#but it still feels like they are observing u no matter where you stand-

[darabeatha]

One (1) more thing

[marsprincess889]

VEDIC ASTRO OBSERVATIONS

Part 4

I thought, why not

Editing and finishing this as I have a face mask on

Bharanis are very sensitive, in a very misunderstood way. They're often either dangerously passive and stubborn or fiercely proactive, and this comes from the fact that they can read people well, and are sensitive to the energies around them. They know the importance of sticking to their own convictions/their way. Bharani is the place where you MUST NOT be fooled into submission and gaslighting, no matter who it comes from. It's where all kinds of forces try to enforce influence on you, right when you are so aware of your true calling/desire(s). That's why this nakshatra is so prominent in the charts of great philosophers and thinkers. They are defensive and secretive, but it all comes from the necessity to protect their truth, which is their life, and everything to them. Do not mistake their defensiveness as childish defiance. They know the pain of giving up and the strength it requires to stand up to themselves.

I said this multiple times, and I'm saying at again: ketu is VERY IMPORTANT. look at your ketu nakshatra and just take it in for a sec. Its infulence is on everything. Since you can rarely attribute that infulence on a specific thing in a person, it's often overlooked, but once you start looking at ketu in charts and apply it to the native/their life, you cannot unsee it. Also, when you are being natural, when life feels effortless and when you don't think a lot, oftentimes the appearance of your ketu will come to the surface, i mean, you'll be able to see it physically. Ik I don't look like my ketu nakshatra at first glance but boy do i see it when I look in the mirror, and I like it a lot. Oftentimes, as I've noticed, people love their ketu.

Your true essence, I think, is moon+ketu(very personal and mostly private but extremely important. They color the most of your inner world), then sun+ascendant(your way of dealing with the world, also very important) and atmakaraka+amatyakaraka(your path to yourself). Your chart ruler(ruling planet of your rising sign) is kind of separate but still visible, and it colors the whole chart, but unlike ketu, it's more on the surface and more visible in the native's behavior. I'm not saying you should disregard other placements, but this is how I see them.

Some nakshatras that I think are most prone to agitation/reactiveness(in order of their appearance from Ashwini to Revati, not ranked): Ardra, Ashlesha, Chitra, Vishakha, Purva Ashadha(?), Dhanishta.

In contrast, most stoic and hard to get a reaction out of: Pushya, Magha, Purva Phalguni, Uttara Phalguni, Uttara Ashadha, Shatabhisha, Uttara Bhadrapada.

Ketu in Ashlesha is dangerous like I know it personally(I don't have it tho). Ketu, unless exalted and/or developed by the native(conciously or subconciously) is mostly in a state of ignorance. Ashlesha is, dare I say, the most manipulative placement, but the tragedy is that Ashlesha natives kinda need it, that's what they know. It's the torturous place of attachments and distance and forced attachments and forced distance, of abuse and healing and alertness on a deeply nervous and emotional level. Ketu, the planet of raw, dangerously powerful stored energy and experience in a place like that can be horrible, for both the native and the people around them, especially if the native is unaware of their behavior.

Uttara Phalgunis can be taken for granted by others, especially people they're close to, but those people still refuse to let the U. Phalguni native go. They're so "Sunny" and supportive that some people refuse to take them seriously. The thing with Sun nakshatras though is that they have inner strength and are in no way naive, they just have trust because they trust themselves and know and are proud of their convictions. U. Phalgunis' convictions almost always include support and loyalty to people close to them/dear to their heart, but unfortunately, not everyone can appreciate that for what it is and pass it off as naivety. Mostly it comes from people who value manipulation, which Uttara Phalgunis hate. Uttara Phalguni women/girls especially can be seen as "good girls" at first glance, or as "vanilla", but in reality, it's based on their inner strength and trust in themselves. Ik this sounds biased, that's just because it's personal and I know many examples of it, mine and others. This one's for the "good" ones.

Interesting thing I've noticed: Krittikas, despite being a Sun nakshatra, have a reputation of being "aggressive"? I would not say they're aggressive, but they can be more reactive than other sun nakshatras. Krittika starts in Aries(ram), which is ruled by the active Mars. It's yoni animal is a sheep/goat/ram(sources vary). I mean, its essence is that of fire, and its meaning is "to cut", so, they're kind of aggressive about their individuality/selectivity/. They're aggressively stoic, if that makes sense.

To expand on the point above, a great way to understand nakshatras is to view their ruling planet as what is given/what we have, and the rashi(s) that it's in as what is done with it. So, for example, if Bharani is about protecting/defending(mars/aries) beauty, life and love(Venus), Mrigashira(the Taurus part) is about beautifying/enjoying(passive venus/taurus) pursuit/defiance(Mars). You can see how different those are, especially because a planet ruling a rashi is not the same as a planet ruling a nakshatra, they manifest slightly differently.

Another great way to understand nakshatras is to learn their mythology. I am very well aware that different sources say different things, and ik it's more tiring than rewarding to go from site to site but you can take little details that are consistent and stick to them. For example, Revati's god Pushan is known as the one who guides, who nourishes, but he's the nourishing form of a Sun god. So now you see that Revati is solar in nature, rather than Saturnian(its opposite). It's all about association and how different associations relate to each other. I think this kind of approach is better than relying on other people's opinions and observations.

So, this is all I guess?

Interact pleaseeeeeeeeee 😩💕 esp reblog and comment

[basimdasasonst]

tos spock: logic may be a philosophical path that i have dedicated much of my life to the path of -- as far as considering and almost completing kolinahr -- but it does not make me all that i am. i am a person outside of my physicalities, with wants, needs, and other such things that i can allow myself through the cracks of my teachings

snw spock: did u know im a vulcan. only half tho ... raagaghaahhah ... (meek noises of protest against his humanity)

no. but seriously. on that ... thing of an snw s3 recap: others have divested much more time and energy into talking about vulcan philosophy vs biology (and there's a plethora of very good takes about it if you do only the most minor of searching) so i won't harp on the matter, but i want to step back and observe the writing and characterisation beyond the colossal fuck up that is -- well, their disintegration of vulcan culture/complexities.

[i'll -- try to keep this brief but no promises. i did spend 2000 words ranting about how badly they did spock so, brevity thy name is not basimdasas]

let me just. let's just pretend we can get over the fact they mixed biology with philosophy. let's just let that slide for a second. why -- and i cannot stress this enough -- the fuck do (pike, uhura, la'an, chapel -- i'll call them fake vulcans for my own sake) the fake vulcans talk the fucking same ... ? moreover -- why are they the same person -- logical. Purely Wholey Logical (trademark). if you transcribed the text of the 5 minute episode we were given and took out the dialogue tags -- they're. they're all the same person. you cannot tell who's talking, maybe through context clues. Guys. (shakes the writers really hard, enough to give an adult shaken baby syndrome) VULCANS HAVE PERSONALITIES TOO. i've felt a small undercurrent of this in the previous seasons but it feels directly amplified to me now -- spock's "humanity" is -- is his personality. They're making his personality his humanity. dude.

let me put it this way: you put two nihilists in a room. they've grown up in different ways, in different places, and were introduced to nihilism by their parents who also believed and practised in the philosophy. you let them talk. they're going to disagree, they might even get angry at the other. they'll agree. if there is something inherently correct that they can both acknowledge, they will have different viewpoints of tackling the concept -- based not just on the objective teachings, but the environment they grew up in, their communities, their parents, and their own personal traits. now let's take them out of the box. you compare the two at a distance: one likes grape smoothies, the other likes peach. one is a morning person, one is not. one is a competitive swimmer. one works in an office. they both find relative comfort from their jobs, even if in different ways. they are both nihilists. yet, inextricably, they are different in many ways.

ONLY VULCANS WHO HAVE UNDERGONE KOLINAHR WOULD LACK EMOTIONS. VULCANS STILL HAVE EMOTIONS THEY JUST TAMP THEM DOWN.

ok. calm. i'm drawing a tad on my experience as a trans man with gender here, but there are some things about us that are fundamental to our being that we are inherently drawn to for various reasons, i believe. i mean, that's what personality is, in a severe nutshell. that's why we have assholes who continue to be assholes (garner pleasure from it, usually). people who continue to let themselves get stepped over (never learned to stand up for themselves, environmental factor, or is afraid, or what have you). people who learn from their mistakes (ambition, or an intense desire for personal growth. where does this desire come from? changes per person. it's never the same). people who don't. kind people. mean people. we can change our personalities (with heavy work), but they are as much a product of emotion as they are environment, personal wants, personal needs, etc. everyone is built different (lol, but literally) -- and there really are truly some things we cannot just -- purge, by a point. example: i know in my heart that i am not a woman. i gravitate towards anger. i have never been good at history, no matter the angle i tackle it from. there will never be a day where i read the fine print of a legal document. i could become good at history, i am fixing my anger, but i will always naturally gravitate right where i want to be, and right where i need to be. i will always understand numbers better than words, because that's -- just how my brain works. my memory might always be a little wonky. this is all ok. fuck, it might not be logical that i'm so utterly useless at history, and sure i can work to change it, but i will always find myself more comfortable and more at ease in physics with the same amount of work. the logical thing from there is to just accept my weaknesses and move with my strengths. see where i'm going with this? and sure, i can definitely change most of my personality, but it's hard. sometimes that effort is good sometimes it's not. we have natural tendencies. we have different wants, different needs. and by the universe do we not all share the same body -- we will amble around in our flesh suits differently. my gait will be different than yours; it is no less of a walk.

anyway. tangent aside. short story -- we gravitate to things. that's natural. that's logical. diversity of a species is logical -- especially for society.

now, vulcans, in my heart of hearts, are definitely more subtle about these things because, you know, surak, but. if every vulcan was the same and had the same inherent -- wants, needs, interests, subdued emotions, way of headbutting logic -- then you have a society of mirrors. snw is trying to make vulcan society a society of mirrors.

pike is caring. la'an is quiet, strict, efficent. uhura, also, is caring but in a different way to pike. chapel is enthusiastic. by embracing suraks teachings and (magically, mysteriously) acting in accordance to them fully, they are effectively tamping down their greater feelings. not completely ridding of them. despite the fact that vulcan!pike would logically find no sense in compassion, he would also find no sense in cruelty. he is, to his heart, a compassionate person because he has made himself one. one philosophical revelation wouldn't remove decades of that. sure, he might tamp it down, but he'd still be more compassionate than anything else. he would not be cruel for logic's sake -- even if, yes, there's only "4.5 vulcans", logically -- he wouldn't say that. he wouldn't fucking say that because he is kind hearted and though it's true, it would feel "illogical to point out" -- he is good with people. has been for the duration of the show, and probably a good majority before that. he'd understand the emotions of others regardless, he's very perceptive. he'd see spock flinch at "a half". he'd roundabout it in that way that tos spock loved to do -- talk in half truths. "5 people to beam down" is not wrong. it is imprecise but not wrong. (bones voice) goddammit, they're not all the same damn stereotypical rude vulcan asshole. i haven't read surak's teachings but i severely doubt he said, at any point: "harp on an unnecessary fact to be a total douchebag as often as vulcanely possible".

this goes for everyone too -- la'an is more the silent efficent type. why would she feel the need to say ... much of anything to the effect? spock knows he's half vulcan. everyone does. what the fuck does it bring to the table to reiterate it? nothing.

you're doing the jj abrams special: creating conflict where they should be none, and ignoring a greater place to create conflict. seriously, even if i do believe the whole thing about genetics that chapel does (WHICH! BY THE WAY! THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IT'S BEEN MENTIONED/PLOT RELEVANT SINCE 1X01!) why is spock not, instead, helping them regulate their emotions? why are they not like pre-reform vulcans? why not use this to help us stir a bit in spock's head instead of using an out that isn't "making spock the butt of the joke". why can't he show vulcan!kindness as he's so often showing in tos. mf let me into that writers room i just want to talk i ju-

also, the dialogue was super cringy. sorry, it was. i say this as a writer who has written super cringy dialogue before and occasionally does so now. it was cringy. i've written better at the age of 12 in the margins of my maths notebook while bored out of my mind. some of these lines made me tense up. misplaced, or corny, or so severely out of character that it gave me a genuine headache by minute 2 of 5, or what have you: t'was cringy. so so so bad.

i -- selfishly, almost -- hope that it's not too late to go back and fix it, but since filming has long wrapped up -- well. it's probably a moot point, but i'm deeply annoyed. again, i really want to like snw, but everything "spock" (and, by extension, vulcan) has been butchered so badly that watching the show is rather like reading a fic you really like with one tag that just ruins the whole thing. like you'll stick it out, but begrudgingly, and not with a lot of joy in your heart because of -- i don't know, some weirdly prevalent "daddy kink".

tl;dr -- we are not just a product of the objective teachings of our beliefs, and vulcans are not only reflections of surak's teachings.

snw writers: please kick jj abrams out of your writing room. he's not doing you any favours

[irisxstardust]

2 | Shut Up

SUMMARY: You and Ellie used to be friends until one day when she decided she was done. You hadn't spoken to her since and now, five years later, you are given the unfortunate task of going on patrol with the girl. A little argument and one stalker later, you're playing her hero. But is it enough to repair the damage made to your relationship all those years ago?

A/N: i hate it but i dont. also guys sorry if its bad i literally got like disowned while writing this so im sorry if it falls off in the middle i tried lmfao. i also struggled for like a whole day trying to outline this i am so sorry LMFAOO love u anyway

CW: swearing, suggestive language, cliffhanger😇

WC: 2393

"Do you want to talk?"

You stared at her for a minute, completely dumbfounded by the sudden imposition.

"About... you know, everything?" she continued, her own eyes darting around the room looking everywhere but at you.

You stand there still, opening and closing your mouth like a fish out of water.

"It's kind of- um cold out here, if you don't mind so..."

She was tangling her fingers together again and again as you finally opened the door wider and stepped off to the side for her.

"Sorry, sorry," you finally said, letting the door swing shut. "My parents are out right now at work so we can just... talk here." You tried to laugh but it came out broken and shaky.

She nodded, also trying to chuckle lightly about the situation at hand. She took an extra moment and observed you - which made you all the more uncomfortable as you thought of the image of yourself in the mirror from earlier.

You both stood awkwardly in the doorway for a moment, just looking around and breathing heavily.

"I made cookies," you offered, nervously turning toward the kitchen. You walked lightly, almost speeding off to be in a room where Ellie was not.

She followed uncertainly, taking a deep breath as you pulled a chair out at the island for her.

You started speaking as you reached over the sink to open the window, "what do you want to talk about first?"

Ellie paused, eyes scanning the plate of cookies you placed on the table in front of her, "just... you know." She shrugged, resting her elbows on the edge of the table.

"Patrol? The party?" you suggested, trying to spark her memory and get her talking.

If she wanted to talk so bad, you were going to make her start the conversation.

"No, no. Not that. Not yet. I just... feel like I should apologize. Not about that but about that thing I said - a couple years ago. I don't know if you remember it but-"

"I remember."

You remembered it perfectly. You spent every waking minute trying to forget. You never did. No matter what you did to forget her you always remembered by morning. You picked up every possible job available to you in an attempt to at least move on a little - but by nighttime, when you were alone, it was the only thing you had to think about.

She inhaled sharply, "Thought so."

"Why do you want to apologize now?" You moved to sit down in the chair next to hers, brushing your hair back behind your ears. "I mean, isn't it a little late?"

But isn't this what you wanted?

You used to dream of the day that Ellie Williams would stop by your house to apologize - she would always join you in your room and give you a million reasons why, always give you a long, drawn out speech about how sorry she was. However, she would also admit that she was madly in love with you and that she thought of you just as much as you thought of her (which, by now, you thought was absolutely ridiculous, right?).

"It's... complicated," her eyes finally found yours as she paused. "You didn't deserve that. I was just-"

"Scared?"

She hummed, briefly looking down as a small smile tugged at her mouth, "only a little."

You chuckled, reaching for a cookie, "is that all I get? 'I'm sorry, Y/N, I was scared!'"

She laughed too, shaking her head and rubbing her forehead with her fingertips, "what else do you want?"

And you're biting back a suggestive smirk by digging your top teeth into your bottom lip, averting your eyes to the table, "I could think of a few things."

She seemingly picked up on the tone as well because when she responded she was also biting back a grin, "oh really? Like what? Care to show me some examples?"

You began to speak but laughter exploded through the room as you cut yourself off.

"I thought you had ideas, hmm?"

"Is that it, Williams? Because I am about three- no two seconds from kicking you out of my house," you threatened, little laughs laced through your words.

"Yeah, how about don't fucking call me that!" The words are harsh but her tone was playful as you both laughed.

Was it always this easy?

It felt like every time you and Ellie put the past aside - all things considered - you really got along. You made meaningful conversation and you really did enjoy her company. You fell into that same easy rhythm just as you had at the party the night prior; except this time there was no way Cat could interrupt again.

"I'll call you what I want," you finally said, "Williams."

She rolled her eyes at you while biting into a cookie, her eyes lighting up at the taste, "these are really good!"

"Thank you, oh my god," you laughed, wiping cookie crumbs off your hands. "My dad found the recipe in some old apartment a few years ago. They're snicker-doodles and I make them all the time; they're actually my favorite food ever."

That's how you spent the rest of your day; sitting right alongside Ellie, eating cookies, and cracking jokes. You did also get her to delve a little deeper and truly apologize for some of the stuff she said to you.

You were on cloud nine far after Ellie left your house, which prompted you to skip down to Dina's house to tell her all the good news.

"Dina!" you sang as bounced into her house, "I have news!"

You found Dina and Jesse resting on her couch, watching a new movie on the TV.

"Haven't you ever heard of knocking?"

"Sorry, I forgot."

She laughed, "what is so important that you need to come running into my house at four PM on a Monday? Aren't you supposed to be at the daycare helping your mom?"

"No, I didn't feel that good this morning," you sat down on her couch across from her, "but that's not the news."

"What's up?"

You bit your lip excitedly, "I talked to Ellie today."

Dina's expression stayed happy, but Jesse's changed from happiness to something similar to outright shock. "About what?" he asked.

"She just kind of apologized for all that stuff she said-"

"And you accepted it?"

"Yeah, of course. I thought it was nice I..." you trailed off.

Jesse's reaction was certainly not one you were expecting. Sure, he wasn't too excited the last time you'd talked to Ellie but even now? Even after she sought you out and went to your house with the soul purpose of apologizing to you? It still wasn't good enough for him.

"I mean it's not really about you, Jesse. She apologized to me and I accepted it. That should be enough for you."

"It is, Jesse's just being stupid," Dina finally said, smacking Jesse's knee lightly with the back of her hand. "I'm glad you guys talked it out. You talk about anything else after?"

You nodded, eyes still on Jesse's disapproving expression, "oh yeah just... normal stuff. We ate some cookies and stuff and then you know. We talked."

"Its just," all eyes turned to Jesse as he paused, "a little quick, don't you think? Does she really deserve forgiveness or do you just not care because you're head over heels for her?"

"Excuse me?"

"C'mon, we all see it. Right?" He casted a look to Dina looking for reassurance, but found none. "Oh don't tell me you've never thought about it! Hasn't Ellie told you too that-"

"Jesse, stop." The hardness in Dina's voice made Jesse stop completely, his eyes unmoving from hers.

"Hasn't Ellie told you what?" You looked between the pair, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Nothing, Jesse doesn't know what he's talking about," Dina gave Jesse a hard look before she turned back to face you dead on. "Did you want to stay the night? I found an old copy of Jurassic Park on patrol. We're only a couple minutes in if you want to stay."

It was convincing, sure, but Jesse's attitude had turned your stomach and you were no longer interested. The interaction had spoiled your happy mood, making you all the more interested in going home.

"Thanks but... I'll pass. I'll stop by another day to watch it if you want, though."

You bid your goodbyes as quickly as possible, taking a quick peak at the clock before leaving. Five minutes. You talked to Dina for only five minutes. You wanted to stay and talk all about it, you wanted to stay overnight and tell Dina how nice Ellie was; but you didn't. You left after five minutes.

The interaction at Dina's was on your mind for far longer than you would've liked. For a week straight the only thing on your mind was Jesse's words - and Ellie.

You now felt beyond awkward whenever Jesse approached you, and you began to feel the same with Dina. Why couldn't he just be happy for you? You finally got what you wanted after years and it wasn't enough?

The entire situation sat in the front of your brain - like an itch you could never scratch - until Ellie came to you one day as you were leaving the stables.

"Hey, Dina invited me to a party at Tipsy Bison. Are you coming?"

"Oh," that was new. "I didn't know there was a party."

Ellie's face twisted into one full of massive confusion, "she didn't tell you? I figured you were the first to know."

You shook your head, "I- yeah no. Never heard about it."

Ellie hesitated, "well, will you go anyway?"

"Why should I? I mean if Dina doesn't fucking want me there-"

"But I want you there."

You stopped moving completely, turning to face Ellie. "What?"

"I am inviting you to go to that party. With me. Together."

You didn't speak.

"It'll be fun; and if it isn't then we can leave. You and me."

"You and me?"

She nodded, and as you stared into her eyes the distance was no longer there. She stared into you with a certain warmth that had butterflies swirling round and round in your stomach.

"When?"

The party was only a few days away and was particularly late at night. You knew that if Dina had asked you about it you would've immediately said no.

But you couldn't say no when Ellie was looking at you so warm and full of light. It was all you'd wanted since you met her. So you agreed.

You'd spent the remaining days you had until the party to prepare yourself. You didn't dare bring it up to Dina when you met her for patrol the morning of. You didn't dare mention it to Jesse as you briefly conversed with him while putting your horse back. You just didn't mention it.

You tried to forget - but you obviously aren't very good at that - so you ended up passing some time - as you do - with the kids at the daycare.

Ellie met you outside the daycare as you exited, her hands tucked into her pants pocket as she leaned against the wall. She lit up as you walked towards her, her mouth twisting into a grin.

She walked with you on the way to the bar, her arms brushing against yours every now and again.

You anticipated seeing Dina again under the string lights, you anticipated the way she might react. I mean you were friends, you still loved her - so why were you so worried?

Besides, it wasn't really Dina’s problem anyway; Jesse was the one who was so upset about it.

The walk was short, mostly fueled by your anxiety filled speed, and you wasted no time in walking through the doors. Might as well get it over with.

You didn't see Dina for what felt like hours.

You looked for her and Jesse but you didn't find them. So you danced and you drank and you found yourself mostly preoccupied with Ellie. She definitely helped you forget about the anxiety bubbling in the pit of your stomach.

So much so, in fact, that you didn't feel anything but pure joy until you were staring Dina in the face.

“You didn't tell me you were coming!” was the first statement out of her mouth.

“Sorry. I was going to but-”

“I’m glad you came,” Dina smiled, but a certain hardness in her eyes made you second guess the response. “You didn't look too happy at the last party so I didn't want to bother you with another.”

You opened your mouth to speak but she began again.

“Who even managed to drag you here?”

You hesitated, “Ellie.”

Dina began to speak, saying something about how happy she was to hear about your friendship, but you stopped listening.

You sat in a daze for the rest of the night, trying to go back to enjoying yourself but you mostly just questioned yourself. Was there ever any issue with Dina? Why were things so awkward? Was it you?

At some point you lazily trudged off to the bathroom, hoping to just take a quiet breather and recuperate from your thoughts, but the line outside of it was enough to turn you away and send you sneaking off through the doors.

You brushed sticky baby hairs out of your face with your fingers, rubbing your eyes and breathing in deeply. You plopped down onto the ground and leaned against the wall. The streets were barren and dusky, small lamps from inside buildings illuminating the city.

After a few moments the door opened and closed and one very important person walked over to stand beside you.

“Are you feeling okay?” Ellie asked, stuffing her hands into her pockets.

“Yeah. Just a little overwhelmed.”

She hummed, “about what?”

You paused.

“Everything?”

“Everything.”

You slowly stood up, finally looking directly at her.

She had a small smirk on her face as she replied, “we all know you think too much. Stop thinking.”

You laughed, “how am I supposed to stop thinking, Williams?”

“I could think of a few ways.”

You managed to respond with, “Like what?” just as she leaned a little closer to you, her hands reaching out towards you.

“You’ll see.”

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Super 114

Some guy in my replies: “No u don’t understand that’s a Yakuza reference all the criminal gangs in Japan hold hands like this it’s how they tell each other they like crime.”

Last time Goku started fighting Caulifla and Kale to show them Super Saiyan 3, but we’ve scratched that itch and now they just want to defeat him in battle.   So Kale powers up to her maximum, but she still has that little problem of being able to control herself at this level.

And Goku would know, since she clobbered him pretty good the last time she did this.

Caulifla, on the other hand, is all for it.

Elsewhere, Vegeta and Top have been fighting, but Vegeta keeps getting distracted by what Goku’s up to.  The girls have been improving dramatically since the tournament began, and I guess that’d be hard to ignore. 

Top admits that the Saiyans are a remarkable people, and Vegeta can’t help but take this opportunity to point at himself and talk about how he’s the best Saiyan of all. 

So Kale finishes hulking up, and Caulifla is worried at first that Kale still can’t recognize her in this form, but she takes her hand anyway and assures her that they’ll push forward together no matter what.  This somehow reaches Kale, and...

She changes back to her “happy medium” form, and regains her personality.  And yet, everyone observes that she still retains the power she had in the her jacked up state.  So somehow she’s finally gotten a handle on her Super Saiyan form. 

Meanwhile, Goku notices that his hands are trembling. With excitement, I guess? He’s been excited about a good fight before, though, and this time he acts like he doesn’t understand. 

It’s like I was saying before, this time is different for him.  He’s got these two younger Saiyans fighting him, and they’re pushing him out of his slump from Jiren clobbering him.  But they’re also sitting under the learnin’ tree, and he’s showing them things they’ve never understood before.  He’s finally getting to spend quality time with his own people, and the culture he never got to experience because his homeworld was destroyed.  And I think he understands that on some unconscious level. 

The closest example I can think of to compare this to is like when he was sparring with teen Goten in one of the last episodes of Z, or that barn-burner he had with Gohan in Episode 90 of this show.  He had the same sense of satisfaction, but he could tell himself that it was a father-son moment.  Here’s he’s having the same kind of feeling, but with strangers, and he doesn’t get it. 

Or maybe he’s parsing these romantic undertones without realizing it.  Kale starts out saying she’ll follow Caulifla’s lead, but Caulifla insists that they fight as equals.  Remember, they’re part of an outlaw gang back in Universe 6, and Caulifla’s the leader of that gang.  But she’s not the leader of their relationship, which is why I get so irritated with randos who keep trying to interpret this whole thing in terms of Yakuza stuff, or taking the “sister” thing too literally.   You know who’s actually a blood relative of Caulifla?  This guy:

Renso speaks highly of Caulifla, but he’s not part of her gang and he seems to have closer ties to Cabba from their time in the Sadala Defense Force.  I’m pretty sure Caulifla never even mentions her brother at all. 

You know who’s part of the inner circle of Caulifla’s gang?  This dude:

Not Cabba, I mean the anonymous guy with the pompadour mussing Cabba’s hair.  He must be a pretty big wheel in this gang or he wouldn’t be acting so high and mighty in Caulifla’s presence.  We never learn anything about this guy, except that he defers to her without question.   And we know this is where all the big shots in Caulifla’s gang hang out, because Kale’s standing just off screen. 

You know who calls Caulifla her “one and only”?  Who Caulifla looks at with unrestrained adoration?  Who Caulifla keeps holding tenderly? 

Seriously, what gang sign is this?  Harold, they’re lesbians.  Honestly, I don’t even care that much, but every time some weenie trolls my #caulifla tag and tries to deny or downplay this, I just get more convinced.  Because they’re always like “no no they’re not gay they’re not gay u just don’t understand gangs” and I’m like just give it up already.  Seriously, who are you trying to convince, me or yourself?

Look, I’m old enough to remember when Simpsons fans used to argue about whether Smithers was gay.  I can admit that I once thought there might be some heterosexual explanation for his whole bit.   But that was thirty years ago, and these two goofballs are constantly gazing into each other’s eyes.  Don’t piss on my head and tell me it’s raining. 

Now, where was I?  Oh, right, Caulifla and Kale start fighting Goku and whoopin’ his ass.

Bam!

PONCH!

Pursuit!

Goku starts to get boxed in, so he uses a Solar Flare.  I like how he still says “Sorry, Tien, but I’m borrowing your move!” before he uses it.  Meanwhile Krillin spams Solar Flare more than Goku and Tien put together, and he doesn’t even acknowledge the creator. 

Caulifla misses Goku and eats a faceful of rocks, so Kale gets upset and attacks Goku on her own.  She’s a house of fire!

Then they run across Frieza, who decides he wants in on this, but Goku tells him this is a private party. 

I know Frieza has a bigger role to play near the end of the tournament, but I gotta say he’s a real pain in the ass here in the middle.  He keeps standing around talking about how he’s going to do horrible things to his opponents, but he hardly ever jumps in and fights. It’s almost like he’s still that lazy fuck who spent most of the Namek Saga sitting in his scooter and drinking wine.  Anyway, Goku tells him to fuck on outta here. 

Also, Catopesra shows up to offer Frieza a different challenger, but Frieza ignores him completely, so clearly Frieza’s just phony tough.  Catopesra even changes the “P” on his costume into an “S”, but Frieza doesn’t care.

Anyway, Goku gears up for the next round, and Caulifla says he sure is confident, and Goku admits that he’s not.  Make no mistake, he’s not toying with these ladies. 

So then... wait, seriously?

I spent so much time talking about the other handholding scene that I forgot about this one. 

Which issue of “Way of the House-Husband” is this from?  Like, the main guy’s talking about laundry detergent with someone, and then he goes “I like to hold hands with my wife”, and the lady he’s talking to is confused because everyone knows holding hands is a thing criminals do to express how loyal they are to their boss, and the more murders you commit, the longer you have to hold their hand. 

So they do the bit where they make a dust cloud and Goku uses his senses to locate them, but that was the plan.  Kale traps his arm, setting Goku up for...

Fuck yeah!

See, some of you may be confused, so let me break it down for you.  The “sworn sister”, hand-holding, the “weeping at the though of being apart” stuff?  That’s Caulifla and Kale being gay.  This part?  Where one holds him while the other beats the shit out of him?  That’s the gangster stuff.

“WHERE’S MY FUCKING MONEY!”

“Gettin’ real tired of you ducking me, man!”

I can see it now.  “tumblr user dipshit89 replied to your post: But but Kale’s holding Goku’s arm and that doesn’t prove she loves him!” 

I forgot how he got out of this one, so I had to look up a YouTube clip of this, and basically Caulifla went for a spin kick to his head, which gave Goku enough time to duck and swing around Kale to reverse her hold.  Goku’s the man.  This fight rocks so hard. 

Likewise, I couldn’t get a good shot of this action, but Goku tries to teleport after he breaks free, but Caulifla’s seen that too many times, so she throws a ki blast behind her, guessing that’s where he’s going to reappear, and she’s right on the money.  I think that’s the first time we’ve seen any character scout the Instant Transmission.   Cell was just so fast that it didn’t bother him much, and I think every other character Goku has fought since then has been the same way, just rolling with the fact that Goku can teleport, rather than learning to anticipate how Goku uses it in a fight. 

Well, Frieza used the same strategy to beat Jimmiz, but I don’t think that counts, because with Jimmiz teleporting was pretty much all the guy does, so it wasn’t exactly difficult to predict.  Goku’s whole deal is that he’ll go so long without Instant Transmission that you almost forget he can do it whenever he wants. 

So Goku finally turns it up to Super Saiyan God.  Well, I say finally like he’s been holding back up to now.  This whole thing has been kind of similar to the way Goku started out against Jiren, except that in the Jiren fight, Goku was fresh, and he was deliberately working his way up to the higher transforms to feel Jiren out.  Here, Goku isn’t waiting to use Super Saiyan God.  Chances are he couldn’t use Super Saiyan God until now.  And it’s likely he’d still rather wait a little longer, but if he keeps fighting at SSJ2 he’s gonna get his ass kicked, so it’s now or never.

But now, Caulifla and Kale aren’t so impressed.  They went into this eager to see Super Saiyan 3, and now Goku’s showing them an even higher form and they’re like “Yeah, we can still take him.”

Goku opens with fingerguns.  Wait, there’s ki blasts coming out of there, that fingergun is loaded!   Watch out!

Kind of weird to see Goku using a beam attack.  Someone should write a fanfic set before this fight where Goku fights a memorable opponent with a beam attack and that sort of serves as a call-forward to this fight, where he uses a similar beam attack here.  It’s me, I should be doing that.

So things go as they did before, except this time Goku’s much harder to double-team.

Not sure Kale’s entirely on-model here, but I still like this shot.

The girls stay on him, though.  Kale manages to catch Goku in a big green ki blast, and Caulifla’s like “Yeah, you got him!”

But Goku just swims up the blast and clobbers her.  Shades of Cooler’s Revenge!

Then Goku fires two ki blasts at once.  Kale struggles mightily against one of them...

... While Caulifla tries to dodge the other.   Except Goku’s steering it to chase her.  Now, as Goku recovers his strength, we begin to see the gap between their powers.  They were doing well against him as a Super Saiyan 2, but in this form, Goku can sling around bigger, more powerful ki attacks and overwhelm them, despite their numerical advantage.

Kale manages to toss her ki blast up into the air, but Caulifla gets caught before Kale can help.  And that one blast pretty much took Caulifla out of the fight.  She doesn’t want to quit, but she knows she’s finished, and Kale can’t fight Goku alone.

Goku congratulates them for their great talent, but he says they need to learn how to “finish a fight”.  I didn’t understand what he meant before, but now I get it.  They probably had Goku cornered at least a few times before he turned Super Saiyan God.  If they had capitalized on that advantage, they could have defeated him before he ever got the chance to make it to Super Saiyan God.  Or, more accurately, if they had known how to capitalize on that advantage while they had it. 

It goes back to that “street brawler” thing Whis said about Caulifla last episode.  She’s good, but she lacks the martial arts background that Goku has, so there’s a lot of subtle aspects of a fight that she doesn’t know how to deal with.  As we saw, she’s a quick study, and Goku could show her what to do through fighting a lot faster than explaining it.  And the same holds true for Kale.  But ultimately, no matter how much they improve from fighting Goku, their basic approach to fighting is the same: Pound the other guy down until he can’t continue. 

And that usually works, but in this case Goku was getting stronger, not weaker, as the fight progressed.  Their best bet was to put him away early instead of trying to wear him down.  Their moment was probably about the beginning of this episode, where Kale reached her full power and Goku wasn’t ready to go God Mode on them yet. 

But they didn’t know how to seize that opportunity, so they just kept attacking and waiting for a better opportunity that never came.  It’s like when I play chess and I focus more on trying to take out all the opponent’s pieces instead of looking for checkmates.  That approach can work, but it also gives your opponent loads of time to find a way to checkmate you. 

Anyway, Goku’s got the clear advantage here, and he starts preparing a Kamehameha to blow them both out of the ring.  But Caulifla reminds Kale of that thing they got before the tournament began, and says it’s time they fought together “all the way”. 

But Goku is unaware of this plan, so as he blasts them (and a chunk of the stage) away, he doesn’t notice something cool is happening.

Awwww yeah.

It’s Kefla Time, Bay-Bay!

This was Champa’s secret plan all along.  Before the tournament began, he gave Potara earrings to the girls and told them to put them on near the end of the tournament.  They didn’t understand, but he insisted that they trust him on this.  And so they have, and here we are. 

This tournament fucking rules.  We’ve seen everything else so far.  Spirit Bombs, Evil Containment Waves, like four or five Hellzone Grenades.  It’s been five years and I still can’t believe they brought back Android 17.  So yeah, let’s throw in some good ol’ fusion. 

EVEN VEGETA IS AFRAID

Kefla is so strong and fast and cool that she overshoots Goku when she jumps over to him. 

Goku tries to punch her, but he misses. 

Here’s KISS with “Unholy”.

[salted-caramel-tea]

What are your thoughts about?

I was gonna try and collect my thoughts coherently before I started talking bu ti cant be bothered doing that so like. about the dream and that one circle of mcyt that just fucking hate them .

actually this is about how I have felt observing the dream space recently.

im uncomfortable?? not with the dream team, I still really love them and I enjoy their content and I do still watch sap naps streams if im awake for them but honestly taking time just to spend time on my f1 blog has been like a weight lifted from my shoulders.

just talking about dtblr, ive seen people trying to make the best of the situation by live-blogging sapnaps streams making jokes spreading positivity for all 3 of them but it doesn't really of much to take away from the pressure of the situation. Every day it seems like some cc somewhere has something to say about dream or George or sapnap and every day we rush over here to discuss it. it almost feels like theres this pressure to perform and to respond to what is being said, we need to discuss everything as a controversy no matter how stupid or insignificant the situation is and we contribute to the snowballing of tiny things that honestly dont need the attention the theyre getting and its tiring to watch. like im at the point where im scrolling past 'did you see what x said' because honestly I dont give a shit I dont give a shit about a cc who spoke to the dteam on discord maybe twice talking about their 'truth' I really dont care .

im genuinely just fed up with the way the creator space and fan spaces behave. Dream posts 'pls talk to me' and creators say 'but that won't get me clout' back to him.

who gives a shit if dreams stole punz girlfriend. who cares if dream sent a dm that might have been considered rude to Sara Simons a fully grown ducking middle aged woman with better things to do than start twitter drama. who gives a shit about sniff having one insignificant negative interaction with dream over a year. none f this is your fucking turret its just airing out high school level petty drama that could easily be fixed with a fucking dm . its pathetic. the way so many creators are going 'I too am a victim' and its 'he sent me a private message I didnt like' who fucking cares. and all of this 'ill stream explaining my story' what story. that he made a joke in bad taste. its performative. they want views they want twitters support they want to seem like theyre on the RIGHT side so theyre just pulling any old story out of their ass to add to the mentality of the mob and make it seem like yes I too hate dream because he is so awful when in reality he was probably just a bit of a twat like a lot of guys in their early 20s are . the only way hes gonna know that he did something that made u annoyed or upset or even mildly fucking miffed in the case of Sara fucking Simons is if you tell him. and we saw that bc 5 mins later shes saying oh its all fine he messaged me . see how fucking easy it is to actually fix these tiny ass issues if you actually have a conversation before launching a hate campaign on twitter dot com . and people going off to run with it and add it to the pile of 'poof' they have. hell ive seen someone saying they appreciate dream saying they want to talk about situations and saying they want to chat with him about an experience they had with one of his friends like what does that have to do with dream actually why not just take the initiative and talk to the actual person involved instead of making dream do it for u. its all just drama mongering

on a more serious note I really dont know how to feel with the whole situation with caiti. George didi fuck up and im not moving from that stance- whatever happened he made her feel uncomfortable and went on the defence instead of prioritising apologising to her for the way she felt about the situation.

what I cat fucking stand is how weirdly this situation has evolved. the initial statement was that he had touched her waist and tickled her and cat didnt like that. THAT CONTACT the touching of her waist was spread across twitter as a sexual assault. which its fucking not and it pisses me off as a victim to see how loosely terms of sex crime are being thrown around bc no matter how uncomfy you are touching your waist is not a sex crime. there was no mention of inappropriate touching actually, just that he had crossed a physical boundary with her and ive already talked about why I can empathise with that delayed reaction in feeling deeply uncomfortable with the situation . so it confused me as to why people on tiktok were spreading misinformation that his hands were down her pants and cat coming out of left field with he was grabbing my tits. because none of that was ever discussed in any of her prior statement and that seems like pertinent information when were discussing sexual assault. and from what ive seen her friends timeline of events dont match up with hers. her timeline of events onset even match up that well with her other comments on the situation and all of it just feels so fucking odd. why do the details change depending on who you ask and when you ask them

but I wasn't there. I dont know what actually happened. having experienced it you automatically hold that understanding towards her despite all the backlash because people blamed me too, they didnt believe me either and you never want to completely dismiss it no matter how weird the story seems because what if. keeping myself in the situation is stretching myself in two different directions where one is dismissing the claims of assault because nothing adds up and the other is she might be like me .

the reaction to caitis initial statement has snowballed extremely out of proportion if u ask me. nobody needs to know everyones personal grievances with dream or George or sapnap and to say that youre sharing these to support victims is a straight lie bc it has nothing to do with victims they receive nothing from your story that he made a bad joke 3 years ago or whatever and everything to do with the fact that you are utilising an opportunity to gain relevancy again and I dont want to partake in their relevancy.

I dont want to partake in any of this fucking drama actually. it's non stop. it's constant. its all over my dash all day every day but maybe its just the ppl im following idc. but I dont want to come back into a community where im going to find myself fighting to justify why I still enjoy the content of some creators while there are other creators receiving less vitriol for breaking the literal fucking law . its exhausting . its been years of it for me .

im not mentally well. I have a lot going on in my family life and I didnt realise how bad things were until I told my work friend I hadn't seen in a while my 'family drama' and she and the assistant manager pulled me aside and said 'im so sorry youre going through that right now are you dealing with everything alright?'. I have my final exams within the next month. I need to pass these to graduate. I have so much that is already causing me stress in my life and so much of the misinformation around the situation is so triggering and untagged and I dont want to log on and see another bout of 'x responds to x' 'x talks about dream' 'x shares thoughts on George situation' . I cant fucking do that right now.

people have called it the cowards way out, bailing at the burden of controversy but im not switching sides. im not deactivating. im not becoming a dranti. I still talk about the dteam i still like the dteam but I cannot force myself to endure other peoples stresses at the time being . thats all ive been thinking about rlly .

[yumegf]

idk pc funtime :D - kylie x simon fan fic

summary: idk!!! i just wanted to write them having fun on a computer since my friend mentioned them gaming its just a short fic half the time its them just observing each other :p words: 2,105 a03 link if u don't wanna read it on tumblr :3 notes: i just write to have fun sorry if its not the best as a treat u get another doodle near the end

Games are hard and what's even harder is trying to focus on them. No matter what she felt like something always went wrong, she totally didn't care as she gripped the mouse before stopping herself and seeing the horrible text of defeat. The last thing she would do was let a game win over her emotions, she felt someone linger over her shoulder. This feeling was common in the past few months of having a SQUIP but she didn't like it. He was too quiet right now and ghostly, it was out of the ordinary for him. She stopped what she was doing and turned around in her swivel chair just to see Simon standing above her with a scowl.

“You're doing it completely wrong.” He said with a harsh tone and glare as he pushed up his glasses and had his arms crossed. His glasses clouded his eyes whenever he was like this and he looked more stone-cold than ever. She scoffed and threw her hands in the air. “It's just a game..” She mumbled as she turned back around, clicking away to another tab to keep her mind off of it as her lips pouted. “It's so dumb.” She mumbled in a sort of whisper as she put one hand on her cheek to balance her heavy head. He groaned about how sour she was being about this especially since she was lying, does she constantly forget that he's in her head?

He stared at her. “You don't think it's dumb. Your brain doesn't say that. You're just upset because you lost.” Simon weirdly said in a sing-songy voice. He smirked, happy he was right, which was the usual but it still felt nice.

“I don't wanna play anymore. It's…” She growled thinking of a word, and she couldn't find another replacement. “Stupid..” She pouted and swiveled back around to face him. Her legs curled up to her side as she gently rested her head on her knees. He looked down at her a little more. He had a good idea of what to do in this situation, obviously to help her. It was his job after all and it was one of her goals that he would do anything to help her achieve but he stopped himself. She was upset in a way and he had to pick between helping her win or helping her feel better as he weighed the options in his head he wanted to do both at once.

“Stop sulking.” He groaned at her sulking before spinning her back around to face her desk as his geekiness was showing right now. She groaned a little.

“I will help. I have too of course and you need it.” He was trying his best to be polite without being rude but he just wanted to help.

She felt him nudge her out of her sat as she got up with a stretch. He sat down and watched closely on her computer, moving quickly with loud clicks. She bent down a little and watched his blank facial features as she barely paid attention to what he was doing. She always liked seeing him do something he enjoyed in a way like the small moments where he would talk about code and games, it made her so happy seeing him flash a smile and be a total know-it-all.

“Sit and watch.” He moved over a little and phased through the chair uncomfortably as his sides glitched and small blue pixels were coming from him. She sat down and felt bad as she tried her best to make room in the chair, uncomfortably sitting at the side. He winced a little before going back to a normal sitting pose as he felt his side go back to normal, he sighed dramatically before picking her up slightly and placing him on his leg so she could sit on his knee and not be so squished between.

She stiffened at his touch and nervously sat on his leg, her cheeks grew pink as she watched him carefully. He moved his arms around her so he could still use the computer and was very proud of himself for doing such a thing as he wasn't one for touchy-feely things but this was okay enough for him. He did enjoy the slight warmth she always gave off compared to his cold harsh body.

“Watch very closely.” His eyebrows furrowed as she watched the flashing colors on the screen and tried not to giggle at his geeky lisp near the end. It was a lot to process but he was scarily good. Well, why wouldn't he be, after a few minutes of genuine shock and watching it as well as uncomfortably and nervously sitting on his leg.

Her hand was on the mouse as he put his hand over hers to move it around. She couldn’t help but notice how robotically he moved with really no mistakes. It was interesting and his hands on hers made her cheeks a bit pink, it felt so strange when his hand would phase through hers or the mouse's. It was an electric feeling of course but felt so ticklish so she tried not to squirm. Throughout the entire round, he pointed and commented on everything. He talked and talked about her mistakes and the small details she had been missing as well as dropping the fact he had been tracking her and her brain to see how her train of thought while playing worked. She was used to things like that but a part of her couldn't help but feel weirded from it.

She stayed quiet, not to disturb him, and just listened. The pair finally finished and he flashed a grin. He was proud seeing her surprised face and wide eyes, it always made him happy to impress her in any way shape, or form. He could always do that being a supercomputer and all but it was special to impress her with something she was particularly interested in.

“Do you see your simple misthtakes now?” He said with a smug tone, an almost teasing one at that. He leaned back in the chair as he stretched out, his arms went behind his head with a groan. He can't even get tired but he felt like he must emphasize how focused he was.

“Can you play more..It's fun to watch…and u-um.. I need more ‘help’ ” She mumbled as she looked away, trying to hide how impressed she was not to stroke his ego further. He sat back up quickly with wide eyes, for once she was able to see them and he felt himself glitch a little excitedly. He didn't know what to say, a part of him wanted to correct her stuttering but another part of him ignored that completely and just wanted to impress her further.

He felt himself smirk and try not to happily laugh. “Well I mean..Yes.. If you need more explaining then..yes.” He said his best not trying to sound like he was excited to show off. He held her closely with one hand and debated on pecking her cheek but let her get back on his thigh before starting another game.

“I had no idea you needed such help..you know you can always tell me… it's not like I won't know.” He tried sounding helpful but his smug tone just buried it completely. She let out a small nod before leaning into him and moving slightly down in the chair and into the center of his legs so she could finally sit there comfortably. He rolled his eyes at her new pose as the lumbar support wasn’t the best but he didn’t have time to correct her posture he just wanted to show off.

He couldn’t help but monitor her body right now and try his best to take a peek into her mental state. Simon noticed how much she would curl up to him in holding like feeling a part of him wanting to fix how clingy she was but that was the least of his worries most of the time. He can’t claim not to know why she feels this way, he’s a part of her brain, but he wouldn’t want to point that out right now, which could upset her.

He quickly noticed her sudden compliance to all of this when usually she would resist the help in the things she takes pride in. He noticed her nerves relaxing and blood pressure slowing which made him a bit antsy, he gently touched her side just to see her pressure spike up again. It made sense, he was just worried for nothing.

He was getting used to her being on top of his leg as he opened them a bit more and nudged her in the space in the middle, he always enjoyed this fun pose they did from time to time it was like she was in the palm of his hand. She moved downwards in the seat and leaned backward, she was rather happy about this whole thing. She didn’t care sometimes about how bad or good she did in a game usually. She just happened to get a bit pissy about it. Kylie just wanted to see him have fun at the moment and relax. It was an interesting thing to watch and she hoped her account didn’t get banned for technically bot activity..eek O_O..but who knows..

He started enough round as he let out a small relieved sigh like he had been working all day and just sat down.

During the queue times, he usually placed his head on hers to rest it or impatiently tangled through her hair with his fingers before focusing in. He was having fun and wished he could do it all the time..he can but he just chooses to focus on other things and other ‘goals’..

He didn’t say much, usually pointing when something interesting happened and loudly explaining their faults or he just made quiet giggles trying not to disturb her peace. Her eyes felt heavy but she watched intensely and had a small smile the whole time. He tried his best not to move around a lot so she wouldn’t fall off or move somewhere else, he liked the warmth and weight on him versus the cold empty floaty feeling he felt all the time. It made him feel alive but he was too flustered to make any more moves really.

He felt her go limp during some moments and couldn’t help but take a peek at her heart rate and pressure. She hadn’t been going to bed at his preferred time for her so it made sense she would be so tired but a sense of pride washed over him when he realized she fell asleep on him. He would usually discourage such a thing as she’s not sleeping in a good supporting position and she was still in her normal clothes but he would let it all slide for tonight. He was so happy she was even comfortable enough to sleep on him. His breathing got quicker as he tried to be extra careful as he felt her heavy warm weight curl around him and drift off from time to time. She was fighting to stay awake but it was so comfortable and hearing him click away felt nice.

After a few games around 2 hours flew by before he noticed her fully asleep and zipped out the chair slowly. He was trying his best not to disturb her needed slumber and shushed her to sleep. Simon debated moving her to the bed but if he didn’t it could be another issue for tomorrow. He mentally rolled his eyes as tried to gently carry and or pick her up on the bed which was difficult since she would open her heavy eyes a little before drifting back off. He wasn’t used to carrying someone at all and rolled her onto the bed as he put a small blanket on her while removing her glasses with another hand. He tried his best to make sure she kept perfectly straight before she rolled over and messed it up.

Simon gave a small smile before gently kissing her cheek, feeling the slight zap that came from it. He sighed as he placed the glasses down and disappeared into the dark as the room's lights turned off, he couldn’t sleep but he had to have a stationary mode of sorts where he just waited for tomorrow and studied the plan for the next school day.

[secondchoice-ragdoll]

Do you think Trixie ever had feelings for Katya?

hiyaaaaaay now thats definitely a question😭 disclaimer: this is veeeery wishy-washy and fanfiction-y, based on barely anything else but *vibes* and my observations. this is strictly my perspective, and may not at all overlap w anyone's involved. none of this should be treated as actual information (just like anything else i say, pretty much).

so the quick answer is: yes. (but "feelings" is very broad)

in depth: i am 99,9% sure the answer is yes. at some point(/s), to some degree, some kinds of feelings, definitely yes. in the beginning it (whatever it was) seemed to pair with a sort of admiartion, which im sure they still have, but back then K could have been more like a far away, untouchable, sensational concept, now K is closer and she knows her well and loves and trusts her (and she is her god. never forget that😭😭😭). like rn she for sure loves K very very dearly and very very much. do you know abt that kind of love when u r not exactly sure what box to put it into, but all that matters is that its there and its a big feeling. and maybe u would be open to it being sexual/romantic too, but u might as well be fine w nothing of the sort ever happening, u just want to keep each other close. well they seem to fall under this bracket from where i stand.

obvi we know K has vocalised her opinion on the matter back in the days pretty clearly. and i'd argue that she has kept doing so up until very recently. and i'd also argue that so did T. like, the jig has been up for a decade, i think atp its their subconscious speaking sometimes, and they might not even be fully aware of how they r coming off (for example: the way they kept describing each other when asked abt their ideal partners. like, im sure they do not spend their days actively pining for each other. but like. u see it, i see it, we all see it?). im not saying they'd be perfect together w no issues and no rough times, bc thats just not realistic at all, but i know for a fact that they do love each other so very much im not even sure what a person can do w that intensitiy. (do they love each other the most? like, im not joking here, do u remember the times they have both said things like "u r my fav person" or "i definitely love u very much" or T pressing K on who she loves the most until she said her name? like??? if things have happened in the last months then i think ppl might have fallen out of Ts line who had a chance at being higher on the list (for a few possible reasons. such as being a romantic partner and how u r "supposed to" place those ones higher. but i get that. i just also have a lot of feeling abt this, surprisingly) then they *do* do love each other the most, dont they? so its all veeery complicated w them😭

the thing i am not certain abt is if T ever called it what it was, even only to herself. bc. like she doesnt seem to be a very big fan of said possibility of said feelings towards said person regardless of whether or not its true. like yes she will float the idea as a """joke""" of K being her partner at netflick in the middle of watching something totally irrelevant. but as a sentimental deep and actual reality im decently sure she does not like it. at different times of the last decade for different reasons (understandable ones, if i might add. the worst of it is that i can easily justify everything from both ends and thats why its just so UGH bc i get it. but i still think they r silly for doing things the way they do them). i think she knows on a level of being aware of what time it is, but the most in-character thing in my head would be for her to just go "no💗 like okay i see u i hear u i cant do anything but accept the fact that there is smth but just no. we got to stop, we cant be doing this. so i will not be acknowledging anything of the sort. bye". like ik it sounds stupid spelled out like this, but what i mean is that i feel like she worked on putting these things neatly away (before they even really had a chance to form into a graspable thought), and despite the box being made of glass and a little seetrought here and there, she seems to be content abt it being as it is.

and for how things are since her break? not a single fucking clue. i couldnt even tell u if i got paid to do so. i have a few ideas, all of them being based on even more nothing of a nothing than any of my other ideas. but i am seated for whenever we will be hearing abt how things went, or just seeing how things r when she is back. hope she is doing amazing wherever she is!!

[landofzero-archive]

Ougonten - Account of the Dragon's Ascension 3

Writer: Kanata Haruka

Season: Winter

(Location: Starmony Dorm Library)

Mitsuru: U~mm, at a time like this, Mika-ni~chan should……It really is hard to write essays!

Mika: (Seems like Mitsuru-kun’s really concentratin’. At this rate, even if ya be a little flashy with yer movements, he won’t notice ya.

Even if I fail to catch Mitsuru-kun, Ran-senpai would be lying in wait at the book room’s entrance to catch him.)

Mitsuru: …… Will this complete it? Okay, let’s try to read through it again!

Mika: (Still, this time I’m the one sneaking behind Mitsuru-kun. Our positions got switched from before this, so this might get a little interestin’......

It’s sorta exciting, maybe it’s the same feeling Mitsuru-kun got from following after me.

Oh, that’s bad, that’s bad! If I keep thinkin’ unnecessary things, I’ll fail again.

This time, right here, we’ll settle the scores! Better get ready, Mitsuru-kun. The chase is gonna end today.)

Mitsuru-kun, today we really have ta’ talk—

Mitsuru: Hooray~! It’s finally completed~♪!

Mika: —Hn’gyah!?

Mitsuru: Eh? It’s Mika-ni~chan, why are you over there?

Mika: Ouch, ow ow……I fell on my butt ‘cause I was surprised by you suddenly standing up, Mitsuru-kun.

Mitsuru: I’m sorry, Mika-ni~chan. It’ll be awful if you got hurt.

Mika: That’s all fine and dandy, so don’t worry about it. The actual cause for this was me hiding around and bein’ sneaky……

Ngahh~! That’s right, I was hiding and sneaking around so Mitsuru-kun won’t run away!

Mitsuru: ? Mika-ni~chan, did you want to play hide and seek?

Ah, in that case, I’m going to have even more things to write! I have to hurry up and add to it!

Mika: …… Wha? What do ya mean ya have more things to write? By the way, aren’t ya running?

Mitsuru: Eh? Why do I have to run away from Mika-ni~chan?

Ah, is it because we’re going to play hide and seek? In that case, Mika-ni~chan should start counting down!

Mika: No, that’s not what I was getting at…… Wh~a?

Nagisa: …… It seems like there was no need for an organised plan.

Mitsuru: Ah, Nagisa-senpai! Hello!!

Nagisa: …… Greetings. Tenma-kun is energetic as always. That’s a relief.

Mitsuru: Yeah! I’m full of energy today too! That’s why I’m super refreshed♪ My book report homework is done too.

Nagisa: …… That’s why you’re in the book room then. Mika-kun told me that it’s rare for you to be here.

Mika: Mm, Mitsuru-kun seems the type to not like to sit still. But wait, I don’t care about that right now!

Mitsuru-kun, are you not running away from me today? Ah, I’m not saying this because I want to play hide and seek.

Mitsuru: Hmm~mm……But, if that's the case, I don’t have a reason to run from Mika-ni~chan? I’ve even finished writing my book report~?

Mika: A book report? Does that have something to do with me?

Mitsuru: Yep. I observed Mika-ni~chan and wrote a report based on that!

Mika: …… Wh~at? Hm~mmm?

This is bad, I don't get it. What does that mean?

Nagisa: …… Tenma-kun, why did you write a book report based on Mika-kun? I think normally, you would write your opinions based on a book you’ve read.

Mitsuru: That’s what I planned to do at first, too. But I got sleepy no matter what I read.

Then I went on the internet to look for a book where idols show up in; that even I can read. And there was a novel where Mika-ni~chan was the main character!

Mika: He~h, is that so? A novel where I was the main character ya say…….

Ngah? A novel where I’m, the main character? (1)

………

Eh. You’ve got to be kidding? There’s no way that sort of novel exists in this world.

Mitsuru: Nope, it really does exist. It’ll show up if you look it up on the internet!

Nagisa: …… Supposing that book really does exist. Why were you investigating Mika-kun’s personal business, Tenma-kun?

Mitsuru: Ehehe…… The truth is, I didn’t really read that novel that much. I just read the beginning part, and as expected, I got sleepy!

So, I investigated what Mika-ni~chan usual habits are like, and wrote a book report based on that!

Because it’s a story with Mika-ni~chan as the main character right? In that case, if I wrote about Mika-ni~chan, it’ll definitely end up as a report!

Nagisa: …… Hmm. If I’m not mistaken, if it was written based on rigorous research, Tenma-kun’s report could indeed be a non-fiction novel about Mika-kun.

Mika: Wait a second? I’m seriously not following yer logic right now……

Nagisa: …… Incidentally, what sort of story is the contents of that novel with Mika-kun as the main character?

Mitsuru: Um, you see, if I remember correctly, Mika-ni~chan became God, saving the world……or was it domination? Maybe he was a destroyer.

I don’t really know because I only read the beginning part, but that was the sort of story it was!

Mika: That’s all messed up!  For me to be God……What did I even do and how did I do that?

Ah, could it be that it was a ‘misheard the word ‘Paper’ (2) spoken real quickly?’ kind of situation……

Mitsuru: Nope, you were a very great type of God! The God like in ‘Team God’ with me and Nagisa-senpai!

Nagisa: …… Hmm. I can’t believe Mika-kun became God. I want to try reading that novel too.

Mika: Can ya put yer unneeded curiosity to the side! Nna~, for real, what’s going on!?

TL NOTES:

The extra comma is intentional.

A kanji pun. God ( 神 ) and Paper ( 紙 ) are both read the same way (Kami).

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[regarding-stories]

Raw and merciless: A Girl on the Shore

(Normally I would accompany a post by adding GIFs to break up text, but for media not that popular or that haven't been made into anime, that's hard to do.)

Trigger warning: Not so much for my post, but for the book itself. It contains very explicit (yet censored) allusions to sex acts, but beyond that it also features a lot of emotional cruelty, suffering, loss, and depression, and, to top it off, violence. This is not an easy book.

(Also, I'll completely spoil the story.)

"A Girl on the Shore" is a manga story contained in two volumes describing an unfolding "relationship" between Isobe and Koume, two students in the last year of middle school/junior high in a rural community. It's neither romantic nor wholesome in any way, it's probably best described as an unflattering portrayal of human nature, sexuality, emotionally damaged people, and relationships built between such people.

The art style itself is amazing in its detail. It has a very unfiltered view of people, portraying a wide range of body shapes and looks. People are not manga-cute or manga-attractive, they look like actual people. Koume is pretty in her own way but her freckles and face make her look, well, like a girl in middle school, still like a child in some ways. But she's just a stand-out character among many - you see weak jawlines and all the other features so rarely featured on average, doughy faces, different body shapes, and many adults look especially unflattering. But seldom does manga look this real.

In many manga, they have to tell you who is who by hairstyles and accessories, and tell you who is attractive and who is not because of the lack of visual detail. This manga may not be photo-realistic but it captures something about the faces and bodies of people that makes it easy to distinguish them and memorable and enables us to form our own impressions of them. Visually, it already is a work of art because of this, even if it decides to play the unflattering camera, hard.

But given the subject matter, this is not surprising. This is a story that looks at people when they don't want to be looked at, refusing to look away. We are basically uncensored observers to what goes down, directly to the actions, and indirectly pointed at the emotions behind them. There's a certain complicity in this closeness, and I was frankly surprised how immediate and unflinchingly the manga itself portrayed intercourse. Even though I had read a synopsis, I didn't expect this at all.

The basic plot is that Koume rejected Isobe's confession that happened after he moved to town and they were in the same class. Koume chased after older Misaki lately who has the reputation of a "player." Which is fully justified as we are told (but thankfully not shown) that Koume gave Misaki a blowjob only to be rejected by him a day after (which we are shown) in a way that was very humiliating and emotionally jarring, displaying the full extent to which he abused her feelings and hopes.

Koume then encounters Isobe again and decides to simply have sex with him at his home. (His parents are practically never home.) This develops into a "relationship" where both will have lots of intercourse with each other but she forbids him to kiss him, keeping that particular distance. Reading their post- or pre-coitus dialogues can be jarring, because they say such hurtful things to each other, often very casually, as if they meant nothing.

There is this odd emotional interplay between them that betrays that some love is still arising between them. While they often talk facing away from each other, you will find scenes where they obviously exchange a cuddle or sleep facing each other, portraying the gradual change between them. A relationship "designed" by Koume to be emotionless is anything but.

The cruel thing is how this plays out, though. Koume starts to look for ways for expressing her growing feelings to Isobe and trying to help him heal in her own, helpless, unexperienced ways. At the same time, Isobe deals with his feelings by starting to push Koume away, intensifying the sexual experience through crossing more and more boundaries, and ultimately pushing her out of his life.

We learn why Isobe is so broken. His brother committed suicide but it looked like an accident, and his family pretends that was the case, especially since Isobe deleted the suicide note he left. But this also means he carries this burden alone, increasingly isolated from and abandoned by his parents who brought him to this community, only to be shunned by not being part of it, his brother becoming a shut-in and committing suicide, and finally spiraling more and more himself without anybody intervening.

The violence of conformity turns into physical violence several times. "Baseball guy" (I forgot his name) basically wants to bully him away from Koume, which he has a longstanding crush on, but he also beats him up after Isobe provokes him. This all culminates in an escalation in front of the teachers as Isobe tries to pretend nothing happened where both fall down the central staircase of the school. But this is also an image for the violence inherent in the community itself, with its local bullies of all kinds who harass the outsiders.

Isobe in turn blames the bullies, and we never know if rightfully so, to have basically caused the death of his brother. (I question his ability to actually identify the actual bullies at that point of his mental unraveling.) His ultimate fate seems to be determined by his obsession with his brother. He concocts and carries out a plan where he traps two of the local bullies and beats the shit out of them after having used a taser on them, also leaving them to be found by the local police with the weed they had on them. The last thing we see of Isobe is that the police catches up with him, just as he seemingly seems to have found something to look forward to. He looks like he awaited them with some feeling of elation. It's a really odd scene which, I think, really calls Isobe's mental state into complete question.

There's also an odd love triangle in the mix, because Isobe found a memory card on the shoreline containng photos of an attractive girl taking pictures of herself. As Koume's feelings develop she tries to delete these pictures from his computer, only to lead to a threatening outburst from him to her. This unreal girl in turn becomes a thing of obsession, in spite of how unreal she is to them. He directs feelings to her, and Koume feels threatened by her, and yet we never meet her. She's an unreal ghost. Until the end.

Their mutual story ends with Koume encountering a seemingly happy Isobe, a quite shocking sight for the reader as well. He found the girl and asked her for her LINE, and is quite convinced she will go out with him. He's happily crushing on her, and he rejects Koume's confession as "too late." As Isobe is arrested shortly after we never learn his ultimate fate. We find however a two year older Koume who maybe manages to let down some of her emotional distance at the insistent probing of her boyfriend.

It all adds up to a story about broken people. There's ba"se"ball guy" and Koume's best friend, Keiko, IIRC. Keiko is naturally tall, with an elongated upper body, but in spite of standing out, she has heart set on "baseball guy" who is the shorty of the class, and he's suffering for it. Keiko knows he's in love with Koume but still forces a relationship on him, but in the final scene we learn he would basically still leave her at the drop of a hat if Koume said the word. This is the mildest kind of relationship we see.

We also see a lot of use and abuse. Koume uses Isobe, Isobe uses Koume. Misaki and his friends abuse young girls that they lure in, plying them with weed and alcohol and manipulating their desire to be cool and grownup. "Baseball" guy is friends with them, but they still tease him, putting in question what kind of relationship actually exists. He also uses them to threaten Isobe, maybe partially setting off his hatred for them. Koume in turn narrowly escapes date rape after feeling sick from alcohol, showing just how predatory Misaki is. A Misaki she only turned back to after not knowing how to deal with all the rejection from Isobe.

If you start to wish anything might work out for these people, you will suffer. But our protagonists are existing on a mental health spectrum, and they will act accordingly. In a sense their actions are predetermined by their traumas, not by themselves. And while Misaki and his gang set themselves up for being hated, there's really no elation at seeing them beat up - all it left me with was seeing how deeply Isobe by then had fucked up his own life for no gain at all. The violence he returns will not rectify anything, it's not some form of righteous punishment, as much triggered by trauma as it is, it's just more abuse.

The author's depiction of how trauma acts on us is, in my opinion, accurate. It falls in line with an increasing number of works of art that seem to express how people struggle with mental health issues in a culture (depicted as, how can I know?) unprepared to deal with it. I have said this many times when facing with the actions of some characters in Japanese manga and anime - these people belong in therapy (like here and here, for example). They just keep repeating futile defense mechanisms and perpetuate trauma.

In the end, do we really get an end to this story? Isobe goes from being used to running away from any kind of love to violence to living in full blown delusion. There could not have been a happy end in store for him. After all, how on Earth could the unnamed "girl on the shore" have dealt with his massive trauma should a relationship ensue? It's a moment of basking in momentary acceptance. But this won't cure long-standing mental illness. One thing going right will not cure depression. Isobe's trajectory is probably unchanged, and having a criminal record won't improve it. His rejection of Koume seems cruel, though some may feel it's justified by her actions. I think how you see this part is heavily dependent on which of the hurts on display relates most to your own experience. In this sense there's no right or wrong to the scene, it's just how it unfolds - and something rather logical for how Isobe seems to be put together.

The mystery unsolved in the series is Koume. Having your heart broken by somebody you have a crush on is hurtful. Having it done like Misaki does is a world of hurt. But Koume's actions betray deeper problems with life than we know reasons for. Isobe's story is played out for us, put in front of us. It's unclear why Koume has issues with distance and boundaries, why she is suddenly willing to drop all pretenses at dignity. Over the course of the story Koume changes, is changed by her feelings - she is trying to find ways to alleviate Isobe's problems but she can't get access to him. She's also a coward at times, writing letters and planning actions but not following through.

But I'm not sure it matters if she's a coward. Isobe started rejecting her before she could even act on her feelings. She's facing an increasing uphill struggle to express them when she has no experience expressing them. Maybe the kiss with her boyfriend is also a sign of normalization, a sign she can overcome a trauma. She tells him she likes, loves him. We have no way of telling how honest or close to her feelings that is. It's really hard to tell. But if she feels it and does it, she worked through something to get there, especially considering how things are left with Isobe at the end.

In a sense this is her story and yet we know so little about her inner world in comparison, she always seems to seek something from others. Isobe is put on a psychological display rack, yet when the story features Koume alone it's a bog-standard life, and people call her shallow all the time. But I think she's anything but.

Also, her willingness to show up with love for someone acting toward her like Isobe betrays her strange acceptance of suffering abuse for love. She's of course no innocent, she also enacts abuse on others. But there is something there. An attempt at a horse trade - "I let you and you love me. I give you and you love me." Maybe that's why Isobe calls her manipulative, but it points to a deep lack.

One of Koume's most revealing admissions is that she is willing "to become someone kind" for Isobe. She doesn't see herself as kind, her view of herself seems stark and a cynical kind of honest. In fact, there are strong implications that self worth is a massive problem to her, and hence how willing she is to cross boundaries - whether it's orally pleasing Misaki or when it comes to letting Isobe have his way with her in the later stages of their relationship.

Koume seems willing to relinquish all boundaries for love, revealing a desperate hunger and willingness to trade for what she wants deep down. It's never revealed why. It seems that by the end of the story she reestablished those boundaries to be taken down in a more healthy way. Through intimacy instead of thrilling boundary-crossing. But before she gets there we see her return to her abuser, and I think Isobe can be classified to some extent as such as well - not only due to his threatening her, but also due to his willingness to disrespect her boundaries. He's abusing her feelings to get a thrill, refusing to let them grow when he encounters his own.

There's almost nothing she would in turn not do if push comes to shove, at least for a chance of love. This is also why she doesn't give in to Misaki in the end. There's simply nothing there and she (probably) recognizes that it's delusional to think otherwise, she just didn't know what to do in general - with her feelings. She fell back into a pattern but she also breaks the pattern in time before greater harm ensues.

Maybe that's why she can smile in the end. It's hard to believe, and frankly the ending is rushed. When the story moved ahead two years and left Isobe behind, I was completely lost. The story speeds towards a conclusion in one chapter, and frankly, I'm left skeptical to believe what unfolds. Is Koume giving in to her boyfriend or is she overcoming a trauma? Is she telling him she loves him because she can now express her feelings in a more timely manner? Or is she again resorting to some lighter form of the same?

Of course she's also an abuser in the story. She refuses to kiss Isobe or express positive feelings towards him, and this in turn is part of what leads to all the boundary-crossing. There's no way for the affection part to grow because for a good while Koume tramples around on it. And then Isobe resorts to all kinds of fetishes, leading to a use/abuse relationship.

I came into this manga with a description that seriously included a description saying "friends with benefits." But this would be probably one of the most depressing friendships ever. When Koume actually wants to act like a friend towards Isobe, he pushes her out for good. When she starts to care about the burden he carries, he moves farther and farther away from her. When she says she's actually willing to listen, he begins to seriously withdraw. Yes, Koume has caught Isobe hurt. But it's Isobe who's unwilling to do get closer to anybody. What did he expect the kiss to do he was always begging for?

Isobe's rejection of Koume almost seems tit-for-tat, and her tears are genuine. It's odd that she says she wants the unhappy Isobe back, and in sense he was convenient to her. When Isobe calls her a manipulator, he's right. But that only describes the beginning of their relationship. When Koume started to attempt to bridge the gap, Isobe erected all the walls he could. If he accuses her of being too late... He gave her no chance to be in time. I think it's clear that she sees through part of his delusion, and rightfully so. But I also think that just loving Isobe probably wouldn't have healed him. The minute Isobe "smelled" love he was already withdrawing. Trying to reach someone is not manipulation, and the manipulation she might be guilty of is probably outweighed by her willingness to reconsider how she feels. But dropping her defenses just triggered his.

Of course I could be wrong and the way Koume treated Isobe initially was so emotionally jarring, it just kicked him down the stairs further. It's hard to say. I still think the way they react to love is the telling part. She's willing to change, he doubles down on his path into the abyss. The fact that she's imperfect, sometimes a coward, selfish... makes her human. She's not meant to be a perfect vessel of unconditional love. She's a person with lots of issues, and for that, she's probably doing fine - or rather, eventually, the best she can.

"A Girl on the Shore" is pretty raw, emotionally. It's cruel. Characters are mean to each other in pretty shocking ways, and the situation they find themselves in is also cruel. It's also, in my book, an unfinished story. It seems more interested in driving the train against the wall in the last few chapters than in giving us well-paced resolution. Then takes one on.

The reason I feel so ambiguous about the ending is not that I feel it doesn't fit. It just presents too few data points to tell what is what. If Koume really loves her boyfriend, we don't know. Should we just take it at face value? We missed two years, dropped one protagonist. We're reeling. And before you stop reeling, the story ends. In this sense, this is a problem of pace. And maybe the author simply sucks at writing "the happy part."

I'm not sure what the final chapter was meant to do or who it is for. It's like another story cut short, or a development rushed to present it, but it itself is packed in its own awkwardness it's unwilling to unpack properly, and to top it off, combined with "baseball guy's" ... "confession." It calls into question the ability to grow when it simultaneously reveals that after two years of being a couple nothing has grown between those two other characters deemed good enough to not throw it away on a whim. This weird juxtaposition increases the ambiguity I feel towards the end.

The ending feels so unfinished I looked for clues of Isobe in it. I even projected him into the kissing couple in the background, even though I know it's unlikely to have taken this turn. That's how much I felt the lack of resolution.

Where does that leave us? For its own imperfections, this manga is a work of art. It may not be a positive one, and where it is positive, it may unconvincing, but it is transmitting quite a bit of emotion, and creates quite a cast of realistic characters, even if they go through stereotypical actions and archetypical roles at times. It's an emotional drama and a psychological study, and I guess it doesn't really present us with a moral, more with an observation with very few filters in place. The reader is sometimes observer, sometimes voyeur, sometimes hoping for the characters. But in the end, you have to let it go. You can't solve it. Is that a message? It's at least... art.

[guizh0ng]

Remember

Chapter 3: The Visit

"Okay! Line Up! Line Up, Everybody!" Iris clasped her hands together and looked out at the group of people standing in the hall.

She scanned the line and noticed that everyone had found their positions, including Sora who had initially been unsure of where to stand.

However, upon being helped by Amara, she had eventually found her place.

Seeing that everything was in order, Iris released a small sigh of relief, hoping that everything will be as organised like this later on.

"Listen up everybody, the President's Secretary will be arriving here for a visit and I want all of you to be on your best behaviours, got it?!" Iris spoke with a noticeable strain in her voice, and her expression suggested that she was feeling a bit of stress.

Meanwhile, Viktoriya walked beside her, holding a clipboard which seemingly contained important oinformation.

Viktoriya whispered something at Iris as she immediately stepped aside "Alright, Listen up, Iris already told all of you what you need to know, is everything complete? Weapons Inspected?!" She proclaimed.

"Yes, Ma'am!" Barnaby and Adrianne's energetic voices rang out in unison, and they high fived each other in a moment of excitement.

However, as they continued to act unprofessional by goofing around, Viktoriya turned her gaze in their direction, causing them to straighten up and stop their behavior immediately.

"Right..Food and Water, all clean?!" Viktoriya continued.

"Roger, Madam!" Amara and Rafaèlla's unison voices filled the hallway, echoing throughout the silent surroundings.

"Okay look we never really call each other by codenames other than during missions but that bi– lady will judge us eitherway so codenames?!" Viktoriya crowed "Helios!" Aiden started.

"Lunear." Yamir continued.

"Stonehouse, reporting for duty!" Barnaby followed with such energy and enthusiasm.

"Okay, okay we don't say that last part just your codenames, Barn? alright continue" Viktoriya interrupted as the line followed on.

"Yellowbell!" Amara added.

"SilverMist!" Adrianne said with glee.

"Fianchettó." Espen resumed.

"Aquamarine!" Nemo jested.

Sara retrieved her phone from her pocket and displayed it to Viktoriya.

On the screen was the word "Trilence" in bold letters.

Viktoriya's expression remained unchanged as she swiftly checked the device, seemingly making sure everything was in order.

Satisfied, she nodded, signaling Sara to move on as she let the phone pass.

"La Voùglia!" Azzurra carried on.

"Blackquill!" Rafaèlla pursued.

When Sora's turn arrived, she seemed to be in a state of confusion. Still making an effort to avoid eye contact with Viktoriya, possibly feeling uncomfortable with the situation "U ̄ n..ittai nani ga okotte iru ndarou."

"Why does this sound like a scene from a Disney channel show.." Iris murmured to herself.

Observing the current state of affairs, Iris decided to take matters into her own hands "Oh right! You don't have a codename yet!"

"Viktoriy–!"

As Iris was on the verge of offering her assistance, a loud sound cut through the silence, momentarily distracting her from the current situation.

The sound, which was later revealed to be the landing of a helicopter nearby, interrupted her thought process, causing her to shift her attention toward the source of the noise.

The arrival of the helicopter, accompanied by the landing sound it emitted, served as a sign to Iris that her presence was required elsewhere.

"Viktoriya! Let's go!" With an authoritative wave of her hand, Iris signaled Viktoriya, who threw her clipboard away, to accompany her while leaving the other members to wait alone in the hallway.

__________________________________________________

A sudden gust of wind swept over Iris and Viktoriya once they went outside, causing their hair to blow in the breeze.

Iris's heart shaped sunglasses were even blown off of her face as the powerful wind forced its way between the two women.

However, Viktoriya was quick to react and managed to catch the glasses just in time, preventing them from falling to the ground and possibly breaking.

As they waited for the helicopter to land, the sound of its rotors filled the air, drowning out the other noises around them.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the helicopter touched down softly on the ground, its rotors slowly decreasing in speed.

Iris and Viktoriya approached the entrance of the helicopter as the doors opened, revealing several bodyguards awaiting the arrival of a prominent figure stepping out of the spacecraft.

The bodyguards, who had been waiting off to the sides of the entrance, quickly moved in on either side of the door as the lady inside prepared to exit.

The bodyguards reached out to offer their assistance as the woman stepped out of the helicopter.

The woman who stepped out of the helicopter was a sight to behold – she was dressed in a pristine fashion, from her head to toe, that commanded respect and admiration.

Her ginger hair, with bleached dyed bangs in a tight bun, complemented her tall stature, and her eyes, a fiery red, were like the embers of a fire, casting her features in an otherworldly light.

She appeared confident, with a strong will and an iron-clad determination.

Her outfit, although professional, was also stylish, with a black turtle-neck, a pearl necklace, reading glasses, and a blue suit jacket.

She completed her look with a pair of plain blue pants and black heels, adding a touch of class to her already sophisticated look.

The outfit she wore was quite particularly remarkable, but another person stepped out of the helicopter that came as a surprise for the two waiting for her.

The person who accompanied her had a fair complexion, with red hair that was styled in a Khaleesi-inspired twist. Her eyes were a light shade of violet, and she appeared to have a slim figure with slightly shorter stature than Viktoriya and Iris.

Her ensemble included a miniature orange peach top hat with a white rose attached to the rim. She had the hat secured sideways on her hair, and she applied light makeup, which she was using to accent her features.

In addition to the petite orange peach top hat, she wore a Georgia peach princess coat that was left unbuttoned, featuring several pink ribbons attached to the closure. What kept the coat together was a dark peach thick belt with a Clubs-shaped buckle in the center.

Underneath the peach princess coat, she wore a candlelight peach vest, complete with a light peach bow around her neck. The rest of her ensemble consisted of a simple white short pencil skirt, chic peach socks, and rosy pink doll shoes. Her outfit may come across as slightly be considered as overdressing for the occasion, judging by the disapproving look Viktoriya gave her.

The main guest, known as the Secretary briefly thanked the bodyguards before finally turning their attention towards Iris and Viktoriya.

Upon exiting the helicopter, the lady's piercing gaze scanned Iris and Viktoriya from head to toe, analyzing every aspect of their appearances.

After taking a moment to consider her findings, the lady whispered something at her companion's ears as her companion reached for a clipboard and jotted down a few short notes on it.

The lady turned her gaze back towards Iris and Viktoriya, breaking her concentration for a brief moment.

As she did so, she broke the silence with a greeting, addressing Viktoriya first. "Kveðja, umboðsmaður Mazikeen" she said, her voice firm but respectful.

Viktoriya nodded in reply, "Kveðja til þín líka, Minsky framkvæmdastjóri" a hint of gratitude in her expression for being recognized first.

When the lady turned to Iris, her demeanor was just cold "Greetings, Agent Petronova. We've met again I see."

The change was sudden but expected, leaving Iris shuddered by the thought, still keeping a straight face "Yup..! Greetings to you too, Secretary Minsky, and I see you brought along someone with you, may i know..why?"

"Ah yes, you're finally becoming observing for once, this is Leala Quesada, she came all the way from France, I'm taking her under my wing so once I retire she'll be taking my place as the President's Secretary" Minsky said briefly and coldly.

"Bonjour Mademoiselle, It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Ms. Mikhail, I've heard so much about your wonderful work from my teacher and I'm excited to take this opportunity for the both us to get to know each other" Leala greeted Vikotrya with a well-composed yet appealing tone, presenting her with a rose that she had seemingly pulled from who knows where.

Her smile was her finest attempt to win over the other woman.

Nonetheless, Viktoriya found the gesture rather odd, given the disconnect between Leala's appearance and demeanor.

Iris watched the entire interaction, feeling a tinge of bitterness within her as she did.

"Well then since introductions are over. Mazikeen, care to show us around?" She turned to Viktoriya as she just replied instantly with, "Yes, right this way Secretary"

Viktoriya and Iris guided the lady inside the agency building, with Viktoriya taking lead and guiding the way.

Iris followed close behind, trying to keep pace with the lady as she tried to keep up with the situation.

With every step, the tension and uncertainty of the situation grew, leaving Iris feeling uneasy and unsure of what was to come.

Nevertheless, she remained professional and tried her best to present a calm and collected demeanor, ready for whatever was to come next.

__________________________________________________

The commotion in the hallway died down as the sound of footsteps rang out, causing the group to immediately snap to attention.

Each individual straightened their backs and took on a more professional demeanor as the footsteps drew closer.

"And here, we have each and every member of our agency perfectly aligned as we trained them very well" Iris, despite her efforts, had yet to master the art of professionalism with her words and tone coming across as informal, it was clear that she was still learning the ropes.

Secretary Minsky seemed to become increasingly bothered by Iris's lack of professionalism.

Her bothersome expression showed in her mannerisms, such as squinting her and telling Leala to write some things on the clipboard which she jotted down notes on it.

Viktoriya cleared her throat, "As Agent Petronova mentioned, each member of our organization possesses unique skills that are perfectly suited to their respective positions" She continued which made quite the Secretary satisfied "To further demonstrate our capabilities, I would like to invite our distinguished tour guide to lead you on a tour of our facility, Agent Aquama—!"

"No."

"Sorry?"

Without warning, Secretary Minsky interrupted Viktoriya mid-sentence, holding up her hands in a dismissive gesture.

"No, where is she?" She asked briefly.

"Who you may be talking about, Secretary?" Viktoriya queried back.

"The troublemaker that got me here in the first place." She stated which made Viktoriya and Iris turn white as they looked back at each other.

As soon as the statement was made, Sora immediately recognized that the conversation pertained directly to her.

While the others close by looked Sora at the side, they did so with concern written across their expressions.

With some hesitation, she still stepped forward, visibly anxious with fear of the unknown.

Leala eyed Sora with a fierce, attentive watch, exhibiting a combination of surprise yet astonished.

Despite her anxiety, she managed to summon the courage to take her place in front of the lady, ready to face whatever consequences she was going to receive.

"Hmm, so your the 'child' Ms. Petronova here picked up, tell me, what's your agency name?" Secretary Minsky, clearly aware of the gravity of the situation, began to speak.

Sora, caught off guard by the sudden turn of events, was at a loss for words.

She stared at Minsky in disbelief, unsure of what to say. Viktoriya, sensing her friend's inner turmoil, quickly mouthed the words 'Just say anything' to her, hoping to provide some guidance in this perilous moment.

Sora, determined to do what was necessary, took a deep breath and attempted to gather her thoughts "Uh..U~intākurusu..?"

"Hmm, I see, you haven't been trained to speak English, as expected, this level of incompetence is inexcusable, even for..this" Secretary Minsky appeared to be visibly annoyed with Iris's incapability, she directed her frustration towards Iris with a look of spite.

The look was not lost on Viktoriya, who felt a surge of anger at the injustice being shown to her close friend.

Despite wanting to stand up for Iris, she knew that doing so could potentially cause more trouble for the agency and for Iris, so she swallowed her anger and kept quiet.

"Anyways, carry on, I don't want to stay in this dump for the whole day, I hope at the end of the day you'll get a proper name." Secretary Minsky delivered her words with an unnerving lack of empathy, causing Sora to pale.

Without waiting, Minsky made her exit, striding ahead with urgency, she also snapped her fingers at Leala which she obediently followed her.

Sora followed closely behind, trying to match her pace, but struggling to keep up due to her slower speed.

Iris and Viktoriya trailed behind, trying to keep up, but also not wanting to fall too far behind.

As soon as the group left the hallway, the others all instinctively relaxed and breathed a sigh of relief.

Their collective tension dissolved as they were no longer under the gaze of the intimidating secretary.

However, there was also a sense of remorse among them as they realized that their comrades were still stuck with the secretary, facing her judgmental glare and potentially harsh words.

__________________________________________________

The first stop of their tour brought them to the meeting area.

The Secretary immediately assigned Leala the task of inspecting the room, which she began to do dutifully.

Meanwhile, Minsky took the opportunity to observe the space, silently evaluating its appearance.

With a critical eye, Minsky assessed the layout, furnishings, and general ambiance of the room, making a mental note of any improvements that could be made.

Leala, on the other hand, was meticulously examining every nook and cranny of the space, looking for any signs of wear and tear, or potential safety hazards.

"Soshite koko ga kaigijitsude–"

"When was the last time you fixed this place? The hologram is flickering." Minsky pointed out the flaw with a critical eye, while Sora stood by silently, clearly observing her every move.

Sora didn't want to be the center of attention, so she stepped back and let Minsky take full control of the situation.

"Oh don't worry, Vikto— Agent Mazikeen always makes sure to have maintainance over our technology once a week" Iris slides in, as she saved herself with a sigh of relief.

"Hm, Does she? Well looks like you have yourself a reliable and useful agent, other than does..idiots" Minsky murmured the last part although Iris have already heard it, she'll pretend she didn't.

"This hologram was quite one of my first works, actually" Viktoriya stepped in beside Minsky as she placed her hands behind her back, Iris watched the conversation from behind.

"Oh really? Quite impressive for when you were a beginner, I can tell you have potential" Minsky's eyes darted towards her, while Viktoriya's gaze remained fixed on the holographic display, seemingly ignoring everything going on around her "I have an offer to make to you"

That immediately grabbed Viktoriya's attention as she turned to her, meeting her gaze.

"My sister has an agency in Russia, I currently have a job there as a tech-conductor, Leals was also taught there for a few years before I took her in, ypu can have a brighter future ahead for you there..so please, don't sympathise with them and join us" She said.

Viktoriya spoke up, responding to Yutaka's offer with a genuine(¿) smile "I have to refuse, I'm willingly staying here to help build this agency, thank you for the offer but I'll have to decline"

Minsky let out a deep sigh, subtly showing signs of frustration, and Sora just happened to catch a glimpse of it.

With nothing to do, Sora found herself standing against the wall.

She couldn't help but observe her surroundings in silence, watching everyone on the room going about their work.

As the conversation between Minsky and Viktoriya carried on, she noticed Iris's smile slowly dropping, revealing the hidden insults directed towards her.

Sora could understand her frustration at being left out of the conversation, and she could see how it was starting to get to her.

Sora was left questioning why she was even invited in the first place if she wasn't going to have a tour.

She was just an extra in the scenario, nothing more.

Iris was being blamed for the whole situation, which made Sora feel guilty as it was her fault for getting in this mess.

But despite the guilt, she decided to stay quiet and observe the room, saving herself from insults while staying out of the spotlight.

"Hi there, I'm Leala Quesada, it's nice to meet you" Sora found herself caught off guard by Leala's sudden arrival.

She hadn't realized that Leala had finished inspecting the room, and the sudden interruption caught her by surprise.

"Sora Hoshino." Sora stated briefly as she took a step back and bowed down infront of her.

Leala found herself quite amused by this gesture, almost like she was discovering something new "Well Ms. Hoshino, what brought you here in this agency?"

Sora just looked at her for a few seconds, then shrugged it off, almost like she was trying to brush off the awkwardness of the moment.

"Not much of a talker, are you? Don't worry, me too" After Leala's sudden appearance, she stood beside Sora.

She noticed the look that Sora had on her face, almost as if she was analyzing something.

She looked over to see what it was that Sora was looking at, trying to figure out what made Sora react in that way.

"So, I heard you lost your memories, right?" Leala queried which quite triggered the hell out of Sora as its become a sensitive topic within her "Oh don't worry, my teacher heard it from Iris and she told me" Leala reassured her but Sora wasn't even in the slightest calmed down by this.

"Anyways, have you ever wondered what you liked or did before all this?" Leala asked.

Sora had already asked that question to herself on multiple occasions, yet somehow, she never seemed to come up with an answer.

She was constantly racking her brain, trying to make sense of the situation, but she felt like she was hitting a dead end.

Leala took Sora's silence as she carries on the conversation "Say, if you want, maybe one day you'll go the city, I've been there before and I'd accompany you if you'd like, y'know for old time's sake, maybe you'll remember something from the sights" She offered, although this was the first time they talked, Leala has taken the opportunity to be friendly with the local agent.

Sora had given Leala's offer some thought and was about to formulate an answer when she was suddenly interrupted by the sound of snapping fingers.

"C'mon now, let's get moving so I can get out of this place" Minsky announced as the others followed her, walking out of the room.

__________________________________________________

"Ā.., koko ga kurinikkuda to omoimasu" Sora, with a slight indication towards the room to the left, tried to point out something to the group.

However, the secretary's voice instantly cut through the air, drowning out Sora's words.

"Soshite kitchin ga arima—"

"Kitchen. Have you seriously not learned a single word on the English Language? Tch, how unreliable." Sora felt a surge of anger at the indirect insult, but she refused to let the secretary's comments get to her.

'Okay seriously, does this woman have the hobby to interrupt people?' Sora initially thought.

She tightened her fists and wanted to lash out, but she also knew she wasn't in the place to do so and couldn't let her emotions get the better of her.

With a nonchalant expression and a calm demeanor, she stood her ground, determined not to let her fury show.

"Meinu."

"Hm?"

"Nanimonai,-saki ni susumimashou ka?" Sora, although still bothered by the secretary's words, decided to take a different approach.

Instead of reacting negatively, she chose to be optimistic and lead the rest of the ladies towards the next room, unaware of what might await them.

As the lighting illuminated the room, the various electronics and technological paraphernalia within came into view, with Aiden's used, dirty cups still in plain sight. Despite the overall state of disarray, one of the computers in particular stood out, appearing entirely busted beyond repair.

They were at the Computer Lab.

A sense of panic gripped Sora as she tried to voice her concerns, but she quickly understood that the conversation was beyond her grasp.

With random hand gestures, she tried to convey her message, but the language barrier proved to be too great an obstacle.

"What the hell is this?" She asked gesturing at the mess "I can't believe you'd let this place get so disorganized, even after the time we gave you, its still like this?! This is completely unacceptable." The secretary uproared coldly.

Despite her desire to speak up, Sora knew that she was not in a position to do so.

Her words would likely fall on deaf ears, and her efforts would only serve to undermine her position further.

It was a difficult situation to be in, and she felt helpless as she watched the interaction unfold, unable to do anything to change the outcome.

She knew this was not the first time she had found herself in a situation where her opinion did not matter, and she wondered if it would ever change.

Resigning herself to her fate, Sora stood quietly, hoping that her blunder would not make too much of an impact on the tour.

"Secretary, we know but its just..we didn't have enough time, we'll clean it up right away" Iris tried to defend her case.

"Clean it up? That's not good enough. Do you have any idea how much time and effort it takes to keep this place in order? This is not the first time I've seen you let things get cluttered, yet everything stays the same, your still disappointing as ever." The secretary's gaze was cold and piercing as she fixed her sights on Iris instead, who was about to start her defense.

She did not even give Iris a chance to speak, instead immediately cutting her off and silencing her "You always say you'll be better everytime i go here, but your actions don't match your words. I can't continue to let you take control with these tasks if you're not going to take them seriously. Your getting desperate, Ms. Ailana and that makes you more of a pathetic person"

Iris was left feeling defenseless and powerless in the face of the secretary's dominance and complete disregard for her feelings or point of view.

"Secretary Minsky, I think we should continue the tour, that's what your here for aftera–"

"I'm not done" Minsky suddenly interrupted Viktoriya's movements, stopping her in her tracks with a stern look "Viktoriya, I know how it is here, so I really think you should consider joining my sisters agency in Russia. It would be a great opportunity for you to expand your skills and network, you know you could even work with Leala here" With those words, Minsky extended her hand in invitation to Viktoriya, clearly hoping to sway her to leave her current employment and join her sister's agency.

Viktoriya pulled away with a stern look "Why are you so interested in me joining your sister's agency? Are you trying to do me a favor?"

As the secretary's hand remained outstretched before her, Viktoriya eyed it warily, her expression was filling her up slowly but surely, it wasn't doubt, it wasn't fear but rather anger.

"Oh no, of course not. I just think it's the perfect place for someone like you to thrive. You can learn so much from my sister, she's a real visionary in the industry, you'll be so much better off than this failure of a place"

As Iris listened to the criticism being directed at her, she couldn't help but feel a profound sense of hurt and pain.

Despite knowing that she was not the best at everything and that she had room for improvement, hearing the words spoken directly to her still caused her emotions to stir.

She couldn't help but feel a sense of injustice, as if she had been singled out and targeted for criticism.

Despite her pain, she didn't allow herself to break down and cry, choosing instead to hold her emotions back and face the situation with a stoic resignation.

It was a difficult decision to make, but she knew that letting her emotions take control would only make the situation worse.

"And she's looking for someone to replace you?" As Viktoriya skeptically teased with spite in her voice, Minsky could feel the chill in the air.

Her words were spoken like an icy dagger, piercing through Minsky's attempt to lure her to her sister's agency.

It was clear that Viktoriya was not impressed with what Minsky had to offer, and her rejection was swift and decisive.

"Excuse me? I'm not going anywhere! I just thought...!"

"Don't think I dont know what you were trying to so, I know what this is. You're trying to manipulate me into joining your sister's agency so you can get something from me, that's low, even for you." Viktoriya's tone became more snarky, with clear insult evident in her voice.

It was clear that she was not taking her words well at all.

She glanced towards Minsky with a look of outrage on her face, her eyes narrowing as she spoke.

It was a dramatic change from her previous calm and composed demeanor.

Iris, on the other hand, seemed surprised by Viktoriya's boldness, her eyes widening as she observed the situation unfold, as she pressed a hand against her chest.

Sora was equally surprised, her eyes wide open as she watched her stand up to the secretary.

The group waited for the secretary's response, anticipation building as the seconds ticked by.

They had all anticipated her to be enraged or upset at Viktoriya's response, but instead, she simply gave her a cold, disappointed look.

"Oh, so that's how it is, is it? You think you're something special now, just because she isn't here to keep you in line? Well, if you think you can handle things on your own, then go ahead. But don't come running back here when everything falls apart without her keeping your head on straight!" Minsky's anger was clear, as she stormed off from Viktoriya and approached Iris with a fury in her eyes.

She was frustrated and felt disrespected, and that was made clear in her words and actions "Listen up, if you want this little agency of yours to survive I want that troublemaker in a mission the day after tomorrow."

"What?! But the others atleast had a month before their actual mission, she might di–!" Iris argued but was shushed up by Minsky.

"I don't care. That's your problem now, not mine. We'll see how well you do on your own with this one around. If this wasn't the only agency in this country, you all would be on the streets."

"..I expected better from you, Ms. Mikhail, looks like we're not meant to work together afterall" Leala spoken quickly as she also turned away after looking at Viktoriya, following right after Minsky.

"Hey Iris, you okay..?" Viktoriya rushed over to Iris, who was looking down at the floor, clearly defeated after her confrontation with the secretary.

With that, she walked out of the room, leaving the others to ponder her words.

Iris looked back up at Viktoriya with a bitter smile, a mix of sadness and frustration on her face "Yeah..! Hey, thank you for standing up to her, I'll be out on my office" Iris took a deep breath and said her words quickly, before darting away from the room.

Viktoriya reached out her arm towards Iris, seemingly trying to offer her support or comfort.

However, after a moment of hesitation, she decided to withdraw her arm and give Iris some space.

After her moment of hesitation, Viktoriya turned to Sora and saw that she had been watching the whole time.

Sora's eyes were filled with guilt, clearly showing her sorrow for the part she had played in the conflict.

"Gomen'nasai, koreijō meiwaku o kakete kanojo o koko ni tsurete iku tsumori wa arimasendeshita" Sora started to speak quickly, apologizing for the part she had played in the conflict.

"It's alright, you didn't know anyways.." Viktoriya said reassuringly "And hey I'm sorry, I know you were probably hurt what I told you yesterday, I just wanted you to realize your mistakes, I didn't think of how'd you feel.." Viktoriya looked guilty aswell despite that feeling a bit out of her character, she stood there.

Sora was taken aback by the sincerity of Viktoriya's apology.

She had not expected her to take some responsibility for what had happened, especially since she herself was at fault.

Despite the fact that they had only known each other for two days, Sora felt touched by Viktoriya's gesture.

"Hey, please let me make it up to you..I left some things in the library that might help you learn some English, I know I won't be personally teaching you but..I know you want some time alone." Viktoriya said with a genuine look and sincerity,

Sora was visibly moved by the gesture, but she tried to play it cool with a gentle chuckle "Anata ga ashi ga fujiyūda to wa shirimasendeshita" She faced away and tried to hide her feelings.

"Woww, okay well Excuse you, I'm not corny, thank you very much!" Viktoriya spoke in a light-hearted and slightly offended tone, punctuating her words with a gentle chuckle.

Sora laughed along with her, finally coming to a stop moments later "Wakatta, ima kara toshokan ni iku yo"

"Alright, goodluck on that, I'll go see Iris now, I'll see you later, Sora" Viktoriya turned towards Sora as she turned to leave, closing the door behind her.

Sora was left alone in the room, and she couldn't help but smile to herself.

It was a small gesture, but it meant a lot to her.

__________________________________________________

Sora wasted no time in heading to the library, the destination that Viktoriya had directed her to.

As she opened the door to the library, she was greeted by the warm glow of a fireplace on the left side of the room, which appeared to be the sole source of illumination.

The light cast long, dark shadows across the room, and her eyes quickly noticed the two Bargère sofa chairs and glass coffee table on either side of the fireplace.

The lack of a chimney made her wonder where the smoke went, but she quickly brushed the thought aside.

She strolled to one of the chairs and took a sitting position.

The chair, while soft, was not as comfortable as she expected.

Her gaze drifted down to the coffee table, where she saw a laptop and a USB drive sitting side by side.

Curious, she looked around the area, searching for any notes or instructions that might give her a clue as to what the items were for.

She did not notice any signs or notes in the vicinity of the items on the coffee table.

With caution, she opened the laptop and noticed a sticky note placed carefully in between the screen and keyboard.

She gently removed the note, it said:

'Hello, hey sorry if I didn't had the chance to teach you speak some English so I'm leaving you my spare laptop, I'm guessing you already saw the USB so plug that in and go watch the show, it's something an old friend of mine used to watch and I think you'll like it, By Viktoriya'

'P.S. Look under the table'

As Sora read the note, she began to question the sincerity of its contents. While the first half was warm and comforting, the last statement of the note raised her eyebrows.

Despite her growing suspicions, Sora succumbed to her curiosity and looked under the table.

She was rewarded with the sight of a pen with a sticky note attached to it.

She reached down and picked it up, feeling her heart race with anticipation as to what the note might say.

She read the note again, it said:

'Okay when someone else told you to look under the table, don't do that but on the bright side I'm glad you did, I made this pen just for you, custom made, I noticed during training that kept pushing back the knife, you might be stressed that's why your distracted by other things that might make you calm down and when I'm stressed I push the button on my pen so here it I, I made this pen for you, if you press it it's a knife, yeah I know I doesn't look much but trust me, it's reliable, my weapons never fail me, I hope you like it:D'

Sora's grip tightened on the pen as she cautiously folded the sticky note and slipped it into the pocket of her belt.

With a small smile on her face, she tried to push in her growing suspicions and refused to let her feelings get the better of her.

Despite the sweetness of the moment, she reminded herself that she couldn't fully trust them, and she needed to keep her guard up.

After sighing heavily, she leaned back and began booting up the laptop, inserting the USB drive.

She sat back and watched the show, trying to let go of her worries and relax.

The day had been a whirlwind of activity and Sora was feeling exhausted by it all.

The secretary's sudden arrival, Leala's strange conversation, and the secretary's unexpected outburst, it was all too much for Sora to handle.

She tried her best to hang on and make sense of everything that was happening, but she was so tired that she just wanted to get some sleep and hope for a tamer day tomorrow.

[trashlie]

hiii hello 💗 i hope you're doing better and your trip was fun, relaxing, and revitalizing! first of all i'm glad @amuraas helped you see that quote, and that it resonated with you! @amuraas - thanks so much that was very kind of you <3

also omg thanks to @gstuffedanimal for their addition on dieter and nol! it's such an interesting and crucial observation and i think they described it perfectly!! the conscious observations vs the lack of awareness on shinae's side… it suddenly makes sense why it's always felt like a head vs heart kind of situation to me. her interactions with dieter are rooted in the knowledge what he likes her so what she does and feels reads more like it's intentional and a conscious choice (and that's not a bad thing! it's what can happen when someone confesses to you but you don't feel the same way about them, but you like them enough so you wanna give it a try and see if you might develop romantic feelings for them, it's understandable!) but yeah the contrast to nol is really striking. she's mostly unaware (or even in denial) of what's going on with her (hence the lack of internal processing -> no commentary/monologue) but that doesn't stop the feelings from coming to the surface. none of this is intentional, but that doesn't stop it from happening. it DOES feel like it's out of her control, out of nol's control too, because i'm 100% sure falling for shinae was the last thing he wanted to happen, but that didn't stop it from happening. what is there to say. the heart wants what it wants!

i'm saying this lovingly but shinae's actually so funny to me (and i'm taking fp 224 into account here) she's like "this guy showed up one day and was like a ray of sunshine in my rainy life and i feel this special connection and i'd do everything to show that i care and to make him feel loved and it devastates me that he can't open up to me no matter how much i try because i just wanna get through to him i wanna help him like he helped me i wanna see the real him also he's making me blush and my heart race and i can't hold his gaze. i wonder what is this feeling 🤔" LMAO. and nol is even funnier because he's like "i'm the master of lies and manipulation 😎" and then he thinks about shinae for 0.5 seconds and immediately turns into a tomato. hilarious. dieter knows, nana is suspecting it, by the end of the day half the hospital will know. boy stand up!!!!! get yourself together!!! and if you're gonna continue making moves, at least put on some pants and brush your teeth first! fgdhsjk sorry i just need to joke about it to cope because otherwise i'll cry… i feel so bad for dieter 😭 watching the girl you like and your best friend/wingman fall for each other, being designated the emotional support friend role when you had hope you could be more… that really sucks :( his wistful expression… pain 💔 but see, that's what happens when you're a blond blue-eyed man. you don't stand a chance against your more charismatic more confident older taller hotter orange friend. FDHGSDFJK that was really mean i'm SO SORRY 😭😭😭 sowwy dieter luv u dieter it'll take time but you'll be fine you're quim's favorite i'm pretty sure she'll give you a happy ending <3

i also really love what gstuffedanimal and you both said about dieter being safe and nol taking her to these emotional highs and lows. it makes me wonder how shinae feels. we know that to nol, shinae's presence is peaceful calm and comforting. we also know that shinae found a lot of safety and comfort in her friendship with yeonggi (especially during and after the formal). but this version of nol (mostly unintentionally) makes her go through a lot. he's also much more intense and bold than dieter, who she considers a calm and peaceful presence. and i still believe nol definitely has the potential to be a safe and calm place for her if he's honest and opens up to her and they can be more on even ground, but as of now, that doesn't really seem to be the case… and i just wonder where that leaves her.

and thank you for your summary on yu jing!! yeah it's crazy how much these past couple of episodes have revealed. and in hindsight it's obvious that if yu jing is working on a story for years, it's much bigger than yui and the hiraharas. we're still missing a couple of important puzzle pieces fit into this but ahhh the plot is thickening!

re: nol and yu jing, tbh i wouldn't be surprised if yu jing informed nol or at least dropped some hints "off camera" (maybe when they met at that diner). he must know she's working on something, why else give her the yearbook? i mean mayyybe it was a complete shot in the dark that just happened to hit bullseye but that feels flimsy. but regardless, it's interesting that the yearbook is in the middle of yu jing's table. it really feels like it's a central in all this? we just don't know how yet. i think you're onto something with the cho's. nol probably immediately understood what happened when shinae said no one was held accountable. i also wondered if yu jing would try to get information about yui from alyssa/potentially get her on their side? then again blackmail isn't yu jing's style, is it? :/

what you said about alyssa… i wouldn't be surprised if something like that happened, given how dark the story has been getting :// maybe i'm giving alyssa too much credit but it's kinda hard for me to believe that she would idolize yui like she does if yui gave her the message that she basically has to sleep her way to the top… wouldn't that imply that her connection with yui isn't enough? and would alyssa still stick with yui if she knew that yui has been enabling sa and helping men get away with it? is she really that far gone? or would yui blackmail alyssa to stay at her side by threatening to ruin her career? but then again, is alyssa that important? idk i guess… we'll have to wait and see.

this is too long again oh well. much to talk about. mwah take care! - lil anon 😼💗

Ooohhh, as usual, I get a lot to dig into when it comes to your asks! <3 So excited about this one, and I definitely laughed out loud really hard at your descriptions of Shinae and Nol because alfjkkjafjkafjkaf SPOT ON LMAO they are a MESS and I love them but my god they are gonna be so embarrassed after a while LMAO (Also i, too, cannot stop thinking about the fact that Nol is just like. Naked under that gown and just acting like it's a normal ol' day MY GUY PUT UR PANTS ON OR SOMETHING PLS the whole of their dance was so funny when you consider that aspect ;_____; LMAO)

As usual, a cut for the 224 spoilers!

I'm not sure if you're in quimchee's patreon but (and I posted this in my 224 commentary as well!) she mentioned this song has been on repeat while working on the episode and ;____; All of the Dieter feels! I DO console myself by knowing that as quimchee's favorite, he will surely get a good ending. As much as what he's going through hurts right now, crushes are a lot easier to get over with the passage of time. Something I've started to think about re: him and Shinae is really in line with what you and @gstuffedanimal have continued touching on and that sense of safety. Dieter admits he fell for Shinae because she was nice to him with no obligation to be. They weren't friends, she was just someone tougher and bolder than him, and it gave him a chance to see through the walls she put up. Someone so shy and internal like Dieter benefits from having friends who are the opposite around (like Yeonggi). Much like Shinae describes Yeonggi, Dieter described her as a ray of sunshine.

I mention this because, unlike Nol and Shinae, as far as we know, Dieter doesn't have a LOT of trauma when it comes to opening up. In his case, it's more that he's such a shy person who has moved around a lot and in moving, you lose a lot of those contacts and it becomes harder and harder to open up knowing the inevitable will eventually come. This is why I feel so hopeful for Dieter. In time, this wound will heal, in time he will meet people who will see in him what Shinae has seen, and what his friends do, too. In time, he will meet someone who will like him as much as he's liked Shinae. But of course, that means time, and he isn't in that place just yet, so boy do I feel for him. I know you posed it as a joke lol but there's definitely some truth to it - Dieter has sized himself up against Yeonggi and saw their differences, how Yeonggi possessed an ease about him, a way to not only reaching out to people but getting through to them. He doesn't necessarily draw attention to himself, because in so many instances he tries to minimize himself and shrink himself away, but those who get close to him get to see it: Yeonggi was such a radiant person.

And I think more than that, what Dieter witnessed was NOT Shinae and Yeonggi, but Shinae and Nol, and how it feels somehow even more tender and intimate, and thus hurtful to see. When you consider who Dieter knew Yeonggi as - this goofy, funny, bright kid - compared to this glimpse into Nol, so serious and intense, I think it makes it painfully more clear. Because it's not that Shinae likes Yeonggi - it's that she likes the entirety of him, whoever he might be. She likes him as a bright, radiant buoy as much as she likes him as an intense, serious storm, and I think that hurts even more. It would be easier to digest if it was just the facade that she liked - maybe those feelings would disappear. But also, in that same manner, seeing it from Nol as well. Nol, who keeps his distance even as Yeonggi; Nol, who played wingman to Dieter even without Dieter asking; Nol, a friend he cares so much about and the girl he likes so much. ;~;

I'm so sorry Dieter, I wish there was a better way for you to find out ;_____; I wish there was a less painful way.

But, at the same time, it's better now than later. Better now than if his hopes continued to grow. Better now than if he'd ever made up his mind to ask her out again. ;~; But still aaahhhhhh.

I had a point and I think I lost it lmao ;~;

Anyway, yeah, I think that's what makes it hurt even more - is that Dieter can understand why Shinae would fall for Nol, because he loves him, too, and thus he understands what she sees. But also LMAO akjlfkafjafj I know some people theorize that Soushi had a crush on Alyssa (he noted that she's cute when they first saw her alone, but finding someone cute doesn't necessarily equate to a crush) and if it were true, this would make the second time Nol has sort of "stolen" someone aljfkkafjkaf lmaoooo (I hate the concept of "stealing" a person but. You know what I mean lmao) God bless.

and i still believe nol definitely has the potential to be a safe and calm place for her if he's honest and opens up to her and they can be more on even ground, but as of now, that doesn't really seem to be the case… and i just wonder where that leaves her.

I think this is especially so when we consider the difference in how she was thinking/speaking in 223 vs 224, and even if we look at 152 as well as 178 and 179. I think these demonstrate REALLY well those highs and lows Nol takes her to. One moment she's being rather soft (for her) and sentimental, the next she's trying to be tough and retreat into her shell. She doesn't know what to make of him or her feelings about him, and I think it's safe for us to assume how big her feelings are, and that because of their enormity she can't get herself around them, so she oscillates between these extremes. She is also a fish out of water in this way lol - she has no experience at REALLY liking a person and what you do with those feelings so they're just sitting there, festering, making her feel weird. She puts up her guard but she'll just as quickly let it back down if she worries he might slip away. She lets these sentimental moments leak out, little confessions about how much she cares, but she fails to process her feelings authentically. Yes, she knows she's upset and hurt. Yes, she acknowledges it's because she cares about him and that caring alone isn't enough. But she still can't see the forest for the trees - she's so hung up on caring about him and how it keeps blowing back and hurting her that she's yet to realize the enormity of that care, and why it affects her so much worse than, say, Dieter.

To Nol she is calm and peace, but to Shinae, he's currently a raging sea. But I think that's only a part of it, because we've often seen Shinae reach out to Nol when she feels unmoored. That time she lol stalked him at work? The night she'd called him because she saw what they were saying on tv about him, and he ended up being a sense of calm for her in their own little bubble. Like you, I think there's a lot of potential for Nol to be that kind of safe harbor to her that she's been to him, but he's still so volatile, his life too tumultuous for that. She was so scared when Yujing and Rand drove away with him, and she stayed by his side even until she'd fallen asleep waiting for him to wake, and though she was full of concern, once he had, it WAS a really peaceful moment for them. We saw those echoes of her friendship with Yeonggi, how easily they fall back into that easy, comfortable relationship. It's just that.... yeah. Nol HIMSELF has to become peaceful - or, rather, CAPABLE of peace - because as long as is a turbulent body of sea, Shinae can't have peace with him.

I also think it's not that he has to change a lot TO be that presence for her. Like you said, he just has to be honest. He has to be able to let her see those raw parts of himself that scare him, that he loathes so much. He doesn't have to tell her everything immediately; I think it's more that he needs to be upfront about his fears. Admit that there are parts of him that he isn't ready to show, apologize for it. She can't see into his brain, so he needs to help her understand, and that's really all it takes. A little bit of effort and honesty. When he apologized to the space where she'd once stood, it felt so frustrating, because sure it wouldn't completely ease her feelings, but it's better than telling her he doesn't want to open his eyes, that he's okay missing out on the moment they're sharing, better than putting everyone else ahead of his needs.

But now that we're thinking about it, I do find it a little funny how Shinae represents that sense of safety and security for Nol, while he just keeps taking her on this wild ride lol. That's the very thing she didn't want in her life, lmao. If anything, I think that's a testament to Shinae's feelings, though - Nol represents everything she's tried to avoid, and she still can't help but be drawn to him, still can't help but want to do for him what he did for her. I love her ;~;

he must know she's working on something, why else give her the yearbook? i mean mayyybe it was a complete shot in the dark that just happened to hit bullseye but that feels flimsy.

I guess it wouldn't be the first time that something has happened "off screen" and was shown to us later - the whole of Nolyssa's conversation at the hospital wasn't really shown to us until episode 132 - a whole 66 episodes after we saw the first part of it! lmao So if it turns out that Yujing has informed Nol and we never saw it but it will be revealed later... then I guess I won't be TOO surprised lol. Because I agree - it seems like way too lucky a shot in the dark. It seems way to convenient if Nol didn't already have any inkling.

Frankly, I get the idea that Yujing may not be entirely sure what to do with the yearbook, either. It doesn't seem immediately evident to her, or else it would be opened up, right? Perhaps just as it is for us, it's just a clue to a bigger story she's yet to uncover?

I am SO glad you bring up Alyssa, though, because I have THOUGHTS about her! So many!!!!! (I don't think this surprises ANYONE, though lmao)

For most of the her appearance, we've been able to deduce that Alyssa admires Yui. She says so herself. But in the way that things aren't always what they appear, I think the more we learn about Alyssa, and the story itself, the more we start to see that there's more to it than we think.

I do think from the get go Alyssa WAS enamored with Yui. She is strong, independent, beautiful, wealthy, and powerful. Yui is everything Alyssa wishes to be. There's a lot I could get into about why Alyssa covets this (her family life like her mom's relationship with her dad, the possibility of her being queer and thus needing to be powerful) but I'll try not to get too deep into that. The point is: Alyssa covets power/influence and admiration, and on the surface, Yui exemplifies that.

In the same way as with Kousuke, I think Alyssa is inherently drawn to what she wishes she was, to what she covets. She wants to live a life where she doesn't have to worry about fitting in, or hiding a part of herself, or shoving down the real parts of herself in order to attain admiration. I do strongly think that the likelihood of Alyssa liking girls is a part of why she wants to fit in and be loved, but that's a whole other point. What matters is that Alyssa seeks out people who have what she wants.

We know that at least in middle school, Alyssa's dislike for pop music bordered on disdain. But we also saw in middle school that Alyssa learned you have to follow the herd if you want to fit in, and that girls admire those who are trainees.

What began as a ticket to making her dreams come true, though, seems to have become a nightmare.

(sorry for the Yui jumpscare)

Now, we can't take everything at face value, and Yui is clearly trying to get a rise out of Nol, to make him believe that Alyssa's lyrics about being trapped in a bad relationship are about him. But the as the song goes on, the focus pulls back to reveal a fuller image of Yui, with the lyrics "All these red hues keep me locked in place", "thousand pound shackles wrapped round my ankles".

As discussed with @bittrbuttr there ARE multiple ways to read these lyrics post-flashback - and frankly, I think it's possible for both to be true. Theorizing that Alyssa likes girls and hides this as a secret she can't let anyone know, this could be the shackles that hold her in place. But all these red hues? Unlike the black and white formal, we don't have a red and gold = a different team theme at the Christmas party, but still, it's pointed enough that the lyric applies to Yui, given that the focus pans out to give a longer, lingering look at her - dressed in red.

Again, we know that Alyssa doesn't really love pop music. I think to her, this was just a stepping stone to what she ultimately wants. It's possible that maybe she never even wanted to ACTUALLY debut - that she just wanted the glamor of being a trainee, with the hopes that it would give her that instant love and attention she covets.

There's a lot of implication from her group mates that Alyssa isn't around as much - missing practices, maybe? Implying that if she wasn't so busy talking to other people, she wouldn't do so bad on stage. Of course, we have to take this with a grain of salt - there's a clear rivalry between Alyssa and at least Sumin, and given the circumstances, it's not hard to imagine why. I guess Sumin and the others trained a lot longer than Alyssa, she was a last-minute addition to debut with them, and they know she got the leg up from the Hiraharas. With how hard they've worked, having Alyssa join and be a face of the group would be a huge sleight to anyone. But if it's true that Alyssa doesn't practice as hard as them... well, couldn't it be that this isn't REALLY what she wants? She's stuck in a role that she doesn't enjoy, had hoped it would fast-track her to her goals, but she's learned that the love she receives from her fans isn't unconditional. As an idol, she's expected to perform for them at any time, even on her downtime, and rather than let Nol defend her right to privacy, she gave in to fans invading her privacy to take the photos she told them she wasn't supposed to take.

But what does that have to do with Yui? After all, Yui merely gave Alyssa the opportunity, right? She fast-tracked Alyssa's career, but Alyssa (and her family) are the ones who agreed to it. Perhaps her lyrics are just about the trap that is her career, about the choice she made that makes her feel like she's pinned in place.

But I do think there's more to it, whether it involves the darker side of sponsorship or even what might ride on the line. If Shinae is trapped in her contract with no way out, who is to say it's not the same for Alyssa? Firstly, as it is, a lot of kpop groups are locked into 7 or 10 year contracts (depending on trainee time) and breaking that contract will not only be costly in terms of money, but also in whether or not they can even remain in the industry. But I get the feeling it's about more than that for Alyssa - whether it has to do with financials or something else, I feel like there's a lot at risk if Alyssa tries to escape.

This episode is the most-referenced reasoning behind Alyssa's admiration of Yui, but something really important to note is that when Alyssa speaks of what a charitable woman Yui is, she's closed her eyes. Alyssa is one of the more dishonest characters in ILY - she is dishonest with herself, with her friends, with her family. She has a lot to hide or repress. And with what we know about her personality, it makes her deceit in this moment even more intriguing.

I think Alyssa DOES covet those aspects of Yui - that she is strong and beautiful, independent, that she is a separate entity from her husband. But that seems to be the only honest thing Alyssa says, leading in to her desire to be part of a power couple.

When she calls Yui charitable, her eyes are closed. One would think that seeing Yui continue to just hand out jobs to people would support the idea that it truly is charity. But if Alyssa has started to see Yui for who she is, started to get a glimpse at the monster that lies under the mask, maybe she knows all too well it's not charity, but rather a trap.

I've also considered that maybe hearing how Yui gave Shinae a job makes Alyssa feel uncomfortable in the face of her own "charity" - the connotation that she didn't work for or earn this role is not lost when we know how her groupmates regard her, and such a public declaration of Shinae being given a job might make her feel all too aware of the fact that she hasn't earned her own job. And maybe that is part of it, too!

But I think it also has a lot to do with realizing, belatedly, that it's a trap. And I think there's a possibility that Alyssa might feel concern for Shinae, since she knows firsthand what a trap it is.

The thing about the closed eyes is that it's a mask, right? It's hiding something or being dishonest. Alyssa admits she wants to be just like Yui, which surprises Nol, because Yui is someone he detests, he can see the monster for who she is. But because of Alyssa's mask, I don't think we should take it completely at face value. There are things about Yui Alyssa admires, but it doesn't mean she wants to be just like Yui, I think. She wants to adopt aspects of her, but I think Alyssa is more aware of who Yui really is than Nol has yet realized. It's just that Alyssa has to continue to play her role, lest she lose everything she's got. Perhaps there's a subtle threat implied in her career. After all, Yui doesn't give anything for free.

Maybe it isn't as nefarious. Maybe it is like you said - Yui "teaching" Alyssa that to get what she wants she has to do uncomfortable things, sleep her way to the top, get chummy with the people who can make or break her. Maybe that IS the disillusionment, the realization that this career isn't what she had wanted, that there's an insidious underbelly to this industry, and that Yui did not thing to protect her. It seems to be very in line with how Yui operates, too - she doesn't like to get her hands dirty, she twists honesty in a way that can't be used against her. "I never TOLD you to sleep with anyone, Alyssa". Just implied it, just invoked the nature of this industry.

But I strongly feel like Alyssa doesn't quite admire Yui the way she once did, that she sees something else in her that she has no one to confide in about it. And consider how long it's been since Nol last saw Alyssa, and how their text conversations have gone nowhere. How is he to have any indication that Alyssa doesn't mean what she says, that she's just speaking to save face? For him, it's personal ire to hear Alyssa applaud the woman he detests so much. How much have they ever talked about Yui, anyway? Nol says he tried to steer her away, but I'm curious what kind of efforts he made. One of his points in his argument with Alyssa is that she knows his family doesn't see him, that they make him feel invisible. But does she have any awareness of just how abhorrent Yui has been to Nol? Again, so much of what she does is hard to trace back to her, hard to contritely say "yes, Yui abused him".

It's likely that Alyssa says what she does because she thinks she needs to, because she needs to save face in front of him, and that Nol doesn't know otherwise because he and Alyssa aren't close (anymore) and he doesn't know her well enough. He's so used to people praising Yui, he already knows that at one point in time Alyssa idolized her. Why would he think anything has changed, ESPECIALLY now that Alyssa has her career?

So to steer back to your point, I DO think it's very likely that Alyssa is being blackmailed, or at least that there's a bigger threat if she tries to back out. Yui made her and she can unmake her - and it's possible that unmaking her could be even worse. What could she do to Alyssa's family, if she as to rebel? Isn't it so easy to just see it from the view of someone unrelated - that Yui took this girl "off the streets" and gave her such an incredible opportunity, and she went and threw it in Yui's face? It would be SO EASY to make Alyssa the villain.

And I do wonder if there's something to latch on to, between the yearbook and Alyssa and Yui, but I'm not sure if there's more we should be seeing from it. Maybe there's more that Yujing has to yet uncover, but I do feel like there's a good chance that it's not so much that Alyssa is that far gone, as much as she's trapped. As to what her importance is...? On the one hand, Yui still uses her to get a rise out of Nol - the fact that she tried to make Nol believe the song is about him stands to prove that. But we've also seen Yui draw a curious connection between Alyssa and Kousuke that I still puzzle over.

This moment ALWAYS stands out to me as so odd. She uses it to segue into giving Shinae a job, but I can't help but feel like it has more of a purpose? Idk. It's not that I think Kousuke has any interest in Alyssa in that way (though I still feel like there's some curious oddities happening between them lol) but it almost feels like Yui is trying to use Alyssa on Kousuke? Idk idk. This isn't the post for that. The point is: at the end of the day, does Alyssa need to be very important for Yui? She seems to so enjoy peoples' misery and running them into the ground that Alyssa could simply be just another desperate girl she's enjoyed making a mess of. Idk. Yui is... difficult to read lol.

Also don't worry about your other ask! I wanted to save that for a separate one since I knew this would get very long anyway lmao

[pjsk-writin]

HIHI AMIA, I really love your rui glorious self hcs. If you don't mind, can you do one with tsukasa?

Feel free to deny this^^

HIHI, and im glad u did !! I hope u like this too !! <3

♡ "GLORIOUS SELF" - Tsukasa Tenma x Reader

Tsukasa may not be as observant as his troupemate, but he certainly finds you interesting!

You were so smiley and cheery with everyone, and he found you rather nice to be around! You were like Emu, except...Different. Your actions always seemed to have another air to them, he could never place it though

He grew close to you, and found your company to be incredibly lovely! There were times where he saw another side of you slipping out, and he found that side just as lovely as the rest of you!

When the two of you start dating, you still keep up your "glorious" self. Tsukasa didn't really mind as much, he would always love you no matter what side you showed to him!

He showers you in compliments and affection, yet most of the time it just feels like he loves the "glorious" parts of you

Your act was exposed when you ended up snapping at someone, causing the students of Kamiyama to know your true self, Tsukasa included

People made comments on you, almost insulting you in how they judged you for not being as cheerful and bubbly as they thought

You isolate yourself, not wanting to face anyone. Not wanting to face him

Tsukasa finds you on complete accident, but a part of him was always drawn to the rooftop anyway. He knew a part of you was drawn to the rooftop too

He stumbles across you on the rooftop, and the initial surprise between you both is palpable. Your surprise grows when he rushes up to you, falling to one knee and grabbing your hand

You simply continue to stare, and he stands, bringing both of your hands to his chest, "I am an actor, a future star at that! I understand the need to act or pretend. You love the characters I play, right?"

"My lovely co-star, I know you are worried about what I think about you, but I can assure you that my opinion will never change!" You blink in surprise, and he continues, "I will care about you no matter what act you decide to play!"

You nod, and he smiles, "And you love the person behind those characters too?" You nod once more, and he chuckles before kissing both of your hands and your forehead. "Well then, I should have all the reasons to love you, no matter what. And I do! I always will, my co-star."

Your eyes water, and you pull him into a hug. He laughs and scoops you up in a spin, keeping you close. <3

[silverdragon-imagines-blog]

A Shattered Light AU - Curiosity

[Here's that little snippet about Leo that I promised. And look! Here's Lin and Nimbus, too! Hope you enjoy ^u^]

No warnings for this one besides maybe some brief mention of scars, I guess.

“Hey, Leo, I was curious about something.”

Leo made a questioning noise as he looked up from cleaning and sharpening his sword, looking up to see Nimbus fidgeting with the hem of his tunic and Lin standing at attention beside him, blank-faced as usual.

“Well, you have my attention now. Feel free to ask your question,” Leo smiled gently, moving his task to the side and watching the two heroes as they collected themselves.

“Oh, well, um….” Nimbus trailed off, radiating nervousness as he desperately looked to Lin for help.

“We were both curious about why you always seem to keep your armor on. Even when we set up camp, you rarely remove your bracers or boots, let alone roll up your sleeves to help with dishes or laundry.”

Leo felt his smile drop like a stone, quickly trying to ease the two’s nerves by putting a convincing smile back on his face. The three of them had been together for a while now, long enough at least for them to somewhat lower their guard around him. He knew that Nimbus still felt inadequate compared to him no matter how much Leo tried to change his mind and that Lin still felt that he had to be formal and like a proper soldier around him even if Leo tried to show that he wasn’t a commanding officer. He slowly got to his feet, observing their reactions. 

“To put it simply, I suppose, I don’t want to burden you or any of the others with the mistakes I’ve made in the past. While I don’t regret what I’ve done, I don’t enjoy the reminders of my failings.”

Lin nodded stiffly, seeming satisfied despite his impassive expression. Nimbus, however, looked unconvinced.

“Was there anything else you two needed from me?”

“Nothing. Thank you for indulging our curiosity.” Lin spoke, then turned on his heel and returned to where they had set up camp.

Once Lin had left, Nimbus shook his head and stared at Leo.

“You mentioned failings, but how can that be? You’re hailed as a hero where I’m from, as the one who originally ended the Demon King’s reign.”

Leo chuckled, though it sounded hollow to his ears. He shook his head, walked toward Nimbus, and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Everyone makes mistakes, Nim. It’s just a fact of life. Even though you say I’m hailed as a hero, I can promise you that all history passed down through time rarely tells the whole story.”

“If that’s so, then will you ever tell us the whole story?”

“Maybe someday.”

Nimbus nodded, though the hero still looked displeased. Leo watched as he returned to where he had been sitting, picking up the small sculpture he had been carving out of wood. Leo sighed, sitting back down to finish his work until the sun finally set. He could feel his wrists and ankles burn with the phantom pain of shackles, but he ignored them as much as he could. Just like he did every day.

[knightyoomyoui]

MiNayeon (Mina x Nayeon)- “Back To You”

"And that will do it," Mrs. Myoui said after decorating the walls with photo frames. "Phew, we finished sooner than I expected," she exclaimed, wiping her sweat away with a towel.

Mr. Myoui approached his wife and took the towel to help himself wipe the sweat away. "Oh cmon, hon. Great teamwork is usually the secret to a group activity's success," he kissed his wife's forehead, making her smile widely at her husband's constant tenderness. "And, of course, our big boy right here will be the MVP, as you always do," Mr. Myoui said, pointing to his son, Kai, who had just finished piling boxes at the door.

Kai snorted. "Dad, my football profile has no connection of this, okay?" he said, smiling with his cherished family. "And please, don't make me the most useful of us here; what matters is that we all completed our task properly at the same time," he remarked, widening his arms.

"Tsk, humble.", Mrs. Myoui clucked her tongue and pursed her lips at her son. "So, how's our new house now?" she asked, rotating her body to glance around the interior of their new home. Her hands were on each side of her waist.

"Great.", said Mr. Myoui.

"Looking good.", Kai agreed.

"Minari, how about you?" Mrs. Myoui asked the young lady who was standing on the door, still peering outdoors as she looked about at this unfamiliar environment.

"U-uhh, I agree with you all too okasan," replied Mina, the Myoui family's daughter, turning her body to face her parents and brother, who were observing her. "I'll miss our previous place, but I know I'll get used to being here," she says softly.

"I'm glad you feel the same way, Mina," her father nodded, smiling at her daughter. "Anyway, let's take a break for now. Let's just continue what we need to do tomorrow.," the rest quickly responded, and moved on to do whatever they wanted to give themselves for a break after such a long tiring day.

Meanwhile... A girl named Nayeon, who was dressed in a school uniform, was strolling down the sidewalk of a street in Incheon. She had just turned onto another street when she noticed the house she always gets to view first has its lights completely lit.

"Someone moved in today?" she perplexingly said. She took the last few steps before arriving at her house and examined the mailbox, which had the words "Im Residence" inscribed on it.

Seeing nothing, she opened and locked the front gate before entering their house.

"Good evening, mom and dad," she said as she removed her black shoes and placed them on the shoerack behind the door.

"Good evening, honey," her mother, who was in the kitchen, said to her.

"Good evening, daughter. How's your class?" her father said, reclining on the couch and watching TV.

"Stressful as usual," she sighed tiredly, but she kept her voice upbeat. "Uhh, by the way, I observed that the house in our front looks like it's now occupied," she said, pointing to the back above her shoulder, referring to the outside where the house Nayeon saw is located.

"Oh yes yes, a family moved there earlier this morning, about an hour after you departed., Mrs. Im stated. She then placed her freshly cooked Korean-style honey glazed fried chicken on the table. Both Nayeon and her father's tongues watered at how delicious it looked.

"I also suspected that as they were taking out their things to place inside, they were speaking something that I don't understand at all," Mr. Im said, recounting what he saw hours before.

"Perhaps you don't hear them clearly, dad," Nayeon explained after hugging both her mother and father.

"No, I swear I heard them loud and clear," Mr. Im said, pointing his index finger at his ear. " They were literally shouting at each other in a different language. "

"I guess they're foreigners.", his wife said, shrugging her shoulders.

"Oh okay.", Nayeon nodded after she understood what her father is saying. "I'm just gonna go upstairs to change, mom!"

"Okay! Be right back and join us to eat after, dear!", Mrs. Im said to her daughter who just took the stairs to reach the next floor where her own personal room is.

THE NEXT DAY

Mina just picked up a ketchup-flavored chip from a shelf inside a convenience store she visited this morning. She was about to turn right next to the beverages section after placing it in her basket when she accidently bumped into someone.

She raised her head to look at the person she had just collided with, not expecting to see a woman she knew. Her eyes widened as she recognized the woman standing in front of her, who was also carrying her own basket.

"M-Mina?!"

"N-Nayeon?" she gasped.

"H-hey! Long time no see!" said Nayeon, stammered at first due to the sudden nervousness she felt after seeing again the person she had previously been very close with.

"Yeah, you too," Mina replied, almost having the same feelings Nayeon is having at their current encounter.

"Didn't expect to encounter you here," Nayeon chuckled, still unable to keep her gaze fixed on Mina. "I-I'm here to get some of the missing ingredients for today's lunch, you?" she asked Mina, raising her basket slightly to point at.

"Ahh... yeah, I'm just here to get some snacks."

"You done? I'm going to take this to the cashier now," Nayeon questioned again. "We can both go there instead," she suggested.

"Yeah, I'm just n-needing to get the cola behind you, Nayeon." Nayeon lets out a small "oh" sound as she realizes she has unwittingly blocked Mina's way for her last item to grab. She took a step back to allow Mina reach the can of cola in the freezer before placing it in her basket.

They then went to the cashier together and paid for their own items. They walked out of the store, continuing their talk while holding their plastic bags full of goods.

"How are you, Mina? It's been a year since we last saw each other right?", Nayeon said, coming up with a new topic to check up with her former classmate.

"How are you, Mina? It's been months since we last saw each other, right?" Nayeon asked, inserting a new topic to discuss with Mina.

"That was after our graduation and departure from high school last year,yes" Mina confirmed. She then curved her lips upwards on both sides to give Nayeon a smile. "I'm good, how about you?"

"Same here. Still managing to survive college," Nayeon said with a wide grin on her face, displaying her cute front bunny teeth.

"So uhhh.... what school are you currently studying at?"

"I was at SNU but I placed the past tense because I will drop out there and move to a new school because my family just moved to a new house here in Incheon from Seoul."

"Oh... is that so?" Nayeon then reacted fascinately. "Wait, so that means you now live close here? I've been buying stuffs at that store for so long yet I never seen you there not until today," she said confidently at how very certain it is.

"Yup, I'm only two blocks away," Mina said, nodding her head. "I don't know what the name of our new address is yet; I was merely drawn here by my curiosity while walking about for a bit," she admitted shyly, scratching her nape.

"We're actually the same," Nayeon stated, making Mina gape in amazement. "Two blocks, you say? Well, that street is...", Nayeon paused after when she began to finally guess what Mina is talking about as she raised her hand, only two fingers standing and the rest curled.

"Wait, IS YOUR HOUSE'S COLOR ARE WHITE AND MINT?", Nayeon's voice got louder as she asked Mina, who got startled at her sudden question.

"Yeah, how did you-" Mina halted, her face revealing the same emotion as Nayeon when she realized what Nayeon is talking about. "Oh my god..."

"No wayyyy!!! Y-you!!!" they both came to a stop as Nayeon jumped up and down with a wide grin on her face, clutching one hand into Mina's arm and using the other to point at her. "You and your family were the ones my family mentioned to me yesterday about taking the vacant house in front of us!!!," she said, her tone rising with enthusiasm.

"Does that mean that...",

"YEAH WE'RE NEIGHBORS, MINA!", Nayeon exclaimed and laughed after. Mina got stunned for a second before she also started to let out a disbelief chuckle and joined Nayeon in her laughter. "Wow, I can't believe this. I thought our meet up would only last a little but now... I guess it won't be the last yet then."

"If that so then I'm glad you're my neighbor and the first one I met in our neighborhood.", Mina smiled, feeling relieved. "Pardon me again, I really am still not completely familiar with this place.", she shyly said.

Nayeon shook her head. "Don't be, leave it to me, I'll help you get used to be around here," she assured Mina. "Even if we haven't met in a year, I hope you haven't forgotten that I'm still your friend, Mina and I have to do this." Nayeon then gave her a trustworthy grin, just as she used to do for her whenever she had problems in their high school years.

Mina, on the other hand, can't believe they've become this close again despite not seeing each other for a year and also when that moment occurred between them last year.

It gradually led her to believe that Nayeon had forgotten about it already and moved on.

"I didn't, I swear," Mina said, raising her hand and posing as if she's truly swearing to her words. "If we weren't anymore, we wouldn't converse like this as if we were very close together. Thank you, Nayeon. I appreciate it," she said, smiling gratefully to demonstrate her sincerity.

"You're welcome.", Nayeon responded.

Just after they finished talking, they took a left next to the street where they both live in front of each other. "All right, we're both here now; let's chat more later, okay?" Nayeon said as she and Mina stopped in front of her house. Mina also agreed with an "okay" on Nayeon.

"Do you still use your account where I'm one of your friends?"

"Yup."

"Okayyy!!! Nice meeting you again and welcome to our neighborhood, Mina!" exclaimed Nayeon wholeheartedly.

"T-thank you, Nayeon," Mina replied with a gummy smile. She waved farewell to Nayeon as she opened her gate and entered her house.

Mina crossed the street and walked inside her own house. She exhaled in relief as she slumped her body on the couch, knowing that happily; aside from her family, shealso knows someone around here who is very close to her, and that person is Nayeon.

3 WEEKS LATER

The two began to communicate and meet more frequently, usually to spend their free time together, though they were still able to interact with one another even when they were busy through chat or even a call. They appear to have discovered a new way to entertain themselves by simply being together.

As an unexpected result, Mina slowly developed a secret romantic attraction to Nayeon because of these. She didn't realize it at first that whenever she wanted to see and to be with Nayeon, it held a whole new meaning and something more than what Nayeon and her could only imagine.

Not until Mina and Nayeon went to an amusement park together as part of Nayeon's deal with Mina that she'll take her to the rides if Mina earns a high score in more than two subjects.

Encouraged and motivated even more by her crush-which, as previously stated, she was unaware of-, she did everything she could to focus on the exam and meticulously answer every question on the test. As a result, Mina received high marks in three core subjects: English, Math, and Science. She received 47, 49, and a perfect score out of 50.

Leading her tonight with Nayeon as both of them are now riding at one of the compartments that belongs to the giant ferris wheel here at Incheon's amusement park.

As they're just inches away from reaching the maximum height level of the wheel, Mina got her heart rattled in immense surprise when she heard Nayeon shouted loudly out of nowhere while using her phone.

"Hey," Mina said to Nayeon, who was concealing her mouth while staring at her phone. "What happened to you? You startled me so much," she giggled, amused by this bunny's yell.

"Sorry. I just couldn't help it.", Nayeon waved it off as her chubby baby cheeks starting to form some reddened blush all over it.

"Why did you screamed? Are you afraid of heights?", Mina teased Nayeon.

Nayeon smirked at Mina while puzzledly looking at her. "No, I won't be joining with you here if that's the case. I can't even pretend at something I know will endanger my consciousness," she said, shaking her head.

"Okay, that's understandable," Mina conceded, nodding her head and pursing her lips to signify that Nayeon had convinced her of her reasoning. "Then, what's with the sudden scream?"

"U-uhh... it's because..." Mina's curiosity grew as she spotted that Nayeon was hardly blushing. She was dragged down into the depths of her emotions as everything just flipped to the opposite when she heard the one thing that served as a trigger that would finally make her realize the one thing that her blindness was keeping it hidden.

And I screamed loudly-sorry again-because I just can't hold my voice and breath at how gorgeous she is here." Nayeon continued speaking and then showed her phone to Mina, who is now paying less attention to Nayeon but still able to understand what caused Nayeon to react as she did earlier. "Look, she's so beautiful here, right? "

Mina saw a selfie of a woman uploaded on Instagram with the username "m.by__sana" and assumed it was the account used by Nayeon's crush. She's not going to lie; this woman is stunning. It won't surprise her if she's an aspiring model or an idol because her beauty defines her as if she was born for it.

"Y-yeah... that j-justifies your reaction w-well.", Mina said between her stutters, also presenting the fakest smile she ever made in her life so far.

"See!!! I told you! " Nayeon said, her body quivering from the intense thrill caused by the woman she admires. Those people at our campus talking about her were right. Whether you're a boy or a girl, you'll either turn straight or gay only because of her beauty, and I'm pleased to say that I'm one of those people she caught! " Nayeon continued. She had no idea that her companion beside her had very little amusement left in her.

"What's her name?" Mina asked seriously. If looks can kill, Nayeon isn't even aware that she's in grave danger.

"Sana. She's Japanese too, like you. "

"Oh... okay.",Mina flashed a quick unrealistic smile again and returned her lips flat as she stared at Nayeon bitterly while she continued typing on her phone, probably complimenting her crush with her dummy account or any possibilities that were coming into her mind all at once.

The more it disturbs her mind, Mina's mood keeps on getting worse to the point that it pushes her to make this stop already so that it won't completely ruin her night with Nayeon.

"N-Nayeon... can you use your phone later?" Mina asked her busy friend, still trying to compose herself so she wouldn't be affected by these strange feelings she was having. "L-let's look at the stars too! She suggested, "They are surprisingly many tonight!", but it was only a ruse from her so that she could give an excuse for Nayeon to get rid of herself from the phone.

"Okayyy, I'm back.", Nayeon turned off her phone and placed it in her pocket. A huge sigh was released from Mina's mouth. Nayeon looked up to the sky to follow what Mina said. "Y-You are correct, they perfectly match the ambiance of the park, and it makes the night brighter," Nayeon said, loving the sparkling dust of the space visible to her eyes. She thought her friend was looking up at her, but Mina was actually paying more attention to her side profile, as her perspective on Nayeon had finally altered from just a normal friend to something more than that, something that involved a deep and strong feeling within her.

"Mina, you keep staring at my face. You don't have to be afraid to tell me if there's something-" Nayeon observed Mina out of the corner of her eye but was cut off by the latter.

"No... no, there's none, Nayeon." Mina was embarrassed when Nayeon caught her, causing her to hurriedly shift her head away from the girl and redirect her gaze to the starry sky. "It'sjust that... you look breathtaking tonight."

Nayeon burst out laughing at Mina's remark, causing her to playfully shove Mina away with her arm. "What's your point, Mina?" "You're making me flutter, aren't you?" she exclaimed. Mina's mood lifted slightly as she realized she had made Nayeon insanely delighted because of her this time. "I know, I'm glad you know too," Nayeon remarked, teasingly flipping her hair in the air and stared closely at Mina.

"Well it's g-good that you know at yourself too b-because that's the truth.", Mina stuttered, shyly avoiding Nayeon's playful deep stare at her, knowing it could melt her in an instant.

"Aish, just let's take a picture!",laughing again at Mina's comment while the blush on her face lingers, which was at first generated by Sana but has now been replaced by Mina.

Mina then leaned in close to Nayeon, her heart starting to beat rapidly. They both looked at the camera and smiled broadly as they posed for a picture. They checked it, both were pleased with the result. For a brief moment, Mina forgot what she had learned earlier... because all she could think about was Nayeon again.

As they waited for the ride to end, the two became stuck in silence and instead chose to just look around at the nighttime landscape of Incheon. Mina was yawning heavily as Nayeon moved her head to look at her. Then she watched Mina put her chin back over the top of her palm that was resting on the handle.

Nayeon reduced the distance between Mina and herself by moving her body closer to her. She catches Mina off guard by grabbing her head and laid it on her lap, voluntarily serving as Mina's pillow.

"Let's go home now after this; you're already tired, I see.", Nayeon said softly to Mina as she proceeded to stroke Mina's black hair. Mina, who was bewildered at Nayeon's action, watched her friend's face staring up above as the moonlight struck directly within her, highlighting her beauty, which she didn't expect that there would be a time that she'd fall in love with it too.

After the ride ended, Mina and Nayeon took a taxi together on the way home. Reaching their destination, the two are now standing in front of Mina's house, as Nayeon wanted to watch her friend go inside.

"Thank you for today, Nayeon; I had a great time with you." Mina quietly giggled, clasping her hands and pressing them against her chest.

"That proves that my money and our time were well spent," Nayeon said triumphantly. "You're always welcome, Mina. Goodnight!!! "

"Goodnight, Nayeon." Mina then waved her hands goodbye to Nayeon, who reciprocated with a smile. The two went into their respective houses and shared their day with their parents, who were both still up.

But Mina preferred to tell that part to someone she knows who can help her about this instead.

After a quick bath, Mina changed into her sleeping attire and headed to her bedroom, eventually falling asleep on her comfortable bed, making a mental note for tomorrow morning to tell her friend and classmate at her college university where she is studying at.

4 DAYS LATER

Nayeon was in her bedroom, writing her own reviewer for her impending exam, when the doorbell rang.

She looked through the window to see who had pressed it, and to her surprise, it was Mina's mother, Ms. Myoui, standing in front of their gate, waiting for someone to appear.

She dashed downstairs and opened the door to see Ms. Myoui standing at the gate. Nayeon greeted her elder politely as soon as they met each other. "Oh... k-konnichiwa, okasan..." she said respectfully, bowing her head and bending her body.

"Konnichiwa, Nayeon-chan.", Mrs. Myoui said; doing the same as Nayeon.

"What brings you here, okasan?"

"Uhm I was wondering if can I have some favor from you?", Mrs. Myoui requested, making Nayeon curious.

"F-favor? What is it, okasan?", she asked curiously.

"Me and my husband are going to attend our company's job fair today for two days but something happened that made us wanting not to continue going there anymore.", Mrs. Myoui started to explain. "Sadly, even if we want to, we can't because me and my husband has respective booths there at the job fair. Kai's on the other hand, is on his football practice."

"Ohhh okay, what's the problem then okasan?"

"Mina is sick, and we wanted to ask you if you could be Mina's guardian for today, if that is okay with you." Mrs. Myoui, said Nayeon nervously. Her eyes widened with surprise and anxiety when she learned of Mina's condition today. "We are literally frightened right now. She didn't even attend her class today because of her high fever," Mrs. Myoui added, her voice tinged with panic and worry.

Without thinking twice and a pause of hesistation, Nayeon quickly accepted Mrs. Myoui's favor for today. She knows it will be just easy and after all, she's doing this for her beloved friend. "Don't worry, okasan. I'll take care of Mina. I don't have that more schoolworks to do anyways, just reviewing for our upcoming exam.", Nayeon assuringly said.

"Ahh okay.", Mrs. Myoui nodded her head after she understood Nayeon. She grabbed her wrists after and looked at her gratefully. "Thank you so much Nayeon for this. You can expect a repay from me-",

"No, okasan. Save it.", Nayeon shook her head, interrupting Mrs. Myoui to decline her offer as a replace for her good deed. "Mina's my friend, and helping her through her hard times and seeing her okay because of me is enough for me already.", Nayeon said, showing an assuring smile.

"I'm really happy that Mina met a nice person like you, Nayeon. You are surely trustworthy.", Mrs. Myoui said, tapping and squeezing Nayeon's hands.

"And I'm glad that I met your daughter too, okasan.", Nayeon said in return.

"I have to leave now. Please send my greetings and apologies for my favor to your parents, okay?" said Mrs. Myoui. She then reached into her pocket, inserted her hand to retrieve the house key and gave it over to Nayeon. "Here's our house key, and based on my estimation, you can give her medicine later at 4," she said to Nayeon as she dropped the keys in her palm. "We have to leave now or we'll be late; bye and thank you again, Nayeon-chan!"

"Bye, okasan!", Nayeon said, waving her hand at Mrs. Myoui who is now entering their car along with her husband who will drive them both through the job fair. After Nayeon watched her slowly disappear from the distance, she looked at the keys in her hands before crossing the road and go to Mina's house.

After Nayeon opened the door carefully, she looked around the place inside the house. It was very neat, the furnitures were placed well. She kinda had some Japanese vibes around here as she looked around at some stuffs that definitely defines their culture, and Nayeon was very invested with it.

She also looked at the picture frames where it displays Mina in her different age along with her family. Nayeon then lastly saw Mina's graduation picture, reminding her of what happened last year that caused their goodbye to each other on exiting high school to get ruined.

She shook her head to get it out of her thoughts. Nayeon decided to walk down the stairs leading to the top floor after not seeing Mina in the living room.

When Nayeon reached the second floor, there were three rooms in the corridor; nevertheless, the namecards made the job easier because Nayeon saw Mina's name placed on the door that was located in the middle.

She slowly opened the door to find Mina peacefully asleep on her bed, her entire body wrapped in a blanket. Her room was already warm because her air conditioner and electric fan were both switched off. Nayeon had already guessed that this was Mina's method of sweating off the heat in her body to reduce her fever.

Nayeon took a step to the side of the bed and leaned in closer to the sleeping Mina, resting the back of her hand against Mina's forehead.

"She's burning.", Nayeon said after she felt Mina's temperature."She's lucky her parents still care for her even if they chose work today.", Nayeon whispered as she looked at Mina worriedly. She then decided to left the room and go back to her house to grabe the materials she'll need to review.

Notifying her parents about Mrs. Myoui request, they allowed her right after since Mina and her parents know each other already.

5 HOURS LATER

"Mina... mina... hey, wake up penguin.", Nayeon said as she gently shaked Mina's sleeping figure. Couple of attempts has done and in success, Mina woke up as she blinked her eyes rapidly, regaining her vision.

"Aer... Ju-.. Wai-...N-Nayeon?", Mina said after she finished rubbing her eyes off and identified the person standing beside her.

"Hi."

"Why are y-you here? You might get infected...", Mina confusedly asked. She tried to lift her body up on the bed but Nayeon prevented her and slowly pushed her back to lay down.

"It's just fever.", Nayeon reasoned out. "What matters here today is that you're sick and I'm here to take care of you."

"T-take care of me?", Mina's eyes widened at what she heard from Nayeon.

"Yup. Your mother requested this of me and I easily accepted it, so... for today, I will stand as your temporary guardian for today.", Nayeon proudly said as she presented herself to Mina. Observing that she hadn't said anything in return and still frozen in her shock and embarrassment, Nayeon then asked as she wondered. "Hey, is there a problem?"

"N-nothing... it's... it's just embarrassing," Mina said in hushed tones, since the softness of her voice, combined with her sickness for the day, reduced the energy and volume of her voice even more. Nayeon simply adjusted herself for Mina by paying close attention to what she was saying instead, and when she heard what Mina said, she burst out laughing.

"You're cute, Mina.", Nayeon said, rolling her eyes as she shook her head while smirking. Her compliment made Mina's cheeks became beet red again, smiling uncontrollably. "Don't be, okay? I willingly took this, so please do the same for me."

"O-okay.", Mina agreed.

"All right, here I made you some porridge; I did my best," Nayeon said, taking the tray behind her from Mina's study table. She assisted Mina in gently placing it on her lap so that the hot porridge in the bowl would not spill. "You need to eat first before taking your medicine," Nayeon said, taking the spoon.

Mina's eyes widened as she realized Nayeon was going to feed her like a baby, as the spoon with porridge approached her face. "Wait... I-I can do it my-"

"Sssh stop," Nayeon admonished, leaving her no choice but to comply. "Let me do it; just keep resting there," she said. She had no choice but to let Nayeon finally put the spoon in her mouth to make her taste the porridge she had made. Nayeon asked curiously after releasing the spoon from her mouth. "How's it?"

"Good enough," Mina answered, slowly nodding her head as she chewed her food.

"Phew. "That's a relief," Nayeon said, wiping away her anxious sweats. "Here, keep eating; you need your stomach full," Nayeon said as she scooped another and fed another to Mina.

"You wore it." Nayeon said, not looking at Mina.

"Hmm? "What-," Mina was going to question what Nayeon was saying when she noticed her staring at the necklace she was wearing, which instantly transported her to a past with her that heavily involved this treasured item for her to finally understand. "Oh, yeah, I did."

"Wasn't that my Valentine's present to you last year?" Nayeon asked, laughing as she remembered the story behind the necklace. "You didn't realize that was one of my ways of discreetly showing that I had a crush on you back then."

"I can't throw such beautiful thing like this, especially when it's from my... f-friend.", she added, bitterly smiling after hesitating to continue saying the last words because it makes her heart ache knowing that it will most likely be the last time they get to treat each other forever.

"Here's your medicine, by the way," Nayeon said as she lent it along with a glass of water to Mina next. "Take it so you can have a rest now." Mina followed Nayeon and placed the capsule in her mouth before drinking water to swallow it.

While seeing Mina finally drink her medicine, she tried to excuse herself after she remembered that she still had something to do downstairs. "I'll be just down-"

"C-can you stay here?"

"Hmm?", Nayeon turned around and looked at Mina, who interrupted her excuse to ask something she didn't expect. "You... want me to stay here?"

"I don't want to sleep yet. I already gained some energy because of your food, so... please? I don't want to be alone. ", Mina pleaded, pouting her lip to make her Nayeon submit and grant her wish.

Nayeon, who thinks that Mina is too adorable to resist, accepted her request, making Mina happy. "Sure, Mina. I guess I need this to have some rest too from studying." She nodded her head in agreement.

Mina flashed a gummy smile on her face. "Here, join me in bed." She patted the empty space in her bed to give it to Nayeon. She sat at it, and now both of them are in bed side by side.

"Can I lay my head on your shoulder?"

"Yup.", Nayeon permitted. Mina then proceeded to do what she asked for. She didn't know that this girl is just beyond amazing where only just a simple little touch or even seeing her just very near from her could make her go crazy in love already.

"Want to watch a movie?", Mina asked.

"Who's gonna pick?"

"Do you want to?"

"Yes.", Nayeon nodded.

"Well I want to pick too. So, to make it fair... both of us will pick.", Mina said.

"Then we will watch two movies?"

"Yeah," Mina nodded. Nayeon felt Mina's very warm head brush off slightly through her sleeve. "Alright, you pick first." Mina then reached for the remote control along with the lampshade and some mini picture frames placed on top of a small cabinet.

She pressed the power button as she pointed the remote through the sensor to turn on the TV.

Nayeon smiled as she braced herself to watch it again, despite how many times she'd seen it before.

" That's a pretty long title." Mina chuckled.

"Yeah, but the film itself is so good." Nayeon said. Mina then searched for the film and they watched it together where they mostly cried during the entire film because of how great the acting of Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet were as Joel and Clem. Like, for example, their scene where Joel recalled how he and Clem first met at the beach.

Mina was also secretly taking a glimpse of Nayeon, who was focused on watching the movie.

While watching the next movie, Mina suggested, Nayeon noticed that she was already sleeping in her arms. She was staring at her elegant face, which she used to adore before, when she was so in love with Mina back then.

Up until now, it still was, although not the same as she could tell about her feelings for Mina. She knows she's already done and openly accepted her fate that she would never be Mina's type. That's why she tried to find someone and, luckily, she found Sana, and now she's raising her hopes up again that she'll succeed this time to win her heart.

She wondered if Mina was already in love or in a relationship too, especially with that girl she had a crush on back in high school. She hasn't seen or heard any updates about her admiring someone. Whatever the case may be, all Nayeon could say to her friend was "good luck."

Nayeon then took a picture of her and Mina before she carefully moved Mina's head away from her lap and fixed her position again on the bed to make her sleep comfortably.

She patted her head one last time before going downstairs and continuing reviewing for the exam.

THE NEXT MORNING

Mina, who is now almost recovered from her sickness, went downstairs after waking up at 8 a.m. Thankfully, her vision wasn't too blurry for her to get dizzy anymore, so she could carefully move around her head again a little.

Stepping into the living room, she stepped on the smell of something being cooked, and there she saw Nayeon standing in the kitchen, looking very focused on chopping tomatoes.

"What are you cooking?" Mina suddenly asked, making Nayeon shout in surprise. Mina laughed when she saw Nayeon breathe heavily while placing her hand on her chest.

"O-oh.. M-Mina you're awake... jeez you don't have to scare at me like that!", Nayeon sulked, stomping her feet on the floor. Mina just mouthed a "sorry" to her. "Uhh I'm making breakfast and..."

"I smell something burning...", Mina quickly said, after sniffing her nose at the smell and quickly detecting the source of it. Nayeon followed where Mina was looking, and there they both were now looking at the burnt bacon in the pan.

"Right... aish..." she hurriedly grabbed a tong and removed the burnt bacon to throw it away. I just wasted high quality bacon again. "I'm sorry," she said shyly, scratching her nape.

Mina laughed. "You look struggling."

Nayeon nodded, agreeing with what Mina observed for her. "I tried cooking, that's why." Nayeon eagerly said, "I'm honestly not good but... I want to learn." She then stepped forward in front of Mina and placed her backhand on her forehead. By the way, your fever is slightly gone now. "You ain't hot anymore."

"All thanks to you." She pinched Nayeon's chubby cheek, making it red again, not just because of her pinch.

Having remembered what happened at the amusement park where Mina used Nayeon's weakness, she then planned on doing it again to tease her and... hopefully to impress and try to make her get attracted back to her again instead of that woman named Sana.

She also followed what her friend told her a few days ago after they talked when she and Nayeon went home from the amusement park. Her friend made her understand again that Sana is just Nayeon's crush and hasn't been accepted nor rejected yet. That's why she suggested Mina try to win Nayeon back again after she made Mina answer it by herself that she is definitely now in love with Nayeon after giving her the hints she did to look back.

"Here, I'll help you. Let's cook breakfast together." Mina said, and then grabbed another apron hanging on the wall to wear.

"Are you sure? You might get tired easily, but you still need to rest. "," Nayeon concernedly asked.

Don't worry much about me, Nayeon. In fact, being with you is already my rest.", Mina said, smiling. After that, Nayeon was instructed by Mina on what to do step by step, carefully so that she could follow.

While preparing the garlic, Mina noticed that Nayeon's technique of chopping was very dangerous, putting her hands at high risk of getting cut.

Keeping her other side of herself for today as Sharon, the most intense and serious one of hers, she stepped behind Nayeon and locked her in her arms, gliding her hands slowly through Nayeon's and grasping her. Her head is laying low just right next to Nayeon's face.

"Follow my hand. Hold your knife like this, then guide it through the blade as you chop," she whispered straight to Nayeon's ear, making Nayeon secretly feel goosebumps. Place your hand like this so you can't cut yourself. She said, now leaning away from her ear, and then pursed her lips to look closely at Nayeon.

Nayeon gulped at how close they were to facing each other. Mina smirked and then patted her shoulder to make her motivated.

Hours later, after they ate breakfast and while Mina was resting on the couch, typing on her phone, and Nayeon was reviewing once again, they were surprised by the familiar shout they heard coming from the door.

"They're here." Nayeon said as she looked at the door like Mina did. She stood up and opened the door, meeting Mina's parents standing in front of her.

"Good morning, Nayeon," the married couple greeted Nayeon in sync. Nayeon greeted them back too. She gave them the way to enter, and they did, removing their shoes and placing them on the rack.

"Good morning Minari... you're okay now?" Mr. Myoui asked her daughter immediately after he saw her on the couch.

"Yes, mom and dad, just a few more rests and I'll be fine.", Mina assured her father and even her mother, who were probably asking the same thing as what her husband did.

Mrs. Myoui then looked at Nayeon, who had just finished preparing her things. "Thank you so much again, Nayeon. Please, if we can help you and your family next time.. feel free to let us know, okay? "

"Yes, okasan." Nayeon replied, taking that in her mind. She then looked at her watch to check the time. "I have to go now, auntie and uncle. I still have some volleyball practice to attend. "," she excused. "Hey, Mina, are you free tomorrow?"

"Hmm, I'll check. Why?

"If you want, come to our campus' court and watch me play for our final game." Nayeon said, inviting Mina.

"Oh wow, sure then Nayeon!" Mina immediately accepted. I'll do my best to be there and support you. Just name the time, okay? "

Nayeon then placed her things on the table just to run towards Mina and hug her tightly, making Mina panic deep inside at the body contact.

"Yayyy! "Thank you!", she happily said. Mina can't help but to blush harder and let out a wide grin on her face because it really is that very uncontrollable to hold onto herself. Her parents, who aren't aware that their daughter has secret feelings for her friend, just watched them adorably.

Nayeon let go of Mina, scooping up her belongings as she walked to the door. Bye, Mina! Get well soon! "

"Bye, Nayeon. Thank you for taking care of me. "

"No problem; that's what friends do for each other, right?" Nayeon replied, prompting Mina's smile to fade.

"Ahh... yeah right.O-okay," Mina said, her real smile replaced with a fake one as she saw Nayeon leave their house and return to her own.

THE NEXT DAY

The game has just finished. Nayeon's team were declared the champions for this season's volleyball tournament. What's even more exciting to see for Mina is that Nayeon also won the award for Finals MVP.

Mina believes that her chanting for Nayeon was arguably the loudest she's ever been so far.

Mina was waiting in the main hall of the campus when she noticed Nayeon running towards her, wearing their customized championship shirt while her bottom was still from the uniform. Even though her hair looks messy from their team's celebration, she still looks beautiful and even sexier for her.

Now that she's seen her, it's finally time for her to execute her main agenda for tonight, which is to confess her love to Nayeon after she made up her mind thinking about it yesterday.

"MINA!!!!" she yelled her name so loudly that it echoed throughout the hall, causing some of the people around her to stare at them, but neither of them cared.

"HEYYYY CHAMP!!!", Mina caught Nayeon by hugging her too. "Congrats, you really did a great job there! You deserve to be the MVP indeed. "," she said after releasing Nayeon.

Nayeon denied it, maintaining her humble demeanor because she didn't want to take all the credit.

"Uhm, by the way, I just want to talk-," Mina was about to start when suddenly she heard the voice of a woman calling Nayeon from behind.

"NAYEONNIEEEE!" she exclaimed, sprinting towards Nayeon and hugging her from behind.Mina saw her face and definitely recognized who she was.

Her identity and the way she acts around Nayeon right now is enough for her to slowly feel her heart crumbling, impending to be broken in pieces.

"Oh, you're back. Did you excuse yourself already? " Nayeon asked, caressing the woman's hands wrapped around her stomach.

"Yuppp! They agreed. "," she nodded. She then raised her head and noticed Mina, who was just seriously standing in front of her and Nayeon. Oh, I'm so sorry. "I didn't know you were talking to somebody here," she apologetically said.

"Oh right, uhm, Sana, meet Mina... she's my friend and Mina I know you've seen Sana already, but let me introduce you again to her."," Nayeon said as her attention switched back to Mina again.

"Hi, I'm Minatozaki Sana." She smiled, offering her hand to Mina after releasing herself from Nayeon.

"Mina. Myoui Mina," she introduced herself again. Her lack of interest in getting to know her more was clearly visible on her face, but they couldn't read it.

"Was it true? You already saw me before? " Sana asked.

"Ahh yes, Nayeon showed me your picture and said proudly that... you're her crush." Mina gulped heavily at the last words.

"You're really head over heels for me do you, Nayeon?", Sana teasingly smirked at Nayeon who only replied with a sheepish nod.

"And you won't gonna believe this, Mina. Guess what...

... we're already a couple now!", Nayeon proudly announced it to Mina, unbeknownst to her that she effectively just shattered Mina's heart into tiny many pieces and blacked out her entire mood for today.

"Ahh... s-so... she's your girlfriend now?" Mina said, now only pretending in front of them two.

"Yeahhh!!! She just instantly answered me right after I did my speech there at the podium. "," she said and then wrapped her arm around Sana to pull her closer and kiss her directly on the lips.

Mina just witnessed her crush kiss the one she prefers to be with right in front of her very own eyes.

With that, all Mina wants to do now instead is go away from this and return to her home so that she can drown herself in complete pain, guilt, agony and shame.

"C-congratulations to both of you," Mina lifelessly said. "I-I must go now."

"Wait, Mina. Do you want to join us and celebrate? You'll go home alone if you do.", Nayeon asked.

"Nah. I'll pass.", Mina waved it off. "You two should have fun alone together now. I'll just call my classmate to pick me up here. "

"Alright then," Nayeon shrugged. "We'll get going now, Mina." she said. Mina just nodded back. Nayeon then hugged Mina one more time, although Mina didn't want it again because she didn't know how much longer she could contain herself from breaking down in her emotions. "Thank you again for coming. So much. You're the best friend ever!"

"Anything for you, Nay." Mina said. She already sniffed as a sign after Nayeon just gave a last damage by saying again that very irritating and frustrating word for Mina to hear, but thankfully the two still didn't notice it.

Bye, Mina! "Nice to meet you again!", Sana waved her hand goodbye to Mina.

"Bye. Mina waved back, only doing 3 sways before bringing her hand and arm back down as she watched Nayeon and Sana walking out of the building, away from her sigh. with their arms hooked together.

Right after they left, Mina quickly called her friend on her phone to request that they pick her up at the campus where she's studying. A Japanese woman with long hime-cut black hair exits her car minutes later; she ran towards Mina after seeing her slowly walk out.

"Mina! "Why did you ask me to come here- Oh!", she got taken aback when Mina swiftly hugged her tightly. Her concern increased as she felt her shoulder getting stained with wet from Mina's tears.

"H-hey... calm down. Why are you crying? She rejected you?", she asked while rubbing Mina's back gently to comfort her. She felt Mina's head move as she shook it.

"Then what?"

"Momoring, I'm too late now. Nayeon's already taken.", Mina said between her heavy breathing before she continued sobbing hard once again.

"Let's talk at the car about this.", the girl, whose name was revealed to be Momoring in her nickname-or simply Momo as her real name-said to Mina, and then she assisted her on their way inside her car.

2 WEEKS LATER

Mina and Nayeon attended the reunion of their school year's batch after it was announced and had them updated about it. They met their former classmates and some acquaintances from other sections at the party.

Nayeon was talking to her other fellow batchmates, Mina and Momo, who also studied at the same high school as Nayeon and Mina but from other sections, were talking together at their table when their topic quickly shifted to Nayeon as Mina had her eyes focused again on her.

"You're going to do it?" Momo asked. Mina just responded with a nod.

"Good luck then. You know that I will be here right away for you." Mina looked at Momo, who was giving her a supportive smile.

"Thanks, Momo." She nodded. She then stood up from her seat and walked towards Nayeon.

"Nayeon, can you join me for a walk around the school? I just want to do something rather than celebrate here.", Mina said.

"Oh yeah, sure. I'll join you. "," Nayeon accepted. She then excused herself away from the other batchmates and joined Mina to walk around the school together.

During their walk, they stopped by to see the familiar place where they used to study for 2 years.

"That's our classroom right there." Mina pointed at the second room across the first floor of this four-story building they were looking at. "I miss our high school days more. So many great memories we had. "

"Indeed, time flies, right?" Nayeon said. "Look at us now. We are already in college... things are getting different, it may be fun too but nothing compares to what we had here." They took a seat afterwards at one of the benches near the tree.

"As usual, to our favorite spot here in the school." Mina said before sitting down.

"I can't count how many times we used to sit here just you and I together.", Nayeon chuckled, patting and feeling the texture of this bench that holds a special place in their hearts.

"This is where we first met, remember?" Mina said, looking at Nayeon to her right.

"Yeah... I remember how I looked like a lost child as I asked your permission to sit beside you because I ran out of seat in recess.", Nayeon said as she got a flashback of herself holding her lunch approaching Mina who was silently reading a book to ask if she could sit with her. "Then you welcomed me just that easily."

"I was very kind to you back then because I've been there in your situation before."

"And for that, I am grateful." Nayeon said, placing her hand on her chest. "You never change, and I'm glad you do. Keep it like that, Mina. You'll attract the person you like in the future, like what you did to me before," Nayeon said. Mina's eyes widened and so did Nayeon's after she just realized what she said.

"God, sorry.", Nayeon covered her face with her large hands ans she shook her head in embarassment. "Ahhh I seriously remember that time too when I also confessed my feelings to you here.", Nayeon stated as that memory started playing again in her mind when Nayeon told Mina that she has a crush on her during their graduation practice but Mina rejected her instead because she liked somebody else before.

"Yes, I know it's cringy and-"

"I should've said yes to you."

Nayeon heard that. She slowly removed her hands away from her face. Furrowing her eyebrows, she looked at Mina who is now bowing her head low.

"Eh, what did you say?"

"Nayeon, are you happy with Sana?", she asked out of blue. Nayeon was confused and dumbfounded how the topic just changed in a snap and how does her current relationship status matters that much.

"I- I do. Honestly so far she's great.", she replied. "Makes my whole time admiring her and wanting her to be mine more worth it.", she smiled in relief.

"That's good.", Mina nodded slightly, a faint smile appeared. "Sorry, if I asked about it it's just...", Mina then paused, making Nayeon anticipatingly wait for her to know what was she's trying to tell.

"What is it, Mina?"

"I envy her.", she said, still unable to make eye contact with Nayeon.

"Why? Cmon, Mina. You're great too, you know. Look at her, she found someone that will love her for her personality and that's me. You'll be just like her too soon. Just wait and don't lose hope...", Nayeon got interrupted when Mina spoke once again.

"Tell me, how can I? How can I lose hope when I don't have it anymore. How... how can I wait if... it's already done?", she said. Few seconds later, Nayeon then heard some sniffling of tears on Mina, she went closer to her friend worriedly.

"Mina, are you okay?"

"Nayeon... I'm sorry."

"W-why are you apologizing?", Nayeon asked puzzledly. "Hey, what's with the tears? Did I do something wrong?", she frantically asked as she saw Mina now wiping off the tears in her eyes with her hand.

"N-no... no... you didn't. It's because... I'm just telling you right now how I actually feel for you like what you did to me too.

"I just realized these days that I fell in love for you, Nayeon.", Mina finally confessed, leaving Nayeon completely suprised.

Her eyes widened, brows raised, jaw dropped in shock as she found out that this woman right here beside her, the one she used to fall in love with before and the one she's been treating as a friend again despite hurting her heart badly, is now confessing her true feelings for her just now.

"But... Mina, you know I have a girlfriend now." Nayeon reminded her. "I have Sana with me. What's the point of this? "

"I know and please don't take this as my way to tear you both apart. "That's not my intention." Mina shook her head. "This all started when you... y-you shared to me about Sana. It pulled a trigger on my heart and mind to become fully clear about these strange feelings I'm having for you whenever we're together since we met again. "," Mina started explaining how she got it.

"It easily affects me more compared before on the way how you act sweet, caring and loving towards me because I have no one else to focus but you and I... was planning to confess yesterday but, it seems like Sana already blocked the way for me.", Mina added, crying harder as she rewinded to hear what happened two weeks ago that caused her to lose herself and gave her sleepless nights.

"Wait, that's what you're planning to do when we talked after the game?", Nayeon shockingly asked Mina. The latter just nodded, making Nayeon realize how it must've hurt insanely for Mina to witness her and Sana acting as lovers in front of her.

"Oh my god. I-I'm sorry, Mina.", she then went on to hug Mina from behind; her tears started to fall too as she can definitely feel how her friend is devastated right now because of her.

"Who are we kidding? Even if I were the first to tell you how I feel, you wouldn't return the same, do you? Your heart is choosing Sana now, and I'm just nothing but your tragic past, "Mina added. They both fell silent for a split second as only the sound of their cries could be heard around them.

"I'm very sorry, Mina," Nayeon said as she kissed her forehead and held her hands together.

"It's fine. I deserved it anyway," Mina said coldly. "Karma struck back and taught me a lesson for what I did to you, and now I'm here regretting what I did in the worst case scenario," she sighed heavily.

"I should've listened and gave my attention to you more than the one I've keep on fighting for not knowing I won't win at all.", she said, referring to her past crush that also ended up breaking Mina's heart when she just found out one day that Son Chaeyoung, the girl she was admiring at that time instead of Nayeon... was dating a girl named Kim Dahyun already.

"In that way... maybe... maybe I was the one experiencing what Sana's been having right now, and that is by how it is to have you as her lover.", Mina said with full regret. "I shouldn't have kept pushing you away if I'll just gonna end up coming back to you. ",

Nayeon then pulled Mina's head and placed it in her arms as she cuddled her poor friend and admirer in comfort. "Let it out, Mina. It's going to be okay. Please don't blame yourself too much, hmm? Love is really that unpredictable. You'll never know or tell when it comes and whether it will or not."

"You say it's karma, as if I was angry at you and I want you to have it just so you can feel what I felt when you rejected me, but no, I don't; I accepted the fact that I can't force you to love me because I respected your decision at the time."

"In fact, I'd like to apologize as well because I had no idea I was accidentally and unknowingly hurting you deep down because of my news about Sana and my new relationship."

"But Mina..." Nayeon paused for a while, catching Mina's gaze.

"Y-yeah?"

"I wish you were her as well; I really wanted to make you mine," Nayeon admitted, making Mina frown at the wasted opportunity.

"I still have you in my heart, Mina... but I'm not that same girl from before anymore who is able to catch you immediately when you fall.", Nayeon said, shaking her head. "But we can't do anything about it now. Who knows, maybe in the next lifetimes... it's you and I together.", she shrugged, looking back again at Mina who is hoping too that it would become real.

"For now, let's just be grateful that love taught us a lesson for each other that leads us on finding other person that will makes us feel special. Mine is Sana, and I hope you can get your own someday soon, Mina... who can do things that it'll make you feel that you're in the right hands.", she patted Mina's hand to signify what she meant.

Mina then moved her head forward slowly, directly through Nayeon, who is aware of what she's about to do but can't stop her body from avoiding it instead.

Mina gave Nayeon a kiss on the lips. It lasted a while, but just long enough for her to be satisfied, as she finished it by taking her lip away from Nayeon, who is still astonished by what Mina just did.

"So this is how it would've felt if I'd chosen you," Mina chuckled. "I can't believe I'm this foolish to lose something this good," she sighed.

"Are you going to be okay?" Nayeon simply asked, brushing some strands of hair away from Mina's face.

Mina nodded. "I will. For the better good. Atleast I'll remain by your side. Seeing you and Sana happy in your relationship together as she gives you the exact amount of love you're giving to her is enough for me to support you two to the fullest.", she lets out a smile, a proof that this moment they're having right now even if it hurts.. it's still effective for the both of them.

Nothing heals by going through pain first.

"That's right, and be certain that we will do the same for you once you get yours soon," Nayeon informed Mina, now smiling alongside her.

"Thank you, Nayeon for this. Seriously."

"Same as you too, Mina." Nayeon said, the two sealed their proper closure together with one last hug before cutting it out when they heard the host announce something to everyone.

" Oh, the fireworks display is about to be set off in less than a minute. C'mon, let's go there and watch it!", Nayeon stood up immediately and offered her hand for Mina to hold onto. She accepted, and the two ran together back to the main ground to join the rest.

After witnessing the fireworks show for 5 minutes, Nayeon resumed talking with some other fellow batchmates while Mina returned to her table where Momo is eating a plate of jokbal alone.

"How did it end up?", Momo asked.

"It turned out well. We are now both happy for each other.", Mina smiled in assurance.

"Don't worry, Mina. This isn't the end for you yet. You will be loved soon. Just open your heart and let yourself realize who may that be.", Momo gave her friend another advice to cheer her up.

"I will.", Mina nodded. Momo then gave her a plate of one of the foods she picked and Mina gratefully took it as she started eating too.

Unbeknownst to Mina, Momo was secretly looking at her, and a smile began to grow on her face as her heartbeat began to soar in sync with the joy and hope she was feeling.

"I guess this is my opportunity now," Momo said in her mind, smiling broadly at it.

-🐰🐧-

[lebakasmadl]

Murder on the Orient Express

by Agatha Christie

a book review

(!Spoilers! duh)

Last week I read “Murder on the Orient Express”. The language used is quite simple and straight forward, not much energy is wasted on describing meaningless details. This in itself is not a big deal, however it is quite telling if a detail is mentioned, because then you rightfully would assume that it is a puzzle piece necessary to solve the murder. This does make it much more obvious and less fun to solve the mystery (which wasn’t rly possible anyway but oh well).

Let’s set the scene:

The Orient Express is filled to the brim with passengers during a cold winter night. An intense snow storm forces the train to stop dead in its tracks. In the morning, the train still not having moved, a body is discovered. Who could have done it? Fortunately Hercule Poirot, a skilled detective, is also on board and gets asked to take the case.

Here arises the first problem for me:

HERCULE POIROT

(I will admit, that this was the first book of Poirot I have ever read, so I wasn’t quite sure what to expect from him as a character)

I don’t want to lie, I did expect kind of a french Sherlock Holmes (Omg the French don’t get me started on that) However it is not exactly what Poirot is. He didn’t rly impress with crazy combination or observation skills. To me it felt as tho he was just quite good at guessing and got lucky a lot? Like A LOT. Plus he admitted that himself? Personally I would have preferred to look into his mind a little more, it would have made the whole thing much more interesting. It was a guessing game, however reading about how he concluded what to guess might have been more entertaining, especially considering that the reader was not privy to crucial information.

The only thing rly making him stand out knowledgewise was the trick that made the writing on the letter reappear. However that whole thing drove me up a tree anyway, since it was just a tad bit too much luck for my taste that he was able to recover a full name, which happened to be the main clue for why the victim was murdered. Also also him assuming Mr. Ratchetts real identity from just the name on the letter did not feel coherent to me. Like oh this man has a weird vibe to him and there is the name of a murdered girl on a letter in his room, he HAS TO BE a serial child killer. (???)

Sexism and weird nationality stuff?

When the body is discovered with 12 stab wounds to some men on the train the case seems to be nearly solved. It must have been a woman! Obviously only women get emotional enough to murder someone with more stabs than necessary. Men no emotion, men never emotion, emotion girly stuff. Except if u are italian than it might have been u since it “fits your southern temper”??? But do not worry, everyone in this book gets their fair share of prejudice and stereotype! I do understand it was a different time when the book was released, but unfortunately these parts aged like milk.

Who did it?

Sooo huge SPOILER: It was everyone on the train!

Midway thru the book I did think to myself, well what if it was everyone? Wouldn’t that be cool? It wouldn’t. I dismissed that thought since I decided it would be too lazy from a writers perspective. Once everyone committed the crime, no one did. All of a sudden it doesn’t matter who was where at what time and what they saw or heard. It stops being about collecting clues and simply becomes about mashing a bunch of people together in the most random guessing game to give all of them the same goal. As a result the final revelation was quiet unsatisfactory.

The Plan

Twelve people had all decided to kill a man, bc he was the murderer of a little girl, Daisy Armstrong, which they all were connected to. (Thank god Poirot happened to know so much about that case that happened years ago) The connection usually being that they had previously worked for the family of the girl or being directly related to her. This is a point I personally do find weird. Some had quite believable motives, while it seemed that others went along bc Daisy was kind of a cute child? That wouldnt rly be enough for me but go off Agatha.

Their plan was pretty complicated. They would one by one sneak into the victims room and every person would stab him ONE time. That way, they claim, it “would not be possible to tell who’s strike was the actual final blow that killed him” (humbug). Then they made up a whole spiel about a woman in a red kimono and a guy dressed up as a train conductor, planted fake clues and gave each other alibis.

Of course it was in their best interest to keep the wagon to themselves. No outsiders, no witnesses. For that reason they paid for an compartment in the train, knowing they didn’t actually have another person to fill it with. If Poirot and his homie would not have come along, the wagon would have only carried twelve murderers and one victim. Meaning that this crazy game of dressing up would have been completely unnecessary??? They even stated that they practiced the whole thing on their way east, so that they could go through with it on the way back. But WHY this complicated plan, if they had actually planned not to be sharing the wagon? It seems to be too elaborate for them to have made it up on the spot, once they realized they would not be traveling alone. Plus another question that bothers me: Bc there were no more first class compartments left, Poirot actually shared a second class one with one of the killers (McQueen) for the first nights. How did they plan to avoid that? It could have been anyone in that second class room and they only got lucky bc Bouc moved to the other wagon once it became possible, so that Poirot could sleep in a First class compartment. What would they have done, if someone would have just stayed with Mr. McQueen in his bunk bed for the whole ride???

Conclusion

Why is this considered a classic?

Unfortunately I have to admit to not rly having liked this book so I can not recommend it. However if u haven’t read it yet, maybe go do so just so that we can have a chat about it. If u have already read it: Feel free to answer my questions and/or tell me about your opinion. I’ll be waiting.

All in all one round match out of twelve stab wounds