SF version before. 0 calories, though!

And to top things off, she got me some skin care stuff and the sugar-free sweetener!

I'm a little sore today, but I plan on not eating anything until dinner today. I don't know if I would consider this a fast since I have taken in some calories through my drink. I haven't eaten since last night, but I'm considering my 8:30 am wake up the start of my "fast"

[clipsie]

Sometimes I just want to scream

I think I'm stuck in my head right now so I just gotta get it out somewhere. There are many things in my life I am truly happy about. For example, my job is one. I greatly enjoy my job these days, I'm happy to be in the industry I am because I recognize, especially watching friends try to get jobs and fail, that I am extroadinarily lucky in that end.

God damn, though, so much more in my life in frustrating. I hate my living situation. I'll never be able to afford a home given the cost of living here. I just want to be able to have my own space. Feel comfortable in a space but I doubt I ever will unless I live alone.

That makes the other part frustrating. I always feel hopelessly alone. I have good friends, I know this, and I am thankful for them. Hell, I just went to Portugal last month with a friend I haven't seen since 2017. Despite all this and having a family that will have an hour long call with me on a whim, I just feel so alone. I think part of this is making it to 35 and never having been in a relationship of any sort. Add that to the fact I find it very difficult to open up completely to people. There are bits and pieces I doubt people I hold dear will ever know about for one reason or another. Don't get me wrong, I had an opportunity for a long distance not too long ago but the idea and logistics terrifies me (plus I just didn't feel that way about them in the end though I worry I handled that badly).

Then there is my health. I don't have the best health and I'm a recently found out about diabetic, which is fine. It's already hard enough for me to understand when I need help and accept it. Hell, I have to be on medication so I don't get migraines already (though some break through), which! Symptoms of low blood sugar are wildly similar to migraine symptoms. Do I know where the diabetes came from? I know most people would blame my lifestyle and how much I weighed but I doubt that's all the reasons. I'm not genetically inclined as far as I am aware, either. Maybe it's stuff from the past few years but I also was maybe in this road my whole fucking life and getting Covid in 2022 probably set the ball properly running, that and losing my appendix in 2020 after having unknown about appendicitis the year before (I only know because of how bad my appendix was the second round and the symptoms being THE SAME). Should note, I've never been an inactive person despite my genetic predisposition to being overweight. But, man, I've found having it so weirdly isolating? I'm really feeling it today. I guess I could become friends with others in the same situation but I'd hate it? I don't know how to describe it but I'd fucking hate it. I just want to silently chug along with my fucked up body that has been trying to creatively end me since I was a wee baby through the strangest of methods.

I just feel lonely today. May delete later.

Also, I tend to just chug along alone or wiyh a few people in my fandom life, soooo. Though I am volunteering at the anime con next month.

Also, I fucking hate salad and miss soda. I've already found a snack to replace ice cream (not that I ate it much) and I still hate most desserts and candy anyway. Salad, though, the dressings are all terrible.

[timeoverload]

I am so worn out. It felt like a really long day. I have had a headache since I went to bed last night. I couldn't take anything for it because I have my appointment tomorrow. Hopefully it goes away before then.

This morning was very awkward because the morning team lead and I still aren't talking. I do enjoy the silence but it is a very tense environment to be in. I haven't been in this situation since I started there. The lady that trained me was not very nice but we got along ok for a while. One day she found out what the last 3 digits of my phone number were and she thought I was the devil. She ignored me for months because of that. It was ridiculous and I think that's a stupid reason not to talk to someone. Anyway, I also found out that he isn't planning on going anywhere so that sucks. He went to ask my boss if he would be able to take 3 weeks off for his wedding next year. I already know that I am not going to have a good time if I stick around.

I was annoyed earlier while I was in decontam washing a pan because that creepy guy was doing his decontam shift and he wouldn't stop talking to me. He was trying to convince me to go bowling with him. I am not going to do that and I wish he would stop calling me his friend. I'm only nice because I have to be professional. I don't know what else I would have done to give him that idea because I do my best to avoid and ignore him. I wish they would stop asking him to work upstairs. It would be nice if I could just tell him I have a boyfriend so maybe he would back off then.

The afternoon was very busy and I didn't think it was going to be that bad. There was a specialty bilateral case and that took forever and they used a ton of stuff for it. The doctor was being a dick according to the tech and he kept asking them to open more instruments even though it wasn't necessary. He wasn't happy with anything they gave him. I inspected them and they are totally fine. He is just very picky and he was in a bad mood. I think he might have been stressed so I guess I can understand that. He doesn't do that procedure very often. He used a lot of stuff for his other cases too so I had a big pile at the end of the day. I didn't get all of it done but I don't even care. I just focused on the important things. I didn't put anything away even though my shelf was overflowing. I wanted to go home and sit down so badly.

I left and I made myself stop and get fast food. I knew I wouldn't eat anything if I didn't do that. I haven't had that in so long and I ate too much. I feel really gross but I think I needed to do that. I haven't been eating the best and I have been snacking too much. I didn't eat lunch today because they had wings and they looked horrible. I wasn't going to waste $7 on that. I'm just glad I'm full now.

Somehow I am still gaining weight but I think part of that is due to my soda intake. I haven't had a Dr. Pepper in 2 days and I'm grumpy about it. I know I need to stop because it's causing a lot of problems for me. I can also tell when my blood sugar is too high and it's not a pleasant feeling. I am afraid that I will develop diabetes if I don't stop because that runs in the family. I can have one sometimes but I can't do it every day anymore. I think that part of the reason my head hurts is because I am having horrible withdrawals. It's annoying but I think I am ready to quit now. I am just going to be sleepy all the time I guess.

I wish it wasn't so late but I am going to try to relax for a little while anyway. I don't have much else to say at the moment. I already got ready for bed and I'm cozy. I hope I don't fall asleep right away but I don't want to be tired tomorrow either. I think it will be a good day and I am looking forward to it. :)

I hope everyone else has a good day tomorrow too!!! 💖💖💖