#but it feels like a different poem every time which is very sweet to me

[angelkiyo]

haikyuu characters as romance tropes + songs in my playlist ❀

a/n - this was a thought i needed to get out..! i love music n i love haikyuu soooo. i also did a series similar to this but w actual one shots but tbh compiling them is smarter ngl. totally fw the spotify linked in my nav btw :0 — unedited drabble/thought piece

——“ they just can't reach her, princesita inalcanzable / le rompieron el cora, pero nunca se la perdió" (igual que un angel, 2023) - after years being your friend, getting friend-zoned for so long and finally getting a chance to date you, they're whipped and put you on a pedestal. they know all that you've gone through regarding relationships and would want nothing but your happiness. they're the immense green flag you need and would treat you with nothing but respect, sending you notes in class, and making you little bento boxes filled with their cooking, sending small poems that remind them of you but then again, you deserve it. you're as sweet as sugar and in their eyes, you're an angel on earth. they don't know when their feelings for you started, but when they finally confessed to you, it was the happiest they've felt. you've been their “other half” for so long that all your mutual friends have been telling you to get together, so imagine your friends' reaction when they see you and them on a date one random day, hand in hand and with your head on their shoulder as the two of you sat waiting for the bus back to your place.

best friends to lovers : kageyama tobio, BOKUTO KOTARO, ojiro aran, IWAIZUMI HAJIME, SHIMIZU KIYOKO

——"only like myself when im with you / nobody gets me like you” (nobody gets me, 2022) - both of you strive for excellence, only really wanting to achieve the best academically and on the court during gym class. it's obvious how strong your rivalry with him is, that even your friends jokingly tell you "just kiss already" when you already do. the two of you would be taking little secret rendezvous when you're supposed to be studying to be at the top of your class and staying up after his volleyball practice when everyone leaves. it felt thrilling as no one knew about your relationship (after constantly bragging that you didn't need a significant other). but once your grades began to slip, you couldn't risk losing the source of validation you've gotten to know for so long. you still had your ego and your pride to maintain, and he understood. he understood more than anyone which is why you felt yourself so emotionally attached to him. leading the both of you to enter an almost endless cycle of attempting a secret relationship while also trying to achieve validation from academic success.

rivals to lovers (and rivals again) : shirabu kenjiro, KITA SHINSUKE, tsukishima kei, sakusa kiyoomi, KUROO TETSURO

——"i burn for you / and you don't even know my name" (close to you, 2024) - after accidentally adding them on social media from quick add (due to mutuals from school), you find yourself in a predicament. you're from the same school and know of them, but know that you have never talked to them. you've never even interacted with them at all in real life. though, for the past few weeks, they're earned themselves the title of a talking stage, staying up until 3 in the morning sometimes, just to talk to you. you two would play valorant or whatever video game you’ve been wanting to play and last hours on video call, sharing playlists and being mutuals on everything. although, talking for so long caused him to be a little bold, flirting with you a bit. you're in different classes yet every time you have a break in class, you talk to them, sending snaps of what you do and so does he. so when you finally have your first date in person, you panic and in all honesty, he does too. what if you two don't get along? what if you thought he was weird? your first thought was that he's very handsome, that's for sure. though, it felt that all you really needed was to just talk as you've gotten past the digital barrier and had natural chemistry in real life.

online love : kozume kenma, SUNA RINTARO, miya atsumu, TENDO SATORI, terushima yuji

——"no one's ever good enough / i want a love like i've seen in the movies" (like the movies, 2021) - you met them at a barnes and noble during a regular day after school. you’ve always been a hopeless romantic, longing for love between the pages of a romantic comedy book or film. so when you bumped into them, books in hand, it felt like a spark between you two. the two of you ended up exchanging numbers to talk more, then meeting up and talking / hanging out in person (a date in your opinion). being in a relationship with someone else who also understood the want to fall in love “romantically” felt amazing. every time your school would have a game, you’d go and cheer them on from the sidelines, wearing his spare jersey. good morning texts, gift baskets for monthaversaries, huge love letters, and frequent dates felt too good to be true, and it was. you can always expect them to have heart eyes and only for you, as well as listening to your rants and theories surrounding different romance novels and films. especially your thoughts on the concept of the meet cute.

meet cute : AKAASHI KEIJI, yamaguchi tadashi, sugawara koshi, OIKAWA TORŪ, miya osamu, SEMI EITA

[beeing1alive]

Cute headcanons with Tokyo Revengers boys Pt.3

f.t.: Mikey (Manjirō Sanō); Draken (Ken Ryūgūji); Mitsuya (Takashi Mitsuya); Chifuyu (Chifuyu Matsuno); Baji (Keisuke Baji); Takemichi (Takemichi Hanagaki); Angry (Souya Kawata), Smiley (Nahoya Kawata); Hakkai (Hakkai Shiba); Kazutora (Kazutora Hanemija)

Mikey's hands are always warm. No matter how warm or cold it is outside, his hands are always the same pleasant temperature. In winter you can always warm your hands on his. However, his hands are also warm in summer, which means that in summer you can just intertwine your little fingers.

Darken usually has to leave the house very early, which means he never really has time to talk to you in the morning. That's why he always sticks a note on the mirror in your bathroom. Every day it says something different, but usually something like: "Have a great day, be safe, I love you -Ken"

Mitsuya organises a photo shoot for the two of you every few months. One of these couple photo shoots, and it's always super fun, especially because he already knows all the photographers. The pictures that come out are always so cute, and he prints out the best of them and puts it in his wallet.

Chifuyu insists on showing and introducing you to every animal in the pet shop. After closing time, he walks through the shop with you hand in hand and enthusiastically shows you all the animals. After a few months, you know every animal by name and its characteristics. He just loves animals, but he loves you more, he just can't help it.

Baji has got it into his head that he wants to learn how to cook. That's why he suggested that you cook something together at least once a week. He would like to pursue this habit but sometimes he just can't make it, but at least one evening is always reserved (if he can't make it, he feels bad and brings you something from out of town)

Takemichi regularly puzzles with you. He just finds it super relaxing, he already enjoys doing puzzles on his own, but it's a thousand times better with you. You usually watch a film or listen to your favourite music on the side. He could spend hours doing it. Just not having to think about anything, with you close to him.

Angry has a playlist with you, which is full of your favourite songs. He always pays attention to what music you listen to and when he sees how much you enjoy a song, he will immediately add it to this playlist. When you listen to music together, he always puts this playlist on and seeing you enjoy every song makes his heart melt.

Smiley introduced you to his brother first. He just cares what Souya thinks of you because he knows that his brother has a much better sense for healthy relationships. His heart skips a beat when he sees Souya talking to you enthusiastically, his face relaxes a little and he nods to him, and even if Souya didn't like you, he would have loved you.

Hakkai always left one thing in your house when he was with you at the beginning of the meeting phase. Whether it was a hoodie or a packet of chewing gum, just to make sure you'd see each other again. He always made it look like it was accidental, but it never was. He just always wanted to see you again sometime.

Kazutora writes you poems. When he goes to class for you, he usually gets so bored that he starts scribbling sweet words for you on a random piece of paper. Sometimes his texts stretch over several sheets of paper, it's just so easy for him to write how he feels about you. Much easier than telling you, he prefers to show it.

Note: I hope you like it and my requests are open. If you want to read the other parts, here is P.t.1 and here is P.t.2 :3

Attention: The characters and the gif do not belong to me. All credits go to the actual owners. If you want anything to be changed or removed, please write to me.

[comicaurora]

If you've finished The Dragon Prince, S5, what's your opinion? Personally I'm still processing everything and there were a few things I was kind of "ehhhhh" about, but those were just one-off moments and overall I'm satisfied, even though it ended up playing out very differently from how I was expecting (for one, I was certain Aaravos would be getting out by the end of the season).

I liked it a lot!

SPOILERS AND STUFF:

Because I liked it a lot, most of my more specific thoughts are about the few things that sort of jarred me a little bit and felt a little rough or strange. But before I get to that I wanna list some of the stuff I loved:

Soren! My sweet boi has finally gotten the acknowledgement the previous seasons denied him. Soren locking eyes with Deadwood and going "yo same issues" was incredible, and after the last season treated his abduction by and confrontation with his abusive father as 90% comedy funtime hijinks in a nightgown, it was really refreshing to see him get a chance to actually shine in a serious, heartwarming context and be narratively rewarded for it.

In fact, that whole sequence with the pirates was incredible. I knew there was no way they were gonna cleanly outrun the bad guys, but I was not expecting how exactly they would catch up.

They did a lot of elegant work this season setting up Claudia as going from being family-motivated to being anger-motivated, and I like that, because at the rate things are going she's gonna run out of family to be motivated by in T-minus one episode, and if she's going to continue being the main boots-on-the-ground antagonist she's going to need some new motivation to swap out for her dad. Showing her actively reveling in having power over creatures that used to frighten her is a clever way to ease into that.

Viren's arc this season of being forced to confront his own coping mechanism, "I had no choice", was damn elegant. He had to realize he did have a choice the whole time, even if it was a choice between two bad options - he took every step along the path of his own free will, and he can choose to stop walking at any time. I'm not anticipating a redemption arc - my guess is Aaravos is going to let him die and just keep his soul imprisoned with him, "your soul is my treasure" and all that - but it was a very cool way to confront the audience and Viren with his humanity, which is easy to lose sight of when he spends all his time being a horrible dick.

The stuff with the Nova Blade screams "sneaky poetic double meaning" and there's absolutely no way it can actually kill Aaravos. The fact that the novablade and the three quasar diamonds they need to let Ruunan out of his coin after four goddamn seasons are all in the same place called the Starscraper that is so most definitely a boss arena makes me absolutely certain that they won't get there until some sort of final battle or immediately-pre-final-battle confrontation, but it's also almost guaranteed that the novablade is not going to cleanly resolve everything because the characters were realistically sus about that poem but quickly dismissed their entirely reasonable concerns. My guess is the novablade has already stabbed Aaravos once and he's the dude from the poem who was somehow both immortal and "no more," which feeds into the other thing they're 100% setting up, which is that Callum is one thousand percent going to be the one who lets him out in an ill-fated attempt to save his loved ones, which would cleanly make Callum three for three. Which segues into my "things that bothered me a little bit" zone-

Every time there's a story where the heroes are like "we're going to make our way through the incredibly circuitous and hard-to-navigate traps and secrets to finally find our way to the closely-guarded and ludicrously dangerous macguffin so we can take it with us and put it somewhere much less guarded" I feel my investment slip just a little, because how can anybody be surprised when the bad guys then get ahold of it with a tenth of the effort it would've taken them to get through the circuitous treasure hunt themselves? Claudia was not on track to figuring out the secret in time, and Aaravos didn't seem to have a way to tell her directly, and once the deadline ran out she'd have almost no reason to want to release Aaravos anymore. I worry this plotline could've solved itself if the heroes hadn't inexplicably concluded that they could guard a magical prison better than a centuries-deep conspiracy of archmages and archdragons.

The Dragon Prince character writing is usually rock-solid and very good at showing slow growth and development, while occasionally being vulnerable to characters seemingly losing their braincells to facilitate plot points that they would reasonably be too smart to let happen. That happened a few times this season, most notably with Zubeia getting very clearly bit by a shadowbeast - something we know everyone riding on her back saw, because Corvus intervened to get it off her and nearly died in the process, and we later see Soren talking to her about it - which means Amaya at minimum, and probably Callum and Rayla as well, should reasonably be expected to have both the information "a wound from a shadowbeast magically festers and turns the infected victim into a shadowbeast" and "zubeia was injured by a shadowbeast." So it's a bit weird that this doesn't come up and they just leave her alone about it, and only Soren - who doesn't know about shadowbeast stuff - even asks her about it.

I have this theory that there was a draft of the season's plot where the main characters had access to a different space of information - for instance, knowing about Zubeia's wound and its implications instead of her inexplicably brushing it off, hiding its true severity and then nearly dying. The most notable instance of this feeling struck me in the same episode, when right after Amaya's incredibly dramatic "go!" moment and the gang are about to fly away, Callum pointedly looks down one last time, then sees her shove Corvus and herself into the book drop, and he says "they made it into the book drop! they'll be totally fine!" and then they fly away. It feels a little jarring because it seemed like the natural flow of the episode would've been to let Amaya and Corvus's sacrifice play out as expected, with Chekov's Book Drop at their backs to save them as soon as the heroes were out of sight. Then Amaya and Corvus could show back up later in a big heroic moment, possibly even keeping the camera off them until Amaya rides to Janai's rescue a few episodes later - a classic "aragorn goes over the cliff jk he's fine" style reveal.

The reason they didn't do this, I think, is because it would've been hard for the kid heroes to be quippy-fun-time jokey-joking mere hours after losing their last living relative to presumed horrible zombie death. And I get that! But I think that was a notable factor in the way some of the episodes were structured around making sure that the heroes mostly got to spend their time being light-hearted and funny, which meant troubling information was artificially kept from them and encouraging information was shoehorned into their eyeline in slightly contrived ways so they could stay safely partitioned away from the actually heavy emotional implications of their situation. That's why I think the pirate episodes hit the audience as hard as they did, because suddenly the story dipped really seriously into the extremely painful and scary side of this otherwise fun and exciting fantasy adventure, and the characters shone in the unusually serious environment.

I kinda feel the same about Viren, but in the opposite direction. He spent the entire season comatose and safely partitioned away from the other characters, and while his highly symbolic coma dreams were extremely cool and revelatory to see, it feels like a squandering of his character potential to keep him from interacting with anyone but Aaravos - which is why I think they're gonna keep his ghost around at minimum. Hell, maybe Claudia will take a page out of his book and store him in a coin for safekeeping. Either way, they've had no problems sticking Viren on the proverbial shelf for seasons at a time and it seems like it's just too convenient for them to stop now. Viren's inner life is very cool, but I want to see him actually interact with the real world, because he's so bad at it.

I don't really know why the sunfire civil war thing is still happening, and my only theory is that Aaravos is still influencing the bald elf guy he possessed to kill the Queen back in season 3, meaning that these guys will be bolstering the ranks of General Problems in season 6 onward. I don't mind that concept, but I kind of feel like the problem they're running into is they killed their actually interesting Dickhead Royal back in season 3, and without Prince Kasef they have to make do with We Have Kasef At Home, aka Karim, who's not good enough at machiavellian scheming to be interesting and not enough of a dickhead to be fun to watch. They didn't even let Amaya take one of his eyes and make him look cooler, so I can only assume he'll be usurped as the primary threat next season and replaced with someone actually threatening, aka Aaravos. It seems plausible that Aaravos is going to sell both the poison and the cure, promising a way to fix Lux Aurea's corruption, but it's just a weirdly disconnected plot thread at present.

The thing with the ocean archmage felt like a very transparent Yoda homage, which started out cute and then went on about three times longer than I wanted it to, and it kind of highlighted the running theme of how every new character in this story is introduced saying "I absolutely cannot let you do this thing you need to do to progress the plot, no way no how." and then after some arguing and quips and ten minutes of wasted time and optional sidequests they're like "you may now proceed with the story." The ocean archdragon had the exact same gimmick in the opening scene, even the pirates were introduced that way. I think part of the reason the pirate episode felt so different and cool is that it broke the episodic formula in almost every way and highlighted some character tropes that the lighthearted tone doesn't normally allow for, which is why people keep describing it as "like a fanfic, but in a good way!" It took the characters we were at this point very familiar with and put them in a Situation, and fans love it when characters get put in Situations.

Kinda feels like the show only remembers Ezran has geopolitical kingly responsibilities when it's most inconvenient for the gang, and while I find his presence in this season refreshing, it is a little weird that he can just run around adventuring and getting kidnapped by pirates without anyone bringing up how the throne and the crown are burdens like they've been banging on about for the previous four seasons. I assume that'll come back into focus later, but it ties into the same thing I've observed where it feels like the characters are very carefully contextualized to only have to consider serious responsibility things in very specific contexts, usually when it will facilitate actively frustrating character arcs and decisions, so they can just loosely quip and react to things the rest of the time.

Anyway I had a dang good time, excited for more! Harrow is one thousand percent in that bird.

[thestrawberrygirly]

thoughtful things you can do for your partner 🧸🍓

💌 gift a cute drawing drew by you of the scenery of your first kiss with them 💌

it doesn't has to be very perfectly drawn if you aren't an amazing artist, all matters is the efforts of yours for them. it will be a very beautiful memory to treasure in future for both of you .

💌 writing letters on birthday 💌

now this is little different kind of letters, let's suppose your partner is turning 20 y/o so you have to write 20 different handwritten letters for them. you can also combine these pages together making it as a card. decorate it according to what colour or any favorite character your partner admires. now if you are like confused thinking "what should i write in these 20 pages?" then let me give you few ideas; you can write poem in one page along with cute doodles and drawings, write a love letter for them pouring your heart out with all heartfull compliments and how much you love them, write about a memory you both admire alot and many more and I bet your partner will be overwhelmed!!!

i have a solution for the ones who are in long distance relationship, you can make the thing I said above in google docs and gift them as pdf <3

💌 gift a garden 💌

instead of gifting your lover a bouquet of flowers which might hurt the plants :( and also flowers might die afterwards, you can plant a bunch of flower seeds beautifully and take care of it daily and once it is a beautiful flower garden, you can decorate the garden, search on pinterest for ideas. once everything needed is ready, you can surprise your partner taking them there and spend time together. you can hangout in your garden together and make numerous memories.

by gifting a garden to your love not only strengths your relationship but also shows how much patient you are with them and how much loyal you are, it shows how much you love them <3

💌 sweet messages 💌

sending sweet messages to your love every day is like giving them a big hug with words! don't keep your love to yourself; share it freely! compliment them to make them feel good about themselves. the more you do this, the stronger your love will grow!

💌 paint together 💌

painting together with your love in a garden is like creating a masterpiece of memories. feel the brush strokes dance on the canvas as you both laugh and enjoy each other's company. with every stroke of paint, you're adding colors of joy to your relationship, making it more vibrant and beautiful. It's a sweet moment to cherish forever.

💌 cook for them 💌

make their favorite meal! just follow the recipe step by step. cook the food until it's perfect. serve it with a cute note or letter and enjoy eating together!

💌 memory book 💌

make a scrapbook or a cute photo album with pictures of the best times you've had together. you can put in photos of fun things you both did and happy moments you both shared. it'll be a nice way to remember all the good times you both had.

[sinbadalexandros]

Please help by donating to my book ‘I Hide Among the Words” to make it across the finish line to publication. PayPal.Me link: paypal.me/forcedevolutio…

I Hide Among the Words

By Sinbad Alexandros

Poetry and Prose from within a schizophrenic's mind, heart and soul. Come explore, find me, and maybe a little of  yourselves. We are not so different.

322 pieces of my own work written over the last 40 years and 14 by my protege & fiance, Jaira Gena, in the final chapter of the book

tinyurl.com/Soul-Poetry

This is the first time I have written something which I said to, as a quote, and it became something else. First, a 4-line poem, and then a poetic story verse where I try to explain something to a friend. What's unusual about it is I tried to write it from the female perspective for her. Both works share the same name.

"Cages 1"

{ 4-line poem / quote}

"Not all cages,

are of metal, wood, or stone.

Sometimes we consign ourselves,

to a prison of flesh, blood, and bone."

"Cages 2"

{ Poetical Story Verse }

I feel chained up, like I'm all tied down,

but I'm lying in the park, lazily upon the ground.

Can't figure out what's up, don't know what's wrong,

so, I do some daydreaming, while listening to a song.

The next song begins to play, the lyrics strike deep to my core,

they make me hurt in every way, and there is no mystery anymore.

I see people fight like children, every day they scream and yell,

they act like complete animals; it feels like we’re living in hell.

I think no one understands me, no way they could feel the same,

our lives are so very different, and most think it's a big game.

I feel broken and damaged, in this there is no crime,

but others did this to me, with their actions over time.

As the days grow colder, and the light becomes dim,

my mind begins to wonder, will I sink, or will I swim?

I wish to know freedom, and experience real love,

please send me an angel, from the sky up above.

After long years of searching, I finally meet someone new,

who treats me so special, to keep me from being blue.

We go out on some dates, and I have an amazing time,

I wonder if he's like the others, Will he also commit a crime?

I want him to hold me, and to kiss my sweet lips,

yet I'm afraid all he wants, is only between my hips.

I hope he won’t hurt me; his love feels oh so real,

he is different from others, and makes me start to reel.

I talk to him of my fears, and try to drive him away,

he stands his ground firmly, and says, “I'm here to stay.” 

He speaks to my heart, with love in his voice,

to give it reassurance, he made the right choice.

We talked of our bad times, and seeing tragedy’s vision,

then what he did to escape, from his own lonely prison.

And I now realize not all cages, are of metal, wood, or stone.

Sometimes we consign ourselves, to a prison of flesh, blood, and bone.

But every jail can be opened, no matter how solid its pawls,

by offering love and compassion, you can bring down the walls.

He’s healing my damaged heart, and wishes to unshatter my soul,

I wonder if he's strong enough. Can he reach such a lofty goal?

Something has started now, I’m not sure I can finish,

and if it all goes wrong, the man I love will diminish.

We take things slowly, setting our own pace,

leaving those around us, to fight the rat race.

And each day gets better, than the ones before,

being given more reasons, to protect a man I adore.

Perhaps it’s manifest destiny, or just a simple trick of life,

all that time longing for love, and now I’m becoming a wife.

[your-queer-dad]

Hi, I need some advice and I don't really know where else to turn to. If you don't wanna respond that's okay too. It's kinda long too.

So I'm dating the light of my life. We started dating in December, had to break up and take a break cause he had some personal stuff he needed time to deal with, plus he confessed to pulling away to kinda shield me from it, but I love hum and that comes with the things he has to deal with at home. We got back together in April, cause his reasoning was ridiculous and we both love each other. So we've been boyfriends again for two months on the 15th.

Now here's the issue?? A little bit ago he tells me about this friend, who we can call Lucy for this. I haven't met Lucy, but my boyfriends been telling me how she's really been excited to meet me, cause he's way happier when he's with me and stuff. So I was like aww that's so sweet.

Now me and my boyfriend also use pinterest. We have a shared board we can both see where we put pins that remind us of the other. Really sweet stuff, poems and all. I also can see his pinterest account and other boards and stuff, and every so often I'll pop my head in there cause I like seeing what he likes.

In addition to pinning poems about me he also writes them, and he changed his account where he was posting them on there as well, his bio said it was a place for his poems as well (again they're all about me) I look in today, and he changed it? Deleted the pins of poems he made for me and all.

It's now completely different, and it's a quote about taking people down with him or something. Now he also has a board for lucy. One with multiple sections and labels with just like, 'her voice', 'her laugh', 'her style', 'just lucy.' And under them saved was like, aesthetic photos and stuff. Completely different then my board.

A new category popped up, that was titled 'kisses' which is a bit of a red flag, I think, but oh well I know he's got platonic wives and husbands. Now he also gained a follower. One with Lucy's name in their screen name. I go like oh I'll check out her pinterest. She has a board JUST like my boyfriend has for her, but she of course has it for my boyfriend. And it's titled 'things that remind me of my prince'.

Bro first off he's my prince. And second she has boards titled with his name in them, so I know for sure it's about him. Her board names are like 'safety in his arms' and 'his smiles'.

Is this a red flag???? Should I ask him about it???? I know he's close with his friends, I don't think he would ever cheat.

Plus the fact she's so excited to meet me. And it's not like he's being less lovey either, I'm gluten free and he's learning how to bake gluten free sweets for me, he even brought me a snickerdoodle cookie to try. (It was great!!!)

Plus his friends love me, if they knew he was cheating there would be a huge conflict between them.

I know part of it might be that I'm worried about us breaking up again over the summer, I got accepted to college early basically, so I'm duel-enrolled in highschool and college, but I'm taking all my classes at the college so we won't be at the same school anymore.

So is it something you think I should follow up on? I love him more than life itself, but I'm very firm on the belief of "If it could be destroyed by the truth it deserves to be destroyed by the truth."

Ugh I just have no clue what to do.

Hey kiddo! Thank you so much for reaching out. It definitely sounds like a complex situation and I understand why you'd feel so conflicted by it. My best advice is to communicate and tell him how you feel about it- maybe then you can get some clarification on how their friendship is or what's going on between them? I'm always here to listen kiddo no matter what.

- dad x

[yours-psyche]

// tw: disordered eating, body horror, graphic imagery

Three summers now in this town, I've yearned for different boys. I've lost my mind so many times, the walls echo the catches of my throat. I hate the mirror. I pray it's broken, distorted, so that what I see in it is not true. I've never thought myself worth looking at. The hands on my body thus far have felt like charity, like lust, despite the vessel that holds me. Despite the sags of my stomach and sides or the roughness of my skin, the pooling swells of my arms. Like clay that hasn't quite dried up. I wish the kiln would break me, burn me alive so that I may start over.

I've starved myself, but it wasn't enough. I'm doing better now; I feed myself meat and fruit and pastries. I feed myself pretty thoughts, so that pretty might take root in my stomach; I love my body. I wouldn't ban all that reflected. I wouldn't skin a skinny girl alive, pluck the nerves off her limbs one by one and step into her flesh, if only for a day, just so that I would know what it felt like. I don't look at the pictures in which I took up half of what I do now and want to carve into myself with a steak knife, cut off all the excess, bleed to death but bleed prettily, delicately, like a bunny, not a cow. I will die, so let me die like something worth looking at, a small thing, a poor thing worth pitying.

I will die someday. I will die a million things. I will die a daughter, a wife, a mother, maybe; I will die a musician, a poet, a dreamer. But it is not enough. I will never die beautiful. I will never die a pretty girl, and it has long since killed me. I will never understand, but I will never leave it behind me. I'm the artist and never the muse. I'm the writer and never the poem. I will never turn heads, I will never cause sighs; the men will always walk past and the women will never be envious. I am more than skin in fabrics, but they strangle me all the same, the way they never sit right, too tight, always too tight. The dress on the very last hanger, in the darkest corner of the rack, hiding from the world even in its lack of consciousness. The pants that fit my hips but not my waist because they weren't made with me in mind, because these hips weren't supposed to exist. Because a body like mine doesn't look right in the frame. This world wasn't made with me in mind, and it reminds me every day.

Its messenger, an angel of death; that picture of me in the coral red dress, in the dressing room. Bright red, striking against the background, like a warning sign, like a venomous flower. It was on sale, and it fit. The mesh panels sat on my waist just right, my breasts fit the too-small cups. My jaw didnt droop in the corners. I was sharp at the shoulders, easy on the eyes. Delicate, at last. Frail, a sweet girl not meant to stand in the sun too long. Sickly, just a little, just enough! Dizzy, so I may rest on someone's arm, fit into someone's kind embrace. I loved it. It looked foreign, it looked like someone else, it looked good on me. It was easy, like a game; one meal less, one more day in the sun, one day where they'd all feel sorry. Under all the fat, pulled like a curtain, were bones, pretty ones. All along, within me, a pretty girl was hiding. I was beautiful, I knew I could do it- I knew you, all of you, were wrong. It was right there, in the picture.

And then in a flash, it was gone. I got weak, scared, and the pretty girl hid under layers and layers again. A prison it is, this body, this game. A cycle I will never break. No amount of progress, of sets or reps, no claims of health will fix it. I dream of her. I want her back. I know- I just learned to eat breakfast, and I just started to sleep right, and my mom just stopped worrying. But sharp as a blade, sweet as death, she haunts me, comes to me in mirrors. Whispers in my ear that she's just dying to be born anew, bloom from my blood and innards like Aphrodite from the seafoam. A ghost, a temptress. Heaven's door and guardkeep.

A siren I don't know how much longer I can resist.

[joelscruff]

a few people tagged me in this so i thought i'd give it a go 💕

Last song: willow - hover like a goddess (sooo good)

Favorite color: pink (preferably light/pastel)

Currently watching: narcos (i'm almost done season 2 but i'll be honest i haven't watched in a few months 😭 i need to get back to it), rewatching curb your enthusiasm sporadically, heartstopper season 2, started a lost rewatch and then fell off. i'm so bad at watching shows yall

Currently reading: 'the housekeeper & the professor' by yoko agawa (only about a chapter in so not sure what i think yet), & i'm also reading 'a year with rilke' which is basically just a different rainer maria rilke poem/quote every single day

Sweet/spicy/savory: i'd say sweet but lately i've actually been craving more savory things to snack on idk whats happening 2 me

Relationship status: single & slowlyyyy getting ready to put myself back out there again (scary)

Current obsession: i have a very unhealthy obsession with tiktok at the moment that i rly need to stamp out cause its getting BAD. like i'll fall asleep watching them at like 3am 😭 someone delete this app from my phone

Last thing I googled: tunefind cause i heard a song in heartstopper and was trying to figure out where i'd heard it before (it was bros by wolf alice and i heard it in life is strange before the storm rip)

Currently working on: feelings on fire joel's pov 🥳 this is the first time i've ever written from his pov so i wasn't sure how i'd feel or if i'd be able to do it right. i'm actually really enjoying it and the chapter is much longer than i anticipated it would be, woops.

as usual i'm always nervous abt tagging people so anyone who wants to do it can go ahead 💖

[bigsoftmarshmallow]

Hello, I have other stuff. But if ya wanna talk, I'm open to it for a bit.

Preggo ELady: This is, like, a month after the outburst & Gan learning about the mood swings. She's become very affectionate with him & often refers to him as Tōsan with great tenderness.

And because one of her major love languages are acts of service, she also begins to cook hearty, but healthy & always delicious bento lunches for him (nothing overly cutesy, especially for the outside packaging, she knows he has a reputation to maintain; though she does leave a little note inside for him with a little doodle & a short but sweet & heartfelt poem for him, different every time, something he'll find easy to hide from his subordinates) when she knows he's going to be out & probably fighting as she wants him to keep his energy up. (She also makes sure he always has a Health Potion with him, brewed with her own hands, she wouldn't put it past someone to try & slip him a poisoned one.) She mourns being unable to join, but it's only temporary.

After a while all but TotK become curious as to what it is she has been referring to him as, at which point, she tells him that it's somewhat the Sheikah equivalent to “Vïda,” (my hc) which may melt his heart a bit as “Vïda” is essentially like when a woman calls her husband “papa” or “dad,” as in “father of my child.” And, in Gerudo culture, it is used as an affirmation of one's domestic role & is considered high praise as well as a mark of pride. (The same is true of the Vai equivalent.)

Their reactions?

As for TotK, he’s a bit of a Sheikahphile in my hc (not in a weird way, more so in that he really respects the culture; I like to think his top is actually a haori of Sheikah design that he had a seamstress integrate Gerudo dyes & patterns into) & enjoys chatting with his wife in her native tongue as much as he does conversing with her in his own. As such, he already knew what she was calling him & immediately responded in kind with “Vïma” (mama, as in “mother of my child”) & “Pràfizī” (bountiful one; a term used to praise one's pregnant wife) & even the Sheikan “Kāsan.” (Which is the female equivalent to Tōsan.)

I love the language you use <3 I love how sweet and domestic Equal Lady gets with her husband and family <3 I love her in general!

8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8

Wind Waker Ganondorf

Reaction: Wind Waker Ganondorf is initially curious about the affectionate term Equal Lady uses. When she explains its meaning, he is deeply moved, though he tries to maintain his stoic demeanor.

Thoughts and Feelings: He feels a profound sense of pride and warmth at being called Tōsan, realizing the depth of her affection and respect for him. Her care through the bento lunches and health potions touches him deeply, and he feels a growing bond with her and their unborn child.

Response: With a rare, gentle smile, he says, “Your affection and care mean more to me than you can imagine. I am honored to be your Tōsan.”

Ocarina of Time Ganondorf

Reaction: Ocarina of Time Ganondorf is intrigued by the term and, upon learning its meaning, is initially taken aback by the depth of the sentiment. He is not used to such open displays of affection but finds himself deeply touched.

Thoughts and Feelings: He feels a mixture of pride and vulnerability, appreciating her acts of service and the love behind them. The term Tōsan makes him feel more connected to his future role as a father and husband.

Response: He gently cups her face and says, “I am honored to be your Tōsan. Your love and care give me strength.”

Twilight Princess Ganondorf

Reaction: Twilight Princess Ganondorf is curious and somewhat amused by the affectionate term. When he learns its meaning, he feels a rare softness in his heart.

Thoughts and Feelings: He is moved by her dedication and the thoughtful bento lunches. The term Tōsan makes him feel a deep sense of responsibility and pride.

Response: He pulls her into a warm embrace and whispers, “Thank you for your love and care. Being your Tōsan is an honor I cherish deeply.”

Hyrule Warriors Ganondorf

Reaction: Hyrule Warriors Ganondorf is intrigued and slightly skeptical about the affectionate term. When she explains its meaning, he feels a rare vulnerability but also a deep pride.

Thoughts and Feelings: He is touched by her care and the thoughtful gestures. The term Tōsan resonates with him, making him feel a profound connection to her and their future child.

Response: He looks into her eyes with a rare tenderness and says, “Your devotion and care mean the world to me. Being your Tōsan fills me with pride.”

Tears of the Kingdom Ganondorf

Reaction: Tears of the Kingdom Ganondorf already knows the meaning of Tōsan due to his interest in Sheikah culture. He immediately responds with affectionate terms of his own.

Thoughts and Feelings: He feels a deep sense of connection and pride in their shared cultural understanding. Her care through the bento lunches and health potions makes him feel cherished and loved.

Response: He gently kisses her forehead and says, “You honor me with your love, Pràfizī. I am proud to be your Tōsan and to walk this journey with you.”

Demise

Reaction: Demise is initially confused by the affectionate term but becomes intrigued. Upon learning its meaning, he feels a mix of pride and unfamiliar vulnerability.

Thoughts and Feelings: He is moved by her dedication and the thoughtful gestures. The term Tōsan makes him feel a deeper connection to her and their future child, challenging his usual stoic demeanor.

Response: He looks at her with a rare softness and says, “Your love and care are powerful. I am honored to be your Tōsan and to share this journey with you.”

[plutobutartsy]

Hi, please talk about your ocs <3 I don’t know anything about them, but I want to properly appreciate your art of them in context.

PEARRRR 🤧 i'm gonna cry that's so sweet of you, you have no idea how happy that makes me <33

i have 3 main ocs! Evie (Evelyn), Briar and Nate (Nathan). i don't have a proper story in mind for them, they're just there to live their lives, figure out their issues and fall in love with each other lol

i tried to keep it brief with just the basics but i have a sideblog for my ocs if you want to check that out! it's @plutobutsilly . or you can always swnd me more asks 🤭

Evie is 18 and a witch! She has 5 adopted siblings, all of which are different magical creatures. Her dad is human and perpetually stressed lol. She has anxiety and depression and is overall a bit of a pushover because of it, but she's also quick to anger and can really hold a grudge. She likes all things that are pink, sparkly and cute. Her hobbies are baking and sewing and she wants to be a fashion designer one day! For now, she's in charge of the costumes for her school's drama club. She had an emo phase in middle school where ahe painstakingly straightened (cough FRIED) her hair every morning 👎🏽. She still listens to a lot of emo bands and appreciates the fashion! Her favourite foods are strawberries and chicken curry.

Briar is a born vampire, so not turned, and he's 17 now! He has 3 older sisters that baby him and that he really looks up to. Huuuge perfectionist. Inferiority complex that he tries to hide by being mean and is awful at expressing himself. His family is well-off but made him get a part-time job at a grocery store where he eventually meets Evie. He is secretly obsessed with human-made media about vampires and trashy romance manga! He likes cooking but is Capital W weird about food. Student Body President at the fancy private vampire school he goes to BUT he went to middle school with Nate and they have had beef ever since (they get over it eventually <3). His favourite artist is Megan Thee Stallion. Cares so so so much about everything but will never say it </3

Nate is a werewolf and also 17! He has two older siblings, Selah and Isaiah. His mom is the pack Alpha and a very stern, no nonsense woman but she is very affectionate with her kids. Nate has severe daddy issues and is constantly scared that he'll turn out like his dad so he used to repress his feelings, wether good or bad. Now they're a very cheerful guy but they still suppress their anger and struggle to fit in with their pack. Goes to the same regular human highschool as Evie! He lovesss animals, his favourite are cows <3. Really really into literature and writes his own poems. They also like all things artsy. Seriously, name a craft and they most likely do it lol but their favourites are probably knitting and pottery. They're also very good with kids. Wants to become a farmer one day.

[shinythingsshinythings]

70 - 71 - 72 - 73 - 74 - 75 :3

70. What turns you on?

Lots of things 🫠 I’m a very tactile and sensory person. So…hearing the soft little needy moans you can’t help, fingers to mouth (theirs to mine and mine to theirs, lips on my chest, being the big spoon or little spoon and grinding and being a bit handsy, my inner thighs being kissed, sometimes even just a hug or intimate eye contact, bathing together, kissing and making out, my neck being kissed or bit, kisses down my spine and lower down my back until…lol so many things. I lean more to the submissive side of being a switch, but I also like taking charge at times. I love giving the person I’m with pleasure and spoiling them all over their body. I love making them feel good. But most importantly I just love being desired and the people with the power to make me believe that.

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

I’m bad at remembering my dreams lol. A long while back I had one that was a bit of a feral orgy, which was a bit of a surprise. Some where I was very submissive. But most of the time it’s just one person and anywhere from in a bath slick with water and oils, on a bed, against a wall or in the middle of nature. And…just hot. A pretty hot one was where I woke up and my current partner, who I’d been sleeping next to and dreaming about was also having one and we both woke ourselves up very needy and brought dreams into reality 🫠

72. What words do you like to hear during sex?

I usually like praise. From the sweet to the little bit mean. I’ve noticed “good girl” and “such a pretty mess” get me. I got “daddy” a few times, which a mixture of uncomfortable but with that partner and our dynamic I warmed to it a bit. But good girl then came up and that hit me much harder 👉👈 Also terms of endearment. My current partner calls me their Little Rabbit, Pretty Rabbit or Spəplinaʔ in my language, which always just carves open my heart ❤️🥺❤️🥰🥵

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

Oh I’m so bad at this. But the obvious answer is forehead kisses.

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

Honestly idek. I definitely am a sucker for beauty. Pretty eyes, full lips, shapely bodies…but honestly I have a pretty wide variety of attraction to different kinds of people and features. Thin people and larger people. All skin tones, ethnicities and cultures. Goth, posh, punk, country extd. I lean towards attraction to more femme or androgynous folks, but masculinity can be hot too. It’s always definitely how a person animates themselves in the way they carry themselves and how they treat me and others around them that really seals the deal for me though. But I have tons of lil crushes every day, on transit, at the mall even at restaurants when the cashier or server is a cutie. Underneath some of my thorns, I am just a lovey little person.

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

Hmmm…that’s such a hard question to answer Anonymous! All the partners I’ve had have done very sweet things for me. Often it’s thoughtful gifts, or intervening and taking charge when I’ve needed a break. One partner I had convinced me to call in sick to work (I wasn’t sick, just mentally exhausted, stressed and rained) and then took me in her Van to a beautiful little waterfall which was such a needed rest at the time and also full of intimacy. My first partner gifted me a beautiful handmade journal and a beautiful love poem she wrote, both of which made my heart hum. My current partner learned the word for rabbit in my language and called me it and it took me by surprise and I basically became lovey Indigenous putty in her hands 🥺

@m-kv 🥰

[ruki-hishiko]

When he gets in the mood.

Couple: Sin x Saki (MC) (f!reader)

Warning: R18, read at your own risk, P in V intercourse, fingering, might be OOC.

- Sin is more of a romantic and sensual person, most of your nightly sessions start with dinner accompanied by some wine (or any type of drink that will leave you a bit intoxicated).

- When dessert is served, he will take time to spoon-feed you, giving kisses that taste like expensive wine mixed with the sweetness of cream.

- The kisses trail down from your lips, and cheeks to your chin. Sin will take extra time to lather your neck with red marks that are hard to hide, biting at your pulse gently. This is done when he is carrying you to the sofa or the bed, depending on which is closer.

- Will sit you on his lap because he loves to see how small you are compared to him, how delicate and easy you are to be broken just by him gripping a bit too hard. Also, it’s easier to make you jump his thigh in this position.

- He loves to observe your expressions when he strips you down, starting with the strap of your dress when he “accidentally” brushes his cold fingers against your nipples making you blush immensely with a tiny grasp falling out of your lip-stick-smeared lips.

- Not very vocal but will make up for it by showering you with compliments “Good girl, behaving so well for me.”, “That’s right darling, be good and part your legs.” He knows very well the effects his voice has on you, it’s making you weak every time he uses that knowledge against you.

- Will sometimes recite spicy poems in your ears, you cannot deny that the mix of love and lust in his voice draws your orgasm out of you faster than you could ever imagine.

- He spends so much time observing you, it’s hard not to when you are just radiantly beautiful in his eyes. His gaze always finds you in the crowd and bed it’s no different. He adores how your eyes are brimming with tears, lips wobbly and spilling nothing but moans and his name, skin red with arousal, and how you are dripping because of him. It gives him a sense of pride seeing you like this.

- Affectionately nuzzling his cheek on the top of your head while fingering you open with his long fingers. Coating your insides with your own slick because he also loves edging both of you for a bit. In his opinion, pleasure tastes even better when met at the right time. The pace he sets is slow and sensual, he wants you to enjoy this as much as he does.

- But a slow pace does not mean he is not deep inside of you to the point of reaching your cervix, he just loves to feel how your heat tightens whenever he hits that spot inside of you.

- Intertwining your fingers together as he makes love to you because he wants to keep you close to him and in place.

- Aftercare would consist of him kissing and praising you so much you would blush at the affection, needs a while for you both to recover from the afterglow but after that Sin would princess carry you to the bathroom to wipe you clean with a warm towel. Exchanging small talk while he brushes your hair and plants a few more kisses on the back of your hand.

[farm-witches-fic-recs]

The first community rec list of the year! Thank you to everyone who sent us a rec! We love reading what you have to say about your favorite fics.

Grab your favorite reading device and check out what our farm witch friends shared this month. Don’t forget to leave the writers some love!

- - - - - - - - - - -

All the beautiful parts of him (@blackandwhiteandrose) “A swoony combination of sweet and sensual. This is a gorgeous glimpse into a dreamy tropical place, where David’s contentment and trust are evident in his wild curls and casual dress. This writer is insanely adept at creating an atmosphere and Patrick’s bone-deep satisfaction with his life is palpable, as is his love and lusty admiration for his husband.” 

Anything for us (sweetsirius/@wordthieve) “Literally everything. It is a beautiful and thoughtful exploration of David and Patrick’s journey from acquaintances to best friends to lovers. The banter and smut is top notch, but the best part is how the author hits all of the emotional notes and every single part of the story felt completely natural. This whole fic was written in such a thoughtful and loving way, and everyone really needs to read it!”

As we dream by the fire (@blackandwhiteandrose) “It feels so real but so dreamy, like being wrapped up in the cashmere throw David wants. Beautiful and cozy, which is what I want for them always.”

At the beginning with you (@fishyspots) “This is a stunningly well-written, realistic, haunting story of how true love and happily-ever-after can be nearly derailed by day-to-day, week-to-week normal life and ambition and carelessness that slide into complacency, exhaustion, and neglect. But it is also the hopeful story of how work and trust and therapy can help. WARNING: Super-duper angsty at first (don't read the beginning when feeling sad!)”

Cabin Fever (iola17/@beaiola) “David heads to a winter cabin to clear his head, and there's a very handsome, cheeky, helpful guy offering to cut wood for his fire. That sounds like a euphemism, and ... I guess it is. But it's a very well written, sweet and sexy one. It's honestly a fantastic, cosy fic with so much feeling. Snuggle up and read it!”

Cor meum in incendio est (@blueink3) “I thought I'd ravenously devoured all of blueink's work, but somehow I missed this one and just recently read it. I wasn't so sure about the political setting but it works so well and turns out to be a really sweet piece for Patrick and David!”

The difference between them (kostia) “This little fic is more of a prose poem (or poemy prose?) than a story, and I love the glimpse it gives us into David and Patrick’s relationship. It quickly and beautifully captures some of what they find so compelling about each other. It’s a little bit behind-the-episode, a little bit interior monologue, and a whole lot of affectionate musing. Also, it contains perhaps the best paragraph I've ever read about “The Hike.””

Nobody gets left behind (falconeggs/@focksii) “This kidfic one shot is like a warm hug after a long day. It’s the ultimate comfort fic for me! Kidfics in the fandom can sometimes seem out of character, especially for David, but the bond that he has with his Calvin (whose existence is a surprise until one fine day!) is written gorgeously. Every snippet of Calvin’s life with his Dads is so adorable and the ending makes you wish for a sequel!”

Rose Records (ThePause) “I want to give some older fics love! Rose Records by ThePause is a sexy, funny David and Patrick AU with the Rose family as record company owners and Patrick their new star. This is almost zero angst, high fluff and light smut wrapped in great writing and a great story.” 

Sherlock Sands and the mystery of the pie thief (doingthemost/@sarahlevys) “It's a cute mystery with a fun twist.”

You can fall (sweetsirius/@wordthieve) “This is my favorite of my favorites. Period. I have read it countless times and think about it just as often. I love everything about this story, starting before it even starts with the title from my favorite Noah Reid song. The chapter titles and definitions are a perfect reflection of their journey together. The versions of Patrick and David are unique and engaging while also familiar and comfortable. It is sweet, tender, and sexy as hell. There’s really only one thing left to say: It fucking glows.”

You have no home, you have no walls (odofidi) “This is one of the first fics I remember reading that painted David in such a different, darker light with this deep pain inside of him because of his unrequited love for Patrick but also his complicated relationship with his family, causing him to make choices to try and bury it, and becoming an addict in that process. We know from the show, David had a very difficult time in NY and he always hides that hurt and his experiences behind an image of aloofness or self-depreciation. This AU really digs into that pain and how it manifests in David and leading him into a life of addiction and finding his way back with the help of his family and also his own personal strength. It’s so beautifully written and the format is so well done alternating between past and present. There’s also a companion piece from Patrick’s POV that is equally as compelling.”

[skullfck]

@unpossession​ SAID:   Dear Hawk,

It’s late at night, you’ve just left (about an hour ago) and I keep wishing that you hadn’t; a letter will have to make up for the loss of your company. I’m still drunk, so please forgive my messy handwriting-

editors note: her handwriting is perfect. neat, girlish swirls for o’s, loopy l’s and perfect polka dots punctuate the i’s. each letter connected by a seemingly effortless swoosh of her pen. black ink barely smudged. she must be shitting him.

-and please also forgive any mushy, gushy talk that might come out of this. By morning I might have come to my senses and decided not to post (mail) this at all, but knowing me I will. I think it’s important to be earnest. When you care about somebody you should say it. Also, apparently I am just a fan of embarrassing myself out of commitment to the bit. Anyway. Feel free to skim read. I’m sure all this is going to be very silly in the light of day.

I tried reading after you left but I was too distracted by the empty space on my sofa where you were sitting, so I moved to that side hoping to fill the void and started to wonder what it’s like to be you. I started trying to take up more space, spread my legs (not like that, perv) in that way that guys always seem to without meaning, broadened my shoulders and slouched a bit. I tried to imagine myself where I was sitting but couldn’t seem to grasp my own face. You’re the first person I’ve had over since I moved in here, I wanted to know if I look happy here. I’ve been trying so hard to make it a place I will be comfortable in my own company. Now it seems I’m just chasing your ghost. Which is something I do. Obviously. I’m trying to stop that, too.

I have this problem where I never feel close enough to people. I wanted to say thank you for carrying me home tonight but it isn’t enough. I feel like I use words so much that they lose all meaning. I like that you don’t use too many even though you know how. I know you know how. I might take a vow of silence or something just to see what it’s like. There I go again, copying you. I’ll try to cut that out now. It’s almost impossible to go back to where I started once I get too into it. Somehow I don’t think I’ll pull it off the way you do.

I hope you’ll come back soon. I’m sorry for the things I said on the walk home. I meant all of it but I didn’t mean to say all of it. Things will be different here, I think. But I said that about New York and I said that about the old apartment and I let things inside and it ruins it all. I get lonely, and it’s not like I go looking for trouble but it seems to find me and swaddle me and make me feel safe in the chaos. I feel like if I lose myself in the dark then i won’t be me, and I’m really sorry, I know you like me and you think I’m sweet but I cannot stand being alone with myself. I’m not

You’re so handsome. I wish you’d stop smiling at me in my head. I wanna make you smile all the time and you’re so stoic most of the time. I was sitting in the bar waving my arms around like an idiot for that bartenders attention but really it was for yours, just to see if I could make you laugh. I made you laugh a lot tonight. Mission accomplished.

I can’t keep a thought straight. This is gonna be such a shit letter. Oh well. I’m gonna see you real soon, probably, and I’ll try not be in need of any carrying next time but I like being close to you, so maybe if you could just pretend I do, that would work out just fine.

With love,

Wednesday’s Child, full of whiskey.

Ps. I still think about that poem you wrote me when I touch myself.       ✠   send a MESSAGE?

The letter rests face-down on his chest, keeping him company during the high. Occasionally, he’ll lift it up and read it again, finding new meaning in every word and reopening a wound he didn’t even know he had. The drugs keep him from crying the same way he did when he first read it, but they can only numb so much. The ache is persistent, unyielding. Sometimes he has to change positions just to breathe. 

He wrote something, too, that night. Came home and scribbled some bullshit out onto a piece of paper that was promptly crumpled up and thrown away. You’re so handsome, I wish you’d stop smiling at me in my head, battling it out with the half-remembered fragment She thinks I’m handsome because / I don’t look her in the eyes too long. He’s so fucking worthless. She never should have sent this to him—she never should have written it. It’s a waste of talent, a waste of feeling, on somebody like him. 

He’s clinging to it like a lifeline, though. He’s wrapping himself up in the words like a warm blanket that still has the smell of somebody long gone. It’s such a human letter, full of human thoughts and ideas, and that innate goodness he always saw in her—so pure and raw and terrifying—bleeds all across the page. 

When he shuts his eyes, he goes back to that night and he doesn’t leave her house. He goes into her bedroom and he throws her on the bed like she’s been wanting him to do, cutting the clothes off her with a knife. When she parts her lips at the feeling of him he whispers into her mouth promise me you won’t let him inside, pinning her wrists above her head with one hand. She whimpers for him but doesn’t say anything so he says it again, growling this time, promise me you won’t fucking let him inside—

He comes to with the phone against his ear. It’s ringing, once, twice—and then she answers, because she never leaves him waiting long. He smiles sleepily. 

          “Hey, baby.”

[scribble-dribble-writes]

This written work is a little different to the ones I share here, but I felt the urge to put it out for some reason haha. It's my take on 'trust'. I've had a lot of people tell me recently that I should be more open and vulnerable, that concept is so weird. Like how do I go around just spilling everything that's dear to me to a stranger who literally has no interest in my life and then sit to watch them dissect it, to tell me how I need to feel and process it. But the moment you say no, they shift to talk about your 'trust issues' which I find very funny.

And I have a feeling this might give comfort to those who might find themselves in the same boat as me. To them I want to say what my mum told me in the morning, that it's ok to take time. To sit with yourself and build it up. (Maybe that's why I love Wakanda Forever)

That movie has single handedly put on screen a way to deal with these complex emotions tied to grief as a woman, that's it ok to be messy and feel angry for the past and how things have turned out, but you can process it and deal with it in your stride. I rewatch it so often for it's story but more so because it feels cathartic and I feel seen through these characters and their pain.

So let me know if you like this or not, haha I can once in a while share a couple others like these. 💖💖💖💖💖

Ryan Coogler this one's for you!! You've sparked my love for writing again ✨

Ps. I used to do drama in highschool so I just had to read this poem like it's a monologue 🤣

Trust is a flimsy thing

Its astonishing that as a kid,

the concept of trust is an abstract idea.

A lunch shared, best friends for life,

and you navigate through the phases,

get hurt in different places.

A scraped knee, a bruised eye,

a broken heart, a damaged ego.

It varies, the innocence fades,

our playground sporks are replaced with knives

and words, that cut deeper than most,

to leave wounds that never close,

that you may be eighty, to still harbor the pain

when no one showed up to your party.

The narrative shifts,

from friends to frenemies to enemies,

people begin to fail and there's no alternative to it.

You trust, it breaks, ductape it together to try again,

but now you encase it in platinum,

make it hard to get, to live in a castle

that becomes a prison,

when people cry out to tell you

not to bottle it in,

but you own a lot of bottles.

Better to have them contained, cold and frozen,

rather than share it, only for them to get drunk in it.

To then have critise its smell and acidity.

All my tears are tart and my memories sweet,

this vineyard is only for me to use.

Because when its shared, its never a secret

and with it, my privacy ripped like a veil.

With every step you get closer,

to see the real thing, to see the real me

and thats were trust becomes a flimsy thing.

I want to give it to you

but the past paints a different view.

One of betrayal and chaos

and the truth surfaces,

I don't want to be hurt again,

I don't want to be played again.

So I'll hold it out to you,

but clench it deep within my fingers,

so i can see you try and fail.

That in the end,

I'll live in my castle with the walls full of bottles,

like a skittish animal afraid of passing lights,

cause that's all it is, trust is a flimsy thing.

Once torn, its turns to rags,

that you use out of pity to wipe old paintbrushes

and say it had once been a decadent gown,

passed down for centuries,

only to see it reduced to nothing.

Cause value is arbitary and worth is self defined,

trust is a cellopane that holds these together.

It's a bubble that pops when your friend lies,

a bridge that burns when you cry,

because love can be unconditional,

but trust needs to be built out of cobblestone.

It needs time and care and effort.

So when I get critised for being slow to renovate

and quick to judge,

its only because my trust lays in shreds.

I need people who know to knit, to patch and stitch

cause with anyone else, rags with turn to threads.

Trust is a flimsy thing,

because its two way street,

you can't fix it on your own.

❤️❤️❤️

[wickedlittlecritta]

hi friend i never check tumblr anymore but i'm bored and i saw you shared writing asks that sounded really interesting owo pls answer 3, 4, 25, and 32 if you want to <3

hewwow my best beloved, your presence is a light on my dash <3 <3 <3

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?

okay so like. i don't have one. i can write on my notes ap on my phone just as well as i can write at my desk. possibly this is cursed, but i think it's just what comes of four years of workshop intensive school where i needed a story a week.

i have recently not been working very hard at writing due to the, you know (gestures vaguely at the everything) so for right now i just wait until a muse strikes and then i jump and catch it.

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

...the right word at the right time?

that feels like a cop out answer but like. what even is this question.

still very obsessed with где (gde, russian for "where") tho. good mouthfeel. fun to say.

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

...i don't think i can actually answer this. this is not how i think about characters or stories at all. realizing that the person who made this and i are on vastly different wavelengths about things lmao

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

He is slow, and the sea sings to us both, but he returns to me.

man i just...

i lost my horse skippy to navicular disease, which is a degenerative hoof condition. he was so so lame by the end, and still so sweet. we knew it would only get worse (we'd already squeezed out more good years than anyone had told us he'd get). he was the kind of head empty heart full horse that made people compare him to a golden retriever. he'd stick his nose in my pockets looking for treats and he'd try to hide behind me if he was scared of something. i got him when i was 12 and had him until my sophomore year of college.

my mom scheduled his appointment to be put down when i was away at school. he was at home with my parents and her horse and the vet who'd taken care of him for 7 years, but i wasn't there. i think my mom thought it would be easier on me. i agreed, because i think i thought it would be easier on her. i regret it every single day. that was my horse and i should have been there.

he was big and red and i know exactly how sean feels about corr in the scorpio races because that was me with skippy. that's my horse. and he would have come back to me if i asked him because he always did.

i read the scorpio races for the first time about four years after skippy died. and i think puck and dove are supposed to be the more relatable pair, but for me it's always been sean and corr.

He is slow, and the sea sings to us both, but he returns to me.

that's my horse.